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katriniac · 1 year ago

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OMG you are in folk fairytales and legend Please can you tell me some of the cuteer ones you found even better if involving bears ? I loved interact with your OC too thanks fir joining and pls relax too from time to time and do not rush in answering me either 🙏🙏 I wish you a wonderful day 🤗🤗😘😘

Yesssss, I love them! Since a very young age I have been an avid reader/student of folklore, fairy tales, myths, and legends.

Below I talk more about my personal history/feelings on the topic, and end with my three favorite fairy tales. I hope they are “cute” enough for you!

But first I wanted to answer your question about stories featuring bears.

I tried to think of one in my memory where a bear played a prominent part, but turned up empty. I mean, yes, there is the standard “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, but I assumed you wanted to hear about something off the beaten path.

So I dug around and found this one for you:

"The Bear in the Forest Hut".

It is a Slavic folk tale about a prince who was cursed to take the shape of a bear, and the brave and kind woman who helped him out of that curse. She had the typical misfortune to have a stupid father and an ‘evil stepmother’ who tries to stop anything good from happening to the heroine.

I liked this one because there is plenty of detail about the trials and tests the girl goes through in order to earn the bear’s trust and break his curse. Even more unique is how the story doesn’t just end right when the curse is broken (like so many folk tales). Instead, it goes on at length about how the two get married, travel over his kingdom, and what happens to the stepmother and stepsister.

@queengiuliettafirstlady What are some of your favorite fairy tales and myths?

How did I come to love fairy tales so much?

I think I can trace it back to my godmother, who was an amazing storyteller. She was Irish, so most of the tales she told me came from the British Isles and dated back to the 12th Century or earlier. The stories I most vividly remember her telling me were about the 3rd Century charismatic (but slightly foolish) folk hero Finn MacCool (or Fionn mac Cumhaill) and his very very clever wife Sadhbh.

As I entered my preteen years (1990s, pre-internet era) a library was built within a 15 minute drive from our rural town. I had never had such a frequent exposure to books before that, except our small school library. My mom would take me to the new public library often and I devoured every book they had on fairy tales and legends.

When I started college, the trend of turning ancient folktales into modern, dark retelling had begun to rise in popularity. Not only was my backpack full of those every week, but now I also had access to scholarly papers through our inter-collegiate online system! I could read published research on people all over the world, those who retraced Charles Perrault’s steps, or compared similar narratives, or discovered a new translation of an old work. It was also during my college years that I discovered The Aaarne-Thompson-Uther index, which categorizes the plots and themes of fairy tales.

When I learned about Perrault and the ATU Index, it changed my self-image.

Of course kids like fairy tales, but we are expected to grow out of those stories as we mature. I still had a deep love of folklore and myths well into my 20s and that made me feel a little silly and childish. But when I discovered that Charles Perreault (a historian in the 17th Century) believed the stories being shared in the oral tradition were important enough to be written down for posterity, that boosted my spirits. And when I stumbled across the ATU Index (begun in 1910, and continues to be updated annually still to this day), which took fairy tales seriously as anthropological artifacts, I was vindicated even more.

These historical efforts were proof that folk lore, legends, and fairy tales weren't just for children.

This short article is a MUST-READ for anyone who wants to have their love for storytelling rekindled and get pumped up to talk about fairy tales. It’s all about hope and courage. I especially appreciated the excerpt from Katherine Rundell when she talks about “the hope that is sharper than teeth”

As I studied more and more obscure stories from around the world, I soon had a list of my top 4 favorites that I came back to:

Katie Crackernuts

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

Beauty and the Beast

The Myth of the Selkie

The middle two I have owned a few printed copies of. They are quite common and have many retellings/variations. But Katie Crackernuts was a story I could only read online; I had never seen it in print.

There are actually similarities between parts of all three stories, which is probably why I love them so much.

I know you asked for ‘cute’ ones, but I don’t know if these really are that adorable. They all have happy endings for the heroines. Does that count? LOL

Katie Crackernuts (collected by Andrew Lange, first printed 1889)

This is a Scottish story about two sisters, one plain but clever (Katie) and one beautiful but simple (Anne). Despite this difference, they loved and supported one another as much as two sisters could. Through no fault of her own, Anne was cursed (you guessed it, by an evil stepmother) with the head of a sheep (or sometimes a donkey or goat, depending on the version) because the stepmother was jealous of her beauty. Katie put a hood over Anne to disguise her and left the house together, never to return.

They eventually came to the kingdom where there was a sick prince. His parents offered rich rewards for anyone who could heal his mysterious disease. Katie knew there had to be a reason normal medicine wasn’t working. She thought perhaps he was under a curse, too. Yep, he was going out at night in a trance to go under a hill to dance with fairies. So she watched and listened and investigated until she discovered the cure and how to administer it. Turns out the way to lift her sister’s curse was under that hill, as well!

She out-smarted the fairies, collected the items from them, and followed the instructions precisely. He grew well and discovered he loved her during all their time together while she was patiently investigating. When she used the cure on her sister, Anne’s sheep head turned back into a human one and the prince’s brother fell in love with her on the spot (of course he did). It was a lovely double-wedding.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses (collected by the Brothers Grimm, first printed 1812)

This is about twelve sisters who are constantly tired and ruining their expensive shoes every night, and no one can find out why. The king has offered rich rewards and even marriage to the most beautiful of his daughters, but any man who steps up to the challenge either dies, fails the task, or is never seen again. Until one clever man (who has been watching this happen over and over) decides to try solving the mystery. The eldest sister (the most intelligent and haughty of the siblings) tries to stop him each time, but he outsmarts her as he follows the princesses into a fairy forest where they dance all night until their shoes fall apart and they drop from exhaustion.

Just like Katie in the story before, he is observant and waits until he has all the information and proof he needs to confront the princesses. He convinces the king, who is angry that his daughters were escaping every night. The man explains they were under a spell that compelled them to sneak out. The king offers him the most beautiful daughter (who is also the youngest and the most silly), but the man opts to marry the eldest because she was the only one who came close to matching wits.

Katie Crackernuts has much in common with The Twelve Dancing Princesses.

Both have very strict rules for entering into the world of fairies, and the “wasting sickness” that comes upon a human who spends too much time in that world (which is also a metaphor for other maladies that were rampant during those centuries, such as tuberculosis). I enjoy that theme of “Good luck if you’re beautiful because your looks won’t save you. You need to be wise, patient, and clever in this world.”

Beauty and the Beast

This was one of my favorites long before Disney made their movie. Almost everyone knows how the story goes, so I won’t make this long post even longer by summarizing it here. The bravery and selflessness of the heroine was very inspiring to me, and I loved the idea of being surrounded by talking furniture and not a single human! I was a very introverted kid. And I guess I loved the idea of a sad prince in an unloveable disguise who needed to feel loved.

Another thing I think is neat about that story is there is an actual author: Gabrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve, published the story in 1740. Most folklore and fairy tales have a shared origin and no single creator. Not so for Beauty and the Beast. This one has a bonafide author, which makes it unique. Not only that, but the author was a woman!

What Beauty and the Beast has in common with Katie Crackernuts is charity, mercy, humility, and selflessness.

The heroine not only saves herself, but she saves those who are entrusted to her. Who needs a prince, right?? Katie didn’t have to leave home to take care of her cursed sister, but she did. She didn’t have to agree to help the sick prince, but she did. Belle didn’t have to sacrifice herself in her father’s place in that unreasonable pact, but she did. She could have been disagreeable, rude, and throwing herself a pity party the entire time she was captive in the Beast’s castle, but instead she did her best to keep her spirits up and not hate her captor. (Readers: don’t come at me with the whole “Stockholm Syndrome” comment trying to be witty; it’s an old joke that was never funny in the first place.) Katie also tried hard to make the best of an awful situation, and she was never resentful to Anne or put her on a guilt trip. I was inspired by the important values and virtues portrayed by these two heroines.

The Legend of the Selkie

You asked for ‘cute’ stories, but this last one is anything but cute. The Celtic legend of the Selkie is heartbreaking, and there is hardly ever a happy ending. I heard briefly about it as a kid, but never found a published story to read. The oral tradition of the tale goes back to the 13th Century, but it didn’t make it into many books. Then the movie The Secret of Roan Inish came out in 1995. I was 15 at the time and didn’t have my driver’s license yet, so I begged a family member to bring me to the only theater in the entire state that was showing this independent film, over an hour away. It was magical. I bought the DVD as soon as it was available. It was the only thing I could find at that time (remember, the internet wasn’t really used for entertainment in 1995 like it is now) that displayed the Selkie myth, which is:

There are some special seals in the sea who can shed their seal-skin and turn themselves into human women. They are beautiful, quiet, and hard-working. And therefore they are much sought-after as wives by the lonely fishermen of the islands. The legend says that if you find a Selkie in her human form and take her seal-skin away from her, she is yours for the rest of your life. You can imagine the life of servitude that awaits the poor woman! She is usually desperate to turn the house inside out looking for her seal skin and return to the sea, or if she doesn’t find it she will murder her husband.

Fascinating!

Oof, okay. That post went on really long. Sorry. When I start to talk about fairy tales and folklore, I have a difficult time keeping it short, lol. And I didn't even get into the Greek myths! Yikes.

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peakyblindersxx · 4 years ago

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whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

#john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #john shelby fluff #john shelby series #john shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fluff #peaky blinder fanfic #john shelby smut #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader

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mistersshelby · 4 years ago

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removing the dagger

hi yes it's me, yes i know i haven't updated my masterlist in ages, yes i am aware i have an unfinished wip that i promised to post months ago, i'm just a stupid fanfic writer begging her audience to love her!!!! anyway!!! i have two other things in the works that I'm hoping to finish, but in the mean time this is one shot i based on ivy and tolerate it from taylor swift's album evermore. i hope you like it, i missed y'all!!! send me asks pls i'm lonely

pairing: tommy x reader

masterlist

questions, comments, concerns

“We’ll be entertaining guests this weekend.”

You looked up from your breakfast plate in shock, wondering if your husband was addressing you or someone else. You gave the room a quick scan. No, it was indeed just you. “Alright.” You said hesitantly, “Who will be attending?”

He hadn’t looked up at you from his newspaper at the other end of the table. He felt miles away rather than a meter or two. “Just some business partners and their wives.” He finally looks up. You’re so unused to his direct attention you have to stop yourself from flinching away from his gaze, “You should go into town. Buy yourself a new dress.” Just as quickly as his gaze had met yours, he drops it again.

You draw your attention back to your breakfast plate, spreading butter on a scone before biting into it. “Do you need anything while I’m out, dear?”

“No thank you, love.”

The endearments don’t mean anything, this you know. It’s a formality. You’re husband and wife, and you speak to each other that way, but the words are empty. The truth is, day in and day out you watch him, you know all his routines. You hand him items before he can reach for them. Buy the book you know he’d been wanting for ages, but never got around to go to the store for. Refill the liquor cabinet before he can get to the bottom of a vodka bottle. And still. And still, he doesn’t see you. Not really. You leave the breakfast table to get ready to go into town and you know he won’t notice you’ve left until the maid clears your plate.

***

Another evening filled with pleasantries, pretty gowns, fake smiles. Men complimenting you and informing your husband how lucky he is to have such a beautiful, young wife. Your husband simply thanks them and doesn’t even look your way.

It’s not until he walks into the room that you feel you’ve been startled from sleep. He looks the same as you remember. There may be a few more lines around his eyes and mouth, but otherwise the same. Except now he looks like a walking weapon. That’s what the war had turned him into. You had kept tabs on him once you found out he had made it home from France, alive. The things you heard, the things this man that you used to love so dearly had done, well you suppose it didn’t surprise you. Tommy had always been too clever for his own good, almost too resilient. It made sense that France would have chewed him up and spit him out, kept most of the love and kindness he possessed.

But then his eyes find yours through the crowd and when he locks on you the same love and desire that had always been there, burns there now. No, the war couldn’t burn out his love for you. Your abandonment and consequential marriage that he read about in the paper couldn’t burn it out either. He’d love you until his dying day. And then he’s in front of you and words fail you, “Thomas,” You finally manage, “You… look well.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, “It’s good to see you.” And he ever so gently lifts your hand and presses his lips to your skin. A chill runs through you and it takes all your effort not to snatch your hand away. His knowing grin tells you he’s noted his effect on you.

“And who are you?” Your husband interjects, noticing the affront that was greeting you before himself.

“Thomas, this is my husband, Benjamin.”

Tommy looks your husband up and down for longer than is polite before reaching his hand out to meet your husband’s, “A pleasure.” He murmurs.

“How do you know my wife, mister…”

“Shelby.” Tommy fills in for him, and then glances at you, “Your wife and I were--”

“Childhood friends.” You interject before he can finish and force a smile.

Tommy stares at you for a prolonged second before turning back to your husband, “Yes. Childhood friends.”

“Oh, wonderful!” Benjamin exclaimed, “You grew up in Oxford then, yeah?”

The confusion is evident on Tommy’s face so you jump in quickly, “Yeah! Both grew up in Oxford, isn’t that right, Tommy?”

Tommy looks annoyed at having to lie, but nods anyway, “That’s right.” He speaks with Benjamin for a few moments about business and you find yourself staring at him, the freckles on his cheeks you used to kiss so tenderly. His hair that you used to run fingers through. His eyelashes that used to tickle your skin when he fell asleep. His voice that used to whisper adorations in your ear while other women looked on with jealousy.

“I hope you won’t mind if I steal your wife for a dance, sir, I’d love to catch up with her for a moment.”

Benjamin gave him a disarming smile, a smile you hadn’t seen since he had courted you and it made your heart ache. He lifted his glass to Tommy, “She’s all yours.”

You managed a small smile as Tommy took your hand and led you to the center of the room. You could feel tears burning the back of your eyes at the familiarity of his touch. No one had touched you like this, well, since Tommy left Small Heath.

“Oxford, eh?” Tommy started, “What else did you have to lie about to become such an esteemed lady?”

You frowned, “I did what I had to do. It appears you did the same.”

He shakes his head, “I never lied about where I came from out of shame to achieve the lifestyle I wanted.” His voice is bitter, and you won’t lie, it stings coming from the only person who had made you feel like you were worth something.

“I’m not ashamed of Small Heath.”

“Everything about who you’ve married, to what you’re wearing, to the house you live in, to the lies about me suggest otherwise.”

“I didn’t lie about you because I was ashamed, Benjamin gets… jealous. It was just easier not to explain.”

“Does Benjamin have reason to be jealous?”

You looked into those blue eyes you had adored so long ago and saw the same longing and lust sitting there. Your lips part and you pause, trying to find the right words to convey that you were sorry for how things ended. That you wished things could have been different. But he senses your hesitation and his eyes go cold, those familiar walls that you had worked for years to tear down are back up in full force. You suppose it’s what you deserve.

“Forget it. Stupid question.”

“Tommy--”

“No, don’t. You’re obviously very happy here.”

And you realized as he said it that he was so incredibly wrong about that, “I’m not.” The words tumbled out before you could stop them. Your eyes begin to water before you can stop them, “I’ve never been more unhappy in my life.”

Concern floods Tommy features, “Is he hurting you?”

You almost laugh, “No, no he’s never raised a hand to me. He’s never even raised his voice to me. He just… rarely remembers that I exist is all.”

“Well he’s an idiot then.” The corner of your mouth turned up just a bit at his crassness. “Can’t imagine having you walk around this house day in and day out looking like that and not giving you the attention you deserve.”

You have to bite down hard on your lip to keep the tears lodged in your throat at bay, “Do you have a smoke?”

He frowns, “I can’t imagine Benjamin allows a lady like you to smoke.”

“Tommy, please, he won’t even know we’re gone.” Sure enough, when you look over he’s immersed in conversation, “Come outside with me.” You tug on his arm before he can respond, weaving through guests who didn’t give you a second glance.

Once outside, you gulp in the cold air and lean against the stone wall behind you. Tommy joins a few seconds later, “Are you alright?” He asks as he reaches into his pocket and takes out his cigarettes.

“Can you tell me about Birmingham? What’s it like now?”

While you smoked, he talked about his family and the business. How Polly was doing, and Finn who you could still remember being born. Arthur and his anger problems. John and his relentless jokes. And when your cigarette was nothing more than a useless stub, you noticed there were silent tears rolling down your cheeks.

Tommy glanced at you and then dropped his own cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath his shoe, “Why are you here if it makes you so sad?”

The reason you had married Benjamin was because you had promised yourself you would never have to go hungry again. You would never have to worry about someone breaking in and slitting your throat for a loaf of bread. You wouldn’t have to stare at dresses in shops anymore knowing you would never have enough money for it. You never wanted any children you bore to feel that pain either. So you had done what you thought was needed to obtain this lifestyle and now that you were here, it didn’t feel the way you expected it to.

You can’t answer him and instead you look up at the sky and snow starts to fall on your face. “It’s snowing.” You announce to Tommy. He says nothing and you get the feeling he’s annoyed with you. “We had our first kiss in the snow. Do you remember?”

He scoffs and pushes himself off the wall, “I’m not playing your games tonight, I shouldn’t have come here.”

“And why did you come here?” You call after him as he walks away, “Why the fuck did you come, eh? To rub it in my face that I made the wrong decision?”

He turns back to you and he has that cocky smirk on his face, “Listen to that Birmingham accent. Does your husband know his lady’s got such a dirty mouth?”

You don’t know why this is the remark that does it, but you take a sharp intake of breath and your lungs shudder with sobs as the tears pour down your cheeks. The smirk falls from Tommy’s face and he reaches for you, but you pull away. “Love, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“Darling?” Your husband stands in the doorway and both you and Tommy freeze, “What are you doing out here? You’ll catch your death out there in the cold.”

You close your eyes for a moment, schooling your features before you respond, “I’ll be just a minute dear, Mr. Shelby was just leaving. I was seeing him off.” Every trace of the tears was gone from your voice. Tommy would be impressed if it didn’t mean that you had clearly needed to practice seeming happy and upbeat when you were breaking inside.

It’s so easy how quickly he loses interest, Benjamin, and turns back to go inside without another glance. “Why did you come here?” You ask Tommy again.

He sighs, “I had hoped that seeing you happy would give me the closure I needed. Unfortunately, seeing you choose misery over me has only made me feel worse.” He says bitterly. Your face crumples and he steps away from you, “Goodnight, my love.”

When he’s gone you wish to scream and cry and you hate him for coming here and shattering the glass walls you had built around yourself to tell you that you were fine. You were fine with your finery and your loneliness and the gin you drink when Benjamin isn’t home. How he ignores the smell of it on your breath. His deliberate silence when you know he can feel your cries shake the bed at night. You thought you had packed Tommy Shelby neatly away in the far corner of your mind where you wouldn’t find him again. Wouldn’t remember what it was like to feel loved. To feel alive. But you remember. And now he’s gone again. Just like when he left for France. Just like when you wrote that final letter to him that you were to be married.

And so you walk back into that house of stone. You murmur to Benjamin that you’re tired and you’ll be retiring early. And he just nods, barely hearing you, like he always does. And you settle into bed and stare at the wall as the house goes quiet. And finally the bed shifts with his weight and his breathing settles and he doesn’t reach for you. He never does.

Goodnight, my love.

***

The mud of the road squelches beneath your shoes and you're conscious of the way everyone in Small Heath stares at you, walking around like this, but you’d had no choice. No trace of your old wardrobe before you married Benjamin existed. He hadn’t allowed it. You didn’t want any reminders, anyway. Besides which, you had told Benjamin you were out for lunch with a friend and had dressed appropriately. When you swing open the door to the Garrison, you don’t see any Shelbys, but everyone stares at you nonetheless. You imagine word will travel fast to Tommy that you’re here.

Sure enough, as you finished your first drink, you heard the doors swing open and a hush fell over the occupants of the bar. You didn’t look up when he sat next to you. “What are you doing in my bar?” He said, his voice was demanding and cold.

“Having a drink.” You said as the bartender slid you another.

Tommy took it from your hand and dumped it on the floor, “Don’t give her another one.” He said to the bartender. “I asked you what the hell you’re doing here, don’t try my patience.”

“I was drinking that.” You said through clenched teeth.

“You’re drunk, you’ve obviously been drinking all day, surely Benjamin darling noticed that before he let you leave the house, eh?”

You turned to him, eyes bloodshot and unfocused, “I came here… Because you never told me… If you remembered our first kiss.”

He stares at you for a few moments, “You came all the way to Small Heath to ask me if I remember our first kiss?”

You blink, “Why are you just repeating what I just told you?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, “Yes, I remember it. Now will you go home?”

“I am home.”

“This isn’t your home anymore, you made sure of that.”

“How is what I did any fucking different from what you did? I married him to fuckin’ survive. That’s it. And you would’ve done the same in my place.” While you were talking you kept trying to get the bartender’s attention, but he was purposely ignoring you now, “Will you please tell your bartender to get me a drink?”

He leans in close to your ear and you still, “You could have married me. I could have given you everything if you had just waited.”

You turn your head to look at him and your lips are just inches from his, “I didn’t think you would come back, Tommy. So many men were dying every day, I didn’t think you would come back and I was running out of time to find someone else to marry. I’m sorry.” You don’t know if it’s the alcohol that makes you brave, but you lean into him just a little bit and he doesn’t move away. So you close the distance between you.

The kiss is quick, and you pull away to gage his reaction. But his eyes only dart from yours back down to your mouth before his fingers graze your chin and gently pull you to him again. You can’t believe how alive it makes you feel to be kissed, really kissed, by someone who wants you.

“You’re drunk.” Tommy says finally, pulling away.

“So what?”

“So you wouldn’t be cheating on your husband if you weren’t drunk.”

You snort, “I would do just about anything to feel the way you made me feel again.”

He shakes his head at you, “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. So, what? You’re just going to have an affair with me and I’m supposed to be satisfied with that?”

“What do you suppose we do instead?”

“Leave him and marry me.”

He’s so sincere, and for a moment you allow yourself to think that you could. “You know I can’t do that.” You say quietly.

He nods and lowers his head, “Then I’m not sure how I can help you, Mrs. Davies.”

His use of your married name feels like a blow, “I know you feel the same as I do when we kiss, isn’t it worth it just for that?”

“I don’t do well with sharing.” He practically snarled in your face.

“I’m his in name alone. You own me, body, soul, and spirit, Tommy. You always have.”

Suddenly, he straightens as if he’s just now realized where he is. “Come with me.” He says quickly, sharply. You practically run after him and when you get outside, you see his horse. “Come on, I’ll help you up.”

“Where are you taking me?”

He rolls his eyes, “Can you ever just listen to me for once?” And without asking permission, lifted you up by your waist enough to get you on the saddle. When he comes up after you, you hesitate before wrapping your arms around his waist to keep yourself steady. It reminds you so vividly of just a few years earlier, you allow yourself to sink into the memories. It doesn’t take you long to realize he’s taking you to your old haunt. An abandoned house in the middle of the woods, overgrown with ivy.

“Why are we here?” As he helps you down from the horse, your faces nearly collide as your feet touch the ground. He seems to want to kiss you, but holds back.

“I waited here for you for days when I got back.” He says, walking away from you and towards the house. “When you stopped sending me letters, I had a feeling you had changed your mind, but I still hoped.”

You blink, “You never got my letter?”

He turns back to you, now leaning against a half demolished wall, “Did you send me a letter to tell me you were marrying that wanker? I honestly thought it was kinder that you hadn’t.”

You swallowed, “Yes, I sent you a letter.”

“And what did it say?”

You sigh, suddenly you’re frustrated with him, “That was years ago, Tommy, can’t we move on?”

He laughs, but it’s cold, “For you it was years ago, I’ve been living in this hell you left me in ever since. I didn’t get to move on to palaces and dinner parties and expensive champagne. I came back here and started another war, all in the hopes that one day I could provide for you and you would come home. And all the while you’ve been sleeping in another man’s bed.”

You look down at your feet. You understand the anger and the resentment he holds. After all, you knew when you sent that letter if he survived the war he would never forgive you. But here he was, some sort of dark, fallen angel, standing in front of you. Spreading over you again like ivy, the same way he had when you were younger. “I know I can’t take back the pain I’ve caused,” He was already scoffing and turning away from you, “But I’m here now. And so are you. And all I know is that being with you again makes me feel something and I haven’t felt anything since I sent out that letter.”

“So just like that, you think everything’s fixed?” He storms up to you, trapping you against the wall behind you. “You think you can just pop back in, say you’re sorry, and everything’s all better?”

You roll your eyes, unimpressed with his display of anger, “Of course not, Tommy, I’m not stupid.” You reach your hand out and delicately trail your fingers down his chest, “I just think… That it’d be a shame to deny each other what we both want.”

Without warning his hand clamps around your wrist and slams it against the wall behind you. It doesn’t hurt, really, but he did catch you off guard so you wince anyway.

He leaned forward until his lips brushed your ear, “Who said you could touch me without explicit permission?”

A chill went down your spine at the sound of his voice and you find yourself smirking, “Don’t need permission to touch what belongs to me.” You still know exactly what to say to piss him off.

He shoves you against the wall again, “You think this is fuckin’ funny, eh?” He leans down to look you eye to eye, “Am I laughing?” He pushes himself off the wall and turns away from you, “Always a fuckin’ joke to you.”

“Tommy, I thought… I’m sorry, I thought we were teasing--”

He rounds on you, “I don’t fuckin’ joke when it comes to you, do you understand? None of this is funny to me. It may be all a big joke to you with your fancy house and your upper class husband, but I lost the one thing in my life that had value and I don’t think it’s fuckin’ funny for you to shit all over the marriage that you thought was good enough to abandon me for in the first place!”

It’s all so absurd you nearly snort, “Do you think this is fun for me? Do you think I like living with the knowledge that I gave up the love of my life for someone who is rarely home, and when he is home doesn’t even spare me a second glance? My husband hasn’t kissed me in six months.”

“And so now you think you can have both?”

Tears shine in your eyes as you gaze up at him, “Can’t I?”

You can see the internal battle going on behind his eyes, caught between wanting you and not being able to truly have you. You knew he would give in to you, though, and maybe you felt a little guilty about that but you couldn’t afford to let your mind go there. You just needed someone to touch you, someone to really, truly desire you.

And Tommy gave in. He pushed you against the wall again, his mouth finding your mouth in a lust-filled frenzy. You moan in equal parts surprise and delight as his hands roam your body, pulling you up until your legs wrap around his waist, back firmly pressed to the wall.

You might pay for this sinful offense against your marriage one day, but today you will simply relish the way Tommy tastes.

***

“You’re quiet this morning.” Benjamin notes a week later during breakfast. “Actually, now that I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I heard you say a word. Is everything alright, darling?”

You look up from your plate where you had been pushing your egg around aimlessly and force a smile, “Everything is perfect, darling, why shouldn’t it be?”

He watches you closely for a moment, miles away on the opposite end of the dining table. You don’t believe he’s watched you like this since courting you. Then, in a flash, the moment is broken and he returns to his paper, “We should have dinner, just you and I. I have that business trip coming up and I’d like to spend some time with you before I go.”

You try not to narrow your eyes too deliberately at him. A proper lady never thinks too hard about her husband’s motives, she just acts delighted to be considered. But this was unlike him and you would find out why. “That would be lovely, dear.”

***

Your arm rests delicately on Benjamin’s as he takes you inside the restaurant he had made reservations in. He was going on and on about the lobster and how you should get one too and what drink to pair it with and it was all so fucking boring your eyelids grew heavy with sleep. You hadn’t seen Tommy since that day at the abandoned house.

Afterwards, he had taken you on the horse until you were a mile away from the house and insisted on being dropped there.

“I can take you further, he won’t see me.”

“It’s alright, Tommy. I like the walk.”

He had hopped off his horse with you and cradled your face in his hands, kissing you goodbye, “I’m still upset with you.” He said and kissed you again, harder. He bit down on your bottom lip hard enough to make you yelp, “This doesn’t change anything.”

But it changed everything, hadn’t it? For you, at least. You understood Tommy’s anger and resistance though. Maybe this would be the only taste of him he’d ever allow you again while you rotted away in that mansion of stone. “I’m sorry.” Was all you could manage, your foreheads still pressed together, before lightly pushing yourself off him and walking down the road without looking back.

Eventually, you heard his horse walk away and you did your best not to cry.

“Darling?” Benjamin’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. The two of you now sit at a small table in the corner. You’re buttering a roll absently, you couldn’t remember picking up the bread. “Darling, are you alright? I’ve been asking you to pass the butter.”

“Yes,” You said, reaching across the table with the butter dish in hand, “I’m sorry, my mind ran away from me.”

“And what were you thinking about?” He asks, taking the butter from you.

You blink, shocked that he would ask you such a thing, “Sorry?”

“What’s got your mind so occupied that I can’t seem to keep your attention?” He smiles when he says it and you realize he’s… teasing you.

“Oh, it’s nothing darling, I was just thinking about a dress I wanted to buy. I’m sorry that I wasn’t listening to you.”

He sighs greatly and for a moment you’re scared. Somehow he knows. He must know, otherwise-- “I realize that I haven’t been the best husband as of late. I don’t know what you spend your days doing, what you like, what you don’t like. I don’t kiss you in the morning or the evening when I come home from work--”

You’re shaking your head, “Benjamin--”

“You’ve been the perfect wife. Taking care of the house and entertaining guests, going out to the shop when I need something even if I haven’t asked. And I’ve ignored you. Aren’t you angry with me?”

Your eyes water and you sit back in your chair, looking down at your lap. Taking a breath you look back up at him, “You’re my husband.” You shrug, “I do what I must even if I don’t get anything in return.”

He hesitantly covers your hand with his own, “I’ll be better. I promise.” He sits back, “That friend that you went to lunch with the other day, what was her name?”

The fear returns all over again as you lightly dab at your eyes, “Martha, she’s a friend from Oxford.” The lie comes easily, too easily.

“Is she married?” Before you can answer, his eyes light up, “Oh! She must be that gentleman’s wife, the one who was at the party last week. Shelby, I believe his name was.”

Slowly, you nod, “Yes, that’s right. Martha’s husband is Thomas.”

“You should invite them for dinner, after my trip!”

Oh, fuck. “Oh, Benjamin, that’s so sweet of you dear, but you don’t have to--”

“I do.” He covers his hand with yours again, “I want to learn more about you. Your friends. What better way to do that than get to know the people you grew up with?”

You force a smile, “That sounds lovely.”

He smiles back, “It’s settled then! You iron out the details while I’m away and then just let me know which evening, alright, dear?”

“Of course.” You say, still forcing that smile. How the fuck were you going to get out of this one?

***

“Are you out of your mind?” You had summoned Tommy yet again by drinking at the Garrison and he had stormed in here ready to toss you over his shoulder and kick you out himself. But you had managed to get him to share a drink with you and you told him your new predicament.

“Well, yes, but that’s hardly the point.” He looks so annoyed with you, you almost laugh, “Please, Tommy. I’ll never bother you again.”

He snorts, “Yeah, that’ll be the day.” He knocks back the rest of his whiskey and then pushes the glass to the bartender, signaling for another, “This is really what you want?”

You bite your lip, “He seems sincere. Like he really wants to try.”

“But do you love him? Do you love him the way you love me?”

No. There would never be a love for you like Tommy. You look down at your hands. Either way you answer, Tommy will be hurt. But at least this way he could go on thinking that you’re happy. That you don’t need him. Maybe this way he’d fall in love with somebody else. The thought sent daggers through your heart, but you knew you had no one to blame for that but yourself. He should be happy, he deserved that. “Yes.” You lied.

His eyes shuttered and he looked away from you, “Alright. I’ll help you, then.”

You sigh in relief, “Thank you.”

“Now get the hell out of my bar.”

You manage a small smile and nod, sneaking out without another word.

***

The door buzzed and you nearly smiled, “That’ll be the guests, darling.” You moved behind Benjamin, squeezing his shoulder as you passed, “I’ll get it.”

When you opened the door and saw Tommy standing there with a tall, beautiful woman, you couldn’t deny the hurt that rushed through you. You had asked him to bring someone, you reminded yourself, you had told him he needed to bring a fake wife.

You step aside to let them through, “It’s good to see you, Tommy. Martha. Come in.”

“Your home is so lovely,” The woman said. You weren’t sure if you just felt like she was staring daggers at you or if she was. How much did this woman know of you and Tommy? Just from the way she looked at Tommy, you could tell she had feelings for him. He had probably fucked her at some point. You ignore the painful tightening of your stomach at the thought. Tommy, for his part, seemed bored by her.

“Thank you.” You gestured for the maid to take their coats and you couldn’t help the way your breath caught as Tommy took his off. Then his hat. And his gloves. Those hands and those rings and-- You looked from his left hand to hers. They were wearing wedding rings. You supposed it shouldn’t have surprised you, they were supposed to be married. But the sight painfully stole all the breath from your lungs. You wondered if this was how Tommy felt when he saw you. You turned away from it and guided them into the drawing room, immediately going to get a drink while Benjamin bored them with talk of business.

You didn’t expect for it to hurt so much, seeing him with someone else. Even if they were just fucking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe as you stumbled into the kitchen. The kitchen staff ignored you as you braced your hands on a table, looking down at it and trying to catch your breath. They were used to you having breakdowns here. The staff liked you because you treated them like people when Benjamin wasn’t around. When he was on his trips, you’d invite them all to eat with you in the dining room and they were some of the most fun dinners you’d had since marrying Benjamin. So they let you cry in here and didn’t speak a word of it.

When the kitchen doors open abruptly, you stand immediately, expecting Benjamin, but it’s Tommy who stands there instead. “What are you doing back here?” You asked with annoyance.

“Why are you crying?” He asks, and you hate the concern that floods his face.

“You shouldn’t be back here, Benjamin might come looking for me--”

“I told him I would go look for you, he seems quite charmed by Lizzie, he won’t come looking.”

“So her name’s Lizzie then? She’s lovely.”

He’s quiet a moment, “So you’re sulking in here because I brought another woman here, something you asked me to do.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“We should go back out there,” You begin to walk around him, but his hand clasps on your upper arm and pulls you back.

“Does it hurt? Knowing I’m fucking someone else?” He whispers in your ear.

Tears sting your eyes and you realize he’s done this on purpose. He wanted to hurt you. You look up into those ice blue eyes to show him yours that are shining with tears, “Are you happy now?” You wrenched your arm from his grasp and left the kitchen, putting on a smiling face as you left.

Tommy watches you closely for most of the evening and you think that normally Benjamin might notice his predatory gaze, but Tommy was right. He’s enamored by Lizzie. They share touches and longing glances, even when you place your arm on top of Benjamin’s to signal that he’s yours. He just pats your hand and draws his arm out from under yours all without looking away from Lizzie. So when Tommy excuses himself for a smoke, you follow him out, not even bothering to excuse yourself.

“Ol’ Benjamin is really giving it his best shot with you, eh?” Tommy says immediately when you walk outside. You don’t say anything, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of your anger. “Can’t say I blame him,” He continues, “Lizzie’s a great fuck.”

You close your eyes, “I know what you’re doing.”

“And what am I doing, love?” He makes the endearment sound condescending and you hate him for that.

“You’re trying to get me angry so I’ll admit that I lied to you about loving Benjamin.”

“I saw the way you looked at the wedding rings when I took off my gloves,” He inhales on the cigarette in his hand, “I don’t need you to say it.”

“Then what, you’re just rubbing it in because you’re a sadistic fuck?”

“So you are angry, then.”

“Yes!” You threw up your hands in exasperation, “Yes, I’m fucking angry that I thought maybe Benjamin did love me only to see him touch and look at that woman in there more than he’s touched me in over a year! And I’m fucking angry that you are also fucking her! I’m jealous, I’m fucking burning with how jealous I am that she gets to touch you and I don’t! Is that what you want to hear, you fucking prick?!”

God help you, he has a cool smile on his lips, “Yes, sweetheart. That’s what I wanted to hear. Would you like to go make your husband terribly jealous?” He reaches a hand out to you.

You’re frowning at him and you shake your head, “I don’t understand.”

“Sure you do, I’m helping you get what you want.”

“But why?”

He lowers his hand, “Do you want the truth or the lie?”

You swallow, “Truth.”

He brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek, “Are you sure? It’ll break your heart.” He says softly.

You smile sadly and bring his hand to your chest, right above your heart. Your eyes glitter with unshed tears as you look at him, “Already broken.”

You almost miss his sharp intake of breath at your admission. You suppose he’s happy, happy that you were in so much pain after shattering his heart. “So?” You say.

“The truth is that,” He swallows, “The only thing that hurts me more than you not being mine is seeing you so fuckin’ sad. So let me help you.” You look up at him with those big sad eyes that practically scream at him how much you love him. He can’t stand to look another second, “Come on.” He offers you his hand again.

You place your small hand in his and he brings you back inside, not even dropping your hand as you pass your husband and Lizzie who are looking even cozier than when you left. He brings you to the drawing room in view of the dining room and finally drops your hand to go to the gramophone.

You feel Benjamin’s eyes on your back, but you don’t turn, focusing on Tommy.

A smile breaks out on his face, “I knew you’d have it.”

He holds up a record that the two of you used to listen to so often, you had had to replace the record a couple years back. A small smile forms on your lips, “Tommy, are you sure?”

When the two of you were together, you had taken a dance class together, mostly as a joke, but then you surprised yourselves when you had so much fun with it. Soon, you were choreographing dances together and Tommy was spinning you around that abandoned house. It seemed lifetimes ago and you couldn’t believe that the man who went to France and came back ready to kill any man standing in his way would still know or want to dance with you like when you were barely adults. But he’s beaming at you now, hand extended and the song is starting.

Biting your lip to hide your smile, you curtsy to him before taking his hand and he did a slight bow in response. And then he’s whisking you around the room. You can tell he hasn’t done this in a while and neither had you, but as the song picks up you lock eyes with him. You hadn’t seen him this happy since before the war. The sight sends such a thrill through you, you laugh, and suddenly you’re both in sync.

The weight of both Benjamin’s and Lizzie’s stares nearly break you, “It’s just me and you,” Tommy whispers, noticing how the light had dimmed from you just a little, “Focus on me.” And you do, losing yourself in the music and Tommy’s touch. Tommy dips you, your head falling back and upside down, you can see Benjamin and Lizzie, their eyes on you just like you thought. Tommy pulls you back up and you nearly crash into his chest as the song ends. He clutches your hand to him and your foreheads nearly touch as you both breathe hard.

There’s footsteps behind you and you turn to look to Benjamin, a smile still on your face, and his hand collides with your cheek. There’s only silence for a few seconds and it takes you all of those seconds to realize that Benjamin has hit you and before you’ve reached that conclusion, Tommy’s fist is already connecting with Benjamin’s jaw.

“Stop, stop.” You reach for Tommy to pull him off your husband, “Tommy, that’s enough!”

He had only punched Benjamin twice before you were able to pull him off and then he’s looking at you, “Are you alright?” There’s such concern in his eyes, he even brings his hands up to your face, eyes darting back and forth to assess the damage.

But your husband is still here so you push him away, “I’m fine, you should go.”

He’s looking at you like you’re crazy, “I won’t leave you with him.” He says quietly enough that you’re sure you’re the only one who heard him.

“Yes you will.” You look at him with cold, calculated calm. Your husband is still lying on the floor with stupid Lizzie coddling him, “You both should go.” You repeat.

Tommy is still staring at you and Lizzie has risen from where she was crouching next to your husband, placing a hand on Tommy’s arm, “Thomas, let’s go.”

You hate the familiarity of the touch, you’re able to tell she’s done it several times before. “Listen to your wife.” You say bitterly and that ice in his eyes is back. He simply backs away from you, Lizzie pulling him out the door.

“You humiliate me.” Benjamin says, now sitting upright and dabbing at blood at the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief. It gives you sick satisfaction that Tommy had made him bleed.

“You humiliate yourself.” You say coldly.

“You danced with him like… Like you were some whore.”

You flinch at the insult, “I told you I knew him from Oxford, we took ballroom together. We were simply reminiscing.”

“You think me an imbecile,” He chuckles, “I saw the way you looked at each other. You’ve never once looked at me like that.”

Now you laugh and the sound makes him flinch, “Benjamin, when we met I looked at you like the sun and the moon set on your command, do not insinuate otherwise.” Your voice shakes with anger, “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to touch and talk to me the way you talked to Tommy's wife all goddamn night. That’s why I danced with him. I wanted to make you jealous, I didn’t think you’d hit me.”

He’s shaking his head, “That doesn’t change the fact that you once bedded that man and then brought him into my house.”

You stare at him blankly, “If I recall correctly, you were the one who invited him here. And I daresay, Benjamin, with the way you were with his wife I have no doubt what you do on those business trips. I will not be made the villain when all I’ve done is begged for your love from day one.” He looks away from you at that and you relish how you’ve made him submit to you after being submissive for so long, “I’m going to bed, you’re welcome to wallow here in your weakness if you’d like.”

***

Tommy drives in silence with Lizzie next to him, quietly fuming. He has half a mind to turn around and drag you from that house himself, but he knew you’d never forgive him for that. “Was a bit daft to dance with her like that in front of her husband, don’t you think, Tom?”

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, the only indication of his agitation, “Was a bit daft to flirt with her husband in front of her for three straight hours, don’t you think, Lizzie?”

“He advanced on me--”

“No,” Tommy’s shaking his head, “No, don’t give me that bullshit. You knew what she meant to me and you went in there to purposely hurt her. Well congratu-fucking-lations Lizzie, you won.”

“As if you didn’t enjoy seeing her hurting after she left you.”

“Don’t talk about things you don’t know.” He said dangerously.

“Fine, Tommy,” She says, slumping in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest, “Let her destroy you again, went so well for you the first time.”

He doesn’t respond as he knows there is some truth to what Lizzie is saying. He would let you destroy him again, he would give you his last breath if that was what you wanted.

***

When you wake the next morning, Benjamin is gone. The maid told you he left in the early hours of the morning and handed you a note.

I know what he is and I know what you are. Don’t be here when I return.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Who had told him? How had he figured it out?

The answer was obvious. It had to have been fucking Thomas, trying to force your hand after you refused to leave with him. You crumpled the note and ran back upstairs to get dressed. You figured you had a few days until Benjamin came home, maybe you could still sort it out. The first order of business was going to yell at Tommy.

***

When he sees you walking down the streets of Small Heath looking murderous, he wonders what he’s done. Maybe this is a response to the previous night, but you hadn’t seemed homicidal when he left you.

“What the fuck did you tell him?” You greeted him by shoving him against the nearest building. He raised his arms in bored surrender, not wanting to cause a scene, but you didn’t seem to care about that, “Did you turn around and come back and tell him everything? Do you think I’ll run off with you now that I have nowhere to go?” Tears run down your cheeks now and he frowns in concern, “Well I won’t. I’m fucking done with you, Thomas Shelby. I don’t care if I have to beg on the streets--”

“What are you talking about?” He interjects finally. You look him over, eyes darting over his face and you can see there’s genuine confusion there. He didn’t do this.

Rubbing at your eyes, you sit on the nearest surface, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, “He knows who you are. Which means he knows who I am. He’s kicking me out.”

He gently puts a hand on your elbow, “Come inside. Please.”

For once, you let yourself be guided. He brings you inside the building that says Shelby Company Limited on the outside and then suddenly the rest of the Shelby family is staring at you.

“Tommy,” Polly says softly, staring at you with a hand on her heart, “You told us she was dead.”

You blink and then turn to Tommy who won’t look at any of you, “She was.”

Tommy Shelby had told his whole family that you were dead rather than go through the humiliation of explaining that you had left your old life behind in favor of another. Left him behind. You supposed, in a way, you had died.

Polly’s gaze drifts to your hand where you’re fiddling with your wedding ring. “Oh, Tommy. Tell me you haven’t killed someone’s husband.”

“Not yet,” The words send a jolt through you, “Stay here.” He orders, squeezing your shoulder.

“Tommy, wait,” He turns back to you, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to kill him before he ruins you and then you’ll have your pick of any lord you’d like. Maybe one of them will actually love you this time. Isn’t that what you want?”

It feels like a dig though you’re not sure he meant it to be one, “No.”

Sensing the energy in the room, the rest of Tommy’s family dispersed, leaving the two of you alone.

“What d’ya mean ‘no’?” There’s a bit of anger in his voice, “You don’t want to be with me, you don’t want to be a lady anymore, are you gonna live on the streets?”

“For your information, Thomas, if I wanted I could make a living for myself,” He scoffs. “But you’re wrong.”

“About what?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, eyes glittering with tears, “I do want to be with you.” After finally uttering the words, you brace yourself for rejection.

He stares at you and then rubs a hand over his face. He begins shaking his head, “You don’t mean that.”

You walk to him and reach your hands up to frame his face. You expect him to move away from your touch, but he doesn’t. When you gently stroke his face with your thumbs he closes his eyes and you truly understand how you had broken this man in front of you, “I do,” You say again, “And I’m sorry for ever making you think you didn’t deserve me.”

Finally, he does push your hands away and walks to the window on the far side of the room, his back to you, “I still want to kill him.” He says softly.

You frown, “Tommy--”

“If you weren’t in that room last night I would have kept punching and kicking and gouging his eyes out with my bare hands for daring to put a hand on you.” His voice is dangerously low, “Is that still the kind of man that you want?” He finishes bitterly.

He would kill a man for you. The thought sends a thrill through you. “I’ve spent the last few years of my life with a man who didn’t even attempt to learn my favorite type of jam, Tommy, do you understand?”

“It’s strawberry.”

You raise your eyebrows, “What?”

He finally turns to you, “Your favorite jam, it’s strawberry. I used to wait in line for hours in the summer when strawberries were in season to get some for you.” He smiles a bit to himself at the memory, “It was always worth it for the smile and kiss on the cheek you gave me.”

Tears finally cascade down your cheeks as you recall the memory, “I’d forgotten about that.” You say softly, “Tommy, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

“You told me minutes ago that you wouldn’t run off with me, that you were done--”

“I know,” You say, “That’s when I thought you had betrayed me, that you wanted to force me to be with you--”

“I would never force you to be with me.” He says fiercely, “I would never force this life, this fuckin’ hell, on anyone.”

You shake your head, “I know what you’ve become since you came home. Knowing all of that, knowing what you’re truly capable of, I still choose you. I know you’re my only chance of real happiness.”

He stares at you for another few moments, “So you’ll marry me, then? The whole bit?”

You smile, “I imagined this whole bit to be much more romantic, but yes, I’ll marry you, Thomas.”

“You can’t change your mind once Benjamin comes back, it’s me or you figure out your own way.”

“I’m not choosing you because of the money. I’ve had the money, all it did was make me miserable.”

He steps to you and runs a thumb over your lips, “You’re really mine then, eh?”

“You know,” Familiar mischief lights up your eyes, “Benjamin won’t be back for a few days… What do you say we drink his expensive wine straight from the bottle and fuck on every surface we can.”

Tommy finally cracks a smile, “God, I fuckin’ love you.”

You laugh and go up on your toes to kiss him. He immediately dips his head to you, breathing you in deep as he kisses you. His tongue slides along your lip until you open to him, awarding him with a soft moan. His tongue strokes against yours and you feel hot need for him pooling between your thighs when he pulls away.

He relishes the pout on your face at his absence, “Save it for Benjamin’s bed, princess.” He smirks and tugs you out of the building, lifting you onto your horse. And as he rides, your arms wrapped around his waist, you only wish you had had the wisdom to choose Tommy Shelby first.

#mine #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #tommy shelby fic #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby one shot #tommy shelby x reader

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gloomybabygirl · 4 years ago

Text

{angel pt. 1} Poe Dameron x reader

A/N: My very first fic! I’m in the process of an outline for a series but I wanted to get myself warmed up with some drabbles hehe. Pls be gentile, I am a baby writer!

Warnings: language?, mutual pining, shirtless Poe

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You need to sleep in Poe’s quarters when yours floods. Basically a super fluffy little drabble.

Update: read part 2 here :)

It had already been a long day when you got to the door to your quarters.

You had been awake for an ungodly amount of time, having spent the last 22 hours in command with General Organa, strategising and planning for the next few missions. You had no problem fighting off fatigue for the greater good of the galaxy though. And you would never dream of telling the General you needed a break. Working for the Resistance was an honor in itself, but working in command to help keep everyone on the front lines safe? You had no idea how you got so lucky to be trusted with such an important position.

And even luckier to have Poe Dameron, the greatest pilot in the galaxy, as your best friend.

Okay, so Poe may have been a damn good pilot. You would never tell him that to his face though. Being one of the most charismatic people on base, Poe had made friends with you in your first week working for the Resistance. You hadn’t exactly intended to develop totally unrealistic feelings for him (during a war no less) but how could you not fall for Poe Dameron? When he wasn’t teasing you or making you cry with laughter, he was the sweetest, most caring, passionate man you’d ever met.

Maybe you were in love with him, whatever.

In the course of the 22 hours you were working in the Command Center, Poe had brought you food, caf, and BB-8 to keep you going. He had a lot of respect for anyone working in command to keep him and his fellow pilots safe. He’d bring anyone coffee, wouldn’t he? Of course, because Poe is the sweetest. The sweetest man that you could not have feelings for.

General Organa finally let you go when you had been staring at your data pad for several minutes without retaining any information. BB-8 rolled along side you down the hall, beeping impatiently when you were walking to your quarters too slowly for his liking. When you finally dragged yourself to your door, you could practically taste sleep. Until your door slid open and you felt something cold and wet hit your foot.

Water? Why was there water on your floor?

Oh, it was no big deal, just that your refresher had flooded and now everything you owned was drenched or floating aimlessly around the room. The sweet idea of sleep drifted away the further you examined the state of this disaster.

Finally, a maintenance droid came and fixed the leak in your refresher. But that didn’t help the fact that your quarters were unlivable, and there was no way in hell you were taking care of the water issue tonight. BB-8 nudged you, beeping, and forced you to look down at him.

“He’s probably already asleep. I don’t want to bother him.”

More insistent beeping and nudging from the little droid.

“Okay! Okay, but if he’s mad we woke him, I’m blaming you.” Happy beeps.

BB-8 was right. You really had no where else to sleep and no one else that would be okay with you sleeping in their quarters. You had slept in Poe’s room before, and he in yours, after a long night of talking or playing Sabacc. Nothing ever happened, in fact there was always one party sleeping on the floor. You hoped Poe wouldn’t be too mad at you waking him up once you explained the situation. You knocked, softly as to not wake him too harshly.

The door swung open, and your heart melted. A very sleepy, disoriented, shirtless Poe was standing in the door looking down at you with his eyes barely open and his dark, curly hair sticking up in all directions.

“Y/N? What time is it? What are you doing here?” Maker, that groggy, low voice made your knees buckle.

“I’m so sorry to wake you but my refresher flooded and I have no where to sleep. BB-8 suggested I crash here.”

“Oh shit, yeah of course, come in. Good call BB, we wouldn’t want Y/N to be homeless for the night.” He wasn’t mad. Thank the Maker. “I’ll just go grab an extra pillow and sleep on the floor. Do you need anything?” He asked.

“I’m fine, really. And I can sleep on the floor. You were already sleeping comfortably in your bed I’m sure.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, beautiful angels don’t sleep on the floor.” What did he just call you? Poe never talked to you like that. Sure, he flirted, this is Poe Dameron we’re talking about. But you had just assumed that was how he was with everyone. He had probably only said that because the poor man was still half asleep and didn’t know what was coming out of this mouth. He left his quarters to find more bedding, which would probably be stolen from Finn’s room.

While he was gone you realized you didn’t have anything to change into, and you seriously didn’t want to sleep in your work clothes, especially since you had been wearing them for 24 hours. Poe wouldn’t miss one of his shirts, would he? Apparently not, since the flyboy didn’t seem to enjoy wearing them to bed.

You undressed quickly, in case he came back, and grabbed one of his t-shirts off the floor. It must have been the one he was wearing that day, but you didn’t care in your sleepy state. When you slipped it on, you were immediately greeted by the smell of aftershave, coffee, and leather. Poe.

You were practically dead on your feet at this point, so you crawled into his bed, not bothering to wait for Poe’s return to start drifting off to sleep. Once under his covers, you were overwhelmed with his scent and with the feeling of happiness and security. You’d never been more comfortable sleeping in Resistance-issued sheets. It wasn’t long before you felt your eyelids closing and felt yourself slowly slipping into a long overdue sleep. In fact, you didn’t hear the door open and close just minutes later, already fast asleep in Poe’s bed.

“Finn gave me some extra bedding so I’ll be fine on the floor. Well, “gave” is a strong word. I sorta-” He cut himself off when he spotted a sweet angel sleeping in his bed. He laughed to himself, thinking you must really have been tired since he was only gone for a few minutes. Seeing you asleep in his bed made him weak at the knees.

He made himself a makeshift bed on the floor before looking down and realizing there was too much of his skin exposed for having his best friend in the room. He went to pick up the shirt he had discarded earlier in the night, only to find that it wasn’t there anymore. He was sure he’d thrown it on the floor, just as he did every night. You mumbled something in your sleep, catching his attention. And that was when he saw it.

The angel sleeping in his bed was also wearing his shirt.

His heart collapsed into a heap on the floor. Of course Poe knew it was silly to be in love with his best friend who obviously didn’t reciprocate those feelings. But damn it if seeing you laying there didn’t make him fall more in love with you. He was suddenly filled with the overpowering urge to kiss you on the forehead. That wasn’t weird, right? And you were asleep, so he could grant himself one kiss...right?

Against his better judgment Poe leaned down over you and gave you a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead. And then on the top of your head. And then on the tip of your nose.

When he pulled away, two sleepy eyes were looking back at him. His heart stopped.

You had to go for the nose kiss, didn’t you Dameron?

“Come into bed.”

What?

Had you really just asked him to come into bed with you? He watched you wiggle over to the other side, giving him room to slip in beside you, which he did, despite the alarms going off in his head.

He decided to stay to his side of the bed and keep his hands to himself. He fought every urge to pull you to him and give you more kisses across your beautiful (and did he mention angelic?) face.

He lay there quietly for a while thinking about anything besides you. He was so hesitant to let his feelings grow for a friend he was so close to. And he definitely knew it was stupid to be in love during a war, when he could go off on a mission one day and not come home. He couldn’t do that to you. What he could do was turn on his side to watch you sleep. That couldn’t hurt.

Poe thought he imagined it when the angel suddenly moved closer to him in her sleep, nuzzling into the crook in his neck. He had stopped breathing. Maybe he could allow himself to hold you in his arms. That would absolutely become something he would regret in the light of day, but that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was Poe Dameron loved you, and wanted to sleep with you in his arms, if only for one night.

He slowly wrapped his strong arms around your sleeping form, pulling you closer to him and entangling his legs with yours. He dared to give you a few more sweet kisses on the top of your head before allowing himself to fall asleep with you in his arms, thoughts of how wonderful it would be if you loved him too flitting through his head.

#poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #star wars imagine #poe dameron fic #poe x reader

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futurebicon · 4 years ago

Note

Pls can we have something written on when Remus hears Sirius singing for the first time? Maybe when he’s in the shower or something?

There was a tie between Sweet Creature by Harry Styles and Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis so I did both. Also I just really like Sign of the Times by Harry Style and Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson (Also I went off the Glee version of the song because I’ve been binge watching)

This kind of spiraled into something more then I thought it would be but I still kind of like how it turned out.

Very very very brief mention of child abuse and depression.

“Baby” Remus called out as he walked into the house, closing the door softly as he pulled off his shoes. He heard no response from his boyfriend but could hear soft music playing from one of the spare rooms.

“And oh we started, two hearts in one home” someone sang as a guitar played along.

“It’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn, I know, oh” the voice continues, the notes flowing perfectly together.

“Sweet Creature, sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home” Remus stood in shock listening to his boyfriends voice. Hitting high notes like it was the easiest thing in the world. He walked down the hallway, his footsteps quiet.

He leaned against the door frame of the spare room, the walls holding guitars and records Remus had just thought were decoration or stuff that Sirius had haphazardly bought for fun. He didn’t know that he actually played them.

Sirius was turned away from the entryway, unable to see his boyfriend staring at him in awe.

“Sweet Creature, sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home. You’ll bring me home.” He strummed out the last few notes.

“Didn’t know you could sing” Remus revealed himself. Sirius jumped and spun around.

When he saw his boyfriend he blushed. “Not really”

“Not really? Sirius that was amazing.” Remus exclaimed.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders and blushed harder.

“Baby. That really was amazing.”

Sirius smiled slightly. “Thanks”

“When’d you learn how to play?” He asked walking over and sitting on the leather couch.

“When I was younger. One of the only things were we’re allowed to do other then school and hockey.” Sirius confessed.

“Is that why you don’t sing much?”

Sirius shook his head. “No, it was one of the only things I enjoyed in that house. I don’t really know why I don’t sing a lot.”

“Well can you please play more often for me? You’re voice is beautiful” Remus stood up and kissed his boyfriend. Sirius smiled and nodded.

“Play another” Remus told him “Please?”

“Fine” Sirius groaned sarcastically. Picking up his tan guitar, adjusting himself on the stoll he was sitting on as he placed his guitar in the correct position.

He pulled the guitar pick out from between his teeth, where he had put it when he pulled it out of the strings. He strummed his guitar to make sure all the notes sounded right.

“Wise men say, only fools rush in” he sang as he strummed the tune. Remus smiled as he recognized the age old love song.

“But I can't help falling in love with you”

Remus stayed silent as he listened to the love of his life singing. His eyes closed as he let the sound of his voice surround him.

“Take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you. For I can't help falling in love with you”

Remus opened his eyes and stood up. “I don’t think you understand how much I love you” he said against Sirius’s lips.

***

“James? Are you actually being serious right now?” Finn asked. The guys were all over at the Cubs apartment as the girls had a ‘girls night’. The older kids for some reason trusted with the younger ones.

“No, I’m not kidding. I didn’t know that you had to take the wrapper off the cupcake or muffin until I was 14.”

“Wait how often did you have cupcakes and muffins?”

“I ate a muffin every morning for 8 years”

“How are you even alive?” Dumo exclaimed.

“It’s just paper!”

Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friends stupidity. Stretching to reach behind himself to pick up the guitar that the Cubs had for decoration and to make them look cool.

Remus looked at him and smiled, Sirius sat up and moved to lean against Remus’s side, bending his knees with his feet on the couch.

Sirius tuned the awfully out of tune instrument with quickly. Rolling his eyes at the mistreatment and the fact that they didn’t have any picks.

The guys didn’t hear as he started strumming the guitar, too busy still trying to figure out how James mind worked the way it did.

He hummed until the chorus, too caught up in the familiar peace of the vibration the strings sent through his fingers. Forgetting everyone else in the room.

“Just stop your crying it’s a sign of the times.”

Everyone stopped talking as they heard the voice.

“We gotta get away from here We gotta get away from here. Just stop your crying it’ll be alright They told me that the end is near. We gotta get away from here” He sang out, his fingers gliding across the strings.

Everyone’s had looks of shock while Remus smiled and enjoyed the singing he had grown to love even more.

“We never learn we’ve been here before. Why are we always stuck and running from the bullets? The bullets” he rose his voice high.

“We gotta get away. We got to get away. We got to get away. We got to get away. We got to get away . We got to, we got to, away. We got to, we got to, away. We got to, we got to, away.”

Everyone’s jaws continued to drop lower and lower and he hit higher and higher notes. Holding the last note out for a lot more than a few seconds.

He continued to just strum random but beautiful notes out of the guitar before everyone was snapped out of their shock. James slow clapping.

Sirius turned red as he realized what had happened. He put the guitar on the grounded and moved back so he was on Remus’s lap, hiding his face in his neck.

“Wh- how. Damn you can sing” Kasey stuttered.

“At least that’s guitar was put to good use eventually” Logan elbowed both his boyfriends, who he was constantly making fun of for having the never used instrument.

“Play something else.” Leo said.

“No”

***

“I’m bored” James shouted 20 minutes into the 4 hour bus ride.

“Me too” people shouted their agreement.

“Sirius sing” Leo called out.

“Absolutely not” Sirius scuffed from his place on Remus’s lap, his legs sprawled on the empty seat beside him.

“Can he even sing?” Talker asked.

“Yes” everyone who had heard him responded.

“No, I can’t”

“And play guitar” James added.

“Stop it” Sirius kicked James’s seat.

“Oh if only we had one here” Kasey sighed dramatically. He stood on his seat and opened the overhead compartment. “Oh wait” he pulled out a whole ass guitar.

“What the actual hell Blizzard?” Sirius exclaimed.

“Sing” he forced him to take the guitar.

“I’m not singing.”

“Then play” Dumo told him, everyone had gathered in the back of the bus, sitting in seats around him.

“No”

“Please, baby” Remus asked him, kissing his lips.

Everyone smirked, knowing Sirius can’t say no to Remus.

Sirius huffed out a breath, bring the guitar up into his arms. “At least tell me you brought a pick.”

Dumo pulled one out of his pocket and handed him one.

“This is mine from home!” He looked at Remus. “And my guitar!” He inspected the instrument closer.

“I like hearing you play” he shrugged, kissing his lips again. Sirius rolled his eyes.

Sirius turned back around and began playing a simple melody.

He, again, got lost in the feeling that took him away. Away from his worries of hockey, of the future. Away from his parents screeches and painful punishments. Away from his own mind that told him he would never be good enough, didn’t deserve anyone’s love.

The simple strum turned into the sound of a song and lyrics where leaving his mouth as everything finished dissolving away.

He started playing the song Remus had been listening to occasionally for the past week, Sirius able to know the cords when he hears them. His fingers danced with the quick cords.

“As he came into the window was a sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment. He left the bloodstains on the carpet”

Everyone who had heard him sing before smirked at the wide eyes of everyone who hadn’t.

“Annie, are you okay? So, Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay?”

Everyone sat there, listening to his voice rising and falling, his fingers crossing the strings so fast they could barley see them. Dancing across them as easily as he skates, like it was second nature.

“You've been hit by, you been hit by, a smooth criminal. So they came into the outway. It was Sunday, what a black day. Mouth to mouth resuscitation. Sounding heartbeats, intimidation” he sang the familiar lyrics.

Everyone got lost in the sound of the song echoing throughout the bus.

“I don’t know” his voice grew high quickly, holding the note out.

His fingers flying faster and faster along with his voice, taking quick breaths between the verses.

“There's a sign at the window. That he struck you, a crescendo Annie. He came into your apartment. Left the bloodstains on the carpet. Then you ran into the bedroom. You were struck down. It was your doom, Annie. Annie are you okay? Will you tell us that you're okay? There's a sign at the window . That he struck you, a crescendo Annie. He came into your apartment. Left the bloodstains on the carpet. Then you ran into the bedroom. You were struck down. It was your doom, Annie. You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by. A smooth criminal.”

Everyone exploded in applause.

“Man, if I could sing like that I would never stop singing” Talker said.

“Okay I thought they were lying but that was way better then I could ever think it would be” Kris shook his head with a smile.

“Why haven’t you played that before?” Remus asked him.

Sirius shrugged. “You’ve been listening to it this week so I played it”

“Wait you learned how to play that in a week.” James asked.

“No, I listened to the song”

“Hold on, hold on. You listened to the song and then you knew how to play it?” Dumo asked, pointing at Sirius as he kneeled against the back of the chair.

“Yeah”

“WHAT” Leo shouted.

“How is that even possible?” People shouted out different questions.

“Play another one” Olli called out.

Sirius shook his head but picked up his guitar again.

By the end of the 4 hour bus ride Sirius was sure he wouldn’t have a voice until next week.

They all tested the ability they were convinced was impossible. Making him listen to a song a few times an then play it.

He played it perfectly everytime, smirking at the looks on their faces.

A few day’s after Sirius got his voice back Dumo just so happened to have a get together that night.

He was shoved into a chair as soon as he got in the house.

“What’s this surprise we all just had to see?” Lily rolled her eyes.

“Go” Dumo said. Giving him a guitar they had bought because his other one needed new strings from over use.

Sirius shook his head.

“What’s going on?” Nat asked.

Sirius quickly launched into Smooth Criminal again as soon as the guitar was in his hands. Skipping the beginning cords and starting on the lyrics. This tome singing all the high notes.

By the end of the song the girls and kids had the same exact looks their husbands, fathers, and boyfriends had a week before.

I know nothing about actually playing music but I can’t do anything if I don’t have music playing.

@lumosinlove

#lumosinlove #sweater weather #oknutzy #coops #sweater weather lumosinlove #asks #send in more #songs #micheal jackson #glee

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ayellowcurtain · 4 years ago

Text

could you pls write Kieu accidentally stumbling upon Fatou’s workplace and them kind of recreating Romeo&Juliet aquarium scene (also would be nice if finally explained her behavior and apologized for ghosting her).

Kieu My is running out of time and options. She knows she made several terrible mistakes not only about Fatou but with her friends too, with Ava, letting Constantin and Ismail say whatever they felt was funny and still be their friend. And she’s trying but Fatou won’t give her half a chance after everything that happened.

They spent a lot of time together the past few weeks, studying and making their presentation but it was always very formal and cold, with no place for small talk, and it wasn’t for the lack of trying on Kieu My’s part. Fatou barely looked at her and Kieu My wanted to leave and cry hiding somewhere where nobody would see. It’s hard to explain what the fuck is wrong with her even for herself, so it’s impossible to explain it to Fatou.

She decided to talk to Ava first, it sounded so much easier right now. The situation presented itself when she was at their place and Zoe was arguing again with Finn over the phone, quickly leaving her lunch behind to go hide in her room to finish the conversation, leaving Kieu My alone with Ava in the kitchen, finishing their lunch, Kieu My more like playing with her food than eating, too worried about whatever is happening between her and Fatou. In between all the mess that is her head, she’s sure she just wants Fatou to like her, to talk to her again.

“I’m sorry.” She blurted out when the silence started to make her more anxious, looking at Ava over her long lashes.

Ava lifted her eyebrows as high as they could go, shrugging a little.

“What?”

“About what happened last year. I was horrible to you, was too happy to be praised by the boys, and the cool kids and I was mean to you when I shouldn’t. So I’m really, really sorry. I know it doesn’t erase the stupid things I did or said, but I think it’s a way to start.”

It wasn’t enough, obviously, and Ava wasn’t impressed with her either, but she felt good saying sorry. It was in the back of her mind for so long, especially now that they’re spending more time together even if they don’t mean to.

“Okay...” She nodded her head, trying to move on with the conversation rather than actually to start any type of relationship between them. Kieu My assumed her behavior had a lot to do with Fatou too, “You know I’m not Fatou, right?”

Kieu My looked at her food getting cold in her plate, feeling her cheeks heat up instantly.

“She hates me, I get it. And I gave her reasons. But this has nothing to do with her, I promise.” Kieu My rests against the back of her chair, looking at Ava for once, trying not to feel too embarrassed or confusing, “You’re so cool, so beautiful. Even if we’re not friends, we are constantly running into each other these days and so I wanted you to know I’m trying to be better and how amazing you are even though I’m sure you don’t need me saying that, but I honestly wish I was as brave as you. I still fuck up, clearly, but...I’m a mess and I get too inside my head sometimes, deciding to keep things to myself instead of using my words, of calling people out when they’re being assholes, disrespecting you.”

“I know someone who can get too inside their heads too so I get it.” Ava presses her lips together, nodding her head and Kieu My has to bite her lip not to ask about what to do about Fatou.

She stops outside the store looking inside, the blue hue painting everything like it’s a huge aquarium with smaller aquariums inside. There are so many things inside, but Kieu My finally finds a human, walking in between the tall shelves, mesmerized by the aquatic beings, smiling to the fishes.

There’s no real excuse for her to be here, especially not this late - Kieu My tried to assume the hour Fatou would be almost free to go home - but she decided against all her insecurities and came anyway.

Just tell her how you feel. About her, about everything, how stupid you are.

Kieu My takes a few steps back, standing in front of a wall instead of a long glass window and she fixes her hair and her coat over her shoulders, taking a deep breathe in and then out before taking a bee line to the door, knowing there’ll be a bell that will reverberate her arrival.

Fatou appears from behind one of the shelves and Kieu My looks at her, holding her own hand, pinching the soft skin of her finger with her thumb and index finger.

“Hi...”

Kieu My’s heart skips a beat and she tries to keep herself calm but the second she manages to whisper “Hi...” back she hears her voice breaking and she curses under her breath.

“How can I help you?”

As she’s there, staring at Fatou, Kieu My wishes she never gave up on drawing. It was her favorite hobby growing up and she stopped when she started worrying too much about looks, about what other would think. Now she thinks about Fatou’s facial features, her face in the shape of a perfectly smooth peach, her high cheek bones, the long lashes, rounded and soft, pink lips. She would do a terrible work at trying to recreate it, but it would give her something physical to put her attention and mental notes on.

Thinking about Fatou is not enough and that’s all she has right now since Fatou is so hurt by what she did when she was drunk and scared.

“Hm, I came to talk to you...” Kieu My decides to walk around the place. Some distance sounds better than having Fatou’s hurt eyes staring at her, quietly asking for her to leave Fatou alone.

She doesn’t get any answer so it’s best to just say what she came to say in hopes it’ll help Fatou understand her a little bit.

“I don’t regret kissing you. Even though thinking about it now, I feel like I jumped you, not giving you much of a choice...so I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention, I was just extremely nervous.”

She stops in front of one of the biggest aquariums and Fatou is on the other side, following her with her curious eyes.

“You were the first girl I’ve ever kissed. And the only one. I had never thought about it before. I mean, I thought about it, but never thought I would actually have the courage to do it.”

Kieu My pinches the skin of the her finger tighter, feeling so dumb and childish for stuttering so much just because she’s thinking and talking about kissing a girl that she has a big crush on.

“I know you know this, how terrible I am with words and how confusing I am...”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Fatou finally says and Kieu My looks at her, the water moving and the blue lights making everything so dreamy and calm. She sounds soft and understanding like always and Kieu My smiles, thinking about their kiss and how happy she was that Fatou didn’t push her away.

“But I want to. I know I was stupid and rude before and so I want to try and explain myself as best as I can.”

“Okay...” Fatou whispers in a playful way and Kieu My continues exploring the store while Fatou stands there, watching.

“Even though it was just one kiss I was overthinking it for days, not sure what your reaction would be. Because you said you didn’t date your friends...”

“And we weren’t friends.”

Kieu My stops behind a shelf filled with fish food and she closes her eyes. Of course Fatou wouldn’t think they were friends. Kieu My mistakenly thought they were while talking and watching scary movies together. And that made everything messy in her head.

“I was having a bunch of stupid...family drama and I held on to the idea of kissing you, like you being the first girl I ever kissed or have feelings for and when we were that close and I was so happy - and drunk - that we were getting to know each other...I just did it and got scared of your reaction.”

She goes around the last aisle and turns on her heels, walking back and forth three times before starting making her way to the front of the store, walking down every hallway again to buy her late night visit more time.

“I was afraid of what you would want to talk about that night, I was afraid that you would tell Nora or Zoe. Not because I’m ashamed, but just because...I’m a mess, Fatou. And I drunkenly kissed you on New Year’s Eve of all nights. I actually thought about doing it at midnight...but that would be way too much, even for me.”

She hears a laughter and she tries to listen to it carefully, in between the fishes swimming, searching for food on the surface and the tiny engines making the water move.

There’s only the big aquarium between them again and Kieu My quietly bends down a little to see Fatou sitting on the counter, probably the same height as Kieu My now with her tall boots...

“I never meant to seem that I didn’t care, that it was just a one night mistake type of thing. People always assume I’m so cool, that I always know what to do or how to say things. But that’s the complete opposite. I’m terrible at expressing myself. And I’m so afraid of being judged.”

“You used a lot of words tonight already. Can’t believe you would be bad with them.” Kieu My stops next to the aquarium, watching Fatou with no water filter in between them, just the blue light that makes Fatou look like a dream.

“I had a lot of days to think about what I wanted to say. And you were mad at me and I wanted to fix it.”

Fatou nods her head, swinging her legs in the air, one sock a dark pink and the other one a burnt orange, matching her white jeans.

“You’re forgiven.” She smiles shyly, her soft cheeks getting more rounded with her lips going up a little bit. Kieu My exhales and smiles at her too, hoping she feels the same Kieu My does when she smiles.

“Thank you...”

“No problem.”

Kieu My looks down at her boots. Everything she planned to say is more or less out, but she wants another chance, she wants to spend more time with Fatou...

“Ismail told me about the turtle you guys are taking care of...”

Fatou nods her head, a lot more excited to be talking about the child she shares with Ismail of all people.

“Maike, yes.”

“...Can I meet them?” She tries, putting her hands inside her pockets so Fatou doesn’t see her shaky hands.

“You want to meet Maike?” She asks so surprised and excited and Kieu My lifts her eyebrows, nodding her head.

“Yeah, if you’ll let me.”

“You can meet Maike if you want...I’m hiding them in my house though...”

Kieu My thinks about going to Fatou’s house, exploring her bedroom, learning more about her by just watching how she decorates her private space, spending more time with her always sounds like the best thing ever.

“I would love to meet them.”

“Good! We can go after school tomorrow...” Fatou sort of asks, assuming Kieu My will say no, probably.

“Yeah...hm, of course, I’m so excited!”

They both laugh the awkwardness off and Kieu My moves her weight from one feet to the other, offering to help Fatou close the store tonight.

#fatou jallow #kieu my vu #fatou x kieu my

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mnemehoshiko · 5 years ago

Text

STAR WARS INTO DARKNESS

A (Salt) Review of Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker.

Warning 1: All opinions are mine and no one (sadly) paid me for them.

Warning 2: I’m going to strive to be charitable as possible. Keyword, STRIVE.

It finally came. The conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, a nine film series starting with Shmi Skywalker and her lineage.

When we left the The Last Jedi; Finn was tenderly checking up on Rose who endangered her life to save him. Steadily finding his place in the Resistance and deciding that it was a cause worth fighting for. Ben Solo, also known to the galaxy as Kylo Ren, has just killed his life long abuser but failed to relinquish himself from the ties of the past. Rey was dealing with detaching herself from the idea that she needed to Be Someone in Order to Do Something only to realise that she, a nobody, was good enough. As Leia Organa said, we have all we need.

Cool right?

Yeah, just forget that movie. Actually, just forget like any development that occurred over the last two movies. Furthermore, turn your brain off. No, really please remove any kind of higher cognitive function and any knowledge of Star Wars beyond “pew, pew, pew” and “wOOO”. That’s literally the only way to truly enjoy this film.

This movie is a quest. A long big-budget multi-step fetch quest. Fetch quests are a common part of RPGs and can be enjoyable! Add to the narrative! Interactive. A movie that is nothing but fetch quest after fetch quest to the point that honestly, the first two thirds of the movie could have been dropped because it was so distressingly nonsensical.

Loose summary;

Ben Solo is on a planet. Being very very lorge and murking people left and right. Why? Because reasons. That this planet happens to be Mustafar and that he’s killing Vader Cultists evidently is not considered relevant. Even though Ben Solo introduction in TFA, which JJ wrote (with the assistance of Kasdan and Arndt), is basically as Vader’s #1 fanboy. But who cares about narrative information when you have sweet sweet red lighting and like a flight scene.

Anyway, Ben heads to Exegol because evidently that’s where the fancy schmancy totally Not A Holocron is directing him towards. In which he approaches some goth-esque temple with vats of Snokes. Yes, You Heard Correctly, Vats of Snokes. And Palpatine. Who’s just hanging on a crane. Just chillin’ and gleefully tells Ben Solo that he’s been every voice in his head since birth. So learning your abuser is still alive is totally dope. But hey, PALPATINE IS BACK! REMEMBER PALPATINE? ISN’T THAT COOL, yells JJ Terrio desperately trying to like Hype You Up And Remind You Of The Star Wars of Their Childhood.

Finn and Poe “I Have Literally No Purpose To Any of This Narrative and JJ Terrio is About to Fuck Over My Backstory” Dameron are getting data from a contact. For some reason a glorified dick-shaped Alien is there. Consequently, this is the same alien that replaced Rose Tico on merchandise. A reasonable person with minimal brain function would assume it’s because he plays a critical role in the plot. Remember what I said about thinking? Stop it. Klaud is there primarily for you to admire that JJ’s tentacle kink is Alive and Well and Thus Everything Is True (tm) Star Wars Again.

Rey is floating surrounded by rocks because That’s What Cool Jedi Do. Then she does a training course because after two films we have absolutely no proof that she has any fight training, according to Reddit and like JJ Terrio is trying to get Reddit to go to the Star Wars Prom with them. So, we need a training montage and Rey going to robo-Leia and saying that she will “earn [Leia’s] brother’s saber”. Why would she want to earn a grumpy curmudgeon who fucked over his only nephew and hid from his twin sister for years? Well, JJ Terrio dreamed of earning Luke’s saber and like what is the purpose of writing other than Wish Fulfillment.

Palpatine is back! Why? We don’t know and we don’t even know what he said because evidently it was decided that it belonged in Fortnite...instead of the film. Why? Here’s a lollipop and a pew pew to stop thinking sweetie. Either way he’s on Exegol and Rey saw notes scribbled in the margins that you need a Sith Holocro-- I mean ~Sith Wayfinder~ --because JJ has never seen Star Wars since he saw it in the theaters in 1983-- to get there. Which is on Pasaana.

WHICH IS HAVING SPACE BURNING MAN RIGHT NOW! (which happens every forty two years. Which is how long ago Star Wars Episode 4 Premiered. Remember fans! Isn’t that a Cool Thing To Drop? says JJ Terrio deftly skimming Reddit in order to gain fanbros love and affection and nostalgia boners.) LOOK AT ALL THE ALIENS DOING THE SPACE MACARENA! Because WOO DON’T YOU LOVE PARTY SCENES?

The force bond shows up and you can some how transfer stuff between the bond? Which like in the hands of another writer would be fascinating and engaging. Sadly, this is a JJ Terrio production and nuanced storytelling and dialogue is Fake and Not Star Wars.

Either way, Ben knows that they’re there and they are running from stormtroopers RIGHT INTO LANDO CALRISSIAN,-- remember him? goes JJ Terrio. You remember Lando right?. I do, I go. I’ve seen the movies and you’ve given no reason why Finn and Rey would know who the fuck he is seeing how he’s evidently been living as a hermit In The Same Outfit for over a decade. (BUT REMEMBER HIM, whines J.J. Terrio. Yes, I do. I SAW THE FUCKING OT JJ).

Anyway, more exposition occurs because JJ Terrio has no understanding how visual language works and it detracts from Real Star Wars Things Like - Space Chases - Pew Pew - Witty quips! because Witty quips! Are Important for A Star Wars, says JJ Terrio.

Nevermind that stormtroopers could fly since the Clone Wars and there’s literally no reason as to why Finn would not know this but like that would require you to give him

- a character arc - character growth - dialogue beyond “WOOOOO” and “REYYYYYY” (also side notes; it was depressing as fuck seeing Finn’s growth in TLJ to going beyond being Rey-centric to only spend the entire movie yelling a White Lady’s Name. I GO TO THE THEATRE TO NOT SEE REALITY, JJ.)

JJ Terrio: BUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?? me, who’s been on the Finn is Force Sensitive Train since TFA: AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT AND IMPLIED THAT IT WAS ONLY REASON HE WAS ABLE TO FIGHT THE STORMTROOPER PROGRAMMING??? (i.e. this is really fucking gross eugenics shit pls stop JJ Terrio and like just stop)

*deep breath*

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yeah, Star Wars Into Darkness.

Either way, they find the Subtle Knife a Sith dagger? Along with force healing foreshadowing. But they have a dagger! Which They Can’t Read! But Threepio can! But He Can’t Say It Out Loud Because His Programming Forbids It.

And then the KoR, the galatic boy band, and Ben show up because of course. And they capture Chewie and put him on a transport.

Rey, of course, reaches out to Stop The Transport.

Ben, tries to stop her.

They to a back and forth that is similar to TLJ without any of the emotional build up of TLJ but that’s because JJ Terrio believes Emotions Are Not Star Wars.

And she lets loose LIGHTNING and makes the transport blow up and she believes Chewie is dead. Problem: Chewie isn’t dead. Which means she would be able to sense him in the Force. “But Mneme”, you say, “the Force isn’t like a GPS where you just Sense People.” That’s fair! Except....then...she does...when she’s on the Snow Planet. So like???

Either way, we have a Dagger that We Need to Read That Threepio Can’t Say Out Loud.

A Solution That Uses Braincells: well we know that the Millenium Falcon has three droid brains! So like we could just hook up Threepio to like the Falcon and transmit the codes and get some really great Easter eggs re: the Falcon and like the setup of the ship!

....

JJ Terrio: OR WE COULD GO TO THIS SNOW PLANET me: wha-- JJ Terrio: SNOW PLANET WHERE POE DAMERON RAN SPICE me: did you just make....your Only Latino Character Into A---Drug Runner JJ Terrio: REMEMBER HAN SOLO?? HE’S JUST LIKE HIM!!! me: pls stawp pls, I’m begging you stawp JJ Terrio: ALSO LOOK AT HIM FLIRTING WITH A GIRL SO HE’S LIKE OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT me: bi....people.....exist...like...that is...a thing JJ TERRIO: ALSO WE’LL SHOW U HER EYES TO SHOW THAT SHE’S HUMAN AND NOT A WEIRD ALIEN BECAUSE POE DAMERON IS A RED BLOODED AMERICAN LIKE REDDIT me: pls....stop...why....

anyway, he needs a memory wipe in order for it. Which is a really touching scene....or would have been if it wasn’t immediately retconned because like R2 has backups. So like whoo.

So that’s like *two* instances of fakeout death because like Nothing Is Of Consequence Because Star Wars.

Except Leia dying because fuck moms, say JJ Terrio. Moms are Not Star Wars. The Reddit bros have now started to return their text messages.

More busy stuff happens. Hux dies. I wasn’t able to thoroughly enjoy it because by this point I had A Headache from all the Pew Pew and Wooooo~~.

Ben tells Rey that like ~her power is Palpatines power because like How Else Can Rey Be Powerful.” Does this make any sense? Not at all but like Don’t Think Too Hard.

He also finally takes off his stupid helmet that was glued together by ~Sith Alchemy~ that they bought from Space!Michaels.

Rey is vaguely disraught but like She Finally Has A Purpose and the Reddit Bros are Appeased.

More shit happens. Does it matter? Not really.

They meet Jannah! She’s cool and has the exact same backstory as Finn. Because in Star Wars There Are Only (2) Backstories for black characters. They line up the dagger that is old as fuck with the death star wreckage. Which lines up exactly. Evidently erosion is Not A Thing.

Finn and Jannah and basically go, Wow Isn’t It Rad That Because We Have The Force We [Finn, Jannah and her crew] Were Able To Reject Brainwashing and Bounce Because We Have The Force.

Rey runs off and Finn yells “REY!!” at some point but at least he knows his best angles while he does it.

Rey meets Dark!Rey who’s a vision....for five seconds. Because Remember if Girls Go Dark They Have Sinned In The Eyes of The Force. Ben shows up and crushes the Holocron because I refuse to call it that stupid-ass name-- dear fucking lord his hand is big--and WELP I GUESS I HAVE THE ONLY ONE.

They fight because We Need A Light Saber Fight Except This One is So Lackluster.

Then Leia reaches out to do something that will use up all her strength says Maz. How does Maz know this? Idk but she’s played by Lupita N’yongo so at least it sounds Deep And Wise because That’s Why You Cast Black People...to sound deep and wise. =_= **deeper breathe**

Anyway, she reaches out to her son! Her son hears her? I think? Either way it distracts him which lets Rey impale him. Except then she heals him?? And is like, I wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand. which like I’d be fine with if like the movie had like worked for it. But like That Would Involve Actual Conversations Between Characters and We Are Going At 34243242432 pps (parsecs per second) and thus DO NOT HAVE TIme For That.

Ben then has a rehash of the scene from TFA because JJ Terrio is a fucking hack and is unable to create original material and this would have been meaningful if like Any of the Emotions Had Been Earn in The Fucking Film. But hey, I felt .75 of an emotion when Han Solo cradled his cheek so I will accept this. Then he yeets his saber into the ocean. Because. Yeet. Sadly, this movie is Not Over and My Suffering Will Not End

Poe and Finn head back to base with Jannah because I guess that’s what we’re doing? They find out that Leia is dead etc etc etc. The Resistance has a Circle Planning Session for the Final Battle that JJ Terrio lifted straight from ROTJ and the Reddit Bros brought them a corsage for Fanbro Prom. I am reminded that ROTJ was better than this garbage that I Paid Actual Money To Watch. Rey heads to Fish Nun island and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker move even we learned from the Last Movie (TLJ) why that was a Bad Idea but you know WE GET TO SEE LUKE AGAIN IS A GARBAGE WIG BECAUSE REDDIT BROS AMIRITE? We get the most hamfisted performance out of Mark Hamill and I’m just like damn The Last Jedi as a fucking gift and a _Jedi’s weapon is important_ platitude like his dad wasn’t yeeting his saber left and right. But Who Cares About Canon When We Have Pew Pew Pew Pew.

Luke tells her that Yes He And Leia Always Knew She Was A Palpatine which like means - Leia literally did not learn from the Last Time She Obscured Someone’s Parentage and the Fall Out - Actively lied to Rey - Luke actively lied to Rey - jfc this poor girl has been aggressively lied by most of the authority adults in her life??? - HER PARENTS SOLD HER TO PROTECT HER which is such a fucking damning think along with the fact that her parents are idiots and like didn’t think to take her to the new republic and like THERE ARE 23432432 things wrong with this set up but that is a Whole ‘Nother Rant

Also evidently? Leia ended her Jedi Journey (which abbreviated as JJ, coincidence? I THINK NOT.) because she saw her sons demised but evidently....couldn’t sense her son being groomed by Snoke, creation of Palpatine and like this entire movie makes Leia look like an ineffectual idiot?? Like I was really hoping that Leia was going to be able to escape the “Fuck Mom’s” curse of Star Wars BUT I GUESS THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT ~true star wars~

Anyway, evidently Leia gave him her saber which I guess she made but no one decided to show that but instead some freakish CGI (that they swore they wouldn’t do) fight scene because like Leia Obviously Isn’t A Real Force User Unless You Use A Lightsaber. The Reddit Bros Nod Sagely. So Rey decides to go to Exegol.....using the Luke’s X-Wing. The Reddit Bros are weeping tears of joy at this point. The Resistance starts their FINAL ASSAULT! THEY HAVE SPACE HORSES RIDING ON A SHIP BECAUSE DOESN’T THAT LOOK COOL! FINN KIND OF USES THE FORCE. THEY DECIDE TO BLOW UP THE STAR DESTROYERS BECAUSE FUCK CHILD SOLDIERS AMIRITE (rip Finn’s Stormtrooper backstory that JJ constructed that He Couldn’t Even Be Arse To Complete or like Think Of Because Like That Would Be Nuanced Shit but like He Gets to - Jump Over Things! - Run! - Know His Angles - Yell desperately After A White Lady because ahahahahha fuck WOC when there’s white p*ssy on the line AMIRITE?)

Either way they’re in trouble and Poe is dismayed and is like yo i’m sorry we’re doomed. Because...that’s.....what generals do. Give The Fuck Up. BUT DON’T WORRY LANDO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY WHILE THE GALAXY IGNORED LEIA ORGANA’S PLEAS, THEY LISTENED TO LANDO

(Crack theory: He hit up all his exes.)

Rey flies to Exegol to confront Grandpalps. Who never wanted her dead but to become Empress after spending 2.5 movies wanting her dead via puppet!Snoke. Also kudos to JJ Terrio to making a Sith Temple be so fucking boring and lackluster. That Took Skill.\

ANYWAY SHE SEES HER FRIENDS IN TROUBLE MUCH LIKE IN TLJ and in ROTJ but JJ Terrio really really loves his nostalgia and ROTJ was very very very formative evidently. She’s about to Strike Him Down In Anger And Absorb Grandpapa’s essence in order to save her friends but WAIT WHO IS THIS IDIOT RUNNING IN WITH NO FUCKING PLAN Yes, it is Ben Solo channeling his father. As carrying the blaster that Lando gifted to him in Aftermath but like we can only suppose that because who Needs Convos When You Have Pew Pew Pew~ His former Knights show up (who have also never spoken because hahahahah dialogue? Sounds fake. Also moment of Silence of Rian who kept them alive and used Praetorian guards in TLJ instead because he assumed that JJ made them for a meaningful reason because he was Unaware That JJ Was A Fucking Hack)

Anyway, Rey senses him! They do a super cool force bond moment that actually Pays Off and Rey hands off her saber to Ben. Through the force. It’s dope.

#BenSoloChallenge happens.

[In spite of like No Speaking At All, Adam Driver successfully channels the aura of Han Solo in spite of JJ Terrio desperately Insisting That Poe Dameron is Obviously Han Look He Even Ran Spice!!! Look!!]

Eventually they both stand before Palpatine Ready To Throw Down except in stand Palps leeches the lifeforce from them and then yeets Ben into a pit and Rey collapses.

THEN ALL THE JEDI FROM THE MOVIES AND CLONE WARS INCLUDE AHSOKA WHICH MAKES NO SENSE GIVEN CLONE WARS BUT WHAT EVER DON’T YOU FEEL VALIDATED!!! FANS!!! SCREAMS JJ TERRIO

me: no.

Rey pulls a Wonder Woman move because all you need to do to redirect Force Lightning is cross your light sabers. Anyway, that effort kills her (or like maybe not? Says Terrio in multiple interviews because men from Harvard Literally Never Shut Up.)

Ben somehow?? Climbs?? Out of the pit?? Under his own power because The Jedi Still Haven’t Forgiven the Skywalker Line for Anakin. Even though Anakin also reached out to Rey? I’m just assuming the soul of St. Maul of the Pit was yelling angry motivational speeches to get him out of the pit while St. Ventress adding sarcasm commentary comparing Ben and his namesake.

EITHER WAY HE’S OUT OF THE PIT! And is like in agony because Rey is uh in limp ragdoll mode so probably dead? We’re gonna go with dead.

He limps over to her because uh evidently getting yeeted into a pit is Not Good For Ones Health or Limbs.

Ben cradles her in his arms and at that moment I had to Apologize For Everyone I Dragged for Size Kink because Adam Driver is Fucking Large and His Hand is Fucking Huge and I, Mneme, Was Wrong You Are Valid.

*cough* where was I? Ah yes, he’s cradling her in his arms realizing she’s dead and I guess? Channeling the force to heal her. Which it does.

He’s happy! She’s happy!

She says “Ben” breathlessly.

AND THEN SHE SNOGS HIM LIKE THE AWKWARD VIRGINS THAT THEY ARE.

The Force realizes that a Male Skywalker is Getting A Boner and Goes Nope. And he just collapses and fades away at the same time that Leia fades away because ~symmetry~. Was a war going on? Uh maybe but like LETS NOT WORRY ABOUT LOGISTICS BUT INSTEAD CUT TO EWOKS!! WE ALL LOVE EWOKS RIGHT!! Rey flies back to Ajan Kloss. Poe, Finn, and Rey hug because this movie is almost over and they can stop trying to sell a non-existent trio created because JJ didn’t have the balls to let Poe stay dead in TFA.

Commander D’Arcy kisses her wife in the background but no one really notices and it was cut in Singapore but like JJ Terrio are Woke AF Y’ALL but not too woke because else they’ll get dumped by Reddit Bros.

No, we are Sadly Not Done.

LETS GO TO A SAND PLANET. No, it’s not Jakku it’s Tatooine~ DON’T YOU GUYS REMEMBER TATOOINE!! go JJ Terrio.

You mean the planet where Anakin Skywalker was a slave, Luke Skywalker desperately wanted to leave, and Leia Organa was put into that humiliated outfit? Yes. I remember.

REY’S HERE TO BURY LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS HERE!! At the Lars homestead that is somehow intact....in spite of Jawas.

What wha-- why??, you may ask.

Well Luke never got to show Leia his home planet, goes JJ Terrio. Literally anyone who saw ROTJ.....they were on it in then?? JJ Terrio: i can’t see mariah carey dot gif

Rey also shows off her new lightsaber that was evidently crafted from her staff but we were not shown that on screen because like It Was Considered To Emotional for this Film.

Then finally some old woman passes by and is like Who are you? Rey: Rey Old Nosy Lady: Rey who? *Rey stares at the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia looking like her parents* Rey: Rey Skywalker JJ TERRIO: SEEEEE WE DID REY SKYWALKER!!! AREN’T WE COOL me: she took the name of a grumpy old man who rejected her and whom she bounced off with his shit because he was being a dick....OKAY JAN

(ffs they could have let her take the name Organa but like Fuck Women amirite? *DRINKS*)

and yeah that’s it. Kid that was brainwashed as a child was reduced to going WHOOOOO every 5 seconds with no thought regarding his fellow stormtroopers who are still brainwashed.

Kid that was abandoned under the guise of ~love~ and sold to an abusive guardian and struggled and starved for years returns to a planet of sand and yes I know that she is probably going else where but that was a choice they made to have the last shot of her Alone with a Droid staring at the twin suns because JJ Terrio have been doing nothing but spraying nostalgia in my face for just under 2 and a half hours.

Kid who was actively groomed since childhood and only just now released from said clutches but lol can’t atone because he dead now.

Kid who lost her sister to the machine of war is pushed aside because she dared to exist.

and Poe.

The End of the Skywalker Saga y’all.

Bonus: “Uh, Mneme what about Rose?” She got exactly a 76 seconds that she acted her heart out in but evidently seeing a non-submissive Asian woman in Star Wars was too much for people last film so that uh Essentially Cut Her Out. Don’t worry they made sure to give her a quarter of a page in the visual dictionary and the Merry the Hobbit two page spread. So like Don’t Worry The Asian Girl Will Not Hurt You. “Mneme, what as the point of Poe?” Fuck, if I fucking know.

“Uh Mneme, the Only Reason Finn Didn’t Have An Arc Is Because of KYLE RON!!!!”

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

trust me, it really wasn’t.

#tros spoilers #mneme watches: TROS #Star Wars Into Darkness

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alphinias · 5 years ago

Text

I was tagged by @bloodysteel ! Tysm, I am mega bored.

1. Which character are you most excited to learn the endgame of:

Look, we all know my answer is Bellarke. I do care about all of the delinquents to varying degrees (Especially depending on which season we’re talking), but if we’re being real with each other I’d sacrifice the others over a pit of fire for Bellarke’s happiness. Especially after season six. Sue me!!

2. Which character are you most excited to learn the backstory of: Honestly, I want us to focus on the main cast that we have NOW and how we’re going forward. I don’t really care that much for Sheidheda and all, but I know we’re going to get it, sooo. I suppose if I have to choose, I’m the most curious to see what happened with Diyoza, Hope, and Octavia in the anomoly, but eh.

3. One character who deserves a new look: Clarke and Bellamy both really do. First of all, my girl has worn the same jacket for two seasons. WHY have they refused to change their main character’s look? They haven’t kept her in the same thing for this long ever. I would also love to see her hair pulled half back or something, just for some variety. I also think part of the hair pulled back would just be a really cute callback to earlier seasons, but what do I know.

Also, beardless Bellamy. Please. And give the man some new clothes and a HAIRCUT. I want the curls bouncy. In fact, just let Bob style his own hair because he does a better job anyway.

4. Two locations you want to revisit: THE FREAKING DROP SHIP. I don’t know how it would happen and it never will, but it’s where we started and it’s what we deserve.

Also wouldn’t mind a Bellarke scene in that glowy cave we had Belltavia in, but shh.

5. Three brotps you hope get more screentime:

The 100 loves ruining my BROTPS. It really does. But for the end of the show, I’d like some nice, functional:

Clurphy! These two Slytherins are great together. I hated the way everyone but Bellamy treated Clarke in S6, but I want my girl to end the show with more friends than just Bellamy. Please.

Murphamy. Murphy annoyed me last season, but when his brotps are on, they’re on.

So, honestly, hate Raven right now and don’t care all that much for her, but I would love to see some Princess Mechanic in the last season. These OG deliquent relationships DESERVE that for the ending.

Honorable mentions to Bellamy/Miller and Madi/Jordan as well.

6. Who will get the happiest ending:

Who I WANT to get the happiest ending is Bellarke, but I could also really see it being Raven.

7. Which minor or new characters you want to see more of:

Literally the OG delinquents. That’s what we and they deserve for the final season. However, I do like Gabriel and Jordan, and wouldn’t mind seeing more of them. I wouldn’t count Diyoza as minor or new, but I love her, so more of her is always good.

Also, I don’t really care for Russel, but I love JR Bourne, so if they do something interesting with him, I’m down. I still think if they do (Which they obviously are) the Sheidheda thing as a bigger plot line, he needs to be in Russel’s (stolen?) body. JR could play a role like that, and frankly he deserves something more badass than Russel, anyway.

8. Who will eventually snap Jordan out of the funk we see him in, at the end of 6x13:

Bellamy would make a lot of sense, but he seems like he will be pretty engaged with the Octavia storyline. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it will be Clarke or Raven, someone more engaged with the Sanctum storyline. I might have a better answer for this after rewatching S6, though.

9. Who will be the first to tell Bellamy he can’t immediately run into the Anomaly after Octavia:

Obviously Hope, Gabriel, and E/cho, but IF he doesn’t end up doing it immediately, Clarke, y’all. At least, she’s going to be the most insistent about it. She just lost her mom and she’s going to be protective protective protective. Wait and see.

10. To reference Monty’s ‘do better’ mantra:

I would like to see it be someone like Emori, but this line has been repeated so many times, it could be anyone.

11. To say ‘go float yourself’:

I really would love it to be Bellamy. Pls give it to me.

12. Random object or prop you would bring back for Season 7 if you could:

Would love to see something sentimental like Clarke’s dad’s watch or her drawings of Bellamy from Eden, but what we will probably get is the 172nd shot of Lxa’s broken throne .

13. Book One storyline/reference you want to see back for Season 7:

BELLARKE GETTING THAT DRINK. PLS. That would literally be such a nice way to end it.

14. Dead character you would like mentioned:

Wells and Roan. Honestly, you know what, I didn’t like him, but narratively, they owe it to Finn as Clarke’s first love interest to mention him too. It doesn’t make sense to only constantly mention one former love interest and not the other. It’s just stupid.

15. How do you think Hope and Octavia know each other (from season 6):

I just sorta assume they all lived a weird limbo in the anomoly together. Seems like they’ve been working together to try to stop someone, but who knows with the limited info we have.

16. How do you think it all will end?:

Bellarke babies. (Bring my clown mask back).

Tagging: Literally anyone reading this, consider yourself tagged! :) I want to see all your answers!

#bellarke #the 100 #tag game

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tysonrunningfox · 6 years ago

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*cracks knuckles* ok who is the smingrid second child tell me everything (please..... pls....)

I kept trying to answer this all weekend but kept getting distracted but yes, I need to talk about this, because it’s ridiculous. And super long.

So we know that Ingrid is baby crazy, and she was lucky to stumble across a baby and even luckier that her girlfriend and girlfriend’s dad was cool with that, but her baby crazy doesn’t go away, especially when her siblings start having multiple children and like…she wants more.

And then it’s interesting because while Ingrid has no interest in being pregnant or associating with any of the activities required to get pregnant in like 1000AD, upon bringing the topic up with Smitelout it is discovered that she’s not quite of the same opinion. In fact, she’s a Jorgenson, and as the only Jorgenson, it’s kind of weighed on her for her entire life that it’s the end of the line because it was always assumed that she’d get married and change her name and that would be that. But she’s with Ingrid, still very much a Jorgenson, and Finn is great and she loves him and he’s her son, but she was also raised with a very deep and unique sense of family pride and she wouldn’t mind one of her own. In fact, she’d like that, but wasn’t going to risk making Ingrid feel bad about it by bringing it up, but as it comes up organically, it’s good that it’s out there.

So then it gets even more ridiculous, because once Ingrid gets a scent there’s really no chance in deterring her, and this is a unique opportunity because Ingrid has brothers so it’s even possible that the kid could be blood related to them both, which again, loves Finn, not about that, it’s just a thing Ingrid also thought she’d never get to have ever since she realized she was gay and even more after what happened to her.

And Eret III is only Ingrid’s half brother, plus the line of succession is wild enough already and also no one wants Fuse to murder them at the insinuation so he’s out, leaving Rolf and Arvid. Who are both married. But it’s Ingrid and she’s gonna ask anyway. And it’s Smitelout, who is relieved by the instantaneous exemption of Eret, because eww, and who immediately rejects Rolf as an idea too, because Super Eww.

So that leaves Arvid. Who, again, is married. And it’s 1000AD, there are no clinics with weird little rooms full of supposedly stimulating posters. There are no turkey basters. There is one delivery method. And Ingrid, being Ingrid, is going to ask anyway.

And then as for what’s been going on with Arvid and Aurelia, they’ve just had their first kid and it was a tumultuous time full of surprise and unwelcome visits of long lost mothers and the complications that arise from a general incompatibility of the size of the partners. Not a good time for Aurelia in particular. She’s pretty dead set on not doing that again and she feels guilty about it every time she sees Arvid with the feret litter, which is probably coming up on 4 now.

And Ingrid isn’t an idiot, she knows to ask Aurelia first, and they’re pretty tight because when Eret was dealing with all those warlords, Ingrid was pretty exclusively on Aurelia guard detail, given they were the only two without dragons. Aurelia was there shaking her head when Ingrid obtained a baby, she gets that Ingrid has the motherly compulsion Aurelia doubted she herself had for a long time. And maybe it shouldn’t, but it kind of seems like an idea…

Arvid is less convinced, initially, because this is stupid and absurd and shouldn’t his wife like…not want him to do anything like this? But it’s Aurelia and she’s flippant at all the wrong times and probably says something like it never bothered her before that he narrowly avoided procreating with every other girl on Berk their age (which it did bother her, but whatever, this is the time to project wifely guilt away from herself). And Arvid wants more kids, so much, because he’s the fixer who wants to do the big family thing right and it’s for Ingrid and Aurelia is devoted to her solutions past the point of rational and he agrees to talk it out with Smitelout and Ingrid.

Which is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever imagined because Arvid and Ingrid are attempting to have an emotional conversation about him doing her the biggest favor he conceivably could but they’re both these big murder jocks hiding behind their bravado so it probably goes like:

Arvid: “Mostly, I’m just worried Smitelout will fall in love with me”

Ingrid: “really not worried about that”

Arvid: “Aurelia can back me up here–”

Aurelia: “not going to do that”

Ingrid: “Trust me, I could not be less worried”

All the while Ingrid is just hoping and Aurelia is trying to stick to this decision because she doesn’t know what will happen if she stays so averse to having more kids and Smitelout is just…the most embarrassed human on the planet because she had a crush on Arvid for like a decade before she realized the source of her antagonism with Ingrid or the fact that being bi as hell exists. But she can’t be embarrassed in silence, so she’s probably insulting him pretty much non stop and somehow, despite all the stupid concentrated in one room, they come to an agreement.

And so Smitelout and Arvid bang Once. Which is just so deeply hilarious to me on so many levels. Because it’s so awkward. Ingrid and Aurelia are probably chilling in the other room having a drink. It’s super silent. Smitelout doesn’t know what to do when she has to stop being mean because apparently dudes aren’t just constantly armed with the ability to impregnate people, you actually have to be compassionate with them when they’re nervous (being a lesbian is so much easier oh my gods). They both love their wives a lot and that makes it even weirder, because they’re both doing this in roundabout ways for their wives and also their shared desire to make more kids. Smitelout probably thanks him for being tall. They vow not to make eye contact for a decade, probably.

Then, because this is so fucking stupid and Aurelia left all her braincells at home while making all of these decisions, everything blows up. She has to come clean about how guilty she felt but at the same time she doesn’t like the feeling that he was with someone else, however emotion-less and awkward (and hilarious) it was. And they have to actually talk shit through and all that mature stuff, but also, can’t take back the past and it totally worked, Smitelout is totally pregnant.

#festerverse #eret iii #smingrid #arvelia #the hilarity of sperm donation in the middle ages

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dracosollicitus · 6 years ago

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96, 'it was a mistake and I know I can never fix this' hit us with the angst pls

So fun fact, May the Froth Be With You actually originally ended with Poe and Rey breaking up (basically, Poe wasn’t doing well and went in for mandatory hospitalization with Kes’s insistence - he broke up with Rey beforehand though, as he was in a terrible place). This was a scene I deleted from the fic after I re-wrote the ending - part of it just so happens to almost exactly line up with this prompt!

Woot, here we go: (and pls don’t hate me along the way, remember that MTFBWY ends very happily in reality)

Warning for: references to child abuse/violence/cursing/self-loathing/mental health issues (i.e. the warnings from MTFBWY)

Rey bumps into him on the street, almost three weeks After.

He’s walking down the street, arm-in-arm with Kare while Bee trots along at their heels - she’d shown up with her husband after Kes called them during Poe’s hospital stay. She’s gotten him to laugh somehow, a complete miracle, and Poe feels - well, he doesn’t feel okay, but he doesn’t feel awful either. Snap’s waiting for them back at his apartment, probably laden down with enough pizza to feed a small army (Poe isn’t hungry, hasn’t been hungry since before the hospital, his new meds making him queasy and resistant to eating, but he has a feeling Kare’s going to see him eat even if she has to feed him herself). He’s laughing, and Kare loops an arm around his neck, pulling him to kiss him on the cheek affectionately.

Then, he looks up at a strange squeaking noise, and sees Rey Niima. The love of his life, Rey, the one he never said I love you too, the one who got away, the one who he chased away, and every stupid rational reason he had for them not being together vanishes in a puff of smoke in his ridiculous brain.

God, he misses her. He misses her so much. They’re all frozen on the sidewalk, Kare looking nervously between Poe and Rey.

“Rey,” Poe says hoarsely. She looks so beautiful, wearing a pretty dress, her hair up, the necklace he gave her around her neck (and he hates how that makes hope flare in his stomach). Then, he remembers what day it is and groans. She’s going to defend her thesis today. He meant to go. He didn’t think she’d want to see him. Judging by the look on her face, he now knows she really didn’t want to see him.

She nods, neutrality overtaking her expression. “Major.” Rey walks around them, not waiting for an introduction, not stopping to say hi to Bee who had perked up remarkably upon seeing his favorite human; and he turns and stares at her until she disappears into a storefront.

“Is that who I think it was?” Kare asks gently. Poe nods miserably, and Kare leads him towards her car. Poe gets in, and once she starts the ignition, he bursts into horrible, wracking sobs.

Kare doesn’t succeed in calming him down by the time they get to his apartment, Bee sitting on his lap the whole time whining with concern, and Snap doesn’t comment when his wife ushers his sobbing friend through the door, across the apartment, and into his room. He falls asleep to the sound of his friends whisper-fighting in the hallway.

The next day, against all reason, he agrees to Kare’s suggestion that he go and talk to her.

So, he finds himself standing outside the Botanical Sciences building, under the overhang, trying to stay out of the cold, pouring rain. Her office hours let out at 3:00, and it’s 3:05.

Soon enough, she walks through the front doors, wearing a pencil skirt and a pretty blouse, a sweater pulled over her shoulders. Rey freezes when she sees him, and Poe almost immediately regrets agreeing to do this. She must hate him. He hates him.

“Hey,” he clears his throat. “I was uh - in the area, and it started raining, so I thought…maybe you’d want a ride?” It sounds lame even to him.

“I have a ride, thanks,” Rey toys with her lanyard anddoesn’t look at him.

“Okay,” Poe nods. “Okay, but Rey, please, can I justtalk to you?”

“I thought we were done talking,” Rey’s tight-lipped,and he can see the red rimming her eyes. She’s upset, but if she’s this upset,it means she has a reason to be – he hopes it means there’s still a chance,still even the slightest prayer.

“I don’t want to be,” he whispers. The rain poursoutside the awning of the building, and there’s nothing he wants more than topull her in tight to himself. Rey’s staring at him openly now, fear and sadnessand what he thinks, hopes, prays is wistfulness written on her face. He wantsto kiss her. He needs her. He loves her.

God, he never told her.

“Rey,” he starts, but he’s cut off by the sound of acar pulling up to the curb ten feet away. The car doesn’t honk, but Rey quicklyturns her head to look at it.

“That’s my ride,” she laughs nervously. Poe can see aman behind the wheel waving at her, a man that’s certainly not Finn Trooper.

It’s Ben Solo. His world screeches to a halt. Ben Solo’s giving my girlfriend a ride home?That’s my job.

He corrects himself immediately. It isn’t his job, notanymore. Rey Niima isn’t his girlfriend anymore. He made damn sure of that.

“Are you two a thing now?” Poe asks, because fuck he’salways been stupid and can’t get in front of his mouth sometimes.

“I beg your pardon?” Rey’s sharp in a way he’s neverheard her be. He opens his mouth to apologize, but he cuts him off. “That’sreally none of your business, now is it?” She closes her mouth firmly, in anangry line, and walks out into the rain, and Poe’s frozen, watching her leaveagain. Rey’s bristling though, he can see it from where he stands. Sure enough,she spins around to face him, and his heart stutters at the tears in her eyes.

Rey spits, furiously, “You can go on dates withbeautiful women, but I can’t fucking get a ride home from a friend?” She walksforward until she’s in front of him again, and he’s so flustered by herproximity, it takes a second for what she said to sink in.

Date?Poehasn’t been a date since their last one. It was only three weeks ago, God it’s only been three weeks since he waslast whole, since he last held her, of course he hasn’t been on a date.

And then he remembers bumping into Rey on the sidewalkyesterday, remembers Kare hanging on his neck playfully.

“Kare? She’s married, Rey,” He manages to say.

Rey shakes her head against it. “It doesn’t matter. Ifit wasn’t her, it will be someone else. You’ll forget about me, Poe.”

“Never. I could never forget you, Rey.” She’s part ofhis soul now, seared into every molecule of his being.

“I wish you would,” Rey wipes her eyes. “I wish you’dforget me, so I could forget you. Because it hurts, Poe.” It’s killing him,too, he understands, fuck he didn’t think anything could hurt this much, evenafter he’d been so acquainted with so many kinds of pain. “I don’t know whatyou want from me, coming here, what your goal is. You broke my heart, and Ican’t walk around with that forever. Just let it die if you don’t want me, so Ican move on.”

Poe opens his mouth to argue, to beg, to plead, togrovel.

Ben Solo gets out of his car while unfurling anumbrella. The sound breaks their focus, and they turn to look at him.

“Here, let me walk you to the car,” Ben calls out. Hegives Poe a look nothing short of withering, and stalks over to them inseconds. Poe watches, completely dumbfounded as the asshole formerly known asKylo Ren offers his arm to Rey. She takes it and ducks in under his umbrella.“Your carriage awaits, my lady,” he says sarcastically, smirking down at her,and Rey manages a feeble smile back, even though she’s obviously been crying.

Thisis where you lose her, his brain whispers. This is what you did.

“Thanks, Ben.” Rey doesn’t turn to look at Poe whilewalking to Ben’s car.

Ben does turn around, and the look on his face isthunderous. “Leave her alone,” is what Poe thinks he mouths at him.

He stands and watches another man – one that beforetoday he was entirely convinced was more of an asshole than he was – walk awaywith the woman he loves, watches as he opens her door, and waits for her to sitbefore closing it carefully. Ben Solo glares at him one more time beforewalking to his own door. Poe stares at the car as it drives away, and his eyesare trained on the corner it turns for minutes after it leaves his sight.

***

Poe waits until he can’t anymore; so, he waits aboutthree hours. He goes to the apartment Rey shares with Finn and Rose, and hebuzzes the intercom, hand shaking. Bee whines anxiously at his feet, reallyearning his keep as therapy dog today.

“Hello?” It’s Rose. God, he’d been wishing for Finn.

“Hey, Rose,” he says, thumping his head onto the brickwall. “It’s Poe.”

“You got some real fuckin’ nerve coming here,Dameron,” Rose snaps through the buzzer. “I thought I told you to stay the fuckaway.”

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he laughs feebly, rememberingthe vitriolic text he’d gotten the day he and Rey broke up. “Rose, please,please can you tell me if Rey’s okay?”

“Why wouldn’t she be okay?” Rose sounds furious –defensive. “The only person she’s ever slept with shat all over her, didn’ttalk to her for three weeks, and now he’s rubbing his hot new girlfriend in herface. That’s a general recipe for okay-ness, isn’t it?”

Fuck. This again. “That wasn’t my girlfriend,” Poeinsists. This is not the best use of his time, but he can’t help it. He slaps ahand against the wall, feeling it scrape his palm. The pain helps a little bit.“She’s an old buddy from the service. Married to another buddy. But fuck, Rose,I could stand here and say I’m sorry until I’m dead, which I’m more thanwilling to do, but could you please tell me if she’s home safe?”

“Why wouldn’t I be home safe?” Rey Niima’s soft,musical voice comes from a foot behind him. Poe releases the intercom button onsheer reflex and turns to stare at her standing in the doorway to her complex.

Now that she’s not dressed for school or wearingmakeup, he can see just how not-okayRey’s been. There are massive circles under her eyes, and she looks thinnerthan she had a month ago. And she’s – fuck, she’s wearing his Academy sweatshirt,the one he’d lent to her months ago, the one he could have sworn he had lost.Rey’s wearing his old sweatshirt, and she’s swimming in it, her thin armswrapped around her like she’s afraid her organs will fall out with theslightest provocation. Poe’s familiar with the feeling.

“Hey, Sun—” he stops halfway through the nickname whenhe sees her wince. “Hi, Rey.”

“Why are you here?” I was torturing myself with the idea of you on a date with Ben Solo, soI showed up to make sure he wasn’t being a creep because I still desperatelylove you even though I’m a useless asshole, also please find it in yourinfinitely perfect heart to forgive me, and just let me sit at your feet whileyou yell at me, that will be enough, anything you give me will be enough, justplease give me something, anything, I’m drowning without you

“I just wanted to make sure you got home okay,” iswhat he goes with.

“Well, considering I fixed Ben’s car myself, I wouldn’texactly worry about its mechanical integrity.” Rey looks at him coolly.“Anyway, I came down because I was tired of Rose screaming at our buzzer. I’mhere. What do you actually want to talk about?” Bee snuffles towards hereagerly, and bumps up against her knee. Rey smiles at him fondly, but theexpression is gone by the time she looks back up at him.

“I miss you,” Poe tells her. It’s still raining, andhe tries not to focus too much on the percussive waves of precipitation as theyslam down outside this small bubble they’ve created on her front step.

“Don’t,” Rey says warningly. “Just, don’t. Don’t dothis, Poe. Don’t make yourself feel bad because you saw me upset. I don’t needyou to miss me. That doesn’t help.” Her voice cracks on the last word, and hehates himself.

“I can’t stand the fact that I hurt you.” He squeezeshis eyes shut briefly. “I can’t stand the fact that I’m the one who’s makingyou upset. Rey, I was just trying to – to – I don’t even know. I was in a badplace and I said things I really didn’t mean. I’m sorry, and I miss you.” And I love you.

“You don’t have to do this, Poe. I’ll be fine.” Reysays dismissively, and she turns to walk back into the building.

“I don’t want you to be fine,” Poe snaps, angry athimself, the situation, not her. She stops and briefly curls in on herself athis tone, but then she sets her jaw and turns to face him. She stands upstraighter, eyes sparking, but Poe needs to finish. “I don’t want you to justbe fine. I want you to be happy, Iwant you to be loved, I want you to not hate me. I want to make up for howbadly I hurt you.”

“Fuck you,” Rey’s hands are clenched in fists now.“Fuck you, Poe. I am doing my best over here. I am doing my best to give youspace, like you wanted. I am doing my best to get over you. And I can do it.Don’t worry about me. I can shove how I feel about you into a tiny, little boxand cram it down with all the other shitty things in my life. You think youhurt me? You think that you hurting my feelings, that you not wanting me is thestraw that’s going to break the camel’s back?”

Rey yanks the sweatshirt off aggressively, angrily,and throws it at him. He catches it, startled, and stares at her, while herentire body heaves with the beginning of a sob, wearing a thin t-shirt. “Do youknow what these are, Major Dameron?” She points at the dozen or so scarslittered across her arm. “These are cigarette burns. My foster father used meas a fucking ashtray when I pissed him off. And me breathing pissed him off, soyou can imagine how often that happened. Do you know that one time I dropped a tool into a car and broke a valve, and he beat meso badly that I lost consciousness? That he broke four of my ribs stomping onme while I lay there?”

Poe wants to throw up, but she isn’t done. Not closeto being done. “When I was lying in the hospital bed, all I could do was laugh.Because there was finally enough evidence to emancipate myself. I took off,bought the bus ticket that got me the farthest with what I could afford, and Ifinished high school here in Raleigh while working to support myself. And whydid I end up with Unkar Plutt?” Poe, frozen as he is by this confession, stillcatalogues the name, the name of a man he knows he wants to see dead.

“It’s because my father and mother didn’t want me.They left me for fucking dead outside a fire station, in 100 degree weather. I foundthem, you know. I found them two years ago. Wasn’t that hard, not many ‘Rey’s’born in Arizona in 1994. I figured I’d confront them, you know, get to thebottom of why they didn’t want me. Maybe one of them was sick? Maybe it wasdrugs? Maybe they’d been in a car accident?” Rey laughs, hysterically, and Poewants to hold her, wants to tuck her into him, to enfold her into himself so hecan bear the brunt of anything else the universe tries to hurt her with, but hedoubts she wants him to touch her. Not when he’s a part of the list of thingsthat have hurt her. “No. They were fine. I imagine they were having sometrouble back in ‘95, but they’re fine. They own a house, have two kids, a dogeven. Fuck. I flew out there to talk to them, but I got as far as the gatebefore I turned around.” Rey’s getting to the end, and she holds a hand to herchest while she gasps for air.

“I ended up with Plutt because my parents weren’tready for children, or because they weren’t ready for me, or because likeeveryone else they took one fucking look at me and knew I wasn’t what theywanted. I ended up with Plutt because the best man I’ve ever known, Ben Kenobi,died and I wasn’t able to help him. He died in front of me, on my birthday, andall I could do was watch, because everyone who’s ever left me has been right.I’m not worth sticking around for. So no, I don’t hate you Poe. How I feelabout you couldn’t be further from hate. You stuck around longer than mostpeople do. I can’t blame you for finally realizing what everyone else seems to justknow.”

Rey bursts into tears, and when Poe reaches out for her,she waves him away. She sits heavily in the corner of the atrium, and sobsuncontrollably, hands covering her face. Poe kneels in front of her, andswallows.

“It’s all bullshit,” he whispers to her, hoping he canhear him over her sobs. “All of it. The people who hurt you – they did thosethings because they were fucking awful people. It had nothing to do with you.Like, when I hurt you. It had nothing to do with you, Rey. Fuck, I’m crazyabout you. You’re all I can think about, even now, even when I’ve fuckedeverything up, and I know I’ve lost you forever. I panicked is all, and I’d hada really shitty week, and I could barely tie my fucking shoes; I wasn’tfunctional and my brain hurt all the time. I said shit I didn’t mean because Iwas fucking lost in my own head, and I didn’t want you around that. I didn’t want to drag you downinto my shit. But I did anyway because I wasn’t thinking. Christ, Rey, pleaselook at me. Please.”

Rey sniffles and wipes her hands down her face. Shelooks at him, blinking away tears, and he wishes he was allowed to kiss themaway. He needs to touch her, but she hasn’t given him permission, and sheprobably never will again. “Rey, sweetheart, I didn’t want to break up withyou. I didn’t. I have been in physical pain for three weeks over it, but Iconvinced myself it was what you wanted, what was better for you. I would neverwillingly leave you. I didn’t mean to.”

“I don’t know if I can believe you,” she says shakily.Her hands come to her lap, weaving together tightly.

“Then let me prove it to you. Please, let me prove toyou that I never want to leave you again. Please.” Poe’s begging, shamelessly,but he doesn’t give a shit about dignity. Rey’s the only thing that matters.“It was a mistake and I know I can never fix this, but I want to try. I need to try to fix this. Please give me a chance, Rey. I’ll do anything, anything you want, just pleaseat least talk to me again.”

“Okay,” Rey whispers, staring at her locked fingers.

Poe ducks slightly, trying to catch her eyes. “Whatwas that?”

“Okay, I’ll give you another chance,” Rey says itlouder this time.

“Really?” Poe laughs, exhausted, thrilled. “You’dreally do that?”

“Take me on a date, Major Dameron.” It’s an order, onethat he can’t wait to follow.

“Yes, of course, definitely, yes – uh, do you want togo now? We could – “ Rey laughs tearfully.

“Not right this second, Poe.” She stands and hewatches her rise, mesmerized as always. “I need to shower, and eat dinner, andprobably explain to a very short, very angry woman why I did the one thing shetold me not to do.”

“Rose really hates me now, huh?” It’s no less than hedeserves.

“She doesn’t hate you. She just got tired of hearingme cry through the wall for the last twenty days.” Rey shrugs, and Poe rises to his feet unconsciously.

“Baby,” he says, heartbroken.

“No,” Rey shakes her head. “No, don’t apologize. Let’sjust – let’s just agree to talk more? About shit that we’re going through? Ican’t go through another three weeks like this, Poe. I won’t be able to takeit.”

“Never,” Poe promises. “I will never leave you again.I’m so sorry that I left you.”

“You did leave, yeah. But you came back,” Rey says,half-smiling. “No one ever has before.”

“Sweetheart,” Poe swallows. “I know it’s up to you,but you gotta know. I might actually die if I can’t hold you right now.” Reysteps closer to him, and he opens his arms to her. Rey slots herself into thespace he’s made, slips right back in like she never left, and Poe buries hisface in her neck, breathing, finally breathing, for the first time in threeweeks.

“I’m never going to leave you again,” he swears.“Never, sweetheart.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Poe,” Rey scoldshim, but she sounds lighter.

Poe knows. He knows he’ll die before breaking thispromise. He’ll never leave her again.

#damerey #jedipilot #may the froth be with you #ask #angst prompt #deleted scene from old fic #fic #writing #one shot #tw: abuse #tw: mental health #tw: hospitalization

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richietozierluv · 7 years ago

Text

tears over beers - (richie tozier)

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Reader (aged up)

Summary: Richie watches you chase after somebody else, too hopeful to back down from a lost cause.

Request: @beepbeeprichtozier hi! can you write richie x reader based on this song called tears over beers by modern baseball? a little angst but a happy but teary ending pls hahah AND CAN U ADD ME ON YOUR TAG LIST FOR ALL FINN (OR HIS CHARACTERS) FICS? 😁

Author’s Note: okay okay i’m sorry that there’s a little bit more than a little angst but i tried my hardest to do this song justice it is my favorite (but i hope you like it anyways!!!!!)

Word Count: 2,470

Warnings: Swearing, ?Angst? (a lot whoops)

When Richie was just a boy, about fifteen or so, he found himself annoyed by a syndrome of sorts in his bones. He couldn’t help but feel and fall so deeply in love with you, even despite knowing nothing would come from it. During the summer he’d moved to Derry, you both bonded over being alone, and alongside the hurt of finally having someone you could worry about, something you hadn’t had in a long time and missed, he hurt watching you chase after the wrong boy over and over again. In some sad way, when you climbed into his bedroom window on the nights you felt broken, the smile you’d given him, although fake, were his favorites. Because for once, you chose him.

As you slid open his window and carefully climbed through, making sure not to step on any scattered comic books, you whispered, “Richie?” He stirred, now half awake, waiting for you to crawl next to him, like you’d always do. “Hey, sorry Rich, go back to bed,” you joined him under the covers and smiled at him.

“What did he do this time?” his voice was raspy as he stared at you blindly in the dark.

You laughed lightly, “I’m not here because of him,”

Richie’s heart leapt a little, “yeah?” he moved closer, and had you been looking at him and instead of the ceiling, your faces would be an inch apart, “it’s 4am,”

“I know, I’m just, scared I guess,”

“You getting them again? I thought the nightmares stopped?”

“Not about that,” you sighed, “school starts tomorrow, and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I just want to leave, skip the decision making and wake up next to someone I love, grab a coffee, and go to work. I don’t wanna worry about how, I just want- I dunno-”

He watched your lips move in the distant light of the streetlamps outside, not listening, and realising how easy it’d be to kiss you. But while he would wake up three hours later next to someone he loved, you’d be wishing you were next to someone else.

“Bill!” you ran up to him in the school hallway and almost knocked him over, wrapping your arms around his neck. Through the crowd of people, Richie looked on and pushed up his glasses, wishing that you’d look at him the same way. “How are you? How was camp?”

“Oh y-yeah it was great, some new k-kid kept getting shit on by b-b-birds. Really the o-only interesting thing th-that happened,” Bill smiled at Richie as he made his way over, and started to complain about the food, and how glad he was to be back.

“I have no idea how you’ve missed ‘mystery meatloaf’ day, but each to his own I guess,” Richie pulled Bill in for a hug, and you rolled your eyes fondly, “it’s good to have you back Big Bill, Y/n’s a lot to handle on my own,”

“Hey!” you shot Richie a glare just as the bell went, and waved Bill off while you both headed to class, “you’re such a dick, Trashmouth,”

“Aw, you know I love you,” and he put his arm around your shoulders.

He couldn’t help but think how beautiful you looked, face squashed against your desk as you tried to make up for the hours of sleep you missed. Biting back a laugh, he realised how crazy he might sound, and pushed you lightly, earning a groan and a half-assed attempt at a middle finger.

“Not my fault you decided to sleep with me,” he smiled, before noticing Greta Bowie, who stared at him openly disgusted. At this, he raised his eyebrows and got back to his work.

“Richie?” you sat up, rubbing your face.

“What’s up?” he said, glancing at you, then at the teacher, who was sticking his ass in Greta’s face. He turned to you laughing, but immediately stopped, noticing that you were upset. “Do you need help? This is pretty easy stuff-“

“Why doesn’t Bill- I just thought since Beverly moved away that he’d, I dunno, look at me?”

“What do you mean?” he frowned.

“Am I just not good enough?” this left him speechless, and before he could say anything he was interrupted by the girl in front of you who asked if she could borrow a pen. You smiled at her, and turned back to Richie, telling him not to worry about it and waving him off.

After class, he pulled you to the side and found himself frustrated, not knowing where to start.

“Richie, I’m serious, just forget about it. I know I’m good enough or whatever,” you laughed lightly, and squeezed his hand, “I’m just tired and- I guess I thought things would be different now,”

“Bill’s not right in the head if he can’t see what he’s missing,” he muttered, and walked away.

With Richie running off to god knows where, you were left in an uncomfortable silence with Bill, trying to make conversation, and being met with more and more blunt answers. You watched him eat today’s lunch, wanting to laugh at his scrunched up face, make a joke, but you could only bring yourself to think about how things used to be. When everything was so easy, and so… right. Ever since you’d been kids, you and Bill had been inseparable, and somewhere along the way you fell in love with him, and he decided he liked holding your hand. Beverly had joined the group two summers ago, and in the moment it took for Bill to look her up and down, you could already feel him untangling your fingers.

“Y/n, you okay?” he could count on you to laugh at all of his jokes, but when you hadn’t so much as smiled, he realised you weren’t listening.

“Oh- yeah- I’m alright, ha-have you seen Richie?”

“I d-dunno, he might be smoking s-somewhere,”

“He’s actually quit since you’ve been gone,”

“No shit?”

“No shit.” You both laughed, and you realised it hurt more to get along with him than to sit there in silence. So you stood up, told Bill you’d see him later, and walked off before he’d notice you crying.

“You okay Y/n/n?” Richie found you sitting just outside the school’s building, in between choking on your sobs and choking on the smoke of your cigarette. He sat next to you, not saying anything at first but playing with a loose thread on his shirt. The school bell had come and gone, but he didn’t leave your side. Again, he put his arm around your shoulders, holding on to you so tightly, that you could no longer afford to cry. And with nothing else to do, not wanting to speak, you turned to him and kissed him; he would later remember this day differently, the day you tasted of smoke and tears; and you would taste alcohol, realising that perhaps Richie gave smoking up for something else.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry Richie!” you pulled away from him, and uttered another sob at the sight of him with his eyes still closed, lips and cheeks flushed.

“It’s- it’s fine Y/n,” he took the cigarette from your shaking hands and considered putting it in between his lips, hoping to grasp onto any aspect of that kiss. But instead he put it out, taking extra-long to press it into the cement, anything so that he didn’t have to look at you.

“Richie,” you held on to his hand, “look, I’m sorry-“

“You don’t need to be sorry-“

“I just- I need to get better,”

“What do you mean?” he finally looked back at you.

“I can’t take it anymore Rich, everything is too confusing, and… Richie I know you love me,”

“Y/n-“

“I’m sorry that I don’t love you- the way you need me too. But you’re all I’ve got-“

“When he’s not around,” although angry, he didn’t let go of your hand.

“No! Richie I love you so much-“

“But you love him more-“

“Shut up Richie!” you started to cry more. If Richie hadn’t prepared himself for this moment, hadn’t lived with the rejection from his parents and his old friends, perhaps he’d be crying too. “I love you so much, and I couldn’t thank you enough for sticking with me even though I’m such a fucking mess. And believe me,” you couldn’t help but laugh, “I wish I was in love with you.”

Together you and Richie had skipped the last two sessions of school, and made your way down to the barrens. Although you hadn’t been here since the day you came out of the standpipe with Stan and the others, you realised that after coming to your senses, realising that not only had Bill changed, but you as well, you needed to go somewhere familiar.

“So this is where you used to play when you were kids?” he still hadn’t let go of your hand, you wouldn’t let him.

“Yeah,” you pointed over to the Kenduskeag stream, “that’s where we first met Ben, he taught us how to build a dam.”

“Build a damn what?”

“Oh ha-ha,” you tripped over an uneven step in the ground, and almost found yourself on your face, if it hadn’t been for Richie’s hold on you. “Oh my god, this is the clubhouse we built,” you laughed hysterically as you let go of his hand and fell to your knees, pulling apart clumps of dirt and leaves, until you found the wooden roof, and, with the help of Richie, pulled it open. “We almost died in here because of this stupid idea in one of Bill’s or Ben’s books,” Richie looked at you, smiling through his confusion, “I can’t remember to be honest, but- shit, it still smells like smoke.” You climbed into the hole in the ground, and beckoned Richie to follow you, laughing at the look on his face.

You’d spent hours in the clubhouse, with nothing but the hole in the wall as entertainment. You both watched as the pale blue sky grew darker and stained with clouds, laughing as though you both hadn’t made the biggest mistake in your life not too long ago. As the light, as little as there was, cast on Richie’s face, the orange hues and the dirt on his chin made him nothing less of beautiful, but you hadn’t noticed. Richie on the other hand traced the shadows with his eyes, over your nose, and under your lips, taking in every last detail of you, all of you. “I haven’t met Beverly, but for Bill to choose her over you- I meant what I said, he’s not right in the head.”

“He needed more than me,” you smiled at him sadly. “I’m friendly, I’m thoughtful-“

“And quite awfully pretty,”

“-But he needed more than me.”

For a while, all that could be heard was the rushing water of the stream, and Richie’s slow breathing, but in the small clubhouse, with your legs tangled together, you realised you had what you needed. It just wasn’t here.

By the time you both climbed out of the hole in the ground, Richie doubted that his parents would even notice that he hadn’t come home. It was dark, cold, and with his jacket around you, uncomfortable. You felt like you needed to apologise, but didn’t know where to begin. I know he cheated on me but I’m so in love with him that I might as well give him another chance, sorry Rich. So you walked home in silence, hands brushing against each other; something that hadn’t seemed as such an offence a day ago, felt almost criminal after today.

“Y/n, we’re okay right?” Richie was cut off by the sight of Bill on your front porch steps, and didn’t find himself surprised to see you smiling wide and shrugging off his jacket, running towards him.

“Bill, what the hell are you doing here?” Richie could hear the happiness in your voice.

“I-I know things w-wuh-were weird b-between us today, and I’m s-sorry, that’s on m-me,”

Richie picked up his jacket from the curb, wanting to walk away, but felt glued to the spot, as though he was forced to live through his worst nightmare.

“It’s alright, it’s been months,” even in the dark, anyone could notice your cheeks reddening.

“No, the t-t-truth is, s-seeing you in the hallway, i-it made me realise h-how much I’ve missed you. So I spent the h-whole day thinking of what to say, and j-just as I was ab-about to, you ran off to find R-Richie,”

You’d almost forgotten Richie was behind you, but at the mention of his name you turned around, finding yourself in an impossible situation. He looked back at you blankly, and for the first time in a long time found himself trying not to cry.

“Y/n? A-are we o-okay?” Bill put his hand on your shoulder and you turned away from Richie once again, melting at Bill’s touch.

“Of course we are,” and you hugged him tightly, resting your head on his shoulder, finding it hard to feel sorry for Richie when this was everything you needed.

“Y/n?” this time, Richie spoke, his voice noticeably breaking. You told Bill to wait inside, and he kissed you on the forehead, frowning sadly at Richie before turning to make his way into the house. It was easy to hide your smile once you heard what he had to say. “All I can hope is for you to get better, because all I can take is no more- I think it’s only best if you don’t climb into my window anymore,”

“Richie, you’re still my best friend-“

“But you needed more than me, right?”

“Don’t do this, Rich,”

“I’m sorry, and- I hope it works out, I really do. You’ve been the best part of Derry for me, and it’s only right that you get what you deserve,”

“Richie you have no idea how much that means to me-“

“But he isn’t what you deserve.”

Again, for a moment all that could be heard were the crickets in your front yard, and Richie’s slow breathing; and the unmistakable hitch of his breath.

“I’ll see you around Richie, okay?” you squeezed his arm, and turned to leave, but he caught hold of your hand, just enough for you to stay, but enough for you to walk away if you wanted to. You stayed. He pulled you in closer and kissed you once more. And then he left you to watch him leave, the taste of alcohol still on your lips; a taste you’d associate with him on the nights you felt broken, and without a window to climb into.

an: im so sorry i haven’t been posting as much, i just started a new year at school like two weeks ago and between me being stressed and depressed, I’ve had no time, but i’ll definitely keep writing even tho i should be doing homework yikes

tagged: @riverdalerebel @johnsonxstilinski @littlepaperaeroplanes @tn22220-blog @goshdarnitthatsalongname @beepbeeprichtozier @emmaamalie

#richie tozier #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier x reader #IT movie #it cast #it cast imagine #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things cast imagine #mike wheeler #mike wheeler imagine #mike wheeler x reader #richietozierluv

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vrenaewrites · 4 years ago

Text

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~

#bookreviews #book review #cringe review #cringe books #crave #tracy wolff #jaxon vega #negative review #booktube

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mistersshelby · 5 years ago

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the woman assassin | part five

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

hello friends who are still here, thank you for sticking with me, i hope you haven’t forgotten about this series, i am so so sorry i took so long, i had the worst writer’s block and then i seemed to be bombarded with task after task to finish the last couple of months that i didn’t have time to sit and really think about this.

i hope you still love it, pls let me know what you think afterwards!!!

TOMMY X OC

WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, SEXUAL THEMES

When Clara woke, the room was dark and she was alone. No sign of Lizzie or Tommy. She hesitantly headed for Tommy’s office, unsure of what she’d find there. But when she cracked open the door, it was clean. Spotless, even. And there was Tommy, sitting behind his desk, as if nothing had happened.

She broke the silence, “What’d you do with him?” Tommy finally looked up.

“The boys took his body, burned it somewhere I presume.”

“I’m sorry that, I, um… That I couldn’t--”

“Don’t apologize.” Tommy said, “I told you I’d be there in case that happened.”

“I know, but I… I was really fuckin’ stupid. I believed him for a second there.”

Tommy was quiet for a moment, “My wife, Grace, she was killed by the Changrettas because John threatened someone and so we trashed some of their bars and…” Tommy sighed, “The bullet was meant for me. There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t blame myself for that.”

Clara watched him quietly, “Why are you telling me this?”

He finally looked at her, “Before Grace, I thought that no one would ever want me. A gangster from Small Heath. But Grace did.” The corner of his mouth twitched upward and Clara thought he must be recalling memories as he twisted his wedding band around his finger, “I’m telling you this to let you know that I understand. Why you wanted to believe Adrian.”

“Yes, well, you were lucky that you found that.”

Tommy nodded, “I was. And I let it slip through my fingers.”

“That wasn’t your fault, that was business.”

“Business that I promised Grace I would quit so that I could keep her safe.”

Clara shook her head, “You shouldn’t have made a promise you couldn’t keep.”

“I was close.”

“No, Tommy. People like us… We’ll never really change. The violence, the blood of the business, it’ll never go away for us, not really. Because truthfully, a part of us loves it. And you should never promise someone that you’ll stop the ugly side of the business because there will always be someone who wants to kill us and out here it’s kill or be killed. And Grace should’ve known that.” Clara pushed her chair back and stood up, “You deserve someone who’ll love you completely, even the ugly parts.” And she left before he could yell at her for speaking about his wife that way.

***

It was after midnight when there was a knock at her door, and Clara was surprised to see Michael on the other side, looking anxious.

“Michael, it’s the middle of the night, what—“

He interrupts her by kissing her fiercely, hands cradling her face, she gently pushes him away, “What are you doing?”

“I was worried, you were avoiding me and Lizzie implied that you were working a job and she had to clean a body out of Tommy’s office and I—“

“I was avoiding you and all the Shelbys because the job I was working was dangerous to you all.”

“Yeah avoiding us all, except Tommy.”

Clara stares at him, unbelievably frustrated and tired and emotionally distraught. It takes everything in her not to scream at him for being an absolute petty jealous man child. “Michael, the last time we spoke I told you we were done, was I not clear?”

“You mean when I was fucking you on your kitchen table and you were moaning my name like a prayer? No, it wasn’t fucking clear that you were done with me.”

She laughs, but it holds no humor, “Okay, let me be more clear this time.” She walks over to the door of her apartment and opens it, gesturing for Michael to walk through it, “Get the fuck out of my house.”

He walks to the door shaking his head, “Tommy’s never going to love you, you know. He’ll only ever truly love the business.”

“What the fuck makes you think I want Tommy to love me?”

“I’m not stupid, I see the way you look at him. And he’ll just get you killed, the way he did Grace.”

Clara closes her eyes, trying to keep her anger in check, “Michael, you have maybe ten seconds to get out of my sight before I shove your sorry arse down the stairs.”

“Fine, I’m going. Don’t come crying to me when Tommy ruins you.”

When he’s gone she slams the door and grabs the vase off her kitchen table and throws it against the door, shattering it. Shards of glass ricochet off the door and tear open her feet and ankles, but she doesn’t much care. She sinks to the floor and sobs, cursing Michael, cursing Adrian, cursing her father, cursing Tommy, cursing every man who couldn’t love her. But how could they love her? How could they love the broken down monster she’d become?

***

Michael stormed to the Garrison, ready to drink away his anger with Clara. Who did she think she was? He knew they had a real connection, but she was too damn stubborn to admit it and was too stuck on Tommy. And so when he went into the Garrison, he avoided Tommy, ignoring the calls of John, Arthur, Isaiah, and Finn who were all seated around Tommy, like he was royalty.

It wasn’t lost on Michael when he finally sat down with a beer and Isaiah, a table over from Tommy that he was watching him. And it certainly wasn’t lost on Michael when after listening to Michael complain about Clara, Tommy got up and left the Garrison.

***

When Clara was finished crying in self pity, she crawled to the liquor cart and opened a bottle of vodka, drinking it straight. She was about halfway through the bottle when there was another knock on her door. She closed her eyes, “These fucking Shelbys.” She murmured before pulling herself up and going to the door.

Tommy took one look at her and his heart sank. She didn’t look at him as she turned away with the bottle of vodka clutched in her hand, bloody footprints and glass trailed on the floor.

“Maybe I was wrong about you.” Tommy took out a cigarette and lit it before taking a drag, “Maybe you can’t handle this job.”

“Because I broke a vase and now I’m drinking away the image of my husband’s fucking brains dripping down his fucking face? Huh? I can’t have a fucking minute at 1 AM to get rid of my pain? Because perfect Tommy Shelby’s never turned to substances to ease his pain, eh? Fuck you.”

Tommy watched her, looking bored, as she turned away from him and tossed the handle of vodka back to take a swig. He handed a cigarette out to her, “Take this, it’ll clear your head.”

Begrudgingly, she took it from him and he lit it as she held it between her lips, “No one has come looking for your husband yet, but I assume your family’s gang knows what became of him if they knew where he was going.” Tommy puffed out a cloud of smoke, “If they had been smart, they wouldn’t have let him come unaccompanied.”

“They didn’t think I was a threat,” Clara said, “And they must’ve assumed you would’ve handed me over without a fight.”

Tommy took the vodka from her and tossed some of it back as well, “You should clean and bandage your feet, gonna get infected.”

“What d’you care?”

“I’ve invested in you, Clara, can’t have you dying on me now, can I?”

“Of course, always about the business with you.”

“What else would it be about?”

She shrugs and chugs some more vodka, “Nothing,” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand before standing, she sways, and Tommy rises to steady her.

He sighs, “Sit down.”

Clara pushes him away, “I’m fine.” And then falls forward into Tommy’s chest. He sighs again and lowers her to the couch.

“Don’t move.” He says and when she reaches for the vodka bottle again, he snatches it away before walking towards the bathing room.

“Hey…” Clara pouts, “That’s mine.”

He comes back a few moments later with a bowl of warm water, some towels, and bandages. He quietly cleans the bottom of her feet off, not acknowledging how she winces when he pours the vodka over her broken skin. He’s surprisingly gentle as he wraps her feet and when he’s done, he moves to clean the floor. It was strange to see this high class man on his knees in a three piece suit, cleaning the blood and glass off her floor.

“You don’t have to do that.” She slurs slowly.

“If I leave it here you’ll just cut your feet open again.”

“Tommy, d’you think you’ll ever fall in love again?”

He shakes his head, “M’not meant for love, the only thing left for me now is fucking.”

She leans her head back on the sofa, “Me neither, but cheers to fucking, eh?” She giggled, but Tommy ignored her while he finished cleaning up her floor, “Tommy?” He grunted in response, “Would you like to fuck me?”

His head snapped up, but he recovered in a moment, hiding from her any ounce of surprise he may have felt. “I don’t like to make a habit of sleeping with my employees, makes for messy business.”

“What about Lizzie? She works for you.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“We had a sexual relationship before I decided to employ her.” He was making excuses not to sleep with Clara, but he was moving closer and closer to her, her neck now craned up from the sofa to look at him.

“Ah, I see, so my mistake was allowing you to employ me before we had a chance to sleep together.”

“Yes, exactly,” He slowly sinks down on the couch next to her, “I’m glad you follow.”

When she reaches out to unbutton his vest, her fingers tremble slightly, but he doesn’t stop her and he doesn’t look away from her eyes, “I’ve been thinking,” She said softly, “About what it would be like to sleep with you for ages.”

“And I you.” He says, his voice raspy, and he realizes it’s the truth. He had pushed it away for so long, but Clara had invaded his mind.

Her eyes meet his then and she very slowly leans forward. Tommy’s hand comes up to cup her face and then they’re kissing. Clara remembers the night before she killed Sabini, straddling Tommy’s lap, the way his calluses felt on her skin and his soft moans. She felt like her skin was on fire as Tommy’s hands glided up her sides and under her dress. He pulls off her tights and then takes off her dress, and then Tommy sits back and marvels at her while he removes his own clothes.

Clara watches, biting her bottom lip in anticipation, her eyes washing over his body. He crawls over her slowly at first, grinding their bodies together, but once he hears her moan he moves quickly. Clara grips at the sofa until her knuckles are white and bites at Tommy’s shoulder to stifle her moans.

She remembers Michael for a moment, and though she very much liked sleeping with him, he was much different from Tommy. Tommy was more deliberate, perceptive. As he thrusted inside her he looked to Clara to see which positions, which speeds gave her the most pleasure. By the time they were nearly finished Tommy seemed to know exactly how to get her where she needed to be. And as Clara’s orgasm overcame her she clawed at Tommy’s back, pushing him over the edge himself.

He collapsed on top of her, both of them out of breath. He pressed soft kisses to her shoulder and Clara wanted to will away the fluttering in her belly at the intimate contact. Was this how he slept with everyone? Did he make every girl he slept with feel this looked after? She turned her face away from him so as not to betray her own thoughts. Tommy eventually sat up without a word, pulling on his trousers.

“It’s late,” Clara started, “You could stay here if you’d like.”

He lit a cigarette before looking at her, “I should go.” Tommy avoided her eyes as he said it, not wanting her to see that he actually very badly wished not to sleep alone tonight.

Clara nods and stands to walk him to the door. “Do me a favor,” Tommy says as he stands in the doorway, “and stop fucking Michael.”

Clara smirks, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to think about my baby cousin the next time I fuck you.” And then he disappears down the stairs.

Clara smiles to herself a bit as she closes the door.

***

Tommy curses himself for a while as he walks through the streets of Small Heath, headed for the Garrison. He hasn’t truly slept in days, a product of planning the murder of Clara’s husband and incessant nightmares. He hadn’t wanted to give in to Clara tonight, had tried to push the thoughts of her away over and over. He knew Michael believed he had real feelings for her and regardless of whether those feelings were reciprocated (he knew after tonight they surely weren’t) he shouldn’t have slept with her, not while knowing another family member was hung up on her.

He had made a mess, that much he was sure of.

“Brother, where’ve you been?” Arthur asked, clapping Tommy on the back.

“Business.” Tommy said simply before going to get some whiskey.

“Michael’s been on about you ‘fucking his girl’ whatever that means. Thought Michael had been fucking Clara.” John said, a cigar hanging out his mouth.

Tommy sighed, “He has been. Fucking Clara.”

“So you were fucking that cunt, eh? How was she, Tommy? Surprised she didn’t kill ya.”

Tommy was about to tell him off for talking about another blinder that way when he saw Michael storming over. He let Michael grab him by the lapels and shove him against a wall, holding a hand up to John and Arthur when they stepped forward to grab Michael.

“Where the fuck were you Tommy, eh?” Michael leaned in and sniffed near Tommy’s neck, “Un-fucking-believable, I can smell her on you. I knew you were the reason she said she didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Michael, think long and hard about what you’re doing right now, eh? We can settle this privately over a nice glass of scotch if you just—“

But Michael slammed Tommy against the wall again and Tommy ignored the shooting pain that vibrated through the back of his skull.

“Michael, what is this nonsense about? Let go of Tommy.” Pol’s voice came from over Michael’s shoulder.

“It’s alright Pol, Michael is fighting me over something he thinks he owns, isn’t that right Michael? You think she’s your property?” Tommy was trying his best to be patient with Michael, but the lack of sleep was really getting to him.

“What did you say to her? You told her to stay away from me, didn’t you? So you could have her for yourself?”

“She makes her own decisions, Michael, I didn’t even know she told you she didn’t want to see you anymore.”

Michael shakes his head, “You think you can just manipulate everyone until you get your way and you ruin people in the process. You never stop until you get what you want, no matter who it hurts. That’s how you got Grace killed.”

Tommy’s lip twitched and it was the only warning he gave Michael before he grabbed his lapels and spun him around so that he was the one shoved against the wall.

“Tommy!” Polly moved to come forward, but Arthur and John blocked her.

“You don’t fuckin’ say her name. Ever. You understand me?” Michael was quietly glaring, so Tommy banged his head against the wall, “I said, do you understand?”

Michael stared him down for a moment longer, “Yes.” He finally ground out.

Tommy released his lapels, “If Clara said she doesn’t want to see you anymore then she doesn’t want to see you anymore, it’s simple, eh? I didn’t tell her to do anything. Maybe you need to grow up and learn to accept rejection gracefully, eh Michael?”

Michael only shook his head and sulked off. Pol stared down Tommy, “Why’d you have to have the one girl Michael’s ever shown real interest in, huh Tommy? Couldn’t stand the thought of not getting what you wanted just this once?”

Tommy closed his eyes and sighed as everyone walked away from him. Maybe it was time to get some sleep. He briefly pondered wandering back to Clara’s apartment and slipping in bed with her. The thought of her warm body against his sparked more pleasure than he cared to admit. But he couldn’t do that, not after tonight. He probably shouldn’t sleep with her anymore, either, after the mess he’d created. So instead, he began to walk to his car that he had left parked outside Clara’s apartment to drive home.

When he got there however, three men jumped out of the car and wasted no time throwing punches at Tommy. He had minimal time to react, and he was so damn tired, he was only able to get a few punches in. They had immediately ripped off his hat and thrown his gun away, the only two weapons he had on him, and they punched and kicked him until all he could see was red.

“That’s your warning, filthy gypsy. The next time you see us, we’ll put a bullet between your eyes for Adrian.” One of the men said and then spit on Tommy before walking away.

He thought he heard Clara’s voice as he drifted in and out of consciousness, but that was all he remembered before he slipped into the darkness.

tag list:

@mariamermaid @gingertaurus @tommy-scum @lil-black-heart @wildmavs @unrulyhealy @shadow-of-wonder @trash-can-beebo @alyciaswhore @godsaverosemary @parochialism @zazasblogxx @randommostlypotter @julietswildchild @sunsetsandbooks @thetrappednerd

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x oc #tommy x oc #tommy shelby fic #thomas shelby fic #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby fluff #mine

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rassasassalin · 7 years ago

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Kane, Kane I love you, but I don't want to see you fight Brock. It'll be the worst kind of trainwreck. I don't even really wanna see Braun fight Brock again, just because I don't trust them to do right and have him beat mister dickchest.

...Kurt, really? Jfc. I guess it'll bring the casual fans in. Fuck me, I'm just so tired of Brock. Love Heyman, hate seeing that dumb purple face and penis tattoo.

Joe Rollins... Yeah, that'll be a good match, but it doesn't quite get the gross lesner taste outta my mouth.

Don't call Seth bad, Cole, he's trying to redeem himse- JORDAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLEASE STOP I REALLY LEGITIMATELY WANT TO LIKE YOU AND YOU ARE MAKING IT VERY HARD TO DO. Fuckin Seth's face, tho, like "who the hell is this child and who let him in my ring???" Man is lucky that Dean hasn't dropped down from the ceiling to try and brutalize him.

Ah Joe, you know you're always the bell of any ball that matters.

Not sure Seth's one to talk about Daddy issues considering his history with Trips and Steph, but ok, you a face now, we'll politely ignore the things you did as a heel.

Things I would not actually be surprised should they happen: Joe ends up kind of adopting Jason Jordan as his pupil/understudy for the purpose of annoying the shit out of Kurt as Jordan goes through his rebellious stage.

...A WWF commercial on the WWE is really weirding me out. I mean, hell yeah, let's stop tiger poaching, but like... 's'weird.

I don't like that noise Seth made when he was rammed into the barricade, if he could never make that noise again that'd be great. Is the crowd chanting boring? People have no appreciation for ring psychology anymore. I know you guys don't like Jordan, but let him try to murder Seth's back jfc it makes sense, let the boy live. Wow, yeah, that probably should have been Jordan's win, wow. Also, nice to see American Alpha on the same super cool suplexing lane. I can dig it.

Pffff, Love Tap. It's just a lil' love tap. Love Booker T.

Whoever in the crowd is chanting boring needs to shut the fuck GULAK YES PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW HOW DREW IS FEELING AFTER LAST WEEK IS HE GOING TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE OR WILL HE BE TOTALLY DESPONDENT OR JUST VERY CONFLICTED? GIVE ME MY CRUISERWEIGHTS NOW PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

ALSO IF THEY COULD DELETE THE SKITTLES POX COMMERCIAL THAT WOULD ALSO BE FANTASTIC I FUCKING HATE IT SO MUCH JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY IT'S SO GROSS.

Dean called Sheamus and Cesaro the Europeans. AND HE CAN'T TEAM WITH A FACE LIKE JORDAN'S. DEANO. Deano please. I can't.

...I also can't deal with bwoken matt please oh my god i just want bray to be taken seriously and also want matt to do ridiculously stupid backyard wrestling shit and i'm just not sure i can get both at the same time.

BRAY PLEASE STAHP WITH THE FACES

Things I am honestly surprised by: The fact that nobody has found a way to get the chant "Oooo-ver" into Finn's theme song. Or just, chanting Over at him any time he's in the ring.

Book, come on dude, give m'boys a chance before you say their strategy aint workin, the match only just started. Oops, someone's bleedin. Oh boyos, boooo, why you gotta be like that, come on that's not HOLY SHIT HIDEO! I was NOT expecting him tonight!!!

...is... are they thinking of moving Finn over to 205 live? Hideo's already there, and Vince has a habit of purposefully putting people that he doesn't think has what it takes in no win situations just so he can say he was right all along. Well, joke's on fucking you McMahon, because those of us who actually watch the cruiserweights are totally aware of how amazing their in ring work and story telling is, and if you bring Finn over, all you're going to do is get more people to watch them and come to the same realization. Bringing Finn over might very well make 205 a serious contender against NXT as far as loyal and slightly rabid fanbases go. ...Also did Cole say something about the Zo Train and then Drew Gulak as a separate entity from said train of Enzo??? Should I be reading into that?

That's my dude, Cedric. Glad you know better than to underestimate Drew.

...Wheeeeeeen will I get my UK boys on their own shooooooooow?????????

Oh my god, here we go, I'm not ready, Drew bby pls Fucking yes those cheers were for Drew thank you for noticing Enzo. ...Hmm... I think they're doing the thin DREEEEEEWW FUCKLNDF KILL ME RIGHT NOW BABY NO HOW DARE YOU FUCKING JAR JAR I'M GONNA DIE I CAN"T FUCKING PLEASE STOP ALSO HE"S NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU FUCKING THANK YOU CEDRIC ...Where is Enzo going? How is going to help Drew cheat from up there? Also I just noticed Drew's Trunks I think I like them but might also kind of hate thhem they somehow look kinda skimpier than his black ones and I'm not sure how or why Zulak. Eheheh. Zuul motherfucker. Okay, so, typing this out while having my eyes glued on the screen so will probably have a number of interjections when exciting things happen, but I'm thinking maybe to explain this whole coming out like Drew didn't do nothing wrong- Drew holy shit, don't flip over the top rope like that, thanks- might be because they're doing that thing where they act like nothing happened on tuesday because they assume that the regular audience didn't bother to watch, which is like... I sort of understand but it also really pisses me off. Wrestling fans in general aren't actually that stupid, and fun fact, Drew Gulak and Enzo Amore are in fact good enough story tellers to say through a few words, and show through their actions, that shit went down. That's kind of the great thing about wrestling. It's a soap opera in the way that you can stop watching for years and years and years, and come back- Sweet baby jesus another WWF commercial what the hell is happening here- to basically any show and pretty much have a pretty good idea of what's going on, storyline wise. -Look, if Cedric wasn't on the top rope, he couldn't be tossed off it, let's be real. ALSO AMORE YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND STOP THREATENING MY DREW AND STOP CALLING HIM GABBY GOO GOO I DON'T APPROVE but I do approve Drew working the wings and back like how beautiful i do legitimately love technical wrestling- Just given the action of the "actors" we can tell who's a good guy, who's a baddy, who's got beef with who, and anything that can't be super easily explained, we got video packages for. I'm kind of seriously worried that they're going to do a- FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TIE HIM UP DREW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH SHUT THE FUCK ENZO FUCK ME THAT FIGHTING FOR THE BOTTOM ROPE WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND where the fuck is Zo going???? Drew, no, come on, don't get distrac- fuck. Too late. Drew is... is Drew bleeding he IS Fuck me, okay, kinda figured that's how this'll beeeee Nia no why???

Shit, okay, thought I was having- Enzo's going to get used and abused, by his train and by Nia probably until the only one he has left is Drew, who is lame and a dweeb and a fucking square but you know what unlike everyone else he's been a true friend despite everything that Enzo has put him through and so, through Drew's good dork heart, he helps mends Enzo so he stops being so jaded and hurt after what Cas did to him. Or not. Probably not, at all, but it's a road that they could go down should they choose to.

Mmmkay, Asuka win, unsurprising, slightly surprised that Absolution hasn't come back out to fuck with her again. Like, if I was eventually going to be going up against Asuka, I'd be playing mindgames and beating her down to give myself a weakpoint to target later on every chance I got.

Shhhiiiiiit, I remember that countdown, it was Ammmaaaaaazing~ I popped as hard as an 8yo could pop and I didn't quite understand what was happening but I knew that I would never be the same Ageen. Good times. Good fucking times.

Ah yes, and here come *in Ambrose Voice* The Europeans. I'm sorry, I'm never going to get over it, it makes me want to both laugh and cry, Deano has a gift on the mic truly.

Not to be a grammarnazi, but it's you'RE a stupid idiot, not your.

Calling it now- Jason is gonna get in Dean's way/ knocked into him or Seth, and Ambrose is going to get distracted enough with beating the shit out of him that it somehow causes him and Seth to lose the match, either because Seth'll go for the tag and no one will be there, or someone's gonna get ambushed and then pinned real quick. That, or Dean tries to push Jordan out of the way, and so Jordan jumps in to fight back and they lose because of that.

Woooooooow, Jordan. Slow your damn roll. I mean, I don't think I'd have started with Seth either, because he's obviously still feeling that earlier fight, but still. You don't go at it that way. C'mon man. Ahahahaa omg what the hell was that slide across the ring by Cesaro that was the oddest looking thing I've seen in ages. I mean, I appreciate the blueballing against a hot tag, but like, ehehe I want to be mad but I'm just giggling. Dean, I appreciate you putting Seth back in the ring but why didn't you put him back in closer to your corner??? Shit, Dean, are you okay??? Fuck, shit, that better be a work, jesus, oh no, ohhhh no please come on oh shit I don't like that ending it was awkward as fuck fuuuuuuuck deano....

...No, wait, uh, uhhhh, they setting up for a turn? I mean, Dean's the obvious one to make a heel turn on the Shield right now. Personally, I'd go with Roman, because it'd be less expected and unfortunately people are going to go back to booing him as soon as the Shield isn't around anymore so you might as well give the crowds a REASON to boo him, but I know Dean's the lunatic so... Christ I really hope this is a work and he's not actually hurt...

Limo??? Oh! Oh, Steph's home! Nice!

...Matt, omg. I'd watch Matt fight a fish. ...Woken Warriors. Matt, please stop. ...Fuck me, they're going to go back to crossdressing Bray again. Please, let's not do that again. I like that Corey is a Woken Warrior. I shouldn't, but I do.

Okay, okay, they're showing Dean getting hurt alot, so... maybe yes a work??? YES, Okay, attack backstage means work, definitely work. Or like, Dean does have issues with his arm so he needs time off to get it fixed. They used to do this all the time to let the wrestlers have Kayfabe reasons to not be around for a couple of months. But like... they're pretty upfront about when a guy or gal does get injured now, so... I have no idea what's going on.

Fuck yeah, welcome back Revival. Missed you boys. Who's their first victims then? Oh, Heath and Rhyno. Awww. Well, makes sense. At least they're getting tv timmmmmmm what is Dana Wearing??? Why??????? BOOKER MY DUDE NO PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT DANA COUNTING CALORIES THAT'S NOT COOL.

KURT DON'T YOU FIRE MY HEATH HE'S GOT KIDS!!! oh god what is rhyno gonna put heath through????

Hello Elias. ...I love Elias. please go caroling at me. Man fuck Goodell. I- what? Sasha??? What are you doing? Oh my god. Are the girls gonna beat up Elias? I mean, not that I'm super against it or anything, but like, why? Is there a reason for this? Has he done something? Oh, it's because it's time for their match, right? He's eating up their time.... Oh no that one buddy, that's so sad, but it was a good try Bailey. Bye, Elias. Dude... You can't not hug Bailey.

...Why HASN'T Nia been more involved with fighting Absolution. She's a huge threat. You'd think they'd try to take her out early. ...Dana changed her clothes. Well, hello there Boss Lady. Paige looks like she knows she's about to be grounded but is trying to play it cool.

I'd like to point out that if there was a big ol' fella rumble going on and an Dude McMahon came out, they wouldn't have stopped fighting. But the Ladies know when toooooooooo YESSSSS PLEASE STEPHANIE I WANT A FUCKING WOMEN'S RUMBLE YEP YEP YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#wwe raw #monday night raw #sassin about rasslin

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