#but also this is the closest to vulnerable she gets and it hurtssss

[oblitum]

Bryn winces, not realising he hadn't caught onto that piece of information already. Damnit, if only she'd kept her mouth shut a little longer. She's beginning to regret everything about this conversation, everything about agreeing to talk to him. She works her jaw, glancing away uncomfortably. It's not that he doesn't have a right to ask these questions, or that he doesn't deserve answers but Bryn feels vulnerable. and vulnerable is never something Bryn has dealt well with. She's never had to have her siblings step in before; never needed saving and even if Freya and Finn were the last people to gloat; her pride was wounded. She didn't like not having the answer to her problem, being unable to fix it herself.

Her mouth opens and then closes again, features flushing. She knows she's being unkind but sharp words have always been her defence mechanism. It was supposed to be harder as a vampire, having emotions. . . everything was heightened but the truth is as an original, she'd found a medium, a way to bury her feelings enough they didn't overwhelm her, that she didn't feel the need to turn it off, but now, being human again? It was like all those coping mechanisms were crashing down around her and she feels tears prickle in her gaze in frustration and she sucks in a breath through her teeth, hoping he won't notice her losing her composure.

" I know. " She begins softly when she's sure she can hold her voice steady, though there's still a hint of wariness in her tone. She lets out a heavy breath, placing her cup on the table and leaning forward, hands rubbing down her face, and sighs. " I know. " She repeats again, an apology in her tone as she leans back in her chair. " I'm sorry Finn, you didn't deserve that. " because he didn't, she knows he wants to help. Lips purse, his question giving her pause. She's not sure he fully understands it's not a reflection on him, as to why she won't let him help her, why she kept it to herself.

A frown furrows her brows. " I don't know Finn. " she admits " I'm not sure I was thinking about you at all. " she tries to find the words to explain. " I thought it would be safer if you didn't know, for all of us. I thought if I could fix it before word got out, then that would be safest. " She holds up a hand, as though to stop him commenting. " I've left a lot of people to keep them safe, so there's nothing to exploit should our enemies come looking. Don't think I wouldn't do the same for this family. " another pause. " I know I was gone. . . for a long time, that sometimes I keep you at arms length but that doesn't mean there isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep this family safe. "

"You were human when you called me?" Up until now he had believed it was the result of her last run in with the witches. "Bryn.." The amount of risk she had taken going at it alone like that was off the charts. His voice was a mixture of worry and disappointment. Worry took the lead by far though. He let's out a sigh and shuts up, takes his time to process everything she was telling him. He only speaks again when he feels composed enough to do so. "I have done anything but act like your keeper. I let you go, respected your wishes and trusted -and still trust by the way- your ability to handle yourself." What he had trouble with now though was trusting whether or not she was being truthful with him. He wanted to believe though. And perhaps in this instant he did. "Honestly, what did you think I'd do had you told me from the start?" He does not understand her reasoning. Were they not stronger united than divided and keeping each other in the dark? How was distance going to keep any of them safer from enemies looking for a weak spot? "And before you answer that, know that I am not trying to lecture you. I'm just trying to understand." There was so much more he wanted to know, but he could not ask her twenty questions at once.

@oblitum