#the confession dial
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once again in my "thinking about twelve and clara" hours (aka all the hours)
#twelve: i have a duty of care :)#TWELVE. BABYGIRL.#you shot someone. with a GUN#you spent 4.5 billion years trapped in a prison of your own worst nightmares haunted by the specter of the woman you could not save#you spent eons punching through a wall harder than diamonds if only to reach her. if only to touch her for a fleeting moment#kingdoms have fallen. galaxies have turned to dust. suns have turned into black holes which faltered and died in the time it took#and then you didn't even get to keep her. she was pulled from your memory and you were left with a hole in your chest the size of your fist#that's not a duty of care. that's devotion. that's world-rending reality-shredding love (in whatever form that love takes. it's LOVE)#anyway :) i'm going to be sick can someone hold me please#doctor who#dw#the doctor#clara oswald#hell bent#the twelfth doctor#peter capaldi#jenna oswald#the confession dial#gallifrey#whoniverse#video
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Doctor Who: The Second Doctor Regenerates by The Confession Dial
#Doctor Who#2nd Doctor#Patrick Troughton#3rd Doctor#Jon Pertwee#regeneration#video#Jake Booth#The Confession Dial#Youtube
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KING OF CLUBS
#id in alt text#my art#dw#doctor who#missy#gomez!master#dr who playing cards#might as well post these at hte same time. teehee#gave her the confession dial bc the original k of clubs design is holding some sort of orb#gallifreyan says “king of clubs”
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I've just realised that from the Doctors POV it's been like a thousand years since he's seen Donna Noble and her family and it's making me feral
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I sometimes think its weird that everyone must have a 'favourite doctor'. I get the appeal, but how its so wide spread baffles me.
Theyre all one person, in the end, with each regeneration being all that came before and more, and a little different due to the experiences they had and the people theyve met, just how I am different from when I was 15 years old, but still the same.
I have a favourite doctor for conveniency reasons, mostly, 12- but even then, whats a 'favourite doctor'. My favourite performance? My favourite to have a fun time with? My favourite to make me aspire to be better? My favourite to laugh, my favourite to cry for? Theyre all different. I love 12 as much as I love 1 or 2 or 3 or 4. Maybe I have incarnations I dont feel as strongly for, but thats usually out of unfamiliarity with all they went through and by such an inability to truly grasp who the doctor was when they wore that face (e.g. my only experience with 8 being the tv movie) or because they amplify parts of the doctor Im less fond of (e.g. six being a little mean).
But in the end, theyre all of it anyway? All of the Doctor is mean, whether its the first doctor or the sixth or the tenth, all doctors are kind, whether its the second or fourth or 12th or 14th, all of the doctor has experienced grief, all of them is strong willed, brave, afraid.
I like the idea of having a 'favourite'. To me its a little like your favourite actors role, I love david tennants hamlet more than I like his alec hardy, but I still love his acting, period.
But this obsession of needing a favourite doctor, of needing to love one part of this beautiful, incredible character more than others, often it feels unfair to who they are. This grand person being reduced to a few years of their endlessly long life. To a single face.
Maybe that's what feels so real about thoschei. Companions tend to get attached to a face. To this one part. To the master the current doctor's body is secondary.
"Doesn't matter which face he was wearing, they're all the Doctor to me."
And they are, in fact, all the Doctor.
#i really hated that part of david tennants return#i liked having him back#playing an incarnation I personally find much more comforting and appealing to me personally#a doctor grown#a doctor aged#but even the subtitles got it wrong#“the tenth doctor:”#no???#hes played by the same actor#but how many more years has he lived? how many more people has he met? how many more adventures has he had?#14 is FOURTEEN. Not a “second ten”#he has lived the lives of 11 and 12 and 13#he has met missy and the spymaster#he has spent eternity in the confession dial and saw the universe fall apart in his name#this is the 10th doctor in the same way every other incarnation is the 10th doctor#the same person- the same underlying personality traits deep within#theyre all the doctor#but this is not “10 but with the memories of 11-13”#this is another doctor with another jumbled mess of the person he always has been and always will be#and it makes me so angry that people see the same face and think “thats the exact same”- when incarnations closer to each other#in personality or chronologically- i dont care- but wear a different face#a different body- are supposedly so much more different than someone with very different feelings- someone who has aged millions of years#since then#just because they look the same and yes this was unnecessarily long but it makes me so.angry that fans and distributers alike cant get it#FUCKING RIGHT#Doctor who#dr who#the doctor
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I wish we could see someone else's confession dial because I have a feeling the doctor's is particularly fucked up yk?? like I'm p sure if he told another time lord yeahh I was Haunted by the way my fear of death manifests whilst having to survive my worst nightmare of having to relive fresh grief every time whilst still having to find the will to punch through an impenetrable wall even without an audience only to go and burn everything I'd achieved and everything I was to do it again. I think they'd be like what the fuck I just had to work things out with the ghost of my mum or smthn. yk.
#does this make sense#i just imagine the average confession dial experience is not that deep#and his is insane#squids bullshit#heaven sent#doctor who#12th doctor#twelfth doctor
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Confession #71
"Not trying to sound like a Garashir conspiracy theorist, but why do pairings like Garak/Ziyal and Bashir/Ezri seem like they were only created to discourage slash shipping?"
#forever resenting how production shoehorned andy robinson into dialing the gay down with garak jtbc#star-trek-fandom-confessions#star trek#garashir#garak x ziyal#bashir x ezri#deep space nine#deep space 9#ds9
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“I know, buddy, I know.” Keith scratches behind his big dumb dog’s ears, pressing a million kisses to his forehead because he’s got Black to himself for the next day and there’s no one (Shiro) to clown him for it. Kosmo barks excitedly, wagging his floofy tail so fast it beats against the dashboard and system controls. Keith laughs, moving his scratching fingers down the wolf’s head and neck and to his back, where he likes to be scratched best.
“I know you’re hyper, huh?” he coos, blowing a raspberry. “But that’s what you get. You know you always get too excited when you hang out with Lance. You should have stayed with me.”
At the mention of the Red Paladin’s name, Kosmo starts howling, bounding out from Keith’s lap and tumbling to the floor, nails clacking against the metal as he flips around Black’s cockpit.
Keith huffs. “You raise a wolf from a pup, showering him in treats and affection, and you still fall second best to the first guy he meets who teaches him to fetch. Figures.”
It’s ridiculous, is what it is. Two straight years together on the space whale, but Kosmo lays eyes on Lance for one measly second and falls in love. He’s genuinely obsessed with the guy, and it doesn’t help that Lance is unbelievably smug about it, indulging Kosmo’s every whim and burst of affection just to grate on Keith. He has on twelve seperate occasions radioed the Black Lion to talk to Kosmo only, completely ignoring Keith.
“I can’t blame ya,” Keith says quietly. His voice is still a little teasing, still a little exasperated, but even he can hear the gooey fondness in it. “Lance is just that good, huh?”
Kosmo barks again, loud and fast, then flashes as he blips out of existence then back into existence right on Keith’s lap. Keith chokes as 200 pounds of floof is suddenly deposited on his person, but recovers quickly. (Kosmo will never remember that he is no longer a little puppy. Keith is just going to have to get used to having his lungs crushed.)
He starts to stroke Kosmo’s fur again, gently this time, calming him down.
“I should say something,” he says, more to himself than to his dog. “Ugh. I mean, it’s Lance, right? He’s my best friend. He’ll most definitely tease me, but he won’t, like, mock me or anything. He’s good like that. He knows exactly when to be serious, like during that last gala thing we had when we landed on a planet a while back. He just knew I was feeling off, just like that.”
Keith buried his face in Kosmo’s fur, hiding his smile. “He’s just…everything, you know? I’m always thinking about him. I have been for years. Hell, I talked about him so much on that stupid whale that you recognised him before you even met him, buddy. That’s objectively bonkers. But I can’t…” He sighs, leaning back in the pilot seat and staring unseeingly through the windshield. A red dot flashes gently at the bottom corner, but he pays it no mind.
“He’s sweet when no one’s looking. And even when people are looking, sometimes. And I’ll die before I even imply it in his direction, but he’s funny, too. And his fucking brain, dear God, that man could outwit anyone if he was under enough pressure. He saved our asses more than once when we were stumbling our way through this co-leading thing in the beginning. And anyone with eyes can tell that he’s hot.” Keith’s ears burn a little, thinking of the Coalition videos. “Seriously hot. And…leggy.”
He cracks up, embarrassed giggles bubbling up his throat. His next words are muffled by the hand he has pressed to his face. “God, I want him to fuck me up.”
Kosmo raises his head from where it was resting on Keith’s knee, staring at him in what Keith can only assume is judgment.
“Shut up,” Keith says hotly. “You once farted so loud you scared yourself and cried for ten minutes. You don’t get to judge me about being embarrassing.”
Keith is losing it. He is defending his character to a dog. He groans loudly, dragging his hand down his face.
“I should tell him, shouldn’t I,” he mutters. “Just — come out with it. ‘Leandro Esposita-McClain, I am in love with you.’ Straight to the point. Rip off the band-aid.”
Kosmo yips quietly. Keith snorts.
“Yeah, you’re right. That’s crazy. He’s my friend, I don’t want to ruin things. I’ll just suffer in silence the next time he looks at me and the fuckin’ sun bleeds into his eyes and makes them look like golden honey or whatever. Jesus.” He reaches for his book and props it open, muttering to himself. “It’s always the fuckin’ pretty ones that get me, huh?”
Kosmo barks loudly in what can only be agreement, and Keith scoffs, flicking him on the shout. “Yeah, yeah, you lug. Bug off with the teasing and let me read in peace, alright? I’ll tell him someday. He doesn’t need to know now.”
.
.
.
(A beep echoes through the Red Lion’s cockpit as her paladin slams on the ‘call end’ button, eyes wide and chest heaving, having listened curiously when he’d been radioed out of nowhere mid-conversation between the Bladk Paladin and his dog. And then listened in shock as the Black Paladin had brought up him. Brought up being in love with him, with his heart and his eyes and his legs, apparently.
Red blooms on his cheeks.)
———
based on this post by @petricorah
#i just think that keith accidentally confessing to lance via butt dial is hilarious#vld#voltron#keith#keith kogane#kosmo#keith & kosmo#lance#lance mcclain#klance#pre klance#confession#fluff#whipped keith#pining keith#down bad keith#like actually#brown-eyed lance#brown eyed lance#my writing#fic#longpost
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The shepherd's boy says 'There's this mountain of pure diamond; it takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiselled away, the first second of eternity will have passed.' You must think that's a hell of a long time - personally, I think that's a hell of a bird!
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Confession Dial
Artist: Narendra Bintara Adi TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link
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The Doctor's Existence is Older than He is (Heaven Sent episode)
The Doctor (at least the 12th one) has mentioned he's a little over 2,000 years old, because that's how much he's lived and aged and been conscious about it. However, when he's in the confession dial, it states he's been trapped in that loop for about 4.5 Billion years.
But, due to him 'resetting' himself after a couple days, he did not age 4.5 Billion years, he only aged a couple of days, making him still only a little over 2,000. The 4.5 Billion does not count toward his age.
But it does count toward his existence. He may not have aged, but he still existed all of those 4.5 Billion years. Just because he reset himself in the teleporter doesn't mean he simply ceased to exist the previous days or years, as evident by the billions of skulls in the lake, those are still his, he still existed.
The Doctor's Existence is billions and billions of years old, but he's only aged 2,000 of those years.
His existence is older than he is, and I find that very fascinating.
#taltalks#doctor who#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#peter capaldi#heaven sent#hell bent#the doctor#doctor who confession dial#confession dial
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i will not let clara die // it was him or you // look how far i went for fear of losing you // i was going to make them bring you back // i had a duty of care
#i say a few centuries but if we're counting the confession dial then it's a few billion years#anyway i'm normal about their relationship#help#i get that one would die permanently and one would regenerate but STILL. holy fuck#doctor who#twelveclara#peter capaldi#david tennant#clara oswald#jenna coleman#the doctor#dw#hell bent#the doctor's daughter#video#my edit#tw gun#gun tw#shooting tw
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I’m so astronomically down bad for Norm Allen. I need him so bad. He’s my wife and my beautiful husband.
Real
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I have a question about dw heaven sent that i hope doesnt make me seem like a moron but. was it satisfying to yall the reveal at the end that it was the confession dial thing. Sorry sorry so sorry but it sort of smacked of the boomerang did it sorry sorry about that sorry.
#like tell me the point wasnt to figure out why he was in there but just to go along with his escape and ill believe you#but if there is an element of trying to work out why 12 is in this situation. how could anybody have figured out the confession dial angle#or or or tell me that was set up earlier in 12 era and ill believe you also bc i havent watched it enough to disgaree#disagree*#doctor who
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can i just say one great big 'what the fuck' to doctor who series 9 episode 11 "heaven sent"? because seriously WHAT THE FUCK
#in a complimentary way to be clear.#WHAT THE HELLLLLL THAT WAS SO INSANE#IM ????????#BRO#WHAT#HE WAS TRAPPED IN HIS OWN CONFESSION DIAL. HE SPENT TWO BILLION FUCKING YEARS IN HIS OWN CONFESSION DIAL.#HE PUNCHEF HIS WAY THROUGH THE STRONGEST MATERIAL IN THE HNIVERSE OVER TWO BILLION YEARS#FUCKING *PUNCHED IT*#OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD????#TWELVE I LOVE YOU#magpie thoughts#magpie watches doctor who#doctor who#dw
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read the line "a youth of 9 centuries" in this fic and it's rly doin me in like. 900 yrs IS old by gallifreyan standards but it's been over 4 and a half billion years since 10 said i think a time lord lives too long. and even then they only decided they were 900 again bc it was easier than admitting what happened to their body in the war when time was made into a chemical weapon and they were catapulted between birth and death an unknowable amount of times idk. looking back at ur impossibly old self and seeing a child
#im not adding timeless child lore to this bc im thinking abt their remembered lived experience but also that#like its 1 thing to find out ur older than u could ever conceptualize and ur memorys been stolen from u and its another seperate thing#to have aged billions of years in ur own living memory#also being trapped in a haunted house for most of that time#like they are so unwell#doctor who#thoughts#14th doctor#10th doctor#ik 12 also had their memory wiped but i like to think that when they got out of the confession dial it all came crashing back#bc i love to put that old man in situations
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