#the concept of driving scares me in general

[magical-regical]

Sometimes I'll see posts on insta that are like 'pov Zayne's driving home to you' and it's just some guy's nice hands in a nice car driving all sexy.

And then at first I go through the normal human reaction of 'hehehe Zayne' and then my brain contextualizes the situation and I'm like "oh god driving."

[honeytonedhottie]

cultivating creativity and a deeper understanding of self⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰

PROMPTED JOURNALING ; 

shadow work and prompted journaling is a rly helpful way to get to know urself better. it cultivates not only creativity and a sense of identity, but also healing.

journal therapy is literally everything and i cannot recommend it enough. some shadow work prompts that you can use to start off are listed below.  

what part of myself do i feel disconnected to and why 

how do i let others invade my boundaries 

what beliefs and behaviors did u adopt from ur family that you now question 

what easily triggers sadness or anger from you. and what might be the deeper reason for this sensitivity

are there desires and ambitions that you feel embarrassed or scared to admit? and why?

journaling mainly involves self expression without fear of judgement. it’s like expressing urself without feeling ashamed so i highly recommend it for anyone who feels like they struggle with self expression. 

SELF EXPRESSION ; 

working on ur self expression also helps to kind of cultivate a sense of identity and knowledge of who you are and what u value. like i mentioned earlier you can express yourself in so many different ways. i’ll get deeper into the self expression aspect in the post. 

PASSION ; 

what are you passionate about? what drives u everyday? is it money? academic validation or academic research? maybe it’s romance or a strong desire for something. 

it’s okay. everyone’s answer might be different but there’s no wrong answer. identify what motivates you and what ur working towards. 

BEING BORED ; 

give yourself the privilege to do nothing. give yourself the luxury of being bored. when ur not doing anything, this frees up ur mind to think and cultivate ideas and concepts, most of the epiphanies that i have are a result of my alone time. 

when there’s nothing to do, you’re forced to think. and most ppl look for distractions and excuses to not spend time by themselves bcuz they don’t wanna spend time in their thoughts. they don’t wanna just be in their mind and i understand cuz at one point i was also in that position. 

to break this habit and be comfortable in ur own mind you must first be uncomfortable. start small, dedicate a small amount time to just lay and think, let ur mind wander as far as you want. and the next day let ur mind wander for a longer amount of time and so on until you can do this comfortably. 

CREATIVE OUTLETS ; 

something that i’ve learned on my journey is that having a creative outlet was rly important for me to be able to cultivate who i wanted to be and to be authentic and original. 

a creative outlet is a way that u can express yourself and your ideas some examples of a creative outlet could be 

pinterest accounts - i have so many pinterest accounts and on those accounts i turn my boards to art. lately i’ve been interested in photography and photos in general so this was rly good for me. 

a blog - starting ur own blog about something that ur passionate about/know a lot about or something that ur learning about is a great way to track progress and document ur journey

a journal - like i’ve mentioned earlier on in the post a journal is the simplest one to do in my opinion and i love it so so much

creating art - whether it’s pinterest boards, paintings, sketches, music, poetry, stories WHATEVER YOU WANT. 

DEEPER UNDERSTANDING ; 

process ur emotions in a thoughtful and efficient way and try looking deeper into ur behavioral patterns and habits. why are you the way you are? 

what are you passionate about? etc etc. cultivate a relationship with yourself through self care and healing work. remember that healing isn’t a linear process and in no case will it be, but i think that u owe it to yourself to know and cultivate urself. 

[sugar-crash]

🏎️Turbo (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader🏁

(Beginning Relationship Pt. I Edition!)

(It took me fucking forever to find a picture from the movie of Turbo [far too cowardly to use fanart]. Which, as we all know, is fitting.)

- To go into deeper detail on this, your time dating Turbo when he was all high and mighty was… Eventful to say the very least.

- We don’t know much about how Turbo pre-RoadBlasters disaster besides the most obvious points: passionate, sore winner, an even sorer loser, hot-headed, and finally the cherry on this red-white cake; Spite.

- His passion for various things bleeds into the other things in his life, giving a drive that goes beyond the racing track, with the relationship he gains with you being one of those things with a lot of time and patience.

- Victory kisses at the end of the day are a must, even when listening to his frustrated woes from certain players playing game wrong, saying things like “I’M FATTEST RAT IN THE RACE! WHY SHOULD I SUFFER WHEN THESE MOTION DEAF TERMITES DECIDE TO PUT A COUPLE OF COINS IN MY GAME???” ….Yeah <3

- I think in many ways that if you get his trust so much to the point where you guys start dating, he just kinda expects you to listen to his aggravated rants and not do the same for you— Which takes a lot of time to rectify, in his mind he doesn’t think you “have it as bad” as him, as ignorant as that is.

- Yeah he doesn’t exactly get a trophy for “best lover”, that’s for sure.

- And his stubborn behavior doesn’t make that any better, takes him a while to get certain things drilled into his brain when he finally realizes what you’re saying isn’t “nagging”.

- Don’t get him wrong, I genuinely think he has the capability to care for someone else over himself, it just takes a whole lot of work for him to consciously realize that.

- PDA isn’t really much of a thing for Turbo (except for his “well earned” victory kisses) , he has a reputation to uphold as one of the most popular game characters in the arcade, though behind closed doors he basically demands the attention you give him at first.

- If you don’t like being ordered around and tell him as such, it takes a series of fights to realize being bossy in a romantic relationship (or any in general) isn’t exactly the best thing. The obvious in these situations isn’t to him, he has a very one track mind (pun intended) and doesn’t like change when it effects him.

- Which is very understandable, human even, I think that many of us, if we had a choice, would keep things just the way we like it. But— Life itself is all about change, conflict, differing opinions, etc. And while it is aggravating to no end, it’s something a person has to come to terms with.

- Someone like Turbo struggles with that concept, why can’t he act the way he finds more natural?? This stone set mindset drives many way, even the people from his game— Even you at times.

- He loves you to death, with the way he sticks close to you after hours, the way he gets a momentary soft look at you when he thinks you aren’t looking is perceptible to people who pay attention.

- Much like his latter self, King Candy, he has the tendency to hide things from you— Not in a way that maintains a noble or joyous persona, but in a way that tries to hide his softness for you, the desire to clutch you close and never let go.

- The feelings your mere existence gives him scares him, not that he would ever admit that, not even to himself.

- He hates that at times his feelings depend on how you feel, and trying to understand it only stirs the pot, touches of comfort are met with a scoff and some variation of “I’m not some fragile lamb you can comfort.” Though at that point his reactions aren’t nearly as explosive as they used to be.

- Over time I believe that with your help he is able to maintain more composure— Thinking before acting, which is something he is desperate need for.

- Your relationship is very hit and miss at times, but what is love without conflict? BORING, that’s what I say at least.

- Who he is as a whole is both a blessing and a curse, really makes a person think in a “What goes on in that asshole’s head? And how the fuck did he get with someone?”

- The time you have with him before RoadBlasters was installed was special, not perfect in the slightest, but you guy had your moments that one can look at later on with a sense of melancholy.

(Abyiv-ahzapj! *SVBK MHYA UVPZL*)

[yanderes-galore]

Underfell AU Sans romantic concept please?

Sure! I tried to keep him as close to canon as possible while also putting in some of my HCs. He's actually really fun to write :) I hope you like my take... sorry if you don't. There's a gap in the middle due to Tumblr's formatting.

Yandere! Underfell! Sans Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Anxiety, I wanted to make him more possessive (I might in the future but I never thought of it until now), Denial, Kidnapping, Mentioned possible mind break/Murder, Isolation, Stalking, Some jealousy mentioned near the end, Some manipulation, Forced companion/relationship.

I feel Fell! Sans has the possibility of being a terrifying yandere.

He's one of the strongest monsters in the AU and his powers tend to fluctuate due to his emotions.

He's also incredibly stressed all the time from what I've read.

Fell! Sans cares for his brother, they both care for each other actually.

They both want to portray themselves as cool to one another and others.

Fell! Sans is still lazy but also sarcastic.

I know Fell! Papyrus doesn't enjoy killing humans but does it for "sport" to help the guilt, he also does it due to being part of the Royal Guard to protect Sans from Asgore.

However I'm unsure how Sans feels about killing humans according to canon.

I'd assume he'd be indifferent but supports it as it's the law of the land and the job Papyrus is given.

Sans’ obsession was meant to be kept vague however I feel with a human it feels more natural to me?

Maybe you take the role of Frisk or simply aid them.

Either way I'm defaulting Darling to human.

Of course, naturally as the world goes, you end up having to defend yourself against Sans and Papyrus.

Primarily against Papyrus as Sans probably doesn't bother fighting.

Although… you can tell there's some strength there.

Due to what I've read, he radiates power due to his stress.

It's supposedly seen in his jacket at times.

So you have an idea that Sans could easily kill, but are thankful he just chooses not to.

Fell! Sans certainly has an obvious edge in appearance and personality. 

He's very sarcastic with you but in a way you can tell he means well when you befriend him and his brother.

In fact when he forms an attachment he may even show some anxiety about you meeting the other monsters.

You are aware of how easily you could just… die, right?

Even with a flower to guide you, he hopes you can defend yourself and not just talk things out.

Although he is thankful you managed to appeal to his brother enough to spare him.

He definitely tries to act calm in general, especially around you, although there's times he slips.

I imagine Fell! Sans fidgets due to… well… the sheer amount of stress he's under.

Really, who isn't in the Underground?

With Asgore in charge there's strict rules.

Rules that could easily end you as a human.

Sans tries to tell himself to not get attached to you.

He'd be in denial about his obsession.

It's all because he's scared to lose you.

Part of him wants to protect you, yet the other part suggests just letting you go.

The ideas he has tears him apart internally, which Papyrus can definitely tell.

Sans keeps fidgeting and his powers keep fluctuating when he thinks about how he can lose you.

Fanon tends to depict Sans as overly sadistic, while I agree he has aggressive tendencies like everyone in this AU, I don't think he's over the top.

I feel Fell! Sans is more like an anxious and stressed mess more than anything.

Which for him can make him volatile as his powers can be controlled, but are emotion based.

His pent up emotions no doubt drives his obsession.

While Papyrus protects Sans from Asgore, Sans feels like he has to protect you from not only Asgore… but everyone not him or his brother.

While you continue your journey, Sans isn't far behind.

He still has similar powers to his classic counterpart, which means teleportation.

Every area you enter, he's somewhere there.

I never mentioned this in the original draft but I do feel Sans would get possessive/jealous.

It's just not mentioned much in this concept since he's more consumed by anxiety than anything.

But in a way he does feel you two belong together, one way or another.

He would definitely murder, but he has to hold himself back due to his powers.

Which, yes, I assume would mean if he's jealous or enraged enough with you talking to others... his powers may flare.

Papyrus is against this but this human clearly means a lot to Sans.

Admittedly… Papyrus would miss you if you died too.

So he understands where Sans is coming from, it mirrors the care Papyrus has for Sans.

But Sans seems more… intense?

Sans could just feel something akin to close friendship or something more.

Honestly, if a monster nearly killed you, he'd probably snap and use his powers.

Which is why he prefers to just… stick around you everywhere.

Admittedly Sans likes it when you laugh.

He tries not to show it but you mean a lot to him.

The reason he tries to hide it as it shows vulnerability.

But you seem to enjoy his Knock Knock jokes and his company….

You like it because he's more “friendly” than the others.

Honestly, that gives him a bit of pride while also striking vulnerability in him.

Sans really keeps trying to tell himself his obsession is a vulnerability.

He shouldn't be this attached to you.

Yet now he really can't just let you go.

As a result I imagine he'd prevent you from meeting Asgore.

Sure, okay, you may have befriended most of the monsters here…

But not him…

Please not him…

He'll kill you and Sans will snap.

Scared of this he gets more fidgety.

You can probably tell even though he acts collected, he has an aura that scares you.

Sans doesn't know how to explain to you he cares about you.

He just doesn't want to lose you.

So Sans may try to manipulate you into staying with him more to avoid Asgore.

Isn't staying in Snowdin better?

Well… Papyrus may want to see you again!

Y'know… it's futile to go against Asgore, right?

Just… stay with him.

If he has to, he'll use some of his power to lock you away in his home/room.

Look, you don't get it.

Asgore nearly killed Sans before… he could and will do the same to you!

It's behind closed doors that Sans’ facade breaks.

He pulls you closer and mumbles about his fears.

He plans to keep you right here… if you try to leave, he'll know.

At this point he'll kill any monster who tries to hurt you or even goes near you.

Sans curses himself for getting so attached to a human.

However, he's given in now.

He'll keep you away from all the danger.

He'll keep you to himself.

Even if it requires others, including him, to get hurt due to his powers and rage.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

I´m so sorry (modern!Aegon II Targaryen x Reader)

synopsis: For as long as you could think Aegon had been there for you and you had been there for him. To you he had been a brother rather than just a friend, to Aegon you had been the love of his life. And to your demise he was just really bad at self control.

warnings: Dark fic, ddne: dead dove do not eat, non-con, slight somnophilia kinda, mentions of alcohol and drinking, afab reader, angst, smut, p in v sex

word count: 0.9k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

a/n: I know this is short, but this concept would not leave my mind until it was written. hope you enloy it nonetheless. <3

For as long as you could think Aegon had been there for you and you had been there for him. To you he had been a brother rather than just a friend for almost as long. To Aegon you had been the love of his life, the one made for him by the seven, ever since he had learned what it meant to be in love. An all-consuming bond, that he felt too scared to share, in case he would scare you off with the sheer intensity of it. So the feelings kept boiling underneath his skin and you remained blissfully unaware. If only he would be better at self-control.

You had just settled down in bed to go to sleep at one of the sleepovers you often had. Cuddled close under the blanket like you were used to, almost asleep. Almost. You are drifting off for a few seconds here and there, not resisting the claws of slumber any longer, when Aegon's hips start moving against your backside. Frozen in shock you realize it's not just restless shifting that drags his body against yours, it's his clothed, hard cock searching stimulation between your ass cheeks.

You want to say or do something to stop him. Anything really, just as long as it got him to stop and right in that moment Aegon whisper something into your ear that stuns you once more.

“You are so pretty…” His hot breath fans over the side of your face.

The scent of the scotch you had shared earlier which got transported to your nostrils burns itself into your brain. Along with his raspy voice and soft touch. Those gentle hands that stood so in contrast to the very nature of the act he was committing.

“I love you so much. I´ve always loved you.” He pulls you closer until your back touches his chest. Letting his hands wander from around your middle under your shirt to toy with your breasts.

The way his rough fingers knead the supple skin and twist your sensitive nipples until they stand hard at attention. As much as you hate what is happening, you can´t hold back a series of small whimpers. Shutting your eyes tightly when the mattress dips behind you due to his body shifting to make space for pulling your panties half way down your thighs and freeing his cock. Aegon pulls your hips back towards his groin and without any hesitation enters your tight heat until he bottoms out. His breath hitting your back in short, heavy bursts as he immediately begins to rut into you in a frantic pace. Any attempt to keep him out by tightening your walls around him are futile, other than bringing him more pleasure. You hear him whine at the feeling of your velvety walls around his thick length which finally makes a tear spill from your closed eyelids. Catching in your lashes before it cascades down your cheek.

You fight to suppress a sob that threatens to shake your body to avoid raising his suspicion. However you can't avoid him seeing the tear or hear the further shaky whines that leave your lips as he snakes one of his arms around you to grope at your breasts once more. "I'm sorry." He whimpers. "I just can't hold back anymore. You're too pretty. Too perfect." Aegon begins to drive into you faster when you get the strength to finally move a little in an attempt to get away from him.

As you roll onto your stomach, he stands still for a moment. Shushing you trying to calm you down into what he thinks is a deep sleep. In your chest you can feel a small offspring of hope bloom, that this would be enough to get him to stop. It's all the strength you have to move away from him or do anything. Of course the voice deep inside your brain is right in telling you he wouldn't stop until he was done.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay. You can keep sleeping." Aegon runs a soothing hand up and down the length of your spine. Waiting a second longer before entering your tight core again. His whimpers at being enveloped by your cunt once more mingle with yours.

"I'm so sorry, princess." The words come out as half growl, half whimper and thread itself all throughout what he's doing to you. Every one of your whimpers is followed by an apology of his and further praise and confessions of his love.

Meanwhile he drives his cock into you more desperately. His balls slapping harder against your clit and the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin growing louder to ring in your ears. Aegon fucks  into you without abandon, pressing your body into the mattress in a grip that is sure to leave some nasty bruises come morning. Every thrust pushes your body forward, to make you even more nauseous at the situation.

You don´t even know how long it takes for him to be done, simply feel the small amount of relief as he rolls off you after shooting his load onto your thighs.

It´s only after your body stops rocking from the thrusts and the feeling of his thick length has left your cunny, that you feel the lump that has built in your throat. Tears following the moment his soft snores resound. This marking the first of many nights you lie awake feeling the absolute lowest you ever had and the worst part? You can´t even talk to the one person you once trusted most about it.

[museofthepyre]

Thinking about TMA avatars, and the conversation around “what makes an avatar?”— how do we as listeners determine which fear we would serve in universe?

Is it what scares us the most? Is it what we’re the *least* afraid of, what we connect to positively? I am curious how you guys have picked out your own alignments… here’s my take:

I think it comes down to whichever fear reflects the worst parts of your own nature. There are elements of each fear that all avatars seem naturally compelled to (sometimes even taking joy in their work), but that is their vice. The fears call to an ugly part of them and coax it to the surface, compelling them to feed into this destructive desire, to nurture the fear until its strong enough to take over entirely. That’s how avatars are created, the way I understand it at least.

For example, I myself am a corruption avatar... to the extreme. I see what the corruption embodies: the self-destruction, the loss of identity, the themes around unhealthy love/ relationships (with oneself and others— ala Jane Prentiss feeding herself to the Hive), the general relevance of illness and decay, both mental and physical...

I look at all that and I see the worst parts of myself. The parts of myself that often override my concern with self-preservation and rational thinking. I'm connected to it all deeply— but it’s in a way that scares me! The corruption would take me over with little to no convincing, because the seeds are already there… they only need a push to really emerge. I think we can see that concept play out most clearly in the cases of Jon and Martin, with the gradual amping-up of their unhealthy tendencies overtime as they were fed into (those tendencies being: a drive to risk it all for knowledge, or to withdraw and hide behind lies respectively).

[visceravalentines]

sugar stuck in your teeth

They're grimy and tired and Benson's neck is sore. Randy gives him a shoulder rub and thinks hard about the allure of being a biological organism.

2.5k words. canon divergence, boys on the run. established relationship. implied sexual content, nothing explicit. sweat and oil and general nasty. sharing of a toothbrush. so fluffy i'm spinning it up and putting it on a stick and selling it at a carnival. read on ao3 here if that's more your speed.

They spend a full day on the road. Seven hours across Texas through scrub and sand. Nothing to see. No end in sight. Randy falls asleep in the dead-eyed sun of mid-afternoon and wakes up in the dark, dry air whipping through the car from Benson's window rolled all the way down. 

"Hey." Randy sits up, disoriented, mouth gummy and tasting of bygone Mountain Dew, bladder fit to burst. "Why didn't you wake me up? You've been driving for hours."

"Didn't want to stop." Benson's voice is rough. Randy can read the exhaustion in his posture, the way he grips the wheel with both hands. "Besides, you looked like you could use it."

Randy shifts in his seat. He hasn't slept well all week. "Well…it's my turn now. Let me take over."

"Nah." Benson rolls his neck slowly. "Town's up here in like ten minutes. Figure we stop for the night."

Randy peers through the bug-splattered windshield and sees lights in the near distance. "You wanna find a motel?"

"I'd fucking love a motel. Gimme that lukewarm shower and a box spring mattress. Fucking luxury."

As it turns out, they get none of that. The only place in town has a sign that says Closed and no lights on in the lobby. Doors all locked, despite Benson's best efforts to rattle them open. 

He doesn't say a word, doesn't even curse, just slumps defeated back to the car with Randy in tow. "You want the backseat or the front?"

"Benson, I slept for hours, I can–"

"There's not another town for forty miles and if I spend one more second on that fucking highway I'm gonna peel the skin off my face."

Randy doesn't argue. "I'll take the front."

"You sure?" Benson tosses a weary look at him over his shoulder. He squeezes the back of his neck and winces. 

Randy nods. "Yeah, I'm sure." 

The front sucks. You either have to fold your legs to fit around the steering wheel, or risk nailing the thing with your arm or your head. One time he hit the horn with his knee and scared them both so bad they ended up packing up and driving through the night because neither one could fall back asleep. 

He's had plenty of rest. Benson should get the back. 

They leave the car parked in the rear lot of the motel and pick their way through the scrub in the dark to take a piss, elbow-to-elbow. Randy barely feels self-conscious anymore. At the start he used to walk ten paces away and make Benson turn around. But that seems silly now. Benson's seen and touched every inch of him. This is nothing.

Benson zips up and takes off down the sidewalk with a haphazard sense of purpose. Randy has to jog a little to catch up. Benson holds out his arm and he ducks beneath it, the weight comfortable across his shoulders. By now Randy feels like he belongs there, pinned against his side. 

He reeks. They both do. It's been three, almost four days since they last had a shower, been making do with baby wipes and clean underwear since they left Tennessee. Randy almost can't stand it. Back home, he showered every day, sometimes twice a day if work was rough. Right now, he could scrape the grime off himself with a fingernail. 

He's adjusting to this level of awareness of his own body, like he's just now cognizant of the way his skin fits. It makes him sort of anxious. But he's coping. He doesn't really have a choice. 

And it's funny–Randy doesn't mind Benson's stench at all. He's uncomfortable with his own stink, but he actually thinks Benson smells kind of…good, maybe. In a gross kind of way. It's such a foreign concept that he keeps inhaling a little too deep at this distance just to prove it to himself. 

"What're you doing later?" Benson asks, oblivious. 

Randy clears his throat. "Um…not much." 

"Oh. Huh." Benson squints down the road towards the distant light of a gas station, the only thing in town that looks alive besides the two of them. "Well, how about I take you to dinner?" 

A smile steals its way onto Randy's lips. He hooks his pinkie into Benson's pocket. "That might be nice." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

Benson takes a deep, thoughtful breath. "There's this place…Seven-Eleven?" He casts a dramatic sidelong glance in Randy's direction. "You heard of it?" 

"Yeah, I…I think so." 

"It's just fantastic. The beer list? Unbelievable. And the atmosphere, well…there's really nothing like it." He's talking with his hands, throwing them off balance. Randy stumbles happily along with him. 

"I don't know, um…I've heard they don't have Pringles. Like, the big can. Just the little ones." 

Benson scoffs. "Well, now, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. You can get two of the little ones if you want. It's on me." 

"Wow." 

"I know." 

"That's–that's really generous." 

"Well, you're gonna have to put out." 

Randy coughs out a laugh, looks at his shoes to hide the heat in his face. "Sounds, um…sounds fair." 

"Randy, come on." Benson laughs, gives his shoulder a shake. "You're giving it up for two cans of Pringles? You gotta know your worth, man." 

He'd give it up for less, but that's beside the point. "Maybe toss in some peach rings and we have a deal." 

Benson gives him a squeeze. "Fuck yeah, alright. Now we're talkin'." 

They pick their way through the snack aisles of the gas station, select a few staples they aren't sick of yet. Benson salutes the clerk behind the counter like he's an American hero. They make their way back down the road to the motel in silence save for the crunching of chips and cellophane. 

It's a beautiful night, still warm from the sun, everything orange beneath the sodium streetlights. Not a soul in sight save for them. This town looks like every other one and Randy likes that, likes that it's starting to feel like coming home when they stop for the night in a new place with a single stoplight. 

They lean against the trunk of the Chrysler and pass the Big Gulp back and forth. It's too late for caffeine so they got root beer, extra ice, because Benson likes to fish it out and chew on it. There's too many streetlights to really see the stars, but that doesn't stop Randy from trying. He sucks the sour off a peach ring and feels a little bit nauseous and a lot filthy and an overall, bone-deep sense of contentment. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Benson twist his head, trying to roll out his neck again. It's not the sharp jerk of his familiar tic, not quite, but it makes Randy nervous. He's been doing it all night. He wonders if it was something he said, something he did. He still doesn't know what exactly he's trying to shrug off every time, but he knows enough to tread that ground lightly.

"You okay?" he asks, tries to make it casual. He swallows the peach ring whole and has to fight it all the way down his esophagus. 

"Yeah." Benson nods, winces slightly. "Yeah. Just sore." He grips the back of his neck and stretches, lips hitched in a grimace. 

Randy can imagine. Slumped in a car days on end, cracking the damn thing all the time. He sets the Big Gulp on the trunk, thinks, hesitates. Commits. 

"Would you, um…would you want me to rub it out for you?" 

Benson looks at him warily as he considers the offer. He's slow to answer, but Randy is patient. Doesn't push it. Lets him think about it. 

Finally he nods. "Sure. Why not." 

Randy clambers up on the trunk and sits behind him. Benson leans back between his legs, rests his elbows on Randy's knees, hangs his head forward. The space between them is awkward all of the sudden. Too close, not close enough. Too many clothes on. Too much skin exposed. 

Randy is nervous and he's not sure why. He thinks fleetingly of their first time, his first time, and the way Benson's hands hovered an inch over his skin and shook a little bit. This isn't that, but it feels kind of the same. "You can…tell me to stop if you want. Whatever you want. It's okay." 

"How about you start and then we'll see." 

Randy brushes the curls at the base of Benson's neck hesitantly with his thumb before he wraps his hand around the muscle of his shoulder, gives an experimental squeeze. "Right…there?" 

"Higher." 

He moves his hand up and tries again. "There?" 

Benson hisses through his teeth, cringes. "Yeah. Fuck." 

Randy sets his hands on either side of his neck and squeezes gently. 

"Yeah. Right there."

Benson's all tension beneath the skin, stiff and warm under his cold fingers. Randy thinks about the color of his muscles, the white of bone underneath them. He's pretty sure he's never touched anyone like this before, not even Benson, not like this. Not friendly or sexual, just…intimate. 

"If you want me to stop, just–just say so, okay?" 

Benson grunts an affirmative. His skin is oily and his muscles are taut as bowstrings, so riddled with knots it feels like buckshot lodged in his flesh. Randy presses his thumbs in deep and pushes up along his spine, again and again, feels a flush of satisfaction as Benson melts back against the car. 

"Fuck," he moans. 

"Hurts?" 

"Yeah. Don't stop." 

Randy's nothing if not good at taking orders. He falls into a rhythm, slow and steady, works over his neck and shoulders and back again. Benson swears up a storm and lets out a low whimper whenever he hits a sore spot. 

"Sorry," Randy murmurs every time. 

Benson never replies, but that's okay. He doesn't tell him to stop either.

At first his hands are balled into fists against Randy's knees, but after a while they go slack. He relaxes, finally, allows Randy and the car to support his weight. It's a selfish thought, but Randy hopes he's the first person to do this for him, or at least the first in a long, long time. Benson doesn't have a lot of firsts left. He wants this one. 

Before long, his hands are cramping and he worries he's going to rub his neck raw but doesn't want to stop touching him, doesn't want to forfeit this new familiarity with his body. So he eases up, cheats a little bit, combs his fingers through his greasy hair and scratches at his scalp. It makes his chest feel tight, the way Benson leans into his touch with his eyes closed and groans under his breath. 

When he finally pulls away, Randy tries to subdue his disappointment, until he turns around and reaches up to hook a hand behind Randy's head. 

"C'mere," Benson mumbles, tugging him close and meeting him halfway for a kiss that tastes like peach rings and root beer. Randy grips his forearm and for a second, in his mind's eye, everything drops out and disappears into the void, save for them and the car and the stars. 

When he breaks the kiss Benson doesn't let him go, holds him in place with their foreheads pressed together. Neither of them speak. Randy focuses so hard on Benson's breathing he forgets to breathe himself. There are words, but they creep by in silence like animals in the dark. 

"We still got water in the back?" Benson says at last. 

"Mmhm." 

"I'm gonna brush my teeth. Change into my jammies." His jammies are a pair of basketball shorts made of more holes than fabric. 

"Okay," Randy says. 

Neither one of them moves. The crickets chat amongst themselves in the brush. 

"You still want the front?" Benson asks. 

"Sure." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem." 

Benson sighs softly through his nose. He lets go of him and steps back, shuffles from one foot to the other and stares at Randy for a long time, hair sticking up in all directions. Finally he goes to dig through the backseat for the water jug. 

"Looks like a bunch of fuckin' raccoons live in here," he mutters. 

Randy chuckles, looks at his hands palm-up on his lap. He's got Benson's skin beneath his nails, his sweat and oil worked into the whorls of his fingerprints. He's never been so close to another person. Spent his whole life maintaining a safe distance from everyone around him, treating his body like a blast zone. Now the idea of distance is laughable. They share everything but toothbrushes. Hell, he's been inside him. Randy always figured he would never reach that level of connection with anybody. 

He brings his hand to his face and hesitates for just a second before he sticks his thumb in his mouth. The salt of Benson's sweat is familiar on his tongue. He tastes his skin on his skin. He knows him. He knows him. And Benson knows him right back. 

He's craved this sort of intimacy his whole life. Laid awake alone countless nights and ached for it, mourned bitterly for what he never had and assumed he never would. But now he lies awake with Benson beside him and basks in how wrong he was. In how real he feels in his arms, wearing a second skin of grit and spit and whatever else. 

He doesn't want to sleep in the front. 

Randy twists to call over his shoulder. "Hey…um, Benson?" 

"Yeah?" he says around his toothbrush. 

"You think we could…both fit in the back?" 

Benson spits on the asphalt. "No." 

"Well…could we try?" 

Benson snorts. "Fuckin' clingy, huh?" he says, but he sounds amused. Randy feels those dark eyes appraising him like a pair of hands fumbling at his clothes. He tugs absentmindedly at the collar of his shirt. Well, Benson's shirt. "Yeah. We can try." 

Randy hops off the trunk and joins him in the evening routine, bumping shoulders, bumping elbows, their voices small and close in the night. 

"Gonna sweat to death together back there," Benson says. 

"That's okay." 

"If you say so. Think I might skip the jammies. That cool?" 

"That's–that's fine, yeah. That's good. Hey…is that my toothbrush?" 

"No, yours is green."

"That is green." 

"No it's not." 

"Yes it is, the light makes it look weird." 

Benson looks at the thing again. "Oh. Whoops. Does it really matter?"

Randy gives this serious consideration, thinks about his mouth and everywhere it's been. Thinks about the state of the rest of him. Thinks about pressing his body to Benson's in the backseat, sticky with sweat, breath on his neck. 

He wants to say yes, it matters, but he doesn't feel it. He tastes salt on his tongue instead.

"I guess not," he shrugs.

Benson hands it to him. 

"Your turn, then." 

[translatemunson]

it always ends up with a town car speeding • ttfd

chapter six of the tortured firefighters department

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader, mentions of food, 118 being a family, buck being a considerate friend, girls night with our favs (lmk if i missed something)

You checked your phone again and stared at the doughnut box you bought on your way to the firehouse. When you were leaving your shift, you heard one of your coworkers dispatching the 118 for an incident. Based on your calculations, it was enough time for you to drive to your coffee shop, get yourself some decaf latte and two boxes of doughnuts for the team and deliver it yourself at the firehouse.

However, forty minutes after your estimations, they were still nowhere to be seen. Or something worse happened, or they were just stuck in the midmorning traffic.

You held back the urge to text Buck and ask, but maybe he didn’t have his cellphone with him and would be a waste of time. So you turned on the volume of your headphones, your favorite playlist blasting, and closed your eyes, trying to remember all the concepts you’ve been studying over the week.

After your mental breakdown, you decided to put your life back on tracks again. You were back to work the graveyard shifts, while also attending classes and asking for deadline extensions from your professors, so you could at least have a shot at delivering decent papers and syllabus.

Did that mean you were always out of your house or buried in books? Yes, but this time you had friends making sure to check on you from time to time. Maddie was always reminding you to eat and take breaks — even when she wasn’t working the graveyard with you —, Hen gave you some notes from Karen old book’s in hopes they would be helpful — and most of them were —, Eddie and Buck were always inviting you to hang out, even if it was just for lunch. Besides Buck — who saw with his own eyes when you hit rock bottom —, they probably had a general idea of what was going on with you.

You didn’t hear the engine and the ambulance entering the garage — how could you when your favorite song was playing — and you were the one that ended up surprised by the 118.

“Oh my-,” you screamed when you felt your chair trip back. But before you could hit the floor, you were stopped mid fall, and Eddie was staring at you, kinda upside down, “Edmundo, you little piece of-”

“Nice to see you too, Brains. And you brought donuts?” He set your chair upright, and you saw Chim and Hen already picking one from the box. They waved, mouths already full with the treat. “What got you in such a good mood?”

“Definitely not you.” He reached for one, and you slapped his arm. “Put it down. Now.”

“Really?” He looked surprised, but he was just messing with you.

“You heard the lady, Eddie,” Buck finally showed up, a small towel in hand, cleaning the smoke particles from his face. “Oh, you brought doughnuts!”

If looks could kill, Eddie would’ve dropped dead. But now that Buck was here, your features softened and that strange sensation washed over you.

Something changed after the night he showed up at your door and helped you through your depressive episode — you started to use the real name of what that was. But you couldn’t quite point it out, thinking maybe it changed only in you, and he was still the same Evan Buckley you met weeks ago.

“Suit yourself, Buck.” You pushed the box further, keeping it away from Eddie.

“I thought you hated him.” He pointed.

“Hate is a strong word, Edmundo,” you took a sip of your coffee. “Besides, he didn’t scare me to death!”

“I’m on her good side now,” Buck admitted, proud of himself. If he knew that he was more than just on your good side, that he found his way inside your impenetrable fortress, he would use it to his advantage. “Thanks, Brains.”

“So, miss Halfway Through Her PhD, what brings you here today?” Chim pulled a chair and dipped back for a second donut. Buck went straight to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“Nothing, just wanted to drop by and share some treats before I go to class.”

“You’re a long way from Caltech,” Hen sat to your right, pushing Eddie away.

“Yes, ma’am, I know. By the way, one of my professors used to work with Karen, Mrs. Duncan.”

 “Don’t remember his name from our conversations, but I’ll tell her,” she smiled. “Also, she found a few more books in the basement, drop by to pick up any time.”

“Will do.” You opened your notes app to add it to your to do list, and checked the time. “I’d love to sit and catch up with you guys, but I have to leave if I want to make it in time,” you showed your phone screen, time ticking against you. “I left another box in the fridge, but don’t get used to it.”

“Can I have one now?” Eddie wouldn’t shut up one second. God, you needed to find him a date and get him laid.

“Fine, Diaz. But don’t you ever do that again.”

“Scouts honor,” he promised.

You grabbed your bag, ran down the stairs, waved Bobby goodbye — the captain was coming out of his office — and took a walk to your car, parked outside of the fire house.

“Hey, Brains!” You heard Buck calling you, and for a moment you thought you were reliving that fight at Eddie’s house. You stopped on your tracks, far enough from the fire house building to have some privacy. “We have to stop meeting like this.”

“Not my fault if you guys took longer than I estimated on that call,” you smiled.

“Was it you?”

“No, it was May, but I overheard her instructions.” You checked your bag for your key. “Was everyone ok?”

“Yeah, everyone’s fine,” Buck closed in the distance between you, and looked over his shoulder to the firehouse before asking, “How have you been feeling?”

“I’m better, Buck. Hmm, thanks for not telling them all the details about, you know, that thing,” you felt like stepping on eggshells, talking for the first time about what he did for you. When you woke up that next morning, you avoided the subject like the plague. “They really don’t need one more thing to worry about.”

“It never stopped them from caring, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” You bit your lips and stared into your shoes. “Anyway, I’m sorry I blew you off last weekend, I had these tough exams and I spent all my free time studying. I really forgot to check my phone, and didn’t crossed my mind to tell you I was gonna be busy, so I’m-”

“Brains, it’s ok. Really.” He gently grabbed your arm, cutting your nervous talk short. “I assumed you were busy, that’s why I just let you be. And you promised me you’d tell me if things got bad, so I really get it. Even though I was never a good student.”

“Cut yourself some slack, Buck. You may not be good with math and science, but you got into LAFD, which is a huge thing.” And before he could say anything, you added, “I’ve seen the training program, it’s tough and demands a lot of intuition and assessing a scene quickly.”

“A compliment, Brains? Oh, I’m definitely on your good side now.”

“You’re unbelievable, Evan Buckley.” You pushed him, your hands placed in the middle of his chest. “If you excuse me, I need to run through LA traffic to get in time for class now.”

Your movements were a little awkward, like you’re both trying to dance the same song, but missing all the queues. You stepped aside, he opened the door for you and your hands touched, your bag fell to the floor and it was so like one of those romcoms moments. And you kept trying to avoid Buck’s eyes, which led you to almost step on his foot and bump into him multiple times.

“Don’t get yourself into an accident,” he said before closing the door for you. “I really don’t wanna be the one dragging your ass out of a mess.”

“Don’t worry, I’m a safe driver.”

“Hope your class doesn't suck.”

“Hope your shift is just saving cats from trees and helping elderly cross the street.” You avoided the Q-word, an old superstition from all dispatchers and first responders. “See ya, Buckley.”

+++

“I don’t think I can do it, that’s the problem,” you poured another glass of wine.

“Why not? I mean, what’s wrong with that?” Maddie picked up another bite of the cheesecake slice you ordered for girl’s night.

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that is gonna be, I don’t know, the third time I’ll ask for a reschedule, and I really don’t wanna do it!” You stored the wine bottle in the corner, still yapping about your latest quest.

“C’mon, Brains, you had your reasons. I bet he won’t say no.”

“But if he does? Like, he definitely hates me now.”

“I bet Buck would never hate you.”

“The student who keeps… Wait a damn minute, since when are we talking about Buck?”

“I thought you were talking about him all along?” Maddie grabbed her glass, hiding her knowing smirk behind the dark liquid.

“What made you feel like I was talking about it?” She tried to walk away from you, but you caged her on her seat. “No, Maddie, you’re not pulling this trick on me.”

“You really didn’t notice him giving you the special Buckley treatment? The heart eyes? Are you blind or something?”

“No? Because you’re literally making that up.”

“You’re definitely a woman of science, because you won’t notice something until it’s right into your face, with proofs and everything.” Maddie stared at something over your shoulder, probably in the direction of Buck’s place. “Oh God, he’s gonna kill me.”

“You should worry about me killing you, not him. Buck wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“You’re right.” And then she clocked you. “And you have feelings for him too, don’t you?”

You thanked God for whoever was banging at your door. You walked away from Maddie’s question and ended up face to face with May.

“Did you tell her already?” She was holding a box of goodies and looked into Maddie.

“Tell me what?”

“I did, because you’re late. Now you gave her the perfect way out.” Maddie shook her head.

“Oh no, now that I’m here,” May stole your wine glass, took a sip and sat by your kitchen counter, “thank you for that, no one is escaping.”

“I hate you, guys.” You considered the idea of running to Buck’s and asking for shelter, but it would just prove their point. You closed the door and sighed, “I think you’re out of your mind if you really believe he has a crush on me. And to answer your question,” you walked back to the kitchen, getting a clean wine glass, “No, I don’t have feelings for Buck. Are we on good terms now? Yes, but that doesn’t mean I like him.”

“Never saw someone tiptoe around the word friends so much,” May was definitely Athena’s daughter because she knew how to come for the neck. “And you don’t like him? Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“No, I don’t. Yeah, we are friends, but I’m kinda seeing someone else now,” you confessed.

“Oh, are you?” Maddie had her doubts, because you were only bringing it up after being confronted about Buck.

“Yes, it’s a guy from one of my classes. We’ve been studying together, having a few coffees between classes, he’s nice.”

“What’s his name?” May had her phone on hand. “C’mon, Brains.”

“Stephen. He’s getting a PhD in Statistics,” you told them. “He’s nice, and I think we’re having an official date next tuesday.”

Maddie and May whispered for a few seconds, pointing to the phone screen. You stood there, chewing the sweets and drinking big sips of the wine. Even if Buck had feelings for you… Were you lying to yourself? No, you and Stephen had something going on. At least you thought so.

“Tell us everything about Stephen!” May didn’t sound convinced.

So you did. You told them how he was kind enough to lend his notes from one of the classes you missed, then suggested you should study together in the library, and as a thank you gesture, you ended up buying coffee for him before your study sessions. You were texting each other very frequently, and he asked if you wanted to go to this italian cantina on one of your days off. How could you say no?

“Ok, but you noticed he resembles Buck, right?” May kept rolling his Instagram posts. “You’re lying to yourself, girl.”

“Yeah, because of all the DNA combinations, Buck is the only one allowed to have those features. Like c’mon, May, now you’re just making things up.” You rolled your eyes. “And, like, Stephen has dark brown eyes, he’s not like Buck.”

“Oh poor off brand Buck,” she stole a cherry from the cake slice. “Girl, be serious.”

“May, he genuinely seems like a nice guy.” You were almost saying ‘thank you’ to Maddie when she added, “Are you sure you’re not using him as a way to avoid Buck?” You wished the baby Jee good luck because she was worse than any friend you had. Come on, how could she do that to you?

“What? No! Please, that’s absurd.” You assumed your serious pose, both hands on the kitchen counter, “I don’t have feelings for Buck, we are just friends. And I think you’re making this up, he doesn’t have feelings for me. He’s just being Buck.” Every time you said those words, you were trying really hard to believe them. “Are you both happy now?”

They traded a very long and silent look and smiled.

“No, but you do you, girl.” May put her phone away and opened another box of desert. “Just don’t call me when you finally come into realization.”

“Geez, you look just like your mom right now,” you pointed, the Athena stare taking over her face. “You can say you told me so if that happens. But again, it’s not gonna happen. Any final words, Maddie?”

She laughed and poured another glass of wine, “You’re gonna learn pretty quickly that the Buckley’s don’t give up until they get what they want.”

a/n: hi guys! sorry for taking so long to post this new chapter — i wasn’t feeling well, so i took a break from writing and everything else. but i’m back! i’m cooking something related go this chapter (thanks to @live-love-be-unique request, you were so spot on casey), and the following two chapters are already drafted on my notes. hope everyone’s doing ok, soon enough we will get more 9-1-1 content! see y’all very soon! oh wait, also, shout out to my love @munsonsreputation for helping me with proofreading and cheering me up when i decided to face my fears and write 💙 love you babeeee

[inbarfink]

A lot of 'Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared' is built upon a sort of inherent surrealism in young children’s edutainment. Because the thing is that for a lot of those shows it’s more important to, well, entertain-slash-educate the target audience of Literal Toddlers than it is to present a coherent world and story. DHMIS just takes this sort of dream-like world that is created as a result of these priorities and reframes it in a serious manner for an adult audience as an element of horror and/or tension. One example is the ages of the characters.

In a lot of those sorts of shows, preschool-and-under-puppet-shows (and sometimes cartoon shows), the ages of the puppet characters are kinda abstract. Again, the main priority isn’t really to make them feel like an accurate representation of a person who could exist in the real world. The ages of a lot of these characters is basically “young enough so that their emotional maturity and worldview is relatable to our preschool target audience, but old enough so that they can go on various misadventures that are also entertaining to our preschool audience without the worry of stuff like parental supervision”. 

So these characters have the same presumed understanding of the world as the children in the audience, usually need to be taught basic concepts and live-action adults would generally interact with them in a similar way one would a child - but on the other hand they usually treat themselves as a separate category from the live-action children they might also interact with, and are allowed to do a whole bunch of stuff an actual live-action kid on that same show wouldn’t be allowed to do -

Like drive vehicles -

Or work with heavy machinery - 

Or cook -

Or generally just live unsupervised without it being a big deal.

So yeah, the DHMIS trio all kinda live on different points of this spectrum of Ambiguously Childlike Puppets. They primarily interact with ‘teachers’ who explain to them basic concepts most adults would understand, and who generally regard them in a condescending manner (even when these teachers seem like children themselves).

When Yellow Guy meets Lesley, she also addresses him as one would a child. The existence of the Big Boy and Bigger Boy Rooms imply that our protagonist’s floor might be actually called something like the “Little Boys Room”. But they all have some aspects that make this reading a bit complicated, just in different ways.

Yellow Guy feels like the most ‘childlike’ puppet. He has the most simpleminded and naive worldview, the one who is most likely to go along with the ‘lessons’ of the teachers. Even when he becomes fully-charged and thus turns into the most intelligent and emotionally-mature character in the entire show - characters like the Teachers, the Big and Bigger Boys and Lesley all address him like a surprisingly clever kid instead. Plus he dresses in the most obviously childlike way. And possibly the most important factor, he has a father who is significantly taller and bigger than him -

Which definitely implies one is a child and another is an adult.

But… not only is he, urm, ‘recruited’ to a factory job. But he explicitly worked exactly 40 years until his retirement. With the ‘default retirement age’ in the UK being around 66 years, that might instead imply Yellow is in his mid-to-late 20’s instead. Plus, despite the implications that he is a child due to being considerably shorter than Roy - as an old man with a wife and child of his own, he actually remained the exact same size as his younger self. 

Which would imply that whatever Yellow Guy is a child or an adult, he is at least adult-sized-enough for his ‘species’.

He is also ‘recruited’ as the ‘Mummy’ in Lily and Todney’s family.

And his fantasy (memory?) of Mulhoven, he sees himself as living on his own. 

Red Guy, meanwhile, is on the other end of the spectrum. With his adult-human-like physique and very non-cartoon voice - it’s pretty intuitive to read him as an adult. Continuing the whole Roy Point, Red Guy is consistently shown as being around the same size as other adult ‘Red Guys’ - if not actually on the taller side of things.

And he is seen holding an ‘adult’ job not just in ‘Jobs’ (which you can argue is just some sort of Briefcase-powered pocket dimension where child labor is legal) but also in the ‘real world’ segments of Dreams…. Which, well, has a higher chance of being Actually Real, at the very least.

‘Dreams’ also shows a picture of him graduating from... somewhere? 

Plus, he tends to talk back to the teachers more. Which makes him feel more like an adult being condescended to. But then again, the affectations of an adult or a child being condescended too can be quite similar. At the end of the day, the primary things that make his adulthood ambiguous is that he does sometimes need basic concepts explained to him -

And that he does generally regard the other puppets, including the much more childish Yellow Guy as his peers. Even after arguing that he should be the ‘father figure’ of the household, he still ends up calling Yellow his ‘brother’.

And Duck is in sort of an interesting position, on one level he is more ‘adult-y’ than Red Guy, but on another level he is just as childish as Yellow Guy.

Physically he is even shorter than Yellow Guy, and his voice is much too cartoony to peg him as a child or an adult. He ALSO has a graduation photo....

His sense of fashion, his hobbies (reading the newspaper and doing the crossword) and even his chair of choice (a rocking-chair) are all pretty adult, or even old-man-like (compare Yellow Guy’s childish little stool, and Red Guy’s relatively neutral sofa). 

But he also likes the same show as the very childish Yellow Guy (although it is a Wallace and Gromit parody and that’s really an all-ages franchise, although it IS notable that it's Red Guy who thinks it's boring and predictable). He is pretty likely to push back against the teachers, although mostly when their lessons clash against his own ego. A behavior that is both mature and immature at the same time. In general with most of what Duck does, it's not necessarily easy to peg his behavior between an insecure grown-up or a child trying to act like an adult.

For example, the ‘Memories’ sequence in ‘Death’ has this memory of Duck ‘telling Yellow Guy about the military’. 

Yellow Guy’s words and their positioning is deliberately meant to invoke a specific cultural image of, like, a father or grandfather telling a child about their service. But what Duck is actually ‘telling’ Yellow about is just a very childish and uninformed gushing about military might. ("They're invincible!")

I guess my biggest point is the way this ambiguity can be used as part of DHMIS’ atmosphere of unease. It’s like… no matter how you read the ages of the characters, their situation is utterly fucked up - just in different ways.

If all of the puppets are all adults, then the way they have been robbed of their agency and the absolute lack of control they have over their own life becomes even more disturbing. The condescending and controlling way the teachers tend to treat them becomes even worse. Especially how they have been convinced of their own inability to do anything on their own. See, Yellow and Duck's apprehension about taking the car for a ride in "Transport":

It's just us three! We can't just... do stuff, us three. Can we?

I told you, you shouldn't try and do something without a little... thing telling you how to do it.

This isn’t just about the car - the point is that Duck says “try and do something”. Meaning anything. There is really nothing Duck can imagine the trio can do that they can do alone without the supervision of an ‘authority figure’. This would already be pretty fucked-up if they were kids, but as adults it’s an even darker situation. No wonder their life is so bleak and terrifying. 

If one is to read the puppets as kids instead, then it is also pretty disturbing how much they are left to their own devices. I mean, yeah, their life is robbed of all agency - but they lack any sort of real adult emotional support. Kids don’t just need adults to Teach Stuff to them or Stop Them From Doing Wrong Things, they need general advice and help and support and reassurance and role models and adult kindness and the DHMIS Trio doesn’t get any of this.

The characters’ utter isolation from anyone who isn’t a ‘teacher’ is already pretty fucked-up if they’re adults - but if you see them all as kids, it’s even darker. No one can help them mitigate pressures during interpersonal conflicts, no one to comfort and take care of them when things get rough, no positive example they can aspire and emulate. They all basically have to alternate being the ‘responsible adult’ for each other. And if they are all kids, this is really dark. No wonder they and their relationships are so fucked-up.

And if you see only some of them as kids, like for example, I think the most popular fan interpretation is that Yellow Guy’s a kid and the other two are adults? I think it is a valid read of the situation but that also comes with it’s own layer of fucked-upness with the power dynamics now at play. Like, every time Duck or Red Guy mistreat Yellow Guy, it’s not just them being assholes. They’re being assholes to a child, when they are the adults who are - by default of being the only adults consistently around in his life - are responsible for.

And no matter how you’d try and shake it, it’ll always come off pretty fucked-up. Like, if you have Red Guy as a Token Kid then it’s a matter of a child being forced into a Responsible Adult position basically by being the most grounded person in the household. If Duck's the only adult than, like, oh god who put THIS guy in charge of taking care of two children? And so on and so on… 

 No matter which path you take, it’s always very dark, and very DHMIS…

[ibelieveinvillainsupremacy]

Oooooh!! I have an idea! How about a pitch black x reader where (Y/N) is totally Gen Z, so nothing really scares them and it drives Pitch INSANE.

Reader is so desensitized that anything Pitch tries to pull they just brush it off or think it’s funny!

Omg first request on my AU <33

Of course! Sounds so cool ^^

(After a lot of time i start writing again qwq)

Before starting, here's a little context on this AU:

I was inspired by @seaslugfanclub Disney Villains/ y/n park assistant concept, I thought something.

What if there was another company (generic name supposedly) that to go against this incredible idea of the Disney Parks to make the Villains turn into actual people decided to do the same thing with non- Disney Villains as well?

And this other y/n had to take care of them, because they are also very chaotic without a lead of some kind...

my most recent post includes way more villains i got obsessed with, so check out the list if you want to request me some asks!

Now, let's go <33

The Disney Parks had made such a smart move on making their bad guys come to life, so their most brilliant rival decided to do same thing.

But how to make their choice not sound like a copy of their rivals?

Easy.

Let's include multiple animated universes and let them come to life together!

Unfortunately for Y/N, the park attendant that has to reunite them all together and "take care" of their actions,

(no kids or human was harmed in this, writer of this confirms! at least not yet),

that wasn't an easy job. Not at all.

Don't get this wrong, the newest addition to the park really enjoyed villains of all kind (and despite not being accepted by the other park) she gladly wanted to work at this new one. Yeah, wanted.

Because the poor human didn't know tha chaos that was about to happen.

One of the villains that was a pain in the ass to tolerate was the lord of nightmares himself.

Now, normally one would be a little bit, at least for a moment, scared of what that man had in mind.

Well, let's just say that Y/N was one of those incredible (and so incredibly frustrating) humans that wasn't scared of the tricks and literal creatures Pitch could materialize out of nowhere.

Spiders? No, the park assistant wouldn't even look at them.

Clowns? You'll get a laugh and a few looks that seem to say "Not today, big guy"

Anything that the obscure could think about would never work.

"After months in your company, I'm still not sure on the reason why you are even able of seeing me, without any profound and maniacal fear in that head of yours."

Oh. That day you were literally head in the clouds, well not fully. You were trying to separate Rasputin and Rothbart (those bickering old-) that were for the thousand time arguing on who was the most powerful, had the coolest song, which one was almost going to be part of Disney (let's just think that he didn't succeed). And who had to help that mess? Guess.

So now you had another problem to fix. A big one.

You knew that he was a little disappointed from that look on his ashen face, so you had to fix that.

"Well, I actually am afraid of things, Pitch, but if I actually start panicking at any nightmare creation of yours, this park would be absolutely turned to dust. And I don't know where you'll go without me, and my frustrating emotionless face."

The villain then gave a small nod in your direction.

"Can you at least be scared next time? Just a little bit?"

"Would that make you happy?"

"I think so."

"Then alright big guy. I'll show you my terrified face, promise."

"I can't wait to see it."

[weebsinstash]

So fandom specific posts are to follow eventually, but this is going to be a general concept. I've been thinking A LOT on alternative takes to the red string of fate trope and I started wondering about a hypothetical idea of the strings changing in appearance based on the current health and mental well being of the person they're attached to, even to the point where the strings do not properly appear if you're in bad mental health

For example, some of these AUs have the string where you have to think about it to summon it whenever and you can follow it as long as you want, and some have the string only appear when you are within a certain proximity to your other half

First and foremost, what if, when your string appears, you could make it vanish again at will. Not like permanantly, but like, say, if your string keeps appearing and you don't want it to be used to track your physical location, you have to concentrate similar to using a specific muscle and you can "force them back" so they can't find you. Just imagining the growing frustrations of a yandere who has to wait until you fall asleep to even make progress on your actual location because otherwise it's, them summoning your string for about .5 seconds before you notice and shut that shit off immediately, like two people on opposite ends of the room both toggling switches for the same light

But anyways, back to the alternative appearance strings, could you then imagine a scenario where, your yandere has their string appear and after a certain length, it changes colors for the rest of the strand, signifying your string and your own well-being, and the color immediately signifies something incredibly serious and worrying to them that immediately has them speeding to your side to check on you even if they've never met you before, regardless of if it's a couple blocks over or if they have to follow that string across the world. And then you can pair that with the "string blocking" idea and you have an extremely frantic yandere who is freaking out, "my soulmate is in trouble, why won't they let me come help them?! This is why they need me!!!" Amd they KNOW you are deliberately holding them off so, whatever aspects from that, whether it's a sadistic yandere who is amused by your spunk, or a nurturing yandere who automatically takes this as affirmation that you're just a sweet nervous little bean who needs their guidance, look at you being so scared of your own soulmate you silly little goose--

I only have two alternative colors, technically three different ideas total, but, I considered the idea of someone's string slowly turning white and becoming more visibly frayed if someone is seriously ill and or dying, eventually snapping and disappearing upon true death, and I thought it would be interesting if this "physical health symptom" also manifested for suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation. Your yandere has your half of the string appear connected to theirs and they IMMEDIATELY know you're in trouble and they come to find you at all costs and you're... so depressed you can't even be excited to meet them and may even still want to die and just tell them to go away. Your yandere all but kicks down your door, "honey I'm here and I'm ready to love you!

Continuing from that last point, the other idea I'm really growing attached to that is probably my favorite is the idea of the BLUE string of fate: a string that appears on someone who is currently not within the right mental state to be in love or needs some sort of help or time to heal from a trauma before they are ready. Your other half tries to summon their string? The other end of it cuts off mid-air and hangs off their hand, leading nowhere, useless, unable to be followed, only a couple inches of blue their only hint if they even have a soulmate at all, but it can't lead them to you, driving them crazy who you are and where you are

I also considered the idea for alternate colors if two people are soulmates but they have, shall we say, an alternative dynamic? Like you could also technically use the blue string (although i personally think green or elsewise for this example would work better) for like, two aromantic people who are platonic soulmates or that have some incredibly strong nonromantic nonsexual love for someone? Or if you had, say, an aroace or just aro person and their soulmate was an allosexual of some kind. Idk it just sounds intriguing to play around with the concepts since you know, there's more than just romantic and platonic love and it can be an extremely nuanced feeling and love also doesn't inherently translate into sexual desires as another aspect and in this essay I will--

Either way, I feel like once I interact with certain tropes for another years, I wanna start throwing some seasonings in there. Spice up this bitch and saute it. I'm out here giving ABO a broader range of vocalizations to the point Omega can make clicking "distress call" noises to signal for help when trapped or injured. I'm over here "what if scenting could be done with any physical touch and the nature of the scent can be intentionally controlled to convey certain feelings so your yandere Alpha could give you a friendly shoulder pat and suddenly you're walking around with Don't Touch My Mate Or I'll Fucking Kill You scent all over you and you have no idea"

I just. Final thing. Can you imagine being in the same room as your yandere and, THEY KNOW they feel some sort of attraction to you they can't explain, but you dont really talk or make any effort to interact with them, and one day you overhear your yandere talking about how they don't have a soulmate yet and they summon their string and half of it is blue and here you are, subtly sneaking out of the room, staring down at your own cobalt thread and wondering, "am I.... THEIR...?"and deciding to intentionally keep it a secret, but eventually you two grow close enough or, someone says something to you that opens your heart and let's you love yourself enough that, a tiny voice inside of you is like "yeah... I WOULD like a partner to spend time and laugh with, i want to koge and im ready to take the risk" and your yandere literally watches your string, and by extension the string on the other end of theirs, completely change colors and finally fully connect, so then you have the slow burn, kind of one sided pining that absolutely explodes in intensity once your yandere finds out it was you all along

Just might be a couple of fun concepts to play around with in the future. You guys know I love drama...

[catlover-multifandom]

(in a free mood again here we gooooo)

Free canon moments I think about a lot

Rin writing “fuck” in the elementary school yard

mecha salmon roe

the mr steal yo mako face (you know the one.)

Steve the cat existing

Haru and nagisa working at wcdonald’s or whatever it’s called in the freeverse

romio mentioning florida

haru makoto asahi and kisumi having a hangout in asahi’s apartment (at least I think it was his, it was in a df episode)

tomadoburiranchinburiranti!

makkou the dog

🎶 tabidachi no asa ni miageru sora ni 🎶

Haru and seijuro being friends

Haru’s mascot obsession (relatable im also obsessed with yuru kyara now)

Rei in the novelization

“Nagisa’s mermaid” video and then it got booed when they accidentally played baby videos of haru and makoto lol

Nagisa’s sister’s sketch friend that isn’t quite her boyfriend

Kaede coming back from the concept art grave in s3

the high of s3 in general because I remember counting down the days for it to come out and oh boyyyyyyy summer 2018 has such a special place in my heart. pure euphoria!!

Rin giving Sousuke a koala shirt

MATCHING FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

everyone pointing out that Rin has cleavage

“no chips at the pool” **SHOTS FIRED**

Makoto’s mixer nightmare

Rei getting drunk on chocolate

the fact that makoto haru Nagisa and rei would have sleepovers together and haru gets so happy to be with them and he fell asleep early HES SO CUTE

Haru and asahi getting worried thinking makoto would fall for mlm scams in Tokyo

Haru’s profile picture being Iwatobi chan

the squid festival drama cd track and Rei’s puns from s1 that everyone ignored

Haru and Albert’s friendship happening because they just like the same fish and they don’t need words to eat mackerel together

Rin crying over the rat movie

shizuru’s existence in general. he’s so funny and silly and he looks like makoharu had a child

the mackerel body pillow that makoto gave haru for his birthday

continuing off the last one: the team thinking haru turned into a mackerel and nagisa telling makoto he has to kiss him to make him back to normal 💀

the scene in s1e1 where Nagisa kicks the can to scare makoto

Rei being uptight and serious and very professional man™ and then gradually loosening up and being less guarded and being his genuine silly smart self and having fun and you can see how much love he has for everyone as the show goes on… and the love and genuine affection he has for his friends keeps increasing even when you thought his heart was already the biggest it could get. it gets so much bigger. and the fact that he learned to swim and got to nationals for an individual event in 3 years. Rei I love you no one could ever make me dislike you you’re a beautiful butterfly

the general babygirlification of rin matsuoka as the series progresses

free mastering the “character that is a jerk at first but the second they’re forgiven/not a jerk you absolutely love them to pieces” archetype (rin, sousuke, hiyori!)

haru being an old man when it comes to technology: “sorry I haven’t looked at my phone in 2 weeks”

perfect body

haru almost dying like 10 times throughout the series

haru giving makoto his gold medal in that one artwork AAAAAAGGGHHHHWJFJEDJEKS

more of a fandom thing, but the whole makoto train scare back when fs1 came out

in df when ryuji is trying to teach haru and makoto translates it to haruspeak, they show you makoto smiling when haru turns around and half his face is cut off from the screen because he’s shorter than makoto lololol

Haru trying to escape the premises the second he sees kisumi

the scene of haru driving in Tokyo and makoto freaks out the entire time… guys I think they somehow got actual footage of me driving when my mom is in the passenger seat

the reigisa montage before their races at nationals in df. MY HEART

the entire show honestly… if there’s one thing you got from this post, it’s that I will never be free of free (I’m perfectly happy to keep it that way)

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Snooza Koopa

Debut: Super Mario Sunshine

Whenever you see sea turtles in media, they are always very well respected! We all love them and are in awe of their majesty, their beauty, their longevity, and more! And a baby sea turtle is such a classic symbol of courageous vulnerability, a precious, helpless little angel who you would be heartless not to root for. Sea turtles and their eggs feel untouchable, off-limits.

And that makes it so very weird that Super Mario Sunshine is one of the only places I have seen sea turtles and their eggs presented in an entirely NEGATIVE light!

Snooza Koopas only appear in one episode of the game, where Mario must kill them because they are eating some flowers. But it is also much more nuanced than that! Silly.

These Koopas are chewing on the roots of sunflowers who are PEOPLE, causing them to wilt! People aren’t supposed to wilt! Stop that! You’re scaring me! I like these sunflower people. It is always nice when Mario gets more Friends. But back to the Enemy of the day...

Snooza Koopas are, as it turns out, an invasive species on the island of Pinna Park, and not only are they not supposed to be eating these sunflowers, but they displaced the native Yoshis! Probably because they look like Yoshi eggs themselves. Maybe they used this resemblance to get close to the Yoshis, and then eat their eggs? Maybe that’s even a Yoshi egg shell they’re wearing as a helmet! I know I would exit the establishment if this exact situation happened to me! And so, Mario must cull this population, and hopefully there are many more out there in the proper environments.

I just love seeing that sea turtles can be Koopas, too! Like in Minecraft! Where Koopas are also sheep.

-END OF ACT I-

-ACT II-

What a creature! What fun. So unique from the Koopas we most commonly know of! The enemies in Sunshine were created by Bowser Jr. using the Magic Paintbrush, giving an actual, in-universe reason for them looking how they do. They gave lore to this Mario game. These Mario enemies! These WEIRD Mario enemies!!!

AND I DON’T LIKE IT! GRRR

Allow me to explain. Snooza Koopa showcases a great example of why I don’t like the concept! If Bowser Jr. created a new goopa Koopa like this to mess with the Yoshis, that would be fine. That would make sense. A messy little mischief.

But the Yoshis in this game were ALSO made by Bowser Jr., according the the Japanese version of the Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia! In a vacuum, this also makes sense, since they dissolve in water. But then let’s remember the whole situation of Yoshis and Snooza Koopas. Yoshis lived on the island, and Snooza Koopas displaced them. This means that Bowser Jr. must have created these Yoshis- long before the events of the game, and multiple generations ago, if they already have a natural history on the island!- and then created Snooza Koopas to drive away his own earlier creation. It just does not make sense!

And another example is the Bloopers of this game! Yes, they look different from standard Bloopers, but we know there can simply be variants of the same enemy type. More importantly, though, Piantas are shown to catch and EAT these Bloopers, as well as Jumping Bloopers! If they were made of goop, I do not believe they would be able to die and be dried without turning back into their original goopy state. Also, they spit ink, not goop, which, yeah! They are squids! Ink is an absolutely perfect way to have a non-goop-based creature still spread A goop, to keep the goop mechanics going.

And we know our dear Cataquack, who is confirmed to be native to Isle Delfino, and who even would reappear in later games, unlike other Sunshine-exclusive enemies! Despite this, they can turn into goop when defeated in some methods, which just makes the whole thing more confusing, and maybe even kind of meaningless if you ask me. Maybe Goop is just some kind of primordial ooze and even Mario is made of it. Even you are!

So what do I think the deal with Goop is? I think it may come from Piranha Plants naturally! Petey Piranha is heavily associated with Goop, and he is not exclusive to Sunshine, and has been said to be a MUTANT Piranha Plant. I think he was part of Sunshine not because he was made from Goop, but because he is perfect for a Goop-related job!

We also have Proto Piranhas, shown above, which are Piranha Plants born from and entirely made of Goop, even more emphasizing the relation between the two! I’m not sure I think Piranha Plants are all made from Goop to begin with- they lay eggs, silly!- but I absolutely think they are associated with and naturally produce it, and Petey’s mutation allowed him to produce extreme quantities of it. Surely, then, the Magic Paintbrush itself was created as a result of extensive Piranha Plant research by E. Gadd!

And thus is the end of my Goop Rant. Thank you so much for to reading my post. I would like to hear YOUR Goop Takes!

[starlit1daydream]

Gordon Freeman's classpect: and why you're all wrong about it

well forgive me for the hostile-sounding title there, but as it stands i'm yet to see a single other person with this take.

the unanimous agreement for gordon's title seems to be heir of hope - which i will give credence to as making a lot of sense at face value. the heir is the class of the typical 'hero' and hope is the aspect of belief, faith, deficiation, angelic symbolism. on paper, it works perfectly for a man held in such high regard as a saviour and liberator.

but what of gordon's personality? what little of it we see, of course.

the heir of hope argument applies a classpect to gordon not as a person, but as a concept.

gordon freeman the concept is an heir of hope, for sure.

but gordon freeman, the man?

gordon freeman, the scientist who was late to his first day on the job? whose brief glimpses into his personality include blowing up a man's casserole for no clear reason and solving every problem with a crowbar?

the gordon freeman who has been jumping from trauma to trauma for twenty years under the machinations of a sinister interdimensional bureaucrat?

hear me out here.

gordon freeman is a bard of void.

now, i should probably explain my thoughts on the bard class and the void aspect before going any further, since this entire take hinges on my very specific take on both things.

in my eyes, the bard (the passive destroyer) is somebody who initially ghosts adherence to their opposing aspect, until a traumatic incident or dire crisis suddenly pushes them into an influx of their real aspect. they change their tune from passively destroying their aspect in themselves to passively destroying through their aspect. bards are capricious, unpredictable people who are often cowardly, avoidant or lazy in their ways.

the aspect of void, the antithesis of light, deals with the eldritch and the unknown. void is shadow, void is doubt and obsfucation, it is by its very nature unknowable and exists in the dark corners of one's mind. void is narrative irrelevance given (a lack of) form.

so, how does this fit into gordon freeman's narrative?

let's get into his head.

gordon freeman is a man who, prior to the black mesa incident, has lived his life adhering to knowledge and science. he's studied, got a degree, probably quite passionate about science. the statistics, the thirst for knowledge and understanding, all of this paints a picture of light.

light players are the ultimate students, as the extended zodiac says, they are the knowledge-seekers who wish to understand the world around them and comprehend the most fortuitous path better than any other.

the guy shows up late to his first day on the job. a man with more degrees than should be feasible and he can't even show up to work on time. this is the first hint of gordon being a bard, it's an incredibly lazy and capricious action that also hints at his passive destruction of light through his lack of fortune.

and it's that fateful test that changes everything - you all know the one i mean.

the one that suddenly inundates him with void. suddenly, gordon's world is unknowable, incomprehensible, he is a slave to the plot and forced to keep driving forward a narrative to which he ultimately has no say in. it's another example of the traits of a bard, who generally do seem to be reduced to narrative devices. (we see this a lot with gamzee.)

gordon is consumed among the alien and eldritch, and emerges from black mesa's ruins anew. a man whose existence is defined by contradiction, doubt, obfuscation, and everything that void stands for.

we see it again and again throughout the series. his very existence within the combine's rigidly defined, meticulous and mechanical empire defies principle. he is the anticitizen, his presence within their world is a contradiction just by his very being. he is undocumented, an anomaly that shouldn't be. and that scares the shit out of them.

and it should! because, as a bard of void should, gordon destroys their empire through void. his very existence is enough to spark the revolution (which in itself is tied to the aspects of hope and rage) and the destruction he brings about is through his nature as the anticitizen. the contradiction, the hole in their logic. he casts doubt upon the system that they've forced into place and he does so while continually being surrounded by the eldritch and the unknown.

he does so while in servitude to the eldritch, actually. i think that g-man himself is a player of space (to be more specific, i think he is a lord) but i think that there is also a lot of void symbolism within the g-man's character and his 'employers' more specifically.

and you know what really cinches my argument?

gordon freeman, player of void, embodiment of the unknown and the obsfucation, of the silence and emptiness, of the doubt and darkness?

he never utters a single word.

i will revise this entire thing once i wake up tomorrow because it's currently 10pm for me and this is going to look incredibly lazily worded/formatted when i get up in the morning

but for now i suppose you can all take this rambling mess of uncoordinated madness and tell me how wrong i am

[istadris]

You told me you had Antasma headcanons. Go. Nuts. And tell me EVERYTHING!!!

Okay first of all : I think Antasma's potential is severely unexplored.

Granted, that's on me for expecting too much depth from a Mario villain. Still, it annoyed me that Antasma has such a cool design and concept...yet I was frustrated with how his comical "screeching bat with a Dracula accent" side was really played up despite being the main antagonist...

And then the betrayal. Again, it's a Mario game but even then, was I the only one frustrated by how obvious it was that Bowser wasn't going to share the victory with anyone ? It's presented as a surprise, but come on Antasma, even if Bowser was willing to share, you weren't exactly subtle with your manipulation.

Yet I love this character so much!! Onirism and nightmares are such fascinating themes and Antasma vs the Pi'ilo explores them, but it could have been pushed even further!!

In general I think Antasma's flaws are M&L: Dream Team's general flaws : amazing concept, but the story takes a lot of efforts to get to the interesting part and some of the jokes could have replaced by more interesting moments.

And it's interesting how it sometimes feels like Antasma and Dreambert have some kind of history; at least that's how I see all the moments where Dreambert tries to appeal to Antasma, and even how he pities him once Bowser turns on him...or maybe that's just me reading too much into details.

ANYWAY regarding Luigi and Antasma, I also have a LOT to tell about them :

I find it very, very interesting that even before any of the characters had any hints of Antasma & Dreambert, Luigi dreamed about him...and not just Antasma in his bat form, but in his most powerful one ! And it's never explained ! how did it happen ?? Did Antasma feel Luigi's "attunement" to the Dream World and try to exploit it ? Does Luigi has divination abilities ? We just don't know !

Another little frustration I have is that Antasma never pays any attention to Luigi...even if he's the key to fight him back. Without Luigi, Mario wouldn't be able to get to the Dream World, nor would he have enough power to fight the bat king. (Technically, Luigi is also responsible for Antasma's return, since he opened the first portal by taking a nap in the Pi'ilo castle...)

And it drives me insane ! But it makes sense at the same time, everyone always overlooks Luigi, except Mario, who knows his brother is the strongest ally he can count on! So while Mario isn't suprised one iota by it, their ennemies are always baffled by the brother's victories relying on Luigi.

But for real, all Bowser and Antasma had to do was to kidnap Luigi while he was asleep and either wake him up and force him to stay awak (and trap Mario in the Dream World), or keep him asleep but trigger effects by exposing him to elements that would slow Mario down...or just end his game. Like, the solution was there, guys.

Antasma's boss battle is my fave of the entire game because not only does his musical theme SLAP, he also has interesting moves...and he can PUT SOMEONE TO SLEEP IN THE DREAM WORLD!!! And he can CAPTURE DREAMY LUIGI !!!! Something that is NEVER done before this moment !! He changes the rules ! He rewrites the game !! How to not like it !!

But for an eventual AU where Antasma comes back, I have two very different ideas of how it could go :

Option A : the Redemption Road.

The battle left Antasma so weakened he barely survives in the Dream World. He doesn't even have enough energy to be angry anymore. He's just wasting away, waiting for his end. He doesn't recognize this part of the Dream World and doesn't care. He's dying, and for the first time, he's scared.

But what he doesn't know is that he's not trapped in the typical Dream World...but in Luigi's dreams. Luigi who has had strange dreams for weeks where he feels there's something with him whenever he dreams, but can't find it.

As his sleep gets worse and worse, he ends up returning to Pi'ilo Island, hoping to get help from Dreambert. Except the prince is currently away or too busy, which bums him a bit. Thankfully one of the Pi'ilo accepts to help him, or maybe he just finds a petrified one who hasn't been freed yet and despite not having Mario with him, he decides to try and rescue them by himself.

...Oh waaaaait. What if that petrified Pi'ilo is actually Antasma ?

So Luigi travels in the Dream World...and finds Antasma, curled on himself, pathetic and near death. A miserable little bat.

Who immediately jumps on his face and tries to feed off him.

What ensues is Luigi first panicking, but being too kind to just abandon someone in need, (not to mention he DOESN'T want Antasma stuck in his dreams anymore!!!) and being forced to cooperate with the bat king to free him.

Of course it's a long and frustrating road...and yet for once, Antasma isn't threatened or confronted or betrayed. He's lonely, and not used to kindness, and he ends up slowly warming up to this fool.

Option B : The Smart Villain Road

Antasma manages to survive and goes into hiding, and plots his revenge...but this time, he's learned his lesson.

He's been right before about Bowser being a more useful ally because of his power. But he realizes that not only Bowser is too egoistical to ally with, but he isn't even the most powerful.

Instead, he focuses on Luigi. Luigi and his almost unique connection to the Dream World. Luigi who's been the powersource of Mario through the whole adventure. Luigi whose subconscious is able to change the layout of the Dream World. Luigi who can summon a huge version of himself, almost as powerful as the Dream Stone Spirit...

Luigi who, Antasma is convinced, is the key to his success.

So his plan this time is to get his hands on the younger Mario Bros. By hiring goons, or sneaking into Luigi's dreams, or kidnapping him himself, or allying with other villains again (*cough* King Boo and/or Dimention *cough*), he will do anything to finally taste this incredible, untapped power, and seize it for himself.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

it fucks me up that like. metal sonic used to have a ton of characterisation and just from his like ten lines in heroes had a ton of complexity and then he just got fucking ignored despite having the potential to easily be the best character in the franchise. like even back in cd his sprites were full of personality! he recreates sonics finger wag before the start of the race! he has his death animation! it’s cute! but it also shows from the start that he's obviously sentient and not a mindless machine. he's cocky and adrenaline-fuelled like sonic, but in a way devoid of any sense of kindness or empathy. and this is expanded upon beautifully in the ova! his characterisation is the absolute highlight of that movie and his suicide at the end is an extremely tragic but extremely fitting end to that version of him.

metal sonic's character is one defined by monomaniacal obsession. he is literally designed only to surpass sonic. from creation, he has known and he always has known he exists only in relation to sonic. he is designed after him, his personality is modelled on him, and he is programmed to view defeating him as his only worth. he's the ultimate character to rival sonic, because that’s all he exists for, in universe. he cannot conceive of an existence that is not devoted to destroying him. this is established as a character trait as early as the ova, and it’s one that’ll be expanded upon as the series progresses.

the ova explores the tragedy of that, but heroes, metal sonic's grand return after cd (after numerous really fucking cool appearances in spin-offs and being a major unlockable in sonic adventure dx bc he is cool and the best sonic character and I have no bias), explores the horror. in the ova, he allows himself to burn to spare sonic, but what if he doesn’t learn compassion and empathy? what if he's still the same cruel, pointlessly violent metal in cd? the metal sonic of the games would not sacrifice himself for sonic's sake. he wants nothing more than to defeat him. he despises him, yet in a way he also wants to be him. sonic is everything he cannot be. both in the sense that he beats him, again and again, but in that he has free will, in that he has friends, in that he has a life.

and, in his most sonic-like moment, metal sonic rebels against his programming.

but this metal sonic is not one that has learnt kindness, like the ova metal. he is angry. he knows nothing but destruction because he is destruction. and he never, ever gives up. he wants to prove to himself that he can defeat sonic, that it was his creator holding him back. that he can be better than eggman, that he can be better than sonic. that he can be sonic. that he is sonic. that the other hedgehog calling himself sonic is merely a fake.

metal sonic, in sonic heroes, is delusional. and not in the sense of “scary insane person woah!” ableist nonsense, he's genuinely, deeply lost in the grasp of a delusion. metal sonic's existence is one that will inevitably lead to severe mental illness. he's stuck in a cycle where he feels nothing but pain and can never achieve what he wants. the concept of metal sonic in heroes is terrifying in his rage, but even more horrific is the idea of being him. despite his arrogance, metal sonic is in pain, and his response to that is to lash out violently. and also to become god.

metal sonic upgrades himself to the point of godhood. he is angry, and he is scared, and he gives that away himself. he states he’s no longer afraid of anything after the upgrades- which leaves some pretty fucking depressing hints as to metal sonic's general mental state before heroes. and this drives him to the point of becoming an almost incomprehensibly powerful being. like canonically heroes metal sonic is one of the strongest beings in the series, he can copy the data and abilities of incredibly powerful beings permanently. he's at least got the strength of shadow and chaos combined which is fucking terrifying. and he loses.

he loses, because what he wants is not something he can get with outmatching sonic in speed and strength. what he deeply desires, though he cannot express it, is something else. personhood. metal sonic desperately asks why he cannot win, and sonic's response is. admittedly the very cheesy title drop of “because we're sonic heroes” but cheese aside, that ultimately sums up why metal sonic could not succeed. metal sonic does not have friends. he doesn’t have freedom or happiness or any sort of sense of self. he cannot ever truly achieve his goals, because to destroy sonic and become him are mutually incompatible. he's forever driven down a self destructive path, one way or the other. metal sonic's existence is, in and of itself, a tragedy.

and all of this is from thirty fucking minutes of screen time. including gameplay.

metal sonic is very obviously a character who takes heavy inspiration from the terminator franchise. and i fucking love terminator, for one, so that’s awesome. but two, the best terminator film will always be terminator 2 because it's as much an exploration of what it means to be human and the concept of fate as an action horror flick, and metal sonic as a character is also at his best when he's used to explore similar themes. he's a character chained to a fate he cannot change, a character so desperate for personhood that can never achieve it, and it’s what makes him so terrifying and intimidating. he's not just a mindless machine, nor coldly logical- he's desperate and has nothing to lose. he's such a formidable foe because he takes risks that are rash and irrational because he's so driven to the depths of his psyche he'd do anything to finally succeed. any competently programmed bot wouldn’t risk itself for an infinitesimal advantage, any mindless drone wouldn’t come up with half the shit metal does, but he is both extremely intelligent and suicidally desperate.

and then after heroes he just kinda became a cooler badnik. like, cool things have happened with him in spin-offs, and of all things 06 was originally planned to have continued his story after heroes as a playable character, but that was cut along with. like half the game. but it’s just sad the main series made such a compelling villain and then just went. “okay but what if we never use him again”.