#the closer they get to figure it out the more annoyed kim is at having to do his actual job to get money

[thecherrygod]

if i ever were to write anything for my robot hdb au the chapter in which harry finally gets a dick would be called "have you tried turning it on and off again?" and it would be a constant trial and error, it would end on the successful attempt but on a cliffhanger also

[reminiscingtonight]

arsenal, hoodies and hickies for tobin! (bonus if shes still playing for them and maybe dating someones sibling)

Spill The Tea (Alessia Russo x Press!Reader)

A/N: changed the req a bit bc there is no Tobin without Christen so I made the reader Christen’s sibling

“Is this something I’m going to need to tell Christen or can I trust you to be a responsible adult?”

There’s this thing with Tobin. Ever since she started dating your sister all those years ago, she’s really slipped into the role of the fourth older sister you don’t need. 

While she isn’t as nitpicky as Tyler and Christen or as interrogative as Channing, Tobin still liked to harp on you quite a lot. So you’ve heard this question come out of her mouth more times than you can count. And by now you know better than to expect Tobin to keep a secret from Christen.

You tilt your head towards her, a singular eyebrow raising up in question as your arms stay halfway through your training shirt. Of all times Tobin could’ve started a conversation of course she had to wait until you were quite literally trapped with nowhere to escape. 

“Why do you think I have anything to tell you?”

“You have a hickey the size of Maine on your neck.”

You follow her eyes down to your skin. Your still very bruised skin. 

The memory of mischievous eyes sparkling as you tried to sneak out this morning flashes clearly through your mind as you hastily pull on a neck warmer from your cubby.

You can still feel Tobin’s eyes on the side of your face as you try to busy yourself pulling on the last of your clothes. 

“You’re seeing someone, don’t lie.”

“And why do you think so?” You look up to see Tobin giving you a look. You roll your eyes. “Apart from the hickey.”

“You’re really going to make me play detective today?” When you don’t respond Tobin lets out an annoyed grunt. “Where to start? Well you’ve been sneaking in at 6 in the morning for the past couple of weeks.”

It’s not your fault you haven’t been given a drawer yet. Frankly the number of times you’ve stayed over should’ve already gotten you a place to store your things but Alessia’s been extremely paranoid about letting you leave traces of yourself at hers. Something about how her England teammates like coming over unannounced. A lot. Better to keep no trace of you at her place lest a blabbermouth blabbers too much.

“And changing your phone password? Not cool, dude.”

You cringe at the memory of Tobin storming into your room at half past twelve the other day, exasperated at the fact that a). you weren’t up and making her breakfast yet, and b). she couldn’t get into your phone to doordash some food.

You and Tobin shared everything. Cooking duties. The occasional snapback. Your phone passwords. But that last one was the first thing you changed when you started seeing Alessia. 

“And finally, this,” Tobin pokes at the light blue hoodie peeking out of your duffle, “is not yours.”

You try ducking under her arm to get out of the locker room but Tobin grabs a firm hold of your training top, jerking you back towards her.

You’re nose to nose now and the forward has no problem using her height advantage to stare you down. “I’ll ask again. Who have you been locking lips with?”

You scowl. “Well you’re playing detective today right? Guess.”

Tobin’s lips pinch shut, a displeased look on her face.

Before she can retaliate, a brief call of her name by Kim has Tobin turning away. When her hands loosen their hold, you bolt, taking full advantage of Tobin’s brief dip of attention.

Unbeknownst to you, a pair of blue eyes follow you out of the room.

It isn’t until you’re already stretching on the sideline that long legs catch up to you. A soft smile breaks onto your face at the sight of other girl, hands opening and closing as you mime at her to come closer for a kiss.

For a second you think Alessia's going to crumble to your demands. 

And then you see her panicked expression.

“Did Tobin figure out we’re dating?”

Sighing, you push yourself off the ground, taking care to brush grass off your legs. “No, Tobin’s smart but she isn’t that smart.”

Alessia gives you a look that has you wondering if she’s offended on the behalf of the striker. 

You roll your eyes before giving her a light shove. “Relax, all she saw was your hoodie. She’s not going to know it’s yours.”

Alessia’s eyes widen at the mention of the sweatshirt you snuck out of her house this morning. Usually it’s cute and all and she really does love seeing you in her clothes, but faced with the fact that it’s branded with the UNC logo on the front? Or the fact that Tobin knows you followed in Christen’s footsteps and went to Stanford instead of Chapel Hill? 

“My hoodie? Babe! Of course she’s going to know it’s mine!”

“Relax,” you repeat, hands coming up to rub at her tense shoulders. “There are four of you who played at UNC who are on the team now. She’ll be too busy trying to figure out if it’s you, Lotte, or Foxy to ever find the real culprit.”

If anything, your words only seem to agitate her more. Alessia slaps your hands away, arms crossing over her chest. “You’d rather Tobin think you’re dating Lotte or Em over me?”

Safe to say, any words you try to defend yourself with only digs you deeper into the hole.

Tobin’s pleasantly surprised to see you moping on the couch later that night.

.

It doesn't take as long as you’re expecting for Tobin to figure it out.

You’re doing your weekly check-in with your sister a couple days later when Christen’s face suddenly widens into a teasing smirk. 

“So Tobin tells me you have a new girlfriend.”

You resist the urge to fling your phone across the room. Instead, you do the mature thing and hang up the phone.

Christen doesn’t look impressed when she calls back and you pick up. 

“Oh don’t be a wuss. There’s nothing you can do without me knowing. So spill. Tell me all about her.”

 You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Really, Chris? This is what you want to talk about?”

Even from a continent away you can see the megawatt smile being sent your way. “Couldn’t take my number so you had to take out a girl who has it too, huh?”

Tobin cringes in her room when she hears the telltale sound of your phone crashing against the wall.

[juyeonszn]

CYBER SEX

PAIRING eric sohn x f!reader x kim sunwoo

WORD COUNT 3.11k

GENRES smut yktv

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, this is Literally Porn With Plot, gamer!eric, gamer!sunwoo, i’m so sorry but sunwoo is a bitchless loser incel until he’s not a bitchless loser incel, eric has Game literally and figuratively, jealous sunwoo 🤭, exhibitionism, voyeurism, phone/video call sex?, vaginal fingering, male masturbation, unprotected sex, going at it on eric’s gamer chair 💪 , a good amount of praise, degradation (the words dumb and slut) 🫨, soft dom!eric, mean? dom!sunwoo, sunwoo is a little mean at one point but i’m not apologizing 😁👍, pet name princess is used, creampie 🥸, sunwoo is an idiot, lmk if i missed anything!

SUMMARY eric is determined to show his best friend the benefits of having a girlfriend.

MORE hey… LMFOAOOO so i ended up finishing this in like… a day… 😭 what can i say ?1?1!1? when i have an idea, i Must stick with it <3 ANYWAY i got the inspiration for this after watching eric’s wv live on 09/25/23 and thus it has consumed my every waking thought since then ajejfwjdnen also shout out to reese to feeding my delusions and another shout out to doja cat for having the most out of pocket songs and titles bc she came in clutch fr 🤞 pls reblog if u enjoyed! i’m exhausted! (also this is not beta’d bc everyone was asleep and i also had to go to sleep so if there are any errors pls lmk)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble

“Eric.”

Silence. You hear nothing but the sound of his keyboard clacking and his mouse clicking under his fingers from where he sits at his desk. You exhale through your nose, rolling your eyes.

“Eric Sohn.”

Again, you’re given nothing to work with. He curses under his breath, something about him being outnumbered and needing a cover. You don’t even know what game he’s playing, just that he’s been playing it for over an hour. You’re starting to get annoyed.

What kind of boyfriend tells his girlfriend to come over and then plays his stupid online game instead of talking to her?

When you get out of a long day of work, you just want to relax. You don’t want to lay on your boyfriend’s bed all by yourself, forced to watch him play a game you didn’t care for, much less understand. You burn holes into the back of his head when he starts swearing at the screen, hovering over his chair and leaning closer to the PC.

“Youngjae!”

That finally catches his attention, pushing one side of his headset off so he can hear better. He keeps his eyes on the screen but turns his head towards you, humming in response. “What’s up, baby?”

“Is your girlfriend there?”

“Yeah dude, shut up.”

You recognize the other voice as belonging to his best friend, Kim Sunwoo. Your lips form a pout and you flop backward on his bed. “I’m bored. And I wanna cuddle.”

“After this round, I promise.” He smiles at you, returning his focus to the match he was in. His fingers move quickly on the same four backlit keys, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in concentration. From your perspective, it just looked like his character was running aimlessly. (Apparently he had an agenda.)

“Bruh, you said we were gonna play until we won one.” Sunwoo complains. Your mouth forms a scowl. No wonder the guy was still bitchless. He had no concept of how girlfriends were maintained.

“I’m gonna kick your ass.” Your boyfriend says into the mic, tone monotone and no mirth behind the words. You know he wasn’t trying to be intimidating, but it kind of turns you on to see him so focused, his jaw slightly tensed and his bottom lip now between his teeth.

It had been about a week since you last did anything sexual, and you think that paired with your mind numbing work day was the cause for your sudden rush of hormones. You’d think dating a gamer would mean he wasn’t skilled in the sexy department, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, being so adept with his fingers made him that much better than the average person. Eric’s eyes narrow when he sees a group of players in the distance.

“Dude, back me up. We can take them, we can take them,” he commands, sitting back down at the same time he starts shooting at the other characters. Sunwoo’s comes into view on the other side of the monitor, also firing at the group of maybe four.

With a lazy sigh, you stand from his bed, sitting yourself on the edge of his desk. He offers you a small smile before resuming the intense gameplay he was engaged in. You cross your legs not so subtly due to his appearance, his hair falling into his eyes and his brows knitted together. You wanted him so bad right now. Fucking Kim Sunwoo would pay for being a cockblock.

You nudge his knee with your foot, silently whining in hopes he gets the hint. He holds a finger up to you, leaning into the monitor again. You know what they say; if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.

You perch yourself on his lap, grinning in sweet victory when his expression falters and he accidentally releases the mouse from his grip. The momentary distraction is enough for his character to get killed, the screen flashing to showcase Sunwoo’s character’s point of view. Eric’s shoulders sag and he gives you a pointed look. You simply bat your eyelashes at him, lips curling into an innocent simper.

“What the fuck, Eric? You said we could take them.”

“My fault,” he apologizes, reclining in his seat and wrapping an arm around your waist as he watches Sunwoo. “You got this, bro.”

Right as he says that, his character also dies, the monitor reading ‘Match Over’ almost instantaneously. He shares an amused snort with you upon jinxing his best friend, one of his hands rubbing up and down your bare thigh. You can hear Sunwoo cussing him out through his headset. Eric winces, unplugging it from the headphone jack so his friend’s grievances weren’t directly in his ears.

“—And it’s all because you can’t keep your dick in your pants, you fucking horndog.”

You snicker at that, slapping a hand over your mouth when you realize that it might’ve been a little too loud. Eric shakes his head at the other male’s irritation. From where he stood, it sounded a whole lot like jealousy rather than anger. The guy really needed to get laid before gaming consumed him entirely and he stayed a loser incel for the rest of his life. Eric was lucky enough to have you in his corner.

“What’s so funny, Y/N?”

“You,” you shrug even if he can’t see it. “I think it’s kinda comical that you’re mad Eric gets pussy. You should take notes, Kim.”

Your boyfriend bursts into uncontrollable laughter, squeezing your thigh gently. You can hear Sunwoo sputter over your words, stumbling and stuttering every time he opens his mouth to speak. You’ve rendered him speechless, because you’re right. He is jealous that Eric has a girlfriend.

If it were any other girl, he doesn’t think he’d give a shit. But it was you. He wasn’t envious of the fact that his best friend was cuffed and he wasn’t. He was envious of the fact that he had you.

Something that doesn’t get brought up a lot, is how Sunwoo actually introduced you to Eric. He knew you first. Naturally, he thought that his tiny crush on you would blossom into something greater, especially because you saw each other twice a week. You were lab partners for Gen Chem and you became friends outside of class pretty quickly. He didn’t think he was terrible looking, and his personality wasn’t that bad either, so he hoped you might’ve been into him too.

And then you met Eric. God, he should’ve known bringing you together was a horrible idea. His best friend was not only extremely handsome, but also quite the flirt and a little too friendly. You were hooked from the get go. Sunwoo really shouldn’t have been that surprised when the two of you started dating.

That didn’t mean it didn’t suck though, having you constantly ask about Eric during your lab and slowly watching you distance yourself the closer you grew to him. It explained why you were so comfortable shitting on his lack of relationship experience, because once upon a time, you were something he could confide in. It was actually sort of hilarious that you were the same reason why he lacked said experience.

Now it’s been over a year and he still doesn’t think he could ever fully get over you.

“Damn, Sunwoo, you really just got your ass handed to you.”

The older of the two males deadpans at his screen, despite knowing neither of you can see him. But now that he’s been backed into a corner, all he can do is save face. “Having a girlfriend is the least of my worries.”

Eric hums, unconvinced. “Maybe I just have to show you what you’re missing out on.”

You turn in his lap, raising an eyebrow. What the hell did he mean by that?

Luckily for you, you don’t have to wonder for much longer. He clicks on his and Sunwoo’s chat in the bottom taskbar, pressing the video call button and allowing it to ring for a few seconds. This gives you the smallest idea of what he has in mind, and deep, deep down, you’re excited by the thought.

Sunwoo answers after the fourth ring, his face appearing in its own window on Eric’s monitor, pouty lips formed in a straight line and headset hidden under his hoodie. He looks sexy like that, in his element. You would never admit that out loud though. He was too attractive for his own good. He didn’t even know what to do with the beauty bestowed on him, resorting to being a gamer who holed himself away in his apartment.

“What am I supposedly missing out on then?” He finally says, and even with the not-so-stellar quality of his video, you recognize that dark look in his eyes. It has you shifting uncomfortably on Eric’s lap, desperate for some friction.

“Well first of all,” your boyfriend starts, brushing your hair behind your shoulder and sneaking a hand under the t-shirt of his you were wearing. “You should cut your losses now. Because no one could ever be better than my precious, Y/N.”

You crane your neck to the side, giving his lips access to your skin. He starts to pepper gentle kisses along the side, making eye contact with you in the smaller window that reflects yourself. Your mouth parts with a sigh when he reaches that sensitive spot just below your ear, and again when he nips at the juncture where it meets your shoulder.

It’s hard to focus on anything but Sunwoo’s expression and the way his jaw clenches upon not being able to touch you himself. And fuck, if Eric wasn’t right. He could never truly find anyone better than you. This was the closest he’d ever get to the real deal.

“You gonna be a good girl for Sunwoo, baby?” Eric murmurs into your ear, nibbling the lobe as his hand travels further up your shirt to palm your bare breast. You merely nod, a small whine escaping your lips when his thumb grazes your peaked nipple.

“Are you seriously about to fuck your girlfriend in front of me?” His best friend asks, voice a bit strained. The concept of you naked in just his head was enough to have him creaming his pants like a goddamn high schooler. But actually getting to see it with his own eyes? Getting to see your face when you orgasm? He doesn’t think he has the mental strength.

“Do you not want me to?” Eric slips his free hand between your legs, pushing your panties to the side. “I can easily end this call and keep this all to myself.”

Your boyfriend takes his silence as an answer, continuing to pleasure you. He helps you pull off the t-shirt, exposing your chest to both him and his best friend. Sunwoo holds his breath, leaning back into his gaming chair with his bottom lip between his teeth. You raise one of your legs, placing your foot on Eric’s knee to give him a clearer view of what’s going on with your lower half.

Eric holds the thin material of your underwear out of the way, languidly thrusting his ring and middle fingers into your hole. You rest your head on his shoulder with a low moan, observing Sunwoo’s different reactions, though he tries to mask them. Even he knows he’s doing a shitty job, because how could any sane person not lose their mind perceiving what he is.

“Need more,” you whimper, tongue darting out to swipe across your lips. “I need more, please…”

“Well, since you asked so kindly,” Eric grins against the side of your head, kissing your temple as he adds a third finger and begins to circle your clit with his thumb. “How could I say no to you, princess?”

The stretch burns slightly, but not too much that it distracts from how good you feel. You half wished your boyfriend suggested this a long time ago. Having someone else’s eyes on you while he fucked you open with his fingers just added more fuel to the fire, rousing the squelching sound your pussy made. The fact that it happened to be Kim Sunwoo just made the experience that much thrilling.

Your heavy eyes glance back to the screen, getting a glimpse of his entranced face. It took everything in him to bite his cheek and keep his mouth shut, longing to extend an arm through his PC and put his own hands all over you. You looked so hot, legs splayed open so he had a perfect view of Eric’s fingers scissoring in and out of your cunt.

“Please, Eric…” You plead. For what? You’re not sure yourself.

“What do you want, baby?”

“Want you to fuck me for real,” you attempt to meet his fingers, telling him all he needs to know.

He grabs your jaw and turns you to face him so he can kiss you, lips moving against yours so softly you might melt in the palms of his hands. You aid him with ridding his pants and his briefs, shoving them down to his ankles so he can kick them off. Your mouth nearly waters, having missed his cock in the past week you’d been apart.

You take a hold of the edge of his desk, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he slips the tip of his dick into the warmth of your cunt. A drawn out whine bubbles up from your throat, risking a look at Sunwoo. He’s still, legs manspread and arms crossed over his chest. By the time Eric’s bottomed out, you’re no longer coherent, brain jumbled.

Your boyfriend begins to move after allowing you to adjust to the fullness of his cock sheathed to the hilt in you. You sit back on him, practically cradling his head as he leisurely fucks you. In spite of him moving without a rush, you can feel all of him, so deep inside of you, you think you could faint.

“You’re— oh god— Eric…” you moan, unable to formulate a comprehensive sentence.

He chuckles lowly, the sound reverberating along your spine. “Don’t forget to include our guest, baby.”

“T-Take off your pants, Sun,” your tone wavers, vision cutting in and out as Eric’s pace increases. “Wanna see you get yourself off…”

Sunwoo groans, covering his face and dragging his hand down to his mouth. He’d barely put his dick inside of you and you already looked so fucked out. He wants to follow through with your wishes, but how can he with your boyfriend right there? Then again, it was Eric’s idea to do this and he did have you spread out in front of him. He needed to act fast, for this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

He pushes his sweatpants and underwear down mid thigh, freeing his painfully hard cock. He doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed by the pearl of precum that’s sitting pretty on his slit, using his thumb to smear it around his tip. You mewl, digging your nails in the armrest of Eric’s chair and tugging at his hair.

Your boyfriend’s best friend grabs the base of his dick hesitantly, sighing when it brings momentary relief. He starts to jerk the shaft, twisting his wrist and pumping his hand up and down. He feels so much lighter, like a part of his guilty conscience had just been lifted from his chest. He didn’t have to feel so ashamed of jerking himself off to the thought of you now that he’d been given permission to do so. And in front of you, nonetheless.

“Fucking look at you,” Sunwoo all but growls, fist wrapped tightly around his cock as he bucks up into his hand, head falling back with a groan. “Nothing but talk, aren’t you? Getting off to the loser watching you get fucked like a dumb slut.”

You moan loudly, keeping your hooded eyes on his video. Eric tightens his grip around your hips, holding you in place as he fucks up into you almost brutally, face buried into the crook of your neck. You feel insane, Sunwoo’s degradation inching you closer and closer to your sweet release.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Eric coos, pressing open mouthed kisses on your neck and shoulders. “Taking me so fucking well, like the good girl you are.”

The contrast between the two males’ approach has your head spinning. On one hand, you had your doting boyfriend and his endless praise. The thought of impressing him always multiplied the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You wanted to do anything and everything to keep him satisfied. On the other hand, you had Sunwoo and the string of near insults he kept hurling at you. Something about him calling you demeaning names while still fucking his own fist at the sight of you had those butterflies going rampant.

“I’m— shit— I’m so s-so close,” you babble, reaching down to rub ovular motions into your already sensitive clit.

Sunwoo didn’t think he’d last long from the second he touched himself, so he can’t imagine what will happen when he takes in you orgasming. He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood, tasting the bitter metal-like flavor of the red fluid as his hand speeds up.

“Cum for me, princess,” Eric groans in your ear, fingers sliding down to help you apply more pressure to your clit. “Cum all over my cock for Sunwoo.”

You wail as you hit your climax, toes curling and back arching into your boyfriend’s chest. Your walls squeeze around his dick, triggering his own release. He paints the inside of your cunt with sticky white ropes and a grunt, plugging you up as your breathing regulates and your body stops shaking. You both gaze through the monitor as his cum starts to leak out of you, your pussy filled with so much that you’re surprised he didn’t pass out.

Sunwoo follows after that, coating his hands and thighs in his own ejaculation. He sits there for a minute, eyes closed as he process what the fuck just happened. Once the fogginess of the moment subsided, he feels his heart rate spike. Now that he knows what you look and sound like, how could he ever see you the same?

“Uh, woah that’s crazy, someone’s calling me. Gotta go, bye!” He lies, ending the call before either you or Eric can properly register his words. He reclines in his chair with a pinch of the bridge of his nose.

There was no going back from this.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[minjify]

LOVE LANGUAGES ʚɞ ot6

BOYNEXTDOOR — ot6 synopsis love languages they mostly show p bnd x reader g established relationships skinship fluff petnames not proofread w 600

notes ; first post yayy

박성호 — PARK SUNGHO

words of affirmation

“has anyone ever told you how lucky they are to have you in their lives?”

that caught you off guard. you knew it shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore but it always does. his tendency to suddenly say things like that.

he had no idea how much it affects you, the love for him you already had kept filling up much more with every word he says.

“no” you say, nonchalantly, however, “you’re the first one i think” if only he knew how loud your heart was beating right now. or how you were fighting all the urge to kiss him at that moment.

“well i should say it more often then” he says, then going back to taking a spoonful of his food like he didn’t just uttered words that would keep you awake at night.

김동현 — KIM DONGHYUN

quality time

no matter how busy you both can be, leehan will find a way to be beside you. knocking on your door on a random thursday finding you slumped over your textbooks.

he would promptly drag you out of your room ignoring your groans and complaints. grabbing your jacket out of your closet and draping it over your figure.

“i need to study, hannie”

“you need a quick break, babe” he would say softly before sliding in your shoes and tying the shoelaces.

20 minutes later, you both ended up hand in hand savoring the ice cream under the sun by the park. leehan listening to you rambling about whatever has been going on with your life and smiling dumbly.

한동민 — HAN DONGMIN

physical touch

taesan didn’t notice it, but even if you two are together silence would usually seep in between your small talks.

you both would just suddenly stop talking and ultimately you, yourself would end up sleeping sprawled on top of him while on the couch.

it was still sunny outside, but the open curtains and the breeze and maybe the feel of taesan holding you had lulled you.

his hands firmly on your waist, rubbing smooth circles, unaware you were already dozed off, far too engrossed into the article he picked up.

his hand subconsciously trails up to lay on your head, patting and carving his fingers through.

when he finds out you were fast asleep he’d attempt to carry you to the bedroom so you’d feel more comfortable. just for him to end up cuddling you closer.

“sleep well, baby”

이상혁 — LEE SANGHYEOK

gift giving

riwoo would get you gifts at any moment he deems commendable. if it weren’t for his whines to get you to open the gifts you reckon your living room can be filled with just the mailboxes he get shipped to your house.

would never let you buy anything with your money under his watch. he got to know the things you liked and if anything reminded him of you, he’d immediately buy it with just one look.

“it’s okay, baby, it looks cute on you” smiling at your pout, admiring the way the glasses perched adorably on your nose.

after you decide it wasn’t all that bad, he offered to buy you a few more pairs only to get turned down by a firm ‘no’.

he’d show up at your doorstep a week later, however, with two or maybe three boxes on his hands. ready for them to be tried on.

명재현 — MYUNG JAEHYUN

acts of service

your nature of always being a hard worker especially at school burdened not only you at times, but jaehyun as well. well, not entirely, but he felt that burden anyway.

he hated two things — seeing you hunched over papers and textbooks and second, your awfully heavy backpack that you just have to bring to school everyday.

jaehyun always wondered why you couldn’t have left some of the books at school or at home, but whenever he brought it up you’d just brush it off continuing to carry your bag all the way home.

he kept up with it for some time. until it annoyed him to lengths and he’d end up holding the bag for you anyway. even if you had tried to reach back for it with a few curses and a hit on his arm.

“you shouldn’t carry this much, your back will hurt” he mumbles, looking away. “let me carry them for you, i’m stronger anyway”

김운학 — KIM WOONHAK

physical touch

you were never keen of too much touching. there were definitely a lot of other ways to show your affection towards someone and you felt that excessive skinship was not your personal favorite.

that was until you met woonhak. even before dating he was already clingy, not as close as he is now but clingy enough.

he needs to be holding you some way, feeling like something’s out of place if he didn’t. and it grew on you. whenever you both were out or just conveniently together, his elbows would be touching yours or your hands would be intertwined.

woonhak loved late study nights, but not for the obvious reasons. he loves when you both would take the bus ride back home and you’d fall asleep on his shoulder. it was one if the moments where he realizes you felt completely safe with him and he can’t help but adore you much more.

he loves the way you would slowly blink your eyes open confusedly when he softly wakes you up as the bus arrives at your stop and how, for a change, you’d get clingy instead of him.

[flowerprincesscherryblossom]

victoria's secret

pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female Reader word count: 729 warnings: smut, public sex, quickie AO3 A/N: request - Hello can I request a smut where you and jin do it in a victoria secret’s dressing room when you’re trying on a lingerie and he gets turn on lol thank u Hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day wherever you are💜

When you went to the Victoria's Secret shop to buy some lingerie for yourself and your boyfriend, it wasn't exactly your plan for him to follow you there.

You wanted it to be a surprise for him but Jin didn't agree with you, spouting words about how he had to go with you, how else would you know which one was his favorite?

You rolled your eyes at him but decided to let him go with you, figuring out it was easier to just accept that Jin was going with whether you wanted it or not.

Entering the store one of the ladies working there looked at you from top to bottom with a look of disdain on her face, making you almost do a reenactment of that one scene from Pretty Woman, but you pushed that feeling down for you were a woman on a mission.

Giving the lingerie section a once over you grabbed the five ones that you liked most and went to the dressing room, with your boyfriend serving as a judge.

Number one - majorelle blue Unlined Corded Lace Teddy, Jin thought it was okay.

Number two - black and white Embroidered Bow Teddy, Jin wasn't a big fan of it.

Number three - vintage rose Bombshell Add-2-cups Lace Teddy, Jin seemed to really like this one.

Number four - black Wicked Open Back Babydoll, Jin had mixed feelings on this one.

In all honesty, Jin's reactions were starting to annoy you a little bit. It actually felt like you were on a talent show with the world's hardest judge, so calm and collected, you just couldn't get the reaction you were looking for out of him.

Inside the dressing room, you put on the last lingerie, a red Lace Plunge Crotchless Teddy. You loved how it looked on you and hugged your body, and with any luck, Jin would feel the same way.

"How do I look?" you said coming out, a smirk on your lips when you see his eyes widen and him opening his mouth in shock. "Do you like it baby?" you gave him a twirl.

Jin stands up from his seat, grabs you by the wrist, and leads you back to the room, looking around before joining you and pressing you against the wall.

"So I finally got a rise out of you," you said with a chuckle as he started grinding against you.

"Do you know how hard it was to see you in all of that lingerie and still try to keep control?" he kissed your lips before moving down to your neck, as you leaned your head back to give him more access. "You're such a tease." You whined when you felt his fingers rubbing the wetness in your slit before he removed himself from it.

"You're gonna have to be quiet," You nodded as Jin pulled his pants down just enough so he could pull his cock out. Holding tightly to your hips, sliding his length against your cunt, he spreads pecks throughout your neck.

"J-Jin please,"

"So needy," slowly pushing inside you, you bit your bottom lip to keep any sounds from escaping and made you be found out.

Giving you a few seconds to adjust, he pulls back until only the tip remained before slamming into you, your nails digging onto his back as he hikes one of your legs up, making him hit deeper into you.

Thrusts rough and fast as both of you tried to keep your voices as low as possible. Moving one of your hands down you started rubbing circles on your clit quickly.

"Fuck J-Jin," you were reaching your edge fast. "I-I'm c-close," He groans into your neck, his pace becoming even faster. "Come for me baby,"

Leaving your bite on your neck caused to reach your high, clenching around him. With a couple more thrusts Jin shoots inside with a groan. Taking deep breaths as you both came down from your highs, he pulled out of you, a smug smile on his face as his cum slipped down your thighs.

Stepping closer to your ear he whispered. "You're gonna take this little outfit off, give it to me along with the others, so I can buy you the one's I liked. And when we get home you're going to put this one on again so we can finish what we started."

[buckysgrace]

Fifty Three

1973

They had a routine at night.

Her and Max were laid in bed together, both of them laying under the blankets as they fought the urge to break into giggles. Max had just turned two not too long ago and Kim liked how much easier she was able to play with.

The familiar stomping of footsteps outside the door left them both in giggles. Kim liked Max’s bright blue eyes. She always looked like she was curious and like she wanted to know more. She was still a baby but Kim would sit her up on the floor, dressed in their mommy’s makeup and scarves, and tell her all of the secrets that Kim knew. Which wasn’t a lot, but Kim was imaginative for her age. She had good ears and would listen to what adults would say and ran with it. She didn’t know half of what she said, but Max seemed like she understood all the same. She’d always look up at Kim with bright blue eyes and wide lips, enthralled by every word that left Kim’s mouth. 

“Shh,” Kim placed a finger over her sister’s lips, trying to get the toddler to calm down. Max would cover her hands with two palms, looking at her sister dramatically, “He can hear.” She would whisper to her sister.

“Who's there?” Their daddy would exclaim in a voice that didn’t sound like his. Kim would have to hold her sister at this point. Even though Max should know by now that it was playful, Kim figured that she got scared.

“Uh, no one’s home!” Kim would shout out as Max hid her face in her chest. She would hold her tightly, Max’s body shaking from the laughter.

“I think I smell two little girls,” Kim could see from underneath the blankets. Her father was on all fours now, slowly crawling his way towards their bed. She held Max closer, trying to keep herself from laughing out, “Two little girls to eat!” He’d rip off their blanket from over their heads, and they would both squeal. Sometimes Max would scream loudly and clutch to Kim in fear before she recognized it was their father. She’d reach for him then, kicking her feet and moving her hands as she giggled happily.

“Max,” Kim would draw out the a, watching as she moved into their daddy’s arms, “He got you!” Max was still too little to understand the game. Their father would kiss all over her face and tickle her side to make her squeal louder. Kim loved her daddy. He was kind, but he always looked like he was tired. He had fiery red hair and deep blue eyes. Kim thought that Max looked just like him.

“Oh, look at the time,” He would place Max back into bed when he was done, “Let’s see, monster check?” He’d check underneath their bed and then in their closet. Sometimes he would put on a show for them and scare off any monsters that may be hiding in their room. 

“No monstew?” Her dad would look at her until she pronounced it correctly, “Mon-ster.” She would spit out harshly, raising one of her eyebrows and looking up to see if she was saying it correctly.

“No monsters.” He would tell her then. She had started going by Kim not too long ago. She used to tell everyone it was Kimberly Rose, but that was until people started to make fun of her r’s. She couldn’t help that she didn’t say it correctly, it just never rolled off of her tongue right. Her mommy thought it was cute, but she could tell it annoyed daddy. Still, at times he would roll his r’s and she would stare in wonder over how he did it.

“Love you higher than the moon -” He would start the sentence and wait for them to finish. 

“More than the stars in the sky!” Max could only spit out half the sentence, but Kim was proud of her for remembering stars and sky. 

Their apartment was tiny and crowded. There were two rooms, if you could classify them as rooms. Kim and Max shared a room, well, they shared everything. They slept in the same bed, they shared the same hairbrush. Max wore all of Kim’s old clothes while Kim wore old clothes from her mom and sometimes from her dad. She towered over the other kids in her class and she hated it at times. It always drew attention to her.

She missed living with her grandma. Her house was bigger and there always seemed like there was more to do. They didn’t have to share a bed there, but Kim thought that maybe that had to do with Max still being in a crib. Kim usually had to play on her own, her grandma said that she was too old to rough house like she did.

Kim was long and nimble and found that she could easily climb things. She used to climb trees for as far as they would go and just sit there and watch. She liked the pear tree the best, because she would just sit up there and nibble on them. Sometimes she’d throw down leftovers to her grandma’s dog, Dooby. It was always fun when her daddy came home because he’d climb up there and join her. Grandma didn’t like it, but Kim thought it was because she could easily get into things. 

It was rare that her grandma baked cookies, but Kim was easily able to scout them out with her nose and would climb onto the kitchen counters and find wherever they would be hidden. She had a bad sweet tooth. Her parents would hide candy in the top drawers, in the highest spots, but she would still get up there. It made her Grandma mad when she’d do that, but mom would always kiss Kim’s chocolate cheeks and say that she was too cute to punish. 

Sometimes she got lucky enough to watch TV, but she was always bored by her grandma's shows. Sometimes she would put on her mommy’s heels and try to wear them, but she always ended up falling over. Usually, that’s when Grandma would yell at her for being snoopy. As far as Kim was concerned, it wasn’t her fault that people left things out for her to grab. 

Her grandma had once swatted her hard on her behind for doing so and Kim had cried all the way to her mom’s room. Mom had wrapped her up in her arms and had been furious.

“You can’t hit her,” Mom was bouncing her on one hip, her face red in anger, “She didn’t do anything wrong.” Grandma had only scoffed at the suggestion. Kim was still sniffling, her head was resting against her mom.

“You live in my house for free,” Grandma snapped back. Kim thought that she looked a lot like a goblin at the moment, “She’s going to end up like your good for nothing husband. Taking anything she can find.” Kim didn’t know what that meant, but it resulted in a screaming match from the two women.

Not much later, they were leaving in the middle of the night. They didn’t take a lot, mostly clothes and food. Kim didn’t like that she had to leave behind most of her toys, or Dooby. She thought that they should bring him with them, even if he was grandma’s.

They had stayed in their car for some time after that, until they got their apartment now. Kim liked that at a certain angle, you could see the beach from her window. The neighbors were loud and kind of smelly, but sometimes they’d watch the two girls if their dad ran behind at work. 

She almost liked it better now. Grandma always wanted to hog Max. Kim liked holding Max, she liked rocking her and pretending that she was her own baby. For the time being she could dress her up in different outfits, but Max was beginning to protest that more and more as she got bigger. Kim missed Dooby the most. He was old, with black and white fur. He’d sit still as she dressed him in various items and would put powder on his nose. She found out that Max liked pretending to be a doggy. She had taught Max to bark, much to her mom’s dismay. 

Her daddy would call her monkey because of the way she was able to wrap her long legs around him and hang onto him in a similar way. It would make her giggle hysterically when he’d twist her around and hang her upside down in the air. Sometimes they’d make monkey noises at each other.

Her mom worked a lot, six days a week. Kim finally knew that there were seven days in a week and her mom was always off on Sundays. Sometimes she was too tired to do anything other than sleep on the couch. Kim would always brush her hair out gently and kiss her cheek before she’d grab her a pillow and a blanket so she could nap. Other times, her mom would hold both of the girls. Just all day long. She’d hold them and tell them how much she loved them. Kim knew how to change Max’s diapers and she knew the food that she preferred better than her parents. She would call Max her baby more often than not, because she was her baby. Kim hated being at school and away from her. Her daddy sometimes overslept and wouldn’t hear if Max was crying or needed something. He didn’t like changing diapers or cleaning snotty noses.

As a result, Max clung to her side but Kim didn’t mind. She liked taking care of her, which her father quickly noticed. He began telling her it was her job to watch her, but she always needed to make sure she was doing it right. He’d give them sunscreen, a bottle for water and a few dollars for food and leave them wherever, while he went to play. She wasn’t sure what he was playing, but he always promised he’d be bringing them money back.

He never did.

Kim was still young but had learned how to run the tub so her and Max could bathe while he played. She liked playing in the tub with her sister, it was fun. Max sometimes made a mess though and occasionally they’d get in trouble for it. Never too bad. She wasn’t supposed to tell mommy that daddy was gone for long hours. He was always back before mom got off of work, when the two girls were waiting in bed for him.

“She doesn’t like that,” Max was fussy, whining at the table as mom tried to feed her small pieces of broccoli. Max’s face was beginning to turn red from the amount of times she had said no, “It gets stuck in her teeth.” KIm reasoned, watching how her mom’s eyes furrowed together. 

“We can’t afford to be picky,” Her mom would say. Kim didn’t really know what that word meant, other than that it wasn’t good, “She needs to eat it.” Kim scooted herself closer to Max, sitting on her knees as she looked at her.

“Max,” She picked up a piece of broccoli with her hands, “It’s like what the dinosaurs ate!” She told her as she took a giant bite from the head of the broccoli, pretending to growl and shaking her head like she was a big animal. Max giggled, before she picked a piece up with her chubby hand and mimicked her sister’s actions. Kim smiled proudly, not caring that she ate messy, just as long as she ate.

“Kimberly,” Her mom would say in exasperation but she would be smiling, “She needs to eat like a little lady.” Her mom would try again, only to be met with Max’s lip scrunched up.

“She’s not a lady,” Kim pushed a piece of red hair from Max’s forehead. She could tell by the way Max didn’t enjoy being dressed up, even though Kim still did it, “She’s my baby.” She’d poke Max’s nose and get a squeal from the younger girl as her mother huffed from frustration. 

//////

Kim was growing bored of burying Max’s legs in the sand and unburying them. Max didn’t seem to mind, she’d kick her chubby legs fast and watch the way it fell off of her with a wide grin. Kim sighed. She had already built a sand castle and pretended that Max was a giant monster that had come to destroy it. She was running out of games to play and there were no other kids at the beach.

“Did you see that?” Her attention was drawn away from Max’s blabbering as she looked towards a young boy holding a surfboard. She brightened up, recognizing someone that was her age, “It was seven feet!” He was talking to a woman and Kim felt jealous, wishing her mom was here to play with her. Her eyes followed him for a few minutes, watching as he surfed back and forth. She wasn’t allowed to go that far into the ocean, she had to watch Max. She watched when he finally placed his surfboard down. She watched in excitement as he made his way towards them. She picked up Max quickly, earning a sound of protest from her. 

“Hi,” He beamed. He had curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She smiled back, standing up straighter as Max dumped the last fistful of sand out of her hand, “What’s your name?” Her heart pounded in excitement, hoping that she would make a new friend. 

“I can’t tell my real name,” She giggled, thinking about how her daddy had said not to tell strangers their names, “Um Rose! This is Lily.” She struggled as she adjusted Max on her hip. That wasn’t technically their names, but at least he had something to call them by. Max made an angry face and kicked her little legs against Kim.

“No, no, no!” She shook her head hard, her eyebrows furrowing together in anger. Kim bounced her on her hip, trying to get her to settle down again. He watched them.

“Well, I’m William then,” He smiled brightly. Kim giggled, feeling a bit shy at how cute he looked. She thought that he looked like he’d be the perfect prince for her story, “Do you know how to surf?” She shook her head.

“I can’t. I have to watch my sistew.” She made a face when she realized she had said sister wrong. She felt her cheeks blushing but William didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t tease her like the other kids at school did.

“We can play something else,” He said brightly, “What do you like to play?” He asked and she felt excited. Max grunted, pointing towards the ground. Kim sat her down before sitting down next to her. William joined them after a second, watching the way Max scooted forward to kick her little legs into the water. 

“What about fairytales?” She asked excitedly, “You can be the prince and I can be the princess!” She was proud this time as she said her words correctly. William’s smile fell just a little bit. 

“My dad said I can’t be a prince.” He said simply, looking a bit crestfallen. Kim kicked her legs in the water as she faced him, feeling herself frown.

“That’s dumb,” She was horrified at the idea, “What if you marry a princess? Then what would you be?” He shrugged. Max was splashing her little palms against the water, giggling loudly as water droplets landed on her face.

“A king?” He looked at her confused. She giggled, nodding at Max as she showed her a shell she had grabbed. Kim quickly took it, noticing how she was trying to put it in her mouth.

“No, silly,” She drew out as the waves bobbed them around, “You can only be a king if you marry a queen. Queens are old.” She giggled, wrinkling her nose at the thought. He giggled with her after a moment. 

“I guess I’d have to be a prince then,” He drew out slowly, glancing over his shoulder as if his father could hear him, “I don’t know any princesses.” Max took a hold of Kim’s shoulder, making her wince as she pulled herself onto her feet. She bounced in the wet sand, giggling as she did so. 

“Sure you do!” She smiled brightly at him as she held onto Max’s hands, making sure she didn’t fall, “I’m a princess! If you marry me then you can be a prince.” William grinned at her.

“My momma’s here, she can marry us,” He grinned as he stood up, the water dripping from his shorts, “She’s right over there!” Kim gently stood, holding onto Max’s chubby hands and following behind him. Max stumbled over the sand, wobbling back and forth so Kim picked her up to make it a little easier. She took big steps to keep up with William.

“Mommy!” William bounced over to a pretty blonde lady. She had a large sunhat on and looked at him with a big adoring smile, “These are my friends. I need your help.” He said urgently, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Kim finally caught up, sending her a shy wave as she was struggling with Max again. Max had grown distracted and was playing with Kim’s red hair. She was wrapping it between her chubby fingers and tugging on it, causing Kim’s head to yank forward. 

“How old are you?” His mom looked at them confused. Kim missed the worried look in her eye, thinking that she was just being nice. 

“She’s two,” Kim pronounced proudly, “I’m six!” She held up six fingers, feeling proud that she remembered Max’s age. His mom looked a little worried.

“Where are your parents?” She looked over their heads, as if she expected them to be nearby. Mommy was working the usual long shift at the hospital. Daddy had dropped them off again, saying he was going to win something big for them this time. He always said that but never told her where he went. He’d always give her a few dollars, just enough for her and Max to share a hamburger and a drink. She was never supposed to tell her mommy that he had left them alone. 

“Mommy’s wow- working,” Kim slowed down her words again so she wouldn’t stumble over her r’s, “Daddy is close! He goes to win money sometimes.” She told her excitedly. Her arm started to burn so she let Max stand next to her. She watched as the younger girl plopped down on the sand and began to nestle herself into it with a grin.

“Well, I’d love it if you girls wanted to join B-” His mom started to speak. William looked at her shocked. 

“William,” He interjected quickly, glancing quickly at Kim before he looked back at his mom, “We need your help first.” Kim felt just as excited as he looked. His mom looked surprised for a moment but then quickly recovered. 

“Oh, oh William,” His mom corrected quickly, looking down at the three of them, “What do you need my help with?”

“We have to get married! Then I can become a prince again and protect our castle!” He exclaimed in joy, his eyes lighting up as he spoke. Kim giggled, suddenly feeling shy with the way his mom was watching them with a smile.

“Hey,” Max placed her tiny hands on her hips, “Me!” She protested. Kim smiled, realizing she must’ve picked up on one of the words from when they played together. Max always made a good giant for her paper people. 

“You’d be my best knight,” He told her quickly, nodding his head, “Please, momma.” William asked, holding his hands together as he looked towards her mother. She smiled.

“Alright,” She drew out slowly, looking down at the two of them, “You need to take each other’s hands.” Kim looked at William shyly, too nervous to be the one to make the first move. He took her hand quickly, pulling her towards him. She giggled.

“What now?” He asked seriously. Kim looked towards her, watching the wide grin that was on her face.

“Spin her around three times,” His mom instructed. William did so, nearly knocking into Kim’s head each time from how tall she was. She giggled, feeling dizzy after it, “Now you have to kiss her!”

William and Kim both faced each other and she found herself giggling shyly. At the same time, she was grossed out. Boys had cooties. She didn’t want boy germs.

“There,” William pressed a kiss to her red cheek quickly and pulled away just as fast, “All done.” He was smiling and she could feel her face warming.

“That’s it. You’re married.” Kim covered her face, fighting the bubbling urge to break into hysterics. She was married. 

“Now, you’re a prince,” Kim smiled brightly, thinking that he would look good in a crown, “We can play now!”

“How about we eat first?” His mom was bent over, her hands resting on her knees as she spoke to Kim, “And then you can play.” Kim looked towards Max, thinking it had been a while since she ate. She nodded her head.

“I have two dollars in my bag,” She pointed proudly to the diaper bag that was resting back at where her and Max had been sitting all day, “I can get it.” His mom’s eyes softened.

“S’Okay,” She told Kim earnestly, “It’ll be my treat today.” 

Kim really liked his mom. She bought them all lunch and they sat along the beach eating corn dogs and french fries. Kim had never had a corn dog before, but she really liked it. She really liked sitting next to William and listening to all of his stories. His mom even bought them an ice cream cone. Kim took turns sharing it with Max, making sure that she didn’t take too much at a time. 

“So what do you do throughout the week?” She rested her hands against her cheek as she looked at the two girls. 

“I go to school!” She exclaimed happily, holding onto the cone as Max licked her little tongue across it. Kim kept having to wipe the vanilla ice cream from her nose and cheeks, “i don’t know what Max does.” She looked at her little sister and furrowed her eyebrows. Max mimicked her, furrowing her eyebrows and pretending to think. Kim and her both giggled before she turned back to the other two.

“I got to school too!” William smiled at her, “Where do you go?” She smiles big, thinking it would be fun to have a friend that went to the same school. She still had a hard time making friends. 

Kim licked the ice cream from her bottom lip, concentrating hard so she could pronounce the name correctly, “Tow-Torrey Hills.” She said proudly, glad that she hadn’t stumbled over her words too badly. William’s face lit up.

“Me too! I’ve never seen you.” He told her seriously, making her smile happily. It was a big school, and she wasn’t shocked that they didn’t see each other. She was always shy in her classes. She hated how big they were and how people would laugh at her when she couldn’t say her r’s right. She was trying, her daddy said that’s all that mattered.

“Maybe I’ll see you now,” She smiled happily, thinking it would be cool to have a boy friend, “We could play more.” She was excited as she thought about it.

“We have to,” He told her seriously, wrinkling his nose as he looked down at the splotch of ice cream that had brushed against his nose, “We’re married.” He reminded her. She giggled in agreement, not really knowing what it meant. Her parents were married, but they never went on dates or kissed. Usually they spent most of their time screaming at each other.

“Does that mean I have to call you pathetic?” Kim tilted her head confused, looking at him seriously. His mom turned towards her quickly, her eyes widened in surprise. Kim stared back, not understanding anything wrong with what she had just said. 

“Why would you say that?” His mom looked at her confused, almost a bit bothered. Kim shrugged her shoulders. She thought of all the times she’d overhear her parents yelling in their small apartment.

“My mommy says that to my daddy.” She explained to her, tilting her head. She wondered if pathetic was a bad word. Max gnawed on the side of the cone, too thrilled with the sweets to notice much else.

“Oh, oh no you wouldn’t say that,” His mom brushed her words off with a smile, “If you’re married you need to be nice to each other.” Kim felt her eyebrows furrowing together.

“Why aren’t my parents nice?” William had grown quiet but he was listening with intensity, like he wanted to know the answer too. 

“Sometimes it’s harder when you’re an adult,” Her smile was tight, “I’m sure they love each other.” Kim shrugged her shoulders, trying to think if her parents had ever said that to each other.

“Can we play now?” Kim turned towards William, feeling a buzz or excitement racing through her. She really liked someone her age that she could talk to. 

“Yeah,” He let his mom wipe his face with a napkin before he stood up, “Let’s go!” Kim stood quickly, beginning to pick up Max again before his mom stopped her.

“I can watch her. You go play.” Kim was basically beaming at the words. She rushed off with William, excited that she’d finally have something fun to play. 

 They played for hours and hours. Until the sun was beginning to set and their legs couldn’t carry them anymore. They had both plopped into the sand together, laying in opposite directions as their heads rested near one another.

“This was awesome.” He declared. She turned her head slightly, looking at the new freckles that decorated his cheeks. He turned his head after a moment, smiling brightly as he looked at her.

“The best,” Kim nodded her head along in agreement, “Will you come back tomorrow?” He looked at her for a moment.

“Maybe,” He paused, “Actually no. My dad will be home tomorrow.” He looked a bit defeated and that made Kim feel sad. He shouldn’t have to look so upset.

“When will I see you again?” She looked at him nervously, knowing she couldn’t miss out on playing with him.

“We better go, William,” His mom smiled as she approached, holding Max’s sleeping figure on her hip. Kim and William looked at each other in surprise, “Before your dad gets back.” She nodded urgently as she glanced towards her watch.

“Can’t we stay a little longer?” He whined as he watched her. The sun was getting lower in the sky and Kim wondered when her daddy would be coming back. 

“Please?” Kim tried too, not wanting to lose her new friend so quickly. She held onto his hand tightly, flashing her pouty eyes towards his mom. They always worked on her daddy, so she hoped it worked the same way for her. They still had so much more to play. 

“One more game.” His mom said seriously, giving William a knowing look. He pulled her away, racing back towards the water. She followed on her longer legs, the sand kicking up underneath her toes as they reached the watery edge. 

“We can build our castle,” He told her, his blue eyes gleaming from the sun as he plopped down into the wet sand. She followed his lead, crossing her legs as she sat down, “It’ll be some place that we’ll always be happy.” Kim grinned from ear to ear, liking the sound of that as she worked on one side of the castle. They decorated it with seashells, a few leaves and even a dried up starfish. 

“I like it,” Kim proclaimed, watching from the corner of her eye as his mom began walking towards them again, “Do you really have to go?” He looked over at his mom, a soft frown forming on his lips. His mom had a sense of urgency in her steps as she walked towards them. 

“I come here all the time, every Saturday for sure. That’s mine and momma’s special day.” He told her happily. She looked at him unsure, still not wanting to leave him. She didn’t like that he had to leave so soon. She wondered if he’d be able to stay if her daddy dropped him off. 

“You pwomise?” He held out his pinky. She took it quickly, wrapping her pinky around his and squeezing. A pinky promise was serious. She believed him. She’d see him again. 

“Pinky promise.” He told her, his eyes looking like the waves in the ocean. She didn’t want to let go, but she couldn’t keep him away from his mommy anymore. She approached, giving both of them a pitiful smile like she felt bad.

“Do you want a picture with your friend?” She had sat Max back down in the sand gently. Max was awake again, grinning from ear to ear and trying to balance so she could walk towards Kim.

“Why so many pictures?” William whined softly. His mom gave him a teasing look, motioning her hand towards him so he’d scoot closer to Kim. Kim beamed as she gripped his hand. She liked pictures. 

“Maybe one day you’ll want to look back at it,” His mom told him seriously, “Smile!” Kim felt like hers was plastered to her face, in a good way. She had hugged William four times before she was finally able to let him leave. By that time, his mom was rushing and pulling him along. 

Kim sat with Max in the sand after that, waiting for their daddy to arrive as she explained to Max all the different games they’d play when she saw her friend again. Max just grinned and Kim wished that she could talk a little better. 

She had searched in school the following week, but she never saw him. She figured he must be older or younger if she couldn’t find him. It didn’t help that no one seemed to know anyone named William. She was so excited by next weekend, practically buzzing when her daddy dropped them off at the beach. She waited and she waited and waited. He never came.

She had cried on the car ride home because he hadn’t shown. Because she started crying, Max started crying. Her daddy was doing everything he could do to help, but he didn’t know much either. 

“Well what was his name?” He was wiping the tears from her face, a discarded phone book to his side as he held her on his lap. She felt like she was tiny like Max again. She sniffled hard, trying to control her breathing as the tears continued to flow. 

“William.” She replied pitifully, thinking that he had the most beautiful name. She had to find him again. She looked at her daddy urgently, waiting for him to solve the hardest problem she had ever been involved in. 

“Did you catch his last name?” She shook her head no, “His phone number? Address?” She shook her head no again, not really knowing what any of that meant. They didn’t even have a phone. It had been shut off for months now. 

“No!” She cried out, “He pwomised he’d come back! He did!” She cried out, feeling betrayed that she had lost a friend. Her daddy sighed as he pulled he rubbed his hand on her back.

“Promised,” He corrected her to start with, “I’m sure he’ll come back. You just have to give it time.” They never went to the beach much after that. Daddy didn’t really say why, just that he would have better luck further into town and away from the beach. Kim missed the beach, wishing that she had given William her true name. She would dream about him and the adventure that they could’ve had. She felt like she had lost her best friend and she didn’t even know him. 

1975

“I can’t eat this.” Kim told her teacher seriously as she held the cupcake in her hand. It was vanilla and covered with a ton of pink frosting. Kim wanted to so badly but she knew she couldn’t.

“Why ever not?” Mrs. Austen was older, her hair gray and her skin saggy. Kim bounced on the balls of her feet, holding it delicately in her hand. She winced. She grew so fast that she was constantly running through shoes and these were once again too small. She hadn’t told her mom yet, not wanting her to worry about buying new ones. As soon as they were out of school, Kim would kick off her shoes and hold them in one hand and hold Max’s hand in the other one. Sometimes their daddy would be waiting for them outside, but that was becoming rare since he had lost the car. 

“Because I have to share it with my sister.” Kim explained, trying to let her teacher know that it was urgent. Max couldn’t miss out on something like this, she just couldn’t. Kim hadn’t even tried it yet, only smelt it and she knew it was special.

“It’s a cupcake, dear. I’m sure your parents can get one for her later.” Mrs. Austen laughed, waving it off. Kim stared at her for a moment, not realizing that cupcakes were something you could buy. 

“You don’t understand,” Kim tried again, “She’s never had a cupcake before. I haven’t either. I can’t eat this without her.” Mrs. Austen watched her for the longest time, making Kim begin to feel a bit insecure. She didn’t want to get in trouble for this. 

“You’ve never had a cupcake?” Kim shook her head no, “What about cake?” Again, Kim shook her head no. She knew what other kids had on birthdays, but they could never afford cake and ice cream. They always decided to go to their favorite ice cream place instead. Their mom has tried to make it once, but had ultimately forgotten it was in the oven. It came out black and as hard as a brick. Their apartment had stunk for weeks.

“Please,” Kim looked at her hopefully, “She’s in the daycare.” Kim knew it wasn’t that far away. The cupcake just looked so delicious, but she knew she couldn’t eat it unless she shared it with her sister. Who knows when Max would be able to try a cupcake again?

“Alright,” Mrs. Austen stood from her chair, “Let’s go but we have to be quick.” She left instructions with the helper teacher before she took Kim’s hand and walked her down the long hallways. Kim nearly passed, stopping as she thought she saw someone familiar.

“Come on, dear,” Mrs. Austen tugged her along, “No need to worry about him. It’s just the Hargrove boy in trouble again.” She spoke with disdain and Kim wondered what he could’ve done wrong to have someone talk about him like that. 

“This one.” Kim pointed towards the familiar blue door. Mrs. Austen let go of her hand. Kim liked sitting in the daycare room. It was full of different shapes and colors and lots of different toys. Kim and Max didn’t have many toys. Kim had a teddy bear from when she was a baby, but gave it to Max when she was born. She didn’t mind, Max had been a better doll than any of the fake ones. 

“Wait right here,” Kim waited in excitement, holding the cupcake in her hand as Mrs. Austen fetched Max for her. She walked back out, holding the smaller redhead by her hand, “Look who it is.” Max’s face etched into joy.

“Kimmy!” Max let go of Mrs. Austen's hand and rushed towards Kim, wrapping her up in her little arms. Kim grinned, towering over her as she squeezed her in a hug. Kim still liked to pick her up like she was a baby, even though her parents had told her not to. She’d do it at night when neither of them were home. Sometimes she’d have Max pretend to be her baby and would rock her while singing her lullabies. 

“Look what I have,” She showed her excitedly, holding the cupcake out on her hand. Max’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, “It’s a cupcake.” She explained, not sure what the difference between that and a cake was. She thought that it looked like a baby cake.

“For us?” Max turned to look at Mrs. Austen, who had her hands clutched together with a smile. She nodded, motioning outside with her head.

“Let’s go outside so you can sit and eat it.” Mrs. Austen walked further down the hallway and worked on unlocking the double doors. Max took Kim’s hand and followed her, her blue eyes stuck on the cupcake in her hand. Kim sat the cupcake down on the metal table before reaching for Max’s waist and helping her position herself on the bench. Kim sat on the opposite side, beginning to pull the wrapper off. 

“It looks so yummy.” Max breathing out dreamily. Both of her forearms were resting on the table, and she had her chin sitting on her hands as she watched the way Kim worked. Kim grinned, thinking that Max was cuter than any of the other kids in her daycare class. 

Kim split it in half, giving the bigger sized chunk to Max. They clunked the pieces of cake against each other messily before they were both taking a bite. Their eyes met in excitement as they both got a rush of sugar. Kim swirled the mixture of cake and icing around on her tongue and was sure she hadn’t ever tasted anything so good. 

“Yummy,” Max sighed happily as she ate, chowing it down twice as fast as Kim, “Really good.” Kim giggled as she noticed the frosting on Max’s nose. She took one last bite before she gave the rest to Max again.

“Well, what did you think?” Mrs. Austen had her hands crossed and was smiling warmly at the two of them. Kim grinned and reached across to wipe the frosting from Max’s nose. Max giggled and leaned forward, licking it off of Kim’s fingers.

“Ew,” Kim giggled again as she wiped her hand across Max’s shirt, only to make her laugh even more, “It was so good! Thank you!” She nudged Max with her foot.

“Thank you very much!” Max smiled brightly, her blue eyes twinkling in joy. Kim smiled at her, hoping she never lost that look in her eyes. 

///////////

“Kimmy,” Max shook her hard until she woke up, “Daddy on floor.” Kim groaned softly, the sound of the busy traffic filled their tiny room. Max was sitting up on her knees in bed, holding onto Kim’s arm and looking at her with wide blue eyes. Kim was tired, knowing Max would have a hard time going back to sleep after.

“Again?” She rubbed at her eyes, wishing she could have a few more minutes of sleep. Max nodded her head quickly. The past few weeks had been like this. He’d come home clutching a bottle, miss the couch and pass out on the floor. Kim got up slowly, watching to make sure Max didn’t trip over anything.

“He’s too heavy to move,” Kim told Max, watching as the younger girl tried to pull at his arm, “Go get a blankie.” Max kicked her little legs forward and rushed back to their parents room. Kim gently lifted her dads head, placing it on one of the pillows. She didn’t like seeing him like this.

“Here,” Max proclaimed proudly as she tossed the blanket over his body, “What this?” She pressed her big toe against the clear bottle. Kim stared at it and shrugged. Curiosity got the best of her as she pushed the half open cap off and placed it against her lips.

“Eww!” She was spitting it out, her face wrinkled in disgust as the liquid dripped from her lips, “It’s yucky.” She told Max as she furiously wiped at her lips. Max was giggling, watching as her older sister pushed the bottle back towards her daddy. She didn’t know how he drank it. It made her insides burn.

“He okay?” Max asked when Kim took her hand again and led her back to bed. Kim nodded her head, giving her sister a push up so she could get comfortable again.

“He’s fine.” Kim brushed it off as she laid down next to her sister. She really didn’t know what was wrong with him. He was changing and it made her scared. Still, she smiled at Max so the younger girl wouldn’t get scared. 

///////////

Kim very rarely got mad at her daddy, but she was mad at him now. He always took the two girls on their own dates for their birthday. They got to pick one dessert and he took them wherever they wanted. Usually for Kim, it was out for ice cream. She’d always get mint or strawberry and then they’d go to the beach after. Sometimes Kim would find herself looking at the various people that were surfing, unsure of who she was searching for. It was just a habit, like she was waiting for someone to appear.

It was Max’s birthday, so Kim was waiting in the house until they got back. She had just gotten to a very important part of her stories with the teddy bear when the door had slammed open. She heard crying first, her chest ached as she flew out of bed and into the living room. 

Her daddy was holding Max in his arms and she was soaked from head to toe, shivering in his arms. Her little cheeks were bright red from being in the sun too long. Her blue eyes were glistening and wide.

“What did you do?” Kim was mad as she looked to her father for some sort of explanation. Max only cried harder and reached for her.

“Kimmy!” She wiggled down from their dad’s arms and raced her way towards Kim. She held onto her tightly, burying her face into her chest as she cried. Kim snapped her eyes towards her dad, feeling anger building inside of her. 

“You burnt her!” Kim accused, carefully touching Max so she didn’t hurt her. She pushed her red hair from her face, not liking the way Max’s lip was quivering and fat tears were racing down her cheeks. Her dad hesitated, looking at the two of them unsure. 

“We weren’t out long. She wanted to learn how to swim, I did it the same way I taught you.” He explained, looking like he wasn’t sure why Max was so upset. Kim let Max cry in her arms as she rubbed her back gently. Dad had taught her how to swim by tossing her into a pool and waiting for her to float on her own. 

“It’s scary,” Kim told him harshly. She pulled Max’s head back gently and looked at where her forehead was all burnt, “And you didn’t give her any sunscreen.” Kim criticized, she was young but she knew that he should know better. Max was still crying, tugging on her shirt to get her attention.

“Hurts.” She whined, looking up at her with glazed, blue eyes. Kim felt a pang in her chest. Max was like her baby and he had let her get hurt. She gave her dad another dirty look, not liking that he looked like it was no big deal. He had been the one to tell her that she always needed to put sunscreen on Max and now here he was, breaking his own rules. She took Max’s small hand and guided her towards the bathroom, searching for where their mom kept the aloe. 

“It’s okay, Max,” She told her, gently applying it on the red spots on her skin, “I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.” She promised her.

1977

They had a new routine. 

As soon as they got home from school, Kim would lock the door. She’d help Max with her homework and then she’d work on cooking something easy for the two of them. Spaghetti was cheap and easy. It took only a fourth of a box of noodles for both of them and usually about half a can of red sauce. Kim wished they had some kind of vegetable or meat, but usually their fridge was bare. She also made beanie weenies, lots of spam and eggs, pancakes without any syrup or butter and lots of mashed potatoes. Occasionally Kim would make them dessert. She’d toast two pieces of bread, put as little butter as she could spare and just a touch of cinnamon on top. 

Kim would take her bath first and then she would run one for Max. She had to actually stay in there with her or she wouldn’t actually bathe. Kim usually helped her, she’d wash her red hair as Max whined about not needing to get clean. Kim would tell her stories from the fairy tale books she was reading as she did so.

The only problem was that Max didn’t like most of the stories she read. She didn’t like that all of the girls were princesses and they always ended up with a prince. Kim started to improvise, thinking of the most outrageous stories she could think of.

“Only, the frog really wasn’t a prince,” She told her little sister as she scrubbed the knots out of her hair. Max was watching her with wide blue eyes and Kim was careful not to get any of the soap on her face, “He was an intew- intergalactic spy!” She spoke loudly, pausing for dramatic effect while Max gasped. Max furrowed her little eyebrows together.

“What’s that?”

Kim stopped for a moment, not really sure what it meant. She had heard it on TV when she had passed one of the classrooms the other day. She wrinkled her nose, thinking up her own definition, “It means he was the most evil of all the evil beings there ever was.” Max gasped loudly, hanging onto every word.

“What happened next?” Kim paused for a moment, using a plastic cup and filling it up with water so she could wash her sister’s hair. She left Max a cloth, just in case she wanted to be safe and cover her eyes. 

“Well, the princess wasn’t just a princess. She was a knight. She was able to defeat the evil prince and all of his helpers,” Kim told her, making sure she had gotten all of the conditioner from her hair, “She lived happily ever after, ruling the kingdom all on her own.” 

They didn’t have a TV. She had overheard her mom say that they couldn’t afford one. She had been mad at her daddy, over something she didn’t understand. He had wanted medicine from her job and mom had blown up at him for a bunch of different things. Kim didn’t think it was fair. Daddy was just sad, he had lost his job recently. He spent a lot of time away from home, trying to earn back their money. She didn’t know what he was doing, but she trusted him.

She’s set up a cardboard box on the small table in their even smaller living room. She had divided the box into different parts, taking special time and care to make it look like a dollhouse. She had made the parts all on her own and she was proud of it. Santa had gifted her paper dolls for Christmas and she loved them. She was finally glad she got something other than socks, mittens and gloves. She always got jealous in school when her classmates came back with shiny new toys and fancier clothes. She had duct tape over her shoes to keep the soles from falling off.

She would sit behind her doll box and give Max the most grand shows. She always had a different storyline, usually something with action to keep Max interested, and would change her voice to match the different characters.

“Why is he staying over?” Max asked one night, tilting her head in confusion as she interrupted Kim’s story. 

“He’s her boyfriend, duh.” Kim had told her, like it was the most obvious thing.

“What’s that mean?” Max asked, looking just as confused as what Kim felt. She thought for a moment, trying to remember if she knew what boyfriends and girlfriends did.

“I don’t know,” Kim shrugged her shoulders, “I guess it’s like a sleepover.” She had been invited to a sleepover once, but was unable to go because she had to watch Max. She didn’t mind. Her and Max still shared the same bed so it was like they had a sleepover every night. What was better than that?

“If you say so.” After all of that, Kim would get Max tucked into bed. She’d kiss the top of her forehead and then she’d continue her father’s old routine. She’d stomp through the bedroom, yanking open the closet and yelling under the bed in case there were any monsters lurking. She didn’t like to do it at first, because monsters were scary. But it always made Max sleep and feel better. She didn’t want her little sister to be scared. 

“Hey dip shit!” She screamed as she pulled the closet door open. She wouldn’t find out that dip shit was a bad word until a few weeks later in school. It was the first time she had ever gotten in trouble with a teacher, “You better get out of there! Or I’ll get you with these!” She would always pretend to pull out imaginary guns from her sides. She’d pretend to shoot into the closet, then fall over on the ground dramatically because it always made Max laugh. Once she was done, she’d close the closet tightly and crawl into bed with Max. Max would always curl up to her, always twice as small as her.

“I miss daddy.” Max would admit at night. Kim would stroke her hair the same way her mom used to do to her. She missed daddy a lot. She missed mom too. She wished mom didn’t work so much. She would leave way too early in the morning and come back when the girls were already asleep. She kept Sundays off, that was reserved for family she would say.

“Max?” Kim would ask softly, pressing her cheek against Max’s forehead. Max would huff but snuggle closer to her. 

“Hm?” Max’s eyes would always be fluttering closed at this time. Kim never tried to say too much at this point, knowing she would have a hard time sleeping afterwards. 

“Love you higher than the moon-,” Kim would smile softly at the feeling of Max’s arms tightening around her. Max would always smile at this point too. 

“More than the stars in the sky!”

1979

“Kim,” Susan had approached her on a Sunday when Sam had taken Max out to look for the cheapest pair of new shoes that they could afford, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Kim sat up on her bed and placed her book down near her pillow. She liked being at the library. It was quiet and she felt like she could read for hours. It was easy to lose herself in the plot. She didn’t feel so lonely when she did so. Her mother looked at her seriously as she sat down on the bed by Kim. 

“Any extra money you have, needs to go in here,” Susan tapped her fingers against a decorated tin cookie jar, “Your father is gambling our money. I’m going to hide it in here so he can’t find it. Okay? You can’t take anything from it.” She told her quickly. Kim knew better than to take money from them, but she was confused suddenly. Was her dad in trouble? She really hoped not. She nodded her head quickly.

“Why in here?” Kim asked her softly, not liking that it would be in their room. She felt like she was keeping a secret from Max if she did so. Susan smiled tightly. 

“He won’t be able to find it and I know that you won’t tell him,” She was watching Kim closely, looking for anything that she might be hiding. Her mom had told her plenty of times before that daddy wasn’t allowed to take any of the extra money they had stashed away. As she grew older, the more she was aware of her daddy’s struggles, “Promise?”

“I promise.” Kim felt like she couldn’t tell her mom anything else. What was she really supposed to do? She didn’t want to upset her mom, but she didn’t want to upset her daddy either. She gulped hard, realizing it was a complicated situation. She grabbed her book, reading it to distract herself as her mom fumbled around in her room for a good hiding spot. Kim didn’t want to know where it was hiding. She wished she didn’t know that it even existed. 

Max and her woke up to rustling. She looked at her father’s figure, watching as he tore their tiny room apart. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to wipe the sleep from them as she tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Daddy?” Max questioned innocently, sitting up on the edge of the bed. She looked worried. Kim sat up on her knees, feeling a sickening feeling traveling inside of her stomach. He snapped his head up quickly, looking towards them in despair.

“Where’d she put it?” Kim’s heart dropped at the sight of him. His hair was messy, there were dark bags under his eyes and he looked as if he hadn’t shaved in weeks. Most importantly, he was angry. Kim hadn’t seen him angry liked this before. 

“Put what?” She asked weakly, knowing exactly what he was talking about. She suddenly felt bad as she pulled her legs towards her chest. She was trying to hide her expression, trying to hide that she knew exactly what he was talking about. 

“The money.” His voice was rough as he snapped at her. She found herself wincing, pushing herself further into the corner of the walls as she pulled the blankets towards her chest. She shrugged her shoulders, trying to play it off. Max was watching her with shocked, round blue eyes. Kim didn’t want her to see how their dad was acting right now. 

“She hid it somewhere.” Kim spit out finally, unable to bear the look he was giving her any longer. She didn’t like that he was on his knees, tossing their things around as he looked through every nook and cranny in their room. He was checking the loose floorboards, looking through the holes in the walls. 

“Kim.” He spoke gravely, like this was a serious manner. She swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling close to tears. She didn’t want him to be mad at her, but she didn’t want to betray her mom either. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. She didn’t even know where her mom had placed it. 

“I don’t know.” She repeated again, watching as he rose from the ground. He was suddenly slamming doors, screaming, kicking his feet and punching his hands in the air at the same time. She nearly jumped out of her skin from how scared she felt at the moment. He was acting like a mad man. Max yelled out, pushing herself into Kim’s arms as he continued his frantic movements. Kim held her tightly, feeling a fear she hadn’t felt before. 

“Where is it?” He was screaming, spit was dripping down his lips as he held his hands against his face. She watched as he dragged his fingers down his face and the way he was breathing harshly. This wasn’t her father. This was someone else, something else. 

“I don’t know,” Her bottom lip was trembling and Max was whimpering from against her chest, “She didn’t tell me.” She answered honestly. He crossed the room, and placed his hands against her shoulders gently. Max pushed him away hard. He stared at them for a moment before he sat next to them, his eyes darting around hastily.

“You don’t want me to be hurt do you?” She shook her head no. She didn’t want anything bad to happen to him, “I need you to tell me where it’s at then.” She stared at him, unsure of what to do. She was afraid if she repeated herself then he’d get even more upset. She gulped, feeling how dry her mouth felt. 

“She didn’t tell me,” Kim was whimpering now, feeling so disappointed in herself. She didn’t want her daddy to be in pain. She wished she had looked when her mom had hid it, “I’m sorry.” She was sniffling, close to tears this time. He stared at her for the longest time, his eyes full of despair. She didn’t like that look, she didn’t like that he was looking at her like that. 

Sam rose from the bed, holding his head in his hands before he was leaving. Her heart was beating fast, then slow as the front door slammed shut behind him. Kim stared at the mess in her room, her arms feeling numb from how tightly she was holding onto Max. They laid there and cried for a bit, because Kim found the strength to get up and lock the front door. Max was still shaking, too confused to even ask what had happened. Kim was glad she didn’t ask her, she didn’t have any answers for her. 

Whoever that had been, hadn’t been her dad. He had never yelled at them before. He was a stranger and Kim hoped that she would never have to see that version of him again. 

///////////

Kim was scared.

She had been hurting in her tummy, strong pains that didn’t seem to go away. When she went to the bathroom and pulled her panties down, it was full of blood.

“I’m bleeding,” Her teacher was a male that year, but she didn’t know who else to go to. She was too shy to ask any of the other girl teachers. He looked at her confused, “In my vagina. It’s bleeding.”

“Oh,” His eyes were wide, wider than she had ever seen anyone’s eyes get, “It sounds like you’re on your period.” She stared, waiting for some kind of clarification while he grew quiet. Her heart was beating fast. She was bleeding and he wasn’t doing anything about it. As far as she was concerned, she could die. She didn’t think you could put a bandaid on down there. 

“I don’t know what that is.” She hesitated for a moment, unsure of why he couldn’t look her in the eyes. She felt like this was serious, she was hurting and he didn’t have the decency to look at her. 

“You’re kind of young but,” He shook his head, looking towards the rest of the class that was continuing to work on their science projects, “Head to the nurse, she can help you better.” She stared at him, not understanding what was happening. 

“I’m scared.” Kim could feel her heart beating fast in her chest. She was bleeding in a spot that she was sure wasn’t supposed to be bleeding. She was wondering how he could be so relaxed at this moment. She was scared she wouldn’t be able to get a hold of her parents. They didn’t have a working phone and her mom was working. She couldn’t let herself get hurt, she had to be there for Max. She couldn’t leave Max all alone. 

“It’s natural,” Her teacher exhaled slowly, “Your mom never talked about this with you?” She shook her head, knowing she didn’t get to speak much to her mom anymore. She had picked up a second job. They were struggling to make ends meet. Her dad had been searching for jobs for a long time and had fallen short each time. 

“Just go to the nurse then?” She asked, confirming that this wasn’t life threatening. He nodded softly at her. 

“Yeah,” He told her, “Come back whenever you’re ready.” She nodded, taking the pass from him. She walked with her hands behind her back, worried that people would be able to see the blood through her pants. 

“You need to stop getting in fights,” The nurse was criticizing a boy as Kim walked inside the room. She watched curiously, the nurse was dabbing a towel against his bloody face. He grumbled something out, “No excuses.” She told him seriously. Her eyes snapped towards Kim as the door slammed behind her. She gulped, looking over at them sheepishly with a wave. 

“I was told to come here,” Kim peeked her head in slowly, watching as the nurse pulled a wet rag away from the boy on the seat. His features were pulled into a hardened glare. His knuckles were bruised and his hair was shaved short. His blue eyes were so sharp that she felt like he was cutting into her, “I started my period. I don’t know what that means.” She told the nurse honestly. 

“Oh,” The nurse looked at her surprised before glancing back at the boy, “You’re good to go. Hold on, honey.” She went digging in one of the drawers as Kim fiddled with her fingers. He approached her, the right side of his face all bruised and smeared with blood. He looked scary and she felt fearful as he walked towards her. He paused, glancing at her. He was a few inches shorter than her. 

“Here,” He held out a red sports hoodie towards her, “It’ll cover it up.” He mumbled, his words slightly muffled from how his lip was swollen. She stared at him for a moment before she found the strength to reach her hands out to him. He placed it in her hands and she looked up at him unsure.

“How will I get it back to you?” She asked softly, feeling grateful as she began to wrap it around her waist. He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. She was sure he had clothes to spare. She hadn’t ever owned a hoodie before. She could feel the bright smile forming on her lips as she watched him, feeling a throbbing inside of her chest. 

“I don’t need it,” His reply was brisk and short, “You can keep it.” She felt her cheeks heating up and she nodded thankfully at him. She had never worn a boy's hoodie before. She had never really talked to a boy like this at all. He was kind of cute, despite that he was nearly a head shorter than her. 

“Thanks,” She squeaked out, sure that she was as red as a tomato. Her face burned in the same way it did when she had to speak in front of the class. He shrugged his shoulders, walking past her as he left the nurses office. She turned quickly, her eyes following him as he left. She gulped hard, feeling a warm feeling spread over her, “What’s a period?” She asked the nurse curiously, once she finally drew her eyes away from the door.

The nurse sat with her, explaining it thoroughly to her. She showed her how to use pads and even gave her a package once Kim explained that she didn’t have any at him. She would somehow have to tell her mom, she’d have to catch her before or after work. The nurse gave her a bag of M&M’s, but Kim saved them so she could share them with Max. After she went to the bathroom to put a pad on, she removed the hoodie and placed it up against her nose. She inhaled the scent of him, muffling her giggles in the material over her disbelief that a boy had given her a piece of his clothing. On the walk home Kim explained everything to her, trying to warn her so she’d be prepared. Max looked disgusted with the whole ordeal, but still munched on Kim’s M&M’s. 

She searched the halls the rest of the day, searching for the blue eyed boy that had gifted her his hoodie. She was thankful, knowing that no one had ever been that nice to her before. She couldn’t find him, no matter how hard she searched. 

When she got home she laid on her and Max’s bed and held the hoodie close to her face and breathed in the smell of him as she hugged it in her arms. She could feel herself giggling, thinking about the mysterious boy and wondering who he was. She hadn’t ever had a crush before, but she wondered if that’s what this was. She didn’t even know his name, but he smelt nice. He had pretty eyes. She waited up that night, craning her head out the window and clinging the hoodie to her chest tightly. She wished on the brightest star in the sky, hoping that she would see him again.

/////////

“You need to be careful,” Kim told Max as she cleaned her scraped knees. Max wrinkled her face up in pain, watching as Kim gently cleaned the wounds. She hadn’t seen their dad all week and was hoping that he was okay, “You cut yourself bad this time.” She mumbled as she dried the area before she stuck the bandaids on. They no longer spent too much time in the house. Usually they’d drop off their bags and go somewhere. Whether it was the beach, library, or the park. Staying inside the house was just too boring for them. Kim wished they had a TV, she wished she knew about the shows that other people were talking about. 

“I want to learn to skateboard,” Max said, huffing softly as she ignored Kim’s directions, “I wish we could get one.” Kim glanced up at her, feeling bad as she looked at Max’s hopeful face. She was wearing an outfit that Kim had worn a few years ago, meaning that it was too baggy for her. Kim had been twice as tall at the age Max was now. She had stretch marks on her back to prove it. She felt bad, wishing she had money so she could buy Max her own skateboard. 

“At least you have a bike,” Kim offered. It was their dad’s old one and he spent a lot of days using it now. Kim only hoped that he didn’t lose it, “That has to mean something.” She tried to see the bright side of things. Max hesitated for a moment before she stood up.

“I found this,” Max spoke as she lifted the lid from the tank of the toilet. Kim walked over curiously, looking down in it and feeling her heart drop. She was sure daddy had stopped drinking. She stared at all of the bottles, “What do we do?” 

Kim hesitated as she lifted one out of the water. Without a word she unscrewed the lid and tipped the bottle over, letting it drain into the tub. He did stupid things when he was drunk. He had a habit of stealing money, getting mom in trouble at work. She had lost her job last month. Dad had worked at the hospital as a janitor so they could work similar shift and mom could keep an eye on him. She had heard mom accusing him of stealing something. Kim didn’t want to believe it, but they had both lost their jobs as a result.

Max followed her over, doing the same thing. When they were all empty, they filled the bottles with water from the sink and replaced the lid back on the toilet. 

/////////

Kim had outgrew the bed.

She had it for so long, it was still child sized. Her feet would dangle off the end and her and Max were too big to sleep in it anymore. She wasn’t sure how it happened, but she got a new one. It was longer and she was happy she got to sleep in something that was her own. Their room felt even smaller now. 

The beds were on opposite walls and their dresser had to sit at an odd angle because it was too big to fit in between both beds. It felt weird not sleeping with Max and the first few nights Max crawled into her new bed anyways. If it stormed or if Kim got too scared at night they would share a bed, not caring if they got too crowded.

It was especially bad during the winters. More often than not, they couldn’t afford heat or make the bills to pay for it. Max and her would lay under layers and layers of blankets trying to stay warm. Max would always ask her to tell her a story and occasionally, they’d still repeat their line about the moon and stars. 

1980 

He was leaving. 

Daddy was leaving and Kim didn’t understand why. He hadn’t said much about it, just that things weren’t working with mom.

“I don’t get it,” She had been blubbering, Max had been in the same state, “You barely see each other. Why is it a problem now?” It had been so long since she had seen them do anything together. She thought that maybe it was even before Max was born. It had been that long.

“Kim,” He looked at her with those soft blue eyes. They looked pained. He had been worse lately, out more and drinking more. He looked tired, older. He was still her daddy though. She didn’t want him to leave. Their house was tiny and their neighbors were loud, but it was their house. How could he just leave them? They were family, they were supposed to stick the hard things out together, “Things are different now.”

“Why?” Max had demanded, eyes full of tears, “Why are they different?” She hadn’t ever been one to shy away from demanding the truth. She was clutching onto their dads shirt, like she was still a small child. 

“Because,” He breathed out, his eyes narrowly avoiding Kim’s. She knew his addiction had been worse. It had taken her a long time to realize what he had been doing, but she didn’t hate him. She felt sorry for him, she wanted to help him, “Because I have to.”

“Is mom making you leave?” Max was angry as she spoke, her voice nearly cutting off from the tears that were forming in her eyes, “She can’t make you leave!” Max protested, breathing harshly as she spoke.

“No,” Sam sighed softly, “She’s not making me leave. I’m choosing to leave. I need to make myself better.” Kim was close to wailing. She was crying just as hard as Max as she stared at him. 

“What about us?” She asked, feeling her heart breaking into tiny pieces. She didn’t understand what they had done wrong, why he was leaving them. Sam looked at them softly, his blue eyes watering over. 

“I’ll always love you both. We can write, I promise I’ll answer every letter,” He took their hands softly and squeezed, “I’m so proud of the two of you. You deserve the whole world and I wish I had been the one to give it to you.” She didn’t understand. She didn’t want the whole world, she just wanted her dad.

Nothing they said mattered after that. He left with the clothes he had on and one little backpack. He didn’t take any pictures of them with him. Like it was a promise he would be back soon. He wasn’t. Hours turned into days, into weeks, then months. Kim wrote to him every day but she had yet to get an answer back. 

Max didn’t cry as much as the weeks past, but she grew bitter. She grew furious. She was wrathful, placing blame on their mom and doing all in her power to let their mom know that it was solely her fault. She was acting up in school, causing problems where there shouldn’t be. Their mom was to her last straw but Kim made excuses for Max every single time. Max was only eight, she still had a lot of growing to do. Kim felt like she had a right to be mad if she wanted to be. Her whole world had just changed without warning. 

Susan started to date a lot after that. It felt weird to have another man in their house that wasn’t their father. There had been Doug, Levi, then George. She had temporarily seen a David. Each one seemed to be worse than the next. Kim could no longer count on her fingers the amount of times one of them had taken advantage of their mother.

Not to mention, they were creepy. Majority of them would take a special interest in the girls, their eyes wandering whenever they would come over. Sometimes they’d sit too close, be too touchy. Max had no issue calling them out, which is how the majority of Susan’s relationships got ruined. 

“”What did you do?” Susan had stormed into the house, her makeup in disarray as she stared at the two girls. Kim had paused from her homework, unsure of what to say as Max straightened her shoulders and stood taller. 

“You’ll have to be more specific.” Max replied dryly, her eyes looking towards her mother uninterested. Max had not taken the divorce well. She was spiraling, worse than Kim had ever spiraled. 

“Did you or did you not key his car?” Susan’s hands were shaking from her anger. Kim glanced towards Max, automatically knowing the answer. She sighed, wishing that Max had a different way to fuel her anger.

“Hm,” Max had tapped her finger against her chin playfully, “You know, I actually don’t recall.” Max always had a fire deep inside of her, but it had come out worse recently in the past few months. Everything their mom did was wrong. She always had something to say.

“Max!” Susan was frustrated as she stared at the younger girl, slamming her hands down on the table, “How could you do something like that? How am I supposed to pay for it?” Susan was staring at her, waiting for whatever witty answer Max came up with. 

“I don’t think-” Kim glanced towards Max, quickly trying to think of an excuse to get Max out of this situation. She didn’t care if Max had done it or not. He had insulted Max the last time he had been over. Kim was sure that he had deserved it. 

“Not now, Kimberly!” Kim jumped at the harsh tone, feeling tears welling in her eyes. She had never grown used to being yelled at. 

“Hey, don’t yell at her! This isn’t her fault!” Max stood up for Kim like always, putting herself between the two older women. Kim exhaled deeply, trying to get a hold of herself. 

“Max, you’re out of control. You can’t do things like that.” Susan was trying to make some sense, but Max looked like she could care less about what she was saying. Kim knew she really didn’t mean it. She was just hurting. They weren’t allowed to speak about their dad if mom was here. Not to mention that he hadn’t seen them since the day he left. Max was in pain.

“It’s not my fault,” Max crossed her hands over her chest, “You were never here.” Max shot back. Kim winced, it was true. Before it wasn’t really her mom’s fault, she had to work. Kim understood that. Now, she was still gone most of the time. She had dates, she was living her life. Kim wasn’t sure how she was able to do that when they could barely afford eggs. She always kept her mouth shut, not wanting to be yelled at. 

“Your dad gambled all of our money away! He drank it all down the drain! It’s not my fault that all of this had happened. It’s his!” Susan was snapping, looking more furious than Kim had seen her in a long time. She felt a dagger in her back, hating the reminder of what their father had done. 

“Don’t talk bad about him!” Max screamed back, looking as frustrated as her mom. Kim sighed softly, wishing that it would all just stop. It was like this every night. 

“Go to your room. Both of you.” Susan said at last, giving them both a hard look. Kim glanced down at her homework before looking up at her mom confused. 

“What did I do?” She asked seriously, not thinking that it was fair to get shoved into her room. She hadn’t been the one to key his car, she hadn’t done anything. Susan exhaled, her nostrils flaring. Kim had struck another nerve. 

“You’re supposed to be watching her! I need your help and you’re not pulling your weight! I can’t do this on my own!” Susan was yelling dramatically. Kim felt her eyebrows hitting the top of her forehead. She had a strange urge to laugh. She knew she was doing more than enough. She had been doing it her whole life. Max had always been her responsibility and to act like she didn’t do it well was ridiculous. 

“What am I not doing? Because I haven’t been able to do anything because I always watch Max. I don’t mind, but it’s not fair for you to blame me.” Kim was trying to reason with her, rather than argue. She knew that her mom was mad but it still wasn’t fair towards her. Susan just stared for the longest time. 

“Room. Now.” She demanded. Kim slammed her math book shut before she followed Max back to their room. Max waited until they were both inside before she slammed the door so hard that their whole apartment shook. Kim plopped down on her bed, frowning to herself.

“I’m sorry I got you in trouble,” Max spoke up, peeking her head towards Kim’s sprawled out form, “I didn’t mean for you to get into trouble too.” Kim sighed, turning to face her sister. She never blamed her for anything that happened. Her mom often blamed her for Max’s attitude, saying that she spoiled her. Kim knew it wasn’t true. She had nothing to spoil Max with. She just understood that she was going through a lot right now.

“It’s fine, not your fault,” Kim reassured her softly, smiling as she did so, “I think this is our first real punishment.” Max smiled brightly, her blue eyes twinkling. 

“She was really mad,” Max admitted, looking a little less gleeful, “I don’t know how any of those guys are any better than daddy. Everything feels worse with him gone.” Kim nodded her head, agreeing with her completely. Even if their dad did mess up, more often than not, it still felt like their home was complete with him now. It was like their house had a gaping hole inside of it. 

///////////

“Kim,” Max had approached her one day after school. Kim was staring at a recipe card, trying to figure out what the tiny print had said, “Do you ever feel like you weren’t born in the right body?” Kim looked up at her confused. 

“What do you mean?” She asked concerned, not really understanding what she was meaning. Max shrugged her shoulders as she leaned against one of the counters. 

“I don’t know,” Max admitted softly, “Sometimes I just don’t feel like I'm who I’m supposed to be.” There was a hazy look in her eyes. Kim dropped the card and stepped forward, pulling Max towards her even though Max protested. She relaxed in her arms after a moment before she held onto Kim tightly.

“I’ll love you no matter what,” Kim’s cheek was pressed against Max’s head as she swayed her back and forth. Max giggled after a moment, but Kim was sure that she heard her sniffling, “I’ll always be your biggest supporter.” She told Max seriously. She didn’t know a lot of things, but she knew there was nothing that could make her not love her sister. 

“I just,” Max breathed against her chest, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to be a girl if I don’t act like you. I don’t like dresses and frilly things.” Kim furrowed her eyebrows together, gently pulling Max back to look down at her.

“Being a girl doesn’t mean you have to like those things. You can like sports and not want to wear dresses and still be a girl,” Kim booped her nose softly, “It doesn’t have to be one way or the other.” Max watched her for a long time before she nodded, holding her sister tightly. 

Susan was upset about something when she woke up. She was working overnights instead of during the day. She’d wake up about six, right when dinner was ready. She was stressed about something, so that meant that everything was wrong.

“We just had spaghetti, Kim,” Susan sighed as she pushed her hair from her face. Kim frowned, giving up on the recipe after realizing they didn’t have half of the ingredients that they needed, “I want something different. I want real food.” Kim motioned towards the fridge.

“We don’t have anything,” She told her sheepishly, “You didn’t go grocery shopping this week.” Susan stared at her for the longest time before she held her head in her hands.

“Shit,” Susan grumbled in frustration, “Max, please for the love of god change the shirt. It’s so unflattering. You look like a boy.” Max looked at her offended.

“So?” Max sassed back, never having the issue of doing so. Kim gave her a look, sometimes wishing she could just ignore their mother’s snide comments.

“You’re not a boy.” Susan looked up at her and exhaled deeply. Max just stared back, not saying anything. It was quiet for the longest time, until Kim thought of something to say.

“I can start going grocery shopping if you want,” Kim offered. She already spent her free time searching for coupons, “If you just leave me the cash.” She added at the end. Susan was still staring at Max, like she hadn’t even heard Kim.

“You need to stop with the boys' clothes. Your dad shouldn’t have left them, you’re both ladies.” Susan clarified. Max only stared, not saying anything. Kim felt a pang in her heart, thinking of their conversation earlier. 

“Just leave the cash and I’ll get the groceries.” Kim tried again. Susan didn’t eat that night, obviously too annoyed with whatever was happening at work. She had left the little cash she had in an envelope with Kim’s name on it.

“Max,” Kim rolled over on her bed, to face Max. She had been quiet the whole night since their mom left, “I think you’d be a kickass boy, if you wanted to be one. You’re a pretty kickass girl too.” Max had grinned from ear to ear. Kim started renting magazines, books, anything that featured females in sports and other areas that defied gender norms so she could have something to make Max’s day a little bit better. 

Kim did as she promised and went shopping that weekend. Usually she’d have Max tag along but she had felt bad after last night. She had given her a few dollars for the arcade, knowing she wasn’t supposed to, before she went to get the groceries. Max promised to be done by the time she came back. 

When she came back, Max’s hair was cut into a small bob. Kim’s eyes had widened in surprise, not expecting the sight in front of her. Max’s hair was shaggy and uneven and she had looked unnaturally pale. She stood with her hands in her pockets, staring at the ground as she waited for Kim to speak. 

“Nice,” Kim smiled, looking at the edges and deciding she’d ask if she could even it out for her when they got home, “Can you carry these bags?” She knew Max wasn’t the type to be pressed over, so she didn’t. Max just smiled widely and did as she asked. 

Mom’s reaction was anything but pleasant. She had nearly cried when she’d seen it, but Max only shrugged her shoulders. Susan had kept fussing about it, telling her that she needed to take better care of it so boys would notice her. 

“Did dad stay for your hair?” Kim had nearly choked on her food and Susan had grown unusually quiet. She had left early again that night, but Max looked like she didn’t care. 

“I like it short,” Max touched her bob softly as she faced Kim in her bed, “It stays out of my face when I bike.” Kim placed her magazine down as she turned to face her. 

“It reminds me of Dorothy Hamill,” Kim told her, resting her hand on her cheek and smiling, “It looks cool.”

1982

Kim had a crush on Adrian Romano.

He was funny and kind and had the biggest hazel eyes. They had advanced algebra together and he often asked her for help. She liked when he would lean across her desk, completely engulfed in her space. He always smelt like leather and a hint of citrus. He would always flash her a lopsided smirk when she’d explain the problem to him.

“What are you doing on Friday?” He surprised her one afternoon. He kept tapping his finger against her knuckles as she pointed to the problem she was explaining to him. She looked up at him surprised.

“What am I doing?” She looked to him for clarity. He chuckled, pushing his black strands from his forehead. She liked how dark his hair was, how pretty it looked. 

“Yeah, I was thinking you could come over. My buddy and I were thinking of trying something.” She was too naive to notice the gleam in his eyes. She suddenly felt herself growing shy. She barely knew Adrian and she had no idea who his friend was.

“I don’t think I can,” She admitted, “I have to watch my sister.” She had never minded watching Max before, but she did now. She suddenly didn’t want to. She wanted to be normal and go out and have fun. Especially with someone as cute as Adrian. 

“Awe come on, it would be fun,” He persisted, “At least think about it. It would be fun to get to know you a little better.” His fingers brushed across her knuckles gently, earning a shy laugh from her. She felt like one of the ditzy girls that everyone would make fun. She didn’t know how she wasn’t supposed to when Adrian was watching her like that. 

“I guess I could try,” She said softly, trying to figure out a way that she wouldn’t have to watch Max, “I would have to ask my mom.” She mumbled as the bell rang. He stood first, waiting for her to gather her things into her bag. He walked with her, making her feel more giddy. She couldn’t believe that she was actually talking to a boy and that he was interested in her. He nudged her with his shoulder softly, pushing her towards his locker. 

“Promise?” She held out her pinky, waiting for him to do the same, “No, you’re cute. You’ve got to seal it with a kiss.” He stared down at her. She blushed, liking the feeling of having a boy actually have to look down at her. Not to mention that he had called her cute. She felt like her chest was going to collapse in on itself. She giggled as she leaned against his locker, feeling bashful. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” She mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ears, “I don’t know how to.” She didn’t want to seem stupid. His lips curled into a lazy smile.

“Everyone has to learn at some point,” He persisted, his smile sending butterflies through her stomach, “And I’d love to be your first.” Her face was still hot as she nodded shyly, agreeing to whatever he was saying. She had never had a guy be interested in her before, she wasn’t going to ruin that now. 

His head dipped down slowly, so slow and she felt as if time had stopped around them. Their lips met in two awkward pecks, as she had absolutely no clue what she was doing. Despite the fact, it gave her a chilling feeling down to her toes.

She pulled away in a fit of giggles, smiling so hard that it hurt her face, “I’ll see you then.” She promised, feeling the urge to play with her hair. He grinned and she could feel the sparks traveling across her lips.

“I think you’ll really like my friend,” He told her, walking her towards the exit. She’d be late getting to Max’s school now, but she thought that it was okay. Max wouldn’t mind once she found out why. Kim barely paid attention to the mention of his friend, too happy that she had gained his attention, “See you then.” He pressed a kiss against her cheek, lighting her up like a Christmas tree.

She skipped all the way to Max’s school, she practically skipped home. She didn’t think that this classified Adrian as being her boyfriend, but it was close enough. She could barely sit in class with him, too distracted about what could happen by Friday. 

Of course, things never went her way, “Why can’t I go?” She was already in tears, looking at her mom’s defiant features. Susan sighed deeply, already dressed up.

“I have a date, you need to watch Max,” Susan said simply as she picked her purse up, “Plus, you’re too young for a boyfriend anyways.” Kim was so frustrated. Her mom had already been out twice in the past week. Kim thought it was time that she got a turn.

“I have never complained about watching Max,” She told her mom seriously, in a desperate manner, “I’m asking for this one thing. Please.” She tried again, holding her hands together in hopes that her mom would change her mind. She sighed.

“If you take Max with you, then you can go.” Kim felt her stomach fall. She knew there was no way she’d be able to take Max with her. Adrian and his friend wouldn’t want a little girl hanging out around them. So she took the defeat, slammed the bathroom door shut behind her and cried in the tub. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t allowed to live her life when her mom was allowed to do whatever she wanted. It wasn’t fair.

She had tried to explain to Adrian what had happened but he didn’t seem that interested in her after that. He was still nice, he still smiled the same way towards her, but he no longer tried to ask her to come over. She felt lost, feeling as if her life was flashing by and she wasn’t able to experience it. 

1983

Kim was happy for her mom. She really was. 

She had met a new guy that she couldn’t stop speaking about. Things had been rough lately. She wasn’t wanting to work as much, which meant money was even tighter. She had been staying overnights with this guy. Kim resumed her usual duties of taking care of Max and making sure she was staying on top of her homework. Kim had taken to walking dogs, watching her neighbors cats, babysitting and doing odd things to earn whatever money she could. She felt bad that she had to drag Max along with her, but Max usually found something fun to do. She was always getting hurt from whatever rough game she had found to busy herself with. 

“You’re going to love him,” Susan had promised. She had dressed both of them up as nicely as she could. Kim was wearing one of her dresses. It was too tight on the chest and didn’t accommodate her height very well. It went up past her mid thigh but Kim didn’t say anything to complain about it. Max was doing all of that, “I promise.” They were meeting at the beach and Kim could still smell the sunscreen on her after she practically bathed her and Max in it. 

“I doubt that,” Max mumbled underneath her breath. She was holding onto Kim’s hand, keeping a distance away from Susan. Things were still bad between the two of them. It only seemed to grow worse the more that they didn’t hear from their daddy. Kim missed him deeply. She had always hoped that her parents would work their differences out, but not she knew that it was too good to be true, “I hope he dies.” Max mumbled, low enough for Kim to hear. Kim nudged her softly, giving her a knowing look.

“I’m sure we will.” Kim inhaled deeply, always trying to be the one to keep the peace between the two of them. Neil seemed nice enough, a little too nice. Max had figured that he was trying to overcompensate, trying to force his way into their lives so he could be their dad. Kim had tried to reassure her, but she had already grown bitter. Kim felt indifferent about him. What she really didn’t like was the way that his son made her feel. 

She could tell immediately that Billy was closed off. He reminded her a lot of Max, thinking that they acted similarly. They were both reserved and only offered as much information as they wanted you to know. She had tried hard, but he didn’t seem interested in anything she had to say. He was just as bitter. 

She wasn’t dumb. She knew she found him attractive but it was hard not to. His skin was a golden tan, his short hair was dirty blonde and he had piercing blue eyes. She had a hard time looking him in the eye. He always seemed like he was looking for her to do something wrong. Her biggest problem was that she felt like she knew him. She swore that she had met him before, but couldn’t find any memories that could confirm it for her. He was a stranger, but he didn’t feel like a stranger. 

She couldn’t tell if he had a good relationship with Neil or not. Neil was always around him, touching his shoulder whenever they were at outings. She had noticed once that Neil had squeezed his shoulder so tight that his fingers were turning colors when Susan had been asking him about his mom. Billy had looked so angry, but he answered her anyway. She felt bad suddenly, realizing that it was better to keep his mom out of their conversations. 

They had a cake after their wedding. It was weird. The first time they’d ever officially had cake in their family and it was for their mom. She was still happy for her, but it made her miss her dad. He hadn’t been answering. They had a phone now, but he hadn’t answered her so far. 

Max was sullen, hiding away whenever she got. Kim tried her best to comfort her but she was clearly going through her own struggles at the moment. Kim knew she preferred to be alone when she was like this, so she was doing her best to support her. Susan and Neil had left for the night. It kept making Kim cringe, thinking about why they had left for a full night. 

“It’s too sweet,” Billy had complained, using his finger to scoop a wad of it off the top. She wasn’t sure what had compelled her to do it, whether she was so giddy that things were finally going well or that it had been the first time they’d had cake in a long time. She leaned across the table, crossing her arms as she licked the frosting off of his finger. She pulled away, licking the sweetness from her lips as he stared at her. His eyes were twice the size as usual, the blue looked so much clearer this way. Her cheeks heated up as if she had suddenly done something wrong. Her and Max ate off of each other’s plates and did similar things to each other all the time, “Did you just lick my finger?” He finally spoke up again. She tried to find the courage to speak, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. 

“Yes,” She said simply as her eyebrows furrowed together. He stared at her for the longest time, his cheeks turning pink before he shook his head quickly and stared down at his plate like, “I’m sorry.” She offered after a beat. He adjusted in his chair, looking flustered. 

“S’okay,” He said at last, exhaling deeply, “It was just icing.” He shrugged his shoulders finally, trying to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. She really hoped that it wasn’t. She was mentally kicking herself, wishing that she could think a little bit harder about her actions before she did them. 

They had their own rooms now, but it didn’t feel right. Everything in her room was new. The bed, the mattress, the dressers. Nothing from their apartment, rather than their clothes and necessities, came with them. She felt bad, looking into her closet full of new clothes when she had witnessed Neil tossing Billy a ton of his old shirts and pants. She really didn’t like that all of a sudden Billy was in charge of them. 

He took them to and from school, which she didn’t mind at all, but she didn’t like that she wasn’t supposed to be the one watching Max anymore. She had done that her whole life. Neil had insisted it was fine, Billy was older. But in the back of her mind she still knew that Max was her baby.

She didn’t know what to do with her new found freedom. She had a few friends, but she had missed out on so many sleepovers and hang outs that she was always the last pick of the group. She didn’t have the same attachments that the rest of them did. 

She found herself at the library a lot, unsure of what she was supposed to do now that she had time to herself. She always loved to read before, but now she was burning through books twice as fast. Billy would complain every time he had to drop her off but she always promised she’d do something in return for him. He’d always shut up after that.

Max didn’t like going to the library either, so they always sat outside and waited for her. Sometimes she’d take too long, she knew that. But she liked being able to have different options. Max had taken to bringing a skateboard when they went and forcing Billy to show her how to do different tricks while they waited. 

She hadn’t really paid attention to the book when she grabbed it. It was in the romance section and the plot sounded nice. She was six chapters in when the word first appeared on the page.

Cock.

She had stared, then she had stared some more. Her whole body had lit up like a Christmas tree, her body burning in a deep warmth. She felt a rush travel down to her core, something that she had never felt before. She felt so shameful at the moment, realizing what kind of dirty book she was reading. She had peeked over her shoulder at her closed door, before she devoured the rest of the book in one sitting.

She had laid there that night, underneath her blankets and feeling completely too warm for her own good. She had a throbbing sensation between her legs, a feeling that wouldn’t go away. She kept squeezing her thighs together and moving her hips forward because it felt good. She had paused for a long time, her heart fluttering in her chest as her hand slowly traveled down her body. Her nipples hardened at the sensation and goosebumps drew against her skin. She placed a palm over her underwear, slowly sliding her hips up to meet the sensation. 

She gasped loudly, her cheeks heating at the sound. She had never heard something like that leave her mouth before. She was suddenly self conscious, drawing her hand away and stiffening in fear that someone had heard her. 

She was hooked after that. She had found something new and exciting to keep her interested in her boring life. She read book after book, binging through the whole library. Neil had started giving them a very small allowance, but each time she used it to purchase one of her books. It was risky, she knew that someone could find out, but they all seemed bored by the aspect of the romance. 

Except for Billy. He would constantly tease her about the books that she was reading, as if he knew what they were about. Her face would burn and she would deny it, but he always had a knowing look on his face. She tried to reassure herself that he was only teasing her because he was irritated that he had to be in charge of them now.

Still, despite him seeming so bitter at times, she did her best to bond with him. She still didn’t feel like he was a brother. She really didn’t know how to feel about him, but describing him as her brother only made her sick to her stomach. He was something else. 

“Is that a TV?” Kim tried not to ever peek into Billy’s room, but she was too curious this time as she looked at him resting on his bed. He was laughing at something, looking straight ahead. He looked towards her surprised, his midriff exposed from the cropped shirt he was wearing. Kim’s face burned. It was the most skin she had ever seen from a boy.

“Yes, this is a TV,” He looked confused, “It’s Cheers, it’s really funny.” He told her. She found herself walking into the room, looking at the TV in confusion. He watched her for a moment, a funny look on his face. 

“I’ve never heard of it before.” She told him, glancing back towards him. He looked at her confused, his eyebrows raised high on his face. 

“You’ve never watched Cheers?” He looked at her for clarity. She felt a bit embarrassed as she shrugged her shoulders. There were a lot of TV shows she hadn’t heard of. 

“I’ve never really watched anything,” She admitted, “We didn’t have a TV.” She didn’t understand how someone could have two TV’s. Neil wasn’t even that rich. He had money, but he still bought the same great value brands that they did. He was cautious with his money, but it didn’t sound like he ever struggled to pay the heat bill. They weren’t rich by any means, but this was like a mansion to Kim. 

He watched her for a long time as she glanced towards the TV again, totally enthralled by the conversation that was happening on the TV. He scooted over on his bed, close against the wall before he spoke to her again, “You can watch it for a while. It’s really good.” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to. Susan had warned her that Billy probably wouldn’t like people invading his space. He was used to being an only child, he wouldn’t understand what it was like to have siblings. 

“Okay.” She rested against the side of his bed, a bit awkward. She hadn’t ever sat in anyone else’s bed before. It felt weird, knowing that Max was the only person she had ever shared a bed with. He was right though. Cheers was funny, and the more it played the more she found herself relaxing around him. He wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t as scary as her mom had made him out to be. He had a nice laugh and didn’t seem as upset when Neil wasn’t around him. They had an odd relationship, she realized. She wasn’t even thinking as she rested against his warm skin. She laid her head on his shoulder, missing the way he stiffened under her touch. She breathed in softly, realizing that he smelled nice. She held onto his arm, curling up to him as he stayed put in the same spot. He never protested, so she figured it must be okay. 

“Hey,” Neil was leaning against the door, looking in at them with an intensity that she didn’t understand, “What’s going on here?” Billy’s arm had stiffened up against hers. She smiled kindly at Neil, motioning towards the TV.

“Billy was showing me Cheers,” She pointed towards the TV, “I don’t really know how it works. We’ve never had one before.” She explained to Neil. She wasn’t sure she would even figure out how to switch the channels. Neil hesitated before he smiled at her.

“Why don’t you watch it in the living room?” His eyes were looking towards Billy as he spoke, “I think the TV is better in that.” She didn’t catch onto anything but nodded her head in agreement. She slowly untangled herself from Billy’s arm, smiling brightly as she did so.

“Can you show me how to put it on in there?” She asked him hopefully. He nodded his head stiffly, his blue eyes wandering over her features, “Thank you.” She bounced towards the living room, sending Neil another bright smile as she did so.

/////////

She wasn’t sure how she had missed how terrible Neil was. He was awful, a completely terrible person. She was frozen in the kitchen, with Max by her side before she came to her senses. Billy had left a few seconds earlier, his nose still dripping blood. Kim had a sick feeling spreading inside of her.

“He beat him,” She rushed outside, towards where her mother had left not long ago, “He beat Billy.” Her cheeks were wet from crying. She was scared, so terrified. They had to leave now and they had to take Billy with him.

“It was my fault,” Max was crying, holding onto Kim’s arm, “I told him to go fast. It was all my fault.” She was almost hysterical, her chest rising and falling fast. Susan smiled stiffly at them.

“Billy is Neil’s son,” She drew out slowly, “It’s not our place to tell him how to discipline his son.” Kim stared at her mom, sure that this was someone else. Her mother would never say this. She couldn’t be saying this.

“How long until he hits us?” Max’s bottom lip was still quivering but she was looking at Susan with anger in her eyes. Susan’s smile dropped and she reached out to take both of her daughter’s hands.

“He won’t do that to us, okay?” Susan gulped hard, “I know this is a difficult situation but we’ll get through it. You know how Billy is.” Kim stared at her for the longest time before she was yanking her hand away. Susan sighed.

“What does that mean?” Kim asked, completely serious and feeling a little disgusted with her mother. It was like she was a different person, it was like she was someone else. 

“Billy can get out of control-” Susan started to explain but Kim had already heard enough. 

“So he deserves to get hit? Did you even see what Neil did? What he was saying to him. We need to take Billy and leave, now.” Kim was asking her mother seriously. She thought of how Susan used to tell Max she was out of control. Did Max and Billy not act the same way? What would Neil do once Max had another episode? Her mother looked at her tiredly.

“And go where?” Susan asked seriously, resting her hands neatly on her lap. Kim frowned, staring at her in disbelief. She was acting as if there was nowhere else. They had survived before, they could do it again.

“Dad would take us all in. We could stay with grandma.” Max spoke up quickly, glancing up towards Kim for support. It took a moment but Kim nodded her head in agreement. She knew it wasn’t the best circumstances but they could survive. Their dad would never want them to be hit by someone. 

“I’m not going anywhere with your father.” Susan spoke stiffly. She rubbed her hands across her thighs and sighed, looking as if she was trying to find a way to explain it to them. Kim wouldn’t ever understand her reasoning. 

“Then you can stay here and get your ass beat.” Max spoke through her teeth, an anger brewing deep inside of her eyes. Kim touched her arm softly, shaking her head no. 

“Max,” Kim sighed, “Mom, we can’t stay here. It’s not safe. We can’t just leave Billy behind either.” She tried to reason with her again. Her mom had to know better. It would just be a matter of time before Neil lost it on one of them too. 

“There’s no where to go,” Susan cried out, looking at them desperately, “Besides, we couldn’t take Billy. He’s not my son.” She shook her head no, as if it was a silly thought. Kim paused again, finding her take ridiculous. 

“You said we were family now. Families are supposed to stick together.” Kim tried not to think of her dad as she spoke, but it was true. How could they expect them to all move in together and pretend that they weren’t a family? Billy was apart of them now, whether or not her mom liked it. 

“There’s no point in talking to her, Kim,” Max spoke up again, anger still lacing on her tongue “All mom knows how to do is leave those behind who need help. She’s selfish.” She spoke softly, staring down at their mother. 

Things turned tense quickly. Susan looked up at Max, her eyes hardening. Max stood her ground, waiting for her to say anything. She didn’t. Susan simply stood, pushed past the two of them, and followed the path that Neil had taken. Kim stared after her, not understanding why her mom was acting like this.

When they went back inside, Kim scrubbed Billy’s blood from the kitchen floor. There was so much of it. She was worried that he was bleeding out. She had gone to his room not long after cleaning up the blood, only to stare at the lock on the outside of the door. She paused for a moment, realizing that Neil had locked him inside of his room. She felt sick again, her heart breaking a little bit for the boy inside. He was caged in like an animal. She realized why he was so moody at times, why he was so quick to anger. It was Neil.

She had checked on him that night, she checked on him many nights after that. After that event, Neil no longer hid who he was. After each incident she would beg her mom to take them all away. Susan never agreed, always telling her that they had nowhere to go. Kim thought it would be better to live together and with nothing than to be stuck in a house with Neil. Her mom thought differently. 

“Why don’t you just leave?” She asked suddenly, one night when she was cleaning the blood from his nose. He never really talked to her, just sort of sat there and let her do her thing. Usually she would ramble to fill the awkward silence in the room. She talked a lot when she was nervous and for some reason she was always nervous around him. He just stared at her with his piercing blue eyes, keeping quiet. He furrowed his eyebrows together.

“Why would I leave?” His tone was sharp as he looked at her. She paused for a moment, looking up from her movements at his intense eyes. He looked almost angry. 

“Because of the way your dad treats you.” She spoke softly, putting the rag down between them. He always sat in front of his window after, staring out towards the moon and over the houses where he could peak at the beach. Their knees were touching from the positon they were sitting in. He moved away from her.

“You don’t know anything about my dad,” He told her seriously, “You have no right to say anything about him. You can go.” She paused in her seat, trying to think about why he would defend someone like Neil. She thought that she would hate Neil if he was her dad. The upcoming weekend Neil had taken Billy deep sea fishing. They had been gone all day and came back all smiles. Kim understood suddenly, noticing the trend. Neil would beat Billy senseless, but he always tried to make it up somehow. It made Kim sick, made her wonder how he had managed to go so long without getting caught. Neil would be a good actor, she finally realized. 

She had started journaling a few years ago, way before her daddy had left. Once her handwriting was better she used to write down the stories that she would make up for Max. She really didn’t have many ideas now, but she just liked the feeling of writing, of creating her own words. If she was feeling courageous, she’d write a poem or two in it. 

Mainly, she wrote about Neil. She wrote about how frustrating he was, how bad she felt for Billy and how she wished her dad was still around. She wrote about how much she missed the life that they used to have and how she wondered how Billy had managed to survive in a place like this. 

Neil had found it and he had screamed and screamed until he was purple in the face. She didn’t understand. It hadn’t been her fault that he had snooped through her things. She had tried to ask her mom for help but she had only sat there silently. Kim had been so afraid that he was going to hit her, she kept wincing away, but it never came. He had only sent her back to her room, where she had pouted the remainder of the night. 

“Don’t let him upset you,” Billy had told her that morning. Her eyes were still puffy, “He’s just miserable. He needs everyone else to feel the same way.” His fingers had pressed together before he had passed her the sugar, like he knew what she put into her cereal bowl. She had nodded her head stiffly, wishing she could let it go that easily. 

/////////

“Hey,” Kim jolted, her chest pressing against the lunch table from how hard she had been pushed, “What the fuck?” She looked up at Cindy’s angry face, not quite understanding what she was upset about. Kim wasn’t sure if Cindy was really her friend, or merely an acquaintance. They were both in the same groups of friends but everyone seemed to find the need to please her. Kim could tell that she wasn’t crazy about her. Cindy was always teasing her about her clothes, the way she looked and the things that she did. 

“Yes?” Kim looked at her confused, rubbing her shoulder where she had been pushed. Cindy gave her an irritated look. Kim stared back, like she was supposed to know what she was thinking. 

“You didn’t tell me Billy was your brother,” She was all smiles now as she sat in front of Kim. Kim furrowed her eyebrows together, not understanding the reason behind it, “He’s cute.” Cindy added after a second. Kim was suddenly irritated, not liking that Cindy was talking about him at all. She shook that feeling aside. 

“I hear that a lot,” Kim mumbled, thinking of all the girls that had suddenly grown interested in being her friend, “He’s not really my brother.” Kim admitted, unsure of how to describe Billy. 

“Can you set me up with him?” Kim hesitated and it had nothing to do with the way Cindy looked. Cindy was pretty. She had a nice tan, stunning green eyes and pin straight blonde hair. She spent most of her free time surfing and playing volleyball.

“With Billy?” Kim asked, feeling a little uncertain. She really didn’t like the idea of setting the two of them up, but she didn’t understand why. She knew how Cindy was, she went through boys the same way that Billy went through girls. She was pretty enough for it. 

“That’s what I just said.” Cindy exhaled deeply with an eye roll, “Can you do it or not?” She snapped back. Kim opened her mouth before she shut it. Cindy was waiting with an expectant look, Kim quickly nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. She didn’t want to be on the other end of Cindy’s anger if she said no. It was easier to just say yes.

“I could ask him,” She mumbled out finally, still not liking the idea, “I’m sure he’d say yes.” She admitted after a second, unsure of the way that Cindy was smiling towards her. She felt like she should be happy, but she wasn’t. She didn’t understand why either. It was confusing. 

Kim was running late again. She had a problem of returning her books at the last second and then chatting with the librarians for too long. It wasn’t really her fault. She just liked that someone was actually interested in what she had to say. 

“You’re late.” Billy said simply when she had bombarded her way into the car. She smiled sheepishly at him, pushing her hair out of her face as she sat her bag down in front of her. 

“Sorry, I had to-“ She started to explain, feeling a grin on her face as she thought about retelling the librarian's story about her cat. He turned towards her with a bored expression on his features. 

“I don’t care. You’re late again and your ass can walk.” She stared at him for a long time as the car filled into an awkward tension. She nodded her head, understanding that it wasn’t fair to keep him waiting for her. She decided she’d switch her schedule then. She could go into the library first thing in the morning. She could manage tugging around the heavy books. She was sure it would be fine. 

“I’m sorry.” The lump in her throat bobbed as she tried to swallow it. She hated how any slight change of tone left her emotional. His features softened for a moment, changing completely to how he had looked a few seconds ago. 

“I didn’t mean that,” He finally sighed, digging around in his car until he pulled out a cigarette, “I don’t know why I said it like that.” She was surprised. It sounded like he was almost apologizing. She nodded her head quickly.

“It’s okay,” She told him earnestly, “I shouldn’t have been late. Thank you for driving me. I really appreciate it. You don’t have to do it.” He observed her for a moment as he lit his cigarette up. She wrinkled her nose, still not used to the smell of it. 

“Whose that?” He changed the subject completely. Kim looked over, noticing the familiar blonde walking in front of his car. She tried not to frown as she fixed her hair again. She brushed it off casually, forgetting what she had told Cindy completely. 

“Cindy.” Kim felt bitter and she didn’t know why. She figured it was because she'd never be like Cindy. She’d never have boys chasing after her. She really, really didn’t want Billy to be one of those boys. 

“She’s hot.” He traced his tongue along the curve of his lips. She felt her frown deepening. She exhaled slowly. 

“She’s my friend.” Kim said at last, as if that was some sort of excuse. She didn’t know how to explain the way she was feeling. She didn’t feel like Billy would care anyways.

“And? She’s a babe.” He blew out the smoke as he spoke. She felt a deep feeling coursing through her veins.

“She probably won’t be interested,” Kim liked, knowing full well that she was, “I wouldn’t risk it.” She tried to warn him. Billy turned towards her, grinning, as if it was some sort of game now. 

It didn’t take long for Kim to figure out that something was going on. Cindy was a lot nicer, spent more time around her. It only left Kim fuming. She wanted her own friends, people that liked her for her. 

“You’re coming to my birthday party, right?” Cindy had asked her as she twirled a piece of Kim’s hair around her fingers. Kim stared at her.

“You’re having a birthday party?” This was the first time she had heard of it. Kim watched her for a moment, wondering if this was some kind of joke. Cindy smiled like she was silly.

“It’s on Saturday. You don’t have to bring anything,” She paused for a moment, “Is Billy dropping you off?” Kim felt her shoulders sag, realizing that this had been the whole point. Kim forced a smile, trying to make sure that it didn’t get her mood down. 

“Yeah,” She breathed out, “He’ll be dropping me off.” She thought for a long time, figuring out the best way to get there without Billy coming. She didn’t want to be forced aside while Billy got to flirt with her. She didn’t like that idea, not one bit. 

“When did you start sleeping with Cindy?” She was mad and she didn’t understand why she was mad. Billy looked up at her confused. He was resting on his bed, smoking something that smelt different than tobacco. 

“Does it matter?” He asked her dryly. She felt her hands forming into fists, because of course it mattered. He shouldn’t be messing around with her friends. She exhaled deeply. 

“She’s my friend.” She said at last. He was looking at her amused, his nose scrunching up as he watched her. It was like he liked to bother her. 

“So?” She sighed exasperated at his question. She knew that it was no different if she got with any of his friends. They shouldn’t mess around with friends, it was that simple. So she hoped. 

“You’re not supposed to go after my friends,” She told him quickly, “Isn’t that like the unspoken rule?” She asked, trying to think of what the dating code really was. She hadn’t ever had to worry about it before. 

“You’re not my sister,” Billy had a lazy smile forming on his lips, “Sounds like you’re jealous.” He drew out slowly. His accusation traveled straight through her. 

“I’m not,” She was stammering, her face burning as she stared at him. His shirt was slowly beginning to pull up over his abdomen as he rested his hands behind his head, “I’m not jealous. There is no reason for me to be jealous.” 

“Hm,” Billy watched her, the smirk still placed against his lips, “If you say so. I’m not going to stop seeing her, just because you’re jealous.” She clenched her fists tightly to her sides, groaning loudly.

“You’re the worst.” She stomped out of his room, leaving the door wide open behind her so that he would be forced to get up and shut it. She didn’t understand why Cindy or any of her friends wanted to get with him in the first place. He was cold, he was rude. 

“Mom,” Saturday night came quicker than she had planned and she still didn’t have a clue of how she’d get to Cindy’s birthday party, “I need you to drop me off at my friends.” Susan glanced up at her, before she looked back at Neil who was tinkering with a new table they had bought. She smiled sheepishly.

“You’ll have to ask Billy.” Susan said simply. Kim stared at her exasperated, feeling her frustration grow. She didn’t want Billy to drive her. She wanted to go on her own, without him. She knew if he showed up, that everyone would flock to him. 

“Can’t you take me?” She tried again, doing her best not to whine. Susan shook her head, looking at her sternly.

“I can’t leave,” She told Kim seriously as she looked back at Neil, “I’m sure Billy would love to take you though.” Susan smiled sweetly at Kim, fluttering her eyelashes. Kim stared back in annoyance, not pleased with the answer at all. She turned around on her heels, taking a hold of his door knob and pushing it open roughly.

“Jesus!” He proclaimed, turning on his side quickly and shoving whatever magazine he had been looking at next to him. He had the blankets pulled up over his waist, but tugged them up even higher to hide his bare skin. He kicked his knees up into the air, looking towards her frustrated, “What do you want? Haven’t you heard of knocking?” She stared, feeling like she had walked in on a bad time but not understanding what. She wasn’t used to knocking, she was used to having Max barge in whenever she pleased.

“I need you to take me to Cindy’s party,” She breathed out slowly, “Please.” She smiled as sweet as she could manage, fluttering her eyelashes towards him. She was usually a lot nicer towards him, but she was still irritated that he had slept with her friend. It made her so mad and she didn’t understand why she was mad. It wasn’t like she really cared if Cindy got hurt or not, she knew what she was getting into. It was a deeper feeling, something she couldn’t place her finger on. 

“Are you serious?”

“Billy, please,” She whined, pouting her lips out as she held her hands together, “I’ll do anything.” He stared at her for a long time and she noticed that his pinks were actually pink. He was still in the awkward position. 

“I need you to leave my room first,” He told her seriously, “And then I’ll take you to that stupid party.” He grumbled as he stared up at his ceiling, waiting for her to leave. She beamed, even though she was still worried he’d try to join her.

“Thank you!” She could’ve hugged him, but decided against it. He didn’t look like he was in the mood and she really didn’t want to push his buttons anymore. She moved out of the room, pausing for a moment as she nearly forgot to shut the door behind her. 

“I’m just dropping you off,” He told her coldly when he finally appeared again. It had taken longer than usual and she was beginning to believe that he had forgotten about her, “I have better things to do.” He grumbled. She tried not to frown, knowing that he would rather do anything than spend any type of time with her. Neil suddenly turned towards them. 

“You can stay until the party's over,” Neil snapped, “She’s your sister. You need to watch her.” Kim suddenly felt bad for Billy. She didn’t think it was fair that he had to join her. She was more than capable of taking care of herself. She knew that arguing with Neil would just be futile. She sent Billy a small smile.

“Yes sir,” Billy pulled the door open for Kim, breathing in deeply as he followed her down the steps. She paused, wishing she had something to say to him, “Keep going.” He nudged her forward, sounding irritated. 

“You really don’t have to stay,” She reassured him on the car ride there, “I won’t tell. Just be back to pick me up.” She really didn’t want him to stay. She didn’t like when other girls stared at him and acted dumb around him. She didn’t want anyone to look at him like that. 

“S’alright,” He said at last, smoking as he drove. She wondered how he was able to smoke so much without getting sick off of the smell. She watched the way his blue eyes seemed to shine brighter than any stars that were placed in the sky, “Is there going to be alcohol?” Kim paused, trying to recall Cindy’s words.

“I think so,” She mumbled, unsure if it was safe for Billy to drink and drive, “It’s right up here.” She pointed towards the large houses. Cindy was rich, she never had a problem showing that off. Kim never really minded, but felt in awe as she stared at the large house as it came into view. Billy whistled under his breath.

“I didn’t need to dress a certain way, did I?” She looked at the way his eyes widened as he parked in front of her very large house. Kim tried not to laugh, wondering how else he’d dress up. He was already in a nice pair of jeans and a blue button up. She glanced down at her own dress, looking at the same shade of blue flowers that decorated it. 

“I’m sure she doesn’t care what you wear,” Kim said at last, knowing that Billy could probably wear a flour bag and still have girls going crazy over him, “Do you think there’s a lot of people?” She was growing nervous now. She had never been to a birthday party before, she didn’t know what the etiquette was. 

“Looks like it,” He was out of the car before she was. She stood quickly, straightening out her dress and then following him closely behind. She was worried she wouldn’t know that many people, that she would be too awkward if she tried to talk to them, “Did you bring her a present?” He asked suddenly, looking at her empty hands. She looked towards him bashfully. 

“She said not to bring anything,” Kim mumbled, thinking of Cindy’s instructions as they walked up the long driveway, “I drew her a picture on her birthday.” She said offhandedly. Billy rang the doorbell, looking towards her curiously.

“You draw?” She felt silly as she nodded her head yes. She spent a lot of time drawing or reading when her dad would drop her and Max off at places while he gambled. Sometimes he would stay, most of the times he left them alone.

“Hey,” Cindy opened up the door, smiling brightly. She looked towards Billy, barely acknowledging that Kim was there, “You came?” She looked at him surprised. Kim glanced at him, not remembering him stating that he had been invited.

“Plans changed,” He shrugged his shoulders, looking at Kim but then quickly glancing away, “Happy Birthday.” He mumbled, looking less than enthused by his words. Kim was suddenly stumped. He had been so obsessed with Cindy a few days ago and now he was acting as if there was nothing between them.

Cindy apparently took no notice as she catapulted into his arms, holding him closely. Billy’s eyes were wide and he kept his hands towards his sides, looking awkward and tense. His eyes met Kim’s and she gave him her best smile and a thumbs up, unsure of what she was supposed to say. She didn’t want Cindy to yell at her. 

“Come on in,” Cindy said at last and Kim didn’t miss how she was more so speaking to Billy, rather than to her. Billy waited for Kim to walk in first and she knew that he didn’t miss it either. She looked around the big living room, taking in the expensive furniture. She had stacks and stacks of gifts, more balloons than Kim had ever seen. Kim was sure that her old apartment was small than Cindy’s living room.

“You came,” Whitney stepped forward, wrapping Kim up in her small arm. Kim always liked Whitney, she always seemed to be listening to her when no one else would. She had warm brown eyes and big hair, “It’s good to see you.” Kim nodded, feeling glad that someone had approached her. Billy was still standing next to her, hovering from behind. She didn’t mind. 

“Yeah,” Kim tucked her hair behind her ears, “Billy drove me.” She motioned back towards him, not wanting him to be left out of the conversation. He shrugged his shoulders again. Kim was fairly sure that he had some secret language within his movements. She wished that she knew them. 

“Cool,” Whitney smiled from ear to ear, “We’re going to head downstairs and play spin the bottle.” Kim could feel her cheeks warming at the idea. She refused to look at Billy this time, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

“Cool,” Kim breathed out softly, “I’ll meet you down there? I wanted to tell Cindy happy birthday.” Whitney watched her for a moment before she nodded her head. She gave a quick goodbye before she was leaving.

“Why do you hang out with her?” Billy asked, following her as she looked for Cindy again. She played with her fingers, pretending like she didn’t know what he meant. 

“She’s my friend,” Kim said instead, stopping her movements for a moment, “I can meet you down there. You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” She told him softly, figuring he was still mad he had to be here instead of whatever he was going to do. He hesitated for a moment, looking at her with those blue eyes she didn’t understand.

“Sure,” He spoke at last, “I’ll see you in a few.” Kim nodded her head, finally spotting Cindy and walking over towards her. She glanced over her shoulder, still noticing Billy in her line of sight. She didn’t want him talking to Cindy, she didn’t understand why, but she didn’t like when he paid other people attention. 

“Hi,” She smiled as she approached Cindy, hoping to clear things over between them, “Thanks for having me. Are you ready to go down?” Kim asked, sounding hopeful. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to make such a good impression towards Cindy. It was like she needed to get on her good side in order to have everyone else as a friend. Kim started to move forward. 

“You better wait here.” Cindy pressed her fingers into her collarbone hard. Kim stared at her for a moment, her smile fading. She watched as people pushed past her. 

“What?” She asked, tilting her head in confusion. She didn’t understand. She wanted to play just like everyone else. She was shy, but she still wanted to be involved with everyone else. Cindy was looking at her in amusement. 

“You can’t both play,” Cindy laughed, glancing over her shoulder as everyone else headed down towards her basement. Billy was already out of her eyesight, “What if you spin the bottle and it lands on him?” She asked, shaking her head as if Kim was dumb,

“I can still play.” Kim said softly, feeling like the solution was fairly simple. Her and Billy would just skip over each other if it happened. She felt with as many people that were here, it would be a small chance. Cindy had one eyebrow raised and her lips curled up in disgust.

“Why” Do you want to kiss your brother?” Cindy questioned her, her eyes looking Kim up and down,“Only freaks would do that.” She spoke in disdain. Kim suddenly felt insecure, knowing that’s not what she meant at all. 

“No,” Kim’s face felt warm, “I don’t want that. But I can still play. If it lands on him I just skip it.” She shrugged her shoulders, trying to keep the tension from rising between them. Cindy tilted her head, moving closer to Kim. She felt her heart race in her chest, suddenly feeling very intimidated. Cindy was taller than her, she played volleyball and other sports. If she hit her, she’d be stuck on the ground for a while. 

“Awe,” Cindy tugged on her red hair softly, “You’re too stupid to get the hint. I don’t want you to play. I wanted Billy here, and now that he’s here, I don’t need you here anymore. So why don’t you just wait up here until the rest of us are done playing, alright?” Kim felt the knife twisting in her chest. Her eyes widening as the tears rushed forward. She nodded her head quickly, realizing how everything else had suddenly made sense. She felt humiliated, her whole body warming as she understood that she would always be the one that nobody wanted. 

“I thought,” Kim inhaled sharply, trying to keep herself from crying, “I thought we were friends.” She finally spit out, not liking the hurt that was coursing through her body. It stung in a completely different way to when her father had left. She felt betrayed. Friends weren’t supposed to be like this. They weren’t supposed to be mean. 

“Friends with you? I just needed you to get to Billy. So thank you for that,” Cindy mocked her, patting her cheek softly before squeezing it hard, “You should get comfortable. I have a feeling he’ll be busy for a while.” Cindy smiled brightly, placing the same kind smile on her lips. Kim felt pathetic as she left her standing there, staring after her. 

She curled up on the couch, watching whatever was playing and not really paying attention. She kept wiping her tears, trying to act nonchalant as more couples came up and found different rooms. She felt pathetic, being the only one without anyone else. She should’ve stayed at home.

She finally left from her spot after a couple decided that they were going to pick the couch to make out on. They kept bumping into Kim’s shoulder and she finally decided that she had had enough. She made her way to the kitchen, staring at the pretty cake that Cindy had gotten for her birthday. It was untouched. 

Kim dug around in the large kitchen, finding the largest knife she could before she began to cut it into pieces. She stared at the blue icing that was on the knife, before she licked it off. 

“That’s a bit dangerous, don’t you think?” Her body stilled and her eyes went wide. Her tongue was still stuck to the knife as she froze, slowly turning to look at the man that was leaning against the doorway, watching her with a smile on his face. He was tall, had strong muscles and sandy brown hair.

“Hi,” She responded meekly, finally pulling the knife away from her mouth, “I was just- I thought I’d cut the cake.” She told him, unsure of how she was supposed to answer. She stiffened, watching as he walked into the kitchen. She was sure he was going to toss her out.

“Don’t you think we should wait until they sing happy birthday?” He pulled two plates from the cabinet before he walked over and grabbed some silverware. She paused for another second.

“Not for her,” She said at last, “She’s mean.” She admitted, thinking that Cindy didn’t deserve to have a birthday wish. He laughed, walking towards her and handing her a plate.

“That’s my sister,” Kim felt her eyes grow three sizes. Her tongue felt dry and she was sure that Cindy was certainly going to kill her now, “And she’s not mean. She’s a bitch.” Kim let out a nervous laugh, watching as he put a giant stack of cake on her plate. She stared at him for a long time, in disbelief over how he could be so casual.

“You’re not going to tell her?” She asked him, feeling unsure and a bit worried. She didn’t want to get in trouble. She just felt like if she wasn’t allowed to play the games, she could at least enjoy the cake. He grinned at her. 

“Fuck no,” He pulled a chair out and sat down. He pushed one out towards her, “Why don’t you join me?” He asked her. She sat down hesitantly, unsure if she should even be talking to him.

“What’s your name?” She asked, not even remembering that Cindy had a brother. She guessed that she shouldn’t be that surprised, Cindy probably lied about everything. Cindy didn’t really want Kim to know anything about her.

“Todd,” He grinned, watching as she ate the cake. She was surprised that it was almost too sweet, but she ate it anyway. She smiled at him, kicking her feet softly as the stool moved from under her, “Yours?”

“Kim,” She said softly, uncertain if she should tell him or not. She figured that he wouldn’t tell Cindy, but she really wasn’t sure if she should trust him. She did anyway. There was no one else for her to talk to. He seemed to be the only one that was interested in her, “This is a really nice place.” She mentioned the house, looking around at the tall walls. It was like a mansion, not that she really knew what one looked like. He laughed, ignoring her comment. 

“How old are you?” He asked suddenly, smiling at her with big green eyes. Kim noticed they were the same eyes Cindy had. It made her feel weird, like she wasn’t fully able to appreciate them. Everytime she looked at him, all she could think of was Cindy. They looked that similar, like they could be twins.

“I just turned sixteen,” She told him shyly, taking another bite of the cake, “What about you?” She had a small party for her birthday, she now understood why Cindy hadn’t shown up. She wasn’t interested in Kim at all. She felt dumb for not realizing that sooner. 

“You’re so young, sixteen is a good age,” He smiled at her, his eyes tracing up her pale skin, “I’m twenty five. I’m only back for the holidays. Finishing up my degree, I want to be a doctor.” She turned towards him, surprised. She hadn’t really ever talked to a boy this much older before. She had heard girls talking about having older boyfriends before. 

“Wow,” She giggled, “That’s cool.” She told him earnestly. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to do something in the medical field. She really didn’t like blood that much, the smell made her feel sick at times and she didn’t like how red it was. He brushed his knee against hers, smiling widely as he pushed his hair from his face. 

“Do you drink?” She shook her head no, suddenly thinking of her father. She didn’t have any interest in drinking anything at the moment. She took another bite of her cake, enjoying how soft it felt on her tongue. 

“No, I don’t like the taste,” She lied, barely remembering the only time she had tried it, “It’s strong.” He watched her amused, like he could see right through her. Or, he just liked how innocent she was. She wasn’t sure, but the way he smiled at her made her think that he was at least interested. Even if he was nearly ten years older than her. 

“I can make you a mocktail. You know, you’re pretty mature for someone your age. You’re not like my sister.” He told her softly, brushing his fingers along her hand. Goosebumps raced up her skin as she stared towards him, feeling a dopey smile form on her face. 

“Oh?” She was blushing suddenly, unsure if it was really a compliment or not. She watched as he pulled out some juice from the fridge. Their house was twice as big as Neil’s. She wasn’t sure how they afforded it, but assumed they must’ve had plenty of money if he was going to be a doctor.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing,” He promised her as he rose from his seat. She stayed still, watching him move as she finished her cake. She was tempted to take a second piece but decided against it. Susan had always told her and Max that they didn’t want to eat too much in front of men, so that they wouldn’t seem like they were pigs, “Did you come alone?”

“No,” She crossed her legs as she faced him better in her seat, “My step brother is here. I doubt that he remembers me.” She admitted, feeling a bit bitter. She was sure Cindy was living out her fantasy now, getting as much of Billy as she wanted. 

“I can always give you a ride home,” Todd offered, his back facing her as he worked on making their drinks, “I don’t mind.” She felt giddy again, not used to someone being so interested in her. She thought that Billy would like that. He wouldn’t feel so bothered with her then. 

“Sure,” She breathed out softly, “I mean, if he doesn’t come back up here I’d like that.” He walked towards her, holding two cups in his hands. She looked at the liquid, feeling the way her heart was racing in her chest. 

“You’d like what?” Billy walked in suddenly, taking the both of them by surprise. He eyed Todd for the longest time before he walked towards Kim, “I’ve been looking for you.” He told her, looking at the small distance between her and Todd.

“I’ve been up here,” She told him, glancing at Todd. She didn’t want to tell Billy the full truth. She didn’t want to look so pathetic in front of Todd, “He just made me a mocktail.” She spoke happily, excited that someone would think so much of her. Billy furrowed his eyebrows together, then turned to stare at Todd with his intense eyes. 

“Can I have one?” Billy questioned at last, reaching his hand forward. Todd laughed, pulling it back towards his chest. Kim watched curiously.

“Sorry, it’s non alcoholic. Just for the beautiful girl.” Todd winked towards Kim, sending a flush throughout her body. She tried to keep her giggle at bay, feeling overly joyous at someone complimenting her in that manner. 

“That’s fine. I’ll drink that one and you can make her another one.” Billy reassured him, holding his hand out expectantly. Kim was confused, not understanding why he was being so intense about it. She turned back towards Todd.

“That’s fine, I don’t mind to wait again.” She told him gently. Todd gulped hard, keeping both of the glasses in his hands for the longest time. He stared ahead at Billy, taking a few steps back. 

“Maybe we can try some other time,” He was dumping the glasses down the sink without another fight, “You better get going.” Todd nodded towards her, looking like he was no longer interested in her. She felt her shoulders sag.

“Let’s go,” Billy touched Kim’s elbow, giving her a look of urgency. She didn’t understand as she watched him. She looked at the smeared lipstick on his lips, “Come on. Before dad gets mad that we’re gone.” She suddenly understood, standing up quickly and following him out of the large house. His fingers stayed against her skin until they made it into the car.

“Why didn’t you come downstairs?” He asked finally, when he was done simmering in his seat. She looked at him confused, figuring he wouldn’t have even noticed that she was missing.

“Cindy said I couldn’t play,” She said softly, growing humiliated as she spoke, “She wanted to go out with you and said she didn’t need me anymore.” Billy paused, putting his lighter away as he looked at her.

“Are you serious?” She nodded her head unsure, not expecting him to have gotten so offended over it, “Don’t let her treat you like that. You’re so much better.” Kim shrugged her shoulders, letting the self pity hold onto her. 

“I’m not that interesting.” 

“You’re interesting to me,” He quickly distracted himself as he finally lit up his cigarette, “You shouldn’t let people get you down like that.” She thought it was odd that Billy of all people was saying nice things about her. She felt a little bit better, thinking that he had no reason to lie to her. 

“She was supposed to be my friend.” Kim mumbled underneath her breath, still feeling a bit hurt. Billy turned towards her. 

“If it gives you any gratification,” Billy started talking again as he drove. He kept the windows down, letting the cool air fill the car, “She was a bad kisser and a lousy fuck.” Kim felt a smile cracking on her lips. 

“I’m so terribly sorry that you had to endure that,” Kim teased him softly, “It must’ve been so terrible for you.” She watched for a moment, liking when he smiled. She wished that he would smile more often. 

“You shouldn’t talk to that guy either,” Billy said softly as he turned to look at her, “He gives me the heebie jeebies.” Kim stared for a long time before she couldn’t help it anymore. She covered her mouth, trying to keep the giggles at bay as she laughed at the words that had just left his mouth. Billy, who was in trouble every other day at school for causing another fight, said heebie jeebies. 

“It’s nothing bad,” She reassured quickly, forgetting that he didn’t like to be touched and placing her hands on his bicep. He was still looking irritated as he drove, “I just didn’t expect you to say that. It’s cute, I’m sorry.” She promised, still grinning as she held onto his arm. He turned towards her.

“It’s just a word.” He shrugged his shoulders again and she found herself smiling to herself. Billy was such a mystery to her, she wanted to know more about him but didn’t have the courage to tell him so. 

When Monday rolled around, she was taking the walk of shame towards her familiar lunch table. Her heart was thumping hard when she heard Cindy’s laugh and she hoped she wouldn’t say anything else about the party. 

“Hey,” Billy gripped the back of her elbow softly, holding his lunch tray in his other hand, “Why don’t you come sit with me and some of my friends today?” She paused, staring at him unsure.

“I don’t want to be a burden.” She mumbled, glancing back towards the table. She could see that they had gained the interest of Cindy. Billy smiled warmly.

“You’re never a burden,” He was still touching her elbow as he guided her the other way, “Show them what they’re missing.” He nudged her forward as she felt her heart flip inside of her chest. 

1985

Kim stared at herself in the mirror. It was different from the way she first did when she wore this dress. She didn’t feel as insecure, she didn’t feel as embarrassed. She felt nothing. She was numb. 

It was like Billy was a memory. He was gone before she awoke and arrived back home when she was trying to pretend she was sleeping. She couldn’t bring herself to drag herself to his room. She was afraid that he would be irritated, that he would no longer want her at all. The past three days had been torture. She tried to busy herself by working, by hanging out with Addi and baking more desserts than what they needed. Nothing worked. She feared she was going to end up losing her mind. 

Her mom had questioned her about her behavior but Kim had only shook her head, denying her any chance to question what had happened. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to speak about Billy and put another bad taste in her mouth. Max had been pestering her too, but she had remained as quiet as ever. 

Karen had come into the diner yesterday morning and Kim had taken careful precautions in listening to what she wanted. She made sure she stuck her fingers into each item on her plate, just in case she avoided eating something. She was tempted to spit in it, but against her better judgment she decided against it.

She missed Billy. She missed him in a way she didn’t understand. She knew she would be happy if he was just in the same room, if he was just near her. That’s all she wanted. She just wanted to feel like she had some part of him. 

She didn’t get the chance to ask him to bring her to Tommy’s, but she was going regardless. She knew he’d be there, so she had to be there. She’d do anything to just breathe the same air as him. She craved him that much, needed to be around him that badly. 

She had thought of Max’s words from the other day and decided she was going to go all out. She pretended like nothing was wrong. She did her makeup, fixed her hair, and smiled so brightly that she no longer recognized herself. She wore the same pink dress and even put the lingerie underneath it. It was wishful thinking, she knew that. She did it anyway. She didn’t care if it made her look desperate. He made her happy, she deserved to be happy. 

She stacked her pillows up under her blankets in a way to make it look like she was laying there. She pressed her window open and struggled for a moment before she was sliding out of her window. The warm air greeted her nicely as she made her way towards Eddie’s van. Tommy never said it just had to be her that showed up. 

She passed by Billy’s room, wondering if she’d be able to sneak back in with him tonight. She hoped that things would change, that somehow, they would be different after this. She felt that they were too attached for anything to end. She knew she promised to give him time to think, but she was hurting. She wanted to forget. 

She figured that if he was able to drink her away, she could do the same thing. She could forget everything that happened and she could have fun. She was determined to feel anything other than the numb sensation that was traveling through her chest. She wanted to feel like her heart was alive again.

Addi had the window rolled down when she appeared, her dark eyes widened as she looked at her, “Damn. You look good.” She whistled for effect, a grin forming on her lips. Kim felt a blush spreading over her face.

“Shut up,” She still smiled as she got into the backseat. She took a few deep breaths, trying to fill her lungs with fresh air, “I’m ready.” 

[tumsa]

the rust from all your rain

i wrote this originally in dms for @snailsweater, who asked for some hurt/comfort vegaskim (kimvegas? have we decided?), more specifically, vegas showing up to their fight session with bruises from his father. gonna tag  @misspoetree @hedgewyse because you liked the other posts and @saturnskyline because you’re to blame for all of this. here’s some hurt and not a lot of comfort.

(part 1, part 2)

Two years into their arrangement, they rent an old building that used to be a training gym. There are only so many empty apartments in Bangkok that they can trash without getting attention, and having a dedicated place makes it easier to organize. The old gym has a big room for their fights, some smaller half-empty offices, four shower stalls that have seen better days but serve low-pressure cold water, and a small room stuffed with matrasses, weights and other bits and pieces that were left behind.

Vegas is late. These days Kim knows that Vegas is always on time unless he crosses paths with Kan, so he waits and considers his options. He could repeat the time Vegas almost shot him for being late, or the time when he offered Vegas to kiss his bruises better, or the one where Vegas almost threw him through the window the next time after Kim cancelled at the last minute. But he's not really angry at Vegas. No, Kim is annoyed with himself for wanting some company tonight. Pathetic.

Almost two hours later, hours that Kim had spent not checking the time on his phone and instead cleaning up the room they now use when one or both of them needed some patching up, Vegas shows up.

"Vegas?" Kim asks, not because he thinks it's someone else walking through the door but because Vegas would most likely kill him if Kim didn't announce his presence somehow.

Vegas practically falls through the door. In the lowly lit entrance part of the gym, all Kim sees are blood stains all over Vegas's shirt as Vegas collapses on the ground and slowly rolls himself over, staring at the ceiling with glassy eyes.

"Hello," Vegas slurs, grinning, and his teeth are stained red, "sweetheart."

Kim crouches down, slightly panicked that Vegas might be dying, is losing consciousness from blood loss, and the strong scent of alcohol punches him in the face as hard as Vegas tends to.

"What happened to you?" Kim asks and immediately regrets it. They don't do that. Kim is not supposed to ask Vegas about his life. He expects to be kicked or slapped, or pushed against a wall.

Vegas just blinks. Kim realizes he is too drunk to tell Kim to shut the fuck up and mind his business. There is still also the blood that is or isn't coming from a possibly deadly wound. Upon closer inspection, it doesn't look like Vegas is actively bleeding to death, but it's hard to tell where all the blood on his shirt is coming from.

"Was my fault a deal fell through," Vegas finally answers as if it took him over a minute to figure out both the question and the answer, his words are slurred and slow. Kim crawls closer to him and starts unbuttoning Vegas's shirt to see if he needs to be taken to the hospital. He's two buttons in when he realizes what Vegas has said. Something ugly and dark crawls its way into Kim's stomach and settles there.

"Vegas," he asks, but it sounds more like a whisper, as if Kim knows this, this is a secret he is not supposed to know. "Did your father-"

Vegas laughs, then winces in pain, and Kim resumes unbuttoning his shirt. There are purple and red bruises everywhere; it's not that unusual for either of them, Kim's gone home with similar patterns before, but most of them are too fresh to be from their fights. The bruises are mixed with long, dark stripes from what Kim guesses was a belt used all over the ribs and stomach. Some of the belt marks are bleeding at the edges where the belt hit multiple times and broke the skin. Kim swallows and takes a breath.

Korn is a horrible father, objectively. Kim doesn't believe he loves any of his children; he pretends to, tries to, but a sociopath like their father cares about one thing only, power tripping all over their lives, controlling them in the worst ways, keeping his kids on their toes and destroying their dreams whenever they get too close to victory. But Korn has never done this. Kim cannot imagine a world where that could happen to him. He knows he is staring and has been for too long, but now when Kim sees what Vegas is dealing with, he cannot look away. There's a pressure building behind his eyes, and Kim blinks, and takes a breath that feels stuck in his throat.

Vegas mumbles something about pain and hurt, pulling Kim out of his mind.

"Wait here," he says, even though he knows Vegas is too drunk even to sit up. He gets up and finds the first aid kit and a towel that he wets in a half-broken sink that leeks some water on Kim's shoes.

Vegas is still awake when Kim gets back; he is no longer smiling like a maniac, now his face looks void of all emotion, and his eyes travel all over the grey ceiling, struggling to focus on anything specific. He whimpers quietly with every other inhale.

"I'll clean up the blood," Kim says, putting the wet towel on Vegas's stomach. Vegas makes a whiney sound.

"Stop, 's cold," he mumbles, trying to shoo Kim away, but his hands are as uncoordinated as his eyes.

"I know, shhh," Kim says, trying to go for calm, caring. He has no idea how to do it; nobody in Kim's life needs soothing. His hands are trembling as he slowly moves the towel around, as it stains red and picks up the blood from Vegas's bruised skin. Thankfully none of the wounds looks deep or dangerous, there’s just a lot of them. He drops the bloody towel and finds the wound-cleaning solution and some cotton pads.

"Vegas, hey," he tries to get Vegas's attention, knowing that Vegas will not like the sting from whatever is in the bottle. "I'm sorry," he apologizes and almost laughs because he has punched and kicked Vegas, nearly broken his ribs, and actually broken his thumb once. This is nothing, but somehow it feels worse. "It's gonna hurt."

"It's okay, mom," Vegas murmurs as Kim gently presses the cotton on the first wound, "it always hurts."

Kim's vision blurs as he cleans the tiny cut.

~*~*~

The title is from a song called “Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek” from Blue October, that I was listening to when I wrote the first VegasKim bits. I fell in love with these lyrics:

Now, crawling, I position myself below your broken wings, I lift your feathered left arm where you hide your heart from me. I never noticed it was swollen with the touch of brutal pain, I never knew a heart could live inside the rust from all your rain.

[bluektw]

MORE TORY/EDWIN/BIG RED HC'S

(now featuring Kyler) (because the trailer and Reddit ruined my hopes for a decent arc for my girl)

- Tory was the last one to acknowledge Kyler as an actual friend, only after she saw his relationship with his dad first hand she made up her mind about him.

- After Kyler joined the group Edwin was slightly favoring him over Tory and Red, and that made those two get closer than they had ever been

- But Edwin stopped doing that when he realized it was happening and they're still a really close trio

- Tory and Red have a weird need to make Edwin feel included in everything they do, cause the in previous trio (Rickenberger, Big Red and Edwin), Ricken and Red were quite closer to each other than with him. When Tory joined and they became quartet things got even, but after Ricken left both feel the need to make him feel included with them.

- Edwin knows he deserves better than Kyler and he doesn't care, but Tory and Red care and threaten to murder Kyler if he wrongs Edwin pretty much every day

- Tory has a button up she got from Red, a T-shirt she got from Kyler and a hoodie she got from Edwin.

- Whenever she shows up wearing one them, the previous owner gets all smug and cocky. The others just accept that. (And maybe the one she wears the most is Red's and Edwin and Kyler are sick of his bs already but that's not the point ok?)

- Little Red has already joined them in some movie/game nights (against his will, dad forced him), ended up liking it, but hid this from everyone at Miyagi Fang (and the four of them) like he was fearing for his life

- Tory was the first person to notice Kenny's kinda crush on Devon. Edwin noticed Devon's kinda crush on Kenny. And now every time the four see them together Edwin or Kyler start singing "Sweet Home Alabama" (I shipp them and I will not be accepting criticism)

- Red plays with Tory's hair a lot. Edwin likes to braid her hair. Kyler is not allowed to touch her hair.

- Red is a master at hockey. Edwin plays the piano really well. Tory is an amazing skater obv. Kyler is surprisingly good in laser tag.

- That being said, Kyler is really shitty at hockey, Tory couldn't play the piano to save her life, Red is a terrible skater (in rollers) and Edwin hates laser tag.

- Red tried, failed and gave up teaching Kyler to play hockey. Edwin gave up teaching music to Tory. Tory succeed (the only one that did) in teaching Red skate in rollers. Kyler gave up trying to make Edwin enjoy laser tag

- They have duos (T/BR and E/K), but they mix them up sometimes (Ex: Tory and Edwin can cook and know their way in the kitchen, Kyler and Red are great gamers, Tory and Kyler have drinks knowledge, Red and Edwin love murder mystery stuff)

- Tory, Red and Edwin prefer Kreese over Silver (Though Red liked Kim a little). Kyler prefers Silver and they argue because of that (especially him and Tory)

- Edwin is the only one of them who has a good relationship with both of his parents (Red and his mom have issues because his brother is the golden child to her, but him and Little Red are mostly good. Kyler and his dad have a slightly toxic relationship. Tory doesn't "have" her father)

- Edwin's mom is, in fact, a maternal figure to Red, while his dad is one to Kyler, none of them are to Tory cause she had Kreese and her mom, but both really like her a lot

- Big Red, Edwin and Kyler LOVE to go the restaurant Tory works now (I like to think is an Italian restaurant) and the rink. She likes depending on the day they come and likes them better if they don't annoy her during her shifts

- One time Kyler forced them to go to a karaoke bar of some sort. four sang Livin' La Vida Loca (by Ricky Martin) together

- Robby doesn't really like hanging out with the three boys cause he feels they still want to kill him (they do), Tory always asks if he wants to hang out with them, even after realizing he usually denied, and he likes she keeps asking even knowing he'll say no. (The others HATE that she keeps asking)

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

SKZ DRABBLE-OT8

All alphas get a little crazy when a rut is on the horizon. Instincts immediately push them toward being territorial, possessive, and more than a little bit protective. Chan, however, has always been a little bit more possessive than most, and especially when it comes to you. Not that you're complaining. Not in the slightest.

A/N: I've been sitting on this stupid drabble, partially written, for weeks. It was never quite what I wanted it to be. After a little bit of rewriting, I think I'm finally happy with it. At least enough to let you all see it. XD

Tags: SKZ, SKZ Drabble, Stray Kids, OT8, SKZ!Pack, Poly!SKZ, SKZ!ABO, ABO, Alpha Beta Omega Dynamics, OT8 x you, OT8 x reader, SKZ x you, SKZ xreader, Fluff, Smut, Bang Chan, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Minho, Lee Felix, Yang Jeongin, Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin

Genre: Fluff, Light Smut

Title: Moonmates

“Hey, hyung, do you want to play a game?” 

Minho rolls his eyes. “Is it called ‘push Minho until he snaps and murders you’?”

Jisung leans toward him across the kitchen table, chin in his hands, and you recognize the face, the puppy dog eyes, the pout pulling at his full bottom lip. 

That’s his ‘make minho do whatever I want’ face. 

It’s Jisung’s special, and it only ever works if the beta’s the one wearing it, because trust you, you’ve tried. 

Dammit, have you tried. 

Minho sighs, and you watch him fold before your very eyes. 

“Fine. What do you want?” 

Jisung smiles so brightly it’s blinding, and you’re laughing now, watching the two of them together-the overly excited beta, the long suffering alpha-drawing Minho’s glare in your direction. 

You hold up your hands. “Hey, I’m not even here. Take your stink eye elsewhere.” 

Minho huffs out an annoyed sigh and finally turns back to Jisung, and you note, with slight amusement, that his glare instantly diminishes when it falls back on the waiting beta. 

“What’s the game, Jisung.” 

It’s not a question, but Jisung doesn’t even waver beneath the alpha’s stare, his grin growing wider and more mischievous by the second. 

The kitchen smells like a laundromat. 

“It’s a game I just made up actually.” 

Minho scoffs, another eye roll. “Figures.” 

Jisung crosses his arms and pouts, but it’s not long that he can keep the smile off his lips, bouncing excitedly in his seat as he reaches out and grabs Minho’s hands between his own, playing with his fingers as he talks. 

“Okay, no, listen. It’ll be fun.” Jisung sneaks you a knowing sidelong glance, and suddenly you’re worried that this ‘game’ of his is going to come at your expense. He flicks his gaze back to Minho, and suddenly the grin is much closer to a smirk. “Hyung’s rut is coming up soon.” 

“It’s literally marked on the calendar.” Minho deadpans, pointing toward the shared calendar that hangs on the kitchen fridge, littered with the pack’s notes and deadlines, where the end of next week is circled in red and marked in bold sloping letters that look an awful like Hyunjin’s- ‘Chan’s rut.’ 

“Yeah, I know, that’s not the point.” Jisung huffs and Minho rolls his eyes, but shuts up, and Jisung seems pacified, because he continues on, words a hurried mess. “Anyway, we all know how hyung gets around that time.” 

You know where this is going, and you don’t like it. 

This game is gonna get messy quickly. 

“Yeah, a possessive asshole.” Minho states matter of factly, and you think by the slight tick of his jaw that he knows where this is going as well. “Get to the point, Jisung.” 

“Anyway-” Jisung overrides him, raising his voice in pitch, glaring down the alpha bravely so he doesn’t interrupt him again. The smirk is back as he glances over at you, sitting silently, observing the conversation. “Hyung gets possessive with everyone, yeah, but it’s the worst with her.” 

You decide to play dumb. “Me? I hadn’t noticed.” 

You had, in fact, noticed. 

Chan’s ruts were intense, to say the least, his head alpha at the forefront, and he was markedly even more possessive if possible with the members of the pack during that time, but that wasn’t uncommon for an alpha dealing with overpowering pheromones. 

What was uncommon, was that Chan’s alpha seemed to focus even more on your own during that time.

 It was as if his wolf, spurred into overprotective mode, saw you-the lone female-as the weakest link, which you both knew was far from true, but you didn’t mess with a wolf crazed by hormones and instinct, so you let him baby you a bit more, claim you a bit more, shadow you a bit more, and after a week or so, things went back to normal. 

Both Jisung and Minho are staring at you now, and you pull yourself back from your thoughts, clearing your throat. 

“What does this stupid game have to do with me?” 

Jisung turns to you now, angling his body to face you head on, hands clasped in a sort of evil mastermind position before him, matching the smirk that pulls at his full bottom lip. 

“The game has everything to do with you, noona. You’re the prize after all.” 

Your wolf snarls at the insinuation but you keep your expression blank as you stare him down, waiting for him to continue. 

“We’re all gonna see how far we can push hyung before he snaps.” Jisung announces proudly, sitting back in his chair, as if he has just explained everything in that one sentence. 

“That sounds-” You quirk a brow and look to Minho, but his expression is as unreadable as usual. “-dangerous.” 

“C’mon.” Jisung whines. “We both know Chan wouldn’t ever actually hurt any of us, and the semester is over and I’m bored. Everyone else already agreed. Don’t be party poopers.” 

“Everyone?” Minho asks skeptically, arching a dark brow at the simpering beta. 

Jisung sits back up, slapping his palms down on the table, and you hide a smile at the way he tries to pretend he didn’t wince at the violent contact. 

“Everyone. Now, c’mon, it’s just all good fun, a way to pass the time.” He turns back to you, eyes wide, but the puppy dog face doesn't work on you nearly as well as it works on Minho. “We can’t play without you, noona. Please?” 

You sigh. “Look, I’m not playing anything. If the rest of you want to risk your lives by getting overly touchy or possessive of me to egg Chan on, then be my guest. The only involvement I’ll give is being passive about the whole thing.” 

Jisung takes it as a win, mouthing a quick yes, before he fist pumps and turns to the silent Minho, and you can see, by the way his lip juts, that he’s got his ‘minho please’ face on once again. 

Minho sighs. “Fine.” 

Jisung crows in triumph and you shoot the other alpha a look that clearly says god, you’re whipped, and the glare Minho returns is nothing short of I’ll kill you in your sleep if you say a single word. 

And you don’t doubt he could, so you merely smirk and leave the kitchen without another word. 

*****

The game starts when you’re all walking to the corner store that Friday night, it’s close to 1 am and the omegas had begged you all to go with them for late night snacks, and the city lights are sparkling in the darkness, the well trodden pavement from your apartment to the little store warm beneath the soles of your sneakers. 

 Chan slides his hand into your own, slowing his pace to walk beside you, and you glance over at him in surprise, lips slightly parted, as you ask, “Why are you holding my hand?” 

Chan shrugs and gives you a side long grin. “I dunno. Why are you asking?” 

You shrug in response and swing your hands together as you walk, glancing up at the crisp stars that are starting to line the inky edges of the sky. 

“I dunno. You just usually hold one of the omegas’ hands or something.” 

Unless you’re in pre-rut, you want to add, but bite back the words that threaten the tip of your tongue. 

“I want to hold your hand.” Chan replies casually, arching a brow at you as you continue to match his pace, step for step. “Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, it just surprised me.” You offer him a hint of a smile and catch Jisung’s eye over his shoulder, the beta giving you a smirk and a look that clearly hints at see, I was right, as his eyes dart down to your hand enclosed firmly within Chan’s. 

Instantly, he’s bounding over to the two of you and sliding in between you, separating your fingers. 

“Hey, can I walk with you guys?” 

You shoot Jisung a glare, but he dutifully ignores you, glancing at Chan’s expression before he slides his hands into your own, linking the three of you, successfully putting himself between you and the other alpha. 

“Yeah-” Chan says, obviously caught off guard by the beta’s sudden appearance, but not appearing put out by it in the slightest as he reaches up to ruffle Jisung’s hair affectionately. “-though you already kind of invited yourself, Jisungie.” 

“I can’t help it.” Jisung complains, shooting you a knowing look, before he pouts up at Chan. “(Y/N) just smells really good right now, wouldn’t you agree, hyung?” 

Chan shoots you an amused, slightly confused look over the beta’s head. “I guess?” 

You roll your eyes and pick up your pace, pulling them with you toward the others, who have grown farther ahead the longer Jisung has made you loiter. 

“Pretty sure that’s just the KBBQ from down the street you’re smelling. C’mon Romeo, stop drooling and let’s go before Changbin gets all the good snacks.” 

Jisung smirks at you and you resist the urge to wipe it off his face. 

*****

 It’s not that Chan’s not affectionate with you on a daily basis-he is-it’s just that the week before his rut, he gets a little more into skinship than usual, and by little more, you mean a lot. 

It’s always just little, innocent touches-sliding his hand along the small of your back as he slips past you in the kitchen, brushing his fingers along the skin of your throat when he straightens your jacket, pressing a quick, little bit longer than necessary, kiss against the crown of your head when he leaves for the studio-but the little touches add up, and you’d never admit it, but Chan’s pre-rut is always hell for your wolf. 

Every stupid little touch has your wolf whimpering for more, begging for the other alpha not to leave, and every whiff of petrichor has you physically clenching up, biting back the whine that wants to escape from between your teeth, the whine that cleary begs-

Please, please, please take me, head alpha. I’ll go willingly. 

So maybe, the game Jisung came up with is a bad idea-a terrible idea even-but in a way, it does give you some sort of twisted relief, because if the other seven are touching you, are all over you even, then that means that Chan isn’t. 

So it’s almost a welcome distraction from watching the clock tick down painfully-counting the last few minutes until Chan gets home-when Hyunjin slides into your space on the couch, instantly plastering his body against your side, arms going around your waist. 

The air is filled with the sharp scent of lemon, and it’s a relief not to have to smell your own headache-inducing floral for the first time in several days. 

Hyunjin noses into you, and you giggle, reaching up to card fingers through his hair as you complain, “Seriously? You too? Chan’s not even home yet.” 

Hyunjin gasps, wounded, and pulls back from you-ever the drama queen. 

“I can’t believe you would say such a thing, noona. I just like being close to you, that’s all.” 

“Mhm.” You hum under your breath skeptically, raising a brow in the omega’s direction, as he offers you a sweet smile. 

“That and-” Hyunjin continues, leaning back into your space again and rubbing his cheek all over you, leaving the tang of lemon and honey behind everywhere he touches, sticking to you like a sweet film, and when he looks at you again, there’s a hint of mischief in his dark, wide eyes. “-Hyung’s gonna be home in three, two, one-” The sound of the front door opening has Hyunjin grinning at you triumphantly as you sigh and shoot him a pointedly stern look. 

Chan appears in the doorway, backpack thrown over his shoulder, and you note the exhaustion in his eyes before he quickly hides it back away and offers the two of you a hint of a tired smile, nostrils flared slightly as he takes in the room. 

Your wolf keens needily at the sight of him.

“Why does it smell so overwhelmingly of Hyunjin in here?” 

“Because he’s overwhelming?” You offer innocently, as Hyunjin gasps dramatically in offense once more and Chan grins. 

It’s almost enough to keep the tired whines of your wolf at bay. 

Almost. 

*****

The morning of Chan’s rut, you wake up on edge. 

Every one of your nerve endings feels raw and bristling, as if waiting for something to push you just over the edge, everything-scents and sounds and packmates-is all just a little too much. 

You feel exhausted, and you can’t even imagine how Chan-the one actually in rut-is handling it. 

You find yourself staring into your cereal bowl more than eating it, as Jisung and Hyunjin argue over something nonconsequential on the other side of the table from you, and Minho pours more coffee into his already empty mug. 

Changbin appears in the doorway to the kitchen, already bundled into his coat, Seungmin at his heels. 

“We’re going out.” The other alpha announces, and when Minho shoots them a quizzical look, Changbin grunts beneath his breath, “Chan gets pissy with me when he’s in rut. And I’d rather just avoid that all together this year.” 

“Smart move.” Minho toasts him with his coffee cup before taking a long, slow sip. 

“Yeah, he really only likes (Y/N) during his rut huh?” Jisung muses with a smug smirk, and you not so subtly flip him off from the other side of the table, a pounding headache already mounting behind your eyes. . 

“That’s cause she’s like his soulmate or something.” Jeongin appears then, the youngest omega bright eyed and bushy tailed, as he reaches into the fridge for some orange juice. 

Everyone stares at him silently, and he shrugs. “What? Minho-hyung explained it to me.” 

“Well duh.” Jisung snorts. “We’re a pack. We’re all each other’s soulmates.” 

“Not true.” Seungmin speaks up, stepping around Changbin to enter the kitchen, as he easily steals one of Hyunjin’s bacon slices off his plate, earning him a glare from the older omega. He chews thoughtfully for a moment. “I mean, I guess in a way it’s true? All pack members are usually soulmates in some form or another, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a certain member of each pack that belongs with another more than the others. And it’s called a moonmate, Innie.” The beta corrects gently, ruffling the youngest omega’s hair fondly.

Minho sighs and sits back in his chair. “God, it’s too early for this.” 

“It’s 9 am.” Changbin points out helplessly, and Minho shoots him a glare. 

“I have a headache.” You add unhelpfully, rubbing at your temples with your fingers. 

“Listen, it’s like this.” Seungmin sits down next to Jisung, who still looks confused, and points at Felix, who has just entered the kitchen, hair still tousled from sleep. “Who does Felix need when he’s in heat?” 

“An alpha.” Jisung replies immediately, looking proud of himself, as Hyunjin rolls his eyes from beside him. 

“Yeah, okay.” Seungmin agrees patiently, as Felix settles himself down behind Hyunjin, chin going into the crook of his neck, arm around his shoulders. “So he needs an alpha, but who does he want?” 

Understanding is dawning in Jisung’s eyes now. “Hyunjin.” 

Seungmin nods. “Exactly. Because Hyunjin is Felix’s moonmate. Just like (Y/N) is hyung’s moonmate.”

You let your head slump to the table, and the cold formica feels heavenly beneath the heated flush of your skin, and you point halfheartedly in Jisung’s direction without opening your eyes. 

“And your moonmate is Minho, because you’re bitch whipped for him.”

Jisung gasps and stutters over his next words and you bet if you looked, he’s gone beet red and is avoiding Minho’s smug, knowing gaze. 

“What-no-’that’s not even-hyung!”

He’s whining to Changbin for help, but Changbin is already herding Seungmin out the door once more. 

“Sorry, Jisungie, can’t hear you, got to go.” 

With your eyes closed and your head on the cool table, the noise of the rest of your mates talking and the clink of spoons in bowls fades to the background, and you’re all too aware, suddenly, of the smell of incoming rain. 

Your wolf whines. 

Your body is aching, and as the scent of petrichor floods your senses, and the headache behind your eyes becomes a dull roar, you feel like anything would be better than this. 

Even if that meant losing Jisung’s stupid game.

*****

Minho ends up winning the game in the end. 

He does it in an entirely Minho-like way too, all sneaky and deceptive, telling you that he needs to show you something, but really, that’s just bullshit, and now he’s pinning you against Chan’s closed door. 

“Minho.” You whine furtively, eyes shifting to glance behind him, wondering how difficult it would be to try and escape. 

Probably pretty difficult. Minho is deceptively strong. And quick. 

Here, held against the entrance to Chan’s room, the smell of rain is almost too much to bear, and your wolf is going crazy-whining and circling, begging-and it’s getting harder and harder to stop yourself from physically drooling. 

“(Y/N).” Minho repeats back mockingly, a slight smirk curving his full upper lip as he holds you in place with a hand on either side of your head. 

“You’re playing dirty.” You protest weakly, because Chan’s overwhelming scent is making you dizzy, and your wolf is pacing impatiently. “Let me go.” “No.” Minho denies you easily, shaking his head. “This is for your own good.” 

Maybe it’s because you’re physically pliable due to Chan’s rut strengthened scent, or maybe it’s the fact that the headache you’ve had ever since the start of his rut hasn’t gone away in days, maybe it’s because you’re just straight up exhausted from denying your instincts-but whatever it is, when Minho leans into your space and scents you, you straight up moan, and it’s embarrassing. 

“That’s a good girl.” Minho murmurs beneath his breath, lips brushing the skin of your throat, and you can feel his smile against your skin, as you reach out without thinking and clench your fingers around his upper arms, tugging him to you desperately. 

“Not fair.” You whimper out halfheartedly, as Chan’s scent diminishes a little as you hear the shower turn on somewhere inside the closed off room, and god, it’s maybe the only small consolation you have, that he probably can’t hear the way you’re stupidly weak kneed for Minho in this moment. 

Minho pulls back, his pupils wide and dark, swallowing the swirling gold of his irises, and he tilts his head as he studies you curiously, lips still pulled upward into that damn smirk. 

“What do you want, sweetheart?” 

What do you want? You don’t know. 

Because your body, flush with Minho’s, backed against Chan’s door, wants him, wants the alpha in front of you, but there’s a tiny part of your brain that is balking at the idea, a slight swell of nausea building in your stomach at the strong notes of amber clogging the air, and your wolf is snarling, snapping, urging you to find the other alpha, the one who smells like rain and damp and storm. 

God, Minho is so deliciously hot, and the human side of your body desperately wants to pull him into your room and destroy him right here and now, but your wolf is too loud, and your headache is back with a vengeance, pounding in your temples, and everything feels wrong-

Minho looks completely nonplussed, standing in front of you, caging you in, waiting, watching for your answer. 

You realize too late by the way his eyebrow lifts triumphantly that he has you exactly where he wants you. 

“I want-” 

Minho takes your chin in his fingers, ghosts his thumb over the outline of your lips. “Say it.” 

You’re panting now, and god, is it hot in here, or is it just you?, and the scent of rain is back now, all too strong and all too close, and suddenly, before you can stop yourself, you’re blurting out, “Chan! I want Chan.” 

Minho looks vindicated, and you simultaneously want to punch him and have his tongue down your throat all at the same time. 

“Good girl.” He praises in a low voice, eyes flicking toward the door at your back, as if he’s expectantly waiting for something. 

The door pulls open all too suddenly, and Minho’s arms going around you are the only things that keep you from falling abruptly onto your ass with a high pitched little shriek. 

Chan is standing there in all his bronzed glory, towel wrapped low around his hips, hair still damp and curly from the shower, and god, was he always this pretty? How does he look so put together on the second day of his rut? 

“What’re you doing?” Chan asks in confusion, eyeing you and Minho, the other alpha’s arms still looped around your waist, and you can’t tell anything by his expression, eyes dark and unreadable. 

Mate, your wolf whimpers, wanting to draw toward him, but you stay firmly rooted in place, still staring at him with your mouth slightly open. 

Stop. Drooling. 

“Nothing.” Minho answers nonchalantly, and if he’s immediately overwhelmed by Chan’s damp smelling hormones like you are, he doesn’t show it, not even flinching in the face of the other male’s rut. “I was just telling (Y/N) that she should check on you.” 

Something flashes across Chan’s gaze-hesitation?- and he takes a step back from the two of you, hand still on the doorknob. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea-” 

“Why?” Minho questions casually, and the smirk is back, his eyes flicking between you and Chan-the way you stand rooted to the spot, the way Chan is backing away from you like you might explode at any moment. “I think it’s a great idea.” 

Chan shakes his head, and he’s breathing through his mouth now, chest rising and falling quickly, as if he’s trying to filter out your scent before it can reach his rut frenzied brain. 

You only just now notice the dark smudging beneath his eyes, the tired circles marking the tan skin like fading bruises. 

“Minho-” 

Chan’s voice is low, almost a growl, a warning to the other alpha. 

Minho ignores it completely. 

“Okay, well if you don’t want her to check on you, then I guess we can find something to do-” Minho leans into you, pulling you back against him, eyes still on Chan, as his mouth hovers over your scent gland, tongue darting out to wet his lips, barely brushing your skin and making you shiver. 

The headache is a thundering force now. 

Minho’s fingers tighten their hold on your wrist, and suddenly, the sound of a low, threatening growl is ripping apart the air between you. 

“Don’t, Minho.” Chan warns from between clenched teeth, eyes swirling like molten copper, body tense, teeth bared. 

Chan’s head alpha’s appearance makes you shiver and forces your wolf to cower, but Minho looks nothing but triumphantly smug, as he finally releases you and stares down Chan with that infuriating smirk. 

“Check mate.” 

Chan loops his fingers around your now unoccupied wrist and tugs you into the room behind him, angling his body between you and Minho, as if the other grinning alpha is a threat. 

The threatening rumble emanating from his chest has not diminished in the slightest.

“Have fun.” Minho simply says, still grinning ear to ear, before he shoots you a pointed look that says I just won, and shuts the door before Chan can get any more worked up. 

Chan’s room smells so overwhelmingly of thunderclouds that it instantly makes you salivate, your knees weakening just enough that you lean against the other alpha. 

Chan has other ideas. 

His fingers are pinched around your wrist just tight enough that it stings a little, and you can’t help the small whimper that slips past your lips as he pulls you over to the bed, not even throwing you a glance over his shoulder. 

You acquiesce easily-your wolf begging pathetically-as Chan pushes you down onto his sheets and looms over you, tossing his leg over your body, knees on either side of your hips, holding you in place with hands pinned above your head. 

You’ve never seen his irises so fiery golden before, and your wolf is reacting embarrassingly, rolling over on its back and baring its throat for alpha. 

You try to shove it back down with little to no success as his lip curls, revealing the white flash of his teeth, before he leans over and nips at your pulse point, the force behind the action almost making it painful as his sharp canines drag across your skin. 

God, it’s hard to think when the whole room smells like an impending storm.

You huff out an amused breath, and when Chan pulls back slightly to look at you, you offer him the hint of a smirk, wiggling your fingers where they’re intertwined with his own, still pinned, immovable, above your head. 

“Feeling a little possessive today, are we, puppy?” 

Another low growl escapes from between Chan’s lips and your wolf is excited now, turning circles, begging you to push him, to see how far he’ll go. 

You cock your head, studying him, the smirk still on your lips. 

“Did you not like it when the other alpha touched me, Channie?” 

“Don’t tease me.” Chan grates out between clenched teeth, eyes flashing dangerously, and adrenaline spikes through your body at the commanding tone behind his words. 

The storm brewing in the air around you rises to almost unbearable levels. 

“Why not?” You question innocently, playing the part of the brat to the fullest, just to see where it gets you.

 You cock an eyebrow and return his simmering golden stare even though your wolf is flattening its ears slowly in submission already.

 He doesn’t need to know that. Not yet. 

Instead, in a brave motion, even for yourself, you surge upward as best you can with your arms trapped behind you, and place your lips against the other alpha’s ear, mouth brushing across his hot skin with each word. 

You don’t miss the way his body shudders at the sudden contact, and the self satisfied smirk grows wider. 

“What’s wrong, Channie? Does it bother you to watch our packmates all over me when you’re trying so hard not to lose control, hmm?” 

Another growl, and then Chan is pinning you back beneath him with so much determined force that you lose your breath for a second. 

The gold is swirling so violently now that it’s mesmerizing, and the air is heavy and thick with incoming rain. 

“I hate it.” He growls out, voice low and strong in the back of his throat, teeth clenched as if he’s physically in pain. “God, I hate it so much. Watching them touch you, I wanted to-” 

He shudders again, swallowing hard, and when he opens his eyes, there’s a little less alpha and a little more Chan swirling in his irises, if only for a brief moment. 

“Wanted to what?” You push, wiggling one of your hands free. He lets you, and you reach up to trace a finger over the line of his cupid’s bow, admiring the way his plush, full lips give beneath the tip of your finger. 

Chan sighs, long and hard, as if he’s trying to right himself, but the gold is creeping back in, and he’s giving in to it, you can see it, feel it, in the way your wolf is baring all again for the incoming head alpha. 

Suddenly, there’s wolf in Chan’s eyes and not a whole lot of himself. 

He leans in and licks across the pink mating mark that covers most of your skin at the juncture of your shoulder, and it’s your turn to shiver, as he suddenly reveals his teeth, dragging them pointedly across your aching scent gland. 

“I wanted to rip them all apart.” 

His words have something suddenly aching within you, and you don’t know if it’s want, or if it’s simply your wolf, riled beyond belief, by the strong, heady rut pheromones Chan is practically oozing, but whatever it is leaves you gasping. 

Chan glances up at you, eyes sweeping across your face heatedly, and there’s something in his gaze that is your complete undoing, because suddenly, you can’t take it anymore. 

Gone is the teasing. Gone is the brat. And left behind is you, open and bared, waiting for the head alpha to take you. 

“Alpha.” You breathe out, and even that feels like a struggle past the sudden panting that has filled your throat. 

“Mmhm.” Chan hums beneath his breath, still sounding more like a growl than anything, as he nips along the skin of your throat, before lathing his tongue over the smarting, red marks he has left behind. 

Your body arches up into his of its own accord, and Chan pulls back slightly, a smirk now on his full lips, irises so golden that you can see the moon in them. 

You whimper, because you can’t think of any words, and Chan leans over you once again, fingers going firmly around your chin, petrichor so strong washing over you that it makes you dizzy. 

“What do you want, baby? Tell me.” 

You part your lips, but you’re not sure if you can even begin to form words, lest a jumbled sentence, and Chan’s smirk grows at the realization, white teeth flashing dangerously, and when he speaks again, his voice is a low, guttural rumble in the back of his throat that does things to your body all over. 

“Tell alpha what you want, baby, or else you’ll be left to my whims and my wolf is a little too out of control currently to be keen on gentleness.” 

His words snap some sense into your brain, but only a little, and you manage to stutter out around the sudden spit that fills your mouth, “Go ahead. Rough is good.” 

Your wolf keens in agreement. 

Chan chuckles, leaning forward to nose at the column of your throat once more. The patches of skin are already darkening and they sting, but the feel of his tongue, hot and slick with saliva, tracing his handiwork, instantly has them blooming. 

“And if I want to eat you alive?” He murmurs against your skin, fingers tracing down the length of your body, stopping as they tick across the warm flesh that stretches across your hip bones, as if waiting for your reply. “What then?” 

You’re struggling to breathe now-the rain is heavy and each lungful goes right to your head, making you dizzy-but you manage to nod, before saying somewhat stupidly, “Whatever you want, alpha.” 

Chan chuckles beneath his breath, the sound going right to your core, and then his fingers are dipping below the waistband of your pants and suddenly, coherent thoughts are no longer in your plane of existence. 

“Good girl.” Chan praises and you’re not sure if he’s talking about your reply or your body’s response to him, but either way, it doesn’t matter. 

Praise from head alpha is always good, your wolf preens almost incoherently. 

Shut up, you supply back, thoughts cut off by a groan as you completely lose yourself in Chan. 

Chan, Chan, Chan. 

Alpha, alpha, alpha. 

The room smells so heavily of storm and blooming wisteria by the time Chan rolls off of you and collapses beside you with a slight groan that you’re fairly certain your neighbors will be asking if you’ve gotten a new air freshener. 

That’s gonna be an awkward conversation to have. 

You fumble into a position on your side and throw your arm over Chan’s still heaving chest, his skin fiery beneath your fingers as you start to trace nonsensical patterns along his ribs, your nose buried in the juncture of his throat. 

He smells nice-like sweat, and shower gel, and damp earth, and Chan. 

You feel him start to card his fingers through your hair and you tip your head back to look at him, meeting his now completely cooled, caramel gaze with your own, his lips quirking upward into the hint of a self-deprecating smile. 

“Sorry about all the-” He gestures to everything sheepishly-his room, you, himself-and you tilt your head, watching him curiously, fond amusement clear on your features. 

“What?” You ask like you don’t know, crinkling your nose at him just to keep up the innocent act for a bit longer. 

Chan laughs, a sharp sound that squeezes past his breathlessness, and rolls his eyes at you affectionately, before reaching up to pinch your side with long fingers. 

You yelp and try to pull away from him, but he keeps you glued securely against his side, even though you’re beginning to sweat being this close to his overheated skin and shooting him a glare that could rival Minho’s. 

“Yeah.” He nods, as if he knows you get it, and you do. 

You lie in silence for a moment, basking in the warm afterglow of being with each other, and then without looking up at him, you say casually, “You know, Jisung’s gonna complain for a week about losing.” 

Chan raises his head slightly to cast you a curious look, one eyebrow quirked. “Losing what?” 

You focus on the way your fingertips trace across his skin, hiding your sudden grin behind a bite of your teeth. 

“The game.” 

This time, when Chan speaks, he sounds tiredly resigned and he’s no longer posturing his words as a question. 

“What game.” 

You shrug slightly and tilt your head back once more to look at him, batting your eyelashes and pursing your lips in an over dramatic display of innocence. 

Chan rolls his eyes. 

He isn’t buying it. 

“Fine.” You huff out, reaching out to pinch one of his nipples in retaliation, but Chan is faster than you, not to mention stronger, and he pins your hand once more against his ribs. You whine and struggle to free yourself from his grip. “Jisungie started it, okay? He wanted to see how far we could push you before you snapped.” 

Chan looks slightly amused now, albeit exhausted and long suffering, and he reaches up to run a hand over his face. 

“Before I snapped?” 

“Yeah.” You shrug again, and he finally releases your fingers from his own. You make a big show of stretching out your hand with little groans of pain so that maybe he’ll feel bad. He doesn’t. “During rut, you get kinda-” 

You struggle over your words, pondering if your life is worth telling a head alpha in active rut that he gets a little handsy and possessive. 

Finally, you decide it’s better to just get it over with. 

If you die, you die. 

“-possessive.” You finish lamely, glancing up at him once more. 

Chan has a thoughtful look on his features, and you hold your breath, waiting for his response. 

He catches you completely off guard when he starts to laugh, body shaking beneath your own with the force of his sudden mirth. 

“What?” You sit up abruptly, scowling at him, as you reach out to smack his bare chest, but once again, he’s too fast for you, capturing your hand before you can even make contact. You scowl some more. “What’s so funny?” 

Chan catches his breath, wiping at his eyes, and offers you a wave of his free hand. 

“It’s nothing. I’m just-” He gasps again, eyes still watering slightly. “-I can’t wait to rub it in that Jisung not only lost, but that he lost to Minho of all people.” 

You stare at him as he starts to laugh maniacally again, and consider calling someone for help, because obviously, rut has finally driven Chan out of his right mind. 

His giggles die down after another few minutes and when he meets your gaze again, the gold is already creeping back into his irises, the pupils darkening and blowing, the alpha once again moving in to overtake the human. 

Your wolf whines plaintively, invitingly, as if your body isn’t already tired and ready for a nap.

Chan’s alpha had put you through your paces, and you were just getting started. 

Chan tilts his head, and you see the perfect image of a wolf in the action, and his mouth pulls up into the start of a wicked smirk, tongue darting out to trace the outline of his lips in a motion that has you suddenly clenched up with want. 

Okay, so maybe it’s not all bad. You could probably go again. 

Chan loops his fingers around your wrist and tugs you down to him, nosing across the base of your throat, teeth skimming over the lines of your collarbone, making you shiver. 

“Anyway. There’s time for all of that later.” His irises gleam golden, minted coins in the tan skin of his face, and he looks more than satisfied with himself when you gasp at his teeth grazing your throat. 

“Ready for round two?” 

*********

💗 Taglist: @lolalee24 @meivida @sai-kida134 @aroseharder

[yoon-kooks]

how many | jjk | 2

Pairing: Jungkook x TattooArtist!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, BadBoy!AU

Summary: To Jeon Jungkook, you’re just the cutie who sits across from him in art class. He doesn’t have a clue that you’re also the hidden face of his favorite tattoo artist on social media. When the bad boy notices you’ve taken a surprising interest in his ink, he dares you to explore every inch of his body until all of his tattoos are accounted for. Tempted by his irresistible smile and delicate touch, you might even let him in on your little secret.

Word Count: 4k

Parts: 0 ◆ 1 ◆ 2 ◆ 3 ◆ 4 ◆ 5 ◆ 6

A/N: no smut yet but things are getting a little physical;;; im 90% sure there will be smut in the next part so hang in there yall!

◆ the one you found by the duck pond ◆

As much as you love your job, there are times when it becomes rather unpleasant. In most cases, it’s just a Karen client being unreasonable or someone urging you to hurry up because they can’t handle the pain. Those situations might be annoying, but they aren’t bad enough to ruin your mood once you’ve stepped foot outside of your parlor.

It takes a lot for you to be genuinely bothered or hurt by someone else, but that’s exactly what happened to you during your last appointment of the day. After all, it feels pretty shitty when a fellow tattoo artist you admire turns out to be a condescending asshole who calls your art “decent for a pretty face.”

You absolutely hate when people think they can judge you and make assumptions based on your appearance—especially when those assumptions involve your art. That asshole might never figure it out, but your pretty face has nothing to do with what you’ve accomplished with your art.

And unfortunately for you, that asshole’s comment still lingers in your head as you walk into class the next morning. Part of you worries that other artists might share the same sentiment and not take you or your art seriously. That’s probably why you’ve avoided making friends with anyone in your art class aside from Jeon Jungkook.

In fact, the thought of seeing Jungkook is the only thing keeping you from screaming your frustrations into the void this early in the morning. He’s one of the few people you feel like you can trust and be your quirky self around, and you find comfort in knowing it’s just been you and him making art across from each other for the past few weeks.

So it comes as a surprise to you when you walk into the classroom and see more than just Jungkook gathered around your table. Four other classmates somehow migrated from their original table on the other side of the classroom, and now they’re chatting away with Jungkook as if they’ve all known each other since grade school. Meanwhile, you don’t even know any of their names aside from Kim Taehyung, a popular face on campus who fully embraces the influencer life.

Taehyung and the others are too engaged in their conversation about skincare sponsorships to notice you slipping into your seat. As discreet as you are, Jungkook politely backs out from the lively conversation and watches as you pull your essentials out of your bag one by one—your sketchbook, your pencils, and an empty coffee mug that you swore you filled before leaving the apartment.

As soon as you hear the hollow clunk against the desk, you shove your mug back into your bag with an internal sigh. It’s fine. You don’t really need caffeine in your system anyway. But it would’ve cheered you up just a little.

Jungkook takes a sip of his own coffee before sliding it into your hands. It’s still warm and full, and you bet the boy has excellent taste in caffeinated beverages. The tiny sip you take is just right—not too sweet, not too bitter. And if the name written on the cup wasn’t “Kook,” you probably would’ve downed the whole thing in one go. Instead, you slide it back to the boy across from you.

“Have the rest,” he says, blocking you from pushing the cup any closer to his side of the desk. “Didn’t you say you like lattes?”

“Yeah, but—”

You’re interrupted by a phone screen sliding right between you and Jungkook. It has a picture of a fresh-faced Taehyung holding up a bottle of micellar water with “#ad” as the caption.

“Hey, let’s exchange IGs,” says the influencer. You assume he’s talking to Jungkook specifically, but then he turns to you. “What’s your handle?”

“@Y/NsArtCorner… But I don’t really post much.” You pull out your phone and give Taehyung a follow, just to show that you’re a good sport about this whole social media thing. He has about as big of a following as Jungkook. The only difference is that Taehyung shamelessly asks for follows from anyone he meets.

“That’s fine,” Taehyung says as he follows you back and scrolls through the few posts that you have. “Your art is stunning, by the way.”

“Thanks.” You don’t really know what else to say to him so you take some more sips of Jungkook’s latte.

Taehyung’s eyes trace the details and precision in your artwork. “Have you ever considered doing those Youtube videos where they speed draw real-life objects as if they’re sitting on the page? I feel like you’d get a lot of views.”

You shake your head. Again, you don’t have anything else to add aside from answering the question.

“Wait, I mentioned those same exact videos when I first saw Y/N’s art,” Jungkook says, high-fiving the other boy. He really makes social interactions look easy, and it’s a small reminder that your friendly interactions with him might not be as special as you’d like to believe. A guy like him could make anyone feel like a close friend of his. Perhaps you’re not the only person he’s shared his latte with or designed a bunny tattoo for.

But that’s the charm you’ve fallen for.

The rest of art class goes by slower than usual. You and Jungkook exchange few words with the other folks around, but you notice he stops to stare every once in a while as you fill your page with art. And when you catch him in the act, he casually gets back to work with the tiniest hint of a smile on his face.

After class, Jungkook waits as you zip up your bag, but so does Taehyung along with his other friends at your table.

“Hey, we’re grabbing some food at that new ramen place across from campus if you two wanna join,” Taehyung offers. As good as ramen sounds, you don’t think you can endure another hour of two-word conversations between you and that friend group. You don’t dislike them or anything, but it’s hard for you to feel like you belong with them the way Jungkook does so naturally.

“No thanks, we already have plans,” Jungkook says as he turns to you. You quickly nod in agreement with the boy’s little fib.

As soon as Taehyung’s group has exited the room, you sling your bag over your shoulder and say, “We have plans?”

“That depends.” Jungkook starts walking out the door, and you follow like a lost duckling. “Are you free?”

“Well, I do have a tattoo appointment later tonight,” you say, double-checking your phone to make sure you have at least a few hours of free time before then. Thankfully you do, because you still aren’t ready to go back to the place where certain clients fail to respect the art you create. “But I’m free until then.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s the design like?” Jungkook raises his eyebrow, not entirely buying your story. In his defense, you make it sound as though you’re the one getting the tattoo rather than doing the inking.

“It’s a lizard.” The actual design is a small alligator, but close enough. “Kind of dark and spooky, like if a lizard met a vampire.”

Jungkook looks up into space with a puzzled expression. “I’m trying to visualize it, but all I’m seeing is a crocodile,” he laughs.

“Yeah, but lizards are tinier and cuter.” You put your hands on your hips as if the two of you are having a heated debate over reptiles.

“I’m glad to see you’re back to being your weirdo self.” Jungkook gives you a flirty nudge with his elbow before holding his hand out for you to take. Usually, you’d hesitate and wonder if you’re misinterpreting a boy’s attempt at an affectionate gesture until he awkwardly pulls away. But it’s different with Jungkook.

Gravity doesn’t waste a second in pulling your hand to his until your fingers are interlaced. Physical contact might not be a new thing between you and him, but that doesn’t mean his warm touch ever gets old. In fact, it only makes you want it more.

“You were so quiet earlier. Was it because of Taehyung and the others?” he asks, pulling you along to who knows where. You figured Jungkook had noticed something was off about you during class, but you didn’t really expect him to bring it up.

“Um, yeah. I’m not really good with talking in group settings. Especially with people I’m not close to,” you explain. You wouldn’t blame Jungkook if he couldn’t understand where you’re coming from. “It’s kinda just a me-thing.”

He nods. “You must be pretty close to me if you’re getting all sassy about lizards.” It’s true. You could never see yourself going on about cute little lizards to just anybody—not your other classmates, clients, or even family. He gives your hand a squeeze and says, “I’m honored that other people don’t get to see the Y/N that I get to see.”

He’s earned it, though. You only act the way you do around him because he makes you feel right at home, wherever you are with him. He’s become your #1 source of comfort and the perfect remedy to a bad morning, and you just want to make him smile the way he does so easily for you.

“Good to know. I’ll be sure to save all the weird stuff for when it’s just you and me.” You grin from ear to ear as the two of you exit the art building. Jungkook pulls you down the same path you’d normally take if you were headed home on your own. Funny how the same road can lead to so many different possibilities when you’ve got someone else by your side. “So where are we going exactly?” you ask.

“Somewhere I think you’ll like.” His voice is almost a whisper, as if he doesn’t want you to hear it in the event that you don’t actually like the place he specifically chose with you in mind.

“Oh? You know what I like?” You search his eyes for answers, or at least a hint. That’s a mistake on your end, of course, because all you’re doing is getting yourself lost in that dangerously beautiful smile of his.

“Well, you like art, you like stealing lattes, you apparently like tiny lizards, and you might even like a handsome guy named Jeon Jungkook.” His eyes shift to the pavement when he says that last bit, but he forgets to hide his grin. He might be the only boy in the world who can make arrogance look adorable.

“Never heard of him,” you shrug. Teasing Jungkook has become a new favorite hobby of yours, but it’s hard to deny your fondness for him when you continue to hold his hand like it’s the most natural thing to do.

He’s got a hold on you, just like you have on him.

After walking down a lot of familiar roads decorated in street art, Jungkook leads you around a corner to your favorite duck pond just a few blocks from your apartment. Between the calm waters, the rustling of the cattails, and the occasional quack, this pond is the perfect place to escape to when you start to get sick of seeing the walls in your room. You’ve lost track of how many @snowsleeve originals were designed right in this very spot.

Jungkook was right. This is a place that you like a lot.

“I was in the area a few days ago for a touch-up, and I didn’t expect such a calm and quiet place to be hiding right behind the bold and bright art district.” Jungkook points at the trail of ducklings following their mother at the center of the pond. You can’t resist the urge to ooh and ahh at the sight of any baby animal. “Is it weird that I spent that whole afternoon staring at the ducks swimming around?”

“A little bit,” you chuckle, even though that’s exactly what the two of you are currently doing. “But I’m guilty of doing that before too.”

“Shit, you’ve been here before?” The boy sounds disappointed. Perhaps he’s wondering if another guy had already shown this secluded place to you—if you stood in this same exact spot and held hands with someone that wasn’t him.

“You know I live really close to here, right?” you say, pointing in the general direction of your home and referencing the fact that he’s given you a ride home on a few occasions. It’s convenient since your tattoo parlor is among several others in the heart of the art district. School, work, this pond—everything is within walking distance for you, and yet that hasn’t stopped you from taking Jungkook up on his offers to drive you home. “I come here a lot to sketch when I need a change of scenery. No one else is ever around, so you and I might be the only two people who know about it.”

“Let’s keep it that way,” he says, pressing a finger against his parted lips. It draws attention to the hoop around his lower lip. Great, now you’re distracted by its little gleam.

“Did this hurt?” You point to the spot on your lower lip that mirrors Jungkook’s lip piercing.

“It wasn’t as bad as you’d think.” He tugs on the ring and laughs when you cringe at the thought of that ever being ripped out. “But it definitely hurt more than a tattoo there.”

“Wait, you have a lip tattoo?” You lean in to examine Jungkook’s lip more closely as if you’d be able to see anything without pressing his lip down. Unfortunately for you, all you see are his plump lips that you may or may not want to feel pressed against yours. And the mere thought of the tiniest peck is enough to keep you on your toes.

“Maybe.” The boy waits politely for a moment as you eyefuck his lips. Then he returns to his regularly scheduled programming aka teasing you because it’s funny to him. “Why? Are lip tattoos a big turn-on for you?”

“No.” Yes, yes they are. But Jungkook doesn’t need to know that. “I’m just trying to make sure I count each and every one of your tattoos, remember?”

“Right, right,” he nods. “How many have you counted so far?”

Based on your calculations, he has 6 on his hand, somewhere between 10 and 15 in his sleeve (exact number tbd), and the band around his other bicep that you spotted at the gym. You crave to know how many more he might be hiding.

“At least 17,” you say.

Jungkook puts on his best poker face, and you’re unable to tell if your guess is even remotely close to the total across his entire body. A second later, he pulls his lower lip down just enough for you to read the words “fuck it” across the glossy surface. That might just be the most minimalistic tattoo he has, but it’s cute and to the point.

“So if you count this one, you’re at 18? That number sounds a bit low…” There’s a hint of suggestiveness in his tone. He wants you to keep searching, no matter how far you have to go to track them all down.

Without realizing it, the two of you wandered off from the duck pond and back into the district where thousands of tattoos have been brought to life in the flesh. In fact, you’re about a block and a half away from your parlor, where you remember you need to be later. You’d normally be pissed if your client made a last-minute cancelation, but you’re almost hoping they do today.

“Oh, that’s the place where I got my touch-up.” Jungkook points to a few buildings up ahead. “Yugyeom specializes in lips and takes walk-ins. Just saying.”

“No thanks, I think one appointment is enough for today.” You chase the brief thought out of your mind. You wouldn’t have even considered a lip tattoo for a second if it didn’t look so damn good on Jungkook.

Jungkook tilts his head at you with curiosity painted all over his face. “I still can’t tell if you’re being serious or just fucking with me about that lizard tattoo.”

“Maybe you’ll find it on me next time… or maybe you won’t.” Your shrug and cute little smirk get Jungkook to simultaneously laugh and groan out in frustration—the exact reaction you were aiming for. Isn’t that the point of this intimate game between you and him?

“Man, you’re making me want to get a new one now.” The boy lifts his arms and scouts out a vacant spot for some new ink. If you were to give him a tattoo, you wonder where it would go.

“You should try contacting @snowsleeve,” you suggest. “Maybe it’s easier to get an appointment than you think.”

Jungkook stops midstep. “Wait, is she the one you have an appointment with today?”

“No.” You give him a look as if he’s the weird one. As soon as he finishes his step, you start dragging him in the direction of your apartment. “But if you want her bad enough, I think you could make it happen.”

“Yeah…” Jungkook pulls out his phone, turns the screen on, and then immediately turns it back off. “But what if she says no?” he asks.

That’s when you realize something unimaginable. Jeon Jungkook is afraid of rejection.

“She won’t say no.” You assure him with confidence not only because you are the tattoo artist in question but also because you know what a catch Jungkook is. Anyone would be foolish to lose a boy like him. “And if she does say no, for whatever reason, that’s her loss.”

“You make it sound like I’m going to propose to her.” Jungkook makes a face before addressing your heartfelt pep talk from one friend to another. “But I get your point, and I probably shouldn’t be fretting over something like this, huh."

“Great, then you won’t mind if I DM her for you, right?” In the blink of an eye, you snatch the boy’s phone out of his hand and start typing out a message from @ArtOfKooking to @snowsleeve. And the only reason why you’re texting at an incredibly underwhelming 15wpm is that one of your hands is still being held captive by Jeon Jungkook.

The boy says, “Y/N, wait,” but he also doesn’t fight for his phone as you type one character at a time. He does, however, backspace when you get too carried away with the emojis. Bad boys apparently don’t vibe with the sparkly heart emoji the way you do.

Once you’re satisfied with the message, you hand the phone back to its rightful owner for him to hit send. He rolls his eyes at the baby angel emoji you managed to sneak in at the end, but he leaves it in anyway and sends the message.

“So if I hypothetically got an appointment with her, would you come with me?” Jungkook is practically the puppy eye emoji with how he looks at you for a response. What kind of sick human being could ever say no to that?

“Of course,” you say, smiling until your apartment comes into view. You suppose all good things must come to an end eventually. “Do you have an idea of where you’d want the tattoo?”

Jungkook, again, does a quick check of his visible skin. “Maybe somewhere hidden, where only you would know.”

That’s the appeal of a hidden tattoo—it’s your little secret, and you can choose who you share it with. You’ve done a lot of different tattoos in your professional career, but the hidden ones have always held the most meaning to you.

And maybe that’s why it meant something more when the boy invited you to find all of his tattoos, including the ones that aren’t easily accessible. He wants you to know that there are things like his hidden ink and the duck pond that are shared only between you and him. There’s no reason to have doubts when he treats you just as kindly as he treats anyone else.

Because no one else in the world will know where your tattoo went on Jeon Jungkook’s body.

When the two of you reach your front door, you dig around your bag for your keys. The boy peers over your shoulder from behind, and you’re pretty sure you can feel his warmth against your back.

Just as you swing the door open and take a step inside, Jungkook prolongs the hangout, the date, or whatever you want to call this spontaneous outing.

“Wait, Y/N. You don’t have a lip tattoo, too, do you?” he asks. All this talk about hidden tattoos must’ve sparked his curiosity, but you find it interesting that your lips are on his mind when it’s time to say bye.

You spin around and watch frame-by-frame as the boy’s eyes pan to your lips.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” You poke your tongue out just a tad to wet your lips, knowing very well that it’s not helping to pacify his curious heart.

“Can you open your mouth real quick?” His face is awfully angelic for a request that sounds devilish when taken out of context. “Please,” he so politely adds.

“Sorry, I only suck cock on Sundays.” You couldn’t be more nonchalant about the weird things you say. But then again, Jungkook did imply that he likes the weird you. “And preferably not with the door open like that.”

“Y/N, what the fuck,” he laughs, closing the door behind him to play along. You might never get over how cute he looks when his face scrunches up like that. “You know what I meant.”

The apartment feels a lot darker with the door closed even though the sun has only begun to set. If you didn’t have to tattoo a tiny alligator onto some guy’s calf today, something tells you Jungkook would stick around a little longer and you wouldn’t get much sleep tonight.

You take a few steps back toward the door to your room, and he follows like a magnet. “If you want my mouth open so badly, open it yourself,” you dare him.

With his eyes glued to your lips, he pins you against your door and cups his tatted hand gently around your chin. His thumb grazes your lower lip but doesn’t press down on it just yet. His eyes, now glazed with lust, meet yours just a split second before your lips collide.

You didn’t expect a kiss from Jeon Jungkook to be so delicate, but that’s exactly what you get. His lips have a plush bounce to them, eager but not assertive. His tongue, on the other hand, slides right in and makes itself at home before you can even invite him in. At least he makes it up to you with tenderness and heat, like a slow and sensual massage that brings out the tiniest moan from you.

You have to resist the urge to run your hands up his chest to his very vulnerable neck. Because once you start letting your lust take over, you know you won't be able to stop, and you'll make your client sad when you have to reschedule his highly anticipated lizard tattoo.

So, as much as it pains you, you force yourself to end the kiss with a few pecks on his lips and one on his cheek. His hand still cups your chin, so you help his thumb pull your lower lip down to reveal nothing but a flushed interior where a lot of mutual feelings were satiated for the time being.

“Keep looking,” you say softly, backing Jungkook toward the way out. You would really love it if your local lizard enthusiast called and canceled his appointment right now. But of course, that doesn’t happen. “And let me know when you get a response from @snowsleeve!”

“You’ll be the first person I tell,” he nods and opens the door with a healthy smile. “Have fun at your appointment.”

“I will,” you say. And you mean it. Even though you were bothered by the thought of work earlier that morning and would’ve preferred to stay with the boy longer, you know you’ll be okay no matter what shit you go through. As long as you know Jungkook is waiting to make you smile and feel special again at the end of it.

[heeracha]

thirty-nine. / forty. — the one where jealous sunoo strikes again. / forty-one.

for me. — k. sunoo

✴︎ synopsis: to sunoo, you were just a random girl in one or two of his classes who happens to be friends with his friends while to you, sunoo was the guy who you’ve been swooning over for a year or so. now, with you tweeting about your crush on him on the wrong account, sunoo has just one question. you’re the one who confessed to him, so why the hell is he the one chasing (literally and figuratively) you?

✴︎ pairing: sunoo x fem!reader

✴︎ content/genre: smau, college au, fluff, angst (?)

✴︎ warning(s): swearing, always HEHE

✴︎ note: last angst (-ish??? is this even angst?) i promise. we're almost there, people. i swear. HEHHEHE i just thought that,,, angsts are mostly necessary,, in this fic too bcs it was a slow burn yknow? but yeah !! thank u sm. again, we're almost there <3

it was the last day of the first year, sunoo comes into the building, excited because he gets too see you again. how is he so whipped? and just like everyday, he walked in with a lot of eyes on his way. it annoyed the hell out of him, honestly, but when you two have gotten closer, the stares lessen. but now, why the hell is he getting more stares than usual?

sunoo's eyes go around, seeing you on the side with... jeongin.

"i may kind of like you." jeongin says and you awkwardly look over your shoulder, then back to the person in front of you. "you, y/n. yes, you."

"oh." you mumble softly. so jay was right. "well, i.."

sunoo frowns, continuing to walk not wanting to hear what you're going to say, but soon he was stopped when he heard his name being called. it was jeongin.

"hi." sunoo says, looking at jeongin as he presses his lips into a thin line, not knowing what to do. he doesn't know what he feels, if he's sad or awkward.

"look, i don't mean to ruin anything between you and y/n. all i wanted was for her to know. i'm really sorry." jeongin apologizes.

"jeongin, no ,we're—"

"it's okay." sunoo says and your eyes widen, looking at him. "as long as that's it." he says and your jaw drops. wait, what? why isn't he saying that there's nothing going on between you two? what the hell, kim sunoo?

"yeah, that's all." jeongin says with a small smile. "okay, i have to go. see you, y/n. sunoo." he says, patting sunoo on the shoulder as he takes off.

sunoo awkwardly stands in front of you, looking at everywhere but your eyes. when he feels like it's been too long, he looks at you with a nervous look as he lifts his hand up to gently push your jaw up to close your mouth.

you grab his hand, pulling it down. "sunoo, what the hell was that?" you asked and sunoo whined, closing his eyes as he puts a hand on his forehead.

"i don't know, i.." sunoo said as he looked at you.

"you just implied that we're together."

"why, do you like him?" sunoo asks and you shake your head 'no'. "well, why not?"

"oh my god, you know why not!" you exclaimed and sunoo stayed silent, realizing how frustrated you must have probably been with how he's been acting towards you lately, especially when he's not saying that he's just as in love with you as you are with him. you looked at him with a small frown on your face. "it's just.. i.."

sunoo catches a glimpse of jake from behind you and he nods, gesturing for him to finally tell you that he feels the same way as you do. sunoo takes in a deep breath as he lets you finish on what you were saying probably something about why sunoo shouldn't have done what he did.

"i'm sorry. it's just..." sunoo starts. well? just say it, sunoo. "i.. know how much you hate rejecting people. so.. yeah." oh, sunoo. what the hell. "sunghoon told me."

you press your lips into a thin line, nodding. "thanks, i guess." you say as you grab on the strap of your bag. "i have to go."

sunoo turns as you slowly walk off. "hey, text me when you're free?" he hopefully says.

you turn around, forcing a smile. "i'll try. i have a lot to do for the day." you lied, turning back around as you walk away. sunoo frowns, scratching his head. why couldn't he just have said that because he wants it to be true?

"hey." jake softly says and sunoo turns to see his friend getting nearer. sunoo forces a smile and jake pats his back. "it's okay. you really have to tell her though. after what you just did."

"sunghoon's going to combust when he hears about this." sunoo said and jake lightly chuckled.

✴︎ au taglist [ closing the taglist because we're nearing the end. thank you so much for everyone who supported this fic <3 ] : @tomorrowbymoa-together @icywhatim @giyyuzz @ncityy04 @yougeans @hobistigma @nyfwyeonjun @big-fool-energy @amakumos @pixyseeun @angel-hyuckie @meiiiwa @jvnsun @aria-grace-scott @msxflower @pebbypenny @isaluv @snowfalltxt @dinosdance @m1ng-how @taylorswifeyyy @tobiosbbyghorl @urresidentdrugdealer @leeis @yizhoutv @chirokookie @apricottulips @jay-durian @studioreader @hibuki-chan @mildlystupid @tenten-67 @hiqhkey @wh4txium1n @uhhalexwashere @sunswoonie @ahnneyong @clarakyunisageek @silkyyvenus @wonderwrench @yourlocalhotgf @jaycheoluwu @haechans-sunflower @kkquml @hoonstrology @mybabywearschanel @xeirisarax @lilacsxjoon

[anextrapart]

How does Kim help Jimmy adjust to being out of prison after so many years inside?

By being on his side just like she's been since the day they met.

One of the wonderful things about Kim No-Middle-Name Wexler is that when she gets invested in something, she goes all in. She advocates for him the entire time he's on the inside, even before they know he'll be getting out. Jimmy is very fortunate that not only does he have this amazing support system in her on a personal level, but he also has a tremendous legal mind who's going to fight (pro-bono) to make sure he's treated as well as he possibly can be in that environment. So while prison is by no means fun or relaxing or particularly pleasant, relatively speaking he has a better go of it than many.

But he's clearly not unaffected by it and so well before Jimmy is scheduled to be released, Kim starts researching how best to help him once he’s out. She reads up on firsthand accounts of people transitioning into normal life after long prison sentences, and chats with a couple of the clients she's friendly with who have spent multiple years in prison. She finds a counselor who can not only work with Jimmy if he wants (she's already talked/written to him about it and he's open to the idea), but can also help guide Kim through supporting him during some of the potential turbulence.

She's really nervous when they first get home to her apartment. Rationally, she knows that Jimmy is just happy to be free and with her, but she so desperately wants this to go well for him that she can't help being anxious.

He's quiet while she shows him around, though they’d been talking almost non-stop since she picked him up. The apartment is smaller than the one she'd had in Albuquerque, but it's comfortable and she's become fond of it.

She shows him the kitchen, where she stocked a few of the items he’d mentioned missing in some of his letters. The bathroom, where there’s a new toothbrush and some basic toiletries on the counter waiting for him. The bedroom, where there’s a few new tees and pairs of socks and boxers in a drawer, a pair of jeans and two brightly colored casual button-downs hanging in a wide cleared space of the closet. New shoes on the floor in his size.

He still hasn’t said anything, 

Kim fidgets. "I didn't want to assume what you'd want, but I figured you'd need to start somewhere."

He reaches out and runs the fabric of one of the shirts between his fingers.

"You did all this for me?"

Oh.

She tries to shrug it off. "It's just shirts and toothpaste."

“It’s not.” He turns to look at her, and she’s relieved to see a small smile on his face. “You know it’s not.”

“You’ve never lived here, but I wanted it to feel like home. At least a little.”

“It does.”

Jimmy pulls her into a hug, bone-crushing, and she wants it tighter, closer. She buries her face in his neck, thinking it might never be enough.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

-

Jimmy doesn’t always sleep well, more prone to light fitful sleeps and nightmares, but it does improve over time. It helps to have Kim there when he wakes up--he can lie awake and listen to her breathing to calm himself down. He usually tries not to wake her, but she made him promise that if it’s ever really bad, he’ll get her up. In the interest of being honest and open, he takes her up on the offer sometimes. He always feels bad and apologizes for disrupting her sleep, but she never gets annoyed with him, just asks if he wants to talk and holds him tight.

In the longterm, there’s an occasional tendency toward stillness in him that he never used to have. It takes some getting used to, but Kim comes to realize that usually it’s just a component of his newfound peace within himself. He’s more able to just settle than he’d been before. Over time she gets really good at reading this new part of him, can tell when he’s content and just sitting quietly, or when he’d benefit from her pushing him a bit to talk through whatever’s going on his head. But sometimes she can tell he’s not ready yet to talk and so rather than pressuring him in that moment, she sends Mabel his way with a tennis ball or a tug toy--few things brighten him up as quickly as their dog, and even if Kim didn’t love the pup in her own right (she does, more than she’d ever expected), she’d love her for that alone.

-

send me mcwexler ideas or prompts for after jimmy gets out of jail and I’ll try to write headcanon/fic stuff!

[likeastarstar]

Headcannon No. 8 - Namjoon

You were hiding something from your best friend.

It was a long story, but she had a brother. He was a older and as far as she knew, you thought he was annoying- which he was. He was annoying and persistent and maybe the only person who was smarter than you.

Which is why you didn't know how to beat his logic that hooking up with him was a good idea.

It was only supposed to be one time- he was staying with you and your best friend for a night when he was in town but fast forward a couple months and he moved closer, meaning he was over more. One thing led to another and suddenly Kim Namjoon found himself in your bed quite often.

"W-what are you doing here?" You asked, unable to take your eyes off of his clenched jaw.

Normally, he'd text you before. Namjoon was a planner, liked making sure his sister wouldn't be home and liked making sure you were waiting for him- he dangled himself like a carrot over your head and it worked every time. Not that you didn't do the same thing to him, making him work for your attention in other ways. It was a mutually beneficial situation- he was sexy and you intrigued him.

"I had an itch I needed scratching," He said in a bored tone. "Can I come in?"

You looked towards your best friend's room where you knew his sister was- the light was on, meaning she was awake still. Having him over wasn't a good idea when she was here- it was like asking to get caught.

"We said we would be careful," You said in a soft tone, although if he kept looking at you the way he was now- you'd cave quickly.

He was dressed in a pair of shorts that made your mouth water and a large shirt that would probably be a dress on you, wide shoulders taking up the majority of the door frame. His eyes narrowed at you, noticing your wandering eyes over his figure.

"Fine, I'll just come in as a friend, then." He shrugged, pushing past you into the apartment.

Rolling you eyes, you closed the door quietly behind him and followed his footsteps into the living room. "We're not friends- remember? That's the whole point of this," you pointed out, you voice barely above a whisper.

"Even when you're breaking the rules you have to be so anal about it, don't you kitten?" He taunted, throwing an annoyed look towards you.

"Stop calling me that," you warned, pushing your hand flat against his chest to try and knock him over. Instead he caught your hand and held it there, pulling you closer towards him. You bumped up against him, gasping in surprise lightly.

"What are you gonna do about it?" He grinned, running his hand through your hair.

Namjoon seemed to be really fond your hair. Even around other people when he thought no one was looking he'd reach out and twirl a finger around a loose tendril. He liked massaging your scalp when you talked to him at night when he decided it was too late to go back to his place, mumbling something about sneaking out before his sister woke up and you'd always say yes because she slept in most days anyway.

You gave him a pointed look, digging your nails into his chest. He hissed but didn't let go, a small smirk settling on his full lips.

"Say the word and I'll go," he promised, rubbing the back of your neck softly with his free hand.

You thought about it for a moment, trying to weigh my options but realistically, why would you tell him to leave?

"Don't go," you mumbled, flattening your hand on his chest, cat claws retracted for the moment.

He smiled and let go of you, already tugging at the hem of his shirt as he walked towards your bedroom, "I'll make it worth your time, kitten."

[yuzukult]

bittersweet. (m) || kmg & reader

title: bittersweet. pairing: kim mingyu x reader genre: angst, fluff, smut, established relationship!au word count: 3.1k warnings: dirty deed is done (aka explicit sex if you didn't catch that). profanity. prompt: you're always fighting. he doesn't get you. so why are you even still together? a/n: before any of my friends make fun of me, shaddup. anyways, this is for @/ficscafe dialogue prompt event! i'll be using #14: you make me weak.

He’s so adamant.

The crinkle in between his brows, the scrunch of his nose, and his incessant blinking from all the nerves, despite it all, he still stands firm on his beliefs.

But you’re fighting. Always fighting.

He doesn’t get you—he spends most of the time he's with you arguing about how insensitive you are as a person, how nonchalant you can be when you should be reacting with some type of emotion, and how he wished you’d been more affectionate with him.

But he doesn’t understand you. He thinks you’re selfish (sure, he didn’t outright state this, but you can sense him feeling this way.)

Albeit you’re unsure how you got yourself in this position—back flat against the wall, his hands on your wrists with his crotch pinning yours as your legs wrap around him securely to meet his gaze from the height difference.

“I need you to talk to me,” he rasps, anger filled in his voice. “I’m so tired of making this into some guessing game. Why can’t you just tell me how you feel?”

Although he’s got you cornered, rutting his hips into you once again, it's not persuasive enough. “Talk to me.”

“If you can’t figure me out, maybe we should just break up. I didn’t want to date in the first place.”

Jaw clenched, his eyes continue to melt into yours. He’s looking for anything—a sign, a glimpse, a crack in your exterior to see whatever it is you’re truly feeling inside. “Why do you always use that as a solution? Instead of just communicating?”

“Because—“ you halt, breath hitching when he shifts, the head of his cock rubbing against your bud through your thin material shorts. “—Because it’s an easier solution. What do you expect from me?”

“To tell me and show me if you like me or not. You’re like a fucking boulder. I can’t move you.”

You quirk a brow. “Your fucking holding me down right now. You’ve evidently proved you can move me elsewhere.”

“Emotionally,” he says, exasperated. “The most I can get you to feel something is when we’re fucking. I’m surprised we’re even fucking in the first place. You barely let me hold your hand!”

Rolling your eyes, you pull your arms from his hold and he lets go easily. It’s the type of person Mingyu is—he’s gentle, the complete opposite of you, with a heart of gold that everyone loves and appreciates. He’s lovable, known to many, and desired by them all, and somehow, you got him in your grasp and truthfully… you’re not sure what to do.

He’s fragile, but you have rough hands with toughened skin from years of experience and encounters. There’s this fear that you’ll drop him, shatter him into pieces as brittle as chinaware. So you hold the front, keep yourself strong with a facade tougher than concrete, because you’re afraid if you hold on too tight, he might break. And at the same time, he might break you too.

“You wanna know why?” You finally blurt, words firm and sharp. “Because you make me weak. And I don’t like being weak. I don’t like being known as weak. And you—you do that to me. I hate it.”

He furrows his brows. “I make you weak? The one girl I know to be the most resilient?” Mingyu has to scoff in disbelief because it’s the first time he’s hearing this. “You realize how insane you sound? It’s okay to have feelings for me. It’s why we’re together.”

Nose twitching, you suck in your cheeks. “I hate it. I hate this. I hate that when you turn to look at me in the morning, you give me that fucking… smile. Like I’m your whole world. Like you’re head over heels for me and I’m all that you see.”

“And why do you hate that?”

“Because, some part of me, deep down into the abyss, wants to look at you like that too.”

His jaw loosens, just like the restraints he had over his heart in the past hour of arguing, hands now finding purchase on your thighs to pull you back up closer. “Baby…” he calls out for you softly, the term of endearment nearly bursting your heart, but you keep yourself calm and collected as you normally do. “Then do it. Why are you so scared?”

“I told you.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

“Well, it’s good enough for me.”

He heaves a heavy breath. “Baby, I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I’m chasing you but I’m getting nothing out of it.”

Then, you reiterate the same words you’ve said multiple times, but there’s never any genuinity in it because you never actually… meant it. “Then let’s break up.”

“We’re not breaking up.”

“Then what do you want to do? Tell me. If breaking up isn’t the option, then tell me instead of having me up the wall if we’re not gonna fuck.”

“Fucking only happens when you’re pissed or when you’re making up.”

“So, what now?”

It’s Mingyu’s turn to roll his eyes. “We make up. I need you to talk to me. I can barely read you—the only thing I know for sure is that you don’t want this to end because you just admitted to me that you wanna look at me the same way I look at you.”

Frustrated, you let your head drop onto the wall behind you. “This is annoying. I don’t like expressing stuff. You just take what you get or leave. If you can’t figure out what’s going through my mind, what’s the point? Why put in the effort?” Eyes fluttering shut, you feel yourself wanting to crawl into a ball and just… hide. Despite being fully clothed, you feel naked when Mingyu asks for more. And what he’s asking for isn’t even unreasonable—you’re just horrible at telling people what you’re feeling. “I just… why can’t I just let you lay your head on my lap when you get home from work? Or… cook dinner with you. Even have it ready when you have long nights at work. Maybe even fold your laundry—I don’t know. I don’t like PDA but if you asked me, I’d hold your hand under the table. Or… hold it in your pocket on cold days.”

Then, Mingyu stays silent (for the first time).

It finally hits.

You’re not outspoken when it comes to soft things. You’re loving but not in the same way he is. You’re also honest and straightforward about everything except when it comes to admitting feelings for him.

And for once, when you say those words, he… he feels loved by you.

He remembers those days—after spending hours at the gym despite having a long work day, he’d come home and you’re there waiting for him on the couch so you could shower together. You’d help scrub his limp body, even though he moans and groans about how sore he is, but you do it nonetheless because you like him. Or when you stopped by at his apartment, one he shares with all his friends, because he was stuck with helping one of them build their beds and you brought them all, including himself, lunch. And that wasn’t to mention you were already working twelve hour days.

“Can you answer one question for me, then? I won’t force you to tell me again. I just need to hear it once.”

Your eyes open, and it feels like a mistake because your heart drops into your stomach. His gaze is hypnotizing, like he’s got you in a trance, and you respond with a ‘yes’ without much thought because of him.

Mingyu swallows all his anxiety before asking that million dollar question.

“Do you love me?”

Although you feel small being put on the spot like that, the one thing you’ll admit is that you’ve already predetermined the answer to this. And just as much courage as Mingyu puts into asking, you’ll reciprocate and do the same in answering because he’s admirable for even trying.

“Yes.”

Without much thought, he presses his lips against yours. You love him, although you rarely if not never say it, but you finally said those words and all he needs is to hear it just once for assurance. To know that there’s something he’s chasing for, that he’s not running in place like on a treadmill.

Arms snaking around his neck, you keep your hold there as his hands reach to your jaw, leveraging the kiss in an angle he’d prefer. When you kiss, he feels complete. He’s never felt like this with another girl before, this feeling of home, the feeling of comfort. You’re colder than brisk winters, but something about having you in his arms makes him warm.

Your fingers comb through his locks, and although it’s doused in gel and spent hours on doing this morning, he doesn’t mind because he knows he’s yours. When you kiss him back, he’s as anxious as he was when he had to go on stage and perform in front of people for the first time.

Gently pulling away, both your lips are pink and swollen with a string of saliva connecting between. Pants brushing against each other’s face, a soft smile tugs on the edges of your lips as you feel heat creeping up your neck.

“I love you too,” he says, as low as a whisper. “And… I’m okay if you don’t say it again. You know how I show you that I love you… and I should’ve been better at learning what you’re comfortable with in showing how you love. But I still need you to help, too, to make this… better. I need you to talk to me, when you need me. When I need you. I need you to be here for me too.”

“Okay,” you respond, volume matching his. “If that’s the case, I love you. Just… as another reminder since I only said yes the first time.”

He lets out a chuckle, vibrating from his chest and everything about him makes your heart race. “Good. Can I show you how much I love you?”

“No,” you retort quickly and bashfully. But he knows you’re playing because you nod afterwards, allowing him to carry you to the couch. “Maybe.”

“I need a yes, love,” Mingyu says cheekily, face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. “You know I’m not going to go any further until I hear it.”

“Yes,” you reply embitterly, but Mingyu knows better now. He knows what you want, because all he needed was assurance. “Please show me how much you love me.”

And fuck, because he never knew how much he needed to hear those words all his life.

You’re so pretty when he has you stripped down to nothing, laid out on the leather couch of your living room; hair messy, mouth gaped open from all his teasing, and with an arm covering your face because it’s all too much for you. Mingyu is a passionate lover, you’ve come to recognize, and although it’s all an unfamiliar territory, you love him and you’re willing to step into the unknown.

“How am I doing?” He asks, as if he doesn’t have his head in between your legs and a grip on the meat of your thighs. He loves the taste of you, he reminds you plenty of times, but dirty talk coming from such an innocent face makes you slightly embarrassed. “Feels good?”

“Shut up,” you hiss, avoiding his infatuated stare. “Just… just fucking do it, you asshole.”

“What? Show you how much I love you?”

There’s a tornado in the pit of your stomach. He keeps saying things that make you awkward because you’ve never been loved like how Mingyu loves.

You don’t react, and this displeases him. Laying his tongue flat out against your cunt, he gives you another lick that lets a whimper escape from your lips. “Tell me, baby. Am I doing a good job?”

“Yes,” you croak, only because you feel like he’s got you in this position for so long. You’re so exposed, and he at least has his boxers to protect him like a shield, but you’re all out in the open. (Not to mention his fucking built body. He makes you feel so insecure about yours—how is this puppy looking boy so… wide? What the fuck?) “Can you… can you take that off?”

He leans up, tilting his head in confusion and now you can see how hard he is in his undergarments. “My… my boxers?”

“Yeah. I feel like… I’m the only one exposed here.”

He laughs. “Baby, we’ll get to that.”

“Now.”

Mingyu snorts. “Anything my baby wants.” He bumps foreheads with you gingerly, something he's always done playfully, and tugs off his boxers swiftly as requested. “Let me make you cum first and—“

“No,” you interject, eyes closed and biting down on your bottom lip. It's the only way to remain bold—to not look him in the eye because he’ll melt you like a stick of butter left on the kitchen counter. “Show me how you love me.”

Mingyu doesn’t hesitate to shuffle quickly through the little stash hidden on the first shelf underneath your coffee table (he likes to be prepared in every situation even though this is your apartment) and finally spots the condom he hid a week ago. Tearing it open rapidly, he gives himself a couple pumps that have beads of precum building at the top and slips the rubber on with ease. “Ready?”

“For you?” Mingyu gulps, because before today, you’ve rarely said anything that made his heart stutter. “Anything.”

With a push of the head of his cock into your heat, a quiet wince escapes from your lips and his chocolate orbs are saturated in apologies. He doesn’t want you to feel pain, especially not you, but even his efforts to loosen you up beforehand, you still manage to be so tight around him every time. It feels good to have you around him snugly, yet he knows the consequence of the beginning is the ache in between your legs from the first intrusion.

“I’m sorry, bub,” Mingyu presses a tender kiss on your forehead. “Bear with me, yeah?”

“Mm,” you hum dismissively, warming up when he finally slides himself all the way in. He stills, in fear that you’re hurt, but instead, you’re surprisely impatient as you cross your legs behind him and pull him close. Bringing your lips close to his ears, you breathe, “fuck me, baby.”

Mingyu laughs brightly, and your jaw clenches. “What?”

“After today, I’m not going to fuck you.” You quirk a brow. “I’m gonna make love to you.”

“Don’t make me throw up. You’re ruining the moment.”

He grins mischievously before pulling out and shoving himself back in swiftly that earns a groan from you. “Oh? Am I?”

“Stop playing, Mingyu,” you state sternly, but Mingyu is enjoying himself too much. “Or else you're not getting any for the month.”

Well, that does the trick.

He has his hands on your hips, pushed down against the seat cushions of your loveseat couch, hips once flushed against yours now thrusting into your throbbing pussy. God, you’re fucking done for, honestly, because he’s a pro with his hips when he angles it just right that he’s brushing against your swollen clit, hitting so deep into you.

“Fuck—“

“You curse too much, baby,” Mingyu puffs, pecking the side of your lips sloppily. “Everyone thinks I’m such a nice guy and when they meet my—fuck—g-girlfriend and find out how much of a dirty mouth she has, they’re always struck.”

“Too fucking bad,” you spit, fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders. He’s so big, stretching you with each shove, but you’d never tell him that or his ego would inflate. “Stop talking and fuck me harder.”

Mingyu loves. He loves and loves, and although you won’t pretend that he comes to your home often with crumpled pieces of papers with girls’ names and numbers on them that fall into the catch-all bowl by the door with his keys, you don’t forget that besotted daze he falls into the moment he sees you. So when you ask for something, he delivers without fail.

Abiding by your urge, his hips move briskly, pistoning into you as fast as he can. Biceps tense, you can’t help but let your hands slip there, gripping onto the muscle and has you wondering fuck, how did you get so lucky? He’s hot, cute, sweet, loving and geez, he could fuck. He’s so clumsy, so dumb sometimes, but he’s so freaking lovable it makes you sick. Lovesick.

His pretty eyes shut close, you notice, because those two cups of hot chocolate are gone and he’s chewing on his bottom lip as he groans, ends of his hair that brush over his eyes now drenched in sweat. His skin glistens underneath the dim lights, and he reminds you of the stars in the night sky—so gorgeous, so special. Always a sight to see.

“Fuck,” the not-so-innocent boy curses (even though he just said you curse too much) “Baby, you just got so tight. Are you about to cum?”

“Possibly,” you manage to say, still attempting to play games even though Mingyu could very so threaten to steal your orgasm away from the tip of your fingers. But when he slightly shifts in the midst of his pounding, you let out a raspy, “Almost,” because he’s rubbing against your nub incessantly that you’re losing all your focus.

When you finally see those stars, you let go.

Mingyu feels this, grunting when you convulse around his dick, head dropping to watch you tug and tug around him, begging for him to cum. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long because after a couple thrusts, he stills, spilling ropes of cum into the condom and dropping the entirety of his weight onto you, face snug into the crook of your neck once again.

“I—“

“You’re heavy.”

“Fuck, baby, we just had sex and that’s the first thing you say?”

He can’t see you, but there’s a smile on your face. “Yeah. And you got my couch all sticky from your sweat. Not to mention the cum. Are you gonna clean it after?”

Mingyu doesn’t care. He’s blissful. He’s happy. He knows you’re going to toss a damp rag at him later, despite his dick out and still drenched in your arousal, and tell him to ‘wipe down the fucking couch because that’s gross.’

All because he knows that you love him.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑆𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧 (𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑)

Warnings/Disclaimer: NSFW content/Older Ateez but age differences is written withing legal boundaries. Also mentions of infidelity (which I don't condone, justify nor encourage), corruption kink and loss of virginity.

A/N: Also, Yeosang's reaction is a sneak peek at the Dilf! Fic in my w.i.p.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

It all started as a way to get a passing grade for the semester, but soon became a mission to get inside your professor's pants. You still remembered the unamused gaze he gave you when you first suggested you 'help' him out.

"Nice try Miss Y/N.... but perhaps instead of wasting time behind the bleachers sucking off the jocks' cocks, maybe dip your head instead into your books and study for once."

You couldn't believe he'd actually reject you. No man had ever rejected you, they always fell to your charms. Professor Kim was about to become your biggest challenge yet and you didn't mind. Besides, something about fucking an older man had you pulling out your trusted vibrator out so many times during the night. Kim Hongjoong was just so fucking hot and you desperately wanted him, even if for one night.

"Please Mr. Kim..... you know they say I give the best blow jobs here." You tried yet again one day when everyone else left.

"They? You mean horny 20 something year olds who bust a nut by just a booby pic?"

For the first time, his poker face finally had an expression in the form of a smirk.

"Honey, you're going to have to try a lot harder than that. I've had my cock sucked by countless women in all my years. Besides..."

Leaning closer to you, he reached a hand out so his thumb could graze across your bottom lip.

"What makes you think a pretty young thing like you can take a mature cock like mine? You've probably never even had one half the size of mine."

You let out an involuntary moan as you pictured just how well endowed your teacher was. Looking down, you noticed the obvious bulge he was donning and you wanted nothing more than to pull him out and suck him dry. It seemed he noticed since he sat back down on his chair. Gesturing for you to come over, you practically hopped over to him, letting him guide you on your knees as he began to take himself out.

"But do knock yourself out. I'm kinda curious to see what the newer generations do nowadays."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Others would have complained and would be annoyed by the fact their new neighbors would have almost daily fights between them, typical marital disputes. But not you, you didn't mind hearing their screaming that was clearly heard through the walls. Especially since more often than not their fights would end in rough, angry sex that had you touching yourself at nights, a guilty pleasure you always looked forward to.

And you had been eyeing the husband from the moment the couple moved in. Park Seonghwa was everything you looked for in a man and even more. Handsome, mature, tall, well sculpted, responsible, sexy as hell and you knew for a fact he could definitely fuck. One day you knocked over at their door to give them one of them many pastries you'd often bake for your neighbors in the building.

"You know Mr. Park....if you ever get too frustrated with your wife....my door is always open." You boldly offered him.

He looked at you in shock but you sent him a reassuring wink before walking back to your apartment, making sure to sway your hips so he could have the image engraved in his mind. And boy did you rile him up. Now he couldn't stop thinking about you. You're all he had in his head. Now whenever he'd fight, he'd storm out and you'd welcome him, proud to get what his wife wasn't getting anymore. And you were hell bent on making sure you'd keep him to yourself.

"Cum inside me....fill me up." You told him one day.

He was so lost in his lust for you he didn't think he'd hear you correctly. Giggling, you flipped the position so you were now on top of him, bouncing yourself on his enormous cock.

"I'll give you what your wife won't give you. Knock me up with your babies, fill me to the brim. I wanna carry your kids in me." You ran your hands down your chest and placed them on top of your stomach to get your point further across.

Seonghwa was going wild by this point. He had wanted to become a father for so long but his narcissistic and conceited wife would not budge. Yet here you were offering him the one thing he wanted and he couldn't resist. Sitting up, he began pounding up into you with more intensity, sending you crying his name over and over again as his teeth began to mark your neck.

"Oh I'll make sure to knock you up babygirl. Gonna fuck my kids into you...fuck! You're going to look even more pretty carrying my baby in you."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Yours and Yunho's relationship was rather.... unconventional to say the least. He ended up becoming your sugar daddy after you had auctioned off your virginity online cause you were a broke college student and you honestly didn't give a damn at that point. But it was you who were in for a surprise when you met him in the hotel room and he just handed you the money without wanting anything in return.

"Just take it and don't give away something so valuable away like that."

You were so stunned by his behavior and it honestly sent some weird feeling inside you.

"But what if I wanna give it away?" You asked before he could open the door to leave. He let out a deep sigh.

"Trust me, you don't." He insisted.

Biting your lip, you took in his height and built. You weren't going to lie and pretend you didn't size him up from the moment you saw him. He probably had a monster cock that could tear you apart and part of you wanted that. Plus he was probably experienced in making love to someone so why not?

"If it's with you I really do..."

He whipped his back at your words, about to scold you but his words got caught in his mouth when you began to strip in front of him before laying down on the bed, legs spread for him and anxiously waiting for him to touch you. He couldn't resist himself. He ended up pining your tiny and virgin body under him, tearing your hymen apart and claiming you as his. He made sure you were in no pain and he had you cumming more than once. You could say it was an amazing first time.

You spent the rest of the night talking, and you ended up spilling about your economic situation. Perhaps it was pity, perhaps he was high on having taking your virginity, or perhaps he truly felt something for you. Either way you agreed to be his sugar baby, and you don't regret it one bit. Not when you get to have his monster cock in you, and he's not complaining either when he gets to stuff himself in you.

"Fuck! You're still so damn tight my little one... just like the first time."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

He tried to ignore the sound of the shower right behind the door he was leaning in. He had to. He shouldn't try to imagine what was going on in there. But as his eyes closed, he couldn't stop picturing your naked body glistening as the water cascaded down your skin. His hand grazed over his erection, wondering if perhaps you were doing something similar.

Before he knew what he was doing, he slowly and quietly opened the door, the hot steam fogging up the glass doors to the shower but he could still make out your beautiful and young figure. He witnessed as your hand played with your clit, dipping inside your folds as tiny gasps and pants escaped your lips.

"Mr. Kang...." Hearing you murmur his name sent any self-control he had out the window.

He began to strip himself out of his clothes, very slowly and in silence so as to not disturb you. Besides you looked so pretty as you touched yourself, trying to get yourself off at the thought of him. Without taking his eyes off you, he slid the glass door and soon stood behind you in the luxurious and spacious shower. You jumped slightly when you felt familiar hands wrap themselves around your waist, fingertips digging into you. You could never forget his touch, you remembered how those hands felt when they once caught you and saved you from a nasty fall.

You knew it wasn't a dream or fantasy when you felt lips pressing open mouth kisses against the side of your neck and traveled down to your shoulders. You moved your hand away to allow the person behind you to take control, his long and slender fingers finally making your darkest fantasies come true as they penetrated inside you, moving back and forth in an effort to bring you into an orgasm.

Kang Yeosang's deep and husky voice breathed into your ear, sending shivers down your body.

"You don't know how long I've lusted after you..."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

With Choi San it wasn't you seducing him. It was letting him seduce you. Ever since he saw you walk in with your short skirt, applying for a part time job at his bookstore, he had been wanting you, craved your body. And honestly... you fed him in his game.

You would wear even shorter skirts, bending down right in front of him so he could get a glimpse at your scantily clad pussy. Or you'd constantly ask him for help in putting away some of the books that went on higher shelves just so he'd put his hands around you, which he'd often keep there longer than needed. And you loved it.

One day he had been frustrated by you past his limit. Throwing away all decorum, he came up behind you as you arranged some books. You let out a gasp when you felt his hands grope your breasts.

"I've been working you too hard my darling... maybe I should let you take a little break?" You became putty in his hands when he used his satoori tone with you.

You didn't stop him when he lifted your shirt up to your neck, nor when he pulled your breasts out from your bra cups. You just moaned with no shame as his fingers tweaked and pinched at your highly sensitive nipples.

"Fuck you have really soft and squishy boobs. It's like they were made for my hands."

Snaking one hand under your skirt, he was surprised to not only find out that you were practically dripping for him but you were not wearing any underwear that day.

"Shit darling, did you came here hoping I would fuck you?"

You threw your head back as he cupped your heat, rubbing at your clit.

"Yes! Please fuck me Mr. Choi! W-wanna get fucked by you." You begged him, pushing your ass behind you to grind against his very obvious bulge.

He was more than satisfied by your answer. Finally getting your consent, he no longer had to hold back. Freeing his cock which was leaking at the tip, he pushed your skirt up to expose your ass cheeks. Giving each of them a few slaps with his cock, he teased you as he rubbed his bulbous tip along your slit.

"Now my little apprentice, I'm going to show you how a real man fucks a little cunt like yours."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Spotting exactly what you were hoping to find for the night, you approached the older male and sat in front of him. Giving you a little glance, he furrowed his eyebrows as he took in your countenance.

"Aren't you a little young to be in a club like this?" He questioned you.

"Trust me, I'm old enough." You boldly took the glass he had in front of him and took a sip before setting it back down.

He let out a tiny chuckle as you practically drowned almost an entire glass of straight vodka. You had guts, he was giving you that.

"Little lady I'm sure there are more young men your age scattered about waiting for a beauty like you to pay attention to them. So why not go find them?" He suggested.

You frowned at him, a tiny huff coming out from your lips.

"Guys my age are all idiots and little babies. Absolutely nothing fun about them."

You scooted closer to him, your hand coming down to rub at one of his ridiculous thick thighs.

"I prefer men who are more older and..... bigger." You made emphasis on that last word.

The male snorted as he let you continue your little game. He was actually pretty amused and flattered at having a young and attractive girl hit on him.

"Little lady as much as I'd love to take you back to my place and fuck you into my sheets, I'm warning you that I'm into more.... risque and exotic pleasures and honestly....I don't think an inexperienced thing like you could handle it."

The man, whom you soon found out was named Song Mingi peeked your interest even more as he confided in you that little detail. And you were more than happy to indulge in extremely naughty kinks. That's how you ended up in his bed, your hands and feet tied to each of the bed posts, blindfolded, gagged, nipple clamps adorning your perky breasts as your older lover for the night was continuing his abuse on your swollen and red pussy, drawing out orgasm after orgasm out of your body.

"Fuck! Holy shit!" He cried out, grunting in an almost animalistic manner as he pumped his cum all over your body.

Removing your blindfold and mouth gag, he looked for any signs of regret but was instead met with your fucked out face that held a tiny grin.

"Older and bigger cocks are indeed the best."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Working as an exotic dancer, you met a lot of customers and got used to having regulars. But no one got under your skin or made you lose your senses like Jung Wooyoung. Usually you didn't give any special treatment to anyone unless it guaranteed more cash in your garter belt. But there was something about him that had you constantly looking over when he was there. Every time he was watching from the crowd, you made sure every wink, every lip bite or swirl of your tongue was directed at him.

You were thinking about giving up, since weeks passed and he didn't seem to make a move on you or on any of the other girls. Perhaps he was dragged there by his friends since he always sat there idly, no expression whatsoever. When you were told someone payed to have a private show with you, the last person you expected to see was none other than Jung Wooyoung himself, sitting on the couch, a glass of wine on his hand. Pulling out a large bill, he smirked at you.

"One hundred dollars if you take off that top."

His request had your legs wobbling. Since it was a rather fancy and elegant strip club, none of you ever actually stripped completely bare, only staying in scanty lingerie. But honestly, you didn't hesitate and let the top fall to the floor. You loved the way Wooyoung was eyeing your chest, tongue poking out to wet his lip. Reaching into his pocket once more, this time he produced even more bills and layed them on the table.

"500 dollars if you remove that lace thong."

Holy crap, you thought to yourself. That was a lot of money that you weren't going to refuse. And besides, you were already wet for the older man that you would suck him off right then and there if he asked you to, with absolutely no payment. This time his hand began to rub at his crotch. Unzipping his pants, he took his long length out which had your mouth watering and staring for so long that you didn't notice the even larger stash of cash he had taken out of his jacket which layed beside him.

"One thousand dollars if you hop your pretty ass over here and bounce yourself on my cock."

Not needing to be told twice, you practically plunged yourself down on him, not caring to take your time as you began to fuck yourself on his cock. The man underneath you was enjoying himself as well, the visual of your ass clapping against his hips driving him insane.

"Fuck! Yes! Just like that- oh god!"

You let out a yelp when his hand came down to slap your cheeks rather harshly, hips taking control as he rammed his cock into you. Through raspy grunts and growls, he made his final proposition to you:

"Your own place, monthly allowance and anything else you want if you leave this place and become my own personal fuck toy."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Working as the personal assistant for your father's CEO friend was not easy. Not because Choi Jongho was difficult, scary and begrudgingly agreed to have his friend's daughter work for him when she had no experience, but because the man was hot. You had the hots for your dad's friend and knowing you would have to be by his side for 8-10 hours on the daily both thrilled and terrified you.

"Can't you even work a simple printer? Seriously? How stupid could you possibly be?"

You honestly didn't mind his constant insults and degradation. In fact...that's exactly what you wanted, even more if he did it in front of others. Truth was, you did know how to work a printer and do other office related small tasks. You just chose not to just to have him yell and scream at you. His anger further fueled your sexual desires for him.

Eventually he ended up finding out what your little plan was when he chanced upon you sending a fax for someone, something he had always refrained from teaching you cause he thought you'd be too stupid to do.

"Why you cunning little vixen." He clicked his tongue in annoyance as he saw you, angry that a little brat like you was getting under his skin just to get a reaction out of him. He felt his palm start to tremble with an urge to bend you over and spank you into place.

Which he did end up doing, among other things in an effort to get you to behave or straighten up. But it never fully worked since you kept testing his patience, and he truly didn't mind. He liked your little game and he started to look forward to having his little vixen misbehave just to put her back in her place. And you lived for having him punish and degrade you.

"Look at you. You look like a common whore, letting me fuck her little hole as much as I want to."

You whimpered as his hand pulled your hair, making you lift your head and watch from the mirror as he fucked you from behind against his dresser.

"Maybe I should take a picture and send it to your dad. Let him know that his precious daughter is nothing more than a slut that likes getting her tight little hole fucked by his best friend."

You shook at his words, tears steaming down your face from the overstimulation he was putting you through. You absolutely loved it. Loved having him remind you of how wrong and sinful it was. Pressing your back against his chest, he wrapped an arm around your throat as he pounded his cock into you like the beast he was.

"But no... I won't do that. This will be our little secret."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners

[bigwhispersbluebird]

BTS reaction when they are jealous  (Hyung Line)

Author’s Note: I often read a lot of reaction based fics and realize that perhaps my take on it is a little different. So here it goes. Do tell me if you like it or agree or just anything. Also, I am new to this so excuse me for any mistakes. Thanksss

Warnings: None

Seokjin or Jin

He watched from far as a man in his 20s approached you from behind as you finished the call you had excused yourself to attend. Judging from your reaction, he concluded that you knew the guy. Even though he couldn’t hear a word, your comfortable laugh, the way you slightly hit his shoulder while talking and mimicked his body language, Jin felt a weird irk inside him.

Don’t misunderstand, Kim Seokjin was very confident about himself but there was a part of him that often wondered if he was enough. He might be handsome but there were more handsome people around. He was not the smartest or the most athletic and he came with a load of baggage. So much that he couldn’t cross the room to where you were standing and openly declare that you were his gorgeous and brilliant girlfriend.

His thoughts were intruded by the chime of his phone. 

“You okay?”, your text read and he looked up to spot you a few tables away. The young stranger gone now and your eyes only on him. 

“No. I am Jin”, he replied in his usual manner, trying to hide the truth, cracking the worst joke ever in the process and wincing at himself as soon as he sent it.

He watched as you laughed unabashedly as soon as you saw the screen, your eyes glistening and he realized that this laugh was just for him. 

“You must be really in love with me if you laughed at that”, he sent and watched as you read and suddenly the same look overtook your face that he had seen on himself so many times when he was with you. 

He only took his eyes off you when his phone chimed again.

“Of course. Who else would ever compare?”

Yoongi or Suga

This was getting annoying for him. Yoongi would call himself a pretty calm person especially after the ten years of life as an artist had made him immune to almost everything happening around him. But this was getting on his nerves. 

You had walked into HYBE tonight and after just being at Genius Lab for a few minutes, you had asked about Do-Yan and went to seek him as soon as Yoongi told you that he must be in PDogg’s studio. Had it been a one time occurrence, Yoongi wouldn’t even have cared enough to think much into it but after this becoming a routine, he was over it. 

Do-Yan was a talented young producer who was contracted for TXT’s new album. You were heavily involved in the A&R activities of BigHit Music and were actually the person who had discovered Do-Yan. In your perspective, he could be a great asset and while he was just here on a temporary basis, you wished to persuade him to sign him as a BigHit producer permanently. PDogg had agreed with you and now you both were on the task of convincing him to stay. 

Unaware of this all, Yoongi decided to do something about the situation. As he typed the messages to the management team, he knew that this was very petty of him but he was beyond the point of caring right now. 

The next time you asked him about Do-Yan, Yoongi did not look up from his computer as he said, “He has been moved”. 

“What?”, you were shocked to say the least. “Moved? What do you mean moved?”

“He will be working with Bang PD directly now so he will be in the other building.”

“So, he signed the contract?”

Now Yoongi was getting agitated, “Why do you care so much?”, he had turned his seat around and was now only focusing on you. His tone was still calm but inside he was screaming.

Oblivious to the storm inside him you said, “Why wouldn’t I? He must have else he would not have said yes to that since...”, Yoongi was not even listening anymore. 

“He did. I talked to the management myself and got him to say yes”, Yoongi said. His voice low and his back now turned to you. “You can move there as well if you want to see him and care about him so much”.

“You...but you didn’t know”, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in your mind and you scolded yourself mentally for not noticing it yourself. 

“Yoongi”, you called out to him softly as you moved closer to his chair. “Jagiya”, you called again as you kneeled beside his chair, taking his hand lightly in yours. 

“I just wanted him to join the company so I was spending most of my time on that. I am sorry that I did not clear it to you. I’ll make up for all the lost time now that you’ve got it done”. 

Yoongi couldn’t even remember what he was angry about as you placed yourself on his lap, pulling him close to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. 

After a while your phone rang and you announced that you had to go for a meeting. As you inched closer to the door, you remembered something and without even turning around you said:

“I can’t believe you got him moved”

You closed the door behind you but not before hearing his low chuckle.

Hoseok or J-Hope or Hobi 

“I think Yeonjun and I should perform on something more sexy?”, you said with your eyes fixated on his face waiting for a reaction.

His eyebrows furrowed and then as if thinking about it, he immediately turned to you, nodding, “Yes, I think it will work great with both of your stage personalities”.

You were surprised. This was not the answer that you were expecting. You had hoped that he would get jealous like all those TikTok boyfriends. 

But you were not going to be dejected so easily. 

“Why don’t you help with the choreography?”, you suggested, a plan already forming in your head. 

“Y/N, I would have been offended had you not asked me”, he said as he showed off his gorgeous smile.

After a few days when you three started working on the performance, you tried to make Hobi jealous. You would suggest even more suggestive moves but he would just think about them and excitedly agree to them or politely decline saying how it does not fit with the steps. 

He would watch as you danced, concentrated and focused, but unwavering. 

After weeks of this charade, you grew tired and when Yeonjun excused himself to leave for a music show you exasperatedly sighed in front of Hobi who was monitoring the recently shot dance practice video of yours. 

“I don’t think you even care about me”.

“Huh?!”, Hobi was bewildered. “What?!”

“Yeah, you don’t care if I go throw myself in someone else’s arms”, your voice was loud in the empty dance studio. You lowered it again, “you don’t care”.

“Y/N”, Hobi was now closer to you, looking straight into your eyes. “I care. I care a lot. I care that this performance is amazing because this is a great opportunity for you. I care that your steps show exactly how good of a dancer you are. I care and that is why I would never let anybody else do it instead of me”. 

You were surprised. This was not what you were looking for but it was a pleasant difference. 

“And I would care if it was not a performance. I would, I do care if anyone even looks at you in the wrong way but I would never take it out on you. I want you to be able to perform without worrying what I would take it as. I want you to be loved by everyone in the audience”. 

His arms slowly snaked around your waist and under your sweatshirt, “just not the way that I do”.

Namjoon or RM

Namjoon had watched you the entire night, his eyes refusing to leave your figure as you rushed around the venue making sure everything was perfect. 

It was the last concert of the tour and you as the tour manager were adamant on making it memorable and smooth. Double-checking everything, you finally allowed yourself a moment of peace as you saw your boyfriend rehearse his performance for Trivia:  Love. 

Namjoon locked eyes with you, smiling and rapping his lines as if talking to you. Suddenly, you felt the weight of something on your shoulders and you looked away from the stage realizing that it was your assistant, Alan, who had just covered you with his jacket. You smiled gratefully as he extended a hand holding your coffee. 

“You should rest for a while before we meet back for sound check”, he suggested and you looked at your watch to see that he was right. Tonight was going to be hectic and a power nap was definitely needed.

You had not even realized that the stage was now empty and the leader was standing right by your side. His eyes were not on you, but on the man now sitting beside you, glancing at his jacket on your shoulders. 

Shrugging the jacket off, you asked, “Are you done? Any issues?”. 

Not answering your question, Namjoon kept staring at Alan and you felt bad for the poor guy. You asked again and this time Namjoon’s lips turned into a smile, “None, jagiya”. Jagiya?! 

Now you were the one staring daggers at him but he did not waver. Instead, with the same smile plastered on his lips, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, pulling the zipper closer together as he made his way to where Alan was sitting. Alan immediately got up, excusing himself and vacating the seat that now your boyfriend occupied, his hand reaching across your shoulder to pull you into him. 

You resisted. 

“ ‘Jagiya’. Really?! Really, Namjoon?”

He just smiled at that, genuinely this time. “Come on, you know I lose all calm when it comes to you”.

“Calm and senses, both”, you murmured as he laughed and pulled you closer and you let him, closing your eyes and resting before work would call you again.