#the chilis are pretty good if you like spicy food

[blindtaleteller]

...I have this tendency to check notes... and while rarer, I'm still really surprised by the amount of people not aware (even if just through, you know, ..google?) that these not only exist? But yes, as a pepper.. they taste like peppers: not aubergines (eggplant:) and.. there's several breeds of purple pepper, both sweet and hot. 🤣

A purple bell pepper is possible . . . Reblog if you agree

[tetedurfarm]

i promised y'all recipes but i forgor

it's ok im fixing it now tho

anyway. hi. hello. i eat a lot of rabbit. i am also blessed by god to be one of the few, the chosen, the descended from the acadians who were blessed with the ability to cook food that doesn't suck. you can trust me. màmaw cécil's ici.

just a fair warning though these recipes kinda assume you have basic cooking skills, and things are measured with the heart as my ancestors intended.

onward to the recipes

the tried. the true. the rabbit gumbo

one whole rabbit

half an onion

one package of andouille sausage (or other spicy pork sausage)

a bell pepper if you like

some okra if you like

some garlic

a jar of dark roux (savoie's is my go-to)

tony chacherie's

tabasco

filé

a good long-grain rice

debone the rabbit and cut into chunks, or pressure cook until it falls off the bones. you can also cook the rabbit IN the gumbo but this method takes a long time and is a PITA, but you do get all the good rabbit grease in the gumbo.

fill a large stock pot about 3/4 the way up with water and set to boil. add salt until it's salty to the taste. add about five to seven heaping spoonfuls of roux and let it dissolve while the pot comes to a boil.

while you wait, chop the onion and bell pepper into a rough dice and add it to the pot. i'm sure someone's màmaw will tell you what to do with okra, but i don't like it so idk. i just know some people put it in their gumbo. not me tho. tbh i don't even like bell peppers but it's traditional. anyway you can put some garlic in too. and tony's. lots of tony's.

cut the sausage into about quarter inch rounds and throw 'em in too. if you did not precook your rabbit, add it now. if you did precook, you can add it once the vegetables and sausage are cooked. around this time is also when i put the rice on.

once all the meat is done cooking, taste for seasoning and adjust as desired. it should be salty and a little spicy (or a lot, if you aren't a coward.) now all you have to do is wait for the rice to finish.

when everything is done, scoop some rice into a deep bowl (a soup crock is ideal) and pour gumbo over, making sure you get a bit of everything. top with tabasco to taste, and a healthy dash of filé.

some variety of sausage

1 - 2lbs of ground rabbit

soy sauce

garlic rice wine vinegar (if you can't find it, normal RWV works just add more garlic)

rubbed sage

garlic powder

minced garlic (if not using garlic RWV) (or if you just want it)

brown sugar

drizzle a little oil (i like using sesame oil) in a saucepan and put in ground rabbit. as it cooks, cut it up into small chunks with your utensil. once it's cooked, throw in all the rest of the everything and season with salt and pepper and a little msg if you got it. measure with your heart and taste as you go. you are shooting for a sort of savoury-sweet thing going on. it should be closer to a breakfast sausage in taste.

this goes really good in a dumpling, fried into a patty, or turn it into a white gravy with some milk and flour and put it over rice with creamed corn for a nontraditional but still delicious rice and gravy.

german rabbit stew

this one is just a link because someone else made it up but it's real good: https://honest-food.net/german-rabbit-stew/

alfredo mushroom rabbit pasta

roughly one cup per person's worth of cooked, shredded rabbit

as many portobello mushrooms as your heart desires

minced garlic

a jar of alfredo (or make your own i ain't your mom)

your pasta of choice

pretty straightforward. put your pasta on to boil (we like penne.) chop up your mushrooms and sweat them out in a saucepan. when they're cooked enough, toss in the alfredo, the minced garlic, and your rabbit. season with salt/pepper/whatever else you like to taste. when the pasta is done, combine pasta and rabbit mixture and enjoy

just the filling part of pei wei's lettice wraps but on rice instead

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

hoisin sauce

teriyaki sauce

hot chili oil

green onion (grunion)

sesame seeds

short-grain rice

set your rice to cook. when it's almost done, roughly dice onion and set it to cook in a little oil (i like seasme for this.) when it turns translucent, add ground rabbit and garlic. once the rabbit is cooked, throw all the other sauces in to taste. it should be hoisin-forward, a little sweet and savoury. add some cayenne and more chili oil, maybe some gochujang, whatever, if you want more spice. eat it with rice and top with sesame seeds and grunions, i like some shichimi togarashi too sometimes. maybe a lil fried egg if you're feeling sassy.

i made this up from a dupe recipe for a lettuce wrap i liked at a restaurant so you could put it in lettuce too if you wanted. i just don't ever buy a whole head of lettuce.

weird midwestern chili

1-2lbs of ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one large can or two small cans of petite diced tomatoes

1-2 habañero peppers (or none if you're yankee)

some sort of stock or broth, or water and a bouillon cube

chili powder

sometimes corn is nice in this if you have it

pasta of your choice

i use my instant pot for this, but you can do it without one in a normal stockpot, it'll just take longer.

brown the rabbit in a little bit of oil with the pot on sauté. while you wait, chop up the onion, garlic, and pepper. when the rabbit is browned, throw everything else in the pot besides the pasta. pressure cook for about 15-20 minutes.

in the meantime, set a pot of pasta to boil. we like farfalle.

when the chili is done cooking, season further to taste with more chili powder, cayenne, tony's, whatever you like. serve on the pasta. i know, i know, it ain't chili to me either, but that's what my friend's minnesotan family calls it and whatever it is, it's damn good so i forgive them.

rice that is dirty AND ugly

1-2lbs ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic i guess

about four or five rabbit or chicken livers

long-grain rice

tony's

set the rice to cook. brown the livers in some oil until they are just barely not-raw. then blitz 'em up in a food processer until they are mush. while you do this, brown some ground rabbit and onion and garlic if you want it in a saucepan. when it's browned, add the livers and just. stir it all together. if it's too dry you can add stock or some water. does it look horrible? you're doing it right. season to taste once it's cooked through. add in rice and mix. i promise to god it tastes better than it looks.

for bonus points, mush dirty rice into balls and dredge in egg and seasoned cornmeal and deep fry or air fry until golden brown. ta da, your very own boudin balls.

i guess you can also run the mixture into a sausage casing for 'normal' boudin too.

('but what about the gizzards cécil' i have tried for years and i can't make gizzards palatable. they just end up weird and tough and i don't like the texture in the dirty rice. you know how to make 'em work, you go for it.)

mexican meatloaf that is neither mexican nor meatloaf

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one can of petite diced tomatoes

one can of whole corn

one can of pork n beans

(optional can of kidney beans or other bean you like)

taco seasoning

shredded yellow cheese

sour creme

tabasco

fritos

chop onion into a rough dice and put in a saucepan with a little oil. when onion is translucent, throw in rabbit to brown. when meat is cooked, thrown in everything that comes in a can, and the taco seasoning. i use about half a packet, but you can do to taste. once it's cooked, spoon over fritos and top with shredded cheese and sour creme. i like a dash of tabasco too.

absoutely a 'hear me out recipe' but if you like frito pie you will probably like this. most importantly, though, it makes a TON of food and for very cheap. excellent end of the month meal. also idk why it's called mexican meatloaf that's just what my mom called it and i'm pretty sure she made it up herself lol

rabbit jambalaya that makes my ancestors cry

approximately one half a rabbit's worth of shredded rabbit

one can of petite diced tomatoes

andouille or other spicy pork sausage

half an onion

bell pepper if ya like it

celery if ya like it

rabbit or chicken stock/broth

tony's

long-grain rice

if you are starting with a whole rabbit, either debone, chop into chunks, and cook, or pressure cook the rabbit until it falls off of the bone. set your rice to cook.

chop veggies and toss em in a saucepan with a little bit of oil or butter. sauté until soft, then add your tomatoes, broth, andouille, and rabbit. when it's all warmed through, add the rice in and mix. season with tony's, crab boil, cayenne, whatever, to taste. put some tabasco on that bitch before you eat, and enjoy.

(my ancestors cry because i'm cajun and traditionally we don't put tomatoes in our jambalaya. mais c'est bon, escuse-moi les anciens.)

creme cheese rabbit joes or whatever

one whole rabbit

one block of creme cheese

one packet of ranch seasoning

jar of pickled jalapeños

shredded cheddar cheese

your favourite burger bun

we use an instant pot, i guess you could probably do it on a stove if you had to but keep an eye on the liquid levels. pressure cook rabbit with half of the ranch seasoning packet and as much jalapeño juice as you want (it should have a kick.) when meat is tender, remove bones and drain liquid into another container (it makes a great stock if you want something with a little pizzaz.)

turn the instant pot on saute, and then put meat, creme cheese, cheddar cheese, jalapeños to taste, the rest of the ranch powder if you want, and as much jalapeño juice or the stock you just made until it's the consistency you want. it should be pretty creamy and a little gloopy. toast your buns, slop the goop on, and enjoy.

well these are the ones i can remember off top my head/that i actually eat regularly. we also make burgers and stir fry and curry rice and shit too, but those are like...y'know. don't really need a recipe for burgers and stir fry.

go forth and eat your fuckin animals

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Yang: There we go! One Heaping pot of Xiao-Long Hellfire Chili! Anyone else want any?

Weiss: *Distantly* I'm good over here!

Jaune: *Also Distantly* I'm with Weiss one this one! It's already making my eyes water!

Ruby: Three glasses of Chocolate milk prepared, and I double stocked the bathrooms with Toilet Paper! I'm ready!

Blake: Thank you Yang! It smells Delicious!

Ren: I would Like some. Nora shouldn't have any.

Nora: I want some!

Ren: She shouldn't have any.

Everyone who has a bowl takes a bite

Ruby: Hooo! Haaah! hah! That's the same as it always is! *Downs half a glass of chocolate milk*

Yang: Mmph! Perfect! I can never have enough of this stuff! What do you think Blake?

Blake: Hmm. It's certainly got a kick to it, and the Savoriness and saltiness of the Beans and the Beef pull through really well, but ... It could use a little more flavor complexity, and a little hot sauce?

Weiss: I'm Sorry did you say it could use hotsauce?

Jaune: Blake, I don't want to Aura amp you for the next week over a stomach ache!

Ren: *Sweating* I agree with the lack of complexity. It is rather spicy for me however. My tongue is almost going numb.

Ruby: yeah, It's pretty good after your tongue loses feeling.

Nora: *Breaks away from a jug of Syrup* Food! How could you Betray me! *Continues Chugging syrup*

Yang: *Excited* Spicier? You want it Spicier?

Blake: Yes. I think it could also use ... Well, for this flavor profile, maybe some Brown sugar? Cinnamon or Nutmeg or something a little sweet to give some greater variance in flavor- Ooh! Lime juice! Lime juice would be great in this, with a little Lemon or Orange zest? Yeah! A little bit of Sour would do it!

Yang: *Heart eyes* She's Perfect ~<3

[creampuffqueen]

Avatar Yangchen's Favorite Foods

My winter break boredom combined with my chronic writing procrastination have combined to form Yangchen Thoughts at never before seen levels.

AKA, I was doing a bit of research into potential Air Nomad cuisine and suddenly found myself needing to know what Yangchen's favorite foods would be. So here we are.

Most of the foods listed will be primarily of Tibetan origin, considering that is the main cultural inspiration for the Air Nomads. However, because Yangchen spent a large portion of her life in different Earth Kingdom cities, there will be some dishes taken from other cultures as well. I will be providing links to as many recipes as possible! (Note: some of the recipes themselves are not vegetarian, but could easily be modified so to fit with the Air Nomads' vegetarian lifestyles).

Now, when it comes to food, Avatar Yangchen strikes me as someone who prioritizes function over flavor. Obviously she prefers her food to taste good, but she's more concerned with what said food can do for her, convenience-wise. She prefers foods that can be eaten on the go, snacked on while working, or downed relatively quickly. As well, she wants her food to be on the filling side, which lessens the amount of time she has to spend eating. She's quite pragmatic about her food. (Is this a good thing? I suppose that's up to you to decide). Finally, her cooking skills are pretty minimal, so most of her favorite dishes are quite simple to make.

Most of this post will be under a cut because, as per usual, I can never make anything short :)

Butter Tea

This is a very traditional Tibetan drink, and it's one that Yangchen would have grown up drinking. It's actually mentioned in The Dawn of Yangchen! It's a drink she would find very comforting, as well as filling due to it being nearly half butter.

Breakfasts

Tomato Egg Soup

It's quite literally what it sounds like. This is a breakfast dish, probably very common in the Earth Kingdom and/or Fire Nation. It's simple to make, but hearty and warm.

Shom-Dae - Rice Pudding

This is a rice pudding made with yogurt. It can be eaten with fruit as a filling breakfast, or sweetened to be made into a dessert. Yangchen doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, so she prefers this for her breakfast.

Snacks

Bhobi

This is basically a Tibetan burrito. A soft, thin flatbread wrapped around various fillings. Typically these can have anywhere from 3-5 different fillings, consisting of things such as stir-fried vegetables, noodles, eggs, you name it. Yangchen would absolutely be a fan of the versitility, and would likely make these to use up leftovers for a tasty snack.

Shogo Khatsa - Spicy Potatoes

As the name implies, this dish is made up of spicy potatoes. I think Yangchen would actually be a huge fan of spice, and as such would totally love these. She would probably also dip them in Sepen, which is a Tibetan tomato-based chili sauce.

Various Street Foods

Yangchen would love trying local street foods at all the places she visits, but she has a few favorites. Fried tofu, spring rolls, and spicy cucumbers. They're all very easy on the go snacks.

Onion Tingmo

This snack is definitely more of a comfort food. These are a type of steamed bun with green onions folded in, and I think these would be Yangchen’s guilty pleasure; the kind of food she could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Meals

Tenchung - Lentil Soup

The Air Nomads would certainly be fans of lentils, considering their high protein and iron content. This is another very simple soup, but would be very comforting and nostalgic for Yangchen - as well as quite filling.

Mokthuk - Momo Soup

Momos are Tibetan dumplings, which Yangchen would enjoy eating on their own, but when added to a hearty soup the dish is called Mokthuk. As you're probably starting to figure out, I think Yangchen is a pretty big soup fan. Just like in the attached video, Yangchen would load her soup up with chili oil for added spice.

Pishi - Tibetan Dumpling Soup (also known as "Lemur-Face Soup")

This soup is extremely similar to Mokthuk, but the dumplings are made in a different way and more resemble wontons. This dish is often colloquially referred to as "Lemur-Face Soup" by Air Nomad children, as the folded dumplings resemble the faces of flying lemurs. Because the dumplings for this soup require a bit of extra effort, it would have been a rare treat growing up. Yangchen loves it both for the flavor and the fond memories it brings.

Desserts

Tenshi-Bhakthuk

This is a fried pastry covered in a sugar syrup that is typically served at New Year's celebrations. They are small, crunchy little snacks that Yangchen would love eating each year at the celebration.

Bulug

The best way I can describe this is that it's a Tibetan funnel cake. This is also served at New Year's celebrations. When Yangchen was younger, she and her sister Jetsun would always get one of these to split. It's a bittersweet memory now, but she still absolutely loves the food.

----

And there we have it! A whole selection of foods I think Yangchen would enjoy. Feel free to use this in fics, art, headcanons, whatever, and your own as you see fit!

Due to all this research I've done, I also have lots of ideas for foods that could be added to the Air Nomad cuisine as a whole - who knows, maybe that will become a separate post of its own!

Pretty much all recipes came from Palden's Kitchen ; would absolutely recommend checking his channel out! His videos are very high quality and his voice is incredibly soothing, honestly I want this man as my grandfather now.

Finally, I also need to give a shoutout to @atlaculture for providing inspiration and resources for my Tibetan food deep dive!

[biblio-smia]

IDEA

Mike vs. Spicy food

oh how weak i am for white boys

the food you cook isn't spicy. sure, there'll be an occasional chili flake added for a tiny bit of kick, but it's not spicy.

a little bit too much falls out of the container, though, pieces too small for you to recover. but you taste it and still find it mild, so you shrug it off and finish the meal.

the extra spices have no effect on abby, who gets through her entire plate with a shy smile that means she wants seconds. so your clumsiness hadn't ruined the dish; you breathe a sigh of relief.

it's not until mike comes home from work and fixes himself a plate that you worry, his loud coughs and red face sending you into a panic while he downs his cup of water. you think he's choked on his food until he asks how much spice you added - and the worry has dissolved into laughter.

mike doesn't appreciate your teasing, abby coming in to let him know that she had no criticisms of your dish - just to rub it in further.

"i'm not- it's delicious," mike insists, going in for a second bite. he focuses hard on the flavor rather than the way his mouth feels like it's been set on fire, chasing it down with cool water that only temporarily soothes.

"mike, don't force yourself," you chide, moving to take his plate.

"no, no-" mike is interrupted by his own coughing, his own throat betraying him.

you give him a knowing look and move to pull the food towards you; you were planning on eating some more with mike, anyway.

"it really is good," mike insists with a frown.

"it is," you quip. "too bad you have absolutely no spice tolerance."

"hey, i do!" mike scoffs. "i can eat that normally, and that's pretty spicy."

you stare at mike with a grin of disbelief, shaking your head. "mike, it's normally not spicy. like, at all."

mike's expression falls and you burst into laughter.

"okay, okay. can you eat hot chips?"

"don't like them."

"buldok noodles?"

"i think those would kill me."

"is it bad that i kind of want to see that?"

"you're the one who'd lose a boyfriend."

you laugh, loudly. "i can't believe i never knew this."

"okay, i'm not that bad." mike insists.

"worse than abby," you grin.

mike groans, dropping his face into his palms. "you're the worst."

you giggle. "i love you! and am never going to stop making fun of you!"

you pull mike's hands away from his face to give him a gentle kiss on his still-warm cheek. "you're cute."

mike bites back a smile, feigning indifference.

"my family is going to completely destroy you."

mike's smile drops.

bonus:

"think you can handle a bite?" you hold up a small bunch of noodles covered in a dark sauce.

mike scoffs. they didn't look that bad. he nods, moving closer to let you feed him a bite.

he doesn't even get halfway through the bite.

"what... is that?" mike heaves out, racing for the ice cream in the freezer. he's shoving spoonfuls into his mouth as he hunches over the sink, breathing heavily. "it... feels like.... hell in... my mouth!"

mike shakes his head as you laugh, coming up behind him and rubbing his back.

"how can you eat that?" mike's voice is muffled through the mouthful of ice cream, his chest heaving as he tries to collect his breath.

you're having trouble catching your breath, too; all the laughing has winded you. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry," you gasp out, arms encircling mike's waist.

mike spins in your hold, facing you and wrapping his arms around you. "that was a murder attempt."

"you agreed to try!"

mike shakes his head and you reach for his face, wiping a little bit of ice cream residue from his lips. "aww, honey," you coo with a grin.

"you're mocking me."

"i'm not!" you laugh, but you're clearly not convincing. "i'll make it up to you."

mike hums, pressing his face in the crook of your neck. "i guess i accept."

you laugh again, quietly, kissing just under mike's ear softly.

"bland," you whisper softly.

"okay!" mike splits from you, your laughter echoing behind him as he heads to the bathroom. you'd only just caught your breath when you hear mike call:

"that stained my lips!"

masterlist | requests are open!

[starwarsanthropology]

Fuck Canon Tiingilar

i hate the canon tiingilar recipe with my whole heart. Look at this (original source Galaxy's Edge cookbook). This is supposed to be "blisteringly spicy Mandalorian stew or casserole"? This is a mild chicken curry.

It sounds good, but it's not the rich, spicy, flavor-packed mandalorian stew of my dreams.

Let's start by breaking down the etymology of tiingilar.

Tiingilar is broken into 3 parts: Tiin, gi, and lar.

Tiin is an underived form of tiin'la, or coarse.

Gi is the word for fish.

Lar is a bit up in the air; it could be related to laar, for sing (which anyone who's seen someone bite into something spicier than they can handle can understand), or galar, for spill/pour (makes sense for stew), or even olar for "here", which I suppouse could be extrapolated to mean "whatever is here" for a stew which has flexible ingredients.

But the really important bits are the "tiin" and the "gi"! The first chunk of tiingilar means "coarse/rough fish(y)".

The other food word we have with "gi" in it from canon mando'a is "gihaal", (which, hilariously, breaks down into fish-breath), a pungent fishmeal. It's long lasting and stable which means its probably a staple ration food. It sounds like it'd put most people off at first, but given mandalorian tastes prioritize strong flavors (draluram), possibly including pungent flavors, and "richly nourishing" foods (yaiyai) it's probably a pretty common ingredient.

Guess what fishmeal is! A very high protein (typically 50-60%, but up to 70% for some varieties!), nutritionally dense, and coarsely textured! It's used in any cuisines; some is processed for human consumption but I cannot find any sources that use it in food except in research aiming to combat malnutrition (shout out to researchers at the Abeokuta University of Agriculture for being the best resource about fishmeal in food!). Although we can't know that gihaal would be the same as our version of fishmeal (which is normally processed from whole fish), I think that we can assume that mando'ade woudn't be skimping on the inclusion of bone, which include a lot of valuable nutrients, and would make it coarse.

So, gihaal is a pungent, likely coarse fishmeal that is a staple nutritional supplement in, at minimum, field cookery. It would make nutritionally-dense, protein packed, and strongly flavored base for tiingilar. Makes sense linguistically and practically for mandalorians to build their cooking around nutritionally valuable and shelf-stable rations.

Which brings me to the mandalorian values in food! Draluram (bright mouth: intense, bold flavors), heturam (spicy as in heat burning in the mouth), hetikleyc (spicy as in sinus burn), and yai'yai (richly nourishing, which I personally take to mean both nutritionally dense and satiating) are the 4 canon words that express the priorities in mandalorian cuisine.

These values fit in with the inclusion of gihaal as a base for tiingilar, adding yai'yai if not draluram, but where's my spice? Where's my layers of spice, the sharp sinus burn that makes your eyes water and the creeping warmth that leaves you panting and the bright heat and the numbing and tingling sensation at your lips?

Definitely not in that yellow curry recipe.

The inclusion of ginger and cinnamon (from garam masala) are both nice, but think bigger and broader! Obviously, we don't have mandalorian herbs, but add spice with chilies, cayenne, ginger, horseradish, mustard seeds, sichuan pepper! Bring out warming spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, star anise! Highlight the different elements of spice and warmth and flavor with enthusiasm and delight!

As for draluram, I think the pungent flavor of fish is a nice, bold addition to something for a unique flavor, but let's not forget other players. Aliums like garlic and onions are always lovely, but what about citrus? If mandalorians have behot, what's stopping you from adding in citrus juice or peel or some kaffir lime leaves? What about strong bitter flavors from vegetables you choose, like mustard greens or kale, or the rich savory taste of browned meats if you want more protein in your dish?

Yai'yai, we have a good base of protein and fat and nutritional content from the fishmeal, but why not build it out? Add sugar, both to balance flavors and because energy is energy and mandalorians certainly like their sweets. Fats and oils, other meats and proteins, vegetables and carbs. Add nuts, peanut butter, sesame for added bulk and another element of flavour. I want to see an end product that sticks to your ribs, that makes me skip seconds on not because I don't want more, but because I'm full on one serving.

Back to the etymology. Mild chicken curry is not tiin, nor does it have gi. It's fairly yai'yai, got decent draluram, negligible heturam, and no hetikleyc.

Tiingilar with a gihaal base (in irl cooking, any kind of fish base) and heavier seasoning to add multiple kinds of heat would fit all of those categories so much better.

So I guess in the end, I'm saying I don't have an idea of tiingilar as any one recipe, but tiingilar as a general dish that leans into mandalorian food culture and the literal meaning of the word. Maybe it's little gritty and somewhat fishy, but it's a rich and spicy and flavorful meal you can make with whatever on hand as long as you have a handful of staples.

Sources:

Adegoke, Bakare & Adeola, Abiodun & Otesile, Ibijoke & Adewale, Obadina & Afolabi, Wasiu & Adegunwa, Mojisola & Akerele, Rachael & Bamgbose, Olaoluwa & Alamu, Emmanuel. (2020). Nutritional, Texture, and Sensory Properties of composite biscuits produced from breadfruit and wheat flours enriched with edible fish meal. Food Science & Nutrition. 8. 1-21. 10.1002/fsn3.1919.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_meal

https://mandocreator.com/tools/dictionary/index.html# for mando'a translations and definitions

https://www.reddit.com/r/Mandalorian/comments/mp1x7o/recipe_for_tiingilar_medium_heat_add_garlic/ for the recipe

[kaibutsushidousha]

The Hundred Line 1st Impression Session #1

Takumi Sumino

Not much we didn't already know about him before. It's funny how between the original Saihara, Yuma from Rain Code, and Takumi here, Kodaka has repeated what we can "the Saihara archetype" of Kodaka protagonists. I guess that will now be his most utilized protag type, surpassing "the Naegi archetype" (the Naegi siblings and Akamatsu) because Akamatsu only gets one chapter as protagonist. Meanwhile, "the Hinata archetype" (Hinata, Otonashi, and the Death Come True guy) is the most underrepresented due to DR0 and DCT being significantly shorter than his games.

Darumi Amemiya

Another one that was already covered at Tokyo Game Show. Not much new going on aside from the reveal that she's voiced by Farouz Ai (based based based based). She has potential to be great depending on how serious Kodaka wants to be about her manic depression.

One intriguing comment in her gameplay showcase is that Kodaka mentioned her attack animations are based on a Gilgamesh from another series, but he cannot disclose which series this Gilgamesh is from despite both The Hundred Line and the unidentified Gilgamesh's series both being Aniplex productions. Watching the animations, her attack remind me of Boss from Fate/Samurai Remnant, but Boss was never stated to be a Gilgamesh, it's probably not him. I guess it mustn't be from anything I know.

Eito Aotsuki

Komaeda II was also already covered at Tokyo Game Show, but today's display downplayed his Komaedaness and focused more on his pathetic desperation to make friends, and established his place in group dynamics as the one companion no one trusts because he's always making the cheesiest and most fake-sounding friendship speeches. He's also voiced by Sakurai (unbased) which further distances himself from the initial Komaeda impression.

Standout dialogue:

Aotsuki: Right, before discussing that, we need to introduce ourselves to each other. So, what are your hobbies? Any food you don't eat? What's your sign? Favorite manga? What club you're at in school? Do you watch a lot of movies? Play video games? What do your parents work with?

Takumi: Hold on, that's too much to answer at once.

Aotsuki: Huh? Oh... Sorry, good point... I don't really know how to interact with people, as you might have noticed. Sharing self-introductions feels pretty unusual...

Kurara Oosuzuki

Her intro dialogue has her explaining the dumb pun of her name, so I'm already intrigued to see what the localization will do about this one.

The super elite billionaire kid who thinks everyone else is trash is a character type Kodaka already did before with Togami, but they already prove themselves very different in their placement in group dynamics, as Togami is the guy who posed as a killing game player while Oosuzuki is completely invested in supporting the team. Neat stuff.

I hope Kodaka/Komatsuzaki commits to the bit and she never takes off her tomato. Ideally, they never even decided what her canon face looks like.

Ima Tsukumo

I wish authors would stop reinventing Yuri Briar. I already dropped Yomi no Tsugai over this.

CV: Ogata Megumi

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with good voice acting and it won't work.

Ima: Hm, this ketchup & mayo rice soup is banging. The oil levels in the broth rule!

Kako: My rice bowl with chocolate, banana, and chili sauce shrimps is great, too. I can't even tell if it's sweet or spicy.

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with ugly food and it will work. More of this, please. You have a real chance of making me like your creep.

Kako Tsukumo

The other twin. Her special subject is Morality, in contrast with her brother's special subject being Misconduct. We already got the explanation for what Misconduct does in gameplay, so her Morality is the only special subject so far that we know nothing about.

We already have an open statement that her story will be about learning that she can disobey her brother, so that's a plotline with a lot of potential already.

She's also a canonical fan of ugly food and detective fiction, so I can trust completely that if she were real and I hadn't made my Danganronpa V3 ugly food post, she would have done it. Thank you, Kodaka, I feel very personally homaged here.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

which turtle do you think can handle spice? lol i made some spicyx2 ramen for dinner and both my parents asked me if this was food or nuclear war fare, they got scared of how red the ramen broth was lol

Spicy Food (Headcanon)

A/N: The lucky wheel decided on the 03 boys for this one, so here we go💚 I myself am very bad with spicy food, like it's really bad. Like, if the food does as much as touches anything spicy, I can’t eat it. But I think the guys generally would have a way better time handling it💚

--------

Leonardo:

Leo does pretty well with spicy food. He’s used to Splinter’s spicy noodle soup, and was always the angel that ate everything his father made for him, without complaining. Not that he ever complained. According to his taste buds, all of Splinter’s cooking was amazing.

When Mikey started taking over in the kitchen, Leo could not help but find the food a little… What is the right word? Uhm… bland? But don't get him wrong, Leo loves his little brother’s cooking, but he did prefer his father’s addition of spice to the food. It just that feeling in his mouth that reminded him of childhood.

Although Leo is a terrible cook, and has been ordered by his whole family to never touch the stove or the oven, Leo did know how to use the kettle for tea, and the microwave for making leftovers. But he also knew how to make instant cup noodles as a snack, often finding himself gravitating towards the extra spicy once. But even then, he often finds that they aren’t spicy enough, and adds a little more himself.

Raphael:

Raph has a love hate relationship with spicy food. On one hand he loves spicy snacks, but on the other he isn’t a big fan of warm and spicy meals. As a child it had almost caused several meltdowns at the dinner table, back when Raph didn’t have the words to clearly explain to Splinter that the noodle soup was causing him middle discomfort.

Raph could not explain it. It was as if the heat from the food made the spice so much stronger, to a point where he just couldn’t eat it. Even as a teenager and as an adult, he would let the soup cool down for a bit, before finally feeling comfortable enough to eat it.

But funnily enough, Raph LOVES spicy snacks. Chili chips or at least some kind of spicy dip with his chips, and this guy would be happy.

Raph once shared some of his chips with Casey, not thinking they were so strong. But neither Raph or April had ever seen someone run so fast to the fridge for milk, giving Raph a hint that his snacks may be spicier than he first thought.

Donatello:

No one knew for sure, but there was this theory in the Hamato family, that Donnie’s taste buds were immune to pain. Donnie did not seem to care if his food was spicy or not. The important thing for him was that it tasted good, and that the texture didn’t make him run for the hills.

Leo had long speculated that it came from years of caffeine addiction, but that did not explain how seemed to have shown the same behavior, years before he even tried coffee for the first time. Spicy food just didn’t bother Donatello.

With that being said, it’s worth mentioning a time where Donnie’s spice tolerance really came to show. One day, an absolutely sleep deprived Donnie had made himself a cup of coffee, but in his sleepy state, he had added hot sauce to his drink, instead of the milk. The horror on his brothers’ faces when he took a sip, and went as far as to say that it even tasted better than usual, before he went back to work in his lab.

Michelangelo:

Mikey had never been a picky eater, but if there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was spicy food. It had been like that since… pretty much forever. Sure, Mikey could eat mildly spicy things, but he just had a taste for more sweet things.

Mikey’s food making was therefore obviously less spicy than Splinter’s. But just because his food was less spicy, it didn’t make it any less good. Mikey’s cooking was amazing, even if Leo seemed to miss the good old days, where his mouth was about to burn off.

But Mikey’s mild intolerance for spicy food, gave Raph a great opportunity for a prank. One day while Mikey wasn’t looking, Raph added one of his spicy chips to Mikey’s already opened bag of salty chips. The scream that followed when Mikey then unexpectedly bit into that one chip, was so loud that people on the street above looked around in confusion. It was no surprise that all of Donnie’s milk suddenly disappeared after that, having been drunk by a hysteric Mikey that desperately tried to kill the fire in his mouth.

[jellyfishandry]

Platonic soulmates w/ Katsuki Bakugo Pt. 1

Part 2

CW: Aroace Katsuki, platonic relationship, not a soulmates au, gn reader, platonic bkdk (sorta), food

A/N: I had to split this up cause apparently I wrote to much, and if I try to post it all at once, it wont let me.

It takes a long time, and a lot of patience to become a close friend of his. But he honestly really appreciates having someone close to him that he can tell pretty much anything.  He insults you and calls you names as he would with anyone else, but he really doesn’t mean them.  He think it hides how much he cares for you, but to everyone around you, the favoritism is very obvious.  Kaminari probably complains about it, but that just makes Bakugo yell at him, telling him that everyone is equally annoying. You’re also the only one who can get away with insulting him or being rude to him (jokingly or lightheartedly) without being blown up. He’s the kind of person where you’ll ask him to do something, and he’ll say “no, fuck you.” and then do it anyway.  If he’s cooking something, he’ll make it super spicy, and laugh at you when you say it’s too spicy. But on some occasions he will cook something and add just enough spice so you can enjoy it, but not have your mouth on fire.  And he’ll cover the excuse with something like “we didn’t have enough chili oil.” or something like that. He’s not a great baker, but will willingly help you when you do bake. When you rant about the things you like, he listens whole heartedly, and once and a while he’ll get you a gift related to your interest.  He fully believes that you’re the best person in the world, and sometimes he’ll brag about how he “knows” (he’s too embarrassed to admit how close you two are) someone that’s way better than who he’s bragging to is. If you decide to start calling him by his first name, he’ll get a little embarrassed, but he loves it.  He also might return the gesture and call you by your first name instead of the random nickname he normally calls you. And he genuinely cannot imagine a world without you.  You’re one of the few people in his life who he can truly rely on. His parents and Izuku being the only other people he has that kind of connection with. He’s not good with his feelings, and he’s immensely grateful when you’re patient with him, and let him express them in the way he feels comfortable.  The topic of the two of you dating has come up a few times, and every time he seems disgusted with the idea. You know romance isn’t something he’s interested in, and you understand that. You see him as a friend, and nothing more. So you also openly deny the idea of being in a romantic relationship with him.

|| Navigation ||

[mik3stuff]

Local burger lover Mike,what do you think the Spiderband's favorite kind of burgers are🤨🙏🏼🎤?

First of all I will pass on purchasing this title non-ironically, thank you very much. Second YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE OH MY TITAN I'LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS ASK

All of them, no exceptions, will always prioritize artisanal burgers over big franchises like BK or McDonalds and this is just canon we're on the same page about it right?

Mirassol likes a good old chimi but she's also super into a classic brie cheeseburger, Miles G loves chimi too but prefers a spicy double burger

Gwen is a huge burger lover (she likes it especially when Hobie's mom makes 'em) and her and Hobie have a shared favorite for pizza burgers but her second option would be a big chicken burger or a bacon burger

Hobie as I said before highly prefers pizza burgers, they're his favorite and just like Gwen he'll eat any type of burger his mama makes cuz his mama is great and her food is too but scrawny as he is once in a lifetime he'll eat the whole thing. He always shares his with his friends but they're now making him eat more and soon enough he'll be just fine with eating one entire burger (angst material prob)

Pavtir's is probably a spicy Indian lamb burger and Gayatri's since I headcanon her as vegan i believe that would be a veggie indian-style burger (I've seen some pretty mouthwatering recipes recently so I had to add this)

Peni likes a chili burger with wasabi ketchup

Ganke is a burger addict too and his favorite is a nduja burger but he also loves a vegan cheeseburger (my boy is lactose intolerant)

My sweet girl Margo <3 she's a monster when it comes to eating fast food you look at this cute little girl and think "she ain't eating that much" but she is and she'll steal some bytes (haha humor) from her partner's. She likes to say she doesn't have a favorite and if you insist she'll probably say something basic like a classic burger but she loves your good old bacon burger and I would like to say it's her personal fave

Bonus Mike likes a double cheeseburger but he hates cheddar (also a lactose intolerant but since is it holding anyone back right? He's allergic to cats but had four and got adopted by Nora who counts as at least three and this is totally not me just dumping random facts about me at my oc's)

I really hope these are in character lmao, tried adding cultural rep without making it sound stereotypical but idk. Also please feel free to add your (Summer's or anyone else reading this) spidersona favorite burger 💗

[lady-of-endless]

One Piece fragrance/scent headcanons

Including: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usop, Law, Kid, Killer, Ace, Smoker, Doflamingo, Corazon, Shanks, Mihawk, Sir Crocodile, Buggy, Katakuri, Bartolomeo.

Author's Note: taking a small break from matchups to post those headcanons. I'm a perfume enthusiast and this post is very dear to me. In case you need to get a better idea of the examples, I recommend using the site fragrantica to see all the notes of each perfume. WARNING: Long post.

Monkey D Luffy

He doesn't really bother with perfume but he notices Sanji's and he likes the idea. However, Luffy would go for something that resembles some food, of course, something sweet. Gourmand perfumes work the best for him and for how affectionate he is towards everyone.

Examples:

- Milk by Commodity - The name says it all. It smells like sweet milk with an aromatic and ambery base to make it a bit more than just straight-up milk.

Roronoa Zoro

He doesn't really like the feeling of perfume on his skin when he's training or fighting. However, if he has to choose ( because Sanji told him he stinks), he'll go for something fresh, or something that grounds him that anchors him in a memory that motivates him.

Examples:

-Bleu de chanel - Fresh and woody, simple as that, great for training and slicing up some bad guys.

-Matcha Meditation by Maison Margiela OR Blue Tea by The Merchant of Venice - Those smell like a fresh blend of green tea, something that brings him a memory of his past training.

Vinsmoke Sanji

Of course, he wants to smell good, he says that perfume is a part of an outfit. Goes for attention-grabbing perfumes. However, he only puts on perfume after cooking! He needs to smell the food without any other olfactive distractions. He takes a little pride in how good he smells and he should. Also, he's the one to really pronounce the names with the right accent (If the perfumes are French).

Examples:

- Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier - This one is popular for a reason. It's both sweet, warm and also aromatic and fresh. Plus that lavender note makes you even more drawn to the comfort of his embrace.

- Sauvage by Dior (I know everyone is tired of this one but you have to admit it smells good) - A bit more mature and serious than the first one. It's elegant with bergamot, pepper, wood, and of course, that lavender again so you won't forget his embrace.

Usopp

He wants to smell all cool and great. Can you blame him? Absolutely not. He's going to ask Nami for a recommendation.

Examples:

- Gucci Guilty pour homme - This one is edgy and unique. It's both soft from rose, orange blossom and daring from red chili pepper, salt, and cedar. He gets creative when wearing this one.

- Invictus by Paco Rabane - The name and the bottle won him. Luckily, he likes how it smells. It's much simpler than the other one. It smells fresh, marine, woody, salty.

Trafalgar D Water Law

Not a big fan of fragrances on him, much like Zoro. He thinks it's distracting because of how some smells can evoke memories and feelings. So he'll only wear a basic, masculine scent with nothing striking as unique. He just smells clean, fresh, aquatic.

Examples:

- Kenzo Pour Homme by Kenzo - Sea Water, some white florals, and then musk and vetiver. It is both clean and comforting.

- When The Rain Stops by Maison Margiela - Pretty self-explanatory, it smells like morning rain in a foggy forest. It has pink pepper in the beginning to give some spice to that, it can't be just a perfume that simple though.

Eustass Kid

Here's an interesting scent. Kid's scent usually consists of metal from his prosthetic and from fixing things in his workshop plus something fresh and spicy.

Examples:

- Luna Rossa Carbon by Prada - It's fresh enough to keep him going, metallic, and somehow spicy from the pepper. An edgy perfume. He doesn't care if others like it or not.

- La Vierge De Fer by Serge Lutens - This one is also metallic but slightly more softer because of some white florals. He might wear this when he feels a little more at ease.

Killer

He doesn't go for a bold perfume but he truly wants something unique. He's a man of action so he'll want something that will persist and will be close to his skin.

Examples:

- Phantom by Paco Rabbane - A unique creamy lavender with energizing lemon and hot woody vanilla. Simple notes that become more complex in this combination.

- Most Wanted by Azzaro - Kid got this one only because he liked how the bottle looked but he thought it was too sweet for him. He ended up passing it to Killer who liked it more.

Portgas D Ace

You already know this man smells like fire, spice, and sweetness. Besides, his skin often smells like the sun during summer, like a sunny day on the beach, I don't know how to explain it. However, someone has to teach this man how not all perfumes are all season.

Examples:

- By the fireplace by Maison Margiela - sweet and smokey. It smells like cuddling with someone right next to the fireplace, and that's how it feels when you hug him.

- Under the stars by Maison Margiela - less sweet. Leather, fresh spicy, ambery.

Smoker

He thinks he should smell like something else besides smoke from time to time. Smoker likes to have his coat smell good and he likes to put on perfume right after a shower. He goes for clean masculine fragrances but with a twist.

Examples:

- Blue Moon by Killian (God damn this one is so hot I can't) - fresh citrus, spicy ginger with vodka and musk for a clean dry down.

- Cool Water by Davidoff - It smells like sea water, fresh mint, tobacco of course, and musk again.

Doflamingo Donquixote

Of course, this devil of a man wants to smell expensive and most of all seductive. He's picky with his fragrance. Doesn't get the notion of perfume for different seasons, he'll straight up wear a heavy, sweet, scent even during summer. He doesn't care. He might have a preference for catchy names.

Examples:

- Fucking Fabulous by Tom Ford - This one is sharply aromatic at first and then gets to a seductive vanilla with leather and bitter almonds. Might be smooth and pleasing to some while headache-inducing to others.

- One Milion by Tom Ford - This one fills the room, exactly how he wants. It's a bit aggressive because of the white flowers, salt, leather, and pine. Sweet but sharp.

Rosiante Donquixote (Corazon)

He tends to go for sweeter perfumes as he wants to balance out the cigarette smell that clings to him that might be repulsive to some (not me honey). However, he wants that perfume to be a subtle one that almost gets noticed, he's in disguise after all.

Examples:

-Tobacco Vanille by Tom Ford - he had to go for the same designer as his brother so as not to seem suspicious. It's simply a warm vanilla smell with notes of tobacco.

- Smoking Hot by Killian - Another smokey and sweet perfume but more complex. Its sweetness comes from fruits this time and it's accompanied by spicy cinnamon.

(also, the name is way too fitting)

Shanks

Everyone who knows Shanks will say that this man smells so damn inviting and warm. He wears something slightly sweet, just slightly, because he feels the most comfortable. Plus, of course, something boozy.

Examples:

- Angel's Share by Killian - It smells like his cognac, cinnamon, and oak, plus mouth-watering praline and vanilla. No one can resist this one

- Stronger with you by Giorgio Armani - It's like a warm hug that might turn into something more. It's warm, spicy, and sweet.

Dracule Mihawk

An elegant man with a unique taste in clothes, drinks, books, and weapons surely has a unique preference for perfumes as well. He uses something that would go along with his whole aesthetic. He leans more to floral and slightly boozy (wine) notes.

Examples:

-Bloody Wood by Liquides Imaginere - Another self-explanatory one. This is how a vampire would smell, mysterious and romantic. It has red wine, rose and violets, and sandalwood. It's so incredibly enigmatic.

- Side Effect by Initio - This one is heavy. Masculine spicy vanilla with saffron, rum, and jasmine for elegance.

Sir Crocodile

Another fine man with fine taste. Be sure that he's educated in perfumery as well. He has perfumes for different occasions. He might be the one out of all that smells the best. He likes intoxicating perfumes that aren't nauseating but plain seductive.

Examples:

- Herod by Parfums de Marly - This one smells like old money. Warm spicy cinnamon, tobacco, incense, and vanilla. Pretty heavy but so good.

- Black Orchid by Tom Ford - A truly alluring and mysterious smell. It's still warm and also earthy and woody.

Buggy

He likes to smell risky, let's say. Both are risky and alluring. He likes a tricky perfume that is sharp in the beginning and more alluring in time.

Examples:

- Ultraviolet by Paco Rabane, for men - It's an unusual mix of scents. It starts somehow fresh and aromatic from mint and then it gets spicy from pepper and in the end, you get seductive vanilla with moss. This one is clearly not for everyone but anyone can agree that it smells unique.

- Toy Boy by Moschino - This one is also a confusing scent because it starts musky and floral and then it goes into spicy wood and citrus. Definitely not everyone's cup of tea.

Charlotte Katakuri

To put it simple, all of his scent is concentrated on his scarf. It smells like clean musk because he often cleans it and the sugary sweetness from all those donuts he eats. It's a nice smell but a bit nauseating.

Examples:

- Vanille Fatale by Tom Ford - Sweetness with some wood in there to balance it out in case you get too close for comfort.

- Vanilla Sex by Tom Ford - Straight up smelling like a sweet spicy snack that you can't get enough of.

(its name though and Katakuri...ok I'm done talking)

Bartolomeo

He'll try to find out what each Strawhat perfume is wearing or at least copy that scent. But he only picks up those he likes. Jokes aside, he kind of likes smelling overpowering when he gets ready for a fight and warm, and sweet when being around dear ones he admires.

Examples:

- Allure Homme Sport by Chanel - for when he feels bold and ready to fight. Mandarin, mint, pepper, and in the end victorious sandalwood, cedar, musk.

- Black Phantom by Killian - For when he meets his dear ones, to be perceived as pleasant, and friendly. It's sweet but dark chocolate sweet with a bit of rum and coffee, almonds, and vetiver to balance everything.

[loonarmuunar]

I have swollen gums rn, but the problem is I loooveee pickled jalapeños and I know it’s gonna be Painful but I desperately want to eat one. So. EE characters spice tolerance

Molly: she’s pretty good. Not anything remarkable, but she can take some heat.

Giovanni: he’s standard, but he absolutely overestimates himself. He’ll confidently chug hot sauce and immediately regret it.

Sylvie: will die. He was curious as a little kid, licked a little bit of chili flakes, and self destructed. He knows he’s terrible and is too embarrassed to admit it.

Indus: he’s good! Like REALLY good. He doesn’t make it into a challenge like some people do. He prefers milder spice, but can easily take pretty hot stuff. He loves to cook, and tries to incorporate spice in different ways.

Mera: higher tolerance than average. She likes chili oil and is really happy whenever Indus incorporates it into his cooking. Girl cannot cook for the life of her, he has to do it.

Ramsey: not the best tolerance but he doesn’t really care. Likes a little kick in his food, but honestly it doesn’t matter to him.

Percy: I’m torn. On one hand Percy is the human equivalent of whitebread. On the other hand. Hot sauce water.

Zora: INSANELY GOOD TOLERANCE. Eats Carolina Reapers for fun. Absolutely makes spice a competition. You ate a ghost pepper? Well SHE ate SEVEN of them!

Yoomtah: She is SIGNIFICANTLY better than Zora and it pisses her off to no ends. Yoomtah is in constant search to make the most unhinged spicy concoctions she can, not as a point of pride but just to see how it tastes. Yoomtah is not limited by the nature of the human body she’s just That Strong. She could canonically eat asbestos, live, and I would not be surprised.

Naven: look at him. He eats a grain of salt and his body goes into shock.

Rick: okay at first? Horrible. He couldn’t eat black pepper without coughing. But he got better later on. Not GOOD, but better.

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Part 33

Whooooooweeee it's be a very long time! I'm so sorry it took so long to write this! I've been having a hard time feeling motivated but it's past the New Years and I decided that I need to end this story shortly. Story isn't done quite yet, but there are only a few more chapters! I hope you all had a beautiful holiday season and New Years! I know I did. Enjoy the chapter!

Quick note: Danny Masterson has been imprisoned and now Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are under fire and now being cancelled apparently. Not a good start of the year for anyone.

June 1, 1979

Point Place, Wisconsin

Forman/Hyde Residence

Eric Forman’s Kitchen

“Hey, you two, how was your doctor’s appointment?” Kitty asked as she was stirring a hot pot of chili on the stove.

“Ugh,” Y/n groaned and plopped down on the chair at the table.

“The doctor says she can pop any day now,” Hyde answered for her and opened the fridge for a drink.

“Awe, sweetheart, you must be so uncomfortable,” Kitty said.

“I am. I’m so sick of being pregnant,” she whined. “I’m tired, my ankles are fat, my back hurts and—Steven! Will you please stop breathing down my neck?!”

“Uh,” he replied from the counter, no where close to her. “I’m over here.”

Y/n whined again. “I’m so sick of being pregnant.”

“The doctor said there are a couple things we can do to induce labor,” Steven said and pulled out a list. “She said we can try spicy foods, long walks, castor oil—”

“Don’t forget what she said could be more effective,” Y/n cut in.

Steven gave her a stoney look and put his hand on his hip. “I’m not saying that.”

“Why not? She’s a nurse she hears this stuff all the time! Besides, she’s gone through this as well!”

“What? Tell me what?” Kitty asked.

“No, I’m not saying it!”

“Steven!”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, tell me what?!” Kitty cried out.

“The doctor said sex can be the most effective to induce labor,” Y/n blurted out.

“Y/n, what the hell?!” Steven said, embarrassed.

“Oh,” Kitty said lowly and dropped her gaze back to the chili, almost uninterested. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you got to say?” Y/n asked.

“Honey, it’s pretty clear that you wouldn’t be pregnant if you and Steven hadn’t…you know…”

“Okay!” Steven interrupted. “As nice as this conversation is, I gotta get to work.”

“Okay, fine, but—Mom, cover your ears—we’re doing it later!” Y/n shouted after him as he slammed the door shut, hoping to drown out that last part.

“Well, isn’t that lovely,” Kitty mumbled and poured herself a cup of chili. “Y/n, on a more appropriate topic, do you want some chili?”

“Hey, guys,” Eric introduced himself as he entered the kitchen. “Great news! I’m on my way to becoming a teacher. I filled out all my college application with red pen.” He giggled to himself. “That’s a teacher joke.”

“Well, now look at him!” Red announced as he walked through the kitchen door. “Out of bed and productive before three o’ clock.”

“Honey, you’re like a marine!” Kitty said cheerfully.

“A marine?” Y/n asked. “The only time I ever saw him storm a beach was when he was running away from a jellyfish!”

“Damn, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?” Eric quipped.

“If I could get up, I’d kick your ass for saying that,” Y/n threatened, sighing, and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the pain in lower back starting to intensify.

“Yeah, anyway,” Eric said and turned back to Red. “Hey, dad, all I need from you now is a financial statement so the school can see where I'm getting the old moola.”

“Oh, well, you see about that…” Red mumbled, nervous. “I, uh...I spent your college money to keep the muffler shop going.”  

“What?!” the twins shouted.

“You spent our college fund?!” Y/n continued.

“Why do you care?” Eric asked her. “It’s not like you’re going to college anytime soon. You don’t even know what you want to study.”

“Who says I don’t?” she asked. “I decided that I’m going to study biomedical engineering. Beat that, teach.”

“You’re going to study biomedical engineering?!” Kitty asked excitedly. “I knew you were going to take after me in the medical field!”

“Except the difference is she’ll be helping advance technology in the medical field instead of having to wipe people’s butts and administer them their IV’s,” Red said.

“Is that what you think I do all day?” Kitty asked, offended.

“Uh…” he whipped back to Y/n who was looking up at him with an amused smile. “Good job, kitten. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you,” she responded. “It would mean more if we had our college money!”

“Dad, how are we supposed to pay for college?” Eric asked.

“Look, with this damn mild winter, nobody's muffler rusted,” Red said. “I tried to rust them. I even went out at night and sprinkled salt all over the streets!”

Kitty squinted at her husband. “Not my good kosher salt!”

Red looked at his wife with a deadpanned look and rolled his eyes. “Yes, Kitty, I sprinkled the streets of Point Place with your half-pound bag of salt.”

“Wait. Mom, you knew about this?” Eric asked. “And you just said, ‘Please, go ahead. Take my son's college money and use it on a muffler shop?’”

“No,” she responded. “I think your father asked me if I thought you two would amount to anything, and I said, ‘I really, really hope so.’ And then he said, ‘I'm spending the twins’ college money on my muffler shop.’ And then I made the best blueberry cobbler I have ever made."

“Man, that was good,” Y/n reminisced. “I remember that cobbler. I always wondered why, when I said it was so good, you said, ‘At least I can give you this,’ and started to cry.”

“So, the upshot is, I have absolutely no money for college,” Eric said and puckered his lips in deep thought. “Looks like I’m going to have to use that football scholarship that was offered to me.”

“Oh, Eric, we should go talk to Mr. Bray!” Y/n suggested.

“Our old guidance counselor?” he asked.

“Finding money for college is what high school guidance counselors do.”

“I don't know about Mr. Bray. I don't think he really liked me,” Eric said. “One time I told him I was being bullied, and he just said, ‘What'd you expect?’"

“I’ll go with you,” Y/n said. “Mr. Bray loved me…in almost entirely appropriate ways.”

“Yeah…we’ll go,” Eric said, a little concerned.

“Okay, now that we got all that settled, we should celebrate!” Kitty announced.

Y/n scoffed. “Sure. With what?”

                                             --Later that day—

“Hey, don’t forget about the Led Zepplin concert next Friday,” Eric reminded his friends as they all sat in the basement.

“How could I forget?” Hyde asked. “It was the greatest bribery I’ve ever had.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at them.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Hyde. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing," she sighed, eyeing the TV and rubbed her belly.

“No, no you don’t get to do that just because you’re pregnant,” he pushed. “I know you, what’s wrong?”

“Awe, Steven, that’s really sweet,” Jackie said and turned to Markus. “When he and I were together, he wouldn’t even be bothered to ask me what was wrong. It didn’t even faze him.”

“To be fair, you’re always bothered by something,” Hyde quipped. “It was something new every day. I stopped keeping up after a while.”

“I am not!” she argued and turned to Markus who gave her a look. “Okay, maybe I was, but I’ve changed! The other day, I walked by a shoe sale and wasn’t upset that they didn’t have this beautiful shoe in my size. See? Growth.”

“Sure,” Hyde mindlessly and turned back to his wife. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“I’d rather not talk about it in front of our friends,” she responded.

“So, you guys can make out in front of us, even get caught doing it, but expressing why you’re upset is where you draw the line?” Donna pointed out.

“Yeah, spill it!” Fez demanded.

Y/n paused before sighing through her nose. “I don’t think you should go.”

“What?!” Eric shouted.

“Why?!” Hyde asked, appalled. “Why don’t you want me to go?”

“Well, I could go into labor any day now and I’d hate for you to miss the birth of your children for a concert,” she explained calmly.

“Y/n, your due date is on Monday. The kids will be here a full five days before the concert. I think it’ll be okay.”

“What if they’re not here by then? They can be late, you know,” Y/n pointed out.

“Come on, don’t do this,” Hyde said. “Don’t make me choose.”

“I shouldn’t have to make you!” she burst out. “You should know what comes first! Not some stupid concert!”

That made the group audibly gasp.

“What?! What I say?!” she asked them.

“You take that back!” Eric said, his voice wobbly.

“Blasphemous!” Kelso shouted.

“How dare you?” Fez asked under his breath.

“Oh, come on you guys, you can’t be serious,” she said. “Are you telling me my giving birth isn’t as important as some band?”

Everyone was quiet for a minute, filling Y/n with rage.

“It’s Led Zepplin,” Fez said quietly.

“Seriously?!” Y/n screeched and stood up. “You’re all going to leave me here all alone?!”

“I’m not going to the concert,” Markus piped up. “I’ll be here for you.”

She turned to everyone else. “Thank you, Markus. Maybe if I have boys I can name one of them after you!”

This made Jackie gasp. “How dare you?! I thought we agreed on Jack or Jackie!”

“I agreed to nothing!” Y/n argued. “You just assume because you think everyone caters to you, but you can’t be bothered to return the favor! The person who helps me deserves the credit.”

“What--?! That is not true!” Jackie shouted.

Everyone around her scoffed.

“C’mon, Jackie,” Donna said, side-eyeing her.

Jackie spun around to her boyfriend. “Markus! Aren’t you going to say something?”

He shrugged. “Sorry, babe, I have to agree with Y/n on this one.”

“Oh, you are in so much trouble!” she screeched.

Y/n clapped her hands and stomped her foot, gaining their attention. “Guys! Really? I thought that after we’ve all been through, you would want to be there for the birth of your nieces or nephews.” She turned to Hyde. “Or your children.” When no one responded, Y/n scoffed, hurt. “You know, what? I don’t care what you guys do. Go to the concert. Have fun.”

She didn’t let them get another single word out before she quietly walked upstairs to her room.

Once the door slammed, Donna turned to the group. “You guys, I feel really bad.”

“Yeah…I’d be pissed too if I couldn’t go to the concert,” Kelso said casually, opening a popsicle.

“No, you moron! That’s not why she’s upset!” Hyde said, irritated.

“Well, what does she expect us to do?” Eric asked. “Those tickets were a lot and it’s not our fault that the concert falls around the same time of her due date.” When he caught Donna glaring at him, he shrugged his shoulders. “What?!”

“You’re an ass,” Donna said. “I don’t think I want to go anymore.”

“Oh, come on! You have to go,” her boyfriend said. “She may not even have the kids on the day of the concert. It would be such a waste if we didn’t go.”

“Wow, Eric,” Donna said bitterly. “You’re being incredibly insensitive.”

“Okay, let’s say the babies come before the concert. No harm, no foul, amiright?” Eric asked.

“That’s if Hyde wants to go,” Markus responded. “When my sister and her husband had my niece, they were up pretty much three days straight and the last thing they wanted to do was go to a noisy concert.”

“Well, I think she’s being a little dramatic and honestly—quite selfish,” Kelso said. Everyone turned to look at him, finding himself cringing when Hyde gave him a death glare. “What?! She is!”

“She has a point, Michael!” Jackie defended. “No matter how mean and unfair she was to me.”

“You’re telling me that we might miss her birth is an overreaction?” Donna questioned him.

Kelso nodded and shrugged. “Well…yeah!”

“Unbelievable,” Donna said curtly as Hyde slugged Kelso in the arm.

“Ow, Hyde! What the hell?!”

“Keep talking crap about my wife Kelso and you’re going home with more than a bruised arm,” he threatened.

“Damn, sorry I said anything,” Kelso whined while rubbing his sore shoulder.

“You should be,” Hyde said and made his way towards the stairs. “I’m going to go talk to her.”

He took two steps at a time as he followed his bride.

Y/n laid there in bed, glaring at the ceiling. Scenarios of possibilities wouldn’t stop dancing in her head about the day she would give birth while her supposed loving husband was at a concert.

She felt a very wet sensation run down her leg. As she looked down, she noticed that her water had broken, and it wasn’t long until the pain of contractions came along.

“Steven!” she cried out in pain. “Steven, the babies are coming!”

“Oh, really?” he asked, barley looking up from putting his jacket on. “This is inconvenient. Can you wait until I get back from the concert?”

“What?!”

“Look, the babies are important, but…Led Zepplin,” he replied, stepping backwards towards the door. “Just hold those kids in for me! Love you, bye!”

Y/n sneered at the thought, but her mind continued to race.

Smoke, heavy bass, and body sweat filled the air as the group, minus Y/n, head banged their way through each song of Led Zepplin.

“Hey, Hyde, isn’t Y/n giving birth right now?” Donna shouted through the noise, wide smile on her face.

“Yeah, but this is more important!” he shouted back.

“Yeah, to hell with her!” Eric shouted. “Led Zepplin is way more important!”

“Yeah, she’ll be fine,” Steven said. “We can always have more kids that I’ll probably end up being there for the birth!”

Tears started to well in her eyes. “Jerks.”

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

“Y/n?” Steven asked as he poked his head through their shared bedroom door.

She quickly grabbed for her pregnancy book on the nightstand and pretended to be reading.

“Doll, can we talk?”

“About what?” she mumbled.

“You know what.”

“I think you made up your mind, so there’s no point,” she said, staring at the page.

“No, no that’s why I wanted to come up here,” he replied. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Don’t be.”

“Y/n, can you please look at me?” he asked her and took the book from her, only to see tear streaks down her face. “Awe, Doll…”

She couldn’t stifle her sobs anymore as she broke down. “You love Led Zepplin more than me!” She shoved her face into a pillow.

He didn’t know if he should laugh or groan. “Y/n, come on, you know that’s not true.”

“No, it is!” she continued to wail. “I’m going to go into labor and you’re not going to care!”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. “You know that’s not true.”

“You won’t even help me go into labor!” she whined.

“I’m not going to sleep with you just so you can go into labor,” he deadpanned.

Y/n sat up and wiped at her face. “C’mon, Steven, I’m miserable here! The babies will be fine. It’s doctor recommended!”

“We haven’t even tried the others yet,” he said calmly.

Her face contorted again, fat tears rolling down her face. “You don’t find me attractive anymore!”

“I never said that!” Steven couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Then why won’t you make love to me?!”

“First, don’t say it like that ever again. And second: it has nothing to do with my finding you attractive.”

“Then what is it?” she wept.

“It’s…it’s nothing.”

This made her stop crying immediately and glare at him instead. He almost missed her crying. “What a load of crap!”

“C’mon, Y/n, don’t make me say it.”

“No, you’re gonna!” she demanded. “I want to know why you won’t have sex with your wife to help her go into labor!”

Steven tilted his head back at and stared at the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he groaned before looking back at her. “It’s weird, okay? I’m going to be doing you knowing that the babies are…right there. Knowing what’s going on.”

Y/n scrunched her eyebrows at him. “The babies are in my uterus, not in my, you know, hoo-ha.”

Steven found himself chucking at her euphonism. “What if I hurt them?”

“Like I just said, they’re farther up there than you can reach.”

“Ouch.”

She laughed and placed her hand on his arm. “Trust me, that’s something to be proud of.”

He laughed with her and kissed her.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said, catching his attention. “If I go into labor before the concert, by all means, go. But if I don’t by Friday—you don’t. What do you think?”

He tilted his head to the side, thinking before nodding. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Okay, good,” she smiled at him as he leaned down to kiss her.

“How bout we try now?”

“Now you want to? Because of a concert?!”

“No, more so now I know I won’t hurt them or make it as weird.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”

He laid her down onto her back, hovering above her and gently smiled. “That I am.”

                                             That Following Monday…

“That’s right, still no babies!” Y/n announced as she and Steven walked into the kitchen after their doctor appointment. Everyone sat in the kitchen, hanging out and snacking. Kitty, Donna, and Jackie sat at the table while Eric, Fez, and Kelso sat at the counter munching on some pop-tarts. “Today’s my due date and I am nowhere near in labor! Gah! This sucks!”

She plopped down at the table, causing it to shift.

“Oh, honey, I know how you feel,” Kitty comforted. “When I was pregnant with Laurie, I wanted her out so bad I almost reached a hand up there and yanked her out myself!”

“That’s a great story, Mom. Can you tell that to me while you’re getting me some iced tea?” Y/n snapped.

Kitty glared at her daughter as she reluctantly got up and grabbed for the pitcher in the fridge.

“Damn, pregnancy doesn’t agree with you,” Jackie said. “The bitch hormone is being released.”

“You try carrying twins who won’t stop kicking me—and each other!” she responded as the glass was placed in front of her. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kitty grumbled as she sat back down.

“Seriously, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to one or both of the babies moving and kicking me. Have you ever had feet stuck in your ribcage? It’s a rude awakening. Literally.”

“Yeah, I feel your pain,” Hyde said. “Whenever you’re up, I’m up.”

“Oh, shove it!” Y/n spit. “You sleep like a damn log every night! You can be getting attacked while you’re dead asleep and barley stir!”

“No, I hear you. I just choose to stay still.”

“So, while I’m over here in uncomfortable, you’re snuggling your pillow just to avoid me?!”

Fez, Kelso, and Eric shifted their gazes to Hyde with amused smirks on their faces.

“You cuddle your pillow, Hyde?” Eric taunted.

“Shut up, Forman or I will suffocate you with said pillow.”

“But if you do, you won’t have a pillow to cuddle at night,” Fez continued.

“Shut up, Fez!”

“Y/n, have you tried any of the doctor’s suggestions?” Kitty asked.

“Yeah! Steven and I have done it like a dozen times since then,” she answered.

Kitty closed her eyes and rubbed her head. “Honey…have you tried anything else besides that?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, why don’t you start with food? Let’s go out tonight.”

Y/n shrugged. “Yeah, let’s try that.”

“And the weather is supposed to be cooler tonight, we can go on that long walk,” Hyde said.

She sighed and rubbed her aching neck. “Yeah, that works.”

“There’s a good Indian restaurant that serves the spiciest curry downtown,” Kitty said. “Let’s go there.”

“Uh, do I have to go?” Eric piped up. “Last time I had anything spicy, I sat on the toilet for three days.”

“Ew,” Hyde said and turned to his wife. “Look, I’m going to go look for those specific teas the doc told me about. Do you want anything else?”

“Yeah, just about everything on that list,” she responded. “Get the castor oil, some hot peppers, pineapples—”

“Should I just get the whole store?” Hyde asked.

“Yes please.”

Hyde nodded and kissed her head. “I’ll be back.”

As soon as he walked out the door, Y/n stood. “Well, I’ve got to pee again. I swear these damn kids think that my bladder is a squeeze toy.”

“She’s got to have those kids any day now,” Donna said once Y/n had waddled out the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s not like they’re trying,” said Kelso. “Hyde told me yesterday that she promised him that if she can give birth before Friday then he can go to the concert. Man, that must suck. Having an ol’ ball and chain telling you what to do.”

“Well, you’d never know since you’re too busy cheating on every girl you’ve ever dated,” Jackie snarked.

“Well, what do you say we make this interesting?” Kelso asked, ignoring Jackie’s comment.

“What do you mean?” Eric asked, tossing a Styrofoam football in the air. 

“I’ll bet you ten bucks she has the babies tomorrow,” he responded with a wide smirk.

“You’re on!” Jackie said excitedly and reached for her purse.

“Guys, I don’t feel right about this,” Donna said. “It’s not cool to bet on when our friend will go into labor.”

“Ugh, Donna,” Y/n called as she waddled down the stairs. “That candle you gave me smells horrible. Next time, maybe try getting me a candle that doesn’t smell like nature took a dump and forgot to flush.”

“It’s the smell of a forest!” she defended.

“Have you ever been to the forest?” Y/n said. “It doesn’t smell like that.”

Before she could let Donna respond, she waddled back upstairs. Once the door closed, Donna turned back to the group, annoyance written all over her face. “Make it twenty.”

                                                    --Later—

“Guys, I got some great news from the guidance counselor!” Eric announced as he ran into the living room where his family and Donna were sitting, watching TV.

“Yeah? What is it?” Red asked, turning down the volume on the TV.

“There's this program where you go and teach in an impoverished area for a year, and then they pay for your college. So, I signed up.”

“Eric, that’s wonderful!” Kitty cheered.

“That’s awesome!” Y/n joined in.

“See? I knew spending your college money would work out for the best,” Red said, smugly. “You're welcome.”

“So, where’s this impoverished place that you’re going to?” Steven asked.

“Is it east Milwaukee? You know I made a wrong turn there once and I ended up in this awful neighborhood,” Kitty said and lowered her voice as if anyone outside the living room could hear her. “They were playing radios on street corners!”

Eric shook his head. “No, I’m not going to east Milwaukee.”

“So, where then?” Donna asked.

Eric laid his hands out, palms up in excitement. “Its Africa.”

“Africa?!” Everyone said in shock.

“Africa, Wisconsin?” Kitty asked hopefully.

“No, Kitty, the country,” Red answered.

“You’re going to teach in Africa?” Y/n asked, her heart breaking. “So, does that mean you’re not going to be here when the babies are born?”

“No, no, I’ll still be here,” Eric said. “I’ll be leaving in August.”

“Oh,” she responded. “H-how long will you be gone?”

“About a year.”

“A YEAR?!” All three women shouted.

“What’s the big deal?” Eric asked, eyebrows knitting in confusion.

“The big deal is you made this big decision without coming to me at all!” Donna shouted and stood from the couch and stormed out.

“See? Donna understands,” Kitty said while Eric sighed in defeat.

This isn’t how he was planning this go at all.

                                         --Later that evening--

“Joey?” Y/n asked her husband as they sat at the kitchen table, eating dinner.

Hyde shook his head. “Have a cousin named Joey. Last I heard he was being treated for VD and on his way to a halfway house.”

“Oookay,” Y/n said, going down the list of names in her book. “Victoria?”

“No.”

“Why not?!”

“Because my mom had a best friend named Victoria.” He paused to take a bite of his spicy food before going into deep thought. “Pretty sure at one point she was more than that.”

Y/n gave him a blank stared smile. “I’ll never be able to erase that image out of my mind.”

“How bout Jimmy?”

Y/n put down the book. “Why Jimmy?”

He shrugged and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I’ve just always liked that name.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “Since when?”

“I don’t know, a few years maybe.”

“Or maybe because it’s the name of the guitarist in Led Zepplin?”

Hyde pretended to be shocked. “Is that where that’s from? Wow, what are the odds?”

Y/n rolled her eyes at him. “Keep thinking, genius.”

“Eleanor?” he suggested.

“I’m sorry, am I giving birth to a seventy-five-year-old?” 

“What’s wrong with Eleanor?”

“I feel like I’d be giving birth to a Roosevelt. No, thank you.”

“We can call her Ellie for short,” he argued.

“Ellie Hyde?” she questioned.

“Let’s keep brainstorming,” he agreed and looked at her plate which she barely touched. “Why aren’t you eating your spicy curry? I added extra peppers for you.”

Y/n let out a sigh and put down her book. “It’s not working. Nothing is going to get these kids out.”

“You’ve barley taken a bite out of your food. Maybe if you eat half of it, you’ll actually go into labor.”

“If I eat anymore, I’ll be breathing out fire,” she deadpanned.

“Come on, it’s good. Try it,” he encouraged before taking a bite of her curry. It didn’t take long for the spices to set his mouth aflame. He started panting like a dog before desperately grabbing her glass of water and downing it like a man who hasn’t had water in days.

“Oh, my God,” he panted once the water was down. “How are you eating this?”

Y/n gave him an amused smile. “I’m about to push two human beings out of me, I think a hot mouth is the least of my worries.”

“Speaking of hot mouth, why don’t you and I go upstairs and try to get these babies here?” Hyde suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

“C’mon, we’ve done it like a hundred times; clearly the babies aren’t coming,” she replied, defeated.

“You don’t know that,” he replied gently.

Y/n shook her head, defeated. “I guess these babies will come when they decide to.”

Steven looked at her before standing to his feet. “Come on. We’re going for a walk.”

                                            45 Minutes Later...

“I told you the walk wouldn’t work!” Y/n complained as they walked through the sliding door, picking out leaves and twigs from her hair.

“Well, it would’ve if you hadn’t tried to jump on me in the park!” Hyde argued as he looked down at the mud stains on his pants and shirt.

“I was trying to be romantic!”

“You’re trying to get these kids out of you so fast, you’re willing to knock us both over in a big puddle just for a quickie behind a bush!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know there was a deep mud puddle there?!” she yelled, prying her wet and muddy dress away from her thighs.

“Gee, I don’t know, maybe the fact that it RAINED earlier?” he yelled back.

“Ugh, you know what, I’m going to go shower. Don’t follow me!”

“What is going on?” Eric asked as he entered the kitchen with Donna. He took one look at the couple and started laughing. “What happened to you two?”

“Y/n thought it would be the perfect time to get romantic on a walk in the park to try to go into labor,” Steven replied, glaring at his wife who wasn’t even looking at him.

Eric scrunched up his nose at them. “Sorry I asked.”

“I’m going to go shower because the mud is started seal my butt cheeks together,” Y/n announced before waddling out the kitchen.

“Didn’t need to know that!” Eric cried out and turned back to Hyde. “So, are you guys going to keep trying?”

Hyde sighed frustratingly. “At this point, I don’t know. We’ve tried spicy foods, canola oil, sex…nothing is working. The long walk may have worked if she hadn’t cut it short.”

“Well, you know, maybe the babies will come tomorrow…or in a couple days…” Donna suggested and nonchalantly grabbed a soda from the fridge.

“I don’t know. I’m starting to think these kids are going to come closer to the concert and I just got to accept the fact that I’m not going to be able to make it.”

“What?! No, Hyde don’t say that,” Eric said. “You’re going to be able to have those babies and still go to the concert.”

“You know, Hyde, maybe you’re not doing this right,” Donna said and sat at the table. “Maybe, the babies will come tomorrow or Wednesday…”

Hyde squinted his eyes at her. “Why? Why tomorrow or Wednesday?”

She shook her head. “No reason!”

Hyde rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. I’m going to shower as well. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

Once he was out of earshot, Eric turned to Donna.

“Way to almost blow our cover!”

                                                         ---

Tuesday came and go with Y/n getting more miserable by the minute.

“It’s Tuesday night, she can still have the baby tonight!” Jackie argued.

“You had until 8pm. You can’t bend the rules now. Now pay up!” Donna chortled and held out her hand.

“Fine!” Jackie screeched and reached into her purse. “Here’s your stupid twenty bucks!”

“Thank you,” Donna said smugly and fanned her face with the two tens.

“Okay, double or nothing she has them by tomorrow,” Jackie said.

“I bet she’ll have them by Thursday,” Kelso said.

“I bet you’re all wrong,” Eric said. “I want to say she’ll have them by Sunday.”

“And I bet she’s losing six friends,” Markus piped up, disgusted at their behavior.

“Five,” Eric corrected. “She can’t lose me. I’m her brother after all.”

“I don’t think that’s going to make a difference,” Markus said.

“Markus, baby, shush,” Jackie said, tapping his leg. “We’re just having a little fun.”

“Fun?” he questioned. “You’re betting on your friend’s pain and misery! I don’t think she would classify this as fun.”

“She would if it was any one of us,” Eric pointed out.

“Only with you,” Donna chuckled. “She’s fine with the rest of us.” She looked up to Kelso who was mindlessly sucking on a popsicle. “Well, maybe Kelso too.”

He looked down at her, frowning, pausing with the popsicle still in his mouth. “Why me?”

“Because it’s so easy,” Fez added in, laughing. “Like you.”

                                                        ---

“That’s it, I give up!” Y/n said, exasperated three days later as she and her husband sat in the basement. “I’m done trying to get these kids to come out. They’ll come when they come.”

“No, don’t give up yet,” Eric said, faux-sympathetic.

“You just want them to be born so you can go to the concert,” she grumbled.

Eric’s gaze flicked to the rest of the group; Hyde staring at him suspiciously.

“Y-you can keep trying…even if it takes you to Sunday,” he said.

“Or Monday!” Jackie piped up. “I think you’ll go into labor then.”

“Nah, I’m saying Tuesday,” Fez said.

Y/n squinted her eyes at her friends. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Fez squeaked.

“Uh huh, and I’m calling bologna,” she said, eyes never leaving Fez’s nervous ones.

“Nothing you’ll be interested in,” Jackie said.

“Yeah? Try me.”

Everyone was silent, not daring to speak up, until—

“We’ve all been making a bet to see when you’ll go into labor!” Fez blurted out.

“FEZ!” Everyone shouted.

“What the hell?!” Eric shouted.

“Unbelievable!” Donna cried out.

“Big mouth!” Jackie chimed in.

“Traitor!” Kelso added.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t lie to her!” Fez said.

“But you can bet money on me?!” Y/n shouted. “I can’t believe you guys!”

“Yeah! How could you do this and not let me in on it?!” Hyde shouted.

Y/n snapped her head to him. “WHAT?!”

“C’mon, we’re both so miserable here, at least let’s make some money out of it,” he defended.

“Oh, yeah I’m sure all that sex has helped ease the pain,” Fez grumbled bitterly.

“Shut up, Fez,” Hyde demanded, making Fez pout and turn away.

“You know the worst part is you guys didn’t include me on this,” Y/n continued.

“What?” the group asked in unison.

“Well, like Steven said, if I’m going to be miserable, I might as well make some money!”

“Hey, you’re cooler about this than I thought you would,” Markus said.

“If I wasn’t pregnant and desperate to get these kids out, I wouldn’t be,” she said. “Now, tell me, how high is the bet?”

“Forty,” he responded casually.

“Forty?!” Y/n screeched. “C’mon I’m worth more than that!”

“It’s all I’ve got in my purse,” Jackie responded bitterly. “Unless you have more money.”

“I know Hyde does,” Kelso smirked.

Hyde glared at him. “Drop it before I drop you.”

                                          The Next Day…

“C’mon, babies, just stay in there until after tonight,” Eric encouraged, talking to his sister’s belly.

“You know that’s not how that works,” she responded, laughing at him.

“They can still hear right? Maybe they will listen.”

“Yeah, in your dreams, Forman,” Hyde said as he sat next to his wife on the couch.

“Come on, babies, if you wait to come out and let Daddy go to the concert with Uncle Eric, I promise I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle. “I don’t think they’re coming out anytime soon. You guys can go to the concert tonight, it’s fine.”

“YES!” Eric cheered.

“You sure?” Hyde asked genuinely and turned to her. “What if you go into labor while I’m gone?”

“I still have my parents here and Markus said he’ll be a phone call away if I need him,” she reassured him.

Hyde made a face at her. “I don’t know how I feel about this new guy helping you.”

“Would you rather it be Fez or Kelso?”

He smacked his lips in thought. “Good point.”

“Besides, I think it’ll be nice to just be me tonight,” she continued. “I can finally start that book I’ve wanting to read.”

“Vogue Magazine isn’t a book,” Eric reminded.

“Neither are comics,” she snapped back.

“Then why are they called comic books?” he shot back.

Y/n sighed. “Either way, I’m looking forward to finally getting some alone time.”

“As long you’re okay with it. And I won’t be out long,” Hyde promised.

“Okay,” Y/n said, smiling at him and kissed him. “I’m going to go take a nap. Wake me up before you leave.”

Hyde nodded as he helped her off the couch. Just as she did, she clutched her stomach, hissing sharply.

“Oh!” she yelped, bending over.

“Oh, my God! Y/n!” Hyde reacted quickly, reaching for her so she didn’t stumble forward.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” Eric asked her with wide eyes.

“Yeah, just kidding,” she giggled and walked upstairs.

The two young men let out a breath of relief and glared at her as she walked up the stairs.

“Sometimes, I really, really don’t like her,” Eric griped.

                                             --Time Skip—

“Y/n, I’m leaving!” Steven said as he gathered his wallet, keys, and tickets together.

“I’m coming,” she called out as she waddled down the stairs.

He met her at the bottom of the stairs and placed his hands on her hips, leaning down to kiss her. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

“More than,” she said, grinning. “You go and have a great time, okay?”

“I will. I left the number for you on the counter to the venue in case anything happens.”

“Look at you, being all worried and responsible,” she teased.

He chuckled and kissed her gently. “I love you. I’m serious—call.”

“I will,” she said and hugged him. “I love you. Have fun.”

“Will you stop making out with my sister and get in the car?” Eric asked impatiently. “Led Zepplin isn’t going to wait for us.”

“Shut up, Forman,” Hyde said and turned to Y/n once more. “Try to not have those babies until I get back.”

“I will definitely try,” she replied sweetly before giving him one more kiss. “Now, go. Enjoy the concert. Oh! Wait there for a moment.” She ran back to the kitchen before returning to the front door with a camera in her hand. “Take some pictures for me.”

Hyde held the large polaroid camera in his hand and looked at his wife. “You want me to take pictures the whole time?”

She nodded innocently. “Yeah!”

“No,” he deadpanned and set the camera on the couch.

“What? Why?!”

“I’m going to be busy rocking and rolling, not taking pictures of the band.”

“Steven, please! Just because I can’t be there doesn’t mean I don’t want pictures!”

“Yeah, that’s a lot of pictures that I don’t want to take and have to keep track of. No, thanks.”

“Why’re you being so stubborn?”

“Hey, if you wanted to see Led Zepplin, you should be going,” Eric piped up from behind them.

“You literally bought tickets for everyone but me,” she snipped.

“Correction: I bought them for me, you, Hyde, and Donna. Kelso bought tickets for him and Hyde,”

“But…Jackie’s not going, what're you doing with that extra ticket?” Y/n inquired.

“Yeah…he thought he was going to be able to score with her, but then she met Markus and quite frankly, I think Kelso is afraid of him. So, he’s bringing Fez,” Eric answered.

“I’m not even going to question that,” she said and turned back to her husband. “You be careful and have fun. But not too much fun!”

“Alright, cool, let’s go!” Eric pushed and shoved Hyde out the door.

“What the hell, man?” Hyde asked outside the door.

“We still have to pick up Kelso and Fez and I’d rather not be later because you couldn’t stop being mushy with my sister,” Eric responded and closed the door before Y/n could hear what Hyde had to say.

Y/n looked down to her stomach and held it between her hands. “Well, guys, it looks like it’s just us. What do you guys want to do? We can watch TV, read a book…eat a tub of ice cream?” A kick to the stomach confirmed her question. “Ice cream it is!”

                                         Later that night…

Y/n sat on the couch in the living room watching a rerun of Three’s Company when the doorbell rang. When she answered the door, Jackie and Markus stood there.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Y/n asked them.

“Well, we know you’re by yourself tonight so we figured you’d like some company,” Markus said with a bright smile and held up a Fatso Burger bag. “We also brought food.”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that nicely, but yeah same,” Jackie said and welcomed herself in.

“Oh, uh, well thanks,” Y/n said and closed the door. “You guys don’t have to be here. My parents are home and if anything happens, they’ll be here.”

“Nonsense. We’re your friends,” Markus said and sat down on the couch. “Besides, we figured you were hungry.”

“Always,” Y/n said and waddled over to the couch. “This was really nice of you. Thank you.”

“Not a problem,” Markus said, smiling and handing her a wrapped burger. “What’re we watching?”

“Three’s Company. It’s the one where Chrissy takes a freelance job as an X-rated writer for a fictional diary,” Y/n responded, watching the screen.

“Oh, that’s a good one,” Jackie said, digging into her fries.

After they had finished their meals and the episode ended, another one was starting soon as they all had settled back into the couch.

“No, no, no that’s ridiculous,” Markus argued. “Why would Doc Ock be Spider-Man’s greatest enemy? It’s always been Green Goblin!”

“The Green Goblin is Peter’s most famous enemy, but it makes sense that his greatest enemy is Doc Ock because think about it: Your mentor and friend turning bad? Can you imagine the betrayal?” Y/n countered.

“But Green Goblin was his best friend’s dad! That also has to mean something! Then, once his dad died, his best friend became the Green Goblin!”

“Yeah, that would mean something if Harry hadn’t tried to kill Peter first!”

“To be fair, Harry didn’t know about Spider-Man’s identity until later.”

“And to be fair, this conversation is killing me,” Jackie piped up, bored.

“Yeah, but—” Y/n was cut off by an abrupt sharp pain down in her lower abdomen. Her hands flew to her stomach and held her breath as the pain radiated and quickly subsided. She let out a sigh of relief.

Markus and Jackie sat up straight as Markus’s hands hovered over Y/n. “A-are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Y/n responded, breathlessly. “That was weird. Anyway, as I was saying—OH!”

Another sharp pain reared its ugly head, radiating through her pelvis to her back and down her legs. “Oh, my God!” Her grip on the couch tightened, knuckles turning white. She could feel her abdomen tighten rock-hard as she felt the pain become more intense.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Jackie asked.

Y/n couldn’t respond and could only whimper.

“Oh, my God,” Markus said, panicking and jumped from the couch. “Oh, my God! Not now!”

All Y/n could do was shake her head as the pain was starting to subside to the point where she could get some words out. “No, no, it can’t be. It can take a while for the babies to get here. It could just be the beginning stages.”

“The beginning stages of what?” Jackie asked.

Markus looked at her with a panicked and wild look in his eyes. “Are you serious?!”

“What?!” she asked, matching his energy.

“She’s in labor, Jackie!”

“Oh,” Jackie said calmly, but then it hit her. “OH!”

“We need to get you to the hospital,” Markus said, rushing to get her up from the couch.

“That’s not necessary,” Y/n said, another sharp pressure coming on as she stood. “The book said contractions need to be five to ten minutes apart before going to the hospital. Labor can take a while.”

Markus sighed a small breath of relief before looking down and his eyes widening. “And what does the book say about that?”

Y/n looked down on the floor at her feet as she felt some wetness.

                                          Her water had broke.

Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch @leothesquishy

[bloodfin]

planning out this menu for next week so of course thinking about the ghouls and their kitchen/food habits

dew loves sweet, crunchy treats. kettle corn, frozen chocolates, chocolate covered nuts. anything sweet that will leave a trail of crumbs will do. what he hates, however, is dishes, so he'll do anything possible to avoid making more, including using a paper towel as a makeshift plate (this of course leads to more mess, and mountain has nearly banned him from the space on several occasions)

rain loves spicy foods. ordering thai? he's requesting level 5 spicy, with extra chili paste on the side. loves to chase spice-intolerant dew around offering kisses after. he has too many teeth, so he won't touch stringy foods like celery. in the kitchen, he will clean as he goes, but never remembers where to put the spatulas or whisks so good luck figuring out which drawer he plopped them in

mountain also has a sweet tooth, but more for cakes and cookies. his baking is rivaled only by sunshine, and they'll tackle the most difficult recipes together to make actual magic. also makes the best ✨️special✨️ treats with his home-grown stash. extremely clean and organized; everyone knows better than to bother him in the kitchen, choosing to sit and observe at the island instead. if they're extra good, he'll slide them a sample

swiss loves savory and crunchy snacks. chips, pretzels, extra toasty cheeze-its. mountain made him savory trail mix once and now he asks for a pound of it every yule. will keep the kitchen pretty tidy, but has an unfortunate habit of forgetting to close the cabinets he opens and has bonked himself on more than one occasion. also known to make anything into leftover sandwiches that have no right to be as tasty as they are

aether is a grill dad. grilling is peaceful for him, plus it keeps his hands warm. loves a good classic burger, or a grilled chicken salad, definitely a savory guy. there could be a foot of snow outside, and aeth will be lighting the grill up for dinner without complaint. he's still learning to use the smoker, ever the perfectionist, but no one is complaining about eating the "messed up" brisket that doesn't quite fall apart when you poke it

aurora is the soup queen. loves eating soup, making soup; all soup, all the time. the den has a lot of mouths to feed so mountain made her a special step stool to help her see more easily into the massive kitchen stock pot while she cooks. her favorite to eat (but least favorite to make) is cauliflower soup, it's creamy and delicious, but every time she uses an immersion blender the ceiling gets as much soup as she does

sunshine also loves baking. her favorite is a classic raspberry french macaron and she has perfected the technique - it's impressive. phantom loves to watch her cook in particular, she's so clean and precise, they hope one day to hold a measuring cup like she does. sunshine is a bit more patient in the kitchen, showing whoever is watching little tips and tricks. wears the cutest floral apron, almost always covered in flour handprints

cumulus is all about fruits and berries, loves citrus and blackberries the best. mountain painstakingly cares for a little tangerine tree, just for her. her favorite foods to make are comfort foods, and she always makes the macaroni and cheese for big group dinners. everyone begs for it (and rain doesn't even add hot sauce), but she is definitely one of the messier cooks. everyone knows she has been in the kitchen when there are wrappers left about, little twist ties on the counter. the pack doesn't mind terribly, not when her dishes could cure any emotional wound

cirrus is all about cold, sweet snacks. loves ice cream and popsicles, the freezer is well stocked. her favorite is orange pushpops, and she will take exactly zero questions about it. works with great efficiency in the kitchen, and will often be the one planning dinner party menus with mountain. that, and which special snack he should make next. her specific cooking talent is bread, in particular sourdough. she made a cinnamon bread once that made dew cream his pants, he still hasn't lived it down

phantom burned water once, never tried cooking again. loves to wear a thrifted shrek shirt, "in the morning, im making waffles." they aren't, they barely use the toaster, but they'll make puppy eyes at mountain until he sighs and starts getting the batter ready. will eat anything anyone feeds them, but has an extra soft spot for those cloyingly sweet white puffy sugar cookies with bright colored frosting and sprinkles. the first time they had one was halloween, and they insisted on saving all the bat sprinkles

[timetravelstudies]

what do you like to cook for yourself on the daily? i find cooking really exhausting so im trying to find more ideas and see if i can make it more healthy :(

hi my darling <3 sorry if it took me a while to get to this but i wanted to give it a proper indepth answer so i waited until i was on pc, free of obligations etc. im warning u this ended yp 1) long 2) really disorganized and stream of consciousnessy lol. sowwy.

ok first of all my definition of cooking&eating "healthy" is to eat a variety of filling, nutricious and digestible foods. i dont count macros, i dont count calories, i dont restrict or avoid anything unless its smth i cant digest, i dont believe in any of that bullshit. im gonna have to avoid a lot more foods from now on bc ive recently discovered i have a ton of pretty severe intolerances lol and its pissing me off. but im gonna give you recipes etc based on what i was eating before

secondly idk what foods are cheap/easily available/available fresh vs frozen where you are + how much storage space you have etcetc. so again this is all gonna be based on my circumstances. that also goes for the effort & difficulty level of the recipes. these are around a low to moderate level for me as of say fall 2024, but i know some of them would have been way too exhausting in planning, prep work, organization etc for me a year or two ago. i hope at least some are usable for you though!

heres some advice that made my life easier:

whenever u boil rice always make extra. it stores super well and is really filling and versatile and can turn a random &/or meafer assortment of leftovers into a meal when u fry them together.

buy frozen veggies rather than fresh, and even if u get them fresh, cut them up asap and freeze them. having fresh veg in the fridge feels anxiety inducing bc its a commitment to cook meals from scratch more than once. if theyre in the freezer they can stay there forever even if youre in a rotting period yourself. i do the same with bread, buy a fresh loaf (or more likely half) and slice and freeze the whole thing.

whenever u make frozen veggies always make double portions. u can save half for dinner/lunch the next day. tada! you have your veggie portion for that meal. worse comes to worst you can fry or boil a single egg and itll stil be a nutricious and relatively balanced meal. if you unfreeze a bread slice itll be filling too.

heres how i cook frozen veggies so they dont taste depressing: for leaf greens (spinach, chicory, something wordreference tells me is called "chard") i get a deep-ish pan (NOT pot) and dump 2 frozen cubes in there with enough water that theyre covered about halway thru. i put as much salt as i want in the water, put a lid on the pan and let it cook at low-medium so they unfreeze. this way they get salted evenly. once theyre unfrozen i drain the extra water (some ppl drink this bc its good for you, i think its gross but if u wanna get 100% of the nutrients u paid for u may wanna try this, if so then i guess skip the salt step and salt later lol) then push them slightly to the side in the pan. i put some oil on the free half of the pan + some chopped up pieces of garlic and let it warm up a little bit at medium fire (until it makes a slight noise.... ur veggies will be fine bc theyre so watery still but u may wanna move them around a little so ur 100% sure they dont get stuck), then i mix it all up, raise the flame higher and fry it essentially. only for a few minutes. some people add dried chili pepper flakes too before frying, i only do that sometimes bc i get gastritis by too much spicy food lol. this is actually a way of cooking long veggies that is typical here in rome ("verdura ripassata", veggies cooked twice)

for non-leaf veggies i mostly eat zucchini or peas. in this case i do the same thing to unfreeze them (pan, water, salt, lid, wait) with the caveat that peas take FOREVER esp bc i like them soft. then when i fry, in the zucchini i add onion instead of garlic (my personal preference) and in peas. actually wait i will tell u a really easy delicious way of cooking peas i have later.

some foods to buy:

besides frozen veggies, get precooked legumes (in the can or the jar) since those also store forever. i always have 1-2 small jars in storage that i replenish when i eat them bc #youneverknow.

also get a few bottles of herbs and/or spices that you like bc you can use these to upgrade any food instantly, not just in taste but also in how elaborate and fancy it feels -> how good u feel about urself for cooking it. my staples rn are curry (just generic curry..... generic white people curry from the regular white people gocey store....... it does the job), turmeric (#orangefood tell ur friends. really good in fall/winter warms me up from the insideeeee smile), black pepper and coriander. i kinda dump these into whatever when i wanna feel like im A Chef creating Art. these get kind of expensive so tbh last time i just shoplifted them thanks to my big pocketed cargo pants.

onions and garlic are also staples in any italian kitchen i always have them on hand. any type of onion tbh but better any kind of big round one bc they last longer. but also i buy onion sprouts(?) sometimes and chop them up and freeze them to put in omelettes and make them feel special and taste more delicious.

also i semi-regularly buy lactose-free cream cheese bc i use it in a lot of foods + its a no-cook easy source of protein for when i cant be bothered to even take a pan out of the cabinet. but thats a fresh food so u have to commit to eating it within the week-10 days obv

heres a few "recipes":

pasta with pesto: buy pesto from the store. cook pasta. drain pasta (wet the drys...... dry the wets......). put pesto on it. boom. food. this was, no joke, 70% of the cooked food i ate in 2022 & 2023.

soup from premade soup: easy as it sounds. i buy big bowls of premade vegetable soups, theyre v cheap at my local store and i get 2/3 meals out of each. i dont get the pureed ones bc i think the texture is gross, i get the ones with chonks. i recommend the ones with lentils or some type of bean and/or cereal in them, not just pieces of veggies, bc theyre a lot more filling. in order to make them taste better and also feel more satisfied, i warm them up in a pot with olive oil, garlic, a pinch of salt, plus some stuff like powdered turmeric curry ground cumin or whatever other spice or herb you like. once its warmed up i also usually add a big spoon or 2 of lactose-free cream cheese to improve the texture + add some fat to counterbalance all the spiciness + "round out" the flavor. overall it takes 10 ish minutes. sometimes if i have leftovers i dump them in too (like idk boiled eggs and or potatoes, or a little bit of ham thats getting dry in the fridge, or smth) sometimes if i feel like it i will boil some rice too and eat it with rice mixed in as a curry. that usually makes it so i have leftovers for the day after bc i dont eat as much soup.

onion sprout cream cheese goat cheese veggie whatever omelette: ok first of all obv u can make an omelet with anything so this is ur chance to dump any leftovers in there too. but i have a couple of omelet "recipes" ive been doing in the past year which are specifically super delicious. n1 is omelet (2 eggs in a mug + pinch of salt + black pepper + whisk) then i unfreeze chopped up onion sprounts in the Michael Wave, chop up some solid goat cheese, dump it all in, mix so its even. in the meantime i warm up oil in a wide and short pan. its ready when u throw a teeeeny bit of water in and it hisses (dont hurt urself, back away immediately when u do this. by a TEEENY bit of water i mean i wet my fingertip and let a single drop fall). pour the entire substance in the pan, the bottom will cook almost immediately, the top will stay liquid for a bit which allows u to move the filling around with a fork bc it will inevitably get all in one place lol. then take a wide spatula and try to flip it. i can only sort of do this after a year of practice and only about half the time. tbh as long as u dont hurt urself its fine if it break. who gaf. anyway. the other side will cook MUCH faster about <1min. turn off the fire and put on the plate. sometiems i put an absorbent paper towel on the plate to soak some of the extra oil up. unfreeze a bread slice if ur feeling fancy. enjoy :) omelet n2 is the same but without the goat cheese. u can hold the onions too. basically just egg and salt. fry. once its done dump ur extra long leaf greens from yesterdays dinner on one half. cover the other half in cream cheese. close. its a crepe now :)

Delicious Peas: dump frozen peas in small pot, add a lot of water (say until the peas are more than covered), salt. put on a low-medium fire with a lid on. in the meantime u can cut up onions (regular onions will do) and ham (i eat presliced ham from the store so rather than cut i just tear it apart with my fingers into bite sized pieces lol). once the peas are cooked but still hard (like, they perfectly split into 2 halves when u bite them) u can dump the onions in and add oil. at this point u should still have some water but not a lot. like the peas are only a bit covered. if u have too much water np just throw a little out. once the peas are almost perfect softness say when 2-3 mins are left put the ham in. keep stirring throughout + u need to stir more often the less water there is (at the beginning when u have a lot of water u dont need to stir at all). this is a slightly more advanced recipe in my mind bc its slightly higher effort for slighly lower nutrients (only peas and some ham) but its very delicious #ToMe plus u dont need to pay a ton of attention to the pot so i do this sometiems in the evening and in the meantime i will clean the kitchen for the day or sit down when i can and play sudoku or whatever. anyway peas are also very filling for a veggie. also if you make this exact same thing but in a bigger pot u can bring the water to boil (with the peas in it) and dump some little pasta then keep cooking slowly at low fire while stirring in whatever ingredience you feel like. tada. pasta soup with peas and some other bits and bobs :) super filling and nutricious + once u know how to make this u can make a big batch and save for the day after or even freeze it in individual portions and eat it forever.

anyway. i didnt say anything abt fish bc i dont eat fish a lot and i didnt say anything about meat bc i just unfreeze whatever meat i have, say a burger, heat up the oil, dump it in, cook one side, flip, salt the cooked side, flip again, salt the other side, burn up a little, serve, eat. nothing special. sorry theres so few recipes but i dont know your cooking level or energy levels etcetc so i wanted to focus on relatively simple stuff that also makes for leftovers. i have some other recipes i like like #orangepasta (pasta & chickpea soup-style with turmeric) or a really delicious but kinda high effort everything-pasta bake i make on sundays with family or by myself and then i freeze a bunch of it. but those have more steps & ingredience so i avoided them.

i hope this helps even a little! sorry i wrote so much im kinda the yapper. lmk if you have any questions :) and from the bottom of my heart good luck. i know it can be hard and frustrating and depressing as fuck to be "bad" at food but it CAN be done i promise. i believe in you and love you soso much. MWAH! <3

[collidescopeeyes]

Random Relationship Headcanons: Pyke

- Whittles in his free time. Always has a piece of wood and a carving knife on him, his pockets always have sawdust shavings in them. Likes working with bone too, but that's less portable. Forgot about it for a while after he died, but he tries to keep it up after the Deep loosens it's hold on him, it helps keep him occupied. Works more with bone after though; knives are somehow just a bit sharper in his hands. He always gives you the nicest ones, but he's very particular about which ones turned out good enough

- Pre-Deep, wakes up at the crack of dawn. Can be convinced to come back to bed for exactly as long as it takes you to fall asleep again. Post-Deep doesn't need to sleep, but still sticks around as long as it takes you to fall sleep before slipping away.

- Likes salty and spicy flavours, but is also used to eating whatever's convenient for sustenence. He has a few dishes he learned from his mom that he can make really well, but that's from years of practice: he needs to be given Very Specific Instructions for anything else or he's hopeless. Makes a god tier chili but it's so hot you WILL cry and he WILL laugh at you

- Post-Deep, he still needs to eat, but left to his own devices he just eats raw fish like some kind of extremely budget sashimi chef. He came back with sharper teeth, and he can't exactly get sick anymore.

- Speaking of post-Deep changes, doesn't need to breathe, and doesn't have a heartbeat anymore. He can see in the dark and in water incredibly well, but he's actually a bit blind during the day.

- His sense of smell is fucked from years of exposure to chemicals and offal on the slaughter docks, hence why he likes food with strong flavours; aromatics are wasted on him. VERY strict with personal hygiene bc of that, he knows he can't tell if he smells like blood and death and he doesn't want to gross you out. Steals your soap though, if he notices he smells like lavender he doesn't care.

- Forgets to act like a human being sometimes. Pre-Deep that was just peak bachelor behavior like eating a tomato like it's an apple cuz it's food and it's fast. Post-Deep he's just Weird, like stands in one spot looming and not blinking not breathing for an hour weird. Tries not to do it in front of you, but you're the only person he cares about not freaking out.

- Always smells like the sea, has calloused hands but is always very gentle with you (unless in some very specific situations where you don't want him to be wink wonk). His tattoos go up his arms and down his back. Feels kind of uncomfortable when he's out and around other people without his bandana up, he's just so used to it.

- His mother was Buhru serpent caller and his father a Freljordian who joined up with with the Noxian Navy during one of their northern campaigns. Father died young, mother when he was 18. Pretty much been on his own since then, never really had anyone especially important to him in that time and is used to taking care of himself. Pretty much never treats himself to nice things so the task has to fall to you. Consequentially, has zero immunity to you doing nice things for him just because; pack him a lunch with a sweet note and he’s Gone that's It, Pyke.exe has Stopped Responding

- Resting murder face that gets worse when he's embarrassed. His levels of flustered are directly proportionate to how much he looks like he's about to stab someone. His ears get red though, it's cute.

- Punctual and has an excellent memory, if you ask him to do something he'll do it no questions asked. If you tell him to meet you in a random alleyway at 10:05am with a grocery list of 16 things, he's there on the dot and to the letter.

- Fantastic whistler, great singing voice, you'll literally never catch him doing it. If you're sick or something he might be persuaded to hum you a lullaby.

- Thinks actions count more than words, and that being reliable and showing up is way more important than any grand gesture. If you're having a bad day he'll bring you coffee or a snack you like, chores are done so there's nothing for you to worry about when you get home, anything he can do to make your day less stressful. Doesn't mention it either, it's just natural to him, like obviously he's gonna do whatever he can to help. Likewise, it doesn't take much to keep him happy, just as long as he knows he can rely on you.

- Appreciates physical closeness but doesn't usually initiate it. Not really used to recognizing when he wants something, just kinda goes from mysteriously being unhappy to internally having a little :) thought bubble above his head when you sit down next to him (still looks pissed tho but that's just his face don't worry about it). Doesn't need to talk or anything, just likes being close to you.

- Great listener, you might worry he's not paying attention because he tends not to say much, but he'll remember every word. Will happily listen to you talk about literally anything that interests you, if it's important to you it's important to him.

- If there's a problem you need to work out just tell him. He'll notice if something is up but he trusts you'll come to him when you're ready to talk. Great at listening and trying to understand where you're coming from but isn't great at recognizing or articulating his own feelings, so he needs time to think about how to respond. Please be patient with him, he's trying his best.

- Not really jealous or possessive but has a natural ‘don’t fuck with me’ aura that means no one even thinks of getting too friendly with you, even before he became the Blood Harbor Ripper. Ngl, he enjoys it, means he gets to monopolize you–anyone who knows you well know he's harmless (to them).

- Post-Deep, gets more protective and…not really clingy but he Hovers. You're the most important thing in the world to him, you're his reprieve from the voices and the only good thing he has left in a world that's fucked him over and he's shit scared of losing you. Even when he can't actively be beside you, he still prefers to keep tabs on you from the shadows when he can. The Ripper thing gets in the way less than you'd think; no one really lives to say what he looks like and what does get passed on is very exaggerated, and freaky glowing eyes are more common than you'd think in Runeterra--plus, the Ripper's not just gonna be walking around, psh. He hates crowds now though and worries he won't be able to control his reactions, so if you're running errands at a market or something don't expect company. Gets antsy if he hasn't seen you in a while, so don't be surprised if he's disproportionately relieved to see you.

- Post-Deep, has a much harder time relaxing, his memory is a lot hazier, and he gets confused when things don't line up with what he has in his head. The voices are distracting and he's not always sure what's real and what's not. The Deep fucked him up and he's still sort of figuring how to deal with it–its pretty unclear how much of what's going on with him is actual literal magic and how much is a man with severe PTSD struggling to make sense of his new reality

- Anyway I finished playing the Ruined King game and my epilogue hc is the part in that where Illaoi offers to help break his curse and he goes to teach the Buhru about sea monsters. His list becomes his list, not about what the Deep wants but about protecting people who can't protect themselves. He finds connection with an estranged heritage and purpose in helping protect Bilgewater, either through helping the serpent callers or through putting fear into Bilgewaters scummiest.

NSFW (under cut)

- His job keeps him away from you for long stretches of time and by God is he gonna make up for that

- High libido but is used to managing that on his own, jerking off twice a day just was just kinda part of his daily routine; if you're in the mood he much much prefers coming to you instead

- Definitely a dom, likes being a bit rough with you. Gets immense satisfaction out of making a mess out of you, hand in your hair whispering filthy things in your ear while pounding you within an inch of your life. Loves hearing you beg and whimper. Act up if you want a spanking, you're not getting out of here without cumming at LEAST three times anyway

- Loves it when you're loud, it's his personal goal to extract as many noises from you as he can and he doesn't give a fuck who hears. Dirty talk aside, he's not very vocal himself, but God does he sound good when you do get a moan out of him

- Can and will manhandle you. Holds your wrists in one hand or pulls your head back with a firm grasp on your hair, holds your throat so he can feel your pulse pounding, flips you over or pushes you down so he can fuck you better. If you're getting home and he's in a mood you're getting picked up and fucked against the front door, neighbors who?? He wrestles sea monsters for a living, you basically weigh nothing to him, and he loves how cute and pliant you get when he's fucking your brains out ❤️

- Big fan of oral, giving and receiving. Eats pussy like he doesn't need to breath, he thinks you taste great and he loves making you squirm--be warned, this will work him up and you will be getting railed after, how many times you already came on his tongue is really irrelevant. Likewise, he thinks you're so pretty on your knees struggling to fit his cock in your mouth, and he makes sure he tells you that and what a good job you're doing ❤️

- He has thick fingers and by God does he know how to use them, can reduce you to a puddle with one hand up your skirt. If you're feeling bold enough to tease him in public you will inevitably find yourself in some dark corner with one leg hiked up to his hip while he makes you see stars. There are a lot of areas where he's a patient man, and this is not one of them--you fuck around you WILL be finding out.

- If you wear lingerie it's not coming out intact, sorry. Something about it just makes him want to wreck you, prettier the better. That being said, he can't decide whether you look better with his cum dripping out of you or off of you--help him decide, will you?

- Will happily let you take charge, he likes seeing you chasing your own pleasure. If you want to do any kind of edge play on him though he will need to be physically restrained, and he will get so growly about it. At his most desperate he doesn't even sound human anymore.

- Occasionally, just wants something slow and intimate, you in his lap with your arms around his neck, just taking the time to enjoy each other. He's a softy at heart, he doesn't know how to ask for it but sometimes he just craves a bit of romance.

- After, cleans you up and holds you until you fall asleep, occasionally presses a kiss to your hair. Actually gets super sulky if you don't have time to cuddle properly. He's not great with words, so it's an important way for him to show how deeply he cares about you.