paperheros

[paperheros]

Hi ♡ Almost three months have passed since I last messaged you. The past months have been kind of rough for me, that's why. Fortunately, I'm on my winter break now! How have you been?

hi again! i’m really sorry to hear that, but i hope you’re enjoying your break! i’ve been okay, super tired recently but that’s just because it’s the last few days before i go on break myself. how’s winter break been so far?

[paperheros]

not that i’ll ever admit it, but there are times where i’ve daydreamed myself a better ending. maybe i knew better than to fall, maybe i was brave enough to confess, maybe i said the words i should have, done what should have been done, and you would still be here, sitting opposite me, steaming cup of coffee between your hands, complaining yet again about how they gave you too much cream. the setup had been perfect, the beginning flawless, but somewhere along the line it all went wrong and i’m left to wonder where. at least in these other worlds, hypothetical pipedreams, you’re still here. it’s in those worlds i say all the things i can never say to you now, things i still don’t have the courage to admit aloud. and sometimes i wonder if you have these too, fantasies based on what could have been, but then i remember that if you did, we’d be together in this cafe, instead of sitting back to back and pretending not to know one another.

—on chances not taken // MH

[paperheros]

Hi ♡ It's me again. It's been a while, isn't it? How have you been? Hope you're doing alright. Take care always!

hi again! i’ve been pretty busy with school starting and everything, but i’ve finally settled into a pattern, which is a plus. how have you been doing? thank you for all your kind messages ♥

[paperheros]

after nearly 2 months of inactivity, i’m back! new work should be up soon, and somewhere during my abscence I reached 200 followers, so thank you for that as well ♥

[paperheros]

1. there’s a special arrogance that comes with youth: the belief that you are invincible, are immortal. it’s the sort of thing that comes with not having to fear death, those few, precious moments where you feel like you’re on top of the world.

2. i told myself i would stay like this forever—young, hopeful, so full of dreams that i don’t know which to pursue first. but the sun rises each morning, sets every night, and what do i have to show for it? this stagnant existence of mine is an act of defiance, one i’ll no doubt be punished for when time catches up to me.

3. hours and days slip through my outstretched hands like grains of sand. i spend too long trying to collect the ones that have fallen, only to drown in the ones still descending.

— adomania // MH

[paperheros]

i’m not sure if it’s a side effect of growing up or something else, but life just seems so muted nowadays. i remember other summers in vivid colors, afternoons spent by the pool laughing and trying not to get my hair wet even though i knew it was inevitable, but this one feels stagnant. i wake up late like i always have, go to sleep in the middle of the night, but in between there’s just something that’s missing, making it feel like i’m watching life go by instead of actually living it.

—and it’s terrifying to think about, in a way // MH 

[paperheros]

i’m officially back from camp, and i just want to say thank you all so much for 100 followers ♡

[paperheros]

Have fun on your writing camp! Looking forward to reading more beautiful writings from you ♡

thank you so much! 

[paperheros]

this is an apology for not posting much recently, and an announcement: from today (june 27) to july 9, I will be away at a writing camp. I’m not sure how active I’ll be, but if I get some nice stuff written there then I’ll post it. I’ll be back for sure on july 10 !

[paperheros]

i took the pictures of us down this morning. they were getting too hard to look at, the younger versions of us with crooked teeth and messy hair, smiling because we were having the time of our lives together, because we thought we would keep on having the time of our lives together. as i peeled them off the wall, folded the tape over the back of each photo, slipped them into the shoebox in the closet, i didn’t feel nearly as bad as i thought i would all those times i considered doing it in the past. you never come over anymore, so you’ll never see they’re gone.

— i wonder what you would say if you knew // MH

[paperheros]

I am in love with your writing.

thank you so, so much!! it makes my day to know that someone likes what i’m doing ♥

[paperheros]

you told me you had never seen tragedy, but I never thought it meant you wanted to create your own

beware those who have never faced disaster // MH

[paperheros]

no one talks about how hard it is to fall out of love with your friends. it’s a special kind of pain, to slowly realize that the person you spent your past and planned your entire future with just isn’t in the picture anymore. it used to be you two against the world, but now you’re on opposite sides of a faultline, neither of you wanting to make the jump to the other end in fear you’ll fall. it’s something that deserves all the bravado and attention we give breakups, yet people are expected to go through the ordeal like it’s nothing out of the ordinary

— but the truth is, it fucking hurts // MH

[paperheros]

and maybe, just once, the hero wants to dance in the ashes of a world on fire instead of putting out the flames

would it be such a crime? // MH

[paperheros]

maybe in another life we were meant to be. perhaps in some other universe the thought of us together is more than just a daydream I thought up one day and can’t let go of. and though it’s not this one, it would be comforting to know that somewhere there’s another me, maybe one that’s prettier or more daring, who can fall asleep easier because she’s not kept up every night imagining what if

— and what I’d give, to have that world be this one // MH

[paperheros]

How sad it is, when the things we regard as trophies become a part of our tragedy

are all memories destined to sting? // MH (via noahsweetwne)