#the characters emotional response
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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I'm feeling really burnt out trying to consistently point out that nuance is important when it comes to my posts.
I'm also feeling really burnt out trying to account for multiple scenarios to avoid getting the angry asks.
It shouldn't need to be said that every one of my posts is not a black and white rule. That there are always circumstances where a post won't apply.
And honestly, I guess what I'm saying is I'm done trying to explain and account for stuff.
Non aggressive responses pointing out nuance are fine, and I don't have the energy to respond to them, but they are fine and will just be ignored.
But aggressive responses/asks will just be blocked from this point forward.
I'm feeling exhausted anytime I check my ask box or activity feed on Tumblr, and it's making me want to delete the app and not blog anymore and I don't really want that. So, in order to keep blogging, I am going to begin ignoring stuff like this.
Also, to clarify, I don't think you're terrible if you feel a need to point out nuance. I'm just really exhausted by it all, and if you aren't being aggressive or rude about it, you're fine.
#personal#like i already got an angry ask about my last response to the abusive mother ask#nuance is important omg#i was replying to that specific situation#i don't think someone is automatically an abuser because they lost their temper#and yelled#and it was extremely out of character#and they apologized#i don't think it's right to yell at people#but like we're human#emotions are hard#i was talkinga bout that specific scenario
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Hypervigilant Characters
A character goes to the dentist or other place which requires they lie down on their back; they keep their arms firmly crossed over their belly/chest at all times because they don’t like leaving that area exposed and believe it to be a weakness to not protect it.
Always having to sit facing the door in an unfamiliar place, in case someone dangerous comes through it.
Hearing people (especially children) screaming or yelling outside scares the shit out of them every time; because they think someone’s been injured or is being abused by someone else. They have to peek outside to make sure everything’s okay; it always is.
Having to check every closet, nook, crevice, behind every door whenever they get home in case someone is in their house who shouldn’t be.
Noticing instantly when the tiniest of the tiniest things are out of place on anyone and anything.
If they can’t find something, their mind always goes “someone stole it” even when it’s highly improbable, or even impossible to be true.
Having unnaturally fast reflexes that can catch practically anything no matter how sudden.
Becoming skittish and flighty in situations in which they do not have complete control over their environment.
Purposefully carrying oneself with an intimidating affect and behaving more confidently and dangerously as their level of fear increases.
Preferring booths to tables in restaurants because booths are more enclosed and therefore safer, or so they believe.
Staring down and acting menacingly towards any potential hiding spaces when they walk past them in the dark.
Scanning hotel rooms and public bathrooms for cameras and audio bugs; and/or always assuming they are being spied upon.
Refusing to cough within earshot of other people because they either believe people will judge them for being unsanitary, or that it’s a sign of weakness.
Stone cold facial expressions and purposefully being ambiguous to everyone.
Refusing to show any skin at all during the summer months because heavy clothes are their armor.
Keeping an eye on everyone in general, wherever they go.
#[giggles which turns into hysterical laughter which turns into sobbing]#Is this a whump post or a mental health post? Yes indeed it is!#whump prompts#tropes#plot bunnies#writing prompts#trauma responses#angst#or as the children would say: emOtiONAL DAMAGE!#hypervigilant characters
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something something about autism masking and how it relates to Mystreet Garroth’s character development. something about how Mystreet Aphmau “Has Never Masked Her Chaotic Audhd Once In Her Life” McGee influences Garroth to crawl out of his posh boy shell and goof off and run wild
#aphmau#Mystreet#garroth romeave#garroth ro'meave#aphmau garroth#i feel like Mystreet Garroth has two different personalities. there’s his first personality that he has in PDH that’s just MCD Garroth with#a little more awkward cute teenage boy and a little less deep seated anger#he’s emotionally mature. he’s gentle. he’s soft. he’s the voice of wisdom. he’s responsible and kind#and overall a very sophisticated lad#fit for a Prince#and then you have his second personality later on that’s the goofy 0 brain cells idiot that runs into walls#in my head I like to blend the two. Garroth as a character in all works is both and it depends on the circumstance which comes out#I don’t like Garroth being reduced to such toddler level stupid though. I feel like that’s something Zane specifically made up to bully him#and it’s not true#or shouldn’t be at least#he’s not! he’s extremely emotionally intelligent and emotionally mature#in my versions he’s not a childish person#he can be petty!! he can be deeply insecure and miss important truths because of that#but emotional intelligence is his strong suit#which contrasts his two clever and sharp-witted brothers#especially Zane who has net zero emotional intelligence#he can be really fucking serious and sophisticated and mature. but he can also be an autistic silly little guy who goes :3#that’s how you know he feels safe <3
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something i don't talk enough about as a trans person in this fandom is the guilt.
because i feel so fucking guilty all the time. for,,, doing something i enjoy? which is fitting, i guess, that i hate myself for the very thing transphobes hate me for - living happily.
and i don't talk about it because,,, well. i don't know how to.
it's all very disconnected, isn't it? you will open fics to the disclaimer "i do not support jkr", you engage in queer stories etc etc but,,, you don't really think about it?
until you're picking up your hrt prescription and the price has gone up by a third without warning. until you're booking an "assessment" with the clinic you pay nearly £200 a month to because the government's decided that you need to regularly prove that you're trans enough. until you're having your fifth heart attack and instead of finding answers, you're told it must be the hrt even though you weren't taking it for any of the other times. until you're sitting in an ed clinic and you're told that clearly it's all rooted in being trans, even if you've been here for years before. until you're searching for emergency accommodation because you're homeless and you're rejected by the first six that you try because you "aren't a right fit". until you're buying fucking milk and have your hair pulled and shirt lifted. until you're walking 'home' alone.
and then you get 'home', and you think "what a rough day, i'll do something i enjoy now"
and you speak about a headcanon that people dislike and your face ends up on reddit pages with random strangers dissecting your identity. you talk about a ship people dislike and you're called slurs. you scroll through comments of people whining about a male fictional character in makeup, and suddenly it's not so disconnected anymore.
and you have to come to terms with the fact you are taking joy from something created by a person who wants you gone, and that you actually can't disconnect the two.
and i think i've become too comfortable. which is a wild sentence, but i have.
i think i've become complacent in this idea that my existence in this fandom is a form of protest, but it isn't. my existence is not a form of protest and i guess, it sucks. sometimes.
coming to terms with being in a fandom based on the works of a woman who actively fights for me to not have rights. it sucks.
and it feels like screaming into a void sometimes where no one can hear you because for some reason, being trans is a form of protest, and that alleviates any guilt.
and well, yeah. i guess that's right. i guess there's a point there.
but my existence isn't a form of protest, and i feel guilty for being here. even though i only engage in fanbased work, even if i don't directly profit her, even if i make sure that i make it clear that i do not engage with her in any way. even though i read fics that deconstrust her views, or headcanons that go against her etc etc.
i feel guilty, and i don't really know how to amend that.
but i can recognise that now, and that's something.
#robyn is ranting sorry#its been a very emotional day chat ignore me#a few months ago when i had 3k someone got really mad at me for saying 'im literally trans' in response to engaging here#and i got so mad like??? whats wrong with that???#but yeah i think i get it#i can be trans and i can make her characters trans#but i cant fix anything#i cant change her views#and that... makes me feel guilty? i guess. for having fun here.#but actually i havent been having fun for a while but that's a different conversation
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Due to the inherent secrecy of spy work, Agent Phoenix rarely got thanked. Sure, on their occasional visits to Agency headquarters, the newer spies would gawk and the older spies would give them a slap on the back and a “nice work not being dead yet!” but Ollie’s sincerity caught them a bit off guard.
first ~ prev ~ next
now that Ollie’s in the know, i wonder what’ll happen next…
#ollie is interesting to me bc he’s the only ieytd character i can imagine having a normal emotional response to anything#like sure he has a very high nonsense tolerance what with Zor abandoning him in that lab#but with how deranged everyone else is he’s pretty tame in regards to the kinds of walls he puts up#ieytd#i expect you to die#agent phoenix#ollie ieytd#ieytd ollie#ollie at the agency#my art#ollix
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It's hard to believe that people actually dislike Izuku for "What he stands for" or the fact he's a flawed character when for years, years now people will hate on him for less.
This is the same fandom I have seen some people say Aoyama, a child who didn't actually have a choice, got off "too light".
Same fandom where some people will call Horikoshi a misogynist and then turn around and reduce the female characters to nothing but love interests and future wives. Some of you still only see Ochako as a girl with a crush. Some of you like to bash on Miruko's uniform and people only being horny for her and yet still won't say anything about the male character's costumes and are also horny for those characters yourselves.
Same fandom, now, that will ignore a character's development and that character has admit to being an ass and still be like "He didn't develop at all" and even worse? That character is a child. A child who never even is awarded for his behavior. In fact, often times is punished by the narrative in some way. And yes, I am talking about Katsuki.
Same fandom where some people will attack others over ships. And with shipping, that's the only time some of you will "care" about these characters. Izuku is the main victim of that!!
Same fandom who will be like "fanon is better" when fanon is actually worse.
Same fandom who at a time actually hated the villains, still do and even going as far as to making fun of some of their appearances (like Shigaraki and Dabi)... and really only started to "care" when they "showed out" during the Villain Arc. And by "care" I mean, only finding Shigaraki and Dabi hot as hell and still don't understand their characters. And even if you get why the villains do what they do, some of you still won't acknowledge they're in the wrong, too.
What about the minor villains who just want to cause havoc? For all we know, some of them may come from good homes and just want to be menaces to society. The heroes aren't completely good people either, but don't act as if it's every single one of them who do it for fame (Rock Lock is an example of a hero doesn't actually sees being a hero as a JOB) and every villain has some "excuse" because they don't.
In the case of Izuku Midoriya, some of you will say that Vigilante Deku was the best version of him. No. No, it's not. It was the worst version of himself.
It's not because he was a vigilante. It was because he wasn't taking care of himself. In what way is that the best version of anybody? Neglecting your health?
BNHA: Vigilantes is a perfect story that shows vigilantes not neglecting themselves and still doing what they needed to do to save people.
Often times when I do cross Vigilante Deku fanworks, it's like a totally other character.
My grievance with people "criticizing" Izuku isn't because of what he stands for. Their attitude will come off like he shouldn't have flaws.
Yes, he is a teenager who can only do so much and even as he gets older he can only still do so much because he is still just one person. But he can learn. He still has a long way to go even after however the story ends. Is he not suppose to learn or what?
Question: If Toga dies, will you hate Uraraka? If Spinner dies, how about the other characters? Will you hate them?
Kurogiri is gone but I don't see people hating Aizawa and Yamada.
"But it wasn't their fault! They were trying!"
And Izuku wasn't? Was it Izuku's fault that Shigaraki turned out the way he did?
Izuku wasn't the problem. He tries to be the solution and yes, sometimes it's a flawed solution.
But he shouldn't be the only character the fandom chooses to criticize and hate on for his flaws.
"But he's the main character!" Played out excuse. Played out, it's ridiculous. You're telling me that you're choosing to hate Izuku because he's a flawed main character?
Bullshit. So a character's position in a story is why you're choosing to hate him?
Even though other main characters before and after him have are loved and practically fucking worshipped and yet will have just as much flaws or even more?!
There are folks who love a character despite being gross as hell and they're not the main character. So that "main character hate" is bullshit.
For me, I will hate or love a character not because of their position in story but because of how they are as a character. Sometimes, it just so happens they are the main character. Sometimes, they're not.
Of course, their role can play a part as to how they're written.
Honestly, again, it's hard for me to believe people are "criticizing" Izuku for what he "stands for" when this fandom has shown me countless times the amount of bullshit it will pull. This fandom? Really? Same fandom who will adore other characters for less? Hate characters for less? Who come up with cold ass takes that do not make sense?
What? Exactly what kind of character Izuku Midoriya is meant to be? I'm curious, I really am! (No, no, I'm not.)
Because what it seems to me that even if Izuku was "perfect", the fandom will hate him no matter what.
"BNHA is cop propaganda!" Really? Because the police force here seems pretty "useless" to me. (A lot of the work is done by the heroes.) Sometimes, I forget they even exist until I see like Sansa or another police officer. (Actually, I be forgetting Sansa is a cop.) They're not even the main focus. Maybe it's just me, but BNHA comes off as a story that shows the ongoing cycle of what a previous generation's actions will do to shape the next generation and what that next generation may do to change. It's just that it's being told through heroes and villains and in between.
#midoriya is the product of what previous generations have done#it's not like everything good he does he's exactly awarded for it#he doesn't come out of a battle unscathed and fine and dandy#he still feels the effects of it every single time#so it's not like he's exactly okay with everything and it's not like he hasn't been fine with the good side either#bringing up the lady nagant situation as if she literally wasn't trying to kill a child or that situation wasn't a time critical one#they could have had a talk if she wasn't you know AN ACTUAL BOMB#this fandom is ridiculous#mc have a flaw? HOW DARE HE!!#that's the attitude some of you give#it's not like you're supposed to be completely okay with everything stories are meant draw emotions from you not just satisfaction#but why punish JUST AND ONLY izuku for it as if he is the only character with faults or responsible?#him being the mc shouldn't be an excuse he just happens to be the mc#but he ain't the only fucking character#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#deku#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers
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If I told my elder sister that after being hurt I was feeling sad, lost, and angry… And her response was “you shouldn’t be”…. I would immediately become sad, lost, angry, and ashamed. Not… better.
#the sandman#yes I’m still having feelings about this#disclaimer: I acknowledge that I believe a large part of my feelings on Death is because she reminds me of my own older sister#who is a Terrible Person#so as a character I recognize her nuance etc#my specific emotional response is… emotional lol#but also I like talking about it#don’t mind me just rambling in the tags lol
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idk if it’s just me but the whole “which atla kid in the gaang is the most mature” debates can get redundant and kind of exhausting at times. they’re kids. they’re multifaceted characters. they’re mature in some departments and immature in others. they have their strengths and weaknesses. also they’re kids lol.
#listen this is a probably a nothing burger lmao I’m just deep in my thoughts about what it means to be mature#because when talking about the cast what type of maturity are we focusing on yknow?#is it emotional maturity? spiritual maturity? social? maturity when taking up certain roles such as leadership?#and everyone has a different idea of what it means to be mature even in personality#take a comedic relief/goofy character for example#some may say this character is immature because of their goofy behavior#others might point out that being a jokester and taking the role of comedic relief doesn’t mean said character is immature#maybe my frustration just stems from people trying to assign parental roles to these tweens/teens lol#which I feel like can be an interesting conversation if we’re discussing#the traumas of losing a parent(s) at a young age and being forced to take up so much responsibility due to circumstances#but idk usually I see a lot of these conversations go sideways I guess#my conclusion#they’re just kids man they shouldn’t be fighting a war#they should be at the after school program#get aang to the computer lab now and make him a webkinz account#atla#text
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...I should be editing my dissertation but now I'm thinking about how both Azula and Katara are perhaps the most "adultified" of the atla characters and...hmm. Interesting.
#something something about the primary female characters getting treated like grown women while the boys...aren't so much#except maybe toph...who is the least feminine of the girls#I mean all of these kids have to grow up fast and deal with responsibilities no child should be shouldering#aang sokka and zuko all deal with this don't get me wrong#but all of them have a lot more allowance for childish moments#iroh provides zuko the space to be...if not an ordinary teen than to at least express his emotions like a teenage boy#aang is constantly granted spaces to be childish and carefree#and sokka has always had katara looking out for him which allows him to be free from the parentification she was saddled with#meanwhile toph's entire arc is about connecting with the freedoms she wasn't granted as a kid in her home#so she's allowed to be wild and crazy and her desire for that is even explored in one episode#with there being some acknowledgement that she actually DOES appreciate katara's 'motherliness'#but katara is rarely allowed a moment to be a kid and it is arguably only in the first episode that aang even comments on that#and azula never gets a moment of levity#even in the beach she's not really granted the space to be as carefree as zuko mai and ty lee#...anyways get these girls a mother figure please#let girls be girls and not young women#atla
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That was cool!!💀🔥
Source
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Huevember 22
Brent, the most expressive bard to ever bard.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#i love brentholomew the bard#brent just deadpanning his support is wonderful and karen appreciates it a lot#because hey man brents hilarious esp due to the dryness and she really loves chatting with him#so having him as her support for bardic inspiration so she can murder just brings her so much joy#right and karen probably hype him up in game as a petty rivalry to paul and his npc hot bardtender#like yeah you might have your npc of your crush but WE have the better bard look hes wonderful#hes practically glowing look at him paul do you see the superior bard#and brent is just staring at paul and paul is staring back and they both dont know what to say in the situation#bc what is there to say? i prefer the npc? or maybe point out that the four are literally in a party together?#like sure hb is an npc but paul is actively running around in game with brent and like.... what do you say#brent doesnt actually want to point out theyre in the same group bc then karen and right will stop antagonizing paul#and honestly nothing against paul but its fun to watch him get quiet and confused#chris is off to the side begging them all to focus on the actual campaign - they can hype brent up later please just focus#which is a nice contrast to right having to play responsible adult at the police station#now chris has to wrangle the other adults and also keep them focused good luck!#i love brent a lot im totally biased bc hes my depression as an oc C:#so he means a lot to me and his lack of socialness and his childhood emotional neglect is a la my experiences#like brents my depression and rights my anxiety#smoosh them together and theyre soul mates haha how very ace of me as ive said before#but also i main bard in ffxiv when i play which is also possibly the bias for brent to be a bard in the dnd au#gang im so tired
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Eärien and Valandil parallels Rings of Power Season 1
#this post is a placeholder for a meta i'm writing which compares their character arcs and argues they have much more in common than not#i am SO OVER people acting like Eärien is a bad person for not having faith in current leadership#and also annoyed by them treating valandil as 'the good one' in his response to the loss in the southlands#they are equally motivated by grief and loss#but their experiences differ quite a bit#earien has lost every single member of her family#they have either died or left her (in case of elendil this is long standing emotional neglect)#her worst fears came true and still her father is not there for her or listening to her#so naturally she turns elsewhere as she seeks justice#and valandil isn't making 'right' choices so much as he's stood by leaders who share his specific trauma and have supported him personally#anyway i love them both and i refuse to let them be pitted against each other#rings of power#earien#valandil#elendil critical#i love him but he's objectively not a great father to Eärien in the context of the show#i actually do have more to say...later#ANYWAY#rop op#my edits
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Your art is so poignant and skillfully executed. I'm always excited to see what you create, and all the various influences that are revealed(or hidden) in each art piece.
That being said, I was not prepared for the sudden influx of Sad Dog x Bright Dog art you've been sharing recently! Machete having the potential of being loved and enjoying tenderness despite himself is one of The Best reveals of 2023. I enjoy how you express his relationship and struggles just as much as i enjoyed the stand alone pieces you've shared.
Thank you much for sharing the broader stories and pictures of your characters 💓
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#aw dangit you're making me all emotional#thank you! that was such a lovely comment#sad dog x bright dog art has been the theme of this summer that's for sure#and I'm really moved by the overwhelmingly positive response my dogs have gotten#people genuinely seem to root for them and wish them good things#not to sound too sentimental but Machete has functioned as a misery sink for me for so long#I've spent years putting him through the meat grinder over and over again and while it has been cathartic in itself#it feels almost like a healing moment to give him some hope and happiness and someone to be with#and it's very rewarding to notice that this hasn't gone unnoticed by people who have been following my art and characters for a while#character growth#answered#anonymous#“having the potential of being loved” broke me just a little bit#like yeah who knew
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Did you know that Charis is a type of butterfly? (And butterflies represent…)
you get 3 chances to guess what song I was listening to while drawing this 🦋
#my art#overmorrow tfs#charis oc#kh oc#got brain blasted with music again what else is new#here comes a thought came on while I was doodling charis playing around with this art style and y’all. I pivoted SO quick#a song about unpacking trauma/feelings sung by a character with too many responsibilities placed on them at a young age#(a character that is also gendery and intersex I should add)#oh charis. girliepop. beloved blorbini. this song is ALL YOU#bonus points: we’ve got the caring mentor too. someone mature enough to be an emotional guide#this song is never gonna leave me is it. how long has it been since that ep came out. 8 years???
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was writing a fic from jasons pov a mistake knowing that people would ignore the unreliable narrator tag and jump to conclusions
#interestingly i will say the response being ‘this was upsetting and lacked closure’ means that the intended emotional impact was successful#although otherwise…. eh.#it’s interesting how people conflate criticism of a character to automatically = hating a character beyond reason#spokes#tbd
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