#the chantry will say they were good friends

[mythalism]

in my rook hating mindset now after that post this morning and cannot stop thinking about how they are literally the worst protagonist maybe in any story i have ever experienced JRHGKJERHGJERG. and like if you love your rook i am not saying you shouldn't. if you love your rook i am so so happy for you genuinely but you are also probably brilliant and have a huge brain because what the game gives you to build off of is so abysmal.

i literally cannot stop thinking about how insane it is that rook literally causes a double blight and worldwide catastrophe on a scale which thedas has not seen probably since the creation of the veil itself and just. experiences no remorse. and the story tries to tell us thats a good thing and makes them better than the villain/their foil. JHREGJKHERGJKHERG. HELLO?!!??!?!?! literally no one ever goes "hey maybe you shouldnt have done that" except solas and hes framed as the VILLAIN!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!! hawke blames themselves for not putting the pieces together fast enough when a bouquet of white lilies arrived at their door? the narrative gleefully condemn anders with the immediate opportunity to kill him for his crimes. nearly every single character in origins immediately puts the entirety of the responsibility for the fifth blight on loghain's shoulders, regardless of the CLEAR SUGGESTION that the battle at ostagar could never have been won. and all of these makes sense for the world and characters!!!!! of course hawke would blame themselves for their families deaths when they were given the role of protector by leandra after malcom dies. of course the city of kirkwall is going to want anders dead for his extreme act of violence rather than start the uncomfortable process of acknowledging the beloved chantry's complicity in large scale abuse happening in the mage circles!!!! of course alistair and the warden are going to blame loghain for the blight and cailan's death!!!! it doesnt matter if they are right or wrong, it makes sense for their perspective and worldview to feel this way!!!!

have yall gotten the low approval conversations in inquisition????? solas's "Inquisitor. Tell me. How does it feel? Being you. Are you blissfully unaware or, deep inside, is some part of you banging on the walls, screaming?" cassandra getting drunk and practically spitting in your face how she regrets raising you up to such power? blackwalls' "Are you proud of yourself, of what you’ve built here? How about the lives you’ve destroyed along the way? Given much thought to those lately? Is this Inquisition all you wanted it to be? Because I’m disappointed. All I see is a gang of thugs led by a self-serving tyrant." and these SCATHING comments from those who once believed in the inquisitor enough to join their cause come from decisions that affect a fraction of the population that dies under the southern double blight. people will rip the inquisitior to fucking shreds when they fuck up. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE TRESPASSER DLC EHRGKJHERGKJHERG. like holy shit every decision carries the weight of "oh my god whos gonna hate me. who is going to die because of my choice. how is this going to come back to bite me." have we forgotten what its like to return to varric after leaving hawke in the fade and confess what we did? the call we just made? to look him in the eye and tell him that we sacrificed his best friend? WHY IS ROOK NEVER ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THIS INTROSPECTION?????????? TO EVALUATE HOW THEIR DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE AROUND THEM BOTH PERSONALLY AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE????? OH MY GODDDDD

the regret prison scene is so insane. first its insane because its solas at his best and most cunty. but secondly it makes no fucking sense even if im largely distracted by pookie being fun and villainous. solas tries desperately to play up rook's regrets during their conversations and we are supposed to believe that it was that manipulation that allowed him to swap with them in the prison. how does this actually work? blood magic? dont worry about it, kitten. but then when we get into the prison.... the only two regrets that manifest are things that just happened within the last 3 hours - your two party sacrifices. lets be clear that these are not even real sacrifices because literally all of these people volunteer to go and then argue about why they should go. this is so fucking stupid. then rook looks at the statues and says "i dont regret this because this was your choice". YEAH????? OF COURSE YOU DONT FUCKING REGRET IT WHY WOULD YOU. HELLO???? THIS WAS NOT ROOKS CHOICE THIS WAS ROOK JUST SAYING "SURE I GUESS". AND THEN THATS ENOUGH! THEY JUST LEAVE BC THEY CONQUERED THEIR REGRETS!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT!!!!!! there is no discussion of rook being responsible for the blight in the south that we find out via ooc inquisitior letter has KILLED LITERALLY EVERYONE. no suggestion that their recklessness and willingness to act WITHOUT ALL THE INFORMATION at the ritual is the reason for every single thing the evanuris do following their release.

and let me be very clear bc i know this was causing drama on twitter last week. i am not saying the double blights is rook's fault. i actually dont think it is their fault, although i do think they are stupid and reckless and shouldn't have acted so carelessly. but although rook is responsible for ghilly and edgar breaking free, rook is not responsible for the their actions following that freedom, and rook is not at fault for being put into an impossible situation (the need to stop solas's ritual) without all of the information on what the ritual was and what stopping it might incur. however, the double blight is rook's fault in the same way that the veil, the fall of the elvhen empire, elven mortality, and every demon's existence is solas's fault; which is to say, it is and it is not. solas was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for the good of the world when he imprisoned the evanuris and blight with the veil. rook was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for what they thought was the good of the world when they interrupted solas's ritual. but while solas feels immense guilt and responsibility for the choice he made, rook feels.... absolutely none. and the game tells us that... they're right? people should just not take accountability for anything? i will give credit where it's due here that varric's contribution to this scene is quite good and his line where rook tries to take responsibility for his death and varric says smth like "no, that was my own choice and you dont get to take that from me" is B A N G E R. WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY IN THE REST OF THIS FUCKING GAME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

THAT was the lesson solas needed to learn, not that his regret was wrong but that it was MISPLACED!!!!!!!!! and that is why it is mythal acknowledging that their burden is shared and not his alone is the culmination of his entire story and what finally allows him to move on. pride stands alone, wisdom seeks out the input of others to make an informed and wise decision. this is also why he leaves such breadcrumbs for the inquisitor (a high approval one, at least) because he respects their opinion and their input and their existence and the way they treat him turns him back into wisdom from pride. this is why a romanced inquisitor mentions his name being pride and how its possible that hes not even CAPABLE of changing his mind because it would be so against his nature, and he needs someone whose opinion he values to show him the way. his flaw is his SELF INFLICTED LONELINESS!!!!! NOT HIS REGRET. varric even fucking says this in some random banter you get with his ghost in the infirmary but im too lazy to go find it on my desktop. its something about how he sees attachments as a weakness rather than a strength. his pride causes him to take on responsibility that is not his, his wisdom -> pride corruption has led him to believe he is the only one capable of fixing the world's problems and he will destroy both himself and those he loves in the process. he asserts that he is just a man but is unable to stop making decisions for the world like a god.

THIS is the solas/rook foil that should have been: rook relies on their friends and that reliance is ESSENTIAL; after all, the neve/bellara and davrin/harding sacrifice is essential to win. in contrast solas refuses to rely on anyone, and this isolation makes him increasingly cruel. when he has no one to mirror the way a spirit should, he becomes Pride, too proud and too god-like. his attachments make him more human. he is terrified of depending on others and will kill them rather than risk the vulnerability of dependence after what it has done to him (mythal, felassan). he has to unlearn this avoidance and fear, he has to admit that there "could have been a better way" that someone else saw and he did not. he must learn that he does not have all the answers. he is not Pride. its NOT that rook doesnt experience regret and doesn't take accountability for mistakes while solas is trapped by his own regrets. the message we got instead is so incoherent. but it was SO CLOSE TO BEING GOOD. the bones of this are littered everywhere in both the game and in the datamined content and for some reason it just could not be brought together in a way that makes sense.

the message that rook is "right" and better for not having regrets is genuinely insane, especially when the "regrets" they have to conquer are literally just. other peoples decisions. the fact that rook has the audacity to say to solas that he could never escape the prison while they could so easily because he is trapped by his own regret as if rook is better than him is genuinely so fucking dumb it makes me want to claw my eyes out for having been forced to read it. rook sacrifices nothing and learns nothing. the sacrifices within the game belong to the characters that make them, rook does not order people to their deaths in the same way that solas or even THE INQUISITOR do. rook never is asked to grapple with the fact that they ACCIDENTALLY unleashed a double blight, no matter how good their intentions. WHY DOES NO ONE BLAME THEM FOR THIS???? regardless of if it is their fault or not, the objective truth of fault does not matter, what matters is that you make decisions and PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR THEM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO THESE GAMES JEHRGJKREHGJKRHG. this is what the entire game is about doing to solas. judging him. based on his choices. and the game clearly wants you to have empathy for him in the end. but its so OBVIOUS that the vessel for building up that empathy should have been ROOK EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! THE SAME JUDGEMENT!!! THE SAME GROWTH!!!!! FEELING THE BURDEN OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. FEELING THE DREAD OF GUILT AND SHAME AND REGRET. TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR INTENTIONS!!! I DIDNT MEAN TO I DIDNT MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! LEARNING THAT THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT BUT THEY ALSO HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE FORWARD!!!!!! HELLO!??!?!?!?! they BARELY even express remorse for the treviso/minrathous sacrifice, even when faced with neve/lucanis's anger they just go "a decision had to be made and i made it". well. YEAH? LIKE YEAH THATS RIGHT BUT HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS??? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A PERSON, NOT A BLANK SLATE VIDEO GAME PROTAGONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD!!!! YOU MADE A DECISION THAT RESULTED IN PEOPLE DYING. ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS. ITS KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT. HOW IS ROOK JUST BORN BEING OK WITH THIS. ITS SO ROBOTIC AND ARTIFICIAL LOL

rooks actions are such a clear, perfect parallel to solas putting up the veil and the guilt that haunts him afterwards that i KNOW it was intended that way and somehow it just got completely shafted. it literally feels like they did have a coherent parallel going and for some reason were forced to change directions last minute and thus we got some mish mashed barely cobbled together incoherent nonsense with clear echoes of its former self. instead rook has no flaws, makes perfect judgements at all time, has unconditional support from all of their friends who also make perfect judgements, are immune to making mistakes, and the message is its actually just really easy to not have regrets if you just choose right every time and refuse to take responsibility for anything as long as you had good intentions :D

[pinacoladamatata]

haha what if we were both chillin in the fish room at ur lighthouse and we kissed haha jk,..,. unless

[hiddenbeks]

i've been thinking about what andrale and celyn are doing and whether they're even alive during veilguard and i think i've finally figured it out.. i don't think andrale would leave to seek a cure for the taint. she struggled against her fate for so long and was incredibly bitter about being conscripted but eventually made peace with it. she cheated death once thanks to morrigan but knows her days are numbered nevertheless and decides to value whatever time the ritual gave her. after the events of awakening she remains the warden-commander but since the blight is over she isn't needed on active duty. so she often leaves vigil's keep to travel or to stay with her clan or whatever but always comes back to ensure the wardens are well and to help train recruits and all that. leaving everyone and everything behind to go on an expedition in the far west searching for a cure that may or may not exist would go against all her development i think. when her calling comes she will go peacefully knowing she lived a meaningful life and made the most of what time she had :) i think she will be somewhat relieved as well. even though she learns to enjoy life again she will always carry the horrors of the blight with her and it will never be the same and she would never be the same even if she was cured. she is a warden and a warden's end is the only end for her!

celyn on the other hand. she is never satisfied she always wants more. she's very eager to join the wardens despite andrale's warnings that the joining could be fatal and that even if she survives being a warden is essentially a slow death. celyn is like yea whatever it beats going back to the circle so she chugs the darkspawn blood, survives, and joins the wardens. at some point andrale assigns celyn to assist avernus with his research and has her take over after avernus passes away. the reality of being a grey warden soon hits celyn and she reallyyyyy doesn't want to die an early death after finally getting out of the circle. so she pores over avernus' writings and figures out how to slow the decay of her body with blood magic the way he had. but it's not enough because even avernus succumbed to the taint eventally. and celyn doesn't want that for herself. where andrale is focused on what is celyn is more interested in what could be... and the taint could be cured maybe... so celyn is the one who decides to take things even further. she is determined to prolong her lifespan by any means and willing to risk everything for the chance to permanently cure the taint!!

[anakinh]

finished trespasser. honestly... really good? although i find it funny that teagan was repeating some of the same shit i complained about. I never actually played trespasser - I finished the game without the dlc first, and wasn't impressed enough to play it again (also, i just suck at replaying bioware games in general. i can do it every 3 years or so. (poor mass effect legendary edition.)) anyway i bought trespasser on sale years ago. back then people were complaining about teagan's rants against the inquisition but listen. listen. he's right.

anyway this i really liked. my inquisitor and solas finally had a conversation with actual emotions (which is probably the only time during the romance where i felt like there was an actual emotional connection and a romance. it was nicely done, if a bit late). there was a great sense of urgency at the end. I liked the battle with ataashi for having interesting mechanics i will steal for d&d. cassandra's narration at the end was hilarious.

edit: actually, one loud complaint. what the fuck was that harlequin game. why would i waste time on that

[adler-obsessed]

god. Vivienne really is just. that character. She is taken to the circle so young she does not remember what her parents even looked like and someone had to tell her. She wouldn’t even know if they were telling the truth. She is ruthless, the terror and nightmare of the Orlesian court. She almost weeps when you find the Tranquil skulls in Redcliffe. She hates drop waists. She is harrowed younger than any other mage in living memory. She teaches Bull the steps to the dance of the six candles. He likens her to a Qunari dreadnought that has half the enemies on the ground before he’s even reached the front line. Her accent’s not Orlesian. No Free Marcher can tell where she is from either. Is her original voice another part of herself she cut off? She enchanted a duke within one meeting and they scandalised even Orlesian society. She was good friends with his wife. They possibly fucked too. No can control her. She’s been owned since the moment she was first brought to the Circle. She belongs to no people. There are a dozen leashes around her neck claiming otherwise. She makes fun of an elven god for setting his coattails on fire.  She is on the verge of banishing Cole back to the Fade all the time. She can’t help but grow to care for him at the end despite her best efforts to pretend otherwise. She hates herself for it. She thinks caring makes you weak. During the first conversation you have with her unmasked as a Trevelyan, she begs to know if you also cared about her childhood friend, Lydia. She tries to import illegal fur into Skyhold. Did she kill everything soft within her soul herself or did the Chantry sisters do it for her? She is impossible to prank. Some might say she’s even better than Sera at pranking. She was pulled into the game by the time she was nineteen. She’d faced worse things since she could first remember her dreams. Life has never been fair. One merely needs to be hard enough to survive. The blade at her neck when she lay on the floor of the harrowing chamber was no different from the hunger in her belly as child, a necessary pain that only drove her forward. Maker, was there ever any chance that she did not see cruelty as simply another word for life? Is there any version of her that does not end up surrounded by moral filth? 

[simpforsolas]

So I've seen a some discussion of people both criticizing and defending the DATV companions for being nice to each other. And I think the arguments from both sides are being a little bit misconstrued, which is honestly understandable. I think that often when something bothers us in fiction, it's hard to put into words exactly what it is. So as we try our best to express ourselves, it may not end up getting to the point of what the issue actually is (this is also why it can be tough for writers to properly address criticism - the readers providing the criticism might not be accurately diagnosing the root of the problem, so their attempts to fix it are shallow and don't actually address the issue).

Now I obviously don't speak for everyone, but I do think that a good amount of the people saying they want the DATV crew to be meaner don't actually mean they literally just want people to be rude and insulting each other for no reason. I think it boils down to three things that the new crew was missing:

Inability to really feel how the companion's backstories form their unique worldview

Lack of conflict between companions

Limited relationship dynamics between Rook and the companions

Inability to feel how companion's backstories form their worldview

In previous Dragon Age games, the characters frequently discussed and argued topics of philosophy, faith, politics, and beliefs. They came from all different backgrounds. You had Morrigan, a hedge mage raised to believe in self-preservation, teaming up with an Andrastian circle mage and former templar. Their beliefs and worldviews are, at their core, at odds with each other. The game doesn't necessarily try to make you believe one way or another, it simply drops you into the world and allows you to interact with these character, see their interactions with each other, and draw your own conclusions. In Dragon Age Inquistion, you have Cole, a spirit of compassion, teaming up with Vivienne, who believes the circle teachings that spirits are demons and want to possess people, and Sera, who represents the perspective of the common people that are afraid of all things magical or fade-related. You have Solas, a staunch individualist who believes in freedom for all, Cassandra, a faithful Andrastian who follows her own inner compass even when at odds with the institution of the Chantry, and Iron Bull, a Ben-Hassrath agent who believes in the Qun not because he's a philosopher and has decided that's what works best, but because that's how he was raised and so far, the Qun has worked for him. So in previous Dragon Age titles, you have people whose worldviews and beliefs are fundamentally at odds with each other, and whose actions and dialogues are a direct result of those beliefs. Veilguard really downplayed the importance of religion in Thedas, which isn't necessarily a problem in and of itself. In DA2, the only companion with strong religious beliefs is Sebastian. However, you had Anders who believed strongly in mage liberation, Fenris, who believed strongly in the dangers of magic, and Isabela, whose lack of belief and lack of respect for religion/beliefs led to one of the game's biggest conflicts. Discussion of religion and philosophy was always a huge part of the Dragon Age games, so when they almost entirely removed that element and didn't replace it with other types of belief that could lead to meaningful differences of opinion, we were just left with nothing of substance to really talk about. This isn't saying that the companions don't have things they believe in, but it's just not the same as characters from previous games. In general, their backgrounds don't form a unique worldview that results in differences of opinions and interesting conflict. Which brings my to my next point:

Lack of conflict between companions

There's a huge spectrum between "everyone is friends and always gets along" and "everyone hates each other and is happy when their ally is sold into slavery." In fact, fans often get really into fictional relationships that have quite a bit of conflict. Speaking for myself, I love relationships where two people may fight or disagree, but they truly care for one another and would willingly put themselves in harm's way to protect one another. So I think when a lot of people say the companions get along too well, they don't necessarily mean that they want them to all hate each other (maybe some do). They mean that they just want there to be interesting interpersonal conflicts. (I personally would love for a companion pair to argue a lot, but when it comes down to it, they actually really care about each other) Why do we want this? Well first, conflict just makes things more interesting. But I think that it also ties into point 1. In this game, the companions simply don't seem passionate enough about what they believe to argue for it, or, if they are, there's not anyone who challenges their beliefs and forces them to defend their position. I would say that Emmrich is very passionate about his love for spirits and necromancy, two things which are seen as weird and dangerous by most people in Thedas. However, there's almost no chance for him to passionately argue for his worldview because no one challenges it. There is that one scene with Taash finding his passion for working with the dead creepy, but as soon as the issue comes up, it's resolved. Compare that to Solas, where a big part of his characterization is love for spirits and frustration with fear and ignorance leading people to discriminate against what they don't understand. Having to face opposition to his beliefs, both in the world and within the inquisitor's inner circle (and sometimes the inquisitor themself), gives the writers the opportunities to emphasize core parts of his characterization.

On a final note for this section, it's just more interesting when different pairs of companions have unique relationships with each other. Solas and Cole's wholesome, mostly conflict-free friendship is made sweeter because you can compare it to Solas and Sera's relationship. It makes the relationships more meaningful when you can contrast it to how those same people click or don't click with other companions.

Limited relationship dynamics with Rook

The final issue I want to talk about is how all this ties into Rook. In previous games, you could learn a lot about a character's beliefs by seeing what they approved and didn't approve of. Anders approves of supporting mages, Fenris doesn't. Leliana approves of compassion for strangers, Morrigan doesn't because why should she help people who can't help themselves, and also it's a waste of time. Cole greatly approves of helping people, Solas slightly approves of you asking questions, Cassandra approves of expressing belief in the Maker, and so forth and so on. Then depending on the choices you make, your approval actually makes a difference in how these companions view you as their leader. But in Veilguard... well either the companions don't have strong feelings about things, or Rook isn't allowed to make decisions that oppose the beliefs they do have. Because of this, there's basically no conflict between Rook and the team. From my understanding, worst relationship you can get with the team is "distant boss whose employees don't invite them to their work parties," but that's not the same as Cassandra hating you so much she gets drunk or getting specific rival scenes like in DA2 where companions react entirely differently because Hawke consistently acted in opposition to their beliefs.

Final thoughts

So when people criticize the companions not getting along, I think it's less to do with the fact that people want them to hate each other, and more to do with the fact that we want companions who have a strong worldview shaped by their backstory, and for that worldview being challenged to lead to interesting conflict. Whether that challenge comes from other companions, the world, or Rook themself, I don't care - I just want interesting and meaningful conflict that is arises because the companions are strong characters who believe in something.

[star--nymph]

I think people forget with Cullen, and characters like Cullen, that indoctrination is a thing. We're lucky to live in an age where we have a surplus of access to resources that allow us to think critically on the structures around us, to the point where we overlook that most people won't and haven't. Cullen was raised in a backwater village where the main educators and leaders were Templars. He was likely taught scripture by Chantry Sisters, he possibly learned to read and write through them. From the day he was born, he was being taught to love and obey the Chantry with out question--and the Chantry teaches that Templars are a force of good.

So I ask you, how the hell was Cullen, at eight or thirteen years old, going to learn about the crimes of Templars? How was he going to unlearn propaganda that was fed him to him every day by people he respected and possibly loved? How was he supposed to be aware that this idolized image of Templars being the saviors of the people and even mages was a lie?

And then he gets shipped off, happily, to be trained a Templar. Again, he's put into this position where he's fed nothing but propaganda. He doesn't get a real taste of the Order being corrupted until he's out in Kinloch and he's not sure what the hell to do because what he's seeing isn't jiving with what he's been taught for nearly two decades. So yeah, he tries to justify it, he tries to have his cake and eat it too by reasoning that mages should be treated like people but also the Order wouldn't lie to him, so they must be right to act like this. The Maker always had a plan, right?

If Cullen had been lucky, maybe he could have realized earlier on that the Order was abusing mages, that he had been tricked, he could have gotten out and unlearned the bigotry that was planted inside him.

But then BAM! the Broken Circle happened and I don't see how no one gets how perfect this is for the Order? They now have a templar that is so traumatized by mages, he will literally do and say anything to justify their abuses because now? Now he's afraid.

And remember, after Origins, Cullen becomes so erratic, he has to be sent off to a Chantry to 'even him out'--where he was more than likely manipulated even further by the Chantry to be this blood thirsty agent for them. When he's shipped to Kirkwall, they could have not delivered to Meredith a better second in command.

So yeah, is it really surprising that he says shit like 'mages aren't people like you and me' when we meet him in Kirkwall? Man is sleep depraved by the looks of him, swallowing all Meredith's frenzied rhetoric on blood mages, he's seeing for himself the damage these mages are doing, he's isolated from his family, he has no actual friends, and he's living with C-PTSD among other issues. Even under the best of conditions, none of what he says or does in DA2 is surprising when you put it all together.

And yet, the man still had enough of that idealistic child left in him to realize see that Meredith was going off the deep end and that he should be protecting the mages. That's text. That's in World of Thedas. The reason why Cullen is able to turn on Meredith in the end is because he was able to see, even clouded by his fear and hatred, that what she was doing was wrong.

And all this isn't to excuse Cullen's wrongs. It's weird how every time someone brings up Cullen's history, it's assumed that it's just a justification for his actions. It's not, it's an an explanation. Cullen was a victim of the Order that became an abuser, a tool, and he is responsible for his actions.

But the thing is, by DAI, Cullen is well aware of his sins and he actively works to better himself by leaving the Order and getting off lyrium (which for most people is a death sentence). People can argue all day about whether or not Cullen's arc in DAI redeems him or was satisfying, or if he did enough to 'prove' that he was sorry or--good god--does he deserve redemption in the first place (which is such a Catholic way of looking at shit by the way; no one 'deserves' redemption; you do it to be better or you fucking don't) but the fact is that Cullen says that he wants to be better, that he sees the Order as--at the very least--flawed.

That, yes, he's still unlearning all the bigotry he held as a younger man and he's ashamed that he was like that to begin with.

You can hate him all you like, and whatever, but Cullen's story--intentionally or not--is about a man born into an oppressive society, raised to uphold its beliefs, used and abused by it, and then awakening to those lies and trying to free himself from those beliefs so he could be a better person.

And sometimes I genuinely wonder if the reason so many people hate Cullen is because they themselves might have dealt with something similar in our own oppressive society where they also had to unlearn harmful bigotry and maybe, just maybe, he hits too close to home.

[vigilskeep]

I’m obsessed with bea!! so how did get badasss rogue skills as a little chantry mouse?

her aunt!!

some extra bea lore, to explain the situation: her father was guilty and distant, never wanting to actually pack her off to the chantry or a marriage like he was supposed to, because he regretted what happened to her mother when forced into the wrong life too young. this made bea’s elder half-siblings anxious; he’d married her mother because it was politically advantageous, because she came from a much more powerful family than their mother. as long as bea wasn’t vanished off like a proper youngest sibling, she felt like a threat to their inheritance

as you can imagine, that was a pretty isolating big house to grow up in. she was a little bullied by her siblings when they were younger; she downplays this as kids being kids but she did learn to pick locks because she occasionally got locked in places. when they grew out of that she stopped getting any attention at all, and that was sometimes almost worse. she wasn’t really bold enough or socially gifted enough to seek company outside of the family. she was a lonely kid and she spent a lot of time with books, in the chapel, or with the trevelyan family’s beloved horses. (all trevelyans are horse girls whether you like it or not)

so what bea looked forward to more than anything were breaks from that loneliness: the occasional visits of her aunt.

her aunt was the previous generation’s youngest trevelyan sibling handed off to the chantry, and a templar. butch lesbian, very close-cropped hair, lot of muscle, heavier frown lines than she really should have had at her age. sad-eyed and serious whenever she didn’t realise bea was looking at her. but she was always very affectionate to bea, having been in that position of the youngest just waiting to be sent away. she’s the one who used to call her bea! and a variety of increasingly nonsensical nicknames. “lady bea, lady bug,” she used to say. “my little bumble bea. what have you been up to while i was gone?”

and bea would say, “ummm. reading?”

and her aunt would shake her head. “that’s no good,” she’d say. “that’s no good at all. it’s a dangerous world out there for a little bea, and books won’t protect you. you’d better learn how to sting.”

and bea would say, “but auntie, bumblebees die when they sting, i read about it!” and her aunt would laugh and ruffle her hair and say she was too smart for her own good.

but bea did want to impress her aunt and make her smile when she came, more than anything, so she went very bravely to... someone, maybe a fencing master kept on for her elder siblings, maybe her father or a roguish friend of her father’s, maybe even to one of her elder siblings, and she insisted on being trained. (it would be interesting if it was someone older, who’d also trained her mother, who was of course good enough to be noticed by the wardens.) whoever trained her, they were very grim-faced about it, never letting slip how good she was and insisting it was only the basics of self-defence that she was struggling to reach. not a particularly kind approach, but definitely one that made her work as hard as she did, for better or worse. and she loved the work. it turned out fighting was even better than horseriding for letting her quiet her busy thoughts and just move

i did not expect this response to get as long as it did so to round off this information... it was her aunt, tired of seeing bea pushed aside and kept at home, who insisted on taking her to the conclave to finally go out into the world and see something important happen. naturally, only one of them came back

[utilitycaster]

To elaborate on this post specifically with regards to Worlds Beyond Number, well, Suvi says it all, really:

They love being on my tab, they love having fun, they love being protected by me, but they never listen to me and they don't care.

Because here is the thing. Suvi is of the Citadel, which is part of the Empire. We do not have a full understanding of the geopolitical system but as a rule an empire is participating in conquest; sometimes two empires both exist and attack each other and so the exact scenario gets very gray and complicated but I think we do all agree the Empire is not great.

Suvi is of the Citadel. She holds a position of great privilege within the Citadel. This is in part because her parents were, as far as we know, betrayed and murdered by an enemy of the Citadel (having themselves been, again, based on what we know, reformers and rule-breakers as well as extremely capable spies) and she was adopted by one of their closest friends, who became the Sword of the Citadel.

She is not the Citadel. She is a 20-year old who was primarily raised within it, with all of the above complications of her parents. She is not single-handedly responsible for every action the citadel takes. She is not personally trying to stop Ame or Eursulon, only saying that there will be consequences if they leave. Consequences that she has experienced after Ame ran into the kudzu and Eursulon went after Naram and they all attempted to break Ame's curse; consequences she knows will become more and more dire if she continues to disobey Steel, particularly a direct order; consequences that already resulted in Ame being in a coma for a month. (The court-martial, I will say, is entirely on Suvi; the rest is not).

And in all of those situations: Ame and Eursulon were, as Suvi says, happy to have Suvi's purse pay for room and board, and her wizard's staff open doors, and to be put up and fed at the Chantry, and take the skyships, and train at the Citadel and have a marvelous time there. It's been several days and they could have left sooner, and they didn't. It's very "no ethical consumption under capitalism, which means that I can do whatever I want" rather than like, attempting to make slightly less harmful choices from Ame and Eursulon. Their choices aren't coming from a principled stance against the Citadel and Empire; they are coming from a "well, thanks for all the fun and the safe place to stay and the resources for research but you told me not to do something I wanted to do and I won't wait an hour to try and see if we can come to a solution that works for everyone."

For that matter, they're making these choices in part because of what a wizard of the citadel is saying to them; and yet Suvi's presence was said by that very wizard to be crucial to Ame's survival, and they're still not waiting.

[stepping outside of all of the above and the below: I think all the actions being taken, as a listener, are fucking great because this is D&D and conflict is fun and also all of these characters are like, the equivalent of 20 years old and level 2; this is not me saying Suvi is right and Ame and Eursulon are wrong. Rather, Suvi is no less right or wrong than the others, and she is extremely justified in feeling hurt and angry and that her friends are willing to take and not give.]

Something I've found in a lot of sf stories but especially actual play is a pretty strong and frankly, weird bias within the fandom of exactly this nature, as the linked post said. Someone affiliated with an empire or a power is somehow, as an individual, responsible for every harmful action that power commits. They're brainwashed. They're evil. They don't get it. They just need to come around to the right mentality. And that right mentality is, of course, that of the good rural person with nature magic. They are a leader within their small community and hold an immense amount of power over them - and perhaps beyond - but don't worry, they use it correctly. They're wise and they're right about everything.

Except they're not. They are frequently either idealistic to the point of ignoring the realities of the situation, or very limited in their viewpoint, or do not realize the immense privilege of being in their position as both a person in nigh absolute benevolent power within a small domain and also the only person with that power. Those wise, provincial, nature-based characters rarely understand that to exist within a complex and yes, extremely flawed and even ill-intentioned system like the Citadel is to be, even as a person with privilege within that hierarchy, a cog.

Suvi cannot just leave. She exists within a vast system and she is not stupid or brainwashed for acknowledging the realities of it. I think that yes, a very possible path forward for her is one in which she grows to question the Citadel's practices. I also think that to treat her as the embodiment of this entire empire, or to expect that her only way to be a good person is via a sudden about-face at the cost of everything she has, when she is a level 2 apprentic, is not just overly simplistic but flat-out incorrect. And I think that to assume Ame is objectively correct for not waiting a very brief amount of time for Steel (when, in fact, one could argue she should have left immediately upon being contacted; she had been absent from her duties for months already) is similarly oversimplifying to the point where one's conclusions are no longer useful.

Recall that witches' familiars are said to embody the traits within them that, to be an effective steward of their position, they often must set aside. Ame has been letting hers lead her.

[anneapocalypse]

On Cullen's Earnestness

In my current playthrough of Dragon Age: Inquisition, this one early war table quest caught my eye that I think offers a good bit of insight into Cullen’s character.

In “Truth or Dare: The Imperial Court,” Vivienne alerts Josephine to a letter she’s received from an acquaintance, purporting to “warn” Vivienne of the suspect company she has taken up in joining the Inquisition. The letter reads thus:

My dearest Vivienne,

You cannot have heard the shocking allegations against the Inquisition, or surely you would never have been seen with them. Allow me, as a friend, to open your eyes. People are saying that Divine Justinia is, indeed, alive, but that the Inquisition—her closest advisors and most trusted servants—have orchestrated all this chaos on her orders. That it was Seeker Pentaghast and Sister Nightingale who sabotaged the Conclave in order to eliminate the opposition within the Chantry, and cut off the heads of the mage rebellion and templars in a single stroke. To save your own reputation, you must escape this acquaintance immediately.

With deepest concern, Vicomtesse Elodie de Morreau

In the context of the Game, we may understand that this Vicomtesse, while she may call Vivienne a friend, likely has no great concern for her reputation.

The Inquisition is the horse on which Vivienne is betting in order to better her own position (which is considerably shakier than she lets on, but that’s another post); Vicomtesse Elodie is simply making a different bet. If Vivienne heeds her warnings, and the Inquisition never achieves public favor, then Elodie’s advice was correct and Vivienne is indebted to her. If Vivienne heeds her warnings and the Inquisition does gain public acclaim, then Elodie has disrupted Vivienne’s opportunity for advancement, and she also wins. And if Vivienne does not heed her advice and the Inquisition remains a pariah, Elodie gets to watch Vivienne go down with it, smugly saying “I told you so.” Only if the Inquisition thrives and Vivienne with it does Elodie lose this bet—and Vivienne is clearly interested in seeing that outcome, and helping it come about.

The important thing is that the specifics of the accusations against the Inquisition are absolutely irrelevant here. This conspiracy theory about Justinia being secretly alive and the Left and Right Hand doing a sabotage to secure Chantry power—it’s all nonsense, and I doubt the Vicomtesse truly believes it. More critically, she likely does not care whether it is true. Repeating this rumor is just a means to a desired outcome.

If you’ve ever argued with a conspiracy theorist who seemed to simply change their position every time you backed them into a rhetorical corner, you may have realized that facts are largely ineffective at combating this sort of thing.

And of the three advisors, Cullen is the only one to get hung up on the content of the rumor, rather than its source and its purpose. Josephine and Leliana, seasoned players of the Game, both recognize this stupid rumor for what it is. Both of them ignore the substance of it and instead focus on its purpose: turning public opinion against the Inquisition. Josephine proposes to combat it by seeking noble favor elsewhere and leaving it to those allies to do the work of actually arguing against the rumors. Leliana is more interested in finding out with whom the rumor originated.

Leliana also makes the particularly savvy observation that if they were to combat the rumor by attempting to prove Justinia’s death, they would simply be providing their opponents more ammunition to use against them later. Leliana recognizes that “The Divine is alive, and you’re hiding her!” isn’t an earnest accusation, it’s bait. And if you take the bait, if you say, “Actually the Divine did die; here’s her remains to prove it,” then your enemies can say, “Aha! And how do you know she’s dead? It’s because you people killed her!” Or, best case scenario is they just bait you into wasting a lot of your time proving the accusation false, which is exactly what happens if you let Cullen take the bait.

Again, you might have had a similar experience if you’ve ever tried to “debate” a person whose strategy is making outrageous claims, letting you waste a lot of time earnestly debunking them, and then ignoring all your arguments and simply making another, equally outrageous claim.

In Cullen’s case, what happens is poor Knight-Captain Rylen is tasked with leading a field trip of Orlesian nobles through the grisly ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, while asking them to please not touch the red lyrium, and no, you cannot take a charred corpse home as a souvenir, please milord I must ask you not to touch the red lyrium. I’m sure that was an excellent use of everyone’s time and resources.

But it’s easy to understand why Cullen responds this way! It’s a very instinctual and human response! “Well, you’ve just said a thing that is very obviously untrue. I’ll prove to you that it’s untrue! And this will solve the problem of you being wrong, and then we can all move forward together. Right?”

It’s an eminently reasonable response, so long as you assume that the other party is being reasonable and engaging with you in good faith.

Cullen assumes they are. Josephine and Leliana know they’re not. (Vivienne also knew this; hence her handing the letter over to Josephine to deal with instead of bothering to reply herself.)

And you can probably see how Cullen’s earnestness, his desire to believe that other people are also operating earnestly and in good faith, could lead him down some dangerous paths.

Knight-Commander Meredith was also a conspiracy theorist. The difference is that her conspiracy theories were about people she had near-absolute power over, with terrible consequences. And working under the authority of someone he wanted to believe in, someone he absolutely would have taken as entirely earnest (because in many ways she was earnest, at least in her belief that magic was dangerous and must be controlled), it would have been easy for Cullen to assume she must be acting in good faith, even when his misgivings arose. “She needs a spine of iron to survive her position,” he says to Hawke. And like anyone arguing in bad faith, Meredith could move the goalposts when it suited her. No signs of blood magic discovered? That only proves how well they’re hiding it. The tower must be searched top to bottom. The First Enchanter objects? He must be one of them. Dissent among her own templar ranks? Must be the blood magic controlling their minds. As Dan Olson puts it in his video In Search of a Flat Earth, conspiracy theories make facts subservient to outcomes, which is why the "facts" can easily be rearranged and discarded at will—all that matters is the actions those facts justify.

Of course Meredith’s beliefs were, again, quite different—more dangerous, and far more earnestly held than this silly Orlesian rumor about the Inquisition. She was also under the influence of red lyrium at the height of her paranoia. But conspiracy theories often feed on paranoia, and Meredith’s beliefs were still ultimately beliefs that could be bent to justify the outcome she (and her superior, Grand Cleric Elthina) desired: mages must be controlled, whatever the cost.

Cullen has managed to extricate himself from Meredith’s mindset. But he hasn’t yet learned, I think, that conspiracy theories and irrational beliefs can’t be overcome simply by reason. That’s also very understandable for someone in his position. When you’re in the process of overcoming some very wrong beliefs yourself, things you earnestly believed, it’s very natural to want to believe that everyone else is just as earnest and can be persuaded; in fact, you have a personal stake in believing that, because if other people can be redeemed, that means there’s hope for you.

Do I think this justifies the things Cullen was complicit in during his time as a templar, or any misguided opinions he may voice during his time with the Inquisition? No, that’s not why I’m saying all this. But I think it’s an interesting aspect of his character and one worth exploring. Cullen is often characterized as the blunt instrument advisor, his answer to most war table questions being “send troops”; in Josie’s words “the hammer for whom every problem looks like a nail.” But I think some of his offered solutions do offer compelling insights into his character, and this one certainly does—as well as an interesting example of how this approach to the world and other people can go wrong.

[mumms-the-word]

Yet another Veilguard update with the usual good, the bad, the ugly, and the me freaking out about minor references and callbacks haha

This one is very long sorry

So since the last update I have done as much side content as possible before heading to the Hossberg Wetlands and later Weisshaupt (which I just completed last night) which included, briefly, unlocking all of the solas regrets murals

And uh WOW was that whole deep dive a doozy. I definitely should have spaced out the murals over time rather than movie-marathoned them back to back. But the things I learned about Solas…it’s insanity

In a good way

In a really horrifying way

I loved that our theories about Solas being a spirit of Wisdom first were confirmed, and I lost my mind over the fact that the first elves were spirits who gained physical bodies by taking Titan blood (aka lyrium). And the fact that Solas CREATED THE BLIGHT by essentially making the Titans Tranquil?? And that’s why Dwarves don’t dream????

Losing my mind. Solas what have you DONE.

I still ahev to process it all haha but I do have a few thoughts

So far, I wish there was more engagement with these elements and the Chant of Light. The companions react and say that these reveals basically dismantle Andrastianism but the Chant has several allegorical parallels to what, apparently, really happened. The Maker’s first children were spirits, and all that…so I kind of wish the Chantry had a bigger presence in the game with more reactivity

But that’s a post for another day. For now, I reloaded back to only 3 murals unlocked so the team only knows the story up to Solas creating the Veil. I’ll rewatch the others later.

I got worried about being locked out of stuff so I went ahead and did as much side content as I could with a couple of exceptions. Turns out, I probably didn’t need to do that and it would have made more sense narratively if I hadn’t. More on that in a minute

The Siege of Weisshaupt mission was SO GOOD!! Like…the main missions are really where this game shines, I think. I have gripes with some of the companion conversations, but in the actual story missions, the action, the intensity, all of it is so good. And I thought Ghilan’nain turning her archdemon into a many-headed hydra creature was *chefs kiss* so cool. I love fighting big/unique stuff like that!

All that said the follow up scene with the team at the table leaves…a lot to be desired

Listen, DA games pride themselves on bringing together a team of companions that players adore and fall in love with. Naturally we enjoy helping out our companions because we like them. We don’t have to be told to help them because we just generally do that…and if we don’t then, rip, suffer the consequences

So I got a bit annoyed when the scene suddenly turned to a very overt “fix our problems” narrative

I don’t know, that feels so…forced to me. Varric literally tells me I have to solve everyone’s problems. Which is like…I was going to! Because they’re my friends! But being straight up told like “hey you have to solve everyone’s problems and stop their distractions or this team isn’t going to function” is like…I’m sorry are we adults or aren’t we? Why am I being told to babysit the team? Can you guys not pursue these distractions on your own rather than wait for me to give you permission? Did we all forget that two gods are out there rampaging? That they’re strong enough to destroy a fortress that stood against the blight and various conflicts for over 900 years? That they haven’t stopped and show no signs of stopping anytime soon?

But no, by all means, tell me in very obvious terms that my job is now to reconcile all your differences before I face the gods again. That doesn’t feel very handed at all.

Let me be clear. I love to help my companion. I love the idea that you build a team that works well because you have shaped them via your leadership skills. I love the idea that your team works well because you have invested in them. That’s really the heart of any DA game—gather your team, earn their loyalty, and see how well the friends you’ve made along the way assist you in the big battles to come.

But…that scene around the kitchen table could have been so much better, so much more nuanced, and far less “Solve their problems.”

To me, that scene should have been everyone fighting, calling out everyone’s distractions and mistakes, and essentially devolving into outright arguments over the table until Rook yells at everyone to shut up. Everyone is mad, everyone is upset. And then maybe the companions are like “sorry Rook, listen, I have a lot on my mind. I’m still going to help with the Big Problem but I’m also going to pursue this Other Thing whether you like it or not.” No suggestion that it’s now your problem to solve, but a heavy hint that it might get done more quickly if you help (which also gives you room to be an ass and not help). In this scenario, everyone ends up being very disgruntled with you, but you still have your hint that you need to pursue companion questlines if you want to see their cool abilities or special items or get them to be a Hero of the Veilguard or whatever…but that’s just my opinion

Basically I wanted subtly and tension. So much more tension.

What we got instead was a couple of annoyed comments and then Emmrich being like “oh dear we’re all distracted by the things that bother us” and everyone offering up distractions that, yes, need to be resolved…but it’s very easy to be like “hey bud the Hand of Glory and the Nadas Dirthalen can wait until the gods aren’t threatening to destroy the world I think.”

It’s not the worst scene in the world, but it could have been reframed better. Either frame it as “Sorry Rook but none of these factions trust you enough to aid you in the fight, you have to prove yourself to them” (and loop in the companion questlines that way) or show your team literally unraveling because they can’t get along or agree with you—now you see the evidence of what you need to fix, and nobody has to outright tell you to “solve everyone’s distractions.” It’s just implied. Because you saw them fighting. A lot.

Like duh I knew I’d have to resolve everyone’s problems if I want them to like me or stick around! That’s just what I’ve come to expect from RPG games like this. It’s an expectation of the genre. But I don’t want to be told that’s my job now. If anything it triggers my contrarian nature and now I want to see what bad ending I get when I don’t listen to the game’s extremely heavy push for me to deal with everyone’s issues

I won’t, but I’m tempted

I just…wanted it to be better. I want see everyone bitching at each other until everyone leaves in a huff and Rook just sits at the table, head in their hands like “oh my god everyone hates me and they hate each other and we’re going to die if everyone can’t get their shit together”

Then maybe Varric sits down next to them and goes, “Hey kid, did I ever tell you about the time Hawke tried to convince a Rivaini pirate, a weird abomination, a Dalish blood mage, a stiff-necked captain of the guard, a broody elf who glowed in the dark, and a few other friends besides to all agree to fight as a team to stop a qunari invasion in Kirkwall? It worked, more or less. By the end of the night, everyone had worked together enough to end up with one dead Arishok and an entire city’s gratitude.”

Maybe Rook looks up and says, “And how’d they manage that little miracle? Without everyone trying to kill each other in the process.”

And maybe Varric smiles and shrugs. “They had their differences, trust me. Half the time you couldn’t put two of them in a room together without a fight breaking out. But they all believed in one thing. They believed in Hawke.”

Then maybe there’s a pause, as he lets Rook consider that for a moment, before he stands up and says, “It’s a good bedtime story, in any case. I’ll let you sleep on it.”

Sigh. It just would have been cool…

Now in all fairness the scene felt even clunkier because I had actively been doing side quests and helping out my friends so it was like…it felt weird to have this implication that I’m not already helping them. It makes me think I shouldn’t do any of their side quests until after the Siege of Weisshaupt but who knows

I keep pendulum swinging back and forth between moments of brilliance and moments that leave me baffled and wondering who made some of these narrative/writing calls. I don’t hate the game by any stretch of the imagination. Like I said the Siege of Weisshaupt was amazing! And I loved the callbacks to precious games! You should have seen me live reacting and screaming about codexes in the Weisshaupt library haha But it’s like whiplash when something that good is followed up by a scene that feels excessively more hamfisted in comparison.

Anyway I am very busy this weekend and dunno when I’ll get to write another update soooo if you’re following for more, hope to give you more updates in the near-ish future!

[bitethedemon]

Daggers, Poison, and Shiny Things (Lucanis x Reader x Illario): Chapter 1

Next Chapter ->

Link to this fic on AO3

Tags: Slow burn, De Riva Reader, Eventual Smut, Messy Love Triangles

Fic summary: You lost everything in Rivain: your family, your home, and your hopes of ever becoming a seer. Treviso offered you revenge, but you were not prepared for the loneliness you would find amongst the Crows. The busiest assassin in Antiva became your only friend. That is, until he died and left you alone to pick up the pieces of yourself and his devastated cousin.

Imagine then, that your dead old flame shows up after a year, very much alive, with a very loud demon at his side and a hot new boss, while you have to explain that you are now dating his cousin. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

(A really messy Lucanis/Named!Reader/Illario love triangle set in Treviso. Lucanis/Rook isn't the main relationship, but reader is jealous as fuck about them)

You had been called River amongst the Crows for so long that you had almost forgotten your real name. It had been a stupid joke from when you were just a fledgling that had stuck. ‘The Rivaini de Riva’ had at some point turned into ‘River de Riva’, and that became who you were. Viago would always say that you were just as unruly as your namesake too.

Viago had found you in a sanctuary for the poor in Treviso five years ago.

…well…

That was the official story you had been ordered to tell the others and especially Teia. The real story was that he found you in a whorehouse. You were barely a human being by the time he found you. You had spent months in captivity by the Antaam.

They had burned down your village, killed everyone, and taken everything from you. They brought you with them to Treviso, but they were unsure what to do with you. It was bad luck to kill a seer, though the same superstition had not bothered them when they killed your grandmother, your mother, and all of your sisters.

However, you were not going to point out the flaws in their logic or tell them that you never got to finish your training. You needed to stay alive so you could get your revenge.

You used your time wisely. The elders of your village had always praised you for being observant, and by the gods you were going to mentally note down every word your captors said, how they said them, were they went, when they came to your cell, when they left, when they took a shit. Everything.

Viago kept an eye on you in the meantime and when they gave you over to the whorehouse, he swept in and presented revenge to you on a silver platter. The information you gave over to the Crows resulted in the downfall of the camp that had taken you. You became a de Riva that same day.

The Antivan Crows had not forgotten that the organization had roots stemming from the Chantry though. It was a tough pill for a lot of the Crows to swallow. They looked at you and saw a savage witch that spoke to demons and let spirits possess her. You did not fit in.

Even worse, you were utter shit with a dagger, much to the dismay of Viago. You were hopeless as a fledgling. Viago even hired mages to teach you more ‘appropriate’ magic, such as the way of the Spellblades, but with no luck.

You were no good at following orders either, having never been used to taking orders from a man because of the matriarchal society in Rivain. It was driving Viago up the wall. The two of you were constantly fighting and it was a wonder that he did not give up on you entirely.

He stopped your training after you had learned the mere basics. Instead, you took to poison-making. That was what you found out that you were good at, so you were left to do just that. You liked that better anyway. You were left to do what you were good at, and Viago did not get grey hair prematurely. Everyone was happy.

Except most of the other Crows, of course. They still kept their distance from you, though it mattered less when you were free to keep mostly to yourself. You had your own little laboratory to study and make poisons for everyone else in.

That was how you met Lucanis.

Lucanis was barely ever around. Being the most expensive assassin the Crows had to offer, he was always busy. You had never even met him until he was one day standing beside you in your laboratory. You had jumped at his presence and almost dropped a vial of wyvern poison on the floor.

“Three vials of Quiet Death, please,” he said politely. “If you’re not busy, of course. I can wait.”

You had blinked at him in confusion. No one ever came into your space except Viago.

“I’m…sorry…who are you?” you asked.

“Oh, forgive me,” he said and bowed his head slightly. “Lucanis Dellamorte. I have a difficult time keeping track of who I have met and not.”

“Oh,” you said quietly and looked him over. “You’re…yeah. I’m River. Sorry. Usually people go through Viago, instead of coming in here…”

“Why?” he asked plainly without a shred of judgment in his voice. “Quiet Death is a simple poison, no?”

Because they all hate me, so Viago hides me away here.

“Because…” you began. You had no answer that didn’t sound pathetic, so you changed the subject. “We are out of Deathroot, unfortunately, but I can make you something else.”

You began looking through the supplies.

“Do you have a weight estimate on your targets?”

He thought for a moment before giving surprisingly specific estimates. It was great to hear someone who knew what they were doing. If you had a gold coin for each time you had heard ‘small’, ‘average’, or ‘big’ as a weight estimate, you would have been a rich woman. Every question you asked was given a detailed answer by him.

He watched you closely as you were working, as if trying to figure out what you were doing.

“What are you making?” he asked in a curious tone.

“It’s uh…a mix of things,” you admitted. “It’s a Rivaini recipe, but I’m improvising a bit since I don’t have all the ingredients. Don’t worry though. It will work.”

“Oh, are you the Rivaini that Viago keeps talking about?”

You gave a tight smile and a small nod.

“That’s me,” you mumbled.

“Your name is River de Riva?” he asked with an amused smile that belied image of the serious master assassin that she had heard so much about. “He is going insane, you know? I have heard him describe you with many colorful phrases.”

“He does that,” you mumbled and carefully dripped the toxin into the vial you were working on.

“He says you can’t fight, but it seems you are good at this,” Lucanis said and watched the careful movements of your hands. “Did he teach you?”

“Well, first of all,” you protested slightly and put a lid on the vial to shake it. “I can fight…just not in any way that he finds acceptable. Secondly, no, poison-making was a part of my training back in my village. Viago just showed me which ones the Crows specifically use, since he doesn’t like me using the Rivaini ones that work perfectly fine. Which is why I never made you this.”

You handed him the first vial.

“Understood,” he said with a smile.

You began shaking the next one and then shook your head.

“Sorry for ranting,” you said. “I rarely get the opportunity.”

“It’s fine,” he said and studied the liquid in the vial. “You promise me that this will work?”

“It will.”

You handed him another vial and shook the last one.

“You said you received training before joining us,” he said. “As what?”

You froze for a second. The conversation was going so well, and this man seemed so nice, and now you were going to ruin it. You were sure of it. You sighed quietly.

“As a seer,” you replied reluctantly. “Though I never finished my training.”

“A seer?” he asked. “Interesting. Why did you stop?”

You look over his face for any trace of judgment. You found none. It took you by surprise.

“I didn’t.”

His brow furrowed ever so slightly at your reply. He didn’t understand. You handed him the last vial.

“My home was destroyed, and my family were killed by the Antaam,” you explained, trying your hardest to not to sound like a sad, pathetic mess. “Seer training can take almost a lifetime, and it’s taught by the women of your family. I am the only one left, so I will never finish my studies…”

His dark eyes softened when he heard, as if the words had hurt him to hear. There was some recognition of pain in his eyes, and you would only understand much later where it came from. He bowed his head slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

He mumbled his thanks for the poisons and promptly left the laboratory. You mentally hit yourself over the head for the entire day for opening up in that way to him.

A couple of days later you found a history book on Rivaini seers on the table in the laboratory when you came in in the morning. It would not help you finish your training, but you appreciated the thought more than anything.

That was the beginning of your relationship with him. You quickly learned that Lucanis was a crow in the literal sense: he left gifts and shiny things. That was his love language. He was not good at talking about his own feelings, though he did not mind talking about yours when the need arose. Lucanis did everything for you to not feel alone.

Half of the things he brought you, you had no idea how he even got his hands on. He would not tell you either. He always brushed away your gratitude. In the beginning it was mostly gifts that he insisted that he had simply stumbled upon. Later, the gifts became more personal. He even learned to cook Rivaini food just for you, which he would bring when he visited.

You adored him. It was hard not to, even though you knew he was simply being nice and that him being a Dellamorte meant that anything beyond friendship was no more than a naïve dream. Family was more important than anything to Lucanis, and he would be damned if you did not feel like you belonged to one, even though he seemed to be the only willing member for a while.

Eventually, more and more of the Crows started accepting you, simply because Lucanis did. You were introduced properly to Illario as well. You had always seen Illario as a rude bastard, but because of his cousin’s interest in you, he began warming up to you too. Illario eventually began flirting despite Lucanis’ interest in you. Or perhaps because of Lucanis’ interest, you realized later.

Either way, Lucanis was not fond of the situation, but he never said anything other than a few friendly warnings to you about how Illario treats women. Lucanis obviously cared and at the end of his life it only became even more obvious.

There had been an event at Villa Dellamorte that someone of your rank would never have attended had it not been because you were friends with Caterina’s grandson. Lucanis, Illario, and you sneaked off to the wine cellar sometime during the evening. At the end of the night, Illario and you were drunk and Lucanis was tipsy too.

You only remembered the night in fragments. You know that Illario flirted relentlessly with you that evening. You didn’t want Illario, but in your drunken stupor, perhaps you reciprocated. You weren’t sure. You only remembered that Lucanis was uncomfortable, torn between not wanting to be there and not trusting Illario enough to leave you alone with him.

You vaguely remembered Illario chuckling into your ear and then feeling his lips on your neck. It was when his hand ran up your thigh that you remembered sobering up and flinching slightly.

“I think I should get you home, River,” Lucanis had said and promptly gotten up from his chair.

You felt Illario huff against your neck before leaving a small bite there. You moved away from his touch.

“Why?” Illario asked and turned his head to look at Lucanis. “We are just having fun.”

“Illario…” Lucanis said firmly.

“She doesn’t want to go home, do you, River?” Illario said and put his arm over your shoulders. “Just a little seer possessed by spirits,” he joked with a smile and looked at Lucanis. “If you are tired, you can go. I will be sure she gets home safe.”

Lucanis looked directly at you.

“Do you want to go home?”

You nodded and got up. You stumbled slightly and Lucanis offered an arm for you to lean on. You did not even have to look back to see the hateful look Illario gave him. You could practically feel the tension in the air.

“You always get what you want, don’t you, Lucanis?” Illario said with disdain. “As if your intentions are any purer than mine.”

Then Illario mumbled something in Antivan that you did not quite catch, but Lucanis certainly did. There came a low growl of anger from him, and he led you to the staircase up and out of the wine cellar before turning to Illario.

“Go upstairs,” he said to you. “I will be with you in a moment.”

You stumbled up the stairs. The second you closed the door you could hear them arguing loudly in what was no doubt very colorful language. You had never heard Lucanis like that before.

When he came up and started to lead you home, he was deadly quiet for the longest time. It made you slightly nervous and you weren’t quite sure what to say.

“Are you..mad?” you asked, slightly slurring the words.

“Yes,” he answered curtly.

Another long pause of silence.

“At…me?”

“No, River,” he said, his tone softening slightly. “Not at you. At Illario. He acts like a child sometimes.”

You nodded and looked at his face as the two of you walked, trying to figure out what he was thinking. You often did without much luck. He noticed you staring and gave you a gentle smile.

“Not far now,” he said.

You kept walking. When you got to your house, you gave him the key. You could barely look straight. He unlocked the door for you to enter. When you saw the staircase up to your room, you gave a deep sigh. Lucanis took the hint and helped you up to your room.

“I didn’t mean to, you know,” you mumbled. “For that to happen, I mean. I don’t—”

Lucanis quickly caught you before you fell backwards down the stairs. He mumbled something in Antivan and held you by your waist from behind like a parent trying to teach a child to walk.

“I don’t even like Illario,” you said, continuing your drunken babbling. “I should have done something…”

“It’s not your fault,” he said and helped you up the final steps.

He opened the door to your room and sat you down on your bed. You looked up at him.

“Thank you for getting me home,” you said. “And even bringing me in the first place. I’m sorry it became such a mess.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” he insisted and pulled the blanket on the bed aside for you to get in. “It’s nothing.”

“You always say that,” you protested. “It means the world to me. Everything you do. I need you to know that.”

He gave you a smile.

“You are drunk, River,” he said and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Can I trust that you won’t throw yourself down the stairs in the middle of the night?”

“I don’t want Illario,” you mumbled.

“You have already said that.”

“I want you.”

His eyes softened at your drunken admission. He looked over your face in almost comical confusion, as if it had not been the most obvious thing in the world that you liked him. His eyes flicked to your lips for a second and you leaned forward.

“No,” he said gently and put his hand on your shoulder to stop you. “No, no. None of that.”

Your heart sank and you must have looked like a beaten puppy to him. His rejection was a knife in your heart. You felt ridiculous for even thinking that might have been where things were going. He gently brushed his hand over your hair.

“Not like this,” he said gently. “Goodnight, River.”

He squeezed your shoulder and left.

You had kept on replaying that night over and over in your head. The mental hangover had been insane. It did not help that you did not hear from him for about a week after. When he finally came, it was early in the morning, and he sneaked up on you in your laboratory. You weren’t sure what to say when you saw him.

You tried to say something, to get any word out of your mouth, but without any luck. You became even more speechless when he walked right up to you.

“I have been thinking,” he said. “Since last time.”

At least five excuses were already at the tip of your tongue, waiting to spill out in a jumbled mess.

“Did you mean it?” he asked gently.

The excuses died on your tongue before they could ever make it out. You couldn’t lie. Not to him. You swallowed hard and nodded, readying yourself for another rejection. It never came.

Instead, he looked at you with those warm eyes of his and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

You froze completely for a long moment. When he broke the kiss, you finally snapped back into reality and leaned in to kiss him again properly. Your heart hammered in your chest. You felt truly alive for the first time since you arrived in Treviso.

It was only a week later that he died.

You were inconsolable. To have everything taken from you, just to be given a sliver of light in your life and then have it be taken away again. The only other person you could talk to who would understand was Illario, who was trying his hardest to drink himself to death. You and Illario found an odd solace in each other during that time.

Though even when you started dating him, it did not fill the hole in your heart of losing Lucanis.

In the evenings you would sneak off to read all the books Lucanis’ had given you on seer magic. You learned to contact spirits, but you could not find the one spirit that you wanted to talk to. Needed to talk to.

This obsession only made you feel even worse. You were Illario’s now, but even then, you were still obsessed with the man who he had been forced to compete with his entire life. Even in death, Illario lived in Lucanis’ shadow. The guilt kept you up some nights, but you could just not let him go. There was no closure.

It had been over a year now.

You were hunched over a tome on seer family lines in the laboratory, when you really should have been working instead. You kept reading the books he had given you. You weren’t sure why. Perhaps, you simply felt as if it was a way to honor him.

“River,” you heard softly from behind you.

You quickly shut the book closed and stashed it under a shelf. You fiddled with some equipment, so it looked like you had been working.

“What do you need, Illario?” you asked.

“River,” the voice called again.

It sounded odd. As if he was sick or something. The tone was all wrong. He sounded like Lucanis, you realized.

You felt a hand on being laid softly on your shoulder and you turned around. You turned white as a sheet and time seemed to stop.

You clasped your hands over your mouth and your legs gave in. You slid down to the floor and looked up at him. You couldn’t breathe. You frantically reached out to touch his leg to check if he was solid or just a figment of your imagination, and then you sobbed.

He crouched down and you clung to him.

“I thought—”

“I know,” Lucanis said and squeezed your arm.

As you were crying your eyes out, a grating, hissing voice flowed through your ears all of a sudden.

“Smells like earth. Poison roots and wyvern spit.”

Your eyes darted up and widened. Behind Lucanis stood a copy of him with grey skin and eyes that glowed purple. You knew immediately what that was. It smiled at you.

“Seer!” the demon said with excitement. “She sees. Hears…”

Your mouth fell slightly agape. Lucanis looked at you.

“You can see him?” he asked urgently.

“By the gods, Lucanis…” you mumbled quietly and looked into his eyes. “Who did this to you?”

“Help us. Now,” the demon said.

[seigephoenix]

Welcome to DADWC!! How about “Knowing someone else can hear” from the smut prompts for anyone you’d like?

Happy Friday!! For @dadrunkwriting I chose Briar Amell and Cullen for this one. It also got away from me a lot. XD I simply can't seem to write smut without feeling or some buildup.

Content Warning: dirty talk, face sitting, p in v, fingering, old feelings come up again Length: ~2.6k words

The first thing she saw upon entering Skyhold was a familiar head of curly hair.  Her lips dropped open in a perfect O as she spotted him, older than the last time they’d met.  She couldn’t help but note how well he carried himself but was he still a Templar?  She remembered seeing him get so flustered when she flirted with him.  He’d turn such a brilliant shade of red and stumble over himself with excuses.  Then that one passionate night where he’d caught her reading all alone after midnight.  Words were exchanged as were deep, drugging kisses that led to fumbling around in the dark to prevent anyone else from overhearing them.

Briar had left the Circle not long after that.  She’d been heartbroken to see the hatred in his eyes when she’d returned and saved them from Uldren.  The ice in his eyes had cut her like a physical injury when he’d turned away from her.  She hoped he’d gotten somewhat less bitter towards mages in the last ten years.  Especially if she was going to help this Inquisition.  She’d even gotten a letter from Alistair and Zevran about the organization.  Morrigan had written that she was advising them, and Leliana was always in contact with her.

“Briar?” She paused at the familiar voice.  Leliana seemed stunned to see her standing in front of her.  “I didn’t think my letter reached you!  It’s so good to see you again!” She rushed forward and embraced Briar, pulling her tight.  Briar laughed and returned the hug just as fiercely.

“I wasn’t sure if my response would get here before I did, so I chose to come instead.”  Leliana agreed it would be a toss up given how correspondence went these days.  “Is Morrigan here?”

“Oh yes!  She’s in the garden.  Come, let’s go see her.”  Briar followed along behind Leliana, ignoring the eyes boring a hole in her back.  She’d find him later.

In the Gardens

“By the stars, it truly is you.” Morrigan whispered as the two women approached.  “It is good to see you old friend.”

“Likewise Morrigan.  I’m happy to see you’ve remained safe in these troubled times.” Morrigan nodded and motioned for Kieran to come out.  “Oh my!  You’ve grown up so much!  The last time I saw you, you were just a wee baby.”  Kieran bowed and greeted Briar.  “He looks so much like you Morrigan.  Thank the Maker for that right?” Morrigan choked on her laugh at Briar’s quip.  They knew Alistair was likely sneezing at that point in time as well.

“Let’s get you settled in a room Briar.  I’m sure you’ll be meeting a lot of people soon.”

“I can’t begin to fathom why anyone would want to meet me.  I’m no one special,” Briar said with a twinkle in her eyes as Leliana sent her a warning glare.  Briar simply tucked her hands behind her head and followed Leliana to the guest quarters.  Once she saw her room she set her travel bag down and then went to explore Skyhold.

Battlements

“I thought I recognized you.” Briar turned at his voice and grinned broadly at him.  “You’re still making waves.”

“Ten years later I still remain a thorn in the side of the Chantry.” Briar grinned as he joined her side watching the courtyard.

“Thankfully they’ve more pressing matters to deal with than the woman who threatened to shake their entire existence.”  Briar laughed at the cutting remark.

“I didn’t have quite that much influence.  Though, I will say, whoever said the Wardens don’t involve themselves with politics needs to be shot.”  Briar propped her hands on her hips as she looked up at him.  “What’s this really about Commander?”

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” Briar grinned and shook her head.  “I didn’t think so.”  Cullen paused as he felt the weight of his next words on his tongue.  “I’m sorry.”

“For?” Briar asked as he hesitated.  Cullen was stunned.

“For my words to you back at the Circle.”  She turned her head back towards the courtyard, and he studied her profile.  Briar Amell was always beautiful, he’d long thought that.  Since the first day he’d met her when they’d both been new to the Circle.  Her face held a serene beauty that reminded Cullen of the moon at times.

“Oh.  I was hurt but I couldn’t find it in my heart to really resent you for them.  Not after what you’d been through.”  His eyes widened at the quiet words.  “Do you still think that about me?”  They both left the words he spoke to her years ago hang between them.  Maleficarum.

“No.  I didn’t really think that in my heart either.  I lashed out due to fear.”  Briar nodded; she understood that feeling too well.  She dug her fingers in her upper arms as she fought the longing in her heart.  He’d often been on her mind the past ten years, but she hadn’t been able to spare any time to reach out.  Not after the Circle incident.  Briar dared glance up at him and saw he was looking at her.  Heat flushed her cheeks, and she turned her attention back to the courtyard.

“I’m.  I’m glad you didn’t think that about me.  I’d never turn to blood magic myself.”  Briar tensed for a fraction of a second when he stepped closer to her, she suppressed the shudder.  Just being next to him was excoriating, her body craved his touch even after ten years.  They were both vastly different people than they were in the Circle.  No more an apprentice and a recruit sneaking away for secret rendezvous.  There was much more at stake in their lives now.  His fingers brushed the back of her hand and Briar swore she felt the touch in the very core of her.  Her heart was beating so hard she was worried it would come out of her chest.  Yet anticipation tingled along her nerves, the air was heavy with the tension between them.

They jolted at the raucous from the tavern shattered the tension.  Briar wanted to laugh at how she was acting, like that first time she flirted with Cullen.  She glanced down and saw Hawke stepping out of the tavern, holding the Inquisitor in a vise-like grip as she yelled something at the open door.  She heard Cullen groan next to her and couldn’t stop her laugh.

“I take it that is the Lady Trevelyan I’ve heard so much about?” Cullen looked at her in surprise.

“How did?”

“Turns out Hawke and I are distant cousins.  Our mothers were cousins back in Kirkwall.” Cullen was surprised but then he thought about it.  There wasn’t much of a surprise there.  “He wrote to me when he discovered the connection years ago.  I’ve visited him while he was on the run in Ferelden.”

“That’s where Hawke was?”  Briar simply shrugged as if to say her lips were sealed and he heaved an exasperated sigh.  Things were never boring in Skyhold since Hawke joined Alissa Trevelyan’s side, which was for sure.  “I’m sorry.” Briar burst out laughing at his deadpan delivery.  Her hand grasped onto his forearm as she doubled over in amusement.

“Don’t be sorry for me.” She straightened and wiped the tears from her eyes as she wound down.  “Be sorry for Thedas.”  Cullen was about to respond when he truly thought about it.  The Hero of Ferelden and Champion of Kirkwall were family, no matter how distantly connected, and the Inquisitor was related by marriage.  Cullen chuckled to himself at the thought of that tangle of political connections.  The silence followed held weight between them.

Briar looked up at his face and decided to throw everything to the wind.  Why should she resist when there was so much tension between them?  So long as he agreed, there was no harm.  “Cullen.”  He turned to face her fully and she paused at the heat burst low in her belly.  He’d always been taller than her, but he was so much broader now.  Her mouth went dry at how much bigger he was than she was.  “You feel it too, don’t you?”  His eyes widened and she saw the same hunger in his eyes that she knew was in hers.  “Want to throw caution to the wind and be stupid again?”

Briar let out a startled sound when his arms came around her waist and pulled her against him.  His lips settled against her pulse point in a move that had her fingers digging into his shoulders.  His name came out as a moan.  His hands slid down her body, squeezing her ass through the soft armor before lifting her up by her thighs.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as this put them eye to eye.

“Are you certain?”  Briar nodded and leaned in to cover his lips with hers.  Her hands cupped his cheeks as her teeth tugged at his bottom lip.  His fingers tightened on her thighs, and she wanted to moan.

“Cullen, I’ve waited ten years to feel your hands on me again.”  The admission startled them both, but Briar realized she meant it.  There had felt like something was missing, maybe not something vital to her survival as she did that just fine in the past ten years, but something she ached for was missing.  She realized it was him and everything that came with him.  She squealed when he turned towards his office and room.

Briar giggled as the scouts were ordered to leave, she buried her face in his shoulder to quell the amusement, but she’d never forget their expressions of shock.  “We’ll have to climb up the ladder to my bed.”

“Aww, no fun on the desk?”  Briar teased and sucked in a breath when he backed her against it.  He leaned down and brushed his lips across her ear.

“I’d never be able to do any work without thinking about fucking you on this.”  Her knees went weak and she grabbed his forearms to steady herself.  “And I’ve waited too long to see you in my bed to fuck you here.”  His teeth nibbled the shell of her ear and the soft sound she let out had his hands tensing on her hips.  He stepped back and swept his arm towards the ladder and Briar thought he had more confidence in her legs than she did at the moment.

Briar cleared the ladder and her fingers tugged and pulled until her armor pooled at her feet.  She glanced down at her body and grimaced.  She had more scars than she did at the Circle.  Ten years of fighting darkspawn would do that to you.  Briar jumped slightly when his hands slid around her pulling her back against him, and she noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothing either.  His lips trailed over her ear down to her neck.  She moaned when his teeth pressed down on her pulse point and his fingers dipped between her legs to find her wet and aching for him.

“Maker’s breath but you are beautiful.”  The words had her body clenching around his fingers and her hands reached up for him.  She arched her hips against his hand and Cullen pressed his palm against her aching clit.  His fingers toyed with her as more cries fell from her lips.  “People can hear us you know.”

“Haha, as if that’s stopped us before.”  Cullen groaned as he remembered that night they’d done it beside the First Enchanter’s office.  He hadn’t been able to look the man in the face for a solid week after that.

“Minx,” he whispered against her shoulder as he curled his fingers in her body.  He wanted to taste her, to possess her.  He needed her like he needed his next breath.  Cullen eased his way back towards the bed, taking Briar with him.  He wanted to smile when he moved his hand to her hip and the quiet curse as he left her wanting.

“You’re being a tease.” Briar huffed as she turned to face him.  Cullen merely gave her a warm smile before he sat down on the bed and grasped her fingers.  He tugged her until her stomach was flush with his lips.  Her fingers dove into his hair when his teeth nibbled along her skin.

“As much as I want to feel you around my fingers, I’d rather have you on my tongue.”  Heat pulsed between her legs as the image his words brought up.  She was startled when he leaned back and took her with him.  Her knees pressed on both sides of his waist and her palm splayed across his chest.  Briar didn’t have a chance to protest before he easily lifted her and settled her over his face.

Briar hesitated for a second and yelped when his hands wrapped around her thighs and pulled her right against his mouth.  Her fingers dug into his scalp as his tongue pressed right against her clit.  His name spilled from her lips as the heat coiled tight in her belly.  One hand covered her mouth as she heard the door open downstairs.  Cullen paused for only a second before his attention returned to her.

“Have you seen Cullen?”  Briar recognized the voice of Alissa Trevelyan downstairs.  “I have a report for him.”

“Looks like he finally took a night off.”  Cullen dipped his tongue inside of her hot core as he heard Hawke downstairs.

“Well, he deserves one.  I’ll leave this for him then.”  Briar covered her mouth and tightened her fingers in Cullen’s hair as her orgasm broke.  She couldn’t stop the moans completely and she just prayed the two downstairs didn’t come to investigate.  The waves rolled over her languidly, helped along by his tongue and lips.

“Let’s go.  I don’t like leaving Zephyr for too long.”  Briar’s eyes rolled up in her head as the stars practically exploded behind her eyelids.  She heard the door close and dropped her hand to dig her fingers into the bed by Cullen’s head.

“Fuck, fuck.”  Briar hissed out as he shifted until she was on her stomach.  His weight pressed her down into the bed and she wanted to beg.  His cock touched the inside of her thigh and Briar was this close to losing it.  She arched her hips against him, hinting at him to take the hint.  Cullen’s teeth latched onto her shoulder as he slid his cock inside her welcoming heat.  “Maker’s breath.”  Briar whined as he rolled his hips slowly against hers.  Her nails bit into the sheets by her head as she bucked her hips against him.

“Now, now.  Patience is a virtue Briar,” Cullen whispered in her ear as he continued that torturous pace to her growing frustration.  She’d appreciate slow later but her body wanted him to make her forget her own fucking name.

“Of which I don’t possess.”  She reached up and grasped his hair in her hands as she gently tugged on it.  “Fuck me.”  That dark chuckle was all she heard before he angled his hips and had her body clenching tight around him.  He groaned as he slammed against her hips.  “Yes.”  He rose up and pressed a hand between her shoulder blades.  She groaned as she couldn’t move beneath his hand.  She felt herself tightening around his cock with each thrust.

“Damn it.  I’m.” Cullen groaned as she felt his cock spasming inside of her.  Briar almost screamed when his hand reached underneath and gently pinched her clit.  She buried her face in the sheets as she came apart underneath him.

They were both panting heavily as the fog of desire cleared in their heads.  Cullen jerked upright as if just realizing what he’d been doing.  Briar grabbed his shoulder before he could say anything.  She shifted until she was out from under him and pulled him down towards her.  “We’ll talk tomorrow.  I don’t think I can string more than a few words together right now.”  Cullen relaxed and pulled her against him resting his head on the top of her head.  They could talk tomorrow.

[sadko101]

Varric is soo kean on helping solas instead of just stopping him because he couldnt stop anders

(more indepth and corrected version of my old post)

TW: very brief mentions of suicide and usual Anders stuff

okay the title is even more mid but this point is about how i believe one of the big reasons Varric is set on not just stopping Solas but helping him is because of what happened in Kirkwall. enter brief collection of thoughts:

one thing i loved about dragon age 2 is Varric and Anders friendship and how that added to the tragedy of both of their stories.

if your Hawke doesn't like Anders, Varric is the only one who actually enjoys his company and considers him a friend throughout the entire game. we also see in there banter that Anders is very Anders when interacting with Varric. it is also through there banter we see Anders lean more into the vengeance/justice and "lose" himself:

act 1

Varric: So a human, an elf, and a dwarf walk into a bar...

Anders: The human says, "You're lucky you're so short. That hurt like mad!"

Varric: You could have just stopped me, Blondie.

Anders: Why waste a perfectly good set-up?

act 2:

Anders: Boiling in oil.

Varric: Too prosaic. Trapped in a cave with hungry bears, right at the spring thaw.

Anders: That lets him off too easy. Dipped in molten gold and left as a statue in the Viscount's Keep.

Varric: Ooh. That's poetic!

Hawke: What are you two talking about?

Varric: What to do to Bartrand when I find him.

Anders: Any suggestions?

and the Parallels of act 3:

Varric: So, three templars walk into a tavern.

Anders: Not right now, Varric.

Varric: You feeling all right, Blondie? You're always in the mood for templar jokes.

--

Varric: So, the knight-commander... Boiling in oil? That one never gets old.

Anders: This is past time for joking.

Varric: I'm helping you indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies. I think it's good for you.

Anders: Meredith will die. Do not doubt that.

Varric: Go away, Justice. Can Anders come out and play?

Anders: [Justice voice] Stop.

Varric: You are no fun anymore.

Anders offers Varric his embroidered pillow, the only thing he was allowed to take from home to the circle. anders states to varric how he was a good friend. Varric denies it presumably thinking that Anders is planning on killing himself when he tells Anders "to have many more dreams of killing templars on it''. Varric obviously has concern for Anders and cares for him that we have seen throughout the game. when the chantry blows up all of Anders actions entirely add up to that action. you can only presume that Varric (and probably the rest of the cast) thought back on the warning signs.

the warning signs that Anders was going to do something drastic were there, for example, after act two he begins to isolate himself (regardless of if Ella died or not, but the reasons are different). its clear that he is struggling with his mental state and loosing control.

codex entry "after the deep roads": In the past three years, Anders has become more reclusive, verging on paranoid.

codex entry "the last three years": (if Ella is killed:) The past three years has seen Anders cross the edge from moodiness into open paranoia.

(if Ella is saved:)  Anders lost interest in the cause of mage revolution. Convinced he was no better than an abomination, Anders was determined to gain mastery over the spirit inside him... or die trying. It is increasingly apparent that he is losing this struggle. Prone to wild mood swings between deep melancholy and manic determination.

people don't wake up terrorist, Anders decline and why he did what he did to the chantry was something out of paranoia, vengeance and a kind of insanity. by act 3 'Anders' seems to have very little rational thought left in him, and the bomb was not a rational thought.

Anders story in da2 is his and justice's tragedy and how they spirals into madness together, pushing each other to the worst version of themselves by accident.

so back to Varric, in the trailer we saw how determined he was to stop solas, how he doesn't want to give up on a friend who is in "need". this feels parallel to his inability to stop Anders

*note, Anders and Solas are two very different characters and so are there actions, the similarity here i only Varrics friendship to them.

so i conclude that, i believe that one of the Varric is so intent on stopping Solas through helping him was because he could not stop Anders, and Varric doesn't want to see another friend loose his mind.

end note: Anders and Varrics friendship is so important to me you don't understand how much da2 broke my heart

intresting note from people on reddit: justice was becoming vengance the moment he got stuck in the mortal real in kirstoffs body (mightmake a write up on that too)

[dalishious]

hihi i was wondering how vesta gets along with the other companions??

Morrigan mentioned here.

Alistair and Vesta do not get along. Vesta initially distrusts him because of his past as a templar, though as he reveals he didn't actually want that life and is (for the most part) not like the templars she knows, this lessens. But Alistair's dislike of Morrigan starts to flood into Vesta too, since the two become so close, so fast. Then Vesta agrees to Jowan's ritual sacrifice of Isolde to save Connor, followed by becoming a blood mage herself, and this severely sours their relationship. Alistair is disgusted these choices, but there is a part of him that wonders if maybe he will be able to keep her from becoming an abomination, if he can only lead her away from what he considers a dark path. Because the thing is, Vesta has goodness in her, and that's something he didn't think blood mages were capable of having. Vesta, in turn, finds Alistair's fears annoying, but is too considerate to actually voice it (most of the time). So, they have this really unspoken unease, masked by polite banter.

Vesta enjoys Leliana's company, especially hearing her stories. Leliana finds Vesta to be a curious case; she's so used to being able to read everything about a person, but because Vesta had personhood denied from her so long, there's not much to read about her when they first meet. Like Alistair, she doesn't approve of a lot of the choices Vesta makes, but unlike Alistair, she is far more forgiving of these choices, believing that the good in Vesta outweighs the bad. And also unlike Alistair, she is far more gentle with voicing her opinions, so Vesta is a lot less annoyed.

Zevran and Vesta are best friends. She observes fairly early on that their upbringings had quite a lot in common, the only major difference being she was owned by the Chantry, and he the Crows. So, she sees a kindred spirit in him, someone to vent to, and listen to when he does the same. When Zevran talks about the nasty aspects of his time as an Antivan Crow, he is surprised with how compassionate Vesta remains, rather than either looking down at him. Zevran has always been dismissive of the tragedy he's experienced, but with Vesta, he slowly starts to allow himself to feel grief, especially for Rinna. She also helps him come to terms with having a future he can decide, seeing Vesta confronted with the same question for the first time, just like him. Zevran is one of the few in the party to always support Vesta's decisions, believing she has the right to live her own life. This kind of support means the world to Vesta. To sum it up, they help each other realize they deserve and want to live.

Wynne is a horrible reminder to Vesta of the life she wants to leave behind. She sees Wynne as someone she would have grown up into, had she not been recruited into the Grey Wardens, and that horrifies her. When Wynne tries to offer advice, Vesta usually does the exact opposite of whatever it is she says, and this frustrates Wynne greatly. When Wynne learns that Vesta has become a blood mage not long after joining the party, she is horrified. They fight about it constantly, because Wynne never quits bringing it up. And when Wynne eventually shares that she is hosting a spirit inside her, Vesta laughs in her face and calls her the biggest hypocrite she's ever known. They are bitter and hostile towards each other right to the end, only travelling together because Wynne refuses to see the warden's plight go unaided when she sees herself as a necessary part of stopping it.

Vesta pities Oghren, but every time she questions if there's more to him than she sees, he reminds her of what an inappropriate gross bastard he is.

Sten was not recruited. (Sorry, Sten fans - I usually do recruit him, but I didn't feel like it was in Vesta's character at the point of Lothering to go against the Chantry's wishes yet.)

I haven't really given thought to Shale, yet. It'll emerge when I recruit her, I guess.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Are there any companions you can't stand?

I wouldn't say I have any that I can't stand. Something that's so engaging to me about DA is that the companions have good, bad, and a lot in between. Honestly, I don't hate any of them. There are companions that I have more issues with than others, but I like them all; even, and sometimes especially, the ones that tend to be heavily hated on by the fandom.

The only companion that might fall into this category for me is Sebastian, but I totally acknowledge that I've yet to make an effort to use him when I play DA2. I legit just forget about him. How am I supposed to have a good grasp of his character when I don't engage with him outside of his companion quests? Plus I usually romance Anders so Sebastian always leaves my party in the end with threats of bringing an army down on Kirkwall for not killing Anders, soooo... yeah. Not the greatest impression he's left me with.

I would like to have a more well-rounded opinion of Sebastian because the concept of him is interesting; he's this chantry brother who is also a prince, but his family was murdered so he puts up a bounty on the chantry board [which admittedly is SO funny] and his companion quests are about avenging his family and helping him decide if he should take back his lands or remain a chantry brother. But then I talk to him, I listen to him talk to the other companions, and it's like... oh, the chantry has become his entire personality because the dude was brainwashed and now he's saying shit like the maker was actually the one who freed Fenris from slavery, and when Fenris tells him a story about how Denarius killed a child in a ritual for more power, Sebastian just doubles down that the maker has his reasons, like....babe, c'mon now.

I feel like I've read pieces about him written by fans who love him that are more compellingly written than he is, if that makes sense. Really, I would love to be educated by those who love him, especially Sebastian romancers because of all the love interests in all of DA, he's the one I look at and go, "....okay but why?" I have a lot of fun with character discussions and other perspectives so I mean that sincerely.

Also I think it's worth noting that when I play, I tend to get super into the roleplay of my warden/hawke/inquisitor, but while they have party members they can't stand, I have opinions that are separate from them, y'know?

For example, since I've talked about it a lot recently, my mage Hawke and Aveline butt heads constantly. By the end of Act 3, they're rivalry is heated and Ed's surprised Aveline even sided with him in the end because THAT is how much their relationship deteriorated over the course of the game... but then there's my warrior Hawke who adored Aveline. The two of them were best friends and Aris always gave her the benefit of the doubt, like she had Aveline's back through and through.

I've complained about Aveline a lot in my posts so it probably does sound like I can't stand her, but that's not true. Aveline's actually a companion that fascinates me, like she makes me go, "God, you're such an asshole, tell me more right now." and it drives me crazy how she and Carver are foils, like I love it so much, I could go on and on about how foiled they are, it makes me want to bite something.

It's very easy to look at Aveline and think she's just a bitch, she's a cop, she's a bad character, #Aveline-critical, bad companion, etc. I see it all the time, and not just with her, but with every companion in dragon age, y'know? I'm not saying that's wrong or anything; some characters just don't vibe with you or you have legit reasons for hating them and that's fine. I'm just saying some of it's very surface level unless you make the effort to elaborate.

If you don't like a character, you're less likely to make an effort to understand or see anything positive about them. You're more likely to have confirmation bias, so whenever they do or say anything, you go looking for the worst interpretation. I try not to do this just because for me, that's the "boring" approach to games like this but as we've seen, I'm not immune either... y'know, Sebastian.

But Carver gets this a lot, too, and I think I've made myself clear that Carver is my favorite, I love him, the Hawke twins are S-tier companions and I would throw everyone in Kirkwall into the ocean if it meant Bethany and Carver's happiness.

Now that I'm thinking about it, the characters a lot of fans can't stand are some of my favorites?

Like a lot of people shit on Sera, and I'm like "Nah, that's my girl! Listen, she's got a LOT of internalized issues, but we're working through them okay! She's getting better!"

And Vivienne? Oh, don't get me started on Vivienne, I have a whole deal about her. She's also an asshole and I love her.

My canon inquisitor is Surana who escaped the circle and joined the dalish, becoming Lavellan. Vivienne is a reflection of what Ash could've been if she hadn't run away with Jowan. She played the game of the circle, she stepped wherever she needed to step because Ash knew she was at a disadvantage by being an elf, for one, and for two, not coming from a family with wealth that would give her special privileges. Her downfall was buying into her own hype and believing she couldn't be wrong about Jowan, believing that she could either prevent them from making him tranquil or help him and Lily run away, and believing she was above punishment because she worked her way into being Irving's favorite. Yet it all bit her in the ass and she had to run… so then years later after living outside of the circle and realizing just what the chantry is, how it conditions and abuses mages and shit, she meets Vivienne who also played the game well and came out on top, who now spouts the same shit Ash used to spout and it's makes their dynamic sooo chewable.

Then there's Cullen who's not a companion but I lump him and Josephine in with the companions anyway. They're advisors, they're in the inner circle, they count.

He's such a spineless ass in DA2 like believe me, I get all the criticisms he gets... but he's also fairly polite to Hawke even if they're openly anti-templar, he's softer spoken, and he's unwell after what happened to him in DAO and Meredith's clearly taking advantage of his state... but then he becomes an advisor in DAI who is so done with people's bullshit and blatantly honest about it, like he looks at Chancellor Roderick like "this fucking guy again" and he's so ready to just go for it, y'know? Well... unless you're a pretty lady who bats her eyes at him, then suddenly he doesn't know how words work. Like sometimes I feel crazy because I find him to be so funny in DAI, and overall a compelling character that I enjoy interacting with even when he's being a total asshole. Yeah, there's issues in his writing but I appreciate the vision the writers were going for, even if they stumbled... except for Sheryl Chee, I don't appreciate her contribution of those few posts on the DA forums that everyone uses as a smoking gun to "prove" awful things about him. Nothing gets under my skin more in character discussions than bad faith arguments and there's so much of that when it comes to Cullen.

Actually, while we're on that, can I just add a note that when I first got into this fandom, I saw someone's post about Chee doing an interview where she said all those bad things about Cullen wanting to assault the mage warden and I was like, "What? An interview? What interview?? Where??" and I couldn't find shit until much later when I read another anti-Cullen post that cited a DA forum as the source for her saying those things... so not an interview. I went digging for the forum, went into the way back machine to find it.... only to discover that this smoking gun comes from a fanfiction forum where Mary Kirby was also talking about Sten and catgirls and y'all expect me to take that seriously?

We can have discussions about whether or not Cullen's a bad person or a bad character, but the moment you bring Sheryl Chee into it, I know you're here in bad faith and your argument is void.

Sorry for the tangent and the long answer but this is the stuff I enjoy. I could talk about the characters of DA for ages unprompted that when someone does throw me a bone, I will discuss and gush about them all.