#the broody amnesia of it all

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

The BG3 companions have the same energy to the DA2 companions to me. All emotionally resonate in a real and flawed way, and lovable (and/or hateable) for that. Beaten down and abused by the systems or relationships they were chained to. To the extent they either grow past their pain and anger to forge a healing path ahead or let it define them enough that they lose all perspective and blow their chance for growth (in the story). The messy queer and polam vibes may just be how I play both games, but that's there too.

However, while I think BG3's characters are inspired by DA2's, I don't think there's any 1 to 1 comparisons. Elves and orb contemplating mages are a staple of the fantasy genre; and Fenris, Astarion, Gale, and Anders are different enough that saying they're the same does all characters an injustice (imo). Fenris's slavery allegory is tied to colonialist power structures, for example, and there's a reason his skin is dark. While Astarion's slavery allegory is much closer to commentary on a criminal underground of sex slavery. Which makes sense with the vampire allegory too, because vampires (as a horror monster) often reflect anxieties around sex and sexuality. Nor are Fenris and Astarion like each other at all, they're very different people. If anything Astarion is more like Isabela. What with her deflective flirty humor masking a pain that's related to her being a 'beautiful prize' that was forced into a marriage at a (too) young age to a violent and possessive man that objectified, used, and tortured her, a criminal life of hurting others pushed onto her and it being all she now knows and accepts...

Hmm, maybe there are some comparisons to be made actually... 😅

[thehyperfixationspeedrunner]

The Batfam Case

Sooo, I started watching batfam posts on tiktok, decided for funsis to try to understand the lore. It's been two days, I'm too invested I'm about to infodump you what I know and I may pass from tiktok to tumblr.

RULES:

I cannot search any question that I have, everything has to come naturally on my fyp

Non of y'all can say anything, if I say the wrongest shit ever you're not correcting me

DISCLAMER:

I don't know shit about DC. I watched a single movie and that is lego batman. No series, no comics, nada and I will not be watching until I crack this shit, so yeah, my facts may be super wrong.

I will start with characters analysis in this structure: name - vigilante persona(s) - age - personality/ general backstory - love interest(s). This will be followed by the events that I know of in chronological order (years will not be included, I'm not that much of a mad woman, instead they will be put in different Robin eras).

Ed3: I've decided that at the end of each day I will edit the original post with the mark: Ed(day number), I will not erase anything but I will scratch. I will also be adding parentage as a category in the characters (that goes from biological to emotional and their life status)

Ed4: don't know where else to put this but DC apparently stands for Detective Comics and Batman is considered the best detective of his time.

Ed6: I'm going to put a separator here because this post is getting toooo long. Also I feel like I should add, the villains have an habit of calling the Robins "little bird".

Ed15: Last update people, I'm gonna start actually getting into this (if you can give me recomendations for what to watch that would be awesome)

CHARACTERS:

Bruce Wayne

Vigilante persona: Batman

Age: DILF

General background: apparently has two personalities, I thought he was just Broody all the time, but apparently, he is also a nonalcoholic version of Tony Stark (at least I'm pretty sure he's not an alcoholic) (Ed15: he isn't, he doesn't drink so he can be alert), genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and all of that jazz (Ed4: has been a victim of the so called "toxic comic bros" who just want him to beat people up, because he's batman and he has a deep voice and he doesn't show emotion, when in reality he's really family orientated and would literally do anything for his kids and he learned how to show it verbally/physically throughout the years of robins, thanks for coming to my ted talk) (Ed15: there is also "Brucie", who is his persona to the public that is just fucking flirty and bold)

Love interests: Damian's mom? Idk apparently he has game (another thing I was not expecting of batman) (Ed3: superman, those two have definitely fucked, I saw a scene of an animated series that had batman on top of superman and it was raining and superman had the most bedroom eyes I have ever seen) (Ed15: the current one seems to be a Selins, which now that I think about it, isn't she one of Jason's many mother figures)

Parentage: Biologically, don't know their names, they were rich, they are dead (and maybe involved in an organised crime? Still have to fact check this one). Emotionally, Alfred

Richard Grayson

Vigilante personas: OG Robin/nightwing

Age: grown ass man

General background: sunshine incarnation, smiling while threatening someone to kill their entire family kinda person, hot as fuck, flexible as shit (advantages of having gymnasts parents), oh yeah, grew up in a circus, dead parents (oopsie daisy, the trauma needed to start somewhere I guess), also his nickname is Dick? Who chooses that nickname? (Ed4: very overlooked trauma, mainly because of the sunshine energy, oldest sibling syndrome, probably had some kind of burnout at the age of 15/16) (Ed15: I think he got amnesia at some point? And he's Romani, cool)

Love interest(s): someone named starfire (?) (Ed3: I now know who starfire is and apparently their those annoying couples that are always breaking up and coming back together), also there's this red head that is connected to flash because his suit is an ugly version of flash's, I think (Ed3) his name is Wally?, idk if he's a friend or something else (or he could be starfire, who knows) (Ed3: his name is indeed Wally and he was a childhood friend and maybe a bit more but it doesn't matter because he's dead and their last conversation was a fight. ✨️Trauma and Drama✨️) (Ed4: There's also Barbara apparently (the only thing in my mind is the audio "name a more inconic duo that a twink and a red head") and a girl named Zatanna)

Parentage: Biologically, they were acrobatics and acrobated to their deaths (this word is going to be common in this section). Emotionally, Bruce and Alfred. Legally, maybe Bruce, I mean the kid was a child when he became Robin, who was his legal guardian? (Ed4: apparently Dick was just Bruce's ward :(, he never adopted him)

Jason Todd

Vigilante personas: ex-Robin/Redhood (Ed3: maybe phoenix, still trying to decide if that's true or not)

Age: another grown ass man

General background: happy, naive and cute when young (Ed15: and apparently a street kid) /instead of unplugging and plugging his life back in he decides to do a whole factory reset/ basically batman's personality but without the morals part, also hot as fuck (jesus christ, how can a drawing be so hot), from what I understand, he's the fandom's sad little meow meow (Ed6: he wears a mask under his helmet. I feel like that's important information and he's the only one who can cook (besides Alfred))

Love interest: Roy (Green lantern's kid, who is apparently named Oliver (Ed6: apparently there is another green lantern named Hal???? That is not important to the batfam but i feel like I should mention it) and is also a billionaire. The more you know) and they have a child! I don't their name or gender but batman's a grandpa! (Ed4: Her name is Lain :D)(Ed3: Honorary mention to the girl who he said he had to go to a funeral to escape a date) (Ed15: someone named Artemis, that (and this is a big shot in the dark) is a bow and arrow kinda hero)

Parentage: Biologically, no fucking idea (Ed4: I think Jason had a semi-decent relationship with his father. Also I'm pretty sure that Talia is(Ed6) his mom and she sold him to Joker, which draaammmaa (Ed6: pretty sure that title actually goes to Shelia)) (Ed15: his fahter is named Willis and he was arrested at some point). Emotionally, Bruce, Alfred and apparently he has like 5 mother figures including Damian's mom (Ed6: one of them is named Selina (she's nice 👍) and there's a Shelia who I'm not sure is biologically his momEd15 and a Catherine (she's also nice) and a Nocturna (not sure if this is just the vigilante name of one I've mentioned before)). Legally, again who was his legal guardian if not Bruce? (Ed4: I'm pretty convinced that he was adopted by him) (Ed6: his step mom died of overdose, which damn)

Barbara (Ed3: Gordon)

Vigilante personas: bat girl/Oracle????????? (Ed3: my questions have been answered, she is the Oracle)

Age: pretty sure she's around the same age as Jason (Ed4: considering recent developments, I'm going to believe she's around Dick's age)

General background: I barely know shit about her, I know she's a hacker and I think she has some kind of motor disability (this is a big shot in the dark) (Ed3: but a fucking correct one, I was right bitches) (Ed4: she seems like the one holding the brain cell 90% of the time and I know she's ti-red of this train wreck of a family. Gonna say it here because I have no idea when it happens but I have this theory that she was batgirl until she suffered an accident(in or out of the job) that affected her legs, amking the vigilante shit hard, so she decides to go behind the scenes and becomes Oracle)

Love interest: no idea, but if she's free I don't mind stepping in (Ed4: this people love incest bc her and Dick were a thing) (Ed6: apparently my baby has no other love interest besides Dick 😔✊️ (Ed15: lies there is someone called Kory))

Parentage: Biologically, no idea. Emotionally: Bruce, Alfred and that's all I know (there are very few people talking about my girl, seriously people step up)

Tim Drake

Vigilante personas: ex-Robin/Red Robin

Age: late teen/young adult (Ed15: forever 17 )

General background: literal physcopath, too smart for his trembling morals, literal gremlin, a little shit, Tired all the fucking time, already a child of rich people before becoming another one of Bruce's children, I'm pretty sure his parents were alive when he became Robin (they didn't stay alive for long, but it's progress) (Ed4: I think at some point he may have been Joker Jr??? Wtf???(Ed6: I'm super confused because one video said it wasn't cannon and the next one used it as if it was))

Love interest: I don't know if my boy has time for them (Ed3: a superboy I forgot his name, I'll have to go through my reblogs for info (update I was thinking of the wrong Wayne-Kent relationship, I have no idea this guy's name), also apparently he had a thing with Stephanie? Incest, much) (Ed4: apparently he's in a poly ship because, besides the Kent kid (whose name is Kon btw) he also has a thing with some kid named Bernard)

Parentage: Biologically, they're rich and were killed by Boomerang. Emotionally, Bruce, Alfred. Legally, I will ask the same question once again WHO THE FUCK IS THIS KID'S LEGAL GUARDIAN?? (Ed4: I'm almost certain that Bruce adopts him)

Stephanie (Ed3: Brown)

Vigilante personas: ex-Robin(hilarious)/Spoiler (what kind of name is this)

Age: probably not much younger than Tim

General background: no fucking idea, (Ed4) I just need to point out how fucking hilarious it is that the other Robins were all young boys with black hair and then a blonde girl just shows up one day with the costum and everyone rolls with it (Ed4: she's another gremlin together with Tim and I know if those two are left alone for five minutes they will start world domination. Also she starts drama for the hell of it.)

Love interest: she gives me bi vibes, idk what else to tell you (Ed3: I'll repeat the incest with Tim) (Ed4: Cass :D, I love that for them (Steph, is your kink incest?))

Parentage: I don't know and I'm getting ultraged by the lack of content the girls have, seriously people (Ed15: her dad was an acoholic super villain who wanted Steph to follow his footsteps, but she said no and became Spoiler to stop him, you go queen.)

Damien Wayne(?) (Ed3)

Vigilante persona: Robin

Age: tween (Ed15: technically he's 14)

General background: he has a sword? I need to start with this, a trained assassin (I'll repeat he is a tween (I think)), the child of the family, has everyone wrapped around his little finger, Bruce's bio child (Ed3: the one who is most likely to kill someone, a wild fact considering he's the youngest one, also he has fangs???? For some reason? And people call him hell spawn so there is some history here, also he has a bunch of animals and I just love that) (Ed4: was a prince before he came here, that's all I have to add)

Love interest: he's a child (Ed3: another superkid, the Waynes have a type, his name is Jon)

Parentage: Biologically, Bruce and this Talia woman (and they are both alive, shocker I know) (Ed15: also his grandfather is a super villain named "Ra's" that uses the Lazarus pit to be imortal. Fun.). Emotionally, Alfred.

Cass(andra?(Ed3)) Last Name Unknown (Ed3: Cain)

Vigilante persona: still looking for it (Ed3: black bat) (Ed15: and orphan... wow)

Age: teen, I think (Ed3)

General background: another one I barely know shit about, she's deaf, she gives me sassy little girl vibes (Ed3: she is some kind of Michael from the Naturals (where are my 3 the natural fans at?)) (Ed4: she's a sneaky little bitch who need no weapon, just her two fists, super quiet, but super deadly) (Ed15: she was homeless at some point, which for some point it is not a knew trope here. Also, is she really deaf or not, because I saw a cannon vs fannon video about her and the fannon signed, but the cannon spoke clearly, was she born deaf or a result of an accident? Is she even completely deaf?)

Love interest: no fucking idea man (Ed4: Steph :D, idk why but I love this idea so much I don't even care if it's not canon, it's canon to me)

Parentage: speaking again about the lack of content about women (Ed4: still less close, just know that she has mommy and daddy issues, so they're probably not great) (Ed6: her mother (Ed15: and her name is Shiva) sold her to someone who made her into a killing machine. Tense.)

(Ed3: the whole duke section is new, my bad I knew nothing about him)

Duke Thomas

Vigilante persona: signal

Age: teen

General background: he seems like a genuine calm nice guy, it's a contrast from the rest of the family (Ed15: apparently he's insanely smart and good with riddles and so fucking cool. Also he has the power to manipulate light, which is so fucking cool)

Love interest: not that I know of (Ed15: I'm pretty sure that he has a girlfriend, but her name is unknown)

Parentage: Biologically, I'm pretty sure they're dead but that's not new (Ed15: they're not dead. They are however in a asylum with their minds fucked up because of whatever "joker toxin" is, idk what's worse honestly). Emotionally, Bruce and Alfred. Legally, I have given up on the question by this point (Ed4: also pretty sure Bruce adopts him)

Alfred (Ed4: Pennyworth)

Vigilante persona: I don't think he has one, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did

Age: old

General background: incarnation of "terrifying calmness", I don't think there's much more to say really, excellent cook, insaaaannnneeee lore (Ed15: apparently he's not a good person in cannon??? He has a daughter but abandons her to take care of Bruce, convinces the Robins to become vigilantes while Bruce just wants for them to have a normal childhood, was the one who made the "good soldier" memorial (yes, I know about that, so much known lore, I'm practically a master) and Bruce actually wanted it taken down)

Love interest: THE QUEEN OF ENGLAN?????? FOR SOME GOD FORSAKEN REASON

Parentage: he had a sister (or daughter) and her name is Julia but they don't have the best relationship

Shout out to the guy in a yellow bat suit, I just saw you in pictures, but I will find out your name. Also there's a kid named Duke, I think he is gonna be Damien's replacement

(Ed3: lmao who's tell past me, also gonna add the name Domino here, I saw it somewhere I'm not even sure if it's a super hero or a villain name)

(Ed4: adding another name to the "I heard this once but I feel like they're important" pool: Ortiz, they're the love interest of someone, I feel like is Duke but there were no context clues; Kate Kane, aka Batwoman, will make a character analysis when I have more information than name/vigilante name)

(Ed6: another one to the pool. His name is Terry and he is barely mentioned in the fandom. Also Slade, he's a villain and has beef with every single Robin. And a guy named Lex that every single one of the batfam hates, he has the opposite company of WI and he may or may not be a supervillain. Someone help me there are three batgirls. And I saw a post where Jason called Cass his "big sister". I'm gonna cry)

(Ed15: Thee is more. :D Her name is Helena and I'm pretty sure she's Bruce and Selina's bio!daughter and her super hero name is huntress. I would like to also add Jarro. Jarro is a Robin. Jarro is also a starfish. Live laugh love Jarro.)

EVENTS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

Pre-Robin

Dick living happily with his parents in a circus at the age of 8

Parents die in front of him (and Burce, I think)

Picks up a costum and start beating criminals twice his size

Dick Robin era

Batman's like "someone needs to put that kid under control. No one volunteers? Okay, I'll do it. No, there's no need to insist I'll do it." That or they keep having encounters until Batman gets attached. (Ed3)

Mentor/mentee shenanigans

Boom Dick's too old, no idea if he just leaves the title, gives it up to Jason or Bruce just says he likes them young (Ed3: the most hilarious option won)

(Ed6:Jason is homeless because his step mom died of and overdose)

Also no idea how Jason got himself in the middle of this mess. (Ed3: why the hell am I still clueless about this?) (Ed4: apparently he tried to steal the tires of a batmobile and that's how they met? Amazing I love it) Anyways,

Jason Robin era

Somewhere in the middle of all of this Dick becomes nightwing

More mentor/mentee shenanigans

(Ed4: Dick goes to space on a mission)

(Ed3: Jason decides to go rogue and look for his mother, which, somehow, leads to:)

Jason dies (like really dies, he got buried and everything) by the hands of Joker (Ed3: with a crowbar, very important information, but seriously, that's violent as fuck) D: (Ed4: because Jason's mother (that may or may not be Talia) (Ed15) sells him out)

Batman almost kills Joker :D

Superman stops him D:

Anyways, Batman goes batshit crazy

(Ed4: Dick comes back from space to a dead brother, an angered dad and a random stalker (read Tim) asking him to come back as Robin)

Tim - superhero stalker - notices and becomes the Robin that steps up 💪 (by this I mean he blackmails Bruce into becoming Robin)

Tim Robin era

(Ed3: Tim and Dick have hallucinations of Jason? For some reason?)

(Ed4: Joker decides that it is a good idea to taunt Nightwing with Jason's death. He was wrong, Nightwing beats him to death, as he should)

Jason comes back from the dead, because... of an act of God? Idk, (Ed4) but guess who's back, back again (Ed4: apparently there's something called "Lazarus Pit", that's what he uses, whatever the fuck that is, wasn't Lazarus the friend of Jesus that he literally ressure- oh wait I'm seeing a pattern here. Who knew that knowing the bible was gonna be useful here)

Jason is used as a weapon against batman (still trying to verify the truth of this one)

Jason becomes a crime lord that takes down other crime lords aka Redhood

(Ed3: Jason beats the shit out of Tim in a Robin costume to prove that he's the better Robin and when he asks half-dead-Tim about it he just says no? Wild shit and I love this)

Even more mentor/mentee shenanigans

Batman dies???????

Tim tries to bring him back (intrepert that however you want) (Ed15: and that interpretation is that Batman is lost in the "timestream". Whatever the fuck that means (Actually I'm very curious, I love different takes on how time works in different universes))

(Ed15: in this time he also fucks with the League of assassins (super villain league lead by Ra's Al Ghaul (aka Damian's grandpa)) and they fuck back because apparently that man sends a woman to rape Tim so he can have a new heir because Damian was not on their side anymore??? wtf????, also they took his spleen, somehow, I need to say this arc seems very concerning)

Tim gets replaced by Damien who just shows up at their doorstep one day I guess (Ed3: somehow Stephanie Robin era happens between this two but I'm still trying to figure out how when where or why) (Ed4: still not sure how it happens but I now know it lasted a week)

Damien Robin era

Tim manages to bring batman back (seriously, was it a "he's not really dead kinda situation", did he perform some satanic ritual, what happened?) (Ed15) But not his position, hey yo!

Tim gets promoted to red Robin, which from what I understood is basically Dick's Robin (which is cute, full circle moment)

Father/son bonding time through fighting crime

(Ed3: Jason retires from Redhood? Not sure how true this is)

(Ed3: Also, gotta mention this incidents even though I have no idea when they are

STEPHANIE, DAMIEN AND TIM ALL DIE AT SOME POINT? WHAT IS IT WITH THIS FAMILY AND DYING)

Where is Stephanie's era you may ask? Idk I know she's on the younger side so she couldn't have been Dick's replacement and I am pretty sure about the other changes of Robins and I think she's older than Damien so she couldn't have been his replacement. (Ed3: still very unsure on this part) (Ed4)

Will keep you guys updated

Ed3: I feel like the more information I have the more confusing it gets

Ed4: I swear I must sound like this in this post:

[northlt03]

HEAR ME OUT

James Potter son of Apollo smth smth prophecy looming over him that no one really tells him about. Its either about him or his bloodline

Dumbledore and McGonagall, camp directors, who know about the prophecy and about the other gods but never really tell anyone.

Peter Pettigrew, satyr protector to James and Marlene who brought them to camp.

Marlene Mckinnon, daughter of Hermes

Mary Mcdonald, daughter of Aphrodite

Lily Evans, daughter of Hecate

Remus Lupin, son of Athena, had been targeted by Lycaon the werewolf king, the og werewolf if you will.

One day, Sirius just shows up at camp, changing everything James thought he knew about himself and the gods.

He's passed out at the entry of the camp when Remus finds him and brings him to Dumbledore and McGonagall. Remus can't help but groan in disgust as he startles awake "you drool when you sleep" he tells him.

Turns out, Sirius has amnesia and the only thing he can remember is his name. Just his first name.

He can remember other stuff as well, like the names of the gods and monsters, except he knows them all in Roman and even though he's a bit rough around the edges and flinches a lot and acts tough, James decides to stick with him.

They go on a quest, yada yada yada, Sirius feels like he should remember someone important but he just can't put his finger on it.

Soon the four- James, Sirius, Remus and Peter become fast friends, and Sirius seems to have no issue with forgetting his "past life" since he has a feeling this one is much better.

Everything is going fine, Sirius like Remus, Remus likes Sirius, though neither of them will ever admit it, James is loud and proud about his crush on Lily.

Until one day when they run into someone else on a quest. They heard from Peter about a group of demigods, only to discover they aren't some helpless eleven year olds but rather fully trained vicious, broody, sarcastic annoying demigods. James doesn't remember seeing them at camp, but they all have weapons and they keep talking about their home. There's three of them, Regulus Black, son of Hades, Dorcas Meadows, daughter of Nike and Barty Crouch Jr, son of Nemesis.

Sirius falls off a cliff lol so James, Remus, Peter, Regulus and Lily go on a quest to get him back. EXCEPT THEY DON'T KNOW SIRIUS AND REGULUS ARE RELATED. James never says the name of his friend who fell off the cliff, he just calls him "Padfoot" or the occasional "Pads" and Regulus doesn't really talk at all about his family or even where he's from.

Smth smth cute about Dorcas being SUPER competitive with Marlene in everything at camp, smth smth, Barty meeting Evan Rosier at camp haha

anyway, Black Brother reunion!! does not go well, smth smth both camps realise about each other!!

Have to band together to defeat an enemy.

Since James and the others cant go to their camp, Regulus, Dorcas and Barty decide to stay to vanquish the threat of the Dark Lord only to discover that some of their own camp members are on the bad side (Luke Castellan's side)

smth smth, battle!! Regulus and Barty join the bad side while Dorcas stays.

Regulus discovers the weaknesses of the Dark Lord and dies while trying to destroy it.

Sirius and James who had been dating Regulus in secret, are both devastated. smth smth!!

final battle!! By this time, James and Lily have been dating, they're like young tho, and James has conflicting feelings about the battle cause he keeps imagining Regulus to be one of the enemy but he's yk dead.

Blahblah blah, Peter betrays them, James and Lily die, but they have a son who will go on to permanently destroy the threat forever and ever, the end everyone you love is dead!

[nanadoesart]

Talk about Marie's SL to us. What about it made you love it as much as you say?

It likely has something to do with my enjoyment of characters who have amnesia. One of my comfort games is Pokemon mystery dungeon where you lose your memory in every game, and then there's fire emblem awakening where you also play as an amnesiac protagonist.

I was genuinely just intrigued by Marie's social link because I wanted to know who she was if we were able to figure that out. You're seeing her interact with the player as well as the other characters were just fun and it may be kind of sad that she just wasn't a proper party member cuz she would have fit in great. (One of the few gripes I had with golden)

At the time I thought her social life was okay but it wasn't bad. It wasn't Yosuke, Konishi or Shu levels of amazing. It's not until I got into the golden content which added a whole other layer to her character. She from somebody who accepted that she'll never know who she was, to struggling to accept who she is when she does find out and trying to off herself because of it. Her boss fight is also amazing because you're trying everything in your power to change her mind and make her accept herself like you did with the others, except that you can't do that here.

It's much like how humans are. Some can open up a lot easier compared to others. And sometimes those who have a harder time opening up takes a lot of work to actually develop a relationship that could be a platonic or romantic.

You can also add the layer of izanami being her other self/ reincarnation. Whereas izanami struggled to accept truth or is trying to deter the player from the truth. Meanwhile Marie is struggling with the truth that she is the catalyst for the end of the world essentially. And her only resolution is to remove herself from the narrative. This ends with her essentially putting all of her faith in the party because of how strongly she feels towards each and every one of them, especially the player.

It all comes into the head once you beat the game and the payoff is seeing how much she's changed. At first she was kind of annoying and a little broody and she called you names every chance she God just because you looked at her funny to this bright and sunny individual who has finally accepted herself and her place in this world.

And it made me really happy to see her "transformation" in the epilogue

[bl-recs-and-reviews]

This is BL challenge for you (if you choose to accept them).

1.a) Please write your top 3 or top 5 favorite tropes in BL.

b) From each trope, write at least 3 BL that you love.

(Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them).

2. a) What is the first BL that make you want to know more about and eventually love BL?

b) What is that one BL that have a special place in your heart (for whatever reason)?

The BL can be in in the form of manga, manhwa, manhua, books, tv series or movies.

Thanks so much if you want to answer this long ask.

This looks like fun :) I accept!

Sorry for the late reply this took a while to answer properly ❤ It' so hard to choose

1. Top 5 Favorite Tropes in BL and corresponding shows (in no particular order)

Arragended relationship: - Seven Days (manga) - Now this is one of my favorite manga of all time. So simple yet so good. How you end up falling in love with someone as a result of an experiment - Ookami e no Yomeiri (series/manhwa) - This one is beautiful to look at. Not for the people that cringe at furry stuff. It's an arranged marriage, and how by observing/looking at the other person you like what you discover. - Kieta Hatsukoi (series/manga) - This one is probably known by all. Cute, simple, funny and light hearted. Honestly the more time goes by, the more I think of it fondly ❤

Enemies to lovers: - We Best Love (series) - It's not everyday that a show manages to do an enemies to lovers twice with the same couple. I particularly love S2. And how the love is clearly still there but the hurt is still hurting. - Bad Buddy (series) - Not perfect but with perfect moments. Some amazing scenes that will forever be my favorite. The rooftop scene particularly makes me put it here ;) - Semantic Error (series/manhwa) - The best kbl out there. Proper enemies to lovers, with an adorable height difference. Amazing. 10/10

Miscomunication (done right) - My Personal Weatherman (series) - I am currently losing my mind over this show because of how many of my favorite tropes are happening in it. They miscommunications on this show feel very true and understandable. And despite them they sometimes do manage to communicate well :) - Escape Journey (manga) - Ogeretsu Tanaka is one of my favorite mangaka. And in Escape Journey she manages to make a very realistic depiction of a relationships between flawed people who's happiness is stopped by their lack of communication - Cupid's Last Wish (series) - This is one of those underrated gems that not a lot of people have watched. But let me tell you I loved it, so much. Especially when you have complex relationships, made complex because of unresolved feelings and lack of understanding of the complexities of other people. I love it when characters fuck up and then have to learn to fixs thing properly

Opposites attract - Doukyuusei (manga/movie) - I feel like I talk about this one all the time, but I love it so much. It's such a good story. The pace, the build up, the characters, the love, the everything. I just love it very much. Sunshine x Glasses guy basically xD - King's Maker (manhwa) - What's with me and blond action mains and calculating dark haired with glasses smart guys? In any case, one of the only manhwa's I've read. And I love it. It's got politics, angst and pinning. What else do you need? Kabe Koji (series) - Guess who's also a sunshine boy in love with a dark broody guy? This is the epitome of opposites attract, and japan knows how to do them. Another little hidden gem that maybe not a lot of people know

Hurt/comfort - Mou Ichido Nandodemo (manga) - This is one of my favorite use of the anmesia trope. It's a short manga, where amnesia comes to fuck us around but then it gets overcome in a really cool way. One of my favorite mangas :) - Mainichi Seiten series (manga) - This was one of the first long series of various volumes that I read. It starts very lightheartedly and then goes to sorta dark places. I really liked it because of how bittersweet it was - Oni to Tengoku (manga) - This one is a comedy. With an age gap and questionable behavior older men manage to have a very sweet love story while healing from past trauma. Isn't it neat? Also I love when sex is used as a healing tool, it resonates with me

2. a) The first BL that made me interested in BL

My gosh this one is hard. I don't really remember cause it's been forever. And I was always into "unusual romances". I really liked the strong "bromance" between Zoisite and Kunsite in Sailor Moon, back when I was a kid. I think the first BL coulpe I consciously liked was Touya and Yukito from CardCaptor Sakura. So I always had a penchant for liking those secondary couples. I guess there was no proper first BL that made me interested in BL. I just ended up finding the genre because I had a prior interest.

However, probably my first proper BL was Junjou Romantica. It was the first long length BL anime that I saw. I was blown away. Up until then it had only been crumbs and soap opera side couples. Oh, how things have changed since then :)

b) A BL with a special place in my heart

So many. And it always changes. But I guess one that will always have a space in my heart is the combo Tokyo Babylon and X/1999. CLAMP's golden age of mangas are some of my favorite of all times. And X was so good (but forever in hiatus). The characters, the conflicts, the angst, the everything. Subaru and Seishirou's love story. The fate of the world depending on Kamui's love. Where else are you gonna find a story where the choice that might save the world is the selfish one? Where realizing that you're in love with your childhood friend is what might stop the fighting? And also this moment:

source

If you know, you know. I wonder what I would think if I read it now, but still forever in my heart.

This was a lot of fun! Thank you so much for the ask ❤

[kellysbookblog]

NEVER SAW YOU COMING

S.L. SCOTT

Release Date: March 13

My Amazon Review: https://www.amazon.com/review/R2C5QEGUVPZDOE/ref=pe_1098610_137716200_cm_rv_eml_rv0_rv

My GR Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5389614672

Tropes: Grumpy Sunshine, Second Chance, Amnesia Romance, Angsty, Billionaire Romance, Opposites Attract, Forced Proximity, & Slow Burn

  Loch

 I wish I could say it was love at first sight. But I can’t. 

 Snarky.

Impatient.

Demanding. 

 Everything about the woman standing next to me was complicated, from her designer clothes to her coffee order. I don’t do complicated unless it comes with a good time. And then it’s only for a night or two, max.

 I was more than happy to leave the coffee shop, and her, behind, but neither of us saw what was coming . . . 

 Tuesday

 I wish I could say I remember him. But I can’t.

 Patient.

Generous.

Handsome. 

 The same stranger who saved me steps in again when I have nowhere to go and no memory of who I am. He’s broody and rigid, but I see a different side of this gorgeous man and start to realize I’m not the only one who needs saving.

 Falling for him wasn’t in my plans, but as I search for answers to my past, I realize that I don’t worry about getting my memory back. My fear is losing my life twice.

  AMAZON LINK - https://geni.us/NSYCAm

Meet S.L. Scott:

 Living in the capital of Texas with her family, Scott loves traveling, avocados, beaches, and cooking with her kids. She's obsessed with epic romances and loves a good plot twist.

Scott writes character driven, heart-racing, and swoony romances to suspense that will leave you glued to the page. Her stories are regarded as emotion-filled and soulful. With stories ranging from light and witty beach reads to heart wrenching and heart healing, Scott has a story for all readers. Her books are more than escapes for the voracious readers of today. They are journeys of the heart that always come with a happily ever after reward at the end.

Connect with S.L. Scott:

https://linktr.ee/s.l.scott

[lilapxtts]

Her pants were all wet, that was for sure and while the excitement of seeing the familiar face settled, Lila also needed to get up. She found herself slowly getting up- slowly just so she wouldn't fall again, and carefully walked over to the Hargreeves that was flat on his butt all thanks to her.

An arm was extended towards him, but his question caused her brows to furrow in confusion. "How much have you had to drink, seems like we're either too happy or too out of it. Then again you were much cheerful when drunk." she reminisced the times he had been eagerly happy during Sloane and Luther's wedding. Those were the fun times - maybe. Well no, the world was ending so not really.

"You're oddly suffering through some sort of amnesia, aren't you?" she asked while helping him up. "Should we take you to the doctor? You smokin' something Ben? Should I be concerned?" and her first question was whether he had been in contact with Klaus. However that also seemed impossible because Klaus was three years sober, so why would he lead his own brother to ashtray?

"Oh now i'm really concerned. We should get you to the doctor."

If he had to ask who Diego was, then there was something clearly wrong. However, she had a whole cart full of groceries and a party to get ready for. She turned to him for a moment and held up a finger. "We'll take you to the doctor soon, but first I need you to follow me and hold the cake." forget the cart, she'd use the extra set of arms instead now.

"Follow me." she reached for his hand -- a habit she picked up because she'd be reaching for Grace's or the twins' constantly. As she approached her cart full of groceries, she let go of his hand in that moment. "You stay here, I'll go grab the cake and then we leave. I'll let Diego know you're coming and I think Klaus will be ecstatic to see you but, continue being this friendly. Don't be broody alright?"

It was odd really, whatever was happenign with Ben. However, Lila was just grateful for the extra set of hands. While she expected him to stay by the cart she headed to the bakery department to grab her cake that had been ready. As she returned, she handed him the cake to take a hold of.

"Follow me, don't lose your way and if you be nice, i'll let you have the bigger corner of a cake slice." it was a better bribe than anythign because kids loved that. All boys were mentally like children.

If any other ordinary citizen who shouldn't be in this timeline was here, one would have asked why they were here. On the other hand, this was Ben Hargreeves. His first question he asked to himself was in the "Where" category. Where was he? Where did he come from? But most importantly, where was his family? Were they even here in this timeline?

When it sank in, he was excited and happy to be back. No, those words didn't suffice on how he felt. He didn't know what his family did this time, but this meant he could see them again. For days, he embraced what he took for granted. He enjoyed spending time at the park, tasting free food samples, holding conversations with strangers, and even helping someone cross the street. For a few days, he was living the definition of cloud nine.

However, it didn't take long to experience how the real world worked again. The first big change was the fact he no longer possessed his powers. The first instance was when he landed himself a gig for volunteer work in exchange for food. He subconsciously tried to reach for something with one of his other-worldly tentacles. But as one of his fellow volunteers asked what he was doing, Ben snapped out of it. Needless to say, he was shocked- and he didn't know if losing his powers was for the better or worse. At this point, he needed to see his family more than ever. Any of them (excluding his adoptive father. That would be a leap too early even for him to take) would keep him grounded in this surreal, yet normal world.

With the little money he made, he opted to buy himself a small treat. But with so many to choose from, he didn't know which he would leave him the most satisfied. Ugh. Why am I thinking that I want a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich now of all times? He knew that that snack was a certain sibling's favorite. Maybe he just thought about it because he missed him, like how he missed everyone else. He then let out a sigh, his hoodie over his head effectively making him look broody and glum.

Without warning, he found himself falling onto the floor. He sensed someone hold onto him, and his first instinct was to be combat-ready. It seemed that even in this timeline, all those formative years of training were ingrained into him. But then, he swore she called him by his name. Someone knew him? From this timeline? Again, his head immediately had so many questions- but again, he was excited and happy. Someone found him. He found someone.

Once he calmed down, he let out a shaky breath. His eyes were bright, honest, and pleading. "I'm sorry to ask this from out of nowhere, but... you know me?" He didn't know whether he was elated or nervous that he could hardly keep his thoughts in parallel with his words. "A-And Diego. You... You mentioned his name just now. That's my brother, right?"

[miss-multifandom-mess]

My Shassie Master Fic Rec List

A List of Shassie Fics I Recommend

Clean Slate by TheStigsWriterCousin

Chapters: 8/8

Words: 15,865

Tags: Amnesia, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: An on the job accident leaves Lassiter without a memory. Who better to help him get it back than our favourite psychic that remembers everything?

Tell Him by Otava

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 3,159

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Undercover, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Mutual Pining

Summary: Prompt: "What about the classic fake dating scenario?" Lassiter runs into Shawn while undercover.

Gay Chicken Dare by VickyVicarious

Chapters: 2/2

Words: 1,476

Tags: Mutual Pining

Summary: Sometimes Shawn and Gus play a game. A game called 'Gay Chicken Dare'.

By Whatever Beans Necessary by hawkeyedkoi

Chapters: 7/7

Words: 35,225

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe, Coffee Shops, Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining, Implied Sexual Content

Summary: The last thing Carlton expected was for the Chief to inform him that he would be taking the person he's been dating for the past four months to a law enforcement retreat. This wasn't how he had anticipated introducing his significant other to his coworkers at the station. Especially because he wasn't dating anyone.

Thankfully, there's Shawn Spencer, barista and psychic(??), to the rescue.

Drink Your Feelings Away by webslingingstark

Chapters: 4/4

Words: 6,661

Tags: Pre-Slash, Fluff, Drunken Confessions

Summary: No way. No way in hell Head Detective Carlton Lassiter would like kissing Psychic Consultant Shawn Spencer. So why did he keep dreaming it? PRE-SLASH

Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark by orphan_account

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 1,468

Tags: Fluff, Idiots in Love, Unspoken words

Summary: What if Shawn had called Lassie instead of Jules? Also Lassiter’s thoughts during the episode.

The Head, The Heart, The Whole Damn... Thing by sebviathan

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 5,226

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, First Kiss

Summary: "Lassie, we're comrades now. I do this all the time, I can walk you through this! This is just the weird part of the spit-out-a-crazy-theory process. You say it—everyone thinks you're crazy, you're incompetent, you should probably color your sideburns.... Truth: we're one in the same."

A Moment of Weakness is One's Greatest Strength by The_law_scholar

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 3,180

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic

Summary: "I'm sorry," Shawn said softly. "I didn't know you were sick."

"I'm not," Carlton said stubbornly. "Maybe it was something I ate. Or maybe I got a stomach virus. I don't know."

Shawn raised an eyebrow as he rubbed circles into the man's back, just as Carlton had done for him while they were in bed. "Yeah, I think both food poisoning and stomach bugs constitute as being sick. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't typically display weakness in front of others," Carlton answered simply.

every perfect summer's eating me alive by wywrprenti

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 6,196

Tags: Secret Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together

Summary: They keep quiet about this new development in their relationship. Gus doesn't even know and honestly, he's a little impressed Shawn hasn't slipped up and told him yet.

It doesn't end up mattering either way though, because then he's framed for murder.

One Night at Henry Spencer's by rosey_angel

Chapters: 4/4

Words: 2,889

Tags: Secret Relationship

Summary: Henry overhears something he shouldn't and he makes a startling discovery. Set after the events of 'Shawn takes a shot in the dark'.

Toung Tied and Messy by rose-live (rose_live)

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 1,838

Tags: Valentine's Day, Fluff, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship

Summary: Shawn is being secretive and won't come in for a case the one time Lassiter *actually* wants him there and takes it the wrong way. Broody!Lassiter and romantic!Shawn. Just some cute one-shot Valentine's fluff because I'm a sucker.

Rewind by becgnet

Chapters: 2/2

Words: 2,319

Tags: Feels, Angst

Summary: "Shawn smiled as he was supposed to, and left as he was supposed to, and made it to the reception without crying, as he was supposed to, as despite all their differences, Lassiter had made Shawn his Best Man."

Based off of the song "Satisfied" from Hamilton. I strongly suggest listening to it before or with this, but it's perfectly fine without it.

Talk Too Much by TryingToScribble

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 2,032

Tags: Coming out of the Closet, Some Fluff, First Kiss

Summary: Shawn talks too much. There's a crime scene for God's sake! Lassiter finally shuts him up.

If I Was Your Girlfriend by birdkeeperklink

Chapters: 26/26

Words: 73,512

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Pining, Minor Character Death, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Angst, Fluff and Humor, Explicit Consent, Sharing a Bed

Summary: When the SBPD can't trace the source of the death threats against a prominent member of the LGBTQ community, Carlton has to go undercover to suss out the threat.

Problem: Due to a miscommunication, he has to pretend to have a boyfriend.

Problem #2: Nobody's volunteering for the position...except for Spencer.

Meanwhile, Shawn sees an opportunity to show off his amazing boyfriend skills. Gus is sure he's going to get himself shot.

Though It's Easy to Pretend by writesometimes

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 17,089

Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Fake/Pretend Relationship

Summary: Lassiter goes undercover as a rich tech entrepreneur. Shawn is mistaken for his boyfriend. The two must work together to solve a case and present themselves as a happy, loving couple.

So Easy to Shatter, So Hard to Rebuild by nightwalker8321

Chapters: 18/18

Words: N/A

Tags: Betrayal, Happiness, mpreg, sadness

Summary: The heart is a thing that is so easy to break, and nearly impossible to put back together. For everyone who knows Shawn Spencer they would come to know just how ard especially a certain Head Detective.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Oh.

I just wanted to write something and this happened. Modern au - college?

vaguely based on “Instead of My Room” by Charlie Burg

tw: lots of swearing, affectionate frustration, hospital mention (in passing)

---

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Why are you moping? I brought you a cherry Coke, didn’t I?”

“You said you were going to come over yesterday,” Jaskier frowned. He was draped over the side of his lumpy full-size mattress like the fainting heroine painted across every uncomfortable dime-store erotica cover. He jutted his lip forward and deepened his frown a little more until it transformed into a full-on pout, “That wasn’t very nice of you, dear heart.”

“I told you,” Geralt huffed. “I needed some time to myself.”

“You could have texted me that before I waited up until, like, midnight.” 

“Did you… Did you really stay up that late waiting for me?” Geralt asked. The tall, handsome football player (the love of Jaskier’s life, of course) had the gall to actually look confused about why Jaskier would stay up two hours past his usual bedtime waiting for Geralt to appear. Or even contact him.

“Duh! Of course I stayed up waiting for you!” the younger man leapt to his feet and began to pace the length of his tiny bedroom. Geralt felt his back pressing against Jaskier’s shitty desk chair on instinct, trying to make himself smaller. “I was fucking worried, Geralt! You said you were coming over after your last class and then you never showed! I was seconds away from calling the fucking hospital to see if any mysteriously broody white-haired men had been admitted with amnesia because obviously the only reason my best friend in the whole wide world would bail on me without letting me know he was safely at home was fucking amnesia!”

Geralt blinked stupidly up at Jaskier with shining eyes and glowing cheeks. The brunette was standing before him, short of breath, his fists balled at his sides and his blue eyes bright with fury. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. “Oh.”

“Oh?! That’s all you have to say for yourself, Geralt deRiv!? Oh?” 

“I didn’t- I hadn’t really- I mean…” Geralt’s tongue felt heavy in his mouth. The back of his throat had gone arid. Chokingly so. He floundered desperately to communicate how he was feeling but, as usual, the words failed to materialize. He whined like a child and managed to stutter out a heartfelt: “Jaskier!”

“Fuck,” the younger man covered his face with his hands and dragged them slowly down. “Sorry, dear heart. I was just- Nevermind. I’m sorry.”

“I owe you the apology, Jask,” Geralt stated. It was as simple as that. “I should have communicated better. I should communicate better… I’m not” -he flailed his hands, his brows scrunching up again- “I’m not clever like you. I’m not good at using my head for stuff. Words aren’t like poetry they’re like… bricks. They’re heavy and difficult sometimes. But you, Jaskier, you’re… You can fucking paint with them. I feel inadequate a lot around you and I don’t know how to deal with it because-”

Geralt cut himself off and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. Jaskier was staring at him, eyes wide and mouth respectfully closed. The air in the room was heavy; Geralt thought he might faint if someone (not him, of course) didn’t speak up soon. 

“Geralt, that was incredibly poetic. That was some romantic comedy-type shit, dearest. But I have to know, because I think this might have been the gist of things... Do you…” Jaskier paused and took a deep, steadying breath. “Do you like me?”

“It’s more than liking you, Jask.”

The younger man giggled and stepped closer. He winked playfully and said with all the sassiness in the world: “Oh.”

[profoundtyrantharmony]

I posted 261 times in 2021

43 posts created (16%)

218 posts reblogged (84%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.1 posts.

I added 470 tags in 2021

#loki x reader - 80 posts

#fluff - 75 posts

#reader insert - 45 posts

#bucky x reader - 44 posts

#bucky barnes x reader - 42 posts

#loki - 41 posts

#loki laufeyson - 39 posts

#smut - 38 posts

#ivar x reader - 34 posts

#marvel - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#au as in a different david 8 than the one who went on to kill all the nasty humans and engineers

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Bucky Barnes Oneshot I recommend

~123...~

Spread some screwball & lick it (from @221bshrlocked )

~A~

Insatiable (from @avintagekiss24)

~B~

Badass Balerina (from @bby-bxrnes )

Baby (from @buckyandberries)

I want to cuddle (from @buckybarnesstar)

Stand tall (from @buckys-broody-muffin)

Snow (from @blueseasfanfics)

You should dance // Help a buddy out (from @buckysgoldenheart)

Puppy love (from @bbbb-barnes)

That's better (from @bluehourbucky)

READ THE COMPLETE FICS REC ON MY ACCOUNT

Last updated : 11/02/21

118 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 14:49:11 GMT

#4

Title : Love, Blood...Loss ?

Request by @jemmaluvr​ :  A oneshot where the reader is with a poly relationship with the og 6 avengers (+bucky) and she gets shot on a mission and almost dies

Words : around 2960

Warning : FLUFF, Attempt at SMUT (Minors DNI) , slight ANGST

Note : Reader is an Avengers recruited by FURY (after Loki’s invasion in 2012) when she was still a mossaad agent. She quits after having accepted FURY’s offer. Italics means dialogues. I’m not a doctor so it might have medical innacurencies.

Masterlist // Request

124 notes • Posted 2021-11-09 13:10:39 GMT

#3

Avengers cast fics I recommend

Sebastian Stan

Oneshot

~L~

Romanian rambling // Braids (from @littlemarvelfics)

~R~

A mistake (from @revengingbarnes )

Serie

~B~

One week // Another week (from @buckysgoldenheart ) [ALL COMPLETE]

~C~

Apartment (from @cravingmarvel) [COMPLETE]

Chris Evans

Oneshot

~H~

Bullying (from @hailmary-yramliah)

~I~

Dogs (from @idy-ll-ique )

Serie

~A~

A picture can change your life (from @ainstgirl ) [COMPLETE]

~B~

Dog days of summer (from @brieannakeogh) [COMPLETE]

Chris Hemsworth

Oneshot

~I~

The moon and the ocean (from @inn-o-cencebabes)

Serie

~H~

The assistant (from @hemstolemyheart) [COMPLETE]

~T~

Abroad (from @thorsstorms) [ONGOING]

Tom Hiddleston

Oneshot

~A~

Unresponsive (from @ancientwastedlores)

~D~

Have you ever // Quarantine // Holiday in Tulum // Drunk Hiddles // The kiss that broke the internet // Shower for two (from @devilbat)

Serie

~C~

Pen Pals (from @caramell0w) [COMPLETE]

~E~

Him and Her (from @elusive-beauty) [COMPLETE]

~F~

A new start (from @fanficshiddles ) [COMPLETE]

All/Some Cast

Oneshot

~M~

Delicate (from @morizoras-cave)

Serie

~C~

Fangirling pays off (from @captainsherlockwinchester110283) [COMPLETE]

~F~

A few weeks (from @fictitiousfoodie) [COMPLETE]

~T~

Marvel parody // traffic (from @ticklikeabomb) [ALL COMPLETE]

READ THE COMPLETE FIC REC ON MY ACCOUNT

Last updated : 11/13/21

125 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 14:49:56 GMT

#2

Ivar fics I recommend

Oneshot

~A~

Making Ivar laugh (from @abonelessgod)

Affection // Marked by the gods // Hungry (from @akamaiden)

Confessions // Bathing habits (from @aqoamoon)

The best choice (from @a-smile-hides)

~C~

Ivar claims you with a lick (from @cecesaurus)

Serie

~123~

The devil and the snake (from @21_years_old_lady on ao3) [COMPLETE]

~A~

Girl crush (from @akamaiden) [COMPLETE]

The battle between love and fire (from @alexhogh7137) [COMPLETE]

~B~

Bang bang // The girl Ivar love (from @bonniebird) [ALL COMPLETE]

The right woman (from @BroltaAMaga on Ao3) [COMPLETE]

READ THE COMPLETE FIC REC ON MY ACCOUNT

Last updated : 12/04/21

163 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 14:49:39 GMT

#1

Loki Oneshots I recommend

 ~A~

Loki says touch your... (from @angrythingstarlight)

~B~

Stop and smell the flower (from @bellesque)

Tinder swipe gone left (from @buckys-old-habits )

~C~

Amnesia (from @coffeekeyboardsss)

Loki loves Loki // A single bed // Just a touch of love (from @clandestineloki )

Black like my soul (from @cordytriestowrite )

READ THE COMPLETE FIC REC ON MY ACCOUNT

Last updated : 09/04/21

275 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 14:48:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Honestly the great thing about thr characters is thry are all a piece of the actor. One shot characters they more often do things that dont mesh with them (i.e. talesin having fun being the ocerly broody batman). But they think alot about what their character might do and think. Talesin is essentially minor hollywood royalty. Grandson of a director and child actor percy is who ue sort of sees himself as, a rich boy with priviledge who uses that perspective to tear down the rich and powerful who deserve it. For many interviews i heard him talk about how percy was a terrible person, yet he never really did anything more morally ambiguous than the rest this is because the THOUGHTS he had and things he considered, tal thought were bad. Essentially "im a terrible person for thinking this".

Cadeusus is essentially the person he wishes he could be for others. Like cad, tal has wisdom, quirks and kindness but doesnt see himself as morally pure.

Imo ashton is essentially mollynauk whos been through hell. Molly was his attempt to create what Tal WANTED to be. This goth chaos gremlin who did what he wanted and only interfered to help someone(discretely so they wouldn't thank him) or stick it to those who deaerved it. And you can see how this relates to the others insofar as molly is: thr culmination of the enviroment he was raised, a good person with no soul, and a self proclaimed asshole.

Reflecting on percy i think tal sees his inner thoughts and the privilege he had and resents it and himself and molly was a way for him to explore the idea of identifying based on the family he chose and rejecting the past as unimportant to him.

And you see in ashton a sort of continuation that he wasnt able to explore with molly. A begruging acceptance of the past , but a rejection of having deserved the bullshit. Ashton is molly without the luxary of a working body or the amnesia to shield him from the past. Instead of being a goth accepting hedonism for fun, hes a punk rejecting the parts of the world that rejected him. And thinking of him mentioning how HE has to deal with chronic pain, i feel like ahston was made from a perspective of recreating molly but years later with more wisdom, perspective, anger and pain.

I’m at the point where I can’t tell if I actually have a crush on a fictional character, or if it’s just a by proxy thing because I like their actor

[sancastarcs]

I try as hard as I can to stay away from the Batfamily because mostly my favourite parts are from fanon and Bruce is being written like a sociopath in the canon so but it's so hard.

Like no kidding I just saw the panel where Bruce h*ts Tim and I don't want to be invested in Batfamily ever again.

Fuck DC for constantly making Bruce an abusive sociopath and taking away the love he has for his children. OR MAKING HIM TALK ABOUT HOW WOULD IT FEEL LIKE TO BE A NORMAL MAN AND HAVE A FAMILY WHEN HE IS WILLINGLY BATMAN AND HE HAS A FAMILY

Fuck DC for keeping on screwing Jason up and not letting him grow as a character.

Fuck DC for whatever the hell they are doing with Dick, not only pulling a fucking amnesia trope to one of DC's fan favourite character but also have NONE from his family LOOK out for him. (Yes I am looking at you Bruce)

Fuck DC for killing Alfred.

Fuck DC for keeping making Damian's life a hell, as if he didn't have a great development and taking away ALL his healthy relationships(Dick, Alfred,JON).ALSO FUCK DC FOR THE CONSTANT WHITE WASHING FOR BOTH HIM AND TALIA. IT AIN'T CUTE.

Fuck DC for forgetting that Stephanie, Cassandra, Duke, AND TIM exist. They are heavily important and y'all keep them out of the stories

Fuck DC generally for not understanding that we are SICK from the dark broody theme. That we don't like when our heroes HIT their CHILDREN when they are supposed HEROES. That not letting characters GROW, rather let them in their worse, edgier version of themselves

Fuck DC in general.

Ah also fuck Tom King, I will always love Batcat but the BABY MF MOVE? ALSO SELINA RUNNING AWAY?

FUCK. YOU. DC.

I will also like to add that even though I personally don't like Talia, FUCK YOU GRANT MORRISON FOR YOUR MOMMY ISSUES AND FOR YOU RUINING THE BEST AND MOST WELL KNOWN ARAB REPRESANTION IN ALL OF COMIC BOOK HISTORY

FUCK YOU DC EXECUTIVES THAT Y'ALL STILL TRYING TO VILLAINISE TALIA, THE ONLY ARAB REP FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.

Talia and her fanbase deserve so much better than that

TALIA AL GHUL IS NOT A RAPIST.

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Twenty-Three) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual​

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Dom/sub relationship. Sir kink. Name calling. Brat taming. Bondage (tied back with a neck tie). Fingering. Choking. (Slight breath play?). Talk of kidnapping and murder-- everything Criminal Minds.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 16297

Timeline: Season 3 Episode 19. Two months after part twenty-two.

Hotch was standing at the window in his office, his hands buried in his pockets. His face was flat with a natural frown, his eyes scanning the bullpen, not looking for anything specific. When I noticed that his gaze was lingering on me from time to time a little too long, I leaned back in my chair, bit the back of my pen, and stared back with a smirk. I thought that the challenge would earn me a smile or at least a beckoning finger to lure me to his office, but he didn’t budge. He continued to watch the BAU move and work around him while he was lost in thought.

Something was wrong. The fact that he didn’t even pretend to not see me by going to sit down at his desk to distract himself told me that he really wasn’t paying attention and that his mind was elsewhere. It could have been related to whatever just happened on the phone call he was on only a few minutes ago. Or maybe it had to do with the way I kind of blue balled him that morning. He had woken up a little handsy, and I tried to play along before we realized that we were running late, and I made the call to wait until after work. Whatever was going on, it had him in a twist.

Finally, after a few minutes of me watching him, he finally gave in and exited his office. He walked down into the bullpen, waiting a moment to make his presence known while he just listened to the shenanigans the team had going on. As usual, Morgan was giving Reid a rough time, which was earning a laugh from the entire office. Garcia had brought in a photo she found of Emily in high school, which then turned into finding old pictures of Reid. Of course, Reid was a huge dork, and it was the perfect ammunition for Morgan to poke fun at him.

When Hotch cleared his throat, though, everyone stopped and turned. Just as I had noticed something was wrong, so too did the rest of the team. So when Morgan asked what was wrong, Hotch shuffled on the balls of his feet awkwardly and answered, “Brian Matloff woke up.”

Reid and Morgan exchanged a glance.

“What are you talking about, Hotch?” Morgan asked.

“I’m about to go to the hospital, but I got the call a few minutes ago.”

“It’s been four years.”

“I know.”

“Anyone care to explain to the class?” Emily spoke up, injecting herself into the conversation because the rest of us were in dire need of context.

“Brian Matloff, the Blue Ridge Strangler,” Reid clarified for us. “Hotch, Morgan, and I worked his case about four years back.”

“We nearly had him, too, but the son of a bitch leapt off a building,” Morgan hissed through his teeth.

It was clearly still a sore topic for Hotch and Morgan, though Reid seemed mostly unbothered. But that was what had Hotch all upset and broody in his office. Morgan didn’t like letting criminals get away, and if they died, he felt like that was worse than letting them go. As for Hotch, it sounded like the case was something that he had a lot of problems with after the fact. Maybe he was scrutinized for how the case ended, or maybe he was also upset that Matloff got out of it without serving his time. Either way, neither of them seemed to be over it, even though it had been four years.

“He killed three victims in the Blue Ridge Parkway,” Hotch gave more explanation since Morgan was letting his anger cloud his thoughts and conversational skills.

“Well, allegedly,” Reid said. “He was never convicted because after he jumped off that building, he went into a coma.”

“Yeah, well, he’s awake now,” Hotch scoffed, crossing his arms.  “And he’s finally going to be tried. They want the three of us to testify. I’m headed down to the hospital now to talk with the prosecutor, Cece Hillenbrand, and we’ll discuss where we’ll go from here.”

“You want backup?” Morgan asked.

Hotch shook his head. “I’ll let you guys know everything once I’m done.” He buried his hands in his pockets as he returned to his office to grab his things then head out.

We all looked at each other blankly. The information Hotch just dropped on us hadn’t yet settled, and confusion was still hanging in the air. I could tell that Morgan was pissed, and Reid was simple mind-boggled. Emily and I still didn’t have all the pieces, which left our confusion in a separate category from the rest of them. We weren’t around when this Blue Ridge Strangler case was ongoing, and I hadn’t even heard of it before. Hotch probably forgot about it altogether until he got that call. It didn’t surprise me that it hadn’t come up before, but the shock of it still hit me with the same force that it clearly hit Hotch, Morgan, and Reid.

When Hotch left his office with his briefcase, we all watched him. Morgan looked anxious, like he wanted to go with Hotch, that the offer he made for backup was less of an offer and more of a “let’s go” statement that Hotch turned down. Then, when he was gone, I expected the office to go back to work, but no one moved. We didn’t even turn back to our paperwork. It was quiet. Telephones rang, keyboards clacked, Anderson was running around and asking for lunch orders. Yet no one moved or said anything. It was such an odd thing to think about. Usually, when we took down Unsubs, one of two things would happen: we would take them in and they’d serve their time, or for one reason or another, they’d die. We never, ever had an instance before like this where an Unsub would wake up years afterwards. What were we supposed to do? How were we supposed to respond?

“Four years…” Morgan mumbled, throwing his pen on his desk. “Four years that asshole is out of it, and then he just… wakes up.”

“It’s a miracle he even woke up,” Reid said, still dumbfounded. I had never seen him so baffled in my life. Reid always had something to say, but not this time. Finally.

Truth be told, though, it didn’t feel like a miracle. Matloff waking up when things were finally getting better after Garcia got shot seemed like a big “fuck you” from the universe. At some point we deserved a break, right? I mean, Hotch, of all people, deserved a break. He had been working tirelessly for years, and it seemed like since our brief suspensions, he was working even harder. I just wanted him to stop. I wanted him to slow down, to look at life, to look at our family, and appreciate what we had. Matloff waking up was just going to prolong that attempt… It was exhausting.

About an hour later, we were all still sitting around silently. Reid managed to get back to his work, but he was slow, which was odd. Emily was trying to fit all the pieces together of what was happening and what was about to happen, meanwhile Morgan and I were still just… there. When my phone started ringing, the whole office jumped. Even Anderson jumped in his own skin. Hotch was calling me already. Hopefully, it was good news that I could share with the office to ease everyone’s conscience.

“Greenaway,” I answered.

“We’ve got a problem,” Hotch said in a breathless panic. “Matloff had amnesia.” My eyes widened and I spun around in my chair to look at Morgan. He glanced up at me, catching my worry, and in return grew confused. “Dave’s coming down to help us rebuild the case, but our key witness died of an overdose two years ago, and the prosecution still wants me to testify, but not Morgan or Reid, and I—”

“Hotch,” I caught his attention after he started rambling. “It’s going to be okay. What do you need?”

“Approach it like it’s any case? Go through everything. Victimology, M.O., find the evidence, build the profile, do everything you can to help us put this guy away.”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “I’ll get the team on it right away.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

I looked around the bullpen to see that everyone was watching me, waiting eagerly for answers. I couldn’t say it back while they were all watching. As much as I wanted to, Hotch and I had our rules for a reason, and even something as simple as “I love you” just wasn’t appropriate in front of the team. At least not yet. Considering how comfortable the two of us were getting around each other at the office, it almost felt like saying “I love you” while around our co-workers wasn’t a big deal. But that was a conversation for another time, I supposed. So all I said back to Hotch was, “I’ll see you when you get back.” And then, without saying anything else, I had to hang up on him. One of these days I was going to say it back to him while around our friends, and I wasn’t going to be afraid to do it. Hopefully that time was soon.

“What was that about?” Morgan asked.

“We need to start building a case against Matloff,” I answered, standing from my seat. Everyone got up from their desks and followed me to the roundtable. “Matloff supposedly has amnesia. He doesn’t remember the murders.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Morgan scoffed.

I shook my head. “JJ, do you think that you and Garcia can get the case files for us?”

“Sure,” she accepted, leaving through the back door to head to Garcia’s office.

“Hotch wants us to build the case up from the ground,” I told the remaining members of the team in the room. Morgan, Reid, and Emily all sighed. It was going to be a very long day. “Hotch and Rossi should be calling back with more information once they have it.”

JJ and Garcia returned with copies of the Matloff case files for each of us. They handed them out then took a seat with us at the table. We had to start with victimology, like always. Three women were found murdered and buried in Blue Ridge Parkway. They were all found buried next to each other in shallow, two-foot deep graves. The soil over the bodies was fairly new when they were found, which referenced that the Unsub was going back again and again to revisit the bodies. The victims themselves were slim, beautiful, brunette, brown eyed women. They had all been out for jogs on the pathway when they went missing. Victimology wise, he went for women who attracted him sexually, and he always went for them when they were alone and least expecting it. He took them, strangled them, and buried them deep in the forest where he thought no one would find them.

Based on such information, we could determine the simple: he visited the part enough to know it like the back of his hand. A park ranger would have that knowledge. He liked to revisit the scenes, which made it sexually motivated. He had a ruse and a plan in order to take his victims, which made him intelligent and organized. All of which pointed directly to Brian Matloff.

The best part was, with the third victim, Darci Corbet, there was a witness who could put Brian Matloff at the scene. While that sounded like that would suddenly make this an open and shut case, the downside was that Marvin Leopold, the witness on the trail that morning, died two years ago of an overdose. So the fact of the matter was this: there was no physical evidence connecting Matloff to the crimes, no one to put him at the scenes, and our Unsub had amnesia. Plain and simple, we were fucked.

Hotch wanted us to rebuild the profile, but… no matter how we looked at it, it pointed to Matloff. That was the unfortunate part of looking at the case after they had caught the guy. We were biased, and our profile was always going to be tweaked to point fingers at Matloff. Emily, JJ, and I were supposed to be the most impartial at that table, yet the three of us kept coming up with the same profile they built four years ago. Great. That wasn’t exactly helpful. How were we supposed to find another way to tie this to Matloff when our tunnel vision was blinding us from seeing outside the box? I almost wished that Hotch hadn’t told us about Matloff first. Maybe this would have been easier.

“What about this?” Emily asked, pointing to something in her file before turning it around for all of us to see. She had spotted something about Matloff’s fascination of Native American Culture, and she was curious how that helped the profile back then.

“Matloff was obsessed with the Native American belief that burying a body face down traps the soul of the person and prevents them from haunting the killer,” Reid explained. “Tying together his interest with the mythology, we were able to hone in on his M.O.”

“What caught his eye about that?” JJ asked. “I mean, he grew up Catholic in the city. How would he have grown into the obsession?”

Morgan shrugged. “We didn’t get that far.”

“What about the jewelry he took as souvenirs? Does that have anything to do with the mythology?” I asked.

“Not that I know of,” Reid said, shaking his head. “We don’t even know what he did with them. We were hoping that he kept them at his apartment so that we could have physical evidence tying him to the crime, but we never found anything.”

My phone buzzed with a text suddenly. I turned it over on the table to light up the screen and get a look. Hotch had texted to say: “Judge wants to meet this afternoon with how to proceed.” I looked up at the team as they were still chatting about what to do, and an idea hit me. I picked my phone up and texted Hotch back. “Psych eval.” It took him a few minutes to respond, which was why I was shocked when all it read was: “Thanks. Love you.” That meant that they were either going to do it, or Hotch was completely ignoring me. I wasn’t sure which. Then, my phone buzzed again. “Can you and JJ go to the hospital to learn more about Matloff’s amnesia and his stay there over the past four years?” I rolled my eyes. I texted back a reluctant: “Sure. Love you.”, then buried my phone in my pocket.

I looked at JJ and nodded towards the door. We gathered our things after she caught my hint. On our way out to the car, I told JJ what we were doing. The plan was to head to Matloff’s hospital, talk to the doctors, find out what we could about him over the past four years. It wasn’t much to go on, but we were going to do what we could.

At the hospital, JJ and I navigated our way to the wing where Matloff had been kept for the past four years. People were hurrying around us, monitors were beeping, doctors were shouting for help, and the elevator was dinging with every floor it passed, but JJ and I stayed to ourselves. We walked quietly and calmly, making our way there without bothering anyone. We knew what we were there for, we knew how to get the information, and we knew where to get it. There was no point running around like headless chicken like every other time I had been to the hospital over the past year.

When we reached the front desk of the wing that we needed to visit, JJ asked for the doctor that was overseeing Matloff’s case. We waited a few minutes while the nurse went off to find him, tell him what was going on, and bring him back over to us in the waiting area. After we spotted him coming down the hallway, storming his way over to us, JJ and I fixed our postures for the questioning that would ensue.

“What can I do for you agents?” the doctor asked hurriedly. He obviously had other places to be, but when the FBI comes asking for you, that usually trumps everything else.

“We just have a few questions for you about Brian Matloff,” JJ answered.

“What can you tell us about his amnesia?” I asked

The doctor chuckled. “The simple way or the complicated way?”

“Try us,” I squinted at him lightly.

“The patient has Focal Retrograde Amnesia, meaning he doesn’t remember anything from before he woke up this morning. His name, his birthday, his address, that’s all wiped from his memory. His intelligence remains the same, and his ability to form new memories is still intact, but I’m afraid he won’t be much use to you in court.”

“What about his stay here?” JJ asked. “Was there any sign that he’d wake up different, or was he a unique patient in any way?”

The doctor shook his head. “After about two weeks, you always tend to forget about the coma patients unless it’s a check up that you’re assigned to.”

“What about visitors?” I inquired, crossing my arms. I mean, it wasn’t prison. Anyone could come in and visit Matloff. It seemed like at the time of the investigation, he was a pretty “popular” murderer, and there was a fad around obsessing over psychopaths. Someone could have come to visit him. Right?

“Yeah,” the doctor nodded, “he had a visitor every day.”

“Every day?” I scoffed.

“Do you have a visitor log?” JJ asked.

“I’ll grab it for you guys.” He walked over to the desk to look for the log.

I turned to JJ. “Every day for four years?” I inquired. “You only do that if you’re in love or family.”

“So we’re looking for an admirer or someone he’s related to? But I thought his parents disowned him and he doesn’t have any siblings.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see that the doctor was returning with the visitor’s log. “Then we’re either dealing with a crazy fan or…”

“Her name’s Nina Moore,” he told us while handing it over to JJ.

“What does she look like?” I asked.

The doctor shrugged lightly. “Um… I mean… She had dark hair, she was short…”

“Was she white?”

“No. She looked Hispanic or Mediterranean.”

A thought struck me. “Native American?”

The doctor furrowed his brows before nodding vaguely. “Sure.”

JJ gave me a short, acknowledging nod before I stepped to the side to call Hotch. We never knew why Matloff liked Native American culture and mythology so much, but if he was in any way related to this Nina Moore, and if she really was of Native American descent, it made sense. If it could help the case, which it probably could, then we needed to find Nina Moore as soon as possible. Hotch needed to know first.

“Hotch,” I said into the phone when he picked up. “JJ and I found something at the hospital.” There was silence on the other end, but I could tell that he was listening. “There was a woman who visited Matloff every day. Her name’s Nina Moore, and the doctor said that she’s possibly Native American.”

“That’s great. Have JJ call Garcia to find out if you can find her. Cece and I just got to the office with Matloff. We’re about to start his psych eval, if you want to come in.”

I paused. “The judge approved the eval?”

Hotch hummed a, “Yes.”

“You… you motioned for it after I mentioned it?”

“Of course I did.”

I let my eyes fall shut as relief washed over me. He listened. He trusted me. I was so worried that I had stepped on his toes by offering up the idea of the psych eval. After how he responded to that text, I thought that he wasn’t going to listen to me, but he did. I had nothing to worry about. I knew Hotch trusted me, I should’ve known that he would listen. I almost felt stupid.

“I’ll be there as soon as JJ drops me off,” I told him.

“Okay,” he sighed. I could tell how tired he was already. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” It finally felt good to say it back after I was barred from doing it earlier in front of everyone in the bullpen.

When the line went dead, I put my phone away and told JJ that we needed to go. In the car, JJ called Garcia, as planned, to ask her to look for a Nina Moore. The idea was that Garcia would get us some information before we’d get back to the office, which meant that JJ could immediately leave to go seek out a new lead connecting to Nina. Thankfully, Garcia, the goddess she is, got us the information before we even pulled into the parking lot. She called back to let us know that Nina’s last name used to be Genesee. Through her wonderful talent of hacking, she was able to find out that Nina had a baby thirty-seven years ago, around the time Matloff was born, and gave her son up for adoption. When I asked if she had any Native American roots, Garcia chuckled before telling me, “Oh, yeah. She’s obsessed with it.” That was everything we needed.

So when we got to the office, JJ switched to take the driver’s seat, and I headed inside. On my way to the interrogation room down the hall to the left, I could see that Morgan, Reid, Rossi, and Emily were all in the boardroom, sitting around the roundtable, working on putting more of the case and profile together. They were all so nose deep in work that they hadn’t noticed my arrival at Quantico, even after I backpedaled to put my purse under my desk, then headed back out into the hallway.

In the mirror room connected to the interrogation room, I ran into Hotch and a woman with him. Hotch smiled lightly at me when he saw that it was me. The woman in the room didn’t acknowledge me yet, though.

“Y/N, this is Cece Hillenbrand,” Hotch said, pointing to the blonde woman next to him. “Cece, this is Agent Greenaway.” We shook hands and greeted each other with a smile.

“How’s it going in there?” I asked.

“Well, we already performed the eval once, yet nothing happened.”

“He passed?”

Hotch nodded. “I don’t know how.”

“Maybe he really doesn’t remember.”

“It’s possible. I want to run the test again, though.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “However, I want to do something different this time. I don’t like sending you in there with Unsubs who see you as their type, but…” Hotch hesitated while biting the nail on his thumb. “I think that if you sit in there with Matloff while they do the test again, it might…” He sighed and crossed his arms again. “It might arouse him enough that we might be able to get something out of him. But I won’t send you in there unless you—”

“I’ll do it, Hotch.” I stepped to the right and grabbed the handle of the door. “I’ll be fine.” I turned the knob, opened the door, and stepped into the room. As I entered, Matloff craned his neck to look at me. “Hello, Mr. Matloff, I’m Agent Greenaway. I’m going to sit in with you while we run the test again. Is that alright?”

Matloff silently nodded.

I took the seat across from him, just beside the monitor that was set up to show him the crime scene images of his victims. I nodded to the mirror window, a signal for them to start the test again. Just as I heard the slideshow buzz awake, I returned my stare to Matloff. He was watching the monitor intently, but I took note of how his eyes didn’t dilate, and his body didn’t move. Most Unsubs, even if they were trying to hide sexual attraction to their crimes, had an involuntary reaction to shift about uncomfortably. Usually, that had to do with trying to ignore any arousal so that their attraction wasn’t obvious. But not Matloff. He didn’t move a muscle. In fact, his face contorted slightly to show disgust and disapproval towards what he did to his victims. Most obvious, however, was that he didn’t look at me once.

When it was over, Matloff sighed, blinking his eyes dramatically as he looked away from the screen like he was trying to forget what he saw. I squinted at him slightly, trying to put together a profile in my mind. Either he was very good at hiding that he knew about the murders or he genuinely had no idea. My guess was the latter, unfortunately. And when the doctor came in, Matloff didn’t look at her, either, though she was also his type. Something just wasn’t fitting. The profile that the team built up four years ago, and the one we were recreating now wasn’t adding up. Something about Matloff was off.

I stood from my seat with the intent of leaving the room while the doctor detached him from all the different computers he was hooked up to. As I made my way around the table, reaching for the door, Matloff grabbed my arm. I seized up, looking down at him before thinking about trying to pull away. He glanced up at me, both of us ignoring how Hotch burst the door open to get between us. Matloff didn’t let go of me as Hotch tried to pry us apart, though.

“Do I know you?” he asked me. I furrowed my brows. “I mean, did we meet before, when I was still… you know…”

I snatched my arm away from him. “No. We’ve never met.”

Hotch kept his eyes glued to Matloff as I pushed past him in a hurry to leave the room. I didn’t care that he touched me or asked if we had met before, but what irked me was how he didn’t look at me once until I was leaving… and he didn’t appear enthralled at all. He seemed impartial. Interesting, considering his past. Perhaps he really didn’t remember what he did or who he was.

“So?” Hotch asked, closing the door behind us.

I shook my head. “Nothing. He didn’t flinch once. He didn’t even react positively. He seemed disgusted, Hotch. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t move, he didn’t smirk, his eyes didn’t even search the photos. He probably passed the test again.”

Hotch sighed in defeat. “Shit.”

“What does that mean?” Cece asked.

“It means that he really doesn’t remember—” Hotch began.

“Or you got the wrong guy,” I finished.

Cece’s arms fell to her sides for a moment as she came to terms with what she said. Either way, her case was going to fall apart in court very fast. The psych eval wasn’t admissible in court, which was the good news. We didn’t have to use it, but the defense would likely use the results of the eval to push their agenda that Matloff wasn’t involved in the first place.

“It’s been a long day,” Hotch finally spoke up after looking at the time. It was already past four. “We should call it so that we’re well rested for court tomorrow.”

Cece chuckled. She knew that she wasn’t getting sleep, and I knew that Hotch, Morgan, and Reid weren’t going to sleep, either. Even if he sent everyone home, it wouldn’t matter. This was going to eat at them until Matloff was behind bars for good. To my surprise, though, Cece “agreed” to Hotch’s idea. She grabbed her purse from the table behind her, wished us a goodnight, then left. Hotch and I turned back to face the interrogation room where they were getting ready to move Matloff out and take him back to jail.

“You okay?” I asked him, lifting my hand to run my fingers through his hair on the side of his head.

“I will be. At home.”

I nodded agreeingly before reaching back down to take his hand. “Let’s go home, then.”

When we left the mirror room, we stopped holding hands. We made our way back into the BAU so that Hotch could dismiss everyone officially, though they would all probably stay, anyhow. I grabbed my purse from under my desk, and Hotch grabbed his briefcase from his office up the ramp. Everyone wished us a good night as we hurried out.

Nothing was said between us on the way home. The radio was running and Hotch had his hand on my thigh, but we didn’t say anything. I could sense that he just needed quiet for a bit so that he could think. I was willing to do that. Honestly, I needed to think, too. Everything we learned all day was starting to come together in my head. Between finding out that Matloff had amnesia, that someone had gone to visit him every day, then he passed the psych eval, it seemed like the world just kept smacking Hotch in the face.

Hotch pulled into the driveway quietly. As he turned off the ignition, he sighed and slumped back against his seat. I unbuckled myself and turned to look at him. He looked exhausted and defeated, and, honestly, I couldn’t blame him. The day started off well. We got to work, we were happy, things were good. And then he got that call. Brian Matloff woke up and our day went down the drain. We were so busy running around, trying to rebuild a four year old case, and it had entirely worn him out. I didn’t envy him. Tomorrow, it was possible that he would have to testify, or at least start preparing to do so. Not only was our day long, but the next few were going to be hell, too. And all of it rested on Hotch’s shoulders.

“I’ll call in a pizza,” I offered quietly, trying not to disturb the peace he found in the car. He nodded. “Cinnamon knots, too?” He smiled and nodded. “Okay. Come on, Sleeping Beauty.”

We got out of the car slowly and lazily. While we made our way inside the house, I dug out my phone to place the pizza order. Hotch unlocked the door and turned off the alarm. We both fell onto the couch as I dialed the pizza place and waited for them to pick up. Before I could do anything, Hotch trapped me in his arms and pulled me towards him so that I was laying on my side, my back pressed against his chest as we cuddled. I kissed his forearms that were holding my chest to make sure I couldn’t escape. Then the line picked up and I started ordering. Hotch nuzzled his nose into the back of my neck, his breath hot against my skin, making me shiver and smile. I was trying to focus on getting the order right, but all I could think about was how much I loved him and how he never failed to make me swoon with even the smallest gestures like this. He was too precious, too pure to let the world ruin him like it was. This Matloff nonsense was ridiculous. He didn’t deserve it. I was just glad that I could be there to comfort him, and that I had the strength and energy to order a damn pizza when he clearly didn’t.

When I hung up after getting the order in, I put my phone on the coffee table in front of me, then turned over to face Hotch. His eyes were shut peacefully, and he was breathing calmly. He looked so untroubled for once. It didn’t look like the world had just dragged him through the mud all day. And when I brushed a hand through his long hair, he smiled. I kissed his nose gently then closed my eyes as we both hugged each other close. I loved him. So fucking much. The little moments like this always reminded me why all the shit in our lives was still worth it, that there was always a reason to keep fighting. If we didn’t have the shit moments and days, then we wouldn’t have these little moments like this, and what was the point then?

I kissed his cheek before my whole body went limp. I loved him. More than anything. The world didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve him.

“You okay?” he asked me softly. Both of our eyes were still shut, but I knew that he could still somehow see that my mind was racing. “I’m sorry I let things get out of hand at Matloff’s eval today.”

I shook my head slightly. “I haven’t even thought about it.”

“Then, what?”

“Sh…” I begged, squeezing him slightly. I just wanted to enjoy the silence a little longer. We could talk while eating. “I love you.”

Hotch kissed me tenderly. It was one of those light kisses that reminded me that he was there and that he loved me, but it wasn’t passionate or hard enough to rile us up. We just wanted to be lazy for a bit. That didn’t make us bad people. I think we had a tendency to forget that not everything was about work and sex. I mean, we obviously loved both. But taking a moment to just relax and be us amidst all the craziness in the world didn’t make us horrible people. In fact, it made us human.

Then the damn doorbell rang. I sighed as I tried to sit up to answer it, but Hotch was being stubborn. He was holding onto me for dear life despite acting like he was asleep. I pecked his cheek a thousand times, earning a wide smile and giggle from him. While he was distracted, I pried his arms off me and hurried over to the door. I grabbed my wallet from my purse next to the door, then paid for the pizza. By the time I turned back towards the living room with the food in hand and the door closed behind me, Hotch was actually sitting up on the couch.

When I tried to just set the box on the table so that I could go get plates and napkins, Hotch wrapped his arms around my waist again, and he pulled me onto his lap. To get back at me for my ticking kisses earlier, Hotch started attacking my neck with his lips. I bit back a laugh. I was trying to protest by standing up, but Hotch held me steady on him, so I finally gave up and turned my face to kiss him. He was caught off guard when I did it. I took the chance to carefully push him back against the couch while we kissed passionately and held each other. I swear, it was worth the sore and chapped lips. Always.

Hotch finally, after we were both breathless, let me pull away. I shifted around on his lap innocently, avoiding any contact that could be viewed as otherwise. I leaned forward and moved the small box of cinnamon knots so that we could get to the pizza underneath. Hotch still wasn’t letting me go to get plates or napkins. Asshole. So that meant things were going to get gross very fast unless he finally gave in. When I offered Hotch a slice, I think that was when he suddenly realized his mistake, because he immediately let me go, and even gently slapped the outside of my thigh to push me towards the kitchen. I glared at him over my shoulder. He smirked and winged his arms over the couch. He was absolutely impossible sometimes. Not jumping his bones every chance I could get felt like a challenge all the time, and he fucking new it.

Finally, when we had plates and napkins, and Hotch pulled me back onto his lap, we started eating. I was sitting on his thighs, my right shoulder facing him and my left shoulder facing the pizza on the table. As we ate, I was watching him out the corner of my eye. He still looked exhausted, but the food was giving him enough energy to keep sitting upright and not suddenly topple over.

“What do you remember about the case?” I asked him. That was what had been on my mind earlier, but I didn’t want to talk about it while we were relaxing. I also knew that I’d drop the topic the second we were done eating. “I mean, besides the facts. How did you feel? What stuck out to you the most? Would it really be so bad if Matloff doesn’t remember and he’s released? Just… what are you thinking?”

Hotch sighed quietly as he chewed on the bite he just took. “You really want to do this right now?”

I nodded. He was going to have to testify eventually, and it was probably better if he sorted all of his thoughts and feelings out beforehand. On the stand, he would have to be cool and collected. He couldn’t show any emotion because our jobs required us to push emotion aside for the sake of getting the truth. He needed to maintain that facade in court. However, if he didn’t discuss it all beforehand, I knew him well enough to know that he could get wound up if there was something on his mind. He could talk to me. Always. No matter what he was feeling or thinking about this, he could tell me.

“It was the first case I ever worked on with Reid. He was new, and he was still trying to prove himself—”

“Reid? Proving himself? Doesn’t sound like him,” I said sarcastically with a smirk.

Hotch pinched my thigh lightly to get me to be quiet. “Morgan and I weren’t close yet, but we respected each other. Our team just wasn’t what it is now. We weren’t…” He hesitated. I wanted him to say it. He could admit it. It wouldn’t kill him to say that we were a family. “We were just different,” he said, opting out of the truth. I tried to hide my slight disappointment. “I remember that the three of us felt bad for the victims, and we were desperate to find answers for them. I even… Honestly, I even felt bad for Matloff when he fell off that building, but that doesn’t excuse what he did. He did kill those girls, I know it, and there are definitely more bodies out there that we couldn’t find. Matloff’s playing a game, I can tell. I think that he’s smart, calculating, and vain. I feel like we shouldn’t let him get away with this, no matter what the eval said.”

“Do you think he’ll kill again if he’s found innocent?”

Hotch nodded and took another bite of his pizza.

As we pulled up to the courthouse, Hotch and I took notice of the media crowd that had gathered on the steps outside. Every major news channel had a van there with a reporter and a camera following everyone who was just trying to get inside. Poor Cece, Hotch’s lawyer friend, was caught in the middle of it while still trying to push through. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to that same adventure just to get into the courthouse for a few hours’ worth of the trial. It was only the first day of Matloff’s trial, which meant that it would be about an hour or so of excusing juror members, then both the prosecution and defense teams would get up in front of the jury to make their opening statements. If we happened to get to witnesses, it would be an absolute miracle. Considering the media frenzy surrounding this case, it was going to take forever just to find suitable juror members, and then to get through the opening statements? What a mess.

Hotch started getting out of the car, but I stopped him by grabbing his hand. I was still staring at all of the reporters on the opposite side of the parking lot, which must have tipped off Hotch about why I stopped him, because he settled back in his seat and kissed my knuckles. My breath sputtered as I tried to calm down against his touch, but I was still nervous about it. The media wasn’t exactly my thing. In our line of work, I liked staying back to do the behind the scenes work. That one time in St. Louis, during the Mill Creek Killer case, that was different, because Gideon and JJ practically forced me to be up there during the media meeting just to lure in the Hollow Man. But this… They knew who Hotch was, and therefore they probably knew who I was. It didn’t take a genius like Reid to figure out that mine and Hotch’s careers were nearly destroyed because of our relationship. Reporters were vultures, and I was sure that they already knew that they were dating, and that was somehow going to be made relevant on the nine o’clock news. Assholes.

He kissed my knuckles again. “Just hold onto me and stay close, okay?” I nodded. “They’re going to try to ask you questions, and they’re going to try to get under your skin in order to get a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction, alright?” I nodded again. “Come on,” he invited lightly, tugging at my hand.

We separated for a moment so that we could get out of the car. I raced around to the front where he was waiting for me, holding out his hand, and smiling at me. I took his hand and hugged my side close to his. Before we started towards the stairs, Hotch locked the car. When we were all sorted, Hotch started leading me forwards, though I was reluctant. It was so weird that I wasn’t afraid of sitting in the room with psychopaths like Matloff, yet I couldn’t face a crowd of reporters. That said something about me, didn’t it?

The closer we got, the more reporters started to take notice of our approach. It started with just one, but once they told their camera man to turn around, everyone else took their lead. Hotch and I were immediately surrounded before we even made it onto the steps. He got ahead of me slightly, making sure that his hold on my hand was still there and that I was still pressed against his side. He put his arm out, trying to push through all the microphones and cameras so that I wouldn’t have to. I kept my head low, focusing my gaze on my feet and trying not to trip on Hotch as we shuffled up towards the courthouse. Reporters were screaming in my ear still, though. They were all shouting questions, and cameras were flashing in my eyes, and microphones were bumping into the back of my head. At one point, I thought I heard someone mention Jack. I tried to stop to see who said it, but Hotch kept pulling me along.

When we finally got inside, I sighed with relief, and tripped into Hotch’s shoulder. He caught me and asked, “You alright?”

I giggled and nodded. “Yeah. There’s a reason why JJ always deals with the media and I’m not jealous of her.”

Hotch chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“Thank god you’re here,” Cece cheered, approaching us in a hurry. “Are you ready? We’re starting in a few minutes.”

Hotch nodded, and I followed his lead into the courtroom. The audience seats in the back of the room were surprisingly full. Reid was already sitting down towards the front with two empty seats beside him. It almost looked like he saved them for us. I smiled lightly as we headed over to him and Hotch jokingly asked him if those seats were taken after we startled him somewhat. Reid fixed his hair and gestured for us to sit down.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, listening to the room talk in whispers, the jury was called in. Everyone fell silent as we watched them file into their seats. When they were done, we were asked to stand for the judge. Hotch slyly took my hand as we stood up. Afterwards, when the judge was seated, he told us to sit, and the prosecution and defense teams started taking their turns asking the jury questions to see who should be excused. By some miracle, time flew by, and not a single member was dismissed. So the opening statements began. Cece stood to go first.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you’re here today to bring justice to the families of the three beautiful, young women who lost their lives four years ago to a cold blooded, calculating killer. Darci Corbet, Celeste Ferami, April Sotherford. Three women out for a run on the Blue Ridge Parkway trail when they were approached by a park ranger. An employee who abused his authority to lure these women into a secluded area where he could safely perform the act of murder. He strangled them slowly, inflicting maximum suffering and terror, ensuring that he would gain the most pleasure from the kill. He buried them in shallow graves, leaving them turned upside down in the most demeaning position. And then he thought he got away with it. But he didn’t. We caught him. Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is your civil duty to finally bring justice for his three victims. It’s your duty to put this man away once and for all so that he can not hurt anyone else. Thank you for being here, for helping to put an end to this monster’s insanity.”

Cece turned away from the jury to return to her seat. When she sat down, I felt Hotch give my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Counselor, would the defense like to make its opening statement now or wait ‘til the prosecution rests?” the judge asked.

The defense lawyer stood. “We would like to give our opening statement now, Your Honor.”

“You may begin.”

The lawyer stepped around the table to approach the jury. “Was the murder of the three women found dead in Blue Ridge Parkway a result of the act of murder? Perhaps. Ladies and gentlemen, over the next few days or so, you’re going to be told that my client was responsible for these horrendous deaths, but this is nothing but a theory. There is no eyewitness, no fingerprints, no DNA, no physical evidence tying my client to any of these crimes. None. Not even a murder weapon. Not one shred of hard evidence.”

I squeezed Hotch’s hand. This was what we feared most. We tried and tried to get something, to find new evidence, but there was nothing. Of course the defense was going to base their argument around that. It was the obvious out. But Cece was still going to fight like hell, and Hotch wasn’t going to let Matloff get away with it. We still had time to find something. JJ was still looking for Nina Moore, which meant that we could possibly have a new lead soon.

“The only way that they can tie my client to these crimes is through the pseudo-science called profiling. That’s not evidence, ladies and gentlemen. That’s grasping at straws to put an innocent man away in prison. All I ask of you, the jury, is to keep an open mind over the next few days. Recognize that there are people rushing to close this case, and they will pin it on my innocent client if they must. That is all.”

“Thank you, Counselor,” the judge said. “Prosecution, you may call your first witness.”

“The prosecution would like to call Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner to the stand,” Cece said to the court.

I looked over at Hotch. I didn’t think we’d get to witnesses yet— and I especially didn’t anticipate that Hotch was already going to testify. I thought we had a little more time. He told me that he was prepared for it, but I was still caught off guard by it. It was as though he expected it, however, because Hotch untangled our fingers, and he stood to walk up to the stand.

After being sworn in, Hotch took a seat, adjusted his suit, cleared his throat, and looked up at Cece to signal that she could begin questioning him. Cece stepped around the table she had been sitting at and neared the center of the court.

“Agent Hotchner, could you please state your full name and title for the court?” Cece began her questioning, going easy so that Hotch could get comfortable up there first.

“Aaron Hotchner. I’m a Supervisory Special Agent for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI in Quantico.”

“And what does the Behavioral Analysis Unit do, Agent?”

“We took at the psychological aspect of suspects in order to catch them. We look at behavior, victimology, the suspect’s Modus Operandi, and linkage analysis.”

“What is linkage analysis?”

“It’s the process in which my team and I attempt to link all of the behaviors between crime scenes in order to prove that one person is responsible, and from there we can determine who is responsible.”

“So, through the process of linkage analysis, you and your team concluded that all three of these murders had been committed by one man.”

Hotch nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”

“And that man was the defendant, Brian Matloff?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell us how you came to that conclusion, Agent Hotchner?”

Hotch looked over at me for a brief moment before answering Cece’s question. “Four years ago, along with Agents Reid and Morgan, we began to analyze the behavior of the unknown subject, which we refer to as the Unsub. We took into account the behaviors that led up to the murders, during the murders, and following at the murders. Through that analysis, we were able to create a profile that allowed us to generate a suspect pool, which we could eventually use to narrow down to one Unsub. By assessing what we knew about the victims, the crime scenes, and the behaviors, we were able to conclude that the Unsub was in a position of power, like being a park ranger at Blue Ridge Parkway. Because of how the bodies were buried, we could tell that he was not only a ranger, but he was going back to the scene to relive the experience to gain gratification of either the sexual or sadistic nature. Once we had concluded that he was a park ranger, all of the evidence began to make sense, which then led us straight to Brian Matloff.”

“Well, how did you come to the direct conclusion that it was the defendant? I imagine that there are thousands of people who work for the park service. How were you able to narrow your suspect pool, as you put it?”

“Our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, helped us narrow down the search. We knew that his knowledge of the forest was extensive, which meant that he wasn’t recently employed. We also knew that he knew the area and path around the waterfall well enough to know where to hide the bodies so that they wouldn’t be found, which meant that he was mostly stationed in that area. The last thing we checked for was which of the park rangers was injecting themselves into our investigation. Most of the rangers wanted the whole thing to go away, so they went on as normal, but Brian Matloff was constantly hovering and prying for answers that we couldn’t give him.”

“Couldn’t he have just been a concerned worker and citizen?”

“At first, we were also skeptical, but once we delivered our profile to his co-workers, they reassured us that he fit the same behaviors that we were looking for.”

“So, after deciding on the defendant as a lead suspect, what did you and your team do?”

“We decided to go speak with him at his mother’s home, but she told us that he had left earlier with ‘a lady friend’. We tracked him down to a secret apartment he had. We took a SWAT team with us because we were under the impression that he had a hostage or another victim. When we tried to get him to open the door, that was when we realized that he had started climbing through the fire escape. When Agent Morgan pursued him, that was when Matloff jumped.”

“And the woman that was thought to be with him?”

“We never found her… But we believe that he killed her and disposed of her remains somewhere.”

Cece nodded at Hotch before looking to the judge, “No further questions, Your Honor.” Cece walked back to her seat at the prosecution’s table.

“Would the defense like to cross examine the witness?” the judge asked.

The defense attorney stood. “Yes, Your Honor.”

“You may begin.”

“Agent Hotchner, in your report of the night that my client attempted to run away from the police, you called that ‘a strong indicator of his guilt’. Were you aware that he had an outstanding warrant at the time of his arrest?”

“Yes,” Hotch answered.

“So, isn’t it possible that Mr. Matloff fled, not because he was guilty of murder, but because he was guilty of the outstanding warrant?”

“There were eight law enforcement officers in bullet proof vests standing outside his door. I doubt that any reasonable person would—”

“A simple yes or no answer will suffice.”

Hotch bit his bottom lip briefly. He was getting a little worked up, but he was holding it back. “Yes, it’s possible.”

“Right. And you say that it was your team’s profile that led you to my client’s door in the middle of the night—”

“A behavioral analysis profile was a factor in our investigation, yes, but there were more factors involved.”

“Such as?”

Hotch fell short. We still didn’t have any physical evidence, and there weren’t any witnesses tying Matloff to the scene. While there was always more that went into a case than just a dumbed down profile that people would see in a report, it was hard to explain to people outside of the job. Most people didn’t understand what it took to work for the BAU. Being smart and fit was part of it, of course, but being able to put together clues that weren’t really there was sometimes part of it, too. It sounded like what happened with Matloff was a case of putting things together that weren’t tangible, while not thinking the future, like this, through ahead of time. It explained why Hotch was more careful nowadays.

The defense lawyer moved on, realizing that he wasn’t going to get an answer out of Hotch, which only helped prove his case. “These behavioral analysis profiles are what your unit in the FBI does, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You use this formula for every case you work on?”

“Yes.”

“You used this same formula for cases like the Olympic Park Bombings in Atlanta?”

“Yes.”

“And was that suspect that you identified, Richard Jewell, ever convicted of those bombings?”

“Objection,” Cece called from her seat. “Relevance?”

“Goes to the credibility of the witness and his field.”

“I’ll allow it,” the judge nodded.

Hotch’s lip pursed. That hit a nerve, I could tell. “No, he was not convicted.”

“Why was that?” the lawyer asked.

“Because the real suspect, Eric Rudolph, attempted another bombing while Jewell was in custody.”

“So you profiled the wrong man.”

“No. Our profile was dead on; we just had the wrong man.”

The lawyer scoffed. “And how about the Baton Rouge Killer? Your unit said that he was white and living in the city. He was black and from the suburbs. You said that the B.T.K Killer, Dennis Rader, was divorced and impotent. He was married with children. So, Agent Hotchner, was it possible that you profiled the wrong man this time, too?”

Hotch didn’t waver. He answered with his stone-cold glare and said, “No.”

“The truth is,” the lawyer turned to the jury, “behavioral analysis is just intellectual guesswork. You probably couldn’t tell me the color of my socks with any greater accuracy than a carnival psychic.”

I swear, if I weren’t in a court, I would have leapt out at that man and strangled him then and there myself. I knew that it was his job to practically tear down Hotch’s reputation in order to prove his case, but… my blood was boiling. He didn’t have what it took to be a part of the BAU. Hell, he didn’t have what it took to even be a part of the FBI. For him to look Hotch in the eye while saying all of that made me angry. Hotch was great at his job. He was the best of the best. He had been working tirelessly for decades to get where he was in his career. It wasn’t fucking guesswork. We trained and worked to learn how to profile. In a way, it was an art. Not just anyone could wander in one day and say: “I want to be a profiler.” It took more than that. It took training, education, and time. That was why it took me so damn long to get into the BAU in the first place.

The lawyer turned away from Hotch so that he could smirk to himself at his little victory. I caught him, though, as he looked up and made eye contact with me. My face was just as stone-cold as Hotch’s, but my eyes were telling a different story. Honestly, I looked like I wanted to kill him. I hardly knew him, yet I wanted to dance circles around his grave. I knew that Hotch was the protective one in our relationship, but there was something about the way that lawyer talked to him that made me want to—

“Charcoal gray,” Hotch spoke up plainly.

The lawyer’s smirk disappeared as he spun back around. “What?”

“Your socks.”

He chortled. “Well, you got one right.”

Hotch glanced over to me again, and I shifted in my seat when I felt myself grow hot. There was a look in his eyes that countered mine. While I was seeing red, he was still calm, collected, and sophisticated. He was even trying to hide a smirk. That was how he always looked when he knew that he was going to get the best of me. That look… it made my knees weak, and he knew it. That was why he glanced over in the first place.

“You match them to the color of your suit,” he said as he slowly looked back over at the lawyer, “to appear taller. You also wear lifts and you’ve had your soles replaced multiple times. One might think you’re frugal, but in reality, you’re broke. The Rolex on your wrist is a fake because you’ve already pawned the real one to pay off your debts, and you don’t want anyone to know, especially your family, because then they’d find out about your gambling addiction. I can tell you exactly what kind of gambling, too.” He shot me a quick glance. I hid my flushed face as I looked down at the ground. “Your vice is horses. Your Blackberry’s been buzzing on the table every twenty minutes, which happens to be the average time between posts from colonial downs. You’re getting race results…” I bit my lip and sank in my chair. “And every time you do, it affects your mood in court, and you’re not having a very good day. That’s because you pick horses the same way you practice law— by always taking the long shot.”

I gulped and tried to stop moving my thighs that were rubbing together for friction under my dress. I knew I made a mistake putting on Hotch’s favorite dress. I hadn’t worn it since the flight to St. Louis because it only got me in trouble the last time, but I thought that since it was a special occasion and we weren’t going into work, it would be nice. But now I could feel exactly how wet I was getting against the wooden seat beneath me, and I was cursing myself for rolling the skirt up to appear shorter, just like I always did. I was such an idiot.

“If I’m not mistaken, the results from the fifth race should be coming through any minute.”

And like clockwork, the lawyer’s phone started to buzz on the table. I looked up through my lashes to see that Hotch was grinning slightly at me. He knew what he did, that asshole. Not only had he gotten to the lawyer, but he had gotten to me, too. Fuck.

“Why don’t you tell us if your luck has changed,” Hotch concluded.

The lawyer tensed. His posture changed, his hands buried themselves into his pocket, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. Well, if only my whole job weren’t a sham, I could have told him that his behavior meant that Hotch was right, and he was embarrassed at the profile that had been given in front of the entire court. Oh, wait. I had enough training and knowledge to make even the simplest of deductions about that man. He wasn’t unique, he wasn’t hard to read, he wasn’t special. Honestly, Hotch shouldn’t have wasted his breath profiling him in the first place, but I was glad he did, anyhow.

“No further questions, Your Honor,” the lawyer croaked, picking up his phone and stuffing it in his pocket.

“Very well. The court will be adjourned until 9AM tomorrow.” The judge banged the gavel down, and everyone moved to disperse.

Hotch came down off the stand, brushing past the lawyer without another glance or word. I stood from my seat carefully, testing to see if my knees could support me. It would have been embarrassing if I just toppled over then and there. Hotch reached out for my hand when he was close enough, and he started pulling me into the hallway outside the courtroom. I chased after him, having to skip a few steps just to keep up. When we made it out of the room, he stopped, pulled me into a sudden hug, picked me up off my feet, and spun me around. I giggled into his shoulder before he set me down carefully.

I looked at him when we parted. “Home. Now.”

“We have to go back to the office—”

“We’ll call them.” I pulled at his red tie around his neck slightly, making it look like an innocent and simple adjustment. “Please, Sir,” I whispered.

Hotch licked his lips as he looked around the hallway to make sure that no one heard. “We call them first.” I nodded. “You’ll behave until we get home.” I nodded. “Okay.” He grabbed my hand again and started pulling me out of the courthouse again.

The media was still there, and they were still pressing for questions, but Hotch and I ignored them as we made our way through. While it felt like an eternity to get into the courthouse originally, it felt like we practically teleported out. We rushed to the car. Hotch already had his phone out, and he was calling Morgan for an update. He put the phone on speaker as it dialed. I anxiously pulled at my seatbelt as Hotch started pulling out of the spot we were parked in.

Morgan picked up. “Out of court already?”

“Just finished the cross examination,” Hotch replied.

“How’d it go?”

“It went fine. What’s the update at the office?”

“We’ll just tell you when you get here,” Morgan insisted from a distance, like he was occupied with something else.

“We’re not coming in.”

Morgan scoffed, “Hotch, it’s only noon.”

“Yeah, I know, but Y/N isn’t feeling well, so we’re just going to head home.”

I glared at him, but he smirked at me.

“Okay,” Morgan sighed. “JJ and Rossi found Matloff’s birth mother. They’re there now, trying to talk to her about him and see if she’ll come forward as any kind of witness. Not much else has happened around her, unfortunately. We’re searching high and low, but it’s just like four years ago, we can’t find anything useful. Hopefully, his mom will have something that will pin him to the crimes.”

Hotch took a sharp right turn, making me grab onto the ceiling handle. He apologized quietly to me before continuing with Morgan, “Alright, well, just keep us updated. Send me a text when JJ and Rossi are done at the mother’s.”

“You got it. Tell Y/N to feel better.”

I hit a smirk by looking out the window. Hotch took a moment to clear his throat, also trying to mask the irony of Morgan’s comment that was making us snicker. “I will,” Hotch said calmly. “We’ll talk later.” And then he hung up the phone and threw it in the cup holder. “I told you to behave,” he said to me.

“I didn’t do anything!” I shouted defensively with a smile. “You can’t blame me this time.”

“I can and I am.” Hotch was trying to hide a playful smile. The longer I looked at him, though, the more he started to crack. “I love you, Y/N,” he admitted before he could let his smile shine through.

I grabbed his hand from the steering wheel and kissed his knuckles gingerly. “I love you, too.”

We pulled up to the house and I started to get excited about what was to come. The second we were in the door, I pushed him against the wall. I kicked the door closed behind me using my foot, and I ignored the ringing alarm just for a few moments so that I could get a hold on his tie and pull him in for a lustful kiss. When my lips were on his, Hotch grabbed my face and leaned over me to kiss me harder. Suddenly, he was pushing me backwards into the wall behind me, and while still kissing me and fighting for dominance with his tongue, Hotch stuck out his right hand and blindly searched for the alarm. He turned it off, then moved his hand to cup my neck. I moaned as he pinned me roughly against the wall. He parted from my lips and started panting.

“Why—”

“What you did on the stand…” I tried to kiss him again, but he tightened his grip around my neck, keeping me pinned. “I don’t know… I just…” I licked my lips. “It was hot, baby.”

His eyes turned a dark, lustful black as he smirked. “Yeah?”

I nodded. “Yes, Sir. Please.” I wiggled, trying to create friction between my legs while simultaneously trying to touch him.

“Stay still,” he demanded. I could practically see him transition into Dom space, and in return, I immediately fell into sub space. I did as he asked, holding myself back from moving, and he released me. I watched impatiently, yet still obediently, as he reached for the tie around his neck and started pulling it off. “I wore my lucky tie for you today,” he told me. I had recognized that move when he got dressed in the morning, but I didn’t think that he’d say anything about it. He only wore it now and again when he needed good luck or there was a special occasion. It was the kind of day that needed luck and celebration, I supposed. “And I couldn’t stop thinking about doing this to you.” He grabbed my wrists and tied them together. I whimpered as he pulled it as tight as he could. “Quiet.” I nodded. “Good girl.” He raised my arms over my head, and he hung my tied wrists on one of the coat hooks on the wall. “Keep them there.” I nodded again, and he kissed me as a reward. “My good girl.” I bit back a moan. “Tug gently.” I did so, pulling my hands a bit to test the strength of the hooks in order to get a feel of how hard I could squirm without ripping the panel of hooks out of the wall. “Is that okay?” I nodded. “Good girl,” he complimented again while kissing my neck. I tugged again involuntarily, wanting to just reach out and touch his hair. “What was hot about me today, baby? You can talk.”

I let out a moan that had been building in my chest before I did anything else. Hotch smirked against my skin, then bit down gently to start leaving a hickey. “The way you talked to him— talked down on him. The way you silently profiled him, and then you—” I gasped when his hands cupped my breasts and started lightly massaging them. “Then you—” My knees buckled as he reached under my dress to unclasp my bra, then slid his hands under my bra so that he could pinch my nipples. “Sir—”

“Don’t stop.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes, you can. Keep going. What did you like about how I talked to him?”

I hesitated, trying to not think about the way he was pinching and rolling my nipples between his fingers. “You… You were so calm, so collected… Just like you are now…” I bucked my hips forward when he pulled at my nipples slightly. “I’ve never seen you profile like that… Like it was fun…”

He smirked and slid his hands out from under my dress. “Do you want to know what I think about you?’ I gulped as he let out a low, wicked chuckle that came from his throat, and he got incredibly close to my face, however, he didn’t touch me yet. “I know that you’re always a needy little whore for me. Always. I know that every time you look at me, your pupils dilate, and I can tell that you’re thinking about having me fuck you so hard you see stars. I know that you’d be on your knees right now, choking on my cock, if I asked you to. But I also know that you like to be a little brat all the time because you like getting me riled up so that I punish you. I know you whine, moan, and beg for mercy, but you secretly like it when I edge or deny you. I know that you’ll pull and tug at any restraints I put you in, but you’ll never actually put your full force into it because you like being a helpless slut.” He grabbed my neck. “I know that you like when I do this…” he whispered into my ear as he squeezed. I threw my head back, giving his hand more access and him a clearer view of what he was doing so that he would know not to go too far. “I know that you liked how I talked to that man today because I degraded him, and you like being degraded, too, don’t you?” I struggled against the restraints slightly in response. “Oh, yeah. I know I hit the mark. You want to know how I know? Because I’m good at what I do, and you’re obvious.” He released my neck, and I gasped for air. “I know that I haven’t even touched you, yet you’ve probably already soaked through your panties.” He grabbed my thighs roughly. He took a moment to make sure that I had caught my breath, then pushed my thighs open until my feet shuffled to shoulder width apart. When I was spread for him, he reached down to cup my heat with his palm to feel how I had soaked my panties, just as he had suspected. “Hmmm…” he moaned in my ear, “called it.” Within an instant, he yanked my panties down, helping me step out of them carefully, however. “Open,” he demanded once he had my panties crumpled in his palm. I opened my mouth and he suddenly shoved my panties in. “Do you taste how wet I made you?”

I moaned a, “Yes, Sir,” behind my gag, and my knees buckled, the coat hook barely catching me.

“Stand up straight, slut.” He grabbed my neck again and pulled me up. “Stay like that.” His hand returned to below my dress, and without warning, he thrust two of his fingers into me. I screamed behind the gag. “You scream when you know you shouldn’t moan; did you know that? You do it whenever you’re ashamed to admit that you enjoy what I’m doing to you.” He curled his fingers inside me, and I bit down on the gag to make sure I wouldn’t scream again. He chuckled, “And you get quiet when you don’t want to be punished.” He squinted. “What would I have to punish you for? Hmmm? Being a needy whore?” He hit my g-spot on purpose. “For jumping me the second we get into the house? For wearing this dress today and thinking that I wouldn’t notice? Let me tell you something. I gave that profile because all I could think about was getting home and torturing you all afternoon, so I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.” His thumb found my clit and started playing with it at an unrelenting pace. “And now that we’re here—” I screamed again when I felt my orgasm approaching, and it was getting extremely hard to stay up on my feet. I wanted to collapse again, but Hotch was glaring at me with a dare to try it. “Cum now and I’ll leave you like this all night.” My eyes pouted. “You better hold it.”

“Sir—”

“No.”

I whined, trying to hold still to prevent added stimulation. My walls clenched around his fingers, my stomach tightened, and I held onto his tie around my wrists to pray that I wouldn’t tip over the edge. Hotch had other plans, though. He worked harder to make me cum His fingers kept curling against my g-spot, his bicep bulging in his shirt to show all the effort he was going to in order to keep pumping his fingers in and out of me at an ungodly pace.

“Hold it for twenty seconds while I count, and I’ll let you cum.”

I nodded, screwing my eyes shut so that I could concentrate. “Yes, Sir.”

Hotch started counting backwards from twenty. He went slow and steady, watching me intently as I tried so hard not to fall apart. Trying not to cum around him while also putting energy into staying on my feet was nearly impossible, even when he got to ten. And he slowed down his counting even further. The asshole was taking about two to three seconds between every count, and I was so close to the fucking edge. I could practically feel myself already tipping over by five, but I kept trying to hold on for as long as I could.

“Three…” His thumb on my clit changed direction and pace, making me scream out again. “Two…” He hit my g-spot again. “One…” I just had to wait for the order. Any second now. I was about to tip over. “Cum.”

I came for him as he said it. My knees buckled again, and I kept screaming behind the gag, cursing his name over and over again. My walls tightened even further somehow, my legs shook, my arms pulled against the coat rack holding me back, and I felt my breath leave my lungs. Hotch pulled my panties out of my mouth. Before I could say anything, his lips were back on mine. He swallowed each of my moans as he continued to fuck me through my high. When I was done, though, and my body gave out, Hotch slowed his fingers.

“Good girl,” he whispered, somehow just as breathless as I was. I let my head fall forward onto his shoulder while he slid his fingers out of me. “Suck,” he demanded, shrugging his shoulder to lift my head. Exhausted, I looked up at him and let him shove his wet fingers into my mouth. “My good cum slut.” I moaned around his fingers. “You okay?” I nodded. He pulled his hand away. “Can you stand?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Once you let me down, I think I’ll fall.”

He snickered, “I’ll catch you.” He wrapped one of his arms around me while he reached up to pull my arms off the coat hook. As my tied wrists fell in front of me, Hotch caught me, just like he promised. “Did I get my profile right?” he laughed.

I hit his shoulder with my clasped fists. “That’s the only time I’ll ever let you profile me.”

“They say while shaking against me after screaming my name.”

I hit him again. “I could profile you, too, you know.”

“Mhm, you’ll have to do that after this,” he said before throwing me over his shoulder easily. I tried to protest, but my hands were still tied, and he spanked my ass when I tried to kick at him. I felt Hotch’s phone buzz against my hip, though, as we made our way upstairs. Hotch waited until I was sitting on the bed to check what was going on. “JJ and Rossi said that Matloff sent her the victims’ jewelry.”

My eyes widened. “Will she testify?”

Hotch nodded. “Yeah.”

“Come here,” I coaxed him towards me. Hotch threw his phone on the bed and leaned over me. I draped my tied wrists over his head, trapping them around his neck so that he couldn’t escape me. “I love you.”

Hotch leaned in for a kiss. “I love you, too.” And then he pushed me back onto the mattress.

In court the following morning, Hotch met up with Cece early to review the new evidence the team found. They also discussed the questions they were going to throw at Matloff’s mother. It sounded like we really had a good, winning case. That was a relief, at least. After yesterday's fiasco, we were on a winning high, but we needed to maintain that momentum. Bringing this new evidence forward was going to throw the defense for a loop, which meant that they would need time to examine the evidence themselves and prepare questions for Nina. Ultimately, that just meant that we would spend about thirty minutes setting up the court, another thirty reviewing the trial thus far, then the prosecution would get to start questioning Matloff’s mother. That was it. Short and sweet. Impactful. This was going to bury Matloff.

Hotch kissed me in the hallway outside the courtroom before he went in with Cece. Since he was part of the prosecution team (somehow), he got to sit up front with Cece this time, unlike yesterday, when he sat back in the crowd with me. I sat in the first row, just behind him. Just as anticipated, the first hour came and went without anything of interest, but then Cece was called to invite her next witness to testify.

“The prosecution would like to call Mrs. Nina Moore to the stand,” Cece said after standing from her seat at the table.

Everyone turned to watch as a woman sitting in the back of the courtroom stood. She was a tiny woman in every way, but she fit the description of Matloff's ideal targets. Slim, tiny, brunette, brown eyes women. It suddenly made sense why he hunted victims with that appearance because they were surrogates for his mother. His obsession with Native American culture stemmed from her, and when she turned him away (the stressor), he took it out on women who mirrored her image. If only they had that for the profile four years ago, or even a few days prior to her taking the stand. Would’ve been a huge help.

After being sworn in, Nina took a seat so that Cece could begin questioning her. Cece immediately dove in with, “Can you please state your name for the court?”

“Nina Moore.”

“And what is your relationship to the defendant?”

“I’m his birth mother,” Nina admitted. “I gave him up for adoption when he was a baby.”

“And that was how long ago?”

“Thirty-seven years.”

“So, you didn’t have a relationship with him?”

“No. I never saw him until 2003.”

“How did that happen?”

“He found me,” Nina whispered, looking down at her hands. “He wanted to learn about his heritage, my family. We met at a café, talked for a bit, then he left.”

“You talked about your family?”

“Yes.”

“What specifically?”

“He said he wanted to come home, to be a part of my family. But I told him that I couldn’t do that.”

“You felt that he was being irrational.”

“No, not at all. I just thought that he was a little lost. He wanted to belong to something.” Her voice started to crack as she suppressed the cry bubbling in her chest. “Turning him away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do!”

“Mrs. Moore, did the defendant ever try to contact you after that?” Cece asked, trying to get back on topic.

“Yes. He sent me something in the mail.”

“What was it?”

“A necklace. Two months later, I got another one. Then two months after that, I got a watch. I thought he was trying to persuade me with gifts or something. I never imagined…” She fell short of admitting the truth to the court.

“Your Honor,” Cece began, making her way back to her table, “I’d like to enter into evidence People’s Exhibits ‘F’ through ‘H’.” She picked up the bags of evidence and brought them back over to Nina on the stand. “Are these the items that you received in the mail?”

“Yes.”

“And this watch that you see in this bag, do you also see it in this photo?” she asked while holding up both pieces of evidence.

Nina froze. “Yes, that’s it.”

“Let the record show,” Cece said, turning towards the jury, “that the watch worn in this photograph of the third murder victim, Darci Corbet, was the same watch that the witness received from the defendant in the mail.” Cece put the evidence down. “I have no further questions, Your Honor.”

“Thank you, Counselor. Court will resume tomorrow morning at 9AM for cross examination of the witness,” the judge said, banging his gavel.

As we were all dismissed, and I stood to greet Hotch, I was taken aback when he walked over to Matloff’s table to look at something after he had been taken back into custody. My eyes followed Hotch, confusion washing over me. What did he see over there that was of interest? I didn’t understand. So I tried whispering his name to catch his attention, but he didn’t look at me. Cece and I exchanged a glance, and we both shrugged. I hissed Hotch’s name again, this time getting him to look at me. He went back to his seat at the prosecution’s table, grabbed his things, reached over the median to grab my hand, and started dragging me out of the courtroom.

“Hotch,” I called his name again quietly as we entered the hallway, “what is it?”

“I think that Matloff is getting his memories back,” Hotch said eagerly.

Cece and I exchanged another confused glance. When I looked back at Hotch, I asked, “What makes you think so?”                   

“I looked at the notepad in front of him during the trial today, and there were tears on it.”

“So?” Cece questioned.

“You don’t have that kind of reaction unless you’re connected,” Hotch explained.

If what he was saying about the tears, then it was true. I mean, I had my suspicions concerning his behavior in court, but I was never sure, especially considering how his evaluation the other day went. I thought that he genuinely didn’t remember anything and didn’t have any more sadistic tendencies because of how he passed that test. But Hotch was right, something was off. It was possible that Matloff was getting his memories back. If that were the case, then we needed to speak with him or the guards protecting him immediately to see if there was any new information we could use.

“I’ll go talk to the guards to see if they’ve noticed anything weird about his behavior, or if he’s mentioned anything about getting his memory back,” I offered. Hotch nodded, agreeing that it was a good idea. I started making my way down the hallway where Matloff was taken so that he could get changed back into his prison clothes. I flashed my badge to the court official standing guard outside, and he let me through without hesitation. “Thanks,” I whispered, moving past him carefully. I turned the corner and came to a sudden halt when I bumped into someone. “Sorry,” I apologized. When I looked up, I realized that I had run into Matloff, who was holding a gun. I reached for my weapon in my holster, but he already had his pointed at my temple. “Okay,” I mumbled, surrendering my hands. “Okay.”

“Don’t scream or try anything,” he demanded gruffly, grabbing my gun from my hip.

“Okay,” I agreed again.

“Walk quietly and calmly with me outside.” He pushed me towards the emergency exit down the hallway. With my hands still raised, I led the way towards the door. “Do you have a car?”

“I drove here with my boyfriend.”

“That’ll work.”

I pushed the door open. An alarm started ringing, triggering Matloff to push me out faster. With the gun pressed to my back, we hurried through the parking lot, avoiding detection from the media since we were leaving through a backdoor, and they were focused on finding out what the alarm was at the front door. I led Matloff to Hotch’s car, and he made me get into the driver’s seat while he got into the passenger’s.

“Your cellphone,” Matloff gestured with the gun before pointing it in my face again. “Throw it out the window.” I silently cursed him for having enough brains to realize that Hotch would try to call or track me through it the second he noticed I was gone. “Now!” he yelled at me when I didn’t move. I nodded vigorously, grabbing my phone from my pocket. I rolled the window down and threw my phone out a ways to make sure the car wouldn’t crush it. “Start driving.”

“Where?” I asked calmly.

“Blue Ridge Parkway.”

I screwed my eyes shut. That wasn’t good news for me. Matloff clearly had his memories back— if he even lost them in the first place. He obviously had his urge for murder back, at least, which meant that taking me to Blue Ridge Parkway was going to be his end game. Kill the fed, and he won. Even if he got caught, killing a cop— especially a fed— was the most impressive and respectable thing anyone could do when it came to prison rep. Matloff would be a saint on the inside. Great.

No one noticed us pull out of the parking lot. No one stopped us on our way out there, either. I thought that Hotch would have had the whole city on lock down, every street blocked off, and Blue Ridge Parkway under surveillance. Yet, no one was out there. Matloff opened the glove compartment as we pulled up to the trail, and he grabbed the extra pair of handcuffs that Hotch and I kept in there. He told me to put them on, which was probably just to make sure that I wouldn’t try anything still. He most likely knew who I was considering all the time I spent in the courtroom with him, and how clingy I was with Hotch. If he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t try to stop him, restraining me was the best way to do that. He had thought this through.

“You have your memories back, don’t you?” I asked as we got out of the car. I figured I could at least know the truth before he’d inevitably shoot me. “Or did you have them this whole time?”

Matloff was calm as we started walking down the path together. He didn’t walk ahead of me or behind me, just at my side a few feet away. Both of the guns he now had weren’t pointed at me, either. The one he stole from me was tucked in the back of his waistband, the one he stole from the guard swinging at his side as we walked. He probably knew that I wouldn’t try to run considering it would be foolish to run away from a serial killer with a gun. However, what he failed to realize was that I wasn’t going to run because I noticed something else. Matloff had always been off to me. Always. Since meeting him, I knew that something was wrong. But, now, as we were walking down the path where he preyed on his other victims, it seemed like his focus wasn’t on me. He was intent on getting somewhere. Even if he was going to kill me, that was going to follow whatever he wanted to find or do. I wasn’t going to run because I was curious. I wanted to know what the hell was so important to escape jail, kidnap a fed, and return to his crime scenes for.

“My memories,” he started explaining quietly, “started coming back last night. They’re in bits and pieces, and they come in hot flashes… I see what I did— who I was, and I hate it.”

“Then why do this?”

Matloff looked over at me. “Because I have to know the truth.”

“About how you strangled those three women?”

Matloff didn’t respond to my question. All he said was, “I’m sorry for scaring you and doing all of this.” I cocked a brow. “I just couldn’t let you stop me.”

“Stop you from coming out here? Why? Where are we going, Matloff?”

“Linville Falls,” Matloff said, looking up at the running waterfall we just approached. We came to a slow and steady halt as we both admired it for a moment. It was so beautiful and peaceful out there. I finally understood why he liked it so much, but it still didn’t answer why we were there. Before I could ask again, though, Matloff said, “You can go now, if you want. I won’t stop you. I promise.” He moved the gun he was holding in his hand to his waistband. I watched as he stepped off the path and started trudging through the mud and tall grass to get to something in the distance. “Go on,” he insisted, sensing that I was still watching him.

I didn’t move, though. I knew I should’ve made a run for it, or at least tried to disarm him, but I didn’t. He hadn’t told me why we were out there yet, and I didn’t know what he was looking for out in the field under the waterfall. But my interest was piqued when he got down on his knees and started digging through the dirt with his hands like a mad man.

I stepped into the tall grass, making my way over to him cautiously. He was still a threat, though he had proven that he had no interest in killing me. If I disturbed whatever he was doing, he still could’ve shot me or punched me or something. I knew that I had to be careful and maintain a safe distance.

And then we both froze when his hands hit something in the ground. I stumbled back a slight step when I saw a corpse emerging as he kept digging. Hotch suspected that there had been more victims, but he could never prove it… Yet there we were. Matloff was digging up a dead body and I was just watching like an idiot.

“Who… Who is that?” I asked.

Matloff sniffled as he pulled it out of the grave. “The first woman I ever killed.” He looked up at me with red eyes. He was crying. “I told you I had to know the truth… I wasn’t sure if I really killed those women until we got here, and it suddenly all came back to me.” He sat down on his tailbone and cradled the corpse. “This isn’t who I am anymore… I just had to make sure that you wouldn’t tell anyone before I could come out here to make sure it was real. I wasn’t convinced until just then when my fingers hit her skull.” He let out a sob. “I’m so sorry.”

“Matloff,” I crouched down, “are there other bodies out here?”

He shook his head. “It was just her.”

“Y/N!” Hotch called from the tree line.

I glanced over my shoulder to see him and Reid approaching with a SWAT team hot on their heels. “Wait!” I raised my cuffed hands in the air, waving them around to signal for them to stop. “It’s fine!” I yelled after noticing that they were all aiming their weapons at Matloff. “Don’t shoot!” Reid and Hotch slowed down, gesturing for the SWAT team to hold back. “He’s not a threat!”

With Hotch’s weapon still raised at Matloff, he carefully approached. “Brian Matloff, put your hands where I can see them.”

“Hotch—” I tried to protest, but Reid grabbed my shoulders and pulled me out of the way.

“Hands, Brian!”

“Stop there, please!” Matloff yelled back. “Just give me a minute… please…”

“I can’t do that, Brian.”

“Who is she?” Reid asked me quietly.

I glanced at him quickly before looking back at Matloff and Hotch. “She was his first.”

Hotch heard me, his shoulders falling slightly before he remembered to keep his steady stance. “Just put her down, Brian. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“I’m sorry,” Matloff cried quietly. “I’m so sorry…”

“Maybe you are, but you still have to pay for what’s been done.”

Matloff scoffed as he pulled one of the guns from his waistband. “I might as well just die right here… They’re going to put me on death row, anyhow. What’s the point?”

“You don’t know that,” I said, stepping forward again, despite Reid and Hotch’s protests. I stumbled through the grass, praying that I wouldn’t trip while my hands were still cuffed because I wouldn’t be able to save my fall. “The jury might not put you on death row. They might see your new slate— your innocence.” I carefully kneeled beside him, ignoring the corpse in his arms and the way he was waving the gun around aimlessly. “Matloff, look at me.” He did so. “You can still prove that you’re a good man. You could have killed me out here, but you didn’t. You’re clearly sorry for the things you did in the past. Show that in court. Prove your newfound innocence.”

“I’m— I’m scared,” he admitted to me in a hushed tone that only I could hear. I nodded understandingly, but my eyes were still pleading for him to do the right thing. This wasn’t the answer. This wasn’t the way out. “Okay…” he mumbled, dropping the gun.

Hotch carefully approached again, his aim still trained on Matloff. As Reid came over to grab the gun on the ground and the one in the back of Matloff’s waistband, Hotch grabbed his cuffs. “Put the body down, Brian,” Hotch ordered. Matloff did as he was told, gently resting the corpse on the grass before standing up so that Hotch could arrest him. “Do you have any more weapons on you?”

Matloff shook his head. “No.”

Hotch slapped his handcuffs on Matloff’s wrists, then passed him off to the SWAT team to be transported back to the jail in town. Reid came over to us as Hotch started getting my handcuffs off with the key from the car. He must’ve seen that Matloff stole them from the glovebox and made the smart decision to bring the key.

The second the handcuffs were off, Hotch threw his arms around me. His hug caught me off guard, making me stumble in his hold before I could hug him back. I didn’t expect that while we were still on the job, around our friends, on a crime scene, and in front of an Unsub that Hotch would pull me in for a desperate hug like that, I didn’t protest. I held him back, closing my eyes as I inhaled his scent. He smelled like his Aqua Velva aftershave, which was so different from the forest and waterfall scents nearby. Honestly, he smelled like home. I needed home after the day I had.

“You okay?” he asked me quietly before kissing the top of my head.

I nodded against his chest. “I’m fine.”

“I shouldn’t have let you go on your own.”

“We didn’t know.”

“Still.”

“It’s fine, Hotch. I’m fine. He wasn’t going to hurt me.”

Hotch squeezed my shoulders. “I love you.”

I nuzzled against him. “I love you, too.”

[camuslittlesister]

Summer of Smut Challenge -Day 6 (ooops)

The irony of posting this a week late is that this was the first one I wrote, it was meant to be one of two I wrote before I decided it sounded like a good idea to attempt all prompts then life (Ikki in Amnesia) got in the way and I only lasted 2 days 😂

Prompt Night-time Skinnydipping

Otome First Lady’s Diary

Ship Yuuya Touno x Foreign female OC (Reader if you want, as always. I’m here to please)

Warning Sex in public place, foreplay (OC receiving), oral sex (OC receiving), not particularly graphic

The moon was shining over the white sand as the young woman sat near the water, doodling in the wet sand, absentmindedly. She couldn’t help but think of vice-president Touno. It had only been three days since they first met, and even knowing his reputation at home was that of a flirt and womaniser, she could not help but find him intriguing. They didn’t talk much during the day, but she never missed how many glances he stole as they went about their duties. She knew his room, and she was bold enough to just go for it, so why was she sitting on the beach being broody instead? She knew the answer, but she didn’t want to go there. She knew people in politics well enough to know it was stupid to fall for a pretty face being personable. She was one of them, professionally nice to people. And, yet, the electric current she felt when they first met was something different. Even a cynic like her could almost concede maybe love at first sight was a thing after all. But even so, what could she hope for? He was the vice-president of a foreign country. An affair at every international summit or visit? The distance would make it hard to keep one going long-term, and she couldn’t really expect anything more than that...

“I didn’t know there would be mermaids around here” it was the very voice she longed to hear the most and, yet, she wished she was dreaming and he wouldn’t be there when she turned.

“Wouldn’t a mermaid be in the water, Yuuya?”

“That’s easily solved...”

“I’m not wearing a swimsuit...”

“Neither am I” he replied, his shirt half unbuttoned by the time she finally turned to look at him.

“Are you not worried about the paparazzi?” she asked.

“Not at all. I still have the body of an idol, don’t I?” he was by then standing in just his underwear, showing off a slender body that was much more toned and muscular than she expected. She stood up and took off her dress: “You’re beautiful”, he told her, crossing the distance to caress the lace of her balconette bra “but you wouldn’t want to ruin such pretty lingerie in the sea, would you?” before she could even reply, he had reached behind her back and unhooked it. “Wow” he whispered, so barely audible she wasn’t sure she heard him right. She piled her clothes neatly away from the shore and realised he had taken off his briefs and was looking at her from the water when she heard the splash of the waves against his body. Almost in a daze she took off her knickers too, walking towards him slowly, like she was trying to delay the inevitable. He splashed her, and she retaliated, playing around in the water for a while, screaming and laughing like two children playing. After a particularly forceful splash on her part, Yuuya grabbed her arm, dragging her into his arms. The water dripped on her from his hair as he looked into her eyes, her lips parted innocently and yet seductively, like she was expecting a kiss. The moment seemed to last forever as she felt his body against hers, throbbing with longing matching her own. Finally, he closed the distance, one of his hands cupping her cheek and the other reaching down her body. It was a forceful kiss, his tongue chasing hers like a hunter with a prey, but she kissed him back just as fiercely, her arms wrapped around his neck. Her eyes opened back up in surprise as his fingers caressed her upper thighs, and she had wrapped one of her legs around him before her conscious mind would register they were at the point of no return. He explored her hungrily, observing every small reaction he could witness in the dark of the moonlit night as he touched her in different ways until he was satisfied that she was ready to take him. She knew she was close to the climax as he removed his long fingers from inside her and picked her up. He laid her on the wet sand of the shore, trapping her under his body as the waves hit them with the same languid rhythm with which he thrust himself at first. The only sounds breaking the eery silence were the water and their breathing and moans, increasingly mismatched and yet it sounded to them like a symphony. She felt him going deeper, then faster, then deeper, and again harder until he cried out one final time. He kissed her and then trailed his lips all the way down her body, gently nibbling at her inner thighs, building up her expectations. He looked up to her with a teasing smile. “Yuuya...” she called out to him, a gentle tone in sharp contrast with the sultry quality of her voice. He didn’t need to be begged twice: still looking at her, he lowered himself on her again, her hands fast finding their way to his hair. He didn’t mind the sensation of her pulling it when pleasure hit her, and he minded even less the feeling of her trembling in his arms as he held her legs in place while pushing her to her limit with his tongue. He nested his head on her breast as she caught her breath, a contented expression on his face matching hers.

[dramapic]

MASTERLIST

I update this list everytime I watch and review a show. 

Disclaimer: These reviews are subjective and only reflect my opinions. There are no drama on that list that I’ve turned off and all are worthy of a watch. 

Recs welcome!

#1 Crash landing on you 

(사랑의 불시착)

Grade: A++

Genre: Modern, Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Son Ye-jin (who plays Yoon Se-ri) and Hyun Bin (Ri Jeong-hyeok) have amazing chemistry and every episode plays out like the chapters of an excellent fanfiction. Classic romantic tropes, humour, angst, action, CLOY has it all. Moreover, if you’ve never watched a Kdrama in your life, CLOY is a great starting point—not only will it introduce you to Korean culture but also to popular tropes and codes of the genre.

#2 Rookie historian Goo Hae-ryung 

(신입사관 구해령)

Grade: A++

Genre: Historical, Age gap

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Delightful from end to end, with lots of humour and an engaging story. The romance between Goo Hae-ryung and himbo-prince Dowon will make your heart go soft, especially if you’re into reverse gender dynamics (she’s older and kisses him first *le gasp*)

#3 Memories of the Alhambra 

(알함브라 궁전의 추억)

Grade: B+

Genre: Modern; Sci-fi; Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Intriguing premise, great cast and tons of special effects but the romance between Jin-woo (Hyun Bin) and Hee-joo (Park Shin-hye) won't go down in history. On top of that, the ending is a bit wishy-washy in that annoying “maybe there’s more to come” kind of way. Give us a clear cut ending, damnit!

#4 Good doctor 

(굿 닥터)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Modern, Medical drama

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Good heart but the writing is really clumsy at times and the hospital politics don’t make an awful lot of sense. On the bright side, Joo Won is great in the role of Park Si-on.

Note: I haven’t watched the American remake so can’t compare. 

#5 My love from the star/ You from the stars

(별에서 온 그대)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Sci-fi, fantasy, Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 21

Happy Ending: Yes-ish

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Jun Ji-hyun is absolutely stellar in the role of Cheon Seong-yi, a ditzy Hallyu* star whose career is going south while Kim Soo-hyun plays the emotionally closed-off alien to perfection. Lots of pinning, a dose of angst mixed with a pinch of wacky humor. 

*Hallyu means “Korean wave” in Chinese and refers to the popularity and spreading of Korean pop-culture outside of Korea. 

#6 Hwarang The Poet Warrior Youth 

(화랑)

Grade: B

Genre: Historical, Coming of age, fake siblings who catch feels

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Cute boys and interesting lore rooted in true facts (the bone rank system and the real Hwarang, the “Flowering Knights” of the Silla kingdom) but the story drags. I guess I expected more bromance and frolicking and less angst. Lastly, the main girl starts off quirky and fun but they quickly transform her into a sobbing mess which becomes real annoying real fast. 

#7 Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds (구르미 그린 달빛)

Grade: A 

Genre: Historical, Romance, Coming of age, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 18

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

A classic tale of a girl raised as a boy who ends up in a situation where she needs to do her best to not blow her cover while catching feels (As someone raised on Versailles no bara and Ribbon no Kishi, it remains one of my favourite tropes)

Sweet romance and good characters. The fact that Crown prince Lee Yeong doesn't turn emo when he starts developing feelings for Eunuch Ra-on before discovering she's a girl is the cherry on top of the cake. 

#8 Something in the rain

(밥 잘 사주는 예쁜 누나)

Grade: C 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes, but it still doesn't make you happy

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Wasted potential! 

Great start but the characterization falls apart quickly and you end up wondering why the main characters keep sabotaging their lives. By the end, despite their reunion, you're left with the impression they've learned nothing and that their relationship is doomed to fall apart. 

On top of it all, watching Jin-ah fight sexism in the workplace and gaining nothing is depressing af (I don’t need realism in my escapism, thank you very much).

Too bad because Son Ye-jin and Jung Hae-in look really good together and the acting is top-notch. My advice is to watch the first 8 episodes then make up your own ending in your head.

#9 Moon embracing the sun 

(해를 품은 달)

Grade: B+

Genre: Historical,Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 22

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

A traditional historical drama with all the tropes that go with the genre + a hint of esoterism.

If you love ill-fated relationships, tragic love triangle, evil queens, and amnesia, this is the show for you. Beware, the interrogation/torture scenes are rather brutal. 

#10 My sassy girl 

(엽기적인 그녀)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Historical, Rom-Com

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Cute and lighthearted but easily forgettable. Still worth a watch thanks to Joo Won & Oh Yeon-seo's chemistry. 

#11 Coffee Prince 

(커피프린스 1호점)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Solid story, great cast but be ready for a lot of bickering. 

Yoon Eun-hye is a precious bean who manages to sell the story of Eun-chan, a struggling androgynous working-class girl who mistakenly gets hired by a rich guy to play his boyfriend, then becomes his employee, then falls for him while not correcting his assumptions about her gender. Opposite her, Gong Yoo (from Train to Busan fame) is 🥰🥰🥰

Sidenote: Despite Han-kyul's struggle to accept his feelings for Eun-chan, homosexuality isn't treated as a joke or a shameful thing. The one time he goes seek “medical help”, the doctor is depicted as an old, clueless idiot. And honestly, the story would work too if Eun-chan was a guy. 

#12 My girlfriend is a Gumiho/My girlfriend is a Nine-tailed fox 

(내 여자친구는 구미호)

Grade: B+

Genre: Modern; Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki - Available on Netflix (FR) too

Campy and goofy. It does look a bit dated (it’s from 2010) and the story is a little predictable but Lee Seung-gi as Cha Dae-woong, an aspiring action film actor and Shin Min-ah as “Gu Mi-ho” the nine-tailed fox looking for a mate are super cute. The show is also a good introduction to Korean folklore.

#13 Goblin / Guardian: The Lonely and Great God / The Lonely and Great God – Goblin 

(쓸쓸하고 찬란하神 – 도깨비)

Grade: A+ 

Genre:  Modern, Historical, Fantasy, bromance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes-ish

Watched on: Viki 

Unpopular opinion but since I’m not into older guys, I wasn’t invested in the romance between Bride and Goblin until late in the series. I loved everything else though. The show has such a unique tone and atmosphere. It goes from super serious to goofy in no time. The cinematography is gorgeous (especially the historical sets) and you'll cry your eyes out.

#14 Healer 

(힐러)

Grade: A 

Genre:  Modern

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

If you're into toll broody guys and fearless smoll girls, you’ll love Healer. The story is great, the characters are great and the way Jung-hu (played by Ji Chang-wook) and Ji-an (Park Min-young) are horny for each other is peak drama! *chef kiss*

#15 Kangchi the beginning/Gu family book 

(구가의 서)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Historical, Fantasy

Episodes:

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Engaging coming of age story of a half-human half-gumiho looking for his place in this world. If it wasn't for the wishy-washy ending it could have been the perfect mix of action fantasy and romance. 

Special mention for Dam Yeo-wool (played by Suzie Bae) who is a female character who's allowed to be a bit of everything at the same time (strong, kick-ass, funny, cute, romantic) 

#16 Queen for seven days 

(7일의 왕비)

Grade: A 

Genre:  Historical, Romance, Villainous crush

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

With that title don’t expect a HEA but there are plenty of sweet moments along the way to make you appreciate the journey. 

Chae-kyung loves the Prince and the Prince loves Chae-kyung but the King wants to kill the Prince and Chae-kyung is loyal to the King but the King is a tyrant and everyone wants the Prince to take his throne. On top of that the King wants Chae-kyung. Big mess. Lots of feels.

The story is (very) loosely based on real-life Queen Dangyeong, which makes it even more poignant. I cried my eyes out at the end because I’m a big softy.   

#17 Korean Odyssey

(화유기)

Grade: A-

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Kinda

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The show (very loosely based on Journey to the West) has its faults including the wishy-washy ending and the fact that Jin Seon-mi/Sam-jang starts off as a doormat but I ended up liking the relationship developing between the assholish Monkey god and the naive human girl more than I expected.

The side characters are compelling, and the banter and bickering between the deities work really well. If you grew up with Dragon ball, you’ll have a blast trying to match-up the Japanese and Korean names of everyone without looking up Wikipedia.

Lastly, not something I imagined saying after seeing him in Gumiho and Gu family book but Lee Seung-gi as Son Oh-gong = BDE *fans herself* 🥵

#18 Strong Girl Bong-soon 

(힘쎈여자 도봉순)

Grade: A- 

Genre:  Modern, Super-Heroine

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning: Graphic depiction of violence against women

A++ super-heroine story, bad side characters 

First, every girl should aspire to find a Min-hyuk in their life. Someone who'll love them because of their strength, and support them unconditionally. Someone who won't ask them to change or pretend to be somebody else.

Second, western media should learn that a super-heroine can HAVE IT ALL—the superpowers AND the love AND the family. 

My only complaint with the show (and that's why I gave A- instead of A++) is the inclusion of many cringy side characters/situations that spoiled my overall enjoyment (see the caricatural flamboyant gay co-worker, Bong-soon’s mom hitting her dad, the mobsters...)

#19 The K2 

(더 케이투)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Modern, Political

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The romance is bad and the political story far-fetched but Ji Chang-wook is 🔥🔥PEAK HOTTIE🔥🔥

That being said, I didn’t completely dislike the political intrigue and it was interesting to see the good guy working for the villains (sort of). 

#20 Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo 

(역도요정 김복주)

Grade: A+ 

Genre:  Modern, Coming of age

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Uplifting coming of age story and super sweet romance. Bok-joo (Lee Sung-kyung) & Joon-hyung (Nam Joo-hyuk) are precious children on top of being cutie-patooties. Bok-joo’s insecurities hit hard, especially if you’ve ever been outside the norm of beauty standards.

I liked how the show normalizes therapy and taking care of your mental health.

In one word…

SWAG! 

#21 The scholar who walks the night 

(밤을 걷는 선비)

Grade: B 

Genre:  Historical, Fantasy, Vampire, posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Guilty pleasure. 

Don’t ask me about the details of the main storyline, I’ve already forgotten most of it. Sometimes all you need is a show where a hundred-something years old good vampire with a sad backstory and the main girl who is thirsty for the good vampire are fighting a sexy evil vampire. 

PS: Did I mention the sexy evil vampire?

#22 Romance is a bonus book 

(로맨스는 별책부록)

Grade: A+ 

Genre: Modern, Friends to lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Imagine reading a relaxing book under a cozy blanket while sipping hot cocoa. That’s how that series made me feel. 

Everything is sweet and soft from the characters' fluffy jumpers to the soft palette of color used for the sets. People make books and love books. There’s a mystery but no unnecessary angst. If you need a break from everything, jump in that ship. 

#23 Hotel Del Luna 

(호텔 델루나)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Sorta

Watched on: Viki - Available on Netflix (FR) too

Interesting world-building and a good cast of side characters but the romance lacks a bit of oomph. 

On the + side, the hotel sets are gorgeous and Man-wol's wardrobe is to kill for.

#24 Suspicious Partner 

(수상한 파트너)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Star-crossed lovers in an office

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Toll serious who hates criminal falls for smoll weirdo falsely accused of murder. A must watch for anyone in search of a quirky romance.

#25 Touch your heart 

(진심이 ��다)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Tooth rotting sweetness. The series is just a pretext to watch two good looking people (Lee Dong-wook and Yoo In-na) being nice and awkward around each other. What do you need more? 0

Note: If you watched Goblin you can also pretend it's a spin-off series about the reincarnations of Grim Reaper and Sunny. 💡

#26 Because this is my first life 

(이번 생은 처음이라)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Fake marriage

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The Fake Marriage AU you’re looking for, mixed with slices of modern, messy, complicated life. 

The main storyline revolves around Ji-ho an assistant drama screenwriter who struggles to find her place within the patriarchal structure of Korean society, and Se-hee, a socially incompetent computer designer who only cares for his cat and his mortgage. The way they end up in a fake marriage as well as the development of their relationship feels organic and doesn’t rely too heavily on comedy like it’s often the case with that trope.

The show also follows the stories of Ji-ho’s friends, Su-ji and Ho-rang who have different aspirations in life—Su-ji’s goal is to become CEO while Ho-rang only cares about becoming a housewife. I loved that the show makes a point to not pit women against each other and advocate living your life the way YOU want rather than trying to follow societal expectations of what love, work and marriage should look like. 

Also they have the cutest cat.

#27 What's wrong with Secretary Kim? 

(김비서가 왜 그럴까 )

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

I wish Secretary Kim had more agency in certain situations but the romance develops well and the horny moments are caliente 🥵🔥 

#28 Where your eyes linger 

(너의 시선이 머무는 곳에)

Grade: A++ 

Genre: Modern, BL, Coming of age, Friends to lovers

Episodes: 8

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Bite-size BL gem to devour in one sitting. 

Stellar acting from the two leads and the balance between fluff and angst is just right. There's no graphic violence that sometimes plagues yaoi and BL and the story is believable. I got emo remembering my first love. 

#29 Live up to your name 

(명불허전)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Historical, Time travel, Star-crossed lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning for graphic depiction of violence

Big surprise. I was looking for a cheesy comedy but it was actually a thoughtful story about humanism. I even teared up a little. 

Trigger warning for needles. They do some pretty impressive procedures with those acupuncture needles. 

#30 W - Two Worlds Apart 

(더블유)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Imaginary men > Real men, especially when they're played by Lee Jong-suk. Nuf’ said.

Imaginary men > Real men, especially when they're played by Lee Jong-suk.

The silly premise hides a solid story that keeps you on your toes and I was suprised by the rollercoaster of emotions I went through.

“Option 3″

“That’s 4 fingers”

#31 Life 

(라이프)

Grade: C 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Kinda

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Unless you want to learn how fucked up the private health sector is becoming in Korea, there's not much to gain watching this show. 

The story starts off well though. The problem is that by the middle of the series the writers have dropped the main mystery (the circumstances surrounding the death of the director) to deliver an exposé on the political machinations of big corporations, and then shoehorn an explanation at the last minute (“it was all but a misunderstanding”). Very underwhelming.

The relationship between the two brothers played by Lee Dong-wook and Lee Kyu-hyung is the only bright spot.

#32 Pinocchio 

(피노키오)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Fake family members who catch feels

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

On paper, the story sounds a little crazy but it all comes together nicely.

Lee Jong-suk and Park Shin-hye have great chemistry and deliver a stellar performance as “uncle” and “niece” (not related by blood) who can’t fight the romantic feelings they harbor for one another. The main storyline has enough twists to keep you entertained and surprised. 

My only complaint is that it drags a little. 16 episodes would have been enough. 

#33 My Holo Love 

(나 홀로 그대)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Sci-fi

Episodes: 12

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Fake men > Real men 

Imagine a Black Mirror episode about a love triangle between a woman suffering from face blindness, an emotionally supportive AI boyfriend and the disenchanted creator of said AI, minus the nihilism. *chef kiss*

#34 Legend of the blue sea 

(푸른 바다의 전설)

Grade: B++ 

Genre: Modern, Fantasy, Fairy tale, Star-crossed lovers

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Park Ji-eu (the writer) read the little mermaid and decided to give her a happy ending. Great chemistry between Lee Min-ho and Jun Ji-hyun but the spark is missing for me. 

The antics of modern-day mermaid Shim Cheong are a little predictable and Joon-jae needs to be less of a control freak at times but the story remains enjoyable. I was pleasantly surprised to see Shim Cheong’s character grow, making the power imbalance between the clueless mermaid and the con-artist less pronounced by the end of the series. 

The side characters are interesting but underused, and I wish Tae-oh was more developed. On the other hand, the Joseon area sets and costumes are absolutely gorgeous (Don’t tell anyone but Joseon!Lee Min-ho is hotter than Modern!Lee Min-ho 🥵)

#35 Tale of Arang / Arang and the Magistrate 

(아랑사또전)

Grade: B 

Genre: Historical, Fantasy,

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

One word: Campy.

Interesting lore but the pacing is a little off—there’s a lot of back and forth between the characters and the locations and the love triangle doesn't add much. 

#36 My ID is Gangnam Beauty / Gangnam Beauty  

(내 아이디는 강남미인)

Grade: A+ 

Genre: Modern, Coming of age

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

If you’ve ever been bullied for your looks, you’re gonna bawl your eyes out. 

The show does a great job of calling out the unhealthy beauty standards imposed on Korean women but the topic is universal enough for the story to resonate with everyone. I love that you never see Mi-rae’s old face because it’s not our perception of her lack of beauty that matters but the fact she suffers greatly. Don’t you hate in western shows when they take a beautiful actress, give her a pair of glasses or a fat suit and call her ugly, making sure the audience feels shittier about themselves? Here, the writers concentrate on Mi-rae’s transformation and her coping with the consequences of her decision to do plastic surgery. 

It’s also not a revenge fantasy where the ugly duckling suddenly becomes the most popular girl at school. Being a “Gangnam beauty” leads to a new form of suffering. 

Romance-wise, it’s the slowest burn of slow burns because Mi-rae and Do Kyung-seok are the most socially awkward beans on the planet. I love them, Your Honor. 

#37 Tale of Nokdu 

(조선로코-녹두전)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 32 x 30mns

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki - Now available on Netflix (FR)

Fun and lighthearted all the way through.

The story of a guy who puts on a dress to investigate a village of widows could have gone very wrong but it was well handled. It’s refreshing to see the classic trope of posing as the opposite sex reversed and Jang Dong-yoon is never cringy when he’s pretending to be Lady Kim Nok-soon.

#38 Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God

(하백의 신부 2017)

Grade: B

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Content warning: Crime against fashion

Promising premise and lore (I'm interested in reading the original comics now) but the writing fails to deliver an epic romance and a cathartic ending. Moreover, the sets lack imagination (or money?) and in the end I failed to ever feel immersed in a fantasy world.

The unfortunate consequence of the clumsy writing is that the male characters who are meant to be arrogant/confident Gods (Habaek and By-ryeom) sound like they're negging their love interests more than wooing them, and the relationship between Mu-ra and By-ryeom particularly irked me.

#39 Strangers from Hell / Hell is other people 

(타인은 지옥이다) 

Grade: A+

Genre: Modern, Psychological Thriller

Episodes: 10

Happy Ending: Spoiler

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Content warning: Violence 

What a departure from everything else in that list! Absolutely worth a watch if you enjoy thrillers and shows like Hannibal. If psychological horror isn’t your cup of tea though, you might give it a pass. 

The storyline and the characters are a little cliché (it goes with the genre) but the cinematography and photography are fantastic. You can notice how the pension becomes more and more sinister throughout the series via the use of dark greens and browns and pale yellows, as opposed to the mundanity and coldness of the city (greys, and cold blues).

Last but not least, the acting is top-tiers. Im Siwan does a great job at portraying Jong-woo, an aspiring crime novelist who slowly loses his marbles but the true revelation for me is Lee Dong-wook. After seeing him so many times in roles where he plays awkward yet charming men who can barely express emotions, I was intrigued to see him take on the role of a serial killer, and holy cow, he's the perfect mix of sinister and alluring. Towards the end of the series, his character Moon-jo acts like a black-hole whenever he appears in a scene—a towering, dark presence who sucks the light out of the room (If he carries any of that darkness in the upcoming Tale of Gumiho, it’s gonna be *chef kiss*).

#40 Empress Ki 

(기황후)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 51

Happy Ending: From a certain point of view

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning for violence against women (not graphic but implied)

51 episodes.

Fifty.One.Episodes.

That's a lot of episodes considering the story starts with the ending. 

Did I enjoy this show? Yes, very much so. Do I think it's for everyone? Nope. 

You'll enjoy Empress Ki if you're into old-school historical sagas or you wished Game of thrones had no gratuitous nudity and violence. If you’re looking for an historically accurate biography of the real empress Ki though, then look away because Empress Ki is basically a lengthy fanfiction trying to justify how the Goryeo native Seung-nyang married the wimpy Emperor of the Yuan dynasty whilst trying to portray her as loyal to her motherland and to her first love, the Crown Prince of Goryeo. 

Personally, I didn’t care for the love triangle formed by Seung-nyang (Ha Ji-won), Wang-yoo (Joo Jin-mo) and Toghon Temür (Ji Chang-wook) but I liked the politics and the backstabbing. Also, contrary to GoT, the bad guys get their comeuppance at the end so it makes watching the side characters die less painful.

#41 Meow, the secret boy / Welcome 

(어서와)

Grade: B-

Genre: Modern, Modern fantasy

Episodes: 24 x 35mns 

Happy Ending: I guess

Watched on: Viki

How do I put it? It's not *terribad* but it's not *good* either. 

I was super on board with the concept—if Lee Seung-gi can bang a nine-tailed fox in My girlfriend is a gumiho, I have zero issues with Sol ah, our heroine, falling in love with Hong-jo the cat-person after being dumped for no reason by Jae-sun her boyfriend—but it didn’t exactly develop that way, and as soon as they explained why Jae-sun had broken up with Sol-ah, the writers lost me because I like when things happen for a reason. 

#42 Clean with a passion for now 

(일단 뜨겁게 청소하라!!)

Grade: A-

Genre: Modern, Rom-Com

Episodes: 16 

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Super zany and tropey but that’s why it works so well. The only reason I’m giving it a minus is because it’s trying to be woke but in the end there’s still a lot of unsolicited grabbing and some iffy remarks/pick-up lines said by every male characters (IRL that’s the kind of story that ends up with a restraining order and a lawsuit for sexual harassment).

#43 Mystic pop-up bar 

(쌍갑포차)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 12

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning: Heavy themes (miscarriage, pregnancy, loss of a child, death of loved ones)

You know how the meme goes... Sometimes a family is a hot-tempered bar owner, a cursed kid and an ex-Afterlife-Police officer with a secret past. 

It took me a few episodes to get into it, but once the characters were established it became really enjoyable. 

The tone of the series leans toward wacky but the core of the story is actually pretty dark if you look into it. Every grudge they solve for their “clients” gives a clue about Wol-joo’s personal story and by the last episode I was crying my eyes out.

Last but not least, Wol-joo’s collection of modernized hanboks is *chef kiss*

#44 My secret Terrius 

(내 뒤에 테리우스)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Action, Comedy, Bromance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

An enjoyable action drama to watch with your family or your significant other.

Koreans prove that you can write a story about a black ops agent on the run who becomes a childminder without reeking of toxic masculinity. Contrary to American comedies where the manly-man-hero working undercover is incompetent and believes that working with children is a woman’s job and a waste of his manly-man talents until he has an epiphany of some sorts, Kim Bon (played by So Ji-sub) never once expresses discomfort to the idea of looking after two kids. In spite of his sober demeanor, he’s a caring and attentive person from the start and watching him gradually becoming a part of this spunky family while investigating a national security threat made my heart go awww.

Opposite him, fearless and resourceful mom Go Ae-rin (played Jung In-sun) brings a lot of energy, and the twins are absolutely adorable.

#45 Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

(달의 연인 - 보보경심 려)

Grade: A--

Genre: Historical  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Random streaming site

Don’t get attached—Moon Lovers is the missing link between Empress Ki and Boys over flowers, but with a sad ending.

I did binge watch the series but there are some frustrating aspects to it that prevented me from giving a perfect score, notably the fact that Wang So remains possessive and demanding with Hae Soo throughout the years—for instance “You’re my person” is a romantic statement until it evolves into “You can never leave me.”

The other problem of the series is that Lee Ji-eun (UI) does cute and goofy really well, but she doesn’t have the emotional range needed to portray a character who goes through many heartbreaks and betrayals. As a result, Hae Soo appears a little fickle in her infatuations with the princes.  

That being said if you’re a sucker for tragic romance and you believe that power corrupts even the purest of love, you’ll have a blast.

#46 Forest 

(포레스트)

Grade: B++

Genre: Modern, Romance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

UST in the woods (Dat first kiss 🥵🥵🥵)

The characters and the story are a little cliché but who doesn’t love a story where the protagonists are clearly attracted to each other but can’t act on their desires because their moral values are opposite?

*slams fist*

San Hyeok is your typical heartless businessman who refuses to confront his childhood trauma, and Yeong Jae is a surgeon who suffers from panic attacks and cares too much about other people. They’re both good looking and fate brings them to a remote village in the middle of the forest where they have to share a house. Really, I wonder what’s gonna happen?

#47 100 Days My Prince / Hundred days husband

(백일의 낭군님)

Grade: B+

Genre: Historical

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki 

Trigger warning: Important character death.

Cute and charming but also very annoying at times. Obviously, the story is tropey af (fake marriage doubled with amnesia, you can’t really beat that) but it also includes elements I’ve never seen in any other dramas like the fact that the Crown Princess is pregnant with another man’s child (le gasp!). The things that annoy me the most were the unnecessary flip-flopping of the heroine towards the end of the show for the sake of creating artificial drama (just let them be together FFS!) and the fact that the male characters take a lot of decisions for Yeon Hong-shim.

Romance wise, Do Kyung-soo and Nam Ji-hyun are really cute together but in the end I found myself more interested in the political intrigue and the side characters than the main romance because slow burn has its limit. In essence, it’s the perfect drama to watch with your conservative family because whilst the main couple is living under the same roof and is technically married they don’t get frisky. 

#48 I Am Not A Robot (로봇이 아니야)

Grade: A++

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Angsty with a good pay-off.

With a premise like that, things could have gone wrong really quickly but the writers managed to write a story that isn’t a man wanting to fuck a robot because real women are scary so big kudos for them. Seeing Min-kyu celebrating his Roomba’s birthday because he has no other friends will instantly melt your heart and from that point on you’ll cheer for his recovery. The show has the right amount of angst without becoming a mess and they handle the big reveal very well, making sure to show how hurt both Min-kyu and Ji-ah are by the situation, without making you doubt that they can find each other again. The other strong point of the show is that it’s not just about romance, it’s also about friendship and learning to let other people in your life. 

The acting is incredible to the point that by the end I wondered if Yoo Seung-ho and Chae Soo-bin were making out in front of my salad or if I was still watching the characters Min-kyu and Ji-ah being lovey dovey. 

#49 Sungkyunkwan Scandal (성균관 스캔들)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, Posing as the opposite gender

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Hana zakari no kimi tachi he with gats.

This show checks so many boxes when it comes to my favourite tropes story-wise and character-wise that I instantly fell in love with it. It might feel a little dated for a younger audience and it definitely suffers from the second male lead syndrome (who wants unseasoned boiled chicken when there are not just one but two juicy rotisserie chickens on the table next to you?!) but it’s still very much enjoyable. Also, they don’t shy away from using the word “homosexuality” and having one of the second lead confessing to having romantic feelings for his friend (I’ll take any scrap of bi-representation, okay?)

#50 It’s Okay to not be okay  (사이코지만 괜찮아)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Found family. 

In spite of one ridiculous plot twist (that I was aware of when I started the show) this show has made me feel all the feelz. The three main actors all did a phenomenal job portraying their characters in all their complexity and fragility and I ended up crying so many cathartic tears in the second to last & the last episodes.The relationship between Sang-tae and Gang-tae is one of the best sibling relationships I’ve seen on-screen in a long time while the romance between Moon-yeong and Gang-tae blends perfectly elements of comedy and melodrama. Mental illness isn’t treated as something to be ashamed of, whilst showing that you can grow and recover from trauma and finding your own happiness.

PSA from my boyfriend, who dropped the show before the end: 

The plot twist is so stupid that it takes away from the rest of the series. In my opinion it negated the positive portrayal of mental illness built up until then. They completely lost me.

^ We discussed a lot about it which is why I wanted to share his POV to balance my own review.

#51 coming soon

[voidsentprinces]

Hien: A Summary

Young boy born to Emperor. Watches Dad get rekt. Boy then grows up into Fratboy who tries to rebel against Metal Guys. But Dummy Thicc Prince punches him hard. So Gosetsu carries Fratboy off while Hot Ninja Wifes survivors over seas. Fratboy is left in the care of the Azim Steppe and Sheep Wife. Gosetsu seeks out Yugiri leaving Fratboy to wait. Yugiri shows up without Gosetsu and Fratboy wants to take a fandom consensus before making his appearance. Yuguri and Gosetsu return after being directed by Sheep Wife to Fratboy’s location. Fratboy asks if he’s hot enough to live. Yugiri confirms he is. Fratboy brings Scions to Sheep Village. Where Sheep Wife has them help with chores. Fratboy makes a bacon collection competition watched over by Gosetsu. Fratboy waits for WoL to pick up shit with Punchy Lady. After returning Fratboy gets Sheep Wive’s blessing to go break into sacred territory and steal a bird. So they go do that. But Fratboy and company are arrested by Alpha Alpha Sun. Fratboy tries to have a dick competition with Little Sun. Little Sun tells Fratboy to go do chores while Warrior of Light picks up Weed. Fratboy questions Little Sun’s history so Little Sun sends Fratboy to hot shaman who tells Fratboy to pick up Sheep, but not Sheep Wife. Fratboy picks up Sheep and learns history. Fratboy is then jailed with Punchy Lady while Warrior of Light and Gosetsu go visit Hot Moon Sorceress. Fratboy gives Punchy Lady a pep talk. Warrior of Light and Gosetsu return and say Hot Moon Sorceress’s goal is to punch the shit out of Little Sun. It is silently agreed upon by everyone including Fratboy that Little Sun probably deserves it. Azim tells Little Sun its Warrior of Light’s turn on the Xbox so Little Sun lets them return to Sheep Village. Fratboy helps go around Sheep Village to hype up sheep for WWE Smack Down. Fratboy helps punch both Little Sun and Hot Moon Sorceress until Warrior of Light wins. Fratboy then helps punch Shrek and his groupies the Metal Men. Fratboy then leads everyone back to Secret Hide Out where he plans to blow up his house cause Pipe Lady is there. Fratboy helps blow up his own house. Fratboy is left behind to flex and look hot for his fans. Fratboy stops flexing and eventually shows up to fight flying machines with the aid of Little Sun, Sheep Wife, and Hot Moon Sorceress.

Fratboy then peaces out to make a new Doma Castle with Black Jack and weekly material turn ins. Fratboy meets up with Gosetsu and Pipe Lady who now has amnesia. Fratboy meets Pipe Lady’s family. He thinks they’re all assholes. But he works with the Fifth Beatle to get some of his fans back. Pipe Lady then regains her memories and turns into the moon. Thats rough buddy. Fratboy gets his fans back and disappears. Until Fratboy is called upon to lead Warrior of Light into the League of Legends Community...I mean the Salt Mines...I mean the Burn. Fratboy then notices future stone technology and after hanging out with Goth Wife. Asks her to go with him to the Steppe to talk to Sheep Wife who directs them fight Hot Moon Sorceress. Warrior of Light fights Hot Moon Sorceress to orgasm while Fratboy and Goth Wife beat the shit out of Little Sun. Fratboy is present to Goth Wife hitting Little Sun with a tactical nuclear strike from orbit. Fratboy uses the Futuristic Stone Technology to build a wall. The first one to try and enter the wall is Broody McManpain carrying Elf Son. Fratboy then helps talk to The Wax Replica of Alan Ricknman with the other leaders including Sultana Nomorewine, Pirate Wife, Forest Wife, Ishgardian Husband, and Fratboy. Fratboy helps punch metal men. Fratboy tries to fight Elidibus Possessed Dummy Thicc Prince but gets punched.

Fratboy is now doing squats somewhere.