#the best way to treat Billy is to give him his space/respect but also like build sandcastles with him

[celebrities-fanbases]

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber is one of the most known artists of the century. When you think of a superstar in the early 2000’s, Justin Bieber surely makes the list. Much like Billie Eilish, Bieber has been in the spotlight since he was a kid. Having one of the largest fan bases of the decade, Bieber has been no stranger to obsessive fans. With fandom, however, comes a negative side. Many of Bieber’s fans – commonly referred to as “Beliebers” – have idolized him to an unhealthy amount. Bieber has also been one of the most common victims of open sexualization. Women and young girls fantasize about being with Bieber, which he initially embraced as it was part of his act; eventually it was taken too far. Girls would harass Bieber and have physical nonconsensual interactions with him. Some instances included touching, kissing, and inappropriate name calling. Although we’ve all idolized someone who has talents, it’s important to remember that everyone still has boundaries.

One of the highlights from the Belieber era included an on-stage tradition from his song “One Less Lonely Girl,” which involved a girl being called up to stage as he performed a song. Bieber would give the chosen girl flowers, as well as sing the song personally to her. Although this was a harmless tradition that made many lucky fans feel special, it was somewhat pedophilic. Bieber was in his teen years during his first performances and was constantly sexualized and romanticized, sometimes by older women. Oftentimes he would get very close to the girl and sometimes kiss her, many of whom may have been adults already. As he got older, people started to be less interested. I find it strange how Bieber’s career peaked only while he was a minor. Attached below is one of the girls from Bieber’s concert.

Bieber’s privilege has also caused him struggle. As a young, white, heterosexual, teenage boy, it was seen as an accomplishment for him to have millions of girls who loved and desired him. This completely disregards that he is still a person with feelings and boundaries, and it is still never okay to talk or treat someone in a way that makes them uncomfortable. It can easily be assumed he had the best outcome for someone with his privilege, but he still deserves to have personal space and respect just as any person should, as well as the ability to set a healthy boundary with his fans. From the previous post, the documentary The World’s a Little Blurry showed how Eilish bonded with Bieber at Coachella over similar experiences. Eilish showed an example of a healthy fan relationship. She was among the Beliebers, but was respectful to Bieber about his boundaries.

Alongside the oversexualization of Bieber, he was also harassed in public and in the comfort of his own home. Unfortunately all celebrities have faced an invasion of privacy, and Bieber’s extreme fame made him a prime target at the time. Even now as a much older man, Bieber still deals with stalkers. In an interview, he mentioned, “How do you convince yourself it’s not completely inappropriate and disrespectful to wait outside my home to gawk, stare and take pictures as I walk into my apartment?” Many fans often forget that who Bieber acts like on stage is a character, and he still has his own life outside of fame and music. It’s completely disrespectful and out of line to follow him to private places and exploit him while he wishes for privacy. If any other person were to be doing a normal activity such as walking into an apartment, taking pictures and following them would be a crime. Such fame can also bring an additional sense of feeling unsafe.

Although Bieber has always expressed how grateful he is for his fans and regularly interacts with them, everyone has a limit. Approaching someone you idolize should be done in a respectful way, while being mindful about the fact that they are also ordinary people and may just want to be left alone in that moment. Over the years, Bieber has continuously been in the public eye and exposed for his mental health. His vulnerability is something that was shown without his consent, and he has finally begun to open up about how he truly feels. Famous people are people too!

[redrobin-detective]

Beachtime Follies

It’s hard coordinating schedules with an 11 year old street kid.

“Hey Cap, can you switch shifts with me? I need New Years off because Carol wants to go to this New Years party and I need off monitor duty,” Billy looked over at Hal over his borrowed, too big sunglasses. Clark had declared that they were working too hard and proposed a beach day; Bruce had grumbled but offered up one of his private beaches anyway. He was probably getting way more work done here than he did between Dick and Jason bugging him.

“Sure,” he shrugged, going back to the comic book that Clark had borrowed him. 

“Way to pawn off crappy shifts on the 10 year old,” Ollie muttered not too quietly out of the corner of his mouth. Billy groaned quietly to himself, settling in for another argument about him but not with him. 

“Hey we all voted to keep the kid in the League,” Hal defended, “that means he’s got just as much power and responsibility as the rest of us. I was looking at the schedule and saw he was available. What do you want in return, Bill? I can’t do Christmas but I can take your Memorial Day.”

“It really doesn’t matter, Mr. Jordan,” Billy sighed, “it’s not like I ever have any plans over the holidays.” He instantly regretted his words as a familiar hush fell over the happy little group. They may have accepted him as Captain Marvel and, reluctantly, allowed him to continue living his life but that doesn’t mean they’re happy about it.

“While we’re on the subject of schedules, we should set aside times for regular meetings,” Bruce interrupted before it got too awkward. He looked over his laptop, commanding everyone’s attention and drawing it away from Billy to his immense relief. He set down his comic and scooted closer.

“We normally meet every Wednesday, is that still acceptable?” He asked as everyone else whipped out their phones, tablets or pocket calendars. Billy looked down at the sand and wrote a big W. 

“I’m actually taking some night classes on painting and most happen to fall on Wednesdays, any chance we can move to Thursday?” Diana asked. Everyone went back over their phones. 

“Some of my business meetings are on Thursdays but this would be a good excuse to leave early,” Ollie said with a wry grin.

“Actually Thursdays work better more me, Iris also works late on Thursdays so that leaves us Wednesdays free for date nights,” Barry added, furiously typing on his tablet. Billy wiped out the W he had written in the sand and replaced it with a Th. 

“Do you,” Clark said next to him hesitantly, “do you need something to write on?” 

“Nah, I got it all up here,” Billy said, tapping at his temple.

“Well how do you keep track of your schedule?” Barry asked, holding up his tablet calendar with all it’s multicolored dates and appointments.

“I memorize the schedule when its comes out and then look at the bank sign for what day it is,” Billy nodded. Honestly it’d been working out pretty well so far, he’d only missed a few meetings and it was mostly because he’d been held up.

“Christ, as soon as we’re done here I’m buying you a phone, kid,” Ollie said with an eyeroll.

“I don’t need a phone,” Billy sighed, “It’d only make me a target for theft and, besides, I don’t have electricity in my building to charge it or anything.”

“I thought you were electricity?” Hal squinted.

“Yeah but magic lightning doesn’t really work well with technology,” Billy frowned. “I tried to fix the microwave at the local shelter and it ended up exploding.” He still hasn’t gone back to that shelter. How exactly was he supposed to explain how he got bits of microwave parts embedded in the ceiling? 

“We all have our own systems, if you say it’s not a problem then we must simply accept it,” Diana interrupted. “Now back to business, what day are we having the communal birthday party? We almost always hold it in June, would the 29th work for everyone?” Billy wrote 29 in the sand and stared at it until the number locked in his head. He needed to find something to bring to that.

“Alright, I'll put that in the master schedule and send it out to everyone. Billy, would you like a printed copy?” Bruce asked.

“I’m fine really,” Billy insisted, standing up and stretching. “If you guys really want to help me, you can help me build the biggest sandcastle imaginable.” 

“Oh I am so in,” Hal said throwing his phone over his shoulder and sprinting to the shoreline. “Last one there is a rotten egg.” Barry and Diana followed at super speed; Billy gaped for a minute before chasing after. 

“Cheaters! If I had the Speed of Mercury now you’d all be on your asses”

[henrysglock]

Why is Lucas not in your story? Because he's black?

Okay guys buckle in because this is a long one. Phantom has a main cast of about 10 characters, give or take a few based on opinion of what counts as a main character. That means not every character can have a leading role, and not every character can be in every chapter. Many characters can't be forced to fit into the established character roles, either. Alongside that, there are plenty of characters who have not appeared yet, but will in the future. There are also plenty of characters who will not appear at all.

For example:

Main Cast Christine- Will Byers Raoul- Mike Wheeler Mme. Giry (age swapped)- Jane Meg Giry (age swapped)- Joyce Byers Carlotta- One of the older teens, already assigned. Piangi- One of the older teens, already assigned. Angel/Phantom- [REDACTED] Joseph Buquet- Eddie Munson André- One of the adults, already assigned. Firmin- One of the adults, already assigned.

ST Cast Present, but bit part thus far Jonathan Byers- Background character at best. Dr. Owens- Has appeared once in passing. Chrissy Cunningham: Has appeared once in passing.

ST Main Cast Not Yet Present Billy Hargrove Tammy Thompson Jim Hopper Murray Bauman Max Mayfield Nancy Wheeler Holly Wheeler Robin Buckley Steve Harrington Dustin Henderson Lucas Sinclair Erica Sinclair Argyle [No Last Name Given] Bob Newby Dr. Brenner Any of the parents besides Joyce Any of the lab children besides Jane and [REDACTED] Any of the various bullies So please, anon, tell me:

Was I supposed to make Lucas into Joseph Buquet and have him hanged on stage in front of a crowd of rich people?

Absolutely the fuck not.

Was I supposed to make him Carlotta and have him a) lash out at Will verbally and physically and b) be publicly humiliated in front of a crowd of rich people?

That would be character assassination in the worst way, considering that he's one of the kindest and most loving characters on the show (not to mention that he and Will are canonically close friends). This would also just be terrible treatment of his character.

On top of that, I'm ignoring a majority of the ST cast in this fic. The majority of them stay in Indiana, unwritten and undeniably white. It's not about race, it never has been. It's about developing my plot line in a way that doesn't feel like I'm trying to cram every character into every chapter even if they aren't plot-relevant.

Lucas, like Mike, has shown up in Will's memories in previous chapters. That's because Lucas, like Mike, doesn't fit as an autonomous character yet. They exist only in Will's memories right now for a reason, anon. That's part of writing a cohesive story. Characters need to be introduced at points that makes sense. There are certain emotional plot lines that need to develop due to the absence of certain characters.

So: I can't make Lucas fit into an established leading role, but that doesn't mean I can't write him his own plot line as supporting cast.

I haven't even gotten past chapter 3. There are 16 (ish) chapters in the works. I haven't even brainstormed chapter details past chapter 4, which I've only just begun to plan in an outline format (let alone actually writing it). I've only got a vague overarching view of what I want to address in each chapter right now.

There's plenty of space for me to create a plot line for Lucas, one of his own that stays true to his character while also treating him with respect and kindness.

You haven't given me the time to develop that space.

I'd appreciate it if people didn't automatically assume the worst of me, especially about a work in progress. I ask repeatedly for constructive criticism. That doesn't include passing judgement on me and implying I'm a racist for not including certain characters in my plot when I'm not even 1/4 through the story yet.

[fernweh-writes]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. May I please have a romantic matchup for a horror slasher? My pronouns are They/Them and I’m pansexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers and murder documentaries. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. A friend of mine even likes to call me "discount vomitboyx". I’ve also been called "doomer boy kinnie", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( My Chemical Romance, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Slipknot, Get Scared, sometimes Will Wood, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally gaming on my switch or read and talk about Greek mythology. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive, and I suffer from asperger syndrome, depression and anxiety. I have small tics, but they only flare when I’m stressed or mad. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - coii

I can’t even count how many times I used the wrong version of your/you’re cause I’m on mobile. When I use my phone my respect for grammar gets thrown out the window I’m so sorry bestie…

-Fern🌿

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher

A s/o who’s a bit chaotic and a lot like them? Sign them up! The three of you will be breaking into abandoned places all of the time. Luckily for you, Billy and Stu are smarter than people give them credit for so y’all getting caught being any place you shouldn’t be is highly unlikely.

Of course, having a s/o who is into horror and true crime is always a plus for these two considering that they are obsessed with both of them.

They see you’re height as a bonus. Having a short s/o makes them feel dominant and powerful. It’s so easy for them to just pick you up and move you around and it really gets them going.

Your sarcasm never comes off as rude to them seeing as their sense of humor is also pretty morbid and twisted. Plus, we’ve all seen the way those two treat poor Randy, being mean is their version of humor. So while other people might think you’re being rude, they simply thing that you’re absolutely hilarious.

Your occasional feisty nature is also extremely entertaining to them. They honestly find it cute. However, they also understand when you get closed off and just need time to yourself. Stu is very clingy but after how long he’s put up with Billy he’s gotten used to giving the people close to him their space when they need it. Billy also shuts people out and likes to be alone whenever he’s upset or overwhelmed so he respects your alone time.

Billy likes to hear you ramble on about your interests. Whether it’s about a recent Greek myth you’ve read about, a book, true crime documentary, etc he’ll listen to every little detail. Well okay maybe he zones out occasionally but he promises he’s trying his best to pay attention.

Stu has plenty of money and only feeds your plushie addiction. If you keep them on the bed expect him to jump on the pile of them whenever he comes over. Billy gets annoyed by them saying that they only get in the way and there’s no reason for you to have so many.

You won’t know what touch starved is after just a week with Stu. He constantly hangs on people and since you’re small he enjoys just picking you up and carrying you around like a child with a toy they’re attached to. If he needs to get up and grab something don’t think he’s gonna break away from cuddling, you’re coming with him whether you like it or not.

[scarlet--wiccan]

your ideal billy/teddy duo comic (plot, character designs, artists and writers involved etc)

One thing that I've always wanted to see is a comic about Billy and/or Teddy that was produced entirely by mlm creators. Vecchio, Robles and Gracia are all gay artists who've worked with the characters on recent titles, and I'm eager to see more from them. While none of these artists have ever shown the characters in a way that exactly suits my wants, they've each demonstrated a clear personal vision of who Billy and Teddy are that I can respect. I find that Vecchio and Robles, as illustrators, both articulate a gay sensibility in their designs and are able to represent a range of gay identities and expressions with not only dignity, but real love, which is frustratingly hard to come by. Oh, also, Kevin Wada covers, because duh.

Writers are a little bit more difficult for me. I love Anthony Oliviera and I know that he's got a lot of ideas for the characters, so I'd be delighted to see anything that he might pitch. Vecchio also does write, and his creator-owned series, Sereno, is an urban superhero story in a modern fantasy setting-- something he describes as Batman Beyond meets Sailor Moon. Based on that, I think he'd do a great job telling a story about a witch and shapeshifter from New York. I know that Sina doesn't work for Marvel anymore, but I've always wished he could've done Billy and Teddy in a sweet little rom-com miniseries, or even just a single issue special. He's particularly good at writing tender, funny, and just unapologetically gay characters who signal authentic elements of our culture and community without making them cheap or laughable. That is a quality which I find essential for Billy and Teddy, and it's part of why I want more mlm creators to work with them.

If you had asked me this question last year, I would have had an easier time pitching ideas for these characters. I'm eager to see what the future holds for them, but "rulers of an interplanetary nation" was never part of my vision for how Billy and Teddy would be spending their early twenties. I did have this idea for an ongoing series about their "college years", wherein Billy would be studying magic with Wanda and Agatha, and Teddy would work part time with Carol or Alpha Flight while attending community college or learning a trade, like piercing or tattoo artistry. The idea was that they'd often spend time apart, as they'd each be focusing on their own careers and having individual storylines, but they'd always come home to each other at the end of the day and lend each other support, in ways both mundane and super-heroic.

I used to imagine that they'd stay in that nice apartment Sunspot got them, which would act as sort of a crash pad/base of operations for a revolving cast of their friends. They could convert one of the rooms into a magical sanctum for Billy, and another into a study room or art studio for Teddy. Tommy, America, Kate, or whoever could crash on their sofa whenever they're in town or need to do a team-up. Wanda could help Billy ward the apartment so that he and America are the only ones who can portal in and out, but then Loki would find a way to get around the wards and cause trouble, and there'd be a whole dramatic reunion. The whole idea could easily be adapted as a Young Avengers ongoing if you widened the focus from the main couple and treated it as an ensemble piece with individually chunked plot-arcs, much like the original series.

Unfortunately, that idea no longer holds as much water as I'd like because, for one thing, they lost that apartment and never explained why-- it seems like it was passively retconned out in between New Avengers and Death's Head. More importantly, they now live in space, with Teddy being a busy ruler of an interstellar Alliance, and Billy his prince-consort.

I would still like to explore the idea of them pursuing separate goals and working in separate fields while never being truly apart. Empyre introduced a clever plot device wherein Billy is now able to sense Teddy's location and teleport to him instantly, no matter the distance, which, I assume, works in reverse as well. This feat of magic is made possible by their marriage, which binds them symbolically and draws on the power of their love. They can go anywhere and do anything on their own, and still be together again at a moments' notice, which is super romantic and also affords them more flexibility than most superhero couples. I would still pitch a series about Billy doing magic work on Earth while Teddy does diplomacy in space, and one can always warp to the other when they need backup fighting a bad guy. They could even switch back and forth between staying on Teddy's throne-ship, and getting cozy at Billy's little Manhattan apartment when they want to get away from it all.

I guess my final answer is that I want the two of them to be fully realized, individual characters whose love is illustrated through mutual support rather than, like, being glued to each other's hips. The things that I want to see Billy doing are very far removed from the things that I want to see Teddy doing. Superhero characters tend to lose momentum when you marry them off, and superhero couples tend to fizzle when you keep them apart, but Billy and Teddy's unique strength is that they're never truly apart, and their relationship never seems to lose steam-- they've been a pair from the start, and... they're a little obsessed with each other.

The Billy story that I most want to see right now is a full Maximoff team-up. It could go in one of two directions: A) a quest to uncover Natalya's history and finally vanquish the Emerald Warlock, in which they're waylaid by Doom and other magic villains from their past, while teaming up with their magical friends around the world-- basically a sequel to Scarlet Witch; or, B) a showdown with Krakoa and a resolution of their relationship with Erik, which, best case scenario, partially reverses the Axis retcon and proves once and for all that the Maximoffs are mutants. If we got a longer series, we could actually do both plots-- they learn something about Natalya which leads them back to Erik, and the two arcs become a larger story.

The Teddy story that I most want to see is a Guardians-esque space romp with political elements featuring Teddy, Xavin and Noh-Varr as, like, a sexy-alien-boys version of the Gullwings from Final Fantasy X. Does that make sense? I don't have a great grasp on the political landscape of Marvel Space so it's a little hard for me to come up with details, but I know that the status quo has been totally upended, so there are going to be different factions and movements springing up, and likely no shortage of villains and space monsters rearing their heads when the dust of the war has fully settled. Teddy's a monarch now, but he's also been set up as this Arthurian hero-king, so I think there's still room for him to go on adventures and fight his own battles with his magic sword and, maybe, a crew of loyal space knights.

Having said aaaallll of that, I would absolutely die for a full-on fantasy adventure story with Billy and Teddy. I mean, Teddy's a king with a magic sword and his husband is a super-powerful witch. It's gotta happen. I'd actually be into them having a rematch with Mother, who is a pretty adaptable villain, in that her abilities and motives will differ depending on how she's been summoned. I'd also really like them to have a chance to go up against Sequoia directly, and on more even grounds. Quoi is such a great enemy for them because they represent the same generation of Avengers babies, and, actually, Quoi's origins are directly tied to Billy's-- their respective parents had a double wedding together. Sequoia and Teddy's arcs in Empyre paralleled and contrasted each other beautifully, but the two characters had no meaningful interactions. I want to see thems as arch rivals, and maybe, begrudgingly.... friends? Plus, I love that they're both alien princes who live in sci-fi stories, but whose aesthetics and powers are pure fantasy-- Quoi's a dryad wizard and Teddy is King Arthur, if King Arthur was a gay anthropomorphic dragon.

Anyways, that's my Wiccan+Hulkling pitch. The first arc is Billy and Teddy facing off against Sequoia in a magic forest that he's grown on his new planet, only to find out that they've been set up by Mother.

In the second arc, the three of them grudgingly team up against Mother while hashing out their shared backstories and giving Quoi, who's literally never had peers to relate to, a chance to fully come to grips with the way he was conditioned and manipulated by his father. Instead of conjuring dead parents, Mother seems to be able to summon dead children, which makes her particularly dangerous around the Cotati, Kree and Skrull, who've just emerged from a war and have countless recent dead.

In the third arc, Mother has freed R'kll and they've set their sights on Earth. Billy heads out with America and Tommy to ask Loki for advice on defeating her, while Teddy brings Sequoia before the Avengers as his charge in order to ensure that Quoi receives provisional immunity.

Loki is able to provide insight on how Mother might have been summoned and what the parameters might be for breaking the spell that's tethering her to Earth-616. It turns out that Mother is essentially holding Anelle's soul hostage and has been appearing to R'kll in her form. Mother's hold, at this point, has spread to the entire Alliance, and Teddy will have to defeat her or else she'll use it to destroy Earth and decimate his nation in the process.

Teddy recruits Wanda to help face Mother down. (side note, I'm desperate to see more of their relationship as in-laws.) Wanda agrees to work with Sequoia but insists on calling Mantis and making them talk.

The final showdown is the three boys, plus Wanda and Mantis, against Mother, R'kll, and an army of dead alien soldiers. Mantis and Wanda are able to pull Anelle's soul from Mother's grasp, but this doesn't banish her-- Mother's true anchor was R'kll, who'd been carrying Anelle's ghost in her heart ever since the destruction of Tarnax.

R'kll believes that she's always acted in the best interest of her nation, and she thought that bringing back Teddy's mother would finally make him see her way. Anelle and Teddy have a tearful reunion, but he admits that the only mother he's really mourned was the woman who raised him.

Wanda, Mantis, and Anelle, as a trio of mothers united with their lost sons, are able to reverse and seal Mother's power, which was based on lost children. They are not able to banish her, however, until R'kll steps forward and sacrifices herself, believing now that the best she can do for her nation is to rid the Alliance of the curse she brought upon it.

R'kll and Anelle begin to dissipate, but R'kll's sacrifice has called forth the spirit of Mrs. Altman, who is finally granted some closure and dignity in death by getting a chance to see how far Teddy's come and the peace that he's built in her memory.

Lots of crying! I made this sad. I'm sorry.

[anonthenullifier]

Tommy’s First Girlfriend

Thanks for the ask, I hope you enjoy it!  -

It is not in Tommy’s nature to be nervous. Fifteen years of data so far has confirmed this. The last time there was any speck of a wavering self confidence was right before his first review with Sam after a mission, even then it was only a speck amongst the sea of almost endless assuredness that Vision admires (and may even envy) so much in his son. But here Tommy stands, refusing to make eye contact or keep his fingers still while asking a simple question, “Is it okay if I have a, uh,” Vision catalogs the way Tommy runs a hand through his hair, failing to find any similar instances of it being a nervous tic, “friend over to watch a movie, or something.” The last two words are muttered quickly and quietly.

The request is a common one, the Maximoff house slowly becoming a haven of sleepovers and study sessions, primarily for the Young Avengers crew, much to Vision’s delight. “Of course. When-”

“Tonight.”

Wanda glances at Vision, wordlessly seeking if he’s picking up on the general weirdness of Tommy’s on edge and too abrupt, even for a speedster, responses. A small nod provides confirmation and Wanda does what he cannot, easing seamlessly into a natural candor that masks her interrogation. “That’s fine. Is it the whole group or just Nate?”

The grout between the tiles of the backsplash becomes fascinating to their son, his feet developing a gentle forwards and backwards rock. Vision turns to inspect the area above the stove, just to be sure there is not a spectral demon coming through (an event that, sadly, happened a few months prior). There is nothing but the powder blue and white checkered pattern. Eventually, with an uneasy sigh, Tommy answers, “Her name’s Lisa.”

Vision sorts through all the files of people their boys have talked about and doesn’t find a match, even amongst the files from their old schools. This is not an issue, however, because they trust their sons in choosing friends. Before Vision can state this, Wanda mines for just a touch more background, a cheery smile on her face as she asks, “Who’s Lisa?”

Tommy’s rocking increases to a rate above a normal human’s, a sure sign he is contemplating whether he remains in the kitchen with them or abandons the entire endeavor by turning into a streak of green. “I met her during Avengers Give Back,” an annual community service event Pepper started five years prior, “we cleaned up the juvie cafeteria together.”

The attendee list for that site streams through Vision’s mind, stopping at the name Lisa Molinari, female, age fifteen, Springfield, New Jersey. Vision shrugs off the slight annoyance at the knowledge of Tommy hiding a friend from them, something that is within their son’s right but Vision thought they had a more open communication relationship with their children than that, and begins planning. “Does she have any food allergies?”

“Fine, geez,” Tommy’s confession bursts out, “she’s kinda my girlfriend, I think, I don’t know, we’re feeling it out, but I just need you all to be cool and just stay out of it.” A half second of silence is enough for him to actually process the question that was asked, as opposed to the one he thought was, his eyes wide, darting everywhere but Vision and Wanda. “I uh..” If not for Vision’s optimized visual processing, he never would have seen Tommy yank his phone out nor registered the furious tapping of his fingers before being informed, “I’ll let you know when she texts back.” With that Tommy extricates himself by disappearing in a blur.

—

If Tommy was nervous before, now he is veering into full blown anxiety, circling the room at a pace that threatens the integrity of their couch and has led to Wanda securing the bowl of popcorn in a cloud of red so they don’t have to clean up the room again.  “Thomas…” for the majority of parenthood, Vision has found himself at a loss for how to fully advise their children, having never experienced a true childhood himself, but in this instance, he finally feels useful, remembering the way he would hover endlessly in thought at how to approach Wanda or analyze whether her laughter and gentle touches to his arm meant something more than just a close friendship. A second, “Thomas,” slows their son down. It doesn’t stop him completely, but he is now moving at a conversational pace. “Entering into a relationship can be exhilarating and terrifying. It is-”

“I’m not afraid of her, dad.”

“I should hope not.”

Tommy’s annoyance manifests in a moody sigh and an eye roll, an attitude not conducive to romance and one Vision hopes to quell. “You simply need to be yourself and enjoy your evening.” A flippant shrug is all he gets and Vision does his best to temper his own annoyance at how hard Tommy can make it to have a meaningful conversation, something Wanda assures him is fairly common for teenage humans. “You should also be sure to be respectful and remember that consent goes two ways. Neither pressure her or be pressured yourself into an action you are not ready for. There is ample time for physical developments in a relationship and thus there is no need to rush anything.”

“Oh my God.”

Wanda smirks, her hand finding Vision’s and providing him a commiserate squeeze, “Your father’s right. Relationships have to be built on trust and respect.” If he and Wanda were of the same mind, this is where the conversation would stop, however, his wife far prefers to throw a little chaos into any situation. “Plus, we’re going to be in the kitchen all night and don’t want to overhear anything, got it?”

Tommy’s flustered, “Mom,” ends abruptly at the descending two note chime of the door bell. They allow their son to answer the door, his “Hey,” deeper than usual and attempts to be suave, or so Vision assumes based on the clearly fake air of nonchalance Tommy tries to exude by shoving his hands into the pockets of his tracksuit. ���Come on in.”

His date’s voice is the only thing that comes through the door,  “My foster dad wanted to make sure your parents are here.”

The exasperated tone of the statement melds perfectly with the jerky wave of Tommy’s hand, directing Vision and Wanda towards the door. Once Tommy and his date move out of the way, Wanda sends a friendly wave to the man in the silver minivan. He acknowledges them with a single honk and then drives off.

“Thanks,” with the van gone Lisa relaxes just enough to smile politely at them while still making it known how ridiculous she thinks the request was, “He’s a bit protective.”

“Understandably so.” Vision cannot fault the man. Much to Billy’s chagrin, Vision always makes sure the Altman’s are around whenever their son goes to socialize, and the Altman’s, in return, always text to be sure Teddy can come over. Realizing they are all standing in an awkward circle, Vision allows his manners to soothe the air. “Welcome, I am-“

Tommy verbally elbows his way in, eager to move them along, “My dad and this is my mom and this” he waves a hand at his date, who grins nervously during the rushed intros, “is Lisa.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Mom, dad, you had something to do, right?”

Wanda nods, hands coming to wrap around Vision’s bicep to tug him towards the kitchen, “Let us know if you need anything.”

—

They remain, mostly, hidden for the duration of the night, tucked behind the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, conversing almost exclusively through Wanda’s telepathic link. At semi-random intervals either Vision or Wanda will cross the hardwood floors to get a cup of water or a snack, each time tracking the movements of the teens on the couch. Slowly Tommy inches closer to his date, their voices hushed but giddy, and on Vision’s trip back with another glass of water, his lips journey up into an easy arc at the way Lisa has slouched over, her ponytail laying across Tommy’s arm. When he sets the glass down for Wanda, taking her hand into his own so he can toy with the band of her wedding ring, Vision whispers his assessment. “They have reached the cuddling phase.”

This causes his wife’s nose to scrunch up, an adorably joyful sight, her eyes flashing red just to confirm his own conclusion, “They’re happy.”

“That’s all that matters.” Vision leans in, placing a kiss to his wife’s forehead, fond memories surfacing of their own movie night where they transitioned from friends to something more. “Would you care to join me on the deck for some stargazing?”

Instead of agreeing, she studies his face, an air of suspicion hovering between them, “You want to abandon our post?”

“I want to give them some time.”

The curl of her lips suggests she remembers their own pleas to their teammates, of just wanting time and space to exist as a couple instead of being subjected to prying eyes and whispers, “All right, Maximoff.”

Wanda accepts his arm and follows him out the back door and onto the swinging bench.

Time loses meaning under the stars with Wanda snugly wedged under his right arm. Which is why he’s surprised to hear the door open, gentle, unhurried footfalls bringing Tommy to the swing. Wanda brings her knees up, hugging them to her chest to give Tommy space to plop down, the action sending the swing into a wobble.

“How was your date?”

Unlike his usual sardonic avoidance, Tommy smiles, eyes upturned towards the sky, “It was fun.”

Vision cannot control how the world treats his children, no matter how valiantly he tries, and so he relishes moments like now, content in knowing Tommy is happy. “Wonderful.”

[sirsparklepants]

On Abuse, Anger, and Control: Billy Hargrove

The next chapter of In a Day or Two opens with an explicit scene of child abuse. It’s been there from the initial outline. There are other scenes of abuse prior to this, but this is the first (and probably the only) one where it gets physical. I was working on it last night, and I had some Thoughts about how the Harringrove fandom as a whole deals with writing Billy’s canonical abuse.

Below the cut: explicit descriptions and discussion of child abuse, some mild criticism of fandom trends

Here’s the thing, so I don’t get a bunch of messages and replies questioning my bona fides: I’m the survivor of a childhood probably best described as “cartoonishly abusive”. I don’t talk about it a lot, not because I’m ashamed or whatever, but because it’s honestly so much ridiculous bullshit that I sound like a soap opera character. I definitely relate to Billy, but what’s depicted on the show I tend to see as comparatively mild on the “bad parenting” scale.

But I do relate to Billy. I see parallels in our upbringing. I want him to stop being such a fuckhead teenager and grow up to be a decent adult who left his past behind him, as much as I can. That’s really why I started reading Harringrove fic: no one in the fandom is shy about saying “yes, Billy’s a fuck, but probably a big chunk of it is that he’s an abused kid.” It’s a big part of his character, and even if authors understandably don’t want to deal with on-page abuse, I’ve read very few fics that don’t acknowledge this. Which is great, honestly, there’s a ton of fandoms that don’t do half as well. But I have noticed a trend that’s been niggling at me. A lot of stories paint Billy’s abuse as extremely, and only, physical. To an extent, that’s understandable - he is hit and shoved around in canon, and media and society in general tends to paint physical (or sexual, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms) abuse as the Most Serious Abuse There Is. I think it does a disservice to both Billy’s canon situation and many abuse survivors, though.

I don’t doubt that those authors are coming from a very good place. It’s fucking hard to get into the mindset of an abusive person so that their actions have internal consistency, whether you’re an abuse survivor or not. It can feel like you’re doing something wrong. It can be incredibly upsetting. It’s understandable to go for what’s been presented to you as the worst thing and leave it at that. The thing is, though, that for the most part? The actions of an abuser are not random. They’re very calculated to fulfill the abusers’ goal: keep their victim under their power. In my experience, physical abuse was just one tool my abusers used very judiciously to express their control over me. 

Yes, Neil does absolutely physically abuse Billy. That’s onscreen. It’s canon. It’s undeniable. But I seem to have taken away something different from that scene than a lot of other viewers. The physical abuse is bad, but the way his father acts? It’s an act of control, of expressing his power over his son. Billy is clearly physically larger and stronger than his father, but he never fights back. In my opinion, that’s because his father has somehow made resisting him seem useless or futile - either because he’s abused Billy from a young age, as we see in s3, or because he’s manipulated the situation so that if Billy does physically resist, he’ll be the one in legal trouble. He also only gets physical when it seems like Billy will do something he hasn’t mandated - go out and have fun. The thing that absolutely cements this for me, though, is how his father used Max.

I have four stepsisters who I love dearly. They’re my sisters as much as the ones I have who are blood related. However, we did not have the easiest relationship growing up, mostly because our parents manipulated us into seeing ourselves as extensions of my father’s first and second wives and therefore natural adversaries. They did this because if we stood together against them, their control would slip. And I see this very much in Billy’s relationship with Max. His father has placed him in a role of semi-parental responsibility to her, something Billy clearly resents. Max often defies his authority, and this clash between them serves to make their relationship bitter. Billy is a bucket of fried assholes to Max, clearly, and she doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t see his behavior towards her as coming entirely from himself. Given the fact that Neil uses Max as an excuse to push Billy around and make him cancel his plans, making Billy see Max as an extended instrument of his abuse, it’s pretty clear to me that Neil is driving a wedge between them on purpose.

Because here is the thing: as a child abuse survivor, you are counting down the days. High school graduation, college admissions, turning 18, that military recruitment date - as you get into your mid-teens, there’s something you see as an out. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a rope you’re holding onto with both hands. It’s something you absolutely are keeping secret from your abuser, or if they must know, it’s something you frame so it seems like their achievement, something you did because of them. Season 2 Billy is clearly fast approaching that date, whatever it is for him, and that date? It means he’s out from under Neil’s thumb. And being out of their control is the worst case scenario for abusers. If Max and Billy have an alliance against Neil, much more things can get done under his nose to try and get Billy out of that house. And Neil probably knows it.

To my mind, Neil is all about control. Even in his physical abuse scene, he slaps Billy and pushes him up against things - nothing likely to leave suspicious marks. Clearly he knows his son is often shirtless or otherwise unclothed. The type of physical abuse he engages in isn’t a loss of control on his part at all. He wants to make it seem like it is, like Billy made him lose control with his “bad” behavior, but he goes into Billy’s space, so that anything broken will be his. He uses his physicality, but only to an extent. He never crosses a line that would have anyone asking any questions. He doesn’t do anything “bad enough” that his watching wife, who clearly doesn’t approve, would feel she’s forced to intervene. (Although I have a whole essay on The Narrative Role Of Susan, that’s not for today.) And, most notably to me, he stays away from any windows. To me, these are all signs that Neil is perfectly in control, just choosing to make Billy believe he isn’t.

The other thing about Neil and that scene - he clearly wants to make Billy believe that he is at fault. That there’s some imaginary standard he can reach where his behavior will be satisfactory enough that he won’t suffer his father’s wrath. That, somehow, what Neil does to him are the consequences of Billy’s actions. In reality, of course, that’s just not true, but it is a classic abuse technique. If an abuse victim truly believes that what they’re trapped in is a no-win scenario, then most of the time, they figure what’s the point in trying, and stop engaging completely with what the abuser wants. And that kind of behavior is a loss to the abuser. So they have to make their victim believe that there is something they can do to “fix” things, therefore putting the onus of the abusive behavior on their shoulders as well. The fact that Neil talks about standards of behavior Billy is expected to meet - the classic “respect and responsibility” is proof to me that that’s what his intent is with that scene.

So, is the physical abuse Billy endures from his father horrible? Yes, absolutely, and no child should be treated like that. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s the symptom of something larger - the control his father tries to exert over many aspects of his life - rather than the absolute worst part of what he suffers. And when I see his abuse reduced in fiction to primarily the physical, it feels... like a reduction of what canon gives us. The Billy I see depicted in fic sometimes has experiences that I have trouble relating to at all, as opposed to the Billy onscreen.

And again, I understand why people depict his experiences that way. I’m not trying to be an asshole, just speaking to my personal experiences. But I’d like to see a little more truth in television, so to speak, about his abuse.

If you’re interested in writing more realistic abusive characters, a book I can’t recommend enough is Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That, a book written by a therapist who’s made a career of treating both abusers in the hopes of making them no longer abusers as well as domestic violence victims. It’s a difficult read, and intended as a self-help book for domestic violence survivors, but it digs deep into why exactly abusers act the way they do. It’s often available as a free pdf online - I’ve seen several links floating around on tumblr.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Pirate au Redone (Part 4)

N/A: I think I´ll have to make a bonus part of this au later. This was a challenge to do and I hope I got it right.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

The ship has the name " Sesame" in big letter and font very eye-appealing and one lonely woman is watching the sky- seeing the birds flying by near the ship/yacht completely oblivious to the inner turmoil she carries in regards her new life- and the contemplation only stops when the Captain of the ship sits next to her offering her a drink-nothing alcoholic as she promised with a mischievous smile and a wink- and replies. "How life is treating so far, Kwannon?" and the Japanese woman has to pound this question for a minute or two.

"Captain Pryde" she humors the other woman even if she knows that pirates, well, real pirates, don´t have a yacht or aren´t so heroic as she´s lead to believe. "I have issues with Krakoa but I´m also ...thankfully for that abomination...look" she gestures her own hands and Captain Pryde follows the motion with her eyes calmly. "I´ve my body back...I´m not dead nor in some white woman´s body. I´m me again and ...this makes me think..." she trails off and Kitty Pryde encourages her to speak freely.

"I was born with nothing, I die with nothing and now I don´t even have the ''nothing'' anymore...Kitty, does God truly exist, or is this all a cosmic joke for him or her?" Kwannon question plug´s Kitty heart and she can remember a certain mutant who aside from loving piracy (among other things) and whose faith was something Kitty and him could talk freely-even through both have different religions it was also covered with a deeper respect for each other- and Kitty only answeres "I believe there is a God or even Gods...but, trying to understand them is a null point"

Kwannon nods but doesn´t seem to be a topic well- answered for her, yet, she´s gracious enough to change the topic. " You think we can trust her...of all people?" and Kitty narrow her eyes.

"Are you going to call her the pretender?"

"No...I´m just unsure of what to feel about her"

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Getting the title of the sorceress supreme from Dr. Strange is not something that will give any dark pleasure- Dr. Strange was a friend, if nothing else, and while his taste for women can be questionable at best, there´s no real pleasure in getting his tittle now- and Wanda Maximoff donning herself with the famous crimson cape is in agreement with its new master.

Tommy and Billy are working with her-Billy return from the space to learn his "twin" not only is working in a magic school but has some small traces of magic, and Billy, only respond by hugging his twin until the other threats to curse him for all eternity- and her magic school is now a real vision(sometimes, Wanda chuckles at this word. Sometimes, Wanda cries) with demons kids from Limbo and other parts of the globe or planes wanting safe heaven to learn magic.

The X-men used to be like that...or am I wrong?

The Sesame´s flag is in view and Wanda shakes her nostalgia away ("let the past in the past, Wanda") and is there watching as Captain Pryde is present and the one who is making an effort to go talk with Wanda-the rest of the crew looks unsure, she de-powered them not too long ago and not everyone is forgiving nor forgiving means friendship- and the two woman are now facing each other.

"You really are here..." Wanda´s tone is laced with surprise as she watches the yacht on the port and back to the captain. "Afraid of me?" she asked still impressed.

"I´m really here...Am I afraid of you? No, not really Wanda...Yet, I can´t ignore M day, I´d not blame you...in the full extension the others do...you were out of your mind and others try to take advantage...still, I won´t call you the pretender or any shit like that" Kitty responds with honest and while she´s never one to use swear words- and is something Terry Pryde installed on her since a young age- she feels this is an appropriate moment to use it.

Wanda only nods at her words. It is much better than she was expecting or hoping for. "Do you really want to do this? Krakoa isn´t supposed to be a paradise to all mutants?" 

"The paradise is more for horror island than anything else...and while I think Utopia is still a pretentious name...is better than a cult on an alive island...Can you help us, Scarlet Witch?" Kitty asked sincerely now. Nothing is bounding Scarlet Witch to do this task.

Wanda closes her eyes and opens with now crimson. "I´m Scarlet Witch for a reason...and I´m sorry...for what the Avengers did"

"Apologies from them mean next to nothing"

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt Wagner noticed the absence of Logan, Scott, Jean, and even Ororo and is surrounded by people who in the past-and, not a too long past- were his enemies. Looking at Apocalypse gazing at him with wraith in his eyes mixed with envy does make his stomach rumble. Prof X is speaking and to be frankly, Kurt is not interested in listening any more.

"This is a cult!" Kurt shouts ignoring Raven´s look- the woman may have given birth to him, but, she´s far from being a mother in any sense- and looks in disgust to the villains on the quiet council. "There´s only villains here. What type of paradise is this?"

And Prof X put an uncanny smile on his face-still wearing that helmet and Magneto is close by. As always- as he speaks in a leery way. "And that wouldn´t make you a villain as well? I know...I know what you did in some other universes. Nate may have used you as an avatar to live his wet dream, but, in other realities, you make you with a woman in front of your dead daughter´s cold corpse" and show the image to Kurt who denies this as being a trick.

"I´m not a monster. I´m not like this. I´m Kurt Wagner...and I refuse to be on this island" and tries to attack Prof X and is only meet with vines wrapped around his waist.

"Do you miss Kitty Pryde that much or are you just lonely?" Prof X sounds different now. "Because...I never thought you´re worth her time" and his golden eyes watch as each member on the clan is nothing more but vines. And Krakoa has made her decision to reject Kurt.

Sesame managed to fish Kurt Wagner with a bit help of luck- Kurt opens his golden eyes to see Kitty Pryde staring at him with a myriad of expressions. Concern is one of them- and Kurt breaks down crying as Kitty only hugs him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Doug Ramsey is not one to think of himself as a James Bond type of spy or archetype, yet, Captain Britain aka Betsy counts on him and Doug wants to do something, anything to help his fellow mutants. Doug uses his power unashamed and telepathically calls Betsy.

"We have to take as many mutants we can..." his eyes are watching the scene incredulous. "That story of Dr. Moira being a mutant? Well...is fake as much everything else in this island" and the call ends with Doug looking at the clones of every single X-men and the versions of Dr. Moira...It has the words written "the last clone" and it sends a shiver to his spine as the clone opens her eyes and speaks one line.

"I´m a mutant, just like you" and the others continue to do so.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Queen Lilandra is looking at the New Mutants with a stoic expression enrobing her face and body language as well- The X-men aren´t enemies, per se, but aren´t allies and Queen Lilandra has a daughter she wants to prevent the X-men to ever meet- and Karma is the one to break the silence again.

"Where is Pheonix?"

"What do you mean? Pheonix has never left Earth...."

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Captain Britan and the Neo Excalibur are working to smuggle as many mutants they can from Krakoa- Doug can only calm the island for so long as he repeats his words to Neo Excalibur-and Rogue and Remy are running from the time. "Are they the real thing or ..." Rogue will later wonder if she jinxed this rescue mission as a good part of the mutants rescued...turned into green goo.

And Betsy takes a whiff in the air and screams. "Fire!" and Neo Excalibur runs away in their ship as Rogue can swear the shape of the fire is similar to...

No...it can´t be...

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Madeline Pryor concludes her tale many days ago, yet, still feels as if is lingering on Scott and Jean´s mind and Jean is the one not taking the news well-the resistance against Krakoa is ever surprised to see Jean and Madeline in a semi civil way- as the New Mutants confirm Madeline´s tale and everything else.

"So...this is all because I´m a bad mother?" Jean asked almost laughing -not a joyful one, rather one devoid of any positive emotion- and Madeline is not taking pity on Jean.

"Is a way to see things...Look, I´m not the greatest example either...Nate became a monster" Madeline´s expression softened a little. She can feel sorry for Meggan if nothing else-she, among all the members of the resistance, can understand how cruel truly is when someone takes your ability to do anything for their own gain- and she continues not bothering to look at Jean. "You thought Nate as your own and ignored your own daughter...yet, Scott is the only one who seems to still remember her"

Jean says nothing as she watches Scott and Kitty talk -whatever is about Utopia or how to deal with Krakoa is not important right now- and she wonders why she never bothers to check on Rachel Grey.

Thanks to Scarlet Witch, Utopia is back and unlike Krakoa there´s a chance of organic change into a real country-Emma Frost is taking diplomacy like a fish to the water and all the surviving mutants have no more complaints in regards Scarlet Witch, at least, it appears so- and Captain Pryde looks at Nightcrawler who looks still befuddled by everything, yet, refuses to leave Kitty behind.

If Pheonix wants a fight...she´ll get one...but if Rachel wants revenge...can I give this to her?

[noel-byers]

What monsters do you fight? || chapter O2

Chapter O1 • Chapter O2 • Chapter O3

Words: 1650

N/A: the girl in the gif with Noel is Melissa

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If there was a place where surely a girl was hiding to cry she was definitely under the terraces of the garden, where they usually played rugby matches. In fact, she was under the seat, with her knees on her chest and her shoulders clutching her bent head. I could hear his sobs and his breath trying to stifle his noisy cry. I slowly approached her and seeing that she still hadn't noticed my presence, I coughed putting both hands in my pockets. Melissa looked up and only then could I see her swollen and red eyes. That piece of shit had reduced it to a rag with a few but sharp words. "Cigarette?" I asked, taking the named item out of a pocket of my jeans.

"I...I don't smoke" she said, sniffling. Ah man that sucks the mucus.

"Better this way" I replied with a shrug. "You will ruin only your breath and your lungs. Smoke isn’t cool kid, unless you want to destroy yourself. Which is really cool” I said with a little irony as I tried to light my beloved cigarette.

A few moments passed in silence until Melissa said lightly to me "Did you see it all?"

"Yep" I replied immediately taking out a cloud of smoke from my lips "You don't have to fear anything, you won't lack respect next time" I said capturing the blonde's attention "It's an insult to the male gender to take it out on a woman when it's ten against one” I continued shaking my head.

"But he had all the reasons in the world, in short, look at me...I'm like all the girls...I thought to impress the bad boy of the school and take his best part out of him...but I just deluded myself" the girl explained, sniffing again.

"Listen to me, Melissa, first of all take my flannel shirt and blow that nose...my heart is crying to sacrifice my favorite dress but I don't have handkerchiefs, so blow your nose before I change my mind" I said handing her my shirt, which she immediately grabbed looking at me, puzzled but not refusing my order.

"You're really weird, ehm..." he stopped, looking into my eyes and making me realize that I hadn't introduced myself yet. I put the cigarette between my lips again and brought my hand closer to shake her in education.

"Noel, Noel Byers" she raised an eyebrow.

"Melissa Danielsen, as you will already know. Are you the sister of the missing child?"

"I would prefer you to call him Will, I'm sick of people cataloging him as a poor outcast" he said pulling up a heavy sigh "Going back to us, I know how you feel now, you'll surely be wondering what made you sell your virginity to that asshole of Billy Hargrove, and many other things that surely do not positively depict your person" Melissa nodded silently “Stop being so hard on yourself, you are young and in fact we are both young and in this adolescence we make so many mistakes" my cigarette, making her realize that as far as I was an employee I hated being under a stupid habit.

"The truth is that in the coming days people will stare at you, laugh at you and make you jokes of bad taste, and you don't have time to cry, you have to be strong, you have to growl and let the comments slip away that are not worth it to listen. Probably the same girls that Billy uses as a sex toy will tease you, but you don't listen to them, i mean, you know which pulpit the sermon comes from" I explained, sucking up some tobacco.

"Not forgetting that I will no longer have friends on my side..." Melissa commented disconsolately.

"And who the fuck am I? Santa Claus?" I asked slightly strangely "I almost blew the head of Billy Hargrove for you and probably because I'm a bit feminist. But first of all I did it for you” I concluded with a shrug.

"Thank you..." she replied with a small smile.

"And then, as strange as it may seem, I have a couple of friends too, and they certainly think like me" I continued to cheer her up letting an almost maternal smile show on my mouth "But now you raise your blonde ass, let's go to the bathroom to rinse your face, you blow your nose with real handkerchiefs and I'll walk you home, huh?” I suggested standing up with a jerk and pulling Melissa by the arm in a playful way, urging her to follow me and she choked and consented.

"All right, as long as you wash your mouth a little, hell, you smell obscene tobacco"

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By evening he had fallen on Hawkings and tonight we strangely breathed less heavy air in my house. It was probably because Bob had come to visit us. He and my mother had been dating for a couple of months and...God, I never saw my mother so happy. Seeing her joking, hugging and kissing with one who finally didn't mistreat her made me feel at peace with myself. Slowly my family was re-emerging from that dark and distressing oblivion, I felt that if they were still passing by a couple of months surely my family could have been called as such.

"What are your plans for the evening? Will you watch a movie?" I asked as I made my entrance into the kitchen, tying my hair into something not too high, Bob turned around and his camera automatically picked me up.

"You choose the boys the movie is evening. Do you, ma'am, have an appointment?" The man asked playfully, infecting me with his good humor.

"Tempting, but not. My shift starts at 8:20 pm and if I don't leave the house in ten minutes, I'll pay back my salary” I explained with a shrug “The only plus is the free hot dogs" I admitted attracting my mother's attention.

"Noel don't eat too many, do you remember that on Jonathan's birthday last year you had a colic and -"

"MUM! I don't want you to make a short film about my intestinal problems while Bob is back! "I answered, turning my face flushed as I ran away with my tail between my legs in my room, looking for my shoes.

I went through WIll's room and my attention was caught by his sudden raising of his voice.

"Stop treating me like that! Like I'm about to break. So don't you help me, just make me feel weirder" my exasperated younger brother said, it was obvious he was arguing with Jonathan.

It was difficult to take someone's part in these situations, I knew how Will could feel right now, he was scared and had suffered multiple traumas, including that of an apparent death. On the other hand, I also understood Jonathan, because it was also my own position, like that of anyone who wanted to help Will. To console some or give him moral support was like wandering in a minefield, you never knew if you could touch some sore point.

I remembered when I decided to sleep together with Will the night made me feel better, I knew that I could protect him, but now that he's growing up and kindly asked me to let him sleep alone, I realize how much my "safety" thought travels one way. As far as I could have been next to Will, there was nothing I could do to keep him from thinking about his mind, he was a demon that only Will could have fought.

"You're not weird" Jonathan said

"Yes I am, I am" replied our younger brother dryly. I looked at the figure of Jonathan who was about to give up, but then he came out with a sentence:

"You're right, you're weird" both my younger brother and I raised both eyebrows. "So why should you become normal like the others? Being weird is better, I'm weird. Our sister who has been staring at us for half an hour is weird” he said pointing to me.

"Hey nerd go easy" I said in an ironic tone, approaching Will's bed and occasionally pulled an ear to my big brother in a playful way.

"Is that why you have no friends?" Our little brother asked disconsolately.

"We have friends, and weird friends are the best. You don't need to have a hundred to feel cool, a couple is enough, because you know that you will remain faithful forever. And then we are creative, sensitive and original, in short, the best on the market" I explained to Will to encourage him, infuse he also had it, but it was obvious that in those dark moments the positives were difficult to see them.

"Then why are you always with me?"

"Because you are our best friend!" Jonathan immediately replied "And we prefer to be friends of Zombie Boy than of a trivial nullity. Do you understand me? In short, who would you like to be friends with? About Bowie or Rogers?" At that point Will almost shivered and shook his head with an amused smile.

"What Jonny wants to say is that normal people never do anything important in life, as Kierkegaard says, they are locked in their 4x4 box with a family and a job, thus continuing until the end of their days..."

"Oh my God the nerd has come, Will stuck your ears!" Jonathan said jokingly, pushing Will away, who had begun to show signs of little laughter.

"Come on idiots, it's important! In summary, it is always the people outside the lines who make the revolution and enjoy their lives properly" I explained hiding a laugh and pulling a small snort.

"What about Kenny Rogers?" Will asked ironically.

"Kenny Rogers? Oh I love Kenny Rogers!” Bob said suddenly, coming out of the corridor and suddenly I remembered that I was being late for work.

"Fuck! I love you guys, please, be good" I said, running off down the corridor.

"NOEL YOU ARE LEAVING WITHOUT SHOES" my mother shouted.

"Fuck the shoes!" I yelled back, turning back.

T O   B E   C O N T I N U E D . . .

⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉⑆⑇⑈⑉

N/A: Hello everyone! This is a passing chapter, but it also seems right to give some space to noel and her character before making her interact with Billy. Thank you all for your support, you make me really happy. If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, please leave a comment and tell me what you think of the story, if you like 🌸🌺

Tag list:

@xxemoluverxx @sledgy14 @ellenna 

[neonponders]

💗🍑✨

Watered my plants today so here’s a drabble: ftm!Steve and gardener!Billy

Read on ao3 ~

Mrs. H wants a rose garden. They actually used to have roses in the flower beds in front of the house, but life got in the way and they were replaced with plants that could handle themselves, for the most part.

Thing is, Steve loves flowers. He stopped letting himself indulge in them because it was hard enough being “man enough,” but his friendship with Robin (and saving the world a few times) puts things into a new perspective.

He deserves to pursue his interests. And goodness knows, anything other people have tried to push on him haven’t worked apart from always make him looking like a fool.

So he gets a bunch of roses in little green “trainer” pots and gets to work during one of the last winter days where it’s cold in the air but hot under the sun. Steve plants peppermint (red and white striped) roses in the front flower beds, and red ones around one side of the pool; the side of the yard that slopes down and around to the front of the house, so the right angle from the street can see them. He even gets a fine mulch to blanket the new beds and goes to the quarry for free rocks to frame it all in.

Then a gardener shows up. His mom hired a freaking gardener.

Admittedly, Steve could have reacted better than, “Who the hell are you?”

But also, who arrives on their first day of work and says, “Wrong mulch, pretty boy.”

Steve had climbed out of the rose bed and faced the young and muscular guy, who blinked and his face flickered with something that Steve had seen dozens of times. The uncertainty between Steve’s height and his mother’s eyes and cheekbones. The movement of eyes analyzing the width of his shoulders and hips between a waistline he had worked damn hard on to be rectangular instead of hour-glass shaped.

“What’s wrong with the mulch?” Steve bit out as he planted his hands on his hips. He couldn’t say why he had the habit; some traumatized mixture of hiding his hips and making him look wider. Stronger. Deserving of the space he held.

“There was a recall from that brand. A whole vat of pesticide fell into it. It’s too toxic for flowering or fruiting plants.”

Steve could hear Robin’s voice in his head. If a man explains something to me one more time, I’m going to start frothing at the mouth.

God, Steve loved her. She helped him see all the micro-aggressions men did to him because they mentally catalogued Steve as the wrong gender. It helped him realize how bad he was at reading people and why he’d made the wrong “friends” up until now.

“How was I supposed to know that?” he retorted grumpily.

The gardener - with his stupid face already golden in the winter, and a stupid curl falling over his forehead like he styled it for landscaping or something - smiled. “Get a rake, peach. We’ll replace it by lunchtime.”

Peach? Steve fumed.

So...yeah. Not the best start.

Even worse, this guy named Billy really fed into the pet name. Greeted him with, “Hey, peaches,” all the time, and went inside to use the bathroom only to bring out sliced peaches and yogurt.

“It’s finally getting hot out. Sugar’s good for you.”

Steve hated him. He hated him for calling him Peach, and he hated him for putting salt on his fruit ever since Steve stomped inside and corrected the stupid snack the way he liked it.

And then Steve’s own red rose bloomed. He despised the irony but there it was. Robin helped him despise it less and less. Her own tactics for dealing with cramps, food cravings, and headaches really saved him; and just having the company made him feel less like a fish in the wrong ocean.

It came early, though, and it was a doozy.

Steve and Billy were only weeding the beds with occasional pruning of the branches, but eventually Steve just had to lie down. He’d started bleeding that morning, but in less than twenty minutes his abdomen was swollen and he felt the cramps all the way down his inner thighs to his feet.

The grass was cool underneath his cheek. Being horizontal helped the headache but not everything else -

“Hey, Peach. Sit up a little. I got you something.”

“Fluff off.”

Billy...didn’t laugh. Steve heard him huff through his nose and drape a towel or something over him before setting something on the grass. “Don’t knock it over.”

Steve opened his eyes and saw a glass of water and a glorious little pill on a toilet paper square. Steve gulped it down as fast as he could and settled once more...underneath Billy’s jacket. He supposed it was still a little cold in the morning shade.

When he could, he folded the jacket and set it on the poolside concrete before going inside to get himself more water, a little coffee, and to, you know, check -

He’d bled through his jeans.

Like the weight of water crashing over his head, Steve wilted in the bathroom. It wasn’t a big stain, but Billy had to know, right? Steve tried to remember where exactly he’d placed his jacket on top of Steve. Was it to keep him warm, higher up on his shoulder? Or lower, to give him the courtesy of privacy?

Steve wasn’t a coward. And he sure as hell wasn’t going another day with this gardener treating him like-like...

Like what?

Robin would skin him alive for not wanting to be treated like a girl. What does that even mean, Steve? Treated with respect? Treated like a person? What does it mean to be treated like a man, then? Who is devalued here? 

Steve sighed and yanked on fresh underwear and jeans. Why was gender so hard? He knew he was Steve, and Robin liked to tell him he over-simplified things - which was a hell of a nicer way of saying he shined less than other bulbs - but he couldn’t deal with the wondering or the tip-toeing around this incredibly masculine and pretty and annoying gardener.

Billy was down the slope in the side-yard. Steve didn’t know why he was planting a sapling, of all things. His mother never said anything about wanting a tree, but he ignored that and barked, “I need to talk to you.”

“I’m listening,” he said without turning around. Steve fumed as soil got patted down around the base of the tree.

“We need to talk about my – me. We need to talk about me.”

“Are you feeling better?” Billy stood and went to the wheelbarrow of mulch.

This was too frustrating. Steve came right out with. “Do you know? Like – because my name is Steve. But I’m not sure you get it – ”

“I get it. Steve.”

Billy finally looked at him and used the shears from his belt to clip off the large tag fluttering on the branch of the tree. “It’s you who doesn’t get it.”

He pushed the tag against the front of Steve’s shirt. The latter now had a prop to syphon his frustration into. He waved the tag around as he exploded, “What do you – You don’t get to know me better than – ”

“Romance really flies right by you.”

And.

Well.

Whatever lake or ocean Steve flailed in, he sure gaped out of water now.

Billy stepped up to him, making Steve shut his trap and swallow a wet sound. He purred in between them, “This is the part where you read the tag.”

Steve really hated being a slower reader. He felt like every second was a month as he read the tag, and then flipped it over…

Peach trees have had romantic significance in many cultures for centuries. In mythology, Paris of Troy granted a golden peach to Aphrodite in competition with Hera and Athena, thereby crowning her the most beautiful. In return, Aphrodite promised him the most beautiful person in the world, Helen of Sparta.

Their fruit symbolizes unrivaled happiness, as nothing compares to the taste of a peach. In the language of flowers, peach blossoms have come to mean infatuation, or captured love.

Steve blinked at that for a long second and then found an extremely convenient little info-graphic that his brain absorbed more easily:

Peach: your qualities and charms are unequaled.

Blossoms: I am your captive.

“Um,” he fumbled, because his brain was dangerously close to asking, Are you Paris or Helen in this?

“I’ve seen how you look at me.”

Steve’s head jerked up. “No you haven’t!”

Billy, that bastard, grinned. “Yes, I have. I know you like me. You wouldn’t be so mean to me otherwise.”

“I’m mean because you deserve it,” Steve growled, but he wasn’t doing well at putting distance between them. Good god, the man had freckles on his nose and cheeks.

Billy pinched the front of Steve’s shirt. “I know what else I deserve,” and pulled a light little moan out of Steve when he captured his lips.

Billy’s lips were soft, and his hand was a little sweaty where it came to hold the side of Steve’s neck and jaw. Steve couldn’t help but say against Billy’s breath, “You don’t mind?”

“ ‘Course I don’t mind,” Billy murmured almost angrily. “It’s not the 1880s.”

“You just relied on a plant to tell me you like me. That’s pretty sappy-Victorian-show-trope to me.”

“I had to get creative. You’re already surrounded by roses every time I see you.”

Steve giggled breathily in the little space between them. Something in his body moved like a trapeze artist when the pink tip of Billy’s tongue moved inside his mouth, from one side of his bottom lip to the other.

“Roses? Too old school for me,” Steve teased.

“Good. Any more old school and it’d be awkward for me to keep doing this.”

Steve may or may not have gotten sunburnt from kissing too long.

Billy somehow found peach-scented sunscreen.

Steve also may or may not have thrown the bottle at him.

[brendanmoviedate]

Yer fond of me lobster ain’t ye?

Another year, another broken promise that I’d write more often. I’m not going to fool myself going forward and expect I’ll be able to keep up with reviewing every movie I see. However, I’ll continue to write my year-end movie review and perhaps a couple here and there when I feel inspired. 

Looking back to last year’s post, I wouldn’t make too many changes, though I would certainly move Into the Spider-verse slightly higher up. I would also consider adding Upgrade to the list for how brazen it is.

Most of the films I called out as ones to watch for 2019 ended up being either on my list or in the composite image, which goes to show that it’s worth getting excited for new films more often than not.

Vancouver being the way that it is, sometimes we don’t get timely releases of films when other cities do. As a result, I haven’t had a chance to see 1917 and Uncut Gems yet. The latter of which I’ve been dying to see for months and would probably feature on this list. 

Here’s the 10 best films I’ve seen from 2019:

10. John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum

Whereas John Wick: Chapter 2 was the perfect escalation of its pared down predecessor, Chapter 3 is merely an excellent continuation of the newly minted franchise. However, while not bringing anything entirely new to the world of John Wick, it is still an intensely entertaining film. The first 20 minutes is some of the best fight choreography in the series to date and enough to secure a spot on this list.

9. Long Day’s Journey into Night

From director Bi Gan, Long Day’s Journey into Night is a noirish drama about a man (Huang Jue) returning to his hometown following the death of his father to track down his lost love (Tang Wei). The film is a slow burn that jumps between past and present before descending into a surreal 60 minute single take shot filmed in 3D. Regretfully, the only screening I could attend was entirely 2D, but nonetheless, the sequence was still enthralling. This is the type of film that proves that spectacle doesn’t necessarily need to be tied to tentpole movies.

8.  Booksmart

Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut suggests she has an effortless understanding of comedy. Written by a quartet of female writers, Booksmart feels like Superbad for a new generation (I can’t believe that film came out 12 years ago). Interestingly, Jonah Hill’s sister, Beanie Feldstein stars, alongside Kaitlyn Dever (daughter of the guy that voiced Barney the Purple Dinosaur). While it would be easy to say it’s “the female Superbad,” Booksmart is in fact much more than that. Replacing the misfits trying to get laid story with one about a pair of overachievers realizing almost too late that there’s more to life than good grades lets the film be looser and allows the comedy to happen more naturally. 

7. Midsommar

Ari Aster’s follow-up to 2018′s Hereditary began filming almost immediately after wrapping post-production on his previous film. As a result, Midsommar has that extra layer of a director exhausting himself by putting everything on the screen. Midsommar is a much more mature work than Hereditary and one that took a while to grow on me. My initial reaction was less enthusiastic than it is now, but it’s one of the films from 2019 that has stuck with me the most. I imagine a second watch or the extended director’s cut might raise my appreciation of it even more. 

Florence Pugh gives a knockout performance that when combined with her roles in Little Women and last year’s Little Drummer Girl prove that she’ll be a star in no time.

6. Knives Out

Rian Johnson’s first post-Star Wars film sees him reinvigorated and working with a bigger name cast than he has in the past. Essentially a whodunnit along the lines of Agatha Christie, Knives Out follows Daniel Craig’s southern-fried detective Benoit Blanc as he investigates the murder of a wealthy publisher (Christopher Plummer). In addition to playing with a few plot twists, Johnson includes a couple of structure twists as well that turn the film on its head. 

In addition to Craig’s hammy performance, other standouts include Ana de Armas and Chris Evans as the publisher’s caregiver and grandson, respectively. 

Johnson has hinted at the possibility of more Benoit Blanc mysteries, and as long as Daniel Craig is onboard, I’ll gladly watch them.

5. The Lighthouse

In Robert Eggers’ followup to The Witch, Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson play a pair of lighthouse keepers in isolation. As would be expected, The Lighthouse is a paranoia-fuelled chamber piece, with Dafoe’s gruff experienced lighthouse keeper getting on the nerves of the younger Pattinson. And while this setup allows the two leads a chance to really dig into the 19th century dialects, the film takes the occasional departure into the eldritch for a very unsettling film. 

As with Black Philip in The Witch, there’s a standout animal character in The Lighthouse - fittingly, a seagull.

4. Once Upon a Time ...in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino’s presumably penultimate film is perhaps his most mature work, ruminating on the idea of legacy and the film industry as a whole. Once Upon a Time ...in Hollywood is almost a Tarantino hangout movie reminiscent of parts of Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction. A lot of time is spent on scenes that don’t necessarily lead to the film’s climax, but allow the characters room to breathe and feel real. Other than the historical event hinted at throughout the movie, the film doesn’t seem to have a particular direction, which allows you to live in the lives of these characters more than if it was purely plot driven.

The main cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Margo Robbie is great, but it’s Pitt who puts in a career best performance. There’s a quietness and a sadness to his character that brings some added depth to an otherwise bold cast.

3. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt’s other great performance this year is in James Gray’s Ad Astra. Having seen Gray’s The Lost City of Z and purposefully avoiding trailers and reviews, my expectation for this film was a reflective voyage centred around the ideas of obsession, loss, and family. All of these ideas were present in Ad Astra, but the real surprise was how seamlessly a space opera was added into the story. I never thought I’d see a lunar shuttle chase, but I’m glad I did.

The amount of casual sci-fi world building in the film is staggering, with entire premises treated as banal. We get to see Pitt’s Clifford McBride travel from Earth to the Moon mundanely on a commercial flight. Most films would take the opportunity to spoon feed to the audience why this is odd, but Ad Astra treats it as normal as the characters do, making it all the more fascinating.

2. The Farewell

Starring Awkwafina, who has quickly shot to stardom after featuring in Crazy Rich Asians, The Farewell gives the actress the chance to stretch her dramatic muscles playing Billi, who returns to China to visit with her grandmother who has cancer. Billi’s family insists on keeping the grandmother’s illness a secret from her so she can live out her life in happiness, while Billi struggles with the morals of lying to her grandmother. This premise allows for not only the comedy of misunderstanding, a staple in comedy, but also emotional tension and the devastation of preparing to send off a loved one. 

The comedy-drama balance is handled expertly by director Lulu Wang, making The Farewell the movie I both cried at and laughed at the most this year.

1. Parasite

Had you told me a couple of months ago that my picking Parasite as the best movie of the year could be considered a safe choice, I would have scoffed. Yet here we are, and Parasite has widely been hailed as the best film of the year. I suppose in hindsight it’s not hard to see why. It’s both a crowd-pleasing film and a film that’s deeply disturbing and thrilling.

After having seen Bong Joon-ho’s last five movies, one would be forgiven for expecting a linearity in Parasite. Most of his films tend to have a point A to point B element with an expected (though often subverted) outcome. Heck, Snowpiercer is about a group of people moving from the back of the train to the front, one car at a time. Yet Parasite is different. The film sets up a premise you only find out about as it happens and is quickly overturned once you’re comfortable with it.

I saw this movie the same day I saw Joker and the difference in how the subject matter of class is treated is stark. Whereas Joker wanted to go all dark and Taxi Driver with the theme, Parasite had fun with it and let the elements of drama, comedy, and horror slide along the theme of class.

Like Bong’s Memories of Murder, Parasite will be one of those films I endlessly revisit.

Honourable Mentions

Films that almost cracked the Top 10 that I wanted to shout out here are Us and Doctor Sleep for being really solid, exciting, horror-thrillers. As well as The Irishman for being a classic Scorcese film that gives De Niro and Pacino ample time to with each other. Finally, I wanted to applaud Avengers: Endgame for not only managing to pull off such an ambitious finale, but to make it so goddamned fun.

2020

This year I’m looking forward to new blockbusters from two of my favourite directors, Christoper Nolan and Denis Villeneuve - Tenet and Dune, respectively. 

Despite the stumble with Spectre, I’m extremely excited for Daniel Craig’s last outing as Bond with No Time to Die, by auteur Cary Fukunaga. I can’t wait to see how his style meshes with the Bond template. 

Also of great interest are the new films from David Fincher and Edgar Wright - Mank and Last Night in Soho.

[bucky-iss-bae]

Little Miss CEO - (Billy Russo x Reader) - Part 2

Part 2 of Little Miss CEO - Hope you all enjoy as I said my writing needs a hella lot of improvement. I am reading it as I’m posting it but my eyes keep missing mistakes and I know the story already, but please tell me any feedback x 

Fandom: Marvels The Punisher

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 4000 ish (Sorry) 

Warnings: Swearing, cheating is mentioned, betrayal is mentioned, mentions of his scars x 

Summary: Billy and Y/N get set up by their friends, but they clash heads more than they get on. He thinks she’s a gold digger bitch and she thinks he’s Mr Obnoxious, are either of them, everyone else thinks that they’re too stubborn for their own good and probably get on.

A/N: Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is welcome x

Masterlist 

Little Miss CEO - Part One    

Little Miss CEO - Part Two 

“Sorry about Friday night,” Karen said to me on Sunday, both of us sat there with Wine and blankets, I had a long weekend at work, and have a long week ahead of me at work. Today I’ve stayed away from it all, but it won’t be the same for tomorrow.

“It was nothing. A warning would’ve been nice. But nothing that I couldn’t handle”

“Did... what did you think when he said where he works”

“Honestly. It just connected a few pieces. I didn’t have an opinion of him, but he gave himself his own rep so I don’t really care, why would I care?”

“He is nice. Just when you get used to his arrogance or know how to handle him”

I snorted, “Don’t plan on seeing the nice side of him anytime soon then”

“How was work yesterday?” she asked changing the subject.

I nodded, “It was good. Really good. Got a lot of big clients a lot of changes have been happening, just expanding really”

She smiled, “That’s good then. I’ve been trying to chase a few news stories. Small ones though. For the moment until there’s something radical that needs happening”

I laughed at that comment, “Wow, let's go cause some hell in New York City huh?”

“We’ll leave that to Frank yeah”

I smiled and shook my head, “So the dickhead from Friday is his best friend?”

“Yeah, they are. But I mean he is your type” She shrugged like it was nothing.  

I grimaced, “His personality is a bit of a turn-off. I mean everything else sure. His beard, fashion sense, he’s pretty attractive, it only takes someone so far though right?”

“So you’re not affected by his scars?” She asked.

I shook my head, “Should I be? You’ve seen my family, the guys I work with”

“Since that happened he’s had more insecurities. That’s why he’s got such high walls built around him”

“Makes sense. He treats you nicely though right?”

“Yeah, one hundred percent. He’s honestly so nice Y/N. I mean I think you two would be cute”

I nodded, “I also think I’d find a few matches on Tinder. Or better yet I’ll find a good match when I’m ready?” I suggested.

“Alright. I won’t say anything” She said sipping on her wine.

I thanked her and we carried on gossiping. I just hope I won’t be supporting a hangover tomorrow morning considering I’ve got to be up for 5am.

5am came and went. I had tonnes of paperwork to be doing in the office. Had different classes. Considering my experience and my teams experience we had a wide range of clients going from professional athletes to those who are willing to pay good money to get into shape. And let me tell you my results since day one have been phenomenal. As has every member of my team.

But another thing that involves a lot of paperwork is when other companies want to work alongside me, either sending their workers in and training them up. Or potential mergers, or just to help businesses grow.

“Miss Y/L/N you have a meeting today with the CEO of a security firm coming in at 1pm.”  My secretary said walking into my office, my office is actually really nice, you wouldn’t expect this building to be a gym, you wouldn’t expect this office to be someone’s office who initially started as a personal trainer.

“I’ve got it scheduled in. He hasn’t said much about who he is or what company he runs, I’m sure he’ll have a hell of a pitch though, all suits do”

She smiled, “I’ll call you when he’s here and send him in”

“Thanks hun” I smiled at her. I had showered from all my sessions this morning, got changed into some more, professional attire. My work was all organised now it’s a matter of getting on top of it.

“Miss Y/L/N, we’ve got Mr. Russo here from Anvil security here for you”

My eyes widened and I paused what I was doing, I looked up at her and tried my best to compose myself, she hadn’t completely opened the door, so shit I’ve got to compose myself and let him suffer.

“Bring him in,” I told her.

She bought him in and he thanked her with a charming smile and declined her offer of a drink before he turned around and faced me.

“You.” He said with a scowl forming fast on his face.

“Afternoon Mr Russo” I smiled at him whilst motioning towards the chair opposite me, “How can I help you today?”

“you didn’t say anything about running this place”

“No I was too busy being a gold digger” I shrugged,

“Shit” He grumbled whilst leaning his head back and running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it” He grumbled,

“You apologising because you’re realising I’m a potential client?” I asked him.

He stuttered a bit before answering, “Damn, you know you don’t have to be so upfront about it”

“I do though. I like to know what my client's motives are. I mean I know you’re an arrogant prick. But hey who knows you might change my mind”

“Will I though? You seem like someone pretty set in your ways”

“No... I mean as soon as I see someone’s true colours or what they can really get like I know that everything else I need to take with a pinch of salt. Until they convince me otherwise of course”

“So this. Right now is me convincing you otherwise?”

“We’ve been here for a minute, and you’ve already acted differently than you did in the space of two and a half hours”

“Well, this isn’t a set up first of all. I actually knew I had a meeting with someone I don’t know. But turns out I actually to briefly know you, let’s not forget, I fit your criteria of what you look for in a man. Maybe I can charm you and make you forget about Friday night?” He managed to turn into a smooth talker pretty quickly within the last couple of minutes.

I snorted at that, “See, the physicality’s of my type may have been pointed out. But, not the personality, I’m afraid you don’t fit that no matter how much you try to charm me. I mean you’re acting completely different than you did”

“I had a bad day Friday. Drinks were the last thing on my mind”

I nodded, “Alright Russo. You treat me with respect from here on out, business or not. Next time our best friends drag us to drinks. We respect one another. I’ll give you a chance alright”

“It couldn’t have been that easy to convince you”

“Oh no sweetie. You’ve not convinced me of anything just yet. I’m pushing that aside, and I’ll bring it up when I need to unless you make me realise there is a different side to you that isn’t driven through business and money. But instead a genuine side. Having a bad start with someone isn’t good. So we’re starting again. If you disrespect this until we do get to know one another then it’ll make me realise. If we’re good, then we’re good”

“I can see how you and Karen are best friends. Where did you meet?”

“I was one of her first friends when she moved here. How about you and Frank?”

“We met whilst serving. Became brothers, became family”

I nodded, “How about Curtis”

“Similar circuits. The three of us all have similar military pasts” He shrugged, “How did you end up starting this business then? I’ve seen your clients. Your partners, and I’m pretty sure what I know doesn’t begin to tell me what this business is about”

I rose my eyebrows and this is when we started talking business. Getting to know each other’s businesses, but also kind of getting to know one another.

“It looks pretty professional you know. Considering it’s an independent gym”

I smiled and stood up going to the window with him.

“It is professional. It's more than just a gym, it’s a lifestyle, a company to help people. I’m aiming to be the best in my business”

“I can see that. I didn’t realise that you were, or are so successful” He stated side eyeing me.

“So what, me being successful makes me a different person than I was a few nights ago”

“Nah. Seeing someone holding down a business like this, becoming successful on their own, it makes a difference because if someone were to look at you, they wouldn’t see a CEO instead a pretty face, but then you have obviously have a stronger personality that people would be intimidated of, I mean you put me in my place a few days ago” He shrugged,

I snorted, “Well, tell me what a CEO looks like and what I look like”

He smiled, “What do you think? What I also see is someone who isn’t stubborn or cocky like I thought, you’re headstrong. I assumed that you were someone that well you’re not”

I shook my head, “Being a new business, being a female, and being within the fitness industry, I have to be headstrong. I can’t let people walk all over me, what they know about me doesn’t concern me. It’s about what I know what I’m capable of, and the trust my team put in me”

“I can see that. I owe you an apology. I misjudged you. I assumed that you were someone who saw someone in an expensive suit and thought the way some girls do. But then I told you who I am. I probably did overreact but sat here with you today, you’ve not been scared, you’ve treated me with respect. Thank you for not judging me on what you know of my past”

I smiled at him, “Nah. I mean, there’s no reason for me to be scared of you. As much as you might try to be intimidating walking around with your fancy suit. It’s going to take a little to a little more than a few news stories to make me scared, especially if Karen trusts you. I mean you don’t seem as Arrogant as a few nights ago, that’s a good start”

“How about I make up for a few nights ago? This time I’ll pay for drinks?” He asked

I looked across at him with a smile on my face, “Is this what you do huh? Come in, charm me with your business plans and then take me for drinks? Is that your play... or is this still business?”

“Let's say it’s me taking advice off of my boy Frank”

“Uh huh? But I’m playing with you, as long as you pay this time I’m down”

“Thank you by the way. For covering my tab a few days ago”

“I ordered them, I didn’t mind paying for them. But, I was pissed at you and hoped to never see you again”

“That’s too bad for you then yeah?” he asked he a slight smirk on his face and amusement clear in his eyes.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be better company this time. We’ve managed to talk for the last hour”

“Let's be honest now. Business talk is different right?”

“That’s true. So where are we meeting after work then?”  

“The same bar as a few days ago?”

I nodded, “Sure, I’m sure Karen will be over the moon”

He let out a laugh, “Curtis and Frank are the same. After you left a few days ago, they said I would cave. But I mean goddamn, look at you.” He said eyeing me up.

I smiled and looked up at him, “I know I’ve got a pretty amazing body” I said cockily whilst letting out a laugh,

“Whether that was a joke or not on your behalf. I’m in no position to deny the truth”

My jaw dropped, “Ok cool. No this is stopping, so if we’re done, I’ll get my assistant to walk you out. And I’ll see you tonight yeah? And if you’re going to be all suited up again, I’m 100% sure I’ll feel underdressed”

“As long as you’re not in gym wear I’m sure you’ll be fine” he winked, “oh and I’ll get rid of the suit if you really want”

I smiled and he soon left.

I sat at my desk to realise, the same Billy Russo I was slating down, is actually a really bearable guy. I mean he has cocky jokes. He knows he’s good looking but the scars have really knocked his confidence. And I’m sure if I can peel back his personality a little more. Realise he’s not who he was a few nights ago, then I might actually like him and he might actually be my type. And that’s just tragic because it means Karen is right.

**

“So, where did you say you’re going tonight?” Karen asked,

She had a poker face, well aside from her eyes. She looks so excited but her lips were pursed together.

“To the bar. Listen, Karen, don’t. It was business anyway.”

“But he’s not that bad right?”

I nodded, “He’s alright. Doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten what he’s like though”

She sighed a dramatic sigh, “And when you’re both old and grey together, you’ll still be mad at him about that”

I shot her a glare, “Shut up weirdo. I’m not getting old and grey with anyone. Maybe you, that’s about it”

She snorted out a laugh at that, “Uh huh. Anyway, what you wearing for this date?”

“Um. It’s not a date. So anything”

She rolled her eyes but helped me pick out an outfit. It wasn’t over the top. It was going to a bar with a friend... an acquaintance.

I got a cab to the bar and felt so incredibly nervous, the main reason I got a cab because that means I can drink, and drinking means I’ll calm my nerves. I hope. I mean that’s one of two ways.

When I got there I hadn’t seen any sign of him and went to wait at the bar, getting myself a beer to start off with. I waited for about 10 minutes, thinking the dickhead had stood me up. I kept on checking my phone to see if I had gotten any messages off of him.

“Hey,” He said coming up to the other side of me, he wasn’t actually wearing a suit. Instead he wore a sweatshirt with a leather jacket on top. He looked different. Still incredibly good. But different.

“Was starting to think you stood me up, Russo. Thought you wanted to stay on my good side” I smirked.

He grinned, “Got caught up with a few things”

“Was it choosing your outfit. Surprised that you had anything that wasn’t a suit” I grinned

He started to laugh at that, “It was difficult. Finding something to wear. How long have you been here?” He asked changing the subject,

“Not long, about 10-15 minutes.”

“Sorry” He said whilst sitting beside me, “What you drinking?” He asked me, he then ordered himself a drink, and the two of us started talking last week Friday hadn’t happened.

I don’t know why I was nervous at the start. I mean this morning I was fine. But that was business, Friday, I didn’t know him, he was an obnoxious prick. Today. I don’t know if he’s himself, but this seems like the most real side of him.

He was funny, he was nice, and this isn’t a date but we were sat there laughing and getting to know one another. He told me about how longs he’s known Frank, how long he served. Heck he even got as deep as his childhood. And that is some deep stuff. I told him about myself, my family and life and it was nice talking to him. I did get to know him and it was different in comparison to Friday. He wasn’t so strung up.

“I’ve actually really enjoyed tonight,” I told him with a smile, “But then again considering I had Friday to go on, I’m sure nearly anything would’ve been better”

He started to laugh, “you’re not letting that go any time soon are you?”

“Oh hell no. You’ll always be Franks rude friend who made assumptions on someone and then regretted it when you walked into their office”

“Nah, I regretted it when you left. Frank kind of gave me a lecture, told me that you wasn’t like well, that you’re not a hoe, someone who goes after people for their money or their looks. Not like I have much of that left anyway”

I snorted at that, “We both know that you’ve still got your looks alright”

He rose his eyebrows, “Wow, you really think I do huh?”

I shrugged, “I’ve got eyes. Of course, I do. I mean you’ve even lived up to having a good personality today”

He huffed out a laugh and looked around, “Thank you. Call me vain, or conceited, but since all this has happened. I know I’m not as good looking as I one was”

“Maybe then, do you realise its literally a personality that matters.” I reminded him, “Like someone can look the part, they can have a full bank account, but if they have a shit personality then well they’ve got nothing really”

He smiled at that, “Growing up, that was what mattered. You learned to know people for who they really are. I learnt the hard way. But I still learnt.”

“Learning the hard way makes you question everything” I grimaced,

“Why do you say that?” He asked me,

I shrugged, “I’ve always had the perception that most men are only after one thing. That they’re essentially scum. I have my reasons. But still... fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”

“Someone fucked you over?” He asked.

I nodded, “it was years ago, but it makes me question someone's motives, makes me question any friendship I have. You can ask Karen. My ex-best friend and an ex of mine went behind my back. I caught them once, was kind of confused, was easily manipulated, was dumb as fuck, and well, the second time I snapped. Shouldn’t have stayed in contact with either of them. But now, they’re still together, whenever I go back to my old neighbourhood, they’re stuck I guess. They live from paycheck to paycheck. They’re struggling. We still have mutual friends and I hear enough, but it still makes me second guess not only friendships but also relationships. Like how am I going to get fucked over this time, will my best friend go and sleep with my boyfriend and will I be made a joke out of”

He grimaced and looked a little pissed at what I said, “Neither of them deserved you. You should be proud at how far you’ve come”

I nodded, “He didn’t support anything I did. Nor did she really. Called me stupid for having a dream, a few years later, I’m making big bucks, happy with my lifestyle. Happy with the amount of money I’m making happy with what I do. It was literally my dream, and she, I respect what she does but she’s a nurse, works in the same hospital as my sister does.”

“Have you spoken to either of them since well you left?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Kind of. I see them around sometimes. Mutual friends, birthdays, baby showers, weddings. All that shit”

“Damn, all your friends on that part of life huh?”

“Yeah, I mean a lot of them are either childhood sweethearts. Or I don’t know, my lifestyle is different from theirs. I grew up differently to them. My first priority was raising my siblings. So I’ve done what they’ve done just differently”

“Damn, so it’s more like everyone gets on with their own lives?”

I nodded, “I’ve got my main girl. That’s all I need”

“Yeah, that’s Frank and Curtis for me. Sometimes big groups. It doesn’t settle well”

I snorted at that, “Trust me it doesn’t. I mean I told you what happened, all of my friends and his friends knew. I was basically a joke. But this I found out after the second time, then learnt they had all known from the beginning. So that’s tragic, it’s better to keep smaller circles sometimes”

“That’s pretty shit on a trust level. These people were supposed to be your friends but sometimes these things can fuck you up for real”

I nodded, “I’ve grown from it, I’ll say that”

“Your brothers ever fuck him up?” He asked,

“I don’t know. But a few days later. Someone threw a brick into his car, and well really fucked up his car, then another day someone broke into his house, police tried to pin it on me because all of my stuff was missing from there. I didn’t do it by the way, but still they, whoever done that kept scaring him and her for a while until well. I told them to stop and it wasn’t worth it”

“So you know who done all of this?” Billy had a massive smirk on his face, “I give respect to whoever fucked up that guy's place”

I shook my head with a smile of my own, “Honestly I’ve not been in a relationship since. They try to use it against me I guess. But then I drive away in my car that’s worth more than their house so it’s all good”

Billy full on started laughing at this, “Wow. I can’t even say anything bad against that.”

I shrugged, “Its life. They peaked in their late teens early twenties, I peaked in my mid-twenties”

“Well, I think, I think I peaked when I was in the Marines. But then, I had a downfall, as you can tell” He said motioning to his face, “But after everything that happened I’m trying to build my life up again”

“You had a big fall didn’t you?”

“My past caught up with me. I mean at least I’m not pretty boy Billy anymore” He had a grimace on his face but shook his head, “Basically. I’ve sorted out all the bad from my past. And I also realised at a young age to never let anyone screw me over I guess”

“You really hate them don’t you?” I asked him, “Your scars?”

“Yes and no. I feel like they’re a reminder of my past. Whenever I look at myself I see the person I once was, but then I’m happy that I’ve also got these scars to remind me of how far I’ve come and the shit I’ve gone through.”

“That’s a positive outlook on it” I nodded whilst taking a sip of my drink.

He gave a bitter laugh at that, “Well, you can only be negative for so long. I kid you not, you’ve got me at a good stage in my life”

I smiled at that, “Same. But good, I’m happy that I have. Hopefully, It’ll be good here on out huh?”

“Well, considering the path I’ve taken, I want to say the same. But it’ll be a rocky one”

“Yeah? Whys that?”

He smirked at me, and leaned back, “Well, Y/N, that’s a story for another time”

“Another time huh?” I asked him squinting my eyes at him and a teasing smile on my face.

“What about an official date? Friday night?” He asked giving me a hopeful look.

I pursed my lips and nodded, “Alright Russo. You wanna pick me up at 8 then?” I asked him.

He smiled at that, and we agreed that he’ll pick me up at 8. We both caught the same taxi back, I got to mine first, I said bye, and let me say I was pleasantly surprised with how the evening had gone.

Little Miss CEO Part 3

**

Tagged List for ‘Little Miss CEO’ 

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(If you want to be tagged in following parts send me a message)

(If you want to send in any requests please to at any time and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can my loves x - Fandom List ) 

Thank you so much honestly, anyone, who reads this I appreciate you so so much and whoever likes it please anything would make my day x  

[corellianangel]

Fan Review: Solo: A Star Wars Story

May contain minor/some spoilers after the cut.

I suspect that Solo: A Star Wars Story might be a bit like its title character. A bit rough at the start, maybe shady, pretty good-looking, and definitely out to get your money. But, as it goes on, it becomes more and more apparent how good and truly nostalgic and lovable it is.

This is a film that “nobody wanted.” Which means...what? I wanted it. When I saw Star Wars ANH, I wanted to know all about that cool Solo guy. And finally, 41 years later, I got my wish. And yeah… I’m mostly happy. After Last Jedi, I was pretty much done with the franchise, so it’s not like I went in with high hopes.

Solo is a relatively low stakes reprieve from the “we must save the world/galaxy/universe” all-or-nothing epic trope that has plagued us for the last few years. This is an adventure, a coming of age, and a western heist. Stakes are high, but only for the characters you are relating with onscreen, making it a curious addition to this year’s blockbusters.

Make no mistake; This is a love-letter to original trilogy Star Wars fans. It’s Han Solo in an Indiana Jones style adventure ( and what could be more fun than that).

4 out of 5 stars.

The first minute of Solo is exactly how a movie about the titular character should begin. But then it immediately lags, then even more so under ill-paced exposition. As soon Han goes solo though, it gains momentum. Then a short few minutes later as Woody Harrelson appears, things get rolling outright.

Alden Ehrenreich takes a bit of time to slide into Han’s scuffed boots, both onscreen and in our fan hearts. But when he does, it works wonderfully. He’s not the sexy gruff cynic Harrison Ford portrayed. No, he’s a “Kid,” who's got dreams. He’s a romantic. He’s wide-eyed, immature, and even petulant at times. But like Harrison’s portrayal, he’s arrogant, talented, goofy, jealous, easily embarrassed and will gladly spin a terrible lie. And oh yes… he can turn it on. Not at first, no… that’s really awkward ( more on that with Emilia). He’s not Harrison Ford by a long shot, but when given the chance later in the film, he makes a scene his own, and it’s HOT.

Unfortunately though, Alden is easily five inches shorter than 6’ 1” Harrison. And it’s glaringly obvious (especially to me, as I am quite a tall person). Sadly, Alden’s 1” platform 2”+ heel boots can only add so much. Otherwise, I’m satisfied with his portrayal. Alden’s a great actor, he had huge boots to fill, and I think he’s really been treated unfairly by the fans. Give the kid a chance, he might win you over.

Donald Glover IS Lando Calrissian though.  He’s sexy, sauve and even a bit silly ( in all the right ways… make no mistake).  I daresay Mr.Glover has taken Billy Dee William’s place in my heart as the epitome of Lando. Whether he’s coming on to Han, or Qi’ra or some unspecified alien species, he’s a pansexual on the level of Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones. An arrogant playboy badass, who loves all the finest things. He is willing to enjoy everything life has to offer, and why not? It’s hard not to love him as a result. Lando movie, anyone?

Tobias Beckett is everything Han wants to be. Beckett is also in love with fellow crook Val, and his attachment to her is cemented firmly in a couple of scenes, which unlike the Han/Qi’ra scenes–have great chemistry. And Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of yet another grizzled mentor is stunning. I found him much more appealing than Harrelson’s equivalent character from Hunger Games. Though the mantel is starting to wear. Don’t get me wrong. I adore Woody Harrelson. His being in this film gave me a reason to think I might just like it. I’m just not sure I want to see him as yet another badass mentor after this.

When Thandie Newton appeared in Beloved back in 1998, I was an instant fan. I’d seen her before in a few other flicks, but she blew that one out of the water as the title character. Since then she had worked steadily in a number of critically acclaimed roles. I was absolutely thrilled to see her in this as Val. And utterly heartbroken that she was totally underused. When Val is onscreen, she overshadows everyone else, even Beckett. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her than we do. Boo!

Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra…Hmm.  She’s cute, charming, and tries her hand at swordplay here. But honestly, the Queen of Dragons is a poor fit. The original casting call was for anything other than yet another white brunette. And with amazing ladies like Tessa Thompson in the running, why oh why did we end up with Emilia? If not racism (God, I hope not); Ang’s answer: Think $$$, from Game of Thrones fans in theatre seats. I can think of no other reason. Her chemistry with Alden is tepid at best ( and any of that comes much, much later). I feel bad for Emilia here. I think she was miscast, and that tarnish will always stay with the fans. ( P.s. : the three adult heterosexual males I watched the movie with, were over-the-moon smitten with her. To each his own. I guess…)

On to the non-humans...

Joonas Suotamo as Chewbacca is physically brilliant. He’s stolen my heart as Chewie from the lovely Peter Mayhew (sorry Pete) over the last three movies. But honestly, we discover nothing new about Chewbacca in this. Zero. It’s rather unfortunate. I wish I could say more. But we learn more about Chewie in episode three than this. A missed opportunity. Sorry Chewie. For some reason Disney put your character in the doghouse here.

L3-37 is another definite weak spot in Solo. We have a snarky female droid (yay!) as a droid-rights advocate (cool!).  But it’s so completely overwrought. Only Lando’s constant eye rolls save this character from being as ridiculous as Jar Jar Binks. Which is another shame, because I felt she fills in the current canon equivalent of Lando’s copilot droid Vuffi Raa, from the EU/Legends novels from waaay back in the 1980’s, (interestingly they are both pilots, are both self-aware droids and have vaguely parallel fates) Some editing issues arise as far as L3′s character is concerned too. She’ll be leaning, casually watching,  while droids are being slaughtered in front of her, but only interferes with other robots later in the same scene? Why?? Were the first dead droids not good enough for her to save? It’s inconsistent, poor editing; and that really hurts the character. Sorry Phoebe Waller-Bridge, you did great job with what you had. I’m not sure that the script/editing was as good as you deserved.

The spaceship the Millennium Falcon is 100% a full character in this too. Without giving too much away, she represents her pilots as they sit at the helm. She’s treated with more respect - reverence even -  in this, than any other film. And I can say this is her movie as much as it is Han’s. Millennium Falcon fans, you are in for a treat!

And the bad guys...or one guy anyways....

Paul Bettany is chilling and utterly convincing as the gangster Dryden Vos. He also has much better chemistry with Qi’ra than Han.  I’m fairly certain this is mainly due to Paul’s astonishing acting ability.  He first came to my attention as the title character in the darkly funny UK crime film Gangster No.1. I was floored by him then and he’s still blowing me away, even as the rather challenging character Vision in the MCU. Bettany does not disappoint in Solo either. He took over this role with zero preparation, with the weight of replacing another respected actor at the last minute in an extremely troubled production. And the optics of having a white European actor taking over from an African-american are...ermm...not the best. He pulls it off, though. But I can’t help but wonder what Michael K Williams would have brought to the role. Vos is a soulless psychopath under Bettany, not unlike his character in Gangster No.1.  Would Williams have brought the tragic–almost romantic deep spirit and inner strength he brought to his gangster Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire to Vos instead? It’s rather sad we will never know.

I don’t think I can say much else about the other antagonist(s) without spoiling a bunch. But let’s just say...wow! Well done! Surprises and fan service all around!

There is something missing here too. We never see Han as an imperial pilot. Nor the promised Shakespeare-inspired comedic comic book characters that Ron Howard teased last fall.  These gems may be reserved for DVD releases, but I feel Han’s missing academy stint is definitely a gap in this story. And the movie lacks because of it.

Importantly, I do recommend seeing this in IMAX 2D as it is a very dark and muted film.

The usual amazing, special effects, costumes and sets we’ve come to expect from the Star Wars film franchise are all present here.  The styling is different from the previous films, as it takes place about halfway between Episode Three and Rogue One.  It’s neat to see the evolution of the Empire’s gear. 

And the easter eggs are everywhere; prequels, Rebels, Clone Wars, Star Tours ( the Disney Park ride), the comic books from the 1970′s and 80′s, the EU/Legends Han Solo novels by Brian Daley, the Lando Calrissian novels from the same era are especially referenced numerous times. Even the Indiana Jones franchise gets a significantly placed nod.

To say the least, the fan-service is strong with this one.

But not the Force. Not at all. None of that simple tricks and nonsense here at all.

Because I’m a pretty hard-core fan, I pre-bought two showings on initial release. The first time I saw Solo, I was unsure if I actually liked it, but it seemed to be a decent film.  The second viewing ( the same night) was an absolute joy. Times three and four were with different groups of adults, and they all had a blast. Five was with a group of 13 year old girls, and they all enjoyed it too.

So let’s call my rating of Solo then, 4 out of 5 stars. 

Honestly I don’t get the backlash against it.  Don’t take your Last Jedi hate out on this. It’s a fun ride with decent jokes and no space-boob-milk monsters—honest!

And if you think Solo offers nothing different, new, or imaginative. You are 99% correct...Remember, we got that full package of “different and innovative” in Last Jedi. If that’s your schtick, watch that one instead then.

Oh, and one more thing- that 1%?... two words:

Shower scene.

[rockrevoltmagazine]

IBOTW: PSYCLE

SETH SALOIS-VOCALS/GUITAR JAY SPYNE-DRUMS MIKE KAZ-BASS/VOCALS JOE NICOLAZZO-LEAD GUITAR

Rock band Psycle is kicking ass, and taking names! With a new album titled Kill the Machine releasing on June 16,2020, Psycle is definitely a contender for greatness that you should be keeping on your radar. The band released their debut single, also titled “Kill the Machine” along with the accompanying lyric video on March 24th, and they are not showing any signs of slowing down…So – sit back, relax, and read on to why this band is our Indie Band of the Week!

How do you describe your music to people?

I would say that our music is honest. I know something that we take pride in when we are writing songs is making sure that the song is serviced first. I think that songs can get away from you if there is any ego injected into the writing process. Sometimes we have to let the song be what it is and if that means a part that we wrote as an individual doesn’t fit or make it better, it probably shouldn’t be there. I think songs are at their best when they can breathe and you can hear each person part. I know that especially live we are very cognizant of our volumes and tones. I never want to step on Joe’s tone or drown him out. I think that to be at your best, you must complement each other.

What image do you think your music conveys?

As a band I think that we want people to have a sense of hope and belonging. Being at a point of feeling alone whether mentally or physically can be daunting. I hope that our music makes people feel included and presents a feeling of being able to overcome. We never go into writing a song thinking it needs to sound or be a certain way, just that it will be its best self once it’s completed. I hope people can feel the same way about themselves and that sometimes we are only partially down the road of our own story and there is a lot more left to see and hear.

Do you think that online presence is important for fans to find you and critics to find your music to write about?

I think that any way that you can reach people is important. Things have changed so much due to accessibility and I think that it can be very positive and powerful. Being able to say thank you to fans, music critics, radio stations etc. is amazing and you can use it to push the words of your music. On the flip side of this, I think that you need to be careful what waters to find yourself in and you have to realize that some people may not like your music or maybe they are just out to get a reaction.  I think treating everyone with respect is important and more importantly something we forget “You can love people but you don’t have to love everything about them”. It is OK to disagree and sometimes if we are open enough, we may learn our way of handling something could be wrong or better serviced with more information.

How would you define the word “success”?

Success to me is reaching the most people with our music as possible. I have never ever written a song or a lyric thinking “Oh this will make us a million bucks”. To me, being able to make music full time and play in front of people is success. I want the music to be heard by as many people as possible. I want our music to affect people and make them talk about things and open up. I don’t believe any of us need to have a disguise to go food shopping or go to the movies to feel successful. I think that the longevity of the music and the effect it brings is success enough.

Were you influenced by old records & tapes? Which ones?

Funny you should ask! Our bass player Mike just had this conversation on his Facebook live that he does every Friday night. He was asking about our first tapes, album and even 8-tracks hahaha. I can remember my earliest memories of my mother blaring Beatles records, Queen, Billy Joel, Elton John, Michael Jackson and so many more. That was a huge influence on myself and I know the other guys were influenced by albums such as Derek and the Dominoes, KISS, Devo and so many more. We have such a wide variety of influences and I think it does service us when we are writing.

Where do you usually gather songwriting inspiration? What is your usual songwriting process?

I think that our inspiration comes from each other. The 4 of us get in a room and we go off of how riffs or progressions makes us feel. It sometimes even just takes a small 20 second clip of something for us to run with it. We record all of our rehearsals so when we are done, Joe cuts them up and sends them to our emails to listen. A lot of times just a little jam warming up can lead to something. When we are writing and finishing songs, we make sure we play them until they feel broken in. Sometimes the songs need something very small for the last puzzle piece. I think hearing them on stage also helps. Getting in a different head space can sometimes spark creativity

Which famous musicians have you learned from?

I have to say that I find myself going back to Dave Grohl a lot. He just loves to play music and not just his music but with others and as a guitar player, or a drummer, or a vocalist. Dave’s passion is just very inspiring and I think that his determination is something to look up to. He has an acceptance that music doesn’t have to be defined in the genre that we play in. I think that by being well rounded you can open the possibilities in your own writing.

How do you promote your band and shows?

Promote everywhere you can and ask for help! With a lot of the social media sites being driven by algorithms, it’s important that you utilize any way possible to push your content. At one point in my life I wanted nothing to do with Twitter. Taking a step back I realized that so many others do and I would be cutting of my nose despite my face if I refused something like that. Find different ways, be creative, be memorable, and have fun with it.

What type of recording process did you use? Who produced your recording?

We recorded our 2017 EP “Surfaces” at No Boundaries Studios with Producer Chris Piquette. We went back to Chris when we decided t record our follow up album “Kill the Machine” which is out June 12th. I love the studio and I always feel more creative when we finish recording. Being able to hear all the work that you have put in separated and mixed is beautiful. It offers a new context on the music and sometimes you realize “You were playing that” to your band mate. With Chris, he works very fast and has his process down to a science. This allowed us an opportunity to be creative and try new things. I think capturing moments of inspiration is more important that a perfect take. Once you find that inspiration, you can fix the technical aspect later. Our music is meant to have a rawness to it and I love capturing those moments. I especially love the drums and how small things played a different way can change to mood and feeling of a song. We can’t wait for people to hear the whole album.

Do you have a band website? Why or why not? Do you have a Facebook or Twitter? Do you use Bandcamp, Spotify or SoundCloud to share your music?

We have every kind of site that will allow us content hahaha. I think that you should utilize every single site you can because you don’t know how people get their music. You can look at data and listen to others but you never know where people may be looking. I think it’s very important for your sites to look professional, remain accessible and make people want to explore. More importantly, make the music easy to get to. On our website, you can hear and listen to our music before you even enter the site. All of our social media pages are clickable on the intro page and we want it to be inviting for people to search thru the site for more content. Give people a reason to explore!

Connect with Psycle (click icons):

IBOTW: PSYCLE was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

[orionsangel86]

12x10 - “Pterodactyl Screeching into the void” - Part 1

My title is borrowed from @postmodernmulticoloredcloak comment on my crazy blogging after first watching this episode earlier. I feel like it is a fitting title for how this episode made me feel. To clarify, these are very very happy pterodactyls.

Steve Yokey wrote this episode and he appears to have well and truly taken up the gap left when Robbie Thompson sadly left the show. In fact this episode to me channels the ghost of Robbie in many different ways. From the fanfiction-esque moments of poor suffering third wheel Sam, to the meta nod to Charlie Bradbury, there is much of Robbie to be found here. Basically, it was bloody perfect.

I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come. Yokey has picked up the characterisations brilliantly, and seems to have an understanding of what the fandom desperately craves in terms of Castiel, his character, his personality and his development. I adored his sass in this episode. Some other writers *cough*bucklemming*cough* struggle to really capture Castiel’s sass and humour. Showing their lack of understanding of Castiel’s persona and his intelligence and instead writing him in a way that is jarring and sometimes basically stupid. Castiel is far from stupid. In this episode he was written perfectly, in a way I haven’t seen since Edlund’s time. Is that a sweeping statement? Maybe. But I’m still riding my high so let me have it this time.

This episode gave us three of my favourite things. Badass and Sassy Castiel, Overprotective grumpy husband Dean, and poor long suffering brother Sam. (baring in mind this is how they are usually written in fanfiction nowadays this is exactly my jam and I am so so happy to see it play out on screen. Seriously who sold their soul to Crowley for this episode?)

This review will also be in two parts. Because I have so freaking much to say about it.

The first part will focus on destiel, the second on everything else including Castiel’s emotional arc (as separate from destiel), his relationships with angels, angels and gender and Lily Sunder’s character.

PART 1 - ALL THE DESTIEL

I’m still struggling to contain my excitement over this. The episode begins with Dean feeling very pissy about what happened at the end of the last episode. Castiel killed Billy to save the Winchesters regardless of the “cosmic consequences”. Castiel stands his ground that he doesn’t regret his decision. Dean is acting like a sulking child over the whole thing. Sam is cool with it. Because Sam is cool. He is also extremely fed up with being caught in the middle of a lovers spat.

And that’s just it isn’t it? How else can you possibly read it? This is a lovers spat. I have read this in fan fiction enough times to know exactly how this story goes. Funnily enough, the episode also goes the exact way of fanfiction (except for the explicit bits of course) and that makes me love it even more..

We start with Dean grumbling about Cas’s inability to track down Kelly Kline. It’s left to Sam to bring up Cas and whether or not they have spoken yet:

(gif source courtesy of @subcas)

We are 5 minutes into the episode, Sam is already so done, and I am having flashbacks to a fanfic I read recently… In fact I am pretty sure it was this one. 

No seriously read this extract pulled from this fanfic:

“Sam is witness to a lot of arguing, followed by one or both of them storming off in a huff. Long periods of excruciating silence stretch out between each altercation.  Sam never makes any move to intervene or get them to patch things up – Dean’s trying to figure out how to feel about that – but he always watches with careful concern and a raised eyebrow. Dean makes absolutely no effort to engage his brother on the topic, so he can only guess at what Sam makes of all this.

He tries to imagine what it must look like from Sam’s point of view – Dean getting irritated over nothing, sniping at Cas, fleeing without apologizing. Maybe Sam just thinks it’s all those perfectly reasonable aggravations, Cas being all up in his space and not backing off, Cas forgetting to refill the ice cube tray for the fifth time.

Then again, it’s Sam. It’s not like Dean doesn’t like Cas, or would get on his case so much even if he did, after all Cas has done for his sorry ass – even Dean’s not that much of a jerk. Sam must know that. He must know there’s something else going on. He probably understands exactly what Dean’s doing, maybe even better than Dean does himself.”

I mean COME ON. (also that is a awesome fic if you haven’t read it already… it gets pretty steamy further in the series. Cas is such a dom. Lmao.)

If we consider this entire conversation between Sam and Dean we immediately see a massive difference between their reactions to the Billy situation. Sam sees things objectively. He sees what Cas did, he knows that there could be bad consequences, but he understands that Cas did it for them, because he cared. He also respects Cas’s choice here and sticks up for him. Because Sam is not being unreasonable about his friends decision. Sam acts like a supportive friend. He gets it, it is his brother he is more fed up with.

Dean on the other hand is acting totally unreasonable. I haven’t even gotten to the conversation in the car when things start to get interesting because so far Dean is just being a jerk. Sam’s expressions tell us this straight away, before Cas even enters the scene. Why on earth would Dean act this way over a friend? He wouldn’t. It makes no sense. Just like in the fanfic I have quoted above. Something else is going on here, Dean is acting out for a completely other reason than what is apparent on first glance.

Once Cas does show up and things only get more awkward we get a brilliant moment which you can see giffed in its entirety here by @constiellation in which Sam is his poor awkward self stuck in the middle of a lovers spat that has been going on for the past week apparently. The way this moment calls back to 8x22 is completely thanks to the director Thomas J Wright knowing exactly what he is trying to show us in both episodes that poor Sam has been stuck in the middle of this domestic for years. (I should say a big thanks to @godshipsit for sending me the links to these posts since up until this point I have not been on my dash at all and therefore haven’t been gif hunting myself.)

The car scene drives home Sam’s terrible situation even further as he can’t even escape the immense *sexual* tension by moving to a different room.

LOOK AT THIS POOR BASTARD!!

Whilst I am sure that the intense tension and poor Sammy’s discomfort has been a major focal point here, the bit that I found most interesting was this exchange about Benjamin:

“Benjamin wouldn’t call for help lightly, he wouldn’t put himself in harm’s way if he could help it.”

“Wow this Benjamin seems like he is pretty cool, like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked knee jerked choices.”

What sets Dean off here is that Castiel’s description of Benjamin talks about Benjamin not putting himself in danger. That is why Dean thinks Benjamin is a cool guy. This is what Dean is digging at. This is our first clue into Dean’s real feelings about the Billy situation. He is pissed that Cas has potentially put himself in danger.

Cas’s response only pisses Dean off more:

“Yeah you know what I like about him, he’s sarcastic but he’s thoughtful and appreciative too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Enough that Dean almost crashes the Impala. This is practically unheard of. Cas and Dean are not on the same page at the moment. Cas thinks Dean is just being a jerk and unappreciative of his efforts, and Dean thinks that Cas is being too careless with his own life (which you can damn well talk Dean, making death deals last episode)

Then this scene gets even juicer as we get this story about Benjamin and his vessel. This is our first of three Angel/Human love stories in this episode (not including the forth and most important love story between Dean and Castiel of course).

Everything about the way Castiel describes Benjamin’s relationship with his vessel implies a romantic connection (“gave him everything, her trust, her body… its more than that, she’s not just his vessel she’s his…” “friend”.) It of course, is never explicitly said (and that is important) but I bet that the general audience picked up on THAT bit of subtext just from the way Sam said the word “friend” and isn’t that so interesting? How often has the word “friend” been used throughout the series to describe Dean and Castiel? Yet here it is being used specifically in a subtextual way to describe something completely non platonic.

Moving on to our next bit of destiel deliciousness is another moment of brotherly teasing.

The boys arrive at the diner to meet Ishim and Mirabel. Castiel’s sass is on point today with his “If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.”

Can I please take a moment to appreciate Sam’s face here: 

(Gif source thanks to @godshipsit - you are a blessing Alex)

On top of that expression of absolute GOLD is this moment:

“and you’re gonna storm in riiiiiighht…. Now.” And omg Sam totally has no more fucks to give with his brothers bullshit. He can see right through Dean’s drama to how he truly feels. Dean may act pissy with Cas but the moment Cas may be in danger Dean is all like “oh HELL NO.” Five minutes. He lasted five minutes. I love overprotective embarrassing husband Dean it is MY JAM.

 “These are my friends, my friends who don’t listen well”

*cue Dean practically sitting in Cas’s lap*

This is the best moment in the history of the show. Three grown ass huge men squeezing into a tiny diner seat. I LOVE IT. 

Ishim is such a tool, the way he speaks to Cas is awful but what is so so great is how Dean and also Sam stick up for him here. We so often seem to get Sam and Dean digging on Cas, talking him down and treating him like shit. The Winchesters are world weary and grumpy men and Cas often gets caught up in this. What we are shown here is just how defensive they get when other people try to do it. Because where the Winchester’s digging comes from a place of love, these angels nasty comments come from a place of hate. The Winchester’s won’t have it. 

Also SO MANY jokes to be had over the subtext of “no one talks to my husband like that BUT ME bitch” Oh DEAN.

Moving on to this beautiful flashback moment and our even more beautiful fem!castiel who wow what a good casting. But more on that in part 2. What I wanna talk about here is this moment:

(gif source once again thanks to @godshipsit)

We have our second angel/human love story of the episode between Lily and Akabel, or at least what we are led to believe is an angel/human love story that resulted in the birth of a Nephilim. The truth being that Akabel has pledged himself to protect Lily from Ishim at all costs. By the end of the episode, we are actually given the impression that their love was platonic rather than romantic or sexual. Akabel’s confusion when Castiel reads out the accusations is evident of that, as is Lily’s reaction to Dean and Sam’s attempts at reasoning with her later on.

However going back to the above gifset, Akabel argues to Ishim and the angel group that “How could anyone know [humans] and not love them?” at which point the camera cuts to Castiel. This my friends, is a nifty piece of editing which Supernatural has used on many occasions to add to the growing mountain of destiel subtext. Why cut to Castiel at this point? Because Castiel is going to experience this himself later in his lifetime. (by knowing and subsequently falling in love with Dean Winchester of course).

The third angel/human love story is next and it is a worst case scenario, dark and twisted tragedy and a massive subversion of the Dean/Cas story. It explores how an angel fell ‘in love’ with a human, but that human didn’t return his affections and therefore the angel became cold and murderous and obsessed. Ishim is a horribly twisted and dark Cas mirror highlighting what Castiel’s actual weakness is. Because Castiel nowadays cares more for the Winchesters than the world itself. “cosmic consequences” mean nothing when the Winchesters (and more specifically Dean) are in danger. The difference between Castiel and Ishim is that Ishim takes his anger out directly on the woman he loves, whereas Cas would never harm Dean. He instead makes decisions which have put the world in danger. 

I mentioned this previously, but the dark foreshadowing here is rather horrible. We have a terrified Lily left powerless whilst Ishim makes her watch as he kills her child. Claiming that she “broke his heart” so he will “break hers”. This is extreme. Where Lily is our Dean mirror and Ishim is Cas, who is Lily’s daughter? Sam. We have already seen this situation play out with our boys previously. Castiel, hurt and betrayed that Dean wouldn’t stand by his side to open purgatory and stop Raphael, breaks Sam’s wall and leaves him comatose. Its not the first time that Sam has been the one to get hurt in a fight between Dean and Cas. In an episode where he has constantly been trying to play peacemaker between them, could it be that Sam gets caught in a much bigger situation that started between Dean and Castiel? That perhaps the “cosmic consequences” Billy spoke of somehow end up hurting Sam? How could such a situation harm Dean and Cas’s relationship? Leaving Cas cold and hating human’s and Dean on a revenge mission to rival Gerard Butler’s in Law Abiding Citizen? Hopefully not. But with the emphasis at the start of this episode on the lovers spat and Cas not thinking before he acts, rather acting on his emotional need to keep Dean safe, and Dean’s anger possibly also being about Cas’s supposed obsession with him putting Dean first before the world… well, its not looking good for our boys basically. But then again I did say this was worst case scenario. 

The next moment that made my heart leap thanks to the destiel of it all:

(gif source thanks to @some-people-call-it-tragic )

This was preceded by a phone call that Dean made to Cas that only rang twice before his over protective nature kicked in and he ran back to the ‘safe house’ to go save his husband from Ishim. Leaving Sam to talk to Lily (its always Dean who goes back for Cas. Remember that.) After all the bitterness from the start of the episode, it is clear by this point that none of that matters if either of them are in danger.

“Who are you gonna believe? Your brother? Or some filthy ape?”  Ishim tries to make Cas choose him over Dean. Which is of course hilarious to anyone that has watched even just one Cas episode of the show.

“Always talking down at you, always mocking you”.

Whats great about this is how this is being said in front of Dean because Dean is getting called out here. Ishim has been nasty and rude to Cas all episode, IN FRONT OF DEAN. Through Ishim, Dean is able to see just what a jerk he has actually been. Its giving Dean the chance to think about his actions, because there is no way Dean will want to be put in the same boat as this asshole.

“Ya know Cas and I might not agree all the time, but at least he knows who his real friends are”

Look at these two badass hunting husbands forming a united front against the bad guy. Also “Friends” just like the “friends” of Benjamin and his vessel right?

Of course everything goes super bad after this and poor Cas gets beaten to shit by this absolute dick of an angel IN FRONT OF DEAN. All this crap that Ishim is coming out with is being said IN FRONT OF DEAN. Do you know why I love this so much? Because we have had crappy villains like Ishim saying this kind of shit to Cas since SEASON 9 and sometimes even earlier. Castiel has always just taken it, never said “no. You are wrong about me” and in the later seasons he has started to believe their words, adding to his depression and PTSD. He has been called weak and pathetic and expendable and a tool and every time he has been alone. We have never had Dean be there by his side to hear these words to argue against them. But that is EXACTLY what we get this episode. And it is ABOUT BLOODY TIME.

And then we get probably the most obvious moment for Destiel from the whole episode. To the point that if the general audience don’t see it now they are a bloody lost cause:

(gif source @godshipsit AGAIN because I am Alex’s biggest fan)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. Let;s do a nice simple logic puzzle with what we know is canon:

Metatron says Castiel’s “true weakness is revealed”

Metatron says that that his weakness is “He is in love… with humanity”.

Metatron says “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but it was all about saving one man”

Ishim draped himself in the flag of heaven, but it was actually all about getting revenge on one woman.

Ishim said that he was “in love” with that woman.

Ishim called that woman his “human weakness”.

Ishim says that Cas also has a “human weakness”

Ishim threatens to cut out Castiel’s “human weakness”

Ishim goes to stab Dean.

Therefore can we please, finally accept that it is CANON that Dean=humanity. That Castiel is IN LOVE WITH humanity and that therefore

Castiel is in love with Dean Winchester.

Now that we have accepted that this is canon. Lets move on to the very next scene. This:

(gif source thanks to @codestielckles)

Now its Dean’s turn to get a choice. Blast away both angels, and Castiel will potentially die, or die himself. Of course Dean won’t do it. Dean would rather die fighting for Cas than risk Cas’s life. Ishim of course knows this to be true. “yeah, that’s what I thought” he says.

Also such an interesting shot of Cas looking at Dean in that moment because HOW MUCH does it remind you of that horrible moment from 10x22? What’s the betting that was also done intentionally? 10x22 was also directed by Thomas J Wright. This guy knows his stuff.

Thankfully Lily and Sam come in to save Dean from Ishim who really was just on a mission to kill Dean at this point probably because of his massive jealousy that Cas gets a human lover and he doesn’t.

Finally, probably the end scene we have been waiting for the past YEAR. The Winchesters actually TALKING to Cas and telling him what he NEEDS TO HEAR! I am all over this scene man I’m telling you I have been waiting for this I have been hoping and praying to Chuck for this! Dammit I am so happy about this!

“You’re not weak Cas you know that right?”

“Obviously you’ve changed, but its all been for the better.”

“And you’ve been with us every step of this long crazy thrill ride… and no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down”

“That takes real strength”

THANK YOU SAM AND DEAN AND THANK YOU STEVE YOKEY

*sips Cas hater tears*

And THEN we get this beauty which sums up Dean’s attitude all episode. It kinda actually sums up Dean’s attitude throughout the whole fucking show:

(Gif source thanks to @godshipsit again)

“I’m not mad, I’m worried.”

Exactly. Like how right at the beginning he picked on Cas after Cas mentioned Benjamin wouldn’t put himself in danger. Dean is worried about Cas. Dean is worried about his idiotic husband who cares more about saving him than he does himself and the world. Cas is blinded by his love for Dean. It is a problem and Dean ain’t happy about it. But it is all rooted in love.

And that’s it and I am exhausted!

I haven’t written so much meta on Destiel for one episode like EVER in my time in fandom. I doubt we have had an episode with THIS MUCH destiel in it since Goodbye Stranger. I can’t actually contain myself. Anyway, in summary. Destiel is canon. Destiel Exists. (Poor Jensen he must be so confused that season 12 skipped straight from episode 9 to episode 11) We have textual confirmation now (via a little bit of well applied but completely solid logic) that Castiel is in love with Dean and that Dean is an overprotective emotional mess when it comes to Cas being in danger (not that we didn’t know that already thanks to 11x18 among every other Cas-in-danger episode so far) This is undeniable.

Like I said in this episodes title. I am still pterodactyl screeching into the void about it. I don’t think I’ll stop going on about it for a long time yet.

I have more to say about this episode that is not specifically related to destiel coming up in part 2. Watch this space!

[dontfutzitup]

kate figured that the best thing to do was to give clint some space at first. so for the first few days after being back - being out of the stone - kate had more or less avoided him while he was around. knowing how upset and/or frustrated he’d gotten when she and billy had accidentally told him a bit too much about the possible future, she couldn’t blame him. she’d be frustrated too if she were in his place.

it had also taken those few days to build up the courage to see him again. though she probably wouldn’t admit it to him, or even to the clint barton in her timeline, she respected the hell out of the original hawkeye. looked up to him. he had been her childhood hero, after all. seeing someone she cared deeply for who didn’t know her in this timeline because she didn’t exist was hard, to say the least.

walking up the steps to his apartment building, she felt a twinge of sadness. it looked just like the one back home. probably wasn’t much different inside, either. she smiles at the thought of the different tenants in the building - grills, the guy who’s real name she could never actually remembered, who had started the whole ‘hawkguy’ trend. she couldn’t remember the name of the mother with the two kids either, but she recalled her being very nice. she thought of the time they’d all banded together to fight back against the tracksuit mafia ‘bro’s’. the different practice sessions and the millions of times she’d helped him with whatever injury he’d managed to get that day. sighing, she pushes all those thoughts away. for all she knew, none of that had ever happened for him. it was probably best to not dwell on it.

opening the door to the building, she makes her way up to his apartment, hoping that one of the things that had somehow stayed the same between the two timelines was the apartment number he lived in. knocking on the door, she paused for a moment, before she speaks. “hey, clint? it’s kate. kate bishop. hawkeye. uh.. sorry to drop in unannounced and all, but i come bearing coffee and donuts? also dog treats.”

@hereshawkguy