#the best part of being dutch

[jockw]

[tossball-stick]

kicks dirt. saw 1 fact about 19th century whaling and now i wanna make an ex whaler rdr2 oc

[walking-loather]

.

[madelynpryor]

wish i had a really pretty italian last name so bad but nooo my dad just had to have a german last name

[moontyger]

The U.S. seems only to understand pregnancy as a distinct and fragile state. For the expectant, we issue reams of proscriptions—more than can reasonably be followed. We tell them what to eat and what not to eat. We ask that they visit the doctor regularly and that they not do any strenuous activity. We give them our seats on the bus. Finally, once they’ve actually undergone the physical trauma of it, their bodies thoroughly depleted, we beckon them most immediately to rejoin the rest of us. One New York mother summed up her recent postpartum experience this way: “You’re not hemorrhaging? OK, peace, see you later.”

The Chinese traditionally adhere to 30 days of restful confinement—another week for a C-section—during which time moms are meant to consume lactation-inducing soups and herbal tonics and abstain from sex and cold water. In Mexico, the ritualized interlude, or the cuarentena, goes for 40 days, or long enough for the womb to return to its place. Balinese women are not allowed to enter the kitchen until the baby’s cord stump has fallen. Dutch maternity nurses make postpartum visits every day for the eight days after childbirth, and in France, as elsewhere, new moms spend nearly a week in hospital.

Always, the mothers are educated as they convalesce; they’re taught to breast-feed, to manage baby rashes and bath time and sore nipples. Rarely are they first to respond to the infant’s shrieking. In 2011 I visited a luxury postpartum center in Taipei, where women of means (and who would rather not call on their mothers-in-law, as is custom) spend a month in recovery. When I asked Tsai Ya-hui, who had given birth to her first child three weeks earlier, what she did all day in her high-end suite, she answered: “Internet and sleep. That’s about it.” She looked more refreshed than I did.

There are elements of these postpartum practices (the consumption of foods rich in iron) that are common-sensical, and there are others (tightly wrapping the belly with a postnatal girdle; consuming distilled rice wine in place of water; extremely limited exposure to the sun in the first month), the usefulness and safety of which are debated by the medical community. But the thing to focus on here is the idea of a culturally recognized and accepted postpartum rest period. With these rituals comes an acknowledgment, familial and federal, that the woman needs relief more at this time than at any other—especially if she has a career to return to—and that it takes weeks, sometimes months, to properly heal from childbirth. An acknowledgement that overexertion after labor could lead to depression, infection, increased uterine bleeding, or prolapse. An acknowledgment that the postpartum stretch shouldn’t feel, as it did for so many of the American women who took part in my informal survey, like one long sleepless night.

“A culturally accepted postpartum period sends a powerful message that’s not being sent in this country,” said Dr. Margaret Howard, the director of the Day Hospital for Postpartum Depression in Providence, Rhode Island. “American mothers internalize the prevailing attitude—‘I should be able to handle this myself; women have babies every day’—and if they’re not up and functioning, they feel like there’s something wrong with them.” A colleague of Howard��s, the daughter of a pediatrician, brought her prepregnancy jeans to the delivery room, expecting to slip into them once the baby was out.

I spent part of an afternoon with some new mothers in Park Slope, an affluent Brooklyn neighborhood that is frequently and teasingly associated with over-the-top urban parenting. As a group, they’d received probably the best postpartum care that this country has to offer, which they detailed over the squeals and sighs of their nursing infants. Sophia Sotto had hired a postpartum doula, but didn’t feel comfortable “asking her to do the dishes in the sink.” She remembered: “I still couldn’t manage when to shower, when to eat.” Sarah Hake had an episiotomy and still, like every woman in America, was asked to come in for a 15-minute checkup six weeks after leaving the delivery room. “Six weeks is too late,” she said. The rest murmured their agreement.

All had cooked; all had cleaned. Asked Emily Lillywhite, “If you don’t get up and do it, who will?” One woman had taken an especially long walk two days after delivering, because she wanted to “feel normal again.” Most had been afraid to survey the wreck between their legs, and those who did look hadn’t been able to tell if they were healing well or not. “Google became my very good friend,” said Ruth Margolis. “Yes,” Sotto broke in. “Your postpartum support is the Internet.”

I heard stories of women vacuuming upon arriving home after a day and a half in the hospital; of new moms waiting until the six-week checkup to make their postnatal complications known; of visitors turning up and instantly asking for coffee; of lactation consultants who were meant to, but did not, take insurance; of a postpartum doula who, when she was summoned by a mother one month postlabor, said, “You’re too far along to need me.”

A popular site that advises women on how to find and work with a baby nurse counsels: “Ask your baby nurse what she likes to eat and stock up at the supermarket.” It is true that hiring a postpartum helper is far less expensive in, say, Hong Kong than in the U.S. But the problem is not one of money. The problem is that no one recognizes the new mother as a recuperating person, and she does not see herself as one. For the mourning or the injured, we will activate a meal tree. For the woman who is torturously fatigued, who has lost one 10th of her body’s blood supply, who can scarcely pee for the stitches running up her perineum, we will not.

[coco-loco-nut]

Gen Z

pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader

summary: everyone seems to forget that Max is 26

a/n: not my favorite, but it’s something i’ve been working on for a while there will be no part two

requests open masterlist

—————

Breaking up with Kelly was extremely difficult for Max to do. Despite not being in love with her anymore, he was very aware of what would happen to P. Max knew it was better to break up than stay just because of P, so he bit the bullet. The next few months were lonely, having to readjust to being alone in Monaco with just his cats.

That’s when you came barreling into his life. Only two years younger than Max, you were a breath of fresh air for him. He really didn’t expect to fall for you, not so quick anyway.

You knew a bit about Formula One, but it was more to the extent that your home hosted a race, some drivers lived in the city, and your hairdresser’s son was a driver. It didn’t phase you when Max told you about his career and fame, you just thought the Dutchman was cute.

“Men who own cats are major green flags,” you told him over text when you first started dating. That might’ve been what really made Max fall for you. You made him feel young, understandably so. He was 19 when he first met Kelly, and she was 28.

Max taught you about the races, you helped him connect with his inner Gen Z. He taught you Dutch and how to game, you taught him slang and pop culture. The two of you were sitting on the couch a month before the Monaco GP, watching Cars of course, when Max asked you to join him at the race.

“Of course, anything for Lightning McQueen,” you squeeze his hand. You knew from TikTok that Charles, your boyfriend’s work husband, was Lightning McQueen, but how could that not be Max.

“Kachow,” Max says causing you to laugh. He has been watching the TikToks and reels you send him, usually something formula one or cars related.

Max is watching Cars 2 with you when he points out each driver in the movie. You store the knowledge in the back of your mind for when you watch classic races and Max explains things to you. You feel sufficiently ready for Monaco.

“Lewis, this is my girlfriend, Y/n,” Max introduces you to the Mercedes driver. You look at him, star stuck.

“I loved you in Cars,” you blurt out, causing Lewis to laugh and Max to hide his face in embarrassment. Max isn’t surprised, but he can’t believe this is how your first interaction is going. Lewis is just happy you aren’t with Max because he is a driver.

“Thank you, how old are you?” Lewis asks, ready to feel old.

“24, two years younger than Maxie,” you smile lovingly at your boyfriend.

“I forgot how young you actually are,” Lewis’s unspoken words hang in the air between him and Max. Now that you are dating someone closer to your own age.

Lewis’s statement seemed to be the general consensus when everyone saw you with him. Max looked and acted like he was 26. He was using slang you taught him, he was making pop culture references that he likely wouldn’t have known otherwise. He was getting to experience his twenty’s like he should have been, not as if he was much older than he was.

Lando was the most excited to meet you, not only were you his age, but you brought out Max’s inner child that Lando never could.

“I’m stealing your girlfriend,” Lando tells Max, wanting to claim you as his best friend.

“No,” Max deadpans.

“What if Lando is my bestie?” you ask Max, who can’t say no to you.

“Then I guess that’s okay,” Max kisses your temple.

“OMG, McLaren is doing another hide and seek video, you two should join,” Lando proposes.

“That actually sounds fun,” Max says, looking at you for confirmation.

“I’m in,” you smile, letting Lando lead the way.

The video is a hit, the fans are loving this version of Max. Max is loving this version of him too, for once he doesn’t feel like he has to grow up faster than he should.

“Stay away from her, she’s no good for you. Act like a grown up,” you overhear Jos tell Max as you come back to the garage from hospitality. You have yet to meet Jos, Max made it very clear that he doesn’t want you near his dad. The memes the two of you send back and forth are a good enough reason why, so you hang back.

“What do you mean? I am. I’m 26, why should I act like I’m 40? I am happier with her than I was with Kelly,” Max argues back, you hold yourself back.

“World Champions are serious, mature. Quit acting like Lando Norris and more like an adult,” Jos is seething.

“Ask Max to come back here, say the team needs him or something,” you as an engineer when you notice Jos getting angrier.

“Then why am I leading by a heavy margin already. You just can’t handle that I am putting myself first. What would you even know about being a champion? You never won a race!” Max yells. The engineer quickly cuts in and leads Max to you.

“You gagged him, baby. Are you okay?” Max hugs you, you just rub his back as he regulates his breathing.

“He’s an opp, for real,” Max mutters into your shoulder, causing you to snort with laughter.

“God, I love you,” you can’t contain the laughter. Max joins in, your smile is infectious.

“I did use it right, no?” Max asks between the laughter.

“You did, I just wasn’t expecting it,” you take a deep breath, calming down.

“No cap?”

“Alright, you are using too much. Where is old man Max, this is freaky,” you take a step back, the smile that remains on your face betrays your words.

“You got me into my gen z era, you get the consequences,” Max pulls you back into him as you groan in annoyance.

“I love you too,” he laughs, peppering your face with kisses.

And when a journalist is brave enough to ask about the shift in Max? He’s always eager to talk about you.

“My girlfriend forced me to watch hours of YouTube compilations about formula one memes. We are always sending different memes to each other, she definitely helps me remember to laugh more,” Max gushes.

“I guess we all forget that you aren’t nearly forty,” the journalist nods. Max answers a few more questions before finding you in his drivers room. He lays down on the couch, his head on your lap.

“What’s on your mind?” you run your hand through Max’s hair.

“Have I changed that much?” he asks, his blue eyes looking up at you.

“I don’t think so, I think you’ve just started being yourself around more people. You are still the same Max that I first met and fell in love with, everyone else is just seeing that Max,” you are confused about the question, but answer him. Max doesn’t reply, he just nuzzles closer to you.

“I like this version of me,” he says into your shirt a few minutes later, you keep playing with his hair.

“I’m glad, but I like every version of you, Max. Even old man Max,” you smile as he sits up.

“Old man? How about I show you how far from true that is,” there is a look in his eye that tells you that you just started something.

“And how will you do that?” you decide to entertain him as he slips his hands under your shirt.

“I don’t think I need to tell you.”

[darling-flora]

feather 2

max x yn!singer - social media au

fc: sabrina carpenter

part 1 : HERE

notes: please please please let me know what ya think !!! ❣ rt's are appreciated !!! (i used google translate for some dutch words, so let me know if anything's wrong!!)

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maxverstappen1

Liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 6,559,944 others

maxverstappen1 3 🏆

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user1 wait is y/n taller or is max shorter ??

↳yourinstagram 7 inch heels 🫣...

user2 PARENTS !!!!

user3 first picture needs to be framed 🥺

yourinstagram love youuuuu 💙

user4 MY GOAT 🐐

user5 TIME FOR 4 🏆🏆🏆🏆

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 8,959,914 others

yourinstagram quick trip.... 💋💙

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user1 never looked better !!!

user2 cuties 😪

maxverstappen1 best date ever ❤

liked by yourinstagram

user3 bro why aren't they ever paparazzied together?? like is it PR??? he was papped with his ex....

↳user4 because his ex called the paparazzi..... ↳user5 they both rarely get papped when they are alone so it's the same when they're together, he was ALWAYS papped with his ex so..... put 2 and 2 together 🙃

user6 wearing 7 inch heels only to still be shorter then max🤭

danielricciardo max looks so yummy 🤤

↳yourinstagram he is 😉 ↳danielricciardo ew ↳yourinstagram YOU started it ?? ↳user7 😭😭?

user8 two goats 😋

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 8,959,914 others

yourinstagram coachellaaaa weekend 1 & 2 what a dream !! these were two of the most electrifying shows I've ever played 💙!!!!, and I can’t believe you guys were already singing along to espresso (more to come soon 😉). I feel so incredibly lucky to of gotten the honor to perform for you all. thank you to everyone who came to watch and everyone watching at home!!!!

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user1 you ate that mama 🤩

maxverstappen1 wow wow wow my mooie meisje (pretty girl)

maxverstappen1 every time i see you it's like seeing you for the first time

maxverstappen1 y/nchella is going to be the only thing on my mind for awhile....

↳user2 BRO you have practice in CHINA in TWO DAYS ????? IT'S A SPRINT WEEKEND TOO ?!?!?!?!? ↳maxverstappen1 y/n on the mind while driving helps me win ↳user2 ..... ↳user2 i respect it 🤝

maxverstappen1 love you my mooie meisje (pretty girl)

↳yourinstagram love youuuu 😚 ↳yourinstagram i'll be waiting for you in miami 😉 ↳user3 ohhh they freaky 🤭

user4 i've NEVER seen max comment like this before holyyyyy 😭💀

user5 WAIT i thought espresso was a "cute little song" but are we getting a new album soon??

↳user6 she got out of a sh1tty relationship then got into a healthy relationship so i think she has a few things to write about.....😭

user7 espresso the hit that you are!!!!!!!!!

user8 the woman that you are wow wow wow 🤯

user9 the vocals !! the fits !! and the FACE !! TENS across the board 😩

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voguemagazine

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,959,944 others

voguemagazine While we're patiently waiting for the release of Y/n's album Short n' Sweet, lets go behind the scenes of the 2nd single "Please Please Please"s music video which featured L/n's boyfriend and Three Time Formula One Champion of World Max Verstappen.

"I ended the last video getting arrested, so naturally I thought it would be satisfying to start the 'Please Please Please' video in jail", said the singer. "I liked the idea of falling in love with a convict and being shocked and embarrassed every time he commits crimes. I was sooo lucky to get Max Verstappen in the video 'cause he's a busy guy but I was a little unsure who I wanted to play the guy who I was falling in love with, then I realized "why not have the guy your in love with be the love interest?" and he was instantly down." said the singer after the music video was released.

The video’s director said "The amount of energy and effort he put in while also being conscious of being out of the way or it not being about him, it was great. It’s hard to cast people in general, but to get them that dedicated is unique." he added "During the first few takes before Max got used to having to act, anytime he'd look at Y/n he'd smile and almost like melt so we had to give him a few pointers but after that he killed it" video’s director said about Verstappen.

The director added "The two were professional on camera but after the camera cut they'd laugh and behave as any other couple, it’s super weird and very meta. They’re essentially playing themselves in this really elevated and theatrical way that is not themselves at all. Now there was this responsibility because they’re a couple and they’re being filmed together for the first time in this kind of really big way, so that responsibility of doing them both justice and making them both look amazing and making sure that people understand that this is fiction while keeping it light and lovely became the priority."

Read more -> HERE

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user1 this bts just told me that they are crazy in love 😭❤

user2 my favorite part was when dua and callum broke up a day after the music video came out

↳user3 then got back together.... just messy 😭 ↳user2 they are prob gonna break up again after the albums out 🤫

user4 max being down to do this is so iconic, also him posting her any chance he gets is my favorite thing!!

user5 it's SOOOO refreshing to see that she's so much more happier in this relationship !! and the fact that he isn't afraid to talk about her

↳user6 they do it very tastefully too!! like anytime i hear something that they've said about each other it always seems so genuine and love filled 🥺❤ ↳user5 this!!! anytime her ex was asked about her he was always so annoyed but when she was asked she would always praise him but he just never did the same 😕

user7 STOPPPP the picture of her hiding behind him is so cute

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 10,959,944 others

yourinstagram Short n’ Sweet is officially yours now!!!

i feel extremely lucky that each time i write a new record i learn a little bit more about myself, and can create from that place. the making of short n’ sweet was one of the most special, honest, up and down, stupid and fun experiences of my life.

thank you to my brilliant talented friends, writers, producers, mixers, engineers, and creative minds that helped me bring this world and these songs to life. not a serious thought was thunk yet somehow they were.. lol i love you all and am so grateful.

I will keep this short n sweet buuuut more soon. go listen now and i hope you love it as much as i do❤

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user1 Your mind ❤️!

maxverstappen1 love you so much. So so proud of you 💙

↳yourinstagram love love love love youuuu , ty for being you 💙

user2 So endlessly proud of you

oscarpiastri Ahhhhhh I'm obsessed!!

↳yourinstagram TYYYYYYY Mr. Pastry 😁

user3 So proud of you and love you endlessly. Can't pick a favorite!!!

user4 i was already obsessed two seconds in to the first song like wow… you are truly unreal. my favorite album to exist

danielricciardo most perfect album of all time

↳yourinstagram ty dannyy ☺

user5 short n sweet = no skips 💋

user6 Wowowow I didn’t skip a single song in this album. 💿 loooove it so much angel.

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maxverstappen1

Liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 9,559,944 others

maxverstappen1 So so so proud of you, Short n' Sweet has been on repeat from the second i heard it. Seeing how hard you've worked and how much of yourself you've put into this and being by your side every step of the way has been such a pleasure.

love you y/n 💙

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maxverstappen1 also, would happily fulfill your wishes of making you juno yourinstagram 😁

↳maxverstappen1 or try some freaky positions... ↳user1 MAXX ?? ↳redbullracing Max, please think of the sponsor's.... ↳maxverstappen1 I'm opening the door to new sponsors.... ↳yourinstagram STOPPPP ↳yourinstagram their gonna take away your social media privilege's 😭 ↳user2 are we ignoring the fact that max said he'd happily impregnate Y/N ?????

user3 the first and last picture's are so cute 😪

user4 i need to be in a relationship NOW 😠

user5 he loves her so bad.... im gonna be single forever 😩

user6 IF A MAN WANTED TOO, HE WOULD!!!

user7 these pic's almost make you forget she's getting freaky deaky on the album

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enews

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,869,944 others

enews 🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Callum Turner and Dua Lipa have called it quits after a year of on and off dating. The timeline of when the two started dating is unclear but after a dinner in Los Angeles where the two seemed to be having problems the pair left the restaurant at the same time but in separate cars.

Only a day after the break up Turner was seen with a mystery blonde women while Dua Lipa was seen at an airport heading for London.

The relationship seemed to of become rocky after Y/n L/n released her singles "Espresso" and "Please Please Please". Then with the release of Y/n L/n's album Short n’ Sweet which contains multiple songs that are about their relationship.

Do you think it's a "Coincidence" they've broken up multiple time's around the releases' of Y/n L/n's music ?

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user1 just MESSSYYYY people omg

user2 i do NOT feel bad for either of them 😭

↳user like he fumbled y/n so badddd ↳user also he found a BLONDE girl RIGHT after breaking up with dua.... like im giggling 🤭

user3 a "year of on and of dating" is killinggggg me 💀😂

user4 "you're running so fast from the hearts that you're breakin'" she really clocked his ass 😭

user5 the blonde is allegedly dua's friend..... 😭💀

↳user1 not him pulling a leclerc 🤭

user6 both nobody's without y/n....

user7 "oh, wow, you just broke up again" 😭

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 10,559,944 others

yourinstagram p2 in zandvoort 💙

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user1 SHES BACK AT THE RACES !!!

user2 i know this DIVA 💜!!

maxverstappen1 the most important attendee at any race 😚

↳yourinstagram cutie😘 ↳user3 please be mindful that most of us are single....

user4 no one else could be as iconic of a wag as you are 🙂‍↕️

user5 y/n photo dump is always gonna eat 😩

whitneypeak 😚🤞

user6 move over max

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enews

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,869,944 others

enews Callum Turner spoke out about his relationship's being in the spotlight, while Turner and Y/n L/n's relationship was private, Callum and Dua Lipa's relationship was a public whirlwind of an on and off relationship.

"I know that people are always going to be curious especially when it's two famous people being seen together [...] I knew that she was going to write music because it's what she does [...] you know she'll do whatever to help her career [...] at the end of they day i wish her all the best."

Y/n L/n has been in a relationship with Three Time Formula One Champion of World Max Verstappen for over a year, the pair haven spoken very highly of each other and the two have supported each other’s careers. While some of her songs off her recent album Short n’ Sweet like Taste, Coincidence, and Dumb & Poetic are about Turner, the more playful and loving songs like Espresso, Bed Chem, and Juno are about Verstappen.

What do you think about Turners comments?

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user1 "two famous people" when no one knew who he was until they started dating....

↳user2 i remember a director saying they didn't know who he was, then y/n introduced callum to the director, the director knew who she was because his daughter was a fan... 🤭

user3 he cheated on y/n then had the balls to say "she'll do whatever to help her career" ????? he needs to be serious

user4 "If you don't wanna cry to my music, don't make me hate you prolifically" 🫣

user5 bro can't even say her name he knows he fumbled 😭

user6 he should've kept his mouth shut 🙄

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max1.jpg

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,335,690 others

max1.jpg no need to wish because she is/has it

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user1 WHACK #HIM AGAIN MAX!!

user2 if i was dating y/n i too would post her every second i got

user3 WAIT did yall get a puppy

↳max1.jpg we have FOUR cats, we do not need a dog... ↳yourinstagram you hate me 😔 ↳max1.jpg maybe after the tour... ↳yourinstagram YIPPEE 🥳

user4 HE'S SO PETTY OMG 😭

user5 thank you max for standing up for our girlfriend 😚 THAT guy needed to be humbled

↳max1.jpg 🫡

user6 he lovessss her so much 😪

user7 im the reason for 1 billion streams btw😁

user8 "at the end of they day i wish her all the best" and max shut his ass up 🤭

user9 the only woman ever 🙂‍↕️ (im a woman)

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[5sospenguinqueen]

Juno | Max Verstappen x Singer! Reader

Summary: The internet gets an exclusive insight into the private life of a famous popstar and an f1 racer. Perhaps more of an insight than their friends wanted to see

Warnings: fluff, swearing, suggestive jokes 

Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter

yes i know you know when the grammys are but for the purpose of this, no you don’t

this is the finale. i don’t have any more parts planned. sorry the angst wasn’t more drawn out 

F1 Masterlist

prev.

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yn_ln just posted

liked by redbullracing, oscarpiastri and others

yn_ln heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another he tried to embarrass me, so goodbye motherfucker

21,331 comments 

alexandrasaintmleux at least you looked hot in that video. and nobody can take that away from you 

→ francisca.cgomes she’s right. i would’ve gotten on my knees for you 

→ pierregasly pardon?

landonorris when did this become a whore house?

→ oscarpiastri you do look like a lady of the night

→ yn_ln @/mclaren this is why i haven’t been back in the garage

→ mclaren we’ll fire them 

→ user1 love how oscar is only okay with people slut shaming y/n when he is the people

redbullracing best thing we’ve seen all season

→ user2 die hard ynstappen stans 

scuderiaferrari we knew you’d look good in red 

user3 hot take. i think y/n is running the account @/shortnsweet and she uses it to stalk people (mainly max) 

→ user4 her clothing brand account?

→ user5 explain 

→ user3 well, first, it was caught liking tweets about her and max, and then a fan noticed it was still following max’s account, and then it was caught liking tweets about max and kelly breaking up

→ user3 and recently. max was streaming earlier on twitch and a fan noticed that the official shortnsweet account was watching it so the comments went wild

→ user3 and when max noticed them, he couldn't stop smiling. what a coincidence

yn_ln posted a new story shortnsweet posted a new story

oscarpiastri replied why are you exposing yourself like this?

landonorris replied ha! you just told the world that you’re a stalker

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redbullracing just posted

liked by shortnsweet, danielricciardo and others 

redbullracing max verstappen is a four time world champion! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

33,078 comments 

francolapinto well deserved max 

user6 anyone else in love with how drunk max already was during the post race interviews

→ user7 i was actually cackling when he started pouring a gin and tonic on telly 

estebanocon well deserved mate

user8 i love drunk max because he forgets all his pr training

→ user9 the way he was ignoring the questions and just singing taste by y/n for the world to see

landonorris good number to be fair! congrats mofo!! 

→ oscarpiastri are you drunk?

→ charles_leclerc no, i think that was max

yn_ln congrats, max. you really deserved this one 

→ maxverstappen1 thank you, y/n. means a lot 

→ user10 !! 

→ user11 are we all seeing this

→ user12 and now max winning his 4th wdc is the second best thing to happen today 

yn_ln posted a new story maxverstappen1 posted a new story landonorris posted a new story

maxfewtrell replied to landonorris they’re going to kill you when they’re sober → you’re going to kill you when you’re sober  → a headache and a murderous dutchman  → those emojis aren’t subtle

user13 oh come on. she posted about being in vegas on the weekend of the grand prix. and she didn’t have a show on. obviously she was there for the race 

user14 and lando’s emojis were not subtle. the dutch flag and a microphone? clearly max and y/n

→ user15 i was shocked! the way he was holding her. how close they were

user16 i think they’re probably friends again because it would be really stupid of her to take him back 

user17 i bet he’s just going to run back to kelly. they’ve shown they don’t work 

user18 i hope they’re back together but only if they’ve talked this through 

user19 we all know he’s been down bad for her since day one so it wouldn’t surprise me

→ user20 she’s clearly down bad for him too. all her recent songs have been about him in some way 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_ln just posted

liked by verstappencom, redbullracing and others 

yn_ln cannot believe this happened. someone pinch me 

25,330 comments

alexandrasaintmleux the only thing better looking than the awards is you in that bodysuit

francisca.cgomes i need you to marry me

→ alexandrasaintmleux sorry but i already asked

→ yn_ln i propose a throuple 

→ pierregasly how do i get a restraining order 

charles_leclerc tickets are going to be more expensive now, aren’t they

→ yn_ln you know you don’t have to pay 

→ landonorris i don’t get this treatment

→ yn_ln that’s because your boyfriend is mean to me

→ landonorris @/oscarpiastri i need you to be nicer to her so i get free stuff

→ oscarpiastri omg don’t agree with her. i am not your boyfriend 

zbrownceo congrats, superstar

→ maxverstappen1 no, she’s not your friend anymore 

→ mclaren you met her because of us??

→ maxverstappen1 irrelevant. she won’t be in your garage anymore

→ oscarpiastri i’m free! 

maxverstappen1 still in awe that my girlfriend is a grammy winner. you so deserved this

→ yn_ln my muse ❤️❤️

→ landonorris can’t believe this is how you’re telling the internet 

→ yn_ln no, you already did that for us 

→ landonorris haha oops 

yn_ln just posted

liked by liamlawson30, lilymhe and others

yn_ln ladies, don’t live with someone who makes your living room look like a trophy cabinet 

22,167 comments

maxverstappen1 you contributed to that, sweetheart. they’re not all mine

user1 the family photo with the cat is too cute 

user2 they’re living together?!?!

→ maxverstappen1 yes ☺️

→ user3 we love a down bad boyfriend 

landonorris this is going to ruin the tour

→ user4 what tour

→ landonorris the world tour

→ oscarpiastri she said i could be her back up singer this time

→ landonorris no she said i could! 

→ yn_ln i’d take you both, can’t split up the papaya boyfriends

→ landonorris we hate u 

user5 i love how even with a cute post she has to add in something a little spicy 

→ user6 his hand on her ass makes this post haha

danielricciardo love that you used one of the goofiest pics of him

→ yn_ln i was trying to use a nice one?

→ yn_ln  i have goofier

→ maxverstappen1 no she doesn’t

→ charles_leclerc alex says that you’re dating an international pop star, of course you look like just some guy 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i did not say it like that!

redbullracing we love our award winning couple 

yn_ln just posted

liked by kellypiquet, scuderiaferrari and others 

yn_ln you make me wanna make you fall in love || juno! out now. do not listen if you have sensitive ears 

20,004 comments

maxverstappen1 everyone look away, this was intended for my eyes only. do not like these photos 

→ yn_ln it was, hun but the label really liked the song 

maxverstappen1 where are you? come home. it’s important. i need you 🥵🫠

→ redbullracing it’s bad enough that your girlfriend tells the world she’s horny, don’t you start 

landonorris ew ew ew. my eyes. my ears

oscarpiastri i have never wanted to be your friend less 

user7 max verstappen, thank you for blessing us y/n fans with so many songs 

→ maxverstappen1 you’re welcome 

charles_leclerc i love the song but i did not need to be familiar with max in that way 

alexandrasaintmleux i actually forgot my own name for a second 

user8 wow this was an insight into their sex life that i didn’t think we would ever get 

francisca.cgomes you dropped something; my jaw

user9 i love how this confirms y/n and max are in this for the long haul this time though

user10 this is 100% a long-term committed announcement because she’s basically saying she loves him so much she wants to have his babies 

redbullracing we were supposed to tell you about needing to attend a pr meeting but we got distracted by how catchy this is 

→ mclaren have we lost you to that team? 

danielricciardo i actually wrote this

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

requests open

let’s be honest, if someone did write juno about max verstappen, they’d be talking about his mum’s genetics because no one wants to talk about jos 

tag list

@omgsuperstarg @seonghwaexile @evie-119 @alejandrablacklupin @nina-or-anna-or-nora @shelbyteller @raynetargaryan2 @astroniii @raizelchrysanderoctavius @azuramicah @seasonswinter @chaoswithus @casey1-2007 @chemiru @strengthandstay @ivanag1rl@anayaverse @formulaal @ellelabelle @yara011 @callsignwidow @freyathehuntress @floweringlee @isagrace22 @sunny44 @lottalove4evelyn @danielshoe @paucubarsisimp @monacosprince @stereading @hoeforsirius @anilovessadbooks @armystay89 @cassofheartsss @chaosandevelyn @thegalaxyisunfolding @ajordan2020

[f1daydreamer]

Against All Odds

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Single Mom!Reader

---

How They Met

You never thought you’d cross paths with a world-famous Formula 1 driver, let alone have him become a part of your little world. But life had a funny way of surprising you.

It all started on a rainy afternoon in Monaco. You had just finished grocery shopping with your three-year-old son, Luca, when the sky opened up. Balancing the bags and holding Luca’s tiny hand, you rushed under a café awning to avoid getting soaked. That’s when a voice—deep, slightly accented—spoke beside you.

“You okay?”

You turned to see Max Verstappen, hands stuffed in his Red Bull hoodie, watching you with curiosity. You knew who he was, of course. Even if you weren’t a die-hard fan, his face was everywhere in Monaco.

Luca, being his usual chatty self, beat you to responding. “Mama forgot my umbrella,” he informed Max with a dramatic sigh.

Max chuckled. “That’s tough, buddy. But rain is fun, no?”

Luca grinned. “Only if there are puddles!”

Max nodded in understanding. “Puddles are cool.” Then, he glanced at you, offering a small, almost shy smile. “Need some help?”

---

What started as a simple moment under the rain became something more. Max found himself drawn to you and Luca. He started frequenting the café where you worked, always finding an excuse to chat.

At first, you were hesitant. Your life revolved around your son, and the idea of letting someone in—especially someone with Max’s fast-paced, high-profile life—felt risky. But Max was persistent in the gentlest way. He didn’t rush. He didn’t push. Instead, he simply showed up.

He’d bring Luca small gifts from his travels—a toy car from Japan, a tiny Red Bull racing cap from Austria. He’d take time to play with him, letting Luca “race” his toy cars across the café tables while you worked.

And then, one evening, after walking you both home, he hesitated at your doorstep.

“I know this is a lot,” he admitted. “And I don’t want to overstep. But I— I care about both of you. A lot.”

You looked down at Luca, who was already half-asleep in your arms, his tiny fingers curled around Max’s hoodie string.

“You already feel like family,” you whispered.

Max smiled, brushing a stray raindrop from your cheek. “Then let me prove it.”

---

Max loved Luca as if he were his own. From the moment he truly became part of your lives, he embraced every bit of fatherhood that came with it.

Sunday mornings were for racing—well, toy car racing. Max and Luca would sit on the living room floor, each picking their “team” and dramatically announcing their “drivers.” (Luca always picked Red Bull, of course.)

Bedtime stories became a ritual, with Max reading animatedly about adventures, occasionally slipping in exaggerated Dutch accents to make Luca laugh.

Grocery trips turned into mini racing expeditions, with Luca sitting in the cart, pretending to steer while Max pushed it down the aisles like a pit stop crew.

And when Luca had nightmares? Max was there. Every single time. He’d scoop him up, hold him close, and whisper, “You’re safe, little man. I’ve got you.”

One evening, as you all sat curled up on the couch watching a movie, Luca suddenly turned to Max and asked, “Are you my dad now?”

Your breath caught, but Max, without hesitation, ruffled Luca’s hair and said, “If you want me to be, buddy.”

Luca grinned. “You can be my Max-Dad.”

And just like that, Max’s heart was no longer just his own—it belonged to you and your little boy.

Forever.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for that terrible one-shot I posted—if you can even call it that. I know it wasn’t my best, and honestly, I’ve been completely out of inspiration lately. Every time I try to write, my brain just blocks itself, and nothing good comes out.

On top of that, school is draining me. We’re so close to the end, yet our teachers keep throwing test after test and endless projects at us. It’s exhausting, and I barely have the energy to focus on writing.

I really appreciate you all sticking around and being patient with me. I promise I’ll be back with better content when I can! Thank you for understanding.

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

YOUNGER, FASTER, BETTER!!

arthur leclerc x male!verstappen!driver!reader

request: hmm. arthur leclerc x verstappen!driver!reader - happy with whatever format :) - @spoonfulofmilo

summary: you and your boyfriend are always compared to your older brothers.

warnings: hate comments, swearing, no written parts, affectionate bullying between arthur + reader, minor mentions of the red bull-ferrari rivalry (lighthearted)

arthur_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, dinobeganovic, and 221,897 others

arthur_leclerc in this house we support one (1) red bull driver and we'd support him a lot more if he was a ferrari driver 🥲❤️

tagged youruser

                comments

user1 lecstappen > lestappen idc idc

user2 arthur and y/n dating despite their older brothers were karting rivals is so endearing to me

youruser or you could just move to red bull 😁

arthur_leclerc never gonna happen, mon amour ❤️

user3 THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT THAT CHARLES AND MAX'S YOUNGER BROTHERS ARE DATING???

user4 they're so cute oh my lord

youruser

liked by pepemarti, logansargeant, and 182,429 others

youruser mexico, you were a dream 💙

(ft my lovely + insufferable boyfriend)

tagged arthur_leclerc

                comments

user5 i am so soft for them omg 😭

user6 something about y/n winning his f2 race when max's car is on a decline makes me sad :(

arthur_leclerc i am NOT insufferable!!!

youruser you spent an hour arguing with me over the pronunciation of stroopwafel this morning

arthur_leclerc you were saying it wrong!

youruser I'M LITERALLY DUTCH??????

user7 oh yeah i see why you guys like lecstappen now-

user8 i didn't think it was possible for them to be more chaotic than lestappen but they're so funny

arthur_leclerc

liked by christianmansell, olliebearman, and 281,470 others

arthur_leclerc autumn would be better with you x

tagged youruser

                comments

user9 no mention of charles being on the sprint podium in brazil ...

user10 right, but he talks about missing his "boyfriend" 🙄

user11 this is why you don't get promoted to formula one, you're dating a competitor

youruser how dare you look so Boyfriend when i'm not there to kiss you stupid :( 💙

arthur_leclerc *❤️ and you can kiss me when you get home

user12 genuinely how do they even think they're good together ... they're always arguing in the comments

user13 it's so cute how they always have a picture of the other in their posts

comments on this post have been limited.

youruser

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 283,921 others

youruser qatar feature done + dusted, onto abu dhabi for the last round of the season and testing!

bonus: a throwback to my lovely bf and his okay brother in monaco

                comments

user14 it's so obvious that max got all the talent ...

user15 the nerve of calling charles "okay" when he can't even get into f1 🙄

arthur_leclerc always love seeing you on the top step of the podium, mon amour ❤️

youruser only a matter of time before you're back there too 💙

user16 he's so ungrateful, posting a f*rrari win when red bull are literally the only reason he has a seat

user17 all the people in the comments acting like you can win races with money and talent isn't involved bffr

comments on this post have been limited.

redbullracing and scuderiaferrari

liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, and 890,374 others

redbullracing and scuderiaferrari THAT'S OUR ROOKIES!!

Arthur Leclerc and Y/N Verstappen set the exact same fastest lap time in the first session of post-season testing here in Abu Dhabi! Also known as the first drivers to race against each other while dating, the boys have proved once and for all that they are more than just the younger brothers of F1 stars Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen.

We look forward to their continued development and can't wait to see the greatness they inevitably achieve 💙❤️

                comments

user18 we got a joint post between rbr and ferrari before gta6??

user19 congrats to the best boyfriends on the internet!

user20 glad to see their teams finally standing up for them ... even by formula one's standards, the hate towards them was getting out of hand liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and others

youruser younger, faster, ...

arthur_leclerc better 😉

user21 future WDCs 💪

user22 if they ever have kids ... imagine rocking up to a karting competition and seeing the name VERSTAPPEN-LECLERC 😭

user23 good for them

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: i kinda think this is cute but lemme know if you guys hate it lol

comments + reblogs appreciated!

credits: pinterest for the photos!

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans

[lilghostiequinni]

Cuddles?

Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: Girlfriend!female reader x Lando Norris

Warnings: Fluffy, Established relationship,

Summary: All your boyfriend seems to want is cuddles, even when he's supposed to be working.

Requested: NO / yes

Lando was obsessed with you, with your boobs. He loved using them as pillows but still loved and was obsessed with you.

He loved cuddling you and just having his arms around you because you're always cold, and he's always way too hot.

There was just something about you that he couldn't get enough of.

To find him, people just had to find you because he didn't go very far from your side.

Fans absolutely adored the relationship you had with Lando.

They loved seeing the light in his eyes when he talked about you, or when you were mentioned in a conversation. That light in Lando's eyes was brighter when you were near.

They loved that light even more when Lando was disappointed with race results after his Miami win, because let's be honest it got brighter than any star in the sky when he won with you there to celebrate.

It was never a question on if you were going to be at a GP because it was mentioned many times that Lando hated being parted from you and you hated it just as much.

So when you were unable to attend the Belgium GP through the Azerbaijan GP it was concerning to fans because you never missed a race, but then you did, four in a row.

When Lando was asked about you disappearance from the Belgium and Dutch GPs, he said that you had something to do for work, which no one knew what it was and that you were with him over break so it was okay.

But in Azerbaijan when questioned about your absence he said that you were seriously only working because you had a real job that was relatively demanding.

When a cake was posted on Lando's Instagram account reading "Big Boobs, Big Heart," with the next photo being you at his hotel in Singapore, fans couldn't have been more over joyed.

On media day, Lando was asked about the cake and he explained that it was something you said and the team wanted to get you a cake for being back for the first time in months and he got to pick out the cake because he knew you the best.

It was like you were his lucky charm because he won the Singapore GP, dedicating it to you.

He pulled you over the barrier and it was the first time in months that people had seen your hands, because when the camera caught the moment, you showed your engagement ring to the whole world on international television.

A/N: A poll one-shot, it was tied for second/third with Oscar

Tags: @poppyflower-22 @samantha-chicago @barcelonaloverf1life @tallrock35 @ellen3101 @llando4norris @mcmuppet @issi-loves-dannyric @hellothere9597

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop

[stvolanis]

my minds just so full of thoughts of s3 rafe w/ his little housewife!!

he’s so freaking sweet. Gushing to all of his buddies at the country club about the cute little bell who makes him the best meals after a hard day of tormenting the pogues! And all of them are just like “yeah..uhuh..okay..” cause he never shuts up about you! But when you bring them all a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies with that warm smile on your face, they completely understand why Rafe is so smitten with you C:

Rafe would spoil you rotten for treating him so good! shopping sprees on the weekends, and duh, your nails are always done!! you said you wanted a new vintage von dutch mini skirt that barely covers your ass? Done! Rafe bough 5 of them in different colors and styles. Anything you look at for a little too long, or your fingers barely graze over, will be bought so beware!! Don’t even get me started on how Rafe would have flowers sent to you when he’s away on missions, always so pretty and fresh, and always your favorites.

but Rafes favorite part about his housewife? The way you let him stuff your cunt no matter what. You’re cooking? He’s got you bent over with his mushroom tip pounding at your cervix as you desperately try to flip the pancakes before they burn. you’re folding clothes? He’ll bounce you up and down on his cock till you lose focus of what you’re supposed to be doing, too drunk on the way he feels inside of you. Cleaning? Of course he stresses you out when his cum spills onto the freshly mopped floor, so he has you lick it up!! “S’not my fault it wouldn’t all fit in your mouth.” He’d huff out.

his breeding kink would be through the roof with you! his mind spirals at the thought of you with you belly round and swollen, evidence of how good he is to you. You’re so sweet and gentle, you’d be such a good mama to his kids! He can imagine himself walking into his home to the sight of you with a toddler that looks just like the both of you being bounced on your hip. You’d pepper him with kisses, and your little one would crawl out of your arms just to be with him.

Safe to say, Rafe is definitely obsessed with you.

don’t be shy, ask to be a part of the tag list and request things!!

TAG LIST: @elvisalltheway101 @epthedream69 @claire-elvisgirl @elvisrealgf @littlehoneyposts @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @luxuriouslokistan-3 @foxevxid @sapriao @parkbabyj @xiyingly @jazminsjaz @likeits2002 @www-interludeshadow-com @khxna @my-fabulousness-has-arrived @floredaqueen

[littlegrapejuice]

Flatline | LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Lando parties a bit too hard and needs to be patched up. Luckily, he can count on a pretty nurse.

Author's Note: I'M BACK MFS🙂‍↕️ it's been a while haha but enjoy this lil lando fic that was inspired by the song Flatline by 5sos!! Also happy new year hehe, hope everyone is doing good and i wish y'all the best for 2025🫶🏻

F1 MASTERLIST🏎

King’s Day 2024. Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Amongst all the drivers, people would’ve thought Max Verstappen the most prone to be sighted in public while celebrating his country on its national day. However, the one that was currently trending on social media was Lando Norris. Pictures as well as videos were being posted, reposted, and commented on every second. No one had expected Lando to spend the weekend away in the Netherlands in between two grand prix. But here he was, partying on a boat and even DJ-ing along with his good friend Martin Garrix.

Lando didn’t know whether people just didn’t care about him – seeing as the Netherlands were the home of one of the greatest drivers of the current generation – or if people actually didn’t know him. In any case, he was glad not to be disturbed by fans – even though he loved them – and be able to enjoy the day the same way everyone else was doing it: by partying, dancing, singing, and drinking.

Obviously, Lando was planning to be careful as he knew that his PR team would have his head if he did something stupid during his two-week break. But still, he was having fun like a typical twenty-four year old. He was having the time of his life. Dutch people definitely knew how to party on their national day, that’s for sure.

…..

A few hours later however, what everyone hadn’t been expecting was for Lando to end the day with bandages all over his face. As the surprise of him being in the Netherlands settled down after a while, pictures and videos stopped circulating around. Until fans all over the world were met with images of Lando with a bloody nose, a smile still on his face. People had no idea what had happened. No context had been given, only the speculation of Lando having drunk and partied too hard that he had hurt himself.

Fortunately for him, Lando had been able to count on you. Being a friend of a friend, you loosely knew Martin but had never really exchanged more than a few words with him. However, he was currently glad that the invitation to his boat party had managed to reach you as you were qualified to take care of Lando’s battle wound – his words. Being a nurse, and the only one with some medical knowledge on the boat, you had quickly reacted when people had started panicking after seeing Lando’s face starting to bleed.

To be honest, people had overreacted a bit. Because when you approached Lando to see the extent of the damage, you realised it was only a cut albeit the consequence of some glass. So although he wasn’t hurt very badly, you still suggested bringing him into the hospital where you worked. Obviously, Lando had refused at first as he pretended that everything was fine. He was. But just to be sure, you needed to give him a general check-up in a clean location as a random boat in Amsterdam wasn’t exactly the most hygienic place to patch someone up.

So after Martin also agreed to the idea, Lando had no choice but to listen to his friend and go with you. The Dutch told Lando that he would come get him later as he needed to bring his DJ equipment back home – he promised to be ready to give him a ride back from the hospital later on as he knew that Lando had a flight the next day. This is thus how you found yourself in a cab with none other than Formula One driver Lando Norris on the way to your workplace. Truth be told, you hadn’t expected to go there today. But you knew it was part of your job to be able to help anyone in need even if you were on your day off.

The ride had mostly been silent. Lando had been on his phone, probably texting a few people about his whereabouts, while you were focused on the next steps to do when you’d be arriving at the hospital. You were pleasantly surprised when Lando paid the driver without a second thought and told him to keep the change.

“I could’ve paid, you know. Thanks,” you told him as you entered the building.

“You’re taking care of me on what definitely seemed like your day off, so that’s the least I can do for you.” Lando smiled at you and even with the bandages around his face, he was still very good-looking.

“Still, I appreciate it. You can go wait in this room if that’s okay?” He nodded and you finished explaining what would happen next. “I just need to inform my manager I’m here, get some stuff for a small check-up, and then I’m all yours. I won’t be long.”

“Sounds perfect”, Lando replied with a grin.

True to your words, you were back in the room where you’d left the Brit less than ten minutes later. He noticed that you’d changed into your uniform – which you’d been lucky to have a spare here as your usual one was at your flat – and enjoyed the view of observing you in your element. Working in the medical field was your calling, and you didn’t see yourself anywhere else.

First, you removed the bandages that you’d wrapped around Lando’s face earlier before you cleaned up the small wound – properly this time, with adequate material. As Lando winced when you disinfected it, you apologised.

“Does it hurt much?” You asked.

“Not really”, he shrugged. “Just uncomfortable I guess.”

“Hmm, okay”, you nodded. “Tell me if there’s anything else at any point.”

Quickly finishing up, you were soon enough putting a band-aid on Lando’s nose. You debated offering to put a silly one originally designed for kids, but decided otherwise as you didn’t want to look weird for suggesting it. However, the driver had noticed your eyes drifting to them when you’d hesitated in which one to take, so he spoke up:

“You think you could actually give me one of those”, he wondered with a smile before adding. “The cute ones, there.”

When you saw that he was pointing at the Disney ones, you stiffled a laugh. You hadn’t expected him to directly ask for one himself, but you were kinda glad that he did. Amongst the different characters present, your choice was easily made.

“I guess that the Cars one caught your eye?” You raised an eyebrow, waiting to see if you were right.

“Bingo!” He laughed. “I’ll admit that Frozen was tempting but I gotta stay true to my roots.”

“Fair enough”, you chuckled. “Your job ain’t really much to do with building ice castles, or I��ve done my research wrong.”

“You looked me up?” Lando asked, the surprise obvious in his tone.

“Well, yeah?” You answered with a ‘duh’ tone as you gently put the Cars band-aid over the plain one you’d previously applied. “Even though the whole country supports Max and not many people care about the other drivers, I gotta know about the competition.”

“You think I’m competition to Max?”

“Of course! Anyone is: as long as Max isn’t the only driver racing on track, he has competition.”

Your explanation made Lando’s grin widen as he was glad to be considered in the same league as the Max Verstappen, especially by someone who lived in the Netherlands. To you, any other driver that had managed to be a part of the twenty that raced in Formula One was a good one – Lando included.

“He does have three more championship titles than me though”, Lando stated. “And God knows how many wins.”

“He’s had a good car for years,” you pointed out. “Your time will come, don’t worry. I can feel the papaya greatness for this year – though if I ever wear orange, it’s for Max.”

Not knowing what to reply to your words, Lando simply nodded while you put away the box of band-aids. You thought about the final steps of your check-up, and turned back to face the driver.

“Okay, so I’ll just put this on your finger to see your heart rate and then I’ll make you do a breathalyser if that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, no problem. Do your job, don’t worry.”

“Great, thanks.” You carefully clipped the pulse oximeter on Lando’s finger before stepping away. “I'll be right back in a minute.”

“Take your time,” Lando replied. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When you left the room, the Brit let out the biggest sigh of his life. Oh God, he thought. It seemed like you hadn’t realised how close you’d been to Lando as you were only focused on doing your job, but he hadn’t been able to take his eyes away from you. He really hoped you hadn’t noticed anything, as the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable at your workplace. Get a grip, Lando told himself while waiting for you to be back. Don’t fuck this up if you want a chance.

You came back into the room shortly after, a box in your hands – which Lando assumed to be the breathalyser. He knew he had drunk enough that he wouldn’t be allowed to drive, but he hoped he had sobered up enough after his trip to the hospital. After unboxing the breathalyser, you got close to Lando again and explained to him what he’d have to do.

“Nothing too complicated, don't worry. You’ll just have to exhale into this.” You showed him the object. “And I’ll tell you when to stop. Then, you’ll be good to go!”

Lando nodded in reply, even though he hadn’t really paid attention to the actual words you’d said. He had been more focused on your face and the way you’d gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face. He almost wished he’d been the one to do it, and he wondered if it was the remains of alcohol in his blood making him think that. He also wondered if he would still be attracted to you if he had met you while stone cold sober. But when you gave him a soft reassuring smile as you told him to be ready to blow into the breathalyser, he knew he would find you gorgeous no matter his state of mind.

What he didn’t know though, is if it was the alcohol or his attraction to you that was making his heart faster – both, to be honest. The result was the same: the machine was showing his heart rate quickening and Lando could perfectly hear it echoing in his head, which made his eyes widen at the thought that you would hear it too. Lando’s heart rate was actually the least of your worries as you were focused on the current task of measuring the level of alcohol in his blood, but it became the most important barely two seconds later when you heard the continuing beep that usually meant the lack of heartbeat.

“Your heart is going flatline!” You exclaimed in shock as you tried to quickly assess how Lando looked in order to find the cause. “Oh my God… oh my God, what the fuck is happening?!”

And while you were panicking, Lando realised that he had made a grave mistake. See, as he still wasn’t back to his normal state of mind, the driver thought that it was a wonderful idea to just remove the pulse oximeter from his finger so that you wouldn’t have noticed his heart rate speeding. But of course, you had immediately noticed the lack of constant beep from the machine and were currently still stressing – breathalyser completely forgotten.

Seeing your panicked state, Lando was now feeling extremely guilty and decided to come clean.

“I’m fine!” He was almost shouting. Hearing his voice made you stop in your tracks, and you looked at him with worry in your eyes. “Sorry”, he apologised. “I accidentally removed the thing, please calm down. I’m not dead.”

“Oh”, you could only answer. You felt awkward now. “That’s good, then.” You scratched your neck and nervously laughed. “It’s weird, it shouldn’t come off that easily unless it’s forcibly removed. Sorry if I gave you one that wasn’t properly working.”

And this was his last straw. Lando was now feeling even guiltier at your words, as you were going to blame yourself for using seemingly faulty equipment.

“Please don’t be mad, but… I-actually-removed-it-myself”, he said as quickly as he could.

“What?” You questioned with a tilt of your head.

“I removed the heart thingy myself because I didn’t want you to hear my heart rate.”

“Lando, that’s my job?”

“Yeah, but like…” He didn’t know what else to say, except for the truth – thank the alcohol for giving him the confidence to utter the next words. “I was just thinking about you, and you were looking super pretty while explaining stuff, and I wasn’t really paying attention to be honest, but then I felt like my heartbeat was going really fast, and you’d hear it, and you’d think I’m like weird, and–”

“Oh God, Lando calm down!” You put your hands on his shoulders so that he would look at you instead of the floor, and meeting your eyes silenced him. “You’re good, don’t explain yourself. I know that you’re not completely sober yet so your mind might make you do weird things. I’m just glad you’re alright and not suddenly a victim of a heart attack.”

“I don’t want you to see me as a crazy drunk guy right now!” He retorted, trying to clear his name. “Even sober, I’d think the same. Maybe not do the same stupid shit though…” He muttered the last sentence.

Silence now filled the room as you removed your hands from Lando and put them in your pockets before sighing. You tried to assess the situation and process his words. You’d had your fair share of people complimenting you in your workplace so Lando’s feelings weren’t that unusual, but it was still rare to end up in this type of situation. You thought for a minute about what to do while Lando stayed quiet. He was scared of dumb words leaving his mouth, so he didn’t want to take any more risks.

“Tell you what”, you caught his attention. “We finish this up, I clear you free to go, and maybe we can start over when you’re not my patient anymore. Sounds good?”

Still not trusting his words, Lando simply nodded. You then kept going with the last steps of your check-up before announcing to Lando that he was discharged. He had surprisingly sobered up quicker than you would’ve thought – maybe because of the heart rate incident – and his alcohol level wasn’t as high as you’d imagined it to be.

You walked him back to the entrance hall and asked him if Martin was here to get him. He briefly checked his phone and noticed a couple texts from the Dutch that were notifying him of his arrival in a few minutes. You therefore decided to wait with Lando, having all the time in the world – it was still your day off and you knew that the hospital wasn’t understaffed today, so there was no need for you to stay and give a hand.

As you were waiting in an excruciatingly awkward silence, Lando chose to man up and clear the previous situation up.

“I still think you’re beautiful,” he stated. “And I’d love to get to know you,” he added. “I know I’m not fully sober yet, but I’m almost there and my thoughts haven’t changed.”

“That’s good to know”.

“Good as in positive for me to shoot my shot?” Lando wondered with a nervous smile.

“You can try, I think your chances of success are pretty high right now.”

“Great.” His grin widened, and you couldn’t help thinking about how he was currently the beautiful one. “So, can we go out together one day? I know this great restaurant that my wonderful local friends told me about.”

“That’d be my pleasure”, you replied.

“When do you finish work?” He asked, even though he knew the answer.

“I’m actually done…” You feigned to analyse the time on your watch. “Right now. What a coincidence!”

“Coincidence indeed”, Lando agreed. He then took out his phone and gave it to you. “I’ll text you the location?”

“Sure”, you nodded. “Maybe not a full meal tonight, but I’m still down for a drink and snacks.”

“Works for me. Raincheck for a proper date then?”

“Come back for it once you have a race win under your belt”, you challenged.

“Deal”, he accepted. “I have really good motivation.”

“Tell you what, you can also get a wish if it’s the next race that you win.”

“A wish? Anything?” You nodded and Lando thought about ideas. “Kiss on the first date?”

“Alright, you’re on!” You sealed the deal with a handshake, a playful glint in your eyes.

Merely a couple seconds later, Martin was pulling up in front of the hospital which was yours and Lando’s cue to go your separate ways before meeting soon again.

…..

A week later following your semi-date with Lando, you were now watching him celebrate his first win on the top step of the podium in Miami. You couldn’t be prouder of him, and your first thought was to text him as soon as you saw him go back to his garage. You hoped that he’d have access to his phone soon enough and quickly drafted a message to congratulate him. Right before you sent it, your wish – and eventually his in the process – seemed to have been granted.

Flying back to you next weekend before imola

I’m expecting a welcome kiss👀

You chuckled at his texts, a blush appearing on your cheeks as you thought about how he was still serious about you, and deleted your initial message before sending a new one.

Wouldn’t have it any other way

Congratulations race winner! Can’t wait for the next ones, I knew your time was coming🧡

If Lando never imagined that being hurt could lead to him bagging a pretty nurse and getting his first Formula One win, he was now thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get a small wound before each race if it meant that you would take care of him and that he’d be lifting the winner’s trophy afterwards.

..........

Hope y'all liked this ^^ idk if it's common knowledge on here but I'm a HUGE 5sos fan and when i recently heard flatline after a while, i knew i had to write smth f1 related for this song (esp the chorus)

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated if you enjoy my writing<3 it means a lot to me and i love knowing what people think - apart from my bestie who's often my #1 fan haha

See you next time, take care🤍

[meazalykov]

yapper

barca femeni x reader

part one - part two here

summary: you always had something to say

warnings: angst, online hate

you've always been the one to fill the quiet. 

if the locker room was silent, you’d throw out a joke. sometimes so bad it would have everyone laughing just because of how ridiculous it was. your teammates loved you for it—or at least you thought they did. 

you didn’t want anyone to sit in nervous energy before a big game. you wanted everyone to feel at ease, to smile, to believe they could take on anything since this was literally barcelona– of course the best club in the world could handle anything. 

“why are you so loud?” mapi teased one day after you cracked a pun about her tattoos during a media day. 

you grinned at her. 

“because someone has to keep this team awake. what would you do without me? shit, i don’t know how you survived without me for long.”

“probably enjoy the peace and quiet,” she shot back, but the grin on her face told you otherwise. 

you knew mapi got all the credit for being the talker of the group, but you easily topped her in that department. kika often joked that you had a built-in microphone, always on and ready to broadcast. 

yet, despite all the jokes, you never felt like it was too much. not until recently. 

training sessions at barça were something you relished, even on your worst days. being surrounded by alexia, kika, and esmee—your closest friends on the team—always made it feel less like work. 

alexia was like a big sister, always ready to listen. kika was your partner-in-crime, teasing you relentlessly, but never crossing the line. esmee? she was your rock, her quiet presence balanced your constant energy, grounding you in ways you didn’t think anyone could. 

after a long training session one evening, you found yourself alone on the practice pitch. penalties were your weak spot, and you wanted to fix that. you lined up the ball, took a deep breath, and sent it toward the net. it hit the post.

“what are you doing here so late?” alexia’s voice startled you.

you jumped, clutching your chest dramatically. 

“you scared me! i could’ve died.”

she smirked, arms crossed as she walked closer. 

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“what are you doing here?” you tried to deflect.

“i asked first.”

rolling your eyes, you motioned to the ball. 

“penalties. i suck at them.”

alexia raised a brow. 

“you’re not even one of the main takers.”

“exactly! that’s why i suck! i need to be better in case i ever have to take one, you know what if you frido or ewa are not available?” you rambled, launching into an explanation of all the ways penalties terrified you. 

alexia didn’t interrupt, just watched you with that calm, almost maternal expression she always had. 

“you’re overthinking it,” she finally said, cutting through your spiral. 

“just keep practicing. you’ll be fine.”

her reassurance helped more than you wanted to admit. alexia had that effect on people, like she could carry all your worries on her shoulders and not even flinch. 

a few days later, you stopped by esmee’s apartment, where she was curled up on the couch with her girlfriend, dani. the sight of them together tugged at something in your chest, a reminder of what you used to have with emily. 

“finally over her,” you announced as you plopped down beside them, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on esmee’s lap. 

“who?” danielle asked, clearly out of the loop. 

“emily,” esmee filled in. “her ex.”

“oh, good for you,” danielle said with a smile through her dutch accent. 

“it’s about time, right?”

you laughed, nodding. 

“yeah, it only took me almost a year.”

however, later that week, you saw something that made your chest tighten all over again. scrolling through instagram, you stumbled upon a photo of emily with another girl, their smiles wide and carefree in north london. 

it shouldn’t have mattered. you were over the woman three years your senior. however, it stung in a way you didn’t expect. 

then came the champions league quarterfinal against bayern munich. the mistake was small—a misplaced pass, a missed mark—but pernille made you pay for it with a screamer that tied the game. 

1-1. 

after the game, you did your best to shake it off, smiling for the cameras, joking with alexia and frido. you thought you’d done well hiding your disappointment. 

the internet didn’t let it slide. 

“y/n talks too much. maybe she should focus on her game instead.”

“doesn’t she get tired of hearing her own voice?”

“the team probably wishes she’d shut up for once.”

the comments were harsh, cruel, and loud in your mind. you tried to brush them off, but the words stuck, clinging to you like thorns. 

the next day at training, you were different. quieter. focused. when kika asked if you were okay, you only nodded, too afraid that anything you said might annoy someone. 

“you sure?” she pressed.

you nodded again, forcing a small smile. 

“weird,” she muttered under her breath, walking away. 

alexia and aitana exchanged glances, both noticing the shift. esmee tried to pull you into a conversation during a water break, but you only offered short replies, your usual energy gone. 

that night in the locker room, after everyone else had left, you stayed behind, the weight of it all finally crashing down on you. in the showers, the tears came hard and fast, your shoulders shaking as you tried to keep quiet. 

though the locker room echoed, and when you emerged, changed and ready to leave, alexia, kika, esmee, and ellie were waiting for you. 

“we heard you crying,” kika said softly, her eyes full of concern. 

“what’s going on?”

you hesitated, swallowing hard. 

“nothing.”

“don’t lie,” alexia said, her voice gentle but firm. 

“i don’t…” you trailed off, taking a deep breath. 

“i don’t want to annoy you guys.”

they all looked at you like you’d grown a second head. 

“annoy us?” esmee asked, incredulous. 

“i talk too much. i saw what people were saying online, and… maybe they’re right.”

“y/n,” alexia started, stepping closer. 

“we love you. all of us. you make this team better, not worse.”

“you think we don’t look forward to hearing your ridiculous jokes every day?” kika added, her tone light but sincere. 

“you’re the reason we laugh half the time.”

“is that mistake against bayern bothering you?” ellie chimed in. “it happens to everyone. it doesn’t define you.”

their words broke through the wall you’d built, and before you knew it, they were pulling you into a group hug. 

“promise us you won’t let those comments get to you again,” alexia said, her hand on your shoulder. 

you nodded, sniffling. 

“i promise.”

“good,” kika said, grinning. 

“now, what were you going to say about the athletic club match?”

and just like that, you found yourself rambling again. they listened, laughing and teasing you like always, reminding you that this was where you belonged. 

part two here

[bunny-jpeg]

bunny, dearest!! i’ve truly been craving some spicier brownies lately, perhaps with a side of coffee. oh, and a mocha, too, for max ☕️ xx

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want to submit your own order? then hit up the menu! there's tons of options to choose from! so please, check it out! i also accept prompts outside of f1! i've recently added some new prompts, so i hope you enjoy them! as for this anon, thank you for the lovely request! it's a lot of chocolate (yum)! i hope you enjoy!

and check out the master-list

brownies ("you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours.") + coffee (rivals au) + mocha (breeding kink) served by max verstappen (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, rivals au, ferrari driver!reader, breeding kink, pregnancy, dirty talk, rough sex, mean!max, doggy style

max had his fair share of rivals. from being the best along side lewis hamilton to the childhood rivalry he shared with charles leclerc. while he was able to brush those off, laughing about how it was all in good fun. part of the game was to be able to go wheel to wheel with another driver.

you, on the other hand. ferrari's little trail blazer. needed to be put in your goddamn places. especially when you made him dnf at the dutch grand prix.

"you're a bitch."

"and you apparently don't know how drive." you shoved max away from you. you could feel the anger radiating off of him.

"they should've never let you on the track. not when you're driving like a madwoman. they should revoke your license, you bitch."

this was the face of mad max. the stubborn, aggressive, almost insane driver that they let on the track at seventeen. but you held your ground as you spat back, "aw, is someone made that daddy was watching you spin out? is that why you're getting in my goddamn face you fucking prick!"

max could feel his lip twitch. he grabbed you by the front of your ferrari shirt and kissed you deeply. you were both in your hotel room, which max bulled himself into. now you were pressed against the back of the door with max's hands digging into the front of the shirt.

there was a moment of silence, the two of you looking at one another. two rivals till the bitter end. then it happened. you kissed one another with a hot fever.

when you pulled away, you saw the tension leave his shoulders. you said, "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours." then ran your thumb across his soft lips, "is that all you needed? a kiss. what are you twelve?"

he exhaled deeply through his nose before he said, "no, i need to fuck you." then he took your shirt from the bottom and started to get you undressed.

sneakers kicked off by the door. your shirt over the couch, his jeans thrown in the direction of the window. your panties ended up over the nightstand and the rest of your clothes were in various places around the room.

max had you pinned under him, your ass up against his hard cock. the rush of today's race still sparked in your minds as he rubbed his achy cock against your wet cunt.

"you're a bad girl." he said.

"oh yeah? what does that make you, verstappen? god of the track? coming to give me salvation?" you groaned as he he pushed his achy cock inside of you. you exhaled deeply and arched your back.

he chuckled as he sank in all the way, his breath came through his teeth, "yeah. i am." he sounded almost cocky and it made a shiver run through you. he watched you hold onto the white sheets of the hotel bed. you felt good.

you have had sex before. this wasn't a new thing for either of you. he had multiple times buried his cock into your pussy and fucked you until the headboard put a dent in the wall. until the likes of your teammate (max's other rival) was banging on the shared wall to get you to shut up.

max's grip was possessive, there was little tenderness between you two as he rutted against you. he could feel the heat bloom in his face as he curved over you. making sure that his cock got into the softest parts of you. he was going to make sure that he kept you under him. and off the track, not when you felt this good against him.

your pretty cunt clung to him like a vice as he felt the heat flare up to his ears. he panted heavily like a dog as you whined in response like something more needy. his pace was erratic and the throb in his chest was noticeable. it all felt so hot and it burned both of you.

"you look good under me. where you belong. right at the bottom of the grid." he laughed, a little darkness to his tone. he could feel the sweat on the back of his neck as he continued to move. it all felt painfully hot for him.

you hissed between heavy thrusts and gripped onto the covers under you. you replied, "i want to see your downfall, verstappen."

he chuckled and kissed at you neck. he held onto you tightly and pressed more of his weight onto you. he said, "right, right. you want me to crash, you want me to retire. i've heard it all. but, i'm not retiring." he kissed the shell of your ear and said softly, "you are though."

"in your dreams." you arched your back a little bit. you panted heavily, "not until i get my world championship."

max snickered to himself as he continued to move against you. moving your hips alongside his cock. you gasped into the covers at the sensation and knew that your career was going to be swift and short. after all, who was going to take care of his baby?

he didn't want to leave his child with you alone with nannies. no, they had to be with their mother. which meant hanging up the helmet and picking up toys. the thought excited him as he continued to bully his cock up against your pussy.

he let himself indulge in your sweetness. it all felt so good.

"you're a sick fuck." you whined, "next time i'll make sure you dnf again. i'm going to snatch that trophy out of your hand."

he pressed himself up against, you almost bending you in half. his weight left you squirming pathetically under him. he chuckled, "right, right." he almost laughed at the thought. you with the world champion trophy.

the only thing you were going to be a champion at the end of this season was how good you could take max's cock. but that's alright, if you do a good job, he'll get you a little trophy.

you groaned into the covers soon after, the pleasure washed over you. and you almost hit your fist against the covers. you felt the heat in your brain as you groaned into the pillows. max only took it as a sign to fuck you harder. he watched your ass bounce as he fucked you with a renewed energy. when he came he grit his teeth and panted heavily against you.

he could feel his cock throb inside of you as he came. cum being spat out into the back of your womb. part of him prayed that this time it would take. but then again, you two had a whole rest of the season to make that happen.

you may not be getting your trophy at the end of the year. but max will let you kiss it after he holds it over his head. he had to be a good husband after all.

-

"you're insane if you think i'm wearing the red bull logo." you held your head high. your arms crossed over your chest.

max crowded into your space with one of his shirts in hand. he said lowly, "well the ferrari ones aren't fitting anymore are they?"

you placed a hand on the middle of his chest to get him to step back. you said, "i can always ask charles or lewis to give me a new size." you were currently almost seven months pregnant with your first child.

apparently the hate fuck after the dutch grand prix resulted in a little accident. in the heat of it all and the insanity of the week's race, you were basically without protection. and thus the next generation of racer was conceive.

even though you and max were about to get married, you refused to wear the gaudy colours of red bull. just because you retired early to have you son, didn't mean you were max's kept woman. you already had plans to work with mercedes after the birth of your son. anything but red bull.

he reached for your belly and gave it a rub, "just make my life easier."

you stepped towards him, now crowding his space. you took him by the jaw and made him look at you. you chuckled a little, it was amusing, "max, if you wanted a woman that wasn't going to bust your balls. then you shouldn't have gotten your rival pregnant."

even as his future wife, you still got under his skin. as he wrapped his strong arms around you, he said, "you're going to be the death of me."

you smiled at him, "good, i bet the insurance check will be lovely." <3

[keferon]

Bonus part 1.5 that got lost in drafts. Deadlock and Hot Rod play catch with the brain cell.

———————————————————————

Yep.

Deadlock had lost his mind.

And he knew that for certain because the concept didn’t bother him anymore.

The humans were both out cold by the time earths sun came creeping behind the tree line. Deadlock didn’t quite get back into recharge that night, but he still felt oddly refreshed come morning.

It’d gotten uncomfortably warm (for a cybertronian) inside the hangar so Deadlock slipped out into the cool morning air. Finding a relatively dry spot of pavement to take a seat and watch the sun slink higher.

Speaking of which.

“I know you’re there little squishy.” Deadlock purred in his best Decepticon drawl, the sort of tone that made lesser mechs rethink their current life choices.

The field of mischief that had prickled his back was dampened by disappointment before immediately springing back to happy.

Hot Rod gave up on being sneaky and climbed onto his leg.

“Eh, I’ll get the drop on you again some other day.”

Deadlock opened a palm in offering and grinned at Hot Rods immediate look of glee. He was a lot smaller than Ratchet. More wiry.

“How was your. . . uh,” Deadlock tapped a claw trying to remember the human equivalent word. “Sleep! Stuff.”

Hot Rod snorted while inspecting his claws.

“It was good! Had a nightmare a huge alien was eating the shatterdome at first and I was naked but then Pow Pow!” He punched in between Deadlocks fingers.

“A huuuuge mecha came down and WHAM.” Hot Rod jumped from hand to the other, acting out some sort of wrestling move. “It totally wiped the floor with it. Pretty sure it wasn’t you or me because the paint job was mostly white.” He rolled into a crisscross position.

“And I think I wasn’t naked anymore? At some point I started eating pancakes too.”

“Sounds like a pretty good nightmare.”

Deadlock was lightly bouncing Hot Rod in his hand, getting a feel for the weight, when felt Hot Rods field slowly tighten and loose some shine.

He stopped and Hot Rod looked up at him. “Did anything. . .else happen?”

“Mm, no. Well, yeah.” Roddy waffled, picking at the seam of Deadlocks thumb. “I dreamed I was eating pancakes with my brother.”

Deadlock moved his thumb across Hot Rods lap. Partially because the picking kinda hurt but mostly because for Deadlock, doing came easier than saying the right thing.

He leaned over the offered thumb and relaxed into the feelings of happy and sad. “I miss him.”Rod laughed once, field getting lighter. “He constantly tried to Dutch oven me as kids but-“

Hot Rod suddenly straightened up and looked him dead in the optics, searching.

Before Deadlock could explain himself for messing with his field, or thinking about slapping him across the hangar, or whatever other faux pas his processor could drum up for reasons why Hot Rod was looking at him like that-

Hot Rod dissolved into an absolute fit of manic cackling, slapping a hand against his palm.

“Wha- why are you laughing?” Because Deadlock really needed to fragging know if humans could suddenly read minds or else living with Ratchet was going to get very awkward quickly.

“You- he he,” Hot Rod wheezed, “you both have the same big-ass eyebrows!”

Deadlock stayed stock still. Processor taking a click to catch up. Soon his plating was shaking with the effort of not laughing. Eventually, the assassin comprised for snickering.

Hot Rod recovered quickly, laying flat on his back, humming interspersed with residual giggles.

“Knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Deadlock got a hold of himself and lifted the little pilot to optic level. On a whim, he closed his fist around Hot Rod, as gently as Ratchet taught him, and when he didn’t find any discomfort in his field, turned him upside down.

Hot Rod grinned and wiggled his feet, onboard with whatever game they were now playing.

“Why do you trust me?” Deadlock mumbled, curious.

“Well for starters Ratchet trusts you.” He pointed out the obvious.

“Hmm, he’s a lot more cranky about getting picked up though. And he definitely wouldn’t let me dangle him like this for no reason.” Deadlock tilted his head to look at the human from a more leveled angle.

“Ratchet, let’s you pick him up?” Awe and disbelief radiated outwards.

“Well, yeah?”

“Dude.”

Okay yeah, fair argument.

Deadlock rolled Roddy back upright, releasing him. He made a bowl with both hands which Hot Rod took as invitation to start rocking back and forth.

“Okay, okay. That’s a pretty good reason for you to trust me. But why should I trust that you won’t blab about me to someone who shouldn’t know?”

Hot Rod stood up and leaned against one thumb, leveling a look at Deadlock. “Ask me about the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

Deadlock raised a totally normal sized eyebrow.

“Hoookay. What’s the most embarrassing moment of your life?”

Hot Rod looked him straight in the optics with an unwavering field that exuded pure assuredness.

“It once took me 45 minutes to make non-flavored half-cooked instant noodles.”

Deadlock reset his optics.

“What?”

“Do you believe me?”

“What? I- yes? Why did you tell me that?”

Hot Rod started moving back and forth across his hands, pushing off of his raised thumbs.

“Because! Everyone who ranks above me back at base think they’re smarter than me, so whenever I gotta lie about something I just make up something even stupider than whatever I’m actually doing.”

“So what’s stupider than playing with a giant metal alien you met yesterday?” Deadlock had started raising and lowering his hands to give Hot Rod more momentum.

“Makin’ ramen again.” Hot Rod started adding somersaults into the mix.

“For two days?”

Roddy paused, doing a handstand. “I have a reputation.”

He fell backwards and landed on his feet on Deadlocks other hand.

“I mean, I’m best known for piloting the world’s biggest fire hazard, so ya know.”

Deadlock was thoroughly enjoying his new fidget toy, so much so he almost lost concentration on the conversation.

“Hmm, but your built for that yeah?”

Hot Rod picked up some speed, excited picking up in tandem.

“Oh yeah sure. Now my mechas built for that. But the first time I caught on fire it was by accident and in the middle of a fight.” He paused, grinning at Deadlock with a look a little more wild than usual. “I won by the way.”

The pilot alternated between somersaulting, sliding and swinging back and forth while not breaking conversation.

"So you caught on fire and just kept fighting anyways?"

"Yup! Turned out to be an awesome way to get out of any grapple instant-“ Hot Rod huffed, tucking into another roll, "-taneoulsy!"

———————————————————————

Missing part I wanted to write but hadn’t had the full concept for before. I really love writing for Hot Rod and the constant whiplash he gives everyone around him

Please if you want to laugh so very hard watch this video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MWQndxwG7yA

-SSTP

Ah fuck I didn't plan to catch any more feelings today BUT HERE I AM NOW APPARENTLY AHAHAH You are SPOILING US AREN'T YOU

Seriously though. You write them in such a fun way. Your fics are always. Fucking. Literally force my face to smile jajkfkhmhv they are packed with serotonin how dO YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT?? Roddy and his sillyness is literaly contagious. Deadlock is doomed. Me and all of us too. I'M FINE. I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT YOUR FICS SEE??

Also I definitely didn't spend half an hour mentally looking through every character I know trying to see which one of them would be Roddy's brother