#the best part about the episode me thinks

[hugheshischier4313]

YOU MISS HIM DON'T YOU | Q. HUGHES

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Quinn Hughes x fem!reader 

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | Emotional cheating (not on Quinn),  angst, fluff, oblivious!reader and Quinn, soft!Quinn, neighbors-to-lovers, reader x OC (Andrew, reader's boyfriend), alcohol, flirting. 

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | Months into your friendship with Quinn the two of you finally admit to what's been there all along. 

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Based on a scene in Season 3 of Desperate Housewives (No spoilers in the writing. Bolded words are quoted from the show): “Don't tell me nothing happened. We’ve been fighting over this all week. You miss him, don't you?”

𝗪/𝗖 | 6.8K

𝗔/𝗡 | hi lovelies, thank you for being patient with me for the full fic of this idea. The lines indicate time jumps, they jump back and forth to different scenarios of reader and Quinn through the time they have spent together. I absolutely love these two and this idea and I couldn't find a perfect ending. I rewrote multiple endings and ultimately decided to just make a part two when I finally figure it out. Hope you enjoy, love ya!

It had been a wonderful night, the wine glass in your hand still full, the bottle sitting on the coffee table. The random episode of Bob's Burgers in the background forgotten, adding nothing more than a soft glow to the room. As you sat there listening to Quinn talk about his summer back in Michigan, you found yourself examining him. The way his eyes roam the room as he speaks, the smiles before he lets out a laugh and the way his hands run through his hair occasionally.

"You should have visited, even for just a weekend. You would have thought this was way more entertaining if you were there." Quinn teased as he finished his story. You pushed down the feeling of guilt as you smiled back at him, poking a finger into his shoulder. "I wouldn't have let you live it down if I had been there. So it's probably for the best," You teased back, but the truth was you had wanted to visit Quinn over the off-season, but when the time came, life had another plan.

_________________________________

"You should come down for the week. The sunrise and sunset alone would make the trip worth it. Imagine spending your week off by the lake, a beautiful sky for you to take pictures of. I can send you a ticket, just say the word." As the smile crept onto your face, so did the slightest tinge of pink. You had been putting away groceries when your AirPods had read the message out loud. Quinn had a habit of making fun of your love for the sky. Always calling you out, shrieking, 'The sky is so pretty' like you had repeatedly done (in a terrible attempt to match your voice). You swear you could hear it through the text despite him being over 2,000 miles apart. 

When Andrew's call came through, you found your phone and typed the text about sending it. "Y/N! I got it, I got the promotion!" His voice came booming out, and the excitement was evident in his voice. "Congratulations, Andrew!" you reciprocated his excitement. "And what better time than before you have a week off. I was thinking of going away for the week, maybe Banff? I'll rent us the cabin we had when we went last time." He kept ranting, too excited to keep anything in, but his voice was drowned out by the thought of Quinn. 

"I have to go, but I'll send you the flight information later tonight. I can't wait to see you." Andrews's voice didn't falter, almost like he was on autopilot, just rambling what he knew to say. They exchanged their quick goodbyes before he hung up. 

As if to taunt you, the next sound into your ear was' NEW MESSAGE FROM QUINN 'Or even just for the weekend if you have other plans for your week off.' As you looked back down at the phone and saw the unset message,  'A whole week of sunset pictures? Count me in Q'; the thought of deleting it weighed heavily on you. 

The truth was you had truly missed Quinn this summer. You had moved to Vancouver for grad school in the fall, and as luck would have it, Quinn lived in the apartment next to you. In the past 10 months, you had known each other; the only time you hadn't seen each other was when he had away games. And even then, when he returned, he made it up to you by devoting time to be with you. He bought you a postcard from all the cities he played in, and you had them displayed on your fridge. He signed all of them after the few glasses of wine you shared after one of his longer roadies.

You had (in your tipsy state) jokingly told him to sign one so you could sell them if he ever decided to be a jerk to you. And as he did, you knew you could never sell them; they meant too much to you. He had made a joke about writing nonsense on them to lower the value if you tried. Over the off-season, you found yourself religiously turning them over to look at his little notes, his penmanship holding inside jokes that you held dear to your heart.

As you stood there staring at the postcards on your fridge, thinking of the brunette, you couldn't help but feel the guilt in your chest. The nagging thought that your friendship with Quinn may not be as platonic as the two of you acted.

Why were you standing there thinking of another man when you were just on the phone with your boyfriend? You hadn't and would never cheat on Andrew, but the world seemed to disappear when you were with Quinn. Time slipped by faster, and you longed to sit on a couch with him again.

And at that moment, it had become apparent that you no longer had a choice; you had to choose between the two men, Andrew or Quinn? But then again, it wasn't really a choice between the men; it was a choice between right and wrong.

'Sorry Quinn, I can't this week. Take lots of pictures for me. Can't wait to see them when you're back.' Send. It was vague, and you knew he could send them to you whenever, but you also knew that, at least for this week, he couldn't be your primary focus. You needed to focus on your partner and his accomplishments.

_________________________________

As you had sat in a surprisingly unpopulated section of the airport for a Friday night, you haphazardly skipped through Instagram stories until you were faced with Quinn's private story of him on the boat with his friends. You had no reason, or right, to be this upset, but as you looked at the sunset on the picture's horizon, you couldn't stop yourself from hitting the call button. 

The phone barely rang once before you heard his voice, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Hey, I was j-" His voice was laced with exhaustion as if whatever physical activity he was doing was still fresh. And you found yourself more clam than you had been in days. Oh, how you had missed his voice.

"Are you upset with me?" The words were rushed and tumbled out before you could comprehend the repercussions. You knew that now was not the time to be having this discussion. You were sitting in the corner seats at the airport, waiting for your plane to begin boarding. But it had been two days since that last message you sent, and you had heard nothing from Quinn.

You had been a little hurt when you spent all of Thursday waiting for a response from the brunette. He had never taken more than a few hours to respond to you, which is why you had given him the benefit of the doubt that Wednesday night after you sent the last message. But now that you had spent the entirety of your workday contemplating writing a new message, you were upset, and the Insta story had only added fuel to the fire.  

"No, of course not. Why?" His voice was genuine and calm, a nice contrast to the loud background on both sides of the phone. You figured he was still on the boat with his friends. "Oh, I just figured you were upset since I haven't heard from you." You felt stupid for calling and continuing to talk despite it being obvious he wasn't alone. "But I'll let you go; sorry for calling." you hit the red button before you had time to overthink. Your voice had become weak, and you hated that you were taking time away from him and the time he had to spend with his friends and family.

You had the overwhelming feeling to cry, but you didn't know if it was because of guilt for Andrew or Quinn or because any doubts you had that Quinn was mad at you had disappeared. NEW MESSAGE FROM QUINN: 'Give me 10 minutes, I'll call you back'. The message held an inevitable dominance over it; there was no question that it was a conversation that had to happen, and it had to happen now. 

_________________________________

Quinn had known about your boyfriend from the very beginning. He had seen you together, bringing boxes to the apartment beside his, and noticed you immediately. He wished he could say it had all been innocent, but the first thing he saw was how your legs looked in the tennis skirt you had been wearing. You bent down to pick up a fallen pillow as he exited his car in the parking garage. His eyes lingered on you, and he forced himself to turn away before you noticed. He swore he would offer to help you before he met eyes with Andrew as he stepped out of the parking garage elevator.

"I didn't mean to; it just happened. You were bent over, in a skirt, right outside my car; it was hard to look away when I didn't expect you to be there." Quinn had a slight pink tone to his features right now, and you were smiling, trying to suppress a laugh. You stood in the kitchen, pouring the margaritas into your cups.

"You mean the skirt I'm wearing right now? Is that why you mentioned it? Quinn, you could have kept that secret forever. I mean, you couldn't waterboard that information out of me." You were always more giggly when drinking, which was contagious to Quinn. "But since you didn't, I'm gonna use this against you for the foreseeable future."  The laugh left you when you got back to Quinn's couch. "I'll try not to make any sudden movements that may catch you off guard," you teased as you stood before him and handed him his drink.

"It's not funny; I've felt bad about this for months." he tried to be serious, but the smile never left his face. As you nodded with a smirk on your lip, you turned from him after he grabbed the glass, "Y/N, I'm serious." He wasn't; he could never stay upset with you, even in a joking manner. 

"I guess I'll just go back to my apartment then; I don't want to bring back any of your past shame." your body once again turned towards him as you leaned down over to hug him, "Bye, Hughes, I'll make sure to only wear this when you're out of town." He let out a sarcastic 'ha.' "You don't have to leave; I can control myself. I promise." he rolled his eyes and slowly got up to stop you.

"I don't know; I think the only logical answer is to wear your Drew sweats." You had pivoted and ran to his room before he could reply. You had bugged him countless times to try them on over the past months; you had just wanted to see if they were worth the hype because the black sweats had been sold out forever (and maybe, subconsciously, because of your past love for Justin Bieber). And every time he said no, you took this as your opportunity to try them and bug him simultaneously.

Being in Quinn's room was familiar to you. You had spent most days at one of the two apartments, and sometimes that meant laying in his bed watching TV after he had just returned from a string of away games or after a challenging game or practice. You had worn his clothes before, too; it was always in a platonic way, the first time you had locked yourself out after being out on a run when it started raining. You lost your key on the run, and the concierge was gone for the night. You had also spent the night; he let you sleep in his bed and took the couch. 

As you ran into the room, you closed the door behind you and walked into the closet, closing that door, too. You had found the sweats and slowly walked out of the closet. There was no sight of Quinn, and the bedroom door was still closed. You walked towards the door, sweats in your hand, as you called out to him, "Q? Are you -" But you were cut off as he tackled you onto the bed next to you.

The two of you lay on the bed laughing before turning to face each other. The laughter died down, and you were smiling and looking at each other. The two of you lay there for a while, not saying anything until you broke the silence, "Your eyes are a different color every time I see you, but today I can see every shade in them." You don't know why you needed to share your observation with him, but it felt right. "You cut your hair." He reached out to tuck a strand behind your ear and play with the end of another. His voice had been so him, soft yet dominant. It was true; you had gotten a slight trim the day before and a few longer layers at the bottom of your hair, a small and simple detail that could have been missed. In fact, he was the only person to notice; none of your classmates or even Andrew, although over Facetime, had noticed. 

The room felt heavy as you looked from his hand in your hair to his eyes again, stopping to look at his lips for a second. And when you reached his gaze, it was unreadable. "I -" A phone began to ring as Quinn was about to speak. You could see a shift in his demeanour as you continued to look at him. He got up to find the cause of the sound. "It's your phone." He walked it over to you before heading out to the living room again. The phone illuminated ANDREW CALLING.

You looked towards the empty doorway as you brought the phone up to your ear. "Hey you," your playful voice sounded forced, and the smile on your lips was even more so. "Hey, I have a surprise for you. The notification said it was in the lobby." This shocked you, not only because it was a surprise but because Andrew was never one for small gestures. It was always something big like him ordering 4 dozen roses to your desk after your fourth date. But he had never just sent you or given you something randomly.

Andrew could be a sweet guy; you worked together before he asked you to have dinner with him. You knew you were moving and had no intention of starting anything serious before moving to Vancouver, but he had been so persistent, and it felt nice to have a distraction with all the craziness of moving. But living in different provinces has brought no comfort to either of you. It felt like pen pals most of the time. You would call him a few times a week and talk for an hour before he had to go. There had been a few times where you could have sworn you heard someone else there, but the times you mentioned it, it felt like the fight had been more trouble than the issue itself.

And maybe subconsciously, you felt like a hypocrite. Your relationship with Quinn was platonic, but the number of times you were confused as a couple in public could be seen another way. In fact, you hated to admit it, but it felt like you communicated more with Quinn when he was away than with your boyfriend. 

"There's something for me in the lobby of my apartment complex? Andrew, what did you do? It's 7pm?" As you started talking, Quinn walked into view, bringing your drinks and extending to you. "It's a surprise; you should go get it now; I'm assuming it's just on the concierge desk based on the picture." You stared up at Quinn as you listened to Andrew, "Okay, I'll be down in a minute, and I'll call you back once I have it." The phone call was quickly over. 

"What did you order?" Quinn asked with a smile, used to all the packages you've received. A few that had been too heavy for you to carry on your own that Quinn had taken himself. Even when they hadn't been too heavy, he would carry them for you if he was there. "I'm not sure, Andrew sent it to me." You could have sworn there was a look on his face that was gone as quickly as it appeared. "You want me to go with you in case you need help?" there was no hesitation in your quick reply of 'yes.'

As the two of you walked down the hall, you were overly aware of the distance between you. It was no different than it had been in the past, but there was a particular charge. The words shared and unshared in the bedroom hung heavy. "So I never got to even put the sweats on," you joked while waiting in front of the elevator. "You can borrow them when we get back up if you want," his answer made your breath hitch. He had never let you try them on, much less borrow them.

He looked at you, letting you walk into the elevator first. The ride down was quick and quiet, but how you looked at each other made everything race faster. Your heartbeat quickened as you saw his slight deviation towards your lips before making their way back up. "Quinn," your voice came out as a low plea; whether it was to continue or to stop was uncertain. He stepped closer to you as the two of you stood in silence for a brief moment before the doors opened. As you stepped out, your heart felt heavy.

As you made your way towards the front desk, you saw the back of a man at the desk, but when you heard the voice,  it made you freeze. Andrew he was in your lobby waiting for you, Quinn failed to notice your pause and ran into you. However, before you could tip forward, Quinn had steadied you with a hand on your arm and waist. Andrew called out when he turned around. 

"Andrew! What are you doing here?" You didn't miss the look he gave the sight of the two of you or how his gaze only lingered on Quinn's hand on your waist as he walked closer. You unhooked yourself from Quinn to hug Andrew. The hug was stiff; he held himself higher, and his head hadn't moved from the position it had been in before. You figured he was still looking at Quinn. 

"I wanted to surprise you; we settled a case earlier than expected, so I took a few days off." You had pulled yourself to his side, a view of both him and Quinn. They kept looking towards each other, completely ignoring you. "Well, Andrew, this is my friend I always tell you about, Quinn. He introduced himself the day I moved in, remember? He lives next door to me." Andrew smiled down at you as you continued. "Quinn, you remember Andrew." Quinn looked from you to Andrew before extending his hand. "Good to see you again, man." Andrew hesitated before shaking his hand. 

There was a quick silence before Quinn grabbed his phone from his pocket and looked at the screen, excusing himself, "I have to make a phone call; I'll see you around," but before he could walk off, you gave him a side hug goodbye. You had done it a thousand times before, and feeling like you couldn't because Andrew was there didn't feel like a good sign, so you did it anyway. "I'll text you," you quietly said as you let go.

The next few days had been uneventful, showing Andrew around Vancouver. The hallway had felt unusually empty each time you passed, hoping to run into Quinn. A string of away games was starting that Monday, and when you came back from dropping off Andrew at the airport on Sunday night, you noticed the bag sitting in front of your apartment door. 

The black sweats were inside with a note, 'I'll pick them up when I'm back. Enjoy :). ~ Q" He never asked for them back

_________________________________

"Hey," his voice was clear despite the pixilated quality of his Facetime call. He was wearing a white T-shirt, his hair was wet, and he had a look on his face you had never seen. "Hey Q," your pulse felt overwhelming as if anyone who looked at you could see it throbbing against your neck. "Are you having a good time back home?" It was a buffer; you didn't know what Quinn wanted to say, and judging by the look on his face, you weren't sure you wanted to.

"Andrew called me." His voice was blunt, direct to the point, despite the few seconds he stared at you, hesitating to continue. "He asked if I was sleeping with you." His eyes held yours while the rest of his face had no expression. "What?" The nervous laughter that filled the air around you was nothing more than a way to suppress the hurt and anger of this new confession.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Quinn. I don't know why he's been so paranoid lately. It seems like he misinterprets everything I mention to him as something else." For the last two months, you had known that Andrew suspected your friendship with Quinn was something more. He had brought it up the last time he was in Vancouver and again over the phone a few weeks ago (although it had been in retaliation to the question you had asked him about the girl with him in a video his friend had posted on their story). 

"Did he misinterpret it, or did he just see what is obvious that you and I can't admit?" The question was loaded with truths that weren't meant to come out. The look that the two of you shared through the screen had only confirmed it. In a split second, months of ignorance had led to a confession when the two of you were thousands of miles apart.

His breathing was heavy; you could hear it through the phone; he had a look on his face that closely resembled his look when his team lost in the Playoffs. It was the look you saw in the mirror this morning when you had not heard from him. It was the split-second look he had in the lobby the day Andrew surprised you.

Everything playing in your head; all the nights he would knock at your apartment after a game with a box of food, the way you would pack him an 'after-game snack' consisting of oranges, a granola bar and a fruit snack (which he teased you about until you mentioned it was like they did in little leagues), the way your breath hitches every time he gets shoved or falls. 

All the times, the two of you had gone for a drive when life felt too heavy, and you shared secrets you had never told anyone before. The way he took off your makeup when you had gone out one night or how he knows your coffee order for every cafe you go to. Quinn and you had been in the in-between since you first hung out. 

"I mean, how long are we going to pretend like nothing is happening?" His voice was calm and demanding, with a hint of subdued anger or annoyance you hadn't picked up. "Quinn, I -" You were at a loss for words; nothing could genuinely capture how Quinn had made you feel. 

You knew you were safe with Quinn around, not only in a physical sense but emotionally. The way he made you feel heard and seen. The two of you were floating in two separate worlds, but the weight that engulfed you was the same. You understood the complication of pressure and leadership; you understood needing to be the most prominent presence in the room, even if you weren't the loudest. You understood the pressure of wanting, no needing, to be the best for everyone else even if it tore you apart. 

It was all those things and more that drove you together, the ability to soothe the ache the buildup of burden had left sacred on the two of you. When you felt a crushing weight on you, the only thing that could alleviate it was being around the man who had quickly become your best friend. Immediately, he knew whether you needed to just sit and cry while he comforted you or go for a drive so you could yell out lyrics or if you needed him to just talk about mundane things.

And you do the same; you knew by the way he left the ice, by the way, he knocked on the door, by the way, he walked down the hallway toward your apartments. You knew when to go over to him so he could catch the recaps, and you knew when to invite him to yours to force him to ignore the criticism. You knew that even after a winning streak or after a goal, he needed comfort, understanding the overwhelming feeling of the slightest reprieve until the next game.

And the honest truth was that you had pushed back any romantic feelings because you knew without a doubt he was your person. You had never been one for friendship with men, and when your friends asked about what you could have in common with a professional hockey player, you never knew what to tell them. Because from every book, movie, series and scenario you knew, as cliche as it was, the only quote that could describe what the two of you shared was, 'Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.' 

"Y/N, please." His voice was barely above a whisper, a plea to say anything. "It doesn't have to change anything. I just need to know; I didn't mean to hurt you; I tried to give you space. I've tried to respect your relationship." He had been ignoring you to avoid hurting your relationship, and in the process, the two of you were the only ones who were hurt. "Quinn." There was only one way you could describe it: "You consume me." Despite the tears that fell, you stared at him through the phone, wishing he was there with you, wishing your plane was going to Michigan. 

"Now boarding flight-" The announcement couldn't have come at a worse time; there was so much to say, and an airport right before boarding was not ideal. "That's my flight." You wiped your tears as you stared at the man on the screen. "Y/N, I'm sorry for bringing this up now; it's not my best moment." he was trying to cheer you up; he wanted you to know that everything would be okay. "Quinn, I don't know what to do," your voice was a quiet plea to understand what was to come.

"Given everything that was said and that we're in two different countries right now, I think we should take some time to digest. I know you're spending time with him, and I don't want you to feel overwhelmed. I think we should take the next week or two." your heart was breaking, but your mind knew that was the best option. And for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, you thought of Andrew, and the slight tinge of annoyance arose again. 

Quinn must have noticed because he was quick to interject his following comment with the most sincere look, "But before you go, I just need you to know that you consume me too." He had his signature half smile as he continued, "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I think about you constantly. I think about you when I look at the sky, when I'm practicing with my brothers, when I go out with friends and when I lie in bed. I watch for you in the crowd during warm-ups. You've become one of my favourite people so quickly, and I'm so glad of all the apartments in the city, or even just in the building; you moved into the one next to mine." 

You smiled as the tears fell; if there had ever been any doubt, you now knew for sure that Quinn was your person. "I'll be forever grateful that the universe brought me to you too." And with a quick goodbye and promise to reach out in two weeks, you were in your seat on the plane. 

Your mind racing with thoughts of Quinn and the revelations that had come to light and then again to Andrew. You didn't know why, but your annoyance was morphing into slight anger, the idea that he had called Quinn and accused him of sleeping with you. What annoyed you more was that he had done that and hadn't mentioned it to you. He hadn't mentioned the idea of your friendship with Quinn being something more since that one phone call a little over a month ago. 

You sat with that feeling for the rest of the flight. 

_________________________________

"Okay, fine, you are mad at me! But name one thing that I have done to deserve it!" Andrew was standing on the opposite side of the room. His breathing was heavy as he ran a hand through his hair. "You called Quinn." your voice was laced with a hint of sadness and betrayal. The statement was simple and direct but held a meaning that both of you knew would change everything. 

The argument had started with something so small: the two of you walking on eggshells the past few days and your passive-aggressive comments when he mentioned anything related to Vancouver. Over the past few days, you had tried to get Andrew to admit to calling Quinn; he wasn't stupid; he had connected the dots and was simply choosing to ignore it (which infuriated you even more). The days dragged on; waking up and getting ready in silence, spending the day exploring, trying to avoid long conversations at all costs, getting ready for bed with few words and getting into bed facing away from each other. 

Andrew's response had taken a second longer than it should have. His hesitation made it clear that he was surprised by the direct approach, almost as if he hadn't thought you would say anything.  "You're damn right I did, I've seen the messages, the glances, the pictures. What was I supposed to do? Pretend that nothing was going on?" His voice was slightly louder as his eyes narrowed on you. 

"Nothing was going on. He never touched me." you raised your voice, but the words weakened. Your hands were flailing around, trying to emphasize your point.  The tears behind your eyes aching to be let free. It was too much, and you knew the implications of your words. This time, however, Andrew didn't hesitate to answer; his reply, even louder than before, came out the second you were done talking. "And I wasn't gonna sit around and wait until he did."  

The two of you stood there staring at each other, chests heaving, eyes full of emotion. You sat on the counter stool beside you before looking away from Andrew and placing your head in your hands, elbows propped on the counter. You heard his footsteps getting closer, and soon, Andrew was pulling out the stool next to you. 

You glanced at him from your peripheral view; he was staring at the kitchen in front of him, a look of contemplation on his face. "Do you have feelings for him, Y/N?" you diverted your eyes back to the counter. The question caught you off guard, "Hmm?" you could feel his eyes on you again, but you couldn't gain the strength to look up. "Do you have feelings for Quinn?" Each word was emphasized by the slight pause he took between them. 

Although you couldn't meet his eyes, you mustered enough courage to look up from your hands towards the kitchen. "I would never cheat on you, you know that." you shook your head as you said it, knowing it wasn't the answer he sought. "That's not what I asked." you wanted to look at him, to tell him he was all you wanted, that there was nothing between you and Quinn, but that wasn't the truth, and all you could do was continue the slight head shake you had started. 

Andrew didn't say anything for a bit, but you could hear the sound of his movement as he repositioned himself on the stool and leaned closer to you. "Did you fall for him?" His voice was softer and more quiet, slightly above a whisper. You tried to speak, but the tears beat you. As the tears left your eyes, you looked towards Andrew. His eyes were glued on the fridge, his expression hurt, and his eyes held a slight gloss. "Oh god," he was avoiding eye contact with you now. 

You stared at him a moment longer, trying to calm down, "Nothing happened." your voice was shakier than it had been all night, and the tone held no conviction. He turned his head slightly, the two of you locking eyes. "Don't tell me nothing happened. We've been fighting over this all week." He turned away before he even finished his sentence. Your tears continued, "You miss him, don't you?" The look on his face had hardened, but his voice remained the same. He knew the answer; it had been evident every time he called you, and you were alone or when he would try to call, only to be met with a text saying you were on the phone but would call him back. 

You kept your eyes on him; the guilt weighed heavy on you. The implication of every choice you had made since the first interaction with Quinn ran through your mind. You couldn't put your thoughts into words or rationalize your feelings. "I'm sorry." It wasn't even a valid answer, but it was all you could think of. Your emotions were running too high, and you needed a breather. He leaned back on the stool and let out a breath, but a few tears trickled down as he did. "Damn" His voice was barely audible; if you hadn't been looking at him or if the room hadn't been so quiet, you would have missed it. 

_________________________________

It hadn't been your intention to end things with Andrew that way. Despite all the issues the two of you shared, you didn't want to hurt him. When you talked everything through the following morning you both knew the relationship had been over longer than either of you cared to admit.  It had been as civil as a breakup could be, and the guilt that had once overwhelmed you started to blur.

As you looked out the plane window and saw Vancouver, you felt the missing pieces of you start to come together. It was strange how life finds a way to bring you exactly where you need to be. Accepting your graduate program at The University of British Columbia led you to a weekend of exploring and apartment hunting in Vancouver. You had found your apartment complex by accident; you had been lost looking for another building when your eyes landed on it. The large winders on every floor practically shoved you into the lobby, and when you applied, only one unit was available for your expected move-in date. It had been a long shot, and somehow you ended up winning. 

You could recall the sound of a car pulling into the attached parking garage as you pulled a box out of your trunk, unintentionally knocking down a pillow in all the commotion. As you bent down to pick it up, you could hear the car door open and close before hearing a few footsteps. They stopped as you located your missing pillow; as you stood back up, you turned to find the stranger but found yourself searching for Andrew after hearing his voice. As you stood there waiting for him to grab another box, you looked towards the elevator and saw the stranger standing there. You couldn't see his face; he was just a blur of brunette hair and a gray outfit as the doors closed, and although you couldn't make out all his facial features, you could have sworn you saw him give you a smile before the doors closed completely. And before you even had a chance, Quinn captured your attention. And unbeknownst to you then, you had made a lasting impression on him, too. 

As you stared at the city, music in your ears, in the back of the Uber home, you could see every moment you and Quin shared. Every mundane moment, from knocking on his door in the morning with breakfast bagels and coffee to drunk conversations in the back of a car after a night out celebrating to sitting in either of your living rooms watching a movie with your commentary. It was like watching a montage scene, and it felt freeing because, for the first time, there was the possibility for something more. The feeling of longing had been hidden underneath your guilt, coming hand in hand, and now both were gone, instead replaced with something positive. 

"Miss, you have a package." The voice of your building's concierge brings you back to reality. It was a relatively wide rectangular box; you hadn't ordered anything that would come in a box of that size, which fueled your curiosity even more. "Thank you." You smiled and offered a kind goodbye before walking to the elevator. 

Without hesitation, another image of Quinn flew into your mind as the elevator doors closed. The first time you spoke was in the elevator up to your floor. He smiled, encouraged you to enter the elevator first, and asked if you needed help with your box despite carrying his bag. However,  after declining his offer, he made no other effort to continue the conversation. The two of you casually glanced at each other as the doors closed, waiting for the movement to begin, but when it didn't, you looked over to the right side of the door and laughed slightly. "What floor do you need?" he asked with a slight chuckle. "Sixteenth, please." You returned his chuckle and smiled. You watched as he clicked the sixteenth button but no other. "Are you on the same floor?" You could hear excitement in your voice, but you pushed it down. "Yeah, guess that means we're neighbour neighbours" Once again, that damn smile felt contagious; he felt contagious. 

When you reached your floor, you found yourself walking faster than usual to reach your door. It had only been a week; somehow, everything was completely different yet utterly the same. You walked into the apartment and set the package down on the counter, needing to know what was inside. Opening the lid, you are met with the most beautiful arrangement of your favourite flowers. There were different shades of your favourite colour, layering beautifully on each other, but what caught your eyes was the distinct blue rose in the middle, an envelope sitting directly on top. 

The envelope had your name written on it with the handwriting you had come to memorize. Inside was a postcard from Michigan, "Y/N, I can't get you out of my head. Only two more weeks left before I'm back in Van, and I can't wait to see you again. I found this while I was out, and it reminded me of you.   -Q" You held the card close to you for a second; it had the faintest mix of florals and Quinn's cologne. You looked at the fridge before deciding to keep the note in your room. It felt intimate, something you wanted to keep between you. Something caught your eye when you took the flowers out of the box and into a vase. Inside the envelope was a small plastic bag; you reached for it and found a necklace. 

A delicate chain with a small pendant with a sun and a moon, and when you turned it over, your breathing hitched; there was a small 43 engraved. When you read the note, you assumed the postcard was what he had seen, but it was the necklace. He had seen a necklace encompassing the sun and moon, something you were passionate about, and he had added something personal. The engraving must have been something he did; the probability that it had been done in manufacturing was slim to none, making it all the more special. You put it on and never wanted to take it off. 

You grabbed the postcard off the counter and lifted it closer to your chest before taking a close-up picture from your lips to showcase the necklace and postcard, "I'm thinking about you too. To the longest two weeks that will ever exist. To the sun and the moon and back." And as you hit the send button, you couldn't help but think about what was yet to come.  

_________________________________

[sayusims]

Jinshi and Maomao relationship detail

At first, when watching The Apothecary Diaries, I didn't really want Jinshi and Maomao to be together. I mean, I wanted them to be, but since Jinshi was obviously so much more in love than Maomao, I did not think that it would seriously work out. However, I’ve changed my mind. As I haven’t actually read the light novels yet, some of the information I’m going to use is based on what others have said, and I can’t really confirm 100% if it is true, but since these are discussed somewhat in the community, I feel like they are.

My top reason for thinking they are good together is the fact that they pay extra attention to and look at each other more than others. In Jinshi’s case, he is known for being immensely pretty, but because this is the only thing people look at when it comes to him, it causes him to have an inferiority complex about all of the other skills that he does possess. It also does not help that he is surrounded by anomalies of people who have super strength or are insanely smart, so he feels hopelessly average in comparison. Because of this, when he met Maomao, he thought that she would be the same—someone captivated by his beauty who does not see the real him—but it was the complete opposite. His beauty does not hold worth to her. While she obviously finds him attractive and is probably still attracted to his physical body, his worth to her comes almost solely from his personality. The times in the anime that we see best that she is VERY slowly falling in love are times when she mentions him behaving differently or behaving more like himself instead of the persona he puts on daily. She does find Jinshi annoying a lot, but she likes it when he is more youthful and less eunuch-like.

When it comes to Maomao, I remember that in an episode of the anime, Maomao mentioned how she knows she is hard to read. While Jinshi cannot read her, he still tries. Jinshi never backs down or gets put off when he doesn’t understand her apparent logic; he mostly just trusts her and her judgment. He is incredibly patient with her and honestly does not try to rush things (it is KILLING ME). He is extremely worried about her well-being and making the choice that she wants, not what he wants. It is like when he dismissed her from her job in the first part of season 1. He dismissed her even though he had the power to obviously just not do it but also to just kind of make her work even if she thought it was miserable in the rear palace, because I fear that’s what at least half of the men back then would have done. But even though at this time he had a rabid crush on her and knew he was going to be miserable like he was with his toys when he was younger, he did it since he thought that was what she wanted. Another thing Jinshi notices a lot is her injuries. After, I assume, the third time of someone noticing someone else constantly getting hurt but still either waiting to get help or just not getting it at all, most people would give up. Most people would not jump off a wall and carry them bridal style to the infirmary the sixth time, but Jinshi still did, and he did it with urgency. Every time she gets hurt now, he is always panicking and doing the most he can to help, even if it's most times him just screaming. He never gets tired of her and always wants to be around her at almost every moment.

I want to get the manga volumes and the light novel so badly, but I literally have a 50-bullet-point to-read list that just keeps growing because I’ve been stuck on Crime and Punishment for the last two months. But if anyone has some show ideas (they don't have to be anime) that I can yap about and make my brain work overtime, that would be very helpful.

[bronx-bomber87]

Well hello there lovely Fandom :) This has to be one of the best of eps of season so far. Tied with last week for sure. The writers came to play this season holy hell. Also a little birdie (my friend ha) told me the person who wrote 2x11 wrote this one. SOOO of course it's incredible. Start to finish. Once again not just the Chenford stuff either. (That was insanely good obviously. Losing my mind over it.)

I just love that they've tapped back into the show as a whole again. I mean we would have some decent B and C storylines along with our ship last couple years. But this season? Phew they are killing the game. Each week tops the last or ties it. I can see why Eric loves this season so much. Why he's called it his fav so far. It's been fantastic. I'm with him. Let us dive into the goldmine that is this episode.

7x08 Wildfire

We start off with another Genny appearance. I love this sfm. Wasn't sure when we'd get to see her again. Definitely was not expecting a couple episodes after 7x06. This season continues to surprise and delight me in the best way. Her reply about the GPS cracks me up. I've been in traffic so bad the GPS gave up on me too LOL Yay Uncle Tim to the rescue. This was such a nice start to the ep for Tim.

This is the season that continues to give and give. More of Tim's house AND an Uncle Tim scene? *swoon* I love that the first thing they ask about is where the good boy is. We all love him and need more of him in all of our lives. Kojo is at daycare hehe Considering how this episode goes down I'm grateful for it.

They try to pull one over on him but it ain't working. Not even a little bit. Lmao I adore how he pops back in to catch them instantly disobeying. The best part is they say 'Yes sir.' when they're caught. The love and respect is evident. It's so lovely. Seeing him in Uncle Tim mode is so cute I can't stand it. Little gem I didn't knew I needed. Well done writers.

I love Lucy bee-lining for Tim to let him know about the looting in his neighborhood. The best part is her immediately jumping in his car to get to his nephews. My heart. Such a short but impactful scene. Does my shipper heart good to see it. Chips down they're always there for each other. That's never changed despite all the messy relationship issues. A constant for them we all love to see.

So many things to love about this next portion. I wasn't able to get it all in. But the way they enter the house together on guard. As you all know I love watching them in the field. It is ship crack for me. I'll never be over the well oiled machine that is them. It is the ONE thing that never suffered no matter how bad it got between them.

It's their center and it held well. I friggin love the pic. Oh my word. It's from the baseball game in 5x11. The little things are the best. I love the small details. Tim is so damn sassy 'Gently.' Can't say I didn't think the same when they were man handling his TV. lol

Then the ship crack really kicks in. Fighting the stealing duo together. gimme gimme. Poetry in motion as always. Love to see it. The funniest part is his nephew's reappearance. Cracks me up they were playing the entire time. LOL Of course Genny shows up to see it all. Little bit of levity amongst a sea of intensity during this ep. Also relief the boys will be safe and headed home with her after this.

Oh my word, them talking about his nephews. Be still my damn heart. I love that she had a relationship with them. Not only that she coached them as well. Her joke about the curveball making Tim's smile even wider. Could he be more in love with her? *sad sigh* This is why the breakup destroyed her. Stuff like this. No doubt she thought they were getting married and we're forever. She had relationships with his sister and her kids. Legit ones to the point they miss and ask about her.

Tim was her one and done. The first time she fell in love and thought it was going to be her future. He was going to be her future. Oh Timothy, you really stepped in it when you let her go. My goodness. I love getting peaks into their life outside the station when they were together. This was a fantastic addition to that. The details in this one making me insanely giddy. Too bad we don't get to hear what he told them but hot damn I enjoyed this little tidbit moment.

The immense fire interrupts their lovely moment. They're trapped and have to radio in as such. Grey is one giant ball of panic even thought he's trying to hide it. Despite being his officers those are his friends in real danger. Not only that he is stuck at a command post hoping against hope they make it out. Eric killing me with his expressions once again.

The deep breath he takes before formulating a plan is everything. Suggests they leave the shop ASAP. Just a tinder box waiting to happen. When he said to use a safety blanket I was percolating with excitement. That meant tight quarters and goodness to come. I could feel it. I was legit vibrating this morning as I watched this go down. Tim not giving Lucy a ton of relief saying he saw it on youtube once lol

I absolutely love the role reversal here. Tim is the rambling one. Going on and on. Lucy has to be the one get him to focus. He’s spewing facts that mean nothing to her in this moment. She just needs to know they’re going to be ok. That this is going to work and they're not going to die in this fire.

First time we see Tim come undone and not have the cooler head between them. Lucy has to be the one to get him to focus and give her a straight yes or no answer. Her anxiety can't take the long winded reply. I love her face and hand she puts up letting him know as such. She needs his reassurance not his facts.

This is the meat and potatoes of this scene right here. The sass coming from this man in this scene lmao I love him sfm. 'What, You got somewhere to be?' Oh my lord. These two. Lucy cuts him to the quick. Trying to stop this near death-love confession of his. Tim continuing the sass train saying he could be saying something hateful. LOL Doubtful my love very very doubtful. You forget she knows you just as well as you do her. Lucy continues to try and water down his confession by cutting him off. Saying she knows what he's going to say.

That he's still in love with her. Tim's reply is primo. ‘The arrogance.' This made me cackle. My god this is not the time to be fighting her on this Timothy. Also she’s not wrong babe.... He gives in and says she's not wrong. Of course he still loves her. *heart clutch* Here's what I love the most about him saying this. It's fact that he couldn’t die or possibly let her leave this earth without letting her know he’s still in love with her. That he loves her. That fact still hasn't changed for him. I’m sure he’s worked it out in therapy and lives with the guilt of it daily. Her wondering if he still loved her. If he truly loved her like she loved him.

I remember thinking about that in post 6x06. And it honestly killed me the thought of it. When he broke it off how she must've felt like he didn't love her anymore. Or fell out of love. Or never even cared at all with how he tossed them away. When it was the farthest thing from the truth. Whether she realizes it or not she needed to hear this from him. To hear him say he still loved her. It’ll mean more post this moment than anything else. I think this healed a small part of her. Whether she wanted to hear it or not. I think she sensed it in 6x09 with their hug. With the way he clung to her and told he he wasn't ok till that hug. But this is verbal confirmation for her. He loves her.

Her anger is still shining through when Tim asks if she still loves him? As it should. He DEEPLY wounded her. Also only they could have a near death-love confession and be fighting through the entire thing LOL I love them sfm fandom. I truly do. It's insane how much I do. ‘You are infuriating.’ Doesn't crack or let it slip she loves him back still. Now her non reply truly is her answer. Tim can see that and it's why he says 'So that's a yes?' He knows her. But she is fighting him every step of the way.

Lucy is not going to be an easy nut to crack. Nor should she be. He straight up scarred her for life with that breakup. The carelessness of it. Fuck, it damaged me for sure. This show and this ship are my happy place. I was going through a rough and painful transition in life when it occurred. So it hit me real hard when it happened. My happy place was suddenly not so happy anymore. I struggled with it a lot. Can only imagine how Lucy felt. She has a rock hard exterior slash wall with him. Even facing death she couldn’t verbalize she’s still in love with him too. It risks too much for her. He shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Tim is slowly picking up the many shards but its going to take time. He is going to have to keep chipping away at her wall. Because the scars he left on her heart run very deep. It’s going to take him continuing to try and keep that convo going in order to get her to a good place. A place where she can unleash her pent up anger toward him. To be able to receive his deepest amends to get them on the road to recovery. Loved his 'I know!' He knows he's infuriating. Doesn't fight her and I love the self awareness of his line. The way he cradles her head at the end as they come together. I CANNOT everyone. The tender protection of this has me reeling.

The banter doesn't skip a beat when they emerge. Tim bragging they would make it. Lucy of course doesn't let him get away with it. Because she is wifey and that won't stand. Heh. Gah the way he helps her up. It's so tender and sweet. Once again the little things I adore so very much. Also lets note the look he gives when he radios in 'Code Four.' The man is a glass house of transparency for his feelings. No way she doesn't know he is gone for her even minus the confession.

THIS HUG. OMFG. Tim doesn't hesitate to pull her in. It's the way he holds her holy cow. The moment they have a second to breathe she's in his arms. He needs to grab her and make sure she's really next to him. To ground himself. They legit just survived a near death experience together. The way she falls into him. *happy sigh* Wraps one arm around his back and has her other hand placed intimately on his stomach. I may faint. The wide shot from behind is beautifully done. Showing them what they just made it through together.

It's the way he shuts his eyes and sways with her on the return shot that gets me. Lucy reaching up to touch his stomach once again. Grounding herself through touching him as well. Her eyes filling with tears as she views the destruction they got through. It's such a beautiful moment. I love their hugs SO much. They always convey so much love and emotion in them. Was hoping for a new one this year. Wish granted. The giving season continues to give. This will be my new header for sure. When I find the right gif.

I feel like moments like this I can consider as 'Little doses' He’s trying so hard everyone. He really is. Since s7 started the man has done everything he can while respecting her bounds. Wants to continually show up for her in whatever capacity she'll accept him in. To rebuild her trust in him. Now she’s not there yet and rightfully so. But he’s chipping away slowly with moments like this. This is an amazing moment step forward for them.

Lucy reaches out first in the hospital. Talking about priorities and them being crystallized. Tim looking at her with massive heart eyes when he says his were clear. She is his #1 priority. That has never changed. Even during the breakup she was. Because he was doing it in his mind at the time to protect her. So his priorities have been clear for awhile. But even more so post-therapy. That clarity was sharpened into focus ten fold for him. She is it. It just has taken on a new life and context for him post-therapy.

Lucy does not see what he is throwing down unfortunately. That or she's avoiding reading into what he's saying. I can't decide. That's the beauty of doing my in-depth ones in the summer. Because I'll have the whole season in hand to make a better analysis of that. What I can tell you was Tim wanted to have the convo again. Now his panic is at 100 when she says she needs to move forward. It's pouring out of his eyes the panic of what that means. Striking some terror into his soul. Him worrying she means personally.

Luckily Lucy’s talking about her career instead. Now he is a little dejected still but not nearly as panicked. Agreeing once again just like in 7x06 and letting go of the convo he wants to have....Oh my boy. You’re gonna have to make it happen honey. She is too gun-shy after what you did. You’re gonna have to really really make this happen. Oooh man they’re really gonna make us work for this reconciliation and I’m here for it. Holy hell this season is good. The writers brought it this year I have to say.

Now I know some want a reconciliation already. I get it. Really I do. I miss them being together too. My heart aches and longs for it. BUT they need to really flesh this out. I don't see it as being dragged out so much as worked out. If they don't and they got back together right now people would complain. Saying Tim didn't do the work or work out his shit or take accountability. (Which is he BTW thank you writers for last week) Or that Lucy's feelings are being ignored and she's easily letting him back in. This delay is showing neither of those things are true. Lucy is protecting her feelings and heart still. Tim is really going to have to continually show up for her. They say an apology is useless unless there is changed behavior. He's gotta keep showing her he's changed.

His actions will speak louder than anything. This is going to take time. I keep saying that because it's true. Tim is going to need to continue to put in the work. That way she can get to a place where her feelings are expressed and acknowledged. Where she can truly let him have it and they can move forward. Have that adult convo she was so wrongfully denied in 6x07. When the man was nowhere near ready. He is now. Thing is she isn't ready yet. That's ok. I like them slowing it down to explore them getting fixed in other ways before that convo. Also that it isn't going to be on easy on Tim. You know I love my boy but he's going to have to EARN her back ten times over. It needs to be hard. Now her going for Sergeant? I’m down with.

To quote the legend Alexis Rose. 'Love that journey for you.' This will give her career clarity. I want that so badly for her. Especially if it gets her out of his chain of command. Fixes that issue instantly. Also the smiles happening based on that were so sweet. Tim, literally laying it down, they could be together if she wanted, should she make Sergeant. She smiles with her reply. *screams into pillow* The throw back to 2x02 made me dizzy with happiness. How beautifully full circle would it be for him to help her make Sergeant? To help her study? (loving this idea btw.). The flirty vibes in this scene made me squee. Their base banter is still alive and well. Lucy is flirting right back everyone. This is an excellent sign. Saying they could get a 'Head start early.' Flirty af back at him.

Dumbass Seth comes in and incriminates himself like the idiot he is… Idk what he was thinking saying this in front of not only Lucy but Tim? You little fool. He warned you not to put her in jeopardy. Said you'd regret if you did. My god I fanned myself at his reply to Seth. The feral like stare along with his reply? Hot damn. Get me some ice water. Tim is coming for you dude. Locked and loaded. He told you he would kill you if you put her in harms way. You’re a dead man Ridley. Officially marked my son.

His panic at being caught in his lie is so painfully evident. Trying to cover it up with 'checking in.' on Lucy. Put the Fear of God into them my ass. You couldn't scare a butterfly bro. The knowing shared looks are everything. You just started your countdown clock out of the FTO Seth. They're gonna work together prove what you did. Scorched Earth is coming your way whether you like it or not.

Phew. Holy moly what a good episode. It was incredibly good. End to end fantastic. That seems to be the theme this year. I'm about it. Bummed we have one mini break but after this ep we might need the slight decompression lol

Thank you as always to the amazing people who like, comment (these makes me so happy,) and reblog these. It means more than you can ever know. You are the real MVP's. I'll see you all in a couple weeks for 7x09. It'll be the halfway point which is unreal. Stay excellent my lovely readers.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Love me some Wopez early in this ep very cute. They are controlled chaos haha Poor Wes stuck with all the kids lol

'Wealthy glamorous widow.' Angela Lopez you are a Queen and I adore you.

Angela's serious talk with Nyla was really good. She didn't listen sadly (at first) but loved her for doing that knowing wouldn't be well received. Nyla is having hard ole time this season. She is starting to crack and it shows.

Good job Nolan with the kid. I like them tapping back into what made him likeable in the first couple of seasons. Also him calling Bailey while she was fighting fires was hilarious. Like I'm a little busy bub lol

Of course Seth hid the note…I mean it got us our moment but still. That is going to come back and end him. Tim and Lucy were affected by this. Grey was SHAKEN by his mishap, Won't just be them coming after him with a vengeance when he is found out.

I love that Nyla listens to Angela at the end and taking care of herself. Too bad it doesn't last long.

Jesus what a way to end the ep poor James......That girl got annihilated no way she makes it.

Glad they posted the viewer discretion advised. My heart goes out to Cali and all they've lost.

[eocon-fr]

ᯓ translation of Esteban Ocon interview for GQ France

Esteban Ocon the humble formula.

Formula 1 is experiencing a new era, propelled by a growing media hype and a generation of talented drivers. Among them, Esteban Ocon, the new face of the Haas team whose transfer caused a stir this winter. An outstanding competitor who, far from the limelight and the spotlight, favours work and determination to impose himself on the track.

A page has turned for Esteban Ocon this winter. After five seasons defending the colours of Renault and then Alpine, the driver has joined the American team Haas. As is often the case in the merciless world of F1, his transfer was accompanied by its share of feelings, misunderstandings, rumours, and sensational statements. The complicated season of the 28-year-old Frenchman, embellished by an unexpected second place at the Brazilian Grand Prix in early November, ended with an absence that caused a great deal of noise. During the final race of the year in Abu Dhabi, Alpine had indeed lined up its young reserve Australian Jack Doohan alongside Pierre Gasly, reserving Esteban Ocon a back door exit, after 106 Grand Prix contested under the colours of the French team.

But the Norman has seen others during his nine years behind a Formula 1 steering wheel. The real positive change - which he has been able to observe - is the explosion in the popularity of his sport, notably thanks to the Netflix documentary Drive to Survive and especially to the acquisition of F1 by Liberty Media.

"When I arrived in Formula 1 in 2016, I remember the holes in the stands in Austin. The first corner was not complete, he describes. This sport has never been so worked now, and to experience that as a driver is very special. It’s a crazy thing to arrive on the Fan Forum [a stage where drivers are invited for discussions or games on the sidelines of the Grands Prix] and to see a crowd of 80,000 people, you feel like a rock star."

The downside of this medal is constant media noise and vocal fans who exacerbate rivalries and forge reputations that are difficult to change. Type the name of the new Haas driver into YouTube, and you will quickly come across a video called "Why is it so hard to like Esteban Ocon?"

"There is always information that is distorted or taken out of context that will come out, and people who don't understand everything and are quick to criticize, the driver puts it into perspective. But to get back to Netflix, it can't be bad publicity to be [in this series] because it highlights the sport that I've always loved. Even if it's become more of a business than a sport."

I ask him if that hasn't always been the case.

"It's true that watching documentaries and series about Ayrton Senna, James Hunt, or Niki Lauda, ​​you understand that business and politics have always been part of this sport. But I think we've moved to another level. Some drivers cope with it better than others. For me, the important thing is to see who stands out and who does a good qualifying lap in difficult conditions."

The headlines in the press and the buzz on social networks, the stories of drivers who go from heroes to zeros in the space of a race, Esteban Ocon prefers to distance himself from them.

"I understand that it makes the fans react, but it doesn't fascinate me at all," he admits. "I've learned to stay vigilant and know how to anticipate." That's all you ask of an F1 driver, after all."

A turning point in his career

Moreover, a week after his sad deal at Alpine, as the end-of-year holidays approached, the driver seemed to have already digested the episode. He was impatient to begin a new adventure but also to spend time with his family in Normandy.

"We had reached the end of the story with Alpine, and I can't wait to embark on a new challenge with a team that soared last year. I have grown from this period, and I am proud to have brought home the team's best results since my return to Formula 1 in 2016," said the winner of the Hungarian Grand Prix in 2021. "I obviously regret not having been able to fight more often for better positions over the years, and it is obviously not the ending I would have wanted. But it ended like that. One thing is for sure: it was the right time for a renewal."

We discussed his development since his F1 debut almost ten years ago. In 2016, Esteban Ocon became the youngest French driver in history to compete in a Grand Prix. He was barely 20 years old and was racing for the Manor team. After a season at Force India and a spell at Racing Point, the young driver joined Renault in 2020, where he obtained his first podium in Bahrain. A lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then, but Esteban Ocon claims to have always followed the same mantra: getting out of his comfort zone. I ask him if a driver must necessarily change teams at some point to continue his progression. Does love last three years in F1?

"When you have a team and a car that win, there is no reason to change," he smiles.

While the media and social networks have reveled in the supposed tensions between the Alpine team and Esteban Ocon in recent months, and have serialized his rivalry with his teammate Pierre Gasly, the 28-year-old driver assures that his departure is due to a single desire: to embark on a new and exciting project to rediscover the pleasure on the track. But it is also a question of human relationships and trust. At Haas, Esteban Ocon will indeed be reunited with Ayao Komatsu, his very first F1 race engineer, who became the principal of the American team, who joined the paddock in 2016.

"He is not the type to make promises without having a plan to keep them. He explained to me his vision of things and the progress he envisaged for the team. As the races went on, I saw that these were not empty words, as there can be many in motorsport."

Haas went from tenth and last place in the constructors' standings in 2023 to seventh position in 2024. Last year, the team extended its collaboration with Ferrari for the engines and also formed a new technical partnership with Toyota. That said, Esteban Ocon knows that his mission does not look easy.

"We're going to have a lot of work both [with the young British driver Oliver Bearman]. We have a huge project on the simulator that is not up to par, for example. It's a fairly young team that needs drivers who are 100% involved. It's a great project," he enthuses.

To build strong ties with his new team this winter, and to put all the chances on his side, the Frenchman explains to me that the engineers from the Haas team will spend time with him near Annecy, at 321 perform, a center specializing in high-level sport, and in particular stress management. The goal of this course is to establish psychological profiles. In concrete terms, it involves putting each member of the group in stressful situations. The psychologists or the coach ask very tough and very personal questions, without the answers being revealed to the group. A collective debriefing then takes place. The goal: to observe each person's reactions and give them the keys to manage the pressure and the inevitable moments of tension.

"A drama teacher will also intervene, and I think it will be a shock for the new engineers. The team boss Ayao [Komatsu] will come too, but we're going to spare him, Esteban Ocon laughs. During these kinds of sessions, we break down all the barriers, and it leads to the most embarrassing situations. I hope none of these exercises come out!" Imagine role playing, singing, shouting. He gets serious again: "We're going to experience difficult moments during the season, and we have to be able to tell each other everything. It's super important to create a bond as soon as possible and for them to be able to see the submerged part of the iceberg of a driver's life. It's not just arriving at the circuit and putting on your suit."

Championing your bridle and learning from your mistakes

Sometimes, being an F1 driver means forcing yourself to stay up until the early hours of the morning. While Esteban Ocon poses in front of our photographer's lens with more ease than you would have thought, as comfortable in a full denim look as in a leather jacket, his partner Flavy Barla talks to me about the end of the 2024 season and how she supports him. About ten days before the Las Vegas Grand Prix at the end of November, the couple, for example, switched to the Nevada time zone... from Europe.

"We went to bed around 5 or 6 a.m. and went up around 3 or 4 p.m. These moments are difficult because we live completely out of step with the whole world, but it helps me a lot once I'm there, Esteban Ocon puts it into perspective. The life of a driver doesn't leave room for compromise, and everything I do on a daily basis is with a view to the car race. It's when you've prepared the best that you get the best grades."

In this respect, years of experience pay off. Because Esteban Ocon hasn't always been so ready. The former Alpine driver remembers a particularly difficult race during his first season because he had shifted his sleep by four hours... in the wrong direction.

"When I arrived, I was upside down," he jokes today, specifying that his coach Tom Clark, a jet-lag specialist, now concocts a specific program for him based on melatonin and blackouts glasses. Not very sexy, but effective.

"All this means that I am often tired between races, but in good shape in the moments that count. Each season, with my team, we put something more in place in my preparation, to perform better throughout the year", the Frenchman emphasizes.

What did he learn last year?

"At the end of the season, I was working in the heat to prepare for races like Singapore", he tells me, describing hellish one-and-a-half-hour rowing or cycling sessions in the sauna. "But it was cold in Qatar this year! It was the hardest race in history. I was cold in the car. Now, I know that the only race to prepare for the heat is Singapore."

At the beginning of October 2023, the drivers suffered from the heat in Doha (up to 40 degrees), and Esteban Ocon even threw up in his helmet during the race. The Emirati GP is now taking place a few weeks later to avoid these mishaps. Since his first steps in F1, Esteban Ocon has seen the calendar change and new urban circuits (Las Vegas, Miami) and other destinations (the Losail circuit in Qatar and the Jeddah circuit in Saudi Arabia) appear. 21 Grands Prix were contested in 2016 compared to 24 today, and this change of schedule inevitably affects the pace of training and life of the drivers.

"Ideally, I should already be starting my physical preparation [the interview was conducted on December 14]. But we have less and less time off-season to really develop the physical part. So you have to be very efficient and assiduous during these times to build up your health and energy capital for the whole year."

On the program are full days of training with lots of cardio and muscle strengthening, and meals every two hours.

"It's important to have endurance and mass at the start of the season because racing dries you out a lot."

Despite these new constraints and all the work that awaits him at Haas, Esteban Ocon seems to have put all the chances on his side to bounce back in 2025 and beyond.

[gunsatthaphan]

Desperately trying to fill the THK-shaped hole in my heart - as a fellow connoisseur of FK, were there any particular scenes or moments in THK that stood out to you/you loved the most/you've re-watched the most (I know you don't like picking favourites so I'm trying to phrase it differently!)? Both for them as individual actors and as a pairing?

hi anon!

the THK-shaped hole is gaping and it still hurts 😭 I miss them sm.

but I'm glad you asked lol.

As far as KaBi scenes go, the ones that come to mind that altered my brain chemistry are the swing scene in ep10 and the aurora scene in ep12 as those will forever be engraved into my brain lol. The swing scene because I think it did a phenomenal job showcasing the shift from their faulty/guilt-ridden relationship on Kant's part to the big blowup to them overcoming everything and eventually falling into eo and being 100% devoted to eo and especially FK's ability to micromanage their chemistry throughout the entire narrative according to KaBi's individual underlying emotions blows me away to say the least. Legendary.

The Iceland scene just made me sob altogether lol, them under the lights in their poofy jackets lost in their own world was the purest form of bliss and love and softness and there could not have been a better ending for them 🥺 that scene is everything I could have asked for for them. But those are just 2 of many outstanding scenes because like i said, their chemistry peaked in this show and I could fill books with how insane they still make me feel.

Honorable mentions go to the slightly cringe but endlessly entertaining scenes of "do u like it rough or sth?" in episode 3 (including the clamping and slapping incident) because that was insane and also the dance battle in ep2 which was the perfect blend between ridiculous and epic lmao.

Some Kant solo scenes I appreciated were him as Tonkhao the caddy boy in ep10 aka "I'm willing to change my name, look and profession but I will NOT lie about being gay af" and also him sneaking into Heart Burger in very bad disguise in ep2 and Bison NOT recognizing him, followed by the shenanigans in that stall, 10/10 peak comedy. Needless to say First deserves endless praise for Kant's microexpressions, specifically his transition from playfully flirting to genuinely falling in love and feeling guilty, he did a phenomenal job all around. 14/10 as usual.

Cherished Bison performances include the fireman scene with Fadel in ep4 which showed his duality very nicely, his wish to live a normal life and gradually finding out the truth about Lilly and his parents etc. And then pretty much the entirety of him holding Kant hostage on the beach in ep8, including him eventually breaking down as I consider that Khao's best performance in the show. Exceptional. Outstanding. Show-stopping.

They were all in all outstanding in this, which is not me disregarding or diminishing JoongDunk's performances though because they peaked here as well and I'm very much proud and in awe of all of them 🥺

xxx

[storkmuffin]

The Magic of San (4/n)

Marilyn Monroe Sidebar Part 2 /4

Basically I just want to talk about Marilyn Monroe and San at the same time for no very good reason.

"Dumb", Guilelessness, Softness, Sweetness. San reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, of all people, because they both manage to combine things that you wouldn't think would normally go very well together - being brilliant performers, very funny and witty, competent at surviving and thriving in a cut-throat artistic and commercial environment, and yet still very appearing very approachable, touchable, vulnerable, and real. You could argue that the word DUMB might apply - and often is applied - to both: Marilyn is the 'dumb' blonde, San is often the 'dumb' jock or the 'naive' country boy, especially in comparison to the fast talking, huckster style swagger of his actual best friend cum frequent dance and acting partner, Wooyoung.

And this is where San being a boy gives him a major advantage over Marilyn Monroe. What would immediately be called stupidity in a woman is just guilesness, and openness, in a man. Even cuteness, which is very amusing given how mascular he is.

San is given to malapropisms in Korean and also apparently in English, that KQ has just adapted as part of his persona. He calls beam projectors 'holograms.' He's learning English as he goes (and honestly, Korean and English are the hardest languages for natives speakers of either to learn, without there being a full on immersion experience, so anyone doing this, KUDOS, so he made a transliteration error (Ateez of San - which is just plugging in English words into a Korean word order: 에이티즈의 산입니다).

He's such a country boy that even after 2 years of training to be a kpop idol and then several years as a globe trotting international pop star who lives in Seoul, he doesn't know boundaries of what's actually considered 강남, as seen in Wanteez Episode 28. It's confusing, potentially, because there's an actual subway stop caled 강남역 (Gangnam Station) which isn't fully in 강남구 (Gangnam district) - it straddles 서초구 and 강남구 - and then we call a really specific part of the city that is the eastern portion of the area south of the Han River 강남 to denote the 'fancy' and 'moneyed' part. (Once you're in the 강남 discussion it further subdivides into specific districts, which has their own 'strengths' - luxury shopping is in 청담, the fanciest education happens in 도곡 etc).

It does say something about Idol life too, by the way, that this guy from Namhae has one of the most 강남 type jobs (Kpop Idol) but doesn't know exactly what area 강남 actually covers.

Moreover, the guilelessness, the slight 'not sharp'ness that both San and Marilyn Monroe give off is combind with a sense of vulnerability. I want to protect them, somehow, which is not actually factually necessary.

Marilyn was actually a very tough woman - she survived trauma after disappointment after betrayal to get to where she got in her career, any one of which would have made me collapse in on myself. San is someone who can sing and dance fluidly in front of 50,000 people at a time, which - even the thought of standing in front of a crowd like that makes me want to go to the bathroom really really badly.

Nevertheless, everyone who loves Marilyn Monroe wants to go back in time to save her, and protect her. She needed that protection too, and never got it.

The thing that I find very reassuring about San's life as portrayed in KQ media material is that he has been given the sort of childhood that Marilyn would've longed for. He was absolutely adored by his parents, from the sounds of it. He was one of several KQ boys who said to his mother, "I am so glad I had you as my parents. I would want to have you as my parents again." His mother said to San, "I had such a wonderful time raising you. It was an entirely joyful experience." Norma Jean Baker would've given anything to either have that childhood herself or be able to provide it to someone else. San's mother also seems to have been an ideal sort of not-stage-mom: Enthused about her child's potential, very supportive about his dreams, but not living vicariously through him or hijacking his life to fulfill some gap in hers.

The nurse tending to Marilyn during a very traumatic intake at a mental institution where she'd been forcibly committed - her ultimate nightmare - said of her that while the nurse had expected a spoiled, slick Hollywood character, what she encountered was an exceptionally sweet, gentle-mannered and frightened woman, whom the nurse at this mental institution in the 50s (!) wanted to protect. Workmen who were doing roadwork outside of Marilyn's house one time told a biographer this story about how she loved to come out and hang out with them. They treated her like a kid sister, and she'd come and talk and bring them drinks and just be a darling, being nice.

San's behavior during the 'reality' content that Ateez makes has this same, sweet, gentle mannered, and considerateness that I very much want to believe is real. Like this time on the promotional content for Bouncy, San had the penalty for going to help some older ladies prep peppers. The content was OVER. The staff told him it was OVER but he insists that Ateez, the pop boy band, have to finish this farm country chore of prepping the peppers for drying.

San was the only one of the Ateez boys who knew how to talk to old country women. He was so at ease with them and with himself, and made fun conversation. The other Ateez members did give me a bit of an unwelcome insight into what Korean stiffness looks like when we get like that - more afraid of being wrong than considering what the other person may experience as coldness or stiffness, and as a consequence coming off as both rude and awkward. San has said he watched his grandparents be happily married and good friends to each oher, and how that affected his view on family. He knew to ask these old ladies, What are you working on? He asked them if they'd eaten and so on. When Jongho began to sing in his "I'm a Virtuouso Actually" way, San was the one that provided call-and-response back up so he wouldn't be singing into an uncomfortable silence. San is a LOVELY person.

And yet, for all that? After all of that? None of the old biddies chose him as her favorite! Oof! Poor showing, old ladies! And yet even this didn't phase him. He just was sad about it aloud, and then got over it.

The final kicker though, the thing that sealed my love for him forever, was that after the old ladies left because they had done their bit, filming was supposed to wrap. But San sat himself back down and despite the staff telling him, You're finished for the day, he said, But weren't they actually working on the peppers? We're just going to leave it for them? They can't do all this by themselves! We have to help. And because he was so adamant, all these other Ateez boys, who I would hazard would never actually do this work of pepper prep at home or anywhere, all sat down next to him and finished the work for the old ladies. Because San said so.

[ginawankenobi]

Juliet Burke is a Tragic Hero (and Her Fatal Flaw is Insecurity)

(Thanks so much to @taweretsdagger, @eponine119, and @obsessivedaydreamer for beta-reading for me!)

PREAMBLE: What Even IS a Tragic Hero?

It’s Juliet Burke, I told you in the title. Essay over!

Haha, did you think you were going to get out of reading this that quickly? No way, dudes, buckle up! Anyway, once upon a time, a super smart guy named Aristotle said a tragic hero is a character who a) is virtuous, b) is flawed, and c) suffers a reversal of fortune (from good to bad). I tend to agree with him. In this full-length novel - I mean, essay - I will explain exactly why Juliet Burke fits this archetype, and why this means there is concrete scientific proof that she is the best character in all of media!

Okay, that last bit might be my bias talking. I’ll work on that. Here we go!

PART ONE: Preliminary Evidence

Exhibit A: What’s in a Name

Juliet shares a name with a Shakespearean tragic hero.

Shakespeare’s Juliet falls in love with a member of a rival family. Lost’s Juliet first forms a relationship with Jack, the leader of a rival group (crash survivors vs. the Others), then falls in love with James, another member of said rival group.

Each Juliet appears to die once, but truly (tragically) dies later on.

This spelling of Juliet was popularized due to Shakespeare’s work.

The name Juliet is likely derived from the Latin word iuvenis, meaning “youthful,” or Jovis, which is another form of the name of the Roman god Jupiter/Jove the “sky father.” Juliet means “Jove’s child, youthful, downy.”

Juliet speaks Latin, the language of the Romans, fluently.

A young/youthful person is considered to be someone between the ages of 20 and 40; Juliet is around 33 years old when we first meet her.

“Downy” refers to soft, fluffy hair; Juliet has downy blonde hair.

In the Middle Ages, Juliet became a female form of the name Julian; Juliet has a nephew Julian, presumably named after her.

Exhibit B: I Write Sins AND Tragedies

Tragic heroes must garner sympathy from the audience. Early on, Juliet garners sympathy from the audience in the following ways:

Jack threatens Juliet’s life and Ben seems unbothered, then closes her out of the safe room, showing the first signs of the fissures in their relationship.

Her profession as a doctor/fertility specialist/medical researcher establishes credibility.

She has a very close relationship with her sister.

Her ex-husband is clearly depicted as a shitty individual who treated her terribly.

She is self-deprecating, referring to herself as “a mess.”

Colleen’s injury and subsequent death genuinely throw her off-balance.

She helps Kate and Sawyer escape Hydra island (though selfish reasoning does factor into this decision).

She is nearly sentenced to death but instead is branded with a mark for her actions in helping Kate and Sawyer.

She displays genuine happiness when she does the ultrasound for Sun.

Ben is essentially holding her hostage on the island, and she hates him just as much as Jack and the other survivors do.

Like the crash survivors, she desires nothing more than to go home.

There are many more instances of Juliet gaining sympathy from the audience in later episodes, such as Ben showing her Goodwin’s corpse and creepily telling her “you’re mine.” These instances continue to build throughout the rest of the series, transforming Juliet from potential adversary into primary hero.

PART TWO: VIRTUES

Juliet is often virtuous to the point of her own detriment, and in fact, it’s the very reason she doesn’t leave the island with the Oceanic 6.

SEASON THREE.

Early on we don’t know her or her motives very well, but in retrospect, her true self shines through.

We don’t yet know that it’s “Henry Gale” she’s referring to in episode one as she rants to her book club about Ben, but looking back this moment illustrated from the very beginning that Juliet is willing to defy Ben.

Mid-rant, when the island shakes due to the shift in the magnetic field, she jumps into protective leader mode and directs everyone to get into the doorway for safety.

Throwing her canteen to Sawyer seems like a manipulation tactic at the time (and it still may have been in part), but odds are it’s mostly a genuine gesture.

Holding her gun to Kate to get Sawyer to drop his weapon makes her seem cold, and is frustrating at first because we’ve been set up to root for Sawyer and Kate. In reality, it’s quick thinking on Juliet’s part that spared Sawyer (and probably Kate) further risk of violence, as she’s able to quell the situation with no bloodshed or further consequences.

Even handcuffing herself to Kate isn't entirely disingenuous. Yes, we find out she did it as part of Ben's plan, but looking back we can tell it's true she wants to belong with them, and she hates Ben for making her act as a spy.

SEASON FOUR.

As time passes and we see Juliet freed from the guise of a double agent, we also see more and more of her altruistic and selfless nature.

She had just gone with Sawyer back to the beach on what she believed was a suicide mission, as “karma” for her past actions.

She teams up with Sayid to help Jack and Kate when they’re held hostage by Miles and Daniel (well, mostly Miles, let’s be real).

Back at the barracks, she had been helping take care of Zach and Emma, and was (according to Ben) very good with them.

When she believes Daniel and Charlotte are going to release a toxic gas around the island, she once again goes on a mission risking her own safety to stop them.

She sacrifices her budding friendship with Sun to keep her from going to Locke’s camp, since she knew Sun would die from the complications of her pregnancy if she didn’t leave the island.

She performs a badass guerilla surgery on Jack to save his life, and doesn’t let his stubbornness stop her from doing what needs to be done.

Knowing Jack’s heart truly lies with Kate (and he won’t admit it to himself yet), Juliet sets aside her own feelings to make sure Kate knows how Jack feels, and subtly ensures he hears her.

Juliet insists Sun be among the first group to leave the island for the freighter, and also insists that she stay until everyone else is safe, sacrificing the thing she wants most in favor of guarding the safety of the rest of the group.

SEASON FIVE.

We truly see Juliet come into her own during the flashes and when the remaining group enters the Dharma Initiative in the 1970s.

When running from the flaming arrows, she once again puts herself in harm’s way trying to save another member of the group.

She manages to calm Sawyer down multiple times when he starts to lose control of his emotions.

She takes out the unknown people shooting at them from the other outrigger, preventing any injuries to her group.

She shows leadership by going along with Sawyer’s plan and keeping him and the group grounded as the flashes get more chaotic.

She directly saves Sawyer’s life by shooting one of the people holding Amy hostage before he can shoot Sawyer.

Her quick thinking and calm persuasive nature come in handy when they capture a young Charles Widmore and his ally; she’s unable to sway Widmore to help them, but would have swayed the other Other had Widmore not killed him. This makes it possible for John to track Widmore to his camp.

She has Sawyer’s back constantly.

She comforts Daniel when they lose Charlotte. I genuinely don’t believe Daniel would have mentally recovered at all had Juliet not been there, but that’s my biased opinion coming into play again. (A good researcher must acknowledge their own bias, or so I’ve heard.)

Despite the trauma of having lost several pregnant patients on the island, she agrees to deliver Amy’s baby.

Juliet has the idea of adding the returning crash survivors to the sub’s manifest in order to bring them in safely and subtly.

Despite everything she knows Future Ben will do to her, she refuses to let it affect her treatment of 1977 Ben and saves his life anyway. She even goes as far as angrily confronting Jack and calling him out for not helping also.

When the chains pull her down during The Incident, she knows Sawyer won’t let go and will get dragged down too if she doesn’t let go, so she does.

She hits the hydrogen bomb, not for herself, but because she wants Sawyer to be able to go home, literally sacrificing herself for the man she loves.

It’s going to hurt me too much to write any further on the Incident, so that’s all, folks.

PART THREE: FATAL FLAWS

If there was a Reddit-like thread dedicated solely to the Reasons Juliet Burke is Insecure, it would probably look something like this:

i/career

Juliet refers to herself as “a mess.” This is pre-island, and almost certainly due (at least in part) to her ex-husband’s treatment of her, but does continue on throughout the series. She displays a severe lack of confidence in herself and her abilities, despite being obviously brilliant and a groundbreaking expert in her field.

She is unable to solve the crisis facing pregnant women on the island, and this furthers the insecurity and impostor syndrome she already experiences.

In Dharmaville, she refuses to work as a doctor and opts for a career in the motor pool because she is so afraid, and has lost confidence in her ability to help pregnant people.

i/social

Juliet feels like all eyes are on her when she comes to the island, and it makes her feel isolated. She does not enjoy public attention or being put on a pedestal.

She is not shown to have many close friends, apart from perhaps Amelia. The rest of the Others seem to view her as someone special in Ben’s eyes, as Goodwin talks about Ben’s crush on her like it’s common knowledge (though Juliet herself seems oblivious at the time). It seems she doesn’t believe other people would genuinely want to befriend her.

Tom also mentions to Jack that Juliet and Ben have “history,” which I’ve personally always inferred to mean Ben talks to him about Juliet on a regular basis. It’s possible Juliet may have confided a bit in Tom too, at least about how much she wanted to go home, but I think most of what he knows about her is through Ben.

i/relationships

Her parents.

Their divorce during her childhood did some major damage to her ability to believe she could find true love that would stand the test of time. She seemed to view all relationships as temporary from that point on.

Edmund “the Asshat” Burke.

Due to the emotional baggage surrounding her parents’ divorce, she seems to have settled for this guy, who does not even remotely resemble True Love Material.

This creepazoid of a human being shot any confidence she had to hell. How exactly he did this is not shown to us, but it can be inferred by what we do see of their relationship. He likely cheated on her, and even after their divorce, Juliet feels she can’t go anywhere or do anything without his approval (and likely contracts they still have in place, or something of that nature).

And yet, Juliet still cried for him when he died. So much more than he deserves, if you ask me and my completely unbiased opinion on this matter.

Goodwin “the Luckiest Man Alive (until he wasn’t)” Stanhope.

Juliet refuses to allow Goodwin to fully leave his wife (even after she learns that Harper knows about their affair), though he states they’re basically separated already. It’s likely she is worried a relationship between them wouldn’t work out if it lacked the “excitement” and freedom of their situationship.

He was taken from her too, and she had to cry over the death of yet another man she was in a relationship with.

Jack “Fumbled at the 5 Yard Line” Shephard.

Jack represents everything Edmund wasn’t; he’s also a doctor, but one with integrity, and one who treats her like a human and an equal.

Juliet thought for a moment that she’d found what she was looking for and that Jack could save her and break the pattern, but she realized his heart was with someone else.

This helped reinforce her (incorrect) belief that she wasn’t destined for lasting love, that she’d always be second best (specifically to Kate Austen).

James “True Love Material” Ford.

Due to everything she endured, even when she FOUND the thing she previously thought un-find-able, she still believed it was too good to be true.

Because of her history being Jack’s second choice to Kate, on top of the history she knows James has with Kate, the second she thinks (again, incorrectly) that James would choose Kate over her, she lets her insecurity win.

She throws everything away based on James looking at Kate in what Juliet perceives to be a meaningful way, even though it seems that look is meaningless to James himself. Juliet convinces herself she will lose him, so much so that she wants to erase the memory of them ever having met in the first place.

She disregards all evidence to the contrary:

James helping save Ben’s life even though he didn’t want to, but he did it anyway because she asked him to

Grabbing her hand and continuously affirming that he has her back

Telling her he loves her when they’re on the sub and grinning bashfully at her like a boy in puppy love

Talking about the life they’d have once they leave the island

James literally and very seriously threatening Phil’s life because he hit Juliet - I don’t recall that he ever reacted so strongly to anyone hurting Kate

The entire 3 years they spent together; she lets her insecurity and intrusive thoughts tell her it didn’t mean what it meant/it was impermanent

PART FOUR: REVERSALS OF FORTUNE

Juliet experiences a reversal of fortune from bad to good when she joins the crash survivors and exposes Ben’s plans, cementing herself as one of them instead of an “Other.” Sadly, tragic heroes must experience a reversal of fortune in the other direction as well, which ultimately leads to their downfall.

For Juliet, one could argue the good-to-bad reversal occurs when Jack and his group arrive back on the island in 1977 Dharmaville. From there, her stable life with James is thrown into upheaval that does not cease until she…well, ceases. To live. I could probably come up with a better way to word that, but by this point, my brain is beginning to fry. (A good researcher must also be honest, I’ve heard.)

Juliet clocks it immediately, telling James their life there is over. From that point on, regardless of how true that actually is, Juliet believes it’s the beginning of the end and becomes determined to self-fulfill that prophecy. Tragedy lies in the fact that she and James almost escaped, they were this close to leaving the island, but once again a wrench was thrown into the plans (I didn’t even intend that Dharma motor pool mechanic pun, but there you go).

They begin by wanting to stop Jack from detonating the bomb, but Juliet’s insecurities cause her to change her mind when she attaches meaning to a look he gives Kate. She lets herself believe the intrusive thoughts and ignore the evidence. Though personally I feel there could have been stronger reasoning displayed for Juliet’s decision, it does make sense from what we know of her that feeling second best (and to Kate specifically) would get in her way and lead to her own downfall.

Because Juliet goes along with Jack’s plan, she winds up caught in the chains that pull her down the shaft of the Swan station. Selfless to the end, Juliet lets go of James when it becomes clear he will also fall if she doesn’t, and her final act is detonating the bomb - not in hopes of getting herself home, but to get the man she loves home. She gives everything she has left to give him the thing she has so desperately wanted for 6 years, not realizing that the only future he really wanted was one with her.

PART FIVE: CONCLUSIONS

Swans can symbolize many things, including love and transformation. Juliet dying in the Swan station ruins symbolizes the completion of her transformation into a tragic hero, as well as her transformation into the flash sideways version of herself. Her love for James is also evident here, given her sacrifice; their final conversation also foreshadows their reunion in the flash sideways.

In short, if you skipped all the way down here and want the tl;dr, everything we come to know about Juliet and the progression of her arc can only bring us to the conclusion that she is in fact a tragic hero (and the best character in anything ever, according to my bias). Thankfully, the writers did do us one big kindness, and she got to be reunited with her soulmate in the afterlife and have the happily ever after they were cheated out of in life. They realized the errors of their ways, perhaps slightly too late, but whatever happened happened and I have totally made my peace with it. Totally.

If you actually read all of this, THANK YOU, you are just as awesome as Juliet Burke in my eyes. THE END! Unless I think of more later on. So, to be continued?

[msklassickilla]

Delirious | J. Uso|R. Reigns Thirteen

Summary: When Titania buys an old typewriter from a closing thrift store, she thinks it’s just a vintage gem—until the words she types start coming true. However, the typewriter doesn’t just bring fantasies to life—it twists them. Giving Titania way more than she bargained for.

Pairing: Titania Marshall (Black OC) x Jey Uso x Roman Reigns

Author’s Note: This story is another AU thing. So, it might align, or it might not. I will try my best to keep it current enough. Nonetheless, it’s mash up of a few things: That one episode of Goosebumps. That one episode of the Twilight Zone. And that movie by the same title, Delirious featuring John Candy. I’ma make it work. Plus, I like mystical spooky shit with a bit of Jerry Springer type mess.

Warning(s): Minor foul/harsh language.

Disclaimer: This work of art is fictional in nature including the original characters created by me. I do not own any of the existing characters or lyrics from songs referenced in this story (if any). All rights belong to their respective owners with the exception of my original characters. This work is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to cause harm.

Thirteen

The final days in her old home blurred together, a mess of taped-up boxes, empty walls, and half-hearted goodbyes to a space she had once cherished. Titania moved through it all like a spectator, watching her life fold itself into neat compartments.

Jey had been gone for most of it, back on the road doing what he did best. Titania tried not to mind, reminding herself that she was dating Main Event Jey Uso. The fans adored him. He had become the heartbeat of WWE’s biggest storylines. This was what she signed up for. She just had to get used to sharing him.

Still, it was hard not to feel alone. The night before the move, she found herself lingering in the spare room. Everything had been cleared out except one thing. The typewriter sat on the floor, untouched. Silent.

Titania leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, staring at the machine like it might spring to life at any moment. It hadn’t written anything in days. No messages. No threats. Nothing.

She should have felt relief. Instead, a strange bitterness curled in her chest. She wanted no part of whatever this thing was anymore. Maybe she’d just leave it behind. Leave a note for the next tenant to burn it, smash it, send it back to whatever hell it had crawled out of.

The decision was made. It was staying. Titania turned on her heel and shut the door one last time. The next morning came fast. The house was stripped bare, nothing left but echoes of a past she was ready to abandon.

She had originally planned to drive down to Florida, but Jey had been against it.

“You not about to be on the road that long by yourself,” he had said, voice firm in a way that left no room for argument.

Titania had made the drive to Atlanta plenty of times to visit her family, but to keep the peace, she booked a flight. The airport was uneventful, the flight went smoothly. She spent most of it catching up on work, letting herself slip into the comforting monotony of emails and deadlines. But it wasn’t until the plane landed that reality finally hit her.

Florida was home now.

Titania wove through the crowd toward baggage claim, her stomach twisting with nerves. She spotted a driver near the carousel, holding a tablet with her name on it. Jey had mentioned getting her a car service, but actually seeing it made the moment feel more permanent.

Titania approached him, exchanging pleasantries while waiting for her luggage. The man was older, polite, easy to talk to. When her bags arrived, he loaded them into the sleek black SUV, and they set off.

The drive was quiet. Titania watched the palm trees blur past, the neon-lit city fading into winding streets lined with luxury homes. She had been to Florida plenty of times—Spring Break with Mia, girls' trips with Tamya. But living here? That was different.

Her nerves tightened the closer they got. Not just because of the move, but because she still had no idea what games were waiting for her.

The SUV rolled to a stop, and Titania’s breath hitched. The house was perfect. Just like the pictures. Tucked away in an upscale enclave, private but not isolated. The front yard was manicured to perfection, the driveway clean and wide. The house itself was stunning— modern but warm, with tall windows and a stone pathway leading up to the entrance.

Titania barely heard the driver ask if she needed help with her bags. She quickly assured him she had it, handing him a tip before he drove off.

For a moment, she just stood there.

This was hers. Titania and Jey Uso’s home.

She smiled as she fished out the key, walking up the stone path, her heart pounding. She took a deep breath and stepped inside. The house greeted her with silence. Sunlight filtered through the massive windows, casting golden streaks across the polished floors. The space was bright, open, and eerily pristine. Like it had been waiting for her.

Titania exhaled slowly, stepping further in. Everything she had ever wanted in a home was right here. A fruit basket sat on the kitchen counter, nestled next to two champagne glasses and a bottle of Dom Pérignon.

Titania’s lips quirked up. The realtor must have left it as a welcome gift.

A nice touch.

She plucked a grape from the basket, popping it into her mouth before reaching for the champagne. If Jey had been here, they would have celebrated together. But things had changed.

Titania popped the bottle open, watching the bubbles fizz up before pouring herself a glass. She swirled the liquid, letting the weight of the moment settle in.

This was it. This was home. She raised the glass in a toast, speaking into the empty space.

“To new beginnings,” she murmured. “To living in the moment. To loving the story the way, it is.”

She took a slow sip, letting the crisp champagne linger on her tongue. For the first time in weeks, hope settled in her chest.

Titania smiled to herself.

The past was being left behind. And she wasn’t looking back.

----

Titania woke up early, blinking against the soft morning light filtering through the bare bedroom windows. The air smelled faintly of fresh paint and new beginnings. She stretched, rolling her stiff shoulders as she adjusted on the makeshift pallet she had created for herself on the floor.

The moving pod wouldn’t arrive until later, so she was living out of her suitcase for now. Jey was still gone, off handling work obligations, but she didn’t mind. They had stayed on the phone for hours last night, his voice filling the empty spaces of the house as she walked from room to room, showing him everything over FaceTime.

She had been giddy, telling him about all the ideas she had for decorating.

"Do whatever, baby. Price don’t matter," Jey had said, his voice warm with affection.

Titania had smiled, liking the way that sounded.

She rolled onto her side, checking her phone. It was just after seven, too early for deliveries, but her stomach was already protesting the lack of food. She ordered breakfast through UberEATS, knowing there wasn’t a single dish or pot in the house yet.

While waiting, she pulled on a hoodie and stepped outside onto the patio. The pool shimmered under the rising sun, the water still and inviting. She took a deep breath, letting the humid Florida air settle in her lungs. It felt different here. Quieter. Maybe this could really be home.

----

Later that morning, the doorbell rang, and Titania found the realtor on the porch, holding out a small envelope.

"Here are the extra keys," the woman said, smiling. "Figured I’d drop them off in person, see how you were settling in."

Titania thanked her, stepping aside to let her in. The realtor was an older woman with kind eyes and an easy demeanor. She lingered, chatting about the neighborhood, how it was private but safe, how the community looked out for each other.

"It’s the perfect place for a fresh start," she said with a knowing smile.

Titania nodded, though the words felt strange. The visit was brief, and once the realtor left, Titania called her parents while lounging by the pool. She had been putting it off, knowing they would have plenty to say about her moving in with Jey.

Her mother was thrilled, asking a million questions, while her father was more direct.

"So, when you and Jey settle in, we’ll come stay for a few days," he said matter-of-factly.

Titania hesitated. She knew exactly what that meant. Her father, Gary, had spent years ranking up to become a Sergeant in the US Army, and he had questions. Not the casual kind— the grilling kind.

"You don’t have to do all that, Daddy," Titania said carefully.

Her father scoffed. "Damn right, I do. I gotta see what type of man my daughter done moved across the country for."

Titania sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing. They were coming. It was just a matter of when.

----

By early afternoon, the moving pod arrived, followed by the team of movers Jey had hired. The house became a maze of boxes, the sounds of heavy footsteps and shifting furniture filling every room. Titania tried to stay on top of things, directing where things should go, but it quickly became overwhelming.

She was usually good at organizing, but this was different. It was too much all at once. And the occasional texts from random numbers weren’t helping.

Roman was still blocked, but he still found ways to get his point across. The messages were relentless. At first, they were simple—comments, subtle reminders that she wasn’t done with him yet. But the most recent one was different.

It was a warning.

You can ignore me all you want. But I know you. I know you remember.

Titania’s chest tightened. She didn’t remember. Had no clue what he was talking about, didn’t want to know either. Her thumb hovered over the screen for a moment before she exhaled sharply and deleted the message, blocking the number just like the others.

----

By the time the movers were done, the sun was dipping below the horizon, casting golden light through the massive windows. Titania stood in the middle of the living room, surrounded by unopened boxes. They had decided to get all new furniture, which meant she’d be spending most of tomorrow shopping. For now, the house was still mostly empty, but it was theirs.

She stretched out on the plush carpet, staring up at the ceiling. She had done it. She had made the move. She had started over. Her body ached with exhaustion, but her mind was quiet for the first time in a while.

Maybe things would be better from here on out.

Maybe she could really be happy.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and within minutes, she drifted off, lost in dreams of a future that felt just within reach.

----

Titania spent the morning working through the mountain of boxes scattered across the house. She went from room to room, unpacking piece by piece, turning this house into a home.

The last space left was her new office— a tucked-away room at the very end of the upstairs hallway. It was spacious, with high ceilings and a large window that let in just enough sunlight. She had plans to make this her sanctuary—a place where she could write, work, and have something that was just hers.

She sliced open boxes, pulling out stacks of books, office supplies, framed photos, and small décor pieces. Everything was exactly as she remembered packing it. Until she reached a smaller box.

Titania frowned.

It was plain, unmarked.

She didn’t remember this one.

A strange chill crept up her arms as she grabbed the box cutter, slicing through the tape with careful precision. The flaps folded open, revealing something tightly wrapped in bubble wrap.

Her stomach dropped. Titania froze.

She reached forward hesitantly, peeling the wrapping away piece by piece. And then, she saw it.

The typewriter.

A strangled gasp got caught in her throat. Her chest locked up, a silent scream rattling inside her. Titania pushed away from the box so fast that the carpet burned against her bare skin. Her heart pounded erratically, her breaths coming too shallow, too quick.

No. No. No.

She had left it behind. In Virginia. Hadn’t she?

Titania shook her head, hands gripping her scalp as a wave of nausea curled in her stomach.

She had made sure of it. Right?

A deep, overwhelming dread settled over her. What the fuck was this thing?

How?

Titania scrambled to her feet, stumbling toward the door. Her skin felt tight, suffocating. She needed air— needed to get away from that thing before it could do whatever it did. She bolted down the hallway, taking the stairs faster than she should have, her socked feet nearly slipping on the polished wood. When she reached the kitchen, she grabbed onto the counter, forcing herself to breathe.

Her phone rang.

Titania nearly jumped out of her skin. She fumbled to grab it from the counter, seeing Jey’s name flash across the screen. He was FaceTiming her. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to calm down. Her hands still shook, so she balled them into fists before tapping the screen to answer.

Jey’s bright smile greeted her, bringing a sliver of warmth through the chaos rattling inside her.

"Yo, Tee," he greeted, his voice smooth, easy. The sound of weights clanking in the background told her he was in the gym.

Titania tried to mirror his warmth, but her voice betrayed her.

Jey’s smile faltered. His brow furrowed; eyes instantly sharp with concern.

"Aye, what’s wrong?"

Titania plastered on a smile, shaking her head. "Nothing. Just… the move is kicking my ass."

Jey studied her for a long moment, then sighed, rubbing a towel over his face. "Man, I feel bad I ain't there to help, baby. I shoulda took more time off."

"You had to work," Titania said quickly. "I got it handled."

Jey still didn’t seem convinced. "I got a few days off coming up. We’ll finish everything together, alright?"

Titania nodded, feeling a bit lighter. Jey always knew how to recenter her, how to make things feel stable. They talked for a little longer before Jey had to get back to training. When they hung up, Titania still felt the weight of what was waiting for her upstairs.

She needed to get out of here. In no shape, form, or fashion was she ready to deal with that thing.

Furniture shopping. That was the perfect excuse.

Titania threw on a pair of denim shorts, a baby tee, and strappy sandals, letting the warm May air kiss her skin as she stepped outside. The idea of exploring her new city felt like freedom. She spent hours drifting from store to store, eyeing modern sofas, intricate chandeliers, and statement pieces that spoke to the life she envisioned with Jey.

Then, she found it—a luxury furniture store tucked between designer boutiques. The moment she stepped inside, Titania felt her heart swell. Everything screamed money. Plush carpets, well-crafted bedroom sets, sleek glass tables that glistened under the showroom lights. The scent of expensive leather and polished wood filled the space.

An associate approached, all smiles and a well-rehearsed pitch. But Titania was already sold. She was in love. She walked through the store, running her fingers over velvet cushions, eyeing unique floor lamps, picturing how every detail would transform her home.

She texted Jey about her finds, sending photos of outrageously priced sectionals and gold-accented bar stools.

Jey’s response came quick.

Get whatever you want, baby. Ain’t no budget.

Titania shimmed in delight. This was exactly the life she imagined with a man like him. By the time she finalized everything and set a delivery date for two days out, her mood had completely shifted.

This was her fresh start. Her dream life was unfolding right in front of her. On the way home, she made a quick grocery store stop, picking up essentials to hold her over until she did a full haul.

Even then, she wasn’t in a rush to get back. The house would be waiting. So would the thing upstairs.

----

Titania was exhausted by the time she finished unloading the car and putting everything away. Sweat clung to her skin, and her muscles ached from the constant lifting and bending. A shower was needed. The warm water soothed some of the tension, washing away the exhaustion of the day. She wrapped herself in a robe, tying it securely before heading back to the kitchen.

Two things happened at once.

Her phone vibrated on the counter, and the doorbell rang. Titania froze for a second, unsure of which to answer first. The doorbell won.

She padded toward the front door, glancing through the peephole. Nothing. The porch was empty, and the street was quiet. That was odd. Slowly, she unlocked the door and pulled it open, only to find a package sitting neatly on the welcome mat.

She and Jey had updated their addresses, but as far as she knew, neither of them had ordered anything. Stepping outside, she glanced around, scanning the neighborhood for any sign of a delivery driver, but there was no one. A strange chill passed through her as she picked up the box, heavier than she expected, and carried it inside.

Setting it down on the kitchen counter, she inspected the label. Her name was printed clearly on the front, but the sender’s address was listed as a P.O. Box. No business name. No return contact. Just the initials B.D.

Titania hesitated, her fingers tightening around the edges of the box. Against her better judgment, she grabbed a knife and carefully sliced through the tape.

Inside was a sleek black box, the words Venus Et Fleur etched across the top in elegant gold lettering. Titania’s breath hitched. She knew this brand—high-end eternity roses that lasted for years. Lifting the lid, she was met with a stunning bouquet of deep red roses, at least 150 of them, neatly arranged and perfectly preserved. The scent filled the kitchen, intoxicating and rich.

She smiled despite herself. She loved roses. Jey would bring them home sometimes, always grinning like he had just thought of it on a whim. Maybe these were from him, a surprise to welcome her home.

She reached for the small card nestled inside.

"You always loved roses. Congrats on the new house."

Titania’s smile faded.

It was him. Roman.

Her fingers tightened around the card. Jey must have given him the address, just like he had with Jimmy. He had no idea the problems he was causing with his big mouth. Roman had already been relentless before the move. Now, he was within driving distance.

Her phone buzzed again.

Titania grabbed it, flipping the screen over to check the message, and her entire body went rigid. Roman.

That didn’t make sense. She had blocked him. Over a week ago.

Her pulse quickened as she stared at the screen, trying to process what she was seeing.

Tee, at least say you got the damn flowers. The least you could do.

Titania’s stomach twisted. How? Her fingers trembled as she scrolled to her contacts, searching for his name. When she found it, her breath hitched. His number was unblocked.

That was impossible.

Her heart pounded. She knew for a fact she hadn’t done it. Her thumb hovered over the screen, hesitating, before her mind finally pieced it together. The typewriter.

Her jaw clenched as a wave of anger crashed over her. Of course.

Titania turned on her heel, her movements sharp as she stormed through the house and up the stairs. She didn’t hesitate this time. The door to the office was slightly ajar, and when she pushed it open, the sight nearly knocked the breath from her lungs.

It was sitting neatly on the desk.

Unwrapped.

Placed perfectly under the warm glow of the lamp.

Titania’s lips parted, her chest rising and falling unevenly. She had just unboxed and put that desk together this morning. The typewriter had been wrapped in bubble wrap, stuffed away, locked inside a box that shouldn’t have even been here.

And yet, there it was. Waiting. Watching.

Titania exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “What the fuck are you? You can pack yourself up and unwrap yourself too? I left you in Virginia for a reason. And now you’re here causing more chaos. You unblocked him? Why?”

Silence.

To anyone else, it would look like she was insane—a woman standing in an empty room, yelling at a piece of old machinery. But Titania wasn’t crazy. She knew what this thing was. Knew it was listening.

There was a quiet standoff between them. She leaned against the wall, arms folded tight, waiting for whatever came next. The keys didn’t clack. No paper shifted.

But words appeared anyway.

Titania hesitated before moving closer.

I’m a reflection of you. And I won’t be leaving as fate would have it. And oh, what fun is it if temptation is blocked? He’s inevitable. Don’t run.

Her throat tightened. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be her life.

Titania took a step back. She couldn’t do this. Not right now. A headache was forming. She reached for the lamp, flicking it off in one sharp movement, casting the typewriter in shadow. Then, she walked out. She didn’t slam the door, didn’t curse or scream. She just left.

At some point, she was going to have to accept her fate. But she damn sure wasn’t going down without a fight.

----

Titania moved through the next two days as expected. She talked to Jey whenever he had a moment, kept up with Mia, and listened to Naomi’s excited plans for her visit. Her family checked in as well, her mother already pressing for dates when they could come down. She reassured them all, playing the role of a woman settling into her new home with ease. And for the most part, things felt normal—except for Roman.

She didn’t even try to block him. His number was locked into her phone like a permanent fixture, his texts slipping through no matter how much she ignored them. He still pushed, still sent his veiled threats and reminders of a past she refused to claim. But Titania had learned something in these last few weeks.

If Roman really wanted to tell Jey, he would have done it by now. That thought alone gave her the confidence to ignore him completely.

At noon, the furniture arrived. The movers worked swiftly, assembling each piece with practiced ease. By three o’clock, the house no longer felt hollow. Every bedroom had a bed now. The living room, dining room, and most of the movie room were furnished. Titania left the game room untouched, saving that for when she and Jey could set it up together.

She collapsed onto the plush brown suede sectional in the living room, her legs stretched across the cushions. The massive TV Jey had insisted on dominated the space above the fireplace mantle, playing some mindless cartoon, she wasn’t actually watching. Her attention was on her phone, scrolling through Pinterest for more home décor ideas. She was deep in a board dedicated to interior design when her screen suddenly switched.

Incoming FaceTime Call—Roman.

Titania groaned, rolling her eyes so hard it made her head hurt. He was persistent. She should have declined it, should have kept ignoring him, but something in her itched to see what he would say this time. Maybe she wanted to piss him off, to throw his attitude back in his face for once.

She answered, holding the phone at arm’s length as if distance could lessen his presence.

Roman’s face filled the screen. His dark hair was pulled into a loose bun, sweat glistening on his forehead. She could hear the faint clanking of weights behind him. He was at the gym.

Titania smirked, deciding to be petty. “In a gym, huh? Must be preparing to actually show up to work soon.” Her tone was smug, thick with sarcasm. Roman had been off TV for weeks—something he was notorious for doing whenever he felt like it.

The moment the words left her lips, his expression shifted.

Titania watched as his jaw clenched, his lips pressing into a thin line. His already sharp gaze narrowed. He was mad, but she didn’t care. He had spent weeks pushing her, testing her. Now, she would return the favor.

"Tread lightly, sweetheart,” Roman warned, his voice gruff, deep, carrying something dangerous underneath. “You don’t wanna test me. I’ll make you pay for it.”

Titania didn’t know what had gotten into her, but she couldn’t stop herself. Why did it feel so good to poke at him? To talk to him like he wasn’t Roman Reigns, the most dominant force in wrestling, but just another man—one who had been harassing her for weeks?

“Test you? Like you’ve been testing me?” She tilted her head, feigning curiosity. “You’ve been threatening me daily, and you think I’m supposed to care about your feelings?” She let out a soft, mocking laugh. “Mmm… I think the fuck not.”

Roman was stunned. For a brief moment, he just stared at her, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Then, his head dipped slightly, his glare turning sharper.

He shook his head once, like he was trying to rid himself of something. “Titania, don’t play with me. You remember how this would go. I—”

“I don’t remember anything,” she snapped, cutting him off. “That’s the point, Roman. I don’t know how things went between us because they never happened. I don’t care what you think you remember, but I’m telling you right now, I don’t want to know either.”

Roman’s expression darkened. His lips parted slightly, as if he was about to say something—something she might not have wanted to hear—but then he exhaled sharply. A slow, taunting smile stretched across his lips instead.

“You really wanna do this with me?” His voice was smooth now, calculated. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Okay, Tee. Okay.”

Titania smirked, claiming this as a win. “I gotta go,” she said breezily before ending the call.

Maybe now he’d get the message.

----

She spent the next few hours flipping through channels, eating snacks, and playing games on her phone. At some point, sleep overtook her. She hadn’t realized she had dozed off until the sharp chime of the doorbell rang through the house.

Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the dimly lit room. Oreo cookies scattered onto the couch as she sat up in confusion. Apparently she’d fallen asleep in the midst of eating Oreos off her stomach. A bad habit of hers.

But who the hell was at her door this late?

The doorbell rang again.

Titania frowned, swinging her legs off the couch and standing up. She made her way to the foyer, hesitating for a moment before peeking through the peephole. The porch lights cast long shadows, obscuring whoever was standing there. She cursed under her breath. The doorbell camera hadn’t been installed yet—Jey swore he could do it himself when got home. She was wary of that but agreed in support of him.

The bell rang again.

Titania's patience wore thin. “Who is it?” she called, still trying to see who it was through the peephole.

Silence.

And then the doorbell rang again—longer this time, like whoever was on the other side was holding it down on purpose.

Titania’s frustration flared. Letting her irritation guide her, she unlocked the door and yanked it open.

She regretted it instantly.

Her eyes traveled up—starting from the crisp Jordans on his feet, up black sweatpants that clung to strong legs, past a cotton white t-shirt stretched across his broad chest, and finally landing on his face.

Roman.

He stood in the doorway, towering over her, his presence thick, suffocating. His eyes were heavy-lidded, dark, holding something she couldn’t name. It made her stomach drop. Before Titania could even open her mouth, Roman moved.

A large, calloused hand came up, gripping the side of her neck firmly, possessively. Titania let out a startled breath as he pressed forward, forcing her backward into the house. The door shut behind him with a quiet click.

Trouble had arrived...

----

Read Chapter 14... (coming soon)

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[crooked-wasteland]

The Karen client said about her husband "he probably cheated on me" which implies that she doesn't have any evidence of it, and given that she is meant to be homophobic-commenting that her husband is "poisoning" her daughters with his "immoral" lifestyle-I think the implication is that she is just working off her preconceived assumptions about gay people.

I've seen fans call Stolitz criticals "homophobic" for not understanding this implication and for criticisms of Stolitz, which is part of the reason I'm bringing this up.

In your opinion, does this remove the unfortunate implications of Sinsmas justifying cheating when its between two men, and the portrayal of the woman as an one-d "homophobic Karen"?

In my opinion the way female characters are written in the Helluvaverse is still clearly influenced by misogynistic attitudes, and a more mature media would be able to give complexity and even compassion to "jerkass" characters.

It is true that there are negative stereotypes around Queer people being cheaters, and while the show implies that there is no evidence and so it may not be the case that he cheated, the show also turns around and has Blitz compare his relationship directly onto these characters as a means of saying "Cheating isn't that big a deal".

It's one thing to have the idea that the implication of the victims cheating isn't grounded and the characters genuinely think this is a level of pettiness that even they find unethical (which goes against their entire premise of a business, but let's not think about that). To which the Karen Client should have been made a mockery of. That is how framing sets up that what the character believes is actually something to be critical or skeptical of. Not simply the use of demeaning stereotypes to discredit her.

By the story comparing Blitz and Stolas to the two gay dads in the episode, it is trying to say that cheating doesn't matter. While we don't know if the gay dads were a product of cheating, we are not under that sort of deniability with Stolitz. The message cannot both be "There is no evidence and so they are innocent" as well as "Even if they aren't innocent, they should be innocent". The stereotyping is extrapolated while the justification for cheating is explicit.

The Karen Client as well is not shown to be all that terrible a person. She feels resentful and slighted, but because she is in Hell I'm supposed to believe she deserves to be there? When the premise of the first episode was that Mrs. Mayberry was a model human just under Jesus Christ himself and had one moment of rage from such a deep betrayal by her husband (oh look, cheating again but when this man cheated, it was with another woman so I guess that's why it's bad) that made all the good she did in the world null.

The Karen Client is at best ornery and unpleasant. But that's not evil. And I think this could tangent into a complete discussion over how Medrano's idea of Pure Evil is Beatrice Horseman: a woman who lost hope.

[stories4eve]

★ THE NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES, PARENTAL DYNAMICS!!★

( excuse me for any mischaracterzations of the beasts... I don't know their characters all that well yet!)

(★ @batshikns ... feels nessecary to tag you in this)

Pure Vanilla + his children.

★ Frozen yogurt, being his first child, already establishes a heavy attachment to each other. He absolutely loves his eldest. No matter how much he grows or how he changes, he will always be there to extend a hand to him and welcome him back into his open arms. Pure Vanilla, however, has concerns about his isolation. He tries to get him to make more friends, introduce him to other cookies, and what not. But he watches as they all misunderstand and leave Yogurt behind all alone. So, he picks him up, holds him tight in hopes that he gets the message that "I will always be here for you." But that isn't always something Frozen Yogurt remembers. When both his children do end up spiraling down, he can't help but still blame himself for not trying enough. Maybe if he had been there with Yogurt during that first revelation, this wouldn't have happened. He's not a perfect parent. No one is. There are times when he messes up, times when he has to look to both Hollyberry and Dark Cacao for help. But one thing will always remain: He will have himself ready for his children no matter what happens to them. He is always ready to lead them back on the path if they stray.

★ Cream Vanilla and him are close enough. She's his little angel. Beautiful little girl, whose smile is as bright as the sun. However, he seems to be too careful with her sometimes, and that can frustrate her. He's careful of what he says, but sometimes that little slip of the truth can hurt her by accident. It's not something that's huge, but over time, it can do something to Cream Vanilla. She knows she's not as great as her older brother, but can't understand why Pure Vanilla can't be honest to her about it.. I mean, it's what everyone thinks, right? But Pure Vanilla believes wholeheartedly that she is capable, just not in what Frozen Yougurt's able to achieve. Elsewhere, she will thrive, and he wants to tell her that, but the misunderstanding of his words is something that sticks to Cream Vanilla because because the mindset she's grown to have. Nontheless, he will love her no matter how much she grows to disdain him or curse him. He just wishes that she would wake up from the lies that she's built to protect herself and see that maybe she too has a chance at a fulfilling life.

Shadow Milk + his children

★ Shadow Milk never thought he'd ever be a father, but now here he stands. Despite all the knowledge he's collected over the years, nothing would have ever prepared him for fatherhood to this extent. He, truthfully, tries his best with Frozen Yogurt. Tries to teach him how to hone his magic, and they do form a relationship. One that's genuine, however, with flaws. Shadow Milk is more pushy with him to certain extents, too weary of him ending up like him someday. And when he finally does, Shadow Milk can't help but wonder - was it his insistence that he get out and really show out, caused this? After all, his son can only take so much, he wasn't born to be alone. With raising him, Shadow Milk takes a little bit of a different approach. With Vanillas' all-too-caring nature, someone has to be there to also be a little firmer. That doesn't change the fact that he loves his son. And when the end of his manic episode comes, when push comes to shove, and all has been said.. Like his husband, he will be ready to welcome him back. Albeit, he'll be a little more scolding, ruffling his hair and shaking his head, telling him to never attempt something like that again, all in good nature, though! He was definitely an emotional parent the very least. Part of him kept the joker side of himself, so trust me when I say that Frozen is tired of the badly timed dad jokes. He knows that he says them to spite him, and that's what he hates. They do love each other though.

★ Cream Vanilla? Oh they were the closest with each other! When she was younger, he'd dress up with her, make puppet shows, and other things for her to enjoy. She truly was his little princess. He sees a lot of Candy Apple in her, and that sort of endears him a little, so willing to learn and understand everything around her. However, he can't help but notice as she got older, she tried to avoid him. Was it something he said or did? Was it because he managed to call her out on every lie she told..? I mean, being his daughter, and him being the master of lies, it wasn't hard to tell-- atleast to himself-- when she was lying. What did she want to lie about anyway? Maybe it was how she truly felt, abandoned.. Not enough, never enough for everyone else? He hates the thought of her self-loathing. Does she even know how much he adores her? How much will he give up for her and her brother? Albeit, he is a little blind to her jealousy towards her older brother, and doesn't understand her reasonings then. When she turns away from them for good, he can't help but feel conflicted. He learns of how she feels truthfully, how she lied just like him to protect herself and others from the world that they live in. He then finds that he understands her, and he will use that understanding to drag her back into the light, just as his other half did with himself.

Golden Cheese + Her children

★ Golden Cheese adores her first son dearly. Her children are her dearest treasures through it all! Goldie is a very involved mother within her child's life. Always checking in, always making sure Pepperjack has enough of everything. She even offered to train him in his combat, seeing as he uses a spear too! She teaches him to hold his head up high, never let the world make you kneel, instead make the world kneel to you. However, she can't help but sense the slight itch of doubt he has. He can't act as tall as he does around her, for she will see it. Golden Cheese makes it her goal to make him fully believe that he is capable of taking on her throne. Leading his people as he should, but sometimes, they can and will argue about it. Pepperjack is too careful. He needs to be bolder. Being too safe will only get so far. He needs to find a balance between the two as she has. Because they're both such large personalities, there's bound to be clashes in between and some distance. In the end, they resolve it through Spice having to convince her to try again with him. After all, that's what she did with Spice. Why not lend a hand to their son?

★ Her and Saffron have a good bond. Not nearly as close as she is with Pepperjack, as Saffron is most definitely more attached to Spice. That does not change that they have a loving relationship, however. She finds his determination to be admirable and his spirit? Just as bright as hers, maybe even more! She's proud of him in a way. However, with his stubborn mindset, destructive tendencies- even if they are unintentional - she is a little worried about his future. However, Golden Cheese will let time work its magic, as it has with her and everything else, and let the lessons he's learned change him for the better. She knows that with enough pushing, she'll get him on the right track. It's just a matter of getting him to listen... Quite honestly, Golden Cheese herself is still new to this whole parenting thing in the end and is trying to learn and figure out this new chapter of her life. As perfect as she tries to be, parenting can be challenging.

★ Kofta is her little mini me, her darling little princess that she spoils to no end. She'll dress her up in the finest of clothing, gift her everything she seems to ask for. Of course, there's a limit, Golden Cheese needs to set boundaries somehow. Kofta is a mommy's girl through and through. They go shopping for things together, they do spa days together - everything! There are points of tension between the two, just your average bickering between child and parent; you know, letting the girl take her own steps, let her be more independent. And sure, Golden Cheese understands that her children will leave the nest one day, but she can't help but want them to stay, at least Kofta to. Pepperjack was independent enough and matured faster than she expected. So it has just been her and Kofta for a while because Saffron will mature as well. Kofta, of course, understands her mothers longing for her children, but does remind her that she will have their father too. Eventually, Golden Cheese will let her go, maybe after arugement or two. Only to find that they will still be her babies, no matter how much they grow. Her precious little jewels through and through.

Burning Spice + his children

★ Spice was even more surprised and even more unprepared to be a father than Shadow Milk was. He was already a little uneasy around children, fearing that he'd unintentionally hurt such fragile things. When Pepperjack was first born, he was oh SO careful holding him, feeding him and what not. He was terrified of ever hurting something he finally created. Eventually, the scare goes away, and he adjusts to have little Pepperjack around. He often teaches him the history of the world around him, how the cycle of change begins and ends, how he has a very large responsibility on his back of upholding it when he's old enough. He tries his best to guide Pepperjack in the way Burning Spice thinks he should have gone before corruption. Teaching him that destruction is necessary for new roots to grow in place. But still, there is that overlooking fear he has that he will fail his children, and in turn, his wife too. Pepperjack and him don't argue a lot about much, but when they do, it does get messy. He kind of has to knock sense into him to try and reconnect with his mother during points of distance, but it's just for his sake in the end. Very much huge papa bear vibes from him <3

★ Spice and Golden Saffron are tight-knit. He teaches the boy how to fight and use an axe or other close ranged weapons! He worries the most about his future, though. Because he recognizes his thinking process, he recognizes that little part of himself in him. So he will sit him down, warn him and tell him that all that he had worked for, all that he has done to better himself would have been for nothing if Golden Saffron looses himself to destruction. He is a storyteller at heart and takes Saffron through the historic ruins of his temples and what not to bond with him. For the most part, growing up, they had a good relationship. Spice would help Saffron with those powers of his.. But the older Saffron got, the more pressure was applied on him, and that seemed to sort of cause a little rift in the relationship they have. Small arugements over outbursts turned into larger disagreements. Finally, everything comes out, and they resolve it through an intense spar. This time, Golden Cheese is the one to smack them both into sense to get along. They eventually reconnect and find peace.

★ Kofta is his pride and joy.. No, literally, he is doting on her from day one. From allowing her to dress him up in pink, huge bows, and telling her exaggerated stories about him and her mother.. Those are some of the better memories they have together. Just enjoying each other's company, Kofta looks up to her father. She thinks he's strong, one of the strongest people she will ever have the pleasure of meeting. That doesn't really change the older she gets. Sure, they turn their hangouts into more mature things-- like sparring or running errands together. However, they do tend to argue over Koftas own ever expanding ego and how she might need to tone it down a little. Other than that, it's a loving relationship between them, probably the one child Spice fights with the least, much to Golden Cheeses pleasure. Overall, she trusts him and looks to him for help, too. She enjoys messing with him as well, as much as she loves him. I mean, sure that gets her chased around, but it's all in good, loving nature between her and her papa <33

White Lily + Her child (and reaction to her untimely death)

★ Nodding Lily was White Lily's little miracle, her blessing from above. She adores her baby girl and finds their similarities in physical appearance, in almost everything so fascinating. She's always wanted to be a mother, wanting to know how it felt like to raise a cookie from the start. So she tries her best to be mentally prepared for her, to be there when she needs it. She absolutely encourages her creativity, and Nodding Lily finds her mothers support to be her stone when creating. They don't argue at all. Rather, they will sit and talk it out because they aren't the type to aruge. Whatever issues they have, Lily and her can resolve through peaceful conversation.. To a degree. White Lily isn't a perfect mom, but she sure is trying her hardest.. As for how she takes Nodding Lily's death? Oh, she's grieving, mourning her every hour of the day. There's a sort of bitterness that grows within her towards the others. How come their child wasn't subjected to Nodding Lily's own self-sacrificing power.. Was it her? Was it her fault that she let her child be pushed to the edge? She only now has her partner and can be seen holding onto them tighter ever since their child died. She had her whole life ahead of her, and now this? Was this how it felt like to loose too..? Maybe she understands the bitterness that Golden Cheese holds against her better now that she's experienced loss of her own. White Lily will leave her flowers every time, hoping that her baby, from wherever she's watching, will understand that she's still looking out for her.

Silent Salt + their child (and their reaction to her untimely death)

★Silent Salt.. How should I put it? Was it somewhat prepared? I mean, they understood this is what White Lily wanted the most, and who are they to deny her of anything? Come to find, they absolutely adore her too. She teaches them how to be more open-minded, stop oppresing certain parts about themselves, and teaches them how to be creative. In return, they teach her how to fight, use her powers, and try to guide her through a path of unity and solidarity instead of the crushing path of oppression. Often, they would be found walking together, painting or doing other things. They have this special spot near the old silver tree, where her and them have planted three lilies. One large purple one, the other a medium-sized white lily, and the last a small magenta Nodding Lily in the middle. Its a reminder that the three of them are a family forever. With the lessons she has taught them, they instill in her that her biggest source of support are the people that she holds close to her heart, and she reminds her to always look to them for everything, including themselves. They, too, don't argue, but they take concern to her, wearing herself out by being too much of a giver to everyone else. Remind her that she still is someone and a daughter to them besides being everyone's doormat. But.. to their utter, utter dismay, they still lost her. Failed her. Let her die, especially when it was in front of them and Lily. They couldn't save her from it, from the slow and painful wilting she took to her demise. They couldn't stop it. Her death was traumatic to her parents. Silent Salt had a hard time coping. They didn't know what to do or how to even come to terms with it. They just held onto White Lily even tighter, trying to keep her close, as close as they could so that they didn't lose her too. They sit in silence at her grave, at that special place they had together. Their silence speaks volumes, though. The wind howls, and it seems to convey the agony they feel. They light candles in her honor and even lay their helmet beside her grave as a reminder that she isn't alone.. even in the afterlife. They will carry her legacy within them, but that doesn't change the fact that she is gone.

Dark Cacao + his daughter

★ Choco Oat and him have such a complex relationship. He sees a lot of him within her, but also not. He understands the need she has to keep her kingdom and her people safe, but wants her to understand so desperately that she needs to stop and take it easy sometimes. But she is stubborn and unreltning, and he is too. That causes frustration that boils down into a huge argument. They also tend to bicker about smaller thing.. Choco Oat never really found it in herself to truly forgive her father for what he's done to Dark Choco. There's that, too. But she knows that he's trying. There are sweet moments between them where she'll climb onto his back as he sits.. filling out documents and whatnot. He'll braid her hair for her or style it when she can. They are still loving, and she has a somewhat better childhood than Choco had. Because he has learned from his past mistakes. He's as patient as he can be with her in the end, but sometimes it gets frustrating to talk to such a perfectionist. He does not understand why she must overthink every minute detail until he steps back and realizes he, too, in a way, was like that. But he cannot voice his sympathy for her without her retalating.. Insiting that she was fine and could handle it on her own. When her powers first came in, he was terrified that she would misuse them and end up like Dark Choco. So, he would encourage her to put its use to a minimum and try her best to repress it. Choco Oat somewhat understands, but doesn't as well.. Part of her wants to be free to use it, and feels slight bitterness about her father's response to it, the other part of her undersands that her and Dark Cacao share a common goal of wanting to protect the kingdom.. And that includes protecting them from her own power, too. But Mystic Flour takes notice of this, and rest assured she and Dark Choco will not tolerate this distance between them. After a long and angsty argument, they finally are honest and open-minded with each other, embracing one another as father and daughter do.. and with the help of Mystic Flour and his son, they build a better bond and learn to be there for each other when it was needed.

Mystic Flour + her daughter.

★ Choco oat and her are closer than she is with Cacao. Mystic Flour understands her baby girl and was actually the most prepared one to have a child as Cloud Haetae is not far from one. Though she has her own fears, she knows that under the right guidance, Choco Oat will turn out just fine. They spend some quality time together, weaving shrouds, tapestrys that tell stories. She often weaves silken robes for her daughter, and most of the clothes Choco Oat wears is from her mother. Because Mystic Flour seems to be the only one who understands her sense of style and comfort at the same time. Mystic Flour and her often pray and meditate together, too. She teaches her how to be a good tender to the pagoda and introduces her to Go and whatnot. As for points of tension, mainly it is Choco Oats' ever lasting perusit perfection for herself. Mystic Flour thinks it is.. well, outlandish at times, but she is not one to outright harshly judge her daughter. She will sit her down and talk to her sternly instead about reconnecting with her father and taking a break once in a while. It's only really up to her if she wants to listen now or later, but Mystic will take a page out of her husbands book and will be patient and unreltning with her. As for how she handles Choco Oats powers, unlike Dark Cacao, she tries and encourages her to use them freely in a safe area. Be in tune with them, channel them so that she too can use it for the greater good. Though Cacao is not fond of the idea at first, Mystic convinces him later on after that argument, and soon enough, Choco Oat will learn how to accept even the ugliest parts of herself. For chosing to be ignorant will only lead her down a path of Apathy.

Hollyberry + her twin children

★ Candied Berry and her? Absolute partners in the more daring activities! Hah, there would even be periods where her and Holly would run off together for a bit, go on a hunting trip for a week or two, and come back with spoils to share! Needless to say, they are very close. Hollyberry has finally found an equal with her for her passion, her bravery, her hope is so inspiring. Ever since Candied was a little girl, she would get herself into dangerous situations most of the time, and yes, that would concern Hollyberry. There are points where Holly thinks she's a little too bold, and that cause tension between them, they either spar it out or have a messy talk about it.. Candied Berry also tends to sort of nag her on taking so much Berry juice in daily.. She loves her mama, but too much is too much sometimes, and Candied wants her to know that! Of course, Holly stops when her children ask her. She's not the type to prioritize her juice over her kids, of course. Eventually, through her help, Holly will cut back on that addiction of hers.. But it's going to take a while between the both of them to help each other improve and be better. Hollyberry is willing to be there for her every step of the way, and she can only hope that Candied finds bravery within herself to face her own inner challenges just as she has faced her own long ago.

★ Sugared Berry reminds her of Royalberry in a sense. She finds his calmness to be equally grounding as her wife's own and finds that he and Eternal Sugar are voices of reasons to her and Candied. However, Sugared Berry is more insistent that his mother should take on healthier eating habits, take better care of herself, and what not. He often feels concern for her, and Hollyberry appreciates that. She too also finds that his burn out days can be rough on him too, and reminds him as well that he is still a cookie as well and needs his own rest periods. They don't find much to argue about, except for days where they just can not understand each other eye to eye.. However, Hollyberry is a good listener and will listen to her sons cries and calls, whatever their current state of tensions are. Also, it is worth noting that Hollyberry is one of Sugared Berry's biggest supporters musical career wise, she's always there clapping the loudest during his performances, and will encourage him to be passionate about it too! No matter how discouraged he may get. She will always be there to remind him to keep moving on and to stay passionate for the things he loves. Because she has been a mother before, and having new children doesn't mean she loses the lessons she learned with her first child.

Eternal Sugar + her twin children

★ One of the ones who are less prepared for kids.. Twins at that. She wasn't expecting two kids, but she would love them both deatly anyway. Candied Berry is much like her wife in a lot of aspects, passionate, brave, bold, and daring. For that, Eternal Sugar feels sort of endearment towards her. But she doesn't know where to start with teaching them anything, what to say - how to lead them to a life of happiness. She often looks to her wife for advice and tries her best to channel it, too. However, for Candied, she finds it harder to connect with her because of her nature being so different from Eternal Sugar's own. She still loves her, don't get me wrong, but there's a clear distance between her and Sugar sometimes that they're trying desperately to overcome, but it seems near impossible at times. Eternal Sugar can't quite wrap her head around the activities that Candied deems fun and was worried out of her mind when younger Candied got herself into situations where... It was near life-threatening. The scoldings she gave were a little firm and assertive, but she only wanted to protect her baby. However, now that that rambunctious child has grown into an even more off the walls teenager, she just sighs and shakes her head... Whatever is Eternal Sugar going to do with her?

★ Sugared Berry and her are extremely close, though. She finds his love for the harp, the lyre, instruments in general to be a lot like her passion for them too! She teaches him how to play the lyre and even the harp, and he has her to thank for his great skills. They definitely sit down and relax together when the day calls for it, and she even gives him little bracelets and necklaces she happens to have found from her old status as a virtue. However, they do aruge a little about his tendency to just give up. She can not allow him to go down the same path of sloth as she once did, and he does not understand what is so bad about slacking off from time to time. It's not as major as most of the other kids' issues.. but it does worry Eternal Sugar a lot, especially because she has never been a parent before and does not know what to expect of this. Do not fret, Hollyberry will help her, ease her worries, and allow her to find a way to communicate her concerns to her children in another way besides incessant nagging. Other than that, Eternal is a caring mother and is good at soothing and comforting her children to a degree at the very end.. Even if she isn't the most educated on the topic of parenting.

[authoratmidnight]

So I was looking through the OptiRatch tag, as you do, when I saw @energon-depo's post about 'Smokescreen is an OptiRatch kid'

And unfortunately it takes very little to get my brain worms going and that one did and I kinda wanna write this. Or at least, a re-imagining of episode 18 where that's the case.

Like. Sometime waaaaaay before canon, before the war, Orion and Ratchet had a little sparkling (Smokescreen). But then (perhaps near the beginning of the war? just after he became a Prime?) he went missing/was kidnapped. He was just gone (I'm sort of thinking maybe Ratchet and Smokescreen were caught in an attack and separated and when the smoke and dust settled he looked everywhere for the little one to no avail).

Eventually they had to conclude he'd died in the attack, because what else can they do? So they grieve and mourn (esp grieving the fact that, now with everything going on, they'll probably never have another one-not only is it far to dangerous to bring a life like that into the world, but if anyone were to find out that Optimus had family like that, it would be painting a target on their backs. he already has to keep his relationship w/ Ratchet on the down low now, a child would be far to risky).

Then we fast forward ahead however many tens of thousands-millions of years have passed and it's the present day on Earth. Team Prime is investigating that escape pod, gets jumped by the 'Cons and then BAM. Smokescreen appears.

And to Ratchet and Optimus, the moment they see his face, it's like they've just seen a ghost. Because he may be grown up now, but that face, those colours/markings, those features, it's the same, it's their sparkling. Of course they mask this well enough under a guise of just. Surprise at seeing another young Autobot. Meanwhile they're looking at each other like 'you're seeing this right??'

So they bring him back to base and ofc ask him about himself, how her got there, his name (b/c it can't possibly be him. it just can't). He gives the spiel we know. But also further prodding on Ratchet's part (while giving him a physical to make sure he's in good condition, don't need another wounded warrior on their hands) reveals that (as far as he knows) any family he had died in the war. His memories as a sparkling are hazy at best, he doesn't remember his parents.

He grew up alone and basically went from alone to the Elite Guard, to his station w/ Alpha Trion and then on Earth.

Meanwhile, Ratchet and Optimus are just 'oh sweet Solus Prime it IS him' esp when a test that Ratchet ran while doing his physical confirms relations.

So on one hand, they're ecstatic that their missing sparkling is alive and well. On the other, do they tell him??? They want to, Primus knows they want to, but at the same time it would be so dangerous, cause it would and could get back to the Cons and that would be painting the biggest ever 'take me hostage' sign on him. So maybe not yet but, perhaps one day.

Smokescreen is woefully oblivious to any favouritism going his way (getting to call Ratchet 'doc' w/o issue, being allowed to just. use the Phase Shifter whenever. god they try not to show favouritism but they slip up sometimes)

And then the s2 ending/s3 staring events happen and Ratchet is just gripped with grief at the thought he's lost not just his partner, but his child for the second time in his life. He is beyond relieved when they turn up alive.

Smokescreen isn't quite sure why Ratchet hugs him so tightly once they're reunited. Like, he's glad to see him too but uh, Ratchet you ok? He's also a bit surprised that Optimus isn't mad at him for disobeying orders (going back to save him when the base blew up, using the forge on him to save him), but he's not gonna complain cause it did work out.

Now Ratchet really wants to tell Smokescreen. After all that he deserves to know. Optimus still isn't sure (even though he does want to as well).

Maybe one day, when the war is over, when it's safer.

Also. Alpha Trion 100% knew who Smokescreen was (b/c he knows like everything) and orchestrated getting him guard duty there, with him, to keep an eye on Smokescreen/keep him safe. He also told him stories about Optimus Prime as a way for him to know about his dad (Smokescreen always had a fascination about him that Alpha Trion was happy to feed). He also orchestrated getting Smokescreen to Earth so he'd one day meet Optimus again.

[morgana-larkin]

So I got some inspiration from the latest episode of Abbott Elementary and wrote ‘Mine’ part 11! There is Sweet Cheeks in this as I couldn’t resist as Mel being all motherly over him was probably the cutest thing ever! Also this fic has led to Google “how do Guinea Pigs mate?” , something I thought I would never Google and yet I have, lol. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

Mine - Part 11

Warnings: None

Words: 3.1k

“Mamma!” Amelia yells and that wakes Melissa up. She opens her eyes and sees you there and all her 3 kids were on the bed. “Happy Birthday Mamma!” Amelia exclaims and jumps into Melissa’s arms and Melissa catches her daughter.

“Well isn’t this a wonderful birthday surprise.” Melissa says and gives Amelia a big kiss on her cheek and Amelia giggles.

“We all made you a card.” You tell her and hand her a piece of paper.

“It’s all of our handprints. I even made Mommy do it.” Amelia tells Melissa.

“This is the best card I’ve ever seen, thank you everyone.” Melissa says.

“Mamma.” Nico says and Melissa looks at him.

“Aw, my beautiful boy.” She says and picks Nico up and gives him a kiss.

“Mamma! Guess what?” Amelia says and Melissa looks at her.

“What?”

“Sweet Cheeks and his girlfriend had the babies!” Amelia tells her and Melissa’s eyes widen before she gives Nico to you, picks Amelia up and runs downstairs to the Cheeks family cage.

“Oh my god, they’re so tiny.” Melissa squeals as she sees the little baby guinea pigs.

“Sweet Cheeks is a father.” You say as you come downstairs carrying the twins.

“I always knew he could be.” Melissa says and puts Amelia down before she opens the cage. “Hey Sweet Cheeks and Miss Sweet Cheeks, can I see one of your babies?” She asks them and one of the babies crawls on her hand. You watch as Melissa shows Amelia the baby with a huge smile on her face. “You have to be careful when petting the babies, Amelia. Just use one finger and be gentle.” Melissa instructs her daughter.

When you both found out that Miss Sweet Cheeks was pregnant around the end of May, you brought both of them to your home so they could take care of each other. You both held off on getting a puppy so you can take care of the Cheeks family instead. Melissa then went crazy and bought a huge ass cage and a bunch of toys for them and the babies. Her and Amelia spent the whole afternoon decorating the cage and researching how to take care of the babies.

“And done.” You say as you finish putting Amelia’s hair in pigtails. “You look so beautiful, sweetie.” You tell her and then you hear Melissa downstairs.

“Sweet Cheeks! Don’t bite me, I’m just trying to say hi to your kids!” You hear and you snort.

“Melissa, we’re ready to go.” You tell her as you and Amelia go downstairs.

“Do we have to? I mean I don’t need a whole day of reminders that I’m 60. My muscles already do that everyday.” She says as she stands up.

“Come on, we’re going.” You tell her as you pick up Caty and she picks up Nico.

“But-” She tries to protest.

“We’re going.” You say to her sternly and Amelia holds Melissa’s hand.

“Come on Mamma, it gonna be fun!” Amelia exclaims.

“Your daughter is saying we should go.” You say and Melissa pouts and sighs.

“My little weaknesses.” Melissa mutters as she lets Amelia pull her to the car.

You pull up to Marie’s place 20 minutes later as she has the biggest backyard. You let Amelia out before you unbuckle Caty and Melissa unbuckles Nico. You then walk up to the door and the door opens before you even knock.

“Hey sis.” Kristen Marie says. “My, having a family really makes you look your age.” She jokes and Melissa rolls her eyes.

“Good to see ya too, sis.” Melissa says and you all step inside before making your way to the backyard. You all step outside and Melissa’s eyes widen as she sees the amount of people here. “How many people did you invite?” She asks you.

“Just your entire family and mine, I think over 100 people. But some couldn’t make it.” You tell her and she sees about 40 kids running around and people conversing with each other.

“Mamma, can I go play with the kids?” Amelia asks her and Melissa sees the other kids and holds onto Amelia tighter.

“There’s some toddlers and babies over there.” Kristen Marie says and Melissa looks over to the small group of toddlers that look around the same age as her kids.

“That’s perfect.” Melissa says and you both bring your kids over there.

“Hey honey.” Melissa hears and turns around to see her mother there.

“Ma!” Melissa exclaims and goes to hug her.

“Happy Birthday.” Teresa tells her daughter. “Good to see you again, Y/n.” She tells you and she goes to hug you.

“Hi Teresa. I’m glad you were able to make it.” You tell her as you pull back.

“Oh I wouldn’t miss my daughter’s 60th birthday party.” She tells you and you hear Melissa groan.

“Melissa, there’s banners and balloons that say your age. Are you gonna groan everytime you’re reminded of your age?” You ask her and she nods her head.

“Grandma!” You all hear and then Amelia runs to Teresa.

“Well hello Amelia!” Teresa says and you see Melissa go and talk to people.

An hour later you see Melissa playing with some of her nieces and nephews and you go and grab the microphone that her siblings set up.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” You say and everyone stops talking and looks at you. “Hi, for those who don’t know me or don’t remember, I’m Y/n Schemmenti, Melissa’s wife.” You introduce yourself to everyone and you see Melissa step forward to the front. “Now I’m sure everyone is aware of the celebration today, Melissa’s 60th birthday!” You say with a huge smile and everyone starts clapping as Melissa puts her head in her hands. “Now, I’ve asked her siblings to write down a loving speech about Melissa and then after the dj will start playing music and we can dance.” You tell everyone and Melissa shakes her head as Kristen Marie gets on stage first and you go to Melissa’s side.

“Hello everyone, I’m Kristen Marie, the second oldest child. Now Y/n said a loving speech, so I’m gonna tell a few embarrassing stories about Melissa, delivered with a lot of love.” Kristen Marie says and you widen your eyes as Melissa is not surprised at all by her sister’s antics. “Actually I think we all have embarrassing memories with Melissa that we’re all going to share, just to prepare you, sis.” Kristen Marie tells Melissa. “Now, my favourite memory of Melissa is when she was 10 and me, her and our brother John Anthony were trying to make breakfast for Ma as it was her birthday. Melissa had to go on a stool to grab the big bag of flour and she dropped it and it spilled all over her and she looked like a drug addict.” Kristen Marie says and you hear Melissa laugh.

Melissa has her arm around your waist through all the speeches and only lets go when the dj starts playing music.

“Are you having fun?” You ask her as you start dancing with her.

“I’m having a blast, thank you, hon.” She tells you and you give her a quick kiss before she gets you to twirl.

The second song to come on is the Macarena that all the adults start doing as no one can resist. At some point, you’re in front of Melissa and you wiggle your butt during the ‘hey Macarena’ and Melissa laughs at your antics.

“You’re such a goof.” She says with a big smile and you wink at her.

“Alright everybody, I just got told about a certain couple’s wedding song.” The DJ announces and then ‘I love you always forever’ starts playing and Melissa gasps as it was your wedding song.

“May I have this dance, signora?” She asks you and you happily take her hand before you both start to dance to the song. She then pulls you right up against her as the chorus starts and she starts singing it. “I love you always forever, near or far, closer together. Everywhere I will be with you, everything I will do for you.” She sings and then she gets you to do a twirl.

After an hour of dancing, Melissa has you wrapped in her arms as you sit on her lap.

“Mommy!” You hear and look to see Amelia running up to you both. “I was told to come get Mommy.” Amelia explains and Melissa lets you go and you follow Amelia to the kitchen.

5 minutes later the music stops and then Melissa hears people start singing happy birthday. She sees you come into view holding one of the cakes and Kristen Marie holding the other.

“Happy Birthday dear Melissa, happy birthday to you!” Everyone sings as you place the cake in front of Melissa. Melissa blows out all the candles and then you and her siblings get to work on cutting the cakes and passing a piece out to everyone who wants one. Melissa takes a few bites and then looks at her siblings.

“Which one of you Papera’s made the cake?” She asks them all.

“Your mother.” You tell her.

“Oh, no wonder it’s actually good.” She says and then continues enjoying the cake.

“Ok and this gift is from John and Kristen Marie.” She says as she’s opening all her presents. She opens the envelope and a stack of scratchers were in there. “Ah sweet!” Melissa exclaims with a huge smile.

“And you’ll be able to do those later.” You say as you take them away from her and she pouts. “You have more presents to open.” You add.

“Mamma, I made this for you.” Amelia says after Melissa opens all her other presents and cards. Amelia gives Melissa a painting she drew a week ago and Melissa looks at it, trying to figure out what it is.

“It’s a flower.” You whisper in her ear and she smiles.

“What a beautiful flower, Tesoro.” Melissa tells her and Amelia smiles. “Thank you.” She mouths to you and you smile and nod.

You all then hear a loud pop sound and everyone looks at where it came from.

“My bad!” One of the kids says and is holding the pieces of what used to be a balloon.

“Alright, let’s get back to dancing!” You announce and the DJ starts playing music again.

Melissa is sitting down a few minutes later with a plate of food and sees you dancing with one of her nieces. She then looks over at her kids and sees the twins playing with another baby, while it seems the toddlers started a game of duck duck goose. She sees Amelia gets tagged as the goose and starts chasing after the other toddler.

“Hey Melissa!” She hears and looks over to see the Abbott crew walking up to her. “We haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you yet.” Janine explains.

“There’s so many people here.” Jacob says.

“Ya, too many people.” Gregory says and Melissa chuckles.

“You can thank my wife for that.” She tells them.

“So how are you doing?” Barb asks her.

“Good, Y/n is trying to keep me busy though so I don’t have a lot of chances to think about the fact that I’m 60.” Melissa tells them. “Oh Sweet Cheeks and his girlfriend had 4 babies this morning.” She says and Janine’s jaw drops.

“No way! Can I come over and see them?” Janine asks her.

“Maybe when they're bigger, they’re really fragile and Sweet Cheeks bit me when I tried to grab one.” She explains and Janine nods.

“Auntie Mel! Come dance!” One of her nieces says as she comes up to Melissa and pulls her up.

“Calm down, Laura, I’m coming!” Melissa tells her niece. Melissa gets to the dance floor and the song ‘Bitch’ from Meredith Brooks starts playing and she can’t help but sing the chorus very loudly. “I’m a little bit of everything, all rolled into one!” She sings and you come over to dance with her. “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover. I’m a child, I’m a mother. I’m a sinner, I’m a saint. I do not feel ashamed! I’m your Hell, I’m your dream, I’m nothing in between.” She sings as she dances with you.

“Woah! Sing it loud cuz!” Annette says as she’s dancing close by.

Half an hour later you see Melissa go near the DJ and she’s handed the mic and the music turns off.

“Hey everyone!” Melissa says and you’re wondering what she’s going to say. “First of all I would like to thank you all for being here and coming to celebrate my 60th birthday. Oh wow, it feels weird saying that number. Anyway, I would also like to thank my lovely wife, Y/n and my siblings for putting all this together.” She says and everyone starts clapping. “I just want to say that I would like to thank Y/n for giving me a family. I have a beautiful wife, 3 adorable children and my Guinea pig just had 4 babies so I have family pets now too. I didn’t think I would have everything I dreamed of after I divorced Joe, but I’m happy about my life now. So thank you again and let’s get back to dancing!” She says and gives the mic back as the music starts again.

“You’re sweet.” You tell her as she comes to stand next to you and she hums. You then lean towards her, right at her ear. “I have another present for you.” You whisper before you pull back and wink at her.

“Oh ya?” She asks and you nod before you pull your shirt back slightly and show her the purple lingerie that you have on. “You’re making me want to leave my birthday party early.” She tells you and you hum.

“Well the twins and Amelia will be getting tired soon.” You tell her and she smiles before she continues dancing with you.

20 minutes later you’re watching as Melissa and Amelia are dancing together while you have a couple snacks and a dance break. Melissa picks Amelia up and holds her up in the air and starts spinning in a circle.

“Wee!!!” Amelia exclaims and giggles. “Again Mamma, again!” Amelia tells Melissa.

“Oh I can’t Tesoro or I’ll get dizzy.” Melissa tells her as she puts her daughter down. She then gets Amelia to spin around and Amelia is giggling as she’s dancing with her mother.

“Hey Y/n.” One of Melissa’s cousins comes up to you and you look at her.

“Ya?”

“Caty is crying and we think it’s because she’s tired.” She tells you and you immediately get up and go over to the twins.

“Oh, come here, sweetie.” You tell Caty as you pick her up.

Melissa ends up looking up and sees you’re not where you were a couple minutes ago. She looks around and sees you holding Caty and trying to calm her down as she’s crying.

“Come on, Tesoro, let’s go check on your siblings.” Melissa says as she grabs Amelia’s hand and heads over to where you and the twins are.

“Mommy, is Cat ok?” Amelia asks once they reach you.

“She’s a bit tired, sweetheart.” You tell her as you soothe Caty and she falls asleep on your chest.

“She looks very comfortable right now.” Melissa says as she goes over and looks at her daughter sleeping on you. “Although I don’t blame her, your chest is very comfortable to sleep on.” Melissa says softly and you chuckle at her comment. You then watch as Amelia helps Nico stand up and then starts dancing with him. “Aw, my perfect little family.” Melissa says as she hugs you from behind.

“We should get going, seeing as one of our kids fell asleep on me.” You tell her and she nods as she checks the time on her phone.

“It is 6 o'clock and we did cut their nap short.” She says and you nod.

You then both say your goodbyes to everyone before you leave.

Once you get home you put the twins on the floor so they can start playing with their toys and Amelia chooses to join them. You both sit on the couch watching them and cuddling each other. All of a sudden Caty starts crying while Nico is banging on the piano toy.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” You ask her as you pick her up and sit her on your lap. She continues crying and you’re trying to soothe her but you can barely hear yourself as Nico is playing that piano toy loudly. “Can you get Nico another toy to play with please?” You ask Melissa and she gets up and takes the piano away. As soon as Melissa takes the piano, Caty stops crying. “Aw, do you have sensitive ears?” You ask Caty and you see Melissa hand Nico a book with different textures. Melissa comes over to sit down next to you again and you hand her Caty.

“Hello my little dolcezza.” She says to Caty and you love all the nicknames she calls them. “I’m your mamma.” She tells Caty and Caty just stares at her.

“Doggy.” You both hear Nico say as he feels the texture of a dog.

You put the twins to bed just before 9 while Melissa goes and reads Amelia a nighttime story. You hear Melissa come into the bedroom while you’re brushing your hair and you turn to see her walking over to you.

“Have you noticed that Nico seems to be more vocal than Caty?” She asks you and you look at her.

“I have but she could just be a little late. If she’s still not saying by 2 then we can look into it.” You tell her and she nods.

“Now, I believe I was promised a birthday gift.” She says as she wraps her arms around your waist and trails up your stomach to your boobs. She noticed you still have a bra on so she turns you around and lifts your shirt to reveal the lingerie from earlier. This time she’s able to see it and sees a little bow in the middle. “Hm, my favourite gift to unwrap.” She says before bringing you to the bed.

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[qoldenskies]

Thinking about Mind Meld and how Donnie was so confused about being burned by Raph

“Yes! Sick burn, Raph! Wait… you burned me. What’s going on here?”

Just like- being made fun of by Leo? Just another day? By Mikey? Unusual but also classic annoying younger brother behavior. But by his Raphie? Unheard of

If he couldn’t even comprehend Raph making fun of him how could he ever even imagine his big brother outright ignoring his begging and sobbing or hitting the door while yelling at him to shut up. How could he anticipate him chasing him down with the intent to kill

It’s unfathomable, unthinkable, and it happened

CC BRAINS AND BRAWN MY BELOVED AHHHHHHHHH

NGLLLL mind meld is one of my least favorite rise episodes, i really just do not vibe with it, but i do think its a very important one for donnie's character and also its probably the best canonical evidence for everything in caged lungs making sense. like even when he KNEW their minds were altered (by his doing no less lmao) he still reacted with so much dejection like a kicked puppy. i dont go to rewatch it a lot because i dont like it but CL incidentally ended up taking a lot of elements from it i suppose ,,,,, its like kid-friendly CL lmfaooo

anyways cc brains and brawn makes me absolutely deranged like chewing on drywall deranged because of how unexpected everything is for both of them. how both of them see their relationship torn apart by something they were both utterly helpless to, and every moment in cw they spend apart they yearn for each other. its more noticeable in raph's side (chapter 7 especially) because donnie has to intentionally shut out his thoughts of raph because he's a walking trigger, but its pretty apparent in his behavior just how much he always, always wanted raph there.

like they just missed each other so much :(

(ugghh something about this being the first time that donnie in his right mind calls for raphie, and this time raph gets to tell him what he always dreamed of wanting to under the curse-- dreamed about doing in retrospect. he wonders a lot if he could have, had he just had more strength. something about how in CL when he shut him down and hurt him he saw doing this as being strong enough to, and now that the curse is broken he thinks the fact that he hurt him was horribly weak, that he should have fought.)

and for both of them i think its made worse knowing there's something a little self-destructive about it. how raph yearns to be the kind of pseudo father figure he was for donnie before, even though being that kind of person for his brothers was exhausting and stressful and he was actively crumbling under that pressure-- while donnie wants to be useful to raph, he wants to work ceaselessly so raph can be proud of him, even though that was the exact kind of thing that nearly killed him-- the fact that even when raph despised him, was willing to kill him, donnie was willing to grovel anyway because he felt that somehow he could do something to make him proud, to be worth it to him.

both of them have a tendency to look down upon their past, pre-CL selves for being "ignorant", but i also think that they see it as this kind of idyllic, unblemished time of their lives where there wasn't any fear or caution or tension, and they could play these parts without having to worry about anything like this. which isnt true, they argued all the time and their roles were actively harmful to them, but what they have now is painful that they cant help but idealize that more than a little.

it huuurts that even healed there's this unbearable tension to their relationship because its so hard to have fun one on one now :( its just really hard for both of them to try and break that barrier, especially because they're so cautious around each other. they usually need mikey and leo to facilitate. maybe one day they'll just get to fuck around and be dumb together again </3 they deserve it

[maybequinnidk]

2x12

this is a long one

four-year-old lena 🤏🤏

melissa's hair and outfit appreciation counter: all of it, all the numbers

"of course i knew, im psychic"best thing they could have him say

dimples,

at least daxamites aren't homophobic ig

kara defending lena counter: +1

can you believe the original plan was to have her in just 3 episodes? yeah, me neither

"who called you a bitch? and in which context exactly? i just wanna have a talk" kara probably

supercorp couch talk counter: ❤️💙

you know whati was gonna say something about them moving too fast again (already asking for advice, "i'm here as a friend", and all that), but i just remembered that flashback episode in s5, where they have brunch for the first time. so i will just refrain and take what they give us from now on

"would you find peace of mind visiting her?" kara should have stopped her questions there, but i understand that's not her character. she values her family a lot even if they weren't perfect, but it doesn't mean lena should be the same.

"she's still your mom." instead of trying to push this "forgive your family despite everything" narrative on lena, they could have used this as a chance to have a different perspective on this family and forgiveness theme

lena is so done with her

"tell me the truth about what?" if they had known she would become one of the most important characters in the show, this could have been the moment for them to hint at her having magic. would only solve one of the issues i have with that plot (the suddenness), and would maybe help with her wanting to mix magic and science. (i still prefer science being her metaphorical superpower over lena having actual powers)

that's a really long affair

Katie's acting

"we're the only luthors left" you don't understand how much i wish that was true

"earth is in crisis" counter: so many one could say infinite, perhaps

that doesn't even make sense, you're still the hostile one

she could have punched her

kara defending lena counter: again

what logic is that? "she called the police on her criminal mother, so she will betray you too" (she will, but that's a different situation entirely) to me it's just james is admitting that if kelly, for example, committed a hate crime he wouldn't do anything to stop or report her

we've all heard of red/blue pairings, and that one blue/blue pairing. what about light pink and black/light pink and black pairing (literally the same shade again)

is that a symbolism to represent her love interest is supposedly unavailable? first james with lucy, now mon-el with eve. was that intentional?

i love eve

i hate lena behind bars, but she looks good even in prison clothes

blue sure is her color

"i'm your friend" 😒😤

they're so complicated and tiring (karamel)

this woman really got her daughter arrested, kidnapped her, and then used her for her own selfish xenophobic reasons, but she said i love you so obviously she's not all bad right: counter

the realistic part is that lena is conflicted, or even convinced for a second there. bc that's how manipulation works. this one specifically is the one where they put you in trouble then take you out of it so you think they helped, when you wouldn't have been in trouble if it wasn't for them to begin with

if winn is that qualified what was he doing at catco?

she can spell words wrong every once in a while, it's her 13th language

is this the start of james not hating lena?

supercorp flirting counter: office full of flower, "that's what friends are for", "you are my hero"

is this a love confession or are they fighting?

the annoying mxy

rewatching and commenting SG because it's leaving netflix soon, s2

season 1 was satisfying overall, not that frustrating

lots of lena

2x01

why another location? whatever, it's fine. i like the old place too, alex

I 100% believe that kara thought the online quiz would be accurate, just like she thought the dating app in 1x01 would be, bc the algorithm cant possibly be wrong right? bc that's how it was on krypton

"kiera danvers"

eve !!!! i love her so much

"MISS TESSMACHER" counter: 1 (lex stole that from ms grant)

the striped one looked better

i just wanted kara to be a space nerd. is that too much to ask??? "yes", the cw responds

thank god cat and lena weren't there

oh look it's him. so inoffensive

super cousins save the day together counter: 1

new and upgraded title card

in s1 j'onn didn't seem to have beef with clark when they mentioned him that one time

her skirt has pockets. i want it

ok so crushing on kryptonians give badass CEOs prosopagnosia, got it

LENAAAAA 🚨🚨🚨 KATIEEEE

"and who are you exactly?" does she not recognize her gf?

a fic where cat and lena are friends and talk about their crushes on clark and kara to each other and the other is like "you do know that their are a super, right?" and the other is like "pfft nah"

"mr. kent" she says as if she doesn't know who he is. as if he wasn't lex's best friend once upon a time. as if they're complete strangers. but after everything they might as well be

kara's unwavering belief in lena counter: ∞

they should stop talking about super stuff in the middle of a croud

another partnership ruined bc of kryptonite

another batman reference. they said gotham this time. improvements

"i was thinking italian, I could fly there" not gonna say it, not gonna say it. there's four seasons to go still

her dress also has pockets?? amazing

"MISS TESSMACHER" counter: 2

im gonna miss her

"who would want lena luthor dead?" j'onn. my man. who doesn't want her dead? have you met her family? they hate her! and the luthor-haters also hate her

kaznia mentioned

you know what? her face does look different with glasses and her hair up

not them casually talking like they didn't just meet today

alex's fight scenes are so good

lena with a gun counter: 1

Kara's brain turning into mush when lena talks to her. mood

cat is already proud of her protege

she's leaving

"miss tessmacher" counter: 1

she really said "something has changed within me, something is not the same. im through with playing by the rules of someone else's game"

winn rambling is cute

cousin banter. cute too

i wish kal-el had been more present in kara's life for her sake. but for my sake, im glad he is not so present in the show

ugh lillian

[simpfornegan]

rhaenyra asking jace: “and when aemond comes hunting for you?” like yesss, this validated me in so many ways ! next time i say omega jace fleeing from his alpha aemond, chugging moontea and on the verge of a mental breakdown, y’all better jump !

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!