#the answer is blowing in the wind || memes.

[tvintedspvrkarc]

tag drop : admin

[daughterofthetis]

cassidy tag dump

[stcrmborne]

Tag dump

[formulafics]

★ DO I WANNA KNOW? | JB22

Scenario: in which a series of unexpected events, starting with being stuck in the same hotel room with a single bed, takes teammates yn ln and jenson button from major rivals to lovers.

Pairing: jenson button x fem!reader

A/N: no one asked for this but LAWD I LOVE JENSON BUTTON. i had to do something about it 😔 shoutout to @renarots for supplying memes and 4 am brain rot that contributed to the making of this fic and most of my other ones too

NOTE: yn and jenson drive for mercedes (i had to do this for my own sanity)

racing_news

liked by buttonnation, sebrrari, and 12,432 others

racing_news jenson button responds to questions about his relationship with teammate yn ln following this weekends rumors.

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formulawrld idec about the rumors jenson looks so fine bro

formulavettel i bet seb knows all the tea about them. sebastian please spill

webbersebberf1 🤨 surely they could have just gotten another room? they have the money for it. idk, me thinks they’re dating and trying to keep it secret

��� ferrarilvr LITERALLY. you genuinely cannot convince me that they aren’t dating after this

⤷ shumione you genuinely thing they’re together even with how much they clearly don’t like each other?

⤷ ferrarilvr 🤷🏻‍♀️ things change and honestly i feel like they’ve had feelings for each other and just didn’t want to admit it

It had been three months since the “hotel incident”. Finally, you texted him. You weren’t sure what to expect from him, but you were ultimately relieved by his response, and didn’t wast a single moment on making your way to him.

With each step you take, a small splash sounds beneath your feet. Rain patters on the ground, and you pull your jacket closed in an attempt to shield yourself from the cold gust of wind that blows through the night. Each stride is powerful and determined - the truth is, you like Jenson. What once was a deep disdain for the man has somehow formed into a blossoming adoration for him. Miscommunications and mistakes lead you down the wrong path with him, but ever since the night of the “hotel incident” — as you, Jenson, and your team call it — you haven’t been able to see him in a bad light.

“Look, i’m sorry,” Jenson says, his expression softer than it had ever been towards you. You were almost offended, thinking he was about to try and make you feel bad, but that wasn’t the case. “You’re more than welcome to go - actually, i’ll pay for your hotel room if you want to leave, but if you’re choosing to stay, i’ll give you your space.” It was unlike him, at least, the him that you knew. He seemed remorseful and genuine, like you and him were anything but rivals. It made your heart beat just a little faster in your chest, and you couldn’t deny how strangely right it felt to be in the same bed with him. Even sharing the room was almost natural.

You turned away from each other to change, but both of you were guilty of peeking over your shoulder. Your eyes lingered for longer than you’d ever admit, but the same went for him. Neither of you could muster the courage to say anything, to address the tension between you both, and despite what should have been an awkward atmosphere, you both found yourselves comfortable in each others presence, even with the weight of your forbidden thoughts.

Not much happened after that, truthfully. Things did change though. Suddenly, his presence didn’t irk you, and you could never get on his nerves. You worked together more willingly, almost volunteered, and through those minor changes, you both came to realize how wrong you’d been about the other. Sure, Jenson had his moments, but he was sweet, a genuine and polite guy. You weren’t entitled the way Jenson thought - in fact, you were humble, kind…and how could he ever not see just how beautiful you are?

He doesn’t know the answer to that, but now, knowing that you’re moments away, he finds himself anxious. In a good way. He’s excited to see you, and he laughs to himself about how ironic that is given how he used to dread seeing you. A knock on his door draws him back to reality, and he knows it’s you. Outside of the hotel room, you wait impatiently, and breathe a sigh of relief when he finally opens the door. Instanly, like an instinct, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, nuzzling into his warmth. His reaction is just as instinctive, and he wraps his arms around you, guiding you into the privacy of his room.

For the first time, you talked. Not yelled, not argued, just spoke to one another. It was a completely different experience for the two of you, one that you never thought would come of your relationship, but it came to you naturally. The warm touch of his hand holding yours, the somehow assuring and slightly intimidating way he looked at you as you spoke, the way he didn’t just listen to you, he heard you. And, you did the same for him. Though he didn’t have much to say, you listened and heard, and soon, you felt as though you’d only just met him, yet known him for years. Not the rival Jenson, but a Jenson you could get used to, one that you didn’t back away from when he leaned in.

It was a small, sealing kiss that he placed on your lips. One to really ensure that all of this was happening, that things were changing between the both of you, and you both accepted it, with a weight lifting off of your shoulders.

mercedesamgf1

liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, and 265,672 others

mercedesamgf1 last time in Abu Dhabi…

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hereforbutton okay but are jenson and yn dating? PLEASE TELL US

formulaobsessed ARE YOUR DRIVERS DATING? YES OR NO?

⤷ mercedesamgf1 🤭

⤷ hereforbutton okay so what the fuck does that mean

formulayn we do NOT care about jenson rn where is my wife

mercamgfan maybe this time don’t prioritize the inferior driver 🙏🏻 yn deserves her wdc

hereforyn i’m so scared that this race is gonna send yn and jenson back into their rival arc

⤷ jensonbuttonlvr NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. i cant handle them going back to rivals now

⤷ ynsgirlie i know. now that we have them being nice, i can’t imagine going back to what they used to be

mercedesamgf1

liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, nicorosberg, and 346,789 others

mercedesamgf1 OUR WORLD CHAMPION ❤️ an exceptional performance from yn today, and a well deserved win. thank you for another amazing year, @/the.ynln

view all 5,678 comments

the.ynln i’m gonna cry 💔 thank you guys so much.

formulayn THATS MY FUCKING WIFE IM SO PROUD OF HER

buttonynamg MY BABIES P1-P2 IN WDC IM SO PROUD RIGHT NOW

formulaobssesed who’s here after the post race interview? 🤭

⤷ markwebba I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA FALL IN LOVE

⤷ jensonsbutton bro jenson was heart eyes for her in the whole interview and the way he kissed her cheek when she started talking about their relationship 💔 he was so gentle

⤷ hereforbutton what got me was her getting emotional about the win and him hugging her like :( i was always hoping they’d start getting along but i did not expect them to become like this

🏷️: general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie @treehouse-mouse

[hai7ani]

PRINCESS TREATMENT haitani rindou

sfw

adult rindou is a lovesick fool + ran still peels rindou's prawns to this day

"What's better, vomit green or pee yellow?"

"'The hell's wrong with you?"

Rindou thinks you're stupid.

Not in a bad way of course -- he fucking adores it, especially when you're all sleepy and blabbering nonsense to him before bed in that stupidly cute face of yours. "Baby, have I ever told you that you look a bit like Chicken Little?" "Shut up. Go to sleep."

He says that with an annoyed expression and yet every time, Rindou will simply gaze into your eyes with a lovesick grin as you continue to sleepily mess with him in bed. A few swats to his chest when he sneaks a hand down the blanket to pinch your butt, a few giggles tumbling from your mouth when he attacks your neck with his lips because it tickles there . . .

And he'd air his whiny complaints out to Ran who is busy peeling prawns on the dinner table.

"I swear, why do all girls get zoomies when they're 'boutta fall asleep?" He rants to his brother with a scrunch of his nose and the older boy simply chuckles before placing down a nicely peeled prawn in Rindou's plate. "Does your girlfriend do that too? I gotta know, bro."

"You say that as if you don't like it. Love it, even." Ran licks off the sauce from his fingers with a look on his face. He stares at his brother, and stifles a laugh upon meeting eyes. ". . . And ya, she does." Rindou pokes into the prawn with his fork and brings it up to his mouth, before eventually choking on the meat from trying to hold back his own laugh.

Two unserious brothers.

And today, Rindou is holding your hand as you walk back home together after a dinner date out at a high-end restaurant in Aoyama. It is payday and he had immediately forwarded you a copy of his payslip when a notice from HR came through. "Eating nice today, baby." He'd smirked into the phone and you'd laughed loudly into the speaker. "Sure, sure. Whatever you want."

The crisp autumn wind blows past the two of you and dried leaves rustle around the walkway with some crunching beneath your shoes following the steps that you both take. You sway your hands together back and forth while kicking a pebble in your step.

"Answer it, baby. I needa know which kinda disgusting colour are you more into." You cling onto his arm and pout up at his blank expression.

Rindou pinches your thumb between his fingers while you giggle up at him, "do I seem like I got a fuckin' choice?" You shake your head, "you don't, no. So hurry up, answer it."

He clicks his tongue and moves to wrap a warm arm around your shoulders. "Lord have mercy. I'm stuck here with my annoying lady and she won't stop asking me weird n' stupid questions."

You ignore his whines and cries for help to the Lord and hug your arms around his frame tighter. You laugh into his shirt and a hand reaches up to caress at your hair. It's warm, it's comforting.

"Quickly, vomit green or pee yellow?"

"Dunno. You're stupid. Shut up. Go away."

You deadpan. He gives you a judgmental look that reminds you a bit of the silly The Rock meme that you always see on social medias before pulling you anymore closer to him.

You snort at it -- so much for telling you to go away.

"Fine. Have it this way then -- I'll massage your back tonight if you say pee yellow. Please."

It's an obvious bait -- it's deliberate.

". . . Pee yellow."

He willingly falls into it.

And Rindou flushes when you cackle and swat a hand at his back, "Jesus, Rin! Who's the stupid one now?" You point an accusing finger with a red face -- the aftermath of laughing so hard and he slaps it away with a faint pout. "Shaddap."

You approach a huge puddle of water on the ground and he hops over it in one big step. Rindou almost falls back when you don't let go of him, and instead, you remain where you are -- foot seemed to be mounted into the ground -- and you tug back on his hand. Hard.

Where on Earth did you find the strength to do that? He's got no idea at all.

"Shit, baby, I almost fell-"

Your hands break off somewhere in the process of him trying to regain his balance and not fall into the puddle of water with you figuring out your best course of action, and you soon realise that he's on the other side of the puddle now. You feel oddly left out despite the look of patience plastered on his face as he beckons for you to come over to him.

"C'mere, baby."

You stop moving, choosing to stare down the puddle with an annoyed expression instead while scratching at your bun that's starting to agitate you.

Your orbs scan around the tight walkway and notice that there isn't any walkable areas for you, and certainly not for the expensive Louboutin's you are currently wearing that is paired with a slim body-hugging dress hanging off your shoulders. No clear ground except for the muddy grass on the side from the light rain earlier, and you grimace at the thought of getting your heels dirty.

Because Rindou had gotten these shoes for you just last week -- you can't be getting them dirty this early into your ownership. These shoes are your pride and joy -- your absolute love. No harm can ever be done to them.

Rindou raises a brow at where he stands on the other side, staring at your figure who is awfully quiet all of a sudden. He notices that you aren't really paying attention to him and takes it a hint to follow your gaze instead -- the big puddle, the tight walkway, the muddy grass, the way you're checking and tapping your heels on the ground repeatedly . . .

And he pieces it together.

"I can't cross." You mumble and look up at him, who is already silently crossing your heavy Michael Kors over his torso. He puffs and fixes his hair before swiftly hopping back to you in one big step.

You reach out to hold his hands, a habit you make when you're unsure of what to do, and Rindou simply pulls you by the waist, closer to him, to grab at your arms and he looms it over his shoulders. You blink up at him with wide eyes and a cheeky smile -- you seemed to have picked up on what he's about to do -- and he resists himself to smooch at your rosy lips for being so cute.

He'll save that for later.

"C'mon, princess."

Rindou hurls you into his arms in one swift motion like an actual princess -- one arm supporting your back and the other tucked under your knees -- and you immediately smile widely into his neck, burying your face there as you shy and melt deep into his body. You hear wet footsteps sound through the area and can't help but finally let the giddy laugh escape your lips.

Rindou steps through the puddle while carrying your body in his arms with the heavy bag of yours slung over his torso that he's repeatedly tutted at the entire evening. "What the hell do you even put in there? It's always so heavy." "An umbrella, a recycled bag in case of emergency shopping, two packets of tissues, some pads, makeup, your stupid bulky power bank that you never use but still wants me to carry around-" "Enough."

You relish in the warmth radiating off his chest as you relax in his arms and thanking yourself for training a man like him.

You remind yourself to make it up to him tonight.

In what way? Guess he'll be finding it out tonight.

When Rindou finally makes it over to the other side, he moves to place you back down on your feet, but you cling closer to him at that and wrap your arms tighter around his neck.

"Noooo. Les' go home like this." You whine into his neck and he chuckles lightly, "I'll be all spent before we even get back home, baby."

Nonetheless, Rindou picks you back up and continues walking forward while you rest your head on his chest, listening to his frantic heartbeat and you giggle like a fool. "More the reason for you to look forward to tonight."

He smirks down at you in his arms upon your words, half-lidded eyes gazing straight into your mischievous ones. You bite your lip under his gaze and look away.

"Yeah? What should I be expecting?"

"Something like a really nice massage. Paired with a little extra thing."

You wiggle your eyebrows at it and Rindou leans his head down to bite at your cheek.

"I'll sure be looking forward to it, then."

Though the two of you are being rather . . . cheeky, right now, he can't help but have his heart swell at the current situation. It makes him feel all giddy on the inside and he silently prays the night hides it well enough that you don't notice the flaming red on his cheeks. (You always do, and you never point it out. It's so endearing to see him like this.)

You're giggling like a pretty baby in his arms as he carries you back home with wet footprints trailing behind and your heavy bag slung over his torso.

He smiles at it. You smile at him.

And Rindou will spend a lifetime carrying you home in wet shoes and sore arms if it means getting to see you so happy.

Happy with him.

reblogs are appreciated ≽ܫ≼

[zeldatourney]

Polls and Explanations

The tourney is over, and it's been a lot of fun! Especially for me, who got to see all the comments everyone left.

One recurring question I got (other than "Why would you pit two bad bitches against each other;" sir, this is the "pitting two bad bitches against each other" blog) was why I matched things up as they did. For example, putting Wind Waker up against Breath of the Wild in round one, when that seems like a final battle sort of deal.

There are two things that have always bothered me about poll tourneys.

Overwhelmingly, the results are dominated by "which is more recognizable" rather than "which is better." Just about everyone in the Zelda fandom has played Breath of the Wild, so it would outcompete almost everything based on sale numbers, which was boring and predictable.

The first few rounds never seemed to MEAN anything.

Number 1 was easy enough to fix: just add in options for "I haven't played these" and specify that you want answers from someone who's played both, and boom! You get informed opinions on which is better.

2, though, was more of a problem.

See, the way most brackets are engineered is to build up FOR that final battle. You want a clash of the titans as your finale! You want the biggest and baddest to have to claw their way to victory! You want your favorite game to have the highest kill count!

Which means your first round pits those titans against small competitors that never stood a chance, just to get them out of the way. With the exception of meme entries, nothing ever comes from that.

Of course Breath of the Wild would blow Cadence of Hyrule out of the water.

Of course the Oracles games wouldn't stand up to something like Skyward Sword.

None of these polls answer any questions. They're just obligatory so the match can get to that final battle without complaints.

Wanting to avoid that, the way I approached this bracket was a bit different. Instead of guessing at which would be the most popular and reverse-engineering that epic showdown, I wanted to match like with like.

So I made something to test the waters:

Without an explanation attached, this one made a lot of people mad! Why was I separating Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, which shared a map, but not Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, which were vastly different games?

I didn't have enough poll options to do every single game, so I had to mix. And the mix was strategic:

Most games on here that are paired together share fans. For example, the majority of Ocarina of Time players either like or are ambivalent towards Majora's Mask, while a VAST majority of Breath of the Wild players take issue with the story of Tears of the Kingdom. If I grouped BotW with TotK, I wouldn't be able to get a read on how many people loved TotK, because BotW would be so overwhelming.

I'd seen about equal fandom obsession with Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword, or with Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks, so I could take their result and divide it by half.

Anyone who didn't fit either of these criteria got grouped together as best as I knew how. Wind Waker and Minish Cap are both full of whimsy. Tri Force Heroes, Cadence of Hyrule, and Hyrule Warriors are all different gameplay loops than the standard Zelda, and are (at least honorary, in TFH's case) spin-offs.

This poll gave me good data. There was about an equal level of interest between Four Swords and Echoes of Wisdom. Minish Cap probably made up a very small percentage of Wind Waker votes, so it would have to fight its way up through smaller guys. Something BIG would have to go up against Breath of the Wild to have a fighting chance.

With all that in mind, I started hammering out what the polls would be. I wanted each one to

Be paired with something that had a similar level of interest

Answer a question or sate a curiosity

That way, hopefully, they'd be neck-and-neck, and I'd get some good opinions out of the people who voted one or the other.

So, with all that in mind: here's my thought process when making this tourney, step by step. You might have to click to be able to read it all.

So...what now? A loser's bracket? A re-do with different matchups?

Not exactly.

I'm going to make a separate post on that. Rest assured, though, this tournament is far from over.

This was just the first run.

[vanrougemoons]

almost midnight break-in.

prompt: Person A breaking into Person B’s room through the window.

• Late Birthday Present for @seareefer ♥ • Word Count: 994

Perhaps this isn’t how you imagined your night going. Actually, it’s not something you wouldn’t expect but it absolutely is not something you imagined happening tonight.

. . .

You had been mindlessly scrolling through your magicam feed. You liked a post Cater made earlier, and oooh’d at a photoshoot preview Vil uploaded. Truly, you were living the best life instead of sleeping and being an example for other students to follow.

You snort and instantly DM a meme to the group chat you have with Ace and Deuce.

Then you hear a tap on your window. Common sense tells you to disregard it because you’re too dulled out from all the historical events you’ve lived through since finding yourself in this world. Common sense also decides that it might just be a tree or something.

You hear a tap again and look up from your phone- waiting for your eyes to adjust to the change in lighting so you can figure out what’s actually going on.

The window shakes, and sure it could just be the wind making your run-down windows shake, as they often do. But you swear that you saw a hand smack against the glass.

You grip your blanket closer to yourself as your window jiggles open and you spot the two beady eyes staring straight at your eyes. In the darkness of your room, you really can’t make out a face but… bright yellow and brown? There are only two answers as to who it could be, and you quite doubt that one of them would crawl into your room at midnight.

Actually, both would- but you don’t think one would do it unless absolutely necessary.

You reach over to the half working lamp next to your bed and turn it on with a click. In a flash, a grinning face stares back at you.

“Shrimpy!”

You sit up in disbelief, “Floyd- how did… actually,” you shake your head, “never mind. Why?”

You should probably know better than to ask this boy why he’s climbing up to your bedroom at eleven at night. But you asked anyways.

The eel-boy in question manages to push the window up enough that he can slide into your room easily. You’re suddenly grateful that Grim’s taking the couch tonight as you deadpan at him, “Floyd.”

He stands up to his full height while stretching upwards, “I was bored.” He replies as if it were the most normal thing ever, you narrow your eyes at him.

“Being bored doesn’t mean that you can scale your way up to a bedroom, y’know?” your voice muffled by your blanket. You’re used to his antics, in fact, you’re surprised at yourself for being surprised that he’s here.

Shaking your head, you resign yourself to your fate and decide that this will simply be an all-nighter as you now have to babysit a bored eel. “Never mind— Got something on your mind?” You pat the space on your bed next to you.

His grimace widens as he strides over to you and easily hangs himself off of you instead of sitting next to you like a normal person. His arms wrapping around your shoulders, his head easily resting on top of yours. “Mmmmmnoooope.”

Even with the extra weight on you, you find yourself comfy. Your phone lays nearby forgotten as you lean your own weight onto Floyd.

And it’s quiet, that’s rare. Very rare when it comes to him.

The wind blows a soft breeze through the open window, and you manage to pull the sheet over this boy on you. A yawn escapes you, and you think you can hear him snort.

He pulls back and stares down at your eyes mischievously, “mmm? Don’t tell me you’re already tired? I just got here- come onnnn. You gotta last a bit longer.”

“What are you even-“ you yawn again, “planning… Leech?”

He reaches for your discarded phone and stares at the time.

11:58p.m.

“Shhhhhh~ Trust me, just a bit more.”

You can’t believe the audacity of this eel-boy, boy-eel? You huff and make a grab for your phone; he laughs and easily pulls it out of your reach.

“Gimme my phone-“

“Nahhh, don’t feel like it.”

You groan and try to grab it again, “you stinky eel, I’ll fry you if you don’t give it here-“

Empty threats that make his laugh turn into cackles as he pulls it away from you again, except this time- He falls backwards with you in tow onto your bed.

His laughter doesn’t stop as you attempt to grab your small entertainment box to no avail. You’ve successfully amused the eel enough, congratulations!

You sigh in exasperation, “did you just come here to terrorize me? I’m gonna sick Jade on you- I swear-“

A wide grin spreads onto his face again, “nu-uh.”

Without missing a beat, you whip your head up to look at him straight in the eyes, “the fuck you mean nu-uh.”

Your phone lights up as it’s turned face-up in his hand.

12:00a.m.

He beams with joy and sits up so fast that he almost smacks his forehead against yours. You’re lucky you ducked to the side and rolled next to him, leaning back on your arms.

“FINALLY.”

You’re taken aback by his sudden, “wh-what?”

He’s practically shining, his grin spreading from ear to ear. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”

. . .

You’re laughing. He’s there grinning at you like a dumbass, and you’re there laughing.

“Is this why you’re here?”

He nods so fast that it reminds you of a bobble-head figure. He looks so proud, and you’re here wiping tears from your eyes from how much you’re laughing.

“I told you I was going to be the first one to say it!”

You feel his weight crash onto you again, and you can’t help but think how much you don’t mind this.

. . .

Your phone stays on the floor forgotten, dinging every couple of minutes with notifications.

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Hyacinthus Iceberg Meme EXPLAIN (P1)

Part 1 ✿ Part 2 ✿ Part 3 ✿ Part 4 ✿ Part 5

It's time for me to answer your questions about this Hyacinthus iceberg meme. There is a lot to tackle, so I'll divide it into 5 parts for the sake of my sanity.

Quick disclaimer: I am NOT an expert in Greek mythology, just a fan of Hyacinthus who wants to learn about him and anyone related to him. Most of the things I'm about to discuss are just theories and speculations of a passerby on the Internet, so do not take them as valid facts!

Hyacinthus is Apollo's (boy)friend who died from a discus

We all know this. In almost every account that mentions Hyacinthus, we only have one paragraph about him that says he's beloved by Apollo, who accidentally killed him with a discus and turned him into a flower.

"[...] rich-tressed Diomede; and she bears Hyakinthos, the blameless one and strong […] whom, on a time Phoebus himself slew unwittingly with a ruthless disk." - Hesiod, "Catalogues of Women"

"They tell how this Hyakinthos was loved by Apollon, who accidentally killed him while hurling a discus." - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

"'You are fallen in your prime defrauded of your youth, o Hyakinthos!' Moaned Apollo. 'I can see in your sad wound my own guilt, and you are my cause of grief and self-reproach. My own hand gave you death unmerited - I only can be charged with your destruction.'" - Ovid, "Metamorphoses"

Zephyrus killed Hyacinthus

Another common version of Hyacinthus' death is that he is killed by Zephyrus, the West Wind. Zephyrus is jealous that Hyacinthus chose Apollo over him, so he pulls the classic "if I can't have him, no one can" move.

"A lout is Zephyros (the West Wind), who was angry with Apollon and caused the discus to strike the youth, and the scene seems a laughing matter to the wind and he taunts the god from his look-out." -Philostratus the Elder, "Imagines"

"Zephyros who just shows his savage eye from his place of look-out - by all this, the painter suggests the death of the youth, and as Apollon makes his cast, Zephyros, by breathing athwart its course, will cause the discus to strike Hyakinthos." - Philostratus the Younger, "Imagines"

"The death-bringing breath of Zephyros might blow again, as it did once before when the bitter blast killed a young man while it turned the hurtling quoit against Hyakinthos." - Nonnus, "Dionysiaca"

Even though this version is more popular than the tragic accident version, there are theories that Zephyrus' role in the story is a later addition. Apollo killing Hyacinthus should be the focus of the myth, and I will explain this in the section about deity Hyacinthus.

Hyacinthus is from Amyclae (Sparta)

Hyacinthus is a prince of Sparta. He must have lived and died in the city of Amyclae because this is where his tomb/shrine and intensity of worship are.

"Hyacinthus, the youngest and most beautiful of [Amyclas'] sons, died before his father, and his tomb is in Amyclae below the image of Apollo." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

"[...] at the Hyacinthia, before the sacrifice to Apollo, they devote offerings to Hyacinthus as to a hero into this altar through a bronze door [...]" - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

In Ovid's Metamorphosis, Apollo abandoned his shrine to hang out with Hyacinthus by the Eurotas River.

"And [Apollo] for [Hyakinthos] was deeper than he felt for others. Delphi, the center of the world, had no presiding guardian, while the god frequented the Eurotas and the land of Sparta [...]" - Ovid, "Metamorphosis"

And guess what? Amyclae is next to the Eurotas River!

(Map taken from Wikipedia)

Hyacinthus' most popular siblings: Polyboea, Argalus, Cynortus

Hyacinthus is one of King Amyclas' children, possibly his youngest son. Who are other siblings is different in each account, but Polyboea, Argalus, and Cynortus are the most popular.

"On the death of Amyclas, the empire came to Aigalus, the eldest of his sons, and afterward, when Aigalus died, to Cynortas. Cynortas had a son Oebalus." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

"They are carrying to heaven Hyacinthus and Polyboea, the sister, they say, of Hyacinthus, who died a maid." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

"But many say that Perieres was not the son of Aeolus but of Cynortas, son of Amyclas." - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

Polyboea is Hyacinthus' presumably younger sister, who was later resurrected and immortalized with him. There's even a 1804 painting depicting that scene:

Artemis is one of the deities who helped her and her brother, so she must have had the goddess' favor. However, it's never explicitly said that Polyboea becomes a huntress of Artemis.

The assumption is understandable because Polyboea died and revived into a maiden, so it makes sense she will follow Artemis like other girls (Iphigenia, Aspalis, etc.). Furthermore, Polyboea is often identified with another Spartan princess who becomes a virgin huntress: Phylonoe, one of the daughters of Tyndareus and her great-grandniece.

For Argalus and Cynortus, AFAIK they are the kings of Sparta after their father's death. Through them, Hyacinthus is related to other heroes and heroines (we will get to it in their section)

Argalus seems to be featured alone in another work: "Argalus and Parthenia" by Henry Glapthorne, which tells the love story of the titular couple. But whether or not the Argalus in this novel is the Spartan king Argalus is still up for debate.

Hyacinthus x Thamyris

Thamyris, the first man to fall in love with another man and Hyacinthus' presumably first love.

"Thamyris, son of Philammon and the Nymphe Argiope, the first male to love other males, fell in love with Hyakinthos. Later on, Apollon, who also loved him, accidentally killed him with a discus." - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

Other than that, we know that he is a skilled musician, inventing the Dorian mode and being made a king purely because his lyre-playing skill.

However, Thamyris also died because of music. He boasts that his skill surpass the Muses, ended up engaging in a contest against the goddesses, lost, and severely punished for his hubris.

"The river [Balyra] is said to have got its name from Thamyris throwing his lyre (ballein) away here after his blinding." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

"And Dorion, famed for Thamyris' disgrace, Superior once of all the tuneful race, Till, vain of mortals' empty praise, he strove To match the seed of cloud-compelling Jove! [...] The avenging Muses of the light of day Deprived his eyes, and snatched his voice away; No more his heavenly voice was heard to sing, His hand no more awaked the silver string." - Homer, "The Iliad"

It is also said that Apollo falsely accused him with the Muses because he wants to get rid of a competitor for Hyacinthus' hand (dick move, Apollo)

But I can only find this version in the book "Lovers Legends - The Gay Greek Myths" by Andrew Calimach. I don't consider it a valid source due to it being a collection of myth retellings but add in anyways.

"Apollo, however, thought it wise to rid himself of Thamyris first. He did not have to lift a finger: He simply told the Muses about the poet's boast. Furious, for they had been the ones to inspire Thamyris all along, the goddesses rushed down and punished the poet for his pride. As his mother looked on, dumbstruck, they ripped away his voice, his sight, and all memory of music." - Andrew Calimach, "Lovers Legends - The Gay Greek Myths"

If anyone has any ancient Greek sources about Apollo's snitching on Thamyris, please let me know!

Hyacinthus' less popular siblings: Laodamia, Harpalus, Hegesandra

Hyacinthus' lesser known siblings have one or two mentions about them, mostly by Pausanias.

"The mother of this Triphylus was not Erato, but Laodamia, the daughter of Amyclas, king of Lacedaemon." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

Laodamia is also known as Leanira, according to Apollodorus. But like the case of Argalus in Henry Glapthorne's novel, there is no 100% guarantee they are the same person, and Hyacinthus might have another sister.

"Arcas had two sons, Elatus and Aphidas, by Leanira, daughter of Amyclas [...]" - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

"Agenor, the father of Preugenes, was the son of Areus, the son of Ampyx, and Ampyx was a son of Pelias, the son of Aeginetes, the son of Dereites, the son of Harpalus, the son of Amyclas, the son of Lacedaemon." - Pausanias, "Description of Greece"

(reading this family lineage gives me a stroke)

Hegesandra is a little trickier to track down. I don't like using Wikipedia as a source because it can funky sometimes, but it's the only place I can find a slight mention of Hegesandra:

"Hegesandra married Argeius, son of King Pelops of Pisa. The couple had three sons: Melanion, Alector and Boethoos." (Wikipedia)

Hyacinthus' parentage

Hyacinthus has several sets of parents depends on each writer.

The most popular one is King Amyclas and Queen Diomede. I find this parentage the most believable and "canon" (for a lack of better words) because Hyacinthus is mainly worshiped in Amyclae, the city founded by his father, as said before.

"Amyclas and Lapithes' daughter Diomede had Cynortas and Hyakinthos. They tell how this Hyakinthos was loved by Apollon, who accidentally killed him while hurling a discus." - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

In the second another version, the Muse Clio and King Pierus are Hyacinthus' parents.

"Aphrodite, furious with Clio (who had chided her for loving Adonis), caused her to fall in love with Magnes' son Pierus. As a result of their union she bore him a son Hyakinthos." - Pseudo-Apollodorus, "Bibliotheca"

The third version has Oebalus as Hyacinthus' father, which is funny because it is commonly agreed that Oebalus is Hyacinthus' nephew through Cynortas.

"[Apollo lamenting to Hermes] No. I grieve for my beloved; the Lakonian, the son of Oebalus." - Lucian, "Dialogues of the Gods"

"Well, he says that he is Hyakinthos, the son of Oebalus; and now that we have learned this we must also know the reason for the god's [Apollo's] presence." - Philostratus the Younger, "Imagines"

However, there is a Thessalian version of Hyacinthus, where he is renamed into "Hymenaeus" and his father is King Magnes of Magnesia. We will discuss the relation between Hyacintus and Hymenaeus in their section.

"He had a son of remarkable beauty, Hymenaeus. And when Apollon saw the boy, he was seized with love for him, and would not leave the house of Magnes." - Hesiod, "The Great Eoiae"

TO BE CONTINUED

[flymmsy]

I'll send you a whole bunch of numbers for the meme at once so I don't have to keep scrolling the list on mobile haha - 11, 21, 56 and 59. Ideally for Lyra AND Gortash, but if one of them isn't keen to answer, that's fair. Or if you want to answer for default Durge! But I do love Lyra!

Aww thank you for the Lyra love, as always!!! I'll answer for her after Gort :)

→ Gortash

11. How would they describe their sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.) The phrasing of this question is so interesting because it’s how GORTASH would describe it himself hmmm. I think he’d say useful, selective, and when describing it to someone he needs something from - very enjoyable. 21. Are they happy with their body? Answered here! 56. Do they find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? Definitely through masturbation. He’s very guarded, so being on his own would allow him to feel more relaxed and therefore be more successful. I think he’s fairly successful with others but I definitely think he could struggle to either orgasm or get hard in certain scenarios. (If he had - or has if you’d like - a cunt, he’d be the KING of faking it.) 59. What’s the best orgasm they’ve ever had? Fighting The Breeding Urge in this answer but I actually think it would be the first time Durge blows him. It’s way before they establish any kind of trust, and it’s definitely right after Durge has eviscerated someone. His life is in SO MUCH danger and his cock is in EVEN MORE danger and he is SO FUCKING INTO IT that he practically blacks out.

→ Lyra (My Durge)

11. How would they describe their sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.) Messy, violent, and dangerous - but when using the word dangerous she means to herself, and not others. It /is/ dangerous to others, but she sees it as more dangerous to herself. Fear of losing control, even if she’s doing it to indulge in bloodlust. There’s always the fear of “what if she goes too far and falls under Bhaal’s influence forever” whenever she indulges in sex or violence, it’s just that sometimes the desire overrides that fear, or The Urge doesn’t give her much of a choice. 21. Are they happy with their body? Yes - to the point where she doesn’t even think about it. She’s specifically crafted to be the perfect physical weapon in every way. She’s beyond worrying about it (freaking demigods and their confidence 🙄) . The only thing she does think on is that she’s jealous of Orin’s changeling abilities. 56. Do they find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? With another person. First of all, most of her encounters outside of Gortash are extremely violent if not straight up murders - so she gets the added bonus of ‘The Ecstasy of Murder’. Secondly, when she is along and touching herself, her warring intrusive thoughts make it very difficult to bring herself to orgasm. I imagine before they sleep together, she touches herself to Gortash A LOT, but is never actually able to orgasm - poor girl. 59. What’s the best orgasm they’ve ever had? So this is a little sneak peek of the breeding fic I’m writing - but I have this very, very specific scenario in my head where Lyra and Gortash - who have otherwise been very careful in their encounters because they know the consequences - get so worked up about it because inside they are both just really breeding freaks - that they throw caution to the wind and just go for it. THAT orgasm is her strongest one because it is simultaneously extremely in line with Bhaal’s will while also being EXTREMELY against his will. It is the most “her” she could ever be.

[spacenintendogs]

Okay okay

Here's a question you probably can answer lol

What songs are the gang listening to on repeat in your modern au :)

ksxjsodkwkkd i have had a post abt their music tastes sitting in my drafts for months so i will just share that!! my own music is kind of limited bc i just listen to the same stuff over & over (bc neurodivergent™️) so!! my apolocheese for this not being as super in depth for some of the gang vs others. i am also open to suggestions ;_; a couple of these were from me talking with a pal, mainly astrid & fishlegs (@despiteherself hiiiii!!!!)

hiccup: lots of indie stuff, leaning more towards indie folk!! he likes anything rlly with strings involved. he's a dragonboy horsegirl at heart & wants to imagine riding through the air with winds blowing through his hair & wistfully wishing he could have a different life. he does listen to indie pop, too. he liked glass animals before they were popular & wants everyone to know it. also loves woodkid.

astrid: she has 5 songs she listens to & they were just songs ppl recommended to her. she only goes out of her way to listen to music if she's at the gym & doesn't want to talk to anyone (if snotlout is there it does not work </3) tuffnut told her "you should listen to mac miller" & she picked a single song & just made it a song she listens to. every single other song she's ever heard is inflicted upon her when she's in the car, at work, etc & her friends have their stuff. she's content with that

fishlegs: everything & anything u could possibly think of. it's all put together on one giant playlist. u will hear 1940s jazz followed by georgian chants followed by sam smith followed by power metal followed by edm & it just keeps going. knows the words to every song he ever hears. any genre, any language!! collects vinyl, tapes, cds, YOU NAME IT!!! very passionate abt music!!!!!!

snotlout: 2000s & 2010s pop & edm, duchess by fergie is one of his fave albums ever. loves lady gaga. everything else is dad rock. 80s thrash metal, nu metal, & 90s grunge, mostly. he wants to be cool so so bad, he wants to be a rockstar. learns to play guitar & is annoying abt it (can shred p well tho). is the reason everyone in the friend group has at least ONE slipknot song on their individual playlists

ruffnut: grunge, hip hop, rap, & house music. lots of in this moment & garbage. big kendrick lamar fan. lots of late 80s to early 00s for rap & hip hop. she likes to groove & vibe, occasionally headbang. i think she'd love mary j blige too. i think she, outside of everything listed, has a soft spot for p!nk & listens to her when she's having a hard time (her & snotlout sometimes listen together). i think she'd also enjoy billie holiday on a quiet day & no one is around. (she is not embarrassed by it ay all, she just likes having things for herself)

tuffnut: grunge, 70s soft rock, hip hop, & rap!!! lots of overlap with ruff but obv there's also a lot of differences!! the 70s soft rock is the main outlier. he enjoys cruising around & being wistful as he listens to america, doobie brothers, seals & croft, etc. he puts pop country on his playlists as a joke but it ends up stuck in everyone's heads & smth they all jam to to have fun.

there is a massive group playlist (fishlegs is the one who puts it together but will add a song if suggested) & it is a cacophony of so much shit. they all have their tastes but by the time they're adults they all know each other's songs & sing/jam along & have a fucking blast, esp in the car or at the sanctuary. the playlist is always on shuffle & there is the chance for a rickroll. always

songs that tend to get repeated by the group are psychosocial (slipknot), custer (slipknot), anything by pitbull, fire water burn (bloodhound gang), bbc (jaboukie), anything by woodkid, somebody i used to know (gotye), & anything by they might be giants & other assorted meme songs they love torturing each other with. (they are the most obnoxious group alive)

[quordleona03]

Tumblr won't let me answer the same ask twice: Klinger/Mulcahy

For some reason, tumblr won't let me answer the second ask by clicking answer. The first ask is here.

marley-manson asked: bj/hawkeye and/or klinger/mulcahy for the ship ask meme

Okay! Klinger/Mulcahy - Do I Ship It?

Yes, I Ship It!

What made you ship it?

Remember that time with Klinger and the live grenade he was going to frag Frank Burns with, and Mulcahy taking the grenade off him and never telling anyone - just as he never told anyone that he'd got the wind knocked out of him with a blow to the stomach in a fight between Burns and Klinger. Mulcahy saved Klinger's life (and Frank Burns, and anyone standing next to Frank Burns).

I think of Klinger showing up to Mulcahy's early morning Mass, every week: stealing Bibles for Mulcahy from a hotel: wanting Mulcahy to see him in the suit he was wearing when he got drafted so that Mulcahy will remember him as a man in a nice suit.

I don't think Mulcahy would break his vows for Klinger and I'm sure Klinger wouldn't ask him to. But I love their affection for each other - I can believe Mulcahy and Klinger sitting at the movies together kissing and holding hands. And ending with Mulcahy marrying Klinger to Soon-Lee ("don't do it, Father! Three's a crowd!") and asking Klinger to name his children after him. Maybe Klinger did.

They're friends who love each other and love kindness. Both of them would give the shirt off their back to help someone else.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

They're the two kindest, gentlest people in the unit.They're both slightly off-set gender - Mulcahy by being a professional celibate: Klinger by crossdressing. Mulcahy is professionally a pacifist and volunteered to serve as a chaplain: Klinger is a committed pacifist who had to be drafted. They'd never have met except at the 4077th, but it's impossible not to see that they'd like and respect each other wherever they met. (Their relationship in AfterMASH is one of the things I genuinely like about the first season of that show.)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's been written enough to have an unpopular opinion! I think if they had a clash, it would be over the number of times Mulcahy talks someone into going back to the front instead of deserting, whereas Klinger would happily give the deserter food, fake ID, and look the other way when they stole a jeep or bummed a ride in an ambulance.

[1-up-chump]

@mrstsung here. Hee hee.

Gonna be the first ask. I'll keep it simple.

GN pronouns. :3 <3

What fluffy hcs you got for shang tsung,raiden,fujin,and kung lao?

SORRY this took a bit to answer lol (got distracted)

Shang tsung:

usually this man pulls out the klassic nicknames a villain of his stature would give. "Darling" "love" "my dear" "my flower" but there would be one little nickname he'll give only to one who has his heart and soul. "Little mao mao" (which is "meow" in Chinese. Like "nya" is meow in Japanese)

Shang tsung sings and dances really good, however he doesn't like to do this in front of ANYONE. He feels insecure in an odd way, highly unusual for someone so full of himself. Perhaps such a simple, genuine, innocuous and human act would tarnish his reputation of "evil sorcerer". Perhaps he doesn't wish to be made fun of for something he genuinely and deeply enjoys.

If shang tsung's beloved is sick, he will strongly fret over them. He'll be annoyed like "clearly you should take better care of yourself" and bombard them with the finest medicine and highest quality tea and tiger balm (works wonders). He may appear annoyed and inconvenienced but really he's screaming on the inside bc that's the only person he ever gave half a shit about, let alone a whole shit about. Shang tsung will have what he desires and not even the elder gods are gonna take his beloved away without a fight.

Raiden:

Raiden takes note of how people like their tea or (elder gods forbid) coffee, and makes sure to make it exactly how they like it. Also raiden has a disdain for drinking coffee himself, despite liking the smell of it. Regardless of how much he shit talks sonya for drinking coffee, if he's making drinks he'll make it how she likes it. Pitch black with only half a spoon of sugar.

Raiden picks up modern day jokes just enough to have a basic understanding, and its not hard for him to get it as humans often repeat history a lot. So occasionally if someone tries to hit him with a "bofa" joke, he knows how to turn it around. All gods like to troll mortals every now and then. Wouldn't you if you were eons old?

Raiden might be serious at times, but will always indulge a tiny child's wish to play around. He knows when a kid wants to hide his hat away to spend more time with him and raiden pretends to totally not see the obvious place it's hidden at. Children's laughter always warms his heart and its hard for him to not smile at such sweet innocence only a kid could have.

Fujin:

Likes to make paper cranes and use the wind to blow them around, occasionally making tons of origami animals to create a scene with wind blowing them to life.

Some memes fujin gets and other times it flys quite literally over his head. Many times the victim of cassie cage's classic "master bofa detsu" joke. And yet surprises everyone with an "amongus" joke.

As a wind god and protector of earthrealm, it's not his only job, For annoying his brother by touching his stuff is what any good sibling does. Fujin bangs on raiden's taiko drums when raiden specifically tells him NOT to TOUCH. Fujin has been struck by many a thunder and lightning, but it's worth it.

Kung lao:

He takes good care of the rabbit in his hat (yes he does absolutely have a rabbit in his hat) and doesn't even mind it's actually a demon trapped in the body of a fluffy rabbit. For it befriended the great kung lao a long time ago and attached itself to his hat (that is now kung lao's, which has been modified with the blade)

Kung lao likes to whittle wood. He's very good at making tons of small wooden figures. One time, he and night wolf spent half an entire day making small wooden animals and talking about many things. Kung lao has made an entire wooden train track, complete with a wooden train. And it's his greatest creation.

Kung lao likes hip hop and rap, it surprises everyone except liu kang, who shares his taste. Although liu kang prefers old school rap. They both love dancing and if given the opportunity, tear up the dancefloor like nobody's business.

[a-muscle-the-size-of-your-fist]

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CHARACTER TAGS - ALL MUSES

Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fist; So Keep On Lovin'; Keep On Fightin' (𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Heard A Scream In The Woods Somewhere (𝔹𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Some People Are Just Born With Tragedy In Their Blood (𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

There Are Devils To Slay And Dragons To Ride; If They See You Coming; Hell They Better Hide (𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Everyone Was Stoked; It Was Like The Whole School Was Totally Coked Or Something (𝕃𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕡𝕠𝕡 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

We Twist In Torment And Make-Believe; There's A Truth And We All Submit (ℙ𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕪 ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Never Thought I'd Live To See The Dead Walk (ℝ𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝔼𝕧𝕚𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

So How Did You Learn To Be Sick; So Cunning? It's Easy To Sing But You Just Keep On Humming Along (𝕊𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Serial Killers Know How To Party (𝕊ℍℝ𝕆𝕆𝕄𝕊 𝕄𝕌𝕊𝔼𝕊)

Don't Make A Sound; They're Not Dead; Just Sleeping (𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 ℍ𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Why Must I Digest You When Every Single Bite I Take Gives Me Chronic Stomach Ache? (𝕋𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕤 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕔𝕣𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Mirror My Melody; Transfer My Tragedy; Got A Curse I Cannot Lift (𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Can Be the Monster; I Can Be The Teeth Sunk In Your Skin (𝕌𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝔻𝕒𝕨𝕟 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

CHARACTER TAGS - SINGLES

I'm Not A Good Person Ask Anyone Who Knows Me; I'm Mean And Bitter And A Failure (𝔸𝕕𝕒𝕞)

And When She Walks All The Wind Blows And The Angels Sing (𝔸𝕤𝕙𝕝𝕖𝕪)

I Want To Ride My Bicycle I Want To Ride My Bike (𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪)

I Will Battle For The Sun And I Won’t Stop Until I’m Done (𝔹𝕠𝕓𝕓𝕪)

It Skulks Around In The Shadows Watching Me; It's Waiting! It's Torturing Me By Waiting! (ℂ𝕒𝕥ℕ𝕒𝕡)

I Might Be The Villain In Somebody Else's Story But That's Fine (ℂ𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕒)

Kill Me I’m A Monster I Beg You Now ‘Cause I’m Not A Killer (ℂℍ𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥𝕥)

Hey There; I Know It's Hard To Feel Like I Don't Care At All (ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝)

My Life Is Like A Video Game Trying Hard To Beat The Stage (ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤)

Fingers Blistered From The Nightly Scratching At The Window Which Won't Open Far Enough To Let Air In (ℂ𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕪)

I'm Beginning To Lull Myself Into A False Security 'Cause It's Easier To Lie To Yourself Than To Face Reality (𝔻𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕕)

Do You Feel Okay? You Look Pretty Low; Very Handsome Awkward (𝔻𝕪𝕝𝕒𝕟)

I'm Not A Girl I'm A Swarm Of Bees; Wrapped In A Skin Suit; Perfect Teeth (𝔼𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕙)

And Everyone Tells You You’re Better; They Beg And Plead And Scream That You’re Better; But You Could Never Be Better Than You (𝔼𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤)

I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds If That's What You Need; Be Your Everything (𝔼𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟)

Mr. Cellophane Should Have Been My Name 'Cause You Can Look Right Through Me; Walk Right By Me; And Never Know I'm There (𝔽𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣)

I'm Fired Up And Tired Of The Way That Things Have Been (𝔽𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 & 𝕃𝕚𝕡𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜)

Why Are People Always Hating On Me? Hmm Must Be ‘Cause I’m Really Good Looking (𝔽𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕖)

They Won’t Like What I Say I Force It Out Too Corrupt They Hate Me Anyway (𝕀𝕒𝕟)

Don’t Let Me In With No Intention To Keep Me; Jesus Christ; Don't Be Kind To Me; Honey Don't Feed Me; I Will Come Back (𝕁𝕒𝕔𝕠𝕓)

Oh; He's Sweet But A Psycho; A Little Bit Psycho (𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤)

I'm Bigger Than My Body; I'm Colder Than This Home; I'm Meaner Than My Demons; I'm Bigger Than These Bones (𝕁𝕖𝕤𝕤)

Game Face On; Hit The Pose Like Perfect! Smack My Face On The Pavement; Nurses! (𝕁𝕦𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕥)

And Then My Eyes Got Used To The Darkness And Everyone That I Knew Was Lost And So Long Forgotten (𝕃𝕒𝕟𝕖)

The Rhythm Of Rebellion From The Rattle In Your Bones; A Sonic Liberation; Salvation In Your Headphones (𝕃𝕒𝕣𝕜)

Tiptoe Through The Window; By The Window That Is Where I'll Be; Come Tiptoe Through The Tulips With Me (𝕃𝕚𝕡𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜)

You Look At Me But You Don't See; Understand I'm A Sinner; Don't Corner Me; Don't Lecture Me (𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟)

You're Looking Good But You're Feeling The Pressure (𝕃𝕦𝕚𝕤)

The Tide Is Rising High; It's Sink Or Swim; It's Hit Or Miss; What Will You Pick? (𝕃𝕪𝕟𝕟)

I Cut My Tongue On The Rust Of A Silver Spoon (𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕜)

When My Time Comes Around Lay Me Gently In The Cold Dark Earth; No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕥)

I Never Knew You Could Hold Moonlight In Your Hands Until The Night I Held You (𝕄𝕒𝕩)

He Was In The Habit Of Taking Things For Granted; Granted There Wasn't Much For Him To Take (𝕄𝕚𝕜𝕖)

I've Had To Work Much Harder Than This For Something I Want; Don't Try To Resist Me (𝕄𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕦)

Staying Up Until The Morning I Wish I Was More Discerning (𝕆𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕒)

What Doesn't Kill You Will Make You A Killer (ℙ𝕖𝕥𝕖)

Of Course I Get Manic When I Cause A Panic (ℙ𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕣)

In The Valley Of The Dolls We Sleep; Got A Hole Inside Of Me (ℙ𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕪)

Oh My Yeah I Get So High I Can’t Think Sometimes I Try And Drown In My Drink (ℝ𝕠𝕣𝕪)

If I Wasn't A Narcissist I Wouldn't Like Me Either (𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥)

I Hope I Become A Ghost And Make Sure The Future Turns Out Fine (𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕤)

You Take A Mortal Man And Put Him In Control; Watch Him Become A God! Watch People's Heads A-Roll! (𝕊𝕨𝕒𝕟)

You'll Learn Right Now I Don't Play Nice And If You Hurt Me Once I'll Kill You Twice (𝕋𝕒𝕣𝕒)

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby; Nothing’s Gonna Take You From My Side (𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕤)

I Feel So Bad I Got A Worried Mind; I'm So Lonesome All The Time (ℤ𝕠𝕖)

PET TAGS

If You Want Me To Wait I Will Wait For You; If You Tell Me To Stay I Would Stay Right Through (𝔹𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕥)

I Guess I'm Waiting For Nightfall Or A Solar Eclipse (𝔻𝕦𝕜𝕖)

Here Come The Wolves; They're Coming To Get You (𝕎𝕠𝕝𝕗𝕚𝕖)

VERSE TAGS

V: Don't Scream Your Story's Marred With Bad Intentions - Main Verse - Canon events have happened unless previously discussed. Dead muses can be interacted with as ghosts/zombies or in flashbacks. Note: Adam is dead for this AU.

V: Just Let The Sun In; It's Love! - Everything Is Fine And Nothing Hurts Verse - No canon events have happened. Typically a modern AU unless there's a specified time period in the media.

V: Everything Is Alright; Yeah Tell Me That You're Alright - Post-Canon Fix-It Verse - All canon events happened but Something happened to rewind things. All dead characters are alive again and are okay. They have scars from their deaths, however.

V: Smile For The Camera But Don't Flash Your Teeth - Werepire Verse 1 - Please see muse list for Werepire species of each muse - A verse in which supernatural creatures are real and people know about them. They are integrated into society like normal people for the most part.

V: I Could Be Honest; I Could Be Human; I Could Become The Silver Bullet In Your Head - Werepire Verse 2 - Please see muse list for Werepire species of each muse - A verse in which supernatural creatures are real and they are not widely known by the general public. They must hide themselves and present human as much as they can, and many do by means of magic.

V: The Smell Of Flowers Was So Thick And Sickly Sweet I Felt Like I Might Choke To Death - Hanahaki Verse - Please see muse list for the flowers that they cough up in the verse. UNDER CONSTRUCTION - A verse in which unrequited love leads to the coughing up of flower petals. It can be fatal if the infected person does not get the surgery to remove them or confess and have those feelings returned.

Blair Witch Verses

V: And Everybody Says They Know Better; And Maybe They’re Right - Non-Blair Witch AU - Ellis didn’t go to the forest to look for Peter because Bullet got sick after stealing a piece of pizza with onion on it. He made it because Ellis took him to the vet immediately, but he missed going to the search party. Lane and Talia never went with the group to the woods because of Lane's father interfering and making them late.

V: I Still Felt Real Depressed But I've Got Plenty Of Other Things To Spend My Time - Fix-It AU - Ellis reasons with the witch and manages to undo a lot of the damage to those he cared about. As long as they remain in Black Hills Forest, he is allowed to have Emmett and Carver around. He spends a lot of time with them and calls Jess whenever he has a signal. Lane does not become possessed due to Ellis' relationship to the Witch. She takes pity on him, but cannot let him go, so he remains with Ellis and the others.

V: Sometimes The Short End Of The Stick Is The Sharpest - Becoming Carver AU - Ellis destroyed all of the witch's sigils and eventually became Carver. He is a gentler Carver and is still depressed and guilty. He hates what he's done and craves death much of the time. All he wants is his freedom.

V: Hey Would It Be So Bad If I Stayed? I'm Just A Ghost Out Of His Grave - Ghost!Ellis AU - As a ghost, Ellis haunts the woods and the surrounding area. He is joined by the other dead in the forest and is often subjected to the witch's desires and whims. He spends a lot of time with her and the other ghosts in the forest.

Final Destination Verses

Insidious Verses

Resident Evil Verses

V: I Wanna Start From The Top Maybe Like A Do-Over - Patch Notes AU - Post-canon Fix-It AU. Nobody stayed dead, nothing hurts, and everything is fine.

Saw Verses

Silent Hill Verses

The Quarry Verses

Until Dawn Verses

EVENT TAGS

None At This Time

ON-BLOG & TAGS

I'll Build A New House In Every Town I Pass Maybe Then I Won't Always Feel Lost And Trapped (Adam & Peter)

All You Need Is Just Some Good Fxcking Music You Can Headbang To (Adam & Scott)

A Woman's Voice; I Quickly Ran; Into The Trees With Empty Hands (Ellis & Lane)

I Am Aware That You Are All Assholes; Who The Hell Cares About All Of That Though? (Lark & Scott)

And He Tells Me He's Sick And He's All Alone (Logan & David)

Me Without You Ain't Right (Mike & Jess)

ON-BLOG SHIP TAGS

We Creep About The Floor To Indulge Like Rats (Adam ♡ Lark)

A Mí Ne Gusta Que Me Digan Poesía; Al Oído Por La Noche Cuando Hacemos Groserías (Ashley ♡ Luis)

Eres Una Obra De Arte; Con Solo Mirarte; Algo Que Da Paz (Luis ♡ Ashley)

He Doesn't Know What He Deserves But He Still Falls So Hard It Hurts (David ♡ Logan)

You're A Lesson That I Wish I'd Never Learned So Well (Lark ♡ Scott)

I Shouldn't Have Fallen In Love; Look What It Made Me Become (Logan ♡ David)

I Just Wanna Feel Alive And I Do When I’m With You (Mike ♡ Jess)

Combat Baby; Come Back Baby; Fight Off The Lethargy; Don't Go Quietly (Scott ♡ Adam)

I'm Too Sweet To Be Salty About It; Too Sour To Be Happy Without It (Scott ♡ Lark)

& TAGS (SPECIFIC)

& Tags With @lovely-cadavers

Frown Gets Her Way Like Every Step To The Daylight Keeps You Stumbling On (Ashley & Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Have You Ever Been Close To Tragedy Or Been Close To Folks Who Have? (Clancy & Jack - lovely-cadavers)

I've Never Had To Knock On Wood; But I Know Someone Who Has; Which Makes Me Wonder If I Could (Clancy & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

I Got These Terrible Dreams Where I Do Terrible Things; I Don't Want To Believe It's You I Am Doing Them To (Ethan & Jack - lovely-cadavers)

Oh; Now You Are A Handful; I Forgot About Handfuls (Ethan & Karl - lovely-cadavers)

I Got The Devil In The Details And He's Gonna Teach Me Wrong From Right (Ethan & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

I Just Wanted To Protect You; But Now I'll Never Get To (Ethan & Rose - lovely-cadavers)

Come Back To Me A While; Change Your Taste In Men (Luis & Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Say What You Want And What You Want Is Behind Your Teeth (Moreau & Alcina - lovely-cadavers)

They Tell Me That You're Lonely; It's No Surprise When You Walk Around All Day Wearing Those Lonely Eyes (Moreau & Donna - lovely-cadavers)

I'll Be Just Fine Pretending I'm Not; I'm Far From Lonely And It's All That I've Got (Moreau & Karl - lovely-cadavers)

Stronger Folks You Could Not Find; They Ain't Afraid To Speak Their Minds (Zoe & Jack)

'Cause At Night; The Sun In Retreat; Made The Skyline Look Like Crooked Teeth (Zoe & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

& Tags With @inthepines-inthepines

Can't You See Me? You And I We Are The Same (Ellis & Carver - inthepines-inthepines)

But On The One Day They Close Early; That's The One You Want To Stay (Ellis & Emmett - inthepines-inthepines)

But Please Don't Give Up Dear Walls; Don't Let The Ceiling Fall (Ellis & Jess - inthepines-inthepines)

& Tags With @but-ive-been-called-worse

It Feels Like We're Dying But Baby We're Doing Just Fine (Adam & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

You'll Never Hear This Song; You'll Never See The Movie In My Head (Adam & Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Forget Everything You Think You Knew Of Who I Used To Be I Look Much Better As The Enemy (Cecilia & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Pretty Boy Don't Speak; You Pretty Boys Are Only Good For One Thing (Mallick & Brit - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Float Like A Butterfly Sting Like A Killer (Peter & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

The Saint Charade Is Over Plastic Royalty Exposed (Peter & Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist (Peter & Mark - but-ive-been-called-worse)

You're Something To Die For But Don't Hold Your Breath Now; You're Just Killing Time (Peter & Lindsey - but-ive-been-called-worse)

& Tags With [Placeholder]

Here We Are Just About The Same; Foggy Little Feline; Drowsy Little Dog (CatNap & DogDay - Placeholder)

& Tags With @21xpickup

I Died So I Could Have You; I Died So I Could Haunt You (Clancy & Lucas - 21xpickup)

I've Got Friends In All The Right Places; I Know What They Want And I Know They Don't Want Me To Stay (Ethan & Lucas - 21xpickup)

They're Hiding Their Faces; Their Smiles Can Break The Heart In Two (Zoe & Lucas - 21xpickup)

& Tags With @emilesmuseassembly

Don't You Want To Get Matching Necklaces? Each Of Us Can Wear One Half Of The Heart (Jess & Matt - emilesmuseassembly)

The Only Thing Constant Was The Constant Reminder He'd Never Change (Mike & Matt - emilesmuseassembly)

& Tags With @trapped-twins

Don't Look So Down And Out; Built Your House You Burned It Down (Logan & David - trapped-twins)

Everybody Said Uh-Oh; Let's Go; Here Comes Trouble But Trouble Does Come In Threes (Specs & Adam & David)

What If There's Nothing More To Me? I'm Just Skin And Bones; There's No Mystery? (Specs & Adam - trapped-twins)

The Bright Ideas Always Get Lost Along The Way (Specs & David - trapped-twins)

& Tags With @wr4th-of-the-gods

Stay Right Here; We Can Change Our Plight; Storming Through This Despite What's Right (Chell & Stacy - wr4th-of-the-gods)

& Tags With @homelander-rp-blog

You Got A Reaction Didn't You? You Took A White Orchid Turned It Blue (Clancy & Homelander - homelander-rp-blog)

They Cannot Steal The Light That Shines From Who You Once Were (Ethan & Homelander - homelander-rp-blog)

& Tags With @thxwxlf

I'mma Shake You Off Though; Get Up On That Horse And Ride Into The Sunset; Look Back With No Remorse (Bobby & Kekipi - thxwxlf)

I've Got An Animal Inside Of Me; I'm Getting Sick Sick Sick Of Pushing It Down (CHackett & Kekipi - thxwxlf)

& Tags With @suniside-crossing

Don't Be Scared My Friend; Death Is A Beginning Not An End (CatNap & DogDay - suniside-crossing)

& Tags With @riggedtraps

Put Your Fist Up If You Wanna Do Something; Make Your Mind Up If You Wanna Do Something (Logan & Amanda - riggedtraps)

& Tags With @dollhidden

Strutting Through The City; Her Heart Has Got No Pity For You (Ethan & Alcina - dollhidden)

Tragedy Comes In Threes; Third Degree Apathy (Ethan & Bela - dollhidden)

I Need You To Hurt Me; I Need You To Fight Me; I Need You To Kill Me; I Need You To Destroy Me (Ethan & Cassandra - dollhidden)

It's Not That I'm So Unprepared; It's Just You'd Think I'd Grow Out Of This; Wouldn't You? (Ethan & Daniela - dollhidden)

& Tags With @twinklefairy-dust

Is It Wrong There's A Song That Is Called Barracuda? There Is None That Is Named After You! (Moreau & Jazmin - twinklefairy-dust)

SHIPPING TAGS (SPECIFIC)

Ship Tags With @lovely-cadavers

'Cause I'm In Too Deep And I'm Trying To Keep Up Above In My Head Instead Of Going Under (Clancy ♡ Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

If You Rise Again Take A Form I Know (Ethan ♡ Jack - lovely-cadavers)

Baby; No One's Honest Anymore But We Could Be Different (Ethan ♡ Karl - lovely-cadavers)

No Te Vayas Quédate (Luis ♡ Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Ship Tags With @inthepines-inthepines

Somebody Somewhere Will Clean Out Your Wounds With Dirty Fingers (Ellis ♡ Carver - inthepines-inthepines)

If You Need A Little Sunshine You Can Borrow Some Of Mine (Ellis ♡ Emmett - inthepines-inthepines)

Seems Like We've Waited Long Enough For Someone Else To Make Us Feel Complete (Ellis ♡ Jess - inthepines-inthepines)

Ship Tags With @but-ive-been-called-worse

I Need Love So Someone Bring Me A Photographer (Adam ♡ Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

'Cause When I Mess Up You Never Give Up Your Love; Yeah I'm A Fuck-Up But You Swear I'm Enough (Mallick ♡ Brit - but-ive-been-called-worse)

I'll Fill The Graveyards Until I Have You (Peter ♡ Mark - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Shipping Tags With [Placeholder]

I'm Daydreamin' With My Chin In The Palm Of My Hands; About You And Only You (CatNap ♡ DogDay - placeholder)

Ship Tags With @trapped-twins

I'll Be Your Lucky Star If You Promise That You'll Never Let Me Go (Logan ♡ David - trapped-twins)

Ship Tags With @suniside-crossing

I've Grown A Mouth So Sharp And Cruel; It's All That I Can Give To You My Dear (CatNap ♡ DogDay - suniside-crossing)

[tanoraqui]

For the fic title game – silm fandom, “Ere Day’s Ending”? (Maybe slightly cheating with a quotation from the book!)

belatedly answering the last question from this ask meme -

...well, I'd probably write a Dagor Dagorath fic for "Ere Day's Ending". But I mixed up my quotes and thought up a whole idea for, instead, "Ere the Sun Rises", from Theoden's speech upon the Fields of Pelennor:

It's just Merry going about his day, one random day in the early Fourth Age. The only strife is someone's cow got into someone else's good flowers and as Master of Buckland, he has to sort that out before a blood feud starts. And there's some task at home he has to get done before the end of the day, or maybe by tomorrow morning, or he'll be in trouble with Estella. Replacing a door with faulty hinges, which he insisted he could and would do himself and now it's a Thing.

Also, it's March 15, the anniversary of the Battle of Pelennor Fields, and Merry doesn't think about it much but in the morning he, after a moment of consideration, straps his horn to his thigh (he does get to blow it to the great entertainment of some children, later, maybe to start them on a race around an orchard); and throughout the day and the fic, there are things like...someone's hair blowing in the wind like a horse's mane. Noting the bridge of the border of the Shire which was repaired by the grace of the King; waving to a Ranger ambling by on a patrol, which isn't expected to find anything but peace in these years but still they come by, and sending someone out to them with a good picnic dinner. Something startles him at one point, on this day, but it's just a post-pony racing up the road for the rider's fun, or a metal trowel accidentally clashing against a metal bucket.

He meets up with Pippin and they have a drink, swapping tales of the few days since they last saw one another and sharing one mostly silent toast. Maybe they share some pipeweed and Marry thinks about all that he never did get to tell Theoden - and notes to Pippin that they need to send some seeds and a small barrel of the newest crop south to Ithilien, for Eowyn and Faramir's anniversary (a marriage for which Merry and Pippin both claim some credit)--

Then Merry abruptly remembers that he still hasn't fixed that door and Estella is going to kill him, or at least judge him really hard, and he races home and gets it done just before his mother-in-law arrives for a visit (the one who will really judge him).

And it's good, and it's full of peace and life.

[aleisters]

thnx for the tag @yrlietlanaevyss <3

Last song: any way the wind blows - hadestown original cast

Currently watching: i don't really watch tv anymore except for wrestling, so its the aew + roh rotation every week

Three ships: uhuhhhhh ummmm

pibblepossum

hangswerve

haarlep/raphael always

Favorite color: my brain rotates purple, yellow and black

Currently consuming: i am so slowly watching a bunch of aew timelines things & also every darby interview i can get my hands on haha... and a lot of sdv vids when fray sends me them lmao

First ship: oh, no. you're plumbing the depths here. it was hermione/snape. i'm sorry. i was a child!

Place of birth: england <- retaining frays answer

Current location: england hehe <- retaining frays sense of whimsy

Relationship status: i am steamrolling year 7 with my partner 🤙

Last movie: oh i watched the crow finally recently. that was a really good movie, very stylish. brandon lee was an incredibly pretty boy.

Currently working on: setting up my room for the new dog we're getting! i should be doing that and not this meme!!!

tagging @openedskull and @spinetacks bc fray already tagged like most of my other mutuals so i had to get my partner and my darby mutual in here

[beautiful-songbird]

MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Annotated Catastrophe

I will load up the mnm cannons!

Synonym Rolls. Just like Grammar used to make.

A Meme I Saw Somewhere Once Upon A Time

Confused yet?

I AM AWAKE! “Seriously friend? I thought you were asleep.” NO I WAS A CATERPILLAR!

Reindeer rEiNdEeR reindeer REINDEER reinDEER REINdeer oh deary, deary me the rain is drearily dripping…

Give me the reins, my dear, the winds are blowing!

No. The reindeer reins over the rain and the reins belong to him.

I can SLIT THIS CLAY POT WITH A SPOON WHY DIDN’T YOU BAKE IT???

“Chill out!” I am chill. Chilled to the bone. It is cold in here. LET ME OUT! *Bangs frantically on the walls and leaves bloody claw marks everywhere and loses a fingernail*

THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED! NO! ON YOUR RIGHT! YOUR OTHER RIGHT! NO NO NO YOUR LEFT NOW! NATALIA IT WAS OPEN THE WHOLE TIME!

Chihuahua? You mean yapping land piranha.

IT WAS NINETY THREE DEGREES IN HERE HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU COLD!?

Ninety seven.

“I hate you.” No you don’t. “Yeah I do.” How? I’m awesome. “Name one way that you’re awesome.” I uhhh… never mind I hate me too.

TARZAN TARZAN TARZAN Please close the door I’m busy dancing “Yeah I agree just seeing your face gives me nightmares” Good. Motivation to leave me alone. *Secretly cries all night.*

*Eats paper* I AM EATING MY WORDS

Oh woe is me the sky is neon magenta and the grass is neon yellow. Kinda nauseating.

I will TWIST YOUR FINGERS OFF AND MAKE YOU EAT THEm or not that’s a little gross.

Parabolas are horrible! *Snickers* A neverending curve of tomatoes *Snickerdoodles a snickers snickerdoodle while doodling a doodley doo doo doo do da daddley doodley daeeEEEYah (fades into a random off key tune)* six times six is twelve and four times two is ZOE STOP CLIMBING ON MY HEAD I CAN’T BREAtHE

Forty nine fifty fifty two fifty three seventy twelve ninety eleventy A THOUSAND GAZILLION PUPPY CATS!

I am POISON IVY and I will itch you to death no I’m just an acorn don’t worry I’m nice okay

OF COURSE HUMMINGBIRDS DO NOT HAVE FEET I AM AN ARCHEOLOGIST SO I KNOW AlL ABOUT HERPETOLOGY SO THIS IS VERY RELEVANT YOU RABID SQUIRREL

…You are a meteorologist on screen, on TV, who studies astrology. And no, pangolins do not have tongues, to answer your question.

What? No. Volcanoes don’t exist. They’re just in movies, silly.

OF COURSE DINOSAURS ARE STILL ALIVE!

Didn’t the alleged big bang happen last year?

No that was the ice age. You should be fired. You are a reporter, cardboard potato masher!

The Collective takes personal offense at your stupidity.

Alright, alright. Let’s get this meeting under control. Darth Vader, may I ask why you brought an alpaca? Show and tell? What is this, kindergarten?

The cat oinks at the gecko. The gecko turns towards it, looking perplexed. The cat eats it while it is hesitating, trying to make sense of the ordeal. The perfect plan.

*raises eyebrow skeptically* I said no more murder.

*the trio of assassins mounted on alpacas glare at him, disappointed, and very sneakily ride off into the sunset with rubber duckies taped to their feet*

*busts into the room* I SWALLOWED A PENNY AND SURVIVED! *duct tapes the door back onto its hinges* SEE? I AM IMMORTAL! *starts choking, turns blue, and collapses*

The more. I present to you, the shabin. It is not shabby. We just use it as a shed. Please do not try to eat the mouse bait.

*a centaur hatches from a chicken egg*

*stares at the ceiling fan in utter fascination* So... swirly...

Swurled muffins!

*A little green bug coughs.* "Er, parson sir, but I was, er, sleeping, you are quite rambunctious, my lad."

*Tears form* N-no... not rambunctious...

*Fades into a quarrel about the pronunciation of 'quarry'*

A MOSQUITO WITH ROLLER SKATES Doing cartwheels around a bottlebrush flower

*Licking driftwood* Yummy algae. It had some pollywogs. Protein.

The scrawny metallic rhino. Like why must they all be pelicans? They look like pitcher plants. Where's the jawbone? Snap their jaw like a popsicle stick.

*A cat walks over*

"Ooh the human isn't petting me there's a leaf LEAF COME HERE GET OVER HERE YOU LEAF HOW DARE YOU YOU HAVE MORTALLY OFFENDED ME ooh hey human can you pet me I want to be petted please pet me NO DON'T TOUCH ME HOW DARE YOU MY FUR IS PRECIOUS AND YOU WILL MAR MY MASTERPIECE uh oh there's that leaf the leaf will kill me we're all doomed"

Dogs have to be annoying. Probably yelling the same thing over and over forty times every time someone walks by.

I'm sorry, I'm just imagining the cacophony of fourty seven flies all politely asking permission to land on you at once and then doing it regardless of the answer.

Mosquitoes are the same with humans. Now I'm imagining them in suits and ties and British accents very politely biting people and then sophisticatedly wiping their stinger things with silk napkins.

"Hello madame, may I please, if you may, have a morsel of sustenance?"

"Kind sir I am in need of your blood so that I may not die"

"Ooh, how very impolite of you to remove my sister from existence. That was an undesirable sight. Now I will do the same exact thing she did."

TAPEWORM SOUP Strawberry sauce Koi fish Graphite *slurpy Noodles*

SQUIRRELS ON POGO STICKS

I'LL SALT MY COLD CHICKEN WITH YOUR TEARS!

I'll use your fear to attract the coyotes.

And I'll grind their teeth on top like pepper.

I'll pour your bile into a waffle maker.