#the amount of people ive dated who have said “no i kiss them but im not gay.”

[just-existing-as-you-do-blog]

Not to be a creep but do you wanna hold hands? Sorry if you want to shoot me in the head instead.

[sxtvrns]

publicly romantic

🎶 now playing: in my heart (demo) - grentperez

P: Lee Felix x Fem!Reader

S: He fell first, and he fell hard. When you were on the big screen behind him, he knew he fell for you even more.

W: fluff, drabble because im in my kpop era now, no knowledge of skz at all, short

N: if im being honest guys the only reason i decided to write this was because i got inspired by those fan dance things during their world tour ive only ever listened to case 143 and i apologize if this makes me an outsider but i thought this was cute okay enjoy the content

please interact if you enjoy!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

When your boyfriend said he was going on a world tour, you did not think it was going to last for nearly an entire year. JYP better give them a break after this.

Dating Felix was a handful. He was always busy and his schedule was packed, you both were travelling constantly, having a home in Sydney and in Seoul. With the tour on his hands as well, it didn’t make it any easier. You saw all the edits of him flooding the internet, all of them reminding you of how much you missed your boyfriend.

So when you were told he was going to Australia, and you were conveniently going to be there at the same time as his concert, you had your fingers crossed you could get tickets. You didn’t care if you were in the pit or in the nosebleeds; you were happy to even be in the same room as him for a little while, even if you had to admire him from afar.

You texted him and called him as much as you could. Whenever your phone rang, you always assumed he was on a break or had free time, knowing that it probably meant the rest of the day was full of work. The amount of people that love him reminds you of how lucky you are to have such a handsome guy who seems so out of reach be your boyfriend.

Things weren’t kept secret for long. When you visited Felix one time, he forgot he was live, saying your name and three forbidden words out loud and straight to the camera: I love you. You never showed your face that live, your hand merely waving hello. It wasn’t until you left the room that both of you had realized what he’d done.

You came into his room after he finished his live, putting his phone away. “What the fuck did you do.” You say, more of a statement rather than a question. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to– it just slipped out!”

“If I knew you were going live, I wouldn’t have come. You slip up easily whenever I’m around.”

“That’s because I love you. And that’s also exactly why I didn’t tell you because I wanted to see you.”

You pace around the room, panicking. “JYP’s gonna kill us. He’s gonna kill you. Your fans are gonna come and kill me!”

“He already knows.”

“What do you mean, ‘he knows’?”

“Chan accidentally ran his mouth. If anything, you wouldn’t be in my room right now if JYP forced me to break up with you. He just told me to be careful… and I do. Ever since we started dating, I’ve been careful.” He sighs, setting his phone down and walking up to you. “I’m sorry. I… you can stay here for a few days if you’re too scared to go outside.”

He knew that people could find what you look like and all your other information with a mere search of your name. This wasn’t the same as other people knowing who his sisters were. Him getting into a dating scandal would jeopardize your safety and his group. He didn’t care about his group at the moment, he was scared for you.

“I… I’d like that, actually. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I assume that means you don’t mind sharing a bed? Unless you want me to sleep on the floor.”

“You really think I want you to sleep on the floor after the amount of time we’ve been apart?” Your response makes him smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead and pulling you in for a hug, his hand caressing the top of your head. “I’m really sorry. I know I messed up. And I’m sorry I can’t be there for you all the time.”

“I know. It’s okay. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. I know you’re working hard and you’re busy. But… I’m hoping we can still try to enjoy ourselves for the time being.”

He pulls away to look at your face, being confused about your sudden switch up.

“Yes, I’m scared, yes, my life is probably going to be in danger at some point, but I did not come to see you just to worry about this and our relationship going public. It’s out there now, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I know I was panicking about it a few seconds ago, but I’ve come to terms that it happened already. I forgive you. And honestly, I’m glad that you’re that comfortable with me to say it in front of thousands of people.”

“I’m sorry–“

“You’ve apologized enough. It’s okay now.” You cut him off, going onto your tip toes to kiss his nose. “Can we order something? I’m hungry.”

“You didn’t think of doing that before my live ended?”

“I was gonna ask you, but I felt I intruded already.”

After that whole fiasco, people found your social media accounts, some of them even following you, flooding your comments with nothing but sentences that had the name Felix in it at least once. You got a few death threats even, but you tried to not let it get to you too much. It made you a bit paranoid, but the more you went out, the more you forgot about them.

Articles were written; Tiktoks and edits took over your feed about the ‘mystery girl’ or ‘Y/N’ behind the camera that gave Felix heart eyes whenever he looked at you. Eventually, they found out what you looked like, and though you were expecting insults, you were instead given compliments.

Pretty, adorable, beautiful… words that made you feel comfortable to be a part of Felix’s life publicly. He never brought it up during conversations or interviews unless another person did, which, he was very cautious with what he was saying.

You had your fair share of hate. It bothered you a little bit, but then remembered the only reason they hated you was that you had something they didn’t: Felix. His love and affection, his admiration and attention. It boosted your ego unhealthily, but you weren’t gonna get all full of yourself over it.

He wasn’t necessarily open about his relationship. He wouldn’t bring up the topic himself; usually someone else would have to. He would answer any questions, but there was always a limit to them. He was all nice about it though, always asking you after if what he said was okay to share with others.

“‘How’s Y/N?’ She’s good. She’s actually visiting, so I hope I’m not too loud.”

“‘How did you two meet?’ She does camerawork and paid us a visit, shadowing someone else. She always came along for a few shoots in a row, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so I just asked when no one was looking.”

“You wanna see her? She’s not too comfortable on camera, so I don’t think–“

“Felix, do you want this?”

You look at his tripod set up, then his surprised expression, as if he’d seen a ghost. “What’s wrong? Am I interrupting?”

“Nothing. What is that?”

“It’s a grilled cheese. I put the last of your gochujang in the butter.”

“Ah, thanks, we needed to get rid of it somehow.” You eye the camera. “Your face isn’t showing.” He clarifies, allowing you to walk into frame, letting him take a bite of the sandwich. His eyes light up, enthusiastically nodding. “It’s good!”

“Do you want it? I’ll make another one for myself.” He nods, taking the plate from you. “Thank you!” He says, mouth full as you walk out the door. “Look at this, guys. You guys summoned her, now I get good food.” He bites into it again, visibly enjoying the simple sandwich you made. “I love my girlfriend.”

The clip went viral. It’s now one of Felix’s iconic moments, and the first of your own.

You two were certainly romantic, private and in public. On the occasion you’d post photos of the two of you together, and you were also open about it if you were to do lives together. You weren’t in every live, but he invited you once and it was fun, so you were open to other opportunities.

You kept your hood on, which hid your face a bit well enough on camera.

“Y/N, what are we making?”

“Rose tteokbokki.”

“If you don’t know already, my girlfriend is an amazing cook and she gives me food sometimes during some of my other lives.”

“Then Felix makes brownies after and it’s a full meal.”

He notices your amount of clothing, greater than his. “Why are you wearing your hoodie? Is it not warm?”

“I’m hiding myself, I’m scared.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of when you’re so pretty.”

“I cannot believe you’re flirting with me in front of over a hundred thousand people.”

“They deserve to know.”

His hand rests atop your head, his fingers gently gripping the hood. You let him take it off, fixing your hair right after. “Isn’t she pretty?” He shows you off to the camera before you hide your face in his chest.

You sat in an innocent little bubble tea shop, scrolling on your phone when you get a call from him unexpectedly. “Hello?” You greet, sipping on your drink. “Y/N, do you wanna come backstage after the concert? Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve last seen you.”

“Probably because it has. Can you really do that?”

“Chan’s parents and siblings are coming, and they’re going backstage, my sisters are coming too.”

“I mean, I’d like to, if it’s possible.”

He chuckles. “I’ll see you there.”

“Love you.”

There’s a brief pause, and you think about hanging up.

“Love you too.” He mutters, ending the call. It wasn’t very ‘professional’ of him to be calling his girlfriend when he should have been out there practicing, but he’s been kept from you long enough. He just couldn’t help himself.

And besides, he’d do anything for you.

As if it were a coincidence, it turned out you were sitting next to Hannah, who greeted you with a hug when she saw you sit down in the seat beside hers. Now you were sitting in your nosebleed seat, eagerly leaning forward to stare at the screen, the sudden random play dance coming on.

From your knowledge, a camera would focus on a certain fan in the audience, mostly in the further back, said fan having to follow one of the boy group’s dances. This would usually come on mid performance, meaning the members would be watching as well.

You’re so engaged staring at the screen, excited to see who’s on next that you don’t realize that it’s you. “Y/N!” Chan says, looking over at Felix. The choreography for God’s Menu begins to play as Hannah forces you up onto your feet, cheering you on.

You hand her your lightstick and place your bag down, forcing yourself to get over it and just do the dance for the few seconds you’re on screen. In your opinion, you did pretty well, judging from the screams that erupted from every inch of the room. You do the ending fairy, leaning against the railing again with a hand under your chin, sending a wink and a flying kiss across the arena. You immediately get shy, hiding your face in Hannah’s shoulder.

“Wow.” Felix starts, feeling Chan pat his back. “That’s my girlfriend, everyone.” He points in your direction, the arena flooded with screams as Felix’s ears and face slowly go red on the screen. You feel your own face heat up as you cover it, Hannah shaking you uncontrollably. “He’s blushing!” Han teases, pointing at your boyfriend’s crimson face. “C’mon, man, say something to her!” Chan says, ushering him closer to the edge of the stage.

“Y/N, I love you!” He holds a finger heart up, sending a flying kiss back to you. Your face goes warm at his bold move, yet you feel pride that he’s comfortable to do that openly in an arena full of his screaming fans. “Don’t cover your smile, you’re beautiful.” The screams somehow get even louder, and you feel as though a million eyes are on you as you wave your lightstick gleefully.

“Aww, so sweet!” Seungmin adds, poking at Felix’s open affection.

“Do you guys wanna know what Felix does? He scrolls through her photos sometimes before practice and he comes back all red. His excuse was that warm up was tough on him.” Chan exposes, though isn’t immediately stopped by his friend. You laugh at the thought, it being heartwarming at the same time.

You wait with Hannah, her parents, and Felix’s family after the concert, seeing Chan walk out first and greet his family, then you. “Felix ‘s coming, just grabbing something.” You nod, letting him reunite with his family for the time being. You smile at his feuding with his sister, feeling a tap on your shoulder.

Felix is standing right behind you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, and you practically jump into his arms. “Geez, I’m so sorry, I smell so bad.” His sweat makes your hands cling to him, yet when you look at his face, it made him all the more attractive. Still smelly, but somehow sexy at the same time. He had a towel on his shoulder, wiping his sweat off as best he could. He pulls away to greet his mom and his sisters, taking their pictures for them. You watched in awe how sweet their connection was and how close they were.

You overheard his mom talking to him before they left. “Treat her good, okay? You don’t want to lose her.” Your heart melts, now aware you’ve truly earned his mother’s approval. He walks over to you, stopping to simply admire you, his hand tucking your hair behind your ear.

“My god, you’re beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.” He mutters, the words making you blush and jump onto him for a long awaited kiss. One of those long, cheesy movie kisses was a way to describe it, but who cares if it was cheesy, you finally got to kiss him after months of being away from each other. “Loved your dance, by the way. When’d you get the time to learn that?”

“Circumstances. Figured it’d be best to be prepared.”

“You did fuckin’ amazing, then.” His hand covers his mouth, eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“You aren’t live anymore, it’s fine.”

“Still felt wrong.”

“Do you guys want me to take a picture of you?” Hannah appears out of nowhere, startling you. You nod, handing her your phone, posing for a couple pictures, feeling Felix’s hand on your hip the entire time. “Alright, now kiss!” Hannah says jokingly, Chan shoving her shoulder.

“Seriously–“ You get cut off by Felix’s lips on yours, smiling into the kiss. Hannah eagerly takes photos, even when he pulls away, simply staring into your eyes as if he could see a whole world behind them. “Can you post that?” He asks, his lips curling into a smirk.

“Am I allowed to?”

“I’m the one that asked.”

That was a yes.

When Hannah hands your phone back to you after scrolling through the photos, she says, “You know I was joking, right?” You huff with a smile, staring at the photo of the two of you kissing. “If Felix was given a chance to kiss me, he would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked.”

missed this goofball <3 love you always and forever, lixie (ps i love ur abs)

YALL R SO CUTE

AWWWW

i want this SO BAD you dont understand

that should be me

SHE IS SO PRETTY

tbh felix same id fold too

HAHAHA CAPTION IS SO REAL

“Have you been doing that for every show?” You ask, Felix running his fingers through your hair. “Doing what?” His eyes dart from your eyes to your lips and back. “Showing your abs. Lifting your shirt up and shit.”

He chuckles, his smile so pure talking about such a suggestive topic. “Yeah, why?”

“You’re telling me if I went to your Korea concert, I would have seen your abs there too?”

“You can see my abs anytime, Y/N.”

“I can?”

“You’re my girlfriend, of course you can.”

“Well, I don’t see you enough to see them that often but–“ When you turn back, his shirt is lifted up, showing them off in the middle of a Sydney sidewalk at an ungodly hour in the morning. You yank his shirt back down, Felix laughing almost too loud. “How indecent of you.”

“If indecent is what it takes to make your face like that, I’ll be it all the time.”

“Shut up.”

“You know you like it.”

“Maybe I do, so what?” You turn your face away from him, feeling his fingers rest under your chin to face you towards him again. “So… show me that you like it.”

“Felix, I am not having sex with you in the middle of the sidewalk at one in the morning.”

“So you’d have sex with me if we weren’t on the sidewalk?”

“I don’t think I can even have sex with you. At all.”

“Who’s stopping us?”

“Your fans. Your company.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“‘lix–“

“I know, I know. I’m just joking. Maybe when this whole idol thing is over.”

“It’ll be a while, then.”

“Hope you’re still in love with me by the time I’m 30.”

“I’ll always be in love with you, ‘lix.”

“Really?” He stops in front of you. “Really.”

“You promise?” He holds out his pinkie finger. You hook your own with his. “Promise.”

And he kisses you. Again, and again, and again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i wanna be where you are; feel so close though you’re so far, you’re my girl. 🎧

[napping-sapphic]

Hello! I have a Situation and its totally cool if you're not able to give advice but im looking for advice anyway bc im autistic and have no idea how to navigate romantic situations.

So ive had a friend since i was 12 her pronouns are she/they so i will be using both. Im now 20 and they're 21. I've known I like girls since i was 13. And shes pan.

So, in the past, ive had like fleeting thoughts of dating/kissing them but i usually just shake my head and think "nah i cant possibly want to date her bc they're my best friend, i just have very strong platonic feelings." Like Very Strong. Ive literally said that i will always compare my feelings for a future romantic partner with my feelings for her bc they're so strong.

So im honestly not sure if i would know if i was in love with someone unless it hit me in the face, and i am currently feeling like it has hit me in the face. I woke up at like 4 am last night from a dream just thinking "omygosh im in love with her" and ive been journaling and thinking all day ahout my feelings and im starting to think ive just been in strong denial/oblivious about my feelings. Both bc im autistic and have difficulty identifying emotions and bc im demiromantic and rarely experience romantic attraction so i dont have much experience with it.

I guess the point of this ask is about any advice you can give regarding knowing if i actually have romantic feelings and if i do,, like what do i do about it??? Should i tell them? We have a really strong friendship and i dont wanna make her uncomfortable. I think ill be okay not acting on my feelings but its been literally less than 24 hrs since realizing my feelings might be romantic and i dont know if it will be difficult to hide or what to do about it. They're also like my only close friend so i cant just ask her what to do like i would normally, which is why im asking you.

Again, i understand if you cant answer this bc its a pretty personal situation but i would appreciate any advice.

Thank you! :)

Ahh once again prefacing with the fact that I am really Not Qualified to give advice on most things😅 but I can give you my take as an outsider on the situation and with my (very limited experience) in case that might help you at all, but again really take all of this with a LARGE grain of salt i am a VERY unqualified stranger on the internet so most of what i say is probably nonsense😅

I feel like this is like my go to advice but I’d say just wait it out tbh, as someone who was in capital L love with their childhood best friend for a while it really just came down to time for me. It took a while for me to be sure whether the feelings were romantic or platonic for SURE. Especially since the platonic love stayed for me even when the romantic love began🤷‍♀️ it made it extra tricky to tell lol.

My ‘oh this is NOT just platonic’ realization came from YEARS of excessive thinking about them, WAY too much jealousy when they dated other people, a LOT of thoughts and urges about holding their hand, a lot of comparing them to people i had passing crushes on, and (i kid you not) an embarrassing amount of love poems teenage me wrote about them lol😅

However! The slow process and thinking it through also lead me to the conclusion that i did NOT want to date them. Being a couple just wouldn’t work for us and I value them so so so SO much as my best friend and really need them in my life as that separate, constant, platonic relationship that I deeply love and care for. It works better for us than any sort of dating could🤷‍♀️ not to mention all of our other clashing traits that just wouldn’t work if our relationship was romantic. And now I’m honestly really not romantically interested in them anymore, they’re just my best friend and always will be :)

I dont think it’s too unusual to fall a bit (or a lot) romantically in love with a best or close friend, I think the more important thing to recognize is whether it’s something worth acting on, that you’re willing to act on, and that will be good for both of you to act on

So I’d say ruminate on it! There’s no pressure to figure it out, if you start getting too preoccupied with it you can try talking it through with them, not even as a confession type thing, you can simply have a conversation letting them know you’re a little confused or wanting their opinion if you think they’ll be receptive to it. Best I can tell you is that there’s no clock on figuring it out, there’s no “right” way to define what type of love you feel, and to remember that either way you’ve got a great person in your life. I’m very sorry I can’t be more help and if anyone has any other advice feel free to leave it in the notes for this person! Good luck to you and I hope you find what you’re looking for soon <3!!

[molanobessivenerd]

my gender

This is gonna be a long rant abt my gender so you do have to read it. I just need to say it.

Ok so ive been question my gender/sexuality for like 3-4 years now and i this was kinda it

Oh i'm a bi girl -> im pan girl -> lesbian -> pan she/they still a girl but queerer

Then like i was more worried about trying to figure out my sexuality right cause like i wanted to be kissed before my 16th (that didn't happen) 

Then like maybe mid 2022 i started thinking about gender and i knew 2 trans people but i was kinda like no that can't be me flashforward to march 2023 i got in to will wood and i was like ‘no way i'm in anyway trans but if i could be him i would’ and i like said to myself that i just thought he was attractive?? Then the same thing happened with the character jesse st james from glee which was even weird because there was no way i would want to date him, so thats when she/they pronouns came in i put it in my bio. Then kids from my class found out and made fun of it so i changed em back to she/her. 

Then since like september last year it feels like minimum weekly i’d either not be able to stop thinking abt gender or take way too many ‘what's my gender quizzes’ 

And like i feel its alway been in the day of my head, but its becoming more prevalent since then ive been like could i be non binary, genderfluid pintrest boards. At the beginning of the year i cut my hair again, which felt so good,.

So now somedays im having thoughts like ‘oh my fucking god why cant i drink something and be a guy’ ‘please for fucks sake’ though im nor sure id like to be a man im not 100% sure im a girl (im moving further from that). But like if there was like a magical thing i could drink do idk that would turn every inch into like robert smith between 1983-2004 id do it so quickly omg. 

And like it kinda hurts that i'm not idk (and ive never felt this for any girl celebrities)

And i kinda think they are also there those thoughts but some days theyre less i thinks thats just cus im distracting myself though i dont know i could be fluid. 

But i dont want to be any guy like the men in my family most of them are big i cant think of a better word then buffheads more so my dad but i could just not want to be like them i dont have a good relationship 

I dont think i HATE being a girl- i don't love it i like some parts but i dont think its things exclusive to girls say cause gender norms n stuff. 

I dont know if i have dysphoria because that fluctuates but im vision impaired so if i dont try and look at my body i forget some of it exists i really dont like my boobs or how clothes sit on my body think i like okay with having a cups (that i could easly hide if i wanted to  i dont but that cause also be cause by the pain they cause me.

My waist i like but only because that's the part of my body thats skinnest like my body was less shapely but that skinny id be elated.

But especially o the days i think abt it more but also all the time i do wish for more masc features eg adams apple more angular face bigger hands etc etc.Voices of weird one because my voice is in mezzo soprano range my speaking voice however in chest voice is kinda low  but I was self-conscious about it growing up because it made me stand out in different even though really it wasn't I think I just thought people were staring at me for no reason.  I think I only like my voice when I'm singing when I'm acting because I can imagine myself playing characters who aren't me but idk but if it was lower like high baritone or tenor id be like so fucking happy.

And like i Kind of want to try dressing differently but I can't because a I don't want my family to know certain pieces of clothing would be mens Not that they have a problem with it I'm assuming they could though but they probably just want to talk about it and I would not but also like  I remember one time I was at the shop called Factorie  and I wanted to get the Black Parade t-shirt but it was a mens shirt  and my god the amount of anxiety I had and the amount of people that I felt were staring at me I almost had a panic attack. 

And like I feel like if I ever did do anything about gender irl  I'd run away from everyone I know and cut of connections again not because I feel like they'd be bad about it but just I've built this thing around myself so long and I don't think I could even my queer friends like i dont know  my parents I'd feel like I'd be letting them down, and like 

But also so much for my childhood makes sense

Like when I was about 8 I got eczema for the first time and my first thought was ‘oh im turning into a boy… shit what am I gonna tell my parents’  which I don't even know why my brain made that jump but i hated my boobs sometimes more then others Once they got past a certain size,  when I had a pixie cut and a couple people in the street would mistake me for a boy felt exposed ‘like shh don't tell’ 

But I was also such a girly todder/ child  from like ages four Tube8 I would pride myself on being the girlest girl never wearing pants  because I kind of think it was trying to win that competition but I don't know         

I don't think anybody read this whole thing but if you did help me out or don't I don't care but I just needed to vent this 

m

[drdemonprince]

hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

[aamethyst000]

What fckn even? (june 1, 24 - 5:12pm)

Duude. a lot has happend in a short amount of time. first off, Happy Pride Month! second, my childhood friend just moved back home like not even 4-5 months ago and we hung out like once with a group, and once alone. and in that time, i noticed he was odd and i had a little feeling it might have been about me. so ive been making it known that i am, in fact, gay af but that didnt seem to stick because (and i hesitate to even type this out) he still confessed to me. like??? to be fair, we dated once when we were teenagers and that was when i was still straight and cis. This is different now, i'm different now, and i know for damn sure that he is too. i even mentioned to him about my progress to legally change my name and gender. he said it was fine and that doesn't change anything but like, it DOES!!! i told him that if he still feels the same way, then maybe, you're POSSIBLY not as straight you may be? i mentioned that i did not want to force that onto him. cause if he never thought about it before or even looked at others that way, i dont think he has feelings for ME, as he says, he might still see the old me. which kinda bugs me, just a little bit though. This is what i was worried about too. if my attention on him was genuine, just from old habits as teenagers or i do have genuine feeling for him. i was trrying to figure it out when he moved back to his ex girlfriend. clearly, i didnt have it all figured out before he moved back home. i kept imagining myself dating him. the holding hands (this gave me the ick butterflies and a ick after taste in my mouth) kissing him and all thst shtick. i kept getting uncomfortable and it keeps reminding of my relationship of my last ex boyfriend. i didnt like it at all, so i am sure that is my answer to myself and him. i consider him my friend and goddammit i want to keep him around as a friend. i even said to myself, if it happens in the near future, it happens, but other than whats going on now, i dont see him in the same way. i may have to tell him as such too. i dont like it. it makes me nervous that i may lose him like that. which is kind of stupid if i do. i know thats how most of the men here are, im also aware that not all of them are like that. its just difficult to diffrentiate when most of them act aggressivly. anyway, i do not want to keep him waiting any longer than it needs to be. i told him it may take a couple of week because i have a hard time determinatiing my emotions properly. i have to know if its a trauma response or a genuine repsonse. it tends to be hard to tell.

12:23am - i even distract myself from thinking about it too much. i'm trying to get out of my head that if and when i do reject him, i'm not missing out on anything (no offense to him) it's just fears and the ugly voices in my head making me think i'll be alone for the rest of my life. like, so? i can adopt 2 cats, MAYBE a dog (a smol one) and keep up with my hobbies. there is nothing wrong with being alone, however, i am allowed to feel lonely. i keep trying to remind myself of that. i'm doing a lot of thinking with this one and i keep on coming to the same solution. i'm not interested in him, romantically. i just want him as a friend. Poor guy even remember the night we all gathered together for our "reunion class" we all got very fricken drunk and got stupid. i remember parts of it, up until we all head to my best friend's house to chill a bit. i feel so bad about that. it was the one time i let myself go too. not like we didnt do much, just hold hands and sat close. we didnt even kiss. HE EVEN APOLOGISED. i just hate rejecting people in general. not to mention hurting a persons feelers (i know, i am aggressively working on that issue, that kind of thinking go tme into trouble a lot). This whole situation got me so nervous, but im not going to change who i am as a person. i know for a fact that my personal issues and truamas are for me n my therapist to deal with. not for a relationship to magically fix. i dont even know if i am truely interested in being a relationship. i dont seem to miss it. sure, i may complain about it and say i want a girlfriend but the last time i did have a girlfriend, i ended up screwing that up by ghosting her. i know, dick move and so not cool. this was back in 2020 by the way but i still think about it. thinking about actually opening up and letting them see me for who i am makes me nervous as hell. not to mention the thought of sex makes me even more nervous. almost avoidant. its a lot to think about but i avoid thinking about it like the plaque. i just go day by day thinking about something else that is able to distract me. like leagally changing my name and gender. how much money i am saving and what not. anything to not think about me in relationships. just fckn nope. why the fuck is being an adult so goddamn difficult? lmao i hate it and i want to be 7 again, but at the same time, i so do not want to go back, my exsistential crisis was too much for lil me to handle at the time. i remember vividly how much that freaked me out! anyway, i get the feeling that tonight will be a long ass night again, i probably wont go to bed until 4-5am. and i keep on forgetting to take my damn medications too. no matter how much i try (ugh. i felt a sicking feeling in my belly when i wrote that), i have a reminder alert on my calandar, i tried to make it a habit to write it in my journal, and type it out here, but in my personal notes and i still dont take it on time or i miss nearly a week to a few days. its annoying, even for me.

june 28,24 4:31pm - this is me second time trying to fucking type this out. i am planning on tellling him that i do not have any romantic feelings for him. that i do not want to go out with him. not that there is anything wroong with him or me, i just dont want to be in a relationship with him because i am nervous that we both would be falling back to our old habits from our highschool years. im also even more nervous that he may not see me as who i really am, just as much im not seeing with the new and current him.. i dont like it at all. i even told him that i am getting top sugery and getting my name and sex change. he said it didnt matter, but it matters to me! im gay and very much iffy about men (personal trauma from a relaationship and father figure) and that is what i am going to tell him. not gonna lie though, im nercous to lose him as a friend. i just got him back this year, and it is fun to hang out with him. but if it happens, it happens i guess. this is the people pleasing issue that i am going through right now, as a teenager, i would have thought about it for a week then tell them that i have romantic feeling for them and then go out with them. those moments resulted from a game called "truth or dare" from my classmates. they really liked to use it as a dating game. A LOT. it actually got very annoying after a couple of months. it was awful in some months and others were just downright harrasing. anyway, i went on a tangent there, im just trying to get out of that people pleasing bs. old habits really die hard. i hope this goes well for the both of us, i wish the best for him and his children.have a good night/day, readers!~

[royallygray]

OOOH THE PERI RESPONDED :D

The Scott and Cleo getting married for tax benefits is firstly: just good? since Scott does Not want to be too close to anyone Not Chill abt villains so he's just straight up not dating.

it's actually really sad for Scott and Cleo when you look at it from an outside perspective of "damn, theyve altered their entire lives to fit Pearl's life" and... yeah. that is what it is. It's sort of a parallel/statement to people who break their backs to keep their parents or like bio family in their lives even though it restricts them from doing what they want. Also Scott and Cleo have thought over this several times. And while Scott and Pearl rejected the soulbond at like 18/19 (she's a year older than him), they've been adults for a while now and they have civil conversations. And Scott does stand for Pearl's major end goals, just not her ways of doing it.

But the issue between Scott and Pearl (I fucking LOVE thinking about their dynamic because it's so bloody complicated) is that Scott cares about Pearl, and Pearl does Not care about Scott. Other than keeping him alive (bc then she'll die), she doesn't give two shits about him. However, she trusts Scott. But Scott doesn't trust her, because why the fuck should he.

Like, yes, he hears all her thoughts, but he doesn't trust her in the sense that he is On Edge around her constantly. ALSO IVE ACCIDENTALLY DONE THAT BUT THAT'S PART OF MY HEADCANON FOR THE LIFE SERIES

Pearl trusts more people than she cares for. Scott cares for more people than he trusts. The amount of people Scott trusts are about on par with the amount that Pearl trusts.

I'm so fucking obsessed with them it rivals Joel and Etho. Or Joel and Joel. Speaking of I need to write that and make them kiss. they haven't kissed yet. Joel and Joel need to kiss. they're probably gonna make out courtesy of cc!GeminiTay but yeah

Anyways Scott and Cleo getting married for tax benefits is directly inspired by Tubbo and Ranboo in dsmp. But also there's no one else they'd rather be with. And no one else they could be with. And also they love each other to death.

I'm so proud of Evo Elementary. It's directly inspired by my elementary school, at least in vibes and size (while I was going). It's a very small school. Literally only Evo gang and some random filler mfers and also Lizzie went there.

It also got shut down immediately after Jimmy graduated. Because of cult activities. The Watchers. idk if I said that in the other one, but yeah. Essentially, they were getting taught by Watcher followers. Not the Watchers themselves, since those are like actual gods, but like. cult followers.

I GOTTA DO MY DUOLINGO BEFORE I FUCKING LOSE MY STREAK HOLD ON

right. I've done it. also I high-key wanna quit but I'm in too far now. bro. I'm almost at a year. I can't stop now. which means I can't ever stop because it'll take another year to get to here. like. anyways.

BACK TO STUFF

Also I STILL HAVENT WATCHED THE REST OF ASMP. EVEN THOUGH ITS FUCKING CRUCIAL TO GUQQIE'S CHARACTER WHICH IS LITERALLY IMPORTANT AS FUCK. BECAUSE IT'S ASMP!GUQQIE AND ASMP!AIMSEY. AND I JUST DON'T FUCKING KNOW THEIR STORY. BECAUSE. IM FUCKIN LAZY OR SMTH

or maybe I'm just not hyperfixated on watching content rn. like. I could watch Life, but I'm not--ooh that reminded me of the cereal. god I haven't had cereal in so long. I used to eat cereal every day for breakfast and then in Covid I got sick of it and broke my literal years long streak

hey like duolingo

eh

nah

Anyways the Life cereal is good but if it gets too soggy it's ass because the sugar pieces fall off and also it's literally mush.

also do you cereal and then milk or milk and then cereal. because cereal and then milk is the only correct answer. you can milk and then cereal if you have leftover milk from your first cereal but you must do it in that order. cereal, milk, then cereal. maybe more milk if you need it. cereal if you want more. keep circling. until you're full. om nom nom

anyways.

Jimmy is four years younger than the rest of the gang (Grian, Scott, Cleo, Mumbo, Lizzie) and five years younger than Pearl. I just didn't want to write him into EEP bc I'm lazy

Also he meets Tango when he goes to Hermit Academy. Tango's a year older. also it's not rude at all I'm very interested in your questions and it's all good and I love it :D

Well Pearl doesn't actually rob people, is the thing. She and Martyn (and Lizzie. And BEST+TIES. And Grian) have day jobs.

Pearl is a CEO. She is the boss, under the alias of Luna Syzygy. I forgot what the last name means. I think it's something about Eclipse or smth? it's something about the moon and sun bc skyblings. y'know.

Anyways Pearl runs this redstone electricity company (oddly fitting since she made the wordle. like I made her this WAYY before that happened.) and Bdubs, Impulse, Etho, Tango, Skizz, and Lizzie are all employed there.

Bdubs (idk if he does redstone) is employed because it also semi works as an architecture thing because they need an architect to understand how buildings work so that they can put the wiring in there. Sometimes Mumbo shows up, but mostly he sticks to his own thing. Pearl also does architecture, which is why she's the CEO. She also founded the company.

Did I mention that it's called Lunar Enterprises? Also the top floors are the order of operations for villainy, but like. it's literally just BESTIES' and Pearl's offices.

Lizzie's the front desk secretary. She likes chatting with people and also being a massive BITCH to whoever doesn't care enough to respect her.

Hold on I'ma make a list of jobs

Bdubs - architect of Lunar Enterprises

BigB - Hero (heroes get paid bc it's government funded blah blah blah)

Etho - redstoner of Lunar Enterprises

Gem - Hero

Grian - he's like a carpenter thing person

Scar - Hero

Impulse - redstone engineer of Lunar Enterprises

Martyn - works in some sort of customer service. or some type of supervisor at something. I really don't know

Lizzie - secretary of Lunar Enterprises

Mumbo - electrician but redstone. and also inventor

Pearl - CEO of Lunar Enterprises

Ren - Hero

Skizz - moral support of Lunar Enterprises, probably also a teacher or smth. BAND TEACHER. yep

Scott - surgeon

Joel - loves his wife. civil engineer and works to make roads and shit work

Jimmy - uhhh vibes. literally no idea. art coach. private art lessons. or maybe some sort of sports. but art. OMG FILM EDITING. yes

Tango - redstone engineer at Lunar Enterprises

Cleo - college (university for the Brits) professor

why are there no women in stem I've made a horrible mistake

actually Pearl is CEO which means she's a redstoner, redstone engineer, and also an architect. so I've helped myself out there.

Cleos a history prof btw. but is also just Good aka she knows science and math and just everything bc I said so

I would make Scott god awful at math courtesy to cc except he's a fucking surgeon

oh yeah Scott gets his soul back dw. it just takes it while Pearl's using it which is very very bad and it does actually slowly debilitate at his soul (def used that word wrong)

GOTTA EXTEND DUOLINGO BRB

okay I'm back and I've done more than extend Duolingo but we're back

it doesn't have... incredibly lasting effects? like Pearl taking Scotts soul power shit. but like. it's like a muscle. the more you use it, the faster it's used to it

the first time which is the one you did fanart for, it wasn't actually that bad. it took a lot, but it was pretty easy to regenerate.

But Pearl kept using Scott's soul as a backup and it regenerated less and less and Scott was anxious as hell because he needed to use his soul too. (it doesn't get used nearly as much when you're the one using your own soul, bc that's what it's built for. it's not built for over extension [which is what Scar doss--] but it's def built for you to use. 24/7, even, but you have to work up to that)

that's so unclear I'm so sorry

also I haven't read wof lol

i read the first book and then the first two chapters of the second bc all my friends were OBSESSED

And like other than the dragons. actually it was pretty cool it just wasn't really. my style ig? like the politics of it are actually interesting when I think about it and I- ah I didn't like the characters that much. hm.

being reflective as I've gotten older has been very interesting imo because it lets me figure out WHY I don't like stuff

like I used to not like onions "because they taste bad". and then I learned what texture was and I was like "they're an awful fucking texture and they should die" and I am right on that

anyways which dragon type (breed? idk seawing, Nightwing, mudwing, etc you literally know 100000x more than I do) do you think I would be and can I get a basic description of it? that'd be cool. also cool if you don't lol

I need to ask that hermit permit blog to do that that'd be cool.

like the ask would go "hi! can I have a permit that allows soul horizon!Cleo and Scott to brew potions? thanks!"

no but imagine. OH MY GOD

so bench trio (TommyInnit, Tubbo, and Ranboo, idk if you had a dsmp phase/hyperfixation/lifestyle/it doesn't fucking ever leave you) are Cleo's students. just imagine Tommy getting surgery for smth (let's say appendicitis because I dont wanna give him heart issues but anyways whatever) and then one day Cleo brings Scott to class and she's like "hi this is my husband we got married platonically we're soulmates"

and Tommy is literally exploding inside because what the fuck this guy has seen my inner organs

OH MY GOD NO I MADE THE "LITERALLY EXPLODING INSIDE" AFTER I DECIDED IT WAS APPENDICITIS AND I STILL DIDNT REALIZE THE IRONY LMAO NOO

anyways Scott isn't even a main character rip

he's barely fucking relevant to the main story rip

Lizzie is not 10 ft tall as Riptide but that would be funny as fuck. She does use Guise Magic (it's just magic but people wanted to call it something) (it's for disguises) to make her fairy wings look more webbed

Lizzie's a fairy fae. because fae is like a huge overarching creature that encompasses fuck all with pointed ears. (Scott is an elf fae, scar is a vex fae and an elf fae, idk who else)

Soulmates and not soulmates are both normal. it's pretty 50/50, except soulmates need two people, so it's actually more like 67/33

because it's around one non-soulmate person to each soulmate pair

which is not canon because we have seven soulmate pairs and four non-soulmate ppl in the Life series but whatever

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS PERIIIII

Psst Royal

Do you wanna rant about anymore soul horizon lore? I would like to hear about soul horizon lore if you wanna ramble :D

Also would you like to read the essay I wrote about llkau Pearl's psychological truama and manipulation from her mother?

yes I am always down to rant about soul horizon lore. also YES I WANT PEARLS PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA HEHEHEHEHEHEH

Anyways hello. I am normal sized again wow.

Okay so personally--FUCK I HAVE A MEGA STUPID ASSIGNMENT IM GONNA NEED TO DEAL WITH THAT IN SOME AMOUNT OF TIME--i have recently been obsessed with soul horizon divorcée quartet.

THEYRE. SO FUCKING SPECIAL TO ME. BECAUSE THEYRE LOSERS

OMG OMG I NEED TO EXPLAIN THE EEP

WE DONT CARE ABOUT THE EEP WE CARE ABOUT SCOTT AND CLEO AND PEARL AND MARTYN

Scott and Cleo are canonically married. why did I do this, you may ask? tax benefits. and they were living with each other anyways. and also idk how marriage licenses work but it makes the pay a whole lot like even-er because Scott's a doctor and Cleo's a teacher

Well they're a college professor. idk how much more college professors get paid and I am too lazy to google it

hold on actually

ok so according to the first results: 96k to 300k per year which makes the second result so fucking sad like. the second result is 30k-97k a year. like. rip

compared to high school teachers: 45k-100k per year. Jesus Christ. and then the second result is 38k-46k.

rip teachers honestly

AYY SCOTT IS LOADED. I THINK. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT COSTS I HAVE NO LIFE EXPERIENCE I AM A BLOB FLOATING IN THE WIND DESPERATELY CLINGING TO LIFE

330k-630k. Yahoo. scott has it good. he's a surgeon because... I said so. he's like a surgeon but also a doctor. I think. mostly a surgeon tho but I am going to call him a doctor for the rest of this because in my mind he wears the coats. like a lab person. with cyan hair

SO. WHERE DO WE ACTUALLY BEGIN WITH THE LORE.

Well. It starts in elementary school. I... don't actually have lore for Cleo and Scott for this part but I do for Pearl and Martyn! So Pearl and Martyn are the same age, and they went to Evolution Elementary and Middle. They're in the same building. People just call it Evo

Also Jimmy barely made it through that school bc the year after he graduated it got shut down bc it was hosting cult activities. hmmm. weird

All the Evo gang went to Evo Elementary. shocker. And Lizzie.

And then they graduated, and they went to Hermit High Academy. Which I love. All the Hermits are there, except for Joel and Skizz (THEY WEREN'T HERMITS WHEN THIS STARTED AND ID ALREADY DONE THIS BACKSTORY), Cleo (she was at EEP), Gem, and Scar.

Also EEP stands for Empires Education Program. I love the EEP. All Empires people went there.

The two significant years-

hold on hold on hold on. okay. so.

Year order. we need this

also my sibling once told me that I text like someone with ADHD and I cannot help but feel like that's relevant here.

hello it is now a completely different day and place (I'm at the kitchen table and it is midnight)

(It has been thirty minutes I'm in my bed again and I am going to fall asleep. I need to take my meds. I have now taken my meds. now if I wanted to I could just fall asleep. I'm gonna keep talking here.)

In the Empires Education Program (which is referred to by people who want to mock it and also the attendees of it as the eep. Others say Empires or E E P (separated letters)) there are two years of people attending that we care about.

Everyone that was in Empires or SOS, minus False, Pearl, Jimmy, and Gem is part of the EEP.

The secondary year we care about (the grade below) has Oli, Owen, Mog, Eloise, and a few others unnamed (prolly from Witchcraft) because I refuse to make this class smaller than Magic School Bus's.

Everyone (minus Pearl, Jimmy, and Gem) in Empires S1 is in the first year of EEP. The second year has everyone else (minus False) that was in Empires S2 and SOS.

The primary year we care about (the most plot relevant people are here) has Scott, Cleo, Lizzie, Joel, Shelby, Katherine, fWhip, Pix, Sausage, and Joey. You might notice that Cleo is in here, and they are not part of this group. Cleo is in here because I said so. Also I needed a place for her to be besties with Scott. And Cleo would be a great addition to this crew, just saying.

... genuinely it is a completely different day and I am in a separate building and I have no idea what my ultimatum here was

Anyways. Martyn is a vigilante, Pearl's a villain, Scott's a doctor, and Cleo's a professor.

The funny thing that I'm absolutely in love with is how they semi get along. but mostly don't.

see. Scott and Pearl had that whole scene where Pearl literally ran out of magic and started ripping it out of Scott's soul. Magic is part of your soul, so it comes from a similar place as your soulbond.

And so Scott and Pearl have a well justified rivalry. And also after they broke the soulbond -- OH I JUST REMEMBERED THE REALLY FUNNY SHIT -- they both became Worthy, Scott significantly earlier than Pearl.

I still gotta explain the Worthy thing dammit

Anyways the really funny shit is that normally, when you reject your soulbond, you essentially function exactly the same as a person without a soulbond except you've got a weird tattoo, and you will die at the same moment that they do.

EXCEPT the divorce quartet are part of the Eighteen (which irl are just the life series members), and this means that the rejection doesn't work. It works at first, and Pearl and Scott have silent minds for the first time ever, and then they hear the slight whisper of the other one's voice and just. they're suffering.

It's funny as fuck, imo, because I'm the sadist author that makes the characters suffer. hehe

essentially, the telepathy hurts more after they rejected it than before. And also they also have the normal consequence of "if the one dies, then the other one dies too" which normal soulmates don't have.

But because of the rejection not working, the four of them realized that they're Winners. And they all figure out that they're Winners because Pearl believes that Mortality mythology (aka life series canon events) is real.

And Martyn was like "hah Pearl you're crazy"

and Pearl straight up goes "Jimmy's the Canary"

and the three of them stare at Pearl

because EVERYONE has heard the legend of the canary. It doesn't fucking matter who you are.

And Cleo's straight up like "holy shit"

And Scott knew the entire time bc he shares a brain with Pearl except he semi didn't believe it but he knew that Pearl believed it

But now they figure out that Scott is the Stars (2nd winner), Pearl is the Moon (3rd winner), Martyn is Mars/water/The Tower (4th winner), and Cleo is Pluto/fire/Death (6th winner).

And then perhaps Grian just walks out of the house and is like what're y'all talking about.

And then Pearl just stares at him. because she remembers what his soulmark is.

It's the sun and the earth. which is the missing duo of winners.

and Pearl is like. Grian. You're a winner.

and Grian's like "wtf are you on"

"like of mortality mythology"

"wat"

Scott: so is he the sun or the earth

Pearl: probably the sun. have you seen that face

Grian: wtf

Martyn: welcome to divorce club, Grian

Pearl: Martyn stfu

Martyn: yeah I'm scared of you so I will actually do that

Also Martyn and Pearl are besties

also I gotta write the scene where they divorce bc it's actually rly cute. not like Scott&Pearl and Martyn&Cleo but like. Scott and Martyn are cute. And Pearl and Cleo are cute. And Cleo and Scott<3 and Martyn and Pearl are like besties. so.

yeah

they. them. they're the perfect combination of like. a lot of shit. because all of them are morally gray.

hey that's almost my name

My name is actually a play on the phrase "morally gray", fun fact

Since Pearl is literally a villain. Martyn is a more hero aligned vigilante. Scott and Cleo, while being civilians, do actively help Pearl by giving her potions and shit since she and Martyn can go to the Nether to get the ingredients, and Scott and Cleo have a permit to brew potions.

Like. Scott and Cleo are like passive and will not get outed in the grand scheme, but technically they break the law daily. And I love them so much for that. Like. They know WAYYY too much to be civilians. Not even JOEL knows as much, and he's the motherfucking husband of Riptide, who is the sister of Scarlet AND Sparrow. AND the Canary.

Anyways. Um. If you want to ask any clarifying questions, I would be more than happy to answer those.

This was rly incoherent and I'm sorry abt that but y'know :D

THANK YOU PERI @periwinklepaint FOR THE ASK :D :D

[erodasfishtacos]

Could you do a blurb of mlb!Harry and y/n doing an interview with a magazine and they talk about how they met, how he decided he wanted to play baseball professionally, being a father and mother and winning the championship

thought this was a cute idea

okay! ive gotten a ton of requests. im going to do it in an article format.

It’s for Times Magazine - he’s over the cover - with the title - A Legend Among Us.

Tom is the interviewer

—

Harry had welcomed me up to his house for the interview. A beautiful sprawling mansion nestled in the woods near a lake in New York - right outside the city where he played.

As soon as I walked in, the house was warm and felt like a well-lived in house. The baseball player had apologized for the small littering of dump trucks, barbies, and blocks that were left behind.

We sat down outside on the patio, it was cool, and Harry was dressed in a Yankees hoodie and Nike shorts - sponsored by them of course.

Harry was actually Nike’s biggest money making sponsor due to his merchandise and memorabilia with the company.

I could tell Harry was relaxed, a carefree smile on his face opposed to the scowl he had when he was on the mound.

There were toys scattered on their pristine green grass, a massive pool, jungle gym, and sandpit - a child’s dream.

Harry cracked a joke that the landscapers hate cutting their grass because of all the toys in the way.

Tom: Mr. Styles - a pleasure to sit down with you. I’m a bit starstruck if I’m honest.

Harry: [laughs] it’s no problem. Thanks for agreeing to come up here.

Tom: It’s a beautiful piece of property.

Harry: Yeah, I love it. My wife picked this house out and she has way better taste than me. She did good.

Tom: Let’s talk about her. How long have you been together?

A soft look appears on Styles face as soon as he starts speaking about her.

Harry: We’ve been together ten years, married for eight now - just celebrated our anniversary a month ago.

Tom: That’s impressive, especially for a sport man like yourself.

I realize that what I had said hadn’t sat right with the baseball player. His tone comes back much sharper with me.

Harry: I don’t need to be rewarded or praised because I’ve stayed loyal to my wife. Just because of my job doesn’t make me a scumbag.

Tom: I apologize. It’s just that you constantly have beautiful women chasing after you.

Harry: Okay? Have you seen the woman I’m married to? She’s fucking gorgeous. There’s a reason we have four kids, can’t keep my hands off her.

Tom: Four kids - three boys and a girl, right? Tell us their names and ages, maybe something about them, if you would.

Harry: Our oldest is Easton, he is six and a half, and is definitely is a little leader. He doesn’t take shit from anyone and bosses all his siblings around. He’s the most like me.

Tom: Is that good or bad?

Harry: [laughs] If you ask me, I’d say good. If you ask my wife, she would say no.

Tom: Then Cash?

Harry: Yeah, he’s four. He’s the comedian. He is such a free spirit, easy-going, and always being silly. He craves attention and always gets it.

Tom: He sounds like a good time.

Harry: He is. Then Ezra who is two and just a sweetheart. He’s sensitive, very caring, but also nervous like none of my other kids are.

Tom: Does that make it harder for you?

Harry: Not at all. I’m just really protective of him.

Tom: That doesn’t surprise me.

Harry: Then we have Briar. Our little girl, she’s about three months old right now. We’re still getting to know her but she is a carbon copy of her mama.

Tom: Interesting. All your boys look exactly like you.

Harry: It was amazing to see those boys come out looking like me. I am man enough to admit I sobbed when I saw how gorgeous she was like her mother.

Tom: Wrapped around your finger, huh?

Harry: Just like her mama. Completely whipped for them.

Tom: What’s the secret that you’re hiding for such a happy marriage?

Harry appears thoughtful for a moment, reaching to take a swig of his protein drink as I take the opportunity to sip the expensive tasting sparkling water he’d offered me.

Harry: She is always making me work for it. In the best way possible. I mean I’m constantly chasing after her. She still plays hard to get like she did before we started dating.

Tom: I think most people would assume it was the other way around.

Harry: YN is the best fucking wife. I mean incredible, honestly. She’s the best mama to our babies. It would be impossible for me to not being head of heels for her.

Tom: What’s it like being a father?

Harry: [laughs] It’s the best. I thought baseball was the best job out there but it isn’t. I love being a dad. I would have a full baseball team if the missus would let me.

Tom: I mean baseball is a pretty good gig, right? You are the highest-paid player in history. You have also broken a massive amount of records that people thought were impossible to beat.

Harry: [his smile becomes a bit cocky as he shrugs] As much as it will make people mad, it comes easy to me but I also work hard because I want to set a good example for my children.

*interview continues about baseball for a bit*

In the middle of a question about his favorite teams growing up, we are interrupted by their patio door opening and a child who looks exactly like Harry toddles over.

It had to be Ezra as Harry had told me the other two were at school. The two-year-old had obviously escaped his mother’s grasp as she is hurriedly rushing out after him.

YN apologizes with a exasperated laugh, a fresh baby tucked in a sling around her chest. Ezra gives me a unsure look before he’s crawling up his father until he’s settled in his lap.

Harry forgets the question, distracted as he helps his son get comfortable in his arms, and a hand coming to rub the boys back.

He is assuring his wife that Ezra is okay, motioning them over to give her a kiss before doing the same to his daughter’s forehead.

Harry: It’s about nap time for this one. [Harry nods down to his son who’s nuzzling into his chest]

I was hoping to get more from the baseball player but as soon as Ezra requests that his dad takes him for a nap - Harry is soothing and agreeing with his son.

He is soft with his son, voice turning into a hum that is vastly different from the rough rasp on the field as he curses out refs.

It was overall a great experience, to get a look into the life of Harry Styles. I was walked out with Harry toting a sleepy toddler on his hip.

I got in my car, observing the Porsche, Escalade, Range Rover, and Lamborghini truck that is a reminder of just how rich this man was.

And I can’t say I’ll ever forget interviewing the most talented sport player that we will ever see in our time and much more time to come.

[absolutelyfizzing]

hole-y

George x reader angst/fluff

description - Y/N and the Order head out to deliver Harry to the burrow on the night of his seventeenth birthday. Chaos ensues and when you reach the burrow, you couldn't be more thankful for your friends and family being safe.

warnings - minor talk of gore and injuries, death, general warning for george being an absolute angel. Fem pronouns and reader gets picked up

A/N - so this is the first time ive posted in like months i think which is a little crazy, im so sorry for the delay. This is something that i just really wanted to write, i will be posting some requested writings soon as well as hopefully some more writings outside of just harry potter and marvel. 

word count - about 3600

MASTERLIST

You were terrified. The feeling in the pit of your stomach made you want to cry but you pushed it down. There were bigger matters at hand. Bigger things to worry about. One of those things being the possibility of you never seeing your best friend or your boyfriend again. The thought made you shake and when you looked over at Fred and George you knew they were thinking the same thing.

You had been friends with the twins since as long as you could remember. Well actually, you had disliked them when you first met them, they were much too loud for you to get along with and they frustrated you to no end but you somehow had all of you classes and activities with them. They accidentally let loose a prank on you in your third year and you screamed at them before going up to the astronomy tower and crying. They followed you a few minutes later and apologized and sat with you until you stopped crying. Actually they stayed with you until they could make you laugh. From then on, you had a soft spot for the twins and the same happened to them.

You didn't know when you started to have romantic feelings for George, he always said that he started to feel something for you when he was in fifth year and you sneezed so hard you made a nearby owl fly away. You thought that was rather ridiculous but it made you blush all the same. You started dating in sixth year when Fred nearly shoved you two into a closet and told you he wouldn't let you out until you talked to each other about your feelings. Since then you had been the happiest you had ever been in your life and you were forever thankful to Fred who took 100% credit for your relationship. They were your family, all the Weasley's were. Now, looking at everyone you loved in a room, you felt worry rise in your throat. No, worry wasn't the right word. Terror.

George pulled you into his side and he kissed the top of your head deeply.

"I love you. You don't have to do this." He mumbled into your hair and you sighed.

"You know just as well as I do that we both have to do this. It's okay, I'll be with Moody. He won't let anything happen to me." You muttered and then turned so your face was pressed into his chest. "But I love you too." You whispered and a tear fell from your face and into George's shirt. You then pulled away and pulled Fred into a hug. He groaned dramatically.

"No, I'm hugging you. No complaining." You grumbled and he complied, his hand going around your back and smoothing out your hair. You knew he was looking at George, some sort of twin telepathy going between them but you didn't care. When you pulled away, both of them smiled gently at you. Then before you knew it, the polyjuice potion was being passed around. You gave one last look at George and drank the potion and he did as well. It was the worst tasting thing you'd consumed in a long time and as you were keeping yourself from throwing up at the taste you felt yourself get a bit taller. You looked to your side to see two more harry's. You smiled at them and began to change your clothes.

You had agreed to go as Harry with Moody, Mundungus would also be there as himself. You had decided to switch last minute. You all walked out of the house as the minutes ticked by waiting for Harry's protection charm to end. Eventually you all were off with one last longing glance at George.

The battle was one that would haunt you for the rest of your life. As soon as you left there were death eaters on you. All you could do was hold onto your broom for dear life, Moody on the broom behind you and Mundungus on a separate broom right next to you. Before you could think, there was green all around you and screaming from every direction. You just focussed on getting to the Weasley's, a route you knew by heart, and let Moody do the protecting. At some point you looked to your right and Mundungus was gone. When you looked to your left you were horrified to see the dark lord flying next to you. Tears came to your eyes at the realization that you would probably not be making it out of there. Moody quickly began sending spells his way but it was not an even fight. He held off Voldemort for an impressive amount of time but all good things end. You heard the killing curse and saw the green light and you expected it to hit you, you were the target. Somehow Moody got in front of you to stop you from getting hit and you screamed. When Moody's body fell from the broom, yours did too. You hit the ground with a thud and your body immediately screamed in pain. You looked to the side of you and saw Moody's body. Tears were falling from your face but the shock running through you prevented you from feeling whatever damage you took from the fall. You took a breath and gathered yourself. You needed to get out of here. You would have time to scream and grieve later if you made it out of this alive. The death eaters obviously thought you to be dead and Voldemort had fallen back for some reason. You feared it was because he realized you were not the real Harry. Your tears stopped, face hardened, and you stood with slight difficulty. You would have to get to the Weasley's and you prepared yourself to apparate. When you did, your aim had been a bit off. You were in the bog outside the burrow and you could see the light in the distance. There was a panic at the house and you realized that the others had all arrived. Despite the pain in your legs, you began to sprint to the burrow. You noticed that you were yourself again, your hair getting in your eyes as you ran.

"Y/N?" You heard Remus yell and you kept running. Someone pulled you into them and you looked up to see red hair. You had arrived at the burrow and the tears had begun as well.

"Fred, Moody is dead. Voldemort killed him. Mundungus disapparated right at the beginning, I don't know where he went. It was just me and Moody and then he just-"

"Shhh, hey you're safe now, it's gonna be okay." He muttered and you noticed the break in his voice. You suddenly realized that you didn't feel George near you. You pulled back quickly. "Living room" Fred stated and you headed in, Fred following behind you. When you saw George though, you were not filled with relief. In fact you were so filled with dread that you thought you might just throw up.

"Is he..." you whispered. You couldn't finish your question, dreading the answer.

"m' not dead" Came a whisper from the man you loved and tears began streaming down your face as you collapsed next to him and buried your face in his chest. Your breathing was rapid and your heart was racing. It only slowed when you felt a familiar hand brushing through your hair.

"Fred, I'm saintlike." you heard George whisper and you looked at him questioningly but he was looking across the room to his brother. Fred looked concerned and dropped down next to you, a hand going to your back.

"What's wrong with him? Is his mind affected?" Fred asked his mother worriedly. You were also looking to Molly for reassurance but she looked just as concerned as you.

"Saintlike. You see...I'm holy." George spoke again and all attention was on him. "Holey, Fred. D'you get it?" The relief that you felt was overwhelming and you laughed deeply before burying your face once again into the chest of the man you loved.

"Pathetic. Pathetic! With the whole world of ear related humor before you, you go for 'holey'?" Fred laughed with you, his voice cracking with emotion and the tears streaming down your face were now happy ones. You were so thankful that the man you loved was okay and unchanged besides the trauma he would likely carry. And of course that he only had one ear.

The rest of the night would go by in a blur. You were debriefed by Remus who tried to be as gentle as possible in his questioning. You did not leave George's side and neither did most of the Weasley's. However hours later you still hadn't moved or eaten, too scared to leave George. Enough time had passed that everyone told you George was out of the woods and most people had gone to bed. You couldn't leave though. Molly walked toward you, a plate full of food with her. George was asleep and you were staring at him fearfully, making sure that his chest was moving with life.

"You need to eat, dear." Molly whispered and you sniffed a bit.

"I cant." Was all you could say and she sat next to you.

"Well either you need to eat or I will wake George up so he can make you." At this you looked at her. She had unshed tears in her eyes and you suddenly tackled her in a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Molly." You whispered into her neck where she was holding you.

"What on earth are you sorry for?" She asked.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect him and that I wasn't here to help when he got here. I'm sorry I didn't convince him not to go. I'm sorry-"

"Hey, stop." She asserted and you did, pulling back to look at her. "Now you know why you went. George went for the same reason. You were both very brave and it could have been either of you who got hurt out there. Now you are both alive and okay and so are the rest of my children. I will be thankful for the rest of my life for that. But I still seem to have a kid who isn't taken care of and I need to make sure that she is. So will you please take a breath-" she paused to wait for you to take a deep breath, which you did, "and eat something. Or else I fear my son may have a heart attack when he wakes up. Okay?" she questioned and you sniffled and wiped your nose.

Making one last glance at the movement of George's chest before looking to Molly and nodding. She handed you the tray of food that instantly comforted you and she sat with you while you ate. You were both silent but you were thankful she was there to watch over George while you were distracted. When you were finished she took your plate and stood.

"Now I am going to get some rest. You should consider doing the same." She whispered and patted your hair. You watched her walk to her room and you looked back to the man in front of you.

You weren't sure how long you were sitting there but by the time you came out of your trance to a hand touching your face the fire was nearly out. You looked up at George and he looked sad.

"Are you okay, baby? Do you need anything?" You started to stand up, worried he was uncomfortable. He pulled you down on top of him on the couch and you squirmed, worried you would hurt him.

"Honey, I need you t' stop moving and let me hold you please." He sounded serious so you stopped trying to get off of him. Instead you sighed and moved to straddle his hips and then lay the rest of your body on top of him, your head going to his chest. "Thank you." he whispered. You lifted your head to look at him and he had tears in his eyes.

"Are you in pain, bubs?" you tried to be quiet so you wouldn't disturb the peace in the room.

"No. I'm just glad you're okay." He whispered and a tear fell. You reached up to brush it off and you smiled at him.

"Of course I am, you're the one who got hit by a spell." You reassured but he shook his head.

"You're right that I'm the one that got hit by a spell but Voldemort tried to kill you. You could have died tonight, Y/N." He seemed so sad but you didn't know how to comfort him. You hadn't really thought about it since you got to the burrow, too focused on George. You had yet to really process the fact that Moody had died to save you and without his sacrifice you would not be here with your boyfriend.

"I didn't though. I'm okay." You moved up a bit to kiss the cheek on the side furthest from his injury. "We are both okay." You put your head in his neck and sighed deeply. He took a deep breath into your hair and wrapped his arms around your back.

"We are never doing that again." He grumbled and you chuckled.

"Really? I was planning on taking some polyjuice tomorrow, maybe having another go at it." You smiled and he rolled his eyes.

"I thought I was supposed to be the comedian."

"Not when your last joke was 'holey'. Your comedian title has been revoked."

"Oh shut it, I'd just taken a curse to the head, give a guy a break." He smiled but you both stopped and the smiles dropped while remembering the reality of the situation. "How long have you been up watching me?" he asked gently and you sighed, preparing for your scolding.

"Probably 6 hours or so."

"SIX HOURS? You haven't slept since you got back? Darling you need to go to bed, why on earth did you stay up that long?" he practically screeched and you shushed him as best you could so he wouldn't wake the whole house. You didn't answer his question, instead looking at his chest. "Y/N why wont you sleep?" He asked again, this time more seriously. You felt tears come to your eyes.

"I couldn't-I had to-" you were cut off by your own tears.

"Hey, bubs, whats wrong? I'm sorry, didn't mean t' upset you, bunny." You shook your head at the thought that he had made you cry.

"I was just worried that-" You paused to take a breath, "I thought if I went to bed I might wake up and you wouldn't be..." You felt him shush into your hair. He hadn't really thought about it that way and he felt bad for keeping you up like that.

"Bunny, I am fine. I pinky promise." He pulled away to do just that. As your pinkies were interlocked he made decisive eye contact with you. "I promise nothing bad is gonna happen to me if you sleep, okay?" You nodded a bit and he leaned in to kiss you. "How about we both go to sleep and you can stay right on top of me so you can be with me if anything happens." He mumbles against your lips and you nodded again. He pulled you snuggly into him and put a hand on the back of your head to hold you there.

"I love you." You whispered into his chest, not even necessarily trying to get him to hear.

"I love you too, bunny. Now you need to shush and get some sleep." You huffed and finally settled into him. He couldn't sleep for much of the time you did, he could never admit it but he was quite scared as well. He shared your fears. He was worried he would wake up and you would no longer be with him. He got bits of sleep now and then but he couldn't sleep through the night. You stayed asleep on top of him until he saw the sun come up. He knew you were vaguely awake as your breathing wasn't as slow and you curled into him tighter.

"M' gonna get up to make us some tea, yeah?" You nodded slightly and he took that as an okay to get up. He picked you up gently and brought you to sit on the counter in the kitchen. His head didn't seem to hurt at all which surprised him a bit but he knew his mother was a gifted healer and she worked her magic on him to make sure he would feel okay the next day. He tried to step away from you to make some tea but you did not release him. Instead he was trapped standing in front of the counter, you clinging to him tightly. It was at that moment that the other twin decided to come into the kitchen.

"How's the hole?" He nudged George with his elbow and he chuckled.

"Not bad at all, don't even really have a headache." He muttered, still trying to be moderately quiet as you seemed to be in a half asleep state and he knew you needed all of the rest you could get.

"She doing okay?" Fred whispered, nodding toward you.

"Restless night." George replied and Fred nodded in understanding, moving to prep the tea for George seeing as he was trapped at the moment. When the tea was done, George rustled you awake slightly. "Would you like some tea, m'love?" You nodded and moved to sit up a bit, releasing George and catching Fred making gagging noises next to you.

"Oh shove off." You grumbled and he chuckled. You made a move to get off the counter and George grabbed your waist to assist you. As soon as you were on the ground you made your way over to Fred to hug him properly. You were just so relieved that your favorite people made it out of yesterday alive and Fred sighed and hugged back.

"Y/N, this is 3 hugs in 24 hours. I'm starting to worry about your head. There isn't a hole in it is there?" Fred questioned and you rolled your eyes. You lifted your head and turned it to look at the other twin across the kitchen who stood with tea in his hand, gazing at both of you with a calm and content look on his face. You smiled at him before releasing his brother who gave your hair a ruffle as you turned to look up at him.

"Thanks for being okay." You smiled at him and his gaze softened a bit.

"Right back at you."

The rest of the morning was spent drinking tea and talking, thankful just to be alive. As the family woke up there was more relieved exchanges without the shock and stress that had been present the night before. You rarely left George's side besides to let him get changed and have a private talk with his brother. Eventually Ginny dragged you away to get you cleaned up and changed into clothes that weren't covered in blood and grime. As you walked away the boys began to gather around George. Ron looked at the twins expectantly with a glint in his eye.

"Well? Show us then!" He got out a bit excitedly. Harry smiled as well and Bill seemed to have some jitters. George smirked before a ring appeared in his fingers. It was modest but it was all he could afford and he knew it wouldn't make a difference to you anyway. The boys all shoved each other in excitement and Fred clasped a hand on George's shoulder.

"I know you know this already but I just want to remind you that if you hurt her, all of us wouldn't hesitate to beat you to bits." He smiled but there was not so much humor behind his statement. The rest of the boys mumbled in agreement. George gave them all a look.

"Okay, first of all, I nearly died yesterday. I think you could all stand to be a bit nicer to me."

"We all did, get over yourself buddy." Bill joked and George rolled his eyes.

"Second of all, How come I'm the one getting threatened? I'm your brother."He looked around the group.

"'Cause she's the favorite, obviously." Ron stated simply before leaving the group, Harry and Bill following him, both giving George a teasing smile before they left.

"I think that was rather rude." George grumbled, though there was no malice behind it. He looked over at his twin who simply shrugged and patted him on the back.

"Just the way it is. If you two were to break up, I'm pretty sure she's the one who stays in the family." Fred winked before heading out of the room as well and George took a second to look at the ring in his hand. He heard footsteps and quickly shoved it into his pocket. You appeared in the doorway, hair matted down with water and in comfy clothes, fuzzy socks adorning your feet.

From the doorway you smiled at George who beamed back at you. You felt around in your pocket for a moment where your hands were shoved and when your hand hit the hidden ring there you let out a breath. You stared at each other for a moment, just content to be near each other without thinking about the war for a moment, warm light filling the room and calm in the air, both planning on later asking the other to spend the rest of your lives together.

[adorerdraco]

Good Enough ✧ Draco x Hufflepuff!Reader

Request: hiii i love your writing!! can you write about a sweet hufflepuff and how everyone thinks they aren’t a good pair together so one day Pansy bullies the reader into breaking it off with Draco because she feels like she’s not good enough for him then draco finds out and he’s really mad at Pansy?

Another seventh year AU where Voldermort never existed !

Warnings: bullying, slight angst, crying, cursing (barely), sad!draco, angry!draco, implied smut towards the end (also extra mean slytherins for the purpose of this imagine but i have nothing against them i <3 them as much as any other house)

Words: 4.5K

A/N: hiii thank youuuu 🥺💗 !!!!!! but ahhhh omg im a hufflepuff so i hope i delivered good hufflepuff energy in this oneee :’))) i think this might be my new favorite thing ive written omg but i do not own gif 

There was truly no explanation how you, a kind Hufflepuff, managed to become friends, let alone a couple, with the proud and arrogant Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. 

On the outside, your relationship to everyone seemed uncanny and plain wrong. Even your friends and housemates had looked down on it for a while but eventually came around and just let you be. You couldn’t say the same for the Slytherin’s, however, because if there was one house they disliked more than Gryffindor; it was Hufflepuff.

They berated you and Draco for weeks after they found out he had started a relationship with you. They scowled at you when you would walk by them sometimes calling you names depending on whether or not Draco was by your side. He always defended you and you did your best to ignore them, but they were relentless. You had only been dating for about a month now and the tantalizing comments from Slytherin’s and anyone else who wanted tear the two of you down were right now seeming endless.

“Why can’t people leave us alone,” you said sadly to him one night. You were lying with him in a patch of grass outside the castle, head against his chest as his hand lazily traced patterns onto your bicep.

“They’re only jealous,” he sneered quietly. “People get mad at what they can’t have or what they can't understand.”

Draco’s patience with people was worsening each and every day. His housemates, regularly, would corner him in the common room and interrogate him with questions that made him want to rip his hair out.

“Is this some sort of prank you haven’t told us about, Malfoy?”

“A Hufflepuff? Have you gone mad?”

“Is she blackmailing you with something, mate?”

“Haven’t you thought about how that makes us Slytherin’s look?”

“She’s a blood-traitor!”

The questioning would always lead to him yelling and threatening everyone aggressively before he locked himself in his Prefect dorm or would leave the common room altogether in a fury. Those were the days he would find you after he calmed down and would hug you tightly, pressing kisses all over your face as he praised you with everything he adored about you to how happy you made him and how perfect you were for him. 

You, on the other hand, were dealing with much worse. You never told Draco some of the awful things people would say to you when he wasn’t around. You would stand up for yourself very rarely, confrontation not really being your first approach to handling things but when the insults were bad enough, you were forced to.

You would always hear a variation of the same things said either directly to you or from obvious whispering, majority of them being from Slytherin and the occasional judgmental comment from others.

“Filthy Hufflepuff!”

“Can’t believe one of them is dating one of ours.”

“What does Malfoy even see in her?”

“You’d think someone who’s supposed to be kind wouldn’t want anything to do with such an arse.”

More than ever, Draco found himself giving you an excessive amount of compliments and reassurances that he thought would balance out the insults and criticisms you would tell him about or he would witness. Everything he would tell you was true, of course, but you always felt like he said them out of pity or like he had to.

“I appreciate you trying to make it better, but you don’t have to keep complimenting me, Dray.” You’ve said to him countless times.

And he would often respond with, “but I need you to know how I feel about you.”

Despite the constant uphill battle, your relationship with the platinum blond was everything you hoped for and more. Considering your friendship had started on rocky beginnings a year ago, you would have never thought you’d be with him now.  You couldn’t thank the stars more for when your aged and nearly blind owl had flown straight into the back of his head, pecking at him while he tried to swat it away which then led to him giving you a piece of his mind and trying to hex your owl - causing you to try to hex him just as McGonagall happened to be passing by the fiasco that landed both of you in a months-long detention for reckless magic usage. It was in detention when the two of you were forced to spend time together and realized that the other wasn’t as bad as they thought.

Draco, much like everyone else, always believed Hufflepuffs to be weak and cowardly, too kind for their own good - but he quickly learned how common of a misconception that was the longer he knew you. You always fought for what was morally right, defended those you love and are loyal to courageously, and were sweet and friendly with everyone you talked to whether you knew them or not.

He gravitated towards your kindness and empathetic approach to everything. He loved to see the smiles you put on people’s faces or the way animals would randomly come up to you and immediately trust you enough to give them gentle pets that they always leaned into. He even loved the way you talked to everyone as your equals, something he rarely saw in his environment. Everything you did was a vast difference to what he saw on the daily from his cold and aloof peers, but it was a difference he enjoyed. He wished so deeply that everyone could see and understand how amazing you were to him and he was determined to make it happen.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked shyly as he held your hand tightly in his, walking you slowly over to his large group of his closest Slytherin friends that were all gathered around a bench under a tree in the courtyard.

The Prince of Slytherin believed that if he could get his friends to at least tolerate you, then everyone else would follow in suit. He only associated himself with the best and most influential of his house so if there was anyone that could improve his current situation; it would be them. You were a little uneasy about his plan, but later agreed when he had convinced you that his idea couldn’t and wouldn’t fail.

“Of course it is!” He exclaimed encouragingly. “Plus, I’m Draco Malfoy, they’ll like anything I tell them to like.”

“Okay,” you sighed, rolling your eyes slightly at his boast.

The closer you got to them, the more you felt your hands begin to sweat and the heat crawling up your face. They all began to turn towards the two of you, their eyes focusing on you and you only with a pointed gaze. You started to realize how greatly you underestimated how intimidating they looked. Especially the one girl who made it her mission to bother you every chance she could get - always from afar while she pointed at you and whispered something into her friend’s ears while they laughed or when she would pass by you and say something rude under her breath.

“Look what Malfoy’s dragged in!” Pansy Parkinson called out with a malicious smirk on her face as she eyed you.

“Give it a rest, Pansy,” Blaise sighed, “If Malfoy wants us to meet his little friend then so be it.”

“Not my little friend, my girlfriend,” Draco corrected angrily as the two of you finally reached the group. “This is Y/N and I wanted you all to meet her since I plan on having her around for a long while, so you might as well get used to it.”

“Long while? Poor thing can’t even introduce herself,” Pansy laughed tauntingly.

“I think Draco introduced me just fine right now but if you want, I’ll do it again to make you feel better,” you smiled a big fake toothy grin at her. “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Everyone snickered at your response, watching for the girl’s reaction as her nostrils flared in irritation. Draco smiled to himself and gave your hand a quick squeeze, feeling proud that you found a way to talk back to her in the nicest way possible.

“Right, well, I’m sure you know this is; Goyle, Crabbe, Zabini, Pike, Flint, Nott, and...” Draco pointed to everyone, trailing off when he reached the only girl in the group, “I don’t think that one needs an introduction, she rather do it herself, right Parkinson?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, giving the blond a false squinty-eyed grin with attitude.

“So, you want us to be the nice to the Hufflepuff then?” Zabini questions, pointing a finger towards you.

“Yes, I want you to be nice to, Y/N,” Draco corrected again, his hand getting tighter in your grasp as he spoke. “That goes for all of you and everyone else in this bloody house. I don’t want to hear anything bad about her or us coming from anyone ever again or you’ll have me to answer to. I don’t care how friendly we are.”

“So he has to defend you too now?” Pansy spoke again, “Merlin, it’s a wonder how you Hufflepuff sort even survive in this world.”

Before anyone could say anything, you mustered up all the courage you had and stepped forward towards the irked girl in front of you.

“Listen, I don’t want any more trouble with you or anyone,” you rushed out. “I just want to go about my day without having to hear how disgusting and weak I am.”

She opened her mouth to retaliate but Blaise put a hand in front of her and pushed her back before she got any closer to you.

“Alright, we’ll try,” he answered for the group quickly in an annoyed tone, “but I can’t promise that for the rest of Slytherin. They really don’t like you guys together, thinks it makes them look bad. Eventually, they’ll get tired of it and move on to the next.”

“That’s as good as its gonna get,” Goyle guffawed, Crabbe and Pike snickering alongside him.

You sighed, looking up at Draco and slightly tugging at his hand while you silently begged him to take you out of there but he didn’t catch the hint and instead did the complete opposite when he had turned towards the only boy in the group who seemed to have brains.

“Zabini, can I talk to you really quick?” He asked gruffly. Blaise deeply sighed and nodded, the two boys breaking away from the group and stopping a few feet away before talking in angry hushed voices to each other.

You - all of a sudden felt very small and sick, your eyes frantically bouncing around the group as they watched you squirm. Pansy took this as her chance to step closer towards you, stopping a few inches away from you while a smirk made its way onto her face.

“Since you obviously don’t see the bigger picture, I’ll paint it for you,” she began contemptuously, “you and Draco really don’t belong together, at all. Sure, you might think everything’s fine right now, but what’ll happen when he gets tired of defending you and proving you to everyone. You think Hogwarts is your problem? Just wait until you meet the Malfoy’s. Do you really think his father would like or even tolerate a filthy blood traitor like you?”

You gaped at her, taking a few shaky steps away from her as her words hit you like a truck.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” she gets in your face again, her hand reaching up to grip your shoulder tightly to hold you in place. “He needs to be with someone of his status, a pure-blooded Slytherin who comes from a good wealthy family who holds all the same beliefs as the Malfoy’s. If I were you, I’d end it before you ruin his life any more than you already have and end up leaving him without a family or his inheritance.”

“Are you trying to say that ‘someone’ should be you?” You question through gritted teeth, shrugging your shoulder hard out of her clawed grasp.

“I never said that,” she smiles, “but who am I to say it shouldn’t be?” 

Pansy tauntingly walked away from you, a smug look on her face as she noticed just how obviously she had hurt you. You wanted to run away and cry, but you held it together for the sake of your last remaining dignity and so that you wouldn’t please your assailant even more than you already have.

Draco turned to stroll back towards the group with Blaise, his eyes landing on your shuddering figure and the broken look in your eyes as they met his. He looked around at the rest of the group who were talking amongst themselves, unknowing to them that Parkinson had just ripped a new one on you. She stood around them, looking at her nails with an uninterested look in her eyes and when she felt Draco’s eyes on her, she looked up and smiled at him innocently. 

‘Bitch,’ you thought.

He slowly walked towards you, taking your hand and deeply frowning when you immediately slipped it out of his.

“What’s wrong?” His voice dripped with concern, his sad gray’s searching your face for any answer as to why you were suddenly acting so cold.

“I need to talk to you,” you breathed out. “Alone.”

He nodded, instinctively reaching out for your hand only for you to reject it again. He felt queasy at the response, his heart falling to his stomach as you turned around and began walking away. His legs were moving hastily behind you, a dooming tension had fallen between the two of you and he couldn’t for the life of him find a reason why.

Pansy’s words were like a game of pinball on a constant loop in your mind. Your thoughts were bumping and flying haphazardly as you tried to make sense of them and what you were about to do. And as much as you hated to admit it - the wench was right. You would never be able to offer Draco and his family anything that would ever be close to enough. You were just a sweet, regular Hufflepuff, someone far from who his family expected to date. And what if you did end up staying with him? You figured you would end up breaking up years later when he would be forced to marry someone else. Or in the slight chance, he fought against that, there was no way you’d forgive yourself if he lost his family and his future because of your own selfish needs.

You stopped at an empty corridor, sitting at one of the windowsills you regularly sat at with the platinum blond when the two of you snuck out at night to meet each other. Your head fell into your hands, your thoughts raging louder in your head and now through your body as you began to unwillingly shake. The held back tears had finally broken out in a waterfall of sadness, frustration, and grief.

Draco only watched, his heartbreaking at the sight as he kneeled in front of you, his hands resting on your knees while he tried to figure out what to say.

“Darling, please tell me what’s gotten you like this,” he pleads sadly. “If it’s about what Blaise said, I made a deal with him so he would try and help.”

“No, it’s not that,” you answered, choking back the lump in a feeble attempt to try and get yourself calmed down enough to talk to him.

He sat back on his heels, his hand running down his face in distress as he racked through his brain for anything else that might have gotten you like this. He let you cry for a bit, feeling useless as he watched you go through an internal battle he had no clue about.

“Then what is it? Tell me and I’ll fix it,” he says softly when he saw your tears had finally been reduced to stray droplets on your face.

“You can’t,” you sniffle. Your hand weakly brushed over his paled slender fingers that were holding your knee gently. He turned his palm upwards for you and you placed your shaking hand in his while you basked in the final moments of his warmth. You regrettably slipped out of his grip before you spoke the words you couldn’t take back. “We can’t be together anymore.”

Draco blinked, his stomach dropping as soon as the words left your mouth. “What?”

You stood up, backing away from him as you shook your head. “Everyone was right - I’ll never be good enough for you, for your friends, for your family. You deserve to be with someone who makes your life easier, not harder.”

“Where did all this come from?” He asks incredulously, standing up from his spot on the floor as he painfully watched your slowly retreating figure. “It’s all rubbish is what it is. You’ve never made my life harder.”

“Draco, look around you!” You exasperated, your arms flailing around you. “You had to make a deal with your own friends for them to even be nice to me. Your house can’t stand me and they take it out on the both of us! And what about your parents? You know for a fact they would hate me, don’t even try and deny it.”

Pale hands ran through his hair, his fingers pulling at the platinum strands in frustration.

“I thought you didn’t care about all that,” he said woefully. “I thought you’d know by now none of it matters.”

“Well, I care now,” you answer back gloomily. “And you should too.”

There was a spinning and nauseating feeling in the pit of the Slytherin’s stomach, his heart violently jumping around in his chest as he let you storm away from him. 

He let his back fall against a pillar, a deep and burning exhale falling from his trembling lips while he stared at a live painting across from him. It was of three women, the chalices in their hands supposed to be joined in a toast above them while they smiled gleefully in celebration, 3 of Chalices, it read in the caption below the frame. Instead of being in their usual position, they stared at him with pity in their softly painted eyes as they slowly raised their cups towards him in a way of showing their condolences.

He nodded curtly at them before he kicked himself off the wall and dragged himself towards the Great Hall where they were serving dinner and where he would undoubtedly find his so-called friends. He prepared himself to break the news to them, knowing they would be over the moon about it and as much as he wanted to join them in their delight, he couldn’t push away the large ache that had settled itself in his chest.

“We’re done,” he muttered dreadfully to himself, “it’s over.”

He was testing out different ways he could tell everyone the long-awaited news but they all left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I think you’ll all be delighted to know, Y/N-” he tried again but he lost his train of thought when he spoke your name. It was like taking an invisible kick to his heart as if Peeves the Poltergeist had somehow crawled into his body and was wreaking his usual havoc on his insides. 

The second he stepped into the Great Hall and saw his group sitting there, eating and laughing amongst everyone else, he felt sick all over again. There was no way he could stomach the triumph they were about to unleash, but he sucked it up and drudged towards them anyway.

“You look ghastly,” Pansy snickers, already having a feeling as to why he looked so rough. He stopped at the bench, hesitating to sit down because he knew he’d want to dash the second everyone started to relentlessly bash you.

“Deal’s off, Zabini,” the blond spoke lowly. “I’m not with Y/L/N anymore so it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re better off without her, Malfoy,” Blaise said delightedly. “Can’t believe you nearly had us associating with a blood traitor. It’s better that she’s gone.”

“Yeah, we ought to thank Pansy for that,” Crabbe laughed loudly through a mouthful of food. Pansy kicked his shin under the table, and he recoiled too fast, the food in his mouth getting shot in the wrong direction as he started choking.

“Pansy?” Draco repeated, his eyes falling towards the shying girl. “What did Pansy do?”

“What?” Crabbe coughed roughly, “did no one else see her talking to the ickle Hufflepuff?”

Pansy kicked him again and he wailed out a “stop kicking me, you donkey!”

Any ounce of sadness Draco had in his body was immediately washed out in rage. He wanted to flip over the table and scream at everyone in his path, but he only turned towards Pansy again and asked her calmly.

“What did you say to her?”

“I only told her the truth!” She said coyly, holding her hands up in defense.

“What” his fist had slammed onto the table making everyone sitting near the contact jump in surprise, “did you say to her!”

“The truth! Or are you too blind to see it too?” She sneered at him. “Do you honestly think the two of you would last? Look at who you are, Draco!”

“Talk to me ever again and I swear I’ll hex you,” he spat, turning hot on his heel as he stormed out of the Great Hall, his friends staring at his retreating figure in shock at the outburst.

Draco found himself rushing through stairs and corridors, his heart racing as he searched for the place he just knew you’d be. Now that he knew the full story, he needed to talk to you. Even if you didn’t change your mind, he wanted to at least try to fix what had been broken. The tall and bronzed doors were ajar, a small light filtering through the dark corridor he was nearly running down. 

A mop of bright silver hair had peaked through the crack in the doors of the Hogwarts kitchen, worried gray eyes following in suit as they searched the room for its target. He found you hunched over a small dessert plate, a half-eaten cake being drenched in your tears that never seemed to stop. There was a house-elf next to you, looking up at you from the floor in concern while they patted your leg. 

“Mister!” a scraggly voice croaked out from below him. He looked down to find a rugged looking house-elf staring up at him with furrowed eyebrows and hands on its hips. “Students are prohibited in the kitchen.”

“There’s a student right there,” he pointed towards you.

“She’s an exception!” the elf exclaimed wildly.

Draco shook his head before walking past the small creature, power walking straight towards you while it ran behind him.

“Wait till Gonpy tells the Headmaster about this!” The elf calls, “Gonby asks your name, sir!””

“Vincent Crabbe,” Draco answers mindlessly as he continued walking towards the far end of the room that very closely resembled the Great Hall and its vastness.

The familiar accent rang through your ears, your glassy eyes shooting up in surprise when you see the reason for your tears hurrying towards you.

“Before you say anything, you need to listen to me,” he starts desperately once he reaches you. “I know it was Pansy who put those thoughts into your head. I know you think you’re not enough for me. And I know you think I was always complimenting you out of pity, but you couldn’t be more wrong about any of that. I say all those things to you because I mean it. You are everything to me. You are more than enough for me just by being you. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been and sometimes I wonder if I’m even good enough for you. But you need to understand how much I love you.”

“Draco,” you breathe, heart leaping in your chest at his rambling speech, “I love you too. But what about everyone else, how are we even supposed to be with each other in peace?”

“To hell with everyone else,” he responds quickly, walking around the edge of the table so that he was now only mere centimeters away from you. “Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes, of course,” you blink at him, “but do you really think your parents would let this happen?”

“We’ll deal with them when the time comes,” he mumbles, his hand finding its way to your puffy cheek where he let it rest. “Besides, my mother likes anything that makes me happy, so I know for a fact at least she will end up loving you just as much as I do.”

You nodded happily, a new hope bubbling in your stomach as you lurched towards him and hugged the stressed boy against you tightly. The both of you let out a breath of relief at the same time from the contact, finally feeling back in balance after the short-lived sorrow. 

He pulled away from you and leaned down into you, his lips capturing yours in a tender and passionate kiss. That was when the elves you had forgotten about had quickly stopped eavesdropping, scurrying themselves away from the table as they went to start cleaning up the kitchen. 

It was minutes before you had finally pulled away, looking dreamily into the happy gray’s that gazed back at you. You admired him for a couple seconds, feeling very content before you reached up towards him again, tangling your hands in his hair and pressing another kiss onto his now swollen lips. He moved needily against you, pushing your body flush the table as he held you tightly against him.

“Ahem,” a small voice uncomfortably called out from below. It was the same elf who had chased Draco down the kitchen when he walked in, a frown on his face as he stared at the two of you. “Gonpy and the house-elves make food here!”

“I’m sorry, Gonpy,” you hurriedly apologize, ripping yourself away from a ragged breathing Draco as you bent down to shake hands with the elf. “Thank you for making me cake and letting me cry here, you’re a Hogwarts hero.”

“Gonpy thanks you, Miss Y/L/N! The truest, kindest Hufflepuff!” 

Draco bit back a smile at the interaction. You stood up and reached your hand behind you for the Slytherin to take and as the two of you walked away, he yelled out a quick, “Thanks Gonpy!”

And once the two of you were near the exit, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and pressed his body against your back, lowering his mouth towards your ear and kissing the skin right below it before whispering, “do you want to go back to my dorm?”

You nodded eagerly, giggling loudly as the two of you stumbled out of the door underneath his hold and into the dimly lit corridor before pulling apart and racing towards the direction of the dungeons with his hand interlocked in yours.

[whosaskingwrites]

The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back. 

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song. 

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

[artsninspo]

Butterflies - IV

Butterflies - IV

MASTERLIST

“So, you’re never home, anymore” your bestie comments as you fluff your curls out.

“You know I’m busy and when I’m not I’m here talking with you” you laugh.

“And your swear that’s it? Are you still dating Gabriel?”

“Ummm hmm?”

“Seeing him tonight?” She pries.

“No not night brunch” you correct.

“Date number?”

“I don’t know?”

“Dang! So many you’ve lost count? How many times a week to you see him”

“Three” you admit and she screams. Your cheeks burn with a serious blush. These are the things you like to keep to the chest.

“So you like him”

“I don’t know…” Thats a lie you think to yourself "Yes” you admit. “But he has to be too good to be true” you groan closing your eyes.

“Have you had sex yet?”

“No”

“Maybe he’s small” she jests but that isn’t funny.

“Maybe, something to keep me grounded. It’s an icky but addictive feeling” you admit. “I feel like I’m losing brain cells cause all I want to do is be a giddy fool” you swallow and she laughs.

“Don’t overthink it, you deserve to be happy. Just enjoy your Prince Charming while it lasts”.

“Good advice” you agree finishing your eyeshadow and spraying your perfume. You’re out of the house and G is sitting outside on the hood of his car like a GQ model.

“Hey handsome” you smile  and he pulls you to him pecking your lips.

“Hey babe” he smiles letting you go and opening the door. The sun is bright and you cover your face.

“I forgot my shades” he takes his off instantly.

“You’re driving, I’ll be fine” you smile kissing his cheek and you end up at the brunch place. The food is amazing and G is attentive as always. He smiles as the waitress flirts with him amusing you.

“You have the whole staff a giggly teenage mess” you smile having another piece of fruit.

“We’re you like that?”

“I’ve always had pretty good self control. But I had my time to embarrass myself on behalf of a good time” you smile.

“You don’t have a jealous bone in your body do you?” He asks and it’s relief on his face.

“Us wanting to spend time with each other is our choice if that changes it changes I’m not good at coercion”

“Yeah right, you have the soft power” he says dropping twice the amount of breakfast on the table in cash. “Come on” he says and you end up in Saks. The sunglasses section he buys you everything you want without flinching at the completely indecent price tag.

“Why are you trying to butter me up?” You ask suspiciously sitting on his lap at the park where you spend time together on nice days.

“I’m going away for a week, so I’m trying to make up for lost time”

“Court for the kid?” You ask getting comfortable and he holds your hips adjusting your position with his big hands.

“Yeah, her mom wants to take her globetrotting” He’s annoyed. “Just to spite me, she knows work is busy so she’s testing what I care about more” he vents.

“Nothing to worry about. You don’t seem like you’re easy to pull the run around on” you smile.

“But, Izzy… social services said she needed a shrink and if you heard what the shrink says. Apparently she’s sad, she has emotional delays, trust issues. Babe, she’s only four” his words resonate and you rub his back before giving him a hug.

“Everything will be fine” you assure and he nods.

“Here’s my keys while I’m gone and some cash in case you need anything” he says reaching into his pockets.

“I don’t need your money”

“Take it, please” he urges.

“Fine” you put it in your purse and he smothers you in kisses.

“We’re official now, right?” He asks.

“What do you mean”

“Exclusive, you’re only seeing me. I’ve always only been seeing you.”

“I guess so” you shrug.

“I’ve been telling people I’m not single anymore” he admits.

“Interesting” you tease making him laugh.

“I’m not a coward or a cheater. You don’t have to worry. It’s getting hot out let’s go to your place” you stand and he follows taking your hand.

“I’m not a cheater or a coward either” he asserts. The ride home is full of casual conversation. And he has his fridge stocked with your fav wine when you arrive pouring you a glass before the two of you sit on the couch.

“I have a question” he says a little nervous.

“Go” you shrug putting the glass down. He swallows putting your legs across his.

“Are you a virgin or celibate and waiting for marriage?” He asks.

“How do you get there”

“Well, I know you’re attracted to me. But you don’t react like women have previously when I touch them or kiss them. I’m not comparing what I’ve done. Shit this is coming out all wrong. I guess you have a lot of self control and I was thinking it’s because you’ve never had sex” he swallows making you laugh.

“And if Im celibate is that a problem?” His face says how he feels about it instantly. Stressed.

“I need sex, I just do” he shrugs. “I’m not pressuring you I have my hand and respect your wishes. I’d rather it be with you than looking at a screen and jacking off but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do” he shrugs making you laugh.

“I’m not abstinent but I am a virgin” you admit and he looks stunned. “It’s really not tat deep. I’ve always just been focused on other things. I’d rather it not be terrible and with someone who can at least make it pleasurable, and take care of me. Everyone our age plays games and I take relationships more seriously” you shrug. He smiles.

“So you’ve just been breaking balls huh” he asks looking at the ceiling and chuckling a bit. Like he’s hit the jackpot. “I hope you know I can take care of you”.

“Are you experienced in that field?” You ask feeling oddly comfortable for the first time

“I’ve never slept with a virgin, having dated mostly older women” he explains. “But I’m a quick learner and you have nothing to worry about. Once it happens you’ll be all in and in love with me” he smiles.

“Don’t ruin your chances with that” you tease getting comfortable as he cuts on a movie.

“It’s a warning, I guarantee it” he asserts.

“Then I gotta be careful” you smile and he pulls your in closer. There’s no shortage of fireworks when he kisses you soft and then harder. But you can feel his heart beating just as fast. He pulls you in in closer kissing down your neck. His hands drift up your sides.

“Now I’m terrified” you pull away breathlessly.

“Just be ready when I get back, I’ll take care of you”

“Thanks for the presents today” you smile pecking his lips more harmlessly.

“A way to show you how I feel” he smiles kissing your cheek. “Stay the night, drive me to the airport in the morning”

“I don’t have nightclothes, my toiletries nothing”  you remind.

“Take the keys get what you need and come back. I’ll keep my hands to myself, promise” he crosses his heart.

“Drop me home I like my car better” you smile.

“What’s wrong with mine?” He asks.

“It’s you but it’s not me” you comment as he stands behind you already ready to go.

“Why don’t we just go get you some things you need then pick up your car so you don’t need to remember to bring things back and forth”

“You’re strange” you comment as he heads to the mall.

“I know what I want” he reminds.

He walks into the lingerie and sleepwear shop cool as a cucumber.

“What size?” He asks looking at an underwear display.

“XL” you comment looking for soaps and lotions. He rings everything up paying and holding your bag as you shop around getting necessities.

“You’re buying so much stuff, I’m Not Moving in”

“Well start with weekends” he ignores making

You laugh.

“I didn’t agree to any of that, just to tonight” you remind.

“One Step At a time” he reasons kissing your hand. His eyes are taken with a lingerie display in a boutique window.

“Like that?” You ask.

“Is it your style?” He asks. You smile taking his hand as you keep walking.

“So is that your thing? Dress up, shopping, you know?” You ask.

“It’s been over three months of dating. I figure unless I make a move I’ll be waiting forever”

“Well if it counts for anything I like that you aren’t rushing.”

“It’s Nice to be wanted for something other than my body for a change” he teases playfully.

_______

Tags:

@keiva1000 @damnitaa​ @ju5tp34chy @ljstraightnochaser​ @soufcakmistress​ @corajanejordonnn @soulfulbeauty19​ @twistedcharismaaa​ @l-auteuse​ @chaneajoyyy​ @cyntgefel01​ @itsjustyazz​ @damienwitcher @thotyana-in-this-hoe @aanairb @cocotheclown​

[all-things-mlqc]

Boys reaction to MC who never have date before meeting them. Like, the boys as MC's first love.

My first HC on here and I was memeing half the time while writing it. Included what the boys would do after hearing this news as well because why not. I’m not a Lucien fan but lord have mercy on my soul, I couldn’t help making his romantic af. He is the ideal boyfriend/date minus the l i e s that come in the MS and I hate it. All the crossed out stuff is just commentary because I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoy~ Thank you for your ask <3

How the MLQC boys react to being MC’s first love below the cut~

Victor:

Follows with some snarky comment after he calls her “Dummy”.

Let’s be real here, if he doesn’t call her dummy immediately, then something is wrong. Reminds me of when we streamed the first episode of MLQC and we were all yelling “CALL US BAKA” the second Victor came on screen.

While he seems cool and collected on the outside, you can hear the computer shutdown sound play on the inside.

To him, this is a shocking confession.

Victor: I’m not surprised a dummy like you hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.

Victor, internally: How has she never been in a serious relationship before??

He’s not very good at expressing himself honestly through his words but he truly admires MCs hardworking nature.

He finds that very attractive in a woman and is surprised that other men in the line of business haven’t taken their shot with her yet. it’s because they can feel your death stare on the back of their heads, kind sir

One thing he struggles with is being himself. He tries to act like everything is in his control all the time.

Because of this, upon hearing MCs confession, he invites her to a fancy dinner at his penthouse insert Victor’s Dazzling Date because THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. Jkjk haha... unless...

He wants to impress her as much as possible even though he knows deep down that she doesn’t care about what a person has and rather how they are as a person

BUT ALAS. The stress be real for her first boyfriend.

He wants her to know she made a good decision without verbally telling her out of his own bitch mouth I love you, please call me baka so he goes over the top with their first date.

Basically pulls a Mr. Krabs when taking Mrs. Puff on a date. Just add shades to Mr. Krabs to represent Victor’s “I’m calm. I’m chill. I’m all good. We vibin out here.”

All MC wants from him is his honest and genuine thoughts. and a lifetime stock of pudding because good god a girl has chocolate needs

MC eventually figures out Victor’s intentions with all the gifts he rains on her because hE dOesNt nEeD tHeM he can’t give her anything more than a cup of pudding up front

MC knows this and accepts the secret gifts with a smile.

She sends a gift in return to his office the following day along with a thank you for the wonderful date.

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of Victor’s heart rate slowing to the average persons.

Kiro:

insert pikachu meme

This boy is mind blown.

“How have you never been in a relationship before??? That can’t be true!”

Kiro sees the good in everyone, so hearing that MC has never been in a relationship before him is

He gives her a bright smile and playfully hugs her from behind.

The two of them laugh together as he whispers genuinely in her ear,

“I promise to make you happy. You won’t regret it.”

He immediately drags her off to Loveland’s Amusement Park, where they spend the whole day together.

Rides, snacks, games, you name it, they did it all.

Kiro naturally spoils MC without putting much thought to it.

It’s like a reflex for him. It’s just who he is as a person. Always wants to share the happiness in the world with the people he cares about.

As for how anxious he is after hearing the news about being MC’s first love, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.

Almost 100% of the time he has a smile on his face and even convinces himself that he’s not worried about it.

But he is.

It only hits him when he thinks about another man taking MC away from him after seeing her talking with another guy.

MC will catch him without his carefree smile at times and eventually confronts him about it.

He shows her a wide smile and says there’s nothing to worry about.

L I E S. BABIE LEMME HOLD YOU I PROMISE YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY.

After a few attempts of trying to get Kiro to open up about it, he gives in and says he’s worried he’s not good enough for her HAHAHHA, GOOD ONE KIRO

MC, however, turns it around on him

MC: I’m afraid IM the one who isn’t good enough for you.

They both smile and embrace each other, knowing they’ll get through any little concerns like this.

Gavin:

He knows.

We’re talking about the boy who has been in love with MC since high school; Who has protected her behind the scenes ever since he laid eyes on her.

He would know if she had been in a previous or current relationship.

It only comes as a shock when she says she’s never been interested in anyone else romantically before. Lies. Have you seen the other suitors, MC. In a world where guys are that hot, you must’ve had at least 1 crush, c’mon sis.

Gavin respected her personal boundaries and never looked into her personal affairs so he had very little knowledge of her views on other guys.

He gets a little bit nervous, since he believes her standards must be high if she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before.

Does the full on soldier oath, bend the knee cliche which includes “I promise to always protect you” and “Nobody will ever be good enough for you”

Mc: Gavin no...

Gavin: NOBODY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

Spoiler alert: You are waayyyyy too good for me, Gavin.

He doesn’t have too much anxiety over the thought of being MC’s first love though since he’s very good at staying true to himself and knows MC is one to admire that about others.

Gavin is a quiet guy in general. He’s more of an observer and watches MC to take note of what she enjoys.

When he sees her eyes shine bright after seeing a delicious dessert cafe, he offers to take her. He makes sure to express how he also wants to go since he knows she won’t accept unless he is interested as well.

Boy literally has no interests the moment he’s with MC. He is essentially that vine

Doesn’t even wait until the question is over and just “Absolutely. Let’s do it”

MC: But I haven’t even said anything yet...

He isn’t much different from how he is now. Has around the same amount of anxiety just from being in MCs presence.

Boy just wants to PROTECC and is always panicking on the inside but tries to remain calm.

He is very good at calming his anxiety though since he’s had so long to understand what MC values and knows she just loves people for themselves.

That’s all he needs.

Lucien:

His eyes widen slightly at MCs confession.

It’s nothing too mind blowing for him since he knows how refined MC is and how dedicated she is to her work.

It’s still surprising to him that nobody has tried to sweep her off her feet yet.

With how kind MC is, it would be hard for her to refuse a date with a gentleman.

Lucien gently presses a kiss to MCs hand upon hearing her confession.

Lucien: I am honored to be given the opportunity TO WOO to take such a beautiful lady out on a date~ AND MORE PLEASE

Lucien is the definition of a gentleman shhhh we aren’t speaking of current chapters in the main route Lucien. Cover your eyes. Pretend you do not see.

With little to no anxiety showing on his face after the reveal that he is MCs first love, he insists on taking her out to a nice restaurant the most classy and romantic 5 star restaurant Loveland City has to offer as a way to thank her for dealing with his bs (both his bullshit and black swan hahaha I’m so funny oml) being given the opportunity to treat her as a beautiful young lady should be treated.

He’s also more on the less anxious side of being MCs first love.

Lucien is a traditional man and does stuff by the book.

Because of this, he respects and likes the idea of being MCs first love.

He doesn’t go over the top yet isn’t cliche with dates and little actions.

He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Though he may struggle with being openly honest about his own thoughts and feelings, he tries his best to express himself for MC. a lot of the time he just assumes talking to her about his personal affairs would bring her down.

This, however, gets better overtime as they continue to date.

They spend a lovely evening at dinner together and take a midnight stroll through the city oh god city stroll PTSD

He gently wraps his jacket around her bare shoulders with a soft smile as he thanks her once again for believing in him believing he is worthy of her

Bonus:

Shaw:

Shaw, smirking: Is that so?

Oohhhhh you know what that smirk does to me. DOWN BOY D O W N.

He’s surprised but his reaction is very mutual.

His internal thoughts are more on the line of “Hmm I’m her first boyfriend, aye?” and “OYA OYA”

He very likely most definitely places his hand on the wall beside her head and leans in closely to get a reaction from her as he growls,

Shaw: So that means you really like me, yeah? I’m making this way too hot gdi. Shaw stans please enjoy your food

MC looks up to see that same playful smirk resting on his face.

highkey don’t know how to respond because Im just “ok think of 3 things she would probably say and go from there” while my brain just computer error sound

MC: and what about yourself? I’m sure there are tons of girls throwing themselves at you yet you choose me.

He pulls away and places his hands in his pockets with a chuckle.

Shaw: I’ve had my fair share before.

iVe HaD mY fAiR sHarE bEfoRe MY ASS

I’m convinced he’s had one time things with girls purely for information or he isn’t the least bit interested in relationships because he thrives on stimulation and entertainment and nOboDy iS gOoD eNouGh plus he literally asks what people do on dates when taking mc out in his first date in game SO

Either way, this is a LIE. The man can’t relationship for the life of him so he has no RIGHTS to tease her.

Just let him believe or you can try to tease him about it in hopes of getting a little pouty face out of him.

Honestly, their first date would just be the first date we got in the game and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Shaw is a wild child and doesn’t care for romantic dates. at least that’s what he wants you to think

A little insight on his character: He’s very blunt and easily pushes people away all the while keeping them close enough to gather intel. He doesn’t get emotionally attached to anyone and makes sure it’s mutual on both ends. Personal relationships only drag him down, especially in his line of work. He prioritizes other things before relationships which makes him so damn FRUSTRATING BUT I SWEAR I WILL CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A WALNUT JUST YOU WATCH ME.

With that being said, after actually being in a relationship with MC for a while and opening up about their personal lives more, Shaw can be very romantic. He may be awkward for a bit at first since he literally doesn’t know what a date is but he gets there eventually.

He’s still full of fun but is also very gentle and makes sure MC is enjoying herself.

I got sidetracked with the actual HC on this one but Shaw stans need food I NEED FOOD

[peakatseven]

random ask but im curious how do you ship haylor, kaylor and larry

ooh time to explain my hot take on this. sorry if it’s too long but... IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

first things first: these are real actual people who i dont know, but have adopted a very public life and to the extend of what they are willing to share with the public, i form my opinions. expeculations and theories... they can go a lil too far for me. i also think all of these are over, as the great taylor swift has said: the greatest loves of all time are over now.

haylor, to my knowledge, was the most publicly “confirmed” relationship. even though none of them have *actually* said the words “yes we have dated” or something like that. they kissed in public, went on real dates and have written amazing unspoken dialog that keeps on giving. the best thing about shipping haylor is that we dont actually want them to be back together we just want them to be friends who write songs together and COLLAB. can you imagine the impact of taylor fixing harry’s blouse as he teases her for bad nail polish???? the amount of power they would hold by simply standing in the same stage together... THE ROMANTICISM OF THEM BEING SOULMATES WHO NEVER GOT A REAL CHANCE

larry was actually confirmed by both boys way way back in the day, they probably did date but sadly, as the man louis himself said it, they were too young. do i think they are secretly married? no. does louis need to be freed? no. should we discuss the child? no. do i even ship them? no.

kaylor. ooh kaylor. they were the most public couple out there taking trips together, going on dates holding hands in public, spending the night at each others appartments... if karlie was a karl there wouldnt even be a discussion. that’s the most frustrating thing for me. the lyrics match real documented events that involve both ladies. yes karlie was dating a man and tay did date calvin years after meeting karlie. but there is simply no wat that they didnt at least explore their sexuality with each other and hopeless romantic poet taylor didnt draw massive amounts of inspo from that. but karlie turned out to be using taylor for her fame and had a really negative input in her mental state and backstabbed her in the worst possible way by doing business with sb and lets not talk the messy politics/personal life choices (at least that’s what i take from it).

so, in conclusion: bisexuality is a thing, straight people get confused about their sexuality too, secret marriagest aren’t a thing and good people sometimes make mistakes and cheat.

[doctorwhos]

bc u mentioned it... pls i need some good fics.... azcrow and tenrose are the softest ships

i have an ask with tenrose fic recs in my inbox as well so im gonna do azcrow ones here.. if thats okay.. i read a lot of tender fics bc im soft and emotional, and have always subjected my servers to them for approval of the painful tenderness. this turned out to be really fucking long and i didnt even realize so im gonna cut it off here, but if yall want more lmk !!

something to do with these sacred words by solshine

tender galore !!!!!! its an after-apocalypse fic, and has made me absolutely bonkers. the fucking. god the ending? its so good. its so soft. aziraphale is so fucking stupid.

the road to rapture has a lot of pit stops by emmagrant01

all im going to say is the berlin chapter sent me and like six others onto the floor howling. its so good. the hong kong chapter is really soft too. i love five + ones they drive me off the wall, especially when theyre done so fucking well... this one is done so well..

your old form just like a clinging vine by bearprince

dunking on crowley, the fic !! the harry meets sally watch cute fic weve all been waiting for. crowley is honestly so stupid, and its so endearing.

creatures of circumstance by attheborder

jewish human au ! jewish human au !! i love dunking on crowley !!!

lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix and wishwellingtons

i told myself i was allowed one solely horny rec on this list, and this one is it. ling actually gave me the link to this one, and i have NOT stopped thinking about it since. food porn is not something that i enjoy typically, but this one is just so fucking TENDER. soft top!aziraphale is so good and this absolutely drives me bonkers. if u wanna read a nsfw azcrow fic, read this one.

ordinary people by daegaer 

this is gonna be the odd one out on this list bc its both from 2003 and from livejournal but. this is my FAVORITE azcrow fic. ive literally read it like eighteen times. its a human au, where aziraphale (ezra) still owns the bookshop, but crowley (anthony) is a repairman and ezra goes to the same synagogue as tonys aunt. its a jewish au. theyre both jewish. like hardcore jewish. like ‘i dont look like a talmudic scholar’ joke jewish. its so good. i wish there was more but its from tWO THOUSAND AND THREE.

the deft, sweet gestures of your hand by deadgreeks

knitting as a metaphor !!!! scarf kisses !!!! i love projecting onto aziraphale !!! tender !!!!!!!!!!! this one had one of my friends actually start crying from tenderness, so take that as you will. the amount of poems quoted and how much it radiates mitski energy is so high and so good. please read this.

small infinities and all that by juststandinghere

this is THE human au!! well. turned human au. it is honestly my favorite modern azcrow fic to date. it has nsfw in it, but its so soft and tender im reccing it anyways. like yall. this fic had TWO gomens servers in an uproar. like straight up mutiny bc of how soft and tender it was. i have three different snapchats from friends of them crying while getting to a Specific Point in the fic.

an angel who did not so much fall in love but settle into it gradually by theladyzephyr

a short but a goodie. there isnt much more that i can say about this other than i love crowley, and hes so soft and so. so fucking stupid.

turn by kass

i know i only said one horny rec and this is gonna be a slightly controversial rec but im justifying it bc its jewish angel meta mixed with porn. i love gomens fics that use angel technicalities from the bible to bite azcrow in the ass, just because its funny to me, even if this one does it in a horny way.

how big the hourglass, how deep the sand by handful_of_silence

tender ! emo !! i love it !! they deserve that wedding !!

even without looking by maniacalmole

aziraphales an idiot and some really good meta on what love really is !!! a 6000 year long slowburn thats condensed to a like two and a half week span bc aziraphale is too nice but also too much of a bastard. its oh so very tender and oh so very good.

[fanficsrusz]

Family Reunion - Keanu Reeves Fluff

A/n: Anon requested this a while ago and i just got done with it so sorry for making you wait whoever you are 😘 its just a fluffy story so enjoy 👍

Summary: y/n takes her boyfriend, keanu, along to her family reunion.

________________

y/n climbed onto her suitcase as she struggled to close it. "come on close for god's sake" she mumbled to herself as she stretched across it, pulling at the zip.

"babe what are you doing?" y/n jumped, the voice scaring her and she fell to the floor with a thud. 

Keanu walked over to the bed casually, a cup of coffee in hand as y/n struggled to stand.

 "thanks for the help" she moaned and keanu just shrugged laughing. She began to slide the now closed suitcase onto the floor. 

"what are you packing for" keanu asked as he placed a hand into his pockets as he looked at the various items of clothing that were thrown all over the floor. 

Y/n turned to him slowly. "please tell me you're joking. For the love of God you better be joking" y/n stepped closer to him and keanu backed away, seeing the anger in y/n eyes. 

He thought for a moment and came up with nothing and just gave her a sheepish smile hoping that she would take mercy on him. 

"let me give you a clue my sweet boyfriend who I love dearly but is also extremely stupid sometimes" y/n spoke slowly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "it rhymes with ramily feunion" keanu dropped his mouth open as he suddenly remembered what y/n was packing for. 

"shit thats this week" keanu asked and y/n laughed sarcastically as she shook her head "its tomorrow. We leave tonight.

As much as she wanted to throw something at her forgetful boyfriend, she couldn't help but watch as he began to run around the bedroom as he gathered all the things he would need for the trip. 

Keanu suddenly stopped and rushed to y/ns side. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him. "i'm sorry i forgot. Do you mind helping me pack?". 

Y/n couldn't help but smile as she nodded her head "how could I resist someone as cute as you" she kissed his lips quickly before she moved over to his wardrobe, grabbing various items from inside. 

____

Keanu twiddled his thumbs as he looked out the cab window. Y/n placed her hand onto his, stopping his actions. 

"why are you nervous? They're going to love you. I promise" y/n offered him a small smile and keanu could barely even look at her. 

"this would be the first time meeting them y/n. What if they don't like me? What if they hate me? What if they dont think im good enough for you? What if-" y/n stopped his rambling with a kiss. 

Pulling away she held his face, forcing him to look at her.

"look i know my family. They're going to love you i promise and besides…" she sat back before continuing ".... I'm the one dating you not them so they don't really have a say in it do they". 

Keanu smiled as y/n settled his nerves, making them disappear with her truthful words.

They were only at bay for a little while longer though because they sooned pulled up outside y/n childhood home. 

Thanking the cab driver, the pair stood at the gate. 

Y/n grabbed keanus hand and gave it a squeeze as she reassured him. 

"you ready?" she asked and keanu shook his head. "is it too late to go home?" y/n laughed and began to drag him towards the door "come on" 

Before she could even ring the bell, the door swung open, revealing an older woman. She looked similar to y/n but somehow different. 

The woman threw her arms around y/n neck and began to kiss her face. 

"hi mum" y/n laughed as she just accepted the attack. 

"Oh, darling. It's been so long, ive misses you. You look so grown up" she held y/n at arms length as she took in her daughters appearance. 

That's when she noticed the tall, handsome man behind her daughter. Practically pushing y/n aside, she stepped forward and hugged keanu. 

"and you must be keanu, the man who has captured my daughters heart. You're so handsome" keanu gave an awkward smile. "you must be mrs y/l/n. Its nice to finally meet you. Youre just as beautiful as your daughter." she swooned as she turnt to y/n. 

"darling you've got a true gentlemen here and please call me mum sweetie." she gestured towards keanu. 

"come inside, everyone has been waiting for your arrival". 

The pair followed her inside and towards the living room and keanu felt scared at the amount of people in the room. 

Y/n screamed as she ran over to her sister, hugging her tightly. Keanu recognised her from when she stayed with them but everyone else was a mystery. 

He stood awkwardly at the doorway, not knowing what to do with himself and settled on just waiting for y/n yo return to his side. 

Two burly looking men soon walked over to him and keanu gulped. 

"oh so you're the boyfriend huh? im her father" one of them said sternly and keanu felt intimidated as he nodded before introducing himself. "yes. Hello, My name is keanu sir. It's nice to meet you" he stretched out his hand before quickly pulling it back when her dad didn't accept it. 

"aren't you a little old for y/n?" the other man piped up. This was an issue that keanu feared most. He rubbed his neck nervously. 

"would you two leave him alone. Dad he is only 15 years older than me. You're 17 years older than mum so what's the issue? And you uncle Steve, play nice" she leaned up to kiss each man on the cheek. 

"well we only want the best for you y/n" her dad said and y/n laughed as she moved over to keanu, grabbing onto his arm. "keanu is the best for me now if you don't mind, I want to introduce him to everyone else". 

She pulled him away before her dad and uncle could intimidate him anymore and keanu let out a sigh of relief. 

"don't worry about them two, they'll soon warm up to you. Now I want you to introduce you to my grandmother."

Y/n pulled keanu other to a frail old lady sat in an armchair. Y/n crouched next to her as she placed a hand onto her leg, grabbing the women's attention. 

"Nana, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend keanu" she moved to the side, giving keanu some space to crouch next to her. 

"hello, im keanu, it's nice to meet you". The old woman suddenly grabbed his face and squished his cheeks, causing y/n to giggle. 

"look at you. Aren't you a handsome boy. Y/n keep him by your side or I might just steal him from you" keanu gave an amused smile as he laughed at the old woman's joke. “Yes grandma. Come on keanu we have a lot of other people to meet"

y/n continued to introduce him to other various family members throughout the night and eventually everyone started to enjoy his company, laughing at the jokes and stories he told about his life.

At one point, even y/n's father found himself growing comfortable around him. 

At around 9pm, everyone sat around the dinner table, eating and talking about random subjects. y/n was too preoccupied talking to her sister that she didn't notice how her mum was questioning keanu. 

“So, have you two thought about marriage? Children?” keanu’s eyes went wide as he looked at y/n for an escape route. 

“Uhhh y/n?” she looked up at her boyfriend to see him looking like a lost puppy. “What?”

“I wanted to know if you two have thought about children yet?” y/n spat out her wine, causing everyone to turn to her as she abruptly stood from her seat. “Okay i think it's time that we went to bed. Keanu lets go.” she grabbed keanus hand as she began to walk up the stairs.

 “I love you all but you're all terrible” she called before disappearing out of sight, keanu giving a sheepish smile as he went. 

y/n walked down the halls of the house until she reached the last room. Keanu stared at the door covered with posters and smiled. Pushing open the door, he couldn't help but laugh at the room which was bright pink, fairy lights hung along the ceiling and the small objects that allowed him to glimpse into the life that y/n had before she met him. 

He picked up a picture frame and smiled as he looked at the picture of y/n with some friends. He could see that she was a lot younger in the picture but she still looked like his y/n. Placing it down he turned to y/n who just stared at him.

 “What?” she asked as she jumped onto the bed. Keanu followed and sat next to her as he continued to take in the room around him. “Nothing. Its just so weird to see this side of you.”

“Yeah well my mum just kept it the same after I left home. I kinda miss it you know, the ease of not having to work and just being able to do what I want when I want. No commitments” y/n sighed as she thought about her childhood and felt sad at the thought that she was now an adult. 

"well there are a few perks of being an adult" keanu rolled over as he hovered above y/n leaning down into her. Y/n smirked as she played coy "oh yeah? What's that then". Keanu moved his hand down to her pants as he moved to kiss her.

Their faces were millimetres away when the door was thrown open and y/n dad walked in, causing the pair to jump apart, keanu standing to attention without even thinking and her father blushed in embarrassment. 

"DAD! Learn to knock for christ sake" 

"sorry sweetie. It's just that your mum told me to ask you if you two could watch the kids for a few hours? A few of us wanted to go to the cinema for a late night show and we know that you don't really like that sort of thing?" he shifted awkwardly not really knowing where to look and y/n smiled. 

" sure dad. We can watch them" she stood as she placed a kiss on his cheek "we'll be down in a few minutes dad" 

"thank you sweetie. keanu" he gave an awkward smile towards him before leaving the room as quickly as he had entered. 

Turning back to keanu, y/n bursted into laughter "i feel like a teenage girl sneaking a guy into my room" y/n moved over to a small trunk at the end of her bed and pulled out a few books from inside. 

Keanu fell onto the bed in embarrassment. 

"I never want to look at your dad ever again" keanu threw his head back and y/n laughed dragging him out of the room. "don't be silly keanu" 

Pulling his hand, she lead him downstairs where all the adults stood in their jackets. 

Y/n's mum looked over at them and laughed as her father's face turned red and he looked away. 

"thank you for doing this sweetie. We shouldn't be more than a few hours" her mum walked over and kissed her on the cheek and gave keanu a small hug before the group left. 

Closing the door behind them, y/n turned to keanu "and just like that we're in charge. Lets go" she marched towards the living room where her niece and nephew sat. 

They had arrived only in the last hour and she was yet to see them. 

"Y/N!!!" both kids yelled when she came into view causing y/n to laugh. She crouched to their level and they rushed to her, giving her a tight hug. 

"oh wow you two are getting big. I can't believe you're 5 and 8? You're practically adults" she kissed them on their cheeks as they giggled at their aunt. 

"y/n i've missed you so much" her niece, Grace, said "oh well now i'm here. Has your big brother been looking after you?" the little girl nodded frantically and y/n laughed. 

Grace stepped back shyly as she looked at the man behind her aunt. Y/n noticed and smiled. 

"oh guys i would like you to meet keanu" y/n stepped aside so keanu came into view. He gave a small wave and smiled sweetly at the kids. 

"hi. Its nice to meet you" 

"you're so tall" the boy, Rick, said in awe causing y/n to giggle.

Keanu thought for a second before speaking "yeah well you can be tall as well if you eat all your vegetables" Rick gave keanu a strange look before laughing "yeah mum has already tried that on me, it's not going to work" keanu held his hands up defensively "right ok sorry" 

"ok stop bullying my boyfriend. You two need to go to bed. I'll read you a story if you want" y/n began to usher them up the stairs and towards their room where they got ready for bed. 

~

Peering around the corner of the kids room, keanu watched as y/n read a story to the children. Each child tucked under her arms fast asleep as she finished the book. He couldn't help but smile as he felt a flutter in his heart. 

Y/n looked up as keanu leaned on the door frame and motioned for him to help her up. 

Keanu walked over and gave her a hand, slowly helping her stand from the bed without disturbing the kids. 

"why were you staring" she whispered as she turned the light off and the pair made their way to their own room. Keanu smiled and pulled y/n to face him, placing his lips onto hers. The kiss was sweet and full of love. 

Y/n pulled back and laughed. 

"not that im complaining but what was that for?" she giggled wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"seeing you with grace and Rick made me realise how much of an awesome mum you would make. Maybe your mum is right. Maybe we should think about moving on in our life, settling down and having some kids" y/n stared at him for a second before a smile graced her lips "seriously?" she asked and keanu nodded happily. 

"well, let's talk about it properly when we get home ok" she leaned up to kiss his cheek before walking towards their bedroom. 

~

Y/n climbed into bed and keanu followed, pulling her flush against his body and y/n smirked facing him. "you know we could start to practice the process of making children" she drew circles on his chest and keanu smirked before kissing her on the forehead. 

"as much as I would love to do that, I'm not going to try anything else….. Your dad scares me. '' he whispered the last part as he remembered how her dad walked in on them before and Y/n laughed as she slapped his chest playfully "ok fine. goodnight you big baby" 

"night babe"

The end

______

Taglist

@gwenebear @celestiaelisia @blondieee-me