#the adhd has stopped my workouts before

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

So, I'm starting my Exercise Plan today. I don't know how to feel...

On the one side, my limbs are shaking, and I'm seeing stars (but, with my heart thing, that happens when I stand up sometimes). In addition, my stomach feels uneasy (probably due to the Crunches)

But, I also feel good. Not just physically (although I'm exhausted), but emotionally (and that could be in part because I was outside, in the sun & on the grass)

I have a few goals. I want to be healthier (and this will also include working on my diet, including trying to live the Word of Wisdom better), I want to get leaner (to improve my self image), I want to build my upper body strength (riding my bike miles a day for years has made my lower body pretty strong), I want my mental health to get better (exercise helps with depression, and getting my ADHD Energy out can't be bad), I want to get in shape for when I draw my first Deer Tag this year (it'll be easier than the Elk, but still), and I want to build up my endurance (in Gym, I was always winded by the Mile before lap one. But, I also always started with a sprint, but even when pacing myself, I was struggling to breathe by the end)

If anyone else wants to do this with me, here's the plan I'm using (I'm only putting Level 1 here for now. When I get up to Level 2, I'll reblog with that. Same with 3 & 4)

Schedule:

Day 1: Light cardio, followed by strength workout.

Day 2: Cardio.

Day 3: Rest

Day 4: Cardio.

Day 5: Light cardio, followed by strength workout.

Day 6: Cardio.

Day 7: Rest.

(Light cardio means either do the cardio workout one level down from your normal difficulty level, or do your normal difficulty level with less intensity.)

Cardio:

Level 1 (Beginner):

Walk at a brisk pace for at least thirty minutes.  Pick a pace that will be strenuous for you, without completely killing you, then just do that for half an hour or more.  Vary your inclines/terrain for added challenge.

Strength:

Level 1 (Beginner):

3×10=three sets of ten repetitions. Perform all exercises listed in order for one set, rest two minutes, then go again.

3×5-10 Chair assisted pullups(palms facing away)

3×5-10 Kneeling pushups

3×10-20 Bodyweight squats

3×10-20 Standing Lunges

3×10-20 Calf raises

3×10-25 Crunches

3×10-25 Leg lifts

[wosostories]

Workload (Gotham FC x Teen!Reader)

Gotham x Teen!Reader

Summary: 16 year old reader has signed with Gotham FC and is struggling to find balance between school and sport with finals and the NWSL Championship both quickly approaching.

You sigh as you close your laptop for the night, you mean morning. It was just after 2:00 when you finished your history essay, calc assignment, and studying for your chemistry test the next day. Plus on top of that, starting to find all of your materials for your upcoming exams. 

It’s not even that you were pushing it all off to the last minute. It’s just the course work that you get every night is impossible to get done that night on top of the training you have with Gotham FC and your ADHD. 

You would put off doing your school work to get more sleep if you could, but your school has told you multiple times that they would revoke your work permit if you didn’t keep your grades up and get all of your assignments in on time. 

You sigh again and finally head to bed to hopefully get a couple hours before morning lift. Your alarm goes off two and a half hours later and you drag yourself out of bed. It takes you half an hour to get ready and have your things together before Lynn picks you up for training. 

When you get in the car Kristi and Lynn are already pumped up and jamming to Lynn’s playlist. You let them continue on as you tuck yourself in the back seat and try not to fall back asleep. 

“You ok kid?” Lynn asks you turing the music down. “You look a little tired.”

“Ya, just didn’t get very much sleep last night. Had a lot of homework to get done after practice.” 

“You’ve been saying that a lot recently,” Krisite pipes in, “You sure you’re getting enough rest.”

“Ya it’s just that time of year. We're coming up on exams and the NWSL Championship.” 

“You can talk to coach. I'm sure he’d understand if you needed to miss a few practices.” They tried convincing you. 

“No, it's fine. Nothing I haven’t handled before.” You all arrive at the training facility just in time to get into the lifting room. 

“Alright let's get started.” They start with stretching and then pair up to go through their specialized lifting workout for the day. You end up with Jenna Nightswonger due to your similar workout needs. 

“Are you ok Y/N. You’ve been yawning for the last 30 minutes. Which has been the entire time we’ve been here.” 

“I’m fine. Just up a little later than I probably should have been getting my homework done.”

“If you’re sure.”

They finish the lift session another 30 minutes later and you leave the rest of your team to get to school on time. You are able to make your way through the day with a quick nap during lunch and eating while working on your revions during study hall. And as soon as the bell lets you out you are back on your way to the training facility for afternoon practice. 

Your movements are slow and sluggish throughout practice as you try to keep up with the quick movements of your teammates. During all of your breaks you have an assignment out and are slowly making your way through them. 

“Hey Y/N, come here for a second.” Ali calls you over with about 45 minutes left of practice. 

“Ya hold on just one sec.” You call back as you finish up the last math problem on the worksheet. As soon as you are done you jog over to the older player. “Ya what’s up?” 

“We're all just a little worried about you. You seem a little out of it today.”

“I’m fine,” you sigh out a little frustrated. “Will everyone stop asking me that?”

“Hey now, there’s no need for that. We're just trying to help.” You sigh again. 

“I know. It’s all just a lot. I think that it might be getting to me a little.”

“That’s ok. When's the last time you got a full night of sleep?” You look down knowing that you will answer if you look at her. “Alright grab your stuff.”

“W-what?”

“Grab your things, I’m going to take you home. Then you’re going to finish anything due tomorrow then go to sleep. And you aren’t going to be coming to practice tomorrow.”

“But the championships are…”

“Not starting until next week. There is still plenty of time. But if you get hurt then it won't matter.” 

You sigh. Ali leads you over to your things and you start packing them up as Ali goes to talk to coach. She comes back over with the ok from coach. “And he said if you show up to practice at any point tomorrow he will bench you for the first game of the tournament.”

You nod, “I won’t come tomorrow. I’ll get my work done and get a good night’s rest.” 

“Good and next time it gets too much, just let us know. You’re still just a kid. It’s our job to help you so let us.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

[scary-pixie]

November 1st = New Tina Year! (secret diary entry and upcoming goals)

I'm mainly writing this down so I don't slack off! Cause if I slack off I can look back on this and think, "wow, you failed terribly. dingus."

Ahem.

Anyways, I am in the process of thinking up some new short term goals now that:

2024 con season is over (with the exception of some smaller events)

Spooky Season is almost over (I like posting non-stop spooky stuff during this delightful time)

Twitter is going inside the toilet

Magazine troubles (more on this below)

I have met the famous man whose inspiration played a big role in both: a) getting back into drawing my old OCs after 15+ years (little round glasses are a bad influence), and b) getting brave enough to be on video after saying I would never do this for god knows how long. (secret: I watched a certain music video with one of his characters the morning before I made my own). BUT HE WILL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS AND I WILL NEVER TELL! I AM FULL OF CRINGE!!!

This is what I'm thinking at the moment, in terms of my next creative direction. I appreciate any thoughts or advice!!:

My OC art was an absolute flop in terms of gaining new social media followers. Bluesky seems to be a LITTLE bit better, but it's still early to tell and I haven't posted too many of my OCs there yet either. For the time being, though, I plan to get back to my Schoolism subscription assignments since I've been neglecting them for a bit!

good lord I need to flatten my stomach somehow, as I cannot fit into my preferred fashion choices. I quit watching TV for a while in the summer, which helped a bit (I tend to eat everything in the house while I watch), so I may try this again soon.

arm workouts are going alright I guess, I am gaining a bit of muscle in my armes so they do not look so much like noodles.

Tempted to get back into posting video game screenshots and mini-reviews on social media since people really liked this stuff, but I'm worried it might just add more to my plate.

I'm really enjoying doing videos now, I'm just not sure which direction to take them (or if I even should take them places). I tend to film a lot of myself and a long-time friend in the car just saying stupid shit, but I don't really want to post all of these.

I wish to read more books without falling asleep, jesus christ this is tough.

On a similar note: the magazine I used to write book and comic reviews for has SHUT DOWN GOD DAMN IT so maybe I'll write some new stuff here?? Not sure yet!

I need to get back to my Japanese studies!! I used to do them at lunch and dinner but now I get distracted by all the awful political shit online! Aaaaaaaa!! I really hope America doesn't combust in the next few days but I guess we'll find out soon...

Finally, I need to be more active HERE! It's the best place for longform writing and art that might be a bit too "cringe" for the general public. Let's see if I can stick to it!!

I think that's all I have to SAY for NOW. Wish me luck in sticking to my goals instead of spiralling into ADHD Twitter nonsense, aaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Tagging a couple frands: @prometheus-ghost @fadingdreamerdream @thewebspinner @autolykiss @draganwhorror

Also anyone who actually wants to watch my shitty ass videos, the link is below. I have a bunch more but haven't posted them! https://www.instagram.com/kittensoft39/reels/

[katboykirby]

Autistic Beel is very real to me personally, as an autistic person (special interest, not very expressionate, etc). I also very much agree with the Satan and Levi headcanons too.

Oh this is interesting because I don't think I've heard about an autistic! Beel HC before? Usually (in my experience anyway) it's autistic! Levi and very very occasionally autistic! Satan

Now, full disclosure that I'm not autistic myself, so any information I'm familiar with comes from research + the experiences of my irl partner, who got his autism diagnosis as an adult. (I do have ADHD and I know that there's some relation/overlap there, but I'd still trust the words and experiences of actual autistic people over my own)

And I can definitely see some aspects of autism in Beel! Like you said, he doesn't tend to show much of any particularly strong emotions, at least not openly or on the surface - he tends to keep a fairly flat expression (and his usual frown could be interpreted as the classic neurodivergent "resting bitch face" aha) and his voice clips reflect this as well - he's definitely not as affective as say, Mammon or Asmo! Beel is a lot more quiet than his brothers, on average. He's not really very emotive or expressive outside of specific or extreme situations. Although, I don't tend to go for the romantic options with him or read his personal Devilgram stories all that often (since I'm a Satanfucker) but I'm aware that he's usually more emotive in romantic moments with MC, or when things get tense/dramatic with his family.

Speaking of which, something that we do occasionally see is Beel losing his temper and becoming very angry - to the point that he loses control of himself and goes on rampages. The most significant examples of this in the main story would be Lessons 4 and 5 of the original game, when he flies into a rage over some custard and ends up destroying half of MC's room; and the whole plotline in Nightbringer revolving around Beel's rampage at the royal castle that almost resulted in Diavolo having to lock him up because of how much destruction he caused. I know that "autism rage" is pretty negatively stereotyped (unfairly so, in my opinion) but anger is definitely a real struggle for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders

The whole food thing is definitely interesting in this context as well (and I assume this is what you meant by "special interest?" Lmk if I'm wrong) because Beel is the complete opposite of the common autism stereotypes when it comes to food! We often see the idea of autistic individuals having a very limited scope of foods that they actually enjoy, because things like texture, flavour, and sensation are all very different and experienced in a different way than neurotypicals. Autistic individuals are stereotyped as "picky eaters" because it's common for them to have very specific "safe foods" and/or not enjoy very many exotic or strong flavours. Beel definitely does not have a problem with this, lmao. And we know that his love/obsession with all foods isn't something that came about just when he was made the Avatar of Gluttony, since he was a big food lover as an angel as well (though his eating habits, admittedly, weren't as extreme back then.) Interestingly, a lot of research shows that people with autism are more likely to struggle with binge eating disorder, which has some intriguing implications for Beelzebub 👀

It's entirely possible that exercise & working out and/or sports like Fangol could be special interests for him as well! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Beel has mentioned or alluded to feeling restless if he doesn't get at least one workout in every day, like he doesn't feel that his day is "complete" if he hasn't done his exercise routines. This could suggest that he experiences the common autism symptoms around adherence to routines and inflexibility when it comes to changing up his usual habits and activities 🤔

This reply has actually become pretty long, so I'll just stop myself here before I get carried away even further 😅

Overall, I think that there's definitely merit to autistic! Beel HCs, and I'm sure that people who are actually autistic and/or are big fans of Beel himself (and who would have read far more of his in-game content than I have, like his Devilgrams) would be able to go into even more detail than I have!

[changingplumbob]

Pancakes Household: Chapter 9, Part 3

Battle of the century or kids playing console games...

CW: Unicorn zombie with minor carton gore

Carson: You don’t think this will be too physically taxing do you

Artemisia: Only for losers

Onyx: Don’t worry Carson, there’s no exercise required

Fergus: I dibs the green car

Onyx: Is everyone ready

Artemisia: Oh would you just press start already

Onyx: First round goes to me!

Artemisia: That’s ridiculous, you must have given me the broken controller

Carson: Or you’ve been practicing, I get to pick next track. Strawberry Fields!

Fergus: Oh no I hate that one, I always get stuck in the strawberry jam

Onyx: Just follow along behind me Fergus and you’ll see a clear path okay

Fergus: Thank you Onyx

Artemisia: I always think it’s so funny how well-mannered you are

Carson: I would have thought you’d find that annoying

Artemisia: Nope, it helps us get out of trouble

Onyx: So see here Fergus, if you go between these two flowers there’s the fast launch ramp

Fergus: And no strawberry jam sinkhole!

Artemisia: Hold on, you’re not entitled to win

Fergus: Just try and stop me Emi

Carson: Come on Artemisia, let’s wipe the track with them

Onyx: Team Pancakes!!!

Kayleigh: I like to hear them play, the house is so quiet with just Carson now

Eliza: Bob and I have been thinking of trying for another one after Fergus becomes a teen. Bob would love a daughter

Kayleigh: And how about you

Eliza: Well I’ve never loved being pregnant but a third kid would be nice

Kayleigh: Sweetie I don’t mean to sound indelicate but have you considered adoption

Eliza: Adoption? Is that legal when I can get pregnant?

Kayleigh: It’s the 21st century, just because you can have them doesn’t mean you need to. Not that I can talk, I had four

Eliza: I suppose that way I would avoid the pregnancy impacting on my work

Kayleigh: And if Bob wants a girl you can tell the agency that, but you can’t tell your uterus that

Eliza: *chuckles* Good point, I’ll think about it. Oh, would you excuse me? The markets just opened in Tomarang

Kayleigh: Go ahead, you’ll not beat me at this chess match anyway

Eliza: Thanks for helping me learn more

Kayleigh: No problem, I’ll collect my husband and get out of your hair. Night

Kayleigh: Come on Carson, time to go

Carson: Just let us finish this last race mum

Artemisia: Oh it’s finished and I’m victorious

Fergus: Thanks again for helping me Onyx, I had a lot of fun. See you for my birthday Emi?

Artemisia: Sure thing, Tuesday right

Fergus nods excitedly and the dinner party disperses.

Happy very cloudy Halloween! The Pancakes decide not to have a party since they had one last night and Bob will need to work tonight. After a quick breakfast the household splits up as everyone has their own tasks to do this morning.

Bob of course wants to get his work out in before shift. Fergus is in a patch of hyper focus with his ADHD and decides to play mad scientist in the treehouse. Eliza decides to do a dance workout since she cleaned everything yesterday and finally Onyx is set to walk Ginger again.

Eliza is dancing away when she pulls a muscle in her back.

Eliza: Ouch! Oh, maybe an adoption is a good idea, I will be a 40 soon

Thinking on this she carries on, working on her other muscles. Outside it’s hard for Onyx and Ginger to make out where they’re running but the pair do their best. Ginger isn’t sure why her dad isn’t taking her for these jogs but supposes Onyx is an alright substitute.

Onyx: I’m back home dad, Ginger is all walked

Bob: *grunts with effort* Did you tell your mother

Onyx: No, she’s busy practicing speech and I didn’t want to disturb her

Bob: Smart choice

Onyx begins their cheer routine, they still have some more solo practice to fit in. All is going well until they fall over on their face. They push up looking around but Bob is busy working his legs and hasn’t noticed. To celebrate Onyx pulls off a perfect flip!

Previous ... Next

[ali3nboyfriend]

since art warmups are both a creative exercise to get you in the correct mood for art and a physical preparation of your muscles so you don’t hurt them (think like an athlete stretching before a proper workout):

1) it’s never a bad idea to have a dumb, silly side-project you can “get the bad writing out” with. it primes your brain to be in the right mood for your actual project and lets you spit out whatever comes to mind so that when you start on your main project, you’re already primed and in a good flow.

(you do run into the risk of getting very attached to this project and making it your main one)

there are also speed-writing exercises that accomplish similar things. just googling, i’ve found this post full of writing warmups:

if your problem however is a matter of executive dysfunction, find a routine that works for you, execute it the EXACT SAME WAY every time, and don’t be afraid to pivot away from it if it stops working, because if you try and cling to it it will take longer to rebound from the burnout. a routine works in a similar way, priming your brain for the task so once you start it you’re already in a good flow. the side-project, if you make one, can be part of this routine, as can warmups like the ones i linked.

i can’t rec StimuWrite 2 enough as a good distraction-free writing app that helps keep ADHD and other neurodivergent brains on task. even if you aren’t (or don’t think you are) neurodivergent i’d suggest trying it out. it has different typing sounds, backgrounds, and fonts that help keep your brain stimulated while writing; understimulation is a major reason why neurodivergent brains can struggle so hard with it. i actually have a hard time writing without the typewriter sound it has now.

i usually use this full screen on one window with the fireplace sounds going + a video game music mix on another window, also full screen unless i need to be referencing something. my go-to mix is Calming Destiny 2 Music Up To Lightfall. video game music is specifically made to make you focus on what’s in front you and it’s been a huge crutch for me when it comes to writing for that reason

2) physically, i’d look into ergonomics irt how you should be sitting while at a keyboard, if a standing desk would be good for you, what sort of chair to use, whether or not to get a pad for your wrists in front of your keyboard, etc. writing is a very sedentary task, true, but you’re still using your body and it’s important to take care of it. the same sort of tips and tricks you can find for office workers can be very helpful in general.

look away from your screen and focus on something far away every 20 minutes, and get up to stretch at least once an hour.

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

[emmaelt]

Refrain, Medicate, Create

I keep comparing this past year of my life to Liz Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, without the luxury of travel. I've had three distinct sections of my life converge to become my focus, and it's been pretty life changing.

I've put more details on each thing below the fold for further context, but essentially: I've developed histamine intolerance which drastically restricts what I can eat, so I have to refrain from many different foods; I've been diagnosed with AuDHD and started ADHD medication; and I've started creative writing and songwriting again.

These 3 things seem completely unrelated at first glance, but they all are intrinsically linked, at least for me. Neurodiverse people are way more likely to have GI issues. The new ADHD meds unlocked my creativity for the first time in almost 10 years. The writing is an excellent escape mechanism when I'm finding food hard. And now I'm this new version of me that is defined in some way by all of these things every day.

As we close the year out, I can't help but wonder what lies ahead for me next year. I feel like this year has been so challenging for me, at times so intolerably hard, and yet I am so much happier and healthier now and so much more me than I've ever been.

I am so excited to see who I become next.

Refrain: food and fuel

The food allergies started restricting me in April, and I worked out it could be gastro-involved histamine intolerance only at the end of June.

Histamine intolerance is really hard to actually diagnose, so we're not even sure it's actually that. Even with a potential label, working out what I can and can't eat has been pretty tough, as there's no rule book - some foods are well tolerated by some people, and some aren't - so I'm still in this crazy period of trial and error, working out what food I can still tolerate and what makes me immediately unwell. Whatever it is, histamine intolerance or not, I'm having to refrain from eating my favourite foods or even just foods I like, as mostly everything makes me sick.

It also changes all the fucking time - for a few weeks I could eat tomatoes, but now I react every time. I managed to get green tea back, but if I have more than one cup a day I have a reaction. I got almonds, pecans, cashews back, but then almond butter started making me sick. I had a few weeks of being able to have gluten free biscuits before those too were problematic. Right now I can have this one caramel vegan ice cream, but who knows how long that will last.

My lifestyle had to change too: I couldn't eat out with friends which has really impacted my social life. Leaving my house for any period of time became harder, so I haven't travelled nearly as much as I usually would. In fact, even fueling myself to get through the day is a constant battle.

Fueling myself properly is really important, as I try to keep active. I do weight lifting, reformer pilates, and have taken up running recently. It was a real struggle at the beginning to work out how to get enough protein to build muscle that I lost, what carbs I could tolerate so I could get through a workout. I'm finally finding foods I can eat again that help, so I've been able to stop losing muscle as well as fat and actually started to put muscle back on!!!

Since April, I have been so so so unwell other than just food reactions: I developed scurvy (yes, like an old-timey sailor!), shingles (something that usually affects the elderly, so no healthy person in their 30's should get it, even if it is just chicken pox part 2!), and flirted with anaemia (just for fun, because I didn't have enough to get on with without fainting when I tried to stand up...).

I've lost over 30% of my body weight since June... Although, to be fair, I had put on some of that weight on because I was unwell and didn't know it: I swelled up like a balloon and had no idea how to stop it. I was constantly exhausted, constantly ravenous, constantly eating, constantly sick and achy - my body storing everything it could process so I couldn't access any of the food I ate for immediate energy. I'm not even entirely sure how long this was going on for, so it's hard to work out what experiences are connected, but safe to say I was not very well for far longer than I was aware of.

I'm now having to take handfuls of vitamins and supplements every day to try to make up for not getting what I need from foods that are usually recommended (citric acid, spinach, or eggs). It's honestly been the most expensive year of my life, as the NHS here in the UK has been unable to help me in any productive way (and even then, I've collected more samples and given more blood than one should in their lifetime). I see a private nutritionist once a month, and have a private gastroenterologist I'm going to be working with too. I've had so many fucking tests that I've paid for privately, most of which didn't give me any useful results. I'm still trying to work out if it even is histamine intolerance, but that's our working theory and I've stopped being sick every day, so that's what we're running with.

It's more manageable now, but it's still something I'm struggling with every day. It's bloody exhausting. I want to have one coffee. I want a glass of wine. I just want to not have to think about food for one fucking day.

Medicate: diagnosis and doses

I grappled with all of that for two months until I was diagnosed with AuDHD in September. My brother who lives in the states got diagnosed with ADHD and started meds over three years ago, and he'd been on at all of the family to at least investigate whether we had it, too.

My poor mum had taken me to see someone new almost every other year I was in school, trying to investigate what was going on and why I had such a hard time with school and fitting in. I also tried twice as an adult to get diagnosed, not knowing that my Autism was masking my ADHD and visa versa. It wasn't until 2013 that AuDHD was even really recognised, so all of the prior attempts were bound to fail. I think it was 9 or 10 attempts, and only one success.

Finally, with an AuDHD diagnosis, so many of my experiences throughout my life began to make sense. I'm going through this process of unmasking, of acceptance, and it's really fucking hard. But, at the same time, I'm also going through a process of unlearning. Everything I believe to be true about myself was learned without the full context, and so most of it is incorrect. What's more, who I am as a person is being redefined, and I am honestly delighted to discover that I've never had a unique experience in my life - it is so comforting to realise that not only am I not alone, but there are parts of my experience that were actually better because of my differences.

I started the ADHD meds in October, and my entire life has drastically shifted. I went through the initial period of titration, getting used to the meds and working out the dose. Started the meds was fucking wild because I went from being barely able to function, not being able to get through the day without a meltdown or overwhelm, to then being consistently able to do my chores and not collapse from the mental exhaustion of it.

I began to be consistent for the first time in my life. My house was tidy? My plants were watered? My inbox was at 0? Who was she?

And all I could think was: neurotypical people get this for free???

Create: rediscovery and writing

I started playing guitar, ukulele, singing, and writing songs again soon after, and I was fucking ecstatic.

I did a degree in songwriting from 2012-2015, and haven't been able to write or play in any way since. I think I either burnt out from using creativity academically, or the consequent experience of working in the music industry disenchanted and discouraged me, but either way I haven't even touched my guitar in 4 years. I played sporadically and privately from 2015-2020, and then the pandemic happened. It kind of isolated me from my passions, and I stopped finding enjoyment in anything at all during a really intense period of either burnout or depression (the anti-depressants I was on didn't help, so I'm going with the former).

The idea of creating something new honestly frightened me - My brain would only let me experience familiar things or there'd be an almost physical frisson of fear at the idea of the suggested new thing, my brain so overwhelmed with everything going on that I'd be so overwhelmed that I'd freak out if I tried. This wasn't just applied to creativity, but to any form of enjoyment. I could reread books, but new novels or series were out of the question. I couldn't watch new series of TV shows I'd watched for years. My brain wouldn't let me focus on anything novel, so I was sucked into old, familiar, safe favourites, where I knew what to expect, what I was in for.

And then, the medication kicked in.

For a few weeks on it, nothing creative came out. And then, somehow, suddenly, art. I found my tenor uke in our attic, the tuner out of batteries and my fingers out of practice even if my brain could remember the chords. I had to redevelop my callouses when I picked up my guitar again, and for the next few days after that first obsessive day I couldn't play as my fingers hurt too much.

I only began writing creatively again at the end of November. I've dabbled in writing, enjoying it as a hobby in my teens and delighting in reading for my entire life, but I've only written 2 short stories (fanfics, as original works still terrify me if we're being honest) in recent years.

Liz Gilbert's Big Magic talks about genius not being something we posses, but a divine being that visits us to gift us with ideas. If we aren't receptive, perhaps they will wait around, or maybe they will take their ideas elsewhere and find another outlet. To me, it felt as if I'd had these invisible spirits haunting me without me knowing for years, floating around my head screaming at me to just fucking listen to them and let them in. And, so in that final week of November, when I finally opened myself up to them, they came - enthusiastically, thunderously and hectically - and I wrote prolifically.

The ideas started pouring out of me so frenetically that I was barely able to hold on as they coursed through me. I spent the 4 days as November faded into December sitting on the sofa with my laptop as a 25k fully formed story idea flowed into existence. I barely slept, forgot to eat unless my husband put something in front of me. I didn't even really edit or reread the chapters I wrote before uploading them and starting on with the next story.

None of it is original work yet, but it feels like practice, like play, like I'm playing a video game with other people's characters. I'm using these familiar worlds and concepts to elbow my way through my brain's now familiar resistance to new things, and create new ideas for myself while its too distracted to limit me.

In the past month I've written 11 individual stories, some with multiple chapters, some one-shots exploring a specific idea or thought that had graced me. In December alone I wrote over 80,000 words. What's crazier, honestly, is that it's still fucking going. I was waking up brimming with ideas and as soon as I laid my fingers on the keyboard entire stories would surge out. I even started a side blog for it (where I've posted even more than I have on this blog!!) and it's become a real hyper fixation for me in the past month. I'm really enjoying engaging with other people who love writing and fandom too.

I have an entire folder of drafts, outlines, plots, song inspiration, fanart inspo, and almost finished stories waiting for me whenever I want to engage in my latest hobby... and I am having the best fucking time.

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

[perperam]

OKAY I saw your Instagram post things and I just want to know what are your headcanons for that universe?? Is there any specific AU you imagine the Instagram AUs happening in or do you have specific rules for your own ideal version or

somehow, surprisingly, you're not the only one to ask this !!

okay so funny story at first I literally just drew the instagram things bc I thought yeah harley would be so loved by all of internet generation gen z college kids (as an internet gen z recently graduated undergrad myself)

but then as I made the posts more and more intricate with the comments and stuff it kinda...grew into something bigger? like they actually have a particular AU for them now!! so that's fun

here's what I'm thinkin I want in my social media AU:

world building wise:

neither of them are really "heroes" but they aren't outright supervillains either—like they're anti-heroes that dont give a shit about corporate & capitalist culture

aka they can, have, and will continue to steal from big market names and threaten CEOs, but will also pool money to pay small business and support local folks

much like the vibes of the harley quinn animated series, harley and the rest are literally Just People and go to coffee shops and just hang out in public (the fuck is GCPD gonna do for them drinking coffee, send em to Arkham??)

this makes them really well liked by Gotham's general public

also because ivy has and will kill rapists and bad men on sight and harley has on more than one occasion been linked to crimes where abusers have mysteriously turned up dead or beat to a pulp with a blunt object suspiciously shaped like a bat or sledgehammer

there's this specific tattoo shop harley really likes that she goes to whenever she wants a new piece done, and because of her instagram they've become the most popular place in Gotham, in fact if you go there on any given day you have a 25% chance of seeing harley

also I wasn't kidding when I said harley really would have her own psychiatry clinic and continue to treat people (mostly college kids and criminals) for free because harley says fuck the US health care system and helping others would be really fulfilling to her

harley advertising on her instagram story: hey yall I'll be having a trauma processing session tonight at my clinic please stop by if you want to make an appointment or listen to my lecture

oh also harley has a podcast and the episodes vary from "workout routine" to "breaking the glass ceiling of female supervillains and the male gaze in crime" to "why stealing is sometimes okay" to "studying for the mcat and quick tips" to "perhaps marx was right" to random tangents that go on and on and on

pam on the other hand is not only a feared ex-supervillain but now a revered member of Gotham's city-revitalization planning committee

in between heists for rare floral specimen she plans climate protests and tree-planting events and in general does her damn best to try and bring some sort of green to Gotham in a "legal fashion" (a news source once said this and ivy almost killed the news anchor on the fucking spot from how much rage pumped through her veins in that moment)

characters & dynamics wise:

harley and ivy have been living together and literally married for like, a year now by this point

selina is over so often she might as well be living at their apartment

the gotham city sirens and the batkids are besties!! as they should be (this used to stress bruce out to no end but after the third family dinner dick planned with "aunty harls and pam" he had to eventually give up)

in fact jason and harley often get involved in stupid shenanigans and dick is almost always there with them and literal seconds from being implicated in their scheme somehow

jason is often at harley and ivy’s apartment and can greatly relate to harley in many different ways (from growing up in a crime riddled neighborhood to having intense trauma courtesy of the joker and ivy finds it endearing that he trusts harley enough to let people in (and there is a visible, tangible change in him after he starts getting closer to harley, everyone can feel how much happier he becomes)

harley and ivy are 28 and 32 respectively but because ivy literally has the interests and name of a 90 year old everyone just teases her by calling her "grandma pamela"

the batkids refer to them as aunty harley and aunty (sometimes grandma) ivy and ivy fights every time for a different name but just gave up sometime after tim joined in

ivy and tim get along really well, surprisingly

also alfred literally loves pam because she helps the plants in bruce's neglected green house thrive and ivy really enjoys his company because he's on the same wave length as her and "knows when to shut the fuck up and just bask in the quiet unlike literally all other men"

I think I want babs and dinah to be dating bc have you seen their chemistry and dick and kori to be dating bc again have you seen their chemistry but I'm kinda torn and in between and idk

bud and lou are great cuddle bugs and ivy secretly loves it but pretends she hates it to harley's face bc a girl's gotta save some semblance of dignity right

details:

harley has adhd and you can't convince me, someone with adhd, otherwise

harley has both shitty tattoos that she gets for no other reason other than that it's funny or that she hyperfixates on them super hard for half a second and suddenly there's art on her again and ivy's just ?? when she gets home. she also really meaningful tattoos that she has multiple consultations about

she had two ribcage tattoos before the joker, got three tattoos commemorating him during their (highly abusive) relationship which she immediately covered with new ink upon leaving him, and gets a lot of patchwork style tattoos down her arms and thighs

she has a giant flower tattoo going down her entire spine and it's ivy's favorite thing ever

ivy actually also has a (singular) tattoo and it's a diamond with a stem and leaves as if it were a flower

it's still very much a work in progress but since multiple people have asked me about this I thought I'll dump all my thoughts here

[recording-this-journey]

It's now almost 7 months on T.

Here's my update. My voice has dropped significantly.

No one told me this so I will tell y'all this; if you have ADHD or Autism, the struggles that come with puberty changing how your condition presents will happen again. I was not prepared to feel the need to go non-verbal and rock and fidget and all the things that impact my life having both of those, getting super intense again without warning. This time I have strategies, routines and money for fidgets.

My blood pressure is a problem again, but that might be winter. I'm getting new compression socks bc I almost passed out after a bath again.

Take a bone supplement, you need calcium and bones become weak fast when your vitamin and minerals are off. Or I might have arthritis, either way check in with your doctor and consider a bone supplement.

My periods are lighter and more regular, I spot regularly and am honestly just really really used to it now.

My body changes are now 'I have no jeans, I have 4 shirts, I have to wear a bra because the binder I got doesn't fit now.'

Bottom growth stopped and then started again. It randomly became painful. CottonOn has the best briefs for now irritating bottom growth. And if you're like me and stopped shaving to prevent dysphoria you may also like me end up considering shaving again after the bottom growth hits a certain length where it becomes painful to have it hit hair.

Acne is a bitch. I'm so sorry. You'll need a good quality moisturiser, it's the only extra thing I found actually makes a difference for me but I did also start triple cleansing again.

Wash everything with soap multiple times and seriously, wash in between hairs well. I also love baths now, they're great. Hated them over showering before but I care less now; however that could be how clean my sisters bathroom is post renovations.

Earwax is annoying, it increases, cotton buds will absolutely make it worse, don't be a full talk to your doctor and get the ear wax cleaners they use for swimmers ear when it gets bad.

You're going through fast tracked puberty, give yourself some grace, eat well and accept your body changes as they come. Tell your family the comments on weight are inappropriate annoying and unwelcome. And fuck their comments cause you look hot af and they're likely stuck in outdated diet culture. You will likely gain weight on T, it's a good thing, embrace it and enjoy it and work your way slowly through workouts to build muscle strength so you can rival the cis boys in the gym with endurance and bassery. Or my motivation, to be a kickass dad to the worlds cutest babies in 15 years.

[themadauthorshatter]

Henry Stickmin Headcanons, because I'm bored

Before becoming the leader, Reginald was a strong menber of the Toppat Clan. Due to this dedication from the other clan members, when he questioned Terrence's decision making, something that usually got people thrown overboard, the crew actually stood behind him and usurped Terrence.

Right was not friendly with Reginald when he(Reg) first arrived. He found him too talkative and annoying. He only started warming up to the handle barred mustachioed guy when he saw how much more Reg cared about the clan as a whole and not just it's profits.

Henry used to have a stable job as a waiter. He was doing well for a while until he soon drifted into kleptomania and got fired. He also was and still is a good pickpocket.

Ellie does A LOT of workouts, and she used to date a bidy builder and had to keep up with him. Herr muscles have slimmed out a little bit, but she still maintains a good form.

Charles struggles with ADD rather than ADHD.

Henry is both on the autism spectrum, selective mute, and a bit of a kleptomaniac.

There is a timeline where Henry and Terrence met, but neither remembers too well because the CCC interfered.

Terrence Suave was pansexual

I say he's pan because Henry is his third son.

... Don't ask about the first two.

Wilbur wore three top hats because he had extremely sensitive skin.

Terrence was both reckless and an adrenaline junkie.

Dave and Rupert are roommates.

Jacob and Ellie used to talk. That stopped when Ellie robbed a bank/tried to rob a bank.

Randy was everyone's favorite leader. If you ever messed up a heist, he just gave you a "don't let it happen again," praised you fpr what you at least did right, and then sent you on your way. He was known for throwing a party nearly every weekend to boost morale and was good to the members of the clan.

Henry took geology in highschool and kept the interest after graduating. He has A LOT of rocks and gemstones, including some phosphophyllite, some giodes, and other rare stones.

Charles is not allowed to drink coffee. At all. Energy drinks, fine. Soda pop, that's okay. Tea, kind of a risk, but not bad. BUT DO NOT GIVE HIM COFFEE!!!! NEVER GIVE HIM COFFEE!!!!!

Ellie and Henry learned the hard way to not give Charles. Pros: it was a day off and Ellie was strong enough to hold him. Cons: There was no coffee for the rest of the week and Henry and Ellie had to chase him for nearly an hour because he got out of the house and ran and hid wherever he could.

Burt and Charles are cousins.

Henry DESPISES neon colors. Bright's fine, but wear neon and he will do everything in his power to nit talk to you for the day.

Ellie knows spanish.

The triple threat trio watch a lot of the same shows we watch, hence why they use so many references.

Charles does take some medicine to help his ADD, but if he forgets or doesn't get his refill, he gets more emotional and frustrated and the withdrawal gives him headaches.

Terrence did survive being overthrown, but no one knows what happened to him.

Thank you for reading my headcanons, I hope you are all having a good day!

Stay safe and Happy Holidays!!!

[sunqyu]

Nova gets her shit together paaaart 1.

alright, so this post is mostly for myself to hold myself accountable a little more than just writing in my journal and not looking at it again for weeeks. there’s two things I want to do, first up I want to start getting more structure in my life and second I want to make actual friends. this is part 1, I’m going to write out where I’m at right now with these things, what has worked in the past and specific things I can do.

Structure

so my adhd-butt may be high functioning towards the outer world but the older I get the more the lack of structure is getting to me. one week I’m miss productivity with workouts, meditation, journaling, studies and my job galore and the next week I just sit in my own stress and anxiety too paralyzed by the pressure I put on myself to do anything at all. how to fix?

the things that have worked in the past were writing to-do lists per day and starting with max. 2 things on it, building up to 5 but never exceeding 5. if I have time left I can obviously do more but I shouldn’t feel bad if I spend the rest of the day chilling. why has this gone wrong before? probably because I either still felt bad when not doing anything, or because I simply couldn’t get myself to write a list every day or (and this is the important one) I was too strict on myself so I’d write down way too much to do, only leading to me doing none of the things I wrote down. how do I prevent this from happening? the first full week, I can only write down two things and I HAVE TO be proud of myself if I do both of them. I mean, with a history of perfect to-do lists without result, I really should be proud of doing two things a day for an entire week. another thing with this one is picking it up again when I miss a day because one day missed shouldn’t ruin the entire process of learning the habit.

now, a funny thing that is already happening in my brain as I type this is ‘oh we should work out every evening too so we have the energy to do the things’ and ‘we should journal everyday as well to keep up with our mood as we do these things’, ‘we have to meditate at the end of everyday to truly relax’ etc. etc. and FUCK that’s not how it works Nova, seriously. this whole all or nothing sh’bang doesn’t work and it’s my biggest downfall with these things. it’s okay if relaxing is just watching youtube vids, or whatever it is you want to do. you don’t have to be miss productivity-guru within one day. just get the basics right first and don’t rush. I repeat DO NOT FRICKING RUSH. Stop and smell the flowers, because you want to, not because it fits this dumb image you’ve created in your mind that you’re trying to live up to.

alrighty next.

Friendships

you’ve never been in a fight, you’ve never had anyone tell you they don’t like you and STILL YOU’RE INSECURE AS FUCK ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY? why? why would anyone hate you if you give them literally no reason to? if you just lock yourself in your room after appearing to be a very social person? stop pretending to be this super social happy person and let people know that you’re lonely as fuck. how are they going to know you want to get closer to them if all they get from you is how happy you are and no initiative to meet up? take initiative!

I know that’s terrifying. I know. but the more you do it the less scary it gets. the only reason you’re this scared is because you’ve never tried it. you’ve created this comfortzone in your head about how scary everything is as an excuse to be lazy and not take initiative, only to wallow in self pity about not having friends. when it’s you!

the most difficult parts about this is 1. when you’re talking to people all you’re thinking about is how to act instead of listening and opening up, you’re never going to connect to people like that and 2. you SUCK at checking up on people regularly. sometimes you don’t text the people you love most for like two weeks. now this might be because of your ADHD but you shouldn’t use that as an excuse not to do anything about it. what are we going to do about it?

first up, show initiative. scary but just do it. small steps first so you’ll realize that people don’t find you annoying for asking how they are. if the conversation dies down, no big deal, sometimes people are busy or they don’t know what to talk about either. those awkward moments are necessary to connect with someone more than surface level. also, 9/10 you’re the one who replies slowly and that’s not with ill-intent. why would it be the other way around?

the second thing is finding a way to be consistent and work around the whole ‘out of sight, out of mind’-frickery. maybe set an alarm? once a day? where you just go over all your texts and make sure to reply to all of them. no matter how lame your reply. let people know you want to talk to them and you appreciate reaching out to them? setting an alarm to text your friends definitely isn’t very normal and organic but fuck it, if that’s what you need to do to get back into the groove of things. once you make a friend it’ll be a lot easier because things you see will remind you of them faster.

Overview for this week

so, for structure we write down two things on a to-do list every single evening, nothing more, nothing less. don’t get sad if you forget, be proud when you don’t. don’t ask more from yourself than those two things (I mean it! don’t you dare!). set an alarm every day to text people. even if you haven’t spoken to them in a while, just do it! maybe they want to talk just as much but they’re afraid you don’t want to. someone has to start, why not let it be you?

[eutheo]

⟨ CHARLIE GILLESPIE. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, THEODORE “THEO” MOSETTI is actually a descendent of H E R M E S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MCOGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR from NEW YORK, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite LOYAL & IMPULSIVE. 

guess who’s back, back again? it’s me, the local mommy long legs here to give you yet another character for me to try and do justice too. as ALWAYS please dm me for plotting purposes for this hyperactive boy, he is a fairly good egg. let’s get into it.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME theodore james mosetti NICKNAME(S) theo, teddy, tj OCCUPATION cashier at fireside records (part-time) SEXUALITY: pansexual AGE 21 DATE OF BIRTH april 2nd NATIONALITY american RELIGION spiritual THREAT LEVEL 5/10

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

FACE CLAIM charlie gillespie HEIGHT 6 foot even EYE COLOR hazel HAIR COLOUR + STYLE brown, almost like a caramel color. slightly grown out (he hates hair cuts) DOMINANT HAND right DISTINGUISHING FEATURES warm and welcoming smile, shaggy hair, bright sparkly eyes, broad shoulders, full bushy brows, small beauty mark to right of nose, freckles scattered through out skin. ACCENT + INTENSITY has a new yorker accent, especially strong when he’s excited (which is common) or angry (which is not too common) TATTOO(S) he has ONE tattoo, a smiley face on the side of his right hand with “just smile” scripted beside it. SCAR(S) long scar running along his left shoulder from surgery from an in game injury, a few little scars on hands from sports. PIERCING(S) one of his ears is pierced, he did it as a dare and honestly didn’t hate it so he kept it

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

HOMETOWN newark, new york CURRENT RESIDENCE athens, greece LANGUAGE(S) english/italian SOCIAL CLASS middle BASIC EDUCATION high school COLLEGE EDUCATION currently a junior in college DEGREE(S) N/A PARENT #1 holly mosetti & enzo mosetti (adoptive parents) PARENT #2 barbara hawks (birth mother) PET(S) growing up had two dogs, golden retrievers  RAP SHEET? clean as a whistle PRISON TIME? he would be dead, tbh

VICES + HABITS

SMOKES? ocassionally DRINKS? yes DRUGS? only weed, has taken ecstacy/molly before VIOLENT? not unless provoked OR sticking up for someone ADDICTION(S)? physical activity, perhaps? also enjoys reality television. SELF-DESTRUCTIVE? he can be at times. HABIT(S) excessively bouncing leg, pacing around, whistling (someone smack him if he does it too much), drumming hands on knees, rubbing the back of his neck, talking too loud. HOBBIES sports, sports, more sports, late night drives, playing guitar, enjoys listening to music for hours or watching sports. LIKES any sport but football and baseball are his favorites, the song brandy (you’re a fine girl), karaoke nights with friends, laughing until he cries, falling down youtube rabbit holes. DISLIKES overly-aggressive people, missing birthdays, wet socks, people who bite ice cream, overly seasoned food or UNDERLY seasoned food, quiet rooms. OBSESSION(S) once again SPORTS, ANYTHING SPORTS. and john lennon. COMPULSION(S) talking to fill space, he hates long pauses.

MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION

HOUSE hermes ZODIAC aries ELEMENT fire ANIMAL golden retriever 

HIS POWERS AND PERSONALITY CAN ALL BE FOUND RIGHT HERE <3

EXTRACURRICULARS: capture the flag (vp), member of the choir, feminist alliance, lgbt alliance, theo tackles that (sports segment for radio), songwriting club

SPORTS CLUBS: captain of baseball, member of basketball, lacrosse and football.

WORKPLACE: somehow manages to pick up shifts at fireside records?? he is all over the place tbH?

HERE ARE SOME HEADCANNONS about the basic background info on my son, i might write his full bio.....i might not, WHO KNOWS, but i probs will. for now, here’s some need to know background:

theo was left in the foster care system at a very young age, his mother was an addict who gave him up in favor of continuing her life of addiction, but he was VERY QUICKLY adopted by the age of 2.

the family who adopted him already had an older son, who at the time was 6, and also eventually gave birth to a daughter who is 5 years younger than he was (she was a miracle baby).

he has diagnosed adhd, it was pretty intense when he was younger but after getting medication for it and diving into sports, it’s calmed down a bit...although it does still tend to flair up every now and then.

theo’s family was middle class, they lived in newark, new york (right outside new york city) in a humble home and were very tight knit. of course they had little family arguements here and there but, over all, he had a very wholesome childhood.

he found out he was adopted when he was pretty young, it wasn’t like his parents needed to tell him, he didn’t really look like his siblings or parents in the slightest but he was always assured that they loved him regardless and theo knew they meant that.

VERY MUCH involved in sports all throughout his life given his athletic ability, he loves sports (don’t get him started because he won’t stop). honestly, he just loves being involved and being a part of something. to quote high school musical “being a part of something special MAKES you special.”

outside of sports, however, he loves music...picking up guitar (mostly to impress a girl when he was younger) and he has a decent singing voice although he very much is more of a jock than a performer.

hermes claimed him when he was 12, he found out he was a demi-god when he was sixteen.

right before his sixteenth birthday, he was severely injured in a football game against another team. it was a rare day when he was off, as if something drained his energy, and he dislocated his shoulder. it was the ONLY TIME he used his powers to steal a larger amount of money since his parents would have to pay a lot for the surgery.

he is currently studying PSYCHOLOGY (cognitive) due to his adhd and wanting to learn more and help other people out there who might be struggling, although knowing how all over the place he is...he may switch at some point, who knows with him tbh??

SIMPLE WANTED CONNECTIONS FOR THIS GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY:

best friends (2 or 3), brother/sister figures (2??), workout buddies (2 or 3), sports junkies such as himself, fwb (maybe 2 or 3, he is a pretty loyal little pup but he iS still a boy), exes (could end on good terms, bad terms, awkward terms who knows??), crushes (unrequited, mutual, secret??), enemies (1 or 2, theo doesn’t have many enemies but maybe someone isn’t about his good vibes?), party pals, coworkers, teammates, ANYTHING really.

i’ll probs make him a wanted connection page down the line when i get my stuff together hehe <3 feel free to dive into my DMSSSS!

[voidingintotheshout]

A great article (part two is in a link at the bottom of the article and includes tips). It specifically talks about the persistent thoughts that can either paralyze you into indecision or trigger unwanted emotional reactions. With ADHD, this is usually things that don’t really matter (such as deciding whether to cook dinner or order takeout when you are exhausted.) Alternatively, it might be someone in your friend group behaves towards you in a way that you don’t like but they aren’t willing to acknowledge responsibility for their actions. For me, it can be this perpetual cycle that when I am getting close to seeing this person in a social setting again, The cycle of ADHD rumination on some issue will occupy my thoughts for hours or days before the interaction. For me, I know that it’s my brain trying to figure out a solution to a problem that doesn’t have a solution so it just keeps going around in circles over and over again. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m going crazy. The above article and the sequel will give some of you some tips and solutions on how to deal with these things. I will add one more: mindfulness.

Now, I happen to be a Muslim so I have to pray five times a day and the prayers are somewhat intricate with specific movements and things that I have to say in another language. This requires concentration. Unsurprisingly, when I pray, this persistent thought tends to go away afterwards or is at least minimized. One reason this is I think is because I tend to devote all of my energy and focus towards the actions of the prayer that I’m doing. I mean, I’m not going to discount the workings of Allah/God here, but doing some thing that requires focus, concentration and also has physical movement can really help pull you out of your own head. It can help stop these thoughts. Other versions of this are aerobics, exercise, bodyweight workouts that you could do wherever you happen to be, intensive yoga routines, or going to the gym. The article accurately reminds you that sometimes the mind isn’t intending to be cruel by bringing something up for the hundredth time, sometimes it’s just bored and need some stimulation and if you give it some other stimulation it won’t mine its memories for some thing to do. I hope this helps.

[aadhad]

ADHD during the quarantine

Okay if y'all are anything like me you are

Bored

Not productive

Bored

Bored

while in quarantine/isolation/social-distancing

All my roommates are gone and I am sleeping until 3pm and staying up on my phone until 3am.

I'm so bored but the ADHD irony god insists I cannot do things because ????

So here are some things thag have pepped me up the last couple days.

Worked out

Okay so this is hard because gyms are closed and I'm broke. But I found an app called FitOn and I do the workouts that I only need a small space for.

It really helps me not die of jittery boredom.

I help my executive dysfunction by taking a caffeine pill (bottles are cheap) 30 min before doing it.

You can also find things on youtube lime Just Dance routines

Art

I'm only semi-okay at art but that's okay because I'm probably not going to show it to anyone anyway.

I like just doodling patterns on printer paper and it keeps me going for hours

Paint by numbers are good too. the site My Paint By Numbers has a huge selection and they're cheap right now. I bought two yesterday for $30 when amazon sells one for >$40. I have a referral link and you can also use the code WHEELFREE20 for 20% off. I don't know what the quality is like because I havent gotten mine yet

Reorganize things

I don't like organizing things until I'm bored enough to organize things. Then I c a n n o t stop.

I redesigned my living room. I took everything out of my cabinets and rearranged.

I cleaned my storage closet

Just do whatever impulsive cleaning/rearranging/reorganizing you want. Novelty is important so changing up a living space is a great way to have fun with your time alone!

Learn a new skill

Even if you don't follow through, knowing a little bit about a new skill is a lot!

For example: cooking, sculpting, circuits, a poetry form, painting, woodworking, changing oil, etc.

So much satisfaction from this

Add more if you've found something!!!!!!

[earlgraytay]

some neurotypical karen advice (and why it’s supposed to work)

okay, so if you’re like me, you have an allergic reaction to being told “you should try yoga! that will make all your health issues better!” or “have you tried eating [superfood of the week]?” i have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, and adhd, and most Standard Health Advice has done squat for any of them.

the thing is... there’s a reason why doctors give Standard Health Advice. They’re not clueless neurotypical twats (okay, many of them aren’t...), there’s actually Evidence-Based Medicine behind what they’re suggesting. But they’re suggesting a one-size fits all solution to a complicated problem, and if your brain/body chemistry is weird, that one-size probably won’t fit you. it can start to feel like all health advice is bad, and like you’re never gonna be able to recover, so what’s the point? 

but... you can recover, and the advice isn’t necessarily bad. you just have to know why doctors advise this stuff so that you can make it work for you. 

this is some Health Advice I Get A Lot, why it’s supposed to work, why it doesn’t work for me (in case this post winds up circulating around medblr and not just spoonieblr), and what has worked for me instead. this advice might not work for you. what’s good for the goose might not work for the gander. 

1. any piece of health advice that is supposed to come before the basics: getting enough calories, getting enough hydration, getting enough sleep, and getting enough of the right medications.

why this is supposed to work: getting physically and mentally healthier will make it easier for you to get enough food/water/sleep, while helping you to avoid having to take meds (which can have lots of weird side effects on your brain and body).

why this doesn’t work:  at least for me, trying to do anything new when I’m not getting food/water/sleep is just not gonna happen. I will flake out on it because I feel like crap, and feeling like crap means that I can’t do the things I need to do, which will make me feel more like crap.   on top of that, medication has been one of the few things that has consistently helped me not feel like crap; my ADHD meds and fibro meds have been a game-changer.  

what you can do instead: if you’re having trouble eating/sleeping/hydrating/medicating, you need to take care of those problems first before you try to do any of the other stuff on this list. you can’t build a house without a foundation. if your doctor doesn’t take this seriously, or if doesn’t take your requests for medication seriously, they’re not a great doctor; if you can, you should try and find a new one.

2. ‘have you tried yoga/t’ai chi/[other low-intensity workout fad]?’

why this is supposed to work: okay, this is actually pretty neat. if you have chronic pain or chronic fatigue, it’s because something is wrong with your nervous system. pain is a signal your brain uses to tell your body, “hey- this is a thing we should stay away from!” or “hey, stop doing this thing that hurts you, you’re gonna hurt yourself more!” if you have chronic pain, your brain gets confused and starts sending out junk pain signals for everything. it parses any brain signal it can’t figure out as pain. and because you’re naturally inclined to avoid pain, you start to avoid more and more things. unfortunately, this means that your brain parses even more things as pain until everything hurts to do. in the meanwhile, your muscles are getting deconditioned- meaning that you’re getting weaker, and so any kind of physical activity is gonna hurt more. so you get into a negative feedback loop. exercise is supposed to break the negative feedback loop. it tells your brain “hey, you can ignore some of these pain signals, we’re doing this on purpose” and helps your brain make more endorphins - the neurotransmitter that gives you a ‘runner’s high’. your brain knows how to process these and they make you feel better/stronger over time. it’s kind of the same thing for depression and anxiety, but for depression- your brain isn’t sending out enough signals at all. depression and C/PTSD both make your brain less active. exercise makes your brain send out endorphins, which helps it become more active and helps it remember how to make the other neurotransmitters it needs to make. the reason doctors often recommend yoga/t’ai chi/low intensity workouts for this purpose is that they’re easy on your body. they help your body remember how to make endorphins without making you put a lot of strain on your muscles or heart.  

why this doesn’t work: exercise works best when it’s restorative. if you’re doing something that feels good or makes you feel valuable or fits your self-concept, you’re gonna have a better time than if you’re slogging through something you hate. (h/t to @theunitofcaring​ for that concept)  the trouble is, for a lot of people, yoga and t’ai chi are not restorative. they can be more painful than certain nominally-higher-intensity exercises, especially if you’ve got joint pain. on top of that, since ‘try yoga’ is one of those first-line-of-defense recommendations, a lot of disabled people have “tried yoga” and found that it didn’t work for them; they associate yoga with failure, self-disgust, and/or the frustration of not being listened to. and on top of that, some people have religious problems with doing yoga (which was originally a religious practice, even if it’s largely secular now) or have problems with ‘mindfulness’ (for a person with PTSD, ‘mindfulness’ stuff can lead to panic attacks or worse). 

what’s worked for me: pokemon go and then bike riding. pokemon go uses ‘traditional’ video game mechanics like log-in bonuses and daily quests to get you coming back every day and uses mechanics like experience points to get you playing just a little bit longer. in the case of traditional games this can lead to some unhealthy feedback loops, but since Pokemon Go is based around getting you to get out and walk around, it can get you into some healthy feedback loops. thanks to pokemon go i’ve gone from walking about 1 km a week to walking 5-10 km a week. it’s seriously done great stuff for my physical health, and... well, it’s hard to be depressed when you’re surrounded by cute Pokemon. (if you don’t want to give the Pokemon Company your money or don’t want to have your location on on your phone- i’ve heard good things about Zombies Run. Never tried it myself and I can’t pay attention to podcasts for long, but take that as you will.)  the other thing that’s really helped my physical health was learning to ride a bike- and i don’t mean an exercise bike, I mean an actual fucking bike. i never learnt to ride a bike as a kid, so learning now has been a fun challenge. and even though riding a bike is technically higher-intensity than yoga, i associate riding a bike with speed and freedom and learning something valuable. so i gladly go to bike lessons every week, even though it takes a two-mile walk to get there.  basically: find something you find restorative,  and work your way up to being able to do that. don’t force yourself to do something you hate in the name of ‘exercise’ unless you want to be the kind of person who does the thing you hate.

3. Get up at 6 AM (or earlier) and spend some time in the morning to center yourself!

why this is supposed to work: okay, this isn’t something I’ve seen the science on. but from what I gather, it’s intended to give you space alone with your thoughts, away from the hustle and bustle of modern society and also give you some time to get ready in the morning while you’re not stumbling around like a zombie getting your coffee. i hear a version of this advice specifically targeted at writers a lot- “get up early and write before you have to go to work/get the kids to school/start your daily responsibilities!”

why this doesn’t work: not everyone can, or should, wake up at 6 AM. some people have work schedules that forbid it- if you’re working a 6 PM-12 AM shift, for instance, waking up at 6 AM is just not gonna happen. And some people have naturally later internal clocks. a lot of people with ADHD, for example, need to get up at noon and go to bed at 3 AM to be functional. some people genuinely are morning people and find getting up that early to be restorative; some really, really ain’t and really, really don’t.

what’s worked for me: getting up at least an hour before i need to start getting ready to go AND finding some time during the day to not focus on work, school, or entertainment. These two things don’t have to go together!  but the extra time in the morning lets you get up and get your head together (and eat breakfast- always important) before having to head out, and the time to center yourself... IDK why but it helps with getting your head together.

...I might write about more of these but I’ve run out of spoons for this post so I’ll come back to this idea later.