#the absolute bitch
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
One of my favorite bits of trivia about myself is that in the third grade (I was in Kansas at this point), my teachers would take turns reading to the entire grade. (It was three classes per grade, all three classes were in one room and were separated only by imaginary barriers)
One of my teachers had an accent (a very midwestern accent), and she decided to read Little House on the Prairie, this meant that for a long time I thought there was a character named Paul. Until I tried to explain to my mom about Little House on the Prairie and this thing that "Paul" did, and she was so confused.
It took her a good fifteen minutes before she realized I meant "Pa" and not "Paul".
#relatable?#funny#hilarious#lol#relatable#accents#accent#midwestern accent#little house on the prairie#pa not paul#don't ask me how i got to that conclusion#i could not tell you a single thing that happened in that book i genuinely do not remember a single thing about it#my mom couldn't stop laughing after she figured it out#i was annoyed that she wouldn't stop laughing#third grade#third grade teacher#may she rest in piece#the absolute bitch
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
When burning pasta is so traumatic you have to rewrite history in your head
#Phil really said that was you bitch#and then we said that was you bitch#we never forget#did I do this instead of doing work in class#absolutely I did#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#daniel howell#1k notes#2k notes#3k notes#4k notes#5k notes#6k notes
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
yapper x listener in every universe
#transformers#shockwave#soundwave#wavewave#transformers g1#transformers prime#transformers earthspark#transformers animated#maccadam#idw & cyber-verse dont count cause they have absolute beef there and the only kind of rship i see them having is just plain hate fragging#tfp designs i love you but you are a BITCH to draw for someone who hates mechanical details like me#deeco art
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
HELLO???? PRO-HERO TOUYA???? I’M FOLDING SO BAD—?????
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#pro-hero touya#alternative universe#canon divergence#sketch#nagatomo1565#like— is there a universe where this man is not fine? EXACTLY. THERE ISN’T. BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS FINE AS HELL?????#i’m currently crying while gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. we could’ve had it all if a certain selfish bitch wasn’t a selfish bitch…#whenever there’s a new sketch of dabi i’m just🧎🏻♀️#yes sir… absolutely. YES.#THAT COCKY LITTLE SMIRK STOPSJDKSJDKSJXKSJXKAJZKAJZJAJZKSJSK
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
silly headcannon #2 that Bruce never got the reference that Jason always made of himself being short round (he always thought it was Jason saying he was short) until after he died and Tim, avid Indiana Jones fan made Bruce watch the movies with him, only the man breaks out crying., sobbing, full on breaking down over the two second scene that is Indy ruffling Short Round’s hair as he explains they first met when he caught the kid stealing from him, and then took him under his wing.
#i can totally see Jason coming back and absolutely faltering the first time Batman calls him short round#when they’re in better terms Jason totally gets back at Bruce by calling him dad and seeing him walk into walls#jason: get uno reverse-d bitch#meanwhile Bruce: *crying*#he called me dad#it’s Bruce’s version of calling Jason little wing#im sorry I just love that they refer to him as a smol bby#cause this man is neither short nor little#he’s Dick’s baby brother#his little wing#his dad’s short round#Babs little bro#Bruce and Dick 🤝 calling Jason little and short#JSJKS meanwhile the entirety of Gotham in the background:#??? that is. a 6’4 tank of a man. that—that is not a short nor little#tim and Jason see Indiana Jones together no I don’t make the rules#also fun fact did you know Indians Jones is movie from the western genre?? cause I just got this information this week#im shook#JSJ#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#indiana jones#red hood#batman#dc
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Narilambs your goat
Get adopted, idiot
#fanart#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl goat#narinder boutta throw hands up until the goat starts talking#then is just like - 'oh you crave violence??? bitch me too the fuck :)'#the lamb is absolutely standing on a box here - there is absolutely no way they are that tall#shorter than both their husband and adopted child - So Sad (yet so adorable)#anyway if the lamb isn't able to use the mating tent in the new update i will personally scream because I NEED CANON SHITTENS#i made this instead of sleeping or working on more important comics lol#ok time to go be sleepydelirious while inking other things
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
👁️👁️
#i worked on this on and off at work lmao#i have absolutely normal feelings about og!elias bouchard and think about him a normal amount#tma#the magnus archives#elias bouchard#<- i mean sure technically that's him#jonah magnus#<- thats the bitch#tma spoilers#vague but they're there#please zoom in for the details i spent too long on the painting#the frame killed me dead
547 notes
·
View notes
Text
eddie being a nosy motherfucker ignoring his girlfriend to spy on his baby daddy and sugar daddy out on a date together literally man of all time
#im in love with you you absolute bitch#911 spoilers#evan buckley#weewoo brainrot#eddie diaz#911 abc#buddie#tommy kinard#bucktommy
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
vex & pike in c3e112
#critical role#cr spoilers#ygifs#listen laura said hi baby unwarranted to pike and left me to deal with that#absolutely c1 still plagues the narrative if keyleth and pike both need to get fucked and vex is like well I'll FIND someone#like lady vexahlia grand mistress of the grey hunt you ARE someone fuck your bitches yourself already they're dying#here's how cr is really just the narrative demanding laura's pcs to be nonstop dykes send tweet#pike the same one who got FLUSTERED when naked vex hugged her is yearning for her geriatric human husband while Vexahlia is right there?ok.
774 notes
·
View notes
Text
lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle
#for the love of god someone pls take away my artist privileges#this came to me in a fever dream except i wasn't actually sick just delusional#the pink leather jacket was a gift from kouyou for his sixteenth birthday and he's obliged to wear it everytime he takes the motorcycle out#dazai finds it absolutely fucking hilarious and probably takes blackmail photos except you can't blackmail a bad bitch like chuuya so#every time you open his photos he's probably the only one getting embarrassed bc it's all pics of his partner👹#anyway he looks so bbygirl in pink i wish he changed his outfit for smth other than official art#but alas#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#lotus draws
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
if i keep seeing so many people refer to ayden as an indication of an unknown softness in pelor i will start setting things on fire. just because YOU cannot handle nuance does not mean the story of exandria has not contained it and done so consistently. in fact the first in depth interaction that any party had with pelor (vex becoming his champion) was a portrayal of him that was explicit in his complexity. taken straight from the transcript for 1x104 elysium, “[vex you] spin and look, whereas there once was a burning star-- and to the rest of [vox machina], you see the painful, endless light that averts your gaze-- it doesn't hurt your eyes as much, and you can see the faint features, the soft cheeks, the hairless head, and the bright warm eyes of he who brings the dawn. And you can see the smile there, behind the light. “there is hope.”” sunlight can warm you and burn you in equal measure.
that burning image of the sun has much in common with a teenage boy who steps into a dark room, and reminds the dm that it’s not dark. the same way that a teenage boy who stands by as a woman who will not give up her worship of pelor is punished because he has more important responsibilities he must honour has much in common with a seemingly benevolent lord of the dawn might respond harshly to a cleric who asks if he is worth saving while he is trying to find a way to survive so he might keep helping to provide light. the gods aren’t simple and they never have been. i am as psyched about the particular angle that downfall is taking as anybody but it is already frustrating watching people act like the gods are suddenly more nuanced because they’re in literally mortal bodies when the entire Point of the gods in exandria in the various stories we’ve seen so far is that the only difference they have with mortals is the bounds of their power. they carry all the same flaws and the same profundity. just because so much of the fandom has reduced that to black and white flatness or faulty mapping onto real world religions (or the various traumas those might have caused individuals) doesn’t mean that complexity has been missing at all from the story.
#this reads like a vague post ik but i was just tryin to vibe and enjoy the liveblogs n tweets n stuff and the good good energy#and then i saw 4 separate posts in succession bein like ‘woah new dawn father just dropped’ get a grip. why don’t you watch vex’s arc in c1#and ponder the god who accepted her as champion and saw her as a source of hope . for a Moment#like yes pelor is a cold and ruthless bitch .#so is vex. so is percy. but wouldn’t ya know. that’s not it. strange#like yes i Do think we are absolutely seeing where some of the harshness of pelor grew more impenetrable#but acting like the only thing we’ve seen of the dawnfather is cruelty. foolish and textually incorrect#cr3#cr downfall#cr spoilers#critical role#pelor#the dawnfather
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gore, Violence and Blood under the cut
What a mess
#fop nature au#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop#dale dimmadome#Flowers OC#candy gore#gore#blood#body horror#this really is a mess on so many levels#I wanted to make this situation as difficult as possible for the fairy council to theoretically clear up#everything from the animal to the location to the injury is a nightmare to try and explain#And theres a reason I spent so much time showing the gore getting on his injury. Mans gonna have a rainbow bitemark on his leg forever now#Not exactly easy to explain away#Also I think I accidentally established that Magic was a little toxic so he might have minor blood poisoning lol#Im sure he'll be fine#This is how all gay people are made but the fairies make you forget it#Actually while scripting this I realized how much this looked like the set up for some kind were-deer or were-fairy(??) plotline#which was not the intention but would be a hilarious direction to take the plot in LMAO#Also Id like to mention that flowers is fine. Fairies are functionally immortal aside from magic backup#Itll be healed up like nothing happened it no time#that being said it is still kinda pissed about the skull smashing#Dales got multiple broken ribs plush his leg is in shambled. Absolutely demolished#He's gonna have to get metal implants#You might think 'oh he's gonna opt to get a prosthetic leg now too'#No. Because hes a cowardly little bitch#He doesnt want to get his leg removed if its not absolutely necessary and because he's a nasty little hypocrite#Anyway this will be the start of a very nasty spiral methinks
823 notes
·
View notes
Text
asmodeus, rocking up to aeor as a cleric of the dawnfather just to spite his brother who is leaning hard on the youth pastor aspect of his divinity
#critical role#cr3#cr downfall#cr spoilers#so funny#an absolute shit disturber#the lord of lies and a complete bitch#i love him and i hate him and i want to study him like a bug#brennan said what's funnier than an old priest?#an old priest who's secretly the devil and trying to fuck with his holier-than-thou brother
598 notes
·
View notes
Text
"He sits there for another two hours, with Legend cradled tightly in his arms, the lantern glowing in his grasp, a small island of warmth and light in the cold darkness. With nothing but his memories, and the slow, quiet draw of Legend’s breath, to keep him company."
First time sharing my Linked Universe fanart here, after lurking in the fandom for years - I was emboldened to do so by @kikker-oma 's lovely Fan Joy July event. This illustration is for Clearing the Air, a story by Sinnatious which has embedded itself deep into my psyche and refuses to leave. It's genuinely great writing - go read it if you haven't and enjoy heavy angst, wilderness survival, and old men being absolutely, perfectly, 100% fine, thank you very much.
#i had way too much fun with the shadows on this... turn up the brightness if you want to be jumpscared by feels >:)#how is time so calm about everything? if i think too hard about his life again i'm going to scream like legend...#but at the same time i absolutely get it. dissociation is a bitch and something i personally deal with on a daily basis#mfs when fictional characters are relatable: oh boy! now put them in horrifying situations <3#this fic tho... my dude really earned that twelve hour nap by the end#my art#digital art#the legend of zelda#linked universe#linkeduniverse#fan joy july#fanjoyjuly#hero of legend#lu legend#hero of time#lu time#all night mask#artists on tumblr
868 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love fiddleford,,,
#fun fact that first message is a real text i had to send to the hottest bitch i know#absolutely tragic#he has too much chin in some of these thats my bad#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddauthor#ford²#fordsquared#standford pines#ford pines#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls#digital art#doodles#sketch dump#rebisrot
413 notes
·
View notes