#the Deathless? she’s died like 4 times

[pelideswhore]

If the apple of discord was thrown down at the wedding feast of Peleus and Thetis, how did Achilles, their son, fight in the Trojan war? The timeline does not make sense to me unless you just chalk that up to the timing of the Eternal, Deathless Gods but mortals are involved. Like Paris is presumably asked right after the wedding to judge who gets the apple then he picks Aphrodite who has promised him the most beautiful woman. Does she like wait to find out who that is and that causes the delay? The story seems to go that she promises Helen, they kidnap Helen and then the war begins so like that’s a year tops in my mind but how would that give Achilles time to become the teenager he is in the war? Please help. If there is a definitive answer excellent but I also just want theories.

i really love love love this question, cus i’ve thought about it a lot, especially because i consider Paris and Achilles to be around the same age, which, as you said, would make no sense.

sadly, i don’t have a definitive answer, but i do have a theory. it’s quite long though so buckle up.

As you probably know, Aphrodite, Hera and Athena asked Zeus to solve the issue before resorting to Paris. Zeus couldn’t answer and by the timeline of the Gods, many mortal years had passed so Paris would have been born, sent away from the palace and had enough time to grow up at this point. Ares suggests him, the goddesses ask and Paris gets bribed. But he doesn’t take Helen straight away, because he’s still a goatherd at this point.

Before I finish with that, let’s get back to Achilles. One would probably assume that within the first year of Thetis’ and Peleus’ marriage, he was already born, but that’s actually not true. The couple had six sons before Achilles, but they all passed away somehow (which, i like to think, is the reason Thetis is so protective). That means, even if they all died on Day 1 of their life and Thetis conceived the very same day: 9 months x 6 = 54 months aka. 4,5 years. That’s at least 4 and a half years before Achilles was born, but I think I can safely assume it took a little longer. Let’s say 6 years (which btw is still unrealistic and would probably be horrible for Thetis’ health but I digress).

So now, Achilles is born, stuff happens: Achilles meets Phoenix and Patroclus, he gets sent to Chiron, and eventually Scyros etc. Let’s say he’s 17 when that happens. Still a teen, but old enough to get Deidamia pregnant. Realistically, Thetis would only send him away when the threat of the war is imminent, so Helen’s kidnapping happens when Achilles is 17. I tend to say Helen was around 24, Paris was maybe 21. I believe however that the Judgement of Paris happened a couple years before.

Because, consider, Paris picks Aphrodite as a goatherd, but he kidnaps Helen as a prince. So somewhere in between, Cassandra must've found him and brought him back. He then had to get used to royal life, but, more importantly, all the ships had to be ready to go to Sparta. It could've happened in a couple of days, but a couple of years isn't unrealistic either, and it fits the timeline better.

It's a bit all over the place, so here's summary:

0 years: Peleus' and Thetis' wedding, Golden Apple incident (Paris/Achilles not born)

2 years: Paris is born and abandoned.

6 years: Achilles is born.

19 years: The Judgement of Paris happens, Paris is still a goatherd.

23 years: Paris kidnaps Helen, start of the war, Achilles is aged 17

The only time ‘divine timing’ really plays a role is between the wedding the Judgement of Paris. In divine timing 19 years is nothing, just enough time for Zeus and Ares to get involved. Paris would’ve probably already held one or two bullfights at the age of 17 when he is chosen to judge between the goddesses and from then on everything runs pretty smoothly, bearing in mind the 4 years between Aphrodite promising Helen to him and Paris actually kidnapping Helen.

sorry it took so long to post this, had to get my thoughts in check then type it up :D

[voidcommascreamintothe]

Cassian is not going to die in the next acotar book, what are y’all on?

I’m talking about acotar again. I gotta. The thoughts must be let out!

Come, walk with me here.

I’ve seen a couple of tiktoks saying that Cassian is likely to die, or that he is fated to die. But I am convinced that media literacy is much lower than the experts thought, because some of the arguments are just… inaccurate interpretations of canon?

My arguments are as follows:

1. Elain saying it wouldn’t take much to kill him, was only in the context of the battle with Hybern. And i know this because acotar was supposed to be a trilogy!!! You dont even need to read between the lines here, you just have to read. It was supposed to end with Wings and Ruin. It was planned out and plotted as a trilogy; altho i am partly convinced that Maas never intended the books to continue past the first one (more on that another time). Elain either saw that Cassian dies and intervened because she saw that his death leads to Nesta’s death, or she warned him, to let him know that he is not infallible. His death means Nesta will probably die too, as is established when Nesta refuses to leave Cassian and covers his body with hers, so Elain warned him to not do anything stupid. Altho the fae people have long lives, they are not Deathless. They can still die. So that warning of Elain’s, only served as a reminder to Cassian.

2. We have canonical resurrections. Rhysand died and came back. All three Archeron sisters died and came back.

2.1. We also get a cop-out. Near the end of acosf, when Bryarlin is controling him, he turns the knife on himself and pretends to fall to his death, so that Nesta can unleash her power to its fullest. This fake “Cass dying” scenario happens like two or three times over the course of the books. It would be poor cheap writing on Mass’s part if it happens AGAIN. And poor and cheap writer she is not.

3. What would be the point?

No, i am serious here. Narratively, what purpose would a Major Character Death serve at this point in the story? When has an important character died, and stayed dead in these books?

I truly believe that Amren’s death would’ve served a narrative purpose. If she sacrificed herself - and stayed dead- for the sake of everyone else, it would’ve been definitive proof that she was more fae than cold blooded monster. She was not one for sentiments and warm hugs. This act would have been her showing just how much she changed, how much the love she received from her friends changed her for the better. But no, she gets scooped up from the magic cookware and becomes yet another powerful female character that looses her powers.

Side eye. Major side eye to Maas for that one.

And thats for Amren, a secondary character. I do not for one second believe that permadeath is in the cards for any of the acotar characters.

4. Maas got her start in writing Sailor Moon fanfics. Do you think that someone who writes Sailor Moon fanfics would NOT write a HEA?

Ok this is more of a meta-textual reading of the text, looking at the bigger picture and incorporating details from real life into the contextual interpretation of the text, but it is important still.

Maas’s stories are high fantasy with a hard magic system and also a focus on love and loving relationships between people. Throne of Glass specifically, but the Maasverse generally, follow this kind of pattern and genre. A Court of Thorns and Roses is much more of a Romantic Fantasy. Romantic not as in smut, but as in Princess Bride. Romantic as in the Romantic movement in literature. It is idealistic. It shows a world through pink lenses in the shape of love hearts. It is much more of a 80s or 90s fantasy movie than anything else.

Game of Thrones these books are not. GRRM, Sara is not. The tonal shift that would come with a Major Character Death would be jarring. It would be off putting to a lot of the core audiences, and if Maas doesn’t see this, then Bloomsberry does. Or someone on her team does. If they cut a threesome scene, citing messiness and over complicating character relationships, then they most likely advise to stick with the status quo: HEA.

Love and loving connections is a huge part of the plot in Sailor Moon. The meaning of love, life, bonds with other people, all of this warm fuzzy way of telling a story is the point of the immaculate conception of Maas’s world building. She will bot go against it. It is not within her style nor her pattern of storytelling.

4.1. My loves, Aelin made it out of the box. Aelin got her happy ending with Rowan by her side and a crown on her head. Her Majesty the Queen of Therassen, got out of the box and got her happy ending- without her powers (side eye) but that is for another post. We were worried for a second there, but it was a HEA at the end wasn’t it?

When Maas said that we should be worried for Hunt, (or Rhun really, both are in a bit of a pickle at the point the story left them), I am confident she meant we should worry for them in the same way we were worried for Aelin. Who went through hell, but came back. To her HEA. Do you see what in putting down?

4.2. I also don’t really have a way of saying this, but smutty romantasy books do not kill off their breeding pairs. The style/subgenre of smutty romantasy does not come with main girl/boy death. Side characters, maybe; parrents or siblings (often off-screen) definitely.

But not your breeding pair. Cmon. We’ve read enough of those books to see the established pattern right girls?

I am by no means an athority on ACoTaR lore. Im just a girl in the world, reading smut. But I do have reading comprehension skills. Well developed ones, in thanks to all that classic literature i read as assigned reading in school. If I can analyze the motivations and traits of Raskolnikov and the original Lady Marmalade, as well as accurately surmise the plot of War and Peace, a book that gave me no peace and gives me war flashbacks, then a book about hot people having hot skysex is not an issue babez, truly it is not.

Bonsoir.

[whgmasterofceremonies]

WHG 19 - Day 2

Overnight, the arena became freezing cold, but as the sun rises on the second day, it brings the scorching heat with it. Day 2 of the WHG has started.

Pretty quiet today! Except for Ramona forcing a terrible choice on Izzy. And in the face of that, he chose to kill Jia Li. She will be always in our hearts. Other than that, some resources gathering, some kindness from tributes sparing each others’ lives, and Caspasia is a mood!

As a chill settles into the arena, the anthem plays, and the dead faces cover the night sky.

Wow! An exciting night! Five deaths! I hope the Capitol wasn’t sleeping on this one! Lian stabs Mal like they’re a fish. Arthur chooses violence when he stabs Carrion multiple times. Starling is victim of the ever-present forces of gravity. Serah gets her second kill by slicing Ash. And! Ink dies of dysentery. Amazing. A lot of the other tributes work together, causing a nice dichotomy. 

District 1

Jaiden (she/her) @funky-writer-man​​

Hector Ravenscroft (he/him) @addisons-damn-dialogue​​

Maya/The Deathless (she/her) @pied-piper-of-hamlet​​

District 2

Ari Rust (he/him) @written-in-gold​​

Dr. Maura (she/her) @bloodlessheirbyjacques​​

Dr. Damian (he/him) @bloodlessheirbyjacques​​

District 3

Argent Sang (she/her) @maple-writes​​

Starling Hexel (she/her) @spacebrick3​​

Carrion Conjager (he/him) @spacebrick3​​

District 4

Wolf (he/him) @funky-writer-man​​

Jake (he/him) @forthesanityofsome​​

Seth Zavist (he/him) @clocksandchaos​​

District 5

Isaac “Izzy” Glass (he/they) @knmartinshouldbewriting​​

Ink Nikodemos (he/him) @multi-lefaiye​​

Arthur Huffman (he/him) @multi-lefaiye​​

District 6

Malkemi Villa (she/her) @ratracechronicler​​

Jesse Starin (he/him) @written-in-gold​​

Serah Reide (they/her) @pen-of-roses​​

District 7

Lian Ngo (she/her) @knmartinshouldbewriting​​

Jia Li (she/her) @addisons-damn-dialogue​​

Lyra (she/they) @forthesanityofsome​​

District 8

Caspasia (she/her) @pied-piper-of-hamlet​​

Hansel (he/him) @forthesanityofsome​​

Oliver Strath (he/him) @clocksandchaos​​

District 9

Iris Casion (she/her) @clocksandchaos​​

Asa (they/he/she) @autie-auden-writes​​

Shryth Yoaz (she/her) @faytelumos​​

District 10

Ash (she/he/they) @funky-writer-man​​

Diggory (he/they) @autie-auden-writes​​

District 11

Khalid (he/him) @bloodlessheirbyjacques​​

Ramona (she/her) @autie-auden-writes​​

District 12

Sabre (she/her) @concealeddarkness13​​

Mal Andalori (they/them) @concealeddarkness13​

[auroroaka]

The End is Nigh progress!

Here are my current stats! I just achieved 100% today because I finished up Super Mega Cart. I really enjoy the carts in this game, I love the visual style, the bit sized style, it just feels so good to do a round of 10 rooms and then practice until you can do them deathless! The main game is also incredibly fun, I had so much finding the secrets throughout the game, the game feels so alive, it plays so nicely. It's just so much fun!

Here's my current progress in the carts. I got some great things done today. I started off by finishing up Acceptance, that is one of the first long form consistency tests I've done and it was so much fun, I really enjoyed practicing and learning everything up to it. And then world 5 is such a beautifully done sight read challenge. I absolutely love odd asynchronous cycles and taking my time to analyze them ahead of time. My first run in world 5 ended in the final row at the top row when I tried to jump over a ghost that was simply too high for me to go over. It was a rough death but it didn't hurt because I was confident in my ability to get back there and that the road back there would be a lot of fun. I also spent probably 20 mins just staring at the ghosts figuring them out and it was super rewarding. Also world 4 is beautifully designed gameplay for messing with your nerves, those balloon platforms along with the time pressure are brilliant but world 4 is definitely the easiest to execute, I love how nerves impact it. My second time to world 5 I died on 5-2 by jumping the gun on a ghost, my third time returning to world 5 would be my successful attempt. I went through it far faster than I thought I would. My lovely girlfriend Lucy who has done everything in the game aside from Dead God, gave me some great advice. It was along the lines of "keep going and stop when you have to" I interpreted it as, moving forward being the default, which is kind of an aggressive playstyle which feels good to play with. Lucy is such a great source of help for difficult games. She gave me so much great advice for both of my Cave Story 3 HP runs, one being on hard mode in Cave Story +, she taught me how to make the undead core fight way more manageable. Regular core was so difficult in that.

I also completed Scab or Die deathless! Also don't be fooled this is not a photo taken with my phone, the game has a really good CRT filter for the carts. This was so fun to learn and do deathless, I love the cycle strat I came up with for 3, the muscle memory for the drops in 4 felt so nice. I found a fast but safe platform cycle on 5. 6 is definitely the hardest room but Lucy had a great idea that she came up for it, in that room you have to deal with spikes coming up from the floor and receding at a rhythm and jumping up and making progress without dying requires precise timing but she found a great strategy. You basically take advantage of the game's coyote time (time after walking off the ground where you are still allowed to jump despite not being on the floor) and it makes it much easier however it is still incredibly difficult. 7 I found a cute strat where I can be safer doing something more precise. I have to try avoiding touching a block but if I hit the block there's no punishment since you can just return to the previous screen and reset the room. 9 was a great room to learn, though I died there once. And then this image I posted, this is the final screen, I died once by running into the pit at the start, it was silly, I didn't die to that room after I respawned. But I preserved and eventually I got back there and beat screen 10 without dying to it elsewhere, I cut some gaps really close but I did it! I'm looking forward to completing the rest of what's there to do in this game. I really like The End is Nigh cart, im excited to do that deathless. Thank you for reading! I wish you a very nice day!

[tealenko]

About the Tomb Raider 2 ending...

So, it's no news to anyone that I despise the RotTR ending because:

It didn't happen (no matter how much the canon wants to say it did)

*Spoiler alert* Jacob dies Thanos style along with the best ship that has ever existed.

Anyways, been working in this fic for a while now to fix that, but never got to the "how on Earth I'm gonna fix that final scene and make it fit in my fic" part of the problem.

Until today.

Today I slept 3 hours, went to work, chugged a can of generic energy drink and, in a 30 min break, planned the whole thing in one go. And the result is so AWESOME and I love it so much that I wanted to share my notes for this one with the 5 people that follow me for my TR fic.

Anyone that's here for art feel free to ignore me XDDDDD

Btw, spoiler alert for chapter 7 (I think this one will be the 7th, you never know for sure XD) of my Three Letters fic.

⬇️Here's my new TR2 Ending plan⬇️

New ending of RotTR

We begin in the Divine Source's chamber

Ana is about to shoot Jacob

Lara stops her

Please, please, please, idk how much it costs: ARROW TO THE KNEE XDDDD

Lara stands in front of Jacob to protect him: NO ONE IS DYING ON MY WATCH!

Ana enters in *evil injured character speech* mode -> “Another Croft doesn’t have to die for this” -> works both ways, for her and for Lara.

Lara warns her about the divine source

Konstantine paper/scroll showed in the prison escape scene: “only the worthy will be able to blah blah blah…”

She thinks that’s the reason some people lose their shit by becoming immortal and others, like Jacob, stay the same (except for the whole not dying thing, I mean). 

Ana goes “fuck it”.

Shoots Lara, on the arm or something.

Grabs the source

Lara tries to reach her but doesn’t make it in time.

Ana dies, in terrible suffering, and disappears Thanos style. HA! TAKE THAT SQUARE ENIX MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Lara catches the source before it falls to the ground.

Jacob goes to her.

The divine source switches its owner.

The source judges Lara as worthy and start to give her ownership -> aka last owner must pay the price and give back his years of immortality, *Pirates of the Caribbean 4* style.

Jacob falls by her side.

Jacob is ready to die

Lots of lights and flashes surrounding them: Raiders of the Lost Ark style!!

Part of Jacob speech

He’s glad to die

Now I must pay the price

Change Lara’s “You knew I’d destroy it” for “You knew I’d stop her/them”

All the deathless kneel and surround Lara/them

End of Jacob speech

In all my years…

I just wanted…

You already have…

+ I’m ready to die

And Lara is like: hell no.

Lara freaks out and destroys the source

Losing the option of immortality

Saving Jacob, who is now mortal too

And fluff, we're here for the fluff.

Maybe end it in a Lara mind speech about what just happened and why she chose Jacob above her main quest/mission/objective of proving his dad was right.

Aka: boy you got me helpleeeeeeesssss 🎶🎶

[nathank77]

7/24/24

4:05 p.m Significantly Added to/Edited 4:05 p.m

Also I don't believe in soulmates anyways when we get down to it. No one was made for me.

That's why I'll be alone until I kill myself. I could live to 80 and no one is going to marry me, I'm undatable. No one but a crazy lunatic would marry me.

The idea someone could be made for me is ridiculous, it's delusional. It's actually delusional to believe anyone on this earth was made for me or that soul connection are a thing.

It sucks but when it comes down to it I used to believe the soul was separate from the body..

My favorite qoute was, "All that lives, lives forever. Only the shell, the perishable passes away. The spirit is without end… Eternal… Deathless."

I still like it but that's not my feeling on death anymore. Now I feel like this:

"You only get one life. There's no God, no rules, except for those you accept or create for yourself. Then once it's over... it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while youre here?" -Nate from Six Feet Under

I can't be happy cause I hallucinate constantly and I'm always alone but yea-

I really used to think the body was just a vessel and souls were trapped in said vessel.

Now I think we are just straight up anatomy. And once we die, it's black nothingness.

That used to make me uncomfortable bc no one knows what happens when we die. But black nothingness seems like a great escape from this shitty life I live since this hallucination will never end and I'll never find a partner and get married and have kids.

I mean I wish things would get better but they won't. They haven't and they won't. It's delusional to think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's delusional to think this hallucination will ever end. It's delusional to think I'll ever recover. All we are is anatomy and when it breaks it can't be repaired.

When I used to be in your life and talk about how shitty my life was, never in my wildest nightmares did I think I'd be followed around by a chronic auditory hallucination that never shut up. Followed around by my mangled brain chemistry. I never thought it would get this bad.

The dark tunnel had a little light before then the talking brain syndrome started and never stopped and here I am almost a year later still listening to it talking in the background as I think and write this knowing full well the end is near cause I'm never going to get better nor will I find "my person," or have kids or have a life worth living. I'm going to end up homeless when my mother dies that's why I dream about it all the time.

Beyond that- I'm going to rephrase what I said about you and your husband. I'm glad you found your person and you're happy.

To call him your soulmate would be to insinuate that I believe the soul is separate from the body and soulmates exist.

I can't believe that cause if I did mine died in infancy or got aborted or something. She didn't make it cause she would be here right now.

[bubblyandpink]

Gods

My grandmother said, before she died, that they appeared long before even the oldest person in the village had been born. They were in our stories, our rites, integral to our way of life. The mystics are taught to read their language of clouds, their straight lines of air. The hunters know how to close in on a deer or pig after they have past, using the sound to drive the wild animals into their traps. We revere them like gods, ever present. And like a god, you cannot get too close. You'll be damaged. Those who do often loose their hearing, at least. Sometimes more.

"Do not follow them," said my mother. She was always scared of what they could do to me. My grandpa can't hear because of them. He was on top of the mountain, when one past over his head. Our village is high up, higher than most other villages. They pass close, sometimes you can even see them with your eye, even if they are too fast to really make out. Large, dark beasts that roar as they pass over your head. They're louder than anything you've ever heard before. If you sit with your closest friend in the smallest house in the village, perhaps the chicken coop, and have her scream as loud as she can into your ear, you might get close. But more likely your ear will hurt for a while and you'll see another one later, and it'll be even louder.

Sometimes traders and merchants will come from the place they call the 'ocean,' which they say is the biggest lake you've ever seen. And salty. Our people are less nomadic. They bring shells and pearly glass and sometimes dried fish. One time they brought a large sheet of strange looking rock, but harder and more dense, even colder to the touch. It had strange markings all over it, indents and groves that not even our most skilled artisan could carve. The merchant said that it was from one of those things. The most ancient village elder said that was a horrible idea. Like taking the body of a god, either a trick or a curse, it could bring nothing good. We did it anyway, giving them 4 week food for the slate.

One day, when I was out on the largest mountain next to our village, early in the morning, one of the things past over my head. It's speed horrified me, blowing the air around my body and the grass around me. Once it had past I watched it continue on, until suddenly the right half of it erupted in flames and it began tumbling toward the ground. I felt powerless. It was like watching a god die, the beasts I have known all my life, deathless, now tumbling down to the ground in a fiery ball of death. It felt like hours what was certainly mere seconds, watching a god die.

[sl33pyperson]

my main idea is darcel was a thrillseeker when they were younger, and almost died doing something really fucking stupid. theyre lying in the dirt, blood and bones broken, while this lil devil pops up laughing her ass off. “ive never seen anyone do that, do it more! entertain me!” and heals darce.

darcy bolts and does nothing for a week, scared of the whole thing. they realise eventually that, oh shit i can do magic? i didnt agree to anything? and the devil pops up again pissed off. “i thought you would be entertaining, but youre laamee”, darce argues that with magic and power that could open up more doors, more possibilities, “prove it to me that you’re worth my time. show me new things”

insert a week where darcy 1. kills a chicken and eats it raw 2. kills a random person and drinks some blood. 3. walks into the main street naked 4. eats poisonous ingredients (oh yeah their parents r alchemists) 5. idk other shit, time passes without a word, no magic, so darcy sits in front of a mirror, determined for something they see as access to knowledge, to protection, to getting out and building up themselves, cuts out her eye and eats it.

the devil returns, grinning. the deal essentially is magic and power, in return for darcels physical heart when they finally die, and for entertainment. do things no one else has done. push limits and boundaries. and darcel, curious for the forbidden and willing to push their new powers as far as possible, agrees wholeheartedly. failing that, darcels soul would be forfeit.

but uhhh with the bg3 plot she doesnt have to worry about hr lil demon taking her soul anytime soon, cant say anyone else has killed a deathless man and became part mindflayer, yooo

it makes their relationship with karlach so sad, like, darcel is so willing to throw themselves to any open pit. darcel has no care for themselves as long as its new, or if it gives knowledge, no matter the cost. i think orin asked if darcel would be willing to turn on their loved ones? and with enough of a reason, they fucking would. im so scared theres going to be an option to return karlach back to zariel bc i really dont know what darcy will do…… the only reason darcel is up to breaking into raphael's house is bc who can say they stole shit from a devils house and survived? they still want to give the crown to him OTL

darcy is very not willing to breaking their pact with their patron too…. sigh…… karlach dont waste ur time….

[mischiefmagpie]

She’s a 10 but accidentally mobilized the forces of Menzoberranzan to attack the surface. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms Viewers' Choice #2: Ophelia Phamrsolone

EDIT: Okay, so.... we might have mixed up what day our anniversary is. Sorry this is two days late! We’ll get it right eventually. Hello Fate fans! If you’re reading this, that means we’ve successfully survived until the end of our second year, and it’s time to celebrate! (That, and this post didn’t glitch out right at the end of us writing this like the last one did.) It’s time for our viewer choice builds, and not only that, but we have another gift for y’all too! We’re planning on doing these much more often, so you can expect one around the 15th of the month from now on.

Anyways that’s enough announcements, you’re here for the build! Today we’re building Ophelia Phamrsolone, wielder of the Mystic Eye of Prolongation, as well as the second crypter we meet on our battle royale. Obviously she has an important role in LB2, so expect spoilers below the cut.

She’s a Divination Wizard to score that eye we need, plus a Great Old One Warlock for some benefits from the Foreign God.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Race and Background

Ophelia was a human, but then she died. Now, thanks to the Foreign God, she’s a Reborn. That gives her +1 Intelligence and +2 Charisma, as well as an Ancestral Legacy for proficiency in Perception. Her superpower’s literally seeing things, so that’s no surprise. (Technically you can get two skills here if you want, but she was a human, so that’s 1 skill. Take the extra if you want, but this isn’t exactly a skill-based build.) You gain Knowledge from a Past Life, letting you add a d6 to a skill check Proficiency times a day. The crypters also get protagonist powers, sorry Guda.

Finally, your Deathless Nature gives you plenty of benefits. You have advantage against being poisoned as well as resistance to poison damage. You also don’t need food, water, or air, and you don’t need to sleep either so your long rests take 4 hours instead of the usual 8. Finally, you have advantage on death saves. You took a fatal wound before the big climactic fight even started and you lasted longer than the flame giant did. That’s pretty impressive.

We need an expanded spell list, so we’re pretending the Foreign God lives in the sewers so you can be a Golgari Agent. This gives you proficiency in Nature and Survival so you can cook those sweets you love, plus that extended spell list we were looking for.

Ability Scores

Intelligence is number 1. You are one of the seven greatest mages in the world, after all. One of the seven remaining mages in the world, by any count. Charisma is second, you’re bad at hiding your feelings sure, but a lot of your magic is inherited, so if we weren’t going warlock we’d go sorcerer. Wisdom is also pretty good. We don’t need it for much, but once again seeing is your power, so your passive perception better be decent. This means your Dexterity is only okay- Masters don’t really fight directly that much, so it’s not like you have to worry about your AC. Mages also don’t really have home gyms, which explains why your Constitution and Strength aren’t remotely good. We’re not dumping constitution though- that’s for Okita.

Class Levels

Wizard 1: You don’t start off dead, so we’re starting the build with your regular mage stuff first. That means you have proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, as well as Arcana to do magic and History to know about who you’ve summoned. You also get Arcane Recovery, that lets you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest once per long rest. Speaking of: you get Spells. You get a lot of spells, which you cast and prepare with your Intelligence. Unfortunately, like most of the characters in lostbelt 2 you don’t really do much, so quite a bit of these spells can be replaced by “your choice here”. We mostly picked the spells based on their thematic appropriateness to the lostbelt, along with Ophelia’s stated specialties of evocation and conjuration. When something comes up that’s a must-have, we’ll let you know. On that note, your first command spell is used to empower Sigurd’s attack power, and Faerie Fire does a good job of doing just that. Anyone in a 20’ cube gets blasted with glowingness for up to a minute, giving attacking creatures advantage to hit them. I doubt Sigurd needs that much help to hit Guda, but every bit helps.

Wizard 2: At second level you’re a Divination wizard, making you a savant at copying spells from that school to your spell book. That’s half the time and half the cost, baybee! You also get your mystic eye, a.k.a. Portents, at this level. When you finish a long rest you roll 2d20s, and record those rolls. You can then spend a roll to replace an attack, check, or save you can see with that number. That’s straight up your mystic eye ability- see the future you like, force the world to let it happen. Interestingly enough, this does not use your reaction. You also get a second spell we’d like to talk about, Entangle. You use your two other command spells to weaken Sigurd, and for some reason they’re both plant based, hence the background. Wizards don’t do plants. Unless they’re sewer wizards, I guess. Anyways, we’ll get plenty of plant-based hinderances to keep Sigurd from killing Mash, so don’t worry about that. We’ve got your mystic eye covered, plus all three command spells… congrats, this build’s over, everyone pack up and go home! …Fine, we’ll actually get to the lostbelt. I guess.

Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. Faerie Fire also hits anyone on your side standing in the area, so if you’d rather not teamkill we can use Magic Weapon to buff Sigurd instead. Eventually, that’s a +3 to damage and attack rolls, pretty sweet!

Wizard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Intelligence. That’s more powerful spells, plus you can keep more on hand for added flexibility.

Wizard 5: For your third level spells, Plant Growth is another debuff for Sigurd. Cast it as an action and it’ll block up a 100’ radius area, turning the entire range into super difficult terrain. Cast it over 8 hours, and you’ll ensure a good harvest that year. That would be super useful if you weren’t living in a population-controlled dystopia. Woops. You also get Clairvoyance, letting you see out of a sensor plopped somewhere you’ve been or like, around a corner. It’s not nearly far-range enough to see Surtr yet, but we’re getting there.

Wizard 6: Sixth level divination wizards know Expert Divination, so every time you cast a divination spell you can regain a spell slot from a lower level. Skadi’s pretty stringent with her supplies, so it behooves you to follow her lead. When in Rome and all. Or Scandinavia. You can also cast Sending now, delivering a 25 word or less message to anyone you’ve met before, though there is a 5% chance of failure if they’re in a different lostbelt. “Hey Kadoc, how’s it going, Surtr’s about to escape and turn the world into a barbeque please help, do do do doo do do do,” that sort of thing.

Wizard 7: Time for fourth level spells! Grasping Vine is yet another way to keep Sigurd under control, pulling him away from Mash while also dealing a little damage. More importantly, you can use Divination this level, allowing you to ask one question about the near future to a godlike being. If Arjuna could become a god by eating most of a pantheon, so can Surtr.

Warlock 1: Now that we have established connection with the Scandinavia Lostbelt, we can begin your resurrection in earnest. When you come back as a Great Old One warlock, you gain an Awakened Mind, allowing you to speak telepathically with creatures within 30’ of you. I don’t believe this is canonical, but it would make commanding Sigurd on the battlefield possible without giving away any strategy. You also gain Pact Magic, giving you a few spell slots that always come back with a short rest. Unlike most multiclassing options, these slots do not mix with your wizard slots, though you can use one class’s slots to cast spells from the other class. Hex deals extra damage, yes, but we want it more for its secondary feature, forcing disadvantage on one kind of ability check for the duration. If someone is trying to climb after you, weaken their strength checks to force them to fall. If they’re trying to find a secret, weaken their intelligence or wisdom checks. Your Portents are powerful, but sometimes a weaker option can be just as useful. You can also use Protection from Evil and Good to prevent futures where an ally gets frightened, charmed, or possessed by extraplanar creatures for the next 10 minutes. This also forces disadvantage if those creatures try to target your ally.

Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations: small bonuses from the Foreign God to make your lostbelt experience unique. The Armor of Shadows lets you cast Mage Armor on yourself at will, greatly increasing your survivability against stray attacks your servants can’t take. Devil’s Sight gives you darkvision in both magical and nonmagical darkness. Sight is your greatest power, so anything that breaks your line of sight is a serious threat.

Warlock 3: At third level you gain a Pact Boon, and the Pact of the Tome is ideal for someone who needs plenty of spells, giving you an extra three cantrips as long as you wield the tome. Thorn Whip is another way to keep Sigurd back, pulling him 10’ towards you. Just make sure you use this on a friendly creature, you’re not built for melee. Druidcraft gives you an unfailing future sight, letting you know what the weather will be like for the next 24 hours, as well as other minor magical effects. You also gain Earthbind, locking flying enemies to the ground, preventing a future where they fly out of reach of your saber.

Warlock 4: For your next ASI, pick up the Chef feat so you can cook sweets for the entire crypter crew. You can give them extra healing over a short rest, and you can also spend an hour (or as part of your long rest) to create treats that can be eaten as a bonus action. Doing so grants your proficiency bonus in temporary HP, which is quite the boost given your normal amount of health.

Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells like Counterspell. In an ideal world, enemies wouldn’t cast spells at all. With counterspell, you can force your ideal into reality, shutting down spells lower than the level you cast automatically, or higher level spells with an ability check. You also get another invocation, and the Far Scribe invocation lets you write down names in your pact tome so you can cast Sending to those people without using a spell slot or any materials. You can keep a number of names equal to your proficiency modifier, so at level 20 you could keep in contact with every member of the crypters at once!

Warlock 6: At sixth level, goolocks gain an Entropic Ward, allowing you to force disadvantage on an incoming attack once per short rest. If it fails, you then gain advantage on your first attack against that creature on your next turn. The second part is just a bonus: you just want to live in a world where you don’t get skewered by an enemy servant. For another bonus, your final warlock spell is Spirit Shroud. The extra damage is tangential- we’re just here for the slow down effect on nearby creatures. Now you can drag Sigurd back to your side and make it harder for him to escape!

Wizard 8: Use this ASI to boost your warlock spells’ efficiency with additional Charisma. You can also Summon a Greater Demon now to gain control of your very own Sigurd! He will follow your commands, as long as he keeps failing his Charisma saves. Fortunately Tanarukk have particularly bad Charisma saves, so I doubt it will happen.

Wizard 9: If you’re a stickler for accuracy, you can instead Summon Draconic Spirit using your fifth level spell slots. Although you could argue this is actually less accurate, as this Sigurd doesn’t run the risk of stabbing you in the back… On a less controversial note, Contact Other Plane lets you get into contact with a being that isn’t explicitly a god, so RAW you can now talk to Surtr and ask him multiple questions. That being said, this spell comes with the risk of driving you insane if you fail an intelligence save. While insane, you can’t read, write, speak, or cast spells until you finish a long rest.

Wizard 10: Tenth level diviners have a Third Eye, giving you one of a variety of sight-based bonuses which you can swap out on a long rest. Darkvision isn’t particularly useful for you, but ethereal sight, seeing invisibility, or reading any language can all come in handy. You can also cast Dominate Person now. It turns out when the Fate says “evocation”, what they mean is “summoning spirits”, not fireballs. This allows you to summon a spirit that then possesses a person, giving you direct control over their actions.

Wizard 11: Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells. True Seeing allows you to see through illusions and invisibility, as well as into the ethereal plane. It’s almost every Third Eye option in one long-range package, though it is rather expensive to use in multiple ways.

Wizard 12: Use this last ASI to maximize your Intelligence for the best and largest spell list you can have.

Wizard 13: For our last spell worth mentioning, the seventh level spell Project Image can be very useful, allowing you to act through an illusory copy of yourself anywhere you’ve been before within 500 miles of your current location. That barely lets you leave Scandinavia, but it should be more than enough to work in a D&D setting. This way you can communicate holographically with the other crypters, and you can even use your portents through the illusion, as you can see from the spot the illusion is standing.

Wizard 14: Our last level of this build grants us a Greater Portent. What makes this portent so great? Simple. You now have a third roll each day.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

You are incredibly good at shutting down opponent’s options. Are they skill based? You have a spell. Trying to escape? You have a spell. Flying? Spell. Casting? Spell. Attacking? Spell. Not only can you shut down someone, you can shut them down in just about any way possible so the only victory that can ever happen is your own.

You’re also extremely useful for communicating over long distances, with Far Scribe and Project Image giving you a frightening amount of reach, as well Contact Other Plane even allowing you to pierce planar barriers. You’re also hard to keep secrets from with a metric load of options to root out illusions and hidden objects.

You’re especially good at controlling enemies’ movement, preventing them from going anywhere you don’t want them. With plant growth reducing them to a fifth of their normal speed they’ll be completely helpless before your Grasping Vine.

Cons:

You are one of the weakest builds we’ve ever had, defensively speaking. You have an AC of 14 and under 90 HP. I mean, that’s accurate, considering you’re a human and every other build we’ve made was a servant, but it’s probably not that fun to play. Thank goodness you’ve got advantage against death saving throws.

Despite being a divination wizard, you have very few divination spells. It’s not a massive weakness, but it does mean your sixth level doesn’t do much. (Why on earth is Sending an evocation spell anyway??)

Entropic Ward and the Invocations are useful, but it’s hard to justify missing out on ninth level spells. We also had to put points into charisma that were sorely needed in other stats, feeding back into con #1.

[panlight]

submission: renesmee

Renesmee may be an interesting character, but I would change a few things:

1. No imprinting: because it is bizarre and disgusting.

2. Name: she would probably be Elizabeth or Catherine.

3. Growth: I find it much more interesting to explore the time of a normal pregnancy, 9 months, and the standard growth of a human being than “7 years to reach maturity”. I would let her reach the age / physiognomy of 25-29 years. At least, she wouldn’t have to repeat high school forever, but maybe college.

4. Without supernatural powers: I see no use in its power for the development of history. She would still be faster and stronger than a human being, but not as much as a vampire.

5. Diet: I think the vampire aspect of the TVD series is really cool, so she would suffer something like that. Enjoying human food is feasible, however, needing blood to stay young. It would be funny to me if she was like Dracula, who without human blood, looked like an elderly woman.

6. Without immortality: she is not entirely a vampire, so something along the lines of The Old Guard (2020) would be interesting. She can live 300 or even 2000 years, but one day, when she gets hurt, her body would no longer regenerate and she would end up dying. I think she would give a perspective on life, to live more intensely, knowing that her time is limited and not like that of the other Cullens.

7. Affected by the sun: it would not shine or burn, but if it was too exposed, for example, for about 20 minutes or more, it would start bleeding from the nose, mouth and ears, and would have an intense headache too . Something like Let the Right One In (2008).

8. It can hurt itself, but it would heal much faster than a normal human being.

What do you think?

I agree–Elizabeth is the obvious name choice, and fits so much better with the Cullen names aesthetic, and will blend in with human society better, plus so many nicknames to chose from, she could change it up every few decades! Liz, Lizzy, Eliza, Bess, Betty, Betsy, Beth, Ella … We could even keep the “nickname Bella doesn’t like” thing if someone starts calling her “Lizzard.” 

Her power is pretty useless in the practical sense–it really serves no purpose other than, in those (what? few days?) before she could magically talk in full sentences, she could ‘show’ her caregivers what she wanted/needed. Another fantasy for a tired parent, I’m sure! But it’s useless in battle, it won’t help protect the family, etc. They used to to convince the witnesses by showing them the “truth” but I’m not sure why they were convinced when they also knew Zafrina, who can make you see things that aren’t real. 

The story would also be so much more profound and bittersweet (and beautiful) if Renesmee were not immortal. Long-lived, sure.  Immortal, no. Bella never learns a lesson about mortality, no one she actually cares about dies over the course of the story. She didn’t know Bree or Riley for more than a few minutes. She didn’t know Irina (although the rest of the Cullens did). Getting to live forever but having her daughter live some version of a mortal life could be really sad but also lovely. That quote at the beginning of BD is about how “childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.” Bella, as a deathless vampire surrounded by immortals, is in that Kingdom; Renesmee as a mortal would change that. 

[poemsforpersephone]

Over the course of the past year I’ve read over 70 books. Some haven’t quite lived up to expectations but the 10 below stuck in my mind for long enough to make it onto this list. I’ve written a few details about each to explain why they stuck with me and why I think you should give them a shot. 

The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley

Rating: 4.5/5

Brief Synopsis: In 1859, ex-East India Company smuggler Merrick Tremayne is trapped at home in Cornwall after sustaining an injury that almost cost him his leg and something is wrong; a statue moves, his grandfather’s pines explode, and his brother accuses him of madness. When the India Office recruits Merrick for an expedition to fetch quinine—essential for the treatment of malaria—from deep within Peru, he knows it’s a terrible idea. Nearly every able-bodied expeditionary who’s made the attempt has died, and he can barely walk. But Merrick is desperate to escape everything at home, so he sets off, against his better judgment, for a tiny mission colony on the edge of the Amazon where a salt line on the ground separates town from forest.

Favourite Quote: “There are things you wouldn’t do, if you had a motherless child waiting at home. Or with you. Places where you would turn back.”

Why This Book: I’m not usually a fan of historical books, but I absolutely loved this one. The way the world is written, the characters, the unfolding of the plot. Everything just worked together so well. Not sure if it’s canon queer or not but there is strong m/m relationship vibes from two of the characters, like in my eyes they romantically loved each other, im just not sure if it was intended that way by the author or not.

The Wicked King and The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black

Rating: 5

Brief Synopsis: (of the first book in the series, for context) Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King.

Favourite Quote: ““If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying.”

Why These Books: The entire series is just pure gold. The audibooks are fantastic, but more than anything it’s the story, and the voice of the main character, and of her family and enemies. I love books which work along fey story lines and worlds, so this was perfect for me. f/f secondary character relationship.

The Nowhere Girls by Amy Reed

Rating: 5

Brief Synopsis: Three misfits come together to avenge the rape of a fellow classmate and in the process trigger a change in the misogynist culture at their high school transforming the lives of everyone around them in this searing and timely story.

Favourite Quote: “One small kindness in a sea of cruelty, one word of truth among lies, these are the seeds that can change the world.”

Why This Book: Jesus christ this BOOK. Girls protecting girls is literally my most favourite thing in the entire world. Coming together, standing together, fighting together. And diversity too! If you add girls protecting girls and queer girls into the same book you officially have my heart. I have goosebumps covering my arms and my heart is aching just thinking about this book.

The Last Sun and The Hanged Man by K.D. Edwards

Rating: 5 (who am I kidding, it’s a clear cut 10/5. I can’t put into words how much i love this series).

Brief Synopsis: Rune Saint John, last child of the fallen Sun Court, is hired to search for Lady Judgment's missing son, Addam, on New Atlantis, the island city where the Atlanteans moved after ordinary humans destroyed their original home.

Favourite Quote: uhhh can i like, list the entire contents of two whole books here? no? huh. alright. ““Didn’t you know what his father was like—what kind of ability Rune has inherited? Those aren’t just shoes to fill, it’s the whole fucking shoe factory. Don’t you ever doubt whether he can do what he says.”

Why These Books: They hit every single trope I love, the writing is fantastic and witty, and characters jump from the page and the plot keeps you ensnared and engrossed. The world is alive, and to top it off, the author is super nice and interacts with the fandom, which is always nice to see. m/m.

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Rating: 5

Brief Synopsis: What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales?

Favourite Quote: “That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

Why This Book: Where do I even start? How do I sum up everything I feel for this book in one single paragraph? I cannot write down the noises of joy I made throughout reading it. I can't draw either of the two times i actually hugged it. This book. God. This book. Just go read it, okay? m/m.

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Rating: 5

Brief Synopsis: A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.

Favourite Quote: “All the world is a cage in a young girl's eyes.”

Why This Book: It’s massive, an actual tomb that could damage someone if you hit them with it, and from start to finish it ensnared me with its rich world and realistic characters and AND!!! The diversity!!!! The women in this book!!! I wanna marry them all!!!!!!!! I’ll be their loving wife as long as they’ll have me!!!!!!!! like legit the definition of "i would let that woman step on me" im so gay for them ALL. f/f.

Salt Magic Skin Magic by Lee Welch

Rating: 4

Brief Synopsis: Lord Thornby has been trapped on his father’s isolated Yorkshire estate for a year. There are no bars or chains; he simply can’t leave. His sanity is starting to fray. When industrial magician John Blake arrives to investigate a case of witchcraft, he finds the peculiar, arrogant Thornby as alarming as he is attractive. John soon finds himself caught up in a dark fairytale, where all the rules of magic—and love—are changed.

Why This Book: I absolutely devoured this book. I listened to the audio book version on 1.5 speed most of the way through and even popped into 1.75 and 2 speed because I needed to know what happened so badly. I had my suspicions and they were proved correct and it was so beautiful and lovely. m/m and absolutely wonderful.

The Deathless Girls by Kiran Millwood Hargave

Rating: 4/5

Brief Synopsis: On the eve of her divining, the day she'll discover her fate, seventeen-year-old Lil and her twin sister Kizzy are captured and enslaved by the cruel Boyar Valcar, taken far away from their beloved traveller community.

Favourite Quote: “I could see the roots of the trees below me seeking water, and the leaves above me seeking sun.”

Why This Book: Beautifully crafted, effortlessly enthralling and dark like vampire stories should be. I’m torn about the ending but the lead up? The characters? The plot? All so well put together. The bond between the two sisters was strong, well written and beautiful. It’s f/f also, which is awesome.

[cyberkevvideo]

Throne of Night Theory Builds Part 20: The Ghostly Dwarven Guard

I was releasing these on a daily basis, but then realized that I only have a few of these left to do, and that’s stretching things. I’ve already got the skeleton for the next two done up, with the second one being something really far out.

So because of that, I’m slowing things down some. This is doubly important because I’ve got a doctor’s appointment coming up that will make or break my life this year. Most won’t know, but I haven’t been working for almost year because my body’s so messed up. It has been for even longer than that, but it got so bad three years ago that I was unable to do regular work. Last year, my body got so bad I could barely stand. Well, we think we might know what’s finally happening and I’m getting tested for it this week. I’m excited for what might potentially be the best news I’ve heard in almost seven years. On top of that, mom got her radiation appointment, so she can finally continue her battle with cancer. Just one good thing after the other. Considering how crazy 2020 has been, we could definitely use some.

I am hoping that everyone is staying healthy and safe.

Time to get into things.

For space reasons, I’ll be cropping the encounter build.

All images shared here were done by the forever fantastic and amazingly talented Michael D. Clarke, aka SpiralMagus

EDIT: Made the weapon and armor out of gunzarak.

While I’m not 100% sure if the exact picture would have been in Book 3, the story definitely is. Like the giant dwarves I did previously, the story about this NPC is brought up in the synopsis of Book 3. On May 5th, 2013, the update talked about two factions. The first faction were mutated and augmented dwarves, warped and twisted. The second faction were potential allies, and were the spirits of the High Kings of the dwarves (called the “dwarven ancenstor-ghosts” for the drow side of the AP).

Because Book 3 was supposed to be levels 10-13, and there’s the potential of more than one ghost, having them be CR 10 seemed reasonable. There’s also the possibilities of them being ectoplasm creatures from Occult Adventures, but the picture definitely screamed “ghost” to me. I didn’t figure on a dwarf becoming a wight, shadow, or other kind of standard undead. I mean, they’re supposed to be “spirits”, afterall. Also, unless you have ghost touch weapons, incorporeal undead are going to be difficult to deal with. And as allies? Yeah. Most encounters would get stomped by these guys, even with magic weapons, assuming the enemies have any.

For this guy, he’s obviously using armor and an axe. Ghosts can use them unless they’re ghost touch as well. Short of making the items actually ghost touch, because what are the chances, I took from a 3PP source and gave this guy the ability to have items he once wore be ghost touch. I made sure to leave the link at the bottom. Thankfully d20pfsrd was kind of enough to make it known to us all. It should be noted that ghosts don’t have a Strength score. Even if they use ghost touch weapons. Period. Instead, as per the incorporeal universal monster rules, they use their Dexterity to swing them around. However, unless the ghost originally was an unchained rogue of 3rd level or higher, the Slashing Grace feat with a longsword, or are using an agile weapon, they cannot add their Dex to damage. That said, there is nothing saying that feats and class abilities that boost damage, as well as the weapon’s enhancement bonus, don’t work. So if you’re curious about the damage, that’s how I’m getting away with it. As for the close weapons, when he was alive, this dwarf used his gauntlets to punch whenever he was in a grapple. Ghosts don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff.

Other than his gear, the first thing I noticed was the helmet and the runes. Likely dwarven over archaic. It makes me curious as to what it says though. That and the “Z” on the gauntlets. Might just be the stamp of creator.

When the PCs finally manage to complete Book 3 and start the coronation for the next dwarven king, the thought process was that this particular ghost might give up his weapon and armor. For PCs, having deathless armor would be fantastic.

THE LAST FAITHFUL GUARD    (CR 10; 9,600 XP) Male variant ghost dwarf fighter 9 LN Medium undead (incorporeal) Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +9 DEFENSE AC 24, touch 17, flat-footed 21 (+7 armor, +4 deflection, +2 Dex, +1 dodge) hp 108 (9d10+54) Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +6; +2 vs. fear, poison, spells, and spell-like abilities Defensive Abilities bravery +2, channel resistance +4, defensive training (+4 dodge bonus to AC vs. giants), incorporeal traits, rejuvenation; DR 3/—; Immune undead traits OFFENSE Speed fly 30 ft. (perfect) Melee +1 ghost touch guardian gunzarak dwarven waraxe +15/+10 (1d10+5/×3) or     corrupting touch +11 (10d6; F-DC 18 half) Special Attacks hatred (+1 on attack rolls against goblinoid and orc humanoids), telekinesis (CL 12th, every 1d4 rounds), weapon training (axes +2, close +1) STATISTICS Str —, Dex 14, Con —, Int 12, Wis 16, Cha 18 Base Atk +9; CMB +9; CMD 26 (30 vs. bull rush and vs. trip) Feats Blind-Fight, Combat ReflexesB, Dazzling Display, DodgeB, DisruptiveB, Lighting Reflexes, Step Up, Toughness, Weapon Focus (dwarven waraxe)B, Weapon Specialization (dwarven waraxe)B Skills Climb +12, Fly +10, Intimidate +17, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +8, Knowledge (engineering) +7, Knowledge (religion) +5, Perception +9 (+11 to notice unusual stonework), Sense Motive +9, Stealth +10, Survival +10; Racial Modifiers +8 Fly, +8 Perception, +8 Stealth Languages Common, Dwarven, Undercommon SQ armor training 2, eternal warrior, stonecunning Gear +1 ghost touch deathless gunzarak breastplate, +1 ghost touch guardian gunzarak dwarven waraxe SPECIAL ABILITIES Corrupting Touch (Su) By passing part of its incorporeal body through a foe’s body as a standard action, the ghost inflicts 9d6 damage. This damage is not negative energy—it manifests in the form of physical wounds and aches from supernatural aging. Creatures immune to magical aging are immune to this damage, but otherwise the damage bypasses all forms of damage reduction. A Fortitude save halves the damage inflicted. Eternal Warrior (Su) The ghost died in righteous battle. The ghost may choose to treat any weapon, armor, or shield with which it is proficient as though it had the ghost touch weapon quality. Rejuvenation (Su) In most cases, it’s difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: the “destroyed” spirit restores itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. The only way to permanently destroy a ghost is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research. Special Wealth CR The ghostly dwarf has a gunzarak weapon and set of armor, which puts him above the standard wealth for NPCs of his level. However, this does not grant him much in the way of a mechanical benefit, therefore it does not increase his CR.

Gunzarak (true mithral) special material.

-------------------------------

Sources: Variant special attacks come from Spenser Isdahl http://rocksfalleveryonedies.blogspot.com/2010/10/ghostly-manifestations.html

[eddycurrents]

Koshchei the Deathless - Chapter One

Story: Mike Mignola | Art: Ben Stenbeck | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in Koshchei the Deathless #1 | December 2017

Collected in Koshchei the Deathless

Plot Summary:

While in Hell, Koshchei and Hellboy catch up and Koshchei starts telling his origin story.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issues or collections.)

pg. 1 - I like starting on the end of the fight between Koshchei and Hellboy from Darkness Calls. Not only does it show one of the classic battles from the series again, it’s an interesting structure to begin with an end before going back to tell how everything actually started.

pg. 3 - It’s also kind of interesting to see Koshchei showing regret for his actions during that fight, even though for the most part he was under the control of Baba Yaga.

pg. 4 - The idea of two enemies, or at least two people who were once in opposition of one another, sitting in Hell, having a drink, and swapping stories is wonderful. 

Also, I love how once again in Hell, Dave Stewart is colouring everything as muted greys and browns. That the world here has basically lost its colour.

pg. 5 - It’s funny that for someone who is “Deathless”, his stories keep starting with him dying. At least for a little while. Between this and the back-ups from Wild Hunt, I quite like the mix between classic Koshchei folktales and Mignola’s own elaboration on them.

pg. 6 - A skeleton riding a bear, a drunk pig wearing a fur coat...the characters in the dragon’s company could probably fill a series or two with their own stories.

pg. 7 - The interplay of colour and shadow here, just showcasing the sheer brutality of Koshchei’s march is incredible. I also quite like how Stenbeck and Stewart are setting up different visual themes that are repeated through the cyclical nature of this story.

pg. 9 - The third time Koshchei has died in this very chapter. It’s kind of habit forming, it seems.

pg. 10 - Death warning the dragon about this should have perhaps been heeded.

pg. 11 - The elaborate hiding of Koshchei’s soul within things is one of the key parts of the Russian folktale. It’s bizarre as hell, but it works.

pg. 12 - Can you really blame him for getting revenge on the people who killed him?

pg. 13 - I love the symbolism here of Koshchei damning himself and losing his soul through the imagery of leaves falling from the tree that houses all of the nesting dolls of animals.

pg. 14 - In many studies of Russian folklore, they tend to paint Koshchei and Baba Yaga as representative of similar themes and archetypes, never to appear in one another’s stories, but sometimes thought of as being siblings or different sides of the same coin. It’s always been interesting that Mignola brings the two of them together, and establishes a kind of pecking order.

pg. 16 - Would you trust the woman with keeping your heart pure who lives in the chicken-legged house surround by a fence of child skulls?

pg. 18 - This integration into the Hellboy mythos itself is fairly subtle. If you didn’t know a thing about the nature of the Watchers and the Ogdru Jahad, this is a fairly straightforward fantasy set-up for some of the origins of the universe that fit right on in with the Koshchei story.

It’s also an interesting manipulation of Koshchei, because it doesn’t appear like she’s sending him off to fight the Ogdru Jahad, but pushing him towards possibly slaughtering his own adoptive father. It’s kind of an insidious lie that has a bit of truth, but is ultimately pushing Koshchei further towards damnation.

pg. 19 - A ball of string guiding people brings to mind the myth of Ariadne and the Minotaur.

pg. 22 - It’s rather cruel that instead of just leaving the rest of his army, to enact Baba Yaga’s plan, all of them also need to be killed. You’d think he’d realize that maybe this isn’t the best course of action to “save” himself.

Final Thoughts:

This series is easily one of my favourites in all of the Hellboy universe. Not only does it follow up on two of the other best movements in the ongoing narrative, from the Arthurian trilogy and Hellboy in Hell, it also takes a deep dive into the Russian folklore that fuelled both Koshchei and Baba Yaga’s inclusion into the story and presents it in a new and fascinating way. The level of sheer storytelling here is beautiful.

All wrapped up in gorgeous artwork from Ben Stenbeck and Dave Stewart that comes on like a fusion of what came before from Duncan Fegredo and Mike Mignola visually.

d. emerson eddy does not live in a house with chicken legs.

[inkandcarnage]

baby's breath, buttercup, calla, geranium, lavender, marigold, peony, periwinkle, violet !! :)))))

Babys breath: I wanted to be either a veterinarian or a rock star. I actually remember packing this tiny suitcase one time and when my mom caught me, I told her I was going to L.A(pretty sure I thought it was going to be a la Axl Rose from the Welcome to the Jungle video)

Buttercup: 1. My dog. She's a literal goddamn angel sent to bless us mere mortals with her doggo presence. 2. Fandoms. Being able to escape from real world bullshit with any form of art that someone created is amazing. 3. Sushi. I legit do a full-body happy dance wiggle when I have it and someone saying sushi makes my mouth water. 4. Any display of the better traits of human beings:kindness, empathy, etc. We're bombarded with the shitty side of it daily from multiple sources so any story of people making an effort to not be an asshole makes me happy and restores my faith in humanity just a tad. 5. Music. It was a huge part of my identity in my teens and 20s, and now i rely on it as a spoonie during my health episodes.

Calla: it was really hard to try to pick a favorite book. It was a tie between The Blue Sword by Robin Mckinley and Deathless by Catherynne Valente. The Blue Sword was a great girl power story for me and there were horses and magic and myterious Kings...what wasnt there to love? Deathless is one of my favorite tropes of death and the maiden and the language in it is just beautiful.

Geranium: my day has been good. I did a lot of cleaning/organizing so I could write in peace but havent quite started the writing part yet ;) its been a good health day too so I can't complain. Hopefully will get some writing done tonight too.

Lavender: ohhhh geeze, I have no idea. I don't recieve a lot of gifts and usually the ones from family are misguided lol. It's going to sound cheesy, but think I'd have to say any engaged comment on my fics. Its the gift that keeps on giving, when I'm down about anything, I re-read them. When I need motivation to write, I re-read them. When I need a reminder that there's anyone actually looking at my stuff, I re-read them.

Marigold: There's a lot I'd like to do more. I'd like to work out more and be more physical. On Feastgiving I was suckered into watching wrestling and while I'm not a huge fan, the female wrestlers awed me with their physiques and I'd love to be that strong. I'd like to write more. I used to write constantly and over the last few months I feel like the drive is just gone, even though I have several stories to finish.

Peony: inkandcarnage is from this satirical article

I felt totally called out by the first part of this and thought writing basically is ink and carnage.

Periwinkle: I'm most thankful for the medication I take in that it helps make my life as normal as possible. After that, I'm thankful for my mom.

Violet: 1 thing people don't know about me is that I was adopted after being abandoned as a baby in Turkey. My adoptive mother saved my life since I would have died in the orphanage otherwise.

Thanks for the asks!

[gunterfan1992]

What Became of Marcy and PB?

I thoroughly enjoyed the finale, but I was left with one nagging question that is still bothering me: what became of Marcy and PB? I’m not talking about their relationship status. (The epilogue of the episode makes it pretty clear that they ended up as a happy couple.) I’m talking about 1000 years in the future.

In an interview with TVLine, executive producer Adam Muto noted, "I don’t want to lay out their entire future ... but there are enough pieces there that you can kind of construct what their life will be like going forward.” If that’s the case, then let us follow the hints and try to figure out what became of our two favorite (quasi-)immortals.

Reader be warned: this post is full of half-baked conspiracy theories and cherry-picked data points, all assembled in a way that vindicates my theory that Marceline and Bubblegum are still alive in Ooo 1000+. I make no claim that this is 100% full-proof. I just don’t want to believe that they are dead!

Let’s start with the King of Ooo: BMO. After Beth and Shermy question the robot about what happened to Marceline, Bubblegum, Finn, and Jake, BMO responds that they “kept living their lives.” This, combined with the fact that Marceline no longer lives in her house and the Candy Kingdom is in ruins, suggests that the two are dead. But while this answer might seems obvious, it leaves a lot to be desired.

First off, Marceline’s cave-house being abandoned is not indicative of anything too major. Remember, she used to live in the Tree Fort before eventually abandoning it, too. By the time that Ooo 1000+ rolled around, she could have easily moved to another locale. In fact, I would argue evidence within the episode suggests that sometime (probably awhile) after the Tree Fort was destroyed, Marceline gave her cave-house to Finn, Jake, and BMO, and then likely moved in with PB (given that at the end of Stakes, Bubblegum offers to let her move into her castle, an offer which Marceline initially declines, but implies she might one day take up). Not only would this be thematically fitting, as it was she who “gave” Finn and Jake the Tree Fort in the first place, but it would also explain how some of Finn and Jake’s belongings found a home at the house (1) and how BMO came to be in possession of a few of Marceline’s items, like her DARE shirt, sunscreen, or Simon’s broken glasses. These were items that Marceline probably didn’t care that much about (2) and consequently left behind when she moved.

Perhaps a bigger issue is that Marceline, for all intents and purposes, can’t easily die—if at all. She is immortal, and while she has her weaknesses, it’s unclear if they truly are lethal weaknesses: we’ve seen her survive being exposed to sunlight (“Henchman”, “What Was Missing”), cut in half (Stakes, “Everything Stays”), bombarded with garlic (”Henchman”), and poisoned (Stakes, “May I Come In?”). You might be asking, ‘The previous Vampire King was killed? Could not someone have staked Marceline, too?’ Unlikely. We know from Stakes that the Moon—the vampire from whom Marceline derived her healing powers—could survive being staked in the heart (remember, she was only defeated when Marceline absorbed her vampiric essence, not when she was staked). Marceline absorbed the Moon’s power, therefore it follows that Marceline can’t die from being staked. Perhaps Marceline had her vampiric essence removed by Bubblegum, and she grew old and died, just like her fever dreams in Stakes? While this is certainly a possibility (we know that Bubblegum can remove the Vampiric Essence from Marceline, given that we have seen her do it), it negates the main themes in Stakes, which focused on Marceline coming to terms with her immortality and learning to love her lot in life. If Marceline can die even in her undead state, then all the suffering unleashed upon Ooo during Stakes was for naught, and that just doesn’t seem like something Adventure Time would do.

And what of Bubblegum? We know that Bubblegum’s biological age is correlated with her candy biomass (“Mortal Recoil”, “Too Young”). This means that her “rate of mortality [is] decouple[ed] … from chronological age,” heavily suggesting that she is ‘biologically immortal’. This concept—which is a real thing, fyi—does not mean that she can’t die, just that she won’t die from old age (3). Thus, she likely lived hundreds of years into the future after the age of Finn and Jake, probably into the Graybles 1000+ world. This is implied by the state of the Prizeball Guardian: it looks rather pristine, in comparison to pretty much the entirety of Ooo, suggesting it is a somewhat new creation. Given that the guardian was almost certainly created by Bubblegum (I mean, just look at it), and the guardian is new-looking, it suggests that Bubblegum herself was alive at least recently (4). (This is also suggested by admittedly non-canon drawings that Steve Wolfhard made clearly showing his belief that Bubblegum is alive in the Ooo 1000+ world.)

Given that Bubblegum cannot die readily from old age, the only other thing that could have killed her, I argue, would be some sort of calamity. Ooo 1000+ looks pretty wrecked, and was not the Candy Kingdom destroyed? Yes, and in both “Lemonhope” and the intro to “Come Along with Me”, we catch glimpses of the ruins! But, if one peruses the storyboard of “Lemonhope II”, one will notice Tom Herpich’s purposeful note that the kingdom is “abandoned (not bombed out)” [emphasis added]. Indeed, the kingdom looks overgrown and desolate, but not like the site of a war zone (e.g. the main citadel is mostly intact, and a number of skyskrapers are unscathed, unlike others we’ve seen that we know were caught in the crossfire of war). This, coupled with the fact that the Prizeball Guardian exists suggests that, rather than having her kingdom extinguished in a war, Bubblegum loaded up her citizens into the Guardian, put them in what is effectively cryogenic sleep, and then abandoned her old realm (5). Why? We’ll come to that in a second.

But before we jump into that, let me entertain the idea that Marceline and Bubblegum are dead and living together somewhere in the afterlife, say, the 50th Dead World. While a sweet idea, it is complicated by the fact that Bubblegum is the embodiment of the candy elemental, and will almost certainly be reincarnated in the future. [I now enter into headcanon territory] Also, Marceline is the daughter of the Lord of the Nightosphere, a deathless entity. Given how much he wanted Marceline to “take over the family business” (“Daddy’s Little Monster”), do you think he’d really let her succumb to a mortal’s demise? Almost certainly, he would have had a few words with Death. While this is extrapolation beyond the text, I think it’s worth thinking about.

Now, let us jump back into the main discussion by considering BMO’s collection of Ooo memorabilia. Eagle-eyed viewers will note that BMO’s trove of junk is made up almost entirely of bits and pieces from the show’s past: including Finn and Jake’s clock, a King of Ooo figurine, Simon’s glasses, Carol’s elf drawings, Ice King’s drums, and a collection of princess crowns. While a handful of the items almost assuredly belonged to Marceline (e.g. Simon’s glasses, sunscreen the DARE shirt) and Bubblegum (e.g. one of the crowns), there is one item of immense sentimental value missing: Marceline’s ax bass. Surely, if BMO were to keep sentimental reminders of previous friends (notice, BMO has both the shattered remnants of the Finn and Jake clock, as well as Jake’s favorite cup, which has been glued back together) the robot would have kept the vampire queen’s most prized possession? Its absence suggests one of four things: a) Marceline is still alive and in possession of the bass, or Marceline was killed and the bass was b) buried somewhere (a la Finn’s robot arm or as a grave marker), c) carted off by scavengers, or d) returned to the Nightosphere. All are viable possibilities, but the fact that BMO tracked down some rather valuable items (GGGG��s groovy Martian headgear, the crowns of power, etc.), it seems strange that the robot could not have also tracked down the bass, given that BMO liked Marceline (“Ketchup”) and probably knew how much the instrument meant to her (based on their interactions in “What Was Missing” and “Ketchup”).

Given all the issues above, there is one answer that I believe solves the mystery: Marceline and Bubblegum are both alive, but have chosen to abandon the portions of Ooo that we know. Perhaps they are off exploring on their own, or perhaps they have left Earth far behind. Why would Bubblegum abandon her realm? Simple. She was ‘tired’. She expressed these exact same sentiments in “Varmints”, only after her citizens had ‘voted her out of office’. Perhaps by the time Ooo 1000+ rolls around, Bubblegum was once again exhausted by the duties of office (having ruled for 1800 years), but decided to leave on her own terms. Simply abandoning her kingdom would have caused it to quickly collapse (cf. “The Pajama War”), and every time she created and/or appointed a successor, they turned into a tyrant (”Too Young”, “Goliad”, “Bonnibel Bubblegum”). Thus, the only option left was to load up her citizens in a device that would keep them safe until she eventually returned at some point in the future to resume control of her realm.

But could not the Prizeball Guardian simply be a defense mechanism in case the kingdom is attacked and/or Bubblegum is killed? Possibly, but cryogenically preserving candy citizens would do them no good if their creator—the one who could wake them up and then take care of them after some calamity—was gone (consider, for instance, that during times of war or natural disaster, governments don’t load up refugees onto buses, anesthetize them, and then drive them around in circles for decades). Indeed, the Prizeball Guardian seems less like a disaster-evasion project and more like a stasis chamber to keep the candy people safe until some future time. The storyboard for “Graybles 1000+” seems to back this up: when Crunchy is removed from stasis, he mumbles, “What time is it? Did it work?” In other words, it is as if Crunchy was expecting to be displaced in time and to be revived at some future date, rather than simply ‘saved’ (7).

The theory that Marceline and Bubblegum are still out there sidesteps many of the problems we have considered. It explains why some of Marceline’ stuff was picked up by BMO, whereas other items of greater sentimental value (e.g. the ax bass) are missing. Likewise, it nicely explains what happened to the Candy Kingdom. But where did Marceline or Bubblegum go? That is the real question. Perhaps they hopped down to the Nightosphere (unlikely), or perhaps they set off to find parts unknown. Maybe the went to Mars. (There’s even substantial evidence that they might be in the finale’s intro sequence!) The Oooniverse is pretty much unlimited, meaning that so too are the possibilities. Given that the Prizeball Guardian was designed to one day ‘wake up’ all the candy citizens, it is likely that Bubblegum (and Marceline) will one day return to Ooo, but for now, they are outies.

Still not convinced? Think I’m grasping at straws? Then let me present one final piece of evidence. Into 2016, Cartoon Network released a bonus video on their YouTube channel that features Marceline singing a song about “someone kind of special” to her. This song is a cover/reworking of the shows ending theme, "Come Along with Me”, in which Marceline lovingly intones:

Run away with me And the poltergeists and ghouls. We can wander through the darkness And play by our own rules.

Run away with me To a cavern shaped like home Where we'll build our own forever And never dance alone.

[emphasis added]

While rife with similes and rich language, the lyrics of the songs are pretty easy to decipher: Marceline cares deeply about someone and yearns to literally run off with them, living forever in a state of happiness. And what’s the name of this song? Why, the “Happy Ending Song”! While one could argue that the song isn’t canon and thus shouldn’t be considered as evidence (6), I think it nicely foretells what Marceline and Bubblegum‘s future holds. For one thing, the song is a play on "Come Along with Me", which in many ways is canonically 'prescient', as it is the song that plays during the montage depicting the future of Ooo's citizens. By alluding to and building off this tune, I would argue that "Happy Ending Song" arguably absorbs some of the original’s 'prescient' nature post facto (8). For another, the very last shot shows two feminine figures silhouetted against the setting sun, holding hands. Notice that this shot follows the lyrics and Marceline’s dialogue, subtly implying that it is depicting some future event. Ultimately, both the imagery in the video and the lyrics themselves hint heavily that Marceline and her paramour (which the series finale finally confirms to be Bubblegum) end up living together happily, free from the cares of modern society, as they “build [their] own forever” [emphasis added]. This nicely echoes what Marceline told Bubblegum at the end of Stakes: “Now, I guess we get to hang out together forever.”

Long story short: I believe that Marceline and Bubblegum are still alive and kicking, but have left Ooo far behind.

Footnotes

1. For instance, the the weird diving bell that used to hang from the Tree Fort is on the porch. While Marceline certainly lived in the Tree Fort at some point in the past, it's not entirely clear why she would've hauled this item all the way to her house and then abandoned it. It's more likely that it was scavenged by Finn and Jake, who arguably had a much more sentimental attachment to the old fort.

2. But Marceline loved Simon like a father! Why would she leave behind his glasses? Likely because these glasses were the ones that Simon wore while he and Marceline wandered the wasteland (you can tell because the left lens is broken). When he was returned to his normal state, he likely got new glasses, and these older ones were forgotten about.

3. While Bubblegum fully admits in “Goliad” that she will likely one day die, it is heavily implied that she believes her death will come from some horrible accident (like the Lich possession), rather than just old age. Furthermore, Bubblegum and Marceline’s discussions about mortality in Stakes suggests that Bubblegum would outlive Marceline were the latter to turn into a mortal. Remember, that in Farmworld, Marceline lived 1000 years as a mortal before she was killed by the Mutagenic Bomb. This means that Marceline as a mortal in Ooo Prime would likely live 1000 after turning mortal again (with the 1000 years she lived as a vampire not counting, since she was essentially ‘stuck’ at age ~20). Putting these puzzle pieces together suggests that Bubblegum believes she can easily live another 1000 years.

4. Notice also that in “Graybles 1000+”, the interior of the Guardian is dark but not dusty or abandoned. In fact, it looks quite well-lived in (and the storyboard for that episode, described as “cozy”); this suggests that someone was living here not too long ago. Given Bubblegum’s love of knowledge (note that books are strewn about as if they were recently read), and the portrait of the candy kingdom on the wall, it is heavily suggested that Bubblegum herself was the one who was occupying the space.

5. You might asking: what about Neddy and his love of the Candy Kingdom tree? Is not the tree dead in “Lemonhope”? Yes, but you will also notice that on the Prizeball Guardian, there are trees very similar to that which grew out of the Kingdom’s main tower.

6. The song was neither featured in nor written for a specific episodes, per Adam Muto. However, because Muto is very good about confirming/denying what is and is not canon (e.g. “The Adventure Time comics are as canonical as a Funko Pop”), the fact that his answer does not immediately decanonize the song is notable. Furthermore, the song is sung by Olivia Olson (that is, the official voice actress of Marceline), and the video even features new footage (albeit, mostly composed of flash-edited scenes from “Marceline’s Closet”).

7. Also, consider how hopelessly bleak and cruel it would be for the Prizeball Guardian to have been destroyed in “Graybles 1000+” if Bubblegum isn’t around anymore. The candy citizens would either sleep for eternity, or die a la 2001: A Space Odyssey. Neither fits with the arguably bittersweet (but certainly not mean-spirited) world of Adventure Time.

8. Perhaps this is why Marceline ends her song by noting it is an example of how "totally deep" she can be.

* As an aside, I also like the idea that Bubblegum, before she left, gave her crown to BMO (after all, were PB to have effectively abandoned her post, she would have no longer needed the crown), jokingly anointing the robot the “One True King of Ooo”, or something like that. It’s fitting that a joke like this would be taken up by BMO and turned into a veritable legend. It would also serve as one last dig against the charlatan King of Ooo, whom we know Bubblegum hated.