#thats what makes it a fun challenge though
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HI I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE TO READ THIS PART !!!! :))
(also this might be my longest rb so far)
SIX UPON A TIME
"You werenât sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick." - let's kiss him on the mouth đŤśđť
"A reason to get up in the morning." - SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.
"But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus." - No I can't do thisÂ
"Maybe thatâs the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that heâs safe. " - Nika I'm fucking crying. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm actually fucking crying before 10pm.
"But it seems like you havenât known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You canât even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasnât been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if itâs never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real? " - the woman that you are. Oh. My. God. You are completely unreal this is phenomenal.
"His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place youâve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesnât move away. He doesnât laugh, either." - I have actual tears in my eyes you are so evilÂ
"That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesnât have time to reach his eyes, though." - Nika I'm fucking sick to my stomach what the fuck is wrong with youÂ
Brief intermission bc I got too into it and read the rest twice before coming back to make notes (I was too immersed)
A crack in the sky you are insane I would FREAK
Where TF does bucky go during the day. As a naturally nosy gal the unknowns in this story make me ITCH I can't wait for everything to be revealed
"Why wonât you look at me? " - this is so hurtful why are you being so mean to me
HOW IS THE DELIVERY MAN EARLY IM LITERALLY IN SHOCK AND WE MOVED ON FROM THIS TOO FAST????????
"You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strangeâs cloak draws itself around your shoulders." - hehe we have the cloak đŤśđťÂ
""I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"" - why did this make ME relieved like I'm stuck in the loop too đ I literally have felt anxious for our dear reader like I'm sick and this has soothed my heart the smallest bit (I'm still scared of you)
"You canât help but wonder when heâs last tried the bed." - Frick you for putting him in the floor what has my baby done to you let him be comfortable đđÂ
"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up." - this made me LAUGH I needed thatÂ
CAPS BDAY IM CRACKING UP THATS SUCH A FUN SILLY MOMENT
"He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. Youâre suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you donât like the challenge sparkling in his eyes." - THEY ARE SO IN LOVE MY GOD IM SICKÂ
Why are we waking up to silence I'm gonna throw up NikaÂ
What did the powers doÂ
Alpine can see us that is both cute and scary đ
Â
"You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isnât in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you canât even look at him." - what is wrong with youÂ
"That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and itâs his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse." - how dare you write these 2 paragraphs and also put them so close together????????
"And then itâs you whoâs speechless, because the shock on Peter Parkerâs face is more than you bargained for." - FULL. BODY. CHILLS. WHAT A MIND YOU HAVE NIKA. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS.
"Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasnât allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you." - THE LAST LINE ?????? I'm speechlessÂ
"And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab." - ok chapter 7 pls đŤśđťÂ
I'm kidding you are PERFECT I can't believe I missed out on this for as long as I did?!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible brain with me I want to kiss you on the mouth I love you!!!!!!!
time after time [6]
series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didnât also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 12.8k
chapter warnings: maybe reacquaint yourselves with the story premise, it's been a hot minute; characters refusing to be honest with themselves and each other; violence against side characters, minor injury descriptions; strange is still annoying
a/n: this is quite possibly the scariest fic update i've ever made. a lot has happened since the last chapter was posted, and i won't bore you with all of it. suffice it to say, i missed sharing this story. thank you for being patient with me.
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3
six: butterfly effect
Working with Sam and Bucky was different than working with Natasha and Steve had been.
At the Compound, it had felt terrifyingly easy to find your place, to slip into the new role they granted you as if you were always meant to fill it. Youâd felt that way before, and it hadnât turned out quite so well. Maybe that was why you used to dread the end.
Now, however, for the first time in a while, you constantly had to prove yourself in order to not be left back in that dark place theyâd found you in, alone and trying to make sense of any of it. And you liked that. The challenge was something you could live with, something you could enjoy more than the ever chilling anxiousness that things were simply too good to be true.
So when Sam called you on for a follow-up mission shortly after the first one, you jumped at the chance.
It didnât matter that you barely talked about anything but work, even when you were hanging out in your spare time; in fact, you much preferred that to digging up the past. You even learned to find a wicked sort of enjoyment in provoking Buckyâs initial dislike of you to the point of where he would barely speak to you at all unless it was to snap at you.
You werenât sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick.
It wasnât as easy to get under the new capâs skin.
"Youâre making us sound like weâre partners in a law firm," Sam said, a smile clearly audible in his voice even though his eyes didnât betray it. Bucky didnât even dignify you with a clench of his jaw.
"What?" you said, crossing your legs. "Every newspaper in the city calls you 'Wilson and Barnes'. Donât you ever read the articles about yourselves?"
"Unlike some people, I donât have all the time in the world," Sam said, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed.
"Pity. The Bulletin called you the 'nationâs new dynamic duo' last week." You looked at Bucky, your eyebrows raised in amusement. "Youâve officially been downgraded to a sidekick, Barnes."
He answered with an empty glare of his own. "And what does that make you?" he said, but not like a question.
"Nothing at all," you still grinned. "Everything is right in the universe."
The reporters had yet to pick up on your addition to the team, which was proof enough that your powers still sufficed to fly under the radar. Combined with the fact that you were actually regularly talking to people againâand people who werenât your therapist or your customers no lessâ, things almost felt like they were settling into a new kind of normal. Still somewhat weird, and still a struggle each day, but somewhat hopeful, nevertheless.
Youâd almost forgotten what that could feel like.
âRight. Youâd prefer people not knowing about your creepy powers.â
"Aww." You tilted your head to the side happily. "You think Iâm creepy."
Bucky scoffed into his mug, refusing to look at you like he always did, and then he strolled off again.
In truth, you couldnât blame him all that much. Youâd lived with your powers all your life and still found them unsettling sometimes, particularly when they got away from you and left you trapped in a universe that refused to move.
That was none of his business, though.
Besides, Bucky had taken to moving around so quietly you could never tell he was there until heâd cough and youâd flinch, usually dropping whatever you were holding in your hands. Youâd already cracked your phone screen twice.
Not that heâd know, or care if he did. It gave you great satisfaction to erase his amused smirk from existence.
"Give it time," Sam said without moving. "He doesnât like new people."
"Neither do I," you murmured, and he snorted. "What?"
"Pretend with me all you want, but maybe do a bit of introspection there."
You crossed your arms with a pout. "You sound like my therapist."
"Mhm," Sam hummed, opening one eye to look at you. "You owe me fifty bucks for that."
"Fuck you."
"Oh, would you look at that, the price just went up."
He chuckled as you flipped him off and went to look for the coffee pot.
Of course, your way got blocked. The downsides of not hating having people around.
Bucky was leaning against the counter, considering you. "You go to therapy?"
"You should try it some time," you said distractedly, reaching around him to get your favorite mug. Bucky recoiled like he was afraid youâd burn him. You shook your head in annoyance. "Helps with the stink eye."
"Is that what they told you?"
"They told me I needed to process my grief, but I decided to focus on some more achievable goals." You took a sip of your coffee, sighing in comfort. "We came up with a compromise."
Bucky scoffed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He still hadnât taken his gloves off around you.
"Sounds like a way to drag it out," he said.
You frowned into your cup. "Itâs not a race, Barnes. Thereâs no finish line for this shit."
Something odd went over his face, but he went back to avoiding your gaze when you tried to make it out. You knew him well enough by then to get the hint, and so you left him alone.
What was it to you if he didnât want to warm up to you. That had no bearing on the fact that overall, your situation wasnât all too bad anymore.
It was something, you supposed as you curled up in your spot on the couch with your book later that day, slipping in and out of time to keep your company a little longer because deep down, you knew you were sick of being alone.
It was weird and different, yes, but it was still something anyway. Something to do with your afternoons again.
A reason to get up in the morning.
*****
"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks quietly, carefully, but he makes no attempt to pull back from your embrace. It allows you to take another shuddering breath, inhaling his scent until it makes you dizzy.
The fact that you probably wonât be this close to him again any time soon makes you press into his chest even harder, hard enough to feel his heart flutter against your forehead, the shock of the situation making it pick up speed.
For a split second, you slip into a sort of vacuum, your thoughts quieting as he keeps mumbling to you, and in that blissful moment, your situation doesnât seem quite so dire anymore, more like a bad dream. Youâre safe now, arenât you? How could you not be?
But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus.
You donât want to have to do this, you realize once your gasps for air start calming again. Youâre not sure if you can bear it.
But nothing in this loop has been about what you wanted.
And so your resolve is made, with your heart sinking until itâs hidden away deep, deep inside of your chest. You ball your hands into fists to keep your fingers from twitching.
Two or three times he watches you inhale, start to say something, halt before you can, almost choking on it. Like your body is refusing to go through with it.
"How do you know when Iâm lying?" you finally ask, and your voice sounds oddly clear in your small bathroom.
Buckyâs face goes from concern to confusion, his frown deepening. You want to smoothe it away with your thumb.
You close your eyes so maybe the temptation goes away.
"What?" he asks, and he still sounds so damn gentle.
"Iâve never been able to lie to you," you say. "Whatâs my tell?"
You can feel him move away from you and the ache of it makes you look again. His shirt and his hands are covered in his own blood, and youâre sure thereâs some fucking metaphor in the way it stains the golden inlets of his vibranium arm crimson but for the most part, you canât unsee the damn irony of it all.
Because youâve pissed him off now.
"You scared the shit out of me, Y/N. And Sam, too." Thereâs the sharpness in his voice you know all too well. You havenât heard it in a while. "What the hell is going on?"
"Iâm trapped in a time loop," you say, squeezing your fists more tightly. "Iâve been reliving this day for weeks, my powers arenât working, Iâm the only one who can stop time from completely collapsing, I canât do that without my powers, and youâre gonna die later today. Am I lying?"
Itâs maybe the worst way youâve ever told him, because watching Buckyâs face change is almost too much. This is exactly why youâre doing it, though; as long as youâre going through this loop with a giant guilty knot in your stomach, youâre not going to make any progress. And you need to put an end to all of it.
So you meet his gaze, almost unwavering, and you donât blink.
His shock bursts free as an incredulous laugh. "What?"
"Iâm stuck," you say again, slower, nodding at his hands, his blood, continuing to push, "and you keep dying."
Bucky looks down, then, before his gaze falls back onto you and he sits back on his heels. The pause lasts for way too long, heavy and smelling of iron, and youâre pretty sure youâre suffocating. He only says one word, and it sounds so defeated. "How?"
You swallow heavily. "You got shot on a mission," you say, but he shakes his head, the fire returning to his eyes.
"No. How did you get stuck?"
"I âŚ" You blink, because youâre not prepared for this question, because you can never predict what heâs going to say, because he keeps doing that to you, because somehow, and not like youâve expected, you feel like youâve been here before.
How did it happen? Thatâs not ⌠Okay.
"It was an accident," you finally say, helplessly, defensively.
Thereâs a flicker of something in Buckyâs eyes. "What happened?"
"You died. You died that first time and I didnâtâI couldnât âŚ" You swallow the sob that threatens to shake your voice again. Damnit, youâre supposed to push him away.
He moves his arm, then hesitates, as if he wants to reach out to you but changes his mind at the very last moment.
Right. He doesnât normally do that.
Except he has.
He has held your hand and pulled you closer and written on your arm and let you lean on him with the full weight of your body, as if to him, you weighed nothing at all. Heâs been offering to carry your load so many times, and he doesnât remember a single one of them.
"Please donât look at me like that," you say tonelessly, watching Bucky retreat.
"Like what?"
"Like Iâm gonna fall apart at any moment. And yes," you add when his mouth opens, "IâI know I just did, Iâm aware of the irony, but this is exactly why I canât keep telling you, I donâtâI canât stand it." You press your wrists against your temples, ignoring the buzz of the whirling time symbols against your skin, the stinging in your eyes. "You shouldnât evenâI mean, are you even the slightest bit worried about yourself? Because I feel like Iâm the only one here, and I shouldâve justâ"
You stop yourself, shaking your head. Your hands are very clammy all of a sudden, and when you tug at your rings just to do something, one of them slips off your finger and clangs against the tiles as if to punctuate the silence.
When you reach down, you move your wrist in a way that makes you hiss in pain and flinch back. Buckyâs eyes flit between your own and your hand, his frown deepening in a strangely soft way. "Did you break it?" he asks quietly.
"Iâm fine," you mumble, and he looks at you disapprovingly. "Youâd grabbed my hand just before âŚ"
His jaw twitches as the blame settles in again, and you would do fucking anything to finally make him understand that none of this is his fault. That you should be in pain for what youâre putting him through.
"It shouldâve been me," you tell him, because itâs true.
Even earlier in the week, you wouldâve taken great delight in seeing Bucky Barnesâ face fall at something youâd said. Hell, youâd have probably enjoyed it on Thursday, because there used to be this easy sort of gratification that came from riling him up, from catching him off guard.
Seeing it now, though?
It makes your fingers twitch.
"Donât say that. Not even as a joke."
"Iâm not joking." You can feel your pulse in your ears. "They aimed a shot at me, and you pushed me out of the way, and you died. So by all accounts, if your instincts werenât so damn noble all the time, it shouldâve been me, and if I werenât such a fucking coward, Iâd have gone back and switched places with you weeks ago."
The thought terrifies you, even though itâs true. No part of you wants to go through the things Bucky is, but if someone gave you the choice between either one of you right now, you wouldnât even have to think about it.
Maybe thatâs the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that heâs safe.
"Iâd like to see you try," Bucky says, and something slams into your chest as an old familiar shiver runs down your spine.
Thereâs a pained edge to his gaze, contemplative and heartbreaking and âŚ
"Youâre doing it again," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
"What am I doing?" His hand brushes your knee, and your skin is left searing.
You swallow heavily. "Being noble."
Bucky chuckles softly, and his eyes leave yours for just a moment. "Donât exactly feel like that."
Heâs beautiful.
Itâs a new thought, despite everything. Even when youâve noticed it before, youâd roll your eyes at the fact and move on, because this was Bucky. So what if his face was delectably handsome?
But it seems like you havenât known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You canât even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasnât been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if itâs never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real?
So itâs pure instinct that makes you move, like someone would pinch themselves to ensure theyâre not asleep, even though youâre very aware that this isnât just a dream. You need to confirm that Bucky is real, though.
The air stands still when your fingertips trace along his cheekbone, leaving a delicate flush behind in their trail, barely touching and yet âŚ
And yet.
His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place youâve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesnât move away. He doesnât laugh, either.
Thereâs a scraping sound at the closed bathroom door, followed by a short knock. You flinch backwards.
"Iâm leaving the first aid kit on the bed," Sam calls from the other side. "Just ⌠holler if you need me."
"Thanks, Sam," Bucky says coarsely, and you can hear steps receding. The scratching continues, though. That damn cat.
Finally, he breaks eye contact, clearing his throat.
"Do you want me to help you clean up?"
You shake your head. Youâre not sure you could stomach more of this. "Iâm good, donât ⌠Donât worry about it."
Bucky drags a hand through his hair, muttering something to himself you canât quite make out. Slowly, he gets to his feet again.
"We need to come up with a plan," he says, and you want to cry except ⌠youâre tired. Tired and sick of this.
"I need to come up with a plan," you correct him. "We have been trying to do this as a team for weeks, and it doesnât change anything except waste time and âŚ" And hurt. "I canât do it anymore, Buck."
There must be something in your voice that thaws his defiant glare a little. "So whatâs the plan?"
And with a sigh, you fill him in on everything thatâs been going on with Strange and your powers. Again. One last time.
You have to do this alone.
Bucky ignores your insistence that you can manage just fine and sets your wrist while you talk. Alpine, now free to roam wherever she pleases again, has decided the bathroom isnât quite that interesting after a short look inside, and is now taking a nap in the spot of sunshine next to your bed.
"New deal," he says once youâre done, once heâs thought about it all, and you raise your eyebrows. "Donât do anything stupid."
"You know me," you smile, checking the makeshift dressing around your hand. The green symbols are hidden by the layers of gauze.
Bucky doesnât bite. "Iâm serious, justâdonât."
"How would you know?"
"I wouldnât," he says, snapping the first aid kit shut so vehemently Alpineâs tail twitches. "But I trust you."
Your head whips up at his words, even though his back is still turned to you. He doesnât see your face as your heart is jostled into a new rhythm, so violently and unexpectedly that you lift your hand without thinking, pinkie outstretched.
"Promise."
He smiles when he notices, and you wish you could take a picture to carry with you through the rest of this nightmare.
That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesnât have time to reach his eyes, though.
***
Thereâs been a change in the weather.
Not literally, no; of course not literally. Fuck, you long for a single cloud, a raindrop, a damn hailstorm to break the streak of endless perfectly sunny days that donât fit your mood in the slightest.
But thereâs a tinge to the sky that makes your stomach turn. Itâs not very obvious to anyone who hasnât looked at the exact same sunset for weeks on end, just a single strip of color across a storybook horizon. It looks like a crack.
"Do you see that?" you ask warily when you notice it for the first time, ominous and yet almost completely hidden by the trees and the buildings. Just dancing around the edge of your vision like another mockery.
"What?" Sam asks, eyes not leaving the path ahead.
"That ⌠thing in the sky. What is that?"
Bucky stops and squints at where youâre pointing. "Itâs called a cloud," he says dryly.
"With that color?" you murmur, but continue walking when he stops to turn to you, your wrist tingling. His stare is searing your neck, but you ignore that, too.
The best course of action, youâve learned, is to shut your brain off as soon as you get out of the quinjet and just go through the motions, trying to ride out the mission like youâve done dozens of times before. Thereâs a sort of autopilot youâve fallen into after a couple of days, and itâs the only thing keeping you somewhat sane. Most days, it means itâs all over quickly, and you canât help but feel glad about that.
Youâve given up trying to change your own actions to get him through the day.
But this âŚ
Itâs something new, and in all this monotony, that thought is both frightening and exciting. It distracts you enough to get you off script.
"Lovely interior design," Sam mumbles like he always does.
"Remember how this was supposed to be a day off?" You kick one of the pebbles in your path with a sigh. "What happened to 'donât worry, Y/N, after training the day is all yours'?"
"Occupational hazard," Sam says, checking his map for the thousandth time.
"You know what I mean."
"Donât you have tomorrow off?" Bucky says over the intercom.
Tomorrow. "Right." It comes out somewhat strained, your fingernails digging into the palm of your hand. "And why do you know that?"
Sam shakes his head and thereâs a brief crackle of static in your ear. For a fraction of a second, you nearly dare to hope Bucky will give you an answer, even though you have no clue what it would be.
"Theyâre heading your way now," he says instead, "so get a move on."
And just like that, youâre back on track.
Quickly clearing your throat of the lump that has formed there, you say tonelessly, "I probably only have one reset left. Two, if weâre lucky and you two arenât being stupid again."
Itâs taken you a while to get used to it. To the constant lying.
Youâve worn fingerless gloves on missions before, so thatâs not raised any questions from the others yet, and your rings stay hidden away. Youâve been more reluctant to take them off since the one you lost on your bathroom floor vanished into thin air.
The other thing youâve picked up on while endlessly repeating this day is that Bucky is less likely to catch you in a lie if he canât see your face.
So youâve made an effort of spending as little time as possible with him.
Itâs surprisingly easy to stay in your room for the majority of the day, because he doesnât remember it ever being any other way. Even todayâs little exchange will be lost to the loop soon enough, just like that little pause he made, just like the bullet through his heart.
Still, when you wake up with a start on Friday, July 4th, you look at the sky first. Its perfect blue doesnât soothe the sinking feeling in your stomach at all.
Youâve been waiting for something to change for weeks, and now that itâs here, you donât like it at all.
"What did you expect?" Strange says with an infuriating composure once youâve nervously recounted your experience. "I told you, time isnât supposed to get stuck in this way. Of course your reality was going to act up sooner or later."
"I really feel like you should be more concerned about this," you mutter, letting a ball of green energy pass from your left hand to the right. Itâs about the size of a quarter now.
"Honestly," Strange answers, "I thought something like this would have happened a while ago." He taps his fingers together. "Again. Slower."
"So what am I supposed to do then, just ignore it?" The green ball pulses with your indignation, turns around itself once and then sinks into your palm again.
"In all likelihood, itâs a one time glitch. If everything is back to normal today, I wouldnât worry about it."
Your thumb rubs across the empty space on your finger. "Easy for you to say if youâre not the one whoâs stuck in an endless hellscape."
"Arenât I?"
You both roll your eyes at each other, but then you bite the inside of your cheek again, unable to shake the feeling of a whole new shade of dread. "What if itâs not just a one time glitch?"
The corners of Strangeâs cloak roll up on themselves, and he doesnât meet your eye when he says, "Weâll cross that bridge when we get to it."
Itâs still early when you return to the present, too early for Bucky to be back from wherever heâs always going, so you decide to venture out of your room again, stretching your tired limbs. Youâre pretty sure at this point that waking up on the floor is never going to feel fun.
Sam is in the kitchen as always, reading something on his laptop. Heâs still sitting down, which means that itâs even earlier than you expected. You miss these early parts of the day, the calm before the storm.
If today were only made up of these few hours, you suppose, it might not be half so bad.
You pull up a chair next to him and lean a cheek against your hand. "Whatâre you doing?"
"Research." Sam sighs, rubbing his temples. "Remember that ULTIMATUM group?"
"Never heard of them," you say with a small yawn. "Is that an acronym? What does it stand for?"
Sam gives you a glare and your mouth twitches slightly.
"Anyway," he continues, turning his laptop so you can see the article heâs reading. "Theyâve been more active again lately. Acquired a couple thousand dollarsâ worth of lab equipment through one of their contacts and then went underground again."
Of course, you know all this. Youâve been over it again and again, back when you were all still trading information like it could save Buckyâs life. Like there was a deeper meaning behind any of this damn loop other than the fact that you, and you alone, fucked up.
Useless.
You close the mental door on those thoughts and take a deep breath. You hate to admit it, but all of this sitting around with your thoughts bullshit youâve been doing has actually helped you to clear your head somewhatâif only to make it through the parts of the day you canât avoid.
"And now what?" you ask, pretending to just have reacquainted yourself with the topic.
"Now," Sam says, taking his laptop with him as he stands up and strolls over to the kitchen island, "Iâm waiting for Torres to get back to me so we can decide our next steps once weâre all recovered." He gives you a meaningful look and you scowl.
Then, slowly, his words register in your brain, and you stare at his back as he stretches and then moves to make some coffee, wordlessly taking one of your mugs out of the cupboard as well as his own.
"You donât seem too worried," you say hesitantly.
Sam shrugs. "Until we have a proper lead, thereâs not much we can do. And I doubt theyâll be doing any actual damage any time soon. Theyâre a lot more covert than the Flag Smashers ever were."
"Right," you say, more to yourself than in response.
"Try that again, less convincing?"
"I donât know," you mutter, slowly following him to lean against the fridge. "Just ⌠what if Torres did find something? Should I be getting ready?"
Sam frowns. "Are you not telling me something again?"
You try to shake the thought, pulling your arms around you. "Forget it."
You donât, though.
It keeps bugging you, because that day like any other day, he knocks on your door at 4:32 on the dot, and you go on that mission anyway. And even though this has been happening for weeks, youâre just starting to suspect that you are, in fact, still not getting the whole picture.
***
Catching a glimpse of Samâs phone turns out to be more difficult than you first thought.
Youâre still trying to get the timing exactly right a couple of days later, and you miscalculate enough to catch Bucky on his way upstairs.
"Hey," he says, his shoulders tense when he looks at you. Thereâs a restlessness to him that heâs not quick enough to hide; or maybe youâve just grown more perceptive when it comes to him.
"Hi," you say, crossing your hands behind your back. "Whereâve you been?"
He shrugs. "For a walk."
You already know he wonât elaborate if you try poking, so you donât. "Was it good?"
"Lotta people." He hesitates when you continue to not meet his eye, and then he says, "Do you want to talk about it?"
You swallow, ignoring the tingling sensation on your wrist. "Not particularly. Do you?"
Buckyâs jaw twitches. "Nah."
Somehow, you feel like thatâs also a lie. Once again, youâre left wondering.
The silence between you stretches as you continue to not quite look at each other, until you finally clear your throat, nodding at the front door. "Iâm getting coffee, do you want something?"
Honestly, itâs just an excuse as to why you need to leave before he notices something off again somehow, but Bucky tilts his head in amusement.
"Didnât you just get some this morning?"
"So? I like coffee."
"Really. I never knew."
"Screw you."
You can hear him huff behind you, but thankfully the door falls shut before you can do anything stupid. Like turning around to face him, for example.
You miss his eyes.
Why wonât you look at me?
When the elevator doors open, you almost yelp into your delivery guyâs face. He stumbles a half-step backwards, somehow managing to keep a hold of the boxes precariously balanced on his arm while heâs reading something on his phone.
"Oh my god," he lets out, "Iâm sorry, Iâm so sorry, I was just âŚ"
"Early." You blink.
"Sorry?"
"Nothing," you say, frowning only a little. "Wait, let me get that."
You quickly sign for the delivery and open the door with your keycard, holding it open for him. Youâre not exactly afraid of burglars these days, and besides; you know this guy by now.
"If you could just go straight ahead and to the right, thatâs where the kitchen is."
"Sure thing," he shrugs. "Thanksâ"
His mouth snaps shut and he blushes a little as if he wanted to say something else but thought better of it.
Youâve introduced him to Sam enough times you know heâs going to be fine, so you just smile and wave him in.
When you step out on the street, you instinctually look up at the sky. Itâs outrageously blue, blatantly perfect for an endless Friday, and even when you squint, you canât make out any irregularities.
Itâs a tiny relief, but a relief nontheless.
Lucy is leaning against the wall just out of sight of the storefront, an unlit cigarette dangling between her lips as she rummages through her pockets. Her colorful makeup has begun to melt off in the sweltering heat, making the red-white-and-blue stars on her cheeks bleed into each other to look somewhat purplish.
"Are you off or on break?" you call over.
She lifts her head, the glare vanishing when she recognizes you. "Counting the seconds," she says. "Donât you have anything better to do?"
You sidestep a couple of pedestrians hurrying to cross the street and join her. "Not really."
"I hate you." She finally fishes a lighter out of her back pocket, sighing contentedly as she takes her first drag. "I swear, this day just wonât pass."
Fine. Maybe your chuckle is a little shrill. "Iâm sorry."
Lucy waves you off with a gesture crude enough to make a young dad with a stroller send the two of you a dirty look. "You without your shadow today?" she asks, inspecting her nails.
You blink. "My shadow."
"You know. Your friend whoâs been in here eight thousand times and still gets confused when he orders." A cloud of smoke vanishes into thin air. "Kind of the lingering type, isnât he?"
"Heâs old," you say, because for some reason nothing else comes to mind.
"Not that old."
"No," you agree, "not that old."
For a moment, youâre afraid sheâs going to ask you to pass her number along to him, and youâre already scrambling to find an answer somewhere in the depths of your brain, coming up empty. Thatâs the problem with being able to unhave entire conversations; you donât usually really have to deal with reactions if you donât want to.
Without your powers, though, youâre stuck, and itâs making you wish you hadnât come here at all.
Instead of any of that, she pulls a flyer out of her other pocket. "Sorin and Cass are doing a gig in Brooklyn next week, do you wanna come with? Theyâre still terrible, but they got a new bassist who seems alright."
You take the flyer, staring at it. "I didnât know theyâre in a band," you admit.
The truth is, youâve never paid that much close attention to the people you work with. Maybe thatâs been a mistake.
Lucy shrugs. "Youâre always doing your own thing." It stings, even though youâre pretty sure she doesnât mean for it to. "Itâd be fun if you came, though."
"Iâll think about it," you say, and your smile is a little unsure, but genuine.
So is hers.
"If you donât want to hang with us all night, you can bring some friends, too." Her emphasis hangs in the air between you like a dare.
You snort. "I feel like this isnât quite their scene."
"You feel like or you know?"
"Isnât that the same thing?"
"No." She puts her cigarette out on the wall behind her. "Knowledge is based on experience. On memories. Your feelings donât sit in your head. And so they donât make sense and theyâre not necessarily true." She winks.
"Youâre weirdly smart," you say, shaking your head.
"I know. Itâs a curse." Lucy sighs. "Anyway, think about it. I gotta get back to hell."
"You know," you say with a grin, "I could really do with a frappuccino right about now."
"You know what you could do?" she answers in her sweetest customer service voice, pointing you down the street. "Get in a trash can."
Damnit. You might actually grow to like Lucy.
She taps her fingers against her temple and then shuffles back inside, a hot rush of air blowing out of the AC as the door opens. You fold the flyer up to fit into your back pocket, hoping youâll make it to that concert one day, and then you walk on, aimless again for the moment.
***
Time passes while itâs standing still.
The problem is, at least for the moment, that by all appearances youâve reverted back to square one. Going through your day as though any of this is even remotely normal, counting the hours and minutes to reenter the astral plane and feel some semblance of control again.
Itâs been nice, really, if youâre ignoring the constant underlying feeling of dread.
Which youâre getting better at.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
Rinse and repeat.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
Even on days when youâre sure youâre making progress with your powers, every reset makes it just a little harder to keep dragging yourself onwards.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
"You look like shit."
Your head rolls to the side slowly, allowing yourself a glance while Bucky is still distracted with his arm. Concentration makes his brows knit, and something warm spreads in your chest.
"Iâm so tired," you say, voice barely above a whisper.
He doesnât look at you, but youâre grateful for it for once. Your eyes are stinging a little.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Yes. Yes. Yes.
"Not particularly."
"Do you want to talk about something else?"
You almost smile. "Like what?"
Bucky shrugs with one shoulder. "Like the fact that you just planted Sam into the mat head-first and yet made a face like you killed a puppy?"
Sometimes you wonder how he still manages to slip in without you noticing, no matter how many times he does it.
"Did I?"
"Did you kill a puppy? Iâd hope not."
Your bodyâs been getting stronger, anticipating Samâs every move. At this point, itâs not so much training as it is an exercise in muscle memory; but how would he know that?
It still isnât enough. Itâs never enough.
You pitiful, selfish, useless bastard.
"Youâre doing it again," Bucky says and you blink.
"Doing what?"
"I donât know, but I donât like it."
Something inside you twinges uncomfortably and you wrap your arms around your knees, pulling them into your chest. "That might just be me, period."
Bucky huffs. "Take the towel on the right," he says. "I already used the other one."
So you do.
And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with blah, blah, blah.
"I canât do this anymore."
Strange watches you, but you donât get up from where youâre lying, blankly staring at the ceiling, feeling like your chest is about to explode.
You donât want to feel like something is tearing you apart every single time, even though you know itâs not permanent. Thereâs always the tiniest glimmer of hope that this will all be over soon.
Or maybe itâs dread.
"Maybe you canât," Strange answers.
You blink, sitting upright. "What?"
"Maybe you are actually incapable of cleaning up your own mess. Youâve never had any training before, after all. Maybe youâre too weak."
Useless. Not good enough. Waste of time.
"If this is reverse psychology, itâs not working," you say through gritted teeth, pressing your eyes shut so tightly they donât burn anymore.
Strange ignores you. "Maybe youâre going to be stuck in this loop forever. If thatâs the case, thereâs no point to keep trying either. Maybe we should just call it a day."
You can feel your breaths coming in shorter.
"Maybe youâre just going to keep failing to save anyone for the rest of your life."
"Stop it!"
An explosion of power goes through your body, bouncing off the walls and bathing the room in a ghostly green light. You cough and curl into yourself as you watch it billow, still echoing the words back at you, "too weak", "stuck in this loop forever". Your bones are heavy with exhaustion.
Strange crouches down next to you and a cup of fragrant tea draws itself up to the side of your face.
"Youâre drawing the bulk of your power from pain. From a desire to fix things that you think you alone are responsible for when the truth is that each and every one of us is constantly creating reality."
"Fuck you," you mumble. When you sit up, your head is still swimming.
"You cannot keep this up."
"If Iâm such a lost case, then why do you bother?"
"Iâm trying to tell you that youâre not." He points at the walls, still covered by that greenish fog. "This is the strongest display of your powers Iâve seen from you yet, and it only happened because you were lashing out. Pain is not a sustainable source of energy. Imagine what you could do if you could be in control."
Do as I tell you.
"Thereâs no way to control my powers on a larger scale. Itâs impossible."
"You keep telling me that, and yet you keep coming back. Why?"
You push yourself up to your elbows, wiping at your face. "Because I have to hope, right?"
"And there it is."
You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strangeâs cloak draws itself around your shoulders.
The wizard himself stays quiet for another minute or two, before he asks, "Why do you think Iâm talking to you right now? Helping you, even, nevermind your constant whining and your insistence that this wonât work, after youâve spent your whole life running away from anything resembling actual responsibilities."
"I didnâtâ"
"Answer the question."
"Because I created a time loop?" you guess.
"But you already know that this loop is just one point on the timeline. A single day, repeated endlessly, but going exactly like it was always supposed to, once resolved. So, without the time stone and my privileges as the Sorcerer Supreme, and with your protections still in place, how would I have found you?"
He knew exactly where and when to look for you. But heâs right, that shouldnât even have been possible unless âŚ
"I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"
"Of course there is," he says, surprisingly gently. "Time isnât supposed to get stuck."
You sit with that for a minute, hiding your face in your hands as Strange stays silent. Finally, you take a deep breath and look at him again with newly sharp focus.
"So why donât you just tell me how to do it?"
He raises an eyebrow. "You know thatâs not how it works."
"Yes. It is. Itâs literally what I do all the time."
"What you do is leaving realities you donât like by turning backwards."
"Thatâs not true."
"Just because your motivations arenât entirely selfish doesnât mean youâre right."
Youâre so damn exhausted. The frustration of this whole thing is really starting to scratch at your sanity, and thereâs an ache in your chest as you stare at your own sleeping face, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking.
Strange snaps his fingers to get your attention back.
"Iâm not a mind reader," he says. "Out with it."
"I want to see him," you say, getting up. The cloak flaps around you in a very satisfying way. "Bucky. Itâs early this morning, right? Just before the loop starts again. That means heâs upstairs."
"And whatâs seeing him going to do?"
You ignore him and walk towards the door, reaching for the handle. Your hand goes right through it. You try it several more times, to no avail.
"Heaven help me," Strange mutters behind you.
Shutting your eyes, you take a deep breath. The circle of green tingles around your wrist.
Then, you walk through the closed door.
You fully expect to crash into the wood head first, but instead you feel the door moving through your noncorporeal form, and then youâre standing on the other side.
With a startled hum, you turn left, not waiting to see if youâre being followed.
You only hesitate in front of Buckyâs bedroom door. Youâve never actually been inside his room since heâs moved in; well, apart from that time he patched up your feet and you woke up in the astral plane for the first time. It feels odd to consider entering without him actually being aware of it.
Then again, thereâs quite a few things at this point that heâs unaware of.
Before you can make up your mind, the door swings open just a little, and you automatically take a step back. Alpine sleepily slinks through the gap and trots off in the direction you came from, probably to sit in the kitchen and mope until FRIDAY activates the food dispenser again. On the stairs, she passes Strange who raises an eyebrow at you.
"Changed your mind?"
You glance into the room.
At first, you canât find him. The bedding looks untouched, and thereâs a brief flurry of panic that makes you step inside before you can keep questioning yourself.
Bucky is lying on the floor next to the bed, his hands balled tightly into an old throw blanket. Itâs haphazardly draped across his torso, like heâs been trying to wriggle free during the night. He grimaces in his sleep.
Try the floor.
You canât help but wonder when heâs last tried the bed.
"Can he hear us?" you ask quietly, not needing to look over your shoulder as you sink to the floor next to Bucky.
"No," Strange says. "Not until you put in a lot more work."
"Would he remember if I did?"
"I donât know."
You do look back at him, then. "You know, considering your position you donât know a whole lot of things."
You concentrate on your own hand until youâre starting to feel cool metal underneath your fingertips, ignoring the throbbing of your head. Carefully, you touch the crease between his brows, smoothing it out tenderly.
Bucky sighs a little in his sleep, but doesnât stir. Doesnât stop quietly murmuring in his dreams.
"You feel better?" Strange asks.
"Not really." Youâve already reached out to him without it having any repercussions too many times. "But that wasnât the point."
"What was?"
"Just âŚ"
Comfort. He brings you comfort, even when he doesnât know it. Itâs the same reason you keep waiting for him to arrive in the gym in the mornings, even though you could probably hurry up and miss him.
Even if the loop never ends, itâs still good to see that itâs bringing him back like itâs supposed to.
How incredibly selfish, you think as you continue looking at Bucky and letting a quiet, hesitant wash of calm come over you.
And then, all of a sudden, his eyes open.
You flinch backwards, but even though youâre almost face to face, he seems to stare right through you, his breaths heavy.
"Did I do something?" you say quietly.
"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up."
You watch as Bucky drags a hand over his face and then gets up with a determined tick in his jaw, grabbing a notebook from the nightstand. He scribbles something down, hastily, like itâs threatening to get away from him if he doesnât hurry. You donât have to read it to know it has something to do with what heâs seen in his sleep.
When the words stop flowing, he sits on the edge of the bed for a minute longer, but the tension doesnât leave his shoulders. Finally, he rolls his left arm a few times before pulling on a shirt and his running shoes.
He always goes for a run in the morning. Youâve made fun of him for it before, but you hadnât put together that while Strange was trying to get you to clear your own head through sitting still, Bucky might be doing the exact opposite to get the same result.
The door clicks shut.
"Are we done with the spying, then?" Strange says.
"No need to get weird about it," you mumble and take his outstretched hand.
***
Something changes once you know that your situation actually has an end date, even though Strange either cannot or will not tell you how many more loops youâre going to have to go through until then. Even so, thereâs a new assurance to your every step again, a determination grown from the knowledge that all this isnât for nothing. That there is an out.
You can cling to that.
"What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop?" you ask, letting your legs dangle over the ledge of the roof.
"Ew, no," Lucy replies, shaking the few remaining ice cubes in her cup emphatically. "My shift was long enough as is, and Iâve been looking forward to my Sunday off all week."
"Fair point," you concede.
Itâs early afternoon then, and youâve found a quiet spot on the top of the Tower. If Lucy was at all confused why youâd shown up at the store right when she clocked out and asked her to hang out, sheâs not showing it. Over the past couple of loops, youâve learned that she really likes to go with the flow, and you appreciate that.
"If itâs not today, though," she continues, like sheâs thinking aloud. "Imagine the books you could read. You could try out all that stuff that you say you want to do, and then you never have the time to actually do them."
Itâs a good thought, but a lack of time has never really been an issue for you. "Nothing you do would really stick, though."
She squints against the sun. "You realize thatâs a pro, right? No consequences whatsoever. I could cut my bangs again and theyâd be gone the next day."
"You used to have bangs?"
"Never, and Iâm willing to state that in a court of law."
You smile and lean back on your elbows. "If something good happened, thatâd be gone, too, though. You donât get to keep that, either."
"Yeah," Lucy says thoughtfully. "Iâd still remember it though, right? It still happened. I could make it happen again."
"Maybe." Your thumb scratches the empty space on your pinkie. Even though youâve turned your entire bathroom upside down, your ring is still gone, like it just up and disappeared from this reality. You canât help but wonder if that rift in the sky from a few todays ago has anything to do with that.
"What about you?"
"Hm?"
Lucy takes another slurping sip from her almost empty cup. "What would you do in a time loop?"
You canât help but laugh. "Iâd try to keep making the good things happen, I guess."
"Sounds like a lot of work."
It is.
"Are you out of your damn mind?" someone shouts behind you. "Itâs in the fricking nineties today and youâre baking?"
"Technically, we are baking," you say, nodding at Lucy and leaning back further so you can look at Sam upside down. "And weâre baking for you."
"Hi, cap," Lucy says, pulling her sunglasses off.
"Hey." Sam crosses his arms and fixes you with a very cap-like glare. "Why are you baking for me."
"Y/N said itâs for your birthday."
"Myâ" He cuts himself off, rubbing his temples. "My birthdayâs in September."
"Whoops," you say, your grin just believable enough. "My bad, cap."
"Youâre not funny," Sam says, "I hope you know that."
You know.
Of course, today isnât actually his birthday, not even if time were allowed to pass normally. It is day forty-fucking-nine of the loop, though, which makes it your fiftieth time living through this crap and frankly, you all deserve some damn pie.
Itâs not going to make a difference in the long run, of course, and yet you canât help but feel like keeping count of those little markers of time helps to hold your head above water. Making the good things happen, even if they donât change a thing and no one but you is going to remember.
So you simply say, "Itâs turtle pie," because you know that itâs Samâs favorite. "Hey, whatâs the time?"
"Oh, it better be," he says, holding his phone up for you to read and then marching out of your field of vision.
Sadly, youâre just about a minute early.
"He couldâve stayed," Lucy says when you let out a frustrated huff.
"He has that thing at the Garden," you tell her distractedly, taking a mental note to stall Sam a little longer next time.
"There you are."
You flinch at the sound of Buckyâs voice, barely daring to move your head when he sits next to you, his back to the brink.
He never comes up here. Thatâs the whole point.
"Hi?" you say carefully, and a grin tugs at his mouth.
"Not you," he says, nodding to the ground in front of him.
You turn around fully to find Alpine taking a nap just a few feet behind you, her snowy tail wrapped around a flower pot.
You let out a relieved breath and ignore the small sting in your chest. Of course heâs not up here because of you. Why would he be?
"Gee, thanks," you murmur, quietly shifting around so your hands are hidden underneath your legs. "You sure know how to charm the ladies."
You glance back at Lucy, but sheâs looking at her phone, her eyes once again indecipherable behind the large sunglasses.
Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Think you could handle my charm, Y/L/N?"
He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. Youâre suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you donât like the challenge sparkling in his eyes.
So you do what you always do and you block it out. Dismiss and distract.
"Does Alpine seem weird to you?"
He tilts his head, his jaw tight. "Weird how?"
"I donât know," you say, staring at her. "Sheâs just been acting ⌠odd, lately. Today, I mean."
And following you around in a way youâre pretty sure sheâs never done before. Not before the loop, at least.
Bucky sighs. "Did you make her scratch you again? Because Iâve told you before that Iâm not getting rid of her for enforcing her boundaries."
"First of all, I never make her scratch me, she does that well enough on her own."
"Thatâs victim blaming," Lucy says without looking up. Bucky snorts and you almost roll your eyes.
"Second of all, sheâs up to something. I know it."
"Oh, yes," Bucky says dryly just as Alpine makes a small noise in her dreams, her nose twitching. "Thatâs the embodiment of evil right there."
"I donât trust her," you mutter.
"And yet the catâs the weird one."
"I hate you," you mumble, standing up. "Iâm gonna go check on the pie."
"Thereâs pie?" Bucky says.
"Not for you!"
You turn at the door to see Lucy leaning in to show Bucky something on her phone; the frown has disappeared from his face, his shoulders relaxed. If heâd pull off his glove right now, itâd almost be like sitting in a park.
Thatâs good, you tell yourself as the door slams shut behind you with a bit too much gusto. Reminds you that thereâs nothing special about you in particular, which is much needed, really.
Canât wait to punch that one out of your system later.
Again and again and again and aâ
"Whoa, whoa, you alright?"
You blink. Riff slumps to the ground in front of you, body limp.
Bucky stares at you in concern, his hand still on your shoulder. His lip has split open and thereâs the usual bruise already forming on his cheekbone. You canât help it. Your gaze is drawn down, your breathing shallow.
You screw your eyes shut to snap yourself out of it, but when you open them again, Bucky hasnât moved an inch.
"Never better," you whisper, and for a split second, you almost believe it yourself.
Liar, liar, liar.
***
At least, you suppose, reality seems considerably less broken these days. No more cracks in the sky.
You get your wake-up call when you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY âŚ
"⌠FRIDAY?" you say into the silence of your room, your heart pounding wildly. This cannot be happening. Not now.
Not yet.
He got shot again yesterday.
A pleasant jingling sound rings out. "Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N."
You look at the clock on the wall. Ten to eight, just like every morning. "What day is it?"
"Today is Friday, July 4th."
You can taste bile in your mouth despite your relief. Thereâs an impatient thrum to the symbols around your wrist, like a noose thatâs tightening.
What did you expect?
"Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!"
"Didnât you set FRIDAY to wake me?" you ask Sam as youâre climbing the stairs, nerves on edge.
He looks at you weirdly. "I did. Youâre up, arenât you?"
You bite the inside of your cheek. "Didnât sleep well."
That much, at least, is still true. Full nights of sleep are a long distant memory from before constant back-to-back repetitions. The only time your body shuts off is when you manage to sleep for a little bit in between your astral visits and the mission call.
"I hope you donât think thatâs an excuse," Sam says, bumping your shoulder, and you manage a tired grin.
"You wish."
Today, you let him win, even though your ankle makes an odd crack when you land on the mat. Youâll take care of it later.
"You look like shit."
Grief and relief, youâve learned, both taste like salt and iron, but the latter is so much easier to swallow.
"That makes two of us," you say, sitting up slowly. "How was your run?"
"Good," Bucky says, putting the cloth away and stretching his fingers out. They catch a ray of sunlight. "Whatâs wrong with you?"
Not this again.
"Later, okay?" you answer, because thatâs not a lie. "Letâs just ⌠not, right now?"
"Alright," he says.
And, oh, you want to tell him again. Because he doesnât press it. Because you miss having someone to share things with. Because you miss telling him the whole truth. Because youâre scared, and tired, and sick of losing him.
But those are egotistic thoughts, and so you keep them all to yourself and take the towel on the right.
Thereâs one good thing about this today. You make it to the living room just in time to finally catch a glimpse of Samâs phone right when it pings with Torresâ message.
I can check it out on Monday if youâd like.
Thatâs it. No urgency, weirdly proper spelling, not even an exclamation mark.
In other words, youâre not sure what you expected but youâre no closer to answers than before.
"What does it matter?" Strange sighs when you tell him all of this with a frown.
"It matters," you reply, "because if we hadnât gone on the mission, Bucky wouldnât have died that first time and none of this wouldâve happened."
"So what?" he says. "Itâs already done."
"But if I could prevent itâ"
"It already happened."
"I can make it not happen."
"You and what powers?" Strange says sharply. "Even if you did that, it wouldnât stop the loop."
"How do you know that?"
"Because youâve already seen first-hand that itâs bound to you and your powers, not to whatever you do or donât do during the day. Karma is a fairy tale for those who donât want to take responsibility for their actions."
"Do you really still think this is me not taking responsibility?" Thereâs a green flare that goes through you, hot and seething and making goosebumps crawl down your arms.
Strange smiles at the sight. "Letâs find out."
He extends his arms and slowly opens his fists until orange symbols dance across his shaky fingers. The band around your wrist prickles at the weight of his magic flooding the air.
Strangeâs cloak nudges you towards the center of the room and your heart gives a heavy thud. "What, right now?"
"Would you prefer being stuck for a couple weeks more?"
"Of course not itâs justâI donât feel ready."
"No one ever feels ready until they try."
And maybe itâs because it reminds you of something Steve once said, but it makes you step up, falling into the stance youâve practiced over and over again. You breathe in deeply and close your eyes.
The pull comes easier now. Your powers have just been resting, nestled somewhere deep inside your bones like glowing embers, waiting for you to call upon them.
When you look at your open palm, the green wisps of your powers have curled up to the size of a ping-pong ball. You take another steadying breath and let it glide to the tips of your fingers, carefully letting it balance itself out for a second before moving your other hand.
"Good," you can hear Strange say quietly.
Slowly, carefully, you let the threads untangle until theyâre just about to touch the green band circling around your wrist. You can feel the electric tingle of it, the soft beat of each passing second contained within, and you push past it.
Youâve done this before, so youâre not surprised when you feel the energy drain from your body almost immediately. Up until now, though, itâs just been trial and error, not expecting anything to happen. This time, you have Strangeâs magic feeding some of his strength into you as well, and so instead of hesitating, you press on, your heartbeat speeding up.
The band around your wrist does the same.
"Donât lose your focus." Strangeâs voice sounds very far away, almost warped.
Very funny, you might have said, but youâre too busy watching it all unfold.
The whirring inside of your head grows louder as the circlet of time keeps rotating with accelerating speed, faster and faster until your eyes start tearing up and thereâs something that looks almost like a crack.
You gasp quietly. At first, you think you might have just imagined it, but then the split starts growing, the symbols growing farther and farther apart as the band itself keeps spinning. Your pulse is beating in your ears. Your wrist feels like itâs being set on fire.
There are voices, then, quiet and fast, like youâre watching a sped up movie, music and noises and chatter and birdsong and a whooshing sound like something flipping right past you. Then, something like distant shots.
Iâm getting Bucky out of this, you think as the green band continues rotating until suddenly, there is a shockwave of green light that takes up your entire field of vision.
You close your stinging eyes, keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor as your powers rush through you once more and then, with a shudder, settle down again, exhausted. The glare subsides. Something like a trickle of sweat runs down your noncorporeal neck.
"Did it work?" you ask, your voice rough, not daring to look for yourself. Thereâs no answer, though. "Doc?"
Slowly, your eyes readjust to the gloomy darkness of your room in the astral realm. The only source of light is the glowing green band continuing to circle around your wrist, the rifts stabilizing again like itâs clicking back into place.
You swear under your breath and turn around to ask what went wrong, but Strange is no longer standing beside you.
Youâre all alone.
***
Three, two, oneâ
"Iced grande extra whip caramel macchiaâshit!"
You catch the plastic cup before it drops onto the suit of the business man standing in line in front of you. "Here you go, sir."
He grabs his drink with a grunt and hurries back outside. One of these days, you might ask him why heâs in such a hurry, but itâs not today.
Youâve grown to adore the noise of the pre-noon rush. The cacophany of the whirring machines, the AC and the people is just loud enough to make your head calm down a little. Besides, being alone in a crowd has never been easier than when you know for a fact they are not going to remember you.
The drinks are starting to pile up at the hand-out, and because you feel bad for your colleagues, you start handing them out to people. Youâve been here a lot, after all.
"Tall hazelnut latte for Misty!"
Plus, it helps to keep your mind from wandering back to everything thatâs going wrong.
Strange still hasnât returned.
The astral dimension feels different when you return the day after your experiment, like someoneâs been pulling invisible strings to make everything just slightly more disordered and dark.
Itâs cold, too. You watch your body shiver in her sleep as you wrap your arms around yourself. The books are still there, shimmering slightly with the magic they contain.
"Doc?" you call out, and the vibrations of this place hum it back at you. Thereâs no answer.
The book at the top of the pile is still opened to a page, as if itâd just been left a moment ago, and you pick it up. The words glide around like they are looking to jump back into an inkpot, and you have to squint to make out any of them.
Incursion, the section header reads. Result of a contraction in a universeâs timeline. Can cause premature disintegration or collapse of any one reality within the multiverse.
"Just great," you say, slapping the book shut again. "I get it, alright? You can come out now."
But thereâs no sound apart from your own heartbeat.
Your noncorporeal head is swimming with pressure as you pass through the closed door and into the hallway. The walls seem larger than usual, the stairs warping ever so slightly underneath your feet so that you canât look at them for too long without feeling seasick.
Upstairs, the air doesnât feel quite as heavy. The silence follows you, though, lingering in the grayish morning shadows like the remnants of a nightmare.
Bucky still mumbles in his.
You canât make out what he is saying, and you wouldnât have understood the words, anyway, but thereâs sweat on his brow again. His fingers are tightly clutching the thin throw blanket like itâs shielding him from whatever heâs seeing in his dreams.
You take a step closer to him, desperate to do something, anything, when you notice movement out of the corner of your eye.
Alpine is perched on top of the bed, complacently tucked into herself on one of the fluffed up white pillows like itâs really her room, not Buckyâs.
And sheâs staring right at you.
You take a step to the side, then another. Alpine tilts her head, her large eyes fixed on you. They follow your gestures as you wave your hand.
A quick glance tells you that Bucky is still sleeping. You take a deep breath and conjure up a small dot of bright green light, letting it dance across your fingertips. Alpine uncurls herself in interest, her tail twitching.
"You can see me," you whisper, and the little spec of your power disappears.
The cat meows in disappointment.
Carefully, you move closer to the bed, reaching out your translucent hand until you place it on Alpineâs head.
She rubs against your palm.
You chuckle incredulously, scratching behind her ears. "You little devil."
Alpine seems particularly pleased with herself. She starts purring.
This is simply bizarre, you think as you continue petting her soft fur. Youâre expecting a sarcastic comment from behind your shoulder any minute now, but it doesnât come.
So, you lower yourself down on the floor next to Bucky, the tips of your fingers not quite grazing his arm as you swallow heavily.
And then you wait until he gets up.
Itâs possible, you think as you watch him leave and then make yourself wake up too, that Strange is simply messing with you for the hell of it. You donât like the timing of this, though. Your day still continues on and on and on, like it always does, but it seems just a little too pointed that this would happen right after you had your first hopes of getting out of here in a long time.
It doesnât help that the reality glitches have decided to return with a vengeance.
Every day is still July 4th. You wake up with a start, you train, you get coffee, you fight over lunch, you take your astral visit, you go on that damn mission. Itâs the details that start to get ⌠fuzzy.
In the beginning, every single thing around you was the exact same every single day. Now, though, there are sometimes details that are just wrong. A different mug left on the drying rack. A mess all over the tables in the lab. Weird noises all over the Tower.
You donât know what to make of any of it, and so in general, you follow Strangeâs rule of thumb and simply ignore the things that are wrong one day and then right the nextâwhich, thankfully, is all of them. You just go with it, telling yourself that this is simply reality malfunctioning a little, like a machine that needs oiling.
Weirdly enough, that doesnât reassure you in the slightest.
But what else can you do?
You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isnât in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you canât even look at him.
That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and itâs his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse.
Everyoneâs back to their usual stuff again, and thatâs that.
Another time, youâve barely rolled out of bed and into your bathroomâ"Rise and shine, McFly!"âwhen youâre suddenly jolted forwards and you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume. Your stomach feels like itâs still turning, nauseous, as if youâd sat up too fast.
That feeling still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, sticking to the back of your mind like the blood you havenât even had time to wash off.
The thing that demands most of your attention, though, is the pile of books waiting for you in the astral realm. Since you donât have any control over the loop itself, you pour all of your energy into trying to understand the theory behind your powers. Itâs giving you a constant headache, and it takes a lot longer than you would like to admit, but at least you feel like youâre doing something thatâll last.
Nothing else will.
Thereâs one last lonely cup sat on the counter next to your own, which signals that the rush is over for now. You can see Lucy wiping her forehead as you wave your goodbye, picking up both drinks on your way out and handing one of them to the guy just hurrying back downstairs.
"Here you go," you say without stopping, glancing at your phone. You havenât stayed this late before.
"What theâ" you hear behind you, just before the doors glide open and youâre greeted by the sound of traffic and a hot breeze of air.
If youâre lucky, you can make it back to your room without anyone seeing you. Youâve moved on to a particularly hefty tome about relativity, and youâd like toâ
"Hey! Miss? Hold on a second!"
You look over your shoulder to see the delivery guy has run after you, cup still in his hand. His bike is leaned against a lamp post nearby, his cap dangling off one of the handles.
You found out a couple of weeks ago that he takes his break just after dropping off your order, but you donât usually make eye contact anymore.
Now, he holds out his cup accusingly. "Thatâs my drink."
You smile. "Good for you."
"No. No, thatâs notâI meanâhow did you know it was my drink?"
And because nothing really matters and you really want to go home, you say, "It has your name on it, doesnât it?"
You expect him to look at you with wide eyes, just like people normally do when you know things youâre not supposed to. His mouth will drop open, speechless, his frown will deepen, and you can wink at him and continue on your way so he can spend the next couple of hours wondering what just happened.
The cup falls out of his hand, but somehow he manages to catch it before it hits the sidewalk. When he looks up at you again, and his expression is unlike anything youâve seen coming.
"But thatâs not âŚ" he says quietly. "Do you remember me?"
And then itâs you whoâs speechless, because the shock on Peter Parkerâs face is more than you bargained for.
*****
"Honestly, Iâm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasnât this," you said quietly, looking over the rim of your glass at the crowd.
"You complaining?" you heard Samâs voice say over the little earpiece you were wearing.
"Not at all."
Apparently, people connected to terrorist organizations threw incredibly fancy parties.
You hadnât felt this glamorous in a while, if ever, dressed up to the nines in a dark green jumpsuit with an incredibly flattering cut that youâd never had a reason to wear before. Despite your initial doubts about this whole thing, you felt great, for the first time in way too long.
"Are you gonna move any time soon?"
Well. Mostly.
At least Barnes cleaned up nice, you supposed; it almost made up for his grouchy demeanor.
With a sigh, you downed the rest of your drink and got back to work. You let the crowd swallow you up, seemingly on your way to the restrooms, and then you stopped it all to slip upstairs unnoticed by prying eyes and cameras.
You didnât hold it for very long; you had to rattle some doors, after all, and despite your espresso martini, it was still hard to tell if you could manage several redos back to back. After all, youâd only been back in the game for a couple of weeks.
It took you a few tries to find the right office, and locating the files was comparatively easy with what you already had access to. There it was, proof that ULTIMATUM had managed to secure most of the Flag Smashersâ previous supporters as well as some high brow weapon dealers.
While you copied everything onto a flashdrive, your eyes caught one of the designs. You frowned.
Even though you couldnât pinpoint what it was, exactly, something about it seemed just slightly too highbrow for an organization of the international bad egg committee that was supposedly still mostly underground. Your gaze started drifting through the rest of the office, noting the usual boring books and glass awards in the bookshelves on the far wall. You pulled open one of the desk drawers.
"You almost done in here?"
"Fuck!" You slammed the drawer shut again, getting your pinkie stuck in the process. "Damnit, where did you come from?"
Bucky pointed over his shoulder.
"Fuck me," you murmured, your eyes stinging at the pain.
Bucky looked nonplussed. "Canât you just undo it?"
"Great input, thank you." The flashdrive beeped softly and you shut everything down again. At least you were definitely sober now. "What are you, anyway, my babysitter?"
"Wouldnât have to be if you could check in on time," he answered, checking the corridors, then nodding for you to follow.
"Timeâs a social construct," you murmured, but followed him, the flashdrive hidden in your fist.
You didnât even make it to the staircase.
"Didnât I tell you?" a voice said right before several triggers clicked and you both froze. "I knew Iâd recognized that arm. And who do you have with you here, Winter Soldier?"
No one, you thought, and then you yanked time backwards so forcefully you stumbled into the desk, your heart still racing. The copy sat at 57%.
You felt almost seasick with the rewind, but there wasnât any time. "Keep going upstairs," you said into your earpiece.
"What?" Bucky said.
"Iâm fine. Donât come get me. Just keep going," you gritted through your teeth, trying to calm your breaths. 70%.
"Exit plan C, then," Sam said.
Bucky didnât answer. You looked at your hands. There was a slight tremor to them, but nothing too bad. If you could get the nausea under control, you could probably make it past the cameras one more time.
You shouldâve eaten more.
As soon as the flashdrive was done, you ripped it out and forced everything to a halt again. Your palms were sweaty as you hurried out of the office and in the direction of the staircase, your lungs burning. This didnât feel like a good sign.
You stumbled over your damn heels and the noise returned for that moment you lost your concentration.
Not good enough.
Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasnât allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you.
A small crowd had assembled at the bottom of the stairs. As you closed in on them, you felt a jolt go through you and suddenly found yourself surrounded by people as time attempted to right itself again. Your nails dug into the skin of your palm so hard you could feel yourself draw blood.
It went quiet again and you moved through them, almost blindly. Everything seemed to be spinning.
Behind your shoulder, you could hear several people talking, interrupted only by the world stopping around them every now and then.
"âdâyouâsee thatâ"
"âcouldâveâsworn thereââ
And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab.
chapter seven
thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications đ
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Quick lighting practice
#doodles#sunday doodles#ralsei#deltarune#ya' duck's gettung better at drawing those ram horns i give him#starting to understand how the form wraps a little better#i do all of these colored sunday doodles in ibis paint#it has a feature that lets you remove the background of a lineart drawing and just keep the black lines#which makes it super easy to color whatever i scribble once service is over#downside is most of its brushes arent very similar to what i use in clip studio so i have NO idea how to match my normal coloring style#thats what makes it a fun challenge though#i think im getting the hang of the app#really not bad for a free app tbh; its got *most* of the super important tools#i abuse the blending tool on csp though so not having it in ibis paint means i gotta get creative haha#y'all have fun knawing at what context this expression would occur in with this lighting#i just like red lighting :3
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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???: "..."
Anon , @ask-everything-nice
Thank you so much for the asks!))
#pokemon#pokemon ask blog#poke ask blog#pokeask#pokemon oc#zoroark#??? Zoroark#ACT 1: These Old Bones#Arc 1: Athymy#Chapter 1: Ask No Questions and Hear No Lies#ic#ask-my-memoir#vvq#apologies from the future to the owner of Nutmeg if i butchered her LOL#i haven't drawn quads since elementary school#she was a fun challenge though!#what took this one so long was the backgrounds#feel like ive gotten slightly better at em since the first post so thats a plus hehe#anyway have a socially inept fox man who wants you to leave him alone#we dont see much of his face bc i was trying to potray that he's not at all interested in what the askers have to say#he's very much a âDon't disturb me while im workingâ type of guy#keep poking at him! he will cave! ... probably#ALSO YES- the anon is the Mudkip!!#i may make a poll sometime later to vote on the anon pokemon#we'll see...#mudkip#skitty#ask everything nice#Mr. Man
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super obsessed with your art, seb looks soooooooooooo stunning!!! I am now very curious however, only if you feel like going into it, as to which other historical figures you align with which drivers?đđ
AAAAAA tysm Grace!!!! Though I am so so so sorry for how rambly and long this post is gonna be, but you just asked me abt one of my brainrots!! I will answer your question but also talk about my history alignments and AUs in general LOL
But if I'm making comparisons of F1 drivers and historical figures, my brain kinda forces me to make it an AU because I'm like "this needs to make absolute sense historically and contextually.)
So, tbh of the four historical AUs that float around my brain, only two of them are really specifically about certain historical figures. The four are: Nandopoleon(About how Fernando reminds me of Napoleon), War of Spanish Succession(mostly about that era, but Seb and Nando are supposed to be paralleling Charles VI and Philip V), Napoleonic Hussars(which is about how , in general, Hussars = F1 drivers), and Rennaissance Muse(this just happens to take place in a different era.)
Explaining my AUs and the historical contexts(proceed with caution, its a lot)
Nandopoleon:
Okay so I'm really really am so deranged about Napoleon = Fernando, but Iâve not posted about it too much because I wanna make a well thought out post about it. But basically I think theyâre similar people with similar characteristics and motivations. There was this period of time over the summer where I was only brain rotting about how well any of Napoleonâs quotes fit Fernando(with my fellow nandopoleon confidant @/sweatyflytrap haha.) Hereâs some quotes as example:Â
âVictory belongs to the most persevering.â
âIt is not necessary to bury the truth. It is sufficient merely to delay it until no one cares.â(Piasco era lol)
âVictory is not always winning the battleâŚbut rising every time you fall.â
âFrom triumph to failure is only one step.â
"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon."(trophies y'know)
"Always carry champagne! In victory you deserve it, and in defeat you need it!"
Tell me Fernando wouldn't use these as instagram captions! TELL ME!!! But the other thing that was driving me crazy is how well excerpts from the personality/image section of Napoleone's wiki line up with testimonials from Fernando's doc. Examples:
"He cheated at cards, but repaid the losses; he had to win at everything he attempted."(Napoleon) "Whatever activity I take part in, I have this compulsion to find the compeititon in it."(Fernando)
"He could rapidly dictate a series of complex commands to his subordinates, keeping in mind where major units were expected to be at each future point, and like a chess master, 'seeing' the best plays moves ahead"(Napoleon) "When you talk to him, his mental capacity is so strong. He's talking to you, but his brain is thinking ahead"(Fernando)
Like c'mon tell me they aren't at least a bit similar??? There's a lot else I find similar about them but I cannot list my whole manifesto here skdjlsd
Anyways this AU would be Fernando as Napoleon and would be Webbonso -> Strollonso. Basically, Napoleon had two wives: his first wife, who was older than him and who he was super in love with, but had to divorce because they couldn't have kids, but he still loved her deeply. And then his second wife , who was much younger thanhim and from the Austrian royal family, and this was a politically motivated marriage but they still got on pretty well!!(also it's funny, before she married him she didn't want to be with him because the public perception of him made him out to be not the best guy, but then she wrote to her father about how loving and kind he was. very Strollonso, no?)
War of Spanish Succession:
Mostly explained it here and here. I'm not too interested in either Philip V nor Charles VI themselevs as individuals, but rather the roles they fufill in the "story." Though I will say, I got hit with a brick while reading Charles VI's wiki when finding out that he apparently had several male lovers! So I guess my AU having an arranged m/m marriage isn't even that far off the mark hahaha. Why did they have a 13 year war, they should have just arranged a marriage between the two canidates sigh sigh. But yeah, mostly Austria vs. Spain, I think it fits well with the Vettonso rivalry!! They would end up being: Fernando I King of Spain and Sebastian I Holy Roman Emperor hehe. Also I sketched some more:
Napoleonic Hussars:
Explained here as well as with art, and more art here. I'm really still proud of the points I made, I just feel very ardently about it!!! Not about any specific figure, but rather a historical group that I think lines up extremely well with F1 drivers. But this one is fun cause I can kinda insert any driver into it and they'll work pretty well. It's fun to figure out what kingdom what driver would be, either based off their nationality or the nationality of their team. I remember vividly staring at a map from this era trying to figure out where Maranello would be....But like Renault = Kingdom of France and RBR = Kingdom of Austria, and stuff like that
Rennaisance Muse:
Mostly just this post, I've not thought about this one incredibly deeply. Mostly just brainrot about how I think Seb looks like The David with his curly hair
#catie answer an ask without making it a soliloquy challenge: failed#hope this is at least sort of interesting to people other than me!#basically: I like reading about F1. I like reading about history. why not mix them :DDD#also sorry Grace that this ended up being more about my AUs rather than which historical figures align with who#if im gonna compare a driver to a figure then my brain is like 'this needs to make absolute sense historically' so it becomes its own AU#though i think fernando is a much easier driver than any others to make historical comparisons about#and thats really only bcs hes very specific with how he portrays himself and how the public eye is supposed to view him#hes much more of a 'character' and is easier to compare bcs historical figures also end up becoming chararictured bcs of the passage of tim#having a lot of fun with this most recent one!!! the idea of arranged marriage vettonso(with boy king seb) is brainrotting me#all of these have ships as well that theyre kinda focused around#hussars is the most general but Ive already drawn martian for it sooooo#and the rennaisance is also martian#nandopoleon I already said what it would be(god the irl age gaps align so well to each other)#and then obv spanish succession is vettonso arranged marriage#anyways aaaahhhhh fun side projects which I like to research and draw!!!#and ik ive said it a lot but thank you guys for showing interest!! its pretty niche i think....#catie.asks.#catie.rambling.txt#boy king au#hussar au#nandopoleon alonsoparte
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i just think hes neat
#im basically just broly if he was smaller and shorter and whinier with elf ears#so what im saying is im basically broly and kish fused dsfnbvsvdhgfshgdgfhv#kish minus all the weird creepy shit#maybe links in there too. oh oh and beast boy obvs.#idk who else#maybe a hint of goku bc im worried i have the same dumb drive to challenge myself and push my limits or whatever#at least i wont endanger my family............................................................ right? right???#my bf was wondering why i identify w broly bc of him blowing up that one planet or whatever#(never mind the entire galaxy he blew up tho ig) but thats obviously not the reason.#its the whole 'becoming an invincible destructive force of nature that has bouts of wanting to Break Things often and usually bc#of being pushed to that edge by other people' thing#you dont get it u-u i need to go to one of those places where i can SMASH shit u--u. im just that kinda guy u---u.#and sometimes it is fun to imagine smashing ur enemies even though you probably would never do that and in fact imagining it#satisfies you enough kinda deal yaknow#as cheesy and on brand as it is for me rn i just love destroying shit and i always have im sorry im this way blame god ik i have been#maybe he shouldnt have made the sound of rocks crumbling and glass breaking etc sound so good huh? ya ever think of that??#anyways i find when i suppress these emotions it just boils up until i explode which i think only leads to more of a chance of me actually#hurting someone instead. when i pretend to be cute and flowery and people pleasey- it only makes me more resentful. but thats the#only version of me people seem willing to tolerate. and i dont think they realize how much THAT makes me resent them too#im not an innocent frail delicate uwu bean i will literally eat you đŞđŞđŞđŞđŞ#idk. its not like i want ppl to fear me either. but sometimes it feels like thats the only way to stop ppl from disrespecting me#maybe if ppl didnt assume me being nice and Not trying to start fights is a sign of being weak maybe i wouldnt feel like its necessary#to intimidate ppl to scare them away from me.#i promise babe you are Not getting away with it- i just know better not to start a scene. especially among other whities like me#yall will be vocally violent about whoever behind their backs over and over and if im the guy who actually confronts you suddenly im#the only one being an asshole. im simply playing YOUR game with you. you wanna be dishonest and hide behind a fake smile then so will i#and ill just sit here and wait until you break. and then everyone can call you crazy and confrontational instead!#i hate white people (yes ik i am a white people... doesn't mean i cant hate the way a lot of white ppl act)#things could be so much easier if you weren't a coward and just spoke your mind about how you distrust me and how quick you were#to find reasons to back up your mistrust. we coulda ended it there and avoided eachother. but now we gotta pretend we like eachother ig.
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What do u think of Gojo begging you to give him a handjob and promising he wont cum during NNN but surprise surprise he fails so u ruin his orgasm đ¤Ż
I think YES???? this was insanely fun to write, tysm for the ask nonnie<33
tell me why i forgot nnn was a thing LOLLL
contains: fem reader, crack, handjobs, whiney!satoru, established relationship, cumming handsfree, ruined orgasm, failed edging, begging, gojo calls you 'ma'am ' once as a joke, 'baby' and 'princess' used for reader
2k words :p
MDNI
°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż*:シ°ââ.ŕłŕż
"Baby pleeeeease." gojo whines, laying his head on your knees from where he sits between your legs on the carpeted floor,Â
"Satoru, you were just begging me last month to not let you cum during November no matter what." you sighed, he does this every year, making you swear up and down that you'll hold him accountable and not let him lose NNN, hearing from geto that if you last the whole month, the orgasm on December first was mind-numbing
of course, he wouldn't know, becasue every year he came crawling to you about how stupid this challenge was, barely a week into the challenge, and he was dragging you to the nearest surface and fucking you against it, filling your guts with his cum,
but not this time, miraculously he had held out this long, only eight days before the challenge was over. he of course had you to thank for thank, deep down you knew he really did want to complete this challenge, and thats why he was so insistant every time the dreaded month came around.Â
but Satoru was a slut for pleasure, especially for the kind of pleasure he got from you. Whether it was your hands, mouth, cunt, he could get off using any part of your body and he would be the happiest man on earth
"I won't cum, swear, just miss your hands on me baby pleeeease," he practically cried, hugging onto your knees, turning his face into your skin whining and groaning like a spoiled child,
"Toru, you and I both know you do not have enough self-restraint to just edge yourself," knowing him better than himself
together, you guys have tried edging, Satoru never being able to make it past the first time you stopped right before he came, once again saying how stupid this was, quickly fucking his cock back into you and bringing himself to the brink of orgasm using your body, cumming with no restraint, even though he was once again the one who brought the idea to you,
"I'm starting to think you might have commitment issues," you mumble under your breath, his fake cries and obnoxious pouting pulling you out of your thoughts, phone dropping by your side, looking down at him with a huff,Â
"Please, all you gotta do is rub my cock a little, just for a second please," he drags out the please once more, lip sticking out in a pout as he looks up through his snowy lashes at you, "jus wanna feel you please, it's been so long, need it, baby, please."
shutting your eyes and sighing once again, unable to deny him any longer with him being so persistent, especially when he asks you so nicely, looking up at you with those beautiful eyes of his,Â
"oh my goddd Satoru, okay, fine." you shake your head, slapping your hand over your face, and he perks up, immediately abandoning his spoiled rich kid act, leaving fat kisses all over your knees, "yes yes yes thank you, baby, promise I won't let you down,"Â
he stands up and you peek through the cracks in your fingers, hand still on your face and your jaw practically drops at the sight, he is already sporting a huge tent in the crotch of his grey sweats, smile stretching from ear to ear while he looks down at you,
"you're already hard?" you exclaim, disbelief plastered on your face, "feelin' on ur legs made me hard," he says nonchalantly, the expression on your face not changing, "now up you go!" leaning down he scoops you up from under your arms and throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing, "woah! toru!" you exclaim, caught off guard as he takes long strides to your bedroom
strong hold on the underside of your knees as he hums, making his way through the hallway, finally reaching his destination and plopping you down in front of him on the hard floor, "how do ya want me your majesty?" he smirks, hands in his pockets waiting for your direction, "jus' go lay down on the bed you freak," pushing his solid chest back towards the king mattress,Â
putting on a show as he faux stumbles backward, flopping back on the bed, fluffy white hair on the pillows, putting one hand behind his head, the other coming down to rub himself over his sweats, "don't leave me waiting princess" biting his lip, lips corners of his lips curling up into a flirty smile,Â
"stop fucking touching yourself," you sigh, "gonna cum before I even get my hands on you." You're feeling undeniably aroused yourself, you and Gojo have a very active sex life, never going weeks without touching each other unless he is away on a mission. since he made quite the effort with the challenge this time around (largely thanks to you) you've been feeling pretty antsy, participation in the challenge yourself as a way of supporting him,Â
though there's no real pressure on you, if you wanted you could rub one out at any time. the only downside is that getting off on your own never felt as good as it did with Satoru,
he whistles, giving himself one last grope before his heavy hand joins the other behind his head, "yes ma'am" he says slightly teasing tone lacing his voice,
you crawled on top of him, resting your ass right above his knees, "remember Satoru, you're not going to cu-" he cuts you off, waving his hand in front of you, rolling his eyes, "yeah yeah, not gunna cum, I got it," he says snarkily, a little too snarky for someone who was quite literally on his knees begging you to touch his stupid cock, but you digress,
narrowing your eyes at him before sliding your slender fingers over his upper thighs, over his hips, teasing his lower stomach, barely grazing his twitching clothed cock on the way back down, repeating the process a couple of times, sometimes opting to skip over running your fingers over his cock altogether
his jaw is slightly slack, watching your hands intently, "cmon, don't be a tease baby," he sighs, pushing his hips off the bed towards you, "You're in no place to make demands right now," staring into his intimidating eyes challengingly,Â
he bites his lip, shutting his mouth, awaiting your move, pushing his shirt up, resting right under his pecs as you tease your fingers on the short white hairs of his happy trail, right above the hem of his pants,
smile now off his face, looking concentrated as he bites his lip harshly, eyes darting back between your fingers and pretty face, looking so concentrated on what you were doing,
your cunt was aching to feel him inside you, trying to push your own needs out of your brain, feeling nearly impossible as you exposed more and more of his happy trail the more you teased down his pelvis,
finally grabbing the fabric of his pants and sliding them down his incredibly toned thighs, he lifted his hips, aiding you in undressing him, his breathing started to pick up when you looked closely at his cock straining under his boxers
staring at a dark spot where his pre was leaking from his tip under his briefs, trying not to roll your eyes back when he made his cock jump. taking your index finger and rubbing it on the wet patch on the head of his dick, drawing little circles around it, his breath hitching, breathing picking up slightly watching you pull your finger back slowly, a string of cum connecting the two of you,
giving his boxers the same treatment, slipping your fingers underneath the hem and sliding them down, his hips raising again to make your job easier, and he's grinning so hard when your jaw drops open, watching his flushed cock slap back against his tummy, flexing the appendage again, putting on a show for you,
"your cock is so pretty Toru," you marvel, squeezing your thighs together so you can focus on the task at hand, "ur leaking so much," finger tapping his angry head a couple of times, proving your point as the cum makes little 'plap' 'plap' sounds when your finger comes in contact with him,
"There's so much it looks like you already came," you tease, finally wrapping your hand around his warm tip, hips leaving the bed once more to slide into your hand, "hips on the bed please Satoru," you correct, muscles in his thighs and abs flexing as you feel him connect his ankles together behind you,
starting to give him steady shallow pumps and his jaw is slack, eyes rolling back when you twist your wrist over the head of his neglected dick, "fuuuuck baby, just what I needed," he breathily laughs out a smile, "a little faster please," he requests, both hands leaving their place behind his head to grip the sheets by his sides,
"let me know when you feel close," you instruct, waiting to see him nod in acknowledgment before pumping your hand a little faster, sliding effortlessly up and down his cock with vulgar wet sounds thanks to his leaky cock,
"yesyesyes s-shit, squeeze harder," breaths entering and leaving his lungs rapidly as he tips his head back into the pillows, when you follow his instructions he lets out a long groan, abs clenching more frequently, your body jolting a bit every time he fidgeted his legs around the sheets behind you,Â
breathing heavily yourself, free hand coming down to press against the heat between your thighs, a temporary relief as you tried to memorize his every reaction he gives you,
"you close Satoru?" you question, noticing his breath come in shorter pants, warm cock twitching and straining against your hands, his thighs. tensing and unsensing more frequently, all telltale signs of his impending orgasm, "I asked you a question," you emphasized with a strong squeeze at the base of his lengthy cock, "n-no, not close yet, promise," he bites his lip, keeping his eyes screwed shut, sheets between his fingers practically ripping before you continue,
choosing to believe him you keep up the previous pace, squeezing your fingers tight around the tip of his cock on the downstroke and that's when you notice one of his hands abandoning his grip on the poor sheets to cover his mouth, his moans reaching a crescendo, and you know exactly whats happening
He's going to cum, and he lied to you about it
jerking your hand up his cock once more before you let go completely, anticipating his moves when he shoots his head up, hands reaching for his cock and you catch his wrists, pining them above his head, if he had half a mind he would break out of your grip with ease, but he was milliseconds from cumming, not having his usual strength coursing through his body,
"no! Nononono," he's protesting when his back arches, curling in on itself, legs thrashing under your weight as his cock dribbles out long spurts of cum, twitching and throbbing with every string, "Fuuuuck nooo, no, ughhh," he groans at you for ruining his orgasm, whole body twitching,Â
dick starting to soften in his own mess against his lower abs,
"you seriously thought you were gonna get away with that? you asked in an incredulous tone, hes pouting, letting out a long groan of your name before tipping his head forward and making eye contact with you,
"That was sooo mean" he pouts, "ive been saving that load..." he whines out, cock still twitching in the aftershocks,
"what was mean, is when I asked if you were gonna cum and you lied straight to my face," you spat, laughing in disbelief, swinging your legs off his torso while his eyes follow your figure, watching you wipe your hands using a tissue from the box you keep on the bedside table, he groans out your name again, "I'm sorryyyy, was feeling sooo good," he tries to justify
giving him a look that screams are you actually serious right now, as you start towards the door, "sounds like you need a pussyban to me," you deadpan, walking through the doorframe out into the hallway,
"WOAH!! woah, woahwoahwoah," practically teleporting his feet on the floor, hastily pulling up his pants as he chases you out of the room, hot on your trail, "baby! baby, haha, let's not do anything drastic now, kay?" he baffles in disbelief, worry laced in his voice.Â
#i could never put him on a pussyban#letâs be real#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru fic#gojou x reader#gojo fluff#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo saturo#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru smut#jjk satoru#satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x you#satorugojo#gojou satoru x y/n
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haii can i req octotrio, malleus, and leona (all seperate!) with a reader like kokomi from genshin thats also a jellyfish? romantic or not it doesnât matter to me ^_^ also feel free to add more characters the more the merrier :3
Leona, Octatrio, Malleus, Riddle, Vil, Rook, Rollo x Kokomi!Jellyfish!Reader
a/n; i felt pretty inspired so i added quite a few <3
Leona Kingscholar
Leona pretends heâs indifferent, but your serene and calculated demeanor throws him off.
The first time he sees your glowing form under the moonlight, he blinks twice, convinced heâs hallucinating. âTch, whatâs with the light show? Trying to blind me or something?â But secretly, heâs mesmerized.
Your habit of calmly handling disputes in the dorm (often between Ruggie and others) frustrates him. âYou canât just talk people into behaving,â he grumbles, only to watch you succeed every time.
Leonaâs competitive side comes out when he learns about your strategic mind. Chess games with you become a weekly ritual, and losing to you annoys him more than heâll admit.
Despite his gruffness, heâs deeply protective of you, especially when someone comments on your jellyfish-like features. âSay that again, and Iâll show you why you donât mess with jellyfish.â
Sometimes, he watches you float gracefully in water, pretending heâs there for a nap. âStop staring at me, Leona.â âWhoâs staring? Iâm just resting my eyes.â
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul is immediately intrigued by your jellyfish traits and calm demeanorâafter all, youâre a marine creature, and thatâs his territory.
Your bioluminescence is something he secretly envies, though heâll never admit it. âA marvelous ability,â he says while scribbling notes for future contracts.
Your strategic thinking makes you one of the few people who can keep up with him in negotiations. He offers you a job at the Lounge almost immediately, âto better utilize your talents.â
Whenever Floyd or Jade annoys him, Azul uses you as a buffer. âPerhaps you could⌠calm them down?â And, to his astonishment, it works. Even Floyd listens to you.
Heâs absolutely fascinated by your glowing hair and jellyfish-like appendages. âDo they serve a specific function, or are they purely aesthetic?â he asks while trying not to sound overly eager.
Azul secretly finds your tranquil nature soothing. After a long day of scheming, heâll seek your company under the guise of âstrategic discussions,â but really, he just wants to hear your voice.
Jade Leech
Jade is utterly fascinated by you from the moment he meets you. Your resemblance to a jellyfish sparks his curiosity.
He constantly asks you questions about your biology, glowing abilities, and lifestyle. âDo you use your bioluminescence to lure prey, or is it purely decorative?â
Jade enjoys teasing you, especially when youâre peacefully floating in water. âYou look so serene. Itâs almost a shame to disturb you.â Then he splashes you.
He respects your calm and collected demeanor, but heâs determined to find out what flusters you. Watching your serene mask slip is his new favorite pastime.
If someone dares insult you, Jadeâs smile grows even sharper. âI wouldnât recommend making an enemy of a jellyfish, you know. Theyâre far more dangerous than they appear.â
He enjoys your company during his hikes, fascinated by how your glowing presence adds an ethereal beauty to the forest.
Floyd Leech
Floyd is absolutely obsessed with you. Youâre a jellyfish, and jellyfish are coolâend of story.
He immediately nicknames you âJelly,â much to your mild exasperation. âCâmon, Jelly! Letâs go do something fun!â
Floyd loves poking at your glowing features. âWhat happens if I touch this? Will it zap me?â (You have to swat his hand away repeatedly.)
Your calm nature intrigues him. âHow do you stay so chill all the time? Donât you ever wanna, like, flip out?â He sees it as a personal challenge to get you riled up.
Heâs oddly protective of you. If anyone messes with you, Floydâs mood sours instantly, and you have to calm him down before he does something drastic.
Floyd loves dragging you into the water to âswim like real jellyfish.â His playful nature contrasts hilariously with your serene floating.
Malleus Draconia
Malleus finds you absolutely enchanting. Your ethereal glow and calm presence remind him of a fairytale.
The first time he sees you glowing in the dark, heâs convinced youâre some sort of spirit. âAre you a creature of the night, summoned by the stars?â You laugh, which only confuses him more.
He adores your serene demeanor and often seeks your company when heâs feeling lonely. âYou have a calming presence. It is⌠soothing.â
Your strategic mind impresses him. He occasionally consults you on matters of state, and your insight leaves him in awe.
Malleus is enchanted by your glowing features and bioluminescence. He often compares you to the stars and moon. âYou shine as brightly as the night sky,â he says, his voice soft.
Heâs protective of you, especially when others donât understand your unique traits. âAnyone who dares mock your beauty will answer to me,â he declares, his aura dark and foreboding.
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is equal parts fascinated and exasperated by your serene and dreamy nature.
He struggles to reconcile your gentle demeanor with the strict order he upholds. âYou canât just let them get away with breaking rules.â But you always seem to handle things so effortlessly, he canât help but feel a little envious.
The first time he sees your bioluminescence, heâs stunned. âW-What are you glowing for? Is that some sort of trick?â He secretly thinks itâs mesmerizing.
Your calmness has a soothing effect on him during his temperamental moments. When you gently suggest he take a deep breath, he canât find it in himself to argue.
Your strategic mind earns his respect, especially when you help him resolve dorm conflicts with minimal drama. He finds himself seeking your counsel more often than heâd like to admit.
He tries to deny how much your presence comforts him, but when you glow softly under the moonlight, heâs reminded of the beauty of following oneâs heart.
Vil Schoenheit
Vil finds you utterly captivating, both for your glowing beauty and your ability to remain so composed under pressure.
He immediately notices your bioluminescence and praises it as ânatural elegance.â He may even use it as inspiration for his next photoshoot.
Vil admires your calm demeanor but insists on refining your presentation. âGrace comes naturally to you, but you must carry it with intention.â
Your ability to remain poised even under stress makes him jealous sometimes. He spends hours perfecting himself while you seem effortlessly radiant.
The two of you often engage in long conversations about leadership and balance. Heâs impressed by your thoughtful insight, though he wonât always admit it.
He pretends not to care when others praise your ethereal glow, but he canât help but feel proud, especially when you stand by his side at events.
Rook Hunt
Rook is absolutely enchanted by your jellyfish-inspired traits and ethereal aura.
The first time he sees your bioluminescence, he dramatically declares, âMagnifique! You are a creature of the heavens, a glowing gem beneath the sea!â
Rook constantly watches you, fascinated by the way you move and speak. He calls it research, but itâs really just admiration.
Your calmness intrigues him. He frequently tests your patience with his flamboyant antics, but you never falter, much to his delight.
He adores how your strategic mind contrasts with your soft demeanor. âYou are as cunning as you are serene, ma chĂŠrie mĂŠduse.â
Rook writes poems inspired by your bioluminescent glow, claiming that no words could ever truly capture your beauty.
Rollo Flamme
Rollo is conflicted about you. Your calm, composed nature intrigues him, but your glowing features remind him of magicâsomething he loathes.
The first time he sees you glowing, heâs visibly unsettled. âIs this some kind of magic trick? I donât trust it.â Yet, he canât look away.
Your tranquil demeanor softens his usual disdain. He begrudgingly admits that youâre⌠tolerable, though his fascination with you grows daily.
Rolloâs jealousy flares whenever others praise your ethereal beauty. âTheyâre only bewitched by appearances,â he mutters, trying to convince himself heâs not affected.
Your intelligence earns his respect, though he wonât openly say it. He finds himself relying on your calm judgment more than heâd like.
Despite his feelings about magic, he catches himself enjoying the way your glow lights up dark spaces. Itâs almost⌠comforting.
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul ashengrotto#jade leech x reader#jade x reader#floyd leech x reader#floyd x reader#floyd leech#malleus draconia x reader#malleus x reader#malleus draconia#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle x reader#riddle rosehearts#rollo x reader#rollo flamme x reader#rollo flamme#rook hunt x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#vil schoenheit
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Hazbin Hotel - Morning Routines
Kind of a part 2 to the Sleeping Habits Post??? While that one is about falling asleep with them, this one is about what its like to wake up with them. Same lineup; Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer. I... also might have accidentally started a Charlie one so I might be doing more parts to these (・Ĺ_Ĺ)
The Sleeping Habits post (and my other work) can be found on my masterlist >>HERE<<
Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; NSFW in Vox's section; mostly just nuclear powered fluff; somebody PLEASE get Lucifer a doctor the man is so depressed (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ËËâââââ
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Alastor âË âżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§
As gone over in my sleeping habits post, Alastor does not like sharing a bed normally. But if it does happen to be a blue moon and he actually stayed the whole night; it is a sight to behold in the morning.
Alastor's hair is naturally curly. Due to internalized racism (from you know, the 1920s), Alastor insists his hair must be straight and has a crazy hair routine to keep it that way. One of many reasons why his hair is so... gnarly looking.
Right after he wakes up in the mornings though, his bedhead breaks through the illusion. You get to see the glorious sight of Alastor's hair attempting to go back to its natural form. The edges of his locks are making small loops in all directions, and his face is framed in loose ringlets.
Unfortunately, this only lasts for about ten minutes at most before he goes to "fix" it.
Other then getting to see that beautiful sight, the mornings are the same regardless of if he stayed in the bed with you or not; You always get to wake up to his wonderful cooking.
Alastor has unfortunately had to take it upon himself to be the hotel chef. Charlie did try to do it for a little bit, but that resulted in more fires and ambiguous remains then anything. Vaggie and Husk can barely operate a microwave. Nifty is well... Nifty.
So Alastor pops into the hotel kitchen at around 7am to start cooking breakfast for the hotel. More 7:30 if his hair has been particularly unruly that day.
Alastor pokes fun at everyone over being their chef, but he really likes it actually. He will never admit that to anyone though. He finds the mornings relaxing because he gets to just cook, something that he enjoys and thats deeply nostalgic for him. It starts him off on the right foot for the day.
The only times it starts him on the wrong foot, is when Lucifer decides to get up at an ungodly hour (or straight up pull an all nighter), just so he can steal the kitchen and make the hotel breakfast instead.
Lucifer does this because he thinks he is a better chef then Alastor. Surely, Alastor's annoyance is proof of that! But Alastor is actually pissed off because his plans for the morning got set on fire by Lucifer's dumb ego.
Alastor really does go above and beyond as the chef by the way. For a cannibal, you would never expect how respectful he is of everyone's dietary preferences. If your a vegetarian, or even a vegan, Alastor won't blow you off. He will make something for everyone that still works for you, or just make you something special. He sees it less as you having a dietary restriction and more as a challenge of his skills.
Anyways, thanks to Alastor, mornings at the hotel are always extremely nice. Everyone comes down to eat together, hang out, and just be. Its a tranquil time and atmosphere that he has taken great care to cultivate. Sets him up perfectly mentally for his afternoon radio shows.
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Vox âË âżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§
Vox always wakes up with a big sigh. He is very much that type of person whose first thought when waking up is, 'goddamn it, I woke up'. Hates leaving the bed but knows he has to.
At least Vox stops having those thoughts when you become apart of his life.
If your still in the bed when he wakes up, Vox is immediately comforted by your weight on his chest. He cant help but smile as his arms tighten around you. One of Vox's hands starts absentmindedly carding through your hair as he goes over everything he has to do that day in his head.
If your not in the bed when Vox wakes up, it completely fucks with his mind. His sleeping body does not register you moving or getting up at all. So from Vox's perspective, you were in his arms one second then... not. Vox will wake up to you not there and be super confused. He will legit start looking for you like a puppy.
Depending on your relationship status with him, Vox might even just assume that he dreamt/hallucinated the whole encounter with you. Only realizing that it actually happened upon outside evidence.
Operating on the assumption that you two are a thing; Vox now tries to keep his mornings flexible because of you. They used to be very regimented. Vox would wake up, get dressed, grab a coffee, then be right out the door to head to work. But now that your here, the mornings are much more relaxed.
When you first move in, Vox's first order of business is to hire a personal chef. Don't get me wrong, Vox loves it when you cook for him. The guy absolutely melts when you do. But the reality is he loves it a little... too much. Which often results in no breakfast actually being had because Vox ends up dragging you back to the bedroom. Of course, that's if he doesn't end up fucking you right on the counter or kitchen table.
Look. Seeing you by the stove in an apron just does something to him, alright?
If you ever even asked Vox if he knew how to cook, the guy would probably bluescreen. The only thing he knows how to ""cook"" is 'takeout'. (image included) If he tried to boil an egg, he would burn the water.
So yeah. Vox takes initiative to get you two a chef. He doesn't want you to have to cook for him anyway; he wants it to be an act of love rather then an obligation. If you push Vox and say you want to cook for him, he will making heart eyes and be ready to marry you on the spot.
Seriously. Make him cute, homemade lunches for work. Vox will brag about them to everyone. Put adorable love notes in there and everything. The guy will be on his knees.
Regardless of who actually made the breakfast, Vox always has it with you. He may be a busy man, but he makes sure this is a time you get him exclusively. Vox lets you know of his schedule for the day (assuming Valentino doesnt set it on fire ofc) and when he plans on being home.
When Vox leaves for work he actually has a genuine smile on his face. Don't get me wrong, he still hates it and cant wait to get back home to you. But Vox doesn't feel that same crushing dread that he did before.
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Lucifer âË âżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§
It used to be so hard to get up for him. It wasn't uncommon for Lucifer to just wallow in bed for an entire day. But now that your here, everything has changed. Lucifer actually has a reason to get up in the mornings again. He used to just go back to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist.
He is a morningbird by nature, so he often wakes up before you. However, Lucifer hates leaving your arms and the cozy bed. So one of two things happens depending on how he is feeling.
If Lucifer is feeling good, or just particularly lovey that morning; he will pull you extra close to him and start kissing all over you. You'll wake up to the wonderful feeling of fleeting kisses and his smile on your skin. No better way to start the day.
As soon as he notices your awake, Lucifer moves to place quick, chaste kisses all over your face. All while asking, "How are you feeling, Ducky?", "Did you sleep okay?", "Have any fun dreams?".
Lucifer looks at you with the most adoring look in his eyes, desperate to snuggle and feel your skin on his. He wants to listen to you talk about anything and everything.
After awhile of cuddling and pillow talk, you have to be the one to convince Lucifer to get up. He will playfully whine and try to keep you in the bed, but he won't keep it up for long. Lucifer also cant wait to make you a wonderful breakfast and talk more while he cooks too~
Lucifer is a chatterbox when he wants to be. Especially with someone he loves. He basically wants to imbibe your entire being; that includes getting to know every random thought you have and every dark corner of your mind.
But if Lucifer feels the weight of depression weighing him down that morning, he simply snuggles deeper into you when he wakes. His grip on you tightens, and he pulls the sheets tighter around you two. Like he is building a cocoon or trying to shield you both from the outside.
Sometimes you can tell as soon as he wakes up that he is in a bad state. Instead of kisses, you are woken up by the trembling of his small form. Shaking with unshed tears and fresh pain from old wounds.
Lucifer clings to you desperately; the grip of his claws threatening to break your skin. You have to physically force him away from you just so you can look him in the eyes. Even then, Lucifer whimpers and tries to hug you tighter in protest.
He will begin to plead with you. Saying things like "Don't leave me" or "Please stay". You kiss him gently and bring him into your chest as he finally begins to sob. You two stay there for a long time. Lucifer is extra clingy that day. Attached to you at the hip and always holding your hand in his. His heart rate picks up and he starts to get frantic if your fingers slip out of his.
Mornings with Lucifer are overall just very slow. Meandering. Lucifer's safe place has become the bed since the heights of his depression, so he is reluctant to leave it. Some dark part of him feels that the longer he can keep you in bed, the longer he wont have to say an inevitable 'goodbye'.
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FURTHER READING âË âżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§
Its a super silly idea, but I love >>THIS POST<< by @antiheroalastor where you find out Alastor has a extensive skincare routine.
Cute imagine by @voxisdaddy where Vox has to cuddle you to fall asleep can be found >>HERE<<
Then something more spicy, >>HERE<< are some ADORABLE Lucifer aftercare headcanons by @redr0sewrites. Rose writes the rambling, dorky, disaster Lucifer that I have envisioned in my head PERFECTLY.
#I got fucking poetic in lucifers section whoops#me summoning my fear of abandomnent#lucifer is becoming the embodiment of my personal mental illness#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#vox x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar fluff#alastor hazbin hotel#vox hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel fluff#vox hazbin hotel fluff#lucifer hazbin hotel fluff#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin vox x reader#hazbin lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel alastor fluff#hazbin hotel lucifer fluff#hazbin hotel vox fluff#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel alastor x reader
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maybe this is a "hot take," but it's something i genuinely believe is true. aphobes can broadly be sorted into 3 categories: the uninformed, the bigot, and the bully. there is overlap between all 3, and i'm sure there are some people out there who are aphobic in a fun new way that i can't possibly conceive of yet, but i think these categories are fairly accurate and helpful for an aspec to recognize.
the uninformed aphobe is what it sounds likeâ they either don't know anything about the aspectrum or they've been fed false information about it. this is the only type of aphobe that is ever worth engaging with, and only to politely correct them and point them towards resources that would help them broaden their understanding. i'll be completely honest though: you'd be pretty damn lucky if you managed to actually singlehandedly change their mind. if they're not receptive to your corrections, simply move on. it's not worth the headache. you at least gave them something to think about.
the bigot, in contrast, is absolutely never worth engaging with. the bigoted aphobe is aphobic simply because aspec people are queer and they hate queer people. terfs famously used (and still continue to use) aphobic rhetoric as a sort of gateway drug for transphobia. the people who will argue that aspec folks aren't queer are often the same people who despise us because they associate us with queerness.
the third aphobe is actually the most common on this website, i think, and they're the reason i'm making this post. the aphobic bully may know full well the fundamentals of the aspectrum, but they will simplify and misrepresent it on purpose in an attempt to make aspec people look bad. aspec people have long been "acceptable targets" of bullying on this site for a reason that is fairly obvious to me but one i haven't seen anyone else point out: aspec people are largely neurodivergent. it's really no coincidence that ace discourse and cringe culture peaked at around the same timeâ they were one in the same, and the treatment aspec and autistic people received were (and still are) damn near identical. portraying aspec people as cringey teenagers who watched too many cartoons and are just too socially awkward for anyone to love them or whatever... it's a sentiment thats existed for years and years now. it took me a while to realize it, but this is why so many "tumblr funnymen" and other assorted popular blogs were/are aphobes tooâ they've got egos the size of china but they know they can't get away with blatantly picking on autistic people. so they'll hide behind a guise of aspec exclusionism, something that's unfortunately viewed as a real and valid ideology for someone to have. even aside from the thinly veiled ableism, bullies are always coming from a place of insecurity and projecting it onto other people. i've found that a lot of the most vicious aphobes are people who are struggling romantically or sexually. you can see them post about it, you can see even in the most recent discourse so many of these people are deeply stressed and hurt from whatever romantic or sexual struggles they're facing. to them, someone being unconcerned with those sorts of things is almost offensive because it means so much to them. they read it as a challenge to their own allo identity. so, why not take out that frustration on the aspecs?
it goes without saying that the bully isn't worth engaging with, either. they want to rile you up because it makes them feel better about themselves. don't give them that satisfaction.
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Can u maybe do Sonic exe x reader please? đĽş
[Creepypastas] Sonic EXE x Reader Warnings: Gore, Cursing
A/N: Never in my life have I thought that someone would request sonic exe... BUT HEY WHATEVER YOU LIKE LETS GO the gender is not specified
Summary: Just headcannons of Sonic EXE the creepypasta which I never have thought I would do with an x reader character thats abit creepy
- There was many differences between you two in body and personalities mostly with him being a mass murderer plus the fact he's an anthropomorphic video game hedgehog and you're well a a human - He's a cursed item and a short one too - Short king who cares for his partner and would kill for her or kill her when he gets bored lucky enough he hasn't gotten bored of you he enjoys playing and toying with you - Sonic EXE can say some disturbing ass shit that will frighten or startle you or will say the most gruesome things about his recent victims out of nowhere but if he feels like heâs gone too far he will apologize to you but donât expect him to do that for anyone else - When he first did that was when you were making him some chili dogs and he stared at the chili - "You know that reminds me of when I gutted this weird ass girl who were trying to get to me but i gutted her because she would always fail the levels ugh I should taken out her eyes too would of been fun to-" and here cues your horrified face staring at him - When he's running he enjoys you boosting his ego - Heâs never encountered a human that had the nerve to challenge him actually he has but they all were too cocky but you? being aware of your flaws and using it to your advantage made him entertained - This hedgehog cannot die so every time you get so angered in a whole another level he watches as you lash out and for some reason he enjoys every time where you lash out on him - he loves suggesting for you to snap his neck or kill him a horrifying way that he loves to describe as you always say you'd never kill him - He comes back bloodied and would have you wipe away the blood dripping down his red irises and voidless eyes - you both had made a schedule for when he can come to the real world so you both can hangout and pamper each other or when he does his little sprees to kill victims - When he's in his little game hes always watching, making sure your okay you're happy, if thereâs any sign youâre unhappy with a person they make you uncomfy they are dealt with personally - His god complex is high so is his ego you boost it for him a lot - Enjoys bringing back little items from his world to you though he enjoyed the face you made when he gave you a fluffy tail keychain that was quite big the yellow fur and white was beautiful - But when you noticed the dripping at the end where the keychain clip was pierced you pause staring at the tails cute fox videogame character missing one of his tails.. - He enjoyed pampering you he calls himself god he calls you his spouse - kisses are kind of hard to do due to his sharp teeth but hey it works for you both - Love language 100% would be gift giving and words of affirmation or 50/50 he's hard to understand - He does pull strings behind the scenes to keep you safe and make sure you are treated like the royalty you are - Even if he gets his hands dirty I mean he already has them bloodied with the past so whats wrong with another person who messed with you to be his next victim
reblogs + comments are appreciated â¸(ď˝ĄË áľ Ë )â¸âĄ
Šbrights-place 2024 â do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact
#Creepypasta#x reader#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic x reader#sonic exe#sonic the hedgehog exe x reader#sonic exe x reader#headcannons#sonic the hedghog fandom#Exe#creepypasta#creepypasta sonic exe
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Not a request
Idia has this one voice line where it seems yuu asked if his hair burns and he says it only really gets hot when he's angry and then he asks if you wanna touch his hair to feel it then doubles back after feeling like thats weird to say
I think him saying that and then before he can double back, immediately agreeing and successfully getting him to let you play with his hair sounds cute, i can see his hair turning pink at the ends and if you comment on it he is Going to Die
If the height difference is significant mans is forced to sit down with you and try to be normal about the fact you are sitting with him and playing with his hair and maybe even braiding it or something
Its so intimate and a moment of peace to just hang out ...
His hair fascinates me.
Okay but like what if he does go back on telling you that you can touch his hair, but instead of you just ignoring him. You shyly ask if heâs serious. Heâs already embarrassed so all he does is nods.
I personally think his hair is warm. Like just a bit warmer than normal hair. Itâs a comfortable warmth tho. Ngl, I canât comprehend how it might feel. How does fire feel? Itâs so interesting to me. Cus he has put his hair up in a ponytail, and heâs somehow gelled it, so clearly you can style it. But how much can you style it?
I think trying to braid his hair would be fun but also frustrating. I personally think his hair would consume the different strands and make it all one blob again instead of staying separated (sorry people who wanna see his hair braided đ I just donât think thatâs physically possible due to how fire works).
But still, just messing with his hair and separating strands and watching them get engulfed again would be fun. Itâs like playing with fire but in a safe environment. Even tho braids not might work, there are so many styles you can experiment with!
And all the while youâre preoccupied with his hair, Idia is busy trying not to pass out. Youâre touching him. Willingly. And it feels so nice. Youâre so gentle with him even though you donât need to. His hair doesnât get tangled. Itâs a dangerous thing because he could get used to this. If anything, he totally wants you to play with his hair again.
It might turn into a routine thing. Whenever youâre bored you just start messing with his hair and Idia tries not to get distracted while playing his game. Itâs a hard challenge though cus his scalp gets a pleasant tingle every time you gently scratch it and shit. His character died.
EDIT: ok so you can braid his hair! How? I need to dissect him
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst wonderland#Idia shroud#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst wonderland x reader#Idia shroud x reader#x reader
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inner man challenge! (´・⢠ᾠâ˘ď˝Ą`) âĄ
hey babes!! okay, i know i said i was going on break but i got this sudden inspiration and yk i had to make a post!! so this challenge is called the inner man challenge, because it's all about fulfilling your inner man and staying in the wish fulfilled!!
WHAT IS THE GOAL FOR THIS CHALLENGE? â
making the state of the wish fulfilled your dwelling state
fulfilling your inner man
falling in love with imagination
not caring about the 3d
FIRST STEP! â
this is crucial! remove the intention of manifesting to be for getting in the 3d!!! "but girl.. the whole point of manifesting is to get it in the 3d" okay yes, if u want to believe that i can't change your mind. but to get it in the 3d we need to be fulfilled, and you can't be in the SOWF if you are still trying to get it! read this if ur still confused <3
me personally i feel like the reason why some people don't get results from methods, challenges etc is because they are doing the method to get it in the 3d, not to feel fulfilled. but thats just me đ¤ˇđžââď¸
SECOND STEP! â
now for the fun part, decide what you want!! df, db, sp, a billion bucks in ur account, being the smartest of ur class, moving out of your paren'ts home, getting into your dream college, literally go wild!!
THIRD STEP! â
fulfill your inner man when your inner man needs fulfilling! if something bad arises in the 3d that shakes ur confidence, fulfill!
having the urge to look in ur bank account to see if you have a billion bucks? close your eyes, imagine your inner man looking at her bank account and seeing the numbers go up by the second!
one of your family members makes a comment about how ugly you are?? would your inner man care?? NO! bc she's fine asf!
if anything 'bad' happens in the 3d, imagine your inner man saying "uh.. thats cute but i'm living my dream life rn sooo.."
WAIT, IS THERE A SCHEDULE? â
there's no schedule to this challenge!! no "in the morning say 1409834 affirmations, in the afternoon vaunt for 3 hours, in the night do starfish position and affirm for the void" NO!! literally just fulfill your inner man when ur inner man needs fulfilling!!
"don't force yourself to do a method you don't want to do! don't force yourself to visualize the same scene someone else even though it doesn't create any feeling of knowing inside of you and feels like a chore to you. don't repeat affirmations if you don't want to and don't repeat an aff you don't resonate with. do what you think is fun! and do what feels natural to you! by taking the pressure of being perfect off yourself, it's easier to imagine in order to experience, rather than to get it in your 3d." - @remcycl333
HOW DO I STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED THE ENTIRE DAY? â
no need to stay in the SOWF the entire day, we are always changing states! for example, right now you're in the state of reading this post, and i am in the state of writing this post. it's all about making the SOWF your dwelling state! so if you accidentally stay in the state of lack 7 times but you are in the SOWF 8 times, then the SOWF is your dwelling state! (btw don't count the times you enter a state lmao)
ANYTHING ELSE? â
get off tumblr, just delete the app.. like this place is literally just making you overconsume. you have better things to do!
if you have a negative thought don't spiral and think all your progress has gone to waste. breathe in and out, your inner man has it and that's all that matters.
have fun!! this challenge isn't like other challenges (soo quirky i know đ), it's meant to fulfill you instead of making you stress about the 3d. make fun scenarios in your head, vaunt, just have a good time!!
WHEN you get successes (whatever you consider to be a success: feeling that your inner man is fulfilled, or getting it in the 3d) send it to me or make a post about it using #star's-inner-man-challenge!
if you have any questions let me know in my inbox, bye yall!! đ
#star's-inner-man-challenge#imagination creates reality#living in the end#loassumption#manifestation#master manifestor#loa#neville goddard#law of assumption#loa affirmations#manifesting#the law of assumption#manifest#spiritual#spirituality#shiftblr#reality shift#things to manifest#shifters#shifting realities#reality shifting#void success story#void state success story#void state#i am state#loa tumblr#loablr#loa blog#manifest your life#manifest your dreams
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đđđđđđđđđâđ đ
đđđđđđ đđ đđđđ,
đđđ đđ đ
đđđđđđ đđđđđđ. ૮ę°Â´áľ`â
ęąá . .
summary â˘ Ý : what happens when hitoshi shinsou falls in love (slowly but gradually) with one of, if not the most annoying person heâs ever met? how cliche, however, even if he keeps telling himself that â it seems he only falls harder and faster as the days pass, oh no, his dignity.
notes â˘ Ý : reader doesnât have any pronouns mentioned (i think), not proofread.. slightly suggestive, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (and so are you, i appreciate your support very much : 3) đ đ đ making this was so fun!! i love toshi hes so shejjdkddkkeie . . its not really a fic, more so a blurb!! Im definitely gonna be making a part two to this though.
Shinsou was not one who was easily persuaded.
He was stubborn â heâd admit that much. And he didnât exactly enjoy when any one had any sort of leverage over him, a power someone could wield over his head for the foreseeable future. And when entering the hero course, he most certainly didnât think he was going to have any problems there. Well â of course, he was wrong, because of course he was, because when did anything go his way without some kind of failure happening along the way?
The kids in the hero course were a little odd in his own, personal, and very brutal opinion. He had made it quite clear during the joint training that 1-B and 1-A had that he was not here to make friends. He was here to get to his goal, and not get distracted along the way. â or, thats until he met you. Whom, by the way, seemed so very insistent on befriending him. You were worse than Kaminari was, you seemed a little more dense when it came to him throwing hints â or even being straight forward enough to just grumble a âleave me aloneâ, it flew right over your head. Ever so conveniently.
Or so it seemed that way anyways.
Constantly following him around like some lost puppy, as if you didnât have anything better to do, you had friends, he just wasnât sure why you seemed so deadset on pestering and getting to know him that you willingly missed that opportunity. You were either dedicated, or just a creep. However, he didnât mind the advantages too much of you always being around too much, he wasnât a douchebag â asking you to do everything, just whenever he didnât feel like doing it. He was pretty sure he had you wrapped around his finger.
It took him a while to figure out it was the other way around.
âWait, what?â Shinsou said, having to a double take, you had actually declined the offer to go train with him tonight, and then it was apparently because you were going to train with Midoriya instead â when? â Shinsou had most certainly never seen that green headed geek talk to you. Now you were pal enough to train together at night? This must have been some weird joke, because no way youâd refuse him.
However. He kind of mentally stepped back, he reminded himself that you have other things in your life â other people â more important things to do, since when did he become such a â no, since when did he actually want you to hang out with him?
Its not like..he needed to train with you, he could always train alone, like he had before you very annoyingly forced your way into his life like the frustratingly pretty nuisance you were.
âSorry; i know we usually train together, but Midoriya said he wanted to try and test out a new move he had.â You replied, Midoriya was nice and all, but you had a feeling youâd probably get your ass kicked, for such a nice guy. One would think he was a little on the more weaker side, but then again â this was U.A.
That was possibly the most boring training session Shinsou had in a long while.
No one to talk to, or occasionally stare at their sweat covered body as they attempted to catch their breath â and no one to, you know, actually give him a challenge, though it gave him a chance to practice more specifically on using his scarf..
Heading back to his own dorm, there was a sense of unease, a sense of dread, all that with a mix of disappointment, you were probably still out training since Shinsou had wrapped up training early due to the fact he hated the loud silence. Collapsing onto his bed with half lidded eyes, he glanced around the room.
Then thoughts of you appeared, as usual.
He didnât like thinking about you, yet he also loved how it immediately erupted a sense of giddiness that he was usually good at shoving right back down, and he most certainly did not like the way his lips slowly yet surely upturned into a small smile as he was reminded of you, and just thinking about you overall existence had made his cheeks turn a light shade of pink, dusting over his fair skin.
Oh, he was pining hard, and bad.
Shinsou was beginning to admit it to even himself, he could only ignore it for so long, besides â you were a nice distraction, a lovely distraction, you already distracted him without trying, or so he had thought.
You were just so pretty, and sweet, and even after he had so rudely dismissed you and pushed you away, you still seemed so determined, that was a nice quality.
Shinsou would gladly let you distract him.
Š đđđđđđđđđđ (Ő Ü¸. .ܸŐ) ⎠please do not copy, translate, or repost my works.
#૮â ´ ęł `âá vanoilette.posts#vanoilette#shinsou#shinso#hitoshishinsou#shinsouhitoshi#hitoshishinso#shinsohitoshi#toshi#bnha#bokunohero#boku no hero academia#mha#myhero#my hero academia#my hero academia x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#hitoshi shinso x reader#hitoshi shinsou x reader#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinso hitoshi x reader#fluff
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my game probably wont have like....... fighting with bosses and stuff or complex puzzles even though thats funny to think about because its... not what I personally want to play I already know tons of games that will challenge me but I dont know many games that really feel to me like a satisfying "stim toy" to me there are some things that are nice but I'm making something really specific for myself.... I'm like really picky actually so I need to make something that I think is fun... It's more of a collect-a-thon... my biggest inspiration is literally yume nikki that game blew my mind when I first played it ... I was in middle school when I first played it and it really opened my mind of what a video game is.. because it was not about a challenge it was more of an "art gallery" to observe and I always wanted that for my art.. to display it in a game form
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Thank you, next? (Ex!)
Obey me boys (brothers + dateables <except simeon>) past lovers hcs and thoughts about why mc is different from them. <AKA why they fell for you> (By the way i didnt specify any gender in ex's because i talk about all genders!!) Mc is gn too!
(Warning: kinda suggestive. Talking about one night stands and pls, pls spare my grammer mistakes eng. Is not my first language đđ¤đž)
Notes: idk why but i couldn't write for my fav, simeon. Maybe i will add him to this post in future
Lucifer
I dont think his pride let him date someone ever. He stayed in the line of courting and flirting. Like really a lot. He just wanted to see if they were going to gain his affection or not. The persons im actually talking about is always... prideful like him. He never gave a chance to people like Diavolo. (So diavolo was his first in this category AHEM!) Loyals to noble, citizen to high society. It didnt matter to him. He flirted everyone who catched his attention (which is really hard...) and when it happened it just ended with some one night stands. He never felt love. He just liked them for fun, passion or just to... experience. Witches, sorcerers, demons, angels... it really didnt matter to him.
Personas like Mc was out of his lines naturally. His pride didnt even make him thought about it. But as his brothers started to be fond of you, he realised what he misses. The real sincerity he wants, the real experience he aches... that was the first realization of his love for you.
Mammon
He dated people that mostly like him. careless, luxury-loving, praise-loving and boastful... you know the starboys, stargirls, star people like 'amazing' as him. Models, actresses, actors, singers, idols... and even though he never dated a witch he had some one night stands. Sorry for bad example but until meeting mc, dating for him was like leanardo di'caprios love life đđźđ (HE DOESN'T HAVE THE AGE PROBLEM PLS)
The reason he fell hard was how he actually felt some really careness from mc unlike some fake praises or just you know... unnecessary exaggerated sentences. But with mc, he really felt like being listened. Being cared, being not put the role of some jerk.
Leviathan
None. Except you count his 3 months virtual lover lolol?? He was just jealous of his brothers and wanted to experience it but he just really felt like doing some lovers rp in that time. Even his brothers doesn't know this too.
Does he really have to explain? You always acted him nice. Never saw him as a key of something. You really loved to listen his yapping. And never judged him for a something that he actually screwed. Yoy accepted him as a friend, and he did too. But as some time passes... he realised he was in love with his true friend.
Satan
Dating? No. Courting? No. Flirting? For some fun and lust, yes. Just these. Except that he loved to be unique socialite. He loved to feel the 'i want to be with you' eyes on him. He never admits this too. But like a cat, he just loved to gain it. His social connections are everwhere so from witches to sorcerers, models to artists, lower demons to nobles he always got the attention he wanted. But like i said it was just some fun. A passion that lasts as long match. Thats all.
You accepted the challenge of peeling his barriers. And the first time you did... he was really angry. (The moment you declined his pact offer) he really didnt like to fail his achieves. But you didnt like it either. He loved that. But all aside, you found his existential crisis a solve. And you just did it because it became right to you. Not because you wanted to impress him... or lucifer. He felt this in his long life for first.
Asmodeus
... do you really need me to explain? All people. He tried every kind, sort, type, every! As long as he felt like a new kind of challenge, a new kind of lust and being worshiped. When i say everyone i mean it. From the devildom to human world. Even when he was an angel. He was just a bit more careful and less playful then.
Not being able to charm you? Challenge accepted. Being x2 times AND emotionally charmed by you? Take it back. TAKE IT BACK! He always loved to being attached not to attached to someone! But as he knows you more, he realize this is also a new kind of feeling! He always thought live long loves were going to make him so bored and prisoned at some point. And he was right about being prisoned. But did he care? Not anymore.
Beelzebub
Nahh even he did tried to date [he was just curious] it backfired. Whenever the person asked for some alone time or date he always declined because of some kind of planned event with his brothers. And with some time this caused the relationships end naturally. His family was always first for him.
And thats the reason. His family is always FIRST for him. And you, who saved his brother and made his family all happy and together again also were a family member. You were just new in it. You did what he couldnt. He was so grateful to have you... and his admiration for you turned to love. Because he realized how perfect you personality was. Because he realized how his family was healed with you.
Belphegor
He probably always made fun of this topic like an emo boy 𼲠whenever he felt some urges like lust he just had some one night stands. He was so focused on his self hatred side and that made him always look down on love.
And now he also hates about himself for this too. He always felt guilt how this way of thinking made him hurt you. How someone like you, just a human, free him from lucifer and... his own prison. He killed your trust. He literally strangled it with his hand. But still, you found a way to find a new trust again and show to him. He really believed he really didn't deserve you. And when he realized that, he knew what he was feeling.
Diavolo
He did it for learning duty. As the prince of devildom he must know how to court a lady, gentleman or anybody. So he really courted lots of person. He was really kind to them. Even though he was forced to do so with some of them (ahem politic reasons) he never dropped his perfect act. But problem was here. It was all act. He never felt like saying the things he actually said. Or when he spent the night away with them he always felt so weird after with it. Still knowing he was going to marry a demon someday and going to do that anyways, he did not think so much on it.
But never he did think he would fallen love with a human that he invited. At first he really tried to deny and reason himself. Like even though he did break all the 3 barriers and connected them, this didn't gave a permission to have you. Still, he didnt care. He always acted like a good prince and he still does. Doesn't he deserves some really sincerity. Doesn't he deserves your kind actions. Even if its a little bit, doesn't he deserves you?
Barbatos
This mf... bro is the kind of parent that did all kind of things but never let his son doing it. I mean it. When he was using his power freely he did lots of sins about love. Breaking hearts, seducing someone taken to have it himself, then leave them to start a new adventure... man was the owner of the song: heartless. But since he started to serve as diavolo's butler, he changed all of his personas about this. Even his one night stands was so rare. And he is acting like a such a parent about this too. Like when diavolo starts to say about his new courtship bro is yapping like "may i meet them first my lord?" . If there was a thing that didn't changed about him, this was how slowly he would give himself to someone.
And this happened with you too. When he sensed your interest, he hid himself pretty well. But the trouble was, Barbatos realized that your interest was more of a pure curiosity than the curiosity he had experienced in the past. In fact, many people had approached him like this in the past. The difference was that now he had really changed. Goodness, did many year let him forget what was exciting about this... but no. This was so much better. Because for a first time, he wanted to give in really. For a first time he wanted to last it long. Yes he changed a lot. And he wished he did it sooner.
Solomon
I do not think in game he had 700 wives and 300 concubine BUT i think he dated some people for benefits. Like more power, knowledge, etc. Also he had a loong life as human so im sure he had sone interests. But he never felt... the one for him. He just felt nice, giggly, also got the things he wanted. Thats all. "It was nice while it lasted" is the quote for him.
At first he was amused how every brother started to fall for you one by one. This got him curious. He actually thought you were like him and always found a way to charm someone to make them do the things you wanted. But he didn't expect you to be REALLY get attached to brothers because you love them. And it was this easy for you. He was all alone in his thoughts and goals almost in every inch of his life. But you came, didn't question him, just wanted to help him with his loneliness like you did the brothers. You didn't even asked more from him but he wanted to give you more. So he ofdered you to be his apprentice. For him, you were a diamond he had been searching in underground for decades.
#by.aychu#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me mammon x reader#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me satan x reader#obey me asmodeus x reader#obey me beelzebub x reader#obey me belphegor x reader#obey me diavolo x reader#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me solomon x reader
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