#thats talent right there
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dontmixpaintinyourcoffee · 1 year ago
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Hatchetfield introduced entities so beyond comprehension that we can only understand them enough to fear. Endless beings of alien form and cruel intention, that incite world wars with glee and torment select people with a sick favoritism. The world is a game of little consequence, treated with sadistic humor. Entities both ageless and foul so far beyond the human mind that the mere presence of them twists and corrupts the very core of your being.
And you know who the most terrifying characters to me are?
A dude in a full denim suit and some jackass who calls himself Boy Jerry. Incredible
(and also a bird that smokes weed)
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thx-sunsxts-addrxss · 1 year ago
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here :) and i love you too
OH. EM. JEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
IM CRYING THATS GONNA BE SO GOOD-
HOW ARE YOU SO CREATIVE
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luminanightfall · 2 months ago
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.#Ra's Al Ghul#Dc x dp#crossovers#Ra's when he learns that his failure of a grandson that he kicked from the League to die by himself is now a powerful but mentally#and emotionally unstable being#Ra's: Haha free real estate#Danny the mentally and emotionally unstable being in question coming face to face with his seemingly loving and kind grandfather#Danny: Is this..a family?#When it's really not-#Also batman is there too being depressed#jeez you did make it hurt more#thats talent right there#tw: angst#angst#this hurts#i want to save the baby
You said you'd make any of our ideas worse right? Here ya go <3
Au where Danny is blind and Damians younger twin. He was raised basically being told he was abandoned by his mother for his blindness and that his brother was healthy and happy with her. Meanwhile Danny's life was a living nightmare. No one wanted to adopt a blind kid in a small city like Amity Park, so he stayed stuck in the crappy little orphanage with neglectful caretakers. He hated this place and everyone in it, though he had no doubt his life would be much better if he hadn't been blind.
Danny was killed when a drunk driver purposely ran him over for something as stupid as ableism. Unfortunately, dying as a person with a lot of sorrow and angst in his heart inside Amity Park basically ensured he would become a spirit.
No one could have known he would be so powerful though. Or that he would be able to "see" after his death. He soon became obsessed with finding the woman who abandoned him in this tiny city in the middle of nowhere and making her pay.
First, he needed a lair. He found out from research -aka possessing his mothers ninjas that felt like her and by extention, himself- that his father was Bruce Wayne- the Batman, and the first time in forever his heart filled with want.
He wanted a father. Someone who was kind and caring and who would protect him. Someone who would want him in turn.
He wanted brothers who would play with him and tease him and teach him him how to be like them.
He wanted sisters who would stand by him and hug him when he had a bad day and help him get away with things he wasn't supposed to be doing.
He wanted a family. The family Talia had cheated him out of. The life Talia had cheated him out of.
So he picked a mansion. A horrible dilapidated old thing, literally half falling apart. One pulse of his core transformed it into a billionaires dream. Everything was pristine as the day it was built. The gardens outside changed from weeds and grass taller than he was to beautiful paved garden paths, forever in full bloom.
This of course drained his energy and he fell asleep, never taking notice of the "For Sale" sign out near the gates
Needless to say, once he awakened he was not amused to see a couple unboxing thier belongings and taking over his home. He just wanted to scare them. He didn't think throwing heavy boxes across the room into thier heads would kill them, but it did. He killed them and there was no going back.
It was only a few hours later that he discovered whoever he killed within his lair would become a ghost.
A weak ghost fully under his control.
So he continued killing the people who moved in, but was sure to always give them a month to move out, signing a warning on thier calenders. Some left. Most didn't though, and became lesser ghosts.
His obsession with the picture perfect family allowed him to develop the power to trap any one person in a painting, but only one person per canvas and he had to have a full view of thier body and he has to do that double L thing with his hands and line them up in the center.
Once he lures his mother home with a mysterious letter addressed to her mentioning her League he wastes no time trapping her and hanging her portrait in the grand entryway.
He did the same with his Father, inviting Bruce Wayne and his wards to speak about someone committing corporate espionage in his company. Danny didn't actually know what that was but it sounded important, and the end goal wasn't to fool them but to get them here. Sadly nothing seemed to go as planned. First Jason snuck into the mansion as Red Hood a week before the planned meeting time and saw something he wasn't supposed to. Namely one of his victims. So he ordered the spirits to pin the startled Jason to the wall as Danny trapped him.
The painting came out better than expected. You could tell he was startled even with his helmet covering his face simply by his body language. The multitude of transparent arms coming through the wall to pin him made the scene all the more haunting.
The bats grew more concerned with each day that passed with no word from Jason and as the day on the invitation grew closer they begin preparing to go in groups. One group goes as civilians and the other sneaking about as vigilantes and trying to find Jason while Alfred and Barbara stayed behind to keep an eye on them and the mansion respectively.
Cue them arriving at the mansion and being forced to play real life Pac-Man and free thier kin from thier paintings while avoiding getting trapped in one themselves.
Eventually one of them discovered they could actually use the furniture around the house as weapons and Danny couldn't phase through it and they told the others about it so they didn't have to keep relying on Jason's unexplained ability to punch ghosts.
Eventually they manage to temporarily defeat Danny and escape the mansion. It was so hard on everyone listening to him sob from where he was pinned on the ground, begging them not to go. Promising to be the best little brother, the best son, he promised to be good.
Bruce took it the hardest. He had failed another of his children but he needed to get the rest of his family out of the sprung trap before the weaker spirits dug Daniel out of the rubble and the mansion is pulled back into that pocket dimension and captures them again. They had been here a while and he was fairly certain his family could/ go for a round 14 but he wasn't sure they would last beyond that.
So they left. But Bruce silently promised himself he would come back for his son. He kept repeating it over and over in his mind like a mantra to block out his sons desperate cries as they left him behind.
Needless to say the ride back to Gotham was mostly silent as his children processed everything that happened.
So, Ra’s Al Ghul hears from Talia that her son -no not Daiman, the blind one- is now an extremely powerful being that reeks of something similar to the pit.
This caught Ra’s attention, thinking that whoever could effectively catch Talia and trap her is someone worthy of notice. Even more so when he finds out it’s the failure that was cast off the League because he was blind.
So, Ra’s gets Talia to confirm any information she has of the boy’s abilities, and the most notable one was his ability to cast anyone into a painting by making a frame with his fingers.
So Ra’s has this whole plan in mind of how to get the boy to his side. By taking advantage of the boy’s young age and his emotional instability, by pretending to be this kind and concerned grandfather figure that was desperately searching for his long lost grandson for so long.
Ra’s Al Ghul doesn’t really have a sense of danger when facing Danny. Because if it comes down to it he can beat him.(Due to dipping and recovering in the Lazarus pit for decades, Ra’s Al Ghul has acquired the ability to harm ghosts, he also made it the same for his sword.)
So Ra’s goes over and plays the whole, kind and concerned grandfather card. Claiming that his daughter has prevented any attempts at locating Danny. And Danny, being emotionally vulnerable because of Batman’s escape and his breakdown, instantly believes Ra’s and starts to resent Taila more.
So at first he tried to trap Ra’s in a picture frame, claiming that he can stay with Danny forever this way. Leading to Ra’s stopping Danny from forming his frame and fighting back the weaker ghosts with ease, and manipulating Danny even more to get him to come with him. Claiming that he can get him what he most desires and that he loves him too much to just stay in a painting unable to hold his grandson.
It works, and so Danny leaves with Ra’s to the League of Assassins.
Now, Ra’s doesn’t tell anyone about him having Danny, not even Talia(As she is part of his mental manipulating material and can’t let the meet lest they form a bond) and no one else knows until later.
With the time that Batman is fully prepared and wants to take his 10 year old son back home to the manor to give him all the love and care he can and then some.
Only to find the lair empty. No signs of life, not even the weaker ghosts that Danny used last time to trap and keep them at bay. This leads to Bruce spiralling thinking that he was too late to save his youngest son and thinking that if only he was faster none of this would have happened.
 Cue over to Ra’s insulting Danny and telling him that he’s lesser. In hopes of lowering Danny’s self-esteem and making him rely on only him and no one else. If Danny cries, Ra’s holds tightly onto a part of Danny’s body and tells him to be quiet.
If Danny snaps and tries to harm Ra’s, he lets himself be hit enough that he can bleed. Then switches back to the kind and concerned grandfather persona and plays the victim card, saying that ‘I’m only doing these things because I love you”’, “Why would you hurt me? I’m just doing what’s best for you” ex cetera, ex cetera. He also says such things while giving Danny physical affection like a hug and the like, making it strike harder that it’s Danny’s fault and that he should have harmed his grandfather in the first place. As he is the only one that loves him.
Danny(being a literal 10 year old) has no choice but to believe Ra’s. Since his mother abandoned him, never cared about him and stopped his ever so kind grandfather from finding him(lie).
His Father never cared for him. He left him alone under a pile of rubble while he desperately begged for him not to go, taking along the children that he  actually loves with him.(bonus points if Ra’s told Danny that Bruce knew where he was but never did anything about it, even though all the evidence suggests that Bruce is a family man)
The people of Amity Park never cared about him. Hell, one of them even killed him.
Only  Ra’s, no. Only his grandfather is the one being in this world that cares for him and only him. He won’t abandon Danny like the rest of his so-called ‘family’ right? All the while Ra’s is gently telling Danny the words he wants to hear and nudging him onto the path where he resents everyone else and would be only faithful to Ra’s and Ra’s alone.
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kaeyacollection · 9 months ago
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Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!
I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya
Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience
This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:
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and the use of the word "rumored"
Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt
And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt
(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just
Out there in the bush with Razor...)
Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:
"Who's the boy?"
"You mean my son?"
"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"
"I have two sons? You know this??"
But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier
Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again
In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:
"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"
Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a
"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"
Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up
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Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out
And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went
"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"
Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?
Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!
Welcome to the knights! 🤝
Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor
In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?
Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘
Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"
Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away
And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually
I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher
Comment on original post:
"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"
Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:
"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just
"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"
Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just
"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "
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fishing-lesbian-catgirl · 1 year ago
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mango-sideburns · 1 year ago
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My fav thing about TAZ is that any aspect out of context sounds fucking bonkers.
Like, in the balance finale there's a scene in which Garfield (who is very specifically never described visually bc most people imagine him as like. The Lasagna Cat. Who in this universe is the most powerful warlock in the realm and also has a hobby of cloning people, which is great for the one character that got forced into haunting a mannequin) is summoned by an alien spaceship that runs on the power of friendship so he could beat up some flashing balls. In D&D.
And that was just. Such a normal scene in the narrative. No one blinked an eye. I would like to bow down to Griffins clear unmatched talent for making me feel such big emotions over ridiculous shit like a goddamned umbrella or a regular ass pair of jeans or the idea of a taco recipe.
#taz balance#the adventure zone#taz#i have. so many drafts of this post decontexualizing so many different scenes.#merle killing a room of autism creature looking things by asking them to tell the truth which then summons god#also merle retiring from his retirement to run fantasy margaritaville under the title Earl Merle#magnus the mannequin telling taako and merle to find the baby voidfish bc the big voidfish sung at him real hard bc in the century he#just now remembered (bc hes a mannequin not a human boy)#he gifted an alien jellyfish with dozens of shitty wooden ducks. he forgot that century bc his friend fed the jellyfishs baby a book#the gnome version of Teddy Rucksbin turns out to be the universes most competent spaceship pilot. hes also a talented opera singer#a man named Barry Bluejeans is dead and uses his ghost haunting powers to gift the three heroes badges that they cant see#right before theyre shuttled off in a cannonball to save a space lab full of kitschy elevators thats snowing pink tourmaline#barry also uses his ghost powers to hold hands with magnus and make random shapes in midair like a dresser when theyre trapped in a#fantasy version of The Dating Game hosted by ghost Jesse and James Rocket who steal bodyparts if you lose their game.#or like in campaign how a dude who wiped out in the first three seconds of ninja warrior convinces a human wifi router#who owns a bible theme park to take the apparent King of America to the white house on their hovercraft to be trued for treason#after he announced his intent to take over the country in a televised debate with an inuit goddess who is sometimes trapped in the body#of an HR worker all Donald Blake/Thor style#anyways. this show is ridiculous and i love it So Much
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peskyfirefly · 5 months ago
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dedicated to @feitanporter 🖤 happy birthday bestie!
bonus:
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[ image added in mica's honor ]
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tacroyy · 1 month ago
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LMAO YELLING!!! this is from diana wynne jones to her editor—
Dear Miriam, I have been on the phone to Terry Pratchett who sent me a rough draft of a story which is going to be very good, but he is very anxious to know at what stage in the process he actually gets the money.
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xejune · 5 months ago
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If you're still taking troll requests can I ask for hamster!Floyd in a little hamster cage? Maybe he's running on the wheel or eating seeds or looking through the bars all sad at being neglected by Velvet and Veneer? Thanks! 🐹
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this cage is too dang small for that hamster
WOAGH IM SO LATE. i had like sixty different ideas for this and a whole bunch of sketches & i was planning to do at least 2 or 3 of them but the program kept overheating my ipad so i had to bail on that idea. sobbing.
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i cant find most of the sketches rn? (might be in my sketchbook actually) but heres one i did find :3c
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jamieenthusiast · 2 months ago
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uzi is so attractive
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lulalulens · 1 year ago
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There is no way I am the only one who sees how strongly steddie coded are Evelyn and Rick O'Connell
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philzokman · 1 year ago
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natsume soseki did not say "don't say 'i love you', instead say 'the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it'" FOR NONE OF YOUS TO WRITE IT INTO UR FICS!!!!!!!!
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dialtownbutinthe80s · 8 months ago
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the brothers (please more chip and reuben content I need angst)
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tibialtybalt · 3 months ago
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He's so embarrassing
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persephoneprice · 8 months ago
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Whoever made that Lamina/Treech edit on TikTok to The Alcott….count ur fucking days
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maythedreadwolftakeyou · 1 month ago
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if i could draw it would be over for all of you. i would make everyone look at my blorbos every day.
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