#thats partially my fault
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i did this for the monaco grand prix but i finished it too late 🥲
#thats partially my fault#pookie boy#piastri looks so ethereal on podium omfg#OP81 win when???#i need a landoscar 1-2 rn its not even funny#fanart#oscar piastri#formula 1
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actually yknow what, think im gonna stop posting my art for awhile. Dunno if it'll make anything better, in fact I think it might make things worse, but at this point posting shit doesn't make me feel good
#been feeling kinda... othered I guess#like im not a part of anything#(although thats partially my fault)#and sharing stuff just kinda exasperates the loneliness#might just be a goin through a funk and be back at it in a few days#but i dunno shits rough rn
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so i read the infinite noise last week
(to clarify i fucking loved it i just had a lot of emotions)
#joe speaks#joe rambles#the infinite noise#the bright sessions#my entire brain has been the bright sessions recently this is all sarah's fault#caleb and adam are sooooo precious to me and thats partially bc they hit really close to home bc adam is basically me#i would like to personally thank lauren shippen for ruining my life (/pos)#i could write a fucking ESSAY about adam and how similar we are and how much he makes me feel seen#i have now read the infinite noise two and a half times in one week#been carrying it around in my bag like a safety blanket
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aha. fantasy high doodle dump. can you tell i have a favorite
#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#potatart#gorgug thistlespring#ragh barkrock#zelda donovan#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#thistlerock#goragh#i dont know the name for zelda and gorgug sadly#but i just like seeing gorgug happy. tbh#Its taken me multiple tries to draw fabian in a way i was satisfied with. every other time he looked so ugly im sorry#its not his fault. my cursed hands#the way i draw orcs reminds me of ... badgers i think#thats ny thought process when drawing gorgug and ragh#sorry if that is strange i cant tell#whevehsbevjdvdjdvdjd i feel myself getting embarrassed but yknow. whatever#i like them!!! my house!!!! im allowed to be happy!!!!!!#words of affirmation#okay. okay#i draw other characters too i think my brain is just broken a little bit#bonus note i forgot to add the way i draw ragh and gorgug is partially inspired by dungeon meshi's interpretation
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i sent my mommy the super sexy hot calvin klein video and she didn’t respond 😔😔😔😔😔😔
#🔪 - mello talks too much#is this how society is#it’s partially my fault#she’s on a date#and i said#”watch this before your date. gotta keep ur standards high 💯”#LMAOAOAAOAOAOAOA#BUT THATS GUNNY#MOM PLS
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what if I made you look at my OCs again though. they're all I've been drawing lately
#(and i've been drawing a Lot)#here is a handful LOL#partial nudity#AGAIN.... SORRY......#thats just how they are unfortunately not my fault i didnt do it on purpose#anyway its been mostly these 3 as you can tell lmfao#art tag#im shy about ocs bc theyre so personal to me#but also sometimes i do want to share art i make#so who knows if this will stay up or not but for now it is#looking back on it i think the second image is a bit ?? if you have never seen my ocs at all#so fyi. its his (the guy on the ground.) suit she stole & is wearing#its a hashtag symbolism thing you get me
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sister is going out w friends soon
#cat's rambles#smh. my irls never ask me to hang out 😔#yeah no thats my fault. they probably think i dont want to#which is partially true-
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Joel did not put his whole pussy into being an insane housewife and compete to be the #1 Ethogirl and wear Ethos face on his shirt all season for you guys to say his relationship/allyship with Etho was forced just because it was a soulbond
#boat boys#smalletho#I GET trying to make the bad boys extra important to him I GET IT#but this just. is a misreading thats so popular rn its driving me crazy#HE was SO enthusiastic abt allying with Etho even when Etho was jokingly distressed#in general people have a problem with discrediting Joels relationships and Im like. beating all your doors down to tell you Scar and Grian#were important to him in LL. he wasnt alone in LL.#I would say this is partially my fault for people misunderstanding the focus of my alliance metapost#but that has like under 200 notes so its really Not on me tho#prisspeaks#no hate or hard feelings to the people who have been saying this. I Get why you are I really do#its just smth thats been driving me crazy lately. how quickly we forget…#discourse
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im at my limit reading books marketed as capital Q ~Queer~. people said "let queer books be bad!" and meant it seriously. either the plot and characters arent fleshed out beyond basic tropes, or the plot and characters arent fleshed out plus theyre cis plus theyre white plus theyre written in weird regressive ways for straight palatability and understanding plus its misogynistic plus its EXTREMELY CISNORMATIVE I MUST REITERATE (in a bioessentialist way, ALWAYS) plus if its a contemporary then one character WILL be a fan of tswifft and thats their whole personality
if anyone has any good or FINE recs ill take em 😪
#if. IF. there is a trans woman she WILL be a girlboss and thats her whole thing for her 1 speaking line#if. IF. there is a nb person they WILL be GenderQueer GenderFuck in a suit and lipstick and heels and also really mean????#gay men ONLY want capital C Cock and the treatment of bottoming will be Weirdly Feminized#yes he does the cooking yes he does the cleaning also.#one of the gay women will be SICK of MEN and the other will be a gold star. they are both feminine or possibly 'futch'#theres never a butch but a masc WILL be aggressive and possessive and obsessive.#AND THE STORIES ARENT EVEN WRITTEN WELL!!! THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A GOOD PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is partially my own fault for only reading the library new release shelf or whatever catches my eye on hoopla ....#but im still mad abt it.
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THANK GOD she didnt kill me 😭
#i think shes annoyed with me BUT THATS OKAY#i got outta it without her killing me to death#i love blaming things on my dad (this is partially his fault)#also we're gonna meet to rehearse sometime this week so its fineee
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew
#this cousin of mine has twins#twin boys#and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them#i realy cant wrap my head completely around it#because well#its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children#especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured#like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets#doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see#that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected#he knows he is neglected#he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him#be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin#theyre literally just 5 years old#the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK#does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND#the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake#thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK#and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him#my heart fucking cries man#the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies#and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED#HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE#F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him#and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she#pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT#the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN
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Thought about theatre
Got sad again
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#rotating dwarves in my head#specifically my headcanons about Driller being partially/mostly blind (mole) and Scout being mostly deaf (thats why he's so loud/annoying)#and thus they hate eachother <3#(Driller has perhaps blown Scout up accidentally. a couple times.)#not his fault Scout grapples to his quite loudly beeping c4#(Scout does not hear it)#(Driller doesn't see him grapple into it)
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me, 30 minutes ago: its 1 am and i should sleep <3
me, immediately after: refreshes tumblr, decidedly does not go to sleep
#i say this like its funny haha#but tbh it is mostly because i am so fucking. Devastated about the horrible shit happening to palestinians#i saw so many videos and pictures today of such horrible things that they’re suffering through right now#and im seeing it through a screen from my safe little bubble in my house and its still destroying me emotionally and mentally#i cant imagine the fear and horror they must be feeling in gaza#and the fact that they have probably felt this fear and horror for a very long time because of israel’s ethnic cleansing of their people#im in such a privileged position and the least i can do is spread awareness and i donated what i could and i have plans to reach out to my l#local government and encourage them to speak up and condemn the genocide of palestine and im looking for local protests and shit like#im gonna do what i can but i know i cant do enough as just a singular individual with low social impact and not a lot of money#but i’ll still do what i can no matter what#i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i sat back and said nothing while the palestinians suffered so much#which honestly i already did because i wasn’t educated about it prior to this past week and thats entirely my fault#i mean partially i know its western civilization not showing the horrors that israel has committed but i try to stay in the loop on things#and try to be aware of things happening in the world and i failed to become aware of this before now#i could have been doing more for years to try and spread awareness for palestine and i never did and i wish i could go back and change that#but i cant#but what i CAN do is speak up now that i know and spread awareness and refuse to let palestine go down without a fight#sorry this is a fandom sideblog i know ive been posting a lot on my main blog and i do need to go to bed and whatever#its just hard to sleep knowing that as i sit here safe and comfortable in my bed there are children families innocent people dying in gaza#and the world is actively and successfully trying to paint palestine as the bad guys#its fucking awful and despicable
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ive been going to work and passing out when i get home cause mother nature decided i dont deserve life this weekend/week
#~kei babble {OOC}~#~like the cramps and everything have been unreal#~its also partially my fault for eating salty foods#~but thats what ive been craving#~so sue me
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