#thats partially my fault
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i did this for the monaco grand prix but i finished it too late 🥲
#thats partially my fault#pookie boy#piastri looks so ethereal on podium omfg#OP81 win when???#i need a landoscar 1-2 rn its not even funny#fanart#oscar piastri#formula 1
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actually yknow what, think im gonna stop posting my art for awhile. Dunno if it'll make anything better, in fact I think it might make things worse, but at this point posting shit doesn't make me feel good
#been feeling kinda... othered I guess#like im not a part of anything#(although thats partially my fault)#and sharing stuff just kinda exasperates the loneliness#might just be a goin through a funk and be back at it in a few days#but i dunno shits rough rn
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aha. fantasy high doodle dump. can you tell i have a favorite
#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#potatart#gorgug thistlespring#ragh barkrock#zelda donovan#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#thistlerock#goragh#i dont know the name for zelda and gorgug sadly#but i just like seeing gorgug happy. tbh#Its taken me multiple tries to draw fabian in a way i was satisfied with. every other time he looked so ugly im sorry#its not his fault. my cursed hands#the way i draw orcs reminds me of ... badgers i think#thats ny thought process when drawing gorgug and ragh#sorry if that is strange i cant tell#whevehsbevjdvdjdvdjd i feel myself getting embarrassed but yknow. whatever#i like them!!! my house!!!! im allowed to be happy!!!!!!#words of affirmation#okay. okay#i draw other characters too i think my brain is just broken a little bit#bonus note i forgot to add the way i draw ragh and gorgug is partially inspired by dungeon meshi's interpretation
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i sent my mommy the super sexy hot calvin klein video and she didn’t respond 😔😔😔😔😔😔
#🔪 - mello talks too much#is this how society is#it’s partially my fault#she’s on a date#and i said#”watch this before your date. gotta keep ur standards high 💯”#LMAOAOAAOAOAOAOA#BUT THATS GUNNY#MOM PLS
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what if I made you look at my OCs again though. they're all I've been drawing lately
#(and i've been drawing a Lot)#here is a handful LOL#partial nudity#AGAIN.... SORRY......#thats just how they are unfortunately not my fault i didnt do it on purpose#anyway its been mostly these 3 as you can tell lmfao#art tag#im shy about ocs bc theyre so personal to me#but also sometimes i do want to share art i make#so who knows if this will stay up or not but for now it is#looking back on it i think the second image is a bit ?? if you have never seen my ocs at all#so fyi. its his (the guy on the ground.) suit she stole & is wearing#its a hashtag symbolism thing you get me
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sister is going out w friends soon
#cat's rambles#smh. my irls never ask me to hang out 😔#yeah no thats my fault. they probably think i dont want to#which is partially true-
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Joel did not put his whole pussy into being an insane housewife and compete to be the #1 Ethogirl and wear Ethos face on his shirt all season for you guys to say his relationship/allyship with Etho was forced just because it was a soulbond
#boat boys#smalletho#I GET trying to make the bad boys extra important to him I GET IT#but this just. is a misreading thats so popular rn its driving me crazy#HE was SO enthusiastic abt allying with Etho even when Etho was jokingly distressed#in general people have a problem with discrediting Joels relationships and Im like. beating all your doors down to tell you Scar and Grian#were important to him in LL. he wasnt alone in LL.#I would say this is partially my fault for people misunderstanding the focus of my alliance metapost#but that has like under 200 notes so its really Not on me tho#prisspeaks#no hate or hard feelings to the people who have been saying this. I Get why you are I really do#its just smth thats been driving me crazy lately. how quickly we forget…#discourse
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew
#this cousin of mine has twins#twin boys#and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them#i realy cant wrap my head completely around it#because well#its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children#especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured#like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets#doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see#that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected#he knows he is neglected#he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him#be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin#theyre literally just 5 years old#the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK#does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND#the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake#thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK#and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him#my heart fucking cries man#the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies#and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED#HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE#F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him#and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she#pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT#the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN
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Thought about theatre
Got sad again
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#rotating dwarves in my head#specifically my headcanons about Driller being partially/mostly blind (mole) and Scout being mostly deaf (thats why he's so loud/annoying)#and thus they hate eachother <3#(Driller has perhaps blown Scout up accidentally. a couple times.)#not his fault Scout grapples to his quite loudly beeping c4#(Scout does not hear it)#(Driller doesn't see him grapple into it)
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gah i need a better paying job!!
#shit's tight ngl#partially my fault cause im bad with money recently#ive also been socialising more than last year which yeah thats good#also new relationship = loads of going out for dinner#BUT ITS TAKING ITS TOLL#and travelling to office........ fucking rail is so expensive dude#and then i started learning to drive which has been taking a good chunk of my salary#i wish i was freelance#i dont feel ready to be freelance#i also feel very imposterish even though ive got a good few years of industry experience#but its not the kind of experience i feel i should have for a role of a mid#idk want a higher price tag but i dont think this job has taught me the skills needed#its certainly a -place- to be mentally#i want more but i dont think i deserve it right? fucked man#akai speaks
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me, 30 minutes ago: its 1 am and i should sleep <3
me, immediately after: refreshes tumblr, decidedly does not go to sleep
#i say this like its funny haha#but tbh it is mostly because i am so fucking. Devastated about the horrible shit happening to palestinians#i saw so many videos and pictures today of such horrible things that they’re suffering through right now#and im seeing it through a screen from my safe little bubble in my house and its still destroying me emotionally and mentally#i cant imagine the fear and horror they must be feeling in gaza#and the fact that they have probably felt this fear and horror for a very long time because of israel’s ethnic cleansing of their people#im in such a privileged position and the least i can do is spread awareness and i donated what i could and i have plans to reach out to my l#local government and encourage them to speak up and condemn the genocide of palestine and im looking for local protests and shit like#im gonna do what i can but i know i cant do enough as just a singular individual with low social impact and not a lot of money#but i’ll still do what i can no matter what#i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i sat back and said nothing while the palestinians suffered so much#which honestly i already did because i wasn’t educated about it prior to this past week and thats entirely my fault#i mean partially i know its western civilization not showing the horrors that israel has committed but i try to stay in the loop on things#and try to be aware of things happening in the world and i failed to become aware of this before now#i could have been doing more for years to try and spread awareness for palestine and i never did and i wish i could go back and change that#but i cant#but what i CAN do is speak up now that i know and spread awareness and refuse to let palestine go down without a fight#sorry this is a fandom sideblog i know ive been posting a lot on my main blog and i do need to go to bed and whatever#its just hard to sleep knowing that as i sit here safe and comfortable in my bed there are children families innocent people dying in gaza#and the world is actively and successfully trying to paint palestine as the bad guys#its fucking awful and despicable
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inventor of airpods i am going to kill you
#did these work perfectly for four years before i fell in a pond with them yes so is this my fault partially#but i still disagree with them on principle why did you make something that doesnt need to charge charge thats so fucking stupid#mine#<- forgot i had that tag
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ive been going to work and passing out when i get home cause mother nature decided i dont deserve life this weekend/week
#~kei babble {OOC}~#~like the cramps and everything have been unreal#~its also partially my fault for eating salty foods#~but thats what ive been craving#~so sue me
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hey ignore my tags guys
#all i remember is her skeleton profile and her suicidal tendancies#its been years#i dont remember her name#i cant find her in my friends list - maybe i accidentally deleted her while cleaning it out#i still feel like its partially my fault#i did everything i could to stop her. it took a toll on me#she was one my first online friends. i was 11.#i lost my friend to suicide at 11 years old. i learned at 11 years old to comfort ppl who were serious abt committing#i couldnt help her#i dont even get to know for sure thats what happened to her#thats the worst part#i dont know if my friend is alive#i miss her
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