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#thats already almost less than 24 hours from now
the-converse-high-top · 3 months
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this is ridiculous and a bit deceptive of them tbh
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system-of-a-feather · 2 years
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I love XIV even if i don't think i can handle him for more than a few hours irl. will i accidentally enable some of his anarchist ideals? probably. He makes a compelling case! Im sorry for giving him the go ahead to set the police station on fire!
asdfasjdflk MEEEEE MEEEEEEE I KIN YOU MAN XD I KIN YOU.
He's always stated that he is an "acquired taste thats not for everyone" cause he's literally like... 24/7 rambling and raging about how everything in society is broken and in need of some sort of extreme violent response to get shit to change and while he means it, he doesn't actually intend to do anything on it (yet) because he's invested in seeing our methods out so as long as we listen to his critiques
Like we are almost done playing Cyberpunk and like.... Johnny Silverhand is so much literally XIV to T to the point that XIV has actually accepted Johnny as a name for some peers and from our fiance who has been stating that Johnny is essentially XIV since like less than a week or two into knowing XIV. I can't think of a single thing about Johnny that isn't included in the XIV package to every good and bad aspect.
But XIV is a lot. When we were first figuring things out together one of our largest fights were because I was having a stressful time already and him existing was driving me insane with how I literally Could Not Deal With Him at the time and that only made everything 40x worse. It took me a while to get used to him but now we just are both near the front regularly. I've just learned to look at the camera office style when he starts shit or says something insane and unhinged like sir. I'm a straight laced hippie genki shounen boy why....
-Riku
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mxchellesworld · 3 years
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punk rock princess
spencer reid x reader
synopsis; where spencer’s working on the final paper for his third phd meanwhile you take on the task of making sure he takes a break.
warnings; smut, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, sub!spence if you squint, nipple piercings;),
a/n; i’m not saying this is my fantasy but .. this is my fantasy,, inspired by this song, y’all know the drill. you don't have to listen while reading but i always love to set the vibe. lastly y/n doesn't have any mentioned features or looks besides piercings/tattoos,, the rest is all up to you:)
pls send in feedback!
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***
A shiver crawled down your spine from the first squirt of dye hitting your scalp. The bubblegum pink shade being a change from the firey red which inhabited your head a mere 24 hours prior.
The process was muscle memory at this point. Brushing out your hair then parting and sectioning it off. However that was the only methodical part. The fun was in slapping on the dye, not a single worry about staining your hands or neck.
The sounds of heavy drums and bass guitar bounced off the walls in the bathroom of the small apartment. Even though the door was shut it wasn't enough to stop the sound from flowing into the living room where your boyfriend was working.
Spencer sat at the dining table, flipping through copious amounts of folders and books. His third thesis in the process of being written. The computer screen in front of him looking back with a mocking glow. Since apparently things had to be digital now.
Your feet padding on the wooden floor made him look up from the pages. Humming to the music as you walked into your bedroom. Then back out a few seconds later holding a towel and robe.
A small smile tugged across his face. Ever since you had moved in together he loved to watch your day to day actions. The way you played your music concerningly loud, your skincare routine which included cleaning your facial piercings. What fascinated him the most was that in the 13 months you’d been together he’d seen you dye your hair 7 times.
Not including any touch ups.
He stood from his place at the table, making his way to the bathroom. Two quick rasps on the door to check if you were decent. The action made you giggle.
“Come in!” you called, “I don’t know why you knock weirdo you’ve seen me naked plenty of times.”
A blush spread across his cheeks from both your words and your state of undress. His eyes tried to focus on the splotches of color on the counter, keeping the blood flowing to the head on his shoulders.
But it was hard when the sheer bralette you had on did very little to hide the metal bars in each of your breasts.
“Spence?” you said snapping a fingers in front of him.
He cleared his throat, eyes snapping to your face which held a smirk.
“Are uh those n-new?” he questioned, hand going to scratch the nape of his neck.
The usual silver balls at the end of the bars were now tiny jewell hearts. The color was a little hard to tell due to the material of your bra but from the change in your hair he could almost bet money they were also pink.
With swift hands you unclipped your bra and threw it on the closed toilet seat before turning to face him.
“Got them when I bought the dye yesterday,” you said pushing your boobs up with your hands, “You like?”
Spencer’s eyes were as big as saucers, frantically nodding, “Y-yeah they look nice.”
You dropped your hands to your hips, tugging off the shorts you had on. The wide brown eyes before you couldn’t get any bigger, trailing down your frame stopping to admire the bar in your belly button along with the ink which littered your ribs.
He watched as you got to your knees, turning on the bath faucet. You dipped your head under the water, a stream of pink filling the tub.
The slope of your spine bent over was a sight he'd seen more than enough times. He could pinpoint the beauty marks on your left shoulder, the small sun he sketched which ended up permanently on the back of your neck. But if he let his gaze drift a little further south he could see how deliciously the dark lace looked barley covering up your most intimate parts.
A smack to his calf got his attention.
“Earth to Spencer! Can you hand me the shampoo,” you asked which came out sounding a bit muffled.
He quickly scurried to the tub and reached over to grab the bottle, squeezing a bit of gel onto your open palm.
"I'm gonna go work on my thesis some more," Spencer said slowly shutting the door behind him.
Making his way back to the living room, he pulled a few files and sat down on the couch. Glasses sat on the bridge of his nose and red pen between his teeth and he stared in concentration.
They were the same words he had read over and over again. The lack of sleep causing a dull ache in his skull.
"You need to take a break love," you said walking over and sitting next to Spencer on the couch.
"I did take one," he argued back flipping through the file.
"Gawking at me before I shower for 2 minutes isn't a break," you said with a giggle, the warmth flooding back to his cheeks, "Cmon 25 minutes at least without a file in your hand. "
When he didn't respond you took matters into your own hands. Ripping the file from his grasp, earning a grumble of disapproval before you straddled his hips. Your arms circled his neck and your hands went straight to the back of his scalp, fingertips running in soothing motions.
"Isn't this so much better baby," you asked whispering in his ear.
He nodded quickly, staying silent as he let his actions speak louder. His large palms went right to your plush hips. Bucking up as he led you to grind yourself on his lap.
Letting his hands explore the material of your satin rope he could feel the lack of undergarments on your frame. Spencer dared to let his hands dip under the black fabric and take each one of your cheeks in the palm of your hand with a gentle squeeze.
You could feel his cock stiffening under you. If you looked down you'd probably be able to see a wet spot on his sweats, most likely a mix of your arousals.
Leaning forward you let your lips attack his neck, placing sloppy kisses sure to leave marks. The process of licking and biting making Spencer hold onto you tighter, almost as if he had his very own vampire to mark him up.
Trailing up to his ear you bit on the lobe before whispering, "Tell me what you need baby."
Lust filled brown orbs met your own as you each continued your steady grind.
"Please fuck me," he pleaded.
If only he knew how wrapped around his finger you were. As pretty as he sounded begging you'd give him anything.
You pulled the metal frames off his face, tossing them to the other side of the couch. He had complained one too many times about foggy glasses during sex. No matter how cute you thought he looked.
Your hands slid down his torso and reached to pull down his sweats. His precum soaked length was heavy in your hands. Pretty pink tip leaky and throbbing already. The first few pumps had whiny moans slipping from his lips, red from biting so hard.
"Unwrap me baby, it's all for you," you said tilting your head down, motioning to the strings holding your robe together.
Quickly he let his slender fingers go to the ends, a swift tug and it was like opening a gift on Christmas. Leaning forward he let his lips wrap around one of your nipples. A strangled moan leaving your mouth from the stimulation.
With a raise of your hips you lined his cock with your opening before sliding down. You both sighed at the same time, the feeling of him stretching you out and your warm walls hugging his length was just too good.
Slowly you rocked your hips testing the waters, soft gasps and curses left your lips. You could feel very vein and inch stuffed inside you.
Spencer on the other hand was having an out of body experience, there wasn't an inch of your skin which was left untouched. Unkissed. After you were settled he raised his hips meeting you halfway with each thrust.
"You're doing so well baby," you cooed down at him, "You love when I ride you hm? Best fucking seat in the house."
His eyes shut closed in pleasure as your pace quickened, "Love it so much. So so pretty," he mumbled out.
His arms pulled you close again. Chest to chest as you continued your movements. Your lips met in a lazy kiss, panting in each others mouths when you ran out of air.
You could feel him pulsating inside you. The iron grip he had on your hips as he helped drive you up and down on his cock was sure to feel sore the next day. His shoulders were sure to have corresponding crescent marks from your nails digging in.
"Touch me Spence m'so close love," you said breathlessly.
One of his hands fell down to the space where you both connected. Skilled fingers rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves in quick circular motions.
Loud moans escaped your lips. Your head fell back to the familiar junction of his neck and shoulder, biting the skin in order to stifle your noises of pleasure.
"Y/n I can't hold it any longer, please cum with me," he whimpered out.
Nodding your head you grabbed onto the back of his neck, "Right behind you baby. Let go for me, I got you."
With a few more upward thrusts you felt him pull you down onto his cock, warmth spreading in your tummy. The feeling of his seed filling you up and his euphoric groans sent you over the edge.
You both rode out your orgasms, swiveling hips and satisfactory sighs of release leaving your lips.
After a few minutes of content silence listening to the music still flowing through the hall you moved to get up, the sticky mess between your thighs less than comfortable.
Warm arms kept you in place, denying your movement.
"Spence I gotta clean up," you said trying to push yourself off his chest.
"If I remember correctly you said at least 25 minutes and from my calculations I have 3 minutes and 38 seconds left of cuddle time," the lanky man under you said matter of factly.
You rolled your eyes, sighing but resting your head back on his shoulder, "If I get a UTI thats 3 minutes and 38 seconds of me playing screamo in your ear at full volume."
With one last squeeze he kissed the side of your head, the scent of ammonia only sightly bothering him, "Worth it."
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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years
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Quirks
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader with OCD
Thank you to the anon who requested this and consulted with me on OCD!
Disclaimer: It it not my intention to glorify or romanticize OCD with this story. I consulted with multiple people who have OCD to develop this character.
Masterlist
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“Are you ready for bed?” Peter asked as he climbed under the covers on his side. It was your first night in Peters apartment after moving in with him, and you had a nervous feeling in your tummy. There were things about yourself you had begun to notice, and you wondered how long it would take for Peter to notice as well.
“Almost.” You nodded as you knocked on the wall behind you four times. You climbed into bed beside Peter as if nothing happened, leaving Peter puzzled.
“What are you doing?” Peter chuckled as he watched your movements.
“If I don’t do this, I can’t sleep.” You said simply.
“Okay.” Peter laughed again, making you wince a little.
“I know it doesn’t actually help me sleep.” You admitted. “I just need to do it.”
“Wow. I can’t wait to see all the other little quirks you’ve been hiding from me.” Peter smirked as he leaned over to kiss you.
“Yeah.” You laughed nervously. “Quirks.”
~
Peter woke up the next morning to the feeling of you playing with his hair, soft fingertips brushing it off his forehead.
“Good morning sleepy head.” You said through a yawn as you combed his hair off his face.
“Good morning to you too. Are you hungry?” Peter asked as he rubbed your shoulders.
“Um, what time is it?” You sleepily rubbed your eyes.
“111:23” He answered after checking his phone.
“I’m okay.” You decided, despite your stomach growling. “I’ll wait until lunch.”
“Are you sure?” Peter noticed the growl. “I can make you something.”
“I’m sure. Sure, sure, sure.” You told him. “I’ll wait until lunch.”
Once the clock hit an even number, it was lunchtime. You walked into the kitchen at 2:24 feeling famished.
“God I’m hungry.” You patted your stomach. “Do you have anything to eat?”
“Let’s see.” Peter said as he opened his cabinet. “I have honey and boxed Mac and cheese.”
“Ooo. This a fancy restaurant.” You teased as you hugged him from behind.
“Shut up.” He laughed and turned around in your arms. “I haven’t gone shopping in a while.”
“It’s fine. We’ll go tomorrow.” You told him before kissing him. You broke away from him and took out the macaroni while he got out a pot and filled it with water.
“Here you are my love.” Peter carried the heavy pot with ease and placed it on the stove.
“Thank you. How long does the box say to boil it for?” You asked as you turned the heat up on the stove.
“11-13 minutes.” Peter read off the back of the box.
“Okay.” You nodded as you set the timer to 12 minutes. “Okay, okay, okay.”
“So precise.” Peter joked, making your face flush.
“Yup.” You forced a laugh and kept your tone light. “I just like to be precise. I definitely don’t feel like I can’t eat the macaroni unless it cooks for exactly 12 minutes.”
“What was that?” Peter asked curiously when he didn’t understand what you said.
“Nothing.” You looked over your shoulder and smiled at him. “It’ll be ready soon.”
~
A month later, Peter walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth. You were already in there, leaning close to the mirror and pressing on all your teeth.
“What are you doing?” Peter chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.
“I need you to check my teeth.” You turned around in his arms with a panicked expression.
“For food?” He asked and looked at your teeth. “They’re all good.”
“No, for any loose ones.” You told him and he let out a short laugh.
“Why would your teeth be loose?” He raised an eyebrow, thinking you were kidding.
“They’re not. I know they’re not.” You said, mostly to yourself. “Could you just confirm for me that they’re not?”
Peter found the request strange, but obliged and pressed on your teeth the way you had.
“All good.” He confirmed. “Nothing loose.”
You sighed in relief and turned around again, leaving Peter curious about the encounter. He shrugged it off and walked back into the bedroom, changing into his Spiderman suit while you finished up in the bathroom.
“You’re going out?” You asked from the doorway when you noticed Peter in his suit.
“Yeah. I shouldn’t be too long.” He promised. “I’ll be back before you’re asleep.”
“Will you be back before 12?” You asked as you tugged on your earlobe.
“Yeah, I will.” He told you as he placed his hands on your waist.
“Okay. I’ll see you then.” You smiled at Peter as you patted his cheek twice before kissing him. You did this every time Peter was about to leave on patrol. Before you were a couple, he’d text you before he would go out on patrol so you could flex your hand three times to ensure his safety. Now, it was two taps to the cheek and a kiss.
An hour into patrol, Peters phone rang and lit up with your contact. He answered it but before he could say hello, you started speaking.
“Peter are you okay?” You wheezed, sounding frantic.
“I’m fine, honey.” He quickly assured you. “Are you okay?”
“Yea.” You sounded more relaxed. “Are you sure you’re okay? Where are you?”
“I’m on a rooftop near the bakery.” He answered. “Did something happen?”
“No.” You sighed. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.” He confirmed. “I’ll be home soon.”
“Alright. I love you.” You said into the phone. “I love, love, love you.”
~
“Are you ready to watch the movie, honey?” Peter called from the living room. It was a few months now since you started living together and he had taken a night off from patrol to be with you.
“Almost. I’m just washing my hands.” You called back. A commercial playing in the background caught your attention and you shut the water off to listen.
“What did they say it treated?” You asked as you looked over your shoulder at the TV.
“BPH.” Pete answered, reading off the screen.
“Do I have that?” You wondered, making a Peter laugh. He looked back at you to see if you were kidding, but your face showed your we’re serious.
“BPH? No, lovey.” He shook his head. “That’s just for men. I think it’s when your prostate is enlarged. And in the words of Noah Puckerman, “chicks don’t have prostates”.”
“So I don’t have that?” You asked him again, as if you didn’t believe him.
“No. You don’t have that.” He answered, growing concerned.
“Okay.” You nodded and dried your hands. “Do you have that?”
“Um, I don’t think so.” Peter furrowed his eyebrows at the strange question.
“Okay.” You said again. “Just making sure.”
“Okay.” Peter eyed you curiously as the opening credits started to play. “Oo, it’s starting.”
“I love this movie.” You mumbled as you nuzzled into Peters side.
“Me too.” Peter smiled as he pulled you closer. “I’ve seen it like 3 times already.”
“I’ve seen it 13 times.” You said after a beat of silence, making Peters eyes widen.
“Really?” He asked. “You must really like it.”
“I like rewatching the same movies.” You said sheepishly.
“Why?”
“I like knowing the ending and whats gonna happen next.” You told him, looking at him to see if he thought it was weird. His face didn’t show any signs of disdain, so you relaxed.
You watched the movie in comfortable silence as time went on, never leaving each other’s sides.
“What time is it?” You asked as the movie neared it’s end.
“11:47 babe.” Peter answered when he checked his phone.
“I have to go to bed.” You said suddenly, getting up off the couch.
“The movies almost over, lovey.” Peter chuckled in confusion as you left his side. “Just 30 more minutes.”
“I know.” You chewed your lip nervously and twisted your fingers. “I just have to go to bed. I can’t really explain it.”
“Okay.” Peter nodded, still confused. “Good night.”
“Goodnight.” You bent down to kiss him before trotting off to bed. “Night, night, night.”
Peter was beginning to pick up on certain things. You needed it be in bed by 12, you often called him randomly to ask if he was okay, and you stayed away from odd numbers. He didn’t know what to chalk it up to, but he didn’t want to pry if you didn’t want to talk about it.
~
Peter caught you putting your caught on one morning as he was coming into the kitchen to get some breakfast.
“Where are you sneaking off to so early?” He asked through a yawn as he lazily kissed your lips.
“I forgot I have a doctors appointments today.” You pouted. “It’s in a few minutes.”
“Okay. Do you need me to drive you?” He offered.
“You don’t have to drive, but could you come with me?” You asked and he nodded.
“Of course. Let’s go.” Peter grabbed his keys and walked with you to the car.
~
You walked into the lobby where Peter had waited for you with a strange look on his face. Peter immediately stood up and met you halfway, feeling concerned when he saw your expression. He could sense something was off with you but he wasn’t sure what.
“Hey baby.” He rubbed your arms in comfort. “How was the appointment?”
“Um, fine.” You nodded hesitantly. “It was fine.”
“Just fine?” Peter asked. “Did the doctor say anything?”
“No.” You lied. “Nothing important.”
“Thats good.” Peter agreed, not fully convinced you were okay.
“Hey, when’s the last time you had a check up?” You wondered as you walked towards the car.
“Oh, I’m not sure.” Peter shrugged. “Less than a year ago.”
“You should probably get checked out. You know, to make sure you’re okay.” You told him as you buckled your seatbelt.
“Sure. I can schedule an appointment soon.” Peter nodded, still looking at you in confusion.
“Do you feel okay? Do you feel sick or anything?” You put your hand on his forehead while keeping your eyes on the road.
“No.” You said quickly. “I’m okay.”
You continued driving in silence as Peter wondered what was bothering you. You were nervously chewing your lip as you checked your rear view mirror every few seconds.
“Oh my God.” You gasped and looked behind you. “I have to turn around.”
“Why?” Peter turned around as well. “What’s wrong?”
“I might have hit someone.” You gulped and changed lanes so you could turn around. Peters jaw dropped a little, knowing full well that you hadn’t hit anyone.
“Lovey, you didn’t hit anyone.” He said slowly. “We would’ve felt it.”
“I know I didn’t.” You said in defeat. “I just need to check to make sure.”
“Okay.” Peter nodded, sensing something was wrong. “We can turn around.”
You turned around and passed by the street where you though you hit something. Nothing was there, so you kept driving. Peter kept hai eyes on you, notching the worried look on your face as you continued to check the mirror.
“Are you okay?” He asked you.
“I have to do it again.” You sighed. “I have to turn around.”
“You didn’t hit anyone. You’re a good driver, baby.” He said quietly as he put his hand on your knee.
“I know I didn’t hit anyone. I know that but I just…” You sighed in frustration and put your blinker on. “I just have to. I’m sorry. I have to turn around.”
“Okay.” Peter agreed, not taking his eyes off you. You drove past the spot again and kept going, but your expression didn’t change.
“Do you want to turn around again?” Peter asked gently, and hit tears fell down your cheeks.
“Yes.” You sputtered. “I have to do it again. I know I didn’t hit anyone but-“
“It’s okay.” Peter assured you. “We can turn around as many times as you want.”
You gave him an appreciative look before turning around again. You calmed down as you passed the spot and continued driving in silence.
“I’m sorry.” You said after a minute. “I know it’s weird. I know I’m weird. I can’t help it though.”
“You don’t have to apologize. And I don’t think it’s weird. I just don’t understand.” Peter spoke softly as he rubbed your knee. You looked at him quickly and chew your lip as you toyed with something in your mind.
“Peter, I have OCD.” You said weakly as you snuck glances at him. Peter’s eyebrows raised in surprise before settling back down into a look of confusion.
“Oh. You do?”
“That’s what the doctor just said.” You continued. “He said there are medications to treat it. I don’t know if I should take it. But I think I need some help.”
“I’m proud of you for telling me you need help.” Peter squeezed your knee. “I had no idea you had OCD. You don’t clean things all the time or like, straighten your pencils or anything.”
“That’s not - no.” You shook your head. “It’s not really like that. It can be for some people, but that’s not what mine is like. OCD is not always cleaning based. Mine is mostly instructive thoughts or repetitive behavior.”
“Oh.” Peter thought back on all your repetitive phrases and movements. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” You sighed and looked at him out of the corner of you eye to see his reaction.
“Is there anything I can do to help you?” He asked, much to your surprise.
“Could you just text me? I worry about you. Like, a lot.” You admitted. “I worry about if you’re okay or not all the time. Every time you go out on patrol, I put on this one movie. I feel like if I’m not watching the movie, you’re gonna die. I can’t explain it. I know you won’t die, but I can’t shake the feeling that you will. I just always worry about you.”
“I think I can help that.” Peter offered. “I can text you every half hour and make sure you know I’m safe.”
“Are you sure?” You asked as you pulled into your driveway. “That’s a lot to ask.”
“It’s okay.” Peter assured you. “Whatever I can do to make this easier, I’ll do it.”
You smiled fondly at Peter before leaning over the gear shift and kissing him, patting his cheek twice before pulling away.
“Thank you.” You whispered. “Thats exactly what I needed to hear.”
Tag List 🏷
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wqk-k · 4 years
Text
Obey Me Brother react to an idol!MC
 hi this is my first set of headcanons for the brothers  👉👈 i apologize if the brothers are ooc in this, though i tried my best jksajdufhj. i hope you enjoy!
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Warning(s): Cursing
Reader Pronouns: They/Them (4A)
Background: MC is a very popular idol in their world, best known for their impressive singing skills, music and the amount of rewards they have recieved because of their talents. Surprisingly, they aren’t only popular in their world, but in the Devildom and Celestial Realm as well.
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Lucifer
since lucifer didnt actually read who you were on the paper that had blown to his feet, he had no idea you were an idol at first
but after couple days at RAD, he noticed that random demons kept coming up to you in between classes and didnt leave until the next class started
most of them had come up to you with a pen and some paper asking for your autograph
he was just like ??? 
after a while of this happening luci decided to just ask you straight up why they were coming up to you like that and you had told him you were an idol back in the human realm
that explains it
he honestly doesnt mind
if people start hating on you in public, he’ll honestly just shoot them a death glare and it works
so damn well
he got too much pride to deal with those underlings
if you start working on music/mv projects that you left off on in the human realm (like shooting mv or singing) he will absolutely rent you a recording booth or fuck, even a whole ass theatre if you needed it
sometimes he likes to sit in the recording booth and listen to you sing for a bit before returning to his stacks of mammon’s bills 
v proud of you dont get him wrong
but he will make sure you’ve done all your homework first LMAO 🛌
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Mammon
when mammon first found out you were an idol he started digging through boxes that had been in his closet
after what seemed like hours he finally found the box he was looking for and he started to dig through it
he pulled out an old camera that levi gave him a couple hundred years ago bc he said he didnt need it
mammon had the best idea ever, he could sell pictures of you to your fans for at least 10,000 grimm each.
surprisingly it worked
like really well
so well that you found out
you confronted him about it, saying that you find hella uncomfy with him snapping pictures of you at random times. not only that but it was an invasion of your privacy
despite him earning so much grimm, he agrees to stop but keeps some of the pictures to himself to look at when he misses you 
if you get hate in public he’ll turn into his demon form and scare the person away, maybe scaring you in the procees but apologizes right away if he does
if you start working on music/mv projects he’ll offer to help you shoot mvs or record you singing if you need the help
just make sure he gets some credit for helping you
but he genuinely thinks you look amazing in anything, like anything
you could be wearing a big bird cosplay and he’ll think you look breathtaking
gets you to model w him sometimes
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Leviathan
wait you look really familiar
really really familiar
you almost look and sound like that one really popular human idol that hes simped for time and time again
wait
oh shit
v embarrassed when he finds out it is actually you and gets really nervous when hes talking to you
is the demon asking for your autograph
but you have no idea how much power you have over this man
you could tell him to come out of his room and he’d come out with ease, no protesting, no nothing
may ask you to record a ringtone for him for when he wakes up
even after months of you two knowing each other, he still gets flustered when you start talking to him with your stupid cute ass eyes and your perfect hair and your perfect voice and your perfect-
yeah you get the point AKJSDKLASFBG
if you get hate in public he will deadass growl at the person before escorting you to your favorite ice cream place
if you start working on music/mv projects he will be by your side 24/7
he wants to see the god/ess themselves at work
hes like your personal butler for the time youre working on the projects and its adorable
hes bby
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Satan
when he finds out youre an idol he will 100% voulenteer to help you write lyrics for your next song
but besides that, like luci, he really doesnt mind
he hears some other demons talking shit about you after art class and he’ll be angy as usual, but after stomping off and accidentally bumping into you he just
turned into puddy??
idk what it was but it was something abt they way your hair was a lil messed up and looking at him like that wish a small embarrassed look
just wow
every ounce of anger just evaporated while you apologized over and over again because the face he was making made him look like he was angry for some reason 
when he snaps back into reality he says its cool but then asks if youd like to go to the library w him because honestly youre his safe haven now
sometimes he asks you to hum a tune for him when hes reading
if the demons start hating again, you may need to hold him back KJASNDJFG 
if you start working on music/mv projects, again, will voulenteer for helping with lyrics
if you already have the lyrics down he’ll review them and give constructive critisisim if needed
or he’ll just write every lyric himself and you can judge it after hes done
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Asmodeus
is not surprised at all
hes actually heard some of your songs and damn id he doesnt have them on his “on repeat” playlist on devilfy
he thinks you have an outstanding voice, not only that but youre a gorgeous lookin thing
asmo likes to hit on you a lot because he likes to see that flustered look on your face but he would never over your boundaries
he wouldnt want to be over the internet bc he made one of the most praised artists in devildom (thats not even a demon) angry
asmo doesnt want to be cancelled yet JKSJKDGFUA
but seriously, he thinks youre amazing
like really amazing
there like no lust involved in his admiration for you he just geniunely thinks youre cool
but he does think you look amazing 24/7
will ask you to model things for him for devilgram
if you get hate in public, he’ll hold your hands and shower you with compliments and tells you to ignore them
if you start working on music/mv project he will insist on doing backup vocals or being a backup dancer
or like the head backup dancer or whatever theyre called
is like your personal stylist wherever you go as well
along with that he can also help you come up with a beat for your song if you need one, he is more than happy to help someone like you
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Beelzebub
he honestly thinks youre really cool
asmo showed him one of your songs before and thought it sounded really catchy
not only that, you sounded beautiful, almost like you were actually from the celestial realm, consider him a fan
so when you showed up for the new exchange program he was surprised but got really giddy
was one of the demons who asked for your autograph
you gave him a sweet smile after he asked and he just- melted
man down man down
will want to spend lost of time with you and take you to ristorante six on fridays as his treat
you usually end up paying though which he feels really guilty about but you tell him its fine
youre an idol who is loaded to the chest, youve got nothing to lose KLSKADJHF
if you get hate in public he’s also the type to death glare but people dont really hate on you in public when youre w him bc he has a naturally scary aura
lowkey thought you wouldnt like him at first :(
if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll start cooking you meal and making sure you get enough water
will absolutely cook your favorite meal- or any meal in fact- if you request it
if you dont request anything he’ll just wing it and make something he think you’ll like kjskdhsf
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Belphegor
couldnt care less  🧍
he thinks your voice is pretty nice tho
hears beel listening to your music once and agrees w him on you having a really nice voice
lowkey sing him to sleep
like its super cute
plus he thinks youre gorgeous?? like wow you rlly pretty
once tried rubbing your face bc he thought you were wearing makeup but when nothing came up on his thumb he muttered a small “wow” and hugged you
it was the cutest thing ever ohmy god KJSJDSIF
ever since that day hes obtained a habit of rubbing your face when he finds you stunning or at random moments
if you get hate in public he will literally murder the person?? but in like an alleyway or something
he’ll say something like “wait here” and walks toward a dark area to do his thang
when he comes back he’s covered in this red shit and you worry for him but he just glosses over it and takes you into a pillow shop LMAO
he is v protective over you
if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll occasionally help out but most of the time he’s sleeping so he doesnt really care 
sometimes he’ll give beat/lyric suggestions or help flim the mv but thats it  🧍  
++++
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Owen Strand Screen Time Meta Post
Welcome to the first in a series of posts analyzing the screen time of characters post season 2 of 911 Lone Star. I thought this idea would be more interesting, and efficient, than trying to put all of my thoughts for every character, and the entire season into one post. 
First up is Owen because he’s the highest billed character and because when I put out a poll, he was the only character no one wanted to see first. So let’s dive in! 
Read my analysis below the cut:
Season 1
I’ll be honest, when I started calculating the screen time I had no idea how much of an impact Owen’s time would have on the fandom. I really don’t recall there being that much discourse over it until I posted the results... and it didn’t really bother me before I saw the numbers? But after I did that first episode I was like oh..... yeah that’s a problem. 
At least that pilot episode was the most screen time he’s gotten, though I’m willing to bet that will change with season 3′s “Owen Begins.” I mean in a way, the pilot episode was his begins episode (or could even be considered “Begins Again” like what they did with Bobby on 911) since it was about him packing up and starting a new life as captain of the 126. Essentially, the pilot episode served to set up that this would be Owen’s show. 
The other episode where he took up a larger chunk of the screen time was 1x06 (”Friends Like These”) which makes sense because it was exploring his friendship with Billy... little did we know how important that would be later.
Most of his screen time in season 1 was concentrated around 8-10 minutes. Obviously that is the most screen time given to a character on the show, which makes sense since the show and the character was written for him and he hold the executive producer title. 
The least amount of screen time he got was around 7.5 minutes in 1x03 (”Texas Proud”) and 1x08 (”Monster Inside”). I do find that especially interesting since those are still episodes where he played an important role in the plot, compared to other characters whose least amount of screen time meant they were lucky if they spoke one line. It’s also worth noting in 1x03, Owen still had the most screen time (though Michelle was a close second) and in 1x08, Michelle did beat him by a few minutes.
Season 2
We really went into season 2 with higher hopes, though it wasn’t much better (I would argue there was some improvement... but I’ll talk about that more later). 
It says a lot that Owen’s top 3 episodes are 2x10, 2x11, and 2x12. Though he didn’t beat his previous record of over 20 minutes, he got nearly 15 minutes in 2x11 (”Slow Burn”)... which if you didn’t already know, is also the episode that was written by his son, John Owen Lowe, and directed by his brother, Chad Lowe. He also got around 12 minutes in the two episodes that buffer that one, 2x10 (“A Little Help From My Friends”) and 2x12 (”The Big Heat”). This three episode arc accounts for about 32% of his screen time this season.
Before that major arc in 2B, in the first half of season 2 his big episodes fell around 10 minutes each; 10:45 in 2x07 (”Displaced”), 10:00 in 2x03 (”Hold the Line”, the crossover), and 9:45 in 2x01 (”Back in the Saddle”)*
A big difference for this season compared to season 1 was that there were episodes where he did not get as much screen time. Whereas his least screen time was 7:30 last season, this season there were four episodes that were lower than that; 7:15 in 2x06 (“Everyone and Their Brother”), 6:00 in 2x13 (”One Day”), 5:30 in 2x02 (”2100°”), and of course, a mere 1:00 in 2x09 (“Saving Grace”). That is really the only episode where Owen has completely stepped aside, playing a very minor role in the overall plot. In 2x02, 2x06, and 2x13, Owen came in second behind Tommy (in x02 and x13) and Paul (in x06). And in 2x09, he came in fourth (the only time thus far he was not in the top 3) behind Judd, Grace, and Tommy.
(*I’ve mentioned the new method I’ve been using to calculate screen time on a few occasions now and I’ve only revisited 2x01 so far (almost done 2x02 tho) anyway, I’m using the data I collected using the old method for these posts but in an effort to be totally upfront about how the new method is going, Owen’s screen time for 2x01 is actually about 30 seconds higher than I originally calculated, coming it at 10:15 instead of 9:45. Not much of a difference, and idk how much the rest of the new method results will impact this meta post, but I wanted to be clear about it).
Total Screen Time
As the infographic above states, his total screen time for the two seasons comes in at nearly 3 hours and 45 minutes. Divided in half, thats around 112 minutes per season, which does fall in line with the totals for each season (103.25 minutes for season 1, 120.5 minutes for season 2). However, there was only 10 episodes in season 1, compared to the 14 we saw in season 2. With that in mind, you can begin to see how season 2 was actually a smidge better than season 1 when it came to how much screen time was given to Owen. But the real indicator is the averages, which is discussed next.
Average Screen Time
As you can see in the infographic, Owen’s average screen time in season 1 was around 10:15 and dropped to 8:30 in season 2. The series screen time (which is the total divided by 24, not those two totals divided by 2) comes in at about 9:15. 
Obviously, even 8.5 minutes is still a huge amount of screen time. But compared to over 10 minutes in season 1, his average screen time is seeing a clear downward trend. I would take this as a win. It’s a small change, but it’s an indication that we are heading towards a day where Owen doesn’t eat up the majority of the screen time each episode.
Outliers
The idea of outlier episodes wasn’t even something I considered until a few weeks ago. This would be an episode where the screen time total was either much higher, or much lower than what is normally seen for that character.
According to my calculations, in season 1 the pilot episode at 20:45 is an outlier for Owen. In season 2, 2x09 (”Saving Grace”) is also an outlier at 1:00. And looking at the data set for all the episodes in series, both numbers (20:45 and 1:00) are outliers. (Outliers change based on the data set, so we need to look at each data set (season 1, season 2, and series) individually and not assume that an outlier for one season would also be an outlier for the series). 
What happens when you remove the outliers?
That brings us to the above question. Is Owen’s 20+ minutes in the first episode the reason why his time is so high in season 1? Is his 1 minute in 2x09 bringing down his time in season 2? And what about the series?
I’m not sure if it’s worth examining how the totals are affected since that’s pretty self-explanatory. Obviously all the totals will go down if you take out the outlier episodes. But where it makes a difference as far as we’re concerned is the averages. 
Obviously the average number is how much you should expect to see that character during an episode. But if 20 minutes is much higher than normal, and 1 minute is much lower than normal, then what happens when you take out those numbers? Well, something actually fairly interesting happens, that almost contradicts what I said before about the progress...
When you remove the pilot episode from the data set for season 1, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove 2x09 from the data set for season 2, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove both episodes from the series data set the average comes to (you guessed it) 9:15. 
9:15 is more indicative of what to expect for Owen’s screen time in an average episode, and since it hasn’t changed that says a lot about the progress we’ve seen for screen time distribution.
Now as for what to do with this? Honestly, I have no idea. I mean the fact is that while these episodes are outliers, they did still happen. There is an episode where Owen only had about a minute of screen time; just like there’s an episode where he got over 20 minutes. Outliers are weird because I don’t want to not acknowledge them, and I think it’s important to look at when studying the screen time as a whole. But as for the reported numbers, we can stick with what is laid out in the infographic.
Closing Thoughts
It’s hard to say whether this season saw less Owen, or about the same. Of course when taking all episodes into account, it is less. But when you remove the outlier one minute episode, it’s really not that much better. But then again, the fact that we did get an episode where he was only on screen for a minute is a very good sign, so taking it out of the data set doesn’t exactly make sense.
I guess the biggest takeaway still is that Owen still has a lot. He always will. Even if he did have less this season, it’s still much more than the characters who come in second and third had. I like to think it will get better, and maybe it will, but personally I’ve accepted that Owen will always have the most, and he will have much more than other characters, but it shouldn’t be as much as it is. Hopefully his screen time will continue to trend down and allow for more time to explore the other characters on the show.
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satoruvt · 4 years
Text
for now; forever
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pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader
word count → 9015
genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry
synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.
warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown
a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!
btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33
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DAY ONE.
So. You’re… out here, now.
Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.
You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 
He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.
“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”
The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.
“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”
“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”
Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.
It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 
(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)
You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.
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The hike takes almost the whole day. 
You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.
The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.
For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.
When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.
“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”
Right. The voice. Radio?
“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”
You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”
There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”
A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”
“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”
You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”
“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”
You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”
Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”
“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”
“Yeah!”
You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.
“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”
“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”
This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.
DAY TWO.
The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.
A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.
“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 
“So… what are your plans for today?”
“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”
“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.
“Kinda my job for a while.”
And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”
His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.
“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”
“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”
You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”
Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”
Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”
He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 
When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”
“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”
You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.
“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”
He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”
Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”
“What kind of person is he?”
You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”
Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”
Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.
“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”
“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”
“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”
You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”
You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.
DAY FIVE.
The clouds look dark today.
They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.
Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…
Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.
“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.
“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”
The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.
“Well... got any rainy day stories?”
DAY SEVENTEEN.
“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 
“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”
Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.
“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.
“I dance!” 
Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”
“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.
“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.
A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.
“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.
“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.
“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”
It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”
You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 
“They really are,” you say.
DAY THIRTY-THREE.
You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 
Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.
(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)
One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.
Today is no different.
Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.
“Good morning!” 
You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 
“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”
“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.
“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”
What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”
“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”
A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”
Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.
“Oh my God, can we do that?” 
“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”
Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”
It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.
When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.
Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.
Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.
Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”
The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”
You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.
“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”
You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).
“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?
“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”
Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”
“What is?”
He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”
Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 
“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.
“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”
This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.
You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -
“Shua!”
A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.
“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.
Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?
You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.
“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”
Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”
Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.
The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”
“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.
Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.
“Hi,” you say.
Soonyoung grins.
“Hey.”
-
So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.
He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 
The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.
To see him.
Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.
“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.
It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”
His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”
You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”
Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”
You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.
“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.
“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”
Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 
You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”
In a second, it clicks.
-
It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.
“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.
“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 
“Just radio me, okay?”
Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”
You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”
The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.
DAY THIRTY-FOUR.
It feels like forever since you’ve been here.
A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.
(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)
Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 
You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 
You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.
You take a deep breath and start to write.
DAY SIXTY-FOUR.
“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”
Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.
You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”
“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”
“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.
“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”
It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.
“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.
“So. What should we name it?”
“The fire?”
“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”
There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”
Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”
You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”
“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.
“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”
There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”
Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”
You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.
After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.
It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.
His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.
And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”
It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.
“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”
“Without the radios,” you add. 
“We could, um… you know.”
His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.
“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”
Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”
You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”
There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.
“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”
DAY SEVENTY-SIX.
The fire’s gotten big.
You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.
“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”
Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”
Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”
You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”
“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”
“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”
“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”
“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”
He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.
“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.
“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”
You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”
The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.
“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.
“Only once,” you respond, truthful.
“When you start to write again… will you show me?”
And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.
(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)
“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”
You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.
DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.
For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.
“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.
“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”
You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”
Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.
“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”
Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.
“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”
“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”
You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 
The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.
“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 
“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”
Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.
“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”
That’s… oh. 
A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…
You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 
If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.
DAY EIGHTY.
Evacuation day.
Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.
You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.
“Hey.”
Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”
“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”
“Yessir…”
“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”
You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.
“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”
That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”
“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”
You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”
“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”
The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”
The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.
EPILOGUE.
It’s hard to come back.
From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.
And you start writing.
Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.
Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 
(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)
Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.
You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -
“Excuse me?”
You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”
He looks up.
It’s Soonyoung.
He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.
“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.
“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”
158 notes · View notes
letters-from-eros · 4 years
Note
I know you don't have rules for that already but can I ask for relationship hc's for Chuuya and Dazai with a fem or gender neutral s/o?😳❤
A/N: Am I foaming from the mouth for my first BSD request? Maybe. I hope this is good though. I added in a short part on how they asked you out cause I wanted this to be different and unique from most dating HCs.
Pairing(s): Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x GN!Reader
Warnings: Slight mention of suicide in Dazai's, cursing
Form: Headcanon
Also: These ran super duper long I'm so sorry
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You managed to cuff the suicidal maniac, huh?
Well done, my friend, well done
It took him so long to ask you out, and even when he did it wasn't planned. In all honesty, he never planned to tell you about his feelings. The excruciating part for him is that he did fall pretty fast, and realized he was falling even faster.
He didn't deny them, that wouldn't make it go away. He knew that. He sat and let it festered, hoping it would just disappear at some point.
Had the mindset of anything he loved he'd lose, y'know? Sad but so.
The way I'd imagine it happening is that you both are either working late at the ADA (with just the two of you there) or just at his place hanging out into all hours of the night.
Both of you are laughing at some dumb joke Dazai made and as the laughter dies out he feels.. Bittersweet. You make him feel genuinely happy, like there's no need to put on any mask or facade. That was not a feeling he had with anyone else.
Once silence fully overtakes you both it slips out of his mouth, purely on accident.
"I love you"
"More than suicide?"
"Y/n I'm serious!"
From that night forward you had the pleasure of being the partner of Dazai Osamu, with his feelings being released in an extremely cliche coming-of-age-movie way.
Okay, onto actually dating Dazai
Still goofy as all hell. Honestly the only thing that has really changed is the he lets you in a lot less hesitantly on small things. Its easier to put cracks in his walls, per se
Unbothered by PDA and will probably make out with you in public and not see why that isn't a thing that should be done or why you wouldn't like it.
(Just tell him if you don't, he'll get over it eventually)
Will kiss you everywhere, doesn't exactly have a favorite place, but where he does end up kissing you the most is your forehead for convenience. He'll kiss your wrist if he's holding your hand, too.
Clingy as all hell, always wants to be touching you in some way and becomes the biggest dramatic bitch when he can't be around you.
Kunikida will actually punt him if he says he'll die if he's away from you for another second. For the tenth time
No more suicide attempts once you two are dating, and doesn't ask for a double suicide with you because he knows it'll upset you quite a bit
He flirts with you like he's trying to get you to date him lmao he will never ease up, especially if it gets you bashful.
Dazai would NOT be dating you if he did not trust you a whole lot, so thats something that is pretty vital to the relationship.
That being said, please be understanding of the pieces of Dazai he keeps locked away to never see the light of day again and trust him just as much as he trust you. Its important especially if you don't want the relationship to be one-sided
Also with the high amount of trust he places in you, he doesn't get jealous easily. I mean he may get pissy that you're not giving him any attention but jealous is never the right word to use
Mf finally washes his fucking clothes once he starts dating you. Doesn't smell like the bottom of the ocean on a regular basis anymore.
Dates are always chill and rarely super extravagant. Park dates are often but Dazai's truly preferred date is snuggling inside, watching a few movies and slipping in and out of naps.
Belladonna is his go-to petname for you, of course, but he may bounce around with other petnames for kicks.
He will start calling you weird shit if you ignore him for to long.
Never raises his voice at you unless its in some joking manner. On the rare occurrence that you two have an argument he would need to get extremely riled up before he resorts to raising his voice. He tries to have patience and usually succeeds.
Dazai gets SO soft and SO loving sometimes, and it can be out of no where or something minuscule could have sparked it. All I know is that its nice and cute 🥰
He's usually pretty vulnerable himself when he gets like that so match his energy, alright? If you don't he might end up a little sour for some short amount of time and be more hesitant to get like that
10/10 Lover. This is by no means an effortless relationship, its a constant battle of figuring out boundaries, running into walls and respecting them. Dating Dazai isn't toxic if you treat him right and when you do? It definitely pays off.
(This got so long. I've had so much pent-up Dazai love and all around BSD love and I finally had an outlet to completely let it out)
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HUSBAND. THE LOML
Okay, sorry. But this man is the love of my life, and he will be yours as well.
Took him a while to really figure out his feelings for you, or to better put it, it took him a while to label the feeling he had towards you "love"
But ONCE HE DID mans was practically whipped before you officially started dating omg.
You could notice the shift in attitude when he figured out his feelings. He got nervous, went stiff and blushy all against his will. Maybe a tad bit more snappy.
He'd try to keep his cool and then just eat shit and become a babbling angry mess.
After every encounter and interaction with you he'd end up overthinking all of it and when he catches himself doing that he gets so upset with himself. It's really when he realized that he won't be able to keep his feelings a secret forever.
Definitely started avoiding you when planning on the 🌈perfect🌈 way to ask you out and blamed work if you asked him why he was avoiding you.
Anyway, the way he asks you out was almost as calculated as a proposal.
He asks you to meet him at the port and dress comfortably towards the end of the day
When you get there, Chuuya has a nice place set up for you both. A blanket and a bottle of expensive wine because we all know he's lowkey an alcoholic along with a very nice view of the ocean/port.
Chuuya made sure it didn't radiate too much romantic energy to give his plans away; also, he wasn't that nervous. Once he gets truly determined to do something, he doesn't let something like anxiety get in the way of it. The idea of being rejected was essentially an afterthough
Made an effort to make sure he didn't drink too much and neither did you. He didn't want to take advantage of the possibility of you being drunk by the time he asks you out and he knows he himself has a low tolerance
Once the sun began to set is when he asks. Stutters a little bit towards the beginning but smooths it out.
"Y/n, I uh.. I brought you to tell you that I love you."
"Have you drank too much already, Chuuya?"
"No! I'm completely sober!"
It was overall super cute and unforgettable, just as he planned.
Honestly, being in a relationship with this boy is just 🥰
Spoils you so much. You'll deadass be dripped out head to toe purely in stuff Chuuya has bought you.
Dw, he has an alright sense of fashion
Don't try to discourage him, that'll only get him to buy more stuff.
Chuuya's short and the concept of a size difference doesn't bother him at all, he'll find a way to kiss you regardless lol
On the topic of kissing, his favorite places are your lips and hands
He takes of his gloves whenever he's with you and let me tell you his hands are the softest things ever. Albeit his knuckles are a little calloused sometimes.
If you're anything like me, you'd want his soft hands on you 24/7 and y'know what? Chu would happily oblige.
He isn't like the biggest fan of PDA but certainly isn't against it. He'd rather keep things behind doors as much as he can. Holding hands and small kisses on the cheek are very fine by him.
He isn't like the biggest jealous type? He doesn't become overly irate or anything but certainly doesn't take any pleasure in watching you talk to other guys.
Chuuya does have some form of self restraint when it comes to that. Him getting a lil jealous is one of the only things that'll have him completely make-out with you in public or smth
Chuuya is very snuggly and touchy behind closed doors. He practically becomes Dazai but a lot less goofy
Oh yeah he definitely rants about how much he fucking hates Dazai now n again
Isn't huge on petnames but definitely calls you them every now and again.
Princess, babe and baby are his top few.
Chuuya definitely has a morning voice where it drops 2 octaves and its just 🥰
Never yells at you, its pretty shocking. The only times he's ever raised his voice with you is when its very obvious that he's not genuinely upset with you. Almost for comedic affect because it is angry short boy Chuuya
One may think arguments are often with Chuuya, but they're sort of not. He may be a pretty stubborn individual but he never argues to argue unless its Dazai-
He always works towards and agreement to end the argument as soon as possible. He keeps his cool and will never raise his voice. You can barely call them arguments because of how much he tries to keep his cool.
When he's stressed or had a bad day he gets extremely quiet because he doesn't even want the opportunity to open his mouth and take it out on you. The only words he'll say to you while he's in that state is that he's stress and you didn't do anything wrong just to make sure you're not worried over it.
All and all? Chuuya is the best and there's no way around it. He has his faults but always tries to improve and be his best self for you :)
(I had even more pent-up love for Chuuya and it got even longer, whoops-)
322 notes · View notes
sadachmesarthim · 3 years
Note
C-cowboy starker? What if cowboy starker, I mean? I think... cattle driver Tony maybe, and ranch hand Peter,,, always wanted to write about this but I’m shy 🙈
mid-writing edit: i’ve spent half an hour on this and my computer is literally lagging with how fast i’m typing. i really hope this makes sense because holy shit, i love cowboy starker. anon, i need you in my inbox every single fucking time you have an idea about starker. idk if it’s in passing, idk if it’s super fleeting and doesn’t make sense. anon, you are my muse
ohhhhh my god anon i ,, love this idea so much i’ve actually thought about this a bit ngl you don’t even know how much i like western aus
okay so hear me out:
i’m thinking brokeback type shit, right?? but just a tad different like be honest who doesn’t like the whole bbm trope yfm and twink jake gyllenhaal is my baby okay okay okay sorry babe i’m still crossfaded as fuck and i could talk about that movie for days anyway back on topic
- no okay but think of it - tony, he’s recently divorced and morgan, his baby girl, his one and only daughter, she’s 19 now and seeing this absolute gentleman of a roughneck. his house is empty, he isn’t paying child support anymore, he doesn’t have this bitchy redhead on his ass 24/7 about getting a job in the city
- because tony hates the city, hates that his father dragged them away from the mountains and prairies he remembers from his childhood. hates what the city gave him - black eyes and mean names and disappointed parents
- so tony high tailed it the fuck out of dodge the second he turned 18. abandoned school, abandoned his family, took his beat up ford out to montana and disappeared. married this nice girl, virginia pepper, worked construction to support her while she went to school. had a pretty baby girl a year or two later. moved both of his girls out to a ranch he bought with their tiny savings, got a couple’a cows and a horse and made friends with a neighbor with a bull
- but eventually, pep had bigger dreams. they were both young when they got married, didn’t look past the immediate sexual compatibility to see that their futures were well and truly not going to go well together
- so she left the ranch, took morgan with, and made her way to the city. became some big lawyer or doctor or businesswoman or something, tony didn’t know. didn’t really care because the child support invoices still came every single month like clockwork. 
- so instead of focusing on his distant daughter and his ex wife that wouldn’t listen to him and his family that just... didn’t understand, he threw himself into the wildlife around him
- became closer with those neighbors that had a bull. eventually came to an agreement and let him free with his girls
- built a very solid herd of highlanders in a handful of years, slowly attracting the attention of more and more owners wanting to trade, to buy, to sell 
- and maybe one year, he realizes, he’s in a bit too far over his head with this. he has 100 of these four legged fuckers, he has 50 acres to take care of by himself, he has horses to feed and shoe and groom. he has fields to plant and water and harvest if he wants to feed any of the animals mentioned above
- so he reaches out to his neighbors, puts feelers out and sees if anyone knows a farmhand who’d want to help him out, maybe live on the property full time for a bit. and when he gets a call back his heart breaks a bit, because oh my god he wasn’t prepared for this
- a kid, can’t have been more than morgan’s age, has responded to him, and he’s good with his hands mr. stark, and he knows his way around animals mr. stark, been takin’ care of ‘em for his whole life now mr. stark 
- and this kid is ,, he sounds so innocent and sweet there’s no way tony’s gonna say yes before he actually meets him 
- so tony gives the kid his address, tells him to come out and give things a once over before he makes his mind up
- so peter does. he comes out, introduces himself, looks around the property with tony. and tonys heart hurts, because this kid, this kid that’s standing right in front of him, is almost skin and bones and looks like he’s about to crumble into dust and blow away in his hands
- he brings peter into the house, brings him coffee, offers him food. even after peter politely declines he brings over some bread to share, maybe a slice of pie?? maybe tony can cook and bake. he has a sweet tooth after all, and he’s been on his own for the better part of two decades. 
- and he really gets to know peter. they sit, they talk, until the sun dips down and the open mountain chill takes over them
- and peter tells him that he’s been on his own for a couple of years, that his parents died when he was young and that his aunt and uncle took him in on their ranch. that he grew up around animals, working, helping out
- but when they died the property was repossessed by the bank and peter’d all but ran with ben’s keys and the clothes on his back. he’s been on the road ever since, going from missouri to texas to wyoming to montana, all in search of work, never staying in one place longer than a few months. 
- he doesn’t tell tony that he’s secretly so, so tired of life on the road. doesn’t say how elated he was when he heard someone was looking for a fairly long-term live in farm hand. because that’s something he knew, something he was good at. 
- he also doesn’t tell tony that his heart skipped several beats in a row the second peter laid eyes on him, and that he really wants to work for the gorgeous man in front of him
- it’s finally dark, his coffee cup is long empty and abandoned and peter’s just spilled nearly every single deep dark secret he’s ever had. tony’s closing the windows, and peter makes for the door. he’s taken up enough of this beautiful kind man’s time, he should leave before he stays even further past his welcome
- but tony’s stopping him, blocking him from the door, lightly grabbing his wrist and turning peter to face him fully
- and he’s asking begging pleading  telling peter he should stay, that the spare room upstairs is warm and not going to be used anytime soon. that he still needs a farmhand and, as he sees it, peter’s already here
- secretly, tony can’t stand to see him leave
- he couldn’t handle letting his man this... kid, really, leave. not when tony could provide for him. not when he could feed him until his edges soften and his cheeks round out and his tummy gets squishy. not when he could work him into a sweat outside, watch that paperwhite skin turn a rich tan under the summer sun
- not even when he realizes the sudden care for the orphan in front of him is slowly becoming less familial, less platonic, and more... instinctual. base. greedy. 
- because who better to make sure this kid is looked after than tony? tony, who has work-worn hands and time-softened eyes and cooking skills any bachelor would die for
- it’s honestly not even that shocking to him when peter says yes
- not when he takes his hand off the doorknob and immediately turns, immediately breathes out a “yes, yes of course mr. stark, thank you so much mr. stark, i’ll do whatever you need me to, you’re incredible mr. stark”
- and it all immediately goes to tony’s dick head because fuck, that was not the intended reaction but it was absolutely welcome, what the fuck
- so tony takes him upstairs, gets peter settled in the guest bedroom right across from his own
- and when he goes to bed that night he absolutely does not touch himself while thinking about the barely 20something thats maybe 10 feet away. doesn’t think about what peter said earlier, with tony’s hand wrapped around his wrist
- absolutely doesn’t cum with peter’s name on his lips, biting down on his knuckles so peter doesn’t hear
- and peter absolutely doesn’t cum with three fingers in his ass, tears streaming down his face, listening to the creaking mattress springs and heavy breathing from across the hall. of course he doesn’t
- and of course they don’t get along well. of course not. of course they don’t work together like they’re telepathically connected, not even needing to speak to know what the other is thinking. it’s like peter can read his mind, knowing exactly what needs done when
- but it’s not just tony. peter can tell before anyone else when the farrier needs to be called. when one of the girls is pregnant, even before she starts showing. knows when one of the cattle dogs has a hurt paw without even seeing him. can tell when it’s going to rain, so he knows whether or not it’ll be a good day to cut the alfalfa fields
- it’s a little freaky to be honest but tony doesn’t hate it. it’s really useful with everything on the farm, and it’s... it’s nice. having someone that can so effortlessly understand him. 
- it’s also like peters... totally unaware of it. like he doesn’t even know he knows things he shouldnt know. which blows tony’s mind even more. 
- it kinda turns him on, and he finds himself with his hand around his cock wondering if peter knows he’s getting off thinking about him. like, more than once. maybe even more than once a week. definitely more than once a week. 
- and maybe peters kind of catching on, a little. that maybe his feelings toward his employer/landlord/new friend are shared
- it also doesn’t help that he gets uncontrollably aroused every time tony goes to bed. like. every... single... time...
- peter always knew he was.. attentive. but he didn’t know it would manifest as literally feeling tony’s arousal through the fucking walls
- and it doesn’t help that peter’s filling out. he’s getting darker as the months get warmer, he’s getting significantly more meat on his bones now that he’s eating more and working more
- and it really doesn’t help that tony is getting eyefuls of the half naked ranch hand almost 24/7. it’s really not his fault that peter works better without a shirt on
- and maybe it comes to a head one day. maybe they’re picking up alfalfa bales from one of the fields and they stop to take a break and tony just ,, can’t handle sweaty, tan, barely-a-twink-anymore peter.
- and peter can feel it, with his ,, unique senses, that tony’s watching him. like, a lot. like, way more than normal even 
- so he decides to play it up a bit. he takes his shirt off, he throws his gloves in the bed of the truck and balls the tee in his hands, wiping his face off with it and sighing deeply
- and he knows tony saw that because he could fucking hear tony’s breathing change and he smirks a little bit, because that’s enough confirmation for him to know for sure
- so he looks up, and he meets tony’s eyes, and they’re wild and feral and tony looks like one of the wolves that tried to take out one of their cows last winter - hungry and ready to devour what was in front of him
- and peter just looks at him, a little incredulous, and finally speaks up: ‘you gonna get over here ‘n kiss me, or what?’ - and tony fucking breaks
- he turns the truck off and slams the door when he gets out, grabbing peter by the neck and fucking dragging him against tony’s clothed body
- “do you know what you’ve been doing this whole time?” 
- of course peter does, tony, you fucking moron. he knows and he’s been trying to get you to rip him to shreds, dumbass. you’re just oblivious
- but tony still can’t help but see the tiny young man that walked up on his doorstep those years ago, can’t help but want to protect him and keep him safe and warm and fed 
- so of course tony wanted to go slow, and wanted to be gentle with peter
- but pete was having fucking none of that, because oh my god tony i’m not 19 anymore please just fuck me already and been wanting you for way too long and please tony just--  and he grabs tony’s hand and makes him squeeze even harder
- and it’s hot, and it’s messy, and it’s not even really sex, just them rutting and grabbing and jerking each other off up against the door of tony’s truck, belt buckles undone and jeans just barely tugged down
- and tony’s basking in it, watching peter’s eyes screw shut and his pretty plush lips open and the little ‘aah, nngh fuck, tony’s that push their way from his throat
- and he knows, the second they’re done here, they’re abandoning their work for the day and he’s taking peter back to the house and he’s going to show him what this is like for real, what it means to be touched with intention and love and emotion behind it - not just a quick handjob standing in the hay field
- and he does. he worships peter’s body when they get back to the house
- he kisses every single part of him, nips at the tiny bit of excess fat on his stomach and thighs and hips, relishing in the fact that peter is his, his to take care of, his to keep safe and healthy and happy
- and eventually, the guest room opens up again. peter’s stuff slowly moves into tony’s room. he stops getting paid, but that’s okay
- because why would you get paid to work on your own farm? 
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princeanxious · 4 years
Text
The Royal Librarian- Chapter 1
Chapter 1- “The Road to Perfection is Destructive.”
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Ships: Future analogical, future sidelines royality, sidelines established dukeceit, background remile
Word Count: a little over 3k
Warnings For This Chapter: Virgil’s got anxiety and is a bit self depricating, brief mentions of panic attacks, Virgil stays up and works himself for so much longer and harder than is healthy for a normal person in one session, boi highkey overthinks a ton when he’s not occupied. Don’t work yourself for 24 hours straight like Virge does, it’s not good for you.
Minor notes on Virgil’s mental state in this fic: Virgil has ADHD(as reflected by my own life experience) that shows up in different ways here and there, and he suffers from RSD(Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) which drives Virgil’s need to be perfect or fail till he damn near collapses from exhaustion, which also just feeds into his chronic anxiety. Thats all for now!
Chapter one(you are here!)|Chapter two(coming soon!)
Bonus stuff:
-the Rough Library Layout
[[MORE]]
Quiet. Such a word was practically synonymous with Virgil’s existence. The young adult practically grew up in silence, sought quiet spaces out like a moth drawn to a flame. And like a deer spooked by a snapping branch, he often fled from loud groups larger than three. He had been a quiet child, content to lose himself in any book he could get his hands on, reading for hours in any quiet atmosphere he could find. Alone, and content because of it.
So it was really no surprise he picked up a local library apprenticeship when he’d turned fifteen, and was a well-versed and well-read librarian by age nineteen. He had his lifelong friend Patton to thank for making him apply alongside hundreds of others to the opening position of the Royal Astra Family’s castle Librarian position, a year later. And, to be fair? He’d only applied because he’d been sure his resume would never have been seen, let alone selected, if only to simply placate his best friend’s excited begging.
He didn’t account for Patton’s connections as the Royal Head Cook to shift that margine of possibility to reach at least being seen. Though Patton chalked it up to the fact that he’d always talked about Virgil around the royal family anyway, long before the position had needed a replacement. It seemed to be just Virgil’s luck that ‘Virgil’ just happened to be a very uncommon name.
The panic attack that followed after he received a letter that his resume had been selected alongside a select few others for further evaluation had been a rough one. Still, he held out hope that his perceived inexperienced youth would save him, the stress and responsibility of such a serious job couldn’t be trusted with some ambitious kid like him, could it?
And, besides, it’s not like Patton’s constant praises carried that much weight, right? That's just how Patton was, a personified ball of sunshine! It was why Virgil was never surprised to hear Patton mention the royal family and staff by name on accident, or mention a silly story involving them in private, he’d clearly become close to them as the Head Cook. Though, the more he thought about it, he realized that.. Well, it’s not like the royal family had known Patton as long as Virgil had. Patton could be too trusting, and tried to see good in everyone, and well, perhaps the royal family trusted his judge of character over just simple skills. And wasn’t it just peachy that Virgil was lifelong best friends with said ball of personified sunshine? (Not that he’d ever trade their friendship for the world, never. It was just Virgil’s problem that he could never seem to tell Patton no, huh?)
Eventually, a nerve wracking week passed before Virgil finally had his answer in the form of an acceptance letter hand-delivered and an accompanying uniform and granted permissions to traverse and move into the castle grounds, all ordered and signed by King Thomas himself.
Apparently, his suspicions over Patton’s influence had indeed won out.
Three days later, Virgil finds himself silently saying goodbye to the home he’d made on his own, not as terribly forlorn over the loss as he thought he’d be. The small cottage he���d been renting didn’t feel much like home to him, anyway, not like a library did. Still, there was a longing to hide from the large change crashing into his life, and thrice he’d hid under his covers and cursed his weak will against Patton’s puppy eye’d pout. Eventually though, he’d talked himself out of his panicked haze, just in time for his first shift the following day.
“I can’t believe I let Pat talk me into this.” The ravenette grumbled as he leaned to the side. Using his weight and momentum to shift the sliding ladder he was perched on, he slid closer to the next book he’d been reaching for.
“Become the castle’s new Librarian! It’ll be fun, he said! It’ll help sooth my anxiety to work with even more books and even less people, he said, the head cook who works with at least 20 other staff each hour to maintain a steady meal plan for the entire castle staff daily!” The little librarian huffed to himself, resignation seeping out with each controlled breath.
His first day hadn’t been an easy one, and though he hadn’t expected it to go smoothly, he certainly hadn’t expected it to become such a mess. It wasn’t his first time working as a librarian, but leave it to good ol’ Virgil to let life make his days as eventful as possible!
From the moment he woke to the time he had his lunch break, not that he would actually willingly take a break nor need one yet, the day had been.. busy, to put it lightly.
It’d been storming when he woke, and though he was on time to get ready and leave, he’d only realized that his umbrella had broken the month prior. It had left him to make a twenty minute dash in the pouring rain when he found no other options.
He was plenty grateful for a bathroom stationed just inside of the library building entrance, where he hurriedly rushed inside to change out of his soaked attire. He’d been smart enough to pack away his official Royal Librarian uniform into a water resistant bag with a few additional dry essentials, and let his common clothes get soaked instead.
In a short six and a half minutes, Virgil was changed and mostly dry, though there was little he could do about his damp hair aside from comb his fingers through it. With his wet clothes packed away, he made it into the library on time to begin his first very long shift.
He’d already been sworn into secrecy when it came to occasionally dealing with the royal family’s history and artifacts in the future, and with his first and hopefully one of very few ever meetings with King Thomas out of the way, he was officially the new Royal Librarian. And now, also the only. As he was told in no certain terms that the last had retired and fucked off into obscurity before anyone had realized that the library had been left in disorganized chaos.
The old coot had apparently made his own system for everything, and hadn't bothered to write any of it down. From sorting sections to assigning books to genres, none if it clear and often very, very unorganized.
Virgil’s first big task was to comb through the entire damn building and use a new system, one that made sense. He was to reorganize every book and every section, using the appropriate genres and sorting. This way the royal family could actually functionally use the library and not waste time sorting through chaos.
This was where Virgil found himself three hours later, on the verge of a minor mental breakdown as he’d just barely sorted an eighth of the books on the main library floor into the Dewey Decimal system.
He’d had plenty of empty tables at the beginning of his journey, and right now every single one had some few stacks of books on each, labeled accordingly. Aside from his muffled ranting and the pattering of rain, the library was relatively silent.
It was odd, being alone in such a gigantic library. It almost reminded him of home.
He paused for a brief moment, having set down the final few books taken from the bookshelf he’d been working on. He’d gone through just one row of 6 bookshelves, and had 7 rows left to go, and that was just barely counting putting books back in the previous shelves as he went. A whine left him as he realized just how long this project was going to take.
“Fucking fuck.”
Somewhere between the second row and the third, Patton had stopped by to check in on Virgil. He found him hard at work sorting the fiction section on the left side of the building, tables half forgotten as Virgil attached unobtrusive non-damaging number labels to each and every book. Stacks of books lay carefully placed on the floor against each shelf, seperated by label and lack of label.
“You already look so at home, Virge!” The head cook whisper-shouted, though the sentiment was not necessary as the only other being in the library was the librarian himself.
“Yeah yeah, hush you. I’m a bit too swamped for ‘I told you so’s at the moment. So, what's up?” Glancing up at the taller man, Virgil briefly noted a small package wrapped in cloth was held in his hands.
“Can you spare a minute to eat?” Patton giggled, but Virgil knew better. He’d known Patton since they were kids, it wasn’t a question. Or a decision to be made. With a sigh, he placed the book he was holding in its place before turning to the cheery cook. “Yeah, I can.”
“How’s the kitchen today?” He asked lightly, having eaten the light meal quickly in order to get back to sorting. Patton hadn’t commented, nor had he been shooed away when Virgil began sorting again. He contently sat out of the way to finish his own lunch, his original goal having been accomplished.
“Oh! It’s going great today, honestly. Not too many mishaps from the newbies today either, so that's a bonus! And well, you know, making mistakes is in human nature but, they’re learning so quickly, I’m so proud of them! They’ll be taking my place by fall, just you wait and see! And, well, Roman stopped by earlier to swipe some snacks for Prince Logan, his brother, and himself. You know, the usual.” Patton chuckled, and if Virgil had looked, he’d seen the besotted look Patton always had when he talked about the head knight of the prince, he’d seen it a hundred times and was bound to see it a hundred or so more.
“Oh, speaking of,” Virgil butted in playfully, “I’ll finally get a chance to meet this knight and shining armor you’ve been swooning over for over a year now, huh?”
He watched Patton’s freckled face flush bright red, sputtering and then coughing on his mouthful of food. Virgil just cackled delightedly, stepping over to give Patton a few hard pats on the back to be sure his friend didn’t choke.
He laughed again when Patton gave him a pout and a soft “You’re so mean to me, Virge!” Eventually Virgil was able to placate Patton with a gentle hug, and the cook was sunshine and smiles again.
A finished lunch break later had Virgil finally sending Patton off, back to the warm bustling kitchens in the main castle building while he moved on to the next portion of his task.
He quickly found the steady back and forth rythme soothing. Pick a few books up, put them away. Pull a few books out, sort it by number as per their section of genre, set it in the right place. It was a blessing to find that there was just enough of a consistency to the previous plan that he could find up to five to six books in the same category in a row, and each set of books could be similar in subject, usually ending up just one section away. Often was the wayward book that found itself out of place, though he had assumed that these were often books just placed back haphazardly considering their subject patterns.
Often the most scattered and random books had ended up being of a few select categories. Without fail, he found that it would end up being a book on Space and Astronomy and/or Mathematics, in-depth Anatomy of Plants and Animals, young adult Fantasy Adventure novels, or Horror novels. It was.. Sort of odd, how there had been no section for each and all of these books, and yet there were so many evenly scattered. Perhaps that had been on purpose then, not haphazardly placed. But why?
Too busy to think deeply about it, he designated spots fitting each book type, and decided he’d figure out what he’d do with the puzzle later.
It was 6 pm by the time he’d finished the fourth row, and Patton had stopped by briefly to check on his best friend. He watched Patton’s merry expression drop some, concern seeping in as he took in his best friend’s progress.
“It’s almost 6:30, Virgil. Have you had another break yet?” He asked, watching his best friend continue moving back and forth. “Aren’t you tired? It’s been a little under 12 hours at this point, kiddo.. dontcha think it’s time to call it for the day? I mean, you’re already halfway there!”
“Library hours, at least Librarian work hours, don’t end till 9. And yeah, I guess I’m a little tired? But I’m in the zone, Pat. You know how I get when I’m in The Zone. If I stop now, who knows how long it’ll take me to finish sorting the other half?” Virgil rambled, half distracted and still trying to keep a vice grip on his concentration. “And besides, King Thomas said he’d be checking in on me tomorrow.”
“But Virge, you know he doesn’t expect you to have it done in one day. Thomas isn’t like that! That’s why he gave you a whole week to settle in, so you could move into the Library’s living quarters-which you haven’t done yet, might I add!- and get the library situated.” Patton stood stiffly, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Virgil was as stubborn as he himself was when his mind was made up.
“Look, Pat.. just, I’m sorry. You know I hate to worry you. I’ll try to stop at 10, go home and get some rest, and tomorrow i’ll move my stuff into my new home here. And, i’ll take a break from sorting for a few hours. Okay?” Virgil reached out, taking Patton’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He let Patton pull him into a tight hug, and didn’t resist when Patton briefly rubbed at his tense shoulders.
“Okay. Just, take care of yourself, Virge, okay? If I find out you stayed out an hour later than 11 pm, you’re gonna be in big trouble mister!” Patton giggled, lightening the mood the way he knew how.
“Yeah, yeah, hear ya loud and clear, Dad.” He watched Patton beam at the nickname, and moments later he watched Patton disappear behind the library’s main entrance door as his friend left him be, reassured. Virgil gave a heavy sigh, looking down guiltily at the stray book clutched in his hands.
“Let’s just hope ‘trouble’ just means a week of disappointed reprimands like last time…”
Hours later, Virgil’s head jerked up from his sorting as a father clock somewhere in the library dinged, signalling 10 o'clock. Biting his lip, he walked to the front doors and examined his options. He found he could lock the library from the inside, and pulled down the shutters. Briskly, he moved to cover each large window with their thick drapery, finding the adorning cloth thick enough to keep the low artificial light from seeping out. He dimmed the inner library lights so the library looked closed, but otherwise the building was still functioning from within.
Unless someone else had keys to the doors of the library, no one would know that the librarian was still stationed and working within. No one could see out, and more importantly, no one could see in. Which meant that Virgil was safe from Patton’s wrath if the Cook came to check on him, temporarily at least.
“Fuck, Patton’s gonna be so mad..” He muttered to himself, leaning against the librarian’s desk with a deep sigh. He’d briefly admired the beautiful desk earlier in the day, from the intricate carving to the beautiful dark mahogany. It would serve him well in the future, he hoped, after the thorough ‘grounding’ he knew he was going to get from Patton.
He shook his head to free his thoughts. There was no sense in getting in trouble and feeling guilty about it if he didn’t do anything to learn from in the first place. It was time to get back to work, and if he was lucky, he’d finish the main body of the library by the time his next shift started. Then, he could try and play it off, like nothing had ever happened, he’d just keep Patton out of the library till tomorrow to hide his finished work.
11 pm came and passed as he worked, and when he looked next at the clock, he found it was nearly 4 am. Tired but determined with only one row left, Virgil trekked on with a new vigor. All-nighters weren’t anything new to Virgil, not in the slightest. He was a creature of the night who rarely got a full night's rest to begin with. And sure, it was rare he worked his body so hard and for so long, but fixations were hard to break once in The Zone, it’s not like he could feel it past the hyperfixation haze.
Patton had often told him off for it when they were young, but as time passed they’d come to realize that’s just how Virgil was. Laying down did nothing to lure his mind to sleep on even the tiredest of nights if his insomnia had something to say about it. Better that he used the extra time to be productive, rather than spend 6 hours tossing and turning in bed, numbers and thoughts crowding in his head, and only getting up more restless than before. Patton often just tried to ease the aftermath if he could help it.
Sliding the last book into place was like sliding a final puzzle piece into a massive puzzle. The triumph of accomplishment had never felt so good, not like this.
Though, he quickly found himself aimless not 10 minutes later, seeking errors to fix and lost books to give a home. His brain wasn’t ready to let go of it’s fixation just yet, but as each second crawled by, he found himself recentering into the real world.
His body ached, and he was exhausted. His stomach gnawed at him weakly in hunger and his eyes watered from staring unblinkingly for so long. He eyed the chair behind the librarian’s desk, his desk now, he reminded himself.
“Screw it.. The Library’s sorted enough, I've got the rest of the week to make it perfect. A ten minute nap won’t hurt, right..?” He huffed to himself as he pulled the window curtains open one by one. Shuffling over to the main library doors, he unlocked them and raised the shutters. Soft morning sun rays fluttered into the connected windowed hallway just beyond the doors. He smiled at the tiny beauty of life, spotting the main library windows letting in the same comforting, dappled light.
Pulling his cloak tighter around himself, he plopped into the chair at his desk, finding it soft and comforting. Leaning forward, he rested his head on his arms, and under the fluttering morning light, succumbed to sleep’s gentle embrace.
Unknowing of the rude awakening that was soon to come.
Chapter two
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words-for-holland · 4 years
Text
Quarantine Series: Birthday Date Night
Summary: It’s Y/N’s birthday, but Tom faces a slight problem. How does a boyfriend top off an accidental proposal while his girlfriend is working on her birthday...again!
Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden?
Masterlist
A/N: Sad to say that Quarantine Series may end real soon with 3 more parts to go 🥺. Also this was inspired by my birthday which just happened fairly recently! Thanks for all the support!!
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“Tom, mate. You’re pacing back and forth is making me dizzy.” Harry warned Tom, as he lied down on his bed, laptop in hand.
“Sorry, but I don’t know what to do! Y/N’s birthday is in a few days and I have absolutely no plan.” Tom reasoned as he plops on the couch across from Harry. “I mean I already blew the proposal which was supposed to be her birthday gift, but thats gone to shit.” He mumbled, biting his thumbnail.
“Just be happy she said yes.” Harry chuckled as he recalled the day. “I mean has she given any hints? You know Y/N, if there’s something she really wants, she’ll tell the whole world.”
“I know, but she hasn’t said a word and everytime I do ask her, she says ‘I dont know.’”, Tom groans as he rubs his temples. “I just want to do something really nice for her.”
Harry rolls his eyes as he continues shopping for his gift for Y/N. He and Y/N always loved to share memes and compete in board games, so it was only fair he’d get her an exclusive edition of Exploding Kittens. The one with a hard cover box, that plays mariachi music when you open it up. To be fair, he also really wanted it too, so imagine all the rounds they could play in a single day. “You always say this every year, but ever year you always deliver. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”
Tom sits still to ponder on his brother thoughts. “Yeah..Yeah I guess. Maybe I could take her out for a picnic lunch date. I know she’ll love to get out of the house. I’ll ask her to take off on Friday and it’ll be perfect!” He plans excitedly. He stands up, proud of his well thought out plan, already thinking of the perfect place to settle, the blankets to bring, and the smooth moves he’ll plan to swoon her away. It was completely foolproof.
Just two days before, Y/N displays a noticeable frown on her face. Sludging through the house, only made Tom drop his smile twice as fast when he noticed. “Hey, darling is everything all right?” He asked with worry written all over his face. Deep down, Tom prayed, hoping it was just something she liked was sold out or that she found out the ending of Hamiliton or something..anything but...
“My boss needs me to work Friday. Apparently they think it’s a great idea to put me as the President in charge of IT while he’s out.” Y/N says in a disappointing tone. “Im sorry, I know you wanted me to take off and I definitely wanted to for my birthday, but I guess it’s not happening.” Y/N’s heart feels heavy as she sees Tom’s equally disappointed face. “I did ask for Monday off, so whatever it is you planned we can do it then!” She mentioned, trying to cheer him up.
Tom let out a sadden sigh. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but of all days? Right when he was about to leave for Berlin in less than 4 days? Right when he and Y/N could spend another birthday together? At this point Tom felt like a hopeless man, as he stood in front of his girlfriend, who showed remorse and sorrow. Her long hair draped over her shoulders, and lips forming into that adorable pout that he could not resist. It almost made him smile, but only a little. “I know, but its not the same! You’re turning 24 and you have to work? Can’t you make some excuse?” He asks coming closer to her, smiling mischieviously.
Y/N’s brows knit together as she cautiously observes Tom’s behavior. She knew that look, that smile, that little bite lip he was pulling. “Oh no. No. No. No.” she says repeatedly, resisting the charm. “Im not gonna make some excuse.”
Tom comes even closer, his face bending down a little to meet her eye level, smiling as he runs the very tips of fingers on her sides. “C’mon darling, break the rules a little. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” He whispers kissing down her neck. “Please?”
Y/N looks up and away from those deep brown eyes, still resisting. “Tom, you know I can’t, no matter how bad I want to say yes.”
Tom draws a line up to her jawline with the tip of his nose. His breath warm against her soft skin. He hums and smiles, “Is your boss a fan of spiderman? What about his kids? I for sure remember you telling me Zach was a huge fan.”
Y/N laughs as she rolls her eyes, but she found it so endearing. The fact that he even remembered your boss’ kids’ name even though he’s probably caught a glimpse of them once or twice during her zoom meetings. “No. You are most definitely not using your celeb status to get me off from work.”
Tom shrugs his shoulders, as if it weren’t a big deal. He wasn’t one for flaunting his fame, but if it meant he could spend another day with Y/N, he would gladly use it. “Please...” he pleads one more time. “Just wanna spend time with my girl on her special day.”
Y/N thinks about it. She really did want to take off, and Tom’s efforts were quite convincing to say the least. It was only a matter of time before Tom would have to leave for Berlin, and Y/N wanted nothing more than to spend every minute with him. But Y/N also knew that if she didn’t do as she was asked by her company, the higher ups would probably have a bad impression of her or worse...fire her on the spot. Yet she knew her boss was also an understandable and chill guy. It wasn’t like she couldnt take off, just not when he’d be out at the same time, especially when she was asked to be in charge of the entire department.
Then, it hit her. She quickly excused herself out of the room to talk to her boss, and quickly came back to Tom with a smile on her face. Tom loved the way she smiled, and how her one little dimple formed on the right side of her mouth. He knew she was really happy, and he had just an idea of what it was. “You got the day off.” He answered excitedly.
“No.” Y/N responded, “But I did ask for half a day, so I’ll be free after 12.” Y/N continues as she comes closer to Tom, wrapping her hangs around his neck. “Hows that for a compromise? And I’ll do anything you wanna do for the rest of the day.”
“Good because you’re gonna love what I have in store for you.” Tom says, almost ready to brag about his well thought out romantic plan. He was ready to treat her like the queen she was on her birthday. How could anything go wrong?
On that faithful Friday, Tom woke up Y/N to many many birthday kisses. Reciting how beautiful she was, and how he couldn’t wait to celebrate with her. Reluctantly he had to let go, as she padded her way to the bathroom to get ready and head into her makeshift office for the next 5 hours.
Tom was all smiles, excited to take Y/N out. While everything felt like it was going according to plan, his mates had other news. “Ninety percent of thunderstorms?!” Tom exclaimed to his best mates in the kitchen.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be a major storm out there. Probably the worse that London’s had in a while.” Tuwaine informs as he reads the news on his phone.
Tom became a stuttering mess not sure how to justify or ask how that could be possible when it was beautiful this entire week. “But...But...It’s so nice out now!” He says discouraged. “No, this ruins my entire plan.”
“Hey mate, dont be like that. You can still find a way to celebrate it. Maybe you can do something romantic inside?” Harrison offers. Thats when it clicked. Harrison smiles, knowning the answer to Tom’s problem. “Yeah..make a date night here. We can set up the living room to be all fancy like.”
“Yeah! Tuwaine Harrison and I can be your waiters and make your dinner. Then just leave you two alone to do whatever you want you want.” Harry suggests.
“Just please...don’t mess up the couch.” Tuwaine groans, thinking about the potential possibity. “Im getting grossed out just thinking about it.”
Tom looks at his mates, giving thought into the new back up plan. He smiles at the group saying , “Lads, I think we got a new plan.”
Its exactly three in the afternoon when Y/N logs off from her laptop. She looks up at the window to notice how dark and dreary it was outside. Thunder was booming, and rain droplets came down hard, splashing off the window. It was her favorite kind of stay-in weather, but she hoped it didnt interfere with Tom’s plans if they had anything to do with being outside. As she opened the door, Harry and Tuwaine greeted Y/N with their own gifts and hugs. They made sure, she got dressed up, and led her downstairs. “M’Lady, your fiance will be right out.” Harry says in the most posh accent he could muck up.
Y/N rolls her eyes, and the moment she sees Tom walk into the living room, her heart skipped a beat. He dressed up with a bouquet of flowers and balloons in his hand. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” He says. “You look so beautiful.”
Y/N takes the gifts from his hands, placing them on the table. She runs to Tom, kissing him passionately, savoring the sparks that came and left with every push and pull of their soft lips. “You had plans to go outside for my birthday didn’t you?” She teases.
Tom laughs, as he throws his head back. “Yeah...I was planning a picnic and everything, but thats why I made sure Plan B would just be as romantic.” He takes her hand as they sit down at the candlelit table, eating, drinking , and talking away about anything and everything. When it was sometime Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine brought out a cake that Y/N had only been fantasizing and drooling about since May.
“No way! How did you guys order it?! I thought they didn’t do international shipping for Milk Bar!” Y/N exclaimed.
“Actually..they didn’t. But the recipe was online and we made it ourselves, with Sam’s help of course.” Harry answered, as he placed the candles in the center.
Her jaw dropped for a good ten minutes as she looked at the rainbow sprinkled cake, and the fluffy white frosting that sit perfectly in-between the layers. The crumbs on top were surprisingly uniformed and formed a perfect circle border, she was very impressed with them. Harrison lit the candles as all the boys sang along...off key of course with hints of laughter coming off every other note. Tom moved to her side, placing his arm around the back of her chair and leaned in to place a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Make a wish darling.”
Y/N looked up to see her favorite people in the entire world, smiling. “I dont need to. Everything I could possibly want is right here.” Y/N quickly blew the candles out and everyone left with their fair share of the cake. It was just Tom and Y/N left. They quickly changed out of their fancy clothes and back into their sleep wear, ending the night with watching Stardust and cuddles in the dark. Y/N tries to look behind her to see Tom’s face, who in turn looked down at her. She smiled at him whispering, “I love you.”
Tom quickly leaned in to capture her lips before answering, “I love you too. Happy Birthday Y/N.”
Taglist:
@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere
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harrywritingsbyme · 5 years
Text
Be Right Back
Based off of this ask 
Prompt List
A/N: WEDDING DAY SMUTT!! I split this request up, 4/5 and 3/6
3. “Ought t’fuck you right here if I have to.”
6. “You have no idea what I’m thinking about right now.”
Harry was horny. Harry was so hard, he thought he could cut glass. He tried to block out his filth ridden thoughts, he really did. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the things he wanted to do to, and with his new wife. Harry tried to be fully present in the conversation with your bother, but it was a bit hard to do when he was sporting a hard-on towards the guys sister. Fortunately for Harry, the conversation came to a halt when your sister-in-law steals your brother away. This gives Harry the opportunity to seek out his beautiful bride. He looks around the room for you and he spots your white gown across the room. He weaves in and out of the crowd of family and friends and comes over to where you were sitting. 
“Now I know such a pretty girl like you isn’t all by herself. If I were your boyfriend or husband, I’d keep with me at all times.” You hear Harrys voice nearing and you turn your legs out, inviting him to sit in front of you.
“He’s around here somewhere” you sigh smiling the man that was now sitting in front of you. You decided to sit out of all the festivities for the time being, in an attempt to recharge your batteries so you could get back to the fun. Harry slides his chair closer to yours so that your knees were touching, he sits his drink on the table and grabs your hands, thumbing over your wedding ring. 
“I love you Mrs. Styles” he says, leaning over to kiss you. 
“I love you even more Mr. Styles” you reply, meeting Harrys lips.
“I don’t think that’s even possible” he pulls away from your lips looking over your figure. You changed into a more comfortable dress after the wedding and harry couldn’t get enough of it. He thought you looked so delicate and pretty, he just needed you in some way.
“C’mere baby” he opens his arms to you and you move to sit in his lap. As soon as you sat down, you stood right back up. 
“Harry!” You gasp, and lightly shove his shoulder. Harry chuckles at your reaction, and pulls you back down onto his lap. 
“If it makes y’feel any better, s’all because of you baby” he kisses the area below your ear and pulls you further into his lap. 
“That makes it so much better” you say, your voice ridden with sarcasm.
“You have no idea what I’m thinking about right now.” He leaves a trail of kisses down your neck and shoulder. 
“What are you thinkin’ about” you ask this even though you already had a clue to what his response was. You turn in his grasp, wrapping your arms around his neck to get a better look at him. 
“So much baby” he begins “been thinkin’ about how good you’ll look with just y’ring on” he begins. “How good you’ll feel wrapped around my cock” Harry continues, getting closer and closer to your face. “How you’ll be screaming my name by the end of the night” he finishes, smearing his lips onto yours. You feel things warming up between your legs. You were trying to keep your flustered feelings at bay, but Harry was making it really hard. He slightly pulls his lips away from yours, and you chase after his lips. “Ought t’fuck you right here if I have to.” He chuckles at your urgency, and he taps your lower back for you to stand up from his lap. He stands up behind you, pulling you out of the large room. You and Harry get stopped along the way, to which you both quickly reassure almost everyone in your path that you were only stepping out for a little to get some fresh air. When you both eventually make it out to the lobby, Harry pulls you in the direction of your dressing room from earlier. Once inside, Harry closes and locks the door behind you two. He presses you against the door and he kisses you full force. Harry swallows all of your moans and presses his body against yours, his bulge pressing against your lower stomach. He lifts you up, wrapping his hands around the backs of your thighs. You feel the coolness of his wedding band against your skin and it only fuels your desire for him. You cup the sides of his face and you kiss him harder than before. 
Harry then moves towards the couch against the wall and he lays you back against the cushions. He separates his lips from yours and he looks at your splayed out figure beneath him. 
“Y’look so beautiful” he pants, gawking at how you looked, almost angelic. Now, he wanted to taint your halo just a little bit. You soon break Harry out of his thoughts, needing him to do something already.  
“Mr. Husband, are you going to fuck your wife now or what?” you question, growing impatient. 
“If you insist” he sighs jokingly, pushing your dress up above your hips and his eyes hone in on your little surprise for him. “To rip, or not to rip, that is the question” he ponders over whether or not he’d rip your panties off. 
“Oh my god, just shove your dick inside of me already!” you whine pulling at his pants, and undoing his belt. He chuckles at your reaction and he pulls your panties down your legs. He spreads your legs, resting between them. 
“Such a pretty little pussy” he admires, shoving his pants down his legs, and gripping his cock. “Y’ready?” He pushes his cock against your center. You nod your head and he pushes into you. 
“Fuck” you whine digging your nails into his biceps through his shirt.
“Feel so good baby” harry pants, pushing deeper into you. Harry takes some deep breaths, overwhelmed at how tight you were squeezing him. He starts to thrust into you, pushing his cock into you so deep you felt him in your tummy. Your head rolls against the fabric of the couch, unable to do anything else in response to the intense pleasure Harry was giving you. 
“Harder” you pant, needing harry to just slam into you. 
“Y’want me to go harder” he questions, pulling out of you, moving to flip you over and he yanks you back into him. He slams back into you and you claw at the arm of the couch. The only sounds in the room are Harrys pants, your gasps, and the sound of Harrys skin slapping against yours. “Fuck, m’gonna cum” harry pants, his grip on you tightens and his hips begin to slam into you harder. He moves his fingers to your clit and you feel your orgasm bubbling up inside of you.
“Harry” you moan loudly, cumming hard around him, with Harry not far behind. Harry lets you both catch your breath before slowly pulling out of you, and he reaches onto the floor to grab your panties. He slides them back onto you and he flips your dress back down. He helps you up off of the couch and onto your wobbly feet. 
“Told yeh you’d be screamin’ my name” he says matter of factly, fixing his clothes making sure to tuck, button and fasten everything  back into place.
“If this is gonna be forever, Im not so sure about this” you quirk your brow up at him through the full length mirror in the corner of the room. 
“Sorry baby, you’re kinda stuck with me” Harry wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. 
“Well theres no one else I’d rather be stuck with other than you Mr. Styles.” You look at him through the mirror, admiring the man who you now called your husband.
“I love you more than you know Mrs. Styles, I’d be honored to be stuck with you.” he turns you around in his grasp and gives you a kiss that was the same, if not similar to the kiss you had at the end of your wedding, just with a lot more tongue.
“I guess we have to go back out there and be the happy couple.” Harry pouts planting a quick kiss to your forehead.
“Less than 24 hours and we’ll be on our way to our honeymoon destination which by the way, I’d really like to know.” You pull Harry out of the room to go back to the party. 
“One, thats for me to know and you to find out, and two, I don’t think I’ll make it 24 hours.” He trails behind you. 
You and Harry danced the rest of the night away, downing the last pieces of your once beautiful cake, and downing almost an entire bottle of champagne between the two of you. You both were enjoying your post wedding and post sex bliss, making sure to savor every last moment together.
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nocturnegyser · 4 years
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The feels
Warren x Reader (raccoon)
A/N: I’ve had this typed out for a while and I wanted to go do more Warren x Raccoon material, I just decided to actually go through it, it still probably sucks but I tried. I’m not a professional in any sense, anyways, enjoy :3
———
Summary: Warrens been acting strange.. (y/n) tries to find out what’s happening with him, wonder what it is?
———
Having only been going to her new school for 2 months, (y/n) has already met so many cool people. She even started her band called ‘Clean Trash’, ironically not with Warren on the drums.
The one replacing Warren on drums was a 5th grader named Ryan Husk, his muatation allows to move any liquid with his mind, their bassist being an 8th grader named Mars Palenski, his mutation gives him a giant rats tail and ears, pretty similar to (y/n)’s raccoon ears and tail.
Needless to say, (y/n) was getting along just fine, she was keeping up with her classes, nothing perfect but she didn’t care, just as long as she was passing.
———
Waking up one morning for breakfast, (y/n) nader her way to the kitchen for hopefully some marshmallow mateys, one she got there she saw Warren standing at the stove preparing food, both locking eyes when she walked in.
This reminded (y/n) of their first proper time meeting, although instead of giving Warren a death look, she smiled and wished him a good morning.
Warren doing the same, (y/n) was grabbing the cereal and milk, in the midst of preparing her breakfast.
“I can make you some french toast if you want” Warren offered
“Huh?.. oh.. yea ok” the still waking up very tired raccoon girl sitting down at the counter
Peter and Alex then walking in greeting both a good morning, then returning a good morning back.
Peter then smelling the french toast “Oh man! I love your french toast!” Peter getting excited
“Fuck off, I’m not making you anymore after what happened last time” Warren staring daggers at Peter while setting a plate in front of (y/n) and himself
“What happened last time?” (y/n) asked pouring syrup on her stack
“Well basically-“ Peter started then Alex shortly cutting him off “He finished all 24 pieces Warren spent almost an hour making, he didn’t even get a single bite”
“Dang” (y/n) responded while taking a bite “Hey, what do you expect from me? I was too hungry!”
“Some damn self control would be nice” Warren still staring daggers at Peter, both opting to eat the same marshmallow mateys (y/n) was planning on eating
———
After finishing (y/n) washed her dishes and offered to help Warren clean up but he insisted she go and get ready for classes, she took him up on it and go ready for the day, washed her face, brushed her teeth, hair, ears and tail.
(y/n) and Warren didn’t have any classes together, their schedules didn’t really cross paths a lot, even morning breakfasts like that were rare, (y/n) was content with their schedules not matching up all the time, she was happy with whatever time they did spend together if any at all.
(y/n) mostly ate lunch with Jubilee and if she wasn’t available for lunch then Mars and Ryan would eat with her.
It was after classes when Clean Trash would practice in the unused music room, that is if neither Ryan or Mars had homework.
She had a policy if either of them had homework before coming to practice they would have to finish it before they turn the amps on, or if they got in trouble they wouldn’t practice that day, they didn’t practice on the weekends though.
“You guys got any homework?” (y/n) asked her band mates, “No,” both answered truthfully
“Ok, let’s begin with ‘My heart is a futon’” (y/n) taking initiative
“How do you come up with these song names?” Mars asked
“I dunno, just whatever comes to mind, mind counting us off Ryan?” (y/n) pointing at Ryan, guitar pick in hand
“One, two, three, four, one two!”
Warren just so happened to be passing by the music room the band was in and overheard them playing.
Wanting to go unnoticed, he peeked in through the window watching and listening to them play, mostly focusing on (y/n) though.
Jean shortly caught him watching them and overheard what he was thinking
She has a really good singing voice, not to mention how her hair falls perfectly while playing..
“Wow,” Jean interrupting his thought “Never seen you this head over heels for someone, must be pretty special”
“Hey! I’m not ‘head over heels’, okay?“ Warren realizing she knows exactly what she’s talking about “They just sound really good is all”
“Right, just like what you thought on the ride to the movies” Jean flustering the already flustered angel boy even more “You think you’re ever going to tell her?”
“How do you- look, quit reading my thoughts okay? I don’t have anything to tell her” Warren becoming a little defensive “We’re just friends”
“Warren, you’re only friends for so long before she moves on” Jean trying to convince him
“Moves on? what’s that supposed to mean?” Warren asked confused
“You’re going to see what I mean, just waiting around doing nothing” Jean then walking off
Move on?... does she mean... no
Warren takes one more glance of (y/n) playing before walking off
———
In his room who he shared with Kurt, laying on his bed thinking to himself
Should I tell her?... Will someone else come along?...
Kurt and Alex bursting in throwing Warrens train of thought off, both seeing his worry almost immediately
Kurt, trying to be a good friend crouched down near Warren “You have immense sadness in your eyes friend, tell us what’s wrong?”
Warren, not wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to come off too mean, “Ok Blue, listen, I don’t want to talk about anything, especially with you” eventually just walking out in a huff
“... Think it was something I said?” Kurts ears flopped in a sad manner, Peter assuring him it was him “Ah jeez, he’s been like this since our horror movie trip plan fell through, must’ve really wanted to watch that movie..”
What would I ever say.. How would I even say it... when.. should I say... GAH! I hate this! I’m going to workout
Walking in the locker room , he ran into Scott already talking to friends.
His friends having already gotten ready before him, they went on ahead leaving Scott alone with Warren.
“Hey Warren! I haven’t talked to you since the horror movie fail, how’ve you been man?” Scott trying to spark a small conversation getting ready
“Yeah I’ve been fine” Warren already disconnecting from the world around him
“Yeah, you never told us how your trip to the music shop with (y/n) was” Scott joked
“It was fine” Warren replied coldly
“Fine enough you started acting less cranky all the time?”
“It was until you opened your mouth” Warren getting done before Scott and heading into the gym
———
In her room, (y/n) and Jubilee are planning the elementary classes Summer picnic, it was a special request by Charles.
“So that’s 25 turkey sandwiches for the kids with nut allergies.. and 45 pb & j’s.. in total thats.. 70 sandwiches, whoooff” (y/n) laying back in her bed just wanting to go to sleep even thought it was only 4:37pm
“Ok Scott called the ice cream parlor and they did have each classes flavor selections, but we do have to go pick them up ourselves the day of,” (y/n), Jubilee, Scott and Jean have all been tasked in helping plan this picnic for some time.
“Ok I guess that just leaves... actually making the sandwiches, sorting the sandwiches, and picking up everything else.. ugh, I don’t hate these kids but why do there have to be so many of them” (y/n) was super exhausted
“Doesn’t your reality manipulation allow you to multiply objects?”
“I don’t have it under control yet, so as of the moment.. no”
“Well not taking the easy way goes to show how much you care right? Besides, isn’t one of your band members attending this picnic? Ryan Dust, right?”
“Husk, and yes, he is coincidentally in the class I’ll be helping supervise”
“You see? wouldn’t it be just awesome for little Ryan to his bands leader working hard?”
“Ugh... I guess so”
“Well I gotta get going” Jubilee started packing her things, “I gotta meet with Jane and discuss seating arrangements, see if you can get any help with the sandwiches, maybe ask Warren?”
“Why Warren?” (y/n) confused why Jubilee specifically said Warren
“Why not Warren? Doesnt Ryan look up to Warren as a drummer? I’m sure it would make Ryan super motivated to see two people he looks up to working so hard”
“Yea ok but-“
“Hold that but. I gotta go, talk later”
With that over, for now, (y/n) started cleaning up the mess of papers on her bed and grabbed her phone to call Warren, voicemail.
Huh... guess he’s busy right now.. I’ll ask again later... but I might forget to ask later and he might over book his schedule, he really needs to stop doing that... Oh! I know! I’ll set a reminder on my phone! this phone has a reminder app doesn’t it?
Navigating her phone proved to be more difficult than she anticipated, considering she’s had her phone longer than a month, it was still her first phone, her brother got it for her before she left, she never really got around to learning how to use it.
Getting frustrated not finding what she needed using her phone, (y/n) opted to asking Warren in person
———
Running around the whole mansion looking for Warren and even asking people who knew him if they saw him around, no luck.
Until she ran into Kurt and Peter in the main hall, (y/n) immediately running up to them and asking both if the saw him anywhere.
“Uh, yeah last we saw him, he was heading to the gym, looked like he was going through it,” Peter answered, Kurt immediately agreeing, “Ja, He stormed off after I asked him what was wrong..”
What was wrong? Going through it? What’s happening with Warren?
Peter then reassuring Kurt it wasn’t his fault Warren was upset, “Dude, I told you, he’s been like this since that movie we went to go see sold out on movie tickets, like I said, he’s probably just pissed he didn’t get to see it”
“Been like what?” (y/n) now concerned
“Well it’s kinda difficult to explain but more happy in a way kinda, but also crank now that he’s more happy, y’know?”
(y/n) understood what he meant, “Yea.. well I’ll ask him about it once I find him, thank guys,” (y/n) then running off towards the gym, the two boys nodding and continuing on with their day.
———
(y/n) made it to the gym, not having really used it yet, she just ran in looking for Warren, she figured she’d look for his wings since they were easy to spot.
After a few minutes of looking, (y/n) eventually spotted Warren lifting weights on a bench in the back.
She was waving and shouting to him hoping he’d notice but he wasn’t paying attention and had his music in.
(y/n) decided she’d approach him and get his attention that way, upon approaching him she tapped his shoulder hoping it would get his attention, big mistake.
Tapping Warrens shoulder triggered his fight instincts and whipped around with full wing span, cutting (y/n) in the face.
She fell to the ground dazed holding her face, Warren immediately realizing what he’s done he immediately runs to her and gives her a towel to cover her cut with.
Scott noticing the commotion ran over to help Warren rush (y/n) to med.
———
Outside of med Warren was pacing back and forth while Scott was sitting on a bench, both waiting for Hank and (y/n).
Warren couldn’t stop pacing, Scott tried to relieve him,” Hey look, worst case scenario, she just has some light scarring..”
Warren immediately erupting, “No! Don’t you get it??! This whole thing means I haven’t changed a bit since Apocalypse!!,” Warren having remembered his nature when he aligned with Apocalypse over 2 years ago.
“Hey! Now don’t say that! You obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you obviously aren’t the same from then“ Scott trying to assure Warren he isn’t the same from back then, “Look! even you and Kurt can live in the same room! Surely that means something”
“Yea, not like we ever talk,” Warren denying everything Scott was saying, Scott still trying to convince him otherwise, “Even Kurt considers you a friend now, he never saw you as a bad guy Warren, no one has, not even Charles”
Warren still not listening stormed off again, tears almost forming in his eyes, not too long after, Hank brought (y/n) with a clean bill of health apart from the bandage on her face, and a lollipop
“Nothing too bad, the bleeding stopped, it’s best to keep the bandage on to prevent bacteria from getting in,” Hank explained to Scott
“Thanks Mr. Hank, also for the lollipop” (y/n) gratefully thanked, then looking around for Warren “Where’d Warren go?”
“Oh, Warren... he needed to go... take care of something,” Scott nervously told (y/n) not wanting to worry her by telling her he stormed off because he’s afraid he’s the same as when he was with Apocalypse
“Oh... I just needed to talk to him about something..”
“About the sandwiches for the picnic right? Jubilee asked Peter if he could help, with Peter the sandwiches will be done in a second”
(y/n) shaking her head, “No, not that... I needed to ask him about.. something else”
Scott a little confused but realizing, “You’re not.. mad at Warren now are you?” Scott reluctantly asked (y/n)
(y/n) shaking her head again, “Of course not, I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him like that, it’s just as much my fault I got this that it his,” (y/n) immediately placing the blame on herself for something that obviously wasn’t her fault or Warrens
Both Hank and Scott try to reassure it wasn’t either sides fault
“Well, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, I just... I need to talk to him”
“Well.. it’s probably not the best time to... bother him, he’s got some .. things to take care of right now,” Scott trying to avoid even more problems between them
“Maybe, but he’s.. my friend, I need to know if he’s alright” (y/n) then speed walking off to go find Warren
“Ah jeez...” Scott sighed
“Think they’re... actually going to talk about... that?” Hank asked
“I dunno, I just hope they’re able to work things out”
———
Having run through the whole mansion looking for Warren once again, (y/n) was certain she knew where he was, but to no avail. On her way back to her room, she noticed the attic ceiling hatch and realized.
“Tch- could he...,” (y/n) began opening the hatch letting the ladder down then ascending up into the attic.
“Hello-“ (y/n) checking to see if anyone was up there, then there he was. Not wanting to alarm him again, she slowly arose from the hatch and go up slowly as to not to alarm him. Warren was just sitting on a window sill looking out, lost in thought
W: *Why did I do that... I told myself she.. I was going to...*
(y/n): *Ok, I can see he isn’t paying attention again... this time I’ll... I’ll call him softly as to not to trigger his attack again*
(y/n) reluctantly took a step closer, stepping on a creaky floorboard thus alerting Warren, Warren looked over and sat up immediately, panic in his eyes.
“(y/n)!” Warren stuttered
“Hi! uh.. I just wanted to check up on you ‘cus I heard from Peter and Kurt that-“ (y/n) trying to be friendly with Warren then cutting her off
“(y/n)! y-you shouldn’t be here, it’s not-“ Warren spat out nervously with (y/n) cutting him off in return
“Ok ok I know I know, you had some stuff to think about but, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I snuck up on you like that, I should have probably alerted you before approaching you, you just had your music in I didn’t know-“ Warren then cutting her off once again “Look. (y/n), I am truly sorry I cut your face but.. you shouldn’t be around me, I’m just-“
“What? Dangerous? just ‘cause you have metal wings? there are people in this world without metal wings who I’m scared of more than you”
“(y/n)-”
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me like that I just.. at first I wanted to ask you about sandwiches but.. Peter and Kurt told me you’ve been ‘going through it’, their words not mine, and I just wanted to see exactly... what it is you’re going through..”
“(y/n), listen, you don’t understand, I’m the Archangel of Death! I don’t belong anywhere here, I just-“ Warren spewed out with (y/n) cutting him off again
“Warren! just shut up and listen to what I have to say!” she bursted out, continuing “I know you don’t mean any harm even whatever happened in the past, I’m not sure what all happened but that’s hopefully why I’m here, I just want to be there for someone who makes this place feel more like home even though we don’t meet up a lot”
“y/n), I-“
“Being here was scary but being here with you.. made it less scary, I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but.. I want. to be there for you when I can, Warren” (y/n) then taking a step closer knowing Warren can’t go anywhere
“Being around you.. I feel.. like maybe being here isn’t so bad, like maybe I can actually make something of myself here, like maybe.. you aren’t so bad..” (y/n) holding herself with tears welling up in her eyes
“I don’t know if you feel the same around me but.. that’s how I feel.. about you” (y/n) finally finishing
“(y/n)...” (y/n) holding for impact, entirely expecting him to reject her feeling, “I feel the same way about you,” Warren then taking a step closer
(y/n) almost gasped not believing what she heard
“Being around you.. brings me to a simpler time in my life and.. whenever we do meet up or bump into each other that feeling washes over me completely and.. I thought you hated my guts when we first met. You calling me angel boy, me calling you trash panda.. I never thought you’d want to talk to me ‘cus..” Warren expanding his wings and motion to them “I also wanted to be there for you when I could but.. I never saw you during the day, so I just..”
Both of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eye, then both taking another step closer to one another.
“Can I..” Warren started, looking deep into (y/n)’s yellow golden eyes, “Can I.. kiss.. you?”
(y/n) tears streaming down her face, just stood there looking up at Warren, not even answering him, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck just going for it. They kissed, Warren holding her close to him, (y/n) hasn’t felt so safe since she moved, Warrens wings around both of them. After what felt like forever only being 8 seconds, they separated kissing still holding each other.
“Well... ever kiss a raccoon face girl?” (y/n) joked
“He he, uh.. no but it was definitely a fine start”
Both chuckling before kissing again
———
A/N: if this sucked plz tell me, bully me if it was actually bad :D
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cirilee · 4 years
Text
i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.
if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)
(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)
bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^
My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.
.... ..
yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?
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pleasant-boi · 4 years
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OK I'm still on wisdom tooth pain killers and I can't write shit so stuff for this AU where I give Akechi some parental figures to disappoint.
It is still going to be really, really bad. Akechi still gets involved with the conspiracy though he's like... 10% more mentally stable this time around due to some good influences.
By god we're getting you a fucking proper redemption arc bro.
I'm going to age the p3 cast a couple of years, since canonically there is a 5-6 year gap between the events of p3 and p5 if I remember correctly, and I want everyone to be adults ™ and in Tokyo for plot reasons when the p5 cast are children. I was thinking of maybe around 7 years? So Akihiko and Mitsuru are 25, Junpei and Yukari 24, Fuuka 23 and Ken 18 while the p5 cast are around 10-12...if my math is correct I'm gay ok?
Koromaru is not dying, persona makes animals immortal I don't make the rules I'm all for angst/whump but the dog lives. Koromaru insists on looking after strays so everyone in sees constantly fosters little animals - mostly Ken, but the others occasionally too, especially when Ken was exams
Is this also a convoluted way to give Akechi a puppy to bond with?
Yes, yes it is.
Basically adult!SEES with uni!Ken is like having cousins who live in the same city when you're in university. You love them you don't talk for months and suddenly you're around them for like a week straight. Ride or die (or ignore their existence for like 2 months straight because you were living ur life ™)
Ken is in his first year of uni in the beginning of this. He's studying to be a vet. Or maybe a doctor. Maybe he'll change majors in the future. Not sure. But I headcon him as wanting to get into something thats helps people like medicine and the boy has a soft spot for animals
Everyone is dealing with trauma. Other than Ken who like Arena (we're just using stuff we like from that game and ignoring the rest shh) stopped getting involved with shadow stuff and had a relatively normal rest of his childhood - with some help of Kirijo appointed therapists-, Junpei is the most well adjusted.
Everyone is still in a place where they feel due to the event's of p3 and after the death of p3mc, femc (twin AU! TWIN AU! ) and everyone else in their lives, getting close to people other than their group is... Hard.
Junpei is too busy loving his npc wife, so it's easier to ignore the bad stuff. He also has children. He cried when they were born for like a month straight. Thinking of them being twins, one of them having red hair like Chidori because of anime reasons ™.
Because of that they end up with a lot of impromptu sleep overs and basically everyone has a spare room except Ken because he's a student, Junpei because he has kids and even with Mitsuru being everyones unofficial platonic sugar mommy, that many rooms is expensive and Yukari who is the only one not officially living in Tokyo but she's there like 80% of the year for shootings and has a studio apartment.
They avoid gathering at Fuuka, because she insists on making food every time and while it is usually edible (or edibles lmao) she likes to experiment a lot. So it's a bet between normal food, maybe a bit burned sometimes but nowhere near as bad as in highschool or mystery food X.
I'm keeping Akihiko as a c- 🤮 as a cop, only because I found his reason for it in Arena super wholesome. If not maybe a police consultant. I'm still on the fence about it. Plus Mitsuru needs inside allies for shadow ops.
Speaking of Akihiko, that's how I'm giving Akechi parental figures!
One of Akechi's Foster homes locks him out when he doesn't come straight from school and this time they don't even let him in for the night.
Akechi kinda runs away, gets lost and ends up spending the night crying in some random alley before passing out.
If I'm keeping the cop ™ route maybe someone calls the police and Akihiko ends up checking it out. Or maybe he's out running in the middle of the night, because let's face it, probably no one could relax before 1am, anxiety about the dark hour some how returning and it's something Akihiko 'I deal with the deep terror of losing again everyone close to me by punching things, working my body to its limit and putting myself in danger but I'm definitely not an adrenaline junkie' Sanada would do
Speaking of which the investigation team definitely checks for the midnight chanell every time too
Akihiko sees a passed out kid in the middle of the night and of course he tries to help. He asks if he's lost etc and ultimately he asks and where are his parents.
It's mid fall so while the temperature isn't deadly it is cold out, maybe it's raining too, for the extra suffering/whump, and he's pushing a bit with the questions because the kid is definitely going to get pneumonia if he hasn't already.
Akechi doesn't really respond until the parent thing, almost screams about how his mom is dead and no body wants him around and starts crying again.
Akihiko has braincells, however none of them are any help with social interactions. Much less with a sobbing child in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure where to go exactly from here but Akechi clearly has a fever (and if we're going with the rain route especially he needs to get dry and warm asap) and is really against going to the hospital because 'they're going to kill me if there is a hospital bill' so either
a) Akihiko calls child services and takes him to the station and sits with him until they arrive or
b) he takes him back to his apartment for the night because it is late, the kid needs some sleep and blankets and he knows the system is underfunding and overworked at best so it would be better to just call them in the morning
That particular one can have some cute hurt/comfort with pancakes for breakfast because Akihiko is also pancake boi and Akechi crying again because no one has been nice to him in years
Anyway, both end with Akihiko giving Akechi his number and telling him to call if something bad happens again.
Akechi doesn't. At least for a little something over half a year. He's in a really bad foster home and one night he ends up locked in the hall closet, trying not to cry because even breathing hurts but if he did make more noise it would be worse.
He has the number memorised by now and when he tries to curl up in the small space and feels a cellphone in a fallen jacket (remember the 2000s where most people used their cells only outside or when you wanted to talk to your crush?) , he takes it out, heart beating loudly before sending a series of panicked texts explaining the situation
He doesn't really think that it's going to do anything because there isn't a response but the small part of him that hoped something would go right for once still hurts
Meanwhile Akihiko didn't even think about replying because he almost had to be physically restrained from running there and punching the shit out of them
It's not even 20 minutes later when the police comes with Akihiko and at that point Akechi is almost unconscious, but starts screaming and banging against the locked door when he hears the commotion, immediately passing out when he feels it open
When he comes to he's a in a hospital, getting yelled by a social worker about how he has to change homes again some soon and it his fault and Akechi just bites his lips, trying to tune it out and not cry again.
Akihiko overhears all that and while he would normally just leave it to the proper authority and is nowhere near close to the ready for a responsibility like that, is like 'fuck it temporarily custody until he's healed and also I'm giving this kid some proper food and a couple of punching lessons'
There's more but this is already getting long asdvyrsvgjcw
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headfullofstories · 4 years
Text
Truly Monstrous Luck - part 4
After half an hour or so of sitting alone in the dark, I decide to go out and explore some more. I put my journal in my backpack and fish out my binder, taking off my shirt quickly to slip it on over my head before throwing the shirt back on. I decide to leave my bag here, lock my room behind me and walk as quietly as I can down the hall of rooms. There are a few other people milling about, most walking the opposite direction, most of them giving me odd looks as I pass by. I keep my head down and let my feet carry me through the winding corridors. 
Eventually I find myself back in the greenhouse, moonlight spilling in through the glass ceiling, shifting and shimmering through a layer of water blocking this place from the rest of the world - is this Turtle Pond? Or some other body of water?
The butterflies are all asleep, but now lightning bugs populate the air. They hover in the air effortlessly, tiny stars filling the great big space of the greenhouse. They start to float around me as I walk in and take a spot over by a pond full of lily pads and lotus blossoms. I sit there for a few minutes, examining the greenery floating on the water, when I hear a voice behind me say, “Damn, I’m usually the only one in here this early.”
I jump several feet to the side, turning to see who just spoke. A girl with moss in her hair and piercing orange eyes stands in the doorway. She walks over to me, and I see that her feet are bare and covered in vines and greenery, decked out in dirt covered overalls and a light blue t-shirt. She studies my face for a moment, crouching down so we’re eye to eye. My breathing is shaky and erratic as I try my best to calm myself down and slow my heart rate down. Her eyes narrow as she takes in all of the details of my face. I chew on my lower lip nervously, hoping to ground myself a little more. After looking at my face for about 10 seconds, her eyes wander down towards my neck and land on the bite mark imprinted in my skin. As soon as I register this, my hand flies up to cover the mark as her eyes widen. 
“You’re a new vampire.” She remarks. “Been almost a year since we’ve had one of you here.”
I give a shaky nod and slowly uncover the bite mark again, sitting up straight as she backs away. “I’ve had a really bad 24 hours.” I mutter as I begin to fidget, hitting the heels of my hands together. “Being in here has made me feel a lot better. I was in here earlier and I ended up getting covered in butterflies.”
She gives a slow nod. “Well, if the insects all like you this much, I guess I can trust you.” She reaches out a hand, “my name is Calla. Resident dryad.”
I grab her hand, which is rough and covered in calluses. “I’m Victor.”
“Well, Victor, do you have any interest in magic?”
“Magic?” I echo, and all of the air is suddenly pulled from my lungs. “What… what kind?”
“Depends on where you get your magic from.” She responds. “You seem to have a real affinity for nature, have you ever had any interest in druidic magics?”
“C-can I even… channel nature magic? I’m not… alive anymore.” I ask, fidgeting getting slowly worse. “Do you need to be alive to use life magic?”
She thinks about it for a moment, shifting to a sitting position. “I don’t think so. I’ve never met a druidic vampire, but you seem to have a strong connection with this place.”
I manage to largely control the fidgeting, but my eyes wander to the lightning bugs floating in the air. “I think… I’d like that.”
“Great!” She smiles, “You probably have stuff going on today, being new and all, but I’m here most nights if you want to talk.”
I give her a thumbs up, then get up and start to walk around looking at all of the different planter boxes. 
As morning light starts creeping through the glass ceiling, an hour or so after the lightning bugs have settled back into their hiding places, and Calla has located herself up at the top of a cherry tree and is currently browsing her phone, Arthur ducks his head in through the doorway. 
“Hey Victor, you free?” He inquires, “Yvonne said you were probably in here.”
I nod and pull myself to my feet. I turn and wave good-bye to Calla, who gives me a 2 finger salute in return, then run over to where Arthur is waiting in the doorway.
“No backpack?” He asks, and I shake my head.
“No, I came down here at 3AM. Didn’t think I’d need it.”
“Jesus kid, did you even sleep last night? You still need to sleep, yknow.”
“Yeah, I fell asleep at like, 7:30 or something yesterday.” I assure him. “I woke up at 2:30 and got restless after a little bit.”
“Thats… actually more sleep than I usually get. Good job, kid.” He remarks, lightly patting me on the head a couple of times. I smile at that.
We set off down a new set of hallways, away from where I’ve mainly been until now. There are more people down this way, and most of them don’t even bat an eye when they see me. I’m glad that they’re not staring like everyone else I’ve met so far, but the number of people in the enclosed space of the hallway makes me a little nervous. Most of the people are a lot taller than me, too, and some of them look like they could snap me in half like a twig. I stay close behind Arthur, trying to take up as little space as possible. 
We walk for a few minutes, the floor slowly sloping upward, before stopping in front of a room labelled “Office.” We walk in and Arthur gestures for me to stay put by the door as he goes up to talk to a man with ram’s horns and lavender eyes sitting at a messy wooden desk. They talk for a moment before Arthur turns, waves me over, and starts down a short hallway going deeper into the office. The layout of this area reminds me of the offices at all of my old schools, and I don’t know if I like that… at all.
“You good?” Arthur asks, turning around to face me. I shift in place for a moment, before looking at him and giving him an uneasy shrug. 
“This place has the same layout as my old school offices.” I mutter. “It’s making me a little nervous.”
He nods sympathetically. “This place is a lot better than a school office. They actually care about you here, and the lady who schedules all of the gender confirmation surgeries has her office in here.”
My eyes go wide. “We-we’re already scheduling that?” I gasp, starting to hit the heels of my hands together excitedly. 
“Well, why would we put it off if we could schedule it now?” He smiles. “Besides, the faster we get this scheduled, the earlier your appointment will be, and the less likely you’ll be to fuck up your ribs by binding too long.”
I might actually start crying right now. My vision goes out of focus for a moment, and I start bouncing on the balls of my feet. 
“Uh, kid?” He asks, a nervous lilt to his voice. 
I look straight into his eyes, smile creeping across my face. “I’m just… so fucking excited about this.”
His expression softens, and he gives me a nod. “Being a vampire kinda sucks ass. Dysphoria sucks even more ass. There’s no cure for vampirism, but if you get rid of the parts of you that make you dysphoric, it makes immortality a little more bearable.” 
We stand out in the hallway for a few minutes before a woman pokes her head out of the office in front of us. Her eyes are the color of fire and her ears are long and pointed. She has long white hair and pale skin - not vampire pale, but pale enough to be odd.
“Arthur, good to see you.” She says in an unnervingly calm voice, then looks over to me and smiles. “Who is this young man?”
“This is Victor. He’s new.” He sighs. “We’re looking at getting him in with the top surgeon over at Moonlight.”
“Excellent!” She exclaims, “Why don’t you come in and sit down?”
Arthur heads in first and I follow close behind him, nervous of this new person; she gives me really bad vibes. 
The office is clean and smells like rubbing alcohol; it makes my head hurt a little. There’s a pair of cushioned wooden chairs on one side and a spinning desk chair on the other. Everything is organized - the macbook, paperclip box, and pencil container sitting on the desk look like they were aligned with the edge of the desk with a right-angle ruler, and the mesh waste paper bin is empty. The entire energy of the room makes me deeply uncomfortable.
 As soon as I sit down I pull my legs up into a criss-cross, and the woman grimaces a little, though she says nothing. I start tapping my fingers against my legs, and I have a hard time focusing on any one thing in the room.
The woman clears her throat as she begins to talk, "So, Victor, you're interested in top surgery?"
My focus snaps to her immediately and I nod my head vigorously. "Very much so. The… thought alone of people seeing my chest makes me nauseous and just… having them makes me really uncomfortable."
She nods, and opens up her laptop. "And… how old are you?"
"Twenty."
"Do you have any legal documents? An ID?"
I shake my head. "My wallet got stolen yesterday, and I didn't have a driver's license or a social security or health insurance card or anything like that anyways."
"And that answers my third question." She mutters as she types. "And… you are a vampire, correct? When were you turned?"
"Yesterday." I mutter, "at 10:30AM or so, I think."
She continues to type for a few more moments, then starts to mutter under her breath before speaking again. 
"Okay, Victor, the soonest appointment I see here is September 15th. Does that work for you?"
My eyes go wide. "That's… that's only 3 months away."
She nods, and repeats the question. "Does that day work for you?"
I nod vigorously again. "I don't have any prior obligations anymore."
"Excellent!" She smiles, types a little more, and closes her laptop again. "Victor, you are all sorted. It was good to see you again, Arthur. Make sure you're remembering to take care of yourself."
"I will." He sighs, and stands up. "Well, if that's all, Victor, you were going to see your brother today if I remember correctly."
I nod, and quickly get up to follow him as he heads out the door. 
"That was Eleanor." He says once we leave. "She takes care of all of the medical expenses and legal stuff around that.”
“I don’t really like her.” I remark. “She reminds me of the therapist my parents sent me to when I was 14. She said I was a crazy little girl and that I’d never be able to function at a normal capacity, but refused to give me any diagnoses.”
He gives a sympathetic nod. “Well, Eleanor’s really nice - she takes a little while to warm up to new people, but she’s a good person.”
“That’s nice to know.” I mutter. “I just hope I don’t end up being an exception to that niceness. That happens to me a lot.”
He lets out a deep sigh at that. “Some people just attract misfortune. And it fucking sucks when you’re one of those people.”
“There are people that have it a lot worse than me.” I argue. “I had a perfectly fine life and the access, money, and ability to take testosterone and wear a binder.”
“Kid, yesterday you were unemployed, homeless, and had no money, not to mention that you were effectively murdered.” He points out. “That sounds fucking horrible, and your suffering shouldn’t be discounted because other people ‘have it worse’ than you.”
“I wasn’t homeless. I got evicted, but I could’ve just stayed with my brother. And I called my bank to cancel the card that got stolen, so technically I’m not broke, I just… don’t have access to my money right now.”
“I don’t care how much you try to belittle your struggles, Victor, I’m not changing my mind.”
“I… well, you’re not changing my mind, either.” I grumble.
“We’ll see.” He mutters. “I can be very persuasive.”
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