#thats adequately tagged
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chai-en-kaadhale · 1 year ago
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whenever a ship poll results with the vote percentages being ~49% and ~51% just know that actually neither of those ships won and the real winner is kim dokja x traumatizing everyone
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skunkes · 11 months ago
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another thing i love about dungeon meshi along with how theres adequate time given to every character that matters! Is that like. Along with no "every single character in supporting cast gets put on the backburner in favor of MC / other character development" is that theres also no "god these characters are all so boring except that one guy who is tragic and compelling" bc they all have the same capacity for compelling tragedy (and such).
And it also doesn't feel like when ppl tack on as much Bad Things onto a characters life just to emphasize tragedy or hardship... Theres a good balance in each of em. The recent leaked izutsumi dark lore implication drop wasn't even in the main story and it doesnt feel like that quirky "i love torturing my ocs! 🤪🤪🤪🤪 (Literally just throwing everything into one pot)" sentiment i see here often if that makes sense. It doesn't feel Edgy ykwim
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the-somwthing · 9 months ago
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I really wanted Jimmy to win Real Life after what he went through in that cave but his death scream absolutely makes up for the fact that he died
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rancidiva · 6 months ago
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please.....im begging everyone to just block things they dont like/find triggering instead of making dumbass "callout" posts about someome writing or drawing a thing and talking about how gross it is. blocking people and filtering tags is an ability you have. use it liberally when needed.
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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It's OK you can always count on me to go Well Actually <3 fair enough though can't be deranged if you're dead...
Oh but yeah I just meant Arakawa's line from the original teaser where he says "You only live once, so live without regrets." I haven't revisited the new trailers in their entirety but I know he's not in it (aside from Nakai being listed in the credits). It'll be interesting to see where the teaser lines pop up in-game, since we've seen Jo's already in the story trailer... anyway who are you talking to old man... or I guess Young Man...
NO AKANE'S SO FUCKING BADASS FROM WHAT WE KNOW ALREADY need to meet her NOW... she has every single organization out to get her for real though... If I May Be So Bold As To Hope, characters like her have been faring decently well for the past little while (there's a very similar character in The Kaito Files who's fine), so I'd love for Ichiban to at least get to meet her. I know RGG will never let biological family off the hook but I hope Arakawa and Aoki and maybe Jo's sacrifices can secure at least that much... Lol...
Based on the final shots of him in the epilogue, I do think Jo was past the point of having any big reactions to Aoki's death. Honestly, I'll admit it looked like what we saw was his reaction, or the aftermath of it, to me; Japanese inmates aren't cut off from current news and I can imagine the assassination of the governor would be a big deal, even if it's been a while.
I can definitely see him having the instinct to blame Ichi, but I also feel like he was sort of starting to become aware that blaming Ichi didn't accomplish anything near the end. His admonishment of Ichi for being "late" to try and save Hoshino felt pretty half-hearted compared to past instances, like he was going through the motions of their usual interactions but didn't think it was fair himself. He seems to be more or less fine with Ichi now, at any rate...
Either way, it'd be a big missed opportunity to just have Jo ship Ichiban off to Hawaii without some reflective dialogue between them considering everything they've been through together, so fingers crossed for that. I'd love to see your take in whichever form you'd wanna pursue!
That Aside I hope your charger comes in soon </3 might help take your mind off things if you got to draw... Gaiden and Infinite Wealth and whatever else is to come will be worth it, so as always, hang in there and take care brother!
Not somethin i wanna depend on BUT :) we live (´∀`=)
OH THAT BIT fair enough i missed it then: at the time the only thing i took away from that trailer was that We Were Definitely Seeing Sawashiro Again and i had tunnel vision to not even acknowledge arakawa _(:X 」∠)_ it’ll be fun to see the origin of that line tho…
for Three Souls ichi should be allowed to confidently meet his ma and stay in contact with her.. a lil late to start buildin a relationship with your ma but its the least he deserves (о´∀`о)
Fair to assume sawashiro prob got word by then, thats true.. ill hold my breath on ichi and sawashiro reflectin on the whole situation: its hard to imagine they Wont bring up the topic at some point right lol
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starry-bi-sky · 7 months ago
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#battinson with chronically ill half dead teenager yesssssssss#I'm imagining that first night he brings danny to the cave and hes just internally panicking#like what do i do with this kid. where do i put him. i cant just leave him in the cave. im DEFINITELY not leaving him alone
FRRRR. Like @/that1badassbitch mentioned in the comments, Bruce's thoughts that entire time was just varying pitches of internal screaming. Which I am still wheezing at because yeah, preach. Bruce's pov from the moment Danny accosts him in the alley to him bringing Danny into the cave ranges from awkward panicking, genuine desperation to get this kid some help, a lot of heartbreak on the boy's behalf, and also just pure anger at his godfather.
Cuz like, who the fuck does this?? How dare he. This boy is a child. If it weren't for Danny's genuine terrified pleading, Bruce would've probably had a confrontation with Vlad. He would've lost, considering Vlad's power set and Bruce's lack of and Vlad would have gotten away with Danny. But he would've tried it. (Could've resulted in a spin-off au where Bruce, after losing to Vlad, proceeds to hunt the bastard down to save Danny.)
But yeah, I absolutely, delightfully agree that Battinson is just. internally panicking the entire time. From the rooftops, to the car, to the driving all the way to the cave -- which, after a quick google search, is apparently in an abandoned train depot in Batman (2022). Which is fascinating to me, but I digress. His internal monologue consists of cussing out Danny's godfather, trying to figure out what the poison is, a repetitive use of the word "FUCK", and him going "keep him awake keep him awake keep him aWAKE--"
But like, in a more Bruce Wayne fashion.
Danny is curled up in the passenger seat beside him and Bruce keeps intermittently checking on him every few seconds. Danny just looks like shit, man. Poor kid has a seemingly unending bloody nose, he's coughed a few times already and each time sounds like its shaking through his lungs and taking a piece out. His breathing is hollow, quietly raspy, and Danny sounds like he's gasping each time he breathes in. He's pale, clammy and sweating, but trembling, and his eyes are glazed over, unfocused, and half-lidded.
Dealer's choice here but I'm very amused but also fond of the idea that Bruce, in an attempt to do anything to soothe this kid, panic-clips off his cape and kinda just. throws it at him. Cringes, then awkwardly tries to adjust it so it's laying over him like a blanket.
It works though! Danny, through his haze, cracks a smile at him before grabbing the cape and practically curling around it. He seems to visibly relax, and Bruce silently slumps with relief that his idea worked. I also think he tries to painfully make some sort of small talk but frankly the only valid form of "small talk" he knows is interrogation. Danny's too out of it to mind though.
Bruce asks him if he knows what his godfather used to poison him.
("Blood Bl'ssom.") ("What is that?") ("A k'nda plant. Issa type o' rose.") ("Where can I find one?") ("Y'can't.") (And hear Bruce's blood chills for a moment. "What do you mean?") ("Blossoms went extinct in th- in the 1600s.") ("What? How is that possible? How'd your godfather get his hands on one?") ("Science.")
He also learns that the poison is, horrifyingly, cannibalistic, and Danny reassures him that he kinda stopped feeling the pain a few hours ago. Then he gags on nothing and spirals into an ugly coughing fit. "...Mostly." He adds on.
I have this very vivid mental image of Battinson screeching to a stop in the cave, Alfred's off to the side messing with some prototype gadgets. Bruce's side door swings open and Alfred's in the middle of snarkily asking if he's decided to get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight, only to immediately eat his tongue when Bruce beelines to the other side of the car and frantically pulls a waifish victorian kid with the tuberculosis blood cough to match out of the passenger's side.
("Dear god, what happened!?") ("His godfather poisoned him. I need towels and every medical device we have in here.")
The few photos I could find of the Battinson Cave did not imply there was a gurney in there, so Bruce uses on of the metal tables. He uses one arm to swipe off all the stuff on there onto the floor before laying Danny down.
It's. a very stressful time! That's for sure. Bruce is stuck between trying to get some form of antidote or at the very least a neutralizer to the blood blossom extract made, and also reassuring Danny that he's going to be fine. He's out of his depth.
They do get Danny stabilized though! How? Uh, I hadn't actually been able to think of how up until now, and this is just me trying to throw together an idea up on the fly. But Bruce like, manages to make some kind of 'antidote' that doesn't completely kill the blood blossom extract, but it makes the poison at least forcibly slow down.
[Forced to put a read more because this got SO LONG. oops]
"like what do i do with this kid. where do i put him. i cant just leave him in the cave. im DEFINITELY not leaving him alone" <<< is his sudden internal crisis after Danny's stabilized and passed out on the table. Giving him back to his godfather is completely off the fucking table, and Bruce can't give him up to CPS because there's a risk that he'll also return to his godfather.
He ends up, unsurprisingly to all of us, on deciding to keep Danny with him for the time being. At least until they can get his godfather behind bars. And you're right! Danny can't stay in the cave -- it's a half-furnished, rundown train depot. There's a tetanus shot waiting around each corner. It's Bruce's (reluctant) idea to take him up to the manor.
So Danny wakes up in an incredibly gothic guest bedroom, not feeling 100%, but also not feeling like total death like he did yesterday. He can still feel the blood blossom in him -- it leaves a joint and muscle soreness throughout his whole body, and when he breathes there's a weight there.
His confusion over where he woke up -- because it's very much not Vlad's place -- is overshadowed by his frank awe. You can't tell me he hasn't developed an appreciation and fondness of gothness due to his friendship with Sam. He might not be into it like Sam is, but he can appreciate the beauty when it's right in front of him.
#and hes got that awkward silent staring thing going on. Danny's trying not to die and vlads not there anymore#so hes unbothered by it really
Bruce pulled up a chair next to Danny's bed in the manor and didn't move a single inch the entire time. Just. sat there and stared to make sure the kid didn't stop breathing in the middle of the night. Probably has some facial recognition scanner going to try and figure out Danny's last name -- whether that works or not is dealer's choice frankly.
Either way, Danny turns his head to the left and nearly jumps three feet into the air when he sees Bruce and his 'stares into your soul' blue eyes. Sends him into a minor coughing fit by accident. Battinson very awkwardly and quietly apologizes. danny kinda just waves him off.
That's a whole conversation I'm not gonna go into, but to sum it up Bruce asks how Danny's feeling, and Danny tells him that he feels better, but he can still feel the blood blossom poison. So whatever he did, didn't get rid of all of it. (He's still incredibly fucking grateful nonetheless)
cue that "getting to know you" interrogation stuff.
(Danny can probably keep the full extent of his halfa status a secret from Bruce at first, but he is forced to tell Bruce about the ectoplasm running through him since it's the only reason the blood blossom toxin even works on him. Which results in him telling him a.. slightly omitted version of why he even has that in there in the first place.)
(Maybe he reveals that he was a hero in order to convince Bruce to let him out on the field rather than being just support? I've got ideas and fortunately your tags will help me delve into them)
#alfred pretends to be exasperated that bruce kidnapped a kid but honestly hes relieved#maybe being responsible for someone else will make bruce more responsible for his own health
no notes. just know that i'm wheezing at this. my friend @kingcrow01 had Alfred essentially reacting the same fucking way.
#the media would eat it up are you kidding??? the reclusive prince of gotham seen with a mysterious child???#and theyve both got that sickly pathetic wet cat look to them what with bruce constantly being injured and danny being chronically poisoned
FR! I love social media shenanigans and I love seeing it in fic (Lex Luthor's Ascent From Supervillainy To Fatherhood is a really good example of it imo), although i'm not too good at making it myself. Imagining how twitter in-universe might react to photo evidence of Danny with Bruce is going to fuel my desire for seeing people's reactions to things for ages. I am delighted to imagine that dumpster fire. The in-universe memes, guys.
Nobody has any clue what this mysterious Wayne child looks like for the longest time because Danny follows Bruce's lead and dresses in Anti-Paparazzi Recluse Fits. Mostly because he's the godchild of an equally reclusive and influential billionaire figure, and I imagine Vlad would pitch a media fit trying to find his poor, beloved godson.
Can you imagine the fucking SCANDAL if people found out that Vlad Masters' godson ran off and was currently living with recluse Gotham Prince Bruce Wayne? The tabloids would eat this shit up. It's a three-course meal that's paying their rent for the next three months. That's not even to say what Vlad might do upon finding out Danny's whereabouts.
So yeah, photo evidence of Danny only has shots of him wearing a large hoodie, one of Bruce's jackets, and a medical face mask and a hat. It doesn't hide any of the Sickly Pathetic Wet Cat look, if anything it enhances it. But you can see his bright 'staring into your soul like the oracle of delphi' blue eyes, and the black curls plastering his face, and his pale skin.
In some photos, as blurry as they are, Danny appears to be leaning into Bruce's side, seemingly using him as a support. The "antidote" (medicine?) Bruce created that first night was effective, but it wears off eventually. Before they make his medical bracelets, the both of them agree to use the antidote Bruce made to stave off the worst of the poison.
These photos are taken around the times the antidote was wearing off or had worn off, and the toxin was taking itself out of the backseat and shifting back into high gear. Despite that, Danny managed to convince Bruce to let him tag along on whatever shopping run he was on.
Someone took one of these photos and captioned it "Pathetic Wet Cat and his Sickly Pathetic Wet Kitten" and posted it on SMS. It got numbers.
Oh my god, I just thought of this but when Battinson is finally cornered by reporters asking him about Danny he does this:
he internally panics, and then with a straight face says "i don't know what you're talking about. i don't have a son." and then he Flees.
(this blows up in his face because the reporter he responded to never asked him if Danny was his son, they asked him who the boy seen with him was. Bruce is trending on twitter before he even makes it home. He's mortified. There's potential here for a scene between Bruce and Danny where they have that long-awaited 'are we family?' conversation.)
#i know everyone's focusing on danny working as a hero with batman and his relationships with dick and jason and everyone as the older siblin#but im still stuck on early days batman with a teenager to care for and how that dynamic is going to be SO DIFFERENT#than that same bruce with a 9 year old Dick. like the circumstances are so different and hes never bat-dopted a kid before this
NO BECAUSE YOU GET IT. YOU GET IIIIT! I fucking love older brother danny, however the biggest appeal of the "eldest son danny" idea is in fact how he and bruce's relationship would have to play out in order for that to happen. You could argue that Danny could be an 'older brother figure' to the Robins and still not have any familial affiliation with Batman, but the fact of the matter is, simply? I want that familial affiliation with Bruce. I want to see how that would play out, and how it would develop.
I am. a scientist prodding a little glass stirring rod at the potential family dynamic of Bruce Wayne and Danny Fenton and going, in complete wonderment and awe, "wow. fascinating. how does that work? how did you happen? what made you? how can i do it again?"
I also think there could be something fascinating over the fact that Bruce Wayne watched his parents die in front of him, while Danny's parents don't even know Danny died at all. A (once) child with dead parents, and a dead child with living parents. I think there's something to be explored there, I just haven't yet figured out what.
And yeah! a teen is completely different than an 8 year old. They're in very different developmental stages in their life, and that's not even addressing their lifestyle differences. When I made this prompt I mentally kinda just placed the death of danny's parents as having happened a few months ago. To me, it feels like enough time for Vlad's temperament to escalate from bad to worse, and for him to actually cook up that blood blossom toxin.
Danny's at a different mourning period compared to Dick, who was brought in while it wasn't even a day old. Maybe Danny hasn't had much time to mourn his family as much as he's wanted because he's been stuck in survival mode living with Vlad, and once he feels secure with Bruce he can finally tap into that grief he's been keeping on the backburner.
Lots of things to explore that can adjusted and changed as needed! Very flexible.
All in all though, I am a sucker for found family and in order for Danny to have family in Dick and the others, he needs to find it with Bruce.
#and this one has a crazy demon murder godfather and poison blood and a history of punching otherworldly apocalypse-creatures#into another dimension. no parenting book will help.
no notes here other than yeah, agreed, wheeze. The good news is that he doesn't need to be completely afraid that those otherworldly potential-apocalypse kickstarters will show up at any random point, Because, imo, Danny shut down and destroyed the portal before he could be shipped off in order to prevent anyway (cough-the GIW-cough) from accessing it. Vlad's the only one with a working portal currently and he's not as careless as the fentons are as to keep it open willy-nilly.
now the only thing he needs to worry about is the crazy demon godfather and the flora-boros blood toxin in his son's veins! whoo.
#and like yeah danny will want to help gotham and save people#but honestly? with his new limitations and no expectations from a previous robin do you think he would do it the same way?
I love this question! because honestly when I was initially expanding on this idea on my own, my initial answer was "no" due to the toxin's limitations. I had the same idea as you where Danny takes on a more 'oracle' role where he's not out in the field, but he's still helping behind the scenes. I was torn between "logically would this happen" as well as "chronically ill people aren't delicate flowers, they can do things" and a little dash of "okay but i really want nightingale out in the field"
In the end I decided that I liked the idea of Danny actually out with Bruce, and that as a result there would need to appropriate consequences and drawbacks for this decision.
#idk guys he fights ghosts because no one else can#i think he'd probably play a much more supportive role. at least at first. << you're totally right, too. And Danny's motivations for wanting to help in Gotham would have to be different than in Amity Park. Oooo this has good character growth potential.
Danny helps Amity Park out of a sense of obligation right? Like obviously it's also because he's a good person, but ultimately it kinda comes across as an obligation. He's the only one who can, so he's the one to do it, despite the fact that throughout the show he's shown to want that normal life. There's guilt there if he doesn't do anything; he has the power to stop this, so why shouldn't he?
(Oo, doesn't that sound kinda familiar? Guilt over something he ultimately has no control over, but thinks he could have?)
So! For him to choose to decide to rejoin the hero life, and not just from behind the curtain, feels like a pretty big character decision to me. Especially because now, he doesn't really have the power to help. Not like he did before.
He's sickly, essentially powerless because using his powers speeds up the toxin, and equipped only with his wits, his creativity, and whatever fighting skills he may have acquired during his time as Phantom -- and whatever martial arts prowess the author decides to have Maddie pass down to Danny.
He's not doing this because he feels like he has to, but because he wants to. I think that's pretty cool.
You reminded me that ideas can be combined too! It's dealers choice for anyone who wants to throw their hat into the ring in how Danny decides to join the frontline fight.
I'm going to kinda contradict myself here but one of my ideas for Danny going from behind-the-scenes to in-your-face-scenes is just. Batman needing backup for a fight. I'm not going to go into specifics for who he's facing, because frankly i'm not sure myself, but he needs backup.
And Danny, who likes to sit in the cave more often than not, waiting for Bruce to come back, sees this through whatever cameras are available. He's stressed out, worried for Batman's safety. This could be a good catalyst for the overarching subplot of him rejoining the hero scene as well as hey, maybe realizing that he doesn't need his powers to help people.
Danny's warring with himself about what to do. Trying to soothe his anxieties by reminding himself that Bruce is an incredible fighter and good at getting out of tight spots, telling himself it would be fine. Rebuffing the little voice in his mind saying he should help by telling it that he might make things worse. And when his subconscious tries to tell him that he can help, he rebuffs it by saying does he need to?
And there, right there, is what's been playing on repeat for however long it takes for him to become nightingale. Every night: "I can help, but do I need to?" and during this night is when he has an epiphany; "No, but I want to."
it's like the sun peaking through the clouds after weeks of gray skies. He wants to help. He can help, but not because he should or because he's able to, although that is important, but because he wants to.
So he finds where Bruce hides the face paint, smears what he think is an adequate amount on his face -- it looks almost mask like. And hunts down one of the spare utility belts -- he ends up having to wrap it around his shoulder and torso like a bandolier due to how tall Bruce is and how willowy Danny is. he already has a hoodie on, and pulls it up over his head. And fuck it, i'm calling down the Rule of Cool Law. Danny finds one of Bruce's spare capes and tears it up to make a makeshift scarf to better hide his face. He gets some other tools he needs that he knows Bruce uses, and then he's off.
(Bruce is both very shocked and very upset when Danny comes crashing through the ceiling with a faux-confident; "Hiyo, B! You're looking pretty bat-tered, so I thought I'd come in and give a helping claw!")
(Results in what I think is a very funny post-fight conversation where they have something of a hissed argument in front of the half-conscious criminals. "what are you doing here?!" "i wanted to help!" "where'd you learn to fight like this?" "mom taught me" -> which causes a fucking BUZZ in the criminal underground when word gets out.)
there's conflict. argument over bruce not wanting danny to come out to help him. Until danny eventually wins out in the end by pulling up footage of phantom on the batcomputer, revealing his previous hero status, and pure damn stubbornness. Bruce agrees but only after he updates Danny's self-defense and gets him a proper suit.
#alfred cant handle TWO wet rats getting beat up every night lol
singling this out because it's funny and you're rIGHT.
#danny innovating new and better bat gadgets. making good humanitarian use of the wayne money in ways that would make sam proud. #making sure alfred isnt the only thing standing between bruce and bruce's death at the hands of the city he loves
Danny's bambi eyes are lethal work, and Alfred's favorite employ whenever Bruce is being stubborn. Even after rejoining the active hero scene, Danny will still team up with Alfred to drag Bruce to bed or rest. Excuse you, don't make the same mistakes he did! He's the elder hero here!
Danny churns out so many anti-ghost gadgets for Bruce for the inevitable confrontation with Vlad, along with non-ecto gadgets just because he wants him safe. It becomes an unusual bonding experience for the both of them to come up with gadget ideas together and then figuring out how to make it work, and then building them together.
Vigilante equivalent of helping dad in the garage except you're both fixing the car and telling the other to grab them the 3/5th quarter-inch flathead screwdriver from the toolbox.
Danny is delighted to have someone to bounce ideas off of with, as does Bruce.
For the good old "fights are one of the ways ghosts socialize" trope: They have regular training sessions, but it's Danny who asks if they could sometimes just have some for-fun sparring sessions. Then has to very embarrassedly explain to Bruce that it's just something ghosts do with each other to socialize sometimes.
Bruce reads between the lines and sees it for what it is: play fighting. Danny's asking to play fight. There are no parenting books on taking care of a half-ghost teen, but he immediately thinks on a documentary on lions he saw a while ago and agrees.
These play fights more often than not result in Danny being tossed around like a ragdoll and loving it -- he's light as feathers and being thrown up into the air feels like he's flying again. Something he can't do anymore for obvious reasons. Plus the ghostly bonding thing.
I don't have much to add about the humanitarian use of wayne money thing, i agree. It also makes Bruce proud and could help inspire him to start getting more involved with Wayne Industries so he can start using his parents' company for humanitarian use as well.
#MAN imagine the fluff of danny learning to decipher bat grunts#if anyone has experience seeing past the crazy obsessive seemingly single minded focus of a parental figure and to the real love and care#that exists so deeply and truly under and throughout it all it'll be danny
aaaaaa, man you're so right. i was talking to crow about this but, for context, the idea was that Nightingale has a tendency to sometimes bite his opponents. And it's become something almost like a signature surprise move because he has Ghost Fangs, but the first time this happens its during some kind of gang fight between B, Gale, and a handful of goons.
However, the fight halts to surprised stop when one of the guys shrieks out; "OW, HE BIT ME!" and like a spell, everyone turns, flabbergasted, towards the guy who said it. Because what the fuck did you mean he bit you, wHY IS HE BITING.
And there, hanging off the guy's arm with all the smug self-satisfaction of a cat, is Nightingale, with his fangs still chomped down onto the guy's arm. There's a few seconds of silence, long enough for everyone to see what's going on, before Gale reorients his momentum and kicks the guy square in the jaw; knocking him out cold.
The thing that catches everyone's attention is that Nightingale drew blood. They watch, half-terrified, half-baffled, as the kid scrunches his nose up, wipes at his mouth, and makes a noise of disgust. He turns to look at Batman, who has also stopped what he's doing to stare as well.
Nightingale asks him; "Am I gonna have to get checked for this?"
Rather than deign him with a response, Batman remains silent. They stare at each other for three whole seconds, before Nightingale clicks his tongue like Batman had said something he didn't like, but expected.
"Aw, okay." Then without missing a beat, he turns and launches himself like a feral cat at the closest person next to him, and the room descends back into chaos once more.
Man, I'm just imagining them working next to each other on their own personal project, and Danny will quietly ask for Bruce's opinion on something. Bruce gives him a single grunt, and Danny's silent for a moment, contemplative, before muttering something like "huh, i guess you're right" or "oh, good idea."
Danny eventually adopts Bruce's little "hrm" quirk himself, and it slowly goes from: "hey, what do you think about this?" "hrm" "that's what I thought too" to: "..hmn?" "hm."
The ever consistent urge to make Your Blorbo The Most Specialist Character On The Block Ever is forever a plague of mine, and I'm very tempted to say that Danny is the only other kid except Cass who can do the "hm?" "hn" thing back to back with Bruce. Don't get me wrong, the other batkids can do the "Hey X thing" "hm" "okay" thing, and on some level can do the "hm" "hm" thing too, but they can't do it quite to the same extent as Danny can, and its from those years where it was just the two of them.
but yess!! I agree! Danny's got experience with that kind of obsessiveness, Bruce reminds him a lot of his parents that way and he understands it the best out of all his siblings as a result. It also means, however, that he willingly goes in to drag Bruce out of whatever obsessive rabbit hole he's fallen into, if he feels that Bruce has been too hyperfocused on something. He saw it with his parents, and it ended up killing them. He's not losing another dad because of his foolish tunnel vision.
#bruce is so much quieter than his parents but man if danny doesnt understand him. and maybe bruce comes to learn what dannys used to as well#comes to learn to speak his affection and open up so much more. to make danny feel more comfortable and welcome
AGAIN, NO NOTES. This is perfect and yes. I've got nothing to add.. okay I lied, i just needed a moment to think. Bruce isn't the most physically affectionate person, but he starts to be thanks to Danny, who is very tactile. Same thing with verbal praise, Danny hardly got any of it in school or, regretfully, at home since Jazz tended to get all the praise.
Bruce tells him "good eye" once after Danny spotted something before Bruce did, and Danny preened so brightly Bruce genuinely wondered if stars were going to appear over his head. He'd gotten his hands on video footage about Phantom that had shown him doing that exact same thing.
(oh which reminds me. The moment Danny tells Bruce about his previous hero experience as Phantom, Bruce goes on a research helldive to get his hands on everything about it. He's watched every single video showing Phantom. There were very few videos of Phantom that weren't videos of his fights, which were horrifying to watch on multiple levels.
Including but not limited to the fact that ghosts could apparently survive the most lethal of injuries, and he was never going to get the image of Phantom yanking a steel pipe out of his chest out of his head, or him pulling out a broken chunk of glass from his throat.)
(It was even worse seeing videos of Danny's parents shooting at him. That was a long, uncomfortable conversation.)
Another time Bruce is asking Danny about being a ghost, and Danny wistfully tells him that the thing he misses most is flying. Grappling through the city is the closest thing to it, but it's still fundamentally different -- and in some ways more exciting -- than flying. The closest comparison he could give is an indoor skydiving ring.
Bruce, a week later, rents out an indoor skydiving ring for the day and Danny spends hours inside the wind tunnel. He tells Bruce all about the similarities and differences in the car on the drive home, and then tells him that next time Bruce should try it too.
Just, all-in-all, seeing how these two interact and impact each other is what makes this so appealing to me. Especially with early years Batman. And I had so much fun typing all this out, thanks for the opportunity to infodump haha.
#UGH OP THIS POST TT-TT
AH YOUR TAGS <33
I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#fr tho. anyone reading this should look up the Battinson Wayne Manor if they don't know what it looks like. It is SO goth and i love it#its gorgeous imo#i was looking up battinson movie clip compilations last night and my favorite fucking line from him is and will always be#[“we just got you on assaulting an officer!”] “you got me on assaulting three" LIKE YOU SASSY MFER. THATS HILARIOUS DUDE#batman being a troll is my favorite thing ever and ever and eVER. im adding these tags as i go along can you tell#found family doesn't need labels but in this case im putting them on there.#flora-boros is a play on of the word 'flora' and 'ouroboros'. eyy. get it? flora because. well. the blood blossom is a flower and ouroboros#cuz the ouroboros is the self-regenerating snake eating its own tail for all of eternity. ectoplasm is the tail and the flower is the head#personally i really like the idea that danny's got some proficient martial arts skills thanks to his mom. skill may vary.#but if i were to apply it to BB. danny can hold his own pretty well but he's not anywhere near batman's level. he's creative tho.#wow this took me a long time to reply to. somehow?? danny gets a scarf because that's the design i gave nightingale and i think it fucks#this reminds me. danny purrs and has other minor ghostly stuff he does instinctively in his human form. that kinda fucks him over because#it activates or disturbs the ectoplasm in his blood. which in turn disturbs the toxin. it won't make him severely sick. things like#coughing fits are common. but so is nausea. hot flashes. fatigue. chronic pain. sometimes vomiting. the whole ugly nine yards.#smth smth there's an appeal to the tragedy between the man who never fully grew up cause of his parents' death. and the kid who#never got the chance to after his parents caused his death.#throwaway idea: after bruce is told about Danny's accident and subsequent death he later goes out and silently makes Danny a grave#he doesnt think it's fair that danny never got one. its simple and subtle bc he doesn't really wanna bring it up with danny.#im trying to think of what it would look like and. throwaway design but it's a stone tree stump where instead of just plain rings there's a#star chart carved into the flat part. it looks like just a kinda dramatic statue but behind it Bruce has a small plaque and Danny's epitaph#on it. its in the only part of the garden that's not overgrown and bruce plants flowers around it. he thinks it could work as an adequate#substitute until Danny can get a proper headstone. It's danny's favorite spot in the whole garden and he doesn't get why. he thinks its#the star chart. bruce has found danny fast asleep beside the stone tree; using the flat part as a head rest; more times than he can count#mmmm i think thats everything i've got in my head for now.
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imhereonthekitchenfloor · 10 months ago
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Everytime I go skating: this is hard mentally but physically there's 0 friction so it's easy
Me everytime I finish skating: why are my legs SO tired? These stairs feel impossible to climb. I am starving!!! Wonder why
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idyllic-affections · 2 years ago
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this is a random thought i had but i cannot possibly fathom why a tumblr writer WOULDNT want essays written in the tags of their content? bro please... you guys please... please write whole ass ESSAYS when you reblog my fics, i love any kind of interaction but that kind specifically gives me many happy chemicals all at once!
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wildlife4life · 1 year ago
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Fuck-It Friday
Tagged by the super amazing @daffi-990, @diazsdimples, @theotherbuckley, @disasterbuckdiaz @devirnis @fortheloveofbuddie and @wikiangela. Thank you and I'm excited for all your upcoming works!
I know what the people want, so here is another snippet from NFL Buck featuring more of Buck's perspective. (All things NFL Buck can be found here.)
Ali gave him one last tight hug, "You did good Buckley. Shook all the right hands, stayed away from the corporate sharks, and the press absolutely loved you." She praised. Buck felt warm all over and gave her a soft, grateful smile, "We both know I only survived this evening because of you. I can't thank you enough Ali really." His agent's eyes misted over and she smiled in return, "Maybe so Evan," He scrunched his nose and Ali rolled her eyes, "Sorry...Buck. You still haven't told me how you got that chicken sounding nickname and why only like four other people besides me call you it." They both chuckled, but quickly sober. She gives his right bicep a gentle squeeze, "I'm only here because of you. Because you took a chance on a no name, client-less, newbie sports agent who was brought to you by your secret boyfriend after he patched her up following an astronomically awful rage quit that put her asshat of a boss in the hospital." "He tried forcing himself on you. It was self defense and a faulty balcony railing." Buck reminded with a smirk. The petite brunette winks, "And thats the story I'm still sticking to." She waved her hand around brushing away the past, "The point is, were here because of your hard work, sacrifice and enormous heart. I'm just making sure no one takes advantage of it all. Accept your share of the credit and celebrate being the 9th pick in the first round of the 2013 NFL draft. Celebrate being the Houston Texan's newest quarterback! Whoo!" She shouts in elation. Buck laughs boisterously and cheers right along with her, at a lower volume level and with less energy. He was happy really. The dream he's had since he was six was becoming a reality. All the practicing, studying, workouts, and personal sacrifice had finally paid off. Ali was one of numerous people who got him to this point and he was glad he at least had her at his side tonight, but Buck really wished the three most important people in his life were with him too. Maddie sent an email from her work account congratulating him, but Buck hadn't seen or physically heard from the woman who basically raised him since he left for college. Eddie couldn't get the time off and neither of them felt comfortable bringing a soon to be five year old Christopher to New York. Kid was still getting the hang of his new crutches and finding adequate childcare for him that didn't involve Eddie's parents was impossible. Buck really missed his Diaz boys (and his sister, but that was an ache he was accustomed to). He wanted to see Christopher's blinding joy when Evan's name was called, even though he wouldn't quite understand what it entailed. He wanted Eddie to wrap him up in the tightest hug while shouting his excitement too close to Buck's ear before kissing him stupid and shoving him towards the stage. Buck wanted to be out and open and proud with his partner and son, but the world his football dreams are apart of, wouldn't accept it and that tight ache in Buck's chest will have to stay.
A bit angsty today, but I want ya'll to see these milestones of a professional players road to the NFL. It takes so much hard work and sacrifice to make it to the NFL, and for Buck that includes the personal sacrifice to stay closeted and keep his same sex relationship a secret. A lifelong dream like that is worth it to him, to many professional athletes. I hope you all enjoyed!
Tagging (no pressure): @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @lover-of-mine @jesuisici33 @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @rainbow-nerdss @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @eddiescowboy @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @cal-daisies-and-briars @transboybuckley
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theanonymousninja247 · 1 month ago
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My reaction to this comic. I literally waited ALL day to come home from work to take this picture because this was just too real and raw for me not to be real myself to show how much it shook me
so face reveal sorta?
I can’t tell you how much closure I’ve received watching this 😪🙏🏼🫶🏼🧡
✨Note to self: Isolation is not the answer✨
This ended up way longer than I originally anticipated but I have no regrets, I also got carried away in one too many shots and regret none of it
Enjoy!
part1 | part2 | part3 | part 4 context: 1 / 2/ 3 / 4
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After calming down the two of them just sit down and talk about it, Oneion explains everything more calmly, all the messures his brothers have taken to prevent him going into Survival Mode along with the ways they've find out to snap him out or fully stop him
(From then on Sprout has a high voltage taser intalled on his prostethic, just in case)
This is pretty much it on my part for the whole OneOne-Toast fight aftermath situation! Ell did a thing with One and Poptart too!
I also have some more Sprout and Oneion doodles, they are not connected to this event but I might post them over the weekend
#*cracks knuckles*#time to get feral in the tags again because I have something’s to SAY#first things first#*clears throat* words will never be adequate enough to accept my true feelings in this matter so please accept my humble keyboard smash#heycbelxheudkchwuegfkcisvwmwifufiepbsgxnsvdhsjfhrvwidmchdushevwosichnrbsufndg#But on a more serious note#this was such a good and hard video to watch#for school I’m studying human development and relationships and one big thing we talk about is the power of attachment styles#You know you can actually tell which people have which attachment styles through the type of humor they use fun fact.#But that’s besides the point. The point is Oneion is showing strong symptoms of Avoidant Attachment Style#he says he’s trying to protect Sprout and Poptart which I 100% believe he is but he’s also trying to protect himself from hurt + heartbreak#Motto of the Avoidant Attatchment Style: I’ll hurt you first before you hurt me#Poptart over here leading out the charge and calling out Oneion for his unhealthy isolation is literally everything to me EVERYTHING#BECAUSE THATS HOW YOU SECURE RELATIONSHIPS: THROUGH CONNECTION#Doesn’t matter who you are#nobody is ever meant to do it all by ourselves. We are PEOPLE AKA multiple for a reason. We need each other#As someone who is been in recovery from unhealthy attachment styles for something + years this comic was very cathartic for me#because Poptart and Oneion conversation is LITERALLY two of my brain cells at war with each every. single. day. It’s…exhausting#So it meant the world to me to see closure like this because it kind of gave me hope for myself that hey maybe I can figure it out too#hope it’s ok that like I got emotionally attached to y’all’s characters.#But like…I can’t tell y’all how much I have healed being apart of the turtle family because y’all have taught me so much + I 🧡 U 4 it#just being jayus#serendipity247#slau crossover#2al#the besties#separated leo au#pretty random turtle thunks#doing this ugly and scared
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paradoxbeta · 1 month ago
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12 and 19
Your art style is fire, I need to know the secrets of your "meschanicesh/blockish/shape-ish" (idk how to describe it???) artstyle
thank you very much, thats nice to hear! im going to do these questions out of order though because the first one will take a bit longer to talk through
19. where do you find inspiration?
many places! sometimes i take pictures of cars with face-like headlight designs or normal objects that look like they could be creatures if i worked at them. if anything in the open catches my eye ill snap a picture of it. traveling and seeing new kinds of architecture is usually really good for my creative juices too so i like to look around a lot whenever i go somewhere out of the ordinary. a lot of the pictures that inspire me can be found in my #alien insp tag as well, even though thats to help me worldbuild my stellaris-fic-turned-spec-bio(?) thing its also usually filled with arrangements of shapes and colors that tickled my brain and that i hope to replicate the feeling of. i also take a lot of inspiration from how music makes me feel. more often than not though its just a random lightning bolt idea or a recycling of an old concept
12. describe your process while drawing
if i wanted to go in full depth this would be a very long response that would go all through how i color and do lighting and decide certain things and what i hope to achieve in character designs as a whole but to give you the answer in short, ill just talk about my sketches and how i use shapes, because i consider those two things the most important parts of my process. first of all my sketches are terrible. oftentimes theyre so vague that if i never make progress on them and then return a week later, i wont understand whats happening.
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i mention this because i feel like i see people get wrapped up in making their sketch look good too often, and to that i say NO! an adequate sketch to me is something you could wipe your ass with! besides it helps me get the idea on paper while focusing on what i know i want to be the important part(s) of the piece.
for shapes:
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yes, part of the reason why this ask took a little while to get to is because i was whipping up this and glass arena (the spikey one) was not cooperating with me and its sort of haphazard i know i know
but the gist of it is that generally what i will do is pick one or a select few dramatic shapes to dominate their design and then focus on accentuating that particular shape. sometimes as im creating a character, what that central shape is will change midway. i will also usually design the head of a character before the body, A, because its more fun, and B, since the head is small and also usually heavily reflective of the central shape, understanding exactly what shape i want makes it easier to make a body that works with/mirrors it (and then possibly make some tweaks to an already established head) instead of trying to figure out the head and body at the same time. i get that is not the ideal way to do it but i am also not a professional and sort of just winging it through everything ive ever done
im also at least somewhat attentive about the curves of lines which is what all of those red lines are for, the blue circles on glass arena and zmeu are to show where the lines concentrate. interestingly enough this sort of focal point usually isnt on the face but instead the neck because what happens most of the time for humanoids is that the (stylized) slopes of the eyebrows to the sides of the nose (or at least the form of a shape that represents this) creates a downwards arrow, which usually works well with an "upwards arrow" on the chest to sort of "pinch" the lines together at the point in between the head and chest. this is exactly what happened for them both, though for zmeu his downwards arrow is just his entire head. i dont usually draw the "focal point" but i see it in my head and try to make adjacent lines feed into it. some characters like am (semi-circle head) dont have one though, but there is still a general trend in the lines, you can see in her headshot i tried to make the lines be "parallel" or to flip/mirror the curvature of her headdress.
again i could go more into depth about my art process if anyone'd be interested in a fuller detailing, but it'd have to be a separate post. thank you for asking though, i like talking about my process!
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actualbird · 1 year ago
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Hi Zak, would you recommend majoring in something you enjoy doing?
I enjoy writing (and beta reading), and plan to major in something like liberal arts or creative writing, but I'm not sure if I should.
I feel like I might get burnt out if I choose to major in one of that, but also, I'm worried about my future job prospects.
I've heard of people who majored in fine arts and end up having to do a job they dislike cuz no money for the work, and idk if it's worth it. :(
~ 📝 (is this taken?)
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hey there notes!anon (will be tagging u as this!!), ty for the ask!!
i'd like to preface everything im going to say with like, this is my Own opinion based on my own experience, and your experiences may differ, so not everything i say may apply to you and your circumstances. im frankly always surprised when i get asks asking for advice on life stuff, because i myself definitely do not have my life together in any way. still, i hope something in my perspective can be useful somehow to you
i personally am not sure/am not knowledgeable about a liberal arts major (because my college didnt have a course like that) but i CAN talk about the effects/benefits/cons of a creative writing major because i myself am a creative writing graduate
and first off, job availability is not as big of a problem for CW graduates as many people think. lots of industries need creative writers. it may not be the industry you expected or originally wanted, but the prospects are definitely there. when i was job hunting, off the top of my head, here were the jobs i applied to (and thus felt somewhat qualified for, with my CW degree): advertising copywriter, SEO writer, english teacher/tutor, writing for print magazines, writing game guides for online websites, writing scripts for games, copyediting, corporate copywriting. and that is very much the tip of the iceberg, because there are a lot of jobs that i overlooked that i couldve qualified for but i wasnt personally interested in.
now on the topic of burnout......i'll be real with you: no matter what you major in in college, burnout will happen if you dont adequately manage yourself.
burnout is not exclusive to creative endeavors, it's an effect of too much work + lack of control (perceived or real) + a whole lot of other factors that are VERY common to experience in college. essentially, college is a CAUTION: BURNOUT PRONE AREA simply due to how it's designed/structured. so no matter what course you choose, it will be a danger. so it's less of picking a course and more of how you protect yourself against burnout that will help you more in the long run
that being said, i got burnt out a TON when i was in college because of my mental illness(TM) and also because i was generally bad at pacing myself and taking care of myself. but what got me through was my sheer dedication to writing.
one thing about college is that i think you should pick something that you like enough that even when you feel like you hate it to the high heavens (because you definitely might, what with how stressful college requirements are), there is still something stronger about your tie to that course that pulls you through
for me, it was personal passion and commitment to writing. writing has always been the one thing i knew i wanted to do since the beginning of time, so no matter how much i hated it on all nighters i was working on my thesis manuscript, i pulled through
essentially, to prevent/survive burnout: manage yourself + pick whatever course you want where the "but" in "oh my god i hate this course, BUT..." is a strong one. if you have no strong ones as of the moment, thats alright. you can build it up as you go along
now on the topic of "working a job they dislike" i will be real with you once more..............this is a more common reality of life than having a job you do like. i am a statistical anomaly in the sense that i generally enjoy my job, but a lot of the time (based on what my irl friends go through with their jobs) you end up with a job you didnt expect you'd get into and dont necessarily enjoy. but....it pays the bills. it pays for you to enjoy the stuff you do when youre not working. and thats a valid way to get through life as well.
life after college, contrary to what people want you to believe, is not 100% taken up by your job. or at least it shouldnt be. or at least you should work to make sure it isnt. this might be, again, because im coming from a privileged perspective of having the time to pursue other things like hobbies and interests in addition to having a job, but if you also have the resources to do so, then definitely do so.
all in all: "would you recommend majoring in something you enjoy doing?" it.....depends. i recommend majoring in something you feel strongly enough about that you will continue to do it even when it's not enjoyable 100% of the time. but dont worry about jobs, because a CW degree is definitely useful in the job market. and dont worry about burnout, because that exists in all courses anyway, not just CW.
that is!!......all i think i have to say about ur q, i think
i hope some part of this can be helpful, notes!anon. and im wishing you the best in your decision!!! :D
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queerspaceprince · 7 months ago
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super long post
i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags
i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.
and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.
Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.
it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?
when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.
there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.
then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.
when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.
anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.
i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.
there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.
anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.
the whole thing about there still being time.
i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.
there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.
im still scared to do anything.
i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.
i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.
it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???
and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.
i think ill start on that again.
while i still have time.
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prof-polaris · 1 year ago
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saffron: ignore the... people i do not have adequate wording for without fuchsia's aid. you're doing everything you can - more than everything, i'm honestly a little worried about how you're holding up too, but---i can't stop you, of course, and at most i would only want you to take some rest anyway.
...point is. these people don't understand the situation; if they did, there's no logical reason they would treat you this way. if they can't even be hecked to do the slightest research - i can't even DO proper research due to the firewall and i still understand, they aren't even doing the basics...
i'm sorry you have to deal with them. if there's anything i can do to support, please let me know.
[photo id: a baby poochyena burrito'd in a night sky blanket]
ah. saffron.
dont worry about my rest. Tag and Flicker are taking turns laying directly on top of me to make sure i can't move.
i see your poochyena hatched! thats very nice :)
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leclercenjoyer · 1 year ago
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tagged by my beloved @ayceeofspades thank u 💖
tagging @wolfiemcwolferson @duquesademiel @river-ocean @gaslybottoms
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
11 (10 under my username and 1 on anon)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
30,363! my goal for the year was to hit 20k total so ive already smashed that
3. What fandoms do you write for?
f1 babyyyyy
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
something borrowed (my first fic which im genuinely quite proud of)
tip of the tongue (literally just pwp)
treat with care (girl brainrot)
no poor substitute (my a/b/o unwellness which was. shockingly well received)
helping hand (esteban hand propaganda)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i WANT TO but i always feel so awkward and i never know what to say 😭 i dont know how to adequately express my emotions so i just end up. never getting around to it and i feel BAD ABOUT IT
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
muscle memory... its like. my singular angsty fic. the ending is nice and hopeful right up until i shatter it with a hammer but it Had to be done. its simply how it is.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
i think all the other ones!! possibly no poor substitute or treat with care because they both end on an "oh this is a New Relationship now" while something borrowed and tip of the tongue are both more like. we were already hooking up but i guess its serious now.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
no and if i ever did i would cry forever
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
almost exclusively jdkjhdkjhs it is my Favored Terrain. i feel like my smut is. emotional and grounded? or at least thats what i hope.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
no, not that im aware!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
non! but i would be delighted if anyone did.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no but i hope to one day!!!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
i have been thinking about pierresteban literally non-stop for the past 14 calendar months i am so fucking sorry to everyone who knows me
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
my singular wip on ao3 is on anon and... i dont know if i'll ever finish it but i hope i will at some point. and as for unpublished wips... i have a lot. i dont know if ill ever get around to finishing most of them.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i have consulted the gang and i have been told that i am good at tying the physical and emotional together (which is something i do Deliberately try to do as much as i can) and that i am very meticulous with what words i choose to use to carry a mood
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
DIALOGUE GOOD GOD. every single bit of dialogue ive ever written has been like pulling teeth. the thing is i dont know how to talk like a human person and i dont know how human people talk so it is my worst nightmare. one of my eternal wips is one i started and got like 3k words into before realizing that the dialogue would have to do the heavy lifting for the rest of the fic and then i was like "oh god damn it im an idiot arent i". also sentence structure that isnt subject-verb-object. but im kind of leaning into it tbh.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
my honest to be honest opinion is just. write the dialogue in english and if you NEED to specify what language the character is speaking just be like "he says in [language]" UNLESS the pov character doesnt understand what theyre saying. literally simple as that.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
f1 baby!!! this is literally the first fandom that has broken through the barrier in my brain thats kept me from writing fic my entire life. not even amc's the terror 2018 could do that.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
honestly? something borrowed. it was the first fic i ever completed literally in my life and i have such a soft spot for it and people were so UNBELIEVABLY nice to me about it!!!!
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24-hours · 2 years ago
Note
Fictive and Factive are not system terms. Endos did try to claim the term, it is not a system term.
Systems use introjects.
Fictive originated from Soul Bounding, a cultural tradition thats been used for supposed decades. Soul Bounding stems from the Jains Religion I believe, essentially it means that there are two people who’s souls are bound and never to be unwoven. Meaning that souls of two or more people are bound together on a level unfit for earthly purposes, more on a godly or spiritual level.
However, the term was used on the internet for the first time in 2002. Fictive was then picked up by a system in around 2007(?) and was used in small amounts throughout 2007-2016 interchangably with introject. 2017 roles around and endo systems start popping up. (icky) They see fictive being used and adpt the term, making it one of the main terms they use in an attempt to be a system. Endo systems were in small amounts untill 2020 pops up and a pike rushes. The term fictive is now more common to see then introject. The spike of endos and people using fictive begans to increase from 2020-2022 and the soul bounding community finds they cannot use the term because people assume its a system or endo thing. So stop using these terms !!
Hi anon, thanks for the information, but we mirror the words used in the asks, because typically when someone refers to themselves as something it's because it's the term they use and are comfortable with. This is just a little help blog, it'd be actively harmful to our "business" to ignore the fact that people will use the terms that they like for themselves. Intentionally choosing to call them something we deem better or more correct would just make us pricks.
Now when it comes to my general tagging I use fictive/factive because those are the widely used terms, I had a vague idea of what they originated as, but it's a simple fact of life that words will change in their meaning over time for better and for worse. I personally would not feel comfortable plastering over fictives/factives sending in requests with introject tags because I know that if I came to a help blog requesting as someone who is fictionkin only for that mod to label my request/ask as being from a DA I'd feel like shit because that's not the label I identify with. That's not me and though it could've been a mistake it'd still feel bad to be mislabeled in that sense.
So what I'm getting at is we won't use introject if the ask specifically says its from a fictive/factive/etc, we'll keep tagging with what the ask says. If it's unspecified and we don't know if it's a kin, da, irl, etc then we'll still default to kin tags. And on the occasions were the language used might hint towards it being from a system I suppose we could maybe use introject instead of fictive for that tagging.
To be honest, we may leave the change from fictive/factive to introject as the generalized tag for requests from systems up to a poll. We want this blog to be comfortable for all, so getting the communities input on that would be nice. Plus we're just two singlets running this blog for fun, it'd be kind of rude for us to decide what the best way to label systems are on our own...
This is longer than I intended, but I hope you know I get where you're coming from anon, it's just not our place as a singlets to try to dictate how systems chose to refer to themselves even if it's just in the way we tag things on our blog. I really hope this is an adequate response in all the ways it can be. -Best Regards, Mod Boo.
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