#thats a rhetorical question i know exactly why

[memecatwings]

i wanna go to another concert why does nobody come to tampa

[luceeelou]

every time i get to the night before an assignment is due and i am full on bullshitting cause i have no time left, i end up really fucking frustrated with myself. why do i keep doing this to myself??

[defnotciara]

The ultimate shifting guide! (Tips, methods, etc)

Before I actually get into this i just wanted to clarify that everyone’s shifting journey is different and just because something worked for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you too! In order to shifting you kinda have to experiment a bit from what i’ve learnt and done so far.

Keywords:

DR: Desired Reality

CR: Current Reality

WR: Waiting Room

Also, before we start i’m just going to go over what shifting is, if you dont want to read this part feel free to skip this is mainly for the people who are newer to shifting and are looking for a basic rundown before getting into everything else!

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1 • YOU DONT NEED TO USE METHODS OR SCRIPTS!! The methods are there to guide the process for those who The scripts allow you to imagine, organize your DR, and fuel your desire to go to your dr. Another thing is that if you forget to script something chances are is taht your subconscious already remembered it so you don’t really need to worry much about it!

2 • Symptoms are not actually you shifting! It’s actually just your body falling asleep. Although some things like feeling your surroundings change, hearing voices from ur dr, etc do actually count as shifting? (In my opinion) But since symptoms don’t really let you know what you have shifted who’s to say that you haven’t?? Gaslight yourself into believing you have shifted and during this ask like rhetorical questions like “How is shifting so easy for me?” “Why am i so good at shifting” “How am i already in my DR” Doing this will help you distract your brain from that annoying voice thats like “Thats not true, you haven’t shifted yet?”

3 • Shifting is what you believe it is. If you believe that shifting is hard, or easy, or that you can’t shift then you won’t shift 🤷‍♀️ Why do you think people who were introduced to shifting by someone who they personally know shift pretty easily? Thats because they trust in what that person is saying and trusting that shifting is easy and real and that they can shift too if they tried, they aren’t “Lucky” its just that they don’t use apps like tiktok, tumblr, etc; that over complicate shifting because shifting is as easy as setting a intent to wake up in your DR.

4 • “Can i script xyz/Or are there any limitations” You can literally do anything and when i mean anything i mean anything, if you want to be able to fly go fly ! Oh, you want to shift to a cartoon/anime go shift to it. Literally nothing is stopping you from doing whatever you want its called a desired reality for a reason. But, please take into account that even if it is a different reality that doesn’t mean you can’t being back trauma with you to your CR also take into consideration that the people in your DR are just as real and human as you are so keep that in mind when scripting!

4 • “What is a clone?” A clone is basically just you in your CR once you’ve shifted (Unless your asleep while shifting clones shouldn’t really be a problem) Your clone will act exactly like you do and if your worried about them doing something you wouldn’t do you are able to dictate their activities/what they do while you are out partying with your S/O.

5 • “What can i do to make shifting easier?” There are many different resources for you to use on your shifting journey like mind reprogramming I personally recommend listening to “Reprogramming through habits|| Video guide by shifting with reya” (I will link at the very bottom of this post if you are interested!) This video includes a 4 day (Maybe more depending on the person) Mind reprogramming method that allows you to alter your beliefs on shifting, another thing you can try is Gateway tapes, these tapes are made by the Monroe Institution/CIA these tapes use a training system that uses meditation like techniques combined with sound technology to alter the states of consciousness (If you are interested in learning more i can maybe make a post about it another day) You are required to pay for them but some people upload them to youtube, google docs etc; for the people who can’t since they are quite expensive! (I HAVE A GOOGLE DRIVE OF THE SOME OF THEM SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE LINK IF YOU WANTT), there are many more ways to make shifting easier but these are just to name a few.

6 • Meditation, Meditation is so easy and super efficient in helping you shift! If you just take 5 or more minutes out of your day to meditate for a month or two you will definitely notice the difference it makes, not only does it destress you but its helpful for when you are trying to relax during a shifting attempt or just shift while doing it.

7 • Affirmations, affirmations are so incredibly powerful with shifting and manifestation because it’s literally so easy and doesn’t even take long to do! Affirmations are basically just words that you say/think to yourself that help you shift/manifest some affirmations that I personally use during shifting attempts or just during random times of the day just to remind myself that shifting is so easy. “Why is shifting so easy for me?” “I am shifting” “Every breath i take gets me closer to shifting” “Every “failed” shifting attempt just makes me get closer to shifting” Etc, etc, etc.

And thats it for now should i make another part? I feel like this is to short but i really wanted to post it because i felt bad for promising to post it yesterday but i ended up falling asleep while typingg 😭 I hope yall can forgive me loll, but anyways lmk what you think about this and pleasee let me know if theres any misinformation in this so i can fix it!!

Thanks for reading this, i hope you all have an amazing day/nightt !!

[kining-the-evil]

Can i request a James Wilson x f!reader where they’re married and the reader takes the place of House in the episode where he gets shot.

Heartbeat

Summary: Nothing brings a fighting couple together like a life threatening event

Warnings: being shot, arguing between reader and Wilson, angst, house being a bitch, reader is House’s sister

“I really don’t know what you want y/n,” James mumbled through his hands. His desk was a mess, something that always drove you crazy. The entire time you’d known the man you went out of your way to clean it and eventually he got used to it, even poking fun at you when you did. Today would not include that sort of teasing.

“You know exactly what I want, you just don’t want to actually do it.” You argued back. This was the third time James had stayed at the hospital over night, except last night he didn’t stay here. He went to your brothers.

“I- I had work to get done-“

“Thats what you were at Greg’s?” You watched as his face morphed slightly. He knew you’d caught him in his lie.

“He told you?”

“No. I was tired of sleeping in an empty apartment so I went to see my brother. Your car was parked out front.” The silence made the room feel heavy, and your husband was looking everywhere but at you.

“I don’t… i didn’t mean…I was going to come home. But…I just ended up there,” he attempted to explain.

“Thats why you told me you wouldn’t be home before I went home?” He didnt answer, fully aware it was a rhetorical question. “Its nice to know we are no longer in the ‘honeymoon phase.’ How else was I ever going to know when you were going to start trying to make me ex wife number 4?”

“Thats a low blow.”

“No, its a low blow for others. For your wife, its a perfectly reasonable concern!” He finally pushed himself away from his desk to stand up, reacting to how your voice was raising.

“Please just, calm down for a moment.”

“I have been calm! How many times have I defended shit you do? How many times have I forgiven you!” You yelled at him. “You promised you would be better this time!”

James just stared at you. It could have been because he didn’t know what to say, or because you’d never yelled at him like this; but you didn’t really care.

“You know what James, if you want to be like this then you can stay at Greg’s house for a while. I don’t want to see you.”

You didnt wait for an answer this time, simply leaving his office in a huff. Your next stop was your brothers office so you could chew him out.

“Gregory House!” You yelled, throwing the door open. All three of his lackeys turned to look at you while Greg made a face.

“Full name, that cant be good.”

“Why the hell did you not tell me?”

“Tell you what?” you gave him a look, making him sigh. “I assume you just got done yelling at Wilson?”

“I told him he could stay with you for a while, seeing as you didn’t have an issue with it last time.” The other three doctors watched the two argue, unsure of what they should do. It felt wrong to watch, but they didnt want to draw attention to themselves by leaving either.

Before you could continue yelling at him, the door to the office opened and another man walked in.

“Are you Doctor House?”

“No, he is.” Greg pointed at Forman, not looking away from the obvious staring contest happening between the two of you.

“Im an old patient.”

“You can leave the gift basket on my desk-“ he stoped talking, eyes wide, making you turn to see what was happening. You didnt even see the gun before you felt a sharp pain in your neck, and then your abdomen. You felt yourself run into your brother as you stumbled backwards, and he quickly helped you to lay down.

He was talking to you, but the ringing in your ears was to loud to hear him. You brought your hand to your stomach, bringing it up slightly to see your hand covered in blood. You must have been shot.

You let your eyes slid shut for a moment, and when you opened them again you were laying on what felt like a bed and the ceiling was flying by. You caught a glimpse of Cuddy, and you could feel hands on both your neck and stomach. Your breathing was labored, and blood was stating to fill your mouth. You coughed, attempting to expel the liquid, and Cuddy glanced back down at you.

“Your going to be ok y/n.”

You nodded slowly, but the pain in your neck quickly put a stop to it. You let your eyes slip closed again, and when you opened them again a few doctors were surrounding you and you were no longer moving. In the corner of your eye you saw James, and you attempted to say something. Though you weren’t sure what. Instead, a mask was put over your face and the already fuzzy world got even fuzzier.

You attempted to reach out in James’s direction, but your arm felt to heavy. You let your eyes slip closed for a third time, knowing you wouldn’t open them again for a while.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Everything hurt. That was the only though you had as you woke up a bit. Every part of your body was soar, and your head felt like someone had been beating on it with a hammer. After a few moments of laying there, you opened your eyes slightly. Thankfully, the lights in the room were turned down making it slightly more bearable. A glance around the room told you you were alone.

You reached up, feeling around your body a bit. Your neck felt the worse, which made sense since there was multiple bandages and a draining tube sticking pit if the side. Your stomach also had bandages, and there was a small bit of blood on it.

“You look like shit.” You glanced up to see your brother leaning against the doorway.

“Funny,” you groaned. “How bad?”

“You got a bullet lodged in your neck and abdomen. They removed them, but you lost a lot of blood and you flatlined for two minutes.” You listened, calculating what that would mean. Two minutes without air could cause brain damage.

“He was trying to shoot me.” You glanced back at your brothers face, seeing an emotion that was rare for him. Guilt. “He had an std after cheating on his wife and I had to tell her. She ended up killing herself; he wanted to kill me. You got in the way.”

You weren’t sure what to say. One thing the two of you didnt have a lot of practice with was sharing emotional moments together. No mater what the emotion was. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know.”

It was silent for a few minutes after that. Neither of you really knowing where to go from there. “Where’s James?”

He smirked lightly at your question. “He snuck off to see his mistress, he’ll be so disappointed that you pulled through.”

“Im not in the mood Greg.”

“Relax. He should be back any second.” He leaned back to glance down the hall. “Speak of the devil.”

James pushed past his friend, slightly out of breath. “Is she ok-“ he stoped when he saw you awake. “Thank god.” He mumbled, a smile in his face.

“Hi,” you whispered, a smile of your own on your face.

“I’ll give you some space, but don’t go to crazy.” You couldn’t help but role your eyes at your brothers sarcasm, but he did leave the two of you alone.

“Im sorry.”

The words were out of his mouth before you even had a chance to think about saying something to him.

“What?”

He walked over, sitting in the chair next to your bed. He reached out taking a hold of your hand, careful of the iv in it. “I have been, awful the past few weeks. My own insecurities got the best of me, and because of that you’ve suffered. When Cameron got me, I immediately thought, ‘what if I lose her?’ When they told me you flatlined-“ he cut himself off with a shaky breath. You let go of his hand, reaching up to touch his face; whipping away a tear. “When they told me that, all I could think about was that the last moment I would have spent with you was arguing. Not say I love you, not seeing you smile; that last time I would have seen you was with you glaring at me.”

“James,” you whispered to the man. “I’m ok.”

“I know, but what if you weren’t?” He had tears running down his face, which told you just how upset he was. James took after your brother, his emotions being just as hard to read at times.

“Im sorry for yelling,” you apologized. “I’m just scared to be another one of your ex wife’s.”

“I messed up my other relationships, Im not doing it again.” He assured you. “And I will do anything to show you.”

“I just want honesty. Dont hide, or go running to my brother. Talk to me.”

“I will.” He promised, letting his head lean into your hand as he rubbed light circles in your wrist. He leaned down, intending to kiss you but you turned your head away.

“I can not possibly look kissable right now.”

“You Look beautiful.” He tried, but you shook your head.

“I have a tube in my neck draining a mix of blood and puss. I can promise you that’s not attractive.” He just smiled at your words, shaking his head.

“You could throw up blood on me and id still kiss you.”

“Liar.” He laughed at the look you have him to accompany the word.

“Ok, ok, that may be an exaggeration. But I still want a kiss.” That time you let him lean down and connect your lips. It wasn’t long, but it left the promise of more later.

“Oh come on, you can do more then that.” James exhaled on your face, making you chuckle as Greg walked in. “If you go a little further then I get $100 from Forman.”

“You could always not make bets on our person life,” James offered.

“But what’s the fun in that?” He pushed a few buttons on your iv, making your frown.

“What Are You Doing?”

“Uping your Morphine, dont tell cuddy.” He Held a finger up in a shushing motion.

“God, I love you,” you smiled. If you were going to be shot, you might as well feel good for the night.

“Now that you’ve done your little crying make up thing, you should go shower.” James started to argue, but Greg just cut him off. “You haven’t moved to two days. How am I going to make the $100 of you stink?”

“Ill be fine,” you assured your husband. He didnt say anything, but nodded and stood up. He placed a small kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. Greg watched him walk away before look back at you.

“Thank god you made up, he is the worst roommate.”

“Shut up before I throw something at you.”

[arcaneauthor]

I love your writing so much, if it wouldn't be too much trouble could do you something where Ghost and the reader get tattoos together

(kinda like the story where the 2 got tattoos for each other without the other knowing but this time they decide to get one together?)

If not thats 100% okay and I hope you have an Amazing day!

Warnings: None? Needles I guess? But it’s not described. Fluffffff

A/n: Sorry this took so long, my motivation has been 📉 lately. But thank you so much for the kind words and amazing request❤️ Hope you like it! Also this is technically a part 3 to my other story but can be read as a standalone.

-$-

“Would you get another one?” He asks suddenly one day as their sitting at the table, a deck of cards in hand.

Yes you know having poker be your date night activity is strange, but your relationship wasn’t exactly anyones definition of “normal” to begin with. But it was your normal. So, yes, sitting at the table on a Friday night with a group of playing cards in one hand and a take out taco in the other was your definition of a good time, sue you.

You look up from your deck at his question, he still hadn’t looked up from his, “What?”

“A tattoo. Would you ever get another one?” He questions, leaning back in his seat, eyes finally connecting to yours.

“I-I mean I’m not- opposed to the idea, if I found the right one.” You’re still not sure of the meaning of this. The question was so sudden

He hums, nodding his head. Eyes gazing back down at his cards, as if they held all the answers.

You raise an eyebrow, “why?” You drawl out.

He shrugs,“Curious.” Is all you get as response before he stands up, throwing his deck down on the table, “I win.” He proclaims in in a baritone voice, then promptly turns to step out of the room. Your eyes following him in total confusion.

They then flick down to his discarded hand.

A royal flush.

That bastard.

Shaking your head slightly, you can’t help but let a fond smirk overtake your face as your ears catch onto the sound of water pittering against the shower floor.

Your boyfriend, the man of many words.

-$-

About a week later.

“Are we there yet?”

Simon sighs in annoyance, the hand not on the steering wheel rubbing his temple, “You’re not bloody five years old, stop asking me that.”

You give him a pouty lip just for show,”But we’ve been driving forever.”

“Twenty minutes. We’ve drove for twenty minutes.”

That short?… really?

“Well how the heck am I supposed to know that, I can’t d*mn well watch the clock now can I?” You question rhetorically as you lightly tug on the blindfold secured around your eyes for emphasis.

He lightly swats your hand away,”Don’t touch it.”

You huff indignantly, but do lower your hand,”Can you at least tell me where we’re going?”

“No.”

“Oh come on.”

Simon huffs, that seems to be a reoccurring thing for him the last twenty minutes, “Impatient little thing.”

You could’ve swore you heard some fondness in that sentence.

-$-

Around, what you assume to be, ten minutes later, you feel Ghost’s truck gently pull to a stop. Slightly jostling the both of you as you hear the gear shift click into park.

You sit up in your seat,”Are we there?”

“Yes.”

“Oh thank gosh. Can I please take this off now?” You point towards the blind fold,”I don’t know how you wear that mask 24/7, this thing is killer.”

“It’s not that bad.” You can hear his seatbelt click and the sound of his old Ford door creaking open.

“Wait! Can I take this thing off or not?”

“Almost.” The truck shifts as he steps out. Giving a slight rock at the absence of Simon’s massive body weight.

The door shutting cuts off any response you had. For a short split second you think he’s left you, until he opens your door. Ever the gentleman.

You unbuckle and twist around, legs hanging out the door. Now how are you going to do this blind? You try wiggling your foot around, but can’t feel anything but air.

“Uh- could you like guide me to-“

You cut yourself off with a squeal as, without a word, you’re swept out of your seat. Simon picking you up in a bridal carry, one hand under your thighs, the other around your back, as you rap your hands around his neck in a panic.

“Simon-!”

“Every girl wants to be treated like a princess at least once, don’t they?” You can physically hear his smirk.

It’s embarrassing how much that made your heart flutter.

“You could at least warn me first!”

“Then I wouldn’t get to hear that cute little squeak.” He gives a deep chuckle

You’d never admit to the extent of redness that your cheeks turned to.

You’d also never admit how much you like the feeling of his large hands gripping tightly to the bare skin of your thighs. The gentle scrape of his calisced fingers being almost therapeutic. For such a large man, his hold is surprisingly gentle, always is when he’s touching you. Never wanting to bring you any semblance of pain.

Even after all this time, his touch never fails to raise your skin into goosebumps.

“Alright,” his words bring you back from your touch induced daze,”We’re here.” He sets you back onto your feet, your hands lingering around his neck a little longer than necessary.

“Allow me.” You feel his hands reach around the back of your head, fiddling with the knot.

The blindfold slips loose easily underneath his skilled fingers.

Your eyelashes flutter open now that the obscurity is out of the way. Though you’re forced to immediately scrunch them back closed as the light floods your corneas, leaving colorful spots dancing across the back of your eyelids. It’s only after a few tries that you can actually see anything then just a bright white. Vision finally clearing, you take in your surroundings, particularly the building with a big neon sign atop it.

It’s-

It’s-

The tattoo parlor?

You flick your curious eyes from the sign to Ghost. His face, the upper half that’s not obscured by the black surgical mask, almost looks, dare you say, nervous. Well, maybe not fully nervous, but, slightly unsure of himself?

“Wha-what are we doing here exactly?”

“Well-uh- I thought that, maybe we could get tattoos?”

“But-we already have tattoos?” He made the big deal of blindfolding you, and hauling your a** out of the car to,,get more tattoos. You’d accompanied him to this place multiple times, what’s different now?

“I meant like, together?”

It takes your brain an embarrassingly long time to catch on, your period of silence making Simon’s hesitation only grow.

“Ohhhhh, you mean like-like a couples tattoo.” You feel your smile start to grow as you grab his arm, pulling on it in excitement like a kid in a candy store.

Ghost’s hesitation seems to all but disappear in the face of your happiness, his eyes softening as he observed your childish antics.

“Yeah.” He finally responds breathily, before he remembers something,”I’ve gotta’ picture of the stencils if you wanna-“ He reaches towards his back pocket, though your hand over his stops him. He look up into your eyes, which are shining with love and joy.

“I’m sure whatever you have in mind is perfect.” You lean up on your tiptoes to give him a sweet peck on the cheek,”Thank you.”

You could’ve swore you saw his cheeks turn a little pink, though he doesn’t let you observe him for long before he’s clearing his throat, turning his face away.

He offers his hand to you in invitation,”Ready?”

You smile, placing your hand in his,”Yep!”

-$-

You both take turns since Ghost refuses to use any of the other artists besides Jackson. And refuses to let you use anyone else. Says he trusts him the most, with his whole identity thing and to not hurt you.

Simon won’t even let you in the room during his session, saying that he wants to reveal it after they’re both finished. He sits by your side during your tattooing, holding your hand and making sure you don’t look before it’s finished. Even rubs his hand over your arm when you wince, whispering a little “You got this princess” in your ear.

Jackson wipes the remaining ink residue from your lower arm,”Alright, looks like we’re finished!” He begins cleaning up his tools.

You and Simon turn to look at one another.

“You wanna see em’?” He asks.

You give him a deadpan expression,”No, I wanna wait another hour. Of course I wanna see!” You excitedly sit up on the bench

He fondly shakes his head, and when he speaks, you can hear the smile, “Alright, close your’ eyes for a moment.” An order you immediately comply with.

You hear rustling and then a slight ripping sound, which you assume is him tearing the bandage from his own tattoo if Jackson’s chastisements are anything to go by. Chastisements that Simon, of course, answers with a quick “Stop your bloody worrying, it’ll be fine”

You feel him grab your arm, careful around the tender area, and pull it up in front of you, placing it beside of his.

“You can look.”

You eyes flutter open, even though in the dim parlor lights you’re not nearly as blinded as when you removed the blindfold earlier, it still takes a second for shapes to register. When they do, your gaze immediately latches on to the two arms displayed in front of you. Your breath hitches.

“You like em’?” And there’s that unsureness again. Rearing it’s head in the face of your prolonged silence.

You look at him, eyes hesitant to leave Jackson’s masterpieces, “Like them? I love them!”

You basically tackle him in a hug, again, being careful with your arm, and almost fall off the bench from the momentum. Ghost lets out a little huff of amusement as he catch’s your weight with his other arm, “They’re perfect. Thank you.” You lean back enough to look at him.

He bumps his forehead lightly against yours,”Anything for you, sweetheart.”

The endearment makes you heart jump, a soft smile lighting your face. Every single thing this man does, makes you fall farther and farther in the depths of love.

“Can we please cover them now?” Jackson exclaims from the other side of the room, holding up a roll bandages.

You both burst out in giggles.

[kusundei]

iiiii. am. normal. i mean? as normal as i’ll ever be.? its just like. yeah no i feel better sort of but thats also the bad part. oh bcuz who am i.? im trying again not to condemn myself over it but i cant exactly help feeling bad whenever iiii feel okay again. who am i to be normal??? to act like everything js okay and nothing happened?? its just. incredibly selfish. half the reason i keep just kind of distracting myself is because if i am alone for too long j will start thinking about it and i’ll be evil but isnt that whats supposed to be happening anyway? im not relinquished of anything. he can be as kind and sweet as he wants because he truly is just at his core but he is. way too kind to me when i am so incredibly undeserving.

ive always sort of felt undeserving of everything regarding him but i chose to look past it because i am better. i am a good person i am okay and i can be better and im not condemned to my past but idk. this just reminds me that no i am still selfish and i am still not . really a good person. it really has just kind of brought the attachment style and allll my doubts back into the forefront of my mind ljke it was before. like when we first started dating and i was horrified. didnt believe anything he said really but i worked through it its just like? why am i doubting him now? i was the one who hurt him so why is it making me? falter?

i mean im just asking a rhetorical question because i know. iiii always know. its just that i truly dont believe he means any of it anymore because j huuurt him. the one thing thats always sort of bothered me is when he deemed me perfect, which is such a nice and flattering sentiment but i think it weighed down pn me this feeling that i HAD to be perfect when i knew deep down i had already made such a bad mistake. which is why it was so scary? i knew how he was going to take jt and j tried to just accept it and work through it and j AM. i am i am i am but i keep going back and forth on how i want to deal with this. do i keep acting like im okay and everything is okay and live like that? because it would work and it would probably help him so much more than me focusing on how much i hate myself now but i just feel. horrible if i do do that. but is that me self sabotaging again by truly preferring to condemn myself and let this kill me? like it did last time?

i dont know. again it kind of has just reminded me of last time. but the issue with this compared to how it was with jd is that that issue w jd happened about a year and a half into our relationship and the worst part? it ruined it. it festered there and grew more and more till it killed both me and her because it stuck. ajax and i arent even at 2 months yet and jve already? done? something? that detrimental? its just like. i need to change something. find something. DO something different. because i know what i did with jd last time and jm trying not to repeat a cycle. i’ll be different ill try ill do everything i can because iii cant. as selfish as it is i cant let. this . go. i cant let HIM go either and j feel horrible about it again but i just i dont know

its just so weird because. its all came back. and its so unhelpful. because i KNOW hes still going through it and he doesnt believe me and things r just different but why is it also different for me? i should just be focused on him. doing the most i can to make him feel better and really emphasize that nothing has changed in me especially regarding how much i love him. its just i also keep just feeling. so. so guilty. it comes and goes in waves again. it truly is just the fact that hes right. because if i do love you this much then why would i do that to you? why did i do that? and my only answer is just that i am selfish. because i didnt know how to keep my mouth shut and i made such a personal thing out to be just another thing i could just say because iiiii trust them. but HE doesnt know them. j told her for what? because i needed her to know? she didnt need to know that. even if i was as shocked as i was and still processing it and wanted to talk about it i shouldve kept it to myself and processed it silently. instead i put him last and ignored the matter of fact that this would affect him badly just because iiiiii wanted to talk about it . i was selfish and put myself before him and this always happens when i do so. truly why dont i ever learn? what is wrong with me?? i keep kind of forgetting about it all and then it comes back. then goes then leaves. what sucks is truly that . im so doubtful again. its not that i dont trust him and i dont believe him its just that i hate myself. i hate myself all over again and its making me unable to believe that i deserve any of this AGAIN. that no. hes lying to me. he doesnt mean it hes just saying that? ive hurt him too much . because theres no way he just has no negative feelings toward me when i was the one who did that. and let alone if he IS telling the truth then thats worse because why am i spared? why am i given the benefit of the doubt when he has vocalized that if it was anyone else he wouldve hated them? so why is jt different for me? you SHOULD hate me. thats the problem.

[saprophetic]

hey quick question why do people think that ikora (a guardian who understands that a lightbearer is not their past life, the student of the man who told us that crow is not uldren, a calm and logical and caring person) would be like, ruthless and violent and would want to kill crow because of what uldren did. like. why is that a fairly common opinion.

[wizkiddx]

two beautiful girls

someone asked for me to try dad!tom again so here's my humble attempt, I really really hope it doesn't disappoint but honestly I didn’t spend a lot of time on it before my brain turned to mush :) hope everyones okay... today seems to have felt particularly shitty for no real reason, but sending lots o love <3

dad!tomholland x reader

Summary: dealing with your daughter while tom’s away is tricky to say the least, but its all worth it when the three of u are reunited again // fluff (and maybe angst if u squint rlly hard)

(I can’t work out where this pic is from to credit but pls lmk if it’s yours/ u know)

Normally, hearing the door turn in the lock of your front door was one of the best sensations in the world. No matter how long Tom had been away for you would always be filled with such a sense of relief and warmth just by knowing he was there. Sometimes it’d be after he left only a couple of hours previous for a two hour meeting; or after a quick long weekend in New York for an event; ranging to a two and half month block of shooting across the globe. Especially since little Nova was born, your longing for Tom was only quadrupled because you also had a complete ‘daddy’s girl’ pining after him too. 

Tom had only been away for a couple of nights, yet your 18 month daughter seemed to think she’d been abandoned for months on end. She had slept for less than 6 hours each day and as much as you tried to appeal to her wise and intellectual side (which didnt really exist - she was only 18 months) that sleep would pass the time till his return ; she was having absolutely none of it. Nova kept you up for hours and hours, screaming, screeching and wailing because you weren’t as ‘funny’ as daddy or as soft as her daddy. And what does a sleep deprived baby lead to…? A grumpy baby. She refused to eat which was so awful because then you felt as if you were neglected your child. 

It just made you feel a bit of a failure, to be quite frank. The house was a mess - you’d tried almost every toy to cheer her up, which Nova had actually found great joy in launching back at your face in spite. You were a mess too - at one point, who knows when, you had tied your hair back but now flyaways were everywhere as it pulled itself out of the grasp of the too-loose scrunchie. Oh and then there was the babyfood Nova had kindly spat all over your shirt. 

It had been a really fun three days. 

It was therefore counter intuitive, the fact that Tom’s homecoming only filled you with dread. But you didnt want him to think your were a failure. You were supposed to be Novas mum after all, why must things be so hard when they’re supposed to be all natural and easy? She hadn’t even reached the terrible twos phase yet - that seemed like a far off hellish nightmare you were trying to avoid thinking of. Of course, you loved loved loved Nova - she was already growing up so fast that it actually hurt your heart a little, to think of how much in even a week she’d grown. 

But it was still fair to say she’d been a little devil this week. 

This evening you had finally managed to tempt her to sit in the high chair, she’d had about two mouthfuls when you heard Tom entering. Thats exactly what you needed, Tom to get her all over excited so she wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t go down and wouldn’t let you rest. In the madness of it all, you hadn’t managed to even attempt to clean up the sea of toys either so Tom would immediately have all your failings before his eyes. Just bloody great. 

“Where are my two beautiful girls?” 

Like clockwork, he’d always say it and Nova would always gurgle out a “dada” just as she did today. Though this time she kicked her legs in desperation, momentarily looking at you with the kindest eyes she’d given you the week. It was only because she wanted something, you knew that, yet you still gave in. With a sigh you stood up and unclipped her from the high chair, even if this was the first time in a good few days she’d been happily eating her dinner. Or rather, had taken the single first bite. 

She had something to show her Dad though. When he’d left she still didnt have certain skills, capabilities that only now she had learnt. Nova was very proud of her knew ability to kick things - recently discovered when you were attempting to put her shoes on to go to the supermarket. Instead, after 5 attempts of her impressively booting them across the room you’d surrendered - Nova walked round the shops barefoot (probably a bit irresponsible on your part but desperation calls). 

So now she giggled whilst hurtling through the room, as Tom rounded the corner in grey joggers and a black hoodie. You watched his eyes light up, whilst he knelt down at the door way to welcome your curly haired princess into his arms. With all her force, she barrelled into him , her little arms wrapping as far around his broad chest as she could. Immediately Tom reciprocated, pulling her up into his arms and swaying slightly side to side. 

“Hey little one, I missed you!” He was positively grinning from ear to ear as he rose the two of them up , pressing a quick peck to her unruly locks. 

Only then did he look up and survey the surrounding situation, you saw him track his eyes through the mess of toys on the floor, over the counter top piled high with dishes you hadn’t got round to doing and the bin that was overflowing because you just had kept putting off taking it out. It was so embarrassing that you daren’t to even look at him, instead focusing completely on mixing the now lukewarm mush you’d made for Nova round the bowl. Tom slowly picked his way through the hazardous floor, inspecting you closely. It honestly made him feel a pang of guilt, the way you looked beyond exhausted and run down - the dark shadows under your eyes only testament to that. 

“Hey darling.” He spoke softly, keeping Nova pressed to his chest in one arm while the other went to rub your side. “You okay?” Not wanting to disappoint him, you momentarily collected yourself before looking up at him with the a small smile.

“Yeh I’m good. How was the flight?” You knew Tom already saw past your attempt of small talk, the was his eyebrows furrowed slightly being the tell. But before he could question you further Nova started wriggling round in his hold, making him arch back to look at her. 

“Have you been a good girl for mummy little one?” Given your defeated look, Tom was pretty sure he already knew the answer - Nova chose instead of confirming either way to just wriggle some more as she shouted Dada. 

“What you doing crazy?” He chuckled rhetorically, bending down to let her out of his hold, where she then dragged him across the room to the foam mini ball she had. With her still slightly uncoordinated gait, she focused her eyes completely on the ball, her tongue slightly poking out the left corner of her mouth. Then with a forceful yelp she smashed the ball upwards and across the room, flying into a closed cupboard door before bouncing down to the floor. Expectantly Nova’s hazel eyes immediately then searched for her Dad’s - a massive smirk on her face. 

“NO WAY NOVA!!!” He shrieked, running and scooping her up once again, this time spinning her round so her legs flew out- her giggles enough to warm even the coldest heart of stone. “Your right foot is better than Manes!” He laughed, though neither girl in the room getting the football reference- Tom had long since given up hope of you getting invested in football, no matter how hard he had tried. “You’re gonna be the best little footballer Kingston has ever seen!” 

Nova seemed more than fulfilled with his praise, laughing and settling down in his hold whilst he straightened up glancing back at you again. 

“She’s learning so fast.” You mumbled up at him and Tom nodding, taking a seat in the chair next to you. 

“She’s got a pretty impressive teacher!” He tried so hard to perk you up, nudging your side as his gaze felt as though he was boring holes into you. 

Not knowing how to reply to his compliment you left it and the room faded to silence briefly, the atmosphere feeling rather uncomfortable for your marital home. 

“Do you mind finishing off her dinner if I take a shower?” You muttered under your breath, wanting an escape. 

Naturally Tom agreed, even if he watched you walk out the room with a worrisome expression on his face. He knew his job wasn’t easy for you at all. It had been hard enough when it has just the two of you, the long periods apart bore longer on you. Over the time Tom had been acting, he’d become somewhat used to these long periods of absence, it had just become the usual. But for you? You working a normal job meant it was harder. You couldn’t go on double dates with your friends - half the time you boyfriend was across a sea from you. Now though, with Nova, you’d lost someone you grew to depend on. Yes, it might only be for briefer periods of time but it still didn’t feel any easier.  He was effectively leaving you to be a single mother and although his family obviously endeavoured to support you in every way possible. It just wasn’t the same. 

So whilst Nova babbled excitedly her mostly gibberish in the highchair, Tom spent the time sweeping round the kitchen/diner , collecting up the toys into their boxes, loading up the dishwasher and wiping clean the surfaces - all whilst entertaining Nova with brief ‘no reallys’?” And “what ! That’s unbelievable’ and “so what did you tell them?” In response to her baby language babble. His fiery daughter was distracted by the food and one sided chat for all of 20 minutes, letting him just about finish up before she grew impatient of some more attention. 

“So what did you get up to then little miss nuisance?” He asked while wiping her mouth which was now smeared with her tomatoey gloop.

“Went park. Mummy made cookies!!”

“Cookies? No way can I have one?” He did honestly fancy the sound of a cookie, and after lifting her out the seat and onto his lap he looked round the kitchen in search of the baked goods.

“No.” She giggled with a mischievous twinkle in her eye “all gone!!”

“What?!?”

“All gone! Mummy and me drawed too look!” She pointed out the multicoloured scribble of uncoordinated lines spiralling together that had been stuck on the fridge. 

“Oooh that’s beautiful darling what else did you do?”

“Mummy and me played paw patrol! Mummy was silly!” Nova laughed at the memory, Tom squeezing her up into his chest again loving how bloody precious she was. 

“Why was mummy silly?” 

“She did Ryders voice! Mummy voice is better than Daddy’s!” 

“WHAT?!?” Shrieking in offence, Tom tickled her belly until she was squirming on the top of his thighs in fits of laughter, making Tom laugh away too. 

He truly loved his beautiful daughter. 

It took you a good couple of hours to venture downstairs, feeling for some ludicrous reason that you had to pluck up the courage. When you went down, you assumed that Nova had already passed out or was about to - the house was serene and quiet. So in your joggers and one of Tom’s big tees, you crept back down the stairs. Entering the kitchen first to get yourself a water and Tom a beer ( he never didn’t want a beer, especially after a long flight). As you entered, your feet seemed to loose their connection with you body making you halt jerkily, seeing the almost sparkling kithchen. All the toys and general clutter was gone from the floor; the dishes magically vanished, revealing a counter that you’d almost forgotten had existed. What you had done to deserve Tom was beyond you, yet you were so grateful - and  felt a flutter inside your chest as you went back out and into the living room. 

Tom had Nova sat on his thighs, though she was more like slumped against his chest as he tried to lull her to sleep with his deep voice quietly reading one of her superhero books. It had been unavoidable - she’d been indoctrinated into the world of Marvel before she could even talk, Tom insisting on wanting her to know that ‘she could be a superhero too if she wanted to’. The Spiderman baby grow, the captain marvel water bottle- the subtle nods to his roles where impossible to avoid in your house. His warm eyes briefly flicked up when he noticed you standing at the doorway, he paused his sentence to give you a warm smile and nod you over to the sofa beside him.  Still feeling a little self conscious, you stared at the floor while rounding the table and plonking yourself down next to him - allowing just a little gap of space. 

“Thanks for sorting the kitchen, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t worry at all darling” He arched over to you and pressed a quick peck to your forehead before Nova mewled in annoyance of her story being interrupted. He lightly chuckled, bringing the one hand that wasn’t holding the book to brush her unruly curls back off her head. 

Tom kept reading in his soft voice and you let your eyes slip close, just enjoying the peace that you hadn’t experienced in what felt like a lifetime as Tom’s voice lightly hummed through your head. That was until Nova decieded to interrupt the calm just once more. She grumbled insistently and squirmed in her Dads lap, before heavily pulling her head up and blinking at you - holding her arms out expectantly. 

“Think she wants her mum” Tom whispered, already lifting her over to you as you sat slightly bemused by the whole situation. Tom was home, her daddy was home, why did she want you? Tom laughed at your quizzical face as Nova burrowed her nose into you neck, letting out a contented huff. “My girls huh?”

“I promise you this is the first time this weekend she’s acknowledged me as anything more than mrs truchbull!”

“Well she’s spent all evening telling me about how good you are at baking and how your paw patrol voices are better than mine.” He murmured his words lowly, so as not to disturb Nova who was already asleep on your chest.

“She did?”

“She loves her mum… almost as much as I do” Chuckling, Tom wrapped his arm round you, pulling the both of you down to his chest while you swore your heart was exploding. 

“I love you too Tommy” 

Safe to say you and Nova were both exhausted, so after an almost shamefully short time your head rested heavier and heavier on Tom’s shoulder whilst he aimlessly carded his fingers through the ends of your hair. You really were an exceptionally amazing mother, before Nova Tom assumed he couldn’t love you anymore and yet seeing you cuddled up to his baby girl - his feelings for you could only grow infinitely. Making the executive decision to not move either of you upstairs to bed, he instead reached over to grab the blanket. He draped it over himself and his two best girls, choosing to stay in that magical moment for as long as possible. 

He loved his beautiful family of three.

And tess … Tess too ;)

[cherrysha]

The Chase

Hey! First post on this blog and its something I’ve never actually written before! Its Yandere Hisoka because I just rlly have a soft spot fr evil bastards. I want to write a lil more on this one buuut ive got sum other baddies i need to write for first. Since its my 1st time writing a yandere fic feedback is rlly appreciated <3

My requests are open atm 

Warnings: Blood, a lil spit, Choking, Yandere themes, violence, slapping, crying, uhh Hisoka being a pervert but thats expected

word count: 1,600

18+ crowd here, minors get blocked.

Part 2 here

It didn’t take you long to understand why you were told to stay away. To be exact, it only took you three seconds.

-

“You know why no one has ever collected Hisoka’s bounty y/n?” your boss asked you after taking this mission.

Judging from his face you could tell the question was rhetorical. You rolled your eyes, waiting for him to finish his little lecture. “No one is stupid enough to walk into their own funeral. If you take his bounty you might as well pick out your own casket first, assuming you even have a body left to bury when he’s done with you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this one alone.” And with that, you left slamming the door behind you. No matter how many bounties you collected, it seemed like he just never gave you credit. It was just like him to underestimate your capabilities.

What a fool you were.

-

           That’s all it took. Three seconds and he had already sensed you. Even though you concealed your nen, even though you were a rooftop away, even though you took every single fucking precaution you knew, it did you no good. As you peered through your binoculars at him you were met with Hisoka’s full gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. You felt it then, your hair standing on end, a sickening feeling in your gut. No, you hadn’t just walked to your funeral, you had sprinted.

You were running before you could even comprehend what happened, feet hitting the pavement as you tried to get as far away as possible. There was no time for you to be shocked, if his bloodlust was any indication of his power, you were as good as dead. There was no use in using any energy to try and conceal yourself now. He knew exactly where you were.

“I’ve got to be honest, you are definitely not what I expected…” Hisoka’s voice whispers into your ear. You faltered, your feet tripping over themselves as you felt the warmth of his breath on your neck. You couldnt hide the shock you felt that he had been able to catch up to you in such a short amount of time. Not many people could, and you had a head start. He lets you run anyway; his urge to murder you overpowered by his sudden desire to see you try to escape. No, he was going to savor this one. Hisoka always loved playing with his food and the way your heart was pounding was just too enticing.

-

You intrigued him, if he was being honest with himself. The chase had lasted longer than he had imagined. Any other bounty hunter would have stopped and tried to fight him by now. No, he could tell you were a smart one, you knew better than that. Hours of running had led to this moment and, oh, was he going to relish in it. 

After what seemed like forever, you finally hit the dirt, spluttering as your body gave out due to exhaustion. Such a weak little thing. And to think you truly believed you could take him on. It was laughable. The chase seemed as if it were over, Hisoka sighed, giving up on his hopes of toying with you even more. At this point he knew he might as well finish you off. He didn’t like playing with broken things, and right now there was no way you would ever be able to take him on. His eyes lingered over you, and something in him hesitated as he glanced at your crumpled form lying in the dirt, chest heaving with exhaustion. Hisoka’s gaze wandered over your body. He couldn’t help the smug smile that crept onto his face with how wrecked you look. Clothes grimy and tattered, bloody arms and legs from branches hitting your delicate skin. The sight alone made his mouth water. As you laid there and finally caught your breath his resolve to kill you started waning. But the thought of watching you try to run again sounded so boring. Both of you knew there was no point. Before he could jump down and finish you off, you spoke for the first time since his little chase started.

“There’s no point in hiding up there. I’m not stupid enough to believe I’ve gotten away.” Once he heard the lilt in your voice, he knew he wanted you. The twinkle that was still held in your dry throat was his undoing. How could someone run from death for hours and still sound as angelic as you did? He needed to know, he needed to hear more.

Your first good look at him was when he finally jumped down. Lithe and nimble, landing on his feet like a cat. He seemed well built, albeit his fashion sense was more than off-putting. “So perceptive…To think someone as smart as you would try to murder me. You should know better.” he chastised, circling you as you shifted into a kneeling position. This was it, twenty plus years on this earth just to go out in a single second. You sighed, it came with the job. You knew the risks. Now was no time to hold a pity party. “Can you make it quick? I promise you I’d rather die than hear you drone on and on about how foolish I am.” You didn’t look at him, instead you held your head down and waited. The chuckle he let out was low in his throat, almost imperceptible if you hadn’t been in the quiet of the forest. Surprisingly, his voice was still calm and collected as he smiled down at you “And what if I don’t want to do that? I don’t think you’re in a position to be making any orders little girl.” you held in the anger you felt bubbling to the surface, knowing that it would only serve to amuse him further. He wanted a reaction out of you, wanted to rile you up so killing you would be even more fun for him. You bit your lip, trying your hardest to resist the urge to punch his stupid face in.

Hisoka drew closer, bending down until you flinched away “Would you like to live?” he whispered, lips ghosting against your ear. His proximity sent a shiver down your spine, as if your body could sense how dangerous he was. “I’m not going to beg for my life Hisoka. You might as well end it now.” He groaned at that. God, did he love the sound of your voice saying his name. it felt as if he could live off of it alone. His fingers slowly traced your jaw until he reached your chin, pushing it up so he could finally get a good look at your face. “You’re a proud little thing aren’t you? No matter, I’m positive your defiant attitude will dwindle with time.” Your breath hitched at his last words. No, He wasn’t going to torture you if you could help it.

The anger was building up in your chest and you couldn’t help yourself when his face was just mere inches from yours. You spit, but that only managed to make his grin grow wider. Even though his demeanor seemed calm, his aura showed the opposite. Long nails dug into your skin as he gripped your jaw tight, blood seeping from the fresh puncture wounds. This time the laugh was audible, amusement in his eyes making your stomach curl. You werent given enough time to react to it for long, however. He lifted you off the ground by your throat, loving the way your hands instinctively curled around his arm. So soft and warm, so easily breakable. He wondered how long it would take to pull you apart piece by piece. Wondered how you’d look at him once he put all your pieces back together.

This was it; this was exactly what you wanted. A swift death. You closed your eyes again and waited as your airway was slowly constricted by Hisoka’s large hand. If you had kept them open, you would have seen the way he swiped your spit off of his cheek, sucking his fingers into his mouth and indulging in his first taste of you. His groan was mixed with a small whine this time. He wanted more; He needed more. His first taste and he already knew he would never get enough of you.

Meanwhile somewhere in the back of your mind you were amazed at how strong he was to only lift you with one hand, but you pushed it away. What a silly thought to have right before you die. of course he was stronger than you. Instead you tried to focus your mind on something better, something sweet. The sky right after a storm, the pond near your house with dozens of colorful fish, the feeling of your warm bed. Everything was going to be okay. You relaxed, letting the last of your breath go.

But within a split second he had dropped you, laughing as your body thudded against the ground. “Such an interesting little creature … A lot smarter than I gave you credit for. You already know just how to push my buttons don’t you sweetheart?” Gasping for air, you lay back in the dirt and allowed the tears to flow freely down your face and into the packed soil beneath you. You had been so close to cutting it short, so close to dying with at least a shred of your dignity left. To cry while on death’s doorstep was shameful, but it didn’t matter. It wan’t  like you could hide them once the torture started. Might as well lose your pride now, there wasn’t anything you could do. You were entirely helpless.

Hisoka saw it, the slump in your shoulders as the tears streaked through the grime covering your face. Those tears, he had to make sure that he was the only one who ever saw them. You were crying for yourself now, but once he got you home the only tears he wanted you to shed would be for him. From the pleasure he gave you. No, no one else could see them. They were his, you were his. He was determined to make you see, no matter how long he had to drill it into your stubborn head. The things he was planning on doing … he needed to ruin you.

Hisoka lifted you up by your neck again, but this time his grip was loose enough to allow you to breath. His hand came to your tangled hair, combing through before harshly yanking backwards only stopping once your face was mere inches from his own. You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to see the evil lurking just beneath the surface. Hisoka sighed, “Open your eyes for me darling.” You shook your head as best as you were able to with his grip still firmly in your hair. You couldnt trust yourself to speak, fearing your voice would crack and show just how weak you were.

 An audible crack echoed in your ears as Hisoka slapped you, biting back his moan at the whimper you let out. “Love, it’s impolite to close your eyes when I’m trying to speak to you. I thought my suggestion was enough, but if I have to use force then so be it.”. Fresh tears flowed as you stared at him, biting back your sobs as best as you could. You watched his yellow eyes flick to your cheek, smile widening in satisfaction at what he saw there. He tilted you impossibly close, licking up a trail of tears that marred your swollen and dirty face. “So sweet” he groaned, letting his head rest against yours. “And all mine.”.

[soup-writes-stuff]

Dazai x Reader

tw: suicide, references to sex?? (very obscure) , usual Dazai antics, RELIGION???? IDK 😰😰

gender neutral obvi 🤪

song: The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience

low key a stress reliever 😨😨😨💅

-—

it’s a song Fic so hopefully this makes sense 😭

Yesterday I heard you say

Your lust for life has gone away

It got me thinking, I think I feel a similar way

And that's sad

That's sad

Dazai layed idle in his bed. The sunlight cast into the window and onto his sheets. You stirred next to him. You reached gently towards him but stopped yourself, knowing he needed sleep. You layed back down and clung around his limp form. You sighed and warmly embraced him as you felt him weakly open his eyes. “Well good morning my dear.” He said as he looked down at your figure. You didn’t say anything, just stayed there. “You got any plans for today?” He asked as he brushed his fingers through your hair, gently to make sure he didn’t pull at your scalp.

“Oh Dazai,” You said with a dramatic sigh. “I have no desire to do anything, just go back to sleep forever.” Dazai sighed as those words escaped your mouth. “Oh belladonna, I feel the same. Let’s commit double suicide together!” He exclaimed. You shook your head, “Suicide is too much work, if you sleep you can keep sleeping all day and be nocturnal!” You said with a giggle.

So let's make a decision, start a new religion

Yeah, we're gonna build a temple to our love

Orgiastic dances, nymphs in trances

we'll be the envy of the gods above

“Nocturnal? I do suppose you don’t have as many responsibilities at night.” He said, staring up at the ceiling. “Exactly, let’s become nocturnal like bats.” You said.”Well if you put it like that it sounds appealing now, doesn’t it?” It was a rhetorical question obviously so you didn’t respond. “Oh darling, why don’t we just run away together and move somewhere we can buy a small cottage and a cow.” He asked with a long sigh. “A cow?” You asked, looking up at his softend face. “Yeah we can sell it’s milk for profit.” He said.

“Dazai, we would be living below the poverty line.” You said with a smile. “As long as we’re happy I don’t think money will be a problem.” You buried your face further into Dazai’s side. “Hey Dazai?” You asked. He responded in a hum.

“I’m scared again.”

We could take a Holiday in the month of May

Run free and play in fields of flowers

Pass the hours, being in love is how we'll pray

“Scared? You're worried again aren’t you?” He asked gently. You nodded. “What are you worried about dear?” He asked again. You let out a sigh. “Everything. Bad things and negativity surround me and I can’t escape from them.” Dazai nodded calmly and continued brushing his fingers through your hair. “One day we’ll run away together and never look back, you never have to be afraid again.” He whispered softly as he stared back at the ceiling. He pulled your limp body back under the covers as the room grew cold. “Thank you.” You said quietly. “Oh, you just looked cold.” Dazai muttered, wrapping his arms around you. “Not that, thanks for being with me.” You said.

“Always.” Dazai said.

THATS THE END SORRY

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin (3.1)🌪

pairing: soobin x reader genre: au  word count; 3k

“wow, you’ve really been studying a lot haven’t you?”. you say, seeing soobin’s notebook splayed out on the bed filled with notes that you had no supervision on. you were shocked to know that he took the time to study by himself. he was really taking things seriously. soobin nods, 

“i want to pass”. 

“it sure looks like it. you’re going to do more than pass with all this knowledge”. 

soobin laughs, “good. maybe I’ll earn the ski trip”. 

“ski trip?”. you question, having absolutely no clue as to what he was referring to. 

“yeonjun told me that everyone who does good on the exams earns a ski trip as an incentive”. 

you were kind of amazed, “wow. that sounds fun. when did our school start doing stuff like that? they must really want us to pass”. 

“definitely. and I think if everyone doesn’t do well the school’s going to be shut down. so I already know my parents are to blame”. 

you roll your eyes and smile a bit, writing down your chemistry notes to study. “must be nice having money”. 

“stop saying that. you have money too now”. 

“really? where?”. 

“right here”. 

you shake your head and laugh. soobin eyes you before going back to write his notes. 

“seriously why don’t you ask me for money? you never ask”. 

“you want me to?”.

soobin nods as if it were a stupid question. “yes”. 

“why?”. 

“because why not? I think every boyfriend does”.

“I love how you just call yourself my boyfriend in front of my mom and now that counts as us being an official couple”. 

soobin laughs and takes your hand. you look at him like he was the biggest joke in the world. “what are you doing?”. you say trying not to laugh. soobin was holding in laughter also while attempting to look at you seriously in your eyes. 

“do you want to be my girlfriend?”.

“i hate you soobin”. you laugh. 

“I’m serious I’m serious stop making me laugh”. 

you roll your eyes playfully. “fine. I guess I can be your girlfriend”. 

“good. are we an official couple now?”. 

you sigh scrawling your pen against your paper pretending to be frustrated. “I guess we are an official couple now soobin”. 

“you’re always trying to act like you don’t like me”. soobin laughs again, flipping his notebook page to finish the rest of the notes on the backside. 

“because if i act like I’m in love with you then things will be cringy”.

soobin lays his head on his hand, staring at you. 

“are you in love with me?”. 

you try not to blush. keeping your eyes on your own paper. his stare was eating you alive. 

“of course not”. you mumble jokingly. soobin chuckles. 

“your first time lying to me and this is what you waste it on?”.

you continue laughing leaving his rhetorical question floating in the air. he was still staring at you lovingly. 

“tell me the truth. because I’m in love with you. and I’m not afraid to admit it”.

“why are you in love with me? I’m not shaming you I just kind of find it odd--I’m just a church girl. living a normal middle class teenage catholic life. there’s nothing special about me. and here you are every girl’s dream. you’re rich. good looking. everyone wants to be you. why me? I’m nothing”.

“do you really think I can fall in love with someone whose nothing?”. 

you sigh. “I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket. I’m scared of getting my hopes up and then one day you just leave. there’s so many girls out there that’s better. look better and dress better. and you can get with every single one of them if you wanted”. you ranted and you didn’t mean to take it this far but it’s honestly how you felt. you couldn’t help it. 

soobin presses his warm hand against your cheek. “why are you getting so upset, princess?”. 

“I don’t know”. you utter being swarmed in a sea of vulnerability. 

“I’m not going to leave you. and if I did who would I even leave you for? some girl who only wants sex and clout from me?”.

“what about the ones who are looking for a relationship?”.

“I’m too in love to care”. 

you sigh again, giving him pitiful eyes. being the cheesy person he was leans in and kisses you. that didn’t stop you from liking it though. 

“I only want you i swear. now please admit to being in love with me because I’m tired of waiting for your answer”. soobin says gradually laughing. you smile a bit breaking out of your sadness. his reassurance was what you needed. to be this deep into a relationship and him leaving you? it was your biggest fear. 

“I may or may not be”. you joked. soobin sucks his teeth playfully. 

“fine don’t admit it then. guess you won’t be getting a car for Christmas”. 

“soobin?”. 

“yes?”. he grinned while continuing his notes, knowing he caught you by surprise there. 

“a car?!”. 

“you heard me”. 

“don’t buy me that it’s way too expensive”.

“i’m totally going to obey your command”. 

“soobin I’m serious”. 

“so am I”. 

“how am I even going to explain that to my parents? they’re going to think I did something for it”. 

“something like what?”. soobin asks knowing exactly what you were getting at. 

“you know. they’re going to think I had sex with you or something for you to buy me such expensive gifts”. soobin waited and laughed once you finally said it. 

“that’s hot. they think you’re like a little churchy prostitute”. you childishly punch his arm. “that’s hot to you?”. 

“if it’s you doing it then yes”. 

“how is having sex with someone for gifts and money hot?”.

“I just like the idea of you being a whore for me”.

you laugh, wondering what else went on in soobin’s mind. 

“you know--like the outfit you wore when you came over my house for the first time--god i wanted to devour you”. 

“oh yeah? why didn’t you say anything?”.

“because you were most likely going to punch me. you didn’t know me yet”. 

“I still don’t. I’m still learning”. 

yeah, but you know enough about me now”. 

“I wouldn’t say all that. how do I know you’re not some serial killer deep down?”. 

“you sat on my face last night I’m pretty sure that whole ‘secretly a serial killer’ bullshit is out the window at this point”. 

you laugh loudly, “soobin!”. 

“you also didn’t call me soobin you called me daddy”. 

“alright that’s enough!”. the both of you laugh in perfect sync. interrupting it was his mother obnoxiously calling him from downstairs. soobin promises you his return before he goes to stand at the top of the stairs answering her. 

“yes?”. he says kind of annoyed. 

“me and your father have a conference to attend. our flight leaves soon. if I come back and find out you’ve studied nothing words can’t explain your punishment. don’t just sit around this house making nothing of yourself”. 

soobin rolls his eyes, “where is your conference being held?”.

“france”.

“for how long this time?”. 

“why are you asking meaningless questions? did you hear what I said?”.

“it’s not meaningless if you guys just came back and spent less than 8 hours in the house with me before you leave again”. 

“soobin don’t start. we’re leaders and we are also missionaries. you know what is required of us”. 

“what about me?”. 

“what about you? study and make yourself useful for something soobin. we were glad finally seeing you out with the sports team and doing things that don’t require a suspension”. 

soobin’s breathing pattern changes swiftly. he could hear the nonchalantness in her tone and he hated it with a passion. 

“study and make myself useful and then what? so you both can come home and beat me and yell at me anyways?”. 

his fathers enters the foyer pointing his finger up at soobin. 

“watch your volume”. 

“for what! for what whose going to hear me?”. 

“for respect soobin! don’t make me come up these stairs”. his father threatens. 

“why should I respect you both if you guys barely respect me?!”. 

“what are you talking about you have a house to live in don’t you? you have cars you have nice clothes you have gourmet food to eat and your bank account surpasses any number of ever seen in my life. you have nothing to complain about you need to be grateful!”. his mother spat. 

“yes you’re right thank you mom thank you dad for subtracting the parental love I could’ve gotten in my life and supplementing it with material things! I appreciate it so much!”.

“what did I tell you about saying that? huh?! we love you. this is tough love”. his father replies. soobin ball his fists. 

“that’s bullshit you’re only saying that because you don’t want anyone in this town to know that the two people they respect so much don’t give a damn about their son! half the shit that you do you only do it so I can never say that I don’t have anything”.

“soobin watch your mouth!”. he father growls. 

“it’s true just fucking admit it and stop getting angry!”

soobin spat harshly and his dad was about to take off up the stairs in a fit of rage until his mother pulled him back. 

“our flight leaves in less than a half hour we have to be at the airport. we can deal with him later”. his dad nods and points his finger at soobin again. 

“consider yourself lucky”. he stated before clutching his suitcase. his mom clutches hers and they both approach the door. she shoots a disgusting look at him. 

“maybe this getaway will help you clean up your act”. she muttered and closed the door behind him.

“What about me!?”. soobin stands at the top of the stairs still yelling.

“your getaways don’t help! they never fucking did!”. he could feel his heart racing and his cheeks growing hot.

“just say you don’t really love me. thats all you have to do”. he croaks without even realizing he was crying. 

you’d been in his room overhearing the whole argument but unable to come out due to you not supposed to even being there in the first place. so you kept silent until you heard the front door shut. you snuck out of soobin’s bedroom to see him down the hallway still yelling, so it was hard to tell if it’s parents really left or not. you approach his tall frame timidly, touching his shoulder. 

“soobin?”. he palms his face sniffling. you wrap your arms around his torso and glance up at him. 

“it’s going to be okay alright? they don’t deserve you. you’ve made mistakes in your life and sure you weren’t the best behaved kid but you are still theirs and they should treat you as such”. 

“I hate them. I fucking hate them both”. 

“soobin don’t say that”. 

“I will say it. because they don’t care about me”.

“look at me”. 

soobin sighs, removing his hands from his wet eyes to glare down at you. he looked so miserable when he cried and you hated it. you’d only ever like to see him happy and laughing. this was cruel. 

“I’m in love with you, okay?”. you say, reaching up to help him dry his eyes. 

“do you mean that?”. he replies. 

“yes I do mean it”. 

“good because I fucking knew it”. soobin admits with a straight face until you playfully slap his chest and laugh. it was a relief to see his reddened face contort into a smile. 

╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱

“babe! hurry up!”. soobin yells from the living room couch. he had the movie ready and he was just waiting for you to cuddle with him. you figured you couldn’t leave him alone while he felt like this. so you gave your parents your usual excuse for being out so late. 

you promised soobin you’d do anything to help him feel better and guess what he requested? you guessed it. 

four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches specially made by you. and of course the big baby was being impatient. you rushed and slabbed the layer of peanut butter on the last slice and sat all the sandwiches on the plate. 

you carefully walked into the living room with it and soobin started the movie. you sat criss-crossed between his legs on the couch, trying to hand the plate off to him. 

“feed me”, he begs. you turn your body and face him. “you’re a big baby do you know that?”. soobin smirks knowingly. you rip a piece of one sandwich and hold it up to his lips which he munches on adorably. you feed him a few more pieces and watch the crumbs fall from his lips. 

“you’re the only person I know that can get fed and still make a mess”. you use a hand to dust the crumbs off of his lips and hoodie. 

“you’re such a mom”. 

“and you’re such a baby”. 

“your baby right?”. you sigh trying not to blush once again. 

“cmon. it’s okay to admit it”. 

“I’m not going to make things cringy soobin”. you mumble and he immediately tackles you down on the couch playfully. 

“soobin you’re going to make me drop all of these sandwiches on the floor!”. you laugh.

“admit I’m your baby”. he laughs. 

he face was inches from yours. he looked so cute and cuddly in his big sweater and hood over his head. you pulled one of his drawstrings. 

“fine. you’re my baby”. soobin smiles and softly kisses you. 

“you forgot to get me something to drink with my food. I’m going to suffocate from this peanut butter”. 

you laugh, “you didn’t ask for anything to drink”. 

“I know. I should’ve asked for milk”.

“see, that’s your mistake not mine”. 

soobin thinks for a moment before grinning. “i mean--if i wanted some milk I can just--”. he interrupted himself just to snake his hand up your shirt and massage your boob. you cackled loudly. 

“soobin!”. 

and your mornings were usual. this time around though you were encouraging soobin. he’d be taking his first history exam today. 

“remember you got this. you are smart. you can do anything and you studied really hard for this”. you remind prior to kissing him. “I believe in you”. you added. you went into your classroom and let soobin put his skills to the test. he was even more inspired now that he had you rooting for him. 

“I tried to call you yesterday but either your phone was dead or you didn’t pay your phone bill”. taehyun admitted. 

“my phone bill is paid. my phone was probably dead”. you lied. you were declining his calls to keep from soobin’s wrath. 

“we can study today after school if you’re down. I don’t have anything to do and plus the exam is coming up soon”. 

damn. you couldn’t say no to his face. could you? 

“yeah that’s fine. library?”. you ask. 

“yeah that’s cool”. taehyun shortly replies. all the while you were wondering how the hell you were going to continue studying with taehyun behind soobin’s back. it wasn’t like you were cheating on him or anything. just studying. maybe soobin was being too overprotective. 

soobin adjusts his backpack strap and attempts recalling his notes in his head while he walked to his classroom. 

“ayo? you ready?”. yeonjun asked catching up to him

“hell yeah. I actually studied”.

“good. I uhh- kind of have some news for you though”. 

“what is it?”. 

“they found more evidence on the hotel case”.

“shit. why the hell would you tell me that right now?”.

“I’m trying to tell you all the shit I know before anything comes up later so you can be prepared”. 

“how do you know this shit anyways? do you have a part time job at the police station or something?”. 

“I have my connections. and i’ve been following it to make sure they don’t try and frame me”. 

“why would they frame you?”. 

yeonjun shrugs, “I was acting pretty hostile during interrogation. but still”.

“I don’t have time for this shit”. 

“yeah that’s probably why you still haven’t told your girlfriend”.

“don’t start yeonjun”. 

yeonjun shrugs again, “I’m just saying. you keep dragging this shit out she’s going to fuck around and leave you”. 

[menalez]

Those anti-immigration asks have devolved into blanket criticism of leftists, no surprise there. I know most of radblr ignored that blog like they did the other gossip blogs, but it frustrates me to see women I previously respected in the notes of some of those "Muslim moderates are worse than Christian moderates because they're taught to never question their faith" anons. This shit is insidious even where it's not plainly spoken by non-feminists. But my question to you, since I am not an immigrant and I am American, at what point does calling this out feed the trolls? I engaged with almost all of the anti-immigrant/pro-Christianity submissions because I didn't want them to go unchallenged, when they were blatantly lying. But was I contributing to the discourse in a negative way by engaging the right wing trolls to continue their rants on that blog? How do you know what to respond to and what to let go?

when you engage with such people, you need to be very careful and mindful of what you say and how you say it. your statements are sometimes used to discount and dismiss one side and to support their own arguments. before engaging, you need to understand their argument and adequately pick it apart. figure out what they're arguing, what their basis is, why they're arguing it. then you can try to challenge it. otherwise, there is a chance you'll play into their rhetoric and be used as proof of them being Right somehow. as an example, when we bring up that a lot of immigration today is a result of the destruction caused by colonialism, they will twist it to mean "immigration is the way poc get back at white people for colonialism". you need to ensure with the way you word it that it does not even slightly imply that, otherwise theyll find a way to twist it and make it seem like that's what you're saying. if you talk about how moc are hyperpoliced and how crime stats are skewed based on the fact that white men are less likely to be held accountable, less likely to be caught, less likely to be charged, etc they might take it as you saying "moc should get away with rape more often" or smth. basically u just need to make sure ur careful with ur wording and with ur approach. make yourself familiar with their arguments if you want to engage for that very reason.

beyond that, i think im not the best person to ask when to know if ur feeding into the trolls LOL but if u get the sense that its not productive, that youre speaking to someone dishonest and intentionally misrepresenting u despite ur best efforts, and notice constant goalpost switching... for me, thats when i usually quit. might throw in a few "youre an idiot and need to be less intellectually dishonest" or something short that displays their ignorance & move on. theres at least one of those xenophobic anons (if there are mutliple) that has repeatedly sent me anon msgs on my blog & tried to debate me for like a week. that person refused to leave me alone and was dishonest the whole way through, constantly spewing altright conspiracies even when disproven and twisting shit to fit their agenda. in the end, i simply blocked & that person used VPN to message me further until i pointed out how pathetic that is of them. thats when they finally stopped and i got peace. so if your hope is to get through to the person sending those anons, give that hope up, if youre thinking maybe you can sway other people, that may be possible but as i said.. if thats your goal you need to be careful. + the blog ur doing it on isnt exactly neutral and clearly is more on the xenophobic side

[lettrespromises]

> LettresPromises informs you : You have one notification.

> Letter object : The tamer of the flamboyant flames of passion.

> Todoroki Shouto sent you a letter, would you like to read it?

@mangosnakesandpeaches​ sent a letter :  ❝heyo! its aydudenoway, just moved to my writing account! request number 1/3 : okay okay, so ya know how people always tend to write like, dom shouto and sub reader? what about dom reader and sub shouto. like, damn as much as i like dom shouto, kinda want to see some dom reader nglll. could this be a drabble/imagine and not too too graphic NSFW? i hope this is okay! ahhh okay okay so idk if you started writing my request (dom reader) or not, but could i add onto it real quick? breathless Shouto is all im saying. im so sorryyy for this being so sudden! if you can't add it, thats okay!❞

author’s letter :  ❝dear @mangosnakesandpeaches​, thank you once more for trusting me with your ideas and letting me express through words the love i have for this man and this man only!! hot take but i do kind of feel you.... like.... shouto is low-key a sub to me (aside from pegging ofc.) anywhoopsies!!! i hope you’ll like this and i tried not to make it nsfw which was a bit confusing but?? nonetheless, i hope you’ll enjoy this promised letter.❞

Genre : Erotic but not explicit smut, fluff. (Please consider that the characters are aged up.) Warnings : Cursing, foreplay, innuendos, sexual deeds. Word count : 1.6K.

After personally handing crushing losses to many villains throughout the entire week, admiring the hint of a shy smile adorning the face of civilians torn by fear as a gleam of hope while they’re being saved, secretly glancing at the newfound scars worn as medals on the abused flesh of your skin when no one is looking, any hero would be mentally and physically drained, as if your body was just the host of vacuity. And rightfully so.

Thus came the ever so needed tradition of self-care with Shouto, this renaissance of an evening was held every Friday night ever since you both graduated from U.A. No word was needed, the sole acknowledged information of today’s date was enough for the both of you to understand that today had your name as a synonymous of self-care written all over it.

This context explains why you found yourself enveloped in Shouto’s embrace, a physical testimony of just how much he loved and cherished your presence, if you will. These oh so special Friday nights also drew a contrast with your everyday life as heroes, it was also the perfect opportunity to say (or paradoxically declare in a silent manner) just how much your presence was needed to one another as the cons of being a pro-hero weighed on your mind like the sword of Damocles. To put it more harshly, the inevitable curse of never knowing if the day you were bound to spend together would be the last represented said cons.

His arms found shelter on the area above your hipbones, and every time he would let his genetically given large palms roam on this area, he would always wonder if said area had been carved to fit perfectly the form of his hands— Shouto liked to think that perhaps this was yet another sign that you were meant to be, he always tried to find poetic parallels everywhere.

His thumbs were brushing invisible shapes on the flesh of your hips left bare by the intervention of Shouto’s hands, these brushes were anything but calculated, yes, they did respect a certain common pattern—  but each time they felt similar, they always felt new at once. The semi-random nature of his gestures were the living proof that the documentary being played on the TV was semi-interesting as well.

You, on the other one hand, were sheltered in Shouto’s warm and welcoming embrace, your head fit right in the crook of his neck, and as per usual, Todoroki found yet again another poetic parallel drawn by your jointed souls. Nonetheless, if Shouto’s stare was focused on the succession of bright lights radiating off of the TV, yours was laying on the personification of your source of happiness— your boyfriend himself. After all, wasn’t staring at him way more interesting than some documentary being played? Nothing could compare to some well-deserved ‘staring at Shouto session’, but said sessions came with the slight danger of being caught, oh well…

« Love, I believe you’re doing it again. » Shouto blurted out which made you unconsciously flinch in response.

« Doing what exactly, mhm? » Oh, the fake tone of innocence could have been heard from miles away, and it sure as hell didn’t go unknown under Shouto’s radar.

« You know what I’m hinting at— staring. » But this time, it was his turn to stare at you, it was a mutual game now.

« You’re saying that as if staring at you was illegal, I mean, looking this hot should totally be considered illegal. » Shouto’s blood rushed under your newly left comment, causing his cheeks to adopt a rosy tone.

« Y/N, I’m a pro-hero, I’m not quite sure I can be considered as a villain… Is looking a certain way truly illegal? Should I change something about my appearance? » His heterochromatic eyes found yours, and a certain desire for reassurance chimed in the way.

« Shouto, baby— of course not! You’re perfect the way you are, I was only messing around, you know? » His desire for reassurance fades away and instead, you are met with a gleam of content as you continue :

« What I meant to say was… You’re so handsome, so out of this world… » Each word leaving your lips and connecting to his eardrums was accompanied with the fitting gestures to emphasize just a bit more the comforting undertone of your speech. It all began with a swift shift of position— you were now sitting on Shouto’s lap, a crucial position which guaranteed you the upper hand of physical exchanges.

« You’re divine, Shouto… » The longer your eyes met his, the more you were secretly convinced that he was indeed out of this world, thus, you underlined this statement by tracing an invisible line from the corner of his lips to his jawline under his intrigued facial expression. An intrigued expression, perhaps, but he was begging to hear more.

« You’re have all the qualities one could dream of, don’t you? » This rhetorical question was signed with the manifestation of the presence of your lips upon the flesh of his neck, Shouto let out a gasp he ignored he was holding and tilted his head to give you more room to play with as an answer, longing for the next lines of your tirade. Instead, the soft pressures left by the pecks were replaced with biting motions, and interchanged with sucking motions at times. This newfound balance of pleasure on Shouto’s newly bruised skin was the cause of a chain reaction— first, his lips parted as if he was gasping for oxygen, he didn’t need it, it was more like a precautious deed than a clear remedy to something he needed; then, his lids closed shut, in anticipation of the bliss which was bound to course every inch of his body; eventually, a deadly sin named gluttony got the best of him and encouraged him to let his palms wander on your derrière. A bold action quickly reprimanded by a quick slapping motions on the back of his hands.

« No touching, got it? Keep your hands to yourself and maybe, just maybe I’ll reward you. » A sentence so embedded with delicious sin which became amplified under the spell of your whispers, right against the shell of his ears. There was no vocal response on his end, only a line of chills from the back of his neck to the bottom of his spine, sure, it wasn’t vocal, but it was such a sweet way to respond to the temptation.

This comment would be stating the obvious but you had the monopoly of the game, you controlled the fate of the protagonists and bent the rules your way— some would call it cheating, you’d call it having the world at your feet. An adventurous hand traveled underneath the fabric of Shouto’s shirt and, on its journey, felt the various kinds of reliefs sculpted on his body. The rock hard sensation of his abdomen against the soft flesh of your palm was one of the sweetest contrasts. Your hand followed a vertical path— first, a journey near his pectoral muscles, and a tragic fall to his growing bulge right beneath you, you couldn’t help but bow your lips into a grin which echoed to a thousand of hidden desires and beyond while Todoroki looked at you with pleading eyes.

« Aren’t you such a good boy to me? You did as I said, baby, keep going for me, yeah? » Shouto knew that the way you would pronounce each individual word was a hint to what was bound to happen, and the precise manner you moaned « good boy » near his eardrum was just a mere indicator amongst a myriad of them that you would not give up on your iron hold any time soon. Your lips eventually met his once more in a heated exchange, the advantage of the height played in your favor to assert dominance and set the done of the secret ballet between your tongues. Meanwhile, your palm was dangerously stroking the oh so growing bulge in Shouto’s underwear— and when your tongue would twist in a clockwise direction, your hand would do the opposite and vice-versa.

Shouto could feel you through all his senses— and although his lids were shut closed, this couldn’t prevent him from picturing your frame towering over him, he would always remember everything about you, even the most trivial details anyway. The gluttony in him cursed at him and screamed to touch you, but he knew better than to fall under the spell of his temptations. If he couldn’t manifest his pleasure physically, he could still do it orally— and thus a silent melody resonated in your mouth at the contact of your tongue with his. Said melody ended in the crescendo of the volume of his uneven breaths after breaking your kiss due to the lack of oxygen.

His cheeks were crimson red, his mouth was set agape to let fresh air fill his lungs again, his eyes echoed nothing but an irresistible paradox of pleading and will to continue further, his head felt dizzy under your sweet toxins which had just penetrated his mind… He was so addicted to you.

You let a smirk grow on your face in response to the aftermath of your antics, knowing very well that this was just a way to foreshadow what was bound to happen : « You’ve been so good to me, pretty boy, so, so good. Guess who’s going to have his reward now, baby? »

He knew he was going to get his reward, but at what cost?

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Merlin Season 2 episode 8:

What is the point of them wearing chainmail if it does fuck all and they always die anyway? It does nothing to protect them

Because I'm a cheeky little episode peeker, I know Morgouse doesn't die in this episode, and obviously neither does Arthur, so I'm confused..... okay. Intresting.

Morgana's dress is very pretty this episode

The lesbian vibes are real NOPE. NOPE. Okay, now I know why my friends reaction was "oooofff" when I texted her about that. Okay. Yeah no. Half sisters. Which doesn't quite make sense. I'm missing something, cause things aren't quite adding up.

I have a bad feeling about the bracelet. Wow, I'm like consistently wrong today, huh? Stopped the nightmares. Good, Morgana deserves a good nights rest

Merlin dropping Arthur into horse shit was fucking halarious

!!!!!!! "What if my fathers attitude towards magic is wrong?" "You really think that?" "Perhaps its not as simple as he'd have us believe. Morgause is a sorcerer. She has caused us no harm. Surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil" !!!!!!!!

The hope in Merlin's eyes!!

I am once again wondering how the hell Arthur is Uther's son

Oh shit. Is this real? Is this deception? This seems real. I mean, thats true. Thats... not entirely true, I may hate Uther, but he seemed to genuinely love his wife, I dont think he anticipated her life would be the one forfit.

You know, it really makes sense that Arthur was born of magic. Hes the other side of the coin to Merlin, who was born with magic. The legendary king and the most powerful sorcerer of all time. It makes sense.

Oh shit, Arthur is PISSED. Never seen him like this before. Holy fuck he actually went for it. Hes actually trying to kill Uther. Now, im conflicted but im also not. I want uther dead sooner rather than later, but I don't want Arthur to be the one to do it! It would destroy him. And as much as hate Uther, the one thing I can say about him is he genuinely loves his son. You can see the horror and fear in his eyes as he realizes just how close his swing got to hitting Arthur.

Points to Leon for being reasonable and listening to Merlin. Additional points for hearing sword fighting and not immediately going in to see what the fuck is going on because orders. Actually, I dont know if that should be points for or against. Funny points, definitely.

The acting in this show, jfc, are they TRYING to kill me?

Arthur has some good points, Uther.

You can see the fucking struggle in Merlins face. He is actively lying to Arthur, taking away his experience of meeting his mother by convincing him it was an enchantress' illusion to turn him against his father and its all a lie (when he knows its not). Merlin actively played on Uthers rhetoric, rhetoric and beliefs Merlin KNOWS Arthur doesn't entirely share, or doesn't want to share. Rhetoric that hates everything about who Merlin is. And still he lies, to prevent Arthur from murdering his father, the same man who has killed so many sorcerers and innocents and would see merlin dead in a heart beat if he knew of his magic. And the conflict and pain over this is on full fucking display, in his voice, in his eyes. But he can't let this happen, because he knows it would tear Arthur apart. Even if turning Arthur against sorcerers, against what he is, tears Merlin apart in the process. I mean, fucking hell, Merlin almost literally chokes over the lie

Notice that Uthers wording avoids the demand to swear he wasn't responsible for his wife's death: "I swear on my life, I loved your mother. There isnt a day passes that I dont wish that she was still alive. I could never have done anything to hurt her" Technically, all true. But just because he never knowingly willingly hurt her does not mean he's not responsible for her death, which he is. His wording avoids lying while also not answering the question while appearing to answer it.

I know the point of the pan over is to show Gaius and Merlin exchanging a look, but I can not get over how fucking puzzled Leon looks 😂

Welp. The talking down scene nearly got me, and the following scene between Merlin and Arthur definitely fucking did. Fuck. You can see Merlins heart breaking. All hope of acceptance from Arthur, from his friend he is destined to protect with his magic, gone. Because he lied and turned Arthur against it in order to keep him from killing Uther, a man who has killed so many people like merlin and would kill merlin instantly if he knew he was a sorcerer. He has a fucking tear in his eye, he looks ready to cry his eyes out, and im right there with him.

The barely disguised disgust from merlin over Uther calling him a "trusted ally in the fight against magic" and merlins nodding along to Uthers words about how people with magic would all want to use it to corrupt Arthur while Merlin has literally used it to save Arthur's life numerous times. Merlin needs all the hugs.

Yes Gaius, exactly. Hey, I was right!

End scenes with Merlin and Gaius laughing after a rough episode soothes my hurt heart.

[tonguetiedvalentine]

why though? — calum hood

word count: 853

warnings: none

a/n: i wrote this when i was v v soft for calum ((thats why it’s all lower case i hope u don’t mind))  and wanted to share. hope you enjoy!!

my head was places on calums chest while my body rested next to his. i was mindlessly scrolling through my phone as he picked on the strings of his guitar which was sprawled over me. i couldn‘t decipher which melody he was playing, but it calmed me nonetheless.

his hands let go of the guitar and he grabbed his phone from the nightstand beside me. i didn’t even realize, until i heard the typical camera noise going off. almost instantly, my head shot up to look at him in confusion. „it‘s just for instagram“, he lazily said without even looking at me. i just shrugged it off and continued browsing twitter as he got back to strumming the strings of his acoustic guitar.

a few minutes went by until i got a text from keara, my band mate and favorite person in the world, asking me about calum‘s recent story. i already forgot about it but then decided to take a look at it.

the picture he took showed my frame laying on top of his and the guitar which was still on top of body. a small caption he put said „imagine being that comfortable with your best friend“ which made a smile find it‘s way onto my face.

people always thought we were dating and even continued telling us to do so, when we told them we were just friends, but that‘s exactly what it was. we spend a lot of time together since we were roommates and touring together but i‘d never get tired of how funny he is or the way we could talk about anything without ever getting bored of it. calum was like a soulmate to me. in fact, maybe all the people were right. maybe we are actually meant to be.

i giggled at the photo he took and decided to repost it, adding a text that said „yes, both of us are still single“, which made him laugh when he saw it.

we enjoyed the silence that fell upon us, when calum decided to break it by randomly asking „why though?“

i turned my head to look at him. „hm?“ „why are both of us still single? i mean, is it considered normal to just be that close with someone you call your best friend?“ i turned my gaze to the window, looking at the sky which was lit up by all the stars that were visible tonight. the beautiful view nearly made me forget about the conversation we were having. „i don‘t know, isn‘t it?“, i asked, looking back into his eyes. they were staring right at me, sometimes shifting down to my lips but then coming back to meet my own. he put his guitar next to us, onto the side in bed that was empty due to us laying so compressed against each other and draped his arm over my shoulders, making shivers run down my spine. „i don’t even care if it is. i feel very comfortable with you and that‘s all that counts, right?“ i nodded to respond to his rhetoric question, catching his eyes going back to my lips. some kind of reflex made me look at his too. they were red and plump, extremely kissable no matter when you looked at them.

both of us felt the tension that was in the air. still, none of us had answered the question why were single while we basically behaved like a couple each and every day. but before i could even think of a reason, i noticed his arm pulling me closer to his body while slowly bringing his face closer to mine.

i didn’t know what led me, because it clearly has not been my head, since my thoughts were completely blacked out, but i copied his actions until i finally felt his warm lips on mine. we started moving in sync, as if we had kissed a billion times before though it was actually our first kiss that should have happened way sooner.

it didn’t feel wrong. it felt like finally finding something you didn’t know you were looking for. it felt like coming home. like pure bliss and happiness.

when we broke the kiss after a few seconds, filling our lungs with air, i opened my eyes to find his already looking at me. his hand found it‘s way to my cheek to carefully caress it, making a tingling sensation appear in my stomach. we didn’t have to say anything. we felt so safe in each others embrace. eventually, i tried raising my voice, barely making a whisper come out. „i didn’t know i waited for that to happen“ he just chuckled and put his forehead against mine. „neither did i“

after a few seconds of just smiling about all that happened just a few moments ago, i put my head back onto his chest. he grabbed the guitar, returning to playing another song while i just closed my eyes and enjoyed his company.

everything just went back to normal, the only thing that changed being the way we felt even better around each other now.

[nonbinary-support]

hi i’m just wondering why you use the “q slur” tag? it’s a little upsetting seeing you refer to the word “queer” as a slur, as if it’s any more culturally charged than “gay” is. like maybe just tagging “queer” instead would be better? because it feels like a judgement of the word “queer” when you call it a slur, which is kinda reminiscent of a lot of TERF bs arguments and not much else. thanks for your time!

okay. listen. i actually made a post abt this on my personal blog recently so i still have a lot of thoughts abt it swimming around in my brain yaknow

there are two separate points i want to address in this ask

one: queer is a slur. period. it originated as a slur and is still used as a slur against many lgbt+ people in many areas of the world. you personally do not get to decide what is a slur or decide how other people identify, and there are a lot of people who are VERY uncomfortable with being called that word and can be triggered by it. comparing it to the “gay” label is just dishonest, gay started with a positive meaning (happy) and was chosen by the community, queer started with a negative connotation (weird and abnormal) and then was RECLAIMED by many many members of the community. gay may be used as an insult, because any word that refers to members of the lgbt community is gonna get used as an insult, but thats not its origin.

that said, just like you cant tell anyone else how to identify, no one can tell you either. no one is saying you cant id as queer, no one is saying you cant reclaim it, no one is saying youre not queer if you say you are (or if anyone is saying these things, they shouldnt and thats a dick move). i personally am gay and masc-aligned and i use the f slur to refer to myself CONSTANTLY. in fact if im in the right company and you asked me my gender id be more likely to say the f slur before i said man or nonbinary. this is my identity and thats how im comfortable. this does not mean i get to call other gay men the f slur or refer to the whole community by that slur, its my own personal choice that i cant make for other people.

so, yes, its a word a lot of people are uncomfortable with. its also a word a lot of other people ARE comfortable with. ive used it for myself!! im not gonna sit here and tell you not to use it for yourself and for people you know are comfortable with it. but why would you insist on calling other people something that hurts them? why would you insist on exposing them to it?

okay time for point two: acknowledging a slur as a slur is not and will never be TERF rhetoric. what does acknowledging a words history do to exclude trans women from feminism and perpetuate transmisogyny exactly? TERF doesnt just mean “person i disagree with” its a particular ideology that hinges entirely on harming trans women/transfeminine people. if something isnt specifically transmisogynist, its not TERF rhetoric. idk if you experience transmisogyny or not, but when you use TERF to describe things that are not specifically transmisogynist, youre taking words from trans women and transfeminine people that they use to address their experiences with a deeply harmful form of oppression that only they are subject to. its just not appropriate, even if you’re talking about something else that is also deeply harmful. watering down the TERF label directly contributes, however unwittingly, to transmisogyny.

honestly, feel free to ask any clarifying questions at my personal blog @gremlinfaggot. im open to genuine and frank discussions and helping people learn, and i dont want to make any lgbt person feel alienated. your identity is your identity and some people not having the same identity as you shouldnt invalidate you. its okay.

-mod basil