#thats a net positive for the world

[liu-yu-xin]

I have such a love hate relationship with c-weishennies. Like on one hand they make funny edits. On the other hand theyre spreading rumours about coco being yangyangs ex girlfriends cat and thats why he didnt reveal him sooner and theyre trying to start a witch hunt over this supposed girlfriend thats only detectable thru the existence of this cat and yangyang had to send bbl messages in the middle of the night to explain himself as if he has any obligations at all to show us his pets. And thats why i hope wayv never takes off in china i hope they stay flops in china forever. For the sake of my blood pressure

[snekdood]

nihilism is an excuse to do nothing

[shizunitis]

Thought (!): Shen Yuan sandwiched between Bing-ge and Bing-mei with Shen Jiu acting as a guard dog while Yue Qingyuan stress-sweats in the background.

Liu Qingge is deeply disturbed that he has to work with Shen Jiu on something for once. Shang Qinghua has placed bets on the outcome. Mobei & Hualing are on opposite ends of the interest spectrum. Qi Qingqi is dealing with an ink shortage. Mu Qingfang is considering the benefits of simply quitting.

Bing-ge and Bing-mei seem to be very in sync about their pursuit of Shen Yuan to any outsiders but in fact are themselves in a very high stakes competition that has resulted in multiple fights where the enemy (SJ & LQG) can’t see them. They both calm down when Shen Yuan sighs and demands they sit still so he can clean them up.

Shen Yuan is, of course, oblivious to all the hubbub.

I’ve seen a lot of content about The Shen Twins. Valid and wonderful. I support it wholeheartedly.

But consider:

The Luo Twins! Bingge and Bingmei. The possibilities are endless!

brought to you by a conversation with @shizunitis 💛

[speakofthedebbie]

@manicali still inspiring me to chase my dreams so have some hazbin hotel incorrect quotes i made a while ago + four actually new ones (dividers cuz the last one hurt my eyes lol)

---

alastor: overall, id say that experience was a net positive! vaggie: YOU KILLED AN ENTIRE BLOODLINE! alastor: net positive

kill em with kindness saga

charlie: if you kill someone with anything, kill em with kindness! angel: instructions unclear, i killed them with a tommy gun named kindness

---

vaggie: alastor, why the fuck is there a dead sinner at our dining table?!? alastor: first of all, how dare you assume it was me- vaggie: literally who else would it be. alastor: -second of all, charlie told us the other day to "kill em with kindness" so i baked them a pie alastor: it was poisoned

---

alastor: i toe the line between confidence and arrogance every day lucifer: i thought we all agreed that you are like. firmly on the arrogance side

--- (i altered the next one but you wouldnt know that)

alastor: you roughhouse with a guy one time and suddenly youre in timeout vaggie: alastor, you tried to kill him. and he was a guest alastor: key word being tried. hes still kicking, so i think i shouldnt be in trouble vaggie: do you know how many fucked up people would be walking the streets if that was how the world worked? alastor: i know. im one of them

---

alastor: i only kill people who kinda deserved it vaggie: then whats with the dead sinner at your feet? alastor: he was saying something about women belonging in the kitchen vaggie: vaggie: ...fair

---

charlie: al, what are you doing? alastor: stress release! charlie: ...youre stabbing a very life-like doll of my dad alastor: as i said, stress release!

---(the hotel needs a therapist frfr)

lucifer: who doesnt have a bit of existential dread in the morning? charlie: ...everyone??? husk: thats not normal? alastor: damn it angel: fuck! vaggie: oof niffty: *maniacal laughter in the corner* charlie: should i call someone???

---(charlie please get everyone a therapist trust exercises arent enough)

charlie: and what do we do when we feel overwhelmed? angel: drugs! alastor: go on a murder spree! niffty: a roach murder spree! lucifer: self-isolate for millennia! husk: drink until i forget what feelings are vaggie: irrationally hate on everyone! charlie: no!

---(luci the typa guy to talk to his cat frfr. maybe he actually understands her idk) [these next ones are actually new. yeah i had a bit of a backlog]

lucifer: hmm.. what about you, keekee? keekee: meow lucifer: my thoughts exactly

---

lucifer: pancakes are the best breakfast food! alastor: id beg to differ lucifer: Then beg.

---

lucifer: shower thoughts in the rain are still shower thoughts. if you think about it alastor: why am i in love with you again lucifer: i ask myself that question everyday :)

---

alastor: what can i say, i aim to please lucifer: you have never said a nice thing to me in your life alastor: i love you :) lucifer: you have said one nice thing to me in your life

oki bye

[goodlouse]

my thoughts on the two most recent games i've played (mouthwashing and silent hill 2 (2001)) which i've been thinking about alternately for the past few days for similar reasons

going to mention spoilers in here but this post will probably only be fully comprehensible to ppl who have experienced both games

not expecting many to read this but tumblr is quickly becoming my outlet for opinions that I can't rlly post on very public sites like tiktok where any criticism of a media means that I hate it and hate you for liking it. haterism be damned I actually got a net positive from playing both of these games!!

so I started playing silent hill 2 (original because I do not believe in/have the money to buy modern remakes) fresh off the back of silent hill 1 which is a game I REALLY enjoyed. I would EVEN say that sh1 is my number 1 cosiest game of the year.

sh2 is dirtier, bleaker and sleazier than sh1, and is lacking a lot of the occult aspects that I really liked. it's also like one of the most talked about games ever so like . i went into it with the knowledge of a few major plot beats and it took a long time playing to be able to take the game on its own terms.

i also took a little break halfway thru the game to stream mouthwashing for some curious friends. mouthwashing is a game thats very popular w streamers & youtubers and their audiences, so major plot points are also incredibly talked about. I mentioned this to a friend while setting up the game and he said I'll get something out of it anyway and then compared it to silent hill 2, which I kind of brushed off as a "psychological horror w unreliable narrator" thing (sorry choccy if you ever read this) but it turns out the two games are actually very similar in the way they draw my ire LOL

these things being: -sexual assault victim who doesn't have time in the plot to exist outside of her trauma. this is partially due to both plots being very tight and concise with no elements that don't serve a higher function BUT -this is then undermined by certain areas of gameplay dragging. for mouthwashing especially the last ~45 minutes felt very weirdly paced and unfortunately made me think of ppl who speedrun garten of banban in under 2hrs to get the steam refund, which resulted in later chapters being padded w drawn out segments.

The friends I was streaming for that have consumed more media than I have said that a lot of tropes in the game felt a bit derivative, but I don't know the things its deriding from BUT I wish mouthwashing would take more from the survival horrors its imitating in it's style. The gameplay between character interactions is limited to inputting codes you've read or corridors where there's only one correct route and everything else results in a reset - I think people that watched mouthwashing through a letsplayer might not truly get how understimulating that feels. Some more psychologically symbolic puzzles and riddles would not have gone amiss!

which brings me back around to silent hill 2, where I am legitimately just too stupid to do the 'collect and combine 3 items to progress' without a guide. because A) I don't intuitively clear out all rooms because I hate all combat encounters BECAUSE i am being too overly conservative with ammo so every enemy gets a fight to the death with melee weapons

i finished the game with a SURPLUS of ammo btw so that is partially on me for making myself struggle unnecessarily, but oh my goddd the prison/labyrinth section took so long!!

I also quite disliked eddie's plotline, which unfortunately literally just came down to his character design :/ his plot revolves around resentment over the way he's been treated for his appearance, but as a fat fuck myself my grievance was with the way he's been dressed by real world character designers that are falling on stereotypes. its juvenile in a way that betrays the subtlety of the rest of the game, and makes him seem infantile despite being so essential to james's arc. I genuinely think that a wardrobe change would have silenced my gut reaction of "what are they trying to say with this?", and its disappointing to see that the remake didn't take the opportunity when they did with maria

angela's plot was fascinating to me for depicting an abuse survivor with some imagery I've not really seen in other media! I think her character was written with a lot of respect, and her and eddie's plots feel like complimentary and cautionary tales to james, but it's very sad that ultimately her trauma was depicted as something that can't be lived with - this is something she shares with anya. I guess it's kind of disappointing that a womans struggle with sexual trauma ends in death in two games that are 20 years apart, I personally feel that theirs (and jimmy's suicide) is a bit of a tired trope

however. despite finishing extended periods of both sh2 and mouthwashing feeling annoyed and frustrated that they werent as tight as the rest of the game, but now that I've had days to process them my mind has been lingering on a few moments.

-pleasantly surprised by how legitimately startling pyramid heads introduction, really good use of unsettling imagery -sh's soundtracks always hit at the moments it counts -the last hour of sh2 had me in tears, mary's letter was bittersweet and I love how the tone completely changes depending on the ending. as someone that likes the occult stuff in the other sh games I loooove the implications of the rebirth ending but I appreciate it seems a bit left field in this standalone plot

-jim & curly's ladder conversation in the cockpit, I think that one stuck with me especially as the one defining moment in both of their outlooks, the wealth and status inequality that still leaves both of them wanting more out of their lives.. the guilt and resentment that can come of circumstantial success etc etc -similarly the dead pixel convo -swansea's honest monologue -the glitch effect after anya's suicide was REALLY cool visually, it felt like the one defining moment where mouthwashing really took advantage of its medium

TLDR I feel like I learned a bit about what I like and dislike in psychological horror by playing these two side by side, defintely interesting research while I'm drafting a horror comic with a dreamlike atmosphere... :)

[liquidstar]

i think the real reason many of us were able to read more books and watch more shows as kids vs as adults is just because we use our brains more now. as a little kid i didnt think about the stories very deeply, especially not on a meta level. i wouldnt really analyze the subtext, form critiques about the way they depict certain topics, or take real-world implications into account. i mean, on some level im sure the ideas were there, but generally i would just sort of take the events as they came. a surface level read, often with thermian interpretations. and then id just move onto the next book/show without thinking much more about these things.

but as an adult, those things are exactly what i think about every time i engage with media. it can be very fun, and i enjoy doing so quite a bit, but it also does take more energy. you have to pay more attention and take things a bit slower sometimes, instead of just racing through it with your brain empty. you get more meaning out of it this way though, so i still see it as a net positive. its not just about "consumption" or quantity, but the quality that you personally get out of the story. the way it will impact you, and it doesnt matter what it is. art is in the eye of the beholder and all.

so at the end of the day i dont think you have to feel bad that youre not consuming as much as when you were a 7th grader with infinite free time and less developed critical analysis skills. you dont have to be in this weird race with yourself. youre probably getting more out of it now than you did back then, just because youve gotten better at said critical analysis skills, even if employing them takes more energy and time. you know how to now, so the experience overall is richer, even if its less in quantity. thats what i think

[wilds1de]

[  jessica alexander,  ciswoman,  she/her,  n/a,  n/a  ] welcome  to  excesstv,  SOPHIA  GRACE  VARDY  —  or  should  i  say  the  primadonna  ?  …  a  quick  google  search  tells  me  you’re  a  TWENTY FIVE  year  old  MAKE UP BRAND OWNER who’s worth 650M.  you've  called  avalon  home  for  THREE YEARS,  however  something  tells  me  there’s  more  to  you  than  a  flashy  resume  and  penthouse  33B  on  your  door  ?  it  seems  you’ve  managed  to  earn  a  reputation  around  the   city   for  being  SHORT-TEMPERED,  yet,  upon  further  investigation  it  seems  you're  also  quite  CHARISMATIC.  but  hey,  thats  the  kind  of  mix  that  keeps  people  guessing.  i'm  sure  as  a  ARIES  you're  used  to  people  commenting  on  your  CARTIER DESTINÉE NECKLACE  /  THE SOUND OF VALENTINO GARAVANI PLATFORM PUMPS AGAINST MARBLE, GLOSSY PINK LIPSTICK STAINS ON WINE GLASSES, UNREAD TEXT MESSAGES, FOREVER CHECKING HERSELF OUT ON ANY MIRROR, & THE SCENT OF BACCARAT ROUGE 540.  but  still  we  can't  wait  to  watch  you  flourish  (  or  fail  )  these  next  few  weeks  … 

basics.

name: sophia grace vardy

nicknames: soph, sophie

age: 25 years old

birthday: april 5th, 1999

gender & pronouns: ciswoman, she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

zodiac chart: aries sun, sagittarius moon, capricorn rising

place of birth: manhattan, new york

current residence: manhattan, new york

education: bachelor's degree from new york university

occupation: founder, owner, and chairperson of make up brand, soph

languages spoken: english, french, italian, some spanish

net worth: 650M

family.

father: william vardy (world renowned film director)

mother: daniella vardy née harding (supermodel)

brother: ian vardy (college student)

physical.

face claim: jessica alexander

height: 5'6" (168 cm)

hair color: blonde

eye color: green

tattoos: a dagger on her left side boob

piercings: lobe, upper lobe, and conch (both ears), helix and rook (right ear), belly button

personality.

positives: charismatic, persistent, confident, conversationalist, resilient, easy going, independent, fun, adaptable, outspoken

negatives: vain, impulsive, short-tempered, judgmental, stubborn, vindictive, selfish, nosy, spoiled, materialistic, closed-off

love languages (top 3): physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts

enneagram: the challenger (type 8)

mbti: esfp (the entertainer)

label: the primadonna

background.

sophia was born and raised in manhattan, with everything handed to her on a silver platter. her parents were never in the picture much, with her father's sky rocketing career taking priority, directing one box office winning movie after the other and running his production company (think james cameron), and her mother spending her days in different countries modeling for the biggest luxury brands (think cindy crawford). sophia was thrust into the spotlight at a very young age, taking some small roles in her father's films and doing some modeling with junior lines for luxury brands.

william vardy expected his kids to follow in his footsteps and work in film. after all, he needed someone to take over his beloved production company. despite the similarities in upbringing, sophia and her brother couldn't be anymore different. ian was always the more focused, academically-gifted, and disciplined of the two, and he grew to be his father's pride and joy, especially after showing much interest in following in his father's footsteps. sophia's spoiled, confrontational, and rebellious nature revealed itself at a young age, with her teenage years spent partying too much and breaking every rule there is, dating around, and refusing later on to partake in any movie, shoot, or event for her parents, not caring if that affected her family's image. much of it was to spite her father, whom she butted heads with a lot. her relationship with her mother wasn't perfect, by any means, but while her father was difficult, her mother was too passive, so it made getting along with her much easier.

at some point, her father presented her with an ultimatum, she either did something with her life or he cut her off. the latter, of course, was a nightmare. too stubborn and angry to work in film and appease her father and be financially dependent on him, she decided to do her own thing and explore some business ventures, launching her make up brand at eighteen with her mother. with her family's connections and her mother's initial guiding force, the brand rose to fame quite rapidly with many successful collaborations and releases. the brand became the only thing she was passionate and serious about.

joining season 1 of excesstv was an easy decision to make, acknowledging that it will benefit her brand, all the while being a fun experience. and well, sophia never said no to any opportunity which promised her more attention and fame...

connections.

tba.

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[angelsaxis]

makeup is a gender role thats doing more harm than good because the only reason/way it exists in our society is to force women of all kinds to cover "blemishes" and "flaws" that are RARELY if ever criticized on men (and if they are, its never for gendered reasons. dark spots never make a man less masculine, but they make women less feminine). women of all kinds are expected to fit a certain ideal of femininity that a lot of us, especially those of us who are trans or women of color or fat, will likely never achieve.

as much personal freedom can be gained from being able to wear makeup that finally matches your skin tone or foundation that isn't super harmful to your skin, its fucked that we live in a society that, again, puts this expectation of conformity on women. in its most extreme form we literally have women contouring their faces into the exact same high cheek bone/slim nose/full mouth look thats connected with peak (white) femininity and that zombiefies the features of Black women with it. there are women of color slimming their noses and that is meant to make them look more attractive. be serious.

the makeup industry is run by cishet white men. i understand that wearing makeup for a lot of women is an act of survival and a means of avoiding violence. i understand that. i understand that. nobody should say i don't. but the solution should then be making society less violent and less a threat to women who don't conform, not trying to convince more people that makeup is a net good.

the body positivity movement once it hit the mainstream had its flaws but at least the underlying message was great. now i see a lot of people who claim to be feminists do the bare minimum in praising the bodies of women who don't fit the beauty standard; praises like "cunt" and "queen" are still heavily reserved for the skinny, the curvy (not in a plus sized way), the able bodied, the cis. the flawless, the hairless. never for the disabled, the hairy, the trans women regardless of if they have a bulge or not.

we've got razor companies capitalising on the body positivity movement by leaning 100% into choice feminism with ads like "women have body hair (shave it)! women have dark hair, pubic hair, thick leg hair, and there's nothing wrong with this (shave it). Women come in all shapes and sizes (buy the razor)". I recently saw an add that implied the facial razor used to get rid of fine, dark hairs on a woman of color would help the world see the "real her" (or "you", rather).

(a lot of these ads are becoming more racially diverse without the core message changing. again, i understand that there are some women who literally have to shave for survival. its society thats fucked, not them)

more and more people on here are seeing feminism slide backwards; i am. I have no idea why, if there even is one reason and not a series of factors contributing to the dilution of feminist language on this site in particular and on social media in general and real life, also in general. a lot of the concepts are still here (consent, the general understanding of toxic masculinity, etc). but theres also resistance to naming patriarchy and to explicitly saying men are the primary beneficiaries of patriarchal violence.

[robotnuts]

i dont know much and i havent really Read a lot of theory so id probably be laughed out of the room by anyone that has but even as someone who knows nothing i do think its clear that like. even if the broader political implications werent fully intended by burnie (which, considering the problems with disability rep in rvb, i sure Hope they weren’t), there’s still meat to sink your teeth into there. 

reading the AI as assistive tech in the story creates some really interesting thoughts about biopolitics and the military. there’s interesting stuff about how maine’s disability is treated and how care is forced on him that he doesn’t ask for and how york is treated of course, i just reblogged a post on it, but i think pushing the framework further to extrapolate what it means for characters who Aren't understood as disabled being provided assistive tech highlights some interesting points about disability politics. what does it mean if you consider even the able bodied freelancers being (classified as) ‘disabled’ by not living up to a superhuman standard that no one can access without modifications. 

having an ‘abled’ or ‘disabled’ body isn’t a natural inherent objective state of being but a classification produced by and given to you by sociopolitical circumstances, what is considered 'disability’ is subject to change with shifting cultural norms, etc. so in an incredibly high-control hierarchical environment like the military, with absolute control over your environment and body and goals, the standard of behavior you need to achieve to be considered 'abled’ can be pushed so far to the extreme that it falls out of the range of behaviors that can even exist without assistive tech so fantastical that can't exist in the real world. this view challenges the 'common sense' conceptualization that being abled is just the ‘natural, healthy’ condition of one’s body as an inherent physical state with no societal influences or contexts. instead, disability and ability is produced by the interaction between one's physical body and those contexts, and in extreme contexts, we get extreme conclusions. no one at club errera would consider agent carolina disabled, but under project freelancer, in order to further the aims of the people she works for, her not being able to run 50mph is a ‘disability’ that needs assistive tech in order to fix. 

and also under the control of the military, the abilities of agent carolina’s body are owned by her superiors. her assistive tech isn’t given to her in order to allow her to run fast because she wants to and thinks it would enrich her life, and being granted More Ability is not an unquestioned net good with no drawbacks**, but a material tradeoff that comes with different advantages and disadvantages for one's dayt o day life. it's not for her, it's solely because it would allow her employers to continue exerting power and maneuvering towards their political aims. in short, her own well being is completely disregarded, because, well. duh. it’s the military.

assistive tech’s designs and aims are also not apolitical and always a positive thing. using the AI has extreme physical and mental risks and harms for all the freelancers, as well as just being a MASSIVE interpersonal burden/change in how they’re expected to interact with the world on a fundamental level, which makes sense as a trade-off! in order to be able to perform the superhuman feats required by PFL the tech is fundamentally invasive on the deepest possible level. but it helps PFL look better and satisfies the director’s enigmatic whims,* so get on the operating table. 

this point reminds me of posts i’ve read about prosthetic arms and how they’re extremely difficult to learn to use and how most people give up on them because they aren’t comfortable and aren’t helpful in the long run, but people are still encouraged to be fitted with prosthetic arms, because thats the Natural state of an Abled body and wouldnt it be best if everyone could Return to that, instead of considering assistive tech that might actually treat the needs of an amputee, such as tools modified to be able to be used with only one hand (also, militaries even use soldiers who are given these devices after losing their arms as promotional fluff pieces, calling them bionic arms and showing off how high tech and cool they are, even though from what i understand, they suck! fuck the military!!!)

*(and i don’t think the director’s enigmatic whims are necessarily me being snarky about weird character writing and don’t reflect any real life phenomena either- this being the director’s Pet project and theory and people with power being able to use that power to extreme ends to get incredibly stupid ideas manifested in reality reminds me of the elizabeth holmes, the silicon valley blood girl, and how she got investors excited because they were sold on the story of the idea and not because of any real merits it had. NFTs work as another example. the director decided he’s going to do this dumb fucking AI dissociative identity disorder scheme because it seemed so clever, and there’s no checks on his power as the nepo baby in charge of the big shiny war machine, so he can totally just fucking implode his entire organization and ruin countless lives on this pipe dream fueled by his fucking dead wife angst 

**this is why this essentially just being the case and all we're given wrt wash's disability in zero drives me so crazy lol. i mean most of the stuff i find interesting here is in 6-10, its not really doing the same kind of interesting stuff in 17 either, but i do think a story about a disabled character coming to terms with what his and future will look like is an important story to tell, even if i don't have as many interesting thoughts how the plot intersects with the explicitly political environment of the military in the same way i do with 9/10

[dailyoyo]

thabk yoi a lot dailyoyo your brains are very compelling to me it kind of makes me want to study you like ants . i quote you all the time like i tell my friends " i stole this sentiment / headcanon from a deranged yoyo tumblr account " . you are aspirational really Truly we need more dailyoyos in the world i cant stop thinking about lawyer yoyo now .... also i beg for more dissecting of yoyo and mew dynamics if ur Into That . theuve always been really interesting to me but honestly like 4 pieces of canonexist in jsr ever so

VERY DELIGHTFUL ASK TO GET. i love to hear that i have had a net impact in making people get weirder. its so important to me. making the jsr fandom worse one post at a time <3

a lot of the way i post in here is inspired by both my friends but also some of the crazy bitches (affectionate) ive seen around over in the dragon ball z fandom in particular, but really i think ANYONE in the world no matter the fandom has the god-given right to tear characters apart with their teeth and make them fail as fuck and really really really sick in the head in ways they were probably not intended to be read as in canon. Everypony out there get eviler!!!!!!!!!!!! Now.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LAWYER YOYO I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT TOO. hes fascinating to me in that like hes technically not a Bad Ending (MOST of that au technically isnt!) and yet objectively he is a worse outcome because in regular(paradox) canon theres an avenue for yoyo to heal and become less bastardous. because like he has genuine friends and positive interactions and reasons to Want to be more than a self serving shithead. and also hes 16 of course hes an asshole hes 16.

but with lawyer yoyo its like. Its too late. He grew up and he stayed like that and he does not care to change and he has no impetus to change. hes definitely living a safer and more comfortable life and he has much higher self-esteem but he is Staying dead inside. Like ok regular yoyo and lawyer yoyo are both mentally at the bottom of basically the same exact well but lawyer yoyo was like "fuck it" and built a house down there. do you get me

Oh fuck this post is getting so long and i havent even talked about mew and yoyo yet.

okay so liek. beat was yoyo's first proper Friend in the ggs (as opposed to "just tolerating him being around"). because beat kind of totally fell for yoyo's whole harmless schtick lmao. but mew was the first Real Friend in that she picked up on how much of a fake fuck yoyo was and decided to hang out with him anyway.

which. ADMITTEDLY. this was originally BECAUSE she was fascinated by yoyo being so insincere (for a while he was also really playing up the "ohoho i'm TOOOTALLY not a double agent" thing for shits and giggles even though he literally wasnt.). and as previously mentioned yoyo had a crush on her which is why he didnt realize mew could see right through him. honestly for a while he kind of thought he had totally had her under his thumb but the whole time mew was like "Awww hehe he thinks im only hanging out with him because of his manipulations, thats so cute ^_^" (<- DERANGED)

and in a way while they were already friends their friendship didnt Truly start until after yoyo confessed his love and was rejected. because like the whole thing was kind of a wakeup call for yoyo - mew had noticed his feelings all along and was waiting for him to say something Just to reject him, and like among normal people that would probably be a lot more hurtful but in that circumstance it was like... she'd outplayed him. easily. and he didn't even notice, but she's still here anyway. and she still wants to hang out with him even though she can tell the kind of person he is.

because the thing is like. mew may play up her innocence and naivety but she IS genuinely kind at heart. a lot of her strange desire to examine nasty people under a microscope is because of her desire to see the humanity in everyone, to understand Why people do the things they do. and she's not under any illusions that she can """Fix Him""", god knows she's not sure she can even "fix" herself, but she saw yoyo for what he was and could respect the survival mechanisms at play for what they were. (this is also why mew was so immediately like "idk Yoyo doesn't seem like that kind of person..." when the nt-3000 thing happened because. like. she Understood his modus operandi and that simply Wasn't It.)

and like when youre the kind of person who thinks that as soon as someone sees under your mask that they'll want you dead in a ditch, knowing someone who recognizes your mask and is just like "oh cool, i got one too" is kind of world-shaking. paradoxically them recognizing each others' insincerity makes them be a lot more sincere with each other.

Oh fuck this post long as hell. yoy

[9w1ft]

I’m a battle hardened kaylor at this point. Last night’s stunts just made me smile and laugh. But I remember what it was like when I was a baby kaylor and was upset every time something happened. There seems to be a lot of baby kaylors these days, which means our population is growing, so thats a positive! My advice to the newbies: becoming a kaylor is like taking a crash course in stoicism, but skipping right to the final exam. If you let these stunts bother you, you’ll be miserable. Just shake it off! We can’t control her, or the hetlors. We can only control who we engage with and our reactions. The sooner one realizes this the better.

(just a footnote for anybody new, baby kaylor is meant affectionately here. it’s how a lot of us describe anyone’s early days as a kaylor. you’ve got the most energy and enthusiasm and you experience the high highs that come with learning about all the lore or seeing something happen real time etc, but you also get the low lows of emotion as well)

yeah i think it’s important to learn to shake a lot of stuff off, like any sense of having to defend things against people who are going to take the opportunity to try and ruin your day, but in terms of bearding idk… i also think its important take it as an opportunity to reframe the way you think about it?

because its kind of what bearding is, historically speaking. so if you make it about morality or if you make every bearding action a bad sign or something to be mad about or sad about, then you’re gonna set yourself up for a world of hurt. bearding has existed in the entertainment industry and otherwise as a way for gay (umbrella term) people to redirect attention away from things they want to protect because of the society that we live in. it’s important of course to lament that society and to hope for a more free future for everyone, but i don’t think it’s something to feel bad about, if that makes sense.

and this isn’t me saying to like, go numb or to uphold the status quo. just to find ways for your pastimes to not get in the way of your life or the energy you need to make the world around you a better place. it can also be a chance to channel emotion you might feel about it into taking actions irl to leave a positive impact. im not sure i’ve ever said this before because i usually keep what i do in my life separate from what i do here, but i remember back in late 2018 i was left feeling very distraught but i took it as an opportunity to step up at work and i joined a team that changed some wording for benefits policies at my company, so as to be explicitly applicable to couples regardless of the gender of both partners (gay marriage is still not fully recognized by every prefecture in japan). there’s some other stuff i did too with that team and i still help them out with translating and stuff, whenever i can be helpful. even if small, i think there a lot of opportunities in our everyday lives to help someone out, even if it’s just helping a family that looks lost at a train station or something. and taking those small actions can help us take charge of our feelings even when the going gets rough. i didn’t mean to end this on a We Are The World type message lolol but i just mean that ultimately this fandom ought to be a place where we can get a little bit of joy out of the things that are joyful, and take other moments to get inspired to take actions in our real lives, where ultimately this pastime of ours is a net positive on our lives… if that makes sense. i think this is true of any hobby in your life, really.

[chocochococoffee]

keen on my idea au that old world jojos and new world jojos were (should be) separated of each other until OW notices the existence of the other Joestars via Johnny commiting domestic terrorism (no proof of it though) and being 4th on the SBR

on the idea that

giorno and josuke should be friends who negatively (positively) feedback each other

johnny is a fucking bitch who doesnt communicate with anyone else but gyro. knows his cousin dragona only. takes him a while to fall into the safety net thats joseph and jolyne (by offering him weed and talking about stuff broke and crimes committed).

Jodio is yet another smarmy bastard but hes like 14. gets adopted by josuke.

jonathan brings the meddling speedweed everywhere even while married. are they poly? erina what do you say? is the big topic of all years. they dont know about dio hueueue

things to consider

sth bizarre might happen.

[cringefailfagcat]

bsd is just so about the tragedy of the living like. dazais whole is there any point to this thing we call living is such an. integral part to the structure of the series. to live is to suffer yes but to overcome that suffering and to live again and again is the resilience of humanity. you are not the one who assigns the value to your own life. you earned the right to live by being born. things will be taken from you. and one day your life will too. but until then you are in this world and you can grow until you cant. you deserve a second chance. you deserve to try to live again. you deserve to try and live properly no matter how many tries it takes. like yes death is indiscriminate but thats not the point of the show. its not about the despair of death and the way it comes for all of us its about the despair and strength of the living. asagiri wants to tell That story. its for people who arent good at living. do you get me😭

yeah I guess it's just. idk. it's so. were alive we're stressed we're in 'life-or-death' situations struggling failing to know how to live but god. it just. idk. you deserve to live bc you live but that doesn't give you value. that's net zero. you just forget that zero is a balance of negatives and positives and in and of itself it does not contain suffering. it contains the mere baseline for existence. more and you live, less and you die or suffer. yk. it's just. idk. the message feels off a bit to me incomplete, unfulfilled somehow

[sebitorres]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, SEBASTIAN SEBI TORRES! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like DAVID CASTAÑEDA. You must be the THIRTY FIVE year old BOUNCER AT OASIS & MONEY LAUNDERER. Word is you’re CHARISMATIC but can also be a bit COCKY and your favorite song is HYPNOTIZE BY THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. I also heard you’ll be staying in OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS.

GENERAL DETAILS.

BIRTH NAME: sebastian "sebi" torrres AGE: thirty five DATE OF BIRTH: 28th of july 1988 PLACE OF BIRTH: east los angeles, california, usa ETHNICITY: mexican GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he/him ORIENTATION: panromantic / pansexual RELIGION: grew up catholic OCCUPATION: bouncer at oasis & money launderer

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS: charismatic & enigmatic NEGATIVE TRAITS: cocky & reckless MYERS BRIGGS: ESFP

THE RUNDOWN.

Sebi grew up in a loving family of 5 kids, and was his mothers favourite, though she’d never admit it if asked. But Sebi knew, he got away with a lot more than what his siblings ever could. But thats not to say he didn’t have a good relationship with his brothers and sister either, they also enabled their little brothers double standard as he was always good to them. He loved them, and they loved him, and were the only people he'd allow to call him Sebastian. At school Sebi was known as the class clown, despite being a smart kid he didn’t really care that much about formal education. This was probably the only actor of Sebi’s life his mother disapproved of, but the boy had big plans to use his charisma, charm, and wit to build himself an empire. In whatever capacity that meant. Some would say Sebi was cocky, and in a way that’s true.

The boy knew that out in the big wide world people were cruel, and looked down upon the smaller fish in society. If no one else outside of Sebi family would have faith in him, then he would build up his own self worth. No one else was going to save Sebi out of the comfort of his family home, but himself. This new mindset would be pinnacle in the events that led him from humble suburbs of los angeles lined by your regular middle class homes, to the bright lights of the big city itself. Sebi moved to work on whatever job he could get his hands on, he made sure not to be picky. He’d butter up rich housewives with compliments, and schmooze with their wealthy businessmen husbands so they kept him around, eventually asking him to do more higher paid jobs.

Now Sebi could of stopped here, he wasn’t rich but he was living a reasonably comfortable life at this stage. But it wouldn’t be enough, not while he saw bigger dollar signs that could be made. The more time he spent around these families, the more he was invited to work at their more private events, getting closer to his dream targets and closer until he was finally given an invitation as a friend. The work he was putting in was exhausting, often back breaking, Sebi’s family barely saw him at this time for almost half a year, but he promised them that he had a goal he was working towards — and he was going to reap the rewards. They seemed pleased, but a little confused. Things started to slow down for Manny after the first year of breaking the first layer of the rich families of LA, and he wondered whether they’d no longer have a use for him, which meant the end to his revenue stream. They’d outsource work, or close down their businesses, leaving Sebi to have to rethink his strategy.

After a few months of waiting, Sebi moved to Aurora Bay and got a job at Oasis as a bouncer, deciding he needed a safety net to fall back on. While working there, many of his old employers would greet him as they visited town. Some also moving for a seachange. Listening to the conversations of his drunk former employers, he heard something very very interesting. A family he had bonded with worked in finance, but had never exactly divulged on what exactly they did. Apparently they needed someone to ‘do the cleaning’ ever once in a while — very vague. Sebi took this opportunity to gently assert himself back into these peoples radars. That’s when they asked if he could help them with a part time, under the table, and very high stake task. They knew they could trust Sebi had no reason to sell them out. All he wanted was a healthy revenue stream for himself, and to send back to his family to make their lives easier. It took a moment for the penny to drop on what they meant. Money Laundering. Out of all the jobs Sebi had picked up in his life, they were all legal, all above board. It left him unsure on whether this was a line he was willing to risk.

While he had developed a good relationship with these people, he didn’t entirely trust them to help him if he got caught. At the end of the day, Sebi knew he was expendable to them. They asked him to think about it. A week later, Matthee texted the family with a simple response: ‘i’ll do it.” It shocked Sebi, after a bit of practice, how simple the process was. While working his job as a bouncer, he’d occasionally get a text to meet his secret employers. He’d acquire the dirty money from them, and integrate it into the financial system via a multitude of accounts. It was often very hard to keep up with the amount of accounts they had active in this scheme. Then, he’d layer with clean money to break connection to the source. Eventually, the money would then be used by his employers in the commercial system. Sebi couldn’t believe his eye’s when he saw his first payment for his efforts, and suddenly, the fear of getting caught was suddenly overshadowed by the fact this could be his ticket to reaching the goal he had as a young boy.

That’s if he kept playing his cards right.

THE RUNDOWN.

current connections.

Bromance and employee of @borawinters Coworker of @callme-harris, @ulyflynn, @lorelailewis, @maviscampbell, @xoimani, & @scottienolan Coffee shop friend of @samucl-kane Friend and mild flirtation of @xlalitax Babysitter for @delilahcarreno Friend of @lucianaxalvarez

wanted connections.  ( wip )

///: ///

[liquidstar]

my big fat greek wedding is the realest greek rep in mainstream american media, not because its completely accurate- a lot is rooted in lighthearted sort of self-stereotypes, and is overall pretty shallow if youre looking for legitimate emotionally resonate representation of any kind. BUT thats also EXACTLY what makes it vibe w so many greeks anyway because we hardly ever see those very specific little eccentricities even mentioned, letalone be made the focal point, so we kind of love making fun of it in a way thats like "oh my god thats JUST like my thio maki!!! and thats just like thia calliope!!! oh fuck that ones just like me"

all things considered i dont think greek representation is like the most important ever or anything, but its so rare to see greece acknowledged beyond ancient stuff or mythology, or maybe the occasional jab at eastern europe, that its just... fun to see yourself and your family a little bit on the tv. it doesnt really get into the super deep parts of the culture or anything like that but its fine bc its fun. i think most greek families (esp of diaspora) have bonded to this movie because theyre just like us for real. before this, i think the closest thing id seen to actual greek rep on tv was from an episode of the suite life on deck where it was mainly just an eastern europe stereotype 😭 abt being hairy and playing with pig guts as balloons and shit idk. i mean also true but in a way that comes off as more mean spirited lol. but even then i was excited just to see our flag on tv and remember pointing at it to my mom so i cant say it was the worst. but hey!

anyway i like my big fat greek wedding a lot, wanna see the 3rd sometime too but never got around to it. it just vibes and is fun. and again like i said before, greek rep wasnt the most important thing ever growing up (even if it is super cool to see and does make me very happy to have our culture acknowledged outside of ancients!) but it does make me understand why representation is important in a more general way and why it means so much to people. and i also understand that it can mean a whole lot more to people whove been historically treated way worse by media. like, lack of acknowledgement is one thing, but outright malicious stereotypes are another. i do get this with lgbt+ rep too but since i was lucky enough to be born in a time where its becoming the norm i also cant imagine how it must have seen so much worse and then live in a world where every cartoon has 2 girls kissing. its not perfect and often corporate but... also a good sign

sorry this post is super stream of consciousness so its probably all over the place but i think my general thoughts are that ppl who shit on a series for having any kind of representation they dislike (being "too progressive" or something) is not only an awful unsympathetic person but also like. on the flip side will never know the joy of seeing yourself like that. but i do realize it also comes with the tradeoff of not being seen to begin with so its not like its a net positive but... those ppl still wont know! they will not understand the true joys of "[country] mentioned!!!!" when the country is The United States Of America. the end