#thats a lie it want them to be healthy but still

[lovelikeghossts]

I've been reaching out to other women about female masculinity, and it's making my heart more at ease. It's so much more than what I originally thought. I had this vague definition of what I saw the media portray it as, but it's nothing like that at all. There's so much that I enjoy now that I can continue enjoying and don't have to give up just because I want to explore a new side of myself, and I'm so happy to find that out.

[locrianking]

nothing pisses me off more than how figure skating reporters/news will constantly and intentionally leave out important details of stories in order to produce ragebait for people who don’t know anything about figure skating

[sk3l3t0n1n]

i hate my body so much :)

[stonerfromlesbos]

✦ driver’s license | b.e

✦ warnings: angst, mentions of; addiction & relapse, !reader has a later on, and i think thats it!

✦ summary: you really mattered to her as much as she does to you? and if she did, why would she leave you like that?

"promise me that we will stick together no matter what happens, i don´t care about your addictions or problems, i want to be with you billie." you said looking deeply at billie´s light blue eyes, they would just drawn all your attention towards them.

"i promise you, ma chérie." she said staring at your face with an gentle smile while her hand stroked your cheek carefully, almost like she was scared to break you.

deep down, you knew it was a lie, but you wanted to believe her so bad. you needed to believe her, it was your only hope. but why you wanted billie to keep lying to your face? at least she would still be with you... right? why can´t you respect yourself even a little? why do you wish do much that she would text you on a random day?

you just couldn´t forget her, it felt so wrong, forgetting her was like ignoring a part of you. A part that you wouldn´t be able to erase, even if you wanted to. and god you were so fucking happy with her, did she even felt half of the things you felt around her? and if she did, how dare her leave you like that?

she just vanished away from your life after a relapse, you remember it all vividly. you were the one who found her, who took her to the hospital, who took her back home...you blamed yourself so much for those 2 hours that you went grocery shopping, all you remember was coming back home and not finding her there.

"i can´t do this anymore, not with you."

"you deserve better, someone who doesn´t makes you cry."

"don´t wait for me, please"

"you deserve to be happy, with someone healthy."

"i wish you the best, ma chérie."

you´d still remember soaking the letter she left behind with tears, why she couldn´t understand that you didn´t want someone "better" you wanted billie, her skin, her flesh, her bones, her soul. all about her was beautiful to you, every single part of her. but after seven years... you had to move on.

even if you didn´t want to.

other girl was in your arms now, and her big blue eyes would just remember you from billie. your little daughter was your whole world now, you moved to an bigger town, got an new job. but you didn´t felt capable of loving someone romantically, it just felt wrong.

"come on, its christmas, cher would like it too." your friend, lissie, was sittin on your dinner table, trying to convince you to take a walk in the city, your four-year-old daughter would just look at lissie and smirk, nodding her head.

"okay, but quick, i really need to sleep." you said giving in to them, they highfived happily as you giggled.

"seriously, lissie... you´re worse than cher." you said mocking her playfulness.

now, all three of you were bundled up with warm clothes, walking around an very crowded park. the lights were bright yellow, it just felt magical, being with your daughter and with your best friend who would drop anything to help you, no matter how important it was. you were scanning the crowd as your eyes meet with familiar ones.

you could recognize those eyes from a far, the only ones who could make you be drawn into them. it was like the whole world stopped in those seconds.

billie was there, but she wasn´t alone.

her eyes look at yours, for you, it seemed like she looked at you for decades, but it didn´t last even five seconds.

billie´s eyes returned to the blonde woman by her side, opening an wide gentle smile as her arm was crossing the woman´s neck and they walked away. she quickly goes out of your view... you suddenly feel something holding your leg.

"mommy?" your daughter´s big light blue eyes were looking up at you.

"lets go home, cherie."

I CRIED SO MUCH WRITING THIS OMFG

✦ taglist: @chrissv4mp @karaeilishh @iluvapplesxh @hkkuugu @camrenfavs

[aurae-rori]

Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au

( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)

hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses

hcs about ratio:

still a doctor still has 8 phds

knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion

has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house

once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)

has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians

can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off

used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time

hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)

eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for

enjoys occasionally a rum & coke

really likes lattes and london fogs

had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified

fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos

he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them

massive nerd & dork

undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma

really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy

wrings his hands when he's really happy

touch starved

makes really good soup

hopeless romantic

more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.

doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....

cannot not wear socks he will die without them

cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now

aventurine hcs:

still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too

really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-

big fan of sheep and peacocks

eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating

bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)

masks so often its insane

used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio

still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck

really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death

cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen

very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him

horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that

can do a backflip (why? idk)

high pain tolerance

has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him

numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.

i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon

starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along

loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why

once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that

listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)

MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN

accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection

buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.

his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)

motor skills can and will die on him occasionally

unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys

he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)

second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.

the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.

(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)

them together hcs!!!!

ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)

ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it

aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio

aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins

ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard

at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)

aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad

they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other

aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired

ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots

they kiss <33333333333

they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed

ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them

they are gay and in love and healthy actually

they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.

they get married <333

this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.

[ravenbloodshot]

How Riize Members Argue Tarot Reading

Overall, the way they handle disagreements

They can get very passionate and be quite stubborn about things they feel their right about. But there's still an energy of holding back, not completely going off or being too direct. Almost like they know that keeping the peace is vital even when they are angry with each other. I heard "I still have to see them in the morning." They keep things respectful but they still argue their points to the fullest.

I get a vibe that members apologize a lot after fights. Even if a member was in the right, they still apologize and hug it out after the fight settles.

I feel like most arguments are about teaching/letting another member know what one is and not okay with. Boundary setting

Now let's see how they individually argue

Eunseok

He's quite assertive and direct when he argues. Not one to give up easily even when others don't understand what he's mad about, he still says how he feels. He's very stern as well, it would be quite hard to ignore him or purposely play stupid. He's like "nah, your wrong about xyz. Don't do that again".

He keeps a cool, calm, and collected demeanor about him. Not very phased by what the other person says, just wishes to get his point across and be done with it.

Sohee

Sohee is more meek, timid and holds back from arguing even if he's in the right. He's the type to talk to other members about what he's upset about instead of directly addressing the member he has a problem with. It's like a vibe of gathering witnesses and allies so that they could stand up for him. Almost like he doesn't want to confront anybody by himself (tbh he doesn't want to confront anybody at all)

He's not very secure and firm with his points when he argues. For example, if he was to confront someone and they gave any kind of push back, he would just drop it or play if off like "oh maybe I misunderstood the situation."

Sungchan

He's not confrontational as well. Likes to always appear as peaceful and happy (probably doesn't like the feeling of being angry, so he kind of avoids that emotion).

He's another one that would go talk to others about his problem instead of addressing the person he has a problem with. But he may only talk about what the other person did that was wrong, never tell what wrong he may have did.

I feel like he's the type to have a problem setting up boundaries. Doesn't stand up for himself either. For example, let's say a member would always make a mess of the kitchen every time they made food. Instead of Sungchan telling them to clean up after themselves, he would clean the mess up himself. And maybe say a few passive-aggressive comments

Anton

Does not argue in a healthy way. He can become VERY disrespectful when he's upset. He's the type to roast and make fun of the person he has a disagreement with. It could just be that most of the arguments/fights he's been in were with people that were equally as disrespectful and aggressive. But I do see that he still has a problem with calmly arguing his points without spewing insults and malicious comments

He's one of those ppl that would talk about how much money he has and how he is of a greater status when he argues. "Your not even on my level level" "your a brokie, a straight bum". Not gonna lie, his roasts can be pretty funny if your not at the receiving end of it.

Overall, he can become quite egotistical when he argues.

Shotaro

He's the definition of "the calm before the storm" or "fuck around and find out". He initially keeps a calm disposition when he's confronting/arguing with someone. But thats as long as the other person has that same energy, as soon the other person wants to get loud and rowdy that's when he will give that same energy back. And he's not one to be messed with

He does still have a mature and peacekeeping way about him (this side of him is especially reserved for when he argues with ppl he cares about). But there is another side of him that can be very petty, vengeful and antagonistic. All depends on how you come at him plus the scale of how much he gives af about you

Wonbin

I heard "he's not" when I asked how does he argue and handle disagreements. I found it strange that the message was "he's not" and not "he doesn't". It makes me think that no matter how much of disagreement someone has with him , he won't engage in arguing, there's literally no point in confronting him. It reminds me of a King during ancient times that would have lords and townsfolk come to him with their problems, as the King he would listen and say his piece. That's the end. There's no argument. You visited the King, said what you needed, he gives a comment or two, and then your dismissed. (Lol his energy is hilarious, if only I could be this regal when I argue).

He does listen and hear ppl out. But I don't feel like he says much. Even with his lack of engagement, he likely still is someone others don't stay mad at for long. Probably bc he himself isn't mad at the other person so even if they hold a grudge against him he would act like everything is fine (bc technically everything would be fine on his end). The type to invite them to hang out and chill minutes after an "argument".

[lotus-pear]

Can we stop acting like dazai was the devil. Like yes he did bad things but he was a child. He was 15 alone and in the mafia where althe was told to do was bad things. ALL dazai knew how to do is lie and deceive because it what he's always had to do.it's self preservation. Like??? When will people realize dazai wasn't a monster and was justa child brought up in an Unsafe and abusive environment. Behaviors are learned your aren't born with them. Dazai was a suicidal child just trying to survive all'he knew was manipulation and Iying because that's all he was taught. He abused akutagawa because that's all he was taught. And as he got older it's all he knows how to do. Obviously he's gotten better but he's still morally grey. And that's ok but it's not enough to call him a monster. hes trying so so hard to change, and even if he may not realise it or cling guiltily to his past, the entire prison arc shows how much effort hes put in to become a better person it isnt easy, growing up exposed to death/violence resulting in empathy and apathy issues, all while battling an emptiness inside thats slowly eating up ones will to live. hes genuinely trying to recover from that period of his life, and i cannot express how proud i am solely because of that. hes finally found a healthy environment, a family, and he deserves it along with so much more. he may be deemed as a “monster“ in the past, that cannot be erased, but he hates that part about himself too. being in the good or bad used to make no difference to him, but i strongly believe it does hate that part of him.  Dazai slander are fún and everything - BUT people seem to not get his character right. No, he's not an edgy boy. He genuinely wants to change for the best to make Oda proud, 'BUT HE ABUSED AKUTAGAWA’ , yeah, Akutagawa abused Kyoka and nobody is talking about how its litterally GENERATIONAL TRAUMA. Dazal was never raised correctly, he got raised by Mori and used by him to make him his right hand, maybe because of his ability, or he saw potential in him. He never fell parental Love nor being special to Someone except for Oda. "He LEFT Chuuya!!!“ ok and? Chuuya doesn't need him to live: Dazai LITTERALLY SAW PEOPLE GETTING KILLED/KILLING THEM ON THE DAILEY (AND HE WITNISSED ODAS DEATH - THE ONLY PERSON THAT MADE HIM WANT TO CHANGE.) his eyes at the age of 14, and Mori made him live in a shipping container. Obviously he is not gonna feel human after all this.

And about him and chuuya - the thing is they DO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. but nobody seems to care about chuuya other than the fact hes hot asf anf the fact that he is ’super mega gay for dazai 🥺🥺🥺’ because are we reading/watching the same series???? There’s SO MUCH to his character too!!!! But all everyone talks about with him is with dazai, chuuyas character is CRAZY WELL WRITTEN and everyone dumbs it down to ‘he’s an angry short boy with a god inside him and he’s mega gay for dazai and he’s also really hot’ like no - stfu he’s not actually super hot headed and it’s CANNON he’s usually pretty calm and collected. On the other side of the coin is that dazai DOES care about him - in Stormbringer ; Dazai literally willing gave Chuuya an option to either use corruption on Verlaine when he used his true form or to retreat and not do it, which gave a sense of Dazai giving Chuuya the choice to do what he wants without forcing him to, and the fact that when Chuuya used corruption, he was being injured badly to the point where Abahabaki was going to destroy Chuuya which FREAKED DAZAI OUT , and the fact that Dazai certainly believes that Chuuya is human shows that Dazai does care about Chuuya in certain ways without showing due to afraid of losing someone he cares about. and In age 15 Dazai, was willing to help Chuuya to find Abahabaki and defeat Rimbaud, along with stormbringer with him helping Chuuya to find out if he's human or not and to defeat Verlaine.

Ty for reading my rant 💞💞💞💞

i can't tell if this is attacking me or just a rant in general but anyway YESSSSS I 100% AGREE YOU ATE W THAT ANALYSIS BRIAR‼️‼️

[grellestie]

literally cannot stop having sebagrelle thoughts

im about to be so obnoxious

imagining sebastian slowly falling for her but in his own demonic way. he starts off as being annoyed and slowly gets used to her antics before he realizes he actually does have some sort of feeling outside of resentment.

grelle would be completely oblivious and just enjoys having someone who enables her general bullshit. does she know it's bad? yeah but thats why shes having someone whispering in her ear to do it.

it's more like a devil on her shoulder than an actual good healthy relationship but if it's healthy, it's not victorian

them accidentally meeting at places but mutually decide to just be neutral since they have so much on their plate already.

imagine the conversations they would have... i feel like it would get somewhat philosophical intertwined with whatever's on grelle's mind.

she will be going from how she's stressed about her job to explaining her apathy when handling souls which she knows he would understand. ofc making jokes poking at how she's probably making him hungry- much to sebastian's dismay.

i could see one night grelle accidentally getting too cuddly with him when they're talking on her bed and falling asleep on him.

it's like a dilemma to him because he wants to push her off but she's soooo peaceful and sooo cute when she's not trying to attack him and- oh he's pushing her off the bed then trying to lie and say she rolled off herself.

they're the type of couple that would tease the everloving hell out of each other and ofc go wayyy too far but still adore each other (sebastian somewhat but grelle definitely)

i love when grelle is portrayed as a cracked mirror to sebastian. they mutually understand each other but there's so much that's different and so much they couldn't possibly understand

like why grelle would feel so mixed on killing her previous master or why sebastian didn't kill her and wanted to torture her (basically) instead or why grelle bothers to stay with a dispatch that doesn't trust her and underestimates her talents or why sebastian doesn't just get ciel killed anyway

i feel like they'd ask questions about each other that would just be so prying to other but it's okay because it's mutual. they're intentionally seeing who would crack first and try to theorize as to why.

oh and def post-ciel, sebastian is visiting grelle a lot more often and they're free to do more together. they also don't have to worry about leaving each other's scent or hairs on each other

and ik yana said that grelle would get "bored" if sebastian hit on her and yeah, i agree. but cmon, he's not hitting her in the traditional way. he's doing it as a demonic being that doesn't understand his emotions yet he knows he wants her more but can't put it in a way that she would understand.

[yippeeometer]

u said send u ships so I offer IndiBama if u have anything

indi is my beautiful little princess i want nothing more than for him to be happy. however it is not my fault his taste in men is godawful so we'll just have to work with what we have.

i just think neither of them are particularly functional so it would take the combined efforts of the west, south and midwest to force them together and it would still take months.

bama could be on one knee proposing and indi would still be texting illi like 'r u sure he likes me'. indi could be like 'i need u carnally' and bama would still relay it back to tenn and geo like it was just a normal conversation between friends.

they have so many bets on when they'll actually get together and they always go wrong. the Great Easter Crisis of Ohio being when they found indi and bama all curled up together and ohio thought he'd finally won the bet, only for indi to say 'were such best friends' and him to lose his shit.

oh and when they do get together. dear god they become worse. theyre the most insufferable couple youve ever met i mean that.

like misery comes to indi upset about his most recent situationship. indi its just like oh.... have u tried telling him ur sad.... forgetting of course that not everyone has the gift of magical puppy eyes and a weak boyfriend. misery is unable to contain himself

and thats why theyre disgustingly healthy in a world full of lunatics screaming and yelling at each other. indi says whatever he wants and bama just goes w it bc his boyfriend is super cool who's he to bring a king down.

and i think the toxic masculinity u built there will be breaking soon pal. bama thinks hes well adjusted until indi calls him pretty one time and he has to go lie down in a dark room for a while to recover

super insanley healthy behavior it makes me unwell. theres communication and everything. theyre a rare breed in the world of the statehouse considering everyone else is commicating through petty revenge and attacks.

like they suddenly have been married 80 years? and theyre making pie? what the fuck is this

[boopshoops]

💆 and 🏘 for yuu if thats alright?

OK- so a lot of yall asked for the same emojis SO i'm gonna format Yuu's all in one post then do another for Jocia+Ezra-

UHHH DJJDJD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN CHARACTER so lets say the default text is me/narrator then orange is Yuu

@ceruleancattail @the-trinket-witch @rabioa @scint1llat3

💆how do you relax?

"Well, let's get right into it then, shall we?" Yuu clasped her hands together, a sly smile spreading onto her lips, "Relaxation... well I guess listening to music would be my go to. Genre doesn't matter to me mostly," The woman tapped her chin, lightly humming as she thought, "Though I suppose my definition of 'relaxing' isn't exactly universal... I often enjoy getting up and around and even dancing a bit, maybe having a quick chat as well... it helps me center myself. Too many thoughts in this big brain of mine sometimes!~ A way to focus is most definitely what relaxation is to me. Some people find it chaotic, but I don't care about some people. It's fun to me. Besides, it's not like I never sit down and rest."

🏘️where's your happy place?

"Huh... some of these questions are rather deep, aren't they?" Yuu cleared her throat, doing her best to keep a neutral expression, "Much like a lot of people, my happy place isn't an actual PLACE. It is more like a state. All that being said, I'm... not quite sure. Not to say that I'm not happy, of course! There are hard times and good times, but I suppose I'm still trying my best to find such a 'place' for me in this new world. Let's call this one a work in progress, yes? I'll get there eventually, not to worry. I have my plans, of course~"

✏️What are your hobbies?

"Oh! This is a fun one. I'm a musician. I have been taking band and theater courses my whole life," Yuu lifted her head triumphantly, gladly taking the opportunity to brag, "Singing, acting, playing instruments... I managed to get into a pretty prestigious performing arts school back home, and what more could one ask for than to spend their life doing what they love?" Her peppiness suddenly dropped, resulting in a roll of her eyes, "Not that it's useful now that I'm stuck here though. Damn Crowley."

🥣what's your favorite food?

"Bungeoppang!" The prefect chirped, leaning forward in her (imaginary) seat for this (imaginary) interview, "Or, ah- taiyaki, or bread with a sweet red bean filling. I was trying to learn more about my ancestry, and came across this pastry thanks to my father. Originally I didn't think I was the biggest fan of sweets, but, wow~ Only then, after I fell in love with it, did I learn it wasn't even a traditional dish from my father's home... figures. Nonetheless! You'll have to try some!"

"Ah, Here's a fun fact for you, I learned the language a long time ago along with trying to learn more about my family's history, but no one here seems to recognize it, which... makes sense, I guess. It was a bummer at first, but then I learned I can simply say whatever I want without them understanding me. What a breath of fresh air~"

The woman momentarily giggled, "...배고파요"

🙂where do your morals lie?

"Hmph. What a complete 180 of a question..." Her lips pursed into a pout. She offered up a quick glare, but it didn't last very long at all, "I'm just trying my best to exist and let others exist at the moment!" She beamed with the flip of a switch, her suspiciously innocent smile nearly blinding. She kept this one brief. Barely an answer.

🥰do you think you're attractive?

"Yes," The woman answered... almost too quickly, "I like how I look. I spend a lot of time on myself, so it's only natural to get a bit of an ego boost from that, yes? Confidence is a healthy thing! I spent a lot of time carefully crafting my sense of style, it makes me feel... like me." Yuu momentarily fluttered her lashes, accompanied by laughter through a rhythmic tease, "Come onnnn~ you get it, right? You know I'm just a sweetheart? Completely innocent and well-meaning? Aren't I just like a princess? Of COURSE I'm attractive."

😍are you a romantic?

"....Hm," The woman paused, thinking deeply about the question in a moment of silence, "It depends on what your definition of 'romantic' is in this case, but I'd say I'm rather neutral. It's been awhile since I've been in a relationship myself, so I can't really say for sure..." Yuu tilted her head, crossing one leg over the other as she leaned back in her seat. Striking a pose to simply ponder.

"I'm not a hopeless romantic, but I highly value romantic gestures. Does that make sense? I particularly value physical touch along with gift receiving as far as love language goes. At least, that's how it used to be with my ex-girlfriend. I don't think that has changed too much. So, hey! If you're interested, feel free to just hand over your credit card as a gift, I'll get back to you," The woman finished with a joke, attempting to turn the mood away from being sour.

"ALSO HELLO YUU SHI YOU ARE GORGEOUS HELLO LIKE ARE YOU AN ANGLE FROM HEAVEN??? CAUSE YOU'RE A-CUTE"

The prefect blinked, leaving an uncomfortable amount of awkward silence as she read the words on the page of (imaginary) interview questions.

She held back a snort, doing her best to hide a guilty grin along with her horrible sense of humor, "Wh-Who wrote this? Who wrote these questions?" She giggled to herself, setting down the page in finality, "Sevens, that's awful... I love it. I'm well aware, but thank you. I needed the laugh today."

"Will that be all?"

Ask game!

[mamadarama]

Back to thinking about rare pairs whether it be platonic or whatever I genuinely think IzuMeru is so funny. You think these two would be neutral with each other considering how good HiMERU is at his job and how perfectly he does it. There should be nothing for Izumi to criticize but LO AND BEHOLD HiMERU is the one starting beef and while during Midnight Butlers it was justifiable, filming is tight and all. But they just. Kept at each other's throats afterward 😭

In whispering marina HiMERU is the one to crack through Izumi's lie and help him out, so the trip was worthwhile for their characters. Other than that, there's very few people HiMERU has any noteworthy connections with. He's especially protective and wants to be close to Kohaku, often pampering him which I think is bc Kohaku reminds him of Kaname (the hair, the uniform, the innocence and attitude). He's okay with Niki in a sense that he doesn't have to keep Niki on a leash as much as MOTHERFUCKING Rinne who triggers his fight response instantly. He's otherwise avoiding Jun, complex about Tatsumi, keeps Ibara at arm's length (not that he's mutually interested in connecting anyways)

And then I don't know what his deal with Izumi is. They just fight like street cats in a passive aggressive way. I love the way they pick fights with each other. Not as intense as RinHime but still petty and pretty funny like the enbies are FIGHTINGGGGG I could go on but I don't think people on this blog are too interested in either Izumi or Himeru so I digress. I love their beef.

Madayume 🍀 @umiedibles

lol yeah it is. himeru and izumi have a healthy rivalry and the way i see it himeru being so good at his job is a major part of the catalyst for it. theyre both models and izumi sees himeru as a threat . not to his career, but to his pride. hes one of the best models in es and hes familiar with all the other models and where they stand in relation to him. then himeru comes into the picture, just as talented and prideful as izumi , and suddenly he feels like his reputation is under siege . it was pretty bad in midnight butlers but after they got acquainted with each other and izumi had a general idea of what himerus deal was and realized he had no interest in displacing izumi, it became more of a healthy professional rivalry that encourages both of them to work harder as idols and models. himeru is the perfect person for this bc they think similarly and have similar personalities making it way easier to understand each other without talking , and thats why he was the first one to see through izumis bullshit in whispering marina. they arent exactly friends; they have a very professional relationship. they wouldnt go out for coffee together, but they will support each others work. part of a good rivalry is casual competition. the goal isnt to win or greatly surpass the other, its to repeatedly one up the other person. and that means if one of them is falling behind, the other will make an effort to bring them back up to their own level so they can continue being evenly matched. but also theres no denying that theyre similar enough personalities that if they try and talk to each other theyre gonna clash, and thats why theyre so passive aggressive when they interact .

[furiousgoldfish]

Damn i was not expecting the "#tw extreme abuse", thank you very much for your words though

I might be able to help the person who asked about healthy relationships though, ive made a lot of good relationships despite my family:

Communication

•above all else, communicate. Tell them about yourself. Learn about them. Get to know eachother! Likes, dislikes. Boundaries especially! Check in on them. Just a quick hi once in a while can do wonders (lots of relationships fail due to lack of communication or miscommunication)

•listen to eachother

Arguements

•if something happens you can always walk away, make sure the other person understands that they can as well. Take time to collect yourselves and explain later why your upset

•be clear and ask for clarification where you need it

•fights can be scary but dont think that someone will leave you after one

•try to steer clear of insults/threats/blackmail if your angry, thats hard to repair after

Trust

•i know its hard to trust and you can take all the time you need to learn how, but making healthy relationships is a good way to learn trust.

•Dont lie to them or you will get caught up in trying to keep it under wraps (unless its to protect your safety, in that case maybe being around this person is not a good idea), not only will they not trust you but you wont give yourself the opportunity to trust them

Kindness

•be nice. Its simple. Good people, the people that will make for great friends/support/family will be kind back! Go out and meet people! Youll make friends! Just give yourself a chance!

•treat other how you deserve to be treated, with all the love and kindess you should have gotten! They will pay it back, they will love you!

Other notes

•express interest in their interests. You dont have to be a big fan, people will want to show you what they like when they like you. They're sharing something special to them. So ask about it! You dont have to engage much with it, but show them their interests have value. It will make them really happy, and they should be open to yours as well.

•do fun shit together! Something you both enjoy! If there isnt anything that overlaps you can do your own stuff in eachothers company. Just hanging out with them is enough.

•being able to love someone else, is to love yourself. You're filled with so much compassion and care for this person, and they will feel the same. They will be their to love you when life hits the fan.

•again take your time, it can be hard to get right. If it doesn't work out thats an experience you can carry into the next relationship, something to learn from.

Caution:

-make sure they actually make you happy and treat you well, not that theyre just the first person you could latch onto

-make sure you both have personal freedoms, your loyalty to eachother should not come at that cost

-keep yourself safe, safety comes first

Finding good people is a very important one as well, if anyone needs i could try explaining that too. Hope this helps.

Hey thank you for sending this manual!

Yeah your situation is extreme, I'm thinking about you and hoping that you get to experience freedom.

Your manual sounds really nice and is filled with common sense, and I've been following these types of guidelines for most of my life, but still had absolutely no luck. The thing is, this would work if you're surrounded with kind, understanding, non-abusive, friendly people who also just wanted to be friends with you and reciprocate and earn your trust and keep you in your life.

However a lot of people will see your friendly, kind, compassionate and communicative nature and decide to make use of it. It's been the hardest thing for me to realize when the other person is just pretending to be friendly back, in order to exploit me. It's really difficult to take distance from someone when they make you feel guilty for it and attack you for it, and it's hard to not feel guilty and betrayed when it happens. Manipulative people make great use of trust and communication you give them! Treating them with love and kindness will often get you in a situation where love and kindness will be expected, or demanded out of you, while you find yourself unable to ask even for some patience and space for yourself. And I'm worried that this is the situation for most abused people, we're often trying so hard to be kind, communicative, trusting, interested, loyal, patient, giving, caring, compassionate, and they zero in on that and eat it up, taking some time to make us let our guard down, before they start banking on us being in their service.

I have been trying to find good people all of my life, and fell unsuccessful, and I've tried hundreds of people, created a system of red flags that make me drop them, and had to drop pretty much everyone. And it's not as if this manual is generally bad, or I've just sucked so much at communicating and building boundaries, it's just, really difficult after abuse to feel okay around people, and to not be bothered by some of their manipulative nature - it hurts us more than it hurts others.

So even as I'm really bad with people, I can't recommend being very kind, trusting or communicative, of course it's nice if you can be that and not get hurt for it, but I absolutely cannot. It never happened once in my life, that someone returned the same kindness, love and care I gave them, and it often broke my heart. I would have to be very naive to still believe that I just haven't done it for the right person - hundreds of people reacted similarly, took what they could, then either turned on me, hurt me and pretended it was okay and I should stop being sensitive, or abandoned me altogether if I ever stood up to them.

This all is not your fault, and I can completely understand how you sent in these instructions with best of intentions, sincerely believing that this is the key to healthy relationships. It seemed like that to me too, when I was younger! I fully believed this would work, kind people would see me and return the kindness, it would be okay. The only thing I can recommend is the stuff you have under caution - if someone fails to reciprocate, or reciprocates at first and then stops reciprocating, get distance. If your freedom around this person is limited, get away, get distance. If they start treating you worse at any point, get distance. It's not worth ending up in another abusive, neglected or scary situation just for the hope of human connection. And it's also really difficult for an abused person tell when they're being neglected, treated badly or their kindness is not reciprocated, just because we've already been used to so much worse, so anyone not outright threatening to kill us seems like a nice enough person who deserves our whole heart. They often do not.

[nightswithkookmin]

I love Hobi, God knows I do and he is enlisting soon. I get that. Me is ot7 anyday of the week. But here lies my issue;

FACE lasted on there 👇🏽 for all of 2 minutes

Then look how close their release dates are.

Members so far have gotten to promote their shit with no interruptions but Jimin has to share the limelight❓❓❓ For whatever reason. And people are gonna keep yapping about how he's the company's favorite? Ain't no such thing man, Fuck outta here!

I'm on pills and that's not even working

First off, I think two things can be true at once. Jm could be hybe's favorite idol and still get screwed up by hybe💀

Ain't nobody following the script like Park Jimin, ain't nobody fetching them coins and attention like Park Jimin. He's the korean IT Boy brand reputation king. Hybe's gotta love him and if they don't fuck them. They ain't shit anyways😌

This whole shmelly business has me between rocky and palm face won't lie. And any comment I make on this will fetch me some heat but here goes nothing. On one hand I love me some healthy idol competition up in BAngtan to see who outsells who and who out performs who- makes for quality entertainment if you ask me.

but on the other hand, I just hate blatant injustices and this right here is the mother of all injustices. It's just atrocious and wrong. It's not really a fair competition if some have more resources, more exposure and more corporate support now is it?

What is good for the goose is good for the gander and I'm just not seeing the fair equitable distribution of company resources on this one. Hybe needs to wash their ass with soap. It stinks from all the shitting they be shitting out here.

It's one thing if they are doing it on purpose but if all this is just one big coincidence as a result of their lack of thoughtfulness and awareness in handing these boys' marketing then I'm sorry someone needs to get skinned up in there. Yea I said it. Off with their heads.

Knowing hybe it's either they think JM has enough organic traction to sell on his own- matter fact, when it comes to the maknae line vs the hyung line this is very often the approach but we don't talk about that💀

I remember they did the same thing around the time of covid right before BTS announced they were going solo. I remember ranting about how they were deliberately sabotaging BTS to promote the other brands under hybe.

It's not uncommon for hybe to use the influence, reach and relevance of one brand to cross promote another. Yall recieved the weird notifications from certain brands on Weverse?

Whe it comes to the hyung line, the company goes a little bit hard and extra each time and they often do this with the members they think are least likely to perform in terms of numbers.

However, this time around, I think it has something to do with the enrollment list? Don't know, could be wrong. The thought that JM or Namjoon is next after Hobi makes me sick to the tummy and I hope I'm wrong 😭😭😭

I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they going off of the enlistment list and need to do whatever they can for Hobi before he leaves.

Besides, I think If they were to treat the members equally and not equitably, I'm afraid some members wouldn't do as well- phpah pah paw. Gunshots😭😭

I know they think Jimin has the numbers, and he will do great in spite of these hurdles- but see, that's how we lose. THATS HOW WE FUCKING LOSE when everyone stops pushing cos they think this is an easy win!

I've seen Bangtan lose and come close to losing awards because of mentalities like this for me to sit quietly and watch it happen to Park Jimin. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

But then i also dont see him as competing against the hyung line you know? What are they competing for? Those two have totally different audiences and need unique market approaches and strategies to reach them💀

And I'm not just talking about reaching just army.

I would be concerned if they started using the same promotional strategy of a rapper for a singer.

If anything, I think JMs competition is the Maknae line and probably Jin too as he is also part of the vocal line. Therefore I feel I don't have a yardstick to measure him against yet as neither Jungkook nor Tae's album has been released- right?

But wait till it's JK or Taehyung's turn and let me see different treatment out here- I DARE THEM

If hybe thinks they are just going to gloss over things and sweep JMs album debut under the rags then they have another thing coming. They should plant their feet on solid grounds cos I'm about yanking the ground from underneath them.

They are going to leave everything on the shoulder of the fans and then swoop in last minute to claim they did shit for the BOYS when things turn out great.

They should show me the budget they have for each members' promotional package. Let's start there. Cos that determines how and where each member gets promoted.

On the flip side, having those two contents out around the same time reduces promotion costs as such content tend to cross promote eachother. Face will definitely drive traffic to Hobi's content as will Hobi's content to Face.

Personally I wished they would release vminkook albums consecutively within a short span of eachother. People listening to face will be more likely to click on Jk's song and Tae's right after. It keeps the fans engaged, keeps the momentum going and keeps all three trending on the charts making it hard for an outsider to break the chain.

They could have done same for the hyung line too.

All this seem to lack direction and each day my non existent faith in hybe wanes.

I hope the end would justify the means. Hopefully. I'm gonna sit tightly out here and watch it all play out to the credits and then I will comment on it😌

Hybe brought them this far, I should at least hope they know what the hell they are doing. But if Face pays the price for their edgy endeavors then I shouldn't be held responsible for the hex I put on them.

It's funny how you say Jimin is about to share the limelight when he's actually about to eat Hobi up😭😭

Gotta run 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️

[flaxen-kittie]

Just imagine

Just imagine what its like

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the most traumatic day of my life

(Trauma dumping under cut, heavy tw for abuse and sa)

I was in a bad place with a bad guy

I was 13 at the time and i was so scared

I had nobody to talk to at this point and i got desperate so i went to the police but they didn’t believe me they asked to do a rape kit but i was too scared to let anyone touch me, he found out it was me tgat called them after they investigated him and he was so angry at me

He covinced me he wasnt and asked to go on a drive and i belived him like the fucking idiot i am

He stabbed me with his hunting knife

It was cerated so it ripped the wound, the feeling of the cold blade indide me but it was so warm from the blood

It was in my stomach

He then raped me

It wasn’t the first time but it was one of the worce

He kept the knife in

Once he was done he threw me out somewhere i didnt know

I had to walk home bleeding allover myself

I got inside and just sat waiting to fucking die

My parents were out and i was too scared to call the police

That was what caused this after all

I fully believed I was going to die

When they got home the bleeding had mostly stopped as i has tried stiching myself up with was so aweful

They though i did it myself and just left me in the room

As they say anything i do to myself is my problem for me to handle

It was hours until they took me to the hospital saying i did it to myself

No one believed me

No one tried to help

No one wanted to help

It was a few weeks later that i was mostly healed

I heal fast after all

He invited me over

I was too scared to refuse so i went

Three of his friends were there

They gang raped me on that fucking couch

Took pictures and videos

Spat on me

Hit me

It hurt so bad

I usualy dont remember but everything is so clear right now

I still feel everything

I remember everything

Every hit

Every hand grabbing me

Every time they laughed at me begging for them to stop

He still blackmails me with those videos

Makes me do things i dont want to with tge threat if showing my friends

When i said i fidnt care it was a lie but he didnt know

He just found where they lived and said he would do the same to them

That is what love was to me

After all that i still believed he loved me

Part of my still loves him abd he knows that

He still makes me do things i dont want to

He still hurts me

I can’t escape

Im so scared

My friend was tolf what was happening by others when it was private and she called the cops

If he finds out its all going to happen again but worce

The first time was a warning

This time hes going to kill me and i know i cant stop him

Hes stronger and bigger them me

He knows i cant say no to him

Iv been throwing up non stop out of fear

I dont want to die

I was finaly getting healthy

But i know ill still go back to him even if it will kill me

I love him

Part of me still wants him to kill me cause i know it will make him happy

Thats all i want

I would give my life for his approval

[desperate2lose]

hi, i’m Des. i haven’t had an @na/mi@ account since i was probably 14. that was the last time i was thin. all my life i have had weight issues, which i now know are due to PCOS (i’m ftm, have been for 12 yrs). the only 2 times i was ever thin were when i was 9 because i played sports, and when i was 14 because i was r3stricting. i’m 5’6, and i should be somewhere in the 120-150 range to be considered healthy. my lowest was 130 in high school. i’m currently at my highest, somewhere between 250-280. at about 18 i started ballooning, rapidly gaining weight no matter how much i worked out. since then i’ve rel@psed a couple times but it never stuck because i was so scared of being how i was in high school.

back then i was a zombie. due to mental health issues but also because of my ed. i was constantly tired and sad and i wanted to be a skeleton. i preferred being d3@d thin rather than fat and alive. i don’t feel that way anymore. i don’t want to be underw3ight, i don’t want to d!3. i want to be thin, i want to lose.

i’m aware that reverting to this lifestyle and r3stricting isn’t the healthy way to lose. however, it’s the only thing that has worked for me in the past. and i believe it’s the only way to regain my self control. i definitely b!nge sometimes for emotional reasons and i am not okay with that. whenever i’ve tried to diet in a “healthy” way, i fall off of it, or i don’t hold myself accountable enough.

i feel like i’m the type of person where if i say i’ll only eat 1200 cals it turns to 1500. if i say i’ll only eat omad it’ll end up being tmad. so my theory is that i have more than enough to lose, so if my goal is to eat n0thing, i’ll probably fail but still progress.

some things i’m trying to avoid:

• ending up malnourished

i plan on taking vitamins and if i do eat, making sure it’s the right type of food to get me thru my physical job/working out/life.

• my mental health declining

i’ve been working very hard on my mh and i’m not going to throw that away. so i’ll be tracking my moods and modifying what/how much i eat to keep myself stable.

• “⭐️vation mode”

i dont want to end up keeping my fat on because my body goes into this mode. so i’m gradually going to reduce my calories over probably 6 weeks.

• going under my ugw

if i even hit my ugw it’ll be a miracle, but i don’t want to become so @ddicted to r3stricting that i continue rather than maintaining if i eventually get there.

• my loved ones finding out

i plan on making it seem like im just changing my lifestyle. i don’t want to lie, so i’m hoping no one will notice.

• failing

pretty much the only perk of me being obese right now is that my doctor wants to put me on appetite suppressants. i just have to figure out which i’d rather have, do some bloodwork, and then i’m golden.

DISCLAIMERS

i’m not in the mindset to be swayed into not r3l@psing. so pls don’t try to convince me.

i’m not fatphobic. i don’t see anyone worth less no matter what their body looks like. this is solely about me and how i see myself.

i’m not into shaming/triggering each other on purpose to promote progress. you can do that but leave me out of it. if i see anyone insulting me, i’m blocking them, period.

i (in general, sometimes i have bad days) do not hate myself. i understand that this corner of the internet tends to have a lot of self hatred, sh, etc. that’s not where i am in life. this is strictly about w3ight to me. if you are sewer slidal, post sh, talk about sh, or constantly post self hatred, i probably won’t follow you. i hope you love yourself soon though.

any tips on how to lose/vitamins to take/recipes/etc are appreciated.

so thats basically it. im gonna be blogging some kind of mix between ana and d!et stuff. some healthy stuff. some not healthy stuff. i’m not trying to fit in any boxes, just trying to figure out what works for me because i am so fucking desperate to lose at this point.

[neotickles]

Ah yes I did manage to find consciousness and my little glasses.

Anyways, I was with some friends today and one of my friends kept stretching which made his shirt ride up a little bit so all day long I have been wanting to tickle someone's tummy. Then it, of course, made me think of you. So really I've been thinking about tickling your tummy all day.

All I could think about was helping roll your shirt up and ghosting my fingers along your tummy. Then once the effects from the light tickles started wearing off, I would jump right in to kneading your tummy. Which of course, I can't do for too long, you'll get too used to the feeling. So I will obviously switch to spidering my fingers across your tummy. However, I think you're still gonna get too used to that feeling so I figured we'd play a fun little game.

All you have to do is lie there. I'll raise your arms up over your head, and probably tie them just so we don't have to worry about your arms coming crashing down anytime soon. Then we'll start at the top. Right at the base of your wrist. I'll just slowly drag my fingers down your arms. My long nails trailing closer and closer to your underarms. That little bit of anticipation slowly building up. Closer, closer, closer. They'll keep working their way down your arm until they arrive right at those ticklish underarms. Then I'll spend just a couple minutes scribbling along there before continuing my trek down.

I'll start slowly dragging my fingers down towards your ribs, and you know while I'm down at your ribs I really think that we should double check and make sure they're all in the right spots. So I'll have to glide my fingers across each and every bone, and dig into the spaces in between. I'll probably even have to do it twice just to really make sure.

After we've confirmed all your ribs are in place and healthy we'll once again start our decent. My fingers will crawl their way down your sides, pinching and scribbling as they do. And while we're stopped at your sides I think we'll have to nibble along them at least a little bit. They just look too good not to. But as much fun as it is teasing your sides, I really think we need to head back to your tummy, huh?

So that's exactly what I'll do. I'll raise my hands high above your tummy, shaped into claws, ready to attack whenever. I'll start slowly lowering them towards your quivering tummy while wiggling my fingers. There's absolutely nowhere you can go, nothing you can do, all you can do is sit there and watch the slow decent before you're tickled into oblivion. Maybe to make it a little bit easier I'll count down...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

We'll have to wait and see what happens~

-X

OmygooshhhshshnxxksmkdmdnAAAAAAA

yea stretching with a shirt a bit too short is like, ASKIN for tummy tickles......not saying i would know of course hahahahahaahaha

underarms would kill me, thats a top spot rigjt there sjxnndk

AND WOOOW THAT COUNTDOWN!!! RUDE!! I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS DKDNKDJDKSNDKDKMDK