#thats a block from me bestie!

[trans-estinien]

THE ONE CULT FC HAS A TUMBLR.

[akkawi]

trying to get back into draiwng again forreal so i can do some 6 month overdue art trades and i started drawing bata but got way too into niche regional dress differences and realized that if she's from gunib district then she wouldn't wear this kind of headpiece and the clothes from gunib district are probably the most boring out of all of them in terms of jewelry etc so idk if i wanna transplant her to somewhere else or what.

[foxpunk]

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me

[demon-simper]

i literally did not know that sending a quitting telegram was actually FREE????? like. I was so ready to pay and they just. gave it to me lol

tbh its free real quitting (?)

[nexus-nebulae]

it's so dumb that we still feel awkward about creating willogenic headmates in our sys when we literally found out we were plural through the tulpa community

[arolesbianism]

Not to acknowledge homestuck's existence but if there's one thing that I legitimately like abt it that no one gets like I do it's troll romance. Aka I'm apparently the only fucker on planet earth who read the romance part of that. Can anyone hear me.

[phagodyke]

all i will say abt the new g*od *mens season is YAWWWWWN

[adviceformefromme]

My mom taught me something very important later in life.. To start saying thank you, when offered things, especially from men. I used to say no to my dad offering to buy me the special tea - even though thats all he could afford to treat me to, no to my friends wanting to grab the bill at dinner, no to the guy who wanted to take me shopping in mall. I said no because I wasn’t comfortable to receive. Subconscious feelings of unworthiness. That things needed to be equal, because why should I take from others when I can provide for myself? And this attitude kept me stuck and blocked from receiving. To receive with openness, is to lean into your feminine flow. To smile and say thank you, and welcome in offerings is a sign of graciousness, and abundance. On the other hand, to reject and say no carries a complete opposite energy.... So just a little reminder today to start smiling and saying thank you. He’s holding the door open for you, thank you sir. He wants to carry the bags for you, thank you sir, she wants to buy the next round of cocktails, thank you bestie. Learn to receive and watch abundance flow into your life. 

[garciaasfluffypen]

take care of me (like i take care of you) pt. 2

pairing: jemily x adhd!reader word count: 2.3k warnings: reader’s kinda bratty in this one! reader is confused as to why being bratty is making them feel tingly but they like it so they keep doing it, softdom!jj begins to make an appearance, color system usage, the origin of jj refusing to be called mommy (she has a moment™️)

a/n: hi besties!! i wrote this on my phone because i can’t find my laptop charger so please excuse any sort of typos you find! thats also why the beginning of this post currently isn’t formatted like the other ones but soon as i can charge my laptop i’ll be fixing it. there will be a part three to this! i had to find a good place to end or else this would have been a beast to read lol.

ps. when i wrote this i was 100% imagining white tank top!jj and emily in the burgundy lululemon looking sweatshirt from the episode where they’re building the crib for kristy and matt ;)

you couldn’t contain your excitement as you basically tripped over your feet to run up to jj’s audi, jumping up and down in your seat as you waited for your girlfriends to join you. it was five minutes past nine and everyone was ready so naturally you ran to the car. you had been ready for two hours, but that was only because you had gotten up so early. you had everything you could possibly need in your little cross shoulder body bag and had to stop yourself from biting your fingernails to the quip in pure excitement as you waited. emily came out first, slipping you your preferred chewy necklace that was easy to hide under your shirt. as soon as the chewy end of it entered your mouth, emily’s hands reached around you and wrapped the black string around your neck. without realizing it you naturally leaned into her touch, pulling her hand toward your cheek as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt while you stared at the door leading inside the kitchen. jj came out a few minutes later, her to-go cup of coffee tucked neatly away in the crook of her arm as she started to pull up the directions to the zoo.

jj slid into the drivers seat with ease, smiling at you as she saw the way you were sitting. she grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze before placing your phone in it, chuckling lightly at the layer of blush that ended up on your cheeks as you sheepishly took it from her. your block blast game was still up on the screen as you left it on the bathroom counter when you started doing your makeup. jj started the car and reversed out the driveway, leaving you to become reimmersed in your game. before you knew it you could just start see the sign for the zoo on the water tower peeking over the houses in the distance, meaning you were just about ten minutes away.

“lovey, besides seeing the giraffes, is there anything you want to do today?”

“um… i haven’t seen the elephants in a long time.” you paused, thinking. “and also the lions, i want to see the lions too.”

“do you think we could fit in a visit to the lemurs?” jj shot a glance to you. “i quite like lemurs.”

you nodded. “we can definitely see the lemurs.”

you made a mental note to yourself that jj liked lemurs, adding it to the little box that you had in your brain with facts about your girlfriends. it was mainly filled with silly little facts that most people wouldn’t normally pay attention to, like the fact emily writes in print script or that jj only eats salt and vinegar chips when she’s high. sure, there were the obvious facts that almost everyone on the team knew, but there were ones that were just your facts. and you wanted to keep them that way.

despite being a fully grown adult, you knew deep down that things like this were needed to help heal your inner child. you didn’t have the best childhood, but you were doing your best to fix it now. you bounced anxiously on the balls of your feet as you waited for the train to take you to the back of the zoo, the wind blowing your hair all around your face as you waited. jj silently pulled you toward her and helped you pull your hair back, putting it in a single braid for you.

by the time you got to the giraffe exhibit you could barely contain your excitement, your hands balling into fits and promptly unballing themselves as you tried to combat the need to stim. your arms stiffened as you tried to hold back your energy, shaking a bit as you focused on staying still as you could. that didn’t last long, seeing as there wasn’t many people around you at the moment and your girlfriends were positioned behind you. you let your hands start flapping, doing your best to keep them close to your sides as possible. a small squeak of noise came out of your mouth as you watched the zoo keepers slowly bring out the stars of the event. the crowd around you started to grow as the people made their way up from the front of the zoo, most of them not paying you any attention and instead looking for the little baby that the zoo was celebrating.

slowly but surely the calf made it's way out of the enclosure, still a little unsteady on it's feet. you watched in awe as it made it's way around the exhibit, noting how small it was compared to it's parents. jj wrapped her arms around you from behind, intertwining her fingers with your hands and placing a kiss on your shoulder. you could tell she was standing on her tip toes to reach your shoulder and made sure to flatten your feet, considering you tended to stay on your tip toes when you got too excited about things.

“how tall do you think he is?”

“i’d guesstimate around 6 feet.” you rocked up and back down to flat feet as you spoke. “giraffes give birth standing up so they fall roughly six feet to the ground but get up on their feet within the hour.”

“you know more about giraffes than i thought.”

“i had a hyperfixation on wild animals and the care of them before i ended up in the academy. i was wanting to double major in zoology and communications before i started to look into paths to go down with a communications degree.” you turned to face jj and emily. “i was going to be an advocate for animal rights but then i started reading about the fbi and decided that would probably be a better path to go down.”

before you could continue your thoughts, the chime that sounded before the giraffe feedings sounded, signaling for everyone who had a ticket to line up. you were closer to the end, whch was fine because it meant you could watch the giraffes for longer. emily and jj made sure to take pictures of you the whole time, smiling and laughing along with you as the giraffe’s tongue tickled your hand while it ate the leaves you held out. by the time you got out of the exhibit, your stomach started to rumble and you pouted towards your girlfriends as you walked past one of the many cafés scattered around the zoo. without a word, emily pulled the three of you inside, telling you to order whatever you wanted. you ended up going for the chicken tenders and fries, knowing that the meal was something you most likely would have gotten when you came as a child. it was hard to remember if you ever came, but you presumed it was what you got because it felt right.

by the time the three of you made it to the halfway point, you started to realize your whole body was beginning to hurt. you weren’t sure if it was from physically stopping yourself from stimming in the bigger crowds, or if it was from all the walking you had done. either way, you found yourself starting to slow down a bit and start to feel like you needed a ten hour nap. it was only when you got toward the lemur exhibit when your body really started to hurt, and you unintentionally started to let it slip into your mind that you were hurting and needed to go home.

jj was the first to notice that you were starting to feel off, clocking the heaviness of your walking and the fact you had started to get a little whiney. there had been approximately three times in the five years she had known you that she had ever seen you this way. and all of those times happened when you were over exerting yourself. most of the times it was because you were stubborn, but this time it didn’t seem that way. within ten minutes you were complaining about how much your feet hurt and how you felt like you were going to die if you didn’t get to sit down within the next five minutes. emily and jj fell a few steps behind you, whispering to each other about how to go about the situation.

“do you think she’s subconsciously wanting us to.. i dunno, take control? lacey mentioned something about that at the support group on saturday.”

jj chewed at the end of her necklace. “it's possible. i’m willing to try it if you are, but the second they push back or show any signs of not going along with it i’m stopping.”

“are you going to take the lead on this?”

“if you don’t mind. we know how easily they’ll react to you, i’m curious what would happen if you didn’t say anything but i did.”

“then do it. i trust you.”

jj squeezed emily’s hand before making her way back over to where you sat on the bench, watching the zebra walk by and graze on the grass in front of you. you definitely looked worse for wear, considering the braid your hair had been in all day was beginning to come undone and you most definitely got sunburned on your shoulders at some point. jj knew you weren’t feeling well, and that you were hiding it in order to appease her and emily. it was something she had noticed multiple times throughout their time with you so far. even if you didn’t feel like doing something, you typically would put on a happy face and go through with it anyway. it hadn’t happened much, but she had started to catch it more and more.

“y/n, it’s time to go.”

“what? no!” you gasped. “we haven’t even been to the polar bears yet!”

“i know, and i know you want to finish it but i’m calling it.” jj stepped closer to you, her voice dropping. “you’re tired and need to go home and rest. i’m giving you til the count of five, and if you don’t get up and come with us to the car we won’t go to dolphin beach this weekend.”

“you wouldn’t!”

“five.”

“jayje- this isn’t fair! em-my, do something!” you whined, staring at the brunette.

“two.” jj raised an eyebrow as you refused to budge. “fine, we stay, but no beach then.”

“i’d listen to her if i were you.” emily replied. “while we haven’t truly gotten into that dynamic with you just yet, i will say that i’d be careful how much you go against her, lovey.” emily gave you a pointed look before clasping her hands together. “that being said, we use the color system. red means hard stop, yellow means i’m uncomfortable and green means go.” emily paused. “color?”

“green.”

“good. if anything changes, tell jj. i’m going to go to the ladies room, i’ll meet you up by the gates.”

emily placed a kiss on jj’s cheek and simply patted you on the shoulder before walking towards the front of the zoo, leaving you alone with the blonde. the logical part of your brain knew she was right. you were tired, your body was aching and you couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down. but on the other hand, you were having fun poking the bear. reluctantly you got up, huffing and making a big deal of going home. you didn’t understand much about the way it was making you feel, but you knew it sent a tingle through your body seeing jj getting all worked up. it was amusing to you how red she got from you simply being a brat. and frankly, you liked it.

“you’re being unfair!”

“this attitude stops now, y/n. we’re going home.”

you bit your tongue cheekily, a glint forming in your eyes as you waited to see jj’s reaction. “mommy, you’re being mean to me.”

jj whipped her head to you, balling her hand into a fist at the side of her body. “what did you just call me?”

“… mommy?”

jj stopped walking suddenly, causing you to bump into her. “red.” she swallowed. “i’d like to talk about that later, when we’re home. not right now.”

“i’m sorry.” you looked at the ground, mortified. “it won’t happen again.”

a wave of guilt overtook your body as you two quietly walked to the front of the zoo, emily sensed some tension the second she saw you two, but knew that if she said anything you would probably start to spiral. by the time you got back to the car, all you could do was slip into the backseat and hope that jj wasn’t do mad at you that she was going to end everything. emily, albeit confused, took the front seat, trying to get an accurate read on jj. something happened while she was in the bathroom, but she couldn’t place a finger on what exactly that something was. by the time jj pulled into the driveway, the tension in the car had gotten so thick you couldn’t hold your tears back, letting them fall slowly down your cheeks as you forced yourself not to sob.

“go to our room. i’m going to compose my thoughts, give us a minute to calm down, then i’ll come talk to you.”

“o-okay.”

jj waited until you got out of the car to look at emily. “i called red.”

“what happened?”

“she called me mommy. i didn’t like it. i felt… gross. it was almost… too feminine?” jj looked at emily. “i probably sound crazy but-“

“you’re allowed to not like the way it makes you feel, jay.”

“i just don’t understand why it made my skin crawl.”

“may i.. is that why you don’t like being called beautiful or pretty?”

jj’s head snapped up. “huh?”

“the feminine terms. you don’t like them.”

“not necessarily, no.”

emily nodded. “we don’t have to unravel this now, but we need to put a pin in this. the three of us need to talk about that together so we’re all on the same page.”

“you’re right. can you go check on them? i just need… i need to think about how i’m going to articulate everything.”

“of course.” emily squeezed jj’s hand. “come up when you’re ready.”

“i will. promise.”

taglist: @jayden-prentiss @idkwhatever580 @multifandomlesbianic @softestqueeen

[remcycl333]

my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

Outsiders shit. Some modern some not idfk

These are all like. The most crack-filled hcs ever, please excuse my brain 🙏🏽🙏🏽 if these don’t make sense to you, tell me

- dally is so headstrong that the moment someone bets he can’t do something, he does it

- the gang takes advantage of this

- (this is a method I use on my younger siblings 😭😭)

- dally can walk in heels

- also two bit. Like scarily well. His sister is amazed.

- pony calls people whore

- Johnny calls people thot

- they say these to each other on a regular basis.

- also hoe

- uhhh where was I

- something something gay something something 70s 80s smth pony and Johnny because Johnny never died frfr no cap

- Johnny: “I can’t believe yall vape smh”

- also Johnny: *pulls out a cigarette for each hand*

- pony does the same thing

- twobit and Marcia are either gay-lesbian solidarity or they’re dating, no in between

- if they’re gay, they’re a beard couple just like “we pretend to date, they can’t catch on” “I like the way you think, woman”

- ily twobit matthews. That’s all.

- twobit and Marcia are actually both Hispanic, its canon trust I was there

- dally types “women ☕️” in instagram comment sections

- also “it’s bc I’m a man isn’t it”

- (ty V on discord for that second one 🙏🏽🙏🏽)

- cherry and dally argue on twitter

- a lot

- dally spams cherry and then she absolutely COOKS this pathetic rat man

- dally blocks cherry, doesn’t talk to her for a while, then eventually forgets and unblocks her to harass the poor girl again

- cherry doesn’t realize blocking is a thing, but she complains to marcia and marcia shows her how to block Dallas

- dally, two bit, and Steve are all hopelessly addicted to twitter

- like it’s really fucking bad

- someone get these mfs off the internet

- dally therapy

- now

- right fucking now

- cherry valance and ponyboy bisexual man/bisexual woman solidarity

- they are besties

- nothing more nothing less

- change my mind

- (you cant)

- marcia “good luck babe” by Chappell roan

- pony autism

- Johnny audhd

- Darry autism

- soda audhd or just adhd

- I saw someone say dally ocd once and I like it so

- dally ocd

- twobit adhd

- Steve adhd

- everyone trauma :D

- when johnny actually lived after the fire bc thats what actually happened actually fr, he left his parents because he realized they didn’t love him (pulling from the “I don’t wanna see her” scene for this)

- he stays with the curtis boys most of if not all the time

- if soda and Darry are gone, pony will grab Johnny and they’ll sleep together

- not in a weird way you freaks

- pony just genuinely cannot sleep

- I may or may not be influenced by fics I’ve read…

- soda saw them one night when he got home late and was like “…queers?”

- he stays out a bit later than usual now, often found sleeping in another room

- Darry actually supports more than pony thought, when he comes out, Darry is like a pride parade mom frfr

- kinda lowkey overbearing with it

- ily Darrel curtis

- soda is the typa guy to genuinely not understand lgbtq+ but supports anyways

- sodas the typa guy to be asked what his pronouns are and say “just he/him. Wish I had smth more interesting, but I’m just a guy :D”

- on the other end of that, soda and Steve are gay

- everyone is gay

- all of them

- so very fucking gay

Im done yapping for now, im so sorry for anyone that sees this

[kimbapchan]

I am so thankful to you all

I stepped away from the internet last night to collect myself. I've just now received everyone's messages and comments to my post and i am so thankful to everyone. While i cant respond to everyone, pls know i've read and took to heart all your kind messages.

There are even people who support my work and growth even if they are no longer in the same fandom (danmei) and I am so thankful for those people too! I am thankful to ALL OF YOU who took the time to message me last night.

CW: I will mention my body issues so pls be aware, you dont have to ready any further. I have PCOS so this year, I've decided to go on a weightloss journey and so far I've finally reached my healthy weight through healthy means/lifestyle changes, not from those crash diets. I've started cosplaying again because I finally feel like I can have the confidence to do it. I used to cosplay when I was in highschool up to college but I never felt beautiful or confident in cosplay because of my weight. NOW that I've finally reached a healthier weight, i feel i could and i did start cosplaying with my friend. I cosplay for fun and to help me heal myself with my body issues.

However, even with my healthiest weight now, I have been dealing with body dysmorphia and it's causing me quite a lot of distress and frustration with myself. Everyone around me told me I look good or I lost weight but I myself cant see it, i still see the unattractive unconfident obese girl i've always been and it sucks. Let me tell you, cosplay has helped me slowly heal myself and gain confidence. Seeing that comment stressed me out. But i am going to brush it off and continue what i do. I enjoy bonding with my besties and cosplaying with them. It's a hobby and something i do for fun. Not as a career or for fame. I dont expect everyone to love seeing their comic artist's irl face/cosplays. But i like sharing my fun pictures and cosplays nonetheless and if you also enjoy it, then yay thankyou! if not, thats fine. My comics are not going away, i will still post them. Just try to scroll past and look at my art instead.

also I have been treating tumblr as a little diary because I feel more open and vulnerable here so I also do apologize if I tend to be TMI or i post my ranty stuff here. I appreciate the warm and cozy atmosphere on this site XD

anyways, thats it for now. I think I'll continue resting for a bit, I'm still stressed out from last night but I will take it easy on myself. I am attending a con this weekend (and cosplaying there) so It will help get my mind off that horrible instagram dm. I blocked that person too. Thankyou again everyone! I'm sorry if you've read the whole thing XD but I appreciate you taking the time to do so!

[artemiseamoon]

Kiss Me Under The Mistletoe

A Dieter Bravo x F Reader romance by Artemiseamoon

Part of @pedrostories Secret Santa 2024. This is a gift for @the-blind-assassin-12 I was soooo excited to create this for you! I hope you enjoy it as much I do. 💜

Word count: 11k plus

Summary: While celebrating Christmas Eve in New York City, you enjoy the company of close friends and learn that dreams do come true when a certain brown eyed actor crosses your path. One encounter changes the events of your lives and marks Christmas as the most special time of year.

Reader: no physical descriptions given aside from being a woman. RC intended to be in late 30’s - 40’s and has a career. Dieter does give her a nickname. Feel free to read as RC or OC, your choice.

Warnings: mentions of (light not heavy handed) drugs, recovery, sexual activity. Nothing graphic, no smut. Plus language, for cursing (if thats a warning?)

📚Read on A03⬅️

Christmas Eve, 2022

A festive spirit kissed the air as the city streets bustled with people coming and going. Locals on the move, tourists snapping photos, families on their way to relatives, and groups of friends headed to parties. 

You tightened your grip on the cake box, snowflakes melting against your skin as you hurried your walk, now just blocks away from your best friend's home. It's a scenic route; decorated storefronts, lawns, and windows adorned with trinkets and ornaments; lights strung along trees. 

As the snowfall increased, you pulled your hood over your head. In your pocket, your phone buzzed, then again, a second time. Not wanting to expose your hands, you decided to wait to answer. You wondered if it was an update about the weather. 

A blizzard warning was in effect for two days from now. You hoped to be back home and cozy by then, but by the look of things, you just might get stuck here for the duration. Not that it was a bad thing, you had friends here and were staying in your bestie's spare bedroom. 

Back inside the brownstone, you shook snow off your boots, set the box down on a bench and checked your phone. The wind kicked up outside, it's howl touching the doors before you. 

Parker: I hope people come! It’s coming down hard out there :(

Parker: You ok? Not stuck in a snowbank, right? And THANK YOU for volunteering. You're a life safer! Remind me to not attempt cake making again. 

Earlier, Parker tried their hand at baking. What came out of the over was - well - edible but not pretty. Parker's yearly Christmas party was a hit and each time they had a cake from their favorite bakery. This year, they got a bit crazy with the whole DIY thing and this happened. Once the cake emergency ensued, they found one place nearby with one cake left. You volunteered to pick it up.  

You: Tonight will be amazing; I have a good feeling. And yes, I returned safely. Be up in a sec.

.

An hour later the house was packed, on the lower-level people danced, ate, and lost themselves in conversation, both deep and light. Laughter could be heard in bursts over the music from the speakers. On the second level, a game room was set up with an area for crafts. People lingered in the halls, conversing and some dancing. The third floor was closed off as far as the party went. The brownstone was busting with life, the continuous snowfall outside didn’t detract from the jovial mood. 

“Karaoke!” Parker yelled into the room. They turned to you, “You know what this means. We need Stevie to start us off." 

“We must summon Stevie.” One of your friends said while handing you their velvet scarf.  

“Okay - I need to get in character.”

Scarf in hand, you excused yourself from the room. When you returned, you were in full character, wide-brimmed hat, extra necklaces, and a dark blanket wrapped around like a skirt. Your friends cheered as you took your place in the center of the room. Parker passed you the microphone and pressed play.

'Rock on, gold dust woman

Take your silver spoon, dig

Your grave'

As you perform, you do your famous Stevie Nicks impression, belting out the lyrics as you move across the room. You wouldn't say your voice was greatest, but you put on a damn good show. 

As the middle of the song neared, your eyes floated to the back of the room. A group of people crowded into the living room, filling in any empty spots. You were about to turn away when something told you to keep looking. At the very back of the group a man stood out, his head was lowered and all you could see was messy brown curls. As he lifted his head, everything slowed down and you missed a line.  

You'd know that face from anywhere! 

That hair

That nose

Those brown eyes

And when he smiled, you heart skipped a beat. You were either hallucinating, or Dieter Bravo had one hell of a lookalike! 

You continued on with the song, trying to convince yourself that once the performance was over, you'll realize this dude didn't look like Dieter at all. 

What would he be doing at a random house anyway?

By the song's end, your heart was in your throat. The man still looked a hell of a lot like Dieter, and now you were convinced you slipped into some kind of dream state. Handing the mic to the next person, you grabbed Parker by the hand and rushed to the kitchen. 

“Is that Dieter fucking Bravo in your house?” you asked while grabbing their shoulders. 

Parker shook their head, looking as surprised as you. "Unless all of us are having some mass hallucinations then um - yeah, I think- unless he has a twin brother." 

"He does not, he's an only child," you opened the door to take a peek, and catch a glimpse of some people looking up his photo and talking. You dip back into the kitchen. Getting antsy, you start walking around, your mind recalling the moment your eyes met across the room. "No, no that is him, the real him." 

You would know. You’ve studied and dreamed about that man more times than you’re willing to admit. You have an insane number of photos, videos, and gifs of him all saved in an album titled ‘Dieter my love’. The handsome, adorable, trash panda of a famous actor ruined your life- well, not ruined, but to say you were obsessed would be fair.

Well, not obsessed but- 

Okay, he took over your brain, your thoughts, your heart. 

Parker shrugged, “I don’t - did he just- wander in here?” 

Before either of you could muse further, Parker’s girlfriend entered the room. She was stuck doing the afternoon shift at the bar she worked at, and the evening person was late, hence her late arrival. 

“So, um - that's Dieter Bravo.” 

“And how is he here?” Parker asked. 

“This sounds crazy but - he stopped in the bar, ten minutes before I left. We got to talking and I kinda - invited him.” Jett replied. 

You moved closer, trying to digest her words. “You just casually met and invited Dieter Bravo to a party?”

“Yeah. I was already late, why not bring one hell of a gift for our favorite person!" She took your hand. 

While staring at her, you pinched yourself with your free hand. Yep, real, this was very real. Seconds later, you pulled her into a hug. Behind you, the door swung open. 

“Hi,” Dieter waved at the three of you. “Hope you don’t mind, crashing your party and all." he said to Parker. 

You assumed Jett told him who's who already. 

“As long as you have fun and don’t steal all the thunder.” Parker replied, then shared a glance with Jett. “We have to - get something.” They grabbed Jett's hand and left the kitchen. 

The door swung closed again, leaving you and Dieter alone. Not knowing what else to do, you froze. 

He's so - soft-looking. He was dressed comfortably, dark loose pants and a fuzzy sweater. He even appeared a bit tired, but in a hot cuddly kind of way. 

“And you must be Calliope herself,” he smiled. 

“Greek muse of song and poetry, nice -” you leaned against the counter behind you, mainly for balance as your legs turned to Jello. 

“I know you are," he said your name, " Jett gave me the quick rundown, the most important people at least.” 

A giddy feeling washed over you, your name on his lips echoing in your mind. “Glad I’m one of the important ones. So, you make this a habit, crashing house parties?"

“Sometimes,” he jested, “no - actually, Jett's really cool, and getting a drink alone was fucking depression so -" he moved to the snack stray, but kept his eyes mostly on you, “here I am.” 

“Hard to believe you were alone today, being so famous and all.” 

“I didn’t want anyone around -" he started to snack, “then, I changed my mind.” 

“Hence the drink?” 

He winked at you. With a plate of snacks, Dieter moved closer, mirroring your body language against the counter. 

A brief silence fell between you, and your mind was firing off in a million directions. All of a sudden, you lose the ability to conversate again. So, you just look at him as he looks at you, taking the moment in, letting yourself be star stuck. 

Done with the snacks, Dieter put the plate down then rolled up his sleeves, revealing his assorted bracelets. Your gaze lingered there; you loved his arms, and his hands. Your gaze dropped to his fingers, then his rings.  

When his eyes met yours again, you went with the first thing on your mind. 

“Are you in New York for work?” 

“No. I took the time off. I don’t like to work during the holidays - no Hollywood stuff.” 

You faced him directly, instead of just stealing side glances. “What's your ideal way to spend Christmas?” 

Dieter grinned at the question. “Sleeping in. Pancakes for breakfast…movie marathon, you know, the classics -” he ran his hand through his hair, “in pajamas all day.” 

"You already wear pajamas all the time." 

He laughed at your comment. "These are the outside pajamas - not the pajamas-pajamas." 

"Ah, got it." 

His next smile was sheepish as he glanced at the floor, looking suddenly vulnerable, “with someone - or alone.”

You frowned a little, all of you wanting to hug him. 

“Dieter, I hope you get your dream Christmas this year.”

“Yeah, we’ll see -" his tone wasn't so convincing. He stared off for a second, then looked at you. “What’s your perfect Christmas day?” 

Your heart was beating so fast now you could hear it drum in your ears. He was so present with you, you almost felt exposed, naked under his gaze-

“As cozy and warm as possible. My mind is on a lot, for work. So just unplugging and having a nice day, that’s good enough for me.” 

Dieter listened with a spark in his eyes. Just as he was about to ask a question, you gained some company. A group of three people you didn’t know well entered; one already had their phone out. 

“Could we get a picture? If you don’t want to - "

“I’m in the middle of a very interesting conversation,” he gestured to you. 

Your smile returned. He wasn’t necessarily rude about it, but he was clear. And they got the point as they left the kitchen. His attention was instantly on you again, his gaze full of interest as he studied you.

Is this what it feels like, to be a work of art in a museum, under appreciative eyes?

He started, “I hate this question, so - forgive me for asking but-” 

“Astronomer by day, writer by night” you replied. 

Depending on the person, you only replied ‘astronomer’, but if you liked the person, you didn’t mind revealing a little more about the writing part. Then there was the whole pen name thing as your non-work-related writing was on the saucier side. Constellations and planets by day. Sex pollen by night. 

Dieter dipped his head, keeping his eyes on you, “seriously?”  

“Seriously.”

He inched closer. “What do you write?” 

“A little of everything. Mainly fiction.”

“Anything published?” 

“One, last year I wrote this book, like a merge of my two words. It’s a retelling of the myths of the constellations. My second book, that's - coming along - it's a sci-fi thing.” 

Dieter’s eyes lit up. He placed a hand on your shoulder, your name on his lips. 

“Yeah?” You chuckled, not sure what to make of the way he was staring at you, all while trying to play it as cool as fucking possible because inside, you are anything but chill. 

“You are the coolest fucking person here - ever!” Dieter raved.

You chuckled, “stop. You're the Oscar-winning movie star. I’m just…me. A girl who was so obsessed with the stars she made a career out of it. Who likes to write spicy sci-fi too.” 

Dieter got a little closer, and as he moved his hand back to rest it on the counter, he almost knocked some things over. He quickly fixed them, then made eye contact. 

“Astronomer? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how smart you have to be for that?" He counted on his fingers, "Published author. Karaoke star and fucking gorgeous.” 

Your breath stilled, heart beating faster as he gushed about you! By some weird miracle you were holding your shit together while internally kicking and screaming. Here he was your celebrity crush - complimenting you.

"Thank you,” nervousness fluttered in your gut. You shook your head and laughed, “I’m not gonna lie. I’m a huge fan of yours and kinda freaking out right now.” 

Dieter smiled. 

Fuck, he thought.  You were making his heart race; he had those silly butterfly things talking to you - and he was nervous - nervous. He rarely got nervous. Knowing you both were trying to keep your cool was comforting. 

You revealed your shaking hands, which you were keeping buried in your pocket for a reason. “See? Not keeping it cool at all.” 

Dieter extended his arm, “check my pulse.” 

His heart rate was through the roof. This was unreal. He hummed softly at your touch, your fingers so soft against his skin. And when you moved your hand, he instantly missed the contact. 

“How about we calm our nerves, yeah? I heard there’s a game room upstairs,” Dieter suggested. 

“Follow me,” you pushed yourself forward and headed to the door.

The inner you was screaming even louder now. You didn't know if you'd freeze again or find your flow, but it was worth it to find out. Plus, even if it was a little selfish, you were glad to steal him away before he gets overloaded with picture requests. 

.

Half an hour later, you and Dieter remained in your cozy corner of the game room. Jenga was the current game of choice as you navigated all the interest he was drawing. You talked about music and art. You imagined meeting him before, but as great as your imagination is, anything you dreamed up didn't compare to this. 

After Cliff Beasts 6 in 2020, his reputation was a roller-coaster - dipping and rising - calming and amping up - which seemed to be the norm for him. By time the documentary came out earlier this year, he appeared to be in control again. 

"I had to get my shit together, " he shared with you, "clear my mind. Find my center. There was this great place Anika recommended." 

"Are you two still close?" You asked, carefully pulling a block from the tower. 

"She's so cool - we're good friends." 

You learned the romance was short lived, but they gained life-long friends out of it, and she was super supportive of his recovery journey. You remembered when he came back from the center, he looked great, refreshed and healthy. Sadly, it didn't stop the tabloids from talking shit and retelling his greatest 'party' hits. 

As you and Dieter talked, getting to know more about each other while topic hopping to random things, your excitement for what could happen tonight grew. You knew his reputation, and the risks. But a chance with your celebrity crush was something most people didn't get - and you weren't going to let this pass you by. 

Fifteen minutes later you were back to talking about music and live shows, while deep in a game of twister. Prior to the game, Parker and Jett lured most of the people away, almost giving you the room alone.  

“Want to do a song - or songs - with me?” Dieter asked from beneath you. 

“Hell yes - how about something from the 90s?" 

“Fuck yes! Pop? Alternative?” 

You tried to reach for the spinner, “why not both?"

“We should do a Christmas song too!”

“Sure. A fun one though! How about a super sexy Santa baby - oh fuck -” 

Your leg slipped from beneath you, causing you to crash into Dieter. Bot of you hit the ground and burst into laughter. 

“Have you ever heard the Eartha Kitt version?” you asked, rolling off of Dieter. 

He laid on his side, doe-eyed and smiling “Obviously. It’s one of the best.  Wait - Can we do Baby it’s cold outside too?”

"It’s a date. Plus, people can snap all those pictures they’ve been asking for.”

Dieter smiled as he took you in. “I don’t care about any of that, this- I like this.” 

.

After doing three fun and naughty songs with Dieter, your friends pulled you away to get the tea. Everything sounded crazy as it left your lips, but it was true, the vibes were vibing and hanging out with him felt so easy - so natural. 

Once you were done speaking with your friends, you found Dieter downstairs with a group around him. He seemed to be having a decent time, yet as soon as he saw you, he lit up and then made his way over to you. 

“We killed it up there.” He commented, then offered you the rest of his cake. 

“Don’t tempt me. I’ve already had one and a half."

"This is my second, I had to race someone to it." he said as he took another bite.

"To be fair, I was the one who went out to get it. Snow and all.” 

“You did! Look, this cake is divine, if this cake wasn’t here, I might have left.” 

You laughed, “and what about me?” 

“You or the cake? Oh, I’m choosing the cake.” 

“Wow,” you pretended to be offended then glanced out the window. Everything was covered in inches of snow. Before you can turn around, you feel Dieter over your shoulder. 

“Seriously though, if it's you or the cake, fuck that cake.” 

“Right answer."

“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” 

Maybe, just maybe fairytales were real - even if for one night. You playfully tugged at his sweater while grinning, “careful, keep complimenting me like that and I'll have to kiss you under the mistletoe.” 

A playful smile touched his lips. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you nod. 

Before you could take a full breath, Dieter was leading you through the crowded room, down the hallway, and to the side room turned photo op. You worked hard this morning getting this space just right, but never imagined you'd be in it with Dieter of all people. In the corner a couple was making out, in another people were using the portable photo booth station.

Dieter only stopped moving once you were under the mistletoe. 

His gaze fell to your lips before rising to your eyes, “I’ve been dying to kiss you all night." 

You gave a cheeky reply, “well, I’m right here,”

Dieter slid one arm around you, pulling you closer while brushing your chin with his fingers: his bedroom eyes further igniting the fire within you. 

“You really are wonderful, you know that?” said Dieter with a soft breath. 

Before you could respond, Dieter closed the space between you, pressing his lips to yours. His lips were soft against your own, and the tenderness with which he kissed you made your heart race. As the kiss deepened, you slid your fingers up the nape of his neck and into his hair. Dieter responded with a low moan against your lips.

“You taste as good as you look,” he moaned. 

“The feeling is mutual.” 

“Let's do more of that, a lot more.” 

This time you drew him in by his shoulders, initiating the second kiss. Easily you lose yourself in his embrace. His lips were sweet, like the cake he’d eaten minutes before, the same cake you walked five blocks in snow to get. How the fuck is this real, you thought. You would have never imagined while you held that cake for dear life that you'd be tasting it on Dieter's kiss. 

“Spend tonight with me?” Dieter asked as he drew in a breath.

You parted your lips to speak, nothing came out. The full shock of everything that just happened hitting you all at once. 

Dieter waited for your answer, hoping you’d say yes. Sex with you would be amazing, it would greatly improve what's been a depressing and lonely week in New York. You're the stuff of dreams, and so damn beautiful he might just pick up a brush and paint again.

All that talk about muses, yeah, he really understood it now. Just a couple of hours with you had his mind thinking up all kinds of things. He imagined taking you to this vacation villa, a soft breeze coming in off the water as you posed for him; Dieter capturing your essence with each stroke of the brush against canvas. And when he wasn't painting, you two could spend long afternoons and lazy mornings in bed. 

His mind went back to sex, it would be spectacular, he knew it. He was also content to just hang out with you all night until you’ve both fallen asleep. You're that fucking cool and he just wanted more time, no matter how you spent it. He knew his reputation, and as you still hadn’t answered, he feared that was why. 

“Dieter I-” 

Dieter leaned in, hanging on your every word. 

“I’d love that.” 

“Yes!” Dieter did a fist pump, then wrapped his arms around you again. “I can’t promise we’ll get a cab at this point - we might have to walk.” 

You trailed his jawline with your nails, “I’ve got my snow boots.” 

“Wow,” he held you at a distance to take you in, “we’re leaving. Now.” With your hand in his, Dieter made his way to the door. 

“I need my coat and my boots silly,” you laughed, “give me five minutes. “

.

About 30 minutes later, and with no cabs in sight, you made it to his hotel room. By car ride, he was just 15 minutes away, but on foot, plus all the snow, it was twice as long. You made the best of it along the way, stopping to make snowmen and angels, even having a brief snowball fight. 

Inside, the room was warm and toasty. Dieter made you a cup of tea as he called the desk to extend his stay. Instead of checking out in the morning, he gave it one more day. The snow continued to fall dramatically outside.

As he finished up the call, you contemplated taking a hot shower, then changing. You did take an overnight bag for tonight, and the dry jammies were calling your name. Deciding a shower would help with the chill in your bones, you suggested the idea to Dieter, he was happy to oblige. Once you were out, you made yourself comfortable as he did the same. 

A half-hour later, you were cuddled up on the couch, under blankets as you talked about everything and nothing. Dieter got up briefly then returned with something in his hand, 

“KitKat?” 

You smiled; he really loved these things as much as you heard. 

“I have a whole bunch in the fridge. Have as many as you want, but not the last one.” 

“I promise to not eat your last kit, Kat Dieter,”

“There’s something about it chilled; it's gotta be chilled,” he leaned back with a sigh, then rolled to his side. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Sure,” you said, snapping one of the bars off. 

“I was having a really shitty day, week...month,” he shrugged, “I thought I wanted to be alone for the holiday, then realized I didn't. Then I went on Tinder and that shit was depressing." 

“I bet you had a line around the block of people waiting for the honor.” 

“Since I cleaned up - there are certain crowds I don't hang around anymore, it's bad for my aura and shit. I keep it simple now - pot, wine, the occasional drink and I love shrooms too much to give them up. Don't ever ask me to give those up. The harder stuff, though, I haven't touched in months.” 

“That's a big deal, Dieter, congratulations.” 

He nuzzled his head against the pillow while gazing at you. “Have I told you how beautiful you are.” 

“Yes, and you can keep on if you want,” 

“I will, all night, and tomorrow too.”

You sat up, covering your face with your hands before lowering them again.  “Dieter, this is nuts. You're my biggest crush ever and here we are!"

“Fuck, I know right, I can’t believe it either,” he pressed his forehead to yours while looking into your eyes, “I think we met before, in another universe.” 

“Or - another life.” 

“Or both.” 

“Okay, both. I like that.” you ran your hands down his chest with a soft hum, “you are as cuddly as I imagined.” 

“Lucky for you I need more cuddles, come here!” Dieter drew you back into his arms. 

. 

'Blizzard warning in effect for New York State Tri-Area - all flights have been temporarily suspended due to inclement weather, please contact your air carrier for further details - travel on the roads is not advised -'  

“Breakfast is here,” Dieter called out from the hall. 

You were parked in front of the TV, watching the news feed. The blizzard did not wait for two days from now as first reported, it hit late last night, around 3 am, You wouldn’t have known it, you and Dieter were too busy exploring each other's bodies until you were exhausted, then fell asleep cuddling; he was your little spoon. 

When you woke up around ten am, secure in his arms, his body pressed against yours and his excitement evident, you turned to kiss him, leading to a lazy sensual morning in bed. Now it was around noon, and you were both so hungry you were getting a little grumpy, so Dieter ordered room service. You also took the time to answer the many texts from your concerned friends to confirm that you were indeed fine, in a land of bliss actually and that was all you could say for now. 

The aromas of cinnamon, spice, coffee, and freshly baked goods met your nose, making your stomach grumble. You clicked off the TV and joined him in the kitchen. 

“I’ve extended my stay, two more days but I have to leave by Thursday morning, a work thing.” he pulled out a chair for you to sit on, then kissed you on the lips, “Merry Christmas.” 

In the back of your mind, you remind yourself to change your flight as well. From the looks of it outside, there is no way you are flying out tomorrow. 

 You dug something out of your pocket, “yesterday morning, I gave all my friends their presents and I had an extra one. At first, I thought it was a miscount but now - “you passed him the pouch, smiling proudly. "“Merry Christmas, Dieter."

Dieter moved his chair closer to yours then opened it up revealing a hemp bracelet with round stone beads. 

“It's a grounding and protection mix, that's shungite, red jasper, and smoky quartz...some tourmaline too.” 

“What have I done to deserve you,” he gushed, then quickly slipped the bracelet on his wrist. "Thank you.” 

“My pleasure.” you watched him a moment longer, then decided to eat, your stomach was growling at you. 

“You know shungite is used to block EMF radiation, that shit fucks with your brain waves. Messes you up. I have a piece on my phone case.” 

Smiling, you dig your phone out of your pocket and flip it over.

“No fucking way - “he picked it up, amazed. “You’re perfect, literally, perfect. Do you know a lot about stones? I have this room in my house - all crystals, some giant fucking ones too. I don’t know what they all mean - a friend gave me a book, but I never read it. I have an idea! What if you came? I could show you the room and you can tell me what they are. I have a telescope too, a really good one - I think you'd like it.” 

“Is this your way of asking me to visit?” you tease while tugging at his shirt. 

“Yes, of course! You must visit - you have to.” 

“Then of course I will - was that your stomach?” 

“Yes. It demands food.” 

You took the lids off the plates and handed him a fork. “Let’s eat.” 

.

Dieter shook his head while speaking with his hands. “No - that shit calcifies the pineal gland. Stay away from those -” 

You’ve been deep in conversation now for about two hours. Dieter was lying on his back while you laid on his chest, the both of you still naked from your previous activities.

It was beautiful, the both of you in your own little world as the snow fell heavily outside. You’ve juggled so many topics of conversation it was a little hard to keep track, but you were going with the flow and loving every second of it. Dieter's a wild, unpredictable, cozy ride and you’ve never been more thankful for a snowstorm in your life. 

“How do you feel about New Year's resolutions?” You asked, not sure why you did. 

He shook his head. “I don’t do that.” 

“Yeah, I used to when I was younger, but not anymore...have you ever had your birth chart done?” You could admit you've looked it up before, or at least the speculated chart, but don't. 

“Of course, show me yours and I’ll show you mine?” Dieter already had his phone out for you to view. 

.

2023

Being snowed in with Dieter weeks ago was a dream, one that kept you warm and fuzzy during the winter and through the month of January. As it neared its midway point, you weren't sure what you and Diter were. One night stand? Friends with benefits to be? When you parted ways post storm, nothing was defined. You knew there was a possibility, you’d never hear from him again, but to your surprise, he texted you just days later.

Even though his communication was sporadic at times, he did reach out. Now you had numerous texts, phone calls, and video calls between you as January neared its end. Plans remained undefined as far as a visit to LA, but you understood how crazy his schedule was so didn’t push. Plus, everything was so fresh, and you wanted the real invite to come naturally without any pressure. 

You were smitten as all hell and falling, hard. All while trying to keep a sensible mind about it. The 'what are we?' questions following you around like a phantom. It didn't help that he wore your bracelet - all the time! You even spotted it in a recent interview. Was it delusional to think that maybe- just maybe - 

Then there was the press, the beast, the greedy machine and all the speculation about Dieter and his sex life. Every week it seemed a new person he was rumored to be with, or some crazy drug crazed party people claimed he was at. The rumors of relapse were the most upsetting, especially because you knew he was working his ass off to keep it together. 

.

It wasn't uncommon to have a few days when you didn't hear from him, he was a busy guy after all. Some days he just sent some emojis until he could talk again. You were having one of those weeks, left with memories and emojis until the real thing came. You spent your

time working on your new book and at the planetarium. It was at the end of a very long shift when you heard from him again. 

First came the text with a link to an upcoming concert on January 30th. The headliner was one of yours and Dieter's favorite 90’s alternative bands. 

Dieter: Meet me in New York. I owe you a date. 

You: It’s true…I don’t know if the snow days counted as a date.

Dieter: Dinner, anywhere you want, then the show. VIP seats. Then I plan to spend the night between your thighs.  

You: You better :) Let's do this.  

In two days, it would be the last day of the year, and you couldn't wait for the reunion. 

.

The concert at Madison Square Garden was amazing. After the show, you ended up in Dieter's hotel room, already making out as he swiped the key card. 

“I have to leave really fucking early. International flights man -” he said between kisses. 

You weaved your fingers through his hair, "we better make the best of our time then.” 

Dieter woke up before sunrise, and though you didn't know it, he spent some time watching you sleep. The last thing he wanted was to disturb you, but he knew you’d be upset if he left without saying goodbye. 

Using gentle kisses along your neck and chin, Dieter whispered against your skin, “baby, I have to leave.” 

You didn’t wake right away; it took a minute or two until your eyes opened. A smile formed on your lips; Dieter's definitely your favorite sight in the morning. 

“It’s time already?” you yawned.

“Sadly, yes-” he buried his face beneath your chin, taking in your scent, “fuck it, I’ll cancel my flight.” 

“This is important, I can’t let you do that - you wanted this meeting for how long?” 

“A long time -"

Dieter had a script idea, and a director in mind. He explained the character as a cowboy secret agent, a role he always wanted to play. This trip, the first part at least, was about making that happen. 

“We’ll just have to see each other next time you're free,” you pouted.

Last night added up to four nights total with Dieter, but still, you were drunk on him. He was already weaving his way into your heart in such a short amount of time. 

Dieter balanced himself on his elbows as he studied you, “visit me.” 

“You know I would,” you replied.

“I’m serious.” 

“So am I.” 

As he smiled, you poked his dimple. 

“I get back from Europe late at night, February 13th.” He turned and rummaged around the desk in the dark. Once enough things fell over, you turned on one of the lights on while laughing. 

“Thanks,” he flashed a smile at you then sat up and turned away. 

“What are you hiding?” 

“Can you do it, a flight the morning of the 14th?” 

“I think I can swing that.” That was in 13 days from now, you could use your PTO, “yeah, let’s do it.” 

Dieter finally turned to you, presenting a sticky note with a heart drawn on it and text in the middle,

“Be my Valentine?” 

He was the cutest you’ve ever seen him; messy hair, big brown puppy dog eyes, it was heartwarming. “Of course, I’ll be your Valentine.” 

“It’s settled then; I’ll buy your ticket.” he sighed deeply while pulling you into a hug. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” 

His next alarm went off, he groaned and snoozed it. 

“You’re going to be late -"

“I’ll make it, but we need to be fast. No way I’m leaving here without one more taste of you - “ he tore the covers away and moved between your legs. 

“If you miss that flight don’t blame me,” you tugged at the waistband of his pants. 

“If I miss it, I get to stay here, fucking you all day. I call that a win.” 

“Well, if you put it that way-” grabbing a fist full of his shirt, you pulled him down into a kiss. “Then we’ll get you on a later flight because this is important, and I won't let you bail on it.” 

“How did I get so damn lucky?” he smiled warmly then started to undress you. 

.

As the car pulled up to the gates, you couldn’t believe you were really there. Dieter Bravo's house. After a brief drive, you arrived at the front door, finding him waiting for you.

He looked adorable, his hair, pajamas and signature green robe plus his furry boots. His face lit up as he saw you. Dieter quickly took his sunglasses off, hung them on his shirt, and went to greet you.

“Sweetheart, it’s good to see you,” 

You're in his arms in an instant, his hug warm and secure. 

“How was your flight?” 

“First class direct with all the perks. I can’t complain.” 

“Good," he took a step back holding your arms as he took you in, “you look great.”

“I’m in tights and a hoodie “

“You look great,” he repeated, his gaze soft on yours. 

Dieter slid one hand down your arm while raising the other to your chin, admiring you further before kissing you. The kiss transports you back to Christmas Eve, under the mistletoe. 

“I’m glad you could make it Cosmo. Come, there's so much I want to show you.” 

You’re not sure what you expected his house to look like, but now that you’re here, it seems fitting. Posters of all kinds, movies, concerts, art prints. Paintings large and small, interesting pieces of furniture sprinkled in with the basics, more than a few bean bags and lava lamps.

“Happy Valentines Day!" he beamed. 

“Happy Valentines.” you replied, interlacing your fingers with his as he walks you through the house. 

As the tour went on, Dieter couldn't believe his luck. He missed you like hell and finally you were here. He was beyond smitten, he was hooked, whipped. You, the most perfect woman ever, possessed him, he thought of you day and night, thoughts both pure and unholy. He even took one of your bras after the snowstorm in NY and kept it.

He also kept the note you wrote after your snowed-in adventure. Dieter didn’t see you write it, but at the airport, he reached in his pocket and found it, rolled up like a scroll, a makeshift ribbon around it, 

Lovely being snowed in with you , Xo Cosmo 

You even left a lipstick stain on the back, and he handled the note so carefully, worried he’d tear it. He liked that the nickname grew on you, at first, he wasn’t sure if you’d like it. He kept it in his pocket all the time, just like he always wore your bracelet. 

.

You busied yourself in the living room as Dieter took some calls. It was a short while later he returned with a woman trailing behind him. She was carrying a portfolio, notebook, and a tablet all under one arm: definitely an assistant. Currently, she was texting, typing faster than you’ve ever seen anyone type. 

“There she is - “His expression lighted at the sight of you. Standing at the back of the couch, he leaned over to kiss you. “I have this thing tomorrow evening. Couldn’t get out of it. But -” he rounded the couch and sat next to you, “my attention is all yours before and after.” he held his hands together apologetically. 

You took his hands in yours. “Dieter, it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not - I said we’d have four days together, undisturbed and -" he took a deep breath, then glanced at his assistant, “what if I show up for the post-viewing part?” 

With her eyes still downcast, she replied, “You need to be there by 7. Red carpet, photo ops, all the norms. The viewing starts at 8-”

He scratched his beard, “no, that's too early. How about 7:30? 7:45?” 

His assistant glanced up with a pinched expression. “Mr. Bravo, you know the drill.” 

He waved his hand, “I hate all that shit; besides I have company,” he kissed your hand.

“Be there at 7, get all the stuff out of the way and I’ll tell them you had business after so can’t do the Q&A?” 

“See! She’s the best - the best - “he jumped up and gave her a hug. “Wait, proper introductions.” 

Dieter proceeded to introduce you two, and you learned her name, Colleen. 

“Anything else before I go?” Colleen asked.

Dieter stretched out over your legs like a big cat. “Wait, they’ll have the Kit Kats, right? Last time, they forgot the Kit Kats-” 

“They will have the Kit Kats-”

"Are you sure? Will they be chilled?” 

“Yes, Mr. Bravo.” 

“Good -" he ran his fingers through his hair while nodding, then chuckled as you scratched his tummy. 

“Any other request?” 

You could tell she asked because she had to. Her stress level seemed high, but you could imagine why. As smitten as you were over Dieter, you would not want to be his personal assistant. 

“No - wait! “His eyes widened as he sat up, “a mascot! I need a mascot.”

“A mascot?” 

You even crooked a brow at him while biting back a laugh. 

“Yeah. Like they have in games but a big kit Kat.” he used his hands to demonstrate as he spoke. 

“Umm - I don’t know if -”

“If they want me there early, I need a mascot. I'll even do that stupid Instagram thing - only if I have the mascot.” 

“Um - yeah, a Kit Kat mascot…” Colleen jotted it down in her phone, “I will see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Colleen. Now I'd like to get back to my lady.” 

My lady, your heart fluttered at the words. 

“Nice to meet you, “she said your name, “bye Mr. Bravo.” 

“Dieter! Mr. Bravo sound so -”

She was already gone and out the door before he could finish. You scratched his tummy again with a smile, 

“You are so weird. A KitKat mascot?” 

“You like me anyway.” 

“I do.”

.

The premiere the next night went well. You got all dressed up and walked the carpet with Dieter, though it was a short walk. You waited off to the side for the rest as he took his solo shots and signed autographs. Even when you weren't at his side, he kept looking back at you and it made you feel close. 

Once all the necessary stuff was over, he changed into more comfortable clothes, you even got a few funny pictures with him and the Kit Kat mascot. Its appearance was confusing yet entertaining. It didn’t stay the whole time, just for the first hour. The mascot was waiting for you when you arrived at Dieter's dressing room. It was a compromise the theatre made to not distract from the event but fulfill Dieter's request. Dieter even paid the guy $200 bucks to keep the costume, which the guy agreed to. 

Afterward, you headed back to Sherman Oaks. For the last thirty minutes, you've been in Dieter's backyard lying on the trampoline. You’ve talked about your favorite stars and constellations and taught him some ones he didn't know but often saw in the sky. 

Dieter rolled on his side to look at you, “do you believe in Aliens?” 

“Of course.” 

“Me too. Think they're watching us right now?” 

“They could be.”

“We could give them a show?” 

“You are naughty, “you laughed, “how about you put on that Kit Kat costume, and I’ll get an alien one-”

“Ooh,” he sat up, “weird - but I like it -”

“I was just joking, you know.” 

“Nope,” he laid on top of you, “it's too late now. We have to do it.” 

.

24 hours later you were home and still buzzing from your visit. 

You didn’t have to wait long to hear from him either, he checked in to make sure you boarded and then landed safely. And later that night, he sent you a text once he got home from a busy day. 

Dieter: Looking at the stars, I am a little high, it was a stressful day okay... and thinking about you, that's the important part. See you soon Cosmo. 

Now Spring was here. 

You’ve been busy, busier than usual. With your new book finished you were officially in the time-consuming editing process. Plus, things amped up at work and you had a full plate. Dieter was busy too, as he was starting work on a new project. Your schedules meant it would be some time until you saw each other again and would have to rely on phone calls and texts in the meantime. 

As you reached the middle of May, you were missing him badly, but thankfully didn’t have to wait long. You were in the middle of some work when the text came.

Dieter: I can only stay for 2 days. NEEEEEED to see you.  

He arrived three days later. You were just out of the shower when he rang your bell. You unlocked the door, told him to come in then quickly pulled some clothes. He greeted you with a big kiss, then dramatically walked into the kitchen.

“Dieter you, okay?” 

He collapsed on the counter, hiding his face. “Don’t be mad.” 

“Okay - that is never a good way to start a sentence."

“It was awful, the worst ever -"

“Now you’re freaking me out."

He stripped off his jacket, threw it on the floor then held out his arm.

“Um?"

“The bracelet. It’s dead!” 

You burst into laughter. 

“No, no you don't understand, this is a very serious matter! I was wearing it - just getting my morning coffee and putting my headphones in - wired only and it just fucking - it went everywhere!" he was using sound effects now," worst day of my life. - Hey, I'm serious.” 

“I know I know and you're very cute." you caressed his face, fingers in his hair, “did you follow my care instructions?"

“Yes,” he said while shaking his head no. “I could have taken better care of it.” 

“These things happen, I can make you a new one.”

“No! I want the old one - the old one is special; it's the night we met.” 

“Managed to salvage any of it?” 

“Every-single -bead.” he dug a small bag out of his pocket. “I hope.” 

“Baby, it's okay, really, I'll use this to make you a new one, a Dieter-proof one.” 

.

While Dieter was out running errands the next day, you busied yourself with setting the mood for dinner. By the time you were done, candles decorated the table adding ambiance, and music played on the record player. 

He sent you an update text, letting you know he was running a little late on his return trip. Keeping the food warm, you took a seat and scrolled on your phone. A few funny and cute videos would pass the short wait. After a couple of entertaining videos, you came across one with Dieter’s face in the background, and a woman in the foreground speaking, 

“Dieter Bravo and co-star Scarlet Rose getting cozy on set -”

A knot formed in your gut, you quickly hit pause to shut her up. No, don’t look. It’s bullshit. Gossip. But the reminders don’t work, and you find yourself recalling that you and he never really had 'the talk'.  For you, even without a title, Dieter was your world, and you just kind of figured it was the same for him, now you wondered, if it wasn't. 

“Shit-” you press play on the video. The picture changes to one of Dieter and Scarlet looking really cozy.

"I don’t know about you, but they look really friendly to me."

You told yourself to stop but can't and then the last picture popped up. You studied it closely. At first glance, just two people speaking closely but the longer you looked-

“No, don’t fall for it. They’re just talking, and she stands too close to everyone.” You told yourself as you put your phone away. 

Even as Dieter walked through the door minutes later, your mood remained tainted. You smiled, dined, and even danced a little post-dinner but the entire time you were spiraling inside. 

When it came time for the dishes, Dieter volunteered to do them with you. You had a few things washed when he turned the water off and gently grabbed your shoulders. 

“Hey, where’d you go tonight?” 

“What do you mean?”

“You weren’t here. You were here - but not here.” 

“I’m fine,” you started to turn away, but he held you there, 

“Come on baby, what is it?”

You tried your best to avoid headlines and gossip, but every once in a while, one got to you, and tonight it did. You sighed and leaned against the sink. 

“Dieter?”

“Yeah?” he moved closer to you, concerned.

“-” you start and stop a few times, not knowing what to say, then finally spit out, “Scarlett Rose - “ 

At the sound of her name, Dieter sighed and cupped your cheeks with his hands. “Don’t let that get to you. It’s bullshit. Drama.” 

“In the photos, you just look so…”

Dieter grabbed your hand and led you to the table. Once you both seated, he looked you in the eye as he held your hands. “This is on me. I should've - I was so busy, then you got busy too. I didn’t push for anything definitive because I was worried.” 

“About?” 

“If you’d want to wait around for me that much, there may be times you don’t see me for half a year. It’s not easy."

“I know.” 

“My past, my reputation. I was scared you’d lose interest after a while.” 

“That’s crazy, it’s you, how could I ever get bored?”

“There’s that smile,” he kissed your forehead, “let me be clear then.  I’m off the market. There’s this sexy as fuck super smart astronomer -”

Your smile widened as relief washed over you. 

Dieter grew more animated as he talked, “She’s amazing! That’s where my heart is. Not some actress - you hear me.”

“Yes,” 

“I’m crazy about you, just you. Do you have any idea how much I look forward to seeing you?” he kissed your lips.

“Thank you, “you kissed him back, “that astronomer you speak of happens to be crazy about you too.” 

Dieter took a deep breath while admiring you, “Let’s make it official. You and me.”

“I’d like that.” 

“Me too,” he wrapped you in his arms, “I'm sorry, I should have asked earlier.” 

“You asked now, this is still special.”

Dieter pulled back from the hug first, your name soft on his lips, “I love you.” 

Relief and joy washed over you, “I love you too Dieter.” 

.

The year flew by, and soon it was November.

Busy with your book and work, you didn't get to fly out to LA as much as you wanted to. Dieter was also away filming. How little you saw each other was difficult but you made the best of it. As the days got closer to December you were filled with glee. You already thought the holidays were special, now Dieter gave them extra meaning.  

When a lull in your schedule came, you spent it at home and decided to do some deep cleaning. You were in the middle of that when Dieter called. Turning the music down, you answered the phone, 

“I'm outside.” 

“Really?” you lit up as you looked out the window to see him waving at you.

At this point, you haven't seen each other in months and missed him dearly. Happily, you rushed to the door and let him in. Jumping into his arms, you greeted each other with a hug and kiss. 

“I missed you,” he whispered against your skin. “I know this song, we did this together.” 

“I know, memories and all.” You grabbed your phone and showed it to him. It’s a playlist with his photo as the background titled ‘Kiss me under the mistletoe. “I know, it’s a little cheesy but it started with songs from the night, now I add any song that makes me think of you.” 

“You are adorable. “Excitedly, Dieter pulled up his phone and followed the playlist. Once that was done, he took a pouch out of his hand. "I have something for you.” 

“A visit and a gift, lucky me.” 

With one arm around you, he presented the pouch with the other. You opened the bag and pulled out a set of keys. 

“So, you can come to Sherman Oaks anytime you want even if I’m not there.”

“Dieter-” you hold them up with a smile. 

“I know we can’t move in together, technically - full time - your life and career are here, mine is in LA and wherever the work takes me. But, we can have a home base, together.” 

Feeling giddy, you rushed him with a kiss.  “I gotta make you a set of keys then, two home bases are better than one.” 

As you savor being in his arms, you think about the future. You and Dieter's relationship included lots of travel back and forth and one day it would be nice to be in the same place. 

Only part of your job at the Planetarium was on site, you wonder, if you get your job fully remote, maybe you could move out there temporarily? It was an idea with entering, especially as you and Dieter got more serious as time went on. 

.

You didn’t plan it this way, a book tour lining up with the holidays but here you were.

After publishing your sci-fi book (eight years in the making) in the spring, it was slow going, the sales and coverage you hoped for weren't there. Then something happened over the summer and fall, and your book took like wildfire. 

Due to some issues, your last date, which was supposed to be days ago, got delayed, which is why you were in another city days before Christmas, and not at home LA with Dieter. To be fair, his schedule got crazy last minute too, and he just made it back a day ago. 

You lovingly planned a whole holiday week together, a plan then had to abandon. It put you in a down mood and all you wanted was to be cozied up with him, not in some hotel room. 

Dieter: “It's okay baby, we’ll see each other tomorrow.”  

You: “I know I just - I had the perfect week planned and we didn’t get to do any of it.”  

Dieter: “I have you, that's all I need. Fuck the rest of it.” 

Later that night, as you prepared for bed, you got a text from Dieter with a link. You settled in, set two alarms for your flight then watched the video. 

Interviewer: We’re on set and behind the scenes with Dieter Bravo! Okay, first question and no cheating, what are the last two artists you listened to?” 

On the screen, Dieter was in his usual comfortable attire and wearing sunglasses. 

Dieter: Easy. Snoop Dog, Fleetwood Mac.

Interview: Wow, what a fun mix! 

Dieter: It’s my lady’s playlist, good stuff.

Dieter lowered his shades and winked at the camera, and you knew, no matter what other fans were watching and losing their shit, that wink was solely for you. He even tapped his arm where your bracelet lived before the interview continued. 

.

‘We are beginning our descent into Los Angeles-’ 

The overhead announcement pulled you from your light sleep. A light tingling sensation washed over you, followed by the urge to smile. This happened every time you landed in LA to see Dieter. Time was on your mind as well, today marked one year since you met. The night you met often replayed in your mind like a movie, even 12 months out, it was still hard to believe.

Off the plane now, you moved through the airport, each step getting you closer and closer to your love as anticipation buzzed within you. Dieter always sent the same car and driver, so you went to pick-ups and looked for a familiar face. You’re only down there for a few minutes when you see him holding a sign scribbled with hearts, in the middle was the nickname for you, ‘Cosmo’. 

“I cannot handle how cute you are!” You hurried your steps as he ran toward you. 

As you went in for a kiss, Dieter pulled a mistletoe from his pocket and held it over your head. 

“It’s tradition now. Happy anniversary!” 

“Happy anniversary,” you echoed before kissing him. 

This past fall, you and Dieter talked about an anniversary date. You met on Christmas Eve and started to see each other casually after that. But you didn’t make it official until the

springtime. When Dieter said time was just a man-made thing and you didn’t have to adhere to it, you both decided to make Christmas Eve your official anniversary date. 

.

As soon as you arrived at the house, Dieter asked you to close your eyes and led you to the living room.  

“I never have time to have a tree. The one time I did, I didn’t decorate it, it just sat there naked. I was upstairs painting and smoking a joint then I thought, do trees get cold? And I put a robe on it.” 

You laughed, “Of course you would.”

Dieter guided you into place, resting his hands on your hips. “Don’t worry, I used real decorations this year. Only the best for my love - open your eyes in 3-2-1.”

You gasped as you moved close to the tree. “Dieter!” 

“I stayed up all night to get it right -” he watched as you checked out the ornaments and lights, “I might have got too obsessed with getting it right,” he started counting on his fingers, “you should have seen it. I had Pinterest boards, watched videos, took a screenshot of the tree in your favorite Christmas movie…”

“It’s perfect!” 

It was the tree of your dreams, every detail from the ornaments, the color of the lights, the height. 

You look back, finding him smiling at you. “I know we were supposed to do it together.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he hugged you from behind and rested his head on your shoulder. "A little sleep deprivation is a small price to pay for that look in your eyes. That’s what I wanted to see.” 

“I love you so much.” 

He brushed the tip of his nose against yours, “I love you too.” 

.

After a long eventful day, you and Dieter lay in bed warm and cozy, cuddling as moonlight streamed through the windows casting its silvery rays across your faces. Sleep called, its lullaby pleasing to your ears, but no match for the sweet trail of kisses Dieter planted on your shoulder. 

“I read your book again on my flight last week.” 

“You did?” you smiled feeling peaceful. 

“Question,” he reached over to the nightstand, grabbing your book. He flipped to a specific page and pointed at it. “This sex scene, was this inspired by that night after the concert?”

“In New York? When you were absolutely feral? Yes, rewrote the original scene. What can I say, you were my muse.”

“I knew it!” He threw his hands in the air. “Wait! The hair, the way he speaks - was he inspired by the space movie I didyears ago?” Dieter's eyes flew open wide. 

You pressed your finger to your lips, “If you don’t tell, I won't.” 

“This was so fucking hot baby.” 

“Have access to a sci-fi movie set where we can role-play?” you asked suggestively. 

“I would do this in a heartbeat.” 

You sat up and scooted closer to him. “Sometimes I still pinch myself to make sure this is real,” you confess happily. 

Dieter had a response ready but found himself tongue-tied as he looked into your eyes; you took his breath away, and he knew you still would when you were both old and grey. Slowly, Dieter tilted his head and moved in for a kiss. 

In each other's embrace, you stay here a while; in this space of love and warmth, trust and safety; home. Your hearts beating as one, drums in unison. Every brush of the lips, every caress, every pang of desire further deepening the bond between you. 

Dieter pulled you beneath him on the bed, teasing his lips against yours as you wrapped your legs around him. 

“You're not the only one with a present we need to wait for.” 

“Is that so?” Earlier in the evening as you exchanged gifts, you told him you had one more. It was something you were working hard at and hoped to present him with tonight but it wasn’t ready. 

“Mmmhmm. We gotta go to a place to see it. Road trip in a few days?” 

“I’d love that,” you replied while playing with his hair. 

.

Dieter took you on a short road trip, it was filled with sightseeing and off-the-beaten-track stops. You already had so much fun by the time you reached the destination you didn’t know what to expect, or how he would top it all. 

The observatory was amazing. Dieter loved watching you geek out as you took it all in. He gave you plenty of space to explore before guiding you to your gift. 

“Ooh a telescope?” 

He spoke off to the side with the guide who then put it in a specific position. 

“Sweetheart, I want you to look through this and tell me what you see.

“Okay,” the little kid in yours was so giddy from this whole trip. You loved any excuse to look at the stars. Once you settled in, you noticed the telescope was zoomed in as close as

possible with a star in the center. 

“Wanna know her name?” Dieter kneeled beside you, softly whispering your name in your ear. 

“No way!” you looked at him with a wide smile and tears in the corner of your eyes. 

He nodded enthusiastically, “way.” 

“I’m a fucking star in the galaxy!” 

“Thank you for an amazing year baby, and so many more to come.” 

Overwhelmed with joy, you jump into his arms. The two of you fall backward as you kiss. 

.

2024

You were nearly shaking with anticipation as the day came. You had breakfast, spent some time at the Met, and then finally took Dieter to his present. No matter how much he tried to get details out of you, you didn’t cave. But when you arrived at the address, his eyes flew open in surprise. 

“No fucking way-” he grabbed your arm, “baby?” 

“Yes.”

“How?!” 

“I have my connections too. I may not be a famous movie star, but it turns out 6 degrees of separation can really be helpful.” you pointed to the tattoo artist's name, “turns out his father used to be an Astronomy professor and knew my boss.” 

“This is the best present ever!” Dieter jumped up and down, then pulled you into a big hug. 

He had a few tattoos, all small. He had a bigger piece in mind, there was only one guy he wanted to do it. A man who was booked years out, even for Hollywood stars, and worked all over the world. He was rarely ever at his NY studio these days. Dieter hoped to work with him but didn’t know if it would ever really happen - until you. 

“You worked your magic baby, amazing!” he gave you a big kiss and then rushed inside, pulling you along behind him. 

.

Life with Dieter was exciting, funny, sensual, and at times frustrating. You knew who he was, and what his life was like. So going in you had some context, but being his girlfriend and living it real time was a wild ride. Still, you and Dieter’s love deepened with each day. 

This fairy tale turned reality was still strange, and you were thankful for every second of it, even the upsetting parts but this was still your reality - you were the woman who captured his heart. Dieter wasn’t shy about his romance or how in love he was. He was super protective of you, while also letting the world know yes, he was taken, happily. 

“I’m a very lucky man, and yes, I’m in love. She’s fucking amazing.” He said in one interview. 

He didn’t like paparazzi getting close to you and wasn’t shy about telling reporters and others to mind their business and give you space. He even took you to events, which was wild the first time, it was a trip and felt like a dream - you still have the photo taken of you two on the red carpet on your photo wall. He looked so happy, smiling as he buried his face in your hair; all the flashing lights and big names, and all he saw was you. 

As the year moved along, there were still long periods where you didn’t see each other, and at times, you missed him so much it hurt. But you always knew you'd reunite, and it made the reunions so much sweeter. As for your living situation, it was kind of all over, your place, his place, and everything in between. Though you were making the best of it, it was getting a little exhausting at times. You knew some changes may be needed, possibly sooner than later, but you were also anxious about upsetting the wacky balance that was your lives together. 

.

Now, three weeks before Christmas, you made your way to LA. You’d stay for two months this time, and we're looking forward to it. After a busy shoot, Dieter had four weeks of vacation coming up and was looking forward to spending every second of it with you.

But your reunion had to wait just a little longer. You’d spend these first two weeks alone, decorating the house, getting the tree up, and writing. You had an idea for your third book and the words were flying, wanting to ride the inspiration wave, you decided to spend the time before his arrival getting as much work done as possible, then nothing but relaxing once he arrived. Unlike last year, you were the one arriving early while Dieter would be late. He hoped to return from the UK by Christmas Eve, and then you’d start your vacation

together. 

After landing, you rented a car and headed to his house. Upon approaching, your jaw dropped, the house was decked out, with lights, Santa, snowmen, and elves - all of it and you couldn't help but laugh because there was just so much of everything, like Dieter decorated in one of his manic states. 

“Oh Dieter,” you laughed, imagining him frantically decorating before flying out. He must have done this to give you more time to write.

Once inside the house, you dropped off your bags by the door then followed the sound of music to the living room. Was one of his assistants here? The occasional house staff? You were happy to do things on your own, so when you visited you didn’t need extra hands around. 

Half expecting to see the part-time butler or one of his assistants, you turned the corner and entered the living room. 

“Oh my god-” 

You raised your hands to your mouth, taking in the gorgeous Christmas tree. Dieter was currently on a ladder, adding a star on the top. 

“Surprise!” He said with a big smile. 

“‘What are you doing here?” 

“That's kind of how surprises work baby, you don’t tell the person - “

“Smartass,” you made your way to him as he climbed down. His pockets were stuffed with ornaments, and he had a row of lights round his neck. “You look like a Christmas tree.” 

“Two for one- “he grinned then dug a mistletoe from his pocket, 

“Gladly,” you sing, cupping his cheeks with your hands as you kiss him. 

.

Dieter stopped in the doorway as you typed at your computer, your fingers moving quickly as the words left you at lightning speed. He loved watching you work, loved watching you do anything really. And he was more than happy to turn this room into your writing sanctuary, it was filled with excess canvases and this house was always too big for him, well - until you got here, only then did it really start to feel like home.

Leaving you to it, he stepped away quietly and returned to the kitchen to unbag the groceries. It’s been three days since you arrived, three blissful days, days he dreamed of on his long nights and early mornings on set. 

He was happy, over the moon really but he was also so damn nervous his stomach was in knots. This was going well, better than he expected, better than he ever maintained any other relationship before.

The truth was, he fell in love with you that very first night. You had his heart, then and there. And he spent a bunch of time afraid he’d fuck it up, so he convinced himself it was good - being so busy - he couldn't fuck things up that way. He was thankful he came to his senses and made it official that night at your place, he deserved this, you were meant to be together. 

.

After dinner, you cleared up the kitchen then snuggled on the couch to watch one of your favorite holiday movies. As the movie went on, you noticed Dieter was distracted, in fact, he had been during all of dinner. 

“Hey,” you turned the movie off, “you, okay?” 

He cleared his throat as he looked at you, clearly nervous. 

“Dieter,”

You took his hand in yours, worried about what it could be. He did just film with an old party buddy and fellow actor of his, was this related to that? Was he feeling tempted? Whatever it was, you’d support him and help him through it. 

He ran his hands through his hair once, then a second time, and took a deep breath. 

“Okay, I am officially very worried. Talk to me.” 

“I think a kiss will make me feel better.” 

“I’ll give you all the kisses you want,” after the kiss, you wrapped your arms around him while holding eye contact. “Talk to me.” 

He wet his lips, then closed his eyes. You can do this. Don’t be a chicken shit. Just ask!  

When he opened his eyes again, they were soft and full of love. He held your face in his hands, 

“You're the love of my life. My soulmate. I knew it the moment I saw you. Marry me?”

“Yes, I'll marry you!” 

There were no awkward pauses, no hesitation, this was 100% a yes and you could feel your soul dancing. Dieter was your other half, the missing puzzle piece you didn't even know you needed. Happy as a puppy, Dieter littered your face with kisses.

“Oh shit, the ring, wait -"he got it out of his pocket and down on one knee, “let me do this right.” 

Before you could tell him, his way was perfect, he proceeded, the sound of your name was like poetry on his tongue, 

“Will you marry me?”

You kneeled too, “of course, I’ll marry you - as long as there’s chilled Kit Kats and karaoke.” 

Dieter laughed and placed the ring on your finger. “You’re fucking amazing.” 

You stared at your hand, happy tears falling down your cheeks. “Holy shit! Mrs. Bravo!"

He smiled softly, admiring you while caressing the length of your arm. “Dreams do come true my love.” 

“Damn right they do,” you took one more look at the ring, then at him, savoring the look in his eyes, “Mrs. Bravo?!"

“Mrs. Bravo.” He repeated as he pressed his lips to yours. 

As an exception I posted this in full. I no longer post full work on tumblr, just on A03.

I’ve been down with a bad cold over a week now so pls forgive any horrible grammar issues, my head is super congested, did my best 💜Arte

✨Previous Secret Santas: one, two

✨My Pedro character masterlist

✨Masterlist

More moodboards below

Be kind, reblog 💜it helps more people see it. ✨

[elainsgirl]

no cause im actually getting annoyed.

gwyn this. gwyn that. like please shut up. we barely know anything about this girl and you're talking about her being an auntie? her saving the world? not to mention they always block out emerie which is very weird.

Hey anon 🫶

Lmfao, you’re feelings are so valid & relatable.

The only reason Gwyn Berdara has become so huge is the fact she is used as a self-insert LI for Azriel. That is the root of her mainstream popularity. And its sad how much of her character has become interwined with Azriels when this poor girl has shown 0 romantic interest in him. She’s being thust into a “love triangle” when she hasn’t even shown any interest in the guy- it just goes to show how her “stans” love her for the fact she can replace Elain.

Gwyn was your standard side character. We got her backstory like with Emerie. Both helped Nesta in her journey, both had focus on them - the difference being Gwyn had magic and Emerie doesn’t. but why has Emerie been so overshadowed by Gwyn? Bcs Gwyn is linked to a man. Sad isn’t it. and thats just the ugly truth.

this isn’t me saying the *only* reason Gwyn is so liked is due to her being Azriel’s theorised mate. People loved her strength, bravery, vulnerability, the openness in which she accepted Nesta etc etc. She would have had the same level of popularity as other side characters,

Yet she’s quite literally shoved down everyones’ throats all because she is shipped with Azriel. Its come to the fact - this whole gwynriel propaganda has overshadowed the point and focus of the story - which has always been the archeron sisters.

Gwyn will wield Gwydion. She will help with the prison - not Elain who is literally is linked with life and regrowth, who has used TT right - nope. Its Gwyn. Gwyn will become Rhysands bestie, Gwyn will be the new IC member, Gwyn will help Nesta rule etc etc. And its all so sadly funny,

All this just bcs they:

. Dont like elriel, Elain and the direction the series is going in.

before anyone says im bitter, im not. Its to be expected bcs Gwyn Berdara is perfect. She has no flaws. She has a general, popular fun, quirky “we can do this guys!” “Go us!”, personality. Yet still a blank slate for her “stans” to place any characteristic, theory or HC on her that they like. She has some interactions with the cool, mysterious Azriel and thats all you need for gwynriel. Thats all you need for G to become centre staged. It would have happened with any other fc that wouldve interacted with Azriel.

Whilst it is annoying and the meaning of the series has truly been lost to that side of the fandom, I think frustration comes from downplaying Elains role & giving it to Gwyn. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to be done. Popularity in the end will never matter. Sjm loves writing about polarising, flawed characters which Elain is and Gwyn isn’t. Clearly, Gwyn was never meant to be play a big role otherwise Mass - an author who loves foreshadowing- would have been introduced in person earlier. Its nice to remember: Elain was the focus of two bonuses. Elain has her book confirmed. Mass said SF left hints for Elains story. Not gwyn. Not Azriel. But Elain Archeron. At least the love for her is more genuine then I’ve seen from some Gwyn stans.

[lovebvni]

Winter Themed Pick-A-Pile !! (from 12.21.21)

❍⌇─➭ welcome to ﹀﹀     ︵↷

⌗my blog : ๑ ˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ ⌨꒱

Here are the questions we'll be answering today! Summited by the LOVELY Rozy !!

1. What do I need to do to fully shift?

2. Shifting advice from your spirit guides.

3. Shifting journey for this month.

4. Advice from your s/o.

There will be 4 piles today, all unique, but you can always pick more than one!! But remember, everything comes with a grain of salt because this is an amino with over a THOUSAND people in it. It wont be specific just to you ! Also, if you're unsure, just do this for me.

Take a deep breath in....

Hold for 3

Now let it out and allow your intuition to speak.

The first number 1-4 that comes to mind, THAT'S going to be your pile. If more than one comes, trust it.

[1, 2

3,4]

Pile 1 - With your perfect toes TRIGGER WARNING : DERALISATION IN THE 3RD QUESTION, ALSO DEPRESSION AND MENTIONS OF TRAUMA/SH

Spirit, What does Pile 1 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Hierophant (R), The Devil (R) The Chariot

I feel like you guys need to let go of traditions, or routines! You don't need ANYTHING other than yourself to shift, you're powerful! Your doubts, I feel like you're silently telling yourself you'll never shift, You will ! I promise, so STOP telling yourself you're weak, worthless, etc. Then you're gonna STRIVE!

Shifting advice, from your spirit guides !

King of Swords, 2 of Pentacles (R), 10 of Swords (R)

Okay wait, let me say something, I think you're shifting before january 1st... I got 10 of swords and thats like the end of waiting for something. Realize your power, and the good things will run to YOU !! Write a letter to SOMEONE, ANYONE in your dr ! I feel like they'll be really happy about it ! I see an abundance of good luck and success for you guys, just the weight of the world being lifted off you, just so much peace, happiness, love, abundance, GOD I love you guys sm, keep working for you goal ! Just - GOD I LOVE THIS I CANT IM GOING TO CRY!! I FELT MY HEART JUST FLOAT ITS - GODDAMIT I CANT WORDS !

Your shifting journey this month

Page of Pentacles (R), King of Swords, 3 of Swords + Ace of Pentacles

I don't think you guys have that great attraction to this reality... I feel as if you're going to suffer this WHOLE month because of one bad thing that happened, you heart is in pain, you want to end it all, DONT! I see a new beginning for you this month, so PLEASE! Don't stop trying, everything seems like its falling apart, it's not I swear!

General Advice from your s/o

10 of Pentacles(R), The Devil, The Chariot

OKAY WAIT THESE ARE THE SAME CARDS FROM QUESTION ONE??? THE DEVIL AND THE CHARIOT - BUT THIS TIME THE DEVIL IS UPRIGHT...

But they saying stop obsessing over someone/something, like material possessions? but probably not, that only applies to some of you. There's stuff going on around you, and I can tell, that's black energy, let go of it, cleanse it, FUCKING BLOCK IT OUT! That will help you move forward a LOT !!!

I hope this pile made you realize something !! also check this out below !!

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): distractions, shifting for your s/o, love, lack of self-love, misunderstood, determined, "it's set in stone", "It's stuck in my chest", messages, lots of signs, heartbreak, blood,  the colour red, Himiko Toga, Hisoka (bestie idk), derealization, spacing out, ADHD, ADD, attention disorders, stop - no go, WAIT STOP (almost like things you're being told are contradicting), material girl, Air signs, Capricorns, Cancer, Fire signs, 555, 111, 1111

Pile 2 - the deer is gonna start chasing you soon, NOW RUN !!!

Spirit, What does Pile 2 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Empress, 8 of Wands, 8 of cups

Realize. I could stop right there, but you just need to REALIZE everything. You are SO LOVED !! You have so many good things coming to you. A union is coming, I can tell your shifting for someone, probably friends and just to have fun.Walk away from ALL the doesn't serve you, things that aren't helping, worthless things.

Spirit, can Pile 2 have some shifting advice?

Ace of Cups, The Lovers, 10 of Wands

Okay, there is a new beginning coming, but you need to realize you need to SPEND TIME with your partner, weather in your cr or dr, I feel like they miss you and feel lieft out rom your life.

Can I know something about Pile 2's shifting journey this month?

6 of Wands, The Empress, 2 of Swords(R)

You're going to win SOME kind of fight !! I feel like you guys are going to get your first shift or a BIG boost of motivation to shift. But you guys are SO FUCKING WORRED ABT IT ! choose where and when you wanted to shift, stop making changes to your script.

Does Pile 2's s/o have any general advice?

The Devil (R), Ace of Cups, 5 of Cups

You're being freed soon! You cup isn't going to be half full or half empty, ITS GOING TO BE OVERFLOWING!! You're going to let go of SOMETHING or SOMEONE and that's going to make such a difference. They love you btw! < 333 Positive energy is coming !

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers):  Hunchback, sitting weird, overthinker, Panic attacks, Panic Room - Au/Ra, intuition driven, physic, Cancer, Water signs, 888

OMG PILE 3 IS GETTING MARRIED !!! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!

What does pile 3 need to shift? Do they even need to do something?

Ace of Swords (R), Queen of Swords, 2 of Cups

Okay, you guys need to get out your little shitty bubbly and TALK TO PEOPLE !! This will help a lot, I feel like talking to shifters will help, like-minded people are ALWAYS the best to speak to. I know, you're independent, but you can't do everything alone.

We need shifting advice for pile 3, I've been doing this for 4 hours PLEASE -

Knight of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Judgement (R)

Your prince is coming~ they could also be a princess. Come True - khai dreams, Forest came on so uh.... listen to that  But realize good things are coming to you ! Focus on the best version of yourself, you're a ruler ! You are NOT what anyone negatively says to you, you're amazing.

Pile 3's shifting journey this month?

Page of Swords, Strength, Judgement (R)

If you have the strength, determination, and reality to shift this month, you will.

General advice from Pile 3's s/o's

5 of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, The Emperor

I dropped all my cards during this omg... but major Bakugou vibes. You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and more IF you just TALK, SPREAD UR WISDOM !!! Just make a blog on something, you prob have drafts you should inish it and post it

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Air signs, independence, introvert, 1010, Denki Kaminari, Hunter x Hunter(listen to the intro song rn), Clumsy

Pile 4, FINALLY, bestie i've been at this for 5 hours

What does Pile 4 need to fully shift?

10 of Cups, Ace of Cups, The Chariot

Go check out Pile 1 after this, but I feel like you guys need to ground yourself. You want to go to one reality, then the next, then the next, in like a dAY this will lead you to move forward with a new beginning.

Shifting advice from your Spirit Guides.

The Hierophant, Page of Wands, The Devil

When you try to shift, look at it like you WILL shift, like you ARE shifting, you ARE in your dr, like you HAVE succeeded !! Any time you get bad news, just be happy, be accepting of it !!

Shifting journey for this month.

9 of Wands, Queen of Cups (R), 7 of Swords (R)

Okay, sadly, you are not shifting this month because of how much you have to changeee, literally I- if you dooooo its because you make a dramatic change quickly. I'd be REALLY suprized if you do shift because you are STUBBORN ASF !!! You're ignoring signs and warnings, stop. Stop.

Advice from you s/o

6 of Wands, Knight of Wands, The Lovers

Socialize, try to get in a better position by talking to others. I feel like you're taking a trip/going on a journey so enjoy it !!! You're going to meet new peopleand you'll be excited, and hell maybe even meet a cr s/o.

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Disappointed, sad, sorry, Fire Signs, stubborn asses, Katsuki Bakugou

Okay guys! I hope you enjoyed the pick-a-pile!! I do private readings if you need anything ! I hope this resonated !! Again sorry pile 4 for being a bit bitchy but Spirit said what Spirit said, and sorry for everyone going through anything, it will get better soon !!!/gen