#that... was probably not in my best interest

[thankskenpenders]

Thoughts on two specific areas of the writing in Sonic X Shadow Generations

The best new 3D Sonic game in over a decade (or even two, depending on who you ask) dropped late last year. And I didn't write anything about it! Sometimes life happens. Well, I've finally sat down to finish Shadow Generations, and by now everyone has already been singing its praises for three months. This is the rare instance where the entire Sonic fandom, and even mainstream reviewers, are in agreement on something. The level design is the best it's been in a long, long time and the cool factor is off the charts, embracing Sonic's peak cringe era in an incredibly confident way. It's great. If you're even reading this post, you probably don't need me to tell you that. So I won't!

No, what I'm really interested in here is the writing. Because this is me we're talking about. But I actually don't want to talk about the main narrative of Shadow Generations, which is really solid little story about Black Doom trying to mold Shadow into his perfect soldier. No, I'd like to zero in on two other aspects of the writing here: the revisions made to Sonic Generations, and Gerald Robotnik's unlockable journal.

The updated Sonic Generations script

The new package mostly presents Sonic Generations how you remember it. There are some tweaks, but it's not a major overhaul. Graphically, I don't think the game has been touched much, if at all. I certainly can't notice any difference without a side-by-side comparison, despite playing it on a PS5. The most notable update is that the game's script has been rewritten by Ian Flynn.

Naturally, this caught my attention. Generations always had a nothingburger story, so with Ian rewriting Pontac and Graff's lame dialogue there was nowhere to go but up. (I don't like to pin the blame for those games' stories entirely on them, as a ton of it was dictated to them by Sonic Team, but, well, I don't think they're very good dialogue writers.) But it's less a complete rewrite and more like Ian was brought on as a script doctor for some minor touch ups here and there. Many lines of dialogue are completely identical to how they were originally written in 2011, and many others only have slight wording changes. Ian was clearly not allowed to request additional scenes or extend the ones that already existed. He has to match the original beat for beat so that they can reuse 99% of the cutscene animations. Don't expect it to be a whole new experience compared to the original.

Still, I think the new script is an improvement, albeit a minor one. Various things have been tweaked to maintain characterization consistency. Cream calls Sonic "Mr. Sonic" instead of just "Sonic." Instead of calling Sonic "buddy," Rouge uses the pet name "Blue," like she tends to do in things like the IDW comics. Espio doesn't have to remind you in the dialogue that he's a ninja, and he no longer has a line making it sound like he has some kind of soul reading power. I also like that Modern Sonic now actually has responses to what his friends say when he rescues them, rather than being silent like Classic Sonic. They won't blow you away, but they make Sonic feel a little more engaged with everything.

In general, the altered dialogue just seems tighter to me, and some of the more childish or trite wording of Pontac and Graff's script has been altered. Here, let's actually make a direct comparison, just because this stuff is interesting to me as a writer. Here's a couple lines from after the Egg Dragoon fight late in the game, in the original script:

Modern Eggman: Ooooh... I can't believe this! I was supposed to beat you this time. Modern Sonic: Aw, I'm sorry! I didn't get that memo. I beat you every time! [Turns to Classic Sonic] No, seriously, we beat this guy every time. It's like it's our job or something!

This is a simple exchange. Eggman is mad that he lost. Sonic is unflappably confident because he always beats Eggman, and he explains this to his younger self. But the wording here isn't particularly good. Eggman's simple and direct wording makes him come off like a little kid who's mad because his older brother beat him at Mario Kart, rather than a mad scientist who just had his plans foiled. It's making light of the situation.

And I've never liked Sonic saying "It's like it's our job or something!" That doesn't feel like a thing Sonic would say, it feels like a thing an outside observer would say about Sonic. This is a frequent problem with so-called "MCU dialogue," where quips meant to echo the commentary of a casual, somewhat disinterested audience are inserted into the story itself so that the writers can be like "See? We get it. We're genre-savvy, too!" It also just reminds me of bad Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric lines like "Rings! It's like they're made for me!"

And then here's Ian's rewrite:

Modern Eggman: I recalibrated everything! This was supposed to be my time! Modern Sonic: Oh, please, keep dreamin', Egg-head. I beat you every time. [Turns to Classic Sonic] No, seriously, we beat him every time. Our score card's flawless.

Eggman's still mad about his defeat, but the line "I recalibrated everything!" makes it more specific. He put all this work into the engineering side of his latest scheme and got tunnel vision, thinking if he got his creations just right there'd be no way he could lose. "This was supposed to be my time!" also turns it into a time travel pun, which is a bonus. He's still pitching a fit over losing, but it feels more like Eggman pitching a fit, rather than sounding childish.

And then instead of saying that beating Eggman is "like his job or something," Sonic says he's got a flawless score card against Eggman. He doesn't take Eggman seriously as a threat—at least, not to his face. He acts like it's all a game. But he conveys this in a way that feels truer to the character, rather than feeling like the words of a real world observer poking fun at the tropes of the Sonic series.

Is this amazing, A+ dialogue that blows me away? No. Again, it's not a completely different scene from the one we already had. Ian had to fit the beats of what was already there. He couldn't go all out and write an all new story confirming his longstanding headcanon that the Time Eater is a remnant of Solaris or whatever. But the wording here makes the existing story land a little better and feel truer to the characters in subtle ways.

But to me, the main change is that the Sonics and Tailses seem to have a more solid understanding of what's going on with the timeline and the Time Eater, compared to how idiotic they sometimes seemed in the original game. Which is good! No more standing outside Green Hill and wondering why it seems so familiar. Thank god. As part of this, yes, there are a few more references to past games in the dialogue, like Sonic briefly being confused about the fact that they're time traveling without the Time Stones, or South Island and Westside Island being acknowledged as the normal locations of Green Hill and Chemical Plant. Yes, ha ha, insert joke about how Ian loves references here. Look, it's Sonic fucking Generations. It's a game built entirely out of nostalgic references. Just own it! And, again, in this instance Sonic and Tails come off as less stupid when they make it clear that they do, in fact, remember their adventures from presumably less than a year ago in-universe.

Eggman, too, seems to have a better understanding of the powers he's toying with. Where in the original vesion his focus was simply on going back in time to undo his previous defeats and he seemed kind of oblivious to how much the Time Eater was actually fucking up the universe, here Eggman says he wants to use the Time Eater to give himself complete control over the entire timeline. Eggman also makes way fewer references to his own failures and shortcomings. Of course he won't admit that Sonic has defeated him time and time again. To him, he's never truly lost—Sonic just keeps delaying the inevitable total victory for the Eggman Empire.

So, yes. The new Sonic Generations script is better. It won't blow anyone away, but it's better than it was. It's been elevated from "kinda lame" to "fine." No, if you really wanna see Ian flex his ability to breathe new life into old Sonic stories, look no further than...

Gerald Robotnik's Journal

Hoo boy.

The story of what happened aboard the ARK has always been... a bit confusing, to say the least. Fans with encyclopedic knowledge of the script for every route of Shadow '05 may disagree, but it's the truth. We've had all the pieces to understand the story for a long time now, but that info was given to us out of order by a pair of unreliable narrators—Gerald, who became a vengeful lunatic shortly before his death, and Shadow, who was subjected to multiple rounds of amnesia and altered memories. Some of the ambiguity left by Sonic Adventure 2 was cleared up in Shadow '05, but that game also retconned in a bunch of new elements to Shadow's backstory (aliens!) that lead to further confusion. Not to mention the fact that that game had multiple routes and only revealed the truth about Shadow if you sat on the ultimate final boss battle for WAY longer than the fight would normally last. Or the fact that Sonic X made its own tweaks in its telling of the story. Or the fact that none of these things ever had the best English translations. I can't blame anyone who hasn't played those games in two decades for not remembering the truth about these characters and getting some details mixed up.

What we needed was something to piece together all of the info we have into one coherent backstory, told in chronological order. And thanks to Shadow Generations, we have that, in the form of an official journal tying together what we knew from Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow '05, and Sonic Battle into the tragic tale of Gerald's rise and fall.

Ian Flynn was the perfect man for the job here as the guy who started his career by tidying up the mess that was the first 159 issues if Archie Sonic. This is what he excels at: taking disparate bits of weird Sonic lore from multiple different sources, boiling them down to their most interesting elements, and connecting it together in a way that will make the audience see the dramatic potential he's always known was there. Rather than feeling like a cynical exercise in franchise building, going back and explaining things that never needed explaining so that people can add more bullet points to the wiki, he puts a new spin on things that retroactively enriches those past stories. The story here means something to the characters involved and gives us a better understanding of them as people, rather than as plot devices to motivate Shadow.

(And, of course, Ian didn't do this journal alone. He wrote the story, but I also have to give a huge shout out to Evan Stanley, who made the final product. All of her handwritten journal entries, sketches, and "photos" included throughout. The physical damage done to the journal over the course of 50 tumultuous years, passing from Gerald to Eggman to a certain special someone at GUN. The way Gerald's handwriting gets less and less legible as his mental state declines. So much love was put into what could have been a mere text dump in a menu, and it really elevates it to the next level. Congrats on officially getting hired by Sega, Evan, you've sure as hell earned it!)

The main idea the journal conveys is that Gerald was under a lot of pressure from a lot of different parties—GUN, the President, his colleagues aboard the ARK, Black Doom, even his own family—and boy did it get to him. The known incidents aboard the ARK mentioned in previous games are put together here to form a story where everything slowly spirals out of control as Gerald keeps compromising his morals to further his research, thinking he'll eventually find some way out of all this because he's a genius. I won't recap that whole story here (if you haven't already played the game and read the journal entries, I would highly recommend at least reading it on the Sonic wiki), but I'd like to highlight my favorite elements of the story, as Ian tells it here.

1) The Eclipse Cannon

Here's something that never quite made sense in Sonic Adventure 2: why does the ARK have a laser that can blow up the Earth built into it? It was supposed to be a peaceful research colony. Sure, Gerald went crazy and swore revenge on the Earth, but, like... when did he have an opportunity to go back up to the ARK and modify it? Did he have someone else do it? How? The ARK was raided by GUN and shut down! And then they arrested him, held him in prison for an unclear period of time, and executed him by firing squad when he was no longer useful! It doesn't add up. Shadow 'the Hedgehog '05 would give its own answer by introducing the Black Arms and saying that the Eclipse Cannon was always supposed to be a secret trump card against the Black Comet. But, like... we know that's kind of a bullshit answer, right? You don't need enough power to blow up a whole planet just to destroy a comet.

Well, the new journal retains what we already knew, but it paints a much more complete picture.

See, long before Gerald ever made a Faustian bargain with Black Doom, he had already made one with an even greater evil: the military. GUN gave Gerald much of the funding for the ARK, Gerald's personal utopian research station in space, but it didn't take long for GUN to start pressuring him to design them weapons. Gerald tried to get GUN off his back by personally contacting the President of the United Federation, and the President gave him an alternative: how about, instead, you just use your genius brain to figure out the secret to immortality for us, so our soldiers can be immortal? Gerald was initially sickened by the notion and found it completely absurd, like chasing a shadow... but given no other option, the sarcastically named Project Shadow soon began in earnest. (Maria would later put a more positive spin on the name after Shadow's awakening, pointing out that a Shadow can show us the direction of the light, like she says in the game itself.)

Of course, this search for the ultimate life form didn't go very well, and without any results on that front GUN kept hounding him for weapons. Gerald would throw them a bone here and there to get them off his back. His research on Chaos resulted in the Artifical Chaos prototypes, which he worried would be used for warfare but could at least theoretically be used for search and rescue missions in floods, in his mind. But that wasn't enough. So he gave them Chaos Drives to power their mechs. And that still wasn't enough. He's got Emerl. He'll give them Emerl. They're not impressed by Emerl. They'll shut the whole ARK down if Gerald doesn't give them something big.

Fine! GUN wants something big? Gerald builds a huge fucking laser cannon into the ARK. However, as a middle finger to GUN, Gerald makes it so powerful that it would destroy the Earth if it was ever fired at any target on its surface. In other words, GUN now has their ultimate weapon of mass destruction, fulfilling his contract, but they can never actually use it. Oh, the delicious irony. (And also Shadow will blow up the Black Comet with it in 50 years yada yada yada.) Is this perhaps extremely shortsighted and naive of Gerald, to believe that such a weapon would never actually be used just because of the risk? Of course. But hey, that's Gerald for you. And I love this as an answer.

(Also, this, uh, kinda echoes something from real life! Remember the bit in Oppenheimer where he says all nuclear war will become unthinkable, and Edward Teller responds "until somebody builds a bigger bomb"? Yeah, Teller went on to conceptualize a superweapon codenamed Project Sundial that would have been able to kill all life on the planet, as the ultimate deterrent for war. This was never made for obvious reasons, but hey, there's a basis for this sort of thinking outside of heightened sci-fi! There's a whole Kurzgesagt video about this if you're interested.)

2) The Biolizard

The Biolizard is, of course, brought up as the initial failed prototype of the ultimate life form, from before Gerald met Black Doom. We don't really learn all that much about it that we didn't already know, but I just love the way it's framed in the story.

As you can see above, we actually get to see a picture of Maria holding up the cute little salamander that would end up mutating into the Biolizard through Gerald's experiments. (Researchers want to figure out how to replicate salamanders' regenerative abilities for humans in real life, too, so this was a natural starting point for the project.) And then, after it grows to a monstrous size and goes out of control, Gerald has to lock it away in an unused sector of the ARK. He needs to keep the poor thing alive for his research into harnessing Chaos Energy, building life support systems directly into it, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Maria what happened. So it just becomes this first dark secret weighing on his conscience. The Biolizard becomes Gerald's Tell-Tale Heart beating beneath the floorboards of the ARK. I love that.

3) Lost Impact was the breaking point for the ARK

Remember the level Lost Impact in Shadow '05? The flashback level on the hero path where Shadow is running around fighting Artificial Chaos enemies on the ARK 50 years ago? Yeah, that wasn't just a random incident. That was important, as we now know due to its placement on the timeline.

See, Emerl's rampage aboard the ARK that was chronicled in Sonic Battle and Dark Beginnings set off a domino effect. Emerl riled up the Artificial Chaos, causing Gerald to lose control of them. They became violent, and so Shadow had to stop them, as depicted in Lost Impact. The thing is, that incident sent an SOS signal to GUN telling them that shit was going down on the ARK. Gerald didsn't fully understand the trouble he was in and assumed that he'd simply be reprimanded by the higher ups, or maybe face legal action. But, well... the next time he heard from GUN, armed troopers were raiding the ARK.

So Lost Impact was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just really like that detail.

4) Maria

And, of course, there's Maria herself. Maria has often been more of a symbol than a character, this perfect embodiment of everything that's good and pure in this world who gets killed to motivate Shadow and Gerald's revenge plots. But I really like the wrinkles this journal adds to her and Gerald's story, and their relationship. This is the most fleshed out they've ever felt.

For one, the journal leans into the idea of Maria's intellectual potential. The rest of the Robotnik family is all geniuses, after all, and she was proving to be a really bright kid. She excelled in her studies on the ARK, and she even helped design Shadow's jet skates and inhibitor rings. When Maria died, the world didn't just lose a symbolic personification of purity. She genuinely could have been a hugely influential scientist who did so much good for the world. That's what Gerald wanted for her. But we'll never know, because GUN killed her.

Speaking of her family, their presence isn't just mentioned for the sake of fleshing out the Robotnik family tree. It's mentioned that as Gerald struggled to find a cure for Maria's illness through his genetic research, he faced mounting pressure from his family. They didn't want Maria to be up on the ARK forever. They wanted Gerald to hurry up and find a damn cure, or otherwise just send her back home to Earth so she could be with her family again. She'd been up on the ARK for so long that Gerald's coworkers started thinking that she had been born up there. Eventually she gains a baby sister on Earth who she's never met. A rift forms between Gerald's two sons, and he's unable to really deal with it because he's so consumed by his work. There's this sense that the family is falling apart, and that everyone is dreading the possibility that Gerald will never find a cure and that Maria will just spend her final years up in space and die far away from her family, because Gerald just couldn't let go. If that happens, it'll break the whole family. But he can't stop now. So he just keeps working. Curing Maria is the only way to win his family back, in his eyes. It can't all be for nothing.

But my favorite detail regarding Maria is this one paragraph:

Maria is growing into a lovely young woman. It breaks my heart that someone as bright and energetic as her is diminished by disease. There are no visible effects, and I've caught my fellow researchers muttering to each other, doubting her illness. It is infuriating. I find all my reason and restraint vanishes when she's slighted.

This is SUCH a great addition to the story! It's always been true that Maria doesn't really seem all that ill, just looking at her in cutscenes. With this one little comment, Ian flips that issue on its head and turns it into a story about invisible disability. She doesn't act like she's in chronic pain, so she must not be, everyone thinks. And this really, really gets to Gerald, as does the pressure from his family. He's dedicating his whole LIFE to saving her, and they think she's faking it?! It's such a small addition, never referenced elsewhere in the journal, but it adds so much flavor to the story, as does the implied family drama. It grounds Gerald and Maria and makes them feel more like real human beings, rather than being pure archetypes. It's just enough info to let my imagination run wild filling in the blanks.

You also get the feeling that Maria being such a walking ray of sunshine was the only real source of joy Gerald had left in his life before Shadow was awakened, and the only thing keeping him from snapping under pressure sooner. All this stuff just keeps piling on, everything's spiraling out of control, but at least Maria is keeping her chin up, right? It makes so much sense that losing her would make him go off the deep end when it's framed like this.

It's just... man, I never thought I'd care so much about Gerald and Maria. But that's the Ian Flynn touch. After years of less than stellar Sonic writing that seemed to be embarrassed of itself, I'm so happy to have new games coming out that fully embrace the history of the series like this, making its world feel so rich and real instead of just serving as an excuse for a string of platforming levels. I don't even like Shadow '05, but I'll be damned if Ian and the rest of Sonic Team didn't make something amazing by "yes, and"-ing Shadow's cringe past here. Sonic has truly reached levels of "we're so back" never thought possible.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am not EVERY autistic person so this probably won't be a total coverage approach, but here's what I have learned:

People like to feel that you pay attention to and remember little but important things about them. And when someone is "small-talking" with you, it is often because they either want to offer you some of that info about themselves, or they want to pearn it about you so they can "return the effort". I think of it a bit like call and response with my cats! They don't understand me, and I don't understand them, but when I walk into the kitchen each morning, Lup runs towards me excitedly making her tiny little squeaks and trills. That's kitty small-talk! Many words of all varieties just say "I love you! I missed you! I'm happy to be here with you today!"

So I answer her! Sometimes I mimic her little sounds, and other times I pretend we're gossiping like church ladies (*gasp* NO, you're KIDDING, he said THAT?? What a scandal!") But whichever I do Lup gets excited and continues her little "conversation" with me.

People are harder. I had to really take time and practice different ways of responding before I found appropriate "call and response" for small talk, but I found that there are genuinely more options than you'd think. And the same thing happened! As I learned how to "call and respond" to small talk, I found that people would excitedly approach me to have it, and gradually we got to know each other enough that the "calls" coming from both sides got less general, more tailored to our personal preferences and interests, and I didn't have to small talk as much (but when I did it wasn't as scary either)

This isn't just my personal theory either! A fair amount of research in interpersonal/social in-group dynamics suggests that "bids for attention" like small talk function in this way of call-and-response intimacy/connection building. I have found that a LOT of social etiquette gets less scary to navigate when I at least understand the function of it. It also gave me some understsnding of why people might be hurt when I visibly don't WANT to "respond" to a "call" they've made: I'm the same way about my "calls" I just use different ones! The way I feel when I ask someone "would you want to hang out with me in the kitchen while I make lunch?" (Sad, a little anxious or vulnerable, maybe hurt if they've said no to a LOT of recent calls, etc) is the same way others feel when I decline theirs! That doesn't change if it was MISSED rather than DECLINED, but it can be repaired! Ao another thing I've taken to doing is naming for people the calls I have learned I'm most likely to miss. I know I have a hard time understanding/recognizing small talk as a call to attention, so I let people know that! And generally the people I connect best with are the ones who notice I missed a call and offer me an explicit/direct opportunity to reject it before internalizing what I've done as a rejection. This isn't really an option for everyone! And while I'm always delighted when someone is compatible with me in that way, I don't get upset if they're not, and work to not take it personally as something I'm doing wrong either.

Anyway, this got rambly at the end there, but the point is, most social interactions have a FUNCTION and while being autistic frequently means that we struggle to learn and interact in these systems as they currently exist, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't also depend on those functions. I think it can be easy to forget that part of the "disabling" effects of social/communication symptoms in autism is how it cuts us off from systems of support, care, and human interconectedness (things we still NEED) and it can matter to our quality of life to be able to find compatible alternatives to fulfilling those functions even if the original mechanism (small talk in this case) doesn't suit us.

Being bad at small talk doesn't mean you don't need friends, but it will probably make it very hard to MAKE friends. And we each and all deserve to decide for ourselves what to do about that.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[natalchartnurtures]

•Pick-A-Meme• How Do Your Friends View You?

1-2-3 >>

Cue the intro to F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Pile 1:

Spirit message to open your reading – "a bundle of joy." Aw, haha, I get a really warm, expansive energy radiating from you. It's quite beautiful as I sit in it right now. It’s as if I’m basking in soft sunshine on a Sunday morning—so light, so golden. This is exactly how your friends view you. You’re a ray of soft sunshine, pile 1. Believe it or not, you are the embodiment of joy and kindness to the people around you. Your presence is deeply felt and appreciated, especially in the world we live in rn.

Your friends may think you’re incredibly lucky? Maybe you’re the lucky charm of your friend group? Or maybe it’s just that you bring a lot of fun wherever you go. You give me fairy vibes tbh. You remind me of Tinker Bell sprinkling her pixie dust wherever she goes (you don’t have to be a ‘she’ to take that message, btw) and lifting people’s frequency without even trying to. This could happen on subconscious levels as well, so your friends might not know how to put a finger on how you make them feel. They might just describe you as a lovely person to be around.

Ooh, I’m getting that even though you might like to keep your circle small, you may have a lot of people around you generally. It might just be that you make a lot of people feel like they want to get into your close circle but can’t. You probably don’t even realize it, lol. To you, you’re just living a normal life and being your fairy-ass self—cute, kind, generous, wonderful, authentic, divine, and casually powerful (lol). Let me tell you, IT HAS A PROFOUND IMPACT on everybody you know and interact with, not just your friends. You impact strangers, acquaintances, potential romantic suitors (which you have a TON of, I hear—not sure if you know this).

Your presence is felt, pile 1. I don’t care if you’re a wallflower or a theater kid. You. Are. The IT GIRL/BOY/PERSON of the room, and that’s it. You may be blissfully unaware of it (and that’s a sign that your aura is heavily protected, which is a good thing, so dw).

MOVING ON—your friends view you as a go-getter. They see you as incredibly creative and capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to. You give BALANCE, in every sense of the word. You are equally feminine, loving, nurturing, and caring as you are protective, fierce, and masculine. This quality of yours is so bloody admired. You are the textbook example of integrity, pile 1. Wow. I’m in awe of your energy. Keep it up, sweets—you must’ve done some really intense inner healing to get to such a beautiful internal place.

Now, things take a very interesting turn. I see that a lot of the people you know but aren’t especially close with may be interested in you romantically but don’t come forth with their intentions. They prefer to simply stay in the "friend" zone (maybe ‘cause they feel unworthy of stepping towards you? Idk). These people seem to be in their distorted masculine energy, and you seem to trigger the ever-loving crap outta them, lmao. It’s just your beautiful light that automatically does it for you, yk.

People you know (but aren’t close with) could secretly be jealous of you. In their eyes, you’re living the dream life—whatever that means for them. But just know that you’re heavily protected at this time, yea? Any kind of energy that could potentially harm you will be dealt with by Spirit. Spirit wants only the best for you, and your energy demands nothing but the very best. So if you feel rejected, lonely, or like not a lot is happening in your life, it’s because of this. Take rejection as a positive sign that you’re divinely protected :)

So, that’s how your friends view you! Hope you enjoyed this read—I can’t wait to see you on my next one :] Have a nice rest of your day, sweet pea! And stay your divine, amazing-ass self, tehe ✨️

If you'd like to know more about how your friends view you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 2:

Opening energies for the pile – I heard the song "Reincarnated" by Kendrick Lamar as I tapped into how your friends view you. Pile 2, I must say... your friends view you as a badass person. Hardcore, intense, low tolerance for BS, and possibly having old-soul energy is how your friends see you. They love your sarcasm, your witty humor and the light energy you bring to everything you do.

Also... I’m ngl, your friends think you’re a bit like Kendrick Lamar himself, haha. They might think you’re really talented at something and potentially have star quality, too. Do you have any major Leo energy in your chart, maybe? ‘Cause you sure come off that way to your friends, and they LOVE this leaning vibe about you. You seem so open, generous, and childlike with your friends but intense to people who aren’t, haha lmao. You may have an RBF that scares some people away 😂 (but enjoy that, maybe?). You’re hilarious.

Side note: If you’ve ever considered doing stand-up comedy, I see you being super successful at it 😁👀

Do you like Kendrick Lamar, pile 2? ‘Cause that song I channeled is playing in my ears LOUD and clear as I’m reading for you, haha.

Your friends might view you as somebody with a complex but deeply satisfying and rich inner world. You may love being by yourself as much as you love goofing off with your friends. They find this very interesting about you, tbh. They see you as somebody that’s “detached but VERY cool.”

You come across as the cool boy/girl/person in the room. You have an energy that stands out, and the best part is you don’t even care, haha. You’re just living in your own mind and checked out from the world unless there’s something worthwhile that catches your attention irl. Haha, that’s so iconic.

Ooh... your friends may view you as very attractive, too, ‘cause I just saw Christina Aguilera from her Dirrty MV, and boy, does she EAT in that ICONIC VIDEO. That MV is how I can summarize your energy and how it’s viewed by your friends, pile 2. It’s quite powerful (in a nonchalant typa way), too, I’m ngl. Like, idc about you but HAVE LOADS OF MONEY simply ‘cause you didn’t give a fuck, lmao.

You might be deeply spiritual, and to your friends, it comes as a very mysterious part of you. They don’t fully understand it, but on some level, they acknowledge that it’s a BIG part of who you are and respect it for what it is.

They view you as highly individualistic. As someone who’s gonna do what they wanna do and still land on their feet every time. They view you as “this person will be fine no matter what happens,” ‘cause I feel this raw strength emanating from you, which your friends easily pick up on. It’s something they love about you, too, yk.

Your friends view you as somebody who finds it hard to let their guard down. They see you as someone who’s come from a difficult life/upbringing, and they understand that you need your space from time to time. You seem to have very mature and protective friends, pile 2! Good for you, haha.

They view you as somebody who is content and fulfilled in their life despite any past challenges. They admire everything you’ve accomplished despite these challenges. And if you’ve been through a transformation recently, they really see this shift inside you, and they’re really happy about it 😊👀

They might feel as if you still struggle with some things related to your past, though, but on some level, they expect to see a breakthrough in your energy soon. They know for a fact you’ll get over anything ‘cause, according to them, you eat challenges for breakfast 😂 Haha, love that.

So, that’s how your friends view you! Hope you enjoyed this read—I can’t wait to see you on my next one :] Have a nice rest of your day, sweet pea! And stay your divine, badass self, tehe ✨

If you'd like to know more about how your friends view you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 3:

Spirit messages to open your reading – "inspiring and very healing to be." You give papa bear energy, pile 3 (regardless of your gender). You have this sweet and tender vibe towards your friends, and that’s how they see you. Somebody with a precious heart and an even more precious mind—always buzzing and alive with thoughts.

Your friends might reeeeally love chatting with you. You give me therapist vibes, tbh. Talking to you is sooooo soothing. But I think what your friends don’t understand is that while you give great advice and are fun to talk to, you might not always be in a good place mentally. I feel like your friends assume that you’re fine on the inside when you’re not? Maybe they have a false impression of you? Hm. Interesting. This might be ‘cause you simply keep your mental health struggles to yourself.

You don’t want your friends to bear what you think is your burden to bear. You don’t wanna bleed on everybody else, so to speak, and this has your friends viewing you as a light ✨. You give me strong Chiron vibes, tbh—the wounded healer in every sense of the word. You have quiet compassion towards people in general, and that’s really appreciated, but not necessarily always seen. If that’s the case with you, I’m so sorry, pile 3. You deserve to be CELEBRATED for your heart and deserve friends that truly appreciate you!

Your friends view you as a bit of a mom figure in their lives. Maybe you take on a lot of responsibility, so they see you that way. You are viewed as a safe space where anybody can be themselves without feeling judged. This is that therapist energy I was picking up from your vibe earlier. You might have some very emotionally disconnected (and potentially immature) friends in your life, pile 3. Hm.

Interestingly, your friends also see you as somebody who's not a pushover, though. You know how to burn a bridge when it's time, and this is something about you that's respected. They could describe you as someone who's a nice person but not a doormat. You know how to move on and get that REVENGE if you're pushed to your limits—and you'd do it with such ease that the people you've left behind might be baffled by it.

I'm also getting that you might've gone through a heartbreak recently? If so, I'm sending you loads of love, sweet pea. Hope you heal well from this. I see that beyond this heartbreak is a fresh new start for you, leading you straight into a joyous outcome. Like, say you broke up with your significant other—I see you meeting new people by the end of your healing period, potentially even your next suitor! (Apply this to whatever situation you're in, though.)

But yeah, to sum it up, your friends view you as a wonderful friend, confidant, and just... a healing presence.

So that's how your friends view you, pile 3. Hope you got something helpful out of this read—I can't wait to see you on my next one :]

Have a nice rest of your day, sweet pea! And stay your divine Chiron-ass self, tehe ✨

If you'd like to know more about how your friends view you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

[arc-misadventures]

Jaune being his normal kind, helpful lovable self causes women like Illia, Terra, and others to fall for him

LAJA

Coco: And, welcome everyone to the first meeting of the, LAJA. Lesbians Against Jaune Arc. My name is, Coco Adel, club chairwoman, and founder.

Coco: Now, since this is out first meeting we will each introduce ourselves, and tell everyone why you decided to become a member of the, LAJA. I'll go first...

Coco: I am a loud, and proud lesbian, I saw some guys, and I thought they were attractive, from as aesthetic perspective not anything romantic, or sexual. But, one day, I was trying on an outfit with my BunBun...

Ilia: Hold up! Your 'BunBun?'

Coco: Oh yeah, that's a nickname for my teammate, Velvet. She's a rabbit faunas.

Ilia: Ohh!

Terra: I like that.

Coco: Velvet isn't that good at fashion, but Jaune was there, he saw my outfit, and said no. Gave me some other clothes, and told me top try it on... and son of a bitch that was the greatest outfit I've ever worn!

Coco: After that, the two of us would go out, and do some fashion shows with each other, and some other people who needed a new wardrobe. It is fun, really fun hanging out with him. So, one day when we're having fun this random woman came up, and ask if, Jaune was single. And, Jaune was single... but, I said he wasn't... that I was his girlfriend...

Coco: I'm a hardcore lesbian! I never thought of dating a guy in my entire life! But, to keep some random floozie from, Jaune I said I was his girlfriend... I don't want to lose my fashion friend, my best male friend. And, I'm sad that I'm not... And, I really... I really want to be his girlfriend... So... yeah...

Terra: You fell because of his fashion sense? Makes sense, Jaune has superb taste in woman's fashion.

Coco: He did, I was looking at a wedding dress one day, and who is at the alter, Jaune freaking Arc...

Yang: Oh you got it bad!

Coco: Okay... You're turn.

Ilia: Okay... Hello everyone, my name is Ilia Amitola, I am a chameleon faunas, I can changed the colour of my skin. So, I was a former member of the, White Fang, I was a lesbian since I was in the, White Fang, and I hated humans on top of that. Then this stupid blond human just shows up, he flashes me that pearly smile of his. And, my body just changed to pink!

Coco: Like it did just now?

Ilia: Yes?! I just looked at him, and I thought how much I wanted to sleep with this guy! A guy, a human guy at that! It's just a crush, there's nothing more about it! So, I decided to learn things about him, I'd learn that one thing to make him the worst person I could possibly imagine!

Ilia: And, what I learned is that he is one of the nicest, sweetest guys I've ever met! He doesn't hate the faunas! He supports the, White Fang! To a point! He doesn't like the more radical side...

Yang: No one does.

Ilia: But, all I learned how a sweet caring a person he is! Then I saw him watch over some faunas kid one day, and the next thing I know, I'm thinking about having kids with him! This it total bullshit!

Coco: She's still blushing.

Emerald: It is a nice shade of pink.

Terra: Well... speaking of babies... My name is, Terra Cotta Arc...

Coco: Arc? Are you related to, Jaune?

Terra: In a way, I am married to a woman called, Saphron Cotta Arc. She is, Jaune's older sister, making, Jaune my brother-in-law. And, for a while I thought I was asexual, I was never interested in anyone. But, then I met my wife, and well eventually I married her. And, I'm happily married! But, then I met, Jaune, and if I met him before I met my wife, we probably would be married with three kids by now. Right now we only have the one though.

Coco: T-The one...?

Terra: I wanted a kid, so I asked, Jaune to... donate so I could have one. And, this is my son, Adrian~!

Yang: Oh gods he is so adorable~!

Ilia: Noooo... Don't do this to me, I've been trying to get rid of the baby craze!

Terra: And, well... I want another... maybe two... N-Next...!

Yang: Okay... glad I'm not the only one... Ahem! Hi! My name is, Yang Xiao Long, and I'm not really a lesbian, I always thought I was more of a bisexual. I always thought, woman, and men were attractive. And, when I came here to, Beacon the lesbian drive kicked into overdrive! I mean come on! There are so many hot woman here!

Coco: It's a buffet here!

Yang: And, my teammate is, Blake Belladonna! How many people didn't get a aroused , and want to smash that phat ass!

Ilia: Preach sister!

Yang: But then, Jaune Arc came around, and started acting like a big brother figure to my little sister! He looked after her, he comforted her when she was sad, he made her cookies! That was my job! But, all of a sudden big bro came in and stole my job! And, that's were all hell let loose!

Yang: So, I confronted him one day to leave her alone, to stop being her 'big brother,' that it was my job to do those things, because I am her big sister. But, he told me not to worry, since I was her big sister, and i would always be her big sister. So, he told me not to worry 'little sister.' He calmed me, 'little sister' rubbed the top of my head, and left. And, I swear to gods... I came when he patted my head!

Coco: Seriously?!

Terra: I'd buy that.

Yang: I don't like people touching my hair, but he just patted once, and he sent me so over the edge that, that's what happened?! I want, no need him to do it again!

Yang: I want my big brother to hold me in his arms, to comfort me when I'm sad, to run his fingers through my hair to calm me. And, above all I want him to spank my ass as he calls me his bitch, while I scream big bro as he takes me from behind! I used to imagine doing that to, Blake, and her phat ass! Now, I want, Jaune to be doing that to me!

Coco: (Whistles~!) You got it bad girl.

Terra: Really bad... Now tell us how you want him to do this, I need to know.

Yang: You're turn, Emerald.

Emerald: Okay... My name is Emerald Sustari. I am a lesbian, least I was... honestly I think I'm not that much of a lesbian, I was interested in my team leader. Her name is, Cinder Fall. She took me in, when no one else would, so I kinda fell for her from an emotional stand point. But, Cinder never saw me from that angle... she's more focused on how she can use me for her own gains. This often made me cry, that she didn't care about me... Then one day, Jaune found me when I was crying, and we just started talking. He became a shoulder I could cry on, someone I could go to for support, or just someone I could be around when I needed something.

Emerald: Then... then his mother came by, and he introduced me to her... And, I understood why, Jaune was such a nice, and caring person. And, I asked, Jaune's mom. Juniper if she would adopt me, so I could finally have the mother figure I always wanted.

Yang: What did she say?

Emerald: She said no.

Terra: What?! But, Juniper is such a lovely woman, why did she say no?

Emerald: Because she knows how much I love, Jaune, and that if I married him she would still become my mom. So, I get the best of both worlds. A mom, and the man I love...

Terra: Oh...

Yang: Now that's a good deal right there...

Coco: Alright... now that everyone has been introduced, we shall now begin the first meeting with the, LAJA. Does anyone have an items they wish to bring to the table.

Ilia: Yeah, I have one... We're calling ourselves the, Lesbians Against, Jaune Arc. But, how are we against, Jaune? I mean... we all want to sleep with the guy... that doesn't sound so 'against' now does it?

Coco: Uhh... cause I thought everyone would be upset, Jaune turned us straight. So, we would be against him, because of that.

Ilia: That makes sense, but in reality... we want to fuck him...

Yang: Yeah, we all want to sleep with the guy to one degree, or the other.

Terra: So how are we against the guy?

Coco: It sounded nice...?

Emerald: I vote we rename ourselves to the, Lesbians Attracted to, Jaune Arc! Where are new mandate is to help each other sleep with, Jaune to some degree. All those in favour say aye.

Ilia: Aye!

Yang: Hell to the aye!

Terra: Aye~!

Coco: Aye!

Coco: Okay, in that case I welcome you to the first meeting of the, LAJA. Lesbians Attracted to, Jaune Arc. First order of business: Who gets to fuck, Jaune first.

Yang: I move, Terra goes last, she's already slept with him, and had his child.

Terra: What?!

Ilia: I agree.

Emerald: Agree.

Coco: The ayes have it; Terra only gets to sleep with, Jaune after the rest of us do.

Terra: ...

Terra: Okay, that's fair...

[atzloverr]

Our unsaid truths - chapter 2

previous chapter - next chapter

series masterlist

pairings: poly!ateez x reader, atz x atz

cw: polyamory, teasing, mentions of sex, jealousy, use of Y/n, reader is flustered lol, that’s like it, I know this is really short but I promise next chapter will have more!!!!

The sun had just begun to peek through the curtains when you started to stir awake. An unknown but comfortable warmth surrounded you, and it took a few seconds for your sleep-fogged mind to register why you felt so… crowded.

Wooyoung’s arm was slung lazily over your stomach, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, while Seonghwa’s leg was tangled with yours, his deep and even breathing tickling your shoulder. You stared up at the ceiling, your heart beating faster than it should for someone who had just woken up.

The events of last night hit you like a truck.

“Oh my god…” you whispered under your breath. You tried shifting slightly, but Wooyoung pulled you closer to him, groaning softly in his sleep. Your cheeks burned as you realized the position you were currently in: pinned in between the two.

“Morning, beautiful.”

Seonghwa’s voice was smooth, carrying a teasing lilt as he looked up at you with half-lidded eyes. His hair was disheveled, and the smirk on his face made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Before you could respond, a soft yawn escaped Wooyoung, his body stretching slightly against yours. You averted your attention towards him. He looked up at you and grinned. “Morning, gorgeous.” His voice was husky from sleep.

“Um… good morning,” you stammered with a small smile, feeling heat creep up your neck.

It was surreal, waking up sandwiched between two men who now seemed equally interested in you. As the moment stretched on, you started to wonder what this would mean for your relationship with not just Seonghwa and Wooyoung, but with the rest of the boys as well. You bit your lip anxiously at the thought.

The worst thing you could imagine was ruining something that was so perfect between them, so perfect between you and Seonghwa.

”Whatcha thinking about sweetie?” you heard Seonghwa ask, snapping you out of your dazed state of deep thought. You simply shook your head. ”Nothing special.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung exchanged looks, was your lie too obvious? ”Whatever, I’m hungry,” Wooyoung said before groaning loudly, finally letting you go to stretch out his entire body.

”Will you let me borrow your clothes, hyung?” Wooyoung said, trying his best to use his puppy eyes, a large pout on his lips.

Seonghwa sighed but eventually gave in with a tired ’sure’. You figured he probably didn’t want Wooyoung to walk out completely naked. The thought made you pause.

Would the others know what went down last night? You knew the walls weren’t exactly thick, but would you have to walk out to being humiliated this morning? You decided to speak your mind, worry brimming within you.

”Do you think they’ll know? I mean, not that there would be anything wrong with that, but—” you stammered nervously. ”Hmm, maybe,” Wooyoung giggled, getting dressed in one of Seonghwa’s sweatpants.

”I don’t know baby, but I’m sure they won’t mind if they do know,” Seonghwa reassured. You sighed in relief at those words. It was sometimes as if Seonghwa knew exactly what you needed to hear and when.

You quickly threw on one of Seonghwa’s shirts, not bothering to put on pants, before the three of you started to make your way to the dining area. As you heard the sound of voices from the kitchen, you felt nervousness starting to creep up on you. Seonghwa’s comforting hand on the small of your back sure helped though.

As you entered the kitchen, you were greeted by the sight of Hongjoong and Yeosang cooking something by the stove, as well as some of the other guys spread out around the room.

“Well, well, good morning, Y/n,” Hongjoong greeted, his lips curving into a smirk. Yeosang gave you a knowing look, one brow raised as if he already had several jokes lined up.

“Morning,” you said, trying to sound natural, avoiding their gazes, pulling down the shirt to somewhat cover yourself.

“I see someone’s had an eventful night,” Yeosang said lightly, eyes focused on the food he was cooking. His words made you freeze, heat rising to your cheeks.

Before you could reply, Wooyoung’s voice chimed in from where he was standing by the fridge, getting some yogurt. “Why do you sound so jealous, Yeosang?” He said with a smug grin plastered across his face.

“Jealous? Of what, you being the loudest person in the building?” Yeosang shot back. You swallowed, feeling the embarrassment inside you grow for every word and glance the two exchanged.

“Loud?” Mingi suddenly piped up from the table. You turned your head to see his face filled with faux innocence. “Oh, they were definitely loud.”

You groaned and sank into the nearest chair, burying your face in your hands. “Can we change the subject?” you pleaded.

“Aw, don’t be shy,” Wooyoung teased, sliding into the seat next to you with his yogurt in hand. “I think we made a great team last night.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat aggressively made everyone pause. Seonghwa stood up, his expression calm but his voice sharp. “Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung cowered slightly, glancing at him sheepishly. “What? I’m just saying—”

“Don’t make her uncomfortable.”

Seonghwa’s tone left no room for argument, and Wooyoung held up his hands in surrender, though the playful glint in his eyes remained.

“Sooo, Y/n,” Jongho said casually, trying to break the awkward silence that had come to be. “Are you planning to make your rounds with the rest of us, or are you sticking with these two?”

You choked on your own breath, flabbergasted by his question. You felt your cheeks burning hotter for each second that passed. “Jongho!”

“What? It’s a valid question,” he said with a shrug. You heard Yeosang giggle at the man’s words.

“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, sinking further into your chair.

Yunho entered the room then, his hair messy from sleep and eyes still not completely open. “What’s unbelievable?” he asked, walking up to Mingi who had already prepared a cup of coffee for him.

“Y/n’s, well… expanding her social circle,” Mingi quipped, earning a chorus of laughter from almost everyone.

Yunho glanced between you, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung, piecing the situation together almost immediately.

His expression softened as he set his mug down and came to stand beside you, gently patting your head. “Don’t let them tease you too much,” he said kindly.

You gave him a grateful smile, only for him to add with a wink, “You’ll need your energy for the rest of us anyway.”

The room erupted into laughter, and you groaned. “I swear,” you glanced at the amused faces around you, “you’re all going to drive me insane.”

As breakfast continued and everyone eventually sat down by the table, you felt as if something was slightly off, or rather, someone.

You looked over to San, who silently ate his breakfast, and a thought struck you. He hadn’t uttered a single word this entire morning, which was very unlike him. He would always cling to someone, that someone usually being Wooyoung or Yeosang, but today, he seemed distant.

While the teasing had dialed down, Yeosang and Jongho still left some remarks about how much they heard and how they couldn’t sleep, but every time when the table erupted into laughter, you saw San sitting there, not even cracking a smile.

You were seated in between Seonghwa and Yunho, at the same spot you would usually sit at, and Yunho seemed to notice that you were deep in thought about something. ”What’s up?” he silently asked, making you blink when you returned to reality. ”Huh?”

Yunho giggled at your confusion, before a comforting smile coated his lips. ”What are you thinking about?” he asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You looked around, and everyone was still caught up in their own conversations. ”Is San alright?” you almost whispered. You made it look casual though, not wanting someone to ask what you guys were talking about.

”Oh, so you noticed too huh?” Yunho smiled, pulling his hand through his hair. ”Hmm, I think he might be a little jealous, that’s all,” Yunho said quietly, still smiling widely.

”Jealous?” you echoed, starting to feel worried all over again. ”Don’t worry, Y/n. He gets like that sometimes, and you haven’t done anything wrong,” Yunho comforted, his hand rubbing circles into your shoulder. You took a deep breath while nodding, hoping that Yunho’s words were true.

”Who’s on dish-duty?” Hongjoong asked, grabbing everyones attention. You silently volunteered, but was immediately shot down by everyone else saying that you shouldn’t. ”You had a rough night, don’t you think you should rest?” Jongho said with a wink, making you roll your eyes before finally leaving the kitchen, still feeling flustered by the events.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A few hours later you found yourself outside of their house, Seonghwa’s arms wrapped tightly around you. Seonghwa always got pouty when you were going back to your place. He wished you could always stay with them, but he also understood that you might want some alone time, where you’re not constantly the ”ninth wheel.”

He never wanted you to feel that way, and although you assured him that you didn’t, he still noticed that you still hesitated before staying at their house, even though he tried to assure you that you weren’t a burden.

”Hey, how are you feeling about all of this? With Wooyoung and everything? I feel like we haven’t gotten a chance to talk it through,” Seonghwa said, his hand rubbing your shoulders. You sighed heavily.

”I don’t know… I don’t want to complicate things for you guys, you know? I don’t know what they all expect from me now and—” Seonghwa noticed the shift in your emotions, and it made his heart ache.

”Shh, baby,” he brushed your hair away from your face, looking deep into your eyes. ”Take your time. There’s no rush into anything that you might not be ready for,” he reassured, placing a small kiss on your cheek. ”Just do what feels right.”

You nodded, feeling at ease from his comforting words. You placed a hand on his shoulder before kissing his lips. He pushed deeply into you, not wanting the moment to end. ”Call me anytime,” he reminded, watching you pick up your bags to leave.

”You’re leaving!?” the intimate moment was suddenly cut off by Wooyoung’s voice as he came scrambling out the door. You raised your eyebrows with a smile at his panicked expression.

”It’s not like I live here, I’m just going to my apartment, that’s all,” you laughed as Wooyoung wrapped you in a hug as if you were never going to see him again. ”You’ll come back right?” he asked, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

You ruffled his hair with your hand, finding his face adorably funny. ”Pf course I will.”

You were about to take off when Wooyoung opened his mouth again. ”A—And Y/n?” you looked back. ”Can I kiss you too?”

Your eyes widened slightly at the question, as you immediately looked at Seonghwa. The reaffirming smile on his face told you everything you needed to know. ”Yes.”

And with that Wooyoung rushed towards you to give you a short but sweet kiss on the lips, before you finally made your way to your car.

On the way home, you thought about everything that had happened. It felt so surreal, to now receive the same kind of affection that your only used to from Seonghwa, from Wooyoung too.


Maybe you had liked him this whole time, but you were just too scared to make a first move. Maybe you had liked them all this whole time, you couldn’t tell. But once you parked your car in your driveway, you had made one thing clear for yourself. You were more than happy to expand this relationship, however far it would eventually do so.

next chapter

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you’re excited for a brand new series!!! Love you guys💕

taglist: @wooyoungsbrat @dawn-iscozy @fairy-jojo

those who requested a part 2: @nightcat101 @oreoqueen @the-belching-toe @stolasisyourparent @freyaphoria

tell me if you want to join the taglist!!!💕 part 3 is already written and will be posted very soon!

masterlist

[madschiavelique]

A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 13 - Five of Swords

summary : your first day spent in Demacia doesn't bring out the best of you.

content warnings : angst. like pull out the tissues angst. no comfort. also some flirting shit? oh and tension. a good meal overall i hope

word count : 8,2k

author's note : okay so i'm trying to survive classes and i tried writing this baby during the week while on the metro. it's quite a pain in the heart but hey dw it'll get better i promise.

NOT proofread for now

masterlist．．discord ．．playlist．．my ko-fi

The short journey to your place of residence prepared for the students had been deeply unbearable.

Demacians seemed to have a majority of water-related transport. You weren't really surprised, given that Demacia was known for its beaches and its inextricable links with the water that surrounded it for trade and tourism.

However, after that rather short night in a bed that wasn't very pleasant, you would have liked to have had a moment to settle down and enjoy a brief trip in a transport to observe the landscapes.

But walking was unavoidable. A horde of suitcase rollers were catching up on the white flagstones of the streets of the great city of Demacia. 

It was almost impossible to imagine the city as anything other than sunny. Its great white walls seemed incorruptibly pure, the sun bathing the sides of the citadel in resplendent light, while its blue slate domes gleamed in the sunlight like fish scales. 

You expected the city to have a cold atmosphere, an overly wise and tense staticity brought about by the strictness for which it was famous. But the markets were full of colour, crates full of exotic goods with colour combinations you only thought possible on paintings, rich fabrics and tourist attractions of all kinds bundling up in certain streets.

It was a city that combined the marine fluidity of its airs and waters with the formidable stability of its rocks and swords. It was almost impossible not to find a guard at every turn, to the point where it was almost more oppressive than reassuring. The sight of so many passers-by crossing the streets and their safety, however, softened the sensation.

And although you couldn't wait to take a shower and relax, the desire to wander the streets of this new place grew with every step you took. What a thrill it is to explore.

All this could have been superb, of course, if it hadn't been for a single factor that splashed mud all over this first immersion: Fiora.

Clinging to Viktor like a mussel to its rock, she had never stopped monopolising him and imposing her continuity. She pulled Viktor's suitcase like she was pulling a bin bag, pressing herself against him and laughing much more than necessary at every little interjection he made, often punctuating it with "What an interesting thing to say" or "Vikkie you're so funny!"

Vikkie, the nickname made your skin crawl with embarrassment. But what probably bothered you most was the fact that Viktor didn't do anything in particular to stop it. Was he just being polite? Or did he genuinely enjoy her company?

"Yes, she's always like that," Garen finally added with a sigh, his eyes visibly attentive to where yours were resting.

You sighed. "How long have you been handling her?"

He chuckled. "I think we're about to hit the second year in a row of a dreadfully thorny situation."

"Two years," you huffed, imagining what it would have been like if you and Viktor had carried on with that litter of stupid nemeses for so long.

"Yes ma'am," Garen nodded, himself seeming slightly surprised by this realisation.

"And has it always been like this?" 

"It gets worse when new things arrive and she wants said new things," he informed. "She needs to have her hands on the new, shiny toy."

"Is she a princess?" you questioned.

"Akin," Garen's gaze rested tiredly on Fiora's figure, raising his eyebrows, "she is the heir to one of the biggest families of Demacia."

"Damn," you whispered. "And she bites, I take it?"

"She is a fierce duellist, best one around here," grimaced Garen. "I wouldn't advise making any waves or tormenting her, she has a tendency to start useless gossip behind your back."

You nodded, taking in the information Garen had so graciously given you. "Crowns have strange effects on the heads they adorn."

He nodded, obviously finding your words accurate.

It didn't take you long to arrive at a building of at least six storeys, seemingly the same length as the point separating Zaun from Piltover and as wide as the length of The Young Prince. 

What had struck you so far was the geometry of the city. All the architecture of its streets was millimetre-perfect, everything mirroring each other almost impossibly perfectly like a surface on clear water. Arches of white stone criss-crossed in the air, no pillar was odd, and even the clothes of the residents were surgically symmetrical. It was almost disconcerting.

"The Hôtel Félixérie has graciously approved your accommodation as part of your stay," informed Madame Diane, turning to the group of students. "We'll leave you to drop off your belongings and take a moment to relax and get to know your room-mates a little better."

You'd imagined that the dormitories would be paired up again, and you'd probably expected the Piltover students to be with each other once more. However, Diane interrupted this train of thought.

"For fairly obvious reasons, the rooms will not be mixed. If your duos involve sex and gender differences, we will assign you to different rooms."

Their restrictions were totally acceptable, however, if the little gears in your brain weren't wrong, a terrible revelation took over.

You would have to share your room with Fiora.

You turned towards her, the latter already looking at you like a vermin to be eradicated, or the most useless thing this earth could have borne.

"Come forward, so we can allocate your rooms and take it into consideration."

So the group of students moved towards the teachers, your quartet staying back, Garen following to collect your room numbers. You reached Fiora, who was about your height, if perhaps a little shorter - which didn't stop her looking down on you for anything in the world.

So you watched her stature, her arm still firmly wrapped around Viktor.

You chuckled, observing the situation. "Are you going to sleep with him like he's your teddy bear? Or are you big enough to sleep without one."

Viktor turned to you, half surprised and half grateful. She arched an eyebrow at you, blowing out a laugh from her nose. "Scared of a child?"

"I'm not as spoiled of a kid as you," you replied.

"What is the ugly little thing saying?" she questioned.

"She's saying that you've got looks, and money," you remarked, "one of them is bound to run out."

She gave you a petty little smile. "Guess I'm rich in all cases. I still have twice more than you own."

"And twice more to lose," you pointed out, frowning, "and I don't lose."

She giggled, her upper lip rising in frustration. "So confident."

Your eyes looked her up and down, two thin slits under your eyebrows. "So ignorant."

"Viktor?" inquired Garen to cut short this obviously mindless discussion once he'd come back. "We're sharing the same room, do you need help with your belongings?"

The Zaunite's suitcase was still in Fiora's hand. She said nothing, ignoring you as she straightened her chin and let go of Viktor's arm as well as his luggage, exchanging a glance with Garen who seemed impassive to her attitude.

Viktor exchanged glances with you and then Garen. "No need," he confirmed politely.

"Alright," smiled Garen, turning to your little group, "we're all on the ground floor. Room 020 for Viktor and me, room 021 for you two,’ he explained as he handed you your keys, Fiora not even unlocking her arms from her chest to take the ones Garen was handing her.

"As if I was to share my room with someone like you," Fiora almost choked out.

"At least something we agree on," you breathed before pulling your suitcase towards the building.

You had only one thing on your mind: taking a shower and putting on clean clothes. Demacia had a warmer climate than Piltover, and although the sun wasn't high in the sky, the air was already hot, and your walk to the hotel didn't help the feeling.

The interior of the hotel was charming, managing to bring warmth to its ambience despite its cold bluish tones. It didn't take you long to find your room, shoving the key into the lock more hastily than you would have liked.

You pulled your suitcase onto a tiled floor with hexagonal stones alternating royal blue and creamy white, two thick beds next to each other already making you regret coming here just from the perspective of who would take the second one. You placed your suitcase on the side of the bed you'd settled on taking, removing your coat, which was already far too warm for your back and shoulders.

There was a knock at the door, and you turned to see Garen, his stature taking up almost all the light in the corridor in the silhouette of the door.

"Got the word from Madame Lolanthe," he began, "the Piltover students get a one hour break in their rooms before we come back to get you ready for the Academy visit."

"Okay," you nodded, getting rid of your scarf, "thank you for telling me."

"No problem," he smiled, leaning against the doorway, "You hold up to her well."

"Hold up to her?" you repeated, almost confused.

"That talk about the looks, and the money," he noted, "I know who's words I'll repeat whenever she gets on my nerves again."

You smiled. "One will buy you sympathy, the other will buy you the rest. Unfortunate that with her great wealth she can't buy me," you sighed, folding your scarf to lay it on the corner of your bed. "She doesn't seem to like it very much."

He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's because she's never had someone come on her territory and impose themselves so easily."

You arched an eyebrow, a small sneer tugging at the corner of your lips. "I'm imposing?"

He chuckled. "To her? She won't ever admit it, but you're terrifying."

"And to you?" you questioned, "Am I any threat to the sublime of a Demacian student like you?"

He considered you for a moment. "That remains to be seen."

You smiled at him one more time, placing your suitcase on your bed to open it. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to engage in verbal fencing with you. So far at least you've given me no reason to do so," you explained as you took out your toiletries.

"I shall do everything in my power for it to remain as such," he confirmed, placing his hand on his chest solemnly and bowing his head slightly. "I'll leave you to your rest, see you in an hour."

"See you in an hour," you repeated simply as he disappeared from the doorway. 

He reminded you of Jayce, but wiser, more chivalrous than naive, more observant than questioning.

So you finally grabbed some new clothes and headed for the second room in your bedroom, which was undoubtedly the bathroom. Were you all so stinky that the Demacians urged you to shower at all costs? It would have been funny, an unnecessary rivalry in a programme that encouraged the exact opposite.

The bathroom was an elegant composition of blue, white and pearly grey mosaics. Two wash basins carved from rough white stone stood next to each other in front of a large oval horizontal mirror. In the corner to your left was the toilet, and in the corner to your right was the ivory-white bathtub.

You were almost tempted to pick up your suitcase and put it in the bathroom with you while you showered, just to make sure that the bratty Fiora didn't come poking around in it or doing anything stupid.

After all, in your belongings was an object that could potentially get you into a lot of trouble here if it were found: your tarot deck.

Demacia's little worry in this instance was a deep-seated aversion to magic and all that surrounds it. Who wouldn't be when the history of its people was rooted in magical wars and the terror that ensued? Petricite, the material from which their protection came from the trees of their forests, was undoubtedly in abundance in the walls surrounding you. It was almost oppressive, as if the air were less breathable, more contained than ever in a box.

You stripped off your clothes and slipped under the water, which must also have been filtered specifically for petricite. It seemed almost dry, leaving an unpleasantly light sensation on your skin as you soaped yourself up almost furiously.

Your thoughts returned to your Tarot deck. You just hoped that the energies wouldn't affect it, and that you wouldn't be caught red-handed. You would have to be discreet about this activity, however naive, to avoid any lightning strikes.

You took your time to prepare yourself. You put on some simple clothes for the rest of the day, something comfortable enough to move around in and not suffer from the heat, and rearranged your suitcase, making sure you looked perfectly presentable.

You left your room after slipping your suitcase under your bed, knocking on the door of your comrade to whom you hadn't been able to speak since you set foot on Demacian soil.

"Come in," answered the familiar accent behind the door.

You turned the handle, opening the door to find Viktor sitting on one of the two beds. He seemed to be busy placing a particular mechanism on his bad leg, a strap running from his lower thigh to the sole of his shoe. He was bent over, arranging a sort of screw-on part on the side of his knee.

The system seemed to be complex, an orthopaedic support made of metal and leather for better stability, no doubt, in the same way that corsets were worn for scoliosis.

You'd never seen him wear it before.

"Is it in preparation for the walk we're about to go on?" you questioned.

He sighed heavily, rearranging a belt against his thigh and trying to smooth the creases in his trousers under the pressure. "Mademoiselle Laurent's brisk walk doesn't seem to have been very kind," he raised his amber gaze to yours, "I fear the upcoming days might be more difficult than what I expected."

You sighed, taking a step forward into the bedroom. "Yeah," you nodded, "not sure how I will handle the whole Fiora thing... At least Garen's nice so far."

His eyes moved from yours to his thigh again, tightening another bolt. "Mhm."

"You guys got cool rooms!" Jayce's voice made you turn towards him, coming from the other end of the corridor, poking his head through the doorways. "Ours is all..." he grimaced, his eyes crinkling as his upper lip lifted to the side, "green."

"Got something against the green of nature, Talis?" you remarked, arching an eyebrow.

"Absolutely not!" he snapped, raising his hands in the air to clear his throat. "It's just that ours is... ugly."

"Do you miss the gold of Piltover already?"

"A bit."

"Have the Kirammans changed you so much? Unless... has Mel got you used to luxury?"

"I-" he almost choked, but before he could pull himself together and resume his sentence, he frowned, mouth open. His eyes flicked to a point in the void before turning to Viktor, with whom he exchanged a glance. "Do you think what she thinks?"

Viktor breathed in, holding his breath for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and sighing in agreement. Jayce looked like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"Am I... a high-class hooker?"

You grinned, putting your hand on his shoulder and patting it. "I think there are worse realisations in life than this."

"True, but... how do you know for sure."

"It's not a wildly complex diagnosis," Viktor remarked as he grabbed his cane and straightened up. "First the bottles of champagne with more than one zero."

"Then the petits fours," you pointed out.

"And the new shirts piling up in the dressing room..." Viktor continued.

"Fine!" stopped Jayce. ‘Fine, I see your point,’ he straightened up, trying to puff out his chest as he pretended to deconstruct the image you'd given him, sighing in vain as he watched you with plaintive eyes, "this is so bad isn't it?"

"It's the end of the world," you grinned.

Viktor shook his head, playing disappointment. "What happened to my work partner?"

"Hey!" squeaked Jayce.

Viktor turned to you. "Did you know he leaves the apartments three nights out of four to go see Mel?"

"What?" Your mouth opened in a terrible mock shock as you put your hand to your chest comically, "that's heartbreaking."

"I know," sighed Viktor dramatically, "I end up starring at the pile of his new shirts in the corner while I kill myself on work."

"Jayce," you huffed, "how could you?"

"Stop this! You two!" begged Jayce.

You finally smiled and gave up the act. "Relax, gold suits you anyway."

"You guys are the worst," grumbled Jayce as you and Viktor exchanged playful glances.

You headed out of the hotel, meeting up with Sky who instantly came over to you.

"That Fiora's already got you in her sights," she muttered.

You sighed, looking around as if to see if she was spying on you, but if she was, she wasn't within earshot. "I know, it's like I'm attracting them all like a magnet. Let's hope it doesn't last any longer than that, otherwise this trip may quickly be robbed of its holiday quality."

When the rest hour came to an end, Madame Diane finally showed up again an exact hour as the time she had left you. Their organisation was finely measured, timed and unforgivable.

Fiora couldn't help but regain her position as the cling-on next to Viktor.

"Pulled out your fanciest shoes for me?" she giggled as her eyes roamed Viktor's aid.

He sighed, "If I have to keep up with you, this is more than needed."

She gave you a dark look, though it was different from the one she'd previously thrown at you so far. There was a sort of flash of malice, an unpleasant aspect of that of a chess player with a sick and evil strategy.

You took no further notice as the walk to the Demacian Academy began.

You passed various buildings, Diane telling you a few little facts about the history of the streets and specific places. Jayce made comments here and there.

"How do they build such edifices?" he asked, amazed by the city's architecture and its intricacies.

"By piling stones on top of each other," you replied, Garen smiling beside you, your eyes witnessing Viktor's cheekbones rising at your remark from your view of his back.

You finally reached the Demacia Academy. Its campus formed a pile of wings of buildings of varying sizes and architecture. 

"Each study environment," as Madame Diane pointed out as you walked through the Academy's gardens, "is separated into its own buildings. We are privileged and proud to be able to welcome all kinds of cultures and knowledge within our walls. Humanities, Engineering, Art, all forms of wisdom are welcomed without any hierarchy."

Your eyes roamed over the bluish domed roofs, wondering if from the inside these same tiles covered all the light or if their material was transparent like sunglasses.

"A single point joins the students who wish it," she raised her long index finger in the air, pointing to the sky as if the almighty sky bequeathed to her every truth about the globe.

Garen pressed his palm against your shoulder, your eyes resting on it as he whispered into your ear.

"See over there?" the index finger of his hand on your shoulder, seemingly engulfing you by its size, pointed in a direction you followed.

"Mhm?" you hummed, observing a flat area that wasn't concreted over and seemed to be covered in a long, black, loose carpet.

"That's the training area," his warm breath brushed against your ear, "me and Fiora meet there every morning."

"We want our students to stay healthy and to help each other," Diane recited aloud.

Garen huffed, continuing to murmur. "If you'd like to see her lose eventually, this is where the show's at."

"Lose?" you repeated in a whisper, your eyes drifting to Fiora next to Viktor, who just seemed to have turned his head away.

"Mhm," said Garen before straightening up and letting go of your shoulder, "I've heard that it's something you don't do."

You smiled, a little laughy breath escaping from your lungs. 

"Thus, we have a training area dedicated to this," Diane continued, "our students can go there whenever they like, it's a free field. Now, if you don't mind, we're going to continue..."

But you could barely register another sentence at the moment, your eyebrows furrowing as you began to move forward with the rest of the group. 

One thought remained in your mind, however. Something that had struck you suddenly, something that surprised you more than you would have thought: not a shiver had been born under Garen's breath on your skin.

It was strange, not a single hair standing on end, no heat rising to your cheeks. Nothing. 

It was only when the memory of Viktor's breath hit the back of your neck that it began to heat up.

You tried to pull yourself together, to ignore this information, and to ignore the warm sensation in your stomach as your eyes found Viktor's combed brown locks.

It's probably nothing,’ you tried to convince yourself.

The rest of the day passed pleasantly, exploring the library and some of the historic sites on campus. You had eaten in a charming restaurant near the hotel, while the Demacian students returned to their cafeterias and afternoon classes and Heimerdinger gave you a lesson on Demacia. He had preferred to postpone his lessons on Demacia to save them for the trip, for a better immersion and to truly submerge you in his lessons.

Fiora was glued to Viktor like a leech, as if when he let go of her arm he was going to fall face first onto the pavement. She kept sending you these petty little smiles, and you kept giving her a deeply neutral expression.

The night came earlier than expected, and you dreaded the idea of having to share this room, which was supposed to be so pure and perfect, with an oddball like her.

You were already strangely regretting the night you'd spent with Viktor. Admittedly, you hadn't always had the best of times when you were forced into close proximity, but that didn't detract from the fact that you had common ground and mutual respect.

Up until now, Fiora hadn't earned your respect.

And to your surprise, as the hours passed and you read in bed, she never came.

Many thoughts raced through your mind, tirelessly changing subjects and possibilities.

Was she with Viktor? you wondered.

No, Garen and Viktor went to bed together.

So where is the viper? Perhaps it's in its burrow, at home in who knows which grand Demacian mansion, in a bed with silk sheets and canopied curtains. Madame's sleep must not be damaged or altered in any way.

And that breath on your skin, that hadn't done anything to you? Why did it?

Sleep overtook you quickly though, overpowering your fiery spirit, Demacia's jet lag catching up with you faster than you thought possible.

When you awoke, it was early enough in the morning that the horizon was still a gradation of night leading towards the bright pearl of the sun. Your eyes found Fiora's bed empty and perfectly tucked in just as you had found it.

You took advantage of the fact that the city was still a little asleep to get out your tarot deck. You knocked on both sides, hoping to release whatever energy the petricite could have brought.

You performed your usual little ritual, and the card of the day turned out to be the five of swords. The little booklet provided you with the following information: 

Cruelty. Think about your actions and words. False accusations. Cowardice. Inflated ego at the expense of others. Taking advantage of others.

This is a warning card that reminds you of the power of your words and actions. An argument has ended and there is a winner, a loser, and a mediator. Who do you identify with on this card? Which character represents you at this precise moment? If you don't recognise yourself in this card, who or what does it remind you of? What lessons can you learn from this image?

You were sighing, an argument? It was probably because of yesterday with Fiora, because of what you had to learn from it.

So you got ready for the day, looking forward to meeting Garen on that famous training area. You had discussed the time at which him and the pretentious one would meet, deciding to join them a little later to let them do their training but above all to go there with a small group of students who intended to visit more of the university with their Demacian duos.

The days were to be split in two. In the morning, the Demacian students would be in class, while the Piltovian students would have their history lessons with Heimerdinger. The afternoons would be devoted to visiting Demacia, its monuments, museums and so on.

So you went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. There you met Viktor and Jayce, sharing their table. You helped yourself to the buffet in this luxury self-service restaurant before coming over to them.

"Good morning," greeted Viktor, sipping his coffee as his eyes were riveted on what appeared to be the local newspaper.

"Morning," you replied as you sat down at their table.

"You know," Jayce began with his mouth full, "I'm not usually a fan of switching foods but," he twitched his nose as he chewed energetically, "I gotta hand it to them, it's really good."

"You would eat flowers if they were edible," you remarked before bringing your own breakfast to your lips, nodding at the taste, though.

"Ah ha! See?" Jayce remarked at your expression.

You shrugged. "Not bad."

Actually, what you were chewing was delicious, but it wasn't hard to reach that level given your diet of mostly simple pasta and stir-fry in your flat.

"Come on," Jayce tried, turning to Viktor, "their coffee's good too."

The questioned man abandoned his reading of the newspaper, taking in hand a pastry covered in icing sugar. "I'll admit that it's not bad."

"Not bad?" you remarked, arching an eyebrow. "Better than mine?"

He chuckled. "Not possible."

You nodded. "Huh, I guess I'll just have to check for myself," you remarked, pressing your palm against the table as you prepared to get up and help yourself to the drink area.

"You can just drink from mine," suggested Viktor.

The pressure of your weight on your palm eased, turning your head towards him. "From yours?"

He watched you for a moment, then picked up his cup and placed it in front of you. "I don't know if I'll be able to finish it in one go," his back found the back of the seat, "so, we can share."

You considered the mug for a moment, observing the ring of foam that had dried and marked the inside of the cup, waiting to be drunk. It seemed sweet, like what Viktor used to drink.

You curled your fingers around its handle, the round, slightly flattened cup feeling pleasantly heavy in your hand. You brought it to your lips, blowing gently on its contents and noticing the previous mark of the sip Viktor had taken.

Your glance met his, moving from your mouth to your eyes, your lips resting where his had been moments before, before you took a sip without your gaze ever leaving each other's. 

His jaw seemed to tense for a moment as your tongue passed over your lower lip to catch the last few drops of coffee before placing the cup back on the table.

You nodded, raising your eyebrows. "Not bad."

Viktor's amber eyes had a strange blackness in them, pierced by a dark glint you couldn't make out that brought more warmth to your cheeks and neck than the coffee.

"I told you!" Jayce exclaimed, bringing you back to reality almost brutally.

What was going on? Why was the air suddenly so thick and tense?

Your eyes lowered to your breakfast, taking a small bite as you returned to Viktor gently through your eyelashes. His gaze was still on you, his long, slender fingers wrapping around the waist of the cup and bringing it to his mouth.

His eyes lit up with a strange satisfaction as your lips parted and his came to rest where yours had been only seconds ago. 

Your heart leapt in your chest as you engulfed your entire meal in one mouthful, preferring to find an excuse like this to the suffocation you were beginning to feel from the pounding of your heart against your ribs, which were suddenly too narrow to contain it.

Viktor looked at you, as surprised as he was amused by the suddenness of this behaviour.

"You look nervous," Jayce pointed out, "are you alright?"

You met his gaze, your eyes drifting over Viktor's for a moment as you swallowed your mouthful with difficulty. Quick, an excuse, or something.

"I'm going to try and train with the Demacian students," you explained.

Jayce's eyebrows rose, Viktor's frowned.

"You're about to try and train with them?" the taller one repeated, wiping the crumbs from his sweet tooth with the back of his hand, "the same students that have a training area and some of the best fighters in all Runeterra?"

You stuffed your mouth with another part of your breakfast, trying to take some strength for what would await. "Yes."

Breakfast continued simply until you finally decided to go to the Academy campus. The sun was higher in the sky, already warm as you made your way to the training ground.

A group of students were occupying various parts of the large area, a variety of wooden weapons clashing against each other in a waltz of energetic movements and grunts.

The small group of Piltovian students approached this area, some coming to meet up with their duet mates, others standing back to observe the scene.

You finally caught sight of Garen, busy at the moment against a mannequin, his stature seeming even more imposing that way. Dressed in a navy blue t-shirt with sweat stains on the collar and back, baggy black trousers and combat boots, he looked perfectly military.

When he met your eyes, he smiled at you, indicating with his fingers that you should come closer. You pointed your index finger at yourself, exchanging glances with Jayce and then Viktor.

"Don't look at me," the latter pointed out, "if I've got any place on this field it's as a training dummy."

You shrugged. "I'm sure you'd make an amazing fencer with your cane," you said before stepping forward when Garen came your way.

You reached him on the pitch, the feel of the ground softer and smoother than you would have thought. No doubt to reduce the damage of falls, which were bound to be numerous around here.

"Good morning," Garen greeted you when you reached him.

"Good morning," you pressed your lips into a thin line. "I think by coming here I've voluntarily signed my death warrant."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," he confirmed in a soft laugh, starting to move forward.

"Fiora isn't here?" you questioned, anxiously.

"She went ahead to get herself some water, she'll be back soon," he explained.

"Hope she takes her time," you sighed, "I'd like to... try training."

He turned to you in surprise. "Try training?"

"Mhm," you confirmed, "gotta get the full experience of this trip, I guess?"

He chuckled, nodding finally. "Alright, what would you like to try?"

"What's on the menu for bruises and sore muscles today?" 

"Hmm," he glanced at the few remaining wooden weapons, "let us try with a staff."

Your eyes followed his gaze, settling on one of the weapon bearers. A row of quarterstaffs was there, waiting to be retrieved. 

Fighting with wands, the joke was almost ridiculously simple if you thought back to the five of wands.

He picked one up, throwing it at you as you caught it in the air.

"Good reflexes," he remarked as he took one in turn, "it's going to be needed." He twirled the staff in his hand with ease, positioning himself in front of you. "Show me what you know."

You had distant memories of using a staff, of parrying, of attacking, even if you weren't an expert and wasn’t sure about your capacity on bringing them back to life.

You had to get it into your head that you weren't there to win, but to learn, to take in new information and rediscover what it meant to learn through interest rather than obligation.

You described a swing in the air, the wood hissing as Garen easily parried the blow, coming into your game. All he had to do was push a little harder against you so that the pressure made you tilt your balance and he took advantage of it to try a blow that you still managed to parry before stepping back and almost losing your balance.

"You're smaller than me, and probably faster," commented Garen, "use it to your advantage."

"How am I supposed to do that?" you questioned, tightening your grip around your staff in the hope that your muscle memory would do the job.

Garen repositioned himself, smiling slightly. "Surprise me."

You chuckled, tapping the tip of your stick on the ground twice before repositioning yourself, bending your knees and tensing your shoulders.

You trotted towards him a little, raising your staff in the air before deviating and giving a kick with your foot on his at the last moment to shift the balance. His grip was firmer on it than you thought, but the blow was enough to divert his attention to the gesture and you drove your stick into his foot, causing him to grunt as you tried to go around him to hit the back of his knees.

Realising your trick though, he changed his stance, pivoting towards you and swinging an arc through the air that you stepped back from in time, dodging his next blow by placing your palm on his staff to squeeze it and pull it towards you to bring him down.

But his weight of muscle won out over yours, so he used your initial idea to his advantage by pulling you towards him until your back was against his chest and he was holding his staff under your chin.

You felt his warm chest under the fabric of his T-shirt, his chest expanding and sinking against you as you felt the wood of his staff push your chin up until your eyes met his. He huffed, cracking a smile.

"You did good," he breathed, cracking a smile before the grip on your chin eased and he released you.

You took a step forward, turning to face him. "Just good?"

"Not satisfied with good?" he pointed out.

"No," you chuckled as you grabbed your staff with both hands, ready to attack again.

He smiled, changing position again. "Then do better, Piltie girl."

"Would you look at that?"

Your eyes rolled heavenward as you recognised this insufferable voice and turned to Fiora.

She was wearing a uniform similar to that of Garen. A dark plum turtleneck t-shirt with short sleeves, trousers less wide than Garen's, and perfectly polished boots.

She was equipped with her most mocking smile. "How did you end up here?"

You shrugged, letting one hand fall away from the staff before your arm dropped to your side. "I thought I'd come here for a holiday camp, but too bad the activities and organisers aren't great."

She giggled, her eyebrows arching as she turned to the remaining staff to pick one up. Some students stopped practising, observing the scene. Fiora undoubtedly had her own little reputation which she maintained proudly, and to see someone standing up to her must have been a novelty for many.

"Let's see what you're made of," she said, putting herself on guard against you.

You sighed. "I don't want to fight you," you remarked as you moved towards the receptacle to lay down your weapon.

But she prevented you from doing so by sending it flying further away from a single hit. You glared at her.

Her smile was evil, her eyebrows low over vicious eyes. "You're gonna have to pick it up if you want to put it back there."

"Fiora," Garen warned, "stop."

"It's fine," you assured him, watching Fiora's face change between satisfaction and impatience.

You knew she was trying to push you, to build up your frustration to get a reaction out of you. You didn't want to give her the pleasure.

You breathed a sigh, walking over to the staff on the ground before picking it up. But as you turned, you barely had time to reflexively place the staff in front of your face as a parry.

Fiora had just tried to attack you, and violently at that.

"Fight," she insisted as you took a step backwards. "Don't they teach you how to fight in Piltover?"

You huffed, trying to get round her as she circled after you like a predator around its prey. "Guess we swapped war for intellect," you pointed out, feeling more in the mood for a verbal joust than a physical one, "I can see how the lack of it is visibly affecting you."

Fiora frowned, pointing the end of her staff at you. "What did you just say?"

You smiled, getting caught up in the game. "Do I have to repeat it for you? Or break it down into digestible pieces for your little brain?"

She grunted before drawing rapid attacks in the air that you managed to parry and avoid until you crossed the wood and found yourselves close. 

"You are so lacking in intelligence that neither education nor experience has helped you to fill this gap in your nature," you taught her.

She punched you in the stomach before hitting you in the thigh with her staff, forcing you to your knees. You felt the tip of her staff under your chin, firm and raw as she looked down at you.

"Look at who's kneeling before me," she sneered as she exchanged smiles with the surrounding students.

You didn't let her get to you though. "Simply tying my shoes, your majesty."

The nickname seemed to irritate her in a less visible way than the others, but you could still make out the little muscle near her eye tense up.

She offered a simple blow of her nose in laughter, leaving you on the ground as her stick dislodged itself from your chin.

She then turned to her audience, rounding on you. ‘What a fierce little thing she is, isn't she?’ she quizzed.

You turned towards her, straightening up as you frowned.

"By your words I believe you called me ignorant, so I did a bit of digging." She wore a smile that was about to cause some serious errors. "You will be surprised to learn that," she turned to you with a wicked smile, "she's an orphan."

Your lips parted as your chest began to tighten in anger, the other students around you all glaring at you like a freak show.

"No one ever wanted her," Fiora went on as if she were presenting a tragic two-bit story, "until she got taken in by pity."

You wanted to rip her tongue out. How could she know? How dare she put it out there for everyone to see?

She hovered around you, addressing her audience to paint a pitiful picture. 

"Got a failure? Get another for half the price!" She sneered as she described dramatic gestures of demonstration, calming down on the theatrical though as she turned back to you, eyes half-closed with pretense and pointing at you with her staff. "So now," she resumed, tone condescending, "she tries to remove that tag off herself by being first everywhere!" She turned to the other pupils as if they were little children learning a lesson. 

Your knuckles had turned white from squeezing your fists so tight, your breathing quickening as your anger built.

She turned to face you. "As if that was going to change her nature."

"That's enough!" Garen growled as he approached her.

"What's wrong? I am simply stating facts," Fiora pointed out falsely, innocently.

Their conversation faded from your mind, however, as your frustration rose inside you. 

Who was it? Who was it that could have given her this information?

There were only three people who knew about this matter. Only three. Jayce, Sky...

And Viktor.

Viktor, who had spent his time in Fiora's company, who was always glued to his arm, who had had to give in to the fatigue and frustration of her questions by answering her about you while she was scheming against you.

There was only him.

Your body seemed to you like a suit of armour in a garden of white statues of purity, where the ruby-red roses of anger were allowed to overtake the metal covering your rage.

Clad in armour. 

Ready.

"You said you wanted to fight?" 

Your voice echoed through the air louder than you could have imagined, but loud enough that all heads turned towards you. Fiora smiled, having finally achieved her goal.

"You've changed your mind?"

"Yes." Your tone was firm, rigid.

"That is most delightful to hear," Fiora smiled, turning to her audience and raising her arms before regaining your gaze, "I'll even do you the honour of choosing your weapon."

"No weapons."

Your whole body tensed, your fingers twitching as your muscles seemed to prepare themselves for what was about to happen.

Fiora raised her eyebrows. "Fists? How barbaric.’

"Scared your fancy manicure can't handle it?"

It was asking everything in your power not to let your voice explode in the air, to remain calm and articulate.

All the same, Fiora seemed fascinated by your determination to continue to stand up to her, to refuse to give up, to abandon in the face of her.

"Careful Fiora," shouted one of the students, "I've heard she's a witch."

Had she finally infiltrated your room? Looked through your things while you were asleep? Or had she managed to hear about Selene and had already started to do her viper's work of spreading rumours? Either way, she was already on to you.

"Glad to know we're on the right territory to get rid of this kind of waste," smiled Fiora.

"You can't beat me," you put the staff back in its receptacle, moving away again to get ready, "only one person gets to have that honour."

Your eyes landed on Viktor, who was watching the scene with furrowed brows.

You readied your breath, stopping your heart from getting too big in your chest as your legs prepared to hold your balance.

"So eager," Fiora sighed with a stupid grin, stepping forward to place her staff, "I didn't know you would-"

But as soon as the staff was placed, your knuckles made hard contact with her cheek, sending her to the ground.

A wave of shocked murmurs took over the crowd as you stood, eyes lowered on Fiora as she leaned back to straighten herself on the floor, her perfectly smooth fringes slightly dishevelled revealing her wide eyes as she brought her palm to her cheek still warm from the blow.

"Get up," your voice was cold, trying to remain unwavering while your fist trembled. "You said you wanted a fight, so," your lips were full of rage, "fight."

Fiora snarled, springing to her feet and running at you with the breath of a bull seeing red. She tried to land a blow on your face to return the favour, but you dodged it and punched her in the stomach, her curling up as you grabbed her hair and she started screaming.

"You fucking bitch!" she cried.

She slapped you on the shoulder and you let go, throat rocky with wrath. "Yell at me again and I'll give you a proper reason to scream."

There was a dangerous growl in your voice, a grinding of a gear powering an old machine that was starting up again.

She came back at you, landing a blow on your leg in the hope of making you kneel again, but she was only marginally successful. She hit you in the jaw, causing you to back away slightly, before delivering a second blow to the cheekbone.

You didn't give her the honour of adding a third strike, offering her a violent punch in the throat that took her backwards as you took a slight leap and slammed your hand hard into her face, her grabbing your clothes and dragging you backwards as she fell.

Sitting on her abdomen, your two knees blocked her arms as you gained free reign over her guard.

You hit her once, twice, thrice, her cheek beginning to swell. Your blows increased in intensity, the tension in your fist not stopping you even if the bones in your hand broke.

"Stop this!" 

Two thick arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you out with difficulty as you struggled in vain.

Garen pulled you away from the body of Fiora, who had turned to spit a cloud of bloody spray onto the floor. Your eyes never let go of her, as if you were obsessed with your real aim of seeing her admit defeat.

"You," you snapped at her, regaining some calmness though, "you're the one that started spreading gossip about me behind my back aren't you?"

Fiora turned to you, breathless. "What?" Her voice was hoarse from your blow.

"Don't make me repeat myself," you threatened, fully aware that you hadn't hit any of her eardrums and that she could understand you perfectly well.

She breathed heavily. "Why does it matter?"

You approached slightly, fists still clenched as you watched her on the floor, pathetic.

"Just wanted to make sure you knew your place."

Fiora shook off the hands of the students who had just tried to help her off ofto the floor, her furious eyes finding you as she struggled to get to her feet.

You realised the extent of the damage your fury, your uncontrollable anger, had done. Fiora's face was red, one of her eyelids bulging as blood poured from her nose, joining the red on her lips and gums.

You could have gone on, made things worse. Who knows how far you could have gone? What irreversible damage you could have caused? What life you could have taken in your own anger?

The realisation hit you like an anvil.

Your eyes roamed the crowd, the faces of the frightened students.

I... I did this? you thought.

I made them look at me with... fear?

Your eyes found Fiora still on the ground, grunting in pain and coughing.

Monster.

That's all you were. A being incapable of overcoming the violence that had nourished her, of abandoning the bosom of this bitter mother who had cuddled her so much and made her grow.

Your gaze wandered over the rest of the pupils, until it met his.

Viktor's face was shocked.

No, please...

His lips were parted and his eyes wide as you felt your hands impossibly sticky with the hot blood they had spilled.

Please, don't look at me like that... Your heart was trembling. 

Not you.

You had to get out of here.

Hands clasped to your sides, you strode across the pitch, the few students even two metres away from you moving away as you passed.

I made them like this. Although this thought might have given some people a feeling of pride and power, you couldn't help but feel covered in a terrible shame.

You couldn't meet anyone's eyes as you made your way to the nearest water source, away from any eyes.

You turned the crank on a fountain to turn it on, your breath quickening with anxiety.

I have to get this off me.

You ran your hands frantically under the water, rubbing the reddened skin of your knuckles and trying to get rid of the blood that was already starting to dry.

You returned to the handle as the water subsided, your hand coming into contact with the blood you'd left behind when you turned it the first time.

You make everything dirty. Everywhere you go there will be blood if you go on.

You swallowed a sob as you tried to clean the crank and your hands again.

But nothing would wash the feeling away. Nothing could extinguish the fire still burning in your fingertips. Nothing could make you forget the warm, slimy sensation of the pain you'd committed, of the violence at the edge of your skin.

It's what you're made of.

You sat against the wall, banging both wet fists against your skull as if that would stop those thoughts from ruling your mind.

And he'd seen you. He saw you like this. Your violence coming to life before his eyes, reflected in an indecipherable Iris.

You put your head between your knees, tried to take a deep breath before you got up, your legs weak and trembling as you made your way back to the hotel.

Stupid, stupid crown.

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[megs-1800]

The One Where We Were On A Break

Note: Based on the 'we were on a break' episode from Friends. Let me know if you guys want a part 2.

Summary: You call a break after a stupid fight about Mason being jealous. Mason decides to go out and let some steam off but ends up sleeping with someone else. Mason argues you were 'on a break' so didn't cheat but you still decide to end it. What will happen when you have to meet again 6 months later? Will you be able to rekindle your relationships? Will you let all your feelings resurface?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 11.5k

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Swearing and SMUT!

It had been a busy week well actually it has been a crazy 6 months! We have moved to Manchester with Masons transfer and Mason has settle in well to Manchester but it did put a strain on our relationship with the stress of his contract ending but we stuck through it together. I was worried about moving to Manchester as we would be so far away from all our friends and family and I would have had to change jobs but I promised Mason I would stick by him so I didn’t let my worries hit the surface and always put on a brave face for him.

I really struggled to find a job, I have been trained in a lot including management and admin but there wasn’t many jobs around at this time. Mason said he could probably get me a job doing something admin like at united but I wanted to be known for ‘me’ not just ‘Mason Mount’s girlfriend’ so I always declined saying that something would come up.

2 months after we moved I got a message from my ex’s best friend James. We were always close and I saw him like a big brother. He was good to me after me and my ex broke up and totally sided with me after he cheated and helped me rebuild myself. I hadn’t really spoken to him much since he moved to Manchester 3 years ago but he must of saw that I moved since it was all over the news that Mason signed for United. I quickly opened the message “Hey gorgeous girl how have you been?! Long time no see! I saw that you moved to Manchester we defo need to meet up! I wanna hear about everything especially that footballer boyfriend of yours! Let me know when you are free. I know you probably got loads of jobs fighting over you but we have a position at my company that has just become available, so if you are interested I would love to take you out to lunch to discuss it more? xx”.

I didn’t know what to say, this would be massive for me. James works for a high end mental health charity, they have won awards on how impactful they are, I have been seeing it all over James’ socials, this job would be ideal for me. I messaged James straight away accepting. James rang me right back telling me all about the job and we both arranged a lunch to discuss it further. I couldn’t wait to tell Mason, it all sounded to good to be true.

Mason is home early that day, as soon as he walks in the door I cannot stop the massive smile all over my face. “Wow that excited to see me are you?” Mason smirks coming over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist and placing a kiss to my lips. “I always get excited seeing that gorgeous face! But well I kinda got some news” .

“Oh yeah what is that?” Mason asks as he starts putting all of training kit down and comes to sit on the sofa.

“Well I kinda got approached about a job today!” I cannot stop the excitement in my voice.

“Oh wow baby that’s amazing!” Mason places a hand on my thigh and gives me a reassuring smile.

“Yeah it sounds amazing! The pay is INSANE, its only like 10 minutes from here. I will finally be able to start making a difference to people. Apparently the new operations manager is so awful so they reckon she will be leaving soon so you never know I could work my way up. Oh Mase honestly its so ideal, I got a lunch arranged tomorrow about it and they said I might even be able to start next week!” I couldn’t stop the grin that’s beaming off my face.

“Honestly y/n that sounds great. How did you find out about this?”  I felt my stomach drop I wasn’t sure how Mason is going to react. I have never given Mason a reason to doubt me but he wasn’t James’ biggest fan. He always thought James had a thing for me and became very protective around him. Mason has only met James a couple of times at my birthday parties or mutual events but every time Mason made sure to keep an eye on him.

“James” I reply sheepishly. I watched Mason’s face go into shock.

“James?.. are you serious? James really. What the hell is he doing offering you a job?” I can tell Mason seems a little pissed.

“James works for a mental health charity. He is literally like 2nd in charge but he doesn't want the service manager role so he thinking if he can get me in then I might be able to go for it. It sounds amazing Mase. Its got nothing to do with James, he is doing me a favour by getting me this job.” I can see Mason trying to contemplate his answer.

“Y/n you don’t even need a job, I told you to stop panicking and that I can provide for the both of us. Plus what does James get out of getting you this job? What is it like he gets you this job and he gets to get into your knickers?” I am taken back by Mason’s comment and cannot believe he could be actually that rude.

“James gets to have someone hard working and good at their job at his company. I don’t want to live off your money I want to make something for myself plus this has nothing to do with the crush that you THINK James has on me!” I can feel myself started to get a little heated.

“Oh Please Y/N! What other reason does James suddenly have to hire you. He just wants to sleep with you Y/N come on.”  I am now fuming at Mason.

“Oh yeah of course Mason cause God forbid someone actually hires me because I am good at my job and will smash it. Noooo its because I am a good little fuck. You know what fuck off Mason!” I shout the last part as I am storming out the room.

“Y/N wait I didn’t mean it like-“ I didn’t wait for his response as I continued to storm upstairs. I didn’t see Mason for the rest of the night as he gave me my space which I appreciated and I was asleep before he came to bed. I cannot believe he would ruin something I was so excited about like that. I just cannot believe he doesn’t trust me, I have never given him a reason not to trust me and look at him! I am so attracted to him why would I need anyone else? I just wish Mason could see that.

Its icy the next couple of days between me and Mason which we try and keep it civil and not discuss the whole James situation. Mason went off to training and as soon as he leaves I get ready for my lunch with James. I struggle to know what to wear as I want to look professional but also not too much as its not a job interview. I opt in for a little skirt and shirt with a suede jacket to make it look a little more casual.

We meet at the little Café that James wanted to meet at. He is already sat at the table when I arrive.

“Damn look at you” I see him look me up and down which makes me feel a little insecure. “So how have you been?” he asks. I explain about Mason and about the move to Manchester. I confided how it was hard being away from everyone which James is quick to reply with a wink and  a “well at least you know you got ally here” . I wasn’t sure how to respond, James was always flirty but he always knew nothing more would happen.

James tells me all about the job as we tuck into our lunch and coffee’s. It sounds amazing and just everything I wanted. At the end of lunch we argue over the bill which we finally agree to split and start to make our way back to our cars. I give James a small friendly hug and thanked him, which he was straight to respond “So when can you start?” I look at James confused.

“What do you mean? Don’t I need to come in and see your boss? Don’t I need my interview?”

“Well I told my boss all about you once we got off the phone. She absolutely loved you… well I did sell you a little. But in all honesty she knows she is going soon she is really not cut out to be the operations manager so she doesn’t want to interview you. She said she trusts me and well I trust you. So when do you want to start?”

I look at James with shock and I cannot contain my excitement, I am jumping up and down and give James a massive hug. “Thank you so much, honestly thank you. I can start Monday if that’s okay?”

“Perfect” he replies.

The drive home I am scream singing to my Spotify playlist. The past 3 years of Mason and I dating I have done everything for him this is the first time I am doing something for myself and no one can bring my mood down now. When I pull into the driveway my mood instantly changes, I am not sure if I want to tell Mason as he will probably just ruin my mood. I walk into the house slightly not wanting to argue right now.

Mason is the first one to speak “how did lunch go?”

“Good.” I replied bluntly. We haven’t spoken much since the argument the other day so its still a little sour between us.

“Come on I mean it please baby how did it go? I really wanna know.” I admit defeat and wrap my arms around Mason’s neck. I always hated being angry with him.

“It went so great. He said I can start Monday. I honestly cannot believe it Mason. This job is so perfect for me. I cannot believe it.”

Mason wraps one arm around my waist and places the other throw my hair. “I am so proud of you. You are going to be amazing.”

The next 4 months are a whirlwind. The job is everything I wanted and more. Our boss handed her notice of resignation in last month confirming she will be leaving in 2 months time. That leaves me and James to work our ass’s off to get everything ready for our managers departure. There are a lot of talk from our higher up management about me taking the position of service manager which is making me work even harder now I am in the limelight. I am having the time of my life, the problem is Mason isn’t having the same, he is struggling at United. His injuries are getting the better of him and when he is playing he isn’t having the best games. I am trying to be as supportive as I can but its difficult when I am so busy too.

Me and Mason have hardly seen eachother the past couple of weeks, he has been training trying to overcome his injury and I am asleep by the time he is home or the days he gets off early I am working late. Its been tough the past couple of weeks but I just keep trying to tell myself things will get better once I get this promotion.

Its another night of working late again, I messaged Mason earlier today to tell him not to wait up and I will be late. There is 150 cases me and James need to sort through and organise ready for our meeting with the CEO tomorrow. I have my headphones on and I am in the zone as I am typing away when I see my phone ring. I look down and see our picture, knowing Mason was calling. The picture was taken on our family holiday to Greece, it was one of my favourite holidays. Now I am suddenly missing the closeness with Mason. I quickly answer it.

“Hey baby I am so sorry I did say earlier I was going to be late its just-“ Mason cuts me off.

“Come on Y/N its 8pm. Its our anniversary. You promised I would actually see you tonight.” Shit I completely forgot it was our anniversary I completely forget.

“I am sorry baby I only got a couple more hours here then I will be straight home. I will make it up to you. I will wear the red lace outfit you like? Then I promise we will go out for a nice dinner tomorrow. I will turn my phone off so no distractions I promise please just let me have tonight”.  I tried to lighten the mood a little.

“Y/N I tired of having a relationship with your voicemail. I have hardly seen you in weeks. I know its because of your job and soon it will sort it self out but its anniversary. Come on everything will still be there tomorrow just come home” I can hear him pleading. I feel awful.

I go to answer when James walks over “another glass of wine?” he asks. I am quickly shaking my head to shut him up hoping that Mason didn’t hear. I really don’t want an argument tonight.

“Who is that? Is that James?” I can hear the anger in his voice. Here we go I thought.

“yeah James is helping me sort these cases out ready for our meeting in the morning” I am trying to justify.

“Okay great.. so you are spending our anniversary drinking wine with James. Yep makes sense” I can tell he is pissed off.

“Come on Mase don’t start. Its late you have had a long day of training you are probably knackered please don’t start an argument you know that doesn’t need to happen” I am begging now I haven’t got it in me to have this argument right now.

“Well Y/N I am your boyfriend and you see James more then you see me right now so what does that make that?”

I don’t even know what to respond, “you know what Mason I am done with this conversation”

“Great have a nice evening bye” He then hangs up the phone. No matter how angry we are we always say a little ‘love you’ at the end I cannot believe he just hung up. I know I have fucked up now. I can feel the tears in my eyes. I looked up at James who gives me a look of pity “Go” he says, which I mutter a quick thank you and pack my stuff up.

I quickly drive home and run through the door. Mason is sat on the sofa on his phone and doesn’t even acknowledge that I have come home. I stand in the doorway for a little just staring at him but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “I’m sorry” I mutter. He still doesn’t look up. I slowly walk over to him and straddle his hips. He sighs and rolls his eyes. “I’m an idiot Mase come on forgive me” I start kissing his cheek and make my way down to his neck.

I can hear Mason moan as I grind my hips into him but he pushes me off. “Stop I am not in the mood” I let a deep breathe out. “I know I fucked up Mase but I am here now lets enjoy our anniversary. Please I don’t want to argue”.  

“Then you should of thought about that before you decided to spend our anniversary drinking wine with James”

“Oh come on Mason this James bullshit is getting boring. We are working Mase, we are trying to get this presentation completed for tomorrow. I have been there through all of your work shit, come on I moved to fucking Manchester and left my whole life behind for you. All I am asking is for you to be understanding that I am working hard now for my promotion. Stop being selfish”

“Its not about me being selfish. I am completely understanding of your job I just don’t understand why he needs to be up your ass 24/7?”

“Oh come on Mase this is childish. We are working Mason. James is amazing at his job and he is helping me out so I can get my promotion”

“Yeah and what does he want in return?”  I shoot Mason a look, this argument is now getting heated.

“He doesn’t want anything Mason. Maybe he just isn’t selfish like you and wants to actually see other people succeed”

“I want you to succeed Y/N, and you are going to do amazing as the manager and I am so damn proud of you. But you are my girlfriend and I am sick of not seeing you whilst James sees you every minute of every fucking day”

“Stop being jealous Mason its not a good look on you. I have never given you a reason to not trust me, I fucking love you and only you. Get over yourself” I feel so tired I can feel my eyes starting to droop and my anger is getting higher by the minute.

“Well you are spending our anniversary drinking wine with James instead of me”

“We are working Mason! I cannot keep having this same argument with you. I am too tired”

“Exactly Y/N you are too tired. That’s all you have ever been lately, but never too tired for James. I trust you but I don’t trust him. He has got a thing for you Y/N and you are just leading him on by spending all this time with him.”

“I am not doing anything Mason. I am working, I am doing my job. I cannot do this Mason! I am tired of every time we see eachother we argue and we fight over the same stupid shit!” I am now screaming. “You know what Mase, maybe we should just take a break”.

Mason nods “Great idea, you go for a bath and I will cook dinner”

I can feel the sting of the tears in my eyes “no Mase I mean a break from us”  Mason doesn’t reply he stands there staring at me in disbelief. He turns on his heals and walks out the house slamming the door behind him.

I can feel myself drop to the ground as I let the tears out, I didn’t want him to leave I just needed the shouting to stop. I am so tired, I am drained from work and drained from the arguments with Mason I was just so fed up.

I don’t know how long I have been sat there but I see James’ number show up on my phone “Hey I am so sorry for ringing you during your anniversary meal. Is it a bad time?”  I am trying to sniffle to the tears in. “Are you crying? Whats happened?”  he questions.

“I am okay, Mason and I had an argument. He left. Whats up?”

“Uh shit Y/N I am sorry. I should of never asked you to work today. I am sorry, look I still got a half bottle of wine and I really need your help with this last case I keep looking over it and I think I am just too tired I don’t suppose you could help?”

“Sure come over. Mason won’t be home anytime soon”

Mason’s POV

I shouldn’t of walked out but I am just so broken, how could you call a break? I get we both are tired and strained from not seeing eachother but to call a break really. I just didn’t know how to react.

I started walking then realised I had no where to go. That’s when I remember Declan is in Manchester as he played City yesterday and we were due to see Declan and Lauren for dinner tomorrow which I am now guessing will be cancelled. I quickly ring Declan, he answers after 2 rings “Yo Mase how you doing?” I don’t even know how to respond to that, I am anything but good right now.

“Not great, me and Y/N just had a fight. Just need to let off some steam”  I could hardly hear Declan he must be in a club somewhere all I can hear is the base.

“I am out with some of the Arsenal boys to the celebrate the win from yesterday. You are more then welcome to join I can send you the address?”

I quickly agree and Declan tells me the club he is at and I quickly order an uber. I know you get the uber receipt so I know you see that I am going to a club. When the uber pulls up the sound of the club suddenly hits me. I speak to the bouncer who lets me straight in and I make my way up to the booth Declan is at. It’s a lot more quieter over in this section.

I quickly get a couple of drinks in me to catch up and quickly explain the fight to Declan and the boys. I continue to drink at this point and now the alcohol is starting to hit me, all I can think about is you. What have I done? I turn to Dec:

“Did I just make an awful mistake causing that fight with Y/N?”

“Well has she done anything with this James? Anything that makes you think she will cheat? She tells Lauren everything and this James has never come up so I am confused?”

“Well not exactly… He fancies the fuck out of her which is clear and she is just spending all this time with him and neglecting our relationship. Nothing has happened they work together but I just know he wants her?”

“But she doesn’t want him? Y/N loves you more then anything Mase she would never do anything to hurt you. I get you are jealous we all get jealous sometimes when someone wants something that is ours but doesn’t mean that she will ever do anything to hurt you.”

I knew Declan was right, I cannot believe this was all because I was jealous of some guy. I quickly explained that I was going to call you. I quickly went outside the club where it was quiet and rang your number. I see your face light up the phone as its ringing, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. The line continued to ring forever which I see its passed midnight so you have probably fallen asleep that’s when the line connects.

“Hello” the voice answers. That’s James’ voice wtf. Why is he answering your phone? Why is he with you after midnight just after you called a break? Have you slept with him? Whats happened? I cannot believe we just broke up and you went running to him. I am fuming. I quickly hung the phone up and storm back inside.

I can feel the anger burning inside of me, that’s when I see a little blonde girl stood over at the bar. She is speaking to her friend but keeps flicking her eyes in my direction. I look her up and down. I hate myself for even looking at her like that. But if Y/N cheated then I am free to do the same.

I go over there and start talking to her, I offer her a drink which she agrees. She is the exact opposite to you. She is short and has the tinniest dress on that only just covers her bum. She has a head full of extensions and cover in fake tan. I love how you are more natural, you are my type in every way but tonight anger and alcohol have overtaken me.

The last thing I remember is having her grinding on me while Dec keeps asking me what the hell I am doing? I feel her tongue in my mouth and it feels foreign and wrong but I take another shot and then that’s the last thing I remember.

The next thing I know I am waking up, my head is pounding and I feel like I am going to be sick. I look over and I see the girl I was dancing with curled up next to me naked and now I want to be sick again but for a different reason. I hate myself I cannot believe I have done this.

I quickly look at my phone and its 6am in the morning, I see a couple of messages from Dec asking what the hell happened. I see a voicemail from you. I quickly get dressed and make my way out. I see her roommate sitting in the kitchen which looks straight to the bedroom door. I put my head down and continue to the front door. Once outside I listen to the voicemail:

“Please answer Mase I am sorry, you were right. Once you left James called saying he was stuck on the last case and needed my help. I let him come over and I told him what happened. He confessed his feelings for me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away Mason and told him to get out. I don’t want him. Look I only want you. I will quit my job if it will make you feel better please I just want us, you are all that matters to me. Please come home so we can talk about this please baby. I love you”.

Fuck now I feel even more sick, nothing happened between you two and now I slept with someone for nothing. This cannot be happening. When I get home I see you are curled up in bed sleeping on my side, you usually do this as you say it has my scent. I curl up next to you and spoon you, “I love you more then you will ever know baby girl” you hum into me and relax into my arms knowing I am home.

“Mase I am sorry” I hear you mutter. “Me too baby girl. Its okay we are all okay” I say as I trace my finger up your back to send you to sleep. I can’t let you find out, I cannot break your heart.

Readers POV

The next couple of weeks are perfect, I got the role as operations manager and things has calmed down at work. Now that I have been promoted I barely have time to talk to James and if I do its strictly about work. I am home so much more and Mason is making sure he spends all his free time with me. We are perfect and the happiest we have been in ages, so maybe that fight did help. Me and Mason didn’t really discuss the fight, we just moved on.

I am eating my lunch at my desk, when Maria from HR knocks on the door.

“Sorry are you on lunch I can come back?” I quickly swallow my mouthful and tell her its fine and she comes in and sit across the desk opposite me.

“Look I have been really debating whether or not to say anything but I know if it was me I would like to know?” I haven’t really had much dealings with Maria since I have started only really HR inquiries regarding staff I am wondering what she was talking about. Is someone talking about me behind my back. I am wondering.

“Look I know its not my place as it’s a personal issue but as I said before if it was me I would like to know. A couple of weeks ago my roommate went on a night out with her friends. She came home with this guy, I didn’t really get too much of a look until the morning when he snuck out of her bedroom. I saw that it was Mason Mount. I asked her about it and she confirmed they slept together, she isn’t into football so has no idea who he is so she has no reason to lie about it. James let is slip a couple of days ago that you are dating Mason and I have been fighting with my head ever since whether or not to say anything to you”.

“James had no right to discuss my personal life with you, I like to keep things very personal. But I appreciate you telling me thank you”

Maria didn’t really say much else and escorted herself out, I can feel the tears rolling down my face once I am alone and my heart is beating erratically. Mason has always had a lot of cheating rumours out but never this close to home, plus he never came home from our fight until after 6am and everytime I ask where he went he brushes over the question so it makes a lot of sense. I quickly wipe my eyes and call my assistant in “look I have a family emergency and need to go home can you block my diary out for the rest of the day. I will be back tomorrow”. She nods and I dart out of the office and make my way to my car. As soon as I am in the safety of my car I let the tears roll as I scream cry into the steering wheel. I have to confront Mason about this as I make the journey back to the house, the longest journey of my life.

Mason comes home about 20 minutes after me, I am sat on the sofa trying to control my breathing when I hear the key in the door. “Babe you are home early? All okay?” I hear Mason shout as he makes his way through the house. He stops in the living room doorway when he spots me “Why are you crying? Whats happened?” He quickly runs over to me and wraps me in his arms.

“Get off me!” I shout but its not very loud over the sound of my sniffles as I push him away. He looks confused.

“What have I done?” Mason asks, I can tell he has no idea what has happened. Just for a second I hope that maybe what was said was wrong but I know deep down my gut knows the truth.

“Come on Mason at least give me the courtesy of telling me the truth please” I am now crying and really cannot control my breathe as I am hyperventilating. Mason still looks at me confused I hate that he is playing dumb. “A-After our fight, w-where d-did y-you g-go?” I try and get out but my tears are causing me to struggle.

“I told you baby I went to the club with Declan and some of the boys? Whats this all about?” he tries to rub my leg  to comfort me but the look I give him he quickly removes his hand.

“No Mason! After the club where did you go?”  I can see the panic in his eyes, I can see him trying to work out how much I know?

“I told you that I ended up crashing at a hotel as I wasn’t sure if you wanted me home?” He lies very well I am thinking.

“You see Mason that’s not all true is it?” I can see him swallow and the panic is starting to set in “one of the girls I work with saw you come out of their roommates bedroom in the morning. I didn’t want to believe her so I rang your assistant and asked for the name of the hotel that you stayed at that night which she provided. The problem is that I rang that hotel pretending to be your assistant and ask for a copy of the receipt, they said it was booked but you never actually checked in so they decided not to charge you. So you never stayed there Mason so why lie? You covered your tracks very well telling your assistant to book that room but just didn’t cover your tracks good enough I suppose.” I can feel the tears rolling down my face which I cannot stop.

“Please baby I am sorry it was stupid it meant nothing that’s why I lied. I know it would break you I wanted to protect you.” I can feel myself break at his words my heart is shattering. I can see Mason’s tears rolling down his face too.

“Why did you do it? We had a fight Mason. All relationships do that. Please we have had worst arguments in the past so why did you decide to go fuck someone else. Was I just not enough for you anymore?”

Mason places his hands on mine, “No baby please don’t think that. You are perfect, you are everything! I was stupid and way too drunk I don’t even remember it please believe me.”

“You have been drunk many times in the past and haven’t cheated so why this time? Or have you cheated in the past and just lied about that too?”

“No please I have never cheated before. Please this time was a stupid fucking mistake y/n please believe me.”

“I feel like there is more to it Mason! Why this time? Why this fight did you just go out and decide to fuck someone else?!” I shout knowing Mason is holding back on the truth.

“Look okay I went out to the club with Declan and the boys to let some steam off. They talked sense into me and I went to ring you about midnight to apologise. When I rang James answered the phone. I thought that you slept with him okay I was angry and hurt-“

“So you thought that two wrongs make a right!”

“I know it was childish okay I was just pissed off that you went running straight to him and I thought with the time that maybe something happened. I wasn’t thinking okay baby I am sorry please forgive me. I made a stupid mistake. Then when I woke up in the morning and you left that voicemail putting the story straight about what happened with James I felt awful I just didn’t want to loose you”. Mason is now crying hard and keeps playing with his hair.

I took a deep breathe trying to hold myself together “okay Mase. Say that I did sleep with James. Would you of forgiven me?”

“Of course I would baby. Its you!”

“So you would have been okay knowing that James has been intimate with me? That has seen me naked? That he touched me, placed his hands all over my body? Made me cum-“

“Okay Okay” Mason cuts me off. “I would have been hurt yes of course I would. It would of broken me. But I couldn’t of let you go y/n. You mean so much to me I couldn’t of just thrown away everything we have”.

“Well Mason you kinda already have, you throw everything with us away the second you decided to cheat”.

“Please y/n p-please” Mason is a completely mess. “Just tell me what you want and I will do it. I will do anything to make things okay.”  Mason then grabs me and pushes a deep kiss onto me, I don’t kiss him back I just sit there and gently push Mason off me. He lays on my chest crying into me which is hurting me more. I hate seeing Mason so broken but I have to remember he is the one that done this.

I grab Mason’s face so he looks me in my eyes “I want you to leave Mason that’s what I want” .

Mason pulls away from me and gives me a pissed look “I am not leaving.” He is stern with that comment.

“Okay so you made me move to Manchester where I have no one and then won’t even let me stay in the house where am I even going to go? I haven’t even been paid yet. So you really going to let me leave knowing I have no one and no money, wow I guess I know what kind of guy you are really like that.”

I can tell Mason is hurt by this, he was always a gentleman and I know deep down he won’t just leave me on the street with nothing. “I mean both of us are not leaving y/n, we can both stay and sort this out.”

“Sort what out Mason? You cheated on me there is nothing to sort out”

“I didn’t technically cheat! We were on a break” I look at Mason with so much disgust at that comment.

“I called a break because I was angry at having the same argument. Not because I stopped loving you! But I guess you did because if you loved me you wouldn’t of just slept with the next slag you saw!”

“Please y/n I love you more then anything. It was a mistake please lets just talk about this. We can sort it please its us”.

“Okay how was she?” Mason looks pissed at this question

“What kind of fucking question is that Y/N?” I can see the hurt in his eyes. Its breaking his heart just as much as its breaking mine.

“You wanted to talk about it.. so lets talk about it! How was she?”  Mason ignored my question knowing whatever answers he makes will make the situation worse. He knows I am currently in the argumentative mood. I am getting fed up of Mason just looking at me. At this point we both stood up in the middle of the living room just staring at eachother. “Come on Mase.. did it feel good to hold her? To feel all over her body? To feel the warmness of that-“

“Fucking stop it Y/N!” Mason shouted interrupting me. “what will it take for all of this to go away Y/N?. Name it and I will do anything please, I will give you time if that’s what you need, I will get on my hands and knees and beg if that’s what you want please baby just don’t leave me. I need you”. I heard his voice break at the last sentence. All I want is to wrap him up and make everything okay, but I have to stay strong. I have to make myself remember what Mason did to me.

“Just give me some time okay Mase. I gotta go” I didn’t wait for Mason to reply. I grabbed my phone and keys off the side and made my way to the car and just drove. I had no idea where I was going but I just let the tears fall.

Mason’s POV

Its been 2 weeks since you left and I cannot breathe, I am an absolute mess. I cannot even bring myself to tell anyone we broke up, when my family asked why you not attending family lunch I just kept saying you are ill or working. I feel like if I tell people the truth then I have to admit to myself its real.

The only person that knows the truth is Declan I rang him that night that you left I was a mess and couldn’t contain myself. I loved you more then words could say and I made a mistake. As soon as a I blurted out everything that happened to Dec his reply was:

“I know mate”

“What do you mean you know?” I asked confused

“Come on, her and Lauren talk like everyday. Where do you think she has gone?” I feel my heart suddenly drop I am gutted that she went there, part of me hoped she would drive around for a couple of hours then come home but deep down I knew she wasn’t coming back.

“How is she?” I asked

“Uh not great mate. She is a mess. Just give her some time Mase. You never know she might come around.”

At that sentence my heart broke, I know I had to give you space. At least I know you are safe with our friends which is the main thing. A couple of days later I got a message from you it was only 9am but I was getting ready to leave for training “Are you at training today?” I felt the excitement in me, did you want to talk this out? Are you going to take me back? I quickly replied “Yeah I am at training until 5pm. Did you want to see me? I can try and get out early or I can meet you afterwards? Xxx” You didn’t reply to that message but after training I saw on the ring doorbell that you had been at the house. I quickly drove home hoping you were there, the house looked the same but you weren’t here. When I went to the bedroom I saw all of your things were gone. Its officially over. I sat on my bed and let the tears fall.

Its been 6 months since the breakup, I have tried to message you and call you but all was ignored. I even offered to buy you a flat so you could stay near your job but again nothing. I ask Lauren and Dec about you which they just keep it basic saying that you are doing well and your job is good. You stayed in Manchester which I am grateful for and I really hope that one day we will bump into each other. They don’t really give me anymore information telling me to move on. I wonder if you have moved on too.

Reader’s POV

I am excited for tonight, its Declan’s birthday and they are having a big party at a club. It’s the 1st time I have been out in the months. Work has been crazy I felt like I haven’t stopped in the months. To be honest I have thrown myself into work to not think about Mason. Even the thought of him makes me want to throw up, my heart melts at the thought of those eyes.

I am going to see him tonight so I need to be strong. At least I am not showing up alone, I have been dating this guy for a couple a weeks. Nothing serious just seeing how things are going, when I compare him to Mason there is no competition, Mason was perfect! But at the same time he broke my heart so maybe perfect isn’t perfect.

I am curling the last couple of strands of my hair when I hear a knock at my flat door, I quickly go to open it and see Danny standing there. Danny walks straight passed me and throws himself on the sofa in the living room without a word.

“Ugh I could so do with not going tonight!” I give him a sympathetic look.

“Sorry baby did you want a drink?” I ask “you know you don’t have to go tonight if you don’t want to”.

“Its okay I told my friends I would pop in it would be rude not to now” Its also Danny’s friends birthday and he is going to the same club which done us a favour as we can attend both events at once. Obviously Dec’s will probably be in a private area of the club but still at least Danny can see his friends.

Danny looks me up and down “are you seriously wearing that?” I look down at myself I am only wearing a simple black mini dress with my Louis Vuitton heals that’s Mason brought me years ago but they are my only nice heals.

I suddenly feel insecure “whats wrong with what I am wearing?”

“Nothing really just short.”

“I thought I looked nice.” I replied. Danny just looked me up and down again and didn’t say a word. Mason would never make me feel like that, he always made sure to pay me a compliment. I am usually insecure especially going to events like this with loads of pretty girls, and now I feel like shit. But I am not with Mason anymore so I get that thought out of my head and put my big girl pants on.

I am finishing getting ready when Danny stands in the doorway shouting at me “The taxi is here y/n for fuck sake hurry up”. I quickly run to the door and follow him out, as soon as we are in the taxi I can feel the coldness on my arms I definitely should of brought a coat.

As we walk into the club its very loud. I suddenly feel a rush of anxiety. I look around and Danny has already left my side and ran over to his mates. I roll my eyes at his sudden abandonment. I go to walk over to the bar when I see Paige and Rita. They are both WAGs who I got close to when me and Mason moved down. “Hey babes! I haven’t seen you in ages” Paige said and walks me over to the bar.

The rest of the night is amazing, I go over to speak to Declan and I am chatting away with everyone. I haven’t seen a lot of them since Mason and I broke up so it was nice to have a chat. I am stood at the bar going to order another drink when I feel a presence next to me. When I turn I see Mason has taken the space.

“What you drinking?” He asks. Damn it he looks fucking fit. I can feel butterflies in my stomach.

“Vodka lemonade please” I reply. Mason nods and orders 2 vodka lemonades

“So how have you been?” Mason asks he looks nervous as he keeps looking down, “you look incredible by the way” I can feel myself blushing and my heart pounding in my chest.

“Thank you Mase. You look good too. Hope you are doing well” I am so nervous I do not know what to say. We haven’t spoken a word since the break up.

“I have been alright I guess. Injuries have caught up so not great. Hard not having you around.” I give Mason a small smile. I have been watching his career and know about his injuries.

“I will always be your number one fan Mase” I give Mason a little wink and thank him for the drink and walk back to the girls.

The rest of the night all I can think about was that conversation. I can see Mason look over at me now and again everytime our eyes meet we smile and quickly look away. I am having a great night dancing away, I am quite tipsy with the amount of alcohol consumed. I am chatting away to Rita when I feel a tug on my wrist. “We are going home now!” Danny lowly shouts in my ear. He pulls me away from Rita so I am isolated. “My friends have left now and I am not sitting here with these people so lets go!”. I can tell Danny has had quite a lot to drink, his eyes are dark.

“I am not going yet, I haven’t seen these people in a long time so I want to stay for a little. I can meet you back at mine later if you want?”

Danny gives me a look whilst his grip tightens on my wrist “No you are coming with me! And we are leaving now!”

I have never seen Danny like this and its scaring me. “Danny please let me go you are scaring me”  I say trying to get my wrist free.

He tightens his grip and I can feel my wrist bruising, “we are leaving now” he repeats and starts trying to drag me out.

"Danny let the fuck go!” I shout as I try to pull my wrist again.

Next thing you know I feel a hand around my waist. “If I were you mate I would let her go” I turn to look at Mason and can see the anger in his eyes. Danny releases his grip on my wrist enough for my to pull my wrist away. I can feel the sting as the bruising has started. Danny squares up to Mason.

He then turns to me and looks me up and down “fuck you anyway y/n, you are dressed like an absolute slag anyway!” Mason goes to raise his hand which I quickly grab it and lower it back down before anyone sees. “He’s not worth it” I whisper into Mason’s ear. At that Danny walked away. Mason turns to me and inspects my wrist “are you okay?” he asks. I nod and quickly run out of the club embarrassed at the scene that Danny has just caused.

I feel the cold air hit me as I reach outside. Its freezing and I look at my phone it is 10pm so its pitch black. I can feel my heart start to calm down after that confrontation. I am just about to go inside due to not being able to feel my arms any longer due to the cold I see Mason approach in front of me. He quickly takes off his coat and puts it over my shoulders.

“Thank you for the coat and for inside” I can hear how nervous I sound.

“Its no worries. What are you doing with a prick like that anyway? I thought you had better taste?”

I giggle “well I thought I had better taste as well but hear we are. Apparently I go for cheaters or arseholes apparently.”

“Ouch” Mason says holding his heart and we both giggle.

“I mean it Mase thank you for what you did in there. I really appreciate”

“Don’t be silly I will always come to your rescue” he winks “don’t listen to him. You look fucking incredible y/n by the way. Don’t let him ruin your night.”

“Thank you. I am probably just going to make a move”

Mason looks disappointment “you leaving already? Come on I didn’t get a dance yet”

I cannot tell if Mason is just trying to cheer me up or trying to flirt “Dance? What you Mason Mount is going to dance with me? What you going to dance like this?” I reply doing his celebratory dance.

Mason laughs at my re-enactment. “Please just stay. Declan would be gutted if you left because of that prick”

I nod “I am doing it for Dec, not you tho Mount.”

“Your staying.. so I am taking that as a win”

Mason guides me back inside and takes the coat of my shoulder, he doesn’t leave my side the whole night. Getting me drinks, swaying with me to the music. We even share a little kiss, I can see Declan sniggering in the background.

I look at the time and see its nearing midnight and I can feel my legs hurting from the heals. I am holding onto Mason for balance at the moment. “I think I best get going” I say to Mason.

He looks down at me and places and strand of hair behind my ears “It is getting late, I am probably going to get going too. I will order us a taxi”.

“Mase I literally live in the complete opposite direction to town to you. I can get my own taxi honestly its fine”

We walk around and say our goodbyes to everyone and meet again in the middle as Mason leads me out the club and wraps his coat around me again.

“I wasn’t offering about the taxi I was telling. Its early hours of the morning and do you really think I am going to let you get a taxi on your own?” I nod knowing Mason isn’t going to give in. Mason asks me for my address.

“Shit” I say. Mason looks at me confused. “What you forgotten your address or something?” he laughs.

I roll my eyes at him. “No! I gave Danny a set of my keys as he was suppose to stay tonight. Fuck I really don’t want to go home in case he is there waiting for me. Um maybe take me to the nearest hotel and I will stay there for the night and then I can get the locks changed tomorrow”.

“Absolutely not! You got no clothes and are not staying in a hotel on your own.”

“What do you suggest then?” I shiver now really starting to feel the cold even with Mason’s coat wrapped around me.

“Maybe you can come back to mine? Not like that before you think anything but you can wear my clothes and at least you will be comfortable.”

I looked at Mason debating his offer. As much as I really don’t want to go to his house, the house we used to share together. I really do not want to go home and be confronted by Danny. I nodded accepting Mason’s offer.

The taxi ride was silent, we both sat there looking out the window. You could cut the tension with a knife. We both wanted to say something but at the same time we both couldn’t bring ourselves to say anything.

As we pull up the drive way, I can see Mason looking at me. I have been walking apprehensivly into the house as I take a slow stride. Mason walks straight in and throws his keys in the bowl and starts taking off his shoes. I am still stood in the doorway just looking around. “It hasn’t changed.” I commented.

“Of course not. Not much has changed since you left to be honest” I continue to walk around like the surroundings were new to me eventhough 6 months ago this was the place I called home. All the memories come flooding back of the last time we were stood there together or us shouting and fighting. The heartbreak that I felt. I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek. Mason quickly walks over to me and wipes the tear away. “Why you crying beautiful?” I try and give him a fake smile which I know he can see straight through.

“I don’t know. I think I am just drunk and tired you know” I try and put on a brave face.

“Come on Y/N you actually think I believe that?”

“Okay its just shit you know, we were so perfect and to think the last time we were stood here what happened. Its just so fucked you know”

“I know. Believe me I go through that fight every day in my head. My biggest mistake I ever made was letting you go. Everyone says it.”

I continue to look down, I have no words. Mason takes the coat from me and I feel a sudden hit of coldness again.

“You can have a shower if you want? You look frozen”

I nod my head as I follow Mason up the stairs. He passes me a set of towels. I am not sure where the confidence comes from. “Will you join me?” I ask. I can feel my heart beating waiting for his reply.

Mason nears closer to me “are you sure? I mean I am definitely up for that but are you sure you are?”

“Yeah I am shattered I would love for you to shower me right now”

Mason nods and starts stripping. I am trying my hardest not to watch but as he starts removing his shirt and I see those abs I can feel my mouth water. That’s when I realise I am standing there staring for too long as he is left in his boxers and I am still fully clothed.

“You kinda have to get undressed to go for a shower” Mason jokes

“Uh y-yeah of course” I stutter

I slowly take my dress of leaving me in my little black underwear set which Mason eyes are instantly on me. I quickly try and cover myself up feeling all of a sudden insecure.

“You know you don’t need to do it. I have seen you naked like a thousand times. Besides you have the most sexiest body in the world” I quickly relax at Mason’s comment he always knew how to make me feel good about myself.

I make my way to the bathroom and start the shower. Mason comes in with a hair clip. I look at him confused. “You left the clip here and I just couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I know you don’t like getting your hair wet when its not ‘hair wash day’” He used his fingers to empathises the ‘hair way day’ which I giggle at him remembering the memory. I thanked him and wrapped my hair into the clip.

I strip out of my underwear and get under the water, the hot water hitting my cold skin is like ecstasy. Mason then opens the door to join me, we stand a metre apart just staring at eachother both not knowing how to act. He grabs the body wash from the side and slowly lathers it into my body, the feeling of his hands on my body is unexplainable. Its like all I ever need.

I stand relaxing into his touch as we continue in the shower. “You can go get dry and I will finish showering?” Mason offers. I quickly wrap the towel around my body and make my way back into the bedroom. I open Mason’s draws and quickly pull a pair of his boxers and t-shirts and quickly put it on.

I go back into the bathroom to wash my face “I have never known someone to look so fit in a pair of mens boxers you know” I blush at Mason and continue to wash my face. Mason comes up behind me, the specks of water trailing down his chest with the towel wrapped around his abdomen. He turns me around facing him, I can feel his breathe on my neck which is giving me goosebumps.

“I really hate you for you did to me. How you broke my heart”

Mason pulls me closer so we are chest to chest “I really hate how you turned up to my bestfriends birthday with some dickhead”.

“I guess we both made mistakes.” I commented. Mason nods and hums to my comment. I can see him look between my lips and my eyes. I do the same. I feel myself wrap my arms around Mason’s neck to bring him closer. Mason places one hand on my waist and the other on the sink trapping me between him and the sink. I feel him slowly lower his lips to mine, it’s a soft patient kiss. He pulls aways and waits for my reaction. All I know in this moment is that I need him.

I pull Mason closer and continue the kiss but this time with passion and urgency. I use one of my hands through his hair as I grab it as a way of a controlling the kiss. I hear him moan into the kiss as a response. I can feel his tongue darting around my lips attempting to get access which I allow, we deepen the kiss and he places his hands on my bum as he pushes himself closer into me and I can feel his bulge growing under the towel.

He slowly starts removing the boxers which he looks me in the eye to make sure I am okay. At this moment I am not stopping him, I am not thinking all I want is him. Once the boxers are removed he grabs me again and continues the kiss this time he is the one dominating the kiss. He quickly picks me up and places me on the bathroom side. Mason spreads my legs and stands inbetween them with his lips attached back to mine. He has one hand on my face controlling the kiss and the one hand under the tshirt exploring my body. I can feel the way his hand is caressing my boob as I feel his finger slip over my nipple causing me to moan. I can feel his dick starting to harden. I take the towel off of his hips and let his dick spring up. I reach down between us and wipe the precum of the top of his dick with my thumb and wipe it down the shaft as I start to make steady movements.

Mason puts his head back at my actions “fuck y/n that feels incredible” it is urging me on more. I can feel myself get wet at the sight of Mason feeling pleasure. Mason quickly grabs my hand to steady my movements. I let go and look at Mason confused as if I have done something wrong.

Mason is quick to reassure me “Its not you its just that I haven’t felt your hands in a long time and I am really close. You are way too good at that and I really want to cum inside you” I giggle at how innocent Mason sounds.

I start kissing Mason’s neck and giving it a small suck probably leaving a hickey I then whisper in his ear trying my best to be seductive “well why don’t you cum inside me then” Mason brings my head up so we are eye level and I can see the lust in his eyes. He shakes his head “No baby I wanna taste you first”.

I feel my heart skip a beat as Mason pulls away and gets on his knees in front of the sink where I am sat. He opens my legs wide and makes small kisses to my thighs slowly working his way to my centre. I can feel myself getting wetter at the anticipation. Mason tongue then darts across my centre and a moan of his name escapes my lips. I can feel Mason smile into me. He continues to lick my centre and then I can feel him teasing my clit with his tongue, he always knew how to make me feel good. “Uh Mase please” I beg. He stops and looks me up into the eyes and I can feel my heart melt. He gives me such a cocky smile, he knows how good he makes me feel. He sucks on two of his fingers and slowly inserts them into me which I have to take a sharp breathe at the sudden impact inside of me. Mason then returns his tongue to my clit working his magic. Its only taking a couple of minutes before I am nearing my high. I put my hands straight through his hair pulling myself closer to him needing his touch, that’s all I can focus on right now. Mason breathes onto me “Come on baby be a good girl and cum for me” at his words I am trembling as I unravel with my orgasm.

Mason stands straight up inbetween my legs attaching his lips to me, I can taste my cum on his lips, Mason picks me up and walks me over to the bed. As he is carrying me I take this opportunity to take the top off that I am wearing. Mason mouth goes straight to my nipple sucking it, which I cannot hold in the moan that escapes me. Mason throws me onto the bed “I could hear your moans all day. I love that sound”  Mason says as he crawls over the top of me. He separates my legs with his ensuring he is inbetween mine. Mason continues to kiss me as he grinds himself down which I can feel his dick throbbing inbetween us.

I start kissing and nibbling Mason’s neck which I can feel the hickey I am leaving behind “Uh y/n/n that feels amazing.” This fuels me on more as I make sure to keep grinding my hips back into Mason’s, and I can tell I am driving him insane. Mason pulls away. “I gotta put it inside you. I need to feel that pussy” I give Mason a smile in agreement knowing I need him just as much right now. He goes to line himself up with me but then stops and looks at me.

“Are you still on the pill? I am um don’t have any you know here” I give Mason a little giggle at how embarrassed he sounds about it. “Oh wow the famous Mason Mount has no condoms in his house! Bloody hell what have you been upto to have run out of condoms?”  I tease Mason “but yes I am still on the pill but at the same time how many girls have you been sleeping with cause I really do not want to be catching anything?” I am have now pushed myself up with my arms so I am now sitting up and Mason is now sitting on his knees in front of me, his dick still as hard as ever though.

“Honestly I have only slept with 2 girls and both times I used protection so I know I am clean but I could ask you the same question cause Danny the prick looks like he has been around” Mason jokes.

I roll my eyes but take a deep breath as a response ��I haven’t slept with anyone, I haven’t actually slept with Danny. We have done stuff but not actually fucked. I have been totally celibate since we broke up.” Mason looks at me shocked.

“Wait hold on you haven’t slept with anyone. Not even that Danny damn” I can tell that has majorly increased Mason’s ego knowing no one else has actually be inside me since we broke up. I quickly speak up not wanting to increase his ego more. “Will you just fuck me Mason. I need you inside me now!” Mason quickly climbs back onto of me straight away and gives me a passionate kiss in return. He gives himself a couple of pumps and then lines himself up with me.

He gives it a couple of seconds and lets me adjust to his size, I can feel my walls tighten against him. “You can move Mase” I say and Mason doesn’t waste any time getting into a rhythm. I continue to moan Mason’s name, his cock is something else and I can feel myself edging towards my orgasm.

Mason looks me in the eyes as he continues his rhythm “I am sorry baby girl but I need to ruin you right now” I can see the lust in his eyes. He grabs one of my legs and puts it over his shoulder and does the same with the other. He then grabs the back of my thighs and starts pounding into me. The new position has made his dick go further inside me.  I can feel Mason’s rhythm has started to get sloppy as I can feel him nearing his orgasm. “Have you got another one in there for my baby?” I moan in response but then Mason reaches down to play with my clit to help me edge closer, Mason then hits that sweet spot and I am seeing stars as I grab onto the duvet as I let myself go. Mason then cums alongside me, he moans into my neck as I can feel him unload inside me. Mason then slowly pulls out as we are both sensitive and flops to the side.

“Damn I missed our sex” Mason says trying to catch his breath from our recent activity. “Well if we are being honest I miss everything about you. I am really sorry y/n”. I can feel a lump in my throat suddenly all the feelings from that day come back. “Lets not say anything else lets just enjoy that moment”. I get out of bed to clean up which Mason joins me and I throw on his tshirt and a pair of his boxers. Mason passes me a glass of water and some pain killers saying “you have had a lot to drink so you will thank me in the morning” and we climb into bed.

Mason lays on his back and opens his arms which I come and join and lay on his chest. I can feel his hand on my back as his other hand is being used to play with my hair. I can feel myself start to drift off to sleep. There is so much I want to say but right now in this moment in time the world has stopped spinning and I am just going to let myself enjoy this moment with Mason. All of the other relationship life stuff can wait until tomorrow.

[typicalopposite]

tongue tied

thank you @nine-one-wanton for the title 😂🫶

BuckTommy | E (eh.. maybe M+) | 4859 words

also on ao3!

Mortification… 

That still isn’t a strong enough emotion to describe what Buck is feeling at the moment. 

He glances down at Tommy and asks if he’s still okay. All Tommy can do is blink in response; once for yes, twice for no. Pretty much any movement causes them both pain… and the humiliation is bad enough without them being overly sore as well. 

Tommy slides a gentle hand over Bucks thigh, doing his best to smile up at him. He inhales deeply through his nose and blows it back out, adjusting how he’s sitting on his legs, having to keep himself up high enough so he doesn't accidentally tug on the rings— tangled together and seemingly inseparable. 

There’s a knock at the loft’s door, and Buck hears Bobby’s voice yell out to him. He looks down at Tommy and sighs. 

This was definitely not how the team was supposed to learn they made up.

****

(Two months earlier) 

Tommy sat in a small chair, waiting his turn at the tattoo and piercing parlor. It had been years since Tommy had worn his little hoop earrings in his ears. Yet when he pushed the curved bar through the hole— thinking maybe they would be closed up and he’d have to force them— they just slipped right in. 

He considered getting a second hole, maybe. A nose ring. A belly button ring… 

Was he being dramatic— I want to feel something beyond the heartache I have caused for myself… so I’m going to go have a needle jabbed through some part of my body— maybe… He would agree, too, that maybe it was a little juvenile… a little petty even, to ultimately settle on a piercing Ev- no… Buck had shown so much interest in. He’d talked about having blowjobs from girls with tongue rings in his “Buck 1.0 days” (whatever that means); he said they were amazing. 

So now Tommy would have one, too… and he could give whoever the next guy he hooked up with amazing blow jobs. Take that memory of Buck that just wouldn’t leave! (in reality he knew he was fooling himself… He doubted there would ever be a next guy for him… Buck, however, would probably be getting plenty of better head from people way better than Tommy— whose knees don’t creak and ache after just a few short minutes on them, and who’s jaw hadn’t been shattered and wired shut in his teens so he can only hold it open for so long before it locks up.) 

He huffed angrily at the thought of someone else with Buck’s— with Evan's dick sitting heavy on their tongue; thrusting in and out, hitting the back of their throat. Someone else swallowing down every drop of his—

“Sir…” the receptionist said, thankfully interrupting his train of thought before he snapped his phone in half. “You’re up.” Tommy cleared his throat and thanked her, rubbing a hand over the heat climbing up his neck from embarrassment. 

He plopped down on the client chair and told the piercer what he wanted. He opted for the clear bar, and he had taken a (much needed) week off work; hopefully it would be healed by then. The woman gave him the instructions: sit up straight, stick out your tongue, please don’t try to grab my wrist. “People do that?” Tommy asked, around the clamp on his tongue, and she gave him an exhausted look. Sorry… he thought but didn’t say. 

He stuck his tongue out at himself in the bathroom mirror that night. It was swollen and very sore— it definitely didn’t make him feel better, but hey he’d always wanted to do something drastic. A tongue ring at forty counted… right? Yeah, it counted. He cleaned the piercing and went to bed. 

****

(One month earlier)

Buck wasn’t sure if this was just some Buck 1.0.2 phase or a very emotional based impulsive (probably stupid) decision resulting from his still broken heart. 

Still he was already there and had already put a deposit down; he might as well, right? 

He had come to the parlor alone, because… well, what would anyone he knows say about him doing something like this. Maybe if it was something simple like an ear piercing… or hell, even a tongue piercing. But this— this was not something his pseudo siblings or father figure would be on board tagging along to. Eddie was in El Paso… and he definitely wasn’t about to ask Maddie along.

The receptionist smiled at him, had him sign in, and told him to take a seat. 

He was early… Perhaps that had been a bad idea. His knee began to bounce and he fiddled with his fingers anxiously, staring around the parlor at the other clients ahead of him. Some laid back in the chairs getting tattooed— he should have just gotten another tattoo; what was he thinking— others getting any and every part of their body pierced. Most people were quiet. One lady in the back let out a scream so blood curdling Buck was about to get up and leave but—

“Sir! You're up!” 

Buck followed the piercer into one of the private rooms. The man was quiet and looked like he might bite Buck’s head off if given the chance. He instructed Buck to lower his pants, his boxers, and sit down on the pad covered seat. He did as he was told, and the seat was tilted back, putting him on full display thanks to the cold room. Why was he even doing this? Just because Tommy had said some guy he talked to before they even knew each other said he might get one? Was Buck really that shallow— that jealous?! 

“Alright, man… here we go.”

This was a bad idea. 

This was a bad idea.. 

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING!?! 

This was so stupid! So bad! Such an impulsive idea! 

“And done!” 

Buck blinked once… twice… and looked down towards where the man was already slipping his gloves off. He pulled his dick up towards his stomach so he could see the little silver hoop hooked through his frenulum. “Oh,” he said, thanked the guy, paid and went home. 

****

(Two days earlier) 

Tommy played with the flat top of his tongue ring; he slid it back and forth over his teeth, he pushed the bar out enough to bite down on, all while he tapped on his steering wheel to the beat of a song playing on the radio. He was nervous. 

And the thing was… he shouldn’t be. 

He was a big brave grown man— capable of doing big brave grown man things… like to have drinks with an ex, whom he’s very much not over. He would be fine. 

Except the only spot available was directly beside the Jeep. 

“Fucking mother fucker.” Tommy grumbled out loud and turned into the spot hoping that maybe he wouldn’t be— 

He was still sitting in the driver seat. 

Cock sucking, bitch ass… What kind of god damned luck?!? How could he come to his senses about the meeting and run away now? 

He sighed and put the truck in park, then turned to look at him. It was the very first time he’d laid eyes on the man— beyond the pictures and videos he couldn’t bring himself to delete from his phone— since he walked out of the loft. 

Evan.

Or… Buck, since he’d decided to go that route and really drive the break up home. 

“H- Hey…” Buck said as soon as the both were out of their vehicles. “Thanks for — for the invite.” 

Tommy stuffed his hand down in his pockets, and chewed on the flat top to his tongue ring. “Of course,” he finally said. “I, uh… I felt like we really needed to talk about…”

“Everything?” Buck finished. 

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded along. “Everything.” 

“Okay… well for starters—” Buck wasted no time jumping right in. “Don’t ever call me Buck again.” He stared at Tommy so seriously before his lips twitched up a bit and he added, “please.”

“Noted,” Tommy said and there was a pause like he was waiting for— “Evan…” Tommy added and Evan fully smiled at that; he seemed relieved. “Okay, what else.” 

Evan stepped towards him. Tommy had the slightest urge to step back, but even more of one to move closer— to reach out and grab him and cling like his life depended on it. Evan reached for him first. “Don’t ever make a decision like that for me again.” Tommy waited, his eyes searching Evan’s… trying to say without saying how sorry he was. Finally Evan leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Tommy’s. “If I had needed more time to figure myself out… if I wasn’t sure about this— that you were what I wanted. I wouldn’t have just strung you along until I did… okay?” 

“Okay.” Tommy wanted to say more. He thought, maybe, he should say more… but his voice was lodged somewhere deep in his throat and all he could focus on was how his lips were tingling from that kiss. Evan, like a damn mind reader, took the moment to lean back in, deepening the kiss and wasting no time slipping his tongue into Tommy’s mouth. He noticed almost immediately. 

“You got a tongue piercing?!” 

“I— uh, yeah…” 

Evan’s eyes lit up mischievously… his breathing hitches then speeds up… he leaned in for another kiss.

****

(One hour earlier)

Buck had been very mature about the fact Tommy now had a tongue ring. In fact… he was so mature about it, that he didn’t suggest they forget the drinks, and their plans to actually talk like level headed adults do… In fact, after just one more kiss— one more quick swipe of his tongue over the flat top of the bar— he pulled away from Tommy completely; minus their hands, which Evan promptly laced together as they walked into the bar. 

And they talked. 

They actually talked.

They opened up— more than he’d expected them to.

They cried. They laughed. They left a few hours later and were officially back together.

Buck remained mature, and didn’t offer (beg, plead, or bargain) to follow Tommy back to his place, or bring him back to the loft. He allowed the night to end with them parting ways, but with the promise there would be a next time— and plenty of times after that—  So Buck was fine with going home alone. 

But when Tommy arrived at the loft, a bottle of wine in hand, his curls styled nicely, and wearing the cologne that he knew Buck loved… the maturity went out the window. He tugged him in by the collar and crashed their lips together. Buck had asked him to put a regular bar in, one with the bigger metal ball. Tommy had laughed and made a bitchy little joke but as Buck’s tongue passed over the piercing he let his lips curl up into a pleased smirk to find Tommy had done as he’d asked. 

They wasted no time; Tommy’s fingers ran along the hem of Buck’s shirt while Buck hurriedly pushed Tommy’s button-down off of his shoulders. “There’s something you should know…” Buck says as they nearly tripped over each other getting up the stairs, pieces of their outfits falling off every couple steps. He leans in close to Tommy’s ear and whispers, “I got something pierced too…” then he falls back onto the bed, pants and boxers already gone and his cock standing straight up like it’s showing it’s new accessory off. 

Tommy’s eyes widen. His brows fly all the way up to his hairline. He crawls onto the bed and takes Buck in his hand, tilting him back to look at the piercing better. “It’s healed, right?” Buck nearly gives himself whiplash nodding. Tommy leans in and flicks the tip of his tongue over the hoop— over the little piece of skin it’s going through— and Buck sucks in a sharp breath. “Good?” Tommy asks. 

“Amazing!” 

“Okay, great…” Tommy says, then goes back to licking at the piercing and around the head, and down the shaft. All the while Buck is moaning and squirming. It shouldn’t be so over-stimulative but it’s been so long… he hasn’t— not like this— not since Tommy. “Missed you; missed this…” Tommy says between licking down Buck’s cock and sucking the tip into his mouth, which only seems to make it so much more sensitive. 

Buck’s toes curl as Tommy takes him all the way down. And, God, how he has missed that. Buck whimpers and lets his hands move up into Tommy’s curls; messing them up, sure, but he doesn’t care. Tommy bobs his head, making sure to flatten his tongue and let the ball rub over Buck with every slide down and back up, and it feels just as amazing as Buck remembered— it feels even better, actually. 

Tommy moves Buck’s legs further apart so he can settle on the bed more. He flicks his eyes up to meet Buck’s and smiles around his cock, lining himself up so the ball goes over the hoop. It’s— well it’s mind blowing…

…at first. 

Tommy gets a little too into it. 

Probably due to the completely wanton noises pouring out of Buck’s mouth. He slides down all the way to the bottom, presses his tongue against the underside so the ball is pressed into the tender skin and starts to slide back up. He reaches the hoop… and somehow the ball just pops through it. 

Buck thinks he’s really just thankful Tommy caught the mishap immediately… without trying to pull off— so fucking thankful. 

“Uhh…” is all Tommy can manage. He holds himself up with one arm and brings the other up to try to get a finger in his mouth, to the where they are quite literally linked together. He can’t. 

And just like that… Buck’s pride in his size disappears. 

****

Tommy tries to move his tongue, ever so gently so he doesn't tug at the ring, but it’s useless. He wants to cry. He looks up at Evan… who is looking down at him… and looks terrified, and he can’t shake his head so he just sighs. “You have got to be joking… Tommy, what do we do?!” 

Tommy knows what they have to do… and he knows Evan knows what they have to do. 

“We can’t! Tommy, Maddie is at work! What if she takes the call?” He waits for a second like he’s expecting Tommy to answer, he can only blink back. “A- And I’m in the 118’s district… oh my god…” Now Evan looks ready to cry, and Tommy can’t even properly hold him about it. He runs his hand up Evan’s side, hoping it does something to soothe him. “Maybe if… if I can just get soft…” he suggests. Tommy shrugs, he doubts it but he doesn’t blame Evan for not wanting to call… this absolute disaster… in. 

So they wait. 

And wait.

And wait…

Drool starts to pool in Tommy’s mouth and he tries to swallow it as carefully as he can. His throat spasms, and Evan hisses, and Tommy makes a wounded noise by means of apologizing. To make matters worse, not that Evan’s erection had gone down much sitting in Tommy’s mouth… but the tightening of his throat from swallowing definitely didn’t help. They are doomed, he fears.

He looks up at Evan and tries to lighten the mood with a smile, and Evan manages to smile back, before dropping his head to his pillow and letting out a pitiful sob. 

Tommy knows they can’t sit here forever. He taps Evan’s leg and points to Evan’s pants that are the closest to the bed. Carefully they shimmy together, over to the edge, until Tommy slides off the bed, stretching out his leg to pull the pants over to him. He sits himself on his legs and pulls out the phone. Evan still seems hesitant so Tommy grunts around him and puts the phone in his hand. 

“Okay, fine.” 

Thank you, Tommy thinks and sighs. He slowly moves his tongue, still trying to find a way to pop the ball back through the hoop, but it’s just no use. He brings an arm up and uses it to prop up his head, and listens as Evan types in the dreaded numbers. 

He puts it on speaker and rests his body back on his free arm. “9-1-1 what is the location of your emergency…” Tommy watches Evan inhale deep and let out a long drawn out sigh. He gives his address, and immediately the dispatcher gasps. “Buck?” 

“Hey Josh…” 

****

“What's going on, are you okay?” Josh asks, eyes flicking up to look at Maddie who is in the middle of her own call and hasn’t yet heard her brother's name. 

“Well… define okay.” 

“Do you need medical assistance? I can send your team—”

“No!” Josh’s mouth snaps shut at the urgency in Buck’s voice. “Not— Not them… and Josh… please don’t tell Maddie you’re talking to me.” 

Josh glances back up at Maddie, and sighs. “Okay…” he says slowly; quizzically. “So what’s going on?” 

“Me and Tommy are stuck… together.” Josh waits for more, but his first panicked thought is that there has been some accident at Buck’s loft. 

“A- Are you— either of you hurt?” 

“Not… exactly. Just stuck.” 

“Like… in the elevator?” Josh pries, since Buck is giving him very little information. 

“I wish…” Buck groans, and Josh hears a muffled snort. “No, we're inside my apartment.” 

Josh tries to run through where they could be stuck in the small loft… He comes up with nothing, And Buck has gone silent. “Okay, look… I have no idea what’s going on, or how to help you, so I’m going to need you to give me a little more details beyond just ‘We’re stuck’.” 

Nothing— Nothing!!— could have prepared Josh for what Buck just blurts out next. 

“Tommy’s tongue ring is stuck through my dick ring…” 

Of course that’s the moment Maddie decides to look up at him. Her brows furrow and she mouths what’s wrong? Josh is pretty sure he resembles a deer in headlights, and he might have forgotten how to speak beyond a startled, “Oh…”

There’s a pause and Buck speedruns Josh through a quick explanation of what has happened, that Josh can only mmhmm back too, biting his lips between his teeth to stop them from curling upward and trying to figure out exactly how to word this in the notes to whoever he sends to… help. (33 and 40 year old males. No serious injuries. Unable to come to the door… prepare to be scandalized— he doesn’t add that last part)

Maddie is still just staring at him with a progressively getting more worried look. Finally she takes her earpiece off and starts towards him. Shit… he thinks, then quickly sends the 133 with a final note that an ambulance will possibly be needed. “What’s going on, Josh…” Maddie asks, looking at his screen. She immediately recognizes Buck’s address, gasps and grabs Josh's earpiece. “Buck?! Buck, are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

Josh watches the voice recorder from the call and it doesn’t move. “M- Maddie listen…” he tries, and reaches for the earpiece back; Maddie slaps his hand in return. 

Her eyes frantically move over the screen, furrowing as she tries to decipher what the notes could mean. She comes to the unit responding, and scoffs. “Why would you send the 133, Josh… the 118 is closer!” And Josh can do no more than run a hand down his face, and continue to bite back the laugh that has been threatening to break free since Buck explained the actual situation. “Buck I’m sending the 118 to you… everything’s going to be okay.” Her mouth pulls down into a worried frown. “Are you there? Can you please say something…” 

****

“Th- Thanks Mads…” is all Buck can think to say. 

Tommy’s eyes widen, and he finds Buck's hand to hold it. 

“What’s going on…” Maddie continues to press. “Is— is Tommy with you? Is he hurt? Buck, do I need to go there?”

“Please, no!” Buck cries out. “I’m… fine. It’s fine. We’re— we’re fine. R- Right Tommy?” He squeezes his eyes shut realizing Tommy can’t agree. 

He does manage a garbled “Uh huh,” though… (To which Buck hears Josh snort then quickly clear his throat.) 

“I, uh… I’m gonna hang up now…” Buck says, then before Madie can say anything he adds, “I swear I’m— we’re really okay. I promise.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I— I’m sure…” he tells her, hangs up and throws his head back with a loud groan. Tommy sighs around him and moves the hand propping up his head and rubs at his jaw, reminding Buck of the reason Tommy never drags out his blowjobs. “Fuck! Tommy your jaw,” he says, and moves Tommy’s hand to rub over the spot himself. “A- and your knees have to be killing you!” Tommy shrugs and leans his face into Buck’s hand. “Is this at least helping,” he asks; Tommy cocks a brow, and his lips curl up into a smirk. “Oh my god… blink once for yes twice for no,” he groans, laughing only when Tommy blinks once. 

Which brings them back to the present. Bobby yells that they are coming in and the only silver lining is that Bobby has a key so they don’t have to break his door in. Something taps Buck’s leg and it’s his phone that Tommy has typed up a message on. 

pocket knife. cut off my tongue. I’ll go out the window.

That startles a laugh out of Buck… which is immediately followed by a pained hiss from them both. The front door opens and Buck groans. “Up here…” he says, and they both listen as the entire team— hell it sounds like the entire station— files in. 

Tommy whimpers when Chimney calls out, jokingly asking if Buck’s decent, and grabs the blanket to pull over his head. 

“Alright Buck what’s… going… on…” Bobby says, first to get up the stairs— his worried look melts away and is replaced by something akin to absolute horror, which Buck 100% gets. 

“What on earth…” Hen gawks as she comes up behind Bobby. 

Buck feels like his face is about to catch on fire, and Tommy hasn’t moved since covering his head— so he has either convinced himself if he doesn’t move they can’t see him… or he has died. 

“Is that Tommy?!” Chimney blurts out, looking around Hen and Bobby, who both slowly turn and look back at him.

Chimney shrugs. “What? I can appreciate nice features without it meaning anything, thank you very much.” He moves past her and gestures at Tommy’s backside. “And when you got it you got it…” Tommy makes a choked off noise— so, at least that means he’s not dead… 

“Wait so is it really Tommy?” Ravi calls from the bottom of the stairs. Buck doesn’t answer… which is enough of an answer in and of itself. 

Bobby turns back to Buck, rolling his eyes at the others. He sighs. “Okay, what exactly is going on here, Buck.” 

Before he can even think up a decent answer, Tommy twitches, stiffens and then pulls his hand up to scratch at his nose. He grunts, and takes a deep breath, and Buck watches in horror as it finally clicks what exactly Tommy is doing under the blanket. “This has got to be a prank,” Hen says, pulling off her glasses and covering her eyes. “Buck… tell me this is a prank.” 

Tommy continues to squirm and finally while holding his nose to suppress it, he sneezes. Buck yelps and Tommy mumbles incoherent apologies. The loft falls completely quiet; all eyes are now on him, waiting for an explanation. 

His phone rings first, and he expects it to be Maddie… but it’s Eddie— and he doesn’t need to deal with that— so he sends it to voicemail. 

Then Tommy’s phone starts to vibrate down stairs. “Ignore it,” Buck instructs when Ravi asks if he wants it brought up to them. 

About a second after it stops, Chimney's phone rings and he answers without hesitation, putting it on FaceTime.

“Oh… oh my god!” Eddie gasps. “You two didn’t…” he sounds like he’s crying and sucks in a breath. “You two idiots didn’t… did you?!” Buck glares at Chimney, but he is unfazed, turning the camera for Eddie to see them. “You did!” 

“I’m so lost,” Chimney says, looking at Bobby.

Hen is still covering her face and shaking her head. 

“These two—”

“Eddie…” Buck pleads— but really… What's the use in hiding details? “Whatever…” he groans and turns his eyes to the ceiling, and Eddie shares what he knows.

And apparently, he knows everything. 

So Buck wasn’t the only one who went to Eddie about his impulse body modification. Tommy had told him too— he texted Eddie after learning of his move to El Paso, and it just slid its way into the conversation. 

“How did you even find out about this?” Buck groans.

“Josh told me.” 

“Oh, but he couldn’t tell us so we knew what we were about to walk in on…” Hen says bitterly. 

“And since when do you and Josh talk?” Buck adds. 

“That is my business,” Eddie quips back. “You all  have fun with… yours.” He wiggles his fingers at them, laughs again, and ends the call. 

Chimney and Hen give each other strained looks, both clearly trying to hold it together. Bobby takes a deep breath, resting his hands on his hips and stares down at Buck. “Okay well we— we need to get you two… separated—” His lips tremble and he tries to stop the laugh but it bubbles out anyway. That's all the motive Hen and Chimney need to both double over. Even Ravi is laughing down stairs. 

Tommy makes a pained noise and Buck knows he has to be hurting from sitting like this for so long. “Yeah, yeah… laugh it up. Can we please figure out how to actually do that?” 

“Well we have to see what we’re dealing with first,” Hen says, grabbing the blanket without warning and lifting it up. “Oh my god…” she nearly chokes, and has to walk down stairs to compose herself. 

Yeah mortification was definitely not a strong enough word. 

It only takes the team five minutes to get them separated— Buck is sure it will take a lifetime to live it down. 

****

“Are you sure you don’t want to go in and get checked out?” Bobby asks; Tommy just shakes his head and puts his hand over Evan’s, where he is holding a frozen bag of peas against his jaw. “Alright,” he gives them both a smile— it looks more uncomfortable than when he was given the medal of valor at the ceremony. “You, uh— you two…” he looks between Tommy and Evan. “Well, I’m glad you… worked things out.” 

“That’s one way to describe what happened here tonight,” Chimney says, smiling smugly at the both of them.

Hen comes up beside Tommy and lays a hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say you can definitely keep up.” Tommy slowly lifts his eyes to her and she can’t hold back the laughter. “Maybe a little too well— you might wanna slow down actually.” 

“Uhm, what— what does that mean?” Evan leans in and asks; again… Tommy just shakes his head. 

Ravi hands Evan the little baggie the two rings were put in once they were removed. He doesn’t say anything, and just leaves. He pulls the door shut behind him, and then they are left alone, embarrassed, and sore in their respective affected areas. 

Evan holds the bag up and sighs. “That was… something.” 

“Yeah…” Tommy laughs, finally feeling like he can move his jaw again without it popping. “Next time, maybe we don’t go with the ball and hoop combo. 

“N- Next time?” Evan furrows his brow but his lips are already curling up at the corners. 

Tommy shrugs and grabs Evan’s hand pulling it to his lips. “If I have learned anything lately… it’s the importance of giving things another chance…” 

Evan’s smile widens. “Wow. That was— just wow...” he laughs and pulls Tommy into a kiss; he winces when just the slight movement hurts. “I’m sorry about your jaw, and your knees.” 

“I’m sorry about your… frenulum,” Tommy replies and Evan snorts. “Now I can’t finish what I started…” 

They both pout at that… for just a moment. “Yeah, b- but… my jaw doesn’t hurt,” Evan says with a suggestive smirk. “And your dick doesn’t hurt…” He bites his lip and tugs on Tommy’s hand to stand him up.

“This is true…” Tommy states. 

“So maybe we can finish what we started after all…” Evan leans in and brushes his lips over Tommy’s then turns and heads for the stairs, Tommy right behind him, and the silver hoop and tongue ring left behind on the table for next time. 

[and-it-freezes-me]

There are something like 30 Harvest Moon games, starting in 1996 with 'Harvest Moon' (not including the Story of Seasons games, which themselves include the remakes of Friends of Mineral Town etc that have come out more recently) (the split between the owners of the Harvest Moon name and the developers / owners of the game style in 2014ish resulting in the latest Harvest Moon games like ANB and LV vs the Story of Seasons franchise is so interesting) where was I going with this sentence

Oh yeah

The Harvest Moon games have been inspiring more of themselves since before the turn of the century - with programming and game development being more widely available, it makes sense that we'd see a lot more games inspired by them and that the farming sim genre has exploded.

Stardew Valley was and is a fantastic game and expanded upon and added to the mechanics of the old Harvest Moon games, and was - again, off the top of my head - the first big game like this to be released on PC. Harvest Moon and SoS were both Nintendo series - Gameboy, Gameboy Advance, DS, 3Ds. It's only been in recent years that the SoS franchise has moved to PC. AND it was the first big farming sim to allow equal access to the marriage candidates irrespective of the player character's gender* which is huge!

So a lot of people / PC gamers see Stardew Valley as the parent of all the modern farming sims, and it's probably** true that a lot of them take a lot of inspiration from SDV.

But SDV itself probably** took a lot of inspiration from Harvest Moon, which is arguably the parent of the farming sim genre as we see it today.

** I say probably, because I haven't gone into deep research on the origin of the concept, and I could be convinced that the devs of SDV had never heard of HM and came up with farming sims on their own, I just find it fairly unlikely.

* Okay so, in 2005 Harvest Moon: Magical Melody came out, and there was a marriage candidate named Jamie. Jamie's pronouns would always be the standard opposite of whichever gender the player character was, to ensure that they were always a 'valid' marriage candidate. Although the pronoun switch happens only in the metagame and you won't see it in a single playthrough, Jamie could be considered a genderfluid character. As far as I'm aware, no similar character reoccurred in later games.

Additionally, also in 2005, Harvest Moon DS Cute came out - a 'remake' of Harvest Moon DS that fixed a handful of glitches, added a special bachelor (Skye), added some cosmetic features, and in which the player character was a girl (you played as a boy in HMDS). Being a gender swap in 2005, obviously all the bachelourettes were off-limits and you married their bachelors instead - BUT. Here it is.

HMDS had four special bachelorettes: The Harvest Goddess, The Witch Princess, Leia the Mermaid, and the princess sleeping in the mine (I forget her name). And because they were such important characters with interesting stories and key to the valley, they couldn't just remove them, and it would be such a shame if they had to throw out their stories. So HMDSCute implemented the Best Friend system: you could do the same romances with those four woman, see all their heart events, then move in with them and adopt a child. Platonically, of course, this was 2005. But it was the exact same system as marrying any of the bachelors, and was therefore lesbianism in a 2005 farming sim by a Japanese company.

I've entirely forgotten where this reblog stared.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, newer farming simulator/ agriculture/ cozy games AREN’T stardew valley knock offs, if anything they’re harvest moon knock offs but atp in the big year of 2025 we should be considering that maybe it’s a genre???

[hauntedhokage]

Anticipation

Itoshi Rin/F!Reader

rating: explicit

summary: you’re cat sitting for Rin while he’s away, the distance between you encouraging you to ask for help with more intimate matters.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: phone sex

Requested!

“Your cat is an asshole.”

Your comment makes Rin snort, a rare amused sound leaving the stoic striker.

“He likes you more than me.”

“I doubt it.”

This time it’s a thoughtful hum that leaves him, your best friend clearly considering how he would try to convince you that his cat did actually like you. But instead he tells you that the fluffy menace was only your problem for a couple more days, then you were no longer at risk of having your feet swiped at from under various pieces of furniture in his apartment.

“It’ll be nice to have you back for the mid season break,” you comment, making your way to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Time zones had been tricky for his daily check ins, his practices rubbing late had him calling and leaving voicemails while you were asleep. This was the first time in about a week that you’d actually spoken to him, and that was only because you were staying up late to get to do that.

“Yeah, save you from my asshole cat.”

“We can have a movie night or something,” you suggest, getting comfortable in his bed that has become yours while he was gone. The sheets still smelled like him despite his absence, and you weren’t going to deny how nice it was to be surrounded by his scent. “A lot of good ones streaming now.”

“That’d be fine. What are you doing right now, I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I want to talk to you,” you start, settling into the pillows while eyeing the vibrator charging on his nightstand. “Just got into bed, but I’m not tired so don’t hang up unless you have to.”

“I’ve got about an hour. Enjoying my bed?”

“A lot.” He hums at that. “Might just move in and make you take the couch.”

“We can share.”

That wasn’t a standard Rin answer; he should’ve said something along the lines of changing the locks or making you sleep on the floor. Not that you hadn’t shared a bed with him before, you were both mature adults that could do that without things faring awkward, but that was how he teased you.

But speaking of teasing, there was something more delicate on your mind and you were confident that Rin would be able to help - it would just be easier to ask if you didn’t have to look at him when you did. You’d need to be careful, tiptoeing along this line between friend and something else - something more - was a task done delicately. Otherwise the whole friendship could crumble, and Rin was not a person that you wanted to lose.

“Why are you quiet?”

“Wanted to ask you something, but I’m not sure how to ask.”

“Then just ask.”

Easy for him to say, he was great at being blunt (most of the time). This wasn’t something you were sure about, as Rin’s affection came few and far between. But you’d known about a girlfriend or two, affairs that didn’t last long but were long enough that he’d slept with them so he was your only option.

“How do you make a girl cum? Like…what’s your technique?” You feel like you’re in a furnace, your face hot as there’s a pause on the other side of the call. He probably thought you were stupid, figuring out how to cut this tie and ensure his cat was still taken care of from today on.

“Was there a sexual awakening that I missed?”

“Uh…no?” Your voice wobbles, embarrassment having taken over but you know you’re in the fire now. Rin wouldn’t drop this - he sounded too interested to be willing to. “It’s more like a me problem.”

“You need help finishing yourself off.”

“It sounds pathetic when you say it like that!” Your complaint earns a chuckle from him on the other side, and your face is warm with embarrassment. “But basically, yeah. I get so close and then it’s just…gone. Kinda silly, but it’s bugging me.”

“I can see why. Are you in my bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Bring anything with you?”

You hesitate to answer, since the implication of a positive response would be that you were masturbating in his bed while he was away. Not that it mattered, considering that you just told him something deeply personal regarding your sex life - a vibrator in his bed likely would be nothing in comparison.

“Don’t get it yet, first take your shorts off for me.”

It’s easy to follow instructions when it was Rin dishing them out. Usually the mask he wore when out playing soccer slipped, leaving a soft spoken man who just rolled with the punches for you to hang out with in your shared free time. When he maintained that control it always turned you on, the dull tenor of his voice and cold gaze sending shockwaves directly to your core that had you pushing yourself closer to him to absorb more of that energy that radiated off of him.

You’re obedient as he gives you instructions, first to wet your middle finger before sliding it between your folds. It’s only a bit embarrassing to feel just how wet you were hurt from talking to Rin - and you couldn’t even see what he was doing on the other side of the ocean. He sounds amused at the information, telling you to bring some of that wetness up to your clit.

“It’s about building anticipation,” he says, and you open your legs more as you continue to move your finger in tight circles. “Patience is key, don’t rush it.”

It was hard to be patient when you were desperate for that release that had been evading you for weeks. First it was just day by day, believing it was just a mental block or stress keeping you from cumming, but gradually became hour-by-hour that you worried you would never feel that bliss again. Patience would be near impossible when this was something you wanted more than anything else - if anything just to make sure that there wasn’t something irreversibly wrong with you.

“Relax.”

“‘M trying.”

“Not hard enough.” He was such a bastard. “I can’t get off until you do.”

Of course he’d challenge himself, placing a stipulation on his ability to help you reach that peak and actually fall off the edge and onto the other side. Typical Rin, but the labored breathing on the other end tells you something else. This wasn't just him helping you get off, this was full fledged phone sex now, the official crossing of a line previously left untouched. The question of what happens after this is better left unspoken, held back until Rin was in the same room as you and neither of you could dance around the topic. Not that he would, but you wanted to cover all bases.

“Do you need to stretch yourself out a bit or can you take your vibrator without it?”

“I should be okay without it.”

“Get it wet with your mouth, but play with it a little bit like you would if it was me.”

This had to be part of the anticipation. Playing with the toy that would be penetrating you as if trying to get it just as excited as you were. The additional prompt to treat it as if it were him you were sucking has your face hot - as if you were sitting directly in front of a fire.

“D-do you want it to be me stroking your cock?”

“As much as I’m sure you want it to be me rubbing your clit right now.” That had you humming as you brought your vibrator to your lips, setting your phone on your chest while on speaker so you could still hear him but use both your hands. “But we’ll work that out when I get back.”

You wish he could see you nod around the vibrator, since the sound you made at his statement could easily be interpreted as a sound you made at rubbing your clit. This would be so much easier if he was here, but you’d make do with what you had.

“Sounds so messy,” he teases, but you don’t care because you knew he liked it since he bothered to comment on it. “Get it nice and wet?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then push it in slowly. I want you to feel every inch of it.”

You do as he says, eyes falling shut at the feeling of the penetration and trying to picture Rin on top of you. His hair would probably fall in his face, tickling your face as it moved with his head and his thrust.

His name tumbles from your lips in a stuttered gasp, prompting his own groan that has you clenching around your toy as you continue to guide it in. He reminds you to relax and take it slow, and you take a couple deep breaths before continuing until it’s at the hilt.

“Don’t turn it on yet, fuck yourself with it for me. Move slow,” he instructs, voice heavy with his own lust. “But move your fingers slow on your clit. Feel it build a bit.”

You crave the additional stimulation from the vibration but don’t dare to defy Rin’s instructions after you’d asked him for help. He wasn’t above stopping entirely if you went against his suggestion, and for your own sake you push the thought aside as your hands move like he’d instructed.

When he tells you to turn on the toy you don’t hesitate, keeping it on the lowest setting as he’d instructed and keeping the thrusts slow.

“Takin’ it so well,” he mumbles, and you nod your agreement as your hips raise of their own accord. “Feel good?”

“Y-yeah. You?”

“Yeah.” He pauses, and you can hear the wet sound of his hand sliding along his shaft. His breathing was labored, you assumed that he was doing his best to hold off as he’d promised, the sound one of the sexiest noises you'd ever heard in your life and would happily play on loop as the soundtrack to assist in your next solo session.

“Pick up the pace a bit. Not too fast and angle it so it’s pointing upwards a bit.”

He continues to instruct you, an “oh, fuck” or “shit” breaking up his sentences on occasion but making you clench around the toy you fucked yourself with. Being part of the reason why the ever-collected Rin Itoshi was falling apart was a unique position to be in, but a position you were excited to be in. The adjusted angle has you seeing stars, the tightening of your core an indicator of an ending you hoped you achieved.

“R-Rin, I’m gonna cum.” You actually were, and you were so excited that he’d gotten you there. “Oh my god, I’m gonna-“

“Don’t hold it. Cum for me and let me hear you.”

The way you cry out when you finally tip over that edge is unrecognizable. The waves of pleasure that crash through your system have your legs shaking as your thighs clench around your hand, tears pricking at your eyes at the immense pleasure you were finally getting to experience after what felt like a lifetime. On the other end of the line you hear Rin’s stifled groans as you assume he reached his own end. He probably looked so pretty, chest heaving and hair sticking to his forehead since he’d sweat, you couldn’t wait to see it in person when he got back.

Your body relaxes back into the mattress, your vibrator turned off but still held in your pussy as you try to steady your breathing as he asks: “Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m home on Thursday, and I’ll make you cum so many times you’ll forget you ever had issues with it.”

“Threat or promise?”

“Both.”

[damnfeelings09]

Animals AU - Shadow's version

A.N: Hello! Chapter 1 is finally here and I'm really proud of it. I decided to use the inspo from the video I posted days ago and this is what I got. I'm planning around 10 chapters for this one. Also RED PARTS ARE STALKER THOUGHTS, and GREEN ARE YOURS. With that I'm out and don't forget to lock your windows at night, he might be watching.

NFSW: blood, stalking, fear, weapons, fighting, bad lenguage, smut. +18

“Baby I'm preying on you tonight

Hunt you down eat you alive

Just like animals…”

“So... you got a boyfriend?” said the voice on the other side of the phone. You had no idea who you were talking to. Stupid? Probably. Exciting? Hell yes!

“Why? You wanna ask me out on a date?”  you asked in the most captivating tone possible.

“Maybe…” he said, a smug, seductive smile forming on his face. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“You never told me your name.”

“Why you wanna know my name?” you laughed. This conversation had been the most interesting part of your week. You had no idea who you were talking to; it was a stranger. An unknown number, written on the front page of the psychiatry book you had checked out from the library, along with a note that said, "Call here to have fun." Too tempting not to try. You were in your last year, your grades were perfect, and you had been accepted for an internship at the GUN Hospital next year. Everything was going grat, a little fun couldn’t hurt, right? Mailo had tried to convince you that it was a bad idea to call, but in the end, your curiosity won over your good judgment. The first time the call came in, you hung up after a second. Scared, your heart racing, before you could do anything else, the incoming call screen appeared. Soon, you found yourself trapped in his deep voice. Damn, anyone with that voice had to be fucking hot, and if not, you could always close your eyes and listen to his voice until you came.

“I wanna know who am I looking at” You froze, cold sweat dripping down your neck. Quickly getting up from the bed, you looked out the window. Outside, darkness reigned, only the trees and the other side of the sidewalk were barely visible. It was impossible, but when your skin tingled, you knew it was real—there was someone out there. He was out there, watching you. You heard laughter coming from the phone and immediately hung up. With your heart racing, you ran through the house, making sure all the doors and windows were shut, all alarms and lights on. Going back to your room, you locked yourself in the bathroom. This would be a long night.

The alarm woke you up, sore and with a swollen face from the bad night, you got ready for the day. You hated Mondays, but this Monday, in particular, was terrible. You hadn’t slept at all and had hidden like a coward in your bathtub. You had allowed the psycho phone man to gain power over you, and even more, secretly, you’d enjoyed it.

“Someone didn't have a good night,” said Mailo as you both were walking down the main hallway.

“I slept in the tub” you mentioned as you craned your neck to the side trying to find that sweet spot that would make your vertebrae settle or end your life, whichever came first.

“Ouch why?”

“Ah...” You couldn't tell him what had happened. You'd be branded stupid, and scolded by your best friend, it would be a humiliating “Let a friend crash last night” you lied.

“Which friend bunny? The imaginary one?” you heard as he laughed at you walking into the gym, slamming the door in your face. Stupid, sexy Shadow.

“Fuck you sombrita” You abhorred the day your paths had crossed. 2 years ago Shadow had arrived, with a glowing recommendation letter from Commander Maisland they let him enroll in any course he wanted because he would be “the salvation of the world”. Yeah right, that moron couldn't save anyone.

According to gossip, he had been on the resistance team back in Angel’s Island. Surprising to many, even to you until you met him. You were coming back from vacation, in a hurry to get to your anatomy class, you missed breakfast and had to run from the parking lot to the classroom in less than 10 minutes. When you arrived you sat next to Mailo, but during the whole class you could not pay attention, the class was too boring and your attention could not focus on the vascularization of the femur. You settled into your seat and taking advantage of the fact that the light was off, you closed your eyes, heading for dreamland. A hand wrapped around your hair pushing you, causing you to knock onto the table and woke up. You turned around, behind you was a hedgehog with jet black fur and red tips, looking at you with amusement, covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

“You have something on your forehead,” he said, letting out a laugh. You raised your hand and took your pencil; it had stuck to your forehead after the blow you had given against the table. That day you had earned a scolding, an extra job and an enemy.

Shadow was a bastard, with airs and graces. Taunting you whenever he could, pissing you off and competing with you every chance he got. It wasn't like there was much of a chance, he was the ultimate lifeform, at least that was what every professor called him. You hated the moment you found out you would be together once again. The self-defense and advanced martial arts class had run out of instructors, so they had put the two groups together and now you were forced to see him 3 times a week. “It will only be 6 months” you said to yourself as you and Mailo walked in.

Your group consisted of 12 people. 7 for self-defense L1, including you, Mailo, Grant, Susane, Alissa, Roger, and Dalia. The other 5 were supposed to be from advanced martial arts. The instructor, Agent Rios, called them to the center of the gym where the mats were. Quickly, you took off your shoes and tied your hair in a high ponytail. "Listen up, the university doesn’t have the budget to hire more instructors, so I’ll be teaching both levels. However, you’re not the only groups I have, and to make things easier for me, I’ve decided to pair one advanced person with the level 1s. I’ll call out your names and you’ll pair up with your partner on one of the mats, then I’ll tell you what we’ll do next."

"Oh hell no…," you thought. “Alissa and Rene, Roger and Rouge, Dalia and Ivana.” "Hello, God? It’s me again. I know I haven’t been very good, and I really don’t care what you think, but please, don’t let me..." You begged. You really didn’t want to be with him. Anyone but him.

“Susane and Richard, Miss Moon and Shadow, Mailo with me. Alright, that’s everyone. Now, pair up and start warming up. I’ll be back in 10 minutes."

“Excuse me, professor, is there a possibility of changing my partner?" you said, walking behind him. "It’s just that Mailo and I…” “Listen Miss Moon, I saw you last semester. You’re terrible and have no strength. That hedgehog is your best option if you want to pass the year, now if you excuse me" Agent Rios walked past you. Now you had no other choice but to try. The self-defense class was mandatory for all students, even if you weren’t planning to pursue a career in the battlefield there was no getting out of it.

“Great, now I’ll have to worry about two psychos.” You thought as you walked back to the mat where Shadow was waiting for you.

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Everything You've Dreamed

modern!aegon x f!reader

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend's brother for a while now and finally decide to try to make your interest more known. 

Warnings: 18+ semi-innocent reader, Aegon the Corrupter, swearing, vulgar language, sex store, mention of porn, vibrator, overstim, masturbation(m), oral(f) 

Authors Note: come on best friends brother 🧎🏼‍♀️ forgot i’m down bad for modern aegon 😔 there’s a plot if you believe hard enough 🙇🏼‍♀️ 

Word Count: 5.2k

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

You shut the door to your uber and smooth your skirt as you walk up to the familiar front door. You told Helaena the driver got here earlier than expected and you would just wait for her. In reality you wanted to see him. Aegon. He’s been taking over your mind at night, more so than usual, and you just need.. Him. To see him. Anything. You ring the doorbell and wait with your hands clasped. After a minute you ring it again with pursed lips, knowing he’s inside. 

Aegon groans as the doorbell rings once more before throwing his phone on the bed and thudding down the stairs. He flicks the front light on and cracks open the door with annoyance. He opens the door wider with a smile as he nods you inside. You duck under his arm and he watches as your skirt softly curls just under your ass. 

Every time he’s graced with your presence you offer him a new outfit to fantasize over. He would give anything to just bend you over and pull your skirt up. Gods the way you would probably squirm if he- 

“Are you okay, Aegon?” you tilt your head and step towards him. 

“Helaena’s not home yet.” he clicks the door shut and you turn to him. 

“She told me I could wait here.” you chew your lip and he smirks looking you over from head to toe. 

“I was going to go to the store. You can come with me instead of sitting here alone.” he watches a smile spread across your face. 

“I do love shopping.” you nod, stepping closer. 

“I just need to grab my phone and wallet.” he smirks, turning to walk up the stairs. He’s back down the stairs a minute later and grabbing your hand and leading you to the garage. 

“Thank you for hanging out with me while I wait.” you squeeze his hand. “What kind of shopping are we doing? It’s kinda late.” you hum as he opens the passenger door for you. 

“It’ll still be open by the time we get there.” he chuckles, shutting the door and walking to his. “What are you and Helaena doing so late?” he turns to you with a lazy smile as he starts his car. “Watching some movie and giggling all night?” he watches your cheeks flush as a pout forms on your lips. 

“And if we are?” you scowl but he knows it’s not sincere. 

“Nothing.” he shakes his head and pats your thigh. “What movie are you two going to watch?” he leaves his hand on you as he turns onto the street. 

“I don’t know yet.” you chew your lip, glancing at his hand. He left it there so casually but his soft grip is sending heat through your body. 

“Mm, well if it’s terribly scary you can come to my bed and I’ll protect you.” he softly squeezes your thigh and hears your small gasp. “Maybe even if it’s not scary.” his words low and spoken so nonchalantly you almost miss them. 

“What do you mean?” he watches your tongue swipe against your bottom lip. 

“What would you like it to mean?” he glances over at you as he feels you shift in the seat. He tightens his hand slightly and hears a soft whine. 

“Your rings are cold.” you whisper, pressing your hand on top of his. 

“Why aren’t you wearing pants?” he starts to slide his hand up. “This skirt barely covers your panties.” he softly tugs in the hem before resting his hand a couple inches from your core. 

“I have tights on.” he smirks at your breathy tone. 

“You do.” he starts to pull into a parking lot and you look at the neon sign. He parks the car and turns to you and looks at your wide eyes. “What’s wrong?” he watches your cheeks redden. 

“I’ve never been here.” you turn to him, chewing your lip. 

“They’re all very similar. I’m sure it’s like the one you go to.” he watches you glance at the store and back to him as he waits for you to say the truth he knows. 

“I’ve never been to one.” you whisper. 

“It’ll be fun. Maybe you’ll see something you like.” he nods encouragingly before getting out of the car. He walks to your side and opens the door offering you his hand. “You can stay by me the whole time.” you blink up at him and grab his hand. 

Your heart is beating so rapidly as you cling onto Aegon's hand as he leads you up to the sex store. He holds the door open for you and you both hand your ID’s to the woman before entering. When you walk in your eyes can’t pick a place to look so instead you look up at Aegon who is looking down at you. 

“Do you want to look at anything?” he watches your eyes widen. 

“I don’t know.” you shake your head and he starts to lead you deeper into the store. 

“Do you have toys or do you use your fingers to play with your little pussy?” he whispers in your ear and he watches your whole body shutter.

“Aegon.” you whine pressing your face into his arm. 

“Hm?” he turns and you bury your head in his chest. “I could see you laid back on your pillows with a pink rabbit. Fucking yourself until you cry.” he hums and you dig your fingers into his hoodie. 

“I don’t.” you shake your head. “I’ve never..” he furrows his brows. 

“You’ve never what?” you groan, flushing even deeper. 

“Touched myself.” you whisper. “Or been touched.”he pulls you back and searches your eyes. 

“You’ve never even tried to touch yourself?” you shake your head. He starts to lead you down to the vibrators and finds a small one and hands it to you. “This will change your life.” you stare at the small box in your hand. 

“I don't know how to use this.” you look up at him and he just nods and leads you around the store to grab his items. Once he leads you to the register he grabs the box from you and has it bagged just for you. “Thank you.” you whisper to him and he wraps his arm around your waist. 

“If you would like anything else just ask me.” he purrs, pulling you out of the store. “Do you want me to show you how to use that?” he motions to the bag as he opens the car door for you. 

“Is it gonna be weird?” you chew your cheek.

“I’ve known you forever.” he chuckles, shutting the door before walking to his side. 

“Exactly.” you turn to him with flushed cheeks. 

“I don’t mind.” he turns to you with a grin. “Or do you not find me attractive?” he tilts his head, searching your eyes. 

“I do.” he smirks at your fast response. “I just..” you glance at him and feel your blush deepen. 

“You just what?” he grabs the bag from your lap. He pulls the box out and starts to open it. 

“I just thought you saw me as like your sisters annoying friend.” you nibble your lip. “But I- oh.” your eyes widen when he turns the vibrator on and you hear the vibrations. 

“I always thought you were just so adorable.” he smirks watching you squeeze your legs together. “Let’s go park somewhere else so I can show you how to use your new toy.” you gasp when he presses it to your thigh before turning it off and leaving the store parking lot. 

“In your car? What if someone sees?” he holds back his groan at your wrecked voice. 

“My windows are tinted.” he pats your thigh and you press your legs closer together. “I’ll park us away from people and we’ll go in the backseat. Trust me no one will see how you spread your thighs for me.” your breath catches as he slides his hand further up your legs. 

“Aegon,” you grab his hand as it slowly continues to creep under your skirt. 

“Hm?” he looks at you squirming in his seat before he starts down the road to the lake. 

You feel heat pool in your stomach at his grip on your thigh and the promise of his words. You’ve been dreaming of him for years, your first crush and you never imagined he would feel anything for you. You’re pulled from your thoughts when his pinky brushes against your center. He parks the car and turns to you with dark eyes. 

“Back seat?” he tilts his head and you nod. You turn in your seat and start to crawl between the seats. “You could stay like this too.” he hums, grabbing your hips keeping you half in the front seat. You feel one of his hands slide over your ass and pull your skirt up so he can see your panties through your tights. “Why were you even wearing this to a movie night with Hel? Hm? Did you wear this for me?” he smirks as you turn back to him with red cheeks looking as if you got caught. “You did.” he grins. “What was your plan?” he watches your cheeks redden even more. 

“Aegon,” you whine when his fingers trail down your center. 

“Were you gonna accidentally walk into my room?” he chuckles when you push back against his fingers.

“No. I had just-“ your body shutters as he presses against your bud. “I had just hoped I would see you after the movie and I don’t know.” you whine when he stops his movements.

“I think you do know, baby.” he chuckles watching you clench your legs together. “Tell me.” 

“You would offer to take me home and you would walk me up to my door,” your voice keeps getting quieter as you watch his smile widen. “You would decide to just come inside with me, to my room and do whatever.” you look over your shoulder at him. 

“I know you have an end to this fantasy and I want to hear it before we do anything.” he squeezes your sides. 

“Aegon,” you whine.

“You have this all planned out. I want to make sure I do it right for you later.” his low tone is causing heat to shoot across your body. 

“Then you come into my room and pull my clothes off and kiss me and kiss me between my legs,” his eyes widen along with his smirk. 

“Kiss you between your legs. Who gave you that idea?” you turn to the back seat, cursing yourself. 

“In the videos I’ve seen.” your voice barely a whisper. Aegon groans thinking about you watching porn and getting worked up before tossing your phone with a furious flush. 

“Get in the back seat.” he gives your ass a small spank and you continue to make your way to the seat once more. He gets out of the car and opens the door to get into the backseat. “I have doors, you know.” he chuckles, shutting the door behind him. “Turn and lean back against the door.” your heart beats wildly at his tone. 

“Like this?” you nibble your lip and cross your legs in front of you. 

“Just like this.” he leans over and scoots you a little further down. “Now open these pretty thighs for me.” he chuckles when you open them just a bit. He scoots closer and moves one of your legs until it’s hanging off the seat and he trails his hand down your other. “On my shoulder.” he pats your thigh. 

“What?” you squeak with wide eyes. You gasp when he guides your leg up and rests your ankle on his shoulder. 

“I’m gonna push your skirt up, okay?” you nod. “Are you ready?” he smiles, grabbing the vibrator on the seat. 

“Yes.” you nod quickly as you watch the vibrator in his hand start buzzing as he clicks it on. He watches your face as he trails the head up the insides of your thighs. “Aegon,” your legs tremble and his cock hardens at the sound of his name in your breathy tone. He presses it to your covered bud and you claw onto his hand. “Oh my Gods,” you pant. 

“How does it feel?” he slides it up and down your covered slit watching you squirm in his seat. 

“Good I- yes Aegon,” you whimper as he turns it up a setting. He watches as your other hand claws into his seat while the other stays gripping his wrist. 

“Are you terribly attached to these tights, baby?” he watches you shake your head. “Good.” you hear a tear before the vibrator presses against your panties. “So fucking wet.” he chuckles to himself when he hears your wetness through the thin fabric. 

“Aegon, something- I,” your nails dig into his wrist and he smirks watching your body jolt when high pitched cries come from your mouth. “Please, Aeg-“ a soft cry greets his ears as you fall apart on his seat. 

“Was that good?” Aegon slowly pulls the vibrator away. 

“Again.” you pant, peeling your eyes open. “Please,” you tighten your grip on his wrist. “Please, Aegon.” he groans at your soft whines. 

“Can I take your panties off?” he’s trying to find restraint he doesn’t have. 

“What if I make a mess in your car?” you chew your cheek. 

“That’s preferred.” he grins. “I just wanna see how your little pussy cries for me.” his words go straight to your center and you nod quickly. “Lift your hips for me.” he smiles when you do so and he pulls your tights and panties off in one motion. “My Gods.” he groans looking at your dripping center. 

“What?” you bring your hands down to cover yourself. 

“Oh no, no,” he smiles at you. “I just really wanna put my lips on your pretty little pussy.” he watches your blush revive across your neck. “Move your hands, baby.” he nods and you slowly move them to your thighs. 

He brings the vibrator to your wetness and slides it around before turning it on. He watches your thighs tremble as it rubs against your bud and how tightly you're biting your lip. He flicks it on and groans at the whimper that comes from your mouth. He watches your eyes close and your legs slowly start to close. 

“Aegon, I- I feel,” your chest heaves as he starts to circle the toy around your bud and your head falls back against the window. “Yes, yes, mm Aegon,” he watches your pleasure seep onto his seat with an open mouth. 

“A break,” you pant. “Please.” he flicks the vibrator off and sits back and watches your heaving chest as you come down. You scoot back up in the seat and gasp when you see the wet mark on his seat. “I’m so sorry.” your face burns from embarrassment. 

“Do not be sorry. We’re going to do that again.” your eyes snap up to his. “Come sit with your back on my chest. I’m gonna show you how to do it yourself.” he grins as you start to move. 

“But I liked when you did it.” you whisper as you settle between his legs. He lifts your legs over his and spreads them.

“I’ll help if you need it.” he kisses the side of your neck and you let out a small moan. “For now,” he pushes up your shirt. “I want to play with these.” he engulfs your breasts over your bra and you press back into him. “Grab your new toy, baby. Show me how you're going to play with your pussy when you think about me.” he chuckles at your whimpers.

Aegon pulls the cups of your bra down and has his fingers pinching and rolling your nipples instantly. You bring the head to where he kept it and sigh as you roll your hips against it. You feel for a button and jolt when it turns on. It feels different with his hands on your chest and his lips pressed to your neck. You press the button again to turn it up but it turns off and you hear his giggle at your whine. 

“What’s wrong?” he smiles watching your hips jerk up. 

“I don’t know how to change the settings and stuff.” you reach for one of his hands. “Help me, Aegon. Please. Or just do it yourself.” you plead with a wrecked voice. “Thank you.” you sigh when one of his hands wraps around yours. 

“On and off.” he presses your finger into the button starting the vibrations once more. “Different settings.” he presses your finger to another button. “You can move it around too.” he guides your hand and you whimper. 

“Please can you just keep doing it?” you feel your pleasure begin to build. “Please, please.” your legs shake above his. 

“How could I say no when you beg so sweetly?” he starts to suck and bite at your neck and he circles around your bud. 

“Can I have your fingers instead?” he has the vibrator off and discarded in seconds. “Aegon,” you press back into his as his fingers slide through your wetness. 

“You’re fucking killing me.” he rasps as he starts to quickly circle your bud. “Like this? Is this what you wanted?” he bites down on your neck and a loud moan is torn from you. 

He listens to your noises as he moves his fingers faster. He feels your wetness seeping out of you as you tremble in his arms. His other hand is still kneading your breast and pinching your nipple. You press back into him as you feel your pleasure rushing towards you. You grab onto his wrist and he chuckles seeing your toes curl. 

“Gonna make a mess all over my seat again?” he smirks, listening to your incoherent words. With a small scream you fall apart, crying out his name. “That’s my good girl.” he continues to slowly circle your sensitive bud. 

“Please,” you whisper, digging your nails into his wrist. 

“You did so good.” he hums before pressing his lips to your neck and pulling back to see the mark he left. “Let’s get you dressed. I’m sure Helaena is home by now.” he chuckles when you shake your head. 

“I don’t know if I can hang out with her.” your legs are still trembling as he gently runs his fingers down your thighs. 

“Why don’t you just go watch your little movie and then play out your little idea and I’ll go along with it.” he nods, starting to pull down your skirt from your waist. 

“I don’t have my tights anymore.” you turn to him with a soft pout. 

“Or panties.” he chuckles as your eyes widen. 

“You ripped them too?” you whine. 

“No, I'm keeping them.” he pats your thigh. “I’ll just give you a pair of sweats when we get home. Just make sure to keep your skirt down or everyone will see that your pussy is still crying for me.” your cheeks flush once more. 

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

Aegon rushes you into his room, unseen by anyone and rummages through his drawers for a pair of sweats. He walks over to you and pulls your skirt down earning a gasp from you. He helps you step into the sweatpants and walks you to the door and presses his hand against it as you go to open it. 

“While you’re watching your movie,” your breathing deepens. “I’m gonna be in here stroking my cock.” he watches your pupils dilate. “Thinking about you and your perfect little pussy.” you take your hand off the door and turn to him. 

“Can I see?” you push your bottom lip out. 

“Maybe later.” he smirks and opens the door and scoots you out into the hall. 

He shuts the door as you look up at him with flushed cheeks and parted lips. Gods he was sure he was going to come in his pants while you guys were in the backseat, but now he’s left with his straining cock and your wet panties in his pocket. He pulls them out of his pocket as he walks to his bed and collapses back onto it. He pushes his pants down and sighs in relief as his cock springs out. 

He immediately wraps his fingers around his length and he jerks up into his hands. He wraps your panties around the base of his cock and he groans knowing he won’t last. He imagines you laid out underneath him as he slowly pushes into you. How you would claw into his back. Fuck and the way you cry out his name right before you come. 

As he continues to jerk into his hand he’s half tempted to go and drag you out of Helaena’s room. He tightens his grip and swipes his thumb against his leaking tip. He feels his stomach start to coil. “Fuck, just like that baby. Feels so good.” with a low groan he’s spilling all over his hand with thoughts of you kneeling beneath him with an open mouth. 

He pulls your panties off of his cock and throws them over to his pile of laundry before he makes his way to his bathroom. He still can’t believe your little fantasy about him and how you want him to ‘kiss you between your legs’ Gods he’s going to fucking devour you. He cleans himself up before changing and going to wait until your movie is done. 

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

After an hour he makes his way to the living room to wait for you and Helaena to come out. He does everything to distract himself from thinking about what he plans to do to you later. Your soft cries as he- he hears a door open upstairs followed by laughter and he’s on his feet instantly. He feigns walking from the kitchen as he runs into you getting off the last step. 

“What are you two doing so late?” he raises his eyebrows. 

“Waiting for her uber home.” Helaena rolls her eyes. 

“I could take her. I was just headed out anyway.” Aegon shrugs. 

“Where are you going? Some late night booty call?” he watches your cheeks flush at his sister's words. 

“Yeah and I can drop her on the way.” he scoffs. “If you want.” he turns to you and he watches your eyes go wide. 

“I don’t want to make you late.” you whisper. 

“My cock will still work if I’m a couple minutes late.” he chuckles at your gasp. 

“Aegon, you pig.” Helaena smacks him on the arm. 

“Cancel your uber and let’s go. I’ll even let you sit in the back and I’ll pretend to be your driver.” he smirks starting towards the garage. 

“You can absolutely tell him no.” Helaena watches you look at Aegon. 

“He can’t be worse than that one uber.” you shrug and she starts to smile. 

“That’s true. Be safe.” she hugs you. “And you,” she turns to Aegon. “Don’t be disgusting.” she turns back to you and nods before going back upstairs. 

“Do you want to sit in the backseat again?” he chuckles as he leads you to the car. 

“The front seat is fine.” you shake your head. 

“Mm are you all shy again, baby?” he opens the door for you. “When I know you’re not wearing any panties under my sweatpants.” you chew your lip as you take a seat before he takes his.

“No, I just don’t want to make you late.” you whisper and he turns to you. 

“What do you mean?” he scrunches his brows. 

“For your booty call or whatever.” you sigh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t sound so desperate and needy but like,” you whine. 

“But I like you desperate and needy.” he pats your thigh. “There is no booty call, if you remember I need to take you home in your little fantasy and Helaena would never believe I would offer without another reason.” he leaves his hand on your thigh as he pulls out of the garage. 

“Oh.” you feel your cheeks redden. “Then I’m your booty call tonight.” you nod your head. You curse Helaena for picking some sappy love movie tonight because now your emotions are everywhere. 

“Hardly.” he squeezes your thigh. He doesn’t know why your demeanor changed so much and why his ‘booty calls’ are suddenly an issue. Maybe you feel as if this is mainly one sided? Fuck it, maybe this will cheer you up. “I have a confession of my own.” his eyes slide to you at the red light. 

“What is it?” you turn to him. 

“I have fantasies about you too.” your eyebrows scrunch at his words. “Every time you step foot in the house I have a new one.” he’s enjoying watching you squirm once more in his seat. “And every time I take myself to my room and stroke my cock wishing you would just walk in.” he chuckles at your small gasp. 

“I come over a lot.” you purse your lips. 

“And I come a lot.” he squeezes your thigh as he turns onto your street and parks in front of your house. He turns to you and looks past you to your house. “It’s late, I should walk you to the door to make sure you’re safe.” he brushes your hair back enjoying the way you lean into his hand. 

“You don’t have to.” you blink at him nibbling your lip. 

“I don’t mind.” he turns his car off and gets your door for you. “Let’s get you inside.” he walks next to you closely, allowing his fingers to brush against yours while watching you flush. “Can I come in? I just need something to drink.” he steps closer to you as you reach the door. 

“Yeah,” you nibble your lip. “We just have to be quiet.” you look up at him. 

“I can do that.” he smirks and you turn and unlock the door. You start to lead him up the stairs and he chuckles. “Your kitchen is upstairs?” 

“Shh,” you cover his mouth with your hand. “You’re going to wait in my room while I get you a drink.” you hiss. He nods and follows you up the steps once more. You push open your door and he follows you inside and turns to face you. “I’ll be- 

He shuts your door and clicks the lock before pulling you against him. The air is knocked from your chest and he lifts you up and presses his lips against yours. He walks back to your bed before tossing you back. He lifts you further up your bed and presses himself against you as he claims your lips once more. His hands start to push up your shirt and you gasp at his soft touch. 

“Arms up.” he peels the shirt off of you and is unclipping your bra and tossing them to the floor. “Can I kiss these too? Or just between your legs?” he smirks when you nod your head quickly. 

“Yes, please,” he dips down and circles one of your nipples with his tongue. “Aegon,” you grab onto his shoulders when he flicks his tongue against the hardened peak. 

He can’t help but rock his hips against yours and he groans at your small whine. He licks his way to your other nipple and when his teeth graze against it you bring your fingers to his hair. You softly tug on his hair when he sucks your nipple into his mouth and lashes his tongue against you. 

“In your little videos how do they kiss her between her legs?” he pulls back to look at you. 

“A lot of ways.” your voice breathy. 

“Which one do you want to try first?” he grins. 

“You pick.” you nibble on your cheek. 

“This is still your fantasy, baby. How do you want me to kiss your pussy?” he relishes in your soft whine. 

“Just keep scooting down.” he nods with a smile. When he makes it between your thighs he pulls his sweatpants off of you and looks over you waiting before him. “Then hold my legs up so I can’t-“ you stop yourself. “Hold them up to my chest.” you watch his eyes darken. 

“So you can’t what?” he starts to press his lips against one of your legs as he lifts it. 

“So I can’t squirm away from your mouth.” you whisper and he starts to kiss your other leg while lifting it. 

“Like this?” he holds your legs up pressing his arm to the back of your knees. 

“Mhm.” you poke your head to the side. 

“You’re going to show me these videos later.” he turns his attention back to your glistening slit. 

He licks up your center and groans at the same time you whimper. You reach around for his other hand and pull it up to your breast and he chuckles into you. He rolls your nipple as his tongue circles around your bud pulling a breathy whine from you. He flicks his tongue quicker and feels you start to slowly rock against his face. 

“Aegon,” you fist your sheets as his tongue lashes against you. “Aegon, I’m gonna-“ you bring a pillow to your mouth as your pleasure washes through you. You tremble as he continues to lick as you whimper into your pillow. He pinches your nipple and you arch off the bed, abandoning the pillow. “Yes,” he smirks at your high pitched cry. His tongue moves faster with every whine and soon you’re going taut beneath him.

He moves his hand from your breast and sits up and as you’re about to whine his fingers rub quickly around your bud. He watches your eyes roll back as he hears your pleasure coat his fingers. He’s sure you forgot about this by now so he pulls the vibrator out of his pocket and presses it to your bud and turns it on and you moan loudly before covering your mouth with your hand. 

“This is what you wanted right? Your little pussy crying and sensitive while I hold your legs back?” you nod, rolling your hips. “My Gods what do you watch in bed at night?” he chuckles, turning up the speed. You give one last cry until you’re shaking and clawing at his hands. “Alright, alright.” he turns off the vibrator and tosses it to the side. “Was that everything you dreamed your fantasy would be?” he smirks, setting your legs back on the bed. 

“What if I have more?” you pant, clamping your legs shut. 

“Then we can take turns. We get to do one of mine next.” he lays down next to you and brings your lips to his. “How does this one end? Do I stay or do you kick me out?” 

“Stay and not just until I fall asleep.” you kiss him once more. “Until after I wake up.” he chuckles and pulls your lips against his once more. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

masterlist 🔌

fuck dude maybe one day i’ll write a chill one shot 😔

taglist ✍️

@ka1afbr @ninihrtss @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @alexxavicry @misspendragonsworld @papichulo120627 @ashovertheriver @gabriella-aesthetic @moonymoo1 @faenyra @uwuuness @lizzylovebooks280501 @nostalgiagoth03 @multilover19 @summer-and-sunflowers @eternalwinters @rere10 @sxlsvv @sarahrosw36q @tricksterreaper @somethingsaladsomething

[thetadispatcher]

Dan didn't react to the glare or the fact he'd been the final straw for Vincent's system. It wasn't the first time he'd scared Vincent, and he knew it was far from the last time it would happen. He also knew Vincent would wake up quickly as he was much newer, and didn't require much time to get a decent charge back, or for his system to re-calibrate and close any useless programs his panicking had caused.

It took about ten minutes before Vincent woke back up, he slowly opened his eyes as he brought his hand up to gently massage his LED. It was one of his biocomponents that was affected by his anxiety, and always had to be repaired by his system well he was in stasis. Sure, the AP700 knew he could just remove it and save himself from the sore feeling every morning, but it didn't last long and he felt it wasn't a good enough reason to take it out.

He glanced up at Bishop as he lowered his hand from his LED as it shifted from red to blue and yellow before it settled to solid blue, he decided he'd stay in the position the other had placed him in. Vincent only shifted to place his head on the android's shoulder so he could watch him work.

John glanced at Nines, mildly annoyed by how the RK900 could so easily keep his LED from showing his emotional state. He felt Nines only kept it as a way to mock those who tried to use it to their advantage.

He shifted his focus to Hugh, watching the combat android struggle with himself as he tried to work out if the human was being truthful. John and Nines both knew they could hold Hugh's choices against him, the android was built purely for combat and lacked the ability to read people that they had.

Hugh seemed to decided he'd trust the human's bluff, ignoring the other two players yelling at him for his mistake as he placed a few cards of his own.

Nines took his turn and shifted his attention to John, his expression never changing as the prototype called him out. He calmly flipped the cards to reveal they didn't match and took his turn with the tool. It beeped and his LED flashed red before it returned to blue, his movements now a bit more sluggish as it placed the tool back in it's spot.

John sneered at the other android who even in a compromised state was doing his best to appear proper. "You're way too up tight." He remarked as he played his cards, this time matching the round card. "Perhaps, but the way it annoys everyone brings me joy." The RK900 remarked with a smirk, then he shifted his attention to the human at the table. "Imagine if you were sat by me, I could give you a challenge." He chuckled, ignoring Hugh's eye roll from being called out on his poor detective skills. "We might have to swap seats after this hand. Keep things interesting."

"He's trying his best to get better, and he meets up weekly with a KL900 to come up with something new he can work on. Right now he's working on not running away whenever new people show up here." Sixty knew it was a major goal, one that had taken a lot of small things to reach, but he was confident Vincent would one day be better. Sure, he'd probably still be quiet and shy, but he wouldn't be constantly in a state of extreme stress which was the goal for him.

"I don't know of any who deviated through kindness, but I'm sure there are some." He only knew of androids who left abusive situations or deviated due to some type of fear, which he himself didn't fall under. His own deviation was just due to the damage his brain had suffered, and the repairs done to it being less then perfect, not that he was complaining.

"Well, Dan was fear that Peter had died, Vincent was fear of harm, Daniel was feeling betrayed, and most others are from the fact they were tossed in a junkyard like trash. Me, just because my brain was ripped apart and poorly reassembled." Sixty lifted his bandana to reveal the area his skin refused to cover, the white shell had blue cracks originating from an obvious bullet wound that had healed the best it could.

He placed the fabric back over the scarred area, he wasn't bothered by it, and only covered it so he had an extra bit of protection for the structurally compromised area. "And the other RK800 is really hard to pinpoint what caused him to deviate due to him refusing to accept it. But it all worked out for everyone, Dan reunited with Peter, Vincent is learning he's safe now, Daniel has the family he wanted, the other RK800 is a son to his human, and the junkyard androids are getting another shot at life." Sixty was glad he got another chance as well.

Strasky nodded as he listened to Sixty, he was glad to hear that the androids were recovering from the traumas that had caused them to deviate.

He shifted his attention to Willow when she spoke to him. "Maybe..." Strasky couldn't be sure of Dan's motives, but the PL600 had shown a genuine concern for him after the accidental contact with the structure gel. But he couldn't blame Dan for that after what he'd been forced to witness just for merely trying to comfort someone he didn't know he shouldn't touch.

Strasky gave her an unsure look, he couldn't confirm that he would be anymore willing to talk as the mere mention of it made him tense and uneasy. "I'll....try...." He looked away as he forced himself to respond. Dan had been easy to talk to, but he was a machine carrying out something he was programmed for, and machines looked at things differently then humans. An android wouldn't judge someone for their issues like a human might, they looked at things logically. He also didn't feel like he had to worry about Dan thinking poorly of him or him leaving due to deciding he's not worth dealing with, whereas with a human he felt the chance of him being labeled an annoyance was very possible.

Strasky could tell that Dan had prevented Peter from winding up like he had as Peter wasn't afraid to be himself, even around people he didn't know. He couldn't see himself being that open without that fear of judgement and rejection creeping in. He did have people who stuck around, but it took a long time to find them and they perished with the rest of his world. He had started trying well stuck on PATHOS-II, and was quickly shown how it was best he stop immediately. The thought of starting the process again, experiencing more rejections and betrayals, didn't seem worth it when he could just keep doing what he was.

"I know, but if he's anything like Peter he is probably worried about chasing you off by talking about his problems. He just didn't have someone to stop him before he convinced himself it was better to act like someone people will like then himself. For people like them the feeling of rejection hits a lot harder, they take it to heart and soon start to fear it and the feelings it causes them. And it takes a special type of person to want to stay friends with someone like them, so there will be a lot of betrayals of trust before they find those people." Dan explained as he watched Brent work, he knew Peter would feel guilty the JB300 did all the work, even if Brent was content with it as he like feeling useful.

"And with Strasky, he likely doesn't want to start that process again now that he's worse for wear as it'll be a lot harder to find accepting people. I suspect he's developed rejection sensitive dysphoria, which is an extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short, failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations." Dan explained calmly, he'd witnessed Peter starting to develop the condition, but thankfully he'd alerted his parents to it so Peter had received help before it worsened.

"An example would be if I had reacted with disgust and left him outside after he opened up, he'd feel that as a physical pain like he'd been punched. He might've reacted with rage towards me, or just shut down completely." He felt he should add something a bit easier to understand as he didn't want to confuse her. "Affirmations, compassionate self-talk, mindfulness, and intentional self-validation can help quiet their inner monologue of shame and unworthiness. Therapy also helps, as usual. I feel getting him help for the RSD will be easy as you won't need to find someone who'll keep quiet. The trauma of PATHOS-II will be harder to fix, but I know a KL900 who owes us a favor. I trust her to keep quiet about whatever he may open up about." He felt that Strasky could eventually feel comfortable with himself much like Peter was, but it would take time and he might not reach Peter's level of not caring what others think.

"Peter was like him once, not as extreme, but similar. His therapist and I helped prevent it from worsening, now he could give less of a care what others think of him and he's managed to find people who like that. I don't think Strasky will reach that level, but at least he can be confident in being himself without the saying whatever pops into his head freely."

The android Bishop had already filed the exchange away and was ready to focus entirely on his knitting. He still glared at Dan when the snap startled Vincent, but otherwise didn't care to stop. He only briefly slowed down when the other further pressed against him and he lifted his arm to make way for him.

When Vincent went into stasis, he shifted to sit more comfortably, then got back to knitting.

Meanwhile, Bishop had put on his best poker face, which wasn't too different from his usual resting face. Acing a game of cards was hardly what his training was aimed at, but he would not give away information to the enemy no matter how many scans he could run on him.

He pushed his shades up, never averting his gaze. Nines seemed to be the only remotely competent one. Now he just had to see if he could get away with his own lie.

So far, he felt optimistic.

Willow kept browsing the toys, not really minding what Sixty was up to.

"That would justify Vincent's behavior, yes. Though he may improve with time. He seems to have found something of a friend already, as unlikely as that one may be. There is hope."

In any case, she couldn't really judge Vincent for who he felt safe around when she too happened to somewhat enjoy arguing with Bishop.

"Though I wonder if there are androids who deviated for acts of kindness instead."

It would have been nice to know, if anything. As they were provided with boxes, Willow decided to pick a few toys as well.

"Dan was built to be a caretaker and is exceptionally good at it. He understands how much he can push for information and perhaps he is compelled to help you because you look like his brother." she added then, "Perhaps now that you saw how simple it was to let him in, you might find yourself more willing to quiet your concerns and share your burdens with others. The reason we are here is to help the survivors of PATHOS-II." She looked over, "That of course includes you."

"He's going to be a burden if he doesn't talk to me. I have a hard time with people as is, not knowing what I can say around him isn't making it easier." Rook complained, "I already put up with that with my father and I don't want to do it again because this time I actually care about what Strasky thinks of me."

But she still listened to Dan's advice. Her methods had failed, she might as well try a different approach.

"Well, good thing I have plenty of trauma to share." she mused, "I still feel like there isn't going to be space for me until all his friends will be alright, but I'll give it a shot."

[hwnglx]

dating enhypen hyung line pro's & con's

based on tarot. i don't know these idols personally. energies are always changing. everything i state is for entertainment purposes only, alleged and NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

pro's

will make you the brightest star of his life -> i can just see his life circling around pleasing you

your existence will just matter to you a lot

he's an extremely perfectionistic guy so he'll rarely feel satisfied and therefore put consistent effort into making sure he's being the best boyfriend he can be for you

he literally wouldn't live up to his own expectations towards himself and disappoint himself if he found himself being unfaithful or doing you wrong

wants to make his partners feel secure when they're with him, like he's their comfort person and safe space

sees his lovers as someone he can learn from -> wants to grow, improve and transform into his best self through dating his partners, as well as also become a source of support and help for them himself

almost like bonding through their wounds, perhaps even sharing similar past experiences so they can offer a sense of mending and healing to each other

i really don't see much of an ego here, in fact he's almost too overly modest and humble

heeseung is the type of boyfriend will dim his own light if it means you will shine, honestly

i thought of a line from stray kids' song “i am you” where changbin says “i can become darkness if it means you will become brighter” (fun fact they're both virgo venus')

has a very calming and soothing type of energy and presence in his romantic relationships

i just keep seeing him sit there with his soft gaze strictly focused on his partner's eyes all the time, gently stroking their hand and quietly humming “mhm”s while attentively listening to them talk and take in every word

very interested and curious in getting to know his partners in a detailed and thorough manner

will probably remember most things about you too, even the more trivial and simple things like.. the perfume you wore on the day you met, just things you probably wouldn't expect for him to remember

con's

his perfectionism, unrealistic standards and amplified romanticism can easily set himself up for disappointment, not only towards himself but also in regards to his lovers and his relationships

he tends to have this idealized view of love and approach his romantic connections with such high expectations that things not living up to that (which often is inevitable since relationships can't be perfect all the time) can quickly dishearten him

i also see him being contradictory in a way where he does want to grow and learn through the connection but at the same time, he can struggle with criticism and negativity

might not want to hear out your advice at times because to heeseung, it can feel like you rubbing his mistakes into his face, which he doesn't enjoy and can get afraid of

he's just really worried about messing things up

can get obsessive and overly invested in the relationship

i just see him being this lover who can suffocate his partners to a degree because he's so eager to make sure they're content and please them all the time

he reminds me of this guy i dated who had similar placements and he kept being so immensely alert and attentive to all my needs that it just felt.. overly smothering at some point (i know some people might like this though, depends on your character)

no lie, heeseung's and jungkook's energies are strikingly similar in a few ways. the idealization of romance, overthinking, immensely high standards causing quicker disappointment, issues with handling criticism due to their perfectionistic tendencies. they could relate on some levels.

heeseung seems like a good guy; i truly see his energy as one of the best in enhypen. though this could be subjective. his intentions read as pure, and coming from a selfless place.

jay

pro's

has this pleasant energy to him where being with jay feels very comfortable, cozy, warm and relaxing

a boyfriend who loves spending the more quiet and intimate times together with his partner

will love displaying this source of calm and rest for them

i see him really enjoying to cuddle under the sheets, in front of the fireplace, with lit candles, wine, soothing music, softly holding you in his arm

a very sensual and indulgent lover too, he just loves making his partners feel good in every sense of the word and wants to heighten their enjoyment

physical touch & quality time are his likely love languages

quite good at figuring out your personal boundaries and remaining respectful and mindful of not crossing them

he's the type to hold himself back in the beginning stages and stay polite but once he's got a good understanding of how deep he can push your buttons, he'll love to initiate some playful debates and arguments

dating jay can feel like you're dating your best friend

he brings a lot of happiness and laughter into the lives of his significant others

a lot of playful bickering and fun times

i just saw this scene of him strolling through the furniture store with his lover and them fighting over which colour plates they should buy for their new house lmao

another insight i constantly get for him without fail; this man genuinely loves the idea of marriage

though i don't see him being ready for it at all at this point in time, jay does enjoy the thought of a more traditional relationship and domestic life

extremely protective over his lover and their relationship

will always defend you and your name fiercely

or e.g. protectively get you to walk on the other side of him, if there's a busy road next to you

quite territorial too, jay wants his lovers to himself and is ready to fight and glare off anyone trying to access them

just heard “nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you'll be with me, you'll be just fine” (song by cas)

con's

mainly focused on himself; including his own dreams, desires and wishes, especially in terms of his career, his work and his money -> i don't see him having much room for anyone else right now

might feel like letting another person into his life in a more serious and committed manner could cause an unwanted interference rather than an enrichment

i truly don't see him enjoying the thought of compromosing or being restricted by anyone right now

tbh, the energy is pretty selfish, and more surface-level here.. i currently don't see jay getting into relationships for true love, but moreso for what they can do for him

and also for what the relationship looks like; on the outside, as well as on paper

very practically minded in that sense, i am not getting an actual emotional attachment to his partners for him

definitely has his workaholic tendencies; might put himself and his career above the relationship with his significant others if he doesn't see the two aligning well

i also see jay easily getting caught up in materialism and putting too much value on superficial things like money, possessions, status, etc.

he can get a little stingy if he feels unappreciated, or the connection is too onesided (like he's constantly the one buying the gifts, preparing everything and his partner doesn't bother to do their part)

immensely stubborn and “my way or the highway”

can be quite rigid and inflexible, as well as reluctant to give in, or adapt and adjust himself to anyone

tbh, the energy was interestingly different compared to what i got from him before. though obviously, people and their preferences, habits, etc. change all the time through various experiences. which is the case especially for enhypen, since they're so young and still in the midst of maturing and developing. this non-committal “i'll do whatever i want” energy strikes me as more of a stage or phase for jay as of right now. might change within a few months, who knows.

jake

pro's

immensely flirty, romantic and charming boyfriend

naturally brings a lot of butterflies and excitement into the lives of his partners in that way

i just see him being a hugely smooth talker, making his partners blush by flattering them all the time

almost in this love-bombing way, where some people might (playfully) tell him to shut up at some point while blushing embarrassedly and he'd love that sight

comes alive in romance; loves everything it entails

being in a harmonious relationship is something he desires a lot, so there's this grateful and proud feeling of “you're literally making my dreams come true”

would maybe even tell you you're his dream

emphasis on him being immensely sweet and loving with his words, there's definitely a poetic side to him too

will not only find his home in you, but become your home (offer you a sense of warmth, familiarity and belonging)

very calming and soothing listener

everytime i read for him, spirit tells me there's something about his voice and the way he looks at you, that just has the potential to calm you down immensely

jake is someone who can go through a lot of inner turmoil himself, so he can often find himself wanting to comfort the people he's close to, especially his lovers

a lover who's very.. “don't keep it all in, talk to me, i will listen, and i will try my best to help”

he just genuinely wants to make you feel cared about

also very witty and funny though, i see him provoking and poking his lovers a lot just to get a reaction out of them

a lot of sarcasm mixed into his teasing and humor in a way that just riles you up; jake will love seeing you annoyed and find it very amusing

i do see him trying to make it up to his partners too though, like giving them a kiss and apologizing (he's a very playful push and pull type of boyfriend)

con's

likely to not be very reliable, he can often be more talk than action, and not always stick to what he preaches

can be very moody, unpredictable and overly sensitive

does want a relationship that goes deeper (i can sense jake literally craving it since he can feel empty very often) but can opt to run away as soon as he feels like it does, especially because the intimacy can scare him off

vulnerability can make him uncomfortable -> to jake, it can feel like someone has insight into his true soul and sees him for everything that he is, including the flaws and blemishes he himself deems as unlovable

easily sees his wounds, pain and insecurities as something people would judge him for, which is why he rarely allows people in that closely

just.. really desires validation, a stroke of his ego and admiration and can quickly be under the impression that his more “raw” self isn't worthy of that

i heard the lana del rey song “will you still love me, when i'm no longer young and beautiful? will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?” (again.. wow, i remember getting it for my ideal type reading too)

i see jake's insecurities and unstable self-esteem making him a person who feels offended and hurt more quickly, which can lead to him becoming sharp, offensive and cutting with his words as a defence mechanism

i heard “hurt people hurt people”

can easily feel mistrustful which can lead to forceful and controlling behavior -> can experience issues allowing you your freedom out of fear of you moving on

jake kept giving me this feeling of “i want to find a person who can make me feel like i'm at home” i just kept hearing the word “home” continuously.

random note, i also thought of australia and his mother a lot, she comes up in almost every reading for him

for the pro's, the knight of cups fell out together with the four of wands, and the way it fell gave me the image of jake (knight of cups -> scorpio sun) seeking for this feeling of belonging and arriving home (four of wands) like he finally found the person who gives him the warmth he's searching for.

two of the following cards were the star and the nine of cups which gave me.. “thank you for making my hopes and wishes become reality, thank you for staying with me.” the reading was quite moving, tbh. i didn't expect that.

apparently, he is a scorpio stellium with an aries moon in the eight house, so.. phew. yeah. makes sense. jake is a bunch of intensity and emotions wrapped into one human, literally. he feels and senses everything three times as deeply as others.

his sun does fall into his fourth house too though, which explains how closely he ties himself to his family, and the meaning of home. he really craves a safe space.

sunghoon

pro's

trustworthy, committed and loyal boyfriend (probably number one in enhypen right now) -> he just won't find much interest in other people once he's with his lover

sunghoon is picky anyway, so once he's with someone, he firmly stands behind his decision and won't be the type to just allow his impulses to ruin anything

an insight i get again and again; he likes the idea of a connection that blossoms slowly but substantially

isn't the type to rush or jump from lover to lover but moreso approaches his relationships in a mindful manner

will spend a good amount of time getting to know you thoroughly, i see him studying people quite carefully

if he decides to date you, it's because he sees you as the person for him -> not the type to put on a show or play deceitful games with his partners, he's a serious lover

puts genuine effort into making sure the relationship is based on a stable foundation of trust (very important factor for him!) and mutual feelings

meaning, he'll make sure you know you can trust him but also find ways to truly figure out whether he can trust you

the type of boyfriend who wants to grow together with his partner, go through various different cycles together and continuously deepen the connection as time goes on

i do see sunghoon believing in fate and destiny, he can be quite intuitive in that sense

i heard “tell me all your secrets” and “tell me something you've never told anyone else”

sunghoon will want to be the one special person who's allowed to know you in and out, better than anyone else

wants to enjoy this subconscious, profound and unique connection with you in that way, like no one understands you the way he does and vice versa

i especially see him wanting to be the one to know about e.g. your struggles, you might not tell everyone about

like he's your person, the one you'd trust with your life

keeps the relationship very private

i just see being in a relationship with sunghoon as this experience where, being with him can feel like you're the only two people on the world; it's very intimate

he will quite literally be tunnel-visioned on you whenever you're together and naturally make you focus on him too

though i do see him enjoying experiencing different things together with his lover, this silent but powerful connection and communication is likely to still be present, even when you're amongst a crowd

like this.. one moment of eye contact between the two of you, can already tell the other person what they're thinking and feeling, type of dynamic

con's

can have the habit of naturally holding himself back a lot and therefore store a lot of his worries inside

this man can overthink and overanalyze much more than you'd think, but many of his partners might not even figure that out since he's very good at disguising it

i keep feeling so chilly inside while reading for sunghoon, it's almost like.. once he gets to this place of overwhelming and inner stress, he often turns cold

tends to rationalize his more “negative” emotions since they can get confusing and too much for him otherwise

but he also doesn't enjoy confronting his lovers with them at all, out of fear of causing disharmony, or laying himself bare in this vulnerable or “weak” state

genuinely doesn't want to burden people, especially his significant others, with his own inner conflicts but can also have issues processing and finding healthy outlets

so he's likely to, either distract himself by focusing on his own desires and endeavors away from his significant others (like his career and work), or generally withdraw and isolate himself from them in order to somehow cope

i also see him potentially struggling to empathize and understand other people's standpoints at times

sunghoon does tend to look back at himself and reflect on his own behavior a lot, so he can get caught up in this feeling of “no but i did everything right, everything is fine, i don't understand why you'd be this way”

it's this frustration of sincerely wanting to understand you, but just not always being able to, which can result in him turning distant, stiff and detached emotionally

i also see some potential judgemental and overly picky tendencies in terms of superficial things, like appearance

maknae line coming very soon! stay tuned <3

[destieltropecollection]

Update for 2025

I appreciate that I probably should have said something sooner, though I know I've talked about it in a few discord servers. This year (2025) the destiel trope collection will not be going ahead. With just one of me working behind the scenes, it is too much for me to take on this year with how busy I've been recently - not just physically busy, but mentally/emotionally busy too.

I do love this trope collection, so I'll do my best to reblog some of the past lists for you all to enjoy over the next few months.

Thank you all for coming on this journey with me since the first trope collection in 2017! That's 8 years of fics! A very pleasingly round number of 2,800 fics have been submitted!

That said, if you are interested in genuinely taking over this kind of project to keep it alive, then don't hesitate to contact me and we can have a chat :)

[whatevergreen]

(The Western World has) "...broken every promise you ever made, anywhere, to anyone. I know what I am talking about: my grandfather never got the promised “forty acres, and a mule,” the Indians who survived that holocaust are either on reservations or dying in the streets, and not a single treaty between the United States and the Indian was ever honored. That is quite a record.

Jews and Palestinians know of broken promises. From the time of the Balfour Declaration (during World War I) Palestine was under five British mandates, and England promised the land back and forth to the Arabs or the Jews, depending on which horse seemed to be in the lead. The Zionists—as distinguished from the people known as Jews—using, as someone put it, the “available political machinery,’’ i.e., colonialism, e.g., the British Empire—promised the British that, if the territory were given to them, the British Empire would be safe forever.

But absolutely no one cared about the Jews, and it is worth observing that non-Jewish Zionists are very frequently anti-Semitic. The white Americans responsible for sending black slaves to Liberia (where they are still slaving for the Firestone Rubber Plantation) did not do this to set them free. They despised them, and they wanted to get rid of them. Lincoln’s intention was not to “free” the slaves but to “destabilize” the Confederate Government by giving their slaves reason to “defect.” The Emancipation Proclamation freed, precisely, those slaves who were not under the authority of the President of what could not yet be insured as a Union."

(James Baldwin would probably agree)

"... But the state of Israel was not created for the salvation of the Jews; it was created for the salvation of the Western interests. This is what is becoming clear (I must say that it was always clear to me). The Palestinians have been paying for the British colonial policy of “divide and rule” and for Europe’s guilty Christian conscience for more than thirty years.

Finally: there is absolutely—repeat: absolutely—no hope of establishing peace in what Europe so arrogantly calls the Middle East (how in the world would Europe know? having so dismally failed to find a passage to India) without dealing with the Palestinians. The collapse of the Shah of Iran not only revealed the depth of the pious Carter’s concern for “human rights,” it also revealed who supplied oil to Israel, and to whom Israel supplied arms. It happened to be, to spell it out, white South Africa."

James Baldwin - Open Letter to the Born Again - Sometimes, our best efforts at peace are betrayed. (September 29, 1979, issue of The Nation)

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/open-letter-born-again/