#that's why I am even writing this response
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can you write something with babydaddy!jj where he like kind of abandoned r & the baby then came randomly like at 12 am at her doorstep and wins her back?
this is s1 jj!! the timeline where the pogues r really deep in the gold thing so yhat should explain why hes not there for his kid :p . p.s. sorry this is so short💔💔💔
babydaddy!jj always came back to you, or at least found his way back. in some special way that made you feel warm inside, he considered you his light— christ, you were the woman who carried and birthed his baby. you'd always be his light, through thick and thin you were the woman he'll retreat back to in the end.
so, it's no surprise when on a random friday night at one a.m. that he's at your doorstep. he's wearing his typical gray muscle shirt that's original color is beginning to fade— with a pair of cargo shorts to go along with it. of course you open it, he'd probably stopped by to do his annual three-week check-up on your shared baby that you'd started to think he forgot about. although your baby is long asleep now and you should blow him off, scold him for being absent in your babies life after during the creation of your sweet girl all he'd done was promise he'd be there, hell even hit him. he'd left you alone a quarter of your pregnancy, returning and playing 'dad' role all of a sudden once your baby was due.
you've rehearsed this exact scene in your head more times than you can count. while you were holding your babygirl for the first time and he hadn't been there, you'd lined up words that never even had been in your vocabulary to cuss him out once he came around, your anger and sadness balanced perfectly. instead of marching down to john b's where you knew he'd possibly be, you exchanged all those emotions for love and comfort for your daughter. she'd deserve that.
your face falls, as he stands on your doorstep. you’re tired, as you open the door— tired of his empty promises and tired of him coming back again and again to repeat the same cycle. but your heart skips a beat at the sight of him, a mix of anger, sadness and relief coursing through you. “come to pay us a visit?” you speak up with a quirk of your eyebrow, arms folded over your chest. he shrugs, his gaze flickering over you — taking in how your frame, now curvier, looks in those clothes, his eyes lingering a fraction longer than you would expect. “yeah. figured i’d pop by, say hello.”
he pushes his hands into his pockets, gaze drifting to the window he knows is you and your little girl’s room, before returning to your face. “she sleep?” you nod. “has been for hours.” he seems to soften at that, his eyes still looking weary yet he can’t help the warmness tugging at his heart to think of his daughter tucked up in her cosy room. he hums, nodding his head. a heavy silence falls, before he’s clearing his throat to speak. “can i come in?”you nod, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, taking in the sight of him. you step aside, the door slowly swinging open.
he gives you a smirk before stepping past, brushing against you, taking in your perfume that he can recognize from many months ago from a night he'll never forget, his hand grazing yours and sending a shiver up your spine — your body betraying you with its response. the shiver doesn’t go unnoticed by him. he feels proud of himself, at how he still affects you even after all the distance. he steps fully inside, his eyes scanning your living room as you close and lock the door behind him, watching him take a couple of lazy steps around it, running a hand over the back of the couch. “place looks different.” he speaks up, before stopping to look at you. “you get some new furniture or something?” he quirks a brow, eyeing you up.
you can’t help but roll your eyes at the small talk. you can feel his gaze roaming over your body, can see how his focus lingers in key places, causing your cheeks to flush with heat from how his blue eyes rake over your curves through your thin nightshirt. you clear your throat, forcing him to meet your gaze, though it doesn’t seem to stop him much — his gaze flickering down to your bare legs. “only difference is all our babies stuff.” you simply respond, your eyes boring into his.
he chuckles lightly, finally returning his gaze to your face and meeting his eyes with yours, holding your gaze intently. “mmm, so she gets the special treatment around here now, huh?” he murmurs, taking a small step towards you. you back up against the door without much thought, his smirk spreading on his face — clearly enjoying getting a rise out of you. he takes another step. and another. he doesn’t stop until he’s in front of you, now invading your space, his body so close to yours that the fabric of your nightshirt brushes against his chest.
your breath hitches, his proximity making you dizzy. his gaze softens, his eyes drinking you in. he reaches out a hand, his thumb skimming across your lower lip, the gesture so tender that you almost forget who you’re dealing with. "course she gets special treatment, she's m'baby."
he chuckles, his laugh is soft. he leans in closer, the hand on your chin now going to grip your waist, his fingers digging into your hip. “yeah, she is.” his eyes are locked onto your own, his touch igniting a wave of familiar sensations that you'd been trying to forget for months. “she gettin' everything she needs?" he murmurs, his other hand resting against the door. he has you trapped between his arms.
“she's healthy. despite the fact her daddy been missing for months on end.” your retort is sharp, a defensive shield that you’ve built up over the months, as his hands on you and close proximity throws you momentarily off guard.
he winces at that, shaking his head. he opens his mouth, as if to say something, but stops himself. he looks torn, and for a moment, it almost makes you feel guilty. he drops his gaze, before looking up at you again, a glint of something in his eye you only just catch. a quiet moment passes, before he takes a deep breath, stepping closer, your body squished against the door as his body now presses against yours. "i ain't mean to… be gone so long, okay?"
you want to scoff at him. you want to push him off of you and tell him to leave. but the truth is that you missed him. you missed his laugh, the way he would look at you. you missed having another hand around to help with the baby, the emotional support you’d always gotten from him. you sigh, your head tilting back against the door as you look at him, your eyes searching his face — hoping to find something, anything "can't go in-n-out her life.”
he knows you’re softening. he knows he just has to keep you talking to him. he knows he just has to keep himself pressed up against you like this, his touch making you feel things you’ve tried your best to forget for so long. he watches you closely, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. “then lemme stay, darlin’. lemme stay tonight.” he murmurs, moving to trace his nose along your jaw.
you can practically feel the tension leaving your body as his words wash over you, the fight leaving your eyes. your shoulders drop and you find yourself leaning into his touch, your mind screaming at you that this was a bad idea, but your body simply responding to the way he’re touching you. “stay.” you manage, voice barely above a whisper.he speaks softly, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as he ducks his head, resting his forehead against yours.
you feel every breath he takes, the scent of him filling your senses and sending your head spinning. he's so close, closer than he's been in months, and you can feel his breath warm against your skin. he closes his eyes, his voice a low rumble as he speaks again. “missed ya. missed this, missed our baby.”
with your defenses lowered and your emotional barriers crumbling, you give in to the overwhelming feeling of wanting to be close to him, needing to feel the comfort of his presence again. you nod weakly, your voice soft and vulnerable. "i missed you too. missed you and her. missed being close to you like this." you swallow hard, tilting your body towards him — silently inviting him closer.
his gaze softens as he takes in your vulnerability, the way you’re just crumbling in front of him, the way you sound like you need him as much as he needs you. he can’t help the wave of possessiveness that washes over him. he growls softly, his arms wrapping around you tighter, pulling you more firmly against him. “m’here now, mama.” he murmurs, his lips skimming across your exposed shoulder, a small shiver running through your body as he begins to pepper you with light kisses up your neck.
the reassurance in his tone soothed you enough, at least enough to end up on your back with him in between your legs yet again.
#nonnies˖ ☘︎ ゚꒰͡ ͜ ï ͜ ͡꒱#jj maybank x reader#jj obx imagine#outer banks#jj maybank˖ ☘︎ ゚꒰͡ ͜ Ï ͜ ͡꒱#girlwhorizzed#fem reader#jj maybank#asks#jj maybank is cutie#jj maybank prompt#not proofread
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Do you have any thoughts on Lizzies’ secret life character?
Sad. Tragic in more ways than one. Imagine a deep frown on my face
Although I lovee Lizzie's character to death, I don't think I'm so good at verbalizing my thoughts in depth about her, but I am trying to write a general opinion piece on her. As far as Secret Life goes, I really like how antsy she is to do things that are likely to harm her even when not required to. Eg her immediately going for Cherry trees in spite of them being in a dangerous spot, her trying to save the camel from Mumbo, her readily jumping into the End Portal... Although in that last instance she did seem to just not think about it and be under the impression that she could instantly snipe the dragon kill lol. It's a bit sad even before the party that she's alone since she bounces off everyone so well, but I'll always believe in her. She at one point says "I might be better alone" which is referring to Mumbo regarding a task, but even so it felt like appropriate though sad foreshadowing
I don't headcanon seablings outside of ESMP1 simply because I don't see a portrayal of such a dynamic outside of it, but Jimmy and Lizzie do have multiple cute interactions in SL, like them shaking their asses at each other to communicate lol, it's a shame that the one notable interaction they have is Jimmy accidentally killing her :(. I didn't remember them having so many interactions even if they were brief, I need to rewatch more of Lizzie's Life POVs because the ass shaking is something siblings would do, I have to admit
I also need to point out that I love Lizzie's and Pearl's dynamic as few interactions as they have. The way she's drawn to the same qualities in Pearl that she's drawn to in Joel and with no hesitation rewards her as promised when Pearl gets her a bone, even whilst Joel is trying to appeal to her. And Pearl remembering her slumber party the next session without being reminded was probably the nicest anyone was to her about having missed it
But of course, the sad lonely slumber party... It does not get any easier to watch (or that episode in general. Her idea of getting everyone into the end to pass the night was a genius idea but alas) but god bless Joel. God bless. The one real one. The one constant. And him remaining vengeful on Lizzie's behalf means so much to me. Of course Lizzie's failure of a party and failure to seek much revenge for it resulting in her early death is the tragedy of it all. No less tragic than anyone else dying first but sad nonetheless. And it continues the trend of Lizzie permadying due to a third party which is arguably the most tragic part of her character that I think would make for banger analysis
It's even more tragic to me though that her character gets made out to be all about the SL death while I see little discussion about her actual character outside of that. And also people placing importance on her death because of Jimmy. I absolutely understand it was always going to be at least a little about Jimmy regardless of who would have died first, but the amount of talk I see that makes her character all about her failure and death, and then that death all about Jimmy, makes me sad because I think there's a lot to say about her. So I tend to be adverse to any kind of canary labelling and "She took the bullet for Jimmy/her brother" kind of sentiments, although I do think that the SL finale is still significant and I understand why it had the impact it did on the fandom. Just not personally a fan of a lot of the responses to it
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besties | p.p.
pairing: peter parker x f!stark!reader
summary: your friendship with your dad’s intern turns into something more
warnings: friends to lovers, swearing, these bitches being oblivious, comedy, dad tony, mentions of past affairs, suggestive content, fluff galore, slow burn, underage drinking
a/n: i’m not usually a peter girlie as i love him and mj together but i wanted to write some fluff so here we are. also i’m laughing at petey’s intials. set post endgame but tony lives and steve doesn’t go back in time. nat’s still dead tho :(
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liked by peterparker, nedleeds, tonystark, and others
yourusername: your fave upstate & queens duo
tagged: @/peterparker
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user1: MY FAVES
user2: imagine being friends w/ the y/n stark😩
user3: THIS
nedleeds: can’t believe y’all got food without me…
peterparker: sorry!
yourusername: no we’re not
peterparker: never getting in a car with you driving AGAIN
yourusername: IT WAS ONE CURB
user4: like father like daughter😭
user5: omg😂
tonystark: how many people from queens do you even know?
yourusername: that doesn’t matter
peterparker: they hate when we serve orphan & nepo baby
yourusername: 🗣️🗣️
user6: not the dead parents—
user7: i bet peter is the funniest person alive😭
user8: bro’s got trauma for days😭😭
pepperpotts: so this is why it took you two 6 hours to get the olive oil i asked for…
yourusername: should’ve sent happy🤷🏻♀️
jamesrhodes: you act like y/n doesn’t have tony’s horrible time management skills
pepperpotts: and peter?
jamesrhodes: spends too much time with tony and y/n
user9: god i want to live in nyc so bad
user10: pov: you saw y/n stark hit a curb today
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liked by nedleeds, yourusername, mjjones, and others
peterparker: lab days🛠️🥽
tagged: @/tonystark
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yourusername: YOU GOT FIVE GUYS WITHOUT ME?!??
peterparker: BLAME YOUR DAD!! IT WAS HIS IDEA
tonystark: that was supposed to stay between us kid😑
user11: is that a new iron man model i see👀
peterparker: nope, just fixing rhodey’s suit :)
yourusername: surprised uncle rhodes is letting you touch that old thing
jamesrhodes: HEY! the war machine suit works fine just the way it is
yourusername: clearly not if it had to be fixed…
user11: oh god what have i started🫣
user12: five guys👨🍳🤌
user13: looks so fun!
nedleeds: man you HAVE got to convince mr. stark to let me come with someday
tonystark: not happening hacker
nedleeds: 😔
mjjones: THIS was more important than acdec?
peterparker: YOU DON’T JUST SAY NO TO TONY STARK MJ!!!!
yourusername: i do all the time🤨
user14: 😭😭
user15: love how peter is just friends with all the starks
user16: i’m pretty sure he’s tony’s personal intern
user17: ^^^
user18: oh my god i thought he was another bastard from tony’s playboy days😭
user19: lmao nooooo
user20: tbf i forget y/n isn’t pepper’s kid sometimes soooo….
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liked by nedleeds, mjjones, peterparker, and others
yourusername: a happy meal is the only true serotonin one needs in life
tagged: @/peterparker @/nedleeds
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tonystark: what am i? chopped liver?
yourusername: yes
tonystark: ouch
user21: imagine calling tony stark chopped liver😭
nedleeds: i’m pretty sure we broke the airplane wheel
yourusername: shhhh…don’t let ronald hear you
peterparker: thanks for the nightmare fuel tn
yourusername: anytime🫡
user22: happy meals >>>
user23: mcds cokes >>>
yourusername: ronald mcdonald🥵
user24: one of these is not like the others…
user25: LMAO NOT RONALD MCDONALD😭😭
peterparker: i’m just glad we took the subway this time
yourusername: WOW
yourusername: AND TO THINK WE WERE BFFS
peterparker: I’M SORRY I DON’T WANT TO DIE YOUNG
tonystark: that is the most bullshit response i’ve ever heard from you
user26: this comment section is so unhinged😭😭
user27: lol what’d you expect??? it’s the starks
tonystark: morgan would like a happy meal
yourusername: we all know that’s just the excuse for you to get one too but that’s ok
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liked by tonystark, yourusername, steverogers, and others
pepperpotts: cozy day with the family🤍
tagged: @/tonystark @/yourusername
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user28: you guys are so cute!
yourusername: i would like everyone to know that dad pushed me into the pond after that pic was taken
user29: omg noooo😭😭
peterparker: did you save your drink at least?
yourusername: obviously…i’m not a monster pete
user30: i’m crying at the thought of tony stark pushing his daughter into a pond😭😭
user31: ^^^
tonystark: this is defamation
steverogers: glad to see you guys doing well pep!
pepperpotts: you should come over for dinner sometime soon!!
tonystark: please leave the 2 assholes that follow you around at home thanks
pepperpotts: TONY
yourusername: bring them for the bit
samwilson: i’m going to get morgan the loudest fucking toy for christmas now
user32: this thread is a mess😭😭
user33: it’s so weird to see y/n without peter lol
user34: lol frfr
user35: i’m kinda starting to ship them ngl
user36: omg yes!!
user37: you guys can never let a boy and girl just be friends😒
tonystark: my arms are so tired from pushing morgan in that swing all day
yourusername: sounds like a skill issue
peterparker: ^^^
tonystark: i’d like to see you two single-handedly save new york from an impending nuke
user38: 😭😭😭
jamesrhodes: looks like a perfect day for the stanks!
tonystark: you’re never letting that go are you
jamesrhodes: nope!
yourusername added to their story —>
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[caption: when the trip makes it out of the family group chat >>>]
story replies
peterparker: can’t wait!!!
yourusername: i am so beating you to the best room
user39: i just know the pics are abt to be fire🔥🔥
user40: where are you going?
mjjones: i’m expecting a real life nemo
yourusername: 🫡🫡
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liked by peterparker, pepperpotts, mjjones, and others
yourusername: us virgin islands? this american def ain’t a virg—
tagged: @/peterparker @/tonystark @/pepperpotts
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user41: HELLO?!?
user42: GIRL WHAT!?
peterparker: ain’t nothin’ virgin abt this isla—
yourusername: 🏝️= 👉👌
user43: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!
user44: YOUR PARENTS FOLLOW YOU Y/N
mjjones: the island after y’all left: 🤰
yourusername: MJ I’M SCREAMING😭😭
nedleeds: so was the isla—i’m gonna stop
user45: 😭😭
tonystark: sometimes i think i asexually reproduced you like a plant
yourusername: surprised you didn’t clone yourself in a lab or smth
jamesrhodes: don’t give him ideas
user46: i’m freaking out over the caption
user47: no fr…
user48: AND PETER’S COMMENT
user49: 🎶i think they did it but i just can’t prove it🎶
steverogers: there’s definitely an innuendo in here somewhere but i’m just going to pretend i’m blind and go
yourusername: good choice
user50: CAPTAIN AMERICA SIR—
user51: mom come pick me up i’m scared
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liked by yourusername, nedleeds, tonystark, and others
peterparker: i have sand in my ass
tagged: @/yourusername @/tonystark @/pepperpotts
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user52: love how peter was invited on the family vacation
user53: he really is just part of the fam
user54: so convinced he and y/n are dating
user55: god i hope so
nedleeds: simp
peterparker: damn right - y/n
user56: not y/n stealing peter’s phone to comment this
user57: simp you say👀
yourusername: damn who that hottie in slide 2?
peterparker: you boo😘 - y/n
yourusername: aww thanks boo🥰
user58: 😭😭
steverogers: and that’s enough instagram for me tonight
tonystark: i still don’t know what y’all were looking at
yourusername: your ego obviously🙄
user59: oh to go on a hike with tony stark
user60: oh to be dating y/n stark
user61: they never said they’re dating…
user62: shhh let us be delusional🤫
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liked by pepperpotts, jamesrhodes, yourusername, and others
tonystark: the difference between morgan and y/n on vacation…
tagged: @/pepperpotts @/yourusername
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user63: omg😭😭
user64: y/n is such a mood
peterparker: morgan is a menace at go karts
yourusername: she plays too much mario kart fr
jamesrhodes: when one gets pepper’s genes and the other yours…
yourusername: i can’t believe you’ve done this
tonystark: oh but tis has
user65: i wanna say i’m morgan but in reality i’m y/n
user66: thisssss
user67: same😭
pepperpotts: to be fair y/n was hungover in the second pic…
yourusername: the porcelain gods did not grant mercy on me😔
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pepperpotts: great vacation with even greater company💕💕
tagged: @/tonystark @/yourusername @/peterparker
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peterparker: thank you for the invitation mrs. potts
user68: stop he’s too cute
user69: peter you’re adorable
user70: what a wonderful time to spend with family!
tonystark: i love you mrs. potts
pepperpotts: i love you mr. stark
yourusername: 😖🤮
jamesrhodes: glad to see tony still somehow manages to end up in the er on every trip
tonystark: i have a world record to hold up😤
user71: lmao😭
yourusername: i’m still full from that feast
peterparker: none of my pants fit after that salmon😩
user72: LOVE🤍🤍
yourusername added to their story —>
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[caption: 🌟🌊]
story replies
peterparker: you really are the best
yourusername: you too pete💞
user73: holy shit holy shit holy—
user74: omg i’m so happy for you
steverogers: so did you two…fondue
yourusername: OH MY GOD
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peterparker: another post bc we leave tmrw
tagged: @/yourusername @/tonystark
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yourusername: gonna miss sneaking out…
tonystark: oh please you do that back home too
yourusername: it’s not the same🙄
nedleeds: can’t wait to see you man!!
peterparker: so ready for our mandalorian marathon!
mjjones: nerds
yourusername: ^^^
user75: lmao tony😭😭
user76: he’s keeping an eye out for selener
user75: STOP😭
tonystark: andddd you’re grounded from the lab for that pic
peterparker: awww man😔
yourusername added to their story —>
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[caption: when he cares abt school🤭🫠]
story replies
peterparker: you were just making fun of me for studying🤨
yourusername: semantics
user77: automatically makes a guy hotter
yourusername: hear hear🗣️
mjjones: that better be acdec work…
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yourusername: here’s the hard launch for you bitches
tagged: @/peterparker
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user78: OMG OMG OMG—
user79: I CALLED IT
peterparker: so happy to call you mine🫶🏻
yourusername: 😘
mjjones: abt damn time…
nedleeds: ^^^
tonystark: ^^^
jamesrhodes: ^^^
pepperpotts: ^^^
steverogers: ^^^
samwilson: ^^^
happyhogan: ^^^
yourusername: damn ok then
tonystark: keep the door open
tonystark: and don’t even THINK about fonduing in my house
yourusername: PLEASE STOP
© tea-writes19 do not repost, translate, or copy
#tea ☆#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#peter parker#peter parker smau#marvel smau#mcu smau#kinda don’t like the ending of this#but wanted to get it out for y’all#peter parker drabble#peter parker fanfiction#fixed the ending
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THE YAKUEI FANGAME
for those who don't know: there is a yakuei fangame!! for free!!! IN ENGLISH?!?!? that i am about to ramble about!! It's got great art, ForReal writing, and as much humour/😨 as NuCa itself 😊😊 also, (almost) everyone has animal traits. YE,A BOYE!!!!
The estimated playtime is 1.5hrs, but I spent 4 hrs trying to complete everything without a guide;;;;;;
Expectation: i bet it's a short visual novel! a oneshot but in game form? if the creator REALLY went hard with the gameplay, maybe they'd throw in a few choices? to unlock diff dialogue branches? an hour of content at most, probably. maybe fluff about yakuei living their everyday lives and being cute/silly together 😊
Reality: everyone in the clan is here. they are in character. their lives are all intertwined and there IS a plot. there are puzzles. multiple endings. multiple CGs. you will need to think. OOPS! EMOTIONS!! GET WRECKED!!! eiden is, as usual, in a neverending Situation and you WILL feel the effects. this is a full-ass game with mistakes lurking around every corner HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE TO MAKE??!?!?! i.e.,
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Keep Reading only if you are ok with SPOILERS.
Before we even reach the title screen, content warnings pop up for: sexual implications, cannibalism, drug abuse and my immediate response is HAHAHAHA! Of course!! can't have a yakumo game without cannibalism or vore in it, amirite??? aaaaaaahhhh cLASSIC yakumo 😙😆 <- i'm having a giggle but not really thinking about it. oh, but i'll be thinking about it in approximately 3 hours. fool.
Come to think of it, I don't think this game has a Log function. If someone finds it, please share the magic keys 😥 i wish i could have read past text... i've accidentally skipped a lot of stuff... oh well. let this be a warning to my future self: USE ALL YOUR SAVE SLOTS! FREQUENTLY! EVERYWHERE!
HALF SNAKE YAKUMO! HALF SNAKE YAKUMO!! HALF SNAKE YAKUMO!!!!!!!!!! *slams my fists on the table*
having yakumo worming/trailing behind eiden is so cute i'm just gonna walk around in circles on the screen while his tail wiggles
this demon king shows up and i immediately wonder if it's the other Eiden. he has the same goofy dramatic energy. please don't kill Other You, eiden... make love, not war.......
edmond as a horse yokai is PERFECT 😭
the way i YELLED when i saw edmond appear!!!!!!!!! i thought this game was just gonna be yakuei. to have MORE characters included?!?!? AMAZING! MORE THAN I COULD ASK FOR!
i really truly wish to disturb the worker in the fields, . please. please let me disturb them
the FEAR i felt when the bartender said his cookie had alcohol in it=--!! I WAS RIGHT THERE WITH EIDEN, SLAPPING THE COOKIE OUT OF YAKUMO'S HAND. NONE FOR YOU. FORBIDDEN
eiden being respectful and constantly saying "I'm not that nosy" in other peoples' houses?? WELL I *AM*!! LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNN
"It's empty, like my soul." 🤝 we too
looks like i managed to screenshot morb and aster ? i was probably so enamoured with morvay's roundness that i simply had to take a picture. HURRAY FOR FAMILIARS!!!! THEY'RE HERE!!!!!!! and they're bickering, like usual. these sprites are adorable. i stare at morb a while longer.
aster is EVERYONE's landlord. so powerful and cute at the same time. terrifying. i legit laughed tho because really, the writer has SYNCED UP with the nuca wavelength. plot holes? no such thing. everything is explained, but with reasons across the entire spectrum from Logical to Ridiculous 😆
BLADE AS A FLUFFY SOFT PUFFBALL 😭 AND HOW HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND DANTE'S TSUN-NESS . THEYRE SILLY TOGETHTTEHR!!!! blade dressing up as fluffy sphere is so precious… like how he would wear pajamas even though he doesn't need to sleep!!! he wants to look cute and dress up like his friends!! and have fun sleepovers together!!!!!!!!!
In retrospect, this was where i went wrong. At this point, i had ALREADY COMMITTED A GRIEVOUS ERROR. This early in the game, and i'm locked out of the true(?) ending!! WOOPS;;; I thought the game would be straightforward? HAH! Not to a tomfool such as myself!! This was the beginning of Me Making Every Possible Wrong Decision , thus extending my playtime to a time faaar longer than expected 😅. I am not a Gamer. Nor am i genre-savvy. my poor decisions have doomed me to wander through the assets for eternity, trying convoluted tactics that have no effect on the story, while not noticing the IMPORTANT stuff.
What did I do? I chose to accompany morv through the forest. "i don't want morv to be in danger! At least if eiden and yakumo are with him, there'll be less chance of him getting morvnapped!" WRONG! Morvay is perfectly capable of scouting by himself. i should have believed in him more. i shouldn't have tried to smother him with my love. this incubus is older than me, and i should have respected my elder's independence 😣😩
I do not wander deeper into the forest as a result. Straight to rei's we go. Mr. Science Bird sends me out on plant-picking duty, and I think I'm soooOOoo clever by gathering more plants+flowers than I need.
Rei says he only needs 3 of each, BUT THERE ARE MORE THAN 3 HERBS/FLOWERS IN EACH FIELD. Thus, I shall pick MORE than the minimum amount! Maybe it'll be like the Rainy Day event, where the virtualias will be the key to escaping the yokai realm...?? where every person who needs to escape , needs to have their own flower?? so if i gather up enough to save at LEAST yakumo and eiden, and maybe some others who might be trapped.......
WHY IS THERE ONE VIRTUALIA THAT I CAN'T REACH? ?!!?💢💢 (inhales deeply) it's fine. i'm sure the creators wouldn't have designed that so it would be a game breaker. besides, it's not ethical harvesting to take EVERY flower at once. i need to leave some behind so they can regenerate at a healthy rate. don't be greedy!! don't clear-cut the forests for their strange herbs/virtualia resources!!!!! (i later went back to both fields and clear-cut the forest floor of all their strange herbs/virtualia, since i was paranoid and thought i would need a pair of plants for every clan member in the game. i don't know why i thought that. i didn't even know what the plan was afterward. the numbers don't even work out!!!! i just collected EEVERYTHING I COULD REACH . IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. UNPREDICTABLE PLANT EMERGENCY)
got to pet the dog . Top tier game A+++++
I hand over the plants. Rei shoos me out. I panicked when we first finished chatting with rei because SUDDENLY, THERE WAS NO WIGGLY SERPENT BEHIND ME AND I WAS LIKE YAKUMO? YAKUMO WHERE DID YOU GO? YOU DIDN'T WANDER TOO FAR OFF, DID YOU? IF I GO INTO THE FOREST ON MY OWN, WILL EIDEN DIE? IS THIS WHERE IT ALL ENDS? YAKUMOOOOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU oh./ oh, there you are. HI!!!!!!! phew [yakumo and eiden have a cute lil moment by the campfire and i am relaxed, content, just chillin.]
(once again, in retrospect, i should not have been so attached to yakumo. it's good to spend time apart....)
I can't access the forest paths that I missed earlier, so I go ahead with the plot and tell Rei that the food is ready.
At the demon king's castle, i have a grand time investigating all the assets: - Discount statues - that suspicious bookcase (EVERY bookcase in this game became suspicious after I read that restaurant menu. I kept thinking kuya was going to pop out of one. That, or I had to collect 9 bookmarks from 9 separate bookshelves in order to gain the 9 Leaves of Respect kuya holds for eiden, which would somehow ensure a successful escape). - stained glass windows just like in the Nu World event - ominous clock ticking at me - that massive door that WON'T BUDGE? err.... well maybe it'll unlock after I explore the rest of the castle!
I find it a bit strange that the game would include so many clan members, but not quincy or kuya. maybe... they were too powerful to be dragged into a world like this? or they're super elusive and aren't meant to "show up" as obviously as the others??? <- delusional thinking. quincy and kuya ARE supposed to show up. skill issue.😑
So I explore the RIGHT side of the castle. um. and finally the doubts about yakumo are starting to solidify.
Audience: You're kind of slow, aren't you, Fish?
WELL!! i know that the disclaimer at the beginning said that "following yakumo's advice" would not necessarily get you the ending you desire, ., , , , so i knew that yakumo would have his own goals in mind....... but.................idk, i didn't have a reason to go against his decisions so far in the game?? he and eiden haven't been faced with a huge divisive decision so far, right???
Audience: what about "make sure to stay close to me, Mr Eiden"?
yeah.. when he said that, my instinct was to immediately split off from him in the castle but i... never got the option... 😞
anyway. i'm wandering thru the flesh maze in which i check EVERY dead end. i try to INTERACT with every dead end. idk if there are multiple rooms hiding in here. i gotta be thorough (.there were not multiple rooms in there. flesh-scouring chump.)
Only when I'm standing in the yaku-room replica do i give a SEVERE side-eye to yakumo He won't let me check the thing next to the anemones HOW DARE HE STOP ME FROM LOOKING AT SOMETHING. WHAT AR EYOU HIDING. LET ME BE NOSY. I'LL INVESTIGATE WHATEVER I WANT
what are the red anemones for, yakumo. what are they for? WHAT SECRETS ARE YOU HIDING FROM US?!?!?! HIDING THE TRUTH DOESN'T PROTECT US YOU KNOW, TELL US THE TRUUUUUUUUUUTH
After eiden TRIES😒 to investigate everything and i have a giggle at yakumo weakly yet firmly stopping eiden from talking about their roleplay mirror escapade (yakumo. it's just you and eiden in the room.are you only stopping him from speaking because you'll die of embarrassment? come on 🤣), i leave the room... i investigate the out of place knight statue in the main hall... it tells me about the hidden mirror! and i
ENDING 2/3: WHAT THE FUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST HAVING A FLUFFY GOOD TIME DOING FAVOURS FOR FRIENDS AND ADMIRING EVERYONE'S ANIMAL EARS YAKUMO WHAT DID YOU DO WHERE IS EIDEN ARE WE EIDEN? IS EIDNN REAL??????????? YAKUMO SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA
NOW BEGINS THE TIME OF RELOADING SAVES. REPEATEDLY. AND STARTING ENTIRELY NEW GAMES BECAUSE MY SAVES WERE NOT VERY ORGANISED OR PLACED AT KEY JUNCTURES.
I START COMBING THROUGH *EVERYTHING*. VISITING THE SAME BUILDINGS AFTER EVERY PLOT POINT. TALKING THROUGH THE SAME DIALOGUES AGAIN AND AGAIN. I WILL FIGURE THIS OUT.
Going through the game more carefully makes me realise how many things i missed. This... this is no joke. This game has LAYERS and GrassTheOriginator was noT PLAYING AROUND WHEN IT CAME TO THE DETAILS
FIRST OF ALL!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED LUNCH!!!! HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED LUNCH WITH YAKUMO'S BELOVED GRANDPARENTS?!?! i was positively negligent. how could i have not checked in with granma and granpa at every step of the way to make sure that they knew where we were and that they were both healthy and thriving. i cannot believe i only checked the house ONCE in my 1st playthrough. i missed out on eiden bullying yakumo + yakumo getting flustered + grandma's "youth are so lively♥ haha". HOW DARE I!!!!!
When I GET TO EXPLORE the forest paths i missed last time, Discovering the bed in the woods had me go🌲🌲 AHA!!!!!! YES! i knew something was missing from my first playthru!! i did NOT MEET EVERYONE and we all know eiden's not completely happy until we're with EVERYONE IN THE CLAN
mr quinquin hasn't made his appearance. that elusive beast. i must lure him out. for completion's, sake. for EITO'S TRUEST HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!! *RANSACKS GRANDPARENTS' HOUSE FOR SNACKS*
because i saw that ONE little tree glitter with animal essence, i started suspecting EVERY tree that looked like it
I save scummed for a while to see if approaching the ✨tree at different points would bring out kuya or something. or maybe even the tanuki. something that will help me get the good ending?
(it was probably the tapir. i forgot that the game page on itchio mentioned fanciful capriccio until i got to the true end.. so... Past Me thought kuya was jumping from tree to tree to make me chase him around)
i ended up inspecting EVERY LITTLE TREE I COULD TOUCH
yep, definitely a tree.
GET OUT HERE YOU DAMNED FOX YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I HAVENT MET YET!!! GET YOUR UGLY FACE IN HERE!!! OLD MAN!!! BESTOW UPON ME YOUR REALITY-SHATTERING WISDOM, RIGHT NOW!!!!
Quincy SAID you were lingering around. SHOW YOURSELF!!!!
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT GRAVESTONE IS. IN REI'S YARD…. REI, PLEASE…… THERE ARE TOO MANY SECRETS. IS IT MOM? IS IT THE REAL REI? IS IT SOME RANDOM CORPSE YOU STOLE FOR EXPERIMENTS? PLEASE!! I'M LOST IN THE WEB OF LIES
i love how every time i check rei's shelf, i see a new drug. Bone fixing juice (not a drink)? Pure liquid caffeine (maybe garu got into that…)? fox repellant??? 🤣🤣🤣 only the necessities!!
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* crawling out of the dirt, bruised and bleeding, after trying slight differences here and there . to try and figure out the true ending for myself* WAIT… I HAVE ONE LAST THING I MUST TRY… THE HERBS… GIVE REI THE WEIRD LITTLE GIFTS!! THEY'RE LUCKY GIFTS, RIGHT? IT'S NOT BAD TO USE GIFTS LIKE THIS, RIGHT..?!??!?!
YEAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YTEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW PATH! NEW THING! I BROKE THROUGH! THAT'S THE LAST CLAN MEMBER YEAH! YEAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!I MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THIS TIME!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU STUPID OLD FOX!! YOU'RE INFURIATING IN EVERY UNIVERSE!!! IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND (or maybe i'm just bad at this game. maybe everyone else playing this diidn't spend hours Doing EVERYTHING wrong, before FINALLY doing the ONE correct thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣) the whole "seeing kuya's expression all blurry" is such a cool image tho i'm like, of course yakumo is fighting it but kuya is stubborn and will still knock at the glass between his purple self and dream-eiden heheheehheeh ominous purple peepaw is here to insult everyone in a plot-expository manner. finally.
Just taking a moment to appreciate yokai birdy rei putting yakumo through the lab assistant wringer. :) destroy him, sweetie.
.approaching yakumo at the campfire afterward. WAIT NO I COULDNT RESIST AND I MADE ANOTHER BAD DECISION BECAUSE OF THE COMPLETIONIST'S URGE
"don't tell hiim", i told myself. if you tell him, that alerts him to kuya's presence, and your new knowledge,, and he's going to DOUBLE DOWN on keeping you captive and i've only gotten 1 ending despite all my random tinkering so I BET YOU THAT THIS IS WHERE THE LAST TWO ENDINGS SPLIT
Brain: DUDE DO NOT TELL HIM Me: But yakumo keeps saying "Please feel free to tell me if anything is bothering you, Mr Eiden." So why wouldn't Mr Eiden tell him about what is bothering him? :< Brain: YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PISSED OFF Me: [tells yakumo anyway] …….timeskip…………. -> yakumo going "i didn't want to do this to you" Me: SAVE FILE????NOW???????!😨 -> ENDING!!! GET EATEN, IDIOT
Me: 😶 Brain: what did i tell you. i told you not to tell him. AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT YOU. YOU FOUND OUT WHWERE THE CANNIBALISM CONTENT WARNING CAME FROM, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT RESIST MAKING STUPID DECISIONS Me: but but but isn't it good to keep the line of communication open? how is it a healthy relationship if eiden keeps secrets from yakumo? wouldn't it be more progressive to tell him the truth of seeing kuya, so he can have time to contemplate his actions-- Brain: YOU IDIOT!! YAKUMO IS NOT IN HIS SANE MIND NOW. OPEN COMMUNICATION IS NOT THE SITUATIONALLY APPROPRIATE MOVE. HE'S BEEN KEEPING THIS WHOLE WORLD'S TRUTH A SECRET FROM YOU,, RIGHT??? SO YOU CAN KEEP A SECRET. SHUT UR M OUTH. Reload your save and pick the right answer for once in your life, PLEASE Me: 😔 ….. ………… ok but what if i DON'T reload from the decision of whether or not to share kuya's presence with yakumo……. AND I JUST RUN FROM HIM *NOW*? THERE HAS TO BE A REASON THERE'S A SAVE POINT THERE, RIGHT? if escape was impossible, they wouldn't give you a checkpoint like that, RIGHT??
Audience: you.. you didn't think about running at ALL? Me: Nope Audience: what, so you just let him get you? Me: Yep. Just stood there. I figured my decisions already sealed my fate. The cutscene was just playing out. Audience: After a save point. Me: Yes, after a save point. Audience: Have you... ever played games like this before? the little adventure rpgs with pixel art? Me: No, but i've seen people play things like Ib and Ao Oni Audience: you need to run- Me: right... you DID need to run in those games Audience: after strategic save points. because there's a chance you might want to RETRY that sequence Me: OH..... Audience: ,if you didn't just. stand perfectly still Me: ... i may have zero survival instincts. please be patient. 😂
Brain: OMFG WHY MUST YOU INSIST ON-- Me: I SWEAR I SWEAR!!!!! I JUST WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IT PROBABLY WONT CHANGE ANYTHING MAYBE. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN TO THE YAKUROOM WE HAVE THE PATH MEMORISED SINCE WE'VE GONE THROUGH IT SO MANY TIMESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
actually. this chase reminds me of something. you remember back on DIK Island and eiden is chasing dante on the beach and if you're foolishly optimistic enough, you can pretend they're surrounded by shoujo bubbles and flowers while they giggle and prance along the shore but reality hits and it's full of claws yeah. Eiden dreaming of a flowery situation while ACTUALLY dealing with something ... a little less peaceful. there's no end to eiden's troubles, huh.
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ok. back to it. let's see what's in the yakuroom... ]reads the new description for the anemones[
[hisses in a breath] yikes….///////////.😬 not the "anticipation" yakumo lied about…. uhm, uh,..... maybe i accidentally made it onto the true ending path. maybe it WASn"T about lying to yakumo at the campfire Brain: I am so fed up with you Me: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 WAIT!!! NOW I'M IN THE ROOM ALONE!! TIME TO READ HIS DIARY AND GO THROUGH ALL THE STUFF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO CHECK YEAAAAAAAAAAA Brain: all this hiding stuff ,,, feels like... being held captive in an unhealthy relationship, bro Me: you're a bit behind the plotline dude we just narrowly avoided getting devoured like pull-apart bread Brain: fair enough. carry on.
oh…. yakumo…………. baby………………………..😫😢😭😭😭…………………… eiden was so right… indulgence is NOT necessarily the best step… urrgh,, eiden you are so cool and emotionally smart and skilled and i'm so glad you can navigate these messy social waters better than i ever could..!! especially when so much is at stake 😨
wait. why is there a flesh maze in the first place? Audience: it's yakumo's braaaaaaaaain and what are the weird holes?? Audience: yakumo's brain on DRUGS!!!!! we're running around in yakumo's brain on drugs, full of dead ends. Got it!
then we're talking to yakumo in the shifting void: my expression the entire time is EYES BulGING. FACE FROZEN. MOUTH IS :| I AM SO STRESSED
gets reset
SUNUVA ABITCHUOIGFHFHFHFFIEOFDSRDFKOWAPESOI I ANSWERED WRONG, DIDN'T I I DIDN'T MATCH THE RIGHT NAME TO THE RIGHT ACTIVITY i"M GONA FEAUISRHGOIEFRIEOSGPAWEFISPIPDKAESEPFESFAFPGO 8CRAKCS OPEN YAKUMO'S DIARY we're MEMORISING THIS WE ARE EMBEDDING IT INTO OUR LONG TERM MEMORY. LET'S GO COME ON! WE WILL DO THSI!!!!!!!!!!!
Brain: Wait. How did you answer the clan member section wrong Me: um. i. well, i just based it off memory. i didn't think the number of blank spaces meant anything….. Brain: dude. the number of blank spaces SPELL OUT THE NAME OF THE CORRECT PERSON, SO MAYBE THEY MATTER. Me: oh. uhhhh. ahahahaha. well. it's 2AM. we've been at this for a while. i don't think i'm picking up on obvious clues anymore. um...not that i was picking up on them earlier either….. Brain: facepalm faceslap deskpalmdeskface sigH
oh. OH!! ok, so!! trying it again!! eiden moves closer with every right answer, right?! yeah! so! we might be able to reach yakumo if we-- AH SHITE HE DIDN'T MOVE FORWARD FOR THAT ONE
gets reset
OH COME ON!!!!!! YAKUMO!!!!!!! YOUR LOVE IS WAY TOO INTENSE YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE I'M GETTING DELIRIOUS FROM EXHAUSTION I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS <- will continue doing this until I GET THE ULTIMATE HAPPY ENDING FOR THESE TWO. DON'T CARE IF MY EYES DRY OUT. WE HAVE TO DO THIS TONIGHT
reloads last save YAKUMOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [YELLING INTO THE VOID]]] YAKUMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PSPSPSPSPSPSSPSPSPSPSSS COME HERE SAD SNAKEY THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM! I"LL GET YOU THIS TIME, YOU ACCURSED OVERBEARING SNAKE
i wonder what happened when eiden locked himself in yakumo's room. did that door slamming in yakumo's face wake him up a little? did yakumo regain a bit of sense, like, "OH NO MR EIDEN DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME... I'VE SCREWED UP..." because i feel like if he really wanted to, he could... idk, phase thru the door or just break it down or something but he didnt
so, does that mean he still respects eiden's agency in that sense? did he immediately deflate when he lost direct sight of eiden? ? ? like one of those predators in a trance where if you remove the target from their sight they just kinda... flop like fhlkjlbbvvvbvrnrmbrbr.
did yakumo immediately start crying and sulking and wallowing like "ohhhhh i'm so horrible how could i have thought of hurting mr eiden i can't believe i was about to vore him i'm so hopeless and terrible and i've screwed it all up and --- etc.etc."
and curled up into a ball and that's where we find him in the void later? he slinks off to some one dead end of the flesh maze and stews in his silent sadness until eiden emerges from the room and finds him...🤔? and tries to talk to him..? oh please oh please let eiden reach yakumo this time ----
Yakumo: Mr. Eiden--
[I IMMEDIATLEY START SCREAMING IN MANIC EXCITEMENT] YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEAT THE LOOP, BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE WOKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bashing my head repeatedly on my desk at6 the pretty picture AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :'3 and now i'm smiling… oh…. my heart… they're going to be ok…. yakumo is going to heal…. …… WAIT DID I EVER GET AN OFFICIAL ENDING #3? IS THERE STILL ANOTEHR ENDING?! I HAVE TO GO BACK IN
Brain: you NEED TO GO TO SLEEP
Me: I DON'T NEED SLEEP I NEED YAKUEI ANSWERS goes into an old save ok. what if THIS TIME i DON'T tell yakumo about kuya? ….. ………. OH THE HALLWAY WON'T EVEN LET ME IN. OK 😫 ALRIGHT SO THAT'S NOT AN ENDING BRANCH. but. BUT! THAT MEANS I WAS RIGHT ! Mr Eiden SHOULD feel free to tell yakumo what's bothering him! HAHAHAAH!!!! ONE CORRECT DECISION MADE !!! SUCCESS!!!!! Brain: you could have reloaded a save file where you did something ELSE wrong, you know. it's not like you're actually keeping track of which-- Me: YYou know what. i'm satisfied. i got the good ending after evENTUALLY figuring things out! i played the game!! i did it !!! i can finally check the guide and see what i actually missed. aahhh. what a feeling of accomplishment. my eyes are indeed dry and burning. I REGRET NOTHING!!! I have felt many emotions tonight and i will not forget this Experience…
reads the guide omg i gotta go back in the game and find the extra content THIS IS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP
The first time i tried pulling rei out, i felt so bad that i never tried again because why would i want to hurt rei?? the game dialogue actually changed to include his broken bones, so that means i did substantial damage. rei is delicate!! he doesn't like pain! i will treat him gently!!!!!
If you DON'T treat him gently... Does dream rei get so fed up with Eiden's actions that he slams a book on yakumo's head and ends it all? he's like: no more. no more of this stupid dream pain. you have both found the end of my patience. [BOSS BATTLE CHIME, GAME OVER]
But the guide tells me something happens if i try 5 times. so. [does it]
i was laughuing so hard at the "well, now he's got more broken bones" BUT THEN HE ACTUALLY DIED I OH MY GOD REI I AM SO SO RYRRE SORYRR AHHHH NO I MEAN well, i . what did i think trying to . . . how many bones did i break. what a way to go. under a bookcase because a couple idiots were incapable of learning from their actions (me. I'm the couple idiots). oh… REI I'M LAUGHING BUT CRYING HOW DID THEY THINK OF THIS ENDING. WHOHOW>>??? IT'S . SO RANDOM. BUT SO HILARIOUS BUT ALSO I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF I FOOLED MYSELF INTO THINKING THAT REI WOULD BE FINE AFTER ALL THAT PHYSICAL DAMAGE WHY WOULD I EVEN BELIEVE---😂 I'M CRUSHED (not as crushed as rei AHAHAH OHHHHHH oh now i've made myself sad again)
----------------------------------------------------------- ok. time for the last thing i didn't do?
when the game first told us NOT TO WANDER, lest the knights deem us a threat, i was INTENT on wandering "after i meet aster, i'm gonna wander as much as i like!!! they can't stop me!!!! THE LAW CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN! I'm a REBEL"
i was not a rebel. i thought that daring to interact with the knight's tents AT ALL would count as "wandering". so after leaving aster's tent, i investigated all the other tents, expecting to get in trouble for interacting with the king's stuff. But punishment never came? so i thought i was getting away with something >:3 Haha!!! I wandered successfully! No. i just followed instructions without realising. I needed to NOT visit aster first. that's ACTUAL wandering. let's try that. 😑
HOLD ON I THOUGHT the King would ARREST US for trespassing and , maybe we get executed..? BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT DANTE AND BLADE AND FORCE US INTO TRAINING GIVE US A GUN AND SHOVE US INTO THE CASTLE ON A SPEEDRUN 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
OMG THE AFTER SCENE DID. DID THEY MAKE ASSETS FOR THE BROKEN STUFF TOO OR--- DID IT ALREADY EXIST---- WELL WHATEVER IT'S STILL FUNNY AS HEUEIFJISJIAOIKPAL oh… OH THIS was tHE LAST ENDING uhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I MEAN I GUESS YAKUEI ARE HAPPY IN THIS ONE, TOO but… wow… gee…….. i'm….. i need to do some thinking about all this… and the ramifications…. and… yeah……….. totters off in a daze
#wait. i never got to go inside the grain storage. NOOOO! LET ME GET A SNACK FOR YOKAI REI. PLEASE#nukani fangame#yakuei fangame#i isekai-ed (again) into a world where everyone is a kemonomimi and am forced to fight the demon king?!#what a title indeed#this started out as just a play by play commentary for the creators and now it's . just. out here. for anyone to see#i been thinking about this all week#yakumo you little freak. WHY CANT I QUIT YOU#i love eiden. how do you even write eiden? his emotional intelligence is beyond what i can even imagine#i'll try to think up a wise and fair response to a problem#and it'll STILL not be as amazeballs as what eiden would say#the fact that ... all of eiden's responses to yakumo's void questions... they were so.. he was just so COOL about everything#EIDEN U ARE SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \\\!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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the most frustrating part abt the scene with alicent and rhaenyra (other than it being ridiculous) is the attempt at portraying alicent as a passive victim with zero agency (TO BE CLEAR she's a victim of both otto and viserys, that's not a question, she had no choice there. she did, however, have a choice in other moments and those are what i'm talking abt in this post). the writers essentially made her go "oh i thought he was talking about MY aegon. well, it's too late. i am a tragic figure who never wanted war. oh no" like ?? some of us have eyes and can see that alicent has been actively trying to gain power, undermine rhaenyra, and divide the family even before the time skip. she shows up to rhaenyra's wedding late and wearing green, she sows discord between their kids, spreads rumors of rhaenyra's children being bastards despite knowing it could get them killed (+ in the book the only ppl yapping abt them being bastards were alicent and criston cole bc the point of spreading rumors was to undermine and hurt both them and rhaenyra, if it was true or not was irrelevant), and she literally hits aegon and insists that rhaenyra will kill him to cement her claim to the throne even when there's been no indication that she would. alicent did not have to do any of those things, she actively chose to
and rhaenyra was willing to leave all that in the past by marrying helaena and jace thus ending the (then metaphorical) war between their sides of the family, but alicent refused bc she wanted power and for rhaenyra to not have any, so she made active choices to ensure that, and didn't care for the consequences. now her son is the king, she never prepared him for it so he's shit at it, she can't control him, she has no power, and the only person surprised is her (and otto). but again, these are choices SHE made or helped make. making an enemy of rhaenyra, and everything that came bc of that, was a choice. she would've helped put aegon on the throne whether viserys quoted the prophecy to her or not, be it usurpation (which it was) or not. that was a choice alicent made. stop portraying her as a passive victim of the dance when that role belongs to helaena
#and before yall ask YES I AM AWARE THAT ALICENT WANTING RHAENYRA TO NOT HAVE POWER WAS PROBS A TRAUMA RESPONSE MANIFESTING AS JEALOUSY#but i need yall to understand that trauma response or not alicent still made the active choice to antagonize rhaenyra and make her an enemy#and i'm not saying alicent is the sole or even main reason the dance happened. but she played a pretty significant and active role#the way the show is changing so much abt team green to make them likeable is insane actually#aemond is literally remembered by history as AEMOND THE KINSLAYER yet the only person who's been referred to in that way so far is rhaenyra#they erased rhaenyra and laena's friendship and just had alicent take laena's place#not to mention in the book alicent is a grown woman beefing with like a 9yr old rhaenyra#the writers changed nearly everything about her so she'd be more palatable + likable (and so would the greens by extension)#and they've also made team black mellow + passive and uninteresting (esp jace) which i also hate#like if this is gonna be an “everyone is bad” story then why are all their rough edges softened. why won't they let them just be unlikeable#why is the writing essentially saying “men bad and want war but women good and want peace” THATS NOT COMPELLING AT ALL#house of the dragon#meta#hotd meta#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#my meta
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i'm actually pretty far into my Picard-era Voyager reunion fic (about 6k out of.... probably 9k or so) but i'm a bit insecure about it because every other longer fic i've written has been a little more insightful & deeper whereas this feels too surface level for my tastes. like i enjoy writing it. and i'd enjoy it if i was just a reader rather than a writer. it's fun to catch up with these characters and figure out how their relationships have changed and write some banter but idk it's just not clicking the way my other recent published fics have.
#yes yes i know not everything has to be that deep and i'm writing this *because* it's a fun fluff piece to break up the serious stuff a bit#but i think at the end of the day i'm just not a good fluff writer. i need angst. i need some sort of plot.#i also made a stylistic choice to only write from one perspective#and i stand by it. i think it still works#but it is a bit annoying because my default response to “this scene is getting uninteresting” to me is to switch pov#anyways i need to stop being too self-critical. at the end of the day it's fanfic. i'm doing this for fun and for free#not every one will be a banger#i am very much hoping to finish it by the end of the year though#writing woes#(also i keep seeing the recent “worst star trek show” poll go around here and like. i get why ppl don't like Picard. i sympathize with#a lot of the criticisms even if i don't 100% agree. but also while the show is bumpy it's given me so much creative inspiration the past#year and a half. and constantly seeing negativity about it is kinda tanking my motivation to write anything for or around the show and#:( i get it but also i can fix her. idk i know i just need to get over it and focus on what makes me happy & inspired)
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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I am once again feeling sad and unappreciated on main
#how come when other ppl send fics on discord theres always ppl reading them right away and sending messages to talk abt it#when i do it *crickets* 99% of the time#maybe i'll get smth like ''yay'' or ''woo'' in response but no one has ever said shit abt the actual content of my fics4#WHAT. AM. I. DOING. WRONG.#NO ONE EVEB FUCKIGN CLICKSD ON MY NEW FIC ONE FUCKING HIT NO KUDOS LITERALLY WHY#i stg that dream i had where someone said they liked my ideas but would never read any of my fics bc they hate my writing style#wasn't even a dream it was just a vision that's 100% true#im sorry im not spiraling over thie specifically there's a million other more serious reasons im upset but this is just the straw that broke#the camel's back man im breaking down
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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..... In writing my AU/self-insert character of Runner Five I have discovered that what I thought where 'her character flaws' are actually MY flaws as a person.
#I have exposed myself to myself#how am I just now realizing that I struggle with these things more than I thought#and that I'm literally giving the correct answers in response of how to deal with these flaws through the other characters in the work#especially Sam#how is this happening to me what in the world#WDYM I STRUGGLE WITH THAT???#HOW AM I ONLY NOW REALIZING BC I WAS WRITING IT OUT IN A TENSE SCENE???#AND NOW I HAVE TO TAKE MY OWN ADVICE THAT SAM GAVE TO FIVE THAT I MADE HIM GIVE TO HER AND JUST--????#writing works in mysterious ways but God works in even MORE mysterious ways#the fact that He is revealing what I need to work on through fanfiction is just really funny to me#and also embarrassing and makes me want to scream in my pillow for reasons#why#sunkissedliterarylightofchrist#writing#thanks God for being good#now I need to go on a 5 day hike and contemplate my life#and my fanfiction#argh
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LET THE ANGST RISE
RISEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#i won't lie i don't even know when i'll finish this draft#but i just started it now lol (procrastinating on my actual work rn)#lolol#oh and if anyone's wondering why it's just dialogue right now#it's because i usually write down all of the dialogue in a fic first as a 'blueprint' of sorts#and just fill in everything in between the dialogue lmao#again i am procrastinating my actual irl things doing this 💀#i can't do this anymore i want my freedom to write and read all day with no other responsibilities sobsob
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How do I get things done?
How do I not get stressed about one thing I have to do and have it keep me from accomplishing anything else? How do I manage to buy groceries and take my cat to the vet and still sit down to draw? How do other artists do studies, finish personal work and other projects, cramp in appointments, chores, handle social media and keep in touch with friends without feeling absolutely stressed out...? I can't figure it out. I can only do one of these things in a day and... I don't get it. What is your secret
#wondering what is wrong with me#I've tried making lists#making a schedule#it's not helping#I'll have breakfast and suddenly it's 11 am and I have take a walk and also shower at some point and of course my livestream starts at 9pm#and don't forget to eat and text your friends and there's a letter you gotta send and this email needs a response#oh you wanted to draw or write? sorry day's over get some sleep we'll try again tomorrow#only that it'll be the exact same thing tomorrow#and if I'm real lucky I'll be in a bad mood and manage to accomplish even less than usual#and did I mention I'm not even working?#other people can do it so why. am. I. so. bad. at. this??#something to bring up with my therapist I suppose
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sometimes I remember that fic that had a Rabbi condemn a character for having a life saving abortion and spiral all over again.
#i left what I consider to be a fairly polite comment about how that would never happen#and the author said yeah they just wanted to use something Jewish because (character) is jewish#which is nice! I truly appreciate the thought!! it just would never happen#and I don't mean that in a general way I mean there is not a rabbi who deservws the title#be they orthodox or conservative or fucking chasidish that would say these things#and I don't know if the author was Jewish based on their response they were not#which pisses me off even more#i am telling you this is incorrect. changing it to a priest would have changed nothing#and I know!! I know no one owes me anything!!!#but why are you even bothering at this point if you don't care to get it write#right
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