#that's true but also bitch.....you had a good reason not to???? like you can't do both you just gotta live with it
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Petition for Harry to befriend a mindreader who carries a spray bottle and just sprays him with water every time he expresses his hero complex/he believes everything is his fault.
"I'm such a terrible person" "O h m y g o d shut UP!"
#the dresden files#it's so annoying#like sure he could 100% use a therapist but babes not everything is your fault#when he blames himself for something Murphy did I want to lose my shit#it's almost like this is her job#she wouldn't have done it if i'd explained#that's true but also bitch.....you had a good reason not to???? like you can't do both you just gotta live with it
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Americano PT. 15 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: hihi, just wanted to thank you all for the love for the 2 most recent chapters <33 I’m loving all messages and comments!! 💖 please enjoy this chapter and stay tuned for the last chapter tomorrow (around 20:30 CEST)🥹🤍
W/C: 3.385
part fourteen
"You know that you're allowed to be upset, right, Jude?" She asks, looking down at the tired-looking boy.
"I know, but it's disappointing.." Jude murmurs back, moving his head to look up at her. His head on her lap, as her hands delicately play with the soft, just-washed curls on his head.
It's a soothing and intimate touch, something they'd both discovered to create a calm and relaxing atmosphere.
"You can be disappointed. It's difficult feeling like you’re on top of the world one day, and the next you feel like shit."
y/n puffs out a breath, trying to reassure his thoughts and feelings with logical and rational reasoning.
Real Madrid had won the Super Cup final against their derby rivals Atletico Madrid only a week ago in Riyadh. Though, last night's loss against the exact same opponents for the Copa del Rey hadn't exactly gone the same way.
With the extra time and many yellow cards later, they eventually lost with two goals made by Atletico, throwing Real Madrid out of reach of the win in a very dramatic fashion.
It was a whirlwind of a week for Jude, and to him- all he needed was someone to help him sort his thoughts out.
"You can't change anything about the past, not even when you fret and ponder about it for years. You can only look forward and change what you think you can, think winning the league or even the Champions League, Jude…” She says, leaning back against the couch, warm fingertips hovering above his hairline.
"You sound like a motivational speaker.." He voices, chuckling while watching her recline on the couch.
"Well, what I'm saying is true. Like- when I thought you moving in would be the end of my life- it turned into- this.."
She points at him and back to herself, making a dramatic gesture.
"End of your life? That's harsh." He frowns, grasping her hand to prevent her from poking his eyes out.
"Well, then let's not remind you of the times I've wanted to punch you right across the face, wanting to wipe that smirk off your lips and-"
Her voice is cut off by his hand, it clamped over her mouth as only muffled noises escape from her lips.
"Should I feel threatened?" He questions, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows, only to groan as she pokes her tongue through her lips. He removes his hand, wiping his wet hand on his trousers as he sits up from his position.
"No, I'm sure you also had hateful thoughts about me. I definitely cannot blame you.." She trails off, trying to recall anything pertaining to the topic.
"You were pretty annoying." He states, clicking his tongue. Jude fixes his position, making sure he's sitting comfortably.
"Annoying?"
She had expected the description and would definitely understand why, but why did it hurt a little bit?
Noticing the change of expression on her face, Jude grabs onto her hand, pressing a soft, tender kiss on her knuckles.
"-but in a good way!" He adds quickly, eyes raised in panic.
Of course, the words she'd just uttered were way harsher in comparison to his, though it being said explicitly and clearly for the first time since they'd met, it stung like a bitch- to y/n, at least.
"You would always say or do something that riled me up so badly. I remember when you first started interviewing me- and you'd switch from snarky comments off camera to acting like the sweetest, most kind person to me. I thought; 'Oh? So, this is how two-faced she can be?'."
"But, you'd also have moments where you'd confuse me so much." Jude looks up, leaning in to press multiple, back-to-back kisses on her temple.
"When?" She asks, eyes fluttering as she soaks up the loving, sweet gesture.
"Remember that night in- Naples? When you panicked about someone breaking into your hotel room?" Jude recalls, absentmindedly pulling her closer into his side, on the couch.
"Mhm, I remember- I was so embarrassed about it.. I thought I'd have to book it out of your room immediately before you'd start making fun of me.."
"I was not going to make fun of you. That's what you thought of me?"
"I didn't know! We were bickering like- every damn second up until that point."
"No, I was genuinely surprised at first, but when you left, I couldn't even sleep properly, and I didn’t even know why..”
"Well, what's the annoying part?"
She asks, watching Jude's fingers get entangled with hers, making her grin a little.
"You were annoying in a way- which I couldn't shake my thoughts away from you if something had happened that specific day back then. I couldn't put it into words, tried to rack my brain so many times, over and over.."
"You had this long-lasting presence, and the way you spoke and acted practically got ingrained into my memory for me to repeat every night. This definitely got worse when I moved in here.."
Making eye contact again, she nods in understanding, grasping the hem of his shirt to play with.
"You thought of me, every night?" She grins, smug look replacing her once confused and sad expression.
"I knew this would enlarge your ego.." Jude chuckles, placing another kiss on her cheekbone, before he's interrupted by a text message popping up on his phone.
"Who is it?" y/n asks, glancing up when Jude shows her the screen.
"It's my mum.." He simply says, eyes skimming over the lengthy message. After a minute of silence, he looks back at his curious girlfriend.
"She's just trying to comfort me like you have been. Asks if she can come over for tea.." He informs, hand reaching to wipe away a single fallen lash stuck on her cheek.
"Oh, that's sweet. Of course she can-.." y/n trails off, eyes darting away from the iPhone and onto her lap. Fingers starting to fidget with the loose threads on her used sweatpants.
Getting a comforting, reassuring text message from your own mother..
Something the young girl could not even dream of. Let alone speak to her own mother ever again, at least in this lifetime.
The thought makes her smile uncomfortably, though there's absolutely no positive emotion behind it, skin around her eyes crinkling in fake happiness.
"y/n?" Jude whispers, noticing the change in her demeanor and the tensing of her shoulders.
"Hm?" She hums back, her eyes darting up and locking with his brown ones.
"You okay?"
Jude is in love, not stupid.
Seeing his girlfriend's entire mood change, just at the mention of his mother isn't something he wants to just skim over.
There was absolutely nothing going on between her and his mother. In fact, after his parents had been informed of their oldest son's affection for her, they welcomed her into the family within a heartbeat.
It wasn't either of the two who told them, instead- y/n's understandably protective father had told them. This came after he'd talked to Jude privately, grilling him with questions only a father would make up- and of course the intentions question was asked, like they weren't just young people trying to figure out their lives.
In reality, her father had long approved of the idea of the two young adults having a relationship. The times he was home and present with them, he'd slowly noticed the way they had warmed up to each other.
Not to forget, months ago, his daughter had burst into his office- asking for him to handle something for her. Puzzled at his own daughter needing legal help for 'online defamation, because they think I’m dating that douche', he'd dropped everything to listen to her- only to end up laughing at the end of her dramatic and insulting (towards Jude, of course) speech.
It wasn't difficult, as an experienced adult, to guess where the young adults' relationship would go from there.
"y/n.." Jude calls out again, placing a hand on her shoulder, shaking slightly to snap her out of her thoughts when she doesn't reply.
"I'm just thinking.." She finally says, wanting to lie- but realizing that he is, in fact, her boyfriend now- it might be better in the long run, to be honest.
"About what?" His eyes flicker up, a warm hand pulling her in closer. Realizing the comfort or warmth she might need to open up and speak.
"I just feel sad.." The confession is quiet, looking down, she grasps onto the hem of her sweater. Trying to keep her emotions at bay, because this conversation was about comforting him, and not about trauma dumping on the already upset boy, she thought.
Jude blinks, looking over his girlfriend's defeated figure. The gears in his head twist and turn, trying to decipher what she meant with her words.
"Do you want to tell me why?" He asks, trailing a hand up, pinching her chin with his pointer finger and thumb, raising her head to make eye contact.
Her eyes glimmer with emotion when they lock with his chocolate brown ones, the corners of her mouth twitching as she tries to contain the tremble of her lips.
Though, it's insanely difficult, especially when multiple emotions are swirling around her mind, and the suppressing of the tears causes a sharp pain to pass through her temples.
She grunts softly, not being able to hold back anymore, the pressure in her head worsening.
Tears pool against her waterline, and she closes her eyes. Allowing a soft whimper to escape her lips, tension dropping from her shoulders, as y/n stops suppressing her emotions.
Jude's eyes widen, his breath hitching in surprise as he watches his new love practically crumble in front of him.
"Oh, baby.." Jude coos breathily, the soft, foreign term of endearment falling from his plump lips.
He moves his hands immediately, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her onto his lap.
y/n instantly presses her face against his shoulder, grasping onto the fabric of his shirt. Her tears darken the blue shirt, as Jude's hand rubs against her back in a tender manner.
"You're okay, honey.." He whispers, pressing multiple kisses along her temple and cheek, rubbing soft, soothing circles on her back.
"Why don't you tell me what's wrong, hm?" He soothes, his voice deeper than usual, offering sweet and reassuring words to the crying girl.
"I- don't even remember how her voice sounded or what her personality was like.." I whisper, raising my palms to harshly wipe my annoying tears away. They just kept pouring out of my eyes like the damn Niagara Falls..
"Look at me, love.." Jude whispers tenderly, grabbing my wrist to remove my hands from my face. I can't help but feel tingles down my spine at the word he refers to me with.
The Brum accent combined with his deep, raspy evening voice- melting my heart instantly. It distracts me from my breakdown for a single moment, and I shift my eyes back to his, just like he asks me to.
"Take a deep breath for me, yeah?" He says, pressing a kiss on the back of my hand.
I nod at his words, taking a single, deep breath, before releasing when he tells me to..
"Good- you're so good for me, baby.." He gives me a small, satisfied smile, kissing my cheek again. He moves his hands, pulling my head back onto his chest, running his hand down my back.
"This okay?" He asks, making me nod. I sigh again, nuzzling my face against his hard chest.
I had just spilled my entire heart out to the boy whom I had sworn to hate for the rest of my life, only a few weeks ago.
The topic wasn't something I had openly talked about since I was a teenager in my psychologist's office back in London. It hurt way too much to talk about with friends, and it felt like opening up a bigger wound when speaking to my own family about it.
I mean, it couldn't ever get easy- talking about losing your blood and flesh, let alone your own mother. In my case, the person who had gone through hours of labor and delivery- creating me from her own nutrients and energy.
There was absolutely no way I’d ever comfortably tell someone that my mother had passed away in a violent car crash.
An accident that had occurred only because little five-year-old me wanted my mom at my graduation to primary school.
I had gone through years and years of therapy, though, of course, to me nothing could actually take away the wound and grief it had caused a young me.
I couldn't sleep some nights, mind trying to remember anything about my mom. Since I had lost her so young, I could only recall her face from old photographs and home videos taken by my dad.
"Yeah.." I mutter, eyes closing as I try to ground myself. Taking in the beating of Jude's heart against my ear and his musky cologne.
"Need anything?"
"No, just you.."
I feel his chest vibrating as he chuckles, the sound reaching my ears and filling me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
"I'm here, love. Take your time, and we'll wash up before my mum comes over.." I feel his hand against my back, caressing from my nape all the way to the small of my back.
I hum in understanding, eyes fluttering shut as I try to calm down, taking my surroundings in.
"Okay.."
'Meet me in the lobby'
'Security won't stop you'
'We have free time for a couple hours'
I stare at the incoming text messages, my eyes darting to the sender. Only to read Jude's contact name.
I sit up from my bed, slipping on the hotel slippers immediately, and walk over to the bathroom. Trying to fix my appearance before I realize I don't know what I'm getting ready for.
I snatch my phone from the bathroom sink, sending a quick message back to Jude. I wait for a couple seconds, busy with applying mascara, until I hear a notification sound.
'For some dessert, love'
'Dress casual, I'm in sweats and a jacket'
'I don't want to look like a fool next to you'
I chuckle at the reply, nodding as if he can see me before sending a quick message back.
I eventually make my way down to the lobby, looking around and trying to be as discreet as possible. Hoping other staff members and players didn't think of going down as well.
So far, the only people who had figured us out were Luis and Lina. I mean, I couldn't exactly keep it that much of a secret after they'd sneaked a glance at my home screen when I had left to print something.
They had been nosy after seeing someone text me, and when they read that it was Jude- I could've sworn they died and came back to life in a span of two minutes.
I look around quickly when I step out of the elevator, finally catching a familiar black puffer jacket. I grin to myself, making a beeline towards him, and whispering a small 'boo!' when I touch his shoulder from behind.
"Hey! Shhh.." His eyes enlarge comically, and I feel him grab onto my hands almost instantly.
"I'm quiet.." I whisper, giving him a toothy smile as he drags me out of the hotel lobby, out onto the streets of Valencia.
I allow Jude to walk in front of me, our hands intertwined, as he suddenly stops in a less busy area of the street.
I raise my brows as he turns around, watching a smile form on his handsome face.
"Hi?" I begin, pulling a confused face.
"Hi.." He replies, chuckling softly, before he pulls me into a warm embrace. His breath hitting my neck as he plants a kiss on my lips and cheek.
"I missed you." Jude says, pulling back to look at me, while his arms encircle my waist, keeping me warm.
"Well, you could have seen me a couple hours ago, after the match- but you stormed into the changing room after you got that red card.."
I sigh, recalling the absolute shitshow of a match against Valencia a couple hours ago. The referee couldn't do his fucking job, there were multiple VAR checks, and the blowing of the final whistle- resulted in the disallowance of the winning goal, scored by Jude. Eventually, he got red-carded for dissent.
Nothing surprising, actually..
I watch a guilty expression form on his face, forehead wrinkles showing as he frowns at me.
"Well, I'm sorry about that- did I scare you?"
"No? Why would it scare me? I wanted to punch that referee too.." I make multiple punching movements, hitting Jude on his chest once.
"Hey, hey- don't get violent, little Miss, you can't use physical violence here.."
I chuckle at his change of voice, dropping my hands to my sides, and grabbing his hand.
"Sorry, sir. Any reason you've called me down here?" I tease, watching him smile at me, before he squeezes my hand affectionately.
"Let's get some ice cream. I saw a decent looking place on Google Maps.."
"Oh, what flavors do they have?" I ask, mouth watering at the thought of having good-quality ice cream.
For me, it didn't matter the weather. Ice cream could be consumed any time of year, as long as I craved it.
Jude tugs at my hand, indicating he wants us to start walking to the ice parlor he'd seen. I follow him mindlessly, paying more attention to his words than to where we're going.
"Umh, they have 'chocolate' and 'fresa' and, of course, 'vainilla'.."
I laugh at his sudden use of Spanish, quirking my brow up as he starts naming the basic ice cream flavors one by one.
"Are you just trying to show off how much you've improved your Spanish skills?" A huge smile tugs at my lips, my eyes roaming over his proud, cocky expression.
"No, just slipped out of my mouth. I must be getting the hang of it.."
"Sure, Mister. Now give me the directions in Spanish.."
I tease, trying to challenge him, but chuckle when he shakes his head violently.
"It's just straight this way.."
I scoff, rolling my eyes at his bad excuse.
Watching a small smile form on his lips.
"Sure, let's just go straight ahead then.."
The couple’s very spontaneous ice cream date is ended by the both of them chugging a bottle of water. The once very craved cold and creamy dessert now regretted by how big and sweet their portions were.
"That's a cute bicycle.." y/n mutters, not paying attention to where she's walking. Instead, Jude is holding her hand and looking out while they walk back to their hotel.
"Do you know how to ride a bicycle?" She asks Jude, looking up at the focused boy, busy navigating their way back.
"Of course I can. My dad taught me before I showed interest in football.."
"Mhm, that must've been fun.." She mumbles, fixing her jacket.
While the couple is intrigued by the small, new facts they were learning about each other, they don't notice the very few people walking past them in the streets.
Most of the pedestrians walk in a hurry, minding their own business, on their phone, or listening to music- trying to get home before it gets too dark outside.
Though, sadly, what they also don't notice is, the flash of a camera- directed right at them. Not knowing the predicament that would follow if they were sold off and posted on the internet.
The couple is happy in their own bubble, their hands warm from holding hands, unlike their noses, which froze up in the cold wind.
Just like other pedestrians trying to get back to their hotel, wanting to go unnoticed and undisturbed.
#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham imagine#jude x reader#jude bellingham x reader#jude#jude bellingham#football imagines#football fanfic#football#footballer x reader#football blurb#football imagine#bellingham x reader#bellingham#real madrid fc#real madrid
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Attitude
Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Reader
Genre: smut 😈
Request: Yes. No comment.
Summary: Charles is pent up and needs to do something with it. The reader needs Max to come help her with him.
Warnings: spanking, choking, subspace, lots of dirty talk, praise, degradation, anal, oral (both receiving), daddy kink
Notes: a lestappen sandwich?!
Masterlist
If you looked at the trio, the first words in your head would be ridiculous. It's unconventional. It shouldn't work. All the dumb stuff that people say that only makes all three of them smile and laugh about it later.
It works for them. They all love each other. Their dynamic is not anyone else's business. The more interesting part is how they all fit together in their own little world.
Max is the most outgoing and protective. He's aggressive, but he's also incredibly sweet. She blames his daddy issues for his want (need?) to be in control of things. This also goes for sex. He's good at it, too. He just has a way of working tactically that makes her shiver at the thought.
On the opposite side, she is quiet and gentle. Christian lets her follow Max around like a lost puppy some days if he's in a mood. Why? Mad Max can't make an appearance if she's holding his hand. Don't get her wrong, she would bitch slap somebody if she needed too. But for the most part, she'll simply do as told.
Then there's Charles. He is the lovely gray area between them. The Monegasque isn't assertive for himself, but if it comes to the other two, then he's willing to commit war crimes (at least that's how it feels). He's Max's source of understanding with driving, and he takes care of the female when people are asking too much of her.
He is also a switch, interestingly enough. He will, and has, tired every role. Some days, he prefers to tag team her with Max, others he prefers to just take what Max gives. It depends on his mood, and it always makes for interesting nightly (all times of day, really) activities.
One thing about Charles is that he has separation anxiety. If her and Max are away from him for too long, then his temper starts to flair. Not in a bad way, his mind just wanders to every possibility of what could go wrong.
The difference is, when she's the one that gone Max can take of him. The Dutch can get him to subdrop in thirty seconds (give or take). It makes him feel better, makes him forget. It's almost like a reset button.
When Max is gone, it's much harder. She's tried. She's tried too hard to get him to drop. Make an attempt at playing into Max's usual role. But she can't figure it out for the life of her. Whether she's too gentle or doesn't say the right things, she has no idea.
Max and Charles have told her ample times that it's not her responsibility. Yet the little voice in her head screams at her to make it better.
That's probably the reason she's letting Charles bruise her.
Max had to fly back to England during the winter break for a couple of weeks. Charles, as per usual, was getting frustrated by day three of no Max. She cuddled him, made him food, and watched movies. She once again tried to help him sexually, but the pent-up anxiety and frustration just kept coming, and she was starting to lose faith in herself.
Halfway through the second week, she'd called Max half sobbing. She felt clueless on what to do. Not even Lando, with all of his anxiety soothing tactics, were helping. He'd reassured her it would work out fine, that Charles says things when he's anxious, but none of it is true (the biggest being Max is going to die).
Then, she decided to switch tactics. Sue called Christian and pleaded with him to send Max home early because both her and Charles are sick (ly in need of his sexual assistance). Christian relented cause he owed her a favor anyway, and Max was to be home late that evening.
What she was not expecting was for Charles to slam her against the wall. It took her off guard when he started begging to use her body. She complied, offering herself up like a Christmas present with a bow on top for him to unwrap. It's nothing new for her. Being manhandled and fucked into next year.
But this is Charles. Her gentle Charles. Eyes dilated with lust and hands litterally ripping her clothes off. Her Charles that takes at least ten minutes to communicate, getting straight into it. Charles who lays light kisses to her most sensitive areas, now biting and sucking like he's a starving vampire.
In reality, this was not her plan. Max was going to come home and give Charles what he actually needs that she can't provide.
"Fuck chéri, you really are a slut." He slaps her clit and it drags a whine out of her. "A dirty whore, gonna let me use you? Hmm?"
She nods her head vigorously. Her head felt foggy a few minutes ago, but now she's just gone. Mind desperate to please and give what he needs. Let him take every piece of her that he so desires.
First, he takes her mouth. Her head hanging upsidedown off the bed. His cock hitting the back of her throat consistently, angrily. She's choking, crying, and finding it difficult to breathe. He still took care of keeping her hands on him so she could tap out, but she wasn't going to. Her mind repeats the same words over and over again.
Finally, his hips stutter, and he's trying to keep himself upright. It's sticky down the back of her throat, but she could care less. Charles is moaning and panting, and it satisfies that need in her head to please him.
But it's not enough. She doesn't get time to recover. Charles drags her by the knees back onto the bed fully. He pins her waist down with one hand and shoves her legs open with the other. A sharp stinging sensation is laid to the insides of her thighs. She screams in surprise but he doesn't relent.
"Such a good toy. Are you going to be a good slut for me and and let me spank you?" She cries as her thighs touch when she rolls over for him. She whines out a little 'yes sir' and braces for his hand to meet her skin.
"Count and say thank you."
Something in her mind snaps. Is she being punished? Or is she being used? Cause in her mind those are two different thing.
Slap.
"One... thank you sir."
He's not like Max at all. Her head is too fuzzy to really remember things, but she's certain Max always clarifies.
Slap.
"Two... thank you sir."
She's not sure she's going to make it through however many he plans on. So she just takes it.
Slap.
"Ten... thank you sir."
She aches in every are. She wants to please. She needs to please. It is her purpose.
Slap.
"Sixteen... thank you sir."
Her words are slurred. She can't talk. Her mouth feels impossibly dry. Her tears have soaked into the sheets beneath her.
She sobs as Charles flips her again. There is a small part of her that thinks if he keeps manhandling her like this, she might finish without doing anything else. It's not going to take much with how close she is already.
Once again, her legs are spread. His hands grip her waist. Then he sheaths himself inside of her. There is no pause, simply pace. It's relentless and has her wailing.
Then nothing.
It's like time freezes. There is no movement. Charles has even stopped breathing.
She pulls her eyes open. The sight of Max, his grip halting every movement Charles can make, meets her eyes like he's an angel sent to fix this.
"Did you really think you could dom our girl, Charlie? You can't even take care of yourself." Max forces Charles to really look at her. The damage he'd done to her body as clear as day. "Do you see what you've done? What were you trying to achieve here?"
She can actively feel Charles melting. She can see his eyes getting glassy. They probably match now. If she were coherent, she would be upset that Max managed to make him drop with a couple of sentences. For now, she'll stick to not thinking and writhing around in pain.
She suddenly feels empty without Charles in her. Max had pulled him out of her. "Knees. On the floor. Hands behind your back." Max's demanding tone makes her feel all warm and fuzzy.
His calloused fingers dance across her beat thighs. She hisses at the sting but doesn't flinch away. "Who do you need right now, schat? Do you want me to be sir and keep being rough? Do you want me to be daddy and give you something soft?"
She feels stupid just staring at him in awe. Her mind is not able to fathom how good-looking he is. She curses her brain. She thought the same thing as Charles was using her for everything she had.
"Come on love. I need you to stay with me. Need you to tell me your colors."
"Green, Daddy. Mm green. I tried to help..." it comes out a slurred mumble, and she hopes he can understand her.
"Daddy's gonna take care of you now, yeah? Have you cum yet?" She shakes her head no and goes back memorizing his face.
Max moves away from her, and she whines at the loss of contact. She can only watch as Max gets a hold of Charles' thick brown locks. The Monegasque moans at the force.
Max brings him to his feet and again forces his gaze onto her. "She hasn't even finished yet, Charles. If you want me to fuck you out of this mood then you're going to fix your mess first."
She's shocked at how easily Max maneuvers Charles into position. There is no hesitation for Max to shove his tongue into her core.
Fuck does she whine. She moans. She writhes. She wails as his tongue swirls around her clit.
Her hands find his hair, which only amplifies his moans. Max is behind him, working him open for whatever he has planned. She assumes, based on the level of moans and pants, that Max is touching his prostate in very clinical ways.
Finally, she's asking for it. Begging for her release that she has waited for, been used for.
"Cum for me. Let Charles taste all of you."
The pleasure she'd been dipping her toes in is now swallowing her whole. Her body spasms and her muscles contract. Charles has to keep her knees apart so her can help elongate her high.
She can barely breathe when her body settles. Sweat drips down her face along with another set of tears. Charles also lies flat, staring up at her like a puppy who's gotten in trouble. Which isn't to far from the truth, she thinks.
"Colors?"
A course of breathy "green" echoes through the room. Max then moves to the side of her. He kisses her skin. He tells her how good she is. Then he immediately goes back to situating their bodies.
"Okay, Charlie, I'm going to give you what you want. I'm going to fix this attitude problem." They end up in a position that is less fun for Charles, easy for her (despite the weight at times) and very fun for Max.
Every movment brings Charles more stimulation. Max moves his hips back and forth. In and out of both simultaneously. He is taking Max from behind while she lets him stretch her once again.
She's already to far gone to really notice everything that's happening. However. Charles is looking at her like she's the most amazing creature he's ever beheld.
"Apoligize to her, and maybe I'll let you move faster."
Charles begins dripping in apologies. "I'm so sorry, amour. I wasn't being careful. Just wanted to feel good. Please- fuck- I'm so sorry."
"S'okay, Charlie." Is what she manages. Though she's sure it isn't coherent.
Max picks up the speed. This time, praising them both. It's dirty and relentless. The words leaving his mouth are filthy to most, but to her, they create a sense of pride.
"My good sluts. Taking what I give you."
Charles is begging for it. She would be too if Max hadn't told her she didn't have to ask. To which she realizes it's probably not helping the Monegasque to have cum around him multiple times now.
Finally, Max relents. Charles collapses into a writhing spasming mess. Max's hands are all over his body, dragging the high out as much as he can.
Then they are curled up together. No sexual intent, just cuddles. Max In between the two, stroking hair and backs.
He didn't want to try and bathe them or start icing mucles and bruises so far into the head space. So he settles for kisses and sweet words instead.
"Mm sorry for being to hot headed."
"You don't have to be sorry for your emotions, Charles. But you also need to be in a good headspace if you're going to dom like that." Max turns and kisses his cheek. "I am glad your feeling better."
Max glances the other direction when he hears light snores coming from the female.
"Do you think she'll still trust me?"
"If she didn't trust you, then she wouldn't have continued. Just make nit to try that again for a while. I didn't think you had it in you to try that."
"I didn't either, to be honest."
"Next time, maybe I'll let you do that to me." Max laughs, mostly because he knows it would take a lot to get him to the point of wanting that.
Charles simply gives him a terrible wink as if to signify that he'll be holding him to that.
#x reader#fanficion#formula one#f1 fic#formula 1#racing#f1 fanfic#max verstappen#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen f1#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x charles leclerc#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fic#Charles leclerc#redbull racing#ferrari#f1#lestappen#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc#scuderia ferrari#redbull
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Sfw Hashiras Fluff Headcanons
Charachters: Gyomei, Sanemi, Rengoku, Uzui, Gyuu x fem!reader
A/n: Hey guys!! It's been a while since I write something here. So, I recently rewacth kimetsu and I'll bring content abt it and soon I'll open my request box and I'll accept requests for kny. I hope you like it ❤️
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Gyomei :
The true gentle giant And the perfect husband material too He is very kind to you and very careful with you like 24/7 He gives a lot of hugs but because he is aware of his size and strength, he tries to do his best not to break any bones in you. His arms are a very safe haven, you feel like no demon could hurt you if he had you there. If you are feeling sad for any reason, he will be by your side to help you to feel better. He will even learn the water breathe because of so much water that will come out of those eyes. He just can't stand to see you suffer or cry Gyomei will always want to keep you close on all missions and if Ubuyashiki doesn't put you two on the same mission... He'll cry a lot. You will have to give this big man a good dose of affection so that he doesn't worry so much about you, but his altruism doesn't allow him to. He also not only likes training with you (and I can tell you that he always goes easy on you because he doesn't want to hurt you in any way) but he also likes to take you to pray with him. He feels good knowing that you are safe and by his side. Get ready to see him come home every week with a different cat, he's a cat lover and can't stand the idea of seeing them abandoned on the street. Gyomei cries every day because he can't see the face of the person he loves most and who has done so much for him. And along with that, he has a habit of passing his big hands over your face to feel through touch the texture of your skin and every detail of your face. Even though he's blind, he can swear that you're the most beautiful person he knows. He's such a bbg with a huge heart❤️
Tengen :
Such a big flashy bitch with three flashy wifes He's crazy and very extroverted and if you're the shy type, be prepared to be taken out of your comfort zone. Now if you are an extrovert like him then you will do "flashy crazy things". Tengen makes no distinction between his wives and always gives the same love to all of them. You are no exception as his fourth wife. He always puts you first and if you are in danger he arrives at the speed of sound and saves you. He will also challenge you countless times to train with him. He likes to see you fight, he thinks you are strong and flashy. Tengen considers himself a "god of festivals" so I don't need to tell you that he will take you to all kinds of festivals so that you can have fun. You guys tend to go out a lot, sometimes just the you two, other times with the other wives or the two of you and the other hashiras, especially with his bestie Rengoku. (I love the dynamic between these two even though I think it should have appeared more in the anime) He is very playful and is always making jokes here and there with you, especially pranks. Be prepared cause he won't give you breaks when it comes to prank you. Jokes aside, he also recognizes when you're not feeling well and will always be there for you to cheer you up because this man don't like sad people and hates crying faces, especially if they are from his wives. He loves each one and wants to see them smiling all the time. He also gives good hugs and strong hugs. It's worth remembering that this man is also a big guy and very cozy too.
Sanemi :
It was a kind of love and hate at first sight At first, he was still a little harsh with you, although he was aware inside that he was taking it easier when training with you, that even his speech seemed softer when you were around, that his eyes didn't seem so wide with anger when you were around. Everything changed and the other hashiras also started to notice it. I bet Mitsuri, Rengoku and Tengen have been spying on him to find out why he changed. I'm sorry but I love this trio so much😭 Sanemi is not the type to show a lot of PDA to be honest but in case some guy messes with you then be prepared to have an arm over your shoulders or around your waist and at the same time watch the guy who messed with you get killed. He has a short fuse as we all know but when he and you are alone and you hold his hand and smile at him, he will blush and don't even dare point it out or he will get really pissed. In fact, you do it just to see him out of his mind. I'm sure he would love it too but he'd rather not admit it. As we also know, Sanemi is not the type to give patient and romantic love but tough love, as it was the only one he learned due to the life he had, but when he comes across you, someone who can show him the soft side of love, he will be willing to learn more from you. If he's having a bad day, he'll be quieter than usual and then you'll have to lay him against your chest and stroke his hair to calm him down. The comfort you provide him makes the hard shell around his heart break and he can open up to you. He just loves the feeling of your fingers running through the white strands of his hair. In his case, he's not the best at giving affection but if he sees your sad eyes for some reason he automatically pulls you onto his lap hugging you. If you cry, he'll want to know who he has to kill for making his beautiful girlfriend cry. He does the best he can just to see your face become happy again. When you find out from Tanjiro that his favorite food is ohagi, you often make it for him to eat and he can't help but being embarrassed about it. Inside, he loves it when you do this for him and even gets annoyed that it tastes better than when he does it but at the same time he doesn't stop wondering how you found out about ohagi being his favorite food. Tanjiro run for your life...
Rengoku :
My man🧡 He's very sweet and caring towards you. You are everything to him. Do you know all that good mood and joy that this man usually radiates? Well, that only increased when you're around him. He introduces you to everyone and everyone is happy for you two. *Bonus* Senjuro, his younger brother, adores you and supports you two a lot. You usually spend a lot of time together but when missions come up in different directions, he always says goodbye to you with big hugs and words of encouragement. I want a hug from him too🥲 He and you usually train in the afternoons and practice both breathing techniques. You also usually visit the mansions of the other Hashiras to talk since he gets along with everyone. I hope you have a deep stomach because he loves taking you out to eat and this man doesn't eat little and will want you to keep up with his pace. Expect to hear this man shout "UMAI!!" with every bite. Rengoku always shares his food if you are hungry and when you are full and can't eat any more, leave it to him, because this man eats without leaving any crumbs (literally). If you're feeling cold, he puts his hashira haori over your shoulders. I hope you have a good voice because this man has hearing problems and so you will have to shout most of the time for him to understand what you're saying. The moment he likes most is when he has you in his arms, sitting on the porch of the house, watching the sunset while he distributes small kisses on your face or temples and runs his fingers through your hair slowly until you fall asleep. He always makes sure his hugs are comfortable enough for you to feel welcomed and protected. (Man I'm crying, I'm so single😭😭) I believe he can be very clingy and even in the summer, he will always want to hug you, even if it increases the heat and you end up with your clothes drenched in sweat. He also likes to make sure he gives you enough kisses before heading out on a mission. He doesn't get embarrassed even with someone around... Even with Tengen in the background like: "MAN JUST GET A ROOM ALREADY!!" He's also the type to bring you gifts when he goes on a mission. You no longer have space to store so much of the things he brings to you. I want a Rengoku for myself, like now fr
Tomioka :
Shinobu will tease this man so much after he gets someone and he will roll his eyes every time she mentions this. It wasn't easy to get close to him at first, he was distant and his eyes were empty and expressionless. But after you showed up, things changed, you insisted on him and you both started going on missions together, going out together, eating together. You even beat him once when you both tried to see who could eat more. It was one of the first times you saw him smile and when you pointed it out, he hid his now flushed face. Tomioka is very loyal and protective of those he loves, you were one of the few people who came close to him and showed him that he is no less than anyone else and recognized his value as an hashira. He doesn't know how to talk openly about his feelings but his eyes are very good at expressing it. In public, he likes to hold your hand and sometimes he give you little squeezes when he's feeling tense or when he's tired from a mission. When alone, things are easier for him. He has more freedom to hug you and he really likes kissing your forehead and lips. I know these two can't stand each other but they have one thing in common: Just like Sanemi likes to hug you when he's having a bad day, Tomioka will also want to be in your arms and feel your affection if the things aren't going well with him. This makes him more relaxed and keeps his head cool. And like Rengoku, he also likes to give you small gifts when he returns from a mission. Tomioka's eyes don't leave you for a minute when you're around, whether at home or on a mission and especially on a mission. He has already lost a lot of people dear to him and he couldn't bear to lose you, which is why he always likes to keep his focus on you to avoid greater harm. However, if you look at him when his eyes are following you, he will look away immediately and there's no point in pointing this out to him because he won't admit it. I believe he has an overprotective side just for you, especially when someone with bad intentions passes on the same street as you two. He'll automatically put an arm around your waist which makes you look at him intrigued. You will initially think that he's jealous or something but the true is that he's just trying to protect you and make others realize that you are not alone and he always wants to show it without causing too much fuss. He is a quiet individual and likes to take it that way. Such a man of manners fr I love him ❤️
#kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba anime#kimetsu no yaiba headcanons#demon slayer#demon slayer fandom#demon slayer headcanons#demon slayer anime#tengen uzui#uzui tengen#rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro rengoku#giyuu tomioka#tomioka giyuu#sanemi shinazugawa#shinazugawa sanemi#gyomei himejima#himejima gyomei
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my acotar unpopular opinions
taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.
be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.
rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.
nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?
mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.
on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.
the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.
out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.
nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.
sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.
lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.
eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.
NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.
feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.
feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.
acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.
tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?
#anti rhysand#anti sjm#anti inner circle#anti acotar#rhysand critical#inner circle critical#acotar#acotar critical#pro nesta#anti nessian#pro eris vanserra#anti mor#this might be a controversial one
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Hoodie | Cooper Adams/Abbott x F!Reader
Gif Credit to @billy-crudup
Synopsis: I can't keep your love / I can't keep your kiss / Gave you everything and all I got was this
Warnings: She’s angsty babe, Mentions of Murder, The Butcher Mentions, Mentions of Suicide, Cheating/Infidelity, SWAT, Guns, Reader 100% is down bad for Cooper even with what he did, It’s giving Stockholm Syndrome but the reader isn’t captured by him
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4.6K
Author’s Note: You know, you can thank my manic episode for this. Also I know the song has a totally different meaning but, my brain took over and who am I to stop her?
If you would like to be tagged, please fill this out
You'd probably think I was psychotic (if you knew) / What I still got in my closet (sad but true) / I slip it on over my shoulders / Something I'll never get over / It makes me feel a little bit closer to you
Loss; the fact or process of losing something or someone. No one knows how to properly process loss – though there are no guidelines on the correct way. It comes in various shapes and sizes – not always as transparent as it is expected to be. That’s what makes the human experience so different across vast networks, everyone processes emotions in ways not one human can comprehend. It’s the equivalent to time, there are so many seconds whirling by, impossible it is to grasp how many different processors truly run for one emotion. Some cry, some wither away to nothing, some lash out, some lose their sobriety. A slim majority does not react, because to them – why would anything good stick around? Why do they deserve it? Abandonment is a fickle bitch, and something you got too used to knowing.
Learning that people weren’t a permanent staple point in life was the worst thing for you, because then you started to expect everyone to leave, at one time or another. Maybe that was the countless times it has happened to you talking but, it’s a feeling that never leaves the back of your mind. It sits there, claws at parts of your brain you’re not supposed to use, sinking deeper and deeper into every soft part of flesh until it blackens. The rot taking over, making you feel helpless until pulling away is the only option. It’s a vicious cycle that you can never seem to break, no matter how hard you try. Which sucks, expecting the worst when you more than deserve the best. And the best came in the form of an amazing, well educated, humble man.
I can't keep your love / I can't keep your kiss / Gave you everything and all I got was this
You never anticipated falling in love with Cooper Adams, or Abbott as he is now known. But sometimes you cannot anticipate destiny, but only let her play out. All it took for you was a kitten stuck in the stone foundation of your home, coming to find out four different litters were calling it home. Cooper was the one to find them, rescue all fifteen of them, and even adopt one for the station. He stayed with you as he helped to clear out the deceased bodies, as you cried holding their little forms for feeding, and as you nursed them back to full health. He was never without you, only living two houses over. Never would he lie about where he was, his wife knew all too well – but refused to get in the way of Logan and Riley seeing the kittens. She suspected, but never could find reason.
All it took for you to realize Cooper was your person, was when you were ready to leave for work and found him under your car, jacked up and tire freshly replaced. You didn’t even realize you had a flat, Cooper saw it before he was about to leave for work. He knew that your car was your lifeline, working over forty minutes away. He wouldn’t let you suffer like that, out in the cold and all, freezing your ass off with cold fingers. No, he tossed on a hoodie and cap, put himself to work and was rewarded with the promise of dinner. He held you to that, to the kitchen table, to the kitchen island, to the couch, the stairs, and lastly the bedroom – all in one night. You both knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t lie to himself; What he and Rachel had was over the second Logan turned four. They were coexisting in the same house, playing their parts to a tee without any hesitation. They kept to themselves, saying goodbyes and I love yous in front of the kids – but they knew it was done. It was you who made Cooper feel alive again – made him feel loved. He had lost that so long ago he wondered if it was real for him anymore. You’d do anything for him; Lie, hide, and even believe.
It was obvious from your fourth month into this affair that Cooper was The Butcher – an accidental slip up of coming back to you smelling of cleaning product. It was only obvious from the slight chemical irritation on his forearms, the small hives a clear reaction. It wasn’t a firehouse cleaning product but more of a hospital type – meaning that he got his hands on heavy duty stuff, which he could’ve only gotten without being suspicious through your account. Working in the medical field was a blessing but, in that moment you thought for a second it was a curse. You could see the glimmer he had for you brighten with the inclusion of tears welling, heartbroken you’d have to be his next victim. But that all changed once you held Cooper’s face in your hands, rubbing back and forth on his cheeks as you smile proudly; “I accept you, my love. We can manage, I won’t tell a soul.” If he had been honest, Cooper didn’t trust you at first. But when days turned into weeks, and those turned into months with no one coming after him, he knew he hit the jackpot.
I'm still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts / Still rocking your
Tonight, Cooper was supposed to come home to you after taking Riley to see Lady Raven, something she worked hard for over the course of six months to go. Cooper was so proud of her and the great report card she had gotten, you were proud of her as well. Lady Raven was her idol, someone she found solace in when her preteen angst was acting up. Cooper wanted to do something special for her; A night she would never forget for the rest of her life. You remember Cooper saying he visited the box office at the arena right before they closed, buying the last floor seats – the closest Riley could get to Lady Raven. It was everything he could’ve hoped for and more – though he wished he remembered to remove the receipt from his wallet, hiding it in case Riley found out. You knew he wouldn’t come over automatically, he still needed to keep the façade up, act like he was still a family man even though all he wanted to do once the kids fell asleep, was be with you.
With the concert starting early during the day, you knew Cooper wouldn’t come back to you until later tonight, around ten or eleven depending. But you missed him; The warmth of his body as he hugged you from behind, the weight of his arms against your chest, the soft feel of his stubble scraping along your cheek as he nuzzled your neck. You both were in a completely different world when you were together, at the door was his first life – with you was his second. Cooper was always adamant on the two lives not touching, which you could understand. But sometimes you wished they did, wished you could be involved in his first life without the repercussions, it was a fucked way of thinking but, nothing with Cooper made you feel rational. It made you want to be the only one – though that could never happen. At the end of the day he was coming home to you, not Rachel, and that would have to do.
The brisk October air flowed through the open living room window so quickly you didn’t hesitate to wrap Cooper’s hoodie around your torso, taking in the musky smell of his cologne and the firehouse. Cooper loved seeing you in his clothing, how happy it made you, how the gleam in your eye shone brighter with every second you wore it. When the first feel cold breeze of autumn rolled through your house a few weeks ago, Cooper quickly discarded the hoodie he had recently gotten from the firehouse, marking the eighteenth-year anniversary that he started. No effort was wasted when he came up behind you, sliding it up your arms and zipping it up neatly. For a few seconds he patted the shoulders down over your form, seeing how it hugged you beautifully. In that moment you saw it in his eyes; Love, he was in too deep too. From that day forward, you never stopped wearing it when he wasn’t home, needing to feel closer to him. To be one with him.
I used to put my hand in your pockets (holding on) / The smell of your cologne is still on it (but you're still gone) / I slip it on over my shoulders / Someone I'll never get over / It makes me feel a little bit closer to you
Grabbing at the shoulder of the hoodie, you brought it to your nose for a deep inhale – smiling softly as you smelled Cooper’s cologne, fresh from the other day. Bergamot and pine invaded your nose, causing your eyes to roll back. There was something so intoxicating about his scent, it drove you silently mad in the best way possible – you didn’t want to let that go for anything in the world. It was your way of feeling like he was with you, when he couldn’t be. Your way of grounding yourself in the moment, planning on what you two would do when he came over. Deep into the fantasy you were creating in the moment, you didn’t hear the racing sound of sirens coming down the street – see the bright flashes of red and blue lights flowing through your home, or hear the screaming until it was too late. “Logan, don’t forget to turn in your science project!”
Your ears perked up at the sound of Cooper’s voice, growing giddy at the fact you were going to see him so soon. Opening your eyes you were met with the flashes of police lights coming from the open curtains, your stomach dropping as you heard the garage door close a few houses away. Cooper. Running from the living room to the front door, you slid on your boots quicker than you could have ever guessed, slamming the door open against the wall. With Cooper’s hoodie still wrapped around your body, you walked quickly down the sidewalk where there was a small crowd gathering, seeing a limo, Rachel, Logan, Riley, and even Lady Raven standing outside of the Adams residence, SWAT officers with their guns drawn as they secured the perimeter of the house. You didn’t know what to believe or ask what was going on. But as soon as Riley and Logan ran past you to another woman’s car, you got your answer.
Rachel turned around in slow motion to see Logan and Riley off, in the midst of it all catching your eye in the crowd. Tears were welling in the corners for you, as hers were bloodshot from crying. Her arms wrapped around herself as she let her eyes roam over your torso, seeing the firehouse symbol with the big 18 in yellow font. Her slack face drew up in confusion, then to realization. Your heart was in your throat as you slowly backed away, trying to get a clear angle in the house to see what Cooper was up to. It was only then that everything caught up in your mind. They found out. They all found out Cooper is The Butcher. Your hands grew clammy, starting to shake at what this all meant. If I am ever found out sweetheart, the only way out of it is to kill myself.
I can't keep your love / I can't keep your kiss / Gave you everything and all I got was this / I'm still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts
A sob trickled out of your mouth without you realizing, tears falling heavily as you spun around to face your house. No one was giving you any attention as you cried, all probably thinking someone had died. But to you, he was close to it. With shaky fingers you managed to grab your phone out of the hoodie pocket, unlocking it quickly with your passcode. The first number up in your latest calls was Cooper from earlier today; How excited he was to see Riley so happy, how he was going to make her year with this, how did things go so wrong? Clicking on his name, you brought the phone up to your ear, hearing the three rings before it went to voicemail. “Fuck,” you whimpered, sniffling back a sob you could feel at its crest. Swallowing as you clicked his name again, and again, and again, and again, all until your phone screen went black. “Fuck!” You yelled out as you started to make your way back towards your home, but not before someone caught your arm, spinning you around in place.
You could feel how warm your face was from crying, how the salty tears dried against your cheek uncomfortably. You were shivering but not from the cold, from fear of losing Cooper. Blinking the unshed tears from your eyes, you let your pupils focus on who spun you around, being met with the dull eyes of Rachel Adams, her face stoic, yet scared. “How long?” She whispered, afraid to speak up louder. There was only one right answer, yet you couldn’t muster it out of you. Your mouth fell open to respond but, nothing came out. “Please,” Rachel sighed, her lip in a small pout for a moment as she tried to regulate her emotions. A sad smile came across your lips as you reached forth with your empty hand, holding her hand softly. “I think you know, Rachel.” It was better than giving an exact timeline, and enough to where nosy neighbors didn’t have to know either. Rachel let out the breath she was holding, a fresh wave of tears coating her eyes as she tightened her grasp on your hand. It wasn’t out of malice or anger, but closure. Giving you a smile that matched your own, Rachel rubbed your hand in both of hers, nodding before she walked off to the house.
Still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts / Still rocking your
It was time for you to do the same; Needing to charge your phone in case Cooper called. You were hoping he didn’t do anything stupid; you were hoping he was okay. “There’s a tunnel to the neighbors yard, he’s not here!” That was the last you heard before stepping back inside.
-----
Nightfall was upon you, the darkened sky matching your mood as you laid on the couch, phone on the coffee table as the news silently drones on in the background. Your eyes were fixated on the TV, fresh tears you had not been aware of were falling, covering the pillow under your head. It had been over two hours since Cooper was found out to be The Butcher. Every new channel was running the story, posting the clips from the venue of Cooper with Riley and Lady Raven. Reporters were outside of the Adams residence, covering every new detail that came up. You were sure that was highly illegal since it was active scene by the FBI, but you couldn’t find yourself to care. Not when your whole life had just been turned upside down. Your boyfriend found out to be a murderer, his wife knowing he was having an affair, everything was a mess.
Any little sound you heard coming from your window you jumped at, hoping it was Cooper. But alas, it was just another reporter staking themselves out on your lawn, wanting a hit of the newest story from this scene. You needed to see the house, everything. You needed to know if this was all real or a bad dream. Laying around on the couch was only going to get you so far – this would give you closure if he was captured, or if something else had happened. Standing up from your position on the couch, you felt yourself getting lightheaded for a moment, shaking off the imbalance for a moment before moving. As you stretched upwards to cracked everything in you, a visceral scream could be heard around the neighborhood – one full of rage and fear, one that made your hairs stand on end. You didn’t think before your feet took off, tripping over your coffee table as you scrambled out of the back door, not caring that it was left wide open. You were taking off quickly down a few houses to where a bigger crowd was starting to form, everyone in their bathrobes and jackets, trying to get in on a piece of the action.
From your angle at Cooper’s house, you couldn’t see what was happening inside but could see multiple SWAT officers going in and out. One of them had long chained handcuffs in their hand, the ones that were attached to the waist and ankles of the prisoner. The clanking of the chains was muted now by the chatter over the radios, quiet enough so not everyone could hear but, if you focused hard enough you could make it out. “The Butcher has been captured. He’s being cuffed now.” In a way you were happy to hear Cooper was just captured, and not dead. You knew how good he was on his word of suicide, not thinking twice about it but, you didn’t want to live without him. The whole life you two wanted to build together, it may not come true now but – that was okay. There was nothing stopping you from visiting him in prison, having conjugal visits – you’d do anything for him.
If you want it back / If you want it back / I'm here waiting / Come take it back / Come take it back / If you want it back / If you want it back / I'm here waiting / Come take it back / Come take it back
The large presence of officers coming out of the house caused you to focus back on the front door, pushing your way to the front of the crowd to see what was going on. Wearing a blue and red flannel, was your Cooper. Not the clean-cut Cooper the forehouse saw, that his family saw – the one always put together and smiling. No, this was your Cooper; Disheveled hair, manic look in his eyes, a smirk that could light the whole world on fire. He was in his true form, not the fake mask he put on for his family. Seeing that gleam of rage in his eyes made you smile softly, knowing exactly what he was capable of. As Cooper walked out of his home and down the front steps, he stopped halfway down the path, turning to face where you were standing. The SWAT officers had AK’s trained on him, threatening to shoot if he tried anything, but you knew they wouldn’t.
Cooper’s gaze fell to Riley’s bike on the lawn, tipped over from all the commotion. Needing to right this wrong, Cooper knelt to pick it back up, running his thick, calloused fingers over the tires, knowing he may never see Riley grow up. It killed him to think about it; He wanted to take this moment in for as long as he could. You saw the trepidation in his eyes as he stared at the bike, running his fingers over the spokes. It’s when his gaze shifted up to you, that you saw the darkness layered – the glimmer of sinister intentions, one that made your lower stomach ignite. “I love you,” Cooper silently said, mouthing to you as your eyes caught his. All you could do was smile, biting your lower lip as the tears sprang free again; Your arms wrapping around your shoulders as you hugged his hoodie tighter to your body. “I love you so fucking much, Cooper,” you whispered back, causing his own eyes to glisten with tears.
I'm still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts
Behind you a car pulled up quickly to the scene. Quickly jetting out of the van was a curly, blonde-haired girl – who you knew was Riley. “Daddy!” She sobbed out, running out of the woman’s arms into straight into Cooper’s, his hands chained in front of him. Riley didn’t waste a second to hug Cooper tightly, pressing her tear-stained face into his chest. It was a bittersweet moment; From what Cooper always told you, Riley was his little girl, always valuing his opinion on topics and learning the ways of the world from him. He was wrapped around her finger, and silently it was killing him that this may be the last time he was ever going to see her. Cooper leaned his chin against Riley’s head, kissing the top softly, savoring the moment before it was ripped away. “Riley, come here sweetie,” Rachel called out, causing Riley to pull away as she ran. The SWAT officers hands tightened against Cooper’s arm, he spun around to stare at his family one more time before being loaded into the paddy wagon.
Before that door shut, Cooper held your gaze with a primal glare, causing your heart to quicken. A smirk lined his lips as the door shut, only able to see him through the small window of the wagon. You didn’t feel upset or scared that Cooper was going away, because you knew it was bullshit. That look told you everything you needed to know, and it made you excited. Throwing the hood of Cooper’s jacket over your head, you made your way back to your home, locking the back and front door – closing and locking the windows, heading straight for bed.
I'm still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts
-----
Time ticked away as the lights started to die out; The warmth of your salt lamp omitting off cozy energy. Snuggled beneath the comforter, you watched as the last of the police officers and journalists left. The neighborhood had enough craziness for one day, to hear utter silence put you at peace. Everything felt good again; No animosity lingered in the air. But things still felt off, not having Cooper by your side. Watching him get taken away by the police made you sad – but seeing how he said he loved you, made everything so much better. You would wait for him, no matter how long it was going to be. If you had to wait eternity for him, you’d wait two. Cooper was everything to you, and you knew you’d never find love like him again. Even with abandonment heavy on your mind, this time felt different. It wasn’t a slow pullback like everyone else does. No, this was so much less. The look in Cooper’s eyes was a guarantee that he would be with you soon enough, and you’d wait forever to have that.
You felt yourself drifting off to sleep at the thoughts of him, how the previous night he held you close to his chest, playing with your hair as he hummed softly to you. It put you at great ease, feeling so domestic for the first time. The way his right hand boxed you into him, laying right against your stomach. His left was tucked under his head, his chin perched on your shoulder. It was almost as if you could feel the warmth of him now, holding you tightly, peppering kisses along your hairline. His hand snaking its way under your shirt to touch you, rubbing little hearts into your flesh as you sink deeper into him. His broad chest your safe haven, his lips your solace in this dark world, as they move their way down your cheek, to your bare shoulder. “You’re never getting rid of me that easily, princess.” Cooper whispered into your ear, causing your eyes to fling open.
Cooper could feel you tense at the realization he was here, with you, instead of locked up. The excitement vibrating off of you as he helped you turn around. Even with the low light of the lamp next to your bed, you could make out every single feature of Cooper’s face. The lines around his eyes as he smiled at you, the creases of his mouth as his grin grows wider, the softness in his irises as they track a path over your facial features. “I will never leave you, sweet girl. I am with you forever.” Cooper’s voice cracked with emotion as his tears started to fall, the sob slipping from your lips evident enough. Perching against Cooper, you let your lips collide with his in a heated manner, feeling the ever-growing love between the two of you blossomed. The world was gone, silent compared to the beating of two hearts. The autumn light turning into tendrils of golds, browns, and silver cascading through the air, glittering with every touch Cooper laid upon your body. He was your home, he is your safety. He is your world, and nothing could take him from you. “I’m here to stay.” You knew he meant it too. Cooper Adams was a thing of the past, a monster that the media wanted to portray. Cooper Abbott on the other hand was a family man, who was desperately in love with his girl. Philadelphia is where you two made your home, but your true adventure starts with the move to Minnesota. Your future now getting started.
Still rocking your hoodie / And chewing on the strings / It makes me think about you / So I wear it when I sleep / I kept the broken zipper / And cigarette burns / Still rocking your hoodie / Baby, even though it hurts / Still rocking your hoodie
Tagging Taglist: @rubyfruitjungle @cherryinterlude @lilly3434 @amethystblackkchaos @rosaleelovesdilfs @babygorewhore @dirtylittlefairytales @redpillbluepill @strangererotica @minedofmoria @hibiskooks @fore45fore @lustskitty69
Cooper Adams: @lunaluvsu @rplver @kissofdawn666 @rottenangel
#cooper adams#cooper adams fic#cooper adams fanfic#cooper adams fanfiction#cooper adams angst#cooper adams fluff#cooper adams x f!reader#cooper adams x reader#cooper abbott#cooper abbott fic#cooper abbott fanfic#cooper abbott fanfiction#cooper abbott fluff#cooper abbott angst#cooper abbott x f!reader#cooper abbott x reader#josh hartnett#trap movie#trap 2024
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One last time
(Full Chapter)
In which you insult them one last time. (Aka me insulting pixels even tho I'm on Hiatus)
(Written when I was on Hiatus lmfao)
Warning: Cursing, lots of them.
》 - Chapter 2
Masterlist
♤~-~♤
You were finally captured. It took three months to get where you are, standing before you are the Archons who participated in the hunt, and now they will execute you.
"Before you here, is the Impostor that stole our beloved deity's face" Barbatos started, looking down upon the people, "As if you didn't" you said, barely a whisper "Would you like to repeat that, thief?" The Goddess of Justice whispered on your ear as she pulled your hair, "I SAID, AS IF YOU DIDN'T" you repeated, the crowd gasps because they are very very shocked because they gasped.
Also this moon cake im eating doenst taste good.
"What?"
"You were born from the desires of people, meaning if Decarabian wasn't a tyrant then you wouldn't even be born!" The crowd screams defending the Wind God, "Oh come on! He stole the face of his DEAD friend!" You yelled, "Don't get me started with how he abandoned his nation for the tyrants to just invade Mond. Lady Venessa freed Mondstadt from the Lawrence clan!" Technically, Venti did help but you need to get the crowd on your side.
"That's enough," Ei said approaching you as she unsheath her sword, "You also abandoned your nation! What? because your sister, THE TRUE RULER of Inazuma died?" At this point everyone is appalled.
"T-"
"Don't even get me started with you, you rat tailed motherfucker. You literally made a deal with the fatui, you knew Childe was gonna summon Osial and you let it happen. More so, you faked your own death because you didn't feel like ruling over Liyue? Or was it because you finally understood that you're just incapable of being an Archon? The only reason you survived the Archon War was the adepti and yaksha that you expended!"
"..."
"And who's to say you didn't commit any crime?" Ei said after the shock had dissipated, "What crime!? How do you think a mere mortal were to steal a God's face!?" You screamed through a horse voice, now you've got everyone talking, (like the jury in the Ace Attorney.)
"Is your god suffering from sever little-bitchitis to the point you'd hunt anybody who look REMOTELY similar to them?"
The Archons were stunned, it seemed like you made everyone hold their breathe. "Such blasphemy won't go unforgi-" "I don't need your forgiveness, you cockroach arthritis-suffering bitch," you cut Zhongli off.
"Hey now...let's not say something will regret, huh?" Nahida said, through the familiar gentle voice, "I won't regret anything that comes out of my mouth." You replied, not finding any reasons why Nahida should be insulted.
"By far, the only Archon that ever helped the Traveller was the Dendro Archon! And she was even locked up!" You said, "You, Barbatos, you just avoided any talk about traveller's twin. Morax, why did you sign a contract that silences you about their twin? Do they scare you that much? Are you really that weak and pathetic?" You said apathetically and sarcastically.
"I am under a contract, and I must abide by that contract," Zhongli replied with a more... confident form, you can't wait to crush it, "Didn't you also sign a contract with the mortals of Teyvat that you'd never hurt them? WELL WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY AM I AM EXCEPTION?" Technically, he didn't, but if they were gonna use lies and deception to win this argument, you might as well do the same.
"Because you're nothing but an Impostor, not even worthy to be called human" Ei said, striking her blade on your thigh, you gasped in pain. "Hah! And what are you? You were an Impostor that created another Impostor because you can't handle the guilt of being one!" At this point it was useless to argue, they were pissed off but the people? They don't believe you, but they've also lost faith to their Gods.
And so, what did you achieve? Death and your name on the history textbooks saying that you were the reason that Teyvat rebelled against their Gods...
So, are you ready to resurrect later in life to attack the Archons (verbally) once more?
Next chapter coming out idk when
#sagau#genshin impact sagau#genshin impact#self aware genshin#sagau cult au#imposter sagau#sagau impostor au
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Fixing Delphine
This bitch.
I actually like that they made a character that is on your side but is somewhat unlikable, Delphine is Team Dragonborn, but she's not really one of the good guys. And that's cool, conflict means drama. So what's the problem? Well unfortunately, this drama is surface level and isn't used to drive the story, so It's kind of just annoying.
People oversimplify their hatred of Delphine into "She wants you to kill Paarthurnax," because unlike Delphine, people actually like Paarthurnax. Understandable, but barely scratches the surface. We'll get to The Paarthurnax Dilemma in time, but that quest is a symptom, not the illness itself.
If I could sum up Delphine in a word it would be "inconsistent." For example, she's a fugitive waging a one woman war on the Thalmor from the shadows, who's only survived this long from sheer paranoia - but she also uses her real name and leaves a note in Ustengrav for whoever happens to pick it up with directions and a pass word to her secret hide out.
She needs to go through her super secret contact Farengar to use the Jarl's resources to go into Bleak Falls Barrow, a tutorial level dungeon she can see from her house, and she's impressed that you did it - but she also goes personally to the other side of the country to delve alone into the massive Ustengrav to steal the Horn of Jurgan Windcaller, no issues, just a quick in and out twenty minute adventure.
She takes the fact that you found her Ustengrav note as proof you're the Greybeard's new guy and not some Thalmor plant even though she herself, a non Dragonborn, had also completed Ustengrav and taken the horn proving it's totally possible. She even points this out in her own dialogue then demands we prove who we are, even though that was the whole point of the Ustengrav note. It's also a pretty big assumption that just because I'm the guy the Greybeards call Dragonborn that I can't ALSO be with the Thalmor.
We are left with this awkward sense that the writers are flailing to make us think this woman is competent and objective, without actually having her do anything that clever. Just act like the dumb thing was smart and have her act like a cocky brat if questioned about it.
Inconsistency. It's her thing. Does she hate the Thalmor? That would make sense given what we know about her. But that gets dropped half way through the main story and suddenly she hates The Greybeards, for absolutely no reason at all. She gives a reason, but it's bullshit.
In her own words, "If the greybeards had their way, the dragonborn would sit on a mountain talking to the sky." But that's not true is it. We know The Greybeards, they encouraged us to fulfill our destiny. Even if you say you want to follow their Way of the Voice, they'll be glad to hear it but warn you not to let it get in the way of what needs to be done. Delphine even uses Tiber Septim as an example, which is even stupider because The Greybeards actively encouraged Tiber to conquer Tamriel. Have I read more in game books than the dialogue writers??
But that's not the end of it, when it becomes convenient for the plot this hatred is flipped once again from The Greybeards onto dragons. Not Alduin. All dragons. Despite the fact that, as a Blade, she should know about Nafaalilargus, a dragon ally of the Empire and the Blades for thousands of years, and the Blades don't just indiscriminately kill all dragons no matter the circumstances, and that Tiber Septim himself almost certainly met Paarthurnax at some point, she suddenly seems to be acting like she has a personal grudge against dragons. Which brings us to the Paarthurnax Dilemma...
See here's the thing, you could easily write off the frustration everyone feels towards this quest as Bethesda's crappy design, where there is no conclusion other than to kill Paarthurnax, or else leave an unfinished quest languishing in the menu. Bethesda apparently didn't consider the idea that anybody would actually prefer to turn on the Blades, even though the Blades have become a bit of a running joke among the fans, or that anyone would take umbrage with Delphine giving out orders and ultimatums.
But no, it's so much worse than that. Delphine being a surly unlikable c u n t from the day we met her is one thing, but the fact that she has been wrong about almost everything she's ever said in game, and still having the AUDACITY to treat us like her work bitch and us never, not once, getting the opportunity to put her in her place... That's not poor quest design, that's the game gaslighting us.
Let's do a quick list of every one of Delphine's theories, and how many were actually correct shall we:
You are not the Dragonborn ❌
The Greybeards shouldn't be trusted to identify a Dragonborn ❌
The dragons aren't just coming back, they're coming back to life ✅
The Thalmor have something to do with the dragons returning ❌
Esbern is dead ❌
The Greybeards just want the Dragonborn to sit on a mountain and meditate ❌
The Greybeards wanted Tiber Septim to just sit on a mountain and meditate ❌
Paarthurnax, having lived in exile for thousands of years, deserves corporal punishment ❌
As ACTING Grand Master of the Blades, she gets to boss around the Dragonborn ❌
She deserves a seat at the peace negotiations ❌
And these are just the things that are factually wrong, leaving aside opinions on her morality and shitty attitude. This is the woman the game presents to us as a shrewd strategist.
BUT I CAN FIX HER!
Like I said I like the idea of a character who is on your side but is somewhat unlikable. It actually won't take much to make Delphine endearing to the fans. We have to do a Boromir on her. A Lot of people dislike Boromir throughout the Fellowship of the Ring but weep at his death. We have to tweak three things to have the same thing happen to Delphine:
1. Make her actually competent and useful so that while we don't agree with her we can see why she does the things she does, and desire to keep her around.
2. Have her mistakes called out and have consequences.
3. Have her redeem her mistakes with a badass honourable death.
#skyrim#elder scrolls#delphine skyrim#skyrim ulfric#tes 5 skyrim#elder scrolls memes#skyrim memes#elder scrolls morrowind#truestl#elder scrolls oc#oblivion#tes6#morrowind#the elder scrolls 6#the elder scolls online#the blades#the elder scrolls#tes#tes 5#tes lore
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Can I request a Levi x reader where the reader is know to be very stoic and cold to everyone. But she really is touch starved and only shows him in private her clingy side.
True self with you.
Levi x fem!reader
Canon AU, fluff, romance, being a couple, stoic reader that's really shy, cuddly reader.
In public and while working you are rather cold and stoic, but it's because you're shy and you don't think people will accept you. As soon as you get home to Levi, you are a cuddly little bunny for him and you show just how soft you are.
@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird
"Please?"
You stared at the cadet. "No. Rules state-."
"I don't care! Can't you just this one time?"
"No."
They huffed. "You are so cold! No wonder no one likes you!"
You realised a long sigh. "I have to go with scout policy set out by Commander Erwin Smith. If you want to complain then I can file a report to the Commander, otherwise, there is nothing else that can be done."
"I always knew you were a cold and heartless bitch."
You stood up from your chair. "I will not tolerate such language in my office, please leave now."
"I'm not leaving until I get what I want!"
You walked over to your office door and opened it. "Leave."
"NO! You are not a commanding officer! You just do admin and paperwork! You're nothing."
You stared at them. "Then why are you complaining to me if I am nothing? I fail to see the logic in your reasoning. Why fight with someone who cannot provide you with what you need. Also, due to the way you have been speaking to me, I am less likely to help you. Do you really think throwing abuse would get you anywhere?"
"Tch, oi?" Levi stepped into your doorway. "What's going on?"
You stared at the scout. "Would you like to forward your complaint to Captain Levi?"
"Yes!" They huffed. "I need to speak to you and not this terrible person."
You hummed. "You may have my office unless you are taking them to yours."
Levi studied the scout. "I'll take your office and I'll speak to you after."
"Sure."
It was fairly normal for people to get upset with you. You had tried to get along with people, but you were rather shy and you assumed that people would not like you. There was also this constant fear that you'd fail at your job. You wanted to do your job well, so you followed the rules and the teachings.
Today, you were feeling rather defeated by your job. You were simply doing your job and trying hard, but it was never good enough for some people. It wasn't always like this, but the bad days were terrible. There was no in between.
"Bunny?"
You looked up. "Grumpy."
Levi closed his office door and approached you as you sat on the sofa. "I'm sorry they were a shithead."
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
"You shouldn't be." As soon as he sat next to you, you hugged his side. "People shouldn't treat you this way, okay?"
You slipped your legs over his thigh. "Mm."
Levi wrapped his arms around you and hugged you. "You need extra cuddles today?"
"Yes."
He shifted on the sofa, lay across it and held you against him. "You know very well you can get all the cuddles you want." He squeezed you. "I love them and they heal me."
You nuzzled the crook of his neck. "I love you, Levi."
"I love you too." He played with your hair and rubbed your back. "You know, I like that you're cold with others because I get to see his adorable cute side of you. It's all for me."
You kissed Levi's neck. "I just feel like I can be myself with you. You make me feel safe to be me."
"Me too."
#levi ackerman#levi#aot levi#snk levi#aot fanfiction#fanfic#levi x y/n#levi fanfiction#levi x reader#levi x you#jelly fanfics#levi x yn#levi attack on titan#levi aot#levi fluff#levi ackerman fic#levi ackerman attack on titan#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman x y/n
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So, I'm not really in the weeds of Transgender Discourse on the internet (I have a life and also care about my mental health) but I've seen something discussed here about trans masculinity and I wanna talk about it.
I'm very masculine. I'm butch, I'm trans masc, I've always wanted to be masculine and I feel most comfortable when I'm presenting as such. Without much effort or any intention on my part I am read as a cis man day to day. Because I don't present more fem, in queer spaces I am read and recieved as a man, maybe trans, probably into other men. People do not even consider if I'm a butch lesbian unless there's Significant context indicating it. Because of this I'm viewed through 'Man Lens'; It feels a different if I say 'bitch', if I talk about my attraction to women. I don't get smiled at, people put physical distance between me and them as much as possible.
This is familiar for a lot of trans masculine people and trans men that aren't androgynous/fem leaning in their style, and it is an upsetting change to happen. It makes us feel judged or misunderstood to suddenly be causing this wariness in others; it feels prejudiced. I've seen people putting words to this like transmisandry. This is something they want to lessen in their communities, so they don't have to experience this anymore.
Now, here's my opinion part: That's not going to happen. You cannot tackle the "problem" of people responding to your masculinity with wariness. They aren't controlling the wariness, they can't. More importantly, their wariness toward masculinity and what registers in their brain as "man-like" is well founded. It's based in lifetimes of experiences and trauma that has told them men can be very unsafe to be around, and that is true. Most men are cis, and cis men are the most threatening thing in this world to non-cis men. They are usually* socially privileged above others, more likely to inflict violence, more likely to abuse and murder others, are typically physically more powerful than others. Everyone thats not a cis man DEEPLY internalises a very rational wariness of men, and masculine presentation as an extension. Especially men that are strangers. (*This is of course different when we consider intersections of race, colonialism, classism, ect. But globally this generalisation is still pretty accurate.)
Honestly, I don't think this wariness towards masculine presentation is something thats useful or realistic to challenge. Like many internalised processes it's probably a good idea to examine it and consider its usefulness, but I think it'd be easy to conclude that it is a useful wariness for people to have. Women have lots of reasons to be wary around men, including the unique threats of transmisogyny. Queer and gender deviant men have lots of reasons to be wary around men. This is The Reality of patriarchy.
Personally, the place I've come to with how women and queer people react to my masculinity (which is not entirely negative btw, the wariness is just one aspect) is that... I understand their wariness. I have it too, toward those my brain assumes are cis men. I cannot control how they feel or what they think about me. I can only be respectful to others and to myself and live my life. I flag my butchness where I can, I make my gender clear to those it matters to, and the rest I accept as largely beyond my influence. All of us have to do this in some places in our lives.
Even though my masculinity makes other queers wary, I have lots of friends! I've had no real trouble dating or finding intimacy. Initial wariness is just that. Once you understand each other, break the barrier, its usually settled. For anyone who finds my masculinity so offputting that we can't break the barrier, I'm glad neither of us put each other through that discomfort. I understand where a fear like that comes from. I will still hold community with them because that's what solidarity entails.
Anyway thats my ramble about masculinity in queer community, good bye until another. who knows how long
#back on the tumblr diary#personal#edited the section about women having reasons to fear men and transmisogyny; poorly phrased lol.
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what about bingqiu?
this is my response to this post. i didn't want to reply in the same post because it's going to get really long, and i disagree with almost everything, so this way i may avoid the discourse. haha. anyway, i'm gonna try to answer each of op's points.
-why bingqiu are a couple:
♦ because despite everything, they've chosen each other. not because they're soulmates (though mxtx did pull the string of fate thing), but because they genuinely want to spend time together
it's very subtle but they do share some values and similarities: they both repay kindness with kindness and believe that one should pay back those who hurt you twofold/tenfold. furthermore, they are both petty bitches. as @fireandgrimstone pointed out here, they're both busybodies: they get restless if they aren't doing something.
on that note: self-preservation is not a core value they share. sqq is terrible at self-preservation. from the first moment, instead of minding his own business, he risked losing points (which would terminate his account and kill him) just to protect binghe when he was being bullied by ming fan and co. sqq couldn't stand by watching someone being bullied. then during the demon invasion, he was ready to risk his own life to protect all the cqm disciples. he was willing to self-destruct to take out sha hualing.
the thing is that sqq likes to lie about himself and say everything he does is out of self-preservation, but it isn't true.
so, if it wasn't out of self preservation, why did sqq pushed binghe into the endless abyss? yes, it needed to happen, but he didn't do it to save himself. he can't hurt binghe just to protect himself. he did it because he brainwashed himself into believing this was the best for binghe, that binghe needed to in order to become strong and achieve his fate.
(chapter 4: conference)
♦ because they give each other what they need. consistent love, support and understanding was something lbh really needed, and those 2-3 years before the immortal alliance conference did wonders for binghe to allow himself to feel vulnerable and be more in touch with his own feelings. this will get screwed up post-endless abyss but sqq does encourage him in the extras to express his feelings and talk about what he thinks and feels.
now, what lbh gives to sqq may not seem obvious (thank you for the help, luuny!♥), since sqq's layered narration is tricky to deconstruct, but by the end of the novel lbh can get past sqq's tsundere/savin face bullshit. sqq has all his toxic masculinity ideas and internalized homophobia that he keeps dragging everywhere he goes, and his relationship with lbh, who was supposed to be the epitome of masculinity, has allowed him to shed off some of it. but not all. thus, lbh knows when sqq needs to be pushed or coaxed into doing something he already wants to do but thinks he shouldn't want and doesn't know how to justify (sex for example). lbh also gives sqq the whole domestic package: someone to dote on, someone that does the chores and takes care of him, because frankly sqq is good at many things but he fails at self-care.
♦ domesticity and companionship. for bingqiu it wasn't like other couples who were first attracted to each other from one reason or another and from then on the relationship developed. the first period of their relationship is mostly platonic (poor binghe is suffering the teenage hormones), and was based on the easy domesticity and companionship they shared. and honestly that's such a simple yet beautiful kind of love. they genuinely like spending time together, living together, talking to each other. they never get bored of being together or of each other, which brings me to
♦ the obsession. like, it's honestly hilarious how obsessed they are with each other. sy was already obsessed with pidw protagonist bingge, but in svsss he got to love and get obsessed all over again with his own binghe aka bingmei. and from lbh's pov it's more or less the same: he had a complicated relationship with original sqq, which was the start of it all, but the person he loves is not the cold shizun from the past who he needs to prove himself to, but the one that's always trying to protect him, even if it's from himself. in both cases, their relationship started with distance, with the shadow of the other version of each other they'd known before. but what made them fall in love weren't those ghosts from the past, but the person they could see underneath it all: the hardworking boy that just wanted to be loved, and the closeted man who wants to give love and help others and have a purpose and belong to something (binghe understands that sqq would be unhappy if he couldn't visit cqm, qjp and his sect siblings). this relates to the fact that
♦ they understand each other better than anyone else. it takes them time, but that's the point of their journey and by the time we read about their relationship in the extras, we can see that despite everything, they not only understand each other very well but actively try to understand each other better. they already made the mistake of making too many assumptions, and they're not doing that again.
________________
another point that op got wrong:
off the top of my head an example would be how bingge (he-with-no-shen-yuan) took a harem of beauties so he could control xin mo but bingmei (he-with-shen-yuan) decided to just... cripple people's cultivation (...) what i'm getting at is that binghe was willing to pay other people's lives just so he didn't have to be intimate with anyone except shen yuan.
bingge too was cripping other cultivators to get ride of the excess of demonic qi, it's just that after he captured the three nuns from tianyi overlook they taught him how to achieve the same result using dual cultivation. (thanking @stardust-falling for their notes on this topic!)
(chapter 9: borderlands)
#svsss#zykamiliah-svsss#shen qingqiu#svsss meta#bingqiu#don't underestimate tianyi's sex ed!!!#canonically so good it fixed both bingge's cultivation issues and bingqiu's sex life lol
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well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.
tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.
anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.
to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!
they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!
the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.
also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft
okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:
these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...
...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:
(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)
so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.
recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!
I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)
when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:
what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)
with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.
big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:
:)
(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)
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I recently witnessed someone on twitter with the spicy but interesting position of: the only people vehemently bitching against 2D puppets are the animators who have to use them. So, what's the tea, why's this debate even a thing, and is one side wrong?
Rigged 2D animation, also known as puppet animation, and prolly other terms I'm not aware of. Most 2D animators I know treat it with disdain as something they're forced to work on to survive instead of "real" animation (=hand drawn in this case), and while I've encountered less negative sentiments towards the medium coming from fans, I have seen several people complain about it unknowingly, correctly nailing visual aspects they don't like without knowing their cause. Additionally, it can be really hard to tell apart what's rigged and what's hand drawn in 2D, with many series mixing both to their advantage.
The reason for rigged stuff being so prevalent is that it's cheaper and faster. Where hand drawn requires redrawing your entire character/thing frame by frame to make it move, puppet animation uses, well, puppets, ready-made articulated models you just need to pose. It's also possible to use interpolation - instead of deciding by hand every image between two poses, you let the computer calculate it and come later to tweak how each part moves to make it look good. There is little to no drawing involved in rigged 2D, asides of rare shots that need a little part drawn over when the puppet can't do something specific, or drawing the eyes/mouths/hands/etc when you're making the puppets themselves. Notice I said series and not films in my previous paragraph - this is because animations with longer runtimes and/or shorter production times benefit strongly from this medium. You will not need to clean, to inbetween, to color and whatever other steps can go in hand drawn 2D when you have puppets. You can use the interpolations to your advantage on some movements. It's near impossible to be off model. You don't even need to draw!
And most animators uh, they're here because they like to draw. You can say animating and drawing are two different things, that is true, I've even heard it from the mouth of an insanely talented hand drawn animator called Liane-Cho Han who described himself as a poor drawer despite an impressive 2D portfolio. Poor drawer, good animator, it blew my mind at the time but when I started animating I understood what he meant. But puppet animation is still animation, and much closer to how 3D animation works, with stop-motion being comparable to hand drawn in terms of difference between these mediums. Yet you don't see industry-spanning bitching about 3D vs stop motion! This leads to my next point: puppets are limiting.
One of the advantages of hand drawn animation compared with other animation techniques especially those using character rigs is that you're not limited to said rigs. You can just draw anything, regardless of digital puppet constraints, of art style, of physics. If you can put it on paper, you can animate it. Puppets, both 3D and 2D, have limitations - the art needs to be made (sculpt, drawings) and be placed on a complex invisible digital skeleton allowing you to correctly manipulate your character, which is a job in itself. The more stuff you want your character to be able to do, the more complex it gets. You can't automate all of it. This means productions with lower budget and/or ambitions will tend to have simpler rigs which allow less. An example is angles: when you're hand drawing a character and want to pose them, you can pick whatever angle you'd like for all body parts. Rigs might not give this as an option, especially subtler angles of the head and foreshortening. This might make some movements you had in mind impossible, with a need to stylize your poses and your breakdowns. Not being able to have these angles can make for animation that looks stiff or awkward and can be very annoying to work with depending on the animator.
That artificial stiffness is to me, one of the telling signs something is rigged, and part of the reasons I don't like it myself! That's right, I'm with the haters here. Except stiffness doesn't necessarily mean something used digital rigs, and stiffness isn't inherently a bad thing - as with all art styles, it can just be that, a stylistic choice. Enters a director who's work I'll use as a counter example to the dislike of 2D puppets, both from an animator's and a hater layman's point of view on the results: Michel Ocelot.
Famous in France and way less internationally, two staples of his work are his fixations on fairytales and Africa. Fittingly, his most famous movie is probably Kirikou, a feature film which mixes both. Ocelot's work is stylized in a way unique to him, which can make his work very repetitive, but also makes it instantly recognizable. Some of his staples include static shot compositions, actors that talk like they're reading their lines out of an old book, busy backgrounds and folk tale tropes. Stiffness is just a part of what his movies look like, as are art styles that take inspiration from traditional art and past periods. He started out working before digital puppets were a thing, and while he's embraced digital techniques, releasing a full CG feature film in the 00s before it was the norm, he has worked without, including on Kirikou which is animated the old way.
The earliest of his films I've seen is called Princes and Princesses, it's already got everything typical of his work, and one of the latest of his films I've seen (and among my personal favorites of everything he's done) is called Black Pharaoh, and while decades and different techniques separate these two, they're both based around, you guessed it, puppets. P&P is a blatant hommage/reference to animation pioneer Lotte Reiniger, who used literal paper puppets to animate fantasy movies who's style is very reminiscent of the graceful, slightly simplified illustrations popular at the time. Black Pharaoh uses digital 2D puppets and is entirely animated using the (meticulously researched) style of ancient egyptian wall paintings. Both of these films tell a story, not like movies usually do, but like an orator retelling a tale does. And it works! The characters don't move in a 3D space, but it doesn't matter, they're from a fresco or are paper. The character's don't move realistically and it doesn't matter either, they're not trying to trick your eyes into looking real, they're characters of a story. Ocelot's films are a case where using puppets and their limitations works in favor of the film, not otherwise, and his stuff that's not made with puppets looks like it could be.
I'll briefly talk about a film I hate here to make the final point before my conclusion, netflix's Klaus. This is a film who's insanely impressive animation has floored people regardless of how much they know about animating. Unlike a lot of "this looks very cool" (actually p easy to make) animations you see going viral online, here everyone's right, it is indeed insanely hard to animate like that. Klaus was hailed because of it's uncanny ability to look like modern CG while being entirely hand drawn, which I think is stupid, because it's a lot of effort and talent wasted for a result that looks incredibly generic. Would this film have been bad if it had used CG? Why do people think hand drawn is better than CG in the first place? That I can't answer but the reason studios use it is money: either because it's trendy and will make more money because it's trendy, or because it's cheaper to make, which depends on what you're trying to achieve. In the end, they're techniques. Techniques have pros and cons and things they're better at than others. Time and money are essential to producing a film wether you like it or not.
So: are people wrong to hate on puppets? Nah, it's a question of taste. You can hate the look a technique gives and that's fine. But "ugly" is subjective and it's important to be aware of that if critiquing stuff is your job.
Was that tweet right? Yeah, pretty much, lol. For many if not most animators it's a technique they're forced to use, that removes a major reason they like their job from said job, and can be frustrating to work with. It's worth noting a lot of the work you'll get nowadays is on cheap productions, and the techniques they'll use most will be associated with the slop they are. Doesn't mean you'll inherently make slop. A technique is just that, a technique.
#might add pictures/links if theres interest#animation#mine#i almost made a short film that would have strongly benefited from puppets and ironically one of the reasons i did not do it is.#because idk how to use that technique and it just wouldn't have been as good to animate without!#the cheap look can be a style too: see - of all things - south fucking park#u can hate that show but its look is iconic and it stems from having a 3 peanuts budget and embracing that
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Can you explain to me how the Titan enforces Christian Fundamentalism?
The Titan makes the only crime Belos committed be that he was a false prophet. Luz is beyond reproach though because she is a true prophet and a true believer. She is then sent to murder a men, blessed with holy power and strength in her convictions, by that God... And we are supposed to cheer.
This isn't even much of an exaggeration or dramatization. The Titan's answer to Luz's fears about justifying horrible acts in the name of protecting others is essentially this. That Belos' true crime wasn't in wanting to kill, oppress or lie. It's that he did it for selfish, self aggrandizing reasons. That if he'd simply been honest and earnest, he might feel a little bad for a mistake or two here or there, like the Titan is about the Collector, but he would have been entirely justified in his genocide. Just like they are beyond approach for wanting this man dead.
As the show says "He wants to be a hero and have the power," but then Luz comes in, trying to have a badass one liner for her return and even says "Darn it, I still can't think of what to say" which isn't even a reference to an earlier part of the show (I don't think at least). It implies Luz waited to come back when it would be the most dramatic and when she was most ready to look the part of the hero. She even references Azura, the FICTIONAL HERO, in her last speech and goes back to the catchphrase she wanted for a hero just nuking a bitch. She TOOOOTALLY doesn't care about being a hero though and because of that, she's all good to be doing all of this. That's what the Titan claimed at least.
Worse yet is that we only really have the Titan's word for glory and power being all Belos cared about. The fucker spent CENTURIES on the Isles. He deformed his body and probably doesn't believe he'll go to Heaven anymore with how much magic he had to internalize in order to pursue the goal of genocide. Even when alone, with no one to prove anything to, he still talks about saving souls and just needing to survive to do this. He's okay with dying afterwards because he DOESN'T care about the glory. Literally the only time he seems to give a shit about other people's approval and the status this might get him is the Witch Hunter General lines and you know what, I don't think it's entirely unfair for him to hope to get some recognition out of four hundred years of work, even if that work was pure evil. You could maybe say Philip's journal shows a hero complex but A: that still doesn't make his belief in protecting others a lie, just means that he has an ego about it, and B: is from hundreds of years ago and he literally abandoned the journal eventually. Abandoned his own heroic tale. By the finale... His intentions are pure. At bare minimum, that's how they are framed by the show itself with his desperation to do this, even at the cost of ending himself. So why does he deserve to die by the show's logic?
Well... He doesn't. He doesn't even deserve to be stopped because his faith is earnest. Except... It's not the right faith, is it? Belos doesn't believe in magic. Doesn't believe in the Titan. He is a blasphemer and false prophet. But now Luz has actually spoken with the Titan, been friends with his son and spread her ideals across the Isles, ideals which are strictly not the Isle's ways but that do theoretically make the basis of the Titan claiming she's a good witch (which is also referencing Azura potentially). The literal first person we meet on the Isles doesn't give a shit about things like lying, cheating, etc. and the early episodes give the impression that no one here does. That Belos doesn't force conformity on that matter even, making it so that these baseline morals that Luz disagrees with are earnest and honest. And yet, none of them are allowed to stay that way. They all enter her fold and listen to explicitly her morality. A morality that happens to line up with Christian morals and that the Titan seems to approve of.
And again, that's not interpretation. The finale actually straight up confirms this isn't the Isle's morality and REVELS in that fact. Belos begs for his life, saying they are not murderers, scoundrels and killers. That their culture demands better of them because they're human. Luz doesn't disagree... But she also doesn't do the act herself (unless you want to say she brought on the rain, but then you have her boiling a man to death which is just HORRIFYING.) Then, in a moment we're supposed to cheer for, Luz's closest connections with the Isles, and Raine tacked on, show up, proudly say they're not better than murderers, and stomp the fucker out. Not a quick mercy killing like a blast of magic or a magic scream might have done. Not the eviscerating explosion Luz had to do as a part of stopping him. No, instead, they brutally stomp out a defenseless, dying man before Raine literally says, "That was satisfying."
Our. Heroes.
And don't get me wrong: Belos needed to die. Thematically it's correct and narratively it's correct. The problem is how the show frames this final conflict. It literally asks if it's okay to kill him. What is a reasonable justification for murder. For even wanting another person to die. For a lot of kids, this might be the first time they hear ANY nuance on this topic. So what is the lesson imparted? Is it that sometimes force is necessary but we should only do it when we are certain that more lives will be lost otherwise and that there is no other option? That'd be a great way to show the Titan actually learned something from his mistake with the Collector. Is it that we can't show tolerance to the intolerant because they will only ever take and destroy? Refute an argument that modern racists use to allow hate speech and actions against others. Is it the simple fact that because Luz actually fears being monstrous, she won't end up the same way because that fear and hesitation will never let her commit the sort of genocide that Belos desires? Or heck, say they aren't racist without saying the word by going "We judge him for his actions and the cruelties he has committed, not by the cruelties of a people or the circumstances of their birth." All of which would be varying degrees of fine morality wise and are genuinely ways good people cope with having to commit horrific violence.
No. Instead, it's just that one did it while excusing it with lies while Luz will do it with pure faith in her heart. You... You do know that the VAST majority of Christians literally use this as a way to dismiss bad actors in the church itself? "He doesn't represent all Christians! He didn't actually hold the faith!" Do you think every brimstone and fire preacher is just a complete liar and not a SINGLE one of them genuinely believes what they preach? Because I'm sorry to break it to you but even as far back as the fucking Crusades, while sure the leaders were corrupt, secular men, most of the soldiers were genuinely god fearing people, terrified for their souls and seeking this as their only form of penance, especially as they saw it as protecting Christianity. It's one of the reasons they were able to do so much damage because the goal for the common soldier wasn't conquest or national pride. It was to murder the other culture who had taken sacred land. They believed earnestly... So were they justified in the massacres of civilians that they committed?
And this is without getting into how we have literally a Holy Trinity of the father (the Titan's corpse), the son (King, who is exceptionally self sacrificing eventually), and the holy ghost, in a very literal sense. Or how about the glyphs being called the Titan's Language and given to Luz to empower her? How invoking simply his words grants one exceptional power? The Hexside Squad in the finale use glyphs, half of them for the first time, to supplement their powers while dead exhausted and it doesn't seem to just be able to help them, it is still keeping them close to their normal power level and potentially energizing them with how not tired they appear to be while doing this. Almost like they're prayers, pulling on the power of a higher being.
But those elements don't matter. For the sake of the Titan supporting Christian Fundamentalism, all that matters is that he puts faith above what is morally correct. That you can excuse any action so long as you are genuine in the belief that you are doing it for the right reasons. Eda could be making this same argument and it would still be wrong and morally reprehensible.
It's literally "The ends justify the means," and how is that your final lesson, for your main character, in a KID'S SHOW? Let alone when that is EXACTLY the argument Belos, THE VILLAIN, has always made. Not just with wiping out witches but with petrification, lying to Lilith, manipulating Hunter, etc. etc. That it was all justified for his grand, 'good' ends.
I already stated arguments that could have been made, that wouldn't have taken much more time to do (if any), that would fix this so don't you DARE even consider bringing up the shortening with this. It is one scene that does the vast majority of this. Arguably, like five lines tops. Five lines that destroy the morality of your very show and any chance at saying Christian Fundamentalism is wrong.
All because its last message wasn't that prophets should be questioned. Only that there are prophets to listen to explicitly and that you should avoid false prophets... Somehow. Maybe just ask if they like anime I guess?
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This was first written before I saw the finale, then I tried to make minor adjustments because of the better absorption of events but ended up rewriting the whole thing because I wanted to better focus on just the hypocrisy and god awful morals than talking about if the Titan counted as God or god.
Also, just for those curious: I was raised on Christian morals and did go to church when I was VERY young. My faith nowadays is that I consider there to be comfort in there being a higher power but that I do not care what form they take, nor do I really like organized religion as while it brings comfort and community to many, it also is all too easy to corrupt with personal greed and anger. I've been told the closest label to this is agnostic.
I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
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solitaire Ranttttt
I love this book and I've read it at least 30 times. i just want to say before I start that these are my personal opinions about the book.
I know i said I've read it a lot but i still don't know everything so please don't get mad if i get any facts incorrect.
Solitaire starts as Victoria (tori) Spring is starting school after x-mas or winter break. Tori lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers, Charlie and Oliver. Charlie, who is also in the heartstopper comics, struggles with an ED. I truly think that this effects Tori's life a lot. I know its not Charlies fault but I'm sure tori is almost constantly worrying about him. Tori and her mother don't get along very well. I'm not entirely sure why they don't but i think they touch more on that fact in This Winter. I've read it but it was a long time ago and i really need a reread.
on a different note. I've been needed to talk about this but none of my friends care enough. This is a controversial opinion but i hate Becky. she is such a bitch to tori and i just can't stand her. i know most of the time when tori and her would fight it would be when Becky is drunk but that doesn't make anything she has done right. she dated Ben Hope, one of the worst people in the universe of solitaire. i guess i don't really have a true reason to hate her accept for the fact that i have had friends like Becky. its all fine and its a beautiful friendship, then out of nowhere they go behind you and become friends or start dating someone that isn't a good person. they don't know they are a bad person and you do. and if you try to tell them that they are a bad person they either don't care or they don't believe you. I truly don't get why people like Becky. this is way too much but I'm going to do it any way. I'm going to analyze one of their fights.
pages 226-228 Solitaire
Becky was kissing Ben Hope after 100% knowing how awful of a person he was and still is to her best friends little brother. Tori sees this happening at the Solitaire party and is furious. which is completely reasonable because of how actually nasty he is.
after ben walks off Becky asks tori what she's looking at. in the next bit tori just goes off on her saying stuff like "you are a nasty bitch," and "you just don't care, do you?"
"that's it isn't it? I'm you naive little friend whose sad little life makes you feel better about yourself. well, you're absolutely spot-on there. I haven't got a single clue about anything. But you know what i do know? I know when someone is being a nasty bitch. Go ahead and cry your little crocodile tears if you want to. You don't fucking care at all do you?" this is a rant Tori goes on while arguing. This leaves Becky absolutely speechless.
"well- you- you're the one being a nasty bitch! Jesus Christ just calm down." After Becky says this Tori tells the reader that, i quote, "this is bad. I need to stop. I can't" Tori is now aware that she can't help was she says anymore. She no longer trust Becky. She no longer has a "BFF". Becky has betrayed her.
Tori continues to yell at Becky. "I'm sorry - do you have any comprehension of the level of betrayal you have just reached? Do you have any concept of friendship? I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that selfish, but clearly i've been wrong all this time" Tori is very very upset now and then says " You've killed me. You've literally killed me."
Becky has single handedly DESTORYED Tori. Becky is awful, and of course she just tells her to calm down. she literally was just making out with a boy that SA'd HER BEST FRIENDS BROTHER! and she knew he did it. which is ACTUALLY INSANE!!!!!
just the amount of betrayal and shit she caused makes be fucking sick to my stomach. yeah i do know that its a fake story and they aren't real people. it's just the fact that people like Becky do really do shit like this. I can't believe people are actually capable of stuff like this.
i really need to shut up but i have two more quotes from Tori then I'll stop.
"You have solidly proven that everyone and everything is shit. well done. Gold star. please delete yourself from my life."
" i am gone. I am gone. I guess everyone is like this. Smiles, hugs, years together, holidays, late night confessions, tears, phone calls, one million words - they don't mean anything. Becky doesn't care. No one really cares."
thank you for listening/reading
#alice oseman#victoria spring#tori spring#radio silence#solitaire book#tori and michael#foryou#explorepage#rant#tw#sorry guys
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BLACK CLOVER BROTHER TIER LIST!!!
This is really chaotic
Also it's my opinion, if you disagree that's totally fine, but you won't change my mind
So starting from the bottom, the D tier, we obviously have Solid, only started respecting his younger sister after it turned out she's much stronger than him and saved their whole family, bullied her before and was a bitch. He may have a neutral/decent relationship with his other siblings but that's because they were also bitches to Noelle
Langris is in the D tier too for obvious reasons, like sorry, but that's true. Maybe bro changed later, maybe he even held hands with his brother and fought by his side later, but that's only because Finral was a good brother to him, so fuck Langris
In the C tier we have Nozel. AND DON'T TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND. I get that he couldn't tell anyone about the curse, but what's that gotta do with letting his younger siblings THAT HE HAS POWER OVER bully Noelle??? AND JOINING THEM?????? Bro said he wanted to protect her, but than didn't protect her from her own family who she should feel safe with. No one can make me like you, Nozel Silva. Byakuya Kuchiki did it better.
I also placed Baro in the C tier, maybe because I don't really remember this arc, but I think he wasn't a good brother? But I wouldn't say he was the worst. I DON'T REMEMBER, SORRY.
Now we're starting with the B tier, which is a tier for people who are brothers but I can't really rate them? Maybe they didn't act really 'brotherly'??
(I know that now you're probably scared because you haven't seen a certain someone, but bear with me please)
We're starting this tier with Gordon, Gordon has a younger sister, they seem to like eachother, are really similar and that's all we know. So he's in the middle.
Next we have Neige who I also may not remember but he listened to and trusted his brother, so idk what to do with him, but I won't just ignore him here 🙄🙄 Kay, next
Kiato. Once again, him and Kahono have a close relationship, but we can't really say something about what kind of brother he is from that, maybe they just get along well. So middle tier for him.
Next is Kirsch. The guy is a beauty obsessed narcissist and Mimosa doesn't like him, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad brother?? And even tho I didn't pay much attention to him I don't think we see him interact with his sister much?? And that's the reasoning behind this
Than we have Lumier, who's also a brother even tho I almost forgot (I keep forgetting who's sister Tetia was 💀). And I mean we either saw him with Licht, or Licht with Tetia during the flashbacks so we can't say much about his skills in being a brother, they just had a good relationship
And last in this tier we have the Zogratis brothers, Dante and Zenon. Well they are bad people, but it doesn't mean they're bad brothers. Once again. IDK WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THEM, NEXT TIER
This tier is special.
It's the Gauche tier.
Putting aside the way he acts and reacts to his sister, he might be too obsessive about her, like not letting Asta talk to her, howEVER, THE WAY HE GAVE HER A MIRROR THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR COMMUNICATION BUT ACTUALLY IT'S ALSO TO PROTECT HER?? THIS IS SO CUTE, COME ON.
Every time I think about them I curse Tabata that he made Gauche the way he is because if he didn't have those disgusting reactions to her I woul probably love his character.
HE WOULD LITERALLY BE THE TYPE OF BROTHER WHO'S COLD TO EVERYONE BUT HIS LITTLE SISTER, THAT'S CUTE, GUYS
We also have two honorable mentions, and those are one, Magna Swi-
NO IT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO INCLUDE HIM, THIS GUY IS SUCH AN OLDER BROTHER MATERIAL TO NOELLE AND ASTA IT'S CRAZY
It's one of the reasons I love him 😞😞
The other honorable mention is Klaus, Klaus is also older brother material for many (like four kids at best), love him
Moving on to the A tier, starting with a questionable choice that is Asta and Yuno.
Maybe they're not really brothers, but they are brothers to me. They irritate eachother any chance they get but at the same time we can see that they are really invested in the rivaly, like most of the times if not all we see Yuno smile is when he's talking to Asta, they're so brothers, THEY SHARE A BIRTHDAY
Next we have (manga spoiler) Nacht who I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT BECAUSE HE WASN'T IN THE TIER LOST I MADE TO PREPARE MYSELF??? But he goes to the A tier because yeah. I don't like this guy, but his backstory with his brother is so sad AND THE WAY THEY COMPERED NACHT AFTER MORGEN'S DEATH TO NIGHT WITHOUT A MORNING KILLS ME. HE LOVED HIS BROTHER SO MUCH, I CAN'T :((
Another manga spoiler, but my dearest Yami Sukehiro???
BRO WAS A GREAT BROTHER, HE TOOK ICHIKA FISHING AND AWAY FROM THEIR FATHER
Too bad Ichika saw him as the worst man alive later 😀😀 CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO INTERACT IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS
(end of manga spoilers)
We also have Fuegoleon in the A tier, because we can see that Leo admires him a lot and we can also see that Fuegoleon cares.
When it comes to him being Mereoleona's brother however-
I meam he's the victim of having an older sister I guess, bro had to fight for his life- (I love Mereoleona sm)
Leo's also in the A tier, like come on, he cares so much IDK WHAT TO SAY IT'S 11 PM SORRY, BUT HE DESERVES THE SPOT.
Now moving to S tier!!!!
We have three characters here
One of them iss
En
En Ringard who appeared in likeee
Idk, not many episodes, but he was so brother that he brothered kids that weren't his siblings
Also insulted Solid, so good job 🥰🥰
Second in the S tier is (manga spoiler) Morgen (almost forgot about him too even tho I'm literally after writing about Nacht???) BRO LITERALLY SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR HIS BROTHER, NO BETTER WAY TO SHOW HIS LOVE FOR HIM IMO, MORGEN AND NACHT MAKE ME SAD SOMETIMES, I HATE HOW THEY HAVE TO FIGHT BECAUSE OF THAT BITCHASS LUCIUS
(end of manga spoiler)
And the third one is Finral
Finral's only mistake as a brother was leaving, so I still think he deserves a S tier in his brothering skills
Finral never hated Langris even tho that bitch was mean as hell, FINRAL WENT AND SAVED LANGRIS POSSESSED BY AN ELF AFTER HE HOLED HIM??? ONE OF MY FAV FINRAL MOMENT IN THE WHOLE ANIME, I LOVE HOW THEY BOTH PASSED OUT AND HELD HANDS, I LOVE FICTIONAL SIBLINGS AGHHHHHHHHHH
That's it, thanks for reading this bullshit with possible mistakes, typos, and grammatically incorrect sentences. Also possible information I watched this shit one year ago.
Tier list in case someone forgot:
S: Finral, En, Morgen
A: Fuegoleon, Leopold, Nacht, Yami, Asta, Yuno
Honorable mentions: Magna and Klaus
Gauche tier
B: Kiato, Gordon, Lumiere, Kirsch, Neige, Dante, Zenon
C: Nozel, Barro
D: Langris, Solid
#black clover#langris vaude#solid silva#nozel silva#finral roulacase#fuegoleon vermillion#leopold vermillion#yami sukehiro#nacht faust#morgen faust#gauche adlai#kirsch vermillion#lumiere#i don't remember#it's late#sorry#magna swing#my beloved
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