#that's it that's the entire commentary on today's episode

[thesiltverses]

A very big thank you

I posted this on Patreon, but really wanted to share it here as well:

Post-show life begins

For a long while now I’ve been getting up at 4.30 or 5am, grabbing myself the first coffee of four, and then coming to sit at my desk.

I open up the assembly cut of the newest TSV episode.

I listen to it, I try and pin down which scenes I need to be going back over today. I try and push through the entire morning without a break because when the momentum stalls, that’s what kills your release schedule. (I also worry endlessly about just how much of my hair is falling out, and how spending 12 hours a day wearing headphones could be contributing to that.)

Today was different. I still woke up early - it’s a hard habit to shake off, and probably a useful one going forward. But I didn’t go to my desk, and I didn’t put my headphones on.

I went to the rocking chair we bought for our son when he comes, and I sat there - gently swaying and trying not to spill my coffee all over it, because for some reason it’s fucking beige - and looked out over the city skyline. 

I slugged back my coffee surrounded by all the stuff we’ve panic-bought for the baby, and I got to take all of it in - washcloths and the changing table and romper suits - with a sudden focus and a clarity and a rising excitement that I really hadn’t allowed myself to feel until today, because until today the work was still unfinished and there was still much left to be done.

All at once I felt very free, and fully sated, and happy and proud for everything that’s coming next.

There’s so much to feel grateful for from the past three years of working on this show. But what’s probably going to sit with me the most is being able to arrive at that moment and those feelings today, - and we have all of you incredible people to thank for that.

Not just in terms of listenership or financial support, although that’s been truly invaluable and a lifeline for us that’s enabled us to actually make the show - but also your enthusiasm, your passion, your jokes and comments and everything that’s helped to keep us motivated and working on it.

So - with as much feeling as words can convey, thank you so, so much for everything.

What’s coming next, in rough order

#1: Parentdom is going to take over our lives for a while! I also want to write the final Patreon episode commentaries in the next few days, while I have the time and the clear memories. #2: The next thing we’ll organise will be the post-season Q&A (we’d also like to do some kind of off-camera cast party if we can make schedules work, just to say thank you to our amazing VAs and celebrate with them). Please do ask us questions! #3: We have long-unfinished commitments to the Patreon which I need to complete: the last two episodes of So Long, Good Luck, and rounding off Sid Wright’s story. As ever, huge thank-yous for your patience with these; they’ve just been impossible to polish off while also working on the main show so much. #4: Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time is the possibility of going back to Season 1 and redesigning it from scratch to try and bring it closer in style to S2 and S3. We have the raw audio files - some of the mic quality will just be rough no matter what, but we can certainly try.  This is something I want to be conscientious and careful about; I very much want to respect the sound design work that’s already taken place, and ensure we’re not overriding anything. But I do know that the initial quality still sometimes puts new listeners off; we were learning a lot about direction and mastering from scratch, and our designers were working with limited budget and a total lack of plugins, so there’s simply a lot more we can achieve now. (This would also be a good opportunity for me to finally rework the transcripts, another fallen hurdle). #5: A few months back, we were contacted by a literary agent in NYC who was interested in us adapting the show into a series of novels. There’s a long road ahead to actually get published, but I'm thrilled to say that I have signed with them and I’m really excited to hopefully start work on the first book once I’ve settled into dad-dom. I’ll need to check what’s possible, but if it doesn’t interfere with any contract condition I’d obviously love to share excerpts on here as it’s written. #6: Then there’ll also be another larger audiodrama project - we’ve spoken about the different possibilities before! Excited to get started on our final choice.

Just one last word about endings

God, endings are scary. Because endings are impossible.

How many serialised stories actually end in a way that’s received unequivocally well?  People yelled at The Sopranos for its ambiguity and open-endedness. People criticised Breaking Bad for treating Walt too sympathetically at the end and relying on a generic mob of snarling Nazis to act as his final foe.

Endings are either too pat and neat, or too inconclusive to be satisfying, or too surreal and dreamlike, or they simply make what feels like the wrong choices for the characters we care about. We’re all caught in that barbed wire, creators and audience alike, weighed down by the baggage of what’s come before and we've already spent so much time anticipating the infinite possibilities of how it could all turn out - it’s like we can’t get free of the story that’s trying to end. 

And the beautiful thing about these longform, iterative works is that they insist upon becoming completely ungovernable. No matter how much of a planner the creator claims to be, how much prepwork they carry out - they were never really in control. There’s spontaneity and surprises and dead ends and beautiful distractions that come spilling out along the way (I was baffled and delighted to learn that people really - at the end of the show, with such limited time to spare - wanted to find out what had happened to Eddie*). 

So they can’t end. Not really. There’s too much wonderful mess in them to ever be reasonably disentangled.

And, of course, for every ending people remember with frustration or dissatisfaction, there’s another hundred endings that nobody remembers at all, because we lost our enthusiasm along the way and it feels better to keep going back to the start and avoiding the slow decline. (Who the fuck remembers how the umpteenth X-Files reboot ended? What increasingly tired post-modern antics was Alan Moore getting up to in the final League of Extraordinary Gentlemen books?). I really just didn’t want the show to end up in that latter category.

All of that probably sounds like I’m warding off criticism about the show's ending, but for me it’s actually been the opposite. 

For an ending which is all about narrative dissatisfaction, and failed potential and missed opportunities, and how we need to come to terms with the lack of existential fairness and certainty and narrative control in our lives and keep ploughing forward all the same for as long as we possibly can, I’m massively stunned at just how positive the reception has been on here and elsewhere, and that’s something I’m actively having to process, because I think I was fearfully anticipating much more pushback.

But, look - the Eskew finale was originally quite poorly-received and then people came back around to it over time. So I’m not going to pat myself on the back too hard, because maybe it’ll ultimately be the opposite with this show, and that’s OK. For 200 years everyone was convinced King Lear was improved by having everyone survive at the end and get married. Endings take time to settle into their final condition.

For now, I am incredibly relieved that the ending we chose seems to have landed for most people, and I’m incredibly grateful for the lovely messages we’ve got about it and for the trust in us that you’ve all shown throughout the story.

So, yeah, let’s end with another thank you, because that’s what I feel so deeply and so forcefully at this point.

Thank you so much again, and speak soon.

Jon

*My take? We’ve established that the guy is in some kind of blue-collar job and has been pushed into constant overtime due to the reduced workforce. We’ve seen that the so-called ‘national holiday’ doesn’t actually rescue workers from their commitments. So I personally imagine that Eddie was working during the parade somewhere on the city outskirts, and is alive and well.

[faelapis]

first three eps of the season were good. after that, arcane season two just completely fell apart.

it ignored all themes of oppression, police violence, cait's slip into fascism, the zaunite revolution, etc. all in its need to introduce a bunch of pointless league lore and create 762 new storylines, despite only having one season to tell them. and so it told zero of them well.

idgaf about the black rose. idgaf about it suddenly being about stopping the robot uprising. idgaf about warwick (vander is effectively already dead. the only purpose of this false hope was to bring him in line with league canon). ambessa started off as an interesting character, but as soon as the caitlyn storyline fell apart, so did any motivation of hers that actually made sense.

jinx became a tragically pointless character who ended up in the exact same self hatred-spiral she started the season in. except instead of being brought on by silco's death, now it's isha's death. sevika gets a pointless minority seat on the council, but it's only one seat, with no assurances that anything will actually change for zaun. ekko gets no character arc whatsoever. he's just a generic good guy who does good guy stuff. the viktor/jayce story had a sweet ending, but it took up far too much screentime in a show whose main characters are supposed to be vi and jinx. vi never gets to have a moment where she either accepts or learns from her failures. she ends up a surprisingly passive role the entire season, which could serve an interesting internal character arc, but that never happens. her only "arc" is to be comforted by her cop gf.

and really that is the original sin here. because the season's first three episodes promised so much about cait. it promised not just her slip into authoritarianism, but to explore why and what impact it has on her relationship with vi. who vi wants to be, in relation to this person and this system.

this image is the embodiment of what i wanted this season to be. it's a conscious reference to macbeth, the shakespearian tragedy in which the main character's obsession with becoming king and remaining in control results in war and bloodshed. if told carefully, it could be brilliant commentary on cait, on fascism, on social hierarchies, personal trauma and the nature of power.

we get none of that. instead, her fascism arc is lazily resolved by just undoing it as soon as she sees vi again - and no, this does not count as a "love conquers all" resolution. i'm not opposed to that ending! but cait's heel-turn came out of nowhere!! it felt like a cowardly move on the writers part, because they didn't want to make viewers uncomfortable with the main ship.

vi became a complete mush of a character. she just reacts to whatever others (mainly cait) does. she has no motivations of her own. and like i already said, this does not fuel a compelling arc about her depression or trauma. the question of whether she should believe in others never goes anywhere. except of course, to be comforted by cait. so vi, in her own right, does not exist for any narrative purpose this season. she just... is sad and looks good. she puts on her big punching gloves and does a few show fights. download league of legends. unlock the depressed punk vi dlc costume today.

[ohnomausey]

Okay, so I was asked (thank you @schafpudel for allowing me to talk about my favorite academic research field LMAO) to post my elaboration on how Mytho is a combination of and commentary on two hero archetypes, namely two opposing pre-existing Siegfried-characterizations and how that is referenced in the show (mainly through the music).

Sooo in the first half of the show Mytho is mostly characterized by being the prince that stands between the black swan and the white swan, Odile and Odette, Krähe and Tutu. The according scenes are accompanied by the music from the ballet „Swan Lake“. The prince of the ballet (he is called Siegfried) is notorious in the world of ballet for being extremely passive in his role as a prince, having his decisions made for him. All influence he has on the story itself is also by him NOT doing something (for example while hunting he chooses NOT to shoot the swan etc.). He’s kind of infamous for that and created the archetype of THE *ballet*-prince many others were modeled after.

Officially Mytho's character theme is from another Tchaikovsky ballet suite: the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from „The Nutcracker“. The reference falls kinda flat and i am not 100% sure what it means but the Sugar Plum Fairy is not much more than a kind, soft, benevolent princess-fairy. It sounds the part too and i think the softness fits season one Mytho regardless.

The Siegfried-references that are a lot more interesting however come from the Wagner operas being referenced. WHENEVER (and by this I really mean every single scene) where the main focus of discussion is Mytho’s identity of the prince from Prinz und Rabe, or his returning emotions and agency, the music that plays in the background is Richard Wagner’s “Siegfried Idyll” which isn’t directly from any of Wagner’s „Ring of the Nibelungen“ Operas, but stands in close relation to them! It plays when he is waiting for Rue in the „On the Evening of the Fire Festival“ episode and dances with Duck instead and she notes how “this must be the real prince” and also „he danced with me because HE chose to do so!“, it also plays in a lot of scenes in between, e.g. one where Mytho himself talks about wanting his heart back in episode 14 and then most importantly during his transformation into Prinz Siegfried in episode 25, shortly after which he calls himself “Siegfried”.

Wagner’s Siegfried is the hero of the composers biggest work. He is also the “ideal man of the future” as coined by Wagner in his more sociological, revolutionary writings. He stands for heroism, revolution, standing up to the gods and bringing with him literally a new era of time (Wagner literally named his SON „Siegfried“ and wrote the „Siegfried Idyll“ for him when he was born. That is how much faith he had in the idea of this very masculine hero figure that will lead us all to peace and the future…). Wagner’s Siegfried is the ideal hero archetype as we still reference in stories today. He is fearless, strong, intuitive and reckless as he slays the dragon and gets the girl but also oblivious and easy to manipulate. He is also not much of an empath…

Raven!Mytho is characterized by „Siegfried's Death March“ from the last opera in Wagner's cycle („Götterdämmerung“) — the work that plays when Siegfried dies in the opera. Raven!Mytho is the subversion of the ideal hero, the prince that is confused by his ideals and twists them around: "If i am supposed to love the entire world, then everyone should love me in return". So the second season is Mytho being super close to reaching this ideal state of himself, but being corrupted before he can which as some kind of silver lining leads to him questioning the expectations that come with being a hero, or a prince and why he even wants this for himself in the first place. At least, that is what I think.

At the end, we look back on Mytho having grown from a passive, emotionless puppet that still held an almost intuitive protectiveness over those weaker than him (jumping out of windows and running into burning houses to save birds…) into the hero he is supposed to be: He becomes strong, assertive, forges the sword and slays the dragon (the Raven) like Siegfried does in Wagner's operas. But he is not fearless, or brash or wild like Wagner's Siegfried. He keeps the emotional, compassionate, even tormented ("feminine") side that the swan lake prince Siegfried carried. He cries when he finds out that a small, fragile bird was the one who brought him his heart back all this time and kneels in front of Duck RIGHT before he transforms in episode 25. And he also knows that there is a part of himself that will differ from the hero he is supposed to be, the selfish Raven-blood side that makes him more human than his existence as a sort of archetype would usually suggest.

So, long story short: Mytho is a wandering hero-subversion and commentary on the archetype and, in true Princess Tutu fashion, challenges traditional roles and gender norms while he is at it. The music has A LOT to do with this but it becomes evident even just in the story itself. Understanding the Wagner references just makes it evident beyond ANY doubt. It‘s a shame that a lot of it gets pushed back if you do not get the Wagner references (and to be fair, they are even more extensive than they should be — not everyone is going to understand them because they are so. goddamn. obscure.). It makes Mytho seem like a lot more of wasted potential than he really is. He should have had more time to develop in the series, directly. But giving him that would have led to other characters being pushed back. I think an additional one or two episodes to kind of stretch the second half of the series would have done the narrative a service, but that is critique on a really high level. I still think Princess Tutu is one of the best pieces of narrative media ever created.

[sehtoast]

That episode was insane. I’m getting tired of Firecracker’s ass she needs to get on somewhere. The racism the human centipede references the SA jokes like wtf..? I think that was one of the worst ones in the show.

Yeah, i’m… not entirely sure what the point of that episode even was beyond trying to expand their shock factor?  Hands down my least favorite episode to date, and i didn’t think i’d ever have an episode that stood out like that bc i’m honestly a pretty easy-to-please viewer. Hell, till now i’ve felt like s4 has been pretty strong with just a little bit of wavering in ep 5, but this was just… straight up bad. Sure, it feels like a season of pure filler, but the filler was at least strong– especially episode 4 since it gave us such incredible background on homelander.  Anyway, spoilers for s4e6, talks of SA, etc. following under the cut:

I haven’t been a fan of firecracker’s since she walked on screen, and i don’t think that’s going to change. Her character is incitement for the sake of it, which, given the state of the US irl, isn’t unwelcome commentary.  There was a flicker of hope when she did her little “i say this stuff because this is what the people who have nothing else in life need to unite.” For a fraction of an episode, she was interesting!  She was a strong show of how political grifters prey upon ignorance with outrage to turn otherwise normal, lonely people who are desperately seeking unity into the just… trainwrecks they’ve become today.  And then they dropped it. It’s like she lost the awareness of it just as much as the writers did.  She could’ve been really neat, but she’s nothing more than your average outrage manufacturing machine.  I mean… “jewish space lasers?” C’mon man.  Combine it all with the anti-trans rhetoric and it just is… overall sour (i have many thoughts on the anti-trans and other shit they’ve had homelander say insofar as how little he even believes in the shit he parrots [and i do mean parrots, because he has no idea what to do or say when it doesn't work, which we saw again very clearly in today's episode] for the sake of preserving his demos and appealing to politicians, but that’s for another time– maybe?)

As far as the racism and anti-trans stuff (hell, even the word for word parody of that politician who said “legitimate r*pes can’t become pregnancies because the body has ways of shutting it down,” or whatever it was verbatim)-- i think we’re to the point where the writers and kripke have begun to forget that these are things done and said to real people in real time. I understand the point is to show the audience how foul these things are, but there comes a point where it crosses a line and ricochets back to hurting the audience.  For myself, i’m trans. Every other episode containing a line that directly correlates to the real world dehumanization of us for political points is a stomach dropping moment because we’re being actively reminded that our rights are under constant attack. All three times have had like… non existent context relation to anything going on in the show and just feels… baffling? And then it feels bad.  And then it hurts.  The show has done this a couple times where they try to make commentary on the oppressive and cruel shit said about marginalized people (race, gender, etc) and it falls flat and just becomes a slap in the face to the viewer who it was perhaps trying to represent.

The human centipede deal with splinter, i could cope with. I actually laughed, because i can see people with cloning powers doing wild shit like that.  It didn’t seem far off from the context of the show that superhumans with superpowers will do wacky shit with said superpowers.  What we got in today’s episode was… not that. And it wasn’t good.  What we got today was an episode riddled with sexual abuse via CNC that was played as a joke the whole way through.  No, tek and ashley did not know that hughie was in that suit. However, hughie started yelling random words at one point. I’m not versed in kink culture particularly well, but i would think anyone partaking in that sort of act would recognize that as perhaps the sub has forgotten their safe word and they would call it off. That they’re yelling out random, out of context words would be a major, major red flag to cease. But they didn’t. So what we got was extremely unsettling, especially as it settled in more, and it gets played as a joke until hughie cracks at the very end.  Maybe the goal is to make people understand the gravity of sexual abuse toward men since society does tend to treat it as a joke. Maybe, and that’s strong if so! But i’m finding it difficult to understand how a show that put school sh**ting warnings in Gen V, warned of b*astiality during the Deep’s shit, and even just, y’know, hinted at what herogasm would be, could somehow not manage to warn that viewers were about to see someone sexually abused to such an extent.  I have an extremely strong stomach for media. I’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit online that i wish i could unsee, but it’s never made my gut churn like it did after this episode.

I have… a lot of feelings about this episode. I could even probably go into detail on why i think the whole breast milk thing at the end was less than stellar as well (which i'm almost positive i'm standing alone on), but i don’t want to stray too far off the ask content.  I’m just… yeah. This was hands down the worst episode i think the show has, with like two exceptions for a-train's scene with the kid and how hard i laughed at the webweaver shit (but the thing is, WW WANTED help boofing that stuff!!!! difference!!!). Based off critic reviews, i think the next two will be floating around the same degree of bad as well.  Given the last few episodes set the aftertaste of everything, i think the reviews being so negative are probably based upon eps 6-8 being awful.

As usual, we’ll fix it in fanon.

edit: i also need to know what the fixation is this season in making important things happen off screen. starlight gets pregnant off screen, has an abortion. it is central to the plot of starlight v. firecracker, but we're not shown a lick of that exposition. homelander and sage are plotting internment camps??? but we're TOLD, not shown-- which is the ultimate sin in storytelling. like... what is this season actually trying to do beyond just compound shock value?

[light-yaers]

Take Care: Chapter Eleven

Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List

Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes

A/N: it's been over a month i have no excuse other than MY BRAIN HURTS and I AM SO TIRED but i am so glad to be out of this rut. get ready for more, and get excited for this incredibly roy centric chapter

Word Count: 7.2k

Chapter Eleven

A month or so later you sat, rigid and tense, in the green room at Sky Studios. Up until then, the fanciest or most intense place you’d ever visited was that of AFC Richmond, the Dogtrack, but these studios kicked Nelson Road out of the fucking stadium. The only way you could describe it was sterile. Like a hospital, or some morbid place where people came to sit and be quiet, except you weren’t here for either of those things. 

You were here to see Roy, and that was the most intense part of it all. 

In the green room was a screen with a live relay from the stage, where you saw Roy, Jeff and Chris sitting at their familiar, unusually large, commentary table. They were taping some bits for an upcoming episode of Soccer Saturday, the parts where they weren’t required to be there live and in person. 

The breath hitched in your throat whenever Roy appeared on screen. It was still entirely new and off-putting, yet the internet had blown up when they’d seen the ex-Captain on the show. Finally, Roy Kent was back in the football world. Not playing, or coaching, but commentating. It was a good alternative, and he rocked it during the show, even despite his way with words and his… not entirely enthused demeanour. To anyone that didn’t know Roy, they’d probably think him crude and rude and blunt, all the ways he’d been described in the past in the press. To those that knew Roy inside and out, watching him on TV was like a breath of fresh air. Those closest to him had been saying the same thing for years– I could listen to you talk for hours and not get bored. 

You were no different, and in fact, had known Roy for over a year now. It was crazy how time flies, wasn’t it?

When he’d texted you an invite to the studios, you’d said yes immediately. Your time with Roy was short enough already, but now that he’d landed the gig his time was being soaked up more and more. You found yourself now, sitting at your desk at Pluto Press, just thinking about when you’d next see him. Any opportunity that arose you took by the fucking balls, and that’s exactly what went down when he’d asked you to the studios. 

Right guys, that’s a wrap for today. See you at the weekend. 

The show director said over the live screen, and you watched intently as Roy and his co-hosts had their microphone packs removed. The sound switched off immediately, but Chris approached Roy and stuck out his hand. The two legends shook hands quickly, and you noticed the smallest of smiles appear on Roy’s face as they pulled away. 

It made you smile back at them, bashfully, to yourself. There was something warming about seeing Roy interact with others like this. It was rare to catch him in a good mood at any of his prior jobs– which you knew very well from working alongside him at the Dogtrack– but seeing him enjoy his time, become buddy-buddy with Chris fucking Kamara, and all the rest made you exceptionally happy. 

You were proud of his successes, and understood his plunders. You wanted to feel that he felt the same about you in return, but you’d started this thing where you tried not to think about him like that. Assumptively, or overly-affectionately, or anything that reminded your heart of how you really felt about the man on the screen before you. It was just like you’d said to Keeley and Rebecca– you would never mention it, never tell him, and you were okay with that. 

You were okay with that. 

You jumped suddenly when the door to the green room burst open. A production assistant entered, headset donned and clipboard in his hands, shoved into his chest like he’d die without it. “Roy Kent’s plus one?” he asked. 

You looked around the empty room. You were the only one in there, but the assistant hadn’t even met your eye yet. You cleared your throat and raised your hand in the air, like a schoolgirl in class. The production assistant finally met your eye, and then clicked at you abruptly. 

“You– right. Come on, you’re wanted on set,” he said. 

You wasted no time standing up and pushing past him at the door, heart in your throat. The two of you navigated the backstage corridors of the studio, until you finally emerged on the set of Soccer Saturday. The lights were bright, too bright, and exceptionally warm to stand beneath. Camera operators, gaffers and runners still milled about the set, but you blocked them out as you went to step onto the stage. 

“Can I?” you asked the production assistant from earlier. He glanced up and went to object, opening his mouth wide, but stopped as soon as a hand descended on his shoulder. 

“‘Course you can,” Roy said, peering down at the production assistant. “Isn’t that right, Jacob?”

Jacob nodded, no doubt sweating profusely as Roy hoarded himself over the skinny kid. He was definitely younger than you by a number of years, probably fresh out of university. “Y-yes, of course, Roy.” 

You looked away, not wanting to laugh so meanly at the ordeal. It was just so Roy of him to intimidate crew at the studios, probably just from standing and doing nothing. It made your chest compress painfully, as you forced yourself away from the all-encompassing nostalgia of being around him all the time before, at the Dogtrack, and seeing it in person a whole lot more. 

God, you thought you needed a fucking lobotomy with how much you still clung onto the past. It only made you feel more childish, more pathetic, with every flashback that hit your brain and made you swallow away the want to cry. 

You stepped onto the stage a bit more, and looked out towards the several cameras. They all pointed in your direction, camera one and two and three, and however many more. “Jesus fucking Christ,” you muttered, scoffing at it all as Roy joined you on stage. “This is intense.”

“I never know how to react when I realise people can see my beard in 4K,” Roy said, as a small smile curled onto his face. He peered down at you softly, his gaze flicking across your features as you looked around the set curiously. “It’s good to see you.” You turned to him and looked up, smiling at him bashfully. 

This was just it– those little moments where you’d happily melt into a puddle on the ground beneath him, but you couldn’t. 

You coughed, laughing awkwardly, before you gently poked him in the chest. “You too,” you said, trying to keep things as playful as possible. Roy perked his brow at you questioningly, amused, but didn’t comment. Instead, he watched you panic subtly as you continued around the set, until you’d rounded the desk to his chair. 

“May I?” you asked. 

Roy bowed at you smally. “Be my fucking guest.” 

You sat down in his chair slowly, and leaned your elbows on the desk before you. You shuffled your shoulders, and puffed out your chest. “Oh, I could get used to this,” you said, feeling powerful. Roy growled at you gently. “Come on, sit in Jeff’s chair.”

If Roy wanted to object in any way, he didn’t. He obediently made his way around the desk and sat in Jeff Stelling’s chair, all the while looking at you like you were gold. You sucked in a deep breath and cleared your throat. “So, Jeff– what did you make of AFC Richmond’s last game? When will these fucking tied games end, hm?” you said, putting on your most gravelly voice possible in an attempt to imitate Roy. 

He sighed, but he still didn’t object. A small smile was still curled on his lips, and it made your gut coil. He leaned forward, and adopted Jeff’s stance. “Well, Roy,” he started, taking on a much cheerier voice than his own. It was off-putting. “Richmond has been hit hard, but not as hard as their mascot Earl was a few months ago. Poor fuck–” He coughed, and recomposed himself. “Poor dog.”

“Well fucking said, Jeff,” you replied, but burst into giggles as soon as you did. “What do you reckon is the reason for their tie records on top of it, though? And what about that prick, Jamie fucking Tartt, sculking around the club after his stint in the reality TV game?”

Roy furrowed his brows at you quizzically. “Jamie fucking Tartt is trying to get signed to Richmond again?” he said, his normal voice cutting through. 

You waved him off. “I’ll tell you later. Keep going,” you said quickly, bringing it back to the game. 

Roy growled, and went back to his Jeff impression. “Well, it could be a number of things, Roy.” You smiled to yourself, elated just to be around him again. “Your retirement, for starters, has left the team utterly abandoned and in the dust.”

You perked your brow at him.“I’m not sure that’s entirely true, really–”

“They’re devastated by the loss,” Roy cut you off again, and you burst out a giggle. Roy swallowed away his amusement then, as he met your eye. “That, and the loss of their social placement was definitely a hard pill to swallow.” You froze as the words fell from his mouth. “I– inside sources– have told the press about how hard it’s been after she left. Her fanclub made up of Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes and Sam Obisanya haven’t been the same since her placement ended.”

You swallowed painfully, as Roy’s gaze stayed stuck on your own for a second too long. Neither of you looked away, but your heart swelled to twice the size beneath your ribcage. This fucking sucked– cutting yourself off from feeling all this– fucking sucked. But, you felt it was necessary. You didn’t want to lose Roy again– couldn’t– and this would ensure he stuck around. 

Still, as he looked at you with a softness reserved only for people he truly gave a shit about, you couldn’t help but give in just this once. 

You dropped the act, and reverted your voice to your own. “I seem to remember there being more people in the fanclub,” you said. “Who else hasn’t been the same, hm?” 

Roy leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs. You thought he’d tense up, or lean forward, but you knew that position was a sign that he was truly comfortable. Meanwhile, you were trying to hide the fact your fingers were shaking. 

“I can think of one more.” He shrugged. “Want a name?” 

“No,” you said instantly, abruptly, taking back everything you’d put out before. You recomposed yourself, and smiled as normally as you could. “I think I already have a good guess.”

Roy opened his mouth and sucked in a breath, before he nodded at you in understanding. It felt like a situation similar to that first night, after the charity ball, when you’d offered another time. Roy could easily count how many times you’d held yourself back from him. He didn’t know what to say to reassure you that this– you and him– was okay. He wasn’t one for being mushy, but he figured there was a reason as to why you hadn’t made it clear yet. 

So, he stayed put. He waited, and he wondered if you ever would, and if you never did– then that would be that. It wasn’t worth blurting out his feelings in a, no doubt, blunt and plain way if it meant risking this all. Seeing you, being around you, taking it on the chin everytime you scolded him when he deserved it. 

You were one of the only people out there that could tell him to fuck off. He liked it that way. 

As the two of you drove home, you stared out the window on the passenger side. Being around Roy always made you feel warm, but since he’d become a pundit, things had felt heavier. Thicker, tenser, like you’d be able to cut the atmosphere between you with a plastic butter knife. Maybe it was due to you setting yourself invisible boundaries, but something still made your stomach flip whenever he indulged. 

Innately, you told yourself to shake it off. If things stayed as they were with you both meant nothing would change, but you admitting your feelings to him would. It was still out of the question, but you had to be stronger around him. You sucked in a breath, and it cemented things in your brain. No longer would you crumble at his warm remarks, his soft stares, his playful behaviour. These were just things that Roy did with you, and hell, you enjoyed it platonically just as much as you would romantically– so what did it matter?

Roy pulled up outside your building, and you clicked off your seatbelt. You didn’t get out of the car, however, and placed your hands in your lap instead. “Thanks for–”

“What are you doing next Wednesday?” Roy cut over you. Your brain short circuited.

“Uh– finish work at five, like normal. Why?” 

“I’ve got Phoebe that night. We were going to grab a chinese and watch Ice Age. You in?” 

You smiled to oblivion. “I’d love to. Why Ice Age though?”

“Because she’s fucking seven, and I’m unashamed to say that film makes me cry every time.”

You scoffed abruptly, surprised. “Really?”

“Really,” Roy said seriously. “That baby is still fucking ugly though.” You laughed, and nodded in agreement. Roy tapped the steering wheel, expelling happy energy. He growled in approval. “Fruit Shoot pre drinks are at six, so you better not be late.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you said, before you opened your door and got out of the car. Roy rolled the window down when you hopped up on the pavement on his side, and stuck his elbow out like a trucker. 

“See you later,” he said, though not with his usual hostility and unbothered attitude. This was a see you later that had feeling behind it.

You swallowed bashfully. “See you.”

On Monday, Rebecca met you at Pluto Press. She strolled through the building with purpose, shoes clicking intently on the hardwood floors, until she loomed over your desk fiercely. “I’m here to see the best writer in the building,” she said.

You peered up at her and smiled profusely, before you shot up and gave her a colossal hug. “God, I’ve fucking missed you.” 

“Me too, darling,” she said, before pulling away. She kept her hands on your shoulders for good measure. “Come on. Pasta and wine won’t eat and drink itself.”

You liked getting dinner with Rebecca alone. She was an important figure to you, despite the previous way she’d felt about the club and people like you in general. She twisted her arm around your own as the two of you made your way out of Pluto Press, and you had to admit that you felt confident when in stride next to Rebecca. She was well-known, a prominent businesswoman, a strong person, and you were glad to have her in your life.

Especially, when she had gossip to spill.

“He’s called John. He treats me nice. He’s good looking and intelligent and everything good, but…” 

“But?” you questioned, feeling giddy during girl talk. 

“Well, after Rupert and all the other bozos I’ve been with, I want to make sure he is everything I think he is.”

“Ah, you want your friends’ approval, is that it?” 

Rebecca picked up her wine glass. “Absolutely, I do.” She sipped at the contents, before placing the glass back on the table. “I had an idea of a double date with you and Keeley pretending to be girlfriends.”

You scoffed abruptly. “We wouldn’t even need to pretend that much. I love her and she loves me.” 

“Exactly my thoughts! But, Keeley is away in fucking Edinburgh this weekend, so that’s a no go.”

You thought through your options. Who could you bring as a possible fake date to this double date situation if it wasn’t Keeley? You snapped your fingers. “Oh, I know— I could bring Ted!” 

Rebecca looked like you’d run over a child with Roy’s Jeep. “Absolutely fucking not.”

You recoiled. “Oh, come on. Who the fuck else then?”

“Just bring Roy!” Rebecca exclaimed. Your cheeks warmed intensely. 

“Oh, fuck off,” you spat out, bringing your wine glass to your lips and trying to ignore the way your gut had lurched.

Rebecca leaned towards you, a mischievous smile on her face. “Just imagine it. You and Roy already look and act like a fucking couple sometimes–” You swallowed your wine abruptly.

“No, we do not—”

“Yes, you do!” Rebecca said strongly. “But push that aside for just a moment, and this could be a good experiment.” 

You placed your glass down strongly, curiously. “Go on.”

“If he feels for you the way you feel for him, then this is a good way to show it. Might give you both some clarity, because Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t take this back and forth much longer.”

Your defences were on high. “There is no back and forth—”

“Yes, there is! When are you going to grab that fucking hairy man and just kiss him!” 

“Rebecca!” you exclaimed. There was subtle anger in both of your voices, but it was drowned out by the extreme hilarity of the entire situation.

Despite your eyes being wide and your brows being perked wildly, both you and Rebecca had small smiles plastered on your faces that only meant one thing— I love you and I love this. She understood you, and understood your concerns and feelings and all the like, but that didn’t stop her from wanting you to get out and emerge from this funk.

“Just… think about it?” she suggested.

You smiled at her warmly. “This is Roy we’re talking about. He probably wouldn’t even do it.”

“That’s a possibility, for sure. But it’s still worth asking, isn’t it?” 

You tapped your wine glass thoughtfully, before you nodded strongly. “You’re right. I’ll ask him, and if it means we can help you, then it’s worth the emotional embarrassment.”

Rebecca smiled back at you. “And who knows?” she said, with a twinkle in her eye. “It might be fun.”

You raced home from work on Wednesday, and knocked on Roy’s door quickly, a bit after six in the evening. You were late for Fruit Shoot pre drinks, but the tube was to blame. He opened the door strongly and laid a blunt stare in your face.

“You’re late,” he said. 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“The Fruit Shoots are almost gone,” he said, smiling just a little.

“Then let me in quickly so I can fucking have one!” you exclaimed playfully. Roy let you in, and you slipped off your shoes in record time.

Roy’s house was so familiar to you now. The atmosphere inside made you feel safe and comfortable, and always brought you back to past times when you’d been inside or passing by his road. He strolled in toe next to you as you made your way to the kitchen. There were a number of Fruit Shoots and some snacks on the island as you entered.

“Phoebe!” Roy called as you grabbed a drink, and the pitter patter of feet erupted from the living room and around the corner.

When Phoebe bound towards her uncle you could hardly contain how happy you felt. She was someone special to him, really special, and he’d chosen you to meet her. That must’ve meant you’d done something right, surely?

Phoebe stopped before her uncle, but peered at you in curiosity. “What is it, Uncle Roy?”

“I want you to meet someone,” he said, before the two turned back to you. He placed his hand on her head affectionately, before he met your eye. “Phoebe, this is my friend—”

“Are you the one that wrote that story about my Uncle Roy?” Phoebe cut over him, and you scoffed abruptly from how confident she was at only seven years old. 

You leaned down slightly. “Yes, I am. Has your Uncle Roy talked about me before?”

“All the time!” Phoebe exclaimed, and you peered up at him playfully. Roy growled, embarrassed at his niece spilling all his secrets. “He told me that you wrote a story about him in the newspaper,” she said.

“I did. Lots of people read it.”

“He also told me that he’s annoyed at you because you’re the only person that can tell him when he’s done something bad,” she said it so surely that it caught you off-guard. You scoffed as you straightened out, and shot a playful look at Roy. 

He looked thoroughly embarrassed. His jaw was clenched, and his shoulders were square, and you knew he wanted to yell or hide away in that moment. It only made you laugh even harder, as a few giggles trickled from your mouth. 

“I’m definitely not the only person who tells him off, but I might be the only one he listens to about it,” you said. “Come on, what else has he said about me?” you urged playfully. 

Roy stepped between you and Phoebe. “That’s fucking enough.”

Phoebe gasped suddenly, and your eyes widened. “That’s a bad word, Uncle Roy!”

“Yeah, sorry,” he said, as if he’d apologised for the same thing a thousand times. He probably had. 

“You owe the swear jar a pound!” Phoebe pointed at Roy threateningly, chastising him. 

Roy messed up her bright blonde hair affectionately. “Add it to the rest of the bill.”

After a huge chinese dinner, where you all opened fortune cookies and laughed at the fact Roy got life will get better, just wait in his own, the three of you sat in the living room. Phoebe and you sat on the plush rug in front of the sofa, while Roy took the sofa. He crossed his arms for the duration of Ice Age, staying quiet as you and Phoebe bonded over how funny Sid the sloth was. 

When the baby came on screen, you grimaced immediately. You’d forgotten just how ugly it was. Roy was absolutely right. You twisted yourself around to meet his eye, and furrowed your brows. “You’re right. It’s still so ugly.”

“Told you,” he said, before you turned back around to the TV. Phoebe jumped up onto your lap as you did, and you snuggled her close to your chest as the film continued. 

Behind you, Roy was twitching. Despite only seeing the tops of your heads, and the shake of your shoulders when you laughed, there was something brewing within him when seeing you with his niece. He didn’t often introduce people he knew to her, because of the impact it would have on her when those people could inevitably leave. It had happened with her piece of shit father, and from that moment, Roy had started involving himself even more– just to give his sister a break, just because he loved his family so fucking much. 

Seeing you with her, getting on so well in this way, made him swallow away his deepest wants. In a perfect world, he would have made his way down beside you both on the floor. You would have leaned into him, sharing the weight of the child in your lap, and he would have draped his arm over your shoulder and held you close– but no. 

Roy inhaled a laboured breath, and forced himself to focus on the screen for the rest of the film; knuckles white, body tensed, trying and failing not to feel everything. 

Phoebe was fast asleep by the time the credits rolled. You held her in your arms as Roy got up and switched off the TV, before turning back to you both. You glanced down at Phoebe’s dreaming face as you frowned awkwardly. Roy’s expression was somewhere between stoic and glowing. His jaw clenched when you peered up at him in subtle pleading. 

“What do I do?” you whispered. 

“Fuck all. You’re stuck like that until she wakes up,” he replied, crossing his arms. You gulped away your nerves, looking back at Phoebe in your arms. Roy took his opportunity to smile without you seeing. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” you whispered harshly, but you inwardly accepted your fate. You peered back at Roy, and his face flattened. “So, are you just going to stand there?” He shrugged. “Roy!” you whispered strongly. 

That was enough for him to finally crumble. His hard expression faltered and was replaced with the smallest of smiles. He dropped his arms to his sides as he started towards you. “I’m fucking kidding,” he whispered deeply, as he knelt before you. “I’ve got her.”

You would have looked away as Roy picked up his niece if you had the chance. He was soft, and gentle, as he slotted his hands beneath her and hoisted her from your lap easily. He draped her over his shoulder with such care, as her cheek squished sleepily against his shoulder. His hand found her back and stayed there warmly. 

“I’ll tuck her in,” he said, before making his way out of the room and up the stairs.

You stayed put after he left, cleaning up the snacks from the coffee table and straightening out the sofa cushions just from habit. You chucked away empty crisp packets and yoghurt pots, and threw some finished Fruit Shoot bottles in the recycling bin. It was comforting as you familiarly navigated all the cupboards and drawers in Roy’s kitchen. You knew your way around his house very well, and often found yourself jealous of the space. It’s not that you didn’t like your apartment– of course, you did– but Roy’s house was proper. 

It was funny. Without trying at all, you were able to slot yourself alongside Roy here. Living alongside each other, cooking dinners, drinking beers on his back patio, watching shitty movies on the sofa. You slammed another Fruit Shoot bottle in the recycling as a way to snap yourself out of it. No good came from imagining more between you and Roy, especially after everything that had already occurred. 

You let out an angry huff at yourself as you leant upon the kitchen island, looking out towards the dining table. You wracked your fingers through your hair, as your eyes settled upon his bookshelf in all its glory. You enjoyed looking at it, no matter how many times you’d already scoured the overflowing shelves. Squinting, you gently approached the dining table as your eye hit upon something new; something that hadn’t been there previously.

On the middle shelf, right between cards from Phoebe and Roy’s sister, your article had been framed and placed for all to see. At the top, next to the title, was that classic picture of Roy from the first game of football you’d ever seen. His foot was on the ball, his stare hard, his hair trimmed in that robotic way that he’d used to do. 

You couldn’t believe he’d kept it, and framed it, and put it up– all of it. It made your heart thump incessantly in your chest. It made the logical side of your brain completely disappear; the side that told you not to jump, that held you back, that told you not to complicate things. 

“You noticed it, hm?” Roy said suddenly, appearing in the kitchen as you stayed glued in front of the dining table. 

You turned to him, wide-eyed and full of love. “You kept it?”

“‘Course I did,” he said, walking towards you slowly. “It was your big break, and the nicest thing ever fucking written about me. Why wouldn’t I keep it?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you started, but chose to stop part way through. You settled, and smiled. “It’s nice that you did.”

Roy nodded, and growled subtly. Silence trickled over you both, as the obvious tension between you was cemented even further. This always happened when you were alone, together, looking at one another like you were memorising the lines on each other’s faces. 

“Fancy a drink?” Roy asked coarsely. He had to cough slightly to stop his voice from breaking. 

You breathed out deeply. “Yes. Please. Yes please.” You found your voice again, and the tension dissipated slightly as he headed towards the fridge.

You sunk into one of the chairs at the dining table, watching closely as Roy opened the fridge and grabbed two green bottles of beer. It was nice that you didn’t have to say what it was you wanted, didn’t have to even direct, he just knew. He knew you, and you knew him just as well. He popped the tops off both bottles, before sitting down opposite you. He slid you a beer, and your fingers touched his own as he made the pass. It went unsaid, and you ignored your heart in your chest. 

The two of you sipped at your drinks in unison, transcending into a different realm of awkward (and) or sexual tension. It was always this way, this feeling. You’d grown so used to it from being so exposed to being watched, analysed, affectionately stared at, by Roy’s gaze, that you didn’t bat an eye when you looked at him– only to find him already staring at you. 

You squinted at him playfully. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said. 

You raised your drink to your lips. “Fine.” You drank, and let his lingering eyes watch as you gulped back more beer. As you placed your bottle down, you smiled. “Thank you for letting me meet Phoebe.”

“It was about time,” he said, leaning forward. “Like she said– I apparently don’t shut the fuck up about you.” He smiled smally, before the two of your drank in unison, just to fill the happy silence. 

You thought of Rebecca then. Of her strong jaw and broad shoulders and confident strides. If it’d been her, she would have taken matters into her own hands a long time ago. Before Roy’s retirement, before the article, she would have launched herself into this all strongly from the moment he’d invited you for a drink after the charity ball. 

As Rebecca’s gorgeous face shone behind your eyelids, you remebered your lunch. “Oh, fuck,” you muttered suddenly, as you recalled her double date situation. 

“What?” Roy questioned. 

“Well,” you started. You leaned forward to bridge the gap between you, and innately psyched yourself up to broach this idea to him. You couldn’t believe what you were about to ask of him. “Rebecca is seeing a man– John.”

“John,” Roy repeated. 

“And, well,” you said, stalling for time. You grimaced, just for lack of how to even get it all out. “She… well, she–”

“Are you having a fucking stroke or something?” Roy asked, before he slammed his hand over your forehead abruptly, searching for a fever. 

You burst out laughing as soon as he did, and swatted away his fingers. “Jesus Christ, I’m fine!” you exclaimed. 

Roy removed his hand from your head. “Then get to the fucking point!”

“Okay!” you exclaimed, getting worked up. “Rebecca is seeing this man, and she wants her friends’ approval to be sure he’s not a fucking weirdo.” You sucked in a deep breath, and reworded your entire question until it wasn’t one anymore. “You’re going to pretend to be my partner, so we can judge if this guy is a psycho or not.” After you blurted it out, you half expected Roy to scoff. Surely he wouldn’t say yes, surely he would protest, and whine, and sulk, and everything else that his thirty-six year old arse would do when forced into this kind of situation. 

Instead, he stayed still. He stayed calm, and his express didn’t falter. “When is it?” Roy asked. 

“This weekend.”

“Okay,” he said. 

“Okay?” You stared at him, utterly boggled. 

Roy furrowed his brows, as if saying yes was the most obvious answer of all. “Who else would you fucking take? Fucking Ted?” 

You chose not to tell him of your first choice, or of Rebecca’s obvious dislike of the idea. You leaned back in your chair and took a surprised gulp of beer, before clutching the bottle to your chest. “I can’t wrap my head around why you’re fine about this,” you said honestly. “Are you having a fucking stroke?” 

Quickly, you reached your hand out and laid it upon Roy’s forehead, mimicking his earlier behaviour. You thought he’d push you off, or laugh, or copy the way you reacted. When he gently leant into your touch, you froze. 

“I feel just fine,” he said lowly, his stare glued on yours. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist, and you dropped your palm from his head. Quickly, Roy shuffled his hand so his thumb hit your pulse point. “Are you alright?”

You felt your heart rate accelerate, which meant Roy felt it, too. 

Quickly, you pried your hand out of his grasp, but not before your fingers swiped over each other’s. You moved your hand to your lap, just to avoid staring at it as your mind raced. 

“I’m fine,” you said, despite the fact it was an obvious lie. That’s when Roy’s lips curled into a small smile. “But– great. This is great.” You tried to redirect the conversation to the double date, tried to keep things professional. “Rebecca gets the answers she wants, we get a free meal, and I get to dress in something other than the same five outfits I wear at work every week… but,” you said, tapping your glass anxiously. “We have to pretend to be a couple.”

Roy shrugged. “We’ll live.” He wasn’t ready to admit to you that he knew it would be easy. Maybe you might make it harder, but if all Roy had to do to be convincing was occasionally hold your hand, or sit close to you, or bicker like an old married couple, then he was already there.

You squinted at him, still confused. “You’re seriously okay with this?”

Roy shrugged again, but it was only with the sole intention to have you roll your eyes at him. He succeeded. 

As Saturday approached, it properly dawned on you what was about to happen. You and Roy had to pretend to be together, while simultaneously navigating not just Rebecca, but her newest man, as well. You found yourself wishing that Keeley wasn’t away, but that definitely would have been the easy way out. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go on a fake double date Roy fucking Kent– that in itself was something that (ashamedly so) made you so fucking excited that it was miracle you’d been able to contain it for the remaining days before the weekend. It wasn’t about the possible awkwardness that you could both feel at having to be noticeably affectionate, or the fumbling fingers that you would both have during those first few tries.

It was about the aftermath. 

It was about the possible shift that could happen as a result of this little charade. It was about the marathon you were already running to keep at bay every single feeling you had for Roy (and the ones he held for you that you had no clue about). It was about being able to leave that table at that restaurant still knowing that everything would be normal and unchanged and not fucking complicated.

That’s what you focused on for the rest of the week, and when Saturday morning turned to afternoon, and when that afternoon turned to early evening, you felt stronger. As you got ready to go into this shitstorm, you were determined not to let all hell break loose. 

Just down the road, Roy pulled a black t-shirt over his head. He paired it with black jeans, the usual, but opted to spray his most expensive cologne over the top— not the usual. It was true that he was excited about this. Just the opportunity to make you blush was enough to make him smile, and after he felt the upbeat pitter patter of your pulse he was beginning to doubt that you harboured no romantic feelings for him. 

Either way, no matter the outcome, he was going to grab hold of this situation by the throat. It was funny; being given the opportunity to be close to you, to imagine being together, and all the rest; but even just being allowed to pretend and put on a show for one evening made him feel satisfied.

Innately, though, he told himself not to go overboard. As much as your pulse had betrayed you, he wasn’t about to put you in an uncomfortable situation for the sake of it. Roy was almost a decade older than you, he harboured experience galore— what with being an ex-star footballer— but he still knew you weren’t the time to fuck around.

He glanced at his watch; he had a little under an hour before he was due to pick you up. This evening was certainly going to be one he’d remember for a while, even if he ended up wanting to fucking forget all about it by the end. 

Roy’s Jeep pulled up outside your flat. You heard it from your living room window, and quickly slung a small bag over your shoulder before leaving through your door. Roy cut off the engine before he jumped from the driver’s seat. As he rounded his car, the squeak of your building door sounded. He peered up, and what met his gaze was only the first step of his night fully starting. 

As you shut the door behind you, your dress blew up to just past your knees. Compared with the charity ball, you’d opted to wear a jacket over it in this cold, which almost made Roy laugh to himself. You descended the steps as he took a relaxed stance by the passenger side door, and when you finally glanced his way, he was already looking at you. This was a running theme, you thought, catching Roy’s eye, only to find him already looking at you gently. 

“Hey,” you said, slightly breathlessly from the cold but also from him. You trickled your gaze over his body. He wore nothing different than normal, his usual combo of black on black, but this time it felt different. It was oddly reminiscent of the night of the charity ball, a year ago now, but with a slight twist.

You felt older, you knew each other better, and that unspoken tension hadn’t cropped up until later that fateful night. Now, everything was different. But in the best way. 

“Hey,” Roy said lowly, his voice gravelly. “Ready to go?”

You nodded sweetly, smiling at him as you stood face to face. You inhaled, and as you did, his cologne hit your nose. You had to ignore how fucking good he smelled, even more so when you both clambered into the car.

A few minutes into the journey, Roy cleared his throat. “So,” he started, and you sensed some trepidation in his tone that made you look at him slyly. “This double date thing… how far are we taking it?”

Abruptly, you choked on your own spit. You coughed loudly and turned towards the window, until the tickle in your throat finally ceased. “What?” you croaked, panicking. Roy smiled to himself quickly, before he clenched his jaw forcefully. 

“This guy, Jim, or whatever. He thinks we’re an item, right?” Roy continued. 

You furrowed your brows at him curiously. “Yes.”

“So, how far are we taking this fake relationship shit?” Roy asked again. 

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. “I don’t fucking know.” You tried to act casual and unbothered. It was fucking difficult. “Far enough for it to be believable, I guess.”

“So,” Roy said. “Can I hold your hand?” 

You swallowed. “Yeah, obviously.” You kept your eyes ahead of you, but could feel Roy’s stare hit your profile every few seconds, only when he wasn’t looking at the road. 

“Okay,” he said. “Can I touch your waist, or– I don’t know– your thigh under the table, or some shit?” Roy attempted to lace stoicism within his words. He didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but he also wanted to know what he could and couldn’t do. Just for clarity, just so you were on the same page. 

You glanced out the window, looking away from him. You didn’t want him to see the warmth that had appeared on your cheeks. It was a miracle he couldn’t hear the butterfly wings that ravaged your stomach. “I don’t see why not.”

“Alright, fine,” Roy said, clearing his throat afterwards. His knuckles had turned white on the steering wheel. 

You sucked in a deep breath, but all it did was remind you of his cologne. “Anything else?” you asked assumptively, tensing yourself involuntarily. 

Roy stopped the car at a red light. “Yeah,” he said sharply, turning to you strongly. You turned to look at him, too, catching his eye with as much confidence you could muster. “Can I kiss you?” 

You stopped breathing. The urge to look at Roy’s lips was unavoidable. You wanted to stay calm, to stay cool, to stay composed, so your initially thought answer of yes, God, yes had to be contained on this occasion. You’d spent three days internally preparing yourself for this, but as soon as Roy started asking his questions your walls practically crumbled. His prying had a feeling behind it, intent, and you knew Roy well enough by now to know that he wouldn’t ask these things lightly. That was the first hurdle to jump over. 

The next– the way he was looking at you made you want to abandon your evening with Rebecca and John altogether. If it were up to you, you’d tell him to pull over the car on any desolate street he could find, just so you could finally give in to this silly crush. It was obvious this wasn’t just you anymore, that this small unspoken thing had developed further inside both of you, until it had left you in this fucking situation. 

A fake date, with real feelings. What a fucking nightmare. 

“I–” you started, but couldn’t get another word out as Roy’s gaze darted to your lips and back. 

Oh, the fucking bastard. He was good, really good, and he knew it, too. Was this what he did with the Spice Girls? Because it was fucking working. It was enough to make you want to spill everything, to not hold back any longer. 

“Roy.” You breathed out. 

He looked at you so softly. “Yeah?” he said lowly. 

“I need to tell you something–”

The shrill boom of a car horn from behind made you gasp. Roy twisted himself abruptly to the windshield, and the light that once was red was now green again. The car honked its horn once more, and Roy let out a growl. “I’m going, you fucking twat!” he yelled, before smashing his foot down on the accelerator. 

And just like that, the conversation had to take another back seat. You still had parts to play, and hearts to bear, and lots and lots of wine to fucking drink. 

CHAPTER TWELVE

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[quodekash]

yeah so im gonna make my silly little commentary posts for we are sometimes but not all the time

he stared at his friend's water and started smiling like a fucking idiot 💀

h2o just makes him giddy like that 🥰

also I genuinely fucking adore Pham and Fang's dynamic, they care about each other so much (I might cry)

I JSUT FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH CAN YOU BLAME ME

im sorry, i cant get over the fact that q fuCKING SANG SOUND’S SONG FROM MSP IN THE THIRD FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW

HES JUST SO SMOL I FUCKING ADORE HIM SO MUCH DUDE

here to pick up his twink

HES JUST SO SMOL THO LIKE CAN YOU BLAME ME???

I JUST WANNA RUFFLE HIS HAIR AND PINCH HIS CHEEKS HES SO FUCKING ADORABLE

i think i just really love satang cos during msp every time sound was on screen i lost my shit and now every time toey is on screen i lose my shit

btw i fully had to rewatch that entire scene, i was entirely focusing on satang’s little adorable fuckin face that i forgot to read and process the dialogue lmao

his expression is like “did you bring me here to do your chores, or are you gonna be honest and just say you want to makeout"

the real answer is just that he wants to spend time with him btu doesnt know how to do that normally 💀

(and also that he wants to make out with him)

WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING SMOL TODAY

HES TINY

HES THIS BIG 🤏

OML IT HAPPENED FOR LESS THAN HALF A SECOND BUT I PAUSED IT AT THE EXACT PERFECT MOMENT

I genuinely adore accidental kiss tropes in bls, its just so unrealistic its fucking amazing

[insert image of phum's friends walking in here (I had to delete some of my screenshots because I can only do 30 and I dont want to do more than one post for this)]

AND THEN HIS FRIENDS WALK IN, CLASSIC

it's so awkward and I am LIVING for it

people in bls always walk in at the WORST possible moments and its AMAZING

THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY TO ME

phuwin’s character trying to cook is so me

and also my sister, one time she was making spaghetti bolognese for us for dinner and she put way too much salt, and then to attempt to solve the problem, she put water into the pan to "evaporate the salt" 💀

the best part is I didnt even realise why that wouldnt work until my brother started laughing

anyway, back to the ep

WHAT DRUGS ARE IN THIS EPISODE TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER SO BABYGIRL

THEYRE ALL SO SMOL AND ADORABLE AND BBG WHAT IS GOING ON

HES SO TINY

Youre fucking KIDDING

IM SO SUDDENLY INVESTED IN THIS MAIN COUPLE

THAT WAS SUCH A SUDDEN SWITCH BRO

literally last week I was like "yeah okay I like it" and then suddenly im on the verge of tears when they make physical contact???

[insert image of pun eating]

PUN !

MY LITTLE GUY

I ADORE THEMMMMM

oh fuck yes I love this friendship already and it just started

AND CHAIN'S GETTING JEALOUSSSSS FUCK YEAH

they look like tired dads fr

is phuwin just fuckin short or is pond like 3 metres tall cos holy shit

LOOK AT HIM

SMOL BITCHES

EVERYONE'S FUCKING TINY TODAY

woah he really just went for it there

HOLY FUCK HE SAID YES

TAN IS LOSING IT HES SO HAPPY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

great frame

[insert that entire scene with the jump onto him and the holding hands and the FUCKING CHEEK KISS]

HES MY LITTLE FUCKING GUY

HES SO NEURODIVERGENT AND I ADORE HIM

KICKING AND SCREAMING MY FEET RN

he's jealoussssssss

I love pun so much, I truly would die for him

Welcome back to another episode of Toey Thinks Peem And Phum Are Dating (And He’s Right)

Im gonna be completely honest, if pond looked at me like that, id probably do whatever he tells me to without a second thought

thats all im saying

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FACE

HES SINGING THE FUCKING ABAAB SONG

IM CRYING DUDE THIS IS AMAZING

ARE THEY JUST GONNA SING SONGS FROM OTHER BLS FOR THE QHOLE SERIES? IM FUCKIN DOWN FOR THAT DUDE

this song is so out of winny’s range tho 💀

so fucking SMOL

also chains hand just always naturally rests on pun’s shoulder

literally all the time

what im saying here is I think they should kiss

HE DIDNT JUST GRAB HIS WRIST HERE HE GRABBED HIS HAND ERIJKGBNREJB HOLY SHIT

Cool! 👍

im glad they finally got there

FUCK YES NEXT EPISODE WE'RE GETTING THE SCENE FROM THE PILOT THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT

PUNCHAIN FOREHEAD KISS AND QTOEY CHEEK KISS BITCHES

okay now I just have one final question before I take my leave: what the FUCK was the song playing in the background of the qtoey scene near the end of the episode

it was just electric guitar and I KNOW recognise it but I cant figure out what fucking song it was (literally I finished the episode at like 1:30 but didnt go to sleep til 3 because I was trying to find the song)

so please, if ANYONE recognises it and knows what it is, tell me as soon as you can cos Im fucking dying

update: a moot is pretty sure the song played over other qtoey scenes earlier in the show (the same way msp did with noelm) so now im fuckin PSYCHED for the new song that’s gonna come out eventually

[sailoryooons]

Lights | Episode 0 | jjk (m)

❀ Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Producer! F. reader

❀ Summary: Meeting Jungkook was a chance of fate. A moment frozen in time, eyes meeting across a room full of lights. The more the two of you advance in your career, the more lost in the lights you become. What if you never find your way back?

❀ Word Count: 583

❀ Genre: Heavy angst, Idolverse, strangers to lovers, eventual smut

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: Nothing really in this chapter, vague references to being a kid growing up in a competitive environment, reader being a little poetic about her childhood.

❀ Published: September 28, 2023

❀ A/N: Hola, in honor of 3D I decided to post the prologue of this thing I have been working on while on hiatus as a cool project to inspire myself to write again. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I am writing this story as though it were sort of a ... famous person tells all. 98% of the story will be in the present tense and we read it as if it's happening, with small interludes of present-day where reader is reflecting on her life in an interview with Namjoon. I have no idea if I will stick with it, so please be patient and let me write this at whatever pace works best for me. And remember - there are going to be very dark parts of this series, and Jungkook and reader both are going to have very ugly moments. If that’s not your cup of tea and you do not like to see characters epically fail and sometimes reveal the ugly parts of themselves, this fic is not for you. 

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment, or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. This series in no way attempts to paint a realistic depiction of idols, or the industry, or draw comparisons. None of the scenes or elements in this series in any way reflect how I perceive the music industry and do not represent any opinions as a whole. This is not intellectual commentary, it is just straight-up fiction. 

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Ask | Lights Playlist | Tag Lists | Next Episode |

“In omnia paratus. Ready for anything,” you scoff, shaking your head. “Seems like a pretty big ideal for a teenager. You have to understand, we all felt that way. A bunch of kids working for the same dream, ready to push, shove, claw our way to it.” 

Namjoon adjusts his glasses and nods. His long legs are crossed at the ankle as he leans back in his seat, the perfect picture of poise. His glasses are low on his nose and he’s dressed in a warm cardigan today to fight off the chill of Autumn. 

“Was it really competitive?” he prompts, fingers laced together. “What was that like?”

“It’s hard to say. I viewed it through the lens of a kid at the time. I guess to me it would have felt like a game - be better than everyone else, get a reward.”

“And now, through the lens of an adult.”

You heave a sigh and blow out air. You're in the comfort of your home up in the hills, a fireplace crackling to your left. The production crew thankfully didn’t fuss with your living room too much. It was perfect the way it was, muted tones and lived in, not some minimal, sterile space like Seokjin might have or the maximalist terror of Taehyung’s estate. 

“Now,” you venture, slowly stringing the words together. “I think it was where I learned to take no prisoners and to do whatever I had to do to win. Being that close to your dream, and meeting the legends you want to imitate while living in constant fear it might be taken away… it creates a feral desire in you. Feeds the monster inside the kid that has just started to wake up.”

“Would you say that’s where the hardship began?”

You shake your head. “Not the kind that we’re here to talk about. It wasn’t like - I wasn’t a child star, you know? I was still relatively normal. It was school and working on dancing and singing and all of these things because I wanted to produce music and it was hard, but it wasn’t… It wasn't cruel. It wasn’t dark.” 

“When would you say is when it first really started to turn for you?” Namjoon asks, leaning forward a bit. “The first moment you can remember that you might have taken that first step towards everything.”

“In omnia paratus,” you murmur again. You think about that night, gaze unfocused. You no longer see Namjoon, but rather a shock of shaggy, black hair, doe eyes filled with promise, and an arm full of tattoos. “Ready for anything but Jungkook, apparently.” 

Namjoon raises his brows. “So the night you met Jungkook?”

“In nihil paratus. I was ready for nothing, least of all the likes of fucking Jeon. That was the first night my management ever asked me to do something extreme. So I did.” 

“Tell me about that night, then.” 

You remember it so well. You’re not sure how out of all the memories, this one seems so preserved. Crystal clear and sharp at the edges. You remember the tight, white shirt Jungkook was wearing, tucked into dark jeans paired with boots. His tattoos were stark against his shirt and his hair was wavy, a little damp with sweat. 

Jungkook had looked at you from across the event floor, an ocean swimming with swaying bodies and flashing lights, cryogenic fog hanging in the air. You’d just walked in, careful not to trip in your stilettos as you walked down the steps. Nervous. Near cracking under pressure.

And then you looked up, right at those round, dark eyes. 

In nihil paratus. You were ready for nothing. 

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

A penny for your thoughts on the Dikinbaus episode? 👀👀👀

Omg okay so I definitely have to rewatch it like 10082927 times but just to go off of my late night 'delirious from excitement' watch, I am absolutely ECSTATIC at the way the episode treated Butters and gave him a well deserved win.

Butters has evolved a lot over the course of the show, he used to be a 100% naïve and innocent boy who was absolutely clueless about everything mature or terrible going on around him and it was always a very hopeful thing for me to watch him keep going and loving life despite how much the world tore him down on all ends. In a way, watching old seasons makes me miss the old Butters, but if Butters had just stayed the same for the next 20 seasons, he would hardly feel like a real/three dimensional person as he does now.

The changes and mood swings he's gone through, as well as the resilience he's started to build up were weird to watch at first (*COUGH* s20) but then they've started making more and more sense, especially taking into account the Post COVID special and the two wildly different paths his life could go.

That all being said, Dikinbaus was an absolutely satisfying cathartic episode as a Butters enthusiast, because he's just finally embracing things he's genuinely good at and demanding justice from someone who's arguably taken advantage of him the most in the entire show: Cartman.

It's kind of like Butters' version of Wendy's "Breast Cancer Show Ever" episode, where she's often been disrespected in a sexist way by him and no one (no teachers/adults) ever really did something, so she took matters into her own hands. Cartman is always screwing Butters over by letting him take the fall for his schemes, making Butters spend money on his behalf, and Butters has let him get away with it for so long, and so have Butters' parents (and everyone else but I especially blame the adults bc yknow).

This makes Dikinbaus kind of a kickstarter for Butters' "Fuck you, Eric!" moment at the end of Post COVID: The Return of COVID, which is nice to see because in the "Worldwide Privacy Tour" episode earlier in the season, Butters' behavior (after his parents sent him to rework his "brand") reminded me much more of Vic Chaos. It's nice to see these two versions of Butters' future reflect in present episodes, and I'm excited to see more of it in future episodes.

I've been rambling about Butters only but tbh I found the Kenman dynamic in this episode hilarious too. It makes me kind of mourn the respect Butters had for Kenny though, bc I'm sure that after this episode it must've significantly gone down, but honestly I was just happy to see Kenny have some fun even if it was at Butters' expense. Let him be a dumb immature kid fr

The only issue I had with the episode for now is the commentary on mental health days at work and the underlying "today's youth is sensitive and too lazy to work" message, which lacked nuance and just kinda felt like old people complaining. It would've been okay if they'd kept it only to Cartman, kinda like the "there's queer people, and then there's Mr Garrison" thing, but they brought Kenny & other kids into that narrative too so it made me feel a little eh about the commentary. But oh well

Sorry anon, you gave me a penny and I'm throwing a whole thesis on you but I still thank you a lot for asking and letting me ramble. Kisses to you :>>

[tsbs-shipfessions]

Everyone kissing everyone >>>>>>>>>>>>>

OK but fr, I am the monarch of multi-shipping. (Was gonna put king or queen, then I remembered I'm above mortal titles.)

Here's some ships for all my favorite characters(Solar, KC, & Earth):

Solar x Nebula. I've seen it around. It's cute, I like their dynamic.

Solar x Solar's Sun(Sundew). Especially after today's episode. Tragic yaoi for the win!

Solar x Bloodmoon. I think it'd be cute. Maybe a bit toxic as well.

Solar x KC. They never met. SO????? WHO CARES???:D Also tell me they wouldn't be adorable

KC x Spaniard. They're ADORABLE. I have no other commentary.

KC x Ruin. KISS. KISS. KISS. Bloodmoon has 2 parents now(They'd hate it lmfao)

Earth x THE ENTIRE WOMAN POPULATION. I like girls:>

Earth x Puppet. They cheat on their partners with each other (We just need Foxy and Monty making out on the couch-)

Now I'm eepy.

[captainhunnicutt]

I was watching Commander Pierce, today and had some thoughts. I feel like, this is one of those episodes where the viewer is supposed to think Hawkeye is being a jerk with his "leadership style," and how he overdid it etc. etc. but the more I think about it... the more I feel bad for him. I don't think he was actually at fault here as much as initially thought.

Hawkeye knows who he is. He knows what his faults are and doesn't try to pretend they aren't there. He even says he isn't fit to lead. His insignia is a cringing chicken. He doesn't know how to give orders. He legitimately gives every reason putting him in charge is a bad idea - and not one person takes him seriously. I feel like sometimes, throughout the show, this theme reappears. People don't listen or take Hawkeye seriously because he says things in such a way that makes it sound like he's cracking a joke - but behind every joke there is some semblance of truth. And it feels like an argument could be made that that particular consideration isn't often awarded to Hawkeye. It's the exact opposite of BJ - who delivers a lot of very telling statements calmly and collected and no one pays any attention. Like when BJ says in Our Finest Hour that the war has made him angry, and we all act surprise (the only person who doesnt is Hawkeye) when he lashes out in BJ Papa San. It's the same idea. They aren't taken seriously, and that feels like the most dehumanizing thing, which in turn feels like commentary on soldiers/draftees in general. They are just chess pieces in one large game that never seems to end.

But anyway, Hawkeye doesn't think he can lead, but he really is a natural leader. He leads by example and by not following protocol. By thumbing his nose at rules and regulations - and that is actually working until the influx of wounded and the lack of physical hands available to help. So he defaults to the only option readily available to him. The "army way". There are rules and regulations and standard operation procedures, that in theory, are supposed to help lead. They are supposed to be ways to get themselves to the other side of a situation. So Hawkeye tries to abide by them, use them to his advantage, but with people who are conditioned - by Hawkeye himself and commanding officers continuously allowing it to happen - to NOT play by the book. So what do they do? They lash out at Hawkeye. They make him out to be the worst leader and doing a terrible job - which isn't entirely fair to him.

Hawkeye didn't have the confidence in his own natural abilities to lead and to get them through everything, and fell victim to thinking the "army way" was designed to actually help.

And while I think BJ was honest upon his return, and did exactly what "Captain Pierce" would've done, I don't think he was actually mad at Hawkeye or "Commander Pierce." I think it's one of those situations where he wasn't mad, just disappointed. I like to believe (re: it's possible and I'm in no way saying this is absolutely what happened but it's open for interpretation) BJ was the first person (maybe the only person) to recognize that Hawkeye would've done just fine if he had led as himself and not tried to be the exact thing he normally despised.

Thanks for coming to my messy MASH talk.

[trekmupf]

The Court Room Drama AU ⚖️

Pro

Great episode to show important parts of Kirk's character

he really is affected by any death under his command and cares for his people deeply

he's really trying his best with Jamie and stays kind to her throughout

The way Kirk refuses to let the others in the bar be vague about what's going on and wants them to be direct and honest, just like he tends to be (unless it's for a ruse); instead of escalating the situation he leaves

he holds onto his beliefs not only ethically but in himself as well – he knows what he did and sticks to the truth instead of taking an easy way out, even though the situation seems hopeless

The first time we see how decorated Kirk is within Starfleet- really one of the fleets finest. Also the way Cogley frames Kirk's decorations is so well done.

When he takes the stand he is 100% sure of his actions and himself. We know that Kirk admits mistakes when he makes them, and this instance isn't one of them

Shaw in context of being Kirk's ex confirms again that he really likes smart and independent women and respects them, even after a relationship ended

Kirk has good knowledge of engineering as well

Shatner's acting in the episode is really great – he can do these subtle emotions and Kirk's character so well

Also the fact that his crew trusts him, each in their own way, and know that he wouldn't do this. 100% ride or die crew

McCoy making it clear that he stands behind Jim from the first scene with Shaw onwards; Also Bones' southern charm gets me every time

Shaw is a great character: she's much more than just an ex, she has her own believes and goals and is competent at her job; also the tension between her and Kirk rising because of her duty to her position as prosecutor, when their relationship itself as exes is fine

Actually this is how I imagine Kirk being with ex partners, very nice, lovely and amicable.

Cogley is a great character as well: very adhd smart guy vibes, initially strange but when the hearing starts he goes off and is so competent and passionate!

Proper intro of the dress uniforms! (honorary mention of Kirk's slutty wrap top, of course)

Spock and Bones serving during the hearing in said uniforms, absolute kings. Everyone looks so good in this episode.

Even though said before Spock's defence of Kirk deserves it's own point. His argument is so vulcan and suits him so well, and his trust in Kirk as a person doesn't waiver for a second during the entire episode

The same goes for McCoy (also DeForest's voice during the courtroom scene is VERY nice)

Finney is another one of Kirk's nemesis, I mean how many nemesis can one guy have, Kirk is literally the ultimate ex no one gets over (looking at Movie 2)

This episode shows once again that Starfleet isn't as cleancut as it seems and has problems – Stone offering Kirk a way out when fully believing that he made that mistake and killing Finney is questionable at best

Great episode for further world building: we learn more about Starfleet itself (it's actually the first time the name is dropped), we meet other crews, other ships get named and we get some backstory about Kirk

Even though we have multiple sets this was supposed to be a bottle episode and it shows. Set mostly on a starbase (unlike most episodes that are about new planets), the characters are in focus

Great commentary made from a 60s perspective but still relevant today: the “infallible” machine vs the fellable human. We have three people vouching for Kirk's character in court vs one video and one computer log. The people get immediatly questioned whereas the computer is factual until Spock's proves it's wrong. The idea that mashines and computers make less or no mistakes compared to people is still relevant, see the whole debate about self driving cars.

Also Cogley's speech about human rights and machines not having those rights works really well in the context (will get interesting in TNG)

Generally the acting and interaction of all characters really hold the narrative until the twist in the end

Despite the serious subject the interpersonal moments and the way Cogley works provide some tension relief

I just love the way Spock sits in the captains chair here. No notes.

Con

Jamie can be exhausting

Shaw as an ex shouldn't work this case (even though she's shown as 100% professional and capable)

I know why it's done for the narrative but resolving this serious situation with a fistfight is wild

Counter

Kirk shirt rip (I mean this is the rippiest shirt so far)

Technically Evil AI (as the concept of computers gets explored)

Quote

If I let go of a hammer on a planet that has a positive gravity, I need not see it fall to know that it has in fact fallen. - Spock, believing in Kirk

"Mr Spock, you're the most cold-blooded man I've ever known" "Why, thank you, doctor" -Bones & Spock

Moment

Spock's, McCoy's and Kirk's testimonies

Summary

A great character driven episode that focusses on Kirk as both a person and a captain as well as his relationships with the other characters. The interesting question of computers being fallible as well as a personal betrayal while Kirk's future is on the line make for a good and gripping narrative.

Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[x-aefx]

ONE TIME THING - BELLA RAMSEY (PART2)

Pictures above are not mine

Summary: unbeknownst to you, you meet actor Bella Ramsey. You two hit it off but your paths lead two different directions.

Bella Ramsey x female reader

Warnings: none (?)

Taglist:

She/they pronouns for Bella.

★★

You were confident in saying that today was the busiest you had ever seen the café. Every table occupied, every chair sat on, crowds of people surrounding the tv that hung on the wall cheering or making other loud commentary every so often.

You could never understand the obsession with sports, looking around you, you didn't think you ever would.

You sighed tiredly as the third person in the last few minutes had knocked into you. Pushing through endless amounts of bodies you made your way to the door labelled "staff only". Untying your apron from your waist you made a grab for your coat and handbag. When you had all your belongings you made your way back into the main area.

You had no desire to stay any longer than necessary.

The place was loud and so warm that it felt suffocating. When you had safely secured the box that was left for you behind the counter into your arms, you sped for the door.

Once the door closed behind you, trapping all the noise from inside, you felt a relief like no other. It was like you could finally breath, think, again.

Luckily Aaron's apartment was only a short walk away so you decided you would go straight to his rather than your own, as it was a good 20 minute walk and you were exhausted.

Fighting your way through the crowded street and avoiding the puddles on the footpath you kept walking at a fast pace until you reached the familiar apartment complex. The building was large and the people whom resided in it were nice. Stepping into the elevator (thankfully empty) you pressed floor 4 and patiently waited.

You always told yourself you should always expect the unexpected when it came to Aaron, to not be surprised at his antics but being so tired left your guard down.

"fuck off you fat bitch!"

Stopping briefly at the sound off your best friends voice followed by an unnatural sounding screech, your steps slowed slightly once you began cautiously walking again. You instinctively clutched the box in your hand out of worry.

Poking your head around the corner as to not reveal yourself fully to whatever danger may be present, you frowned.

Rubbing your eyes with your hand whilst the other loosened it's grib on the box you suppressed a groan.

"this world tests me everyday." You grumbled.

You walked into Aaron's apartment as he looked at you in shock and over exaggerated horror.

"there was a predator the size of my FOOT RIGHT THERE! " Aaron yelled after you.

"really? Is it going to the match?" You set the box onto the kitchen counter, opening it up, the sweet smell of donuts hit you pleasantly.

Whatever Aaron was going to say next was lost on his lips

"I love you so much" Aaron muttered as he eyed the donuts hungrily. You snorted.

"right, wanna start season 6?" You shrugged your coat off and left it on the back of the nearest chair, making yourself comfortable on the couch as you carefully held your donut whilst you moved. Aaron hated crumbs on the coach.

"You bet! Were going to finish season 6 Today! I'm tired of constantly dodging spoilers." Aaron joined you on the couch.

You doubted you would get through the entire season in a day, you were working at 8 o'clock tomorrow, you couldn't be up the entire night.

You tried your best to avoid spoilers but you had heard season 6 was when the show starts to dip. So far, you didn't agree. Every so often Aaron would impersonate a character (very loudly) you hoped the neighbors couldn't hear, he wasn't exactly quoting nice things.

When episode 6 finished you felt your eyes slowly begin to droop, the busy morning you had was beginning to catch up on you. Stretching your legs out you stiffly got up from your seat on the couch, you had been sitting in it for hours straight.

The yawn that escaped your lips caught Aarons attention.

"Oh No no! We're getting through the rest of the season! You can't fall asleep now!" It was like he could read your thoughts, he was quick to dismiss whatever excuse you could throw at him.

"I have work tomorrow!" You whined.

Aaron weighed your words in his mind for a few short seconds.

"one more episode?" Aaron negotiated.

You knew you should be getting to your own home now, but you had to admit the show was good and spending this much time with Aaron was rare when you both worked. Rolling your eyes you give him a small nod before turning around to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Faintly you could hear his cheers.

Opening the cupboard as episode seven played you pulled out your favourite mug, setting it on the counter you took out the hot chocolate powder and warmed up the milk, every so often looking up at the tv.

Leaning against the counter you sipped at your hot drink as you watch the tv. Your eyes moved over to Aaron, you laughed quietly to yourself as he sat completely still with eyes wide and focused on the show his mouth was slightly agape.

Setting your mug down you debated which donut looked better, there was two left; one chocolate covered with chocolate sprinkles, the other had white icing and red velvet crumbs sprinkled on top. You decided on the chocolate one.

"welcome to bear island."

Your reached for a napkin as you listened to the tv.

Turning you watched as Sansa talked, Sansa was always your favorite after Arya.

"I remember when you were born my lady. You were named for my aunt Lyanna. It was said she was a great beauty I'm sure you will be too."

"I doubt it. my mother wasn't a great beauty or any other kind of beauty. She was a great warrior though. She died fighting for your brother Robb."

"I fucking love her oh my days!" Aaron laughed as he watched Sansa and Jon share a shocked look. Noticing the silence of his friend Aaron turned to look to you. Grinning at your shocked face.

"what? Weren't expecting one of your faves to be grilled by a child?" Aaron teased.

His words didn't register in your mind, infact you hadn't heard them, not his voice or the voices of the characters on screen. Now it was you who was standing still watching the tv like a hawke with a slightly opened mouth.

That character on screen was too familiar. The face of the stranger you had sat beside on the bus flashed in your mind. But they were older looking and they're hair was shorter. You closed your mouth and stood straigher once you came back to reality. Your brows furrowed. They looked so much alike.

"who's that?" You kept your eyes on the screen with your finger pointed.

Aaron obviously knowing you were talking about the unfamiliar character on screen, was quick to answer.

Clearing his throat dramatically as he placed a hand on his chest.

"that is the Lady Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island. If you were paying attention you would-"

"not the character the actor! Who plays her?"

Aaron shrugged his soldiers.

"why is that so important all of a sudden."

"I'm pretty sure I sat beside them on the bus on the way to work this morning." You said flatly. There was no point beating around the bush.

Aaron stared at you in silence for a moment.

"I see." Came his calm reply as he turned his focus back to game of thrones.

"I just told you I sat beside one of the actor from your current favorite show, and all you say Is 'I see' ?"

You were confused. You thought Aaron would be running around the apartment in joy.

"you didn't meet them. You thought you did, but you didn't."

You scoffed. Pulling out your phone from your back pocket you opened up Google.

'who plays Lyanna Mormont in game of thrones?'

"Bella Ramsey?" You muttered the name, more to yourself.

You went out of Google and typed in the name into Instagram. Clicking on the first account that popped up you didn't have to scroll for long.

The minute you seen their most recent post, it clicked in your head. Seeing the recent photo of them at the met gala rather than an old one from when they were on game of thrones confirmed your thoughts.

"I fucking met Bella fucking Ramsey on the bus without fucking knowing and embarrassed the shit out of myself."

You didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

You met Aarons wide-eyed gaze.

"fuck my life!"

--

When you arrived home you had told yourself you would forget this whole situation and go straight to bed.

That night you got the worst sleep of your life. You estimated you got a total of an hours sleep.

Eventually you gave up and decided you might as well get an early start to the day. Getting ready for work didn't take that long and since you woke up early you would have plenty of time to walk to work today.

You had to admit it was nice walking in the early morning. The number of cars that drove passed you weren't particular high, just the odd person on their way to work much like yourself.

Listening to music helped the walk go quicker, you soon arrived at work.

No matter how early you thought you were, Emma always proved to get to the café before you. Sometimes you thought she had slept the night.

Emma has been working at the café longer than you have. She was a favourite amongst customers with her enthusiastic personality and caring nature. She was impossible not to love. Sometimes you couldn't help but think what was a girl like her was doing working at this café. A face like hers deserved to be on billboards. You were certain she must've had over a dozen boys waiting outside her door every day.

"Morning!" She greeted you in her cheery voice.

You smiled at her, "mornin" you greeted her back.

As you made your way out back you silently prayed the day would go by quick and without fuss. You knew the lack of sleep would catch up on you sooner or later if you didn't make yourself a coffee.

--

"have a good day" you smiled as you handed a regular, an elderly man by the name of Tom and his wife Maria, their tea and scones.

"we will. And make sure not to tire yourself out deary." Maria warned, you knew it was coming from a good place.

"come now my love. I'm sure she doesn't need us distracting her from her work." Tom playfully rolled his eyes at you. maria if she could would talk to you, or anyone for that matter, for hours. No exaggeration.

"hey there's a customer waiting outside, I would do it but there's a woman who's about to beat that shit out of me if I don't drop everything to tend to her immediately." Emma groaned, tucking a piece of her auburn hair behind her ear. You looked back to the woman with matching red hair that stared at Emma inpatiently.

You cringed. "Say hello to your mum for me." You whispered as you gave her arm a comforting squeeze.

Making your way outside to the only person seated you took out your small notepad and pen, ready to take their order.

You couldn't see their face as they sat with their back towards you, a black cap on their head and a blue, red and yellow flannel. Their head was dipped, you guessed they were on the their phone.

You cleared your throat as you stood Infront of their table. They looked up at the sudden disruption.

When bella recognized your face they broke out in a grin.

When you recognized Bella's face you stared in surprise. You certainly weren't expecting this. For bella to show up when you were working, though you did tell them (a stranger) that you worked here. That didn't mean you thought they would actually show up.

They're probably just here by coincidence. It doesn't mean anything.

"I did say I would have to visit, did I not?" Bella was the first to speak.

"yeah um, its just it's still a shock." You mumbled.

"sorry I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Actually thinking about it, this probably seems really weird to you-"

"it's not weird it's just a bit awkward I mean-"

"definitely a bit awkward I understand. I just enjoyed talking to you-"

"I enjoyed talking to you too."

Bella went to say something but stopped once your words fully registered in her head. she smiled.

"so is there anything I can get you? Or did you only want to talk?" You teased her lightly.

The smallest hint of red appeared on her cheeks.

"just the tomato soup please."

You scribbled the order down and promised them it would be ready soon.

"I'm Bella by the way" bella stopped you before you could go back inside.

"I'm y/n"

"nice to meet you, y/n."

--

Barely 10 minutes had passed and the shock had yet to wear off. The cafe has become busier so to your dismay you didn't see bella since you took their order, Emma had brought out their soup.

You went from table to table scribbling down orders and bringing them to the kitchen. Thankfully you had a decent amount of energy in you despite only running on one hour of sleep.

Exiting the kitchen you began cleaning the bar. Oddly you found this to be sort of nice. There was only one or two people seated on the stools as many only came for the alcohol which wouldn't commonly be ordered in the afternoon. One man in particular recalled a childhood story loudly to the younger man beside him.

"sorry, a customer wanted to give this to you. I asked for their name, they said you would know who it would be from. " Melanie, another waitress tapped you on the arm. You looked down at their outstretched hand, a small folded piece of paper.

You frowned but thanked Melanie for bringing it to you as you took the note from her.

You were quick to open it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Something came up, but I really would like to get to know you more.

000-000-000

-bella

-----------------------------------------------------------

Part one⬇️

Part three⬇️

[heretherebedork]

I am very interested in what BMF was saying today about asexuality versus insecurity about sex versus sex in a relationship.

We saw Kawi say he would be more than happy to simply hold hands in bed forever. We saw Max say that he has sex before he ever starts dating anyone. We saw Piseang's desire but also willingness to follow Kawi's lead.

Three different approaches to the idea of sexuality and sex in a relationship and none are right and none are wrong but we did end with the implication that Kawi agreed to sex with Piseang as something new after a day or rejecting new ideas and no discussion about his own thoughts on sex.

So... is this asexual erasure? Is the idea of this episode that Kawi was avoiding sex out of fear rather than a lack of desire?

There is no evidence either way for that. Because there is no singular way to be ace. Kawi doesn't have to be sex repulsed to be ace. Heck, he doesn't have to be ace. He might be demi and only discovering what sexual desire is because he's finally found that part of himself with Piseang.

It was interesting to have the entire conversation with Max revolve around sex and sexual desire and not include asexuality but I also understand it because this is a discussion a lot of BLs over the years have stayed away from entirely (see the blushing maiden trope via @absolutebl because it is a DOOZY, honestly) so is this about asexuality or is this about the idea that for certain people society has said that desire is wrong?

What kind of societal commentary are we exploring with Kawi's reluctance? IS this about asexuality or a fear of sexuality? Is this about how he doesn't want to have sex or about how his reluctance is shaped by society in a way he doesn't even see? Is this commentary on older BLs and their lack of examination of this reluctance?

There are so many facets to what this could be and could mean and I feel like we ending with Kawi agreeing to trying to try sex with Piseang is a very interesting choice that I both understand and am a bit reluctant about. Because what is this about? Kawi's reluctance because he's uninterested or because he's afraid in a way he can't articulate? Is the rollercoaster representing something new or something scary or something that he knows he doesn't like but can't fully articulate?

[originalleftist]

For some happier news, today has been a truly glorious day to be a Star Trek Fan (spoilers)!

First, we have the long-awaited trailer for the final season of Lower Decks, along with a premier date of October 24th!

More Jennifer? Yay!

Jennifer and Mariner having adventures together! YAY!

Ma'ah and an Enterprise decontamination chamber gag? Predictable, but fun!

Moopsy cameo!

Alternate universe episode?

This looks so fun!

And repeated hints that this isn't the end for these characters' stories- I really hope they're not just teasing us here!

Then, there's the trailer for Section 31:

I'll admit, this one doesn't look like quite as much my thing, superficially "darker and edgier" than I like my Star Trek, but paired with a rather MCU-style comedic tone which... can work, but is a tough balancing act to pull off.

That said, Michelle Yeoh is an acclaimed actor- in fact, unless I'm mistaken, this will be the first time a Star Trek project is starring an Academy Award winner! Also, I appreciate that the franchise is branching out and exploring new tones, new premises, and new settings within the Star Trek universe. And speaking of which...

The first-ever live-action Star Trek comedy has been announced.

It will be co-written by Justin Simien and Lower Decks star Tawny Newsome (who is also a writer on the upcoming Starfleet Academy series), along with Kurtzman. Notably, it will NOT be set on a Starfleet ship or station or following a Starfleet crew, but "will follow a cast of Federation outsiders, serving customers on a resort world, who discover that their daily exploits are actually being recorded and broadcast to the entire quadrant."

This might sound like a strange departure to a lot of people, and I'm sure Starfleet will get involved as the show progresses, but honestly I'm kind of thrilled by this. Its exploring parts of the Star Trek universe we haven't seen before (the time period will also make it likely our first real look at the post-Picard era), the resort premise fits well for a comedic/sit-com type show, the secret broadcast gives it a suitable sci-fi twist with potential for social commentary, and the premise will also be well-suited to lots of guest appearances by other Trek characters.

Given the comedic tone, time period, and Newsome's involvement, I think appearances by Lower Decks characters are very likely, and if so this may be the closest thing to a follow up to Lower Decks that we get, at least in the short term.

And all of that is more than enough to be thrilled by, but there's at least one more new project to look forward to, and that's the limited time crossover event between the Lower Decks and Doctor Who mobile games!

Seeing Mariner and the Doctor in the same shot fulfills a need I didn't know I had. And makes me REALLY wish Tawny Newsome could guest star on Doctor Who.

So, there you have it. I honestly don't know what more to say except that any doubts I might have had about the future of Star Trek, or Paramount's commitment to continuing the franchise, are resolved. I still want a Legacy series with Jeri Ryan as Captain Seven, but honestly it's hard to think of a better time to be a Star Trek fan, certainly since the 90s.

Star Trek is boldly going where it has not gone before!

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 1 [In Throes of Increasing Wonder...] - part 2/2

- [Louis] "It bears repeating, I did not consider myself a homosexual man at the time" - yeah that was the repression talking. "I ended up embracing my sexuality" - oh did you? That why people still write you as an altar boy?

- [Daniel] "We're not here for me" - not yet, Danny, not yet... Your turn will come.

- [Louis] "I had never let myself to feel emotionally close to anyone, much less a man" - okay, this boy needs a thousand hugs. Who's volunteering? Never mind, outta my way, I'm volunteering.

- [Louis] "You could be a lot of things in New Orleans, but an openly gay Negro man was not one of them" - sadly I'm pretty sure the rule still applies in many parts of the world today. Oh, hey, another social commentary! Love those.

- [Louis] "I vowed never to return again. I shut that night out of my mind and turned my attentions back to life as it was before" - sure Jan. Meanwhile Lestat is premiering the yellow dressing gown of wallowing and depression.

- Aaaand it's been a month. Grace's wedding. She's so pretty. "Altar Boys Come Dancing Everyday For God" - excuse me while I go dying of laughter. But also, hey, y'all ready for Louis to lose all of his societal markers and all of his culture? That's gonna hurt. Another reason why making Louis Black is the best choice ever. There's culture here, there's community, and Louis' about to be cut off from all of that, the music, the dancing, the traditions and rituals. But also, if we consider book canon, the Creole community of NOLA and its ties with voodoo are going to come into focus later on. I don't think Rolin Jones will adapt Merrick, but still, it's there and it makes what happens in Merrick to Louis even more intense when you picture Creole Louis instead of white Louis.

- [Paul] "I think you should get married next" - what did I say about provoking the universe? One way or another everything gets manifested.

- [Paul] "'You think Levi loves her enough? You know, Grace needs a lot of love.' [Louis] 'I do.' [Paul] 'Do you think he's givin' her everything he's got inside of him?' [Louis] 'Mm-mh.'"

This. This little exchange is very, very crucial. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs a lot of love. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs their partner to give them everything they have. Now consider Lestat: does he love Louis? At this point he loves an idea of Louis, an ideal. Will he come to actually love the true Louis? Yes. Will it be enough? Definitely no. Why? Because he didn't give Louis everything, and that's what Louis needed. Now the other problem, because there is another problem, because the fault definitely does not lie only in Lestat, is that Louis cut himself off from loving, by his own words. Louis doesn't allow himself to love, and thus, doesn't allow himself to be loved. And Lestat, Lestat similarly does not open himself up entirely, therefore does not love truly. *big sigh* Gonna take a good century and more, but we'll get there.

- The shots of Louis and Paul on the roof at sunrise are gorgeous. Light's absolutely gorgeous. Don't know if it was shot on location or in studio, but that whole scene is bathed in warm lights, ethereal light, it's truly gorgeous.

- "'I love you Louis.' 'And I love you too, baby brother'" - exit Paul, pursued by his birdies. Others have written about it better than I (need to find that post), but that's the last thing that Paul says to his brother. Those are the last words Louis says to his most favourite person in the whole wide world. Understandably, that messes him up and he locks the words away deep deep down, buried where they can't hurt anyone else, because in Louis' grief and guilt, it's the words that pushed Paul to jump. Better not to say them and risk the ones he loves. Except you can't live your life and love people locking away the love. You need to get the words out to truly give them power. And that's Louis' downfall after all. He gave some words too much power that didn't need it, shouldn't have that power, and he took the power from some words that should never have lost it.

- [Louis] "That was the last sunrise I ever saw. Perhaps the kindest thing the dark gift has given me. I don't miss the sun, the reminders it carries." - yeah understandable. Do seek out some therapy tho.

- I appreciate how Daniel closes his laptop and follows Louis on the balcony. It shows the depths of his compassion, or even, empathy.

- Oh, hey, social commentary on the world of the 2020s, now. This show keeps on giving. [Louis] "This virus, it turned the world sideways" - yeah, well, perhaps not enough, 'cause look at us four years after/into the pandemic, not a lot has changed, has it? I think it needs a few more turns of the screw.

- [Daniel] "'I get it. I' m gonna die. They're gonna die. But not the vampire.' [Louis] 'The vampire is bored. The human was destroyed.'" - okay Louis you have got to stop hanging out only with Armand, it's not doing good for your psyche.

I love how vampirism corrects the physical aspects (within limits), repairs the broken and bleeding, but can do nothing against the mental illness. Born as a mortal with depression and anxiety? Too bad, that goes on as a vampire, and bad news everyone, now you can't even properly kill yourself! Enjoy an eternity with the parasite in your brain.

- [Mama du Lac] "You must have said something to him, Louis, to make him do that to himself." - we have a contender for Mother of the Year here, guys. Pretty sure she can compete against Gabrielle. The violence of the mother telling her oldest son he's at fault for the youngest's suicide. And now "Paul's in Hell because of you" GREAT GEE THANKS MAMA. I'm gonna go take a swim in the Mississippi.

- [Louis] "Lestat's ambush had disoriented me." - yeah, you have a stalker, baby boy. And depression. And a mother who hates you. And a dead brother. And the weight of being a Black gay man in 1910 New Orleans. That's. That's a looooooot. Oh, and your only friend Miss Lily got Lucy-ed. Babe you need a break and the story hasn't even properly started, lmao.

- "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Grievously sinned. I'm a drunk, Lord. I'm a liar. I am a thief, Lord. I profit off the miseries of other men, and I do it easy. Drugs, liquor, women. I-I-I-I lure them in and grab what they got, Lord. I take daughters with no homes and I-I put 'em out on the street, Lord, and I lie to myself saying I-I'm giving them a roof and food and dollar bills in they pocket, but I look in the mirror, I know what I am - the big man in the big house, stuffing cotton in my ears so I can't hear their cries. And Lord, I dragged my family into this mess with me. I shame my father. I f- I failed my brother. I lost my mother and sister, and rather than fix it like a man should, Lord, I run like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds. I-I laid down with a man. I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me, all his spindly roots in me, and I can't think nothin' anymore but his voice and his words! Please, help me! I am weak! I wanna die!"

Sorry, I needed to put the entire tirade because jesus h christ, ALL THE AWARDS FOR JACOB. The voice quivering. The staccato of the confession, the rhythm of the repetition, "Lord". The crescendo, the way the voice quickens, the way Louis is shivering and spitting out the words as if they're razor blades hurting his throat as he speaks them. This man needs all the awards, now.

And also because this. This is the heart of Louis in the first part of his story. The grief. The powerlessness. The shame. The self-hatred. The religious turmoil. The fact that it's so easy for him to do bad things.

The parallel with Lestat, Lestat who was the pourvoyeur of food for his impoverished family back in the Auvergne, Wolfkiller Lestat who took on his shoulder the responsibility of putting food on his family's table even when his family never had a kind word or gesture for him, even when his family hurt him the most.

And finally, oooh, book spoiler, the "spindly roots" of the Devil/Lestat in him, the tentacles of Amel inside each and every vampire and how Louis was the first one to get free of this influence. Oh, the writers are clever. So clever. And this speech is so brilliantly written. And delivered.

- And finally Lestat the hunter. Lestat the killer. Lestat the monster. The monster with too many emotions.

"This primitive country has picked you clean. It has shackled you in permanent exile. Every room you enter, every hat you're forced to wear - the stern landlord, the deferential businessman, the loyal son - all these roles you conform to and none of them your true nature. What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. The first time I laid eyes on you, your beautiful face, I saw that sorrow. I did not know how it got there or why it was so voluminous. I can take away that sorrow, Louis. I can give you that death you begged your feeble, blind, degenerate, nonexistent god for. But I can do it... joyfully. I can swap this life of shame, swap it out for a Dark Gift and a power you can't begin to imagine. You just have to ask me for it. You just have to nod your beautiful head... and say yes. I love you, Louis. You are loved. I send my love to you, and you send it back round to me. And this circle, this home we barely had a glimpse of... know it frightens me as much as it does you."

Oh, boy, Lords have mercy on me, a second absolutely stunning morceau de bravoure in the span of ten minutes, another epicness of writing and acting and delivering, just as many awards for Sam for heaven's sake, that was phenomenal.

And now onto the content itself. Just as with Louis, this is the heart of Lestat at that point of time, that which explains him - or could explain him, but we have to remember that those are Louis' words about Lestat's words. Louis' version of what Lestat said. But here we see, the loneliness of Lestat, his fear of being alone always. We see his one true big dream, to have a home, to belong, to be a part of something bigger than himself where he'd be seen, he'd be loved, he'd matter. The dream he achieves in the final books of the series, Prince Lestat, the dream that takes him more than two hundred years to reach. The dream he thought, felt, believed was possible alongside Louis. Except neither Lestat nor Louis were ready at this point. Because there is still so much they don't know. About themselves, about vampiric nature, about the world at large. About love and what love is, what love can be, what love should be, what love shouldn't be. Because yes, Lestat does love Louis. Fell first, as we'd say. But fell broken and twisted, didn't understand the nature of this love, didn't realize that you cannot love an ideal, an image, an icon, that you must love a real being with all their flaws and complexities and paradoxes.

And another thing is how at the start, Louis is hang up on his religious upbringing and its trauma, while Lestat rejected it all, or claims that he did. And then the steam inverses, and in the late 20th century (if we go by book canon), Louis's full on atheist and doesn't care anymore about religion (written black on white in the books), while Lestat is going through crisis of faith after crisis of faith (Akasha, the body thief, Memnoch...). They're not traveling the same Devil's road, and their roads are not joining together, not yet, not for a very long time, and all their efforts to make their separate roads one singular one will harm them more than if they hadn't done anything.

part 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[dandelionjack]

so. realised that when i was watching s7 way back in december i completely skipped over dinosaurs on a spaceship because i thought the title sounded too kiddy, was tired of the ponds, and wanted to meet clara already (sacrilege, i know. whatever). so today i was like hold up wait a minute that’s the last remaining episode of nuwho i’ve never seen. can’t be too terrrible even if it’s written youknowwho

why was it… good?? lol. surprise is not the word

early 20th c. pulp novel vibes in the best way possible. they really just tossed all of the ‘look how cool this must be when you’re 7 years old’ buzzwords into a hat (ancient egypt! dinosaurs! spaceships! bounty hunters! actual hunters! indiana jones!) and somehow made it work…

and not even in a ‘mindless fun’ way as you’d expect from something with this subject matter. instead it becomes a successful, surprisingly mature piece of commentary on the interconnected nature of imperialism, capitalism, colonialism, cultural theft and appropriation, genocide and misogynistic objectification?? and that’s not even touching the parallels between the ‘rusty robots’ that ‘aren’t as nimble as they used to be’ getting mirrored with the ponds; the entire mini-arc of brian stepping out of his comfort zone; and 11’s dark vengeful streak that shows itself at the end. apologies mr. chibnall i was unfamiliar with your game

there’s even a sneaky hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy reference. what’s not to love. incredibly unexpected 4 stars on tardisguide from me. that’s my “jamie catches up” (hey, when that tag began, i was still jamie) all over with