#that's it for the small update i swear more art soon a lot has been happening lately so yk its kinda hard to find time to finish things

[fraternum-momentum]

apartment hunting lead me to a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck 🙏😭

[macawritesupdates]

Fic Writing Updates 11/10

Been super duper busy of late as I have a second job in the evening cutting into writing time and also having to get some art done for zines. Just been a balancing act ; w ;

However! Working on fics to get them updated so don't worry, the updates are coming I swear! <3

The goal this month is to get a lot of these long fics wrapped up so I have less stories to update on my plate which should equal faster updates!

JUJUTSU KAISEN LONGFIC UPDATES

The Yuuji Files: About 9k words into this chapter and just about to reach the halfway point so...it is a very large chapter, but feels short writing it honestly given how the action is flowing! Hopefully readers will enjoy!

Broken in the Ways No One Sees: Last chapter should come out today! That's the plan at least! I want to get this chapter out so the story can be brought to its conclusion <3 Spouse Wanted: Hoping to write and post an update today for this one if I can. Chapter is almost done, just have to write the final scene

Can't Help a Cuddle: Sorting out the notes and starting to work on it! A lot of suggestions to organize and work into a chapter so it has been slow going, but hopefully will satisfy readers <3 Lessons in Accidental Seduction: New chapter is in the works, slowly but surely!

Malevolence of Love: Taking a small break to sort out notes for the next chapter as the angst is heading for a conclusion now...

Who's A Good Boy: Once Broken is done, going to speed run the chapters of this story to get it completed. Think it is an easier one to clear out then some of these!

Careful What you Joke About: Working on next chapter slowly but surely, just making sure it flows how I like, but still on the docket for an update soon When You Have Two Grandsons: This is a comfort fic so it gets updated when I get inspired and needing something to write/relax from other fics. No new chapter just yet....

Mirrored Lives: Plan is to get this one finished out in terms of the rewrite to the outline and then push it out to get it concluded so it stops hanging over me :C

MY HERO ACADAMIA FIC UPDATES

Jealousy is Not a Good Friend: My other comfort fic. Especially as the readers are calling for us to be mean to Kirishima and break his feelings into tiny pieces...and you KNOW I'm here for angst.

Unsung Heroes: Working on it when I can, just really want to update it > . < but also want to take my time with it >.<

ONE -SHOTS

KiriOchaToga Oneshot: Because I want to write it and you can't stop me.

Once Upon a Blob: Because I want some Blobkuna....

FICS TO COME

Changing this fics that I'm actively working on writing as...too many ideas rattling around that I want to write >.< So these are fics that are on the docket to come and going to actually write. COLLAB FIC: Still working on this fic and excited to eventually share it with readers <3

Culturally Inappropriate: The first chapter is being prepared and I'm going to launch it once I finish some of the other long fics so can devote a lot more time to it! I want to do some art for it...but will make a poll of readers want to see that!

[lowstakesvampires]

The Sketchbooks

Just some info for you all, so my tagging system makes a little more sense.

This is a comic that has been almost entirely drawn in whichever sketchbook that I had on hand at the time, sort of unintentionally at first, so of course it'll be a little bit more unorthodox in its... pretty much everything, sure. It's not even drawn in any linear fashion. It's an accidental sketchbook webcomic, going with the flow.

Without further ado,

01: small beginnings April 2017 - June 2017 This sure was where everything started!! Weirdly accurate, too. I swear it wasn't intentional.

This wasn't even a proper sketchbook, it was more of a notepad, and as of last time I went through it, it was falling apart due to the glue literally not holding it together anymore. But yeah - Morten shows up for the first time in this. Bat followed soon after.

02: the pink one June 2017 - April 2018 A lot of firsts in this one - the beginnings of Einarr, Helena and Rune, for example.

And yeah, it came with printed flower and butterfly graphics inside. I just grabbed whatever sketchbook I had, man. And once I had started using one, I was not going to let go until it was finished. No exceptions.

03: teddy bear April 2018- June 2018 Just three months!! Probably because it only had 50 (100) pages in it. but yeah. Speedy bear.

Einarr started becoming a character in this one, going from just being Bat's mysterious sire who died, to this strange old beardless viking who constantly chopped his hair off for some reason. I mean, he definitely still had a way to go before he became... himself?

04: linnanmäki July 2018 - October 2018 Another somewhat speedy one! Bought in Finland, incidentally.

This is also where something resembling longform comics started to form. Some rather significant early characterization happening in this one.

05: moomin October 2018 - April 2019 So just about half a year. A lot of shorter comics in this one. I really love the cover of it.

Not sure what else to say. This one feels like kind of the transitional phase of my books.

06: duct taped spine April 2019 - September 2021 OHOHOH THIS IS A THICK ONE..... This one lasted two and a half years. TWO AND A HALF YEARS. IT WAS LITERALLY FALLING APART BY THE END.

This sketchbook had way too many pages for its quality - it split apart by the time I got to the middle, the spine fell off, it has been absolutely wrecked to bits from my frequent usage and I love it.

So yeah, this one was pretty good. A lot of the longer main stories start in this one. It's also causing me issues when it's the only book here with square pages.

07: the green one September 2021 - November 2023 Two years also, though the speed was a little halted by my bad phone habits and also the way I've gotten increasingly more thorough with my art!

For sure one of my favorites, especially art-wise ♡

By the end, the spine had fallen off, but unlike the previous one, it still wasn't completely falling apart. So that's nice. Around the time it was about to finish, I also drew on its cover - it represents the one story arc that just kinda slowly ran through nearly the whole book.

08: navy blue November 2023 - now

The current one! Same brand and thickness as the previous green one. Will be interesting to see if it ends up being any faster or slower. It has had some good comics so far!

Miscellaneous sketchbooks

Random small sketchbooks, and maybe even loose paper that has been used alongside the main ones. Ironically, one of my very first comic doodles was actually not drawn in any of the aforementioned sketchbooks, it was actually in one of my irregular ones!

------

This post may get updated as time goes on.

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (10/23/23)

Take this woefully late update while I get the current one written and sorted out!

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare (8/10)

I do think this book is better than Angel, I just think I was too lenient on that one because of the nostalgia (I've now adjusted its rating to 7/10). I really like that the conflict in this book is split between Tessa, who is focused on Mortmain and the main plot, and Will, who has his whole curse thing going on and is a good window into the emotional conflicts. It makes this book feel much more...filled than Angel which lags in many places. Concerning the emotional aspects, while I love both Will and Jem and am well aware of how the series ends, it feels to me like Clare heavily favors Will. Will gets a very complicated backstory, a lot of plot dedicated just to him, and while Jem arguably has just as pressing of an issue, he's just so placid about it. He can be soft-spoken and kind and still have a desire to live.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire (10/10)

This is a reread and it still astounds me how this book manages to fit an incredible magic system, an engaging plot, and some of my favorite characters ever into less than 200 pages. The concept of this book is such a unique one, and it allows for these very complex and unusual characters whose circumstances have made them very difficult to understand. Even though not every character is likable, McGuire does an outstanding job of portraying how their situations have made them this way (except Angela fuck you Angela). Despite it technically being set in the real world, and the characters contribute to this, the whole story has a dreamy, otherworldly quality to it, as if Eleanor West's home was its own pocket dimension. And, of course, I love how much queer rep there is in this book and just general willingness to portray non-romantic or atypical romantic relationships as the most important in a character's life. Now that I've reread this one, I'll finally be continuing the series.

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon (CR, 38%)

I swear I'm enjoying this book, it's just so intimidating and I really haven't had time to really sit with a book recently. In the small bit that I've read, I like that Glorian is starting to change a little. Compared to Dumai and Tunuva in particular, she's been rather static, but I can see her starting to find her place.

Lodestar by Shannon Messenger (CR, 36%)

These books stress me out so much. Part of me is well aware that these are middle grade and we have yet to permanently 'remove' a major character, be that through betrayal, major injury, or death. (I consider a major character to be Sophie, her friends, her family, and a couple of the major adults.) However, considering the tone of the books keeps getting darker and darker, it's only a matter of time, and there's a great opportunity for it right about now. Still, any fear I have is overcome by my desire to consume fandom content for this series, so onward I push.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor (CR, 10%)

I'm not that far into this one, but I am definitely curious. Namely, how the hell is everything in this book going to be fit into less than 100 pages. This book promises a lot, and so far it's reading like the opening to a much longer space opera-style sci fi novel. We'll see!

Gwen and Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher (CR, 1%)

I've only just barely started this one but I've got to hurry it up since I'm supposed to review it soon. It's been a while since I read a romance that's just a romance, so I hope I enjoy it!

[hyuniyz]

SKZ AS BOYFRIENDS

PAIRING. stray kids!bf x female!reader

GENRE. fluff

🗒 NOTES. i am so sorry for the small post 😟 but here’s something while i finish up my exams!! also maxident is so good 😭 im getting the heart version delivered soon im so excited ‼️

bangchan ( 방찬 )

★ best boyfriend me thinks

★ very protective but never overdoes it. he just makes sure you know that he’ll be there for you in case of anything.

★ always makes sure you’ve eaten etc

★ keeps you entertained even when he’s at work because he’ll update you about everything 😭

★ “oh han’s tackling felix rn” “they’re on the floor” “felix is screaming i’m tired” yeah you get to experience the chaos first hand

★ he regularly invites you over to the studio no matter how many times you protest that you fall asleep he doesn’t budge. he just needs you with him while he finishes up on some songs.

★ doesn’t say it out loud but he thinks he can really focus on and wrap up songs but only when you’re there

lee know ( 리노 )

★ he’s everything you could ask for as a bf

★ he’ll make you laugh, make you cry out of happiness and so easily have you absolutely smitten

★ you get to experience everything with him

★ he’ll take you to dance with him very often but you guys only play around until your stomach hurts from laughing

★ focuses a lot on your interests and if it’s something new/he doesn’t know about it, he’ll do his research so you guys can talk about it together ❤️‍🩹

★ YOU BOTH GO TO CAT CAFÉS TOGETHER !! i can’t stress this enough

changbin ( 창빈 )

★ he loves spending quality time together!! so he’s always looking for new activities you guys could do

★ regularly takes you to his workout sessions if sometimes you just sit and do nothing

★ he believes in his haste to impress you he completes the workout quicker 😭

★ always asks for your opinion on their songs! he does it mainly because he knows you only have positive feedback so it boosts his ego. but he also does it because he loves how excited you get while complimenting all components of the song.

★ he’s mainly big on pda and has a hand on you at all times wether at your shoulder,back, waist or your thigh.

★ he really adores just how small you are compared to him, so while cuddling he’ll sometimes cover your entire body with his, or he’ll marvel at the fact that your entire hand can completely be encased by his much larger one.

★ smothers you at every chance he gets 😟 does not care for his image he will snuggle into you when he’s tired don’t doubt him

hyunjin ( 현진 )

★ your perfect art boyfriend

★ i feel like he’d mainly show his love for you through handmade gifts like paintings etc

★ invites you with him while he finishes on a painting so he can enjoy the way you compliment his talent –he’s a sucker for compliments

★ HAS SO MANY PICTURES OF YOU

★ he loves when he’s scrolling through his camera roll and all of a sudden he sees a picture of you

★ all the memories come back 🥹

★ swears up and down his favourite and most happiest memories are with you <33

han ( 한 )

★ your no.1 source of entertainment

★ it’s never a dull moment with him tbh 😭

★ especially if you manage to match his energy he’ll be even more hyped up!

★ ruins his image just to get a smile from you <3 very dedicated

★ he’ll have his soft, calm bf moments too though

★ he’ll be there to hold you if it has been a particularly tiring day

★ basically like a warm blanket

★ enjoys the rare serene moments he gets to spend w you 🫶🏻

★ adores you truly and doesn’t bother to deny it even if the members tease him like hell

★ “aww!! our han’s in love :D!!,” “chan hyung, i will yeet your laptop,”

felix ( 용복 )

★ sunshine

★ felix would ruin other men for you

★ like after him you’re standards are way too high

★ he’s just so endearing

★ loves spending time with you

★ HE LOVES WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM 😭

★ blushes so quickly

★ like it’ll just be a normal “you smell nice today babe”

★ and suddenly felix is a red tomato while he rambles about how he ‘picked that perfume because he thought you would like it’

★ your emotional support system 🫶🏻

seungmin ( 승민 )

★ very attentive as a boyfriend

★ like he remembers even the smallest detail you mentioned casually

★ it’s so endearing when you’re talking about something and then all of a sudden he goes “oh yeah i remember, you told me already,” 🥹??? it’s not only me right

★ he’s very good at knowing how you feel

★ like if you’re in a position where you can’t voice out how uncomfortable you are, one look at your face will tell you and he’s already pulling you away

★ very much acts like a mother

★ wipes your face after you’re done eating, fixes your hair, kneels down to fix your untied laces

★ YOU GET ALL THE SMILES!! like whenever he’s with you he can’t control how big he smiles or how loud he laughs

★ loves you very much ofc

jeongin ( 아이엔 )

★ you guys are the best dressed couple !!

★ he makes sure you’re always matching somehow

★ he’s a really sweet bf

★ does all the typical relationship stuff

★ will buy you flowers randomly, brings you coffee/your favourite snack whenever he sees you

★ thinks about you a lot!! that’s why you’ll sometimes get random “i love you” or i miss yous during the day <3

★ GIGGLES RANDOMLY ???

★ like for no reason, he’s lying down beside you snuggled in your chest and just randomly starts.. giggling and blushing 😦⁉️

★ babygirlism in his veins it’s true 😔

⠀© hyuniyz | fav && follow

[cherrykindness]

wild tweets |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: as newlyweds, you and harry read thirsty comments for buzzfeed.

warning: it's thirsty tweets, so below there is adult humor 😳

"It's a bright, sunny morning in Los Angeles, and there's nothing I want more than to be on BuzzFeed and read wild tweets alongside my husband."

"Thirsty tweets, babe." Harry corrected, laughing out loud with the producers behind the cameras.

"Thirsty Tweets." You said quickly, putting your hand over your mouth to stifle a giggle. "I'm terrible at that, I'm sorry. Can we start over?"

"Let's take a break for one to two minutes. You've given us a great introduction, Y/N."

You shook your head, smiling shyly before turning to Harry, who was already watching you with that easy smile at the corner of his lips. You liked how his hand remained firmly on yours, making those circular movements with the thumb that always served as a natural medice for your anxiety.

"You look so fucking beautiful."

The pleated dress with flounce sleeves fit you like a glove. You had made peace with the various shades of white since the wedding and knew that Harry liked to see you in that color too.

"Thank you, you're not too bad either, Styles."

You intimately suspected that Harry would always seem far beyond that "not bad" that came out as a euphemism from your mouth. He wore nothing but a pair of bell-bottom pants in a strong shade of blue and a soft vest printed with fluffy little sheep on a striped American collared shirt - in your opinion, no one could look better in farm animal clothing than Harry Styles and Princess Diana with her red "Black Sheep" sweater in the 1980s. In contrast, you knew your husband well enough to know that he was arrogant and knew exactly how hot he looked - you also made your thoughts clear enough when you kept him backstage beyond ten minutes in a rather heated kissing session.

"Are you anxious?" you asked curiously, remaining with downcast eyes fixed on the strokes that remained assiduous on your warm skin. "To read about how the whole internet dreams of fucking my wife?! Of course." Harry joked, leaning over to leave a small one on your cheek. "We agree on that, don't we? Although I'm a little nervous, I'm really interested to know all the crazy things they say about you. Everyone knows you're mine at the end of the day, that's enough."

At the end of the break, you and Harry made a silent agreement that you should be the first to pick up one of the scattered papers in the red pot. There were quite a significant amount of tweets, and as much as you were used to reading rather sordid things about your husband on the Internet, the excitement was there as if you were wading into uncharted territory.

"I would be a good girl all year round if Santa guaranteed me a threesome with Harry and Y/N Styles on Christmas Eve." You laughed, Harry staring at the camera with an expression close to the meme of the surprised Pikachu. "You guys are incredibly nasty, I love it."

"If that was the first one, I'm really worried about the next ones." Harry commented with a little corner smile, picking the next tweet out of the bucket. "I have an entire folder on Pinterest dedicated to Harry Styles' hands, and let me tell you why: those hands are art, and art needs to be recognized."

"What- Guys, you promised you wouldn't post my anonymous tweets here." You quipped with false reproach, laughing at your own stupid joke while everyone else in the studio did the same. "But I can't blame her, honestly." Shaking your shoulders, you opened another piece of paper. "Harry Styles finally confessed that he wrote Watermelon Sugar for Y/N!!!! Are you guys imagining the same thing as me?!!!!!! 🥵🍆💦"

"Exhausted emoji, eggplant emoji, and water emoji?" Harry frowned, staring at the tweet you held up. "I imagine you're in need of a vacation somewhere refreshing and you're craving a fruit that everyone eats like it's really a vegetable."

"That reminded me of that story-" You laughed, hiding your face on the table as Harry continued to offer a poker face to the camera, struggling not to keep up with you laughter. "I'm sorry, lovie, I have to share this with the rest of the world." You stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of your eyes. "Harry always wears those fancy suits to concerts, right?! Right! Turns out he looks really hot in some, like his ass molds perfectly into those tight pants and everything. I was home that night because I wasn't feeling well enough to face the big crowds, but I was still following everything on twitter. It was a concert in London, not so far from where we lived at the time, so it was obvious that he would come home after it was over. I follow some portals that do really fast updates of pictures, videos, etc; everything that happened at Harry's concert was on my timeline in a matter of seconds. When one of these profiles uploaded a picture of him with his back to the camera in a heavily accentuated black and white suit, I quickly sent him the image along with a peach emoji and then wrote "looks good tonight". He didn't reply to me until a few hours later, of course, but I obviously didn't expect a "ready for a Fifth Avenue peach salad for dinner?" and numerous cutlery emojis."

Harry rolled his eyes comically, indulging in laughter as did everyone else who occupied the backstage area.

"I'm against the eroticization of emojis." He said between uncompensated breaths, shaking his head negatively. "Let's go to the next ones, please, I'm already feeling exposed enough here."

"I like your old-fashioned spirit, baby." You assured him with a smile, laying on the sturdy shoulder hidden under the fluffy fabric.

Harry chuckled low, leaving a little kiss on the top of your head before selecting the next paper. The fans would die when that video aired, everyone was sure. You two easily forgot the cameras when you were side by side, and the public display of affection had never been a problem.

"My life mission is to look at someone the way Harry looks at Y/N and be reciprocated the way Y/N looks at Harry, then I could die happy." Harry read. "That was very good and healthy, thank you!" He smiled. "But don't settle for death in that case, please. Just make sure to keep that person around forever."

"Awn, we got so sweet now." You made a pout. "Thank you for sending us something so cute! I really hope you find the right person soon." Sending a kiss to the camera, you moved on to the next tweet. "I wouldn't want to get a golden ticket to visit Willy Wonka's factory, I would like to get a golden ticket to actively participate in Y/N and Harry Styles' Honeymoon.

"That was creative, so I will disregard the fact that you removed my last name from my wife's name." Harry joked.

"I will always be an Y/L/N." You flashed the tongue. "We had a great Honeymoon, but I know you guys already know all about it because there are pictures all over the internet of outings that I don't even remember existed."

"Even though we chose a rather reserved city, many paparazzi still managed to photograph some of our nights there." Harry agreed. "There was one particular day when we opted to have dinner at a restaurant near the beach. Y/N had found it even before the trip, it was pretty laid back and we could spend the evening at karaoke. I don't really remember what happened, but we woke up the next day with a terrible hangover, still wearing the clothes from the dinner and with several headlines saying that I was cheating on my wife in the middle of our Honeymoon with a blue-haired italian girl."

"That wig made me sexy, man." You blinked, laughing as you remembered the situation. "It's a shame the paparazzi only got low quality images, but I swear I looked really amazing that night. Italy, I miss you."

"We're coming to the end and I haven't had to ask production for a glass of water yet, thank you to whoever selected these tweets." Harry raised his thumb to the camera, smiling before turning his gaze back to the small paper he had chosen. "Y/N could literally punch me in the face and I would just bow down and thank them for it." He laughed. "She has heavy hands, so I would rethink that choice."

"It takes strong hands to be a superheroine." You blinked gracefully, referring to your works as a Marvel actress. "I move around a lot during the night, so I'll take this lovely opportunity to say that twitter can dismiss all the malicious theories about Harry always show up with a new bruise all over his body."

"Please stop making indecent assumptions while Y/N is aggressive with me at night only unconsciously, her father has access to social media."

You laughed, clearing your throat before reading the next obscenity aloud.

"I would sell all my possessions to have Y/N sitting on my lap for ten seconds."

"Oh my God." Harry laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I should have said that in our wedding vows."

You shook your head, laughing low as you set the tweet aside.

"That was pretty funny and cheeky, I approve."

"Okay, looks like we finally got to the last one." Harry announced, waving the paper in the air dramatically before opening it. "Harry could literally crush me with those boots while fuc- I need that glass of water." He said dumbfounded, hiding his face between his hands after throwing the tweet over his shoulder. You laughed out loud next to the organizers, and meanwhile Harry leaned his head on your bust, staring at you still with wide eyes. "Please promise that we will be careful with our future children on the internet."

[smoochkooks]

—chapter two: of peonies and broken promises

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.4k words

summary: you are twenty-four, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous, just like it did eleven years ago.

previous || next 

Jungkook's apartment is an epitome of him.

Wherever you look, you spot a piece of him. A single, wooden shelf in the living room where he placed all his analog cameras, because he loves photography. The replica of Van Gogh's Starry night hanging just above the navy blue couch, because he loves art. White walls of his bedroom decorated with movie posters; among them the newest addition to the collection: French Parasite poster you remember him buying recently. He traded stupid amount of money for it and you'd scold him for doing so if you didn’t know how much he enjoys cinematography.

Staring at this back as he makes coffee, you almost forget why you came her in first place. It's trivial: the latest software update on your laptop made it work more sluggish for some unknown to you reason. Jungkook has always been good with technology (hence his degree in digital art), helping you fix things on your laptop whenever the issue isn’t too complicated for him to deal with it on his own.

You feel a little embarrassed, asking him for help again (as if he wasn’t installing a new antivirus software for you a few weeks ago) but Jungkook beat you to it, assuring you it was absolutely fine before you could recite a round of apologies upon entering his apartment.  

It’s just the way he is – the kindest, most selfless person you have ever met. Helping others seems to be etched into his brain for good.

“Here you go,” he says, placing a cup coffee in front of you. “I still haven’t quite figured out how the coffee machine works so I hope it doesn’t taste like shit.”  

You smile, wrapping your fingers around the cup. Jungkook is a tea person, something he most definitely took after his mother, who has a separate cabinet in the kitchen filled with various kinds of tea. That’s why it’s so funny to you that somehow he insisted on buying a ridiculously expensive coffee machine a few months ago when he moved into his new apartment.  

You wish you could focus on the delicate scent of his blueberry tea. You wish you could let yourself be overwhelmed by the aroma of your freshly made coffee. Anything.  

Instead, all you can process is the intense, nauseous smell of the peonies standing right before you.  

They’re definitely new, wrapped up prettily and ready to be gifted to someone special. Jungkook notices your lingering gaze, and clears his throat.  

“Soojin's coming later today. They’re her favourite.”  

He didn’t need to give any explanation to you. It’s his life, his girlfriend, his plans, her favourite flowers, her perfect boyfriend. You’re just you. Yet for some unknown to you reason, he felt and urge to mention it anyway.

“I didn’t peg you for the gentleman type.” you say to break the awkward silence. It’s anything but true, so Jungkook snorts in response.

“Aish, I always give you a single red rose for your birthday, Valentine’s Day and Women's day as well! And we know each other for eighteen years!” he reasons, somewhat defensive.  

You force yourself to grin. “I know, I know. I was just fucking with you,” He huffs and takes a sip of his tea. As soon as he does that, he regrets it, muttering “Shit, it’s hot.” under his breath. “Soojin's lucky to have you.” you add.

Despite coming off as a confident person on daily basis, Jungkook gets insecure too.  

You remember vividly the look in his eyes when he told you he didn’t deserve her. It was right at the beginning of their relationship, they were still getting to know each other and Jungkook couldn’t possibly understand why out of all the boys Soojin could date, she had chosen him. A digital art major who liked talking about cinematography and ate ramen at 2am in the morning when he couldn’t sleep.  

Back then, you wished he could see himself with your eyes. For you, he was far more attractive than any guy you saw on campus. For you, he was talented, hardworking, passionate. No doubt Soojin fell for him.  

But Jungkook was twenty-one back then. He lacked self-assurance he has now. It irritated you that he viewed Soojin as some sort of goddess who took pity on him.  Although a lot has changed since, he still could quite literally kiss the ground she walks on.  

You watch as a small tingle of blush covers the apples of his cheeks. Pink, just like the peonies standing before you. Pink, just like the flowers you hate so much.  

11 years ago

June was beautiful that year. You spent most of your time after school in Jungkook's garden, seated by the wooden table and doing your homework.  

His mother besides tea, loved planting flowers. And June was the month of peonies. There was so many of them, invading your senses with their sweet yet nauseous smell.  

Jungkook was scribbling something in his notebook. You doubted it was anything Math-related, judging by the quick and harsh strokes of his pen. ‘’Do you know Sana?” he asked out of the blue, startling you.  

“That new girl from Japan? What about her?”  

“Jimin says she has a crush on me.” he answered, his eyes still glued to the paper. You noticed he was sketching some anime character's angry face.

Your eyes involuntarily widened. “How does Jimin know that?”  

“Dunno. He told me he heard some girls talking about it in cafeteria the other day.” Finally, he dropped his pen and looked up. His brows were furrowed and he had a sour look on his face. “I don’t want her to have a crush on me.”  

At that, your heart started beating faster. You were just fourteen and yet already so stupidly in love with your best friend. “Why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.  

You knew girls were checking out Jungkook here and there. He was a top athlete, had good grades and had grown at least ten centimeters taller over the year. He also had let his mother (and you) convince him to cut his hair shorter lately, getting rid of the emo fringe he was sporting for the past six months. Of course some pretty girl like Sana would have a crush on him.  

Somehow, Jungkook had always been oblivious to that, or at least you thought so. This was the first time he decided to talk to you about it.  

He sighed, looking away from you as if he was embarrassed all of a sudden. You could swear you saw his cheeks flush. “Because I don’t even like her. You’re the only girl I can stand being with.”  

Now it was your turn to blush. As best as you could, you tried to ignore the funny, giddy feeling in your chest. “You know you'll have to marry some girl one day, right?”  

“Then I’ll ask you to marry me,” Jungkook said and for the first time since he had started this conversation, he actually looked you in the eye. When he saw your shocked expression, he mumbled, “Maybe in like… ten years or something. Once we are out of college.”  

You snorted, nudging his side. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you regained your composure. “Do you think I will put up with your for that long?”  

“We know each other since we were six and you haven’t run away yet. Besides, I’m the only boy you aren’t scared to talk to.”  

“Hey! That’s–Maybe it’ll change in the future! Maybe–”

Jungkook ignored you and instead thrusted his pinky finger in your direction. You stopped speaking right away. Pinky promises held little significance yet for some reason, you felt like it was a serious situation. And if the determined look on your best friend's face was anything to go by, he thought the same.

“If we don’t find anyone worth giving our heart to by the time we are twenty-five, let’s get married. Promise?”  

You were astonished, to say the least, staring at this hand with wide eyes. You were only fourteen back then and to hear something like that from the boy you loved was like a teenage dream come true. You replied with blind devotion. Because there was only one, good answer to such question.

“Promise.”

You are twenty-four now, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous.  

[hacked-by-jake]

Jake gets infuriated when he sees mc (Natasha) is giving more time to one of her college friend (Chris)

She didn’t notice..

Summary: Not enough talk, too many misunderstandings, too fast condemnation, too much jealousy. Too much attention and too much fear. 

Pairing: Jealous!JakexMc (Natasha)

Words: 3,8k

Warnings: Just a little swearing. Jealous Jake. Slightly arrogant Jake. (Fast plot (I'm sorry))

A/n: Thank you very much for your request, I hope you will like it and that it is okay. Otherwise have a nice evening/ day/ night and take care of yourself, stay healthy.

"Yeah, you’re right, class today was really funny, chemistry went a bit wrong, but next time we’ll make it, okay?" you finish the voice memo to your classmate Chris. You just come home from college and poured yourself a glass of water in the kitchen. "Hello MC" Jake greets you while he come out from his study. "Hi babe" you also greet him while you unlock your phone again to listen to Chris' quick response. You hold the phone to your ear and giggles as he says he thought the blue liquid was different than he thought. Jake sits on one of the kitchen chairs and watches you quietly. When you take your phone off your ear, he asks you, "Who are you talking to?" “Just with Chris from my college class, we had a funny accident in chemistry today," you tell him. "Who is Chris?" he asks a little skeptical.

"He’s not from here, he moved here to go to university, his father runs a big computer technology company. I don’t know exactly what the name is, but it’s one of the greatest, really cool, right? You two would probably get along" you excitedly tell him about Chris. He nods briefly for confirmation and you frown, "I don’t think so" he speaks so softly that you can’t understand him properly. "Everything okay?" you ask carefully. "Yes, all right, I have to keep working, okay?" The question was more rhetorical than he already got up to go back to his study. You shrug your shoulders and decide to answer Chris. "Mistakes happen to the best ones," you reassure him giggling, then you complain,"I just can’t chemistry, it doesn’t go into my head. At least you chose blue, I wanted to put the green stuff on it."

The first thing you decide to do is take a little break on the sofa before you start doing your tasks. "What about learning for IT? You said you had problems with one program, I know how to do it, I can help you." Chris suggests, and you like the idea. "That would be incredibly nice of you, I really need help, I just don’t understand this stupid program," you whine. "So I can right now if you have time?" he asks and sounds a little hopeful in his audio. "Sure, today is a good, I don’t have much to do," you confirm with a smile. Chris is really good at this topic, he will be able to help you perfectly. "Okay, how about 4 p.m., in the coffee rainbow?" he suggests, and you agree, "That fits" "Good, see you later."

-

The hacker sits annoyed in front of his 4 screens and stares at the loading bar which reveals how far the update is that he needs for one of his new programs. He stares at his screen in a bad mood that it is a miracle that the screen does not start crying. He bites his jaw tightly and his hands are clenched into fists.

He had heard that you wanted to be helped by someone else. That you’re meeting someone else to get a computer program explained. His father runs an IT company? That’s why you let this Chris help you? Damn it, he’s the best hacker the world has ever seen, and he’s your boyfriend. B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D! He thinks about whether he should dare to check this Chris. But you just shouldn’t find out, otherwise you’d probably be mad at him forever. On the other hand, it’s actually his right to see who you want to meet. After all, Chris could been sent by the government, right? It’s possible they found out where he is and sent someone to arrest him. At one of his other screens, he begins the systematic search for Chris and also for the company.  He decides to take a look at the company first and then the rest. It quickly turns out that the company is a company that creates firewalls for large corporations. He laughs mockingly, he created the best firewall in the world. He’d get into the security system in a few clicks.

He have NYM-OS as a firewall.  NYM-OS is the best security program in the world. If he would sold NYM-OS and made it available to others, all other companies could close.

He would normally not react as extreme as he is now, if it weren’t for days. You’ve been talking to Chris every free second of every day. Even when he and you watch a movie together, he always notices how you consistently take a look at your phone. And as soon as you have a new message, you answer. It’s driving him crazy. And every night you get this 'good night' message, and always with two red hearts, two red hearts! Damn, he’s not a person who cares about emojis at all. He’s the ':)' type, who only uses  '<3' as a heart.

But what if that’s not enough for you? What if you want more, someone using the right emojis? That’s ridiculous, it’s just emojis. Does Chris know you have a boyfriend? Did you tell him about it? Actually, you guys tend to keep it private. Why would anyone care?

But right now, he wants you to tell the whole world. Everyone should know, even if that weren't good, even dumb. But the hacker just has the urgent need that everyone knows is at your side.  A look at the clock in the corner of his screen reveals that it is already half past three.  So in 15 minutes, you’d be going to your meeting.

He decides to wait with the search for Chris until you leave, so that he can concentrate on it. His program is finally finished, so he’s going to do this first.

-

Until you knock on the door 10 minutes later. "I’m meeting with Chris at the Kaffe Rainbow now, okay? He’s helping me out for college" you explain, and you’re smiling at Jake.  He is really so beautiful.  "Okay, which subject?" he asks you casually without turning to you.  "A tool. This doesn’t work right, but it’s important for my subject."  You don’t even seem to notice how much your words hit him, and the openness you tell him about it hurts him. Of course, it’s better than lying to him, but it still hurts him.  "All right," he grumbles and taps annoyed around his keyboard with his fingers.

"Aren’t you saying goodbye to me?" you ask unsure, wondering why he is so dismissive of you. "Of course," he answers quietly and finally turns around.  You bend down to him to give him a kiss but after a second he immediately moves away. "Take care, see you later" he sounds almost disinterested and you notice a prick in your chest. "I love you, my heart" you mumble. "Yes, I love you too, Natasha"

Wow, 'Yes, I love you too?' Yes? Why 'yes'? 'Why is he so dismissive? Did I do something wrong?' you wonder in your head. You decide to talk to him later when you get back, but now you have to go, you don’t want to keep Chris waiting.

The door falls shut and Jake moans loudly and rubs his hands through his face.This fucking jealousy is really terrible! He’s growling, the thought of you going out to meet this Chris guy makes him mad.  His heart is racing and he drops his head backwards against the back of the chair.

This is not normal.

Yeah, that sounds very dramatic. But he swore he’d always protect you and never let you go. You’re the first person he really cares about besides Hannah and Lilly. You are the first person he can imagine sharing his life with, and right now he sees this future in danger. All the attention you’ve paid to Chris over the last few days is making him nervous.

And even worse, he doesn’t know how to deal with it or what to do so that he doesn’t feel so bad about it.

He really would have a lot of means to get rid of Chris, which sounds a lot like Mafia, but that’s not what it mean. He could make a few simple clicks to get Chris to move back to the city he came from. Get him kicked off campus or something. But unfortunately, he swore to himself that he would use his arts and talent exclusively for good and important things. He could never destroy anyone’s future.

He just has to trust you, you would never lie to him or cheat on him. You wouldn’t leave him, you love him, you said it a few minutes ago. But his thoughts seem to really drive him crazy. Scenarios where you’re in the end because of Chris, spitting through his head. How he sees pictures of you on Instagram, how you spend your life with Chris. How you still keep in touch with his sisters, and all those things.

Luckily, it suddenly rings at the door and drives away these horror stories for a short moment.  He jumps up from his chair to escape from the room, which suddenly seems so narrow and small.  He hurries to the front door and with a lot of momentum he opens it. Outside, Hannah stands looking at him in surprise, "Hi," she chuckles as she sees his strange look, "Have you been drinking too much coffee or where does this energy come from? “  "Oh well, Hello Hannah" he greets his sister and makes room to let her in.  "How are you? " she asks lovingly as she closes the door again.  "Yes," he replies, as quickly as the thoughts have gone, they have now returned.  "Huh? Yeah? Jake this is not a real answer to this question" she informs him.

„Oh no, I mean, yeah, all right, and with you? " he goes straight back to his room. Hannah follows him with a skeptical look.  "Ok, something is wrong here! " she notes and folds her arms in front of her chest, waiting for an answer.  "Everything okay, Hannah, really, but what are you doing here? " he quickly distracts and lets himself sink back into the chair.  "I’m here to pick up Natasha, the whole group is meeting at the  Rainbow, where is she? " she inquires. Jake snorts bitterly,  "She forgot your meeting, but don’t worry, she’s already in the rainbow," he explains. „Wow, wow wow, okay. It’s not just 'something' wrong here, Is there a war or what? What happened? Did you have a fight?" worried, she sinks onto the small couch.  Jake have his arms crossed and looks at the ceiling, and turning around on his chair. "Ask Chris when you’re at the cafe," he murmur "he'll tell you, whats going on" "Who is Chris? " Hannah raises an eyebrow in surprise. Her brother grins mockingly,  "Someone from her college. Who really gets a lot of attention"  His sister twists her eyes,  "Now don’t let me ask everything! Just tell me what happened"

In the short version, the hacker tells his half-sister about his problem and what happened the last few days. How he feels and also reveals to her his fear of losing you.

"Watch out" begins Hannah, "Put on your shoes and a jacket and let’s go!" Motivated, Hannah jumps up. "Where?" Jake asks cluelessly.  "Well, you’re coming with me to the rainbow. We’re all meeting, and you’re now with everyone, too. And I’m your sister so you have every right to come along!" "I don’t think it’s a good idea, otherwise Natasha still thinks I’m spying on her" The brown-haired one laughs, "Yes, that’s exactly what we do, so come on," she forces him.  "Hannah I-" he tries, but she raises an index finger to silence him, "No, get dressed! Come along!" "Stop beeing so revenge funny, Natasha is your friend," he reminds his sister.  "Jake, you’re my brother, and even though she’s my friend, I don’t like the way she treats you right now. And I’m not doing anything, we’re just going to have a coffee. Besides, I have every right to be mad because she forgot about us, and I think that’s a shame"

Said and done

5 minutes later, the siblings enter the beautiful coffee. Immediately the large group is noticed, which has to push two tables together each time, so that there is enough space.  "Ah Hannah" shouts Thomas as he discovers his girlfriend.  She takes her brother by the hand to pull him behind her, but his gaze is not on the group, but on you. You’re laughing at a joke he made for you by Chris while he explains to you how exactly the program works. Jake doesn’t like how close you sit next to each other, of course you both have to be able to look at the screen, but that’s extremely close.

-

The call of Thomas for his girlfriend makes you look up from the screen and immediately you meet the neutral, almost cold look of your boyfriend. Surprised, you draw your eyebrows together. You didn’t expect him here. You don’t have a chance to give him a sign like a smile or something, he’s already sitting at the table.  From here, you can’t hear what the others are saying, but when you see the look on Hannah’s face, you suddenly come to remember that you were on a date with the group.  "Can we go on?" Chris asks and pulls you out of your mind,  "Ooh, sure," you mumble. You really have to apologize later.

"What are you doing here?" Richy asks the hacker, "And why is Natasha sitting back there with someone else?""  Before Jake can answer, Hannah takes the job off him, "Natasha is otherwise busy, she forgot about us." "Serious?" Dan asks in amazement and then looks at Jake, "Trouble in paradise?" "Funny Dan. Really funny" Jake hisses and twists his eyes.  "Hey, that was just a joke," the bearded one explains, "I just wanted to say that the guy is weird."  "Did anyone talk to her?" Hannah asks. "No, we were just waving at her, I thought she’d be here soon, but it doesn’t look like it," says Thomas. "Hi guys" Lilly welcomes the round. They’re all here now. While Jake’s second sister takes off her jacket, she asks, "What’s going on here?" She points to you and Chris in the corner.  "We’ve been transferred," Hannah tells her again.

After Lilly sits down, the hacker begins to tell again what the problem is. "And she didn’t realize you weren’t happy about it?" Lilly asks and sounds a little angry.  "No, she doesn’t know," Jake sighs. "I’ll clear this up" the blond-haired woman shrugs her shoulders and gets up.  "No wait" her brother tries to stop her but she doesn’t let herself be disturbed.

You notice Lilly coming towards you with a not enthusiastic look.  "Hello Lilly" you greet her still smiling.  She nods neutral and pulls a chair back that creates an unpleasant squeak on the tiles. "Hi" she calls and looks expecting, "Who is that?" She immediately comes out with her concerns. You are almost swallowing up, "This is Chris, we have some subjects together at college," you explain to her. What’s going on now?

She stretches her hand across the table to Chris, "Hi, I’m Lilly Donfort. A friend of Natasha’s and her boyfriend’s sister," she imagines herself abruptly. Chris even twitches slightly at her sharp tone, "Hi, I’m Chris" responds a bit insecure and shakes her hand. "Haven’t you forgotten something?" explores she further. "Yes, I know, I’m really sorry, I’m just stressed about the subject, the exam is in two days and I don’t understand it yet. Chris offered to help me and I just forgot, "you apologize.  "Why do you let Chris help you? You haven’t forgotten who Jake is, have you?" she says cynically. "He’s mad, isn’t he?" you ask in shame and look away.  "Of course, think about why, and if you’re watching a movie while you’re in his arms, pack up the phone," the blond-haired gasps. You swallow. You did something wrong. "I didn’t want to hurt you," you mumble.

"Oh you didn’t hurt me directly.This with the meeting isn’t so bad. It’s just about Jake" "Wait, so you have a boyfriend?" Chris asks in between.  "Oh, she did," Lilly knocks twice on the table to underline her statement.  "The one who looks over here in between with this death look?" he asks amusingly.  "What’s funny about that?" Lilly pulls up an eyebrow. "Well, he’s trying to kill me with his looks, as jealous as he seems," Chris explains.  "Hey, stop talking so pejoratively about him, okay? He loves me, so he shows," you defend Jake right away.  "It’s okay, I didn’t mean to attack you, but I wonder why you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend?" "I didn’t think it was important. I mean, why? That has nothing to do with the university?" astonished you look at him. "Well, I thought if we were meeting, you’d be single?"  "Oh no" Lilly chuckles easily, "Here’s a misunderstanding" "Yes, that’s it, I thought there is something between us," Chris shakes his head.

"You have thought wrong," Jake suddenly interrupts you. Without wasting a second, he leans down to you to press his lips on yours.

A goose bump runs over your body, his voice sounds icy and rough. His lips are possessive and the hand in your neck makes sure you can’t leave his lips. But you don’t want it either; this moment should freeze. Each of his kisses is like a piece of heaven.

You get lost in that kiss. Forget everything around you, your thoughts, the people who luckily aren’t too many, Chris, Lilly, the group.

All you feel is your heart racing and your lips tingling. A short moment later, Jake releases you, "I’m sorry for the rudeness" he whispers against your lips.

You smile, "No, I’m sorry, I think we need to talk."

Jake turns his gaze away from you to Chris, but stays close to your face, "I think you can go now" with a mocking grin on your lips. Chris pulls up an eyebrow, "calm down" "Bye" the Hacker growls and waves while Chris puts his laptop in his pocket.  "I’ll see you in class tomorrow," Chris turns back to you. "And next time, maybe you should be careful what chemicals you mix together. Anyone who can read is clearly in advantage," Jake pushes another mockery after him.

Jake sighs and puts his eyes back on you, "I won’t apologize," he immediately clarifies.  "You don’t have to apologize, I guess I was a little too inattentive in the last few days" "Just a little bit" he jokes and sits down on the chair next to yours.  "I should have thought about what I say. And I shouldn’t have ruled you out," you apologize, "and I should have explained to you why I let Chris explain to me how it works, and not from you. l really didn't mean it bad, I just didn’t want to keep you from working.You’re so stressed right now and if I’m honest, Chris' father is also a professor and he teaches my informatics course. And when Chris tells his father that he help me, the father sees that I care. Simple psychology. His father will keep it in mind whether he wants to or not. And honestly, when you explain something, I feel like you’re telling me how to hack the NSA," at the end you chuckle easily.

"Maybe you should talk about it at home. I don’t know if you still want to stay here but I would like to order a coffee now also" Lilly shows to the waitress who stands at the table of the group and writes the orders of the others on a piece of paper.

-

"You know, actually, it wasn’t bad at all what you did," Jake murmurs. You’re lie half on him, your cheek is squeezed together on his chest while he plays with your hair.  "I think I exaggerated, I was too jealous. But you know, I’m a computer nerd, and my girlfriend asks someone else for help with a program on a computer. I know it’s ridiculous, but somehow I felt personally attacked, like that you think he’s better than me. Do you understand?" he asks quietly.  "Yeah, of course I understand, but don't think like that, okay? No one is better than you," you pull with your finger small circles on his chest, "And I would have been jealous too. You know, I like Chris as a friend. I didn’t want you to think I was paying too much attention to him. And the fact that I always answered him immediately doesn't mean anything. I wasn’t just looking at my phone because of him," you assured the hacker.

"And I didn’t think it bothered you that much, if I’d understood it before, I wouldn’t have done it. But I should have thought more, then I would have understood it sooner. We should both talk to each other more openly next time, okay?" you suggest and hold your hand towards him. He nods, "Deal!" he puts his hand in yours then shakes it.  "I just love you way too much to be able to see someone else at your side. I’m just afraid I’m not good enough for you."  "Jake, you’re way too good for me, really. Never think you are not good enough, you are everything and much more, I love you to infinity and beyond." "I love you even more" he whispers, and then turns so that he lies sideways opposite you. He presses his forehead against yours and sighs, "But I still don’t like him"  Before you can make a teasing comment, he’s already pressed his lips on yours.

His jealousy is just to sweet :)

🌹🎭

Masterlist

[victimofthemusic]

Hello! I’ve just been reading your Brokeback Mountain fanfic and I’m absolutely so invested!! You mentioned in Ao3 that you have been busy with your new job and seems like other fandoms have been at your most interest (totally ok). However, I would LOVE to see you finish this fanfic cause oh my god you writing is so vivid and beautiful holy shit. There’s not many Brokeback Mountain fan fictions that closely resemble the book and movies the way you write them. I’m not sure how many people are still invested in this fan fiction but I’m sure I’m not the only one. Wishing you the best but please update if and when you can 💖💖💖💖💖

Hi, anon! First of all, thank you SO much, you are seriously so sweet and this comment made my day, so thank you so much for being so kind💖

Here’s the good news: I most definitely do have plans for updating my BBM fic. I have an entire outline for it and I also have some of the next chapter written and even more plans for that particular fic as far expanding and continuing to contribute to the BBM fandom. Jack and Ennis have a piece of my heart and I will most definitely come back to them at some point.

The bad news: I have no idea when that will be, necessarily. I’ve been really involved with the Top Gun fandom and as a writer, I tend to go where the inspiration is, which can be really difficult for me to stick to one fic and see it all the way through. Chaptered fics are my Achilles heel and I have the worst track record with them and I feel so bad about it, because as a reader, I understand how frustrating it can be to fall in love with a fic and then have to wait around for an update😭 and I’m so sorry to put you guys through that, but during that time period, especially, I was going through a lot and writing fell by the wayside.

I’m hoping, with time and getting back into the groove of things, that I’ll find my way back to that fic in particular. I was also very surprised to see the amount of interest in that fic and I, in no way shape or form, expected it to get the response that it did in such a small fandom. You guys blew me away with how well it was received and I’m eternally grateful for you guys and your never ending support. And knowing that there’s such an overwhelming amount of interest definitely inspires me to keep going with it and I genuinely hope I get bit by the BBM bug again soon, so I can see that fic through💖

Thank you again for such sweet words—seriously, that is such a high a compliment, because both the book and the movie are absolutely beautiful pieces of art and the fact that my writing even manages to capture half the magic is mind blowing to hear💖 you are very kind and generous with your descriptions of my writing and I swear I’m going to print this out and frame it. Thank you, endlessly🫶

And if I may, the writer who inspired me to get into the BBM fandom— @justanotherkay — has several beautifully written (and completed) BBM fics that are my absolute favorite in the entire fandom. If you haven’t read them, I would highly encourage you to do so, because the way she captures Ennis and Jack is breathtaking and awe inspiring and I’m forever envious of her talent💖

Those beautiful pieces of literary artwork are linked here:

Thank you again for this and I hope to be back in this wonderful fandom soon💛🫶

[alreadyblondenow]

In favor of Chicago

nurse student!Johnny x art student!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, angst? Summary: Dating your ex’s best friend turned out to be a life changing chapter of your life... and you two can’t have sex because he thinks he has STD.  Word count: 11k Warnings: Mentions of STD, swearing, explicit mature themes, unprotected sex, back to back cheating, oral, sending of sex tape without consent. Note: This is just a fic, purely from my imagination. 

The library was packed when you decided to work on your Claude Monet paper that you have to hand to Mr. Moon before you head home. Picking a spot where a lot of students sitting and getting stunned by your presence was a huge distraction to you and hearing them gossip about your love life was way beyond disturbing. So the word is out. Not that you cared, but your attention span is really short. Being popular in college was not actually bad, but at times like this you just want to be a no one.

You’re in deep concentration with your paper and you’re five paragraphs away from finishing it. Taking a short break to check your phone and update your boyfriend that you’re almost done and you will go straight home after you hand this to your professor.

Jaehyun: So now you’re fucking my best friend? Real classy, y/n.

Jaehyun: How did this happened?

Jaehyun: Where are you? We need to talk.

Last time you check Jaehyun is not talking to you but now that the word is already out he suddenly cares. The breakup you had with Jaehyun was actually peaceful no fighting or shouting just pure talking and a lot of crying. Jaehyun is not the person you’re expecting to message you right now, you haven’t talked to each other since the night he broke up with you. So what if the popular girl is dating the university’s fuckboy? Is Johnny not allowed to finally settle in with someone?

Speaking of the devil, when you were headed to the faculty Johnny called you. You figure maybe he’s done with his shift at the university hospital.

“Hello” you answered your phone with a sweet smile that too bad Johnny won’t see.

“Hey, just calling to check if you’re okay. You know, everyone is going crazy about finding out about our relationship” through the phone you hear him open his locker, you’re right his shift is over.

“Well, they’re eight months late. Johnny were not hiding, I think everyone was just not looking enough... until now” you giggle through the phone and he couldn’t agree more.

“Okay okay, I’ll see you at your place. Just need to do something here at the hospital, will not take long but you go home safe, okay?” You answered a sweet “okay” still walking and smiling all by yourself like a crazy person.

“I love you my future art curator”

“I love you too my future nurse”

As you went home safely and take a hot shower before Johnny comes, you were brushing your teeth when the door opens and you finally see your sleepless boyfriend. For the first time today. He wraps his arms around your waist letting you finish brushing your teeth in peace. His chin rests comfortably on top of your shoulders, hearing him let go deep and heavy sigh.

For a normal person a sigh may be a sign of ’tiredness’ but for Johnny, it means he’s finally with you and he’s really happy to be with you now, watching you brush your teeth.

“I brought you your favorite Chinese takeout” he said as you two walk towards your small kitchen kissing him with your minty lips. Seeing the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter already making your place smell like freshly cooked stir fry, “yum, baby! Oh I’ve been craving”

After dinner you and Johnny are cuddled up in the middle of your bed. His giant figure does not fit in your small bed but he loves sleeping beside you. Sleeping beside you is like having sex with you but without actually having sex.

“Good night” he said softly, but it doesn’t really mean he’s going to sleep. It means, ‘close your eyes and relax while I make you feel good until you pass out’. You feel his hand creep around your stomach, lifting you sleepwear up to expose your boobs. Soon his lips touch yours, kissing you like how he loves you, feeling smiles in between kisses. As you lay on your back comfortably and Johnny kissing you down until you’re buried under the soft pillows, his big hands continues to cup your boobs, pinch your nipples and brushing his thumb on it because it’s your favorite thing.

“Why don’t you tell me about your day? I’ll listen” he said pulling away from your lips so you could talk. Johnny starts to kiss your jaw down to your neck until the valley between your boobs. You feel wild, open mouth kisses around your upper body hands are playing with your boobs, sliding on your sides, soothing your tummy as he goes down. You try to construct your sentence as you start telling him about your day.  

“I’m d-down with my last few papers…” he’s taking time kissing your lower abdomen before removing your thin shorts and panties. “just a few more research papers and professor Moon will write me a recommendation paper for the intern- fuck, Johnny” it became harder for you to talk when he finally stick his thumb on your wet clothed pussy, slowly removing the fabric down to your legs, spreading it wide and blow cold air on your pussy lips. You shiver at what Johnny did and tried to close your legs but he’s quick to stop it.

“Baby, continue” Johnny demands before devouring your pussy finally.

You can’t stop moving your hips once his tongue touched your pussy. The way his tongue glides up and down your pussy just tells you how wet you are and horny for Johnny. “If the company liked my portfolio, I’ll land an internship there and there will be a big possibility that they will absorb me- hmmm!” pushing your hips to his mouth to feel more of his tongue, imagining that it’s his cock he’s fucking you with.

“Oh-baby, mind spreading my pussy lips?” you know it’s a request Johnny can’t refuse, and so he did. Spreading your pussy lips with both of his hands, licking your cunt up and down fast and hitting that nerve. Johnny is proud how well he’s making you feel good, listening to your moans and watching you between your legs with eyes closed, lips parted and gasping loudly.

You don’t know what to do with your hands by this time. Touch Johnny’s soft hair and push his head more against your cunt? Cup your boobs and touch yourself? Grip the sheets?

Yes.

Grip the sheets. That way you wont hurt Johnny or yourself with those long nails of yours. Throwing yourself on edge, Johnny gave your slit long slow licks from bottom to your clit, both if his hands still holding your pussy lips. Pushing your hips off the bed to feel more, rolling your hips fast on Johnny’s tongue hitting his mouth, using it completely to go off.

He knew you reached your sweet climax when your legs are shivering and you’re gripping the pillows tightly, moaning and grunting softly. You feel your body warm and sweaty and to be honest, you can’t feel your legs. Still breathing heavily and catching your breath, you feel Johnny clean the mess between your thighs, got you a clean pair of panties, rolled down your sleepwear and covered you with the thick sheets.

“How I wish we could really have sex” you know it’s the wrong thing to mention but you just can’t help it. It’s not fair that Johnny fucked almost half of the population of pretty girls at the university and now that he’s your boyfriend he can’t have sex with you… “At least I don’t have to worry about getting you knocked up” he jokes but deep inside you know he’s hurting. As you two lay in bed tired and still horny, you finished the night like how you two usually do. Kiss. Finish the night with dirty and filthy smooches.      

Eight or nine months ago, just when you and Johnny are getting started with your blooming relationship he admitted that he’s not sure if he’s clean. “Well why don’t you get tested?” you asked worriedly propping your elbow on the mattress and facing him. “I’m scared of the results. I-I’m not yet ready, you know? What if I have it, or or worst-“  Johnny sounded scared, sad and angry all at the same time.

“What if you’re not? Baby, I’m not forcing you but I’m telling you it’s the right thing to do.” And that scares Johnny the most, when you tell him to go take the test but he had to refuse.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I really can’t do it. I feel fine, healthy, and as long as I can breathe, walk and study, I will not take the test. Not until I’m ready. I can’t let it ruin my future” he finished explaining and closed his eyes, bringing his hand in the middle of his forehead and gently massage it.

From there on, you don’t question him why. But you do tell him to go take the test without sounding like you’re forcing him to do something he’s not ready to do. Instead, you both enjoyed the relationship you had. Sex free and full of love. Though you two can be filthy at times, but most of the time your intimacy comes in different shapes and sizes.

And that fuckboy reputation? Completely gone.

You knew what you signed up for. You expect Johnny to cheat and find different women in his apartment whenever you visit, getting yourself ready for multiple heartbreaks and never ending forgiveness. But no, the boy was completely loyal to you and it’s almost too good to be true. Johnny has been fucking around since his freshman days, showing off different girls night after night, and not taking nursing school seriously. It’s a miracle how he managed to keep his GPA. “I always envy Jaehyun. I always want to have someone like you, I think I just got lucky to have exactly who I want”  

The relationship you two built is like no other. It’s like you’re both facing adulthood together and finding a way to make life easier with the help of each other. Being a senior in college means you’ll have a hectic schedule before you finally graduate.

For Johnny, that’s being an intern at the university hospital and taking shifts there until he’s qualified to transfer to another hospital. For you, you’re taking up classes and finishing a few papers and wait for The Art Institute of Chicago take you as an intern. It was never easy but the you have Johnny and he has you.

You believe that Johnny is the man you’re marrying someday and you’re willing to take care of your relationship with him whatever it takes. Johnny thinks the same way, over the past few years he’s been watching you and Jaehyun love each other wildly. And now that he has you, he will not fuck it up. “I didn’t stole you from Jaehyun, right?”

You giggle at his question thinking how someone like him is actually worried from stealing you from your ex. “No, Johnny. We broke up months ago when you came back from Chicago. I remember telling you the story though-“

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Just checking again”

As the world watches you two have a peaceful relationship, a lot of people try so hard to ruin what you two got. You’ve been getting a lot of messages and stories about how different girls fucked Johnny already, telling you that he’s probably cheating right now at this very second. But again, you knew Johnny better than anyone else because you are his first love and he only opened his heart for you. Besides, those bitches got nothing on you.

While different girls try to ruin Johnny’s image for you, a specific someone tries to ruin your image for Johnny. Your ex, Jaehyun. But just like you, Johnny knew better than losing his shit for Jaehyun.

Days and weeks went on like this and stress just keeps getting the best out of you and Johnny. You’re busy writing hundred pages long for a specific artist, and Johnny is busy with hospital duties. Which is making him crazy without his coping mechanism and stress relief that is usually sex. And he knew all too well that he can’t have sex with you even if he use a condom.

One night he found you sleeping soundly on your bed and he was completely exhausted because of overtime and he really needs you right now. He kissed you softly until you wake up, your eyes were really tired from facing your computer the whole day but you understand that Johnny is home, so you need to wake up. “I missed you” he whispers softly, feeling soft touches around your thighs. Lips still on Johnny’s and you’re not planning to pull away any minute, “can’t make you eat me tonight baby, you’re dead tired” you said with a hoarse voice, it surprised you when he shook his head. Telling you to be quiet, he gently removed your shorts and panties and giving your pussy a peck.

You watch him put his middle finger in his mouth as he sucks it while looking into your eyes making you feel shy and exposed that your legs are widely spread in front of him and your cunt is waiting to be touched. But it’s Johnny you don’t need to be shy.

He insert his middle finger inside your tight cunt a little rough. Pulling it and out from you, making you crazy and moan loudly. “close your eyes” he said with the most sexiest voice ever. Your mind goes to every scenario possible. Ice play? Overstimulation? Fucking you with a dildo?

Feeling excited as you wait for him to make his move, you don’t know but he’s unbuckling his belt, removing his pants and pumping his cock. Hesitating to fuck you raw and making an unreasonable decision to have sex with you tonight.

“This will feel good baby, I promise”

His hands are both on the sides of your head, taking advantage of your closed eyes. Your heart is thumping loud you swear you can hear it. Smiling wildly feeling Johnny’s kisses on your neck until you feel the tip of his cock lining at your entrance.

Everything happened so fast. You pushed him way to hard like he was some kind of rapist. Immediately feeling the guilt and regret that you let yourself open your legs wide for him.  Wearing your panties again and putting back your thin shorts, feeling angry at the man you love and you don’t know what to do with him.

Johnny is apologising over and over and over again but you don’t listen to him. You don’t hate him of course, you’re just… scared and worried for yourself because this is the first time Johnny became like this.

“I’ll pretend this never happened Johnny. I’ll sleep on the couch, you need to sleep well tonight”

How do you expect him to sleep like a baby after what’s happened? On the next day, he felt like shit and even more guilty when he found out you already left for your morning classes. He made it to the hospital without any sleep and rest, and it was a tough day at the hospital.

“Well you look like shit” His friend Karen gave him another cup of cheap coffee from the vending machine because she thought Johnny needed it. “Rough night?” she added, keeping Johnny’s attention to her.

“Tell me about it. Fucking newbies don’t know what to do most of the time, can you believe that shit” he let it out really annoyed and tired, drank the coffee in one down. It wasn’t really hot, it’s always like that that’s why it’s cheap.

Karen is an intern from another university, a younger nurse than Johnny. If he’s single and if he doesn’t have you, he will definitely fuck Karen at the nurse lounge. And he can’t believe he’s thinking about banging his co-intern after what happened last night.

“I get you. Being a junior in this hospital fucking stresses me out, I’ve never been to a hospital so stressful. I mean for an intern like me? It’s too much, don’t you think?” she sighs, “I need sex, lots of sex”

Johnny almost choke when he heard what she said, he can’t believe they’re thinking the same thing. ’Sex.’

“Now that I let that out of my chest, do you… uhm” she scratched her neck being awkward about the situation she singlehandedly made. “Want to have sex…with me? I heard you’re like uhm, popular here because of… you know. Definitely no strings attached just pure adult stress release”

Being from another school definitely made her miss the memo that Johnny is with the most popular girl in campus, running valedictorian, and basically his future wife. The saddest part is, Johnny thought he’s completely a changed man and that no other temptation can make him turn his back around and dive into hooking up with other girls. It makes him sad that he’s about to do it.

The two hit it off at the empty nurse lounge at the other building’s basement. Since they’re both familiar with how the hospital works, they’re sure know no one will catch them there.

In the middle of pounding Karen and Johnny’s balls deep inside her, it felt really good now that he’s fucking someone again. Imagining that it’s you he’s fucking feeling the guilt even more. “Why didn’t we did this a little sooner?” Karen was moaning uncontrollably, muffling her screams whenever Johnny tells her to be quiet and give her ass a juicy slap.

“Feels good, fuck. You aren’t a virgin right? But fuck it feels like a virgin’s hole” his hands are on her hips watching how her massive boobs bounce up and down right in front of him.  Thumbing Karens clit, pushing her on edge careful not to release at the condom yet. He pulls out immediately and licks her cunt until she cums. Letting her shiver on top of the hospital bed with no sheets. He slams back inside her again, making her cum using his cock giving her the full experience of being fucked by Johnny.

“It’s good that we fit… You know that?” he grunts while fucking her with a steady pace letting Karen moan his name loudly until he cums finally.

Feeling guilty and shy as hell, he cleans himself and went outside the room letting Karen make herself presentable again.

While Johnny is inside someone’s pussy and having the time of his life, you on the other hand who is completely clueless, is thinking about making him dinner and tell him the good news that you finally got the internship in Chicago.

“You leave in two weeks” you remember Mr. Moon telling you the great news. Calling every person that actually cares for you and telling them the big news, screaming and shouting on the phone excitedly as you walk back to your apartment. Still wondering why Johnny haven’t answered his phone.

You put on some classical music to calm your excited nerves, making Johnny his favorite dish and trying to finish everything up before he arrives. Opening a glass of wine and drinking it while you cook, thinking how you more than deserved this.

“Hi, babe! Right on time, I have good news” you welcomed him with kisses at the hallway and walked him towards the dinning room. “But first let’s eat dinner while the food is hot”

All throughout the dinner you noticed Johnny’s mood. Maybe he’s tired? You can’t take the silence anymore so you asked what’s wrong, hoping that it’s nothing serious. Did he finally take the test? It’s making you anxious every second that passes. He’s not looking to you in the eye, he’s not touching his food but he already had three glasses of wine.  

“I had sex with someone. Today, at the hospital”

EIGHT MONTHS AGO

Before your last semester as a junior in college ends, Jaehyun decided to breakup with you. “I just don’t see my future anymore with you, Y/n” his exact words. After being together since high school and almost half of your college years, putting up with every bullshit he gave you for the last six years now he’s finally letting you go. Thankfully the breakup was nothing but peaceful and there were no shouting or cursing at each other. But it was painful for you.

This is your first summer without Jaehyun and theres no better way to heal from a breakup by getting yourself busy. You’ve been working on your portfolio day and night and you think it’s better than just watching a sad Netflix movie. There’s no way that you’re not going to land your future job in Chicago right after graduation so you worked your ass off.

Today you need to mail a physical copy of your portfolio and went to the post office alone to your surprise you saw a certain someone. Johnny Seo, Jaehyun’s best friend. Looking a little different from the last time you saw him.

“It’s great to see you...in a post office” he said and you both laughed awkwardly. He noticed your well wrapped thick portfolio and figured things out  from there. He quickly received what he was going to get and helped you mail out your item.

“How are things with Jaehyun? I heard he quit being a dj for the school radio when I went home to Chicago. The fool didn’t want any partner but me” he said as he walks with you not knowing where to go.

You figured he wasn’t around when Jaehyun broke up with you so he missed the news. “We broke up, two or three months ago, I think” trying not to look so hurt by what you said, you avoid eye contact and looked at your shoes as you both continue to walk. He apologised for what he said and for being insensitive but you told him it’s fine, he was away that time so you understand him.

“Well, you don’t look fine. Can I buy you ice cream?” it was a leap of faith for Johnny to ask you to spend some time with him and he was hoping you would really give him a chance.

“Is this the part where you ask me out and ask me to sleep with you because I’m not with Jae anymore?” heart beats really fast because of what you just said. You didn’t mean to be bold and straightforward but knowing about his fuckboy reputation in campus just makes you put your guard up.

Now that you’re not with Jaehyun anymore you figure maybe you don’t have the immunity from being added to the list of the girls he fucked already.

“No y/n, I’m simply being nice to you. And if I want to fuck you I’d tell you ‘let’s get out of here so we can have sex’ but I didn’t right?”

You feel ashamed for what kind of behaviour you showed him but Johnny is nice enough to still buy you ice cream. At the the end of the day you had a great time eating ice cream with him and talked about random stuff. Maybe you’re exaggerating a little but you feel alive again after for so long.

Way back when you and Jaehyun are together, you only see Johnny when you’re looking for Jaehyun at the dorm or whenever Jaehyun is way too drunk to walk, Johnny is the person to call. They’ve been friends since they were freshmen and just building their own selves through college. Jaehyun is the university’s star athlete and sexy chef while Johnny is the known hot fuckboy from the nursing department. Everyone is crazy about them especially when they started to dj at the university’s radio. Their ratings were high because people simply can’t get enough of their handsomeness.

Ever since Jaehyun introduced you to Johnny, he always tells you how sometimes Johnny looked at you like you were some type of meal that he’s been craving for. “You don’t know him like I do, babe. Just promise me to avoid him even if he’s being nice, even if he’s my best bud.”

But now that you’ve been hanging out a lot with Johnny you see him as a warm person. Nice enough to help you land a good internship once senior year starts, a family guy who loves his parents so much, and  gentleman enough to sneak in your room using your opened window while you’re sleeping.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday happy birthday... happy birthday to you”

In your dark room, you heard him singing you happy birthday just when the clock strikes twelve. Johnny is holding a small cupcake with one lit candle, smiling so sweetly to you as he waits for you to make a wish and blow the candle.

No one has ever surprised you in such a way and you didn’t expect that Johnny will be the first. “How did you even get in?” whispering and careful not to be heard by your parents you asked Johnny and he points to you the opened window as his answer.

It’s weird how things move so fast for you and Johnny but slow enough to achieve what you both had in mind. You think it’s too early for Johnny to put his arm around you while walking outside the neighbourhood, incredibly close to each other but you let him. You don’t know why you let him sneak in your room almost every night and spend the night with him just laying on your bed talking softly and giggling like little kids.

Not wanting him to leave yet, you invite him to lay with you in bed. Letting him slide under covers and keep you warm. It’s obvious that you two like each other but no one is taking advantage of that but today’s your birthday, being selfish for once won’t ruin your ‘friendship’ with Johnny.

“Can I kiss you?” You blurted out.

“Can I kiss you?” He repeats your question, emphasis on the ‘I’ and you nod your head as your answer. “Happy birthday” he added before kissing you again sweetly, putting you on top of him. Enjoying how his lips are finally touching yours, enjoying the happiness you’re feeling after being trapped to someone for so long.

As senior year starts you spend almost every second and every minute with Johnny now that you move out from Jaehyun’s apartment and have your own. Johnny didn’t move in with you but he basically lives with you because he can’t stand not being with you with every time he’s got free time. No one knows how senior year will eat up the time you two should be together and Johnny came prepared for that.

“Let me live with you here but not really live, live… get it? I can take care of you, I’m going to be your private nurse, I will do the laundry, I will give you pleasure” he kissed the knuckles of your right hand, “I will be your boyfriend. I will show you how a proper boyfriend should treat his girlfriend. Once we’re both interns in Chicago, I promise you… we’ll stay at our house”

“That’s a lot of promises Johnny Seo. Chill, you can live with me. Let’s take care of each other, you don’t need to do everything”

“How did I get so lucky!” he’s squeezing you with a tight hug on the couch, bodies closer as usual.

And you did took care of each other. Whenever you feel sick, tired, or worn out, Johnny is always present. Him being a nurse is actually good for someone who gets sick a lot. You made him be a better person, helping him study more for nursing exams and helping him maintain his GPA.

Playing house isn’t the term, but you two helped each other whenever someone is struggling financially. If Johnny is short for his tuition money, you don’t hesitate to cover for it.

“Do you want to stop studying? In the middle of fucking senior year?”

“No” Johnny accepts defeat.

“Then shut up and take my money, come on I’ll pay with you”

And if you’re the one who’s short for rent money, Johnny got you covered. He doesn’t tell it to you but you found out that he’s been paying for your rent fee whenever you’re behind.

“Do you want to live in my small apartment? With Ten?”

“No” This time it’s you who accepts defeat.

“Thought so too. You don’t want to live with two filthy nurses right? So I already took care of the rent baby, you don’t have to worry about it”

EIGHT MONTHS AFTER / PRESENT TIME

“This is it then? You’re breaking up with me?”

“No. Johnny I’m not breaking up with you. All I’m asking is some space, let me think about staying in this relationship. Let me think about what you did. I’m trying my best to convince myself not to leave you, so please just give me some space”

“Baby, please. It doesn’t mean anything”

“Sure it doesn’t but what if I do the same thing to you?” your tone was a little loud this time, every second this conversation grew you, your frustrations grew double. “You will be heartbroken just like me right now. I don’t know if Im fooling myself for thinking that maybe you’re the one for me, now I’m asking space so I can make sure that I still want you to be part of my life”

Johnny was speechless when you walked out in front of him. He wanted to ran to you and beg for more but he needs to get back to the hospital.

It’s been a painful three days for the both of you. Neither one of you functions well. You’re a wreck, he’s a wreck. And truth be told you both can’t afford a breakup right now because it might affect your work performance. At least that’s how you feel about the breakup, you don’t know about Johnny.

During the nights you were sleeping alone, you remember how you and Johnny dance and drink beer in the middle of a bar that has a live band. And no one would care if you two were just enjoying your own little world. Walking around campus hand in hand while he’s eating his sandwich in his hospital scrubs and you’re holding a book and reading about more artists. It doesn’t matter if no one is talking, what matters most is that you’re together.

Sure he’s just some guy but he’s been a part of you already. And what Johnny did ruined your relationship. You’re crying right now because you’re madly, deeply in love with him and what he did is like putting a knife straight to your heart and you don’t know what to do about it.  

The night before you leave for Chicago, Johnny went to your apartment after his long hour shift. You can see that he’s tired and sleepless but he still chose to go to your apartment, “I’ll help you pack” he said weakly heading towards to your closet and folded your clothes. It’s not that you’re letting him help you, you don’t have the energy to argue further with him.

It was dead quiet. Something has never happened in this apartment of your whenever Johnny is around. The air feels heavy and you want him to leave now after he zips your luggage. “Listen, uhm- I maybe can’t drive you to the airport tomorrow. I have an early shift-“

“It’s okay. I can handle everything by myself” You’re still not looking at him, crossing your arms waiting for him to head out. At this point, why are you still surprise that Johnny can’t drop you off.

“Okay. Uh… Can I hug you?” he was hopeful you can see it in his eyes. You want to grant his request but that’s not how space works.

“Good night Johnny, you know the way out. Get some sleep.”

On the next day, it’s a good thing that you’re excited and you don’t feel sad and bad for yourself. This is the only thing that you have full control with, your future. After everything you did to get where you are right now, you can say that you’re proud of yourself. You’re excited to work, meet Mr. Choi and have the time of your life.  

“Chicago is great, Mr. Choi and the company gave me an amazing apartment. And the people at work are so nice, not to mention the Museum! Ugh! The museum is beautiful, Wendy! You should go visit here” since you don’t have Johnny to tell all these stories, you pour them all to your best friend, Wendy.

“That’s great! Hey, listen…” she clears her throat, “Have you talked to Johnny lately?”

“N-no, why would I?”

“I don’t know y/n? He’s been asking me every week about you and he looks like shit, though I heard he nailed that internship there… In Chicago. So you know, prepare yourself?”

“Thanks for the heads up Wendy. It’s okay, tell him I’m fine and I’m doing great here” After you hung up on Wendy, theres a familiar figure that’s looking for old LP records and you decided to take a closer look. Before you could even get closer, the man turned around and saw you.

“Y/n!”

Jung fucking Jaehyun. Looking so handsome as always. Just like the firs time you met him, but now he has brown hair. “What are you doing here in Chicago?” you asked him, staring like a statue and you didn’t know you have the brightest smile flashing in front of him.

“I’m an intern here. You know cooking meals for some famous people, I’m actually here for about three months already I’ll go back to campus in a matter of weeks. Wait for graduation when I get back, how about you?”

“I just got here a week ago, I finally got the internship at The Art Institute”

With Jung Jaehyun’s presence you suddenly felt home again. You’re happy that he’s finishing his internship here and he’s going to have his own restaurant when he graduates. Jaehyun was excited to tell you all of his plans for himself and for his business. You on the other hand, thought that maybe breaking up wasn’t so bad.

He invited you to his place and told you he’ll make you dinner, “come one, just like old times” he winks at you and put an arm over your shoulder.

You watch Jaehyun cook in his small but decent kitchen, and you got to admit you miss watching him cook his heart out for you. It’s only been a few months since you two broke up and you can’t believe he has changed so much.

“Try this, it’s hot though” he put he fork right in front of your mouth and gave you a mouthful of pasta. “Hmm! Jaehyun, it’s good” he chuckles at your reaction, watching you eat the past with some garlic bread.

“I only hear you moan like that in bed” he said, smiling at you and teasing you like you two never broke up in the first place. Playfully you smack his arm and continue eating.

The night went on and on of you two talking about your past. After one casserole of pasta and three bottles of wine, you’re now laying on the couch with Jaehyun in between his legs with a small blanket on your leg.

“You sure Johnny won’t mind of you being here?” you feel the vibrations of his voice against your back whenever he talks.

“He wouldn’t dare. Were kind of not together now. He slept with someone from the hospital before we could even, do it.”

“So you never had sex? That’s a shocker, I used to think you two fuck like rabbits”

“Jaehyun you’re disgusting” as much as it disgust you, it made you giggle and laugh, “Johnny thinks he’s not clean, he can’t have sex with me. He’s scared to be tested”

You don’t see it but Jaehyun is really disappointed with Johnny. “I may be an asshole to you, but I never cheated” Jaehyun says proudly, reaching for his glass of wine and drinking it in one down. Hugging you from behind and keeping you close to him, you can smell his familiar perfume. Something you haven’t smell for some time now but you still know it’s Jaehyun’s.

“Do you miss it? The sex?” he broke the comfortable silence.

“Of course. You know me Jae, sex was like a big part of our relationship. But that was us. Me and Johnny were okay even though we don’t get to have sex, but yeah sometimes I miss it. And maybe Johnny missed it a little too much”

After having great dinner at his apartment, Jaehyun brought you to your apartment safe and sound. Inviting you again for the next day, “I could stop by at the museum and we’ll go grocery shopping” it wasn’t a bad idea, you’re sucker for good a great company and Jaehyun is the perfect person for that. Before Jaehyun fly back home, you two spent time with each other. He brought you to he restaurant, you brought him to the museum.

Jaehyun is the one doing Johnny’s promises to you.

Four days before Jaehyun leaves, is supposed to be the date of your seventh year anniversary. “Let’s celebrate it, no ones going to die if we celebrate it” Jaehyun said through the phone, inviting you to his place again tonight, to celebrate. It’s not a good idea of course but it will be just good food, wine and a lot of talking.

Or so you thought. The whole dinner time Jaehyun was flirting with you and you’ve been rolling your eyes over and over again for the past three hours.

You’re looking at his LP collection while you listen closely to the music he played. Standing in front of the record player reading the track list and sipping wine. You feel Jaehyun put your hair on the other side of your neck and kiss your exposed shoulders. Soft lips on your skin, hands caressing your shoulders, you miss this feeling.

“Were both single and were not looking for relationship. We both want the same thing, right”  his voice is deep whenever he wants something from you. You nod at what he said quickly turning you around to face him. Kissing you without a warning, tasting the expensive wine that still lingers on your lips.

Leaving the record play beautifully as you two walk towards his room, leaving a trail of your discarded clothes on floor and reaching the bed already fully naked. He kissed your neck, whispering how much he missed you, kissing your jaw down to your boobs cupping them and kneading as he goes back to your lips again to tell you, “you always have the prettiest nipples”

Suddenly, you remember Johnny.  

You watch him lick your nipples, left and right. Pinching it softly and gently careful not to hurt you and eventually sucking it until it’s both swollen. “Does Johnny knows your nipples turns pink after an hour of just sucking it and playing with it?” you just listen to Jaehyun as he do what he pleases.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever been with, I’m an idiot for leaving you” he went down to your exposed sex, kissing it softly but not making you sensitive. You feel him kiss your upper thighs, slowly putting his tongue out when he reaches your pussy lips. “I bet Johnny gave you a lot of oral,” you nod your head weakly watching him smile in between your legs, “I’ll make you wet and fuck you the whole night, something he can’t do” it breaks your heart hearing those words.

Jaehyun spits on your cunt and kept it wet and ready for his cock, playing with your hole for some time so you won’t get hurt. When you finally saw him pump his cock and line it to your entrance, you’re tempted for a second to make him stop so you closed your legs.

“We’ve done this a thousand time y/n, it’s just me” Jaehyun made sure to make you calm and remind you that this is just sex, “this wont mean anything” he added.

With one smooth thrust, Jaehyun is inside you. And after for so long you’re having sex again with the same man who fucked you for the past six years. You put your legs around his waist, keeping him close to you as he thrust in and out. “Happy anniversary” he teases while giving you hard thrusts that makes you grunt and your boobs bounce. Chest to chest and forehead to forhead, Jaehyun is fucking you good. Moaning his name as you enjoy the feeling that you’ve been missing for the last couple of months.

“I was hurt when I found out about you and Johnny” he gave you hard piercing thrust. One by one, putting his anger on his thrust remembering how it hurt when he knew about you and Johnny. “I didn’t broke up with you so he could have you, no no” he’s giving you the same thrust hearing him breath heavily. You on the other hand is taking it all, the hurt and stretch of his cock, the impact of his thrust, his bites on your shoulder, everything.

You and Jaehyun fucked again and again that night. Kissing your body to sleep on his cozy apartment, and doing the same thing the moment he wakes up. “Good morning beautiful, what do you want for breakfast?” he kisses you body all over until he finally sees your sweet smile and morning glow, “and don’t tell me you want me for breakfast. Please you worn me out last night” he added, kissing your lips and smiling at you.

Poking his dimples before you tell him what you want for breakfast, he catches your finger and playfully bites it. “I’m fine with pancakes and strawberries, with lots of syrup and freshly brewed coffee”

“Okay. Now get your sexy ass in the shower, I’ll make us breakfast” he kissed you one last time before he heads to the kitchen.

When Jaehyun heard you’re busy inside the bathroom, he messaged Johnny. Sending him a video of you and him, having sex last night. Feeling so accomplished that this time Johnny will feel double the hurt Jaehyun felt when he found out about your relationship. Soon after he flipped a couple of pancakes, Johnny replied to his message.

Johnny: At least delete the fucking video, I don’t need to watch it.

Jaehyun: Meet me at the café near campus tomorrow night. We need to talk.

“Hey chef, the pancake is ready to be flipped” you came out of nowhere and Jaehyun was quick to put away his phone. Giving you his innocent dimpled smile, “here you go” drizzling the syrup on top of the pancakes watching Jaehyun put some confectioners’ sugar. You had a peaceful breakfast with Jaehyun before he could leave and catch his flight back.

“Jae, just so you know… I still love Johnny. I will take of the consequences just please, don’t tell what happened- I’m ashamed”

It’s too late for that now, Jaehyun kissed your forehead and promised you not to meddle. Even though he already did, just like you he will face the consequences by himself.

Johnny on the other hand feels so broken. You’re right, it hurts like hell. He didn’t need to watch the video but it was a wake up call for him. He’s tired of just sitting back and watching you slowly fade in his life. If he wanted to prove something to you, he knows exactly what he needs to do.

“Hey Ten, I need you to do me favor- fuck, I don’t how to do this but, I need to get tested today. Before I fly to Chicago in a week, I need to finally do it. I’m losing her”

Ten is Johnny’s best friend, he pulled some strings at the hospital to make the test and the results private. Johnny is a famous man and every person who knew him will lose their shit if they found out about the STD testing.

Jaehyun and Johnny met at the café as planned. The tension between the two men grew worst when Jaehyun told Johnny that he’s been sleeping with you for a week even though that part is not true and that you two celebrated your seventh year anniversary.

“I came here for y/n, not to listen about your little play house with her” Johnny let out a big sigh and sipped on his coffee, “she needs you there and as much as it hurts me, I’m thankful you guys met there”

Jaehyun was lost, but surprised that Johnny is not using his fists anymore to settle things like how he used to. “She loved you more than she could ever love me, and dude you fucking wasted it. Even though you fucking cheated, she still loves you like crazy.”

“I’m well aware of my mistakes Jaehyun, that’s why I’m making things right from now on. Funny how I used to fuck every girl just for fun but now that I want to have sex with someone I love, I can’t.”

“Why didn’t you just use a condom?”

“Are you stupid? The fact that I’m doubting if i’m clean is not safe for her already. She doesn’t deserve that”

“And the girl you cheated with deserved shit? Oh come on Johnny-“

“She got tested and it’s negative so you could shut the fuck up now Jaehyun”

“Okay okay. Now it’s time for me to talk” Jaehyun clears his throat and looked at Johnny straight in his eyes, “I’m getting her back. And once I do that, I will treat her right”

“I doubt that Jaehyun. She loves me”

Jaehyun’s threat scared the shit out of Johnny if he’s being honest. And putting up a straight face in front of Jaehyun was hard, Johnny knew he is capable of getting you back. The fact that you two slept together again is a good sighn for Jaehyun already, and Johnny is scared to the bone right now. He took the earliest flight to Chicago after a week and he will find you and do everything just to win you back.

It’s a busy day for you and tonight you can impress your boss and show him what you’ve got. The Art Institute of Chicago will held a public screening by morning until after and a private screening on the evening. You mentally cheer for yourself as you read notes and guidelines for today’s event, nervous but you’re sure as hell you can do it.

Just as you’re finished for the first part of your work, your high heels is killing you right now so you decided to get out of the crowd and rest your feet some place quieter. As you stretch your feet and grunt for a few times, you saw someone standing in front of Claud Monet’s Water Lilies.

“Good evening sir, unfortunately this is a private screening-“

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know that. But I do know someone special to me that Claude Monet is her favorite artist. She scans her father’s books and she found countless of pictures of Monet’s landscape works, and she tries to copy it. That’s how you started to love art.”

You told him that story on one of those peaceful nights back in your room before senior year even starts. Not expecting him to remember that stupid story of you decided you wanted to pursue art. That was the first time you opened up to Johnny and told him more personal stuff about you.

“h-hi, I really didn’t know that this is a private screening. I just wanted to see you, watch you work from a far and talk when your work is done”

“No, it’s fine. Though I should get back, sorry” you walk away from him and try to hurry back to the event but suddenly you felt like crying. You love Johnny with all your heart but the relationship you had right now is complicated and you want to fix it so bad but you don’t know how to. With big steps and not minding your tortured feet, you came back to Johnny and hugged him. “I’ll be right back baby. This won’t take long”

Johnny didn’t want to let you go, he just wanted to hug you and keep you close. He kissed your forehead and watched you walk away from him with tears on your eyes and a big smile. Mouthing him that you’ll be back.

After a long day at the art institute and in Johnny’s case having a long flight, you two entered your apartment with lips never leaving each other. “I miss you so much” Johnny said in between kisses, keeping you close to him.

You feel him unbutton your shirt but you stopped him. Breathing heavily as you pull away from him and hold his hand down, “lets talk, yeah? I have to tell you something” you walk towards the kitchen and made you two coffee first. Johnny grew silent waiting for you to talk, completely clueless that  you’re having a hard time constructing your sentence.  

“Is this about Jaehyun?”

You stopped what you’re doing and turned to face him, “how did you-“

“We talked, man to man. And I want you to know that it hurt me but, I don’t care. I’m crazy in love about you y/n, I know you are too. And right now what we have is complicated but look where we are right now? We fucked up because were not perfect, lust is lust and we both learned that the hard way” it hurts Johnny to watch you cry in front of him but he can’t move his legs. Like you he’s overwhelmed and full of emotions, he wanted to give you some air. “I bet you were thinking about me when you two did it, because I did when I did it when Karen”

You nod without hesitating, reaching in for him because you feel weak and Johnny catches you with a tight hug. “I’m sorry baby, I started this that’s why I’m fixing it. If you want me get on my knees and apologise I will do it, just to win back” he said with a hoarse voice, whimpering like a child. It almost didn’t sound like Johnny because you see him as this tough guy but now he’s just vulnerable.

“What are you talking about, I’m the who messed up big time. I’m sorry too can you give me another chance?” tears fall down to your face and it’s getting hard to talk because of your heavy crying. But Johnny was giggling in front of you admiring how cute you are right now. Giving you a soft kiss that tastes salty because of tears.

There’s a saying that sometimes we have to kiss the wrong man to know what’s right. In your case, you have to fall hard and fucked up so bad to realise that you want to be with Johnny forever. What you and Johnny had was real and you learned it the hard way.

Of course it was not that easy to start again but one thing is for sure, you’re crazy about each other and you love each other deeply. Setting boundaries and fixing the mess you two made was the hardest part of it. Johnny took care of Karen already and the girl says sorry, you scoff at that thought, “If I see her around the campus, I’m gonna slap the shit out of her” you told Johnny with all your might knowing perfectly well what you’re capable of. He was happy you’re back at being his protective girlfriend.

“Speaking of violence, I might kill Jaehyun if that’s the case baby” he scoffed and pour himself another cup of coffee. Johnny wouldn’t dare ruin your relationship with Jaehyun just because you slept with him, he wanted you to take care of it yourself without him meddling.

“yeah well, no shit” you yawn in front of him, “don’t you have hospital duty?” he shook his head and put your mug on the sink. He stood in between your legs and carried you using his strength, keeping your legs around his waist. He kept on whispering apologies to you, sweet apologies that warms your heart and tighten your hug placing you on the bed gently, “can I sleep here?”

“Of course Johnny. Never leave me”

He let out a soft chuckle and lay beside you, “Never again”

The next day you woke up without Johnny by your side. You’re starting to think that maybe it was a dream? But you smell fresh coffee and toasted bread with butter or maybe that was grilled cheese.

“Good morning, sorry you woke up alone. I had to go to the farmers market” you hugged him from behind, kissing his muscular back “Now, I’m not a good cook like Jaehyun but you always loved my coffee, here” he hands you your hot coffee and asked for a good morning kiss that you happily gave.

“Do you have work today?” he asked looking at your morning face admiring your messy hair and swollen face.

“Nope. What do you have in mind”

“Meet my parents today?” you almost spit your coffee when you hear him say that.

The whole car drive was full of questions about his parents mainly because you have no idea what they’re like. Johnny was amused at how worried you were even though he’s confident they’re going to love you. “How many girls did you introduce to them already?” you asked Johnny nervously watching him laugh at your serious question, “You’re the first. I told you, you’re my first love- will you stop worrying? Look there they are” he waved at them happily as you smiled to his parents, waiting for Johnny to finish parking the car.

First impression to his mother, well she looks nothing like the one you imagined. You can’t believe you imagined your boyfriend’s mom as someone who will stare you down the moment she meets you. In reality, Johnny’s mom is bubbly and she welcomed you with a warm hug the moment you got out of the car. Johnny’s dad looked a lot like him and also welcomed you with a warm hug and a big smile his eyes almost disappears, “come inside, the food is ready”  

Johnny’s home is comfortable. A normal asian household in a neighbourhood in Chicago. The dinner is set at a patio in their backyard, every food you see at the table are made by Johnny’s parents. The Seos are funny people, all three of them made you laugh the whole dinner. Telling you stories about Johnny’s childhood and mostly talked about how they love their son. It’s really heart warming because you feel the level of intensity of their love for Johnny and you understand them because you love Johnny too.

“Are you enjoying The Art Institute of Chicago?” Mrs. Seo asked you as she watches you cut the cake and put a piece first on Johnny’s plate. She was watching you the whole time. How you talk to Johnny, how you smile at him, how you answer their questions with respect. She thinks you’re a natural when it comes to caring for her son and that he’s in good hands, and it gives her great relief.

“Yes ma’am, I enjoy every second of it. Though it’s hard to impress my boss and earn a permanent spot at the institute but, I’m getting there and I won’t stop” you gave her a piece too then Mr. Seo. From there on, Johnny couldn’t stop talking about you in front of his parents, he even told them how you clean your apartment spotless.

Meeting Johnny’s family was fun, they were cool parents and you’re positive Johnny got his wits from his mom. Back then you wonder why Johnny is such a gentleman to you but now you know the answer to that question. His dad is a natural sweet guy and a real gentleman. Looking at them made you think that love is real and maybe for the next 30 years that’s going to be you and Johnny.

When it’s time to go home already his parents walked you and Johnny to the car. “If Johnny doesn’t marry you I will seriously get mad” Mrs. Seo whispered beside you letting Johnny and Mr. Seo walk pass you two. You giggled at what she said to you, it makes your heart happy that she likes you. You and Johnny waved goodbye to his parents and gave them hugs before you two leave. “I told you they’d love you” Johnny holds your hand while he drives and kissed your left hand too many times because he can’t kiss you on the lips.

The moment you got back to your apartment you went straight to the bathroom and took a shower leaving Johnny at the living room couch as he rest. While you were busy taking a shower, Johnny messaged Jaehyun and sent him a picture of you and his parents laughing together over dinner.

Johnny: [attached picture] I win. This has to stop Jaehyun. I’m going to propose to her after graduation.

“hey baby, go take a shower while I finish up here” you invited Johnny inside your bathroom, accepting your offer a little too excited. You were busy brushing your teeth when Johnny made his way to the shower trying not to peak at your boyfriend’s gorgeous body. He likes singing in the shower and you love listening to his beautiful voice while you dry your hair. When he got out wet and hot, his lower body is covered with a thick towel but the bulge on his crotch is still visible. And he’s big.

Johnny stood behind you watching you put lotion through the mirror with loving eyes, “What?” you asked him, turning around to put a smaller towel on top of his head and you start drying his hair. Making sure to tiptoe so you’re able to reach him. His hands travel down to your covered ass keeping you close to his body you could smell the shower gel from his skin. Playing with the hem of your panties you smirk at him because he’s too predictable but you can tell he’s stopping himself, “put it inside” giving him consent without looking at him.

Following what you said, he squeezed and kneads both of your ass cheeks until you’re finished drying his hair. Giving him a peck on the lips and walked out of the bathroom. You turned on the lamp shade and jumped right in your comfortable bed, waiting for Johnny to get dressed but he has other plans.

“Why are you just standing there and staring at me looking so sexy with that towel wrapped around your waist. Come on, get dressed already and come to bed” you whine and watch him walk on the edge of the bed looking like a lost god inside your room.

Removing his towel in front of you, his eyes never leave yours but yours left his to look at his hard cock. “It’s not fair that I’m the only one naked here” he whispered so sexily beside your ear and eventually bitting the shell of your ear. Hands helping you to remove your shirt and panties without a rush. Pushing you down on the mattress as he spread soft kisses around your neck, shoulders and lips.

“I got tested last week”

With wide eyes you pull away from him just enough to look at him clearly and check if he’s saying the truth. “And?” your heart beats so fast as you wait for his answer, hoping for some good news.

“I think I rather show you than tell you. Hmm?”

“Fuck Johnny!” you shouted at him showing your happiness tears pooling on the corner of your eye.

“Yes, that’s what were going to do all night”

You hugged him tight until he tells you he needs air, pulling him on top of you letting him put all of his weight on your body. He’s fucking heavy but you don’t care. Too happy and excited about the great news you kiss him down to the mattress and waited for yourself to relax. Putting him under your spell as you made your way on top of him, Johnny felt cheated and quick to grab your body closer to him as he switch positions with you so easily. “Uh-uh. I’m on top, you can have second round”

His hands are quick to travel around your body, making a trail of wet kisses from your lips down to your lower abdomen. Stopping yourself to moan a little to louder because it’s been too long since Johnny touched you, only he can make your whole body sensitive. “Let it out, I love hearing you and you know that”

Big hands are caressing both of your thighs as you spread your legs in front of him so he can kneel between you. Going back to kiss your lips, putting his right arm in between your bodies, “were like virgins” you both chuckle at what he said but yours turned into a long moan when you feel him play with your slit, feeling his finger spread your juices and make your pussy more wet.

Even though foreplay is not new for the both of you, deep inside you’re both nervous. Nervous because finally tonight you two will have sex and the excitement is balling up in your bodies. Kneeling in between your legs again, Johnny moved intentionally slow and took his time with you. Thinking about how he doesn’t want to fuck you like how he fucked other girls.

He lifts your right leg gently, feeling your soft skin on his hands and placing kisses on your leg and shin. “This is the first time that I get nervous for sex… I’m just full of love for you I don’t know how to start. But oh the amount of things I want to do with you, baby” it is indeed surprising to see Johnny so nervous in bed and what he said to you made you smile beneath him.

“Don’t smile like that, you don’t know what your smile does to me” he kissed your leg again softly, placing it above his shoulders and leaning down close to you until you’re chest to chest. Johnny’s head perfectly rest on your left shoulder kissing it and your neck as he pleases. He lines his cock to your entrance pushing in slowly making you feel his veiny cock stretch your cunt for the first time. You hiss from hurt of the stretch gasping sharply as your arms swings around Johnny’s. Breathing fast and sharp near his ear, raking his soft hair as you feel all of him.

Neither of you can’t believe that Johnny is inside you. He told you how you feel so warm around him, incredibly tight and wet. How he wants to go deeper inside you but he doesn’t want to hurt you. Like you, he is breathing deeply and sharply near your ear whispering those words to you and kissing you more to tell you he means it.

While Johnny was whispering you sweet and dirty words, you focus on what you’re feeling down there and wonder how did it fit inside you. He has a big cock that’s for sure. Johnny continues to push in slowly, it’s so big you let out a soft ‘ouch’ and ‘ow’ from time to time. He loves the sound of it.

“Am I hurting you?” he stopped for a second and you nod your head breathing heavily. “Good” he said with a smirk and went back to pushing in his cock. “You sure Jaehyun fucked you good all those years?” you pinched his nipples with all your strength while you take his cock, making him whine and turned on even more. At least you made him shut up about Jaehyun.

This is it. Grunts and moans surrounds the room the moment he started rolling his hips. Kissing you to let you know how he’s getting addicted by how you feel so good around him.  

You let out the word, “big” with airy and breathy tone giving you more hard and slow thrusts so you will never forget this moment. Hitting you deep inside, he double his pace until your boobs bounce and your nipples brush on his chest making you moan louder. You reach for Johnny’s soft lips to shut yourself up and kiss him while taking those thrusts but pulling away eventually to let out a moan.

“Johnny- oh fuck! nipples, so sensitive touch them please” with no questions asked his free hand goes to your left nipple pinching it and gripping your boob just the way you like it. The position of your leg on top of Johnny’s shoulder is making you crazy, it hits perfectly deep on the spot where it feels so good.

You put your point finger inside Johnny’s mouth letting his tongue play with it until your satisfied, looking straight into his eyes as you removed your finger and transfer it in your mouth, “that’s hot” he groaned and bit your left nipple

Locking eyes with you as he put down your leg kissing you hungrily as you swing back your arms around his neck wrapping your leg around his waist. You can feel his hard abs against your stomach as he thrust still with that unbelievable pace, thinking about how hot what it is you’re doing with your boyfriend right now just simply puts you on edge.

“Johnny- huuuhh!” you call him out and part your lips, telling him that you’re about to cum as you shut your eyes and furrow your brows.

“I know baby, I know. Fuck you look so hot right now”

Both on edge and ready to let go, Johnny managed to pull away from you to grip your waist with both hands. Lifting your hips from the mattress unconsciously as he continues to give you quick and hard thrusts. “Fuck dont stop!” gripping the sheets as you let go and clench your pussy for as far as you can hold.

Watching you shiver beneath him and enjoy your high while he’s still catching for his sweet release is like an accomplishment for him. Shooting his cum inside you, Johnny whimpers loudly and moans your name with heavy breaths and sharp gasps.

You clear your throat and reach for him, “Kiss me Johnny.” As you devour each other’s lips again, Johnny’s thrust became slow and relaxed just perfect to remind you that he’s inside you still.

“Johnny, I can’t feel my legs”

That made him finally stop moving but still not pulling out. “Mind if I stay in for a while?”

Arms flying around him again to push him closer to you, loving how Johnny feels inside you. “I don’t mind baby, stay forever”

As always, you two finish the night with a lot of kisses. Soft, gentle, rough hungry kisses all night long until you two get tired and sleep naked, hands intertwined and happy that you two finally made love.    

…………………………………………. Masterlist

I told myself I will stop making Johnny fics and give chance to other members but here I go again. Forgive me, he’s not even my ult :(( haha Anyway, thank you for reading this! This has been the longest thing I’ve ever written and I will never write a love triangle fic ever again. hahahha kidding. I got the inspiration from this photo, hahaa Jaehyun looked so handsome here like ‘boi who u textin huh’

[marvelslut16]

Almost lost him

Pairing: James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes x Stark!reader 

Synopsis: Tony’s little sister had always had feelings for one James R. Rhodes. She’s kept it a secret for years, but will everything come out after he is injured during the fight against Cap?

word count: 2.4k+

Warnings: Brief cannon violence. Angst. Mentions paralysis. Swearing. Age gap. Also I have a specific age for the character mentioned. 

A/N: This has been sitting in my WIP’s for over a year because I loved it so much and I didn’t want to end it poorly lmao. I know no ones gonna read it since he isn’t a popular character, but oh well. I love this fic and I love Rhodey so that’s all that matters. 

Tony and (Y/N) Stark have saved the world from terrorists once again.

“Can you believe this title?” you laugh showing Rhodey the article on your phone. 

“I was there too,” he says gruffly. 

“You just aren’t special enough,” you tease, sticking your tongue out like you’re five and not thirty-six. 

“Not everyone’s lucky enough to be a Stark,” Tony, your annoying but lovable older brother, enters the compound’s kitchen.

Tony took you under his wing and raised you since your parents died. It was a lot for a twenty-one year old to handle, no one he knew had to take care of an eleven year old. Especially one with newly discovered powers. They weren’t much, but when emotions would get overwhelming you would have white colored beams come from your hands. This later helped Tony come up with the idea for the repulsors on his Iron Man suit, which you helped him build.

As the years passed, you got a better hold on your new found powers. The more you and Tony dug into your parents past, you started to think that your dad had either given you something when you were a baby or your mom was given something while pregnant to make you like this. Your Dad always called you special, but you never thought you were this special.

“Any progress with Steve?” you ask hopefully. You know how much Tony values his friendship with Cap, he just won’t admit it. Especially because he’s hurt. 

“No,” he grunts, but tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care. You and Rhodey give each other unamused looks, clearly not believing the bullshit Tony is trying to feed you.

“I think you should try to reach out to him again, you clearly miss him Tony,” you frown at the dark haired man in front of you.

“I agree with (Y/N/N),” Rhodey speaks up from behind you. He’s closer than you remember, and you shiver as you feel the little licks of his breath on your neck as he speaks. 

“You love birds can shut up now,” Tony rolls his eyes, he leaves the kitchen without anything. 

Heat immediately rushes to your face and you can’t look Rhodey in the eye as you stutter out an apology for Tony’s actions. You quickly leave the kitchen before he can respond, wanting to put distance between your blushing self and the man you had been in love with for years. 

-- 

You had hoped that the conversation in the kitchen would have convinced Tony to reach out and make amends with Steve and half of the Avengers. But things only continued to escalate, where it seemed a battle between friends was unavoidable. So that's how you ended up in Germany, with your newest recruit Spider-Man, facing off against the people you cared most about in this world.

“Rhodey!” you scream as you watch him plummet to the Earth. Time seems to slow to a near standstill and all you can do is watch, too far away from him to be able to help somehow. Your knees buckle and you hit the ground at the same time his body does. There's a scream that’s so loud it rattles the windows of the airport hanger, a scream you weren’t even aware left your own lips. 

Vision tries to approach you, but you let out a sound that's between a sob and a scream as he gets closer. You’re angry, and scared, you can feel a rush of something in your veins. You ball your hands in fists, bringing them to your chest as you curl into yourself. 

The sound of metal crunching together pulls you from your rocking back and forth on your knees. You see a white glow, one that you're extremely familiar with, dissipating from around two shipping containers, now crushed together where vision was hovering. If he had stayed solid, he would have been crushed. You’re shaking even more as you stare down at your hands, you had never been able to move objects before. You could have hurt somebody. You can’t dwell on it too long because Peter runs to your side, telling you that Rhodey had a heartbeat and help was on the way. 

It had felt like hours since Tony, Peter, and you had landed back down in the states. Dr. Cho was working with a spine specialist and a neurosurgeon to figure out the extent of the damage. After a while, they had updated you three, telling you that Rhodey broke his spine and they were taking him into surgery. Tony had left to go fiddle with one of his suits, his coping mechanism. He left the kid with you because he didn’t want you alone. 

“How did you two meet?” Peter breaks the silence.

“Hmm?” you look away from the painting in front of you for the first time since you sat in the waiting room chair, to look at the boy. 

“Mr. Rhodes, how did you two meet?” he clarifies. 

“That’s a long story,” your eyes glaze over as memories start to come flooding back.

“I have time,” Peter gives you a small smile, you can really see what Tony see’s in the kid. The kindness that his Aunt May has taught him is abundantly clear, you know he’s only asking for your benefit.

“He met Tony when they went to MIT together, he somehow found a way to put up with my brother's antics. I didn’t meet him until two years after Tony graduated, so I was eleven,” you let out a little laugh as you realize just how long the older man has been in your life, and in your heart. “He came to my parents funeral for support for Tony, but he became my support system. Everyone seemed to ignore me and go straight for the golden boy, but Tony became too overwhelmed quickly. He introduced me to Rhodey who was the first one, besides Tony of course, to ask me how I was. He ended up spending the entire wake and funeral with me, giving me support and effectively distracting me from my pain.”

You look over at the younger boy, who seems to be staring at you with fascination. He sees the pain on your face when you stop talking, reaching over he grabs your hand loosely. Testing the waters to see if you’ll pull away from affection like Tony has with him. You give him a thankful smile and hold his hand before continuing your story.

“He joined the military not long after that. At first I would send him care packages and letters so he didn’t feel alone when he was deployed. One day when I was writing a letter one of Tony’s flings came into the kitchen and called me a pathetic child because I was crushing on Tony’s friend after I explained what I was doing. He never got that letter, or any after that. We didn’t really talk much after that, if he came to visit Tony I’d be pleasant before locking myself in my room. I guess I was embarrassed over my school girl crush. Years passed, lots of years, before Tony went missing, James was the one that told me what happened. And in those following months he would rarely leave my side, he wanted to make sure I was okay. We were finally both adults, and we gained a real friendship.” 

“That sounds like more than a friendship,” Peter sends you an innocent look. You furrow your eyebrows at him in response, Rhodey definitely doesn’t like you back. “I’m just saying, if Liz was like that with me I would be ecstatic that she liked me back.”

“He sees me as a little sister, Peter,” your heart breaking a little more knowing that you’ll never be able to be with the man you’ve loved for years. Before Peter can refute you, Rhodey’s Neurosurgeon walks into the waiting room- some guy named Dr. Strange. 

“How is he?” you jump out of your seat, Peter quickly following suit, his hand falling from yours at the movement. 

“He’s out of surgery Miss. Stark,” his voice coming out as cocky and full of himself, like he’s overly proud that he did this surgery. “But the recovery will be the difficult part.”

“What happened? What’s still wrong? And when can I see him?” you’re shooting out questions faster than the surgeon can answer.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that with you Miss. Stark, and you can’t see him until he’s out of the ICU,” the smug look is still on the surgeon's face, making you grow angrier with each word that leaves his mouth. 

“Excuse me?” Peter looks between you and the surgeon with wide curious eyes. 

“You aren’t family,” he states matter-of-factly. “Therefore I can’t tell you and you can’t see him.”

Your eye twitches in anger as your body starts to warm, your powers start to react to the strong emotion. You take a deep calming breath, keeping you from accidentally lashing out at the surgeon. 

“I suggest you rethink that answer,” you say deathly calm, Peter stares at you in awe as you talk back to the man. “And consider who paid for all of the new state-of-the-art Stark technology and equipment you have in this hospital. Things I’m sure that you used in that surgery, that I donated to this hospital through the outreach program that I created. Technology created by both me and my brother.”

“Is there a problem here?” a man’s voice comes from behind you, he sounds irritated that someone’s making a scene. You turn around to face the man, who is wearing a badge that says medical director on it. Perfect. His eyes widen as soon as he recognizes who you are. 

“Actually there is,” you frown. “My colleague, my friend. My favorite person after my brother really, he just had a pretty big surgery, but your surgeon here won’t tell me any details or let me go see him. So yes, we have a huge problem.”

“I’m so sorry Miss. Stark,” he exclaims. “Why don’t we go update you in private.” 

“Did I sound like a bitch?” you frown, whispering to Peter as the two of you follow the MD and the surgeon. He nods a little with a smirk adorning his face. 

“But it was awesome!” you grin at the young boy, remembering the excitement you felt when you saw Tony use his name to get what he wanted for the first time. 

“He’s paralyzed,” the surgeon throws the statement around like it isn’t a big deal as soon as the four of you enter a separate room. “From the waist down. There was nothing we could do.”

Your heart and your lungs seem to stop working at the same time. Peter discreetly uses his super strength to catch you as your legs give out at the surgeon's words. Tears start to pour down your face as you realize all of the things Rhodey will never be able to again. Like never being able to help defend his country again, or chase after you when you steal the last cookie that he wanted. 

You can’t help but feel guilty. If he had never met you and Tony he would be fine. He would still be able to do what he loves. He never would have been put in that situation. He’ll never be able to walk again. He won’t have the opportunity to dance at his wedding or chase his children around if he decided to have either of those. 

“I know it’s a lot Miss. Stark,” the MD’s voice is muffled. “But there was nothing we could have done-”

“When can I see him?” you cut the doctor off. 

“I could take you to him now,” he glares at the surgeon. “He won’t wake for at least a few more hours.”

“Peter, go call Tony and tell him the update,” you look at the young boy, he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before heading back to the waiting room. 

The surgeon and the MD both ramble on about Rhodey’s condition but their voices sound muffled- like you’re underwater. You feel like you're suffocating in all the pain and grief you feel for the love of your life. He’s lying on the bed, oxygen tubing up his nose, at least ten wires connected to him, and the disgusting beep of his heart monitor reminds you how lucky you are that he’s still here with you. 

The two men quickly leave you with Rhodey, but not before the MD promises that he’ll be under constant supervision and he’ll receive the best treatments they offer. Not that you're shocked to hear that with the scene you cause in the waiting room. You grab Rhodey’s hand, careful to avoid yanking the IV in it, pulling his hand up to your mouth to give it a feather light kiss. Tears slip down your cheeks as you stare at his still body, you were so close to losing him today. 

The tears have stopped by the time Tony shows up close to an hour later, he had dropped Peter off at home before coming up to the hospital room. Your older brother looks as distressed as you feel, although he seems to be tryin to hide it more than you are. 

“How is he?” his voice is quieter than you imagined, like he’s afraid any louder will make you crumble. 

“Stable,” your voice is monotonous, and you refuse to tear your eye’s from Rhodey’s face as you respond to Tony. “About as good as he could be I guess.”

“How are you?” he cuts you off as you go to respond that you're fine. “And don’t bullshit me (Y/N/N), you’ve been in love with him since you were eleven. How are you feeling?”

You don’t respond, not with words at least. Instead you do crumble, letting out a quiet sob as you grip Tony’s hand that he was about to place on your shoulder. Tony runs his free hand through your hair and down your back, trying to soothe you like he used to when you would have nightmares after your parents deaths. 

“We almost lost him today Tony, I almost lost him-” another sob racks through your body. “And now he’s paralyzed. He can never walk again, can never defend his Country again. And for what? A disagreement between you and Steve? We could have lost him Tony for something so fucking stupid.”

Before Tony can respond, a muffled voice breaks through the tension in the room. The voice is gravely, but one you love so dearly, it’s Rhodey’s. “(Y/N)?”

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[httphopewrld]

hot summer (sneak peek pt.2)!!!

He was a boy across the street—no—an attractive boy across the street who happened to be a tattoo artist. You didn’t want to do anything about it, but your friends encouraged you to either stop sulking or make a move. And you chose the latter. 

Pairing: tattoo artist/neighbourjungkook! x female reader

Genre: fluff and smuuuuuut

Rating: 18+ because there’s some smuuuuuutttt (it’s the most detailed I’ve ever written, soooo proceed with caution) and swearing

Warnings: smut, soft sex, dom!/sub!jungkook, dom!/sub!femreader, penetrative sex without protection (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!), bullet vibrator, oral fem receiving, creampie, fingering, making out, and swearing. There are mentions of domestic violence, but it is not detailed. It is in the perspective of the reader, who is witnessing this from a distance.

Word Count: 9,000-10,000 (each because there will be 2 parts)

A/N: Uni has been a lot, so I will be post the full part 1 on Monday. Thank you so much for waiting, and for all the support and love I’ve gotten from the previous sneak peek! Here’s a little more to keep you on your toes ;)

Also, if you’d like to be on this fic’s (and future ones) taglist, comment your username, and I’ll update this fic and have your username in future fics too! 

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You looked across the traffic, into the apartment building across from yours. A boy sat back into his chair, holding a book in his hands. He began to read, of course, in a simple manner. His eyes scanned the pages, imagining the words written in his mind.

He was man, most likely, in his early twenties, but referring to him as a “man” felt odd. 

You were fascinated by him. He was good looking, even from kilometres away. If you leaned against your balcony’s rails, you could see his dark wavy brown hair, his slightly sun-kissed skin, and his all-black clothing ensemble. He wore no shirt, probably from the heat or being in the comfort of his own home. 

You stepped away from the railing and back into your apartment, drawing back the curtain and turning your back to the balcony.

How long have you been gawking at this stranger? Had he glanced up from his book and saw you standing there? 

You drew all your curtains closed, paranoid, and embarrassed. 

People crowded the city’s streets. 

The sun was out, which meant everyone became runners, joggers, and walkers. People, families, and friends came out from their hideaways and into the sunshine. You, on the other hand, sat safely on your balcony. 

Crowds made you nervous. You liked meeting people, but the thought of pushing through a dense mass of strangers made you shudder. 

So, you watched people push and brush pass each other from ten floors up, sipping at your iced tea. 

You gazed at the apartment from the other night.

It was empty. 

You could see simplistic black and white art and photographs decorating the walls and modern furniture. His bedroom is to the left, with a gaping window that allowed anyone to look in. The same applied to the rest of the apartment: big windows and no curtains. 

You sipped your iced tea. 

You could imagine this man’s wardrobe. Minimalistic shades, and maybe some pops of colour. Chunky black sneakers and dark accessories. He must’ve been an artist of some sort. 

Your phone rang. 

“Hello?”

“Y/N!” Your friend, and roommate, Ashly, chimed on the other end. “Are you busy at the moment?”

“Not at all,” you replied, setting down your drink, “what’s up?”

“I was thinking of having a get-together. There’d be wine, snacks, and music. It’d be small, maybe five people, including ourselves?” 

“You want me at your party?”

“Well, it isn’t a party—just a few girls and gossip.” 

You pondered for a moment. “Where is it?”

“The get-together?”

“Yes,”

“It’d be at our place in two weeks.” Ashly sighed. “Is that enough time, mom?”

You chuckled. “Yes, my child.”

“Awesome! We can plan when I come back from work.” 

“Okay, see you soon.”

“See ya!”

“Bye.” You hung up and looked back at the apartment. 

The boy had come back. He wore a back cap, which he quickly took off and ruffled his hair, and, like a few days ago, adorned a full black ensemble. Despite the warm weather, he had worn a black leather jacket, jeans, and sneakers. 

You watched him shuck off his jacket and toss it on the couch, and head to his bedroom. 

He, with a lack of better words, flopped onto his bed and appeared to take a nap. 

You chuckled to yourself—definitely a boy. 

.

.

It had been a week since you looked back at the apartment. 

You had just come back from work, and Ashly usually arrives back home an hour later. 

The apartment you shared with Ashly was a carbon-copy of an IKEA display. You joked about it before, saying, “if someone were to flip through a 2019 IKEA catalogue, randomly choose a page, you’d probably think our place looked the same—or you’d find one of our pieces of furniture.” 

It wasn’t a bad thing. IKEA was a popular place to shop at, and it was excellent quality. 

Your furniture was various shades of white, navy blue, grey, silver, and light brown. The colour palette continued to your cutlery, kitchen items, and your bedrooms.

The place was cozy and didn’t leave room (pun intended) for a frivolous lifestyle. 

The boy’s apartment was similar yet different. There was a sense of minimalism, like yours, but the furniture was dark—almost raven black. 

As remarked before, there were black and white photographs and inky modern furniture. There were no colours in his home, just assorted shades. 

His front door opened, and two bodies tumbled inside—his and a female. 

Their bodies entangled with one and other and gripping each other’s clothes. The female’s clothes were the first to come off, exposing her bra and lack of underwear. The boy seemed pleased because he smirked before attaching his lips to her vagina. 

You were shocked, scared, and worried all at once. You wanted to look away but found a curiosity within. 

This man—boy—didn’t appear to have any desire to shut the world out. 

You watched as this boy perform oral sex to this female—in the right way because the girl appeared to be moaning a lot—and you couldn’t look away. 

It was like watching live porn, in a weird and public sense. It was, slightly, pleasurable too. 

They took off their clothes shortly after the girl seemed to orgasm and engaged in penetrative sex. He took her from behind, against his couch. You, and whoever else stumbled upon this erotic scene, had a perfect view of their naked sides. 

“Oh, my lord,” you gasped. 

You felt the familiar tingle in your lower region. 

Realizing this, you cursed under your breath and closed your curtains. 

“What the fuck,” you exhaled, leaning forward on the dining table. 

“I just watched my neighbour have sex,” you muttered, “and enjoyed it.”

You paced the room as if giving a lecture to a child. 

“You were turned on by your neighbour having sex!” You shouted at yourself. “What the hell?! Were you fantasying? Him?! What the fuck, Y/N? Might as well be Joe Goldberg, and whip out your—”

“Y/N?”

You stopped in your tracks and turned to your front door. Ashly stood in shock. 

“Are you alright?” Her Australian accent was thick with concern. 

You smiled, “Never better.” 

She let out a pulse of nervous laughter before tossing her keys in the small dish on the kitchen counter. 

“What were you saying about Joe Goldberg? The guy from You? And why are the curtains closed?” Ashly leaned her hand against the counter, and her other on her hip. She resembled a mother about to lecture their kid about a text from a stranger. 

You chuckled.  “Nothing of importance—anyways, how was your day, Ash?”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, Y/N. You’re not escaping this one.” She walked up to you and firmly placed both her hands on her hips. “What is all this that about?”

“Look who’s the mother now,” you muttered, making Ashly raise her eyebrow. 

You inhaled a lungful of air. “The boy in the apartment across from us is having sex right now, and they’re bare-ass naked in front of their big-ass windows. I had to close the curtains because I felt like I was intruding on their sexual activity, and it was just weird that they didn’t close their own—but I feel like that boy doesn’t own any curtains—so I just closed our curtains.” You said in one breath.

Ashly’s eyes widened with shock, “What?” She walked past you and threw open the curtains. 

“Ash, don’t just rip them wide open!” You rushed over and closed the curtains. 

She glared at you before cracking the drapes a bit to take a look. “Oh, my God.” She gasped. “They are having sex.”

“Still?” You crouched down and peered through the break. 

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, “and harder than ever.” 

You both watched, only for a few seconds before closing the curtains again, the boy drill into the girl. The boy faced the windows, leaving everyone to see his face and the top of the girl’s head as she tilted it back with pleasure. 

“Well, he seems very good at what he’s doing,” Ashly commented, walking away as you closed the drapes. 

“Ash!” You said in a loud whisper as if the boy across the street could hear.  

“I’m just saying, the girl seems like she’s having the best time of her life, being pounded by that dude!” She defended.

“Jesus Christ, Ash, shut up!” 

“I’m not wrong,” she shrugged. 

You looked at her sheepishly, and you both burst with laugher. 

Both of you spent dinner recapping your days: Ashly was currently dealing with an HR (Human Resources) problem in her company—she couldn’t go into details because of confidentiality, but it had to do with a problematic employee who was spouting racist nonsense online, which could affect the company’s image; and was immorally wrong because racism and any discrimination based on sexuality, race, religion, and so on, cannot be tolerated. 

Your day and work-life were conversely dull. 

You managed finances and taxes for your corporation, and the only exciting event to date was the incorrect money evaluation from a co-worker, which lead the company to believe there was wiggle-room for spending; when in reality, they were spending too much.

You pushed the pasta around in your plate while looking at the covered windows. You watched the curtains sway in the wind. Ashly had opened the windows a few minutes ago to let the hot air out of the apartment. 

It was the hottest summer since you moved to the city five years ago, including the weather and the recently noticed neighbour across the street. 

You continued to think about him and the way he had sex with that girl. It was romantic, yet aggressive and needy. 

Fuck. You cursed. 

“Hello?” Ashly waved a hand in front of your face. “I know that HR can be boring to listen to, but please try to look interested.” 

You chuckled, “Sorry, Ash. I just zoned out a bit.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied, “but thank you for the apology.”

She sighed. “Well, I’m ready to watch some Netflix.” She looked at her watch, “And as it is almost eight o’clock, I think I’ll only be able to last for a ripe two hours until my old body starts to shut down.”

You laughed, taking both of your empty plates and cutlery to the kitchen. Ashly joined you, bringing the drained wine glasses. 

“Care to join me?” She asked while you loaded the dishes. 

“It’d be the highest honour, m’lady.” 

⋅. ✯ .⋅

Reminder:

if you would like to be on my taglist for “Hot Summer” and my future fics, please comment something like:

(ex.)

Hello! I would like to be in your taglist. My username is _____. Thank you!

Thank you!

- Mae (httphopewrld)

[spicykoreantatertots]

Camp Blue Side - Part Two

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Summer Camp AU, Non Idol AU

Rating: 18+ (eventual smut)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Swearing, angst, (more in future parts)

Summary: Last summer, sparks flew between you and Hoseok. He had an unforgettable smile, and you were putty in his hands. By the end of the summer, promises were made and you shared your phone number. But he never called. This summer, you're back at camp with a vengeance. Ghosted or not, you're ready for some friendly competition. He may be a Camp Blue Side veteran, but you won't back down.

Notes: This fic has been updated and is now part of the Summer of Love Collab! Please join us as we finish summer strong with seven summer themed fics!

Summer of Love Masterlist

Beta Readers: @thesoftsoobin

Banner: @sunshinejunghoseokie​

Camp Blue Side - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

~~~~~~~

The staff parking lot is filled with cars and this year’s counselors are celebrating each other’s arrival. Each time a new car pulls up, usually honking loudly, the group cheers. Just about everyone has arrived already, Namjoon is fiddling with his clipboard and pen. Everyone should have been here by now.

Hoseok arrived about ten minutes ago. His beat up old mazda pulled up and you did your best not to look in his direction, only stealing a glance as he exited the car. The only way to describe that man is bright. Neon green shoes, rainbow tye-dye shirt, and his dazzling heart-shaped smile. 

Somehow, he was even more beautiful than you remembered. You had spent the past school year hating him, but now he’s here, in the flesh, and you just want to feel his arms around you. You tore your eyes away from Hoseok, and you felt Seokjin’s hand on your shoulder. It grounded you back in reality.

As the final car, holding Jimin and Jungkook, pulls up, half-hearted cheers ring through the crowd. Not that you aren’t all excited to see Jimin and Jungkook, but no one likes to see an angry Namjoon. 

“Hey! It’s Jimin’s fault, okay? I even got to his place early!” Jungkook jumps out of the car, hands held defensively in front of his body. Jimin, screaming his rebuttal from inside the car, is cut off by Namjoon’s announcement. 

“Now that everyone is finally here, we will give cabin assignments and you can all get settled in before dinner.” Seokjin, standing a good two feet away from Namjoon, produces a clipboard from his backpack and begins listing off the cabin assignments. Two counselors of the same gender identity per cabin. 

Of course, you already know who your cabin mate will be this year. You’ve learned a lot of privileged information by arriving early with Seokjin. 

“Margo! Hey! We’re paired up this year in Cabin 2.” You whisper, not wanting to speak over your friend. 

“Oh hey, that’s awesome! Let’s go!” Margo picks up one of her bags and you reach to grab the other. The two of you walk off to Cabin 2, making casual small talk about the past year away from Camp. 

You were stoked to see a familiar name next to yours on the cabin list. Although you and Margo barely kept up with each other over the summer, you had gotten to know her quite well the year before. She was a first year counselor, and you were only a second year. You knew what it was like to feel alone, so you tried to take her under your wing and show her the ropes. 

She ended up being a great person to talk to about your crush on Hoseok, and well now you have a lot of tea to spill. 

“And he just... never called? Or texted?” Margo asks, eyes wide in disbelief. 

“Nope.” 

“But he’s here now.”

“Yep.”

“And you’re going to be competing against him in team competitions.” 

“Exactly.” You share a devious smile.

“This is going to be an interesting summer, isn’t it?” Your cabin mate asks with a sigh.

“You bet your ass it is.”

~~~~~~~

After Margo got her belongings unpacked and stowed away, the two of you head to the Mess Hall for dinner and to catch up with your fellow counselors. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous to see Hoseok and to have to explain to everyone why the two of you weren’t... together. 

But it appears that Hoseok may already be handling that himself. A group of male counselors are sitting at a table where he is recounting some tale, and they are all listening intently. 

You can’t quite make out what he is saying, but you spot Seokjin sitting at a different table with Yoongi and a young guy you don’t recognize. Must be Yeonjun, the new JC who will be co-leading Team One with Hoseok. You’ll be keeping an eye on him. Seokjin waves you over and Margo follows you. 

“What has he been telling everyone?” You hiss at the guys when you sit. 

“Well...” Seokjin starts and your heart begins to sink. You know that tone.

“He’s got a new girlfriend.” Yoongi says, ripping the bandaid off in one swift motion. It stings. “He’s been bragging about her to all the guys. She’s hot and they met at work, or something like that.” He adds. 

“Ah.” You try to breathe through the feeling of your stomach dropping out, and Margo pats your bag gently. You spent the past year hoping he would call, processing the fact that he wasn’t going to, and burning with righteous fury. And now... you just want to cry. 

But you can’t let anyone see you cry. Especially not here and not now. Hoseok may have hurt you, but you can’t let him know you’re in pain. 

“Alright everyone, while we’re waiting on our dinner, let’s pair up in our activity groups and get to know each other a little better!” Namjoon announces and the room begins to buzz as everyone finds the people they would be working with this summer. 

You look around for Margo’s twin brother, Mack. He is going to be your co-leader for Team Two this year. 

“Hey Y/N!” Mack says, extending his hand for a fist bump. 

“What’s up! You excited to crush Team Two and Team Three this year?” You may be over-enthusing to make sure you don’t seem... sad. 

“Yeah! I’m sure you are too. Especially to beat Hoseok’s team.” Gulp.

“I do love some friendly competition, haha.” You reply dryly. 

“Well aren’t you guys together?”

“Uh...” you pause, color draining from your face.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry. He was talking about some awesome girl he’s been dating. I only caught part of the conversation, I thought he was talking about you.” Mack, looking mortified, tries to explain himself.

“No, it’s okay. He ghosted me. I haven't heard from him since last summer.” You clarify. Mack looks so sorry he mentioned it.

“Well I guess we really do have to beat his team now, don’t we?” He says with a smirk.

While Mack makes some more small talk about the plan for the coming weeks, your eyes scan the room. Everyone is paired off in their little teams. Yoongi is with Xavier, his Music co-leader, Taehyung with his Arts & Crafts co-leader, but his eyes are across the room on the Lead Counselor in Training who is chatting with Namjoon and taking notes on her clipboard. You spot Hoseok all the way on the furthest side of the Mess Hall from you. He’s talking to Yeonjun, facing away from you and that feels intentional. 

When the cook, Heather, steps out of the kitchen with a large sheet pan full of pizza, the counselors cheer. Then they immediately run to get in line, but before they can be served, Heather goes back into the kitchen. 

“How are you doing?” Seokjin asks, lining up behind you.

“Fine, Jin. Just fine.” 

“So, not fine, then?” He quips, laying a hand on your shoulder. 

“He’s gotten ahead of the narrative.” You reply, but he gives you a puzzled look. “He’s already told everyone about a girl and now I just look... pathetic.” 

“You’re not pathetic, Y/N.” Seokjin replies, giving your shoulder a pat. 

Heather returns from the kitchen with a tray of side salads and a tray of desserts, a choice between a sugar cookie and chocolate pudding. 

Unsurprisingly, you can see that Hoseok has secured a spot at the front of the line. Against your will, you watch him closely. He grabs his pizza, two slices, grabs a side salad, and reaches for a pudding cup. Something in your stomach twists, and you just want to get out of there. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Seokjin asks, but you’re already out the door. 

You try to hold back tears as you walk toward your cabin. 

He used to give you his chocolate puddings. Who is he going to give it to now? Why would he pick it up if he doesn’t even like them. 

When you make it back to the cabin, you throw yourself onto your bunk and let the tears flow into the pillow. Seeing Hoseok has been harder than you anticipated. 

~~~~~~~

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Margo asks, tiptoeing into the cabin.

“Yeah, you should head back, isn’t everyone still hanging out?” You ask, bring your head up from the pillow. It’s dark outside already.

“Well, no. It’s kind of late. Did you eat anything?” She asks.

“Yeah, I had a protein bar.” You reply, but your stomach growls, as if to say, that wasn’t enough. Margo reaches into her bag and pulls out a package of oreos, holding it in your direction. 

You cave, holding your palm open for a handful of the cookies. Your nearly empty stomach accepts the sweet treat and settles. 

“Did everyone notice I left, they must think I’m so pathetic.” You pout. 

“You wanna know what everyone noticed?” You nod in response to Margo’s question. “Everyone noticed that Hoseok left as soon as he realized you were gone.”

~~~~~~~

CPR training is a vital part of the yearly annual counselor training. Everyone needs to know how to resuscitate and potentially save the lives of the campers. Though it is a very serious topic, it’s hard to take the CPR dummies seriously. The faceless, limbless, lifeless dolls look very much like... blow up dolls. 

“If I hear one more moan out of you guys I will dock your pay!” Namjoon shouts over the chorus of immaturity. Very suddenly, the room goes quiet, “I thought that might get your attention, now Seokjin, please continue with the demonstration.” 

“Yes sir.” Seokjin replies, holding back a smirk.

He begins pumping the inanimate heart to the beat of a song and your eyes wander to Hoseok across the room. He’s giggling and whispering something to Yeonjun. Those boys will be fierce competition. 

It’s something you thought about this morning on your run. As you were jogging on the wooded trail, you realized Mack was right, you have to do everything in your power to take Team One down. The fire of competition will get you through the sadness of Hoseok’s betrayal. And tonight, you’ll get your first shot at beating them in the game of glow in the dark capture the flag.

Standing from his kneeling position, Seokjin asks, “Alright, who is up next?”

~~~~~~~

The sun has set and the teams have been divided for a game of capture the flag. Hoseok ended up on Seokjin’s team, and although you wish you were on your friend’s team, you’re relieved you didn’t end up on Hoseok’s. 

“Okay, Y/N, you’re a runner, I want you and Ryujin to be in charge of trying to get their flag. The rest of us will try to distract their team and protect our flag.” Namjoon orders in the huddle. The huddle breaks and everyone waits for the final ray of sunlight to fall behind the horizon. 

“I’m nervous.” Ryujin whispers to you while you stretch your calves.

“Ah yeah, you probably should be.” You joke. “Listen, all you need to worry about is getting tagged. Just don’t let anyone touch you and do your best to stay hidden. If you get your hands on the flag, just sprint back to our base.”

“You make it sound easy.” She laughs.

Seokjin’s whistle sounds and you take off. Ryujin, poor girl, runs straight for the field between the two bases. A rookie mistake. You, however, have played this game before. You run to the trees on the side of the field to take cover and watch the game unfold. 

It’s hard to see, but you can just make out Ryujin’s form running around the field dodging other bodies. It looks like so far your team is doing a good job of keeping the flag safe. Namjoon tackles a member of the other team and you decide to make a run for the other team’s base while everyone is distracted. 

You can hear your heart beating in your ear as the blood rushes to your legs. You’ve almost run the whole distance of the field behind the trees when you hear something. Suddenly a pair of neon green shoes catches your eyes. Hoseok. 

Holding your breath, you take cover, crouching behind a tree and hope to god that he doesn’t come over here. If he knew it was you, maybe he would spare you both the confrontation. You count to 60, slowly, and when he doesn’t come, you decide to stand up, intending to run for their base in a hail mary attempt to win. 

But you’re cut short. Just a few feet away, Hoseok is standing, waiting. He doesn’t move at first, but after a few breaths, he takes a step, and another. You can finally make out his eyes in the darkness. It’s the first eye contact you’ve made so far.

There are no words shared between you. At this moment your mind is blank. Having your old summer fling within arms reach is overwhelming. You feel the pull to reach out to him. He’s eyes are looking directly into yours and for a moment it looks like he’s going to speak. But he stops himself, his brows furrow for a moment, and then, he runs.

~~~~~~~

After a long week of training, morning runs, avoiding Hoseok, and trying to figure out what happened between you and him during the capture the flag game, you are really looking forward to lake day. A day off from training before final camp preparations take place. The campers will be arriving in just two days. 

You are one of the first ones to show up at the beach after lunch. You wasted no time changing into your bathing suit and slapping on some sunscreen. Jungkook and Jimin, the aquatic leaders, had already arrived as well. 

Other counselors trickle in and you get to watch their interactions. It’s only been a few days, but everyone is already back into the Camp Blue Side swing of things. 

The JCs all tend to head straight for the lake, while the older counselor’s chill on the beach. You’ve opted to sunbathe for a while before cooling off in the lake. You expect Seokjin will take a spot next to you when he arrives. 

The LCT has found a spot on the sand with Yoongi and Taehyung, no surprises there. She’s delicately rubbing sunscreen on Taehyung’s back. When she finishes, Taehyung’s Arts & Crafts co leader calls him over and he puts sunscreen on her back. You’re pretty sure you can see steaming coming out of the LCT’s ears. 

Someone lets out a joyful shout as they run from the edge of the beach all the way down the dock and jump into the lake. Hoseok.

“He really is still a camper at heart, isn’t he?” Seokjin asks as he sets his towel out next to yours. 

“If you mean to say he’s a child, then I can agree with that.” You roll your eyes. He is horsing around in the water with the JCs, no wonder they all look up to him. Yeonjun, his co-leader, is trying to pull his head underwater, but Hoseok isn’t budging. 

He hasn’t changed much and it takes you back to last summer. The campers would climb all over him during lake days, and he would let them. Once the two of you had become... a thing, you would always notice that he didn’t rub in the sunscreen on his nose. It became your responsibility to make sure the lotion was rubbed in all the way. 

“Y/N, Jin! We need one more for volleyball!” Jimin’s invitation brings you back to reality. Seokjin consults you before claiming the spot. You follow him over to the net to watch the game. Hoseok is playing. 

At first, you try not to watch him, but when the game gets going, Hoseok steps up his game. He serves, he sets, he dives, it’s hard not to watch him. You notice, toward the end of the game, that Hoseok has his signature white streak across his nose. He catches you looking, but instead of looking away, you point to your nose. 

Hoseok, still looking at you, misses a ball that lands right next to him, losing the game for his team. 

“Hoseok! What the hell man?” Jimin shouts, frustrated by Hoseok’s lack of attention. 

“Sorry, sorry. I got... distracted.” Hoseok replies, picking up the volleyball. “Round two anyone?”

~~~~~~~

“All right campers, let’s give a big round of applause to Heather for cooking our dinner tonight!” Seokjin announces over the microphone. The children, hyped up on carbs from dinner, cheer loudly for the Camp chef. They all arrived just a few hours ago, descending on camp like a swarm of buzzing bees. 

You’re a bit of a nervous wreck. For some god forsaken reason, you decided that you could volunteer to give a presentation at the camper orientation, and now you’re about to have to do that. Your notecards are organized and you rehearsed your talking points with Margo twice, but it doesn’t feel like enough when there are close to one hundred people in the audience. 

“Okay, now that we’ve gone over the basic camp rules, let’s give it up for Y/N, the Team Two leader who will be discussing the team games!” Seokjin says cheerfully, stepping off the stage and handing the microphone over to you. This is it. 

“Hey everyone! Who’s excited for the team games this year?” You ask, a big smile across your face. Of course everyone, counselor’s included, cheer loudly. 

“Yeah, that's great to hear. I am also very excited. As you can tell I took a lot of notes to make sure I give you all the important info.” You joke, but there’s only a few scattered laughs. You have to tuck the microphone into your arm awkwardly so you can flip your note card over to find the right page.

“Oh well they’re out of order, so I guess...” You look out into the crowd of expectant faces. Some of the campers are already not paying attention, you’ve lost them. As always, Hoseok catches your eye. He can see you’re floundering already, and he smirks. He fucking smirks. “I’ll have to wing it.” You finish your thought and toss the notecards to the side.

You manage to get through it, even working a few jokes in here and there. And it seems like the kids are really pumped for the team activities and the competition. 

“Okay, I think next up is Jungkook with some information about water activities and lake day!” The kids cheer, the girls squeal, all too excited for Jungkook to be on stage. 

“Hey, that was pretty good Y/N!” Seokjin whispers as you step back down from the stage.

“You missed a few talking points though-” Namjoon’s critique is cut short.

“You were GREAT!” Seokjin reaffirms. 

~~~~~~~

Hushed whispers can be heard in the cabin, but it’s the first night and you’re not going to try to enforce lights out. You would probably be struggling to fall asleep either way. 

Your interactions with Hoseok thus far have been quite puzzling. He has been confusing, rude, and annoying, but what does it mean? You keep thinking about the look in his eye that night during capture the flag. You could feel a spark between you, but he almost looked pained. But he’s the one who caused your pain. 

Maybe he’s just trying to get under your skin to make sure his team wins. Well tomorrow is day one of camp, and you’ll be damned if you let him win.

~~~~~~~​

[cali-holland]

Golden Bullets, Epilogue

Harrison Osterfield X Reader, James Bond!AU

Harrison Osterfield, Agent 007, was once the best MI6 agent around with the astounding reputation as a womanizer. Between illegal gold smuggling and black market trading of weapons, he finds himself deeper in his latest mission than intended, weaving himself into a web of the criminal organization, S.P.E.C.T.R.E.. At the center of it all is the one woman who’s never fallen for his charms- you, Agent 006, the best MI6 agent, the new assistant director of the program, and his new partner.

Word Count: 1200

Gif is not mine ~ is it from the greatest showman though??

Golden Bullets Masterlist

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes

~~~

The chime of the elevator arriving to its floor rang out through Harrison’s ears, and he slowly stepped out into the hall. Leaning on his newly acquired black cane, he walked down the familiar hallway to Q’s lab.

“You look like shit.” Tom commented as soon as Harrison stepped into the room.

“Nice to see you too.” He replied. “Anything new for me?”

Tom let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “You’re not in the field anymore, remember? M would have my head if I give you a new gadget.” There was a pause between the two of them as Harrison didn’t know what to say, just looking down at the table of blueprints and computers. “I know why you’re here.”

“And any updates?” Harrison asked.

“You know as much as I do.” He said, “M has been quiet about it, even Moneypenny doesn’t know.”

“I just would’ve thought we’d know something by now.” He mumbled.

“We? Or you?”

Tom’s words made Harrison go silent again, and he turned around to leave the room. He stumbled a bit, still getting used to his cane. Tom called out to him just as he reached the elevator, “Cuba. Last I heard.”

Harrison stepped back into the elevator, leaning against the cool metal as the doors shut once again. He sighed, closing his eyes in hopes of finding some peace. His free hand ghosted over the stitches on his hip from the bullet wound.

If someone would’ve asked him two months ago where he thought he’d be in his life, he wouldn’t have said here. No, he would’ve never even guessed that he’d be anywhere near this physical and mental state. He didn’t feel like an agent anymore, he didn’t feel like a famed womanizer; he just felt lonely.

It had been one and a half months since his last mission ended, since he got shot when trying to protect you from Oddjob’s bullets, since he was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery, since he saw you. You had stayed by his side until he went into surgery, but once he came to, all patched up and okay again, you were gone, vanished without a trace.

The original rumor going around MI6 was that you went awol, mia, rogue. Those rumors still lingered, but then it got out that you had been corresponding with M, on a special top-secret mission. Moneypenny, M’s most trusted assistant, and Tom, M’s most trusted genius, didn’t even know. Harrison hadn’t even heard from you, not truly. All he had was a “wish you were here” postcard from Venice and that didn’t even have a message on it except for a small 006 written in the corner.

For the past few weeks, his life had been full of readjustments. The MI6 physician had barred him from any field work, placing him on temporary leave. He was supposed to keep exercise to a minimum, which was why the only time he got out was when he journeyed to Q to ask him the same question once a week.

When Harrison got back to his apartment, it felt colder than usual as if the window was open, and he never left the window open. He clutched his cane tighter, finger hovering over the trigger button that would turn the simple object into a knife, one Q had designed for him for protective measures. Slowly, his eyes scanned his dark living room before flicking on the light.

Nothing seemed out of place.

Nothing except for the new “greetings from Havana” postcard sitting on his coffee table.

Smiling to himself, he eased up as he saw the recognizable “006” in the corner. He toyed with the postcard in his hand, making his way over to the open window across the room. The moment he shut and locked it, he heard a creak in the floorboards down the hall in his bedroom.

He set the postcard back down on the coffee table on his way through the living room and down the hall. He stepped into his bedroom, turning on the light in the process. Just as he was about to go check further in his apartment, he noticed a new object in his room. In the armchair in the corner of the room sat a familiar hat- the hat of Oddjob, and peaking out from under the hat was a golden gun.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get a martini around here?” He heard a voice from behind him. “Shaken. Not stirred.”

Smirking, Harrison turned around. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

He barely got the words out before your lips were on his for a passionately tender kiss. Harrison dropped the cane to wrap both of his arms around your waist. Your lips pulled away from his, “I told you I’d kill Oddjob. Sorry it took so long.”

“Anytime away from you is too long, angel.”

“I’m glad to see you haven’t changed.” You smiled, but the playfulness dropped when your hand brushed over the wound. Your fingers felt the scarred skin, still recovering from the bullet, as his own fingers traced over your old bullet wound. You whispered quietly to him, “So now you know what it feels like to get shot.”

“It’s a feeling I never want to experience again.” His hand trailed up from your hip to cup the side of your face.

“Me neither. I know that you can handle yourself, but you really scared me that night.”

“That’s the job, love. I’m fine now.” He reassured you with a smile. You raised your eyebrows at him, pressing harder on the wound and he winced, grabbing your hand to take it away from his skin.

“Fine, huh?” You teased, bending down to grab the cane off the floor.

“Fine.” Harrison replied. As he went to take it from your hands, he noticed the cut through your jeans and the gash on your leg, running down the side of your shin. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing.” You insisted as if it was a simple scratch. With his cane, Harrison made his way over to his bathroom, getting out the first aid kit. You sat down on the bed, already knowing what he’d ask. He sat on the edge with you, pulling your leg over his lap.

“Did Oddjob do this to you?” He asked, moving away the torn material of your jeans to apply disinfectant to your wound. When he finally got a good look at it, he realized it wasn’t very deep and the blood hadn’t fully dried yet. “I thought you were in Havana. How is this wound so fresh?”

“Let’s just say I won’t be climbing through the window anymore.” You watched with a smile on your face as confusion crossed Harrison’s face before he was struck with realization and that signature smirk played on his lips.

“My window did this to you? Wow, 006, you’re really slipping up.” He teased, wrapping your leg with a bandage.

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes at him, unable to hold back your smile. “I will beat you with your cane if you tell anyone at MI6 about this.”

“Oh, will you now?” Harrison asked, pressing down onto your cut and you grimaced, just as he had earlier.You shoved his hand off you and scooted closer to him, your faces just mere inches apart.

“You’re the worst, Osterfield.” You laughed, your eyes trailing from his eyes to his lips as you leaned in closer to him.

Just before your lips met his, he mumbled, “Yeah, you’re pretty insufferable yourself, Y/L/N.”

“Dickhead.” You playfully slapped his chest. Harrison just chuckled before his hand came to the back of your head, leading your lips to his. He deepened the kiss, and you shifted fully into his lap, mindful of both of your wounds.

“You’re the best partner I could’ve asked for.” He said softly, his lips barely leaving yours as he spoke.

“I know.” You smiled before continuing to kiss him. Both of you were more than content to be back in each other’s arms.

~~~

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read this series and supported me throughout it! I’m sad it has come to its end, but I hope you’ve all enjoyed it as much as I have! Lots of love, Sammy!

~~~

General Tag List: @viagracex​​​ @theamazingtomholland​ @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart​ @joyleenl​ @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​ @sunkisseddreamer​ @holandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @gorillaglue23​

Harrison Tag List: @Calhtlland @tomkindholland​ @where-art-thau-romeo​

Series Tag List: @quinjetboi @baby-haz @kickingn-ames @rougese7en @hollandsosterfield @nj01​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes @spencerreidxoxo @duskholland

[niall-the-churchboy]

The Better One - pt 2 ~ Louis Tomlinson

In which she finally knows she’s enough.

Pt1 is here

Warnings: Swearing and kinda angsty

Word Count: 1500

Y/n had grow up with a bunch of stuff that meant absolutely nothing. She had her own room, her own clothes, but all she had really wanted was to be heard at the dinner table. So, when she was eight, she came up with the idea of jokes. She had never been the funny type, but she believed that if she made them laugh they would at least listen to what she had to say. It worked, for a year or so, and then they eventually became tired of it. She then tried arts and crafts, if her family could see she was good at it they would pay more attention, but again it didn't really work. Eventually, she decided that the only way her parents would pay attention to her was if she got good grades, and that's how it began. Massive amounts of work, almost perfect grades, and a lot of pressure in herself. 

All Y/n had ever wanted was to matter, and when Louis came, she didn't even have to try. Louis had been everything to Y/n, her motivation; her rock; the bare reason she smiled. It’s needless to say that when he left, when he chose better than her, everything crumpled.

When she flew back, she took less than an hour to pack her things in a suitcase, and another thirty minutes to take in every single detail of the apartment. She knew it was bad for her, but there was nothing more she wished than to have Louis back with her; hanging christmas lights on the christmas tree days before the trip, maybe convincing him that it was better to stay here, in their cosy apartment as they drank hot chocolate. That's when she remembered, one hand tightly secured in one of the suitcase’s straps, that it was christmas. 

------------

It took two weeks to find a new apartment in the heart of San Diego, out of LA but still close enough so whenever she wanted she could go back and remember the golden times.

But life in San Diego was one full of misery. Y/n L/n, the girl that used to be so organised and so perfect, was long gone replaced by one who stopped caring. She finally understood that if no one care about her, why should she? She was boring and dull, not intelligent neither beautiful, she was not enough. 

Her money became scarce, so she began to eat less, and when the pennies finally finished she moved apartments to an old filthy one while she worked at a coffee shop. If she wasn't a disgrace now, then, what was she?

“Happy first day of summer, Y/n!”, her coworker, a girl with violet hair named Emma, greeted her. 

Summer. Had it really been half a year without Louis? The word suddenly had a new meaning, and soon every word would turn out to be just the same.

What Y/n didn't expect was to come home from work--her t-shirt stained with coffee-- and find Avery siting on the small couch. It was such a shock her bag fell from her shoulder earning the attention from Avery. 

“Y/n!”, Avery came running towards Y/n, a huge smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around her sister’s small frame. 

“I- what are you doing here?”, it felt strange looking at Avery, she wore clean skinny jeans and had her hair perfectly curled and... Avery was pregnant, hugely pregnant.

��Guilt came rushing in and Y/n could now only tilt her head down and apologise. How dare she not be there for her sister?

“I looked for you everywhere!”, Avery replied watching as her sister picked up the bag and rushed to the small open kitchen, “And now I finally found you! I-”, Avery looked around, “Your apartment was unlock so I figured I would let myself in. At first I didn't think this could be your apartment but then I saw our picture and...” Y/n turned to look at the picture laying on the counter, a trip her whole family did a long time ago, Y/n was probably twelve at the time. 

She looked down, saw the coffee stain and opened the sink tap. “I am really sorry, Avery”, she said as she tried to scrub the stain away, “I was working and I spilled coffee all over my shirt and...”, she looked around her apartment, had she cleaned the floors this week? And the pillows on her couch had not been flattened out, everything was a mess. “I am really sorry for this huge mess, I swear It’s not like this usually”, it was a big lie but Y/n didn’t know what else to say. 

Finally giving up on her shirt she run to the small living room at the corner of her open apartment, flattened the pillows and picked up a left glass that was laying on the coffee table, “Please, Avery. Take a sit”, Y/n gestured to the couch and rushed back to the kitchen, “Would you like anything to eat? I’m not sure I have many things in the fridge but there's a marketplace down the street and I could go buy you something right now”, Y/n felt her eyes burn.

“Y/n, calm down, its okay”, Avery was surprised to see her younger sister in this state, realising how thin Y/n looked, “please sit down next to me.” Y/n was unsure, she knew the adequate thing was to invite her sister to eat something, but she was tired and all of a sudden she felt helpless. “I’ve missed you so much”, Avery cupped Y/n’s hands, examining at how her younger sister would nod her head shyly, not daring to look at her. 

“I’ve missed you too, and I’m really sorry I-”, Y/n lifted her head and fixated her eyes on her sister’s tummy, “I wasn’t there. I should have been, I didn’t have any right to disappear.”

“I called you a million times”, Avery said, a frown forming in her face as she watched Y/n’s tears run down, “mom did too, but you never answered. For a moment I thought you were--”

“--No”, Y/n didn't let Avery finish, she looked at her sister so vulnerable for the first time ever, “I don't know why I did that..., I’m sorry. I just thought that it was better if I stopped getting in-between people’s lives. I only wanted what was best for you, mom and dad, and Tessa and Louis...”, the last words where barely audible. 

“To hell Tessa!”, Avery raised her voice, “and Louis! Look at you Y/n, living here; working at a coffee shop; barely standing on your legs... What about you? Why didn’t you think about what was better for you?”

“Why should I care?!”, Y/n stood up from the couch, tears--no streams-- running down her face, her legs shaking slightly as she looked at a worried Avery, “Why should I care? No one ever did, and that's alright. I’m fine with that, I learned how to be fine with it.” Y/n sighed, a weary breath escaping her lips, “and you should stop worrying, Avery. Everyone is okay, I’m perfectly fine, you’re pregnant! And Tessa is happy with Louis--”

“--Tessa and Louis broke up”, Avery mumbled, aware of the fact that Y/n had to grab the back of the couch to sturdy herself.

“Why?”

“She came home two months ago, angry as ever. It seems that she wasn't what Louis expected her to be...”, Avery shook her head, “but it doesn't matter, I’m so done with Tessa and her stupid ego.”

“Don’t”, Y/n licked her lips, her heart clenching, “don't say that, you know it's not true, Tessa is--”

“--Tessa is bad and cruel! She stole your boyfriend for fucks sake! She had always been mean toward you! How are you not angry about this?!”, Avery couldn't understand how could someone be so empathic that had completely stop thinking about itself. “When did you turn into this?”

Y/n sat down again, brushed down her tears and tried to smile, “I think I’ve always been like this, I just used to be better at hiding it. I’m sorry.”

“Stop blaming everything on you. It harms you, can’t you see?”, Avery cupped her sister’s face, Y/n closing her eyes at the warm feeling of Avery’s hands. “And I know you probably think that you are not enough, but that’s a lie. You are beautiful Y/n, inside out, you are talented, and unique, and you are my sister. I care about you, I’m sorry for whatever reason that made you believe I didn't, but I’m telling you now, I care about you. And I know that a hole bunch of people do too, because that’s what you do, you are lovable.”

Sometimes, what you need are just words to make thing slightly brighter, to give you a small push in the right direction. Now, Y/n wrapped around her sister’s arms, knows she’s worth it, and whatever made her feel otherwise has to get out of her way now, because the true golden times are just about to begin. 

-------------------------------

Yeah, this was shit, I'm sorry I just thought I should at leats update something. 

Masterlist is here

[suchdan-veryphil]

I’ll Be In Touch- A Dad!Ben Solo Imagine

Request:

Anonymous said: hi idk if ur taking requests atm but i absolutely loved ur dad ben solo fic i always re read it. Could u do another dad!ben solo where he’s like a single dad and the reader is his child’s teacher and he gets all flustered at a parent teacher conference cos he’s like woah?? thank uu

Word Count: 1,976

Trigger Warnings: I don’t even think there’s swearing here. Pure floof.

A/N: I LOVE DAD!BEN SOLO !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST! Also I’m trying my best to make some of these more gender-inclusive. If there is anything that I can do better, please let me know! 

--------------

Ben’s POV: 

If it were up to me, I’d get a long note in the mail about how Maya is doing in class. But, here I was waiting on the world’s smallest chair to meet with her teacher. I looked around and down the hallway, the walls covered with drawings and pieces of art by the children. Curious, I stood up and walked across the hall to look at the hand turkeys on the wall. 

I looked closer at all of them, looking for Maya’s name on one. When my eyes landed on it, I knew it was hers. The black scribbles covered the page and she decorated it in blue and purple stars. My lips curled into a smile as I compared it to the other kids’ pieces that were splashed in neat bright colors. I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped me. 

Definitely my kid. 

I was brought back to where my feet were by the sound of a couple being escorted out by Maya’s teacher. 

“Thank you, guys! I’ll see you at the family game night!” their voice was soft and gentle, but also full of excitement, catching my attention. I turned to face them, knowing my time-slot was next. 

I looked down expecting to see a 72-year-old grandmother hunched over a cane, wearing some reading glasses. I was pleasantly surprised as my eyes were met with a young adult, shorter than me, with a smile that blinded me. I felt a pull at my chest that I hadn’t felt since I met Maya’s mother 8 years ago. I stayed quiet as I walked closer, unsure of what I would even say. I forced a smile that I’m sure came out as more of a grimace, and I instantly regretted it. Rarely did I leave my house except to go to work and go shopping with my spunky 5-year-old so human interaction was not my specialty. 

“Mr. Solo? Maya’s dad, right? Come on in!” They turned to walk into the classroom and sit behind their desk. I looked around at the walls and tiny tables, all decorated in bright colors, broken crayons, and welcoming feelings. 

“Take a seat! Make yourself comfortable,” 

I sat in the only other adult-sized chair in the room across from the person who hung out with my kid 5 days a week. 

“Mr. Solo-” 

��Ben, you can call me Ben,” I cleared my throat as I crossed my ankle over my knee and made my best effort to make eye contact with them. They smiled at me and nodded. 

“Ben, thank you. You can call me Y/N, then. Thank you for being on time, a lot of parents are rolling in here five or ten minutes late,” they smiled at me and pulled a folder off of the top of a pile. 

“Oh, yea- well I usually try to be a few minutes early to everything to avoid … being la- being late...” I mentally slapped myself as I cleared my throat. 

Idiot... Just focus on Maya.

I watched as they smiled and nodded at my comment. “That’s a sturdy plan, Ben. So, I guess I’ll start with Maya’s strengths in the classroom and then we can move into some challenges and any questions that I have or that you have, okay?” 

I nodded and leaned in as they opened the folder and took out a few worksheets. “So, in kindergarten reading levels is really what we focus on and Maya is a very strong reader. I can see her moving into the first grade level before the year is over!” They took out two pieces of paper from the folder and placed them in front of me. 

“She loves reading non-fiction, and she will memorize a book before she puts it down,” Y/N said as they chuckled a little. I smiled and nodded, knowing exactly what they meant.

“Yea, well, I blame myself for that. I did the same thing when I was little. I still do it sometimes, it’s weird. But, there are lots of useless facts up here, thanks to that weird …. thing …” I stopped myself and laughed a little as I read over Maya’s reading scores. I couldn’t prevent the smile of pride that spread across my face as I read the comments on her persistence and positivity. 

“Well, I personally don’t believe in useless facts, Mr. So-Ben,” 

I looked up and smiled at them before I put the paper back on the desk. 

“Her math is a little bit more of a challenge for her, I’ve noticed. She wants to know, and she wants to learn but I find that when she doesn’t understand after a few tries, she gets frustrated and needs to take a break, which is completely encouraged except she doesn’t want to return to the task at hand.” 

I nodded my head and shifted in my seat a little bit.

Stop fidgeting, they’re gonna think you’re weird. 

Focusing back on Y/N, I looked at the papers they were showing me. They continued to go into detail about how Maya is a great student and that she just needs help with being persistent. Although, I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t also have a short fuse at times. I was fully aware of how similar my daughter and I were, from our temper to our preferred activities but I was proud of myself and of her. 

“How is she doing socially?”  I asked and sat back. 

“She is thriving socially, Ben. Your daughter is the cutest little munchkin in the mornings. She stands right where you’re sitting and she’ll greet every single one of her classmates by name. She’s quite the charmer.” 

“Really? That’s too funny. She talks about her two best friends, Jordan and Tia. She told me how she likes to sit with Tia on her right and Jordan on her left because the two of them like to talk to each other and she doesn’t want to be distracted, so she separates them,” I chuckled at the thought of my 5 year old plopping herself between two other tiny humans to prevent them from distracting her from the coursework. 

“Oh Tia and Jordan. The three of them are something else. I had to separate those two one time and Maya has taken it upon herself to be the peacekeeper ever since. It’s very sweet. It seems like you’ve got quite the leader on your hands,” Y/N smiled as the words flowed.

It was refreshing to talk to someone who wasn’t my mom about Maya. I truly had a lot of pride in the way I’ve been raising her despite my struggles. To hear that she was doing well and was a pleasure to have in class took a weight, that I wasn’t even aware I was carrying, off of my shoulders. 

“That’s Maya...” I trailed off and bit my lip as I thought about it. 

“Did you have any questions for me, Ben?” They asked as they began to pile the papers back into the folder. 

“Um...” suddenly every question that I had for Y/N was gone. I sighed and shook my head. ‘They’ve all left me,” 

They chuckled and nodded their head. “That’s okay. Do you want to take down my cell number? Some parents use it for really urgent questions or updates on their kiddos during a hard day,” 

For some reason, I could feel myself get giddy over the fact that they were offering me their personal number. 

Don’t freak out, they just said that other parents have it, too. Get it together, Ben. 

“Sure, that would be very helpful. You don’t mind if I text you if I remember those questions?” 

“Not at all, that’s what I’m here for,” 

It took me a second, but I finally went fumbling for my phone to take the number down. I handed it over so that they could just plug it in and I could save it. When I got it back, I noticed that they had texted themselves a quick message saying, “Ben Solo’s number”. I slid the phone back into my pocket, trying to hold back the smile that was beginning to pull at my face. 

“Perfect, so uh... did you have any questions for me?” I asked, unsure of what to say now.

“I don’t at the moment but if I think of anything, I’ll shoot you a text,” They seemed so confident when they spoke, which was not helping my growing-by-the-second crush on them. 

“Perfect, so then I’ll be in touch. Thank you, Y/N,” 

“Of course, any time Ben.” With that, they handed me the folder with Maya’s work in it and smiled as they stood with me to escort me out. 

“Talk to you soon,” I mentally slapped myself again. I really couldn’t just shut up for an entire thirty seconds. 

“I sure hope so. Have a good night and tell Maya I said hi,” they stopped at the doorway and bit their lip gently as I turned to face them. I wasn’t sure if I was being flirted with so I just smiled and waved. 

The entire ride home, all I could think about was how absolutely ridiculous I must have sounded during that entire twenty minute meeting. I also questioned whether or not we were flirting or if they were just the nicest person on the planet. 

I parked in the driveway and as I turned off the engine, I could see Maya run out to the front yard. 

“Daddy! You’re home!” 

I smiled wide and climbed out of the vehicle to meet her. She continued to run towards me and I picked her up as soon as she got close enough. 

“I miss’t you daddy,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. 

“I missed you, too, ewok,” I squeezed her a little to let her know that I meant it before looking over to see my mom standing with her hands on her hips. 

“She is exactly like you were as a child, stubborn and charming.” 

I smiled and nodded my head as I walked towards her, Maya still snugly hanging onto my body. 

“I know, but where do you think that I got it from?” 

“Your father,” Mom didn’t miss a beat, and I didn’t argue with her. “How was your meeting?” 

I suddenly felt awkward again as I recalled my interaction with Y/N. “Fine.” 

“How’s our little one doing in school?” 

“Nana I am doin’ amazing, I read and I write,” 

“And she needs help in math, isn’t that right kid?” I looked at her with a small smile before I kissed her cheek and started walking into the home. 

“Well that’s good. I’m sure she’ll be fine.” My mom held the door for me and Maya before making her way to the kitchen. “I was just finishing up dinner,” 

I sat on the couch with my little rebel and rubbed her back as she sat contently with me. My phone chirped in my pocket and I reached in to grab it before it went off a second time. Confused, I took a hard stare at it. 

Y/N: I have a question. -5:23PM

Y/N: Are you free next weekend? -5:23PM

I didn’t even realize what my face was doing until Maya poked my cheek. “Daddy, you’re happy! Who is that?” 

I locked my screen and put my phone down calmly before I shook my head. “A friend, sweetie, that’s all.” 

“Do they want to eat dinner with us?” 

I laughed a little and shrugged. “I don’t think Nana made enough for that many people, maybe another time.” I chuckled and rested my cheek on top of her head, just thinking about Y/N and asking myself how in the galaxy did they not find me absolutely weird. 

But, I wasn’t complaining.