#that's is I'm killing myself
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People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ
#anyway I'm sad#I even offered to move it myself yesterday and was told they couldn't find him#and then this morning apparently they did find him and just killed him immediately#it's just a little snake! he was outside!#they aren't venomous!
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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the threshold has been crossed, it is now springtime!!
#sergle art#artists on tumblr#illustration#body posi#fat art#body positive#stretch marks#heey it's chboy. skinny penits. i haven't killed myself i SWEAR. i'm still in my cave and i still draw#i hope you like the pieces because i really liked doing the more stylized flowers on the first two#like that actually gave me so much enjoyment doing the flowers that way on miss blue hair
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adding something to my "adult advice that i had to discover for myself either because no one told me or when i saw adults do it as a kid i couldn't possibly understand," featuring such hits as "grill sandwiches with mayo" and "almost no quality matters more than flexibility," and it is:
clean your house before a vacation because returning to an already clean house is waaay better than sex
#i killed myself last week cleaning and doing tanks and now I'm wandering around the house with a pleasant white boy smile#like ahh...ahh! ooh! ahh. so nice. hooray :-)#m2a#maybe this is obvious but that's the point of my adult wisdom list#which also includes: driving faster on a road trip will make you get there sooner
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Doctor prescribing antidepressants: so this medication can cause side effects such as memory loss, seizures, eating disorders, stomach issues, rashes, fatigue, and could actually make you want to kill yourself even more. This is perfect for you
Doctor prescribing pain meds: Are you sure you don't want to try diet and exercise first? These pills are so bad for you. Yeah technically the list of side effects for this pain medication is a lot shorter than it is for your other medications, but the thing is, they might make you TOO happy. And we hate addicts. I just think destroying your stomach lining and liver with 2000mg acetaminophen and 1600mg ibuprofen per day would be a lot safer, because you definitely don't want "happiness" as a side effect of medication. Not being in pain and being happy is just too addictive and addiction is bad.
#.bdo#my pain medication does help with my focus and my mood a lot too#i mean yeah I'm happier when I'm not in pain lol#my pain medication keeps me from wanting to die unlike the SSRIs they gave me that made me damn near kill myself
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a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
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i miss them......please come back........please come home :((
#this one goes out to the ten knkdz stans left on bsd tumblr wya#ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DRAWN THEM I MISS THEM SO BAD :(((#please......i dont knkw how much longer i can take this.......please come home to me......#i'm literally experiencing withdrawal symptoms they've been apart for like SEVEN years#ALSO I KEEP FORGETTING KUNIS GLASSES IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF ISTG IT DOESNT REGISTER IN MY BRAIN FSR😭😭😭😭😭😭#also one thing i noticed while coloring this is how nicely their outfits compliment each other. husbands fr <3#sry if the art style is different in every drawing i drew these all weeks apart💀#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws
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what cipher has done to my hands
#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#ford pines#billford#maybe?#idk#ermmmm anyways i just wanted to draw bloody knuckles 🤒#and also i love love love this excerpt from the tbob i think about it literally all the time#it haunts my every waking moment#'i hope f's gloves will hide what cipher has done to my hands'#like???? are you crazy?????#i'm killing myself asap#this was from a magma doodle that i cleaned up but i think i lost the original vibe 💔 this feels really stiff to me idk#BLEGH feeling. crazy.#okay bye#mods art#mods draws#my art
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First friend
for the AU where Gon was raised on Greed Island instead of Whale Island.
More info on it here
#greed island gon au#killua zoldyck#gon freecs#hxh#hunter x hunter#killugon#greed island#this comic pacing would be better with a new page but 3 pages already killed me#i cry about it a lot but i'm do feel proud of myself. May i have the strength to do more colored comics in the future
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Flower Empowered.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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9-1-1 – 8.06: Confessions
#911 abc#cinematv#filmtvcentral#smallscreensource#dailyflicks#userstream#dailykinley#bucktommy#tvarchive#userthing#userlauren#userabs#maxtracks#userspicy#otpsource#tvedit#tvandfilm#filmtvtoday#usersource#chewieblog#ily my sassy king <3#god i'm weeping over their playful domestic banter :')#you know it's love because he shared his dessert#killing myself <3#8x06
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the confession scene but it starts with castiel saying, "i'm out of minutes, dean,"
#killing myself#god they should've used the out of minutes thing#i KNOW it was said as a joke but they could've used it for so much fucking evil#THEY COULD'VE MADE IT MEAN MORE#i'm almost out of minutes#i'm out of minutes#LIKE#ARGHHHH#because. to castiel? he is millions of thousands of years old. to him the years he spent with dean and sam and jack#they were minutes to him#and now he's out#NOW HE'S OUT OF FUCKING MINUTES#sjonnie.text#spn#supernatural#destiel#deancas#castiel
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I'm Killing Myself!, Alina Maliszewska, 1975
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the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you
#i genuinely genuinely don't understand how everybody who tries to date hasn't killed themselves yet#I'm not saying they should I'm just saying I don't get how they're able to continue on#i see women on social media talking about how they had to cry for a day because they slept with a man they'd been seeing for a while and#then he never called again#no joke not trying to be dramatic I would just kill myself??? i do not understand how people can keep going after something like that#i mean I would never be in that situation because everything about it is bad but like. still#I hate to kind of agree with the 'women over 25 are too bitter for love' twitter man even in a very roundabout way#but i think men AND women participating in modern dating culture have to in some way become so hardened and kill some part of themself#just to survive??? that sounds so melodramatic but like. I can't understand how else people could continue to function as human beings#when they interact with each other in the way modern dating culture dictates
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As Good as Good Gets (DP X DC Snippet)
Richard "Dick" Grayson is the golden child. In the eyes of the public, and in the eyes of the league. Dick is a sweet, caring son, a man who went from being a sidekick to being a hero. The pipeline from Robin to Nightwing had many people applauding his dedication to keeping Gotham safe.
No one knew the full story, not truly. No one but Bruce Wayne himself. And maybe a certain butler. Many don't know that Dick only became Robin to stop him from hunting down and killing the man who killed his parents.
No one really knows about the harsh fights and arguments he has had with Bruce. The times when Dick would find himself cut off from the Wayne name for a week or so. No one knows that the first person Dick warmed up to was Alfred. Having been bribed with cookies.
Things weren't always this good, trusting, happy relationship between Bruce and Dick. It had been a rough ride, a complicated one. But that was okay, because it got better.
Dick stopped being so moody and angsty. He grew up, he learned, and he changed. He became an older brother, found people that needed him. Needed him in a way that the citizens of Gotham didn't need him.
His brothers like to call him annoying. A goody two shoes who Bruce trusted more than everyone else. They couldn't fathom how someone like Dick could be so stupid and bubbly at all times.
All times, except when shit hits the fans. Despite the name calling, despite coining Dick as the stupid Wayne. They all knew better. They knew that when it mattered, Dick Grayson always pulled through. He was a force to be reckoned with when needed.
The whole Wayne family was a force to be reckoned with when called for. It didn't have to be under the guise of costumes and vigilante acts. Whether he was Officer Grayson or Nightwing, Dick was a man with his morals and values.
One night on patrol as Officer Grayson, Dick found someone who needed that force. A force willing to protect and care for the innocent. The hurt. The damaged, yet still good.
It started like any other night. A call of shots fired by an empty warehouse. There was no sighting or knowledge of any rouges being there, so Dick took the call. Told the team he'll contact them if it seems more than just a civilian incident.
The warehouse was dark, reeked of copper and oil. It didn't take long for Dick to find the trail. The liquid he found looked like the person had been dragged before walking. There was a clear struggle, even with the mess and emptiness that was the warehouse.
That wasn't Dick's biggest concern. The concern lay in just how much blood there was. Too much for any normal person to lose and still manage to stumble through the warehouse.
It wasn't just blood. It wasn't that much, but Dick could spot the strangeness in the liquid. The mixed in green that had an eerily similar color and glow as a certain pit.
Without thinking, Dick followed the trail. Barely remembering to make contact with his family. Give them an update on what he found. Words telling him to stay put for backup went in one ear and out the other.
Something in Dick's gut was telling him he couldn't wait. He needed to find the source. Whoever was currently bleeding out in this warehouse. He silenced the comm, moving further through the dimly lit building.
Then Dick found it. Or more so, he found him. It was just a boy. A boy that reminded Dick too much of the youngest Wayne. A boy sat against a wall, looking pale and weak.
Red and green coated the front of the boy's shirt, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. An attempt to stem the bleeding. A puddle had already started to form beneath the boy, and Dick moved without thinking once again.
He quickly found himself kneeling beside the boy, hands carefully reaching out. Before Dick even touched him, the boy flinched. Eyelids suddenly opened, wide and terrified blue eyes landed on Dick's.
In just that one look, Dick knew what he had to do. The haunting, terrified, and pained look in the boy's eyes told Dick everything he needed to know. The boy was in danger. Someone had hurt this kid, and it was clear it wasn't the first time.
The boy struggled weakly against Dick's touch, terrified whimpers, and barely coherent pleas spilled from the kid's lips. It had Dick's heart aching, clear as day the poor kid has been through hell and back.
It took a lot of reassurance, gentle touches, and promises of help before the kid let Dick take a look at the bleeding wound. A promise on Dick's soul had been the final thing that earned him any semblance of trust. A strange promise, but Dick was willing to make it.
That concern turned to pure anger the moment Dick managed to pull the sticky shirt away from the wound. The sight of a Y-incision cut perfectly into the skin, stitches tight on the skin, but blood still leaking heavily from the wound.
It didn't take long for Dick to realize why. Despite the perfect surgical care of the wound, a good couple of stitches had broken. Leaving gaping spots for that red and green liquid to pour out of.
The boy was deathly silent, tears streaking down his cheek as wide blue eyes stayed trained on Dick. In that moment, Dick knew he had to help. Had to get the kid to safety, patch him up, and find out what kind of monster would do this.
It didn't matter if the kid was human or not. It didn't matter if the kid had special abilities or not. No one, absolutely no one, deserved to be vivisected.
The kid was shrouded in mystery, but that mystery only seemed to grow and become clearer when Bruce had entered the scene. The boy had tensed, eyes flashing a bright glowing green.
Lazarus pit green.
It set a pit of dread in Dick's gut. His mind brings forward memories of Jason. Jason, after his revival, after his dip in that cursed pit. The same flash that his brother would get if he got too angry. Too emotional.
As much as Dick wanted to focus on finding who did this, if it had any connection to Ra's al Ghul. He couldn't. Not when the kid tried to get up, to pull away as Bruce and the others made their way closer.
Right now, Dick only cared about making sure the boy was okay. Fixing those stitches, getting him a meal, and a warm bed.
He needed to get this kid someplace where he felt safe and secure. Comfortable and protected. Dick wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the promise he had made, but he wasn't letting anyone get to the kid.
That included his family. As strange as it seemed, Dick put himself between the others and the kid. Shooting them all a glare that they had only ever seen a handful of times.
Dick lifted the poor boy up in his arms, cradling the crying child close as he led the way out of the warehouse. Ignoring the questions or confusion coming from Bruce and the others. As Dick walked, feeling the trembling boy clinging to him, he made a rather obvious realization.
Maybe the eldest son really was more like Bruce than he expected. Just a few short moments the the boy, a boy that Dick didn't know his name, and he was ready to pull out adoption papers. To give the boy a safety he so desperately needs.
Give him the chance that Bruce had given him all those years ago.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#Dick really saw Danny and pulled a B99#“I've only known this boy for 10 minutes and if anything happens to him I'm killing everyone in this room and then myself”#bruce wayne#could easily mix in Ellie and Dan#after all Dick Grayson's gaggle of adopted kids is bound to grow#the others think they're free from the adoption impulse since Dick is picking up the mantel#not exactly for this idea; but I have these little idea of what the batfam adopts from the DP universe#like Damian latches onto the more animalistic characters; immediately falls in love with Cujo#wants to get to know everything about Wulf and Frostbite#meanwhile Jason latches onto Skulker because holy shit look at that arsenal; the two just sharing their best tips and weaponry choices#No explainations for the next onces cause I don't feel like typing em all out but...#Barbs with Technus and Ghost Writer#Tim with Johnny 13 and Nocturne#Alfred with Lunch Lady and Overgrowth#I could seriously go on and on and no I will not explain myself#(maybe)#queued post#every time I post one of these I'm always wondering where and how tf I picked the name#like I've got a draft right now called “Bullets & Babies” smh#picking out names are so hard but I got tired of just putting “DpxDc random snippet/prompt” as the titles lmao
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