#that's how much they messed up
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El WooWoo! Happy 11/20 to Persona 5 fans, I guess. And thank you @nausikaaa, @that-disabled-princess, @artsyunderstudy and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for tagging me in the past two weeks.
Folks, writing is hard. I am not working on Ljubili se, even though a part of me wants to, and instead I am just coming up with WIPs left and right. Honestly, I almost started a My Time at Sandrock Owen/Logan fic! Basically, it feels like my mind is all over the place and I keep trying to start new things in order to get back into the flow of things (see last week's Klaine snippet) only to fall flat again or get stuck.
All of this to stay that I started a fic about BBC's Class, the failed Doctor Who spin-off that is very near to my heart (no, seriously, watch Class). In this story I want to explore the extremely weird relationship between Charlie, Quill and Matteusz, since they end up living together. They all have different views of morality and it does get explored into the show, but not so much between Matteusz and Quill.
I did get stuck on it as well, but I think I have managed to find a way to get unstuck. I just have to delete this part:
Sometimes Matteusz wonders if his life is some elaborate joke. How did he end up here, with woman unconscious on the ground after Matteusz beat her down from behind, just to prevent her from shooting Charlie, who was fighting with Quill about using an alien genocidal Cabinet? Matteusz throws the gun out on the balcony. He’s had enough of guns. Charlie places the sphere back, much to Quill’s anger. Quill truly wants Charlie to kill all the Shadow Kin. Matteusz has stepped in front of Charlie to protect him from her before, and he will do it again. Luckily, Quill walks out without punching Charlie again. The Shadow Kin get rid of the petals and it looks like it’s all over without Charlie having to use the Cabinet. When Charlie admits that he doesn’t know what he would’ve done, Matteusz feels an ache in his chest. He had hoped to hear a clear refusal.
I wrote this part because I felt like I needed to recap what happened in the episodes Co-Owner of a Lonely Heart and Brave-Ish Heart, but also, people who read Class fic probably already know this. And this fic is meant to add to the story of the show, not rehash it. I'm probably going to cut this, rewrite a previous 'missing scene' to place it AFTER these episodes, and see where I go. Also, I want the fic to focus on the time after the main episodes, where all the characters have to deal with what happened. Class unfortunately ended on a cliffhanger, but that does make it free real estate for writers!
And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @caramelcoffeeaddict @raenestee @tectonicduck
@nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @special-bc-ur-part-of-it
@larkral @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites
@whatevertheweather @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @blackberrysummerblog
@nightimedreamersghost @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thnxforknowingme @martsonmars
#ANYONE STILL HERE FROM THE CLASS DAYS?#class truly didn't deserve the insane treatment from the bbc that led to its cancellation#ngl the introduction of class or at least the way it was introduced was also a mistake#dropping 12 in the first episode only for him to go 'lol bye' didn't anchor it enough to the main show#but bc of that i feel like the bbc knew it was doomed to fail and just didn't promote it at all and put the entire show online-only#which led to even less people watch it#like i know whovians who love the show AND sja AND torchwood#but who have never even heard of class#that's how much they messed up#tagged in#wip wednesday
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WE'RE SO BACK
#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#hey this took under 7 hours to do and that was so much faster than the last attempt. that other tim drake one with cleaner lines took me#days to finish and i was coloring it like that one white boy with pulsing veins on his forehead. i was watching one video about how the#thing stopping you from creating is being too obsessed with perfectionism and this is true. we must go forward. GO FORTH. CREATE.#EMBRACE FLAWS AND ACCEPT THAT SOMETIMES IT MAY LOOK ASS. I wouldve been happier with more frames between it but it is a sunday.#M-F employed people you know that means no staying up til 3 am doing little projects because it will mess u up so bad. finished before 12
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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I’ve already said it, I’ll say it again, Mal du Pays is such a visceral and clever word to describe Siffrin’s Sadness. When I first saw it in game it genuinely made me pause like. Yes, it translates to homesickness. But it has the literal word for country in it. “Country sickness”. For a guy whose core problem is that his childhood, his culture, his country is missing. One could argue it’s a twisted pun. I’m obsessed with it.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat mal du pays#isat fanart#my art#in stars and time spoilers#isat headcanon#not done yapping: like you meet mdp at a point where the Big Problem is the loops and siffrin's fear of being abandonned by the party#and then Mal du Pays shows up and it hits you#thats the core of every fucking issue Siffrin has#his country and how it fucked everything for him#his bad memory making him forget too much and making him feel like a horrible friend and making him think that surely#hell also be forgotten#because hes a bad friend and a mess and is missing half of his fucking life#he holds onto the party with everything he has but also feels an infinite amount of shame about it because Hes A Bad Friend#hea so scared to forget whats important to him just like he forgot his past#just#ough
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once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.
and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots
#we are not of course keeping zero year itself. what a mess.#maybe smth very similar so it’s still the riddler causing mass chaos!#the titans so we actually keep the no robin physically present in the story part the same#look. if we want zero year convo we need to give bruce a robin at the time. it could be 17-18yr old who’s not even in gotham bc he’s with#by time tim shows up he’s already attached to jason#and then steph’s robin suddenly for a bit but only for a bit. and then tim comes back but he’s in bludhaven for a while#i do think duke would think steph is really cool tho. and they reasonably couldve met as civilians#and then duke’s busy bouncing around foster homes the streets and looking for his parents#i wanted to talk about how much i love it and the tags are just be working out a timeline for post crisis events & post flashpoint ones (an#some of duke’s important events are related to things which are no longer canon. such is life. let’s do our best based on ages)#duke thomas#jason todd
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Jason and Cass' opposing views on murder is so interesting. Their conflict is not purely moralistic - that is to say, it's not purely that Jason thinks murder is okay, and Cass doesn't. It's their identities, their original and most fundamental worldview. Jason is a murder victim and Cass is a murderer. Yes, Jason kills people as Red Hood, and yes, Cass dies multiple times, but this never truly erases how they see themselves. Jason will always have been murdered, and Cass will always be a murderer. They are unable to fully extricate themselves from those roles, and thus will never approach life or death the same way.
#cassandra cain#jason todd#so i may have spent thirty minutes reading jason meta#cass will always be my fav but damn if jason meta doesn't hit on a spiritual level#that boy is messed up#idk if this post makes any sense?? jason experts feel free to correct me#it's interesting too how so much of their trajectory is trying to change that identity as victim or villain#jason becoming red hood is creating the autonomy being a victim denied him#cass becoming batgirl is creating the autonomy being a (forced) murderer denied her#yet they both are unable to truly let go of what the world made them#thus both being perpetually haunted by their past selves#meta
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itakugi sillies fr the soul
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#itakugi#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk leaks#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk 267#eye horror/#cant see the haters <3#not pictured here megumi holding the camera like ......................#also i dont know how i feel abt eyepatch yuuji but fr the sake of itakugi wearing each other's eyepatches he can have one :'>#entertained the idea of them having Matching ones but i scrapped tht pretty quickly dhsdfgfdf i like them distinct#i think yuuji might b able to pull off the larger snaparound kind bc the scars on the other side of his face maybe balance it out#but i like nobara having a smaller more traditional eyepatch personally#1 bc i think she would not want to mess up her hair but also bc i LOVE th look of her scars i want as many of them visible as possible#the eye socket itself tho is ....kinda gnarly GGHJFHFS#speaking of which ik nobara's eye kind of. exploded. but what exactly happened w yuuji's did it just ???? burn away????#idrk if yuuji shld also have a more defined eye socket tbh but fr the sake of my own enjoyment n sanity#i am pulling the fanartist I Do What I Want card#i make the rules and i want his scars to look Like This smile#anyway i love them so much i missed them so much they r so SIBLING CODED#u dont understand officer i need them being dumb n chaotic. to cope#hands and knees itkg save megumi itfskg make it out alive plspslpslplspslpslspsl
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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Every security guard in Hl1 being the same freaking dude is still one of the funniest things ever to me. Barneys.....
Like what the hell is this.
#half life#gordon freeman#barney Calhoun#actually the barney hivemind was the first hl fic that I read and you can't even imagine how much the last chapter messed me up#art#fanart#my art
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I made this AAAAGES ago and forgot to post it and now I'm annoyed by how it's rotting away on my phone so here. Bratty teen Thancred being a menace to Fourchenault (and a bad influence on Urianger lol)
#we never see fourchenault & thancred interact in any meaningful way (outside of Group Interaction) and i like to imaginr#its bc fourchenault Did Not Like thancred when they were kids and has resolved to just ignore him now#and thancred-the little bastard that he is-wouldve 100% messed with him on purpose if he had the chance#bc i just KNOW he pulled stunts like this to annoy fourchenault all the time#fourchenault tells him to eat more orderly and thancred gets more messy on purpose yk. he is wired to be petty against stuffy rich kids#also urianger isnt actually being influenced much he has always been down to break the rules if he wants to#hes taught by louisiox thats like a requirement. him & his group of unconventional little smartypants#only reason he went to thancred specifically for help here is bc 1) he knows thancred knows how to easily get onto the roof and#2) hes like idk 13 here so hes still a tiny baby size. hes too short to reach up lol#anyway thats enough silly kid rambling time to tag#fourchenault leveilleur#thancred waters#urianger augurelt#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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rewatching bmc as an adult just feels like this
#🐟 my art#bmc#bmc musical#be more chill#bmc squip#bmc jeremy#the squip#jeremy heere#like when i was idk 13 it was still messed up but like#i didnt process as much how much of a little dorkus teen jeremy is until recently#hes just a little guy why so mean to him .....
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Messing up while trying to learn healthier coping skills or communication skills doesn't mean your progress ceases to exist.
If you lashed out at someone during an argument instead of using your coping skills, it's okay to forgive yourself. If you reacted based on your emotional urge instead of looking at the situation, that's okay. It happens.
No one is perfect all the time. I think we expect so much more of ourselves. In my case, because I felt so ashamed of who I used to be. It makes me feel extra pressure to "do better". But the reality is, people who aren't in recovery mess up too. And sometimes they may not even notice it.
You don't need to beat yourself up about it. In fact, beating yourself up about it doesn't really help anyone. You can learn from it. Was there something going on that made it harder to use your coping skills? Was there a certain trigger? Maybe a bad day? Take your new knowledge and move forward.
Your progress still very much exists. I promise.
#my post#i failed a lot when i self taught myself skills#i'd use really great communication skills for awhile#and then i'd ignore them to act on my emotions#even now i still mess up#it doesn't happen nearly as much#and i think i will always mess up#because i am human#but i can be accountable#and do better#also like#how i react after messing up is different now too#i apologize#i admit what i did wrong#and i try to do better
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God I have so much to say about Melinoe's characterization, and the fasinating implications about her future arc/the overarching plot of hades 2. I want to make a larger think piece with pictures but for the moment I'm just going to focus on this one specific thread.
In the wake of the Prometheus reveal, she has a slew of convos about his motivations for siding with Chronos, and the gods basically all go: this is his vengeance for us punishing him a tad cruelly. And Nemesis is like, yeah the gods 100% deserve it. But Meli's responds that he must have more motivation than just vengeance, it can't just be that. But when Prometheus explicitly goes, 'I'm doing this because the gods are horrible to humanity and I love humans,' she basically goes, no he must be lying. That motivation is both too pure, but also humans kind of suck why would you care about them?
Mel's humanity hot takes deserve it's own essay (Ms I think Humans should have never gotten fire and are better when they are dead), and I just want to focus on the former for now. She can not comprehend that Prometheus is fighting the gods for noble reasons. It just does not make sense to her. Mel's world is so black and white. She doesn't understand the nuance of the situation, and the thought that the gods might be actually in the wrong doesn't even get close to crossing her mind.
It's a fascinating (and horrifying) result of her upbringing. Of the constant state of war and the very convenient big bad that is Chronos, the evil monster who stole her family. If she accepts that his side isn't completely evil, that they might even be right in some (even many) respects, she would have to grapple with her whole life. Everything she believes would be thrown into question, the literal thing she was training her whole life for.
She can't have Prometheus fighting for a noble cause, because he fights for Chronos whose the Bad Guy tm. But he also can't be fighting for something as simple as vengeance, because that would also mean she would need to really think about what he's angry about. If the punishment was truly so unnecessary cruel.
When talking to Odysseus about Prometheus, when Ody's saying how much he respected him for stealing the fire despite knowing the consequences, Mel says that it was the price to be paid for breaking Olympus's decree. To her, Olympus's rules are sacred and ultimately good. Unquestionably. Prometheus broke the rules with intent, so to her, why would he be so angry at the consequences? Especially if he knew because of his power they were going to happen.
So he must have another reason, some secret machiavellian plan that drives him. Except as I already said, it brings her right back to him doing it for humanity, which she also can't accept. Because that would be admiting that the gods did something wrong to humans. She twists herself into knots to justify her worldview, and it's fascinating! She's so messy I adore her.
Please Supergiant please the final surface boss has to be a human pleeeaaasse (preferably a living one). Or at least have one (or more) show up in some other capacity. Mel needs to come face to face with the other side and have it utterly destroy her worldview.
And/or have (Pan)Dora betray her for Prometheus, that would also be very fun haha.
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#hades game#melinoe#Prometheus#hades#she just! tears into her#this girl can fit so much isolated child soldier trauma in her#with a dash of autism and being one of the ruling class to really have it blow up#i adore how messed up she is!#how everything that breaks her simple worldview she either brushes aside the importance of it#or just totally ignores it#ill admit while ive always liked her#i did prefer Zag as a protagonist#but now i think if supergiant pulls this off and gives her the character arc she deserves#im going to prefer her#shes just so flawed and blah ive gone on long enough haha
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— ☆ “PRETTY BOY.”
— expect the worst when whitney has a stupidly, dumb puppy love crush on his upperclassman that happens to be you and even more so, when you predictably take notice of it. but, remember— he asked for it first, didn’t he? 3.5k w.
— warnings? yeah, mildly dub-con, handjob in broad fucking daylight, somewhat exhibitionism although no one gets to see the stupid, pretty boy squirm and upperclassman male reader who’s sort of.. a bitch. y’know the drill by now, plus a younger whitney (still an adult, no worries. I’m not into that sorta shit.)
Like a clueless moth instinctually drawn towards a burning flame, he’s no goddamn different than the clingy idiots who can’t seem to automatically take a hint when given so in their direction— y’know, the ones he’d audibly snicker and scoff at due to the sheer embarrassment, disgustingly obvious puppy love streaked along their flushed faces as they mindlessly follow the other’s every move. Innocently peer up in search of their crush’s approval like some sort of brain dead dog whose sole purpose is to joyfully please their master. Hell, it’s gross, and the blonde doesn’t make it any more difficult to showcase his wrongly placed dislike for it— yeah, by the repeated gagging noises spilling forth from his open maw.
“It’s nauseating to watch, stinks up the whole room with those big, puppy, doe eyes”— he’d openly say with an absent shrug of his broad shoulders, glinting, barely visible glimpse of the metallic barbell freshly pierced upon his curved tongue proving his judgemental statements to be otherwise.. fuckin’ hypocritical, no? ‘Cuz, isn’t that same piercing found in his mouth done due to one, single, stray comment you aimlessly made by chance?
Not like your liking of things plays a grand role in whatever he does, trouble he’s immediately roped into, fuck— no, definitely not! It’s a stupid, damn coincidence is what it is, nothing more and nothing less either. No need to uselessly pry any further in the meaning of his baseless actions. Just.. happened to have it done on the same consequential day you confidently expressed your idea that he’d get one because— y’a said it’d look good on him, didn’t you? And, look here, he fuckin’ did it like some cheap mutt. Obediently parted his rosy lips for your viewing pleasure to willingly prove to your pretty eyes that he truly went along with your absently made suggestion, for real. Gleefully hung upon your every important word like his life depended on it— god, it isn’t like that, okay?
An upperclassman he’s briefly looked up to is all you are, all you’ve ever been for that matter, and he’ll punch the shitty, fuckin’ lights out of any big mouthed idiot who dares to say so otherwise. Right in the guts for spouting out complete, nonsensical bullshit, alright?
Or is it time to reluctantly admit it with a bashful blush apparent upon his contorted features— accompanied by gritting teeth stubbornly grinding together in a futile refusal of his shoddy, unwanted sentiments burrowed deep within his stuttering heart? As if he’d ever would in your presence, which he possibly can’t help himself, to childishly imitate your gestures in the withering hopes that’d you scarcely notice his thinly veiled efforts, acts filled with meaning.
Well, well.. Whitney, the supposedly cold and untouchable bully here isn’t so unique nor different from those idiotic dumbasses he’d routinely poke fun at, huh? Time to face the embarrassingly evident reality set before him, whether his gaze dares to instinctively stray away or not from the unsettling truth— ah, good thing you’re here to seamlessly guide him on the right path, ain’t that right?
As for the so-called, morally ethical path he’s hopelessly talking about.. Perhaps, that’s a plain, ol’ lie he’ll repeatedly tell himself of so considering your shared reputations at hand. More likely than not, often referred to — as much as the nickname itself has the tip of his ears prickling scarlet, noisily yelling at the fuckers who cheekily name him that — your little, dumb puppy. Fuck, he’s not! The day he, himself, Whitney of all people, wordlessly bows down to the height of someone’s heel frustratingly grinding atop of his head, is the day one can loudly claim with unbridled conviction, that he’s officially lost his goddammit mind, that’s what.
Listen, you’re the one who faithfully promised and guaranteed your unwavering protection if he stuck to your sides like some fuzzy pet, so he did the obvious choice. Specially when met with the shitty conditions this rundown town, definitely shady for that matter, is. Rather be silently stamped as the ‘sly follower’ who went along with the smartest choice presented to ‘em— your offer, by the way — than some nobody seamlessly forgotten on the dirtied streets. Least, that’s what likely replays on and on in his mind like some cheap, broken record to dumbly convince his unmoving mind of what this annoyingly persistent feeling is deep within the pit of his quivering tummy. Annoying, ain’t it?
Speakin’ of tummy, you sure are touchy-feeling with him, aren’t ya? Not that he necessarily minds nor will outwardly admit the slightest shivers that comes to grace the entirety of his figure when met with the briefest grazes of your fingertips flush against his bare skin. Likes the physical contact intimately shared between you two? Fuck no— just keeping himself on your good side in case you were to suddenly discard him like you habitually do with your other.. nameless toys, which he doesn’t possess enough fucks to bother learning their names. As long as your flickering gaze doesn’t happen to stray too far from his, he’s actually, pretty content.
‘Course, it did progressively start off with the sorta things you’d absentmindedly do with your numerous friends. Brush of his golden strands glimmering against the gleaming sunlight— shit, even acted out like some cheesy rom-com at the way his face instantly heated up, glimpse of vulnerability you seem to so easily catch on with him and fuck, does he detests it— truly does like no other. Still, lets y’a carelessly stroke your fingers throughout the mess of a hairstyle the delinquent wears, even fucking.. tenderly pushed a single, stray strand of hair behind his burning ear. Shoulders instinctively drawn up in sheer defence at the tension residing within him because, really, how do y’a expect him to relax and ease up when it’s with you?
“What? What is it? Do I have shit in my hair or somethin’?” Oh yeah, nice goin’ on that fuckin’ stupid question of his, huh? Flush adorning the length of his face— god, even down towards his neck too— immediately deepening at the crude choice of words. Might casually speak so with anyone, but when it comes to you, he’s got this instinctual urge to not come off as some try-hard desperately trying to butter you up in hopes of your returned approval of him.
“Hm? It’s nothing, I just think you’d look cute if you grew out your hair a little bit. Don’t you think?” Ah, and there you go— with your surprising compliments spoken out of the blue like that.
“Cute?? Are you seriously tryna fuck with me right now?” Defensive mechanism or whatever to draw up that blank conclusion since this is just about the first time any sort of adjective resembling that of ‘adorable’ by the way, could’ve been made to plainly describe a rowdy, unrelenting boy such as Whitney.
“What? You don’t think so? I think you’re cute as shit, Ney-ney.” That fuckin’ nickname again, god. Quit it, will ya? And, don’t try to tentatively lean closer in his personal space when calmly making that stupid remark too! Your goddamn— ah, hot breath effortlessly heating up the shell of his ear, curled lips almost, insistently pressed against his cheek. “Real fucking cute, actually. Definitely cuter than the average boy that’s for sure— prettier too, but you’ve got too much of a stick up your ass to admit that, don’t you?”
At this point, you’re practically taunting him, and he would’ve unabashedly swung his fist if it weren’t for that said person being you. Grin cracking upon your lips at the doe, wide-eyed look he’s greeting you with, seemingly unable to utter so much as a word to that uncharacteristically depraved statement, or is that your idea of a damn compliment to another guy? Shit, that’s right! Both guys is what you two are— so, his cock hidden underneath the fabric of his ripped jeans, languish legs lazily stretched out along the creaking, wooden bench, shouldn’t be stirring up with peeked interest at the mind numbing prospect of endlessly being called ‘pretty’ by you. Nor profusely encouraging the alarming amount of translucent pre-cum dizzyingly forming at the swollen tip of his cock head, crudely staining the material sheer. Give the blonde a supportive head pat while you’re at it, too. Ah.. should be saying somethin’ right about now lest he wants to appear as some bashful fool.
“I don’t—“
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t swing that way, I know. I’m not hitting on you, I’m just telling the truth as it is. Got any idea how many guys would line up just to fuck your dirty mouth? Maybe your tits too, if they’re into that sorta stuff— shit, I think they’d go for the ass too, definitely. I could make a goddamn fortune just whoring out your pretty, slutty body to the old fucks at the pub, y’know that, Whit?” Endless chattering on and on, explicit details of how some grubby old men could be here, disgustingly groping his flesh instead. Yet, that lingering glimmer within your gaze, noticeably darkening in return at the mere idea of it as your thumb comes forth to idly tap at his blazing cheek.
“But, you know.. I don’t. I won’t. Not cuz’ I’m a nice guy or anything— hah, truthfully, I’m no better than them for wanting to ruin a pretty face like yours.” You’re.. god, he can’t keep up with whatever shit you’re nonchalantly spouting, gracing solely his ears to be the one to silently listen to this.. crap, can’t really say it— fluttering in his tensed stomach from your bold admission, depraved wants just as much as he does late at nights— wanting to fuck him too.
“Honestly, do you know why I don’t use your sorry fuckin’ ass, Whitney?”
If he’s meant to attentively keep up with your words by now, then his brain has happily shut off due to the dizzying amount of semi-insults, degration and somewhat praise shot in his way. Like he’d fucking know, shit!
“See, it’s cuz’ it’s real funny to watch you trotting ‘round my side like some dumb, fucking puppy begging for its owner’s attention. I give you just a bit of praise, and your doggy tail would start wagging if you even had one. You look so goddamn stupid that it’d hurt my conscience to sell you out like this. And, I don’t like it when other fucks touch what’s mine either. I’m not running some gracious charity, am I?” To be truthful, if you tirelessly keep up with that incessant spouting, he’s bound to boil over like some screeching, burning kettle considering.. the obscene amount of scorching heat riddled across his features currently, adorning his cheeks so stupidly — and prettily too, huh— crimson red for your unwavering gaze solely. Seems like you’re liking the rare show in front of you quite a bit, aren’t you?
Stunned would’ve been one of the few lacking words remaining in the thick, daunting dictionary to scarcely describe the absolutely idiotic expression he’s nicely sporting right about now.
“Shut up.. I’m not—“ Fuck, fuck, fuck!! And, how the simple concept of verbal speech dutifully fails the bully at a time like this. Great going there, fuckin’ dumbass! Visibly seething would’ve been the most reasonable reaction in face of this, but— but— fuck! Entirety of this crap is all too quick for his sluggish mind to steadily keep up with your unpredictable actions, pathetically keening with a drawled out curse— no, more like a high-pitched whine is what it truly sounds like, once your calloused palm gingerly strips him free from his relatively loose jeans in one fell swoop.
“What the fuck’re you doin’—?? Mmph, fuck.. don’t—“ Dumb question to be asking when the self-evident answer is plainly in front of him.
Weeping cock, flushed in the cooling, outside air, naturally springing forth out of its constricting confines to audibly slap against his bare rigid tummy. Aw, now ain’t that real pretty to witness? Timid, twitching cock profusely leaking out sticky pre to messily smear along the curve of the blonde’s stomach, which you promptly do the honours for him, unabashedly too.
Always been pretty confident in your audacity to joyfully serve people, haven’t you? By god, he’s half-hated ya for meddling with others private businesses to begin with, although his throbbing cock being so smoothly tended to can say otherwise, idly disagree with his withering logic. Shakily sighing, puffing out heated huffs of air as your so— fuck.. annoyingly warm and soft hand loosely tucks ‘round his fat cock, teasingly squeezes him down at the base. Meanly drawing out more pearly globs of his dribbling pre-cum with a resounding, wet squelch!, undeniable proof of his shared arousal at the newfound situation he’s unfortunately finding himself in.
‘Unfortunately’— one says, funny that you see right through that by the mocking nature of your barking laughter, sharply ringing within his ears.
“My, who’s the exact fucking pervert here, Whit? Y’seem pretty hard to me. Actually, you’re dripping wet down there, y’know that?” No fucking shit. Ready to single-handily cum from a single, measly stroke of your fist snugly wrapped around the veiny girth of his quivering length— fucking hell. Head instinctively thrown back to which you soon wistfully take advantage of, ‘course you would, wouldn’t you? Lazily pressing hot, heated kisses along the sharp edges of his jawline that soon has the same bully, known to be so very resistant, stifling wanton moans, firmly clasping a palm over his gaping mouth in a heedless effort to remain discreet as possible. Slithering, pink tongue laving and tracing over the heated shell of his ear, ushered snickering coupled by bouts of utter filth being so brazenly whispered towards him. And your canines— ah, are not helping at all either. Grazing the bobbing curve of his throat, delicately sucking a bruising mark upon the tanned skin to pridefully admire over later. “Nnh— no, fu— ah, uuckk! N-Not there, you bastard!!”
“Not here? What’s the matter, Ney-Ney? Can’t fucking speak properly when your pretty, pink cock is being stroked off like this?” Would’ve scornfully refuted you, barked out the meanest curses that would’ve had an elderly woman shockingly clutch her pearls if given the chance, but stealing a discreet glance down to humiliatingly witness how sticky and wet his tip has gotten, messily stained your palm in a string of creamy, white pre is not.. Possessing way too much pride to do so. “Y’see, you like this— hah, fuck— you like it when I actually take what I fucking want from you and ruin you down to this cute, little, slutty mess, yeah?”
“I-It’s not like that—“ Uncharacteristically meek protest on his part. Cat got his tongue, ‘s that it?
“No? Pretty boy. Use your words, will you?” Oh, fuuuuckkin’ god. Seeing sheer darkness as his eyes reflexively roll backwards to his skull from casually being called ‘pretty’ by your lulling voice.
Have any idea the way your hushed words dizzyingly affects his fuzzy brain? Renders him alarmingly stiff like a stoned statue, wobbling knees surely bound to buckle beneath the weight of your relentless taunting, all the while being boldly jerked off in broad, fucking daylight — hidden amongst the rustling bushes of the park, mind you — still, very much in an open space where one can be so easily seen by oncoming passerbys. And even then, the absolute control you possess over him, sneakily snaking your arm ‘round his middle, relishing in the little, heated gasps hurriedly rushed out of this dirty, fucking perverted bitch of a blonde’s mouth is too way goddamn much for him to precariously withstand another tortuously long second of this shit.
Yeah, one more minute? He’s fucking busting by then.
“What’s the matter? Can’t keep up? Gon’ shoot your filthy load soon, ‘s that it?” Mild disinterest lacing your very tone with a slight hint of, what’s that..? Actual anticipation? Hah, as if he can barely discern between the mind buzzing layer of reality set upon him when coupled by your soft— so fucking warm, shit.. hand relentlessly fisting him dry, milking every thick droplet steadily trickling forth. Uncaring for the accumulated mess below you both as his hips instinctually roll forward against the rewarding palm of your curled fist, sickeningly jolts at a noticeably harsh press of your padded thumb atop his oozing tip. “Well, then.. Go ahead, I’m not stopping you, am I?”
“Cmon, pretty. Paint my hand all sticky and nice for me, yeah?”
Predictably so, as the uttered rumours had notably confirmed— how downright desperate Whitney’s always apparently been for you to the damn point that he’s automatically cumming on command like a dog patiently withholding for its owner’s words and oh, was it fucking worth the extensive wait. Stifled whimper weakly slipping out, fingers immediately latching onto the comforting feel of your forearm lazily slung around his quivering figure for proper support. No use in making a fool out of himself by clumsily buckling down to his slacked knees— not that he hasn’t already, though too late to be thinking about it twice, huh? Thick, sticky strings of his hot seed directly shot out of his pulsing cock and into the air to, as expected, pervertedly dirty your open hand in a mess of his load which is kinda.. hot, no? Fuckin’ get ahold of yourself, shit! Minus the rest having uncontrollably splattered downwards onto the ground, pitifully traced in a puddled mess of droplets.
And somehow, the barely discernible hint of a relieved breath tumbling from between his parted lips. The natural conclusion that this is it, oncoming closure bound to take its place yet still— still, damn it; Always managed to keep the dirtied blonde on the edge of his toes, haven’t you?
So, truly, it shouldn’t have came off as an unexpected shock then, how you so brazenly mumble a stuttered curse beneath your puffed sighs at the melting sight. “Ah, fuck.” Swiftly freeing your fat— well, admittedly hefty cock for his following eyes to shamelessly gawk at in turn because, y’know.. fuck, he won’t outright voice it, but the sinful glimmer in his wide gaze says it all. Innate itch, unadulterated need— god, to merely sling down to his knees, sloppily drool all over your tasty-looking cock and coat it all shiny and wet with his spit. Although, too busy admiring the rare glimpse of your contorted features strained with pure, unrestrained concentration to bother paying much attention to the repeated, distinct fapping! noises of your cock being so hurriedly stroked raw, as if in a hurry, almost.
Furrowed brows deepening, lashes fluttering in their wake as your rosy lips that he’s known time and time again to be nonchalantly formed into a grin— now, so prettily stained crimson by the harsh press of your teeth against your puffy, bottom lip. “Don’t— ugh, fucking look at me like that.” You audibly groan out in the mix of a huffed chuckle. Slightest flush delicately dusting your cheeks a pink hue, so damn pretty too. “Hah, it makes things kinda awkward, y’know?” Ah, takes less than a stretched minute for his brain to acutely process what’s hit him before given the proper chance.
Something hot— and sticky too, actually it’s pretty evident what it should’ve been if he wasn’t so goddamn brain dead within this bleary moment. Splattering amongst the already present mess you’ve both collectively made of yourself, thick ropes of sweet cum landing right upon his rumpled uniform you’ve taken a gleeful joy of permanently ruining. Judging by the cackling laughter soon drawing forth outta ya thanks to the sheer, dizzying sight of the cum-stained mess he’s forced to pitifully endure for the time being.
Look what you’ve done, god— even if you manage to be one step ahead of him, as always, in such a predicament as the delinquent merely receives a thrown jacket straight in the face. “Sorry for ruining your nice shirt of yours, I couldn’t really help myself when you looked so dumb like that. Take it as an apology, alright?” Exhaling out shakily in the chilling air suddenly alarmingly cold without your warm weight shifted against his own, too deliriously fucked out of his mind to muster up a rightful remark to your cheaply made one. Dumb, little ol’ puppy is what he is to you, no?
And perhaps then, it’s the idiotic absurdity of your actions, swiftly turning away like the encounter itself hadn’t even taken place right at this very spot. Footsteps progressively fading amongst the rhythmic crunches of fallen leaves fluttering down from the withering trees, gaze tentatively flicking downwards to where your stupidly soft, discarded jacket rests within his arms. Meaningless gesture is what it should’ve been notably perceived as, though that doesn’t really help the gradual thump! of his swaying heart noisily beating against his chest nonetheless.
That’s not— oh.
Oh.
“..Fuck.”
Yeah, being wholly swallowed by the ground beneath his feet doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?
#sorry just had to get this out of my system after not writing for around 2 weeks straight#so if this is utter dog shit I’m sorry for having forgotten how to properly write#but yknow nothing beats a whimpering whiny bitch of a mess Whitney#although this was meant to be a short drabble and not a full on lengthy one#not to say 3.5k is all that much in comparison to some but 2k+ isn’t a drabble to me anymore#we’re back to our regular schedule — balls deep in boypussy#had lotsa fun doing this as a warm up and god I cannot wait to expand upon upperclassman reader#dol#degrees of lewdity#whitney the bully#whitney dol#dol whitney#whitney degrees of lewdity#degrees of lewdity whitney#x male reader#top male reader#dom male reader#male reader#character x male reader#— ☆ burnt ashes.
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Being a creative with adhd is so weird because you want to make things so badly but your brain is just refusing to, so you’re just stuck there replaying the exact scene or piece of dialogue or drawing or cinematic shot in your mind while not actually being able to do anything. But at the same time the adhd is actively giving you unique creative experiences and ideas and it feels like a fundamental part of you as an artist. It’s such an interesting dichotomy of feeling the thing that you want to make so strongly and wanting nothing more than to just pour it all out but also being completely unable to do it, and that coming from the same source. But then also you have to live through said dichotomy and it just becomes completely and overwhelmingly exhausting.
#adhd stuff#I have so much to say on writing and how my adhd and general neuroticism affects it#like even aside from the executive dysfunction and depressive episodes and processing issues that also mess up my ability to write or draw#this feels like such a core mental illness experiences for me idk#actually adhd#mental illness
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