#that's because they are also representations of me

[amberinn]

something between

yess she's so insane and fucked up (having specific one of my friends in mind for this too, tysm for supporting me and accepting me lowkey it's good to have ground you believe to be semi-stable) (attachment issues are real and a bitch)

deemed problematic

ignoring me, because I get in the way of a ship

minor coded (which i will at some point grow out of. I mean I swear a lot, that must mean people would find me at least somewhat scary and mature---- wait, fuck, tommyinnit. oh im doomed.)

get hc'd as something and reduced to the hc

?? people in media usually strive for positive autism representation, right

knowing that I'm on my own journey of actually growing out of being albeist (which I only ever was in the first place, because I was scared of myself)

and somewhere in between where I accept who I am, and sometimes still flaunt stereotypes around trying to half heartedly con (lie/convince) people into believing I deserve some sort of .... I don't know? things? benefits?

and sometimes I double lie, because I actually DO need to (get out of the meeting, because it's getting to me, but I don't want other people to think I'm this weak, so if lie about pretending to lie)

and there will be sides to me, but people WILL at some point think I represent something with me being me

and they'll be displeased it's most likely bad.

I have flaws, like.

lots of them.

I'm like the least kinneable character in existance tbh ;

it's so crazy how that was my first thought when people can p much also reduce me to

pathetic wet cat

angry bitch

child

or something worse, yikes.

"shes so pathetic and bbg i want to torture them" (pls dont im already tortured enough.... ok finneeeeee.... for enrichment)

[cutehoons02]

See you on the podium, sweetie!

*pairing: Lee Heeseung F1 Ferrari driver x PR

*trope: only one bed-bad boy Heeseung?

*driver: Lee Heeseung=Charles Leclcer

*synopsis: Being the PR of Ferrari has always been one of your biggest dreams but you would never have expected to find yourself working with Lee Heeseung, the representation of the driver that no sports PR would want to have: flirts with all the girls, is always paparazzato to parties around the world from MonteCarlo to Bali, breaks the heart of his fans miliary both because it is really beautiful and knows that he is but also for his aura untouchable because he is the chosen in house Ferrari. But there is a secret that is coming more and more to the surface, he can't sleep peacefully for months now both because of the countless haters he has in social media but also because he doesn't win a race for almost 6 months and from a driver Ferrari everyone expects more from him. What if the PR of Ferrari was the only one to calm him and put him to sleep? a shared bed, various hotels to travel around the world, beautiful tracks and countless podiums to win...

*tags: A lot of tension,fluffy, pervy Heeseung, a lot of humor, teasing, kissing, sucking, shower sex, unprotected sex (don't horny people) minor don't interect + 18, fingering, pubblic scenes,masturbation, pet names (sweetie, PR,good girl) (Hee) jealousy, possesion

11.4k (🌹)

Heeseung has just stepped out of his red-hot car, his eyes are tired but full of determination and while he takes off his helmet he sees his companions or "friends" on the podium while they spray rivers of Champagne and take a thousand photos for various social content with their trophies. He is trying to hide his frustration after another disappointing race by coming in P4, while reporters surround him when he enters the post-race space of the reporters. You were always flawless in your role as PR, and you make your way through the crowd with a firm step, a smile that hides a veil of sarcasm. As soon as Heeseung sees you, he smiles and looks up at you with his hair ruffled by sweat and helmet, trying to keep his "womanizer" attitude under control.

«Here’s my favorite PR, you’re always by my side, Y/n. I was wondering if this time you would cheer for me, or if I would see you clapping your hands for your little friend Jake or whatever for Jay» He said, leaning towards you as you were going to get in line to answer the questions of an Italian journalist.

"You don’t look like someone who needs my support, if you want I’ll show you how many girls cheer you up on ig sending you pictures at the osè. Rather, it seems you need a miracle both for how you drive and for your appearance. But don’t worry, I’m good at fixing things...at least those that aren’t about your ego." Heeseung smiled maliciously leaned on a slab leaned his head and looked at you with a defiant expression

«Ah, my ego. I didn’t think you liked it so much. Or maybe it’s just that you’re afraid I’ll win, so you should stay up like 24 hours a day to check every social or your mailbox if you find some pictures of me with not only my prize but also with girls and I do some shit?»

You took a step closer and looked him straight in the eye

"I don’t care to be in the middle of the action, Heeseung. I’m interested in you winning, finally, and bring a little joy to this team that works its ass every weekend. But the miracle you’re referring to is becoming more difficult. You are tired, aren’t you?"

«I’m not tired, Y/n. Just frustrated. I want to win for Ferrari, you know. But... it’s not easy.» closed his eyes for a moment because he was tired and could not wait to lie down on the plane.

«It’s not easy... when things don’t go as they should.»

You sighed and looked at him, he looked like a helpless puppy put in a cage of lions who would eat him and did not help the thick dark circles under his eyes.

"I know. But the pressure won’t help you run faster. Neither will your ego. Maybe you should just take a break... and maybe sleep a little since you haven’t slept more than 8 hours?"

Hee looked up at the sky and with an ironic smile said to you

«Yes, because sleep is the solution to all my problems, right? It’s not like I’ve been trying to sleep for the last couple of months... I tried natural herbal pills, medicines, anti-stress pillows, hypnosis, sleeping with Jungwon, sleeping in the motorhome, and other shit»

sighs and shakes his head

«But, of course, you keep giving me advice and making fun of me. I’m sure that another 'everything is fine, surely this evening you will be able to sleep' on your part will do me miracles.»

"I never made fun of you Heeseung and you know better than me that I’m worried about you. But since you’re so stubborn, maybe you should stop being a superhero and accept that even champions need a shoulder to lean on. You’re human too, Heeseung and sooner or later you’ll find a solution to your insomnia problem and you need to sleep at least a couple of hours even on the shoulder of a random person."

«So, are you suggesting that I fall asleep on your shoulder, Y/n? Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to be touched by anyone, would you grant me such an honor?» he looked at you amused as you raised your eyes.

"You’re a lost cause, Heeseung was a way of saying what I told you to sleep on someone’s shoulder. But don’t worry, if you want to fall asleep on my shoulder later in the plane, go ahead"

Heeseung looked at you amused and raised his hands in surrender

«Okay, okay, I give up. Let’s do it then. But if I can finally sleep, I’ll buy you a ticket for a concert of those Korean bands that you listen to.»

You opened your mouth slightly surprised by how much she knew about you and smiled but in a genuine way.

"Let’s give it all Heeseung, there is nothing to lose!"

The plane is almost empty, with a few team members sitting in the back of the cabin, some chatting, others resting. You were sitting by the window, immersed in reading a romance book that they were all talking about on #Booktok. The soft light of the plane illuminated the pages and your face was focused, as if you were living every word of history. Heeseung was sitting across the row and bored himself to death. He needed a distraction, so he got up and stood by you and took a sneak peek at the book.

«So, Y/n.. another of your love novels? I hope Prince Charming comes soon to save you because otherwise, you will find yourself at 50 years old still fantasizing in your house in the countryside full of cats»

"Are you always so sarcastic, Heeseung? Better to stay in a house full of super cute and cuddly cats than having a person like you in the house! You better not have your ego ever come up to the level of one of these books' protagonists, or you will never find your white horse or sword fighting to save your princess." You said without lifting your eyes from the book but with a funny smile

Heeseung made a gesture of stabbing his heart and looked at you with a grin.

«But come on, Y/n! Let’s be clear. Do you think that the Prince Charming of these books is really what happens in a relationship? With broken hearts and promises of eternal love? Please, what you read is practically unreal in this society»

You finally raised your eyes, raising an eyebrow and looking at him badly.

"I guess you’re more realistic. Instead of waiting for the prince charming, maybe you should accept that you are not invincible. And a Ferrari is not enough to change who you are, I know that inside you hide a boy with a thousand fears and that it could be the "prince charming" for at least one girl out there if you open your eyes and behave like a normal guy and not a womanizer." You said, touching slightly the part of his heart covered by a wide sweatshirt

Heeseung laughed, shaking his head and staring at you

«I wouldn’t say that I’m a 'prince charming' type, but at least I’m a driver. And with my talent when I have the high-performance car I’ll be the king of the track and maybe of history. There is no white horse, only racing tires and a roaring engine.»

You were slightly amused by his answer and returned with your eyes on your book.

"Ah, well, everyone has their way of feeling like a hero, but this year there is another hero on the track and that’s not you but Sunghoon with his Red Bull. But you can still think it’s all that easy if it makes you feel better."

Heeseung slightly leans to see the title of the book and looks for it on the internet and starts laughing reading that is a sport-romance about a hockey player and a kind of singer and the trope is "Enemis to lovers and Tutoring". While he was reading he felt his eyes getting tired and he hands his face and is jealous to see you so alert and focused even after countless hours of work.

«I will pretend not to have read the plot Y/ n, meanwhile I comment that it will be another book where the boy is perfect and has 0 weak points and represents perfection»

"If you think I’m looking for perfection, then you don’t know me at all, Heeseung."

With a fun air, moves a little closer to you, trying to peek better at the pages and have the opportunity to observe you.

«So what are you doing with these books, Y/n? It seems that you are waiting for your 'knight' but you know better than me that he does not exist in real life»

You looked at him for a moment, amused but also a little annoyed by his insistence. He moved even closer and kept on making jokes until you closed the book and looked at it with defiance.

"You’re unbearable, Heeseung. I read these books to escape from reality and find some peace and to have some laughs for what happens in these super romantic books but someone named Lee Heeseung does not leave me alone"

Heeseung raises his hands in surrender, but he can’t help laughing. After another minute of silence, he realizes that you had put on headphones and you were leaning with your eyes closed at the window and his expression softens, although it still does a little cynical fake.

«Okay, okay, enough with the jokes. Just... you’re right. I’m tired, and maybe I’m talking in vain. But seriously... a little rest would not hurt me.»

You felt his sincerity hidden under his facade, you can not help but shake your head.

"It was just a joke, Heeseung. I know you don’t like the idea of admitting that you need a break. But if you want to sleep, maybe you should get comfortable, instead of being condescending with me. Try to close your eyes and relax a little we have almost 3 hours more flight"

Heeseung, who has never liked to admit that he is vulnerable, tries to appear uninterested. But, after a few more minutes of tension, without thinking too much, it lets go and leans on your shoulder inspiring your sweet scent but at the same time floral.

Heeseung sighed, almost whispering.

«All right, all right... I give up. I don’t expect miracles... but maybe a little sleep.»

You were not completely surprised by that gesture but you looked at it for a moment and you said nothing. It’s more of a spontaneous gesture from Heeseung, who finally seems to admit he needs some peace.

After 10 minutes you were listening to Taylor Swift and chanting it in your head until you felt a slight breath next to your neck and opened your eyes and watched Heeseung sleeping, who breathed with a relaxed breath and even his face seemed relaxed rather looked completely abandoned to his sleep. You looked at him incredulously and a small smile formed on your face, and at that point, Jungwon, his teammate who had seen the whole scene from the other side of the plane, came up with a look of pure surprise.

<< Can’t believe it... really. This is a miracle, maybe we found the right cure or person for Heeseung. We were all completely stupid or unaware you were always here with us>

You looked slightly at Jungwon and I did no with my head

"I didn’t do anything he's just tired, Jungwon"

Jungwon shakes his head, watching Heeseung sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks, and looks at you with a grin.

Heeseung wakes up slowly after 3 hours, stretching with a slight groaning. He slept like he hadn’t done in weeks, but as he moved he felt a discomfort around his neck. He sits better in the seat and looks down...only to realize that his arm is wrapped around your waist. Even worse, her head is practically resting on your breast.

It freezes and the eyes open. His mind runs fast, trying to figure out how to make up for it and how he got to sleep leaning on you for hours. The image of him, sleeping in that position, seems compromising: He, the "great flirt", now transformed into a puppy that clings to you as if you were his pillow.

«Oh, my...sorry! I don’t know how... I didn’t mean to... I mean, it wasn’t intentional!» pulling out the arm with an unnatural speed

you had been motionless not to wake him up and you looked at him with a mixture of irritation and disbelief.

"It’s not like you can use people as a human pillow, Heeseung. I hope you slept well at least because I... don’t."

Hee looks at you with fawning eyes, a little embarrassed but sincerely sorry.

«I swear, I didn’t notice! It’s... well, you were comfortable and I hadn’t slept like this for an eternity...»

Before he can say anything else, the sound of a giggle interrupts him. Jungwon, sitting a short distance away, turned with a funny expression and a smartphone in his hand. It’s not hard to guess that he was watching the scene for a while.

<< Well, good to know. The solution to your sleep problems was not complicated Hee: you only need Y/n next to yourself as a human pillow!>> With a mischievous smirk looked at you and Heeseung

You gave Jungwon a look that could burn up a Ferrari engine, but he doesn’t seem to be the least bit intimidated. On the contrary, he turns completely towards you by placing his chin on a seat, ready to continue teasing.

"Don’t put yourself in it. It’s enough to put up with him, let alone you."

He raised his hands in surrender but with a glaring

<< Hey, come on Y/n, it was just a joke. But seriously, look how he’s been born again! I haven’t seen him this calm in months. Maybe your problem is already gone, Y/n is a kind of sleep talisman."

Heeseung, still red in the face, tries to answer but he gets stuck, clearly in trouble. He doesn’t know how to react: on the one hand, he would like to continue to be a bad boy, on the other hand, he feels like a child who has been caught in the act.

«Stop it Jungwon. It’s not like that! It’s not my fault I fell asleep and Y/n was just... there.»

<< Ah, sure. 'Just there.' So much 'just there' that you were wrapped like a koala around her. >> he said with a clever smirk

You were unaware of the situation and got up from your seat with a strong gesture, the book under your arm. She’s tired of both and ready to leave that embarrassing scene behind.

"Fantastic. You are a dream team I understand why everyone says that you are made for each other as a duo in Ferrari. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to prepare myself mentally for a new race weekend, who knows what dramas will come out." You said looking at Heeseung in particular

Jungwon turned to Heeseung and spoke

<< You know, I think Y/n could really be your medicine. Or at least, your antidote against insomnia. >

«But stop... It’s not like that. It was comfortable. And then maybe you’re right. I don’t know how, but I slept well."

Jungwon takes another photo with his phone, this time of Heeseung who seems thoughtful, and shakes his head laughing.

<< I don’t know, Hyung. I think Y/n is your good luck pillow. Maybe we should patent it as part of the team>>

«Come on, Jungwon. Let’s get off and stop taking pictures before Y/n finds you and destroys you.»

As they head for the exit, Heeseung is surprisingly in a good mood, despite the embarrassment. He would never admit it openly, but for the first time in a long time, he feels rested and even a little happier.

Montreal GP (Canada)

The afternoon light is perfect. The clear sky reflects on the calm water of the river, creating a dreamy backdrop for the Prada photo shoot. Heeseung and Jungwon, dressed in elegant suits and luxury shoes, pose with a surprising naturalness for two F1 drivers.

You were there as always on the go: setting up contracts, managing fans huddled behind the barriers, and overseeing every detail to ensure everything went smoothly. But as you turn, you notice Heeseung with an absent-minded look, sitting on a chair between one shot and another. The fatigue is on his face as the makeup artist approaches him with a flirtatious smile. Gently, he fixes his hair, then bends slightly to attract his attention.

'Looking forward to seeing you on the track, Heeseung. You’ll be great as always. Maybe you could bring me a special pass?'

Heeseung looks up, but can’t even pretend to smile. He puts his hand on his face, sighing.

«Yes, sure... thank you. But first I have to sleep at least five hours in a row without waking up if I want to be great on the circuit.»

The makeup artist, surprised, laughs nervously, thinking she is joking.

Well, then stop going out and about! That’s why you’re so tired, right?'

At those words, Heeseung slightly straightened up on the chair and looked at her with a serious expression, almost exasperated and a little annoyed because he wanted to be remembered as a Ferrari champion not as an obsessive from the parties.

«I haven’t been to a party in weeks. The last time I saw a club, they were still playing songs from last year. My problem is not dancing too much... it’s that even when I’m still, I can’t turn off my brain.»

The makeup artist seems to not know how to respond, and she quickly moves away, a little embarrassed.

On the other side of the set, Jungwon, who witnessed the scene, burst into a low-pitched laugh. You were engaged with a contract, lift your eyes in time to see Heeseung lean tired on the chair.

<< Hyung, I can’t believe it. You were so rough on her! You’d usually be the first to flirt with me, but I know your charm is slowly disappearing. >>

«Ah, yes? Flirting? Not even the way that word is written, Jungwon. I’m too tired to even think about it.» He said, standing with his hair and slapping himself on the face to wake up,

Jungwon keeps laughing but the joking tone fades when he sees how exhausted his teammate is. You approach him by observing.

"Heeseung, maybe you should take a day off after this shoot. It wouldn’t help anyone to see you collapse on the track Sunday, I’ll cut you off at a small event in Montreal"

«Thank you, Y/n. But every time I try to rest, it seems to me to waste time. As if I was wasting an opportunity to improve, I could train or I know how to watch the telemetry of the machine but the problem is that I am exhausted.»

You crossed your arms, looking at him with an expression that is halfway between reproach and understanding.

"You’re not wasting anything if you take care of yourself. And for the record, you look more dead than alive. Even the products and make-up artists of Prada cannot cover certain dark circles."

Jungwon laughs again, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

<< Y/n is right. Maybe you should seriously ask for a set of Prada pillows made extra-sized for you, maybe those help you sleep better. >

Heeseung giggles slightly, shaking his head. Despite the fatigue, he is grateful for the presence of the two. He would never admit it openly, but Jungwon’s irony and Y/n’s concern help him to keep his feet on the ground.

Heeseung stands up and stretches and looks at you.

«Don’t worry, I’ll sleep. Sooner or later and when I’m well rested before I beat all the competition on the track and then I’ll go to celebrate, Y/ n is for a while that there are no dramas about me or gossip!»

The free practice had gone surprisingly well. Heeseung had found a good pace, the team was satisfied, and even the journalists seemed less insistent. However, as he walked in the paddock towards the Ferrari camper, he looked like a rag. The dark circles were deeper than ever, and his movements showed how tired he was.

In the living room of the camper, Jay and Sunghoon were waiting for him and both had noticed that something was wrong, but they also knew that Heeseung hated to admit his weaknesses.

'Hey, Hyung. I got to show you something. Maybe I’ll give you some advice on how to be Pole tomorrow.' said Jay smiling with a grin

"I hope it’s a new race strategy because everything else is a blur."

Jay hands him the phone, showing a photo taken by Jungwon. In the image, Heeseung sleeps soundly with his head resting on your shoulder, his arm around your waist, while you look completely stiff and visibly uncomfortable.

'Look at this. The real winning strategy: it’s the human cushion. Maybe we should add it to the race plan for Sunday.'

Sunghoon, sitting a short distance away, bends forward to look at the picture better, bursting with laughter.

<< Oh my God, Hyung, you’re like a baby who can’t sleep without his favorite blanket! >>

"It’s not what it looks like! It was just... boh, a coincidence. I was tired and she was there."

'Sure? Because you don’t look so random in this picture. You look rather... comfortable.'

Sunghoon with a clever smile

<< Maybe you should do a scientific experiment. You know, to see if it’s your antidote. But to do it right, you should sleep with it. And I mean really sleep, not do the usual things you do with girls>>

Heeseung looks at him with an expression between amused and disoriented.

"You two are impossible. And no, it won’t happen. It’s Y/n, okay? She hates me enough without me asking her that."

But later that night, as he looked at the clock at 10:30 p.m., something stuck in his head. He really needed to sleep, and against all logic, he couldn’t get out of his mind the possibility that you could help him in some absurd way.

With a sigh and against his "values", he stood up and headed for the door of your room. Knocked twice, then leaned on the doorframe with his usual flirtatious grin, trying to look casual despite the heart beating hard and opened the door, crossing his arms and looking at him suspiciously

"What do you want, Heeseung? It’s late. Shouldn’t you be sleeping already?"

Hee bowed his head, a Playboy smile.

«I was thinking... maybe you want to keep me company. You know, let’s talk, read one of those romance books or something.»

You stared at him, raising an eyebrow. You know that tone and smile, and you usually can’t stand it but there’s something different in his eyes: there’s no usual security, and under that mask, he looks really tired and vulnerable.

"Heeseung, spit the toad. Why are you really here? I don’t think to talk about books."

«Okay, okay. You’re right. I just... can’t sleep, and the last time, on the plane, I slept so well. And I thought maybe...» he looked down, scratching his neck.

"...that sleeping next to me might help you again. I understand?"

«More or less. But don’t get me wrong! Nothing else, only of course if you also do not want to try something as beautiful as me. But this evening I just want to sleep. I swear.»

You would want to kick him out because you can’t stand him but at the same time he seems hurt if he came to you, one of the few people who stood up to him and that you didn’t fall into his flirtations. You sighed and opened the door to let him in.

"God, what am I doing wrong to deserve to see it 24 hours a day? If I agree, promise not to snore and not invade my side of the bed. If I catch you touching me"

Heeseung raised his hands in surrender and smiled at you

«Promised. I’ll be more discreet than a cat»

"If I regret this decision, I swear you will never see a contract signed by me again."

Heeseung smiles as he enters the room, but this time it’s a genuine smile, lifted. Maybe for once, she will let herself be helped.

You were standing in front of the bathroom mirror, with a seemingly endless collection of bottles and creams arranged neatly on the shelf. The Weeknd resonates in the background from your phone, filling the environment with the sensual notes of "Earned It".

On the other side of the room, Heeseung was leaning against the bathroom door, watching you with a funny curiosity. He’s not sure what he’s looking at: the complex skincare routine or you with only a slightly wide shirt and short shorts that made him go crazy.

«Are you sure you want the ticket for that Korean band of K-pop? Can I give you all this, god how much money are you spending on skincare, are you sure that everything you’re putting on your face is not... excessive?»

You raised an eyebrow while gently smearing a cream on your face

"Heeseung, if you could understand something more than soap and shampoo, maybe you wouldn’t have the skin of a 12-year-old under stress. These steps are necessary."

«Don’t overdo it. My skin is perfect as it is. But, tell me, is this all for me? Are you trying to impress me or is it for your future prince charming?»

You puff silently but can’t help but giggle as you grab another bottle.

"For you? Don’t make me laugh. I do it for myself and when I’m old I won’t need to get my face punctured. Although maybe you could learn something instead of standing there humming The Weeknd like a teenager in love."

Heeseung pretends to be offended, taking a hand to his heart.

«First of all, The Weeknd is also one of my favorite artists. Second, I’m not humming... I’m singing with passion.»

With a mischievous smile, he begins to hum the refrain of "Earned It", emphasizing the words with an overly intense look towards you:

«Cause, girl, you’re perfect... You’re always worth it... » Isn’t this a perfect song for both of us? You know, with your obsession for perfection and my natural charm?"

You stopped for a moment, staring at him with an expression that was somewhere in between fun and disbelief.

"Maybe you mean it’s a song about how hard it is to win someone’s favor? Yeah, maybe he’s in. But trust me, you’re not exactly the romantic protagonist he describes."

Heeseung laughs and leans over the sink next to you, staring at you as you put on eye cream with extreme precision.

«You know, if I were your romantic protagonist, I would be much more convincing than those perfect guys that you read in your books, I could make you feel the same things they make their "loved ones" feel but in a real way. And you wouldn’t need all these creams, I would make you shine naturally!»

You stared at him with an exasperated expression, but you could not help blushing slightly.

"Can you stop flirting for five minutes? Amazingly, you can find the energy to say this nonsense even when you seem on the verge of collapse."

Heeseung chuckles, raising his hands in surrender.

«All right, all right. But I know that underneath you like this whole Y/n thing, and you’d be super bored working with people like Jay or Sunghoon, right?»

You didn’t answer, just turning off the bathroom light and heading for bed. And he still follows you smiling.

As you lie down, with Heeseung visibly calmer but also a little stiff, you observe him from the underside.

"Why do you seem so uncomfortable? Has anyone ever asked you to just sleep with someone or do you always chase them away before trying to sleep?"

Heeseung moves slightly, staring at the ceiling. It’s hard for him to admit things, but you don’t let him out.

«It’s not exactly... what I’m used to.»

You can’t help laughing, covering your mouth with a hand so as not to wake up any neighbors.

"Relax, Heeseung. I won’t jump on you. You can relax for once in your life."

He turns to look at you, with an expression between the amused and the mortified.

«Thank you for the reassurance. Not that I was afraid! , you would rather sleep with a wolf than with me knowing you, Y/n»

"No, of course. You’re not afraid of anything. Except maybe to admit that sometimes you need someone."

That phrase leaves him speechless for a moment. But as he closes his eyes and finally lets go, he realizes that Y/n may be right.

The morning light was filtering through the window, illuminating the hotel room. You had been awake for a few minutes, but it hadn’t moved yet. You were held back by a strange feeling. Perhaps it was the weight of Heeseung’s arm that, while sleeping blessed beside you had moved too close to your breast.

You sighed, trying not to think too much. You simply had to move it without waking him, that’s all, and gently took his wrist, but at that moment Heeseung moved.

Instead of walking away, he murmured something incomprehensible and pulled you even closer to him, as if you were his personal stuffed animal. His hand, meanwhile, slipped under your shirt caressing the skin of your side in a distracted way, until its fingers reached your back, gently touching your spine.

You felt a shiver all over your body. It was a completely unexpected feeling and not to happen especially with Lee Heeseung.

"I can’t believe it. This is a nightmare. "

He, meanwhile, was sleeping soundly, with a puppy-like expression completely unaware that his head was resting close to your neck, the messy hair touching your skin and tickling you. You tried to move a little bit more but the grip tightened slightly and you held your breath. Heeseung moved slightly, his face sinking a little deeper into his neck.

«Where do you think you’re going?» He murmured in a husky voice, still soaked with sleep.

You felt a shiver running down your back. "I didn’t want to wake you," you whispered in a neutral tone.

He chuckled softly, a low laugh that vibrated against your skin. «Don’t worry... I wouldn’t wake up for anything in the world if it wasn’t for you.»

You looked up because even in the early morning he was flirting and there was always that usual pinch of mischief in his voice. Before you could answer, you felt his hand slip under your shirt, so slowly that it seemed studied.

"What are you doing?" you asked, trying to keep his cool.

He caressed your side uncovered, the touch light but enough to make you feel the skin burning. «I’m thanking my miracle cure» he replied. «I haven’t slept so well in months... and you made it all possible.»

You stiffened, but you did nothing to stop him. You felt Heeseung’s hand move gently as if he were trying to memorize every line of your body. The warmth of his fingers was almost hypnotic, and for a moment you let go, closing your eyes.

«You know, you should relax more often» he continued, his voice soft and sweet. «You are not like the others... And I like this.»

"Don’t be stupid, Heeseung, they’re not like those perfect models you hang out with. And anyway, I don’t like physical contact, so..."

Before you could finish the sentence you felt his slightly calloused fingers touch a cape and unintentionally you raised your back and he lifted his head, his dark eyes staring at you with an unexpected seriousness. «Don’t say nonsense», he slowly lifted your old pajama shirt and began to kiss you from the navel with light kisses until they reached your breast with one hand he squeezed it slightly and then laid his lips and started to tease you; he would lick it, slightly nibble it and hold it for you «You are beautiful, Y/n. More than you can imagine. And I don’t want you to get paranoid about these things, do we understand?» you nodded your head and Heeseung kept leaving little kisses all over your body and with his big hands he held one side of you and the other always a tit

You looked down, trying to hide the blush that was coloring your cheeks. "Heeseung..."

«Shhh» interrupted you, placing a finger on your lips. «I’m not flirting. Not this time, god this breast is made for my big hands and I want to make you feel like my dick is already hard just because of you, Y/n.»

You look uncertain, But there was something in his expression that made him soften and he laid slightly above you with a quick movement he rubbed his length into your pussy still covered by some short shorts and succinus misery was hard, and for those few seconds. You heard it could have been imagined that it was also great. "Look, if you want to thank me, do it by winning on Sunday, okay?"

He laughed softly, a laugh that seemed to dispel all tension. «All right, boss, but if I win I want something in return» You saw how he looked at your whole body and after a while stood up and winked at you before leaving.

Heeseung, who has just left his P2 qualification, heads to the interview area with contagious energy, ready to do his usual show. He’s smiling, charming, and was terribly annoying to you.

You were a few steps away from him, with your phone in hand, recording every word to avoid misunderstandings or fractions that could turn into tabloid headlines. But as Heeseung was getting in front of the cameras you knew he wanted to make a show.

The first journalist hands him the microphone, smiling.

Journalist 1 :

"Heeseung, you missed the pole by a few tenths. Do you think the race step will be enough to turn things around tomorrow?"

Heeseung :

'Sure, tomorrow I’ll give it all. But if you want to know my strategy in detail... I promise that I’ll explain it to you, as long as it brings me luck.'

The emphasis on the word "luck" is accompanied by a wink that makes half of the room laugh. You snort loudly, attracting the attention of one of the press officers who looks at her confused.

With the second journalist, however, Heeseung is at his best.

Journalist 2 :

"Tomorrow will be a tough race. Sunghoon seems to have an advantage, but do you think it will be a duel between the two of you?"

Heeseung :

(with a mischievous smile)

'My duel is always with Sunghoon, but you know what? If I had you by my side at the wall box, I would win without problems.'

You put down the phone with an incredulous expression, mumbling.

"Eight hours of sleep and he’s already turned into the usual serial flirter. I should have kept him awake."

When Heeseung comes back to you, visibly satisfied with himself you stare at him.

"Congratulations on the qualification, Casanova. But if you don’t win tomorrow, I swear I’ll take that microphone and make you eat it."

«Calm Y/n, you should be as refreshed as you were this morning with me! It was just to keep the atmosphere light, in this place they are all so boring and obsessive with the coldness of Sunghoon."

You slapped him lightly and pursed his keys.

"Relax, of course. Too bad I have to answer your fans in delirium on Twitter.»

You were a bundle of nerves sitting in the Ferrari box watching the race of Heeseung. From the start, Sunghoon had taken the lead, taking full advantage of the straight speed of his Red Bull but Heeseung, however, kept calm, studying every corner of the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, known for its technical braking and the famous "esse" of the Casino.

The decisive moment came in the last ten laps, when a small collision caused two cars to come out and the Virtual Safety Car came out that allowed Heeseung to switch to softer and fresher tires. Upon returning to the track Hee flew with his red fire car and showed all his power and agility, bend after bend began to gnaw the advantage of Sunghoon.

With three laps to go, the overtaking reached the final chicane just before the Champions Wall. With a breakaway at the limit, Heeseung joined Sunghoon and, despite fierce resistance, took the lead in the race with an impeccable trajectory.

Crossing the finish line in first position, you had tears in your eyes because it was 6 months since you did not win and the whole team hugged you and you ran under the podium.

On the podium, his smile was brighter than the sun reflecting on the gold trophy. He sprayed champagne with a contagious energy, wetting Sunghoon, who laughed defeated, and Jungwon, who occupied the third step. You watched from the edge of the track, crossing your arms but with a smug smile.

"He’s finally back to win, at least now he’ll stop tormenting me for how much he missed winning." You muttered in a low voice

When the celebrations on the podium ended, the group headed towards the river near the circuit, a special tradition to celebrate Canadian Grand Prix victories. The crowd of fans had already gathered along the banks, shouting and cheering as the drivers and team approached the water.

Heeseung was euphoric, almost in a trance. With a sure gesture, he unlaced the top of the pilot’s suit, letting it fall on his hips and with a fluid movement, he also took off his shirt, revealing his sculpted chest and toned muscles under the sunlight.

The crowd exploded in shouts and applause, as dozens of phones took photos and recorded videos.

You stopped suddenly when Hee took off her shirt and your eyes were fixed on the slightly tanned skin but especially in his toning muscles that covered all of his toned body.

"Oh. My God. Really? Did he have to take off his shirt? Wasn’t the Playboy smile and the Greek statue body enough? This is ridiculous, tomorrow there will be all the social media invaded by him." you said in a low voice not making you heard from anyone.

You tried to look away, but your eyes inevitably returned to follow every movement of Heeseung. The sun was shining on his skin, and the champagne drops from the podium were still visible. He ran his hand through his hair, wet and messy, before approaching the edge of the river.

Heeseung turned to you with a provocative smile, having noticed your eyes following him before he jumped into the river and yelled at you.

«Y/n! What are you doing there all serious? You’re not judging me, are you? Come on, admit it, this physique is not bad, right?»

"I’m not judging you. I’m just trying to figure out if you have a social media contract, since every move you make ends on the net!"

Heeseung gets up, diving into the water with a spectacular dive. When he emerged, he passed his hands over his face and hair, casting another amused look, and winked at you.

When he got back to the small wooden pier he came close to you who had a light towel and looked at you with a smile that would have made thousands of his fans crazy but it was only for you at that moment and with a little laugh she undid her head and small drops of water mixed with champagne they flooded your body and a slight redness took possession of your cheeks and you thought:

"This guy will drive me crazy. And not in the professional sense of the term."

«So? Have you seen something that you like?»

"Yes. Your suit, which for some reason you’re not wearing. Do you want a tip? Get back to putting it on, before someone makes an awkward photo montage."

Heeseung laughed

«You’re too stiff, Y/n. Should you relax a little bit by maybe taking a bath... with me?»

You pointed your finger at his still-wet chest.

"Keep it up, Heeseung, and you’ll see that the next bathroom is with the whole PR team, but to save yourself from trouble."

«All right, all right! Only because today you were my medicine even off the track.»

When you returned to the hotel, you promised yourself to ignore him for the rest of the day. But as he walked before you, you could not help but take one last look at his carved back.

"There is no hope. This guy is a continuous temptation the red devil."

It was Saturday night and you were finally enjoying some relaxation at home, away from the chaos of paddocks, interviews, and especially Heeseung. You had dinner with your friends and after weeks of going through the circuits, you felt like a normal person for a moment. But, of course, your phone decided to remind you who you really were: the PR of the most problematic (and irresistible) driver of the moment.

While your friends were laughing at another joke you saw the phone screen light up with the name you feared most: "Heeseung".

With a heavy sigh, you already know that you would never spend a quiet evening.

"What do you want, Hee?"

On the other end of the line, Heeseung seemed agitated, almost desperate and there was music in the background.

'Y/n! Thank goodness you answered. Look, I went out with Jake and Jay at the Twiga, just to relax a bit, nothing like that... but a paparazzo caught me with a glass of wine while talking to a fan.'

You closed your eyes, holding back an exasperated groaning

So? Where’s the problem, Heeseung? It’s not the first time you've ended up in these situations, by now people know that you have lived off the track and that you go to have fun and I doubt it will be the last.'

'Y/n, it’s not like it seems, and don’t get mad! I was just having a chat, I swear. The fan came over, asked me for a picture, and then he said something to my ear. But I promise you, nothing strange! Just that, you know how paparazzi are, It seemed... well she was kissing me"

You feel a mixture of frustration and resignation grow inside you.

"Heeseung, I don’t need to know the details. Really. You can do what you want with girls, it’s not my business but I’m just tired of this situation..."

On the other side, there was a moment of silence. Then, Heeseung spoke in an unusually serious tone.

'Y/n... Nothing happened. Really. You know I don’t want to ruin everything with this nonsense especially now that I’m adjusting the rhythm on the track." You got up from the restaurant table, away from your friends to find a quiet corner.

"So, if there was nothing, why are you calling me? You know I’ll do what I always do: I’ll fix the situation, I’ll make the photos disappear, and keep your image intact. But, honestly, I’m starting to think you enjoy making me feel bad, every time I’m not with you you always do one."

On the other side of the line, Heeseung looked almost wounded.

'This not so. I know I give you a lot of work, but I didn’t want this thing to come to you. I just... I trust you. And I don’t want you to think bad of me.'

"I don’t think badly of you, Heeseung. It’s my job. Only... sometimes it would be nice to spend a Saturday without having to make up for something."

Sorry. I do. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again."

"All right. Send me everything: photos, videos, anything that can help me solve it. And, Heeseung... Maybe next time you won’t get too close to anyone, even just to talk. You know that it takes one click to blow up the internet."

Heeseung laughed slightly but in a sincere tone

"Promise. Thank you, y/n. You’re the best, you know?"

"I know. And now leave me alone, I want to finish the evening without any more surprises."

All right, all right. Good evening...and don’t think too much, see you in Belgium.'

You hung up and snorted, god could not stand it when it was like that and the words of Jay resonated in your head << You know that Mercedes is looking for a PR for next season, if Heeseung makes you work even when you shouldn’t think about it because I don’t cause trouble and my other teammate too>

Spa Gp (Belgium)

The Friday and Saturday passed quickly, between technical briefings and free practice. Spa was a track that gave many riders the creeps, but Heeseung loved it. The fast curves, the slopes, the iconic Eau Rouge: it was everything he loved about racing and gave him that adrenaline that made him vibrate with its light.

When the time came for qualifying, Heeseung looked like a man on a mission. The atmosphere in the paddock was tense, dark clouds over the circuit threatened rain, but he was as concentrated as ever. He got into the car, ready to give his all and take another pole position because he was a magician in the dry ride.

In the first fast lap, he had already shown that he was fit. He was clean, precise, and almost surgical in his trajectories and his radio engineer was enthusiastic.

Engineer :

"P1 for now, Hee! Great job, but Jay is behind by a tenth."

His second lap was even more impressive. He passed the Eau Rouge with the gas completely open, the car seemed to dance under him. In the final part of the track, under a sky now black as ink, he managed to gain more fundamental milliseconds.

When he crossed the finish line, the clock was clear: he was in pole position.

Engineer :

"P1 ! Pole position! Heeseung! You’re a monster!"

Heeseung banged his hands on the steering wheel for happiness and when he turned on the radio he shouted 'P1 baby! The car is a lightning bolt I can’t wait for tomorrow to fight for victory.

At the finish line, Heeseung raised his fist as he stepped out of the car in victory, while everyone in the Ferrari pit was exploding with cries of joy.

After qualifying you were back in the Ferrari motorhome, watching the replay of Heeseung’s lap. It was amazing, as always. But you couldn’t share the team’s enthusiasm.

When he came back, still euphoric, he approached you with that smile that usually could melt anyone.

«So, my favorite PR what does she think about the ride? Impressive, right?»

He passed you to go up in his motorhome with crossed arms.

"Yes, it was a good lap. But we’ll see tomorrow in the race. Pole doesn’t count if you don’t take the result home."

Heeseung froze, slightly surprised by the coldness in your voice.

«Wow, you are the queen of the tifo, eh? Come on, Y/n a little enthusiasm! I gave everything today and it’s not everyone to pole at Spa!» You raised an eyebrow, keeping your icy gaze.

"Heeseung, you know that what you do on the track is great, and don’t need me to tell you, you’re fated and if it’s not this year next year you’ll be fighting for the world championship."

He stopped, surprised by your voice. He had noticed the hardness of your words and never had seen you so distant.

«Come on, don’t do that. What’s wrong?»

You were unable to hold back, opened the door of his motorhome room, and entered both.

"You’re treating me like a puppet, Heeseung! Every weekend it’s the same! You get what you want, flirting with everyone, and you always get in trouble, the executives of Ferrari call me to solve your problems even during weekends off. I’m tired of being your PR!"

Heeseung tried to approach, but you stopped him with a cold look.

"I want to look around. Maybe it’s time I had a chat with someone like Jay or Sunghoon, see if in Mercedes or Red Bull they treat me as a person and not as a slave of your ego."

Your words struck Heeseung like a stab. His heart stopped for a moment, and an unexpected wave of jealousy swept over him without warning. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The idea that you could look around, away from him, drove him crazy.

Hee this time approached you and with a low, furious voice said to you

«Don’t make me say what I think. Don’t test me.»

He had an expression of anger on his face and you did not back down, rather challenged him with your gaze with the same intensity. The tension between you was palpable, the air seemed to overheat. Then, in a sudden and determined movement, Heeseung grabbed you by the wrists and pushed you against the wall.

«If you think that someone else looks at you like this or that you deserve in their life you are wrong, now I’ll show you what it means to be with me, Y/n.»

His warm breath touched your skin, and you were paralyzed for a moment. But there was no fear in his eyes. Only anger and frustration.

"What do you want from me, Heeseung? Why can’t you treat me like a person?" And I pushed him slightly to run away from him

His body was contracting, but at that moment something in Heeseung snapped. He wanted you, only you, and felt the anger grow inside him like a fire. He came even closer, so much so that his breath felt caress your skin. Then, without warning, he kissed you with force.

The kiss was intense, almost violent as if trying to communicate everything we could not say. Heeseung’s mouth moves against yours with a rush that surprised you but however much you wanted to resist, you couldn’t ignore the attraction between you two, that tension that had bound you from the beginning.

He gently pulls your hair with one hand and holds your jaw with the other, deepening the kiss, practically sticking his tongue in your mouth and establishing dominance from the beginning, Your hands fall on his muscular shoulders and you draw him closer to you and your hips come desperately close to his to quench your thirst. It is a huge boost to his ego of Heeseung when he hears you moan something indestructible and with his big brawn lifts you slightly and puts you in the small raised bed where before the race they did the massages, you slightly spread your legs with one hand and stands between you two. You had the perfect hair, the cherry lip dye that you used to use in your face, the chest that lifts and lowers, and the icing on the cake for Heeseung was to see you wearing a bra as sexy and red as his car as well as his favorite color.

« Fuck, did you do it on purpose to wear this bra? Who would have thought that my PR wore sexy braces so short that she didn’t look like a good girl anymore.»

Heeseung had begun to attack your neck, his lips clinging to every inch of your skin and leaving beautiful red marks. You would tell him to be careful not to make them too evident but you were in a state of trance and pleasure when you felt a hand of Hee come down where your little skirt was to slightly pinch your thighs full, Until he made little circles inside your already slightly wet panties and starts rubbing against his hand, not caring how Hee couldn’t help but smile as he moved his lips towards your full bosom.

He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible before catching one of your nipples in his mouth and slowly pulling him into the tufts that he had long for his mullet haircut.

"I am not your property, Heeseung. You do not own me. I will never be." You heard a light laugh coming from the boy who was sucking your nipples in his closet and this time he pinched the flesh of your thigh and screamed from pain but also from excitement. " Heeseung"

Hee laughed and his hands found the edge of your red Ferrari skirt that you had to use as a uniform during the summer gp and thanked the stylist for giving him this opportunity to touch you thanks to that skirt.

«Mmm, if you weren’t mine you wouldn’t be here moaning my name Sweetie! See your panties wear my favorite PR» Heeseung saw that you had a red lace outfit even underneath your panties and formed a grin bowed slightly and took one of your legs if he put it over his shoulder and with his fingers slightly calloused you he moved his panties and smiled when he saw you were already totally soaked for him.

You leaned against the cold wall while Hee put two fingers in. At first, he was slow and careful. He wanted to give you the chance to back off if you didn’t feel comfortable enough to do all this with him but when he realized that you really wanted it, he allowed himself to relax and start his work. His steady rhythm did not last long: every second that passed, he pushed only faster, wishing to hear you groan again and again. He kept looking up from your chest, watching your expressions and smiling to himself as he alternated sucking your breasts, especially your full and hard buds, and left marks everywhere in your body. You began to move your hips towards his hand, desperately chasing even more pleasure.

His fingers went deeper and from your mouth came sounds that Heeseung was ecstatic and thought every time he touched himself when he thought of you.

«Tell me,» said Heeseung. You heard it but did not answer. «What it’s like to get fingered by a guy you can’t stand but at the same time that makes you feel all these feelings and we’re doing it where everyone could hear or see us, Y/N!» you have silenced Hee by quickly pulling his hair, your free hand clings to his shoulders, your nails are embedded in the skin exposed by his toned and muscular physique for the many hours of training.

"Hee...it’s so beautiful" you replied moaning and the boy next to you was overwhelmed with adrenaline and groans for praise. You were soaked and with the thumb tickled even more your clitoris and did not stop giving pleasure just as you were about to reach orgasm Heeseung believed that he came too while he felt liquid wet boxer shorts and had slightly hard balls. It hides its face in the hollow of your neck, now stimulating your clitoris with its thumb and making you go into a frenzy.

«Come for me», mumbles right against your ear. A shiver runs through your back before you succumb and the knot in your stomach melts. Heeseung kept you while you were coming, trying with all his might not to go with you because not only would it be embarrassing but also because you would surely have made fun of him.

Heeseung pulled out his fingers once you calmed down. You smiled because you still did not have the energy to talk and say what you thought about everything that happened in that closet...nor did you have the energy to do anything else. Heeseung smiled at you with a grin as he was busy wiping his fingers using his mouth, naturally and winked at you and his look became darker, more intense, and without saying a word, he slowly released it. He pulled down your skirt and went to get the shirt that he had taken off and put it back on you as if you were his favorite doll and put in your ear gently a fluttering tuft that you had in your hair and slightly lowered to your ear and said «It doesn’t end here, Y/n. You are mine and you will be forever»

In Belgium Heeseung won the race and in Hungary, things went well for Hee came p3 but Y/n did not want to sleep with him or stay next to him for that 2 gp pretended that nothing happened between them two and stayed as much as possible with Jungwon. In Holland, Hee felt very tired and wanted to sleep with Y/n but both he and she were embarrassed and they were mostly stubborn, which was a disaster for the Ferrari in general Hee went crashed and when he came back in his boxer pissed and looked coldly Y/n, He absolutely wanted to talk with you but before there were the briefing and interviews to do and when he arrived in the room was exhausted and slept and no 4 hours, on Sunday they arrived in the points area miraculously both him and Jungwon. He just wanted to relax and find a way to talk to you and perhaps knowing all your habits knew where you were at that time and a small smile took possession of his face.

He knew you were probably in the pool, as you often did after a hard day, trying to relax. When he arrived he saw you swimming smoothly, your arms drawing elegant lines in the water, fully concentrated as if you were trying to clear your mind. Heeseung watched your body move, as usual, but this time it wasn’t just admiration. There was desire, anger, and a strange feeling of possessiveness that he could not suppress.

He approached slowly, his heart beating fast and when you noticed him you stopped looking at him with that mix of confusion and challenge that he liked so much but now it seemed more difficult to face. Without thinking too much, he took off his shirt, despite the back pain, and immersed himself in the water with determination. Every fiber of his body cried against his physical state, but he wanted you close.

«Don’t run away, Y/n. I’m tired of playing these games»

You tried to get away but Heeseung reached out, took you by the wrist, and held you firmly. His warm breath touched your skin and you felt a shiver run down your back. You were trapped, but not in the way he thought. It wasn’t fear, you were confused by all the feelings you had for him.

«Why don’t you look at me? I won’t let you go and you know it. I want to see you give in.» You stared at it, and the beating of your heart increased while your body struggled between the desire to escape and the attraction that felt growing. Then, without warning, Heeseung came even closer, his hands touching you gently, but with an intensity that left no doubt. It slid down your skin, from arms to hips, and you couldn’t help but feel that sensation.

«You are mine, Y/n. You always have been, only you don’t want to admit it.»

His words were a sweet poison, a game you no longer knew how to play. You felt Heeseung’s hands touching you in a possessive way, as if he wanted to mark you as if he wanted to remind you that despite your attempts to get away from him you had never been truly free of him.

You tried to push him away but Heeseung wouldn’t let go. With a quick movement, he kissed you. It wasn’t a sweet kiss, but a violent one. His lips pressed against yours with urgency, while Heeseung’s hands went into your legs and carried them around her waist. You pushed him slightly, but he, with a cry choked by desire and frustration, pulled you even closer and you tied your arms around his floor.

«Don’t pretend that it doesn’t drive you crazy. I know what you want. I can see it in your eyes.»

You looked up and started to pull his hair slightly while he sucked your neck and bit it slightly and between the breathless breaths you said:

"You can’t... you can’t... not with me, I don’t want to be another one of your stupid awards. I’m more than this Heeseung."

Heeseung kissed you again, but with a fierce rage as if he was trying to take possession not only of your body but also of your soul.

«I need you Y/n, not as my prize but as my girlfriend. God, from the first day I saw you, you drive me crazy, you’re the only one who can hold my head, the only one who hates my flirting, and the only one who can understand me and see not only the F1 driver but also my most vulnerable part» You felt your heart beat like crazy and you did yes with your head and while accompanying you in his room he never took off his hands from your body and when you reached his room immediately pushed you into his large bathroom where from the large window of saw all the panorama of the city and the sunset in the darkness.

You could feel the heat radiating from his body, feel his gaze crossing your face. His eyes stopped on your lips and smiled again, With the air of fun and when he put you under the jet of water shivered a little until you felt the big hands of Heeseung soapy gently all over your body and made you a small soap bubble by pressing lightly a jar of soap to relieve the tension between you two and when he saw you laugh slightly he hugged you and washed your hair gently. «God, how good it is to feel the bath foam I use on you Y/n, I can not wait to fuck you and to smell your scent against mine» he leaned forward, catching your lips in another kiss and you moaned needy in his mouth, pressing your hips against his and he unlaced the little triangle costume you had and when your breast came out with one hand he held you still and with the other started to bite your sensitive bud both because of the excitement but also of the hot water coming down and It gave you slight chills After a while he moved to release the piece under your bra and bent slightly. You groaned as his teeth sank into your thigh, giving a strong sucking so as to leave its mark. " I guess I won’t wear skirts and shorts so soon I’ll have to put on the autumn uniform even with 30 degrees..." You didn’t mean it because God, wanted everyone to see the signs that he left for you.

«I guess not, every time I saw you in that red-hot skirt I always felt my cock getting hard because of you» he growled as he left you some more lollipops along the inside of your thighs, enjoying how you were writhing under him and groaning his name.

His tongue slid along the outer part of your pussy, flattening against the length, then sliding his tongue up and down the crack, plunging just past the entrance to your core. The little jolts and tremors that flowed through your body, together with your choking moans and high-pitched whimpers were absolute perfection for his ears, and Hee turned off the hot water and buried her face as deep as possible. It was intoxicating, the taste of your pussy, sweet and slimy with your excitement, and practically drooling on it was seriously fucked by your body, how you moaned his name, how you teased him every day, and how only you could understand it and have it all for yourself.

«I thought you couldn’t stand me or to be honest that you hated me at the beginning of the F1 season but now look at you are here moaning my name» You pulled Heeseung’s hair slightly and said, "I never hated you, but sometimes you’re so damn annoying that it’s hard to be your PR or stand by you."

"God, please," you complained, the voice that grew faint in a slight groan at the end as Hee ate your soggy pussy as if there was no tomorrow. Until then you had forgotten what pleasure was. His long callused fingers surrounded your wet pussy hole, pushing past your folds to massage against the tensed muscle with every dive of her mouth.

"Hee is even more beautiful than last time, please!" Your back bowed against the cold shower tiles, eyes closed and a low moan in your throat, your body quickly reached the point of no return. «Come for me, Sweetie, only for me»

You pushed your hips forward, rubbing you but you were ripped from that moment of pure bliss when he stuck a long finger inside you and shoved it back and forth quickly pumping it.

His name slipped from your lips in a whisper, his fingers stopped half-thrust. Your pussy was shaking around his finger and kept moving his hand through the bedtime shocks, letting the moment of bliss last as long as possible, watching you keep on wailing and wailing as you came.

«You are so beautiful, Y/n», he whispered as he slowly kissed your lips, his eyes kept wandering up and down the length of your naked figure and he turned on the water and trembled at the contact next to him. " I need you, Hee, please" You started to pump slightly its length and smiled at you «Mm, my favorite PR that asks me to be his, who would ever have thought that my impure dreams become real?» He smiled and leaned forward again, kissing you with small kisses on the neck. His free hand wandered on the lower part of your back caressing your bottom.

«Do you trust me?» you made a sign of yes and slowly took you in his arms and slammed you against the cold shower tiles and slowly with a dry push slid its full length inside you in one single strong and decisive blow and you yelled slightly for the cold contact of the wall and its length within you.

"Hee" you mumbled his name, your legs were wrapped around his hips, and his cock kept diving into you, encountering your desperate whimpers as your hands clenched around his strong biceps that held you tight. Heeseung cursed and dropped his face in your neck and drops of boiling water fell between your bodies and moved a lock of hair from Heeseung and groan pressed against your neck when he took another push.

«Holy shit, why we have not done it before, this body, this pussy is made only for and for no other man» You writhed in place as his hand was clinging to your thigh and around the curve of your back. "Heeseung".

«Fuck Y/n, say my name again, like that. You’re so fucking beautiful with my dick inside of you.» His forehead leaned against yours, nibbling your lower lip, and told you something you would never think of hearing in your life «I love you so much, you make me crazy from morning to night, only you can» He pushed his hips into your tighter hole stronger.

"I love you too, I don’t know...how it happened or when" his lips kissed you avidly, passionately, moving as sharply as her thrusts, Water slippery and you felt his thumb tickling your clitoris, and small moans of pleasure came out of your lips when with a sharp push hit your G-spot.

«Let go, Sweetie, come everywhere on my dick like a good girl you are!» It takes a couple of long, powerful thrusts before you find yourself yelling his name, coming hard on his dick. Your hips are contracting as his cock is sticking deep inside you, The sperm splashes into you and you feel so good after so long after a while Heeseung comes out of you and holds you against his chest, and leaves you some slight caresses that start from the bottom of your back to reach your hips.

«Are you all right? Or was it too much for you, sweetie?» Look up slightly and see him for the first time with a sincere smile, his hair all ruffled and attached to the forehead and with red cheeks because of the heat.

"it was perfect but don’t get your head in the sand, already your ego is big enough, and maybe something else too" You looked slightly down embarrassed, and after a little bit felt Heeseung’s hands take your face and kiss you with lips. «I have to tell you a secret but also you, don’t get too excited» You looked curious and felt his breath next to your ear and said «You’re better than a race won on the last lap»

OMG🌹 i hope you enjoyed this story. Heeseung in my head gives me too many vibes from Ferrari driver, comments are appreciated and also reblogs.

©cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2025.

[the-two-of-clubs]

A r/limbuscompany Reddit thread titled "Why do people refer to Dante as a boy?" had a lot of answers given that frankly depressed me, so I wrote a huge essay. And because it's huge and the Redditors are definitely not going to listen, I'm going to repost it here. For non-Limbus fans, Dante's the game's speaking protagonist of indeterminate gender.

People will just straight up say "I just don't want to use they/them pronouns, it's either he or she and I get to pick, sorry!" and be the top upvoted comment in this thread.

When I encourage you to use they/them pronouns for Dante that's not even because they're nonbinary, it's because it's what Dante is always referred to in the game they're from, and it's because it's a less clunky standin for "he or she" as well. "They" can refer to anyone, that's why it's the single best fit of any common English pronoun for an ambiguous character like Dante. They/them is the only way to refer to Dante without making up a headcanon, whether that be a fan theory that they're Ayin or Benjamin or whatever, or a self insert projection.

They/them is something you (yes you! the reader!) could be getting used to being able to use, for multiple reasons. One of which being for nonbinary people, and another reason being not constantly being forced to assume everyone's gender all the time. To smoothly be able to use language that doesn't constantly exclude women. For example, hearing someone talk about a doctor and immediately leaping to "he/him" is a microaggression, because female doctors are constantly confronted with the assumption that they're either men or nurses.

The more you use they/them pronouns for others, the more natural to you they/them pronouns will seem. And Dante could be a great starting off point for some of you to start doing that. Using they/them pronouns can make somebody's day. It would be real self improvement that matters. You probably know a trans or nonbinary person, whether you know that about them or not.

Some of you are 100% telling on yourselves that you couldn't handle being around a nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns in real life with this thread. The pronouns are so alien and unusable to you you're performing mental gymnastics specifically to get out of using them. Yes, nobody can stop you from using he/him for Dante, knock yourself out I guess. But also, what is your actual reason to do that? And not just some casual excuse that you're throwing out, like "you can't prove Dante's NOT a man" (why not use she/her then, hm? what if she's a woman? at the very least the correct pronoun for this would technically be "he or she", right?) Or "Dante is a male name" (the entire Limbus main cast has male names and you don't see people "he/him"-ing Faust. Seems like a specific issue you guys have with they/them and Dante.) Really ask yourself why. Why ARE you so convinced Dante is a man? No really I'm serious.

And when that question does get asked by OP here, people are arguing in this thread that men are the ones who play Limbus Company, and that of course everyone's calling Dante he/him because almost all gamers use he/him, with the whole self insert argument. Which is dismissal and erasure of women, who apparently don't exist and it doesn't matter if the game's self insert mascot represents them, despite showing up in this thread to tell you that they and their presumably from context also female friends play Limbus. This self insert argument will never make Dante a binary man, it would make Dante another type of nonbinary which is pangender or genderfluid, because Dante represents all players that play them or whichever specific player is playing them, and to refer to Dante as the concept, the gestalt, the infinite-mirror-worlds Dantes that exist on each of our phones, they/them still suffices in a unique way, to pay homage to other players with different genders than you and their Dantes which would match those genders, I think.

Calling Dante "he" is an active choice you're making, going against the way the game refers to Dante.

Using the pronouns that the character always gets referred to in the entire game they're from is the norm. You guys never don't do that, except in cases like this where it's so you can ignore they/them pronouns. You do have an actual reason, conscious or subconscious, to actively change which pronouns you're using. Some of the people referring to Dante as he/him here absolutely have biases that make them unwilling to refer to Dante as they/them and therefore they're going out of their way to contradict the source material, namely transphobia. That might not be you, but it's some of the people you're sharing this take that Dante uses he/him with.

I am under no illusion that Dante is necessarily intended to be nonbinary representation. However, some of your reasons for "he/him"-ing Dante are very much trans exclusionary. "Dante has a masculine frame"... People who look like men to you sometimes aren't men. Heck, sometimes they're cis women. And if this is the first you're hearing of it, yep! That's always been true and you should keep it in mind. We live in a big weird beautiful world. People who look like men to you might be nonbinary and use exclusively "they/them" pronouns for example, and being referred to as "they" rather than "he" might go a long way to their happiness and comfort because of a thing called dysphoria, which can be medically dangerous for people if they suffer too much of it from being misgendered too often. These people can't somehow get a different skeleton structure and look even more androgynous than Dante does in order for you to refer to them respectfully. Training yourself out of jumping to pronouns because of the width of someone's shoulders can do real world good just like training yourself out of jumping to pronouns because of somebody's career. It all helps you act respectfully and challenge your assumptions. And that can start right now right here. You can just refer to Dante or any nonbinary video game character you've been neglecting as they/them, sound it out in your head, nothing is stopping you.

And yes, before someone starts whining that I'm making "too big a deal of this" because I dropped the dreaded T-word that will get me downvoted, Dante isn't real and can't have their feelings hurt by the fact that people keep referring to them as he/him even if they turn out to have been a woman this whole time. I know I am aware. You should know that nonbinary people are reading the posts you're making and seeing how casually and thoughtlessly you're willing to dismiss even the concept of using they/them for a CLOCK who doesn't even have a human FACE let alone an obvious gender, and I for one know that were we to meet, you wouldn't gender me correctly either. You'd take one look at me and thoughtlessly assume you're always right.

Does referring to Dante as anything at all matter directly? No. It's fiction. However, words inspire people. Everyone is just referring to Dante as he/him because everyone else is and it's considered normal. A creative thinker, a leader rather than a follower, is someone who questions what everyone else is doing, and comes to their own conclusions. Coming to your own conclusions is what you will have to do with what I have written here.

For the Tumblr audience this is probably just an unsurprising PSA that Limbus fan Redditors are being weird about they/them pronouns and a bunch of weird arguments they're using to do so. I'm not trying to come after any queer person's he/they or she/her or any pronoun set Dante headcanons in particular here either, you can tell by the explanation of what dysphoria is that's not the target audience. If you headcanon characters having different pronouns when it's not just because you can't be assed to use they/them we're cool that's very cool of you.

[littlebirdygirlywriting]

It’s always immensely fascinating to me when you pit an “I am hated by EVERYONE” character with an “I have no idea who you are; should I?” character. There are always so many ways it can go, and I really like the way this left it.

Also, can I just say I appreciate HOW you characterized the reader?? The medical system is corrupt, nurses are overworked, patients don’t always feel human and aren’t always treated as human… you displayed all this while also showing that there IS humanity as well. There ARE good nurses and there ARE people who care and there ARE people who will do their jobs wholeheartedly, to the best of their abilities, no matter who is lying in that hospital bed.

So often, I see and experience only the negative end of the medical system. (For good reason—there is a LOT of negative experiences for a LOT of people). But it was nice to see a positive(ish? Because Aaron was still a prick) representation of it… even if it is just fiction. It feels like it could maybe actually be possible some day.

Chapter 1: Morphine and Lavender (Frank Castle x Fem!Reader)

okay this is terrifying but hi I am going to share some of my writing! this is just a snippet I wrote cause Frank is always on the brain. thank you tuna team for the encouragement <3

content warnings: hospital, canon-typical violence/gore, mentions of needles, language

word count: 1.1k

Frank was beginning to think they had left him in there to die when he heard a knock. You opened the door with a huff, brushing your hair out of your face before giving Frank a curt nod.

“Alright, hi, sorry, I know I’m not your assigned nurse but everyone in my unit decided to take lunch at the same time, so you are stuck with me at the moment.” you mumbled, barely looking up at Frank as you wheeled your computer stand to his side. You stayed outside of the duct-taped line, but it didn’t seem to bother you much. In fact, you didn’t seem bothered at all. Frank’s eyebrows furrowed together as you pulled up his medical youet, searching for his name.

“Okay, you are Mr…Castle?” you asked, the sound of your mouse clicking echoing in the small hospital room.

He blinked, dumbfounded. “...yes ma’am.”

You nodded, your relaxed (but rather exhausted) expression staying constant even as you said the name that was headlining every newspaper in New York. 

“Mr. Castle, could you give me a pain rating on a scale of 1-10?”

He blinked again. He felt like he had fallen into some sort of alternate universe. His assigned nurse hadn’t talked to him in the few days he’d been here, much less give him treatment he’d give another patient. An innocent patient. 

“Mr. Castle?” you repeated. 

“Right--uh…five.” he said quietly.

At that, you raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down slowly. You eyed the numerous bruises, cuts, and scars he was no doubt covered in, and asked, “That your final answer?” 

Something like a smile itched at his lips, but he forced it down. “...yes.” 

You shrugged, typing something into your computer. “Alright, well at least the painkillers are doing something. I’ll make sure to get a refill for that--” you paused as you looked at the full IV bag of morphine, following the IV down to…the floor.

You grabbed at the IV, looking at the wire and then back to Frank. “Did you yank this out?”

“No, ma’am.”

“The fuck?” you murmured, before understanding seemed to dawn on you. The cuffs, the bright red line of tape, the bruises on his face. Frank waited for disgust, for you to become terrified, for you to spit in his face. Instead, you stubbornly set your jaw and walked back to your computer. 

“Who the hell is your nurse?” you sounded furious, but it didn’t seem aimed at him.

Frank, through his confusion, could only shrug.

You rapidly typed at the keyboard, eyes running up and down the screen. Then you stopped scrolling, eyes narrowing. “Did he have blonde hair? Eagle tattoo on his forearm?”

Frank vaguely remembered the eyes of an eagle staring back at him as he faded in and out consciousness from the pain, a man with blonde hair sneering down at him. He nodded. 

“...motherfucker.” you all but growled, and the sound turned into a jagged laugh. You threw your hands up. “Aaron. Of course it--god fucking…damnit--”

Frank felt he was obligated to ask, or maybe his curiosity got the best of him. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

You laughed humorlessly again, words tumbling out of your mouth. “Oh yeah. I’m just peachy. I haven’t slept in two days, haven’t been in my own bed in almost a week, and all because I need to take extra shifts. Why do I need to take extra shifts? Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I decided to move to New York fucking City where an apartment room costs more than an arm and a leg! And just when I think--oh just when I think I’m gonna get that promotion? No. No, I lose it to Aaron, who won’t even do his goddamn job correctly!” you finished with a burst of gusto, before collapsing down into a chair.

You just sat there for a minute, face buried in your hands, and Frank wasn’t quite sure what to do besides give you the grace of silence. 

The absence of noise was quickly interrupted by your pager going off, and you reluctantly held it up to your vision before sighing and putting it back at your hip. It seemed to snap you back into reality, and you stood up and smoothed down your hair.

“I’m…very sorry about that Mr…” you glanced up at the computer again. “...Castle. I’m--that was unprofessional, it has just been a…very long week.”

Frank’s eyebrows furrowed. “...you really don’t know who I am?” 

You grabbed some gloves from the table and snapped them on. “Someone very humble, I see.”

That got him to laugh, a low rumble that made its way out of his throat. He…couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed. It felt nice. Familiar, even after all this time. 

You shook your head with a small smile, grabbing the IV and sterilizing it. “No, I do not. I’m not even sure what day it is, to be honest.”

He nodded, stretching out his arm for you and making a fist. “But you…I mean they told you…somethin’, right? A warning?”

“I vaguely recall being told to stay behind the red line besides when absolutely necessary, yes.” you said, readying the needle. “Small pinch.” 

He stared, barely registering the sensation of the IV. “...so you…then why would you…?” He tried to find the answer in your face, but all he could see was concentration onyourtask. 

“Why would I…?” you repeated, waiting for him to continue. With the IV in his arm you took your gloves off, typing something on your computer.

“...I don’t know, you’re just being awfully kind.”

You pursed your lips, a hand going to your hip. “I’m not being kind, I’m doing my job. I took an oath to help people, no matter who they were, and that’s what I’m doing. Simple as that.” 

He grunted absentmindedly, his eyes flitting to the window. Ten stories down, New York raged on, lights flashing like fireworks. “Doesn’t seem simple.”

You shrugged. “It is to me.” you started wheeling out your computer. “I’ll be back to check on you in a couple hours. Hopefully that IV will help. If that dipshit comes in here again, you tell him about nurse malpractice. You have constitutional rights, even if you are off robbing banks or whatnot.”

With that, you were gone, the faint scent of lavender left in your wake.

Frank blinked. “...robbing banks,” he mumbled before closing his eyes, letting the numb feeling of morphine finally lull him into sleep.

[acesandocs]

A while ago Calamity told me they headcannon Joey as being of Norwegian decent and I wholeheartedly approve. So here’s Ace helping Joey get into his bunad.

Putting on a sølje is easier when someone else does it for you and its a neat way to have Åse and Joey interact. It ended up looking kinda domestic so now the discord server is down with ÅsexJoey lol, sure why not.

Heres a link to the first post i made about what a bunad and a fest drakt is. if anyone wants to read about it but all you need to know is they're for the most part different things and Ace's outfit is a festrdrak and Joey's is technically a bunad.

on Joeys outfit:

According to Calamity: ‘’I imagine his parents immigrated to the US with his grandparents when they were still young and then met in the US through community’’ which could probably put the time they emigrated around the middle of the 1800s. The modern idea of bunads didn't start appearing until the start of the 1900s and kept developing from there. So most likely his family wouldn't have any bunads to pass down, but maybe some clothes that could be put together to make a bunad.

So I based Joey's on the Oslo 1892 bunad. (Its almost the exact same except for the number of buttons) which was invented post 2010s but was based on fashion from the wealthy in 1890s. Considering the hypothetical time line of when Joey’s family emigrated the suit jacket and vest probably didn't come with them from Norway but the knit socks, søljes and pants could.

The silver jewelry on his neck is called a sølje, i gave him two different types. One is based on the sølje that usually comes with the Oslo 1892 but with a few artistic liberties. The second is a heart sølje that looked like a heart with either a crown or two birds facing each other above it. It was used all over the country but some places more than others like the more southern parts of the country. It was also often a gift given to a lover, maybe it was something one of his grandparents gave to the other.

on Ace's outfit:

I have already designed a fest drakt/bunad for Ace and in that post I mentioned I couldn't find an outfit from the area to base it one so I took some innspo from the Telmark bunad instead because of the color and embroidery that I felt matched Ace’s personality. I did eventually stumble upon a bunad from the are Ace grew up in. The Toten bunad, so I redesigned her Fest drakt based on it. Its not a one to one copy so its technically still a festdrakt.

I still got to add some embroydery but instead its svartsøm on the shirt (or whats supposed to be a simplified representation of it). The apron and band around the waist are woven in a style called tavlebragd which gives it that geometric pattern.

I also gave Ace a headband this time around since her hair is to short to braid when she’s older. So now she still has something going on with her hair. Its just a normal green hair band. Would have added embroidery to it if her design wasn't getting a bit cluttered with all the patterns.

I could explain away the difference in Åse’s festdrakt by saying her old one got lost when they emigrated but idk. I might come back to it and design a new one for her younger self at some point.

As mentioned in the first post im not a clothing historian so some of this might be wrong. I tried simplifying some of th patterns on aces outfit so theyd be easie to redraw so they might not be 100% accurate. I know I also could have just designed a new outfit for joey like I did with ace instead oif basing his on a bunad that wasn't even invented before the 2000s but it takes a lot of energy and research and I’m tired.

[ropebunnykant]

Hi!! What are your thoughts on the confrontations at the empty pool vs the ocean? Obviously the ocean is relevant to kant's past but the juxtaposition of the two is so interesting to me but I can't really figure out if that was just an aesthetic choice or if there's actually something to it.

Looking forward to your thesis about the boat scene!!

omg thank you for asking and i will absolutely be writing an in depth post about the boat scene probably later on cause it was sooo chock full of things and first kanaphan deserves every fucking award possible for that scene

i will say, i think when it comes to analyzing media, there are so few things that are done and chosen "just for aesthetic." i've had other people comment on that when i've talked about the religious imagery, and while yes, aesthetic is important in media and often times can be reason enough for directors and designers to choose them, i would say more often than not there is also meaning behind big choices like set. they put fadel and style in an empty pool for a reason, just as they put kant and bison on the boat for a reason.

now, the boat was likely a very obvious choice for bison because like you said, it's relevant to kant's past and kant told him on their first date that he was scared of the ocean. so, of course tying him up and putting him on a boat surrounded by water to confront him would be the exact sort of psychological torture bison would want to inflict on kant.

but when you compare it to fadel and style, i think it's also a way of representing openness, and in a way it's a representation of each couple.

because fadel confronts style in an empty pool, and he's stripped style almost completely naked. style is laid almost totally bare, and that's true in a literal sense as well as a metaphorical sense, because fadel knows he's a "snitch." and the thing about fadel and style is that while yes, there's been lies and deception there, style has also been very earnest in every way he can be. it was only more recently that he had to start lying for real, and even then he still sneaks in as much truth and openness with fadel as he possibly can. and it's exactly what he does here - even with a gun to his head and fadel telling him not to say he loves him, style still says it because it's true and style doesn't know how to be anything but open and honest with fadel.

and then when it comes to the bison and kant of it all, there's a lot more lies and deception. kant is not laid bare in the same way - bison even has him in essentially a costume by putting him in the patient scrubs. but at the center of it all is the fact that even with all the lies, even with the murky waters, kant has been honest with bison. he's been vulnerable with him. and that's how bison knows putting kant on a boat and telling him to jump overboard is the cruelest thing he could do to him. it's fair game to bison because of what kant did to him, but it also shows that even if bison thinks everything was a lie, there was always some amount of truth to it. because kant never had to give an assassin his biggest fear, but he did it anyways.

i also think the empty pool vs the ocean says a lot about bison and fadel's intentions in the scene, even on a subconscious level. i don't think fadel at any point planned to actually hurt style. maybe he told himself he would, but i think deep down he knew he would never be able to go through with it. so, he puts him in an empty pool where yeah, he can get hurt if he pushes style into it and he hits the floor of the pool, but those injuries likely won't be serious enough to kill him - and he won't drown.

whereas bison, despite likely also knowing he can't actually hurt kant himself, took him somewhere he could make kant do it for him. and even then, it's clear he regrets it as soon as kant hits the water, because he's calling out to him as soon as he jumps off, as if he didn't expect him to actually do it. bison wants to hurt kant but he knows he can't, whereas fadel wants to want to hurt style and knows he can't. and those are two very different things.

[lu-is-not-ok]

Something I just realized is that both Hong Lu and Jia Xichun share Rupture as a part of their kits, but they also both have a secondary element. For Hong Lu it’s Sinking but for Xichun it’s Poise. Feels unique but weird. Thoughts?

See, I've been thinking about status effects in a more general sense as to what they represent more literally. I feel like there's a bit of a difference between Xichun having Rupture+Poise and Hong Lu having Rupture+Sinking, mainly because of what I think those statuses might represent.

Rupture, the status effect both share, is a representation of "true damage". Either damage done to precise weak points, as implied by Seven or Cinq, or damage done with enough power to break through defenses, such as Devyat.

For both Xichun and Hong Lu, I believe it represents their physical prowess and techniques, likely trained into them by the Jia Family.

Poise is a status effect that I believe quite literally represents moving gracefully and with intent. A building up of physical momentum or focus to deal more powerful strikes. Getting into the rhythm of the fight so to say.

This fits Xichun very well as we see she fights with fans, in an almost dance-like fashion. A combat style that would likely focus heavily on moving with intent and keeping up proper focus and momentum.

And while a lot of Hong Lu's IDs move in a graceful dance-like manner as well, they're usually not movements done for the sake of strengthening attacks, but merely for their performance. The only ID of his that does have Poise, Full-Stop, is shown to be explicitly moving with intent in his Uptie Story, weaving in and out to direct enemies into the line of sight of Heathcliff's sniper.

Sinking is an interesting status, as it represents mental, sanity damage. I'm guessing it could represent a lot of things. For the Butler and Dieci IDs, it could represent a sort of overpresent mental pressure. For Spicebush, it could represent the somewhat mind altering nature of the flowers. R Corp Ishmael literally deals damage directly to the psyche. There's a lot it could be, really.

...Which is why base Hong Lu having Sinking is so intriguing to me. Because there's only so much it could represent. Is it a representation of a sort of mental pressure he exerts due to something related to his status? Is he in some way actively taunting the enemy so that they lose resolve? Something else we don't yet know about?

There's also the implication of the juxtaposition of Rupture and Sinking next to each other. Rupture is a very physically-focused status effect, it reflects direct damage to the body. Sinking on the other hand is a very mentally-focused status effect, reflecting damage to the mind. Body and mind.

The very interesting part of this all is that this combination only exists in one other ID as of now - Sunshower Heathcliff. An ID that not only inflicts both Rupture and Sinking, but also gains Sinking as well, a reflection of how the E.G.O gear actively alters the user's mental state. The usage of both Rupture and Sinking here could represent how in Lobcorp terms, this gear could inflict either Black damage, or both Red and White damage. Basically both physical and mental.

So yeah. I think Hong Lu's status combo is much more intriguing than Xichun's, and I'm not sure if the reason for that is the same for both of them. It's a lot easier to explain Xichun's Rupture Poise than it is to explain Hong Lu's Rupture Sinking.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Saturn pt 1

“Life’s better on Saturn, got to break this pattern” -SZA

Pairing: Ex Situationship San x Black reader (reader has locs as well :3)x Maddox

Submission from: @reosbabygurl

Summary: You and San were in a long term situationship that ultimately led nowhere. Time goes by and you're in a new relationship, but how will San take that?

Word Count: 4.2Kish?

Warning: Cheating, toxic behavior, manipulation, gas lighting, rude/mean behavior, clingy, possessive, cursing, arguing, bad relationship, pregnancy mentioned

Smut warning: This chapter  there will be a small smut scene with Maddox, kissing, boob play Eventual - Breeding, kissing, pussy drunk, body worship, needy boy San, Dom San, a bit subby San, dry humping, some anal (Just fingers), phone sex, masturbation,

A/N: I had to tweak it a bit and I don't mention the reader being black with locs until a bit deeper into the story. This story has such a good plot and dialog imo so please give me lots of feedback.

Also, this is not at ALL what I think Maddox acts like T-T, I actually love and adore that man so much but wanted to switch it up with who I added into the story. This is not a representation of how anyone acts, just fun :3

Minors dni

All you ever craved was love, you just wanted to be loved properly, thoroughly, genuinely. Nothing more, nothing less. You spent a good chunk of your 20s in a situationship that ultimately led nowhere. You and San were a perfect example of “right person, wrong time”. You both wanted more from the relationship but in the end you both could never find the right time to commit. It started with you wanting to date him first but he “wanted to get to know each other more” then when he was ready you needed to focus on school. There were times when you both were ready, you both wanted to ask, but the fear of rejection held heavy on both your hearts so ultimately you both decided to fuck your feelings away. Spending endless time with each other, going on dates, kissing, hugging, having sex like any couple would. Just no real title.

But now, you were 24, he was 25 and you wanted more. You wanted to openly and happily be someone’s girlfriend. San had just started his small business, a local toy shop, something you found adorable and admirable. He had finally turned his hobby of collecting plushies and other trinkets into a business, you were proud, but still hurt when he told you he didn’t have time for a relationship at that point. You tried to understand, you wanted to convince yourself that you could wait but realistically, you couldn’t.

His friends threw him a celebratory party, that’s where you met his friend's friend, Maddox. A sweet long haired man, he was 2 years older than San and honestly didn’t even know him. He only came because his friends wanted him out of the house. You spent hours of the party just talking, you could admit, finding a replacement at your situationships probably wasn’t the best idea, but it’s not like you were doing it on purpose. San noticed, how couldn’t he. Even with the many other people begging for his attention, his eyes were fixated on you and the man that got your attention. He had enough of watching and waiting for you to be done and stormed over to you and asked for you to speak to him privately.

You argued. You argued loud enough for the party to start to hear. At that point Wooyoung thought it would be best to end it on Sans behalf. After some hours you broke things off with San, screaming that you never wanted to see him again and that you were done. And you were, you were fed up.

It took time to get over San, it was hard but Maddox really made it better. So now here you are, 2 years later, and you got what you wanted. You got someone who would be serious about you. Maddox was so serious about you that after the first year he proposed. You were not only someone’s girlfriend but now someone’s fiancé.

You stood over the stove in your shared apartment, you were cooking dinner for you and your fiancé. A firm ringed hand snaked its way around your waist.

“Mmm, it smells so good baby.” Maddox said as he planted a kiss on your cheek, his curly bang pieces tickling your face as you giggled.

“You’re actually home, I had to go all out for dinner!” You said with a big smile on your face. Maddox spent a large portion of his time working, he was a producer at an up and coming music company. You loved his passion but hated that that meant less time together, but you stayed understanding.

Maddox nervously released your waist, a weak smile painted on his face. You looked out of the corner of your eye and noticed his strange expression.

“What is it?”

“Well… about that…”

Your expression of comforted happiness immediately changes to disappointment.

“Maddox… you’re kidding right?” You had really hoped he would say he was just messing with you.

“Baby I’m sorry. I swear it’s not on purpose, I promise.”

You fully turned to face him.

“But I was really hoping to spend some time with you, we have so much planning to do, we have so much that needs to be picked out-“

“I know Y/N, I know. I just have to finish this project and I promise my attention will be all yours.” He grabbed you by your shoulders and gave you a reassuring smile. “I promise.”

“I keep hearing promises and not seeing action behind it, Maddox. You promised with your last project that you would help me plan. Our wedding is at the end of the year and it’s already March.”

“Y/N I know when our wedding is.”

“Then act like it.” you shot back.

“If you would just let me focus on getting things done then I could do that, I have to work Y/N, I have things I want to do with my life. You knew what this was when we started dating.” He released you, the tension started to build in the room.

“Whatever, hopefully marrying me is one of the things you want to do in your life eventually.” You turned away from him, returning your attention back to cooking.

“Don’t do that Y/N, don’t act like you’re not my priority. I’m not San-“ Maddox stopped in his tracks. Yes, you told Maddox all about you and San, he wondered why your were at his party that day, so you told him. He knew how much San had hurt you, he knew the situation was hard to move on from, yet every argument San was being mentioned.

“Wait, I’m sorry Y/N.”

“Just go do your project Maddox.”

“Whatever.” He scoffed. Maddox said no more, he left. No fight back, no continued apology. He packed a bag quietly. “I’m going to stay at Eden’s, call me when you’re over it.”

You hated that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. Maddox had a tendency of being hurtful but you were understanding. You knew he was just under a lot of pressure and stress with work. He put up with a lot of your baggage and you wanted to do the same for him, so you did.

The next morning you sent him a text apologizing and asking him to come home, to which you got no reply. You sighed and looked at your laptop to continue your wedding planning. You checked your emails and at least got some good news. You and Maddox had custom ordered small bears with your last name on their bows as wedding favors for your guest and they were done. You were even lucky enough to find a local toy store that sold them. “Mountain of Plush.” They were ready for pick up as soon as 12pm. Since you worked from home that day you figured you mightiest we’ll make the trip. It wasn’t a far drive, only 15 minutes, it would take your mind off things.

You got in your car and headed over, on the way you tried to call Maddox and your call was sent to voicemail on the 3rd ring.

“Give me space Y/N.” Was all Maddox texted you. You sighed. You wanted so badly to be upset but you knew what you signed up for.

You arrived at the store and parked. You walked up to the entrance and looked over the store name again. “Why does this name sound so familiar?” You said to yourself. You ignored it and walked in anyways. You looked around, the store was adorable, various toys and plushies decorated the walls and shelves. There were even some anime and cartoon figures. Just as you were looking around, a voice could be heard.

“Can I help you?” That voice. That voice made your heart stop, it made your palms sweat, it made time move in slow motion. Your eyes followed the voice and there he was.

Choi San.

You both locked into place for a moment, feeling like you saw a ghost. You hadn’t seen San since a month after you broke things off with him. He would invite you over to try to fix things, you would talk, then yell, then have sex, then leave before he woke up. One night when he tried to contact you he found himself blocked on everything.

“I-, Y/N? What- What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Uh. I’m picking up an order I placed. San, is this your shop?”

“Yeah, you don’t remember the name I picked?”

“Well yeah I remember talking about it but I was hoping you would pick something else.”

That’s when the tension was cut with San laughing, you couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Well everyone loves my name thank you very much.”

“Yeah, sure.” You playfully rolled your eyes. You both smiled at each other, you felt warm. Even with the colder spring air outside, you felt warm at this moment. “So, how have you been San ? I see your business well.”

He returned your smile. “Yeah, I’m really lucky, business is good and this place keeps me kinda happy.”

You wanted to question the kinda part but you felt like it wasn’t your place anymore.

“Here, follow me, I’ll take you to the counter to pick up your order.” You followed him to the front of the store. He got behind the counter and looked through the orders on an iPad. “It’s funny I didn’t even see an order under your last name at all.”

That’s when you remembered why you were there. “Right… it’s actually under Moon.” You said softly.

“Moon?” San chuckled while scrolling through order names. “That’s funny, what is that a fake name you use no-“

Before he could finish that’s when he saw the reason line, he gulped, his breathing picking up.

“It’s… it’s my fiancés name… I’m getting married.” You said, chewing on your lip and keeping your eyes on the ground. Why did you feel so nervous telling him that? Why was this awkward?

“I see…” he licked his lips. “Couldn’t go to any other toy shop huh? Had to rub it in?” He nervously chuckled.

“N-no! I swear I wasn’t trying to be like that! I genuinely forgot-“ you nervously tried to respond.

“Y/n, relax it’s a joke.” He smiled, he found your reaction cute. “Hey they don’t call it “the one that got away” for nothing amiright?”

“San… I… I don’t know what to say.” You felt bad for some reason. Why did this make you feel so terrible? You broke things off with San, why did you feel like you were hurting him? It had been 2 years.

“It’s okay Y/N, I’m happy for you. I swear, I’m glad you finally found the person who could do what I couldn’t.” San was genuinely happy that someone was making you happy. Even after being blocked, being angry, being heartbroken that he lost his chance with you. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. He was hurt that he couldn’t be the one to do it but was happy it was getting done.

You smiled. “Thank you Sannie.”

“Anyways, this order is heavy, where is the lucky so and so? You’re definitely gonna need help carrying this out.” He said tapping away on the screen then walking to the back room.

“Oh, he’s working right now. I’m sure I can handle it.” You said as he placed 2 large boxes on the counter.

“He’s making you do this by yourself? You always told me if I didn’t help with wedding stuff you would push me into the ocean.” San said with a questioning look.

“Haha, what can I say, things change.” You smiled. You were lying. Of course Maddox should be here but you were currently getting the silent treatment so there wasn’t much you could do. “Like I said I’m sure I’ll manage.”

You attempted to pick the rectangular boxes up and San lightly smacked your hands away.

“No way, here I’ll carry it for you.” San stacked the boxes and picked them up with ease.

“No, I can't ask you to do that!”

“You didn’t ask, I offered. Come on, show me to your car.”

You wanted to stop him but you knew San, he has always been chivalrous and nothing was going to stop him at that moment.

You showed him to your car and popped your trunk, he placed the boxes in.

“Ooh, fancy car. Still doing math professionally?”

You laughed.

“Yes, San, I’m still an accountant.”

“You’re better than me, I could never willingly do math.”

“You run a business San.”

“Yeah but I just assume everything’s okay, I pay rent and all that on time and can afford stock.”

“San! That’s irresponsible!”

“I’m kidding, I have a math guy too. But if you ever want a new customer let me know.” He winked. “I’ll leave him with no remorse.”

Something about that dimpled smile and wink made your heart drop a bit.

“Well, thank you for helping me San.”

He shut your trunk. “The pleasure is all mine Y/N.”

“And thank you for the bears, I saw the progress pictures and they are beautiful. The Moon symbol for free was so sweet.”

“Yeah well you know me, I’m a sweet guy.” He smiled as he shrugged.

“Well sweet guy as a thank you, how about you come to my engagement party Seonghwa is FINALLY throwing for me.”

“Oh god, he’s that mean gay guy that hates me.”

“He only hates you because he knew how much I wanted to be with you and that we never dated.”

“Yeah, guess I really blew that.” There was a brief awkward silence.

“I’m sure you two are fine now though, right? Since he’s dating your friend Hongjoongs friend Christian?”

“Oh… well. I kinda don’t talk to Hongjoong anymore.” He awkwardly scratched his head.

“Woah, what? You and Wooyoung and Hongjoong were inseparable in College. What happened?”

“Well, it’s kinda embarrassing.” He avoided your gaze.

“Try me.”

“I kinda… blamed him for introducing you to Maddox that night…”

Silence. Again.

“Oh…”

“But it’s fine I swear.”

“Well now I feel like shit.”

“Y/n don’t! It’s pretty sure you were bound to dump me anyways.” San tried consoling you.

“Um… well if you want to come I can text you the address.” You quickly changed the subject.

“Yeah, sure.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and as you watched him that’s when you noticed his body. He had on a pair of jeans and a grey fuzzy sweater with a purple apron that had his business name across it. He was much larger now, the sweater looks comically huge and cute on him.

“Actually I have the same number.” He said.

“Oh okay, I’ll text it now then.” You smiled and pulled out your phone. You texted him over the invite. His name read. “Do not text”. “Did you get it?”

“Um… you still have me blocked y/n.” He said awkwardly.

“Oh my god! I’m sorry.” You unblocked him and resent it.

“Got it.”

“Well that’s about enough awkwardness I can handle so I’ll see you there. It’s this Saturday!” You awkwardly smiled then raised your eyebrows.

San chuckled again. “Guess you’re right. I’ll see you Saturday if I’m free.”

You and San waved each other goodbye and you hated the butterflies that filled your stomach. You dropped your head on your steering wheel with your hands gripping.

“Why, why, WHY DOES HE LOOK SO DAMN GOOD?” You shouted to yourself as you lightly banged your head on the wheel. You connected your phone to your car then began to drive. “What the hell happened to karma, why did the break up make him so hot? I jus-“ Just when you were about to continue to curse the world your phone rang. Your face lit up hoping it was Maddox but instead Seonghwa’s name was plastered across your radio screen, you tapped to pick up the call.

“Hey Hwa what’s up?”

“Don’t what’s up me y/n, why did I just get an rsvp by the name “S. Choi”, this better not be who I think it is.”

You made a face, you knew he would kill you but you just wanted to be nice, you didn’t think San would actually come.

“Yeah, so remember the teddy bear thing? Turns out they came from Sans Shop.” You sighed.

“Ian… Ian…CHRISTIAN!” You could hear Seonghwa yelling for Christian to get his attention as if you weren’t on the phone anymore.

“Yes my love?” You could hear Christian reply vaguely.

“Remind me to fucking kill Hongjoong with my bare hands.” Seonghwa said.

“Of course my love.”

“Wait, why are you killing Hongjoong?” You asked, confused about what this meant.

“Hongjoong is the one that told me to tell you about that shop, I’ll never trust that sneaky bastard again.” You could hear the irritation in his voice.

“Oh calm down Hwa, it’s one night with him.”

“And I’m expected to believe he’s going to behave?”

“He’s changed Seonghwa, I talked to him for a while, he’s mature and sweet and… and-“

“And fine as hell and buff.” Seonghwa said, finishing your sentence.

“Th-that’s not what I was going to say!” You started to feel hot.

“Mhm, yeah, well I follow the son of a bitch on Instagram and I’ve seen him. He’s a sculpted, tan beauty.”

“Just gonna say that in front of Ian huh?”

“Oh I agree.” Ian said faintly.

“And Christian knows I would never leave him for that ass. Anyways, I don’t need that Greek god coming around and breaking up the engagement I worked- I mean you and Maddox worked so hard for.” He softened his voice towards the end.

“I’m not going to leave Doxxie for San, Jesus have some faith! San will come, see how happy and in love I am and then admit defeat for himself and go about his day.”

A deep and soulful sigh left Seonghwa. “Listen, if you want to trust that weasel that’s on you and your simple brain.”

“Hey!”

“But stop candy coating the past and trying to always find the good. You and San never technically dated and yet he broke your heart so bad. Not to mention the possessive nature he had. Me and you could barely talk without him wanting you home. The guy isn’t great!”

Right… you tried to ignore those things about San. Like Seonghwa said you two never dated but towards the end of your situationship San could feel you becoming more and more dissatisfied. The resolution to that in his mind? Love bombing. He would buy you random gifts, take you out more, go the whole 9 yards. But over time, it developed into something else. You would tell people you were single, because that was the truth right? But San would hold your hand and kiss you in public or at parties just to… assert dominance? He would get mad at you talking to other men, he would cling to you everywhere you went. It became suffocating after so long.

“I know Seonghwa…” you sounded like a child being scolded.

“…he can come. Just please don’t do anything irrational. I know you’re weak for him.”

When you finally arrived at your apartment, you saw Maddox’s car in its designated space.

“Ah! Sorry Hwa I gotta go, love you bye!”

You could hear Seonghwa try to tell to hold on but you hung up. You didn’t bother trying to get the box from the car and immediately rushed into the house. Upon opening the door you saw a large bouquet of flowers on the kitchen island.

“Hello beautiful.” Maddox said as he appeared from the bedroom.

“Oh Doxxie, thank you.” You met him half way and welcomed him into a big hug.

“Anything for you my love." He pecked your lips. "Are you excited for Sunday?"

You raised your eyebrow in confusion. "You mean Saturday?"

"Oh fuck, right Saturday!" He finally released you. "I have a little work to do then I'll head home and meet you there when I'm dressed."

You folded your arms. "Maddox... we were supposed to be riding together..."

"Oh shit, sorry, yeah we'll ride together, sure."

"...are you sure?"

"Yes, Of course baby." He gave you another kiss to get your mind off things, this one lingered. He held your waist as the kiss got deeper.

"Mmm, Doxxie, hah, wait." You said as his kisses traveled down your neck.

"Why? We have to make up, don't we?" He said as he sucked your brown skin on your neck, his hands were already moving your locs to the side so he could have more access.

You giggle and take his hands off your neck to hold one and lead him to the bedroom. "Come on, let's go to our room."

He laid you down softly, the soft blanket against your skin. He crawled on top of you and before chasing you down he looked over you.

"My beautiful girlfriend."

Girlfriend? Your arms reached up to wrap around his neck. "You mean fiancé and soon to be wife."

"Oh I know, just wanted to hear you say it." He smiled before finally kissing your lips again.

Your lips both passionately danced on each other, you could feel Maddox's hand coast the side of your torso until he found the end of your shirt then slid it inside. The feeling of lace met his fingertips as he cupped one of your boobs. He began to massage the pillow like mound of fat while his lips made their way down your neck. In a swift movement he released your chest to remove your shirt and helped take off your bra as well. He gave one of your nipples a few kisses before he latched on to it with his mouth, his other hand gripping the other. Soft moans continued to escape your lips while your hips mindlessly moved, wanting more.

His hand made its way into your leggings to begin to rub your clothed heat, wetness already building up.

"Already ready for me baby?"

"Always."

You two exchange the few words then lock lips again. You both rushed to remove the remainder of your clothes. You laid on your back, bare, in front of a naked Maddox while he lined himself up with your entrance. Just as he was about to begin pushing inside of you his phone began to ring. The loud default ringer going off on the bed while it shook due to the vibrations, his eyes darted to it.

"oh fuck." He whispered to him.

"Doxxie..."

Maddox looked between you and his phone.

"Could you just give me one-"

"Maddox!" You shouted as he winced while grabbing the phone.

"I swear I'll just be a second!"

He saw the look in your eyes, the look of sadness and disappointment, all you wanted was a moment with him. You just wanted to feel prioritized.

He swiped the bar to answer the call while mouthing an apology.

"Hello?" He said while taking his stance, you swiftly grabbed his arm.

"At least stay with me."

"Y/n, let go." He whispered away from the phone.

You deeply sighed and let him walk away, like a kid throwing a temper tantrum you decided to pull the covers over your head and pout.

After about 30 minutes he finally came back looking satisfied.

"Alright sorry about that-"

He found you still balled up under the covers.

"Just go Maddox..." Your voice filled with sadness as you knew what was next.

"I haven't even said anything."

"What are you going to say then?" You continued to keep your head under the cover.

"...I have about 15 minutes, do you maybe wanna-"

"It's fine Doxxie, just go to work." You kept telling yourself that you knew what this was, you knew what Maddox's job was. But how much more could you really take?

"...fine." He began to gather the rest of his clothes, you were going to just let him go but you would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't speak up.

"When are we going to have time for us Maddox?" your voice is weak and unstable.

Silence, he opted to not respond and left.

Part 2 is coming very soon...

[path-of-grass-and-leaves]

Bioregional Magic: Sustainable Ways to Work with Native Plants

Note: Post Contains Personal Anecdotes and UPG

As someone with a nature-based practice, I completely understand the desire to work with native plants. Many of us are deeply compelled to foster a connection with our land spirits and the local flora and fauna.

But with the normalization of consumption in witchcraft spaces paired with unethical wildcrafting and foraging practices, it's important to be careful. We don't want to harm the native plant populations and the wildlife that depends on them in our quest for a more localized practice.

Learning which plants are safe to harvest

By safe, I don't mean safe to handle or consume, though this is also crucial knowledge for anyone harvesting wild plants in general. I'm specifically referring to whether or not the collection of native plant matter will make a negative impact on the local ecosystem.

Think of it this way, if your practice is spirit-focused. Will the collective spirits of certain plants really want to assist you if you're devastating their population for your own gain? IME the answer is a hard no.

Take a look at a field guide and start identifying some of the native plants in your region. Are some of them listed as endangered, threatened, or special concern? Now you know which plants you should never disturb or collect materials from.

If not threatened, are some species generally harder to find? Are they present only in a certain type of environment? Do they take a long time to mature and/or have a very specific method of seed dispersal? Proceed with caution.

Example:

Common Blue Violets are one of the first plants to bloom in my garden during springtime. I also consider them very important in my practice and like to harvest them for certain rituals. But like I said, they're one of the first native plants to bloom during spring. Which means there are going to be pollinating insects, songbirds, and small mammals which rely on these plants for food. And predators who rely on those animals.

Since this is a hardy plant that usually grows in abundance, it's okay for me to harvest some from the garden for personal use. But I still need to leave enough to serve as a resource for wildlife and allow it to reproduce for the following year.

On the contrary, I never touch my wild Bloodroot. I only have two or three plants in the garden, their seeds have double dormancy germination requirements, and they take 2-3 years to reach blooming size. I have only ever collected seeds for propagation, and even then do it rarely because I know that the ants do a much better job at this than I could.

So when we can't harvest materials to use for tools and ingredients in workings, how do we utilize these plants in our practice?

Physical Representations and Symbolism

Images, objects, and symbols representing the plant can be used to substitute organic matter that you would otherwise collect and use for workings. Consider art pieces or photos, sculptures, sigils and seals, paper cut or folded into the shape of leaves or flowers, etc.

If the plant is your main component or energy source, consider designing the working to cater to this. For example, if I'm petitioning the spirit of milkweed, I might want to incorporate aspects of air and wind, since this is how their seeds are distributed. Or I may want to add some lunar energies knowing that this is the planetary correspondence for milkweed. This is would completely depend on my intent for the specific working and which physical or spiritual aspects of the plant I choose to work with.

If you're seeking a more long-term effect, try getting crafty and using symbols of the plant to decorate your own tools. I'm talking homemade oracle cards, painted jars or boxes for container spells, decorated offering bowls, ritual jewelry, and so on.

Working with Living Plants

This one is for the spirit workers. While it's entirely possible to petition plant spirits, especially collectives, solely using imagery, working carefully with a living plant can help establish a more direct spiritual connection.

This can be done by conducting your working outdoors, inviting the spirit of the plant into your space, and asking for assistance. During this time you would leave an offering, usually fresh water, but you can also offer things like soil or compost. Obtaining a working knowledge of certain plants can help inspire ideas for more creative, species-appropriate offerings, giving your spells and rituals an extra boost.

Now if this were a plant that was on a special concern or endangered species list, I would avoid offerings and actions that could potentially disturb the plant in any way. I may work within a few feet of the plant and present my offering in a bowl, removing it at the end of the working. I would definitely avoid touching it or say, pouring out water over the soil where it grows.

While we're on the subject of offerings, consider acts of service. Once again, we're going to use milkweed as an example. If I want to leave a nice offering for the spirit of milkweed and I know that Black Swallowtails feed on the nectar and pollinate it, I may offer a potted plant of dill placed in the wildflower garden. This is because Black Swallowtail caterpillars love to eat dill and will later pupate into adults, which will be beneficial for the plant. Consider different species and their relationship with each other. You may even get multiple spirit allies out of the deal.

Cultivation and Seed Distribution

Now, we've talked about ways to avoid harm when incorporating native plant species into our practices, but what about making a positive impact?

The Act of Growing Things is actually my favorite part of plant magic. Sure, I love harvesting my vegetables, fruit, and herbs to use in various recipes, and wild plants I find in the yard are excellent allies. But there really is something special about watching a tiny seedling grow into a full-sized plant, or seeing that delicate young native perennial thrive during its first year outdoors.

Whether transplanting or growing from seed, you're inevitably going to develop a strong relationship with that specific plant. You'll learn all about its growth rate, ecological benefits, soil requirements, and more. This will lead to folklore, correspondences, and later on your own UPG related to where this plant fits within your practice.

Another option, if you don't have the energy for more hands-on cultivation, is seed scattering. Disturbed areas like roadside ditches or even your backyard are perfect for this. Whether scattering or growing in starter pots, seeds can be charmed or enchanted with a specific intent and planted as a sort of living spell.

I use Prarie Moon Nursery for my seeds, but there are plenty of other affordable online vendors. You can also check out what's available locally. There are a few native-focused nurseries in my area that have a nice variety of options depending on the season.

[should-know-better]

A conversation through Instagram?

This post 'And if you're thinking of ME, I'm probably thinking of YOU, made by @thetruthisfictional made me think - WHY did Alex decide to point at the Mirrorball / Miles representation on that day?

So delved a bit further. A huge thank you to @nicoscheer for keeping such accurate records of Miles' stories and posts. It made this so much easier. (Also, this is all just my wild theory and I have no proper proof as usual.)

Friday 22/09/2023 Who knows what started this all off, but on this day, Miles posts two stories:

The lyrics for "Seen The Light" include: "Well what you do is up to you, / I'll take my hat and push on through," (full lyrics in link)

"Infa Riot" lyrics include: "time to take control again and be the only one." "It's not too late to free your mind" "cos I don't think any-one cares." (full lyrics in link) This could be interpreted as either Miles saying that he's going to be who he wants to be, OR if it's a message to Alex, it's suggesting that he stands up for himself.

So what happens?

Saturday 23/09/2023 Arctic Monkeys are at the Pacific Colosseum in Vancouver and debut, "HELLO YOU.” I know that AM could have been pre-planned that they were doing this track tonight but to me, the timing?? Idk it just feels so coincidental.

It's as though Alex is answering with that final hopeful verse, about in the future he'll go back to being that person he was aged 17 (the meaning behind, "Hello You," discussed here.)

To try to keep this short(ish) I'll quickly say that Miles posts more stories where he's having a a nice Saturday night in with Maxie, then out for Sunday lunch with his Mum. The music accompanying these are all from The Beatles, (which ties in with his Mum being there) but he could have chosen any songs, and these all tie in with the ‘conversation’. They can all be seen as having a double meaning (1) as an accompanying to the story and (b) a message to Alex. Check out the lyrics from each track:

Roll Over Beethoven - (esp verse 6 and "the jukebox blows a fuse" - there's a post referring to Alex as a jukebox here!)

This Boy

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Monday 25/09/2023 Amongst the breezy 'up and at em' post that Miles makes, and, the feeling lazy Jim Royle stories, there's two more tracks.

The lyrics from "Good at Breaking Hearts," lyrics could have been written about the Milex LA split, they are so apt. However, the main theme behind, "Chunky," is to keep the party going and carry on as long as you can.

Again, if these are just random songs that Miles likes, then it's very spooky, because the next thing that happens is...

Tuesday 26/09/2023

https://www.tumblr.com/standingnexttome2012/772210477873938432

During Body Paint, Alex points at the Mirrorball and sings, "if you're thinking of me, I'm probably thinking of you."

I'm not sure if this is the only time he does this, but in many of the clips I've watched, he doesn't. So, once again, why on this date? Another coincidence? Am I just fitting song lyrics to a narrative? When you look closely, there seems to be something going on.

[superkooku]

I don't know if I need more Dadpollo representation or what you just said. You know what ? I'll say both at the same time. Apollo being a nerdy dad and sharing his interests with his kids :3

And he's always so happy when the kids reciprocate his enthusiasm and they just start rambling together.

I want some Apollo and Orpheus/Linus composing tracks together, him teaching Idmon to handle prophecies and visions or him giving an anatomy session to Asclepius. Or him just chilling while eating Aristaeus' honey. That kind of good stuff.

Or how about Chiron, that he fostered and helped grow into the great and diverse teacher he is today.

Edit : I had a short brain fart. Chariclo didn't have prophecy powers. Her daughter does.

Like there's so much interesting hobbies Apollo is into and was said to transmit, I find that adorable.

Also, if he's portrayed as dumb it's probably because he's blonde, an emotional person and to make Artemis the smart twin in comparison. I love me a good himbo, but Apollo isn't that at all.

What do you think ?

Not enough people portray Apollo as a smarty-pants nerd with really nerdy interests (musical theater, performance art, astrophysics, aerospace engineering, academic research, biomedicine, epidemiology) who just so happens to be trapped in a hot body that’s great at sports.

Like here’s this gorgeous jock who’s the star athlete of the archery club but as soon as he opens his mouth, the only thing he wants to talk about is the discovery of a new black hole or that new broadway production that’s being promoted on TikTok.

But noooo tell me again how he’s a dumb blond that’s full of himself and can’t do a single thing right.

It rankles me.

[scintillyyy]

Hi. I love every second of your blog going "Fuck Chuck Dixon. All my homies hate Chuck Dixon." concurrent with "Dixon could often be remarkably competent as a writer with legit interesting ideas." Please never stop writing metas.

listennnnnn i hate dixon he's awful. he's also written stuff i really enjoy despite the many glaring faults.

the thing with dixon that i'm always trying to suss out tho. like, i think because current day dixon has been radicalized in a truly awful and horrendous way, there's a lot of desire to place his current day radical beliefs onto every aspect of his past works and blame everything on him and him alone as this one terrible writer who ruined all characters for ever and ever just because he's a conservative. but like. i think that because he's an awful person it's easy to place blame on him retroactively for some things that weren't necessarily solely a product of his conservatism or his fault alone.

and mmm. i never ever deny the conservatism present in his works. it's present in his robin book with tim, it's present in his nightwing book with dick, and it's present in his batman books with bruce. but people sometimes act as if he was working in a batoffice that had the current day issues it does where writers are given a carte blance to do whatever they want with all characters with little regards to continuity or character growth. that did not happen during his tim under denny in the 90s--denny o'neil was known for running a fairly tight ship (i can't find the interview but there's an interesting retrospective interview he does wrt jason where he talks about his failures as an editor and how he was too hands off and not firm enough allowing writers to do what they pleased which led him to become a much stricter and firm editor following jason's death because he learned from the experience). dixon in that interview i posted made it clear that o'neil wouldn't even let dixon touch the joker until dixon had demonstrated to o'neil he had a grasp on the character that o'neil approved of. dixon would not have been allowed to do whatever he wanted with characters like robin/tim. without o'neil putting a stop to it if he had gone too far. and for the record, o'neil was a big old bleeding heart liberal that, at the time at least, dixon is noted to have gotten along with very well despite their political opinion differences even at that time. dixon says he was an avid read of grant's work on batman. he's awful now, but at one point he was probably younger and a bit more willing to entertain ideas that weren't his own too.

so when i look back on his work as a historical work, i'm always trying to tease out the following - is this representive of dixon's brand of conservative views in particular or is it representative of a different, overall more conservative time era. and there's a lot of things that fall under the second umbrella that get attributed to the first tbh. listen i love no man's land and understand that despite my love it is full of copaganda and downright conservative ideals by today's standards. but NML wasn't written solely by dixon to push a uniquely conservative pro-cop view--o'neil approved of the story and was the editor of the office at the time. rucka was a huge player in helping tell this super pro-cop story (he even wrote the novelization!!) and nobody ever really puts blame on him for these things the way they do dixon afaik. NML being written in a 'democrats trying to be tough on crime' era absolutely means it's not solely the fault of dixon and his evil conservatism, but he often gets the flack as if it were despite the fact that he was getting these stories okayed by people on different ends of the political spectrum than him + these stories were not his evil conservative brainchild alone.

so these are the things i'm thinking when i read through his works. and maybe that gives me a rosier view than it should, but a lot of my thoughts come from "what can reasonably actually be attributed to showcasing what dixon's views actually are" vs "what might actually not be his fault and his fault alone".

and when i say that tim generally isn't the one who showcases his personal views, i'm not trying to minimize the fact that there is inherent conservatism baked in to his character along with everyone else written by dixon, i'm saying that we need to be realistic and realize that dixon did not have as much freedom to do with tim what he had freedom to do with tim's side characters. tim, after all, had to ultimately fit in o'neil's batbible framework of what he was supposed to be because tim was ultimately an IP character who was part of a batman and robin mythos that o'neil was very, very protective of in the 90s given his previous failures to maintain control of the ship. so when you consider dixon's particular conservatism in tim's books you need to consider that the vast majority of it came from the characters surrounding tim (such as his dad, dana, steph, etc) because dixon had more freedom with those sorts of characters, rather than tim himself who often doesn't have any particular opionion of his own--he's just reacting to all the different opinions being presented to him. and that's not to say that those character should be evil conservatives forever and ever--in fact, i personally think they shouldn't. but take the racist and classist inner city kids are bringing guns to school storyline in robin #25-26. as a whole it's a conservative story. o'neil allowed dixon to do the story in the first place when he could have said no. in the story tim wanders around not knowing what to do about karl bringing a gun to school--which is why he has to go to his dad and dana, who represent "go to the cops/don't be a narc options"--his dad is the one who tries to talk to karl's dad--karl is the conservative one who thinks that they need to protect themselves from inner city kids compared to tim who thinks that guns shouldn't be in school. but tim also thinks that they shouldn't go to the cops and wants his dad to handle it by himself, but eventually comes to the realization that he should have gone to school administration to begin with. in these issues, steph is also the one who dixon uses to link karl's shooting to the inner city kids who are getting bused in to the suburban schools--we talk about that panel of steph declaring herself the protector of the suburbs, but also that panel in context is within the confines of the story--steph is essentially saying "maybe the suburbs need a spoiler (to protect themselves from the inner city people coming to bring crime out to them)" which absolutely is a conservative dixonism that you can pinpoint to his particular kind politics in comparison to the milquetoast of tim's "i don't know what to do/talk to a trusted adult to get help before tragedy happens PSA/overall conservativeness" that happens. that the story itself that exists in tim's book is conservative, yes, and i won't deny that tim also has a few conservative dialogue here but to me the difference is that o'neil would not let dixon use tim drake to go on any overtly political rants or represent any specific ideology *himself* that could make him controversial with readers of the time given how protective o'neil was of not repeating his previous mistakes. you're generally going to find the more egregious dixonisms outside of tim. like "robin 1993 is a conservative book that has a pro-life storyline" (true) =/= "tim goes on an anti-abortion rant" (not true, literally never happened). tim shares blame because ultimately it is his book that presents a conservative worldview but tim as a character tends to exist as a more moderate (not completely, but more) character to have other characters present options and opinions to him rather than he himself saying he has those opinions. robin cannot take sides like that. o'neil wouldn't have let that happen.

and like. when discussing dixon my goal is never to completely absolve tim of dixon's writing. i just don't often see a need to completely rehash the tim-conservatism points because it's been discussed already over and over again to the point there's a pretty widespread misconception that tim is the ultimate dixon conservative mouthpiece who is solely at fault for all of robin 93's conservatism when actually there's a lot of other interesting places dixon's conservatism presents that are almost never discussed in comparison. my goal is not to be "tim's not at fault" or anything but it is to seriously consider and think about where i see dixon's personal opinions shining through more overtly based on what i know of the conservative mindset (as much as i don't agree with it). dissecting dixon and how he writes in consideration of his beliefs is fascinating and fun to me.

anyways he's awful.

[tsbs-shipfessions]

Agreeing with the anon that wished there was more MLM representation in tsams.

Most of the MLM relationships were just click bait-ish/made to look super toxic/made to mock fans and it honestly makes me feel really uncomfortable.

I was hoping that Sun would be the one that would get in a gay relationship because it would play down the 'no homo' jokes they seem to be obsess with.

I understand if the voice actors are uncomfortable with acting it out, but it's like... Not funny to constantly have MLM be a punchline. And it'll leave a bad taste in my mouth for any future relationships Sun gets into.

Also the fact that Davis probably retconed Sun enjoying wearing dresses because that was more of a lol effeminate boy joke.

Regardless, I was born in the 90s where there was zero to none rep, and I have honed the skills of taking a gay/trans joke and making it canon. Jokes on you TSAMS, your mention of goose Sun can laying eggs canonically makes all Suns Transgender (Trans Fem? Trans Masc? answer: Yes)

-signed, just a gay anon who wishes his favorite show could be normal about MLM relationships and also most likely following the pattern of 'you have reached your quota of gay characters.'

This is in response to this post.

[lilmissbacon]

Miraculous Art Club AU pt.2

@634783 You ask, I deliver (me taking the first chance I can to share more 😅)

Like I said in the original post, I plan to make a youtube video on this au AND it's a bit of a rewrite, where I'll explain further. So to just summarize Adrian here; it's an au where he found the safe behind his mom's portrait before school started, where it holds a journal that held all the plans and info about everything behind Adrien and Felix's creations. So Adrien learns everything and decides to try obtaining the wish to sacrifice himself in place of his mom, "since I wasn't supposed to exist anyway" he thinks (the angst).

The season 3 finale would be when everything comes to light but Nathaniel and Marc decide to not turn him in (give him a second chance if you will) because they understand that he's a grieving teenager. Plus Adrien is not nearly as bad as Gabriel with the butterfly miraculous. He did try his best to avert his villains from really hurting many people, though damage was caused nontheless.

Again, that's just the abbreviated explanation.

This finale also has them lose the butterfly miraculous to which it's picked up by Lila. (Note: I've been trying to avoid season 6 spoilers so I have no idea if a canon design has come out for Lila yet, I do not care if it did anyway, this in my au damnit.)

Chloe redemption true au, and then Zoé will be season 4/5 Chloe and be COMPLETELY redesigned 'cause fuck it. Zoé in canon has nothing going for her and was conceived as a spiteful attempt to replace Queen Bee, so in this au I'm gonna make her a representation of what Chloe used to be to showcase how far Chloe has come🖕😂

And I haven't done any other characters yet so I included black cat!Marc for the kwami swap episode and mouse!Nathaniel for the Kwamibuster episode. I was hoping to make all their civilian redesigns first, then I think I'mma make Marinette next.

[batmanlovesnirvana]

Maybe you should just block me since you’re clearly you’re talking about my fic.

I used the x reader tag because it started as one before I decided to rewrite it with more North African/Middle Eastern representation—something fandom desperately lacks, along with addressing the racism that often accompanies it.

I’ve made a conscious effort to keep descriptions minimal for inclusivity, so if that doesn’t fit your narrow expectations, that’s on you.

Maryam means a lot to me, both as an immigrant and as a woman of color. As a Muslim, too, especially in the current climate where we're constantly navigating prejudice, stereotypes, and discrimination. There's so much negativity around us, both in the real world and online. It's hard to feel seen or understood, especially when you're already carrying so much weight.

She’s kind of a love letter to anyone who sees pieces of themselves in her, because that’s the whole point—she’s meant to be you.

Fandoms were supposed to be a refuge—a place to connect with others who share your passion, to feel safe and accepted—but too often, they become spaces where that very sense of belonging is challenged. It's heartbreaking when something that's meant to bring joy and solidarity feels like it only amplifies the hurt.

I’m an amateur writer sharing my fanfiction for free—because I love writing and enjoy seeing others enjoy it—but also hoping to get noticed, not for the attention, but for the feedback. I thrive on seeing others engage with my work. If I don’t promote it, nobody will see it, and then I’ll lose my motivation.

If I don’t promote my work, I’m not doing my job. Simple as that.

Next time, just scroll past and save us both the drama—or, you know, there’s this thing called filtering in your settings.

But considering how many times you’ve reblogged it, pinned it, and stirred up others, I may as well delete it—since it clearly bothers both you and them that much.

Honestly, it really hurts me to see all this bad attention over something I created to share and enjoy. It’s just so upsetting, I’m genuinely thinking about taking it down.

— نور

tags for the readers of the fic : @gaypoetsblog @faeryki @rattyfishrock

me when i see an x oc fic, but it has an x reader tag:

im sorry, do i look like a maryam to you?

[oceanwithouthermoon]

I like your saiteru posts but I can't shake the idea that Teruhashi only loves the idea of Saiki and not actually Saiki, especially since she hated when he gave her a glimpse of himself when he was competitive during their date.

ive seen this take floating around a few times, this whole "teruhashis mental image of saiki is wrong" "teruhashi wouldnt love him if she got to know him" "teruhashi hated any time she saw his REAL personality" and i just dont get it because like...

this scene?? the scene where hes being inconsiderate, rude, not taking her feelings into account, making her play games she doesnt even want to play, acting like a gooner, etc? THIS is the scene you thought was him showing her a glimpse of what hes really like??? where did you get that from?/genq

hes competitive, yeah, but this… isnt being competitive, its just being an asshole. thats not what hes like when hes trying to win. him wanting to win games and show off with his powers is not equivalent to being an inconsiderate tryhard who wants to make everyone do what he wants with no thought to what they want…

but youre ALSOOOOO forgetting that she actually did end up being like… “hehe i still wuv him 😚” after this…

so.. on THAT note, i need everyone to pay really really close attention to what im about to say…

she loves him when hes rude, inconsiderate, pushy, competitive…

she loves him when hes open, popular, kind, powerful, reading her mind…

she loves him when hes gloomy, monotone, boring, quiet…

she loves him when hes a GIRL.

so why is the conclusion here “she wouldnt love him for the real him”? the logical conclusion here seems to be “she would love him no matter what”

WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESNT SCREAM “LOVE”?

and regarding her "only loving his persona the same way people only love teruhashis", i think everything above disproves that anyway but i have to go more into it because not only have you misunderstood me but this also implies you think none of saiki and teruhashis friends truly love them at all 😭

saikis quiet, boring self isnt completely not him. its still him, just a different side of him than you might be used to as a viewer. you guys have to understand that although, yes, he is masking and putting up a front, that doesnt mean EVERY part of him that people see is fake 😭 its the same with teruhashi, she doesnt have a single tangible "true" self entirely on the inside and a single tangible "fake" self entirely on the outside, its NOT completely black and white! PEOPLE arent completely black and white!

youre forgetting that me saying those guys (the kokomins and all those gross ew men) dont love her because they dont know and see her was accompanied by a picture of them literally asking her to continue validating them immediately after she woke up from passing out 😭 they quite literally dont love or care about her, not even about her image, they just like the idea of her image and want her to make them feel good. the whole "nobody sees and knows and loves her" doesnt apply in the same way to yumehara and their other friends, they may not truly see her with the same depth that saiki does but that doesnt mean their care for her is fake, because they DONT care more about her image than just her and being in her company even if they do still see the parts of her that ARE fake.

you cant just take the idea that they fake a lot of themselves around others and morph that into "every single thing people see of them is fake and every single thing they dont see is an accurate representation of their true selves", it just doesnt work like that 😭 regardless of saikis power and silliness and sweetness and competitiveness, hes still a quiet guy with a gloomy face. and regardless of teruhashis cuntiness (lol) and competitiveness and obsessiveness and silliness, shes still a sweet girl who enjoys making people happy. they can be BOTH and thats okay!

this misunderstanding is like youre hearing someones thoughts and thinking "oh what a blunt person" like well... no because not everything in your head defines your personality or is something youd ever want or need to say aloud. everyone thinks crazy things, had wrong initial impressions, etc, do you see my point?? am i getting this across properly??? saiki still enjoys sitting in his house and doing nothing but eating coffee jelly and playing video games and teruhashi still enjoys when she makes people happy, those things arent fake just because they contribute to their fake personas... saiki also would not have been singing and doing standup or whatever the hell people are convinced he wouldve been doing at the mixer with someone hes "more comfortable" with, he doesnt do that shit around anyone 😭 not around his family and not around the psychickers, so im not sure where people got the idea that her thinking he would sit there and do nothing was her not understanding him or that the way he was making the guys act was how he truly wants to act 😭 he can sing and crack jokes but he never has around anyone so we dont know if thats what he wants to do, i dont even remember him making jokes aloud to the psychickers other than being a little sassy ☠️ the most i remember is him making short silly jokes to tease his dad or toritsuka... you guys just assume that hes the type of guy to stand up and sing and yell and make everyone roll over laughing because idk... maybe you cant stand the idea that your fav might not be a sexy loud confident alpha male and might actually be a little guy who loves video games and watching people and being a little brat on occasion ☠️

i feel like this take is just you guys taking both their insecurities SUPER seriously, because what else could be making you think that ANYONE who doesnt know about his powers doesnt truly love or care for saiki??

anyway... it clearly just doesnt matter to her how he acts because she just loves him and enjoys his company no matter what. thats love.