#that'll be fun trying to justify

[homunculus-argument]

Honestly as a worldbuilding thing, one thing that's massively liberating is to just let yourself create a crapsack world. Don't try to go out of your way to think of the Bleakest And Shittiest Dystopia You Can Think Of if that's not fun for you, but just allow yourself to create whatever's coming and if some part of it sucks, just nod in agreement and go "yeah, that's shitty for those people/that feature of the world is awful for everyone involved" and carry on. Don't try to force yourself into creating a perfect utopia where nobody suffers, because that'll limit your creativity and make you turn defensive when someone points out that the world you created has flaws. It will have some, no matter what you do.

Let yourself create a nuanced world with both light and darkness in them. You can write an impressive empire that gave birth to massive leaps in technology and infrastructure, but they were also shitty imperialists whose machine was oiled with the blood of slavery. You can write monarchies with fun court intrigue and nobility who commission artists and poets to create breathtaking beauty while aknowledging that their funds to do so were wrung from the labour of serfs. All social systems are shitty in their own, unique ways, and aknowledging that there's both injustice and suffering and beauty and sparks of joy in any society doesn't make you an apologist or a hypocrite, it just makes your world more real.

You're not obligated to only create something perfect, flawless and entirely justified. As a matter of fact you literally cannot do that. Just let the worlds you create have some parts of them that reek like shit.

[starlightshore]

i think enough time has happened that i can talk freely about Undertale Event...2! if you haven't watched it, uhm. Please do!

Undertale Event

2!

I voiced Dr. Alphys and I did all the artwork.

The only two real fangames were:

Sans the Game

and

Giga Sans

Everything else was made by a couple of friends (and a guest submission, GTA Sans) and me.

Here's my 4 trailers if you just want to see them isolated.

for an explanation to what the hell this even is under the cut:

This is a parody of UnderEvent, a yearly Nintendo-Direct like showcase of Undertale Projects. I know people/have particpated in this since the first year.

While I try my best to keep to myself in the fandom, I do talke with people and dive a little bit into what's going on. I know the words "dust-trust" and "last breath" but i could not tell you what specifc AU they are each. I'm not good at video games so I only really play the big ones (UTY, TS, and most recently Delta-traveler). So like, I'd say i'm halfway there to knowing the basics of whatever the hell is going on in this fandom lmao!

I love how weird and silly this fandom is. I've got my own gripes about different aspects (cough, Sans Therapy: sans has mental illness the fangame was made in part with my extreme frustration with how the fandom handles the topic of mental illness. Like, seriously, cut that crap out...)

but anywayz off my rant for the day, there's a lot of this fandom I can admire from an, admittedly, confused distance.

I'll actually refrain from talking too in-depth about my thought process on the trailers as we plan on doing a commentary edition for the video. That'll be fun!

As for if we'll have a sequel...?

We have no idea yet if we are. I'd only want to make one if we can justify its existence. If you're in the fan-project community and want to be involved, please reach out to me! I can't guarantee we'll let you in as, as I said, I don't even know if we're making a sequel yet. But I love the idea of making a bigger, badder, and more ambitious sequel!

Alas for now I must go...... I'm writing this the night before and i'm sleepy lmao. Hope you enjoyed the video!

[homestuckreplay]

kill them with bladekindness

(page 575-586)

9/3/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: It’s The Background Texture

9/4/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: Dave Should Pester John About This

Not much actually happens in these pages, just picking things up and putting them down, so I re-read all Dave’s POV sections so far to experience his uninterrupted slow descent into puppet madness. And it was actually very enlightening and is probably a good way of re-reading for character development/analysis now that character switches are happening so regularly.

But today I was just trying to figure out how the fuck hash map works.

Dave brags to John a couple times about being a super hardcore genius sylladex user, and he’s exaggerating, but not totally lying. As well as already having his strife specibus allocated, on p.576 he does a smooth box catch after seeing the fireworks ejected out the corner of his eye, and on p.579 he shows off by intentionally ejecting and then dodging about ten shurikens. Even though there’s way easier ways he could have accomplished that – such as GENTLY GATHERING (5) the shurikens to free up card 5, then taking the box.

Except, it makes sense if we assume Dave is practicing. In the past we’ve seen Dave mess with his sylladex in his room and in the bathroom, but this is the first time he’s used it in the public areas of the house – and with the Dude Dodge and demonstrations of using different words for the same item and dealing with collisions, it’s almost like he’s putting on a performance. On p.386, he tells John: ‘you should look into weaponizing your sylladex. my bro is always getting on my case about it but man its not as easy as it sounds.’

We’ve now learned that Dave’s bro stocks the kitchen with weapons, which could be there specifically for sylladex practice. Dave’s bro, who it’s been implied also uses hash map, could have been practicing the shuriken-dodge maneuver for years, to use if he ever gets into a real fight. (Or is there a league? Is sylladex usage a sport and Dave’s bro is like a former high school football player who’s trying to train up a younger family member to relive their glory days)?

These kitchen violence pages pair well with Dave reading the Midnight Crew on p.329-331. ‘A familiar feeling stirs. That feeling is overwhelming, soul-blackening rage. It's the sort of rage that'll make a man feel totally justified in sporting an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades’ is a line referring to Spades Slick, but Dave lives with a man who sports an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades, so I wonder what soul-blackening rage Bro is feeling and why. It makes me think about how a hyperviolent character in a piece of media can be very fun and likeable, but that same trait in a real person, especially one you live with, is terrifying, and certainly gets different reactions from Dave.

Page 585 shows some different options for hash map point scoring, and I wonder which is most user friendly. Scrabble points is fun, but only helpful if you’ve memorized the Scrabble score system. 2-point consonants and 1-point vowels, which Dave has been using, is pretty easy to calculate numbers for, but certain cards seem like they come up a lot more than others. A short, 3-5 letter word will probably occupy cards 5 through 9, and it gets harder to fill up those low numbered cards when calculating in a hurry. The system where A=1, B=2, C=3, etc, probably solves that issue, but involves working with much bigger numbers, which (if playing TTRPGs has taught me anything) lots of people struggle with. A good hash map needs to be easy to calculate and leave items naturally well distributed among cards.

The most effective hash map, I think, wouldn't depend on function but would have a standard set of 20-30 items that you regularly captchalogue and know the values for, along with ways of retrieving them. So when leaving the house, I could have my KEYS in card 6 and use them to OPEN the front door, plus my WALLET in card 0 to EXCHANGE MONEY for goods and services, but when I go home I can switch them out for a BAKING TRAY (6) that I could use to COOK dinner, and a LAPTOP (0) to easily BROWSE the internet. (If I wanted to leave the house with my laptop, I could captchalogue it as a PORTABLE DEVICE (2) for SURFING THE WEB). Getting to know these items really well, and the ways they might be used as weapons, would probably be way easier than just figuring it out as you go.

Of course, when losing a sylladex battle, you can just hit that eject button for a near guaranteed win. It’s possible this counts as a forfeit or is just bad conduct, but with a sylladex full of shurikens it might just be worth it. ‘detect collisions,’ in this context, feels like using training wheels on a bike or those railings over the bowling lane gutters. You should do it to learn, but some assholes will look down on it, and it’s totally not allowed in competitions.

I also noted on this reread how it’s very common for Dave to have the tiny flashing exclamation point above his head when he gets a sudden shock. This might have happened once or twice with John or Rose, I’d need to reread more to check, but it’s definitely a lot more common with Dave. He could be easily startled, it could be an artistic way of showing his emotion when he wouldn’t show it on his face like other characters do, or this could be where Dave stores his unused exclamation points that he’s too cool to put in chat messages.

Finally. I love the bit on p.581 when the picture of Sweet Bro or Hella Jeff gets knocked off the fridge and slowly floats to the floor.

[raccoonfallsharder]

here are a few sneak previews of what we’ve got going on (this is really more to organize my thoughts and force myself to come up with titles than anything else)

upcoming rocket raccoon fics behind the cut

1. Window Across the Galaxy

aka long&angsty. hoping to start posting on Sunday or Monday.

Slooowww burn + eventual smut. elements of hurt/comfort because rocket is the saddest-angriest boy. Slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points).

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

She looks at the rusted bars, and back to her brute of a tour guide, and sighs heavily. Slowly, she turns back to the cage, swaying toward the bars so she can peer in at eye-level. She’s immediately face-to-face with the creature. His ears are still pressed flat against his head, fur bristling, and he’s gazing back, clearly suspicious and probably - justifiably - feeling more than a little bit mean. She’s suddenly certain that if she got close enough, he’d take out her eyes. There’s no helping herself, is there? One corner of her mouth twists up in exhausted resignation and she nods. “Welp,” she says solemnly to the raccoon, “fuck me, my dude.”

2. Blackmail Material

(codename: pwp???). will probably post part 1 in a week or two.

just pure fucking smut. this was gonna be two parts but I'm leaning toward three now (smut // fuff // smut). probably takes place sometime after endgame but before volume 3? not that it really matters tbh because there is NO FUCKIN PLOT HERE. ur girl's got a praise kink so that'll definitely be featured per usual.

basically: rocket finds your vibrator.

“I’ll tell you what,” he offers up, still grinning that shit-eating grin. “I won’t say a word and I’ll give it back to you. You can even keep whatever batteries are in it.” That sounds too good to be true. You raise a brow and cross your arms in front of your breasts. “If?" “If you let me watch you use it,” he challenges, eyes daring you. “For science.”

3. Domestic Scenes in Space Travel

(codename: ok sweatshirt girl.) i dunno -maybe post the first one by mid-august?

Comics-inspired but not exclusive - just a buncha feel-good fuffy one-shots and equally feel-good smutty one-shots. Series of slice-of-life readerxrocket one-shots following The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl.

“Just try not to push any buttons or pull any levers till you know what they do.” You snort. “I fully intend to keep my hands completely to myself unless I have your explicit permission to touch.” Rocket leers. “That could be fun.” Your eyes narrow. “Space Pilot, I’m gonna need you to focus on the task at hand so I don’t end up accidentally jettisoning us.”

4. Other Duties As Assigned

(codename: schemers, dreamers, & multicalendar memers) i don't have an intended outcome for this fic yet so while i am VERY much enjoying it, i first need to grapple with whether or not i'm okay posting something that may be unfinished. i usually try to avoid that.

I have no idea whether this will get smutty or not (probably, knowing me?). Begins five months after The Snap.

Natasha Romanoff is an administrative nightmare - a fact that does not go unnoticed by the (interim) captain of the Milano. First she demands that the remaining two Guardians of the Galaxy be reachable via a primitive Terran messaging system, and then she can't be bothered to read the frickin' emails.

Thank fuck she's hired a new assistant.

**THIS MESSAGE IS ENCRYPTED** To: <nromanoff@aee.org> From: &lt;rocket@aee.org> Subj: re: WHAT THE FUCK RED Date: Monday, September 24, 2018 7:34am well that’s probably the nicest message I’ve gotten since I hacked the internet I’m gonna have to kill your boss though

(a super-secret spoiler sidenote - i have a formula and I shamelessly overuse it, so there are no surprises here: girl falls first, raccoons falls harder. every fuckin time friends.)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Yesterday I posted about several Britcom tourism things I did in London, which were far too niche to make sense, or possibly to justify doing at all, but were still probably the coolest things I've done in at least 5 years. Here, though, is a far more reasonable bit of comedy tourism:

I left 2 pens, from my dad and I, because when I was young he and I read all the Hitchhiker's Guide and Dirk Gently books together, then did Last Chance to See and Salmon of Doubt. By "together", I mean he read the to me even though I was more than old enough to read on my own (11-13, I think, we went through them all a bit at a time over a couple of years), but if was a fun bonding thing and I think he wanted to share them with me because they were books he loved when he was younger.

After I left the pens there I realized that's probably some sort of thing we're not supposed to do, I'm sure it's bad for the environment or something. Like the marmalade sandwiches. Oh well, already done.

The other thing since the last update was I saw Daniel Kitson's show, which was absolutely incredible (turns out comedy is cooler in person than on a recording!), and I would write about that, but 1) I have to get off this train soon and wouldn't have time to nearly do it justice, and 2) afterward I met him briefly and got a picture with him and completely lost the ability to speak and I cannot think too hard about that without cringing. John Robins and Elis James talk about the phenomenon of "getting it wrong" when you meet your heroes and how this can be a problem because you might not be able to enjoy their work anymore without remembering the time you got it wrong, ironic that that's who described the concept to me as the main person with whom that's happened to me is John Robins (I haven't even met John Robins... but his friend telling you "I found your Tumblr blog" and then taking down a YouTube video because you shared it has to be the ultimate getting it wrong). I can't really listen to John Robins now and really need that to not happen with Kitson, I'm very glad we've added a last-minute ticket to see him Thursday so the overriding memory will be that amazing show, and not being unable to look at him or speak when some people very kindly got him to meet me and he very kindly agreed to take a picture even though he is on record as saying he hates everyone who likes him. But he did not seem to hate us, he was incredibly nice, I am very glad I did that and will be very glad I have that picture once I am able to look at it, which is not now so it's not getting posted. It might not have helped that I spent the journey here listening to recordings of him from 2003-2006, when he largely spoke about hating everyone who likes him. It may be outdated information. You cannot hold people to everything they said in 2004.

...Right, I'd like to stop thinking about that now, though as usual in a this-blog-is-cheaper-than-therapy way, I feel slightly better for having written it down. Actually writing about the show will take much more time than that, so I won't even try for now as I'm off to other stuff (but holy fuck was it ever cool to see live and it is so very good right now). Got another big comedy tourism thing coming up this morning. To the 3 separate people who've informed me in the last 2 days that they're enjoying reading this as though it's an actual travel blog... I may, by later today, have some comedy tourism pictures that are actually of interest to the Tumblr community and not just my niches. So that'll be fun.

Mind the gap. I'm still not over that.

[vilevexedvixen]

Batman villains' malleability

Something I like about comics is that canon is much less strict. Characters are more just loose concepts able to be reimagined with each spinoff and reboot with little protest that it "conflicts with canon". People can pick and choose which versions are their favourite, and one fan liking different material to another fan doesn't mean they can't bond about the fact they still adore the core concepts of the characters and series. Criticism of different versions also tends to be very civil unless someone's trying to act superior based on their preferences.

I find it fascinating how some characters vary a lot more than others.

Poison Ivy varies massively on whether her powers are magical or just concoctions she's made using plants or something in between. How human or plant she is also varies (and usually is reflected in how green her skin is). Sometimes she's primarily motivated by environmental causes, and sometimes she's called an ecofascist (for people who cannot tell the difference, ecofascism uses environmental causes to justify racist oppression of people they claim are the "cause" when it's much wealthier nations that are actually responsible for a vast majority of the damage and emissions. Ivy is not an ecofascist, or if people try to write her as one they seem to think it just means "plants over people" which it doesn't.). Sometimes she's very motherly, othertimes not. Usually on the sexier side regardless of whether that aspect of her is focussed on or utilised as part of her arsenal (seduction and whatnot). Sometimes feminist, sometimes only focussed on plants (which is sometimes played as sexual attraction, her being part plant or just being disillusioned with humanity). Basically, she is surprisingly varied once you stop to think about it.

Batman varies too, but it tends to purely be in personality (usually based on a scale of how edgy the writers want to make him) with very little change in his appearence or other aspects of him.

I like how with characters such as Catwoman, their ethnicity and class can change / play into their character differently. I like that Selena doesn't have to be a rich white woman (like in btas) to be Selena. Whereas other characters see no changes to either of those traits in most of their interpretations (outside of fanon) and I feel like for those characters where people are used to having a pale boi like with Riddler some sects of the fandom might get needlessly huffy about it despite not minding Selena's variability.

With so much able to be changed while still recognisably reflecting the core character they're based on, it makes these characters so fun to write about and means as a DC (but especially a Batman) fan there is always something to read or watch that'll be up at least one person's alley.

[muchymozzarella]

Fandom, Friendship, and Paranoia

Ever since I started engaging with and posting Miguel/Miles content, I gained 140 followers on Twitter, 600+ comments on my fics, and I've seen large artists with almost or above 10k followers post Flowerfang, one of whom specifically started shipping them BECAUSE of my fic.

Most of the friends I've made in the fandom are nonwhite like me, and we enjoy sharing our multicultural backgrounds, helping each other with translations and discussions on the culture behind Miguel and Miles' characters (many Mig/mi shippers are black, there was even a meme posted about it a month back)

Moreover I didn't lose any followers that I could see, and certainly no mutuals. Most of my moots are chill, and the reaction has ranged from interest in the ship to ambivalence to "not my ship but we're still buds". Most of my mutuals also post completely vanilla things, and even if some of my ships aren't for them, we treat each other well, respect each other, like each other.

I have certainly read a few of my friends excerpts of my fic and shown them some of my favourite art. I've made so many friends, so many mutuals from this ship. It's been joyful and fun and even with weird drama every now and then, generally positive.

The reason I say this is because if you truly believe that fandom should be about guilt, hatred, judgment and self-righteousness, then all you're doing is giving yourself problems. You become paranoid, untrusting and untrustworthy. Maybe you'll notice some friends leaving you because they KNOW you'll hurt them if they're honest and vulnerable, others who are ready to throw you under the bus the moment you express an opinion they don't like.

Y'all gotta get away from those kinds of people. Y'all gotta stop BEING those kinds of people. Because those who'll hate you, a human being, a real person, over a fake cartoon character, is someone who's primed to hate and will use whatever little justification they can against you. I've been in various online fandoms for 11 years now, I've seen it happen over and over and over again. There are people who've been around longer who've seen more.

You don't have to like the thing I like. I prefer older / adult Miles x Miguel, but honestly I never bother saying that because antis get mad when you age up a fictional character regardless. People who want to hate me will hate me no matter what. And I'm fine with that, because I've gotten very good at muting and blocking.

You will find a thing you like that others will find distasteful, unacceptable, even disgusting, and you'll spend your time trying to justify it in your head even as your so-called friends destroy you for breaking their rules.

That's not healthy.

A lot of us have trauma, one way or another, and fiction is a tool that allows us to work through it or find joy or even just distract us from the horrendous shit many of us have to deal with day to day. Trying to control other people's healing will open you up to having your own life torn apart.

All because you cared more about fake people than how you treat real ones.

I don't advise engaging in fandom as a judgmental, angry, self-righteous person, because that'll make you a hateful, paranoid, self-destructive person. And that's not something I wish on anyone over fandom.

[itookyoudown]

🍓🍄🧃

From the truth or dare meme!

Plus 🥑 (is it me)

🍓 ��� how did you get into writing fanfiction?

chronic justified brainrot. i've lurked in fandoms in the past admiring photos from afar and reading smut, but never got involved in the community aspect before justified. @rudeflower and i started sprinting in the justified server and i started dorking around with a boyd & tim scrabble fic (a dusty WIP i haven't touched in years) just trying to see if i was capable of writing fanfiction as i'd never written it before. then i was consumed by a vampire AU idea and was encouraged during sprints with @praycambrian @boydcrowdr @acorrespondence to start writing and finish it. never would have completed it without their support and all the fun we had sharing snippets in sprint chat :)

then i did a few givenson prompt fics and it all snowballed from there after i clicked with @sublightsleeper and we started discussing headcanons + characterization. never would have continued writing fanfic without kerri 🖤

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Raylan is actually the better cook between him and Tim. He's the one that'll make a proper Sunday morning breakfast and will do big holiday meals if it involves grilling (also he can bake homemade biscuits ty Francis rip). Tim can make a killer omelette and manage a decent jambalaya but that's about it - Tim thinks putting fast food on a plate counts as "making" dinner. But they're definitely a couple that spend an inordinate amount eating out and heating up ready meals.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

my eyebrows are my most attractive feature as proven by the amount of random ass times both men and women have complimented me about it. this is nice because i do absolutely nothing to them i just wake up like this every day. my natural perfect arch brings them all to the yard etc etc.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

lol YOU WILLOW ofc. also @sublightsleeper too.

(writers truth & dare ask game)

[bythepen98]

I swear there's always that ONE fic that really draws you in to a ship you've never considered before. Like you're aware that the ship exists no matter how unrealistic it is in canon bc that's the fun about shipping but that's different from actually reading one with them as the main characters in an almost romeo and juliet-esque canon divergent setting.

In this case, I'm talking about ShigaDeku, a pairing so unlikely to me considering I hated Shigaraki when I watched the anime (though I sorta reluctantly found him cuter appearance wise when he got rid of the hand-to-the-face get up, the longer hair and ofc the blasted beauty mark. Also if you ignore the creepily detailed expressions he makes -yknow the one in the mall scene). I'm more lenient with him and other antagonist characters in fics depending on the story and how its written tho. And anyway considering my track record in reading mc x their main nemesis plots in the past I figured I could give ShigaDeku a try.

The fic is called Lovers of Lost Dimensions by miss_nighteye (terryh). ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT and it honestly distracted from work for a short while w/c was also highly inconvenient. Wasn't expecting much in the beginning and after finishing it, I wouldn't say its a masterpiece either but it was a good enough story that introduced me to the potential of ShigaDeku IF WRITTEN RIGHT and when the premise is not too dark for my taste as is the case with other -literal-enemies to lovers fics that are chock full of angst.

I am not fond of extreme angst and when authors make the dynamic of the ship too unhealthy for me to even justify it (them extremely dubious tags make me shudder) but Lovers of Lost Dimensions had just enough balance of angst and fluff(?) to draw me in. Now I can't help imagining ShigaDeku in my head and was almost tempted to draw it out before stopping myself.

I don't have a main otp in mha since I stick to gen and even the ones with romance only have Shouto, Bakugo, Shinsou or rarely Ochaco paired with Izuku. The popular ones with like over 10k kudos. So Shigadeku is a novelty to me with an interesting dynamic bc of their different beliefs, their quirks acting like a twisted version of the red string of fate and how they're both too op for their own good (so obviously they're meant to be bc only one can balance the other type beat😷) so it's a pairing that'll be stuck in my head for awhile until something else catches my interest.

[calobrien]

From Nostalgia to You

I remember you and I

I remember the summers, the winters, the springs and the autumns too.

I remember the peace and the excitement as it was yesterday. With you I always felt so high.

I remember the drive to your folks place.

I remember the lonely feeling of the seemingly unending drive home.

I remember the impending feeling of dread wash over me when it began to get late.

I remember all the times I was this close to asking you on a date.

I remember thinking I’d built up the courage, only for my words to betray me and my throat to grow dry.

I remember the fear I felt each time, I was afraid of ruining the moment, how silly was I?

I remember the look you’d give me when your mum told me an embarrassing story about you when you were younger.

I remember how you’d try to justify what you did back then or insist that she had it wrong. She’d always declare she knew best because she was your mother.

I remember how desperately your sisters wanted to make me laugh and how much fun they had telling me your worst habit.

I remember you all play fighting in the living room.

I remember finding it hilarious when they banded together against the monster you would try to inhabit.

You couldn’t quite do it justice, could you?

I remember the sweaty palms I felt when your father asked for a moment to speak privately.

I remember feeling as though there was thin ice beneath my feet.

I remember the overwhelming feeling of anxiety.

I remember what he said, it was the reverse of what I imagined.

I remember being speechless at the sound of his words.

I remember how he wanted the best for you and how in that moment we both seemed to hope that was me.

That gave me what I needed to finally ask you on that date, or so I hoped. Every time I tried my thoughts were met with a fear of ruining the moment. How silly was I?

I remember sitting on your bed running my fingers through your hair as you rested your head on my lap, tears running down your perfect face.

I remember feeling a fraction of the pain you constantly tried to hide whenever you felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me.

I remember how much you hated being at your folks place.

I remember it all you see. Every time we walked the dog, every time we laughed at your sister’s crazy dance moves or her awful jokes.

I remember your mothers cooking; you and I washing up after and how you’d always flick the water at me.

I remember how close we’d get as I tried to stop you.

I remember how still everything would seem in the moment. Then came the embarressment painted on both our faces when your mum walked into the kitchen.

Being with you, I never knew I could feel so free.

I remember it all you see? That'll have to be good enough for me.

By: Cal O’Brien

[shiyorin]

I am a heretic I am very heretic please Yandere Alphabet Ferrus Manus

Yes, you are heretic. Chaos is proud of you.

Tw: Yandere

Yandere Alphabet Ferrus Manus

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Ferrus hates the idea of being affectionate with someone, because it would make him too vulnerable. He'd be very reluctant about the idea at first, and maybe even hostile towards it... but over time, he'd learn to tolerate it, because he really does care for you. He'd try to hint at his affection for you by doing subtle things, instead of outright showing it. He'd do things that make you happy behind the scenes, without you really knowing it. But when his obsession begins to set in, things would start to get really intense and he's terrified about that fact.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He absolutely wouldn't be willing to get messy. He'd probably try to keep things mostly calm and controlled. He has a line that he won't cross, for any reason. But you wouldn't want to know how much he tried keeping back.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Harsh but not cruel. He'd take his time at first, trying to wear you down with persistence rather than outright brutality. After all, he is very utilitarian. He would rather just get his goal, rather than waste what he thinks is meaningless time by making you feel suffering unnecessarily. Yes, he knows sometimes being cruel makes the process faster but he wants an effective plan, not a fun one that'll prolong your suffering; Would he mock you? If it is necessary for his goal, yes.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

If he felt like it was necessary, he would, yes. He'd restrict your freedom, try to restrain you, or possibly even use some kind of sedative, and if he needs to go further than restraint, then he would. He's not doing this for his own gratification, he sees this as a completely pragmatic process. He's trying to accomplish something, and if violating you will make this more efficient, then he would have little regard for your well-being and comfort.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He'd bare it very reluctantly. He wouldn't show it right away, probably not until he has you in a vulnerable position. Ferrus'd try to remain aloof and detached until he has you completely reliant upon him, only opening up about his feelings once it's too late for you to back out.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Very annoyed. He'd be upset that you weren't being cooperative and were making things more difficult than you needed to be. It could also make him more ruthless in his pursuit, because once again the idea of inefficiency seems to get him angry.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It wouldn't be a game to him, this is more like a job that he's trying to get done in the most efficient way possible. He wouldn't enjoy you trying to escape. He probably finds it more annoying. If he could, he would just knock you out and prevent you from trying to escape or resist your situation.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When he crosses his line and uses excessive force, far beyond what would be considered necessary for the situation. If he thinks his process might be better through the use of a very violent method, then he would use it. He's not cruel and wouldn't enjoy inflicting the violence, but he wouldn't hesitate to do so, and he'd try to rationalize why his brutality was justified to you.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

A world where everything's going swimmingly for the Imperium, and they just have a simple, tender love. But the actual future is much more bleak.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Ferrus definitely gets jealous, he hates it when he doesn't have control of his emotions and tries to find a way to cope with his jealousy first, but he has a very low tolerance for these kinds of things. So if things go too far, he’d lash out.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He'd definitely be very reserved and stoic around you. A lot of the time he'd have this look on his face which could be accurately described as "done with this."  Most people wouldn't ever be able to tell that he truly does like you through interacting with him, and that's because of how he prefers to keep his emotions very close to the chest. But on certain occasions, he might let those boundaries slip. Maybe on rare instances, he'd allow himself to be a little tender - in certain moments, he might allow himself to soften up.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Ferrus'd probably spend an amount of time coming up with a solid plan to do so. Not a romantic plan, because he'd be very averse to anything that could be considered too emotional, but a really efficient plan. There'd probably be steps that were way too specific, and a whole lot of backup contingency plans just in case. At the end of the day it'd probably end up being pretty successful because of it. Well… Hope so.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

When it comes to anyone else, he's pretty much closed-off, stoic, not particularly expressive. However, around you, he is much softer (well, by his definition of that is). He shows a more raw and authentic version of himself, instead of the one that he puts up for show and for intimidation.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He wouldn't particularly enjoy punishing you, but rather, he does so out of a sense of necessity. To him, it's necessary to punish to maintain that control over the relationship. His punishments would depend on how much you resisted him. But most of the time he just locks you up.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Pretty much. He only lets you keep the things you need to stay alive. He'd put your lives in a very structured environment, where everything is going exactly as he wants it to. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not very patient at all. He has a very limited tolerance for things that he considers unproductive or pointless. Especially when it comes to your lack of cooperation. He doesn't like his time being wasted. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

I feel like he couldn't move on. Not only emotional attachment to you, since the situation is purely practical for him, but also because he's wasted so much time on this; If you successfully escape, he'd be very angry. His biggest hate is being inefficient and losing, and you escaping would be a combination of that. As a prideful person, he'd refuse to accept it, and he'd be determined to hunt you down and re-capture you. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, not guilty about abducting. He would absolutely be frustrated with himself, however, because the fact is that, if he'd been more efficient, then this wouldn't have happened in the first place. So that frustration would overpower any feelings of guilt. And he won't ever let you go, he's gone so far already that it wouldn't make sense to give up now.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His emotional restraint. He's spent so much time suppressing any desire for affection that he's become very numb to it. Not in a way that he doesn't understand love, but just that he doesn't experience it in the same way as others. And your presence has turned his worldview upside down. He's never shown any real interest in love, so he was unprepared for how much your presence affected him. For the first time, he's had to feel something new. And he hates the way that it feels.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He'd find it incredibly annoying! It's making his work significantly more difficult, after all. He doesn't understand why you can't just take it. And he wouldn't ever admit that it hurts him to see you that way.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Ferrus is more pragmatic in his methods than your average yandere. He doesn't enjoy the pain he's inflicting, he just sees it as something that, at this point, is necessary. So that means that all of his methods are purely driven by what he thinks will be the most efficient. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

While his pragmatic makes him very effective, it also makes him very much closed off to emotional responses. He wouldn't allow himself to be emotionally affected by anything unless it aligned with his goals, so his emotional responses would be very shallow. If you can get him off balance between reason and emotion, you'll probably have some time to run away. The problem, of course, is actually getting his emotions out in time to cause this conflict in the first place, because he suppresses them so effectively.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

If it's necessary, yes. It would hurt him too, of course, but he'd view it as necessary to maintain his control.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He'd absolutely revere his love interest, but he would never admit to that. His reason and pride doesn't allow him to. So, he would always be framing the relationship in a very transactional way.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Even though he's not patient, he's incredibly persistent, and he's not prone to rash thoughtless decisions. And surprisingly, it's hard for him to snap. I think there would have to be a pretty substantial buildup. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If his emotional limit is reached, his rage would cause him to completely lose all logic and reason. He'd be horrified at what he'd done afterwards, but at the moment he'd be far too blinded by his emotion to realize what a poor decision he'd made.

[fangaminghell]

Sick and suffering but trying to put my own person spin on some of the teams in Insurgence only bc 1) I like team building and 2) this game was designed to be difficult, so lots of generally popularly strong pokemon were picked. Not entirely a bad thing, but I do want some variety.

Now, given how the story goes, the full teams I'm giving them ( at least for Orion and kinda Xavier) isn't what Yancy sees first. But still, it's for fun lol.

I mention this bc I'm torn with East right now. His og team is fine ( I REALLY like that his mega altaria has return I think that's pretty cool story telling even if he doesn't get much attention), but I want to make it more ...personal? Yeah

So far I kept Skarmory, Kingdra, Altaria, Kingdra and Noivern. I feel like Skarmory and Kingdra matches the vibe of East. Noivern is slightly harder to justify but I do think it matches in a way. And Altaria is just cute. The hard part is trying to replace talonflame and Gliscor. And I love Gliscor but I didn't exactly think it fit east. Maybe that'll change, but I swapped Talonflame for Staraptor , probably bc I was thinking of a canon pokemon butler that has one. As for Gliscor I'm actually not sure.

I was thinking Delta Arcanine but I felt it skewed too much to the dragon typing. The pros of the pokemon is that it kinda represents East's relationship with Jaern. Being his guard dog, someone who he shows the most loyalty too.

As for the other option I was thinking Delta Noctowl? Again it's more of a vibe thing that anything. I'm not 100% sure here lol.

[tieria-erde]

tagged by nika @pianofish ty!!! :3

last song i listened to:

im being honest it was summer buzz by nika...! go listenn please their music is always so beautiful. i wanna do a cover of this song sometime soon... (probably not acapella this time bc i like the percussion too much) i have vague ideas for an mv that i am not sure i have the skill to execute but i wanna try anyway. i need to lay down some thumbnails but i see it in my brain it's similar in style to iyowa's imawanokiwa mv

alsoo this wasnt the question but im recommending this vocaduo song because its really pretty and i like it a lot

currently watching:

i watched spirited away for the first time this past week it was soo lovely...! a while back i went on a mall date with a friend and i bought a cute spirited away button down just because it was purple and i said to myself "well i haven't watched spirited away but if i watch it and like it that'll justify the purchase right?" and then forgot to watch it... but now i have, and i liked it, so i can wear that shirt without a heavy conscience 👍

currently reading:

not really "current" but i recently read the storytelling animal by jonathan gottschall for one of my classes next semester and i liked it! some parts i found irritating but it was still a fun read to pick apart. ive also been meaning to get back to reading the insomniacs after school manga... the anime was so so so wonderful but the only scanlation i've found for the manga doesn't look all that high quality ;w; i still wanna read it though

oh also JUST last week finished rereading heir's game by suspu, beautiful beautiful comic. andd last month i reread when the day comes by omyo which is my favorite webtoon of alllll time ever. sorry for being a webtoon guy i promise i do it with a distinct theme-understanding air 💜

current obsession:

i have been working for like a month on english translyrics for eimin no susume by narumiya. this isnt my first attempt at writing translyrics (i have tried so many times to write translyrics for itte by yorushika but i think that song's just impossible to translate well in general) but it is the first time ive gotten anywhere close to finishing them... im not as mindblowingly depressed as i was a few weeks ago so im not actually sure i'll still want to cover the song by the time i finish these lyrics but i wanna see it through to the end! and its a fun song to sing anyhow (speaking of covers ive been sitting on this 90% complete cover for a while that i just need to finish recording harmonies on..... maybe i'll go do that after i post this)

also my mom made egg tarts yesterday and they are so awesome and tasty. obsessed with those for sure as well

this isn't really an obsession but i also want to mention i started gnosia a week or so ago at the recommendation of a friend, i kind of got off on a rocky start with it because it wasn't what i was expecting (i am a diehard fan of hidden role games but the singleplayer gameplay just does not scratch that same itch for me) but once i got past that i really started liking it...! i haven't played in a few days but i wanna get back to it

tag 9 people:

umm i dont know that many people ^_^ do it if u wanna do it! no pressure @larnax @vivi-mire @neildylandy @thebeggarlover @ptolemaiios @sunnymatsu

[throwaway-writing]

Day One of Probably A Bad Project

So. Long story short. I was wondering how hard it was to plot on the fly (without any prep or chance to go back and retcon stuff). And decided it would be fun to see if I could write a consistently okay story over a period of time. I was debating doing 30 days, but ended up on a 100.

...I may go back down to 30.

I'm also documenting this on tumblr for the sake of my poor overcrowded notes app.

I've given myself only a couple of rules:

I cannot rewrite or edit anything from a previous day. Even small details. Even grammar mistakes.

I have to try and keep worldbuilding consistent as best I can. No adding new random stuff in unless I can justify it into the wider systems already.

I have (wisely) not given myself a word count to hit, because I value my sanity. I'm going to try for at least a page(ish) a day, but that's not a hard rule.

This was not a spur of the moment decision. I decided on this project a few months ago and waited until my schedule was clear enough. However, I did not allow myself to pre-plot anything. Especially since I thought I was going to tackle a superhero genre thing, and then switched to fantasy last minute. Because my brain has been craving fantasy lately.

In summary for specifically today's writing- Uh. It... happened. Had to completely rewrite the first draft, but I'm satisfied with my dorky characters. I'm trying to give them a big enough setting that they can find enough hijinks to stumble across (and maybe a plot if I can make one up), but I'm sure that'll be fine. One of them already almost bled out. They're already forces of chaos.

It'll be fineeeeee.

[oathbreakerapologist]

Hello hello, I’d love to know the answers to that ask game for questions 4, 11, and 29 👀

hey, thanks for asking!! (questions from this ask game)

4. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

Ghost has always had quite a high opinion of himself, so he'd have a difficult time naming anything as a flaw, but the feature of his that he views as most inconvenient to him is his lack of education.

He was a very difficult child, so he never received much effective schooling; the bulk of his education happened at the hands of the priest who kept him captive. Due in part to his vision impairment (a consequence of his albinism) and due to his being a difficult child, he never learned to read or write as a child, so he was limited to learning auditorily, and he learned only what the priest was interested in teaching him. In practice, this meant that he entered his free life with highly sporadic knowledge clustered around a small number of niche topics—archaic Elvish-language literature and poetry; the theologies associated with Lolth and other deities (particularly Eilistraee) of the drow; and astronomy, of which he learned without ever seeing the stars.

As, beyond those topics, his knowledge was sparse, he had fairly little practical information to work with when he entered his free life, and from his perspective, he's been working at a disadvantage ever since. I think that this is a fairly solid assessment; greatest is quite subjective, but it is at least a notable flaw.

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

Pleasure. More than anything else, Ghost is generally motivated by hedonism. He kills because he likes to kill; he finds violence fun, exciting, often erotic, and he seeks out opportunities to enact violence because more than anything else, he craves pleasure (both sexual and otherwise). This means that violence possesses no special status for him—though while involved with the Cult of Bhaal, he had reasons to at least behave as if he believed it to have spiritual significance—beyond merely being a reliable source of pleasure and excitement. So if he suspects that refraining from violence in a certain context will have a greater pleasure reward than he would get from doing that particular act of violence, he'll refrain.

A major part of his arc in the BG3 campaign was discovering how deeply enjoyable it can be to have relationships (sexual and nonsexual) with other people. Knowing that he'd be losing some of the long-term pleasure derived from those relationships if he sought out the short-term pleasure associated with certain acts of violence is often enough to keep him in line. He has a much harder time justifying not being violent when he's not being watched, or when he thinks he can get away with it.

29. What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

Ah, this was a hard one! I think the best advice I could give him is based on the fact that he's going to be around for a long time (I choose to headcanon that as the direct offspring of a deity, the Dark Urge is has a limited form of immortality, much like Dame Aylin. For Ghost, I think this means that it is possible to kill him—though maybe challenging to keep him dead—but that he won't really age past his physical prime and he wouldn't ever die of old age or related conditions, and he's also immune to disease because of paladin features.)

So my advice would be that he might as well try and find something he likes to do that'll take a long time, maybe a difficult skill to master or a very slow-running project or something of the sort, because he's more or less uniquely suited to do something like that. Even the lifespan of an average elf offers potential for degrees of long-practiced mastery that humans will simply never achieve; he's looking at longer than the longest-lived elf, if he plays his cards right and doesn't get himself murdered. What would it look like to spend a little bit of time every day practicing a skill for 50 years? How about 100 years? How about 500 years? How about 1,000 years? How about 1,500 years? Etc., etc.

(I think he'd be a pretty good dancer. In 500 years, he'd make an unbelievably good dancer.)

[lazaruspiss]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @roipecheur mwah mwah !!

1. how many works do you have on AO3? - 34

2. what's your total AO3 word count? - 65,516

3. what fandoms do you write for? - its pure DC brainrot babes. maybe that'll change one day, but i have a hard time balancing multiple interests

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? - A Kind Place To Rest, What’s in a gift?, Indulgence, Always a Kitten, Red Wings

5. do you respond to comments? - i try!!! but know that even if i don't reply i give each and every comment a lil smooch

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - most of my stuff is pretty fucked up, but Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish. and The Leagues That Go Bump In The Night are probably up there? both because they involve Dick experiencing violent assaults with the promise of more to come and because he doesn't compartmentalize/justify/repress it much at all. so he's just forced to experience The Horrors. Damian's chapter in A curse in disguise. is the thing that actually makes me wanna yell though. I wrote that?? I only have myself to blame for making me feel things??? what the fuck man.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - tough question. hm. I was able to pull up like, 6 candidates, but I'm not really sure how to measure "happy ending". Endings that were the most... more happy by the end than when they started...? i guess? There are a few that end on a "and the ship sailed happily ever after" type note. New Beginnings is a bit more enthusiastically happy, because Dick and Kori are just so damn excited to have babies

8. do you get hate on fics? - most of the hate i've gotten has been tumblr anons, lol

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind? - the freaky kind >:) (22/34 of my fics are explicit)

10. do you write crossovers? - nah. thought about it, have wanted to, but it takes a bit more planning than a regular fic

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? - nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - no, but i would welcome it so long as it linked back and all that

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - WAIT YES I HAVE. in middle school i think? during a sleepover a friend and i sat together on a couch and sent emails back and forth, taking turns adding onto a smut fic about british gaming youtubers that i dont think they even knew? also our incredibly innocent/prudish christian friend might have also been there lmao. that fic stayed in our emails im pretty sure.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? - ough...h hg..... jay and cole from ninjago. w other series i tend to be more "pick a fav and explore all possible parings involving them", but i only ever picture jay and cole with each other. for me that means something

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? - oh uh. gotta bust out file explorer hold on. I did plan on making an entire series of fics connected to Little Princess, but I doubt I'll get to that, especially bc im not that proud of that fic anymore. there are a couple more fairly detailed and large projects sitting in my scrapped folder. and i mean, i keep a scrapped folder bc that way i dont have the pressure of finishing it but i still have the option if i want to.

16. What are your writing strengths? - uhm. uh.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? - forget to write the words. i also have a bit of dyslexia and miss stuff no matter how much i proof read

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - depends? if it's a full conversation then i think i'd opt for <dialogue> or something like that, but if it's for random background chatter or mixed language dialogue then maybe just use the actual words. kind of have to, in the second case. spanglish type talk is fun actually, like sometimes i just talk like that to try and figure out what spanish i remember

19. First fandom you wrote for? - probably minecraft youtubers? the first i posted online was my hero academia tho. dont ask me about MHA btw i literally only care about kaminari and stopped keeping up like 4 years ago

20. Favourite fic you've written? - uh. hm. Aha! only my third fic but it ticks all my boxes and i love it dearly: Lulu Belle And The Cat-Chaser