#that'll be fun trying to justify

[nicksolemnlyswears]

CAPABLE HANDS

summary: marcus acacius is tired of his hands only bringing pain and destruction

pairing: marcus acacius x wife!reader

word count: 2.2k

warnings: i don’t think there’s any warning on this one guys. i kept it very pg-13. there’s like one mention of sex but blink and you’ll miss it.

a/n: hello everybody!! so my great friend kiwi ( @yxtkiwiyxt ), aka the biggest javi fan ever, created the 'never have i ever' challenge for the pedro pascal fandom way back in january and i decided to give it a little try. it's such a fun challenge, so if you're a fan of pedro pascal's characters hop on over to her blog and you'll be fed for a while.

in true nikki fashion, i'm very late but she thankfully extended it.

as you can probably tell i got marcus acacius because that man is just straight out of my fantasies and my prompt was 'never have i ever built something with my own hands'.

this came to me so fast. the moment she gave me the prompt i just knew! that being said it did take me like one month too long to finish it (again bad nikki habits).

my sincerest apologies empress kiwi 🥺 hopefully this is to your liking.

enjoy 🤍

His hands were made for war—for fighting, for holding a sword and not letting go until his arms felt like lead and the enemy was taken care of.

They're full of callouses and wounds that'll never heal. Scars that remind him of the person he is. General Marcus Acacius.

Despite the current leadership, he loved serving Rome. He was indebted to Rome. It is his home, and it forever will be.

He was proud of his achievements. He's come farther than he ever imagined, yet as the years go by, he can't help but feel that seed of guilt in the root of his stomach sprout bigger with each passing battle.

There comes a point where he cannot justify the cruelty and viciousness with which they fight.

They tear families apart, kill brave men defending their own homes, burn villages to the ground, and loot in the name of Rome.

For what?

More power, more riches, more glory—all while the country grows impoverished and hunger takes its claim on those less fortunate.

He yearns to return to glorious Rome. Beautiful Rome with marble pillars and vivid sceneries. The place where his lovely wife, you, waits for him after each conquest.

General Acacius yearns to forget.

You're the one who reminds him his hands are capable of more. They are gentle when he holds you. When he grabs onto your hips until you're spilling over him.

They're the ones you hold as you stroll in the gardens. Or when you insist on heading to the market despite your status.

They are soft, patient, encouraging.

His hands that tuck your hair behind your ear when a rebellious curly strand tickles your face.

And yet he always falls into that deep despair. Nights when he can't sleep, thinking of all the damage he's done to innocent people. He did it willingly at one point, chasing that infamous glory where Gladiator games would be held in his honor upon returning to battle.

Now, that glory mocks him. It's a mirage in the desert. Beautiful from afar but bitter up close.

He's selfish. Marcus Acacius could stop, but it would mean his death. He can deal with death, but he will not be the cause of yours.

So, as he untangles himself from your arms, Marcus goes outside to sit and watch over the city, vigilant. He remembers the market and the artisans building beautiful things with their hands—hands calloused and scarred from their skill, not weapons and death.

They say life mimics art.

He wishes to use his hands for more than striking. He wants to see his hands as more capable like you do.

His greatest skill, besides being a swordsman, is being observant. What makes General Acacius great is the way he's able to analyze a situation and strike at the weakest point. The next time you drag him to the market, he watches over the artisans, the tools they use, and their creations.

"Is anything the matter, husband?" You ask, grasping his arm. You don't miss the way he stares at the knife in the artisan's hand, and you worry.

Your husband doesn't like it much when you come to the market. He doesn't believe it to be entirely safe for a woman of your standing. Still, your beloved Marcus spoils you and lets you come. Accompanied by him, of course, and guards when he is not able to join you.

His focus shifts from the skillful shaping of the block of wood to you. He softly smiles, pressing his hand upon yours. "Are you ready?"

You nod with a smile, chattering about the fresh fruit you picked and the pastries you'll ask the cooks to bake for you. Woefully unaware of your husband's purchases.

That same night, when the same old nightmare wakes him, Marcus untangles himself from your limbs and sneaks away to a bench in the gardens. Under the stars, he looks at the block of wood in his left hand and the sculpting knife in his right.

As the knife starts to chip away at the wood, the more he distracts his mind from his duty as a General. In a way, he turns mindless, focusing on the rough edges and the splinters, successfully filling his hands with new creative wounds.

At first, you're blissfully unaware since Marcus always returns to your side before you wake. Then, wooden figures start being placed by your bedside, with rough initials scratched on the bottom.

Your dear husband never cared to mention his new hobby or the fact he was gifting you his work. It was unspoken. You cherish each one of his small sculptures, saving them and leaving them on display.

With each one, he only got better and better. Pride swelled on your chest as you witnessed his artistry grow.

It is refreshing to see him work through his worry with art instead of violence. You, more than anyone, know what ails him when he returns home fresh with new wounds.

There is no war raging around him, yet it remains in his mind. The Gladiator games do not entertain him as they do the rest of the Romans. He's forced to sit and watch the strongest prisoners fight all over again, killing what remains of his conquests.

His reluctance to go to the markets fades away. Marcus Acacius joins you a bit too eagerly, looking for a moment to observe the artisans and the skills they implement.

You take your time, inspecting each fruit and vegetable you have in your hands. Simply to give him more time.

The more he joins you, the more they notice him watching. A quiet, old artisan going as far as beckoning Marcus to come closer and ask the questions on the tip of his tongue.

"Are you ready?" You ask when there is no more to do, joining his side.

"If you are done, yes," he says aloof, leaving coin to the artisan who taught him a few things.

You smile, resisting the urge to giggle. Your big, strong husband avoids talking about what he finds enjoyable.

Warriors are not often seen as artists.

One night, you wake and find him missing from the bed. His spot is cold and empty; he's been gone a while. Unable to sleep, knowing he is awake, you search for him, a shawl wrapped around your shoulders to avoid the chill of the night.

A torch is lit in the garden, and you follow it like a moth to a flame. That's where your husband sits on a bench, knife in hand, and wood scrapings littering the trimmed grass.

"I was wondering where you found the time," you say, shuffling closer and sitting beside him. Shoulders brushing comfortably.

Marcus' head turns towards you, red dusting his tanned cheeks. "I can't sleep," he admits.

"Is it the nightmares?"

He nods, carving smaller details onto the wood, giving it a recognizable shape. His hands have new calluses from gripping the wood and the knife's differently shaped handle.

"You've become quite the woodcarver," you say, changing the subject he does not like talking about.

You won't push him. He has enough in his mind. You're thankful he's not like the other Generals who find distractions at the brothels.

"I've got a long way to go," he responds, turning the wood figure in his hands to assess it.

"Not tonight, though," you tell him, placing your hand over his. "You must join me in bed. It's far too cold without you."

Marcus Acacius softly smiles at you, nodding before placing the wooden figure and knife down. "Whatever my lady wife says."

This small habit of leaving the bed in the middle of the night does not cease. His hands itch to do something, to create, and he listens.

In the end, you're happy if he's happy. You let him be, sometimes dragging him back to bed when you need him most.

At times, you join him, curling next to him, eyes drooping but refusing to leave him. The movement of his hard muscles lulls you to sleep as he works at shaping the pieces of wood.

"There are far more comfortable places to rest, my wife," Marcus says, the low timbre of his voice rousing you from the sleep that threatens to take you under.

"The best place to be is by my husband's side," you sigh, getting more comfortable and ignoring his request. "If you wish me abed, you have to be there."

The time comes when the emperor twins become restless and order him to conquer in their stead. It is time to sully his hands once more with the blood of warriors protecting their home.

With one last wooden figure placed beside your bed and a kiss on your head, he leaves fearfully, wondering if this would be the one time he won't return.

You clutch the figure day in and day out, afraid if you let it out of your sight, bad news will arrive. You press your lips against the smooth surface when you miss him most, bringing it to your chest as if you could feel him close by the simple action.

In his absence, you learn you have been blessed by the gods and are expecting a child. More than ever, do you wish for your husband's safe return.

Many months after his departure, news of the battalion's return spread across Rome in a matter of hours. Your lady-in-waiting heard it from the servants who had gone to the market earlier in the day.

"My lady, your General has returned," she whispers excitedly, helping you get ready for the day.

"Are you sure?" You gasp, clutching your rounded belly in anticipation. Many months have gone by, and you did not think he'd make it for the birth.

The fact that no soldiers come to your door is reassuring. Your husband may be injured but not dead, and that is enough.

"He's been sighted joining the Emperors."

He comes like a breeze in the night, quiet and stealthy. With no need of unnecessary fanfare, he only wished to see you.

Marcus Acacius needed your reassurance once more. That his hands were not to be stained permanently.

He finds you by the fountain, looking as beautiful as ever. Hair curled and loose, front strands pulled back but with that stubborn fringe that refused to be held back. Such a reflection of your being.

A cloak hung around your shoulders, hiding your most precious treasure unbeknownst to him.

"My lady," he calls out, standing a few feet from you.

You look up from the pond of swimming fish, eyes round with surprise and excitement. "Marcus Acacius," you gasp.

He's back home. New scars, healed and unhealed, litter his tanned skin. His hair longer, pushed away from his eyes. He is safe, and he is sound.

You stand to approach him and greet him properly. Your feet drive you forward, and the movement pushes the cloak back, exposing your round belly.

He's always been so observant. It would be hard to miss.

Your arms curl around his neck, bringing him into an embrace. You thank the gods above for his safe return.

Acacius is frozen as his mind catches up with what he's seen. Such a reaction would get him killed in battle. You cup his face while pulling back, "Husband?" The tickle from the scruff on his cheeks is a comfort.

He's not in battle. Marcus is home with you.

His palms softly come to your belly. He's gentle, extremely so. "You're with child?"

"Yes," you say breathlessly, awaiting his reaction.

"You're carrying our child?" His voice is thick with emotion. Unshed tears fill his eyes as Marcus kneels on the ground, palms feeling the soft kick of his unborn child.

He only ever wished to have children with you so they'd take after their mother. It's been in the back of both of your minds, but his role as a General often took precedence.

"I only found out once you left," you confess, placing your hands over his. "Are you happy?"

"This is the happiest I've ever been," he says, standing to finally place his lips upon yours. There's a grunt in the back of his throat as he pulls you close or as close as your belly would permit. "You've made me the happiest man in the world, my wife."

General Marcus Acacius has a new purpose in life. He is becoming a father of a baby boy or baby girl. Nonetheless, he wishes to leave war far behind.

He needs to be in Rome to watch them grow and become noble people. He does not want to leave for months or years at a time, and he does not want them to see him in deep despair when he returns from such physical and mental battles.

Whenever he returns from war, the nightmares become more vivid, keeping him awake. His hands itch to create and to distract his busy brain.

This time, it is no exception.

Untangling himself from your tight hold, Marcus Acacius walks to the gardens. Picking up his woodcarving tools along the way. His hands itch for a new project, and what better project than building his child's crib.

sorry it wasn't very romancy, i really focused on general marcus acacius inner turmoil, don't we love a troubled man?

[lumsel]

An update! The last playtest I did for Jamhouse was encouraging, but unsurprisingly it's revealed a few issues with conveyance that I need to address.

I've approached Jamhouse with a philosophy of, like, conceptual minimalism, and I've been extending that idea to player training. I want as little tutorialisation in this game as possible, because all the special tricks and swishes I think it'd be fun to have the player figure out on their own. Stuff like how the downthrow teleports you to the top of a stack, so you can use it to rapidly move from the bottom of the field to the top, is fun for a player to figure out on their own. Through the process of playtesting, I would figure out exactly how much I could get away with not teaching the player, and how much I would be forced to make explicit.

There's two issues I was already faintly aware of even before this playtest: some players don't figure out directional throws, and some players don't figure out they have to make three in a row to score points. Both of these I think are easily solvable with onscreen messages that'll appear if we detect the player hasn't stumbled upon either of these essential concepts: show a "try making three in a row!" message after a while if the player hasn't made any matches after a good while, and show "try pressing down + throw!" if they haven't made any downthrows. That way I can still encourage the joy of discovery for 90% of players, but I still guarantee that info will reach that remaining 10% who might otherwise get frustrated.

The bigger issue, though, is the overall structure of the game. Jamhouse has a unique difficulty system: the gauge on the left represents the current difficulty (how many jams per second are falling onto the field), the meter on the right shows a score quota. Difficulty rises over time, but filling the score quota resets it back to the base level and buys you a little more time.

I was really really hoping that with clever visual design players could figure all that out on their own. They would see the meter filling on the right and resetting, and they might notice that conspicuous pressure gauge on the left, and then the pieces could come together from there. In practice, this is simply not happening, even a little bit. As it turns out, when a player locks in, they completely tune out everything that's happening outside of the play space. That means they're not even noticing the meter filling up or the pressure gauge rising as they play, and methods I had devised to try and naturally draw the player's eye to these elements (like, say, a jet of steam shooting out the pressure gauge when it resets) are unlikely to work.

The funny thing is that players not understanding these mechanics didn't really seem to get in the way of the fun factor? That very much was the feedback I got. When I tried to explain how it all works to players after they'd finished playing, a lot of them would tell me that they were having enough fun that they didn't really care that they didn't catch the intricacies. So, no harm, no foul, right?

Wrong!!!! While Jamhouse remains fun on a base level when you don't have any comprehension of the broader structure, a lot of the game's longevity comes from what the quota mechanics bring to the table. It adds a lot to know that no matter how cooked you seem to be, you can always buy yourself more breathing room by filling the quota. And knowing that the difficulty ramps up and resets like that creates naturally peaks and valleys of intensity that keep engagement up. The game is genuinely a lot more shallow without knowledge of the difficulty pacing, and I suspect strongly that players will tire of the game more quickly if they don't understand it. They'll just be at maximum stress all the time, because they won't notice when the game is easing off the throttle!

Anyway, that's enough justifying myself. How do we fix this information gap? Here's ideas:

I wanna replace that big "LEVEL UP" message with something else. "Level up!" doesn't mean anything! The player's eyes glance off it. Something like "QUOTA REACHED" would be a lot better for conveying information.

Music will help. Tying the music in the game to the difficulty will make those difficulty mechanics much more immediately intuitive-- you'll be able to hear the music calm way down when you reach the quota, and then gradually rise in intensity again over time.

The metaprogression in this game might be able to draw more attention to these mechanics? Having achievements and unlocks be tied to the quota system will draw the player's attention to it more, for example, and there could be unlocks tied to allowing the difficulty gauge to max out that could then draw player attention to it even more.

Buuut let's be real. The actual answer is:

Just fucking tell the player how it works! It's two text boxes worth of information!! The concept itself is just too abstract for a player to reliably figure it out without a guide, so just cut the middleman! On your first run, the game will pause and show two text boxes that tell you how difficulty rises over time and filling the quota resets the difficulty. Stop overcomplicating it!!!!!!!!

The obvious correctness of this course of action perhaps breaks my little heart, because I do love that bullshit hipster zero tutorial type design, buuuut... sometimes you really do gotta make compromises to your perfect pure artistic vision. The game will be all the stronger for it!

[homunculus-argument]

Honestly as a worldbuilding thing, one thing that's massively liberating is to just let yourself create a crapsack world. Don't try to go out of your way to think of the Bleakest And Shittiest Dystopia You Can Think Of if that's not fun for you, but just allow yourself to create whatever's coming and if some part of it sucks, just nod in agreement and go "yeah, that's shitty for those people/that feature of the world is awful for everyone involved" and carry on. Don't try to force yourself into creating a perfect utopia where nobody suffers, because that'll limit your creativity and make you turn defensive when someone points out that the world you created has flaws. It will have some, no matter what you do.

Let yourself create a nuanced world with both light and darkness in them. You can write an impressive empire that gave birth to massive leaps in technology and infrastructure, but they were also shitty imperialists whose machine was oiled with the blood of slavery. You can write monarchies with fun court intrigue and nobility who commission artists and poets to create breathtaking beauty while aknowledging that their funds to do so were wrung from the labour of serfs. All social systems are shitty in their own, unique ways, and aknowledging that there's both injustice and suffering and beauty and sparks of joy in any society doesn't make you an apologist or a hypocrite, it just makes your world more real.

You're not obligated to only create something perfect, flawless and entirely justified. As a matter of fact you literally cannot do that. Just let the worlds you create have some parts of them that reek like shit.

[redux-iterum]

Sometimes I just have to reread and reread and take in how you’ve written Fireheart because it’s just so…

He’s just so good. So genuinely and unceasingly good. He cares so much and more than that he’s wise. Sometimes a character will say something and I go ‘there’s no way to comfort someone about this’ and then five minutes after that Fireheart says something wise that makes me rethink some shit that I, a real life human, am doing. Which is hard! This is harder to write convincingly than a strong character, because a character like Fireheart whose greatest strength is his heart HAS to follow through. And he has to be genuinely emotionally intelligent in a way that can’t just be, like, told. It has to be shown. And you manage to show that to us flawlessly, constantly, and consistently.

Like, man. No wonder everyone loves this guy. I love this guy. Absolute favorite version of Fireheart that I have EVER read.

Also, follow-up, Cloudpaw’s situation. You managed to make it not kind of infuriating, you found a reason for what he was doing that honestly broke my heart, and you did it all so naturally I’m still reeling over it. And then you managed to have Fireheart make an argument so convincing without contradicting the beliefs that he already has (ie: he’s not a xenophobe) and it just. Man. I hadn’t even thought of come of that stuff. I’ll be honest, I remember reading the original series and thinking it was morally neutral for Cloudpaw to go eat kittypet food, and now I’m rethinking it!

It IS rude to steal food. It IS rude to feed yourself in a way you can’t share with the people you love who are in constant threat of starvation. I always thought of it as a practical way to feed himself that didn’t take from his clanmates but…it isn’t fair, is it? It’s not fair at all for him to do that. Most of the argument in the original series felt like ‘OTHER CULTURE BAD AND WRONG AND YOU WRONG FOR PART IN IT’ and it made me kind of side with Cloudpaw out of sheer spite. But this is so much better! Actual arguments! And REASONS! That make sense for why these kitty people are doing what they do and thinking how they think!

We always say the Erins were two steps to the left of greatness with these battlecats. I think they were actually two miles away, because they have never provided the characterization they need. I think they were two miles away because the premise is great, sure, and they can handle plot but they are incapable of making these cats feel like the people they are. The Warriors Clans in the original never felt like a community because every individual never felt like a living person and I think that’s a problem much farther than two steps away from greatness.

Anyways, all of this is to say: You’re doing great work and thank you for this latest update! I’ve been trying to comment more lately :D Share thoughts and stuff.

I absolutely adore these long, analytical asks. Thank you for this, and for so many compliments!

Fireheart is such a fun little guy to write specifically for his goodness, and how everyone around him interacts with that. It's not often that I get to handle a character as dedicated to compassion and love as him. His entire being is based around "I care" - that's something even his mother doesn't have, and she's the matriarch. There are a couple unique challenges to this that'll come along in the future, so I won't say anything here, but I am very interested to see how you feel about one of the last chapters in this book.

As for Cloudpaw, thank GOD I avoided the annoying aspect of it. His behavior and subplot in the books aggravated me to no end for a variety of reasons that I won't get into here, so I put a lot of work into justifying why he would do that in this version. With Fireheart's explanation of why stealing kittypet food is wrong, as well, I remember sitting down for a long moment with myself and slowly knitting together exactly why Fireheart would not approve of humoring kittypet stuff like that, when he's got the most understanding of that life out of anyone in the Clans. The fairness struck me, and that was his reason. The Clans definitely refuse wet food out of pride and discrimination first and foremost, and don't bother explaining it to kits beyond that, but if someone overheard Fireheart talking to Cloudpaw, they'd snap their fingers, point at him and go, "Exactly! Yes! That!" He managed to put into words a concept that the Clans subconsciously understand but don't really analyze to themselves.

For the Erins: honestly, yes, I agree. I could go on for YEARS about the characterizations and lack thereof in the books (someone remind me to rant about that at some point), and how much of the story could be so much greater and more natural if everyone had a consistent, present personality. And, honestly, that's what was the most wrong about the original Redux - no personalities for anyone. I spend a LOT of time stewing over the characters of everyone written in Iterum to make up for that. It brings me great joy to hear that my work has paid off!

[squinkiy]

hellooo!

last updated may 29 2025

hiyaa!! i'm jerry (they/them), im 18 yrs old [nov 28 2006], and i post abt multiple things lol

i am an artist and will post my art on here. PLEASE DON'T REPOST TO OTHER PLATFORMS WITHOUT CREDIT.

my current interest is ii but do not count on it to be a permanant thing, i have multiple interests! i also will post about my ocs and other personal content if and when i feel like it.

i have a discord server :] (strictly 16+). i'm also active on twitter and youtube. i also have a strawpage!! (send gimmicks pls i beg of u)

if u wanna read more about me (interests, boundaries, etc) its under the cut. otherwise yayy enjoy my blog!!

okay okay okay SO!!!

my main interests include:

inanimate insanity (i love fan paintbrush and fanbrush <333333),

cookie run: kingdom (i haven't touched ovenbreak

osu! (here's my profile if youre curious)

animation memes (i actively make them on my yt)

the amazing digital circus

my little pony (friendship is magic specifically oops)

other hobbies i have are drawing, animating (who up making it their legitimate career in life yoo), writing (fanfiction specifically, i post on ao3 occasionally), plus others

info about what i post here and my boundaries are:

i am an adult. you may interact with me if you are under 16 but do not attempt to befriend me if you are under that age. this is for both mine and your safety and comfort.

i may post mildly suggestive content from time to time in which i will put a 16+ age warning onto it.

my art is not to be used commercially nor without credit, and it's preferred, if applicable, to link directly to where you found the art.

i am neurodivergent and thus my communication skills arent THE best especially amongst those i don't know, but i try to come off as kind and a fun person to be around. i won't hesitate to be justifiably rude when i need to however.

if there's anything you need to ask me personally, my dms are open. if it's a quick question everyone could benefit from having an answer to tho, send an ask! also send asks as you please, and i might just do some art requests if they look fun enough to do!! (i won't do all of them tho so don't spam my inbox) this applies to all other ask submissions

i have certain tags i'll use, not including fandom related ones (will add to as needed):

#reblog - for reblogs, mute if you only want to see stuff i originally posted

#jerry art - for my own art!

#jerry animations - for my animations :]

#jerry rambles - for most text posts or other content that deviates from my usual content

#jerry writes - for my writing. as of currently, don't expect this one to be used all that much since ive had a year+ long writer's block and i don't know when that'll end

#jerry ocs - me when my characters who i love oh so dearly. ill include art posts containing my ocs under this as well

#ask jerry - for answers to asks i get

#jerry req - when i do requests (both thru asks and strawpage)

i hope that ppl like my presence im a silly guy heh

[amitheantagonist]

Info!

This blog is only for fictional AITAs!

Are you writing your antagonist but can't really get the feel for them? How they think or might act?

Are they the kinda person who thinks it's everyone else's fault? Who thinks they all are overreacting? Or maybe the person who knows what they did is wrong but wants to be seen as the victim? Maybe they just don't care if they were wrong but just want to feel vindicated in their actions?

Well! Feel free to send in an AITA for them and see if people will understand their actions or condemn them

↓↓↓More info below! ↓↓↓

You can send in both non-anon and anon (but if you send in anon make sure to check to see if it's been posted!) I don't have a schedule, but when/if this blog gets big enough to need one I will try my best to make one that'll work <3

You can send in an AITA ask set in the universe of your character/antagonist, I will add the poll where people can vote with their answers, they can also comment with questions if needed in the replies so if you wanna really flesh out your character make sure to check from time to time and answer back ;D

The different choices of the poll and their meaning:

YTA - you're the asshole

NTA - not the asshole

JAH - justified asshole

NAH - no asshole here

ESH - everyone sucks here

INFO - info is needed

The stories can be both original fiction and fanfiction, and it will be fun to see if people can figure out the character :D

If your AITA will need trigger warnings I of course will add them (if you see a AITA you'd need a trigger warning for please ask, I might not be able to fulfill all requests but I will try my best <3)

Trigger warnings:

Racism

Transphobia

Homophobia

Aphobia

ableism

Rape/non con

Pedophilia

Abuse

Substance abuse

(more can and will be added as needed)

I am one person, who's never tried running a blog like this before so please be kind and understanding if there's some trouble along the way!

But other than that (so far) please have fun with it!

This blog is Queer friendly and run by a Queer person!!!

Info about the mod of this blog:

I am Dyslexic so please excuse spelling and grammar mistakes <3

I use he/him

I am an adult :D

[starlightshore]

i think enough time has happened that i can talk freely about Undertale Event...2! if you haven't watched it, uhm. Please do!

Undertale Event

2!

I voiced Dr. Alphys and I did all the artwork.

The only two real fangames were:

Sans the Game

and

Giga Sans

Everything else was made by a couple of friends (and a guest submission, GTA Sans) and me.

Here's my 4 trailers if you just want to see them isolated.

for an explanation to what the hell this even is under the cut:

This is a parody of UnderEvent, a yearly Nintendo-Direct like showcase of Undertale Projects. I know people/have particpated in this since the first year.

While I try my best to keep to myself in the fandom, I do talke with people and dive a little bit into what's going on. I know the words "dust-trust" and "last breath" but i could not tell you what specifc AU they are each. I'm not good at video games so I only really play the big ones (UTY, TS, and most recently Delta-traveler). So like, I'd say i'm halfway there to knowing the basics of whatever the hell is going on in this fandom lmao!

I love how weird and silly this fandom is. I've got my own gripes about different aspects (cough, Sans Therapy: sans has mental illness the fangame was made in part with my extreme frustration with how the fandom handles the topic of mental illness. Like, seriously, cut that crap out...)

but anywayz off my rant for the day, there's a lot of this fandom I can admire from an, admittedly, confused distance.

I'll actually refrain from talking too in-depth about my thought process on the trailers as we plan on doing a commentary edition for the video. That'll be fun!

As for if we'll have a sequel...?

We have no idea yet if we are. I'd only want to make one if we can justify its existence. If you're in the fan-project community and want to be involved, please reach out to me! I can't guarantee we'll let you in as, as I said, I don't even know if we're making a sequel yet. But I love the idea of making a bigger, badder, and more ambitious sequel!

Alas for now I must go...... I'm writing this the night before and i'm sleepy lmao. Hope you enjoyed the video!

[raccoonfallsharder]

here are a few sneak previews of what we’ve got going on (this is really more to organize my thoughts and force myself to come up with titles than anything else)

upcoming rocket raccoon fics behind the cut

1. Window Across the Galaxy

aka long&angsty. hoping to start posting on Sunday or Monday.

Slooowww burn + eventual smut. elements of hurt/comfort because rocket is the saddest-angriest boy. Slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points).

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

She looks at the rusted bars, and back to her brute of a tour guide, and sighs heavily. Slowly, she turns back to the cage, swaying toward the bars so she can peer in at eye-level. She’s immediately face-to-face with the creature. His ears are still pressed flat against his head, fur bristling, and he’s gazing back, clearly suspicious and probably - justifiably - feeling more than a little bit mean. She’s suddenly certain that if she got close enough, he’d take out her eyes. There’s no helping herself, is there? One corner of her mouth twists up in exhausted resignation and she nods. “Welp,” she says solemnly to the raccoon, “fuck me, my dude.”

2. Blackmail Material

(codename: pwp???). will probably post part 1 in a week or two.

just pure fucking smut. this was gonna be two parts but I'm leaning toward three now (smut // fuff // smut). probably takes place sometime after endgame but before volume 3? not that it really matters tbh because there is NO FUCKIN PLOT HERE. ur girl's got a praise kink so that'll definitely be featured per usual.

basically: rocket finds your vibrator.

“I’ll tell you what,” he offers up, still grinning that shit-eating grin. “I won’t say a word and I’ll give it back to you. You can even keep whatever batteries are in it.” That sounds too good to be true. You raise a brow and cross your arms in front of your breasts. “If?" “If you let me watch you use it,” he challenges, eyes daring you. “For science.”

3. Domestic Scenes in Space Travel

(codename: ok sweatshirt girl.) i dunno -maybe post the first one by mid-august?

Comics-inspired but not exclusive - just a buncha feel-good fuffy one-shots and equally feel-good smutty one-shots. Series of slice-of-life readerxrocket one-shots following The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl.

“Just try not to push any buttons or pull any levers till you know what they do.” You snort. “I fully intend to keep my hands completely to myself unless I have your explicit permission to touch.” Rocket leers. “That could be fun.” Your eyes narrow. “Space Pilot, I’m gonna need you to focus on the task at hand so I don’t end up accidentally jettisoning us.”

4. Other Duties As Assigned

(codename: schemers, dreamers, & multicalendar memers) i don't have an intended outcome for this fic yet so while i am VERY much enjoying it, i first need to grapple with whether or not i'm okay posting something that may be unfinished. i usually try to avoid that.

I have no idea whether this will get smutty or not (probably, knowing me?). Begins five months after The Snap.

Natasha Romanoff is an administrative nightmare - a fact that does not go unnoticed by the (interim) captain of the Milano. First she demands that the remaining two Guardians of the Galaxy be reachable via a primitive Terran messaging system, and then she can't be bothered to read the frickin' emails.

Thank fuck she's hired a new assistant.

**THIS MESSAGE IS ENCRYPTED** To: <nromanoff@aee.org> From: &lt;rocket@aee.org> Subj: re: WHAT THE FUCK RED Date: Monday, September 24, 2018 7:34am well that’s probably the nicest message I’ve gotten since I hacked the internet I’m gonna have to kill your boss though

(a super-secret spoiler sidenote - i have a formula and I shamelessly overuse it, so there are no surprises here: girl falls first, raccoons falls harder. every fuckin time friends.)

[vilevexedvixen]

Batman villains' malleability

Something I like about comics is that canon is much less strict. Characters are more just loose concepts able to be reimagined with each spinoff and reboot with little protest that it "conflicts with canon". People can pick and choose which versions are their favourite, and one fan liking different material to another fan doesn't mean they can't bond about the fact they still adore the core concepts of the characters and series. Criticism of different versions also tends to be very civil unless someone's trying to act superior based on their preferences.

I find it fascinating how some characters vary a lot more than others.

Poison Ivy varies massively on whether her powers are magical or just concoctions she's made using plants or something in between. How human or plant she is also varies (and usually is reflected in how green her skin is). Sometimes she's primarily motivated by environmental causes, and sometimes she's called an ecofascist (for people who cannot tell the difference, ecofascism uses environmental causes to justify racist oppression of people they claim are the "cause" when it's much wealthier nations that are actually responsible for a vast majority of the damage and emissions. Ivy is not an ecofascist, or if people try to write her as one they seem to think it just means "plants over people" which it doesn't.). Sometimes she's very motherly, othertimes not. Usually on the sexier side regardless of whether that aspect of her is focussed on or utilised as part of her arsenal (seduction and whatnot). Sometimes feminist, sometimes only focussed on plants (which is sometimes played as sexual attraction, her being part plant or just being disillusioned with humanity). Basically, she is surprisingly varied once you stop to think about it.

Batman varies too, but it tends to purely be in personality (usually based on a scale of how edgy the writers want to make him) with very little change in his appearence or other aspects of him.

I like how with characters such as Catwoman, their ethnicity and class can change / play into their character differently. I like that Selena doesn't have to be a rich white woman (like in btas) to be Selena. Whereas other characters see no changes to either of those traits in most of their interpretations (outside of fanon) and I feel like for those characters where people are used to having a pale boi like with Riddler some sects of the fandom might get needlessly huffy about it despite not minding Selena's variability.

With so much able to be changed while still recognisably reflecting the core character they're based on, it makes these characters so fun to write about and means as a DC (but especially a Batman) fan there is always something to read or watch that'll be up at least one person's alley.

[calobrien]

From Nostalgia to You

I remember you and I

I remember the summers, the winters, the springs and the autumns too.

I remember the peace and the excitement as it was yesterday. With you I always felt so high.

I remember the drive to your folks place.

I remember the lonely feeling of the seemingly unending drive home.

I remember the impending feeling of dread wash over me when it began to get late.

I remember all the times I was this close to asking you on a date.

I remember thinking I’d built up the courage, only for my words to betray me and my throat to grow dry.

I remember the fear I felt each time, I was afraid of ruining the moment, how silly was I?

I remember the look you’d give me when your mum told me an embarrassing story about you when you were younger.

I remember how you’d try to justify what you did back then or insist that she had it wrong. She’d always declare she knew best because she was your mother.

I remember how desperately your sisters wanted to make me laugh and how much fun they had telling me your worst habit.

I remember you all play fighting in the living room.

I remember finding it hilarious when they banded together against the monster you would try to inhabit.

You couldn’t quite do it justice, could you?

I remember the sweaty palms I felt when your father asked for a moment to speak privately.

I remember feeling as though there was thin ice beneath my feet.

I remember the overwhelming feeling of anxiety.

I remember what he said, it was the reverse of what I imagined.

I remember being speechless at the sound of his words.

I remember how he wanted the best for you and how in that moment we both seemed to hope that was me.

That gave me what I needed to finally ask you on that date, or so I hoped. Every time I tried my thoughts were met with a fear of ruining the moment. How silly was I?

I remember sitting on your bed running my fingers through your hair as you rested your head on my lap, tears running down your perfect face.

I remember feeling a fraction of the pain you constantly tried to hide whenever you felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me.

I remember how much you hated being at your folks place.

I remember it all you see. Every time we walked the dog, every time we laughed at your sister’s crazy dance moves or her awful jokes.

I remember your mothers cooking; you and I washing up after and how you’d always flick the water at me.

I remember how close we’d get as I tried to stop you.

I remember how still everything would seem in the moment. Then came the embarressment painted on both our faces when your mum walked into the kitchen.

Being with you, I never knew I could feel so free.

I remember it all you see? That'll have to be good enough for me.

By: Cal O’Brien

[fangaminghell]

Sick and suffering but trying to put my own person spin on some of the teams in Insurgence only bc 1) I like team building and 2) this game was designed to be difficult, so lots of generally popularly strong pokemon were picked. Not entirely a bad thing, but I do want some variety.

Now, given how the story goes, the full teams I'm giving them ( at least for Orion and kinda Xavier) isn't what Yancy sees first. But still, it's for fun lol.

I mention this bc I'm torn with East right now. His og team is fine ( I REALLY like that his mega altaria has return I think that's pretty cool story telling even if he doesn't get much attention), but I want to make it more ...personal? Yeah

So far I kept Skarmory, Kingdra, Altaria, Kingdra and Noivern. I feel like Skarmory and Kingdra matches the vibe of East. Noivern is slightly harder to justify but I do think it matches in a way. And Altaria is just cute. The hard part is trying to replace talonflame and Gliscor. And I love Gliscor but I didn't exactly think it fit east. Maybe that'll change, but I swapped Talonflame for Staraptor , probably bc I was thinking of a canon pokemon butler that has one. As for Gliscor I'm actually not sure.

I was thinking Delta Arcanine but I felt it skewed too much to the dragon typing. The pros of the pokemon is that it kinda represents East's relationship with Jaern. Being his guard dog, someone who he shows the most loyalty too.

As for the other option I was thinking Delta Noctowl? Again it's more of a vibe thing that anything. I'm not 100% sure here lol.

[tieria-erde]

tagged by nika @pianofish ty!!! :3

last song i listened to:

im being honest it was summer buzz by nika...! go listenn please their music is always so beautiful. i wanna do a cover of this song sometime soon... (probably not acapella this time bc i like the percussion too much) i have vague ideas for an mv that i am not sure i have the skill to execute but i wanna try anyway. i need to lay down some thumbnails but i see it in my brain it's similar in style to iyowa's imawanokiwa mv

alsoo this wasnt the question but im recommending this vocaduo song because its really pretty and i like it a lot

currently watching:

i watched spirited away for the first time this past week it was soo lovely...! a while back i went on a mall date with a friend and i bought a cute spirited away button down just because it was purple and i said to myself "well i haven't watched spirited away but if i watch it and like it that'll justify the purchase right?" and then forgot to watch it... but now i have, and i liked it, so i can wear that shirt without a heavy conscience 👍

currently reading:

not really "current" but i recently read the storytelling animal by jonathan gottschall for one of my classes next semester and i liked it! some parts i found irritating but it was still a fun read to pick apart. ive also been meaning to get back to reading the insomniacs after school manga... the anime was so so so wonderful but the only scanlation i've found for the manga doesn't look all that high quality ;w; i still wanna read it though

oh also JUST last week finished rereading heir's game by suspu, beautiful beautiful comic. andd last month i reread when the day comes by omyo which is my favorite webtoon of alllll time ever. sorry for being a webtoon guy i promise i do it with a distinct theme-understanding air 💜

current obsession:

i have been working for like a month on english translyrics for eimin no susume by narumiya. this isnt my first attempt at writing translyrics (i have tried so many times to write translyrics for itte by yorushika but i think that song's just impossible to translate well in general) but it is the first time ive gotten anywhere close to finishing them... im not as mindblowingly depressed as i was a few weeks ago so im not actually sure i'll still want to cover the song by the time i finish these lyrics but i wanna see it through to the end! and its a fun song to sing anyhow (speaking of covers ive been sitting on this 90% complete cover for a while that i just need to finish recording harmonies on..... maybe i'll go do that after i post this)

also my mom made egg tarts yesterday and they are so awesome and tasty. obsessed with those for sure as well

this isn't really an obsession but i also want to mention i started gnosia a week or so ago at the recommendation of a friend, i kind of got off on a rocky start with it because it wasn't what i was expecting (i am a diehard fan of hidden role games but the singleplayer gameplay just does not scratch that same itch for me) but once i got past that i really started liking it...! i haven't played in a few days but i wanna get back to it

tag 9 people:

umm i dont know that many people ^_^ do it if u wanna do it! no pressure @larnax @vivi-mire @neildylandy @thebeggarlover @ptolemaiios @sunnymatsu

[mindorzxperfect]

OC Lore Dump / General Rambling / I Do Not Shut Up Ever I Am So Sorry / Excited Chihuahua Syndrome Haver

Major Lianthus is a Lilty crystal bearer OC I made up by smashing together two completely unrelated and half-assed unnamed OCs into one. His bearer power is literally just haste with him gaining access to hastega as the story progresses. He's a complete menace because he has let himself become completely embittered to the point where he thinks he has the right to decide who deserves and does not deserve to be treated with dignity. The crystal growth is inside his mouth, along the inside of the tissue and his jaw bones to a significant enough degree to render him mute by choice because talking is exhausting.

His original designs were between a Lilty girl with a completely crystallized jaw in command of blizzard and what had been the unnamed warden of the Aerial Prison pre-Jegran power-grab with a crystallized tongue and command over thunder. Haste came after I named them Lianthus because they were once partnered with Keiss and I needed a compatible ability to justify that.

On the topic of their name, Lianthus is short for Melianthus, or honey flower, and means 'Love, sweet and secret' in the Flower Language book I pulled from some random corner of the internet with irregular meanings for flowers. I chose it because Lianthus was never meant to be evil, just heartbroken and disillusioned with everything and everyone. His entire villain arc could have been prevented if he had literally anyone to talk him down from his increasingly unhinged decisions that ultimately were planned to result in his demise.

He is the most fleshed-out CC OC but there are like 9 of them with tons of lore behind them. Lianthus is the only Lilty, though. There are two Clavat that aren't as fleshed-out as I would like them to be. The remaining 6 are all Selkie and former crewmembers of the Izmayel ranging from 15 years older than Keiss to only 5 years older and they as a group are insanely detailed to the point where they'd need their own fic to make sense of exactly how much I've built them up as a group (individually, they actually fall flat really fast aside from two).

All of them are going to pop up in the mf nightmare of a fic I'm writing to rival my favorite finished fic (for fun, not beef) with 500k+ words over 11 years. I may never finish it but boy will I try my best.

So that'll be a thing.

[fallenangelforestprince]

I was too tired to write more last night, which was awful cause my thoughts just kept me up :c But I realized something and it made me super uncomfortable and freaked out, and I think it's important to document it as a reminder if nothing else; cause I know it wasn't the first time, so it surely won't be the last

I was not scolded last night. But it's what I've learned to take as such. When someone gets close to tears over something you did while calling themselves bad names Making you out as a villain, over what doesn't concern them. It's just like my mother, and she did it yesterday, too. Been doing it the whole week Every store trip I hear about the money issues. How she's cancelled appointments cause she can't afford it (it's $120) yet gets mad at me for picking up very little amounts of groceries. Telling me, almost in tears, how I'm making her feel bad, and as if it's her fault I'm 'being like this'. That I want her to feel guilty. How I'm her 'best friend' and she has no one else to talk with. But like?? YEAH. IT KINDA IS? How do you think I feel? I feel so selfish buying stuff that'll just get me fatter when you're denying yourself health related help!! I feel awful!! But no! It's about you! And with my birthday, being all upset over "not doing more". I don't want more!! Stop doing stupid things to make yourself feel better! I don't need more meaningless objects when you've never been there for me for 23 years!! Stop wanting to ease that guilt by driving me nuts and guilting me when you have nothing you can, or are willing, to offer!! No one can help their feelings, I try so hard to never be mad over how someone feels, cause you can't help that! But you can help how you go about expressing them! And why is it always about someone else's? I'm so tired of consoling those who'd never do so for me Then I got basically the same treatment cause I played a game :( They were so hurt they weren't part of my experience with it, proceeding to call themselves too much and justifying it as to basically 'why they deserve to be left' and how they can't blame those who have. But what about me?? I just wanted to have fun and I was guilted of that! That shouldn't have been a crime! None of this should! I didn't do that when I was ignored for a whole month! Despite them knowing growing apart was a big fear of mine. All I could feel was replacement, and they still don't know that hurt. No one's trying to be manipulative, and I understand if things hurt. But this hurts me, too! And oh, yeah. They apologize. Everyone does. So I justify it as it not being meant - that they regret the actions and I forgive them. But I'm not being empathetic anymore, am I? I'm enabling. Every "It's okay" straightens it. It doesn't even feel good to be called important anymore. It just feels like a way to remain stuck Like honey for catching flies, I'm just falling for sweet words and promises. If malice is intended or not

[throwaway-writing]

Day One of Probably A Bad Project

So. Long story short. I was wondering how hard it was to plot on the fly (without any prep or chance to go back and retcon stuff). And decided it would be fun to see if I could write a consistently okay story over a period of time. I was debating doing 30 days, but ended up on a 100.

...I may go back down to 30.

I'm also documenting this on tumblr for the sake of my poor overcrowded notes app.

I've given myself only a couple of rules:

I cannot rewrite or edit anything from a previous day. Even small details. Even grammar mistakes.

I have to try and keep worldbuilding consistent as best I can. No adding new random stuff in unless I can justify it into the wider systems already.

I have (wisely) not given myself a word count to hit, because I value my sanity. I'm going to try for at least a page(ish) a day, but that's not a hard rule.

This was not a spur of the moment decision. I decided on this project a few months ago and waited until my schedule was clear enough. However, I did not allow myself to pre-plot anything. Especially since I thought I was going to tackle a superhero genre thing, and then switched to fantasy last minute. Because my brain has been craving fantasy lately.

In summary for specifically today's writing- Uh. It... happened. Had to completely rewrite the first draft, but I'm satisfied with my dorky characters. I'm trying to give them a big enough setting that they can find enough hijinks to stumble across (and maybe a plot if I can make one up), but I'm sure that'll be fine. One of them already almost bled out. They're already forces of chaos.

It'll be fineeeeee.

[oathbreakerapologist]

Hello hello, I’d love to know the answers to that ask game for questions 4, 11, and 29 👀

hey, thanks for asking!! (questions from this ask game)

4. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

Ghost has always had quite a high opinion of himself, so he'd have a difficult time naming anything as a flaw, but the feature of his that he views as most inconvenient to him is his lack of education.

He was a very difficult child, so he never received much effective schooling; the bulk of his education happened at the hands of the priest who kept him captive. Due in part to his vision impairment (a consequence of his albinism) and due to his being a difficult child, he never learned to read or write as a child, so he was limited to learning auditorily, and he learned only what the priest was interested in teaching him. In practice, this meant that he entered his free life with highly sporadic knowledge clustered around a small number of niche topics—archaic Elvish-language literature and poetry; the theologies associated with Lolth and other deities (particularly Eilistraee) of the drow; and astronomy, of which he learned without ever seeing the stars.

As, beyond those topics, his knowledge was sparse, he had fairly little practical information to work with when he entered his free life, and from his perspective, he's been working at a disadvantage ever since. I think that this is a fairly solid assessment; greatest is quite subjective, but it is at least a notable flaw.

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

Pleasure. More than anything else, Ghost is generally motivated by hedonism. He kills because he likes to kill; he finds violence fun, exciting, often erotic, and he seeks out opportunities to enact violence because more than anything else, he craves pleasure (both sexual and otherwise). This means that violence possesses no special status for him—though while involved with the Cult of Bhaal, he had reasons to at least behave as if he believed it to have spiritual significance—beyond merely being a reliable source of pleasure and excitement. So if he suspects that refraining from violence in a certain context will have a greater pleasure reward than he would get from doing that particular act of violence, he'll refrain.

A major part of his arc in the BG3 campaign was discovering how deeply enjoyable it can be to have relationships (sexual and nonsexual) with other people. Knowing that he'd be losing some of the long-term pleasure derived from those relationships if he sought out the short-term pleasure associated with certain acts of violence is often enough to keep him in line. He has a much harder time justifying not being violent when he's not being watched, or when he thinks he can get away with it.

29. What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

Ah, this was a hard one! I think the best advice I could give him is based on the fact that he's going to be around for a long time (I choose to headcanon that as the direct offspring of a deity, the Dark Urge is has a limited form of immortality, much like Dame Aylin. For Ghost, I think this means that it is possible to kill him—though maybe challenging to keep him dead—but that he won't really age past his physical prime and he wouldn't ever die of old age or related conditions, and he's also immune to disease because of paladin features.)

So my advice would be that he might as well try and find something he likes to do that'll take a long time, maybe a difficult skill to master or a very slow-running project or something of the sort, because he's more or less uniquely suited to do something like that. Even the lifespan of an average elf offers potential for degrees of long-practiced mastery that humans will simply never achieve; he's looking at longer than the longest-lived elf, if he plays his cards right and doesn't get himself murdered. What would it look like to spend a little bit of time every day practicing a skill for 50 years? How about 100 years? How about 500 years? How about 1,000 years? How about 1,500 years? Etc., etc.

(I think he'd be a pretty good dancer. In 500 years, he'd make an unbelievably good dancer.)