#that'll be fun trying to justify

[homunculus-argument]

Honestly as a worldbuilding thing, one thing that's massively liberating is to just let yourself create a crapsack world. Don't try to go out of your way to think of the Bleakest And Shittiest Dystopia You Can Think Of if that's not fun for you, but just allow yourself to create whatever's coming and if some part of it sucks, just nod in agreement and go "yeah, that's shitty for those people/that feature of the world is awful for everyone involved" and carry on. Don't try to force yourself into creating a perfect utopia where nobody suffers, because that'll limit your creativity and make you turn defensive when someone points out that the world you created has flaws. It will have some, no matter what you do.

Let yourself create a nuanced world with both light and darkness in them. You can write an impressive empire that gave birth to massive leaps in technology and infrastructure, but they were also shitty imperialists whose machine was oiled with the blood of slavery. You can write monarchies with fun court intrigue and nobility who commission artists and poets to create breathtaking beauty while aknowledging that their funds to do so were wrung from the labour of serfs. All social systems are shitty in their own, unique ways, and aknowledging that there's both injustice and suffering and beauty and sparks of joy in any society doesn't make you an apologist or a hypocrite, it just makes your world more real.

You're not obligated to only create something perfect, flawless and entirely justified. As a matter of fact you literally cannot do that. Just let the worlds you create have some parts of them that reek like shit.

[starlightshore]

i think enough time has happened that i can talk freely about Undertale Event...2! if you haven't watched it, uhm. Please do!

Undertale Event

2!

I voiced Dr. Alphys and I did all the artwork.

The only two real fangames were:

Sans the Game

and

Giga Sans

Everything else was made by a couple of friends (and a guest submission, GTA Sans) and me.

Here's my 4 trailers if you just want to see them isolated.

for an explanation to what the hell this even is under the cut:

This is a parody of UnderEvent, a yearly Nintendo-Direct like showcase of Undertale Projects. I know people/have particpated in this since the first year.

While I try my best to keep to myself in the fandom, I do talke with people and dive a little bit into what's going on. I know the words "dust-trust" and "last breath" but i could not tell you what specifc AU they are each. I'm not good at video games so I only really play the big ones (UTY, TS, and most recently Delta-traveler). So like, I'd say i'm halfway there to knowing the basics of whatever the hell is going on in this fandom lmao!

I love how weird and silly this fandom is. I've got my own gripes about different aspects (cough, Sans Therapy: sans has mental illness the fangame was made in part with my extreme frustration with how the fandom handles the topic of mental illness. Like, seriously, cut that crap out...)

but anywayz off my rant for the day, there's a lot of this fandom I can admire from an, admittedly, confused distance.

I'll actually refrain from talking too in-depth about my thought process on the trailers as we plan on doing a commentary edition for the video. That'll be fun!

As for if we'll have a sequel...?

We have no idea yet if we are. I'd only want to make one if we can justify its existence. If you're in the fan-project community and want to be involved, please reach out to me! I can't guarantee we'll let you in as, as I said, I don't even know if we're making a sequel yet. But I love the idea of making a bigger, badder, and more ambitious sequel!

Alas for now I must go...... I'm writing this the night before and i'm sleepy lmao. Hope you enjoyed the video!

[raccoonfallsharder]

here are a few sneak previews of what we’ve got going on (this is really more to organize my thoughts and force myself to come up with titles than anything else)

upcoming rocket raccoon fics behind the cut

1. Window Across the Galaxy

aka long&angsty. hoping to start posting on Sunday or Monday.

Slooowww burn + eventual smut. elements of hurt/comfort because rocket is the saddest-angriest boy. Slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points).

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

She looks at the rusted bars, and back to her brute of a tour guide, and sighs heavily. Slowly, she turns back to the cage, swaying toward the bars so she can peer in at eye-level. She’s immediately face-to-face with the creature. His ears are still pressed flat against his head, fur bristling, and he’s gazing back, clearly suspicious and probably - justifiably - feeling more than a little bit mean. She’s suddenly certain that if she got close enough, he’d take out her eyes. There’s no helping herself, is there? One corner of her mouth twists up in exhausted resignation and she nods. “Welp,” she says solemnly to the raccoon, “fuck me, my dude.”

2. Blackmail Material

(codename: pwp???). will probably post part 1 in a week or two.

just pure fucking smut. this was gonna be two parts but I'm leaning toward three now (smut // fuff // smut). probably takes place sometime after endgame but before volume 3? not that it really matters tbh because there is NO FUCKIN PLOT HERE. ur girl's got a praise kink so that'll definitely be featured per usual.

basically: rocket finds your vibrator.

“I’ll tell you what,” he offers up, still grinning that shit-eating grin. “I won’t say a word and I’ll give it back to you. You can even keep whatever batteries are in it.” That sounds too good to be true. You raise a brow and cross your arms in front of your breasts. “If?" “If you let me watch you use it,” he challenges, eyes daring you. “For science.”

3. Domestic Scenes in Space Travel

(codename: ok sweatshirt girl.) i dunno -maybe post the first one by mid-august?

Comics-inspired but not exclusive - just a buncha feel-good fuffy one-shots and equally feel-good smutty one-shots. Series of slice-of-life readerxrocket one-shots following The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl.

“Just try not to push any buttons or pull any levers till you know what they do.” You snort. “I fully intend to keep my hands completely to myself unless I have your explicit permission to touch.” Rocket leers. “That could be fun.” Your eyes narrow. “Space Pilot, I’m gonna need you to focus on the task at hand so I don’t end up accidentally jettisoning us.”

4. Other Duties As Assigned

(codename: schemers, dreamers, & multicalendar memers) i don't have an intended outcome for this fic yet so while i am VERY much enjoying it, i first need to grapple with whether or not i'm okay posting something that may be unfinished. i usually try to avoid that.

I have no idea whether this will get smutty or not (probably, knowing me?). Begins five months after The Snap.

Natasha Romanoff is an administrative nightmare - a fact that does not go unnoticed by the (interim) captain of the Milano. First she demands that the remaining two Guardians of the Galaxy be reachable via a primitive Terran messaging system, and then she can't be bothered to read the frickin' emails.

Thank fuck she's hired a new assistant.

**THIS MESSAGE IS ENCRYPTED** To: <nromanoff@aee.org> From: &lt;rocket@aee.org> Subj: re: WHAT THE FUCK RED Date: Monday, September 24, 2018 7:34am well that’s probably the nicest message I’ve gotten since I hacked the internet I’m gonna have to kill your boss though

(a super-secret spoiler sidenote - i have a formula and I shamelessly overuse it, so there are no surprises here: girl falls first, raccoons falls harder. every fuckin time friends.)

[muchymozzarella]

Fandom, Friendship, and Paranoia

Ever since I started engaging with and posting Miguel/Miles content, I gained 140 followers on Twitter, 600+ comments on my fics, and I've seen large artists with almost or above 10k followers post Flowerfang, one of whom specifically started shipping them BECAUSE of my fic.

Most of the friends I've made in the fandom are nonwhite like me, and we enjoy sharing our multicultural backgrounds, helping each other with translations and discussions on the culture behind Miguel and Miles' characters (many Mig/mi shippers are black, there was even a meme posted about it a month back)

Moreover I didn't lose any followers that I could see, and certainly no mutuals. Most of my moots are chill, and the reaction has ranged from interest in the ship to ambivalence to "not my ship but we're still buds". Most of my mutuals also post completely vanilla things, and even if some of my ships aren't for them, we treat each other well, respect each other, like each other.

I have certainly read a few of my friends excerpts of my fic and shown them some of my favourite art. I've made so many friends, so many mutuals from this ship. It's been joyful and fun and even with weird drama every now and then, generally positive.

The reason I say this is because if you truly believe that fandom should be about guilt, hatred, judgment and self-righteousness, then all you're doing is giving yourself problems. You become paranoid, untrusting and untrustworthy. Maybe you'll notice some friends leaving you because they KNOW you'll hurt them if they're honest and vulnerable, others who are ready to throw you under the bus the moment you express an opinion they don't like.

Y'all gotta get away from those kinds of people. Y'all gotta stop BEING those kinds of people. Because those who'll hate you, a human being, a real person, over a fake cartoon character, is someone who's primed to hate and will use whatever little justification they can against you. I've been in various online fandoms for 11 years now, I've seen it happen over and over and over again. There are people who've been around longer who've seen more.

You don't have to like the thing I like. I prefer older / adult Miles x Miguel, but honestly I never bother saying that because antis get mad when you age up a fictional character regardless. People who want to hate me will hate me no matter what. And I'm fine with that, because I've gotten very good at muting and blocking.

You will find a thing you like that others will find distasteful, unacceptable, even disgusting, and you'll spend your time trying to justify it in your head even as your so-called friends destroy you for breaking their rules.

That's not healthy.

A lot of us have trauma, one way or another, and fiction is a tool that allows us to work through it or find joy or even just distract us from the horrendous shit many of us have to deal with day to day. Trying to control other people's healing will open you up to having your own life torn apart.

All because you cared more about fake people than how you treat real ones.

I don't advise engaging in fandom as a judgmental, angry, self-righteous person, because that'll make you a hateful, paranoid, self-destructive person. And that's not something I wish on anyone over fandom.

[itookyoudown]

🍓🍄🧃

From the truth or dare meme!

Plus 🥑 (is it me)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

chronic justified brainrot. i've lurked in fandoms in the past admiring photos from afar and reading smut, but never got involved in the community aspect before justified. @rudeflower and i started sprinting in the justified server and i started dorking around with a boyd & tim scrabble fic (a dusty WIP i haven't touched in years) just trying to see if i was capable of writing fanfiction as i'd never written it before. then i was consumed by a vampire AU idea and was encouraged during sprints with @praycambrian @boydcrowdr @acorrespondence to start writing and finish it. never would have completed it without their support and all the fun we had sharing snippets in sprint chat :)

then i did a few givenson prompt fics and it all snowballed from there after i clicked with @sublightsleeper and we started discussing headcanons + characterization. never would have continued writing fanfic without kerri 🖤

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Raylan is actually the better cook between him and Tim. He's the one that'll make a proper Sunday morning breakfast and will do big holiday meals if it involves grilling (also he can bake homemade biscuits ty Francis rip). Tim can make a killer omelette and manage a decent jambalaya but that's about it - Tim thinks putting fast food on a plate counts as "making" dinner. But they're definitely a couple that spend an inordinate amount eating out and heating up ready meals.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

my eyebrows are my most attractive feature as proven by the amount of random ass times both men and women have complimented me about it. this is nice because i do absolutely nothing to them i just wake up like this every day. my natural perfect arch brings them all to the yard etc etc.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

lol YOU WILLOW ofc. also @sublightsleeper too.

(writers truth & dare ask game)

[bythepen98]

I swear there's always that ONE fic that really draws you in to a ship you've never considered before. Like you're aware that the ship exists no matter how unrealistic it is in canon bc that's the fun about shipping but that's different from actually reading one with them as the main characters in an almost romeo and juliet-esque canon divergent setting.

In this case, I'm talking about ShigaDeku, a pairing so unlikely to me considering I hated Shigaraki when I watched the anime (though I sorta reluctantly found him cuter appearance wise when he got rid of the hand-to-the-face get up, the longer hair and ofc the blasted beauty mark. Also if you ignore the creepily detailed expressions he makes -yknow the one in the mall scene). I'm more lenient with him and other antagonist characters in fics depending on the story and how its written tho. And anyway considering my track record in reading mc x their main nemesis plots in the past I figured I could give ShigaDeku a try.

The fic is called Lovers of Lost Dimensions by miss_nighteye (terryh). ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT and it honestly distracted from work for a short while w/c was also highly inconvenient. Wasn't expecting much in the beginning and after finishing it, I wouldn't say its a masterpiece either but it was a good enough story that introduced me to the potential of ShigaDeku IF WRITTEN RIGHT and when the premise is not too dark for my taste as is the case with other -literal-enemies to lovers fics that are chock full of angst.

I am not fond of extreme angst and when authors make the dynamic of the ship too unhealthy for me to even justify it (them extremely dubious tags make me shudder) but Lovers of Lost Dimensions had just enough balance of angst and fluff(?) to draw me in. Now I can't help imagining ShigaDeku in my head and was almost tempted to draw it out before stopping myself.

I don't have a main otp in mha since I stick to gen and even the ones with romance only have Shouto, Bakugo, Shinsou or rarely Ochaco paired with Izuku. The popular ones with like over 10k kudos. So Shigadeku is a novelty to me with an interesting dynamic bc of their different beliefs, their quirks acting like a twisted version of the red string of fate and how they're both too op for their own good (so obviously they're meant to be bc only one can balance the other type beat😷) so it's a pairing that'll be stuck in my head for awhile until something else catches my interest.

[calobrien]

From Nostalgia to You

I remember you and I

I remember the summers, the winters, the springs and the autumns too.

I remember the peace and the excitement as it was yesterday. With you I always felt so high.

I remember the drive to your folks place.

I remember the lonely feeling of the seemingly unending drive home.

I remember the impending feeling of dread wash over me when it began to get late.

I remember all the times I was this close to asking you on a date.

I remember thinking I’d built up the courage, only for my words to betray me and my throat to grow dry.

I remember the fear I felt each time, I was afraid of ruining the moment, how silly was I?

I remember the look you’d give me when your mum told me an embarrassing story about you when you were younger.

I remember how you’d try to justify what you did back then or insist that she had it wrong. She’d always declare she knew best because she was your mother.

I remember how desperately your sisters wanted to make me laugh and how much fun they had telling me your worst habit.

I remember you all play fighting in the living room.

I remember finding it hilarious when they banded together against the monster you would try to inhabit.

You couldn’t quite do it justice, could you?

I remember the sweaty palms I felt when your father asked for a moment to speak privately.

I remember feeling as though there was thin ice beneath my feet.

I remember the overwhelming feeling of anxiety.

I remember what he said, it was the reverse of what I imagined.

I remember being speechless at the sound of his words.

I remember how he wanted the best for you and how in that moment we both seemed to hope that was me.

That gave me what I needed to finally ask you on that date, or so I hoped. Every time I tried my thoughts were met with a fear of ruining the moment. How silly was I?

I remember sitting on your bed running my fingers through your hair as you rested your head on my lap, tears running down your perfect face.

I remember feeling a fraction of the pain you constantly tried to hide whenever you felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me.

I remember how much you hated being at your folks place.

I remember it all you see. Every time we walked the dog, every time we laughed at your sister’s crazy dance moves or her awful jokes.

I remember your mothers cooking; you and I washing up after and how you’d always flick the water at me.

I remember how close we’d get as I tried to stop you.

I remember how still everything would seem in the moment. Then came the embarressment painted on both our faces when your mum walked into the kitchen.

Being with you, I never knew I could feel so free.

I remember it all you see? That'll have to be good enough for me.

By: Cal O’Brien

[shiyorin]

I am a heretic I am very heretic please Yandere Alphabet Ferrus Manus

Yes, you are heretic. Chaos is proud of you.

Tw: Yandere

Yandere Alphabet Ferrus Manus

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Ferrus hates the idea of being affectionate with someone, because it would make him too vulnerable. He'd be very reluctant about the idea at first, and maybe even hostile towards it... but over time, he'd learn to tolerate it, because he really does care for you. He'd try to hint at his affection for you by doing subtle things, instead of outright showing it. He'd do things that make you happy behind the scenes, without you really knowing it. But when his obsession begins to set in, things would start to get really intense and he's terrified about that fact.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He absolutely wouldn't be willing to get messy. He'd probably try to keep things mostly calm and controlled. He has a line that he won't cross, for any reason. But you wouldn't want to know how much he tried keeping back.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Harsh but not cruel. He'd take his time at first, trying to wear you down with persistence rather than outright brutality. After all, he is very utilitarian. He would rather just get his goal, rather than waste what he thinks is meaningless time by making you feel suffering unnecessarily. Yes, he knows sometimes being cruel makes the process faster but he wants an effective plan, not a fun one that'll prolong your suffering; Would he mock you? If it is necessary for his goal, yes.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

If he felt like it was necessary, he would, yes. He'd restrict your freedom, try to restrain you, or possibly even use some kind of sedative, and if he needs to go further than restraint, then he would. He's not doing this for his own gratification, he sees this as a completely pragmatic process. He's trying to accomplish something, and if violating you will make this more efficient, then he would have little regard for your well-being and comfort.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He'd bare it very reluctantly. He wouldn't show it right away, probably not until he has you in a vulnerable position. Ferrus'd try to remain aloof and detached until he has you completely reliant upon him, only opening up about his feelings once it's too late for you to back out.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Very annoyed. He'd be upset that you weren't being cooperative and were making things more difficult than you needed to be. It could also make him more ruthless in his pursuit, because once again the idea of inefficiency seems to get him angry.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It wouldn't be a game to him, this is more like a job that he's trying to get done in the most efficient way possible. He wouldn't enjoy you trying to escape. He probably finds it more annoying. If he could, he would just knock you out and prevent you from trying to escape or resist your situation.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When he crosses his line and uses excessive force, far beyond what would be considered necessary for the situation. If he thinks his process might be better through the use of a very violent method, then he would use it. He's not cruel and wouldn't enjoy inflicting the violence, but he wouldn't hesitate to do so, and he'd try to rationalize why his brutality was justified to you.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

A world where everything's going swimmingly for the Imperium, and they just have a simple, tender love. But the actual future is much more bleak.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Ferrus definitely gets jealous, he hates it when he doesn't have control of his emotions and tries to find a way to cope with his jealousy first, but he has a very low tolerance for these kinds of things. So if things go too far, he’d lash out.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He'd definitely be very reserved and stoic around you. A lot of the time he'd have this look on his face which could be accurately described as "done with this."  Most people wouldn't ever be able to tell that he truly does like you through interacting with him, and that's because of how he prefers to keep his emotions very close to the chest. But on certain occasions, he might let those boundaries slip. Maybe on rare instances, he'd allow himself to be a little tender - in certain moments, he might allow himself to soften up.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Ferrus'd probably spend an amount of time coming up with a solid plan to do so. Not a romantic plan, because he'd be very averse to anything that could be considered too emotional, but a really efficient plan. There'd probably be steps that were way too specific, and a whole lot of backup contingency plans just in case. At the end of the day it'd probably end up being pretty successful because of it. Well… Hope so.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

When it comes to anyone else, he's pretty much closed-off, stoic, not particularly expressive. However, around you, he is much softer (well, by his definition of that is). He shows a more raw and authentic version of himself, instead of the one that he puts up for show and for intimidation.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He wouldn't particularly enjoy punishing you, but rather, he does so out of a sense of necessity. To him, it's necessary to punish to maintain that control over the relationship. His punishments would depend on how much you resisted him. But most of the time he just locks you up.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Pretty much. He only lets you keep the things you need to stay alive. He'd put your lives in a very structured environment, where everything is going exactly as he wants it to. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not very patient at all. He has a very limited tolerance for things that he considers unproductive or pointless. Especially when it comes to your lack of cooperation. He doesn't like his time being wasted. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

I feel like he couldn't move on. Not only emotional attachment to you, since the situation is purely practical for him, but also because he's wasted so much time on this; If you successfully escape, he'd be very angry. His biggest hate is being inefficient and losing, and you escaping would be a combination of that. As a prideful person, he'd refuse to accept it, and he'd be determined to hunt you down and re-capture you. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, not guilty about abducting. He would absolutely be frustrated with himself, however, because the fact is that, if he'd been more efficient, then this wouldn't have happened in the first place. So that frustration would overpower any feelings of guilt. And he won't ever let you go, he's gone so far already that it wouldn't make sense to give up now.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His emotional restraint. He's spent so much time suppressing any desire for affection that he's become very numb to it. Not in a way that he doesn't understand love, but just that he doesn't experience it in the same way as others. And your presence has turned his worldview upside down. He's never shown any real interest in love, so he was unprepared for how much your presence affected him. For the first time, he's had to feel something new. And he hates the way that it feels.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He'd find it incredibly annoying! It's making his work significantly more difficult, after all. He doesn't understand why you can't just take it. And he wouldn't ever admit that it hurts him to see you that way.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Ferrus is more pragmatic in his methods than your average yandere. He doesn't enjoy the pain he's inflicting, he just sees it as something that, at this point, is necessary. So that means that all of his methods are purely driven by what he thinks will be the most efficient. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

While his pragmatic makes him very effective, it also makes him very much closed off to emotional responses. He wouldn't allow himself to be emotionally affected by anything unless it aligned with his goals, so his emotional responses would be very shallow. If you can get him off balance between reason and emotion, you'll probably have some time to run away. The problem, of course, is actually getting his emotions out in time to cause this conflict in the first place, because he suppresses them so effectively.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

If it's necessary, yes. It would hurt him too, of course, but he'd view it as necessary to maintain his control.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He'd absolutely revere his love interest, but he would never admit to that. His reason and pride doesn't allow him to. So, he would always be framing the relationship in a very transactional way.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Even though he's not patient, he's incredibly persistent, and he's not prone to rash thoughtless decisions. And surprisingly, it's hard for him to snap. I think there would have to be a pretty substantial buildup. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If his emotional limit is reached, his rage would cause him to completely lose all logic and reason. He'd be horrified at what he'd done afterwards, but at the moment he'd be far too blinded by his emotion to realize what a poor decision he'd made.

[blackkatmagic]

I really don't understand the people who harp on about the attachment thing. Like, the jedi aren't saying you should have zero attachment to anything or you'll fall to the dark side. They're saying maybe Anakin should tone back the attachment, establish some lines he's not willing to trample over if he believes someone he cares about is in danger. Like, the most consistent character trait Anakin has is his willingness to do literally anything for the people he cares about. It's his tragic flaw. Sure, it's heroic when he's throwing himself into danger, significantly less so when he's manipulated into thinking genocide is the answer. (Also, just want to say that I love the irony that the tragic flaw that palps exploited to come into power was also what led to his death. Like yes, torture the son of the man you conditioned to go to any lengths for his loved ones right in front of him, I'm sure that'll work out great for you.)

I think, for people looking to justify Anakin's choices, the attachment rule is an easy thing for people to point to and say "look, he wasn't allowed to feel emotion clearly the people who put this rule in place are wrong". But given everything in canon, I definitely feel like there's a big element of confirmation bias involved. Because yeah, Anakin's flaws are clear even in TPM, and they just get bigger over time, because Palpatine and because of his own unwillingness to see them as flaws. It's one of those things that makes him a tragic hero, and people trying to sand over that and blame it on one rule that they wildly misinterpret is just...aggravating.

But yes it's also very fun that Palpatine's fatal flaw, his hubris, collides directly with Anakin's carefully honed flaw and causes Palpatine's downfall. The irony is sweet.

[fangaminghell]

Sick and suffering but trying to put my own person spin on some of the teams in Insurgence only bc 1) I like team building and 2) this game was designed to be difficult, so lots of generally popularly strong pokemon were picked. Not entirely a bad thing, but I do want some variety.

Now, given how the story goes, the full teams I'm giving them ( at least for Orion and kinda Xavier) isn't what Yancy sees first. But still, it's for fun lol.

I mention this bc I'm torn with East right now. His og team is fine ( I REALLY like that his mega altaria has return I think that's pretty cool story telling even if he doesn't get much attention), but I want to make it more ...personal? Yeah

So far I kept Skarmory, Kingdra, Altaria, Kingdra and Noivern. I feel like Skarmory and Kingdra matches the vibe of East. Noivern is slightly harder to justify but I do think it matches in a way. And Altaria is just cute. The hard part is trying to replace talonflame and Gliscor. And I love Gliscor but I didn't exactly think it fit east. Maybe that'll change, but I swapped Talonflame for Staraptor , probably bc I was thinking of a canon pokemon butler that has one. As for Gliscor I'm actually not sure.

I was thinking Delta Arcanine but I felt it skewed too much to the dragon typing. The pros of the pokemon is that it kinda represents East's relationship with Jaern. Being his guard dog, someone who he shows the most loyalty too.

As for the other option I was thinking Delta Noctowl? Again it's more of a vibe thing that anything. I'm not 100% sure here lol.

[tieria-erde]

tagged by nika @pianofish ty!!! :3

last song i listened to:

im being honest it was summer buzz by nika...! go listenn please their music is always so beautiful. i wanna do a cover of this song sometime soon... (probably not acapella this time bc i like the percussion too much) i have vague ideas for an mv that i am not sure i have the skill to execute but i wanna try anyway. i need to lay down some thumbnails but i see it in my brain it's similar in style to iyowa's imawanokiwa mv

alsoo this wasnt the question but im recommending this vocaduo song because its really pretty and i like it a lot

currently watching:

i watched spirited away for the first time this past week it was soo lovely...! a while back i went on a mall date with a friend and i bought a cute spirited away button down just because it was purple and i said to myself "well i haven't watched spirited away but if i watch it and like it that'll justify the purchase right?" and then forgot to watch it... but now i have, and i liked it, so i can wear that shirt without a heavy conscience 👍

currently reading:

not really "current" but i recently read the storytelling animal by jonathan gottschall for one of my classes next semester and i liked it! some parts i found irritating but it was still a fun read to pick apart. ive also been meaning to get back to reading the insomniacs after school manga... the anime was so so so wonderful but the only scanlation i've found for the manga doesn't look all that high quality ;w; i still wanna read it though

oh also JUST last week finished rereading heir's game by suspu, beautiful beautiful comic. andd last month i reread when the day comes by omyo which is my favorite webtoon of alllll time ever. sorry for being a webtoon guy i promise i do it with a distinct theme-understanding air 💜

current obsession:

i have been working for like a month on english translyrics for eimin no susume by narumiya. this isnt my first attempt at writing translyrics (i have tried so many times to write translyrics for itte by yorushika but i think that song's just impossible to translate well in general) but it is the first time ive gotten anywhere close to finishing them... im not as mindblowingly depressed as i was a few weeks ago so im not actually sure i'll still want to cover the song by the time i finish these lyrics but i wanna see it through to the end! and its a fun song to sing anyhow (speaking of covers ive been sitting on this 90% complete cover for a while that i just need to finish recording harmonies on..... maybe i'll go do that after i post this)

also my mom made egg tarts yesterday and they are so awesome and tasty. obsessed with those for sure as well

this isn't really an obsession but i also want to mention i started gnosia a week or so ago at the recommendation of a friend, i kind of got off on a rocky start with it because it wasn't what i was expecting (i am a diehard fan of hidden role games but the singleplayer gameplay just does not scratch that same itch for me) but once i got past that i really started liking it...! i haven't played in a few days but i wanna get back to it

tag 9 people:

umm i dont know that many people ^_^ do it if u wanna do it! no pressure @larnax @vivi-mire @neildylandy @thebeggarlover @ptolemaiios @sunnymatsu

[oxeye-daisyy]

Ty for answering about the Orpheus bit!!! You have raised more questions tho lmao.

You’ve mentioned Jimmy - how does he get on Hermitcraft? Is he invited so there’s another person other than Grian and Pearl who Martyn knows, and then gets possessed afterwards? Is he possessed and then used to allow the Watchers into Martyn’s vicinity to kill him? How aware is Jimmy when he kills Martyn? Does he throw off the possession or do the Watchers leave him after that?

And now that you’ve added Jimmy, I’m curious about some others. I know you’re not gonna worry about most of evo smp, only the people who are still “around” now (and disclaimer I’ve only seen up to episode 8 of Grian’s pov of evo so I fully admit to not having much knowledge so I may have forgotten if others were there but), so what about BigB? I’m pretty sure he was in evo, and since Grian invites him to the Traffic Life series I’d consider him “around” in the same way Martyn and Jimmy are (in terms of vicinity to Hermitcraft - I’m aware Traffic Life doesn’t occur in anachronism but I more meant in terms of people we’ve seen with our people). Is BigB involved at all? Does he join Grian and Pearl and Jimmy on their quest?

Thanks so much for creating this AU, it’s super fun!!

"your answer raised more questions" yeah, that's anachronism for ya!! I figure I could do this in one big essay OR I could sorta try to like, bullet point this and address all of these sorta quickly?

- so in anachronism Jimmy never becomes a hermit proper, unfortunately. he's a major character! he just never actually stays on hermitcraft. this is mostly because Martyn only stays because, if there's anything in his player data that'll explain what happened and either give Xisuma an idea of what could be wrong with the world or assure him that nothing's wrong externally, well, Xisuma will need to keep him around to check. there's no such case for Jimmy, so there'd be no real extenuating circumstance that would justify inviting him to stay when allowing him to frequently visit is another more likely option

- Jimmy is low-key possessed since Martyn is found. there's a little plot detail I'm fond of with a talisman imbued with Listener magic which Jimmy has had for the past few years, which protected him more or less. which Jimmy desperately gives to Martyn as soon as they reunite. which means Jimmy willingly gives up the only thing protecting him from whatever the Watchers may want to do with him.

- Jimmy is not aware at all when he kills Martyn (: this is not necessarily a good thing (:

- so! BigB. the thing about BigB is that he IS "around" in that he participated in the life series, but doesn't really do a lot of other SMPs. it's sort of difficult to work him into the present when his main recent Minecraft content is not canon to the AU. I imagine he's alive and well on another world and is much more well adjusted than literally any of the evolutionists that got slapped with the Narrative Stick

- on the topic of other evolutionists, though: for the purposes of anachronism, anytime Martyn would be in an MCC team, his spot on a team is taken over by Netty because she's in the perfect spot on the Venn diagram of "evolutionist", "person who was on a canon MCC", and "person who has not been in enough canon MCCs for me to have to double check whether or not she was actually a member in the real event". it's just that she's much more of a subplot character than the others.

you're absolutely welcome :D

[hellshovnd]

#hellshovnd "I have no conscience at all -- least of all an artistic conscience. All I have is nerves."

a private and highly selective writing blog for an entirely headcanon based   ryuunosuke akutagawa from bungo stray dogs. established in twenty twenty - four. as avenged by Z. gmt . very sporadic activity,  18+  minors dni.  trigger warnings: death, violence & heavy gore.

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overview

this blog will be following the manga & BEAST au. that means that there might be some spoilers in my interpretation but it won't be anything too jarring that'll completely ruin the plot for you

I'm Z, 29, she/her. Been rping for over 13 years (my god...) but only really started to dabble in anime/game rp more recently.

I'm Oc friendly, for the moment I'll stick only to the BSD/BEAST verses so I ask that if you follow, that you at least have one of those

personal Blogs /minors DNI or follow- will be blocked on sight

rules

general

this is a rp blog which I'm doing as a hobby. my activity will be sporadic as I have a job and can't always be online. still I won't mind if i get reminders that i owe a reply, as long as they are reminders and not demands. other than that, I am very chill with time, so take your time to enjoy writing and I'll take my time as well. i'll only interact with mutuals on this blog so if you wish to interact give me a follow, and if i follow back feel free to hit me up or I'll message you. if I don't follow back within two weeks you can assume I am not interested as I will probably soft block you so you don't keep the follow. this might be for several reasons but it's most likely that I don't feel I have a muse for you at the moment. Do not try to refollow! That will just result in hard block

standard DNI. Do not follow me if you're a minor or a personal blog, you will be blocked. also this is a drama free blog, I am new to the community, I don't have any bad blood with anyone and don't intend to have it either. please be respectful just as I will be respectful to you. don't involve me in drama, I'm too old to care. if you have a problem we can talk it out.

shipping here will be very selective as i don't exactly intend to explore romance with akutagawa. that's not to say that i'm not open to the idea but it'll be very dependent on chemistry and overall interactions.

I am duplicate friendly as long as we both respect each other. this means no coping each others interpretation of the character, nor graphics (they are not mine to begin with, please do not try to steal them). other than that i am chill and you can reach me to discuss ideas on his character and lore.

i won't be using icons or text formatting. also i am a lengthy replier but you do not have to match my length, we're here to have fun so lets do that!

pertaining akutagawa

as much as he's the antagonist he's also an obsessive villain. he is morally reprehensible and has very askew views on life. i will not water him down nor justify his actions. akutagawa is someone that is trying to learn to love life instead of hating it, ultimately his story is that of tragedy, not redemption.

your character is welcome to hate him, question him and challenge his beliefs however please keep it to IC. Any OOC bashing on his character won't be tolerated. I'm all up for character discussion but there's a line between discussing and actively bashing

[shortfeather]

Comm anon here. The fic I'm writing is more basic outline and ideas that I'm too afraid to write because I feel if I do the characterization slightly wrong I will get truck by the permadeath lightning.

Speaking of characterization how do you do it so well? Like with my own characters I'm fine but with things that are not my own I suck. Like the closest thing to a good character analysis is the time in English class where I ended up psychoanalylizing the protaganist on how his daddy issues and orphanhood affected his current attitude. And I refuse to write fanfic of British dudes in the 1600's who are checking out the Americas.

This is a cry for help.

...ok so fun thing about characters: you can justify them doing pretty much anything, any time.

and you don't have to do it with character choices! if you really need a character to do something that they would never do unless it's in the most specific, desperate circumstance - you can make that circumstance a reality. Worldbuilding and outside influence are your friends here.

For example: Tango wasn't supposed to be able to explode. But he's very good about denying when something is wrong, specifically when it involves him taking a break from his builds, and I needed him to realize that something was wrong with him in "check my head." so I decided, well, if parts of his code that shouldn't come through are coming through, that'll get his attention. And then I had to figure out what would reasonably get his attention, as well as get resident "don't worry about it" twins Pearl and Grian concerned for Tango's own health.

So now he can explode.

The thing is, though, that trick works best when it's used sparingly. If you're consistently getting your characters into insanely specific situations to force the reaction you need to be in character, well, that will unfortunately turn stale after a while. Which is where the other part comes in: thinking about how they would react, basically all the time forever.

Literally, so much of my non-writing time is just passively thinking "how would X react to this situation? What if Y was there? What if I tried to get to point Z via B instead of A?" And I do it so much that for a few years now, it's been my writing process.

I think of a premise (what if Jimmy ate a gapple in Double Life to try and save Tango) and I think of a couple cool points that could come up (the glitch in Double Life immediately after, how the issue would manifest when they're in different servers, a couple other things that we're gonna get to later), and then I go, okay, so how do I get my characters to react in ways that will let me hit those points?

And for that, you start at the beginning. With the characters I want in this story - Lizzie, Jimmy, Tango, and Grian - how would they react to the inciting incident? How would they react to the fallout? Is that going the way I want it to? In Grian's case, it wasn't - I needed someone who could find the same information Grian had access to but would react completely differently. It's obviously not in character to have Grian react completely differently, so I gave fWhip a POV, and thought about his reactions to the points I already knew I wanted to hit, and tweaked things accordingly.

When you do it this way, you get characters who drive the plot, rather than being yanked along by it. And, with a bit of practice, you get characters who are consistent because your writing process is psychoanalyzing them to map the path forwards you most want to take.

[chiderilas]

No, I was not okay today. I guess there were 2 things looming in my head: work, and that claustrophobic feeling. Annoyingly, not even a good orgasm helps to take my mind off it.

It's exhausting when you have to keep justifying and explaining yourself. I am aware that's how the world is, especially when you're not white in this white man's world. I am allowed to feel a bit beaten up for tonight though?

It always comes down to the thought of questioning life choices, but then again, it's the road that I have chosen for myself and now I have to live with the consequences. It's never easy, nor that it'll get way easier from here.

You know what? Yes I am exhausted, especially when I can't even choose my own schedule and people keep adding theirs to mine. It's funny how even after 30 years, I'm still a bit of a pushover. I guess that's why every now and then, I had this glitch in my thoughts about "maybe it's better to let things burn", rather than keep trying to put out the fire.

As a separate thought, I know social media is biased. It serves you the false reality and sets up your standard but not the way it should be. People go out for a gig, some friends having the best fuck of their lives, yes all those things does happen. However, is that what I need? Is that what I want in life?

Here I am, sitting on my sofa, just finished watching Princess Diaries while making some artisanal butter. Do I gain pleasure from those? Yes I did. Is that any less fun from all that stuff people have been sharing? No, it's what I enjoy doing.

I was in a bad place earlier today. I remember it all too well, when I was having that panic attack in the middle of the night at the end of my PhD. I am glad I am able to identify it before getting to that point and now I am just physically exhausted. I guess it's been a while since I've practiced mindfulness. It's been such a rush, one after another, without any real time to sit down and take a break.

You know what, I am glad that on the upcoming Christmas time, I should be getting a whole week of break. That'll be nice. I've done a whole year doing ringfit now. I'm sure I can do something new and stick with it next year. Plus, I think that in that 1 week, I should be able to find something for it. I know it goes without saying, in the end, when you take a pause and zoom out, your life is probably better than you thought it was when you're feeling low.

[wild-as-a-winter-storm]

The first post-red wedding lannister chapter, and it's amazing!

I swear, maybe it's just this volume (asos pt 2) in particular, but it seems like every other chapter is so dark and full of misery and then you get to the lannister chapters and they're just so juicy and fun and i really enjoy reading them!! (Despite them being the most miserable characters in the books). They are incredible to read interacting together too.

But yes, we get joff just being so incredibly childish as usual.

I basically picture tyrion eating popcorn for this whole scene though.

Ooff tyrion calling joff a monster, something tyrion's been seen as since the day he was born.

Tyrion making ominous remarks that'll come back to bite him later.

Joff trying to take tywin down a peg or two and tywin basically sending him to bed without supper!

Tyrion making sure to needle his dad with the hiding under casterly rock thing ♡

"Tyrion had gotten his own sharp lesson at thirteen." *sobs*

Gawd poor rhaenys :( horrible amory lorch :( it's really interesting to hear tywin speaking about and justifying these crimes