#that’s why he and Stede are perfect for each other

[stargirl-and-potts]

Ed was right, there were several storms coming — Ned Lowe, the British invasion, the end of the age of piracy — and Izzy dismissing him as “a mopey twat” means he never did learn 1) Ed’s gut feelings usually have a reason behind them, something he’s observed, even if he can’t articulate it 2) Ed’s moods have tangible reasons too and bullying him over them just makes him bury them 3) Ed doesn’t need a “hell no” guy. He needs a “yes and” guy who trusts Ed’s instincts and helps him talk his feelings out till he figures out what the problem is and a solid plan for tackling it.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I think it's super important to call out racist tropes in fanon, but I also think it's important to help provide a bit of education so other creators know how to avoid these tropes and what to do instead.

With that in mind, one of the most common things that us fans of color have been pointing out in the OFMD fandom is racist depiction of Ed's hair, so here's an intro to avoiding some of these harmful tropes and what you can do instead.

Why does Ed's hair matter so much?

For people of color like Ed, our hair isn't just hair. Our hair is also about our culture and self-expression, and taking care of our hair is a skill distinct from caring for White hair. Our hair is an expression of personal and communal identity.

Controlling and stigmatizing hairstyles is an important way that people of color have been and continue to be oppressed. Across the history of European colonization, you'll find countless stories of cruelties such as forced haircuts, and this legacy lives on today when kids of color are told they have to change their natural and cultural hairstyles to meet school dress codes. Depiction of hair matters so much because of this history.

What are some things to avoid?

Common racist depictions of Ed's hair that you will want to avoid include:

Depicting Ed's hair as dirty and unclean when he's always shown to have very neat, well-taken-care-of hair in the show

Implying that he does not know how to care for his hair

Implying that he needs a White man to help him take care of his hair (White guys are not going to know how to care for Ed's hair texture!)

Depicting him using items that aren't meant for haircare on his hair (like forks, broken tools, etc.). Ed surely knows what a hairbrush is and how to use one.

Implying that Ed does not have a hair care routine or care much about his personal hygeine. You do not get to have that much beautiful, well-groomed hair without caring about maintaining it.

Implications that Ed is unusually rough/thoughtless about his hair, such as cutting off tangled sections or leaving knots to get worse

Avoid language that implies Ed's hair is unusually unruly and unkempt, such as describing it as "matted." Personally, I even bristle hearing it described as a "mane" or "wild" because it's always very neatly-groomed.

What are some ways to talk about Ed's hair that are okay?

I recommend writers and artists considering a project involving Ed's hair do some research on their own - browsing natural hair care subreddits is a pretty easy way to learn quickly what goes into caring for our hair and some of the common everyday struggles we might have.

You don't need to depict Ed's hair as perfect all the time! On lazy days where he doesn't style his hair, he might have frizz going on, and he might be frustrated by the effort and time it takes to maintain his hair while they're on the ocean and the salt air is constantly wreaking havoc.

It's also okay to write about Stede helping Ed with his hair. Stede will need to learn how to work with Ed's hair, but there's nothing wrong with scenes where Stede helps Ed with putting his hair up into a fancy style or washes it for him just because they both want to spend time together. The issue arises when you have implications that Ed needs that help and isn't capable of caring for his hair on his own.

What are some ideas for scenes involving Ed's hair care and routines?

There are so many wonderful scenes you can write about Ed's hair care routines! They can add dimension to domestic moments and make Ed's life feel more real. Here are some ideas I love.

Stede being excited to find new hair products at the market he knows Ed will love

The men of color on the Revenge having self-care nights to help each other care for their hair and skin

Ed patiently teaching Stede about how to care for his hair and trusting him to help him wash it

Ed having fun after settling down at their inn with experimenting with fun floral scents in his hair products

Ed teaching Stede how to put his hair in an elaborate, fancy style passed down from his mother

Stede carefully writing down Ed's hair care routine, from how he likes to rinse his hair with cool freshwater after a swim in the ocean to how he uses coconut oil to minimize frizz, and Ed being touched by his obvious care

In the show, Ed's hair looks amazing even at his lowest moments, so you could make art of him finding comfort in his hair even in the darkest times

There's so much you can do! I'd love seeing the balance of fics about Ed's hair shift towards mostly loving, thoughtful, non-racist depictions, so let's make that happen!

[our-flag-means-love]

okay i've seen several people express frustration at stede and ed still referring to each other as their "friend" in s2 e6+7, but like... they are friends!!

in s1, neither of them needed a romantic partner. but what they were both severely lacking was a close, caring, supportive friend.

when stede said "hey... i'm your friend," and when ed said "fuck you, jack, he's my friend!" that doesn't mean they didn't have romantic feelings for each other at the same time.

they love each other so much on a deep, romantic level. they have sexual feelings for each other too. but on top of that, they're also best fucking friends!!! that's why they're so perfect together! they became best friends first and everything else followed from there.

they're not friends-to-lovers, they're friends-and-lovers.

[fangirleaconmigo]

I've been thinking about this for such a long time, and here's my treatise on Our Flag Means Death and Gentlebeard just randomly on this Wednesday afternoon.

Maybe it sounds odd but OFMD perfectly illustrates how gender roles are a trap. If you fail at your gender (Stede) you are alienated from society. BUT if you succeed at your gender (Ed) you are alienated from yourself.

Here's why this creates the perfect romantic conflict.

I usually don't care for romances because the conflict feels forced, or it undermines the connection. But Ed/Stede is amazing. And I kept wondering how they captured my imagination so completely.

Well, they have a real connection, and the conflict is fascinating and credible, based on this gender trap.

Their connection is joyful and touching. Ed's delight at everything people mock Stede for, oh my god. My heart. And Stede encouraging Ed's interest in things he's not 'supposed' to have interest in? The fine fabric? Perfection. No notes. Love it.

And then the conflict is really the trauma and effects of this gender trap. They cannot see the damage the performance (or in Stede's case, the lack of ability to perform gender) is causing the other. They idealize the other because they have what the other lacks. Here's what I mean.

Since humans need connection Stede's punishment for performing gender poorly is the ultimate one-loneliness and rejection from his 'own people'. Humans cannot be alone, we are not meant to be an island, and to be rejected by EVERYONE that brings him into the world? *insert zuko's that's rough buddy gif*

But when he meets Ed, Ed only sees Stede's freedom (his incapacity to pretend he is anything but who he is) and admires and covets it.

And since Ed's success in performing his gender is a self perpetuating trap, built brick by brick on a foundation of suffocation of the self, his spirit is dying.

But Stede only sees the admiration and approval of others that he has built up around himself. He yearns for that.

So you have two people, devalued for who they are, one who can only be himself but is mocked for it, and the other who is not himself, and is drowning, but surrounded by people who admire him.

So yes, they truly see and value each other. But because they have never paid the exact kind of price the other is paying, they cannot see it. As a result, they can't see how bad those insecurities are. They can't see why the other might want a little of what they have.

I just found it absolutely incredible seeing them figure it out and find a true connection. I loved watching them build that found family around themselves. Ed had to be strong enough to be who has was with his crew, and learn to value them for who they were as well.

And Stede built a family of people around him who valued what he brings to the table. Many of those were the same people, but they had to learn to value him (after suffering Ed's approach).

I know it's a really silly show and very heightened, so you can't be too literal about everything, but it is a show with a good heart that has two romantic leads that paint an incredible picture of the two sides of the gender/society coin. It was very satisfying for me to watch their journey.

I'm sad it's cancelled but I'll be a Gentlebeard ho for life.

[areyoudoingthis]

the more I think about "it was a fine fish. it was whatever," the more I love it, because the show is hitting us over the head with the fact that stede has lost his way, and it's costing him greatly.

he was laser focused at the beginning of the season, he knew that finding ed and keeping his crew safe and happy were his priorities in life now. he left barbados behind forever for that, got on a little dinghy all alone with a hopeful look on his face because he was sailing towards his freedom, towards ed and love and the sea, abandoning the anchor that dragged him down his whole life by giving everything he inherited from his father to Mary and the kids. he was the boy who liked to pick flowers chasing a whole colorful garden of his own choice.

but now he's back there, crushed under the weight of all the expectations he had placed on him since he was a little kid and the destructive, unachievable idea of a man his father taught him. he hears Low ask ed what happened to him and he thinks he did, he happened to ed and ed gave up piracy and shaved his beard and started folding socks and what has he cost him?? has he ruined ed in ways he doesn't even know yet?? and then he hears "that's why he likes you, it's because of your bumbling amateur status", and every doubt about his self worth he's ever had comes crashing down on him with a suffocating weight and he has to prove him wrong, he has to prove that he can do this, can kill a man, can protect ed and avenge the torture and the racist insults he received.

and everything unravels from there. picking flowers is bad, it does make him weak, killing and maiming and setting people on fire and getting drunk are what will make him a man who has value to others. I think even the sex is part of this, as much as he has wanted it for a while and as much as it would have happened at some point anyway because they love each other and they were going to get there when ed was ready.

but stede still has something to prove to the voices in his head who call him soft and weak and useless, so he loses sight of what truly matters, of what he's been running towards since the end of s1. "it was whatever" is the opposite reaction to his wide eyed joy at seeing the fish the first time, and it fits so well because stede is in the opposite headspace at the moment, and instead of bringing ed into his arms it pushes him away.

this is a lesson he's going to have to learn very soon, to stay alive and to keep ed in his life and to heal and find happiness with him. but it's okay that he messed up, because he's allowed to, growth doesn't happen in a linear way, you're not done becoming the person you're meant to be in a day or a week or a month. you will hurt yourself and the people you love and you will find grace and forgiveness because you're still worthy of them in spite of your flaws and shortcomings.

that line was perfect

[amuseoffyre]

There's something poetic about the way Stede and Ed's journeys in S1 and S2 are cycling around each other. They're circling in towards a point where they will meet as themselves, but right now, they've both come in with so many preconceptions and illusions of who and what they are within their own worlds and each others.

Ed aspires to a better life and believes that Stede has that with his all his quirky, fun, weird little things ("you got it all figured out"). He willfully chooses to ignore why a rich man might actually find some kind of comfort and safety in the world of piracy, convinced by the end of S1 that it was all about Bonnet's playthings and that "we were just playing pirates".

He doesn't hear Stede when Stede says he "very much does know" what it feels like to be treading water, waiting to drown, because to him, Stede is something he wants to be. He doesn't see the flaws and the cracks and the trauma underlying it all.

Likewise, Stede does get to meet Ed as Ed first and foremost, but when he finds out he's Blackbeard, there is a kind of fanboy joy about just how cool and fascinating and brilliant his idol is.

Even though Ed tells him how he's struggling, the fact that Ed keeps on mentioning that it's boring is the thing that Stede latches onto. He does the treasure hunt to keep Ed from getting bored, he shows him things to spark his interest and entertain him.

They both get a storyline where they get to cross the streams and experience each other's world: Ed gets to be Jeff the Accountant in a fancy party ship and Stede becomes the Legendary Gentleman Pirate in the Republic. In both situations, it seems perfect and fun and fantastic, but the shine comes off and the issues are still there, simmering beneath, and never get addressed.

And the thing is that is makes perfect sense for both of them to squash down all the stuff that's actually bothering them. For Ed, being vulnerable is a danger, it's showing your belly to someone who may be an enemy, it's baring your throat and in a world where trust is a rare commodity, he absolutely does not trust anyone.

He says himself he only ever told one person about killing his dad and even then, it only came on the back of being triggered into a horrendous panic attack and Stede coming after him to comfort him (and hoooee, that speaks a lot for Ed going after Stede in 2x06). He's suppressed it and contained it and lets it sit there and fester, layers of scar tissue and self-loathing forming over it.

It's also why he sits with his issues on his own, talks to the people who have been around him the longest and makes his decision on his own. He is used to operating as a single entity without having to take into consideration how his actions and decisions impact on other people. He's only just learned how to take accountability for his actions like 2 days ago.

Stede, on the other hand, has told no one anything about what's going on inside his head. When we have the flashbacks with his father, we can see why: every time he expressed an opinion about his thoughts and wishes and ideas, he was shot down. By the time he was married off, he has learned to couch his negative reactions in passive statements instead of saying exactly what he's feeling.

And even when his past is brought up, like when Nigel brings up the story of the rowboat, he tries to brush it off and pretend he doesn't know what they're talking about. He prefers to bottle up the guilt, shame and inadequacy he feels and keep them locked away because he's spent a lifetime being ridiculed for his feelings and emotions and expressing them with the risk of being shot down in flames terrifies him.

He did express himself directly once in S1: his rant about drinking and being pelted by coconuts and not liking Ed when he's like this and the same day, Ed chose to leave him, so he doubles down.

We see him trying to maintain the facade that he's doing well, even in the letters he writes to Ed. Everything is about how they're getting on and that he hopes to see him, but when it all falls apart, the negative emotions are only addressed to the Wanted poster.

It's very telling that he only confides in a handful of people about how he's feeling across both seasons and they are Mary, Zheng and Anne. Mary, it comes on the back of a murder attempt. Zheng, it comes after he's told the crew got rid of Ed. And Anne it's when he and Ed are still butting emotional heads and it takes that forced hand to make him actually come out and express his real emotions to Ed for the first time in person.

There's something poignant about them both trying to find their way to this idea of the man they love, but both being so caught up in the illusion they've built around them that they go straight past them.

Ed has become what Stede was in S1: the man who dropped his entire life, his partner, his family and his world to go and follow a career he has no experience of because it feels safer than where he is right now. And Stede has become exactly what he thought he needed to be, to be worthy of Ed: a fearsome legendary pirate in all the ways he criticised Ed in 1x06.

"I don't like who you are around this guy," he says about Ed when he's in Jack's company, and Ed tells him "This is who I am. This is me" and now, Stede has become that. He's emulated that. This is who Ed said he is. Only he finds Ed, giddy and accepted and finally, finally considering himself Ed's equal, and Ed tells him "I don't know who I am" and leaves him.

They've been so caught up in their perceptions of this idea of who their partner is that they haven't actually looked beneath the the facade.

And a big part of the problem is that neither of them know who they are. They know who they're 'meant' to be according to the society around them and the people who shaped them ("nothing but a weak-handed, soft-hearted, lily-livered little rich boy" and "not those kind of people"). They know who they've been told to be.

Before they can go any further, they need to figure themselves out and what that means for them and their relationship with each other.

[naranjapetrificada]

Fanfic Friday

Here's what I've been reading this week (3 OFMD fics and 1 GO):

This Sudden Burst of Sunlight by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates, which as of yesterday is complete! It's a modern AU that starts with Ed in a pretty dark place, but over the course of 15 chapters he he meets Stede and finds his community and reconnects with his art (he's a painter) and basically learns to love life. It's a wonderful journey of healing and so so sweet.

Invisible String by @dimplyowl, which is an older, illustrated (!) modern AU with a fun twist: Stede lives in the modern world, but Ed is the star of Stede's comfort novel series, a fictional version of Blackbeard. One day Stede notices the books have started changing from what he remembers, and Ed seems to be trying to communicate with him? It should be hard to pull off but they make it look easy.

Switzerland by @oatmilktruther, which is set after season 2 and explores disordered eating. What I like about this (besides everything there is to like about their fics) is that we get to see Stede do some healing and processing. It makes perfect sense why so many of the post-canon healing fics are Ed-centric, but one thing that season 2 could have accomplished with enough time is some of the growth Stede still has ahead of him. This scratches that itch while also being beautifully written.

A Lighthouse (Burning) by @books-and-omens, whose back catalog I'm working through after recommending them last week. It's another location-focused, canon-divergent story that puts Crowley and Aziraphale in a position where they're forced to acknowledge their feelings for each other, while also reflecting on time and memory and choice and desire. Wonderfully evocative as expected and stuffed to the gills with spooky atmospheric vibes. Highly, highly recommended.

[scarysanctuary]

I think there's plenty of interpretations as to why Stede decided to initiate sex with Ed not long after they agreed to take it slow, but it seems to me the main reason was that he was using it as a way to comfort himself after having just killed a man. Ed comes to his door, telling him he understands how he's feeling, and that's exactly what he needs in that moment. I say this because of this tearful look right here when he pulls Ed into his room, Stede doesn't seem turned on, or basking in the glory of a kill, no, he's wounded and desperate for healing, something that only Ed can offer.

So their first time isn't some magical moment, a culmination of their love, but as a last ditch effort to wipe out a newly formed trauma, and feel okay again. So when Ed says it was a mistake, its not that sex with Stede was a mistake, but the timing was, the circumstances were wrong, and as a result, it sullied their first time. They may have fucked, but they didnt make love, and Ed seems to know the difference between the two, but Stede doesn't, not yet.

So i believe that Stede was completely repentant, and regretted killing Ned Low, and feeling quite guilty, but once they reach the Republic of Pirates, everyone is cheering for him, and buying him drinks, treating him like a real "man", finally giving him the respect and kudos he's been searching for since he was a kid. Much like the sex, i believe he uses this turn of events as a coping mechanism, turning poison into positivity and reframes the trauma into a good thing, he's actually a pirate, and wouldn't Ed be so proud of him? Not even realizing that Ed is on a journey of self discovery of his own, rebranding if you will, and he's tired of killing, and piracy in general, he's no longer captain, and he's been just fine with that. They didnt seem to notice that they love each other so much they've started to become more like the other, while neglecting a huge part of their own true selves, not understanding that they love each other as they are. Change is okay, but you dont need to throw away your leathers, and your past, and you dont need to throw away your innocence and empathy, to be exactly what the other person already wanted.

Of course there is way more to it, but i think its important to realize why Ed maybe thinks sleeping together was a mistake in the first place, even if it doesnt excuse their lack of communication skills. As Mary Read said, they are like 14 year old boys, i dont expect them to be perfect when it comes to expressing their feelings.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I love your fic recc masterlists. any for our flag?

YES. They all feat. my favourite angry little man getting fucked. I. Uh. Will gather some more T-rated and G-rated ones in time, as I love found-family stuff with the crew. But for now... Have a compilation of Izzy getting railed, as he so badly needs and deserves?

ALL FICS ARE EXPLICIT! BE YE WARNED! check the tags, too - I may have missed a few warnings!

If Not Now by Buukkin

I've reccommended this before, but it truly is THEE modern AU. A gorgeously drawn comic with spot-on characterisation and growth. It will hurt your heart, in the best possible way. Please heed the tag warnings - there's some domestic abuse.

You're An Idiot (do it again) by sweveris

The perfect chaser for That Scene In The Bar. After talking about Ed being "A complicated man," things get equally complicated between Stede and Izzy.

Doldrums series by xylodemon

READ THIS. It's got some of the best writing and characterisation out there! After Ed and Stede get back together, Izzy decides the best option is to leave. He winds up sailing with Jack Rackham. They set out to sea to make something of themselves, separate from the legend of Blackbeard. Only - why the fuck is the Revenge in hot pursuit? (The answer: Ed is incandescently jealous. Steddyhands is the beautiful endgame.)

you take me, untangled, by shatteredhourglass

A/B/O steddyhands. Hot, filthy, and absolutely freaking hilarious. “Oh god,” Izzy says faintly, with slight despair. “I’m going to take Stede fucking Bonnet’s virginity.”

Domestication by SpinelessDragon

I am in love with this Steddyhands A/B/O fic, starring feral Omega Izzy. I have read it an embarrassing number of times. Please go give it some love! Izzy has never had a nice heat in his life, but apparently Stede motherfucking Bonnet has decided to change that.

Good Things (you deserve them too) by IWillBeYourPet

Lucius/Izzy - Lucius decides to prank Izzy by paying a random man to flirt with him, just to see how he reacts. The plan backfires when Izzy is tentatively interested. Suddenly, Lucius can't bear to see this all go wrong - or for Izzy to get hurt.

A Deal with the Devil by Moonlessnite

Aka, how Izzy got Jack to distract Ed. this one's bittersweet and beautiful, and kinda fucked up. I dig it. Calizzy? Calicozzy? Calico Jizzy?

in the presence of touch by hawkeyedkoi

Obviously, the answer to Izzy moping after Ed is for Ed to fuck him once. Just to get it out of his system. It goes as well as you'd expect (i.e., eventual Steddyhands.)

Sharp and Steady by Lizardbitch

Stede figures out just how to dom Izzy. Established Steddyhands deliciousness! Read the sequel for fun fucked up Calico Jack/Ed/Izzy shenanigans~ ;) No, seriously. Read it. Hot damn, that hurt so good.

bet on losing dogs by f0urshame

Ed and Izzy are stuck on the Revenge post-mutiny and desertion, destined to die either at each other's hand, or by the uncaring cruelties of the ocean. Obviously, they fuck about it.

I have a million more reccs because there are sooooo many good fics out there - but these are the ones I'm currently obsessing over! Enjoy!

Feel free to add more Izzy-gets-fucked-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life fics! Or boost your own! I'm always hunting for more.

[al-mightys-blog]

In this trying times I've decided that I'm cringe but free, so I can post as well my Power Point presentation about OFMD for my English classes I made a year ago 😌🫴🏻

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Watch OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

1. It's about pirates

1717. The Golden Age of Piracy.

Wealthy landowner Stede Bonnet set out to find adventure and renown on the high seas. And he met a famous legend – the dread pirate Blackbeard. We watch their adventures, exchange of experience and confrontation with the Navy. This is the moment when you begin to remember notorious works inspired by pirate culture. For example "Treasure Island", 'Pirates of the Caribbean" , "Assassin's Creed". And you think... haven't we had enough? Haven’t we seen and known everything about pirates? Enough is enough. Come up with something new, folks

2. It's a comedy

When you think about comedies, I believe your head is filling up with moments from your favorite movies and shows. The good and old quality content that went through fire and water and made you laugh so many times. They don' t make anything like this nowadays. And we are used to an empty and similar shell of comedies. So you need to ask yourself: do you really want to laugh out loud until your belly hurts, because that is what you will get if you start to watch “Our Flag Means Death”. The perfect timing and delivery, the combination of the old setting and new realities, the general idiocy of situations will bring you to the edge of tears. Do you really need this? Is it really worth it? Yeah, I thought so.

3. It has a brilliant cast

You won't find a show with such an ethnically diverse cast anywhere else. Yes, this is a show about pirates who spread fear on the shores of the West Indies and were persecuted by the British Navy, but your fellow aristocrat from Barbados speaks with a New Zealand accent. The scariest pirate in history not only also speaks with a New Zealand accent, he is also Māori. Your ordinary pirate crew has a cannibal, a weirdo with a cleaver, a killing machine and a scribe among others. You'll just be constantly distracted by thinking how well the actors nailed their roles.

4. It makes you believe in love again

You think you're watching a silly little comedy about pirates, but then you start realizing that you believe in love again. How could that happen?

The two main characters met when they needed each other the most. The terrible pirate Blackbeard - a living legend - has lost the will to live. Wealthy landowner Stede Bonnet escaped from the trap of aristocratic life. The spark that ran between them, in a favorable, open and trusting space, turned into deep feelings. One didn't realize their power, the other didn't realize them at all, but both were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. Do you really need to believe in love again? In this economy?

5. It's an ongoing series

The first season was realized last year. The second season is expected this spring. The plot can take any turn. This is not a safe watching of an already ended show. For example the real pirates in the real world, aka Stede No-Middle-Name Bonnet and Edward Teach Or Thatch, parted and both died in 1718. Literally a year after the events described in the first season. No one wants to watch a show where the main characters who are in love with each other die in the end.

These are five reasons why you shouldn't watch this show if you don't want to constantly think about pirates.

[avastyetwats]

Sweet and Savory

Continued from here. @izzyeffinhands

"Don't let the gaff come loose!" Stede Bonnet, the supposed Captain, called out from behind his fellow Captain, who was actually doing the work and calling out the orders like an actual Captain would. But Stede was trying! He was observing and making sure all went well. Or rather that's what he should be doing when in reality, he was just levitating behind Izzy listening to him giving all the orders and repeating them like he knew what he was saying. To be fair, he was a better Captain now than when he first started some time ago and it was all thanks to Izzy. Though they'd gotten off to quite the rough start, but their story turned into something truly beautiful. And here they were now, married. So very deeply in love, committed and bonded in ways they would never be with anyone else, nor did they care to be. They had one another for the rest of their immortal life and they were just fine with that.

Immortal? Why yes, because they were vampires. Vampire pirate Captains to be exact and unlike James Flint's crew, their own crew accepted them as such. Well, they hadn't at first. It took a good while for them to come around, but then again, they didn't have much of a choice. When their secret was found out - mostly thanks to Stede who had difficulty keeping the secret to himself (how could he when he can fly!?) - they had the choice of either accepting and staying as part of the crew or, well, being killed and Stede certainly didn't want that. He liked his crew. Roach, Frenchie, Lucius, Black Pete, Wee John, Fang... and he didn't want to have to kill any of them. Now that would just be depressing. Black Pete wasn't surprised at the information, and apparently had even called it, and remained loyally on the crew, mostly in hopes to be turned into a vampire at some point and since he and Lucius were an item, Lucius stayed.

Frenchie was the most afraid out of them all due to the stories and rumors he's heard about the creatures and Roach simply didn't want to be eaten. But the day they got over it was the day they'd been found hiding with a makeshift cross created by Frenchie and a couple of carrot sticks held by Roach. Izzy found them first and Stede appeared behind Izzy with a curious, "hey guys! what're you up to!?" and then when he saw the carrot sticks, Stede snatched and ate them with a happy smile on his face, oblivious as to why Roach even had them. That was the night they all had a talk and promised their survival and place of safety among the ship. After that, things had been much better. They became a family and kept each other safe. Though admittedly sometimes it was hard for Stede because he loved human blood so much and being surrounded by his human crew was pure torment, thus why he enjoyed hunting quite often when they could and now that they were docked, perhaps they'd be able to tonight.

"I'm not always hungry." Stede argued with a huff, arms crossed over his chest as he continued to float behind Izzy. Or rather now in front of him since he turned to look at him. Izzy wasn't wrong, though. Stede was hungry quite a bit and gods, human blood was his favorite. He had no issues with hunting humans and nor did Izzy, unless unable to for whatever reason. But they were in Nassau now so surely they could find someone. He lowered himself onto the ground, now standing directly in front of Izzy and he groaned. "Can't we do that tomorrow? Or maybe pay others to do it..." Surely some on Nassau would happily do so for even just a little bit of money. "Izzyyyy, we haven't hunted in days." He whined, leaning into his hand. Since they've been out at sea and all, which of course Stede loved, but going too long without human blood was torturous. So when he agreed he beamed and practically bounded on his feet and thanked him with a kiss. "Mm, I think blond. I'm feeling something sweet tonight." Blonds had the sweeter taste whereas brunettes more savory and redheads? The perfect balance of both. He nearly flew into the air from excitement, but managed to resist the urge since they were in Nassau now and he had to be careful. Their crew may know, but Stede wasn't stupid. He knew to keep this secret from anyone and everyone else. "Shall we?" He grinned, his own fangs bared as he held his arm open for his husband, the love of his immortal (and mortal) life.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I have a concept in my head of season 3 of OFMD being like...Ed needs to learn to be bad at things, and Stede needs to get used to being good at things.

It's going to be a huge adjustment for Ed, I think. He is so accustomed to this sort of massive success where he must be hyper-competent at absolutely everything that the learning curve is going to hit him hard. He's going to have crying breakdowns because he didn't manage to properly seal the roof on his first try. He's going to realize that it was maybe a bit ambitious to decide he wanted his first ever woodworking project to be intricately carving designs into the baseboard. He's going to have to learn that it's okay not to have an angle, and he's safe to just go out and fish not because he Needs that to be something he's Amazing at, literally life-or-death stakes, but just because it's something he enjoys.

And Stede. Oh boy. Stede is so used to being seen as a failure that it's integral to his self-perception, and at this point he's just accepted that Stede Bonnet Is A Failure. In some ways, this is actually going to help - Stede's used to trying, fucking up, and then trying again better. He's used to having to improvise and think on the go. In that way, he's a perfect fit for Ed's struggles, because he'll tackle all those little homemaking tasks with unfettered enthusiasm and a willingness to try and fail until he gets it right.

But because Stede is so convinced that he's a fuckup, he tends to just passively accept blame for everything. He won't even defend himself. Ed in s2 is already getting so much better about being able to put his fears and worries on the table, and if Stede is just blaming himself for everything, it's going to quickly become very one-sided. Ed's had a lot more growth here than Stede has, and getting feelings out of Stede will be like pulling teeth. I can easily see Ed starting to worry that Stede just isn't listening to him, and getting annoyed when Stede clearly doesn't like the furniture they picked for the living room even though he said it was fine. Stede's going to just roll over on most domestic squabbles and spats because he just assumes that Ed's right and he's wrong, and eventually Ed's going to catch on and worry that Stede just doesn't want to talk with him and compromise. When Stede just accepts full blame for things and assumes he's entirely at fault, it also means he's denying Ed needed explanations for why he did or said certain things.

I can so easily see the main challenge of the season being that Ed is ready to get married, he's excited to make this commitment, he knows they're it for each other and he wants this. Their wedding was super clearly foreshadowed, it's something Ed clearly wants very deeply. But Stede's first marriage was such a disaster, and he felt like a failure of a husband, and he's going to be terrified of that happening again. And that's just going to build and build until something gives and Stede realizes that he's hurting Ed by just assuming ahead of time that Stede is going to be a failure of a husband to him.

Just...Ed getting to learn that he's okay to not be perfect at everything he does, and the world won't fall apart around him. Stede slowly starting to see that he's genuinely not fundamentally a fuck-up, and he needs to have a little faith in himself for his relationship with Ed to be healthy. And both of them getting to be secure in knowing that they've got the other right there with them for support the whole way.

[straightupsickfics]

Teacher Anon 💛 💛 💛 💛 💛 💛 omfg my friend!!! Happy 2024! I hope it's off to a great start...

It's only Tuesday...

Ugh.

So how about something with our favorite pirates in their modern Ed is very protective of his hubby in his black cat "imma hover over you" mode. I freaking lost my voice due to a non illness and I'm like how am I teaching tomorrow!?! So like me as an educator...Stede must also suffer a lost voice as a professor 🙃

ahh happy new year, friend! i hope you're feeling better today and did not have to talk tooo much! <3 some sad, soggy stede for you...

***

Stede’s car is a sheet of ice. 

After the world’s longest day, Stede has finally, finally reached his car, and it’s absolutely encased in ice. It’d been raining all day, he’d known that, of course. What he hadn’t realized was how cold it'd gotten, leaving him helpless, gloveless, and scraper-less when it came time to get in his car. 

He wants to cry.

More than that, he wants to scream. Except he can’t, because he hasn’t had a voice since sometime yesterday afternoon, thanks to whatever horrible virus he managed to pick up right at the start of the semester. 

He thinks about calling Ed, but aside from rasping pitifully into the phone, even that feels impossible.  Instead, he takes a picture of his car, adds a few crying emojis and hits send. It’s about all his bone-tired brain can handle at the moment, and Ed will get it.

Ed always gets it. Gets him. 

The thought makes his eyes well up all over again as he heads back to his office to wait for his husband to rescue him. 

Stuffed with books, covered in prints, and full to bursting with a small, plush sofa, and many, many ocean creatures, Stede’s office is extremely cozy, which is a small comfort in times like these. He drops dramatically into his desk chair, thinks about grading some of the papers he has waiting for him, wilts a little, then drags himself over to the small sofa in the corner. 

Better. 

Then, miracle of miracles, his phone buzzes in his hand. 

Edward 💜: Oh, fuck. On my way 😘

Stede: Have I mentioned how much I love you?

Edward 💜: Not today. Frankly, I’m feeling a little neglected, babe

Stede: I love you. x 1,000

Edward 💜: Hmmm, needs a few more 0s I think… 

Edward 💜: Okay, love you, driving now, be there soon!!

With Ed on his way and all his students gone for the day, Stede lets himself droop across his sofa, his eyes falling shut before he can even register how heavy they’ve felt these last few hours. He’s moments from falling asleep when Ed’s voice startles him upright. 

“Aww, Stede,” Ed says. “Y’look fucking shattered, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft and sympathetic that Stede isn’t even surprised when his eyes fill with tears in earnest this time. Ed looks perfect in his black puffy coat, not ridiculous the way he should, the way everyone else looks. His hair is flecked through with rain drops, and he’s looking at Stede like he’d pick him up and carry him to the car if he thought Stede would let him. 

At this rate, Stede thinks, he’d have a hard time even protesting. 

“Hi,” Stede tries to say, but his throat is scraped raw, and he knows he’s barely audible, having wasted the last of his voice on his American Lit seminar this afternoon. A waste, as half the class had been on their phones, and the rest had the kind of zombie-eque, dead-eyed stares that made him wonder why he even bothered. 

How many weeks until spring break?

“Come here,” Ed says, making his way to Stede and offering him a hand to help him up. He pulls him right into a warm, tight hug, rubbing Stede’s back as they stand there wrapped up in each other. Stede would’ve stayed there for hours, face smushed right into Ed's coat... that is, if he could breathe. Between the worsening congestion and Ed’s thick coat, though, he doesn’t stand a chance. 

Stede lifts his head and blinks pathetically up at Ed, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky.

“Made that soup you like, that hot Italian thing? Should feel nice on your throat, even if you can’t taste it,” Ed tells him, dropping a kiss to the tip of Stede’s nose. "Then we'll get in bed, yeah? Fucking 7:00 pm bedtime. Don't let anyone tell you different Stedey, that's living the dream."

“Thank you,” Stede manages. He tucks himself back into Ed’s chest for another long minute. He can’t wait to be home, and warm, and out of his work clothes. Stede had longed for exactly that all day. But now, standing here, Ed wrapped around him, murmuring promises about soup and tea and ocean documentaries, Stede feels close enough to home; what’s another few minutes?

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Hope I’m not bothering you with all my requests but your writing is incredible! (*^^*)♡

Maybe some endgame SteddyHands x Reader where Ed and Stede are together and Izzy and Reader are together and they go on a double date (Stede’s idea) and all have a really good time. But afterwards whenever it’s not all four of them together it feels like someone’s missing. Shenanigans ensue. Ed and Stede probably decide to invite you and izzy on more double dates and Izzy is probably worrying that you are realizing you want better than him and Reader is just confused and concerned.

Maybe eventually Lucius tells them all that “if all of you would rather go on double dates and spend time with all four of you, why don’t you all just dare each other?” And the Ed, Stede, Izzy, and Y/N all realize “ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ how did we not think of that?”

Just All Date Each Other Already!

“Why did you agree to this?” Izzy grumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair, evenly spreading the pomade throughout it. He didn’t even know why he was stressing so much about this, it was ridiculous. 

“Because they were doing that thing where they act like you have a choice but you actually don’t,” you reminded him, fixing the fastenings of your shirt.

“All the more reason to decline,” he continued to complain as he wiped the excess from his hands.

“They’re our captains and our friends, it’s a double date. It won’t kill us,” you rolled your eyes fondly. Really, you wouldn’t think spending a dinner with one of his oldest friends wouldn’t be such a cause of stress for him.

“Barely been on a normal date, nevermind a double date. What even the fuck is that?”

Finishing up with the cuffs of your shirt, you walked up to him. You gently took hold of his waist, turning him to face you before soothingly running your hands up and down his sides. “I have taken you on plenty of dates, thank you very much. A double date is just two couples spending some time together,” you told him, though you were sure he could figure that out. “It’ll be fine, love.” 

You made a bit of a show of flattening his collar and centering the knot of his tie even if it was already pretty perfect. “There you go. You look perfect,” you kissed the tip of his nose playfully just to make his cheeks flush pink. 

“Let’s get this over with.” That was as enthusiastic as Izzy was going to get about this, but you could work with that.

“Iz, sweetie, relax. It’s just dinner. You and Ed can hang out like old times and I’ll make sure Stede isn’t too overbearing,” you assured him, giving his shoulders a little squeeze. 

“Alright,” Izzy sighed before looking you once over. 

You had dressed up a little, throwing on some nicer looking clothes that you own. Nothing fancy, just not the sort of clothes you would scrub the deck wearing. Izzy didn’t have any ‘nice clothes’, but he forwent his vest in an attempt to feel more…approachable. 

“We’ve got this,” you shot him a wink before taking his hand and leading him out of the little cabin you shared. 

At least you didn’t run into any of the other crew members on your way to the captain’s cabin, that would only put Izzy more on edge. Once you reached the door, you gave Izzy’s hand a reassuring and grounding squeeze.“I love you,” Izzy said under his breath, staring at the door. The poor man sounded like he was being led to the gallows. 

“We’re not dying, Iz,” you laughed. “But I love you too,” you gave him a quick kiss, just for a little added confidence, before knocking on the door. 

Stede flung the door open and greeted you both with a bright smile. “Right on time!” he praised, pleased with the timeliness. “Welcome, come on in, make yourselves comfortable.” 

When Stede stepped to the side, you and Izzy walked into the cabin. Edward beamed at you both from a cabinet where he was selecting a bottle of something suitably aged to have over dinner.

“I know you’re going to ask for rum, Iz, but please just give this wine a chance,” Edward spoke up before Izzy could even open his mouth. 

“I’ve had wine before, Edward,” Izzy scoffed. Sure, probably not whatever wine Stede Bonnet collected, but he knew what wine tasted like. 

“But not this wine,” Edward waved a bottle in front of him. 

“I’m sure we’re going to love it,” you smiled, giving Izzy’s hand another small squeeze. 

You herded Izzy over to the dining table. “Sit at any of the placements you like. Roach is particularly proud of this spread,” Stede told you both. 

You and Izzy chose two seats beside each other. You didn’t know if it was customary for partners to sit beside or opposite each other, but you weren’t about to leave Izzy’s side when he was already anxious either way. 

Edward strode over to the table and filled four glasses with red wine, before he took his seat opposite Izzy. Stede was quick to sit by Ed’s side, opposite you.

The four of you filled your plates with Roach’s food, adding certain elements whenever Stede recommended something. 

“So, Izzy,” Stede spoke with an air of casualness, even if his attempt at casual conversation came off as a little awkward. 

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you ate, suspenseful to see how Stede was going to communicate with the first mate. They had been getting along better, not at each other’s throats all the time, but still very rarely interacted one-on-one. At least you and Edward were there to mediate if anything went wrong. 

“How is the crew?” Stede asked. 

Good idea, you thought, talk about something neutral. When you glanced over at Edward to see his reaction, he appeared to be thinking the same thing. 

“Not bad, not going to get themselves killed while we have dinner,” Izzy shrugged, speaking like he wasn’t sure how to converse with the other man. 

“C’mon, Iz. Gotta be more to say than that,” Edward prompted, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“The sword fighting lessons have been going really well, tell them about that, love,” you suggested, smiling in a way to let Izzy know that you had him, that you were here for him. 

“The crew are doing…fine. I suppose they’re not as useless as they once were. Feeny and Pete are taking to swordsmanship fairly well. Frenchie isn’t so good with a sword but his footwork is impressive,” Izzy reported. 

“And the Swede is getting really good with the knots,” you added, sounding proud that Izzy had taught them such things. Proud to have Izzy as your partner. 

“He’s…made little songs to remind him how to tie different knots,” Izzy sighed, his nose scrunching up at the memory of sitting through the Swede explaining each of the songs. 

“It’s sweet.” You couldn’t help but feel a little fond as whenever you passed the strange man singing his little songs and tying his knots.

“It’s ridiculous,” Izzy corrected.

“Well, it sounds rather effective,” Stede grinned, “I’m glad you’re all getting along.”

“Izzy is a good teacher when he wants to be,” Edward told Stede, shooting Izzy a playful wink. 

“When people listen,” Izzy muttered before helping himself to another forkfull. 

“And that is why Jack still doesn’t know which start is which,” Edward agreed, sounding fond and amused. 

“The fucker can barely find Polaris. Would be able to if he listened to anything that wasn’t a crude joke,” Izzy smirked, amusement in his eyes, while Edward laughed.

Stede took a sip of his wine before nervously swirling the liquid around in the glass. “Well, I was wondering, Izzy…if you could give me some lessons with a sword. I’ve improved some but I’m not nearly as good as you or Edward,” Stede asked before quickly adding, “I promise to listen.” 

Izzy eyed him for a moment, like he was trying to figure out if Stede was being serious about lessons, if he was worth the time. Izzy must have decided he was serious, because he agreed. “Suppose I could, yeah.” 

“Told you he’d do it!” Edward placed a hand on Stede’s knee, giving it an excited shake. “And we’ll come and cheer you both on, right?” he looked across to you. 

“Obviously,” you smiled back at him. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you knocked your shoulder against Izzy’s, he rolled his eyes but still smiled to himself. 

After the promise of lessons, the conversation lulled. Falling awkward for a moment, a nervous energy buzzing over the four of you. 

“Oh!” Stede perked up, thinking up a topic for conversation. “You won’t believe the conversation we had with the tailor at the last port…”

Stede’s story about the tailor was…mundane at best, but you felt somewhat fond while listening to him and his passion about how the tailor dared to suggest the mix of certain fabrics. You even caught Izzy listening to the tale, the corner of his mouth quirking up every now and again, likely at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. 

Occasionally Edward would jump in with something along the lines of “can you fucking believe that!” or “it was fucking diabolical!” which was all very entertaining and rather sweet. 

You and Izzy remained in the captain’s cabin long after dinner was finished, which wasn’t the plan but wasn’t unpleasant by any means. Apparently the two of you decided that it would simply be rude to leave without finishing the bottle of wine…and the second one. 

The wine helped the four of you loosen up, tension about the strange situation fading and any nerves long forgotten. Stories flew from each of you, the others listening intently. Jokes were shared and laughter echoed, the company feeling surprisingly easy. 

At the end of the evening, you and Izzy had your arms linked together as you headed for the door.

“This was a wonderful evening!” Stede exclaimed, his voice loud with drink but endearing nonetheless, as he walked you both to the door.  “We’ll have to do it again.” 

‘Course we will, love,” Edward agreed warmly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

“And we shall see you both tomorrow,” Stede moved with far too much familiarity but you found that you didn’t really mind when he stepped forward and took you by the arms. 

You spluttered a little when he kissed both of your cheeks, still smiling wide as he pulled away, but laughed it off. Izzy’s face was bright red as he received his cheek kisses, and you had to hold back a startled giggle. 

“Alright, mate, come on,” Edward laughed, pulling Stede away.

“Goodnight, darlings!” Stede waved but was already walking over to the dining table. “Edward, come help me clean up!”  

“He doesn’t drink a lot and wine is particularly…effective on him,” Edward explained, nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. 

“It’s fine,” you assured him as you lent into Izzy’s side, feeling him tighten his hold on your arm. 

“Edward!” Stede called from the table, making you laugh. 

“Night, guys,” Edward grinned, glancing over his shoulder to check on Stede, who was stacking plates. 

“Night, Ed,” you smiled and Izzy gave him a nod before the two of you left. 

You and Izzy returned arm in arm to your shared cabin. 

“Tonight was actually kinda fun,” you reflected as you closed the door behind you. 

“Yeah…it actually was,” Izzy agreed, clearly surprised that he shared your sentiment.

But Izzy didn’t have much time to think about that because you were alright in front of him, already working him out of his shirt as you brought him into a sweet kiss.

Back in the captain’s cabin, the two men had tidied the table somewhat before slipping into their comfy bed. 

“Tonight was lovely, Ed,” Steded murmured into Edward’s neck, happily curled up around him. 

“It was fun. I think even Izzy enjoyed himself,” Edward mused fondly, tracing little shapes against’s Stede’s arm. It really had been too long since he and Izzy spent some time together and it was nice to see Izzy happy with somebody who treated him well, you were clearly very good for his friend.

“We really should do it again.” 

“I’d like that,” Edward smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Stede’s head.

-

Apparently that double dinner date had awoken something between the four of you. Relationships between Izzy and the crew had been improving for a while now and, while he didn’t seek out Stede’s company, he didn’t complain so much about the co-captain’s presence. The new development was that the four of you were putting much more effort into spending time together than you usually would.

Stede had stayed committed to his lessons with Izzy, never missing a lesson and always putting his full effort into it. He really was improving as well. His dedication and improvements were doing the job of gaining Izzy’s respect, and perhaps even some fondness. As the two men sparred back and forth, you and Edward would cheer them on from the sidelines and throw in advice for Stede. Edward would throw an arm around your shoulders when he got over excited, shaking you as he cheered on one of the men.

Edward had been randomly finding you when you were up on the deck, teaching you little tips and tricks about how to predict the weather. You were learning how to read the clouds and pay more attention to the temperature changes, but you knew you would never develop the sixth sense that Edward seemed to possess. Still, you enjoyed those little moments together.

Edward and Izzy would spend some evenings sitting up in the crows nest, just like they used to when they were deckhands on the same ship. Talking in a way they hadn’t in years.

After sharing your routine morning coffee with Izzy, when Izzy had left to round up the rest of the crew, Stede would come and speak with you. Never about anything important, just like he wanted to spend some time in your company, and you didn’t mind in the slightest. 

Spending time together were highlights of your days but nothing quite compared to when all four of you found yourselves together. When the four of you got together for something it just felt like something was clicking into place. 

The four of you were getting along better than ever, finding yourself seeking each other out just for the sake of it. You enjoyed each other’s company, found it easy to be around each other, enjoying learning more about each other, and growing fonder of each other as the days passed.

However, this new closeness had caused a few…crises. 

Stede loves Edward, he had never known love like this, he didn’t even think it existed. Only weeks ago Stede would have easily and proudly exclaimed that Edward was his entire world. And yet, he found himself longing after the company of two others. He loved Edward dearly, every part of him, Edward was more than he could ever ask for. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the time he and Edward spent together but he found that he enjoyed that time as much as he enjoyed his time with you or Izzy, and when he considered it to be the best was when all four of you were together. Everything just felt so…right. Was he truly so greedy and so selfish that he needed to have you and Izzy as well? Oh god, what would Edward think if he knew?

Edward had been beating himself up as well, finding himself curled up in an empty bathtub more often than usual. He loved Stede, had from the very start and never questioned it since. But he loved Izzy too. He and Izzy had such a history and over time the connection they shared had become tangled and twisted into something unrecognisable. But he did love Izzy, had for a long time, just assumed it was a different kind of love to what he shared with Stede. Plus, he was with Stede and Izzy was with you. The two of them were happy and things were finally going well for them both, so why did something feel wrong? Then there was you, he could so easily see what drew Izzy towards you. Your kindness and sincerity, your patience and open adoration for the people you love and care about. Edward had always liked you but spending more time with you had been eye opening. He was Blackbeard, he should be able to have everything he wanted and more, but he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Stede, of hurting any of you.

Despite the worries of the captains, they didn’t talk about it, but they did decide to invite you and Izzy on more double dates. Dinner and drinks in their cabin, stargazing on the quarterdeck, nature walks when the ship was anchored near land. 

-

For the most recent, totally normal, just between friends, double date, the four of you were in the captain’s cabin again. Stede really loved going ashore and doing something exciting with the three of you but the privacy of the cabin was second best.

The four of you were sitting around the lit fire, the cabin warm and cosy. Edward was lounging on the couch, stretching his bad leg out over Stede’s lap. Izzy was sitting in one of the arm chairs, surprisingly relaxed, while you had made yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs. Sitting on a pillow with your head resting against the inside of his knee. 

You laughed at one of Edward’s stories, turning your face into Izzy’s knee to muffle the sound. 

“Oh! Before I forget, I picked something up for you when we were last at port,” Stede announced excitedly, placing his drink down. 

“Me?” you asked, eyes widening as you lifted your head from Izzy’s knee. 

“Yes, it’s nothing too special. I just saw it and it looked to be your size and I just thought about how well it would suit you!” Edward smiled as he moved his leg, letting Stede stand from the couch. “I’ll go fetch it!” and with that, Stede disappeared into his secret wardrobe.

You looked to Edward for some sort of explanation as Izzy sat up straighter behind you. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t too expensive,” Edward assured you, seeing the slight panic on both of your faces. “I agree with him though, think it will look fantastic on you.”

You couldn’t help but blush a little at the way Edward smiled at you. Admittedly, you could see why people gravitated towards him. 

Behind you, Izzy frowned to himself. Stede was getting you gifts and Edward was complimenting you…something about this felt…wrong to him. 

Stede soon returned with a silky looking white shirt on a hanger, holding it up proudly. “It’s alright if you don’t like it,” Stede quickly backtracked when you just stared at him, looking a little embarrassed.

You stood, Izzy offering you a hand, before approaching Stede. He kept hold of the hanger while you rubbed the material between your fingers. If you accepted the gift, it would definitely be the softest thing you owned.

You just didn’t understand why Stede would buy anything for you. “It’s beautiful, but you really didn’t need to-”

“I know that,” Stede tutted, “I just wanted too.”

“You should try it on,” Edward suggested and Stede nodded in agreement, while Izzy shifted in his seat. 

“Alright,” you nodded and took the shirt . Stede gestured for you to go into the wardrobe for some privacy. 

You disappeared into the closet, taking a quick look at Stede’s variety of clothes and the garments Edward had collected since being with Stede. 

Izzy watched you slip out of the room, a little frown still on his face. “What do you think, Iz?” Edward asked, getting his attention. 

“It’s nice,” Izzy shrugged. It was a nice shirt…

“This is all pretty nice, isn’t it? The four of us hanging out.” It sounded like Edward was trying to get at something, but Izzy wasn’t quite sure what. Izzy glanced at Stede for some sort of insight, but he just looked like he was waiting for some sort of approval.  

“Yeah…suppose it is,” Izzy agreed.

“We picked something up for you, as well,” Edward grinned, stretching out his bad leg before standing from the couch. Izzy watched, silent and confused, as Edward wandered over to the desk, pulling something out of a drawer. “I know you take care of your stuff so your knife is in perfect condition but it’s old and you deserve something new,” Edward brought the new dagger over to where Izzy was sitting.

“I had my eye on something else but Ed said it was more decorative than practical and I know you love practicality,” Stede confessed.

“What do you think, Iz?” Edward asked as he handed over the blade.

Izzy examined the blade, turning it around and testing the weight in his hand. It was a fine blade, thin and sharp. Deadly. The handle fit in his hand like it was made for him. It must have cost a pretty penny.

“It’s…it’s good. Uh…thank you,” Izzy could feel how warm his face had turned as he looked up to Edward.

“You’re welcome, mate,” Edward grinned, pleased with himself.

Thankfully, the attention was taken off of Izzy when you walked back into the room. You were wearing your new shirt, tucked into the waistband of your pants. They had been right, it was perfect on you. It billowed and clung to all the right places, the collar fastened with laces, letting you choose how tight or loose you wanted to tie it. Right now you had it tied loosely, casually. 

“So, what do you think?” you asked, uncomfortable with the silence you were met with. 

“Beautiful!” Stede complimented brightly, instantly blushing at his own praise. You blushed as well at the earnesty. 

“It suits you,” Izzy really meant it but he still felt like he was beat to the chance to make you blush and smile like that. 

“Thanks, love,” you still smiled brighter at his compliment and that helped put him at ease a little.

You returned to your sea between Izzy’s legs, flashing him another smile before making yourself comfortable. The captains poured more drinks and returned to their seats on the couch. Everything went back to normal but Izzy found himself unable to listen to the rest of the conversation.

Izzy had given you things before, but they were practical items. A new knife since yours had been a rusty old thing, a new pair of boots when yours got wrecked. He never got you something so fine just for the sake of it. 

What if that was what you wanted? What if you wanted what the captains could offer, what if you thought they were better for you than him? 

-

Things had definitely been a little…weird. The captains have been particularly friendly lately. Of course, you didn’t mind, you loved spending time with them and the more time you spent together the more you enjoyed it. You just weren’t sure what brought on the change.

Izzy seemed to have been enjoying your little get togethers as well, until recently. He was worrying about something but you couldn’t tell what it was and he wouldn’t tell you. You knew he would when he was ready, so you would just offer him support in the meantime.

You cared for Edward and Stede deeply, more than you originally thought you did, but your priority right now was making sure Izzy was alright.

Things had come to their climax, the tension no longer letting you ignore it. Izzy was avoiding Edward and Stede completely and being distant with you, you just refused to let him push you away completely. Edward was keeping his distance from you and Izzy, sticking extra close to Stede and it was like Stede was going out of his way to ensure nothing he did could be interpreted as anything but platonic.

It was all very strange and you hated it. You hated that something was on Izzy’s mind and he felt like he couldn’t talk to you about it, you hated that two of your closest friends were acting so distant. You wanted to know what was bothering Izzy but he refused to talk about it, you couldn’t ask Edward if he knew anything because he would practically run away from you whenever you tried. 

Something was wrong with each of the men you cared about but you just couldn’t figure it out at all. You wanted to make things right, you just didn’t know how.

-

By midday you felt like banging your head against the mast until something broke. Izzy was being all sulky, Edward weirdly flighty, and Stede uncharacteristically untalkative. 

“Why do you look so sad?” Lucius asked, coming up to your side. 

“Do you ever feel like something is going on with the people around you but you don’t know what and nobody will tell you what it is?” you asked, folding your arms on the ship’s railing. 

“Sometimes, and then we talk about it and solve the problem,” Lucius nodded, obviously with some judgement in his voice.

“Genius,” you muttered. You knew he was right, the four of you should talk about it, but that would be so much easier to do if they would actually talk to you about it! 

“You’re talking about Izzy and the captain’s right?” Lucius asked knowingly. 

“Yep. You noticed how weird they’ve all been acting too?” you knew you couldn’t be the only one who thought something was wrong, you weren’t going crazy.  

“Yes, I’ve noticed you idiots all being idiots,” Lucius rolled his eyes with a certain fondness. 

You groaned, dropping your forehead down to your folded arms. “Rude.”

“If it makes you feel better, you’re not the biggest idiot out of all of them,” he reassured you, patting your back. 

“Thanks, Luce,” you murmured into your arms. “I don’t know what happened. The four of us were getting along so well. It was great, y’know? But now it’s like nobody can stand to talk to each other for too long. I’ve asked Izzy about what’s going on but he always brushes it off like it’s nothing, when something is clearly wrong,” you lifted your head just enough to make sure Lucius could hear you clearly. 

“I think I know what’s going on here,” Lucius sighed, sounding exasperated with you all. 

“What?” you pushed yourself up from the railing and turned to him properly. You just wanted to fix things, and if Lucius had some insight you were willing to hear him out.

“I’m going to help you, mostly because the four of you sulking about it is really killing the mood.” You just rolled your eyes at him, knowing he cared really. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have even asked what was wrong. “But you’ll owe me big time for this, all of you will,” he warned. 

“Yeah, whatever, just please help me out, Lucius,” you didn’t think Lucius would ask much from you for his help. Probably just ask you to cover some chores for him.

“Grab your angry little man and meet me in the captain’s cabin,” he ordered, clearly already having some sort of plan ready.

“When?” you asked, unsure whether prep time would be helpful for Izzy or if it would only give him time to grow more anxious about the whole thing.

“Now. I’ll round up the captains.”

“...you really think this will work?”

“I really do,” Lucius sounded more like he was talking to himself than to you, but you decided to just go along with it.

You thanked him quickly before running off. You had no idea what he was planning but he had a plan and you didn’t, so you might as well give it a shot.

Izzy was definitely reluctant when you told him to follow you to the captain’s cabin, that you wanted to finally talk about whatever has been going on recently. He was even more reluctant when you mentioned that Lucius would also be there, but you didn’t want to surprise him with that. Thankfully, Izzy trusted you enough to know that you wouldn’t allow anything to harm him or put him in an overly uncomfortable situation. So, he let you lead him by the hand to their cabin.

You knocked on the door and Lucius opened it. “Sit down,” he ordered immediately, stepping aside to let you both in.

You just nodded and entered the room, seeing that Edward and Stede were already sitting on the couch, looking a little like scolded children. You and Izzy moved towards the armchairs but were quickly stopped. 

“Nope. On the couch,” Lucius corrected.

“Bit of a tight fit, Luce,” you pointed out, but he probably already knew that. 

“Don’t care. Sit,” Lucius cocked an eyebrow, arms folded over his chest sternly. 

You shared a look with Izzy before joining the captains on the couch. Edward and Izzy were on the outsides, pressed against the arms of the couch, while you and Stede were squeezed between them. 

“Lucius, what is this?” Stede questioned, sounding just as confused as Edward looked. 

“Couples therapy,” Lucius huffed, as if it were obvious. You all just frowned at him. It was not obvious. “The four of you couldn’t be more obvious. You’re all in love with each other,” Lucius never had been a fan of unneeded subtly when it came to this kind of thing, he liked a straight forward response. Even still, that was blunt for him.

Lucius thought it would be best to be blunt and smooth things over afterwards than try to get you four idiots to figure it out by yourselves. He didn’t have all day. 

“Lucius!” Stede eyes widened at the scribe, as if scandalised. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, boy,” Edward scoffed but pointedly wouldn’t look at him. 

“Seriously, this is your idea of helping?” you glared at him. Sure, you had accepted his help, but this wasn’t what you had imagined.

Izzy was surprisingly quiet beside you, just staring down at his lap. You didn’t think that was a good sign. 

“Shut up. The four of you, just listen,” Lucius tutted. “You’ve all been spending a lot of time together, right?” he asked. Figuring that you still weren’t allowed to talk, the four of you nodded. “And you enjoy spending time together?” You all nodded again. “And most of all you enjoy spending time as all four of you?” More nods, although they were more hesitant this time. 

“Then maybe all four of you should just…be together,” Lucius suggested as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

“Lucius-” you began to interrupt, this was a pretty heavy topic to just drop on everyone.

“Nope, still talking,” Lucius thoroughly chastised you. “Relationships don’t just have to be two people, and that’s perfectly okay,” he reminded the four of you.

When he didn’t speak for a moment, Stede figured he was allowed to talk again. “Lucius, I appreciate this and you know we all have nothing but respect for you and your relationships but…I don’t think that would be something I’m comfortable with.” 

Lucius considered him without judgement before nodding. “You wouldn’t be comfortable with Ed just sleeping with anyone, right?” he asked, still no judgement.

“Of course not!” 

“I wouldn’t fucking do that!” Edward defended himself, clearly offended by the mere suggestion. 

“It wasn’t an accusation,” Lucius reassured him. “So, you aren’t interested in an open relationship like Pete and I have. You need security. That’s fine, that’s not the only option.”

This was his nightmare, Izzy realised as the conversation sounded so far away. Lucius was suggesting that you be with somebody else (even if it was in addition to him). You would see that being with somebody else is better and would leave him behind.

As if sensing his spiralling, you gently took his hand in yours, just holding it as Lucius continued. It helped bring Izzy back into the cabin, into his body.

“The four of you could have a closed relationship. Just the four of you, all of you in a relationship with each other. Exclusivity between the four of you,” Lucius explained, “just like what you're already doing but with less pining.” 

Edward hummed to himself, a little ‘huh’ sound. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t already thought of this, but even if he had, would he have suggested it to Stede? He looked at Stede to see how he was reacting to the idea. Much to his delight, Stede looked interested, hopeful even.

Stede looked at Edward, perhaps to judge his reaction as well, and the two of them shared a silent communication. This was something they both wanted and they knew just by looking at each other. It would be new, especially for Stede, but it could be such a good thing.

Clearly making his decision, Edward broke out into a bright smile. 

“Well, uh, thank you for your…input, Lucius. I think the four of us need to talk about this…alone,” Stede gave him a tight smile, wringing his hands in his lap. 

“Hint taken,” Lucius nodded. “Come find me if you need any help…try to avoid it if necessary,” he escaped from the room promptly, probably to tell Pete everything, closing the door behind him.

“Well, this solves everything!” Edward stood up, clapping his hands together, staring brightly at the three of you. He looked almost proud of himself, as if it had been his idea. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of it first,” he admitted. 

Izzy was looking at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open, unable to do anything more. 

“Darling, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Stede stood and pulled Edward to the side, hoping to calm him down a little before he overwhelmed you or Izzy.

As soon as you were offered any sense of privacy, you turned to Izzy. “Are you alright?” Izzy could quite easily become overwhelmed, especially when it came to anything involving feelings, and your first instinct was to check in on him. 

Izzy convinced himself to meet your gaze, you deserved that at least. “Do you want to be with them?” he asked.

“I want to be with you,” you promised him without hesitation, already knowing where his mind was probably going. “I…I do like Ed and Stede, and I know you do too. I’m willing to give this a try if that’s something you want, but I promise you, Iz, I am not leaving you for them. I love you.” You knew that honesty was the only way to talk about this properly, but you wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. You were with him, no matter what he wanted.

“But…what if you end up liking them more?” Izzy’s question just broke your heart, he sounded so small, but at the same time you were so proud of him for allowing himself to be so vulnerable. 

“That’s never going to happen, it’s not possible. Even if I love them, I will always love you just as much, that will never change,” you kept one hand around his, bringing your other hand up to his cheek, hoping to ease the tension between his brows. “I know you love Ed, have for a long time, and I know you’ve been growing fond of Stede. That doesn’t mean you love me any less does it?” you asked and Izzy frantically shook his head. “I’m here no matter what you decide, I love you.” 

Izzy would never understand how you were so good at this, at handling him and reassuring him. “I love you too,” even after all this time, he always said those words with the same devotion as he did the first time. 

You smiled and lent in to give him a chaste kiss, just to make sure he got the point.

To the side of you both, somebody cleared their throat. You pulled away from Izzy, dropping your hand from his cheek, as you both turned to look at the captains. They were watching you both fondly. 

“I, uh…that was a lot. Is everyone…are you alright to speak about this?” Stede asked. He really did feel like he was getting good at the whole ‘communicating thing’.

You looked back at Izzy, letting him decide whether he wanted to talk now or if he needed some time. He nodded and you looked at the captains again. “Yeah, we want to talk about it.” 

Izzy’s hand never once left yours, even when Edward took hold of his other hand, even when Stede pressed kisses to each of your knuckles.

The four of you were up until the early hours of the morning, fueled by coffee and unspoken feelings, talking about feelings new and old. Considering how a relationship between the four of you might look, how the four of you might navigate it.

Stede had suggested a ‘proper courting period’, and then gone on to explain what that might consist of. 

Things would stay mostly the same but the four of you would be courting each other, knowing that the intentions are romantic in nature. You would take things slow, make sure everyone was comfortable and let things progress naturally. You wouldn’t rush or force anything. If it felt right then you knew you were doing the right thing, if it felt wrong the four of you could go back to normal, even if it was a little disappointing. 

The next morning you woke up, still in the captain’s cabin with your beloved partner and two possible partners. Propped up against Izzy’s chest with Edward’s head in your lap and Stede’s head on your shoulder, drooling slightly. 

It was only the first day of whatever this was but you felt good about it, felt good about the way the four of you fit together even in your sleep. You didn’t want to be the one to disturb the three men, so you just cuddled back into Izzy and buried your hand in Edward’s hair.

[fluffyllamas-23]

Okay so nobody asked for this, and I promise I am working on the prompts in my inbox. But I just finished season 1 of OFMD again and now I’m mad at Stede for doing what he did. So here’s an AU where they’re actually happy lmao. Ed owns a restaurant and Stede owns a bookshop.

Stede ducks into one of the restaurants on his way from his bookshop to the parking garage. He closes his umbrella and stomps on the mat in front of the door to dry off his shoes. It’s been pouring for the better part of last night and all this morning, and although he’s only been walking for a couple of minutes, he’s wet and cold and in the mood to warm up. 

He was planning on just getting in his car and going home, but it had smelled so good when he walked past. 

Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill. He’d been meaning to try it out, but since it’s a fairly new restaurant, he hadn’t had the chance yet. 

Until now, at least.

It’s an unassuming restaurant from the outside - some seating, a chalkboard listing the specials for the week, and a few plants adorning the front. When he steps inside, though, he immediately feels comforted, and he’s not sure exactly how or why. It feels like the perfect place to bring a book and curl up in one of the big chairs by the fireplace. 

He feels like he’s home. 

Despite how chill the ambiance is inside, it’s bustling with activity. There are people at nearly every table, and the bar is full.  As he glances around the room, trying to find a waitress or someone who can seat him. 

As he looks around the room, his eyes fall on what must be the most beautiful human being he’s ever seen in his life.  The man is behind the bar, chatting with a customer. His face is bright and vibrant, and he throws his head back as he laughs at whatever the customer said to him. His long, gray hair is pulled back into a low bun with a few tendrils out, framing his (beautiful, beautiful) face.

Stede’s got butterflies in his stomach that increases tenfold as the man looks at him and they lock eyes. 

He says something to the customer, never taking his eyes off of Stede, and then he’s walking over to him. 

Stede’s eyes widen as he approaches him.  

“Hi, there,” the man says softly, flashing him a charming grin. “I’m Ed. Welcome to my bar. Can I seat you?”

“H-hi,” Stede says, clearing his throat. He bites his lip to try and keep from smiling like an idiot. His eyes drop to the ground as maintaining eye contact suddenly makes him way more nervous than it ever has before. 

Ed leads him to a table in the corner, apologizing that it’s the only table he has available, but offers a booth if Stede doesn’t mind waiting. Stede declines the offer - he’s starving and all he wants to do is sit down and eat whatever it is that smells so good. 

He ends up staying all night, past closing. He and Ed have fallen deep into conversation, and soon, the night turns into the early hours of the morning. It’s hands down the best night Stede has had in the longest time. 

Ed feels the same, really. 

Stede makes Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill a regular stop after he leaves work for the day, and Ed learns to look forward to 5pm every day. 

They talk every time he comes in - sometimes Ed is so busy that he only has time for a brief conversation, other times (which, let’s be real, is most of the time), he sits with Stede and they talk for hours. 

Perks of being the owner.

They talk about everything. They talk about how Stede was married once, years ago, but things ended because neither of them were in love, and Stede realized he was gay. They talk about how Ed hasn’t had a real relationship…ever. He’s had a lot of one night stands, but no real, solid partnership, and all he wants is to have a significant other that he can come home to at night. Someone to love who loves him. They talk about their friends, their hobbies, their hopes and dreams and what they want out of life. Before they know it, they’re alternating who’s place they sleep at each night and spending most weekends together.

The relationship just feels so easy and so right. It’s like they’re both the missing puzzle piece the other didn’t realize their lives were missing. 

They just…fit.

*

“Oh, Ed!” Stede chirps out, pushing the front door open with his foot as he balances the drink carrier in one hand, and bags food in the other. 

He and Ed had decided to take the day off and spend it together. They’ve been dating for eight months at this point, and they like to do this once or twice every couple of months. They like to just be able to focus on each other and nothing else. 

Stede suggested they do that today when he noticed just how tired and rundown Ed has seemed lately. He figures Ed could probably use a day off to recharge and reset.

Ed was still asleep when Stede had woken up, and he figured he’d run out to their favorite breakfast place to pick up something to surprise Ed with.  

“Stede?” A hoarse, sleepy voice calls from the bedroom. “That you?”

Stede winces. Ed sounds like he just woke up, and he’s kicking himself for not coming in quieter. 

He sets everything down on the table. “Sorry! Were you asleep? Thought when you texted me earlier you were up for the day.”

Ed doesn’t respond immediately, but from the other room, Stede hears shuffling, and then coughing. Stede grimaces. So that’s why he’s seemed so rundown lately. He’d been getting sick.

“Fuck,” Ed croaks, rubbing his chest. He trudges out of the bedroom,  “I think I must have dozed off after I texted you. Sorry”

“That’s okay,” Stede frowns. “Ed…are you okay? You don’t sound great.”

“Think I'm sick,” Ed croaks, scowling as he rubs at his nose. “Pain in the fuckin’ ass.”

“Sit down,” Stede instructs, gesturing to the couch. “What do you need, sweetheart? Have you had any medicine?”

Ed shakes his head, dropping down onto the couch, “not yet…been hoping I could will it away by the time you got back.”

He looks so put out and offended that he hadn’t been able to accomplish that, and Stede does his best not to laugh at the situation. 

Stede’s lips quirk, “how’s that working for you?”

Ed shrugs, slumping back into the cushions while Stede rifles through the medicine cabinet.  “Not great. I think it’s a lost cause.”

“I think it is too, darling. Here,” Stede says, handing him a glass of water and two pills. “These should help.”

Ed’s quiet for a few moments, and then, in a small voice, “sorry I’m ruining our day off.”

“Ed, look at me,” Stede frowns, crouching down in front of him, cupping his cheek. “What are you talking about? You’re not ruining anything. I’m just sorry you’re sick.”

Ed averts his gaze, “it’s probably not a big deal. I just need a nap.”

“Okay,” Stede nods. He tucks a lock of Ed’s hair behind his ear and kisses his forehead, lips lingering a second longer than normal to try and feel for a fever. He doesn’t feel warm, and Stede is hoping it stays that way.  “Let’s start with a nap, then. Want to go back to the bedroom? I’ll be right there.”

By the time Stede makes his way into the bedroom, Ed is all settled in bed, half asleep.  When Stede walks in, he gives him a sleepy grin. 

“Thought you’d never come.”

Stede climbs into bed next to him, smiling softly as Ed immediately curls up against him.  He rests his head on Stede’s chest, draping an arm across his middle. Stede strokes Ed’s hair. “And miss an opportunity to snuggle with my best guy? Never.”

*

Ed wakes with a start, chest heaving as he glances around the room wildly. He can’t remember what he was dreaming about, but he knows that whatever it was, was enough to send him into a panic. He needs to calm down, because all it’s making him do is cough, and cough, and cough.

Stede is right there, shushing him and petting his hair until he’s finally calmed down enough to take stock of how he’s feeling. 

He feels like ass, for lack of a better word. 

His head is throbbing, pulsating in his eyes and forehead. He can feel the congestion shifting in his head, and he turns away from Stede to muffle a harsh double into the blankets.  He sniffles a few times, which triggers another rough coughing fit. He grimaces - his throat feels raw, like he’s been screaming for hours.  

“Bless you,” Stede winces, rubbing his back. “I was going to ask how you’re feeling, but I think I have my answer.”

Ed groans, burying his face in Stede’s chest. “I hate this.”

His voice is nearly gone, and talking hurts. 

He coughs a few more times, eyelids drooping as a shiver runs down his spine. He can’t remember the last time he was sick, and he had forgotten just how awful it is. 

On the bright side, now he’s with Stede and he finally doesn’t have to deal with any of this by himself.

Stede smooths Ed’s hair back, “how’s tea sound, hmm?”

“Fucking amazing,” Ed croaks, looking up at Stede.

“I want to find the thermometer, too,” he says, pressing a hand to Ed’s forehead. “You’re burning up. Let me up. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Ed forces himself up and off of Stede, a feat in and of itself. His muscles ache and protest every movement he makes, and all he wants is for whatever the hell he caught to fuck right off to where it came from. 

He flops backwards into the pillows, his lungs feel like they’re rubbing together with each cough, and they feel like they’re threatening to eject themselves from his chest. 

All he feels up to is lying here while Stede takes care of everything, and normally that would make him feel guilty, but you know what?

After all of the years he’s spent on his own, having to take care of himself and after all the years he hasn’t had anyone to lean on, he really loves being able to just lay there and not do anything. 

And he loves Stede.

[italovision]

Okay, here we go...

So I'm starting to see some weird stuff in the OFMD fandom that worries me a bit (it's not new, but...) I feel like some people take things too seriously, and that is going to be a problem later.

I get It, less than 30 minutes to tell a history in an episode may feel rushed sometimes, but hey, that is television for ya, and I think David and crew have done a great job with the time they have (better than Ted Lasso with their bloated length on later seasons). Not everything is going to make PERFECT sense at first glance, you have to think a little sometimes to try to understand why character Z did this to character X and why character W feels different now.

Look, Blackbeard and Stede are not good people, they never where, Stede left his wife and kids, that is disgusting... and Ed has done some truly awful things in his life, they are pirates for god sake, they are broken people and I feel like some people forget that bc it's a comedy and it's cute.

There's a lot of pain in there that is not spoken, and yeah, they are both hypocrites, they create drama with people for stuff that they are too quick to brush it off when it comes to each other, that is why they are so interesting as characters, and it's really boring when everyting is about ship drama or "will they have a happy ever after", yes it's a rom-com but the story is not just that.

And them there's Izzy... there's nothing I care less than ship drama in fandom, It's boring and It has the power to completly destroy a show, I don't care about that.

And yeah, characters change, LOOK AT THAT, character growth is a thing in fiction, I like Izzy as a character... but the discurse around him can be so fucking boring sometimes, like... can we talk about the fact that this "new Izzy" is just him drunk all the time pretending like he is wise but in fact he is in deep pain bc he doesn't know what do to with his feelings for Ed?

And the last episode of season 2 is next week and yes something bad is going to happen, IT'S A STORY, AND A STORY TO GO ON NEEDS CONFLICT, we have one more season to go until we end Stede and Ed tale people, so buckle up!!! just enjoy the show and stop with petty drama, It's not that deep.