#that’s one of those things that is a Vision From God yknow

[buttered-toasty]

My idea of heaven that I see

Is a slice of you staring back at me

.

.

Something quick in between larger pieces. I love when gay people are fucked up and evil and have strange gothic vibes to them.

The mascara tracks were a divinely inspired choice

[mage-ical-character-person]

You couldn’t find the staff as a Gmod asset?? 👀 ooh!

It doesn’t function like the flesh goop or the shadow goop but it’s a little similar to Puzzles when he’s at full power with the making the imaginary/fictional real.

Personally I think the demonic goop (both black and red) is/are a virus. Because…

because similarities to Niles and God Box but it’s not meme energy. And Niles and the Godbx and Eldritch Zero and Ax0l are also eye imagery. And SMG3 and SMG4 harnessing anti-memes in the Godbox is visually similar to IGBP

Now you see: virus replicate in host and do its best to find more hosts. This is true of both regular and computer viruses. So! Yeah. Here is more rambling about the virus flesh goop and the Mr Puzzles’ robot body having similarities to Clench and the error screen from WOTFI and.

also um. Friend mutual @vox-exe.

Pointing out how Karen connects to the recent themes of family really well, and Puzzles did focus test his shows on her kids. But yeah, Melony’s mom leaving and Melony repressing it so hard she forgets she even has a family until her dad shows up and does Slenderman things to her friends.

Then we have Karen and her kids, with the father absent. Based on context, probably divorce or he did something stupid and got himself killed.

There’s also the whole “Luigi Doesn’t Need Mario” episode, if we’re talking about family. But it’s very different in what it focuses on and stuff.

There’s also the fact that… there’s all this focus on family and childhood… and none of the SMGs have either of those. (Well, Four and Three have their sons but yknow) Four has had a crisis over that before.

Would be interesting to see more of him grappling with that. In addition to everything else he’s dealing with. If all this is leading up to Four.

As for Puzzles, I predictably have a lot to say.

1st: I very much believe Puzzles’ dad is still alive. After all, he doesn’t just say he’ll prove his father wrong, he says “My ‘dear’ father will finally see”

I honestly like the idea that Puzzles’ dad was a movie critic… like as a job. Telling your kid they lack “creative vision” is just oddly specific wording. Sounds critic-y. AND I love the idea that one of the critics at the beginning of the Puzzlevision Movie was Puzzles’ dad.

Secondly, we never see Puzzles’ mom. She’s not mentioned at all. Considering we’ve got Melony, whose mom left, and Karen and her kids’ absent father… could be she was similarly out of the picture in Puzzles’ life.

I’d… like to bring up this moment from WOTFI:

The shadow that approaches Little Puzzles at first is not Meggy-shaped, despite being “revealed” to be Meggy. Kid Puzzles and his dad are both depicted as shadow people. Consider the idea that this silhouette is his mom, but she left when he was too little to really remember, hence the “Who- Who are you?”

I mean.

You know?

As for if Karen knows about Puzzles interacting with her kids, I’m not sure. However I feel that if she did find out the same guy that built death trap theme park that brainwashes you was anywhere near her kids, Puzzles would be killed in a timely manner.

Considering the TV representing Swag’s trauma… maybe overhearing Puzzles’ deranged ramblings while guarding the guy is getting to him a bit. Maybe some of the stuff Puzzles says reminds him of being bullied and excluded as a kid the same way Beeg does? I don’t know. Much to think about

AGGH NEW EPISODE GREAT!!

I love Karen and her kids and I love seeing her kids interacting with the other kiddos and getting more individual development. Corey got to do a facial expression. Adorable

Eggdog how could you. How could you side with the kitties over your brother. Betrayal. Also what happened to Eggdog, JubJub, and Frankie? They just disappeared? Also where are 3 and 4. Take better care of your kids guys you’re supposed to be Guardians. Also

👀 Will we learn soon? Cool. Hints!!

Speaking of hints

New parallels just dropped

/j but really

TV? And scary eyeball demonic thing? And Swag who is supposed to be guarding Puzzles at the prison? A TV is there? To represent the childhood trauma? The childhood trauma that the weird freak man is going to be destructive about? Could have done any magic staff design and picked red one with eyeball?? Eyeball like vision? Creative vision? Puzzlevision? Desire to be seen?

eye imagery beloved

hmmm (I miss the TV man I miss him a lot)

and…

We’re just leaving experimental government scary eyeball staff on the playground for anyone to take? (Marty? Marty is apparently a sorcerer that can make a traffic pocket dimension. And Puzzles still in jail for now. Chris does a good job guarding I’m sure.)

[skitskatdacat63]

I really got home and then redecorated for like 6 hours straight. I haven't slept in 25 hours basically 😐 and the last time I slept it was like, less than 5. This is how I adjust to the timezone change LMAO

But hey at least my F1 shrine is now more complete :D I now just need to frame the poster of Nando I got at the gp, but I have no idea where to put it. I love when I have an obsession, and then I always put the "shrine" precariously balanced on the tiny shelf on my desk. So that every time I have to find something, I risk knocking everything down

[tojirights]

I absolutely love your Alastor smut! Is there anyway you can make one where your Vox’s ex and Alastor decided to somehow show off to Vox how much reader loves his c*ck more?? A special broadcast maybe?? Please keep up the great work!

a/n: i love vox but if there's one thing i love more, its making him feel inferior to alastor 😍 this is soo good. REQUESTS OPEN! 🩷

tags: 18+ smut nsfw!

vox thought alastor couldn't get any worse, there was nothing that shit-for-brains demon could do to enrage him more. that was until valentino told him that alastor had a new pretty little thing hanging on his arm. "he WHAT?!" vox's voice cracks from the sheer force he puts behind those words. valentino snickers, watching vox run to his security room.

and there you were, locked arms with that fucking deer demon, walking down the street. you looked absolutely enthralled with that fucker! "you've gotta be fucking kidding me..." he growls, static filling his vision. as if alastor can sense that they're being watched, he winks at the camera and pulls you down a more secluded path. vox puts his fist straight through the screen before pacing around the room. it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before his ears pick up that voice, that shitty radio voice.

"good evening viewers!" alastor begins, making vox's head spin around. the tvs were blank, just audio playing through them. he's about to smash the rest of them when something catches his attention. he swears he hears a familiar noise, your noises specifically. then he hears you panting, and blood rushes to his groin first and then his face. "thank you for tuning into a very special late night broadcast." alastor's voice sounds... breathier.

"what the fuck is-" vox mutters to himself before his eyes go wide. "o-oh god." you moan, sounding far too sexy. and enjoying yourself far too much. "yes alastor, fuck. that's so good." your whines play out, filling the room and vox is just about to lose it. "is alastor fucking your ex?" valentino leans against the doorframe, a smug look on his face. "you’re so tight, my dear. your cunt was made for my cock just as i was made for radio." he laughs to himself, his hands finding your hips as he fucks you over his desk.

this little plan of his was working just as intended. he asked, of course, if you'd be interested in ruffling your exes feathers a little bit and you agreed. this special broadcast was only being shown directly to vox through his security. not a single other soul would be able to hear you but vox. it sent a certain chill up your spine, knowing that he was definitely listening. every thrust of alastor's cock presses you harder into the desk, bruises sure to form later in the evening.

"that's kinda hot, yknow-" "SHUT UP VAL." vox feels as though he's about to implode, anger coursing through him in a way he's sure he's never felt. "i am going to finish him. both of them. they won't live this down."

valentino covers his mouth to stop from laughing. "it sounds like they're about to finish each other." and he was right. your breathy little moans are a dead giveaway. "please, please your cock feels so good. g-gonna cum." vox paces the room, plotting your downfall but his cock is hard as a fucking rock in his pants.

"such a good girl, you are. you sing so pretty my dear." alastor grunts, pressing the head of his cock up against your cervix before he feels you clamp down around him. with every pulse of youe orgasm, alastor follows. "cum alastor, p-please fill my pussy." you gasp, riding out wave after wave of deep pleasure. vox should turn this off, he should walk away but he can't make his feet move.

and after alastor finishes deep inside of you, filling you to the point of it leaking down his cock, he lets out an almost sinister chuckle. "thank you my loyal viewers for tuning in for this one of a kind show! we hope you thoroughly enjoyed."

the room is silent after the broadcast ends. that is, until velvette clears her throat. "was that alastor fucking your bitch?" she raises a brow, a slow smirk spreading over her lips when she sees vox's face.

"no one talk to me. i have business to attend to." and with that, vox disappears, leaving valentino and velvette to themselves.

"bold move, i gotta hand it to him."

[sinning-23]

please please please do different arcane/opla character's kinks???? (preferably some Jayce but yk-)

OMG I was just returning to arcane roots. Mind you I haven't seen the recent season (Im waiting for my mom and sister since we all watched dit together) UHH take these smutty lil kinky lil headcanona!

P.s For as much smut as i write I have the hardest time remembering the differences between kinks and fetishes BUT I think I got it down lol. Bare with me yall.

P.P.S. I'll make a part two with some more of these guys lol I started to draw a blank on a few and get burnt out but I want to provide QUALITY writing to y'all

Enjoy-

Silco

Yknow every time I come on this god forsaken app I find myself thirsting over dead midleages if not older men....

Ahem

Smoking and Begging I feel like would be two kinks of his. And like he already is a smoker so just translating that over to the bedroom....oof.

I feel like he's the type to smoke after or before, but like in a way that relaxes him even further? YK what I'm saying? Perhaps he'll even offer you some with a firm grip on your face while he blows smoke into your mouth, just before he kisses you.

I also think the begging gets him hot under the collar. Just the idea of his partner asking so desperately for release knowing he's in control of whether they're allowed to or not really does it for him. He's ruthless but sweet in the most deliciously contradicting way. Saying things like, " Begging is so unbecoming of you my dear," or "You can beg better than that, I thought you wanted to cum?"

Sevika

Sevika my belovedddddd <3 come home baby the kids miss you lmao. Sevika seems like the type to be down for a lot but also has her limits? One thing that really gets her going though is overstim/multiple orgasms. Please let her pull as many as she can from you its literally her favorite thing watching her partner come undone. She likes to see how messy you get and how your thighs tremble and shake, damn near tensing up from the strain.

She starts slow. Maybe two...then three more.....how bout we shoot for 4 to 5? SIx you say?! Alright, let's just say fuck it and go for 7.

"C'mon, you can give me one more. Thatssss it, let go."

Vander

This is a harworking, loving, family man okay. He doesn't have time for a lot...However, he definitely has time to just have you squeeze down on him with those hot, wet walls, simply existing. Ahhh yes the art of cockwarming in cwich he is an expert in. Hes a sneaky fucker too, taking time to just position you in front of him so he can slip his cock into you, just enjoying your warmth. No movement, just there, your back to his chest, pretending like nothing is happening behind the counter.

He especially enjoys the late nights, your bodies melted into one as you just sinkkkkk down on him, just adjusting to his length, fighting the urge to move as does he. Just that's part of the fun. Expect lots of soft gentled caresses as yout walls memorize him

Vi

Babygirls got a thing for hot chicks in uniform. Be in business attire, military, or otherwise, she loves it.

I mean, honestly, I was not hot about clean white button-downs tucked into fancy dress pants adorned by emblems of silver or gold. A nice neat hairstyle, no flyaways, very much office siren.

And please god don't let you have a snappy domineering attitude, telling her what to do, sexily taunting. Babygirl will be weak in the knees.

Jinx

I don’t think she’d have any kinks if I’m being honest. I see Jinx as a very experimental and fun but soft and vanilla lover. She enjoys being treated softly and gentle, especially in a moment of vulnerability like being intimate with a partner.

Viktor

I hate to be the one to say it but stalkings/knee highs and glasses… Yall HEAR ME OUTTT HEAR ME OUT! I know that sounds really bad but if you see the vision. I feel like Viktor is a lover of pretty things, patterns and decoration. The feeling of lace or tights under his fingertips, the thrill of being the one who gets to remove your glasses before you go down on him.

All is truly a treat in his pretty yellow eyes. Especially when it's his beloved and devoted partner. He takes his time with you treating you delicately as he pulls the fabric off your kneesocks away to reveal pretty legs he gets to you all the way up to the main prize. He likes taking his time unwrapping his gifts. His favorite part is discarding it all from your body. Or at the very least, making you do it.

"Strip." He hums, leaning forward as you shed layers of clothes with a smile.

Ekko

At first I was thinking that mmm Ekko doesn't have any really kinks. Maybe he’s more vanilla but then I got thinking…

Nah nah this guy..

He likes being bitten.

Oddly enough he wasn’t sure why when you had first done it on impulse, the two of you in one of your more intimate moments. You hand grazed his shoulder, only applying slight pressure before stopping yourself from going too hard but the sound it pulled form him. Gorgeous.

“D-Do it again. Please?” He asks, lifting a bit above your too see your glossed fucked our eyes.

“Bite you?” You reiterate, trying to read him and it’s nothing but pure lust and adoration.

“Baby, please.” He huffs, lulling his neck to the side, giving you access.

Please mark him up he really likes it.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[poorlemons]

My friends and I have been thinking of your Clear Image AU a bit more than is healthy.

Does Michael have any lingering identity crisis from the Distortion along with her egg cracking? like is there "Am I really me?" Teletransportation thought experiment crisis stuff going on there?

also does she change her name or still go by Michael?

Also your Helen is really pretty

oh these are good questions!! makes me think, yknow?

ok identity crisis. I think something of the sort definitely lingers with her, those sorts of doubts that rear their head during her worst moments when she's exhausted and confused. It does come back then. The confusion and the weird out of body experience and memories of her body doing things but it wasn't her, even as bits of her bled into it and fed its anger. Its definitely something that's there when she first escapes the distortion. But i honestly don't think it would be this ever present feeling. Her existence is so fundamentally different than the Distortions that it is so clear to her that she is not It, and that entity doesn't linger in her. I think she'd find it laughable (but not in a fun laugh sort of way) if someone were to suggest its still with her. She's free and she can feel it in her very being. Well, i guess she might have a different brand of identity crisis. She is Michael Shelley, but who is Michael Shelley anymore? Michael Shelley was a man who lived, was lied to, and whos truth was ripped from his very being and replaced with some fucked up fear entity. But now she's not, she is alive, and she has to pick of the pieces and rediscover what it means to be Michael. She's herself again but god is that a disorienting experience when you spent so long being anything but.

something something the eyeopening, beautiful experience of rediscovering yourself as you transition. She's like a butterfly finally reemerging from her goo state. And no I don't think she changes her name. I'm bad at picking out names and i just like Michael!! I think it fits her, she's always Michael to me. Maybe she gets a nickname or something but like, i think she likes it. The Distortion may have tainted it but she doesn't want to let it win, she's Michael. Not it. Because I think she does have that fire of anger still buried in her chest, and she can and will be petty about it. (thanks :) I love Helen so much, I haven't really posted any of my doodles of her but she's very dear to me. silly lady, absolute queen)

I think, one of her big issues that's a direct byproduct of housing the Distortion for so long is like... physical struggles. Remember that thing about the Distortions bones and them all being either non existent or in its hands? I think that'd leave her feeling very strange and achy. Her joints click and hurt and are both too stuff and too loose. Her hands are constantly shaking and generally she can't walk straight very easily anymore. Plus, her vision has only gotten worse and she has a pretty bad astigmatism now, that girl is getting chunky glasses. Michael has people around to to help her as she adjusts, though, and I've been pondering ways for her to manage it. It probably won't ever go away but she has ways to live around it.

Get her a T-shirt that says "i survived being the Distortion and all I got was chronic pain"

[jumping-joey1104]

Ej hcs?

Love him, for me EJ is more demonic. I first really started learning about him when people made him more demonic than just a normal grey dude in a mask with bad eating habits.

EJ HEADCANONS

Ok, like I said further up, EJ is more demonic to me. Having Digitrade like legs and more claws. One of my favorite headcanons is that he can be very… uncanny.

EJ himself is uncanny, he gives off human, he looks human, acts human. But there’s just something…. Off yknow? Other than the werewolf legs and razor sharp teeth.

Whenever he isn’t wearing his mask (that thing needs cleaned and fix so often, but it’s still more rare to see him without his mask) he keeps his eyes closed. Without actual eye balls behind his eyelids his eyes are a lot more sunken in. And whenever he opens them that black tar drips out much faster because of build up.

Speaking of his eyes, his vision is there (gods know why??) but it’s very similar to having very bad cataracts. Everything is so blurry for him that he depends on scent and echolocation to find stuff.

With a hand over their mouth they could only pray that their heavy breathing was stifled enough. They didn’t even know who they were praying too, after tonight they didn’t know if there was a god that could hear them. The sound of feet hitting the ground makes them jump as a tall figure appears in front of them with his back turned, sniffing the air before smiling. He could smell them… with a grin under the bloody mask the being makes a clicking noise with his tongue. The blue mask looking around the area before getting closer and closer before it meet the persons face with a final click.

That kinda thing, pretty scary huh?

But one thing this guy is desperate for is something human, not for dinner. He craves his own humanity like a wounded child craves their parents. The thought of even looking in the mirror makes him go into a silent rage.

To EJ he’s still human, all those people he’s eaten and torn apart like paper… those are just bad dream. He forces himself into a delusion that it’s all just a bad dream, even though he remembers every part. He’s just a college kid with bad dreams.

He’s so desperate for that humanity that he’ll grip onto anything that reminds him of that. Normal food makes him sick, too sweet too salty. He can’t eat anything other than meat without wanting to throw up. But he still does it, remembering the morning he’d stop by the local coffee shop before classes for a bagel and coffee as he forces himself to swallow down what tastes like mud and spoiled milk.

Like I said earlier, he’s a very uncanny person. I like to head canon that he can dislocate his jaw if he needs to. Making sickening pops as the victim sees the sharp teeth lining his mouth. Sometimes he’ll hunch over with teeth bared. Not like a dog, but like a cat. While dogs are more prone to pounce and bite, EJ is one to slice people to shreds with his claws.

But he’s still a gentle giant (when he isn’t hungry). Those that he sees as friends quickly become family, even if he doesn’t say it he’ll put his life on the line to give his friends a chance to survive. He has nothing else to live for if he loses them.

He only has a few items he treats the same way, audio books he’s snagged and listened to over and over again. CDs filled with music from god knows where. I like to think that he still likes flowers, the scent of them in spring. He has bundles of dried flowers and weeds in his room. Falling apart with every touch but he keeps them, not wanting to give up that little bit of peace he has.

Everything that he’s had to let go of is covered in claw marks.

[b0red-b1rds]

Y'all, I had an idea (kinda)

So, my older brother and I were discussing the presence of Aloy in Genshin Impact and the implications of that.

If Aloy could visit Teyvat, couldn't other characters also show up in Teyvat? I mean, the Traveler is just one of several such visitors, so it's possible.

Now, that got us thinking... who would be an awesome addition to Genshin Impact? What would their roles be, what would they do?

And brother, we had some pretty funny ideas.

Can you imagine, if you please, Kratos from God of War appearing in Teyvat? Likely a Bifrost incident, leaving him temporarily stranded in a strange world where gods... live among their people? Mind boggling.

And picture him meeting those gods! A drinking competition with Venti! (Venti would lose, let's be real here.)

Sharing stories with Zhongli, bonding over how both were once masters of war, and now they both live peacefully among people!

Perhaps a sparring session with Ei! While he'd certainly beat her seven ways to Sunday even without his weapons, he'd be able to frame it as a chance for her to improve her martial skills. It's sparring, it's training, not a true battle.

Oh, he'd totally carry Nahida on his shoulders if asked. I wouldn't be surprised if she reminds him of his first kid, yknow? He'd also appreciate just how eager she is to learn about everything. Definitely able to bring a new perspective on things.

Kratos would not like Furina at first. Too dramatic, too high and mighty, acts why too much like the gods he knew. But when word gets to him about the prophecy and all she's done to keep her people safe... well, I don't think anyone could stay mad at her for long, not even him.

(Kratos, as a playable character, would have a Geo vision. Can't convince me otherwise.)

Not only that, another good crossover character would be... Alucard from Castlevania! Dude is insanely strong, has so many cool abilities, and his dry sense of humor would be an amazing addition.

Not only that, but his looks would cause him so much trouble.

Just imagine the Traveler wandering around doing some commissions when suddenly someone comes running up yelling, "I found your sibling!"

Only for the "sibling" to be a very confused dhampyr who is quite certain he doesn't have any brothers or sisters.

(Alucard is either a Cryo or a Hydro sword user, can't change my mind).

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

CHILDHOOD FRIEND JOHN IS SUCH AN INTERESTING AU!!!

you gave me ammunition, and I'm gonna use it on you

First thing that comes to my mind - the idiots met when they were Children.

We know how adult Arthur goes about authority, imagine what newly-orphaned angry and depressed teenager Arthur was like. I bet he was so so so much worse about having a demanding voice in his head. Acting out just because he could and needed to, And because he has to rival this voice in his head.

This AU makes John go through such an interesting arc from being someone who has to take care of child, while being unprepared and irresponsible himself (does this remind you of anyone. Does It?) to being cared for right back. This single thought makes me go insane.

It would also be very interesting for the entire Arthur and Saltzmans' story? Cause one of the reasons John doesn't want Arthur close to people is that he knows they have a target on their backs, and he doesn't like them or Arthur getting hurt. However Arthur's romance with Bella happened, it was very likely against John's entire... everything. I think he was fighting tooth and nail to keep it from evolving any further.

Also, Daniel! Who is the (1) authority figure Arthur recognises. That would absolutely drive John mad xD

(btw I'm not trying to be mean to John, it's just this is the only feasible way I can see him reacting to this, and I view it as a... big longterm fight the boys had. not John trying to be mean, or denying Arthur other connections, he was just overly cautions and in a situation where Arthur utterly ignored his wishes and denied agency, so he was..understandably upset about this.

which leads me to my personal conclusion, that in this au, John would have taken Arthur's position in that bar. aka, I think John would have gone for trying to jump ship over the whole marriage disaster. And then Arthur did the most stupid and mature thing he has ever done, and came back to the hospital to get Faroe handed to him. (then the idiots get injected with high dose of paternal love and it's all fine now)

this is just a personal variation tho, I had a wonderful time reading your vision and I adore what you've shared in that oneshot. thank you for the gift of childhood john friend. I'm gonna be microwave-spinning him for a while.

YES!! YES YES YES!!! (for some (unfortunately minimal) context childhood friend john is the au from this fic, tl;dr arthur picks up john as a kid/young teen and they go through basically the whole show together pre-america/bella/faroe)

oh god yes they made each other SO miserable for the first like, several years of their partnership lmao. i sort of gesture at this vaguely in the fic but like, they were both so scared and lost and angry all the time with no ability to regulate those feelings and just so happened to have an unwilling participant to take all of them out on who literally couldn't get away. it was Not Fun For Anyone. arthur hated having to listen to him, john had zero patience for his Moods™, neither of them had a single thing outside the other to escape to, it was a real problem. relatedly the whole "soul learning to walk" thing kinda gets real funny in this 'verse bc arthur is. also still very young. it gets real "wait why are YOU ordering me around i'm OLDER" "NO you are NOT I'M OLDER" slapfight lmao.

but! yknow! they still both can't survive without cooperating so they kinda had no choice but to figure their shit out regardless.

...actually re: their childhood together, one thing i have been thinking about is that like. i did say the events of the show were gonna be edited pretty heavily to fit the timeline, and one part of it is i don't think the dreamlands or yellow were ever a thing? BUT. what i was thinking MIGHT be fun, is if they learn early on what john is/comes from, and he goes through a period of wanting to go back to being the king (but ultimately changes his mind before actually getting presented with the chance.) and also it takes a while for them to get to The Events that lead to him getting named john, i think. so i think for a while there arthur was calling him yellow. (then post-their equiv. of the s2 finale he goes back to just "friend" for a bit, due to lack of better options, until they pick "john" up)

oh yeah the fucking... Everything with bella was something john was very against and tried to stop and got steamrolled over about, it was all very fucked up. bc like, i think atp he and arthur are on better terms, but arthur was also so isolated and insanely desperate for human connection that it made him. very irrational. john could probably also tell that he didn't actually love bella, and maybe that bella wasn't all that crazy about him either, and whatever they were getting from each other was not a foundation for anything serious or long-lasting, so was trying to pull him away on that grounds, too. like, on top of the paranoia, he was also like "you don't even want this, i think you're half just using it to hurt yourself for not measuring up to some social standard and that's not fair to you OR her." but. again. arthur was not doing a very good job of Listening.

i actually think there's like, a solid 50/50 chance, dependent mostly on how character arcs play out, that john is the one advocating for jumping ship vs. him being the one to go "no you made your choices, i gave you every chance to stop, now we're going to have to take responsibility for the consequences." either way that convo goes... probably better than the one with james in canon. just bc they know each other well enough to know what will actually get through without just sending them on a guilt/doom spiral. more "regardless of how we feel, we can't just run away from this" and much less "wtf is wrong with you, you're fundamentally broken and unlovable for not feeling the way you're Supposed To." yknow.

...and yeah, then they actually pick up faroe for the first time and all of that goes instantly out the window. cancel everything else no more personal crises no time for that we have discovered the one (1) thing that actually matters in our life.

[percexe]

time 2 ramble about forgotten realms au aka my bg3 au thats just me changing around lore it will live under the cut

tldr i love dead three

the main thing i wanted to change for fr/bg3 rewrite au whatever you call it is how weirdly out of place bane feels among the dead three. murder and necromancy? yeah those are sufficiency death-like. TYRANNY? YOUVE LOST ME. i say this with all the love for forgotten realms (well mostly)

there’s also kelevmor, who is ALSO a death god but weirdly separate from the dead three situation. i believe jergal was a scribe for him, but yknow. shrug. so i just swapped bane out for an alternate version of kelevmor, then used it to put more emphasis on how the dead three are gods who share one domain split among them. so their whole situation changed to look more like this:

jergal was the original god of death, but when three adventurers came to him seeking glory, he split his domain into three parts: the road to death, meeting death + dying, and the road after death. kelevmor, bhaal, and myrkul.

bhaal and myrkul stay relatively the same; the biggest change is with kelevmor. because he becomes the scribe of the dead, essentially acting like the fates in greek mythology, cataloging the length of each mortal life and recording the exact time and situation fate has decided they will die. from this his domain extends to ideas of control and fate, and is often prayed to by rulers and people in power (anyone who knows their leadership could send people “on the road to death” essentially. kelevmor knows the feeling of holding hundreds of lives in your hand, and the weight it has).

kelevmor is a very solitary god- his task of eternally recording mortal life and death keeps him busy- and very few are actually devoted to him. he has very few priests and clerics, and likely has only had a couple of chosen since he became a god. but the especially faithful are given a blessing: the knowledge of how exactly theyre going to die. it was intended as a test of faith (something something accept the death kelevmor has written for you) but in the wrong hands this can be a bombshell

THIS IS WHERE BG3 AND SPECIFICALLY GORTASH COME IN THIS AU. gortash in regular bg3 is already exceedingly independent- there's a stark contrast between him and bane compared to ketheric and myrkul + orin/durge and bhaal- so swapping his faith from bane to au kelevmor is an easy swap. its also a very PROFITABLE situation, since gortash in this KNOWS when he's going to die. sure, its a bad deal, having a bunch of adventurers kill him (smile for the camera durge haima) but gortash didnt seek this foresight to go along with what fate wants, nor does he care about what fate wants At All. he likely sought the chosen of kelevmor position to learn this, and this is how we see his independence turn to actively working against the god he claims to worship.

to me gortash is such an interesting character when viewed through the lens of someone wholly selfish and driven by power, instead of another gods chosen doing whatever said god wants. the concept of hubris is practically sewn into the dramatic ass outfit he prances around in, and whats filled with more hubris than using a gods power to start a fake cult? he found out when hes going to die, so he used that vision to seek out the person destined to kill him to deal with the problem early, attempting to dodge death itself. but we all know gortash gets kicked off his hubris pillar thanks to the party and this plan does crumble (and he does indeed meet the death he tried to avoid anyway. master oogway one often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it)

anywho this is like a fraction of the insane lore i have just bouncing around my skull like a dvd screensaver i enjoy talking about it

[ampersand-antics]

I've finally gotten my hands on totk and. Oh gods. This game sure is something

Cue Atari Rant Mode ig?

!!! SPOILERS FOR TOTK AND UNHINGED RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT !!!

What the fuck is that gloom thing with the eyes and the hand and the puddle it grabbed me I am terrified help please someone kill it for me

I am constantly hypervigilant for those things whenever I'm out in the overworld.

Also every single time a tree ends up being not-a-tree? I get so surprised. Like dude I am fully aware that was a thing that could happen why does it scare me so much I swear I jump like a mile each time.

Um let's see. I've played through the Rito quest line, I'm halfway through the Zora one (climbing up the skyslands now), I've gotten the first four tear visions and I've visited Kakariko, Hateno, and a bit into Faron and Eldin outside of quests.

Tulin is so baby I love him so much <333 my child now.

They gave Sidon a wife. How fucking dare they pop the bubble of every sidlink shipper. That man is fruity as fuck. Yknow what from now on I hc he's in a poly relationship with Link.

Also zelda gets so much characterization in this game omg. The school the garden her journal and her diary I'm going to cry I'm so in love with her. Also the zelink here is so heavily implied! I love it! I'm a hard-core botw zelink shipper

The fact that this has to fo with THE IMPRISONING WAR??? WERE FIGHTING THE DEMON KING HIMSELF???? LIKE THE OG??? DOES THIS MEAN THE CYCLE WILL BE BROKEN??? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE TIMELINE!!!!!!!!! IM SO FUCKIN HYPED OMG

Also all the Zonai lore we're getting. Amazing. I love them. I wanna fuck Rauru. Like I know I don't normally like men but *him*. And also Sonia but she was a given, I knew that from the start. Also Rauru? Hella gender envy

Look forward to pt 2 of this next time I have More Thoughts :P

[girlsharpenedtoapoint]

my thoughts on corn (everything sings)

it is the lethargy-tar, late summer of my 18th year. i step outside, and the wind blows branches like waves, carrying the cold-numb, sand-slow, ocean-deaf air of the distant coast. previously occupied by a bovine clan, the field around my house is now a great wall of corn. at times, its stagnancy—its great scalp-thick redundancy—can make one feel a tad boxed in. but on days like this, when godly sighs and guffaws drape yon earth, it is more a comfort than a curse.

wind caresses the field, and the blood-close corn sways in unison, a ripple of a stone that stretches out on the unconquerable starch-yellow ocean. from above, it really is mesmerizing. each gust sends a fresh surge through the field, the stalks undulating with a fluid, inhuman grace, as if the earth itself were breathing in gentle, rolling waves. yet, there is a distinct uniformity that the ocean doth lack. the stalks bend in waves more like the thick waist of a faithful acolyte than the complete dissolution of a foamy shore.

admiring this living bundle, i come to the (constant) realization that everything is really just the same thing—atomical structure be damned. for when i lay on my stomach in the tall grass, and my vision becomes a minute thing, it moves nearly identical to the corn. a bit more alive, yes—a twitchy, disjointed, bug staccato of movement—but the same nonetheless. because fundamentally, we are all the same thing that simply got off at different stops in the 7-day advent of creation.

and what is creation, was it not just God, a thick kaleidoscopic parchment betwixt his lonely fingers, tearing and folding in The Greatest Desperation? though, i've said before—he is not so careless... yet if he was, i think i understand abstract art just a tad more. and if that is all we are, our birth a desperate cliff-side clutch, he really did make us in his image. shout out to mom and dad.

my mind turns to angels (to my oldest sibling, his only glimpse of our father a monthly check), and i desperately, gore-ily, wish to know how they feel. physically and creatively sterile. bound like a train on a train track. rooted in the ground and over freeways, holy transmission towers for higher beings of free will, singing, singing. defined by that purpose. existing only in the capacity of the tracks. and i wonder if they were a first attempt. did god make himself circuit boards of intelligence? and did he weep when they did not cure his isolation? so he gave us free will—the power of creation, 'in his image'—in hopes we'd be different.

then, are angels the torn pieces of paper? i don't know. but it makes me feel just a bit better about the rising a.i. maybe if he’d written that part down—his firstborn—we would not be making the same mistake. (or at least we'd have a road map) the same desperate clutch of a people in the great vacuum of space. something, something, the fermi paradox.

but here, in this moment, beneath the swaying stalks and the breathing earth, i find solace. yknow, even if we are just fragments of a lonely God’s experiment, there is beauty in our movement, our thoughts, our creation. the cornfield, the grass, the angels—they all sway to the same wind. wind doesn't make any sound on its own, only when it touches something else is its existence made audible. like the angels, it is defined by its interactions, its impact on the world around it. without something to move, it is silent, invisible, without form or consequence.

and perhaps, that’s what we are. God’s wind made audible, searching for something to give us shape, to make us known. his breath given form, making sound only when we touch, move, and exist within this world. every word we speak an interpretation of Him. in the vast silence of the universe, it is our choices, our connections, our creations that make us real. so, i try to listen closely—to the corn, the grass, the wind, and to the echoes of creation. for in those sounds, i think i've found the proof that we are more than just desperate clutches in the void. we are the echoes of something divine, even if we’re still figuring out what that means.

[daekie-gw2]

i was putting this in the tags but it got so long that it was basically an entire post anyway so. okay. listen to me. hear me out:

I know Champions was bad. I know Champions was really, really, agonizingly bad, and because they dripfed it to us over months you never got used to it because UGH. GOD. NEW SUPPLY MISSION. every 3 weeks or whatever and it just was not fun. You were always being freshly reminded of how bad Champions was. The character writing is bad (No asura except Taimi has basically anything to say about Primordus, and she's portrayed as basically just being ridiculously hysterical about it?? They've been smoothing her down over time but it was real bad here.), DRMs were fucking miserable, I think DRM CMs are still bugged, and Dragonstorm is Okay but there's only so many times you can watch Jormag puke in their brother's mouth and hear CHAMPION!! HELP ME!! THIS POWER!! IT'S TOO WILD!! before you're just going BenAffleckWithACigarette.png about the whole shebang. IN THE MEANTIME, FIRE ALAR[sniper rifle shot rings out. i crumple bonelessly to the ground]

Here is the thing. Here is the horrible truth I realized when I did Seasons of the Dragons:

The rest of Icebrood Saga was good. (Cut for length. I, uh, I kinda went on about this & about why I think SotO is so bad. Sorry. I have strong thoughts and feelings. When I said 'length', by the way, I meant it,)

Grothmar is a fuckin killer start to the story. It's fun!! It's a great looking map and it has a good story chapter and the Metal Legion part of the meta kicks ass. This release also introduced Strike Missions, aaand admittedly the first one was Shiverpeaks Pass, which is barely a Strike (it's barely anything, you can get gold time on it with eight healers and nothing else), but yknow what? Strikes are good, I stand by that.

After Grothmar we move onto Bjora Marches, which I will freely admit kind of sucks to play. Masteries are bad. The events are repetitive. Storms of Winter also sucks to play if people on the map are incompetent. Light puzzles hate you personally. But even with all of that taken into account, East Bjora is still my favorite map in the game from an atmospheric & story level. The Pact soldiers who wander out into the cold and never come back? The ones who just mutter to themselves near the horrifyingly mauled bodies of their friends? Jormag actively gaslighting everyone involved in the whole situation? The fact it's the only map in the game where events being the exact same every time is actively called out because you are canonically trapped in a loop and you keep forgetting?? Bright Shore's entire little sidequest? The boneskinner jumpscares where you go THAT'S AN NPC I CAN INTERACT WITH TO START AN EVENT -- Check your minimap. There's no emblem there. No it's not :) The scare chords when it just shows up to look at you spookily!! The fraenir cutscene where Jormag talks through his broken body!! I'm not going to say that west Bjora is like, good either, but it's still Fine. These releases also brought us the other 2/3rds of the EZ3 IBS Strikes, Boneskinner (man. how was this in the same release as those two.), and Whisper of Jormag.

I actually don't really have a lot to say about Visions of the Past: Steel and Fire, it's very much a weird stopgap HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW WE BROUGHT BACK LWS1 FIGHTS AS INSTANCES GO CHECK THEM OUT thing, but my toxic trait is that I am deeply endeared by Forging Steel. Everyone in that warband is so fucking weird and it's fundamentally charming. Ranoah has like two braincells to rub together but she's having a GREAT time. (This release also brought the legendary ring Conflux and the legendary amulet Transcendence to the game!) Oh, yeah, and this was also the episode that had Eye of the North release as a hub, that was good, can't forget that.

AAAND THEN WE GET TO DRIZZLEWOOD. Drizzlewood Coast my fucking beloved I could play this thing for loops on end. I really, really like the gameplay of South Drizzlewood, it's all the stuff I like about WvW. This gave us Waystations! We like waystations. They're good. The 'unlocking missions via documents' is clearly padding but honestly it's fun padding so who give a shit, not me. South Drizzlewood released without voice acting because it was mid-first surge of COVID and it was still incredible. All the Charr ambient dialogue is wonderful! I'm haunted by the fact Ryland is canonically really sexy by Charr standards. "Look around! You're killing your own! You don't want this, I know you don't!" vs Vishen at Wolf's Crossing made me so insane I wrote a fic about it and even now I want to gnaw it like a dog with a chewtoy, as someone with an older Charrmander it fuckin hits. AND THE FACT A BUNCH OF THE CACHE KEEPERS ARE FROM CHARR PERSONAL STORY. ARWARAWRAWRA. Also Cold War was in here but that strike is so fundamentally Whatever honestly. I like it but did you know ONE BY ONE, I'LL RAZE YOUR RANKS (why didn't they give her more generic voice lines.)

North Drizzlewood's story is Fine. Gameplay is a downgrade but still honestly pretty fun, I like the Claw coming back for a last hurrah. This is where they really had to start figuring out 'oh fuck how do we 1. introduce Primordus as active in this plot, 2. kill Primordus, and 3. start working towards the Cantha expansion narratively by the end of next episode' and you can kind of tell: Memories of Otter are Not Good and this also brought Charged Stormcaller weapons which are Not Good.

And Then We Had Champions.

And Champions sucked so bad and was so frustratingly bad that it retroactively made everyone remember the entirety of Icebrood Saga as REALLY TERRIBLE. Which it was not! I'm sorry! It was solid! But we got like three story steps every two months, a few boring-as-hell Dragon Response Missions, the dragonslayer weapons [hissing in disgust] -- the writing was not good (Canach what did they fucking do to you. They flanderized that man. Where is John DiMaggio.) and the entire gameplay loop was just 'farm DRMs. That's it. That's all your new content. They're not even new maps.' At least these added a bunch of basically-free Mastery Points but... cmon, man. (I think Champions also added the Central Tyria exploration mastery points? That was good.)

And then... SotO. Which had so much potential and has completely failed to meet any of it.

tl;dr here are my Takes on SotO because it got so much longer than it should have been, so if you don't want to read a really sloppy essay (some of these I don't even go into in said "essay" for length reasons):

I'm almost completely sure that the writers do not have any sort of world or lore bible, aren't even bothering to check the wiki, and it shows.

Zojja got character assassinated (as did the asura in general) & her narrative role would be much better filled by Caithe or even potentially Logan. There's nothing about her here that means she specifically needs to be Zojja, & in fact there are several points where her being Zojja is detrimental. She's probably 1. here because they wanted a familiar face for players going coregame > SotO for Skyscale and 2. amnesiac because that way she can't reference past expansions, but she really doesn't need to be here.

The Astral Ward are written in a kind of creepy way, which the narrative had some interest with engaging in at release and then decided Nope They're Good Guys And Joining Them Is Good And Has No Downsides.

All the postlaunch content drops feel like they went directly from draft > game with no revisions done in between. There's a lot of roughness that could be a lot smoother if they'd gone through actual drafting.

Why are the Kryptis monsters? They're written completely like normal people. You could have just made them humanoids in Oneiros armor and said 'the ones attacking Tyria have specifically chosen to look that way' but no. Almost complete lack of unique models & even humanoid models, Peitha is pulling a Fantasy Race Sexy Woman (I love her but like. C'mon.)

Why are we Peitha's bff?? Why don't we have a single ounce of doubt in her?? Why is her cause being portrayed as completely good and cool and heroic?? You're better than this, GW2.

The Commander is not a player insert or a mute protagonist. Up until now the GW2 story has given them consistent characterization and writing -- they have a lot to say about things! In SotO, especially postlaunch, they're halfway to being a mute protagonist and they're really, really passive. They're just acting on whatever the Good Heroic NPC tells them to do.

Half the material we're being fed narratively has no actual basis in the map itself or anywhere else. It feels awkward and clunky.

Even mechanically it struggles. Difficulty in SotO isn't based on mechanics or timing, it's just giving monsters more HP and making them do more damage.

As opposed to prior 'bad writing' GW2 content where there was at least enough to work with, if you want to make a coherent story out of this for your Commander you really have to rewrite half the expansion.

Where's the Commander's gaggle of twentysomething-fortysomething disaffected adults!! They need those!!

Skyscale/Griffon flying buffs were good, though, I love the updraft usage & Skyscale being siege now is nice.

I want SotO to be good so, so bad, and I'm deeply frustrated that it isn't. It doesn't feel like GW2 narratively after the core release, and I'm saying this as someone who adores Skywatch and spent hours exploring it launch week and who was really optimistic after finishing the launch content. It just feels bad.

FIRST OFF. Zojja. The current writers' room ever since EoD has fucking hated asura and cannot stop dunking on how backwards they are compared to Cantha technologically (THEY HAVE SATELLITES!! THEY'VE HAD SATELLITES!!). They've also done character assassination on Gorrik and Taimi (Gorrik moreso. That man was Inquest. He got arrested for bioterrorism and he'd do it again. He incubated a beetle under his skin!) and they've, uh -- I wrote an entire section on this and deleted it because it's not SotO relevant but trust me I have Strong Feelings on this front.

Asura society is a meritocracy. They might be a little ableist but Zojja would absolutely not be a pariah post-HoT, everyone'd be banging on her door. Which would be one thing if her journals portrayed it like that and that she was 100% isolating herself, but that's... not really what's in there! There's also the implication that the Commander and none of her friends really bothered checking up on her at all after a bit, which. That sucks. That really really sucks. Especially for Taimi, because Taimi would not have coped well with Zojja disappearing after HoT, that's her parental-slash-mentor figure.

Her character writing in SotO, especially after becoming a Wizard, is... I dunno who that is, man. That's not Zojja. Even if you were an Asura commander, she was not your bestie, she was a bitch! And I loved her for that but the point remains! If you weren't an Asura commander you really did not hang out with her basically ever. Why are you her missing BFF now? They could've excused this if it was written well enough, you can really excuse anything, but It's Not. Her also willingly going through wizardification is rough. You telling me she didn't think about Snaff at all? Again: who is this Asura? Because based on everything we know about Zojja's personality and feelings and behavior, this ain't her. And then they basically just wrote all the wizards out of the story when we went to Nayos anyway so like... why was she here?? Prerelease promotional content was like SHE'S GONE THROUGH SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OFFSCREEN AND SHE'S SO INTEGRAL TO YOUR STORY HERE. Is she. Did she. What expansion were you playing, it was not the one that came out. (My reigning theory is that they didn't bother actually reading up on her personality/history beyond a two-sentence briefing, because giving her amnesia means that for any players who go basegame>SotO she's 1. a familiar face, since Destiny's Edge is your basegame companion party and 2. can't reference your past adventures, because she's forgotten.) Do we go 'hey, Zojja, I think erasing all your memories both good and bad to become a wizard is probably kind of a rash decision'? No we go 'Zojja I'll support you whatever option you take :)' and treat her doing this like an unambiguously good thing.

You know who would've made for a deeply compelling wizard in that character slot? Caithe. Caithe is isolated from the Sylvari and from just about everyone. She hangs out with the Crystal Bloom, but with Aurene going into hibernation for who knows how long... her job's done. Her daughter's asleep and may not wake up within Caithe's lifetime. The world doesn't need her anymore. She's already established to be prone to making rash decisions that make her look really, really bad to us because we don't get to hear the context -- having her just ghost everyone and become a wizard would work. And if she ascends? She'll still be alive when Aurene wakes up. She's basically been completely irrelevant since LWS4 even with her occasional cameos, the Commander's doing 95% of the 'Champion of Aurene' work. She and Rytlock are the GW2 characters. Logan could also work! Logan went through the same shit as Zojja in HoT and he struggles with his identity and his dedication to the Queen! He's a Guardian, he already uses magic! Logan Thackeray who, apparently.

Smarter people than me have written on the Astral Ward but they're... deeply kind of culty and the game is just not interested in examining this at all after the base content drop. The Astral Ward is Good. Isgarren might be a jerk sometimes but even he is Good. They're The Good Guys. When you join the Ward you can't go home again, except you literally can, we see a bunch of existing NPCs who are apparently leading double lives. They put real people into the fractals as test subjects! There's some interesting writing on that in Skywatch! But after the base drop that's just. Gone.

Mabon dies unceremoniously without even a cutscene after you've known the guy for like three hours. I don't have anything else to say on that but man. He deserved better. I'd say something about his husband friend Lyhr but Lyhr basically just disappears after the first two maps so WHO KNOWS. (Literally what is Lyhr's deal, I don't think they even actually really go into it, he can just. Do that? Split into two? The game feels like it expects you to understand What He's Doing and that it's a Thing He Can Do. Is it??? What is he doing. It's deeply fascinating! Please tell me! I genuinely want to know!)

And then we hit all the post-first release story/content drops, and this is where things get substantially worse, because up to this point SotO has had promise. There's space for it to tell a really fascinating story. It's struggling with character writing & trying to nostalgiabait & feels a little mechanically rushed (I wish the Kryptis had different animations from the rigs they reuse :( ) but, like, it's got potential.

And Then It Doesn't. Suddenly, immediately, we are Fully On Board With Peitha, who's been a voice in our head who told us not to tell people about her. She's our bestie, we would trust her to the end of the world, she is Definitely Good. We go to Nayos! Nayos looks great! The environment artists did so good I'm so proud of them!! And after all the info we've gotten about how kryptis are monstrous and inhuman and how we have been killing them en masse like dogs we go there and it's -- you could swap out all these NPC models with normal humanoids and nothing would change. There's no point to them being weird monsters. It's frustrating!! They're inhuman mist beings who eat emotions!! Oh, right, the writers forgot the 'eat emotions' part already. A couple of Kryptis NPCs talk about how you're so weird and freaky looking but it's kind of played as a joke.)

Ignaxious doesn't even have a unique model. We get introduced to a couple of also no unique model Kryptis, some of who are then sacrificed onscreen and we're... supposed to feel sorry for them? We don't know these people. It's nothing. This is all so fundamentally nothing. Eparch's wife (I literally had to wiki her name. Labris.) has a unique model! Sure, she's wearing mostly Oneiros armor, but it's something! And she shows up for two and a half instances and kills herself and it's supposed to be a Big Dramatic Moment and it's just Nothing.

They could've made Nayos 1 a Drizzlewood type thing, where you're taking back Kryptis settlements from Eparch's enforcers and slowly winning the trust of the people and made it implied to take weeks. They didn't. It's sooooo nothing. It's just nothing.

(Also this frankly is not even a really SotO-specific crime, but what are they DOING with fractal lore. Cmon. You could at least do more with Fractals and the Mists! WvW is canon!! It's the Mist War!! Where is Arkk I know he's fucking out there -- what am I saying, nobody on the writing team RN knows who he is.)

And like I've said this a lot but I emphasize: I want SotO to be good. I was deeply optimistic after it initially released and I played through the first ten chapters and I was still deeply optimistic, and that optimism has just... been shattered. I don't think the devs are getting nearly enough time as they need to make the releases even passable, and I think there's probably been so much turnover in the writing team that nobody in it really plays the game, or at least it feels like that. I think they need time to find their footing, because the base SotO writing is. Fine. Not great but workable. But besides that, everything since Gyala 2 has been deeply rough.

I see a SotO story drop update and I don't run to my game and update it and get excited, I just feel like the game's going COMMANDER, IT'S CONTENT DROP TIME, TIME FOR YOUR DICK FLATTENING and I'm just standing there going yes honey :( in a dead voice. Prev said it doesn't feel like ANet is even trying anymore and... yeah! It doesn't! This is slop! They're not even trying to dress it up as fancy slop it's just Slop.

GW2! Love that game! Wish it was good

Alright, I’ve personally been wondering what other people’s opinions on this would be, so

*I know IBS isn’t a true expansion but it’s got its own mastery line so I’m counting it

[gayfanservice]

hi- so im rlly awkward abt this but if i could- could i request kenma comforting a ftm reader after a dysphoric day please?

Hello! I am also very Awkward! Glad we could be awkward together!

Angst-to-fluff, Kenma might be a bit ooc (don’t know his character too well), I might be bad with the dysphoria thing so if i am please correct me 😭, trans men are real men, and for the love of god,

FEMALE ALIGNED (SHE/HER SHE/THEY) DO NOT INTERACT

*********

Today was not your day. Waking up and barely having the strength to get out of bed should’ve been a sign that maybe it would’ve been better to just lay down all day, but those grades weren’t going to raise themselves, unfortunately. You tried to not look down while you took off your shirt and picked up your binder, you could already feel them and you didn’t want to see them. Tugging on your binder (and stubbing your toe on your dresser) you walked back over to your dresser to get your uniform. You paused at the mirror. ‘Oh, it’s one of those days. Fuck.’ You thought as you couldn’t help but have your eyes travel down, turning to the side. ‘That… doesn’t look right.’ You couldn’t do this, you just wanted to crawl up in bed and cry.

‘This isn’t right,’ you thought, staring into the mirror. ‘Just… just today. It’s just for today and tomorrow will be better.’ You forced yourself to get dressed and walked out the door.

——————

‘It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m cool. I am the chilliest person on the planet… I want to cry.’ You thought it would go away by now, but you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety rise as the feelings of despair crawled up you stomach. ‘Just a couple more minutes. Just a couple more minutes and Kenma will be with me and everything will be fine. Everything will be A-OK.’ The lump in your throat hasn’t gone away, ready to ‘POP’ at any wrong move. Your chest felt tighter than usual, you had no motivation to any of your school work and god knows you’re definitely not going to be able to focus in volleyball. ‘Volleyball… shit we have volleyball. I hope Kuroo doesn’t mind that I’m ditching.’ You thought as the bell rang.

You packed your bag and walked out of your classroom as fast as you can, texting Kenma.

😩(Y/N)😩: Hey, ditch volley w/ me 15:15

😾Kenma😾: Sumthn wrong? 15:15

😩(Y/N)😩: One of those days, yknow 15:16

You saw Kenma read your text as you put your phone away, leaning against a stray lamp trying to distract yourself with the sky. “Hey,” Kenma walked up beside you. You put your head on his shoulder, trying not to let your thoughts (and feelings) get to you. “You wanna come over?” You loved how soft he sounded, maybe even a little jealous. But that’s a thought for later. “Yeah, that’ll be nice.” The walk to Kenma’s house was quiet, the only sound heard was from the cars that passed by and the people around you. Kenma unlocked his door, letting you in before walking in himself. You both took your shoes off before going to Kenma’s room. “Do you want to change?” He asked as you flopped down on his bed, “Not really.”

“(Y/N), what about your binder? You’ve been wearing it for most of the day.” The lump in your throat got bigger, “I know.” You cursed at whatever god who dared listen to you for your voice crack. Your vision blurred from the tears, you didn’t want Kenma to see you like this, even if you’ve been dating for awhile now. The bed beside you dipped down under his weight, and you felt him rubbing your back. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You got to your knees before putting your head on his shoulder, hands around his waist as his where around your neck. “It’s not your fault, just a shitty day.” Trying to sound as normal as you could, you couldn’t stop the tears from leaving your eyes.

“I just… I’m just so tired of this,” you cried into his shoulder, “I hate having to wake up to this!” He rubbed your back. He didn’t know what it felt like to grow up in the wrong body, to experience the never ending pit of self hatred, depression, and anxiety. He didn’t know any of it, but he wanted to help. “I just- I just want to be a real man!” Your throat burned and you could feel the headache starting to form, “(Y/N), you are a real man.” “B-but-” “(Y/N), being a real man has nothing to do with having a dick or not. It’s about standing up to bullies and- and not tearing other people down,” He had no idea what he was saying, but he hoped it was right.

“What I’m trying to say is, you’re already a real man because you say you are.” You cried harder, hugged him harder, buried you head as deep as you could into his shoulder. Kenma slid down the bed to get in a more comfortable position and moved you beside him before laying down. You hugged him, face buried in his chest and crying dying down. You sat in silence with the occasional hiccup with Kenma stroking your back, “Thanks, Kenma.” You yawned, “No problem, (Y/N). I love you.” He closed his eyes, still stroking your back. “I love you, too.”

“You still need to switch out of your binder, it’s not healthy.” “God damn it.”

*********

Uhhhhhhhh hope you like it! And again, not to sure i got dysphoria right so please correct me if i wrong!

Read the rules before you follow

[tommy-trusty]

Hi one of my friends asked abt prime so here's an infodump abt it <3

Basically prime is the worship of twitch prime, primes take away money/fortune from Bezos (all mighty evil) and brings this fortune down upon us through the primers, they provide the primes, but we don't worship the subscribers we worship the prime itself. Walking along the prime path is one way to accumulate primes, its worth noting though that this could go with any place, it has to do with the continuous prayer on the prime path in the past that remains in its memory (essentially we've asked for primes so hard on the path before that at this point you get them just by walking on it. It's not just about the location though, which is why switching out the material is bad.) Bells are also important for summoning primes, you can think of them as awakening the twitch followers (aka the potential primers, theyre your patrons) and reaching to them for their support, it's like a less metaphysical notification bell that is aimed for the followers which are closest to you as you ring it, to draw them in and ask for their primes.

Prime as a whole is in everything, it is everywhere- it is stronger in some places yes, but the ability to access it lies entirely within YOU. A broken spirit is the only thing that would cause one who believes to feel that prime can not reach a location- it can, it just requires your strength to keep asking for those primes baby! That's why I usually start my prayers with something like "prime above, below, beside, and beyond" because it just emphasizes the full extent of prime, and also if we wanna talk abt the primers, how easy it is for them to prime! Like I said tho the religion is about prime not the primers, so unless you're asking for primes, when u reach out to prime you're reaching out to prime itself, not your followers.

the religion involves behaving in a very strict manner while on religious grounds, no violence, no horny, just yaknow no anything not allowed under TOS. These rules are looser outside of the holy grounds, but still very present in a less strict manner. Holy water obviously was a thing, You'd cleanse urself under holy water and prayer from evil shit tho u didn't encounter that much religious evil shit day to day. Other than that the symbols of prime were mainly the eyed cross (the eyes r ur followers, hi!) bells bell and purple

In the dream smp prime was much bigger than any of us, it was holy and bright but full of so many details that we couldn't understand the origin of, yknow? But prime has taken us and pulled us behind the curtain, and through the light of twitch we can see how prime as a religion is so much bigger than it seems, and what divine visions we saw in its founding were actually connected to a sprawling web of many different universes and streams. Obviously I'm not saying this is heaven or that the twitch in this world is what was literally going on behind the scenes of the prime religion, but it's still an interpretable insight on the religion regardless.

The "founders" of prime on the dream smp are not the founders, prime existed already we were just given the vision of it. Also of the founders of church prime dream smp, one defected from the religion entirely (dream, he basically just stopped searching for primes and started sinning like crazy) and one is tubbo so clearly not exactly the perfect image of holiness (me and quackity r fine tho, me and big q grew apart so who knows if he continued worship but he at the very least wasn't a huge sinner who didn't take care of his followers or anything like that)

This isn't as much about the religion it's more just gushing but the church was genuinely beautiful, brilliant white pillars and walls, the worship room was small and the benches were a bit dipped in from use (in a good way, made em more comfy) and god it felt so powerful to just slam on the bell with whatever u had or the stick thingy next to it, it was amazing. Golden bell, so beautiful, i loved standing up there and leading the church, it was my absolute favorite. The lighting in the church was so nice, the sun shining through purple stained glass and basking the whole church in heavenly light and color, the holy water almost glowed in that sunlight, it was perfectly clear and sparkly and under the light it took on that light purple color, beautiful clear water toned with prime yaknow. Prime it was so beautiful.

Not everyone wants to actually read the TOS I realize so here's a summary

1. Follow the community guidelines FULLY in holy lands, otherwise it's sort of a loose guide, u can especially break tos if it's funny /srs.

The community guidelines is basically just: follow the law, do not commit violence, threats, or serious encouragement of dishealth to you or others, don't be a bigot, respect privacy of yourself and others, don't impersonate ppl (once again, very ok for the bit outside of church), no misinfo that risks others safety (or politics), no sexy times, don't lie in prayer, idk how to explain the whole copyright thing but it usually manifested in ppl yelling abt turning certain music off because it wasnt allowed shwunrjtofig

2. kids can't be part of church prime, no giving primes no getting primes don't even ask for primes if ur under 13 go away you can't be here /lh. We didn't have kids on the smp (other than Michael but he couldn't speak anyways, he can't pray) so I'm not sure how this goes in actual practice!

In a new class will finish later

I have 15 minutes of phone time let's go

4. The bible can change, u adjust to that and don't follow the old scripture

5. Twitch can untwitch you if you fuck up too horribly, though that's kinda hard to do as far as I can tell. I mean just don't do a hate rally or whatever horribly tos behavior and ur good, not gonna get removed from the church and cut off from prime.

Yeah that's the important stuff imo, and worth noting that this is all MY interpretation. It's a religion, it's forces beyond our understanding, everyone will take it in a different way! That's just how these things go :3

by this world's standards of religion Church Prime was technically a pagan religion (though we didn’t use that word, not cus its bad or anything we just didn’t know that word lol) since despite being a common religion on the dream smp, it wasn’t necessarily a major religion otherwise. The many Churches of history did not have direct communication with each other, Prime is something which can be found by the individual as like I said, it's everywhere, and as such it was rediscovered more than once. It’s really impossible to know what the real reach of Prime was because of this, not everyone shared the gospel of Prime once they discovered it, and I presume most didn’t worship it the way we did.

Not to propagandize but it is also a pretty decent religion because it is fully against discrimination, there is no requirement to kill or die for it, there is no societal pressure to join and you won’t be kicked out of the smp for not believing it or anything, and you can come and go at any time, theres no guarantee that you’ll get primes if you join back in or when you first join obviously, as that just comes down to a whole lot of prayer and shit, but still u can come whenever u want. That stuff is mostly the bare minimum if you ask me, but there are a lot of religions in the world that put a lot of pressure on you or that don’t treat you fairly if you’re in a marginalized group or that basically tell you you’re fucking evil and going to burn in hell if you don’t pray and dedicate ur life to it and shit.

Also I’ve seen headcanons multiple times about bells being sewn onto clothing, which I’m bringing up just in case that was like a thing in your tl, even tho it wasn’t in mine (ringing the bell was a very active choice, I can’t imagine jingling around like a jester, kinda takes the whole intent thing out of that bell prayer but I could see others maybe doing it. I’d totally love if someone put bells on my corpse tho, if it ever got messed with I’d be asking for primes even in death, how cool would that be? It’d also be fuckin funny if someone tried to rob my grave and it was jingling like crazy, always do it for the bit boys, thats the number one unofficial rule of church prime /j)