#that’s not a “man who thinks he’s a woman” she’s a trans woman. at the very least you could go back to referring to her as a biological mal

[naamahdarling]

The words my 80 year old dad uses for various marginalized identities would curl the hair of most younger folks but his first reaction to being told my boyfriend was trans was to creak up out of his chair, totter five steps, and enfold him in a great big dad hug.

You must give people a chance to demonstrate their priorities and allyship beyond their choice of words!

i feel like it's absolutely crucial in the social justice world to take "he a little confused but he got the spirit" and similar sentiments/situations as a Win. intent is so much more important than saying it right the first time! if someone is approaching with scuffed language and incorrect terms but they're visibly being as polite as they know how, that person is a friend and should be treated better than what their words might invite in someone else's mouth.

[vaspider]

I've been thinking about the one post that had some weirdo TIRF on it talking about how "men 👏 don't 👏 experience 👏 misogyny" and everybody just kind of skipped to talking about how ofc trans men experience misogyny but like

We can't just skip how fucking asinine that sentence is on its face. That is not ground that should be conceded, bc trying to state as if it's a plain fact that "men don't experience misogyny" should get you laughed out of any room you're in.

Every time a boy is told he "throws like a girl" or is called a "little baby girl" for crying, he's experiencing misogyny because he's being devalued for traits that others see as feminine, traits which those doing the mocking see as belonging to women. Every time a fat dude's "moobs" get mocked, he's experiencing misogyny. Every time a girl makes fun of a dude for enjoying something she perceives as feminine, he's experiencing a double whammy of misogyny and homophobia.

There is no other reasonable way to discuss what these men are experiencing. That's misogyny.

The longer I talk with people in all kinds of marginalized groups online, the more convinced I am both that it's very understandable that people want their experiences and their hurts and their oppressions to be totally unique and unable to be experienced by anybody who isn't part of their group and also that anybody who hammers away on the idea that "only [X] can experience [Y]" and devotes excessive time to guarding the borders of their little fiefdom is not just not helping the cause of liberation, but is actively degrading our chances of making meaningful change.

I would go so far as to say there probably isn't a man alive who has zero experience of misogyny. Misogyny is leveraged against men constantly as a form of social control. Just because it's "do X or we will devalue you by calling you a woman" doesn't make it not an experience of misogyny.

Is it exactly the same thing that women experience? No, but also what different groups of women and different individuals experience is also different. There is no flawlessly singular experience of oppression experienced only by women, experienced the same way by all women, and never endured by men.

With that very simple fact in mind, spending time endlessly trying to police the way that another marginalized individual speaks about the method and effect of their own oppression rather than finding solidarity and commonality is fucking fed shit. It does not serve us and actively sabotages all of us, serving only those who actively benefit from our subservience and our infighting.

So fucking stop it.

[bimboficationblues]

I think what really irritates me about framing trans-woman-antagonistic feminist politics as a result of "anti-man" sentiment is that it's typical of a weak approach to ideology analysis, which says that the way to understand a movement is to look exclusively at its rhetoric and the subjective beliefs of its adherents, while bracketing out their collective, objective political actions, and reading your own understanding of terms into their rhetoric.

and while words and rhetoric can be revealing, they can also be mystifying. particularly when dealing with ideological forms and movements that have a higher-than-average tendency towards opportunistic disingenuity and private/in-group definitions of words, rhetoric can be a trap for the observer. it's a form of credulity.

From a sheer practical perspective, one of the great political advantages of fascism, noted by numerous observers, lay precisely in its disregard for ideological coherence and its emphasis on achieving results, a trait sometimes referred to as “pragmatism,” which found expression in uninhibited use of demagoguery. Hence a blatant paradox in the argument that fascists need to be “taken at their word,” as if there was one “Word” which could be “taken,” rather than many different words, and as if these words were in turn not frequently used in willful deception. Those who wish to comprehend fascist ideology would do well to reckon with the fact that lies, myth-mongering and demagoguery were built into it. This means that anybody who treats fascists as sincere immediately fails, whatever else he or she might be doing, to “take them seriously.”

[sunstoneboy]

I’ve just realized that through my whole transition nobody has ever perceived me as anything but cis without already knowing I was trans.

I’m the eyes of the public I went from little cis lesbian girl instantly into little cis gay boy.

Now that’s not to say they never confused my gender, I identified as a guy much much longer than I was perceived as one, even a good bit into my time on testosterone. But even then had people be shocked when I’d talk about a boy I liked and I’d be like “oh yeah I’m bisexual haha, I like guys too” and they’d just be like “oh, I thought you were a lesbian” and the several months on T little trans boy that I was would just be like erm…. But then eventually I lost my attraction to women, so people only knew I liked guys. But they weren’t like “straight woman”, that was like the moment the switch flipped and I was perceived solely as “cis gay guy”.

I’m not even strictly a man, idk how this happened. I’m genderfluid truthfully, though I do recognize I look like a cis guy now. But I was just thinking about how some of my friends who are working through their transitions are being called he they and she all in one sentence when they only use like one of those pronouns. But I somehow skipped that cutscene. Strange.

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

there's a lot of enbyphobia to man/masc/boy leaning nonbinary people. I think it's because lots of people associate (especially transphobic people) nonbinary people to AFABs (or maybe intersex people who were women before, I dunno) but anyone who was a woman before or they view as a woman ... And there was a bathroom door with the male bathroom saying "he/him" and the other sign saying "she/her/" "they/them" and making fun of neopronouns because they think nonbinary people are just a tree branch to women.

That's why I hate the hate on Demiboy lesbians...they have different experiences to other man genders so why do you care? And not to mention... Trans men can be lesbians, like they don't feel straight and have been a lesbian for a long time! And demiboys can be AFAB..Soo... Yeah..

[hypogryffin]

i cant believe i wasn't following u b4,,,,,ive just been silently scrolling through your blog for like a solid YEAR and just haven't even noticed????? n e ways what are tha thoughts on literally anyone in p4 being trans bc i live for that 🎤

the way my brain decided that this was asking for pronoun headcanons and did not reread to make sure that was what you were asking before drawing all of this��... well anyways

[slyandthefamilybook]

can we talk about "clocking" discourse because I feel like way too many people went from "I don't want transphobes to think I am my AGAB because it would cause me dysphoria and possibly put me in danger" to "I don't want anyone, not even other trans people, to think I'm trans" as if that's a natural progression

[maybeicanbesaved]

got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’

[gutsfics]

since ive been rotating pre-transition Neel around in my head, ive decided that he's not public about it at all to the point that maybe 2 or 3 people even know that he was A.J. Warren

[usercelestial]

okay i get it but i also think its important to acknowledge that there is a difference between knowing from an audience standpoint that a character should be queer VS it firmly being acknowledged verbally within the narrative as a solid aspect of that character's identity irrefutably

[rabble-dabble]

it took a lot of thinking to settle on knowing if i was a trans guy but what really solidified it to me was being unable to live with the thought of dying as anything but an old man. i can't imagine not having grey facial hair and old faded top surgery scars and maybe grandchildren who call me "grandpa". i just cant live with the thought of my gravestone having "daughter, wife, aunt, niece, grandmother," carved into it along with the name of a stranger. they can't ask me to die as a her. They won't kill me as a her. they wont bury me as a her. Its not fair. They can carve the wrong name into stone and dig up my bones and say "this skeleton makes a woman" but i assure you i'm going to die as a man with the name those close to my heart know me by. and i'm going to live long enough to meet him, the future version of me, because if theyre gonna try to bury me as a woman theyre gonna have to try and kill the man in me to do it. and ill cackle from my casket knowing they had to try to erase me in death because i wouldnt let them do it while i was alive. I wouldnt let them.

[contagious-watermelon]

it's real interesting to me when self-proclaimed trans allies, or even other queer people, automatically and subconsciously refer to trans men and trans women as "they" in contexts where they don't to cis people

[perennial-bee]

"trans people are only trans because of oppressive gender roles and if we just got rid of the gender roles nobody would be trans" might sound like a hot take, a thoughtful and compassionate take, but unfortunately it is ice cold and does not understand how being trans works at all. meet and talk to and listen to more trans people - preferably in real life - before making assertions like this, especially if you yourself are not trans.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Having Nonbinary Sapphic Tuvok Brainrot Lately…

You're the realest motherfucker on planet Earth and I hope you know that.

Here's a bunch of bullshit I doodled on the topic of Nonbinary Sapphic Tuvok !!!! And I HOPE you will share YOUR personal brainrot with the class (my ask box, the masses, a text post....whatever gets the word out.) If you've been paying attention you KNOW I love a 'Tuvok discovers he's trans while in the delta quadrant' story Guy who likes girls and has always liked girls...but....not in the same way OTHER guys seem to like girls... Tuvok who never quite fit in with 'other' men even Vulcan men...always preferred spending time with women and girls but never felt precisely LIKE a woman or OVERLY uncomfortable with being identified as a man and Vulcan society doesn't seem like it would be heavily gendered so he never really questioned it seriously. Tuvok who found comfort in titles like Husband and Father...those fit, those are good. Then in the delta quadrant he isn't able to be a husband or a father any more and is just some guy surrounded by humans...hmmmmmm....

Still doesn't really seriously think it's worth questioning or exploring his gender identity (partially out of a desire to return home as he left...what will his wife and children think? He's experienced a LOT of sudden change in regards to his personal identity and life, he doesn't really want to undergo more.) until Seven of Nine comes along and also begins to go through a "Questioning Her Gender" arc. Tuvok thinks about it on his own time for a long time and then finally goes to Janeway for support and assistance and together they spend like SEVERAL months just the two of them seeing what this whole gender thing's about. Tuvok slowly exploring expressing himself in a more feminine manner because he's spent his whole life adhering rigidly to one sort of Look. Unexpectedly struggles with anxiety about this. Neelix: Don't be nervous Ms. Vulcan! Tuvok: [nervous] I am not nervous. Tuvok and Seven BOTH exploring masculinity/femininity and their own nonbinary gender identities...late night slumber par- experimentation. Painting each others nails is...very scientific. It's important. Talking with Janeway was good because she's his friend but talking with Seven, another person actively questioning their gender is....well, it's something else.

[princemick]

sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'

[vonkarma2]

ultimately my enjoyment is hampered because it is low key sexist bc it takes place in an alternate universe where Sigmund Freud is real. though I did still like it for the most part but I hate Sigmund Freudddd Utena better