#ill die as i am. a trans gay bi man. and they can wring the satisfied life from my cold dead wrinkled hands
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rabble-dabble · 11 months ago
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it took a lot of thinking to settle on knowing if i was a trans guy but what really solidified it to me was being unable to live with the thought of dying as anything but an old man. i can't imagine not having grey facial hair and old faded top surgery scars and maybe grandchildren who call me "grandpa". i just cant live with the thought of my gravestone having "daughter, wife, aunt, niece, grandmother," carved into it along with the name of a stranger. they can't ask me to die as a her. They won't kill me as a her. they wont bury me as a her. Its not fair. They can carve the wrong name into stone and dig up my bones and say "this skeleton makes a woman" but i assure you i'm going to die as a man with the name those close to my heart know me by. and i'm going to live long enough to meet him, the future version of me, because if theyre gonna try to bury me as a woman theyre gonna have to try and kill the man in me to do it. and ill cackle from my casket knowing they had to try to erase me in death because i wouldnt let them do it while i was alive. I wouldnt let them.
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