#ill die as i am. a trans gay bi man. and they can wring the satisfied life from my cold dead wrinkled hands
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it took a lot of thinking to settle on knowing if i was a trans guy but what really solidified it to me was being unable to live with the thought of dying as anything but an old man. i can't imagine not having grey facial hair and old faded top surgery scars and maybe grandchildren who call me "grandpa". i just cant live with the thought of my gravestone having "daughter, wife, aunt, niece, grandmother," carved into it along with the name of a stranger. they can't ask me to die as a her. They won't kill me as a her. they wont bury me as a her. Its not fair. They can carve the wrong name into stone and dig up my bones and say "this skeleton makes a woman" but i assure you i'm going to die as a man with the name those close to my heart know me by. and i'm going to live long enough to meet him, the future version of me, because if theyre gonna try to bury me as a woman theyre gonna have to try and kill the man in me to do it. and ill cackle from my casket knowing they had to try to erase me in death because i wouldnt let them do it while i was alive. I wouldnt let them.
#text post#transgender#trans#trans boy#i think about the high lgbtqia death rates and like. my parents having to bury me#if they try to bury me as a woman (which is likely) ill come back to haunt their lives. ill curse them beyond the grave#my friends would fight for me i think. i believe. even if my parents try to bury me as a daughter my friends would know better. i was a son#i like to think my spirit will go down kicking and screaming. dad if you see my pride flags and bury me as your daughter i hope i haunt you#i killed her actually. something something that one trans post about 'actually yeah your misgendered child IS dead. i took them over'#there is no daughter here. not anymore. she died and came back a son#also just something about living long enough to become old. to become wrinkled. to have a family and a lineage.#'yeah grandpa rabble was born a girl but he's always been grandpa'#at least if im buried in a dress or something i lived as i did#they can try and erase the boy in me but i already lived as him. HA. take that#they can try and bury me but they'll never be able to bury me alive. they'll never bury who i was to me.#ill die as i am. a trans gay bi man. and they can wring the satisfied life from my cold dead wrinkled hands#rabble poem
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