#that’s memory problems I guess

[demonicseries]

I was so excited to see people make memes about Loki going to “gay supertime” knowing I coined the phrase

there is something funnier tho. I have really bad memory, and when I was coining “gay supertime”, it was obviously inspired by the meme where people would say Aziraphale went to “gay superheaven” parodying spn’s gay superhell.

The funny thing is, I also coined the term “gay superheaven” and yet somehow forget I did that until this reminded me

[sysig]

I think the world is so wonderful... (Patreon)

[puppppppppy]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

[technicolortrenchcoat]

I don't think people without memory loss realize how truly devastating it is and how it changes everything about how you live

They don't realize that the memory loss can be as disabling as to require you to keep a chart of daily activities to check off because you literally cant remember if you did them.

They don't realize that you literally cant graduate from higher education, you cant remember things for long enough.

They don't realize how hard it is to find employment when remembering new instructions is difficult.

They don't realize that you're taking photos and videos and collecting mementos and trinkets and hoarding them because without them the memories literally do not exist for you.

They don't realize that you are grieving every moment that you want to remember, as you are living it, because you know you wont remember it. You know you wont be able to go back to it the way other people can.

They don't realize it even chases you into your sleep. I have the same recurring nightmare every night, and have for years, and it's about losing my memories. Never being able to get them back.

I don't think people without memory loss realize how truly devastating it is and how it changes everything about how you live

even your dreams

[the-patrex]

I have seen a LOT of discourse about the finale so here is my final opinion on it: I Liked it I thought it was Very Bad

[dairine-bonnet]

On the Leviathan:

Darth Malak to amnesiac Revan: Don't you dare look at me as if you don't remember anything about me!

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[cinnamonsikwate]

watching the first 2 episodes of frieren last year shook me so bad i still can't get myself to continue it, but between what i remember of it and the nightmares episode of dungeon meshi i can't stop thinking about the ways laios would prepare marcille for his death. what would he leave behind to remind her that he (and by extension all the people she loved and who loved her) are still with her in spirit, even if not in body?

[redgearsmovin]

[ID start: Various digital sketches of Imagination Movers characters: Nina, Dave, Scott, Smitty and Rich. End ID.]

[bl0rbohandbag]

I was going to say that Lilia was pleasantly wrong and that Malleus is nowhere near as bad as Mallenoa sounds, that he is actually pretty level-headed and calm despite having his moments and is considerably less temperamental and more mature than his mother but you know what. I forgot we are currently in this entire situation because of his selfish desire for everything to remain unchanging and poor emotional management to the point he overblotted and put not only Lilia but the entire NRC under a sleeping spell because of his unwiligness to engage with upsetting emotions and letting go of people he loves.

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up

[master-of-the-railway]

Me pulling up my map of Sodor 200000 times a minute while writing fanfic/making AU notes because I have shit memory when it comes to where and what direction certain places are on this godforsaken island:

[pokemonfrommemory]

Sawblade dinosaur

[lesbianlenas]

ok i know u r all DYING to hear abt my topic for my 60 pg paper basically i had originally wanted to write abt creating a separate standard for women who have been abused killing their husbands other than self defense bc self defense has an imminence requirement that leads many women to be convicted of first degree murder for killing their abusive husbands. but someone in my journal wrote that last yr and even tho i could make a different argument i just felt like there was no way i wasn’t going to be preempted so i was like ok nvm. and there was a whole bunch of other ideas i came up w that were also preempted. but anyway i was really upset abt the first one being preempted but it came to me like a vision that i could write abt postpartum psychosis instead which is a somewhat similar issue in that the law doesn’t consider it bc it is an issue specific to women which leads to women being convicted of first degree murder & even getting the death penalty for killing their children while suffering from that. so i am going to write abt creating a specific standard for that other than the insanity defense which isn’t good enough and no one in my journal has ever written abt that & i haven’t seen any other articles written that make the exact argument i want to make so we are good 👍

[jtl-fics]

None of ya’ll will ever know the sheer amount of workshopping and peer review that goes into these stupid memes. ISTG.

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.