#that’s just why i personally am pissed off

[redfoxwritesstuff]

AN: Have a good Christmas Eve if you celebrate, don't forget to put cookies out and most importantly, regardless of if you celebrate or not- Don't go licking any doorknobs!

CW: Public sex, garden sex, drunk sex, oral sex

Summary: You were at the most exclusive holiday party in all of Hell and it should have been a great time. Instead, you were in a dress you didn't feel good in and left by yourself. If you didn't have anyone to spend the party with, you'd make friends with the bartender. One thing lead to another and before you knew it, you were in the most depressed drink off with the King of Hell himself and needing to step outside for some air.

The Pride Manor Christmas party was a thing of legends. Only the highest powers in all of hell, not just the Pride ring, were lucky enough to snag an invitation. That made the sight of you and the other hotel guests stick out like a sore thumb. None of you had clothes nice enough to really fit in with the crowd. 

Charlie was more than eager to dress Vaggie up but it fell to Alastor to do the rest and… his enthusiasm was lackluster at best. The result was a dress that was also lackluster. 

You had tried to make the best of it, but the confidence just wasn’t there. The dress wasn’t ugly but… it didn’t feel like you. It was whatever. You had decided as you made your way to the bar. 

Every single person there was better than you, having a better time than you. Alastor disappeared after jabbing insults with the king, smile and laugh seeming to trail behind him. Vaggie and Charlie had each other. They were wrapped up in their hush hushed whispers, focused on nothing but eachother. Angel Dust was off with Husk, somehow managing to be the life of the party. Niffty was off somewhere, cleaning something. 

And you? You were alone in a dress that didn’t make you feel good enough to even try to socialize. 

The bar would be your friend. You sat down and ordered a shot, wanting to get a buzz going quickly. At least if you were buzzed, you wouldn’t feel so lonely. 

“That’s a strong choice,” the smooth voice of Lucifer came from behind you, startling you as he sat in the seat next to you. 

“Is that a problem, Your Majesty?” You forced a smile on your lips.

“Not for me.” He directed his attention to the bartender, ordering himself one of the same. “You’re not enjoying the party?”

“Oh!” Your smile grew strained. “I- Sure. I just don’t… It’s a lot of people.” 

You downed your shot, catching sight of Lucifer doing the same out of the corner of your eye. You ordered another, only for him to do the same. 

“Yeah.” He sighed, picking up the small glass and rolling it in his fingers. “It’s not actually my thing, but it’s tradition, and who am I to piss on tradition?” 

“You’re the King.” You almost laughed at the thought of the devil himself being hopeless in the face of tradition. “And the devil. Isn’t pissing on tradition your thing?”

“Not really.” He forced a smile, fingers running over the golden ring that had sat for centuries, marking the marriage that he still longed for. “The party was my wi-” he hesitated, cutting the word off before changing what he was going to say. “It was Lilith’s thing. Charlie lives for it every year. I wouldn’t take that from her.” 

“Oh.” You struggled to know what else to say, so instead, you downed your shot. Lucifer downed his right after you. Together, you ordered another. “Are you copying me?” 

“I’m just a man sitting at the bar drinking.” He smiled. “How do I know you’re not trying to copy me?”

You downed your drink as soon as it landed, just to watch Lucifer do the same. “What are you doing?” you finally snapped at him, feeling the heat of the drinks flowing through your veins. “Why are you bothering me?” 

He smiled softly at you. “Why are you not enjoying the party?” 

“Because your party fucking sucks,” you lashed out. It wasn’t your proudest moment. “It sucks and I don’t fucking know anyone here. I dont have anyone to drink with and the cherry on top is I look fucking ugly in my dress.” 

“Another,” Lucifer flagged the bartender, “Make mine double.” 

“Me, too.” You insisted.

“Don’t try to keep up with me, angel.” Lucifer warned, downing first one shot and then the next. 

“Don’t underestimate me,” you challenged and in that moment, you found yourself in what you very much hadn’t expected- a drink off with the king of hell himself. 

Shot after shot went down as your sour mood became a little lighter. The pace slowed as the time between shots was filled with the drunk chatter that was found in bars around the living world and in hell. 

“Oh,” you said as you leaned back, a smile on your warm face. “I think I need to get some air.” 

“Have too much to drink?” Lucifer teased as you stood, swaying on your feet. “Oh, shit.” He rushed off his stool after quickly downing the last of the shots in front of him. 

“I’m okay,” you said as his hand rested on your lower back. “Just need some air. Then I’ll drink you under the table.” 

“Right,” Lucifer said. “Let me help you out?”

“I don’t… I don’t need anyone’s help.” Your words slurred as Lucifer walked with you. “Having help is how I ended up in this ugly dress.” 

“Where are you going?” Lucifer asked as you marched intently off.

“Outside.” You looked over at him as if he was dumb.

“That’s not the way outside,” Lucifer laughed as he guided you in another direction. “There’s a garden this way. Do you want to see it?” 

“Are there ducks?” you asked as you let him lead you on the way, catching him by surprise. “Charlie said you like ducks.” 

“Char talks about me?” Lucifer’s smile brightened and your heart skipped a beat. He was a handsome man when he smiled. 

“Sometimes,” you shrugged as he guided you into the hall, the party fading into the distance as your heels clicked against the stone floors. “She loves you a lot. Like, a lot a lot.” 

“I love her a lot, too.” Lucifer smiled, guiding yo toward the large windows that looked out on an enclosed garden. 

“Oh, wow.” Your breath caught as you looked out on it. 

“Come on,” Lucifer held open the door. “Let’s get you some air.” 

The garden was magical, not just in its beauty but in the cool air that felt so much like that of a summer night in the living world that washed over you. Each breath you took seemed to clear your head as you walked deeper into the garden. Bushes and trees obscured the view from the windows. 

“Why don’t you like your dress?” Lucifer asked, as you walked with wide-eyed glee through his garden. It had been years, decades since he had brought another into the little slice of life he had created in the depths of hell. 

“Oh?” You looked down at yourself, running your fingers over the fabric. “It’s just- it’s not something I’d pick for myself. I- I think it doesn’t, I don’t know.” 

Lucifer laughed, quickly choking the sound off when he caught sight of the tears in your eyes. 

“Oh, no!” He rushed to wipe the tear from your cheek. “I think it looks- you look swimmingly in it. It looks wimming on you. Wimming! Fuck!” 

It was your turn to laugh as Lucifer stomped away from you. You followed, swaying on your feet as he stomped his way to the large tree that was the centerpiece of the garden. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, resting a hand on his back to steady yourself and offer comfort. “I just, I- you’re cute.” 

“You think I’m cute?” Lucifer smiled, turning to face you slowly. “I’m a damned mess and you think I’m cute?”

“Aren’t we all?” you teased. “Damned, I mean. That’s why we’re all here.” 

“Because of me.” 

You shrugged. “I don’t know, man, you seem pretty fuckin normal. You’re cute and goofy and just a dude.” 

“I’m the,” Lucifer swayed a little on his feet as he reached out for you, “I’m the most powerful being down here and you don’t think it’s my fault?” 

“No,” you said, laughing as you leaned against the tree for support. “I think humanity was fucked from the start. We’re fucked, man. Totally fucked up creatures because- you want to know why?” 

“Why?” Lucifer leaned against the tree. “Oh, wise one?” 

“Because you fucked up.” You poked his chest, leaning into him. “You know what we’re taught about you?” 

“What?” Lucifer said, enjoying the fact that you were simply talking to him like a man. 

“That you were the most perfect being. You were the more- the more- fuck, the more perfect than us and you fucked up. If you fucked up, then we were destined to fuck up too, so stop giving yourself so much credit. It’s fucking- you’ve got a big fucking ego.” 

“I’m the sin of pride,” Lucifer’s eyes flicked down to your lips. He knew it was wrong. You were drunk, but that didn’t stop him from hoping you would initiate something. If you did… maybe it wouldn’t be so wrong to follow your lead. 

No, he knew that was wrong. 

“You may be the sin of pride, but I want to commit the sin of lust with you.” You smiled wide, rather proud of your pickup line. Never in a million lifetimes did you think you’d be hitting on the king, the fucking devil himself, but you were. 

“I – you’re drunk.” Lucifer sighed, pulling his eyes away from you. 

“I’m not that drunk.” Your words slurred, but you stood up straight. Well, almost. “And I’m getting soberer by the minute. I haven’t- fuck, you don’t have to fuck me, but can you at least kiss me? I- I don’t know, just- I want to feel… feel maybe just not like this night is wasted?” 

“Wasted?” Lucifer cocked his head to the side. “Only thing wasted is you from trying to out drink-” 

You launched yourself at the king, wrapping your arms around him and knocking his hat from his head. Your lips sealed over his, cutting off his words. For a moment, he stood frozen, holding his hands out to the sides. Soft lips caressed his, melting his resolve. 

You pulled back, a wide grin on your face as you prepared to dance off and rejoin the party. It wasn’t that you felt better about the party or the dress. Lucifer had just made it clear he had no interest in fucking you as you were. If he wouldn’t, you’d find someone who would. 

Lucifer reached out, snagging your wrist before you made it more than a few steps. He pulled you back, wrapping his arms around you. Morals be damned, ethics be damned- it had felt good to be wanted, to be kissed, and he wanted more of that. 

He kissed you with hunger and passion that left you gasping for air. Nimble fingers made quick work of exposing your breasts, taking in the feel of them in his hands. He moaned at the soft points of your nipples, enjoying the way your body responded to the artificial cool air of the garden. 

You moaned as he pinched the pebbled bud. He devoured the sounds you had made, swallowing them as you arched into his body. It took only a few pulls of your fingers through his hair to reduce his neatly combed blond locks into a wild mess, falling in front of his eyes as he peppered your neck and chest in kisses. 

“Do you still want me?” Lucifer asked as he pushed his hips into you, working the hard shaft of his cock against the front of his pants. 

“Fuck,” you gasped, trying to get enough air into your lungs. “Please? I want you.” 

“Turn around,” Lucifer directed. “Put your hands on the tree.” 

“Oh, shit.” Instead of listening, you reached down, palming the hardness in his pants. 

Lucifer made quick work of undoing his pants and freeing his cock, disproportionately large for the shorter man. It shouldn’t have surprised you, not really. He was heaven’s most perfect angel. Of course, he would have a perfectly sized dick. 

You dropped to your knees, eager to wrap your lips around him. He was heavy on your tongue as you took him in your mouth for a moment. The salt of his skin coated your tongue as you ran it up and down the length of his shaft. Soft kisses collected the slick pre-cum that gathered at his tip. 

“Up,” Lucifer groaned out, “We don’t have a whole lot of time before someone will look for me.” 

As soon as you were on your feet, he spun you and pushed you into the tree. Eager hands gathered the skirt of your dress, bunching it up around your waist. Elastic dug into your hips for a moment as he ripped your panties down your legs. 

You bent over, giving the skirts a shelf of your back to rest on and presenting your glistening sex to him.

“Fuck,” Lucifer moaned out as he ran his hot, gold flushed head along your folds. “The sin is how limited our time is.” 

You moaned as he slowly spread your folds over his head, parting your walls. Time was short, but he knew just as well as you that the initial few moments were some of the sweetest of sex. There was little that compared to tight walls gripping him before they relaxed and made way. 

“Shit, you’re so- fuck.” You struggled to get your words out as he bottomed out, seating himself wholly within you. The stretch was nearly too much and yet that was what made it so amazing.

“Thanks,” he chuckled for a moment, letting your walls flutter and adjust to the intrusion. 

In what felt like seconds, Lucifer was pounding into you as your ankles struggled to spread wider, constricted by the tight rings of your panties. Rough bark scraped against your chest, biting into your nipples as you cling to the tree, using it as support. 

Each thrust into you had his balls slapping your clit. The head of his cock speared you again and again, working the coil within you tighter and tighter. You wished you could see him, see anything, but it took everything you had to hold on to the tree as the devil himself railed you. 

“Shit,” you gasped out, head falling back as he kept his relentless pace up. “Just like that.” 

“As you wish,” Lucifer said, cringing slightly at the line but changing nothing about the pace. 

Your cries grew louder and louder, whimpers, whines, swears, curses and praises all fell eagerly from your lips, making the sweetest music he had heard in decades. Fuck, he had forgotten how good it felt to be within someone, how good it felt to make someone feel good. 

“Are you close?” He huffed out each word, cock twitching with the threat of his own finish. 

“So close,” you whined as he wrapped his hand around your throat, pulling you back by the soft grip. The dominating move was all it took to send you over the edge, walls gripping his cock with renewed force. “Oh fuck. Oh god, oh god, oh god.” 

Lucifer laughed in your ear as his cock twitched, swelled, and then shot his essence into you. His thrusts grew sloppy, rhythm failing as he devolved from the arrogant devil into a gasping man, whimpering with pleasure as your walls milked him of what seed he had left. 

You leaned into lucifer as his cock twitched inside you, the last few spurts of cum painting your cervix. His chest rose and fell behind you, jacket buttons digging into the skin of your back. For a few sweet moments, you allowed yourself to indulge in the feeling of being in his arms. 

“We-” Lucifer sighed as your walls rippled around his softening cock, aftershocks of your orgasm whispering promises of more pleasure if he would only spirit you away. “We should get back to the party.” 

“Yeah.” You swallowed, trying to wet your throat, dried out from the gasping breaths. “We should.” 

Lucifer sighed as his cock slipped from the warm embrace of your hole. He straightened his pants, tucking his wet cock back inside. He nearly zipped himself up, focused more on the sight of your ass, skirt still tangled on your waist as you bent down and pulled your panties up. 

The wet gusset, soaked with your slick, smeared up your leg. Slick mixed with the trail of his cum leaking down your thighs. He could only focus on what he was doing when you stood up straight again, pulling the skirts of your dress so they would fall neatly around your legs. 

“Let me walk you back?” Lucifer offered his arm to you. 

After a moment of hesitation, you took it, allowing the king to wrap your arm around his forearm. He led the way out of the garden, pace slow and relaxed. They needed to get back to the party, but he didn’t want to rush away from your undivided attention. 

“I know you don’t like your dress,” Lucifer said as you stepped into the hall. “But I think you look mesmerizing in it. If you want something different, I can make you something else, if you’d like?” 

“I-” You looked down, smoothing your fingers over the fabric. “I don’t know. Alastor conjured it. It would but rude.” 

“Oh,” Lucifer laughed, spinning you into a circle. “That’s all the more reason to make you something you’ll feel as beautiful in as you look right now.” 

“My king,” you teased, resting your hand on his chest. “That’s far too much for your drunk party fuck.” 

Saying the words hurt more than you had expected. You pushed yourself away from him and walking toward the party. Instead of letting him see that for even a second you thought maybe it could be something more than that, you focused on the sway of your hips and the look you gave him over your shoulder, daring him to chase you. 

What you didn’t see when you turned back around was the longing on Lucifer’s face or the way he ran his fingers over his wedding ring. 

Perhaps… this year, for Christmas he would give himself a present…

Perhaps he would gift himself permission to take that ring off and move on. 

Join us at VoxTek for a Vox themed Hazbin Discord where we talk Vox, Hazbin, writing, reading, art and who knows what else. You may even catch some exclusive sneak peeks at upcoming fics from some of your favorite writers including the first page of the next chapter of MisD a day early!!

[everestgale]

Blink blink blink b

Can i ask what you think are some hobbies or just casual things the voices would enjoy?? if you don’t want to do all of them rn i would love to hear about skeptic’s (biased)

Ooooh, great question!!! Let me see:

For the purposes of it, I'm going to assume the "usual" scenario for my voices, which is typically some sort of post-Unknown Together ending world (so no Long Quiet). Some HCs are just entirely weird/vibes-based, so, uh, you've been warned!

Hero: Probably has the most random HCs of all my voices. For some reason, I tend to think of Hero as a writer and/or TTRPG enthusiast. He probably tried to DM a D&D campaign for his fellow voices. Regretted it after session 1 /hj

Stubborn: Not being super original here, Stubborn loves physical activity/fighting, but I also have a HC that Stubborn would enjoy occasional woodworking. He also self-appointed himself as Broken's personal coach, much to latter's annoyance.

Broken: My Broken has a mild case of chronic fatigue syndrome, and as a result, he prefers to stay indoors. I feel like he would enjoy origami and knitting/crocheting; he probably made himself a few scarves and sweaters.

Cold: He is an interesting one for me (he always is, such a conflicting character for me). I have a feeling on some days, he sees no point in "hobbies" and spends his time observing whatever other voices are doing with their lives instead. On others, he goes through about 18 different hobbies and odd jobs just to see if he finds anything that satisfies his curiosity. Whenever he does start a new hobby though, he is surprisingly good at it, a very fast learner... which is to his detriment because then he gets bored of it too quickly.

Paranoid: As the resident medic among the voices, Paranoid had to pick up gardening to grow some medicinal herbs. He initially hated it, but over time, he's actually grown to like it; it's quite theraputic. I think he would also enjoy realistic fiction or non-fiction reading.

Skeptic: I am convinced that Skeptic would be a linguistics nerd. Really into different languages and especially etymology. I think he would also enjoy journaling, specifically in shorthand (I stole that HC from a friend). No one else can ever read Skeptic's notes, and that's not even a joke-

That's all in addition to some occasional reading (especially mystery novels).

Smitten: Just like Paranoid is the resident medic, Smitten is the resident cook! And baker! And he is *very* good at what he does. He knows by heart everyone's favorite meals and desserts; he can make pretty much any dish if ingredients are available, and he can make a feast out of just potatoes (exaggerating, but not by much).

Yeah, the voices would all starve without Smitten /j

Opportunist: Oppy is a bit basic in terms of HCs and primarily enjoys some good card games. Even when he is not cheating, he is actually quite good at most of them, but of course, Opportunist knows very well how to sneak an ace or two if needed. I also he would he a sort-of-collector (another HC stolen from a friend), specifically collecting small shiny objects like coins and jewelry.

Hunted: When he knows it is safe to be outdoors, Hunted just loves to spend time in nature. If not for his skittish nature, he would've loved anything camping. But as is, he enjoys bird watching and maybe photography. Please don't ask why photography, I've warned you that some of these are weird.

Cheated: Gamer Cheated is an inevitable HC for me: card games, board games, video games, anything, Cheated loves it all. Unfortunately, he is Cheated, and he very, very often loses. It is typical for him to play a game, lose badly multiple times, get pissed off at it, and swear to never play that game again. But then he plays it again two days later. For a more random HC, I feel like he would like either model kits or soldering.

Contrarian: He is definitely an artist, maybe a sculptor, and is actually, surprisingly, a really good artist. But only when he wants to be. And he pretty much never does, so he uses all his skill on intentionally terrible shitposts. Once a year or two, he will feel inspired and actually make an absolutely breathtaking masterpiece, before immediately returning to shitposts.

That should be all! These are not entirely set in stone either, it's more of my first instincts + silly memes, but it was still a lot of fun to think about! Thanks for asking!!!

[zombieefish]

hi guys guess what

– — —

Cheesy calls out his latest order, giving the customer a playful wink, before looking out into the cafe. It was busy today, but it wasn't like he couldn't handle the rush. He'd been working here so long, that the fast pacing was part of his daily life – so this was nothing new.

And let's be honest – he was a people person by far.

His gaze lingers, sticking his tongue out to show that he was thinking – soon handing out another order like it was nothing. He wasn't the only person behind the counter, as Soap was working alongside him.

He noticed the same blonde who was a regular, sitting by himself. He hadn't ordered anything and had just.. sat there. Was he waiting for a date, or..?

Cheesy would pause his thoughts.

Well, looking at his facial expression, he seemed pissed. Maybe he came here to blow off steam, or maybe he got stood up. He wasn't sure what felt like the right option and began to bite his bottom lip in response.

Soap would avert her gaze, poking her finger into the shorter male's head.

"What, see something you like?" She'd raise a brow, looking down at the other with a faint smile. She and Cheesy were alright – he was nice, but she hated his jokes sometimes.

"Hey, it's a gouda sign, isn't it?" He began to laugh, his chuckles filling the room. So full of life and joy, some would say. Soap would roll her eyes, walking off to take more orders from customers waiting.

Trophy had been sitting there for the past fifteen minutes. This is what he gets for even asking people to come out for a drink with him when he barely knows them.

It was an idiotic move. As if they'd show up.

He huffed, mumbling a few curse words under his breath, rolling his eyes. So what? Who cares if they didn't show up?

"Doesn't bother me." He'd complain to himself, tapping his fingers on the desk while staring at the clock. He would hear the sound of footsteps coming his way and then see that barista he saw every other day.

He felt his face go warm.

No, go back to the way you were!

"Did somebody order a banana blast smoothie, or am I making it up?" The voice would ring through his ears like the chorus of a song, and he furrowed his brow – acting like he didn't enjoy listening to his voice.

"You made it up, twerp." Trophy scoffed. But he felt more gratitude at this gesture than he'd ever felt in his life.

Cheesy would ignore the obvious comment. "It's grate to see you! Did someone leave you here? Man, you're cheddar off without them." He'd dramatically sigh, before beginning to laugh once more, sitting down in the seat opposite Trophy.

Trophy glances down at the cup, seeing somethhing written on the front. It was just another stupid pun, and he'd furrow his brows even further.

Why did he even like this stupid barista again?

"Heey, there's gonna be a party down the block tonight– you should totally come! It'll be awesome, and trust me, I know awesome." Cheesy winked, leaning on his hand for support.

"I'm not going to some.. comedy-club nerd fest. Do I look like a dork to you, cheeseface?" Trophy said through a frown, but his mind secretly wanted him to go to that so called nerd fest.

"Cheesy, stop talking to that guy, and get back behind the counter! This is a two person job!" Soap's voice would almost echo through the coffee shop, but it was loud enough in there to mask it. He turned his head, and then it hit him that he'd left Soap to serve customers by herself.

"Coming, I'm coming!" Cheesy would hop out of the wooden chair, dashing off behind the counter to go help Soap.

"Yeah, bye.." Trophy mumbled, glancing back at the counter for a brief minute before turning back to his drink.

Maybe he would go to that party.

Just to see what it was like, obviously.. not for that loser behind the clutter.

— —

[breadeads]

I tried playing around this idea. I'm not a writer and to make it worse, english is like my third language please spare me 😭 also ooc damian? I'm not really the best with characterization since i only read a few of the actual comics 😭 Uh warning: A lot of the word Fuck which is normal if you get transported to another world without your consent.

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶

What… What the actual fuck.

You felt your entire world sway as you sat up from your bed. Still trying to wake up from sleep, you raised one hand to support your head. You could swear you felt like you got hit with a truck. "Fuck, shouldn't have tried to block that damned lizard's body slam."

As you raise your head, you got hit with how bright your room is. Wait, bright? Looking around you realized that this wasn't your room.

This is bad, really bad. This room is painted white with golden accents everywhere. It felt like this room screams ka-ching at every glance. Yes, the manor also screamed rich white guy but this is just much more. Like not billionaire kind of rich, it almost feels—royal family esque? You also noticed that your bed was too fancy, not that the manor's bed wasn't fancy. God knows Bruce pays a lot for those mattresses. This bed was fancy fancy. It had a canopy. A freaking canopy with what you hope wasn't real gold. What in the fucking bridgerton-historical-ass bed is this?

You quickly ripped the thick duvet off your body and tried to stand. Key note being tried. The moment you were upright, you quickly folded to your knees like a sad sad piece of soggy bacon. What the fuck? Was I drugged?

You look up and saw a beautiful person. They're probably around your age. They had long silky black hair and the prettiest blue eyes you've seen. Skin was almost porcelain —a doll like figure almost and they looked surprised. "Hey do you know-" as you opened your mouth theirs did the same. You tried to raise your hand and so did they. What the fuck? Wait WHAT THE FUCK-

That's when you realized, you were facing a mirror. The person you saw was you. Wait why do I look like that? Were you kidnapped and surgically got your face changed? Now that you look closer, the reflection did look like you. Well what you thought you would look like if you had a 40-step skin care routine and wasn't fist fighting probably slightly radioactive gothamites every night.

Were you kidnapped? Are you dreaming? Is this some sort of elaborate prank? That's it, you're going to smack the shit out of Jason and probably Steph.

Just as you were wallowing in panic the huge double doors to the room(your room) slammed open which revealed a rather pissed Damian, which is pretty normal and comforting cause even if you and Damian were not on the best terms, the attitude was familiar to you. He was wearing… What was he wearing? It looked like those clothes described in historical novels. Again what in the bridgerton-historical-ass shit is he wearing?

"Demo-"

"Pray, do you intend to further shame father by squandering the day in slothful behavior, you idle imbecile?" he hissed.

"Wait why do you talk li-"

"tt Have you so quickly forgotten that you are a Wayne now? Or do you mean to persist in this disgraceful behavior, as though you were still a common plebeian? Forget it. What did I expect from a whore's child. Honestly what was Father thinking when he took you in."

Holy victorian child. And I thought Damian spoke like an old man. I totally understood only a fourth of that.

He quickly left as he entered leaving more confusion than answers. You look at yourself in the mirror as horror quickly replaced your confusion, suddenly something just clicked in. "Oh God am I in a different universe?"

Wow, some child of the world's greatest detective huh?

I agree with anon that your story does give reincarnated into a villainess story vibe!

Since multiverse is canon in DC I would Imagine reader body swapping with a version of them in a fantasy historical universe but it's still batfam but this time it's Grand Duke Wayne. He is the himbo duke who inherited the dukedom when his parents died in a carriage accident. Plot twist they were assassinated by a rival noble family(Joker waz here). He still plays a dark knight who protects his people from the shadows, just less tech and more unhinged fist fighting and chains. Not in the kinky way kind of chains.

Reader is an illegitimate child born from a commoner woman that Bruce slept with when he went to a different kingdom as a diplomat. The only reason you were recognized as a Wayne was because your mother made a fuss and somehow you were taken in by Bruce.

Reader was not treated poorly but was also not treated well by the other older family members. They kinda just not existed in the manor. The other family members on the other hand seems to be hell bent on making your stay as terrible as possible. If you could give rating, you'd give it a 4/10. Awesome house, not so awesome family members, especially the stabby spite filled 10 years old. At least your Damian from the original universe wasn't this murder driven anymore.

Honestly I could see reader just going crazy from the lack of tech, high society shit, and the weird attention that the Waynes are giving her. Aren't hey supposed to hate her or something? Why are they looking at her like that? Also when will your Bruce even notice that you're gone, will they even notice you're gone?

yoo wait this is actually sick anon. you should probably write about this HAHA i would definitely love to read something like this because this lowkey gives off kill the villainess vibes (kind of, depends whether the reader in this wants to return to their og universe or not) 🫣🤭

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

So done with all the defeatism nonsense. Life keeps going. My girlfriend has her first job interview later this morning. I’ve got to fold my laundry. My friends and I have a d&d session later this week. We’re still going. You’ll keep going. I’ll drag your asses into the future kicking and screaming because they want you to lay down and die. And I’ll be damned if any of us do what they want.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

this cliff took more lives than i could on my own im losing it

[thecranekick]

hey so maybe i have a horrible memory and there’s a perfectly good reason for this that i can’t remember. but now that i think about it why did they have chozen take johnny around to look at rentals as if he’s chozen’s child that has never been on his own before and can’t handle normal human interaction. why would johnny not have gone with carmen, miguel, and robby to look at houses considering they’re presumably the ones that are going to live there and raise a newborn there?????? why do they all (and the writers in general) treat johnny like he’s completely incapable of doing anything ever???????

like i get that if the whole show was 100% realistic we wouldn’t really have a show (because let’s be honest, 90% of this show would just Never Happen), and i get the ‘comedic’ value of those scenes i guess, but come onnnnnn pleaaaaaase

[scrumptiousstuffs]

I know we all mostly focus on Khaotung but were there any questions about Kant or was First as pointless in the interview as his character is in the show?

Here is my answer - FUCK OFF

I have tried to ignore these sort of ask so many times. But it just keeps flooding my inbox. The amount that I keep deleting or ignoring these stupid asks is making me want to hire Bison and Fadel just to murder you lot.

You won’t get what you want from me. Just block me. I don’t know why you insist on trying to push your own narrow-minded views on me but like I have said before, you will not see me shading any of the boys here.

Get a life anon.

[spghtrbry]

so i’ve been. THINKING lately.

you can find many similarities in both stories but there are also huge differences…

in cain and abel’s story cain murders his younger brother because of his jealousy and because god preferred abel over him, which is obviously similar to how chuck’s pride made him envious of jimmy because he’s more likeable and made their mom laugh etcetera etcetera..but i’d say abel was a pure guy, he didn’t do anything bad, he was like. basically the purest human being at that time (well it’s not really difficult to be the best person when there’s like 4 people in the whole world and two of them literally got kicked out of heaven but anyway). and cain murdered him. which is clearly not the case with jimmy and chuck because obviously in the legal point of view chuck is a better person than jimmy …

and we’ve got esau and jacob, which is i think a really underrated story. i mean i love cain and abel but i think people often forget about those two. esau, (technically) an older brother, always gets tricked by jacob. jacob buys his birthright and steals his father’s blessing that was meant for esau. and esau rages at him because. i mean. that’s not a nice thing to do. but in the end jacob becomes one of the Main Characters in the genesis… personally i think this story is more… idk, specific? there’s just something about the younger brother constantly tricking the older to get what he wants, even though the reasons not always are completely selfish. BUT! in the end esau and jacob made peace which is (spoiler alert😨) not the case with chuck and jimmy ………..and also jacob didn’t really have a redemption arc and esau just. idk. moved on with his life. got a family and all that. so he basically became a normie. but yeah ANYWAYS!

so yeah. i’d really love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this one because i am a little bit insane about all this stuff as you probably noticed

(also if i messed something up or if im wrong anywhere please lmk lol it’s been a while since ive read the old testament…….)

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[crowcryptid]

I hate my job, man. I’ve told my boss so many times “can we please switch everyone over to printed forms instead of handwriting” and she waves me off saying she’ll talk to them about it. She never has.

no one listens.

What does this say? mulan? mulah? mulaw?

Nope, it’s mularo.

ok. Now the patients results have been delayed cause we couldn’t read the damn name.

guess what, we couldn’t read the insurance ID either so it’s delayed even more.

I requested that they clarify the name and insurance ID. They only sent the name. They’re closed on Fridays.

You have delayed the results a whole 4 days, congrats.

Then they complain to us that the results are delayed. Amazing.

I wonder why.

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: Two similar images of Viktor in the Paranatural au in a grocery store, pushing a cart and looking behind himself worriedly. He is surrounded by people going about their business, unable to see anything strange, including his mother. In the first image, the background is a photo of a grocery store aisle and Viktor's eyes are glowing, indicating that he is talking to his spirit. In the second, the landscape is white and gray and the architecture has turned into violin shapes. A giant spirit, the White Violin (based on Vanya post-surgery in the comics) reaches out towards Viktor, who is the only point of color in the scene. End ID.]

tfw you astrally project while grocery shopping and find a giant woman who really, really wants to kill you

(for those not in the know: in paranatural, when spectrals talk to their spirit, they go into a bullet time trance and the spirit changes what the world around them looks like. The White Violin makes the world black and white (mostly white), empty, and exclusively made up of melty and/or violin shapes. Also, the white violin is a wight and so "talking" doesn't really come into it very much)

(oh also, i based the background drawing off a screenshot i took of a supermarket 3d model made by richcontent on sketchfab, this appears to be their website: http://dougricho.com/. the actual photo i used is from an advertisement for shelving units)

[flying-cat]

It was crazy watching bkdk go from the most hated ship to the most popular ship in the fandom

[andoutofharm]

the thing about the fob healing tour is that it has filled me with so much vindication that now whenever i see Bad Fall Out Boy Opinions (of which so many people are so unnecessarily loud about) it’s literally just like lol okay so you missed the point so bad it makes you look stupid and we are all laughing at you. get laughed at loser we do not have time to entertain your silliness we are busy healing and partying together forever.

[silver--scar]

I had watched the episode "Professor Chaos" a while ago and like I just have to say something

What do you MEAN Pip lasted longer than Damien in the contest of replacing Kenny?! You mean to tell me that STAN, KYLE, and CARTMAN enjoyed THAT LIL BRIT'S PRESENCE more than THE LITERAL ANTICHRIST'S?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT THAT CARNIVAL?? IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT BAD (it probably was)

They bully Pip everyday, and they grew to accept Damien. Plus, being friends with the antichrist means you can get up to so much mischief without a worry of consequence (most of the time)! That's like every little boys' dream to have fun without getting in trouble. WHAT THE FUCK DOES PIP HAVE THAT DAMIEN DIDN'T?? YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THAT IT WASN'T RIGGED, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT

AND ANOTHER THING (this next part is a graphical error, I know, I just wanna have a bit of fun with it)

What the fuck was Damien planning to do? In the scene after the amusement park, they were calling out names on who got roses and made it to the next round. They DIDN'T call Damien, but he HAD a rose! But then he straight up leaves right after! He just gave up before he could even start! Was he planning to cheat and just decided it wasn't worth it? GOD it'd have been funny if he was cheating his way into the friend group (I'd think)

[jaybirdscoffee]

can someone explain to me why binding in any form when you have a large chest is hell no matter what you do