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seaistea · 1 year ago

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post fe rarepair week flora ramblings

I've never really talked about Flora much or why I love her (partially because I am very bad at explaining anything), but after rarepair week, I thought it would be nice to at least attempt to write about Flora in the context of ships, after drawing 5 of them lol.

so: 5 Flora ships I like + 1 I don't. (This is actually really long...)

Rinkah I will admit the ✨aesthetics✨ of the ship does come into play alot here. Heirs of the Ice and Fire Tribe lol. Also, I only really started actually liking this ship after reading this fic years ago. With the way Flora chose to go in BR, obviously there's symbolism in it, but then in the context of this ship, it just evokes a lot of feelingsTM. I like the idea that the fire Flora used being unable to be extinguished was solely due to her own guilt and suffering and determination..but I also do like the idea that it was literally special and something possibly from the fire tribe, and perhaps Rinkah could have known how to stop it. (both is good). Going into some parallels(?). Obviously they both feel a sense of responsibility to their family/tribe. Rinkah is very proud of her tribe, and generally can get heated up and act without thinking (although not always). On the other hand, I feel that Flora feels much more burdened by her responsibilities, and tends to hold herself back and hide how she's feeling. I'm not saying she hates her tribe or isn't proud of it, but their tribe's situations are really different, so it wouldn't be so straightforward for Flora. I never really got the vibe that Flora wants to be the heir of her tribe, but just accepts it as her reality so never considers anything else (beyond fantasies). I definitely think these two together would be really nice. They probably would clash over the different ways they handle themselves and their tribes, but eventually I think they would have a lot to learn from each other and can grow together :)

Kaze This is something in common with Rinkah, but I have kind of a vague mini AU idea of how when Corrin and co let Kaze and Rinkah go, they still ran into Flora on the way out. Flora let them go as well, and where things go from there is up in the air. Anyways, yes. I did initially ship these two due to their (possible) BR story deaths. I love tragic stories. Yes, they never would have met in BR, but that's why I have that mini AU idea lol. I like the ship in both flavors: they still end up as in BR, or they end up happy (somehow. after going through alot. or in some other AU. lol) Now more about their parallels. (I like my parallels....this won't be the last time I mention them....) Guilt is a large part of both their character arcs. And it leads both to their death. Kaze felt guilt over being unable to stop Corrin's kidnapping. How this "leads" to his death? Because he can be saved by reaching A support with Corrin. He is saved by becoming closer with Corrin, and choosing to be loyal to Corrin, not out of guilt, but because he wants to. So, by not reaching this conclusion (not reaching A), he is still feeling alot of guilt over Corrin's kidnapping, and doesn't entertain the idea that his life is worth trying to preserve, and just saves Corrin. It's not like he wanted to die, but in my interpretation, by no longer being weighed with guilt, he puts more value on not only his life but his friendship with Corrin, which is why he takes the time to think of a way to save them both (which I think was more risky than just saving Corrin). (how did this become about Kaze) (anyways) Flora's is way more obvious. She's guilty over betraying Corrin's trust (and her sister's and Jacob's). But she also can't stop. Her family and tribe is being threatened. So in her mind, by dying, she can both free herself of guilt (and probably still protect her remaining tribe (not that there was any guarantee Garon would have kept them alive anyway, but guilt and grief can really affect someone's thoughts/actions)). Kaze after the A support, and Flora by the time she joins in CQ and Rev, have both chosen to follow Corrin, not from guilt or with resentment, but because they truly want to. So anyways--I just think they would be really sweet together (past the tragedy lol). Helping each other learn to value themselves would be such a good dynamic.

Saizo So I actually started shipping Flora and Saizo after reading a Felicia/Kaze fic lmao. Yeah typical "woo twins cool" but really. To a lesser extent but similar to with Rinkah, Flora and Saizo have the ice/fire thing going on. Plus the responsibility to tribe/clan. The whole, being an older twin and trying to look after their sibling, is also a fun angle for them to bond over eventually lol. Personality-wise, I would be all like "opposites attract" and all that, but I actually don't think their personality is that different. I feel like they both don't outwardly show much personal emotion (well, kinda.), but really are pretty intense. Both Saizo and Flora can be opposed to their twin in the games (since Kaze and Felicia stick with Corrin on every route). They both try to take on things by themselves to a probably detrimental degree. I have less to say about this ship, because its kind of really similar to why I like Rinkah and Flora. These two would probably start out on an even worse foot than Rinkah and Flora though. I feel like Saizo would definitely not trust Flora considering Corrin fights Flora on all routes, but at the same time Flora was doing it to protect her tribe, so that could be the start to them slowly getting along. Makes the relationship improving over time satisfying :) lol

Azura I have so many feelings about these two. Truly a goldmine of parallels. (also ✨aesthetics✨ again with water&ice) While Azura was taken into an arguably better situation and environment and Flora wasn't, they were both technically taken as hostages. They both have someone in the same boat (Corrin for Azura, and Felicia for Flora) who is ignorant about the situation, and who they feel is more loved/favored than them. While Azura is treated relatively well in Hoshido, obviously not everyone is happy with her presence there and she still doesn't truly "belong," and is very aware of originally only being there as a way to try to retrieve Corrin. With Corrin, Azura pushes them as the one who is supposed to be there, and witnesses both royal families try to bring Corrin home, while she is relatively forgotten. Flora on the other hand has Felicia with her, but Felicia doesn't know about their situation. Flora feels a sense of responsibility to protect her sister, but that definitely also does lead to a sense of being "less" in my opinion. They were kids when they were sent away from their tribe, and I understand why Flora and not Felicia was told the situation (one of them *should* know, but might as well protect the other) but still. They were little, and since they're twins, they are the same age so the only reason Flora was the one told is that she is "older" and the heir. But to Flora, it could feel like Felicia is more important to keep safe/happy rather than having them both share the burden (while also wanting to keep Felicia safe. Conflicting feelings are a thing.) They both have (in my opinion) self-worth issues (related to the above lol). (I have a hard time articulating this but I'll try) Azura, in BR and CQ, essentially chooses to sacrifice herself. She takes on the burden of stopping Anankos (I suppose inherited knowledge from her mother) without really letting anyone know (partially due to the curse but still). Maybe there wasn't any other way she could see to move forward, but that doesn't change the fact that she felt it was fine to sacrifice herself, and not try to find some way to tell Corrin what she is doing. Flora's self-worth issues come a lot from her relationship with her family/tribe. Since she was little, Felicia was always better at fighting than her, so Flora was never praised for it by their father (which also contributes to feeling less loved). As the heir, it would make her feel inadequate (and she herself admits she is jealous of Felicia). So uh yeah. I think having these two with their bundle of issues grow closer would be so so good. They could totally!! learn to love themselves!! together!! and learn to share their burdens/ask for help!! ahhh ...and a bit off topic but I have an Azura and Flora-centric AU (not necessarily a relationship with them) where Garon somehow found out the plot to kidnap Azura to try to get Corrin back, so he switches Flora in her place, so Flora gets kidnapped to Hoshido...the possibilities with Azura growing up with the Nohrian royals. And Flora somehow having to live in Hoshido alone, while Felicia is left behind in Nohr. (sorry i just love this AU idea)

F!Corrin Yes, specifically F! and not M! Corrin. Mostly because of why I originally started shipping them + F!Corrin is more associated with Nohr, which I prefer. Anyways; Flora and Corrin was my first Flora ship, and is still my preferred one if I *had* to pick. (no one asked, but Azura is my second pick) So I started shipping these two because of their support conversation. I just immediately loved how sweet it is. I mean!!?? Flora secretly going to wish for Corrin's wish to be granted, and Corrin's wish is for Flora to find happiness!?!?! It's so so good. Anyways, with Corrin, I want to talk about Flora's life and feelings growing up as a hostage in Nohr. Unlike Felicia and Jakob, Flora obviously wasn't entirely loyal to Corrin. She is entirely aware she is a hostage. I think Flora, while living as a servant in Nohr, initially feels resentment towards Corrin (and the other Nohr royals). With Corrin, it's a bit different though. I'm actually not sure that Flora knew that Corrin was kidnapped from Hoshido, but under the assumption she does know, I think Flora would feel more personal resentment as a result of Corrin also being essentially a hostage, but being treated so well while being ignorant. It's not really a rational reason, but feelings are feelings. Over time, I feel Flora would come to care about Corrin in her own way, but would try to ignore/forget it/pretend to herself she doesn't, considering her status as a hostage and loyalty to her tribe. By the time she joins Corrin in game, she has chosen to follow Corrin herself. No outside coercion. She finally decides to be loyal to Corrin after witnessing her character (and being able to ensure her tribe is safe). After Flora finally can stop being weighed down by her situation, it opens up the possibility of...opening up. She definitely wouldn't open up right away though. The effect of years of living as a hostage doesn't just go away. And as she (and her sister) choose to continue to serve Corrin, there is still the master/retainer distance. But eventually they can get closer (and with Corrin being Corrin) be more on the level of equals. And obviously they care about each other (i am still screaming about the support conversation). I just love them.

Jakob OK, after all that, here is the one ship I want to talk about that I don't actually ship, and how I choose to interpret it. I don't care if others ship Flora and Jakob, but just I personally don't. But I wanted to talk about it because of Flora's canonical crush on him. (preface with: this is my chosen interpretation, you can disagree) I don't think Flora could have been really happy with Jakob. Perhaps if they had met in some other way than canon. But as it is, they were servants to the Nohrian royal family, and Jakob specifically is incredibly devoted to Corrin. On the other hand (regardless of how she ultimately ended up feeling), Flora was a hostage, and aware of it (already went into this with my explanation of my Flora and Corrin ship). To me, their relationship is too entwined with being in service to Corrin, because that is their life as they know each other. They don't really have a "work life" and separate "home life." If they got together and were no longer servants, I feel like it would be a constant reminder of the past (in addition to the fact that Jakob I'm sure would still be devoted to Corrin) (Why I think this isn't a problem with Corrin: if Flora and Corrin were together, they'd be together as equals, decidedly different from the past where Flora was a servant) (Why I think this isn't a problem with Kaze and Saizo: an important part of this is that Jakob and Flora serve Corrin together for years. and it's during the years of Flora being a hostage, which once again, I already talked about. with Kaze and Saizo, there isn't really that baggage, and at the time they would have really met, Flora would have been choosing to be there.) A ship dynamic where both characters mutually agree/know (verbally or not) that one or both of them put someone else over their SO can work, and in fact I think is very interesting! I just don't think it works with these two. And I don't think Jakob could never put his SO over Corrin. It's just specifically with Flora, as I mentioned, their life is so entwined with doing just that. And for Flora, I don't think she could ever be completely happy with that (due to insecurities and such that I also went into with Flora and Azura). As for Flora's crush on Jakob; it can be taken at face value. She likes him. People have crushes. the end. lol. But, for why (I think/interpret) she likes him. I think a part of why she likes him is for a sense of normalcy. I think this is subconscious, I don't think she's like "I'm going to like Jakob to feel normal" lmao. But like, since she was young, she's been made to be a servant as a hostage. There isn't really any respite from this. She's there, in the castle. Not like she can say she's going on vacation and take off for a break from being a hostage. So just simply liking someone, was something of her own. That couldn't be taken from her, couldn't be forced. Does this mean she doesn't actually like Jakob? No. I do believe she does. In a way, I feel she ironically put him on a pedestal, and made him unreachable for herself (so that even Corrin was more "in reach" than him).

Anyways. That concludes my ramblings on Flora through the lens of shipping, though I don't think I actually talked about the ships that much, rather than parallels. lol. I hope it at least made some sense. Sorry if there were some inaccuracies(?), this is all my interpretations based mostly on my memory of things.

also happy new year! 🎉 :P

#fire emblem fates #fire emblem if #flora fire emblem #character analysis #ship analysis #i love you flora #my post

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linkspooky · 2 years ago

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What do you think about the recent trend of the evil Superman? It has become more popular to portray a Superman like character as evil and even in the movies they seem more interested in showing Superman turning evil in the future rather than a symbol of hope.

This is a question I can answer despite not being super familiar with superman's lore, because I just spent a really long time going through the entirety of the Injustice Comics.

Which I think is the best example of evil superman, because in those comics themselves Clark does not really believe himself to be the bad guy and that is the problem in itself. Superman's fall from grace in those comics comes when he starts using his power not to save, but to punish perceived evil in the world around him, because he believes things like enforced police state rules, and him using his powers to assume more political control over the world will lead to him saving more people. Except it's not saving anyone. It's not about other people either, it's about Clark and his need for safety and control after suffering this huge loss in his life.

I actually think evil superman arcs are fine when they come from people who understand Clark as a character. Clark is ultimately just a human. Like he's just a dude. Everyone makes a big deal on how he's the last son of Krypton and obviously like the loss of his birth parents and his home planet is a huge part of him, but life on earth is the only life he's ever known. He was raised on earth by two normal people as parents who never treated him differently than any other child. On all levels except for biological he is a human. In fact Clark's greatest hero and inspiration is batman, because batman is a normal person with no powers who has chosen to do good anyway.

This is the mistake a lot of people make with Clark's characters, they see him as a kryptonian, or a set of super powers first. Clark Kent is like, an interpretation of the Nietzschian idea of the ubermensch. He is a man who has the ability to rise up above normal people and become a hero. However, he's like based off of the interpretation of two jewish men of that very nietzschian idea which I think is incredibly important to who Clark is as a character. Clark is the Superman, not because he has incredible powers he is gifted with, not because of any inherent superiority he is born with, but because he's just a normal person who chooses to do good. His hero is batman. Clark loves Dick Grayson. Nightwing is based off of a krytponian fairytale that Clark shared with Dick. Clark Kent is not a secret identity or even a cover for who Superman, Clark Kent is him. You could say Bruce Wayne is an act on some level for Batman though I don't interpret it this way, but there's way more pull between the batman identities and the Bruce Wayne identity. Then there is for Clark. Clark Kent is Superman. Superman is Clark Kent. They're just the same dude.

Which is why the conflict in Injustice comes not from Superman's powers corrupting him, but Clark using touch with his humanity by the loss of his connections in his life and to the world. Clark loses Lois and his child yes, but on top of that it's cited in Injustice 2 several times that Clark would never have gone as bad as he did if Bruce had been able to accept Clark and comfort him after the loss of Lois and his murder of the joker, rather than just abandoning him and leaving him to his own devices when he was crying out for a friend to help him. Clark goes bad in injustice not because of any inherent quality to Clark himself, but rather just like any person when he has his place in the world ripped from him, and loses all sense of control, he in his grief starts controlling both the people around him and the world at large to regain that sense of control.

So basically, I think when evil superman stories are from treating Clark as a human being and a person reacting to trauma, rather than a set of powers.

Invincible is another good evil superman story, though I would argue the evil superman in question in that story is not Clark, he's not even Clark adjacent. Clark is pretty much a human, whereas Omni Man is an alien, and not only that but one who believes he comes from a superior culture that has every right to dominate and colonise earth because their abilities and technology make them inherently superior. Clark is a character who never believes himself to be superior than the average dude, in fact he's just an average dude who just chooses to do good. Omin-Man comes from a culture that believes in racial superiority, and for most of his time onscreen totally buys that and practices it. So they're almost two entirely different characters, they just have similiar power sets.

Which I think is a common problem with the way modern audiences perceive Clark in general, as a set of powers. Clark isn't really superman, superman is just one of the ways Clark helps people. Clark is just Clark.

#askspookies

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persephoneflouwers · 2 years ago

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So I read your posts about Saturdays and I agree with your analysis, I liked them a lot, thanks for making them because I couldn't put some thoughts into words like you did. What I was going with this anon is that I don't understand why when Louis sang it live there was a sea of rainbows. I'm not against it or anything, I really love everything and the different interpretations seem perfect to me. But I don't understand how they connect Saturdays with something related to the community? I ask you why you can explain me better. I thought that maybe how the melody can convey hope to you, something like "yes, we said that Saturdays take away the pain but it's not always like that, and that's fine" and as if as the song progresses everything intensifies until it reaches the boom and yell "today may not be okay, my heart may be broken, but this isn't always going to be this way either, and it's okay because I'm going to be!" I don't know if what I said is logical but it's just thoughts I had at 1:30 am hahaha sorry for bothering you, I hope you're well :))

Hi angel! How are you? Thank you for asking. Saturdays is a layered song, it’s not easy to extract the true meaning and obviously every analysis is personal and super-valid. I was surprised to see the rainbows during the song ngl! Saturdays is such a melancholic song and maybe people like to involve it during fan actions because the slow tempo and the emotional burden it carries help building an intimate moment with all the flags and colours. Personally I would choose different songs for rainbows (bigger than me would be my first choice!).

If we go a bit through the lyrics of Saturdays, they don’t stand out as very queer to me. But that’s my interpretation and I can’t really talk over how a song can resonate for other fans. There are some lines that can recall this image of belonging to a queer community. For example “I’m not supposed to be feeling dirty cheap in Silver street”. It can be read as “i’m alone (dirty cheap) in a crowd (silver street)”, like a way of saying he struggles to find his place in a community where he doesn’t feel like he belongs entirely because he’s not out? Is he acknowledging the fact that his public image doesn’t meet the community standards in a way? Idk. This feels a bit forced and too much projection imo. That’s why my interpretation of the song goes in a complete different direction.

What I find extremely interesting when it comes to Louis’s songs is how constant such themes happen to be. Of course, I don’t know what they mean to him but this consistency helps me figure out.

He mentions change/changes/changing a lot in his songs. There are songs where he says change is inevitable and others where he says nothing changes. I don’t think he is contradicting himself (possible, but I like to give things a deep meaning usually). I think he refers to changes in different ways because he’s approaching changes in different moments, situations. I will elaborate my thoughts a bit. And I’m sorry this is taking so long to reply… anyway. Let’s report how many times Louis talks about this topic in his songs:

The Greatest: time came and changed it all

Bigger Than Me: when somebody told me I would change

Saturdays: some things change

Common People: nothing’s changed

Holding Onto Heartache: the nights they changed in seasons

Change: everything has changed, but I feel the same inside.

High in California: spent my whole life just thinking I had to change

COACOAC is the epitome of things that don’t change.

I listened to walls after a loooong time and AFAIK this topic/word are not in it. There are references to changes VS something that remains the same tho. Habit, Always you etc give this idea of a person/a thing that stays when everything around is somehow changing. Surprisingly Perfect Now has the line don’t ever change, which made my heart happy cause I love PN and she didn’t deserve the treatment she got starting from Louis and from all fans too but alas.

Where I am going with this is clearly change(s) are a huge topic in Louis’ music. I know my method of analysis is too scientific but making a list of how he approaches the topic in his songs allows me to distinguish 2 big categories that I will label as “Change YES” and “Change NO” lol.

I can’t go on for ever about this, I’ll cut it short. To me, when he wants to talk about the person he is or wants to be, about his personal journey with his sexuality, inner struggles and/or inner emotional fights, his resolution is clear: he’s not changed. He embraces it and accepts it (when you know, you know in OTB / I can tell you’re the same as me in ATT / all the above mentioned examples). My point is when he speaks on his queerness experience or the perception of it, he seems pretty sure he can’t change. Just to elaborate it a bit: somebody told him he would change in BTM, meaning he hasn’t changed and we knew already because he had made it pretty clear in Change and obviously in COACOAC.

When he’s talking about daily life things, ordinary things… well shit happens and he knows it. He knows some events can happen that will change more or less you and the way you go on with your days. Events like grief, hiatus, decisions from when you were 18… do you see what I mean?

That’s a pretty safe key for me to interpret his songs actually. Of course, I may be wrong! But til now, this Change YES/NO algorithm (lol) has helped me navigate his lyrics with a clear idea in mind. My opinion might be a little biased since I associate the poetics of Saturday as a concept to the poets I’ve read before with the theory of pleasure and stuff, but it makes sense to me like this for now!

We could write a similar post about the way he drops light/dark theme too, but that’s another story.

Hope this answered your question and thank you for asking <3

#saturdays is my second child #and all the tags for saturdays #waiting to post my saturdays commentary post #i can finally write down my saturdays analysis #i will not ruin the party with my take on saturdays #saturdays analysis #saturdays by louis tomlinson #lyrics analysis #fitf lyrics

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halfmoth-halfman · 1 year ago

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Okay so going back to the fact that me and the devil is canary's song..

While you could appoint it to her relationship with many of the main men in the fic I think it especially applies to her and graves just because the lyrics fit so well to their dynamic

Like the lyrics, "me and the devil walking side by side" is quite obviously yknow THEM but graves truly is the devil to canary and the people around, like price has always treated her with respect (not without his flaws of course) I can't say the same for makorov of course but graves ABUSED AND MANIPULATED canary way before any other character came into the picture (makorvov esp) so like she doesnt know him to be any different, he really is the devil to her

there's also the lyrics,

"And I'm gonna see my man until I get satisfied" could be canary singing about her and price and their affair, the way she choose price over graves (rightfully so) and how graves was so pissed about it and her defiance and her finally getting her freedom from graves

"Peple dogging me around" is absoubletly graves and his manipulation and his abuse towards canary over the course of their marriage

And then of my fav points, "it must be that old evil spirit so deep down in your ground" IS ABSOUBLETLY ABOUT ADLER AND HOW HE TOOK GRAVES ON AS HIS OWN... HIS GREED AND LUST FOR POWER SEEPING IN AND CORRUPTING GRAVES, (not saying he wasn't already corrupted) but the way that graves' greed for power and controll over every aspect of his and canarys life definetly comes from adler and his teachings that he installed in him when he first took him on, and how it affected canary through their marriage

Moving on to, "you may bury my body down by the highway side" now I think this is canary basically telling graves that it doesn't matter what he does to her , he can pretend that he was adler's son, and the estate belongs to him etc etc, but at the end of the day canary will always be in the back of his mind, deep down he knows that everything he has is down to her and IS ACTUALLY HERS and he had to live with that

Anyway this is just my interpretation, and ofcourse you can applies this to any character and canary really, (price, graves, adler, makorvov) but that's just my view

(Sorry this was so long 😭)

🍒🍒

yes yes yes i am loving this

like with price, he was charming and respected her (for the most part) and with makarov, canary knew what kind of man he was going to be before she ever met him, but graves?? graves was the ultimate betrayal she didn't see coming because she truly did love him and he manipulated her and while he may never have hit her (until the last chapters) he absolutely did abuse her and was more than happy to let other people abuse her too. even adler, who was without a doubt awful to her, would never have let that happen to her.

and the second part about her choosing price over graves??? absolutely. esp given that she chose price over him and then worked with price to take graves and makarov down even though she didn't fully trust him. that had to really sting for graves because she's always forgiven him before, always looked the other way but that was because she had no choice and he's convinced himself that it was because she felt some kind of attachment to him. and now that she has options and she so easily would pick price over him, that she would dare to pick anyone but him???

"People dogging me around" is soooo much graves, but i think it also fits adler and his treatment of her through her childhood. like graves was awful to her, but that animosity toward her started from adler and i think to some extent graves learned that manipulating her wasn't something to be ashamed of because he watched adler do it too.

YES!! regardless of whether adler meant to or not, he essentially raised graves to see his treatment of canary as okay and something that had to be done to secure his power. of course graves could've ended up like that had adler never taken him in because he still would've been part of adler's empire, but it would've been nowhere near the extent it became where he was willing to work with makarov. and he def would have never been able to get close enough to canary to be able to manipulate her into marriage. while canary def has some of adler's anger and his want for violent justice, graves is absolutely all of the worst parts of adler put together.

i wholeheartedly agree with this. and you can kind of see that in graves's mind in the final chapter. he knows that canary is out of his league, that he only had her and only ever would've gotten her through manipulation because at the end of the day, she's russell adler's daughter. everything he has belongs to her, and it doesn't matter how close graves thought he was with adler; the only reason he has the wealth, the power that he has now is because of her and she could take it all away with a wave of her hand. he will always know he didn't earn a single thing he has, and that whether canary had died or lived, adler never cared enough for him because he's not family.

omg pls don't apologize, this was lovely and such a good interpretation!! i could talk about the canary/adler/graves dynamics all day!! 💜

#anon #🍒#moth answers #answered #cod ask #private

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thatgirl4815 · 3 years ago

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Ep4 vs. Ep5 Aesthetics

I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I can’t resist addressing it any longer: the romanticism of the love scene. I have seen a lot of discussions surrounding it from radically different perspectives. Yes, aesthetically, it was beautiful. Free Fall instrumental version? Sign me up. Not to mention the cinematography, which could be a whole separate post on its own. But we already have many lovely posts about that, so I won’t belabor the point.

I, like many others, was a bit hesitant when reflecting on the end of Ep4 because as much as I liked the aesthetics and cinematography, I also felt a degree of guilt for enjoying it while one of the participants was so obviously not there (or, at least, not fully there). So why did the creators choose to execute this scene so beautifully, when they have proven time and time again that they know it was a moral transgression on Kinn’s part?

Picking Apart the Aesthetics

After watching Ep5, I understand the cinematographic choices much more. As many others have pointed out, the love scene shows a lot more of Porsche than it does of Kinn. Seeing how the show frames a lot of its scenes around the perspective of one character, it makes sense now why the scene felt so romantic. We see Porsche up close the entire time. We see his facial expressions. Meanwhile, we get only a few side shots of Kinn. This leads me to, at least initially, view the love scene from Kinn’s eyes.

Now we come to Porsche’s flashbacks in Ep5, particularly when he’s in the bathroom. Now, I don’t have a whole lot of evidence to back this up, but while there is still an emphasis on Porsche (he’s reflecting on how he felt in that moment, after all), Kinn seems more visible overall in both this scene and in Porsche’s flashbacks a little later in the episode. The shots themselves look similar to the shots included in Ep4, but the strongest difference between Ep4 and 5 is the music. In the bathroom flashback scene, everything is tense. Porsche is literally playing with fire, he’s afraid, he’s confused, perhaps even angry. He sees himself in a state of what looks like bliss, but the way it is shot (paired with the music) makes everything uncomfortable. He even looks a bit crazy in that shot, which is probably an accurate reflection of how Porsche is feeling as he recalls it (it’s also a bit blurry, unlike the Ep4 scene, showing that even though he remembers what happened, he can’t trust it).

This leads me to two quarreling interpretations of the full love scene shown in Ep4. That 1) like I said before, the scene is shown more from Kinn’s perspective or 2) the creators wished to emphasize that while it was happening, it felt romantic for Porsche too. If this is the case, then the romanticism was intentional to reflect Porsche’s bliss in that moment (leaving him even more confused later). Of course, we know that he perceives it much differently when he is sober, but I think that’s the point. We’re then left with Porsche’s conflict: are the drugs fully responsible for how he felt, or are there real feelings beneath that? I think that’s what he is battling with for much of Ep5. (Note that I’m not arguing whether he thinks the sex was consensual or not, but rather, if there was any subconscious desire there.)

Ok, so it’s fully possible that that made no sense whatsoever. But it’s worth considering not just how beautiful the cinematography/aesthetics are (believe me, I could talk about them all day), but why they were shot that way in the first place. I don’t think it’s merely that the creators wanted to show their love scene in a positive light but...these are the leads, after all. Nobody wants to watch the leads have a grotesque love scene when we’re supposed to be rooting for them.

Anyways, I think there’s a fine line between appreciating/understanding the aesthetics of the love scene and acknowledging that the sex itself was wrong. There’s just so much to unpack here. I want to know how others interpreted the scene from Ep4 and how it was portrayed in Ep5, because even after writing this post, I’m not sure how to think about it.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinn x porsche #kinn and porsche #kinn anakinn #porsche pachara #kinn porsche #I love cinematography so I wanted to address this because I think there was a reason why it seems romanticized so much in the original scene #But I'd love to discuss this or other scenes more #ask me anything #Ask

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wenellyb · 4 years ago

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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kokitschi · 2 years ago

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"like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call."

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT NOOO. but YES omg that. plays SUCH a part. he's trying SO hard to make himself completely logical and cold and calculating to help everyone without all those silly caveats. but he's HUMAN and he FEELS and he's doing this to help everyone and he feels so so bad about everything he's doing (except he's not, obviously, that's sooo dumb why would he feel bad about helping everyone? you're so dumb :/ NO HE'S NOT CRYING SHUT UP)

ohh and that SO helps him detach from everything doesn't it. he so THOROUGHLY sees himself as the antagonist because of his own guilt that he starts planning his own downfall, literally becoming his own worst enemy because he cannot let this shit continue but also he's the one doing it? and it's for the good of everyone? but that's what every villain says.

(man writes his own narrative. tsumugi who?)

(no seriously my most self-indulgent headcanon is that so much of kokichi's bullshit was completely unplanned. like they wrote the characters and some of their progression but they did NOT plan for this so every time some more crazy bullshit happens and tsumugi's got her whole "omg O_O that's so weird guys!!" schtick going it's almost COMPLETELY genuine because internally she's genuinely just going "what the fuck??? i did not sign up for this shit." layers upon layers of pretending. also it's my silly little way of letting kokichi win in my brain. because he DID confuse the mastermind. even if it was mostly just a series of inconveniences.)

anyway your brain is iconic. got me rotating.

im still not over how many crying sprites this guy has - and i also think it's pretty clear when he's fake crying and when he isn't and he certainly was crying for real after the fourth trial.

i think it's very wonderful how emotional he actually is - like, yes, he's logical, smart and he can be cold af. but he also gets happy and sad, he gets devastated and super angry, he gets annoyed and he gets proud. and sure, sometimes he does exaggerate and he lies (a lot) - but i don't think it's all lies. i think he likes to pretend like it is though. and well, what's that one quote... "he wears a mask and his face grows to fit it" or smth like that

and i think that's an important aspect - because no matter how much you tell yourself that it's just a role, a mask - in the end you're still the one doing everything. you are how you act.

and i think kokichis very self aware in this aspect. ch 4 happens and he knows, this isn't something he can come back from. he fucked up beyond repair. and while he did already believe himself to be the villain, and perhaps this was a self fulfilling prophecy of a kind, i think actually having something like basically killing two people on your conscience gives it a whole different weight.

i think he had to confront the reality at this point and i think it made him despair a bit - which then leads to the kamikaze plan. (because why does someone who was just willing to sacrifice two people for his own survival suddenly choose to basically kill himself? and trust someone else to end the game?)

i love the hc that kokichi did genuinely derail the whole game! i think it's credible enough too, considering the absolute mess that was chapter 6.

and monokuma sometimes really seemed to have personal beef with him which to me says that he was actually getting pissed at him lol

tsumugi also seemed to be quite wary of him - though you can also interpret that as her setting him up as the antagonist ig. i think it was both.

my brain is very honored ♥️

i very much enjoy yours too :D

#i hope my word vomit made sense lol #it's like 3am for me #tbh i personally still believe that kokichi faked his death 🧍#the crux of the argument is that we never saw his corpse and that's like mystery genre 101 #no body no death #there's more hints towards it but i kinda forgot some but there's write ups around #but that would also come with a lot of new questions and youd have to recontextualize and stuff

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years ago

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perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance”

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier #i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth #this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me #perfect now analysis #lyric analysis #my posts #parallels

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danielxricciardo · 4 years ago

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Can you do one with Dani? Maybe with 56&58 from angst prompts, like they have a kid from a fling but aren’t dating/together

Summary: You have a daughter with Daniel from a one-night stand.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

Word count: 1.7k

56. “I was alone with my baby. My own thoughts terrified me. And you never bothered to call.”

58. “I keep trying to be a better mother, even when everything I do seems to backfire.”

You can boast that up until the age of 22 you were a model person.

You were the perfect daughter: you were home every holiday or birthday, you never argued with your parents and you made sure to call them every day since you moved out of their home.

You were the perfect older sister: you gave your younger siblings money without your parents' knowledge, you helped them when they asked for your help, and you tried to give them advice when they needed it.

You were the perfect friend: when your friends called you that they needed a shoulder to cry on, you were right next to them with a box of ice cream.

You were the perfect employee: you always got to work earlier, you stayed after-hours to finish all your work and to help others and you did your job perfectly.

But now you're 24 and everything is fucked up.

You moved in with your parents again and you no longer have that perfect relationship with them. You resigned from your job and from all the gang of friends you had, you were left with only one friend: Emilia.

Why?

Because now you had a daughter, resulting from a one-night stand.

You were a single mother who relied on the help and support of those around her.

Given that there was nothing more than a one-night stand between you and Kiera's father on your birthday night, you didn't know if it would be appropriate to post him on Instagram and say, 'Hey, 'sup, I don't know if you remember me, you drank a lot of whiskey that night, but we fucked and now you have a baby. Congratulations!' What kind of psychopath does that?

Not to mention that he is a public figure, of course, he wouldn't believe you and say you're just a money-obsessed girl; that if he saw the message on Instagram, obviously.

But it was going to be your daughter's second birthday and you were starting to get remorseful. Sure, you accepted your life as a single mother and you knew you wouldn't have a happy ending like in the princess books you read to Kiara, but it wasn't right for your daughter. She needs a father in her life. And it wasn't fair for Daniel not to know he had a daughter. Of course, you can only tell him and it is up to him to choose what to do with this information: whether he wants to be part of Kiara's life or not. At least you would have tried.

That weekend was going to be the Grand Prix of Great Britain and you didn't do much flying there, and, anyway, you could stay with your cousin you haven't seen in about 5 years.

Although your daughter's father was a well-known Formula 1 driver, you have never been to a race, and you were amazed by the very high prices for a ticket with access to the paddock.

You had a choice of which day to go and tell Daniel, probably, the news of his life.

You were sure you didn't want to tell him on Sunday. Before the race? Maybe he had an accident and he would have hurt himself. So no.

Saturday? Before qualifying? If you had told him then he would have gone to qualifications, he would not have focused and he would have come out on a low position. So no.

So you decided on Friday.

You left your cousin's house in the morning for the circuit where the race took place. You passed security without a problem with Kiara. You could walk through the paddock without any problems looking for your baby's father.

You knew that the best chance of finding Daniel was to go to McLaren Hospitality. On the way there, everyone you met stopped to look at Kaira, wondering how beautiful she was. You thanked them and prayed that they would not realize that she was Daniel's daughter, considering that she was almost identical to him; you could take her curly hair and smile as a positive result of the paternity test.

"What a beautiful baby!" you hear a girl standing in front of Red Bull Racing with Max Verstappen, and you immediately realize it's Kelly Piquet; good thing you documented yourself before you came.

You see her come and lean over the stroller.

"Oh my God, what beautiful eyes she has! What's her name?"

"Kiara," you answer and you look panicked as Max comes towards you.

"Look, Max! Isn't she a beautiful girl?"

Max smiles. "Yes, she is."

"What is such a small child doing here? She's going to hear very loud noises."

Damn it. What would you answer now?

"We came to walk around and meet some drivers," you answer as convincingly as you can. "It's never too early to start, right?" you giggle.

The two laughed, apparently they believed you.

But you immediately felt your legs soften and you saw Daniel walking with his teammate. You bit your lip and held on to the stroller better. All the courage left you and you wanted to leave.

"A baby!" Lando gasps and comes towards you.

Wonderful! Everyone behaved as if they had never seen a baby in their life, pathetic.

Daniel came after him, looking at you strangely. Did he recognize you? He also looks at Kiera and smiles.

You could've died there. You wanted to cry and you couldn't take your eyes off Daniel.

The next thing you saw was black.

You woke up lying on a bed, someone was holding a cold water pad on your forehead. And your head hurt a hell of a lot.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lando, who was next to you asks.

"Mhm, my head hurts."

"Oh, yes, you hit yourself a little when you fainted but a doctor came and consulted you while you were still unconscious and said you were fine. Can I get you something?"

"Just water."

"Coming right now," he says and gets up from next to you, leaving the room.

Kiera! Where was she? You get out of bed immediately, even though it made your head spin and you felt like throwing up.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down!" Daniel says and gets up from his chair with Kiera in his arms.

You look at Kiera and breathe a sigh of relief.

"You seem so familiar to me," says Daniel and you want to faint again. "What's your name?"

"Y/N."

He seemed to be thinking. He didn't know how he knew you and you were afraid to tell him anything now.

"Wait! Spain, 2 years ago! It was like your birthday and we did shots together, right?"

Fuck. He remembered.

"Yes."

Daniel was smiling. Did he only remember the shots in the club?

"About that night..." you say and catch Daniel's attention. You signal to Kiera who is playing with some keys in Daniel's arms.

Daniel looked at the little girl and it was as if you could see the wheels spinning in his head.

"Wait a minute..."

"I brought you water, do you feel bet-"

"Go away!" Daniel shouts at Lando. Lando gets scared and gives you your water bottle then leaves. "What were you saying?"

You bite your lip.

"Kiera is your daughter."

"Dada!"

Daniel was speechless. His eyes were wide and they seemed to be coming out of their sockets and he was looking at Kiera. You didn't know how to interpret his reaction.

"Are you serious?"

"I don't know why you think I'm kidding."

"Are you sure I'm the father?"

You snort and get out of bed, you go to him and take Kiera out of his arms.

"What do you think? That I go to different wealthy men and tell them that they have a baby with me to give me money? I came to tell you because I thought Kiera would do well to have a father in her life. But I see that her father is not interested at all. You haven't even called me in all these years."

Daniel frowns and looks at you.

"What are you talking about?"

"The next morning I woke up before you and left my phone number on a note. I left it on your nightstand."

All the color was drained from his face.

"I didn't see the note."

You snort again.

“I realize it was a bad idea. I was alone with my baby. My own thoughts terrified me. And you never bothered to call.” you say and a few tears run down your face.

"Hey, hey, hey! You don't get to cry! I found out I lost the first few years of her life! You should have come earlier to tell me! You could come here, I don't know, you could contact me on Facebook, Instagram!"

"Yeah, sure! You doubted me now, if you'd have woken up with a message from me on Instagram you would have believed me immediately!"

"I believe you now," he says and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Please, I want to know more about her life. Can you stay?"

You looked at him with tears in your eyes. Is this really happening?

You both sat on the bed and Daniel took his daughter in his arms.

"Her full name is Kiera Hazel. In two weeks she'll be 2 years old." you start saying it with a big smile on your face. "Her first word was 'dada'."

Daniel laughs and looks at her.

"Was it hard to raise her alone so far?"

“I keep trying to be a better mother, even when everything I do seems to backfire. I had to resign from work because I couldn't divide my time between work and her, I moved back with my parents... All my friends left me, so yes, it's been pretty hard. But it's worth it when I see her smile.”

"I'm sorry you had to go through this alone. If you allow me, I want to be in her life. I want to help you."

"That will be great, actually," you smile.

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swaggy-pregnant-elf-man · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,985 times in 2022

That's 1,767 more posts than 2021!

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I tagged 1,232 of my posts in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

HELP ITS ME SUMI

The londoner in ur birmie squad sjdhhdf

i am so sorry bro i dont think i am who u think i am 😭😭

8 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

aras have you seen the Joan of Arc outfit yet

I HAVE NOW KSKDKLEODJ DKDOEOL I AM GOING RVEN MORE INSANE GOING TO WATCH THE STREAM NOW

10 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

3000 posts!

ashamed 😔

16 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

clownwife

19 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love the energy and all and I don’t want to offend but as a Muslim girl i can tell you that it is literally haram to identify as anything other than your god given gender. Like I’m not trying to be rude and I’m glad that there a respectful supportive people out there but if you’re looking at the Quran and other islamic book you’ll find stories about how its considered haram. Accepting the islam religion means accepting everything and dedicating yourself to it you can’t just pick and choose.

omg my first anon hate hahaha

i know im not obligated to answer hate but im going to anyway bcuz of i have things to say (sparkle emoji) (im on pc and dont have the energy to find an emoji keyboard)

okay first of all nowhere did i say that I identify as Muslim. i get that it was ambiguous tho so its cool. to clarify,, I am personally not Muslim but I kind of have to act like one so I don't get kicked to the streets or some shit lol and maybe I'm a bit of a coward idkkk but anyways

I would be interested to know what other Islamic books ur talking about btw, but I'm pretty sure the quran doesn't mention being trans anywhere at all. in fact I'm pretty certain, I've read it multiple times with translation and commentary interpretations and anyway being trans wasn't really a 'known' thing back then? bcuz obviously patriarchy and gender roles n segregation blah blah was wayyyy more yk. shit I forgot the word. uhhh yk like prevalent?? ofc the quran does mention a shitton about gender roles,, so yk men r the breadwinners, women raise the kids and keep house and be good wives etc. and also remember the big important fact:: GENDER AND SEX R DIFFERENT THINGS!!! meaning technically u cant be 'born' a gender (omfg my keyboard hates me imagine a question mark here) ur born with certain genitals and society assigns u a gender based on that . sounds a bit fucked when u put it like that actually but anyway back when the quran was being revealed this wasn't a known thing cuz yk they didn't have studies on this stuff,, and yea ur probably gonna say 'but the quran came from allah and he knows everything' well the fact of the matter is he either forgot or smth idk I don't speak for God but trans people definitely exist that's a fact we know so yeah. oh I should come back to my point which was, even with the quran saying those things about what ur supposed to do based on whats in ur pants which is crazy outdated anyway it doesn't take gender ≠ sex into consideration either soo ye that's the most it could've said about being trans and that not very valid anymore rip and that's not even mentioning non-binary people

and anyway Islam is literally all about acceptance and respect and everything so idk it would probably be better if u didn't go around telling ppl they're 'literally haram' for being trans or gay or any typa queer bcuz its literally not our choice (insert question marks) believe me I would fucking love to be comfortable in my 'female' body but I cant no matter how much I try to force myself so I'm sorry dude. no one would choose to be stuck in a situation like this. personally, I believe Islam needs a super massive reformation. well not Islam exactly, but a lot of things said in the quran r outdated wildly now, while a lot of it will also always be relevant, eg. everyone being equal and yk give to the poor etc. i have absolutely nothing against Muslims (I have it against my family for being so forceful about religion - different thing) yall r super cool and ik being a Muslim girl isn't easy believe me, but genuinely seeing Muslim people around and yk, just existing in wider society outside of Islamic spaces makes me feel so proud of where I came from even if its not been the best experience. have u seen the show We are Lady Parts (question mark) its about an all female Muslim punk band and there's only six episodes I literally watched it all today but the message of it is what I'm trying to get to you. u don't have to be the perfect pious wife to be considered a 'good Muslim',, there are so many ways u can show faith. you don't have to be a big strong man who can handle all pain with ease while single-handedly providing for a family either.

anyways peace out that sure was a journey lol and I definitely have forgot some of the things I wanted to say but yea that's all don't forget to like and subscribe <3

(colours r to make it easier to read for people with shorter attention spans,, they don't have any other significance)

36 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this is so funny lol #this is a cringefail blog fr #look vel and frederico ur on here thats crazy #omg and michael hiii

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aeempress · 4 years ago

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Apritello Express Evidences, part 2

Khem-khem, ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue out praising Apritello's episodes. And yeah, this part will be dedicated, in entirety just one episode.

Purple jacket. April and Donnie's episode.

I really love this piece of masterpiece, because it show April and Dee relationship, better reveals them as characters, and demonstrates their connection. (My previous points at this whole situation)

The episode begins with Donnie sneaking into April's school under the pretext of helping her. Soon, April stated the reason why she called D - her science computer project. Actually, she could take a photo of the code and sent it to Donatello, and I'm sure, he would send her the correct one right away, he's coder, he's prodigy, no probbles.

But still, April just asked him to come over and help her without stating any reasons. And he, indeed, came at speed of the light.

I want you to understand what exactly does that mean.

First: April is aware how much Donnie is into human culture. He wants to study in normal human school, do some average teen stuff. Especially, he is loving school and science-related stuff, all these science school projects, visits to botanical gardens, experiments and laboratory work. Because it's his field. It's exactly his domain, where he's good at. His family does not share his interest in science, and April is only one who can understand him. Probably.

Also, April know, how badly Donnie wants to go to school, which gives him an excuse, even if not the most solid one, but an excuse, nevertheless, to visit her school again.

Why again?

Because he has no problem navigating there. Donnie went directly to April's computer class.

He loves this place. And he'd already helped April with her projects.

Even so, knowing that every time she asked guys, especially Don, for help, it turned into a cataclysm, April still called him to help.

It's just a weird, indirect way to say, " Let's hang out, I know how much you like this whole situation with science, school and etc. Here ya go, buddy"

It seems like April did that to make something pleasant to him, something small, but nice to make him feel better. Because, as I state before - he likes to help April (praise, doing something useful for April - still counts as a motivation) and he likes school.

Second: khem-khem, D came at her school, as it seems, right away she called/texted. He didn't even know the proper reason, but c'mon: April ask for help, plus, her school. Sounds legit, don't you think?

Anyway, April has always been being the reason and excuse for teetles, but especially for Donnie. Clear? Clear. Good.

Donnie also tends to not think things through when he is excited. Because he went at the daylight in place, full of people just to help April.

ROTTMNT shows us how turtles were really afraid of human reaction and possible consequences. They have plan "H" to pretend they are going to Galaxy Con, brothers have explanation why they look weird and it's definitely not because boys are mutants, uh-huh, no, plus, guys go on surface at evening or night hours, when there are not so many people, and it's dark, obviously, to cover them and keep unseen.

Yeah, of course, Donnie seems more capable then his brothers to handle the surface (he has cash, D's dressed up as old ladies more than once, according to Leo, he was in April's school before, so yeah, no big deal) and I suspect that his friendship with April is one of the reasons.

Third: do you remember how April worried about looking "normal" when she was finally invited to a school party? She even forbade Mayham to appear nearby, just not to look like the lizard boy. Because cool kids don't bring pets to school. April doesn't have many friends, or rather, there are none at school, and she's been trying to solve this problem by getting close to Taylor Martin, the coolest girl in school.

And April O'Neil just calls Donatello, an objectively strange guy (since when is it normal to be a fan of school? Pretty questionable) in place, where her reputation is hanging in a balance. Our girl does not try to hide Dee, as it usually shown in shows for kids, and April do not pretend that she sees him for the first time in her life because, you know, Donnie will catch everyone's attention being himself and may embarrass her in front of her classmates. But no - April says with all her actions: "Yes, I know him. Yes, that dork is with me. And I don't give a damn about your opinion. Your problems, not mine. And yeah, I'm fine with him being here."

I mean it, guys. The devil is always in the tiny details.

The way they behave around each other.

Donatello is way more, MORE relaxed and just being himself: dramatic dorky nerdy ninja with current obsessions. The way he sneaked in school and April's classroom, the way he behaves alone with her is contrasting the way of his attitude while his brothers are near.

Don has a specific way to shown up. Instead of texting her, Donnie used shurekens. Yes, he almost fell off the lamp, but still, that's... quite an entrance he makes there.

April worries about him, when he fell from ceiling.

Our girl feel relaxed enough around Donnie, so she winks at him.

A wink is a fairly casual gesture that shows some expression of sympathy, trust, and togetherness. It's both good for saying "We're in same boat, we're team" and show the playful attitude towards someone. Isn't that an indicator?

Ironically, that being the best friends April and Donnie do not have any secret handshake/brofist/special greeting, as it usually the besties have at kid's series. Like Kendra and Jeremy have.

I can do only one possible logical conclusion: their relationship is far beyond "friends," "best friends," and "family".

Btw, about this certain phrase about secret five.

- Nay, fair April. A secret five[...].

Once again, nice wording, Donatello. Fair April? Maybe I'm too critical, but often when someone wants to convince their interlocutor and at the same time show one's condescension to them, it's usually uses "my dear ..." or something like that. I understand that semantically the difference is not very big, but in the first case, you can feel Donnie's personal attitude, even though he uses a book word. The second is just formal politeness, which emphasizes the difference between the rightness of the disputants.

This phrase were interpreted on official Russian dub as (okay, it's really hard to choose the correct word, because there's a lot of synonyms in English that sits quite well, while on Russian it's just one word, damn) "Нет, милая (No, honey/sweetheart )". Actually, a strange choice of wording, 'cause this is not what usually friends use to say to each other. We prefer use words like " my darling", "my dear", to demonstrate leniency. And again, most often this prerogative belongs to the older generation. Russians rarely throw around such words as "honey", "dear", "sunshine", because this deprives these endearments of any meaning, and a person using them, as a rule, is familiar. Of course, there are people who use them on a regular basis, but I HIGHLY doubt that Donatello is one of them. It's not his style.

But still, maybe I just too critical at this point.

April, as it is shown, have some kind of power to cool and calm him down and bring Donnie back to life reality.

1. Don awakes from his daze while heard April's voice

2. He's literally coming back to life, when April said about his broken jetpack.

3. Dee obediently interrupts his touching farewell to the jacket when April yells at him.

Oh, and his face. I remind you, fellas, we're talking about Donatello, "I really do not like to express emotions"-guy and "I will die if someone broke my bAbEyS"-guy.

And what do we see? Donnie's emoting. And feels free to do that. He's even drooling. (What seems kinda interesting without context, if you're understand what I'm talking about ;))

Dee doesn't seem angry about broken jetpack. And his wide smile, while he's assuring April he can fix it? A few minutes ago, he was steamed when his stuff was stolen, but when the jetpack was broken, he doesn't even raise an eyebrow. Very eloquent.

April is his support

April also supports Donnie whatever he's up to. Yes, she hadn't been excited when Othello had expressed a desire to join the club. However, she also introduced him to Kendra and company. Yes, she showed by her whole appearance that she did not share his joy, but nevertheless, our loyal captain O'Neil was there for him, by his side all this time.

And her sweet facial expression. From "Srsly? Join this jerks?" to "If you dare to even think about to hurt him, I'll smash you".

And one more cute detail about Dee. Even if he does whatever he wanted so badly, Don constantly looks around at April, looking for her approval.

- Be honest, April, do I look fantastic, or SUPERBLY fantastic?

- You look like you drop a juice box in a laundry. (Play nice, April, don't be mean)

He cherishes her opinion.

April had even called him late at night just to, technically speaking, say that his tech were stolen. And what's the big deal with all his outfit? It's late night, they can just sneak out into Nakamura in their usual form. But noooo, April give a special ride on her bicycle. Just. You know. Our girl carried her own weight and his all the way without stopping. And then she went up 53 + floors running non-stop because Donnie's equipment was stolen. And then she had to chase the her classmates, dodge and jump out of the window. Because Purple dragons stole Dee's tech. Like shooting fish in a barrel, no big deal at all.

And it's definitely not because he will be totally crashed or he'll do stupid things during his anger, which will then come out sideways.

And April comes along with him to very end.

By the way, their phone conversations.

Donnie is the very case when "Call at any time of the day or night and I will pick up the phone".

When April called him when he needs D's help with Albearto, when something is definitely going on behind.

As it says in transcript of the episode:

[April takes out her phone, scrolls to Donnie’s listing and calls him. Donatello appears on screen. Behind him a flying microwave wearing boxing gloves shoots lasers at his brothers.]

Don: "You are conversing with Donatello."

April

[Crouched on floor in hiding.]

Dude, I need your help."

Don: "For you, anything. As long as it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls.

[There’s an explosion behind him and his brothers cry out, which he ignores.]

And yeah, he took her incoming immediately, he ignores absolutely and totally everything around him, because... April? Expositions, bloody flying microwave bot turned to destroy mode, his brothers screaming and being in life-threatening situation? Naaah, it can wait.

Donatello was at Todd's, building "the puppiest place on Earth" and was very enthusiastic about to finish this thing. But he paused anyway to answer April.

We already know how obsessive with work Don can be: if something interesting gets into his field of view, he begins to do it all day long. Remember "The Purple Game" - a very revealing case. Yeah, we weren't shown how much Donnie is into engineering, but I can guess that point remains the same.

April called him at late night and Donnie picked up the phone.

April, unlike Donatello, is a teenager who is burdened with social relationship such as family, school, and work periodically, which implies a more or less strict schedule to follow and some conventions, such as " April, you can't go out late at night to catch robbers, you are underage and you have to go to school/work tomorrow). However, she was watching the news late at night, so she called Dee. ( I have a lot of questions, but I'll never get answers, as it seems)

D, in turn, doesn't have so many contacts with the outside world. I highly doubt that anyone else outside of the family and April has his number. And yet, when he hears the call late at night he takes it. Yes, he had awaken from the nightmare, but still.

And what's up with his usual "You're conversing with Donatello"? He didn't even understand what's going on, as it seems, he's too sleepy to play his usual image and playfully attitude as we could see in "Hypno Part Deux" and "War and Pizza".

Adorable couple-like D&A arguing

April very rarely uses "I told you so" against anybody, or rather, this is almost the only case. This phrase is more suitable for Leo or Donnie, and you know," I told you so! " we usually use on people we know well, and we want to tease 'em about them being wrong. Which, in fact, once again highlights and proves how close D&A are. And I don't even get started about the fact that this is more like a couple's quarrel, not a friend's.

And one more time - in the end, when April suggests using the jacket to stop Kendra.

Their teamwork

I stated that before, I'll tell it one more and more times. The chemistry of their team interaction is incredible. It's as if they can feel each other, and each knows what the other is capable of doing in the next moment. April easily adapts to Donnie's attack, realizing his plan.

Donnie also throws them both out of the window in order to continue the pursuiting Kendra on the jetpack. Don is one hundred percent sure of April, that she will understand what he wants to do, Dee trusts her with his life without hesitation, and she has never used his jetpack. He just puts her before the fact: April will be using the tech.

Up for Donnie!

I really like how this scene was made. Donatello struggles with his own tech, somewhat he made by himself, having invested almost whole himself and his soul, but what "betrayed" him in end. When Dee finally managed to shake one of his battleshell, which almost choked him, Donnie feel so scared and unsecured. We can see his anxiety - Dee's coaching position with covering his head with his hands and tucking his knees.

Defenseless, helpless, and mostly lost, and then, just in time - hero comes to save his life. She uses Donnie's name as battlecry, look how furious she is.

Funny fact: on Russian dub April yells "Don't touch Donnie! (how dare you, madafaka)

April fits in Donnie's type of girls. She's cute (obvious) and mean (not so obvious).

I can't say that meanness is the main feature of April's character, as we can say about Kendra. But this personality trait is still present in her and sometimes it does not manifest itself so widely. April's meanness is not so pronounced, it is much softer and smoother, and it is not exposed.

But April becomes really mean when someone messes up with Donnie.

She's his support and prop. Literally. Just look at first frame, okay-okay, jokes aside

She's genuinely enjoying of kicking bad guys ' asses, even letting go of witticisms and barbs.

Last scenes

Don survived a rough night: he was used, his tech was stolen, so he and April had to chase the satin robed punks. Donnie was hit in the head with a hammer, he fell from a bird's-eye view, passed out and then his battleshell tried to strangle him. And April is here to comfort him, to cheer him up.

Yes, we don't get any hugs (because it's kids show, bleh), the tactility is kept to a minimum, except for April's comforting hand on his shoulder, but they don't even look at each other. But the softness of her voice, the intonation with which she utters a phrase (that is usually sent to the friend zone, but "pal" is really neutral word, and the most important how she said that) turn the scene upside down. It is not what April did to comfort him matter, it's how she did this.

I said "yes" to you way too often

April mirrors Donnie with his "Anything for you". Yes, of course, she said this with a certain amount of grumbling, but her voice and her demeanor suggest otherwise - she is not at all averse to going to giving in him.

And the way they're look at each other.

This one

And one more detail

It's really tiny, it's hard to catch from the first watching the episode, but still, it's possible. I'm talking about graffiti on the walls of the alley where April and Don had landed.

This one

Yeah, if we speak about reality it's quite normal to see graffiti like this. But we talking about TV-series, where everything has its own place and meaning. And if there something, it must be there, it's not just whim of artist who put it in there. But this little graffiti changes the mood of scene.

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heretherebedork · 2 years ago

Note

I’ve thought about this a lot and I really want to preface this with: I’m not bagging on the show, the production team, or even the pairings. I just feel like it needs to be said that I don’t think KinnPorsche knows what kind of show it wants to be.

And I’m definitely not saying anything new at all. This issue has come up again and again in tonal shifts and narrative/character arcs, etc but I’m talking specifically in terms of how they’ve chosen to address the darker aspects of the source material.

Kinn and Porsche as a couple has a plethora of issues, from the writing to the plot to the overall dynamic. But it all points to one giant elephant in the room that started all this: the fact that Kinn raped Porsche. And (not to downplay it at all) but it’s not even the actual rape that’s the problem. It’s the way it works in the show. The writers didn’t need to include it in the plot and have it be the way they first sleep together, since they changed so much from the novel anyway, but they did. And most importantly, is that they drew a very hard line that this was rape. They spent and entire episode showing Porsche actively traumatized. Then spent the next episode showing Kinn atoning again and again. And so as the viewer, I thought, ok. They included the rape and made it clear that it was rape because they want to use this as a teaching moment, as a way to give an important message. But then, they didn’t. One hospital visit later and KP are okay and in love, and they stay in very deep love for the rest of the show and the rape never gets brought up again. And it ruins their story as a pair that I want to romantically root for, which is what the show wants me to do.

I feel like the writers did the same thing this episode with VegasPete. I was so happy with the care that they had put into the relationship, how they kept the dark elements but made it work as a (obviously very fucked up realistically but) relationship that could work. But then they drew that hard line again, that VegasPete is domestic abuse and showed a whole episode of Pete traumatized from what he went through and Vegas acting like a classic abuser in every aspect (codependent, selfish, controlling).

And my problem isn’t that they made it so irredeemably toxic, or that they drew that hard line. It’s that KP still considers itself a romance, they want us to root for these couples, they want us to want them to be together and in love. So I’m going to have to watch Pete forgive Vegas because he loves him. I’m going to have to watch Pete choose Vegas even though the show is telling me, very clearly and deliberately, that Vegas is not good for him (and not even in a ‘unhealthy relationship’ kind of way but in a way that is actively dangerous for Pete, and most importantly, goes against who he is as a character). And it is the show that’s telling me this. I’m not interpreting this based on my own morals. The show is actively laying it out for me that this is classic abuse.

They drew the hard line that VP is abusive, but I’m upset because I know they want me to still find them romantic as a couple. And I very much wanted to find them romantic as a couple, when I thought they were playing this as an almost game of wits between the two, when I thought Pete had any control in the situation, when I though that yes, Vegas obviously still tortured and abused Pete, but there was an equality here that could lead to a relationship that is by all means not healthy but at least something you can root for, something more compelling than just a victim attached to their abuser.

But then they drew that hard line. They made it so there was no way to interpret a romance to root for, but they still want me to root for them. So now I’m losing on both ends. I don’t get to enjoy them as a romantic couple because of their toxic traits and I don’t get to enjoy them as a toxic couple because the show wants me to think it’s romance. Which is what I cannot understand. If BOC wants KinnPorsche as a series to be a romance, why would they draw these hard lines on its darker elements? If BOC wants KinnPorsche to be dark, why are they filling it with oversimplified romance? It can’t be both, especially with the way they’re playing it.

And I understand that VegasPete still has time, nothing has been as established as it’s been with KinnPorsche. The show hasn’t confirmed that they are happy and in love as blindly as Kinn and Porsche are so, there very well might be a way out of these weird parameters. Especially with the news of a second season. But specifically because of the way things went with KinnPorsche, I have no faith in a resolution. I’m fully expecting season 2 to be full of the same empty honeymoon antics we saw with KP. Just VegasPete being in blind love like there isn’t a mountain of issues beneath the surface that they need to work through.

(I’m sorry this got so long and again: not bagging on anything in specific. These are just my frustrations.)

For the KP stuff... yeah, basically. The sidestory made it clear that the past is the past and you're not allowed to care about it any more and, frankly, if I think deeply about them I get really mad because there was so much potential and both the actors are really, really good but... nope. Twu Luv it is and I've been uninterested and frustrated ever since.

As for VP... honestly, while I understand where you're coming from, I do think the show is actually handling them a lot better because for all that Pete does want Vegas in return, he is not running to him, he isn't following him, he did leave and he stayed away and he might love Vegas but he has not forgiven him and Vegas has gone away again.

I think the different, for me, is that VP has been allowed to be truly dark and they're still not okay by any means. Yes, they did veer into showing domestic abuse very specifically to show that Vegas isn't ready for this and neither is Pete. Neither of them can be in this relationship in a healthy way yet. Vegas because he's just continuing the cycle of abuse because he doesn't see a way out and Pete because, beyond just Vegas continuing the abuse on him, he's covered up his own childhood abuse in a different but similar way that leaves him feeling unworthy of anything better.

Both characters need to grow and need to change and can the show really give us that convincingly? Eh, 50/50 on that. Am I still willing to enjoy them as a deeply fucked up romantic couple that has a lot to work on and needs a lot of time to get anywhere resembling a healthy relationship? Yes. Because I truly think the show is willing to go there more with them than they are with KP.

KP went straight from hesitant forgiveness to Twu Luv without any steps in between. VP hasn't even reached hesitant forgiveness, honestly, and I think the show is gonna push that to season two (groan) and as much as I hate it and don't believe in any of it... If they do that, I think they could come close to doing any of it justice. Maybe.

I get your frustration because it's definitely a rough show and I don't question that and I am frustrated with how they handled KP but, for now as least, I'm still enjoying VP.

But I get why you might not.

#no tags here #spoiler #spoilers #criticism #negative #dead sea levels of salt

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years ago

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Was Napoleon a tyrant? I don't necessarily think he was: at least, I believe he was a better alternative to the absolute monarchs he was fighting. But there are those who disagree. What are your thoughts on the subject?

This is a can of worms to be sure.

I mean....how are we defining the word tyrant? All monarchs are tyrants to someone. Monarchy, by its very nature, is tyrannical in one way, shape, or form, no matter who is at its head. Even in the more neutered forms we see now days with the British. The Queen still exerts a ridiculous amount of power, all things considered.

Napoleon was no better or worse than any other monarch in Europe at that time. Indeed, better than some, worse than others. Because you know, he was human!

This got VERY long. SO LONG. Choice excerpts from below the cut:

"'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it."

"(And I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system. Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door. Napoleon: Hush.)"

"Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor."

"Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight! (I'm putting my money on Napoleon.)"

tl;dr: a more or less benevolent emperor who had his faults and who was intimately aware, for better or worse, more than most monarchs, that the head is only tenuously attached to the body. (Skim to the bottom for my thoughts on the personal things i.e. how I interpret Napoleon's actions and brain)

But, more seriously, as with most absolute statements, I am opposed to calling him a tyrant because it is reductive and serves no purpose except to make broad sweeping political statements that I believe are far more about the person making the statement exemplifying their modern political, republican position (as in, actual republican-I-support-the-existence-of-republics not the gop) rather than expressing any sort of truth about the past. (wHaT iS tRuTh.)

For historical purposes, it can over-simplify the situation and lead to skewed interpretations of events because you're coming in with this word that has a lot of modern, 20th and 21st century baggage to it.

And, because these people are coming in with this big, bad word of tyrant as a label for Napoleon, it doesn't allow them to engage with the nuance and complexities of his reign.

Anyway.

Napoleon, as emperor, supported centralized power held in his own hands, with support from other governing bodies (senate, council of state etc.). However, Napoleon had a lot of influence in the structuring of these governing bodies and the subsequent appointments as a means to exert control over entities that would otherwise be able to act somewhat independent from him and impinge his power.

We see this consolidation of power beginning, obviously, under the consulate. 'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it.

There was the whole theatre around the Tribunate offering to extend Napoleon's tenure as First Consul for another ten years as a means of thanks/showing gratitude for all he did for France (Fouche was like: fuck that, let's just make a statue of the guy). Napoleon played the part of Humble Servant of the Public and refused both statue and the ten year extension. (Very Julius Caesar: You all did see that on the Lupercal, I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?)

In actuality, though, he was pissed because he wanted it extended for life.

This resulted in the Council of State deciding "independently" (i.e. Napoleon wasn't present but he sure as hell influenced that Council session) to hold a plebiscite in order to ask The People two key questions: 'Should Napoleon Bonaparte be consul for life?' and 'Should he have the right to designate his successor?'

Napoleon nixed the second question saying to Cambaceres, 'The testament of Louis XIV was not respected, so why should mine be? A dead man has nothing to say.' Which is to say, he knew people would vote for him to be Consul for life, but the prospect of him choosing a successor, a la the Roman Empire, and having that choice be without input from the people and respected upon his death? Less clear.

(And, I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system.

Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door.

Napoleon: Hush.)

For the Plebiscite, there were around 3.56 million votes for Yes to the question of Napoleon as consul for life and only around 8,300 for No.

The turnout rate was 60% which is uhh...impressive! (To be fair, there was no real evidence of tampering with the vote. Unlike in subsequent Plebiscites, such as the results for Do We Make Him Emperor, which were absolutely doctored. But, considering the highest turnout ever seen in the French Revolution was around 30/35%, double that is certainly something.)

Lafayette was pissed with this. He kicked up a fuss in the Senate and wrote to Napoleon saying that his 'restorative dictatorship' had been well and fine for now but has Napoleon thought about restoring liberty? and that he was certain Napoleon, of all people, wouldn't want an 'arbitrary regime' to be installed!

Napoleon: Bold of you to assume that, Lafayette.

There were, at this time, some mumblings and grumblings about tyranny from the liberals and those still wanting to continue the experiment of the French Republic, to be sure. They increased as time went on and Napoleon's power continued to consolidate.

Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor.

Lafayette: WhAt Is tHiS??

Napoleon: Look into my face and tell me honestly that you are shocked.

His government, as Consul and as Emperor, was centralized and very top-down in how it operated. Little was done without Napoleon's input.

The seemingly democratic institutions that had propped him up into power were retained and Napoleon used them as a means to facilitate his rule. As noted earlier, Napoleon had a heavy hand in appointments and the processes in place to fill various offices. Nothing was really...independent of him and his influence.

Though, in terms of Image Building of Empire, Napoleon worked hard to try and maintain the façade of impartiality as emperor. That he was head of state, sure, but all state apparatuses operated independent of him.

(Why is Napoleon's hat so big? because it is full of lies supporting the imperial image making machine.)

That said, when it came to filling those offices, Napoleon focused on merit more than anything as he wanted his governing officials to be capable, hardworking and, above all else, loyal.

(A good quote from Napoleon in one of his more Eat the Rich moments of the consulate: 'One cannot treat wealth as a title of nobility. A rich man is often a layabout without merit. A rich merchant is often only so by virtue of the art of selling expensively or stealing.'

Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight!

(I'm putting my money on Napoleon.) )

This is getting really long and I feel that I've not addressed anything in a useful manner, but am I going to stop? No.

Napoleon, himself, at least in 1803, did express some conflicted views about assuming an imperial title. To Roederer he said, 'So many great things have been achieved over the past three years under the title of consul. It should be kept.'

Cambaceres said to Napoleon that upon assuming an imperial title 'your position changes and places you at odds with yourself.' No longer are you merely a public servant, an upholder of the Republic's ideals. Now you are a man wearing a crown, trying to be the upholder of the Republic's ideals.

(nb: I feel that duality is something Napoleon never fully got a handle on. He would veer strongly into authoritarian monarch then have moments of Rousseau-ian Idealism.)

Napoleon was insistent that his rule be a parliamentary monarchy (keeping the governance framework implemented in the Constitution of Year VIII, if I am not mistaken. But don't quote me on that.) and that the French were not his subjects but his people.

So, the imperial government worked thus with the Legislative process divided between four bodies:

Council of State which would draw up legislative proposals,

Tribunate which could debate on legislation but not vote on it,

a legislative body which could vote on legislation but not discuss it, and

Senate which would consider whether the proposed legislation conformed to the Constitution.

The Senate and the Legislative body could, theoretically, curtail Napoleon’s freedom/power. However, considering the fact that he was involved in the appointment process of these offices, and the general rhythm of daily governance, how much power they were able to exert over him was limited.

(This is at his height! Of course, towards the end we see a shift in that. But that's largely tied up in his military defeats and the British banging the door knocker demanding to be let in. Also they brought with them some friends. You might have heard of them? Bourbons?)

The initial terms the Senate brought to Napoleon with their offer of accepting him as a hereditary monarch included, but weren't limited to:

liberty cannot be infringed

equality cannot be jeopardized

sovereignty of the people must be maintained

the laws of the nation are inviolable

all institutions were to be free from undue imperial influence (e.g. the press)

the nation should never be put into a position where it needs to behead the head of state. Again.

Napoleon was uh. Not best pleased with this and had a new version drafted up that included acknowledgement of the sovereignty of the people, but a lot of the other things (e.g. freedom of the press) were cut out.

Yet, Napoleon maintained certain parts of the French Revolution's values which were reflected more in the 1804 Code Napoleon and other legislative and legal pieces than in the initial terms of Senatorial acceptance of his imperial title.

Some of the things enshrined in the Code that were carry-over from the Revolution include, but aren't limited to, the abolition of feudalism, equality before the law, freedom of conscience (to practice their own religion), gave fixed title to those who had bought church and émigré lands during the 1790s, and the equality of taxation was maintained (tax those aristos and the church). Also, there was affirmation of the idea of careers being "open to talent" rather than an accident of birth (as touched on above).

The Freedom of Conscience clause in the Code was a further formalization of several Articles Napoleon amended onto the Concordat in 1802. The Articles guaranteed the principle of religious toleration and made the Protestant and Jewish churches similarly subject to state authority (alongside the Catholic).

These are just a brief summary of some of the more liberal/revolution-informed aspects of Napoleon's governing.

The non-liberal ones I believe we're all pretty familiar with: suppression of the free press, roll-back of rights for women (women are for babies!), reinstatement of slavery (which he later reversed circa 1810/12-ish), top-down Emperor-has-final-word approach to ruling (Napoleon was all about Authority From Above, Trust From Below) etc. etc.

At the end of this, I would say Napoleon's empire falls into that "benevolent monarch" situation. For a given value of "benevolent." As stated at the start, he was like most other monarchs in Europe at the time. Better than some, not as great about certain things as others.

Really, it all ties back to Order and Stability.

Napoleon's assent, and his approach to strong, centralized ruling, was a result of uncertainty and constant government change over ten years of revolution alongside the growing belief, by 1803, that a republic like the Romans or Greeks was not going to happen any time soon. Not without constant warfare and the forever looming threat of a Bourbon restoration.

In addition, Napoleon was doing imperial drag. (If that makes sense.) He was dialing the notch of Emperor up to 11 - being the most emperor of all emperors. So, state control was absolute because he couldn't show any signs of weakness - either in his own body, his familial body, or the body of state. The court protocols were intense and over-the-top at times because he had to prove he was not just a second son of a parvenu lawyer from the sticks. No! he was worthy of this pomp. He was worthy of imperial majesty. He was worthy of the crown and scepter.

Napoleon was not raised to be anything other than a military officer and a middle-class head of a family (would have been a MASTER at doing Sunday Dad Puttering About the House). When he dawned the mantel of power, particularly that of empire, he had to make it up as he went along. For such a self-conscious and proud man, this was difficult. He never wanted to misstep and be embarrassed - on a personal level, political or military.

At the same time, he was reared on Rousseau and Revolution so still had those values and ideals imbedded in him, and those fears and memories. Napoleon knew as well as any Frenchman that a monarch's head is easily removable should it become necessary. Therefore, he sometimes ran roughshod over the liberty to ensure security. For better or worse, that was the choice he made.

Napoleon was a flawed leader with a complex approach to governing that was focused on a centralization of power within him while, at the same time, trying to be the Successor of the Revolution, the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire. Layers! Like an onion.

His approach as emperor really was within the realm of normal-for-the-times when compared to most other monarchs on the European stage in 1800. He also granted liberties to his people that were unheard of in other countries.

I feel like all my Napoleonic ramblings end with the same message: Dude was nuanced. Dude was complex. Dude did good things and bad things. Dude helped people and hurt people. Dude contained multitudes. Because he was simply human, at the end of the day.

ANNNNNNND we are done.

Gods bless all y'all who made it this far.

Have my favourite picture of Napoleon at Tuileries as a prize.

hmm that beautiful heavy, handed symbolism.

#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #ask #reply #napoleonic #history #19th century #imperial myth making #napoleonic identity

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faelicy · 4 years ago

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Miss Faelicy I would love to get your opinion on Bingqiu.

I see people posting things like how they are "problematic" and how they don't really love each other and SQQ only feels sympathy etc. Obviously there were struggles between them as there should be (considering all that happened) and just because sqq wasn't very open and super obvious about his feelings doesn't mean they are not there..this is how I interpreted it. I would love to know your opinion

Hello! This also covers part 2 of the previous ask.

First, massive spoilers for the end of the novel. Second, a disclaimer: I despise shipwars, which I think are behind most of those comments. I hate them because it's usually all in bad faith: everyone's already committed to their interpretation of the ships, and any discussion is just a guise for justifying their preferences.

So to any readers: I don't want anything here to be used as shipwar fuel. This post is about Bingqiu's canon arc and themes. Basically, I don't know or care if Bingqiu is a good ship, but I do think it's a well-written one.

I'll start by saying directly: for most of the novel, Bingqiu is neither healthy nor romantic. And that this is not bad writing, but on purpose.

A relationship that drives one party to mental breakdown isn't healthy. A relationship where that party says it's okay to hurt or kill them can't possibly be healthy. That happened because there was something deeply wrong with their relationship, something that can't be reduced to Xin Mo, miscommunication, or LBH throwing a tropey yandere fit.

And out of all three MXTX novels, only SV lacks a love confession from the MC to the ML. Again, I don't think it's an oversight, or just because SQQ's face is too thin. There are plenty of ways MXTX could have worked a subtle one in if she really wanted to.

In my opinion, Bingqiu's narrative can be split up into four arcs: Qing Jing Peak (ch 1-27), Jin Lan City (28-43), Post-revival (29-55), and Reconciliation (56-81). Other than the first arc, where their relationship is pretty straightforward, Bingqiu spend most of the rest in direct conflict.

I'll give an overview of the arcs here, but what I truly want to say about Bingqiu starts in arc 4, so if you're impatient you can scroll down. But the overview might help add context.

Jin Lan City arc is about LBH's anger at being brutally betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Here he tries to force answers out of SQQ, who he believes both hates him and is a hypocrite. He's driven by a desire to return to the past, but his rage and love makes his actions contradictory: on one hand he tries to win SQQ's approval constructively, by climbing to the top of Huan Hua Palace and performing good deeds, on the other hand his belief that SQQ doesn't care about him so it's all futile anyway (reinforced by SQQ's own actions) causes him to lash out destructively, going as far as to hurt and imprison SQQ.

LBH's bitterness is portrayed very negatively, because all it does is instill despair into SQQ, until SQQ ends up believing that he's only been a blight on LBH's life, and that he must make up for it by killing himself. Whereupon LBH breaks down, regressing into a childlike state. Some might ask, why does LBH never bring up the Abyss again afterwards? It's because he gives up here. This entire arc is about getting LBH to let go of past wrongs and to stop seeking answers, whether the reader believes it's fair to him or not. Because SQQ's life is more important.

Post-revival arc then is about SQQ trying to come to terms with a blackened LBH who also loves him. Interestingly, despite SQQ's horror at realizing LBH was romantically interested in him all along, SQQ actually has a very subtle but telling secondary reaction. To explain, let's back up to the first arc.

Starting around ch 9, probably as a sign of his growing affection, SQQ begins addressing LBH as 这孩子, or "this child," in his internal monologue, instead of LBH's name. He does it once each in ch 9, 12, 17, 21, 25. However, once Jin Lan City arc starts, SQQ drops the address entirely. LBH and "child" are never brought up together except for one snarky comment on LBH's tantrum being disgracefully childish in ch 38.

At first glance this doesn't look noteworthy because LBH by this point is no longer a kid. But when LBH kisses him in ch 49, SQQ changes again: right away he returns to using "child" on LBH, and the "this child" address starts popping up at a much higher frequency. By the end of SV SQQ has referred to LBH as a child in some manner at least 35 times (yes I went and counted), with the vast majority after ch 49, and he continues to do so right into the last extra.

Why was SQQ unwilling to use this address of affection for over 20 chapters? Perhaps because he too thought LBH hated him, and couldn't bear to think about him so intimately knowing that. So SQQ immediately falling back into it the moment he learns LBH loves him is a sign of his relief. He's still dismayed at the romantic part, but though SQQ likes to deflect from his real emotions (this is the guy who focused on bad naming sense after being fatally poisoned, who cavalierly commented only after it was all over that he'd expected to die), the fact that LBH loves and doesn't hate him, means a lot.

Here SQQ's feelings towards LBH are at their most complicated. He still assumes the worst of him like in Jin Lan City, but now because of the above, also sees a lonely child whenever LBH is unhappy and lost. It's like he has two filters actively interfering with each other, "crazed criminal" and "pitiful child," and so he flip-flops between pushing LBH away and comforting him. But when LBH drags CQMS into it, and even seemingly takes advantage of SQQ's love for him, SQQ's negative image and frustration with him only grows, until he finally snaps and tells LBH to never come near him again.

At this point SQQ still believes that LBH is the same black-hearted, invincible, devil incarnate that og!LBH was portrayed to be. The Reconciliation arc starts by chipping away at this filter that's been plaguing SQQ for so long. First the revelation that TLJ/ZZL was behind the sowers, thus clearing LBH's name at Jin Lan City. Then we see how unloved he is by his own father; we see him injured and helpless and unconscious. Meng Mo yells at SQQ, reinforcing that image of a vulnerable, terrified child. So by ch 62 SQQ has thrown away the "crazed criminal" filter completely, and in that same chapter they cling to each other and finally make up. Because while it's true that the current LBH is misanthropic, antisocial, and mercurial, SQQ has also finally accepted that he's still the same LBH he'd raised and doted on, back on Qing Jing Peak.

Now I'm going to talk about what I see as the most important part of Bingqiu. Yes, despite the wall of text already.

A common sentiment of Bingqiu shippers about their issues seems to be, "SQQ is dumb and oblivious; he can't figure out what LBH needs even though he loves him because he sees LBH as a novel character," but I think the problem is far more complicated and insidious than that. If that was everything, why give SQQ the epiphany that he misunderstood LBH so early? Why have him think in ch 66 that "truthfully, he'd never really trusted Luo Binghe, and that's why he kept accidentally hurting him?" If he's already realized that he shouldn't treat LBH like og!LBH (he even meets og!LBH in ch 71 to rub it in further), why do we go another 13 chapters believing their relationship is good and well, even giving us a sweet, happy moment in ch 75, only to show LBH having the worst breakdown of the novel just 4 chapters later? Was it all just padding to demonstrate the danger of Xin Mo?

Or is there something else beneath the surface?

In ch 66, the same chapter where SQQ implies he doesn't want to accidentally hurt LBH anymore, he says something telling. When LQG is skeptical that LBH can be trusted, SQQ thinks, 家里孩子不懂事，大人不容易做, or "when your child doesn't know any better, as the adult you don't have it easy." The child here of course refers to LBH, and the adult is SQQ, who's complaining about smoothing over LBH's messes. But what is SQQ implying here?

Doesn't know any better? That's what you say about a toddler who can't think for themselves, not a grown man. LBH is 25 and SQQ thinks he doesn't know better. Doesn't know better about what? LBH's wants, his needs? His feelings? Or even what's good for him?

And then you realize that's exactly how SQQ's always treated him, like a helpless child who can't make his own choices.

It's SQQ who chooses to throw LBH down into the Abyss without trying to talk to him. It's SQQ who decides that keeping silent is the best choice. It's SQQ who believes self-destructing in front of LBH will help, who thinks that breaking off their relationship is for the better. And it's SQQ who scolds LBH into tolerating CQMS, even though they hate each other and CQMS is hostile towards him. Who forces him to leave first at Zhao Hua Temple despite LBH's pleas otherwise, who shoos him out the window when CQMS walks in on them.

Every single one of these decisions, SQQ made believing it was for the best (repair LBH's relationship with his family, help him avoid arrest, not wanting to make excuses, wanting LBH to be free of his hatred), and every single one of them only damaged LBH further. Because SQQ's never listened to him, even once. Never consulted him or considered his feelings.

(And LBH did try to bring up his feelings on one of the matters in ch 75. He insinuates to SQQ that he doesn't like LQG calling him "little beast" or "ingrate." And SQQ's response is to dismiss them entirely, saying that LQG's "not wrong.")

SQQ has always loved LBH, but he's never once respected LBH's agency or personhood. Because LBH doesn't know better and SQQ does, so SQQ must make all his decisions for him.

And this, amplified by Xin Mo, is what finally drives LBH mad in ch 79.

To LBH, the important part isn't whether SQQ loves him, which I think he knew after ch 43 (it's why he can be so daring and pushy with SQQ's boundaries). What's important is that the moment SQQ believes abandoning LBH is justified for whatever reason again, SQQ absolutely will.

Ch 80's two-way noncon (since LBH was basically unconscious and couldn't consent) tends to draw most of the attention, but I actually think that what happens afterwards is one of the most important scenes for Bingqiu. There SQQ tries to sacrifice himself a second time for LBH, drawing Xin Mo's demonic qi into his body. Yet the novel claims that SQQ's actions here are completely different than in ch 43. SQQ himself says that this time he's doing it for LBH, while last time he was doing it for himself. But can the reader see a functional difference?

There is one, in fact: it's SQQ's response to LBH's choice afterwards. LBH decides to follow SQQ in death, even though this would void the point of SQQ's sacrifice. But instead of insisting otherwise, SQQ just accepts it. Because he finally understands that whether LBH's life is worth living, whether LBH will be better off, is for LBH and only LBH to decide.

It's the first time he respects LBH's agency. And this is the only reason why he and LBH can finally begin building a healthy relationship on the mess they've had up to now.

So that's what I see as the true beauty behind Bingqiu. It's about communication and mistaken assumptions, yes, but it's also about the nature of love between parent and child. The romantic developments were left to the extras, I believe, because this was the main story MXTX wanted to tell with them. Their relationship as lovers only starts afterwards, hence why SV ends with, "the story between you and I, has only just begun." It was never meant to be a whirlwind romance where they fall in love cleanly. It might not to be to everyone's tastes, but an incredible amount of thought was put into the narrative, and that's what amazed me when I first finished this novel.

(This post went on way too long and I ended up cutting off a huge chunk of tangential stuff and how SQQ came to his realization in ch 79: he didn't do it alone. It took him seeing the LBH in TLJ and the himself in YQY for him to understand. In fact, YQY and og!SQQ's relationship has a similar parent-and-child dynamic. I've touched on it before on twitter; if there's interest I might try writing that up here too.)

#scum villain #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #sv meta #spoilers #fae's meta #translation notes

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