#I love cinematography so I wanted to address this because I think there was a reason why it seems romanticized so much in the original scene

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

i just rewatched ‘the woman who fell to earth’ a couple of days ago for the first time since it aired back in 2018 and the more i think about it, the more i like it.

thirteen is the only doctor for whom i feel a tangible, rose-tinted nostalgia. she wasn’t my first doctor, but she was the first doctor i watched live, the first doctor that i spent an actual extended period of time with over the episode rollout. her intro episode has middling parts (as can be expected with most episodes of Who) but there’s also so much good that i really want to highlight.

first of all, there are some really great character dynamics set up here. much more interesting than i remember, tbh. ryan is a guy who loves mechanics but is stuck in a warehouse job he hates, a guy who obviously wants to connect to people, a guy who by the end of the episode has lost both his mother and grandmother in the space of a couple of years and the step-grandfather he didn’t really want is all he has left (minus his absent father). that’s interesting.

yaz has a keen sense of justice and this raw, intense yearning to help people, to do something worthwhile, something more - the way she has chosen to express that is through law enforcement, but it’s not quite giving her the satisfaction she wants. that’s interesting.

graham’s experience with cancer means that he constantly feels like he’s living on borrowed time. meeting grace gave him purpose, gave him family, gave him the will to fight when he fought it was all but over, but now grace is gone. he and ryan aren’t related, but they’re family, and now they’ve got to figure out how to care for each other without the very lynchpin that brought them together. once again with feeling: interesting!

“i’m just a traveller. sometimes i see things that need fixing. i do what i can.” i like that they circle back to the ‘just some guy’ portrayal of the doctor here, both because it’s the one i’m partial to and because it feeds particularly well into the whole ‘the doctor is an unreliable narrator’ aspect, especially in the wake of the increased deification in the moffat era. it's a nice set up, even if it gets completely overhauled circa series 12/13. in fact, having thirteen keep this as a persistent attitude throughout the Timeless Child of it all could have been really effective re: her reticence with her companions and refusal to address or deal with her past.

the scene where thirteen builds her sonic screwdriver might be one of my favourite sequences in nuwho. i love that it’s a hybrid of alien tech and sheffield steel. i also love that they highlight the ‘mad inventor’ side of the doctor here (her teleportation circuit is based around a microwave?) and wish that they had carried it forward more. it would have been the perfect basis for her to bond with ryan over. jodie also pulls off the humour of the episode well, considering the significant shift from moffat dialogue.

i enjoy thirteen's outfit: the vibrancy of it as mirroring her childish excitability, but also as another part of the mask - if i dress all colourful then maybe i can ignore/outrun/masquerade my great capacity for darkness! etc etc. the shopping trip with yaz and ryan is a bit shoe-horned in at the end but it's cute that she finds it in a charity shop. (back in 2018 i bought a t-shirt with a couple of stripes across the chest solely because it remotely resembled the one she wore lol. nerd from a young age, me.) jodie also looks soo hot in capaldi's outfit though so a spin on the traditional suit would also have been appreciated.

some miscellaneous points: i like that she tells Karl off (“you had no right to do that”) right after saving him. i like that she gets it wrong at first and makes it clear that she’s working on the fly. she’s following her instinct, and that instinct is to help people. doctor who has been beautiful before but the cinematography takes such a huge step this era. “it’s been a long time since i bought women’s clothes” i am choosing to believe this is about river thank you and good night.

[notfreetoday]

MPW: Segasaki & Yoh - Language Analysis Part 1

Subtitle Corrections: EP 1 || EP 2 || EP 3

My Personal Weatherman is a story about the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh, so rather than being introduced to the characters, we the audience are dropped right into the middle of their relationship, and the only way we learn about the characters as individuals is through the way they interact with each other, and how that contrasts with how they interact with the people around them.

The show does an incredible job of keeping the portrayal of their relationship consistent across the use of character design, wardrobe, lighting, cinematography, acting choice, directorial choices and of course language use. But not everyone who watches has equal access to that last one, so I try to be as detailed as possible in my subtitle corrections posts. I'm also a bit of a language nerd. Now, I want to get into their actual relationship, because I think there is a lot of information about how they feel towards each other that's just getting missed. Also I love them and this is how I spazz.

This post is the first of four in which I hope to show how the dynamic between Segasaki and Yoh is reflected in the way they speak - specifically, in the way they address each other, and the style shifting, or speech level shifts that they both demonstrate with each other, using scenes from Ep 1 - 3. I'll be using my own translations for this, some of which differ from the Eng subs. (Please bear with the nerdiness - I don't want to assume how much people know about Japanese)

Prefacing this by saying that this language analysis is made specifically in the context of Segasaki and Yoh's relationship. There is a power imbalance here both in terms of social hierarchy (senpai/kouhai, age gap, successful/non-successful) as well as self-image (self-confident/self-conscious). Now, most of the time we see this manifested linguistically as the party with more social power using casual language forms, whilst the one with less power remains polite or formal. However, there is much more to human interaction than that, as we see in MPW where both Segasaki and Yoh shift in and out of Speech Styles often, depending on what they want to say and accomplish, as well as their emotional state.

1) Quick & Dirty Guide To Speech Styles/Formality Levels

Formality/Politeness is a spectrum and is expressed mostly through grammar and tone (sorry for the shitty word doc screencap):

1) desu/masu = formal/polite. Standard go to with the anyone you meet. 2) Generally speaking, the longer the sentence/the more syllables you hear, the more polite the sentence 3) The less direct you can be, the more polite you will sound 4) Word contractions (tsuzukereba -> tsuzukerya) = informal + impolite (but not always rude) 5) Slurred end vowels (iranai -> iranee) = informal + mostly rude, but not always (you just sound uncouth) 6) Most words have "formal", "informal" or even "rude" variations 7) CONTEXT DETERMINES EVERYTHING Btw when I say "speaks roughly" or uses "rough speech", I mostly mean (4) + (5)

2) Speech Styles and Shifting Between Them

tl;dr Japanese Speech Styles function like the verbal equivalent of personal space - the more formal/polite the level, the bigger the circle of personal space you maintain. Shifts in speech styles indicate: 1) perceived changes in vertical and/or horizontal distance 2) the assumption of a position/role of the speaker in relation to the listener 3) changes in emotional state/the desire to convey emotion 4) the consideration of "polite company" In this post we will look at examples of the first one - Vertical and Horizontal Distance.

Speech Styles: The Long Version (English Speaker POV)

Consider the way you speak if you were to say, give an important presentation in front of potential clients, versus the way you'd speak to an acquaintance you ran into on the street vs the way you'd speak to your closest friends. Different situations call for different ways of speaking - you're more likely to speak in full sentences and pronounce your words clearly for the first situation, and say "yes" instead of "yep" or "uh huh". You're also more likely to be blunt/direct with your friends than you are with clients - "You know ILU but do not under any circumstances buy that ugly ass shirt".

These context-dependent changes in speech patterns are similar to the changes in speech styles/formality levels in Japanese. Think of speech styles as the verbal equivalent of personal space. The more formal/polite the level, the bigger the circle of personal space you maintain. Dropping a level when you shouldn't is the verbal equivalent of invading someone's personal space and can make people uncomfortable and sometimes even angry. In Japan, the baseline "distance" with the average person is the way you would speak as if you were giving a presentation. Dropping to casual/informal speech might be tolerated (just like how you can tolerate someone sitting close to you and asking some questions, but it's uncomfortable), especially if you guys are around the same age, but dropping to "what's up bitcheees" when you should be at "hey how're you doing" basically tells the other person "I don't have even the basic level of respect for you".

In the same vein, the closer you are to someone, the more welcome you are in their personal space, and thus the lower the level of formality/politeness you'll keep with them. You trust that even if you speak bluntly, they'll understand you aren't trying to insult them. When and to what extent you drop a level is usually negotiated between individuals (either directly or indirectly). Once a level of casualness is established, your friends are going to look at you funny if you suddenly get all formal with them. They might even come ask if anything's wrong, or if you're angry at them or why you sound "cold". These shifts in speech levels therefore mark more than just the vertical distance between two people (ie, differences in social hierachy), they mark the horizontal distance (ie, how close people of the same "in-group" are to each other) too.

Having said that, there are times when you will shift to a more formal tone even with your friends or family - for example, when you're hosting a game at a large party and want to explain the game rules to everyone, you might enunciate your words better or keep the jokes to the minimum in order to convey the information is clearly and efficiently as possible. Similarly, if you've been appointed the leader in a group project and need people to pay attention and listen, you might change your tone of voice to command attention. In other words, when you assume a particular position, the way you speak changes too.

Finally, the way you speak to your friends/family in the presence of others (or "polite company", as they used to say) might also change - you might have no qualms cursing up a storm with your best buddy at the bar, but you might do your best to avoid being too vulgar when you're in front of their parents or your boss/university professor.

3) Segasaki and Yoh: Vertical & Horizontal Distance

Segasaki and Yoh are part of the same "in-group" in that they are in a relationship, so the horizontal distance between them is very small and before sunny days it's a negative distance - this is shown in how both Segasaki and Yoh use informal speech with each other (they generally omit the desu/masu forms aka use plain forms, and both use the informal pronoun "俺/ore" for "I" with each other).

That said, there is also a hierarchy within that relationship (though their individual perceptions of that vertical distance differs) which stems not only from the nature of their living agreement, but also is likely to have carried over from their university days, when they shared a senior/junior relationship. Thus, generally speaking, Segasaki speaks quite roughly with Yoh whilst Yoh tends to use polite forms more often. Keep in mind however, that Japanese is a gendered language, and "rough speech" tends to be seen as a masculine speech pattern and can sometimes be normal between close male friends/family (otherwise, it is the verbal equivalent of getting up in someone's face and pushing them). The key here is that Yoh sticks to an informal, but more polite level than Segasaki does, and it is that difference that shows the power differential.

Horizontal Distance aka "We're Very Close"

Despite Yoh's very valid complaint that Segasaki takes "man-of-few-words" to the next level (itself a liberty you'd only take with someone close to you), Segasaki only drops to rude forms in Ep 1 once:

晩飯いらねぇ(banmeshi iranee) - slurred vowel [literally - "dinner, not needed"] Banmeshi is a more informal way of saying dinner (normal = yuu gohan). Despite the slurred vowel, this sentence is not dismissive nor rude - it's what you'd expect between close friends/family.

In Ep 2 we hear Segasaki speak a lot more roughly to Yoh, as below, and of course during the almost-argument. But though his words are rough his intonation is often soft and he's quite tender with his touch. So, we can see that Segasaki isn't being disrespectful per se - he's not speaking roughly because he sees Yoh as beneath him in the social hierarchy - rather, he's demonstrating intimacy, familiarity and possessiveness, all at once. In fact, the more possessive he feels of Yoh, the more he drops his levels. As mentioned earlier, you only do this with people in your "in-group", with whom you know will understand you aren't insulting them.

遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう (osokunaru kara iranee ttsutta darou) - slurred vowel, word contraction, informal end particle [I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right?] Though somewhat in keeping with Segaski's curtness, this is still a pretty harsh sounding line - but note how Yoh doesn't seem offended or intimidated in the slightest - he understands that Segasaki is tired after a long day, and in return Segasaki softens his tone when he next asks "What did you make?"

Vertical Distance

It's easy to focus on Segasaki's use of rough, assertive langauge as an indicator of vertical distance, and I pointed out quite a few scenes in Ep 3 where he ends off what is essentially an order with assertive sentence-final particles. But focusing on this alone gives the mistaken impression that relationships with vertical distance go one way only - down - when in fact they are bidirectional. There is a mutual dependency between both parties, as we see clearly in MPW. Linguistically, this is portrayed through Yoh's choices to shift up a speech level.

Just like how Segasaki is introduced to the audience through his proposal direct, informal and very forceful speech style, the first interaction we see Yoh have with Segasaki is a proper, standard greeting:

おかえりなさい (okaerinasai) [Welcome back] Okaerinasai is the full, proper way to say this, but a more casual and common way to say this would simply be "okaeri". See Ep 3 for discussion on standard greetings.

When Yoh thinks about Segasaki in his head, he often uses rough speech the same way Segasaki does, including the rude pronouns "aitsu/koitsu (that guy/this guy)", and yet when he speaks directly to Segasaki, he maintains an informal but still polite/neutral speech style. He rarely shifts down to rude forms, barely coming close even when drunk and emotional, but he does often switch up to a more polite level. In the above example, Yoh uses the full standard greeting in response to Segasaki's unspoken request:

俺、帰ってるんだけど (ore, kaetterun dakedo) [I've already come back, you know] Ending with "dakedo" implies that speaker is going to follow up with something, usually a request or a question. In Japanese, this request/question is often left out, because the context given prior to "dakedo" is usually enough for the listener to fill in the gaps themselves. In this case, Segasaki might want a greeting or dinner, but at the very least, it's clear he wants Yoh's attention.

We know the standard greeting earlier was a style shift upwards because later in the episode, when Yoh says good night, he uses the casual version "oyasumi" instead of the full "oyasuminasai".

Even outside of standard phrases, Yoh's baseline is informal but not rude:

あ、いま準備する (Ah, ima junbi suru) - plain form [Ah, I'll prepare it now]

Probably the most telling is in Ep 3, when he's caught off guard whilst folding laundry.

あ、なに？ (Ah, nani?) - plain form [Oh! What?] He answers Segasaki naturally, with just a word, as opposed to a proper “Hai/Yes?”, which he’s done sometimes when he’s unsure of himself, or if he's addressed directly.

So, we've established that Yoh’s baseline with Segasaki is informal but not rude - he feels comfortable enough with Segasaki to default to casual speech, but he acknowledges the power differential between them by simultaneously accepting Segasaki's rough speech as well as not dropping to it himself. This also tells us that the shifts up to formal/polite speech are deliberate and mean something. In EP 2, the shift demonstrated his insecurity surrounding his jealousy and their lack of physical affection, whereas in EP 3, he does it as a way to convey his gratitude.

In the next part, we'll look at how both Segasaki and Yoh use speech style shifts to convey emotion as well as to assume a particular position. Hope you enjoyed this!

[jpmarvel90]

Not going to make it

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Relationship: Scarlett x Reader

Summary: Y/n and Scarlett are expecting their first baby together. But when Scarlett's project is delayed, there's a risk she may not make it home for the birth.

Word Count: 4498

Y/n's POV:

Never allow your wife to go and work on a project a month before you are due to give birth. That's exactly what I did and now I'm regretting it as I'm sat in the delivery room about to push a baby out of my who ha. To be fair, she didn't really want to go, but I'm in an incredible amount of pain now, so everything is her fault! Let me back up a bit.

I've been in an incredible relationship with Scarlett for 8 years. Married for 5 of them. We met a while before that though on the set of Iron Man 2. I was one of the cinematography assistants on set. Scarlett, being the wonderful person she was, always made an effort with everyone on set. She knew everyone's name and treated them the same as she would her fellow cast mates.

Our relationship turned into one of friendship when she was going through her divorce. I was working to make sure everything was ready on a set on the backlot. Turns out Scarlett was using it to have her daily meltdown. Her words, not mine. At first, I didn't know what to do. In the end, just sat next to her and offered her a tissue. She broke the silence to explain what was happening.

From that day, we became close. She would search me out when she was having a down moment, and we'd go to an unused set, and she would let her feelings out. Sometimes she would scream, others cry. Sometimes she would be so angry she's just kicked the shit out of the props. It was cute, because she would then politely put everything back to where it was before her rampage.

I often didn't say anything. I think I was mainly there as a soundboard for her. I didn't try to offer her much advice. My own love life was a disaster so I couldn't speak with any wisdom on the matter. As things from her divorce calmed down, we started to hang out away from set. Coffee and lunch here and there. It was nice to see the change in her as she started to get over and move on from her divorce.

In fact, I was surprised when she had moved on far enough that she kissed me at a cast party for Avengers. I had just got a promotion and Kevin had talked about me taking over head of cinematography when Patrick retired at the end of this movie. I was so excited, and Scarlett was the first person that I wanted to tell. After I excitedly told her, she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a kiss filled with fireworks, whispering "I'm so proud of you." I was completely shocked, but after talking, we both admitted that we had feelings for each other and started to go on dates together.

We were definitely a slow burn. Although the feelings there definitely there, there was always a hesitation to take it to the next step. It wasn't until I was going to work on a movie in England that it kind of forced us to address the situation. Scarlett burst through the door to my apartment almost in a rage. "Were you going to tell me that you are moving to England for 6 months?" She fumed.

"I only found out this morning and was planning to tell you over dinner tonight." I admitted, as she towered over me whilst I was sat on my sofa. "Oh, uh. Sorry. Seems I overreacted a little here." She awkwardly laughed, rubbing at the back of her neck. I was quick to pull her down onto my lap. "I don't want you to go without knowing you're mine." She whispered with vulnerability. "Oh Scarlett. I have always been yours." I confess, making her eyes light up. "Be my girlfriend." She rushed out as she cupped my cheeks.

I leaned in and captured her lips in a sweet kiss. "I'm taking that as a yes." She grinned and I nodded. "I've wanted to ask you for so long, but I didn't know if you were there yet." I admitted shyly. "Babe, we've been dating for 4 months. Of course I was there. But I appreciate you being so thoughtful of my own feelings. But let's make sure that we have clear communication. We're going to need it over the next six months." She suggested, something I easily agreed to.

Those six months were really tough. Being so new to our relationship, I think we were both worried that it would be too much of a strain to have a long distance relationship. But we made the effort with each other, both taking the trip across the pond to spend time together, talking every day. I actually think it's why our relationship is so strong.

I knew after being with her for less than a year that I wanted to propose, but her work schedule, and mine, as I worked with Marvel, became so busy. I wanted the proposal to be perfect, so I waited. Too long really. I proposed after we had been together for two years. With the help of our friends in the cast and crew, I proposed on the set where I first saw her having her break down. That was where I started to have feelings for her. The set may have changed over the years, but my feelings for her didn't.

A year later and we tied the note and have been happily married ever since. We made a home in New York, and it was where we planned to start our family. It's not been an easy journey to get here. IVF was difficult. With the commitments Scarlett had, we agreed that I would carry first, and then Scarlett would carry our second. But it took us a little longer than we had anticipated to get pregnant the first time round. It took us 18 months. It's not bad in the grand scheme of things and people go for much longer. But for us, we were so desperate for our own little family, it was a painful time. Especially when I miscarried twice.

But after a year and a half of trying, we were finally successful. We were so cautious in the early stages. I barely went out and took some time out of work for a month. The press, and even our friends, thought that we were going through a breakup. So, it was a shock to them all when we announced our pregnancy when I reached 12 weeks.

Our friends and family were so happy for us. Scarlett's mom only lives a few minutes away and her dad is within the hour. Being based in New York wasn't what some of our friends wanted though. Both Lizzie, Scar's best friend, and Florence, mine, bought apartments near us so they could be near by once the baby came along. There were like two sisters to us. It was great.

Through my pregnancy, Scar was amazing. Very protective, not that I blame her after the stress the miscarriages put us through. But she was so loving, and my favourite moments were watching her interact with the bump. Every night she would read a book to them, and she would so often singing to them. Though this would often send me to sleep as her voice is so calming to me.

I was annoyed when it was a Marvel project that caused there to be a hint of worry that she wouldn't make it for the birth. Initially there weren't any issues. She was filming on the new Scarlett Witch movie. It was a great opportunity, with Natasha coming back in the Multi-Verse and Scar was so happy to be back in the Marvel fold.

The project was due to finish a month before my due date. We talked for a long while about whether she was going to take it. To be fair, it was mainly me trying to convince her to go. I knew how much she wanted this, and I didn't want me or our child to be the reason she didn't get to do something she loved so much. It was the promise that her mom and Flo would be around for anything I might need that ultimately helped to convince her.

We were both shocked when Hunter came back from Puerto Rico to be around for the birth. He stayed with Melanie but was a great entertainment to me. Flo was around every day, and she would often stay over. In the beginning, it was actually quite fun. I was waited on hand and foot, with Hunter and Flo being far too scared of Scarlett to do anything less.

But then I got a phone call I dreaded. When I answered the phone, I could already head that Scarlett was crying. It sent my anxiety up straight away and I was terrified that something was wrong. "I'm so sorry." Is all she kept repeating, but not actually telling me what she was sorry for. I could hear Lizzie in the background trying to calm her down.

It took her 15 minutes until she was able to calm down and tell me that filming was delayed by two weeks. She was terrified that she was going to miss the birth of the baby. I was too, but I didn't want to make her feel any worse by adding to those fears. Instead, I took the time to talk her down and explain that there would be time and at the last appointment, out little man was very comfortable and didn't look to want to be going anywhere.

I even worked out how long it would take her to get to be from Atlanta and showed her that unless I was having a super speedy labour, she would more than likely make it in time if she was able to leave as soon as she knew. Thankfully she agreed and stopped threatening to walk out on her contract. As I knew Kevin Feige quite well, I called him up and explained the situation. He said that he would allow Scarlett to leave if I went into labour and offered his own private jet to ensure that she got here as quickly as she could.

It was all sorted and everything was going to work out. That was until I started to feel lower back pain when heading to bed one night. Not thinking too much of it, as I had pretty bad back pain through the pregnancy, I ran a warm bath and soaked to help ease the pain.

It helped and I climbed into bed feeling slightly better. I feel asleep pretty easily, but I woke up with the pain returning. I looked at the clock on the side of the bed and saw that it read 3am. I got up to make myself a cup of tea and a quick snack as I was getting pretty hungry. By 8am, I was worried as the pain wasn't going away. I picked up the phone and decided that it would be best to call Flo, just in case. "Hey Y/n/n. Everything ok?" Her perky voice echoed down the phone. "Hi Flo. Could you come over. I'm not feeling great and think it would be best to have someone here just in case something happens." I ask.

Before I can even finish asking, I can hear her moving around her apartment. "I'll be there in 15 minutes. Do you think you've gone into labour?" She asks and I think about how I'm feeling. "It's only a sore back. Probably nothing." I try to shut down any thoughts of this baby coming early. I've still got another 10 days until the due date and Scarlett is due home in two days. This little bugger better stay put.

When Flo arrived, she helped get me comfortable on the sofa. I considered calling Scarlett, but I didn't want to worry her if this wasn't the real thing. But the decision was soon taken from me when I shot up from the sofa, clinging to my back and stomach as a wave of pain washed over me. I tried the best I could to breathe through it. Flo came in just as I was coming to the end of is and her face turned to have a worried look on it. "Shit! Y/n are you having contractions?" She asks, taking a seat next to me and slowly rubbing her hand up and down my back.

I nod as I control my breathing and wait for the pain to pass. "You need to time them." I grimace as I try and get comfortable again. Flo grabs her phone and starts a timer. "Ok, we need to call Scar." She says, handing me my phone. I call her a few times and she doesn't answer. "Seriously!" I huff when she doesn't pick up for the fifth time. I change tack and call Lizzie instead. She answers after two rings.

"Hi Y/n. Are you ok?" She asks with a cheery voice. "Are you with Scarlett?" I question and I know she can hear the slight panic in my voice. "She's filming at the moment, but I'm on set. Is everything ok?" She enquires. "I think I'm in labour." I reply, which earns a squeal of excitement. "Lizzie. Any chance I can speak with my wife?" I ask when she doesn't seem to be doing anything but bouncing around with excitement. "Oh right. Of course. I'm on my way."

I listen as she rushes across set. I hear the voice of Kevin and then he calls out to Scarlett. There's some mumbling before I finally hear my wife's voice. "Hi my love. Is everything ok?" She asks a little out of breath. "How quickly can you get to New York?" I ask, feeling a pain starting to pick up again. "Don't mess around Y/n." She lightly scolds, but the sudden cry of pain shows her that this is no joke. "Oh shit. Is that a contraction?" She questions through the phone, her voice getting frantic.

"No, I just like crying down the phone to you." I respond sarcastically. "Fuck. I'm not there. I have to be there." She starts to panic. "Then get going." I almost shout down the phone as Flo tries to help me through the contraction. "Right! Yes. Put Flo on the phone." She orders and I put the phone on speaker. "I'm here Scar." Flo announces, giving me a smile. "How far apart are her contractions?" She quizzes. "At the moment 15 minutes and her waters haven't broken yet." She informs my panicking wife.

There's some mumbling as she talks to someone and then returns her attention back to us. "Ok, when they're 5 minutes apart, she has to go to the hospital. I'm going to leave as soon as I can. I just need to change and then I'm heading to the airport. I should be with you within 7 hours. Call my mom and brother so they're there too." She instructs to Flo. "Just hold on for me babe. I promise that I'm going to be there, right by your side." She then tries to comfort me. "I need you Scar." I cry as I finally come through the contraction. "I know my love. I'm going to be with you as fast as I can." She says, before reluctantly telling me she needs to hang up so she can get ready.

After that phone call, Flo does as asked and calls Melanie and Hunter. They both say to call when we go to the hospital as they don't want to crowd me. Which I'm really grateful for. It's now a waiting game for my contractions to get closer together. I stand up to walk off some of the pain, slowly rubbing my hand over my bump. "I'm begging you little man. Please hold on so your mama can get here." I beg him, not wanting to do this without her.

My phone rings and I grab it to see a facetime from Scarlett. I answer it to see her smiling at me, but I also see the concern in her eyes. "Hi babe. I'm in the car on the way to the airport. How are you?" She asks me. "Sore. This fucking hurts Scar." I tell her and she chuckles, but quickly stops when I glare at her. "I miss you." I sniffle, trying to hide the tears. "I miss you too. So much. But I'm going to be with you before you know it!" She tries to comfort me.

"How far apart are your contractions now?" She questions. I look over to Florence. "8 minutes." She informs me. I see Scar's face falter at that. "Wow, that's quick." She mumbles, panic taking over her. "You'll get here on time." I tell her more confidently than I feel. "Maybe I can just close my legs." I joke which makes her laugh. But that soon stops when I feel a gush of water between my legs. I look down and see a puddle of liquid by my feet. "Y/n?" Scarlett calls to me.

I slowly meet her eyes through the phone. "My waters just broke." I inform her. Flo jumps up from her seat when she hears that and gasps when she sees the state of me. "Shit. OK um, I'm just at the airport. Kevin's plane is waiting for me, and I should be in the air within an hour." She tells me. "Ok angel. We'll be waiting for you." I tell her with a smile, trying not to show her the fear I'm feeling that she's not going to make it.

90 minutes later and my contractions are now 5 minutes apart. Scarlett messaged to say they were just taking off about 15 minutes ago so it was definitely going to be close, she still has at least 4 to 5 hours until she can realistically be with us. "Come on Y/n/n. Let's get you in the car. I've called ahead to the hospital and let Melanie and Hunter know too. They're going to meet us there." Flo tells me as she helps to guide me to the car. She runs back into the house and grabs the to go bag and we're on our way.

It's been over three hours since we've arrived at the hospital. I'm now 6cm dilated and I no longer have control over my emotions. "Where is she?!" I shout through another contraction, my hand squeezing the sides of the bed. "She should be landing any minute now sweetie." Melanie tries to comfort me, dabbing at my head with a wet cloth. "I can't do this on my own." I start to cry. Melanie and Flo both stop what they're doing, taking one of my hands each. "She'll be here. And if she isn't, you're not alone. You have us with you. We're not going anywhere." Melanie tells me firmly.

I'm not close with my parents. When I came out, it had a negative affect on my relationship with them. When I told them I was pregnant, they could barely hide their disgusted at the thought of Scarlett and I having a child together. Melanie has been the mother I didn't have and I'm so grateful that she's here. But she's not the one that I want next to me. I want my wife.

"She's landed and making her way here." Hunter rushes into my room with a smile, but it's not met with enthusiasm. "She's 9cm dilated. It's almost time." The midwife tells me, but I shake my head refusing to believe it. "Nope. Not happening. I'll just hold my breath or something. This baby is not coming until my wife is next to me." I say firmly. "Come on buddy, we had a talk." I plead to the bump once again, only to be hit by another contraction. "Oh, fuck you!" I scream as Flo imitates the breathing pattern I need to do. "Come on Scar." I whisper to myself.

"No, no, no." I chant, gaining Flo's attention. "What's wrong?" She asks, gently running her fingers through my hair. "I feel the need to push" I tell her, which gets the midwives attention. "Ok, that's the sign that your son wants to join the world now Y/n." She says but I'm shaking my head, sobbing at this point. "NO! She's not here. Please!" I beg, but I know it's no use. "Ok, we can only have one person in the room during labour." The midwife informs the three of them. "You're her back up birthing partner Flo. We'll wait outside." Melanie responds before leaning into leave a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back to meet my grandson." She smiles, which I easily return.

Hunter is next to say goodbye, before they both disappear into the hallway. Flo takes my hand and gives me a confident look. "I thought she'd make it." I cry as Flo tries to shush me. "I know. I know I'm not the one you wanted with you. But I'm not going anywhere." She tells me, providing me the smallest of comforts.

"Ok Y/n. We're going to need you to start pushing with your next contraction." The midwife informs me. She's not here. She's not made it. Our son is going to come into this world without her. As I push with the next contraction, tears stream down my face to know she's not here. It's breaking my heart.

"I'M HERE!" Scarlett's voice fills the room as the door slams open. Relief washes over me as my contraction comes to an end, and I see the one face that I've wanted by my side. Flo places a kiss on my head and leaves so Scarlett can take over. She instantly takes my hand in hers and places a kiss on my head. "I'm so sorry. I'm late." She says panting, out of breath from clearly running. "It's ok. You're here now." I smile at her, puckering up my lips to show I want a kiss. She giggles and leans down and captures my lips in a kiss.

It doesn't last long as another contraction kicks in. "You got this baby. I'm so proud of you." Scarlett encourages as I push. "That's great. Y/n I can see the head. Take some deep breaths for me. You're almost there." The midwife says. I follow Scar who is guiding me through the breathing techniques. "I'm not sure I can go again. This hurts so much." I pant, leaning my head back against the pillow, dreading the next contraction to come. "Yes, you can. You are the strongest person I have ever met. It's something I admire about you so much and our son is so lucky to have you as their mom. I'm here with you. We are going to get through this together."

The sincerity in her voice is making me emotional, until another rush of pain hits. "Sure! Together! How's your pain level?" I hiss as I push once again, for what I hope is the final time. But all that frustration washes away when a baby's cry rings out. I look to Scar, to see her eyes filled with tears. There is no sound more magical. "Congratulations. You have a healthy baby boy." The midwife tells us, with a big smile. "Go cut the cord." I instruct Scarlett, with a push, who's reluctant to leave me. She places a kiss on my forehead and moves down towards our son.

She lets out a gasp as she meets him. "He's gorgeous." She whispers in awe. "Just like his mama." I smile. Seeing how happy Scarlett is as she takes the scissors to cut the cord. The midwife wraps a towel around the baby and pass him to Scarlett who holds him like he's made of glass. "He's got your eyes." She says as she walks him towards me and places him on my chest. Tears fall freely as his eyes meet mine. "Hi there. I'm your mom." I say with a teary smile.

Scarlett wraps her arm around my shoulders and rest her other hand on the baby. "He's perfect. Thank you." She beams, turning her gaze to me, love overflowing. "Thank you for making me a mom." She clarifies, leaning down to rest her head on my own. "We're a family of three." I smile and she chuckles. "My perfect family." She sighs contently.

After going through birthing the placenta and getting myself and the baby cleaned up. All the pain and grossness are in the past as this bright bundle of joy rests in my arms. Calmness now fills the room as Scarlett sits next to me, cooing at our newborn son. A knock at the door draws our attention as Melanie pokes her head around. "Can we come in?" She asks and we both nod quickly.

The door opens fully, and she's followed in by Hunter, Flo and also Lizzie. "They all gasp as they see the baby in my arms. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet our son. Leo Hunter Johansson." Scarlett announces to everyone's surprise. Hunter is frozen to the spot as tears fill his eyes. "Really?" He asks and Scarlett nods, standing up to pull him into a hug. "Do you want to hold your grandson?" I ask Melanie who nods, words escaping her.

I adjust my hold so she can take him. As soon as he's in her arms, she's cooing and crying herself. "My first grandchild." She babbles. Flo and Lizzie take their place by my side as Scarlett, Hunter and Melanie have a moment together. "What are you doing here Lizzie?" I ask. "I couldn't let her go on her own. She was so out of it, I'm sure she'd have gotten on the wrong plane! Besides, I wanted to be here to meet my nephew." She replies, a big grin her face.

I then turn to Flo who's already looking at me. "Thank you for being there for me. I can't thank you enough. I don't think I could have done any of this without you." I tell her honestly. "What else are sisters for." She states simply, and just like that the dam breaks and I cry into her shoulder. Stupid hormones!

After everyone has had a cuddle, they eventually have to leave as visiting hours are over. Scarlett's allowed to stay with me before Leo and I are discharged in the morning. She scoops Leo up into her arms and starts to walk around the room, bouncing him in her arms. I take a few photos and videos as she starts to sing to him. It fills my heart with so much joy and love and I can't wait for our lives together as a family.  

[georayn]

my perspective around the crippling yet warm loneliness of fallen angels (no spoilers)

一 Fallen Angels (1995), dir. Wong Kar-Wai

defining this movie is a challenging task. but, if I was to sum it up in one sentence, I guess it would be "corny and depressing romance so corny it becomes refreshing".

I remember Fallen Angels as the first movie I've watched when I decided to take the ritual of watching movies more seriously, and it was basically the first film I'd ever seen that doesn't follow the cookie-cutter hollywood format of the hero's journey (I believe that was around 2 years ago). that's why I have such an affection for this movie.

to this day (and maybe until the day I die) I am not a good movie critic, that's why this is not a well-formulated critique in any way lol. so yes, I may be very biased in the way I percieve this film, so because of this I will not get into much detail of its technical aspects or its issues, I will just try to convince you to watch it if you haven't yet :D

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firstly, I'd like to address an elephant in the room: this is a Wong Kar-Wai film, so it strongly follows his signature style; the surreal and dreamy coloring, jittery camerawork, mind boggling action sequences including the step-frame takes and so much more. but I'm sure you've noticed most of these aspects through other blogs, pinterest boards and tiktok edits, so I want to put more emphasis into his abilities of storytelling and his producing process.

I am not the biggest fan of saying things in the sort of "omg only this director/person could ever create this!", but it is undeniable that WKW's way of thinking is very unconventional. Cristopher Doyle, responsible for a lot of the movie's cinematography (and who is someone that worked with him in many other projects until 2004) says that WKW always tried to look for what the movie had to say, even if discarding parts of the script was necessary. what I admire the most about his work is the way his characters feel alive considering that the flesh of his films are the struggles and "boring" aspects of life. I reeaaally love the way he and his crew are able to make the "disposable" parts of life so interesting. of course, the action and story shifting segments are part of what gives meaning to everything, but the connections between them are what makes all of it worth watching and feeling the characters' emotions.

so, how does the story go? this is actually a tricky question haha. in case you are not familiar, Fallen Angels is directly attached to Chungking Express, another film by Kar-Wai released one year earlier (1994). WKW himself reveals that Chungking Express and Fallen Angels should have been published as one merged movie, but he ended up losing track of the project's length (also, in my opinion, you can watch FA before CE if you want to, it doesn't follow any particular order to me). Here is where his instinct-leading creative process really shines; it may seem impractical, however this project might be the pinacle of his love for cinema, considering it was a project made for "making himself comfortable with making movies again" after a prior not so self-fulfilling project.

"You try to cope with the mass audience, but in fact you are not doing something for them—I would be fighting with myself. I thought, I don’t have to make big films, I can make small films that I can be happy with. I can find my own audience. So I made Chungking Express with a very low budget, and we made the film very quickly, only six weeks from the idea to the edit" 一 Wong Kar-Wai for BOMB magazine, Winter 1998 issue.

considering the whole project, he explains that Chungking Express and Fallen Angels both revolve around the city of Hong Kong, yet in its different sides: the brightly lit and uneventful hustle of the daytime with CE, and the freezing, dark and crippling loneliness of the nighttime through FA.

with that said, in my opinion, neither is "more impactful" or "to be more considered" than the other; as WKW himself said, both are complementary to each other, and even the characters are interchangeable. however, I am here to talk about the rispid and desolating feeling of the "type of loneliness" depicted in Fallen Angels specifically, since it resonates more deeply with me and it might do the same to you if you're looking for big-neon-city anxiety.

一 Fallen Angels (1995), dir. Wong Kar-Wai

now onto the actual story. both movies are divided in 2 "main storylines", contributing to the perspective of interchangeable characters. in Fallen Angels, one of the sides has a more intense dynamic that follows a hitman and his agent, whilst the other follows the wobbly story of a mute man who ends up meeting a heartbroken woman who asks for his help on getting her revenge. this all may seem kind of non-sensical, but I believe that one of the film's most charming features is its ways of making people so unrelated as these characters become so connected and dependant of each other just because of life's randomness yet without making it feel forced.

also, I haven't even mentioned side characters and I think i'd be too dense and maybe annoying to get into the details of their importance (especially if you haven't seen the movie yet), but I guess I could say they are the ones who provoke and question the main ones' morals. here, WKW's characters are the most alive when they feel confused, uncomfortable, alarmed and tired because of the harsh metropolitan life (just like real people). with that, they find themselves in a constant fight with other people's morals and even their own.

this sense of desolation may be depressing at its core, but it also defines the familiar matter between all of these people, bringing a comfort-like yet melancholic sentiment to the situations that unravel; no one is truly right-minded but you always try to consider where they are coming from. they may do fucked up things but they pay the price to life itself.

this melancholy carries the story's events until its very end, and I just love it. of course I'd rather choose that we live in a world where everything is perfect and this comfort found in sadness is unrealistic, but considering the societies we live in, specially in big and poorly planned cities, I find this movie to be a memorable portrait of this misterious feeling of loving desolation.

I wish I was able to get into the details of each character more deeply, but I think that would break the purpose of the "no spoilers" promise I made & I think it's more fun for you to discover them by yourself when watching the film. however, I'd like to say that, even though I feel like everyone in the narrative is able to connect to one another, each one has their singularities, flaws and quirks, which makes the familiarities shared by all the more precious.

therefore, the events and personalities present in this film are incredibly rich and capable of conveying this specific feeling of constant fighting for survival and sanity in such a complex and harsh environment. sometimes the narrative follows the actual outbursts of these causes, but I believe that the true beauty of this movie lies in the moments of hopelessness and fatigue.

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I wish I was able to spark your interest in watching Fallen Angels! this movie is very meaningful to me and I've been interested in writing about it for some time now! the thing is, this is my very first blog post ever so it might end up being shitty and I just don't know it yet hah... it's okay though, I've been struggling with being able to talk about the things I like just because my brain thinks I can't do it, so I think this is a step forward on fixing this! :)

in case you watch the movie, please leave your thoughts here so you can share your perspective! I really want to know other people's opinions about the things I love, even if you don't like it as much!

thank you for reading, see you!!! <3

References:

Wong Kar-Wai for BOMB magazine, Winter 1998 issue: https://bombmagazine.org/articles/1998/01/01/wong-kar-wai-1/

Cristopher Doyle for IstoÉ, 19/03/2021 (in portuguese): https://istoe.com.br/cinema-pelo-olhar-de-christopher-doyle/

P.S: sorry for any English mistakes! you can correct me if you want, I appreciate the feedback!

[possibleblonde]

My Thoughts on Poor Things

This movie was beautiful, and I was mesmerized by nearly every shot; oddly enough, the wide-angle and fish eye shots were my favorite. The unique landscape and vibrant, contrasted world was incredible to see. In some ways the world reminded me of Beau is Afraid, though with a little more garnish whimsy and less outright terror. The fashion, the cinematography, the settings, the score oh my god; technically, this movie is one of my all time favorites

Mark Ruffalo’s character was incredible and he should receive every accolade for his performance. Though I did find it funny to lean over to my sister and say “Hulk SMASH��� every time he got into a fight, his embodiment of the character at play was perfect; he felt truly tangible throughout the story. By far, he was my favorite character in the entire movie (his actions despicable, his moral compass disgusting, his arc so fun and nearly theater-esque—“BELLAAA” was one of my favorite scenes, and one I wish lingered longer)

Similarly, Emma Stone’s performance was indescribable. Her physicality and embodiment of Bella was unlike something I’ve ever seen. She was completely believable at every stage in Bella’s journey, and her movement reflected that. Bella’s growing up was so subtle, yet noticeable all at once; by the end of the movie, it was hard to remember where it began.

I can appreciate the subtextual critique of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, and the feminist themes for what they are. Overall, it was satisfying to see Bella “win” at the end of the day and take control of her narrative. 

However, however.

This trope, this story, is such a unique and powerful metaphor for what women, what girls, go through in their life and in coming to terms with their sexuality, and I was so disappointed by the narrative the movie ended up pushing.

It was so heavy handed at moments when it wanted us to understand what it was trying to tell. When Bella was at the Brothel, after she saw the cruelty in Alexandria, the characters’ practically told us what they wanted us to hear; we nearly had fourth-wall breaks in some of the emotional climaxes of the story.

I wish, I wish, that at any point—towards the end, when Bella learned what she was, towards the beginning, with the proposal of marriage, in the middle, in the climax, during the end credits—that it was a little more directly addressed that these men were in love with a child. Perhaps the absurdity of Mark Ruffalo’s character and his satirical fall to madness, his comedic portrayal and garish nature, was meant as a metaphor to laugh at these men for falling in love with a child. Yet, her true final husband, God’s assistant, is shown in an entirely sympathetic, forgiving and nearly hero-istic light, but he had no qualms with sleeping with her as a child. No, he had issue with sleeping with her out of wedlock. And she is forgiving, understanding, and loving of him (maybe because he doesn’t just love her for her body—but still).

Maybe it is from personal experience, from my own traumatic dealings with sexual assault at a younger age, of my body being treated older than I was in mind, that I find such fault with the message (that I ultimately took away) of “women should be allowed to do what they want with their bodies” and “men should not take advantage of women and treat them as things to be had”. It was a story of one women’s fight for her autonomy; yet at the end, she had no anger, no rage nor hate; she was told by her employer at the brothel that this was the way of things, essentially; she does say at one point that she feels rage—but I don’t think we saw any of that. I think we saw a young woman having a lot of sex in a shitty situation and coming to terms with it, and eventually, making her own way in the world and getting revenge in the ways she could. 

But I wanted to see her cut Mark Ruffalo’s dick off. I wanted to see her scream. I wanted to see her cry tears for her body. I wanted to see her feel something—anything—for the way her autonomy had been taken from her in a tangible way once she came to understand it.

Maybe that was Yorgos’s attempt in the third act, but it was so heavy handed it nearly felt absurd (and not in a good way)—her old husband tried to mutilate her, she turned him into a goat. Girl Power.

This story had such a ripe metaphor for grooming and the sexual exploitation of young girls that it was bursting at the seams. It’s essential to her character the moment she first meets Ruffalo. It is part of her journey, part of her growth; rarely is it addressed directly by the film.

This movie could have been radical, could have been bolder and braver in its message; it had all the makings to do so. It could have been such a moving and empathetic story about the exploitation of young women, of how men have oft viewed girls, of the pain and anger and betrayal of being groomed. And yet, in the third act, it fell flat in the name of a feministic tale it feels has been told through movies throughout time—Barbie, this year, or even Emma Stone’s Easy A. And while these stories are not at fault for their message, and their themes should be shown and are valuable as they are, this movie just had so much potential to do more.

Maybe it is my fault for identifying with aspects of Bella’s character that I felt unexplored. Perhaps it is my undoing that I saw my trauma in hers, that I wanted her to feel the pain that I did when I came to terms with my own experiences. It is possible that I have asserted myself onto Bella, in a lack of feeling that these stories have not been shown so brutally and honestly (as they could’ve been here) before.

Yet I feel it is undeniable that women who have been groomed can watch this movie without seeing Bella, in many ways, as a metaphor of themselves. And it is hurtful that her trauma was left with passive acceptance and forgiveness by all who were there to witness it, that only a man in her past life (a life we did not see) faced true consequence, that at no point in the movie, like other messages, was it directly addressed. Had other themes not been outwardly spoken by the characters so obviously, maybe I would be more forgiving that this one was left to be pieced together.

It is a beautiful and wonderful film that should be awarded for what it is. But I am disappointed for what it could’ve been, and for that it feels hollow. It saddens me more that this metaphor now feels as though it has been used up by this story when it could have been explored for so much more. And now I am left with the feeling that it is my bearing to forgive what I have endured; in many ways this is true, but I somehow leave feeling guilty all the same.

In the end, I am grateful to have watched Poor Things. I would recommend it to the occasionally sexist film buff friend. But I would not recommend it to my youngest sister; though for her, I hope she can watch it and never feel the same as I did. 

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

i think dbk is honestly overrated, or at least that's how i felt about it. i get why people love it so much, but it left a very sour taste in my mouth. going into 2gether, i had already seen a lot of negativity about it, so i expected it to get bad (it did) but i did expect dbk to be a lot more bearable. i think the show just felt so stagnant in terms of petekao, and while i appreciate what it did with the coming out plot, i feel like petekao as a relationship felt really weak and i didn't really root for them to be together?

i didn't like how we could see how pete's possessive behavior having negative impacts on their relationship, and kao feeling compelled to hide things as a result (like, god. he wanted him to just refuse to tutor the kid cuz hes jealous?) was something that instead of being addressed seemed validated. i like flaws, i loooove when characters have big personality flaws, even. but this felt like it was just being validated. we get the vibe that pete was right, and at the end, kao affirms that he likes that pete is possessive. i feel like this would have landed a lot better if instead of possessiveness that feels detrimental, pete grew into being possessive but also respecting this boyfriend. it just felt. odd.

look. i love established relationship and i also ADORE break ups. i think a good break up -> getting back together can be really interesting. i am an exes to lovers enthusiast. but i also almost had zero care about petekao getting back together (this also happened when i watched kiss me again before dbk. i just did not care that much. as a side note the person who directed 2gether, puppy honey, kiss me again, teenage mom, social death vote, etc is my mortal enemy as a 4 pillars fan who has STRONG opinions on the quality of these???) because the show really just made me feel their relationship was really unstable at its foundation? of course, i know they’re good for each other. for example, pete becomes better because of kao. still? didn’t quite work for me.

then there's non. i have no idea how "18year old with a crush on kao who goes too far" became the main driving force of the entire story, because i think there were a multitude of ways to explore the coming out plot poignantly and non was! not it! and i've never enjoyed how they wrote non in the end. in a show where we sympathize with kao for his fear of coming out, i didn't like how we were pitted against the 18yr old with a shitty parent who was scared of coming out. yeah, he fucked up massively and almost ruined kao's life. i get that. but do i think not addressing the massive "bad parent" motivation elephant in the room felt odd? how is it a happy ending that he's just definitely going to suffer cuz of his goddamn strict dad? do we just not care about non? maybe i'm just overly sensitive about this as someone who sympathizes with people who do things because of the fear of their parents (looking at you, ben from nlmg!) and thought it was insulting to me personally that the show said that "a parent will always know what their children are" (i disagree) also pretty much abandoned non? i get most people just found him annoying, but damn. i felt bad. non is like pete in ways, but even more immature and without the presence of a supportive father

oh our skyy was bizarre to me, by the way. less relevant to my opinions on dbk but the characterization was SO off in it and it just felt unneeded. and i’m a kongart our skyy lover so maybe it’s that i subconsciously compared it (our skyy petekao just feels so markedly Not PeteKao of kiss me again OR dbk!) also this didn’t factor into my voting but the continuity changing between kma our skyy and dbk really annoyed me as someone who watched it in order.

i liked sunmork, but a side couple can never save a show for me. the ost & cinematography was nice as well (i looped the theme song so much!) but unfortunately, the show really didn’t work for me. honestly, dbk vs 2gether was hard for me because, well (i could write a rant of this length on 2gether 😭😭😭 maybe longer actually) yeah. but that’s the fun of the competition!

I agree almost completely with everything you say about DBK. Despite finding Non extremely annoying, it left a terrible taste in my mouth that the reason why he was such a dickhead was never addressed and I agree that he got dealt a terrible hand by the narrative.

As for SunMork, I understand your feelings but I have to say that if it wasn't for them I would have never finished DBK. Although it's also true that I watched Not Me way before DBK which endeared to me Gawin soooo much and was also already extremely in love with Podd. That is to say, I was personally invested.

The only episode from that season of Our Skyy I watched was the Puppy Honey one which I liked better than the entire show, so I can't really say anything on the matter of PeteKao there.

I had a completely different experience when first coming into contact with 2gether too and in fact, part of the reason I hate it so much is that I saw nothing but praise for it before watching it and it made me so fucking mad. All the people hailing 2gether as this fantastic, incredible, amazing, showstopping, revolutionary show made me extremely suspicious and then I watched it and completely hated it, and the suspicion turned into absolute fury. Especially when I see it compared to other, better shows as something they should aspire to be.

I realise I'm coming off as extremely mean about it but it pulls some visceral reactions out of me so I'll just stop here before I cross a line.

I love your message, Anon, but it's not lost on me that you didn't actually say which one you voted for!!!!

[bhvr]

hey hows it going i watched maxxxine here is my 1.4k SPOILER-FILLED review i typed up literally just as i got home from the theater

“im basically pearl but if i was a screenwriter from florida”

Before even watching the movie, I was INSANELY hyped for this. I love X and Pearl and have rambled on about why I love these movies (especially Pearl) so many times before. It was here! I was in the theater! Watching it! 

And then I finished the movie, went home, and typed this up. 

POSITIVES

MaXXXine feels like it’s set in the 80s without coming off as corny, fake, or inauthentic. It feels like you’re in the city and hanging around the dregs of underground show business. Maxine is a strong-willed, take-no-shit woman who you feel like isn’t just going to survive despite the fucked up people around her, but because of it. She’s rough, skilled, hot, and THAT BITCH. I love her confidence. She never doubts herself for even a second and wants everyone to know it. 

I really liked how the movie was not afraid to make her ruthless. She fought through X and now, years later, there is nothing that is going to stop her from becoming a star. Maxine straight up CRUSHES A GUY’S BALLS (which includes a pretty nasty shot) because he tried to attack her. I love the portrayal of a woman who will do absolutely anything to keep what she’s earned within her grasp, even if it means straight up murder. The scene where she punches the private investigator with her keys, yells, and kicks his car’s shit in? LOVED IT. She’s working and this guy won’t leave her the fuck alone, so fuck the threats of “well I work for a very dangerous guy”, get out of her life! 

Also! I love horror. Obviously. So I enjoyed the references that were scattered throughout the movie that felt pretty natural. Maybe I’m just crazy, but I swore that scene in act three where Maxine is attacked with the plastic bag was a Black Christmas (1974) reference. Also “Texas Porn Star Massacre” is just funny.  

The soundtrack rocks and so do the outfits and cinematography. There’s so many shots in this movie that I loved!! The lighting was fun and really took advantage of how scenes were set in locations like night clubs.

For the most part, the supporting cast is full of great actors. It’s clear Kevin Bacon had fun and thank GOD Giancarlo Esposito got to do a role that wasn’t “cold calculating CEO” or any of that. Lily Collins rocks.

CRITICISMS

However, I do have a number of criticisms about the movie. One thing that stuck out to me the most was how it felt like certain story threads ended up leading absolutely nowhere. No characters, from Maxine’s-seemingly-only-friend to the detectives following her, demonstrate any sort of interest in her past– I fully expected Maxine’s “Maybe she should save herself. I did.” line to provoke curiosity in the female detective, making her wonder what Maxine has gone through to give her such a vindictive “I owe nobody anything because nobody ever saved me” attitude, but it ended up going nowhere. Several lines, details, and scenes that made me think “oh! someone’s going to find out about the farm massacre/her trauma/literally anything!” went nowhere. As for the Night Stalker (which acts almost purely as one of the film’s handful of red herrings), I’m still conflicted on how I feel about it. 

[Side note: why… why was there a line where Maxine’s friend, Leon, sees an unknown guy, says something like “I don’t work in that business anymore, this is a video store”, and then… it’s never addressed. The only info ever shown about the guy is that he’s chill, a good friend, Maxine likes him because he “isn’t trying to fuck her”, he likes horror movies, and works in a video store. He gets murdered after that line and is never mentioned again. Cool.]

I also wish that there had been more scenes of Maxine actually BEING AN ACTRESS. We barely see her on set and from what I remember we never see her actually act in the big shot movie she’s been cast in. C’mon, man. It did not feel like she was struggling to balance work with the shit going on in her life. If anything, her work life felt almost like an afterthought, despite being the thing she’s been working towards her entire life. I know she’s willing to kill and maim without thinking twice for her dreams, but show me the pay-off! Show me her being passionate and glad to be doing her dream job that will launch her into fame!

Speaking of lack of things, I wish Mia Goth had more lines. Shocking, I know. She’s literally THE lead actress we never take our eyes off of and there were at least two scenes where I thought “Why doesn’t she have any dialogue? It’s just the other character talking to themselves and it feels awkward.” She asks her agent if anything she tells him will be legally confidential, and… her lines disappear. No, she does not tell him “back in ‘79 two old people murdered all my friends and tried to kill me so I had to kill them”, but she DOES enlist his help straight up killing a guy. We literally see there’s news evidence of, as the headline reads, “THE TEXAS PORN STAR MASSACRE”. The porno is police evidence. Maxine is known to have been there. It goes nowhere and doesn’t feel threatening in the slightest.

Overall, there are so many intriguing plot threads and storylines this movie could’ve focused on it, but all it did was jump around, unable to settle on one. As a result, all of them suffer.

This movie also suffers from feeling like we’ve gone from an incredibly long act 1 to act 3 in an instant. I LOVE horror movies. This did not feel like it had the rising tension needed in one. I found myself thinking halfway through what turned out to be act 2 “Wow, this is taking a bit to ramp up. I’m sure it’ll be worth it once we’re at the peak of the rising tension” aaaand then we’re in act 3 and catching The #1 Antagonist Of The Movie. Wait, what? Oh. We’re at the conclusion. Cool.

The reveal was lame and felt out of nowhere, to put it bluntly. Please just give me rising tension. Give me Maxine figuring out it’s been her dad all along (if that’s really what we want to go with…) and the drama of it all. Don’t just drop it on my head after throwing red herrings at me for over an hour. 

On another note, I want to circle back around and talk about the acting and the directing. I’m sorry, but the fucking male cop just talking perfectly normally before dying 1 second later took me out of the film. This is a guy who has been shot in the torso and is actively dying– why the fuck is he talking like he ran into Maxine at the grocery store? Further, Mia Goth is a PHENOMENAL actress. We’ve seen Pearl and X, that’s why we’re here, so it’s rather disappointing to see her not get the chance to show emotion. Yes, it has been years since the farm murders and she’s changed as a person, she’s jaded and cold and more cutthroat than ever, but I genuinely can’t tell if it was the intention for her to come off so blank for a chunk of scenes. What happened to her punching the private detective with keys in her fists and leaving him all fucked up and bloody and then kicking his car mirrors in? Show me more of that! Show me her emotion!! You’ve just discovered your father is the one who has been killing those around you and fucking up your life, you’re so shocked and vulnerable that you’re allowing him to take your gun from you without a fight, so WHY–

Anyway. The scenes where Maxine's PTSD is shown felt like they were written with the intention of showing her PTSD without it being intertwined with her character. Once the scenes are over, they're over.

I blame Ti West. A director’s job is to, y’know, direct the actors, so that’s that. But also I don’t think there was any saving Halsey’s performance– sorry, if I was Ti West I would’ve told her to cut the bad Jersey(?) accent before I cut her out of the film entirely. 

I’ll keep my thoughts on how I personally would have written scenes ranging from the death of Maxine’s father to the meeting with her agent to myself, but this felt very much like an early draft that should’ve been beta read by a few more people. There is so much potential in this film, but I genuinely wonder if some part of the production process was rushed and if that’s why the movie is Like This. 

gave it a 3.5/5 on letterboxd

[flowersandfashion]

Eloise,

I just wanted to say thank you for your blog. This is going to sound insane but the pipeline to finding your account went like this:

I've been struggling with lots of stuff ranging from my girlfriend of a few years breaking up with me to me heavily struggling with being sexualized by people close to me. All in all, I was looking for posts about womanhood and the like but as a femme sapphic woman, I felt so connected to your account. The aesthetics of it just really made me feel at ease and happy.

I was just curious, do you have any favorite pieces of media like books or movies you really love? I'm just trying to surround myself with stuff like that to help me feel better.

Sorry for all of that, just wanted to spread some love and appreciation. :))

- 🪻

Hello you gorgeous soul, thank you so much for taking the time to write this, you've made my day 💖 This blog is truly just me compiling pretty things that bring me joy, so it's lovely to think that it can have a similar effect on others.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, in addition to sending you virtual hugs and kisses (xoxoxo), I have no shortage of media recommendations (especially with themes of sapphic womanhood) to offer you:

Anne with an E (2017-2019)

This is my go-to whenever I'm feeling anxious. Not only are the aesthetics absolutely gorgeous, but I adore the way it focuses on female friendships and finding your own identity. It's not afraid to address dark topics but always has an overall message of love and acceptance. I especially love how this adaptation represents queer identity too (Anne and Diana are girlfriends to me. and god bless Cole and Josephine).

I highly recommend the original novel Anne of Green Gables too! The show definitely captures the vibes perfectly so if you like one, you'll like the other.

A League of Their Own (2022)

I couldn't care less about baseball but I do love queer found family and women solidarity, and this has it in spades. All the characters are so loveable and it's just a nice heartwarming story (and very sad at points, but definitely uplifting as a whole).

Heartstopper (2022–)

Truly the ultimate queer comfort show. I don't have any particular thoughts about it that haven't been expressed by other people more eloquently. But my opinions can be summarised simply as: it's good, it's really good, it's so wholesome, the characters are so loveable, I love it.

Emma (2020)

This film is so goddamn pretty. I could watch it on mute and still have a great time just from all the beautiful costumes and cinematography. But the plot is delightful too. Dare I say that this film captures Jane Austen's wit and satire better than any other adaptation. I love how all of her novels portray women finding their way in the world and navigating relationships with friends and family, but I think Emma is especially great in this regard. (Also, Emma and Harriet are girlfriends to me).

Again, I would also recommend the novel Emma. It's quite a challenging read if you're not used to the writing style, but delightful once you get into it. And if we're talking Jane Austen novels, Persuasion is also a favourite of mine (definitely don't watch that film though).

Dating Amber (2020)

This is a tragically underappreciated Irish, queer, coming of age indie film. It's basically about a gay guy and lesbian who pretend to date each other in high school in 1990s Ireland. It's very funny (also sad at times) but ultimately very heartwarming.

Because I'm a sucker for a gay/lesbian beards found family trope, I also recommend these book: The Inverts (1920s lavender marriage, very funny, Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo vibes) and Gwen & Art Are Not in Love (Arthurian legend beard relationship, also very funny and camp, BBC Merlin vibes [if you get me]).

And if you like Dating Amber, you'll probably also like Handsome Devil. Another Irish, queer, coming of age indie film (but mlm-centric). It stars the same actor as Dating Amber (Fionn O'Shea), alongside a baby-faced Nicholas Galitzine and Andrew Scott. Imagine Dead Poets Society vibes, except instead of being about Romantic poetry, it's about New Romantic music. And explicitly gay and with a happier ending. (Sorry, this is like four recommendations in one).

The House in the Cerulean Sea

This book is described on the cover as 'like being wrapped up in a big gay blanket', and that is a very accurate description. Imagine Good Omens except it's Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (I'm half convinced it's ineffable husbands fanfic tbh). This book made me cry happy tears, it's so incredibly heartwarming and uplifting. Top-notch found family and agonisingly slow-burn pining.

Other honourable mentions:

Please Like Me (2013-2016)

One Day at a Time (2017-2020)

Gentleman Jack (2019-2022)

Little Women (2019)

Pride (2014)

Ladybird (2018)

[sageandred]

In depth wtFOCK Season Three Thoughts (Part 2 Through the Seasons Review)

The other girl (Noor) storyline was questionable. (Having it take 3 episodes before Sander is introduced was a choice).

-and it's not like I'm closed off to changes, but I feel like they still could've introduced Sander in a different way without taking a 3rd of the season to do so (but I do like the little Where's Waldo of Sander in background scenes)

-I really thought there would be more significance/fallout to the Robbe-Noor graffiti. (I get it shows she's artistic like Sander, but) I thought that scene would contribute more to the entire storyline rather than just Robbe/Sander (first sighting).

I get the intended Robbe internalized homophobia. I don't hate it; should be interesting what changes it brings in the story. This is a much darker feel than the other evaks where "Isak" is concerned.

-the little things like the music he listens to as he walks up to his friends gives me the perception that he's always performing;

-and how his voice changes from when he's talking with the boys to when he answers a call from his mom

I'm a bit upset we didn't see more Robbe-Yasmina moments (he didn't leave the weed with her in this version, which is fine). [I know they spent some time during summer doing retakes, but I needed to see the friendship development or some bigger moments between them].

A change I like is that the season doesn't start off with "Isak" automatically living with "Eskild" (Milan).

Forgot to say this with the other seasons-this Skam might have the best cinematography and clear direction-but this season it's heightened

Love, love the apartment crew with Milan, Zoe, Senne, and Robbe!

Top tier first meet scene

-also grocery shopping was a nice change (plus music choices are great this version)

This "Isak" has some guilt immediately after during what would be the morning after the pool kiss scene; also it's kind of a change I like due to the obvious direction with the music suddenly coming to a halt as he blocks Sander.

Actually the use of Bowie in scenes is chilling (and RUDE-the Robbe-Noor sex scene); it's a good storytelling choice.

I like the changes, but the pacing and lack of a resolution with talking things out/really addressing things make them generally unimpactful so far [Robbe internalized homophobia (& projected homophobia)]

-I actually feel like Noor could've been used more strategically to display the intensified shutting out of his sexuality had they taken the time to properly flesh them out (it definitely showed), but again the pacing, because in some ways I think they needed deeper scenes to develop them, but I wouldn't want too much time dedicated to them that would ultimately take away from the actual love story of the season.

The reimagined convo with Milan worked, because their relationship is different here and it would've been unrealistic had they copied the og dialogue verbatim; also I'm glad they didn't have a copy and paste of "Isak" talking about how he couldn't be "gay" in the world while offending "Eskild"-the advice was a nice change and good the convo didn't end on a bad note.

-edit: I spoke too soon on the offending part. hurts (every time). [also: Milan's "maybe you should look at yourself" and then the clip ends with Robbe looking in the mirror. ok wtFOCK direction]

Glad Robbe broke up with Noor before things got even more complicated and it was actually a pretty well received exchange [up until her obvious shouting in the club scene] compared to other versions in which she gets immediately angry and the "Isaks" don't really break up with her properly face-to-face.

Again with the lack of resolution-srry, but there was no point to the attack in the street on Robbe & Sander. On one hand, it could be useful to be informative, having a purpose in the plot of the season, but it was barely talked about in the aftermath or hinted at being deeper addressed later. I kind of feel like they are just trying to tackle too much with this and there's just not enough time to really address it in an already storyline heavy season. The only good thing that came from it was how caring the apartment crew showed to be w/Zoe, Senne, & Milan (but that's not a shock).

(Skam season with the most trigger warnings award goes to).

I do think the coming out scene to Jens was cute. Very different version with the best friend having a non-reaction that just makes sense with him

May I shove Robbe's friends (minus Jens) into the pool that Robbe & Sander made out in. (God, they are painful to watch)

I like how Sander's manic episode was filmed. It was very pov heavy from Robbe's perspective with flashes of Sander and I feel like the characteristics were a bit different to what you normally see in tv all the time, even by Skam standards, which I found refreshing.

I really don't get why the change of Sander and his gf only dating 6 months if they were still going to have her overstep and be so controlling. It feels unbelievable that his mom and Robbe's friends (Zoe, Jana..) are so receptive to her knowledge on Sander and his illness. And I hate that they're all being so dramatic about Sander's abilities.

They actually resolved things pretty nicely in the last ep-his friends, Sander, Noor (and the additions with his dad the whole season were really sweet; minor note: his poor dad tho when Robbe suddenly left the restaurant with no explanation).

All in all: this season is great in terms of acting, chemistry, production, and direction. However the writing is pretty awful; aside from the obvious missteps, the season messes up when they make changes and fail to follow through (almost undoing the change in the first place) by rerouting back to the original and doing the same just at a different timestamp (It's frustrating to watch and I do really wish they would just commit to those choices, while handling topics with care; I think I would have a very different opinion on the overall season and how it fares next to other remakes in the long run). I suppose, overall that wtFOCK is fun, even with some wrong choices, though the story suffers with a lack of cohesiveness, development sometimes, or focus on what's important (that sounds like everything that matters, lol, but it was enjoyable).

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Getting To Know Your BL Mutuals

I was tagged by @gunsatthaphan thank you so much! I've never done one of these before, but it seems fun.

So here I go. rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.

What have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year?

1. Between Us - I had to drop UWMA because I couldn't handle how hard Pharm was playing into the Blushing Maiden trope. Boy really just looked like he did not enjoy the physical part of their relationship at all, and it made it uncomfortable to watch. Also the reincarnated soulmate tragic death bit was just not doing it for me. I was afraid Between Us would be more of the same, BUT IT'S NOT! It's actually really good so far and Win and Team have explosive on screen chemistry. I guess all the work Boun and Prem have done together since 2019 has really paid off!

2. Old Fashion Cupcake - Mostly because I'd never heard of it. It just showed up on my Viki recommendations one day and was exactly what I was in the mood for. As always with Japan, the production values are perfect, the cinematography is excellent, and the acting was brilliant. I also loved seeing a romantic lead who was 39. (I'm 46, so it's nice to see representation nearer my age!)

3. My Only 12% - I generally dislike High School BLs because their characters are younger than my sons and it's hard for me to relate unless their acting is surprisingly good. And that's what happened here! SantaEarth knocked it out of the park. I laughed with them, cried with them, oooed and awed with them. They really made me feel it all!

What have been the BLs that you felt a bit a lot disappointed with this year?

1. Check Out - I mean, episode 0 was killer. How did they drop the ball this badly???

2. Coffee Melody - It started out with pretty production values and made me hope everything would be equally as excellent. But it was just so boring.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

Hard call! I think I have to answer this by country because they all approach BL so differently. Also only addressing shows that started airing in 2022, so that automatically removes Bad Buddy and Not Me from the running.

Japan - Old Fashion Cupcake. See above!

South Korea - Semantic Error. I was afraid of the bullying plot, but when I watched it, it just seemed funny. They somehow struck that magic balance of making Jae Young irritating and attractive without being an actual asshole. Plus I loved the excellent production values, tight plotting, hilarious dialog, Yu Na being a hot af bisexual babe, and the excellent kissing game our leads brought to the screen.

Thailand - Kinnporsche the Series. I liked the way they improved so much of the gross from the books so the story made more sense and wasn't as offensive. But I really enjoyed the excellent cinematography, the acting from literally every cast member, and the distinctly Thai humor. It's also obviously very big budget and just LOOKS expensive, you know? Like something I'd see on American or Korean TV. Even the violence looks real, which is something Thailand usually has a very hard time pulling off. Plus the cast is just so pretty. I'm also a huge sucker for darker narratives, so it was refreshing to see one mixed in with so many fun BL tropes. I expected to be massively disappointed by this drama and was pleasantly surprised instead.

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

Actors or characters? I want to answer actors because that's more fun to me.

1. I am forever indebted to MaxTul because I really needed to see their steamy physical chemistry back in 2018. My intro to BL happened when I stumbled upon Advance Bravely on YouTube. It was so much fun to see fanfic tropes between two men! But the ending was wonky AF because of Chinese censorship. So I asked around on Tumblr for more manly men doing fanfic shows, and found out that BL was a whole Thing and the epitome of manliness was in Together with Me. Was the girlfriend plot obnoxious? Yes. Did MaxTul deliver believable chemistry anyway? Yes. If I hadn't seen them, I probably would have given up on BL because the next few I watched didn't do it for me at all (Love Sick, Sotus, Puppy Honey, Kiss Me Again). But because I knew couples like MaxTul were out there acting their hearts out, I made it through my BL dryspell and into 2019 and shows that I actually did love (like Theory of Love and Deep Blue Kiss).

2. Offgun because they clearly enjoy each other's company, they're in it for the long haul, and their fans aren't rabid shippers. Gun's acting was always leagues beyond his co-stars, but Off has completely risen to that challenge and become formidable in his own right. I also adore how Gun has clearly melted Off's heart over the years. Watching his real life evolution from being touch averse to actually initiating physical intimacy with Gun over the years is like watching a slow burn 140k+ word fanfic unfold right in front of me. I think their fans not straying into delusionally obsessed crazies is also a sign that they're good guys managing their coupledom like pros.

3. FirstKhao because they surprised me so much with The Eclipse. I knew they were decent actors on their own, but together they're 🔥🔥🔥. Also I really enjoy their personalities outside of their performances. I am excited they decided to cobrand, and I am hoping to see more stellar acting from them in the future!

What's your non-BL favorite this year?

Oooo. This is hard! Do I answer based on how many times I re-watched a 2022 show, or how high quality I think it was, or how well I rated it?

Sh**ting Stars wins if we're talking about the number of times I re-watched it. It's a no drama romcom from South Korea. A celebrity and his PR manager have been frenemies for a decade then realize they're in love. It's got killer banter and good side characters, is laugh out loud funny, has no annoying tropes, and has 5 side couples (and you will root for all of them).

But based on acting and script and cinematography? My Liberation Notes knocked it out of the park! It's a slice of life South Korean drama. 3 siblings in their 30s feel stuck by life. The youngest decides to liberate herself from disliking everyone by choosing to like a nameless stranger unconditionally. This is the story of the ripple effects from that one decision.

Time to tag people! (not sure if all of these are mutuals but imma tag you either way so deal with it!! 💜)

@stefanyd @rythyme @piningbisexuals @disaster-j @spicyvampire @syrinth @machikeita

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Tagged by @mickgaydolenz (thank youuu) to do a tag game :3 might as well oblige.

Nickname: I guess my online moniker, “Moth”, would count as a nickname. Only in online circles though. Technically my irl name that is used most often is my nickname. I like my full name, but it’s a real mouthful. Recently one of my friends started to call me “Toni” which has also been cool.

Height: 4′11 : /

Last thing I googled: UM I am not going to say specifically because that would be a dox, but to keep it short I was looking up the address to my local CVS lmao

Song stuck in my head: “Jungleland” by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Was listening to it last night : )

Amount of sleep: This is so messed up. I don’t think atm I really have a set amount of sleep. During school I’d say I usually get six hours at most. On weekends and non-work days I have nine hours. Recently though I’ve been sleeping about fifteen hours. I seriously don’t know. I’ve got to figure things out.

Dream job: Oh boy! I don’t know if I have a specific career in mind at the moment, but I know for sure I would like to work somewhere in a film related field. Film director for live-action and animation, screenwriter for live-action and animation, television screenwriter, editor, concept designer, storyboard artist...I’m not quite sure what exactly what I’d want to do, but I garner I still have a lot of time to figure that out. I don’t consider any of these things exclusive either. If I can do them all, I guess that would be a dream job.

Wearing: Pajamas! A Tintin T-shirt I got in Quebec, gray pajama pants, and gray fluffy house socks with a cat deign on the sides :3

Movie/book that summarizes me: Ok so I am going to put down a movie AND a book. For movie it would probably be Blade Runner (1982) by Ridley Scott. While it isn’t the film that initially got me interested in movies (that would have to go to The Great Escape), it is the one that I consider the most absolutely perfect. It’s whole presentation, narrative, themes, cinematography, etc. is just so inspirational to me and kind of my singular goal whenever I want to make something. For a book it would probably be Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. If there is two things about me it is that I love stories that blend fantasy and reality, and I love stories with ambivalent main characters.

Current fav song: Probably “This Year” by The Mountain Goats.

Aesthetic: UMM I don’t know if I strictly subscribe to one lol. Most of the time I just wear a T-shirt and jeans with plaid shirt or various sweaters. To give myself more credit, I have been making efforts to wear things that make me happy or make me feel nice. I guess my visual aesthetic preference is a kind of 60′s - 70′s hippie look. Preference for underground psychedelic and kind of surreal art-nouveau design mixed with some vaporwave, dereality-type visuals from 2013-2014. 

Fav author(s): Off the top of my head: Roald Dahl, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Beatrix Potter, Sarah Vowell, Ken Kesey, Edgar Allen Poe, Jeff Smith...

Random fact: Uuuh...I’ve never been to Disney World??? And I don’t really care to ever go : )

Idk who to tag, so if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged by me : ) happy holidays to everyone who celebrates! 

[galaxythreads]

mm. the camera angles will never leave me alone. It follows his mood perfectly. the stagnant shot of the first three gifs so you focus on Loki's words and then his face, soaking it all in. Loki's letting it sink in to Frigga that he knows and he knows she knows that there is no secret concern waiting to be coaxed out of her. He's goading her. Waiting for it.

More than that, he wants it. He wants her to deny him and say that of course your father and your brother are worried about you, but she doesn't. And the camera remains still.

And Frigga switches the conversation around and pins the blame on Loki here. Loki was trying to express I wish my family wanted to see me and Frigga goes and says, essentially, it is your fault that they don't. Which isn't untrue, but she's not pulling any punches. Loki wants to be accepted in spite of what he did.

Reminds me of this quote from 9-1-1 s4e4:

Love me anyway.

anyways, after that point, the camera moves with Loki's agitation. We have finally found something that struck a nerve, but it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted FRIGGA to be the one prowling around. He throws up his hand in exasperation. This is, I think, a reoccurring conversation between them. Frigga wants him to own up to his mistakes, Loki doesn't think he can - putting aside the Thanos Torture TM for a moment - until she owns up to HERS.

Everyone is at fault and no one is for how Loki ended up the way he did. It's just one big, enormous mess.

And tHEN it follows him with the "lie I'd been fed my entire life", like yes. the lie that followed him his entire life like the FREAKING CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM RIGHT NOW and the symbolism has me clawing at the walls.

And finally, in the last gif, he addresses not Frigga, but the prison. The camera angle shifts up, putting him in a superior position, but what sells this shot beautifully is that it's almost a bitter position because we, the audience, know the truth behind this illusion. He is addressing criminals. He's looking out at what he believes to be "his people" -- the murderers and kidnappers and torturers and he thinks Yeah. That's what I'm king over. those are my people. monsters.

In a deleted scene, he did the same thing with catching mjolnir. Addressing HIS people. I'm giving the people what they want. And now he's looking out at them.

He says he's the king. He knows what he's the king of.

He doesn't say that to Frigga, because he doesn't want to see her face. See her approval or denial of that statement. The camera cuts off her face. We have no idea what she thought in response to him saying that because Loki doesn't either.

Just. Just a beautiful use of the camera to match the character's mood and thoughts. Wonderful execution of actors and cinematography coming together.

Loki laufeyson In Thor: The Dark World (2013)

[thenighthouse]

an exploration of grief in horror movies

movies have always helped me process through feelings i can’t yet name. sometimes it’s easier to see something on screen instead of addressing it myself; sometimes it’s a desperate call to action that feels targeted to only me. how can I be seeing myself on the other side of the screen over and over again, in different settings and different color schemes, over different scores and soundtracks?

i love movies so much.!!!!!!

honorable mention to my all time favorite piece of media, haunting of hill house, which is not a movie. ♡

anyways – something i feel very strongly about is how grief is portrayed amongst the horror genre. my friends will know this is something i talk about often.

i do believe most horror is about grief in one way or another, as do many other horror lovers. grieving loved ones, grieving ourselves, grieving the lives we didn’t get to live. grieving dreams, passions or even grieving what haunts us. grieving the concept of death itself! the direct approach is okay if well done, metaphors are fantastic as well if well done. i love it all.

i will go over my favorite depictions of grief in horror :)

Before I Wake (2016)

mike flanagan is my favorite director and everyone needs to know that. mike flanagan is also so unbelievably good at translating every single one of my emotions and turning them into excruciating metaphors, and I experience his work in different ways every time i rewatch a piece. he’s a master at what he does and he tackles grief and loss in beautiful ways.

No One Will Save You (2023)

is this movie about grief? it is to me! beautiful cinematography, and kaitlyn dever is absolutely fantastic. watched it with my best friend and we thought it would be a silly alien movie, which it can be, but it is also so many other things. i love movies

Smile (2022)

i went into this movie thinking it would be a blockbuster-straight-to-the-point horror movie and ended up hugging my spider-man plushie to my chest while silently crying. i found it harrowing and heartbreaking.

Marrowbone (2017)

i absolutely looooove this kind of movie. i will not spoil it but it really worked for me; i could see myself in jack a lot. not sure what that says about me but oh well!

The Babadook (2014)

no words. truly. this movie is perfect and babadook is my friend

The Night House (2020)

one of my all time favorite movies! it's my url! its approach to grief gut punched me and the way it explores friendship and addiction really pulls everything together. i will probably get around to writing a separate post about this film because it truly is one of a kind. the boat scene makes me weep every time i rewatch.

flowers and rain – i also have serious beef with many portrayals of grief and loss. i will go over two examples.

Wifelike (2022)

"i lost my wife and i need a replacement" meets “woman is not woman, it is robot and servant. oh no, woman is now sentient! woman is strong and remembers things and rebels now! movie woke!". terrible

The Boogeyman (2023)

this one truly pissed me off even though i had zero expectations going into it. the cinematography is GREAT. visually, a gorgeous gorgeous movie. the trope is familiar (read: overused) but it could work. very quickly it becomes apparent that this movie wanted to be Babadook’s younger sister. and then they… burn the monster at the end. my brother in christ, why would you explore the metaphor of grief as the monster hiding in the shadows and… turn it real at the end? that immediately renders the whole movie useless. using such a familiar, baseline horror trope and trying to twist it is confusing – isn’t grief a testament of love at its core? why would we want to kill the monster? what purpose does this serve at the end of a movie? what’s the message? terrible!

is this anything? i love yapping in written form. i love movies!

[archivehotties]

immaculate - 3.5/5

i decided i'm gonna do more in depth movie reviews here (let's see how long that lasts LMAO), i used to do longer reviews on my letterboxd but idk doesn't seem as fitting? i can insert other photo stuff here so i'd rather here then. also spoilers ahead fucking duh

i watched immaculate tonight! my thoughts before this movie were 1, i love sydney sweeney but for a hot minute right now i felt like she wasn't being taken seriously. euphoria was one of my favorite shows and i loved her in the first season, but since then it felt like people were overly sexualizing her and not taking her seriously as an actor which blows bc she's honestly talented! and can show real emotional depth!!! so i really wanted her to hone that into a full blown artsy kind of horror movie because, as i saw in the movie, she's very scream-queen worthy.

i will admit i am very biased to religious horror. is it because i was raised catholic Yes. is it because i like looking at the pretty gold colors because catholicism is really good at making things look badass Yes as well. have i rewatched wendigoon's long video explanation of dante's inferno over and over Yes absolutely. Regardless!!!! this is just a bias i need to address to the readers beforehand before any of u fucking yank my chain

i did not expect to be as into this movie as i thought i was gonna be, honest to god i went in thinking this was probably gonna be disappointing and sydney probably didn't get a good enough writer and it was gonna be as boring as idk the nun movie in the conjuring franchise. just jumpscares. the writing was honestly not that bad though, though i will say that sydney kind of fell off her mark sometimes. especially at the start it kind of didn't feel as authentic as i wanted, but maybe that's because it felt weird to hear her euphoria high american accent while she was surrounded by italian nuns and priests. some of the creepy elements felt kinda cheesy like oh wow the creepy patient says she can never leave womp womp. like find something more interesting to say.

cinematography soooo good. really liked it, also i am again biased to italy because i love italy and it's my dream vacation place. there were some shots that were framed sooo good like when she goes to confession, the ending scene in particular was really good. i really like the choice of it not being filmed from the usual third person pov and it being from the baby's (?) or just it being right below sydney and she is just yelling her fucking heart out with blood all over her face. so good. i was smiling and clapping good for u girl!!!!!!!!!!

i also liked that it was done in chapters so they went like per trimester of the baby, it was really fun to see in that way. i liked the themes, it didn't feel like a Fake church u know? again i compare it to the nun movie from the conjuring series where it's like ... it doesn't feel like they got dressed up in nun outfits. they're just ... nuns. doesn't feel like a set, which is good.

a concern again i had for this movie was that it was gonna be too jumpscare-y-- at some times it was, but honestly that's too be expected. i really liked the idea of her having to escape from the convent over and over again and just how creepy the other people in the church were, though i will admit the "we tried to make the next savior and i'm a mad scientist" bit was a little ... meh. i'd prefer if they leaned into that whole secret cult thing they had going on. or if it was a carrie/rosemary's baby moment where she was carrying the devil's baby.

another concern i had was, looping back to what i said about sydney, i had watched the trailer beforehand and i was scared it was gonna oversexualize her because soo many of the shots they chose were like centered around her body? which i mean makes sense now that i know the plot, but it didn't feel sexualized at all, which makes me happy :) sydney has lots of potential !

thematically and in cinematography sense, it reminded me a lot of the vvitch. just like eerie and creepy and dark. and the endings too were shot in similar ways. additionally i also like that she killed every one of the major leaders in the end, that was fun.

overall was it the best horror movie i've ever seen? no. definitely not. was it a fun watch yes! would i watch it again, sure. though i do look away when the gory bits happen, but that's normal with horror. i hope sydney sweeney does more horror, and i mean like a24 style. i'd love for her to be in a movie with mia goth or anya taylor joy or something.

[ode-to-my-valentine]

Film Review

The conventions of a film review include a title and brief summary of the film so that readers understand which film is being addressed and have a somewhat of an understanding as to what the film is about. The second convention is an analysis into character, writing, dialogue, plot, direction, cinematography, soundtrack and editing, because those are all key features that can elevate a film or drag it through the dirt. A film review must cover every aspect of the film. The next convection is the critic and overview where the reviewer must express their opinions on the film overall and voice any and all critics they have, it also can act as a summary of whether they thought this movie was good. The last critic is the rating, a film review must provide a rating to the audience to know what the overall consensus in terms of the film’s quality was.

Something Borrowed (2011)

Director: Luke Greenfield Writers: Jennie Snyder Urman and Emily Giffin

Something Borrowed is a run of the mill early 2010s movie that encourages its viewer to live life to the fullest, and teaches them that cheating on your fiancée with her best friend is okay, as long as your fiancée is as bad a person as you are. The movie is about a lawyer in New York named Rachel who is a pushover and a perpetual victim to her attention-seeking best friend Darcy. Darcy is engaged to Dex (with Rachel as the maid of honor, naturally) but after Darcy gets drunk at Rachel’s birthday and has to leave, both Dex and Rachel stay behind to look for Darcy's lost Chanel bag. The two of them get drunk and end up sleeping together. The rest of the movie is spent trying to justify their cheating despite the fact that Rachel is Darcy's "bestfriend" and Dex is her fiance. There is a character in the movie who act as a voice of reason, Ethan, who points out that if Dex really did love Rachel then he would break off the engagement to be with her.

The main characters are hard to root for in the beginning because all of them suck for their own reasons, but this is later redeemed through showing the complexity of the characters and ends up making them feel more like real people who can make mistakes rather than characters in a corny romcom. Even the “antagonist” of the movie, Darcy, is shown to be more than simply a self-absorbed individual. There are points where we understand why Darcy and Rachel are friends despite how different they are and how toxic their relationship can seem at times. The script managed to make me want a happy ending for all of the characters even though I thought that they were all bad people making dumb decisions. The ending did all the character’s justice because they all got what they truly wanted, which rang true to the theme of doing what you want and not just what is expected of you.

The cinematography and acting aren’t anything to write home about, it’s what one would expect from an early 2010s romcom. Though there was one moment that stuck with me because of how genuine it felt; in the midst of the drama, Darcy and Rachel have a sleepover and duet a dance which they choreographed when they were kids, and still execute seamlessly as adults. We, the audience, feel the strength of their relationship. This adds stakes because if Darcy were to find out about the affair, then that relationship would be in jeopardy. 

Overall I would watch the movie again. It's no cinematic masterpiece and I still think that it’s attempt to make cheating redeemable as long as you “truly love each other” is questionable but as a late-night low-effort watch this movie would be a solid 7/10.

[mybabybright]

Hello. Can I ask 13, 6 and 12?

Happy holidays!

@ellsieee so um I found this in my drafts, and I’m so sorry 🙈 Better late than never…? Maybe some people new to the fandom this year will find this list interesting.

<b>#13 - bl that is underrated</b>

Here are some hidden gems that never got the attention they deserved or got forgotten way too quickly

❤️ Eternal Yesterday (Japan)

Maybe because it aired so fast? Honestly I almost missed this one, but I am so glad I watched it. It’s a little over-the-top (and I wouldn’t want anything less from a Japanese bl), and the premise sounds silly (zombie), but it’s also profound and heartbreaking.

🧡 He, She, It (Thailand)

The original JeffGameplay. This one totally blindsided me, and I still think about. Certainly not for all audiences, but new fans of Jeff should check it out.

💛 Innocent (Taiwan)

This one had so much buzz to start, but it took so long to come out that I think people kind of forgot about it. It has such a unique plot and beautiful cinematography and music.

💚 Love From Outta Space (Thailand)

A beautifully aesthetic short film that addresses hetero norms and gender conventions through an OffGun paranormal romance. Not one to miss.

💙 On Cloud Nine (Thailand)

This show is not a simple watch, which I think put a lot of people off. But to me, the non-linear storytelling is so unique and what makes this show fascinating.

💜 The Boy Foretold by the Stars (Philippines)

This one just hit differently than a lot of the other content out there. It well captures the enormity of first loves without being cringey. Also not a lot of BLs tackle the religious impacts on identity and coming out, so that added an interesting additional layer to the story. I preferred the original movie over the subsequent series.