#that’s about the ways everything touch- how everything connects and relates to everything else

[professorlegaspi]

Red in the Demesne seems to be attached to touch gifts (Red sparks for conveyance, flash of red when touching Celia, etc). AND Red in the Demesne seems to be attached to the position of Princep (red ram symbol on her credit card and ceremonial goblet, etc). The implication must then be that the position of leadership is fundamentally about touch which… I’ll be chewing on that one for a while

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Lawyer Husband x GN Spouse Reader HCs

CW: mafia related stuffs

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕

Yan! Husband is a gentle soul to you, he can't and will never lay a finger with the meaning to hurt you! He just doesn't have the strength to do so, almost as though he was set to be so. It's another whole story when it comes to the others though, can you guess how many times he has pulled the trigger of a gun?

Yan! Husband who spoils you rotten with everything you could ever think of. Luxuries, reputations but never the forbodden knowledge he has tried so hard to keep away from you. No, he won't clip your wings. You are his songbird who gets to only fly inside the gilded cage but never in the outside world. He will create a stage of the outside world for you, but never the real deal.

Yan! Husband who paints a portrait of you whenever he's stressed over the cases he has to handle. To move the brush without any problem as your form starts to appear on the blank canvas, he has no trouble remembering you. Sculpting is no problem for him as well. He has spent all his lives honing his artistic skill just to eternalize you as pieces of art.

Yan! Husband loves you so much that he deems children as a burden and bothersome (adoptive too). He only needs you to build a family, he had no need for children to continue this lineage. His whole life revolves around you. If you pass away, he too, will pass away shortly after. That's how much he loves you to the point that death cannot separate you two.

Yan! Husband who might not look like he's able to do it but he is actually an S-rank gaslighter. He will trick you into believing that what he is suggesting is only to keep you safe! He doesn't really enjoy taking your autonomy directly unless it's needed (of course, in a way where you will not confront him about it).

Yan! Husband who will cover and remove all your bad track records (if you have any). He has the power and connection to erase any kind of dirt that is on you, you are his pristine pure lily-of-the-valley and you should not be defiled with those records. Live without any worry clouded in your mind dear, the laws will never tarnish your reputation when you have this lawyer backing you ^^

Yan! Husband who adores any sort of physical touch when it comes to you, yes, anything. Even if you hit him silly, he'd still love every moment your skin feels his. He loves hugging you the most, his face buried into the crook of your neck while taking a scent of you.

Yan! Husband who enjoys humming lullaby of yours to the point everyone's ears around him is bleeding from the repeating lullaby. Can this guy please hum something else for once?

Yan! Husband who will read for you whenever he has the time to sleep with you. He doesn't know what to say to you as his work is either foreign to your brain or a tad too shady. Childhood memories are not great too as he has long forgotten about everything the moment he pledges eternal vow to love you. He abandoned everything and lives only for you.

Yan! Husband who prioritizes you as his number one, even above his own well-being and career. He can still live even if he falls ill, his career would never fall out of track as he has the mafia under his grasp, but you can slip out of his grasp. And he doesn't want that to happen again.

Yan! Husband is without a doubt an infamous lawyer. Especially with how many times he has let the ringleader of that renowned mafia group slip out from the prosecutor and judge's grip? If you seriously think you'll be pronounced guilty of that murder, you better throw that thought out just like how he throws all the scapegoats and falsified evidence into the court. (Should I write a fic for this?)

Yan! Husband who will always make time for the two of you. While vacations are not as often as he wishes he could have, cuddles and tea parties sound nice enough for him to kill time with you.

Yan! Husband who has this cute journal that's filled with what you have been doing every day instead of his own daily stuff. Oh, your diary is almost his if you know how he reads it daily like a refreshment.

Yan! Husband who as much as he hates having to show you to the people at the official parties and events he has to attend, he just can't shake away the butterflies in his stomach as well! You are not just some trophy spouse, you are his beloved! A hand on your waist and a face that is seen whispering sweet nothings into your ear with a glass in his other hand. Oh, he looks so o-godly-handsome like a man who comes out from a romance novel!

Yan! Husband who is a man of greed, the embodiment of Mammon. Wealth is not something that he has never not possessed. So whatever the fuck you do, gambling or blowing it off somewhere in a dumb investment or stock, he won't make a fuss out of it. Instead, he'll teach you more about money management instead :/

"Do you want to learn how to invest? I know a way or two from my predecessor."

He will let you play all the money game you want and gives you the illusion of success despite all the trials and errors you made (he's the one who clean up all the mess lol)

I know that this is AFAB! oriented BUT Yan! Husband never wishes to impregnate you even once. No, he doesn't like the idea of you being in pain over a damn baby(ies) that could just take your life as well. He does enjoy fucking you without any protection on but that is after he tracks your safe day (man is literally fighting the fate of having you pregnant). He prefers you to not consume any birth control for just in case it causes harm rather than good to you. (Shots are a pass if you are scared of syringes)

He is A-OK with adopting if you are persistent enough about this matter and is B-OK if you want to get pregnant (AFAB). He just can't refuse and upset you...

So please don't imagine what would happen if darling dies during delivery :)

Yan! Husband who will always open his pocketwatch and kiss the picture of you in his pocket watch. How many times and lives had passed just for him to enjoy the solace of being your husband?

𝐀 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫.

Yulian de Alpheus is a man of ambition. While he does share the same look as his 'father', the ambition he has is the complete opposite of Castiel. Castiel created him to seek the truth of life, Adam existed to be the Genesis of Life, Alan existed to be someone he didn't recognize and Yulian existed to live beneath the shadow of his spouse.

𝐘𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Taglist: @vinivave @destructa1 @szde8-blog @luminous011 @ush0 @annbourbon @randomnl @cassanderasblog @maam-appreciator @lem-hhn @fanatic-fan @flesh-eating-ladybug

(send ask/message to be removed from taglist)

[atzual]

what your ateez bias says about you

if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.

tw: heavy topics, language, roasting

*****

hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)

seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)

yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)

yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)

san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)

mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)

wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)

jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)

[clxrk-kent]

clark kent (tom welling) x reader

The city was bustling outside the window, its lights flickering like a million tiny stars against the night sky. Inside, it was quiet, save for the sound of a clock ticking in the corner and the soft hum of the refrigerator. You sat on the couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket, your thoughts swirling as you replayed the evening.

It had been an exhausting day. You'd caught up with old friends, attended a meeting, and had a thousand thoughts to process, but the one that lingered most was the moment you and Clark Kent had shared earlier that day. You’d always felt a connection with him, a chemistry that neither of you had ever quite acknowledged—until today.

He had stopped by your apartment under the pretext of “checking in,” but you both knew it was more than that. It had been one of those rare moments when Clark allowed himself to relax, to let his guard down. You’d seen him laugh more freely than usual, heard him speak about things that weren’t related to his superhero persona, his journalistic work, or the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He was human with you.

And you could feel it—the pull between you both. It was magnetic, a quiet tension that simmered beneath the surface, unspoken but undeniable.

When the door creaked open, your heart skipped. You hadn’t expected him to come back, but there he was, looking as handsome and disarming as ever. Clark’s broad shoulders filled the doorway, his eyes softer than you remembered. He was dressed casually in a plain t-shirt and jeans, his hair tousled as if he'd just returned from a run.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” he said, his voice low, like it always was when he was uncertain. But the way he said it, his eyes never leaving yours, told you it was anything but a casual visit.

"Not at all," you replied, your pulse quickening, betraying the calm facade you tried to maintain. "Come on in."

He stepped into the apartment, and you noticed how he seemed to exhale the weight of the world as soon as he crossed the threshold. He was always in control, always the perfect reporter, the fearless hero, but here, with you, he didn’t have to be. He could let the world spin without him for a moment.

Clark walked over to the couch and sat beside you, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him. You could smell the faint hint of fresh air, like he’d just flown in from somewhere. His presence was always comforting, but tonight, there was something more. His fingers brushed yours as he leaned back, the brief contact sending a shockwave through your body.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The room was quiet except for the steady rhythm of your breathing, a shared, unspoken awareness hanging in the air between you.

Finally, Clark turned to you, his eyes dark and intense. “I didn’t expect this… you know, being here with you like this.”

His words were soft, almost unsure, and it struck you that despite everything he had faced, Clark Kent was just as vulnerable as anyone else. He wasn’t always the confident, invulnerable hero the world saw. With you, he was just Clark. The man you had grown to care for in ways that neither of you had openly discussed.

You met his gaze and smiled, your voice low and steady, “I didn’t expect it either.”

His lips quirked into a half-smile, but the expression quickly deepened as his eyes flickered to your lips. The world seemed to stop for a moment, the hum of the city outside the only sound, a distant reminder of everything you’d left behind to focus on the moment you were sharing now.

Slowly, as if testing the water, Clark leaned in. His breath was warm against your face, and before you could even fully process the shift, his lips were on yours—gentle at first, tentative, as if asking for permission. Your heart thudded in your chest as you kissed him back, the touch of his lips sending a rush of warmth through your veins.

He deepened the kiss, his hands finding your waist, pulling you closer as he gently guided you onto his lap. The world outside seemed to fade as your body responded to his, drawn to him in a way you couldn’t control.

His hands were strong, yet careful, as if he were afraid to break something. His lips moved against yours, his kisses becoming more urgent, more passionate, as if he were trying to convey everything he had kept hidden in the depths of his heart.

You broke the kiss, breathless, your forehead resting against his. “Clark…” you whispered, your voice shaky from the intensity of the moment.

His eyes met yours, dark with desire, but also something softer—something more vulnerable. “I don’t want to pretend anymore,” he confessed in a low voice. “Not with you.”

And before you could respond, Clark pulled you back into another kiss, this time more desperate, more consuming. The world outside didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except this moment, this connection. He was no longer Superman, and you were no longer just a friend—this was something else entirely. Something raw, something real.

[witch-of-snow-and-stars]

How to Make a Charm Necklace Magic-Style

✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩‧���⋆⁺‧₊☽✧☾₊‧⁺⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

So in a recent post I talked about having a set of charms that I wear whenever I leave the house. I thought it might be a fun tutorial to detail how someone could make a similar thing for themselves! The post is a long one, so the rest of the guide is under the cut!

Step 1: Lay out all of your perspective charms and see what speaks to you and what you might want to put together. When you're choosing pieces, try to think of your goal and intent while you're putting your charms together (i.e. mine is for general day-to-day so I mostly focus the charms around safety, ease of way, and good fortune. Tailor yours to what you need). You don't have to make a necklace, just make sure that whatever you're attaching your charms to and the jump ring(s) connecting everything are sturdy enough to hold the charms' weight.

I have a 'main' components and 'auxiliary' components with the main components being the anchor points and foundation of what I'm working towards (i.e. I have my locket with sigils and my key charms as main components and I'll switch out the other parts as desired). Listed below are some ideas for options that you can combine, but use whatever feels best to you:

Lockets- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that a locket is part of your configuration. You can fit a slip of paper with spells/sigils written on it AND if it's a scent locket you can add a bit of fabric with a perfume oil or a spell oil that would be safe to wear (check the spell oil ingredients if you're going to use a spell oil).

Bottle/Vial Charm Pendants- these are really good for wearable spell jars (you'd just have to careful about breaking them). You can buy pre-made bottle spell charms (there are a lot of options available) OR you can buy a vial pendant and do a working of your own choosing depending on your preferences/needs (there are also many options for empty vial charms you can buy). You could also keep spell powders/dusts in a vial charm (also usable for on-the-go workings).

Crystal Pendants- If you are someone who utilizes crystals in your practice, having some complementary crystals or crystals that you tend to favor can really add a kick.

Religious pendants/charms- Pentacles/crosses/saint pendants/deity pendants/etc. are all good options for this sort of configuration if they're something that features in your practice or you have a specific figure you want to invoke.

Symbol/Icon charms- similarly to the option above, charms that have animals/flowers/symbols/ whatever else you may want to invoke the properties/help of can be a good addition as well

Bells- bells have traditionally been used in different cultures for sound cleansing and to ward off negative spirits/entities. If that's something you might want (and are ok with making some noise) adding a bell might be a nice touch.

Keys- keys are useful magically for unblocking roads, gaining access, and invoking magic/energy relating to crossroads. Keys/key charms can be pretty easy to get too, so it might be worth trying to have one in your configuration.

Other meaningful charms: as it says on the tin, if it's important to you or you want to keep it on you, try it out in your configuration see if it will work well with it. In the picture above of my own pendant collection alongside more standard pieces there's an antique pen knife that can be worn as a pendant. Put whatever you want on these configurations is my point.

Tip! Some pendants like the pendant on the right have a paste/textured back that you can write on. If that's something you'd want to do, aim for something that looks like the pendant on the right. It's a solid way to hide sigil magic in your jewelry.

Step 2: Prepare the individual charms that you're going to be putting together. Clean/cleanse* everything appropriately (use mundane and magical methods), get sigils written out, anoint anything that you want to anoint, charge/enchant anything that needs it- whatever workings you need to do to the individual components of your charm necklace, do them now.

*If you're using metal pieces (especially if they're old/antique) there's a decent chance you may need to clean those pieces periodically with a metal cleaner/polish. When you clean the metal, do maintenance work for the rest of the configuration by charging/re-enchanting the other charms.

Step 3: Put your charms together and test out your configuration. Sometimes things won't work together as well together or a different component will work better in your configuration.

Ending Notes & Tips

If you put something like this on an object, make sure you focus on how you need/want to effect the object. Like, I have another variation of this on a chain on my bag, and that working is more focused on security and being unobtrusive more than anything else.

Generally I would consider how fragile your individual charms/items are and how likely breakages are to occur. You don't want to be scattering any broken glass/sharp bits and you definitely don't want to cut yourself on anything in the event of any broken charms.

Other considerations should be if individual parts are safe to wear. As previously mentioned, select for spell oils that are safe to wear and for crystal pendants that won't interact with water/skin oils/body products (i.e. selenite melts in water and pyrite will create sulfuric acid when exposed to water). Basically make sure that having this on your skin isn't going to cause any problems for you.

It can be a a good idea to change up individual charms in your configuration to tweak things to your daily needs. Using my usual configuration as an example, I'll switch out my crystal pendants or other charms if I have specific needs/events for a day (like maybe if I'm traveling I'd add more protection/safe travel oriented charms or if I had a date on I'd choose one of my love/attraction charms).

I hope this gave you some ideas for your own practice, thanks for reading💜

✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩‧⁺⋆⁺‧₊☽✧☾₊‧⁺⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊°.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[kingconia]

ROOK, JADE, LEONA AND MALLEUS WITH S/O, WHO IS LIKE NEUVILLETTE FROM GENSHIN IMPACT

(AKA. IT RAINS, WHEN THEY WANT TO CRY)

Malleus Draconia. 💚

— Everyone seemed more or less intimidated by you and your appearance, but Malleus thought that both of you were a lot of alike actually! You acted similarly, and even Lilia joked you being soulmates;

— Your personality and origins were a big mystery for others, and the only person you spoke about it was the headmaster himself. Only after that he decided that it was logical for you to become the housewarden of the Ramshackle, a new opened house just for you;

— Hiding your true identity and being away from your homeland and the same time was hard. Missing something was a challenge already, but not being able to speak with others about that made it even worse. And since you couldn't cry like other humans... The rain started;

— Malleus didn't connect dots instantly, rain wasn't necessarily a rare occasion in their world after all. But, well, it was strange how more often and often it rained now. And, somehow, the weather always matched your mood. So, he decided to investigate himself. By threatening headmaster. Of course, it worked.

•

”I guess, we are more similar than I originally thought,” Malleus offered you a short smile, sitting down on your right side, shoulders pressing together.

”Lizard and dragon, what a wonderful match,” you muttered, but your voice seemed weak. ”I lived a thousands of years, Malleus. I know what grief means. Yet, grieving dead people is one thing, but the lost world of yours is... Another. That is not something I know how to deal with, for now.”

He couldn't relate, but he found it strangely comforting how similar both of you were. The way you were created, the way you thought.

So, squeezing your hand, he said quietly:

”Then, cry, my little dragon. Cry, while it hurts.”

And the rain continued.

But this time it felt lighter. And so did you.

Jade Leech. 🩵

— He found it intriguing how easy you felt under the water, how much you knew about his world, and how quite comfortable you felt, when he was in his true form;

— Though, he might or might not, missed out a lot of strange quirks of yours—for example, staying under water for hours, without needing to breath—due to his poor understanding of humans;

— But as soon as he realised it, he started watching you more closely. That was when he decided to pay attention to frequent rains and storms, too. How strange... He even went that low to provoke you in a fight, to see if it rains now, when you are sad;

— It did. Jade completely ensured himself that whoever you were, you weren't human.

•

”A water dragon?” He looked at you curiously. ”And not a mere one, but the original one?”

As you nodded, Jade felt the corners of his lips curling in a small smile. Somehow, he was more proud of you than he felt anything else. To think, that you practically seemed to be the Underwater Ruler in your world!

”It must be tough,” he commented, stroking your cheek gently. ”To become nothing in our world, when you were everything in yours.”

You shrugged, leaning in his touch eagerly.

”When you live thousands years, statutes stop bothering you, Jade. But I do miss times, when I were allowed to be in my dragon form freely. I miss the ocean.”

”That is why it rains so much recently, love?”

You nodded, and Jade made sure to kiss both of your cheeks gently, before giving a promise:

”I know, it is not replaceable, dear. But I will take you to our ocean. And then, you will be free for a while again. Will that make that?”

And when it started raining again, right after these words, gentle drops changing with more intense ones, Jade knew: this time, it was the tears of happiness.

Leona Kingscholar. 💛

— He felt that something was wrong with you from the first seconds, because the smell was off. It was reminding him of Malleus, but not really? Slightly like Azul's, too, but once again, not too much alike;

— Anyway, Leona had his own suspicions, but he ignored it, because at first you really wasn't that close. For him, you were another minion, and when he realised that you are powerful enough to beat him, he was too mad to care;

— Then, both of you became close, and only then Leona started examining you more closely with each day. He did a lot of researches about sea creatures, trying to understand what he missed out, but couldn't find anything in particular in their world to fit you;

— Much like Malleus, annoyed the headmaster for an additional information, but wouldn't use in against you directly...

•

”This rain is annoying,” Leona hissed, eying you with a poorly hidden expectance. ”I can't nap in the most of the places, because the grass is wet, now.”

You didn't even bat an eye.

”You can always find peace in my arms,” you said in your usual calm tone, not really catching his hint. ”No need to sleep on the ground, Leona.”

”Isn't that strange, though?” He tried again, trying to look as careless as possible. ”You know, in the Afterglow Savanaclaw we have this old saying...”

You raised your brows in a silent question.

”They say, if it rains, then it is the water dragon who cries.”

It was a lie. There was no such saying not in the Savanaclaw, not anywhere else, because his world was lacking a water dragon at all. You knew that, of course. You already sought for finding your own kind here, but failed miserably.

So, your eyes widened in the shock as you stared down at him, gloved hands gripping your cane tightly.

”Well,” Leona looked away awkwardly. ”The water dragon can find their comfort in the lap of the lion, by the way.”

Your breath hitched, when you realised what had he meant.

Leona didn't ask you to start spitting all confessions aloud. He didn't want you to tell stories about your past, unless you wanted to do it yourself. He just offered his company.

”Is that an old saying too?” You asked, trying your best to smile.

”...Yeah. I think so, anyway.”

As you slowly fell on his lap, a forehead pressed to his shoulder, Leona felt first drops of the rain falling on the top of his head again.

Helplessly, he hugged you tighter.

At least, you weren't alone anymore.

Rook Hunt. 💜

— Rook understood that you are an animal from the beginning, he just couldn't understand which one. And that was intriguing;

— It was clear for him that you owned some habits that was animalistic. But whose it was, that he couldn't tell! He only realised that you had a long tongue—sometimes, you darted it out—and missed your, presumably, long tail. You were a water creature in his eyes, too. That's for sure. Rook even started to wonder if you were an alligator...

— As a good hunter, he keeps track of the weather as well, noticing everything. So, yes, another strange thing was the fact that with your arriving it started to rain madly;

— In the end, Rook came to conclusion that whatever you were, your kind didn't exist here. So, he decided to confront you directly. When he realised that you were a special one even in your home... Oh, Rook was so excited.

•

”The most special ones are the most lonely ones, mon doux miracle,” Rook muttered in the crown of your hair, kissing it gently, almost in the motherly way. ”But, oh, don't you worry, mon amour éternel, I would be by your side.”

Both of you soaked in the water completely as it rained terribly. Rook didn't mind. Instead, he dragged both of you in middle of the forest, under the gloomy sky, allowing you to feel every single of your emotions fully, without hiding it.

”Do you hear me?”

”I do.”

You hugged him tightly, and he couldn't help but sigh in the strangest awe, when he realised how much power was hidden inside you all the time. How you restrained yourself all these months.

His dragon. His little, perfect dragon.

”Thank you, Rook.”

”You are welcome, ma belle catastrophe.”

And then, the rain stopped suddenly. Instead, the sun came out, kissing Rook's cheeks lazily as if rewarding him for being able to tame such a terrible thing as you.

He smiled, hiding himself from the sun's rays.

He didn't really need them, when he had his midnight rain already.

[mrsjellymunson]

The Biology Tutor

Independent Study 02: Creative Writing

Series masterlist

Prev parts: Lesson 1: Female anatomy Lesson 2: Male anatomy Extra Credits 01: Communication skills Extra Credits 02: French Independent Study 01: Art

Pairing: virgin!Eddie Munson x fem!tutor!reader

Series summary: Eddie’s failing Biology class, so you decide to offer two different styles of tuition, textbook-based and *ahem* practical.

Chapter summary: You reflect on your unexpected lunchtime study session.

WC: ~2.2k

C/W: 18+, SMUT, MDNI!! Lots of fantasies and intimate musings… Gracious and copious thanks to @the-unforgivenn for numerous rereads and talking me off the word soup precipice 😉

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Thoughts of Eddie have been plaguing you all afternoon. You might as well have skipped classes for all the good your attendance did. You could barely concentrate on what any of your teachers were droning on about, your mind much preferring to conjure all kinds of salacious Eddie-related images.

Once at home you grab yourself a drink, throw your backpack down onto your bed and kick off your shoes, trying to figure out quite how to get that boy out of your head. Might journaling help?

Retrieving your notebook from your nightstand and your favourite pink pen, you flop down onto your front and begin to write.

Initially, you just want to reflect on your day and your unexpected ‘private time’ with Eddie. So you start to make some notes about how well the tutoring part went, how well he did, and yeah, okay, how goddamn cute he looked whenever he got a question right. You ponder why that felt so rewarding. Do you simply like helping people learn? Or is it more because you like being the reason that Eddie smiles?

You write a little about how sweet he was, and his obvious nerves when you first suggested you might kiss. How chaste, almost wholesome, it all started out. 

You add more detail, like how his lips felt as they connected with yours, and how it surprised you in the best possible way when he started to kiss you back. You remember how wet and messy everything was. How fucking hot. You scribble honestly about how much you enjoyed kissing him, how much you think he enjoyed kissing you, and how much you want to do it again. And you acknowledge that although it seems peculiar after everything you’ve already done, somehow, what you did today felt so much more… intimate.

You write almost an entire page about how strong but gentle his tongue was, how it felt as it slid into your mouth and around your own. How he started off slow, tentative, but then gained confidence. How, without being instructed, he started turning his head and moving his tongue experimentally, licking and sucking. And, to your delight, how he was getting it right so goddamn much of the time.

You add a little about what else you’d fantasised about Eddie doing with that tongue, but stop yourself before you go too far.

Okay, maybe just another couple of lines…

You write about how he surprised you when one one of his hands gripped the back of your neck and his other had pulled you closer. How that made you appreciate what latent strength might be stored in those wiry muscles. And how you’d wondered about whether it would feel warm if it cupped your face, and how you know the answer now. When he’d gently held the back of your head he was definitely warm, hot even, the heat of him searing into your memories and onto the page. Now, in your notebook, you muse what it would be like for him to touch you like that again, to cup your cheeks, look deep into your eyes. Would you want that? The frenzy with which you're writing suggests that yes, you might.

You mull over what else you’d thought about, like what it would be like to hold his hand. You ponder whether your palms would fit together nicely, and whether you’d be well matched, size-wise. Or would his be larger, swamping you, encompassing you. You think about his hot palm and thick fingers enveloping yours, your sensitive skin so very close. What would it be like to go out in public like this, watching everyone stare as they put the pieces together? Surprisingly, the thought doesn’t freak you out as much as it previously might have.

You note down how he’d whimpered and moaned, and how that made you think about all the ways you want to try to draw more of those beautiful sounds out of him. 

You describe how strong and defined the muscles of his back felt. And the size of the bulge in his pants that he was sporting when you pulled away. And add exactly how that made you feel, just to, you know, get it out of your head…

As you spill your innermost thoughts onto the page, you recall how you’d considered the texture of his calloused skin. But this time you allow your imagination free reign as you conjure Eddie’s strong, large hands and the rough feeling of his fingers as he runs them over your thighs, your back, your throat. You write about how much you want to feel them on your breasts, over your ass, in your cunt. How you want him to explore every inch of you, with both your guidance and his experimentation. You want to continue to teach him, of course, but you also want both of you to discover things together. 

Then, you write down that question he asked:

“So, uh, where do you want me?”

You describe the heat you’d felt, what it made you want to do, and how you’d vividly imagined taking Eddie in the study room. How much you’d wanted to perch him against the study room table and climb on top of him.

You describe how you’d pictured him, braced against the edge of the table. Shirt off, no pants, boxers discarded somewhere across the room. You wonder how he might look. Would his abs be tensed? Would his hip lines be prominent? How much detail of his tattoos would you be able to make out? 

Would he be instantly hard? Or would you be treated to the sight of his cock engorging as you watched, rising to full attention simply from your presence and the heat of your gaze? You imagine observing his pink head filling and swelling, maybe even leaking a little precum that would glisten under the fluorescent lights.

How would he look at you with those deep chocolate eyes? Would he be unsure, timid, nervous? Or would there be a hot hunger behind them, a primal lust that he wants only you to satisfy?

You’d be naked, but would you feel nervous and fold at his gaze, covering yourself and uncomfortable under his scrutiny? Or would you saunter towards him confidently, maybe with a finger at your lips, swaying your hips? Forcing him to wait as your body drifts agonisingly slowly closer and closer.

He might stutter over his words as you moved, babbling nonsense, filled with that delicious combination of fear and want that you find so alluring. Or he could be confident, beckoning you to him, spilling praises and pet names and whispers of adoration.

Would he be too scared to touch you, unsure and not knowing what to do with his hands? Or would he reach out for you and grab at your arm, your hip, your waist, any part of you he could reach, pulling you to him?

How would he smell after a day of physical activity, or even post PT? The aroma of weed, his cologne, that vanilla chapstick that you’re sure he must’ve stolen from someone? Musky, sweaty, masculine? You imagine what it would be like to lick the salt from the sensitive skin of his collarbones and neck, and humming as his heady male taste floods your senses. Would he whimper softly at this, or groan with satisfaction?

You’d definitely kiss him, feeling those soft, plump lips against yours all over again, and slide your tongue into his mouth and sigh as you feel his start to move against yours. Would his confidence soar as you make those pretty noises again, encouraging him to explore further, deeper, harder?

Would you take the lead and lay him down onto the cool tabletop, and spill soothing words as you clamber up over him, gliding your soaking folds over him, drenching him with your abundant arousal? Or would he lie back, pulling you down with him, pressing your chest to his and letting you know just how hard he’s going to fuck you?

You might grasp his thick length, make him whine as you angle his cock at your hole and sink slowly down the length of him, his hands scrabbling to find purchase on the table, whimpering as you take him fully inside you. Or he could hum with approval, telling you how good you are for him, calling you his Princess, gripping your hips with his big hands as he manoeuvres you over his swollen cock, sliding into you from beneath.

You could take it slow and steady, noticing every pull and drag of his impressive member, allowing him to feel every part of your wet heat as you move atop him. Or you could use him, quickly bouncing, his ample girth stretching you as you pivot your hips for your own pleasure, slamming his tip exactly where you need it.

His hands might be soft and loving, gently touching your face and reverently running over your hair as he mumbles sweet things about how beautiful you are, how fucking lucky he is to have you like this. Or he might grip the back of your neck, tangle his fist into your hair, perhaps even hold one thick thumb across your throat, and gruffly huff hot breaths full of obscenities into your ear as he pumps himself in and out of you.

Would he let you take what you want, be your pliant and willing fucktoy? Or would he plant his feet on the table and thrust himself up into you, chasing for your release as much as his own?

Would you angle yourself against his pelvis, feeling the friction of his glossy thatch of dark hair against your clit as you roll and circle? Or might you suck your fingers and move them between you, maybe even push them into his mouth first, before you slide them down, down, between your heaving bodies to your most sensitive bud, drawing circles and lines, your head dropping back as Eddie watches, aghast, feeling you clench around hi- h- h-

Your empty pen scratches the paper, threatening to tear through the delicate pages. Dammit! You fling it aside, and quickly grab another at random. Red this time, the colour of passion. Appropriate…

-around his throbbing length.

Working with more intent, would Eddie watch, mouth agape, practically drooling? Or would he take your lead, replacing your fingers with his own, experimentally touching, circling, pressing? Watching your face contort as his technique improves, his gorgeous dimples popping as he gets it right, both of you nearing your peaks.

Maybe he’d even grab you and lift you from him, bend you over the table and enter you roughly from behind, feral grunts emanating from his chest. And you imagine you’d love every second, even the feel of the edge of the desk digging into the flesh of your thighs.

Whichever position you were in, he’d make you cum, you’re certain of that. But would you be first, spasming around him as he groans with approval? Would he then chase his own release, pummelling your sensitive core and making galaxies erupt behind your eyelids?

Perhaps you’d cum together, Eddie pushing himself impossibly deeper, his intense thrusts repeatedly pushing his fat tip against your special spot, your rippling walls milking him as his hot spend fills you up fuller than you’d ever thought possible. Would he stay inside you, panting, holding you close as he softens and your combined breaths become steady?

You wonder how he’d behave afterwards. Would he help you dress, stroke your hair? Would he dash off to find something to clean you up with? Would he sit with you as you both recover, humming as you cuddle, murmuring sweet, romantic things to each other as his seed leaks out of you onto the hard chairs of the study room?

Would he gently lift your chin, look deep into your eyes, and tell you that he lo—

Panting, sweating and unsure where most of this, let alone that last part, came from, you discard your pen with a clatter and slam your notebook shut, not for the first time wondering whether it’s possible to retrofit a padlock to it just in case anyone you live with decides to get curious.

You’re definitely not feeling calmer. This absolutely hasn’t worked. At all. In fact, you’re more frustrated now than you were before you began writing.

Running a hand slowly over your face, your fingertips pause at your lips, skimming lightly over them. You close your eyes and remember all over again how Eddie’s plush, pink, pillowy lips felt against them just hours ago. 

Gently, you open your jaw a little, and run your index and middle fingers over your teeth and across your tongue. Enjoying the sensation, you can’t help but wonder how Eddie’s rough, talented musician’s fingers would feel doing exactly this.

Turning over and flopping back on your pillows, your other hand runs across your belly and over the top of one thigh, and you pause your thumb at the crease of your hip, just able to feel the lacy edge of your panty elastic beneath your clothes.

You glance towards your bedside table, knowing exactly what’s inside that closed drawer. And you seriously contemplate trying a very different form of reflection this evening…

Thanks so much for reading! 💗

I hope you enjoyed seeing what reader got up to whilst Eddie was in the shower 😉

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Lesson Three is in progress - let me know if you’d like to join the taglist. 

Taglist Pt 1: @airen256 @bimbotrashcan @urlbitchin @guiltyasquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @rustboxstarr @bl4ckt00thgr1n @bexreadstoomuch @cozmiccass @yujyujj @cluz1babe @thunderg @aysheashea @paleidiot @cadence73 @eddie-munsons-wifey @siriuslysmoking @neville-is-my-husband @aestheticaltcow @jjmaybankswifes-blog @lightcommastix @ungracefularchimedes @spenciesprincess @joejoequinnquinn @freshoutthewomb2 @sunshinepeachx @tlclick73 @hellfirenacht @yourdailymemedelivery @wendyxox @madaboutmunson @80s-addict @skrzydlak @eddiesxangel @bunny7232 @starksbabie @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @abellmunsonmovie @sheneedsrocknroll92 @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @wonderlanddreamer @leatherfaceologist @munson-blurbs @paradisepoisons @lokidokieokie @rcailleachcola @fckyeahlames @kurdtbean

[lazycats-stuff]

I love the Brazilian batboy fanfic, consider doing it with a Venezuelan batboy in the future please 🙌🏻

Alright, lets do it! This gif is from Giphy since there are no good gifs regarding Venezuela on Tumblr so I thought why not get something from the internet. Also, this is shorter than usual since the heat is killing me. Officially, I swear. I want winter back.

Summary: (Y/N) is Venezuelan. Enough said.

Warnings: none really

Bruce strikes once again with his mister worldwide status. Turns out that Bruce had another kid in Venezuela. At this point, everyone was already over it and had no intentions of even getting aggravated in the slightest.

Even Damian, the only biological son up until this point didn't get pissed. He said it wasn't worth the aggravation and went on with his day calmly and peacefully. Bruce was suspicious beyond belief, but eventually said that a calm Damian is a great Damian. He really didn't expect this reaction from Damian, but he choose not to question it.

Either way, with everything going on with in Venezuela, he wanted to bring his son here, to the USA, so he can attend great college once he finishes high school. Immigration might be a bitch, but hey, he has money, connections and people who have power owe him favors. And besides, anyone seeing his name will make them move faster.

Sure, it sounds entitled and out of touch type of shit, but Bruce couldn't care at this point. Immigration is the worst type of torture in modern day society. But honestly. Anyone trying to move or get a visa or a citizenship, knows it's the biggest hassle and annoyance in the world.

But either way, Bruce brought (Y/N) to Gotham and (Y/N) was working on getting his American citizenship. (Y/N) was slowly getting there. He knew English, but when it came to Spanish, he talked insanely fast. Insanely. When he got mad, he was talking faster than Flash could run.

Jason found it amusing as hell. Sometimes he would intentionally make (Y/N) mad to see how fast he could make him to talk. Everyone else stayed out of it, trying to see how they could get along with (Y/N).

Dick noticed that (Y/N) was warm towards everyone, welcoming to whoever came to him and open. That was nice compared to Americans. Dick adored those qualities in him and in people. Sure, the world is a cold place and you can't trust everyone, but sometimes you need to be open.

Tim loved how loudly (Y/N) would talk. It would keep him up when he needed to be up late. Sometimes it would scare him and he would jump like a scaredy cat sometimes, but he enjoyed the loudness of his voice and how it would keep him up when they talked.

Damian loved how he prioritized family. Despite not being blood related to everyone, he treated them like that. No difference. Whatever they needed, (Y/N) would tried to help them all. Damian respected that more than (Y/N) could ever know.

And, Jason loved how (Y/N) could party his ass off. Jason has never met a person who could party like him. Just let loose and have fun with his family or friends he has made here. It was just... Cool and Jason wished he was so cool and so relaxed.

However, Bruce didn't know that all of Gotham would go insane for his son. He didn't know that Venezuelan people were all pretty. Well, not all, but a good majority. He didn't expect the entire city to just talk about his son as if he was a piece of meat...

Sure, (Y/N) had Bruce's looks and his mother's looks and sure, (Y/N) was Latino, but this is slowly but surely getting out of hand. (Y/N) didn't mind, knowing he looked great, but Bruce was worried. As always. He always worried about his children. No matter how old they are, Bruce is always worried.

Sexualization of children is never okay. No matter the gender. And no matter the age as well.

But all in all, (Y/N) adapted to American culture quite well. Sure, there were weird moments where (Y/N) wondered what the hell were Americans thinking, but all in all, (Y/N) was doing great.

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Hey, I know the vote isn't done yet but I was wondering what our first interactions would be like with them all?

We can certainly arrange that!! Ask related to this post!

*Internally kicking his feet like a little girl seeing so many interactions with our post* ( • ᴗ • )

although maybe it’s a little short since we would rather leave more context for the actual posts - Tea

I read wrong a comment and thought they were requesting a shop owner when in truth they were talking about the seller, now the shop has an extra character *look into the abyss in poor reading comprehension*

In my defense, google said 'shopkeeper' was an equivalent to shop owner *disappointed of herself in non-native english speaker* but oh well, the more the merrier (ʃƪ＾3＾）～♡- coffee

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ ↔ ♪⁽⁽٩( ᐖ )۶⁾⁾ ₍₍٩( ᐛ )۶₎₎♪ ⬅ representation of the twins receiving incentives to post

Word count: 2k

tw: yandere behavior, nonhuman yanderes, human yanderes, delusional, RIP self-preservation, written in you/yours, willing reader

-`♡´- Dizie -`♡´-

You walk into your house, still submerged in your own thoughts as you walk through the door.

"Uh, maybe I should arrange something to welcome Dizie when he arrives? I hope I don't come off as awkward..."

But... Why is your place so dark?

 You hear the door being slammed shut and as you attempt to turn towards it, a hand snakes over your mouth with a delicate yet firm touch as another coils around your waist from behind. 

"You were worried about my first impression of you? That's… really cute"

The voice of a man purrs near your ear and then you feel his face gently nuzzling with the top of your head like an affectionate cat, a rather deadly one.

"I took the liberty of checking around your home, you know, to make sure everything is like it's supposed to be, to make sure nobody else is lurking around… I'm so glad that isn't the case, you're all mine to cherish… only mine"

You feel his nuzzling being replaced by a soft kiss on the top of your head, as the slender hand covering your mouth moves to gently hold your face while his thumb gently rubs your cheek. 

[Clarification: Dizie is NOT stuck in his past or still in love with the last “darling” he was bought by. He doesn't see the reader as a replacement of any sort. We want to get that out of the way from the get go, he's just traumatized (as he probably should be ngl) - the twins]

-`♡´- Gabriel -`♡´-

Tossing your keys onto your couch cushion you let out a soft sigh, the walk back home was rather awkward, well, as awkward as can be with a man following behind like a lost puppy, his eyes practically piercing the back of your head. You wondered why he kept walking behind you but brushed the thought out quickly as you felt him let out a veery faint sigh of awe while glancing around your home.

“it smells just like you-”

The man whispered to himself, his words quiet yet the silence of you both being alone allowed you to hear him very clearly. flattering, but also a little unnerving. 

How did he manage to smell you when he was walking like a meter away from you?

His hands fidgeted as you glanced back at him, his eyes landing on your form still basking in the sight like you were some sort of divine entity before him.

 “This must be Gabriel then” 

you thought, connecting your choice with the man that just randomly started following you which you didn't have the heart to scare away.

 When the seller said he was a worshiper… he wasn't exaggerating.

Shakily, he reaches for one of your hands, clasping it tenderly with both his hands, completely engulfing yours with the warmth of his nervous fidgeting. His cheeks blaze red by the mere idea of touching your skin.

He leans down, pressing his forehead to the back of your hand, taking a shaky breath, then looking up to meet your gaze with pure adoration.

“I'm so incredibly thankful to be in your presence, darling. I'm so glad you chose me…”

(A person called him and Grier 'pathetic little mew mews' and now that lives rent free on my head; if you read this, I love your energy - coffee)

-`♡´- Oliver -`♡´-

This man is eager, that's for sure. There's no denying it as he practically drags you with him to his bakery as soon as your finger grazed his name on that paper.

You couldn't say a thing though, that wide smile on his face was just as sweet as the scent that wafted through the air as you entered the shop with the jingle of the welcome bell.

You were ordered to sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee with some butter cookies for the wait. He wanted to make something special, he said, quickly diving into the kitchen without saying another word.

You took a small bite of the cookie thinking perhaps there was something in it, but if you were his darling now then it shouldn't be anything harmful, should it? The cookie was… just any normal cookie, it was delicious even, buttery and crumbly, mixing perfectly with the rich flavor of the coffee. 

Your mind drifted to the man’s appearance as he gave you constant glances, peeking from the kitchen a little too often, it was adorable in a way, like he was checking if you were still there. There was no need to check though, he had locked the entrance as soon as you walked in and you had totally noticed. You weren't going anywhere. 

A few minutes later he peeked again, though this time with a tray in his hands, he approached and placed it in front of you, a delicious slice of cheesecake greeting you. He smiled proudly as he saw your mouth water and as you eyes scanned the delicious treat you couldn't help but notice the fresh cut on his finger already bandaged up yet still bleeding a bit through the gauze… how deep was the cut? The blood was so red it didn't look like a superficial wound.

“I'm just a bit nervous, Dear, i wanted to cut it perfectly for you… my hand must have slipped”

He reassured you, dismissing the severity of it but quickly hiding the cut from you. His sheepish smile though made you forget about it for a hot minute- how was this bulky man such a sweetheart? 

Your fork soon dug into the creamy goodness of the cheesecake, the raspberry sauce that sat on top dripping a bit, its rich red color almost resembling that of his blood. What a passionate baker…

(...I love him, okay? -Tea)

-`♡´- singer  -`♡´-

The door of the car is opened before you get the chance to even lift a finger and you are greeted by the angelic face of a man, worthy of praise and worship, smiling down at you and offering his hand as to help you get out of the car

"Hi~, welcome welcome, how are you feeling on such a joyful day as today? I hope that you are as thrilled as I am"

He says with a charming smile, holding your hand delicately for you to exit the car then  guides you into his house, his eyes ogling you like a three course meal.

"Would you like something to drink? A water perhaps? I don't really have much sugary drinks since i take care of my vocal cords, but if that's what you'd like then I'll absolutely find a way to get it for you"

"Oh, I'm really fine, don't wor-"

His step falters before stopping dead in his tracks, his smile softening in… awe? He shuffles closer as your voice trails off by the sudden action.

"Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry to interrupt your words, I just couldn't help but get closer… you speak so softly, I'd wish to hear you more clearly"

He puts his hand on your shoulder reassuringly, though it quickly moves up to your neck, his thumb caressing your throat.

"You shouldn't overthink too much, your duty here is being happy with me, and when I'm not around, feel free to enjoy your free time as you wish; my only condition here is you take care of yourself and… to not look at anyone else in the eye for too long… but well, you should’ve already expected that, you signed for it, honey"

-`♡´- Myotis -`♡´-

You feel your heart on your throat as the butler opens the door for you, as you make your way inside, you feel like you walked straight into a historical movie of some sort, if the outside looked already out of a gothic fairytale, you can't find the words to describe how impressive the inside is.

"I'm glad you seem to like the place, Amore, that makes things easier for both of us. I hope you can forgive my eagerness to meet you"

You can't help but get surprised when you notice him right beside you, speaking to you dearly as he grabs your hand as if it was made of glass to softly kiss the back before giving you a smile.

"Fear not, you can always indulge yourself and wander around to enjoy the mansion, but I rather that the precious focus of your gaze be on me, I’d be delighted to spend as much time with you as possible, don't you think so?" 

-`♡´- Lior -`♡´

You enter your home excited, wondering if you should get some fairy lights and stuff for the yandere you chose when a rustling in the distance disturbs your thoughts, grounding you back to reality.

You make your way in the direction of the noise and find yourself standing in front of your bedroom window where the poor moth boy flutters his wings trying to squeeze past the small gap, half of his body still hanging outside the window. This must be Lior.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, I just thought I would be able to fit in the open gap"

You truly can't help but giggle at the situation, okay, he is really cute for a yandere, the seller sure speaks the truth.

He grumbles uncomfortably, wiggling his way inside your home. His satchel almost falling out the window, but he manages to grab it mid air. Fast reflexes, that's a plus.

"I brought a present with me!"

He sighed out in relief while holding his satchel. With some effort due to his limited movement, he is quick to lift his bag and rummage through it, proudly lifting in the air a big cinnamon scented candle.

“Some light for my daylight! I-I thought you'd like it, though I'm not allowed to use candles… I always burn myself with the wax”

(he's my baby and i love him, thank you very much. -tea)

-`♡´- Tarak -`♡´

"Huh, what a gorgeous being…for a human… I will accept your proposal"

The dragon says in a low husky voice, gazing at you with a smirk, his hand gently lifting your chin so that your eyes meet his.

"You were the one that got chosen, not the other way around"

The seller quickly remarks, the humanoid dragon clicking his tongue in response.

“Same difference... the order of the factors does not alter the product after all, we are united either way”

Even if the humanoid acts roughly with the seller, Tarak gently puts your hand on his arm and holds it there as he walks outside of the store with you. What a gentleman.

"You are going to love the forest, of course, my cave is most enchanting, but I did in fact go out of my way and make a cabin next to it, everything is already taken cared of, I know not every species has the resilience to prosper in my environment, but, well, your ancestors used to live in caves... so maybe you can manage"

“Is my home not an option from the beginning?”

You say a little nervous, not sure if you can actually survive in a forest without being eaten alive by the wildlife, although you must admit that is kind of a silly thought if you think of the power of a dragon like him.

He looked like he was about to protest your request, but just your scent in the air was all he needed to sense your feelings and give you a look as he relaxed his shoulder in defeat.

"... alright, I'll indulge you, we have a lot of time in our hands to adjust to the changes around us anyways, I'll stay at your home until you are comfortable enough to come to mine, I will make sure to adorn it in any way you please for when that time comes"

He gently messes with your hair as a way to reassure you before he resumes walking, following you to your home.

-`♡´- Grier -`♡´ 

The seller goes down the wooden ladder after taking the tape off the camera lense and signs for you to come closer to it.

"The cameras here don't have sound but showing you to him should be enough of a clue all by itself"

You freeze as the security camera focuses on you, standing there, you wave awkwardly and the camera starts moving side to side abruptly before freezing,  like the person behind it moved away from it.

"Well, either he fainted or he is coming right away!"

The seller says in a cheerful voice as he goes to cover the camera lense again with a strip of tape. A couple of minutes pass before you hear the screeching stop of a car parking in front of the shop hurriedly, soon followed by a panting man who barges inside like his life depended on it.

“I’m here! I'm here!!” 

He says almost tripping on his own feet as he shoves in your face a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

"Oh, those are my favorites! Thank you"

"I-I know, don't worry, I made sure to do a quick background check on your medical history so I don't trigger any allergies, I promise I will gather more information tonight! Don't worry"

-`♡´- The seller -`♡´

"I already told you, I'm not a yandere"

"How did you know I don't go out?"

"You're practically chronically online! It's just a lucky guess"

"My screen time is something even weirder for you to know!"

"..."

"..."

"... don't tell management"

[Clarification: yes, the seller’s is shorter, that's because as far as we can tell, he's most likely to win first place in the survey so we are saving up most of his character and interactions for his main post (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ - the twins] 

-`♡´- …owner? -`♡´

…???

"Oh, that's an interesting turn of events, so many options yet the button you press is not even part of the survey..? How experimental”

The owner let out a rich laugh as he spoke his usual nonsense to catch your attention through the speakers of the shop.

"Ah yes, 'nonsense'. What a disappointing excuse.."

The owner argued with himself under his breath before he sights.

"Want something to drink?"

*Ejem* little clarification (it's the third one now in this post, get a grip. - tea to himself), characters that aren't in this survey have already been requested in asks or comments or, well, won the first survey. we haven't forgotten about them, we are already working on their posts 💚 - tea

Don't forget! If you like something specific, you can ask freely! As I said before, we love interactions! (Attentions seekers? More like validation seekers lol) - coffee

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

Divider by tea ✌️ (i know I'm amazing/j)

[blorbosinmyheadcentral]

Hey Val!

So (if you've seen it) what do you think of episode 2?

Here's some thoughts!

GANGLE

When will Gangle know happiness... 

KINGER

Kinger was adorable as always. I like how the others can rely on him when they're feeling emotionally vulnerable. That scene with Ragatha and her self-doubt, and how Kinger reassures her? I'm glad he has these moments of clarity. Old man even tries to help Pomni, even if he's bad at it. He's so well intentioned. <3

JAX

Jax is a terrible person. He was already very bad before, but somehow got worse. No care for his companions (Pomni and Gangle mostly), no care for the NPCs (he was very eager to see them die horribly). There's some indication Jax might have cared about Kaufmo, but overall, his attitude is so dissonant. It's hard to understand what's really going on inside his head.

RAGATHA

I like that Ragatha didn't hold any grudges over Pomni abandoning her in episode 1. Ragatha is just so sweet. Constantly worrying for Pomni's well being, being considerate enough to try to cheer up Jax of all people. She makes a huge difference in this group, like a glue that keeps everyone together.

GUMMIGOO

LOVED Gummigoo. Yeah I wasn't prepared for him. I didn't know what to expect of him (he looked like a serious bad guy type?), but what we got was so good. Loves his two gummy gator friends (wants to preserve their minds from the weight of self-awareness). His connection to Pomni, the way they could relate, it was all believable and palpable. Nice guy.

POMNI

Pomni herself was my favorite. Compassionate, empathetic, expressing her thoughts calmly and sincerely. Determined, inventive - trying to find ways to get herself and Gummigoo out of that place. 

I think the fact that she spent most of these two episodes physically separated from everyone else was no coincidence. Pomni was disconnected from them. The dream sequence at the beginning? A reflection of her own doubts and fears. That she's nothing, or that no one in the circus would care if she was gone. So she, either intentionally or by happenstance, distanced herself. 

I'm super happy that the episode ended on a hopeful note. Pomni found that her companions would care for her and remember her, and so it turned her views on her head. She's not alone. She has people that she can rely on.....

KAUFMO

(The Kaufmo funeral was very touching too, especially with Zooble organizing it. I've seen jokes that no one cared much that he died in episode 1, so seeing otherwise was pretty cool.)

FANDOM

I hold no ill will against Caine, and this is coming from someone who really really liked Gummygoo (literally screamed a big NOOO when he poofed). It's a little concerning how feral people are getting about Caine.

CAINE

Speaking of Caine, I need understanding between them, I need it SO bad. He keeps making these little decisions that impact the human characters. Especially Pomni. And he's not even aware of how much it hurts them, or that it's harmful at all!!

The way some of them are so dismissive (Zooble waiting for him to go away), annoyed, or only see Caine as a bot that fixes things when everything goes wrong... it makes me think they've tried to reason with him before, and it didn't work, so now they treat him like the machine he is to them.

As of now, Pomni understands him as much as everyone else does. She's frustrated, she's livid, and she has every reason to want to punch his teeth in. But after episode 2???? Considering how sympathetic Pomni was with Gummigoo, an NPC/AI himself???? I have a little hope that Pomni can actually get through to Caine in the future.

[pureh9neyy]

ˑ 𖥻 did you know, music can be a form of manifestation?

learn this from my good sis @serephos , but did you know this?

the music you listen to on a daily, has forms of affirmations and can be used as manifestation.

What do I mean by this? Let me teach you.

almost every artist you listen to puts affirmations into their music—sometimes subtly hidden, other times boldly placed front and center.

The lyrics are crafted to draw you in, resonating deeply with your emotions and experiences.

The beats are designed to be addictive, creating rhythms that linger in your mind.

The catchy, relatable songs you stream daily carry messages that your subconscious absorbs without you even realizing it.

The affirmations, embedded in the music, become a part of your internal dialogue, influencing your thoughts and keeping you hooked.

Need examples? Let me show you. Let’s take Beyoncé’s - Renaissance album as my example.

This album is FULL of affirmations placed in front of people and nobody seems to realize it.

“I”. “I”. That “I”. Word. YOU. YOUU. You ARE that girl. YOU touch everything in your plain view.

The song “I’m That Girl” is a powerful anthem of self-confidence and unapologetically embracing who you are, no matter how others perceive you. The repeated use of “I” throughout the song creates a first-person narrative, directly addressing and affirming you as the listener.

This intentional perspective places you at the center, reminding you that you are the one who defines and decides your identity. The song empowers you to own your individuality without compromise. As your subconscious mind absorbs the repeated “I,” it aligns with your self-perception, helping you manifest your unique power and confidence into reality.

It’s more than a song; it’s an affirmation set to music, reshaping the way you see yourself with every beat.

Example 2.) Cozy. This song is so FULL. Of affirmation’s for yourself it’s insane.

You’re. You. I. EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU. YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. THIS ALBUM IS FULL OF AFFIRMATIONS THAT CAN BE USED FOR LOA.

the song “Cozy” is a vibrant declaration of self-love, confidence, and embracing every part of yourself—flaws, strengths, and all. it celebrates individuality and self-acceptance in the most empowering way, reminding you that your value doesn’t come from anyone else’s validation but your own.

the lyrics are affirmations of being comfortable in your own skin, speaking directly to the listener. as phrases like “comfortable in my skin” and “I’m cozy” repeat, your subconscious begins to internalize these declarations. the song works as a rhythmic mantra, gently but powerfully shifting your perspective toward self-appreciation.

with every beat, “Cozy” teaches you to stand tall in your truth, to love your layers, and to find beauty in all the parts of yourself. It’s a celebration of resilience and the warmth of unapologetic authenticity—an anthem for owning exactly who you are.

when i tell people this album saved my life, they look at me crazy. but when you truly listen to the affirms used in these songs .

renaissance will forever be my favorite album ever released.

look closely at the lyrics of your favorite artist, and pay attention to the ones that resonate deeply with you. these are the words that spark something inside—a sense of familiarity, motivation, or even transformation. lyrics often hold affirmations hidden in plain sight, crafted to connect with your subconscious mind.

those lines that stick with you, that you replay over and over? they’re not just catchy; they’re powerful. they can shape your mindset, reinforce beliefs, and subtly influence how you see yourself and the world. whether it’s a line about confidence, self-love, or resilience, these words plant seeds in your mind that grow every time you listen.

Your favorite songs are more than music—they’re a reflection of what your heart and soul need to hear. Focus on those lyrics, and let them guide you toward the energy you want to embody.

honey out. be forever yourself and keep manifesting. 🤍🪩

[desperate-daydream]

hi! can i rq a five hargreeves x aroace reader (friendship obvi) where reader is very anxious/paranoid & one of their comforts is touch, so five is always near them or lending him their jacket/small acts of care type of thing

☂️Umbrella Academy

❀ five hargreeves x gn aroace reader ⚣

A/N: Oh my gods, I'm still alive! XD thanks for your request! I hope you still enjoy this story even though it took a really really long time.

tags/warnings: swearing, reader has anxiety, five has flashbacks; plays in season 1

the best team

Five Hargreeves was a smart and strategic man but he had a soft spot; for his annoying siblings and you. You had started off as partners in the commission and became friends over time. He was the one person you had told about you being aroace - which he could relate to - and he knew about your anxiety. 

You were a great team together that always supported each other. You would help him with his flashbacks and he would help you with your anxiety. 

And that was about to skyrocket right now. You had helped Five to figure out the right equations to get back to his family and then he was finally able to do the jump - of course taking you with him. But apparently something went wrong because when you landed on the other side of the portal you were both in the bodies of your teenager-selves. 

“Fuck, something went wrong”, you heard Five muttering to himself. You were speechless when you looked up from your younger hands to the adults standing in front of you. One of them just asked: “Can you see little Five too?”. Then Five looked up too before his gaze went towards you. You felt like you increasingly couldn’t breathe anymore and looked at Five with wide eyes. 

You heard a noise and only when Five hurried to get up you realized that it came from you. 

„Okay, listen to my voice. Blend out everything else. Breath y/n. Breathe with me, alright?“ 

He blocked most of your view towards the adults who didn‘t know how to react yet. He took your hands in his to help you steady yourself - since one of your comforts was touch - and with some more helpful words and methods you calmed down. 

Five helped you get up then and went to the door while dragging you behind him and almost seemingly ignoring the adults who were then coming back to their senses. 

They followed closely asking what happened or simply repeating his name like they couldn‘t believe that he was right there. 

While walking you spotted your reflection in a mirror on the wall and flinched - you really were in the body of your younger self. 

You reached the kitchen and Five started making sandwiches as well as coffee for him and cocoa for you. 

„What are you doing?“, the tall woman asked. 

„And who is that?“, a guy in full black attire added. 

„We both need sugar to recharge“, he answered while continuing his work. You were just standing there merely happy that you didn‘t go into full panik. 

„And who the fuck is that?!“, the man repeated himself and emphasised it with a gesture towards you. 

„That is y/n. We’re colleagues.“

To others this description might‘ve felt offensive. You knew that in connection to you it meant you were trusted friends. 

���Colleagues?“, the confusion was clear on all their faces. 

Your mind slowly cleared and you started realizing that those people were Five‘s siblings. He had told you quite a lot about them - you were also the only one he had talked to about them. 

„Yes“, his answer had a little sharpness in it and your gaze shot up to him. You knew what that meant. He had pulled you out of your panic, now you started doing your best to prevent him from having a flashback. 

His gaze was already a bit out of focus and his movements slowed down so you hurried to get to him and touched his shoulder carefully. 

„Hey, you‘re not there anymore“, you slowly moved him around to the sink and turned on cold water. While you waited for it to be cold enough you pushed up the sleeves of his now way too big suit. 

Running cold water over his hands and forearms has always been pretty effective to get Five back in his body. You were relieved when he looked at you after a moment and nodded as a thank you. 

You turned off the water and dried both your hands. 

“Everything okay?”, one of his siblings asked with his brows furrowed. “Yes”, you answered while Five brushed it off with a wave of his hand. 

You helped him finish your snacks and stayed close to calm both of you. When you sat down at the table to eat it his siblings started their questions again. 

They had a lot of those and you spent enough time on this table that you leaned on your friend’s shoulder from being tired out. Five put his arm around you to steady your upper body. That way you rested a bit before both of you went to save the world - as the best team you'll ever see.

[one-flower-one-sword]

"Feng Xin, however, cut straight to the point. "You don't need to pretend anymore! We know this is your old lair. We've already seen what those divine statues are, and the murals too - we've seen everything!" Hua Cheng wasn't directly facing them; he stood at an angle. The hands tugged behind his back seemed to jerk at Feng Xin's words, and two of the fingers curled stiffly inward.

"His Highness... saw it too?" he asked softly, inclining his head. His voice was very, very quiet. While he still sounded unfazed, his voice was slightly cracked and obviously strange."

TGCF Volume 6, page 62

This, to me, is one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the entire series, because of how violating it is what both Hua Cheng and Xie Lian go through. But there have already been many posts about how Mu Qing and Feng Xin take away Xie Lian's agency and autonomy and belittle his intelligence by kidnapping him away from Hua Cheng, trying to take the red string from him, and slapping the command talisman on him that rendered him mute and paralyzed. So what I want to focus on is Hua Cheng's side of it because what he goes through is also violating, just in different ways.

Given that this is Mount Tonglu, it makes absolute sense that Hua Cheng assumed that Xie Lian would never see any of the statues or murals, nor would anyone else connected to him, since gods and heavenly officials usually never go there. It also needs to be kept in mind that the statues were covered by veils and the murals covered by butterfly silk - whether this was done to hide them or to protect them from decay is beside the point, which is that they were covered and that Feng Xin and Mu Qing tear all of those covers down and then get offended by what they find under them - which are Hua Cheng's most private and intimate thoughts and feelings and memories. They might as well have torn open Hua Cheng's heart and soul and dissected the contents only to spit on them in disgust.

So now, not only have two of the people Hua Cheng hates the most uncovered Hua Cheng's most private feelings regarding Xie Lian, they also revealed them to Xie Lian without Hua Cheng's consent. And judging by the above description, Hua Cheng is terrified of Xie Lian's reaction. Usually, he has to be pushed pretty far to ever lose his composure - he evidently has very strong emotions, but most of the time he's suppressing them beneath his laid-back, unshakable attitude. Xie Lian himself remarks at some point on how Hua Cheng smiling doesn't necessarily relate to what he's actually feeling at all since it's just this condescending fake smile he aims at others (well, anyone other than Xie Lian). But here, now, Hua Cheng's hands jerk in shock. His usually confident voice is quiet and actually cracks with how afraid and distressed he is.

Also, though this is more in the realm of speculation because the text isn't clear on it - it's mentioned that he's not facing them directly but standing at an angle, and the look in his eye is actually not described at all - this could be taken to mean that he's deliberately standing in a way that has his blind side facing them more than his seeing side, since very often it's the look in his eye that's giving his emotions away the most. It would make sense that he's deliberately standing like this to try and conceal how hard he's struggling to keep it together.

Aside from losing Xie Lian again or not being able to protect him from harm, this has to be one of Hua Cheng's worst fears - for Xie Lian to be scared of and disgusted by him, to reject Hua Cheng's devotion. Back when Guoshi divined his fate and called him toxic and dangerous and demanded Xie Lian to send him away and not even touch him at all, when everyone was treating him like "poisonous vermin" (volume 2, page 380) and trying to separate him from Xie Lian by force, Xie Lian was the only one to not be scared of and disgusted by him, the one who instead held him and soothed him, who kept insisting that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't misfortune and disaster. But now with the command talisman making it look like Xie Lian "was afraid to face Hua Cheng and refused to speak to him", this one of Hua Cheng's worst fears seems to have become reality, and it's breaking him apart to a point where he seems to actually be close to tears.

[muninnhuginn]

also throwing out a few wild thoughts here after watching the new ep:

why is everyone so weird when hearing cwm's name? as we've seen cwm's thing here seems to be that he 'wants to do better by these kids' (let's ignore the safeguarding issues about saying he wants to be their friends when a teacher a sec). so, speculation: cwm deliberately takes the fall for the actual arsonist who'll likely be either xia fei or wang qing?

and yeah as everyone has picked up on cxs knows way too much to survive this loop - not sure how they're gonna play his death or if they'll specifically tie it up to s2 finale but only a week to go now

lu guang is the subtlest wdym. 'yeah like if we high five we can probably share powers' bestie what. (on a related note, his bit about 'powers are just like traits' vibed really mob psycho to me. I wonder if it's what past cxs 'taught' him about his powers after he'd grown up thinking of them in a less positive way)

said this already in another post but "what's the point in waiting if there's no hope?" is definitely a thematic string to pull on

cheng xiaoshi gets the speech/verbal understanding language module of whoever he possesses but not the written understanding. this is pure trivia, but still interesting to know. we know from his later interaction with vein that he sure doesn't retain the language knowledge after the fact

lu guang and cheng xiaoshi losing connection again during the dive. the show always make a point of highlighting when this happens. was trying to figure out if any other powers could be interfering here as happened with the twins, but touch-wise at least, it seems... unlikely? (though can't rule out other power interference entirely) but if anything, the way lu guang was sweating when we got the focus back to him after the connection rejoined makes it seem like this was an issue on his end (one which ig resulted in cxs having to improvise and therefore get caught from a show perspective). lu guang being ill affecting his powers tracks with what he said pre-twins dive in s2 though. even though the connection itself was likely lost due to the twins, he was still struggling to see everything that happened in the photo before that. I wonder if we'll return to this as a plot point at any point, the idea that lu guang being ill or injured can mess with his powers - there was a post the other day (I think by @ sunslants) about it being neat if lu guang fainted in yingdu because his whole body is giving out under this power, and whilst idk how *likely* that is in canon, it'd definitely add a new deadline to things, if lu guang has to resolve everything before his whole body just gives out

oh yeah seems like vein knows whatever it is that xia fei also knows about the arson. not super surprising but potential motive forming ig?

cheng xiaoshi getting out his feelings to his dad in the form of wang qing was very good but the whole time lu guang was like "yeah sorry I didn't give you a heads up" I was there head in hands like "lu guang. please. this is your MO at this point"

still no answer about cxs' mum and why she followed after cwm then *also* vanished (tbh even the fact cwm up and went full no contact with cxs has me like ??? but I can't tell if we're meant to just let that be or question it further). it feels like there's way more to this, but hard to see how that plus everything else is getting resolved in the one episode we have left

"You're a total control freak" "That's because of you." Lu Guang....

Basketball halo'd Lu Guang when he asked Cheng Xiaoshi to do ibuprofen together....

Cheng Xiaoshi wanting to get revenge on the bullies and Lu Guang instantly responding along the lines of "well, hey, they're all gonna die soon" cracked me up. Was probably meant to be more of an "oof" but. I laughed.

[minniepetals]

cry me a river | the apologies

— summary: how many apologies have you heard in your life? too many to count

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 5.7k

— warnings: none

— PART 21 / previous post / masterpost

“Do you know how much we panicked when you didn’t come home and fell out of the radar?” When Namjoon finally gets a moment amidst the whole chaos of Yoongi finally back with you still unconscious even after the successful surgery, the door is closed and locked, and no one except the seven of them stands in the room of the hospital that is still hosting you. They can finally confront Yoongi about what happened.

“I thought I knew Min Yoongi but the moment you were kidnapped, everything that I thought I knew about you fell out of place when I tried connecting everything to see what happened, who you angered, the people you were around before you joined me, but I came up with nothing. You’re not someone who’ll go out there secretly meeting up with leaders and pissing them off, I know that, and I trust the person that you are now, right in front of me, so I knew whoever was trying to hurt you couldn’t possibly be someone we know, and that’s when I figured there’s been something you haven’t told us. Perhaps it doesn’t matter now, and perhaps it’s all in the past for you, but Min Yoongi, I have to know everything because the moment you get hurt again, I won’t stand for it.”

“There isn’t anyone else,” Yoongi says, quick but truthful, and so they listen in to what he has to say. Yoongi hesitates for a moment, remembering what you asked him in the alleyway a few days ago, how you asked whether Namjoon would care now, and because he knows the answer, he takes a deep breath to let the truth tell itself. “I am,” he pauses, “was, the heir of the Viper gang.”

They react with dumbfounded expressions, and Yoongi knows it’s a shock because how would anyone have figured that out? He’s always been quiet, stood back to let others handle things, dislikes watching people getting tortured, and does everything the opposite of what an heir does.

Every child that’s born under a mafia ruler is taught to stand formidable, act a certain way, and talk a certain way. No one has ever been an exception, so of course it comes out as a shock when Yoongi reveals to them that not only is he related to the Vipers but was the son of Min Junmyeon.

And he had a sister.

“Junmyeon never said anything because I was like a child thrown out of the throne that was meant to be his. Although I wasn’t kicked out.” He looks up, a small, bitter smile curling up just slightly. “I didn’t lie when I said I ran away from the life I was born into. I did run. I ran because I was invisible and because no one cared. They didn’t care to search for me and force me back so I didn’t return. For some time I was content with that life. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t sad. I was okay with it. When Nari was born, Junmyeon took a whole 180-degree turn and flipped his switch. His whole life was dedicated to her but I never came to resent the way she stole the attention of everyone in the gang. I didn’t care, but I did want to seek approval. What sort of child wouldn’t? I was a good brother, protected her when needed, but eventually I grew tired of being invisible to everyone and just ran. When no one came searching for me, I returned once to see how things were, to see if they had cared but just had a hard time looking for me. But in the end, no one sought out for the lost heir, they probably didn’t even notice, so I took off to the streets and decided it was better there than to live a doll life, invisible to everyone.”

When he speaks of his past, the sort of person he was before he met them, Yoongi doesn’t speak with emotions. He isn’t that man who was filled with emotions days ago when they brought you here, when he didn’t want anyone close enough to touch you, when he took his promise to you to heart. 

Perhaps it was his guilt toward you, perhaps it was his way of apologizing, and no one would blame him for that.

Yet this Yoongi is different. This Yoongi is the usual Yoongi everyone sees, the Yoongi who looks so lifeless, who looks as if he has no heart or anything he desires in this life.

“We were enemies then,” he tells Namjoon, and this time there’s a bit of life, a small little crease in between his brows. “Your gang and the Vipers didn’t get along and, I knew who you were when you saved me that day from those thugs, yet I still followed you because you were the first person who saw me. You saw me and you saved me, while back in the Viper’s manor, I was kidnapped along with Nari and took a scar down my back for her but no one cared. They never cared, and when I received my first kindness…I decided to follow you. But I was too guilty to tell you the truth about who I was and where I came from. That’s why I never said anything.”

“But the Vipers stopped mattering to me a few years after we met,” Namjoon points out. “Why did you never tell me then?”

“I…” He catches himself, pausing, and takes a brief glance at the others. “Everyone else…went through something much worse than I,” he says. Softly. They watch him with confusion though let him keep speaking. “I grew up alright. I grew up privileged. The only thing about me was Junmyeon’s neglect and being invisible to everyone in that manor. Compare that to what everyone else went through? I didn’t want to bring my problems in, I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone with my useless worries. You all had people after you, wanting to actively hunt you down and hurt you.”

“Just because you didn’t have people actively trying to kidnap you doesn’t mean you were safe from the abuse,” Hoseok cuts in as he strolls down to take Yoongi’s hands. He was there when Namjoon saved him, he was right there to have seen the scars Yoongi retained and the pain in the little boy’s expression that night. Yoongi may act like he never cared back then but he did. And both Namjoon and Hoseok have seen it to remember the story otherwise.

“In the end, you were still kidnapped. They showed up years too late but you still ended up hurt.” Seokjin places a hand on his face, brows creased when he runs a smooth thumb over the bandage wrapped around his eye.

“This wasn’t because they went out of their way to hurt me,” Yoongi admits, the good eye meeting the floor with a little tilt in his head. “I actually got hurt because Nari was about to kill Y/N and stepped forth trying to stop her and in the process, she got my eye.”

So they really did have intentions to kill you.

“You watched her too, didn’t you?” Taehyung asks. “It wasn’t just Sunoo. You saw it too.”

He wonders how he would have felt being in his hyung’s position, watching the woman he once loved going through such torture right before his eyes, all the while knowing he could do nothing. In the end, Yoongi was able to save you. In the end, Yoongi carried you out and ran you to safety with the little kid who had been the reason the both of you couldn’t get out that soon.

You both sacrificed something.

Namjoon holds Yoongi’s face in his hands and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes as he tries to envision the pain. Yoongi will only be able to use one eye from now on, and although it will take a moment, he’ll adjust and he’ll get used to it. But for now, they’re here for him, through and through.

“From now on, no more secrets,” he whispers into the silence that walks in. “I don’t want to know how it feels to lose someone else. I can’t.”

.

.

.

Quiet.

Silence saved by the beeping on the monitor that indicates you still live, that your heart is still racing. Yuna, still seated on the floor but now on the floor of the room you’ve been relocated to, sits still to hear the sound, not moving an inch because if she cannot see, she can hear. It’s the only thing that’s keeping her sane.

Mingyu sits on a chair by your bedside. Dasom stands against a wall beside the door, arms crossed, eyes closed. Yeonjun sits on the couch along a wall, watching Sunoo who had refused to leave until he sees you wake, and in his stubbornness to sleep when needed, he’s finally managed to fall asleep with the sleeping dose Yeonjun used on him.

A few more Reapers stand outside the door, watching, waiting.

A finger twitches, subtly, but it doesn’t leave the hawk eyes of your right hand man. 

“Boss?” He calls, standing.

A heartbeat.

Then before he realizes, an arm extends out of nowhere, leaving him in a chokehold with a grip that has lost much of her strength after the event she’s gone through.

“Boss, it’s Mingyu,” Dasom quickly says when she runs to your side and Yuna has followed along.

Your eyes which had been deadly and alerted with suspicion, loses their glare once you realize who the person that had been by your side was. 

You loosen your grip around Mingyu’s neck, brows furrowing slightly as you take a look at your hand, realizing there are white bandages wrapped all the way up to your neck You stare at your fingers, noticing the pain in your wake, before something hits you and you feel a strong headache pounding hard.

You look over at Mingyu when you get up with the help from Dasom, feeling some sense of deja vu, though you can’t explain why.

“Have I…choked you..before?” You ask. As ridiculous as it sounds — because you’d never lay a hand on your Reapers — something about it just feels a bit…familiar, for some reason. Maybe you’re still dreaming, maybe the madness is spreading and you’re just making things up now but why, for some reason, do you feel as if you’ve held Mingyu by the neck before?

Mingyu doesn’t hesitate nor does he look away when he answers; “No.”

You have your reply and yet it still feels odd when you bring your hand to your head, slowly and gently rubbing your temples as you close your eyes. But then something suddenly hits you and you open your eyes again.

“Where am I?” This isn’t the manor or any place that belongs to you. You’d recognize it if it was.

“It’s a small hospital that belongs to Bangtan,” Mingyu explains. “It was the closest place they could get you to for help.” Your eyes widen in alertness but he’s quick to continue before your heart rate can increase. “As far as I know, Mr. Min was the only one to have touched you. He fended off anyone that tried to get close.”

Yoongi went to the extent for you?

You look down at yourself again, dressed in something you’ve never worn before and it almost feels as if you’re playing some patient in a mental ward. Father never cared to send you to hospitals when you were hurt, you were always taken care of by the medic team or during times when he’d punish you by not enlisting their help, it was your Reapers that had to find what they could to help you.

You’ve never been bedridden in a hospital bed before.

What a sight to behold.

You hate it.

When you throw the blanket off you and try to pull the uncomfortable IVs from your wrist, Mingyu takes your hand to stop you. “Look at your legs, boss, you can’t walk. And you’re still in pain everywhere.”

Wrapped legs. Wrapped arms, torso, and chest.

You look like a mummy.

“I’m not in pain,” you deny. “I can walk—”

“No, you can’t.” He stands tall, refusing to let you do what you wish and you know Mingyu only does this when you’re putting your health at risk otherwise he’d never go against you.

Still, you shake your head when he tries to put you back and they hear the way your heart rate increases. You look over at the sound of the monitor, falling with even more loathe because that thing is like a window to the things you want to hide. You try to push Mingyu off, a lump in your throat because it feels like you’re a prisoner and you don’t want to be here.

You don’t want to be here.

“I don’t like this,” you breathe out but Mingyu holds your shoulders and leans in close.

“That isn’t for you to say and this isn’t the place to panic,” he reminds you in a low tone and you know. You know this isn’t the place, you aren’t safe here, you aren’t safe to express and panic and get upset and do whatever it is you want to do but that’s exactly why you don’t want to be here.

You aren’t safe.

“I want to go home.” A shudder comes through you, a tremor in your hands.

The monitor continues updating.

Beep. Beep. Beepbeep—

“Stop it. Please, stop it. Don’t let them come in.” You know it’s alerting whoever can hear it outside this room. You know the door is about to open because you’re a patient and patients mean listening to what the doctors say and what the nurses say and what everyone else says. “Don’t let them come. Don’t let them come.”

“Yeonjun.” He takes Sunoo in his arms upon Mingyu’s command, leaving out the door. “Yeong.” Mingyu speaks into an earpiece and Lisa, Haneul, and Yiseul rush in.

Mingyu, Dasom, and Yuna back off to let them do their job while outside the door, Yeong and Jae have stepped up to stand guard.

“What’s going on?” Namjoon asks when the two Reapers hold their hands up, refusing to let anyone else in. From where he stands, along with the curtain covering the one window of the door, he can’t see what’s going on.

“We cannot let you in,” Yeong says strictly. “Please. For our boss’s privacy.”

“Is she hurting again?” Sunoo, who had woken up amidst the chaos, asks with worry shaking him once again.

“It’s not what you’re imagining,” Yeonjun tells him straightforwardly in a blunt tone, before looking up at the group that has gathered as if telling Namjoon he should know exactly what he means.

Upon that subtle confirmation, Namjoon backs down, nodding at his people to leave you be, before he walks off with Yoongi and Jungkook following behind.

On the other side of the wall, you must be awake and not taking things well. You’re panicking perhaps, losing your composure, and only the Reapers are allowed to see anything of that relating to you. No one else.

Back in the manor when you had confronted him and pretended to be the bad guy in his life, he saw a brief moment of you losing your composure. They all did. 

The moment you realized you had touched Namjoon, the moment everything started coming down so you walked over to a corner away from them all. You held yourself well despite everything threatening to tear you apart and Mingyu came in time to get you out of there, but in this hospital where you’ve undergone surgery and cannot move around so carelessly, there is only so little your mind can do to trick you out of panic.

And perhaps because it’s failing to protect you from the eyes of strangers, from the eyes of people you don’t trust, maybe that’s why the Reapers have all come into defense mode and have refused anyone to go near you.

“I want to go home.” Meanwhile, you repeat those words inside the room, feeling your throat clogging up and something scratching it so hard you wish to just tear it out. “I want to go home. Take me home.”

The monitor is still going off while you try to shake the hands that try to hold you down, kicking off the blanket, struggling to stay still.

“I want to go home..” Soon your voice dies down, quieting, quieting, until it turns completely silent and you’re simply doing nothing but trembling uncontrollably. You let your knees kick up to your chest, head lowered into them, hands coming around to cover your ears and they know. They know what’s happening.

You’ve never been loud. Not ever.

And although the silence, coldness, and the dark scares you more than anything else in this life, it is the only thing you succumb to when you feel as if everything has gone out of control.

Your silence tears your Reapers apart because it is your silence that tells them you aren’t okay.

That you’re in your most frightened state.

Lisa lets Mingyu come close when you succumb to the silence and they all stand back to watch him work his magic.

He dips the bed when he takes a seat, and when he reaches out to give your arm a tentative touch and you don’t flinch away, he allows himself closer. He puts both his legs onto the bed and pulls you in like you’re nothing but a small little child who needs calming down. Mingyu brings you into his lap and takes your hand from your ear, letting your head rest against his chest so you can hear the beat of his heart, and wraps his arms around you in a soft, soft embrace.

It takes time but eventually, the shaking stops. Eventually, the tension falls away and you allow yourself to welcome the embrace and let your limbs fall loose.

Too tired to hold up.

Too tired to keep strength.

Beep…beep…beep…

Your heartbeat slows as it follows after the one you’re listening to as if it is the only sound in this world that can save you from the depth of the sea.

The sound of the whale singing you a lullaby and bringing you to fall asleep once again.

.

.

.

“Deal with them. I don’t know what Yoongi wants but it’s not my call to have them dead.”

Days after sending that letter off to Namjoon once things started to calm down on your end, you hear news of the remaining members of the Vipers completely wiped out. You’d been back at your manor for a good time now, ever since waking up for the second time and finding relief in knowing you weren’t at some unknown place. Luckily. 

Your Reapers always know just what to do when a situation calls for it and you’re glad you have them by your side.

With you bedded and unable to walk and do much on your own, you let them follow you through words alone. The Academy is to set up training lessons on both combat and weapon skills. Initially, when building the school you thought against the idea, but since Sunoo’s been used against you as leverage, you figure giving them some life skills should come in handy in the future. They won’t become your little assassins per se but if they want to survive in this world, they have to learn how to fight it. It’s for their own survival, you can’t have a situation with Sunoo repeating again. They should at least know how to defend themselves if anything.

You’ve also told your Reapers the names of the people that have hurt you before, the ones they don’t know of, the ones from before Yuna arrived. It’s a secret you’ve always kept in the back of your memories, not wanting them to return, but if another situation comes out in a similar fashion, you’d rather be prepared.

They have to know, even if it’s just names.

At least then they won’t be led into the dark if you’re taken away again and will have a better chance at suspecting who.

When you’re good enough to stand on your feet and when Mingyu stops becoming so overbearing, the first place you visit is The Academy where Sunoo stays in his dorm alone, isolated from the rest.

“What’re you doing not playing with your friends?” His head perks up when he hears your familiar voice, that look of dread and loneliness brightened up if even for a moment. You see the way his eyes light up, widening, his feet meeting the floor when he jumps down from his bed, quick on his knees with a head lowered down to the floor before anyone can tell him anything.

You freeze in the moment, silent, before signaling to Yeong to have the door closed so that only you and Mingyu remain.

Your second in command walks off to the side, leaning against the wall to give you space when you approach the little boy whose shoulder trembles when lowered before you.

“Sunoo,” you call, and he flinches a little. “It is during times like this you should surround yourself with your peers, otherwise—”

“I’m sorry,” he cuts you off and you simply stand there again, not approaching any further.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Yuna, age thirteen, tears rolled down her working eyes when you ran to room 157. “I just…I just want to make it all better.” Apologizing because she was incompetent.

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu, age twenty-six, uttered the only words he could find when you told him one could not break a broken person. “I want to save you.” But he can’t.

“I’m sorry.” Yeonjun, age ten, handing you a cup of rose water, his jaws clenched after your father’s Reapers left the room. “It’s tea,” he says. “It isn’t poisoned,” he says. And you drink it.

“I’m sorry.” Dasom, age twenty-four, blood on her face, blood on her hands, knelt before you with a head lowered, shoulders trembling. “I won’t make the same mistake as he did.” Killed the first Reaper that almost spilled your secrets.

“I’m sorry.” Nakyum, age seventeen, accepts his fate with a smile, eyes only looking your way with the rest of your Reapers surrounding him. The first to lose control, the first unable to restrain himself. “I hope in my next life, I can run to your side without having to hold myself back. May we meet again…in that life.” Dead.

Someone apologizes when they can do nothing. Someone apologizes when they’ve done something. In the end, fate will always pull the people around you into the hell you’ve been born into. No matter how much you push them away to escape it, to live the life they so deserve, they remain still and stubborn, vowing to always stay by your side no matter what.

Yuna lost her eyes. Nakyum lost his life.

No one else.

No one else.

You sit on the floor in front of Sunoo, crossing your legs together and close your eyes. You take in a deep breath, in and out, head tilted to the sky as if sending a prayer to Nakyum, asking him to continue his duties in watching over you all. You’re still selfish to this day, wanting to hold onto the dead.

“You did well,” you say into the silence. “You did well.”

Sunoo shakes his head, still unable to look you in the eyes. Perhaps feeling unworthy to do so. “You almost died.”

“But I didn’t,” you affirm and you see the way his hands ball into fists, turning knuckle white. “One day, perhaps, you can be like that gentleman that stepped in to take the blade for me. One day you will be strong to protect the ones you care about. But until that day comes, you have to accept the fact that you’re weak. Do not dwell on what could have been, dwell on how you could have done better. You acted well and played your part. Nari wanted you to scream and lose control, she wanted you to beg her to not hurt me, she wanted to watch you fall apart. If you had fallen victim to her play, she would have done worse on me, Sunoo, I know she would have. There are people who exist to make things harder on others. There are people who exist to laugh in the face of tears.”

“Even still—”

“Even still,” you cut him off, repeating those two words with more emphasis, “you are a child. And you cannot expect to do anything more than to stand and watch. Sometimes being a good bystander is all there is to do. Sometimes being a good bystander is all you can do. You protected me, Sunoo, so do not apologize for doing what I had asked you to do. But if you find yourself still dwelling on the fact that you should have done better,” you lift his head from where it sits, resting a cold hand on his face when he tries so hard to keep the tears back for your sake, “get stronger.”

Sunoo bites onto his lower lip, eyes kept wide and unblinking because he knows that if he wishes to not cry, a single blink will allow the rain to fall. “Yes, my lady.”

You pat him on the head and stand from your seat before simply walking off. 

When the door closes behind you, only then does he finally allow himself to cry.

“I’m sorry,” his voice breaks when Mingyu approaches him on the floor, hands rushing to wipe his tears yet they keep on coming. “I’m sorry I…I don’t know how to stop. The lady hates tears and yet—”

“You did well.”

Sunoo shakes his head. “I still showed her my tears. I..I-I’m not supposed to—”

“Boss was born in an environment that forced her to block all her emotions out. Her own father was a manipulating man who is incompetent of feeling. You are seven.” He places a hand on Sunoo’s shoulder and gives him a gentle squeeze. “Boss built you a place under her rule so that children like you do not have to live the life she led. She will forgive you if you cry.”

And so he does.

He cries. 

This time without hands pushing the tears away, this time with snot and hiccups and sounds. And as Mingyu watches the little kid who was forced to hold a weight upon those shoulders, he wishes he could see the same with you.

Crying.

And not succumbing to the silence.

.

.

.

“Should you be walking on your feet so casually like that?”

One question still remains. One question that has you questioning everything else.

Why the hell does Namjoon seem so cool about everything?

I mean you didn’t provoke him any further and made jabs at him but why are the two of you okay enough to send letters to each other regarding the Viper situation? Isn’t he supposed to be mad at you for Jungwon? And the fact that you got Yoongi hurt to the point of him only being able to see through one eye now? Namjoon’s protective when it comes to his loved ones getting hurt so why aren’t you being yelled at? And why was he cool enough to send you to their private hospital and even had doctors on standby? You didn’t use them but that’s beside the point.

Is it because you were on the verge of death? But Namjoon never cared about that when it came to his enemies.

You look over at Yoongi not so discreetly, a tilt in your head, confusion plastered on your face, and in his own confusion as to why you turned to him in the first place, he simply gives you no response.

So you turn back to Namjoon, shrugging at his question. “It’s been over a month, I wouldn’t let just anyone take me down like that.”

He hums, agreeing, and you take another look at Yoongi who doesn’t avoid eye contact. The last time you saw him he was all bloody, blood dripping past the wet cloth you placed over his eye. The last time was when you were in that alleyway, telling him to not let anyone touch you.

He kept his promise, according to Mingyu, and perhaps that was his showing of apology for what he’d done to you all those years ago. You wouldn’t deem Yoongi as someone to have ignored the little trust you had put in him.

“I have a question, Kim Namjoon.” You turn to the man in charge. “Did what happened the last time we met each other fly past your head? Because it awfully feels as if it’s not affecting you one bit. Unless this is all just a ploy to lure me in and kill me afterwards.”

He raises a brow. “You think I like playing things out in the long run?”

Right. When it comes to Namjoon, whatever he wants, whoever he wants dead, they usually die within a week of his declaration. He doesn’t do the waiting game.

“Then why am I still alive?” You ask so casually it’s as if you were speaking of the weather. “Are you a fool?”

“I’m not a fool, Y/N, and that’s precisely why I will not kill you, whether you try to force my hands or not.” He gives you a pointed stare and you look away, arms crossing over your chest. Namjoon continues under your silence. “Did you know that in a moment of weakness, you let your mask fall? Did you really think I’d continue believing you so easily? After that act you played and went into madness?”

You ball your hand into a fist, ready to cut back. “I—”

“You didn’t kill Jungwon, but you know exactly who did it.” Those eyes of his, when you look at them, dares for you to refute the claim he just made and it brings a shiver down your spine. He’s never been one to play around, rarely cracks jokes, is always aloof, and has that resting glare on his face. Perhaps you shouldn’t have chanted those words so much you brought yourself into madness.

It was your fault your mask fell.

“And until you’re willing to tell me, I won’t accept your deal in wanting to cut Bangtan off your allied forces.”

You frown at his proposition, confused. “Wha—”

“You need me, Y/N,” he cuts you off, getting straight to the point and you sit there, simply staring with a dumbfounded expression. “I have more power and influence than the Reapers do. I have ways to get dirt over anyone and I have connections. That’s why you approached me in the first place; because you needed to use my power. I will continue to give you that. I’ll allow you to use me. And when you’re done using me, you can throw me out after giving me the truth to who killed Jungwon.”

Seokjin, who had stood beside Yoongi this whole time, slides a paper over to you and when you look at it, you realize it’s a contract. A new one.

You only have to glance at it for a brief moment to understand the words that are written there. “You’re giving me quite the advantage, Namjoon.”

Total control to be able to use him whenever, as long as you’re able to provide him information on his brother’s death once you are done with him. In translation: he was allowing you to treat him as a pawn.

“You know all I want is the truth about my brother, and you’re the only one who can provide me with that.”

The last person to have seen Kim Jungwon. The only person besides Namjoon to have been close to him.

You raise a brow his way, suspicious. “All for some information, you’re willing to become my pawn.”

“You believed I had treated you as such all those years ago, would it not be fair?”

He doesn’t say it straight out but you know just what he’s trying to imply. You were once a pawn in the chess game he played with your father, used as a leverage, and free to ask anything of you. And being the sort of person that you were all those years ago, you could never say no to what Namjoon asked of you. Three years passed, he grew tired of you, and discarded you to be eaten up by the enemy.

This is, in unspoken words, his apology.

You take the pen from the table to scribble out your signature before standing up to walk out without another word.

Though you pause right before you can open the door, turn a step around to address Yoongi, giving him a small bow. “Thank you.” And walk out.

Yoongi’s way of apology meant a lot more. You don’t want some discreet way of apology, you don’t want to play fire with fire even though that had been your intention from the very beginning. But even then, it was never your intention to take revenge back on Namjoon just to use him as a pawn.

It’s not what you want.

You want him begging on his knees the way you had done. You want him begging you for forgiveness and actually mean it.

You can accept Yoongi’s apology. You won’t forgive him yet but you can accept it. He stepped up when you were on the verge of death, stood in front of a blade, and had his own eye blinded. He then picked both you and Sunoo up in his arms and took revenge back on the Vipers, successfully killing them off in one go. And with the little trust you gave him in your moment of weakness, he kept his word and warded off anyone that tried to get close to you.

The Reapers were contacted, rushed to your side, and took care of you.

In the beginning, Yoongi was just a victim who had to fall prey into making a decision he hadn’t wanted to make.

Kim Namjoon’s taking a step but he’s still lightyears away from forgiveness.

Feelings cannot be forced, feelings are something you will not blame him for, but because he lied to you and betrayed your trust, you know you won’t let him off easily.