#that’s a seperate essay
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Sooo I’ve been dabbling in another cool horror media, mouthwashing goes so hard it’s so good
Super cool how they frame this game with you playing the villain and slowly figuring out that it was you all along. Super disturbing that they started drinking mouthwash for lack of booze.
I highly recommend checking it out, just be warned of very intense subject matter and body horror/gore
#mouthwashing#yall this shit really good I’ve unlocked another brainrot#don’t even get me started on how well and meaningfully this game handles its very dark theme#that’s a seperate essay#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing anya#excluding Jimmy fuck Jimmy#mouthwashing fanart#my art
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“Tolkien wasn’t good at writing women” well explain this
#the fact that he mentions this in two *seperate* essays#just bought NOME from my local bookstore#silmarillion#the silmarillion#tolkien#j.r.r. tolkien#lord of the rings#silm#nature of middle earth#silmposting#tolkienposting#jrr tolkien#lotr#middle earth#tolkien memes#silm memes#lotr memes#numenor#literature#literature memes#bookblr
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when i see things like this i just laugh cause like. babes did we watch the same show
#like. 😭#i find it so amusing when people say thasmin had no chemistry until the end of thirteen’s rub#*run#i actually have an essay about how thirteen refused to look at yaz for so long cause she couldnt bring herself too#plsss 😭#like yeah ofc theyre gonna have more chemistry when they are more alone?? and when they are seperated?? (about the flux) like. what#thasmin#doctor who#dw
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Reading the Sabbat: The Black Hand v5 book, and it is apparently impossible for me not to see the Sabbat through a Queering Vampirism lense with some of the ways they're describing it. It's very obviously not what they're Trying to do, but that's the impression I'm getting anyway.
Like they start by saying the Purpose of the Sabbat is fundamentally to challenge the status quo, right before calling them fundamentally evil/monstrous antagonists and right after describing how scared all the other kindred are of them and how inscrutible they find their motivations. And then they go right into talking about the philosophy of embracing the Beast and fundamentally Cainite traits and inhumanity/monstrosity (what they are and what seperates them from the rest of society, the Other, which in this reading is also Queerness), to the horror of everyone else, and it's considered fundamentally an aspect of self destruction (see: how people act about trans surgeries). Also, treating something otherwise extremely taboo (ex. diablerie) as a "sacrament", like treating what is normally taboo/reviled as divine isn't also incredibly queer. Also alienation from society and difficulty forming connections.
You couldn't create a queer allegory more like catnip to me if you tried, is what I'm saying
#try to convince myself not to write a The Sabbat: Queering Vampirism essay challenge level impossible#vtm#the sabbat#also to be clear im not trying to say that like. in universe they're not doing terrible things#or that these are the Only themes and the only way of interpretting them. but the idea of#embracing and celebrating the Monstrous Self despite opposition from everyone else who's disgusted and terrified by that#and despite it alienating you from the rest of society and resulting in an entirely seperate framework of looking at things#is something that is Inseperable from queerness for me. like i can only say Good For Them tbh#you (the book) are not doing nearly as good a job as presenting them as one dimensional villains#with no coherent or interesting philosophical positions as you seem to think lmao#so I end up interpretting some of the canon as like. heavily biased information often sourced from an ouside perspective#so not like untrue exactly but selective of what it presents and how it's framed. and that way you can#play a little more with interpretation of canon without outright contradicting canon or defanging it#mypost
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Just read your post about Nie Mingjue not understanding Jin Guangyao’s excuses not to throw Xue Yang out of the Jin window. I love your insight!!!
May I ask what, in your opinion, was Lan Xichen’s view on all this? Because he is the peacemaker, he seems to side with jgy always, but also can’t possibly know about the demonic cultivation…
(that’s the post, btw. Don’t know if you’ve made more than one) https://www.tumblr.com/lgbtlunaverse/744152124570697728?source=share
I'd argue that lan xichen doesn't really always side with jin guangyao, and related to this exact incident we can later hear him telling jin guangyao not to "provoke" Nie Mingjue anymore, while assuring him that things with da-ge are fine. He's a peacemaker, like you said. His ideal solution is getting everyone to just be nice to each other. And because Nie Mingjue is the one most outwardly angry, his first instinct in any fight is to get him to calm down so they can have a civil discussion or, even better, just drop the subject and pretend it never happened. Since jin guangyao is usually also eager to drop the subject, this means they end up agreeing. But it's more of a sign that their methods of conflict resolution are compatible than a sign that they always agree. (There are certainly times lxc genuinely agrees with jgy and disagrees with nmj! But i'd say it's not as universal as fandom makes it seem)
Indeed, since Xichen also doesn't know about the demonic cultivation, I kind of believe Xichen sort of agrees with Nie Mingjue that Jin Guangyao could get away with killing xue yang– he just thinks da-ge's way is the wrong way to go about asking that of him– because as far as xichen is concerned, jin guangyao actually was planning on killing Xue Yang!
Remember, after the fight, jgy tells nmj that he'll bring him xue yang's head. To Xichen, this is a satisfying solution, because it gets da-ge what he wants so he can calm down, which is always xichen's goal. If he believed doing this put jgy in serious danger, he might have objected a bit more. But he evidently thinks the risk is minor enough to be worth it for the ultimate sake of peace.
Him stopping nmj is about just that, making sure no one gets killed. And reminding nmj that jgy's family mistreats him, in that light, sounds less like an argument that he can't do it and more of a plea to give him more time to figure things out. (Again, Xichen is always eager to delay or avoid confrontation)
To Xichen, here's what happened: Jin Guangshan refuses to kill xue yang, nmj got really mad at a-yao over that, xichen de-escalated the situation, and a-yao promised to kill xue yang, he just needed time to do so. Yay! Solved! Except then da-ge died. (Yes, jgy killed him, and was never planning on killing xue yang, but xichen didn't know that) And xue yang was freed, but a-yao and he were busy grieving their oldest sworn brother! They kind of had other things going on! And then, some amount of months later, Jin Guangshan died, A-Yao became chief cultivator, and promptly killed xue yang! (He wasn't dead, but xichen didn't know that) Everything worked out in the end, it's only an unfortunate tragedy that da-ge died too soon to see that a-yao really was dedicated to him. 😔
We don't know what his exact reaction was before the nieyao stairs confrontation, but it was probably in the rough shape of xichen very politely asking jgy if he could at least try to convince his dad, and jgy saying he would but he wasn't sure if it'd work. That seems like something they'd do.
#asks#mdzs#mdzs meta#i had a whole essay typed up on how xichen *might* be convinced jgy doesn't need to kill xue yang and-if he did believe that- why he would.#but ultimately didn't include that because– due to later events– i think his most likely view is that it IS possible for jgy to do it.#might make that a seperate post. don't get your hopes up tho#lan xichen#jin guangyao#meng yao#rs: i wish it could've been you
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it fucks me up that like. metal sonic used to have a ton of characterisation and just from his like ten lines in heroes had a ton of complexity and then he just got fucking ignored despite having the potential to easily be the best character in the franchise. like even back in cd his sprites were full of personality! he recreates sonics finger wag before the start of the race! he has his death animation! it’s cute! but it also shows from the start that he's obviously sentient and not a mindless machine. he's cocky and adrenaline-fuelled like sonic, but in a way devoid of any sense of kindness or empathy. and this is expanded upon beautifully in the ova! his characterisation is the absolute highlight of that movie and his suicide at the end is an extremely tragic but extremely fitting end to that version of him.
metal sonic's character is one defined by monomaniacal obsession. he is literally designed only to surpass sonic. from creation, he has known and he always has known he exists only in relation to sonic. he is designed after him, his personality is modelled on him, and he is programmed to view defeating him as his only worth. he's the ultimate character to rival sonic, because that’s all he exists for, in universe. he cannot conceive of an existence that is not devoted to destroying him. this is established as a character trait as early as the ova, and it’s one that’ll be expanded upon as the series progresses.
the ova explores the tragedy of that, but heroes, metal sonic's grand return after cd (after numerous really fucking cool appearances in spin-offs and being a major unlockable in sonic adventure dx bc he is cool and the best sonic character and I have no bias), explores the horror. in the ova, he allows himself to burn to spare sonic, but what if he doesn’t learn compassion and empathy? what if he's still the same cruel, pointlessly violent metal in cd? the metal sonic of the games would not sacrifice himself for sonic's sake. he wants nothing more than to defeat him. he despises him, yet in a way he also wants to be him. sonic is everything he cannot be. both in the sense that he beats him, again and again, but in that he has free will, in that he has friends, in that he has a life.
and, in his most sonic-like moment, metal sonic rebels against his programming.
but this metal sonic is not one that has learnt kindness, like the ova metal. he is angry. he knows nothing but destruction because he is destruction. and he never, ever gives up. he wants to prove to himself that he can defeat sonic, that it was his creator holding him back. that he can be better than eggman, that he can be better than sonic. that he can be sonic. that he is sonic. that the other hedgehog calling himself sonic is merely a fake.
metal sonic, in sonic heroes, is delusional. and not in the sense of “scary insane person woah!” ableist nonsense, he's genuinely, deeply lost in the grasp of a delusion. metal sonic's existence is one that will inevitably lead to severe mental illness. he's stuck in a cycle where he feels nothing but pain and can never achieve what he wants. the concept of metal sonic in heroes is terrifying in his rage, but even more horrific is the idea of being him. despite his arrogance, metal sonic is in pain, and his response to that is to lash out violently. and also to become god.
metal sonic upgrades himself to the point of godhood. he is angry, and he is scared, and he gives that away himself. he states he’s no longer afraid of anything after the upgrades- which leaves some pretty fucking depressing hints as to metal sonic's general mental state before heroes. and this drives him to the point of becoming an almost incomprehensibly powerful being. like canonically heroes metal sonic is one of the strongest beings in the series, he can copy the data and abilities of incredibly powerful beings permanently. he's at least got the strength of shadow and chaos combined which is fucking terrifying. and he loses.
he loses, because what he wants is not something he can get with outmatching sonic in speed and strength. what he deeply desires, though he cannot express it, is something else. personhood. metal sonic desperately asks why he cannot win, and sonic's response is. admittedly the very cheesy title drop of “because we're sonic heroes” but cheese aside, that ultimately sums up why metal sonic could not succeed. metal sonic does not have friends. he doesn’t have freedom or happiness or any sort of sense of self. he cannot ever truly achieve his goals, because to destroy sonic and become him are mutually incompatible. he's forever driven down a self destructive path, one way or the other. metal sonic's existence is, in and of itself, a tragedy.
and all of this is from thirty fucking minutes of screen time. including gameplay.
metal sonic is very obviously a character who takes heavy inspiration from the terminator franchise. and i fucking love terminator, for one, so that’s awesome. but two, the best terminator film will always be terminator 2 because it's as much an exploration of what it means to be human and the concept of fate as an action horror flick, and metal sonic as a character is also at his best when he's used to explore similar themes. he's a character chained to a fate he cannot change, a character so desperate for personhood that can never achieve it, and it’s what makes him so terrifying and intimidating. he's not just a mindless machine, nor coldly logical- he's desperate and has nothing to lose. he's such a formidable foe because he takes risks that are rash and irrational because he's so driven to the depths of his psyche he'd do anything to finally succeed. any competently programmed bot wouldn’t risk itself for an infinitesimal advantage, any mindless drone wouldn’t come up with half the shit metal does, but he is both extremely intelligent and suicidally desperate.
and then after heroes he just kinda became a cooler badnik. like, cool things have happened with him in spin-offs, and of all things 06 was originally planned to have continued his story after heroes as a playable character, but that was cut along with. like half the game. but it’s just sad the main series made such a compelling villain and then just went. “okay but what if we never use him again”.
#I wonder how many people who don’t know about sonic lore know that one there was an anime movie in the 90s#and two that ova ended with metal sonic killing himself. in a way that means he's been blatantly inspired by two seperate terminators#also thank you mcyt for letting me write bullshit analysis on the weirdest shit#I hope you enjoyed my essay of character analysis on why metal sonic from the chidlrens video game series sonic the hedgehog#is actually a way better written character than he actually is bc I Like Him and stole his name
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Thinking about how in The Hunger Games the management team was dressing and presenting Katniss and Peeta as a set from the start, even before Peeta told anyone he was in love with Katniss and that became then going strategy. It becomes clear throughout the series that all of them were or become active in the rebellion so it seems clear to me that the intention was just to be subversive. ‘Just the perfect touch of rebellion’ as Haymitch says.
And then of course it all helps them sell the love story.The prep teams would have probably mentioned how Katniss and Peeta reassured each other after the opening ceremonies, how Katniss kissed Peeta on the cheek. Any of the trainers could have spoken about how they were always together for all three days of instruction. There were almost certainly guards watching the two of them on the roof, talking to each other, Peeta giving Katniss his jacket when she’s cold. And there’s no way none of their classmates noticed the two of them watching each other in school through the years. Hell Peetas whole family probably knew about his crush, we know they all knew Katniss.
‘Peeta must have been playing that angle all along’ ‘mostly Peeta really, there’s no question he’s carrying this romance thing on his shoulders.’ Katniss just didn’t get to see all the interviews they did that were telling her side of the love story.
#mine#hunger games meta#the hunger games#literature#I feel like I’m making two seperate points here but fuck it this isn’t an essay they’re going in one single post#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#haymitch abernathy#anyway you can’t really tell but this is part of my ‘Effie was a rebel’ propaganda#I forgot about how Haymitch could have talked about how the both of them IMMEDIATELY started bragging about each other accomplishments#completely normal behavior for two people who don’t feel any particular way about each other and are definitely totally strangers#nailed it you guys!!!
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I saw this in a Yakuza vines vid and HAD to draw this
(read right to left)
#i originally had a whole essay in the notes about how nishiki murdering dojima doesnt make him evil#but then i realised that prob belongs in a seperate post on main#holy shit this took me longer than i thought apparently almost 2 and a half hours#nishikiyama akira#yakuza#digital art#yakuza fanart#rgg#sketch#kiryu kazuma#i still struggle to draw him#sawamura yumi#dojima sohei#i also played YK1 immediately after Y0 so I already still wanted to murder Dojima on Majima and Makoto's behalf so I might be biased lol#also idk how to draw guns and i cant be bothered to learn sorry XD
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I think I need to start coming up with my own unhinged and unverifiable history takes. Anyway, Stephen Gerard founded Gerard college because after he bought the first bank of the united states he spent the rest of his life haunted by the ghost of Alexander Hamilton
#this statement implies like 3 seperate things that are fundamentally untrue but fuck it#There's an unfinished Thomas Jefferson & The University of Virginia essay sitting in my drafts but this will do for now#important context: gerard college was (and is) a boarding school for orphans#obligatory 'oh look Im still alive' after not posting anything for a millennium#I've been working off and on again on this one drawing for like two weeks so look out for that I guess
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ffuuCCKK my hyperfixations are hyperfixating again and it's that time where I get violently "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY INTERESTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" again
This is literally me right now, had to quickly whip out MSPaint to visualize my crippling feelings
I swear the next time one of my interests is brought up I'm making a youtube video essay script about it I need to get it out before I [REDACTED]
#y'ever get so violently autistic about your interests#like I'm gonna scream and climb the walls like a feral cat if I can't rant to you for the next 5 1/2 hours abut the Markiplier timeline#there is no need for that man to have made an edgy internet joke into an ENTIRE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE#AND NOW HE'S ONE UPPING EVERYONE BY MAKING A WHOLE ASS FAN MOVIE#Eddsworld should be ashamed of itself because this bastard pulled an entire professionally done movie out of his ass#while we sit here with a barely finished fan movie#no hate to the people who worked on it and put their heart and soul into it#animation is hard#but FUCKKK HE TOTALLY JUST SHIT IN OUR CHEERIOS#first the FNaF movie NOW THIS#He knows what he's doing#jay talk#fuck talk jay rants in the tags cause he treats it as a P.S.#not even P.S.#a whole seperate paragraph for a college style essay#I'm not kidding about the "making my autism + ADHD (AuDHD? Is that it?) hyperfixations into a YT video essay#I'm already making one about a show that doesn't deserve it
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working on pokemon teams (which. already exceed 6 each but i already dont follow that rule anyway) AND pmdsonas for the isat gang and only just finding out the creator drew each of them w 2 partner pokemon ..
#theyre good picks tho..#OH and they each have canonical favorite pokemon. which should also be considered#im attached to the choices ive made but i did need help w some of them so this is both a blessing and curse#this gives siffrin like..... 10 pokemon tho.......#wait maybe even 11. i forget what their favorite is. i cant remember if they even answered that question actually#this will turn into an essay post when im finished btw. even for siffrins team alone its absolutely ridiculous#isat#pkmn#pmd#their pmd selves will be for a seperate post if i ever get there .. i have siffrin figured out n the rest have at least solid vibes#this is fun i missed this :3
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You like Porky! (I'm sorry it's not about comics but it's just what my mind conjured up because your Looney Tunes art made me follow you. :') )
it doesn’t have to be abt comics!! and yes i love porky soooooo much!!! he’s my second fav looney tunes character ever and those of you who remember and were here for that era, bless you omg
#asks#thankyou for the ask!!#i love porky he’s so funny sillay#my little guy#the everyman#he’s a fun character who can be put into any role#a flexible character but one that doesn’t feel like a DIFFERENT character each time it’s always still porky and i think that’s cool#his pair ups mostly only work with daffy and im telling you they are THE top tier looney tunes pair up of all time throughout all the years#and i will die on that hill#he and daffy are so alike in so many ways and you wouldn’t think that at first unless ur insane like me#their relationship is so so so so so important not just to me but in general#fr i could write a whole essay abt this im not even kidding#porky pig#daffy duck#they are a package duo do not seperate#looney tunes#legally obligated to talk abt daffy when i talk abt porky sorry#my art lol
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just had a simultaneously horrifying and relieving thought. thank god jonghyun was not a western artist. because you just know that if he was, there would be a shitty distasteful melodramatic hollywood biopic about him in about five years, give or take
#thinking about the amy winehouse one here especially because she only passed away in 2011. and they already commodified her suffering#as a shitty shitty movie#I really hope I don’t somehow manifest something terrible here but I seriously doubt it#like I said. thank god he’s not a western musician.#in that sense#it’s fucking trippy to see people completely unrelated/unfamiliar with kpop mention him or reference him when talking about the 27 club#on a similar but kind of seperate note#it’s happened a couple times now when I’ve been watching video essays and whatever and im just like. idk. it feels so bizarre#on one hand im glad he’s being acknowledged as an artist of the same scale and significance as the western artists in the 27 club#on the other hand. it’s depressing to think that this is what the west best knows him for. instead of his talent or passion or#meaningfulness to people with depression and queer people and so on.#like knowing who he was on a deeper level just makes it so.. disappointing. to see him mostly narrowed down to being. a member of the club#anyway. kind of off topic but. just. weird feeling that’s come up now and again#kibumblabs
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i only have two midterm tests but im so unbelievably stressed abt them
#daisy.txt#+ a paper but thats whatever#ones for ecol which has consistently been my hardest class#the other is writing 5 seperate one page essays within an hour#and its on lecture content rather than the readings like HELLO
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Hello. I swear I Exist I just forgot to the past week because Round 1 Of State Testing Woo
#I had to write two essays both in the timespan of like. An hour#time pressure stresses me OUT#but I did them#but they were seperate I swear#My brain is fried and I want to do art but :(#aaasasuuahdbd#simon says#also thinking of making a tsp side account so i can. do art and not bother my friends who arent into tsp but also#this is meant to be my main account for like. art and shit sp#BUT I swear Im still into DBH im just getting consumed by The Narrator
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hm. my brother and his girlfriend now follow me on goodreads. this will not change how i review books
#some of my greatest hits:#ok wow fuck me#AUGH#ok#yea#<those are all seperate reviews#i am not known to write essays abt the books i like#sometimes simply saying holy shit is enough
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