#that you add a small amount of water to the pan before you cover it

[pennyplainknits]

Ok this is a totally normal sauted broccoli recipe except for the fact that it calls for "1/2 clove of garlic, crushed" and like.

Who the hell calls for half a clove of garlic??

What are you supposed to do with the OTHER HALF? Tenderly wrap it in tinfoil and save it for later?? Like what the hell?

Are we in some kind of global garlic shortage. I know cost of living etc etc but I think we can push the boat out for a whole clove of garlic.

[ms-demeanor]

Huh. Realized I made a soup from leftovers that would make a pretty decent beginner soup.

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie Soup

The goal of this soup is to be (relatively) quick and easy to prepare and to make use out of leftover poultry. It relies pretty heavily on pre-made ingredients (though you can make those ingredients yourself if you want to)

Ingredients:

Pre-cooked turkey or chicken (one large turkey breast, two medium chicken breasts). You can use leftovers, a grocery store rotisserie chicken, or, optionally, uncooked frozen chicken breasts or thighs. The poultry should not be breaded and the skin should be removed; if you are using uncooked frozen poultry you may want to taste more carefully and make sure to season sufficiently.

64oz poultry or vegetable stock (I used the stock I made out of turkey carcasses and my stock bags of kitchen trimmings from the freezer, but store bought is fine) (if you do not want to or cannot use stock, you can also just use water but you will likely have to add more spices and I would recommend adding one extra carrot and one extra onion)

3tbsp Cooking oil (can be olive oil or canola oil or butter - use what you've got handy and what tastes good to you, you don't have to buy something special for this)

1 cup of frozen peas

2 large carrots coarsely chopped

2 large onions coarsely chopped

3 tbsp cooking starch (most people use corn starch, I use potato starch because of food allergies. Any neutrally flavored starch is fine, but do not use flour).

1/2 cup milk/half and half/cream (you can use a combination or just one of these, it depends on what's in your kitchen and what taste you prefer)

Poultry seasoning (pre-made mix; alternately you can add sage, rosemary, and marjoram to taste. I added poultry seasoning then added extra sage and rosemary)

Salt

Black pepper

Paprika

Garlic powder

3 Bay Leaves

1tsp dried Parsley

Tools:

4-6 quart stock pot with a close-fitting lid

Chef's knife (for chopping vegetables and poultry)

Cutting board

Large cooking spoon

Small bowl

Fork or small whisk

Before you cook:

Read the entire recipe and check that you have all the tools and ingredients listed in your kitchen and ready for use.

Prep your kitchen - make sure there's room in the trash can, that the sink is clear of dishes, and that there is a burner on the stove clear for your pot. Designate a space close to the stove as your working area and set your cutting board there so you can easily transfer from your cutting board to the pot.

Gather your ingredients - make sure that you've got all the tools and ingredients listed. If you want to, you can take the time to measure out everything at this stage and have it ready to go in the pot.

Prep your ingredients - wash and chop your carrots, peel and chop your onions. Remove the skin from your poultry (if frozen, set the poultry aside, you will do something slightly different) and chop into bite-sized pieces.

Cooking Instructions:

Turn the heat on your stove to medium and warm the oil up in the bottom of the pan. Once it is shimmering and flowing easily, add the chopped carrots and onions to the pan.

Add a small amount of each of your seasonings to the pot - no more than half a teaspoon of each at this stage - and stir them in with the vegetables.

Stirring continuously, heat the vegetables and spices until the onions are softened and translucent.

If you are using pre-cooked poultry, add it to the pot and stir it in with the vegetables and spices (if you are using raw frozen poultry, don't add it to the pot yet). Add in the frozen peas at this point.

Add your broth or stock to the pot and stir, using your spoon to scrape the bottom of the pot to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom. Add the bay leaves to your pot. Increase the heat to high and watch the pot until it comes to a boil.

If you are using raw frozen poultry, NOW add the frozen meat (whole breasts or thighs still frozen) to the pot and bring to a boil. For raw frozen poultry ONLY keep the pot covered at a boil for thirty minutes, watching to make sure it doesn't boil over. Once the poultry has cooked for thirty minutes, use your spoon to remove the pieces from the pot and set them on your cutting board, then cut them into bite-sized pieces. Instructions are the same regardless of what meat you're using after this step.

Once the previous steps are finished, reduce the heat to a low simmer and cover the pot. Let simmer for half an hour.

Taste the soup and add spices and seasonings as needed. You will probably want to add more salt first, half a teaspoon at a time. Add in your salt then stir and simmer for five minutes before tasting again. Repeat as needed, adding spices in small amounts to adjust the flavor as you go.

Once the flavor is close to right, mix the milk and the starch in a small bowl, whisking thoroughly to ensure that there are no lumps. Gradually add the starch slurry to the soup a few tablespoons at a time. Stir between increments, checking for thickness. When the soup is at the desired thickness (should be quite thick, like what you would find inside of a pot pie) taste test the soup and adjust spices as needed.

Add parsley and do a final taste test, simmer for five minutes before serving.

If you want, you can let the soup cool and fill a pre-made pie crust with it (top and bottom crust, making sure to leave holes for venting) then bake in a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven for 40 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

For the slurry, I like to use 2:1 liquid to starch when mixing an use half and half for the slurry but add a couple of tablespoons of heavy cream after the soup has started to thicken; this is totally optional and if you just go based on what's in the recipe you should be fine.

How to make homemade stock, if you want to:

as you cook over the course of several weeks, gather things like onion tops, the ends of tomatoes, wilty celery, and whatever other safe-to-eat but unpleasant vegetable trimmings you've got and add them to a 1-gallon freezer bag.

Keep the bag in the freezer and add stuff until the bag is full. Once it's full, or if you happen to have a chicken or turkey carcass and a mostly-full bag, add the frozen trimmings and any meat trimmings or carcasses you have to a large stock pot (at least a two gallon pot).

Add in a few cloves of garlic and a few bay leaves

Add in water until the vegetables and trimmings are completely covered.

Bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and let simmer for a minimum of two hours.

Turn off the heat and let cool

Spoon or strain out the solids - one way to do this is to pour from the pot into a collander and into another large pot. You can also use a slotted spoon or a strainer or ladle out the liquid from the stock pot, but you want to discard the solids and keep the liquids.

Skim excess or undesired fat off of the stock and discard.

Ladle or pour the stock into containers for storage. I like to use cleaned salsa jars and leave about 20% of the space in the jar free, then freeze the stock in jars so I can use it whenever I want to.

If you aren't freezing the stock, use it within two weeks.

[dearlymrme]

It's The Small Things (Papa Emeritus x Reader)

Summary: The little things they do to show they love you.

Primo

It feels divine. Laying with your back pressed to Primo's chest and a book in your hands, while Primo plays with your hair. The room smells of lavender that's been freshly brought in from the garden and potted in the corner where the window light can keep it healthy. It also is thick from his fingers as he slides in a small amount of homemade oil into your locks.

"Mia stella, you've been on that page for the past twelve minutes." He chuckles, deep from his chest, you can feel the vibrations against your back. He's right, though. You've gotten lost in the warmth of his body. You've since lost track of what was going on in your book. Primo then places a kiss on your head and skirting his nails gently against your scalp.

You give a nearly pornographic moan at the feeling. His scratching sends pleasurable jitters down your back and causes you to erupt into a shake.

Primo's hands pause, and you flush embarrassingly at the sudden tightness in your core.

"Stella…" A teasing kind of joy was in his voice. "Did I just make you shudder?" You whine and cover your face with the book.

"Shut up."

"From just this?" He does it again, and an equally powerful tremor runs through your body. Another soft moan falling from your lips that borders on whine.

"Please ignore."

"Now, I’ve pulled your hair before, but I’ve never gotten you to shudder like this." Your whimper as he tilts your head back. You glance at him over the book and your lashes to see him with a soft smile on his face.

"I'm still learning new things about you, stella."

Secondo

You are jerked out of white noise by a hot and wet fabric sliding over the inside of your legs. You ankle kicks out and bumps into Secondo's calve as he sits beside you and runs the hot rag at the apex of your thighs, cleaning up the sticky wetness left behind by your coupling.

You passed out.

"Awake now, mia amata?" You grumble softly in response and smile as your lover places a soft kiss to your collarbone, gently over the marks he had left behind.

"Sorry." You apologize and earn a deep chuckle from the man as he places another kiss, this time closer to the junction of your neck where you hiss from contact.

"Ah. I have something for that." He says and retreats. You hear a cap being popped and glance at his hand to see a small tube with a green cap. "And don't apologize. You flatter me. It's good to know I can still fuck you unconcious."

The contents are clear, more like a jelly, and cold when he slathering it on the sore spot. It smells medicinal but not overly strong.

"What's that?" You ask him.

"Bruise cream. I know I can be a little rough. This'll help." He says and gently applies the medicine. You tilt your head to the side to give him better access.

"There's something on the table beside you, too." He says, and you glance over to see a plate of your favorite fruit and a glass of iced water.

It's not a new thing for him to take such good care of you after a heavy bout, but it never fails to bring a soft smile to your face. Who doesn't like being spoiled?

"All this for little ol' me?" You joke as he tends to your injures. He picks up one of your hands and lays a kiss at your pulse.

"This and more. Just ask."

Terzo

The kitchen smells like tomato and garlic. You hover over Terzo shoulder as he stirs the red paste in the sauce pan and hums a little under his breath.

“You want to keep stiring it until it thickens up just a little bit. The heat will evaporate most of the water in the sauce.” You nod at his sage advise and go back to stiring the noodles, the water a starchy pale yellow and you can’t tell if that’s bcause of the noodles themselves or because of the butter he told you to you add to them.

“I tried making the sauce like you do, but I can never get it as sweet as yours.” You said to him with a pout. It’s true you have tried making his favorite just like he does as a surprise for him after work, but after your first batch, which you burnt, you still can't get everything right.

He walked in on you chanting ritualistic curses at the burnt remains and undercooked noodles, and laughed before rolling up his sleeves and taking the pan from you.

You may not have been able to surprise him with spaghetti, but he seemed all the more happy to make it with you

This time, you have a fifteen minute timer on the stove to help you keep track of just how long the noodles need to cook as he handled the sauce making.

“You want to know my secret?” He asks with a smile, and you raise a brow.

“You have a secret?”

“Si.” He reaches up into the coffee cabient and pulls out the sugar tin.

“You do not.” Your mouth drops open as he adds a small spoon of brown sugar to the sauce and stirs it in.

“I do too.” He snickers. “Helps the acidicy of the tomato’s. Is what I tell myself, but really, you know I have a sweet tooth.” He then leans over to you and places a kiss on your head.

"Terzo. Italians everywhere would scream in rage if they knew this."

He chuckles and hands the spoon to you to taste.

"So I piss off an Italian or two, what are they going to do, shake a sauce spoon at me?" You take a taste and make a frustrated face. It's good, dammit.

“Though if we’re being honest, I think getting to cook with you would make it sweet enough to eat already.”

You blush and lean up to press a kiss to his lips and then another and another.

The timer nearly goes forgotten as you get distracted in each other's embrace.

Copia

"Winner gets anything they want." Copia bargain, and you stare with gummy wet eyes at the Joycon he's offering. You sniffle and rub at the snot, coming down your nose. You're done crying. Now you just need cheering up.

"Come now. I promise it'll help you feel better. Take your mind away from all the bad that's happened today. You love playing video games." You do. A hobby both you and him share. Even though he is more of a retro fan, when you showed him the colorful smooth graphics of the Switch, he was instantly enamored.

He still hasn't mastered the analog stick yet, but that doesn't stop him from playing and enjoying himself with you.

"We can play your favorite tracks. They could even be all Rainbow Roads, and I'll still play them." You sniffle again and wipe your cheeks of the leftover trail of tears.

"Winner gets anything they want?"

"Anything."

Four tracks later, you're laying in his lap with his arms wrapped around you and lips giving angel kisses to the crown of your head. He runs his sharp but gentle nails down your back as you bury your face in his neck. Inhaling the smell of his soap and cologne as you all but melt against him.

"You know you don't have to beat me at a game to ask for snuggles, si?" You nod and hum an affirmation against his skin.

"I know. But you were right. This was fun."

"Feeling a little better?"

"Yeah." You are, but now you were curious.

"What would you have asked for?" Copia taps the back of your neck to get your attention, and you remove yourself from the crook of his shoulder. You're granted a soft kiss on the mouth and moan as he deepens it just enough to force a sigh after.

He smiles at you, eyes twinkling with love.

"The same thing."

[copperbadge]

airmidcelt

I realllllly want to try making bread, do you have a yeast bread recipe rec for a beginner? I have a stand mixer that I want to use.

I have many recipes! I’m throwing a handful behind the cut. I’m including Beer Bread, Hokkaido “Milk” Bread, and King Arthur Bagels. 

I will say that I’ve yet to have a bad recipe from the King Arthur website, so if you’re looking for bread recipes that’s a great resource, and any recipe that asks you to knead bread for any length of time will work in a stand mixer -- generally, you should stir the ingredients by hand until reasonably incorporated, then attach the dough hook and knead.

A note -- using bread flour instead of all-purpose really does make a difference in the quality of the bread. All-purpose is fine, but you’ll get a better and more consistent product with bread flour. I also add King Arthur’s “Bread and Cake Improver” to make for a fluffier crumb and softer crust.

Beer Bread

adapted from https://www.agardenforthehouse.com/rustic-beer-bread-hand-kneaded/

4 cups (555 grams) bread flour

2 teaspoons (7 grams) instant yeast

2 teaspoons (12 grams) salt

12 ounces (341 ml) beer of your choice at room temperature (uh maybe stay away from pale ales, they get real skunky)

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

Now, I was baking with Off-Colour’s beer, which comes in 16oz cans, so if you have a 16oz can of beer, the amounts are:

694g Bread Flour

2 1/2 tsp yeast

2 1/2 tsp (16g) salt

16oz beer

1 1/4 tbsp olive oil

If you do this larger recipe, it’s best to make two loaves, or one loaf and one batch of rolls.

Stir together the flour, yeast, and salt in the mixer’s bowl and make a well in the middle. Add the beer and olive oil, and stir until a stiff, shaggy dough develops. Knead for 10 minutes (I use a dough hook in the stand mixer on low to medium speed, works fine).

Transfer the dough to a large greased bowl, flip to grease its other side, and then cover the bowl with clingfilm or a damp towel. Let the dough rise in a warm location until doubled in volume -- 90 minutes to 2 hours.

When the dough has doubled in volume, punch it down, pat it out, and form it into a tight ball. Pinch the seam to seal it. Then place the ball seam side down in a greased bowl. Cover and let rise in a warm spot until doubled in volume -- usually 30 to 45 minutes.

While the dough is rising, place a heavy, oven-proof pot (covered with its lid) on the lower-third level of the oven. Preheat the oven to 450°F. Generally people will use cast-iron dutch ovens for this, but I’ve also used an aluminum dutch oven, which is quite light and doesn’t hold as much heat; it still works fine. This dough is very versatile and will also do fine in a loaf pan without a cover, just keep an eye on the browning.  

When the dough is ready, remove the pot from the oven. Flip the dough into the pot, its seam side now facing up. Cover the pot with its lid, and return it to the oven.

Bake for 30 minutes. Uncover the pot, lower the oven temperature to 400°F, and bake until the crust browns -- 10-15 minutes. Transfer the bread to a wire rack. Cool completely before slicing.

Hokkaido Milk (Tangzhong) Bread

This is a softer, fluffier bread, more like store-bought. It has one or two extra steps but is still a pretty versatile, low-skill dough. 

Tang: 

1/4 cup water

1/4 cup milk

3 tbsp flour

1 large egg, room temp

1/2 cup cold milk

Dough: 

2 2/3 cups flour (390g)

1/4 cup sugar (35g)

2 tbsp dry milk powder, optional (15g)

1 tsp salt

2 1/4 tsp yeast

4 tbsp unsalted butter, softened

In a small saucepan off heat, whisk together the first three Tang ingredients. Heat over medium heat, whisking constantly, until mixture thickens and streaks from the whisk do not disappear. Remove from heat and pour in the remaining cold milk. Whisk to combine. Add the egg and whisk to combine.

Mix together all of the dry ingredients (all “dough” ingredients except butter) in a stand mixer bowl. Make a well in the center and pour in the tang, then stir until combined. Attach dough hook and continue to knead with dough hook on low speed. 

After 5 minutes on low speed, the dough will be very sticky, sticking to the sides of the bowl. This means the gluten has started to develop. Add the softened butter in 3 additions, allowing to incorporate fully. Between additions, scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula if needed. The butter will look like it's not being absorbed by the dough but be patient, it will.

Once all the butter is incorporated into the dough, increase the speed to medium (4 or 5) and let dough knead for 6-8 minutes, scraping down the bowl occasionally. The dough is done when it no longer sticks to the sides of the bowl. It will be smooth and should very easily come off from the sides of the bowl.

Remove dough from mixing bowl and shape into a ball. Return to mixing bowl and cover with cling film/tea towel and let rise until doubled in size (either at room temperature for ~2 hours or overnight ~12-14 hours in fridge).

After dough has proofed, remove covering and gently deflate the dough by scraping down the sides with a spatula. Remove from bowl. You can bake this as a loaf, just shape and put in a greased loaf pan, or divide into 14-16 portions depending on size and shape into balls with floured hands, then place in a greased dish. I use a cast-iron skillet but a casserole dish will work too, or even a cookie sheet. 

Cover with greased clingfilm or foil and let dough rise at room temperature until doubled in size (~up to 2 hours).

Preheat oven to 350F. Brush the top of the bread with egg wash if desired. Bake for 20-30 minutes. If the bread starts to brown too quickly, cover the top with foil paper to prevent bread from burning. Remove from oven and let cool.

And finally for something a little more complicated, the King Arthur “sandwich” bagel recipe: There are more thorough instructions at the KA website. 

King Arthur Bagels

Starter: 

1 cup (120g) King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/16 teaspoon instant yeast

1/3 cup (75g) water, cool

Dough: 

3/4 cup (170g) water, room temperature

2 teaspoons (14g) barley malt syrup or 1 tablespoon (13g) dark brown sugar, packed

3/4 teaspoon instant yeast

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

2 1/2 cups (300g) King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour

Water bath: 

8 cups (1808g) water (I just fill the pan I’m using half-full and don’t bother measuring this) 

2 tablespoons (42g) barley malt syrup or honey (I use brown sugar, works fine)

Knead together starter ingredients until thoroughly combined in a stiff dough (you can use the dough hook but it doesn’t work super well, I usually just stir it until it’s stiff). Cover and rest at room temperature for 4 to 14 hours; it should expand. I do this in the bowl of the stand mixer because why not? 

Add remaining dough ingredients in the order listed, on top of the starter. Knead the stiff dough until it’s supple and elastic, 8-10 minutes with a mixer. Rest, covered, 2 hours.

Divide into eight equal pieces (80g to 85g each; I prefer mini bagels of roughly 40g each). Shape each piece by forming it into a ball, then rolling on an unfloured surface to tighten. Cover the pre-shaped dough and allow it to rest for 10 to 15 minutes.

Line a baking sheet with parchment and lightly grease, or sprinkle the parchment with cornmeal. To shape dough, poke a hole through the center and rotate to expand the hole, forming a ring shape. Place the shaped bagel onto the prepared baking sheet. Cover and let them rest until they feel slightly puffy to the touch, about 30 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 450°F. Combine the water and barley malt syrup or honey in a wide, shallow pot; the water should be at least 1 1/4" deep. Bring the mixture to a boil. Boil the bagels for 60 seconds, then use a dough whisk or slotted spoon to turn the bagels over (I often use chopsticks for this). Boil for another 60 seconds before removing from the water and placing back on the prepared pan. Bake until golden brown, 18 to 22 minutes.

[theprecuresystem]

Pro-curetember Day 24: Baking/Cooking!

Bonjour~! For today's prompt, I thought I'd give us all a lovely Animal Sweets recipe from Kirakira Pretty Cure A La Mode Episode 37, translated into English~. We'll be looking at the Hamster Pumpkin Pudding recipe! It's noted as a two star difficulty out of three, so keep that in mind.

Let's・La・Mazemaze!

What you'll need

For the Pumpkin Pudding:

1 Baby Pumpkin (This one was a palm-sized sweet and fluffy pumpkin, using about 500g of its innards)

2 Tbsp of Brown Sugar

100ml (3/5 Cup) of Milk

1 Medium Egg

15g (1/2 oz.) of melted, unsalted butter.

A little bit of vanilla oil

For the Caramel Sauce:

30g Granulated sugar

1tsp water

1tbsp boiling water

For the Sweet Pumpkin Hamster Decoration (Makes 6-8):

1/4 pumpkin (about 200g or 7oz)

10g (1/3 oz) unsalted butter

2 tbsp brown sugar

A little cinnamon

2 tbsp beaten egg

2 tbsp katakuriko (You can use potato starch)

6-8 almonds

Chocolate Icing Pen

Yellow Icing Pen

For your pre-preparation step, place baking paper on a baking sheet, and preheat your oven to 200 Celcius (or 392 Fahrenheit).

Step One

Wrap the whole baby pumpkin in plastic wrap, and microwave it in a 600W microwave for about 3 minutes. Remove the plastic wrap, cut off the top third, and remove the seeds and pulp with a spoon.

Step Two

Wrap the container and lid you just made in the plastic wrap again. Microwave once more in a 600W microwave for 1-2 minutes. Remove the plastic wrap, and being careful not to tear the skin, hollow out the container and lid. Note that the microwaved pumpkin will be very hot, so be careful when removing it!

Step Three

Put the hollowed-out pumpkin's flesh (that you removed in step 2) into a blender, along with the brown sugar, milk, eggs, and melted butter. If you don't own a blender, mash the pumpkin flesh thoroughly with a fork, then mix in the other ingredients.

Step Four

Beat your mixture from Step Three in a bowl, and add in the vanilla. Strain the mixture through a sieve once, back into a bowl.

Step Five

Place a steaming plate or dish in a pot filled with water (not the amounts included in the recipe). Place a sheet of baking paper on top, then place the Pumpkin Container you made in Step 2 on top of this. Pour in the pudding mixture you made in step 4, and steam for 2 minutes over high heat, then for 20 minutes over very low heat. Allow it to cool in the pot, then place in the refrigerator to chill. Freshly made pudding is very soft, so letting it cool in the pot without moving it is essential! Main Pudding is done!

Step Six

Time for the caramel sauce! Put granulated sugar and water in a saucepan, stir thoroughly, and then place on medium heat. Shake and tilt the pan to dissolve the sugar, as stirring can make the sugar harden and become gritty. Avoid stirring!

Step Seven

Once it has taken on a deep color, has turned fragrant, and is slightly smoking, turn off the heat and add in the boiling water. Be careful, since steam rises! It's safer to use a container with a handle when adding boiling water. Sauce is done!

Step Eight

Time to make the sweet pumpkin! Remove the seeds and pulp from the quarter pumpkin with a spoon, and remove the skin with a knife, before cutting into bite-sized pieces. If you're young, ask a grown-up for help with the knife! Place the pumpkin on a heat-resistant plate, loosely cover with plastic wrap, and heat in a 600W microwave for 4 minutes.

Step Nine

Put the pumpkin you heated in Step Eight into a bowl, and mash with a whisk. While it's still hot, add the butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and half of the beaten eggs, and mix.

Step Ten

Add the katakuriko (or potato starch) to the mixture you made in Step Nine, bring it together with your hands and divide it into 6-8 equal parts. Shape the hamster's body and hands, as well as some small stars, and arrange the paws in front of the hamster's head on a baking sheet, then brush with the remaining beaten egg. If the mixture is still too soft to shape, add more katakuriko (or potato starch) to adjust it.

Step Eleven

Half the almonds to make small ears, and place them on the pumpkin hamster's head that you made in step 10. Bake in a preheated oven at 200 Celsius (or 392 Fahrenheit) for 8 to 10 minutes, then allow to cool. Be careful when removing them from the oven, as they'll be hot!

Step Twelve

Dip a chocolate pen in hot water and cut the tip, and use it to draw the eyes, nose, and mouth of the hamster on the pumpkin hamster. Use the yellow chocolate pen to draw the eyes and mouth of the jack-o-lantern on the pumpkin container. If it's too difficult to write directly on the pumpkin itself, you can write on a baking sheet and place it in the refrigerator to cool before applying.

Step Thirteen

Place the pumpkin hamster on top of the pumpkin pudding, and the pumpkin stars between its paws. Finish by pouring the caramel sauce over the top, and serving while in the pumpkin container on whatever plate you wish.

This was tough to translate, but I hope you all appreciate the thorough and detailed description of the method of making this hamster pumpkin pudding today! It was a lot of work, but it'll be worth it! Let's all make something tasty in the upcoming months, alright? Régale-toi bien!

Procuretember Event by @pro-curetember

[najia-cooks]

[ID: A soup with light broth, barley, carrot, mushroom, bitter gourd, and 'meatballs.' End ID]

苦瓜排骨汤 / Ku Gua Pai Gu Tang (Cantonese bitter melon rib soup)

Bitter melon is a polarizing gourd with a distinctive bitter taste. The cultivar most common in China is light green, about the size and shape of a Western cucumber, with a bumpy surface; it is eaten in stir-fries, soups, and dim sum.

This Cantonese soup features bitter melon in a light, aromatic, savory broth sweetened with red jujube. Ka Gua Pai Gu Tang is usually made with pork bone ribs; this recipe instead makes TVP meatballs flavored with vegetarian oyster sauce, ginger, garlic, and white pepper.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

Serves 4.

Ingredients:

For the soup:

1 bitter melon / 苦瓜 (420g)

3 large or 5 small dried shiitake or wood ear mushrooms

2 carrots, sliced

1/4 cup pearl barley (optional)

1 dried red date / 大枣 / da zao / jujube

1 yellow onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed

2 slices ginger (washed, no need to peel)

Mushroom soaking liquid

Dash of light soy sauce

1 tsp vegetarian pork or beef broth concentrate (or soy sauce)

Water to cover

Green onion, sliced, to garnish

Cantonese pork bone broths tend to be fairly mild. A small amount of vegetarian beef broth concentrate, plus soy sauce for added umami, mimicks this flavor.

For the meatballs:

1 1/4 cup (115g) TVP

1 cup vegetarian pork or beef broth from concentrate (I used Gia vi nau pho instant beef flavor paste)

1/2 Tbsp light soy sauce

1/2 Tbsp vegetarian oyster sauce

1 clove garlic, grated

1/2-inch chunk (5g) ginger, grated

1/2 tsp ground white pepper

2 Tbsp chickpea flour (besan) or rice flour

1 Tbsp tapioca flour

Neutral oil, to fry

Instructions:

1. Soak mushrooms in cool water for several hours, or in warm water for about an hour, until hydrated. Reserve soaking water and slice mushrooms.

2. Prepare the bitter gourd. Scrub the gourd thoroughly. Halve it lengthwise and scoop out the spongey flesh and seeds, leaving some light green flesh and the darker green rind. Slice the gourd widthwise. Soak sliced gourd in saltwater for 20-30 minutes to remove some of its bitterness, then rinse.

3. Heat oil in a large pot on medium. Fry onion for several minutes, until tender and translucent.

4. Fry carrots and mushrooms for a couple minutes. Add water, mushroom soaking liquid, soy sauce, stock concentrate, red date, barley, ginger, and garlic. Raise heat to bring water to a boil, then lower heat to simmer. Simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.

You can dissolve the stock concentrate more easily by whisking it into a ladle or small bowl of hot broth, before adding that broth back into the pot.

5. Add sliced melon and simmer for another 30-40 minutes, until melon is tender.

For the meatballs:

1. Mix all ingredients except TVP and flours in a large bowl. Add TVP and allow to soak for about 10 minutes, until hydrated.

2. Add flours and mix well. Squeeze firmly to form large meatballs and set aside on a plate.

3. Heat about a Tbsp of oil in a large non-stick skillet on medium. Fry meatballs in a single layer, occasionally turning gently (scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon), to brown on all sides.

To serve:

1. Add meatballs to soup immediately before serving. Garnish with green onion, any broken meatballs, mirin, and light soy sauce, if desired.

[smalltowngnoll]

Altador Omelette

A cheese omelette on a potato pancake and topped with a fried egg. YUM!

A rare time in which a description of the food is provided! Hard part is cooking everything at the end at the same time.

Ingredients

1 lb gold yukons (leave the peel, it’s the heathy part)

1 onion

1/2 c flour

1 tsp baking powder

2 tap salt

10 eggs (think 2 for the latkes and 2 per person)

1/2 tsp paprika

1/4 tsp tumeric

1 tsp black or white pepper

4 to 8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded

butter/oil for pan frying

Recipe

If you have a food processor with a grating attachment, it’s your best friend today.

Grate your potatoes. Put them in a bowl of water and allow the starches to seep out. Maybe 5 to 10 minutes. Strain and wring out in a towel. Moisture is your enemy.

Grate or finely chop your onions.

In a large bowl, whisk 2 eggs. Add the flour, baking powder, salt, paprika, turmeric, and pepper. Stir to a paste.

Work in potatoes and onion and coat thoroughly. If the dough is liquidy, add in a little more flour. Keep in mind, you will stir it before putting it in the pan as the dough pools at the bottom.

Beat 1 egg per person or serving in a bowl. This will be your omelettes

Set up your battle station. Important step for this. You will do 3 things at once. You may cook latkes ahead of time, and keep them warm in an oven.

Stir latke mixture and scoop 1/3 c amounts of dough onto a hot griddle or pan with oil. Cook on medium heat, flip when one side is cooked and browned.

In another small pan, hear up a pat of butter on high, pour a little egg mixture into the pan, swirling it. Top with cheese and flip when cooked. Fold into fourths, or make it into scrambled eggs because we really tried here.

In a final pan with a lid, cook eggs over easy, 1 or 2 at a time. Cover sunny-side up.

Assemble your Altador omelette on a plate. Latke, followed by cheese omelette, followed by fried egg.

Shitty Picture

It’s potato, eggs and cheese. What’s not to like? The parts are simple, it’s the assembly that’s hard. Honestly, I think the sunny side egg on top is too much. I only added it because of the description, and this is a fine, filling meal without it.

This is the second one I made, so the egg cooked a little more than I like. The first one devolved into a scrambled mess.

I think in my own interpretation, I would do an egg benedict kind of thing with a latke instead of a English muffin round.

[lee-romee]

apple pie!

i've never made apple pie before, but went foraging up on a backroad out in the country with my sisters for apples & when i asked for top ideas, apple pie was first. took me some planning to figure it out, but i got it! thin, crumbly crust, & super deeply flavourful

it's a bit of a wordier recipe, but i highlighted the items involving the crust in red to make it a bit easier to break apart & follow :)

550g apples, skinned & chopped

lemon juice

100g brown sugar (1/2c)

2tsp cinnamon

1/2tsp allspice

1/2tsp nutmeg

3tb butter

1c oats

32g almond flour (1/3c)

50g white sugar (1/4c)

1/4tsp cinnamon

1/4tsp salt

1/4c butter, cold

2-3tb ice water

skin & chop apples ((i left some skin on, & chopped the apples mostly in slices, but had some small chunks))

add a splash of lemon juice over the apples

add in brown sugar, cinnamon, allspice, & nutmeg, & toss until the apples are coated

add 3tb of butter to a pan and heat over medium-low until melted

add the sugar-spice covered apples to the pan & sautee until the apples are soft --- about 20min ((just let the butter bubble & keep moving the apples around. i started the crust while the apples were cooking & just stirred them every 30sec or so for 5-10sec))

remove the apples from heat once soft enough to pierce with a fork

preheat the oven to 350F

blitz the oats into flour

in a bowl, whisk together the oat flour, almond flour, sugar, cinnamon, & salt

cut in the cold butter & use a fork to combine it with the dry ingredients until the mixture resembles fine crumbs & is starting to come together

add ice cold water in 1tb amounts, just until you can get the dough to stick together

roll dough out flat between 2 pieces of parchment paper to roughly 10" in dameter

remove the top sheet of parchment & turn the dough into a 9" pie crust; remove the other sheet of parchment

press the dough into the pan & prick holes along the bottom

add the sauteed apples into the unbaked pie dough, & turn the edges down over the filling ((preference, really))

sprinkle 1/2tb sugar overtop the exposed filling ((for fun ❤️))

bake at 350F for ~50min

remove & let cool fully before cutting & serving

[tea-with-eleni]

oh right.

if food is too much trouble.

I just.

don't eat.

which is not great.

the solution is to have ingredients for, like, three easy recipes on hand that I know take almost no time, taste good, and contain nutrients.

my current favorites are

lemon zucchini chicken pasta (make a simple sauce by melting about two tbsp of butter with equal quantities flour and letting cook until a blondish hair kinda color, then whisk in your milk and bring nearly to a boil before letting it simmer till THICC. While it's doing that, boil your pasta and brown your zucchini and chicken (not at the same time! also ground chicken is cheap and easy to use here). Once those two are done, combine them in a pan and add some garlic -- powder is fine, I usually use freeze dried. Pour your sauce over the chicken and zucchini and add a small handful of parmesan cheese, about half a lemon's worth of juice, and all a lemon's worth of zest. Stir in the pasta once it's done. )

shwarma bowl (turmeric rice, some kind of meat cooked with shwarma spice blend, tomatoes, optional cucumber, and a drizzle of thinned sour cream with garlic powder and a wedge of lemon for both flavor and garnish)

mushroom pasta (chop up a container of mushrooms of your choice, two green onions separating greens from whites, and about a fist's mass of tomato(s). Cook meat if desired in a skillet with a little oil -- ground turkey is good, chicken is also good. Set meat aside and cook the mushrooms with a little more oil in the same pan used for the meat. Once they're brown, add onion whites and two tbsp of butter, two tbsp of flour. Cook til the butter is meltered and the flour is incorporated. Add milk to cover and maybe a tbsp of cream cheese. If you have it, add about a tbsp of mushroom stock concentrate or use mushroom stock to thin the sauce -- it'll need it -- and a small handful of parmesan cheese and garlic to taste. Cook til it looks like sauce, then add your tomato and pasta and stir to combine. Truffle powder is a good addition, so use it if you got it.)

chicken pot pie is also good but it takes longer. These all, I've timed it, take about half an hour. They contain vegetables in a way I'll actually consume them, and aside from the pasta amounts (you want about 6oz for two servings, 7oz tops or it will not fit in a small-to-medium skillet!), the butter-to-flour and the rice-to-water ratios (you want 2/3 as much rice as water) nothing is very measurement-picky.

so.

my weird brain will not let me stick to any kind of routine for long, which is why I have meal box delivery stuff, but hopefully reminding myself that these are options will ensure I like. actually eat food.

which is apparently something I am kind of bad at doing, especially since I have kind of a weird schedule as part of my new job.

[nbula-rising]

Birria Tacos (Quesabirria) prep time: 15 MINUTES cook time: 4 HOURS 15 MINUTES total time: 4 HOURS 30 MINUTES

Ingredients

Birria Sauce 5 dried ancho chiles 5 dried guajillo chiles 2-3 Chiles de árbol (see note 1) 1 Tbsp oil 1 large onion, peeled and diced 4 large tomatoes, roughly chopped 8 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 2 Tbsp tomato paste 1 inch ginger, peeled and roughly chopped ¼ cup apple cider vinegar 1 cup beef stock 1.5 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 Tbsp dried oregano 1 tsp thyme 2 tsp coriander powder 2 tsp salt 1 tsp pepper 2 cloves, ground into powder

For Stew 3-3.5 lbs chuck roast, cut into large chunks Salt to taste Pepper to taste 2 Tbsp oil 4 cups beef stock

For Tacos 15-20 white or yellow corn tortillas 2 cups shredded Oaxaca or mozzarella cheese ½ white or red onion, diced Bunch of cilantro, chopped Lime wedges, to serve

Instructions

For Birria and Consommé Dry toast and rehydrate the chilis: Cut the stems off and make a slit along the side to open them and discard the seeds. Dry toast them in hot pan for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant (don’t burn them, as they can turn bitter). Put them in a bowl, pour in a cup of hot water, and let it sit for 20 minutes. Sauté the veggies: Heat oil and Sauté the onion, garlic and tomato until softened. Then transfer the veggies to the blender.

Make Birria Sauce: In the blender, blend above veggie mixture along with rehydrated chilis, spices and herbs (oregano, cumin, cinnamon, coriander powder, ground clove, thyme, salt and pepper), apple cider vinegar, ginger, tomato paste, and 1 cup of beef stock. Blend it till the mixture in completely smooth. Prepare and sear the meat: Cut the chuck roast into large chunks and generously season it with salt and pepper. We always like to sear the meat before putting it in the stew, as it adds tons of flavors. Heat the oil in the stew pot (or instant pot on saute mode) and brown the meat on all sides.

Cook the stew:

Stovetop: In a big stew pot, combine the meat with the Birria sauce. Add in 4 cups of beef stock. Cover and cook over low heat on the stovetop for 3 to 4 hours, or until the meat is completely tender. Keep an eye on the stew and stir it every 20 minutes or so, as not to burn the meat at the bottom.

Crock Pot Birria Tacos: Combine meat and sauce in a large crockpot, along with 4 cups of beef stock. Cover and slow cook on low for 9 hours, or until the meat is completely tender.

Instant Pot Birria Tacos: Add in Birria sauce along with remaining 4 cups of beef stock, and give the mixture a quick toss. Cover and seal the lid. Pressure cook on “Manual” for 45 minutes, followed by a quick release.

For Birria Tacos Reserve the fat on top of the stew to fry the tacos. (very important, DO NOT discard it, you would need this fat to make the Birria tacos crispy)

Shred the meat: Taste and adjust the seasonings like salt and pepper. Remove the beef from the consommé and shred with two forks.

Dip Tortillas: Heat a large griddle or skillet over medium heat. Add a small amount of oil to the griddle and swirl it around. Dip a corn tortilla into the reserved fat from Birria and lay it on the hot pan.

Assemble the taco: Quickly top it with shredded cheese along with a spoonful of shredded meat, and a little chopped onion and cilantro. Don’t overfill the tacos. Especially with the cheese, which will ooze out of the tacos while they are frying if you add in too much. You will get the hang of it after frying few.

Fry Tacos: Fold tortilla over, in half. Fry for several minutes, until crispy and browned on both sides, flipping once. Remove to a plate for serving.

Serve: Sprinkle remaining chopped white onion and cilantro on top. Serve with a cup of consommé broth, for dipping.

Notes

Chiles de árbol can be pretty spicy and hot. Use according to your spice tolerance. Start with just 1 if you prefer a milder stew. Alternately, if you prefer spicy, add 3 or more árbol chilis.

You can follow the same recipe with other cuts of beef like shank, short ribs or oxtail. Or, try different meats like goat or lamb. If you have a Blackstone griddle, this is a perfect recipe to cook on it. After a griddle, a good cast iron skillet is a good choice.

To Make Ahead: The Birria meat and stew can be cooked a few days in advance. Refrigerate in an airtight container for 3-4 days. To Freeze: Birria meat and consommé may be frozen in a freezer-safe container for up to 3 months. Thaw completely in the fridge before rewarming, to make tacos next time in the future.

[sweethoneyrose83]

Can you do donuts for Eclipse?

Eclipse's Chocolate-filled Donuts:

Ingredients:

For the dough: - 2 ¼ teaspoons (1 packet) active dry yeast - ½ cup warm water - ½ cup warm milk - ¼ cup granulated sugar - 1 teaspoon salt - 1 egg - 1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened - 3 ½ to 4 cups all-purpose flour

For the filling: - Your favorite chocolate spread or melted chocolate

For frying: - Oil (vegetable or canola) for frying

Instructions: 

1. In a small bowl, dissolve the yeast in warm water and let it sit for 5-10 minutes until frothy.

2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the yeast mixture, warm milk, sugar, salt, egg, softened butter, and 2 cups of flour. Mix well.

3. Gradually add the remaining flour, ½ cup at a time, until a soft dough forms. Knead the dough on a floured surface for about 5-7 minutes until it's smooth and elastic.

4. Place the dough in a greased bowl, cover it, and let it rise in a warm place for about 1-1.5 hours or until it doubles in size.

5. Once the dough has risen, punch it down and roll it out on a floured surface to about ½ inch thickness. Use a round cutter to cut out circles.

6. Place a small amount of chocolate spread or melted chocolate in the center of half of the circles. Top each with another circle and seal the edges well, forming a filled donut.

7. Place the filled donuts on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, cover them, and let them rise again for about 30-45 minutes.

8. Heat oil in a deep pan or fryer to 350°F (175°C). Carefully add the donuts, a few at a time, and fry until golden brown on each side (about 1-2 minutes per side).

9. Remove the donuts from the oil and place them on a paper towel-lined plate to drain excess oil.

10. Allow the donuts to cool slightly before serving. Optionally, dust them with powdered sugar or drizzle with more melted chocolate.

Enjoy!  

[fritesandfries]

Meat Circle 肉圓

肉圓 (or "bawan") is a Taiwanese street food that can be translated as “meat circle.” It’s a savory meat filled meatball encased in a sweet potato starch shell. Traditionally steamed, you can also find them fried and pan fried. It's also a sticky pain in the ass to make sometimes. I worked on this shortcut version, that's a little less of a sticky mess.

A note about Taiwanese chili sauce, the one ingredient that really makes this dish. It has the consistency of ketchup, but it's equally sweet and spicy. Imagine trying to slap together ketchup, sweet chili sauce (the orangish-kind that looks kind of clear) and chili pepper flakes. It's kind of like that.

For about 6 meat circles, around 6 servings:

Filling:

10 ounces pork belly

1/2 c. chopped shiitake mushrooms

2 tbsp. soy sauce

1 5-oz can bamboo shoots

1 tbsp. shallot sauce

1 tsp. five spice powder

1/4 tsp. ground white pepper

Dough:

1/2 c. rice flour

1 1/2 c. sweet potato flour

1/3 c. cold water

1 2/3 c. boiling water

Vegetable or canola oil

Toppings:

Cilantro

Garlic paste

Soy sauce

Taiwanese chili sauce (link here, with a referral code included)

Cut pork into small dices. In a nonstick frying pan, saute the pork until the outside is browned.

Drain the canned bamboo shoots. Chop bamboo shoots into pieces smaller than the pork. Add the remaining ingredients for the filling. Stir in the pork. Refrigerate for at least 1-2 hours.

In a saucepan, add cold water to rice flour; stir until it turns milky. Pour boiling water into the rice milk. Turn the stove on medium-high heat and stir constantly until it becomes pasty. Let it cool completely, the dough should start to look more glue-like. Add sweet potato flour. Stir until well incorporated and smooth.

Grease rice bowls or a similarly sized mini pie-pan with vegetable or canola oil. Spread a layer of the pasty dough, about, 1/2 centimeters thick, and add a small mound of the filling.

Cover the filling with the pasty dough. Steam for 20-30 minutes until it is translucent. Let it cool before removing it from the mold.

Top with desired amount of toppings before serving. My advice is to use a few sprigs of cilantro leaves, 1/2 teaspoon of garlic paste, about 1 tablespoon of soy sauce, and generous amount of chili sauce.

[mealmindset]

Vampire repellents for tis season

Halloween is coming up, which means the vampires are searching for new victims to dig their fangs into. We must protect ourselves with the most effective ingredient, GARLIC. Let us explore some wickedly good recipes and discover how this humble ingredient could be the halloween's hero.

DISCUSSING GARLIC: Garlic is something we use a lot in our daily cooking. When we think about garlic, the strong smell comes to our mind, this is because of the sulfur compounds contained, especially allicin. The scent is released when it's chopped or crushed. apart from the strong scent, Garlic has also been proven to have strong antimicrobial and antiviral properties, promoting health, it was considered magical and a sacred plant for people decades ago, like the times of the plague and ancient times. Now let's dive into the recipes garlic has to offer so we can make our houses VAMPIRE FREE!

1.Garlic Pasta (aglio e olio) An Italian classic, translated as Garlic and oil. It is a simple dish that embodies simplicity. You could make this with a few pantry staples. Start by slicing garlic and chop up parsley. Boil water with oil and salt, boil for 6 minutes, drain, and put aside, cover the pasta to let the steam do the rest of the cooking, this will ensure the true Al Dante pasta. bring a pan to medium heat and add a generous amount of oil, thinly sliced garlic, and pepper flakes. Add in pasta and a bit of the pasta water. Season and mix in parsley. For a Halloween vibe, use black garlic or serve the pasta with charcoal spaghetti for a darker presentation. Add roasted garlic cloves to resemble vampire fangs.

2.Garlic soup As the air gets crisp, there’s nothing better than curling up with a warm bowl of soup—especially one with a powerful bite of garlic! Similar to Česnečka, a soup that can knock out any cold and make you feel warm inside, not to mention the immaculate taste. Sauté butter and one diced onion, add one chopped potato and a BUNCH of sliced garlic, and season with salt, pepper, and turmeric. When everything turns into a beautiful golden color, deglaze with white wine and add chicken stock and bay leaves. then let simmer and some toasty bread cubes and serve! For a Halloween twist, make the bread cubes fang-shaped or use dollops of sour cream or crème fraîche to create ghost shapes on top of the soup, and add black sesame seeds for eyes.

3.Garlic fried rice Do you have some day-old rice in your fridge? It's perfect for garlic fried rice, which is similar to Sinangag and more of a simple dish. Start by mincing a butt load of garlic and frying it in oil till golden brown. soup out the garlic to save for later, and add in rice and soy sauce to the pan until steaming, lastly mix in the garlic bits we made and top off with green onions, and serve! For a Halloween look, drizzle sriracha for a bloody look or add a fried egg and cut the yolk to a ghostly shape with a small knife or a cookie cutter.

4.Garlic focaccia Focaccia is a savory, aromatic flatbread that's perfect for any occasion. In fact, focaccia is already a favorite among bread lovers, when infused with garlic, it becomes downright irresistible. Find a good focaccia recipe, and before throwing it in the oven, roast some garlic by covering it with olive oil and throwing it in the oven, squeeze out the garlic compote on the dough, sprinkle cheese, fold the dough in half, and drizzle olive oil. decorate focaccia with fried garlic bits and it look Halloween-like. Bake and serve.

5.Garlic pull-apart bread This pull-apart bread is not only easy to make and an amazing appetizer, but it’s also a crowd-pleaser. Start by mincing enough garlic to kill a small child, and mix with salt, butter, and parsley, mix until it becomes a paste. prepare store-bought pizza dough and roll it into a flat rectangle, spread the garlic butter evenly, sprinkle your favorite cheese on top, cut into squares stack together, and put in a loaf pan to bake at 400 degrees. To give it a Halloween makeover. Melt extra mozzarella cheese on top after baking and use a toothpick to drag lines through the melted cheese to create a "spider web" effect.

Garlic is a versatile and flavorful ingredient that transforms even the simplest of dishes into something truly special. From its health benefits to its deliciously savory bite, garlic never fails to shine. This Halloween, embrace the spooky fun of garlic’s vampire-repelling powers while enjoying these mouthwatering dishes with friends and family.

[aesthetikins]

strade from boyfriend to death recipes for anon

im going to say it plainly, this one gave me more difficulty than the other anon prompts (i assume that were all sent by the same person, since they were sent within minutes of each other). part of that is due to it being a kind of vague request, but the other part is that theres not much to go on based on information from the wikia other than this guy is a sadist who makes snuff films. how do you make gore into delicious food? novelty halloween gross-out dishes came to mind immediately

raw meat rice krispies

6 cups rice krispies cereal

10 ounce bag of marshmallows or 4 cups mini marshmallows

3 tablespoons butter

red food gel

chocolate syrup (optional for color)

styrofoam meat trays and cling wrap (optional for decorating)

in a large pot, heat the butter over medium heat until fully melted. add the marshmallows and stir until they have completely melted. remove from heat and pour in the cereal, stirring until fully incorporated into the marshmallow mixture. add in red food gel and mix until fully red, adding a small amount of chocolate syrup to darken the color if you'd like. mix red food gel and chocolate syrup and drizzle onto meat tray or a regular plate. form "meat" patties once the marshmallow and cereal mixture is cool enough to handle, then plate. cling wrap if serving them to others, but feel free to skip wrapping them if you're just going to dig in for yourself

(gasp. whats this? a second recipe?)

tear n share pizza guts

500 grams white bread flour, plus more for dusting

7 gram packet of active dry yeast

2 teaspoons salt

300 milliliters warm water

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 crushed cloves of garlic

2x 400 gram cans of chopped tomatoes

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

2 teaspoons sugar

250 grams grated mozzarella or cheddar cheese, or a mixture

pizza fillings of your choice

2 tablespoons herb garlic butter (you can mix a bit of garlic and dried herbs into softened butter if you cant find pre-mixed herb butter)

scoop the flour into a large bowl. dump the packet of yeast on one side of the bowl and the salt on the other. pour 300 ml warm water into the bowl and mix with a wooden spoon or a stand mixer's dough hook until you have a soft dough. you can add 25 ml water if it seems too dry. knead on a lightly floured surface for 10 minutes or in the stand mixer for 5 minutes until your dough is soft and stretchy. rub some olive oil to cover your dough ball, then put it in a clean bowl and drape a dish towel over the bowl. leave it in a warm place for 2 hours or in the fridge overnight

heat olive oil in a pan over medium heat and saute the garlic until aromatic. add tomatoes, oregano, and 2 teaspoons sugar. reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 20-30 minutes until the sauce thickens. let cool until youre ready to use it, the sauce will store in the fridge for up to 3 days if in an airtight container

when you're ready to assemble, spread the sauce over a large casserole or baking dish. roll the dough out on a floured surface until you have a large rectangle 60x30 cm in size. cut it in half so you have 2 15x60 cm rectangles. pile cheese and toppings along the center of each rectangle. pinch their along the long sides of the rectangles to close the fillings inside, then squeeze along the length of each tube-roll to make sure they're sealed. arrange them over the sauce with their seams facing down, making them into roughly intestine shapes with enough space for the bread to expand as it bakes. cover and let proof at room temperature for 30 minutes, or in the fridge for 8 hours

heat the oven to 200C/400F. bake for 45 minutes until the bread is golden. brush with garlic herb butter and let rest for 10 minutes before serving

[elysiumwaits]

Recipe: Stu Pickles' Chocolate Pudding

Stu Pickles' Chocolate Pudding

Have you lost control of your life? Is it two or three in the morning, and are you in your bathrobe, exhausted? Do you want chocolate pudding?

Behold. A chocolate pudding from basic ingredients you probably already have. Easy, quick low spoons - involves the stove and the fridge, time to chill, and that's it! 

(Please ignore my messy, midnight stove).

Prep time: 15 minutes

Chill time: 1-2 hours

Serves: 4 (or just myself tbh)

Materials/Tools: 

2 qt saucepan

Whisk and/or spoon to stir

Heat source (you can use a stove, a hot plate, or one of ways that your life is going up in flames around you)

Big bowl with lid (if no lid, cover with aluminum foil or saran wrap), ramekins, or something to contain pudding

An out-of-control life (optional)

Bathrobe (optional)

The knowledge that this pudding won't fix your life, but you'll feel better after you eat (optional)

Child who demanded pudding (optional)

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cup milk

1 tsp salt

3 tbsp corn starch

1/3 cup white sugar

1/3-ish cup of hot cocoa powder

2 tbsp cocoa powder

2 tsp vanilla extract

Substitution Tips:

To substitute milk, DO use a lactose-free, an almond milk, a coconut milk, a rice milk, or a soy milk. DO NOT use oat milk (ingredients risk separating). Color will be lighter than if using dairy milk.

If using unsweetened non-dairy milk, double sugar.

Cornstarch can be substituted with all-purpose flour - just double the amount and mix with small amount of water until smooth before adding to other ingredients. 

For gluten-free pudding, you can use arrowroot or rice flour instead of cornstarch or wheat flour - just double the amount and add to dry ingredients.    

Want it really chocolate-y? Use a couple of squirts of chocolate syrup. 

If it's too thick for you, add more milk. If it's too thin for you, add more corn-starch and cocoa powder (or whatever substitutions).

Notes:

I add hot cocoa to my pudding in the form of ripped open Swiss Miss packs for that deliciously fudgy chocolate taste. This measurement isn't exact.

If your mixture seems too thick, add milk in by 1/4 cup accordingly.

Scrape the sides of the pan while stirring constantly.

It's actually harder to burn pudding than you think. Don't give yourself tennis elbow trying to stir the heck out of it, just keep it constant and consistent.

This says it feeds 4, but if you're like me, it actually is a single serving and maybe a bite for anyone else.

You don't have to chill it, you can eat it as soon as it won't set your mouth on fire.

Instructions: 

Put on your bathrobe and wait to make at 2am if you want the Stu Pickles experience. Or make it in whatever you're wearing at any time of day.

Combine all dry ingredients in saucepan. Mix thoroughly to avoid lumps in pudding later.

Slowly stir in milk and vanilla.

Gently bring mix to slow boil over med-high heat, stirring constantly.

Cook at med-high temp until mix begins to thicken up. Keep stirring constantly. You should start to feel a drag as you scrape the sides and bottoms.

Yawn, but carry on.

Continue cooking for 3-4 minutes.

Remove from heat and pour into room-temp containers.

Let cool on the counter for 30 minutes, then chill in fridge for at least 1 hour.

Enjoy your delicious snack! 

Optional: Take your life back and get some sleep.

If you make this, I would love to see pictures and get feedback on how it went for you, how substitutions went, etc, etc. Good luck!

[spooniechef]

Chicken Broccoli Pasta Bake (1-2 spoons)

Batch cooking is a great thing for those of us who have to budget our spoons vey tightly. It means that on good days, we can cook something really tasty that will last for several meals, easily reheated on the bad days ... including the one that might come from cooking something overly ambitious. This particular chicken broccoli pasta bake recipe started as a two-spoon recipe, but can be made a little easier with a couple of tricks and exclusions. The recipe originates from the BBC Good Food website (which is a shame because I have Issues with the BBC right now), but I’ve made a few changes, so I guess it’s mine now. When you make your own changes, it’ll be yours.

Here’s what you need:

250g or so pasta (anything from penne to farfalle to fusilli to macaroni will work)

350g or so chicken, sliced

200g or so broccoli florets, chopped small

175g or so chestnut mushrooms, quartered

About 1 and a quarter cups single cream

Half an average-sized container of soft cheese with herbs (Philadelphia etc)

4 tablespoons sun-dried tomato paste or similar (see notes)

Cheddar or other hard cheese, grated (for topping)

A lot of these measurements are given pretty abstractly, I admit; I’ve been making this for awhile and while the website gives exact measurements, bringing out the scale or measuring cups is a bit much for a recipe that’s this forgiving. It does say to use chicken breasts, but thighs are just as good and often less expensive. Also, if you’re not much on sun-dried tomato, plain tomato paste or just a good dollop of pesto sauce will do just fine. (I’m making it today - it’s baking as I type - and I split the difference and used two big spoonfuls of pesto with sun-dried tomatoes, so that should be interesting.)

Here’s what you do:

Preheat the oven to 190C / 375F

While the oven’s preheating, start boiling your pasta; when it hits the al dente stage, add your broccoli and cook just a little more until the pasta’s just about done; drain and set aside

Cook your chicken bits with whatever spices you feel like using; then add the mushrooms and cook for a couple of minutes

Add the cream, soft cheese, and sun-dried tomato paste (or whatever other flavouring you’ve chosen to use); heat on medium heat, stirring gently, until the paste is blended in and the soft cheese is melted

Add the broccoli and pasta to the pan; stir until the pasta is coated in the sauce

Add the entire thing to a baking dish; top with cheese

Bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese is nicely browned

Obviously, with a pan, a pot, and a baking dish involved, and a fair few chopped things, this one can be a lot of work, especially on a bad day. Also, given dietary restrictions, it can be a little tricky with the amount of things that normally contain lactose and gluten. I figured out a few tricks that make it easier:

If you can, cook the chicken ahead of time. The chicken is meant to be cooked when the other ingredients go in, so all you need to do is throw it back in the pan and let it reheat while you’re cooking the mushrooms. That eliminates the entire “slicing and cooking the chicken” part of the equation, and honestly, little bags of cooked chicken living in the freezer isn’t a bad thing; depending on spicing, it can be used anywhere from fried rice to a way of jazzing up macaroni and cheese from a box.

Chop up the broccoli first too, if you can. Earlier in the day or even the day before; just put it in a bowl with a little tiny bit of water and cover it with tin foil. It just means there’s less to chop up at the time. (I wouldn’t recommend doing that with the mushrooms, though.)

This one isn’t entirely great from the lactose-intolerant point of view. The single cream can be replaced with a dairy-free version, but I’ve yet to find a dairy-free soft cheese that melts well enough to be the kind of sauce-thickener it’s supposed to be here. It’s not too bad with dairy-free soft cheese, but honestly, I get by on Lactaid with this one, since it’s only a half-cup or so.

On the topic of dairy-free options, I’ve found that dairy-free hard cheese doesn’t brown quite the same way the regular stuff does. If you’re using dairy-free cheese, keep an eye on your bake and if the cheese hasn’t browned after 20-25 minutes, don’t panic; just take it out anyway. If you’re worried, tap the cheese on top to see if it’s reasonably hard, but either way it’ll be fine.

Gluten-free pasta actually works fairly well with this one. Since you want it to be nearly done but not quite done when the baking dish goes into the oven, the problem where gluten-free pasta has a very small window between “undercooked” and “overcooked” pretty much goes away. Baking it also means that the pasta gets more of the sauce, since I’ve noticed the gluten-free variety doesn’t soak up sauce as well as the regular kind.

Clean up as you go if possible, because this generates a fair few dishes and if you don’t have a dishwasher, the pile of things used can be disheartening if cleaning isn’t done along the way. If you already do that, then you’re one up on me, but a few tips to make it easier. If you cooked the chicken ahead of time and so don’t have a package on hand to use as an interim garbage can, keep a bowl on hand for the detritus and a separate one for ferrying the mushrooms into the pan when the time comes. Scraping them off the cutting board into the pan is also an option, but requires care and fanangling, whereas dumping the contents of a bowl into the pan is a lot easier. It’s just one more dish to wipe down.

This should be enough for 4-6 servings, depending on how hungry you are. It’s tasty, not quite as hearty and filling as a lasagne but fills the same basic niche.

Also, thanks to everyone who’s put their own tips and advice in the tags. I recommend reading through the notes on these posts, because several people have had great ideas and pieces of advice, and I personally have found them really helpful. Please, if you have tips, keep them coming.