#that was my man. my main man. my main man who gave me soup

[thegroundhogdidit]

do you know how awful it was watching the shadows of rose dlc and saying "oh thank god we're saved" upon hearing the duke's voice. do you fucking know

[halfvalid]

kitten

ABOUT

alternate title: the pet name 'kitten' is gross when used by men but it's cute when a woman nami says it

rating: general audiences

characters: live action!nami | fem!reader | live action!roronoa zoro

pairing: live action!nami x fem!reader

word count: 4.4k

description: nami is aware you've got a crush on one of the straw hats, and she's determined to find out who—but she's completely oblivious to the fact that you actually like her.

tags: strawhat!reader, female reader, fluff, kissing, confessions, no use of “y/n”, pet name "kitten", banter, absolutely tooth rotting amounts of fluff, a little bit of (affectionate) zoro slander

author’s note: i interrupt your regularly scheduled zoro fic posts to provide you with a sapphic nami oneshot instead because she is my wife and i love her dearly.

zoro accidentally popped up a bit too much in this because he's always on my mind. my apologies <3

You’d always liked astronomy. The current-world navigation had nothing to do with the stars, really; at least not when it came to the Grand Line. Unnatural magnetic fields and the odd weather was reason enough for that—but celestial navigation wasn’t even often used in any of the four quadrants. Too finicky, people would say; you know the practice had stopped being in use in the Marines years ago. 

Nami knew it all, though. She was the only one of the Straw Hats who could read the stars, the sky spreading out as a map that only her eyes could read. 

Your interest in it had always been more… artistic. While Nami babbled on about angles and reference points and sextants, you liked to talk about the planets and heavenly bodies blanketing the sky. It was dusk, and the sun was kissing the horizon good night, dull hues of pink and orange spreading alongside the sea with a golden shimmer as it tucked safely away. 

You’d been lying out on the main deck for a good few hours, stretched like a cat along a hammock you’d strung up forever ago, when you heard footsteps. 

“There you are, kitten,” Nami said with a laugh, and you sat up to appraise her. The evening glow cast fire to her orange hair, a blazing halo surrounding her head and painting her skin over in gold dust. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

“Hi,” you said with a soft smile. “What for?” 

“Well, for one, you missed supper.” Nami gingerly took a seat on the side of your hammock, the canvas cloth rocking from side to side with the motion. “Avoiding your crush again?” 

You let out a sigh, half-exasperated as your bottom lip sucked in between your teeth. You nibbled at the flesh there, not responding. Nami had figured out a few weeks ago that you had a crush on one of the other Straw Hats, and she brought it up every so often, although all it did was cause a crease in your brow bone and a flicker of annoyance on your face. 

“What, am I not supposed to bring that up?” Nami teased. The light shone in her crystal blue eyes, clear like the sky during midday, not a cloud in sight. “You still haven’t told me who it is.” 

“Because you’ll pull something if I do!” you protested. “Don’t try to deny it, you conniving little witch.” 

Nami gasped in mock-offense, a hand plastered to her chest. “And destroy your dignity like that? I would never.” 

“I don’t trust you,” you answered, and Nami clicked her tongue. “What did Sanji make?” 

“Fish. Soup. Rice.” 

“You’re so undescriptive,” you said with a wrinkle of your nose. Nami just laughed. 

“Not everyone can be as artistic as you, kitten. Come on, everyone left the kitchen already. You don’t have to worry about running into your mystery man.” She winked at the last sentence, and your breath caught. Nami seemed to notice, because she laughed, stepping up from the hammock and grabbing your hand to help you off. “You’re hilarious.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” you protested. Nami just gave you a look, and you rolled your eyes, but let her drag you along the ship until you reached the kitchen. “You’re so mean to me,” you said, slumping into the nearest chair available. 

“Mhm. Here.” Nami started serving up a plate, loading it full of food before passing it over to you. It was quickly joined by a bowl of soup. “Eat. We’re docking tomorrow, so you should get your energy up. We’re going shopping.” 

“Shopping for what?” you asked, bringing the bowl of soup to your lips. Seaweed. “If you say rope and boat parts I’m going to scream.” As much as you liked the pirate life, there was only so much of the technicalities you could take. You weren’t very much a practical soul, lumped in very much with Luffy when it came to your general attitude of your job description. Pirating consisted of adventure and art, in your opinion. 

“Rope and boat parts,” Nami said with a straight face. She’d always been the exact opposite, all focused on maps and making sure everything was running smoothly. “Well, only partly. I’ve been sent to go clothes shopping too. And to pick up a few other supplies.” Her eyes sparkled. “You’re coming with me, right? Well, unless you want to join your…” 

“Shut up,” you said, making a face at her as you set your bowl down. Nami just laughed. 

“Just putting it out there, kitten. I’m sure you might be more interested in going with Usopp to talk to the stevedores. Or Zoro to the local tavern. Or Sanji for the—” 

“Nope, nope, and nope. I’m going with you,” you said firmly. There was a whisper of a smile at your lips, but Nami didn’t seem to notice it. “And I still don’t get why I’m a kitten.” 

“Because,” Nami answered, propping her elbows on the table as she gazed over at you. “I’m the cat burglar. You’re the kitten.”

“Why isn’t Luffy the kitten?” 

“Luffy’s the captain, and I don’t like him as much.” Nami straightened, starting to clean up around the kitchen and load the abandoned dishes from when everyone else had eaten into the sink. You smiled at that. “You don’t like him, do you? I feel like you could do so much better.” 

“My lips are sealed,” you answered. Nami gave you a sidelong look.

“That better not be a yes.” 

You just shrugged, raising the bowl of soup again and finishing the rest of it before turning to the rice and fish. “Let’s not talk about it. What about you? Any romantic prospects—” 

Nami turned so abruptly you almost choked while eating. “I just barely started learning how to make friends. Maybe we wait a few months before we get to that,” she said. You coughed, palm pressed to your lips as you cleared out your airways.

“Okay. Aggressive.”

Nami scowled. “That was not aggressive.” 

You pulled a face. “Kinda sounds like you have something to hide, Nami,” you teased, and although you didn’t actually expect her to react, she did. To your surprise, Nami turned away again, the very edges of her face pinkening. You stared at her, heartbeat slowing to a steady thud in your chest. There was a faint taste of panic at the back of your throat, slightly sour and acidic like blood or rust. “Um, what was that?” 

“What was what?” Nami asked evenly. Too evenly. You gaped at her back, organs wobbling precariously inside of your chest. 

“That—thing.” 

“Kitten, if you want me to understand what you’re talking about, you’re going to have to be a little clearer than that,” Nami said smoothly. “Now it’s getting dark. You should get to bed. Last chance to shove yourself with your crewmate of choice.” 

“I’m still going with you,” you said stubbornly, shoveling the last of your rice in your mouth before slipping off your chair. You moved around the table, setting your bowl and chopsticks into the sink. “You want me to do them?” you asked, nodding at the dirty dishes that’d piled up. Nami shook her head.

“Go sleep,” she said gently. “I’ll get you in the morning.” 

You watched her for a moment, lips twisting before you finally relented. “Night, Nami,” you said, and she turned away. You were safe there for a moment, admiring how the soft backlit glow from the windows etched shadows along her face. She really was beautiful, and your heart thudded fast in your chest. 

Nami was the strongest person you knew. The smartest person you knew. The Straw Hats wouldn’t be the same without her, and sometimes you found it funny how she seemed so convinced you had a crush on one of the other members of the crew when it was so obvious that she was your north star. 

Ah, well. She’d just have to keep on guessing. 

Nami woke you at the crack of dawn, where the hazy rays of the sun just started rising up from the sea shore. You’d traveled to shore while asleep, and everyone was already up and running. 

“Luffy left already,” Nami was saying, tying a bandana around her head as you gathered up the rest of the supplies you needed. “And we’ll probably spend the whole day out, so we can get lunch in the village.” She eyed you. “I packed breakfast. Come on.” 

You followed her off the ship, savoring the early morning wind along the harbor. The dock men were all already hard at work, milling around the dozens of boats with tools and equipment propped on their shoulders. “Where to first?” you asked. 

“Boat parts,” she said, casting you a sympathetic smile. “Some rope, extra sails, some other stuff. After that I’m thinking groceries—I put Sanji in charge of bulk stock this time, so just stuff like soap and necessities—and then clothes.” She grinned. “And some fun stuff.” 

“Sounds good to me,” you said. Nami did most of the talking, but you were content to watch her barter, leaning back on your heels as she argued with sellers and eventually left with a satisfied smirk on your face. She hired some of the dock men to carry the ropes and items to the Going Merry, looking her arm in yours and going off to your next stop. 

“You know, you’re basically stealing from them like this,” you told her, a smile evident in your voice. “Forty-five thousand berry to thirty thousand. That’s actually terrifying.” 

“I said take it or leave it and he took it.” Nami shrugged, but you could see a beam of pride shine through her face. “But enough of that. The market’s up ahead.” 

The entire village seemed to have been brought out, because true to Nami’s words, there was a fair going on. Stalls boasting all kinds of wares lined the streets, and you peeked through all of them, even at Nami’s urges to hurry up and focus only on your shopping list. She watched you with a soft smile on her lips, the expressions interlaced with ones of exasperation. 

“I should’ve just picked a random man and carted you off with him,” she said with a click of her tongue as you spent far too much time glancing through a stand of knick-knacks and jewelry. “Currently either Zoro or Sanji are my top contenders.” 

You barely suppressed a snort, fingers carefully combing through a bowl of baubles. There were various items inside, from earrings missing a sister to pins and little statuettes. “How come?” 

“Usopp has Kaya, so I would hope you don’t like him,” Nami said. You raised an eyebrow, glancing up to meet her gaze. 

“Kaya’s all the way back in Syrup Village, Nami. She can’t do anything, and who knows when we’ll return there?”

Nami gave you a horrified look. “Kitten, that’s a terrible thing to say.” 

You just laughed, dropping your gaze again and picking at the bowl. There was a dull gleam of something at the bottom; it wasn’t gold or brass like anything else there, and was instead a shining, milky white. You dug through the pile, trying to get to it. “You’re such a romantic.” 

“Does that mean it is Usopp?” 

“I do not confirm nor deny a thing,” you said, finally plucking out what had captured your attention. It was a necklace, the pendant a glittering star on a gold chain. “And I want reasoning.”  

“You’re not buying that,” Nami said, gaze flickering down to it before meeting your eyes again. “Zoro because he’s conventionally attractive and Sanji because he can cook.” 

You scoffed, studying the necklace. “Those are terrible reasons.” 

“I can’t think of any good ones,” Nami protested. “The only thing I can think of are reasons you wouldn’t like any of them. Because they’re all kind of losers and you could do much, much better.” She tilted her head imperceptibly upwards, and you saw a little glimmer in her eye, a reaction that bore uncanny similarity to the one she’d worn the day before. You swallowed, throat suddenly dry. 

“You think Zoro’s conventionally attractive?” You turned towards the stand seller, motioning at the necklace. “How much?”

“You’re not buying that,” Nami repeated, shooting you a look. “It’s a waste of perfectly good berry.” 

“It’s five hundred at most,” you scoffed, fishing a wad of bills out from your pocket. Nami sighed, but she didn’t argue. “Barely anything. Do you think Zoro’s conventionally attractive?”

Nami looked distracted. “Hm?” 

“You said Zoro was conventionally attractive,” you repeated, voice firmer this time. You tried to suppress the little tremble in your cadence as you passed the money to the seller. He counted it and gave you a firm nod. Carefully, you dropped the necklace in your pocket. “Do you think he is?” 

“Well—from an objective standpoint—” 

You pushed past the swarm of patrons milling around the stands, Nami having to quicken her pace to keep up with you. “Attraction isn’t objective.” 

“Kitten.” Nami grabbed your wrist, forcing you to slow down, and you flinched. She tugged you in the direction of another stand, probably something off her list. “Why do you care so much? Am I right? Is he the one you like?” 

You wiggled your wrist out of Nami’s grip. “I don’t care, I’m just curious. Because you’ve been blushing for the past half hour and you mentioned Zoro was conventionally attractive. And if you say he’s conventionally attractive that means you think he’s conventionally attractive. So assumedly you are blushing because of—” 

It clearly took Nami a moment to unscramble your honestly entirely nonsensical words. “Kitten, I’m trying to figure out whether or not you have a crush on Zoro. You’re not supposed to be trying to figure out if I do. And I have not been blushing.” 

You relented, but still couldn’t suppress the pout that threatened your mouth. Your teeth pressed against the flesh of your lower lip, running alongside the skin but not fully biting. “You said Zoro was conven—” 

“If I have to hear you say the words conventionally attractive one more time, I swear I will lock you in the hold,” Nami said sharply, and you had to choke back your laugh. “And the reason I said that is because every single time we go out, at least five people turn to stare at his stupid face. Do you not remember that time on Mirror Ball Island? We practically had to fight women off of him.”

“Okay, fine,” you said, a glimpse at her features seemed to support her words. She was as guarded as ever, and clearly irritated, though her vexation didn’t seem as bad as the annoyances she’d hold over the rest of the crew. They never did, really; Luffy always liked to say that you were Nami’s favorite. “I’m hungry. Can we eat?” 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“I neither confirm nor deny anything,” you repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past week. “Restaurant. Please.” 

Nami didn’t look away from you, but relented, and the two of you went to the nearest restaurant to have lunch. You were mainly silent during the meal, replaying the conversation from before over and over again in your head. There was a buzz of uncertainty in the pit of your stomach, one that you entirely disliked. 

Before you’d been fine with keeping quiet about your crush—you never felt too threatened or upset, under the impression that your feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated and that Nami wouldn’t fall for anyone in the near future anyway. And you didn’t mind her guessing between your four male comrades to find the one who’d stolen your heart. 

But the reactions and the blushes were a development. And you were starting to think that Nami herself had a mystery beau. 

Nami talked about work during the meal, going down her grocery list and checking off the things she’d gotten. You watched her as she glared down at her notebook, pencil caught between two fingers as she scribbled down notes to herself. “You’re not eating,” you said gently. 

“Sorry. Distracted,” Nami answered. She shot you a smile, but it quickly fell as she turned back to her notebook. “What about Sanji?” 

You suppressed a sigh. “Are you still on about this?” 

“Yes,” Nami insisted. She finally shut her notebook, slipping it into the bag hanging off her waist and picking up her chopsticks to return to her soup noodles. “You’d never go hungry with him around, at least.” 

“I think you need to raise your standards. I already don’t go hungry with him around, I don’t need to date him for that.” 

Nami clicked her tongue, but it was good-natured. “You’re making this so hard for me.” 

“I don’t want to talk about myself anymore,” you insisted, setting down your chopsticks. You’d basically finished your bowl already; there were only the final remnants of broth and rice noodles at the bottom, the soup seasoning darker in color; more pungent. 

You fiddled with your hands, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach that persisted even as you thought back to what Nami had said about Zoro. Her reasoning had been sound enough, but you still felt vaguely sick, that bitter taste of sour iron at the back of your throat again. 

“Are you okay?” Nami’s eyes met yours, and you flinched away. “You’re acting weird.” 

“I’m fine,” you muttered. “I think I’m going to head back to the ship and take a nap. I’m kind of tired.” Before Nami could say anything, you got up, chair scraping along the restaurant floor. “See you later?” 

“What? Kitten, wait—” Nami called, but you just swallowed, glancing over your shoulder to shoot her an apologetic look. 

The Going Merry was a breath of fresh air as you stepped foot back onto her deck. There were some dockmen milling about, setting material along the deck as Usopp directed them as to where everything went. 

You brushed past them to veer towards your hammock, slipping onto it and kicking your legs up along the cloth without pause. Your eyes closed, and you let the sun melt down on your face, the tension in your chest easing as you embraced the beam of the sky. 

You stayed there for a while, knowing you were safe as Nami wouldn’t come find you until she’d finished with all her actual tasks. Although this was occasionally irritating if you were in real desire for attention, you appreciated the responsible side of her now. You didn’t have to confront her for a few hours yet, so you spent the time on your hammock, watching the clouds drifting in the sky and picking out the dull stars that shimmered as the sky got darker. 

It was just before suppertime when you remembered the necklace you’d bought. Stars were just beginning to materialize, dark blues and purples replacing the cerulean hues that previously blanketed the Earth. You fished the star necklace out of your pocket, peering at the pendant again. It was made of some sort of shimmering stone you didn’t recognize—perhaps opal—that made it glow like an actual star, iridescent when light hit it. 

“Hey, kitten.” 

You looked up, watching as Nami made her way across the ship deck to where you lay. She looked tired, but still bore a soft smile on her face as she met your gaze. “Hi,” you said, tucking the necklace back into your pocket. Behind her you could see the last of the hired work carrying barrels down to the hold. “Get everything done?” 

“Mhm,” Nami said. “Wanna talk about earlier?” 

“Not really,” you muttered, the sharp tang of rust dancing at the back of your tongue again. “Sorry about storming out. I felt unwell.” 

Nami studied you carefully, arms folding unconsciously over her chest. “I can stop bothering you about your crush, if you want,” she said finally, a gust of a sigh leaving her lips. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“No, it’s okay,” you said, getting up and climbing your legs over the edge so you were sitting on the hammock. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Nami, I swear.” 

“You walked out in the middle of a meal, kitten,” Nami said, and you could hear her voice starting to get upset, even as she tried to level her tone. “Clearly I did. Was it because I kept trying to figure it out? Was I right with Zoro? What—”

“It’s not because of that,” you interrupted, trying to keep your voice gentle even as your chest squeezed inward. You were powerless to your muscles; to your heart as it did a pathetic little thump-thump thing inside of you. 

“Then why?” Nami leaned forward on her heels, and the setting sun caught her eyes, kaleidoscope blue glittering a thousand different shades like the opal of your necklace. “Just tell me, kitten. So I won’t do it again.” 

“It was because of you,” you mumbled, shying away from her gaze. Nami sighed. 

“Yes, we established that I did something to upset you already. I’m trying to find out what—”

“You called Zoro attractive and I was jealous,” you blurted, before you could even think to stop the words from falling out of your mouth. Nami froze, and you lifted your eyes up hesitantly to see her reaction. 

Her shoulders were all tense, face guarded, eyes blank from their usual expression. “Oh,” she said evenly. There was an ugly purse tightening at her lips, and she fought to keep them in an even line. “So it is Zoro, then. Thank you for telling me.”  

She turned away then, her movements abrupt as she started walking. A pulse of panic captured your heart, and you called desperately out to her, volume far too loud in the late hour. You didn’t find yourself caring. “I wasn’t jealous of you!” you cried, and Nami’s entire body went still. 

She turned back towards you, so slowly that you found yourself capturing your breath in your throat waiting for her. 

“I wasn’t jealous of you,” you repeated once her eyes met yours. “I was jealous of Zoro. Of you thinking he was attractive.” Your fingers fumbled together, trying to find something to occupy themselves with as you choked out the final sentence. “My mystery man is you, Nami. I like you.” 

It took a long while for Nami to respond, and the Going Merry rocked as you waited, a soft sway of delay and building panic. There was a shimmer of something in Nami’s eyes, and her lips tugged downwards. 

Her voice was hollow when she spoke. “What?” 

“I don’t like Zoro or Usopp or Sanji or Luffy, Nami,” you said, hands tightening around each other with every word spilt out from between your lips. “I like you. I like you when you call me kitten. I like you when you complain about me buying things but let me do it anyway. I like you even when you’re teasing me about my crush.” Your voice dropped to a low mumble. “And I was jealous because you thought Zoro was attractive.” 

“Oh, kitten,” Nami said, and you glanced up to see her right in front of you, bent over to meet your level sitting down. She reached for your hands, and you let her take them, exhaling as her tender grasp clasped around your palms.

“Nami,” you whispered, horrified to hear how wet your voice sounded. You blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Nami, you may be the ship’s navigator, but you’re my north star. I like you.” 

Kitten, I do not think Zoro is attractive,” Nami said, and you had to choke back startled laughter at that being what she was focusing on. “That is the least of your worries.” 

“But—you seemed so annoyed when you thought it was Zoro—don’t you like—” 

“You’ve got it all wrong,” Nami said, a soft laugh leaving her lips. They were trembling. Her entire body was trembling, even her hands as she cocooned yours in them. “I was annoyed because I thought you liked Zoro. Because—I like you too.” 

You swallowed, surprise forcing your jaw to fall slack as you met her gaze. “Really?” you whispered. Nami nodded; she coaxed soft circles into the skin of your hands, a supportive smile edging up her lips. 

“I really thought you liked someone else, kitten, I would’ve said something before if—” Nami let out another gentle laugh. “If I knew. It wasn’t until you told me about the crush did I realize. I got a little… too overprotective, and then… well, it wasn’t very platonic at that point.” She ducked her head, hiding her smile, but you slipped one of your hands out of her grasp to push it back up. “God, you’re too good for any of them.” 

“I don’t want to talk about how the rest of them suck,” you murmured. “I want to talk about how amazing you are. Oh—and—” You dug your hand in your pocket, pulling out the necklace. “This reminded me of you. I got it for you.” 

“Kitten,” Nami breathed, as you unclasped the necklace and carefully put it on her. It swung around her neck before you adjusted it, golden yellow bright against the white of her pale skin. The opal glittered, catching the moonlight that’d steadily glowed brighter from behind you. “Thank you. It’s still a waste of money though.” 

“Not for you,” you said, grabbing her hands to squeeze her fingers. “Never for you.” You took in a nervous breath, your chest tightening inside—but it wasn’t all bitter and sour, nothing like the taste of panic. 

Nami met you in the middle when you finally leaned up to kiss her, your hand slipping up the side of her face, fingers curling in her orange hair. She smiled when she kissed, soft and carefree for once, that serious facade she always took on melting away in the moment. She kissed softly; tenderly; like the moon shining gentle waves on the East Blue below or the sun in the hazy morning sky casting light across the world. 

There were footsteps approaching from behind Nami. You opened your eyes, tilting your gaze up to see Zoro staring down at you both. Nami broke apart from you, glancing over her shoulder. None of you said anything. 

“Okay,” Zoro decided, and then walked off. You barely managed to stifle your giggles until he was out of earshot. 

“God, he’s such a loser,” Nami said, and then kissed you again. 

© halfvalid 2023

[deonsx]

If They Take Care Of You When You Get Sick

Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai

Dazai Osamu

He really is very cautious in taking care of his one and only bella, He will hug you and give you lots of kisses regardless of your sickness, we know how bad he is at cooking but what will he do in a situation where he has to cook right now?

He thought about ordering food but didn't think it would be healthy so he tried making soup on his own from the cooking videos he really gave him full attention just to look at you, he ditched his job

"My beautiful bella, if anything happens to you, I would never be able to live" He's a real drama creator “Osamu I'm fine you're exaggerating"

I can imagine him holding you in his arms and not letting you walk "My love I can walk" You were told to him, His eyes were squinting looking at you "Still I will take care of you in the best of circumstances"

While you were sleeping, the moonlight hit your face and he watched you sleep, his eyes searched everywhere, he couldn't believe that he had found that true love and that she was lying in his bed like an angel right now "My beautiful angel"

Chuuya Nakahara

He's truly a masterpiece and he's a master at these, I can tell you he's the only man with excellent taste. He cooks with show even when You sick, which makes you smile, She takes her temperature every 10 minutes, pays a lot of attention, water bag and many things, pills, injections, serums, they are all here just for you now

He does 2-3 jobs at the same time, when you don't have control at home, things are only balanced by his power. You offered to call a doctor to the house, but he refused, "I'm the one who wants to take care of you, no one else is needed"

Of course he doesn't care if you're sick to kiss you too, he just lays you on his lap and watches you sleep, You rested your head on his orange hair and you fell asleep with his beautiful harmonizing perfume "My princess, I will always take care of you"

Ranpo Edogawa

No matter how cute and frivolous your boyfriend is, everything stops when it comes to you "I'll give you candy if you get better dear" you laughed at what he said "Ranpo I'm not a kid"

"I'm sure you will love it my love"he left kisses on your head, stroked your hair with his hands and tried to tell you a fairy tale "Once upon a time a princess..." He chose a beautiful story to put you to sleep

He can be very distracted while he cooks because you are the reason for making the food here, if you leave the room he is in and try to do anything while he is cooking he will scold you "Where were you s / he while I was cooking" he really asked you with a stupid seriousness on his face

"My love I just went out on the balcony" Ranpo shook his head disapprovingly "My wisdom instinct tells me you stood up for the laundry" He's not really serious at all. "If you try to get up again, I'll have to tie you to the bed in handcuffs, honey, be nice"

Fyodor Dostoyevski

He may indeed be the most normal lover among them, but just because he's normal doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, But of course he was interested in your illness and he wasn't that indifferent. "You still have a high fever, you need to take medicine dear"

He wasn't the best at cooking, he only cooked when it was absolutely necessary, but he wanted the best for you and brought home a chef who never took his money into consideration, yet you know how rich he is "The chef will make you 4-5 different main courses, if you don't like any of them just tell me my love"

He also considered calling a doctor home but didn't want to put you at any risk afterward because he had too many enemies, He left his job halfway just for you and took the best precautions for your recovery He tried every hour to heal you with special pills and serums "I don't know if you have any medical experience?"you asked him with a laugh. "Just for you, my dear”

Nikolai Gogol

"Darling please don't die yet we'll live a long life with you" He said stroking and kissing you "Ohh I'm fine please let me mind my business" "This is not possible, my love, I hired servants for you.." he spoke to you "Servants??" As soon as you asked, the door of the house opened and two women and two men entered. "People here will take care of your food, cleaning and your illness."

Your eyes really opened in surprise, you were expecting something, but you didn't think that he would exaggerate everything so much, He did make you feel like you were a princess in a castle, he was constantly teleporting around the house bringing you a water bag, ice cloth and a lot of things

He told you about his childhood while you were lying on a bed and you memorized everything he said word for word, he was saying it to sleep you, but when he turned his head to you he saw that you were not sleeping "My beautiful love is still listening to me?”

Enjoy!

I want to write them more as a father the time he spends with his children and his wife

[xoxoavenger]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎁🎈🎂🎉🎊 I loved Try Me (Matt Murdock x Reader), I was wondering if maybe you could write a sequel? I could see an intimate moment where she’s feeding him the soup she made and taking care of him, potentially with the hilarity of Foggy finding out he’s got two super powered friends

thanks! hopefully this is what you were looking for, I had fun writing it!

Ask Me

pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

word count: 1099

warnings: none

part 1

birthday masterlist main masterlist

"I can't believe you're Daredevil." She mutters as she ladles the soup into a bowl. She made a broth more than a soup because she didn't have time to cut the vegetables, but it'll do the trick. She also didn't know the extent of Matt's injures, and she didn't want him to have trouble eating anything. "Does Foggy know?" She asks as she brings the bowl over to the couch.

"Yes," Matt chuckles, but his teeth are clenched in pain. She kneels next to the couch and she is still shocked by his injuries, even though she's already seen them. He has a large cut across his chest, and resists the urge to touch it.

She watches Matt try to sit up, but he's clearly in too much pain. She puts the soup on the ground in favor of helping him up. She tries not to let her pulse rush as she touches his bare back and bicep, pulling him up gently until he is sitting up enough to eat.

"Here, let's get you some food." She tells him, spooning some broth and then carefully helping him eat some. It's so quiet in the apartment that she swears she can feel her own heart race as she feeds Matt. They're close, and her brain is reeling with the thought of how Matt, and blind man, can be a vigilante.

"I think that's good." Matt groans when they're about three fourths of the way though the bowl. She gets up to put the bowl away and grab a warm, wet cloth.

"How are you Daredevil?" She asks, sinking down to her knees again and beginning to wipe off the blood around his wounds.

"Are you asking if I'm actually blind?" He questions, but he's smiling, so she can tell he's joking. 

"I know you're blind, Matt." She says with a small sigh. She's seen his unfocused eyes too many times to think he was just preteneding. 

"All my other senses are heightened." He tells her, tensing as she begins to wipe a big, deep cut. She hopes that soon her healing food will kick in; she's never seen it help on this level, and she's worried it won't work as well as Matt is hoping it will.

"So, you can hear really good?" She asks, wondering what exactly that means. He shrugs, smiling a little bit.

"And smell, and taste. And feel. I have to have specific sheets because of how sensitive my skin is." He's feeling better, she can tell, and it makes her smile.

"How did figure it out?" She asks quietly. She's had these powers ever since she can remember, but she'd never told anyone and no one ever figured it out either. This is a first, sharing a gift, and she can't help but feel a little scared.

"That your food could heal people?" He clarifies. She almost nods, but then catches herself.

"Yeah," She confirms.

"You asked me what happened again the day after you first gave me the croissant, as if you knew it should have gone away. And I usually have accelerated healing anyway, but not that fast. You wouldn't have known that." He's starting to relax more, and she knows he needs to get some sleep soon.

"You wanna move to the bed?" She asks, putting the cloth down and preparing to move him. Before he can answer, Foggy comes stomping back in.

"So both of my best friends are super heroes?" He yells, throwing the drugstore bag in their general direction. Y/N's eyes widen as Foggy walks to them.

"I am not a super hero." Y/N clarifies.

"I wouldn't classify myself as one either." Matt interjects, a hand out to stop Foggy's rant. It does nothing, and Foggy soldiers on.

"You can feel, hear, and smell things no human should be able to feel, hear, and smell." He points at Matt, who raises an eyebrow. "And you can heal people with your food, that you've been feeding me for months!" Foggy moves to Y/N, and she just shakes her head.

"Have you ever wondered why you haven't gotten sick in months?" She asks, and he just scoffs.

"That proves my point!" He screams. Y/N and Matt shake their heads, Matt smirking.

"Foggy, neither of us are superheroes. You don't need to freak out." Matt tries to calm him down, but Foggy just gets more worked up.

"Are you kidding me? You could be Avengers for all I know!" Foggy grabs the bag that he had thrown and begins to get some of the bandages and Neosporin out to help Matt.

"Oh my God," Y/N groans, rolling her eyes and putting her head in her hands. Honestly, Foggy freaking out was kinda funny, but she isn't sure if he's being serious now or not.

"We're not Avengers, Foggy." Matt chuckles, and Y/N begins to put bandages over Matt's injuries.

"Well I just don't know that, do I?" Foggy looks over at the pot on the stove, walking over there quickly. "What did you make?"

"Just a quick broth. I wanted to get Matt something quick." She tells Foggy as she begins to focus on the task at hand.

"Is this why I haven't gotten paper cuts?" Foggy asks as he ladles a little soup out for himself.

"It doesn't make you skin extra strong, Fog." Matt tells him as she continues bandaging him up. Her hands brushing his skin make Matt want to crawl out of his skin in a good way, which didn't make sense until this very moment.

"Did I hurt you?" Y/N asks softly when he tenses.

"No," He mutters, putting a hand on her wrist to stop her. "It's okay, I think the big ones are taken care of." He just wants to lay down and sleep it off now, but he wants to ask her one more thing.

"Let me help you to your room." She offers, and together, with him leaning on her, they make it to Matt's room.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks as they sit down. He can feel the heat begin to flush her cheeks, her heart beginning to race. He's worried still that maybe she feels uncomfortable until she responds.

"Working." She thinks she's funny, and Matt chuckles.

"Do you want to go to Josie's with me tomorrow night?" He asks, and she ducks her head and smiles.

"As long as my boss lets me off on time." She says, nudging him with her shoulder.

"I'll talk to him." He tells her, both of them smiling hard enough that their cheeks hurt.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace  @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXIII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Drinking and alcohol are mentioned.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX, Part XXI, Part XXII

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Through the years, Satoru had had many bad ideas. Like that time when you were kids, and he convinced you to trespass someone’s property to explore an abandoned house, and you were almost bitten by an angry dog. Or that time he dyed a strand of Suguru’s hair while he was sleeping, and Suguru sulked for three days straight.

Now, the way Satoru was staring down at Haruki made you realize this night might as well be joining the list of his bad ideas.

You had arrived at the restaurant with Shoko on time. The original plan had been for you and your friends to arrive together, and have Haruki join you there, but Satoru had been forcefully pulled into Yaga’s office last minute

“I’m sorry,” principal Yaga said, applying more pressure on the lock he currently had Gojo in. “I need to speak to professor Gojo for a minute.”

Gojo’s impromptu meeting with Yaga had resulted in Haruki arriving earlier than him and taking the seat Shoko had purposely left empty for Gojo to sit by your side. To say Gojo was not pleased when he arrived and had to take the spot next to Ieiri would be fairly accurate.

Not that he disliked Shoko in any way, but he would have preferred to sit by your side this night in particular, and, even if he had come here to finally gauge the kind of man Haruki after years of not having to exchange a word with him, having his face in front of him during the whole night was not exactly what he had in mind.

He understood Haruki had invited you, and that he and Shoko were technically your friends, not his, so of course, he would want to sit closer to you, but that thought did not ease Satoru’s mind.

“The appetizer is a cold soup, a recommendation of the chef.” Ikeda smiled for all. “And I did preselect the dishes, but please feel free to order anything you’d like from now on.”

He passed the wine menu in Shoko’s direction, and if you had ever seen her eyes shine, this was it.

“They also have a special desserts’ selection,” he went on, trying to show Satoru a friendly smile.

You made a mental note to commend Haruki’s efforts to make the dinner enjoyable for your friends later.

“Can I invite Satoru too?”

You thought the brief silence you heard on the line was hesitation, but then Ikeda’s voice came clear from your phone. “Of course! The more, the merrier. Is there anything specific they like? I’ll have my friend prepare it.”

“Don’t you say…” Satoru’s voice sounded disinterested, as if he was not the one with the sweetest tooth at the table. He kept looking at the menu. “These are a bit steep, aren’t they?”

You glared at him. Don't start with the passive-aggressive comments.

Since when did he care about price anyways?

“I guess they are.” Ikeda gave him an apologetic smile. “Not that you have to mind it though. Tonight’s on me.”

Not that he needs to mind either. He is wearing the whole menu’s worth in clothes, Ieiri thought, side eyeing Gojo and the expensive button-up white shirt he had on.

“Lucky us then... I’ll take you up on that.”

You wanted to give Satoru a good scolding look, but his eyes were locked with Ikeda’s.

Sigh... We just need to make it to the dessert.

***

Against all odds, Haruki’s efforts were proving to be fruitful to some extent. Who would have believed that not even Gojo Satoru himself would not be able to resist his charms?

After a rocky start, the conversation in the group had turned for the better, and by the end of the main course, it seemed like Shoko and Satoru were finally enjoying themselves.

It’s nice to see them like this for a change.

“You’re kidding!” Satoru’s smile to Haruki was nothing but genuine this time.

“I’m not! I’ll show it to you some day. It was tough to get his autograph but I’m glad I did it before he retired the year that followed.”

The subject at hand was a baseball autographed by Matsui Hideki that Haruki had gotten during a game he had gone to while he was abroad.

Finding out these two shared a liking for baseball made you smile.

Maybe, just maybe, they could bond over this and become friends.

“He did, right? Oh man, what a shame.”

Haruki glanced at Shoko who had been listening to the whole baseball-centered discussion with occasional nods when she remembered something Gojo had babbled about in the past, when he had forced you and her to watch a baseball game with him, but still, she was far more interested in her almost empty glass of wine.

“Please allow me.” Haruki grabbed the bottle of wine that had been left on ice aside on and poured some in Ieiri’s glass, to her delight, and in yours. Then he looked at Satoru’s untouched glass.

Gojo had prevented the waiter from serving him earlier and asked him for another drink instead, but that had already been finished. So, Haruki held up the bottle above the empty glass, ready to fill it, but Gojo covered it with his hand.

“Thanks, but I will not drink.”

“Oh, okay, got it.” Ikeda nodded, returning the bottle to the ice that was slowly melting as the night progressed.

Shoko smiled. “He’s a lightweight, that’s why he doesn’t drink,” she stated, nodding in Gojo’s direction.

“Is he?”

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.” You laughed. “The number of times I’ve had to look after his wasted ass.”

Even Gojo laughed and added “I’ve made you into an expert designated caretaker. You are most welcome.”

“Now that explains it. I’m glad I had an expert to take care of me the other day then,” Haruki was grinning at you but the laughter from the other side of your table was slowly fading out. You froze.

Oh, he mentioned that.

From the side of your eye, you saw Satoru tilt his head like a puppy. He did not know you and Haruki had a habit of going out for drinks. That was because you did not. That day had been an isolated event.

“You were not that drunk though,” Satoru watched you smile at the man next to you and sip your drink. “Anyway…”

We should change the subject.

But it seemed that the wine had loosened your friend's tongue because Ikeda leaned back and continued. “Oh, no, thank God we weren’t too drunk. If I had forgotten where I live, we would have had to go to a hotel. I bet you would have complained about the bed there too.”

If he says it like that, it sounds as if…

You shot a quick glance to Satoru. It was clearly visible there was something he had not liked about that phrase, and he looked back at you. You though you could read the question on his face.

What is he talking about?

“I hope the breakfast was worth the struggles though. I’ve been told I make the best French toast.”

That night… the bed... and the breakfast?

It did not take a genius to fill in the gaps among those elements with a colorful story.

“Who lied to you?” You half forced a smile and tried to stop Haruki’s rambling. Shoko had also smiled at your comment, but Satoru was starting to look out of sync with the mood.

“Okay, I may not be the best cook, but I make up for it in other areas, don’t you think, [name]” When Haruki said that and winked at you, the vision Gojo had been enticed to believe in the last hour finished crumbling, and he remembered who he was with and why.

“When?” he heard himself asking.

Was he asking you or Haruki? It did not matter; the latter’s focus turned to Gojo. “Sorry, what?” Gojo’s voice had been a bit too low to hear.

“When did you two go out drinking?”

“Oh, you asked when? Well…”

Haruki looked up as if searching for an answer in the air and then back at your face for confirmation. “Like two weeks ago?”

You did not miss the way Satoru's eyes shifted to you.

“It may not look like it, but your friend here,” Haruki's his arm found its way around your shoulders, “really knows how to hold their liquor. It was at this place that’s known for its sushi, but they share the establishment with a themed bar… Ieiri, you know it? It’s...”

Two weeks ago, Haruki had called you and asked you to meet with him for dinner and a few drinks afterwards, as friends of course, but you did not tell Satoru because…

He might have overreacted if I had told him that we were going to drink.

One look at Satoru was all it took for you to know the kind of math he was doing.

Two weeks ago…

Two weeks ago, Satoru had already told you he liked you.

Two weeks ago, he had already kissed you breathless in that empty street, and that night he had almost professed his love for you in your bedroom, but you had stopped him because you believed you were not ready.

He did not mind because two weeks ago, he had already been too immersed in this limbo he thought he could live in, having you as the friend he was in love with and who would let him step on some lines but not cross them.

Two weeks ago, he had been on a trip abroad to deal with one of those matters that were only assigned to him, and him only, because he was the strongest, but he did not feel like that now, because what exactly had you been doing two weeks ago?

“If you are trying to say we cannot both be their friends, I guess I would have to be something else then.”

Of course… Why had he not seen it coming?

I am the one stuck as a friend, aren’t I?

“Say, Dr. Ieiri, what is the medical explanation behind someone being a lightweight? I’m afraid I might be one myself.” Ikeda asked, shooting a playful smile to Gojo, which was not welcomed at the moment.

Shoko may have responded with an explanation about the various factors affecting how each person processed alcohol, but the words where muffled in Satoru’s ears because all he could hear was the beating of his own heart.

"Jeez... Can you be any ruder?"

"Yes, these are for you."

"No... I mean I like you, Satoru."

“I see.”

The pressure he was feeling in his chest, was it his heart breaking?

“Gojo, are you okay?”

No, he was not feeling okay, and he did not want to hear the voice of the man that was asking him that. He did not want to see his face either.

“Excuse me,” Satoru muttered more to himself than for anyone else and left the table.

Ieiri looked at your worried expression turned in the direction Satoru had gone. She was no fool, she had been surprised for a second too at the implications of Ikeda’s words but had not expected Gojo to seem affected.

Haruki frowned slightly. “Did I say something wrong?”

She tilted the glass she was holding in her hands, appreciating the red liquid inside.

Can't be helped. That box was long overdue for opening.

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Note: Shoutout the lovely anon I told I would post this today to if I could. For the record, I guess I meant my today (sorry!), but yeah, love you all.

Thanks for reading!

Next: Part XXIV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski @rosellerinfrost @catowru @bi-narystars @wondermilka @fortunatelyfurrygiver

[claimedcrossbows]

Served! Sanji x Fem!reader Pt. 2

Slight anime spoilers/foreshadowing.

THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! <3

Your anxiety was at a full ten as all you could do was listen to pots banging and clattering and Sanji yelling at his makeshift team of chef’s that consisted of a green haired sword fighter, a liar, and a rubber man who wanted to eat everything he saw.

You almost got up from your bed when you heard what sounded a awful lot like a fire extinguisher.

“Oh my God i’m doomed.” You mumbled still clutching your stomach.

You sighed looking over at the orange haired woman occupying your sisters bed and wondered how this woman had managed to make it this far with a crew full of idiots.

If she survived she definitely had your full sympathy.

You sighed looking back over your recipe book that contained numerous healing recipes that you had mastered over the years.

From the looks of the woman it seems she has been bitten by some type of insect, probably from a warm island climate if you had to take a guess.

You skimmed through your book trying to see what recipe would best suit the woman.

Your thoughts were however interrupted by a knock on your door.

You slowly got up and answered the door surprised to see Sanji standing before you.

“How’s Nami?” He immediately asked, looking slightly past you into your room to see his friend still unconscious.

“She’ll get better when I start on the recipe I need to heal her, I already have a few in mind, but that’s not going to happen anyway unless you serve a meal worthy of a outstanding letter of recommendation from the food critic.” You said crossing your arms.

He nods, “That’s why I came up here, come down stairs for a food test.” He said.

You nod your stomach still doing sommersaults but you’d brave anything to make sure your got a good review tonight. So you followed Sanji down stairs and nearly fell out when you saw the state of your kitchen.

It looked like a sea beast had torn apart your kitchen.

“Sweet Jesus…” You said.

“I promise I will clean it thoroughly.” Sanji quickly intercepts seeing you look like you were about to collapse from the sheer shock. “LUFFY I TOLD YOU TO STOP STANDING ON THE TABLES!” Sanji yelled kicking him off.

“Owwww Sanjiii!! I was trying to reach the pots!!” Luffy groaned.

“I Put you on untensil cleaning what could you possibly need a pot for!?” Sanji angrily yelled.

“TO BOIL THE CRAB DUH!” Luffy yelled back.

“WHY ISN’T THE CRAB BOILED!?” Sanji seethed.

“BECAUSE USOPP DIDN’T WANNA TOUCH IT!!” Luffy yells pointing at Usopp.

“IT PINCHED MY NOSE!” Usopp exclaimed.

“I’m lost..” Zoro says holding up two spoons one which was the soup spoon and the other the tea spoon.

“WHEN ARE YOU NOT!?” Sanji hissed throwing a ladle at the mans head.

“WATCH IT CASANOVA!” Zoro seethed.

Sanji sighed turning to you, “Come this way Y/N.” He said directing you out to the dining hall that to your surprise had been miraculously fixed up and in front of you were the main courses and appetizers for the night.

“These are the samples that your sister helped me make, she’s currently looking for some more seasonings for the seafood gumbo.” He paused then continued, “She’s a really fantastic cook, i’m sure she learned from you.” Sanji said giving you a more pollite smile than the flirtatious ones he used earlier.

All you gave was a nod as you began trying some of the lobster mac and jambalaya.

You watched Sanji stare at you with the upmost confidence in his dishes as you chewed and swallowed the rest making sure to have a complete poker face all throughout.

Your little sister enters the room and sees you testing the food.

“Y/N how is it!? I made sure he followed your recipe’s to the highest degree!” She boasted.

You put your fork down and stared at both of them, “The jambalaya could definitely use more kick, the lobster mac a bit more salt, and i’m assuming you prepared the alligator?” You said looking at your little sister.

You take the entire platter of alligator and basically shove it at her.

“Y-yes!” She said shakily.

“It’s too tough, 86 it, and do it over again.” You said flatly.

“R-right!” She said taking the platter and immediately running off her face heavily dissapointed.

You look back over at Sanji who to your surprise had sat down pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and was already mid smoke watching you and your sister interact.

“Ooh your tough, reminds me of Zeff.” He notes blowing out a puff of smoke.

“Who told you you could smoke in my restaurant?” You said plucking the cigarette out of his hand.

He smiles, “My apologies.” He says. “So back to the cutting board?” He asks.

“No. Yours was actually good it can go out.” You said then added, “Guess Zeff instilled some sense in you when it comes to cooking.” You noted.

Sanji laughs, “I can out cook him on my worst day.”

“Hmm, add some more seasonings to those dishes and they’ll be set.” You said. “Just no oregano okay?” You stressed.

Sanji paused and stared at you with a awe struck look followed by a bright smile that nearly blinded you, “I think I just fell for you harder.” He said breathlessly.

“I don’t believe in love at first sight.” You say flatly.

“Then maybe I should walk in again?” He offered a flirty smile gracing his lips once again.

“You are really making me sick.” You sighed feeling the nausea creep back upon you.

“Love sick?” He raised a brow.

“No. Just sick, sick.” You plainly say as his smitten look remained on his face.

You shoot the cook a puzzled look and shake your head, “Okay lover boy, dinners in a few, i’m going back upstairs to look through my healing recipes.” You say turning to leave before the love cook could utter another word.

Before you went upstairs you could hear Luffy screaming, “SANJIII ONE OF THE CRABS ESCAPED!!”

“HOW!?” You could hear sanji angrily yell back.

“IT’S NOT OUR FAULT IT HAD A KNIFE!” Usopp could be heard squealing.

“ZORO FIGHT IT!” Luffy could be heard yelling.

Next thing you heard was “THREE SWORD STYLE!!” Followed be a whole lot of ruckus.

It would be a miracle if you pulled this dinner service off you thought.

-

It was dinner time and you had succesfully managed to find a recipe you think would work on the bedridden woman now it was just time for Sanji to uphold his end of the deal you. Your stomach was still in knots but you managed to dress yourself up for the dinner service and walk yourself down the stairs to a restaurant full of customers some seated, some waiting to be seated.

Your sister along with Zoro and Usopp seemed to be waiting tables, you laughed just a bit when your sister had to instruct Zoro more than several times where the empty tables were for people to be seated.

Your sight suddenly caught a man to the far right back corner of the restaurant by himself and every chef’s insight when it came to food critics kicked in and you knew this must be the food critic.

You nearly threw up again this time anxiety induced as you quickly ran towards the kitchen and screamed for Sanji.

“Sanji!” You yell out of breath by the time you entered the kitchen.

“Mon cheri is everything okay?” He asks setting the frosting down since he was in the middle of decorating desserts.

“The-The Critic is out there far right back corner table.” You stressed. “ I cannot meet him in the state i’m in.” You explain.

“You look stunning though.” He said admiring your outfit.

“If sweaty, pale, and exasperated is stunning I must be frickin gorgeous then, Sanji go out there and talk to them!” You say grabbing the man by the tie and dragging him towards the door but not before the door opened and your sister stood their smiling.

“I met the food critic!!” She boasted.

Your blood ran cold immediately.

“You what?” You asked.

“I met the food critic!” She repeated, “And guess what since we were running out of appetizers due to the crawfish shipment being delayed I offered him some of the shrimp skewers I made left over from last night, they were such a big hit I thought he’d like them!” She excitedly said.

“There were leftovers…I thought we ate them all-”

“Well yeah but I saved a plate for myself for later, it’s a good thing I didn’t eat them though.” She smiled excitedly.

Your heart rate was in over drive and you had never ran so fast in your entire life.

“Don’t eat that shrimp skewer!!” You yell in a room full of crowded people who all pause and look at you appauled.

Your eyes meet the food critic and his empty appetizer plate and you nearly collapse right there.

Your sister hurries behind you followed by Sanji who looked just as lost as everyone else in the room.

You watch the food critic approach you and you swear the world is spinning at this point.

“Are you the owner of this establishment?” The critic says their eyes boring into you with peak interest.

You couldn’t read his face which only heightened your panic, “Y-yes sir..” You stutter.

“Well Ms, I suggest your get some new wait staff, that gentleman over there ate my appetizer before I could even take a bite!” He angrily says.

Your eyes widen in confusion until the critic points to the back of the restaurant where you could see Luffy laying flat on his back on a table surrounded by gobbled up scraps from desserted plates.

“LUFFY!” Sanji yells.

“Uhhgggg I don’t feel so well.” He groans.

“Ah..I apologize sir, please allow us to get you another appetizer and perhaps a bottle of our fancy wine?” You offer.

The critic contemplates for a minute and then nods, you sigh and relief and Sanji quickly goes to serve the critic his food.

You let out a sigh of relief as your sister still looks at you puzzled by everything that had just occured.

You say nothing as you walk back upstairs suddenly needing to lie down.

-

The dinner service ended and you were too scared to go back downstairs to see what had happened. It wasn’t until you heard a knock on your door that you got up and answered it. There stood Sanji still wearing his suit and famous smile.

“Come downstairs?” He asked.

You nodded following him downstairs as he lead you past the dining room, past the kitchen, and outside at the back of the restaurant where a nice deck stood over looking the ocean.

“So you found the deck huh?” You quipped as you saw a table and two chairs set up that hadn’t been there before.

“It’s peaceful back here.” He noted.

“It is.” You agree sitting down noticing a lidded tray in the middle of the table.

You shoot him a bewildered look and he just smiles unveiling the plate just like he would any other customer.

There in front of you on a plate layed a single letter, and a drink.

“The drink is a pear ginger smoothie to help settle your stomach, and the letter is from the critic, bon appetite.” He says smiling warmly as he sits across from you.

You give him a short smile and sip the smoothie actually surprised with just how good it is.

“It’s not a healing recipe, but it should still help ease the nausea” He says.

“Thank you.” You say as you focus your attention back onto the letter, “Did you read it?” You ask.

“It’s your restaurant Mi’lady.” He says, “You should do the honors.” He says.

You nod as you pick up the letter and take a deep breath before reading it.

As you read you could feel Sanji’s eyes locked onto you and you weren’t sure if it was due to anticipation or something else as you could feel his inquistive eyes never leave you.

You set the letter down and look at him.

“Well East Blue Boy, you did it!” You smiled watching a wide smile spread upon his face.

“Great review?” He asked happily.

“4 out of 5 stars, mostly because of the poor wait staff-”

“I Apologize for Luffy.” Sanji immediately cuts in.

“Actually I think he saved me.” You sigh putting the letter down as sitting further back in your chair.

“Yeah what was that about earlier?” He asks shooting you that same questioning look as he reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a lighter and another cigarette.

“Geez what are you a chimney?” You quip.

“I’m assuming it’s okay now that we’re outside?” He asks before he lights.

“Eh it’s your lungs.” You shrug.

He gently laughs, “You trying to stall?” He asks.

You sigh frowning a bit, “I know what caused me and my entire staff to contract food poisoning.” You admit.

“Yeah I was wondering about that, how does a chef as talented as you get food poisoning?” He asks.

“It wasn’t me..” You admit. “It was my sisters shrimp skewers.” You explain.

“Wait-the ones she gave the critic!?” Sanji eyes widen. ”Those very ones.” You nod, “Thank God Luffy ate them before he did, ohh wait he’s okay right?” You ask kind of worried about the bouncy kid.

“Luffy’s immune to most poisons, he’s fine just a mild stomach ache I gave him one of the ginger smoothies as well.” Sanji says.

“That’s good.” You say tiredly.

“Your sister though? She’s so talented?” Sanji asks.

You shake your head, “She’s amazing, she’ll probably be better than me at some point..but she’s young, passionate and quite forgetful, always so quick to move from one thing to the other, like leaving those shrimp skewers out for hours and only fridgerating it after it had been out most of the day.” You sigh.

“Ah..so that’s how it happened.” Sanji sort of chuckles. “Zeff would’ve had my head if i had let something like that happen, but you made her my sous chef?” He wonders.

“She’s young, and makes mistakes, but when she’s serious she’s one of the most talented upcomers i’ve ever seen.” You say proudly. “I knew with a critic coming in she was going to give it her all.”

“You trusted her even though it could’ve meant the end of your restaurant?” He states admiration for you ghosting his face.

“Of course, she’s my sister.” You shrug giving a small smile.

He returns the smile as you both fall into silence.

You can’t help but notice his blue eyes and how much they shined looking at you in a way you couldn’t quite place.

You clear your throat and stand up, “Well since you fulfilled your end of the bargain I better start making the recipe to heal your friend.” You say.

He nods and you begin walk to the door turning around as you see him still seated there.

“Aren’t you coming?” You ask.

He raises a brow in confusion.

“Come on your going to help me.” You say watching his eyes light up.

“Yes Chef!” He says smiling as he puts his cigarette out and follows you in.

-

Hey guys wow this was supposed to be 2 parter at most, but now I'm thinking I might make a 3rd part, let me know if it’s something you want though.

Oh and here's a video of the crab fighting Luffy, Usopp and Zoro!!

[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (18)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: none.

A/N BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz). Just know I am reading every single one of your comments and reblogs. And I love them so much. Just to let you know. I might add a special shoutout for all of you who made my day with your comments lol.

As the evening was starting to turn dark, the boys had gone back into their roles of being with one another. You could see how at ease they all felt now that they were all together. The four boys who were staying in the city had always been a bit tense. They were worried about their comrades and thus it created a stale environment full of depression. It was clear they fed off each other’s energies. They needed every single one of them in order to be content. 

While they knew they were all together, you had noticed one person missing during dinner. The boys didn’t seem to care enough, at least not until they had all finished and Wooyoung noticed how many plates there were to wash. 

The boy was mad, stomping around as he made a bowl for the captain. He was about to scold the man until you spoke up, telling him you would take the meal. The boy grumbled to himself, shoving the food into your hands as he went back to cleaning.

There wasn’t anywhere you could knock so you had just called out that you were going to enter the tent. When you got a response, you moved the tarp to the side and passed through. You knew he wasn’t doing anything, seeing as it was just the main tent where they would gather for meetings. 

“I brought you a bowl of soup.” You gestured to the plate. “Wooyoung got mad that you didn't come out.”

Hongjoong had been looking over some papers at a desk, glancing up at you. “He'll live.” He hummed. When you set the plate down in front of him, he gave a nod of his head and moved to begin eating. “Thank you.” 

You tried not to be nosey and look over the papers he had, so you opted to look around the table, trying to find other things to occupy yourself with. Hongjoong placed the spoon down into the bowl as he kept his eyes on you.

You look awkward to be standing there next to him. He wondered why it was you hadn’t just walked out after giving him the food; however, he figured you wanted something if you were the one to do the delivery. He decided to make things less suffocating by being the one to start a conversation.

“Are you okay?” His question caught you off guard, looking at him with wide eyes. 

You licked your lips as you thought about his question. “At this moment or in the past two weeks?” You asked, looking down. 

Sighing, you felt like you knew exactly what it was you wanted to say. You looked up at Hongjoong, meeting his eyes. “I'm relieved.” You breathed out. “That you are all okay and safe for the most part. I wanted to come find you all right away, but the boys told me I had to wait. Time went painstakingly slow. It felt like torture to not know how you all were.”

Hongjoong turned to give you his full attention, one leg lifted over the other as he got comfortable in the chair. “I'm sure you weren't the only one worried.” He told you.

“So you all have said.” You laughed softly. “Thank you.” You suddenly spoke up, looking at him with kind eyes. 

“For what?” He frowned, eyebrows pinched together. 

“Keeping the others safe.” You smiled. “I know you don't like me much, but I appreciate you.” Hongjoong looked at you like you had grown an extra head.

He had given you no reason to like him. No reason to really even think about him. He hadn’t really spoken to you much, but somehow you appreciate him? He knew that you were different from what the others had said, however now he was just a bit skeptical. 

“In fact, after all this time, I think you're an inspiration. What you've done with the boys—how you've kept them together for so long. They speak highly of you.”

Hongjoong hummed as your feelings now made sense. A small smile grew on his face as he thought about his friends. He didn’t realize how much his leadership affected them so much. He knew they spoke about him, they always spoke about each other. But to have them speak about him in such a way that made people see him as an inspiration had him wanting to cry. 

After so long, he knew they were much closer than a lot of other gangs. He was glad to have reached that kind of level of friendship. He had tried so hard to keep them all together, it seemed like that paid off. They trusted him so much and he didn’t want to lose it. 

Looking over at you, he knew that they were starting to care deeply for you. If he was to ask them to leave you he knew they would, but at the cost of some of their own happiness. He had never seen the boys become so enamored with someone so quickly. Now that he was actually having a conversation with you, he could see why they would be.

“I can't remember a time when we made friends that lasted a long while.” He expressed. “They come and go after finding out what we do. I've tried my best at keeping them together, but sometimes I fail to do that.” He let out a deep sigh, pursing his lips as he had just expressed an insecurity he had. 

Your lips slowly pulled up into a smile at his confession. You were excited to get something from him after never speaking more than two words to him. “Everyone has their differences. Even all of you. I'm sure it is tough to do what you do.” You comforted him. 

Hongjoong pursed his lips. His jaw clenched as his face suddenly looked at you appalled. Here you were speaking your mind and somehow he confessed something he held deeply to you. It bothered him to know you were able to do that with him. He had hidden so much from others, even his closest friends, but all you had to do was tell him that you understood him and he opened his mouth. 

“Why are you like that?” He glared.

“Like what?” You didn’t seem affected by his glare, though you did raise a brow at his change in attitude. 

“Like you know what to say to get people on your side.” He clenched his fist. “What more do you want? You already have the others worried. Why speak to me like you understand me? Don't you know? We've killed men. We are criminals. Why associate yourself with people like that?” He stressed. 

“I never said I did.” You immediately retorted, face turning stoic. However, he watched as you licked your lips and suddenly looked down. 

“When Mingi saved me, I thought it was going to end for me. I had jumped to save that girl but at the cost of my own life.” You had an expression of thoughtfulness as you recalled that day to him. He listened intently to you, knowing that something like that wasn’t a nice experience to relive. 

“It made me realize all the regrets I had in life. Instead of feeling scared, I felt so angry with myself for not noticing sooner the life I led wasn't one I would have wanted. I had a mental breakdown after Mingi turned up, but these past few weeks made me realize that the day I found you all was the day I started to see the kind of person I wanted to be.”

“Sure, at first I thought you were all criminals and scumbags, but after getting to know you all things changed. In the eyes of the public, you are criminals and outlaws. But to me, you're the people who saved me and opened my eyes. That's worth more to me than anything.”

He didn’t know your story, just as you didn’t know his. There was a lot that you were in the dark about and Hongjoong wondered why it was that you didn’t ask about it. The boys had explained that you were a very understanding person who trusted her intuition about people. Any sane person would try their hardest to stay away from people like them, but here you were staying with them in their camp.

There would come a day when the boys would want to grow up and find their own ways, but for now Hongjoong wanted to keep them together for as long as possible. If that meant keeping you at arms length, then he was willing to put his group on the line. At least the line that would lead them to you.

“You shouldn't be reckless.” Hongjoong told you. “We won't always be there to save you.”

Your lips pulled over your teeth as you grinned at the man. “Says the outlaw.” You chuckled. You got up to leave the tent, turning back to look at the man. “Besides now we're even from when I didn't tell anyone you were in town all those weeks ago.” You teased.

“You're a menace.” Hongjoong scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully. “You'll fit right in.” He took a sip of the soup to hide the fact that he had just acknowledged you as part of the group.

A soft look cast over your features as you smiled softly. “Thanks, Captain.”

Series Masterlist

@thefrog3223 , @iarayara , @0rangemilk , @explorewithd , @detectivedoodle , @bangtanxberm , @a1i33a , @loveforred , @drunken-deitence , @0325tiny , @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest , @atinyreads , @atinytinaa , @lexiigom , @smilingtokki , @mismatchfluffysocks , @brain-empty-only-draken , @sousydive , @alex-tinyy , @h3arteyes4mingi , @onedumbho3 , @popcatx0 , @blue1amory

[deliciousangelfestival]

Secret Sorrows || 2 -B.Barnes

Summary: Former special ops, Bucky, seeks solace in a cold refuge to escape his past. However, his haunted history catches up, unraveling mysteries that persist relentlessly.

Warning: Domestic Violence. But Bucky will save the day.

Series Masterlist

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Bucky found himself in the role of Ethan's bodyguard after being hired. The following day, Y/N and Ethan shared a meal during breakfast, with Bucky standing guard alongside others. The surreal realization of Iris having a twin still lingered in Bucky's mind.

Amidst the routine, Ethan's ongoing grief manifested in his lack of appetite. A dropped spoon into his cereal soup signaled his distress, and he expressed, "I want to see grandma."

In her characteristically cold manner, Y/N replied, "She's coming. With grandfather."

Ethan's greeting turned into a nervous, almost startled, "Hii," as he spotted his grandfather approaching.

Bucky observed the sudden fear in the young boy and quietly inquired of a colleague, "What's wrong?"

The fellow bodyguard, Peter, responded hushedly, "The young master's grandfather from the mother's side, Jeremy Aston. He's strict."

Jeremy Aston. The name sent a shiver down Bucky's spine. He knew this person is the reason why Iris abruptly left the academy and never returned. 

Bucky, seeking more information, asked Peter, "Where are the grandparents from the father's side?"

Peter replied, "Ethan's other grandfather is still in jail."

Peter added, "Miss Y/N became the legal guardian after the lawyer read the will of Ethan's father two days ago. The entire Van Alen family was furious because that means Miss Y/N now holds the reins as the CEO in the Van Alen business until Ethan comes of age." 

Bucky remarked, "Wow, the lives of rich people are different."

Suddenly, an announcement echoed, "Mr. and Mrs. Aston have arrived."

Ethan whispered with a trembling voice, "Grandpa is here too?" Then he looked at Bucky. Bucky recognized the expression, reminiscent of the fear he saw in Ethan's eyes in the Antarctic.

What made this kid afraid?

The door opened, revealing two elderly figures.

Jeremy Aston is an old-fashioned man known for his strict adherence to rules. Iris rarely spoke about her father, but when she did, Bucky could sense her fear.

Ethan, displaying a mix of excitement and apprehension, quickly abandoned his chair and ran to the older woman. "Grandma."

June Aston leaned down, enveloping her grandson in a warm hug. "My baby," she exclaimed.

The room buzzed with restrained tension as Jeremy observed the scene. Bucky, still on guard, couldn't help but wonder about the secrets concealed beneath the wealthy facade of the Van Alen and Aston family.

Jeremy brushed Ethan's hair, saying, "A big boy like you shouldn't cry."

Ethan replied with a tremor, "Yes, grandpa," seeking refuge in his grandma's arms.

"Y/N, come here," Jeremy ordered.

Y/N clenched her fists, and as she approached Jeremy, suddenly she felt her cheeks sting.

'SLAP'

The crisp sound of the slap echoed in the room. Pretending not to see, everyone turned their gaze away except for Bucky. He witnessed Y/N being slapped and falling to the ground.

How could a father do this to his daughter?

Ethan hid his face, and June looked away, her expression holding back tears. It became clear why Ethan sounded scared when his grandfather's name was mentioned.

Y/N remained silent, fixing her outfit as she stood up. Jeremy, angered, questioned, "How could my grandson get kidnapped, and it made into the news? You didn't do enough!"

Maintaining her composure, Y/N calmly responded, "It's my mistake. I won't let that happen again."

In a fit of rage, Jeremy pointed his finger at her forehead, pushing her head multiple times. "You better! Ethan is the heir for both families!"

The repeated pushes threatened to make her fall again, the earlier slap still stinging in her left ear. Suddenly, she felt her forehead no longer under attack and her back being supported.

It turned out Bucky was holding her back and had grabbed Jeremy's hand. Bucky asserted, "That's enough. She's an adult, not a kid."

Stunned, everyone remained silent. No one dared to challenge Jeremy, and even he was taken aback, exclaiming, "How dare you!!!"

Jeremy sensed a strange familiarity in the man before him, though he couldn't fathom knowing someone so rude. Pulling his hand away, he dismissed Bucky's touch as if it were contamination.

"Who are you?!" Jeremy demanded.

Safely behind Bucky, Y/N felt a sense of protection, like a formidable wall shielding her from a monstrous presence.

Bucky met Jeremy's gaze and calmly asserted, "I'm a bodyguard hired by Van Alen. My duty is to protect. Miss Y/N became the legal guardian, which means she's part of the Van Alen family."

Jeremy scoffed, disdain evident. "Who even wants to hire a rogue like you?"

A surprising voice interjected, "Me."

Both Jeremy and June were taken aback as Ethan stepped forward. Liberating himself from June's arms, he ran to stand behind Bucky.

Looking up at his aunt, Ethan noticed her reddened cheeks and a trace of blood on her lips. His aunt might be stern, but she was only strict. The absolute terror lay in his grandfather, scarier than any monster he'd read about in books.

With a determined look, Ethan tugged at the fabric of Bucky's pants, prompting him to bend down. Meeting the little kid's earnest gaze, Bucky felt his eyes welling up, a silent testament to the emotions stirred by Ethan's innocent yet profound words.

"My aunt didn't do anything wrong!!!" Ethan declared with a touch of defiance. "She kept me safe even though she always works and works. She never angry and yelled at me! But why does Grandpa always bully Aunt Y/N?"

Jeremy, caught off guard, never anticipated such a candid revelation from his grandson. His brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief while his hands clenched into fists.

"Wha-? I did that because your aunt did something wrong," Jeremy stammered, attempting to justify his actions.

Bucky, now standing tall, maintained a steady gaze on Jeremy. A steely resolve flickered in his eyes, accentuating the intensity of his emotions. The clenching of his jaw and the subtle tightening of his fists revealed the simmering anger beneath the surface.

"You made my boss cry," Bucky retorted, his voice carrying an undertone of reproach. Crossing his arms in defiance, he added, "You have 5 minutes to leave this place."

Fueled with anger, Jeremy pointed an accusatory finger at Bucky, "You!!!"

In response, Bucky swiftly intercepted, breaking Jeremy's pointing finger with a swift, assertive motion.

"You seem like a bully," Bucky declared his body language exuding strength and disdain.

Jeremy, frustrated and defeated, let out a primal scream, "Arrghh!!"

The room filled with Jeremy's frustrated scream, a primal roar of indignation. Meanwhile, Y/N, now composed and in control, directed her assistant with a commanding yet restrained tone, "Send my father to the hospital."

The assistant, responding promptly, acknowledged, "Yes, ma'am."

With these actions and reactions, the chaos that had erupted moments ago began to subside. Bucky's assertiveness had not only shifted the power dynamics but also brought a semblance of justice.

Y/N's relieved sigh carried a weight of exhaustion as her eyes met Ethan's. The unspoken understanding between them lingered in the air, a testament to their shared burden.

Ethan, adopting a defensive posture, declared, "This doesn't mean we're friends," before turning away and leaving Y/N behind. His uncertain addition, "Yet," hung in the air, leaving a trace of vulnerability in his wake.

Y/N couldn't help but scoff at the theatrics of her nephew's departure. However, beneath the surface, a storm of emotions raged within her.

Sensing her turmoil, Bucky approached and gently guided her to sit down. With a swift command, he arranged for a first aid kit, his concern etched across his face.

"I'm fine," Y/N insisted, but Bucky's stern response halted her protests. 

"No, you're not. You just lost your sister, and your father hit you. That's not okay."

Y/N sighed, her words revealing the deep wounds of a lifetime. "That's how I live as an unwanted child."

Bucky flinched at her words, echoing Iris's similar sentiment haunting him. Memories resurfaced of a time when he and Iris skipped class, seeking solace under a tree. Iris, lying on his arm, had confessed, "In my family, I'm the unwanted child."

As Bucky thought about the parallels between Iris and Y/N, the mystery surrounding Y/N deepened. The shared tattoo and the mirrored expressions of sorrow all added layers to the enigma Y/N.

The atmosphere, thick with angst and uncertainty, hung over them. Bucky couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Y/N's story than met the eye. The question lingered in his mind like an unsolved puzzle: 'Who are you, Y/N?'

Author Note :

Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account. Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating. Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

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[circeius-invidioso]

👏🏻 Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.👏🏻

Those 4 Liber books. Which ones you may ask.

These ones.

Now that we are all in the same page.

✨️Let's talk about them.✨️

Not good enough to be collected.

Not bad enough to be forgotten.

And not forget them we shall.

The tall and short of the story:

They are expansion packs to the main tabletop rpg game. And you guessed correctly it add daemons etc etc.

That etc etc is.

Liber Ecstatica : Slaanesh and horny on main cults.

Liber Infectus : Nurgle and dirty plagues.

Liber Mutatis : Tzeentch and birdy mutations.

Liber Carnagia : Khorne and angy serial killers. (No the spelling error was on purpose. Cause our boy real angy)

+ an adventure on theme with the above.

A solid 3/ 10.

Unless you are a writer and need basic descriptions of daemons and fluff then its a decent 3.5/ 10.

Now.

Now that we dealt with that.

Its time.

For the tall and longer.

And in depth analysis and my personal ice cold takes and my thesis of - this would have been lit if we played the villains pov.

I could be talking about the latest books, hell I could be talking about dnd. But no me and you we are here and we are stuck and for the next 5 minutes I am the captain and I will take you on an adventure.

🐙Liber Mutatis - feat Dj BoBo and the Mutants are Alive🐙

Nothing gets me more going than referances that weren't funny even in 2007.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Mutations. From bird beaks to tentacle limbs in case you decide to multipraise Slaanesh on the side.

Because you aren't just a chicken worshipper, you are a wizard and what best way to show it that gaining an additional 30 eyeballs for all those books you want to read.

This book is your one stop to fond some very basic mutations to add to a game.

And when I say basic. I mean basic, don't expect great stuff. But I guess this might have been part of the plan...

What's the included adventure like?

You team goes in a town to find why all those apprentices have been taking such a long unauthorized day off.

Well they were kidnapped by a cult with a ringleader being a shop keeper with a Lord of Change tranformed as a parrot named Bobo that births pink eggs.

Then they feed those pink eggs to create mutant bird people.

Your job is to stop it. Not the most original ideal... but what would it be if you played the adventure from the cultists pov?

Dj Bobo and his gang of squidmen

You heard the adventure of the heroes. But how would it be if you were the bad guy?

🐙 One player would pretend to be the shopkeeper with his pet parrot that births oversized pink eggs and you have to smuggle them and hide the fact from the people who came to stop you in the city.

🐙 The second will be the immortal nun with only her face intact in the soup house cooking for the poor and using the eggs to create mutant by trying to convince the people that those pink eggs are totally edible what do you mean eggs are not pink. Maybe you are seeing things...

🐙 The third one is squidward at the gates. Basically a war veteran that lost his legs. But jokes on them. The big bird man gave you tentacles and you will be wizzing throught the sewers like a getski.

🐙 The fourth will be the person kidnapping those student wizard kids, bagging them up and send them to the ritual site alongside your grizzled unshaven gang of pain assistants.

🐙 Finally someone can even take the role of the bird. Blasting eggs before the time of the summoning happens when they will be blasting magic and turning the whole city into a lethal rave.

🪲Liber Infectus- Grandaddy Nurgle's Black Death Clown Parade🪲

If only I was joking... stick around and find out more...

What the book adds to gameplay?

A wide selection of how you and your players can seriously get down with the sickness.

Besides that all the basic nasty descriptions about the warps most unwashed denizens. Basic. But we all start from somewhere, like how a rash develops into a mouth and eats the person living next door.

What's the included adventure like?

Evil doctor spreads a plague you are there to stop it etc etc. You can see where this goes from the words "initial symptom development".

Those sick clowns I mentioned

On the final part of the adventure a clown parade, with music and performers and everything. Pops in town and is ready to kick pc ass.

And the only thing I got to say is.

Why can't I play their pov.

The idea of five sick honk honk clowns in a cart playing music and spreading the literal word on nurgle with a mutant strapped on the back. Sounds like a wild adventure.

It sounds a lot more enjoyable than sitting around asking people "so when did the first symptom begin and how are you feeling?"

Give me the clowns. With their dancing plague and their bouncing nurglings on a wacky adventure to evade the law.

Fast and furiously popping knees and bursting shins.

⚘️Liber Carnagia- Renaming Khorne into Gandhi ⚘️

Again. Wait and I will explain this as well.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Nothing. Of value. Is it obvious that this one was my least favorite?

Whats the included adventure like?

Theres a magical angy spear and your job is to be beaten down and not kill anyone. Just sit with your thumb-tacks up your ass and do nothing.

That's what the adventure is.

In the book of Khorne what you are asked to do is not fight anyone.

The irony is so deep, I screamed that's deep bro and a lovecraftian horror responded from the chasm "I know".

Putting the K of Killer back into Khorne

A murder hobo adventure. That's it. It's a lot better than going to a besieged nun house and sitting on the grass asking those raiders to pretty please let go of the hostages.

Chaos, mayhem. If I was the dm I'd put everyone in a nonr stop 4 hour rollercoaster of blood, guts, bullets and norwegian death metal music playing in the background before they all die gloriously into a massive raid burning imperial churches.

Then go to hell, become daemons and be yeeted back into the mortal world to kick even more ass.

🪷Liber Ecstatica- And the Dick Measuring Olympics 🪷

The title will again make sense soon I swear.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Cults, anything you need to know about a basic degenerate cult. From poison chuggers to vape huffers and even vegetable shovers.

This is your one stop to make a bare bones cult for your games.

What's the included adventure like?

A girl is being chased after many eligible bachelors of the city.

And your job is to stop them from doing so.

How did this adventure start?

A rich old dude didn't like that an "average" in his eyes poor, low noble had admirers. So obviously its witchcraft.

The reason is as sound as an airplane made of shredded cheese. And the book is weidly mean about it.

Like the girl is fine. But everyone is like "she is not a busty noble that cries gold so obviously theres foul play, also have I told you that she is average".

Oh the crimes against humanity. If the adventure began and the noble was like "yeah my son flayed himself while screaming her name" then sure. I'd be calling foul play.

Busting a Nut not Busting a Move

The same but instead of having 10 men fighting over a decent, everyday girl its Danny Devito art critic and the whole team tries to complete the ritual and avoiding the witch hunters from burning their "beauty".

We are already dealing with a daemon that has magically roofied the local men in order to be freed from a magical mirror. We might as well make it into a comedy skit.

This is a game about the ultimate degenerates, extreme is the only word we must know. And you know what would be even better.

All of the players are grade A spandex bdsm supermodels and have to promote gollum as a drop dead nuke level bombshell.

[colgatebluemintygel]

hello lovely toothpaste! if no one else has asked, I'd love to hear about love n longing at the edge of the world!

HELLO LOVELY KARFY WARFY !!! hehe i'm so glad you asked about this one; it is particularly near n dear to my heart .. sometimes i get very tired of trying to squeeze my mind into the brain of a british man, and decided it could be a bit of fun to write what i actually know for once :o))) so !!! this is a muggle au set in nz and it follows each of the 4 main laddos throughout their final year of uni

remus is the deeply strange spawn of hippies who walks on stilts, plays the trombone, and has a thing for ugly vests. he subsists mainly off of soup and broke up with tonks just before the events of the main story <33 (this r is so special to me i could talk about him for hours .. my fav freak fr...)

sirius is a fine arts student n in a band (of the post-punk persuasion), and his plot line largely revolves around identity: he's māori but was adopted by pākehā (who he is now estranged from), and it will follow his journey of learning abt his ancestry and reclaiming his culture and language (this particular plotline is extremelyyy dear 2 me ..) (also fun fact takurua is the te reo name for the dog star and was instrumental in early māori sea faring !! in this fic takurua is sirius's birth name, which was anglicised when he was adopted)

peter is thoroughly stuck in a rut;; he's doing a degree he hates and feels like his friends' lives are moving on and he's just stuck in the same place waiting to catch up . enter fabian, a chaotic party boy who studies art with sirius (they hate each other lol), who helps peter to come out of his shell and forge his own identity ;; but where peter is discovering himself n falling in love, fabian is self-destructing ...

JAMES works at a supermarket <3 he dropped out of med school after having a nervous breakdown and is currently taking a gap year ;; he texts the wrong number one night (he tried to buy a fish tank off facebook marketplace and got scammed Lol ;; they gave him what they thought was a fake number !) n becomes deeply obsessed w the snarky recipient of his texts (wonder who....!)

so yes... messy early 20's shenanigans !! wolfstar friends w benefits nonsense !! ft many gigs and pints and late night jazz and remus getting chased by sea lions <3

[hetaliaasean-incorrect]

Might be a little bit OOC

Original idea : Easily Offended Friends -Studio C

--------------------

*In a restaurant*

Phillipines : Man, this turkey sandwich is so good! I'm so glad we came here.

Malaysia : I know, the food is always good here, and it's great value too.

Phillipines : Yeah, it is

Vietnam : Man, you guys are always so positive. It's really great.

Vietnam :I know some people that are negative, and they can't see anything good in anything , and people like that are just not very pleasant to be around.

Singapore : You guys, I'm right here.

*An awark silent *

Vietnam : What?

Singapore : I said I'm right here. You're talking about me like I'm not here, but I am, and I don't like what you're saying about me.

Thailand :Sing , I don't think she was referring to you...

Singapore :How could she not be? You guys know how much I hate sandwiches and love being negative.

Thailand : I didn't know you hated sandwiches.

Singapore :Why do you think I'm eating soup, Thai? It's like a hundred degrees outside.

Thailand : I guess that makes sense.

Vietnam :Look, Sing, I wasn't referring to you, really.

Singapore : Promise?

Vietnam : I'm promise

Singapore : Sorry guys, I got out of hand there, you know. I don't want to be that guy, you know, who's so prideful and unwilling to back down and probably pops their collar and ....

Malaysia : Guys, I'm right here.

Singapore : Mal, I didn't mean you.

Malaysia : Look, I can't help it that I'm better and more confident of everything than you guys. And sure, I'm physically built as if Michaelangelo chiselled me from stone. * shows them his "muscles "* But don't put that on me.

Phillipines : Okay, so you a little cocky, there's nothing wrong with that...

Malaysia : OH, so the truth comes out. You know what? Most of the time, I'm just acting confident to cover up my insecurities cause I don't want to be the guy who's overly sensitive about everything

*That unnamed Asean guy, walks past by *

Unnamed Asean : *whimpers * I AM RIGHT HERE.

Vietnam :Do we know you?

Unnamed Asean :You don't even know me? You've been coming here for 10 years, and I have all your birthdays memorized * Hands Singa a cake* Happy Birthday.

Singapore :* receives the cake and looks at them * You guys forgot about my birthday.

Unnamed Asean : I know! * then walks away *

Phillipines : It's not like we didn't notice you. You're clearly not the kind of person we'd all forget.

Indonesia :I'm right here.

Phillipines :Oh, geez! * All 5 of them startles *How long have you been there?

Indonesia : I gave all of you guys a ride here.

Phillipines : I remember being driven here by a faceless orb....

Indonesia : Yeah, yeah, I know, Okay, I was voted most forgettable in my country, didn't end up in the yearbook . But at least I'm not one of those people who steal food from other people's plates * looks at Vietnam stealing Mal and Thai's food*

Vietnam : Indo, Phil's right here.

Phillipines :What?

Singapore : * looks at the watch* Guys, we've got to get out of here. The meeting starts in 15 minutes .

Malaysia : * checks his phone * It looks like we're going to have to take main street. The cops just shut down the freeway cause they're looking for a homicidal maniac.

Thailand : Guys, I'm right here. * leaves with a 🔪 *

----------------------

That unnamed Asean who we still not know yet

[the-apprentice-lia]

i just watched hunger games 1 after rereading the books and i have some… thoughts.

so everyone goes on about how the movies are so inaccurate to the books, but (and i say this as an avid bookworm) i don’t think they really are. the biggest inaccuracies i noted were as follows:

a) rue and katniss don’t talk about their different districts — however, i do think this wasn’t terrible as they had to amend the plot at several points since we didn’t have katniss as a narrator, like when caesar explains what tracker jackers are.

b) the one that stood out the most to me: the mutts are just… dogs. not tributes, children, that have had their eyes gouged out and their bodies twisted and warped to be another pawn for the games, even in death. children whose families, to our knowledge, do not even receive their babies’ bodies. and this was such a big detail to overlook since this is precisely the reason katniss is so horrified, and precisely the reason the brutality of the games is made so clear to us, the viewers: because these children will always be nothing but pieces on a game board to the people in power. things to be used, warped, destroyed, and then discarded. because when katniss looks into glimmer’s (or her mutt’s) eyes, it finally hits her how insignificant the capitol views the tributes. how even when you’re winning, there’s something to be used against you. she even sees rue, the girl she saved, the little twelve year old she buried, rabid and frothing at the mouth with hate. and this is when she sees, in perfect clarity, the grotesquerie of the games.

c) key details were omitted, like when haymitch fell off the stage, when madge gave katniss the pin, when peeta threw haymitch’s glass against the wall in the train car, how katniss threw peeta into the vase after the interviews and peeta’s hands were lacerated, how the soup from the parachute was actually broth and not the infamous lamb soup with plums that katniss loves (and subsequently, the ice-breaker in caesar’s interview being different), and of course, the infamous black buttercup. i mean, all in all, these were quite annoying— but not to the point where they changed the main message of the movie: the corrupting nature of power and how this breeds cruelty and uncompassion for human life. i think they stayed true to this, and that’s why i believe the films are a worthy tribute to the books!

furthermore, to compensate for the loss of katniss’ inner narrative spelling out key details for us in the books, the film does actually come up with pretty clever ways to work around this. like, as previously mentioned, when caesar explains on live television, to a capitol audience, what tracker jackers are and why they’re so deadly, which is key to the scene where katniss cuts the nest down. or, when the parachutes come with little notes; since we can’t see katniss putting together that a good kiss = a reward, we are actually told by the note in the soup parachute. “you call that a kiss, sweetheart?” we also have further insight into seneca crane’s death, which is so breathtakingly poetic, and symbolic, in my opinion. well, at least as poetic as a death can be. in addition, even though the books do mention it, we see in real time how haymitch flatters and strokes and fights for sponsors for katniss and peeta. this is so significant, as a man who has been forced to mentor years and years of tributes, to watch them die over and over again, and to gradually lose all hope that they’ll survive— this man is the one that is fighting so hard for katniss and peeta. we can see that better in the film. so the inconsistencies, in my opinion, can be overlooked as we will never truly have a film that is 100% loyal to the books. (unless it’s lord of the rings but shhh)

but what really sealed it home for me was something that the books actually didn’t do: we have the sense as viewers, a lot of the time, that we are intruding upon a profoundly personal moment. like with katniss and peeta in the cave. but that’s exactly what the film is trying to drive home. and that’s what makes it so fantastic. because we are intruding. we shouldn’t be watching such a deeply personal and vulnerable moment for katniss, who never shows her feelings if she can’t help it, and peeta, who shows his like an open book. it’s wrong on both accounts because in addition to these children being forced to fight brutally and bloodily to the death, they have to put on a pantomime as they do! i mean, what could be more unjust than a girl who’s being put to death being forced to give everyone a show on the way out? when the camera is just a bit too close, when there is no soothing filler music, when we can see them, raw and real, two kids afraid to die in an unfamiliar forest far away from their home, we feel uncomfortable. because why should we get to see this? how can this be fair? surely, they can have just this one thing. but that’s the whole point. they can’t. and we— watching from the same perspective as the capitol audience, i would like to emphasise— feel complicit in robbing these two kids of a brief moment of respite. that is what the film tries, and succeeds brilliantly, to convey.

i’m sure there’s still more to cover, but this is just what i noticed and felt the need to write about from my first time watching ‘the hunger games’. in conclusion: the film was actually fantastic if you don’t nitpick the small details. i think it’s a raw and real and fantastic tribute to the books, and should be treated as such.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, currently cheering, laughing, and digging in for what looks like an amazing season. You know there are a lot of ways they could have told the story of Buck realizing he's bi, but by far they went for the most hilarious and ridiculous route and I a HERE for this kind of nonsense. ABC seriously said "Okay, Buck's gonna get really jealous of Eddie's new guy friend...who he spends more time with than his girlfriend who Buck isn't jealous of (and who hasn't spoken in 4 episodes and is known for being the babysitter when Eddie needs to spend time with his new guy friend). Buck will go to ridiculous lengths to get Eddie's attention, including loudly clanking around the gym while sweaty and playing a sport he hates, while sweaty. But then, get this, the new friend will confront Buck and Buck will conclude for some reason THAT'S the person whose attention he wanted, something even the new friend doesn't believe, but he kisses him anyway. How funny would that be." ABC, and Tim specifically, you are not fooling anyone about where this is going.

Seriously I'm so happy, even if Buck's first kiss wasn't Eddie. Tommy isn't going to be around long it seems (especially if he has any sense of self preservation) and maybe Marisol will be lucky to get a full sentence in before she's out the door the way they're going. But I think this is the best way to tell this particular self discovery story, not in an overly angsty, stressful way but in a fun way that's over the top. I'm happy about the way they did it, and am definitely curious about how they will develop Buck through the season. Let's buckle in my friend, we're finally getting some good soup 🎉🎉🥂🥂!!!

My friend, I am still giddy over how much fun I had all around with that episode! Maddie and Chim were in peak Sassy Sibling mood with Buck, we even got some Mom-Mode Activated Maddie, we got silly call shenanigans, we got a heartbreaking call, we got some Grant family drama bringing up stuff from the past, we got happy smiling Eddie, we got sass-master Ravi, AND we got kicked-puppy pouty faced Buck begging Eddie to pay attention to him all episode and still somehow coming up with the wrong answer to his jealousy question 🤣 Epitome of that "the risk I took was calculated but MAN am I bad at math" meme. I love him.

I was reserving my judgment to see how this was going to play out, but so far, I am not hating it! It really does feel like Tommy Knows What's Up, but he gets to kiss Buck out of it, so why not? and while I don't ship them, the kiss was REALLY soft and sweet and Buck is being pursued for once so like, I'm willing to see how Tommy moves Buck's story forward. It definitely gave me the vibes that this is going to be the thing that helps push Buck to his "oh" moment about Eddie (hopefully with an accompanying montage to shut up the "this came out of nowhere" people 🙄). I'm typically not on the "this character needs to date around and use other people to be "ready" for the relationship they ACTUALLY want" train, but so far this storyline was handled well. Like, it's SO clearly about Eddie but also it's SO clear Buck has not connected those dots yet but Tommy HAS. So it's not like Buck *knows* and is stringing Tommy along waiting for Eddie to be single. It has the potential to be a sweet, fun, joyous experience for Buck without ever undercutting his relationship with Eddie because again, Tommy sure seemed to know whose attention Buck was REALLY looking for. For now, I'm on board to see how the ride plays out! And with Tim being better at keeping the stories focused on the mains, I think we are going to get some REALLY good Buck moments with his family around all this, while Tommy does the job of a side character and moves the story along.

"maybe Marisol will be lucky to get a full sentence in before she's out the door" Please, the sound I just made! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Let's hope it's no more than that, I cannot take her smiling like her head is about to start spinning around (plus the actress needs to GO, we don't need that nastiness here!). I am cryyyying though at the way Eddie's girlfriends have never even registered for Buck because at no point did they interfere with his time with Eddie and Chris, but Eddie spends time with ONE (1) dude, and Buck is just BESIDE himself about it. Poetic. Baby boy you are sooooo close to a realization! Also, not the synopsis calling out Eddie reevaluating his relationship the second Buck gets into one 🤣🤣🤣 Boys you are NOT subtle.

We are being FED and I am strapped in for the ride! Lets goooooo! The joy and heart and soul of the show has been restored and it feels sooo good!

[itwoodbeprefect]

Writing patterns tag game!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

i was tagged by @flownwrong - thank you!! for the sake of the experiment, i skipped the two notably older fics that i posted to ao3 recently enough to show up in this top 10. it was a different time, man. (i mean, hardly, but i'm skipping them anyway.)

-

1) “Your hair smells nice,” Pa says.

2) Of course Pat takes notice when Pran gets his guitar out of its bag and takes it to the couch, but there’s an art to these things.

3) After all of the commotion, all of the stress, all of the dread, Steve finds the one face he’s looking for in the crowd of teens in formal wear.

4) Billy keeps saying fucking no no no to Joe about the working girls, until eventually the girls get bored and leave.

5) For three months, there’s a girl.

6) Hutch wakes up alone, but only nominally.

7) They fall into his apartment with Jill’s hand in his back pocket and his mouth attached to her clavicle – but they do fall, and when he adds a habit-driven attempt to kick the door shut, he ends up with a mouth full of her soft brown hair and she has to grab his shoulder to avoid being tripped by the doormat.

8) After they sell the restaurant, Kamekona doesn’t keep the name they gave it.

9) Most stabbings, Starsky has found in his years on the job, happen either out on the street or in the kind of apartment building mothers wouldn’t want their sons to live in.

10) When Hutch hops down the last few steps and exits the building door, there’s a familiar red car already waiting for him.

-

i think the main thing about opening lines for me is that i often try to cram in as much setup as possible, because there's a good chance the fic is mostly one dialogue scene and i've already written that part and now i'm forced to explain to my reader that they're not just voices hovering in indefinable darkness (and the easy way is to do that up top if i can, so it doesn't have to interrupt the flow of the dialogue). and then sometimes (1, 5, 6, maybe 8) i attempt to avoid throwing everyone headfirst into a soup of words (i love a ridiculously long sentence! 7, my beloved) by keeping it intentionally short and snappy. there are lots of signal words, too! two afters, when, of course, for three months. i still like "most stabbings" (9) as opening words. 4 and 5 both have the "girl" in them, which means nothing, but is still a fun coincidence in this sequence.

i'll tag (as always, with no pressure!) @redgoldblue @actingcamplibrarian @luredin @dedkake @stephmcx and anyone else who writes fic and feels like doing this. this is a fun thing to read! i'd like to see them!

[thatcoyperson]

Alright were saying F it we ball and I'm posting writing for the Overthrown AU cause I feel like it [yes it has a name now, yes I'm insane]

Honestly if I put any more thought into this au this'll probably become outdated but whatever it's fine I'm proud of it either way

[@stiffyck enyoj]

• -------- • -------- • -------- •

“Scar,” BDubs toyed with a Royal Emerald, moving it around with one hand with his other resting across his stomach, “Can I be honest with you for a second?”

Scar looked at where BDubs was slouched in his mini throne through the side of his sunglasses, Hotguy bow loaded and pulled back, pointing towards the stone brick wall of the throne room. “Of course you can, my mossy friend!” His smile was evident in his voice, and he let go of the arrow after he spoke. A piece of flint on the arrow rest scraped along a bit of iron near the arrow nock, setting the arrow ablaze before it cut its way through a banner, leaving a jagged hole which was charred around the edges.

He pushed himself to sit upright more, staring at the green gem in his hand, “Look, I know I’m the one who made Ren king and all, but he’s not-” BDubs laughed as he spoke, “He’s not doing a very good job at it, I have to say.”

BDubs looked up from the emerald and watched Scar walk over towards the main throne Ren used, taking a seat and setting the bow beside it, “Oh no I agree,” Scar said, resting his elbow on the armrest and propping his chin on his hand, “Like I don’t mean to doubt your wisdom BDubs, but he used magenta glazed terracotta to mark out road plans, and use of that block is an unforgivable sin! It's a crime against minecraft that it even exists!” he said, hitting the armrest with the fist of his free hand for dramatic effect, “Plus the whole economy thing I guess.”

BDubs laughed at Scars drama about the whole situation. “No you’re right! I thought that he’d be a good fit! He was planning things out around the shopping district and the server was a mess, so I thought that he might be able to… I dunno, take some action to start cleaning it up!” he explained, putting the emerald down and moving his hands around as he spoke to emphasize his words. “And I mean to give him some credit, he did do that, but- just between you and me Scar” he leant over the arm of his smaller throne and lowered his voice to a hushed whisper, Scar mirroring his actions, “I think- I think the diamonds went to his head.”

Scar gave a small nod. “Good!” BDubs sat back properly in his chair, “Good I’m glad we’re on the same page with that-”

“Y’know we could do something about it,” Scar suggested casually, returning to his former position on the throne, head resting on his hand, “Since neither of us like having him as king. And I know other hermits don’t exactly like him either.”

“I suppose so, yes,” BDubs said slowly.

Shifting in the throne to look forwards down the throne room, “I mean we already know about the soup gang and their shenanigans, plus Grian’s complained to me so many times about it. Though, that's mostly been about royal emeralds lately, and the general diamond loss.” leaning to the side, he rested his cheek on his hand, tapping his temple with his finger which was covered by the archers glove he still wore. “Which I mean I can agree with. I was in charge of a shopping district in season 7 and it wasn’t that hard to keep track of the diamonds.”

BDubs nodded along as Scar spoke, turning his head to look over at the man sat on the king's throne.

“Like I understand that those diamonds belonged solely to the shopping district, but so should these! Sure, it can be a little bit tempting to spend those diamonds on personal stuff, but an important part of a good leader is being able to have people trust you to do the right thing, y’know, like not use the server diamonds only for personal decoration,” Scar glared over at one of the many piles of diamond ore that littered the castle.

“I know that sounds hypocritical cause of the diamond trees and diamond throne, but the thing is that was decided by me, you and Grian- well the throne was, and the diamond trees were for the shopping district. I mean they were already sittin’ there doing nothing! Plus I used them to pay back to people who helped fix the shopping district up and make roads. These diamonds were meant to be redistributed back to the hermits to try and balance the economy. But here they sit, doing nothing! They probably have dust on them by now!”

Scar let out a long sigh and slid down the throne, then laughed to himself. “The more I talk about it the more frus- fr- fru- frust- hang on,” BDubs chuckled along with Scar as he stumbled over the word. “Frus- frustrated- there! The more I talk about it the more frustr- gosh dang it. You know what I mean!”

“I do, I do. And I really- I can’t help but agree with you,” a quiet laugh came through as BDubs spoke, sounding far more exasperated than a typical BDubs laugh. His forehead was rested on his hand, facing forwards down the throne room as he spoke. “He started off doing so well too! Like I know I already said this but he did! He had the whole quest system to give the diamonds back in a more evenly-distributed way so that we didn’t have a few hermits with hundreds of diamonds while everyone else has so much less, and I mean it was a pretty good system! It worked!”

“I mean personally,” Scar pushed himself to sit upright in the throne, looking over and putting his hand to his chest, “I would have preferred to keep the diamonds, but I guess the quest system worked.”

“I- You’re biased! You had a good chunk of the diamonds! You don't get a say here.” Being just as expressive as he normally is, BDubs shot up in the chair to lean over the arm towards Scar, pointing towards his friend and giving him a well-meaning, though very angry looking glare.

The overzealous reaction caused Scar to lean back in the chair, his legs pulling up towards his chest a little bit as he gave a full laugh. He sighed, “I guess you’re right, yeah yeah. But I worked hard for those diamonds. My hands were calloused for weeks I say, weeks! …I sound like Grian right now,” he laughed to himself at the small observation, and BDubs once again joined in.

“You do, yeah. But clearly we’re both on the same page here,” he got up from his small throne, mossy cloak dragging across the seat before falling and hovering just above his ankles. Scar watched from behind his sunglasses as he walked to stand directly in front of the throne, facing the man sat in it. “Neither of us like Ren being king, so, why don’t we do something about it like you said? You do look good sitting on the throne, after all.”

It took a long moment for Scar to clock what BDubs was implying, his expression visibly changing and lighting up once he did. “Wait, are you… saying that we should dethrone him?” His tone was almost hopeful. BDubs did nothing more than smile in response. “Because that's what I’m picking up here.”

“That is exactly what I’m saying. Like come on, what’s Ren gonna do if his advisor and knight both turn on him? I’m almost certain no one else in his court would oppose us,” he opened up his arms, holding his hands to the side as though he were holding something in each. “We team up to overthrow the king - maybe get the Soup Group or Resistance Assistance involved as a distraction - and then once Ren’s out of the way you take the throne for yourself. Then we can start making changes to get the server back to some sort of normalcy.”

“You don’t want the throne?” BDubs seemed shocked at Scars question. “I mean you’re probably just as qualified as I am, seeing since we seem to be having the same thoughts about it.”

“Oh no no no! I’m not one to take the throne myself, more of a king-maker than a king, you feel me?”

Scar silently stared at BDubs for a moment, then signed and sunk down in the throne slightly, “I guess…”

“Yeah. Out of the two of us, you’re definitely more the leader type. Plus, you did a great job in Season 7 as mayor,” BDubs stretches his hand out towards Scar, who's still slouched in the throne, “So, whaddya say Scar? It must be nice being on the throne again.”

A long moment passed where Scar stared at BDubs’ outstretched hand in silent thought, before he pushed himself off the throne and walked over to meet his friend. Grabbing onto his hand, Scar smiled. “Let’s do it.”

[maela-the-menace]

Pspspspspsps shorts wars fans come get ur food

Post

@Datchia

Sooo guess who just hacked Danno’s phone! Honestly it was ridiculously easy, he didn’t even have a security system active. C’mon dude, you have a YouTube channel. But that’s not the main reason I’m here. My investigation continues! It’s… got more evidence… here, this is a snippet of a convo I saw between him and Riggy.

[screenshot start]

Sewer Rat: Why did you send that to Cdot?

Danno: because it’s funny, obviously

Sewer rat: yea I know but why a console and a finger??? Where did you even get the finger!

Danno: the console has a pikmin game downloaded onto it, and you don’t need to know where I got the finger.

Sewer Rat: alr. The blood wasn’t yours though right?

Danno: no don’t worry

Sewer rat: alr good

[screenshot end]

My guys did you see that? Danno sent what to cdot?? What???

#wtf #Danno cal drawings #Riggy the Runky #excuse me but what the fuck #where did he get the finger #where did he get the blood #I really hope he doesn’t see this

(7,428 notes)

Comments

@Fucker-of-mothers

There's no way this is real

@hotdog-cop

Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if this was real. Riggy is a horrible influence

@EntWithAHoodie

Dude if Danno has tumblr you’re probably fucked.

Reblog

@Datchia

Here’s a follow up with the Cdot situation…

[Screenshot start]

Pikmin Bro: DUDE WTF

Danno: what?

Pikmin Bro: YOU SENT ME A FINGER! AND A BLOOD COVERED CONSOLE!

Danno: The console has Pikmin downloaded onto it! :)

Pikmin Bro: BUT WHY THE FINGER???

Danno: Just because.

Pikmin Bro: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE FINGER? OR THE BLOOD?

Danno: Secret

Pikmin Bro: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SECRET?

[Screenshot end]

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

So. It turns out that Danno isn’t the only criminal of the group. I uh… oops?

[Screenshot start]

Danno: Pear

Danno: Dude

Danno: Where are you

Gun Giver: Dawg what

Gun Giver: I was with Melon

Danno: I need weapons.

Gun Giver: Dawg I just gave you a shipment

Danno: That was today?

Gun Giver: I’m not gonna respond anymore.

[Screenshot end]

So yeah. Pear is apparently a weapons dealer.

RoyalPear #Danno cal drawings #RoyalMelon #I think #i’m scared

(7,539 notes)

Comments

@fruity-felon

What were Pear and Melon doing tho 🧐🧐🧐

@WenchOfTime

@fruity-felon I don’t think that’s what you’re supposed to me focusing on here

@BungoBob

What did I just discover here???

@Time-For-Soup

@WenchOfTime but seriously what were they doing tho???

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

I’M SCARED I’M TERRIFIED I’M MORTIFIED I’M SCREAMING-

[Screenshot start]

Unknown Number: Hello? You’re Danno right?

Danno: Yes??? Who is this?

Unknown Number: Melon.

Danno: Oh ok

[Unknown Number changed to Materwelon]

Materwelon: Hey fuck you for that

Danno: ?

[Materwelon changed to The Melon Man]

Danno: WHAT.

The Melon Man: I taught myself how to code! And hack. It’s really fun!

Danno: I’m scared

The Melon Man: You should be :)

[Screenshot end]

That smiley face will haunt me forever and I think he’s about to start hunting me down.

#RoyalMelon #Danno cal drawings #I live in fear

(8,473 notes)

Comments

@OrbleTheGreat

Datchia I recommend RUNNING.

@Man-Of-Cheeseballs

Drop off the face of the internet and I think you’ll probably be fine… maybe… probably…

@Jiblits-vorp

I really doubt this is real but please make more

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

I don’t know how Danno hasn’t noticed this yet considering how many people have seen it, but it’s probably a good thing. I’ll keep going until I’m noticed by someone relevant to the situation… here’s more. A lot more.

[screenshots start]

Danno: Pear your boyfriend is scaring me

Gun Giver: Danno Melon is not my boyfriend.

Danno: I never mentioned it was Melon though

Gun Giver: Dawg, you act like I wasn’t the one to give him your contact

Danno: But I still could’ve been referring to someone else

Gun Giver: Dawg Melon is fucking terrifying

Gun Giver: Also he told me about hacking your phone earlier

Gun Giver: He said that, and I quote, “anyone with a sliver of coding knowledge could hack into it if they tried.” He thinks you need a better security system

Danno: nahh it’ll be fine

—————

Danno: Hey Jonny you’re interested in code right?

Kirby man: Uhhhh yea I guess?

Danno: Talk to Melon about it

Kirby man: Out of all the things you’ve said to me, why is that the most ominous?

Danno: I could send you one of the packages to be more ominous

Kirby man: Ok nevermind that’s the most ominous thing you’ve ever said to me…

Danno: Ok I’ll just send another to Cdot

Kirby man: What in the fuck are you sending to Cdot?

Danno: :)

Kirby man: I’m scared

—————

Pikmin Bro: WHERE DID YOU GET A DEAD BLOODY RAT AND WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU SEND IT TO ME.

Danno: Riggy gave it to me

Pikmin Bro: Please don’t send more blood-covered objects

Danno: I will continue sending you blood covered objects

Pikmin Bro: Seriously don’t I don’t need bloodstains on my carpet

Danno: If it gets stained I’ll help you clean it up!

Pikmin Bro: The fact that you’re confident you can clean up a bloodstain is scary. One time I cut my finger cutting vegetables and the blood got on my couch. It’s still there and I’ve tried everything…

Danno: You just don’t know the process yet

Pikmin Bro: What the hell is “the process”

Danno: The process of cleaning blood.

Pikmin Bro: …

Pikmin Bro: I think it’s time to end this conversation.

—————

Kirby Man: YOU GOT ME WRAPPED UP IN A GANG.

Danno: Wait Pear didn’t tell you about it???

Kirby Man: YOU KNEW?

Kirby Man: Is that why Pear was always dealing with “stuff?”

Danno: Oh definitely.

Kirby Man: Why didn’t you tell me though?

Danno: I thought you knew!

Kirby Man: Please don’t tell me you’re also doing something illegal…

Danno: …

Kirby Man: Danno what did you do.

Kirby Man: Danno. What did you do.

Danno: Murder!

Kirby Man: WHAT THE FUCK.

[screenshots end]

Y'know I feel like Melon’s comment about hacking Danno’s phone might be directed at me but I might be going crazy from this

#Danno cal drawings #Jonny razer #Cdot #RoyalPear #RoyalMelon

(8,583 notes)

Comments

@Fruity-felon

Hmmmmmmmmm Danno implied Pear and Melon are dating? Are they? Possibly?

@Greatergingivitis

Holy shit

@Jabe-mota

Sooooooo Melon definitely knows about you right?

Some stuff is supposed to be bolded and italicized and some stuff is supposed to be a smaller font but it got lost through the Googledocs-to-Tumblr journey and I’m too lazy to fix all this sooooooooooo deal with it lol