#that was SO worth waking up at 5am for. few things are.

[syn4k]

pix if you're reading this or scrolling the tag or whatever, hi loved the finale you've really outdone yourself this season! worldbuilding and anthropology is a huge interest of mine as well, and it's been amazing watching you and the other emperors craft a pretty damn hefty and amazing sequel to empires s1. despite all the lore and the Copper King crumbs though my favorite part of the series has to have been Winchester the dodo. thank you for the he. also we are all looking at you like this

- Sincerely,

Me and Probably Most Of The Rest of the Fandom

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Rise of the TMNT headcanons because I feel uhhhsodk emotions or something

Warnings: anxiety , gore mention, trauma/PTSD mentions, kidnapping, yelling mentions, claustrophobia mention, if I missed any please lmk ‼️‼️

Donatello ( my favorite hands fucking down )

LOVES "it's always sunny in Philadelphia" and relates to Dennis wayyy too much

( also made a joke about how splinter is frank and he was actually cool with it )

Likes those HYPERBOP and songs like that

At 5am and raph is waking up for the day and he finds Donnie in his room fully awake

"Ive been up for 3 days everything is haunted everybody's evi-"

He also likes twentyone pilots

House of gold, taking my time on my ride, and car radio are his favorites

Actually hates monster ( like the drink ) but he has a can in his room from 2020 that he just poured out for decoration

( honestly I can't even really hate on it I think 2020 just ruined it LMAO )

Has no blankets. Sleeps with a single sheet and a unwashed unsheeted pillow.

Is one of those people that people mistake for way older

Yokai thinks he's at least 18-20 and get so freaked out finding out he's actually just 14

( he loves the attention )

He actually likes HOMESTUCK 😭

( this is based on my friend who likes Homestuck and they remind me of Donatello to some degree )

Has a fan that hasn't had a break since 2016

Maybe longer

Has seasonal depression

He likes to be with April or doing something during the winter because of it to distract himself

April and raph are good with helping him

Leo knows but he knows to just stay out of his way and leave him the fuck alone

And Mikey hasn't really been told because Donnie feels like he's burdening people with his problems ( he didn't even want Leo to know but he just caught on )

He even feels guilty for dragging April and raph into it

Him and Mikey LOVE LOVE LOVED spiderverse

( Donnie got the movie illegally before it even came out )

This mother fucker definitely fell to his knees for spider punk im so sorry

This same mother fucker also probably loved Danganronpa...

He doesn't really like southpark but some episodes get to him

LOVES GHOSTFACE

TO ANOTHER LEVEL

NO ONE CAN LOVE GHOSTFACE AS MUCH AS HIM

Actually probably has purple injected into his veins

"yeah my veins bruise in the blink of an eye and I can't move my body sometimes but so what? It was worth it??"

hates on dream so hard....

DONT HUG ME IM SCARED AKWNWJJF

ALL OF THE BOYS WATCHED IT ( maybe not raph tho actually )

He actually made discord ( idk if I'm even joking or not )

Would this be a good time to add a picture of what I think human Donnie would look like?

Uhhh yeah

Yeah I think so

Ok next

Leonardooooooooo

Just fyi this shit is gonna be so angsty

It will dip I promise

He can't get enough of those "drake the type" memes

But also low-key he is drake

Has a hello kitty clock in his room that actually works for him

He was that annoying ass kid who would say "I can scream like a girl" and then scream to the top of their fucking lungs

The ADHD was tooo muuchhh

So he just basically climbs walls who cares

He's on the ceiling? What's new.

Ok so spieerpunk had don to his knees but Leo was all for Miguel

" NOOOO MY SPIDER PAPIIIII- " *splinter right fucking there*

Daddy issues just crawling out of all of their skin ANYWAYS

Can't draw for shit but loves art

The way he words things makes him sound like a complete gaslighter but he's just stupid

"?? I don't gaslight?? HUH no seriously what did I do?"

The Mario movie possessed him for a while tbh

DIP!

even hours after him returning from the prison realm he was dissociating so bad he was crying to feel something

Just a few weeks later, he isn't better yet by any means he's just ok enough to function

Someone dropped a plate or something ( I probably need to rewatch the scene before I make headcanons for it LMAO ) or dropped a pot, something loud

And he practically went down with it

He fell to the floor and stayed there for a bit

He didn't cry or say anything

Then Mikey tapped his shoulder and he fucking SNAPPED

He will never forgive himself

🫶🏼

The CRUCIAL NIGHTMARESS

*rubs my hands in evilness*

He could feel the same AIR as the prison realm at times

He smelt the same scent

Raph, draxum, and Casey had to sleep in the same room for a while so they would hear him

But sometimes he didn't loudly jerk himself awake

Sometimes it played through and he woke up and didn't make a peep

Sometimes they knew and sometimes they didn't

Most of the time one of them would just wake up because of instinct and see him just frozen

Can't handle gore now

He used to but can't anymore

It reminds him of 1

The kraang

And 2

Seeing his brothers eye all fucked up like that was too much

There were times he didn't even know who he was anymore

He was scared to leave his room for a while and felt such bad guilt for it

While they're out on a mission and Leo's just curled up in his room blowing up raphs phone

Raph wishes he could say something like "oh how the tables have turned" but this isn't what he wanted at all

Uhh ok sudden switch up

HE LOVES BO BURNHAMMMM

Him and Don and Mikey listen to Will Wood

SHAYFER JAMES TOO

JUST THOSE TYPES OF ARTIST

Mixed with late 90s to early 2000s

"erm.... what da flip ;-; NO STFU IM JUST KIDDING STOP BULLYING ME ITS A JOKE-"

Him if he was a hummmaannn

+ maybe some scars on his back

Raphael

Blind in his one eye and low-key has bad eyesight in his other one

He can still see decently but it's pretty much fucked

He likes squishmellows but he knows Mikey LOVES them so if he buys/ finds one, he'll give it to Mikey

He's more of a "childhood stuff animal nostalgia" anyways

Doesn't like to cuss but if he's REALLY scared, he'll let a loud and quick "FUCK -" slip out of his mouth

Or if he's angry hell mumble "this bitch-" or something like that

He feels like he's not doing enough as a brother but genuinely forgets that he needs to take care of himself

Not physically but more so emotionally

He beats himself up when making a mistake even if it was out of kindness

He doesn't think things all the way through and just immediately jumps to "I wanna help people!"

And ends up making a bigger mess so he feels like a bad person

( people have reassured him he's not but he plays back how people get mad at him when he messes up and he doesn't know how to forgive himself if someone got THAT mad at him )

He sometimes just gets this burst of love and just hugs one of his siblings or friends

I think he doesn't develop feelings easily ( infact it's kinda hard for him to, not in a bad way )but one time there was a yokai, about his size, and they really enjoyed each other

He didn't tell anyone but he got her number and they still talk and he might have small feelings for her

The reason he hates being alone because it's a PTSD thing ( that only got worse after the kraang thing )

( he was alone and in danger for most of the movie, the only reason he wasn't freaking out because he knew if he did he was fucked )

And he got possessed before he could even lose his shit

But basically I think he got kidnapped by a hunter and held him captive ( either chained, or in a cage ) for 2 days before splinter found him

( yes they searched for him for 2 days )

The hunter would shoot his gun next to the cage ( or restraints ) he was in to purposely mess with him

And if he cried he would get in his face and start yelling until raph forced himself to stop crying because of fear

It was traumatic

Splinter has his own trauma from losing his fucking kid for 2 days, but it still fucks with raph badly

He still remembers it so vividly that it feels like it had only happened a week ago

So add that in top of the kraang doing what they did to him.....

He was only holding it together for Leo tbh

He can't go to certain areas or he'll start to hear the hunter yelling in his face again, like a hallucination

It's gotten a little bit better over time but the kraang set him so far back

He was also already claustrophobic, but if anyone tries to hold him down now he just immediately throws them off

And hard

Anything that really reminds him too much of the past he just starts freaking out

So he doesn't like to be alone :)

I could do a separate post for this maybe

But moving on

Any early 2000s song from anyone or any 2000 themed song is his SHIT

They did a karaoke night and he did Brittany spears ( yes I know that's like late 90s but yk THAT CATEGORY )

He put on a blonde wig tho and was actually kinda feeling it at some point

He LOVES walking around at night

Just strolling

He loves food. He eats everything

There is nothing he won't eat

He just loves everything

I forgot his scar sadly but here 😔‼️💔

( the nose piercing is fake he's too scared to get one HELP )

Mikey:

This lil shit STEALS

HE USES HIS INNOCENCE TO HIS ADVANTAGE

And I sleeps fine at night with all of it in his room.

ADVENTURE TIMEEE

he loves cartoons

Adult cartoons, children cartoons

If it's animated he wants it injected into his spinal fluid

His music taste is everything

But he really likes indie / indie rock songs

Has all of his art and drawings hung up on his walls

There's maybe one or.two posters he actually bought the rest is his art

Loves spiderverse but he couldn't even enjoy it because he kept looking at Leo crazy with this out of pocket comments

"I wanna pick him up like a baby lion and wash him and feed him milk and release him back into the wild"

"*deadpan* Leo. What the actual hell."

Draxums favorite. Only Mikey knows he's his favorite. If anyone asks drax who his favorite is he says he hates everyone equally and looks over at Mikey

Speaking of drax I think they're vent buddies

Drax vents to him Mikey vents to drax

Drax was very helpful with all of them during the time they were all fucked up from kraang

He even got them into therapy but I'm gonna make a draxum section because I love him ( I lied he's my favorite character, then Donnie)

( God I love drax and Mikey so much let me go on a rant rq )

Apart of draxs training he could definitely pass as a licensed therapist

So if really anyone has some sort of mental thing going on he's there

Even for Leo ( even tho Leo didn't really want his help, that quickly changed tho, again I'll just put this in his section✨ )

But Mikey has these really bad panic attacks that even his brothers don't know about

Only splinter and drax

Splinter is there to comfort him and drax is there to let him talk about it

Mikey doesn't want his brothers to know because he's technically the "therapist" so splinter and drax will never tell anyone

Watched MSA just to make fun of it

Also says cringe shit because he thinks it's funny like Leo

"GYATTTTT....... Y'all know I'm joking right-"

Loves Lilo and stitch

Has an art Instagram with over 1000 followers

LOVES SPICY FOOD

He ate the spiciest chip and then asked for another

Loves spooky month

Fought leo for that damn hello kitty clock

Then stole it

" I'm in your walls :3"

He ate a like 2 handfuls of orbeez when he was 5 before splinter caught him

HUMAN

Draxum:

MY ACTUAL FAVORITE FUCKING CHARACTER AAAAAAAAA

YES I absolutely believe he could qualify as a therapist and he absolutely uses that to his advantage

Leo was still "ish" about draxum but he became a lot more appreciative of him during the times that raph and Casey couldn't be there ( like missions )

He even took time out of work to be there

If he called? He's already almost there

He absolutely a mom IDC he even has the messy mom bun

Mikey calls him dad and that's part of the reason he's his favorite

"honey, it was ruined when she bought it *snaps*" ( I'm sorry ) ( I have to draw this now)

LOVESS BLANKETS

Like all the blankets

The resting bitch face is so real

He has to be leaping for joy happy to maintain a happy face

Goes to Donnies room and tells him to lay his ass down ( he doesnt )

Sends millennial memes to the boys....

*insert a cat smashing on a piano* he's wheezing.

Him and Mikey paint together sometimes

Because he can actually paint super fucking good

Scars all around his body

HUMAN FORMMM

Thats all ill probably make more for April and Casey and splinter

[afterdarkprincess]

A Little Piece of Heaven

Pairing: Dean Ambrose/OC Rating: Gen/Teen Word Count: 655 A little gift for my favorite doughnut sister 💖 @elementaldoughnut12 - I hope you enjoy!!!!

🍩🍩🍩🍩

Mackenzie walked on shaky legs, slowly making her way back to the waiting room as she followed the nice hygienist.

Dentist trips were always rough on her, and getting fillings was the last thing she wanted to do today, but of course her sweet husband made sure she took care of herself and part of that included yucky dentist visits.

To his credit, Dean had tried to make the morning fun for her despite her not being able to eat before the appointment. He made sure to come back to bed after his 5am workout so they could have lots of cuddle time together.

She got to wake up cradled in his arms, roused awake by soft peppered kisses all around her face and lips, tickled by his beard. They spent a few hours just talking, her head pressed against his chest listening to his heartbeat as he talked about the latest shenanigans his coworkers had gotten into while he was away on the road.

It’s hard on her to be apart from him, but she could never have Dean give up on his dreams. Pro wrestling is his first love and it’s the thing that drew her to him, how could she deny him his happiness?

And Dean more than makes up for it when he is home- so it’s worth it in the end.

Speaking of, as soon as she reaches the open door to the waiting room he’s at her side, holding her shoulders gently to steady her legs.

“You okay, punkin? They hurt you?” His voice thick with concern.

“Nah,” She says shaking her head. “Jaw kinda hurts but it’s okay. They just did one side, I have to come back in a few weeks.”

Dean kisses her forehead. “Alright, well make sure you put it in my calendar so I can be here. Gotta take care of my girl.”

Mackenzie felt herself melt a little bit. How did she get so lucky to be with the man of her dreams?

He scoops her up into a bridal carry, and it takes her right back to their beautiful wedding day. It’s been 5 years and they still feel like newlyweds.

Dean carries her out to the car, gets her comfortable in the passenger seat before getting in.

She closes her eyes to rest for a moment and she feels his warm hand wrap around hers and give it a reassuring squeeze.

Before long they make it back to their home, and Dean comes around to get her out of the car.

“I think I can walk myself in my house, silly!” She protests, giving him a pout.

He cocks an eyebrow at her. “And let the heathens knock you over, baby?”

Mackenzie laughs, after all he has a point. Their dogs would absolutely sweep her off her shaky feet.

“I suppose,” She says, wrapping her arms around his neck so he can carry her once more.

They make their way inside, and sure enough the dogs swarm around them, happy that their parents are home again. All three dogs absolutely love Dean, they give her extra cuddles and cry when he’s away, but they’re ecstatic when the whole family is together.

As soon as they get near the kitchen, her senses are filled with a warm sweet aroma and a huge smile lights up her face.

She gives Dean a big kiss on the cheek. “You didn’t!”

“I did,” he grins. “Ordered ‘em before we left the dentists. Am I the best husband or what?”

On the counter sits a huge donut box, cracked open to reveal a dozen thick pink doughnuts with sprinkles; her absolute favorite.

Dean sets her down on the counter next to the box and reaches over to pull one of the doughnuts out.

“Open wide!!” He grins and puts a piece into her waiting open mouth.

It tastes like absolute heaven.

[ajokeformur-ray]

I've been meaning to write that gush post 2019!Erika style like I promised a few days ago but I keep watching the typing thingy blink at me on the screen and I just ???? How am I supposed to put into words how much Arthur Fleck means to me??? How can I do it? How am I supposed to articulate the fact that he's been my rock every day for the last (almost) four years?

How do I tell you about the sheer number of times I've been on my bathroom floor at 3am sobbing into my hands, trying so hard not to make a sound so I don't wake anyone up, and the only reason I've had it in me to brush off my tears, stand up and face the day is because of, smile, through your fear and sorrow, smile, and maybe tomorrow... or that's life, that's what all the people say... or step step step step step? How am I supposed to tell you that I have problems with food and it's easier for me to skip a meal but I have to actively coax myself into making something to eat, and most if not all of the time, I go and make myself food because eat, you need to eat (if food is pre-prepared, I have NO problem. It's just the effort and energy behind making the food which stumps me but I'm working on it)?

How do I tell you about all the times I get so frustrated with the work-study imbalance or not understanding something in my psych or counselling books that I end up banging my head on my desk and then I remember how horrified I feel every time Arthur does the same, and I stop because I'm sure he'd be horrified if he walked in on me doing it? How do I tell you about how, in my darkest moments, even when my cat can't get a smile out of me, Arthur can? How do I tell you that most mornings, on my way to work, I'm yawning, then chugging some coffee, wiping tears of frustration and/or exhaustion away, then yawning again, chugging coffee... for forty five minutes, this is my commute to work (and then from work), and sometimes I stop and do I have to do this again? I just did it yesterday and the day before and I'm tired but then I'll think about how soul-deep exhausted Arthur always was but he did it anyway and therefore, so can I? How do I tell you about all the times I've wanted to quit uni or I've been awake for 32 hours without a nap or any rest due to clashes between work and uni schedules or I've been awake until 3am working on assignments for uni only to then get up at 5am for work and I've been so tired I have cried every time I'm left alone, and I've wanted to quit uni and my job but ultimately I've picked myself up and got back in the race, that's life... and carried on because I started this for Arthur, because he and he alone inspired me so deeply that I took up a job which allows me to help vulnerable people, while doing a degree which will allow me to even further help people? And I've thought of quitting, baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it, and if I didn't think it was worth one single try...

How do I say any of this to you in a way which satisfies my heart that it's said everything correctly? How do I tell you any of these things in such a way that the sheer gravity of what he's done for me is properly articulated and put across?

I can't do it.

I just... I can't.

I don't even feel like I can say I love Arthur because it feels like such a silly statement when I compare it to the deep ache in my chest, the way I smile so hard it actually hurts my face, the way he makes the worst of days feel like they ultimately don't matter much because at least I can crawl into bed and watch him on a screen and feel like I'll be okay in the end, because how can I not be when he's up there on my screen, struggling but trying his hardest, and I'm doing exactly the same thing? If Arthur can handle it, so can I. Because no matter how bad my days get, I have some constants - my hair, coffee, music, my cat, my friends on here, fiction - but Arthur... he's the constant constant. He's seen me through grief, loss, tragedy, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, health scares, doctors appointments, operations, interviews, dentist appointments, fear, worry, stress, sorrow, sadness... through all of that, he's helped me to get back on my own feet and take another step, even if that step is right up on my tip-toes because I can't handle a proper step. But he's also seen me through happiness, joy, elation, pride, achievement, progress, he's seen me so happy I've cried, so excited I've squealed and jumped up and down and spun in circles while giggling, he's seen me through the last four years of my life and I'm sure he's gonna be with me for the rest of my life.

I don't know what our lives would look like together. I used to imagine it so vividly, but I'm not the same person I was four years ago - thankfully - but now I can barely see Arthur loving me. I mean, I know it, but I don't know it. Not like I used to. I feel like I've grown so much in this time that he would look at me and not be able to recognise me. My hair has grown out from when it used to be just like his in terms of length, and now it's just two or three inches away from my tailbone, I have glasses now, my room is always a mess because I don't have the time to clean it but if I do have the time, then I don't have the energy, I'm always a good few weeks behind on uni work, I'm always tired, and I just... even now, I look at Arthur and I look at me and I just can't... how??? And yet, at the same time, I have a firm belief that he and I would be a slow burn; we're both painfully shy but I always reach a point where it's like I get sick of my own shit and that's when I act, so maybe I'd be the reason we even talk to each other right in the very early days.

The way I envision our life together now is not at all how I used to envision it and I'm grateful for the change in perception but also I worry that as I am now, our 2019 Arthur wouldn't love me. But perhaps that's just my self-destructive streak making noise; it's much louder when I get stressed and unfortunately for me, I'm always stressed and tight-chested. Between a highly physically and emotionally demanding job which, even when I'm not on shift, I am still dealing with work commitments and group chats and stuff like that, and university, I am swamped, but then I get changed out of my work uniform and slide my Arthur hoodie back on or I come home and grab my Joker cushion and hold it tight or I get out of the shower and put my rings back on, and I feel like I can breathe again.

I would take every punch, every hit, every insult, every rude word, every glare, every 'joke' his co-workers make, I would take everything if it meant that Arthur would be healthy and safe and protected and cared for and loved. I want to take all of those violent marks and bruises across his body and replace them with love, make him feel like he can come home to me every night just like I get to come home to him every night, too. I feel most myself when I watch Joker because I see 2019 Erika, 2020 Erika, 2021 Erika, 2022 Erika, and now 2023 Erika is seeing all those Erikas, changed and new, and seeing an Arthur who is never changing and always the same, and I always find myself in this film. It's my true ultimate comfort and I wouldn't be here or be where I am without this film or without all the things Arthur has taught me. He's made me kinder, gentler, softer, he made me realise what I want to do in life, and I am forever grateful to the man who saved me. I've said it before, not in great detail, but the people who know, know; Arthur saved me. Oncoming traffic was too strong a temptation before I walked into the cinema on the 4th October 2019, and when I walked out, I found myself stepping out of the way of the road so I could go back the next day to see Joker again. And I did. Again and again and again and again until I looked at myself and realised I hadn't seriously thought about traffic or cliffs for months.

And since the day I realised that, I haven't once looked back. I only glance over my shoulder now and then to see how far I've come, and then I face my front again and step step step step step -

And I keep Arthur tightly in my heart all the while because I'm scared that if I let go of him for even a SECOND, 2019 will become my reality once again. It almost is happening again, I'm right on the edge, but I'm holding onto Arthur tightly. I'm keeping him right here with me to remind me that he is my reason. For my life, for my job, for my degree... I want to be someone he would be proud of, someone he could look at and love as deeply as I love him. He's a beautiful tragedy and I love absolutely everything about him. Everything. And we all know that Joker is the part of Arthur I always lean to the most, he's the one I think of for anything, he's the one I picture holding me when the world has me on my knees in my bedroom or in the bathroom, he's the one I picture brushing my hair and braiding it, he's the one I picture through it all, and I don't know if the start of Joker would bring about an end to what Arthur and I have or if he would only deepen it... I don't know if Joker would love me too but I do know that I only love him more because he's Joker. His lap is my crimson throne, his body is my weighted clown blanket, and I... I don't feel like I can say I love him, as I said, it seems silly in comparison, but it's the only phrase I have.

All I know is, if I thought I had even half a chance with Arthur, I would break down every carefully constructed wall around me, every promise to myself, and I'd let him in. I swore, almost six years ago, never again, but four years ago, I swore that I'd let one man in. Just one.

Arthur. Joker. Carnival. Whomever he is, he's my one and only, and I wish I could say even half of this stuff to him.💖

[let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol]

Adore You (Part 5)

Ashton IrwinXFemale Reader

Part 4

Warnings: pure fluff, tender moments, food, nature, photographs, wars

Dress comfortably, but bring a change of clothes. I’ll pick you up at 5am. 

You stared at the message over and over, sleep still in the corner of your eyes and a yawn leaving your lips. You hadn’t been daydreaming the day before when you got Ashton’s text during the afternoon. He had written five in the morning and somehow you set an alarm to wake you up at 4:30am so that you could get ready. It was Spring Break and you were supposed to be sleeping in, not waking up at the ass crack of dawn. You were barely into your break either which meant things were not at all what you expected it to be. Since Ashton dropped you back off at home the two of you had been messaging non-stop, aside from the times he would work. The two of you had just been talking, getting to know each other a bit. Ashton’s message about picking you up was the last thing you had heard from him. 

The sun wasn’t even out yet and you had no idea what Ashton had planned for your date. Let alone why he chose 5am as the start time. You had just finished packing a spare set of clothes when Ashton messaged you that he was there. After giving yourself a quick look in the mirror to ensure you looked “on the first date” presentable, you gave yourself a quick pep talk before leaving. 

“Good morning,” you smiled, waving at Ashton. He was leaning up against the side of his jeep, dressed in navy colored sweatpants and a gray t-shirt. The grin on his face was bright for the early morning. 

“Good morning, I hope you slept well?” Ashton said, he opened the car door for you. You slid into the passenger seat, tucking your backpack between your feet. 

“Sorta. Having to get up this early made me anxious,” you confessed, Ashton gave you a slight frown, closing your door and jogging to the driver side. “Why are we up this early?” you asked once he was inside the car. 

“Well. . .I thought we could watch the sunrise,” he said, a beautiful smile coming back onto his face. “But we gotta hike to the spot.” Your head whipped over to stare at him in bewilderment. Ashton kept his attention on the road, but from the dimple poking out of his cheek you could tell he was trying hard not to look at you. That explained why he wanted you to dress comfortably. 

“You got me up at 5am to hike just to see the sunrise?!” you reiterated, nearly in disbelief at the revelation. He finally gave you a side glance, a guilty look on his face this time. “Ashton!” you whined out, slumping into your spot only to earn a giggle from him. “This is practically kidnapping.” 

“It’s not kidnapping if you voluntarily got into the car,” he said, “I just didn’t specify the activity.” You rolled your eyes at his words, elbow resting against the door and chin landing into the palm of your hand. It was silent for a moment and Ashton took another glance in your direction. “I promise it will be worth it,” he said, right hand reaching out to give your thigh a reassuring squeeze. You relaxed in your spot at his words and gave him a sly smile.

“You better be right. If not, you’re making it up to me,” you told him. Ashton held out his pinky to you and you hooked it with your own. Both your thumbs met in the middle, locked with a “kiss.” The rest of the car ride was spent getting to know each other more until you made it to your destination. 

     You wheezed out air, head rested between your legs and hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. It had been a while since you last hiked and your hiking locations were never this steep. Daylight was starting to peak out, the early morning air crisp and somehow burning your lungs even more. A few trees surrounded you on your left and boulders to your right. Your eyes focused on a beetle scurrying by with a rock in hand, one eye closed tight. You felt Ashton’s hand gently land on your back, his face soon appearing in front of yours. “Here,” he said, holding a water bottle in front of your face. You reached out for it, cracking it open and spilling a bit of the water as you brought it to your lips. 

“You’re trying to kill me,” you said over the rim. He laughed, hiking his backpack up his shoulder even more. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, “You had said you used to hike, so I thought. . .” 

“No, it’s fine-this mountain is just hella steep.” Your breathing finally got back to normal, and you stood up straight to give him a weak smile. 

“Yeah this mountain wiped me out the first time I climbed it,” he told you. He gave you a concerned look and you sent a thumbs up to him to signify you were good to go. 

“Did you collapse at the top?” you asked, slowly trailing behind him. Ashton paused, his hand reaching out to help you over a log that was in the middle of your path. 

“I did, actually,” he laughed, “Legit waited an hour before I decided to go back down.” He didn’t let go of your hand as the two of you continued your trek up. Soon Ashton pulled you through a grove of trees on a flatter part of the mountain and you found yourself looking at the most breathtaking view. “The sun should be fully rising in three, two, one,” he said, glancing back and forth between his watch and the view. A gasp left your lips and your hand came up to cover your mouth. It was silent and you basked in the view, sucking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it. 

“This is. . . “ you whispered, trying not to disturb the silence. “Absolutely gorgeous,” you finished off, you felt Ashton’s fingers brush against yours and your own fingertips tickled his. He fully grabbed your hand then.

“Gorgeous indeed,” Ashton whispered back, you could see him looking at you out of the corner of your eye and you smiled to yourself. “I uh-I brought my camera for some pictures,” he said after a few minutes. You looked at him then, a smirk playing on your face. 

“To document a first date?” you questioned, receiving an eye roll from him.

“No, to document the sunrise, but this lighting looks fantastic on you, so I wanted to ask if it’s alright-you might be in some of them?” You laughed at his words and glanced back towards the stunning view then at him.

“Snap away,” you told him, gesturing towards the view. He pulled his backpack from his shoulder to pull out his camera. A second later you heard the snap of the camera, and then a few more clicks. You didn’t know if you should pose or not, so you stayed taking in the scenery. “Do you always carry that thing with you?” you asked, gulping down the water Ashton had given you halfway up the hill. 

“Not all the time, but I can’t resist a good photo opportunity especially in nature.” He turned the camera on you this time. You gave a quick smile and pose before waving him away. After a few more pictures were taken, the two of you found a rock to sit on and fully absorb the quietness. You laid your head on his shoulder and in turn Ashton laid his head on top of yours. 

“I can see why you’d like it up here,” you commented, “It’s peaceful and it feels like everything in the world will be just alright.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

“Can forget assignments and deadlines exist from up here too,” Ashton said. You nodded in response and the two of you sat in silence for a while. A hum of comfort left your lips and you felt Ashton’s head move against yours and briefly felt his lips ghost at your hairline. The two of you watched the sun slide higher up into the sky and your eyebrows furrowed as you thought about the message Ashton sent you the day before. 

“Why’d I need to bring a change of clothes?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Ashton looked down at you with a grin.

“Ya get sweaty while hiking,” he told you, “And this isn’t our final destination.” Your eyebrows rose in surprise at his words. He laughed at your response. “What? Did you think this was just a hiking date? I made plans, Sweetheart.” He bumped his shoulder against yours and shot you a smile. You bumped him back, and Ashton stood up. He dusted dirt off his bottom then reached his hand out for you to take. 

“Okay then, what is next on the agenda?” you asked, grabbing Ashton’s hand and allowing him to pull you up. He pulled you into his chest for a hug, the two of you shuffling a bit in embrace. You looked up at him with a smile on your face.

“Depends,” he hummed, smirking down at you. 

“On?” you questioned, the embrace breaking as you both started to descend down the hill. You followed closely behind Ashton, marking where you were stepping.  

“On if you like french toast sticks because I know this place that does like every flavor under the sun,” he said over his shoulder. Ashton stopped for just a moment and turned his body in wait for your answer. 

“I honestly can’t remember the last time I had french toast STICKS, so I’d say. . . of course I’m down!” you said, earning a grin from Ashton. The climb down was always easier than going up and sure enough by the end of it you were starving.

     Ashton sat next to you in the booth. The heat radiating off his body and warming your already hot skin. The two of you had changed clothes in the back of his Jeep before heading towards the french toast place. You didn’t realize how drenched in sweat you’d be and was grateful Ashton suggested you bring a change of clothes. Now the two of you were in the cool of the diner, but still the tension lined your skin at his close proximity. A menu being shared and your hair stood on ends as he wrapped his arm over your shoulder, scooting closer to you. You swore he’d be able to hear how hard your heart was beating, and you tried your damnedest to not stare at him from the corner of your eye. “What flavor do you fancy?” he questioned, raising a hand to push his glasses up his nose. 

“The red velvet sticks sound amazing, but I keep looking towards the tiramisu ones,” you responded. “What about you?” 

“Hmm cinnamon roll is always my go to,” he bashfully admitted. You laughed at his admission, at least it wasn’t the classic french toast sticks he was going for. “Do you want to maybe try the variety special? Since you’re having trouble deciding.” Your eyes widened at the variety special list. 

“Ash, that’s way too many sticks for me,” you mumbled, eyebrows furrowing. Two french toast sticks from the sixteen list flavor board. 

“How about we share it? Whatever's leftover can be boxed up,” he suggested. 

“It’ll allow me to try both the red velvet and tiramisu,” you said in agreement. It also gave Ashton the chance to try something other than his usual order. Once your order was taken, the two of you found yourselves in a game of thumb-of-war as you waited. “So how’d you f-find this place?” you asked, trying to invade Ashton’s thumb as it nearly pinned yours down. 

“I’m all about the mom and pop shop places,” he said, tongue sticking out as he once again tried to pin you down. “One day of procrastination led me here. . .curiosity really.” You smiled at his words, understanding how curiosity got the better of him. The entrance to this place held knickknacks that’ll draw in any magpie. It was something new you were learning about Ashton. Just from his accent it was clear he wasn’t a local, but he seemed to become one just by finding local eateries. Ashton became distracted as the tray of food came towards your table. You took advantage of it and pinned his thumb down. 

“I win!” you shouted in triumph, hands lifting high in the air. 

“That has to be considered cheating,” he argued, moving his cup of fruit juice to make space for the two large plates. All you could do was laugh in response, shaking your head as he tried to plead his case. 

“There are no rules to thumb-of-war,” you teased, eyes widening in surprise when Ashton stuffed one of the french toast sticks in your mouth to shut you up. He bit down on his lip to hold in the laughter at your reaction. Your expression changed into delight at the taste. “Which one was that?” you asked, mouth still full. 

“Uh I think it was the blueberry pie one,” Ashton said, helping himself to the food as well. You licked your lips in satisfaction, grabbing your own fork to dig into the meal. You couldn’t help but smile around your fork over at Ashton. If this was what he did on first dates, then a second date was definitely in the cards. Until then, you were going to enjoy your morning with the dimpled man.

[zero-way-out]

I just feel the need to say that one thing that irreversably saved my mental health through college was learning to mask as a roleplay of a vulcan rather than the golden child i was raised as.

I was still at the point where i valued an A over pretty much everything else but roleplaying as a vulcan allowed me to min-max my college experience. Simply because it allowed me to stop being so emotionally invested in making my professors proud of me. I learned to tell myself, "these are not replacements for your parents who you rely on to give you self worth, but people you are making a business transaction with. I do this amount of work for this grade etc. etc.

It definetly left a few professors ticked at my behavior but at the same time they needed to learn that their class was not my biggest priority. Specifically, my last semester, i had a science professor who absolutely hated me. Mostly because it was a class that i was 99% sure i could ace the final on the first day. It was a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday class. Mondays were labs which made up a large portion of our grade. The other two classes were just lectures. The entire semester i went to only 6 lecture days because those were test days. About 4 weeks into the semester i got a passive aggressive email about if i needed help learning to manage my time. The gist was, just because it was an 8am class didnt mean i shouldnt be waking up on time to attend.

Mainly because i now run mainly on spite, the reply email i sent still is one of the most satisfying moments of my higher education. I, very passive aggressively told him, that in fact i woke up at around 5am everyday, and i made use of that time making sure i was staying on time in my ceramics class that i had on the same days after gis class. I was certain that i have every capability to earn whatever grade i wished in his class, and that as an art student his class was one of my lowest priorities at the moment.

However, the MOST satisfying moment i ever had in college was learning from the other people in that class ( most of which didnt like him either) that i recieved the highest grade on the final. At that point i was pretty much certain i was going to get a B+ because i had missed one lab. Instead, i got a 92 on the final, set the curve, and ended up with a 93% in the class.

[wool-f]

Wellness: Through & Through | Part Six: The 5am Club 

I’ve spent the last decade online watching videos and reading blogs and articles all claiming that waking up at 5am is the key to changing your life, being productive, becoming to most successful person in the world, the list goes ON. 

As part of this experiment on my body that I’ve been undertaking here on Wellness: Through & Through, I really wanted to try out waking up at 5am and see what changes it had on my life and body. 

If you’re more of a video person, I’ve uploaded a video to my channel for you to watch here, but if you want to see a structured, written out approach, come with me through a journal style approach to waking up at 5am. 

Immediately when I first thought about getting into the 5am routine, I was filled with doubts at the possibility of me becoming a morning person. 

I had hated waking up early for 7am starts when I was in retail and hospitality, I could never imagine doing it WILLINGLY, let alone enjoying it. 

But was I in for the shock of my life - waking up at 5am has changed my life, and I will never go back. 

There are so many significant changes I’ve noticed in my daily routine that have been positive additions since starting my 5am routine and I hate to admit it, but all those articles were correct. It is life changing, you do become a better person. 

I want to start this from the outset saying that waking up at 5am is not going to be for everyone. But I think if the idea has crossed your mind ever, it’s worth giving it a go. 

The biggest change I’ve found in waking up at 5am is that when combined with early morning exercise, I am so much more productive throughout my entire day. It’s actually embarrassing to think about what I was doing before I was waking up at 5am. 

I was doing so much less, I was a lot more lethargic and I was procrastinating a huge amount throughout the day. 

I’m not in any way saying that waking up at 5am has fixed all my problems or cured my love of procrastination, but I am so much more focused and on point when I’m waking up and exercising before the sun has risen. 

I have noticed that when exercise is not factored into the morning routine, I am less productive so that should be noted, but it’s a huge thing that has changed for me. 

Combined in that little change, I’ve noticed I am far less lethargic throughout the afternoon, a fact that has really surprised me. 

Where I would normally go through a mid-afternoon slump, I am powering through my to-do lists, work or off time on the weekends. It’s like a magic trick. 

I’m not sure what the cause of this is, but I’m sure there is a scientist out there who has done a study on it. 

One thing I have enjoyed thoroughly about waking up at 5am, is the extra two hours I get to myself in the morning. Where I was rushing around, shoving my breakfast down my throat and burning my mouth on hot coffee, now I am relaxed, showered and able to eat my breakfast at a normal pace while reading a book. 

There is also a beautiful smell in the air early in the morning, that fades away as the day goes on. I can’t describe it, but I’m sure other people who are early risers can relate. It’s a fresh, crisp smell that hits your nose, and it almost is what I would imagine a fresh imagination to smell like. 

I think deep down it’s the knowledge that nothing bad has happened in the day yet, and there is so much opportunity yet to come, it’s the smell of a new beginning! 

A beautiful part of waking up so early is getting the opportunity to see the sunrise every single day. It’s getting later for me as daylight savings has ended in Melbourne and winter is setting in, but there is really nothing like watching the sunrise and the day begin, knowing you’ve already gotten through the first few hours. 

So, if you hadn’t already guessed, this is a tried and approved message to give the 5am club a go. I honestly am obsessed with waking up early now. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and this is what happens, but it’s definitely something I wish I had done earlier. 

Two tips I have for anyone giving this a go: 

1. Preparation is key: make sure you’re getting enough sleep the night before, that you’re hydrated before bed and that you have your clothes ready to go for the following morning to motivate you to move from the comfortable pillow palace you’ve made yourself over night. It will be a rough first week/two weeks when you begin, but if you’re ready to go from the moment you open your eyes, it will make it so much easier. 

2. Have a consequence for not getting up - I always book a 6am pilates class to force me out of bed, otherwise I’ll cop a late cancellation or a no-show fee. Having something to do as soon as you get up is honestly the key to success with this, especially if you’re a lover of sleep like I am. 

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself if you’re giving this a go, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to conquer. The day won’t change if you get up at 5.30am or 5.45am, but I think it’s really worth giving it a go, even just to give yourself an extra few hours in the morning to do something you enjoy, like read a book, or catch up on a TV show. 

Let me know if you give this one a go, and how you enjoyed/hated it in the comments below! 

You can find me on all my other socials using the handle @kweenofthieves, but outside that, I’ll be back with you all next week! 

All my love, 

Gxx

[imfearlessfics]

Chapter 5: The Antagonist

Song: Into the I-LAND by I-LAND, A Song Written Easily by ONEUS, Blueprint by Stray Kids

Pairing: Yunjin x female reader

Genre: Romance, forbidden love

Warnings: mild language

Word count: 2.5k

It’s been a few weeks, and I’m really starting to feel like I’ve settled in. There’re still some boxes strewn about my room, and I haven’t quite gotten the subway system down, but I have a routine. I wake up around 5AM, get ready, and head to the subway where I proceed to look hopelessly at the train schedule until I find my stop, then arrive at work almost two hours early. (I refuse to arrive late and risk the wrath of President Hwang. As kind as she is, she didn’t make it to where she is without cracking the whip here and there, so sitting in the cafe while I practice my Korean and look over my schedule for the day makes the early ass mornings worth it.) Then after my morning status meeting, I shadow other employees. All. Freaking. Day. Long. 

I get that I’m new here, and I totally understand wanting to ensure I comprehend the processes and inner workings of one of the biggest companies in the world, but for the love of GOODNESS I want to get some actual work done! What is the point of a status meeting when my status is always “still learning the ropes and prohibited from creating content on my own”?! I shouldn’t complain too much, though. It is a huge company, literally and figuratively, so having this much time to learn the ins and outs has been helpful. I shadow someone new everyday - that’s how many employees work here! Sometimes it’s the studio engineers and sometimes it’s the baristas at the cafe. I never have a predictable day, that’s for sure. 

Last week, however, I finally started shadowing the actual department I was hired for: the marketing team. I can tell you this for free; They don’t mess around. The way that they approach styling to comebacks to tours is meticulous. Every little thing down to the polish on the idols’ nails has a reason and a story, and I’m slowly realizing just how huge my role is in all of this. The TikToks that I’ll be making in the coming weeks will be the first glimpse into their new comeback, and we’re hoping to keep elevating LE SSERAFIM on a global scale. It’s been extremely hush hush, but today, the comeback content meetings begin, and free time will cease to exist. I’m booked from morning til night every day for weeks, and that’s just getting all the ducks in a row. The teasers won’t drop for another couple of months, I’m told. 

I haven’t been able to see the girls too much since my schedule is mostly just getting to know the company, but I pass them every once in a while when I’m shadowing. They always greet me happily, like we’ve already become the best of friends, and it makes each day a little brighter. And while I love seeing all of them, there’s one in particular that makes my workday exponentially better. 

Ever since that day in the practice room, there is a tiny flutter in my heart that beats to the sound of her laughter. My cheeks flush at the sight of her smile, and my hands tremble whenever she waves at me, and I … I can’t believe how sappy I sound right now! 

Y/n, get it together! Some crush on an idol you literally work for is only gonna distract you!

But in between the meetings and the shadowing and the constant hustle and bustle, I can feel myself cringing at the word “crush”. Just a couple of hours around her and there’s now a constant pull to want to be near her. The desire to feel just as carefree and happy and fearless as I did in that room. Because for the rest of the day, I couldn’t stop stealing glances at her and wanting my jokes to be funny just to see her chuckle, but feeling acutely aware of a pair of eyes tracking my every move. I would’ve been paranoid about it, but I was having too much fun with them, so I wrote it off as me just imagining things. 

I have the marketing meeting in a few minutes, so I pack up my breakfast and head to the conference room. As I’m settling in, one of my coworkers, Lee Ha-Rin, enters the room. And how do I know that she entered the room? Because she made a spectacle about it - loudly talking about her absolutely wild weekend, laughing at a joke that from what I could understand was not even that funny, and making sure to bat her eyes at just about every male employee in the room. 

I am a woman that supports women, and I never want to speak poorly about another woman for being unapologetically herself, but from the moment I met Ha-Rin, she’s made it abundantly clear that she looks down on me for being a foreigner with such little experience. 

“Oh my goodness hi! You must be the new girl - y/n, was it? I’m Ha-Rin, the leader of Le Sserafim’s marketing team for this comeback. You must be so overwhelmed! I’m sure that nothing you’ve ever done until now has been quite on this scale, right? Don’t worry - I’ll help you every step of the way” I don’t think it occurred to her the entire time she spoke that I didn’t get a word in, but she just continued to speak at me rather than with me, and I have never gotten good vibes from people that do that. 

“It’s kind of crazy that you even landed this position! I wasn’t yet assigned to be the leader of this project, or I may have tried to find someone with a little more experience, but that’s what we’re here for, I guess! To walk you through the processes.” She had a smile on her face the entire time, but the tone in her voice was unmistakable, and the sting from her words has been lying just beneath the surface ever since. 

She gets to the front of the room and begins her presentation on the schedule for the next couple of weeks, and I can see on the calendar something that fills me with equal parts dread and excitement - my name! Next to the words “Content Meeting”! I get to run my very first meeting in … in four days? Hold on, how is that possible? I haven’t even officially begun working with the members yet, and I have to lead an entire meeting on potential content ideas? Contrary to some people’s beliefs, TikTok is not just some “social media app” - it’s a science. It is the number one way that artists are discovered, it has over a billion monthly users, and it’s used daily in over 150 countries across the globe. Knowing how to use this app correctly to build communities and fan bases is … well it’s a pretty valuable skill! One that took me years to hone in and develop. Just creating a posting schedule is extremely specific and time consuming, so you can imagine how tirelessly one would have to work to also create the content itself. And Ha-Rin has given me four days to do both! How can this be fair? She sees the look on my face and, to my delight, decides to comment on it in front of the entire room. 

“Y/n? Is something wrong?” She makes a fake show of looking back at the screen with concern on her face, “Oh…is this too much for you? Should I push the meeting back for you?”  

“Not at all. It’s just that I haven’t even worked with the members one-on-one yet, so I am concerned about organizing a meeting without having the proper information yet.” I don’t know how I manage to keep composure in the midst of the panic brewing inside me, but I continue with only a slight tremor in my voice, “I am happy to spearhead the meeting, but I’m afraid it will be unrealistic to expect a comprehensive schedule for 2 weeks of content without proper interaction with the members.” Damn, I sound smart. 

The slightest twitch in Ha-Rin’s eye tells me I struck a nerve by advocating for myself in front of all our coworkers, but she can’t show that she’s shaken. “Well, as luck would have it, you’re actually scheduled to shadow them for a few hours everyday starting today. Will that be enough time, y/n?” 

She and I both know that it isn’t, but unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of say. I’m the newest addition to this team, and while I don’t like how she openly condescended me for it, she’s not exactly wrong about me not having experience working with this level of stardom. At the end of the day, I’ll get this done because I have to, and that might be a good way to prove my value to the team. I’m gonna have to spend a lot of time with the members, though, and … wait. That’s actually the best possible thing I could have hoped for! Okay, pity party over. 

“Yes. That should be plenty of time. I will need to spend the next few days exclusively shadowing them, though, so I hope some adjustments can be made to my schedule to accommodate for that. Will that be possible?” Fear seems to make me impervious to death glares, which is exactly what Ha-Rin is shooting me right now. I would care more, but this is my job, and moreover, this is their comeback. Nothing can be rushed, and even Ha-Rin has to respect that. With a smile so tight I fear her face will snap in two, she just nods and continues with her presentation. 

As we all pack up to get on with the day, she stops me just before I can escape. “Y/n, can you hang back for just a moment?” Crap on a cracker - I knew blind bravery was gonna bite me in the ass. 

“What can I help you with?”

“Just want to make sure we are on the same page about your upcoming content creation for the group. You know, it is very important that you don’t have any biases. You must plan in accordance to the guidelines we give you, not according to your own personal preferences. Does that make sense?” There’s still a few stragglers, so the show she’s putting on right now could win her a damn Oscar for “Genuine and Kind (but actually cunning and conniving) Boss”. Though, I am not sure what she’s playing at right now. I’ve barely spent more than a few hours with them, what is she even talking about?

“Biases? I’m not sure what I have done to indicate that I’m … playing favorites. Unless you’ve been seeing something I’m not aware of?.” The tension is palpable, and I’m pretty sure some of my coworkers are procrastinating just to see this go down. 

“Oh no, nothing crazy. I mean, if I had seen anything out of the ordinary, say longing stares or lingering touches with one particular member, I would certainly bring it to your attention. You’d know the repercussions of such actions, right?” 

The silence that follows is suffocating - there is no way I have been that obvious. No. I might look Yunjin’s way when she’s around, but I couldn’t have been so conspicuous as to catch anyone’s attention. Even I’m not that dumb. Unless…shit. I knew I had felt someone watching me the last few weeks. I had chalked it up to me being the new girl. Harmless curiosity! But if Ha-Rin has been out for me since day one? If she’s been purposely looking for a reason to cast me out? Then of course she’s picked up on my crush (read: ever growing infatuation and hopeless longing). I have to do damage control - and my job has barely even officially started! 

“I’m not sure what exactly you’ve seen, but I am simply doing my best to develop rapport with the members and my coworkers. I only hope to treat each member fairly and within the guidelines of the company. I’m sure that is okay to do? Considering I’ll be spending so much time with them?” 

She flashes that tight smile again, it’s like someone is pulling her cheeks back as she fights back. “Of course. We couldn’t be more thrilled to have such a … dedicated team member on board. We’ll talk later, y/n. You need to get to the members, yes?” She saunters out without another word, and I let out a shaky breath. 

Gathering all my strength, I make my way to the practice rooms where I know the girls are practicing. I make sure not to walk in while they’re dancing, so I wait outside for a few moments to let the song finish. Of course, my eyes wander to one member the fastest. She’s glowing, and the confidence she emits puts me at ease a little. Her stage presence is magnetic, and I almost miss that the song has ended and I’m good to head in. 

“Y/n! Hi! Oh my gosh is it finally time? We get to start working together?!” Sakura beams at me. The rest of the girls greet me with such enthusiasm, I decide to forget about my stare down with Ha-Rin. I’m not going to let her superiority complex ruin this opportunity. 

“Hey everyone! Yeah, I guess this is my first official day with you! I’m not filming anything quite yet, but I’ll be taking some notes and getting reference shots. I won’t be in your way, I promise.” 

“Don’t be silly, y/n, you could never be in our way,” says Yunjin, and I (internally) scream. 

“What do you need from us, y/n?” says Chaewon. I get a glimpse of what a good leader she is. Her immediate reaction is to ensure everyone’s work can go smoothly, and I appreciate her attention to detail. 

“So, I would love to take your group’s core concept as the inspiration for the content we put up in the next few months. Your message surrounds the concept of fearlessness and self-confidence, right? It’s that authenticity I want to capture. Rather than having all the videos be staged, I’d love to get candid shots of some behind the scenes work going into this comeback. Strip back any illusions of perfection and focus on your individual approaches to a comeback. What do you think?” I’ve actually been pretty excited about this idea. It took me a couple of weeks to flesh out how I would approach this without risking spoilers, but I think filming some of the highs and lows in a polaroid film style would not only be in line with their upcoming comeback concept, but also their identity as a whole. 

“Y/n, that’s really good! I love it, and I think our Fear-nots will be thrilled,” Eunchae says. 

“Yeah, I can’t wait to start! Plus I love that we won’t really have to memorize anything extra. We just get to be ourselves.” Kazuha seems particularly pleased, and I feel so proud. 

“Just as I expected - y/n is a genius,” Yunjin winks at me. I beam back, and I make a mental note to wear a face mask any time I’m in the same room as this woman. If I blush any harder, I’ll glow. I get my notebook and phone out, “Alright - let’s get started.”

_____________________________________________________________

Y'all! I did not realize how long it had been since I last posted, but thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has liked the chapters! It makes me so happy!

I was sick for a while and then there were a lot of life changes going down, but I am back! I hope y'all like this - we have a new character and we may or may not hate her a little. What do y'all think?!

[thetoxicgamer]

You can play Evercore Heroes right now, but not for long

One of the best things to come out of Summer Games Fest is that Evercore Heroes is free to play right now, and is sporting a whole new map. If you’re a fan of classic MOBA League of Legends but hate the PvP element, then Evercore Heroes is a must-try. Free-to-play and chaneling elements of League of Legends and World of Warcraft, Evercore Heroes is available to play right now in the wake of the OTK Games Expo. The Evercore Heroes servers are open temporarily until 9pm PST June 10, 12am EST / 5am BST June 11, with the highly-anticipated beta test set to kick off on June 20. You can sign up to try out the game here. Bear in mind that the June 20 test is a closed beta, so if you dip your feet into the waters of Lumeria and enjoy it over the next few hours, you’ll need to pick up a Founder’s Pack to resume your journey in the beta. These vary in price, but do offer extra keys so that you can play with friends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2Z0ko_aDWk There’s more, though, as CEO of Vela Games Travis George also revealed a new map (known in-game as stage) – Hardfrost Harbor, which joins the gorgeous Moxy Treetops and sooty Kru Mines, and will be playable as part of this test and the beta. With Evercore Heroes finally out in the wild, it’s worth checking out some of the best MMORPGs to get used to the PvE-style combat. We also have a list of the best free PC games to keep you occupied until the beta hits. Read the full article

[tracybirds]

I meannnn I frequently wake up at 5am and if it were light out I'd def be out and about so I say Scott can keep doing that haha <3

The thing that struck me was that since timezones cover in general 15 degrees of longitude, and it made me wonder how far west/east Tracy Island would be in comparison to their timezone since that would have a (minor) impact on sunrise / sunset too! The Kermadec Ridge looks like it's pretty much exactly where Brisbane is (comparing degrees/arc minutes/arc seconds), like Brisbane is right in the middle of the timezone (153 degrees W inside the GMT+10 timezone that generally extends from 142.5 degrees to 157.5 degrees), and Raoul Island (our go to standard) is 178 E, which is only one degree west when comparing the position within the timezone. This region of the world also has that pesky International Dateline to contend with, and it's worth considering whether Tracy Island would find it more useful to be to the west of this (same day as Australia / NZ) or east (same day as USA). Given their business ties to the US, this might be a good reason to be in a GMT-13 or GMT-12 timezone.

But I've gotten sidetracked! The reason I bring up longitude is because the further west you are within the timezone, the later the sunrise. So if we take Tracy Island to be not on the Kermadec Ridge but on the next ridge over (to the west!!) then that might give them a few more minutes in bed (we love that 15 minute lie in haha)

But I think it's worthwhile to point out that although time is real, the way we measure it is relatively arbitrary! There's absolutely no reason that they can't set their timezone to ensure that they have sunrise at 6am instead - in real life we do this and call it daylight savings after all looooool (and unless I miss my mark, Brisbane doesn't do daylight savings do they? Instant extra hour for the fam if they stick to tradition xD)

Day and Night cycle on Tracy Island

Hubby and I just had a interesting discussion on morning and evening times on Tracy Island.

This discussion happened simply because of one random line in a fic I was writing (yes, I’m writing again ::bounces:: ). I said something about the morning on Tracy Island being earlier than that in New Zealand. My supposition was that I thought days on the equator would be longer than those in the temperate zone.

Turns out day and night on the equator is 12 and 12 hours each and no fluctuating, something I would find immensely weird (and obvious if I had half a brain).

What was then discussed was the actual location of Tracy Island (in Thunderbirds Are Go) which John points out in several episodes as being just to the east of the Minerva Reefs, between the two volcanic ridges, one of which is the Kermadec Ridge. This is most obviously not on the equator (much to @onereyofstarlight ‘s annoyance when it comes to a certain reference to Thunderbird Five’s orbiting position ::giggles and hugs:: ). What latitude it is appears to be somewhere north of Brisbane, Australia (equivalent) but more subject to the ocean due to the lack of continent being in the way. Therefore subtropical clime.

So we looked up Brisbane’s day length. When the sun went up and down.

Apparently the sun will come up at around 5am in summer and set at around 6.30pm. So all those early morning jogs we have Scott on would be at sunrise (I’m further south so may have accidentally added a more temperate pattern to my fics and had him up before dawn cos that’s all I know really). This, of course, also depends on whether Tracy Island follows daylight saving. Though I have to admit, considering their location and the location of the majority of the human populace on the planet, our Tracy boys are all night workers unless something bad happens in East Asia or Oceania.

Anyway, something to think about. And yes, Tracy Island will wake up earlier than Aotearoa, and not just because of the timezone.

Nutty

(Geeking out again)

[iamnikoli]

AY22/23 Sem 1 Thoughts

First sem in NUS ever~~ I think overall it did go better than expected. I felt rather alone going in, simply because none of my friends went to NUS, and the people whom I knew were going to NUS weren’t close to me at all. I managed to make a few friends (yay!) from various majors from tutorials and lectures. This also leads me to 

Learning point #1: Make friends and have a support network and this will help you academically as well.

No man is an island, but I’ve always been very introverted and private so making lots and lots of friends is definitely not my forte. But it is very important to have friends that you can discuss questions with, share resources and help etc. Compared to my CS1010X days, I felt much better in terms of coping with the workload and the difficulty of the mods.

Personally, I was extremely worried about regressing back to my IP days, like in IP1 my grades were horrendous and I had a lot of friendship drama, and my classmates turned their back against me while I hid in my shell like a turtle. Since I also have lost the ability to deal with drama, I didn’t want history repeating itself, so I worked very hard to strike a balance. I might have placed more emphasis on grades than socialising, but I think it was quite worth it in the end. However, I do feel quite isolated at times, and I feel like I haven’t made any close friends yet.

Learning point #2: You’re on your own, kid.

Definitely did not reference a Taylor Swift song :) but yea this has been a season of change, and my closest friends are all going overseas for uni, so I am lowkey in a crisis. I do feel that I’m straying away from my friends too because I often prioritised studies over hangouts in the past sem. Well, it might be for the better so that I don’t feel as blue when he’s really gone, but I don’t know... I will try to fine-tune this and make time for more people and my hobbies. Speaking of which,

Learning point #3: A dynamic-zero approach is only going to hurt yourself.

This is especially wrt to my gymming routine and friendships too ig. I am a perfectionist and I also care a lot about what people say, which leads to a deadly combination. For the first half of the year, I was very very insecure about myself at the gym (benching 1.25kg anybody?), so I often wanted to go at times when the gym was empty and no one could watch me. However, this presented a major problem as the only time the gym was really empty was at 3-5am, and I am a night owl. So I forced myself to wake up super early to go to the gym, and I was only like 1/3 successful at it. This made my gymming very inconsistent since once I slept through my alarm, I couldn’t go to the gym. Eventually, I learnt to exercise at the gym at less crowded times such as the morning and afternoon. I literally had to drag myself to go in with a thick skin lol. About a month ago, I moved to a gym that’s super near my house, and this has made life so much better since I could go anytime, incl weekends, except weekday evenings like 6-9pm. I’ve been gymming 6 times a week the past two weeks which is unprecedented. My gymming schedule is now also very flexible, I could go at different timings that align with my schedule or the situation on that day. In terms of my friendships, I was initially quite isolated and wanted to isolate myself because it is just honestly the easier choice than opening up to people, but so far the people I’ve met have been just so nice and amazing. Moral of the story is to be flexible and open to new ideas, things, people.

Now onto acads HAHA. So ermm yes CS1010X was difficult to me, and me working alone made life very difficult. Also just something about the class being all NS boys made it very ew, sorry. Needless to say I struggled through the six months of the module, and while I did get a satisfactory grade for it (B+), I definitely did not score as well as most other people, esp since most got A or something it seems. Nonetheless, I still decided to transfer the grade over because it was good enough by my standards, and this would mean freeing up my regular semesters to take other modules that I enjoy and have a greater aptitude for (I call them ‘CAP booster’ modules hahah). I had this worry that the B+ would be the peak of my academic performance, so in my regular semester, I really chionged and went all out. For HSA, I sought the writers’ centre a few times to review my essays, and for HSA/HSS presentations I reached out to clarify and get a sense of my TAs’ requirements and preferences. I also asked questions whenever I was in doubt for my non-graded class part mods, and for the graded class part ones (HSA/HSS) I basically morphed into a class part slut and contributed consistently #sorrynotsorry Jokes ofc I didn’t interrupt other people or contribute meaninglessly. Also, at first I was quite worried about my MA2002 calc mod because the homework was so competitive (what even is median 39/40 homework?) and I was certain that I had to S/U it. One of my close friends asked me to wait till midterms and see, and I’m really really thankful for that advice because it turned out to be true. This is the final learning point of the sem/year which is

Learning point #4: Hold on.

I scored above 75th percentile for midterms which helped to cover in the loss of marks for the previous two homework where I scored a bit below median (as each homework was 10% and midterms were 15%). I managed to recover after my slight blunder at the start and scored well enough to not have to S/U calc in the end so yay. Lastly, my Viet mod was also amazing since I nerd over Sơn Tùng and Viet is similar to Canto so it’s kind of like the process of learning Korean all over again. I will say though that idk why viet’s non-bell curve (there were 31 students) caused so many people to get bad grades.

So yes overall it was a pretty good, better than expected semester. I have no one but God to thank and be grateful for everything throughout this sem, this year and my life, he is my/our creator after all. Whenever I was worried or in doubt this semester, although yes I was scared, deep down I knew that no matter what the near future outcome would be, I was in good hands. Anyways I’m excited but nervous about next semester where I’ll be tackling 32 or 36 MCs :’) Stay tuned for the module reviews!

[thegettingbyp2]

Hi !! May I request a Knoxville x (fem or non-binary) Reader, where they’re on a Jackass road trip, with some of the rest of the Jackass crew (Steve-O, Jeff, Pontius, Dave, Wee-Man, etc). They’re all just piled into a van, maybe on a promotional trip or some skate trip. Maybe Knox and the reader have crushes on each other or maybe they’re already together. Maybe some pranks occur or just the regular Jackass chaos :)) Up to you !! Thank you, i LoVe your writing :DD

Road Trip

‘Would you move!’

‘Fuck off!’

‘Did anyone bring snacks?’

Myself and the rest of the Jackass crew were all piled into a mini-van as we drove through California, on our way to do press interviews for the new film, Jackass 3D. Dave was currently in the drivers seat, everyone swapping out every couple of hours so no one would get too tired driving. Me and Johnny had managed to snag the back row of seats, claiming that the third seat at the back was for bags that didn’t fit in the boot. We’d gotten to the van about half an hour before anyone else just so we could get these seats.

I’ve always gotten along with Johnny but the past few months we’ve been filming, we’ve gotten closer, to the point where we pretty much spend our whole time in each others company. We get teased constantly from the other guys about it but we never pay any attention to them, just comfortable in each others company.

‘See wasn’t getting up earlier just to get the back seats worth it sweetheart,’ Johnny said, grinning next to me. When he had suggested a couple of days ago that we should get up at 5am just so we could get to the van before the rest of the guys, I’d thought he was crazy. Now, there is nothing I could do to thank him enough because there was no way I would cope if I was in the middle of the rest of them. They spend the whole time yelling, throwing things at each other and I know I would have gone mad. Being at the back put a nice barrier between us and them.

‘So worth it,’ I said, stretching out across the spare seat next to me, the bags being pushed to the footwell, ‘how long are we on the road for?’

‘Think it’s a long one today sweetheart, a good 8 hours,’ Johnny said. Since developing this little crush on him, I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever he calls me sweetheart.

---

Unknown to you, Johnny felt the exact same way. The filming of Jackass 3D allowed him to spend more time with you and he started to notice more of your little quirks; the way you would brush your hair to the side every couple of minutes, the way your tongue would poke out slightly whenever you smiled at him and how you would always check if he was okay after a stunt, no matter if you had gotten hurt in the stunt yourself.

Since this crush of his developed he started using any excuse to spend time with you, including convincing you to wake up earlier so you could get to the back of the van, where he knew you would both have more privacy because today was the day when he was planning to tell you about his feelings for you.

---

‘8 hours!’ I groaned, throwing my head onto Johnny’s shoulder, ‘you made me wake up at 5am when we’re going to be travelling for 8 hours.’

‘You agreed it was a good idea!’ Johnny exclaimed, laughing, ‘have a nap if you’re that tired sweetheart.’

‘Yeah right! You think I trust any of you lot enough to fall asleep in this thing.’

‘You’ll be fine, I won’t let them do anything,’ Johnny said, all of a sudden serious. I looked up at his face and saw him looking at me intently. I just wish he didn’t wear his damn sunglasses all the so I could actually see what he was thinking. It was quiet between us for a while, neither of us realising we’d moved a bit closer to each other before I cleared my throat slightly, pulling us both back into the present.

‘Fine. I’m using you as a pillow though.’ I said, removing my seatbelt so I could lay down across two seats, my head resting in Johnny’s lap.

‘Fine by me sweetheart,’ Johnny said quietly, one of his arms resting across my waist lightly, acting as a makeshift seatbelt. I let my eyes drift closed and before I knew it I’d fallen asleep in his lap.

---

Johnny had never been so still in his life, too scared to move in case he woke you up. He looked down and smiled softly when he saw how peaceful you looked in your sleep, risking moving to run his finger lightly down your cheek, freezing when you moved in your sleep.

‘Knoxville! Your turn to drive in a bit!’ Dave yelled from the front of the bus.

‘Keep your fucking voice down,’ Johnny whisper-yelled back, ‘anyway no can do, someone else can go next and I’ll go after them, (Y/N)’s asleep.’

‘Why is that stopping you from driving?’ Dave asked, not looking away from the road. Steve-O turned around from his seat in front of Johnny and saw the position you were both in.

‘Yeah, no he’s not driving yet Dave. He’s got his fucking girlfriend in his lap.’

Johnny looked down at you, still sleeping, relieved that nothing had woken you. He traced the line of your hair down your face once more before speaking quiety.

‘She’s not my girlfriend yet.’

[forthehpfanboys]

A Shared Bed

Pair: Ronald Weasley x Reader; he/him.

Summary: You and Ron have always shared beds, it was normal.

Warnings: SMUT (MDI), hand job, dirty talk, grinding. DM me if I missed any.

Notes: I stared this at like 5am today. I wanted to write something that came from me for once because the last time I wrote based off my own idea was the very first story I posted. It was actually really fun.

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

-

It wasn't unusual for you and Ron to share his bedroom when you came over to the Burrow in the summer. In fact it wasn't unusual for you to share the same bed, either. Molly always deemed it perfectly fine, considering you were both boys and all that jazz. She did enjoy hearing you two whispering stories back and forth, your giggles ringing down the creaky staircase as others tried to catch more than a few winks.

Of course, as you two hit your growth spurts, she expected you guys to complain about the lack of space, but it never came. It was clear you two were more than content with the small space and were fine spooning through the night. In fact, that's where you were right now, tucked peacefully under his quidditch quilt, back pressed to his chest. His strong arm was locked across your side allowing him to draw little shapes along your stomach underneath your night shirt.

"Can't sleep?" You turned your head a little. He left his window open letting in not only the breeze from the night, but the moonlight as well. The shimmering light only enhanced his features and caused his eyes to practically glow in the dark. The crystal like blue stole your breath every time you saw them. Suddenly you were questioning if he could feel your heart racing or the sweat building on your palms.

"No. Not tired." His hand paused before lazily drawing a Crescent moon above your belly button. "What about you?" Now it was moving south, slowly inching toward the strings of your sweat pants. You swallowed when his forefinger and thumb grabbed a braided thread and twirled it.

"Brain is too loud." It wasn't a lie. You kept thinking about him. Everything in his room smelled like him and it was making your hormones act up in a way that you couldn't resolve with him laying so close. Tangerine and strawberry was such an interesting shampoo choice for a teenager like him but damn was it quickly becoming your favorite smell. You turned your head to face his pillow and tried to take a subtle sniff -maybe it would ease the thoughts rampaging your skull.

"Wanna talk about it?" Ron's scooted closer to you, his legs bending into the back of yours, his hips pressed flush against your butt. He somehow got closer, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder. His voice was such a soft, deep whisper it made you shudder against him.

When you shook your head no and shifted your body against the mattress, one leg crossing over the other, he took in a sharp breath. Your rear grinded back against his pelvis.

"'m Sorry." You mumbled, trying to will a yawn from your lips. You were giving anything to either melt through the mattress or pass out from embarrassment. Abruptly it was far too hot under the quilt.

"No, it's ok." He whispered, this time into the crook of your neck. You watched him from the corner of your eye, his staring right into yours. You were sure he could see the blush in the moonlight. He gave his hips an experimental roll and the action had your cock hardening. You could feel his own hard-on pressed against the curve of your ass and your mouth absolutely watering for it. "Is this," he trusted again, "ok or do you want me to stop?"

There was a pause of silence where neither of you moved, even his fingers twirling the string of your sweatpants stopped. If you said it was OK, you knew the relationship between you and Ron would be thrown through a loop. It would change faster than the tide and if it crashed, you could never repair it.

But to you, right now, it was well worth the risk.

"Please keep going." Your voice was soft and you would've questioned if he heard it, but when he grabbed your inner thigh and hooked your leg over his hip, you knew he heard it. He placed a kiss right behind your ear while his hand moved back to the elastic of your sweats, this time diving under the fabric.

"You're positive?" his finger trailed across your pelvis, the touch light enough to tickle. Instead of answering, you bent your arm around the back of his head and grabbed onto his hair, moving your hips forward for some kind of touch.

He let out a groan against the shell of your ear, his teeth biting the sensitive flesh before his hand finally wrapped around your half hard cock. He moved slowly, trying to build you up to full mast. Ron was far more worried about your pleasure than his.

You let out a hiss, your thighs shaking already. His palm rubbed across the leaking tip of your throbbing cock to try to lube it before pumping it. When it still wasn't enough, the ginger spat into his hand, causing your eyes to roll back at the minor action.

A huff of air escaped you when his thumb brushed across the sensitive skin of the head of your prick before dragging it back down to the base. He slipped his arm out from under the pillow to raise himself up- he wanted to see your cock hard and leaking. Letting go of you, he dragged your pj pants down to the middle of your thighs before spitting in his hand again and moving it along your prick again.

He shushed you after a soft moan of his name left your lips. He planted a few kisses in your hair before his hips picked up the motion before. He let out a shaky breath, his voice still close to your ear.

"Don't wanna wake the others, do you?" Ron's bright blue eyes watched as your eyes fell closed and your teeth dug painfully into your bottom lip. His hand moved faster while yours gave his hair an encouraging tug. "I bet you'd love that though.” He was interrupted by his own breathy giggle. “Such a naughty thing you are."

"Merlin-" You whined, hips stuttering between moving forward into his hand and pushing back against his cock. You let out another moan when his hand tightened down and gave a particularly slow tug upward.

"Not my name, darling. Want to try again?"

If anyone had told you Ronald B. Weasley was a dirty talker and a charmer, you'd laughed at them, but damn were you grateful. Your toes curled in pure pleasure. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were sure he could feel the beat. You moaned his name, letting your head fall back against his chest. He was grinning and you could hear it in his hushed voice.

“Do that again.” He demanded, his hips rolling harder against yours. You had no idea how close he was to finishing, but you were trembling, getting closer and closer to the cliff of completion. One of your sweaty hands clawed at his wrist while the other tangled in his crisp white sheets.

“Fuck, Ronnie, I’m close.” You gasped out again. You’re back arched away from him. He did nothing to stop you from tumbling off the edge- in fact, he encouraged it by whispering praises in your ear and rubbing his thumb along your most sensitive spots. He didn’t try to muffle your moan at all either. He just smiled his classic Weasley side smirk.

Ron let out a soft laugh and dragged his hand across your stomach, wiping your spunk off on your skin. He ignored your gasp of disgust and kissed your temple again. “You are so special.” Ron said as he wrapped his arms around your stomach and hugged him closer. While your breathing slowed down, his boner pressing into your skin was so obvious as he cuddled closer to you.

“You didn’t finish.” You turned to look at him. He shrugged. You put a hand against his shoulder and shoved him downward, forcing him flat against the bed on his back. You turned over, climbing between his legs. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” You whispered to him, sliding down his boxers.

-

~Taglist~

@catboyazula

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

[mountswhore]

hi there, can you please write one where ben is mad at you because you’re too busy with your job, fluff in the end 🥺 thank you!

of course baby!

𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — ben chilwell

summary: ben wants some quality time with you, but your work is so demanding.

notes: requests are closed

You were up at 5am, steam hitting your face in the shower, coffee warming your belly as you'd chosen what to wear to work. You worked as an editorial assistant for an upcoming fashion magazine. The early mornings and late nights were tedious, but worth it, and it felt like your late University nights with nothing but Pot Noodles in your cupboard were all worth it.

You'd worked hard for your career. Missing out on family events, having to spend your birthdays studying for exams. And throughout it all, your boyfriend had stuck with you. You and Ben had been together since you finished University and met at a photo shoot for the magazine company you were currently working for. Him and Mason Mount, both high-achieving footballers, were the front page. And the pair of you were sewn to the hip since then. Back then, you had just started climbing the ladder for this magazine. Starting as a social media intern to promote the magazine.

Ben didn't even get to say goodbye to you, only waking up to hear the front door shut and tires rolling over the gravel in the driveway. Another Y/N-less day. It was something he was yet to get used to, after your recent promotion to editorial assistant. He remembered being in the car with you, driving to his parents home and hearing you screech. He almost pulled over in fear of you dying, only to see you sobbing into your hands with your phone in your lap, an email confirming your promotion shining onto your face.

You both celebrated with a lovely pub meal, a few drinks, and a wonderful evening together. But since then, he'd barely seen you and how much you'd changed. You'd gotten a hair cut, something that was so massive to him and yet you brushed it off as you took the takeaway out of it's bag. You'd changed your wardrobe for work, going from a casual jeans and blazer, to quite smart pantsuits and heels. He loved it, he wasn't complaining, but he was wondering how you had the time for it.

The next few hours were a bore. He'd showered, eaten, kicked a ball around for a while, and then heard the door open. Thinking, hoping, praying it was you. But no, it was just your assistant, Maddie. The editorial assistant's assistant.

"Hey, Ben," she mumbles breathlessly, sounding as if she hadn't stopped running all morning, "just coming to grab some things for Y/N." She spoke, giving Ben a quick wave before jogging upstairs. After a while, she'd come down with a bag of things, a curling iron poking out of it.

"And she couldn't grab these things herself?" Ben countered, opening the door for her to leave."

"She's in a meeting, bye Ben." Maddie waved once more, strutting back to her car.

Ben let out a heavy sigh, pulling at his hair before falling back onto the couch. What was there to do today? Invite some friends over, play FIFA, order some food, go and see his family? Nothing sounded as good as time with you. He wanted to see you, talk to you, hear you throughout the day, not just give you a quick kiss before bed.

Hey, will you be back in time for dinner tonight? I was thinking of making something nice, he texted you. But your reply wasn't always guaranteed. To his surprise, you'd responded almost immediately.

Another meeting and then I have to revise a column later, so probably.

Perfect! Ben had found his motive for the day, driving to multiple shops to gather ingredients, facetiming his mum to ask how to make a particular dish, and then cooking said dish. It was a task that took the whole of his afternoon, and he was giddy as he rushed to get himself presentable.

5.30 had turned to 6, Ben wasn't worried though, he assumed the traffic was making you late.

But then 6 had turned to 7, 7 had turned to 8. The food was sat in the, now cold, oven. Ben was on the couch on his phone, now in sweats and a hoodie. He was angry, but more than that, he was upset. Upset that he'd tried so hard to make a special evening for the two of you, and once again, you hadn't turned up. Not even a text to say where you were.

You'd gotten home at 8.19pm, entering into a dark home. Ben had promised a lovely dinner, and you'd forgotten. You had texted him at 10am to confirm dinner, and with your hectic schedule, it had slipped your mind. Guilt had overcome you, your heart broke at the sight of him on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through his phone.

"I'm sorry I'm so late home," you confessed, dropping your bag on the bottom stair and leaning on the living room door frame, "what did you make for dinner?" Your attempt to lighten the mood hadn't gone unnoticed, but Ben didn't grasp at your pathetic attempt anyway.

"Doesn't matter now." Ben murmured under his breath, standing up to walk past you and up the stairs, setting himself a mental note to bin the hunter's chicken sat in the oven in the morning. You had followed him upstairs, and stopped him at the bedroom door.

"Ben."

He didn't even turn around, just shaking your hand off his hoodie and continuing his walk to bed. You knew it was your fault, but what more could you do?

"Please, Ben, I'm trying to apologise," you exclaimed, stopping him once again before he climbed into bed, "just let me explain."

"I said it didn't matter, Y/N." Ben replied carelessly, a dull tone to his voice. He sounded completely done with you.

"It does."

"And why's that?"

"Because I know you're mad at me and it's my fault."

Ben scoffed, laughing at how suddenly aware you were now. "I'm mad at you? No, I'm not. I'm upset."

Your face softened as his voice broke, you watched as he sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands.

"I'm upset because I feel like I'm losing you." He admitted, sighing deeply afterwards. "Since your promotion, you've just been constantly working, and I feel like I don't see you anymore. You leave ridiculously early, you get home ridiculously late, and when you get home at a reasonable time, you're always tired."

"I don't choose my work hours, Ben. You know that." You reasoned, but it felt useless. You didn't have a leg to stand on at this point.

"I don't even know you anymore, it's like you're a completely different person since being promoted. Believe me, I'm so happy for you and beyond proud, you deserve it. But don't forget about the only person who was patient with you through it all."

"You don't sound very patient right now." You remarked, your annoyance growing as Ben rattled on about your absence at home.

"Because I'm tired of this, I'm tired of being in a relationship with someone I barely see. I'm tired of telling friends and family you're doing good when they ask about you, because I don't actually know anymore. When was the last time we sat down together and watched a movie, or had some dinner, or went on a date?" Ben argued, his face reddening as he passionately complained. It stung, to face how distant you'd been with not just him, but your personal life as a whole.

"I've lost you, Y/N." He cried, pulling on his hair, "I've lost you to your work."

Silence filled the air, a thick, suffocating silence that had you wanting to choke on your own tears. You'd slowly walked over to Ben, sitting beside him on the bed and placing your hand on his back as he cried. How do you approach a reply to this?

"Putting work before everything is something I'm used to, I've always done it. I guess I just find it so easy to work, work work, because I've been doing it for years," you admitted, having to listen to your words more than Ben did, "I barely give myself a break, you know that. Look, I'm really sorry for missing dinner tonight, I can't imagine how important it was to you. If I could choose, I'd spend all of my time with you, all day every day. But I've worked so hard for my degree, my position with this magazine, it's hard to throw it all away for part-time work."

"I know, I love your drive and work ethic." Ben added, finally looking up at you. Your eyes met his bloodshot ones, telling each other you loved each other without muttering a word. "I can't ask you to cut your hours down. It would be selfish. I just wish I could spend more time with you."

"The reason my schedule has been so hectic is because of my promotion," you spoke, now holding his hand tightly in yours, "once it settles, I'll be home earlier, leave later, I'll even get some weekends off."

The pair of you laughed, Ben reaching his hand up to your cheek and pulling your lips down onto his.

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (1/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: alcohol? Kinda fluffy.

A/n: Inspo. Came from @buckysm3talarm and *wink wink* *nudge nudge* it’s her birthday! Love you girl! 💖 Also, depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Part 2 // Part 3

(Not my gif! I’m sorry @detectiveupton ! I tried to do it the proper way and I couldn’t find it!)

Working at a dinner in Brooklyn sucked. It really sucked. Especially when you work the late shift and don’t get home till just before the sun was about to rise. Luckily, tonight your boss decided to be nice and cut you a bit earlier- 3am instead of 5am; what a gem.

When you finally twist the key to your front door, feeling the air of your apartment on your skin, a loud sigh escapes you. There’s a high or maybe more of a rush you get when you first get home. It’s comparable to taking your socks off in bed; relaxing.

You shrug your jacket from your shoulders, kick your all-stars from your aching feet and change into something comfy. Once you’re dressed down and into more comfortable clothes, you go to the fridge. The feeling of opening your fridge was always underwhelming, since you were barely paying rent you hardly ever had a full fridge. Spotting one of the two beers you had left, you grab it and head to your fire escape.

This had become a nightly thing over the past few months. A rather attractive guy moved in directly across the street from you. He was always up, like you. You honestly started to think he was a vampire or something. There were lights always on, and if they weren’t on the tv was. You checked your watch, 4:30. You should be right on time tonight.

The guy, who you learned’s name is Bucky, woke up every morning from a dead sleep at 4:30am. Had to be nightmares. He was always a little psyched out when he’d wake up. You never asked why. You loved having company at this hour, so you didn’t want to scare him away by asking too personal of questions.

4:31am hit and you sigh, taking a swig from your beer in defeat. You were about to call it a night when he suddenly popped up.

His breathing was heavy, clearly panting. Of course you were curious as to why these nightmares happened so often, but at the same time you knew if he wanted to tell you he would.

Once he calmed down, repositioned himself on the floor, put his arms over his knees, and steadied his breathing, you called out to him.

It was the coolest thing, so you thought. You’d whistle as low as you possibly could, getting louder and louder until he’d hear you. You never go past the first pitch before he’d shoot his head up towards you.

He smirks, walking to his fridge for a beer and then heading to his fire escape as well.

“That never ceases to amaze me.” You laugh, taking another sip of your drink. “How the fuck do you do that.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” He grins, “You’re home early.”

“Ah, you noticed.” You say, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Boss decided to be nice and cut me two hours earlier than usual.”

“Wow, what’d you do with those two whole hours?” He asked, smirking and leaning against the railing of his fire escape.

“Waited for you to wake up.” You admit, laughing into your bottle before taking another sip.

“I guess I’m sort of a creation of habit.” He chuckles. His body relaxes, now sitting in the chair behind him as he fiddles with his bottle.

A silence falls over the both of you, which is normal. Sitting out here in silence just knowing he’s there is more relaxing to you than going in and watching tv. It didn’t hurt that he was half naked either. He is yards away from you but you could still see his perfectly chiseled features. Of course you also noticed the metal arm, but never brought it up. You felt like the arm and the nightmares go into the ill-talk-about-it-when-I-want-to-about-it file, never to be mentioned.

“Why’d he cut you early?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence.

“Oh.. uh, it’s my birthday.” You say sort of nonchalantly. “Well, it was my birthday. I guess it’s technically over now.”

“Ah, someone who works on their birthday has a good work ethic. That’s sexy.” He grins. The deep rasp of his voice makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Happy Birthday, y/n.”

You giggle, a little caught off guard, to say the least.

“Or just shows you how broke I actually am. And thank you.” You both laugh now. It’s a little awkward now because- FUCK DID HE JUST CALL ME SEXY- is all your brain can process at the moment.

Bucky was a natural flirt, that was obvious. Sometimes you’d be able to spit something back at him, but tonight you were almost desperate for him to flirt with you. You’d never seen Bucky up close or anywhere but his fire escape, but you’d come to have a small crush on him.

The nights when he’d sleep in bed you wouldn’t see him. There was internal conflict there. You were glad he’d be sleeping in an actual bed, you assumed, rather than the floor, but he was the only thing that made your dreadful late night shifts worth working. Sometimes you hoped he’d come in to see you, but he never did.

You've been waiting so long for him to make a move that you’re now chomping at the bits. Fortunately, it’s your birthday and you were feeling ballsy. You drank that beer way too fast, meaning you were slightly tipsy and you craved meeting him. Craved knowing how good he probably smells after a morning shower. Craved feeling the cold metal of his fingers against your skin as he ran them along your side, Dirty Dancing style. So, you broke the silence this time,

“You know, I’m off tomorrow if you-“ you trailed off, losing your confidence towards the end.

“Oh, you don’t wanna waste your free time on me.” He sighs, smiling but it’s filled with conflict, pre usual. Such a pretty face to be hidden behind so much remorse.

“I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

“I suppose.” He says bluntly.

“Nothing crazy, Buck. Just beer and football or ballet. Whatever you’re into.” You chuckle at yourself. You expected to see Bucky laughing with you but when you looked up, he wasnt. He’s up from his chair and leaning over the railing again, seeming almost freighted? You couldn’t tell.

“Buck?” He asks. “Oh shit, it just kinda slipped out. I’m so-“

“No, please,” he interrupted. “Please don’t apologize. I’ll be out front of your building around 11am. Sound good?” He seemed to be on the brink of tears but also happy.

You wanted to know everything about this man. The closer you got, though, the more you realized you’d probably know everything and nothing at all about him. He was those knotted up earphones that were a pain to unravel but worth untangling in the long run.

“11am sounds perfect.” you give him a half smile, not wanting to come off too eager. “I should probably get to bed then, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. Me too.”

You got up, stretched then turned towards your apartment, but not before whispering, “Goodnight, Buck.”

You didn’t know what the nickname held for him and he knew that. It just felt so good and sounded so sweet coming for your lips.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Bucky whispered.

//

Masterlist

A/n: I hope you enjoyed whatever this was lol depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Taglist: @haydens-moles @animefangirl425 @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @dinos-lavapit @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @alyssa-skywalker @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger