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sehunniepotwrites · 2 months ago

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with a little pixie dust | mk.l

It’s just a little faith and trust, and with a little pixie dust, your wildest dreams will be yours.

SYNOPSIS. There are so many ways your friend group could have chosen to celebrate your graduation from university but they chose the one way that fit their childlike antics most of all–going to Disneyland. With all the screams of joy and laughter filing the atmosphere, you see why people call it The Happiest Place on Earth. It’s where magic comes alive, hearts soar to the skies, and where dreams come true. With your dream job already lined up for you once you get back from this vacation, you wonder if your last and wildest fantasy–the one that carries Mark Lee endearingly close to your heart–will take flight. (But don’t worry; your best friends, with a little help of pixie dust, are determined to make it come alive by the end of night.)

GENRE. Fluff, Comedy, Best friends-to-lovers!AU, Theme Park!AU, Disneyland!AU, meddling/matchmaking friend group, all the romantic tropes that come with a theme park setting

WORD COUNT. 11.9k

WARNINGS. a lot of Disney references (movies, songs, parks, etc.), profanity, food/drink consumption, theme park rides, nothing too crazy tbh

PARK ANNOUNCEMENTS. I understand that not everyone has been to Disneyland. Because I want to paint the perfect picture in your head as you read through the fic, each scene will be titled with the land/area they are in and a picture of the land/area will be hyperlinked with a visual. It's unnecessary to click them but it would be a lil helpful! <3 DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters and concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work.

Your graduation commencement came and went. The spectacle flew by so slowly but so quickly at the same time. You can’t exactly describe how you’re feeling now that you’ve graduated–relief is mixed in with panic, happiness mixed with dread. It’s a jumble of emotions you can’t quite comprehend but alas, that is the wonder of adulthood.

The happiest takeaway from your college experience is not the expensive degree you earned but the special friends you made. Karina was the first friend you made in college because she was your roommate. She introduced you to her high school friend, Jeno, who then dragged you two to the ginormous welcome event. It was there you met Donghyuck and last but definitely not least, Mark Lee.

The other two boys were attractive, yes, but there was something about Mark that drew you to him. Donghyuck talked as much as him, sure, and Jeno’s attractiveness was on another level than Mark’s but that boy immediately caught your attention. Maybe it was the way he spoke and never completed a thought or the way he’d laugh so unabashedly, losing all control of his body that got to you. He was so incredibly endearing that your heart just claimed him. Years later, when the friendship is stronger than ever, that beating muscle in your chest refuses to let Mark go.

One morning the summer after graduation, you wake up in a hotel room with an alarm blaring at 6:00am. You roll over and groan, blindly reaching to stop the device. Karina is rustling inside the sheets next to you, hoping the noise will go away. Jeno and Donghyuck are on the other bed snoring up a storm. Mark, on the other hand, rolls uncomfortably on the pull-out couch.

On normal days, the alarm set for six in the morning would be a sin but today is not a regular day. It is the day your group saved up for.

The five of you, with your similar interests in movies and theme parks, wanted to go to Disneyland together for years. After graduation, you finally had the money and freedom for it.

Your hypothetical plan finally made it out of the group chat—that is your driving force to get up. While doing so, you hit Karina’s side and she grumbles in response. The two of you agreed you’d wake up earlier since it would take you longer to get ready. The guys, however, could sleep in.

As you quietly pass by the couch, Mark asks, “Is it time to get up already?” He must’ve heard the shuffling. There's darkness under his eyes. You can tell he didn’t sleep well last night. On top of his eyes struggling to open up, his voice sounds incredibly hoarse and filled with fatigue.

“No,” you answer, patting his messy head of brown hair. His body reacts positively to your touch, eyes closed and neck stretching to meet your touch. He releases a relaxed sigh as your fingers card through his thick strands.

Lowering yourself to his level, you continue to play with his hair. “Sleep well last night?”

“Nah, not really, like dude, this shit really isn’t comfortable,” he complains with a deep exhale, “but I volunteered to take the couch so…”

“Move to mine,” you tell him, gesturing to the unmade bed. You hear the water running and figure that Karina jumped into the shower to help wake herself up. “Try to get a little more sleep, I’ll wake you up in a bit.”

Too tired to fight back, Mark languidly moves towards the bed. Once close enough, his body drops onto the mattress and he wiggles his way under the covers. You watch him until his breathing evens out. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep; after all, he did most of the driving on your road trip down to Southern California. Satisfied, you move to start your morning hotel routine.

The fresh smell of coffee hits you as you do your skin care, apply your makeup, and brush your teeth. Karina’s done in the bathroom shortly after and you claim it to change into your outfit of the day. When the final touches of your look are finished, forty minutes have passed and it’s time to wake up the rest.

You wake Jeno first because he’s the easiest and whisper that there’s fresh coffee waiting for him. Donghyuck throws a bit of a fit when you shake him awake, stuffing his face in his pillow. He gets up after a few threats from Karina, whining over how mean she is to him.

Part of you wants to let Mark rest for a little bit longer, especially after knowing how exhausted he is. There’s the option of letting the other three go first while you wait for Mark to wake up naturally. The other half of you, however, thinks about two things: how much money you all spent getting these tickets and how you promised each other to be at Disneyland from open to close to make your splurge worth it. Being Mark’s best friend, you know how disappointed the guy would be if you stayed behind with him. So with no choice left, you wake him up.

You do so gently, your hand immediately going back to his unruly hair. You comb back his bangs and hold them in place. “Mark, it’s your turn now, everyone else is almost ready.”

As soon as he hears your voice, he stirs. Mark blinks the sleep away, and suddenly, you are the first thing he sees. With you sitting on the bed next to him and your hand still in his hair, Mark thinks he’s still dreaming. “Hmmm?”

“It’s your turn, Spidey,” you say, taking a sip of coffee. “We’re all ready.”

He buries his head in your lap for just a second, wanting to keep this little moment with him a little longer.

“Okay,” he finally says a minute later, before slipping out of bed.

Karina claims her rightful place next to you on your shared bed, still warm from Mark’s little nap. She shoots you a look and you ignore her knowing stare. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” she challenges you, perfectly drawn eyebrows raised in question.

“That,” you gesture to her face.

“Oh, you mean the look I’m giving you when you share a little cute moment with your best friend who is most definitely more than a best friend, fine, I won’t do that,” Karina pretends to give up, her hands raised in surrender.

You shush her at once, looking over to the boys that are currently fighting over the sink. Mark’s already dressed in some black cargo pants and an oversized Spider-Man shirt. He’s in the midst of styling his hair, struggling with one strand that will not stay in place. You hear his frustrated huffs and puffs while Jeno and Haechan chuckle at his antics.

“Does my baby need help?” Donghyuck teases, reaching for Mark’s hair.

“Yo, dude, no, stop! You’re gonna mess it up!” Mark shouts, backing away from him. “Don’t you dare touch me!”

“But you can’t do it on your own, my sweet baby, I’ll help you,” Donghyuck continues with the bit.

You remove yourself from Karina’s conversation and break the two idiots up.

“C’mere,” you gesture towards Mark.

He instantly comes to you, dipping his head down to your level as you lean against a piece of furniture. Your fingertips curl that one strand just the way he likes it, framing his forehead, and smile when it’s all finished. So focused on his hair, you almost don’t notice how close his face is to yours. Your breath hitches and you lean back to create more distance.

Removing your hand from his hair, you smooth the non-existent wrinkles on his baggy tee.“There you go, not hard at all.”

“Right,” he murmurs back, body frozen in place but his large, pretty eyes still aimed at you.

You clear your throat. “I, um, need to–”

“Oh yeah no, sorry,” he stumbles over his words, moving so you can get through. You shuffle past him, pretending to do a last minute check of your crossbody bag. His stare lingers on you as you fuss over your belongings and put on your Mickey ears.

You try to shake away your thoughts but Karina won’t let you. She slides up to you with a playful smile. “Not even eight in the morning and you’ve already had two little moments. When’s number three happening?”

“In your wildest dreams,” you snap back with a hiss, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Wanting to avoid the conversation from moving further, you open the door. “Let’s move, slowpokes, we gotta go!”

“Or yours,” Karina takes the last word as she exits the room.

You can’t argue with your roommate because she’s right. You've been wanting to be with Mark and calling him yours since your first year. Yes, there were times in the past when it seemed like he wanted the same–moments just like the two you just shared–but nothing was explicitly said or done. Feelings were left unsaid. They lingered in the air until the romantic vibe fizzled out and the moment ended. To love and be loved by Mark Lee is your wildest dream. It’s the one you’re sure will never come true. However, there’s a sort of magic in the air in Disneyland–a magic that will make even the impossible possible. You wonder if that bit of magic will apply to you, too.

✨ TOMORROWLAND

7:45am arrives and your friends are following you like little ducklings following their mother. Without you, they would be lost causes.

It’s not your first time in the parks so naturally, you are the one who takes charge. You have all the tickets on your phone, scanning them one by one at the main entrance gate as your friends go through the turnstiles. They wait patiently until you are the last one through the gate.

Karina holds your hand, giggling as you stroll through Main Street, happily taking in the sights and sounds of Disneyland. Mark, Jeno, and Donghyuck are behind you, phones out to capture anything and everything in sight. You hear them excitedly discussing the map, mentioning things that they want to do, and you mentally take note of them all.

At exactly 8am, the ropes held by the cast members drop, signaling the official opening of the park. You quickly lead your friends towards the right of the famous castle and fight your way into Tomorrowland for Space Mountain. As one of the most popular attractions, it’s not so bad in the mornings when you’re one of the firsts in line. Jeno mentioned this ride in the past and you are determined to get him on it.

The crowd is packed like sardines and Karina links her arm through yours as people shove their way through. Amidst the craziness, someone grabs hold of your free hand from behind. From the way his hand fits in yours, you can tell exactly who it is. Jeno’s hand is much larger than this one and it’s a lot rougher than Donghyuck.

You turn your head to see Mark who asks you a question with a simple look. He knows you’re not too fond of crowds and is using this silent exchange as a check-up. You appreciate the gesture, much like how you appreciate every other way Mark looks out for you, and reassure him with a squeeze of his hand. You’ve frequented the park many times over the years so despite the mass of people, you know the theme park like the back of your hand. Mark returns the action and brushes his thumb against your knuckles. He doesn’t let go as the crowd dissipates into the ride queue and you don’t mind that at all.

As much as you love this dark roller coaster, you partially dread going on the ride, or any ride for that matter. The uneven number in your group guarantees that one person will be a single rider throughout the day and you are certain that will be you. Jeno and Karina have been dating for a while now, so it makes sense that they ride together. Even with Mark’s hand still in yours, you’re certain he’ll sit with Donghyuck. When it comes to Mark, Donghyuck loves to cling to his best friend, no matter how annoyed the older one gets. It’s their thing and has been since childhood so who are you to get in the way of that?

The wait goes by quickly, especially with the entertaining debates your friend group comes up with while queued up. It takes your group a mere thirty minutes to get to the front of the line. Once assigned your rows, you wiggle your hand out of Mark’s grip and silently move toward the last gate to make room for Donghyuck.

“Wait, where are you going?” Mark masks his hurt with a confused tone.

“To the back,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh,” his tone drops and you can barely hear him through the echoing sounds of the ride. “I thought–”

“Huh?” you shout from the back row.

Seeing you in the last row, Donghyuck pauses for a second as if contemplating on where to go. “Wait. Why are you here?”

“What do you mean? Are you saying I can’t be here?”

“No. You’re supposed to be–” Your mischievous friend is cut off by the gates opening and the employees instructing you to enter and lower your lap bars. You do what they say and Donghyuck sighs before moving to sit with Mark.

You notice the frustrated look on Donghyuck’s face and an exasperated one on Mark’s but it’s too loud in the room to hear whatever serious thing they’re discussing. You try to lean in closer to catch a glimpse of their conversation but by the time the safety checks are done, you’re launched into darkness at a high speed with the ride soundtrack and Mark’s screams of terror filling your ears.

The ride ends quickly and you all rush to find your photo. Everyone in your vehicle looks like they enjoyed the ride minus Mark, who hid his handsome face in Donghyuck’s arm. The green-eyed monster makes a short appearance in your mind and you wonder how it would’ve been if you stayed with Mark. Would he cling onto you like that too, with his arm looped through yours and his face buried in your neck?

“Why didn’t you tell me this was a roller coaster?” Mark whines as you take a picture of the screen. You immediately send it to your group chat and Giselle, the one person missing on this trip, reacts to it right away.

“Because I knew you’d try to get out of it, you scaredy cat.”

“Rude,” he scoffs, clinging onto you as you lead them to a breakfast spot.

“Spidey, it’s really not that bad.”

“Yeah, says the thrill seeker,” Mark pouts at you, which makes you pinch his cheek. It’s not as soft as it used to be, his baby fat from your first year long gone. It’s replaced by the prominent bone structure that only highlights the features that you secretly want to kiss. “Warn a guy next time.”

“Okay, okay but you still did it! I’m proud of you!”

“Yeah but…” His voice trails off.

“But?” You echo, wondering what Mark wants to say.

He looks shyly at you, a faint redness painting his skin, “Can you sit by me next time?” He asks because you make him feel brave even when he isn’t.

Mark’s timid request has you grinning from ear to ear and your heart beating faster than any roller coaster you’ve been on. Your best friend is expecting an answer, you can tell by his teeth sinking into his thin bottom lip and brown boba eyes widening with each second.

“I mean, you know, like, sitting with Hyuck is cool,” Mark stutters when you don’t answer, trying to explain himself, “but I’d–well, I thought you were gonna sit next to me?” His voice raises at the end due to nervousness and you can’t help but giggle.

“You mean, you were gonna leave poor Hyuck all alone?” you poke fun at him.

Mark deadpans, “He’d survive on his own.”

“I mean, I’ve been here before and it’s everyone else’s first time. I’m okay riding by myself,” you push back with a frown, trying to convince Mark and yourself for that matter, “I just want to make sure everyone is having a good time.”

“I get that but–”

“We’re here!” you cut him off, stopping in front of a quick-service restaurant. You gesture to the door and the others go inside.

Donghyuck, Jeno, and Karina make their way in. You move to follow them but Mark stops you with a hand to your wrist. He hesitates, his mouth opening and closing, and you patiently wait for what he needs to express. The boy lets out a long exhale.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is that riding with Hyuck is fun and all but I…” He pauses again. Mark has this habit of not finishing a full thought and you think this is one of those times. Despite that, you listen attentively. “I want you to be my ride partner today, okay?”

And again, your heart shoots to the moon. Its fuel is the adrenaline that runs through your veins as you process his words. A hint of a smile begins to peak out as Mark fuses in front of you.

“I mean, like, I’ve been to theme parks with Hyuck since we were kids, I’m not missing much with that and I just–I kinda–you know–want to experience things with you today.”

The way he confesses this, like every other thing Mark does, is adorable. You hope your forgetful brain will store this memory along with the rest of your core ones. He’s about to go off on another rant, you can tell by the small puffs of breath he takes and the redness that’s flushing his ears, so you end it before it starts.

You cup a hand over his cheek to stop him from going even further and your fingers sense his rapidly beating pulse. “Okay,” you reply softly.

That one word alone has Mark’s expression changing from an unsure one to the brightest face you’ve seen him make all morning. He rivals the sparkles on top of the castle and the bright sun that’s shining over you.

“Really?” He perks up.

“Yeah,” you giggle at his change in mood, “now let’s get some food in you, Spidey boy.”

✨ THE CASTLE

“Get out, Hyuck! Why are you like this?” Karina yells from her spot beside Jeno, clearly frustrated with your friend.

Karina and Jeno stand at the side of the castle, far enough from the crowds but close enough to still get their picture with the iconic landmark. Donghyuck is just out of frame, ready to jump in to ruin whatever adorable shot the couple is trying to take. It doesn’t really matter since you’re continuously snapping away on Karina’s phone. Knowing those two, more than one picture will turn out beautiful. Looking at them, how could they not?

“Because you’re taking too damn long and I want pictures too!”

“You already got yours!” Completely used to their bickering, you shake your head behind the camera.

She’s right. You’ve already taken everyone’s solo pictures at this picturesque spot–Karina taking the longest–and now there were requests for group or partner shots. Jeno, being the perfect Instagram boyfriend, helped take the shots of you and your girl best friend with no pointers needed. You thought you were almost done with this photoshoot but you guessed wrong.

“Not with Mark though!” Donghyuck shouts back, pulling Mark to his side.

“Yo, wait, what?” Mark squeaks.

“You got good enough shots, so move!” Donghyuck has no shame when shoving the resident couple away and dragging Mark to the exact place they stood. You shoot Karina an apologetic look, handing her phone back, right before you grab hold of Donghyuck’s device.

The younger of the duo, as affectionate as he is, has no problem hugging Mark tightly for a picture. Mark sighs but goes with it without much of a fight. You take pictures of Donghyuck hugging Mark from behind, clinging onto the older’s arm, forcing him into making a heart and standing back-to-back. As this goes on for several minutes, you endlessly snap pictures, not even looking at the screen anymore. While doing so, you miss the hushed conversation that happens at the other end of the camera.

“Why am I doing this with you?” Mark hisses in between a grin. His arm around Donghyuck tightens and the younger one almost chokes at the sudden attack. “Are we done yet?”

“Why? Is there someone else you want to take pictures with?”

“Shut up.”

“I will not,” Donghyuck whispers under his breath, wiggling out of Mark’s grip. His volume raises as he announces, “Mark, catch me!” With that, the mischievous kid jumps onto Mark’s back and the elder of the duo has no choice but to do what he says.

Mark groans, “Why are you so annoying?”

“I will continue to be annoying until you man up,” Donghyuck nuzzles his forehead into Mark’s hair with a smirk. “I could keep this going or–”

With that, Mark lets go of his friend’s thighs and Donghyuck slides down with a helpless yelp. The boy is dramatic while dropping to the ground but Mark pays little attention to the action. Instead, he smiles shyly at you.

You raise an eyebrow at the duo’s suspicious actions. “Are you guys good or can we move on now?”

“I–um, actually–” He’s stuttering over his words more than usual, a red tainting his normal skin tone. You know he’s embarrassed but you can’t figure out what’s making him feel this way. The chaotic duo is up to their usual antics of Donghyuck being irritatingly touchy and Mark slowly losing his patience with it all so there’s no visible variable in your eyes. So, what’s the difference in this situation?

“What’s up?” When he doesn’t answer right away, you take that as a sign to keep moving. You turn your body away from him, adjust the straps of your bag to feel more comfortable, and get ready to move on. The park app on your phone is open to all the current wait times and you note that Fantasyland has low numbers, determining the most logical choice for your next destination.

You open your mouth, preparing to spill out your plan to explore Fantasyland when Mark’s feeble voice breaks the silence.

You don’t quite hear him the first time, leaning towards him in hopes that will help you focus on his voice alone. The excitement around the area only increases when the park marching band makes their way to the center of the castle for their afternoon set. Mark huffs in frustration when you fail to hear him for the second time.

But as they say, the third time’s always the charm.

“Take a picture with me!” he yells when the band goes silent. The flush on his face increases tenfold and you almost coo at how flustered he is. His eyes were wide, almost begging for you to grant his request. His ears match the color of his Spider-Man plush hanging on the belt loop of his bottoms.

Wanting to tease him a little more, you say, “We already took a group picture, Marky.”

You hold back your laugh when his hand goes back to fumble with his hair. He muses it, the strands now messy, making him look even more endearing than ever.

“Yeah but–you know what I mean,” Mark’s voice drops at the end, his lips forming a pout. How desperately you want to peck his cheeks but you refrained, still scared of crossing that line. His brows furrowed. “You know what, never mind, dude, let’s go.”

Just as he began to walk away, you tugged him back into place. “I know what you meant, Spidey, I just wanted to mess with you.”

“You’re so mean to me,” he sulks and your fingers reach out to pinch his cheeks. It’s not quite a kiss but it’s close enough.

You run your fingers through his messy hair, quickly fixing it and Mark just lets you, enjoying the little touches you are so willing to give.

“Hyuckie, can you please?” Donghyuck knows exactly what you’re asking of him, taking the phone out of your hands. He sets your phone to 0.5, bends down to get a better angle, and begins to snap away. All the while, you and Mark are a bit awkwardly standing side-by-side for the pictures. Your bodies are stiff--his hand is barely around your waist while his other hand is holding up a peace sign. You copy his pose, your fingers automatically making a V.

“You guys,” Donghyuck sighs, grabbing the attention of Karina and Jeno, “at least act like you’re having fun with these pics. We’re at fucking Disneyland right now.”

Karina laughs at how hopeless the two of you are. She takes pity on you and jumps in to give directions on how to improve your poses. “Mark, if you can just tighten your grip around her waist–”

Mark gulps, his nerves at an all-time high. Your best friend underestimates his own strength as he does what he is told. It happens a little too abruptly and you’re suddenly lurching into his body. Your head lightly hits his chest and you place a hand on the spot to create a little distance. He immediately fusses over you, looking down to check if you’re okay and it turns you into a giggling mess.

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” you reassure Mark with a bright smile on your face.

Once he notices that you are nothing but smiles, the curve of Mark’s pretty mouth matches yours. It brightens his handsome face so much that it matches the glitter found at the castle tops. You take a mental picture of the face he makes, eyes and nose scrunched up with happiness, and the golden glow of the summer sun illuminating his beaming aura.

Mark shakes his head and chuckles, pulling you into a hug. You sink into his hold, your chin perching on his shoulder.

In your mind, Mark Lee is your (awkward) Prince Charming. While you stand together by the castle, you cherish every second he makes you feel like royalty. He rocks you for a couple of seconds, swaying to the song playing in his head, and then pulls away. His stare, however, never leaves yours. You don’t dare break the connection. Your eyes curve up into little crescent moons and your hands drift back down to his chest. You feel the slight heaving from his laughter and it makes you giggle even more.

“Stop laughing at me,” he says with a smile.

“Never,” you reply, sticking your tongue out at him.

The two of you are so caught up in your little moment, that you forget that your friends have phones in their hands, documenting everything that just occurred.

“Oh, that one’s cute,” Karina says, snapping the two out of your shared reverie. Jeno and Donhyuck’s heads peak over her shoulders to look at the picture she’s talking about and they hum in reply. Then, she lifts up the phone to your eye level. You and Mark lean forward to take a closer look but the boy refuses to let go of you as you scroll through the selection.

Your finger swipes through what feels like thousands of photos before landing on one that catches your eye. In the photo, you’re so consumed in your laughter, lids closed happily and your dazzling smile half-covered by your hand. Mark holds you in his arms, fondly looking at you with sparkling eyes.

You stare at it a little too long, taking in the way he looks at you. You steal a glance at him and he’s wearing that same soft smile as he scans the photo. It made you wonder if your best friend always looked at you that way. You wonder if this was your first time making note of it.

You pull yourself out of it, knowing that if you ruminate on it anymore, you'll sink into a deep neverending ocean. Your finger taps the bottom of the screen and the heart fills up, adding the picture to your favorite album. You just know this is a picture that had to be included in your photo dump.

“I like this one,” you muster out, fighting the urge to make eye contact with him.

You feel a squeeze around your waist, one that lingers for a moment, and hear him whisper, “I like this one too.”

Mark says it with certainty and with a hint of longing like there’s a deeper meaning behind his words.

There is, of course, a message buried in his words. Mark likes how it’s just the two of you in the picture. He likes how it encapsulates how happy the two of you are in each other’s company. He likes it because it shows how in love with you he is. Mark especially likes it because it has you in it.

Mark Lee likes–no, loves–anything with you in it.

Mark loves you.

Point blank.

Mark loves you.

And Mark hopes that by the end of the night in this magical place, where anything can happen, he can gather enough faith and trust in himself to tell you how he truly feels.

✨ FANTASYLAND

While strolling through Fantasyland, where all things fairy tales come to life, you make a pit stop at a store filled with costumes for princes and princesses. Your friends were amazed to see that deeper into the store, there was a salon that catered especially to children. All the kids sitting in the salon chairs were beaming with excitement as they got their hair and makeup done while dressed up as their favorite characters.

Karina coos as a little princess dressed as Rapunzel passed by her. She ran her fingers through the skirt ends of the costumes, admiring all the different dresses, while the boys immediately reached for the plastic weapons and shields. You hear their dramatic noises as Donghyuck stabs Jeno with a sword. Mark’s familiar laughter bounces off the walls as the fight continues, his hand shakily recording the ridiculous exchange.

“What is this place?” Karina asks curiously, turning to you for an answer. You knew she would love this place–the girl, although people perceived her as a tough girl, loved anything that had to do with princesses.

There’s a sparkle in her eye, which only brightens when she approaches the section belonging to her favorite princess. Karina grabs hold of a pretty character headband, removing the one that’s on her head and tries on the new one. She spins to face you, silently asking if it looks good on her, and you nod enthusiastically, giving her a thumbs up.

“Welcome to the Bippity Boppity Boutique,” you reply happily. Pointing to the cast members working on their guests, you continued, “They’re called Fairy Godmothers in Training. They help the kiddos with their makeovers.”

“Have you done it before?” Mark pops up out of nowhere, a little out of breath from the play fighting he did with the other two. He must’ve joined in the little spar after taking some pictures.

“Yeah, when I was little. I was Cinderella,” you laugh, remembering how pleased you were to be in the chair. You remind yourself to look for those photos; it’s been a while since you’ve seen them. “Can’t do it now as an adult though. Sorry, Rina.”

“Then why’d you bring me here?” She pouts at that, “To torture me? That’s mean. There goes my dream of being a princess.”

Mark bites back a chuckle at her bitter response and Karina has no trouble slapping his shoulder to shut him up. You choose to ignore the childish exchange.

“Well,” you start to say, inching towards the counter where a cast member eyes you curiously. “We can’t get full makeovers but we can get pixie dusted.”

“Pixie dusted?” Mark echoes, tilting his head in confusion. Your fingers twitch and you fight the urge to pet his head.

“The fairy godmothers have wands with them and they basically sprinkle glitter on top of your head while you make a wish. It’s really cute!”

The light in Karina’s eyes glows even brighter than before. “Really? Oh my god, can I do it?!” she asks, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

“I knew you’d like it,” you giggle.

“Babe!” She calls Jeno over.

His head pops up over a display, resembling a puppy hopping out of a hole they just dug. “Yeah?”

“Get pixie dusted with me,” Karina requests, reaching out for him with her wiggling fingers.

Jeno quickly sets down the toys he was playing with, leaving a whining Donghyuck behind, and follows his girlfriend’s lead blindly.

You and Mark watch them silently, both with smiles on your faces, as the couple holds hands and closes their eyes. The worker mumbles a little spiel as she taps her wand, the glitter raining down on their heads. Your camera is at the ready, finger holding down on the burst button for this special moment, capturing Karina’s tiny squeals and Jeno’s chuckles as the pixie dust settles in their hair and on their skin.

“Anyone else?” The Fairy Godmother in Training asks politely, looking at you expectantly.

Mark nudges your side. “You gonna do it?”

“Of course. I’ll never pass up getting pixie dusted,” you say matter-of-factly, stepping forward.

“I want to do it, too,” Mark proclaims, stepping with you.

You laugh and warn him, “You wanna deal with glitter in your hair? It’s going to stay there for days.”

He shrugs, “They grant wishes, right? Maybe I need mine to come true.”

“Oh, yeah? And what wish is that, Spidey?”

He holds a slender figure to his lips. “If I tell you, then it definitely won’t come true. And I need all the help I can get with this one.”

You eye him suspiciously and when he doesn’t give it up, you sigh in defeat. Preparing yourself for the glitter, you bow your head down and close your eyes with your fingers linked together in the tightest hold. Your best friend nudges his forehead against yours and you let out a surprised giggle.

Just like Mark said he needs all the help he can get. He isn’t wishing for any regular thing. He wishes for something more precious than that–your heart.

Sure, this is most likely playing make-believe but Mark Lee wants to believe in it. Maybe this is the little bit of magic he needs. Some might say he’s too old for this sort of thing but he wants to believe in fairy godmothers. He wants to believe in the shiny powder that they call pixie dust. He wants to believe in the magic that you do.

So when the glitter pours down on him, Mark shuts his eyes tightly and grips your hands with all his might.

Mark wishes for your wish to come true,

Mark wishes for your happiness.

But most of all, Mark wishes to be yours.

Your next stop is quite the staple in the park and it’s a must-do on your list. Luckily, they all agree with you and suddenly, you are in line for the iconic teacups. For the summer, the wait isn’t too long–a mere fifteen minutes before it’s your group’s loading time. Before getting on the ride, the five of you decide to break into two groups instead of all squeezing into one tiny spice.

In their excitement, Karina and Donghyuck rush to claim a vehicle. Donghyuck lightly shoves Karina’s side when he realizes they are both aiming for the same cup, causing her to lose her balance. She groans once he hops into the pink teacup with hearts decorating the sides and scurries to grab another pink cup.

“Why are you two like this?” You shout after them, shaking your head.

“When are we not like this?” Hyuck shouts back, his arms already spread across the rim of the cup. He calls you to join him and you do, closely followed by Mark.

Once you are seated and the door to the vehicle is closed, Donghyuck’s expression changes. “We need to spin this baby as fast as we can and we need to last longer than”–he sends a playful glare towards Jeno, whose hands are already resting on the wheel–“them.”

“Oh god, not this shit again,” you roll your eyes.

The boys have an ongoing competition when it comes to spinning rides like these. Whoever spins for the longest period wins; the losers have to treat the winners to a prize of their choice. In the past, it’s been food, plushies, and anything else you can think of.

“Can we just be normal for once?”

“Bubs,” Mark laughs, “when are we ever normal?”

“Touche.”

Donghyuck dramatically drops his hands on the wheel, “Are you ready?”

There’s really no point in this competition. Although Jeno has a stronger build than you, Mark, or Donghyuck, there are only two of them in their cup as opposed to the three of you. There’s a clear winner. Despite that, you copy your mischievous friend’s actions, a smile breaking through your unamused facade. “Alright, Hyuck.”

The spiel is blasted over the speakers, the music begins, and off you all go. Laughter surrounds you as the ride begins to spin. Your hands speedily make work and giggles spill out of your mouth when your hands pile on top of Donghyuck. Your friend matches your enthusiasm, his face crinkled in concentration as he turns the wheel, his whole body moving along with the teacup. You steal a glance at Jeno and Karina; seeing them only fueled your competitiveness and motivation to win this useless contest.

Mark, on the other hand, did not add to the spinning. He just watches his best friends, phone in hand. The device captures the most candid moments of you—smile wide enough to hear your laughter through the screen, hair flying in the wind, hands either gripping the wheel or Donghyuck when the cup goes a little too fast.

Mark snaps a picture of you and Donghyuck cackling, bodies thrown over each other in the height of their fun. Even when your gorgeous smile is aimed at his best friend and not him, jealousy isn’t coursing through his veins. A warm feeling does instead—Mark just loves to see you happy.

He captures one last picture of you, your bright grin shining at him, and your hand reaching towards his camera. If someone were to play that Live Photo back, they would hear the giggles living in your voice as you call Mark’s name to join in on the fun.

This picture is the one he saves in his favorites folder and of course, in his heart.

✨ AVENGERS CAMPUS

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” you ask Mark although the answer is obvious. Ever since you got in line, the boy beside you fidgeted with anything and everything possible. When he wasn’t playing with the keychains on your bag, he messed with the drawstrings of his cargo pants. He had a hard time staying still.

“No one asked you, Bubs," Mark hisses. His voice softens a moment later when he apologizes for snapping. The fussiness he exhibits is adorable in all kinds of ways and you fight the urge to mess with his hair in the meantime. You know it would only make him feel worse.

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know,” you reassure him as the people in front of you step forward. “It’s not every day you meet your childhood hero.”

“Isn’t this–I don’t know–a bit childish of me to feel like this? I mean, it’s just a guy in a suit.”

“Hey,” you say, hating the way your best friend tried to bring himself down, “we’re here to let our inner child out. If you’re nervous or excited or whatever you’re feeling, just feel it.”

Mark sighs as the line moves again. “Right. You’re right.”

You laugh, ruffling his hair, “Aren’t I always?”

The boy groans, fingers immediately rising to fix his fringe. “Don’t mess it up, dude, it’s almost my turn.”

A soft giggle escapes your lips instead of an apology. You’re so fond of him. “You’re too cute.”

His cheeks flush with a bright red which only increases his cuteness factor. Mark, flustered as ever, opens his mouth to ask what you mean by that. His sentence is interrupted by the character attendant calling for the next person in line. Your best friend’s nerves are at an all-time high at this point and he looks to you for support.

You shake your head negatively and gesture to the phone in your hand. “This is all you, I have to take your pics!”

Mark sticks his tongue at you in retaliation before taking a deep breath. He approaches the awaiting figure with a cautiousness you’ve never seen from him. But with all due respect, Spider-Man is standing right there in front of him. If your favorite comic book and superhero character of all time stood in front of you, you’d probably react the same way.

“H-hey,” Mark stutters out. You stifle a laugh as you snap the first picture of Mark and Spider-Man shaking hands.

“Hey, man, what’s your name?” Spider-Man greets enthusiastically. He gestures to Mark’s Spider-Man shirt, “Love the shirt.”

“It’s Mark,” he manages to say, “I’m a big fan. We just went on your ride and it was so cool.” Mark gestures to the building behind them, which housed the ride. It was an interactive ride that tasked the riders to help Spider-Man save the Avengers-themed area by shooting webs with motion-tracking technology. “My arm’s kinda tired though, I don’t think I could shoot webs like you.”

His rambling comment makes Spider-Man chuckle, his voice muffled through the red mask. “Yeah, I guess slinging webs isn’t for everyone. But hey, maybe if you train more, and go on the ride a few more times, you’ll be just as good as I am. We’re always looking to recruit new members to the team. You look like you’d be a great addition.”

Mark’s eyes glow with delight as the actor continues to shower him with compliments. “Yo, wait, that’d be so cool!”

“Should I show you some poses to start off with?” Spider-Man excitedly suggests. Mark easily complies and happily follows all the instructions the superhero gives him. While doing so, they stare right into your camera and you snap several photos of each pose.

The joy radiating off of Mark’s face is enough to make your heart soar to a new height. The merriment he and your other friends exhibit as they make their way through the park is why you keep coming back. Disneyland brings everyone’s happiest self out and you will never grow tired of seeing people’s youthfulness shine through.

“Got ‘em!” you shout from your place, giving the duo a thumbs up.

You laugh as both of them return the thumbs up with a lightning-quick speed. Many people pointed out Mark’s speedy reactions, calling them his Spidey senses. Seeing Mark stand tall right next to Spider-Man himself, reacting the same way the character does, makes the term all the more fitting for your friend.

“Hey, you wanna jump in with us for a picture, too?” Spider-Man calls out to you.

“Oh!” you exclaim, not expecting that at all. Your sole goal was to take Mark’s picture with his hero. The thought of you joining in for a picture didn’t even cross your mind. “Sure, why not?” you grin, quickly handing the phone to the attendant on standby.

You swiftly shuffle into position, copying Spider-Man’s iconic pose, as the cast member takes a couple of shots on your phone. They prompt you to pose for the professional camera they have on hand as well and the three of you switch up your poses. The wide smile on your face is identical to Mark’s as the flash goes off. A feeling higher than contentment floods your entire being. You’re happy, incredibly so, to be in this moment with Mark and his hero.

You’re happy.

You see Mark dive right into another rambling burst with the prettiest little sparkle in his eye and you’re in love.

You’re happy and in love with Mark.

Standing by for just a second, you see Spider-Man turn to you and nod his head in acknowledgment. Wordlessly, you open your arms to ask for a hug and the character accepts. “Thank you for making my Spidey’s day,” you whisper as Spider-Man squishes you to his side. “It means a lot to us.”

The actor catches onto the nickname and comments, “He’s your hero, huh?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s my everything,” you confess under your breath and your face immediately heats up upon realizing what you said to a complete stranger.

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

The moment passes so quickly, that Mark doesn’t even grasp that two of his favorite people held their own side conversation. You give Spider-Man one last wave, retreat back to the attendant who hands you your phone, and stand off to the side to swipe through the pictures. Mark stops his little rant to watch you with a slight tilt of his mouth.

“She’s a good one,” Spider-Man brings Mark out of his thoughts, “We could use a recruit like her too.”

“She’s really special,” Mark lets out a fond laugh as you happily show your friends the pictures you’ve captured. “She’s my MJ, man.”

The character beside him laughs, not out of ridicule, but because of the similarities the two of you share. “Does she know that?”

“Nah,” Mark’s hair ruffles with the breeze as he shakes his head. “Not yet.”

“Better let her know soon then,” he pats Mark on the back, gently pushing him in your direction. “And don’t let her go once you have her,” his hero adds as an afterthought.

Mark turns back to give Spider-Man one last smile, “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Mark Lee doesn’t have you in the way that he wants to, at least not yet, but once he does, there is no way he is letting you out of his sight. He may be the one who carries the heroic nickname but you are the one who has caught him in your web of love. Wherever you go, you have his whole heart.

You are his whole heart.

How can Mark Lee ever live without his whole heart?

✨ CARSLAND / SH-BOOM

“Hurry up, hurry up!” you call to your exhausted friends, who drag their feet behind you.

“But we’re tired,” Karina whines as her steps grow heavier. She’s stolen her boyfriend’s hat to beat the heat but has little luck doing so. Jeno, noting this, turns his portable fan to face her. She wearily smiles at him, squeezing the hand conjoined with hers to thank him.

Donghyuck echoes Karina’s sentiments but you ignore their complaints altogether.

There’s no time to slow down, you think, as you make note of the time. The sun is about to set and your group still hasn’t reached the spot you want–no, need–to be in. You understand their exhaustion because you feel the same way but deep down, you know the hustling will be worth their while.

“You guys, just do what she says,” Mark comes to your defense, giving you a reassuring glance, “I mean, she hasn’t let us down this whole day. I’m sure whatever she’s rushing us for will be worth it.”

You weave and bob through the crowds with ease and your friends fall in line behind you. You pass through the entrance of Avengers Campus and lead them straight into Carsland. A mass of people are gathered at the entrance of the land and you cringe at how packed it is. But upon hearing Donghyuck gasp with excitement, you grin and bear it. In the past, your friend mentioned that Cars was one of his favorite childhood movies. Since you’ve found that out, you’ve gifted him a Lightning McQueen present every year for his birthday.

“Holy shit, bro, I’m in Radiator Springs,” Donghyuck clutches your arm, “This is the best thing ever.”

“Oh, believe me, Hyuckie, it gets even better,” you say, pulling your friend along with you. You giggle at his reactions to every little detail you point out–how everything is built to scale, that all visitors are meant to be cars, how every third blink of the traffic light is slower just like the movie–and his brown eyes widen in childlike wonder.

Once again, Mark stands back as you take care of Donghyuck. He appreciates all the thought you put into this trip–making sure you know everyone’s specific interests and adjusting the day’s itinerary to meet everyone’s wishes. Jeno wanted to get on every thrill ride possible, so you purchased the Lightning Lane express passes to guarantee he had a good time. Karina wanted to feel like a princess, so you took her to the Boutique to get pixie dusted and scheduled time in the Fantasyland area to take as many pictures as she wanted. You spent a bit of time in Avengers Campus so Mark could get the entire Spider-Man experience. And now, you’re expertly guiding Donghyuck through Radiator Springs, equally excited as your friend who’s experiencing everything for the first time.

When everyone else voiced how worn out they were throughout the long summer day, you kept the spirits up and took care of each and every one of them. You may have not outwardly mentioned how spent you were but Mark caught onto the signs. While you were busy tending to each person's wants and needs, Mark found himself taking care of you. You’ve done so much for the group, he wonders what exactly he could do in return.

“Alright, stop right here,” you stop in the middle of the land, granting the group the perfect view of the land, “and face this way.”

“Why are we stopping? Isn’t the ride right there?” Donghyuck points to the end of the area. “I thought we were heading there.”

“Yeah,” you reply, “there’s something we gotta do first.”

“What’s everyone standing around for?” Jeno asks, hugging Karina from behind.

The others take a look around to see that a large crowd has formed in this area of the park, all facing the same way. Everyone is eagerly waiting for the same thing you are, their phones propped up in the air. You take another peek at your weather app and it deems it around one minute before sunset. Perfect.

“Well, my good sir, you are about to find out,” you answer cryptically.

You squeeze Donghyuck’s hand. “You ready, Hyuck?”

“For wha–” His sentence is cut off by the area loop music increasing in volume. Everyone around you cheers as Sh-Boom by The Chords starts to blast through the speakers. “Oh my god.”

The rest of Donghyuck’s sentence is trapped between his teeth as the neon lights, starting from the furthest point of the area, begin to light up. It’s an exact replica of the movie, the lights flickering on with the beat of the old-time music. The bright lights resemble your friends’ expressions, the giddiness of experiencing this iconic moment apparent on their faces. Donghyuck is practically glowing with childlike wonder, bouncing on the balls of his feet. You snap a photo of him as he continues to take it in. Jeno sways Karina back and forth, his arms wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist and chin resting on her shoulder as she records the whole thing.

Smiling, you turn to look at Mark whose eyes are solely trained on you. His phone is in hand, aimed in your direction, and you assume he took a picture of the lit-up signs behind you. “Isn’t it so pretty?” you ask, hands gesturing to the entire area.

Mark’s gaze doesn’t falter, doesn’t leave you when he answers, “It’s the prettiest.”

A heat spreads to all parts of your face and body at his flirtatious response. You turn away from him, too embarrassed to meet his soft stare. “It’s one of my favorite times of the day. My family always came here at sunset just to watch it. It’s fun watching everyone’s reactions and seeing people dance to the music, like them”–you point to a dancing couple, the man spinning his partner and the woman laughing gleefully–“I dunno, it just makes me happy.”

“I can see why,” Mark chuckles.

Your gaze lingers on the duo and Mark spots a look of longing in your eyes. Your best friend sees a chance, one as clear as day, and with all the bravado he can muster, Mark takes it. He tugs you towards him and you gasp at the sudden movement.

“What?” you whisper.

Mark sticks out a hand for you to take and bashfully says, “Dance with me.”

“What?” you repeat in shock, eyes dropping from his face to his outstretched hand.

“You heard what I said,” your best friend chuckles, “Dance with me.”

Instead of waiting for a response from you, Mark takes your palm in his and gently places his other hand around your waist. Your breath catches in your throat, anxious eyes meeting his own, and the boy shoots you a reassuring smile. He takes the lead, guiding you through a few swing steps as you dance on the street. You’re a little unfocused through it all, your mind wandering from the warmth of his touch to his unfaltering look.

“Have you always known how to swing?” you ask as he leads you into a spin.

Mark dances with an ease you don’t expect from his clumsy self. You’re used to his harder, sharper style of dancing he exhibits when you all go out dancing–the lighter style catching you completely off-guard. It makes you fall for your best friend a little more than you already have.

He nods as he catches you in his arms before turning you around again. “Yeah, I learned from watching my parents dance. I only really danced with my mom, though. I guess I was just–” Mark coughs, shaking his head.

“Just what?” You egg him on, wanting to hear what your crush has to say.

“No, never mind, it’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing to me,” you quip.

“Nah, it’s stupid,” Mark tries to dismiss it, distracting you with another spin.

With him being the perfect leader, your sneaker-clad feet move in time with him, following wherever he goes. “Nothing you say is going to be stupid,” you add, squeezing his palm.

You know you’ve won the argument when Mark sighs. He’s so close to you now, you can feel his breath hit your face. There’s a hint of fresh spearmint, coming from the gum you offered him earlier. Any closer and your lips can press right into his, completing the romantic moment that you could only dream about.

Mark gulps nervously as you look up at him with confusion. The words come tumbling out before he can stop himself from making a fool, “I guess I was just waiting for the right partner.”

There’s more to Mark’s sweet reply than meets the eye. Once again, you burn up at the implications. You shouldn’t assume the meaning behind your crush’s words but something about the way he said it makes you believe that you are the partner he is waiting for. To be deemed worth waiting for is a girl’s deepest fantasy and your heart swells in your chest at the thought of it all.

Despite the rapid thoughts running through your head, the only thing you can spit out is a quiet, “Oh.”

Mark renders you speechless at the favorite part of the day and in your favorite place in the entire world; he pockets this as a big win. With his warm hand resting at your waist and the other clutching your calm, Mark leads you into a flurry of sequential moves. Never once does he bump into another person in the crowd, he navigates through the small space you’re granted so gracefully. Dancing with him brings you to such a natural high, you feel lighter than air.

The laughter that spills from your lips fills his heart with joy and as the song reaches its end, the arm at your waist tightens enough to usher you into a dip. As your torso lowers, his body follows your own. He keeps you in this position, his pretty brown eyes glued onto your shaking pupils. He’s so near, that your sight triangulates from his eyes down to his grinning lips. You notice the pink that tickles his skin, from his squishy cheeks to his pierced ears.

As Mark pulls you back up, you circle your arms around his neck and give him the biggest hug in existence. You whisper a light and heartfelt, “thank you,” in his ears and Mark responds by pulling you closer.

While the song that played through the speakers announced, “Life could be a dream,” Mark Lee deems that his life already is. To him, his life is a dream and that’s because you’re in it.

✨ FIREWORKS

The sun has set and your entire group is tired but the day’s not quite over yet. The five of you are amongst the throng of people seated on the asphalt, bodies splayed in all sorts of configurations. Karina and Jeno are in front of you, whispering happily as they go through all of their pictures together. Donghyuck has no problem taking a nap on the floor, using some plastic bags as his makeshift mattress and Karina’s new plushie as a pillow. Mark, on the other hand, is seated on your right and silently playing a game on his phone.

The extent of your tiredness didn’t hit until you sat on the floor, a groan leaving your mouth as you fought to find a comfortable position. The ground really isn’t the best place to sit but you have to camp out for the best view of the castle and the fireworks. You find yourself hugging your legs and resting your face on your knees to keep yourself warm. The weather is a lot cooler than it was earlier in the day and the slight breeze has you shivering.

“You okay?” Mark asks, still looking at his phone.

“What makes you think I’m not?”

“You keep moving around like you’re uncomfortable or something,” Mark pauses his game and notices the goosebumps on your skin, “Bubs, are you cold?”

“Yeah, just a little bit but I’ll deal with it.” You leave out the fact that you’re tempted to buy a sweater from a gift shop, just as you do every single time you get cold in the parks. It’s an expensive tradition you need to break. Plus, there’s no more room in your closet for more cozy crewneck sweaters.

Another quiver runs through your body as the winds blow through the area. Mark frowns as you tighten the grip around your legs. He immediately shrugs off the zip-up he wore, draping it around your curled-up shoulders. The warmth of the fabric combined with the smell of his cologne hits you all at once.

“Mark, I told you I’m okay,” you pout at him as he gets up from his spot. He stops you from taking it off, his palms firm on your back. “You’re gonna get cold.”

He disagrees, pulling the hood over your head. “Nah, I run hot anyway. I don’t want you to get sick or anything so just leave it on, okay?”

“But–”

“For me?” Mark pushes. He smiles when you pout even further, knowing there’s no way you can beat him in this conversation. “That’s my girl,” he adds, a hand coming to cup the back of your neck. A sudden urge comes over him and before he even places what he's doing, Mark plants a tiny kiss on the top of your head. You feel the slight pressure of his lips between the fabric and your head is reeling the second he pulls back.

“I’ll be right back,” Mark whispers before setting off into the crowd.

You’re frozen in place, the ability to respond nonexistent in your mind. You simply watch as he fades away and then, the shyest smile breaks through. There are no clouds left in the sky but you’re officially on Cloud 9, your heart beating rapidly in your chest, and your face buried into the sleeve ends of his jacket.

True to his word, your best friend returns fifteen minutes later with a plastic bag in one hand and a hot drink in the other. Mark pulls out the coziest Disney-themes blanket you have ever seen, folds it in half, and then places it onto the floor. He motions for you to sit on it and you smile even wider. “Better?” he asks as you settle crisscross on the soft fabric.

A relieved sigh slips past your lips as the soft material rubs against your skin. “So much better.”

Mark plops himself right beside you. His bare arm presses against yours in an attempt to fit on the blanket. There’s lots of space left but you don’t mind, snuggling right up to his side. He chuckles at your action, draping his arm around your hoodie-clad shoulders to pull you closer. “Got you a hot chocolate too, passed by the cafe across from the gift shop,” your crush gently places the drink in your hands.

“You really didn’t have to,” you mutter, hiding your smile behind the drink.

“Wanted to.”

“Thanks,” you reply in between your tiny sips.

“Anything for you, Bubs.”

With his arm around you and your body cozied up to his side, the time passes quickly. You’re in your own world, your quiet conversations drowned out by the chatter of the large crowd surrounding the castle area. The cocoa is passed back and forth between his hand and yours, an indirect kiss shared each either of you takes a sip. You laugh over things that happened throughout the day, from Mark’s burnt tongue to all the hideous ride pictures your friends took while wholeheartedly enjoying themselves.

When Mark takes a big sip, you crack an unexpected joke that leaves him choking on the drink. Your roaring laughter attracts the attention of the others around you but you are so into Mark, you don’t even notice. He’s a sputtering mess, with the hot drink all over his cheeks and hands. You help him through it, one hand patting his back and the other reaching up to wipe away the liquid with his sleeve.

“You’re so silly,” you whisper fondly as your thumb rubs against his soft cheek.

“No, you just caught me off guard,” Mark replies, nuzzling into your hand. The moment feels a little too intimate, especially when his fingers reach up to connect with yours, but you don’t want it to end. It finally feels like something good is happening. It feels like the dream you’ve kept deep in your heart is coming true and you don’t want to fight it.

You pay no attention to the way your friends are staring knowingly at you like this was all meant to happen. Your eyes are solely trained on Mark and how he holds you so delicately as if you were a bubble about to burst. Mark keeps you tucked into him until the five-minute before the fireworks announcement blasts through the speakers.

Mark is the first to get up off the blanket and you hate how easily he does so. The feeling of pins and needles travel down your legs as you try to get up. You moan in pain, struggling to get up. When you finally rise from the ground, your knees buckle and you lose your balance. A little noise slips out as you stumble, your clumsiness almost leading you straight into another person. Strong hands from behind immediately fly to your hips to keep you steady and you fall right back into Mark’s sturdy chest.

His hands remain at your hips as you turn to look at him. You mumble an apology and he clutches your waist a little harder. “Who’s the silly one now, huh?”

“Shut up.”

Even as the moment ends, Mark’s hands stay in place. The only movement he makes is a minuscule tug that molds you into his chest. He hears no complaints from you, just a pleased little sigh, that signals you’re one hundred percent okay with what is happening.

The surrounding lights dim, projections on the castle come alive, and music that could only be described as magical begins to play. It’s the scene of your dreams–you are in the hold of someone you love as fireworks light up the sky. The show’s just begun and here you are, wishing you can stay in this moment forever.

Seeing as how he’s made it this far, Mark puts on his bravest face and circles his arms around your waist. You hum in approval, resting your hands right above his. He replies by tangling his digits with yours and you smile so widely, it’s brighter than the pyrotechnics shooting off above you.

The soundtrack isn’t new to you; it’s the show the park features every summertime, so you find yourself humming along to every section and transition that passes. By the time the love-themed section bleeds through the sound system and the castle glows with pinks and reds, you tell your best friend, “This is my favorite part.”

He says nothing in response, too busy admiring you instead of the show. Mark rests his chin on your shoulder, his gaze directed at the side of your face. He takes in the sight of the glow the lights cast on you, your lips curled up as you mouth each and every lyric.

It’s quite obvious that he’s staring at you. Even if you didn’t catch him from the corner of your eye, you feel Mark’s steady breath hit your neck and cheek. Your entire body radiates heat upon this realization. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip to calm the hopeless romantic inside you.

You want to look at him, you really do, but you’re scared of what will follow after you meet Mark’s eyes. But when he whispers about your favorite song playing, your heart swells at his great memory, and you turn.

The tip of Mark’s nose grazes yours after your sudden movement. You’re right there, less than a breath away from him, and his eyes are filled with immense tenderness. In your years of knowing Mark Lee, you’ve never seen him look at another person the way he’s looking at you at this moment. It’s a look filled with endearment and affection, leaving your heart swelling in your chest.

You barely hear the boom of the fireworks shooting off, not when Mark’s eyes flitter down to your parted lips. He’s captivated your heart and soul, you can’t help but nudge your nose against his as you inch closer. It’s a silent signal, one he understands without further explanation. Your best friend shuts his eyes, calls upon the glittery pixie dust that sits in his hair and makes his final wish of the night. He wishes for the strength to make his next move.

Mark’s soft lips touch yours most delicately; the press is merely there, and it throws you for a loop. The kiss makes you so incredibly giddy, that you turn your head even more and your hand anchors itself to his cheek. It keeps you steady as he dives in for seconds, this one more eager than the first. With your favorite love song in the background and the fireworks booming in the distance, you are happier than ever.

You are so happy that your wide grin and little giggles cause Mark to break away for a short moment. He plants another peck amid your laughter and soon he’s chuckling too. The arms around your waist lock you in place as he burrows into the crook of your neck, placing the tiniest kiss where your pulse hammers against your skin.

Mark’s feet are on the ground but he feels like he’s flying. His heart has grown wings, allowing him to soar to new heights. He feels like he can touch every little star in the sky. Kissing you in this land of make-believe, underneath the fireworks, feels like a miracle and he fears that he will never come down again.

He’s pretty sure the gleam in your eyes mirrors his own. It’s so pretty and bright and magical–it encompasses all the emotions stirring in his chest. They start from his heart, bubble up through his neck, and the words he’s been meaning to say spill out as a crescendo booms throughout the area. “You’re my wish come true.”

Turning in his hold, you circle your arms around his neck. You draw him closer, your lips ghosting against his to say, “And you are mine,” before closing the sentence with another kiss.

You’ve always loved fairytale endings–how the prince always gets the princess at the end of the story. When he grins against your lips, you realize you’ve been in one the entire time. The story of you and Mark is more than a dream that filled your head. It’s more than something you wished upon a star for. Your story is the slowest burn that led to the greatest happy ending.

All it needed was a little faith, trust, and a whole lot of pixie dust.

TAGLIST. (tagging my gen taglist and friends that I think will be interested in it hehehe) @winwintea @johtenrecs @lavendersuh @itsapapisongo @nctsworld @hotdogct @smileysuh @suhnnyskiess @jaemdonuts @haetrack @bat-shark-repellant @bebsky

FINAL PARK ANNOUNCEMENT. Hey everyone! Long time no post. I think the last time I posted a fic was in either December or January? I'm happy to be back for a hot second. This fic was inspired by many things: Mark calling his fans "his MJ," my personal visits to Disneyland over the years, and especially the trips I've gone on with friends that I've met on this site. Hehehe. I really hope you all enjoy this rainbow of magic and fluff. Please let me know what you think of it. Your feedback keeps me going! Love always, Nikki <3

#nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct x reader #mark lee #mark imagines #mark scenarios #mark fanfic #mark fluff #mark lee x reader #mark x reader

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clowncollectr · 2 years ago

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Arknights - Won't you look at me? (Liang Xun / Lee) - Chapter 1

Rating: G (this chapter), E / M (whole story)

Word Count: 2021 (this chapter), 11117 (whole story)

Summary: The person he’s spent his entire life looking at has finally noticed him and returned his feelings. A lifelong dream come true. Lee should have already been satisfied with just this. There was no need to monopolize his attention. But he still wanted it.

Notes: This has an established relationship setting. Compared to my last work, it falls more on the comedy side I think. My initial goal was to try to right something that would get me a rating above G on AO3 LOL Don't worry though. The part that actually earns this an Explicit rating is Chapter 4 and you can just skip it since it's just smut at the end. The story itself is very tame! Finally, I made a few memes about this story if you wanna check those out and see which ones start to make sense as you read this :)

AO3 Link

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Extra

Chapter 1 Lee’s tail lightly patted the chair he was sitting in over and over. It was as if his tail was irritated for him. He quietly sipped his tea to keep himself calm. Not annoyed at all. He glanced over at the man across the room, who was currently discussing something that looked important with a coworker. The man pointed at something on a piece of paper he was holding, and his coworker leaned over to take a closer look. Just then, the young lady’s eyes brightened and she smiled, taking the paper back into her hands. She bowed politely to the man before walking away. Lee’s eyes narrowed a little.

Even now, you’re still the type of person everyone can depend on. It’s no surprise that you’re so popular.

Ever since he and Liang Xun had started dating, it was Liang Xun who took the initiative to travel to Lungmen and visit Lee often. He had argued with Liang Xun about it at first, upset at the realization that he was putting his political career in jeopardy just to visit him. This person was too important to be fooling around like this. Lee had waited decades for him. Even if it wasn’t what he preferred, he could wait several more months or even years to see him again.

“Don’t you dare throw your dream away just for this”, he had told Liang Xun, outraged.

But it was a mistake for him to underestimate this person. For each of Liang Xun’s visits to Lungmen, he always found a work-related reason for his travels. Remarkably, he has never wasted his time during any of his visits, and it even began to affect his reputation favorably. The ever diligent magistrate Liang Xun, who takes time to improve diplomatic and economic ties with other cities on top of his already extensive duties. The quality of his work did not decline at all with the added responsibilities. What an admirable leader.

I forgot how terrifying he can be when he puts his mind to something, Lee thought, shuddering a little. Maybe he, Huai, and Liang Xun had become friends simply because they were all different flavors of crazy.

Regardless, that was how it is. Against all odds, Liang Xun had found a way to consistently meet with him despite them living in entirely different cities with entirely different professions. The crazy bastard. But it left Lee feeling a bit guilty. Between the two of them, he was the one with more freedom to travel. He owned his own business after all. He can come and go as he pleases. So why is it that the high ranking government official was the one knocking on his door every few months? Eventually, everyone at the agency had gotten tired of having to open the door for him, so Lee just gave him his own key to the house. It’s because of this that Lee finally decided to take a vacation and visit Shangshu again. Waai Fu, Aak, and Hung are all grown up now. They can handle things while he’s away, and he’s saved up enough money that taking a laid-back trip like this wasn’t much of a problem. He thought he’d surprise Liang Xun and come visit for a week or two.

This was a mistake.

He should have given him a head’s up. Because when Lee arrived at Shangshu, he quickly learned that he had arrived at the worst time possible. Of course it would be when he decides to take a break from being a detective that he’s punished for not doing his research. Just his luck. Apparently, this season is an extremely busy time for Shangshu and its local government. It was around this time that the government revisited many policies related to tourism and commerce. It was a big enough event that a public conference was held where any citizen could attend to learn about what the government wanted to change. It also gave citizens the opportunity to hear from and ask any questions they might have to the government officials directly. Naturally this meant that Liang Xun, the city’s magistrate, would be in attendance as well. And unsurprisingly, he was immensely busy with preparations for the event at this time.

When Lee finally got ahold of him, all Liang Xun could do was apologize and offer him anything he could possibly want, including the nicest room at the magistrate’s residence with all of his expenses paid for during his trip. But Lee didn’t come to this city for a luxury trip. He came here to spend time with his lover. It wasn’t long before he found himself wandering around the bustling city, feeling bored and somewhat lonely. Eventually, he got sick of his aimless walks. His current situation made him feel like he was an old man in a retirement home. Finally, he thought:

Well, I came here to see Liang Xun. Why not see what he’s up to?

After all, the place where he was currently working was open to the public. So that’s how Lee found himself in his current situation. Watching Liang Xun from afar, somehow feeling more miserable than before. It really was his own personal hell, being forced to watch the man from a distance, knowing that he would only be interrupting if he approached him. It was like some cruel joke. Everyone is allowed to approach Mr. Liang except for his partner, the one who loves him the most. So irritating.

The worst part was that he’s now suddenly being forced to witness the extent of Liang Xun’s popularity. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that his coworkers were quite fond of him. Based on the expression on some people’s faces, it seemed like having to go to him for help was more like a reward than an inconvenience. And Lee, perceptive at reading people as he was, could easily identify which people looked at Liang Xun in more ways than a coworker should. It didn’t take him long to figure out which people had some affection for the man. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to him. This person has a successful career, a good personality, wealth, and of course, he was fairly attractive. They had decided to keep their relationship discreet since they were both well known in their respective cities. As far as the public knows, the alluring magistrate Liang Xun is still very single. Lee clenched his teeth and rubbed his palm across his face.

What a stupid thing to get upset over , Lee thought to himself, feeling more than a little foolish.

Anyway, it didn’t matter. In the end, Liang Xun had chosen him. The way these other people feel wouldn’t change that. Still, Lee didn’t like being left out. He had to admit, ever since Liang Xun started visiting him more often, he had subconsciously gotten used to monopolizing the other man’s attention. He was like a child who had become spoiled after finally getting what he wanted after a long time. But now he was more like a burdenbeast trudging along sadly with a carrot dangling in front of him. Look but don’t touch.

As he was thinking this, he watched another person approach Liang Xun. This time it was a casually dressed man with a lanyard and badge hanging from his neck. Compared to the other people here, he wasn’t dressed in any sort of uniform and his mannerisms were more relaxed. He carried a pen and paper with him and had begun taking notes the moment Liang Xun spoke back to him, nodding in acknowledgement. Probably a journalist.

Lee watched the two talk to each other with a lazy curiosity, half staring in a daze as he wondered what they were talking about. Suddenly, the journalist laughed and lightly slapped Liang Xun on the shoulder a couple times. The Kuranta looked a little surprised by the sudden physical contact but retained his professional and courteous demeanor. Lee on the other hand, was incredulous, not quite believing what he had just witnessed.

This person is several ranks above you! Why would you treat him like your best friend, especially while you’re conducting an interview like this?!

He seriously couldn’t believe it. Lee has conducted several interviews because of his line of work. He understood the importance of keeping the atmosphere casual and informal so as to not make the other person nervous. But really, this was just unprofessional. This would be like if he and Wei Yenwu were out in public, joking together with his hand on the other’s shoulder as he laughed. Lee scowled. What an absurd mental image. He got up from his chair. He’d seen enough. This whole situation was bad for his heart. And admittedly, he was also disappointed with himself for being so immature. This kind of thing wasn’t a problem for him in the past. Why is it such a touchy subject for him now?

Without even saying goodbye to Liang Xun, he excused himself.

In the end, he was right back to what he was doing before. Wandering around Shangshu’s city districts. After his last trip to this place, he’s had his fill of sightseeing the Seventeen Peaks this place is so famous for. Although the city’s attractions didn’t interest him too much either. He’s only been here for a couple days, but it already feels like he’s visited everything that might have been of interest to him. In the first place, he was not a very materialistic person so most of the shops were like backdrops to him. Just part of the scenery. He had to admit the food was good. He’d killed a bit of time going to some restaurants here and there and trying menu items that he typically wouldn’t find in Lungmen. But activities like eating a meal or drinking tea…well, these kinds of things were always more enjoyable when you had company. He thought about doing some investigative work. Maybe look for more leads on Huai’s whereabouts, but it felt like it would be defeating the point of a vacation. He’d been working pretty diligently for the past month or so, having promised himself that he would take a well-deserved break once he found the chance.

Without realizing it, Lee found himself staring into the display window of a shop he’s already passed several times before. He wasn’t particularly interested in anything, absentmindedly gazing at the items on display. Again, shopping wasn’t really his thing. His eyes fell upon a pair of golden spectacles on display not too different from the one he was currently wearing. The main difference being that this one had a more ornate design.

Hmph. What a waste of LMD. Why bother with fancy stuff like this when you can get something that’s both cheaper and more durable. This kind of thing, it’s only good for getting other people’s attention.

. . .

He had an idea. A very embarrassing one, sure. But he was bored and on vacation. Wasn’t this a time when he was supposed to be doing whatever he wanted?

Lee looked back at his own reflection through the glass display. He thinks the way he dresses is just fine, even if his kids like to tell him that he dresses like an old man. His attire was comfortable, easy to move around in, and not so eye-catching that it got him into trouble. It was the perfect outfit for a detective to wear. But right now, he wasn’t playing the part of a detective. He was a lovestruck fool that thought it would be a good idea to surprise his lover with a sudden visit, and he hasn’t been very successful on that front. So maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. He was bored out of his mind anyway. It was impossible to ask for the other person’s attention at this time. But if he would look his way, even if only for a little bit, even if just to acknowledge him, then…then…

Lee decided that he had nothing to lose and entered the store.

#miko the clowncollectr's fic tag #LiangLee / 梁鯉 #lee arknights #liang xun arknights

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summer-fun-swim · 23 days ago

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The scorching sun hung high in the azure sky, casting its warm rays over the small coastal town of Windridge. The air was thick with the sweet scent of salt and sunblock, swirling with the sounds of seagulls calling above and the laughter of children playing by the beach. Among these children were three inseparable friends: Ethan, Max, and Jesse. It was the long-awaited summer vacation, and nothing could dampen their spirits.

On this particularly hot afternoon, the trio made their way to their favorite spot—a secluded cove at the edge of the beach, flanked by rocky cliffs and thick patches of lush dune grass. The water glistened in the sunlight, inviting them in like a pair of outstretched arms.

"Race you to the water!" Ethan shouted, his dark hair tousled from the wind. Without waiting for a response, he took off, plunging into the cool waves without hesitation. Max and Jesse were close behind, their laughter ringing out as they sprinted across the sand, leaving footprints in their wake.

They could feel the heat of the sun on their backs, the coarse granules of sand sticking to their skin as they reached the water. Each boy dove into the waves one after the other, feeling the refreshing embrace of the ocean wrap around them. Ethan resurfaced, his soaked gray t-shirt clinging to his torso, while Max laughed hysterically, his dark blue polo shirt now a couple of shades darker and slick against his skin. Jesse, in his evergreen henley t-shirt, struggled to keep his shirt from flapping wildly as the tide ebbed and flowed.

"Dude, look at you!" Ethan chuckled, waving a hand toward Jesse. "You look like you just stepped out of a swimming pool!"

Jesse grinned despite his reluctance, feeling the weight of the soaked fabric tugging at him. "At least I'm the best-dressed one here!"

They all laughed, splashing each other with waves that sparkled under the sun. Soon, they were engaged in a playful water fight, the laughter echoing around the cove as cool water sprayed everywhere.

After a while, they took a break, lounging on the warm sand to dry off a bit. Ethan, who had always been the most spirited, stood up, “Let’s go for a swim again, but this time, let’s do it fully clothed!”

“What? You’re crazy!” Max exclaimed, but the gleam in his eyes showed that he was intrigued. The idea of a fully clothed swim was thrilling, a little rebellious.

“Come on, it’s summer! Let’s do something wild!” Ethan encouraged, bouncing on the balls of his feet, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

After a moment's hesitation, Max and Jesse exchanged glances, then nodded in agreement. They kicked off their sandals, reveling in the feeling of the soft sand under their feet. They put thier jeans and tracking pants over the wet swimming trunks.

Ethan led the way, plunging into the cool waves, the weight of his drenched t-shirt surprising him with a tug as the water rushed over him.

Max followed suit, the pool of water with his wet blue polo shirt clinging to his skin felt liberating. His tracking pants turned heavier, dragging slightly through the churn of the waves as he staggered forward, pulling Ethan in for another bout of playful splashing.

Jesse was last, but he didn’t hold back. He jumped in with a loud whoop, his henley t-shirt quickly saturating, the deep green fabric becoming sheer and hugging his lean frame. The ocean looked beautiful, glistening droplets cascading off their clothes as they danced through the waves. Each boy’s shirt clung tightly, molded by the water, revealing shapes and contours that the sun had previously concealed.

“Feels amazing, right?” Ethan shouted, his voice slightly muffled by the waves. The boys nodded, their hearts racing with freedom.

They swam, waded, and fell into the water for what felt like hours, the sun slowly sinking lower. Jesse was the first to notice the way the fabric moved with them, how their clothing had transformed the experience. With each wave, they could feel the clinging sensations—the weight of soaked garments that felt like a second skin, the sensation thrilling yet strangely comforting.

Just then, a swell rolled in unexpectedly, knocking Jesse off his feet. He barely managed to stay afloat, laughing as he sputtered and tried to regain his composure. Without missing a beat, Ethan was there, extending a hand, but not before they both tumbled back into the depths of the waves, laughter echoing above the surf.

After a particularly vigorous splash contest that brought them all close to exhaustion, they finally floated on their backs, gazing up at the expansive sky turning to hues of orange and pink as the sun began its descent on the horizon.

“This was one of the best days ever,” Max murmured, his voice relaxed, lacing through the gentle sound of the waves.

The distant horizon gleamed, reflecting the sun's retreat, while the surf gently lapped at their sides, the serenity settling comfortably on their soaked bodies.

Ethan sighed contently, “You know, there’s something about being in the water, fully clothed, that makes you feel more alive. Like you’re breaking all the rules.”

“Or we’re just breaking our parents’ rules,” Jesse pointed out, a mischievous grin sprouting on his face. “I can hear my mom now, ‘What do you mean you boys went swimming fully clothed?!’”

The three of them laughed, the sound bouncing off the cliffs as the tides began their dance around them once more. This spontaneous act of recklessness blended seamlessly into the chapters of their childhood—a perfect summer day marked in the logs of their memory.

As the sky darkened, they finally decided it was time to head back, still dripping and giggling as they retraced their sandy footprints, reflecting on the joy of the unexpected and the thrill of camaraderie. They knew, come morning, the sun would rise again, and with it, new adventures awaited them.

For that day, soaked to the skin and with hearts wide open, they had relished in the simple yet profound feeling of freedom, friendships forged in the waves, and the promise of more summers to come.

#wet clothes #wet t shirt #beach

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sonyadance · 1 year ago

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Travels and Dancing 19

Back to our scheduled program. No seriously, I need to write more of these: maybe every six months? I’ve been slacking. In my defense, life has been crazy. Is it ever not though?

The last Travels and dancing was a short list of what I could express after the year I had gone through. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Obviously, I didn’t realize it while I was in it. In fact, when I met him, I thought I’ve never felt so respected and safe and I felt like I could be myself. How could that go wrong? Well… we met in Mexico. He was on vacations, and I was there to stay for a while. We had a good time and I thought nothing more of it. Then he called me to know if I wanted to come to Toronto to see him and see if it could develop into something beautiful. I thought about it for a month and a half (which is really long for my normal speed), and then I said yes. I sent most of my stuff with a stranger back to my parent’s place because it felt too much of a commitment to get to his place with my house in my luggage. He told me I should have brought it all. He welcomed me with open arms. He asked me if I wanted to have kids. We went to Montreal to get all my stuff. We moved in, and then… and then, I don’t know. I’m still confused about the whole thing. I know why I stayed: I’m secretly petrified that I’m a bad person (and that I resemble my mom in certain unhealthy aspects), so when the small comments started, I thought: Of course! I’m not perfect. If I was, the relationship would work. I need to work on myself more. I started going to therapy with the premise that he was amazing and I was broken. And it continued until I was only a shred of the person I used to be. I thought dance left me. I thought nothing was possible anymore. And then I found out some… things (and I’ll assure you, what you’re thinking was there -talks of other women-, but that was the least bad of the whole thing). I panicked. It jerked me out of my trance, I called my father and he left at 5am from Montreal on a Sunday to drive all the way to Toronto to pick me up and my stuff and be gone before my partner would come back. That’s all I’ll say about this for now.

Then I got to Montreal and my body started acting up. I was sick, not feeling well emotionally and physically, but at the same time, I had a feeling of freedom and that I could do anything, dance was coming back, all I thought was, wasn’t true. I finished schoolwork for the year in a week and went on a high trying to reorganize my life, find an apartment and much more. My body didn’t like it. I started doing medical tests and then I left for contracts I already had booked, which are really important for me to honor.

BTO Open was the beginning of me seeing the contrast in my real world from what I had been living in for a year: people appreciated me, were nice and full of love, I wasn’t a piece of shit. Wow. I had an amazing time teaching my intensive about mental preparation for competition, dancing with everybody, chatting, competing in JnJ and Strictly (which I thought I wasn’t going to do because I felt at 10% and someone told me: even at 10% I’d like to see you dance). I had amazing dances and placements, which I normally don’t care so much about, but I needed it as I was in the first stages of putting the pieces of myself back together. And of course, spending time with Nelson as we could through the event to create a short, fun routine for the Saturday night show. I needed that. The fun, the camaraderie, the expression, firing up some creativity. Thank you to everybody that was around for the weekend.

Then I drove all the way to Toronto with some good friends so I could catch an early morning flight to Victoria where I was teaching for a week. I got there and felt really tired. Oh well, it’s pretty normal before an event. I thought two full days of privates and I crashed. I was supposed to go skiing and I had to cancel last minute. I tried to handle myself, but it was really bad and I ended up in the hospital (which, if you know me, I don’t go to). I was petrified that I caught something and was going to make everybody sick, but nobody got sick. It was really my body. I managed to teach all my Saturday workshops, they asked me if I wanted to cancel, but I had to do it, for my mental health. I postponed my departure, finished teaching some privates, got a bit better and I left on a cross-country trip to bring my car and my things back to Québec. Oh yeah, I think I skipped that story. In the fall, I was visiting my best friend who had moved to BC, my partner was supposed to join me there. He postponed because of some work things, then called to say he wanted to break up, had packed all my stuff and where did I want him to send it. So I was stranded in BC with only my carry-on, I freaked out, he changed his mind and came back, said he loved me, I decided to keep trying, but I didn’t want to go back to Toronto because I needed to have some self-respect through it all (should have had more). I had a little bit of money aside that I had been piling up for years in the hopes to have a cash down for a house and as things were going, I realized that I was never going to achieve that with the meagre amount I had, so I decided to buy a used car, built something to sleep in it and go explore Victoria and the community there. I’m skipping a lot of details, but that’s basically why I was retrieving my car to now go settle back in Québec.

I took the ferry to the mainland, discovered how much I love to drive just for the sake of having time in my head: nobody to talk too, no internet, no distractions. I went all the way to Castlegar where my friend lives and visited for a few days to spend time with her and the kids. They are amazing, a beautiful family and it was really interesting to see how their personalities had change even from the fall to the spring. My friend and her husband have been there for me since the fall and the mess in my relationship and I hope they know how much it was appreciated and essential to have a safe haven were I could catch my breath for a while.

Driving through Banff, I got to Calgary Dance Stampede. I haven’t done many country events before, but I will say: I loved it! I found everybody nice and relatable, and I absolutely loved doing the Invitational JnJ which I learned was five dances to be determined on the spot… with a twist. So 2m before going on stage, I asked Marc Davidson if he could give me a run down of the rhythms and specificity. It went a bit like this: cha-cha it’s the same, two-step obvisously slowslowquickquickslow…, waltz you know, wcs ok, polka chasse up chasse up – no up on turns, east coast ok… anyway, it went beautifully. I got to my first partner, whom I’d obviously never danced with, and they called a waltz. Perfect, I got this… without touching each other. I had a long sleeve jacket still on: I took it off, put it around my shoulders and had my partner hold the sleeves. We did a beautiful waltz across the floor which some people called cheating, I just called it smart. Then it was a chacha. Ok… with crazy rhythms change throughout. A dance, which I don’t even remember the name, that is not even part of the 8… everybody looked a bit silly on this one, so perfect for my skill level. Then came the line dance. A 64 counts line dance with two walls that we had to learn on the spot and then face the leaders to create this cool effect. Things were going fairly well, they had said we had to do the whole things twice, so after that, the lady called out: Do whatever you want! Which she said because half the people were messing up the steps, but I took as a call to… do whatever I wanted. I ended spinning on my butt and crawling on the floor with some hair flip and John Lindo walking over me. I think that’s what did it. We ended up with a polka/wcs. I got 5th place for the follows and I’m actually really proud of it even if nobody cared about the placements. 😊 After more teaching, judging, dancing, hanging out with the staff, I left early Monday morning to continue my road east.

I somehow miscalculated the number of days I had to get to my next gig in Toronto and thought I had to drive 12h/day. I did that the first day. No. Just no. Not fun. I crashed when I got to my hotel and thanked the lady who made me a salad even if the restaurant was closed because she saw how weary I was. The next day I drove 10 hours, which is more human, but still not super fun, only to realize I had one more day than I thought to get to my destination. I did 7 hours, which was smooth in comparison and then 5 hours the next day. 5 hours is ideal if you are on a road trip: you actually have time to enjoy, smell the roses and get to destination. I finally made it to Toronto where I was welcomed as my home, met with some of the best people in town, taught a workshop and privates, danced and left for the last leg of the trip.

I was so happy to make it to Montreal, to my parent’s place. At first, I was really adamant in finding an apartment for my return and make sure I had a home, but being able to stay with my family for a while really saved my ass in all the ways possible. I got settles into the room they had emptied and prepared for me, and again, I felt a surge of love I haven’t felt before. I think there were always a lot of people who loved me around, and I knew it, but I didn’t properly feel it. After that relationship, the contrast is so stark, that there is no other option than to feel it! I have to admit, the rest of the return to Québec wasn’t smooth at all: I received a bill from the Victoria hospital that I had to pay and supposedly get reimburse by Québec (they paid a 1/6 of it…), I learned that my car had to get inspected to change province and started an epic run around to get all things done to stop paying the 256$/month insurance associated with the BC car insurance system, it ended up costing me 3000$ for unuseful things, more organizational and financial stuff came up, and my body crashed completely. I think it knew I was done with my main contracts and I had a break. I ended up on a list for surgery, needing to cancel a month of work, only to get a call three days before telling me they had to postpone to next month. I still haven’t done the surgery. I think I’ll ride it out as long as possible: I don’t see an option were I can cancel another month of work in the near future.

Change of topic to brighter things. I had an amazing weekend with Flore that we organized at a big chalet in Québec, only for women. It was a soft, touching, slow paced weekend, where beautiful connections were made. I then flew to Arizona to coach one of my student, I had been coaching online for months, but had never met in person! It was a beautiful weekend, with a workshop, lots of privates, walks in the park, ended up in the first pride parade of Tempe, a nice game night and a visit to the desert botanical garden. I started coaching again in Montreal, choreographing for people, and then I got to Liberty. Honestly, preparing for the opening ceremony with all my peers, I hadn’t seen in ages, was probably the highlight of my weekend! I had a blast being there, seeing everybody, dancing, judging, teaching privates, walking around the area and competing. Strictly was on Friday and although we didn’t make it to finals, I was really happy with how we presented ourselves. By Sunday, when JnJ was, I was completely exhausted… I hadn’t recuperated yet from all the health stuff and I got carried away with wanting to social dance and be out and about all weekend. So yeah, JnJ was pretty horrendous from my part. Life happens. 😉

I went to TOSHC in Toronto for the first time. It feels so good to be at a hometown event. I also love the crossover events where you get to meet new people and mingle and exchange with pros from another genre. The hustle room was awesome, the west coast swing vibes were impeccable, and the Invitational was… insane! I’m not sure how many dances total ended up in there: it was initially supposed to be hustle and wcs, but there was salsa, chacha, twostep, balboa, lindy, rumba, and more! And let’s not forget the all-skate where things went sideways in the best way possible and where Stephen and I did an impromptu lift, I wish we had on camera!

Rock the barn came with its midnight sun, beautiful people and fresh air. As always, it’s my favorite event of the year. It’s the mix of dancing outside (well, in open air barns), eating delicious meals at the cafeteria with everybody, teaching tons of lessons, having heated technical discussions with the staff in our little house, dancing with everybody, feeling relaxed even if I work the most of all year, the pre-event barbecue, the tent crawl… this event has personality. I got to share it with one of my favorite person this year: Nelson Clarke. And last, but definitely not least, I dared to teach a concept I had been wanting to teach in wcs since I started osteopathy but didn’t know if people were actually going to be receptive. And omg they were! I had a whole class of advanced and AS touching each other’s forearm for about 45m and everybody loved it. Some even said it was the best AS class they had done. The concept I talked about is so important in how you approach your partner and to make sure you get the best response out of your partner: them feeling relaxed, free in their body and trusting. I taught it twice now (the second time not to a wcs crowd) and it needs to be an intensive. I think 4h would be ideal to start and get a good feel for it… anyway, more on that in another blog. Feel free to contact me if you want more info and for me to come teach it in your city. 😉

I came back to Montreal, went and stayed with my grandmother since she just got surgery, and it was really a blast: I hadn’t spent time face to face with her since Covid… wow. I taught a workshop, privates, packed my bags and left for a magical road trip. A student from Toronto met me in Montreal and we drove to Halifax stopping by an auberge by the water I had been wanting to visit for years. It was the perfect set up and felt really peaceful. We then stopped in Moncton, and I found this beautiful cycling trail by the water, so I woke up early before the end of the drive to get a move on. I am so thankful for my student who found this bicycle rack for me and allowed me to spend time on the best cycling trails on the east coast. I had the most magical welcome in Halifax, in a beautiful home, by beautiful humans, who even went online to find vegan recipes and food they could cook for me. It was so good, and I was so full by the end of the weekend! We had a beautiful Friday dance by the waterfront, and I put my eyes on an island I wanted to go visit. Saturday were the workshops and teacher’s training, then dinner with the collective. Sunday morning, a group of people came with me to George’s island and we had beautiful weather for the dancing barbecue in the afternoon. I even found time to go to two pole class during the weekend in between all the activities, the workshops and the privates.

I decided to go to Prince-Edward-Island since I had already crossed most of the provinces by car this year. The only one I’m missing is Newfoundland. I tried to make it work, but it was too much of a detour. One ferry over, a detour to visit Charlottetown and I got to Stanhope for cold beach time, some car camping, improvised folk songs at the campground, a peaceful bike ride by the ocean, and… my first fire! Almost… I had to go ask a park ranger to help me. I felt a bit ashamed to ask, but they told me people asked all the time. Turns out, everything was really wet and even the ranger’s skills weren’t enough to make the fire go. We fortunately got rescued by a neighbor, his axe and hand sanitizer. That’s the cheat code! In the morning, after getting poured on all night, I felt like I had to leave in a hurry. I drove and crossed the confederation bridge, and they closed it soon after because of wind gusts and heavy rain. Oufff… saved by intuition. I drove through New Brunswick, visited the giant lobster and started looking for a coffee shop as I was exhausted of driving in torrential rains. I found a Manor coffee house and made a detour to get there. There was no sign about it being anything else than a house, but I was so desperate for my drug of choice (besides chocolate, wine and cheese), that I decided to ring the doorbell anyway. A lady in a nurse uniform answered, I said I was looking for a cup of coffee, and she sat me at a table. She brought me a coffee and told me that this wasn’t really a coffeeshop (no kidding), but an integration house for people with mental disabilities. One of the participants came to my table with another coffee he had made just for me, while another one made me toast. They were so happy and awesome. I sat and chatted with some of them for a while, while ingesting way too much caffeine for my own I good. After being asked out by one of the man, and giving a donation to the center, I left for the rest of the road. I got to Carleton-Sur-Mer for more car camping by the sea. My original campground was flooded so I had to be moved and I cooked dinner under the rain. There was just enough time in the morning for me to get another amazing bike ride by the sea, a quick swim in cold water, a warm coffee and leave for another wet dry. This time there was fog also. So I saw nothing but fog the entire time on winding mountain roads. It was still beautiful and unique, although not the desired view. I just found the concentration it took a bit exhausting.

My friend Jade, whom I studied dance in Cegep with, met me at Parc Forillon. We both car camped, which was fortunate cause… rain! Omg. That was the theme of the trip. Some people’s tent were not as waterproof as they thought, our neighbors got stuck in the mud on their site, all the trails were closed because of the water, we tried and sort of managed to start a fire literally in mud. Everything was so wet, that the logs were leaking and created little pools of water. We deiced to drive close to Percé to see a waterfall spot where the water is transparent and supposedly beautiful… it was closed. You guessed it: the water went up and ripped the installations, so they had to close the site. We still had a nice boat ride around Rocher Percé and I managed to get soaked by standing at the bow. The main reason for this entire trip, was to see the Show of the Rising Sun, which happens every year in that park as part of the End of The World Music Festival (not because the world is going to end, but because it’s the end of the land, the most eastern tip). You have to get to the site before 4am, the artist starts singing, set up at the edge of a cliff, and as the show goes on, the sun rises and gives up another show. You bring your camp chair and they serve you coffee and a little sweet. This year, we were camped right besides, so we woke up and walked 10m to the show. Klo Pelgag was the artist, which I hadn’t heard before, it was amazing. My friend left and I stayed one more day to enjoy an hour on a nearby beach and a beautiful, and hard, bike ride in the hilly coast… before it started pouring again.

I left the next day in pouring rain and more fog to meet my friend in a nice little auberge on the coast, have a drink and see an outdoor circus show. You enter the woods on a wooden bridge while the artists are set up in different spots around. Then you get to three sides of three stories high stacked containers with bug screens where you will sit and watch the show. They are set up on a cliff. The use of the lighting (the show is at night, in the dark), the tramp wall they built, aerial dancing, catapult on a net that comes down from the cliff… the whole thing is brilliant in the use of the space. Well worth the ticket. The next day I visited a bird watching site before heading to Quebec City. I taught a workshop and privates, went dancing and got hosted by really nice people. It was only two days, but filled with dance, love and really resourcing relationally.

I found a campground at Petite-Rivière-St-François, which is situated at the bottom of one of the biggest skill hills, by the water. The camping is a coop that is super well organized with a little coffeeshop, one shower for all, a youth hostel, a community room, and a community fire. I heard a lady talk about a free show on the village’s quay. A beautiful woman created the character of a bird-woman with huge wings. She sings opera with the water in the background and brings you in her world. It was truly magical. A new friend from Québec ended up meeting me there. We had a beautiful bike ride by the water and an intense hike on the mountain. I was burning up with my long sleeves and pants, that were needed to counteract the mosquitoes, when we happened by a waterfall. We found a calm spot in the water, stripped down, and got some much-needed refreshment in the one ray of sun that came out that day. I thought to myself afterwards that I’d love to have a picture in that set up, but when would the opportunity ever come? We came back down and back up to see a point of view before it started raining. Obviously. I finally managed to score tickets to a show on the mountain I had been wanting to see and had been full for weeks. We drove 5m to the bottom of the mountain and waited for dark. They got us up on the ski lift, which they slowed down, and as we progressed to the top, we saw an inspiring light and music show they set up on the ground beneath us. We then walked in the mountain with a lantern that was provided, got to the next chair lift where we went down in darkness with a magnificent view of the St-Laurent’s River and the lights of far away villages on the other side.

Finally, if you are still reading, we are almost done! I drove further east on the north coast this time around (I drove over 4000km in two weeks), to get to Up The Moon Festival. What a treat. You get to the land, drive in for a while and park your car, then have to walk a while to get to the site where there is a movement space, a workshop space and a show space. People are camping everywhere, there is a coffee and cacao tent, a sacred tipi, some food, only cash accepted, no cell phone connection or internet at all, only a couple Sanivac, no running water, and beautiful people. My favorite spot was the sacred tipi: it had a fire and a guardian running 24/7, with sacred chants and a beautiful energy. The opening ceremony was powerful and made me feel like maybe I’d want to stay in Quebec for the first time in my life. We got more downpour the first night and after having my feet wet for the last three weeks, I decided I had enough and went to my car early for some reading and slept beautifully. The next morning, I walked to the river decided to get a natural bath and go in naked. I happened by a professional photographer I had met before at the river mouth. Funny how life works. So after my river bath, I asked him for some pictures: it’s amazing to be able to have a visual reminder of a favorite feeling! I went to a few workshops and then I taught my Conscious Partner Approach workshop which is the same concept I had taught in Sweden, adapted to a different crowd. Everything felt so right the entire weekend. I didn’t stay up late that night again and left early on Sunday after another river bath. I stopped by Quebec City to see my sister and her three daughters. We had a bunch of fun in the pool and I got asked if I was still young enough to have babies… I said I still had a few years. More questions came about why I didn’t have any and if I was going to have some… I replied that I needed to find a nice man who’d want babies also, to which I got told by a 9 years old that it wasn’t true, that now I could do a baby by myself. Well f*&*. Now I’m rethinking my entire life…

I’m back in Montreal now, with my energy levels going up, tons of projects in the making, and I want to make sure I still pace myself, so I don’t burn out again. This was an extra long Travels and dancing, maybe to make up for the fact that the last one was so short. Thank you for reading until The End. (of this one, not my life) 😉

#travelsanddancing dance westcoastswing festivals love

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jaydenheartstaylor · 2 years ago

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Music & Mental Health

I know Taylor has helped us all through a lot but I’m gonna talk about 2020. The first half was because of the pandemic, but the second half was seasonal depression. So, not a good year for me mentally.

March 2020

We all know what happened. Everyone was home, drove me crazy, but I finally listened to reputation (since the vibes weren’t something I was into in 2017) and I fell in love. I realized it was such a good album. I guess timing is everything because I really needed it in those moments. Everything was dark, I started writing darker lyrics, I wore darker colors, I would tell myself everyday not to talk, and I was in college, taking classes that were new to me: audio production and design. I ended up with highest honors on the dean’s list after that semester. A crazy accomplishment.

November 2020

I was living on campus at college, and I had a boyfriend (who I plan on marrying next year?), and I couldn’t have asked for a better school year. Until November hit. Little did I know that I would get seasonal depression. I didn’t understand why cause I was so happy there. I had freedom, friends, a boyfriend, and everything Id wanted in a college year. Maybe it’s because I had a lot of super high highs and when that slightly dwindled, I was met with super low lows. I even wrote a song called November Fire about how bad it was. It lasted into like January I think? It was hard. At this point, we had folklore and evermore. I remember specifically there was a day I was supposed to go hang out with my boyfriend and I couldn’t get out of bed. That had never happened to me before (and it’s only happened one other time since).

Skip To Today: March 2023

Here I am. Without a job again. I graduated May 2021, but I feel so behind and like a failure. But my constants in life are: my boyfriend, writing songs, the Taylor fandom on Instagram, and Taylor. I’ve put out a collection and an album on Spotify. I just went on vacation last month. And now I’m awaiting tour to start tomorrow.

Timing can be everything, and I know that not a single person will read this, but writing is my way of processing things, and here I am.

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylorswift #taylornation #swiftie #swifties #tstheerastour #taylorswiftedit #taylor lurking #minneapoliststheerastour #music #mental health #writing #journal #diaryposting #tumblr diary #tumblr blog #tumblrlife

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xocontinentaldrift · 2 years ago

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I miss myself.

I have this strange thought sometimes, when I'm waiting for my son to come out of school to the car at the end of his day. Or maybe at the end of my own day, which is much longer than his. Or when I'm chopping onions, or paying bills late at night. Or just staring into the mirror and dismayed at how tired and desultory I look, with my eyes drooping from fatigue and my gray hairs popping out from the waterfall of black that was the mane of my younger adulthood.

I try very hard to “be present,” and to enjoy the gifts of my life. Appreciate how engaging and sweet and curious and smart my little boy is. Appreciate how hard my partner is trying. Our cozy, cheerful home, the meals we have together, our trips and memories and shared laughter. It's all good, but I still miss myself.

I miss waking up and reading for an hour in bed, just lost in the beautiful world painted by another person’s words. I miss peace and quiet. I miss having the entirety of my focus and energy to myself, even for just a few hours. I miss not having to cut short a shower because I have to pick up someone, or make dinner, or return emails before the end of the day. I miss wandering in a new place by myself and spending time just watching people. I miss freedom.

I know this is just growing up, or adulting, or the inevitable decline into the endgame of mortality in a hyper-capitalistic age. But sometimes as I imagine myself through an outside lens -- me, sitting on the sofa with Verizon customer service trying to activate a locked iPad, or filling out some dumb form -- I think, “Is this really all it adds up to?” How did my precious hours get eaten up by so much LIFE ADMIN? I used to think that grown-ups stopped evolving and growing and learning because getting older was inherently limiting. But I think that isn't true, at all. My drive towards curiosity and adventure and freedom and creativity are still there, still burning inside me. It's just that the time and energy I have to pursue and cultivate them are just eaten away by inept Verizon customer support. Thus, self-alienation.

I read somewhere that age 47 is the unhappiest year of the average American life, the year of the mid-life crisis. I have to admit, it is a struggle to sustain happiness here. I look around and so many of my peers in my age group are burned out. Feeling stuck. Feeling overwhelmed with obligations to tend to aging parents and young children at the same time. Tired. There are so many divorces now, so many separations, so many job shuffles. These all come with great cost.

"I miss myself" is really about missing youth and freedom, though to be real...I don't want to be in my 20s or early 30s. (I would love to be in the dark side of my 30s again, though!) I miss the possibilities of youth, the lightness of burden and freedom from high-stakes responsibility.

I'm not writing anything new, of course. Honestly, this is me just venting because my kiddo has been on Christmas vacation from school for over a week now. And for over a week, I haven't been alone AT ALL. It's slowly driving me crazy! Actually, I may just be crazy already. But the midlife malaise is real. I'm trying hard to maintain energy and positivity but my energy is sapped. My spirits are low at times, and I'm pulled in a million directions. I have no answers, just a desperate inchoate feeling that something has to give.

#dailylife

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ppersonna · 4 years ago

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right here - jjk | m

↳ summary- a cruise with your best fuck buddy takes an interesting turn.

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- jeon jungkook x reader

↳ word count- 1.6k

↳ genre- REQUEST, smut

↳ warnings- fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it UP), slight dirty talk, exhibitionism, teasing, creampie, whew lindy you sure have a niche kink that you must write about in every fic huh :/ this is all smut im sorry that there’s bare minimum plot lol

↳ a/n- here’s my first drabble request for jk! i’m excited to give cherry koo his time to shine. i’ll be working on all the requests ive been given and making nice little banners for them too. thanks to @ladyartemesia and @taetaewonderland and @chimoona and @sombreboy for reading over this and helping me not want to quit writing lol

This request was “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

Jungkook stares at you as if you’re his last meal, and he’s a prisoner on death row.

It’s shameless the way he ogles you. He doesn’t even wear sunglasses as he stares at your long legs unabashedly while lounging on the secluded deck of the cruise ship. You can see the way his eyes trail over your body, following the beads of sweat that trickle down from the beating of the hot sun.

“Jungkook,” you murmur quietly. “You’re staring.”

It shakes him out of the daze your body put him in—the spell he always falls under when he gets a look at you in the tiny bikini you wear when you want to avoid unsightly tan lines.

“Was I?” He asks as he licks his lips and takes a sip of his beer.

You smirk fondly and continue reading your book. Jungkook doesn't stop staring. His eyes rest on your chest, watching the way your breasts lift and fall with each breath. You can tell he’s getting worked up now by the way his thighs tense as he tries to control himself.

A delicious thought crosses your mind and it makes you smirk.

“Hey,” you speak as you turn on the lounge bed towards your stomach, exposing your backside to the hot sun. “Could you help me lotion up my back? I don’t want to burn.”

Jungkook stills for a moment, visibly swallowing. You idly wonder if teasing your best friend and fuck buddy like this is going too far. But, he did mention something about seeing a girl named Jessica next week when you get home from vacation and maybe it’s best if you remind him just what he’d miss out on. You couldn’t help the jealousy building inside of you at the idea of Jungkook with another woman.

“Alright,” he says after a moment of consideration.

He sets his cold beer on the deck and stands, adjusting his tight swim shorts as he does so. You can’t help but grin, knowing he needs his adjustments due to the precarious situation you’ve put him in.

He locates the white bottle of sunscreen lotion and squirts a hefty amount into his palms and rubs them together, before kneeling over your body. Each knee brackets your body and he hovers over your ass, swim bottoms exposing clefts of your lower cheeks. You can feel the way his knees tighten around you, hold you tighter.

The lotion is cold as he places his hands on you, rubbing small circles on your lower back and working his way upwards, ensuring the white cream is thoroughly blended into your smooth skin.

“Shit,” he murmurs as he caresses you. The skin of your body drives him crazy. You feel like silk and he wants to run his hands all over you. Both hands work eagerly now, no longer focused on the sunscreen and instead on the way your skin feels under his touch.

“You okay?” You ask coyly, turning your head towards the cherry-headed boy above you.

“Fucking tease.”

You stifle a laugh with your hand and wiggle your hips gently.

“You caught on quick.”

Jungkook grunts as his hands tug at your bikini bottoms, snapping the elastic against your skin.

“I could just pull these to the side,” he muses as his hand trails hot on your covered ass. “No one would even notice.”

You bite your lip as the fire within you roars to life. His hand slides down to the exposed skin your bottoms don’t cover, the cheeky globes tempting him to expose more.

“I could just fuck you right here.”

You chance a glance around you, noticing the upper deck of the ship you’re on is still deserted save for an old couple far on the other side.

Jungkook notices your glances and chuckles.

“You actually want that, don’t you?” He asks, tugging the fabric that covers your core to the side. “Little exhibitionist, aren’t you?”

He exposes your pussy to the open air of the ship and you can feel the slight breeze that accompanies the heat of the summer sun.

“Kook,” you whine as your stomach tightens. You can feel him push it even further, exposing the lips of your cunt to anyone who walks by.

He grabs your hips and lifts slightly, stuffing the towel underneath you in a ball to elevate your hips permanently.

“Gonna fuck you right here,” he states as he unties the string of his shorts and pulls them down just enough to allow his cock freedom.

You can’t help but stare at the way he grips his length, stroking gently as he lets his eyes wash in the sight of your silken folds.

He releases his length to tease a finger at the slit, then pushes inside you fully with the digit.

“Wet already? Are you that excited at the idea of me taking you right here? Letting me fuck you stupid on the deck?” He smirks as he speaks and spears in another finger, dragging a quiet moan from your lips.

He scissors you apart and watches as you gasp for air, hands gripping the warm plastic of your lounge chair. Jungkook’s fingers feel so hot, so thick inside you.

Once he deems you satisfactory, he pulls from within you and smears the slick from his hands on to his cock.

“Mm,” he sighs as he pumps himself, head tilting back in pleasure. “You ready, baby?”

You nod quickly, hips elevated and pussy dripping in anticipation. Birds chirp over heard and you can hear the dull sounds of people around on the ship, and the crashing sounds of the waves hitting against it as it plows through the ocean.

“Shit, this is so hot,” he groans as he rubs the head of his cock against the slick folds he just exited moments before. “Can’t believe you’re letting me fuck you like this.”

“Please,” you whimper. “I need you so bad.”

Jungkook looks proud at your desperation and hisses as he pushes himself inside the scorching heat of your cunt.

“Fuck,” he whispers as he bottoms out. Your brain short circuits, only capable of thinking about Jungkook and the way his length stretches you open and feels like fucking heaven. His cock is sun-warned and he smells like sweat and coconut sunscreen.

“You’re so hot,” he grunts as he begins to pull his length out. He marvels at the way his cock shines with your slick arousal, before he pushes back in and groans at the sound of the wetness squelching with his thrusts.

“Fuck me hard, please,” you beg. Your voice is broken, needy and you’re desperate for him to move faster.

“As you wish,” he sighs as he sets a pace. He whines as your back arches and he takes the opportunity to grab a bunch of your hair and tug your head back.

“Look at you taking my cock right here,” he murmurs. “Naughty girl getting fucked for anyone to see.”

You keen at the feeling of pain at his grip on your hair, and it makes your eyes wide as you gasp for air.

He keeps going, pistoning his hips and watches as your ass bounces with each thrust. He can’t wait to fuck you again and again in the privacy of your cabin, so he can watch your tits bounce in his face. But he loves the exhibitionism of taking you here, hot cunt exposed to anyone who happens to walk by.

He can feel himself coming close to the end, balls tightening in anticipation. It’s the thrill and rush of being caught that spurs him closer and closer, and the sounds of your delicious squeaks and whines for more.

“You want to cum for me, baby? You want to cum so hard the whole ship knows how well I fuck you?” He asked as he increases his speed and lets go of your hair, opting to grip your hips with both hands. “Let everyone know, baby.”

Your eyes squeeze tight as the knot in your stomach pulls so tight until it snaps, cunt pulsing wildly around his cock and gripping him tight. It makes him gasp as you moan—body milking him for his own release.

“Shit, look at you getting my cock so fucking creamy,” he bites his lip as his length gathers your juicy finish, painting his whole cock white.

The final spasms of your pussy sends him reeling and he groans as he feels the pulses of hot cum pump out of him and fills you up. Your breathy moans quicken as you feel him empty himself inside you. You can’t catch your breath, over-exerted from the high of your orgasm catching you off guard.

Jungkook stills as he lets himself come down from bliss, before he gently pulls out of your spent hole.

“Oh shit,” he groans as he watches his cum trail out with him. He catches it with his fingers and pushes it back into you, causing you to squeak at the sensitivity.

“Let’s go back to the room,” he demands as he moves your bottoms to cover your cunt once more. “Keep it all in there and I’ll eat it out of you.”

You jump up and nearly spill his beer as he adjusts himself back into his shorts. You’re grabbing your things and Jungkook snorts a laugh.

“Shut up,” you pout. “Let’s go.”

You grab his hand and drag him off the deck and towards the hallway of rooms that leads to yours.

Jungkook smiles and stares at you, soaking in your tanned skin and messy hair from his grasp.

He definitely knows he won’t be able to stop staring any time soon—and he doesn’t think he wants to either.

#bts smut #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #bts drabble #bts fic #jeon jungkook #ficswithluv #heartsforbtsnet #bangtanarmynet #ksmutclub #btswriterscollective #goldenclosetnet #maknae smut #bts maknae #bts maknae line fic

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billionairesitgirl · 4 years ago

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Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it... but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying.....

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes.

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making.

(b) what makes them mistakes

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of...

Make 3 categories

.....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...)

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.

Man plans and God unplans ...

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.) What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried.

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself.

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing.

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present.

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark. As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest. The men moved on from her.

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard -

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure?

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored). Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”... Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it? Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off?

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there?

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a leg up -

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box?

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful.

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive...

e.g : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of.

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more; that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them.

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs...

With regards to your question... About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year... (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is.

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach.

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

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sarahlynnirl · 4 years ago

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Losing my best friend - Sugar Daddy culture is not empowering

I finally feel strong enough to talk about this and hopefully get some love, support, and reassurance from other women who agree that this is fucked up. I’ve never been “terfy on main” before so here goes. (TW child abuse + SA but no graphic descriptions of SA)

My mother is a narcissist who financially and emotionally abused my father and myself, with some additional physical abuse of me, for as long as I can remember. My dad made plenty of money but my mom controlled it all and made sure it didn’t go towards anything for me beyond the bare minimum required not to look obviously guilty of child abuse and neglect. I met Kiara (not her real name) when I was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Her mom was a single Korean woman doing her best to support Kiara and her 2 sisters while also running a Korean restaurant. My first jobs were a summer camp counselor and fitting room attendant at Forever 21. I would spend the last scraps of my paycheck making sure Kiara was able to order a full meal when our friends went out to dinner, buying her little gifts, and generally trying to keep us both as happy and healthy as possible.

When Kiara graduated highschool her mom drove her into Koreatown New Jersey, got her a room in the apartment of an acquaintance, and basically left her to fend for herself. Kiara spoke barely any Korean. She began working at a Korean salon where she met Ariana (not her real name). She had a NY cosmetology license, not an NJ one, while Ariana was an illegal immigrant from Korea so they were both overworked, underpaid, forced to work overtime, paid under minimum wage, and deprived of their tips. They couldn’t report or complain about this since they were both working illegally.

Kiara had to pay rent for the one room she occupied despite her land lady yelling at her, walking into her room while she slept, banning her from having friends over, and reporting to her mom if she spoke to a guy on the phone or a guy dropped her off. I was working at a restaurant in my college town on top of my classes and doing my best to keep surprising her with little gifts, but neither of us had enough disposable income to afford to visit each other. This was really difficult for me as she was my favorite person in the world and I was used to spending every second with her when we both lived in upstate NY. Ariana got them both to start using SeekingArrangement for one time meet ups with Sugar Daddies where they were paid anywhere from $200-2000 for sex. “The first time I ever did it I walked out of the hotel and just screamed because I was so disgusted and I was thinking about his wrinkly skin touching mine and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and scrub it off but I had $1000 cash in my hand for a couple hours of work which was so crazy and kinda made it all worth it ya know?” - Ariana to me

I was immediately skeptical and a little grossed out but Kiara genuinely seemed happier. She was buying new clothes for herself, ordering food to the apartment when she was hungry, and taking trips into NYC to have fun with Ariana and her friends. By the beginning of the summer of 2019, Kiara had found the Sugar Daddy who she would establish a long term agreement with and who ultimately ended up completely supporting her. I’m not going to say his name here but if people want to know it just ask, I am willing to share. He moved her into a much nicer much bigger apartment with Ariana as her roommate. He paid for me to fly up and visit her, and all of our activities during this vacation. I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. I wish I shoved the money back in her hand before it was too late, I wish I worked harder and longer hours and got us an apartment in Florida and paid both of our rent. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t listen to my instincts and allowed her to brush off my concerns. It was the most freedom we had ever had, I ran around NYC by myself while she was at work, and my ex took the bus to NJ from upstate NY and joined us for a few days. I feel so selfish but I also didn’t know how bad things would get.

One night Kiara and I went to NYC for dinner with her SD and she took the bus back to the apartment because she had to work early the next morning. It made sense for me to stay in the city because I was supposed to visit my friend at NYU the next morning. In the Uber to his apartment alone with him he was drunk and high and I very clearly looked scared shitless. At this point she was 19 (but she had looked that way since age 17 and I doubt he would have minded if she was lying about her age), I was 21 and he was 44. He seemed offended by my discomfort and was basically like “jeez relax I’m not gonna touch you, I really care about Kiara I think she’s so amazing, just go to the guest room and sleep, make a left to walk to NYU when you wake up.” I peaced the fuck out of there early the next morning.

After that summer Kiara and Ariana quit their jobs at the Korean salon and sugaring became their sole incomes. Ariana was still doing one time meet ups, not nearly as financially stable as Kiara, and got herself into a lot of credit card debt that to my knowledge she’s still in. At this point Kiara was flying down and staying with me in Florida so often that people at my college thought she went there too. I also wasn’t working at this point because college had gotten harder and my ex was fucking up my mental health real bad. He had given me a coke problem and Kiara sending me “grocery money” was enabling me to continue. I wasn’t honest with her about where all the money was going. During Halloween week we didn’t know that she couldn’t just snort molly (MDMA) with the frequency I was doing coke, she ODed, my guy best friend took us to the ER, it was so fucking scary, she got IV fluids for 2 hours and made a full recovery, she stopped doing molly, I kept doing coke. I’m so sorry :(

In November her SD paid for us to take a trip to Cancun Mexico. He was with us for the first part of the trip and this is where things started to get really bad. He tried to be my friend and act the way a boyfriend of my best friend who was my age would, but it was creepy and wrong and I was so uncomfortable. He asked about my drug use in a way that was gross and shamey and basically him seeing me as the “coke whore” stereotype...while continuing to buy me more coke. He also brought and gave us ecstasy pills. He asked really invasive questions about my relationship with my ex, why I stayed, my sex life, etc. It felt like an uncle asking me these questions, I did NOT wanna talk about any of this with him. But from what I did say it was very clear to someone with 44 years of life experience that I had an abusive mother, an addictive personality, and was in an unhealthy relationship. He offered to set me up with an SD friend of his looking for a sugar baby. I of course declined because I always knew this was a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross. No matter how bad my addictions got I would NOT give up that piece of myself in return for money.

In this part of Mexico, drugs that were only given with a prescription in the US were available over the counter. Kiara and I got a little box of 1mg Xanax with my money. My ex had given us Xanax a couple times in NY and we had fun with it, but at this point in time we did NOT have a problem with it. We had bought one bar, broken it in half, and each took half one night of Halloween week and called it “xanpires”, but this wasn’t something we were scripted or buying regularly from plugs. We went to dinner with her SD, we got up to go to the bathroom, and she immediately slipped and hit the ground. I was like woah did you take one of the xans and forget? Because we were supposed to tell each other if we were taking one so we could look out for each other. I was never mad at her! I never wanted money from her! I was just a little concerned, and once I determined that she was safe we thought it was kinda funny that she had taken a xan without realizing and started joking around about it. Her SD of course didn’t understand how a 19 year old and 21 year old girl joke with each other because he was a creepy old man, decided that we were “arguing”, and got up from the restaurant, walked across the street, bought a 90 count bottle of 2mg xans and gave it to me. This was honestly the most irresponsible way someone has ever treated me in my life, and this is coming from someone with an abusive and neglectful parent. Google “benzo withdrawal” if you’re not familiar with it.

We went to a different hotel, and Kiara and I both took xans and blacked out. I passed out on the guest bed, while Kiara was awake but in a conscious blackout. I woke up on the couch on the balcony (which was fine, it was comfy and I saw the sunrise over the beach. The gross part was that meant her SD had picked me up, put his hands on my body while I was unconscious and carried me out there). I remembered that at one point I had woken up, wanted to go to the bathroom or get something from inside, caught a glimpse of what I thought was them having sex, and went back outside. I mentioned it to Kiara and she had no memory of it whatsoever, she thought all she had done was gone to sleep. She was rightfully pissed the fuck off that her SD had taken advantage and done things with her while she was blacked, screamed at him, he gave us a half ass apology, and bought us more stuff (buying our silence). He finally flew home and we got to enjoy the trip with just each other, but I was careless with the dosage of a drug called tramadol, and I ODed with my head in her lap...I’m sorry. When I woke up I was hallucinating, hearing voices, crying hysterically and terrified. Kiara called my ex who asked how many mg I took, told us I was 100mg short of the amount that would require medical attention, made me laugh, and told me to go to sleep. I recognize how scary and unfair to her this was and I really do take responsibility for my actions. The day I was supposed to leave I did ecstasy, hooked up with a guy from Canada, and tried to skip my flight. She was mad because like yeah what the fuck. She got me on the flight, the ecstasy comedown hit, and there’s pictures of me crying in the airport because I hated when we fought.

I was supposed to stop in Miami, then fly back to my college town but while in Miami I texted my granny that I was “sad and really didn’t feel good and could she and my uncle visit me at the airport and bring my uncles dog?”. Her parenting instincts went off that something was very wrong, made me skip the flight, picked me up from the airport and took me to her house where I immediately threw up and ran an extremely high fever that night. She said it was one of the scariest nights of her life and she kept checking on me to see if I needed to go to the hospital. She drove me back to my college town where my guy best friend took me to the ER and it came out that Kiaras SD, in addition to giving me drugs, had also allowed me to drink Mexican tap water throughout the entire trip. I was treated for that + given chlamydia meds just in case since I’d had unprotected sex in a foreign country. I was fine, promised to do better, Kiara forgave me, things started to go back to normal. Except I had begun taking Xanax daily to deal with the anxiety of the illness...and she had a trip to Bali planned.

During that trip things managed to get even worse. She was there with her SD and another Korean friend and her SD was pressuring her and guilting her into sex, isolating her from her friend, going through her phone, and becoming extremely aggressive. She would call me crying and having panic attacks and I would walk out of class to try to comfort her over FaceTime. She did not have panic attacks before this trip. She begged to go home early because something was very wrong but he said it was a waste of money and kept her in Bali until the planned end of the trip. I think it was almost a month. She sent me a recording she secretly took of him screaming at her and her saying “don’t touch me, don’t grab me like that, leave me alone”. When she got back to the US I was begging her to stop. I was so worried for her safety. I said the money wasn’t worth it, we’ll get jobs, please just stop. I’m pretty sure he read those messages. We also had a suspicion that he had installed spyware on her phone but were never able to prove it. At this point I also reached out to my dad for help and his response was basically “I don’t care, not my problem, focus on school”. I reached out to my granny who absolutely cared, but her response was “I’m sorry but I can’t afford to support her, I have to focus on taking care of you, if she won’t stop this you’ll have to stop being friends with her”.

I went home to New York for winter break, suffered through my first round of Xanax withdrawal and was truly trying to get better but my ex manipulated his was back in my life and got me addicted again....but now this bottle of 90 had run out. I went back to my college town, got scripted, and was copping street bars when my script inevitably ran out early. What comes next is blurry for obvious reasons. We moved to the town in Florida my granny lived in and got an apartment together. The female friends she made in our town (my current home) she got most of them into sugaring and using SeekingArrangement. Things deteriorated super fast at this point. I was struggling hard, failing my online classes, and eventually got completely financially cut off by my parents. My granny was paying my half of the rent and my puppy’s vet bills but I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t afford groceries. Kiara was pressuring me hard to go on SeekingArrangement but I still refused. I would sit on the floor of the bathroom in a towel after I showered and just cry because the steam made me nauseous and dizzy since I wasn’t eating.

I met my current boyfriend and something just started to click: I didn’t wanna live like this anymore. The mom of a friend from this town who also refuses to sugar landed me an interview at the gym I currently work at, I fought for the job, and I got it. Now I knew I didn’t wanna be completely fucked up all the time anymore but I was still doing enough Xanax to keep me out of withdrawal. The 2mg that had blacked me out at the beginning were now just barely enough to keep me functional. Kiara and I were fighting frequently and bad by this time. She and her partner in sugaring, Mena (not her real name but pretty close to it, fuck this bitch fr) were expecting me to keep how they made their money a secret....from friends and guys that I saw every single day. They both very obviously did not work and were flexing new cars, designer clothes, and cash all over their social media. Kiara thought she could cover her ass by saying she dealt drugs but it was also obvious that she wasn’t putting the time into that to come up with the amount of money she had. The only one dealing drugs was me, and not enough to do anything flashy, just enough that in addition to my work money I was usually getting enough to eat. But there were still some times when the previous weeks paycheck had run out and I was having my first meal of the day at 3pm after someone had bought adderall from me. We had our serious serious fight where she threw my stuff in the lawn and I lived with my current boyfriend full time for about a couple weeks since my bedroom at my granny’s was getting refloored when this happened.

By January 20th he was concerned by my Xanax problem and wanted me to seriously try to stop. At the time I started tapering because I wanted the girlfriend title but I’m forever grateful for him giving me a reason, even if it was a shallow one, because I just needed to START. We tried to reconcile once, despite boyfriend and guy best friend begging me not to, and of course the same problems reappeared, we had another serious fight and haven’t spoken since.

Now the fog is clearing and today I’m 96 days clean of xanax, 16 days clean of all benzos, and 19 days clean of gabapentin (what was keeping me from having a seizure while quitting benzos). But it’s hard because being out of the fog means feeling all of my emotions, even the really bad ones. This past week I’ve been waking up and crying sitting in front of my mirror trying to put my makeup on for work and it just drips right off and I have to start over. She was my best friend for 8 years. My favorite person. My partner in life. I loved her more than anyone.

My boyfriend and guy best friend are pretty uncomfortable when they hear someone express an opinion of me that’s “Kiara’s side of the story” and I don’t correct it. Both of them saw exactly how bad it got near the very end and don’t get why I don’t defend myself more or tell people about her letting my dog eat dab (THC) wax while she was supposed to be watching her and having to be rushed to the animal hospital TWO separate times. (She’s a Pomeranian and the highly concentrated THC was super dangerous to her tiny little body). Yelling at me and giving me the silent treatment because less than 48 hours after my SA she expected me to drive her to a hair appointment in Miami and I woke up late and didn’t get her there on time with traffic. Me begging her to be there for me when it felt like everything was falling apart and I self harmed for the first time and her leaving me to go on a vacation to Orlando with a girl we didn’t even really like. Me not wanting to sleep in the apartment alone after my SA and her not letting me sleep in her bed anymore, her and Mena just dumping me at the neighbor’s so they could continue to sugar, party, and see guys our age at night (this sounds super awful but neighbors roommate —> current boyfriend. He kept me safe until I felt better, was really sweet and careful, and I was the one to make the first move). There’s more but I really don’t like talking about it, after the abuse she went through and I assume is still going through, I expect her to be pretty damaged and not have it in her to treat people right all the time. Not exposing every bad thing she’s ever done to all our mutual friends and acquaintances is kind of my last gift to her.

I also admit that sugaring wasn’t responsible for everything that went wrong. Loving an addict is difficult and exhausting and I went through it myself with my ex. I was also out bi and she was “probably straight, maybe a little bi-curious” in her words. But when she was drunk or on Xanax she’d kiss me first...we had done more than kiss but only during 3somes with a guy. I don’t know, I think I loved her more than I was supposed to and some of the stuff she’d say made me think she saw me in a way she really didn’t. When we first moved to this town I had a thing with a girl and expected it to be no big deal but things here were different than up north. I got called the d slur for the first time by someone who wasn’t joking. It was like getting slapped I was so shocked and hurt, I truly didn’t think that happened anymore. I think she saw what happened to me and kinda closed off that part of herself because she didn’t wanna experience that herself. She stopped making out with me at bars and parties after that and it made me sad and maybe a little jealous. But I really do blame her SD for basically “breaking her”, for handing me that first bottle of free Xanax, for a lot of other little things that I can’t possibly include because this is already way too long. This is my first time even saying this much. Feel free to add your own experiences or thoughts on this or anything you’d like. [I’m prepared to get death threats or called a SWERF or whatever but I don’t care, now that I started talking about this I’m not going to stop.]

#terf safe #terfs please touch #terfs please interact #radfem #radical feminists please touch #radical feminst #radical feminism #terf #swerfs please interact #swerf #anti prostitution #addiction #recovery #terfs do touch #sugardadddy

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bisexual-horror-fan · 4 years ago

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Stu Macher Sugar Daddy AU Headcannons.

So back when I did Kinky December, to close out that super fun event, I wrote this, fun little peice, an AU story about an older Stu Macher being your sugar daddy and it was on my mind and figured fuck it, why not do a personal headcannon post for this AU? If you like this and got any additions or ideas, have it, shoot me an ask or something! I like to think in this AU Stu has some big job he got via family connections in the financial district in New York and also while he and Billy have some certain tastes, they never indulged fully but that is part of where you come in! So let's get into it under the cut.

This is a sex worker positive space and sex work is valid work, if you don't think so, move on.

Rating: NSFW. Length: 1.5K. Warnings: Daddy Kink. General Poly!Ghostface Fuckery.

-Stu and you start this with the explicit implication of what your relationship was meant to be. He found you through the site you advertise yourself through for sugaring. The usual protocol followed after that. A date to determine how compatible you both were and you were both kind of surprised by how well you got along on that first date.

-You both obviously wanted to see each other again and so after discussing the usual things, expectations, wants, needs, allowance, and so the arrangement began officially.

-Neither of you expected how quickly it would escalate or how well you would truly get along. You and Stu got on like a house on fire. Conversation was lively and frequent, he was true to his word and gave even more than initially promised. Money was seemingly no object, he would pick up the tab without question, and would surprise you frequently.

-You dropped your other regular dates shortly after that. He didn’t ask you to but it was something you wanted to do, simply wanted to spend as much time as possible with him and be available whenever he needed and money wasn’t an issue at all anymore.

-It wasn’t just a business relationship anymore, developed into more than that and you couldn’t be happier about it.

-Yes you do call him Daddy, but not explicitly in public a lot of the time, something he asks, but it makes the times he TELLS you to call him it in public that much hotter. He calls you tons of pet names and you love it.

-He takes the title seriously. He actually CARES for you. It is about a hell of a lot more than just the sexual angle.

-You would stay over at Stu’s constantly, loved his place and he loved to have you around. He still insisted that you have your own place, paid for by him of course, he would even come by on occasion but much preferred to go out or have you over at his place. He liked you having your own space in case you ever needed it and didn’t want to intrude on YOUR space, even tho it was intruding at all.

-He loves to bring you to work events and show you off. Not just how you look and how well you are dressed and the finery he buys for you to trot you out in but also with the intelligent and insightful things you have to say and contribute. He also may or may not have given you pointers on shit pertaining to the business he was in prior to the event to make you look even better than you already were. You had done the going to work functions thing in your line of work a lot and were no slouch and it was something else that made this set up all the better.

-What is your poison because my God Stu is gonna be giving you it so much. You a fan of high end coffee? Yup you can count on him bringing you one or asking you out for coffee, dropping one off or sending someone over with one or hell getting an expensive and personal machine installed in your kitchen. You like getting your nails done? Well fuck how much babe, let him flash some cash and let you go get the most crazy nails your heart desires. You a foodie or a total lush? Lucky you! He loved going out to eat and for drinks. Or do you have a total shoe fetish? You getting any and all pairs of shoes you have ever even remotely laid your eyes on with even mildly passing interest. Clothes too duh, he loves to dress you up.

-So what interests you? Because Stu is interested in it now as well. He could listen to you go on about what was important to you for literal hours and you better believe he uses every little bit of info to better spoil you! While he loved to get you the more obvious things, food, clothes, money, basic luxuries you better believe he would get you items especially tailored to your hobbies and likes.

-Any place you ever wanted to travel too? Oh what a wild coincidence! All of a sudden a beautifully planned and paid for trip that Stu just HAPPENS to have tickets as well as his scheduled opening up all MAGICALLY coincides and you have the best time.

-The sex is insane. I mean duh, of fucking course, that happened early and often and was a big factor in determining your compatibility. He loved to spoil you in that way too, lingerie and toys and lavishing you with attention. My God he sure liked to use that mouth of his for more than just talking.

-He loves semi-public stuff. Loves pushing boundaries too. He adores going out for dinner with you looking just so dressed up and gorgeous and not being able to wait to get back to his place and fucking you in the back of the towncar on the way home.

-Having you suck him off under his desk at work on a lunch break.

-Having you ON that desk after hours.

-Fucking you on literally every surface of his apartment.

-So it doesn’t stay just Stu, you know that right? Once he is sure that you are an amazing fit he introduces you to Billy. Tells you that they have been friends for-fucking-ever and that you both liking eachother was important to him.

-You get along great with him too. You loved to see how they were together, he brought out this side in Stu that was so fun, not like he wasn’t fun usually but it was just kinda different, more playful you could say.

-You realize that you are introduced to Billy for more than just friendship.

-You are not opposed to this at all. You ask if they have done this before and the answer is yes. Sharing partners? Yep. Just them being together? Yes. Swapping? Naturally. Billy was hot and fun and treated you well too and again, the sex was fuckin’ good.

-So when the three of you were fully into the swing of this arrangement it was really fucking good. Plus you were literally never lonely. Some dates were just Stu and some were both and if Stu ever had to go out of town for some reason and you couldn’t come, well then Billy got you all to himself.

-He would insist that you stay at his place during those times to- “Properly keep an eye on you.” and you did not complain. Nights in with take-out that ended with you both on the couch or the mornings you’d share a shower before he had work or coming to his office all dressed up with lunch to impress his co-workers and maybe give him some head under his desk just like you do for Stu, all amazing.

His place was nice and you loved getting to have some time with just him, it was a great change of pace and Stu would love to come back to see you two being even closer.

-Stu coming back was so good too because of how he treated you when he missed you, a big date was a must after he was away and the way he fucked you after was specatular. The way he would whisper to you, asking about what you did this week and wanting to be filled in on all the dirty details of what you did with his best friend while he was away. You were all too happy to fill him in.

-Billy and Stu have some particular tastes. They suggest a weekend away, they have a game they want to play with you and you tentatively agree. You trust them both with your life and when you worded it that way the look they shared with a smirk should have been telling.

-A big rented beach house, a phone call, a “break in”, ropes and knives and costumes and more and oh my fucking God you got it. You understood it and were hooked and when it was all said and done and the ropes were being untied and you were still coming down with stars in your eyes and them praising the literal fuck out of you that they let it slip how often they had fantasized about this. That part of why they picked you, because Billy had been a bit more involved in the process of selecting you than you were initially made aware of, was how good they thought you would look being fucked by knifepoint.

-By what a-"pretty little victim you’d make” and well you knew you would be doing this again sometime. And it becomes a semi-regular occurrence in your sex lives.

-You spoil Stu in all kinds of ways. You surprise him with meals he loves, surprise visits when he is working, dropping in with the sweetest gifts, you try to remember all the little things he likes and love to listen to him. He knows he is in deep when you are traveling somewhere together the next day, a vacation, he works that day, comes back to his apartment to find you packed for him. You paid such close attention to detail and he felt so seen and appreciated.

-You do all the little things. Making breakfast the way he likes when you stay over, keeping in mind which clothes and lingerie he likes on you best, making notes when he particularly likes something you do or a color you wear.

-You still have your own life outside of your relationship. Friends and freedom, independence and it is all fucking great.

#BHF headcannons #Stu Macher #Billy Loomis #Poly!Ghostface #Sugar Daddy AU #I had a lot of fun with this #I gotta do more posts like this #You like?#Lemme know!

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prettyboyjackhughes · 4 years ago

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-Little Crosby- |D. Cozens| [Part 1]

It’s finally here! @workhorsefromwhitehorse24 and I have been working on this for a while now and I can honestly say that this is probably my favorite thing we’ve collaborated on! This was a little outside my comfort zone but I enjoyed writing it so much! Hope you enjoy! Let us know what you think!!

“Ava Grace I’m home!” Dad calls from downstairs. I sit up and grab my sweatshirt off of the floor.

“Coming!” I say as I pull it over my head and run out into the hall. I attempt to make it down the stairs without dying but almost fail as I get to the bottom step. “Whoops! Sorry!” I yell as I knock one of the pictures off the wall. He stands in the kitchen doorway and watches me, amused, as I fix the picture then turn to face him, a grin on my face. He had been gone for 2 weeks on a 5 game road trip, resulting in the Penguins going 4-1. Dad scored a pair of goals in the first two games. But sadly, it wasn’t enough of a push to get them to the playoffs.

“Hi Daddy!” I say, running to hug him. He lifts me off the ground and kisses the top of my head. Dad and I have always been super close. It’s been just him and I for years. Ever since I was born, it’s just been Dad and I. Grandma and Grandpa were always in the picture too, along with Aunt Taylor. The 4 of them have been my entire world and my family for the past 17 years. My mom has never been in the picture since she and Dad had me when they were super young, before Dad was in the NHL. Dad had moved from Nova Scotia by himself when he was 15, down to Faribault, Minnesota. Mom and Dad met within his first week of school. Dad tells me I look just like her but from what I can tell, the older I get, the more I look like Dad. But basically one thing turned to another, Dad had his first taste of freedom, being away from his parents and all, and 9 months later, I was born. As soon as Grandma and Grandpa found out, they moved Taylor and everything else down to be with my dad and help out with me. But one Saturday, Mom dropped me off with Dad and told him she had decided she wanted more than raising a baby and my dad so she left me with Dad and left. I’ve never heard from her, except for one birthday card when I turned 6. Grandma and Grandpa raised me alongside Taylor until Dad’s first season in the NHL. That’s when he moved me to Pittsburgh with him. I mean, before he was in the NHL, he made sure that he was a part of my life and made sure I knew that I was his little girl. But it hasn’t really been that big of a deal that Mom hasn’t been in the picture since I’ve had Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, and Aunt Taylor, plus all of Dad’s teammates through the years. It’s been a ride, having a dad like I do. I mean, he’s pretty much the face of the NHL and one of the greatest players to ever play hockey, being Sidney Crosby and all. Everywhere we go, he gets recognized so it was always hard for him to come to my things as I was growing up. But he always made sure that someone was there for me, whether it was one of my grandparents or Aunt Taylor. But even through all of that, my dad is my best friend. I’ve never needed anyone else.

“I missed you so much!” He says, setting me down and looking at me. I smile and nod.

“I missed you too! Nice set of goals by the way. Sorry about the playoffs...” I say, smiling as he walks into the kitchen. He shrugs as I follow him into the kitchen and sit down at the table, watching him wander around the kitchen, making one of his shakes he always drinks.

“It was a long two weeks for sure, but I’m glad I have you to come home too.” I nod and smile.

“Oh Sweetheart, before I forget, we’re going up to Toronto next weekend for the Leafs’ first playoff game, for your birthday. We’ll spend two weeks up in Toronto.” The Penguins missed out on the playoffs, ending their season early. But my Leafs made it to the first round of the playoffs. He smiles as my face lights up. The Toronto Maple Leafs are my favorite team. As disappointed as Dad was in me when he found out, he still supports it, just happy that I like hockey. My favorite player is Mitch Marner, which is a player Dad approves of. He raised me on the ice, around his team and made sure I loved hockey as much as he does. I played for 6 years but I decided I liked watching hockey better than playing.

“Really? We are?” I say, giddy.

“Yep, I think Tanger and Geno are going to come with us. I invited Taylor too, figured we could make a whole vacation of the trip. We can go out to dinner, shopping, all the fun, girly stuff you love. Oh and there’s a surprise flying out to see you too.” Kris Letang and Evgeni Malkin are Dad’s alternate captains and my honorary uncles. Up until about 4 years ago, I had 3 honorary uncles. Marc-André Fleury, the Penguins' goalie and now the Vegas Golden Knights’ goalie was the third. He and Dad are still close which means he still claims the third honorary uncle spot. When he got married in 2012, I was the flower girl. I’ve actually been in all 3 of my “uncle’s” weddings. They’ve been a huge part of my life since I was little, even when Dad was trying to keep me out of the spotlight. I smile, pushing my hair out of my face. I think the thing that everyone always finds so interesting about Dad and I, is that he did such a good job keeping me out of the spotlight up until I was old enough to understand what was going on. But as soon as I started going to events with him, everyone knew I was his daughter. I mean, I look and act like a female version of Dad so it makes perfect sense that I’m his daughter.

“Ava girl, do you want to see if one of your friends wants to come with us? Might be a little boring to spend your birthday weekend with a bunch of old people.” Dad says, finally sitting down with his gross shake. I nod and laugh, thinking of who I could invite. I go to Shady Side Academy in downtown Pittsburgh, which is a big, fancy private school. There’s a little over 1,100 kids that go to my school, but only about 70 of them are in my grade.

“Oh, I’ll invite Carter. Let me text her and see if she can go.” Carter James has been my best friend since 2nd grade. She’s my total opposite and somehow, it works.

“Okay Honey. I’m going to go lay down for a little bit. Our flight left pretty early this morning so I’m pretty tired. Go ahead and order something for dinner. Anything but pizza please.” I pout a little, my bottom lip jutting out. He smiles and drops a kiss on the top of my head as he walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I walk out to the living room and flop on the couch, getting on my phone to watch Tik Tok for a while. Suddenly, the door to the house flies open and my Aunt Taylor waltzes in.

“Hello my absolute favorite niece in the entire world!” She calls, dumping her purse and everything in her hands onto the bench by the door. Grandma decorated the entire house. Dad was going to hire a decorator but Grandma insisted and somehow, Dad ended up liking what she did with the place.

“I’m your only niece so I hope I’m your favorite. But hey Aunt Tay. What’s up?” I asked, sitting up.

“Nothing much. Just came home to drive my big brother crazy and talk about your birthday trip with you. How excited are you? Hey wait, isn’t it your 18th birthday?” I smile and nod again. Aunt Tay is a little scatterbrained and once forgot how old I was turning and bought me a 13th birthday card. I was turning 11. But of course, she always means well and loves me a ton.

“Carter is coming with us. Do you know what the surprise is? Dad just told me there is one but didn’t say anything else.” Taylor grins as she nods.

“I’m not telling you but just know this, you’re gonna be really really excited.” She says, sitting down on the couch by my feet.

“So how’s things at school? Still thinking about going to UPenn?” She asks, tapping her thumb against my knee. I sigh.

“Ugh I don’t know anymore. I fell in love with UPenn when I visited there with Grandma last fall but I don’t know if I want to be that far away from everyone. I mean, it’s only 4 hours but going from how things are now to that? That’s a lot to process.” She nods, watching me.

“Well Honey, you know your dad would make sure you had a car on campus and everything. So you can always come back home and visit. But I mean, it’s been you and your dad since you were a baby. Maybe it’s time to go out on your own a little?” I cringe a little at the thought.

“I don’t wanna leave!” I say, falling into Taylor’s lap and drawing out the end of the word. She laughs and smooths my hair down.

“We’ll figure something out. You’ve still got time, Ava Grace.” She says and somehow, those words make all the anxiety I have about college and everything else coming up in my future fade to a dull roar instead of the screams it has been for the past couple weeks. I’ve always been able to talk to Dad about anything which is why he and I have such a good relationship now. But the one thing I haven’t been able to talk to him about is college. Dad went straight from high school into the NHL. He always claims to understand but I’m pretty sure it just confuses him sometimes.

“Okay you two, it’s very hard to sleep when all I can hear is laughing and carrying on.” Dad says, coming back downstairs.

“Yeah yeah, keep it down, Patrick.” Taylor says, looking up at Dad. Dad hates being called by his middle name which is why Taylor calls him that. He rolls his eyes and bats her hand away as she reaches up to poke him. When the two of them are together, Grandma always says they act like they did when they were little.

“Have you girls figured out everything for us leaving on Thursday? Ava, is Carter going with us?” I grab my phone off the arm of the couch and turn it on, quickly reading the notifications on the screen.

“Yeah she’s going. And she’s gonna be here in 3, 2, 1!” I count down as the door bursts open again. Carter and my Aunt Taylor are two peas in a pod. They’re practically the same person which is why I love them both so much.

“Hello Crosby family!” She shouts, sliding across the floor and landing on top of me.

“Oh this is going to be a long two weeks.” Dad says, laughing and rubbing his forehead.

“So we’re going to Toronto for your 18th birthday? And to see the love of your life? Hell yeah this is going to be a great trip.” Carter says, looking up at me.

“Okay, Carter James, slow down please.” I say, patting her head.

“Wait, isn’t the legal drinking age in Canada, 18?” Carter asks, sitting up and looking at Dad.

“Oh my God Sidney Patrick. You’re taking your daughter to Canada to drink for her 18th birthday?” Taylor says, looking over at Dad with a smirk on her face.

“Taylor Jane, you’d better cut it out or you’re not going anymore.” He says, shaking his finger at her. Carter and I laugh and Taylor rolls her eyes.

“She’s responsible enough to handle this. You two are the ones I have to worry about.” Dad says, pointing at Carter and Aunt Taylor.

“Tanger and Geno are going too? Oh this is going to be a blast!” Taylor says, rubbing her hands together and grinning evilly. Dad’s head drops into his hands and the 3 of us burst out laughing. Carter and I spend the rest of the evening planning our trip out while Dad and Aunt Taylor watch the St. Cloud game. The week leading up to our trip to Toronto flies by, but my excitement for the game only builds. It’s not the first time I’ve been to a Leafs game, nor is it the first time I’ve gotten to watch my favorite player play. But it’s happening on my 18th birthday and that makes it even more exciting.

Thursday morning, two days before my birthday, Carter wakes me up by bouncing on my bed.

“We’re leaving today!” She sings, bouncing more. I roll over and groan.

“Carter James, it’s too early!” I say, shoving her. She laughs at me and I sit up.

“Come on, we’re going to dinner with the love of your life tonight!” She says. I jump out of bed and look at her, eyes wide. I’m 100% a Mitch Marner fan girl. Carter thinks it’s hilarious but she’s the exact same way for Patrick Kane. We ran into him at the Stanley Cup Finals one year and she was speechless.

“What are you talking about? Dinner with who?” I ask. Dad walks in and is now standing in my doorway.

“I called in a few favors and we’re going to dinner with Mitch Marner and Morgan Rielly tonight. How does that sound?” He says, as my mouth drops open.

“Oh my God thank you thank you Daddy!” I say, running over to hug him. He smiles and Carter laughs.

“She’s gonna faint as soon as she sees him. Total freak out.” Carter says, crossing her arms and laughing.

“I am not! I’ll be perfectly fine. It’s just another hockey player. Not like I’m in love with him or anything.” I say, pointing at her. She rolls her eyes and we both laugh.

“Where my favorite birthday girl?” I hear a deep voice call from downstairs.

“Geno, it’s too early for you to be this loud. Shut up.” I hear Taylor say.

“I take it G and Tanger just got here?” Dad calls and Taylor groans in response.

“Alright girls get ready and we’ll leave in a little over an hour. Go down and say hi to everyone first though.” I nod and follow Dad downstairs, Carter tagging along behind me.

“Hi Uncle Geno, Uncle Kris!” I say, running to hug both of them as they stand up from where they were sitting on the couch. Taylor is taking up the other end of the couch, facedown in a pillow. “Are you excited for your birthday trip?” Kris asks, patting my back as he hugs me.

“I’m so excited. Do you know what my surprise is? Dad still won’t tell me.” Geno laughs, still too loud for Taylor apparently because a pillow goes flying across the room and just misses his head.

“Tay, go drink some coffee please, you’re being a brat right now.” Dad says, patting her head.

“I know surprise. You like a lot.” Geno says, crossing his arms and looking down at me. I raise an eyebrow. I’ve been the victim of one of Dad’s surprises before and let’s just say he doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to surprises.

“Is it bad that I’ve been your best friend for 12 years and I still can’t understand what he’s saying?” Carter asks, leaning over to me. I laugh and Geno looks between the two of us.

“Who you? You Ava’s best friend?” Carter rolls her eyes and nudges Geno, who laughs again and hugs her. “Alright, Little Crosby, let’s get this show on the road.” Kris says, pointing towards the stairs. I smile and rush upstairs to get dressed and grab my bags. I pick out a pair of black leggings and a peach colored Adidas sweatshirt. I change into the clothes and put my pajamas in the dirty clothes. I put on mascara quickly, finishing everything off with some lip gloss. I grab my Birkenstocks and slip them on.

“Okay, I’m ready!” I call as I drag my bag down the stairs behind me. I again attempt not to die on my way down the stairs. But yet again, I fail.

“Oh God, Little Crosby.” Kris says, somehow managing to catch me as I trip down the last 3 steps.

“Your daughter is a human wrecking ball. You know that, right Sid?” Dad laughs and nods.

“I haven’t killed myself yet. So far, we’re safe.” Everyone laughs and I smile. All these people filling this house are my entire family. They’ve raised me and I wouldn’t be who I am without all of them.

“Okay, let’s get going! Our flight leaves in 45 minutes!” Dad calls, attempting to herd us all towards the door. Taylor has finally had her coffee and returned to the world of the living.

“Toronto here we come!” She calls as we all get out the door and into the two cars we’re taking. Dad locks the door behind us and turns to look at me.

“You excited, Ava Grace?” I nod and he hugs me to his side.“I hope this lives up to your idea of the perfect 18th birthday.” I laugh and nod again as we head to his car.

The drive to the airport and the flight to Toronto are pretty boring but Kris and Taylor keep everyone entertained the whole trip. Carter finally crashed after the Red Bulls she had while we were waiting for our flight to get called in the airport, leaving me to my own thoughts pretty much the entire flight. When we land in Toronto, everyone is pretty excited for the next two weeks.

“Little Crosby surprise time!” Geno calls from the back of our group.

“Geno, we’re still in an airport. Keep it down a little please?” Carter says, patting his arm. Dad scoffs and looks between me and Carter.

“He’s right though, your surprise is right through those doors.” Dad says, pointing towards the exit of the airport. I see Taylor pull her phone out of her pocket and start recording me. I hand my bag to Kris and look over at Geno who motions me towards the door. I walk towards the doors, which slide open. I glanced around then back at Dad and Taylor who followed me out.

“Little Crosby!” I hear a very familiar voice yell over the buzz of the airport.

“Oh my God! Uncle Flower!” I shout, rushing towards my uncle Marc and hugging him.

“Surprise!” Dad calls, smiling as I hug Marc.

“So you were my surprise?” I say, stepping back and looking at him.

“Yep, I was the big wonderful surprise. Hope you weren’t too disappointed.” He says, smiling as his arm rests around my shoulders.

“I figured you’d want all of your uncles here for your big 18th birthday. So we worked it out and got him here for you.” I smile, quickly hugging Dad before returning to hug Marc again.

“Alright well, it’s time to get heading to the hotel. We’re going to dinner at 6:30 tonight. Geno, Flower and Kris are taking Tay to something that I know nothing about. And you’re okay with Carter going with us?” I nod as Marc leads us and the rest of our group to the waiting van.

“I’m taking a nap when we get to the hotel. You woke me up too early this morning.” I say, nudging Carter as she slides into the van next to me.

“Sounds like a plan. The Red Bull ran out.” She says, laying her head on my shoulder. The two of us manage to fall asleep on the 20 minute drive to the hotel. Geno shakes us both awake when we get to the hotel. We sleepily wander into the hotel and wait in the lobby while Dad and Tay get everything figured out. The adults herd us all over to the elevator and into it, somehow managing to get us all to the conjoined rooms we have for the next two weeks. As soon as we make it into the rooms, Carter and I collapse onto the bed we’ll be sharing and fall asleep.

About 2 and a half hours later, Dad comes in and wakes us up.

“Girls, we have about an hour before we have to leave for dinner. Go ahead and start getting ready.” He calls as he closes the door behind him. I sit up and stretch, the excitement building in my chest all over again.

“Okay, I think I’m gonna curl my hair and wear that frilly, layered red skirt with the white sweater and my little brown boots. What about you, Carter?” I ask, looking back at her who is still laying in bed.

“So I have to dress nice right? I think the army green pants romper thing with my jean jacket, Vans and straight hair. Sound good?” She asks, finally sitting up. I nod and get started curling my hair. She gets started on doing her makeup while I work on my hair. Somehow, we both end up being done with plenty of time left to spare. So we do what typical teenagers do and spend the extra 15 minutes we have, on our phones. Dad comes in and the two of us follow him down to the elevator and out to the car. It’s some super nice, fancy car; just like the one that lives in our garage except on home game days. Dad lets Carter play music which automatically, I can tell, he regrets as Cotton Eye Joe plays for the third time. Carter is having the time of her life and I can’t help but laugh along with her. When we get to the restaurant, it’s one Dad and I came to, back when we came to Toronto for some charity event a few years ago.

“Alright, how excited are you?” Dad asks, as he parks the car and we climb out. I squeal a little and Carter laughs. Dad smiles, draping his arm around my shoulders as I link arms with Carter. The 3 of us waltz into the restaurant and walk up to the hostess.

“Hello, Mr. Crosby. Your two guests are already seated.” I squeeze Carter’s arm and we squeal a little together. As we follow the hostess to our table, back in the back, we pass a table with two teenage boys. One looks Carter up and down, obviously checking her out, while the other locks eyes with me. I smile, forcing myself to look away as we disappear into the back, private room Dad reserved for us.

“Holy crap, did you see those guys?” Carter whisper-yells into my ear. I nod, trying to focus on the fact that Mitch Marner is standing a few feet away from me, a grin on his face, instead of the guy I just saw.

“Hey Sid. This must be Ava and Carter. Nice to meet you girls.” Mitch says, reaching his hand out. I shake it, the smile on my face impossibly large. Morgan Rielly stands next to him and shakes our hands as well. As we all sit down, I happen to glance around the room and see that both of the boys are looking into the room. As much as I want to pay attention to what Mitch, Mo and Dad are talking about, I can’t. I’m too distracted by the boy I saw. Carter, apparently can’t either.

“Ava, they were literally so hot. Can I please go get their numbers?” She asks, nudging me when she catches me staring again.

“No! Dad will kill me if he catches me talking to a boy!” I whisper-yell, glancing up at Dad and Mitch.

“Ava Grace, that could be your freaking soulmate and you’ll never know because you won’t let me go get their numbers!” I roll my eyes and glance over my shoulder at the boys’ table. Sadly, they’re gone and I sigh, looking over at Carter.

“They’re gone anyway. Not like we’re ever gonna see them again anyways.” I say, glumly, resting my chin on my hand. She shakes her head. “There went your soulmate.” I sigh, knowing she won’t let me live this down. Dad clears his throat, pulling Carter and I back to the conversation happening at the table.

“So Ava, I hear you’re a pretty big fan of mine.” Mitch says, leaning on his elbows against the table. I smile, taking in all of his features.

“Yeah, you’ve been my favorite since you came into the league. Dad’s always a little disappointed when I don’t tell people he’s my favorite player.” Mitch and Mo laugh. The rest of the evening, conversation flows easily and Carter and I both have a blast. As I glance at my Apple watch and see the time, Carter nudges me again.

“Your dad is looking at you funny.” She says, nodding her head towards Dad. I look up, my eyes meeting my dad’s gaze.

“It’s getting late, are you girls ready to head back to the hotel? Your aunt and uncles should be getting back soon too.” Carter and I nod and I turn to look at Mitch.

“I’ll be wearing your jersey on Saturday night. Don’t disappoint me. Also it’s my birthday so a goal or two would be nice.” Mitch and Mo laugh as Dad smiles down at me.

“I will try my hardest. Glad we could spend the evening with you lovely ladies. See you on Saturday after the game? There’ll be passes for your whole group at the ticket desk.” My face lights up and I know Carter’s does too.“Okay great! See you then! Good luck!” I say, standing and hugging Mitch. Mo shakes Dad’s hand and then the two of them head out.

“You two seemed very distracted all during dinner. Was everything okay?” Dad asks as the 3 of us head back out to the car after he pays.“Yeah everything was fine. Dinner was super good and fun. Carter just saw some cute boy and wouldn’t shut up about him.” Dad laughs and rolls his eyes.

“Hey, in my defense, your daughter was looking too so it wasn’t just me.” Carter says, crossing her arms. Dad’s head whips around as we climb in the car.

“A boy? What?” I groan internally and elbow Carter. I’ve never been that into boys. I mean, I’ve thought plenty of boys were cute and had quite a few guy friends but I’ve never had the time or the effort that comes with having a relationship. So it’s never been a topic of conversation for Dad and I.

“Nothing, it was nothing. Don’t worry about it, Dad.” I say, trying to avoid the topic.

“It’s interesting though. I was just talking to your uncle Kris about how you’ve never had a boyfriend or anything like that. Which is fine with me because I know what boys are like.” Dad says as we drive back to the hotel. Carter is dying sitting next to me, her hand pressed against her mouth to avoid laughing out loud.

“I-I know...I’ve just never had the time or wanted one.” I say, burying my head in my hands.

“Well you don’t need one. You have all the guys you need in your life. Me, your Uncle Geno, Uncle Kris, Uncle Marc, and Grandpa.” Carter finally bursts out laughing and Dad looks in the rearview mirror at me.

“I’m serious, Ava Grace. Why do you need a boyfriend?” Dad has never really been the overprotective dad. He’s protective for sure but he kind of lets me do my own thing most of the time. He knows if I need to, I’ll come to him or one of the other main adults in my life. But he lets me make my own decisions and figure life out by myself. This whole ‘no boyfriend’ thing that he’s doing right now is new.

“I guess I don’t. You’re right.” I say, putting an end to the conversation by turning and looking out the window. Thankfully, Dad doesn’t push any farther. The 3 of us ride in silence, the radio off, the rest of the way back to the hotel. Once we get into the hotel and up to our rooms, I tell Dad goodnight, give him a hug and a kiss then follow Carter into our room. Carter distracts me from the disaster of a conversation that was with Dad and forces me to watch some cheesy rom-com with her. I fall asleep midway through and sleep in late the next day. Taylor takes Carter and I out shopping all day on Friday while my dad and the uncles do who knows what. The topic of boys is avoided all day, All night at dinner on Friday, we catch up with everyone. I fill Marc in on what Dad’s latest old person moment was, even though he’s only 33. Everything seems so perfect and happy but I keep replaying the conversation with Dad over and over again in my head.

Saturday morning, my birthday morning, Carter wakes me up with cake in bed. It’s a tradition we started when we were 12. Every year on our birthday, the other girl brings the birthday girl cake in bed. It’s one of my favorite birthday traditions.

“Happy birthday Little Crosby! You are adult now!” Geno calls, leading the rest of my family into my room. Dad brings up the end of the line and walks over to the bed. He hugs me, pressing a kiss to my forehead.“Happy birthday my sweet girl.” He says, smoothing my hair down and getting all teary-eyed.

“I can’t believe the young lady you’ve grown into. You are beautiful, strong, independent and so responsible. I...I didn’t think things would end up this way, especially with your mom not being in the picture. But I look around you and I see all these people who helped raise you and I know, you’ve turned out more than okay. I love you Ava Grace and will always love you. Happy birthday.” Dad says. I take another bite of the cake Carter brought me and smile up at him.

“I love you so much, Daddy. Thank you for everything. Thank you everyone for everything you’ve done for me. I love all of you.” They all share a sappy smile and I keep eating my cake. The rest of the day, we hang out at the hotel, lounging around before the game tonight at 7. Marc and Geno see how many pieces of pizza they can eat while Dad keeps score. Taylor paints Carter’s nails and I pick at mine. Kris sneaks out to buy me ice cream and comes back with at least 10 different kinds, all of them my favorite in one way or another.

Carter and I start getting ready around 4:30 so we’re ready to leave by 5. I straighten my hair and do just light makeup. I dig my Mitch Marner jersey out of my bag and put it on with some black leggings. Carter wears the jersey of the only Leaf she likes, Frederik Andersen. She opted for black ripped jeans instead of leggings. Everyone else is just dressed casual. Marc did wear a Leafs hat just to please me. The drive to the arena, Carter gets to play music again. She plays our ‘Hockey Game Hype Up’ playlist, something we made a few years ago. Even though I’m the music person, she’s much better at putting playlists together. I’m only really good at finding one or two songs I love and just playing them over and over again. As the songs ‘Auston Matthews’ by Svdvm and ‘Toronto Maple Leafs Anthem’ by JDME play back to back, we pull into the arena parking lot. No matter how many times I’ve been to Scotiabank Arena, it never ceases to amaze me. I think I’ve been here a grand total of like 15 times in the last 10 years, solidifying it as my favorite arena.

“Come on Ava, let’s go watch your boy play.” Carter says, linking her arm through mine. She leads me and the rest of our group into the arena. Everyone else heads to the box but I decide to stay down in the main area and wander around a bit, making sure I get the full experience again. All around me, Leafs fans are hurrying to one place or another. I take everything, wanting to remember this for the rest of my life. As I’m walking down a small set of stairs, I collide with a pretty solid body. And of course, with my human wrecking ball abilities, I manage to take both of us down, all the way to the ground. “Shit! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” I ask, sitting up and looking at the boy I collided with. He sits up, looks at me, down at the ground, then back up at me. His eyes are huge.

“I-Oh my God. Yeah-Yeah I’m okay! Are you?” He asks, jumping to his feet and reaching his hand out to help me up. I take his hand and he pulls me to my feet. “Yeah I’m all good. Sorry for taking you out. I’m known for being clumsy. Like the jersey by the way.” I say, pointing to where the number 16 is stitched into the arm of his jersey. The same number sprawled across my back.

“Hey, I like yours too. Marner your favorite player?” I nod, pushing my hair back out of my face.

“Yeah, I grew up a Penguins fan because of my dad but the Leafs are my favorite team.” He smiles and nods. He looks so familiar but I can’t place where I know him from. Talking to him comes so naturally and it seems like the world just goes on around us while we stand there and talk. Before I know it, they’re starting the lineup announcements.

“Oh shoot, I gotta get going. Enjoy the game!” I call over my shoulder as I run back towards the box we’re all sitting in. Of course, I trip up the steps and almost fall. As I glance over my shoulder, I see the boy with a smirk on his face. I blush and mentally kick myself for first off accidentally tackling a cute boy then tripping and almost falling in front of him. As I rush back into the box, Dad eyes me with a raised eyebrow. I huff and flop into my seat next to Marc and Carter. Carter glances at me out of the corner of her eye and smirks.

“Why are you all red and bothered about?” I bite my lip and Marc looks over at me.“I accidentally tackled a cute boy…” I say, burying my head in my hands. Carter and Marc laugh and Marc pats my back.

“There there, Little Crosby. I did much worse to your aunt Véronique.” I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder. Geno and Kris are behind us, teasing Taylor as Dad watches what’s going on down on the ice. His hand is resting on my shoulder, absentmindedly squeezing and releasing in a protective way. As I sit there, watching the game, all I can think about is the boy. But as I do, I think about the conversation Dad and I had last night in the car. Did he really mean what he said? Would he really get upset if I did ever decide to have a boyfriend?

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